#this IS on my watch list and i have seen ep 1

[minnarr]

Han Ye - Legend of Anle episode 37

[yelena-bellova]

Twenty Years Later: Joel Miller x F!Reader - Chapter Ten

Chapter Ten: September 26th, 2003

Plot: There are very few tragedies in life that come with warning.

Word Count: 12.8k (longest chapter yet)

Warnings: tlou ep.1 spoilers, language, canon-typical violence, gore, blood, guns, death, loss of a child, injuries, implied smut (16+)

A/N: Well, we’ve arrived at that fateful chapter…this took so long to even be emotionally able to write. There are so many small details that I hope people catch, and plenty of things to remember for future chapters.

As always, this series is 16+ and I will not be adding anyone to the taglist unless your age/range is specified in your bio. Gotta look out for younger eyes 👀

I hope y’all enjoy this one, and thank you so much for all the kind words, theories and general love I receive throughout the week 💞

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September 26th, 2003. Austin, Texas.

There are very few tragedies in life that come with warning.

Families of the terminally ill are given a vague timeline of when they’ll lose their loved one.

Soldiers are told before marching into battle that they may lose their life.

But a car crash does not announce itself before causing the collision.

A heart attack doesn’t prepare its victim before it steals their breath.

Nor did Cordyceps feel it owed the world any notice before it arrived.

On the morning of September 26th, Y/n was awoken by strips of sunlight coming through the blinds of Joel’s bedroom window. She was the early riser out of the two and she never minded, it gave her more time to admire the handsome lump weighing her down.

Y/n brushed a strand of hair off her boyfriend’s forehead and pressed a feather light kiss to it. Joel didn’t wake easily, but she liked to say she at least tried the sweet way before having to go nuclear. She gently rubbed his back, running her palm up and down the warm skin, but it only made him settle deeper into her chest. Y/n smiled and shook her head, knowing that in mere seconds….

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.

It truly was miraculous how deep Joel could go into his rest. Y/n rolled her eyes and tried to reach across the pillows to switch off the clock, her fingers wiggling in the air as she strained. With his arms firmly wrapped around Y/n’s body, Joel didn’t even budge.

Finally, salvation came in the form of Sarah banging on the bedroom door, jolting Joel awake.

“Alarm,” the girl called, raising her voice the second time, “Alarm!”

“Thank you,” Y/n called back.

Joel rolled over, barely aware of his surroundings, and switched off the clock. He pushed up on one arm and turned back to his girlfriend, watching him with a smirk.

“What?”

Y/n shook her head, “You must be great in emergencies.”

Joel rubbed at his eyes, “Maybe I’m a little tired because someone wore me out last night.”

“Oh, don’t blame me for this,” Y/n laughed, “A year and a half and I’ve never seen you wake up when your alarm goes off. Not once.”

Joel looked down at her, squinting from the sunlight, a small smile playing on his lips, “Maybe I hear it, but there’s a more compellin’ reason to ignore it.”

He slipped back down into the sheets, resting his head once again on Y/n’s chest.

“Oh, no, no, no,” Y/n began to shimmy out of his arms, “We gotta get up.”

Joel tightened his hold around her torso, “My birthday, I make the rules.”

“No, it’s your birthday and Sarah and I make the rules,” Y/n corrected. Joel had never been one for celebrating the day, meaning it was up to Sarah and Y/n to make the day special, “What you want actually ranks very low on the list.”

Joel was paying very little attention to his girlfriend’s words, trailing a line of kisses up the chest of his t-shirt she was wearing and across her neck. “Five minutes,” he mumbled against her skin.

“No,” Y/n denied, her pulse speeding up the further his lips travelled.

“Yes,” Joel ignored her protests, making his way up to where her jawline met her ear.

“No,” Y/n laughed, her words not lining up with her reaction as she ran a hand over Joel’s hair.

“Say it again, honey,” Joel whispered against her ear, “And mean it.”

Y/n was teetering on the edge of letting him take what he wanted, but her loyalty to Joel’s daughter won out. “Sarah’s cooking you breakfast,” she said, slipping her hand between their chests, “And I’m not gonna be the one to tell her that her dad missed out on her efforts because he was horny.”

Joel snorted, dropping his head and laughing against Y/n’s chest.

Y/n pulled his face up to hers and laid a kiss on his lips, “Happy Birthday.”

“Just another reminder I’m gettin’ old,” Joel grumbled.

“True,” Y/n smiled, taking his scratchy cheeks into her palms, “But you’re my old man.”

Joel chortled, running his hands over Y/n’s body one last time before reluctantly rolling off of her. Their day had to begin, whether he wanted it to or not…

The two got dressed for work, while Y/n hadn’t officially moved in with the Millers, it was her second home. She kept practically one of everything in Joel’s room because of how often she slept over.

Y/n was the first of them down the stairs, landing in the kitchen where Sarah was already laying strips of bacon in a pan, “Can you take this so I can get the eggs?”

“You got it,” Y/n responded, switching places with the girl.

Sarah opened the fridge doors, getting a whiff of the inside, “When was the last time we cleaned this out?”

“Uh, two weeks ago, I think,” Y/n replied.

“Well, something died in it recently,” Sarah stated, grabbing a bowl to whisk the eggs in.

Sarah and Y/n’s relationship had stayed as steady as her and Joel’s. She’d expected some sort of pushback eventually, Sarah had just hit the teenage years, but it had yet to come. Y/n theorized it was because the young girl was just happy to have a woman in her life, but she felt like that was giving herself too much credit.

With the protein cooking on the stove, Sarah started searching through the cabinets. Joel had just come downstairs, still buckling his belt.

“Where’s the pancake mix?” Sarah asked her dad.

Still groggy, Joel scrunched his brows. “Oh, I was-” he’d forgotten the trip to the store he was supposed to take the night before, “Yeah, I was. Sorry.”

“I was gonna make you birthday pancakes,” his daughter complained, marching to the fridge and muttering to herself, “I swear…”

Joel ignored the smell of the food cooking and headed straight for the coffee pot, “You know, I don’t really like pancakes.”

“I know you don’t,” Sarah replied, pouring a glass of orange juice, “It was for my and Y/n’s benefit.”

“We’ll survive,” Y/n said, working on the eggs while Sarah was away, “Though pancakes are a weird thing to not like.”

Joel bristled at his girlfriend’s remark, turning around and facing Sarah with the glass of juice extended towards him.

“Vitamin C,” she explained.

For as much as Joel took care of his daughter, the roles were beginning to shift the older they both got. Sarah could spot his bad habits and tried to fix them wherever she could, the biggest one being his lack of actual nutrition. The man existed on coffee.

Joel took the glass from her, setting his mug down and humoring Sarah with a sip.

Y/n chuckled as she watched his expression turn sour, “Look more enthusiastic. I dare you.”

Joel grimaced, proceeding to pick up the coffee as soon as Sarah was back at the stove.

“You get your, uh, homework done?” Joel asked Sarah, waiting for her smile when she turned around, “Fractions?”

Sarah laughed, it was fact not only that she was ahead of her classmates, but Y/n was her tutor when it came to math. Joel wanted nothing to do with the subject.

Y/n and Sarah plated the feast and the three of them sat down at the table, as they did most mornings. Between Y/n and Joel’s work schedules and Sarah’s extracurriculars, it was the only guaranteed time they had each day to spend together.

“How old are you again?” Sarah asked her dad.

“Thirty-six,” Joel answered with a mouthful of egg.

“Gonna have to start wearing diapers soon,” Sarah joked, her tone remaining remarkably even.

”Who says I don’t already?” Joel replied, it wasn’t hard to track where Sarah’d gotten her humor from. He proceeded to pick something out of his teeth, looking to his daughter, “Shell.”

“Calcium,” she said, grinning wide with a mouthful of eggs on display.

“Lovely,” Joel muttered, looking over at Y/n as she laughed, “You’re encouragin’ bad table manners.”

Y/n shrugged and held her coffee mug to her lips, ”I see it as supporting a potential future as a comedian.”

The truck engine in the driveway signaled that Tommy was there to pick his brother and Y/n up for the day.

“Is there enough for Uncle Tommy?” Joel asked Sarah.

“There would’ve been,” Sarah grumbled into her plate, still bitter about the lack of pancakes.

“I can whip him up something, if we’ve got time,” Y/n offered.

Joel shook his head, “Nah, we gotta get going.”

Tommy entered through the garage door, the most carefree of them all. “Ay,” he clasped Joel’s shoulder, “You’re still alive, you old fucker.”

“Language,” Y/n chastised, she’d been trying for months to curb Tommy’s soldier’s mouth around Sarah. It wasn’t working.

“Aw,” Sarah cooed to Joel, “He loves you.”

“He’s dependent on me,” Joel watched his brother begin to raid his kitchen, “Not the same.”

Sarah shrugged, “I think it’s the same.”

“It’s definitely the same,” Tommy said, examining the countertops for food, “I thought we was havin’ pancakes.”

“The age started to take his memory last night,” Y/n’s tone turned serious as she pressed a hand to Joel’s bicep, “We’re meeting him where he is.”

Joel’s smirk contradicted the glare he shot his girlfriend, letting her hand stay on his arm through the teasing. “We’ll pick you up somethin’ on the road,” he addressed Tommy, “Concrete guys gonna be there?”

“Yeah, they said maybe,” Tommy replied as he opened up the fridge.

“‘Maybe?’” Joel echoed, “We can’t frame until we pour. We’re not gettin’ paid until we frame.”

Tommy started sniffing through various leftovers, “Well, we could bring someone else on, get the job done faster.”

“No, no,” Joel shook his head and cut up another bite of eggs, “I’m not splittin’ this job, I barely wanna split it with you. We could work a double.”

Sarah and Y/n both turned to him.

“Literally?” Sarah asked, “Today?”

“Joel, come on,” Y/n agreed, “Not today.”

“I know,” Joel was quick to remedy the moment, “I’d be done by nine,” he called to Tommy, “By nine, right?”

Sarah gazed across the table to Y/n, the two of them sharing a disbelieving look.

“I’ll bring back a cake,” Joel looked between the girls, “I promise.”

Y/n sighed, holding her coffee cup to her chest. Joel had been pulling double shifts more and more recently. She’d been meaning to talk to him about it, how she and Sarah had been missing him, but she was in no position to stop him from working. Money was tight and contract work was never a sure thing.

A news broadcast broke up the top 40 station Sarah had turned the radio on to while cooking. “Continued disturbances in Jakarta…” the voice announced, the clinking of silverware against plates breaking it up, “But are advising U.S. citizens-“

“Jakarta?” Joel repeated, “Where is that? Middle East?”

“Doesn’t ring a bell,” Tommy shook his head, holding a coffee cup, “It’s definitely a country. Or maybe a part of Asia?”

Y/n smiled and tilted her head at Sarah, who was already prepared to answer.

“Jakarta isn’t a country,” she interjected, “Being a part of Asia isn’t mutually exclusive with being a country and in fact, it’s the capital of Indonesia.”

“That’s my girl,” Y/n said proudly.

“Shit,” Tommy grinned, “Hope for us yet.”

Joel took a final sip of his coffee before slapping his hand against his bare wrist, still expecting his broken watch to be there. He, instead, dug into his pocket checked the time on his cell phone.

“All right,” he announced to his daughter, collecting his and Y/n’s plates, “Finish up quick. We’ll drop you off.”

“I’m still eating my eggshells,” Sarah said.

“You got seven minutes,” Joel replied, dumping the dishes in the sink for later.

“Your t-shirt’s inside out.”

Joel looked down, deflated at the trip he now had to make back upstairs, “Shit.”

Sarah waited till he was out of the room and cocked a suspicious eyebrow at Y/n.

“Pop that thing down, missy,” Y/n pointed downwards, “Your dad just pays shockingly little attention for someone who works with power tools.”

Tommy smiled over the wings he’d taken for himself, “He’s losin’ it.”

Y/n laughed and nudged Sarah’s leg, “C’mon, finish up.”

Sarah scooped the last bite of egg into her mouth and handed her plate to Y/n, who brushed past Tommy on her way to the sink. She reversed a few steps to get a whiff of the chicken.

“Found the smell,” she called out to Sarah, patting Tommy’s shoulder, “I’m sure you’ll be fine.”

“Stomach of steel,” he replied, setting his plate on the edge of the sink and planting a kiss on Y/n’s cheek. The two of them had become as good as siblings.

Y/n climbed up the stairs and down the hall to Joel’s room. He emerged just as she approached, brushing his hand across her hip as they passed one another. As much as they both loved pouring out the fullness of their affection, the casual intimacies were their favorites.

Grabbing her keys and wallet off Joel’s dresser, Y/n peeked out the window and waited till she saw Joel outside with Tommy. “Sarah,” she called down the hall.

Sarah tiptoed her way in, just to be safe, “Good?”

“Yep,” Y/n nodded.

Sarah found the assigned drawer, digging through Joel’s possessions to pull out his broken watch. She’d developed the plan to fix it as a birthday present last month and had gotten Y/n in on it.

“You’ve got the money?” Sarah checked.

Y/n flipped through the bills in her wallet, “Should be enough.”

Sarah thumbed through Joel’s cash and pulled out a few extra, smiling mischievously, “Now we can be sure.”

“Sarah! Y/n!” Joel called from the truck, Tommy was honking the horn.

Slipping the watch into her backpack, Sarah and Y/n quickly left the bedroom and headed down the stairs. Y/n hung back to make sure the coffee pot and stove were off before exiting out the front door. From the porch, she could see Sarah was in conversation with Mr. Adler next door. Or rather, dodging conversation.

“Make ‘em happy,” Joel encouraged, passing Y/n to grab another load of tools.

“I could come by after school, but just for like, a little bit,” Sarah offered.

“She’ll take what you got,” Mr. Adler replied as he fed his elderly mother-in-law, “Y’all can bake or whatever. Speakin’ of,” the man held up a plate, “We got a lotta extra here, y’all want some biscuits?”

“Dad,” Sarah masterfully tossed the ball to Joel, “You love biscuits.”

“I do,” Joel replied cheerily, “But Y/n’s got me on Atkins.”

Y/n snorted, watching the exchange go down from the bed of the truck.

“On what now?” Mr. Adler asked.

“It’s uh-“ Joel stopped himself, “You know, we gotta run but Sarah’ll be by later. She’ll stay as long as you want,” he smiled genuinely to his neighbors and smugly to his daughter, “Tell you all about Atkins.”

“Great, I’ll let Connie know,” Mr. Adler called back as Joel took Y/n’s hand and led her around the truck, “Hey, Y/n, you’re invited too.”

She peeked over the truck’s flatbed, “I’ll be working, but I’ll come grab Sarah on my way home.”

“Thank you,” Sarah smiled at her dad’s girlfriend, glaring at her father himself, “Solid.”

Joel held the door open for them, smirking at Y/n. “Thirty minutes, then you can rescue her,” he instructed.

“I never suggested Atkins,” she replied, sliding into the backseat beside Sarah.

“Can’t tell you how exciting it was listenin’ to that fuckin’ conversation,” Tommy commented, his speech molding around the cigarette between his lips.

“Put that out,” Joel said, a second before Y/n could form the same words.

Tommy flicked the smoke out onto the driveway, “Happy birthday to you.”

The truck pulled out into the cul-de-sac, carrying each of them off to their separate days.

Once Sarah had been dropped off at school and Y/n at the hardware store, Joel and Tommy headed across town to their construction site.

“Y’all got plans for tonight?” Tommy asked as they rode.

“If I don’t bring a cake home, they’re gonna string me up,” Joel answered, “Other than that, nothin’.”

His brother chuckled, “Least they gang up on you together. I got a buddy who just brought his girl home, his kid can’t stand her.”

Joel wasn’t an idiot, he knew how lucky he was that his girlfriend and daughter got along. No, they did better than just get along. They were practically inseparable. He’d take as much shit as they could give him, so long as they did it together.

“When’re you gonna marry that girl?”

It wasn’t the first time Tommy had asked that question. It had been increasing in frequency over the last few months. After they’d passed their one year anniversary, it became a thought consuming more and more space in Joel’s mind. It had taken enough time to sort out his thoughts and fears on the subject of going into marriage again, but it had been something that week that had settled him on the matter.

Monday night, Y/n had dropped by after her shift to help Sarah with homework. Joel had been at work, but when he got home, he expected to see them waiting for him at the kitchen table. Finding only silence, he climbed the stairs and peeked into Sarah’s room. Y/n was sitting against the headboard of Sarah’s bed, the young girl tucked into her shoulder, the math homework spread across their laps.

In the seemingly meaningless display of affection, Joel saw so much more. He saw the rest of his life. He could finally give Sarah a crucial piece of happiness that she’d been deprived of. He could have the love he’d craved and denied himself for so many years. The three of them, a family.

He was going to ask Y/n to marry him that weekend.

“I was gonna head to that place in the mall tomorrow morning,” Joel replied, his fingers rubbing together in anticipation. The last few weeks of working double shifts would pay off if he could find the perfect ring.

“Oh, shit,” Tommy grinned, “You’re actually doin’ it.”

“No reason to wait,” he said, staring ahead as if he could see his bright future.

“Think she’ll say yes?” Tommy asked, practically bleeding from the daggers Joel shot at him. He heartily laughed, “You get Sarah’s blessin’?”

A small smile stretched across Joel’s lips, “I know I already got it. But yeah, I’m gonna show her the ring, ask her officially.”

“Girl’s not gonna say no,” Tommy replied, making a turn onto the street the construction site was on, “She’s as crazy about her as you are.”

Joel couldn’t see any reason why Sarah would reject Y/n, she liked her better than she did Joel half the time. But he’d still never make such a big decision without consulting his daughter.

“You fucker,” Tommy chuckled, smacking Joel’s chest, “Won the damn lottery.”

Joel smiled out the window, he knew it too.

——————

Y/n’s day went by as slow as possible. She kept moving around the hardware store, helping employee and customer alike with anything they needed. All she needed was to stay busy until 3PM when she’d clock out an hour early, pick Sarah up at the house and they’d head downtown to the watch repair shop.

She absentmindedly spinning down one of the aisles, passing Melinda, one of her co-workers.

“Head outta the clouds, kid,” she chuckled.

“I’m on the ground,” Y/n replied, doing another twirl, “I just need this fucking day to end.”

Melinda went back to hanging inventory, “You and Joel got big plans tonight?”

“I was gonna grill us up some steaks,” she shrugged, “Cake. He’ll get squirmy if Sarah and I spoil him too much.”

“I got a question,” Melinda rested her arm on a shelf, “And if it’s too personal, you tell me. I won’t care, but you can tell me.”

Y/n giggled, “Okay.”

“Are you two ever gonna get married?”

Y/n’s movements came to a stop in the middle of the aisle. She’d been thinking more and more about what it might look like to marry Joel. It wasn’t like she was daydreaming about meaningless details like what dress she’d wear or what color roses would serve as centerpieces. She thought about waking up in Joel’s arms every morning, cooking breakfast for Sarah, being there for every moment, big or small. That was what she cared about.

Joel had eventually opened up to her about his ex-wife and what her abandonment had done to both him and Sarah. Y/n knew it was a scar that was as healed as it could be. She would never rush Joel into making a decision about their future, but she’d have been lying if she’d said she didn’t want to eventually wear his ring on her finger.

“I’m not sure,” she answered honestly.

“Well, he needs to lock you down,” Melinda pointed towards Y/n with a hammer, “My cousin, came in last week, got one look at you, he’s been asking me for your number all week.”

Y/n laughed, “Ring or no ring, I’m locked down. This is it for me.”

The women turned their attention down the aisle to a man, taking sloppy steps down the aisle. It was barely two in the afternoon, a little early to already be drunk, but Texas took the rules of happy hour very loosely.

Melinda groaned, “Ugh, you want me to take him?”

“No, I got it,” Y/n put on her cheery voice and walked up to the customer, “Can I help you find any-“

The man spun to face her, snarling, and took a swing at Y/n. She jumped back just in time.

“What the f-“

Growling, he charged towards her again, this time using her shock against her and tackling her to the floor. Y/n screamed, shoving her hands against his chest in an effort to push him off of her.

“Fuck!” Melinda yelled, pulling at the guy’s legs, “Help! We need help!”

Y/n stared into the man’s eyes, they were glazed over entirely, filled with pure, animalistic rage. He snarled and bit at the air before wrapping his hand around her neck. She used all her strength to push him away, her breath stuck in her throat. He lunged to burrow his face where his hand lay, Y/n couldn’t get him off her, but she kept him from getting any closer.

The manager, Don, sprinted down the aisle with a few other guys and pulled the attacker off of Y/n. The man fought back, growling and clawing relentlessly at her. One of the employees dropped him on the ground and sat on him, ensuring he didn’t go anywhere.

Y/n scrambled to her feet, Don came to embrace her.

“You okay?”

She was fighting to catch her breath, “Yeah, I’m okay.”

“I’m callin’ the police,” Melinda announced, rushing off to the phone at the front desk.

“What happened?” Don asked, moving to hold Y/n’s arms.

“I-I don’t know,” she ran a hand through her hair, “He came down the aisle and just lunged at me. I-I just offered to help him.”

With the man still fighting to break out of his hold, making sounds that made him seem possessed, Don pulled Y/n out of the aisle.

“I’m sorry, Don,” Y/n apologized, her voice still trembling.

“You got nothin’ to be sorry for, sweetheart,” he quickly shook his head, “Men gotta learn they can’t go gettin’ rough on a woman just cause they’ve had a bad day.”

The police arrived within ten minutes, running down the aisle and cuffing the monstrous man. Y/n stayed far away from her attacker as he was dragged out of the store, residing between Melinda and Don. She’d been asked if she wanted to press charges, but she declined. She just wanted the whole thing to be over.

“Take off now,” Don offered after the officers left.

“No, I-I’m okay,” Y/n smoothed her apron down with shaking hands.

“Don’t even try,” Don shook his head, “Get on out of here.”

Y/n took the first breath she could actually feel, wasting no time in dashing back to the break room and grabbing her purse out of her locker. She wanted to be as far away from anything about the afternoon as she could. Plus, it would mean she could pick Sarah up straight from school instead of the Adlers.

“I’ll see you guys tomorrow,” Y/n bid her co-workers farewell on the way out.

Don rasied a hand alongside Melinda, “See ya tomorrow. Wish Joel a happy birthday from us!”

The mention of his name got a smile out of Y/n, “I will.”

With Joel and Tommy having dropped her off, she had to call a cab to take her back to her apartment. She held in her tears until the front door was locked and she knew she was safe.

Why hadn’t she fought back? Fought harder? She was great with her words, but she’d never been able to physically defend herself. In the world they lived in, it was becoming more and more necessary for a woman to be able to throw a punch. Y/n felt weak for not fighting for her safety with the ferocity that Joel or Tommy would have. It just wasn’t in her nature to be violent, even if her own life was on the line.

She managed to collect herself, drying her tears and heading back down to her car. She was determined to put the incident behind her and not let it ruin her day.

Y/n parked directly outside the front of the school so Sarah couldn’t miss her. She waited against the car door, tapping her heel against the asphalt until a barrage of kids came pouring out of the building. Sarah clocked her just before she headed for the bus.

“I thought you were picking me up at home,” she called across the street.

“My shift ended early,” Y/n explained, excluding the reason why.

Sarah opened the passenger side door and jumped in, “Can we grab ice cream or something after?”

“Nice try,” Y/n started up her car, “I’m dropping you off at the Adler’s after this.”

Sarah let her head fall against her seat, with a small groan.

“Half an hour and then there’ll be some big birthday emergency,” Y/n offered, turning onto the next street over, “Seatbelt.”

It was these small domestic moments that showed just how good of a parent Y/n would make. She still didn’t believe she was doing anything exceptional, but the smallest acts of care meant the most. Making sure Sarah walked on the inside of the street, making sure she’d eaten enough, helping her with homework…all of that equated to Sarah knowing she had someone else looking out for her.

They made it downtown to the jewelry-clock repair shop within minutes. Their part of Austin was small enough that everything was five minutes away.

The owner at the front counter examined Joel’s watch, “Twenty.”

“That’s it?” Sarah asked, surprised.

“Okay,” the man smiled, “Thirty.”

“My little negotiator,” Y/n looked down at Sarah, smirking, “Let’s stick with twenty.”

“It’s a spring,” he explained as Sarah pulled out the twenty she’d taken from Joel, “I’ll do it right now.”

Y/n put an arm around Sarah’s shoulders and tugged her into her side, the two of them absentmindedly hugging as they glanced around the store. Behind them, a line of police cars followed by a fire truck sped down the street. It pulled Y/n back to an hour before.

“All day, I swear,” a woman emerged from the shop’s back room, switching between speaking in English and Arabic, “We’re closing.”

“It’s 3:15,” the owner responded, “We close at 7.”

The woman anxiously stood at the window, staring down the street. She lapsed back into Arabic as she addressed her partner, before putting her hands on Y/n and Sarah’s arms, “I’m very sorry, he cannot finish.”

“I already finished,” the man replied, holding out the boxed watch to his wife.

She pressed the box into Y/n’s hands, “You should go home.”

“W-wait,” Y/n stuttered as the woman rushed them out of the shop, “Wh-“

“Go home,” the woman urged, staring into Y/n’s eyes with a desperation a child could never understand.

She shut the door on Y/n and Sarah, flipping the ‘open’ sign to ‘closed’ after and pulling the blinds.

“That was weird,” Sarah muttered.

“Yeah,” Y/n watched as the woman continued shutting the blinds in the windows.

Successful in their quest, Y/n and Sarah loaded themselves back in the car and headed home. On the way, they passed four more police cars and one more fire engine. Austin had its fair share of crime, especially downtown, but this was out of the ordinary.

“What do you think’s going on?” Sarah asked at one point.

“No idea,” Y/n answered, pulling them into the driveway of Joel’s home and unbuckling, “I’ll check the news. Go be a good person.”

“I’m timing you,” Sarah said firmly.

Y/n smiled, “Go.”

Sarah dragged herself and her backpack out of the car and trudged across the Adler’s lawn. Y/n watched her lovingly, she had the biggest heart of anyone she knew, it was just butting heads with teenage hormones.

Y/n let herself into the Miller’s house, her body relaxing as soon as the door shut. She kicked off her sneakers and headed for the living room, switching on the television. She changed the channel to the local news station, expecting to see a fire or mass shooting. All the anchors said was that there had been reports of heightened violence throughout the day and that citizens should avoid going downtown. That lined up with what Y/n had experienced at the store, apparently the city of Austin was acting like a collective asshole.

Satisfied, Y/n busied herself with laundry and taking care of the dishes from breakfast until she scanned the clock, seeing it was ten past the time she said she’d pick Sarah up at.

She went outside, crossed the shared lawn and knocked on the Adler’s front door. Connie was the one to open it.

“Well, there she is,” the woman exclaimed, “Come in!”

They entered into the hallway, which smelled like cookies and mothballs, and Y/n spotted Sarah sitting in the kitchen, bag packed and a barely concealed frown on her face.

“I’m sendin’ you two home with some cookies,” Connie said, bustling around the kitchen for a Ziploc, “They’re raisin.”

“Oh, yay,” Y/n feigned excitement, following her in and stroking a hand across Sarah’s hair, “Those’re Joel’s favorite.”

Sarah fought the laugh caught in her throat, Joel would’ve rather died than touch anything with raisins in it.

Connie handed Y/n the bag and took her other hand, “You tell him happy birthday from us.”

“We will,” Y/n smiled before they headed down the hall and to the door.

“Wait,” Sarah mumbled just as they were walking out. She stopped to see Mercy, the Adler’s dog, whining at Nana Adler, seated in her chair as usual.

“Dogs are super tuned into their owners,” Y/n explained, “Some studies suggest that they can sense if their person’s in pain.”

Sarah hummed and accepted the answer, exiting out the front door with Y/n. “You were late,” she stated.

“I was doing your laundry,” Y/n replied, dipping her hand along Sarah’s through a lawn sprinkler, “So I’d say we’re even.”

The sun was just setting, a warm pink taking over the sky as night’s opening act. Kids, home from school, were playfully screaming a few houses down. Everything felt perfectly in place.

An overhead thundering encroached on the peaceful scene, drawing Sarah and Y/n’s attention skyward. Three fighter jets in formation blew over their heads, flying in the general direction of downtown.

“Air Force base isn’t too far from here,” Y/n commented, it was the only explanation that made sense.

Sarah didn’t seem too concerned, cutting ahead across the lawn and up to the front porch.

Inside, Y/n busied herself with cooking dinner while Sarah sat at the table finishing up homework. The steaks she’d bought a few days prior had gone bad, and she was searching the fridge for anything she could turn into something special.

Pressing her forehead to the appliance’s cool steel, she admitted defeat.

“You know Dad’s not picky,” Sarah tried to comfort her.

“Yeah, well, I wanted to do something nice for him,” Y/n replied, kicking her foot lightly against the fridge, “But I suppose ordering Chinese is just as special.”

“We could always run by the store,” Sarah suggested.

“Mm-mm,” Y/n shook her head, digging through the takeout menu drawer, “No one’s going anywhere while there’s all those cops on the road.”

They ended up ordering enough for themselves, Joel and Tommy, if he decided to stay for dinner. As the night went on, the food grew cold, and by eight o’clock, Y/n and Sarah grew too hungry to wait and sat on the couch with their cartons.

“If he’s home by nine,” Sarah thought the next part of her sentence over carefully, “I’ll give you a whole week off of helping me with my homework.”

“Doesn’t feel like much of a win,” Y/n shrugged, picking at another piece of orange chicken. They were coming up with bets for when they thought Joel would actually return home, “I don’t mind being on homework duty.”

“Okay, fine, um…” Sarah continued drafting, snapping her chopsticks together, “I’ll do the dishes for a week. Every load.”

Y/n waved a chopstick at the girl, “Done. But if he’s home past nine, I will…get him to learn one of the Halican Drops’ songs,” she tilted her head, “That’s a win for you and will definitely cost me.”

Sarah laughed, “Deal.”

They spent the evening talking and watching tv, the later hours eventually tiring them. Sarah leaned up against Y/n, lost in a magazine while Y/n read a book she’d left on the coffee table. The television played lightly in the background, though they’d stopped paying attention long ago.

Eventually, five after ten, a pair of keys jingled in the front door lock, signaling Sarah had won the bet.

“You locked the door this time,” Joel said, addressing his daughter, “Good job.”

“Yeah,” Sarah switched off the tv and sat up, “Y/n reminded me.”

Y/n scooted over to give Joel a spot on the couch, he flopped down on the cushions, digging his palms into his eyes.

“It’s 10,” Sarah said what they were all thinking.

“I know,” Joel groaned, pulling back up to take off his boots, “They…gave us the wrong size for the headers,” he looked over his girlfriend to Sarah, “That doesn’t mean anything to you, barely means anything to Y/n. I’m sorry.”

Y/n’s fingers walked across Joel’s leg, “And dessert would be…?”

Joel slumped forward, “Shit.”

“Come on, man,” Sarah bemoaned.

“I’ll get us one tomorrow,” Joel promised for the second time that day.

“Swear,” Sarah replied, “Or you don’t get your present.”

Joel turned, brightening up adorably fast. “You got me a present?”

“Swear,” Sarah continued.

Y/n smiled, eyeing her boyfriend with the same loving frustration as Sarah.

“On my life,” Joel swore.

Deeming it an acceptable answer, Sarah rotated and dug behind a pillow. Joel slid his hand over Y/n’s, flattening it down against his knee.

Sarah presented the box, holding it out to her dad.

“Wow,” Joel said, making a theatrical face before opening it. He hadn’t expected what was inside.

“Fixed it for you,” Sarah beamed with reserved pride.

Joel ran a thumb over the watch and held it to his ear, furrowing his brows, “Did you?”

“What?” Sarah reached for his hand.

“I don’t hear anything,” Joel continued.

“It was working four hours ago,” Y/n exclaimed, adjusting herself to sit up and examine it for herself.

The two girls barely had to raise it to their ears before they could hear the strong ticking. Sarah groaned and lightly shoved Joel, who was heartily laughing.

Y/n rolled her eyes, “Screw you, man.”

“That was lame,” Sarah smiled, “You’re lame.”

“Yeah, I know,” Joel chuckled, taking another second to admire his gift, “Where’d you get the money for this?”

“Drugs,” Sarah answered, “I sell hardcore drugs.”

“It’s better than what I do,” Joel slipped the watch onto his wrist.

“It was only $20, which I stole from you.”

“Which I had,” Y/n interjected, “If you’d have given me two seconds...”

“I could have stolen $60, but I put the change back,” Sarah defended herself against Joel’s parental stare, “Because I’m an honest thief. Besides, it’s the thought that counts. And you were never gonna do it for yourself, so…”

Joel, never one to be selfish, looked on lovingly at his daughter and co-conspirator, before turning his head downward. “Thank you.”

Sarah smiled, looking to Y/n victoriously. “Oh, there’s one more,” she dug behind the pillow once again and retrieved a DVD case, “Borrowed it from the Adlers.”

Joel wasted no time in taking it from her, it was Curtis and Viper, the guiltiest of all guilty pleasure movies. “Oh, this is the one with the deleted scenes.”

“Yeah, imagine how bad those have to be,” Sarah commented, “Come on, pop it in, while it’s still your birthday.”

Y/n got up alongside Joel, “I’ll go heat up dinner and brace myself for the cinematic masterpiece I’m about to experience.”

“I showed it to you a while back,” Joel called out to her, “Remember?”

“I remember,” Y/n swung into the kitchen, “And yet I’m still with you.”

Joel smirked to himself, setting the disc in the tray and jogging off to join Y/n. “Chinese?”

“There was going to be something home cooked,” Y/n scooped some food onto a plate for Joel, “But the grocery gods were conspiring against me.”

“Kidding? This is great,” Joel replied, coming to hold Y/n’s hips and move around the kitchen with her. He settled his chin against her head, “Thank you. For all of it.”

Y/n leaned back into Joel’s chest, “I don’t see how crappy Chinese food and aiding your daughter in thievery deserves thanks but,” she twisted her neck to plant a kiss on his cheek, “I’ll take it.”

Joel absentmindedly ran his hands up Y/n’s arms, gazing down at her skin. His eyes drifted to her exposed neck, the glow of the microwave illuminating a purple splotch across her throat.

“What’s this?”

Y/n was watching the timer, “Hm?”

Joel pulled back the rest of her hair and lightly ran a finger over the skin, “Where’d you get this?”

Y/n pulled away, confusedly grabbing a spatchula out of a drawer and relfecting it back on her. Sure enough, there was a large purple bruise developing where the psycho in the hardware store had choked her.

“Hm,” Y/n thought, she hadn’t intended to ruin the levity of the night, “Uh, are we sure you didn’t put that there?”

Joel bristled at the idea, even at his most passionate, he wasn’t rough like that, “I’d never do this to you.”

Y/n sighed, pressing the ‘stop’ button on the microwave before it could beep. She pulled Joel’s food out, set it down and leaned up against the counter.

“A guy attacked me today at work,” she said softly, not wanting Sarah to hear.

Joel’s eyebrows raised two inches, his voice got low, “What?”

“He came down the aisle and just,” Y/n gestured suddenly to herself, “Tackled me to the ground. It took three of the guys, plus Don just to get him off of me.”

Joel surged forward, hovering his hand over Y/n’s neck and examining her, “How bad is it?”

“I’m okay,” Y/n gently took Joel’s hand, bringing it down to his side, “Headache from smacking my head on the floor, little sore, but fine.”

“Please tell me you called the police and pressed charges” Joel asked, fully in protector mode.

Y/n shook her head, “I didn’t wanna drag it out, I just wanted the whole thing to be over. The cops took him, they can deal with it.”

Joel braced himself against the counter to Y/n’s side, halfway-caging her in. “And you weren’t gonna tell me about it?”

“It’s your birthday,” Y/n smiled softly up at her boyfriend, “I just wanted to come home and have a normal evening with you guys. Forget it ever happened.”

Anger swelled in Joel’s stomach for whatever freak had gone after her, but his gaze stayed soft. Her pain was his pain.

“Wanna know what the worst part was?” Y/n asked, looping a finger through Joel’s and smiling sadly, “I could have fought back…but I just laid there. I tried to push him off but…”

There was no need for her to finish the sentence. Joel’s mind flashed back to the night they’d met, when that creep had laid his hand on her and she hadn’t fought back. It was one of his deepest worries, that one day someone would come at her and he wouldn’t be there to protect her.

“Can you please,” he begged, “Enroll in a self-defense class?”

“Yes,” Y/n agreed, saying whatever she could to get the night to return to normal, “I think there’s one down at the community center.”

Joel’s shoulders rose and fell with his sigh, cupping the back of her neck and drawing her into his body. She wrapped her arms around his middle, digging her face into his pec.

“I hate the world sometimes,” Joel said over her shoulder.

Y/n scoffed, “You and me both, bucko.”

They stood in each other’s arms a moment, letting the stress of the day melt away.

“Your daughter’s waiting,” Y/n smiled into Joel’s chest, “And she’s been waiting all night.”

Joel broke from her, stroking a thumb over her cheek. He was looking forward to revealing the reason for his late night hours.

With dinner in hand, Joel and Y/n headed back into the living room, where Sarah was waiting with the remote. Joel settled down in the middle of the couch, giving him room to be surrounded by his two favorite people.

“Don’t fall asleep,” he warned, as Sarah snuggled into his shoulder.

“‘Course I won’t,” she said, “It’s too riveting.”

“I make no such promises,” Y/n replied, hanging one of her legs on Joel’s knee.

Both of them were out cold within an hour.

Joel couldn’t complain even if he tried. With Sarah passed out on his leg Y/n tucked under his arm, it was the happiest he’d been the whole day.

While watching the movie, Joel’s mind kept spinning around proposal ideas. If he got the ring in the morning, he could do it that night. Or did he need to spend more time, crafting some elaborate idea involving doves and roses and all the movie shit? Y/n wasn’t fancy, she probably wouldn’t care if that was missing. All he cared about was that she said ‘yes’ and that the ring was something she could cherish the rest of their lives.

Joel gazed down at his daughter and soon-to-be fiancé, fast asleep on him. A lifetime of that was a thought he could get used to…

The vibration of his cell phone broke Joel out of his daydream. He reached forward, trying not to wake either girl, bur Y/n stirred enough to come to.

“Sorry,” he whispered, picking up the call, “Hello?”

“Joel, it’s me,” Tommy’s voice cut through, Y/n’s head was close enough to hear the call, “Uh, I’m okay.”

“Yeah?” Joel asked.

“But I’m in jail.”

Y/n sat up groggily as Joel arched back into the couch, rubbing his eyes in stress.

“Wasn’t my fault this time,” Tommy was quick to defend himself, “I was at the bar, some guy goes crazy, starts swingin’ at waitresses, I stepped in, knocked him out, cops showed up-”

Joel and Y/n shared an exhausted look, both from true tiredness and Tommy.

“Look, it doesn’t matter,” Tommy hurried, “You gotta bail me out.”

“Now?” Joel hissed.

“It’s Friday,” Tommy said, “You don’t get me out, I’m in here all weekend. It’s a fuckin’ madhouse, Joel. I gotta get out.”

Y/n rubbed the sleep out of her eye, and lowered her voice, “I’ll go get him.”

Joel’s hand shot out across Y/n’s legs, “No,” he switched conversations, “Well, which jail. Travis County?”

“Yeah, on 10th,” his little brother answered.

“Damn it, Tommy,” Joel shook his head.

Tommy took a breath, “I’m sorry…please.”

Joel waited before answering, “Okay,” he hung up his cell, “Fuckin’ idiot.”

“Joel, just let me go,” Y/n offered, gesturing to Sarah using his leg as a pillow, “You got him last time.”

“I don’t want you out this late,” Joel shot down the idea a second time, “Especially in that part of town. I’ll be back, hour tops.”

Carefully, Joel eased Sarah off of him and lifted her into his arms. He carried her upstairs to bed while Y/n stayed on the couch, trying to get her bearings.

Joel came back downstairs, grumbling to himself as he collected his wallet and keys.

“We do all this,” Y/n gestured to the empty dinner plate and gift box, “And Tommy’s still gotta one up us.”

“Yeah, well,” Joel muttered, throwing his cell phone in his pocket, “I shoulda just left him in there.”

Y/n looked up amusedly at her boyfriend, “Yeah, like you’d ever do that.”

Joel’s instinct was to protect, he couldn’t have left his brother to rot for the weekend if he tried.

Y/n got to her feet and slid a hand up Joel’s chest, bringing his restlessness to a halt. She wrapped her other hand around the base of his neck, rubbing at the permanently tense muscles.

“Happy Birthday to you,” she sleepily smiled.

Joel leaned forward to connect his lips to Y/n’s. In an ideal world, he’d carry her upstairs and they’d fall asleep in each other’s arms. But after rescuing Tommy, they’d have the whole weekend for that. Still, he poured as much love as he could into his kiss.

Neither of them knew it would be the last one they shared.

“Be safe,” Y/n told him once they broke apart.

“I will,” Joel replied, heading for the front door, “Go to bed. Be back soon.”

Y/n nodded, her eyes following him till he was out of the house. In her stupor, she wasn’t thinking of how packed the streets had been earlier in the day with cop cars. Or how the news had said there’d been increased violence in the city. Or how the story Tommy had recounted sounded eerily similar to hers. She was just tired enough that all that made sense to her was climbing into Joel’s bed and going back to sleep.

Slowly climbing the staircase, Y/n made her way down the hall. She paused outside of Sarah’s room, poking her head in to make sure she was settled. Joel had thrown a blanket over her and she was rolling over. Satisfied, Y/n pushed off of the door frame to leave.

“Mom?”

She froze in her tracks, she’d barely moved out of sight before Sarah had called for…someone. Not her. It couldn’t be her. But who else? She had no memory of her birth mo-

“Mom?”

Y/n’s chest fluttered, it could only be her. She hesitated to answer, “Yeah?”

“Where’s Dad?” Sarah asked, her eyes were still scrunched but she was looking to Y/n’s silhouette.

“He had to run by Uncle Tommy’s,” Y/n answered, saving the full answer for the morning, “He’ll be back soon.”

Sarah seemed to accept the response, nodding a little and settling back into her pillow.

“Goodnight,” Y/n wished, her hands awkwardly fidgeting against her chest.

“Night,” Sarah mumbled.

Slipping against the nearest wall, Y/n’s breath trembled with joy, shock…she couldn’t tell. Sarah had made up her mind as to what Y/n was to her…and what she was was a mother.

Feeling like she was floating, Y/n made her way down the hall to the bed that was as good as her own and slid underneath the sheets. Her smile stretched so wide, she thought her cheeks might split. She couldn’t wait to tell Joel when he got home….

—————————

First came the sirens.

Then came the choppers.

Then the car alarms.

And the flares.

Y/n was the first to wake, the sound of helicopter blades and the sensation of the house rattling waking her. She reached over in the dark for Joel and grasped air. The clock read 2:15AM, he’d left at 11.

That was enough to wake Y/n the rest of the way up.

She rolled out of bed and went to the window, peeking through the blinds to see flares being shot into the sky. Though her vision was blurred from sleep, she could see the smoke cloud in the distance. It was coming from downtown.

“Dad?” Sarah called down the hall, “Y/n?”

“In here,” Y/n said, still watching the sky as another round of helicopters flew over their neighborhood.

Sarah came through the door, “What’s going on?”

“I don’t know,” Y/n answered, her stomach twisting in confusion, “Go check if your dad’s downstairs.”

Sarah left, calling for Joel as she descended the staircase. “He’s not here,” she yelled up.

Y/n’s chest sank, anxiety beginning to creep its way up her throat. Was this some kind of invasion? It had barely been two years since 9/11, was something of that scale happening in their backyard?

“Y/n!”

The urgency in Sarah’s voice got Y/n moving out the bedroom and down the stairs as quick as she could. “What is it?”

Sarah had switched on the tv, the emergency broadcast signal was on every channel, delivering an ominous message to stay indoors and wait for law enforcement.

A thud against the window had Y/n pulling Sarah to her chest, the girl wrapping her hands around Y/n’s wrists. Mercy, the Adler’s dog, had his paws against the window and was trying to get inside.

“Stay here,” Y/n told Sarah, heading to unlock the front door. She crouched down on the porch and the dog leaned against her legs, whining. “Shh, Mercy, shh…”

“Is he okay?” Sarah asked, right behind Y/n.

“I think,” Y/n answered, clueless as Mercy panted furiously under her touch. She looked across the street, finding nothing out of the ordinary visually. Audibly, there were car alarms coming from all directions and the chopper was making another circle around the subdivision. Something felt very, very wrong.

“Stay here,” Y/n told Sarah, “I’m gonna take a look around.”

“No, I’m coming with-“

“No,” Y/n’s tone firmed up, “Take Mercy inside and stay-“

Mercy started barking as if he knew he was being discussed. Y/n knew nothing she said would get Sarah to listen, she was out of options.

“Let’s get him back home,” she said.

Sarah led Mercy by the collar across the lawn and onto the Adler’s driveway. Once he realized he was back at his house, Mercy began to whine and pull away from Sarah.

“C’mon, Mercy, please,” Sarah begged.

Mercy pulled one final time, the collar unclipping and letting him loose. He took off into the night.

“Mercy!” Sarah called, he was too far gone to hear her.

“It’s okay,” Y/n quickly tried to smooth Sarah’s heartbreak over, “We’ll find him. But first, we’re going home and-“

Clanking from inside the Adler’s home drew their attention.

“Mrs. Adler?” Sarah called, receiving no answer, she looked to Y/n to decide their next move.

Y/n was torn between following the noise and running back home to call Joel.

“Stay behind me,” she decided, placing herself in front of Sarah as a barricade.

They crept up the Adler’s porch, letting themselves in through the ajar door. The carpet runner was scrunched up, something the meticulous Connie would have never allowed.

“Connie?” Y/n announced their presence.

“Mrs. Adler?” Sarah repeated, the two of them frozen in the hallway.

Another loud sound from the kitchen, followed by a distant gunshot and chased by a car alarm.

Y/n tried to inhale steadily, but the trembling came anyway. The long stretches of silence broken up by what sounded like war were creating a steady pit of fear in her chest.

She reached backwards, pulling Sarah closer to her body. The girl was already holding onto Y/n’s hips. They took soft steps through the hall and to the kitchen.

“Con-“ Y/n held on to the room divider as she stumbled, looking down to see the slippery substance across the floor.

Blood.

Sarah and Y/n’s breaths caught in their chests as their eyes followed the trail of crimson through the kitchen…to Mr. Adler, laid against the cabinets.

“Help me,” he whispered, a particularly gory wound to his neck oozing blood down his body.

Y/n moved to help him but was yanked back by Sarah, who already had eyes on the next terror.

Nana Adler was hung over her daughter, her face burrowed into her neck.

Y/n eased Sarah back, making no sudden movements, as the elderly woman slowly looked up to them. There were strands of something springing from her mouth, it was something out of a horror movie.

Nana rose to her feet, her movements choppy and careless, and Sarah wrapped her arms around Y/n’s torso.

The woman, animalistic, shrieked and ran towards them.

Y/n shoved Sarah back towards the door, racing out of the house and onto the lawn. She was pulling the girl toward their house when the roar of a pickup truck came barreling down the street.

Tommy’s truck.

Tommy pulled the truck up onto the curb, Joel jumped out before it had even stopped.

“GET IN THE TRUCK,” he yelled at Y/n and Sarah, “RIGHT NOW!”

With Sarah in her hands, Joel grabbed Y/n and pulled them to the vehicle, “Move!”

Nana Adler came screaming out of the house, Y/n and the Millers watching the bones in her body violently crack under her skin before she fell to the ground. They waited in anticipation until she startled back to life with a gasp, stumbling to her feet and charging towards the family.

“What are we doin’, Joel?” Tommy yelled, his rifle pointed at the grandmother.

Y/n wrapped Sarah in her arms, shielding her body from any harm, but not her eyes.

Joel wasted no time in making the decision, it was either her, or the women he loved. He slashed the wrench he was clutching into Nana’s head, the life leaving her as she dropped.

After, he turned to Y/n and Sarah, their tearful eyes widened in horror. He rushed to them, bending to cup Sarah’s cheek.

“You killed her,” the girl said, unable to form a deeper thought.

Joel pulled his daughter and partner into his arms, “Baby, I’m sorry.”

“Joel, we gotta go,” Tommy warned.

“Joel,” Y/n shook, “What’s going on?”

“Listen to me,” he looked to both his girls, “It’s not just the Adlers,” he took Sarah’s cheeks into his hands, “But we’re gonna be brave, and we’re gonna get out of this.”

A flash of green to their left and Joel was covering them with his arms. The transformer at the end of the block had exploded.

“Hey,” Tommy rounded the truck, “Let’s go. C’mon!”

Joel and Y/n hurried Sarah in front of them, “Get in.”

Y/n stopped before joining her, gripping Joel’s arm, “Joel…”

“I don’t know,” he shook his head, posessing no more answers than she did, “I don’t know.”

Y/n dove into the truck, pulling Sarah into her arms the minute she was seated.

Joel slammed the door shut, his neighbor calling his name out in concern.

“Denise, you get back inside the house,” he yelled, “You lock your doors! Now!”

“C’mon, c’mon, get in,” Tommy urged.

The second Joel’s door shut, Tommy was already pulling them around the cul-de-sac. As he rounded the turn, Mr. and Mrs. Adler came across their lawn and into the street, in the same possessed state as Nana had been.

“Get your seatbelt on,” Joel told Tommy.

“Hold on,” his brother said, accelerating the engine and ramming into the Adlers head on.

Y/n tried to pull Sarah’s head into her shoulder, but the girl was too quick, already looking out the back to see Mrs. Adler on her feet.

“You take 70-“ Joel began to give directions.

“71,” Tommy finished, “I know.”

A line of police cars blew down the opposite lane, speeding towards more chaos they didn’t even understand.

Sarah’s breath had steadied enough where she could speak clearly, “Daddy-“

“We don’t know,” Joel cut her off.

“They’re saying it’s a virus,” Tommy explained, “Some kinda parasite.”

“What parasite does that?” Y/n asked, knowing none of them had an answer.

“Is it from terrorists?” Sarah asked, her voice getting watery.

“We don’t know,” Joel repeated himself, watching his brother as he drove.

“A-are we sick?” Sarah’s panic was growing.

“No, we’re not sick,” Y/n answered immediately.

Joel fiddled with the radio, getting static back in return.

“Why did things blow up?” Sarah asked.

“No cellphone, no radio,” Tommy mused, “Minute ago, newsman wouldn’t shut up.”

“They were broadcasting emergency signals on the tv,” Y/n recalled, as if it made any difference now.

“How do you know?” Sarah kept up her questioning.

“What?” Joel acknowledged her.

Sarah couldn’t hide her tears any more, “How do you know we’re not sick?”

Y/n stroked her hair, offering what little comfort she could while also sharing Sarah’s terror.

“They’re sayin’ it’s mostly people in the city,” Tommy explained, “That’s why they got the highway blocked off.”

Joel craned his head to meet Y/n’s eyes, “This what happened at the store today?”

“Yeah,” Y/n answered, flashing back to 12 hours before. Her attacker hadn’t had the strange strands hanging from his mouth, but he’d had the same animal-like rage.

The car fell silent again as they passed a house, the whole structure consumed by flames.

“It’s Jimmy’s place,” Tommy said as they drove by.

“The Adlers would take Nana into the city,” Sarah continued to try and solve the puzzle, “To the hospital for stuff.”

“That’s right,” Joel agreed, “They would. That’s probably why.”

“But…” Sarah’s brain worked double time, “You’d have to go a lot…right?”

Tommy shook his head slightly, “We’re fine, trust me.”

Through the dashboard mirror, Y/n’s worried eyes met Tommy’s. He was saying a prayer rather than stating a promise.

On the side of the road, a car was pulled over, a family standing outside it waving their hands wildly. “Here! Right here!”

Tommy began to slow down, drawing Joel’s confusion. “What’re you doin’?”

“They got a kid, Joel,” Tommy gestured to the family.

“So do we,” Joel said firmly, “Keep drivin’.”

The father panicked as Tommy followed orders, screaming for them to stop.

“We could put them in the back,” Sarah offered just as they passed them by.

Y/n’s heart sank as the father’s cries echoed in her ears, her eyes drifting to the back of Joel’s head.

“Somebody else’ll come along,” he said to the car, but mostly to himself.

Sarah, trying so hard to remain calm, let her tears fall silently. Whatever shred of reality they could make of the chaos around them was starting to sink in on Y/n too. She pulled Sarah deeper into her arms, feeling the girl’s sadness land on her skin.

Tommy sped down the lane, trying to get on the freeway, and meeting the sea of likeminded cars.

“Fuck,” he exclaimed, “Everyone had the same fuckin’ idea.

Panicked drivers were speeding towards them, the little white lines on the asphalt ceasing to matter.

“I can’t get through this,” Tommy said, dodging the cars.

“All right, all right,” Joel tried to remain calm, “Let’s think it through, we’ll think it through.”

“Tommy!” Y/n cried as another reckless driver nearly clipped them.

“All right, take the field,” Joel directed, “We’ll cut across and pick up on the-the west side.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,” Tommy’s breath shook, “West, west, all right. All right, hang on.”

Sarah held onto Y/n a little tighter, bracing herself as Tommy went off road into the tall grass. The truck dipped and bounced with the land, until they met smooth dirt…giving them a view of the freeway. The military had already set up shop.

“Shit,” Tommy exclaimed, “Fuckin’ army!”

“Isn’t that good?” Sarah asked

“It’s good for them” Tommy said, “But that’s the highway we’re tryin’ to get to.”

Joel’s brain was spinning with roads, “All right, keep movin’. Head north.”

“Could be a lot of people,” Tommy pointed out.

“Well, we can’t go south, we can’t go east, we can’t go west,” Joel replied, “Hell else we supposed to go?”

Tommy hesitated, his hands nervously gripping the wheel.

“Tommy, come on,” Joel yelled, his own anxiety beginning to show itself.

Listening, Tommy turned the truck north, leading them towards the distant light of a small town.

“Yeah. Yeah, I know that place,” Joel said, “This can work.”

“Joel,” Y/n spoke up, “What then? Where are we going?”

He didn’t know, he barely could remember the numbers of the highways. All he knew was he needed to get his family to some sort of safety. “I don’t know, Mexico,” he blurted out, “Just far, far as we can,” he looked to his brother, “How much gas?”

“Three quarter tank,” Tommy answered, it was enough to make it to the border.

“Go through town,” Joel began to list off directions, “Golf course by the river, straight across, we pick up the highway on the other side of the blockade…” he exhaled, “Then we’re out.”

“Maybe it’s everywhere,” Sarah theorized, trying so desperately to make sense of what was happening, “Maybe there’s nowhere to go.”

Joel and Yn’s worried eyes met in the dashboard mirror, they were both wondering the same thing. Illnesses didn’t stay quarantined to just one city in one state, they spread like vines, reaching for any life they could. What if this parasite worked the same way?

A loud roar began to encroach on the truck from above.

“What the fuck?” Tommy exclaimed.

Sarah and Y/n shielded their ears from the noise, looking up through the roof’s glass top to catch a low-flying plane directly above them. There were a line of three more trailing the sky behind them.

“Shit,” Y/n whispered, her facade for Sarah was fading.

Down the road, the red white and blue lights of a police car became a stumbling block. “Son of a bitch,” Tommy complained, “Gotta go around. Grab somethin’!”

Joel reached an arm back, both to brace himself against Tommy’s seat and give Y/n something to hold onto. Sarah held fast to Y/n as Tommy made a hard right down the next street. The town they’d turned into had descended fully into chaos, its residents running wildly through the streets, either screaming for help or attacking one other.

“All right,” Joel talked his brother through the roads, “Keep goin’, keep goin’,” he looked to his left to see a truck barreling towards them, “Shit, Tommy!”

The tire screech had Y/n flipping Sarah’s body over hers, making herself a human shield. Thankfully, the crash never came.

The next street Tommy turned them down was even worse. People were beating each other senselessly in the street, the screams of the wounded piercing their ears.

“Tommy, you can’t stop here,” Joel said as his brother slowed the car.

He gestured to the crowds, “I can’t drive through ‘em.”

“Are you serious?” Joel yelled, “Just keep goin’!”

Up ahead, an explosion shattered the windows of a building, eliciting every person inside to run for their lives, all headed towards the truck.

“Go, go, go,” Joel urged, smacking the dashboard a little harder with each utterance, “Back, back, back, back, back, back, back!”

“I’m tryin’!” Tommy yelled back.

Y/n caught the faces of people as they ran past, the terror, the confusion in their eyes. One woman had blood streaming down her chest, the deep red turning her white blouse deathly crimson.

“Tommy, go faster,” Joel berated, “We gotta go!”

“I’m tryin’, there’s nowhere to fuckin’ go,” Tommy said, maneuvering them backwards.

“Tommy,” Y/n couldn’t stay quiet, “Fuck, anywhere!”

“Find an alley!” Joel added.

“What alley?! There’s people everywhere!”

“Roll the fuck over them,” Joel ordered, “We gotta get off this street.”

Sarah had shifted out of Y/n’s arms and was staring out the back, watching as the humanity was sucked out of her city. In the sky, she could spot bright, blinking lights headed straight for them.

She blindly reached for Y/n’s hand, “Dad?!”

Y/n and Joel both turned, their eyes falling on the same sight. One of the planes was headed straight towards them.

“Fuck,” Y/n uttered breathlessly.

“Move…” Joel managed to say, “Move!”

The plane completed its nosedive into the road behind them, exploding in a fiery inferno. Joel reached back to grab hold of Sarah, Y/n shoved her down into her lap.

None of them saw the piece of debris heading for the truck.

—————————

Joel was the first one to wake up. He struggled out of his seatbelt, dropping to the roof of the flipped truck and looking into the back.

Y/n and Sarah were out cold.

Sarah’s leg was elevated, her foot caught in some part of the truck. Y/n lay in a terrifyingly still ball.

“Sarah…Sarah…” Joel weakly called, tugging on her free leg and startling her awake, “Stay right there. Don’t move,” he looked to Y/n, “Y/n, wake up.”

No response.

“Rosebud,” Joel urged, his voice betraying him and turning to a whine, “Honey, get up.”

“Y/n,” Sarah disobeyed her father, fear-stricken, and stretched her arm out to shake Y/n.

Y/n gasped, waking up the same way she’d passed out; panicked.

“Joel,” she cried out, “Sarah?”

“We’re here,” Joel reassured her, a hand to her arm, “We’re here. Tommy? You okay?”

Tommy grunted, trying to free himself, “Yeah, I’m okay.”

With a pounding headache, and the feeling of air hitting small cuts across her face, Y/n struggled to her knees. Nothing felt broken inside her, just weak.

Sarah’s breathing began to pick up, turning her body to stare out the busted window. Twenty feet away, someone was heaving over a body, draining it of blood the same way Nana Adler had.

“Sarah,” Joel moved to the back of the truck, “Don’t look. You look at me or Y/n, okay?”

Y/n was at Joel’s side instantly, gently holding Sarah’s calf so he could free her leg. The girl winced as Joel worked.

“I’m sorry, baby, I know, I know,” he apologized profusely, letting her leg drop into Y/n’s hands.

“Come here,” he urged his daughter, “Put your arms around me. Come here, come here,” he pulled Sarah into his embrace, “I got you.”

Y/n was crawling past, into the driver’s half of the truck, “Tommy?”

Tommy was already out, kneeling down at the window, “Come on, take my hand!”

Straining to reach him, Y/n slapped her palms against his and he dragged her out. She could feel the glass scrape against her skin, trying to hold her cries in for Sarah’s sake.

Tommy and Y/n pulled each other to their feet, Tommy reaching for his rifle after. Joel and Sarah had made it out on the other side. Y/n rushed around the wreckage of the truck to reach them, grabbing them both, “What’s wrong?”

“My ankle,” Sarah strained.

“We gotta get off the street,” Tommy urged, a fast approaching siren sending him diving for the asphalt, “Shit!”

A police van slammed into their truck, creating a fire between the two vehicles. Joel and Y/n shielded Sarah from the flames, “Tommy?”

Y/n wrapped her arms around Sarah, trying to take some of the weight off her ankle and freeing Joel.

“Tommy!” Joel screamed again.

Separated by the two totaled bodies, the brothers found each other.

“Head to the river,” Tommy shouted, “I’ll find a way!”

Joel hesitated to leave his brother behind, regardless of his competency.

“Get ‘em out of here,” Tommy insisted, “Go, Joel!”

It was the mention of Y/n and Sarah that snapped him back, he immediately turned and bent down to Sarah’s eye level.

“We can’t leave him,” she argued.

“Joel-“ Y/n began.

“He’ll be fine,” Joel said, “Can you both run?”

“No,” Sarah said as Y/n nodded.

Joel bent over and swung his daughter into his arms.

“You keep your eyes on us,” Joel half demanded, half begged Sarah, “Okay?”

“Okay,” she breathed.

“And don’t look anywhere else,” he finished, his panicked gaze moving to Y/n, “Don’t let go.”

Y/n locked one arm around Joel’s shoulders, the other under Sarah’s legs, needing one hand on them both.

The three of them rushed through the street, lost as to how to get to the river. Joel stopped in fear when they found a grouping of bodies, groaning, writhing, devouring one another on the ground. He guided Sarah’s head back into his body, but she’d already seen too much.

One of the monsters popped up, eerily fast.

Y/n and Joel’s hearts collectively stopped, anxiety kick starting them to run for the back door of a building. They dove inside, Y/n running ahead to bang on the locked door.

“Move,” Joel cried, kicking down the wood and pulling them through it, “Get ahead!”

Y/n jumped in front of them, racing down the length of the diner. She could hear the frantic footsteps and growls of the monster chasing them.

Slamming her body into the second door, Y/n cleared the path for Joel, the two of them sprinting away from the encroaching death nipping at their heels. The monster snarled as it came after them, too quick for Y/n or Joel even at their fastest-

BANG!

A shotgun fire silenced the animalistic sounds, Joel spun around to see the creature laid out in the grass, blood spilling from its head.

“It’s okay, baby,” he assured Sarah, “You’re safe.”

Y/n’s hands dropped to Joel’s arm, resting her head against his shoulder in an effort to catch her breath.

“C’mon,” Joel urged, turning around for the way of the river.

A searchlight hit them.

“Don’t move,” a stern voice commanded, through the light, Y/n and Joel could make out it was a soldier.

“My daughter’s hurt,” Joel explained, “Her ankle.”

“Stop right there,” the soldier ordered, they’d barely moved in his direction.

Y/n and Sarah both trembled, in shock at the sight of the rifle pointed at them.

“Okay,” Joel backed down, taking them the slightest step back, “Easy now. We’re not sick!”

The soldier reached for his radio, reporting into it, “I got three civilians by the river, one of ‘em injured,” he waited for a response, “Ankle.”

“What about Uncle Tommy?” Sarah looked up to Joel.

“We’re gonna get you somewhere safe first,” Joel panted, “Then we’ll go back for him, okay?”

“Okay,” Sarah accepted.

Y/n rubbed a hand over Sarah’s uninjured leg. The horror still had yet to be named, but they were so close to asylum from it.

An impatient Joel took a step forward, earning another up and close look at the rifle’s barrel.

“Hey,” the soldier shouted, “No one told you to move.”

Y/n trembled against Joel’s arm as they waited, why was it taking so long?

“Yes sir,” the soldier said into his radio, his voice having shifted and making Y/n and Joel’s stomachs tighten.

The gun came back up.

“We’re not sick,” Joel echoed, knowing what was about to happen.

“W-w-wait,” Y/n’s lips began to shake, she held out a hand to the soldier, “We’re not sick.”

“Sir,” Joel urged again, his voice rising with every second of silence, “We are not sic-“

Bullets rained down on the three of them, the force of the lead sending them rolling down the hill.

Joel pushed himself off his stomach, a harsh light on him drawing him onto his back. The soldier was mere inches from him, his rifle trained on Joel’s chest.

“I’m sorry,” the man said, he almost sounded genuine.

“Please don’t,” Joel begged, raising his hands.

Y/n had rolled farther than Joel, already weak from the crash and now with a pain radiating in her side. One of the bullets had definitely grazed her. She was able to push up onto her arms, dragging her gaze across the dirt and spotting the position her boyfriend was in.

“JOEL!”

The soldier was thrown forward, a bullet from behind lodging in his chest. Joel looked up to see Tommy, marching forward with his rifle still trained on the dead soldier.

Joel hurried to sit up, running a hand his side, a bullet had scraped across the skin.

Y/n let out a breath as she watched Joel move, her eyes scanning around her for Sarah.

“Oh, God,” Tommy breathed.

Frantic breaths could be heard, closest to Y/n and furthest from Joel.

Y/n froze at the sight.

Then she was rising, racing to the spot.

Joel was right behind her. “No…” he mumbled, “Oh, no.”

Y/n made it to Sarah first, her breath catching in her throat as her eyes ran over her body. Her attempts at breath were wracking through her violently.

���No, no, no,” Joel shushed his daughter, pressing a hand to her neck, “Okay, you’re okay. You’re okay, move your hand, baby.”

“Sarah, move your hand,” Y/n rubbed the girl’s cheek, “We gotta take a look, babe.”

Sarah let her hand drop to her side, revealing the blood that covered her entire lower abdomen.

Joel felt his heart drop into his stomach.

Y/n felt her entire body lock up.

Joel was the first to move, slipping an arm under Sarah’s shoulders. She let out the most heartbreaking cry, pain flooding her body as she reached to push her father away.

“I know, baby, I know,” Joel agreed, “I know, I know, I know. I know it hurts.”

Sarah’s breaths came quicker, groans accompanying them as she strained to take in air.

“Eyes on me,” Y/n urged, taking her face into both palms and rubbing her thumbs across the skin, “Don’t look down. Look at me.”

Sarah struggled to move her lips, barely pressing them together and humming. She was trying to say something.

“Shh, shh,” Y/n tried to keep her calm, “It’s okay.”

“Come on, baby,” Joel soothed as he examined her wound, “You’re okay, you’re okay.”

Another wave of unbearable pain hit Sarah as Joel pressed down on her wound, trying to slow the bleeding.

“I know, I know, I know,” the panic finally reached Joel’s voice, “I know, baby. I know, I know. I know this hurts. You’re gonna be okay.”

Sarah’s breaths grew ragged.

“You’re okay,” Y/n fought back the relentless tears, keeping her hands on Sarah’s cheeks, “You’re okay. I promise. You’re okay.”

“All right, baby, baby, baby,” Joel tried to talk over and in between Sarah’s noises, “Listen to me, I gotta get you up, okay?”

Sarah shook her head, her eyes widened with terror she couldn’t physically put into words.

“Babe, we have to get you up, okay?” Y/n continued, “It’s gonna hurt like hell for a second, but it’ll be alright.”

“All right,” Joel couldn’t wait any longer, “You come on.”

Y/n moved around to help lift Sarah’s back, her and Joel working as a team to raise her. Sarah groaned and wept as they shifted her body.

“I know, baby,” Joel was on the verge of tears as Sarah strained to help herself up, gripping his neck. “I know, I know, I know,” his voice rose in fear, “I know, I know, I know.”

Joel turned to where he’d left his brother, “Tommy, help me!”

Tommy didn’t move, “Joel…”

Sarah’s body stopped shaking under Y/n’s hands, her chest went still.

“Sarah,” Y/n begged, “C’mon, babe.”

“C’mon, baby girl,” Joel whimpered, moving frantically to loop an arm around her, “I gotta get you up. Come on. Come on, we’ll get up.”

Rising on her knees, Y/n hung her head over Sarah’s. The girl’s eyes were blank, her lips were parted.

“Come on,” Joel sobbed, his pleas dropping off as reality began to invade his blind hope, “Come…please…”

It was too late.

Joel took Sarah fully into his arms, wrapping around her so tight, he thought he might be able to physically put her back together.

Any air Y/n still had in her chest left her body, her hands resting in midair as if she was still holding the child.

She crawled to Joel, covered in blood, rocking Sarah’s body and sobbing breathlessly over her shoulder.

It was real.

“Sa-“ Y/n whispered, tears starting to flood down her cheeks. Her voice dropped to a whimper, “Sarah.”

If the universe could grieve a human being, it was Sarah Miller’s passing that brought it to tears. No part of the Earth would be spared from the chaos that had claimed her. No corner of the planet would ever bloom and flourish as it had when she was alive. When she ascended, she took humanity and all of its beauty with her.

And the souls of the two people cradling her corpse, screaming into the night, went with her.

——————

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[dangermousie]

2023 End of Year Post - kdrama edition

Yes, we have a some of December left, and I want to check out Death's Game but whatever. I got time for this now and not sure if I will have later so here goes.

This is only going to cover kdramas that aired in 2023; if I watched it but it was made in a different year, it’s not on the list. This was an excellent kdrama year, the likes of which we hadn't had in a long time.

DRAMAS WATCHED

In order of liking from least to most as opposed to pure quality so pls don't come for me, fans of some popular dramas that are on my nope list. Also, I am including if I’ve seen enough to make up my mind; yes I realize that’s inaccurate, but that’s my list.

33. The Escape of the Seven - this is so aggressively stupid and mean that it feels like the makers are playing a practical joke seeing how much their audience will take. This has a season 2 coming, so the answer is a lot.

32. Behind Your Touch - the FL gets superpowers by touching people's and animals' butts. Yes, you read this right. Do I really need to add anything?

31. King the Land - yes, it was a hit. Yes, it stars popular actors. I HATED IT LIKE IT TOUCHED MY BUTT TO GET SUPERPOWERS!!! Plastic people in paint by the numbers story, with about as much genuineness or retability as a barbie aisle in walmart. I never expect much from Yoona so whatever, but to have LJH go from The Red Sleeve to this boggles the mind.

30. Mrs Durian - this is so dumb that I think I lost a few IQ points watching this, but its insanity becomes entertaining - I mean what kdrama can you name where a daughter in law declares her love and lust for her mother in law at a family dinner?

29. The Matchmakers - there is nothing offensive about this drama at all. But there is nothing in the least interesting either. If elevator music took drama shape, it would be this show.

28. Destined with You - sorry, Rowoon, I am still fond of you, but you are two for two in drama duds department this year. This is a drama where I loved ep 1, liked ep 2, was indifferent to 3 and...you get the point. Each ep was worse than the one before, and I bailed before I was dragged into a cosmic singularity.

27. Oasis - great first two episodes. Unfortunately it was not a two ep show. The performances are solid but the story is just not there - the effect is like a fancy chef making an amazing sauce to put on pig slop.

26. Boyhood - it's not you, it's me in action. I can see why people would like it but a 34-year old playing a high schooler in a Weak Hero Class 1 Slapstick Edition is no go for me.

25. Castaway Diva - it's so precious and kooky in the most annoying ways, with the most well-adjusted abused castaway in history. I like magic realism when done by Jorge Amado, but this ain't Amado.

24. Island - it had a good concept, good cast and fun visuals but the execution deserved one of ML's swords through the neck.

23. The Worst of Evil - if I wanted an American show, I'd watch one. Very solid performances though.

22. Song of the Bandits - period edition of what I said about The Worst of Evil.

21. Welcome to Samdalri - and goodbye to any hope of emotional involvement.

20. Joseon Attorney - I have yet to like a single sageuk centered around a profession and this was not an exception. I guess it could be worse but it also could have been so much better.

19. Twinkling Watermelon - everyone loved this drama. Everyone except for me. It's the kind of precious that sets my teeth on edge and I couldn't stand half the main characters we were supposed to root for. I guess I like my fruits to shine steadily.

18. Our Blooming Youth - probably the biggest disappointment on this list. This is not a bad drama by any means, but with that cast and that story (I loved the novel), I was hoping for a memorable sageuk not merely all right.

17. Vigilante - it has the emotional complexity and nuance of a punch to the throat but it gives us quasi-gay openly-murderous dudes going after psychos and Yoo Ji Tae holding feral Nam Joo Hyuk by his hoodie at his feet.

16. The Forbidden Marriage - expected nothing but it was a surprisingly enjoyable trifle of a costume drama that was also quite pretty.

15. Arthdal Chronicles: Sword of Aramun - a hot mess but such an entertaining epic one. And it gave us TWO Lee Jun Kis in period gear and who am I to cavil at the bounty of God?

14. The Story of Park's Marriage - it's a trifle, a souffle, so light it might blow away, but it keeps my attention and is so fun and sweet.

13. My Lovely Liar - a huge surprise, that manages to mix a murder mystery and a romcom, and shocked me by showing Hwang Minhyun can act.

12. Tale of the Nine Tailed 1938 - the original ToNT was my fave drama of its year and I did not think it needed a sequel. But this is not a sequel but more of a side-quel and is such a total delight with brotherly love, adventures, romance and hijinks. It's a joy.

11. Perfect Marriage Revenge - it's actually very hard to do a soap right but this slim 12 ep drama managed. So fun, so crazy, such a good ship!

10. My Lovely Boxer - not really about sports, but about two broken people finding salvation because of and in each other. Also, if you like age gap romances, this is delicious. Sort of loses steam by the end but c’est la vie.

9. The Secret Romantic Guesthouse - this was a sageuk that was not on my radar with a bunch of actors I was not familiar with but it took my heart away. A good plot that was perfectly paced, characters and ships I adored, a logical ending. This is one of the biggest positive surprises of the year for me.

8. Tell Me That You Love Me - a slice of life remake (sort of, it's more "inspired by") of my favorite jdrama of all time. It's not as good as the jdrama because nothing could be, but it's an aching lovely story with some incredible performances.

7. See You In My 19th Life - funny and romantic and haunting and hopeful and odd. This was one of my favorites of the year.

6. Alchemy of Souls: Light and Shadow - it's rare for me to like a (1) sequel (2) with FL actress change (3) that is a Hong Sisters drama. But this was such a gorgeous, surprisingly achy story of love and loss and love regained with some cool monster fighting in the middle. Between the two seasons, this is the first Hong Sisters' drama I enjoyed from beginning to end in well over a decade.

5. My Demon - so tropey (chaebols, supernaturals) but it proves that these tropes are popular for a reason. The chemistry is fire, the story is unpredictable and the whole thing is an addictive delight. A rare drama where I like each new ep more than the last one.

4. Goryeo Khitan War - an old school sageuk in every meaning of the term (no romance, no eye candy, lots of bearded men, battles and politics), this feels like watching an epic movie more than a drama. The vast cast all earns their place and the performances (mainly from character actors given a chance to shine) are incredible.

3. Call It Love - two very very damaged people finding love and healing with each other. This is a narrative very hard to do to my satisfaction but when it's done well, as here, there are few things that can hold a candle to it.

2. My Dearest - a masterpiece of cinematography, narrative, performances. This is an old-school epic romance in the best sense of the term. If it doesn't make you swoon or break your heart, there is something wrong with you. A story of two untraditional, strong-willed, flawed people who fall in love in the middle of the horrifying Qing invasion of Korea and have to deal with all that the world throws at them, this is a bona fide masterpiece.

1 - Moon in the Day - who knew my favorite kdrama of the year will star a store brand Domyoji from Extraordinary You and an actress I was never familiar with. But this part period/part modern fantasy tale of doomed cursed lovers is everything I knew I wanted and everything I didn't know I wanted but did. Two lovers where their love did not save them and in modern day it might not again, has got me obsessed the way I haven't been in years.

FAVORITE DRAMA

Moon in the Day - if there is such a thing as a drama made perfectly for me, this gorgeous, emotionally haunting, utterly romantic, twisty tale is it.

WORST DRAMA

The Escape of the Seven. This drama is proof that demons exist and not sexy ones like Song Kang but horrible nasty ones who delight in the torment this hot mess inflicted on its viewers.

FAVORITE MALE CHARACTER

Do Ha, Moon in the Day - a Silla general and a consummate killer who committed atrocities on the orders of his monster father and yearned to die for them, who found the meaning in life in loving his enemy but it did not make him better, a man so obsessed he literally was around for 1500 years of horrifying ghostly existence and still went "worth it" for a woman who killed him as long as he knew she loved him while she did it. He's intense and competent and beyond fucked up and has never had a normal day and I love him so so so very much from a safe distance.

FAVORITE FEMALE CHARACTER

Gil Chae, My Dearest - she starts out as vain and spoiled but the horrors that break so many others bring out all her fierce survivor potential and she becomes such a force of nature - capable of incredible love but also sacrifice and strength and compassion.

Runner Up: Shin Hye Sun's reincarnator in See You In My 19th Life - quirky, damaged, strong, so odd and so vulnerable at once.

NEEDS TO BE MURDERED

There are a lot of characters who fit that category (King Injo in My Dearest? My God) but the crown belongs to So Ri Bu from Moon in the Day. You think you've seen abusive parents but until you've seen a man abuse his son his whole life and then continue for 1500 years after his death, you ain't seen nothing!

FAVORITE SHIP

The doomed by the narrative OTP of Moon in The Day. Only thing that's better than enemies to lovers is enemies while lovers and their impossible relationship where her killing him is a supreme act of love and his refusing to let go is so strong that he stays around for 1500 years watching her, helpless as she dies over and over again, is everything you ever want.

Runner up: Jang Hyun/Gil Chae, My Dearest. They are so strong and so damaged and it takes them so long to figure out what they feel and what the other person feels but their love and sacrifice and complexities are perfect.

FAVORITE SECONDARY OTP

Kim Shi Yeol/Hong Joo, The Secret Romantic Guesthouse - an assassin bodyguard pretending to be a carefree scholar and a widow of the man he killed to protect his king (and whose life was destroyed as a result.) I enjoyed the main OTP of this drama but I was utterly and completely unhinged for the secondary couple.

I'd have probably picked Rang and his mermaid from TotNT 1938 even over them, but they really were the main OTP of that drama.

NOTP

King the Land couple seems like an easy target but honestly, they are both so terribly bland and antiseptic and marketing by committee, they kinda deserve each other. So I am gonna go with Destined with You, one half of which thinks supernaturally roofying someone into loving them is cute and the other half thinks dating one woman while wooing another is totally a-ok. Ugh.

FAVORITE SCENE

There is no competition for the scene in the slave market in My Dearest, where Jang Hyun finds Gil Chae - the way he screams and tries to clutch the hem of her skirt will live in my head forever.

And the scene where he 'wins' that horrifying bet, or the scene where she finds him in a pile of bodies - they are as good also. Or when he fights off a squad to protect her even though he's sick. That whole drama is perfect.

Runner up: the scene of Do Ha executing Ri Ta's family, covered in blood, as she looks at him from the crowd in Moon in the Day.

Or the scene where he talks about how he cannot live as a person but at least maybe she will kill him and he will die as one. Or when her confession in the past intercuts with his walking in the present, or when he comes home in his bloodied armor and she finds he has a fever and it's the first tender touch he's probably ever known. Her murdering So Ri Bu saying she knows she's going against filial piety in loving her parents' murderer, the way they hug, both bloody, as he says "let's live." The way she says she can't go on as she's hit rock bottom and he replies she cannot quit because she must accompany him to his rock bottom now. Honestly, the drama is a font of amazingness.

Also, the opening scene of Goryeo Khitan War or the scene of Yang Gyu ordering to shoot the captives and having to do so himself.

The OTP meeting again at the intersection at the end of ep 1 of Tell Me That You Love Me. SHS comforting ABH as he's having a traumatic breakdown in 19th Life. The love-making scene in Call It Love. There were a lot of great scenes this year.

BIGGEST CRUSH

Lee Jang Hyun, My Dearest - is that even a competition? He's flawed - vain, often emotionally closed off, not great at processing emotions, lashing out when hurt. He is also incredibly heroic in a real, knows the cost but bears it, kind of way. Whatever he does, he commits utterly but it's never without understanding the cost. He felt both larger than life and utterly real. He went through hell and maintained his soul and the way he loved Gil Chae was breath-taking to behold.

Runner Up: Yang Gyu, Goryeo Khitan War - an experienced military commander who wins an impossible victory even as it ravages his soul. Competence is sexy as fuck.

BEST SCENE STEALER CHARACTER

Rang, Tale of the Nine Tailed 1938 - 1938 really was Rang's chance to shine and he took it. For a character I started out disliking in the original, he really stole my entire heart in this drama. I am so glad he got his happy ending with his brother and his girl.

Runner Up: Crown Prince, My Dearest. He started out as a sheltered, spoiled aristocrat, convinced the world owed him for existing. He grew up slowly and painfully into an amazing man. And then was murdered for it and I cried.

NEEDS A SEQUEL

Arthdal - it leaves the story at a good stopping point but it's very much a "world in flux, adventures and conflicts continue" ending and I would love to see more of these characters. I know we won't but it would have been nice.

NEEDS SCISSORS TAKEN TO IT

Behind Your Touch - should have been snipped at birth.

TOO MANY SCISSORS TAKEN TO IT

Vigilante - I don't mean it had scissors taken to it because it's not cdrama and there is no NRTA, but this drama would have benefitted from being longer. I mean, I love fights and gay polycules as much as the next tumblr person but a bit more character development would not have come amiss. (ahaha - I said come. Leave me alone.)

TROPE THAT NEEDS TO DIE

I don't care about cops/doctors/trash collectors/whoever - workplace drama centering on their "cases" needs to die. I hate procedurals from any country and Korea is no exception.

FAVORITE TROPE WE’VE SEEN A LOT OF

Supernatural critter devoted to their OTP with all the power of their long life.

BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT

Our Blooming Youth - it was far from terrible but it was a giant meh. I was so excited to see Park Hyung Sik in a sageuk (that wasn't the hot mess that was Hwarang) and I adored the source novel. It actually started well and then...it's like Revenge of the Beige!

BIGGEST GOOD SURPRISE

I want to say Moon in the Day but to be honest, I was excited by posters and trailers so it wasn't wholly a surprise despite not having much of an opinion on the actors before I saw them. So I am going to say My Demon. I was bored by the trailers, I can't remember the last time I enjoyed a Kim Yoo Jung drama and before this year I would have said Song Kang was an incredibly limited actor in everything I've seen him in and not appealing to me at all. And here I am rabidly rabiding for this drama!

If I am not limiting myself to dramas but can use this for actors - Hwang Minhyun in My Lovely Liar. I genuinely did not think the man could act and then he gave such a pitch-perfect, nuanced performance out of nowhere!

2023 DRAMAS I HAVEN’T SEEN THAT I MOST WANT TO WATCH

I have actually watched all the kdramas that aired this year that I wanted to check out except for Evilive. I am saving this for when I have time.

BEST NON-2023 DRAMA I’VE WATCHED IN 2023

I don't know if I'd say it's the best but Say You Love Me (2004) with Kim Rae Won as a quasi monk seduced away from his true love by an evil older woman was a hell of a ride.

MOST ANTICIPATED

Love Song for Illusion (Lady assassin falls for her royal target who has two personalities), Captivating the King (lady spy falls for her royal target who is tormented) - notice a theme? Also Flower that Blooms at Night because Honey Lee in a sageuk, The Life of Mrs Ock (Lim Ji Yeon in a sageuk), The Love Story of Chun Hwa (an "erotic" sageuk, hmmmm, what?!), Hong Rang (Lee Jae Wook in a super angst sageuk), Queen Woo (that cast and set in Goguryeo!), Wong Kyung (about Lee Bang Won's wife and I love the cast.) Basically, if it's period, I am there with bells on.

[sapphicscholar]

Hacks Episode 3x09 Thoughts

Okay, so back during S2, I wrote up my thoughts about each pair of Hacks episodes as they dropped – partially for sharing but largely as an archive for myself of my own thoughts/feelings to revisit when I watched the episodes later to see how they held up, how it compared to watch them serially vs. as a whole season, etc. Anyway, I was incredibly stressed out and busy for much of this season (after over a year of that being the key set of words to describe my life), but I wanted to throw out my thoughts about the finale before they grow too stale! And maybe I’ll come back and revisit the prior episodes in posts later when I have the time (hopefully in just a couple short weeks!) to enjoy them properly

As always, disjointed bulleted lists are the name of the game, going from the big picture to the detailed:

Overall, this felt like a very solid episode in the vein of season 1 in many ways! It brought us back to the interpersonal as the primary ground of conflict after many episodes (here and in S2) of the new hour, the special, and the Late Night host gig quest being our main plot drivers (which, at many times, made for weaker storytelling for reasons that exceed the scope of this post!). In particular, I felt like this episode hit its stride around the halfway point, and never really faltered after that in impressive ways!

That being said, I had two somewhat significant critiques of the finale (both of which reflect larger trends about strands of the show that continue to leave me a little disappointed)

We should have seen Marcus' conversation with Deborah about the new job. Period. I'll get into what could have been cut in my second critique, but even if there weren't weak spots in the episode, I still would have been deeply disappointed in the show for this oversight, especially since they apparently filmed it. Although Hacks is clearly a show with a leading duo, it once had a core ensemble, but S2 saw them moved more and more to B-plots and bit roles, and now S3 has seen many of the characters we know and love eliminated almost entirely--a point that's particularly galling given that it's almost entirely characters of color (many of them canonically queer) who have been cut in favor of new white characters. Moreover, this scene would have been SO IMPORTANT - I could have seen it going 2 ways: a) Marcus quits after the convo where Deborah tells Ava she's willing to lose her, and Deborah has a reaction that is so utterly outsized because it's the terror of losing the person she's had with her the longest now compounded with the reality setting in that she's also driven away the woman who gave her new life when she most needed it; or b) Marcus shows up to quit, and Deborah immediately launches into a rant about Ava's leaving, which puts Marcus in the awkward spot of adding to that at a pivotal moment in the career of the woman he's spent much of his adult life with or giving up something he needs to do for himself; it could have been a lovely callback to S1 when he shows up with his whole speech prepared but then accepts the promotion without ever telling Deborah how he feels - only this time Marcus would have changed so much, and he'd have the opportunity to showcase that growth by insisting that he needs to do this for him. So many lost opportunities...

re what could have been cut because imo it did NOT work: Kathy Vance's return. Now, I love Hacks in large part because it insists on the complexity of its characters. No one is purely the victim or the hero of the story, and Deborah's "click" moment showcased that better than anything. AND YET the writing here did not work. Back in the Christmas ep, I messaged a friend saying I was glad that they brought Kathy back but seemed not to ask us to side with her - after all, she comes crashing back into Deborah's life, doesn't take ownership over her actions and in fact insists she was in the right because it only happened a few times, because Deborah wasn't sleeping with him (very "you weren't playing with it, so it's mine now" little sister energy that is deeply unappealing in a grown ass adult), and because they were the "better couple" which is, I'm sorry, NEVER the fucking thing to tell someone whose marriage and life you destroyed. I joked then that I'd take back my compliments if her role in the finale suggested that actually we should be on Kathy's side here. And lo and behold... What's a real bummer is that there were ways to do this better! Because you can have sympathy for an imperfect character--this show is a testament to that fact!--but not like this. We as an audience have no reason to side with Kathy when she insists that Deborah will be worse than ever and berates her for cutting their weekend short. Instead, we see a woman with a large sense of entitlement she's done nothing to earn and directorial choices that don't make it a smooth transition. But what could have been lovely is, for instance, treating the Christmas and finale reunions as these deflationary moments of anticipation and disappointment because they are, after this many decades, essentially strangers to one another. Had we seen two women who longed for the deep affective ties of their childhood relationship only to be confronted with the cold hard fact of their estrangement from one anther, it would have been so much more powerful. And here you could ACTUALLY garner sympathy (some) for Kathy by having it be this moment of "I lost my sister" partially through her own actions "to Late Night once, and now, right when I have a chance to try to build something with her again, I feel like I'm going to lose her again before I can even really try to do right by her this go around." THAT could have worked. This was just too much time on something that did almost nothing in the grand scheme of the plot (because we didn't have the emotional connection to feel it as another compounding loss for Deborah in an episode where Ava's "and you're going to die alone" could have landed with even more force)

Okay so it turns out this is getting hella fucking long, so some shorter praise and giddy feelings things:

I LOVE how often Ava got to say the things we've all been squeeing about for years during this episode - especially that the material is good because of their relationship, not the other way around; their dynamic is not incidental to the work, and that's so important to me personally.

I had guessed that Ava would be offered head writer and quit her current job, only to have it taken away because Deborah was too scared to rock the boat, but I did NOT see the end coming! In fact, I kind of thought Ava might end up suing Deborah for intellectual property theft (using material Ava wrote outside of her contractual appointment for the new show because, surprise surprise, the writers who sucked when she was a guest still suck now compared to Ava!) In fact, I sort of thought that end scene might end up being a return to the car scene, and was relishing the thought of Ava's mimicking Deb's "It'll be fun, honey." But the blackmail as a form of love/devotion was soooo much better. Truly chef's kiss.

Also the way this rewrote the S2 finale even as the underlying message remained the same is so special to me - I'll stay with you even when it's bad for me (sacrificing my career -> sacrificing my morals) because it's good for you and more importantly it's good for us and the work. JPL know how to write a finale, and I'd give up a kidney to have that same energy be there throughout a whole season again (not that the eps are bad, but they lack some of the sharpness in writing and emotional depth that JPL do so well with finales and also often with the first couple eps of a season too)

Lastly JPL going on the record that Deborah was turned on by that final scene + Ava's "I would, wouldn't you?" and "Let's begin" - truly some of the hottest TV. We're so back babyyy. No more half naked superheroes with all the eroticism of a desk chair. Give me messy women determined to fling themselves into the air because they know the thrill is worth everything good and safe they're leaving behind, even if they hit the ground with no parachute!

I have many, many thoughts about S3 and what's to come, but I'll save them for another post because phewww this got long as fuck

[goodomens-hints]

Episode 1 plot summary (+complete list of scenes) and more details about later episodes

SPOILER WARNING SPOILER GOOD OMEN SPOILERS BELOW i'll leave my inbox open in case anyone has specific questions about season 2 eps

Scene 1: star creation scene Crowley needs help building constellations so he calls out at a shooting star-shape that turns out to be Aziraphale, who materializes in front of him. He asks Aziraphale to hold up an open scroll with schematics for the galaxies. When Aziraphale does so, Crowley pokes the center of the scroll with his hand crank device and twists it, so that nebulae shoot out. Yes there is a scene where Crowley says "look at that, gorgeous" and Aziraphale gets flustered. They watch in awe until Aziraphale tells Crowley "you do know after 6,000 years it'll be gone right? I read about it in the Great Plan". Crowley gets upset and protests, questioning the almighty, how there should be a suggestion box where they can put suggestions, and Aziraphale advises him not to say such things. Crowley says it's not like asking questions gets you into trouble. They watch the galaxies bloom and Crowley veils Aziraphale with his wing as shooting stars fall toward them, similar to the Garden of Eden scene but in reverse. Scene 2 aziraphale goes to record shop Aziraphale gets a note in the bookshop that says there's a matter of great "ugrency" (misspelled). He visits Maggie in the record shop and she's crying because she can't pay rent, so she's prepared to move. Aziraphale says if she gives him the records he requested, that'll be equivalent to the rent she owes. Maggie asks how he can forgive her and he says "I'm all about forgiveness, actually" and leaves.

Scene 3: crowley talks to shax this is the one posted on youtube, though it's a lengthened scene that includes the beginning where a spy tries to talk to crowley on the bench and he redirects him to the guy feeding ducks. those are the guys crowley is yelling at later. there is also a part where shax implies that crowley owes her specific information? it's very vague but it's probably why she's giving him updates on hell. yup, crowley does say he hasn't seen aziraphale in a while but it's clearly a lie lol Scene 4: michael mentions book of life

in heaven, michael is arguing with someone on the phone about the book of life, i thought at first it was beelzebub on the other end but it's probably uriel

Scene 5: gabriel appears on earth maggie visits nina who remembers her coffee order (skinny latte). then they're distracted by the commotion outside wherein gabriel shows up naked carrying a box. aziraphale is listening to the records but gabriel knocks on the door of his bookshop. there's a huge crowd outside and the moment aziraphale opens the door, gabriel says "I know you! :D" and hugs him in front of everyone while still naked LOL. aziraphale gets really embarrassed and brings gabriel inside. the rest of the scene is the one on youtube where gabriel explains he doesn't remember who he is. Scene 6: muriel finds matchbox short scene where muriel finds the matchbox with Job's passage on the floor of Heaven. you can see a bit of this in the trailer

Scene 7: crowley throws mail and meets shax again Crowley is in a random street throwing the mail shax gave him into a garbage can. Suddenly shax calls and crowley picks up, snapping at her that she shouldn't call and appear suddenly at the same time. shax appears behind him and says "why not?" this is the pic where both shax and crowley are on the phone -- theyre actually talking to each other lmao. shax tells crowley there are rumors of gabriel being missing and crowley is happy. she leaves. Scene 8:

aziraphale is talking to gabriel and we get the whole trailer scene ("you know that feeling where...") but in the real ep aziraphale's reaction is SO ANIMATED, with him standing up and saying "No! definitely not! I have no idea!" LMAO it's so funny, he's so in denial. We hear FLIES when it cuts to gabriel btw so maybe beelzebub is spying? HOW SUSPICIOUS. At one point Gabriel says "I love you" out of nowhere to Aziraphale and Aziraphale says "I..." and Gabriel smiles, looking like he's expecting an i love you back but Aziraphale just says "hmm". People were laughing so hard at this.

Aziraphale calls crowley and asks to meet at the coffee shop. Crowley informs him that gabriel is missing.

Scene 9: short scene where michael and uriel argue because michael said now with gabriel gone, someone has to be in charge...

Scene 10: Maggie brings Nina a record but Nina doesn't have a record player. Nina reveals she has a partner (Lindsay) and Maggie gets disappointed and leaves. She bumps into Crowley and Aziraphale on the way out and tells Aziraphale "you're an angel" lmao.

Scene 11: Crowley is PISSED PISSED PISSED the whole time, in fact the whole ep he looks like he's about to explode. We get the coffee shop scene HOWEVER right before that Crowley asks Aziraphale "what's wrong?" and Aziraphale says "why do you think something's wrong?" all nervously and Crowley says "you only ever call for 3 reasons: one, you're bored, two, you accomplished something and want to brag about it, and three, something's wrong. And you're using your 'something's wrong' voice." YUP THIS IS THE NEW 'i know what you smell like!'. we then get the naked man convo and crowley realizes immediately that aziraphale is stressed and says "is it something i can help with?" and aziraphale nods and THEY IMMEDIATELY GET UP and go to the bookshop with a plate of eccle cakes lmao. once crowley sees gabriel he and aziraphale start fighting. crowley gets mad at aziraphale and tells him he didn't command gabriel to answer properly. He yells at gabriel "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THE BOOKSHOP?!" and uses his hypnotism but gabriel just says "I'm dusting" and does the passive-aggressive feather duster motion. we get the "carved out for ourselves" convo .aziraphale says "fine, i would love for you to help, but if you won't, then feel free to leave". crowley says "i'm not helping" and storms off. he goes out into the street and says to himself "dont do anything rash... wait 10 seconds before doing anything..." but he's already emmitting smoke. We get a funny convo between nina and maggie who are watching crowley from the coffee shop. Nina's all "the man who drank six expressos! He's smoking!" and maggie says "well of course, he needs to calms down!" and nina says "no i mean actually smoking!" Crowley does the lightning thing (maggie thinks he was actually struck by lightning) and it ends up locking Maggie and Nina in the shop and killing their phones. Scene 12:

seroquel and muriel show michael and uriel the matchbox. It has "The Resurrectionist" on it. They are baffled that something material has made its way into heaven. We get the "Gabriel, I think he's gone to earth" line.

Scene 13:

Crowley's in his car and flies start buzzing. beelzebub appears in his car and teleports them both to hell using flies. This is the pic in the poster where beelz and crowley are sitting on chairs side by side. crowley is disgusted and spits some flies out lmao. beelzebub says he can come back and work for hell (and even get a promotion) if he finds gabriel, and that according to heaven, anyone involved in hiding gabriel will be erased from the book of life. crowley is teleported back to his car and begins panicking. Scene 14: nina and maggie bond while locked in the coffee shop. maggie doesn't drink wine and didn't party, nina opens up some wine and drinks it out of a teacup. she says her girlfriend makes her text if she's late by 10 minutes and that she must be freaking out right now. they see someone walking outside and try to ask her to help free them but she doesn't notice them.

Scene 15:

Crowley is mad in his car, speeding, doing the usual etc. Good Old-fashioned lover boy is playing!!!! Scene 16: Crowley arrives and Nina and Maggie catch his attention. They signal for help and he just goes "oh" and snaps his fingers, unlocking the coffee shop and bringing back the electricity. He walks off lmao. Nina and Maggie are weirded out, Nina groans because her phone is bombarded with texts from Lindsay asking where she is. Crowley enters and we get the "I'm back" scene. Aziraphale says he has to do the apology dance and Crowley is all "no way" at first but Aziraphale says "I had to do it in 1861, 1942..." and Crowley says fine and dances.

IT'S REALLY HILARIOUS. HE ENDS IT WITH A BALLERINA BOW LIKE THIS LMAO

So we get the "we need to hide him" convo and they decide to each use half a miracle so that their miracles wont be detected by heaven/hell. crowley will hide gabriel from heaven and aziraphale will hide gabriel from hell. they do the hand-holding thing (like in the pic). theyre not sure if it worked but crowley tests it by standing on a chair and poking at the space above gabriel LOL and there's a hint of a shield so he says it worked, and that he's sure heaven or hell didn't detect a thing. Gabriel is all "now i have two friends :D" and crowley says "We are not friends >:(" Scene 17: an alarm is blaring in heaven because CLEARLY they noticed the half miracle ahahahaha. michael, uriel and seraquel go to the globe and see purple smoke streaming out of the UK. they 'zoom in' and realize it's coming from aziraphale's bookshop.... (interesting that michael refers to aziraphale as a 'former angel' here)

End episode Soon I will summarize ep 2! Some hints for future eps too: -There's a big rain scene -There's an epic scene in the bookshop that took several weeks to film! (youve seen some hints in the trailer) -There are at least 3 jokes about aziraphale and crowley having sex that are scattered throughout the season LOL one of them is nina noticing crowley grumpy and saying "you look like mr. fell didn't let you top last night" and crowley's reaction is amazing. I'll say no more (for now)

[obliviouskara]

top 5 supergirl episodes?

full disclosure i haven't seen the entirety of supergirl (ive literally only seen like 7 eps & its all season 1) so this list will probably change over time (bc im starting to painstakingly watch the show - imagine slowburn but watching a series) however ive watched like a ridiculous amount of supercorp edits so im going to base my choices on the parts where supercorp exist ha!

5. Season 1 - Red Faced

this would probably be the only none supercorp related yet still somehow my personal fave for a few reasons. i love this scene in particular bc it shows that cat grant cares for kara and what cat says here is very relatable. no matter how harsh cat can be at times, cat was a girl's girl here. she gave an advice which was helpful to both supergirl and kara. she had every right to rip kara viciously apart but instead she took a completely different route. i like the line she says here.

"You really need to figure out what's really bothering you." "You really need to find that anger behind the anger. And you really need to figure out what's really making you mad."

i think this was also the ep where kara acknowledged where some of the anger was coming from. even with zero dialogue and with mel's incredible acting skills she was able to convey so much emotions during that scene where she releases all her anger towards the red tornato. From losing her parents, losing her planet —her home, for losing everything and maybe even angry with her parents for the choices they made for her. it was such an incredible and very emotional scene.

im putting the rest in read more bc of how unnecessarily long this post has become

4. Season 2 - "The Adventures of Supergirl"

this should be easy. this was the first time kara met lena and changed the trajectory of every queer person watching this show and lena first delivered the first of many many questionably fruity (gay) lines fjlkajdla

"You couldn't have fooled me."

also bc of this scene thank you very much

3. Season 2 - "Luthors"

if there is one particular scene that convinced me to even give supergirl the time of day its obvs this one and lena "suspiciously straight" luthor delivered one of the most iconic lines on television in my opinion and now forever engraved in my mind. let's not forget lcorp CEO lena luthor took the time of day to fill catco employee kara danver's office with flowers like it's a regular tuesday but oh well

"now you'll have someone to stand up for you. always" "supergirl might have saved me but kara danvers, you are my hero."

screaming, crying, throwing up

2. Season 2 - "Exodus"

tada! i mean, look at it! how heroic! i also find it funny how grateful and confused lena was that kara danvers was having coffee with supergirl late at night but still

Season 2 - Ace Reporter

so this isnt at all groundbreaking bc honestly, 5 isn't enough and anything that has supercorp will be my favorite even though again i havent seen the rest of supergirl yet but we're ignoring canon so we're ignoring that fact too. i think this was the ep where kara was comforting lean about jack's death. i personally have a love and hate relationship towards this scene for many reasons but im a sucker for supercorp and there was a clip where kara hesitated and looked like she was about to plant a kiss on lena's head but then hugged her instead and i think its beautiful and im a sucker for kara leaning in towards lena

BONUS:

im too lazy to figure out where these clips are from which episode but this. i love every scene and its more like these below are my reasons for watching supergirl and has nothing to do with being my top 5 bwahaha

oh did i mention i also happen to have a weird obsession with superrojas i will not rest until i reach the ep where andrea rojas exist

[bronx-bomber87]

Hi! just want to say really love The Rookie episode breakdown that you do.

So assuming you have watch all of them, do you have any list / ranking of best Chenford related episodes? Or can you give us your ranking of best Chenford related episodes? Really want to hear your thoughts on this. Thank you!

Hi @xiaozhen16! First off thank you for your lovely comment on my reviews. Means a lot I'm so glad you enjoy them. :) Also appreciate you wanting my thoughts on this. Let's see I have been with The Rookie since day one, actually pre-green light. I followed Nathan after Castle and his next project and saw The Rookie get its green light. So i've been with since the literal jump. Seen all eps for sure more than once haha Think I've rewatched it least 5 times since it started. Thank you for being patient while I took the time to answer this. Life is hard to fit stuff in so thank you. It'll be a long reply lol In order to answer this properly I'm going to do top 5 with an honorable mentions that could span up to 5 cause this is hard LOL Those will be in no particular order. I'll do it for each season. Except S5. I just can't choose S5 down to a top ten.

I love that entire season. But I can do 1-4. Someday I can rank S5 on its own ranking the entire season if you like but for now it'll be this. Let me know if you'd like me to do that in the comments. But for this one Each season has something different to offer for them. So it'll be easier to break it down by season but only going up to S4. Hopefully you enjoy this detailed reply. Anyone is welcome to comment and such too.

Season 1.

1x14 Plain Clothes Day

Hands down this is my favorite episode of S1 for them. It's a very telling episode for them both. Lots of growth as well. Lucy is hell bent to prove herself to Tim. She is nervous but driven to prove to Tim she is worth investing his time in. Her day is a plethora of jitters and mistakes. Tim consistently getting under her skin and rattling her cage. Then at the last minute like a phoenix rising from the ashes Lucy makes the right call. Such a clutch moment that impresses Tim more than he'll ever let on. Doesn't hesitate for one moment checking that man's garage out.

This is a huge step towards her growth as a cop and a person really. Its seminal episode for Lucy. A stepping stone to her confidence and learning to trust her instincts and not second guess herself. For Tim it's realizing as much as he loves to mess with Lucy he wants her to succeed more. He states in the very beginning of the episode how he's had 11 rookies wash out on this day. ELEVEN. He hasn't cared if his rookies have washed out 11 times. Then Lucy Chen walked into his life. Disrupted his life in the best way.

With her incredibly driven sunshine ways he REFUSES to let her be his 12th. Does everything in his ability to keep her from being fired. They have a lot of lovely moments in this episode ranging from messing with her to fiercely protecting her from that tool-bag trying to take her job. The scene outside the captain's office where he has to re-write her eval gah so very good. Overall just an amazing episode of moments and growth for them as characters and as a ship. Another step towards their rock-solid bond.

2. 1x20 Free Fall

What's not to love about this finale? It's the culmination of everything they've been through to this point in the season. We watch how Tim instantly protects Lucy from being infected. At first he's in control of the situation (or so he thinks..) Trying to keep Lucy calm while on the inside he is panicking. Attempting to keep up his tough T.O. act with her. Determined to show Lucy he's bulletproof no matter the situation. That quickly begins the devolve the longer he is in that room.

The more he has to deal with this disease alone the worse it gets. We get a front row seat into protective Lucy. The way she is losing it for Tim on the outside. Doing anything and everything to get him out of there. This is the first time we get to see Tim trust Lucy emotionally and not hesitate. Not only that but so openly. She has been knocking on the door of this all season.

The scene above is her reward for all that work. The role reversal that happens here is wonderful. Where Lucy becomes the rock. The one to comfort him while Tim is battling with his dark thoughts of suicide if this goes sideways. Trusting her enough to tell her such deep thoughts. Lucy guiding him through those emotions best she can. It's a fantastic way to end the season for them. Lots of earned moments in this one.

3. 1x11 Redwood

Our first Iconic OTP Line Episode. This is where we start to see Tim soften for Lucy. Those sharp edges dulling a bit. We get to watch how he knows exactly how to calm her when she is in a panic. Tim commands this entire episode for her. Distracting her from the moment that needle goes in to chewing out the nurse for not prioritizing her. It was our first glimpse into protective Tim and I was here for it. Excellent introduction to this side of him regarding Lucy. Does the Tim Bradford special where he tells her like it is while showing empathy.

The first time we get to see him care truly care and let her know that he's there. Has her back in a way no one really has before. Lucy is watching her career go down the drain in her eyes. Changing her life forever and is in panic city. Tim doesn't let her be a resident there for very long. This ep showcases how amazing he is at his job and how good Tim is with Lucy. Knows exactly what to do in order to keep her sane.

He spends his entire day distracting her and showing empathy in the process. Ultimately stopping her from going off the razor's edge. It's these moments she has with Tim that shift her POV of him. Why she fights for him like she does. Lucy knows the good heart this man has. That he cares about her as person. That she is more than just his rookie. It's so very good. Producing the line above. *sigh*

4. 1x07 The Ride Along

These early episode are what I like to call building block eps. The foundation that is laid in these are so important. It's Lucy showing up for Tim when he needs it most. Their relationship is in its infancy in these episodes. Being molded into what we see in the finale and honestly the future. Lucy noticing a serious wrong (Isabel taking advantage of Tim's deep loyalty) Not only noticing but not letting him throw his life/career away for it. The line above is EVERYTHING. She refuses to let Tim cross an ocean and compromise his soul for someone who wouldn't cross a puddle for him. The bravery it took for her take a stand I'll always commend her for. How scary it must've been for her to confront him like this. When he was still in his radioactive insanely damaged phase. Tim already meant more to her at this point than she expected. She couldn't stand back and watch him self-destruct for someone who didn't deserve it. Tim is not even close to being used to someone showing up for him like this at this point. It's so very foreign to him.

Not only that but someone putting him in place and knocking sense back into him. Something he comes to learn and love about Lucy. Becomes the fabric of their dynamic really. In the moment he's so angry with her but long term forever grateful she stepped in like she did. That crack in his wall starting to grow a little more. A defining moment for them early on in this season. They had me hook line and sinker after this. I was already low-key shipping them but this added to it.

5. 1x03 The Good The Bad and the Ugly

Another building block episode. A crucial one for them really. I love how their early episodes set them up beautifully for the rest of the season. If not for these episodes you wouldn't see how wonderful the growth is for them both. The episodes that'll be in my honorable mentions are the fruit of these. Because without seeing where they came from how could we deeply appreciate how far they've come? Tim is imploding at a high velocity in this episode. Doesn't care about the collateral damage either. At this point that damage radius includes Lucy.

We truly see Tim as his very worst in the beginning. The beautiful thing is Lucy see's past his hurt into who he is as a person. He is worth getting through to. Also she also see's he is a god damn dumpster fire. One that if she doesn't put him out he's going to take her down with him. You know Tim respects the hell out of her for the scene above. (Not in the moment but in the long term of it all.)

For standing up to him and showing him how selfish he was being. It's what earns her that wonderful scene in the shop afterwards. Where he opens up and tells her about Isabel and a little bit of their history. His way of thanking her for getting his head on straight. Their early stuff is so raw but so good. They're learning how to function together. Usually one of them leading the other more depending on the situation. Start of their wonderful dynamic.

~~~

Honorable mentions-Ones I wanted to include cause they're amazing but can only gif the top 5 and one mention ha So it'll be my top ten for each season. They have so many good eps.

1x18 Home Front

So much to love about this one. Lucy busting his chops the entire ep. Get our first glimpse into their playful work flirts. Her challenging him on his personal life and not work for the first time. Standing her ground in that opinion. Like she does best with him. Telling Tim he needs something other than work. Naturally is defensive at first and eventually caves in. It results in the cute paintball moment above we all know and love.

1x19-Checklist-We get another glimpse into what Tim is willing to do to keep Lucy from washing out. I love this episode and how we start to see Tim trust in her decision making skills. Like the woman with the swapped plates. She lets her go and it ends up working out for her. The final scene is the best where he logs OT for her to continue on in the program. Lucy feeling so supported with this gesture. *heart clutch* So good.

1x16 Green light- Our first look into how protective Lucy can be about Tim. Their rank be damned in her opinion. The way she protects and defends him to Detective Murphy is glorious. Not caring she's her superior officer. She is kicking him when he is already down and Lucy won't stand for it. Then Tim returns the favor when she's upset about catching Cole. ‘Grief is grief. It’s a hole that can’t be filled. But over time, it’ll shrink enough so that you won’t fall in every time you take a step.’ His growth in this line is amazing to watch unfold. How he has grown since his whole debacle with Isabel.

1x15-Man Hunt.- We see some more fruit of Lucy's impact on Tim. Him wanting to do more with his career. He decides to go for Sergeant and we all know she is part of that reason. Also we get a glimpse into Tim and his rookie days through Deacon and his 54 connection. Lucy is delighted to get a birds eye view to his past. It's the scene where they're defending the escaped prisoner that's the best. Saying how he refuses to do something he will be ashamed in the light of day. This moment being proof Lucy's impact on him from 1x07. Its beautifully full circle.

1x01 Pilot-Gotta include the pilot. It's what set the table for them. "Officer Bradford gets our hot shot." He sure does. Getting a look into them as characters and where they start off from. It's what hooked me to this show to begin with. Other than just my love for Eric and Nathan at the time lol I saw deep characters with so much potential and I've been hooked ever since.

~~~

Season 2. Has an unreal amount of good eps for them did my best to keep it to ten.

2x11 Day of Death

Naturally this iconic episode is my favorite of S2. How could it not be? This is a massively seminal moment in their history. It's where they go from border-line friends to bonded in a way no one else will ever understand. We watch Lucy fight tooth and nail to stay alive. She is so resilient because she knows Tim is on his way. He won't let her die. Won't Let Caleb win. Her immense amount of faith is beautiful. Knowing that he will get to her in time. Not a doubt in her mind.

We watch Tim race against the clock to rescue her. The pressure and anxiety mounting through out the entire episode for him. Like a weight on his soul he refuses to put down until she is back. We get to witness how much Tim has come to care about Lucy. See the depth's he will go to get her back safely. Also get to see a darker side to him. Which I wasn't totally opposed to seeing in order to get to her. (and wouldn't mind seeing again. tbh) 'Today is your day of reckoning. I am responsible for a life that is in jeopardy, and I will do whatever I have to, to save her.' *fans self* That man is on edge from the moment she goes missing till she is in his arms above.

First actual relaxing breath he takes the entire ep. You see how his body slumps against her in relief as he holds her. How deeply worried he was and won't let her out of his sight afterwards. We all know that man slept at the hospital all night and didn't take his eyes off her until she woke up. To make sure he was the first face she saw. That final scene in the hospital a beautiful look into the deep bond they've formed at this point. I love them sfm. Where we get our next Iconic OTP Line. 'You know me so well. Too Well.' Amongst a flurry of heart eyes and emotions.

2. 2x12 Now and Then

What I love the most about this episode is how Tim steps back. Let's her get taken care of by someone other than himself. Control Freak Tim Bradford hands the reins over. Because her recovering is more important than his ego. The growth I can not. He see's a blind spot within himself that he can not help out with. So he heeds Nyla's words when she approaches him about taking her on. He watches anxiously from afar wanting not to over step the entire episode.

Lucy is hurt he doesn't let her ride with him right away. She is confused and her emotions are all over the place in this episode. Rightfully so. We get to see once again how much Tim cares about her. The way he's asking everyone around her how she is. Even asks Nolan how she is really doing. You know that was hard for him to do. We get to the end of the episode and this glorious scene above. Tim sharing a piece of his past to heal her present.

You can tell he so desperately wants to take on some of her pain. That if he could he would. Still shouldering the weight of her being taken being on him. Trying to give her some hard won perspective. This is his way of saying he's so proud of her, he misses her, hoping him sharing his past brings her back to him. Brings Lucy back to being his sunshine human. Not the angry resentful one he see's in front of him. It's a beautiful scene for the both of them. The sweet smiles when he tosses back the ring. My damn heart.

3. 2x13 Follow Up Day

Another Iconic moment in S2. This season is full of them. Ground breaking moments that drive them forward as a ship. He's passed his Sergeants exam. Hooray. Lucy is SO DAMN PROUD when they get the news. It's the thing he's been working toward since the beginning of S2. He's offered a Hollywood post. One that he can have quickly. A prominent position for him right out the gate and yet he hesitates. Why you ask? Well he's a little too attached to his current rookie that he pretends he isn't attached to. (While dating her best friend might I add. Something I would forget regularly in this season)

Lucy reminds him why he wants to stay around and not leave yet. She challenges him, supports him and believes in Tim in a way he's never had before. Has unwavering faith in him. He says he's not done training her yet. When really he's not ready to let go of the influence she's had on his life. Heart eyes galore. She is more important than moving up atm. I love it.

4. 2x02 The Night General

The beginning of Tim's quest to study for being a Sergeant. It starts off as Tim torturing Lucy with reading his out of print book to him. What starts out as him enjoying making her read it turns into so much more. Lucy quickly turns it around on him. Because well Lucy. Decides on specific segments to have him recite back. Quickly annoying him and he loses this game fairly quickly. It's during this studying we find out Tim learns a certain way. That he must be in motion to absorb the material. (Me too love) He doesn't take this news in stride very well because it's Tim.

Lucy goes above and beyond to apologize for upsetting him. She spends what I assume is any free time between shifts recording the book for him. Not only does she do this she reassures him that it's ok to learn this way. There is no shame in it even compliments him because of it. Telling him its why he excels at being a cop. I

I just adore this moment so much because she builds him up and encourages him. Never once letting him feel shame for how he learns. Lucy taking care of him in ways Tim can't even comprehend atm. He is overwhelmed by her support and empathy. Can only muster a really loaded 'Thanks.' Such a lovely building block for them. Also welcome to the sweaty gun show above *fans self*

5. 2x08 Clean Cut

Ahh the protective Lucy episode. We get to see how far Tim will go for Lucy in this season. The audience also gets to see how far Lucy is willing to go to protect and defend Tim. Just like in 1x16 she charges head long at a superior to defend Tim. Refusing to let anyone sully his name or character. From the moment their shop hits that woman's car she goes into 'Protect Tim mode.' at all costs.

Hell raining down on anyone who gets in the way of her clearing his name. Eating anyone trying to stop her from righting this wrong she KNOWS is a wrong against him. Tim is so defeated and resigned after it happens. He's not going to defend himself so Lucy takes it on herself to do this. The ferocity is noticed by Tim. Why he lets her lead the questioning against the shady BF.

Lucy breathes life back into him that they could overturn this. That unshakeable faith she has in him. Refusing to let him give up on himself. It's the way she builds him up and won't let him think any less of himself I adore so much. After it's reversed and he gets his award she's a proud wifey. Even throwing back his own words at him when he thanks her. Eyes full of love. It's fantastic full circle moment for them.

~~~

Honorable Mentions

2x19-Q Word

As I've said earlier S2 is chock full of goodies. Tim learning the place he still holds in Lucy's life. He is her GO TO. A place he thought he had lost in 2x11. He gave up having that spot in her life because he no longer felt worthy of it. That he was given his shot and he blew it. Lucy not for one damn second thought he forfeited that. She was more upset he wasn't engaging with her about this than anything else.

Lucy does her best to relieve him of his burden. Of the guilt he continues to feel. To let him know it was NOT his fault. That his opinion is one of most value to her. The very opposite of what Tim thought of his place in her world. It's a good episode. One of the best parts above. Lucy applying some salve to his guilty soul.

2x06 Fallout

Lots to love in this ep. Tim trying and failing at 'being nice' to Lucy while she goes through her emotions about her ex. To him tapping into his actual soft side for her. The genuine side. Them facing a bomb threat and Lucy getting to unleash all her anger about her ex's wedding Such a good scene.. With a little of Lucy throwing his words back like no one else can. Lastly ending with them deciding to spend their last moments on earth together drinking booze. Damn good ep.

2x10-The Dark Side

Ahhh the pre-DOD episode. Where Tim spends the entire episode being over protective of Lucy and not sure why he is. All he knows is he doesn't like this guy sniffing around her. His cop gut screaming at him with a mixture of jealously and actual worry. The whole episode is one giant foreshadowing for the following episode.

2x14 Casualties

Tim background eps are always my jam. I LOVE LOVE LOVE this man and learning of his history. Getting a little look into his life in the service with Mitch. Also the intro of their fur-baby Kojo and how very unready Lucy is to care for him. We get our next Iconic OTP line 'Some things matter more.' A moment which is such a prominent scene for them. Good precursor to the moment they share in 2x19 as well.

2x01 impact

The premiere got some real good stuff. We see how Tim reacts so very poorly to Lucy protecting him. Regressing them both with his flour bomb moment. HIs anger coming out in everything he does with her in this episode. Lucy taking it at first then reaches her boiling point towards the end. Basically hands him his ass in a way only Lucy Chen can. It's glorious. Turns him around so much he brags on her to Grey later on about her jump after a suspect. 'Of course she did. I trained her.'

~~~

Season 3

3x09 Amber

Ahh my fav ep of the season. This episode has so many good moments. Lucy with her list for a 'healthy parting.' How she is determined to make her last day a big deal with Tim. Where as Tim is also determined, just in the opposite direction. Because if he talks about it he's going to have to face her leaving. Which we all know he does not want to do. Fights her on it most of the episode. Until something serious happens. Then Tim finally gives in to distract Lucy from the stressful baby scenario they're currently in.

Takes care of her by letting her do the bloody list he's trying to avoid. They have a lovely moment of reminiscing over Plain Clothes Day. How far Lucy has come since that moment. The amount of confidence she had gained. Learning to trust her instincts fully. Something Tim saw in her day one and wanted her to hone in on. Lucy then brings up UC and Tim saying she doesn't have what it takes. it leads into the most iconic moment of the episode. Where she "pretends" to have feelings for Tim.

Sending Tim into an ABSOLUTE panic till she can't take it anymore and breaks into pure laughter. Wounding his pride severely in the process of proving her point. We get two epic moments in this episode. The parking garage scene is lovely. A culmination of the last year of so. How far they've both come. His last eval being one that brings them full circle. Lucy's flour bomb finishing off the nostalgia. The heart eyes galore in this scene and its topped off with them calling each other by their first names. Starting a new chapter with this wonderful moment.

2. 3x14 Threshold

I LOVE this episode so much. It's why it's number 2. This episode is the culmination of Lucy's fast track UC training with Harper. Lucy chomping at the bit to prove herself. A VERY anxious Tim observing from the outside. The flirty flirt we get in the car makes me squee every time. Little bit of Tim and Lucy truly coming out in that moment. The touching is everything as she communicates silently with him about what's going on.

Then we get this moment above. Where they are blatantly flirting and checking each other out. Especially Tim. Man could not be more transparent in his attraction to Lucy at this point. The elevator gaze before they even talk. *fans self* Shameless flirting, praise from Tim and to top it off Tim is the one to ask Lucy to save him a dance. I remember going out of my mind with excitement when I saw this episode. Look at them above. My god the UST in immense and I love it so very much.

3. 3x06 Revelations

The episode where Lucy begins her interest in UC. It's a ROUGH episode for Tim for a lot of reasons. From his PTSD about Isabel with Mack showing up to seeing Lucy put in harms way. We see the protective side come out fiercely in this one. He doesn't even try to tamp it down. Especially in front of others. i.e. the entire OP room LOL Tim battling past demons and losing terribly. Seeing his favorite human put at risk isn't sitting well with him. His panic at losing her or possibly getting hurt making him lose his mind.

Lucy just wanting him to be proud of her. For showing an interest outside of patrol. To be excited she got put on an OP because she kicked ass on the fly. Impressed Harper enough to green light her. His approval and opinion meaning the entire world to her. When he doesn't she is so very discouraged. That's what makes the moment above so important and amazing. Tim putting aside those demons and letting her have that approval and praise she earned ten times over. Because at the end of the day this OP was about her and not him. So he puts her first with the lovely moment above.

4. 3x11 New Blood

Where we see Lucy be utterly CONSUMED by jealously and insecurities. Tim gets his new rookie and Lucy is excited at first. Then see's Tim isn't treating her anywhere near how she was treated in the beginning. He's being nice, letting her drive, buying her coffee, being soft and empathetic. All things she had to drag out of him kicking and screaming. I've said this before but Tim was her first real 'puppy' with massive success. It was a lot of work though for her to have the relationship she has with him now.

Then this Katie Barnes comes in and gets it all in one shift. Lucy is losing her damn mind most of the ep. Watching from afar with massive jealously. Poor Jackson has to listen to it most of his shift LOL Comes with the bestie territory though. By the end of the episode she see's Tim filling out her paperwork and lets Tim have it. What I love is he doesn't get mad at her for it.

Doesn't reprimand her just quell's her insecurities. Explaining why he was training Barnes the way he was. Then seals the scene with the lovely line above. Lucy is absolutely beaming when he walks away. Full of so much joy and happiness she can't contain herself. He thinks she is one of the best rookie's he's trained and lets her know it. Saying maybe one day Katie could be as good as her. *sigh* So good.

5. 3x01 Consequences

Their first marriage episode of the season. Where Lucy is on Tim like white on rice. Her confidence and self esteem shines through out this season and this is the starter episode of it all. The way they go through Nolan's house together is fantastic. She challenges Tim the entire time with her own cop gut. It's so fun to watch the back and forth.

They go from cute banter to Tim being a fierce protector when they have to go see Rosalind. Tim tries to prevent her from going in. Wanting to shield her from this monster. Lucy refuses says she can handle it. Rosalind just see's someone she can play with. Tim attempts to hold back. Not interfere and tries to keep Lucy steady. Then loses it when she taunts Lucy with her barrel song. The official title of 'Fierce protector.' is born in this moment. Such a good episode for them beginning to end.

~~~

Honorable Mentions

3x02 In-Justice

I adore this ep because it is one giant flirting session. The scene above alone is proof of that. Tim just sitting back and enjoying the Lucy show. Setting up a game he knows she is going to absolutely crush. (and does) They're legit flirting in front of their call for like two minutes before they disengage and Lucy works her magic. Also we get to see how soft Tim is for Lucy and gone for her with her car. Telling her to get over until Caleb PTSD in brought into the picture. It's then he caves instantly. Also the introduction of their pseudo daughter Tamara. Lucy's 'puppy.'

3x04-Sabotage

The fruit of the last couple eps coming to fruition. Lucy having Tim revisit something he did on her first shift. Confronting him about how he treated those gardeners. Not only that but the impact he had on them through his actions. This brings Tim's defenses immediately up and he snaps at her. Trying to defend his actions because he is feeling defensive. He does a poor job of it and shuts down completely. Reason being he's ashamed of who he was then and Lucy bringing it up hurts in a way he wasn't expecting.

We get to see our boy go through some serious growth. MASSIVE growth really. I could not be prouder of him for it. For not shutting down for the rest of the day. Letting Lucy know he was wrong and what he can do so it never happens again. Love this ep for the Tim growth, Lucy calling him out and letting him know how proud she is of him. It's such a good moment/ep for them.

3x07 True Crime

I personally LOVE the documentary episodes so much. The reason being their banter is the best part. Their chemistry is on full display for all to see. Lucy owns Tim's ass in this one. Shoots down all his cocky comments. He is also all heart eyes whenever she isn't crushing him with her words ahha. Light hearted fun ep for them.

3x08 Bad Blood

Good ep for Tim telling her like it is when he's trying to avoid it like the plague haha Emmett breaking up with her over text. Lucy doesn't handle it well. She self destructs till Tim does what he does best and gives her some solid perspective. Helping her finally solve the 'Why' behind her break up.

3x05 Lockdown

Tim and Lucy being a united front against Doug is the absolute best. How Tim comes tearing into the station after Stanton and Lucy has to stop him. Then Stanton is an extra ass and Tim then has to prevent Lucy from hurting him. The way they have each other's backs always gets to me. They spend the entire episode this kick ass duo determined to protect Jackson. I love it sfm.

~~~~

Season 4 another super hard one for me but top ten helped.

4x09 Breakdown

I'm sure some of you thought I would choose 4x22. It follows this one pretty closely but I ADORE this episode. It's my favorite for so many reasons. Lucy has a day off and how does she spend it? With Tim and his sister redoing his childhood home. Totally normal 'Friend' status there. Nothing soulmate level about that at all....Then they spend the episode chasing down his father's sordid past. This is due to a gun they find in the wall. Not only that but how heavily Tim leans on Lucy during the process.

Let's her take the lead and trusts her to handle portions of it for him. Like interrogating his dad's former mistress. Then we get this GLORIOUS scene above. Hands down my favorite hug of their's. Tim confronting his father and walking out feeling nuclear in his emotions. He is radioactive from that interaction and so very hurt. He explains what his father did to Lucy. He's so disgusted and hurt.

Then he is NEEDING Lucy to know he isn't his father. That the Tim tests don't make him like his dad. He is on the verge of tears as he says this to her. The most vulnerable we have ever seen Tim in general but especially with her. Lucy jumping into action and gathering him up in her arms. Comforting him, letting him know he is NOTHING like him. Tim sinks into the hug. Wraps himself entirely around her. Letting her hold him up emotionally. It's here we see the last of his wall crumble to the ground never to be rebuilt again. This was the ep I knew we were headed towards them getting together. All time fav ep.

2. 4x22 Day in The Hole

So much to love in this episode. From their daughter getting her ‘first’ car to finding Tim's bizzaro world double 'Dim' LOL Also the introduction of Juicy aha It's so good I can not. Lucy getting beyond excited to get Tim all dressed up for his UC mission. Especially with the tattoo's. Then when Juicy gets involved so does Lucy. It's AU Tim and Lucy and I was dying. Lucy breaks his brain in more ways than one above. The way she stuns him with her UC background for their characters LMAO He stumbles on his words and shifts like his pants are getting little tight for him heh. They haven't even kissed yet.

It will forever crack me up his reaction. Also the hilarious lead up to the kiss. How nervous and awkward they are. 'Well that's romantic....I wasn't trying to be romantic.' LMFAO. Clearly Timothy.... Eric and Melissa's chemistry on full display in this moment. Then the way Lucy just grabs his face and the kiss above happens. How they instantly melt into each other. Like why haven't we been doing this the entire time? You can see Tim ready to seriously deepen the kiss above. The pre-tongue action going on. Hot damn. I remember having to rewind it making sure what I was seeing was real.

The hilarity that ensures when Tamara walks in is so so funny. Never not cackle at this. Lucy's 'Oh!' and Tim is stumbling over himself to get out of there. Makes me laugh just writing it. The awkward 'Good jobs' and pointing. I'm dying. Tim's epiphany in the hallway is the best. Can no longer run from how he feels anymore. That kiss unlocking why he's felt the way he does. The awkward way they interact at the station. Both hiding in their vehicles waiting to find the courage to come out. Gah such a good finale leading to an incredible season 5.

3. 4x12 The Knock

Another episode on the road to them ending up together. They are at soulmate level territory in the scene above alone. The entire episode is fantastic. 'Personal space I don't know her' is the theme of this episode for them. From this 'date' to their case. Where Tim lets her take the lead. They're right on top of each other in that hallway scene when Tim is asking her POV on what they should do.

The beach date is one of the best parts. I don't know how both Ashley and Chris didn't just get up and leave. It's so obvious Tim and Lucy are the ones on a date. Chris and Ashley just happen to be there. The way they flirt the entire time, the inside jokes, the way they know each other so deeply. Their intimate connection on full display.

It's the lack of space I adore so much. That magnetic pull of their's. Never be over Gerald the goat. The way they lovingly stare at each other after he's told the story. The only ones laughing are them. To think either of them (Chris and Ashley) actually thought they had a chance against their bond. Such fools. I would've been highly threatened after that display. Something so intimate about knowing someone on an emotional level like they do. Height of their soulmate moments in this one.

4. 4x18-Backstabbers

Gah this episode be still my damn shipper heart. Lucy getting annoyed she isn't getting any recognition as Tim's aide. Naturally at first Tim pushes against it. Gives her crap for asking for it. Little bit of Old school Tim coming out in this scenario. But we see by the end of the episode him cracking for her. Like he always does. Tim cashing in on the dance he owed her from 3x14. How these two don't know they're in love at this point I couldn't tell you. Blows my damn mind.

The fact that he gives up recognition for her to have it. To further her career and telling her he wants her to be successful? Gah not to mention the heart eyes in this moment. Lucy is beaming brightly like a Christmas tree at this gesture. Tim is so so gone for her by this point it's oozing out of him. If you watched these two above with no context you'd think they were together. Everything about them says how in love they are. The entire scene is one giant I love you/in love with you moment. Tim I don't do weddings Bradford tearing up the dance floor with his girl. Gah I can not.

5. 4x01-Life and Death

The premiere is so very very good. Tim offering her a safe space the moment they get some time alone. Especially after hearing how heartbroken she is. How she can't go back to her apt without Jackson right now. The way he gives her a safe place to crash land into. I love it sfm. Then we get the gloriously intimate and beautiful hug above. The one that sparks the flame between them. One they've been trying to keep at a low flame roaring into an inferno. Their emotions and closeness ramping it up to a level neither is ready for.

The chemistry in this moment is out of this world good. Both being smacked in the face with the growing UST between them. Lucy going for it but it being shot down by Wesley's call. Gah such a good way to start an amazing season. Then Lucy spends the rest of the episode worrying about him from the other side of the world. Letting him know that worry until he makes it back. Such a good premiere.

Honorable Mentions

4x07 Fire Fight

This scene alone is why it's my first honorable mention. Phew lord. The fiery UST in this scene. HOT DAMN. The brazen way they're both looking at each other. This is totally platonic friendship right here....The intense gaze gets me in my shipper feels. Then Tim gets his wits about him a bit before sassing her. Telling her the mic is too high. Her ripping it right off and his face LOL They're so married it kills me. I do love the way she bosses him around in this scene and afterwards when he's in the car. She's projecting jealously entire time.

4x06 Poetic Justice

Oh you know just another episode where all they do is compete and flirt. Not caring about anyone else around them while they do so. Because they can't handle their emotions yet. So they intensely channel it into flirting and competitive things instead. I love these idiots so much.

4x08 -Hit and Run

I LOVE this episode for the Tim background alone. We get the introduction of his sister Genny. Who I love sfm. Lucy of course eats up her being there. She THRIVES on any morsel of info she can get on his background. Lucy is enjoying herself till his dark childhood is brought up. His sister is there to sell their childhood home and he doesn't want to be apart of it. ""Wha-what do you want? Some other family to just cuddle up under the broken plaster where dad slammed my head against the wall?" Ugh my heart. My boy. But it's such a good episode in full for Tim. Also for Lucy getting to meet his sister.

4x14-The Long Shot

This is a great episode for Lucy. We get to see more about her background as well. Finally finding out why her mother is the way she is with her. Her deep digging revealing her father isn't her real father. How much she struggles in this episode emotionally. We get to see how natural it is for Tim to be there for her. Not an ounce of fight left in him to stay out of her personal life. This is just part of who they are now and it's such growth I can not stand it.

4x16-Real Crime

Another gem for the documentary series. If you think they were married in this last one they double down on this one. The amount of cuteness, sass and marriage moments is primo in this one. 'Can I be interviewed alone?' LMAO The epitome of Grumpy x Sunshine. Lucy having the time of her life while Tim is a grumpsaurous. Their dynamic gives me life haha I adore this entire episode for them.

S5 I adore all it's own. If you want a ranking from 1-22 I can do that but I can not choose. Hurts me too much to do that LOL but here are my picks for 1-4. Once again thank you for being so patient on my reply. This was a hefty ask to answer thank you for asking me :) I hope you enjoy the answer.

[gizkasparadise]

2023 wrapped: cdrama edition!

taking a page from @dangermousie and doing an overview of all the cdramas i watched this year (i'll do one for kdramas later)! listed in order of least favorite to most favorite. favorite =/= objectively best/most well-made. just the ones i had the most fun watching.

15 have a crush on you. oh dear lord. this drama should be a case study for what happens when a bad drama has charismatic actors and they keep you trapped hostage. i watched this whole damn thing hating every minute of it on behalf of the poor female lead who definitely deserved better. the ending? absolutely batshit, and not in a fun way. one of the weirdest, worst endings ive seen since with you

14 back from the brink. too kitschy for me, i didn't last long on this one (i think 2 eps lol).

13 gone with the rain. i wanted to like this one because i love sean sun and troll general is exactly what i want out of life. but i didn't like the weird daydream asides, constant animal noise sound effects, and i found everyone kind of off-putting in a non-watchable way, so i peaced out really quick--ep 4ish

12 here we meet again. i love janice wu. i continue to try out her dramas hoping for something to grab me again. this one was pretty boring/too focused on the work element and not the rest of it.

11 exclusive fairytale. i have a secret weakness for youth-to-working-life dramas, so tried this one out. flat, not a lot of chemistry, and very color-by-numbers. the show was clearly made to vehicle jun, and that's okay, but not my thing

10 the starry love. i wanted to like this one because the side characters were fun and i loved the male lead/prince of heaven and all his awkward "please leave by 9" energy. but it bored me overall and unlike most folks i had no interest in the demon secondary ship. i dropped around ep 10

9 my journey to you. it kills me to rank this one so low because it was my most anticipated cdrama this year, but i just couldn't get into it. the pacing was too slow for me, and i couldn't stand how everyone talked to each other (long. pauses. and then. staring. and then. whispers. always the. whispers). i dropped this around midway

8 the love you give me. the chemistry between the leads was cute and it was a decent modern romance. started losing me around the midpoint when the paternity reveal hit and the ML got way into boundary crossing because of it

7 circle of love. objectively not a good drama. in fact, a toxic and batshit drama that has probably made me a worse person for watching it. but gd did my messy ass enjoy the trainwreck.

6 road home. you really got to be in the mood for this one, but it's a nice, understated and slow melo romance. but def not a bingeable show since it takes its time with everything

5 wonderland of love. another drama that i dont think is objectively great, but two competent schemers/martial artists trying to one-up each other is like ship catnip for me and this was a show that lived or died by its ship. surprisingly tame for the screenwriter, and had a happy ending! popcorn watch.

4 till the end of the moon. me and this drama were in a bad romance, which i suppose is thematically appropriate. i hated parts of it, i was super invested in others. the post-dream human arc was giving wuthering heights tragic obsession incredibleness. even with its flaws, i think most of cdramaland is in agreement that lyx/tantai jin stole the ML competition this year. great gowns, beautiful gowns

3 story of kunning palace. i adored the characters in this drama! even when the plot was losing my interest, everyone was cast so well and had so much charisma that i stayed pretty hooked from ep 10ish on. absolutely loved the mean high school theatre director wreck that was xie wei, as well as the other (imo) true love interest of the show, princess leyang. the desperate speech about being like iron is gonna live rent-free in my head

& then 1&2 are way ahead of the others for me this year/a very close race between them!

2 a journey to love. i love this drama so much!!! i have not skipped or speed watched a single scene which for me is a huge feat! great character work across the board -- even the side characters have a lot of nuance and interesting dynamics between them. beautiful fight scenes. great ost. one of the best, most balanced main couples ive seen in a show. it's gonna break my heart in a few eps when it ends, but i'll be happy about it

1 lost you forever (s1). this drama came out of NOWHERE and the vicegrip it had on me while it was airing!!! my favorite FL this year (although a journey to love's ruyi is a close second), and just a ton of fun while also being quietly devastating in parts. i loved how lived in and tired the FL felt, enjoyed the various flavors of mess from her love interests, and enjoyed how extra it could go while still giving us really grounded and complicated characters. this drama gets extra points for converting me on several actors i did not think that highly of before the show.

overall, despite how many i dropped (lol writing it out made me realize i dropped so, so many), cdramas delivered for me this year! my top two are on my short list for favorite dramas, period. everyone go watch a journey to love and lost you forever if you havent yet!!!

AWARDS

Favorite ship: definitely goes to ruyi and yuanzhou from a journey to love. it's just nice to see a couple that mutually supports each other's murders

Favorite FL: xiaoyao from lost you forever with ruyi from journey to love as a very close runner-up. i am here for this year's theme of competent, jaded ladies trying to reclaim their lives

Favorite ML: objectively, tantai jin from till the end of the moon should win this, but story of kunning palace's xie wei was just so entertainingly grumpy, petty, and unhinged which is a winning combo for me.

Favorite 2FL: princess yang ying from a journey to love. she's doing amazing and im proud of her!!

Favorite 2ML: technically third male lead, but xiang liu from lost you forever was my favorite to watch and had the best tuxedo mask exits

Best Cast: a journey to love, i literally adore all of them, even the ones i hate

Best Blood Cough: tantai jin, you beautiful bastard who needs a bib

[jemmo]

utsukushii kare really said we’re going to take two of the most fascinating, interesting, well-characterised characters to have ever been written and not just stick them in the same show, but put them in one of the most incredible relationships to be seen on screen and i cannot thank them enough for it. seriously, if you consider the fact that at this point we’re at ep 8 of a 30 minute runtime show; that’s 4 hours. i’ve watched other bls, heck even other ordinary shows, that can’t even cram enough characterisation into a character that hira or kiyoi have in their little fingernail. im not joking. and nothing shows that better than kiyoi in this ep.

i love that we’re already getting an episode from his perspective. we had to wait all the way until ep 4 of season 1 to see things from his side, and that was such an amazing twist and reveal and still to this day that ep makes me cry. but im so glad we get to see his perspective sooner. bc we don’t need that shock twist anymore, instead it serves as a good balance to see where both our characters are at in the first 2 eps. and yet again, seeing things from kiyoi’s pov just opens up the absolute treasure trove that is his character. there are so many stand out points from this ep that i wanna mention but I’ll wait until my big ‘favourite parts of utsukushii kare s2 ep2’ post to list them all. what i wanna say here is that every bit of his character we get to see in this ep comes together so well to create such an interesting, multi-faceted and well-rounded character that it’s kind of astounding. we start off with his softness and vulnerability that’s countered perfectly against hira’s timid reaction, and then we jump back to high school to see this full on longing and the frustration that comes with that, waiting to be confessed to. i wanted to say this about the first season but this serves a good opportunity too; I find it so interesting how they portray hira and kiyoi’s ‘seme and uke’ dynamic (im gonna use those terms bc i can’t think of any better way to describe it, just know im referring more to a more dominant vs more submissive personality, like the confesser vs the confesse, and not anything sexual). You could so easily watch this show, hear the premise, even see the characters, hira and his chronic shyness, kiyoi and his undeniable popularity, and easily place those labels; hira the uke, kiyoi the seme. but in reality, kiyoi so clearly wants to be the uke, and very much is the uke. he begs in his head for hira to confess his feelings fo him, half bc maybe he needs hira to be brave where he can’t be, but I think also half bc he just wants to be confessed to. He wants the boy he likes to tell him he likes him, just like he wants to cuddle in his lap and be looked after. it probably stems from this want to be loved, chosen to be loved, and be cared for where he felt he wasn’t before, but it’s just so refreshing and such an interesting subversion of expectations, to see inside cool, popular kiyoi’s head and it’s just him begging for this shy, nobody kid to like him, and say it out loud.

and then I’ve touched on this before, but you get to see his earnest drive and passion to do what he loves. the cool kid that should fit the stereotype of never caring about anything, pushing to do the thing he loves, putting himself out there. I just can’t describe how excellent of a subversion that is. and the way he is with people at work, with Anna, polite and cordial and sweet, it’s such a reverse of kiyoi’s tsundere shortness and bluntness with hira that it not only shows us that yes, we weren’t hallucinating, there really is an infinite pool of softness within kiyoi that pours out more and more every time we see him, but also shows us that kiyoi is maybe only his true self with Hira. he’s not this polite, nice boy, nor is he this cool, cold popular guy, he’s somewhere in the middle, a fascinating mix of both, that only hira gets to see the full extent of, and I think that says a lot about how comfortable he is with Hira, and how much he trusts him. as much as it may be bad that hira will never find fault with kiyoi, it also makes him his sanctity, his true safe place, where he can breathe and grow and truly be whatever he wants, soft, angry, cute, cool, vulnerable, hira will take it all and adore it no matter what.

and then we get his jealousy of koyama, his protectiveness and possessiveness of hira. it’s kind of endearing how he still feels these things when hira shows him such endless devotion, it’s a testament to how normal he sees their relationship compared to hira, and how he therefore allows himself to feel normal relationship things, including possessiveness. but also in this scene i really love how kiyoi is let’s himself doubt himself, and only when it comes to hira. i feel like we’ve only ever seen him been unsure of himself when it comes to the things he loves, namely his dream of being a performer, and hira. he only looses confidence when he doesn’t do well in the competition in high school, and is only ever doubtful when it comes to hira’s feelings about him, and how he is with hira, maybe bc they’re the only things he truly wants to last forever. so what does he do, just like he does with his acting career? he puts in sincere effort. he humbles himself taking that recipe from koyama, and despite his cluelessness and clear lack of skills, he still tries his absolute hardest to do something for hira. he cooks him a meal, one of the most ordinary and sincere expressions of love. and his shy smile the whole time, him waiting excitedly for hira to come home, it’s such a fantastically endearing contrast from the cold, removed kiyoi we know early in s1 that you almost can’t reconcile them as the same character, and yet the steps that got us here make it clear that they are in fact the same person, that both those people live inside kiyoi and that’s amazing. and of course something as ordinary as cooking a meal for your boyfriend can never be normal for hira and kiyoi but the chaos unfolds is what makes them absolutely them. it mirrors what kiyoi says at the start of the ep about Hira, ‘if it wasn’t disgusting, it wouldn’t be hira’. It’s the same for kiyoi, and the same for their relationship. they don’t want to change it fundamentally, don’t want to take away the things that make it them, they just want to find a way to take this thing they both want and love and build it, strengthen it, so it can last. and i’ll say it until I’m blue in the face, but that’s why kiyoi’s personality, his bluntness, works so well for hira. it provides this iron wall of reassurance based in truth that he needs. I think ‘im not dating a pebble’ might be my stand out line from a bl in 2023 already but it’s also so ridiculously laced in meaning. Kiyoi doesn’t see hira as just some rock, some insignificant thing on the side of the road, that’s not what he’s dating. He’s dating hira, the person. And I think this push for hira to see himself as a person is only something that kiyoi can do because, in a way, hira was the one to see Kiyoi first. I’m a different way, because of the complex hira still has around kiyoi, he may not be a person yet, but hira still saw him in a way no one else did because he cared enough to look and keep looking. He stared and stared at every bit of kiyoi, including the uncool parts, the embarrassing parts, the sweet parts, the upset and angry parts, he’s the one that saw it all and never once looked away. The invisible kid made him feel seen. And I think for someone that’s always looked at but never seen, that’s what you really want.

So yes, this may have collapsed into another ramble, but I hope I can just convey some of the sense of how whole of a character kiyoi feels, even just by the points in this ep. And I just love that he’s allowed to be it all, be chaotic and messy and imperfect and a work in progress while still helping hira along too. I’ve never seen a bl couple that feel so much like they’re growing together, figuring themselves out as people and as a couple and it’s just so fucking refreshing and interesting and beautiful to watch and i will never ever shut up about it

[calliettes-posts]

Would you rank the skam wlw seasons? and could you justify the rankings? I am interested in your opinion. sorry my english :)

Your English is fine! And sorry for the late reply, I just finished s2 of skam españa so that I can answer this properly

1. Fatou (Druck s6)- now this is me being completely biased, but watching Fatous season live honestly was so life changing, I've never seen a black main character be so portrayed in a beautiful and caring way in Germany, and I honestly adore Fatou. I love that her season didn't deal with a coming out, but that she was already an out and proud lesbian, and I honestly LOVE how they portrayed her and Kieu Mys culture. For me, when it comes to black sapphics and sapphics of colour, I feel like they always make their culture a point of conflict, but with Fatou and Kieu My, their sexualities and culture could just coexist without any problem, and that is so special to me. And I absolutely love Kieu My, I love how well fleshed out she is, how we learn more and more about her throughout the season, and how she's more than what she portrays, how she just wants to be seen and not have to be perfect and please everyone all the time, how much pressure she puts upon herself just to make everyone happy, and so much more, I also love how they used her social media to document how and when exactly Kieu My stopped performing and started ro just be herself. Also back to the culture, I loved how they referenced Fatous, Kieu Mys and Avas cultures, it felt like it was made for bipoc watchers, and not to educate the white audience, and that is what made it so authentic imo, because as a black person, I don't need explanation for certain things, like for example when ava explained how mailin behaved at the protest, I immediately understood why she was bothered by it, and so did fatou, and that was realistic, its the small things, but that made me relate to the characters so much more, or when fatou face timed her relatives and relied on her dad to translate to her, these moments are so special to me. I also love the symbolism throughout the season, from Kieu My being the axolotl and Fatou the tortoise to the astrology references to Kieu My being the ice queen and Fatou the warmest person ever, how well they complemented etc etc. Also: " Kieu My, du bist so schön. Ich hab mir ne Liste gemacht an Dingen die so schön an dir sind. Wie du zum beispiel immer deine ohren hinter deinen haaren versteckst, wie du so eng mit deiner Familie bist, und dass du so krass gut mit Horrorfilmen bist. Aber am meisten lieb ich wenn du lachst. Weil dann seh ich dich. Und wie viel liebe in dir ist."Like hello???? Also, the entirety of Sonntag, 13:28, and how they related and bonded with each other through their experiences of being a child in an immigrant family. Generally, I love how much care was put into this season, and that's why Fatous s6 and kieutou will always be on top for me. Also, it's the remake where I don't need any translations for lol

2. Anaïs (Wtfock)- now I know the writing has been disappointing since ep7, but honestly, I am sosososososo grateful to have Anais as a main character in a skam remake. I honestly love her, I love how loyal, caring, and kind she is, and there's nothing that could make me hate her, like that's my nigerian sister, I honestly never thought that we'd get nigerian sapphic rep, and I'm so here for it. As for Anobbie, I love how their development was shown from ep1 to 6, especially ep3, that ep felt like it was straight out of a rom com, from anobbie fleeing together from that Fries place and getting closer to the subtle flirting of Bobbie, to Bobbie looking out for and helping out Anais at the party and with her friends drinking away her dads alcohol, to Bobbie opening up to Anais about her dad and showing her the place where her fathers ashes were sprayed, to Anais and Bobbie getting closer, to Anais arranging a date meeting with bobbie, to Anais playing "I'm gonna make you love me" and making Bobbie dance with her, to Bobbie finally kissing her, like it was so beautiful to watch. Also, I love how anobbie complements eachother and how theyre exactly what the other person needs, Bobbie makes Anais feel free and able to stand up for herself and feel like she's herself, and Anais makes Bobbie feel safe and provide a sense of stabilty, they really adore eachother and would go to great lengths to protect eachother, and I honestly love to see it. Also they reminded me a lot of kieutou, and alone for that they're high on the list. Also, just like Kieu My, I love how fleshed out Bobbie is as a love interest, she's such an interesting character that you want to know more of, and whether you love her or hate her, you pay attention to her, that's how interesting she is and im so here for it. And after druck, they're the remake where I need the least amount of translation for lol

3. Cris- (skam españa s2)- I just finished watching it, and omg, crisana literally invented gay staring, from their first meeting their eye contact was so insane, it got me giggling and kicking my feet lol. I really liked the season, I loved how reassuring and supportive Cris friend group is, how they were there for her every single time she had problems with Joana, and generally they seem like such a sweet friend group, and now i see why they're most peoples fave girl squad. As for crisana, they were so cute, I love how much they adored eachother, and I really love how reassuring cris was with joana at the end, telling her that she won't run away and that she'll be there for her. I also loved howbwe could see just how much cris cared for joana, like she cried in almost every single clip after joana disappears. honestly sometimes forgot that this was an evak remake lol, but I think it did the OG justice

4. Lola (skam france s6)- I don't remember much from lolas seasons except that it was veeeeryy dark, and that she could never catch a break, like why did they make her suffer so much? I feel like her and Maya could've had more development because their relationship felt rushed to me, but they were really cute, and I really love the scene where Maya draws on lola while she's laying there crying, it feels to intimate and special. Also, just like Bobbie, Lola is a polarising character, and I love those types of characters, especially female ones

5. Maya (skam france s9)- this never happened, mayla are still happily together while they work on their issues through proper communication, lola never broke up with Maya, and they still have their tattoo together

But honestly, this was so disappointing, the first time a LI got a season, and then we don't even learn anything about the LI at the end, it feels they just made the season to have an excuse to break up mayla, but we already knew that

[awigglycultist]

Do you need to watch Nightmare Time to watch Nerdy Prudes Must Die?

Well I'm here to answer that question!

Simple answer: no you don't have to but it would be better for you if you did so you could understand a couple things better.

Long answer:

(possible slight spoilers below cut, it's literally just a list of episodes, no reasoning as to why I feel you should watch it, but if you have seen this eps and think you'll be able to get info about npmd based off the episodes then stop reading)

Here's the episodes you should watch in order of most important to least important

- Abstinence Camp (definitely the most important, it introduces you to several of the characters in npmd)

- Time Bastard (only slightly more important then the ones below)

- Watcher World; Honey Queen; Yellow Jacket (they're of equal importance for npmd in my mind)

Again you don't have to watch any of these, you'll understand NPMD perfectly fine without having seen anything from NMT. However there's a few moments and characters and stuff that you'll understand better if you've seen these episodes.

And honestly, you should watch all Nightmare Time episodes, there is TONS of lore!! Yes I know watching the first episode might be pretty painful bc of the low quality but trust me when I say: it gets better!! After ep 1 they edited the livestreams them did of ep 2 & 3 so it's a lot better. And then for season 2 the completely pre-recorded it instead of livestreaming so again its way better. And the stories are worth it! Again there's so much lore and the stories are fun and emotional and awesome and crazy and there's great new characters.

[autisticbokutoenthusiast]

in celebration of the finale: my top 5 moments from each only friends character so far

*top moments here means moments that had me pointing and screaming at my laptop like the leo meme*

we did top, mew, boston, and nick, next up: ray

now ray is my favourite character, hes my guy, hes my begrudging blurred reflection so its really hard to narrow down his moments to 5 because there are the times hes so cute and i smile when hes on my screen and the times he says things that were written to destroy me personally and times i want to strangle him for being a little bitch because i get it but also he is a little bitch. but anyway, maybe ill do a different one just for moments that destroyed me and focus on lighter ones here

5. "if you're my friend you'll have to take care of me in every way"

ray was upfront about what the sandray dynamic would be from the beginning there was no pretending it would be anything else lmao. as an enjoyer of "fucked up character who thinks theyre unlovable meets character who is predestined to love and care for them in ways they couldn't imagine", i was immidiately hooked. like a goner. i knew at this moment they would destroy me and i was right. (also if this was a top sandray moments list that cigarette kiss would be number 1, i watched it 7 times in a row last night, altered my brain chemistry again)

4. making sand undress him in the dressing room

the way he just stands there with his hands in the air smiling, fantastic. 10/10 little prince moment

3. let me sleep hereeeeeeeee

the way he barges into the camper in the middle of the night, inserts himself between sand and nick, fights off sand trying to push him off the bed, just to lay down in his spot and wrapping himself around sand. the little "good night nick". perfect. makes me kick my feet and giggle every time

2. pleeeeeeeaaaaaaaaase

great ongoing bit, one that we havent seen as much recently but still very important to me. just pathetic and annoying and perfect

ongoing threesome bit

if i had a nickel for everytime ray suggested/implied a threesome id have 5 FUCKING NICKELS. but really, the first time it happened in ep 2 i was like oh? then when it happened again in episode 5 i was at first too into sandray to initially appreciate it but eventually started to come around to it only for sandray to be too in love for summer to handle. in ep 8, it was clear freddie/freddie/ray was never gonna happen but i was so happy they brought the bit back, i was like wow i forgot about the other two times this was a funny bit for them to make a callback to. when he suggests it a FOURTH time in ep 9, i mean give the man what he wants. which i thought would happen with boeing, but we have yet to see....

[mo-ok]

Top 5 WORST sentais you’ve watched. or simply least favorite bc I know you’re more of a lover than a hater

OK SO these are simply the ones i think about the least since finishing them (i've enjoyed every season i've seen so far, but some just have less staying power in my brain than others)

OR the ones with the most "little annoyances"/characters i cared the least about/etc etc

So this is less of a "worst" list and simply more of a "i liked other things more" list 😂😂😭

5. Liveman - worst ending in the whole franchise. Absolute downer of a show. Two completely wasted rangers who really didnt need to be there/could have easily been made so much better. I would not recommend this show to someone unless i knew them very well and knew they'd get it. 10/10 i fucking love liveman but oh my god OH MY GOD.

4. Dairanger - very enjoyable episode to episode but really fumbled the bag in the second half imo. I love lots of aspects of this season, i love the characters (probably one of the only people in the whole world who doesnt hate Koh lmao), the suits and intro theme are some of my favourites in the whole franchise. But like... what actually happened in dairanger??? Daigo got a bird gf for a minute? Kemp hurt comfort episode???? We played baseball??????

3. King Ohger - i think i would have enjoyed kingoh a whole lot more if i was able to watch it at a faster pace. The general lack of longer fight scenes and robot fights started to weigh on me lmao, i didnt quite realise how important the robots were to me until kingoh took them away 😂😂 again, i enjoyed the show, but i havent thought about it much since it ended

2. Gaoranger - it was great fun and full on and i enjoyed it a lot, but boy howdy did it make me feel TIRED lmao. I watched this directly after watching Gingaman and was still very much in the Hyuuga trenches, which i dont think helped with Gao not sticking around in my mind. Also, didnt like the ending song (the theme song goes hard though, and Gaku remains a special boy in my special boy jar)

1. Kyoryuger - I remember really enjoying it and its characters, the bad guys were fun and the music goes hard. But there are a few factors that work together to sadly have it end up at the bottom of my sentai pile

- i find myself not really thinking about it AT ALL unless its right in front of me lmao.

- I have a lot of love and nostalgia tied to PR Dino Charge which kinda clouds most of my kyoryu memories

- tyler/shelby >>>>>> king/amy

- fav thing about kyoryu is Utchy and he wasnt even in the kingoh crossover eps wtf

- i think i have simply watched too much since watching Kyoryuger. I definitly am glad i watched it early on, cause i genuinly feel like i'd probably enjoy it less if i watched it now (i did however recently rewatch the Souji parents episode for the dynaman brain rot 10/10 junichi haruta my beloved)

[badxwolf]

So I’ve been watching Doctor Who with a friend, it’s her first time watching the show and we’re currently on series 7. My plan for when we get to the Day of the Doctor is to do a bit of a detour to watch some classic era episodes. The only problem is I’ve not seen much of classic Who so I don’t know which episodes to pick. I’ve done some research and made a list that I hope will encompass a good balance of companions and villains, but I’d greatly appreciate some advice from people who’ve seen more of the show than I have!

First Doctor:

An Unearthly Child (ep. 1)

The Dalek Invasion of Earth

Second Doctor:

Tomb of the Cybermen

Third Doctor:

Inferno

The Mind of Evil

(Two stories bc I hear Inferno is really good and I also wanted a Delgado Master story)

Fourth Doctor:

Seeds of Doom

Fifth Doctor:

The Five Doctors

Sixth Doctor:

Trial of a Timelord

Seventh Doctor:

The Curse of Fenric

And the Eighth Doctor movie of course!

My goal is to have one story per Doctor, the best companion pairings, and at least one story with the Daleks, Cybermen and the Master. Please let me know what you think! Thank you ❤️❤️

[millepara]

himitsu no aipri episode 1 (a week late)

it's been so long since I've written about a priseries (or any other idol) show... I'm realizing that I legit didn't think I'd ever get the chance again. I got tired of doing it before because I felt like I was either complaining too much (planet) or just happy abt everything that was happening (primagi) and thus had nothing interesting to say either way, but ever since watching aipri on sunday I've been looking forward to this... I think I'm just happy about new idol anime content after such a long drought tbh but it's something good that aipri has already brought us, no matter what you or I think of anything else about it.

I missed the first 5 minutes bc I was reading bad fanfiction in bed to wake up (nigh daily routine) and totally forgot abt aipri... then I did remember and had to sprint to my computer, but the stream kept stopping so I missed some critical stuff throughout. I liked the ep okay, but maybe actually seeing all of it will improve it?

ohhh ok it starts off with those cute lemon coords in the op. actually this does help, those coords are easily my favs that I've seen in aipri so far. esp Mitsuki's blue one is sooo cute... I am saying this as a person that buys every single blue gingham item of clothing I come across though haha. I will say that the coord & dance totally don't match the sort of sweeping fairytale (just mistyped that as dairytale. hm) majesty that the bgm and voiceover is going for, but...

oh, I didn't know that Mitsuki had a snippet of performance in here. I've seen it in gameplay videos already, I like it ok---wow, it's already over.

the way Mitsuki is pausing for her viewers to answer is just like shows for preschoolers... they're really going after that age group, huh. (do actual streamers do stuff like that....?)

oh, I already saw Himari get a call from her sister. looks like I only missed 1 minute.

that is the ugliest anime dog I've ever seen, hands down, but Hiiro is cute. I'm sure she's well on her way to being the Non or whoever the prichan little sister was of aipri, in terms of popularity.

I do think it is very, very interesting that in this pretty series anime which is aimed at perhaps the youngest audience yet, they have put the mc in a dorm, away from her family. weird. actually I am for the first time realizing exactly how many anime have schools with dorms. you'd think japan is overflowing w boarding schools but idk of a single one lmao...

Mitsuki: it sure was the right decision to move into the dorm!

Himari: (completely ignores her statement to bring up aipri)

Himari's look out of aipri is really cute, I've finally decided. it's a shame that her twintails as an aipri are such a weird shape??? why do they curve up on the outside like that, all I can see is a large intestine when I look at them...... :(

the first time I watched this my internet cut out just as Mitsuki's face was approaching Himari's. I knew what she was doing bc of the comic in the aipri fanbook, but still it was like, oh! looks like it's gonna be another totally straight pretty series show!

oh man, the op. the song itself is cute and catchy, but this vtuber's voice is just too much, and it gets more too much as the song goes on. I get the appeal of her being a "real-life aipri", and presumably she's popular so her fans might be drawn to watch, but I hope she doesn't sing the next op too..... oh you know what would be kind of cool is if every op was sung by a different vtuber. that way if one sucked we wouldn't have to hear them again, and they'd showcase a lot of different people.

Meganee is especially exceptionally cute in her op cameo!!!

oh. A Crush. let it be insignificant 🙏 but if they become idol princesses too I'll allow it.

I like Chii's voice a lot, and her passion regarding aipri, but on the list of things I'm finding myself saying "oh. shame :( " about is her unfortunate hairstyle. also speaking of things that remind me of other things, her name Chii Mamiya sounds like "chi mamire" (blood-soaked) or "chi mame" (blood blister). surely I am not the only Japanese understander who hears this.

Yusa Kouji-sensei has by far my fav character design in this show. he is officially my favorite aipri.

wow, it's the classic post-covid tv broadcast opening ceremony... a chillingly real element in this fantasy rich kid school. irl this is the first year since covid we've had in-person opening ceremonies in many schools, it's a shame they don't get to at paradise academy yet lmao

I'm not even going to touch this whole welcome speech. I'm just going to slowly back away and pretend like I didn't see anything.

I love the aikatsu-level background character design in this classroom!! bicolor twintails is cute.

I wonder if these elementary schoolers are relevant or are just there to show how many people are watching Himari.

lmao despite what I said about Chii I think we were sharing the same braincell when she said "Her Victoria levels are out of control!!" they totally are!!

am I misunderstanding this or did Victoria not ban aipri? didn't she say "in moderation" only...? this is literally the same kind of thing schools say irl abt cutting down on screen time. just more dramatic.

so the elementary kid is relevant. Yuma... will he be an aipri too? if not, why would he even exist?

I didn't catch the first time around that this bracelet was the one uh, Candy Motif was fiddling with in the student council meeting. where'd she get it from?

this is the least amount of love I've ever seen put into a commercial break eyecatch.

are the aimus... cute? I can't see it...

it's very funny that the lipstick immediately disappears when they go 3d. they knew it looks bad, and they've still gotta cram it in there for that single second to sell toys.

this cgi. I think everyone's said it so far, but it's really not the best... I think I might like the game's graphics a little better, even. I do like seeing the coords lit up at least.

P.O.P.P.Y is a cute enough song. it's just barely on the listenable side of the line for me, but I do think it's a great match for what aipri is going for. also that is definitely a dance that was made for preschoolers to imitate.

buzzalyume... idk if anyone is aware or not, but buzz is a word that's in really common use regarding social media in japan atm. like you would say "that's buzzing" (literally I mean, figuratively it's more like "that's all the buzz" like the english use of the word) about something that's all over your timeline or whatever. so it's not totally out of left field for them to choose that word in particular, but it doesn't mean that it sounds any less forced, that's for sure!!

Bear Bear Bear's voice is cute.

I don't like these emoji reactions all over the screen. not cute.

the ed is cute.

...finally, I watched it all. whew. I have to say, I was not wowed by it! but it was fine. it's far better than having no pretty series at all. I keep thinking "I'll put off my opinion till I know more about it" about aipri and I'm tempted to say it again now--in this episode we barely met the main two characters in favor of worldbuilding. it kind of makes sense as the first ep of a little kid show, but will the rest of the show stay at this same level of character depth? it's way too early to say. but for me, that's what'll determine how much I like it.

[starseneyes]

Chenford REWIND - Lucy Chen / Tim Bradford - The Rookie - Season 2 Ep 2

"The Night General" AKA Somebody to Lean On

This one came in as a request, and it's one that I'm really excited to do. It's fun to take a look at post-Quarantine House Tim/Lucy in more detail, especially considering Tim and Lucy's movement in Episode 1 of the season via her standing up to him and his respect of her.

SPOILER ALERT: This episode and everything that came before it are fair game. If you wish to remain un-spoiled, please don't read anymore. I do try to write these as though I'm watching them for the first time without knowledge of the future.

Everyone squared away? Then we're ready to dive in.

"Chief Williams added another book to your Sergeant's Exam Reading List." "Split Second Leadership: Leading Men in the Line of Duty." "Men?" "It's from the 60's. How is this relevant to the 21st century policing?" "Ours is not to reason why, Officer Bradford. Read the book." "Yes sir."

At this point, only Tim knows why this is bad news for him. From the outside, it might look like he is being obstinate or lazy. But Tim is struggling.

My little brother has a learning disability. He's a genius with a learning disability. No, I'm not exaggerating.

My brother can't write or spell. He'll tell you an elaborate story with five-syllable words with perfect grammar, but the minute he tries to write it, it looks like a Kindergartner wrote it.

He had a teacher in college who insisted he was faking it and throwing his papers because he didn't have a written diagnosis from a doctor. He dropped out of school. He never finished.

My point? Learning disabilities can happen to anyone and it's easy to be quick-to-judge. No wonder people don't want to share. No wonder there's so much shame and stigma.

No wonder Tim didn't say anything. No wonder he honestly doesn't know... because, in his family, it would be seen as "less than", "not good enough", a "screw-up".

"If I have to suffer, so do you. So, you're going to read this out loud to me between calls. Only way I'm gonna get it memorized in time." "Or, I could drive and you could read it by yourself."

Admit it, Lucy. You're just looking for an excuse to drive! In all seriousness, it makes sense. But, again, it's easy to assume that Tim's pride in being the one to drive is getting in the way of him "taking this seriously".

"It's hard enough to listen to it without your editorializing."

Okay, I am totally with Tim on this one. Sometimes when we're reading to the kids, Matt will do this, and suddenly 10 minutes of calm reading has turned into 30 minutes of kids bouncing off the walls because they couldn't focus to finish the story straight through.

"You're gonna have to re-read all of this anyway to really memorize it." "No. I memorize best when I hear it." "Really?"

I love this shot. Lucy leaning over the book, tight on her face as she processes the information of how he processes.

My Middle is Autistic/ADHD with an auditory processing disorder and suspected reading processing disorder. Eldest is ADD or ADHD (final diagnosis later this month) and Littlest has her full testing for Autism/ADHD at the beginning of next month. I know a lot about people processing differently.

But as Lucy's wheels are turning, she realizes what might be going on with Tim. But how do you broach a subject like that with TO Era Tim?

Lucy's had fun poking at Tim with the parts of the book she likes (especially the value of every officer), but the whole reason she poked was because of Tim's apparent sense of superiority. Yes, she knows it's a veil, but it's still hard to poke through, at this point.

This is different.

"Why?" "Nothing."

Nothing is never nothing. I think I write this once every other Meta. On this show, nothing is never nothing.

"Boot!" "You might have a learning difference." "What?" "Technically, it's classified as a disability, but it really just means that you're wired to process information differently. In your case, through, through hearing, rather than reading." "I don't have a learning disability."

I remember the conversations with my husband for years.

I told him I suspected he was ADD (my mother, brother, step-father, and step-brother are all ADD/ADHD... the only reason we know I'm not is because my little brother wouldn't take his test without me and Mom taking it, too).

Matthew would shrug it off because he didn't have a "Disorder". But when he was 38, his mother let it slip to me that he was diagnosed at 8... and they never told him. They hid it. They didn't want the stigma.

So, he spent his entire life struggling and not understanding why. He got re-diagnosed at 38, and his first morning on medication, he let me sleep in. I woke to him lying next to me, tears in his eyes.

"The clouds are gone," he breathed into the space between us. And then I was crying, too.

He'd had these clouds his entire life and thought it was just how he was. He didn't know there was help. He didn't know his life could be better. All because his parents hid his diagnosis.

We put so much damn stigma on this stuff that humans are suffering unnecessarily for the sake of societal niceties. And for Tim, there's definitely stigma and shame associated with having a learning disability. It's how he was raised.

"A lot of people have them. I bet Isabel helped you in the Academy, read through the materials and stuff." "We're not talking about this."

Talk about wheels turning... we can see Tim's as he thinks about all the times he and Isabel sat up, her reading to him.

He thought it was the sweetest thing, and it became their thing. I bet she read him other things, too, like fiction books, or autobiographies on his favorite sports figures.

But thinking about Isabel (still a very fresh hurt) and the stigma of having a learning disability is too much for Tim.

Because growing up, any "difference" was called out as a failing. Yes, I know those of you in early S2 don't yet know all of Tim's backstory, so I am reaching forward a little on this one.

But, it's important to understand why Tim reacts so strongly and so swiftly.

Tim ends conversations before he can lose his cool. Losing control could lead him to become the person he hates most in the world, so he does everything to avoid it. But, he's been on edge all year.

Hell, for more than a year. Because ever since Isabel disappeared, he lost that one little piece of his life that made sense.

Then, this ball of sunshine came into his life, blinding him with goodness and light. He tried at first to temper it, but I fully believe that the longer he's in her glow, the more his eyes adjust, and the more he shifts to helping refine her rather than dim that glow.

"Watch your tone, Boot." "Oh, you don't get to call her 'Boot', Rex. You're retired. She's the police, now."

Boom, Baby!! Tim Bradford putting an asshole in his place will always be good television.

"Let's see your bail bonds license and the warrant on your jumper." "You let her talk to you like that?"

Bitch, you don't want to see how I'm gonna talk to you if you don't back off. Tim's not biting on the "camaraderie" angle, here.

As tough as Tim can be, as much of an absolute ass as he can be... he's a stickler for the rules.

"Look, the hole you're in has nothing to do with Lopez. But she's gonna pay the price when the commander's son goes belly-up halfway through training." "I told him it's not her fault." "Yeah, so tell him, again. Lopez bent over backwards for you. She protected your ass when any other TO would've sent you packing. You owe her your career." "I know."

Don't. Mess. With. People. Tim. Loves. Tim and Angela's friendship is one of my favorite relationships on the show. Tim just stood up for Lucy and here he is standing up for Angela.

Now, I'm not saying Tim loves Lucy, yet. We're a long way off from that, if these two get their act together. But, I think it's important to see his consistency.

Tim's Tests might make him seem unpredictable, but there's a reason and a rhythm for everything that he does. And when it comes to his friends—to the people he loves—he's always going to stick out his neck. Even if it means risking himself.

"Do you want me to read to you?" "No." "Come on."

Now that she knows he has a learning disability, she wants to help. Now that he thinks she thinks he has a learning disability, he wants to run.

Lucy is a gentle, kind, loving human. She wants to help. It's her default state. But accepting help goes against everything that was ever beaten into Tim.

It was fine when he was ordering her to read to him. But now that there's a stigma involved, he doesn't want it.

"You have to learn it." "I can do that on my own."

See? And Tim's not trying to be an asshole. He's trying to 'be a man', 'cowboy up', and 'do it on your own'. You know... all the bullshit men are too-often taught from boyhood.

He's shying away from Lucy's help because he's ashamed.

Alright, Future Rachel needs to tell you that Tim Bradford hasn't had an easy life. His childhood was less than ideal. His marriage seemed good until it wasn't.

Seeing the worst in himself is easy, but having others see him as weak in any way? He can't have that. He puts up all this bravado and these thick walls around his heart to protect himself.

Lucy just found another tiny crack in his defenses. And instead of letting her light in to help heal his hurts, he's afraid it will burn.

"Training for the rematch with Nico?"

Tim's blowing off steam. That fight was tougher than expected, and Tim's going to do everything he can to stay in top shape. But, he's also processing.

Lucy processes by talking things out. Tim processes with a punching bag and sweat pouring down his brow. The beautiful thing about people is how different we are, yet we find a way to coexist. We learn to speak one another's languages.

My husband's a BIG gift person. He loves to give and receive. I struggle with physical possessions because of how I grew up.

But I know that small gifts throughout the year help him remember I'm thinking of him (buying his favorite coffee... a latte from the local café). And he knows making me a chai latte at home, or holding me when I'm upset lets me know he's thinking of me.

We love one another. We just don't experience love the same way. Same is true for Tim and Lucy. We're in the phase of them learning how to speak one another's languages. This is crucial if they're ever going to be in a romantic relationship.

Tim greets her almost with a smile as he turns to face her.

"Here." "What's this?" "It is 'Split Second Leadership: Leading Men in the Line of Duty' the Audio book." "The book's out of print. There's no audio book." "Yeah, which is why I recorded one for you."

"Lucy Chen, will you marry me?" I mean, that's what he's supposed to say, right? That's what you would say, right?

Because, let's break this down for a second—she stayed up all night doing this. This morning when she asked him if he wanted her to read to him, she knew what his answer would be.

But then they had this stressful-ass day, and she had to wait for the file to finish rendering, which might've taken all day because audio files with any quality are a beast.

Look, I was a voice over artist for over 20 years. I only left the studio where I was a contract player because I couldn't afford a home studio and now live over an hour from the studio. So, I've done a lot of commercials, on-hold messages, and, yes, books.

The kids especially love my reading of "Elmo Visits the Dentist" that they can listen to on YouTube whenever they want. Why go into all this? I know how long it takes to read a book aloud at a pace that is easy for others to process.

Immediately after learning that her TO needed to listen to learn, she took the damn book home (because she was the one holding it the next morning) and she recorded herself reading it for him.

She likely got no sleep as she set it to render and upload into the device to hand to him while she got ready to leave for work.

I bet she even went home, grabbed the device, then ran back so she could give it to him.

This is a labor of love. No, she's not in-love with Tim. But she cares about him. And this ball of sunshine is radiating in his life more and more.

We are post Quarantine House. We are post Lucy calling Tim on the Isabel stuff she should have reported. We've established that they trust one another.

But this is next level. Six months into her training, and Lucy's already breaking through so many of Tim's walls.

"Uh, listen, I talked to Isabel and from what she said, it's clear you're a kinesthetic learner, which just means you need to listen while you're being active in order to absorb things."

Girlfriend just called up her future husband's ex like a boss. Again, she did this yesterday. Lucy wastes no time when it comes to Tim. Keep that in mind for the future...

"There's no shame in it. Really."

Watch his face. His jaw clench. His body relaxes as he sighs. His eyes soften. Because, all his life any sign of being "different" was weakness. Any sign of being "not good enough" was punishable by pummeling.

Isabel didn't realize he had a learning disability from what we can tell. She just knew that he'd ask her to read to him. My husband and I used to read to one another (pre-kids) and it was a tremendous act of love.

But Lucy put a name to it. And Tim's been spiraling out about it ever since. Because there's a stigma that comes with words like that, tragically.

"Honestly, it's probably why you excel at being a cop."

Tim absorbs her words. She doesn't think he's a freak. She doesn't think he's a project. She doesn't think he's broken. She thinks he's a good cop.

Her view of him hasn't changed because of his learning disability. This is so important.

My Middle has been Autistic his entire life, right? But we only got the official diagnosis when he was 5 because he stopped eating and was rapidly losing weight. A family member actually said "How can I be [related to] an Autistic child?" I said, "You've done a fine job the last 5 years."

Who he is didn't change with his diagnosis. But there are always people who recoil at it because of the stigma associated with it.

Tim was afraid Lucy would think of him differently... but she doesn't. She still sees Tim as the hard-ass, soft-hearted, semi-asshole she has to deal with every day for another six months.

And, strange as it sounds, that's the most reassuring thing Lucy could say to him.

"Thanks."

Lucy ducks her head in a nod as she leaves. It's so sweet. Lucy knows him well enough to understand this is difficult for him. She has a strong understanding of psychology, and a growing understanding of Tim Bradford.

Sticking around won't help him. Letting him get to work will help. She knows him well enough not to hover, and she knows better than to expect compliments from Tim at this phase.

Hell, that "Thanks" was unexpected and I'm surprised she was able to keep moving after she heard it instead of calling it out.

Maybe she just really needs the sleep after all she's done for him. She deserves it!

"Split Second Leadership by Curtis Philbrick, read by the best Rookie you've ever trained."

Tim can't help but smile at that. And it's a real smile. The kind the shows his teeth and reaches his eyes. The kind Lucy won't see, yet.

Lucy offered Tim a piece of herself when she handed over that audio recording. No, it's not romantic. But it is a gift, nonetheless. This was above and beyond anything required of her as a Rookie—she did it as a friend.

And Tim accepted the gift. I don't think we talk enough about this. Lucy sent him food one episode ago and he told her she "shouldn't have". But there's no fighting this gift.

Because the events of 2x01 were a big shift for these two that we don't talk enough about. Lucy making it to the halfway mark and doing well on her exam. Lucy calling Tim on his shit when he tried to distance himself from her by being extra assholery. Lucy going beast-mode chasing that fake cop.

And here we are in 2x02 and Tim who was humbled by Lucy one episode ago is now unintentionally wounded. Because he thinks she sees him as "less than". He thinks her opinion of him somehow lessened because he's been raised to see a "learning disability" as a bad thing.

When Lucy turns it around at the end and says it's his super power, that's powerful. She helped him see himself in a different way. The king of coming at something sideways has met his match. So, what could he say after a gift like that? He wouldn't reject it. He couldn't.

Because Lucy gave him the gift of a shift in perspective. And those readers who are from the future, like me, know he'll repay that gift in a huge way in that same room not too long from now.

They're not in love, yet. But they are on their way to friendship, and learning one another's love languages on the way. So if when they finally arrive at love, it'll be a deep love. It'll be a love that grows. It'll be a love that thrives.

Because true love often takes effort... but it's worth it.

Tim Pays it Forward

Look, Tim takes care of his people. We already know that. But I also like to think that Tim recognized something of himself in Rex thanks to Lucy's kindness.

Rex doesn't like asking for help. Neither does Tim. But if Tim isn't careful, he could end up like Rex.

Now, Rex likely didn't have a Lucy. But, he does have a Tim. And that's damn good, too.

As ever, thank you for reading. This one is one I'm super passionate about with my family history and the children I'm raising.

Now, I'm not going to pretend it's all peachy-keen. It can be really, really tough raising three neurodivergent children, and there are very bad days. But for Tim, his learning disability really can be a super power.

Also, oh, isn't it fun watching Tim and Lucy of Season 2 on their way? So much fun!

Hope your weekend's been lovely! Mine's been so quiet, it's lovely. Currently have three Littles in bed with me as we have a pajama/movie day. It's the little things!

See you on the next!