#this ain’t some mpreg thing just to be clear

[goddessofroyalty]

Fandom: Final Fantasy VII

Verse: Cloud is the Remnant’s carrier

Opened the scribble book to write another thing and found this in there that I kept meaning to type up and forgetting to. It’s also been long enough where I feel like this isn’t in the spoilers territory (which it still kind of isn’t because of how the game actually ended vs this being if Zack’s universe did get merged with the main one)

Tags: mpreg, omegaverse, implications of science fuckery

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It’s weird returning to Elymira’s house after everything.

Aerith and Cloud aren’t upstairs comatose in their recovery from what happened to them. Instead they are right there in the living room – Aerith leaning on Cloud to whisper something in his ear that makes his eyes go wide and glance up at the stairs and back at Zack.

She seems to know what happened in the alternative timelines before they collapsed in on each other so Zack figures she is just telling Cloud about how Zack looked after them both. He pays it no mind how she puts her finger in front of her mouth in clear indication for Cloud not to say anything before grabbing hold of Tifa’s arm and leading her upstairs. She probably wants to show Tifa something in her room. Five years ago Zack wouldn’t have assumed the two of them would be friends but they seem to almost share thoughts at times with how close they are.

It’s nice to know Aerith isn’t as alone anymore.

“Thank you again for looking after my Marlene,” Barret says to Elmyra, drawing Zack back into the conversation as Cloud leans against one of the walls.

“It’s no bother,” Elmyra says. “She’s a sweet girl. A pleasure to look after. Unlike some other children.”

She looks over at Cloud at the comment and Spike just shrugs his shoulders not even meeting her gaze. Zack feels, far from the first time, like he’s missing out on something important.

“Well what do you expect with where they came from?” Barret jokes. “Ain’t no way they weren’t gonna’ be handfuls.”

“I suppose you’re right,” Elmyra says with the same awkward humor and Zack is about to ask what it is they are talking about when footsteps rush down the stairs.

“Daddy!” Marlene calls, throwing herself into Barret’s arms and the tough guide façade of his immediately melts as he wraps his daughter into a tight hug.

“Oh my baby girl I’ve missed you so much,” Barret practically sobs. And it’s sweet to see just how much he cares about his daughter.

The two eventually separates and Marlene goes over to where Cloud is. Waiting for him to kneel down to her height so she can talk to him at mostly the same leave.

“I made sure they were safe,” she says.” Nobody came after them.”

A flicker of surprise crosses Cloud’s face before it settles on a serious one.

“Thank you.”

Marlene nods at it before returning to her dad. She clings onto his leg before finally noticing Zack.

“Who are you?”

“What do you mean who am I?” Zack asks before remembering this isn’t the Marlene he lived with while waiting for Aerith and Cloud to wake up.

He kneels down in front of her because while she may not be the Marlene he remembers she clearly also likes when people talk to her at her level instead of down at her.

“I’m Zack Fair,” he says holding out his hand. “And, well, I don’t know if you will understand but I come from a world where things happened differently.”

“And you knew me?” Marlene asks, curious but firm.

“Sure did! I was kind of like you’re… uncle Zack.” Or close enough to it. And he kind of likes the idea of being called that.

“Uncle huh?” Cloud says and Zack’s a bit surprise he has any comment on it. “Want to meet your nephews then?”

“My nephews?” Zack doesn’t remember there being any other kids staying with Elmyra and even with all the timeline confusion he’s pretty sure he would.

Aerith and Tifa returning downstairs clarifies some of his confusion. Aerith carrying one crying silver-haired baby and Tifa two, more settled, ones.

“Wha-?”

“They’re mine,” Cloud says as he takes the baby off Aerith so she can relieve Tifa of one of the other two. His tone short in the way he talks when he doesn’t want more questions asked. “Hojo.”

“I-“ Zack doesn’t know if Hojo is a better explanation than the one he had immediately thought of when told that Cloud had three silver-haired babies. “Shit Spike.”

“No swearing around the kids!” Barret snaps like this situation doesn’t deserve much stronger curses than shit.

If Zack could he would revive even piece of shit scientist just to kill them himself. Hell, he might see if Aerith can pull some timeline strings so he can go kill some other version of the fucker to see if it will make him feel slightly better at not being able to prevent the asshole from ever getting his hands on Cloud.

Cloud just shrugs.

Zack supposes that’s the only response to give. What else is there to do with three babies clearly made from Sephiroth’s DNA? Give them back to Shinra for whatever lackeys of Hojo’s that are left alive to poke at and try and turn into the next generation of Shinra Super SOLDIERs?

“Okay.” It’s not like Zack’s gonna’ just leave them for Cloud to deal with alone even if it’s clear the others don’t plan on it either. “I’m not sure what to do with a baby but I’ll be the best uncle around.”

And maybe doing that will relieve him of his guild for everyone he failed.

[theamityelf]

dude hear me out on the mpreg aliens bc it gen makes sense for them and I am going to explain this cause it’s kinda cool idk?

ok look as a space faring species population groups are small or non existent, so kn order to avoid dying out they had to adapt to semi asexual reproduction. The mechanics of it I could go into intensely cause it’s something a lot of my other species use if they’re spread over a wide area. To put it simple and without making it WEIRD: one member of the species has both ingredients for la child, but forcing these two ingredients together requires external actions ah la the demonic tango from hell either by yourself or with others. Or surgery. Or a lot of things actually depending on species, some guys kinda just grow little plants literally it’s like jellyfish. Anyways, to keep genetic variation since not having that is bad, the species of aliens (I’m calling them gorpos but obv that’s not gonna be their official names) can co create with other species that are similar to them. By similar, I mean neuron number to body mass (the reason why humans are so… human… is because we have a large number of neurons in compared to our mass). This is just to avoid any freaks making shit I don’t want them too. anyways, this process mixes genes and then sometimes mpreg happens wether or not someone has a womb in the relationship (or we get Yuri but like… hyenas…) because the Gorpos come from these small, like jelly looking eggs, if you’ve seen a mermaids purse (which I used to collect the fuck out of) like imagin that but it doesn’t have the horn things and it’s clear because baby gorpos are translucent. Little guys. The other thing is that like… Gorpos are like just as if not more intelligent as us, some of them just have like a thing for breeding… or mpreg… idk their their own guys they can be whatever they want to

Anyways cannibalism-

that’s another neat thing for them but first ima talk about how their mouths are set up. First thing is their tongue curls, it’s like a probiscus but it’s got this really really thin needle (basically, if they wanna exchange a language or information, they fucking French each other and stick this needle in each others brains, some can do this across species. Freaks) and it’s very sensitive. Two, their mouths are absolutely full of fucking knives. Evolution kinda fucked them over on this one, that’s why they gotta keep their tongue curled up. Three is if you see one with its mouth visible outside of feeding, run. Basically if they see something that looks like them with a visible mouth or no antenna, it’s their uncanny valley since that means something is BERY wrong (Junko).

ok so they very much are built for eating raw meat literally, and that’s what they do. Cannibalism occurs when a whelp is exposed either during the parents pregnancy or after birth in intense levels to ethereal energy. All gorpos have ethereal energy (call this god energy), and those with increased amounts turn to cannibalism to get more. This gets them closer and closer to ascension. Izuru was probably forced to cannibalize at first, but ethereal energy is more addictive than heroin so at a point you can’t stop. Once ascended, they are a god. Now this cannibalism thing actually isn’t odd for gods, who only feed on each other, like dog eat dog literally, but for most species this ain’t good. It’s not healthy either because cannibalism can have many long term health problems both mentally and physically. izuru strong but at what cost… WHAT COSTTTTT… freakiness that’s the price. also cannibals tend to give themselves more teeth, what I’m saying is that Izuru gotta be careful giving Makoto kissu so he doesnt hurt him.

Oh, I'm firmly in favor! You don't have to defend mpreg aliens against me, I promise! I would accept it if it was just for fun. (And you also don't have to avoid getting weird. We're all weird. 😊)

The neuron number to body mass thing is a really interesting way to distinguish the viable species. And I like the "If the mouth is visible, you should be afraid" thing and what it implies about how they would interact with/perceive humans. (Kind of like smiling being taken as a sign of aggression because baring teeth, etc.)

This is a cool AU! Avid supporter of Izuru "Mouthful of Knives" Kamukura rights.

[sasukesun]

Sasuke: stop it Naruto! this isn’t healthy for the baby

Naruto: WHAT BABY

Sasuke:

[shijiujun]

Hi I have a question about a tag I saw on some cnovel translations. It’s “Dog Blood,” which I think is a direct translation of the Chinese tag. One place I saw it was on a novel by priest called 锦瑟, if that helps. I couldn’t figure out how to find the meaning without reading a whole novel.

HAHAHAHA omg my friend, i’ve been wanting to do this post for a while, but anyway since you asked, i shall just go through some of the danmei/novel/cdrama genres or types below. it ain’t an exhaustive list at all, there’re plenty of variations, but you may see some of these on jjwxc, also feel free to add for others

[but before i go on a tangent, for 锦瑟 pipi’s description is 狗血仙侠 I think? means angsty, melodramatic, makjang (if you’re into kdrama) cultivation to become immortal types]

*some of the below are like, you’ll totally turn up your nose at it and go like what the fuck, and not that i consume some of these genres, and i have ZERO comment as to what these genres are and i don’t want to hear stuff about how immoral things are (which they, some of them really are) - i’m just adding it in so yall know what to look out for in jjwxc next time if you chance upon weird shit okay

and i know all of these by some unfortunate crash course by a friend who’s a weibo supertopic trawler:

甜／虐 tian／nue 

Sweet or angsty/suffering types.

宠爱 chong ai

Means one of the main characters/leads really, really dotes on the other person. Basically a sweet novel, excessively sweet one.

狗血 gou xie

Literally translated yes it means dog’s blood, but what this means is that it’s angsty as fuck, and melodramatic, a lot of parts that will make you want to like spit out blood, which is where the name sort of matches. It ranges from like main characters with shitty personalities, betrayal, a lot of heartbreak, have I mentioned blood-spitting angst HAHAHA because yeah that’s what I get. Sometimes death (temporary or fake or transmigration or otherwise) yeah you get it. It does not mean BE, it can be HE, but you’re in for a fucking ride

沙雕／搞笑 sha diao／gao xiao

This means humour, comedy! Rather safe, refers to light-hearted humour, meant to be funny hahaha

鸡汤 ji tang

Literally translated means chicken soup, and no this does not mean chicken soup for the soul type of novels - this is also used to mean humour but like meme-ish and more like in your face humour that’s dumb and smart at the same time. Like just ridiculous humour.

骨科 gu ke

LMAO okay this literally translated means orthopedist, like the doctor department u go to when you break a bone? AHEM in danmei or actually not just danmei, any sort of het books, if you see this it means incest. So most of us would steer clear of this. The name came about (don’t take my word for it, there are a few versions I’ve heard but this is the most common one I think) because this popular male blogger was on a livestream or smth, and then his father came into this room to basically break his leg because he found out that the guy was sleeping with his younger sister, and that’s how it got its name

Look, I don’t judge, but I’d totally run the other way if I see this on any novel description just saying hahaha

小白 xiao bai

Literally translated as Little White, but used to mean surface-level type novels or stories (commonly used to describe web novels or fan fiction oops hahaha) - No depth in storytelling or characterization, no overarching huge plot, not very creative either HAHAHA (but does this mean it’s not good?! we’ll leave the jury out for that one)

菠萝 bo luo

Literally means pineapple, the fruit lol, but it’s used as slang/euphemism for B (bo) L (luo) - BL novels HAHAHAH

清水 qing shui

PG-13 novels, no explicit plots or scenes or people etc.

傻子 sha zi

This is a bit of an iffy line as well, technically it’s used to mean like a main character (one of the main leads) is a bit like naive and innocent and a bit of a bimbo/himbo/thimbo - but I think recently there’s been a rise of novels where authors (not just danmei, also in het ones) take the ‘silly’ part one step further and one of the leads can be actually mentally ill or retarded - so if you see this, you may wanna find a second opinion to see what kind of book it exactly is, so you don’t get a shock :/ Some of them are written well and treat the issue of mental instability and illness properly, others use it as just a trope/plot point, yeah so it’s hard to tell.

Don’t even ask okay, don’t ask why this exists or why people write certain things I do not have the answer. 

And then there are types based on like the setting:

末世 Apocalyptic

明星 Entertainment Industry 

民国 Republican Era 

高干 Main lead comes from like the upper echelons of society

军 Military

生子 Preg/MPreg

机甲 Robotics

声优 Audio VA/Entertainment 

重生 Reincarnation

穿越 Transmigration

科幻 Sci-Fi

修真／仙侠 Immortal Cultivation / Xianxia

[stipethom]

I wrote some Cablepool fics some months ago but proofreading is such a bitch, so they were incomplete for now. I’m just gonna post some parts of it and hopefully there are more Cablepool people who loves mpreg as I do.

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In summary, Mpreg theme uses pregnancy to describe how women and gender/sex minorities are impregnated with the unspeakable powers of patriarchy. Pregnancy is not just a biological phenomenon; it symbolizes embodied experiences, where women’s body is changed and exploited as it bear the burden of child labor. And by forcing such changes upon male body, it declares that any sex and gender that is seen less than a “man” can thus be a “woman”, and that whoever they are their struggles and pains are similar to that of women’s in this world.

In mpreg fics, there’ll be tears, fight, divorce, and broken hearts. It’s fan-favorite melodrama. It’s barnyard humor. It’s self-service to the writer’s own kink.

It is all of these. Or, it’s none of these.

-

They put all kinds of wires to link Wade with medical equipments. X-rays him, scans him, takes some blood from him. They declares that what’s inside Wade is not a parasite. Not another tumor nor a clog. It is, as the tag suggests, a fetus.

Some other X-students gathers as soon as the word is out: the Deadly mouthy ‘pool’s pregnant. The next session, Wade is unhappy with the amount of audience in the supposed waiting room, looking expectedly at him. From hindsight, it’s better they were there at the time, to spare Wade the horrors of explanation.

Unplanned male pregnancy should have been a comic relief since it’s Deadpool. But when the results indicate that it belongs to a certain Nathan Summers, who recently died, it is no longer a joke.

Cyclops, as his role in any other Cablepool fics, has to be the last one to know it. He learns of the identity of his future grandchild and immediately decides to rushe back to the mansion to confront whatever nightmare awaits him. He briefly talks to Hank, in order to prepare himself before talking to Wade. Eventually, a consultation team that comprises of Cyclops and Beast visits Wade’s at his apartment, who just comes back with discounted pregnancy tests from CVS.

“We must talk about your condition, Wade.” Scott says solemnly.

“Sorry, Grandpaclops, will remember to use protection next time. Guess I should never underestimate dicks from the future.”

Scott clenches his teeth. His expression is hidden under his ruby optics, but Wade can see the tiny creases around his mouth, and he gets the feeling that Scott is anxious. Ans so, so very tired. Hank clears his throat and starts talking about his discoveries. Half of his talk is explaining his daring theory of why life form can be conceived inside a male’s body, which Wade doesn’t listen to. The other half is some warmings on what a pregnant man should not do. Given Wade’s profession and personality, Hank makes 100% sure that Wade listens to him. Scott seems to be holding breath as the other mutant talks with a professional calmness.

The talk ends with “We still don’t know exactly how it happened, but It’s going to be a big responsibility—your responsibility.”

Scott tries again. He keeps his voice strategically even, a little raspy than usual, as if he practiced this conversation in front of a mirror too many times.

“It’s yours, as much as it’s Nathan’s. It’s up to you to ... keep it.”

“Or you can move into the X-mansion—”Hank stops promptly when Wade starts laughing.

“So your guys are what, showing parental support for the guy your son never actually married, and you never even doubt it’s a parasite?”

“We ruled out that possibility.” Hank says, “you know, you don’t have to do this.” He pauses briefly, making sure every sentence is carefully worded. “After what happened, you—in fact, nobody should do this alone. It’s unfair that you have to deal with it on your own.”

Great, now they think of Wade as some mourning ex-lover of Nate’s. He has to find something witty to say, or he’ll just embarrasses himself in front of these two good-intentioned, somewhat guilty-looking X-men. There’s a sorry somewhere that he can reads directly from the thin air, sorry we are so sorry for pushing you away, we are sorry we didn’t accept you—and ignored your feelings— now we are here to make it up for you. No, this ain’t right. They don’t know about him and Nate. All they see is this, which makes them assume all kinds of things about them, about Wade, that Wade doesn’t even want to think about.

He decides to take advantage of their out-of-no-where-guilt because it is better than pity, “OK, wait, is this the part where we hug and cry on each other’s shoulders? I have a feeling there’s always a but. Besides, Hank, you just violated the confidentiality agreement without my consent!”

“I’m truly sorry, it’s an unprecedented situation.” Hank tries not to look shameful. “And, no, no buts. All we’re offering is a place to rest before the, that is, if you want to keep it, It’s very important when it comes to—“

“Nathan’s spawn.” Wade helps him finish the sentence. “That’s why you X-men fucking care. “

Cyclops doesn’t say a word, but he thinks so loud, he is practically radiating sadness and anger, and worst of all, the anger is not even directed at Wade.

Wade snaps.

“Tell you what, I’m gonna fucking keep this little shit till it’s got eyes and fingers and then I’ll fucking abort it! I’ll put it in a filthy jar and sell it to Mister Sinister, and it will be none of your fucking business!”

—

Of course Wade didn’t abort it. And he did move into the X-mansion.

Everyone seems worried. After all, X-men are worried all the time—but they also look slightly relieved. If Wade ignores the eyes they are giving him, the whispers they exchange when they think he is not looking, he almost feels nothing has changed at all.

The big question, after the several years after Nate died, still hangs in the air. Every time someone looks at Wade, there’s a why in their eyes. A mutant like Nate, who is supposed to be a man of proper taste and good integrity, the reasons that he chose to be with Wade is unthinkable.

Any sane human would tell Nate what he did is ridiculous. Like the voice in the back of Wade’s mind. It tells Wade all the time that he cannot possibly believe that him and Nate could last any longer—or long enough to have any consequences.

Being pregnant is not the consequences. It’s the last one of the bad decisions he’s made after all the other ones. He knows the voice is right, and his life sucks mostly because he doesn’t listen to it. This time, he feels a certain remorse satisfaction in disobeying the remaining sense of reason in his head.

Keeping the baby to prove a point is as desperate as it’s poorly intended.

He knows how fucked-up this is.

—

In hindsight, it’s fucking creepy that Wade, Copycat, and Domino all slept with Nate.

Here she is, gonna pop open that can of worms.

Domino has to come to him at his most inconvenience. She knocks three times on the door, each time more curt and determined. She will probably shoot a hole in the wall to make a new door if he doesn’t let her in.

Wade opens the door, grimaces at the way she look at him and meet his eyes. He is a good few inches taller than Dom, but he never feels big in front of her.

She brings in an air of feline elegance and the fresh scent of hair shampoo. It’s endearing for her to allow people to see her like this, yet not entirely unguarded. He catches the innuendo of a more secret, private conversation.

Her eyes touch him lightly, hair flares with the effortless chic style many would be jealous of. There are a hundred things Wade lacks that she owns.

The night is getting dark and the wind is getting wild, he probably should close the window before the storm.

Dom is less of a coward than him, who could barely come up to people and tell them the truth. That he got himself into this long before he understood the true meaning of having someone and then losing them.

She is pretty and deadly as always, not jadded by battles and gunfire. She looks at him with a sadness of someone who think they have the pieces of a puzzle that Wade misses. Or at least they think they know.

“Why do you keep him, the baby—.” She leans against the wall, arms crossed. “He’s not going to be Nate. Nate is not here anymore.“

“Wow, wow, lady, now you’re just projecting too hard.”

“Wade, look. It took me a hell lot of drinking to accept that he’s really gone this time.” She keeps her voice steady and manages to be soft at the same time. “I hear you talk to him like, I don’t know. I don’t think I’m not projecting.”

“Just so you know, I talk to my tummy all the time. Totally healthy habit. Been like this since I’m in my mom’s womb.”

“You’ve been talking to him and you sounded like—never mind.” Now she is just being weird. Wade feels offended that someone dare to outweird him without his royal permission. “The baby—you are drowning him with things he’s not part of.”

“Drowning would be a damn boring way to die.” He comments. “In fact, I’m whispering murder thoughts to him so he can grow up into a killing machine. A cyborg one. Just like his dad.”

“Wade, I’m not trying to take anything from you.”

“Oh sure, you’re here to remind me to invite you for the baby shower, which I am seriously going to reconsider with the guest list.”

A strip of dark hair falls on her cheek as she hesitates.

“You know why I’m here.”

Honestly, Wade’s fed up with this. He didn’t respond, instead, he peels off his mask, challenges her to look directly into his eyes.

She looks flustered, but her thin shoulders are as still as granite. This close, Wade can see how her breast heaves under her loosely-fit shirt. It fucking hurts when he rips through her facade and finds something a lot like the reflection of his own pains. They both had Nate in the past, and now that Nate is the past, they are weirdly equal. They had different Nates, but Wade wants all the Nates.

The voice in his head is so loud that he can barely think his own thoughts. Is that why he came to her after Wade left Providence, for her is smart enough to ask for only what she deserves?

Does she come here to pity Wade, or is she seeking compassion from Wade? He feels an old, dull bitterness creeping up his spine.

Domino backs off a little, “I never liked you.” She says. They both know it, so it’s not really a confess. Something is blown in to the window, making a cracking sound. Both of them shiver. “I couldn’t believe it was you, of all people. “Oh, so she did care. She was not as nonchalant as she pretends to be. “But now you are-you are not just yourself-I don’t want to fight you anymore.”

It stings.

“Does that mean I can finally make your face my new bathroom tiles? Because I love baby poo on black and white.” He quirks a smile. “Oh, And by the way, I reject your nanny application. Bring your broom next time.”

“You hate me for a dead man.” She says dryly, “what does that make you...”

Her voice hitches.

“What does that make us. If we are still loyal to him.”

The wind is loud, and others must be awakened by the noises by now. If wind could talk, it must be full of broken sentences, murmuring and fleeing from the untrimmed trees, circulating in the flying dirt and the waving foliage. Some sleepless mutant girls on the second floor mutters in an annoyed voice.

Dom reaches out to him. Her arms are pale but firm. They are suddenly within the distance of a kiss. He feels his cracked lips nearly brushes hers like a breath.

She jumps back, hitting the nearest surface to her face. The window panes creak from the shockwave, sending the whole room whirls. For a moment they were close enough to dig out each other’s heart. The framed painting falls to the ground in broken pieces behind them. It is relatively intact until Neena steps on it.

“A hard loser, aren’t you.” Wade breathes.

Neena just smiles.

“It’s just you who can’t let go.”

She stubbles on the cracked frame before storming into the bathroom. Wade hears the hot water pours out of the faucet and makes maps of mist on the hanging mirror. Her reflection from the mirror shifts, and from Wade’s angle, he can see her tears.

A small sob sound leaks out of her beautiful mouth. Wade feels envious yet again. He doesn’t understand why it changes how Dom sees him, as if sharing pain with him would be some comfort for both of them. But it doesn’t, he wants to scream, and it shouldn’t. He hears other mutant kids are giggling through the wind, and he is so, so envious of them.

Before he closes his eyes, he feels a light patting on his shoulders, and then all the light runs out with the slapping of the door.

He knows this is fucked-up.

“Nate,“ he murmurs, “If you don’t plan yo come back, I don’t think I can survive this—your too-young-too-be-dad dad, your ex-girlfriend, and your very possessive and angry daughter who refuses to meet me yet—I now understand why you want to elope with me into the future. I’ll forgive you for never asking me to actually run with you, but I know you always wanted to.“

“It’s fucking worse when people try to care. They don’t know you. They don’t know how fucked up you are. All they want is to keep a memoir, and I’m their freaking memoir. What did we have, sweetheart, did we ever agree on anything, huh? Did you even think about what it would be like for us to be together long enough to have consequences?”

“You see, Nate, I’m the one living with the consequences now. Except that you’re not here.”

[satchaccuss]

My A.B.O-verse wish.

Not sure if a.b.o-verse is a specific thing or if it is any a.b.o universe containing these roles/classes.

Warning: This might gross some ppl out, it is about a.n.a.l kind of after all.

I want (fan)fiction written where all roles can self lubricate so an*l isn’t such a major hassle when you want a switch-couple. It isn’t that hard to make happen either ffs ppl! 

Just write that because how the roles have genetically developed alfas have fewer lubrication glands in their colon and vagina, and that is just how it is, they will need some prep and lube no matter what, but at least it isn’t dry as a desert if they are sufficiently aroused and excited to have a d*ck up their a*s.

Now this idea all started with me saddened that my bias isn’t really an alfa or an omega, they are more of a middle thing, so a beta and in such: I was feeling it is unfair for betas that they can’t self lubricate like omegas can, and the idea and scenario that developed in my head after that was that: it would realistically actually be more probable that betas also would be capable of self lubrication if there is an alfa present and no omegas. Now mpreg makes me uncomfortable because.... just no thank you. But lets say when early man roamed the earth in this universe it was a thing, then it would make sense that if there were no omegas around the betas would have the kids and such be capable of self lubricating. Tho the mpreg stuff disappeared through the ages and the development of medicine and genetic research and or urbanization or something so it isn’t a thing in the universe anymore. Anyway: I say betas should at the best of times with no omega around and an alfa they want be able to produce equally as much lubrication as any omega, maybe even as much (in rare circumstances of extreme arousal) as an omega in the midst of their heat. All in all: despite the lesser amounts of glands a beta has than an omega the difference in lubrication capability should be mostly negligible.

Tho I do understand that just having the cake and eating it too isn’t very fun or dramatic, hence why I added the realistic rule of: no omegas present. If the couple intends to f*ck against the wall in the middle of a dorm full of all kinds of ppl including omegas the lubrication will be lackluster (but maybe true love, mates, or extreme f*cking arousal can be exceptions to the rule, after all who doesn’t love cake? Unless you do of course but you know what I mean lol) and prepping and physical lube might/will be needed.

Please don’t make omegas trash or lower class citizens and please don’t make alfas c*nts.

I see the roles as more of: Alfas either take charge most or all of the time and/or lead and support the pack and the “weak”. OR my favorite honestly: they are just alfas. Strong “underneath” (Idunno, magic hidden superior muscle tissue?) and ferocious when pressed but chill and laid back and nice and calm and easy going. Sure, he’ll/she’ll help you with your heat no problem, but they wont force you into anything or come at you when they have their rut (if that exists in your universe, I think if the betas work as I want them too tho then maybe you can make some hot stuff happen). (yes ok, I like some power play some times: the alfa being so manly and sexy and amazing smelling that the beta’s or omega’s knees go weak and they f*ck against the nearest surface if they are both actually legitimately willing and wanting of course, no r*pe here please or lack of physical consent: if they kiss back and rub and don’t say no, then go for it you know?). Anyway, the alfas are silent powerful guardians that linger in the back of the pack, ready at any moment despite how calm or uninterested they might look, to back up the actual leader should trouble arise or ready to protect the whole pack or any member of it should the leader fail to take charge or not be present at the moment. Maybe they get ruts, maybe they don’t: it is your story!

Betas take the middle ground: They will lead and take charge if no one else will or they will nurture and care for their pack/ppl if no one else will, they will do what needs to be done especially if there is a role that needs to be filled and it doesn't have anyone to fill it.

Omegas take care of the pack, in any way that fits their personality I guess. Like, the class clown: making merry for everyone's amusement or the “mom”: cooking and cleaning maybe. I think that is a good way of putting it, but: the omegas aren’t necessarily that different from betas in my ideal world: they might’ve been in prehistoric times, but modern society has put an end to the need for such diversity between the roles. Maybe make the knotting-thing an non-necessity too and just have the act of climaxing repeatedly be the end all be all over I don’t know how many days a heat go on for but yeah that. Otherwise having a beta top during a heat is pointless so to speak and if your bias is a beta and you’d like em to top an omega during their heat it wouldn’t be very... productive?

The biggest difference in my universe is simply their smells, it seams. lol

So for the heats/ruts. I think you can work with these existing, and have some nice steamy results. But I want more control. No omega just so blindly in need of a knot or climax that they will take any and all, because that isn’t very romantic, not that all stories have to be romantic but I like the idea of mates, predestined or otherwise, so yeah. And no super crazy effect on the surroundings either please, of course they can smell it, but it isn’t a usual occurrence for any old alfa to approach an omega about to enter into or already in heat and proposition them, it might happen if you are conventionally attractive perhaps, but not usually. This is modern society after all, and civility is the norm. Equally I don’t want no alfa so crazy with need they’ll force themselves on someone either. They might insist quite heavily for sure, but no means no! Antagonists in stories are allowed to break that rule to an extent but no one (should) wants to read about r*pe.

Why the heat/ruts if mpreg is out of the question and modern society has put almost an end to the big diversity between the the non-alfa types? Because it enables lustful hot sex with animalistic instincts as semi-drive? All in all tho: because well-written hot sex is the best and if it comes from uncontrollable forces it can add a nice hot spinn on an otherwise dry (eventual) love story.

I think a rare but nice story element I would like to see is the omega feeling the heat and seducing a chill willing alfa. They do both want it of course, but the alfa isn’t going to just take it from you unless you make that exceptionally clear.

...My thought for this was an excited omega Jangjun wanting his hyung (Idunno why, I just ship them, ok) to f*ck him (or maybe a more graceful way of putting it would be he wants him to help him through his heat) by gently but insistingly “coercing” a semi-sleepy Daeyeol to f*ck him by smelling really good, (I mean c’mon, he is an omega in heat and yeol is a single alfa lol) and licking and nipping at erogenous zones to get the other aroused (in more ways than one hah. Now I ain’t saying he is deep asleep of course, he is just resting in bed for a bit or maybe he is about to go to sleep, either way works. Please someone write this!).

I assume a rut would work the same, the alfa will endure until the love interest offers to help or an assertive alfa might make his interest known to the love interest through asking for help or something. Yeah I ran out of steam, Idunno what to say here. Sorry.

Anyway:

Please make the lubrication idea the norm when it comes to the A.B.O-verse. Not everyone is an alfa or even an omega, some ppl are betas and they deserve some hot spontaneous self lubricated sex too.

[killian-whump]

I feel so badly for the lecture you gave the poor nonnie who I think was looking for JJ Sneed as inspiration for CS AU. I can only assume what was asked by your reply to the nonnie. “ I tend not to read or promote CS AUs of Colin’s other works (except in some very specific cases).” I guess it’s OK if a friend of yours writes a CS piece based on What Still Remains. My question is what made that one OK other than your friend wrote?

First of all, the Nonny didn’t ask me for anything, and that wasn’t a lecture. Nonny said she disliked JJ Sneed and was only looking forward to the CS AUs based off of it. I answered back that I’m not into most CS AUs, and don’t usually post any, so if that’s all she’s interested in regarding JJ Sneed, she’s not going to find it here and should look elsewhere. I also said, like TWO times, that I have no problem with other people enjoying the content and creating the content, so I’m not sure how you got “lecture” out of that. I can only imagine that you’re confused because when you stayed out too late as a kid, your parents ‘lectured’ you by saying, “Well, we don’t like to stay out late, and we don’t want to encourage others to stay out late, but if you want to stay out late, that’s perfectly okay and we hope you have a nice time doing so.” I don’t wanna be judgey, but I’m gonna do it anyway and say that’s really weird.

Secondly, I clearly said “except in some special cases” in my post, which I know you know I said, because you literally included it in your quote of what I said on the post. So I’m not sure why you’re so scandalized by the fact that there’s a CS AU that is evidently one of those “special cases” that I am willing to reblog. I mean, you act like you’re catching me up in a lie of some kind, but you’re actually just catching me up in... doing exactly what I said I do. Congratulations? I’ve run out of confetti, so you’ll have to do without this time.

So now on to WHY @hollyethecurious‘s ‘We Make Our Own Fate’ is what I consider a “special case” of a CS AU:

It’s by my friend. Look, I'm not going to lie and deny that this is a factor. I am 100% more likely to scroll past a CS AU by someone I don’t know than I am to scroll past one written by one of my friends. I also have read some fantasy-themed AUs, A/B/O fics, and mpreg fics my friends have written - even though I openly state that these things are my least favorite tropes/genres. I am absolutely more likely to give a friend, a favorite author, or fellow whumper’s potentially unpleasant/squicky fic a chance than I am a complete stranger’s. So sue me.

There’s whump in it. I will literally reblog a photo of a monkey’s ass if there’s some good whump attached to it somehow. The story started with Killian stepping in that bear trap, as in the film, and it got even better a couple chapters later, when his wound got infected and Emma had to nursemaid him. If memory serves me correctly, I only reblogged the chapters that had whump or significant angst in them - as I do for ALL multi-chapter stories that aren’t explicitly whump fics. And, again, I regularly reblog fics/chapters that have tropes I dislike (or even find squicky) if they contain whump. This isn’t a secret, either. I’m pretty sure even my best friends know not to expect a reblog from me if they ain’t got whump somewhere in the work/chapter. Hell, I even ASK people to tag me in any whumpy chapters of their fics, even if I haven’t liked/reblogged a single chapter of the fic before. I’m not above randomly reblogging Chapter 17 of your 32 chapter opus because Killian gets tied up in it. I am a simple woman of simple tastes. I just sit here in my own little world and reblog the whumps, man. It could not be simpler to understand.

It’s more of a full-fledged crossover. Mind you, this is only why I’ve continued to read the story, beyond the initial giving-it-a-chance and my reblogs of whumpy chapters. To me, this isn’t a simple CS AU. It’s a crossover fic. I consider it that because there are multiple characters drawn from, and multiple parallels made and shown between What Still Remains and Once. We see Robin in the role of Ben. Neal in the role of Zach. Eloise in the role of Judith. Walsh in the role of the Berserker. It is clear that the author actually watched What Still Remains, took an active interest in the characters, relationships and dynamics of the film, and found suitable places to meld those things with the characters, relationships and dynamics of Once. This isn’t the kind of “I pasted Emma’s face over Maddie’s” manip or “I watched the trailer and put CS in something vaguely resembling it” fic that I refuse to promote. It’s a well-thought-out crossover that respects BOTH works as valid in their own rights. And it’s certainly not the only one of those out there, of course, and not even the only one of them I’ve read and enjoyed - but it is, however, one of the only lengthy CS AUs I’ve reblogged... because most of you assholes don’t put any whump in your fucking stories.

That’s the REAL problem here, let’s just be honest. If everybody put whump in every chapter of every story, I could just sit here all day absorbing it all and rolling around in my own little whumperflies stupor and never have to scroll past ANYTHING. But nooooooooooooo, you guys are all, “Here’s my coffee shop AU!” and “This is a fluff piece!” and “There should be a plot somewhere.” Killjoys. Gimme more whump, and give it to me now.

[fruit-teeth]

Phantom Connection

/(AAghgsiwdhwj this is another free-write I wrote and it is ALSO mpreg trash again!! Because of course, it is with me...anyway this one gets a little graphic though so I’m gonna slip it under a ‘read more’ to be safe. Anyway, hope you like!)/

Mission trips were always tedious. While they could be fun, what with getting to see new places and spending time away from the base, these trips were also very time-consuming and even dangerous from time to time. Yet it was one mission that would change the way the mercenaries looked at these responsibilities for a very long time.

Heavy, Demoman and Engineer were all returning from a long mission trip which had been stationed a few states over. They left early in the morning once all had been said and done, and now they were on their way back to the base.

Nothing seemed out of the ordinary-- the three were chatting, sharing stories, and Engineer had even put in a music tape to play.

“This is one of my ma's favorite tapes,” he explained, turning up the volume. “I used to listen to it all the time as a kid, and I can even play a few of these on guitar,”

In the passenger seat, Demo listened, and he remarked, “Ah, not bad! Sounds like somethin' my mum would listen to too, but she doesn't listen to tapes much,”

“My mother does not own any music,” Heavy piped up from the backseat. “But maybe I will buy her tapes at Christmas,”

“Good idea!” Engineer agreed, supportive. His hands gripped the steering wheel as his eyes watched the road ahead.

It was then, however, that things began to change a bit. Engineer got very quiet all of the sudden, and whenever Demo or Heavy would say something he would only make grunts or 'hm' sounds in response. Both men in the car noticed immediately, and Demo was the first to take action.

“You all right there, lad?” Tavish wanted to know, concern present in his voice. “Ye need to make a stop?”

Engineer didn't respond for a long moment, trying to focus on the road while he forced down a wince. “What?” he asked after a few seconds of silence, blinking. “O-oh, uh...Nah, I think I'll be okay,”

“You do not look well,” Heavy leaned forward to get a better look at the Texan. “You are too pale, are you sick?”

“Really, fellas,” Engineer sucked in a breath, trying to crack a smile. “I'm okay, I--”

The car nearly swerved down a nearby hill, and when Dell managed to get safely back on the road Demo intervened.

“Lad, you ain't well,” Tavish observed, taking Dell's wrist. “Pull over and let me drive, all right?” Engineer hesitated, and then nodded, slowing the car down and stopping it. “Okay...that's probably a good idea,”

They switched places, with Engineer now in the passenger seat and with Demo driving. Heavy continued to watch Engie from the back, shifting forward to pat his shoulder. “We will be back at the base soon, and Doktor will look at you,”

Engineer blew out a breath, his hands kneading at the armrests. “Yeah...okay,” he gritted his teeth, doubling over a little.

“What is wrong?” Heavy asked finally, watching Engineer's pained expression. “What is hurting you?”

“It's...” Engineer's voice died in his throat, so he simply pointed to his abdomen.

Demo noticed this, and he grimaced, rounding a corner. “Ugh, probably appendicitis,” he glanced at the truck's clock, noting, “We'll be at the base in thirty minutes. Hang in there, lad,”

Dell's only response was a soft groan, his head falling back on the headrest and his eyes pressing shut. He knew it wasn't his appendix since he'd had his appendix removed years ago, and even if that was the case his pain felt more like menstrual cramps. In fact, that's what he thought it was: despite the fact that changes had been made to his hormones and chest years prior, his period still came and went although it had a tendency to be irregular. Unlike his usual cramps, though, these were unbearable, and they made him feel uncomfortably warm and itchy all over. He tugged at his collar, grunting while rocking back and forth in pain.

Demo looked over at him again, and then at the clock. “Lad, we're almost there. We can make a stop if ye want,”

“No, it's okay,” Engie tried to stay calm, but mentally he said 'screw it'. He didn't care if he wasn't alone, so he brought his hands to his abdomen and began massaging where he felt the pain. “Keep drivin', please,”

Demo nodded, focusing back on the road. “Okay, whatever ye say,”

This went on for several minutes, and despite the constant massages Dell just felt worse and worse. The cramps were becoming more intense, and there was less space in between each one. A particularly bad one flashed through his abdomen, and he yelped, gripping the armrests again. “Ah, Lord!” he exclaimed, sweat trickling down his forehead as he tried to even out his breathing.

Heavy reached out from the backseat to rub at Engineer's shoulder. “We will be back home soon,” he watched Engineer try to compose himself, noticing his posture and the sheer amount of sweat shining from his body. Something about this seemed very familiar to Misha, but he didn't know why...

“What does it feel like?” Demo asked, glancing at Engineer with a wince. “Can ye describe it?”

Engineer doubled over again, groaning out, “It's like...agh, it's like somethin' is tryin' to claw it's way out or ripping me apart-- oh!” he gasped, sitting up suddenly.

“What?” Heavy sat up again, watching in concern. His eyes went wide when he noticed a dark, damp stain in the denim of Dell's worn overalls, and the realization came crashing down.

“What the...?” Engineer panted, feeling the spot in confusion, before he let out a yell, gripping his stomach in agony. “Ah!”

Heavy wasn't quite sure how to process the situation at first-- he knew very well what was happening, as he'd witnessed his mother go through it years earlier, but in that case, she knew what she was doing and how to respond to it. Engineer clearly didn't know what was happening, or he did but he was too disoriented to deal with it properly. After a moment, Heavy gathered himself and looked at the clock.

They would be at the base in five minutes, but could Engineer hold on until then? He was hurting very badly, that was evident, but help was only five minutes away. For now, Heavy would have to coach him through it the best he could.

“Engineer,” Heavy got his attention, and he took the Texan's hand in his own and squeezed gently. “Breathe, yes? Try to relax, breathe deep, we will be there soon,”

Engineer nodded, but his brows pinched together with another cramp, and he hissed out in pain. “How soon!? I dunno how much longer I can handle this...”

At this point, Dell knew what was going on, and he could already feel some instinct deep inside himself telling him to push. He tried to ignore it to focus on breathing, but that urge to push was getting stronger and stronger.

Right as they finally pulled up to the base, Engineer could no longer stand it. With shaking hands, he undid his overall straps and shoved them down, trying to adjust himself the best he could.

“What are you doing!?” Demo exclaimed, his voice pitching a bit in shock.

Now that the truck was stopped, Heavy undid his seat belt and opened the door, shouting at Demo, “Get Doktor! Quickly!” before rounding the car to get to the passenger seat. Demo obeyed, leaping from the truck and sprinting to the base in a panic.

Heavy knelt down to get a better look at Engineer, keeping his hand on the smaller man's back. “Is okay,” Heavy comforted, trying to keep his voice quiet. “Body knows what to do, you will be all right,”

Engineer only nodded weakly with an 'uh-huh' before he kicked his overalls and boots off, another groan escaping his throat. This time, he obeyed with the strong urge he felt and pushed hard, his teeth gritting with the exertion. He cried out, and Heavy grabbed his hand to support him as he pushed a second time.

Medic came running out a moment later with a towel thrown over his shoulder as he quickly approached the car, calling, “Herr Engineer, I am coming! Do not worry!”

It was then, though, that Dell pushed a third time, and a loud gasp punched its way out of his throat. “Oh, my God!” his chest heaved, relief sweeping over him but a feeling of shock and panic setting in. He reached between his legs, his eyes wide in disbelief as he brought up a tiny, bluish baby for Medic to see.

Medic paused, assessing the situation mentally before diving in. “All right, all right,” he took the infant from the downright shocked Texan and wrapped it in the towel, rubbing it. “Here we are, now, let's breathe!”

Engineer laid against the seat, panting but already feeling much better. He watched the baby silently, fear forming in his chest. “Please breathe,” he murmured, barely audible, his heart racing.

The baby made a gurgling sound, before the little cry emerged from its throat, the small chest beginning to move naturally.

Medic still cleared the fluid from its airways anyway, cooing, “There we are! This is very unexpected, I had no idea you were coming! What a surprise,”

Engineer finally relaxed, smiling, a laugh making its way out of his throat. “Ha, yeah...you think you're surprised, imagine me!”

They all had a good laugh, and Medic bundled the baby up in the towel before handing her to Dell. “Here she is, I'll need to take a look at her once you're settled, all right?”

Engineer shifted his arms to hold the baby properly, peering into the towel to look at her. “Oh, my goodness,” he marveled, his voice softening as he touched the little cheek. He didn't even know what to say: she was gorgeous. She was small, but her skin was soft and while she didn't have much hair, the hair she did have twisted into sweet little curls on her head. She was perfect...and she'd taken Dell completely by surprise. All that pain he'd gone through felt so far away, now, and it had been replaced by a deep need to care for this little thing he'd just brought into the world.

Heavy patted his shoulder, smiling at him and the baby. “She is beautiful, Engineer,”

“Yeah,” was all Dell could reply with, his voice quiet. He leaned back, watching as Medic tied the cord off and stood up, removing his coat.

“Come, let's get you decent and inside,” Medic instructed, draping his coat over Engineer and taking his arm. He helped the smaller man up, leading him inside.

The other mercenaries had all gathered outside to watch from several feet away, although Scout was trying to get closer.

“Wait, what happened?” he took a step forward as if to run up to Engineer and Medic. “What does Engie have?”

Soldier held Scout back with a strong hand, but he also watched in interest. “It appears to be a sausage!” he confirmed after a moment. “A large one too! With legs!”

Scout wrinkled his nose. “Eww, what? No way!”

Pyro nudged Scout, getting his attention, and then pointed to Engineer before making the universal symbol of rocking a baby with their arms.

Scout's eyes got wide. “Holy shit, he had a kid!?”

“Gentlemen!” Spy's voice sounded oddly strained and more stressed than normal. “Leave him be-- the last thing he needs right is to be stared at by you Neanderthals!”

Everyone went silent, as it wasn't usual for Spy to scold others for being intrusive. Sniper spoke up a moment later, agreeing, “He's right. Come on, let's go back inside, and then we can visit with him later,”

Demo nodded. “Yeah, he was hurtin' pretty bad, he probably wants a break,”

With this, they trickled into the base one by one, until Spy was the only one left behind outside. Scout stopped in the doorway, turning around to look.

“Yo, Spy,” he called out. “You coming in?”

“Mm-hm,” Spy replied quietly, appearing to be lost in thought. He put out his cigarette before heading inside with the others.

Inside, Engineer got settled on a cot while Medic examined the baby. Dell watched, and he asked, “Is she okay, doc?”

“She's a little premature,” Medic replied, making sure she was warm in the towel. “You will need to feed her regularly and keep her warm since she needs to gain as much weight as possible,”

“I can do that,” Engineer sat up when Medic approached, and he held his arms out. “Lemme see my girlie,” a grin spread across his face when she was placed in his arms, and he kissed her forehead sweetly. “There's my angel! You feelin' better now, sweetheart?”

The baby yawned, squeaking a little as her hands curled into tiny fists. Dell relaxed back onto the pillow, sighing. “God, she's so beautiful...”

“What will you name her?” Medic wanted to know, removing his gloves and setting them beside the sink.

“I dunno,” Engineer admitted, stroking his baby's cheek. “I'll think of a name...I gotta get to know her first, you know?”

Medic nodded, understanding. “Of course! I understand completely,” he hung his coat up, heading for the door. “I will leave you two alone, then. Call if you need anything!”

“Yep!” Engineer smiled, and when the door closed he turned his attention back to his little girl, his hand brushing the wisps of hair on her head. “You got so much hair. I wonder if you'll have my ma's hair-- oh, gosh, she's gonna be so happy to hear about you! I'll have to call her, and she can visit so you can meet your granny! That'll be nice,”

The baby's eyes opened, blinking up at Dell, before they fell closed again. Dell felt tears prick at his eyes, and he held his daughter close, his chin coming to gently rest on her head. “I can't believe it...it's like I got a Christmas present in summer,” he rubbed her back, and she made a soft noise at him.

Engineer hardly noticed the door opening once more, but he did notice the smell of cigarette smoke faintly wafting near him, and he realized he wasn't alone.

He opened his eyes, sighing, “I know you're there, Spy...you don't gotta hide,”

Spy uncloaked, sitting on the edge of the cot. His eyes were fixed on the baby, and he said nothing for a long moment. Finally, he cleared his throat.

“Were you...going to tell me at some point?”

Engineer shook his head. “No. I didn't know, I couldn't have told you anyway,”

“I see,” Spy folded his hands over his lap, looking away. After a moment, he looked back. “And you'll be keeping the little one?”

“Of course,” Engineer's arms tightened around his daughter, feeling her shift in his arms. “I'd be a damn fool to give her to that shithole orphanage,”

Spy nodded understandingly. “Mm, yes, of course,” he sighed, focusing on the baby again. “Well...would you like me to be in her life? Because--”

“I do!” Engineer exclaimed, sitting up taller. “Look, I know what happened was a one-time thing, but she needs both her parents,” he looked back down at the baby, and then up at Spy again. “Even if we aren't together,”

Spy fell silent again before his eyes glanced at the floor. “They'll all know then, you know,”

“Is...that okay?” Engineer tilted his head, watching Spy’s face.

A pause. Spy nodded, and he shifted closer. “Perhaps it won't be so bad...she is beautiful,” he reached out, gently brushing the baby's little cheek. She squeaked, and Spy couldn't help but smile. “Salut, mon chéri. Comment allez vous?”

Engineer held his arms out so Spy could get a better look, and he moved closer. “You're gonna spoil her rotten,” he grinned when the infant shifted to look at up at Spy, but then his smile faded. “Oh, God...what about Scout? This is his--”

“Worry about that later, please,” Spy cleared his throat, making it clear he didn't want to bring his son into this just yet. “We have a daughter, let's celebrate her,” he pressed a little kiss to her forehead, humming softly. “Ma petite fleur. Sais-tu comme tu es belle?”

Engineer swallowed, but he felt himself smiling again as he tried to settle into the pillows once more. This wasn't what he imagined a moment like this being like, but he was grateful Spy wasn't going to disappear again.

[blurhawaii]

Yuletide 2019

dear yuletide writer,

hello and happy yuletide! this is my fifth year taking part and my longest letter yet so i’m just going to jump right in. the suggestions are guidelines. if you’ve got a great idea, go for it. i only ask that you steer clear of my dislikes.

feel free to go through my tumblr for each of these fandoms. i should have tags for them, tho your mileage may vary. i might even have more stuff on my side blog: here. likes:

dysfunctional relationships eg. codependency, messed up father/son dynamics, enemies to lovers, power imbalances.

found family

big loyalty kink. love it when trust is earned and kept.

praise kink

vulnerability in men

open and honest communication between partners

i love ot3s. it’s the journey of them getting together and making it work that interests me the most. or how an established pair goes about bringing in a third person.

stories set in canon. or a divergence of canon.

dark/bleak fics. don’t be afraid to drag characters through the mud. happy endings are welcome but i like the struggle.

i’m fine with anything from gen to porn but would be happiest with something in the middle. i love first times.

canon typical violence is fine and to be expected from some of my choices of fandoms.

detective stories/film noir

magical realism/cosmic horror. weird hints of it in an otherwise normal universe

redemption arcs

characters and relationships are more important than plot for me

dislikes:

AUs that are completely disconnected from canon e.g. coffee shop AUs.

established relationships

crossovers

genderbending

feminisation of male characters

fics that are entirely fluff

A/B/O fics

PWP

mpreg 

scat/watersports

first person fics (i have no problem with second person fics tho if you think that could work. they really wow me when done well.)

The Departed (2006) *Billy Costigan             *Sean Dignam

one of my favourite films ever. i request it every year so you can't really go wrong with this as i am thirsty for anything. most of my love is for dignam and his tough love attitude towards his job and the undercovers he's responsible for. it's obvious he cares, i don't think you could do a job like that and not care, but those rare and few moments when he softens around billy --we need you, pal-- that's what i would like to see more of. i have written a couple of departed fics myself, centred around costigan/dignam, but in all honesty, i would be happy with anything involving them both. shipping is preferred but whatever you are comfortable with is fine. due to the nature of the film, i am perfectly comfortable with violence and the screwed up relationship they are bound to have. the friction born of the situation vs the fact that they need each other to get through this is what i am all about.

codependency, power imbalances and enemies to lovers tropes are abound here.

fics where billy lives are my usual go-to. the survivability of being shot in the head, that kind of stuff can be hand waved away in fic, and i'd love something that explores the angst of billy's ‘where the hell were you when i needed you’ reaction towards dignam following that ending.

or a canon divergence fic with their totally antagonistic relationship being front and centre. i just ask that there be an underlying level of affection, no matter how buried. when billy is undercover, there’s a special kind of relationship that comes with dignam and queenan being the only people he can talk to.

something i’ve never seen for this but would actually love: a time loop/groundhog day fic

Jurassic Park Original Trilogy (Movies)

*Sarah Harding                  *Ian Malcolm                  *Nick Van Owen

i originally wasn’t going to ask for this again this year (i was lucky enough to get treated with a fic a couple of years ago) but then someone other than myself nominated nick van owen which surprised and delighted me and i figured why the hell not.

my passion here is the ot3 potential. i view these three in the same way i view the trio in the first film, meaning i see them as three people who have bonded over a traumatic experience and come out of it forever linked in some way. they spend the entire film looking out for each other and keeping each other safe, and they all separately take care of ian’s daughter at one point and i am fascinated by this and how that could continue in the future. (in fact, i love stories where adults treat kids like adults, not talking down to them–see any shane black film.) i’m looking for an actual relationship between them but would be happy with anything that showcased a connection with every side of this triangle.

anything post-film with them dealing or not dealing with what happened would be amazing. there are quite a few fics based around this idea for the first film’s trio, i’d love to see something like that for these three. (i’ve always been kind of bitter about the way nick just disappears for the last act but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ that’s what fics are for, i guess.)

i don’t like the jurassic world films but i’m fine with fics that take that future into account. a lot of the trauma for these characters comes from the idea that the parks still exist and continue to fuck people up.

Godless (TV 2017)

*Roy Goode                 *Bill McNue                 *Alice Fletcher

i’m a massive fan of westerns. the harsh way of life, the violence, the isolation, drawn out revenge plots, the murkiness of good vs evil or sheriff vs anti-hero, the importance of honour and heroism and how that differs for men and women, especially in this universe with its town full of widows. having said all that, i’m still very much a sucker for cool cowboys in a shallow female way.

as you’ve probably already gathered my favourite thing is turning every love triangle into an ot3. so i’d love a fic post canon where roy comes back after realising found family is just as important as real family despite frank’s influence. i imagine bill would try to do the gentlemanly/self depreciating thing of bowing out and letting roy and alice be together but i’d love for alice to actually get a say in this where she wasn’t allowed in the show. however you jigsaw them together my main thing is that bill doesn’t get left out.

i feel the roy/bill aspect in particular could be explored a lot more. i love that they don’t hate each on sight. they learn mutual respect and then smoothly move around each other during the gunfight at the end. (bill’s deteriorating eyesight side plot also fascinates me, how it goes with his loss of purpose -”losing his shadow”- and comes back when teaming up with roy to defend the town. maybe there’s a fic possibility where it flares up again due to his insecurity of roy coming between him and alice. either way, the hints of magical realism here and with frank’s repeated insistence that he’s seen his death and this ain’t it are great and i wouldn’t mind seeing more of that.)

the usual ideas of western masculinity get all twisted around when roy and bill are in the presence of alice and they both seem kind of subby towards her, which yes please. the way alice kisses the scar she gave roy and the fact that he simply lets her is *chef kiss* because i also love the parallel that bill got shot in the hip trying to get revenge for alice. they all have scars that tie them together.

i’m actually very okay with letting them be soft with each other after all of their tragedy.

honest communication between partners could work wonders here.

Barry (TV 2018)

*Barry Berkman                     *Monroe Fuches

i expected to like this show. dark comedy, depressed hitman, henry winkler, it’s a perfect combination of things. i didn’t expect to get obsessed with barry’s obvious fucked up father-figure hangups. but hey ho, i was pleasantly surprised.

pretty much every one of barry’s relationships in this show has an element of fucked-upness but the barry/fuches one is by far the worst. it’s codependent, it’s manipulative, it’s a little abusive, the power is constantly flip-flopping and most importantly there’s the father/son dynamic that could so easily tip over into something sexual. it’s everything i love. any time fuches calls barry “his boy” it kills me. and i am fascinated by the way barry can go from needy and touch starved to a rampaging killer hunting fuches down by the end and still have that dynamic going strong.

the parallels between them and the barry/gene cousineau relationship, which is fucked up too just in a very different way, are great. love the jealousy it brings and i would even be into a fic set post the season 2 ending, if you could find a way to swing that. though, while i like a little darkness, i would still rather see them fall back into old unhealthy habits than kill each other.

any kind of prequel fic would be amazing too.

and just to be clear i’m more than okay with a sexual relationship between these two but if you don’t want to write it that’s fine. I’d just like all the other aspects of their shitty relationship delved into.

L.A. Confidential (1997)

*Bud White                         *Ed Exley

pretty much all of my bullet pointed likes come into play here. i’ve nominated two characters but i’d be happy with almost any combination of the characters available in the tagset as long as exley is involved in some way.

ships i like: bud/exley,  exley/vincennes,  bud/exley/lynn

but if we matched purely on both bud and exley then:

i love the opposites attract partnership bud and exley have and i like that they both seem angry at their attraction to each other. hate-sex with reluctant feelings? always good. i'd love anything that deals with their perceived difference in intellect and/or education. bud being turned-on by exley's smarts, exley realizing how much he's underestimated bud, them being mutually impressed by each other.

if you choose to go down the ot3 route then:

i love fics where exley shows up in arizona and they fall into weird domesticity. i love seeing how three people--especially three people who aren't used to the idea of poly relationships--work their way towards realizing and accepting what they want.

and while i’m not sure what you could do with this knowledge, i’d just like to add that i’ve read the book and i’m somewhat obsessed with the existence of dream-a-dreamland in general. if you could incorporate that in any way i’d be hugely impressed.

POKEMON Detective Pikachu (2019)

*Harry Goodman                        *Hide Yoshida

this is totally a last minute request that i’ve edited in but is by no means less wanted than the others. i watched this film back when it came out and was honestly surprised by how much i enjoyed it. i’m a massive pokemon fan and have been since i got my pokemon red when i was seven years old and, let me tell you, getting to see all those growlithes waddling about the real world was like a childhood dream come true.

i had a good time and i moved on.

a few days ago i stumbled on a piece of art : here : and it was like the little goblin that is my brain just sat up straight. the very concept of these characters together had never crossed my mind before that but then suddenly the desire for this just casually strolled through my entire headspace, turning on every light as it went.

i love detective stories, i love cop partnerships, i love hot single dads who happen to be cops with cute little pokemon cop partners. i love that harry is kind of a shitty father but he’s now trying his best. i love that hide had nothing but praise and respect for harry when he meets with tim and that he knew things like tim wanting to be a pokemon trainer when he was younger (meaning he and harry had talked about stuff like this.) i love that hide inexplicably has a spare key to harry’s apartment in his desk drawer. i love how absolutely certain hide was in saying harry loved his son more than anything in the world.

there’s history there is what i’m saying, and i’d love to know more about it.

anything set pre-film would be cool. loose cannon harry throwing his whole being into his job to deal with the loss of his wife and his fractured relationship with his son. hide the tired lieutenant trying to rein him in, quietly talking about tim together, keeping him grounded and safe. all up until he can’t, that is. (great angst potential with hide genuinely believing harry is dead.)

anything set post-film would be even better. harry struggling to find balance between being a father and a cop. probably doing a shitty job at it in the beginning. hide trying to help. would love for tim to be an actual presence (outsider POV could be amazing here.)

may sound strange but my favourite thing that used to happen in digimon a lot is when characters would interact with each other digimon partner. i would be massively into a fic about the two of them growing closer through each other’s pokemon partner.

thank you writer and best of luck.

[redvelvetreel]

Red Velvet Reel 9.1: Blue Ain’t (Usually) My Color

             [Fic Directory]

Pairing: [Married] Spicyhoney (Underfell Papyrus x Underswap Papyrus)

Summary: Stretch feels terrible over that whole death-will debacle, and seeks solace from his brother and brother-in-law. He ends up with a little comfort and a lot of knowledge.

Characters: Stretch (Underswap Papyrus) & Red (Underfell Sans) & Blue (Underswap Sans)

Contains: Mpreg/Skelepreg! Monster pregnancy headcanons, including sympathetic pregnancy symptoms! Mood Swings! Coffee Shops! 

Rating: Teen and up! (I guess?)

Note:  If I were a painter, I wouldn’t change you- just paint you bright. ‘Cause Blue looks good on the sky Looks good on that neon buzzin’ on the wall But darlin’ It don’t match your eyes -- "Blue Ain’t Your Color" by Keith Urban

Stretch had literally been outside the other day, but something about today seemed magical. The air was cool but not biting, not quite time to break out the terrible winter sweaters... but soon. The leaves were gold and red, most of them still attached to the tree-but the ones on the ground still crunched delightfully under his shoes. Too bad he wasn’t in the right frame of mind to enjoy it. Forcing down another sigh, Stretch made his way to the coffee shop across the street. Mt. Ebbot Coffee Co. Store # 6. He had never been to this one before, but store #4 had Austin the Barista who changed his hair color every other week. Maybe this store also had someone who would be willing to pour sprinkles in his coffee, too. Stretch smiled to himself, feeling a little bit better. Actually, a lot better! Sprinkles and coffee were a delicious combination! He was going to have delicious sprinkles coffee with his brother and his brother-in-law, and they were- He jumped when he heard tapping on the window, looking over his shoulder to find... Red. Face pressed against the glass, tongue lolling out of his mouth like a toddler. Was it on the window? Gross. Edge would have thrown a fit- The guilt started up immediately, and he felt bad again. Like really, really bad. Stretch did his best to smile at the baristas, but it felt half-hearted as he made his way to the corner booth. Red was already back in his seat, back flush against the wall with an unobstructed view of the entire establishment. Blue was sitting across from him like a more normal monster. Ugh, that was mean- less paranoid monster. “What’cha mad at, Honey?”

“Me. Myself. I.” He slid into the space next to Blue, leaning most of his body weight on his brother. Blue just held him tight, probably a little worried. Great. “I’m just a huge fuckup and I don’t know how to stop being bad at everything.”

“That’s not true!” Blue gave him a squeeze, only letting go to slide a big Frappuccino in front of him. It was absolutely covered in sprinkles. “You’re good at many things! Why don’t you have a drink-“

“Ya ‘n Edge fightin’ or somethin’?” Red got even more abrasive when he was genuinely concerned, and the table shook with the force of his punch. “The hell ya do this time, huh?!”

“Shut UP, Red!” Blue kicked the other skeleton under the table, “Maybe Edge did something to him!”

“I...” Where did he even start to answering these question? “I don’t know,” he answered honestly, pressing his cheekbone against the top of his brother’s head, “We’ve argued and fought before, but this feels different.” 

He tightened his hold around his brother, staring at the wood, “Like, really bad, really off different. It’s weird- I don’t like it, it’s not like we’re fighting-fighting but it’s not like we’re on stellar terms either. It’s maybe neither of our faults and both of our faults, but I’m not sure. I don’t know how to fix it. All I know is that I don’t want Edge walking on eggshells around me...”

“If it was Papy’s fault, why would Edge be cautious around him?” Blue asked Red pointedly, but in a moment he was back to being coddling, gently rubbing Stretch’s back in concerned affection, “What happened? Is that why he’s not here today?”

“No, and it was kinda my fault too. I overreacted. I left him at home because he was still sleeping.” He shrugged half-heartedly, “He’s been... really sleepy lately. I’m kinda worried-”

Red snorted like he was holding back a laugh, “Pancake’s a greedy bastard, huh? Like their Daddy.”

“It’s-” Yeah, ok, Soulings did need a lot of magic. “Fine, it’s probably a pregnancy thing, but we’re going to the doctor on Thursday, just in case.” He held up a hand, “Anyway, that’s not the point- I left him a note on the dresser, and then I realized I forgot my reward card. But I guess by that time Edge though I left, ‘cause then I could hear him talking with someone on speaker. It was Comic. He was... asking him for advice about missing home...”

“Oh.” Blue patted his back consolingly, sympathizing politely even if it was clear he didn’t quite understand the issue. “I’m sorry, Papy. Sometimes it’s good for monsters to vent to a neutral third party, though. It’s better than bottling it up, right? Maybe Edge didn’t want to talk to you about it because he didn’t want to hurt your feelings.”

“Yeah...” Blue made some good points and it sounded reasonable enough. Edge was probably being conscientious, but... “But he’s supposed to talk to me about these things, isn’t he? Am I a bad husband, if he doesn’t feel like he can talk with me freely or directly? Can he not trust me?” Stretch lowered his voice, soul feeling unbearably heavy, “Does that mean he’s unhappy here? Unhappy with me? If he misses Underfell, doesn’t that mean he wants to go back? What if-“

“S’fine.” Red had little patience for tact or diplomacy, rough and painfully dismissive. “Wouldn’t a done speaker if he ain’t wantcha to hear. S’reassurin’ ya he’s dealin’ with that saudade bullshit. S’always been heart over brains for ‘im. He’ll get over it.“

“But-“ Stretch frowned, feeling less reassured, “That’s not-“

“Don’t’cha worry, Honey bunch. I’ll straightin’ yer hubby out.” Red cracked his knuckles in an obvious show of bravado, smile sharp and confident, “S’gotten too touchy-feely, but ain’t nothin’ a nice lil’ chat can’t fix.“

“I don’t want that!” Stretch wasn’t sure how he felt about Red’s flippancy- relieved his worst fears were being disproved, or annoyed Edge’s feelings were being dismissed? “I don’t want Edge to be secretly miserable! I want him to be happy! Not just pretend to be happy for my sake-“

The corners of his eye sockets burned unpleasantly, and he rubbed at them irritably, “I never meant to force him to come here- I would have been just as happy to stay with him in Underfell! But he-“ His voice hitched miserably, shoulders shaking as his brother held him. “I don’t want him to hate me! I didn’t mean to ruin his life!”

“The hell’s wrong with ya?!” Red was wide-eyed, hands hovering nervously like he wanted to slap or shake Stretch. “The fuck ya talkin’ about?! Why the fuck ya bawlin’?!” 

“Papy.” Stretch couldn’t even shrug before Blue was pulling him closer, tucking his face against his chest like he was in stripes again. It should have been embarrassing, but it was actually incredibly soothing. “Edge doesn’t hate you, and he doesn’t think you ruined his life. It just seems like it because the parentMOOD is amplifying your anxiety.”

Stretch felt disoriented and confused, blinking at his brother blearily, “Huh?”

“I’m not saying your feelings aren’t real or anything- I just want you to know that it’s Pancake making everything seem more intense and extreme.” Blue’s tone was calm and patient, and although he let Stretch pull away, he kept a supportive hand on his back.

“This?” Stretch patted at his cheeks, surprised to find them just a little damp. He had forgotten to be upset, too focused on Blue’s comfort and being confused. “This is my parentMOOD starting? I’m not just being unnaturally overdramatic?”

“You’re being naturally sensitive!” All expecting parents go through this, so there’s no reason to be ashamed.

“The fuck ya about, huh?!” Red looked agitated and unsure, “Brat ain’t even here-  they ain’t even born!”  He clutched the table hard enough his claws dug into the plastic guard, nervous in a way Stretch wasn’t used to seeing, “Ya been cursed or somethin’?! Is Edge?!”

“No! No, we’re fine- I’m just, uh, it’s a sympathetic pregnancy symptom,” Stretch cleared his throat, looking away from that strangely vulnerable expression. He had to force down the sudden urge to comfort Red, since he was sure his brother-in-law would probably bite him if he tried. Biology was so weird. “Monster babies are made from pieces of both their parents souls, right?”

Red finally nodded, hesitantly, 

“Since monsters are their souls, and Pancake’s claimed a piece of mine, then it makes sense I get zapped by some side effects, too.” He tried very very hard to keep his tone even, to not give into the urge to start babying his brother-in-law, “Can’t have one parent shouldering the whole thing, right?”

“Fine, fine, no curse-“ Red moved his hand impatiently, still restless and annoyed, “So? What’s a fuckin’ parentMOOD?”

“It’s what monsters call these extreme mood swings.” Blue sighed, leaning on the table, “Basically, the non-pregnant partner becomes super emotional and reacts disproportionately to every little thing. Like, they’ll cry if they’re sad over a movie, or smother you if they’re worried about you. It’s not always as pronounced as Pa- uh, Stretch’s case, something about physiology.”

Stretch knew Blue was talking generally, but that criticism still stung. Was he being overly emotional? Blue just told him it was fine! Besides, it didn’t feel like he was disproportionately reacting to anything- and he certainly wasn’t smothering.

“It’s biological,” Stretch muttered sulkily, crossing his arms over his chest as he sank down, “Sympathetic and empathetic partners mean better care for the pregnant parent! Better care for the pregnant parent means a healthier, happier Souling- so I am being a good Dad!”

“Of course you are, Papy! You’re going to be a great Papa!” Blue patted his brother’s arm indulgently, giving Red a meaningful look from across the table, “You should finish your coffee before it gets too cool.”

“Oh! Right!” Stretch took a cautious sip, but it was lukewarm at best. Ah well. Still delicious! 

“So...” Red rubbed at his face aggressively, speaking slowly, “Back up. Yer mood swings’ makin’ ya scared Edge’s gonna leave ya fer Underfell? Ok. So… why ya tellin’ us? Whatcha want us to do ‘bout it, Honey?”

“Obviously a little R&R- Reassurance and Relief!” Blue looked proud, although Stretch hadn’t actually thought about it that way, “You want me to comfort you, and Red to tell you what Edge is probably planning and thinking, right?”

“Ye-“ Stretch started to say, before stopping himself and frowning, “No? I don’t know? But that sounds really nice.” He turned his most pathetic, helpless pleading expression to his brother-in-law, “Pretty, pretty please?”

“Look.” Red grit through his teeth, holding his hands out on the table stiffly. Stretch recognized that gesture as Underfellese for ‘all cards on the table with nothing up my sleeve.’

“I ain’t know everythin’ in Edge’s empty-ass skull, ‘n he’s real fuckin’ shunsho sometimes,” Red sighed irritably, glaring at Stretch like he was personally responsible for that, “But he fuckin’ sucks at keepin’ his feelin’s quiet. He’ll do shit he ain’t wanna do if he gotta, but he bitches ‘n moans ‘n acts up the whole. Goddamn. Time.”

Stretch smiled at that, rubbing his wedding band fondly. He wouldn’t have put it in those terms, but yeah. Red was right.

“Ya think Edge’d be here if he didn’t want to? Ya think I’d be here if he wasn’t serious ‘bout him wanna being here?” Red wrenched his hands back to grab Stretch by the front of his hoodie, giving him a shake so hard something rattled loudly. Guilt didn’t have a chance to settle before he was being shaken like a maraca again. “Ain’t no goin’ back to Underfell, anyway! Fuckin’ told ya: Edge’s yer problem now, ‘n ain’t no takebacks!“

“But is he happy?” Stretch could read between the lines, but implication was different from confirmation.  “How do you know-“

“Ya real so goddamn shunsho!” Red started cursing unintelligibly, “Why ya askin’ that, huh?” Stretch didn’t have time to answer before Red gave him another hard shake. “‘Course he’s happy! Dumbass!”

Red shoved him backwards, and it was only Blue’s quick reaction time that kept his skull from smacking into the wood. 

“Even in Underfell y’ain’t gonna get no Soulin’ without love in yer heart fer yer partner!” There was an unusually friendly quality to that sharp smile. A lot like a shark might look at a fish it was about to eat. “If yer hubby’s outta sorts, s’cause yer freakin’ him out.” 

[ Part 1 - Here! ] [ Part 2 ]  [ Part 3 ]

[pack-the-pack]

But Why Omegaverse of All Things??!

Okay so, recently some minor conversation sparked because of one of my posts regarding omegaverse, and why is it a thing and why it’s so popular. I even talked briefly with one of the people curious about it. Therefore, I decided to give some insight and explanations(?) to maybe why this is the case, once and for all. Obviously, I can’t speak for anyone but myself, however I’ll take the liberty to make suppositions about what might have brought people to like it. So if you feel like you don’t agree with something or the reason behind why you’re into this flaming pile of trash with us is not explained here, feel free to add on to it. After all this is just my humble perspective.

{Where and When it started?}

Well Wikipedia says it all started around 2010 with the one, the only, the massive: Supernatural Fandom. But really this is kind of a trick question, cause Omegaverse didn’t “start” anywhere. Those who have been in the Star Trek fandom might recognise terms like “Pon Farr” and “mating bond”, and those have been around longer than the 2010′s. And these have a striking similarity (if not the same stuff) you might find in ABO works. There are ABO fics dated even before said dates, do it’s not a exactly a precise date we’re looking at here. So yeah, it doesn’t have a clear starting point, and with good reason. We can’t pinpoint it’s origins because ABO it’s a collective of various different aspects drawn from many different places at the same time. We don’t have any set rules to what is and what’s not Omegaverse. You have elements of lycanthropism, sex pollen, vampirism, wolf pack dynamics, mpreg, scenting, soul mating, knotting, etc. The whole shabam! But really no one agrees in anything. We all just have this abstract universal understanding of what Omegaverse is and what is not. The elements present can be tossed in and out without harming the concept in the slightest. It can have all or just a few elements mentioned above and it would be just as valid.

Granted, the “modern version” we know today become more popular and well stablished around 2014/2015 ‘til the current year. And why did this happen?

{Projection}

We are living in very turbulent times recently. Be it in the realm of politics or… yeah politics. But regardless it’s undeniable that some things are changing, be it for the worse or for the better on your perspective one thing is true and will always be: Once shit starts to hit the fan we like to sit in the corner for a while and project our feelings into something. Usually this outlet is fantasy and imagination, which leads to ABO… somehow. “Okay but why daheck Omegaverse of all things?” as the title of this post inquires. Cause let’s be honest, Omegaverse sure is weird. I think (and again this is just my OPINION) it’s because Omegaverse can get you out of the “normally perceived” human world and toss you into something that is different from your reality but still similar enough that you can project your thoughts into. And things don’t “change” in this world, is all kinda the same every time. Omegas are Omegas, Betas are Betas, and Alphas are Alphas. Regardless of gender, of class, of economics, of society, of anything. These things don’t change. And it might give us a false sense of security to look at a society and an entire world where things have a sense of certainty. Yah know… unlike real life.

{Simulation}

Trying to understand how the world works and why B is B and not C is what humans do best and what we have been doing for as long as we can remember. So when you say “Alphas are X, Y and Z” it stimulates your brain to go “but why daheckity heck is that?”, opening a whole new plethora of thoughts about how this fantastical world and the people in it works. This kinda intertwines with the projection part, cause ABO has the “animalistic” side of people presented way more forefront and highlighted than irl. But just like in ABO humans might be capable of rational thought but at the end of the day we’re just glorified animals with a big ol’ brain inside our bone-made-thought-cage known as a skull. Once you start to look at ABO in a “biological sense” some thoughts start to occur to you, such as: “Is this somehow applicable in my life?”, “do humans have similar biological drives like that?”, “Is this nurture or nature?”, “are we really more than animals?”, “how far does our biology interfere with society”, “is society molded around our biological needs or do our biological needs mold themselves around society?”, “how far can our brains interfere with our bodies and vice-versa”, etc.

Just like any other trope and fantastical concept Omegaverse can indeed offer you a valid platform to project and simulate things you might not understand about real life or even about yourself. It proves itself to be a really fun and entertaining process and it also has a plus for getting some biases that might interfere with your judgment out of the way thanks to its huge flexibility. Yes, I am indeed declaring that Omegaverse for all it’s quirkiness and weirdness is capable of provoking thought. You’re welcome, I regret nothing.

{World Building and The Whole DIY Aspect of It}

I think this one is the one that resonates with me the most out of all the reasons. For those who are into world building but aren’t very kin into having to start from the ground up or just aren’t very good at it… BOY Omegaverse has your back, son. Since everyone else kinda already did half the work for you all you gotta do is take the abstract core concept and go full Picasso on it. The liberty omegaverse gives you is unbelievable and the worlds you can build around it can range from small island to a whole galaxy system. Which is very rare for a fanfic/fanart trope. Cause the other most popular AUs are crowded in way more rules and stuff you gotta follow or else people start to poop their pants cause “the wands are made of dragon-heart-strings not scales YOU HEATHEN!”, But all joking and exaggerations aside ABO is really unique in this aspect. You can focus on the biology, fashion, architecture, culture, religion, history, art, music, entertainment, etc. All revolving around ABO. The ammount of things you can explore is simply insane. Crafting a society based around these three dynamics is beyond fun (and I know there are people who make more dynamics aside from these but I’ll stick with the basic ones). And having every person bring something new and crafted completely differently from what you have but having just the same core focus every time you click in a ABO work is really something special on it’s on.

I think D&D players might know this feeling all too well, cause although there are general concepts and stuff that don’t change, you’ll never have the same experience twice and everytime it’s a new different and exciting adventure in a whole new world to explore. ABO is kinda like that but with weird ass human-wolf people instead of classes :v 

{RPying and Making New Friends}

This one is not exactly my cup of tea but I’m aware that a lot of people stay in the ABO community for this reason. Since ABO has a lot of material to works with it can be a goldmine for people that are into RPying. Be it with friends or to meet new people, the ABO community is rarely judgemental and is open to pretty much everyone, so it can be lots of fun to incorporate all the aspects you love about ABO into some good time with nice people. I know that @omegaverse-seeker is one person’s blog you can go just to find other people willing to RP with you using Omegaverse. So if you’re interested go check it out. 

{Social Commentary}

If you follow me long enough you’ll know that BOY HOWDY do I hold some grudges against this one. But since it happens a lot I feel like it would be unfair for me to not comment on it. Many people use the whole ABO genre to build narratives and push some sort of agenda or just make a social commentary about the real world. And god knows how this drives me NUTS most part of the time, because Jesus is it done poorly 9 times out of 10. Even if it comes as totally annoying and breaks the immersion of things for most part, there are times in which is done well and results into some really interesting and thought provoking stories. Like I said before projection and simulation is a big part of this. So when someone manages to take something as broad as ABO and transform into something that will make you lay down your phone for a while to actually think about some aspects of your life and the lives around you it really is something. Obviously it ain’t gonna be A Clockwork Orange lvl kind of thought provoking. Let’s get real people we’re all just amateur students on the internet no need to overestimate things. But the potential is totally there. The genre allows for this kind of potential to exist. And given the talent, the time and the faith required Omegaverse can bring up some real intriguing questions about our lives and the society we live in.

{Coping Mechanisms}

This one might come off a little risky, cause god knows this site and the word “sensitive” go hand in hand with one another. But even if it sounds a little pretentious (like everything else in this list) I’ll say it either way. Some people might use ABO to cope with some things they are not entirely comfortable with (I’ll not enter into the whole transgender “issue” that is brought up every  time someone wants to talk about how terrible Omegaverse is, Okay? That’s a whole can of worms I’m just not willing to open here, and not today… or maybe ever. But I digress. Back to other forms of copying) Some people might use Omegaverse to cope with some aspects of themselves they are still trying to come into terms with. Since within Omegaverse there are three dynamics, each with two genders, and every single one of them with exceptions within exceptions this can be a good outlet for people who might not “fit in” with what they belive they should be. For example a boy who’s more feminine and not as physically strong as his peers might look at ABO and see all the Omegas and Betas and go like “Oh I’m not defective or not as good I’m just different”. Or a girl who’s too masculine and physically strong dispite being a girl (like myself) might look at ABO and go “Oh, I’m not out of place, I’m just more ‘Alpha’-like”. Or “I’m not average. I’m a Beta”, lol @betasverse is gonna kill me for this one. 

Generally I don’t encourage this form of coping mechanism, or any form of coping mechanisms by that matter. I personally think that you should face reality as it is and try not to run away from it using short cuts and made up explanations. But if this is what gave you the initial kick or what’s helping you in the process of coming into yourself all the power to you my dude. Just try not to get too lost in it okay?

{Kinks}

And last but not least, you might just be into this sort of stuff. A lot of ABO is not plot related AT ALL. It’s just pure porn without plot and the bliss of dirty-dirty kinks. And Hey what’s wrong with that? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ We all got something that turns us on. If yours is people in heat and the whole submissive-dominant, Mpreg or any other things going on in ABO, go ahead children. Have all the fun. And if someone tells you it’s wrong to “fetishize” this or that, just tell them to shove it up their butt. Cause this is a stupid word anyways and what you do in the privacy of your home with yourself or any other consenting person is nobody’s fucking business but your own. 

There’s also other things like family Dyncamics you’d like to see incorporated to your ship. Or you think some tropes within Omegaverse are cute and think it would suit your OTP very nicely, etc. But I think I tackled all the main ones already, and if we are to analyse every fucking reason we’ll be here forever. So there you go people. The answer for “but why Omegaverse of all things?”.  

If you’re curious about any of the things I said here and want to see them be put in practice I suggest looking up mine and all the other ABO content creators here on tumblr and on ao3. Here’s a master list you can use for the tumblr ones. And here some good ABO fics with interesting concepts as a starting point if you’re new to the whole thing (a fair warning tho, most of them are incomplete and in permanent hiatus).

[hey-kids-want-some-avengers]

Twelve days of Christmas: day 4. Baby, it’s cold outside.

Baby, it’s cold outside. A/N: this is like fluffy, sorta smutty Christmas crack with a giant bow on top. Sam and Bucky get snowed in during a storm and during their time forced together Sam decides they need to make sure the human race doesn't die out. Yup. _____________________________________________ Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Sam Wilson Warnings: NO MPREG! snow storm, hate/love, dirty talk, general smut-y stuff, fluff, anxious Bucky ✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨ Sam was too drunk to go home last night, simple as that. Steve, Sam and Bucky had stayed in, drinking and talking, a movie in the background for the better part of Christmas. It had been fun, really, and even though Bucky and Sam bickered at every occasion, it had actually been nice. Around 1am or so, Steve had gone home (stupid super serum soldiers and their crazy bodies) and offered Sam a ride, of course, because Steve's a gentleman. Sam denied it though, said he would call a cab later and that he wanted to finish the movie and his beer. Bucky hadn't complained, just threw on some pajamas and sipped a mug of tea because apparently he's an old lady, and sat on the chair opposite of him after showing Steve out. Sam couldn't remember anything past that for the life of him, but waking up on Bucky's couch with a blanket over him and his head pounding loud enough in his ears he feels like he might die is sign enough he didn't make it home. He probably passed out before either of them called a cab. He'd been past a little drunk, but Sam liked drinking, especially over a holiday and with Steve, Bucky too, he guessed. It took the tension out of everything. He heaved himself up after a few more minutes, waiting for the room to stop spinning. "Shit," he mumbled, rubbing his eyes tiredly. The lights were all off, but he could smell coffee from the other room, so he figured Bucky was probably awake. The guy only ever slept like, what, two hours? He stood, his balance thrown a little as it spun, tilting. He’d drunk too much, and he was currently thanking the heavens above for blessing him with a strong stomach and alcohol tolerance. He’d never had a really bad hang over before, honestly. A little nausea, bit of a headache, but not much else. “Hey, Bucky?” He called out awkwardly, his voice sounded gruff. Bucky emerged a few moments later, wearing grey sweats and a red t-shirt, hair pulled back. He raised an eyebrow at him skeptically. “Huh?” He doesn’t look amused, but he looks like it’s normal that Sam passed out in his house. “Sorry, about last night?” He said awkwardly, smoothing a hand over his face. Bucky shrugged and went back to the kitchen, emerging with two mugs of coffee, still steaming. “It’s fine, ya feelin’ okay?” He asked, setting Sam’s mug on the table. “Not bad, been worse,” he said, picking up the mug after he sat back down on the couch. “I’ll get outta your hair soon.” Bucky gives him a look like he just stripped naked in a supermarket, before glancing towards the window. “Yeah, uh, that’s not gonna happen.” Sam looked at him blankly. Seriously, this guy couldn’t ever just explain, he had to be so cryptic. It was infuriating. Bucky leaned back in his stupid old-guy recliner and sipped at his coffee. Of course he drank it black. “We’re snowed in,” he said flatly, peering at him, over his mug. And upon looking out the window, he found he really wasn’t kidding. There was packed down snow as high as the windows, only a tiny gap at the top, exposing wind and of course, more snow. Fuck. “Oh hell no,” Sam said hurriedly, waving a finger at Bucky. “I’ve got shit I gotta get done!” “Like what, sit on your ass?” Bucky grinned. “I’m not you.” Bucky glares accordingly and huffs. “Yeah, whatever, you ain’t gonna be able to make it out any time soon,” he shrugged. “Steve’s held up in a hotel somewhere.” “Awesome,” Sam grumbled. Bucky seemed virtually Unphased. “So we’re gonna be the last sad fuckers on this planet?” Bucky snorts. “Yeah, right,” he says as he kicks his legs up. Wow, who wears sweats that tight anyways? He hates this guy, hates him so much his dick hurts. What. Bucky raises an eyebrow at him. He’s staring, smooth Wilson, smooth. He jerks his eyes to his own coffee abruptly “it’ll probably safe to get home in a day or two?” Bucky says, though he doesn’t sound sure of himself. He has no idea, he’s sure. “Yeah, guess we’ll see,” he says back awkwardly. Bucky shrugs, goes back to sipping at his coffee. The house is a little cold, dim too. There’s no light coming from the windows, after all. But it’s not uncomfortable, and somehow they haven’t lost power, so he’ll take that as a win. Sam sighed, drumming his fingers against his cup. He should probably drink it before it gets cold, but there’s a thick tension in the room he can’t shake off. Bucky’s not even looking at him, but it’s awkward, feels like he’s on the spot light, like maybe Bucky’s doing everything in his power not to look at him. The situation sucks, really. “Hopefully it doesn’t get much worse, we’re running on my backup generator,” he says absently after another agonizing minute of silence. “You have a fucking backup generator in this thing?” Sam asks, eyebrows raised. The house isn’t that big, it’s only got two rooms, a bathroom and small kitchen and living room. He’s not sure where one would even go. “Yes,” he says back, glaring. “Lucky for you.” Sam shrugs, because he’s not wrong, he just can’t figure out why, when and how this thing came to be. Or where for that matter. A few hours pass, Sam’s taken a shower, and yeah, he purposefully uses all the hot water, brushed his teeth with a spare toothbrush Bucky has, and put his clothes back on. He’d finished his second mug of coffee and was settling back into the couch when the lights flickered. Bucky wasn’t even in the room, he’d excused himself around the time Sam went to take a shower so he could clean up and get dressed into something a little less sloppy, not that Sam gave a shit. He gave the light a long hard stare, because there was no way in hell he was gonna freeze to death in the dark, but he stopped and the heater was still thrumming, so he relaxed a little. It wasn’t until Bucky re-emerged in jeans and a hoodie, flopping down unreasonably close to Sam that the lights finally do just go out. The heater stops on queue and it’s silent. “Fucking hell,” Sam mutters and by the look on Bucky’s face, he thinks he’s feeling the same way. “Shit,” he breathes, rolling his eyes. “Well so much for that.” “I’m gonna die, stuck in a shitty little house with you.” “Oh boo hoo, Wilson,” Bucky retorted. “I made you coffee, gave you the couch, let you take a damn shower, I think you’re gonna survive.” Sam huffs. “Not if I have to sit around you much longer.” Bucky rolls his eyes. “Yeah, right.” Sam and Bucky sit next to each other in silence, probably looking like children with their arms folded over their chests, refusing to look at each other. He hates how much he actually can stand Bucky. He drives him crazy, of course, but it’s in a good way, even if he claims it isn’t. He’s thought about Bucky when he was alone on more than one occasion, and he’s never (almost) actually hated their time together. He kind of treasures it in a weird way. He knows Bucky is going to drive him insane, both with annoyance and sexually, but he can’t find it in him to care. “Seriously though, everyone else is gonna die out,” Sam says again, finally. Bucky looks at him, unamused. “Why would we be the only survivors?” “We’ve had heat the longest,” he shrugs. “You’re assuming.” “Pretty damn sure.” “Okay, fine, but we’ll still die eventually.” Sam sighs, exasperated. “That’s why I said we have to,” he pauses, motioning vaguely with his hands. “Repopulate.” Bucky makes a face. “Last I checked we all have dicks here,” Bucky says seriously, and yeah he totally just stared at Sam’s crotch, because of course he did. “When did you check, I must’ve missed that?” “So you don’t have a dick?” Wow, how did they end up here? Sam shakes his head with a low chuckle. “I think we both know the answer is that I very much do, have a dick.” Bucky shrugs. “What?” “Didn’t say anything.” “You’re all—shrugging, you shrugged!” “So?” Bucky looks at him like he’s crazy. “What, you don’t believe me now?” “I never said I didn’t,” Bucky says with a grin. “I swear to God-“ Sam starts, but before he’s finished, they’re kissing. Sam honestly has no idea how it happened. He’s not even entirely sure which one of them made the move, but neither of them seem to really mind either way. It’s surprisingly softer than Sam thought it would be, when he’d actually thought about it, he’d always assumed it would be rushed, kind of hard. Honestly, minus the slight chapped scrape of Bucky’s lips, everything about it is soft and slow, gentle. When they do part, they’re still only inches apart, and Bucky’s looking at him carefully. “Huh,” Bucky says, pulling Sam into his lap with disturbing ease, kissing him again. Of course he doesn’t complain, it’s a fine late Christmas present. He’s kind of been waiting for it. Especially after he discovered that Bucky can’t shop for shit. “What?” Sam asks, a little breathy when Bucky breaks it again. “Nothing, Nothing,” Bucky says, but it’s beyond clear he’s lying. “No, what is it Barnes?” “You’re honestly really easy to work with, are we sure you’re not the one without a dick here?”

[kokichiomakin]

Roquill Misc. Thoughts

(there’s a little line in the middle of this if you don’t want to read the more smutty stuff so take notice of that)

everyone always seems to think that rocket is really inexperienced when it comes to romance/sex and i understand why you might think that

but consider: lylla

he’s not completely unused to the idea of romance, it’s just that in the sense of roquill he just thinks that quill is too good for him, he isn’t from halfworld, he doesn’t look like him, if he was supposed to find anyone it was probably her and somehow that got all messed up so good going

but honestly

consider: rocket is very envious of gamora, every time quill’s attention has been on her instead of him he’s acted out to get his attention back (and when he and quill finally become a couple that part is blatantly obvious and at least he slowly calms down with it because quill is essentially ‘jfc no i care about you, not her, she’s OUR friend, yeah, but YOU’RE my boyfriend’ - on that semi-related note, just try to tell me that rocket stealing the batteries in gotg2 isn’t entirely because quill didn’t care about his music player and focused on gamora too much, rocket clearly never needed the money, the motivation was getting quill’s attention somehow, even if it was negative, he just wants to be focused on) but quill is also pretty secretly jealous of lylla, in a way

lylla was called rocket’s soulmate, by all senses of the word they were supposed to end up together and if she’s still out there the fear still exists in his mind that rocket could still somehow end up with her and no, he does not like that, nuh-uh, get her away he hates anyone being called rocket’s ‘soulmate’ but him, and so much as he might try to hide it, if she were ever really around him he’d be far far far more standoffish towards her than he’d ever been towards anyone else

of course rocket would find this hilarious in a way because what??? HE’S jealous??? what? i’m so used to glaring at any girl that goes by that this is a flarking riot of course at some point he’d probably just tug quill down so they were eye-to-eye and smirk and comment i thought you of all people would know that i’m not even into women anymore, good god. and before you say it - ‘cause i know you’re gonna - i’m not really into any guys, neither. ‘cept you. you’re my baby boo, no one else is. 

ofc someone’s gotta poke them and go guys we still have a mission to drag them out of the likely make-out fest that follows, but you know

also, if you think gamora’s reaction to ayesha hitting on quill in gotg2 was bad, rocket in that position would’ve been so much worse less subtle glaring, more outright crossing his arms, tapping his foot, a-HEM, they’re all ugly anyways they’re creepy and yellow and if they want to ‘study natural reproduction’ they can SHOVE SOMETHING UP THEIR OWN--

quill’s just gotta hold rocket and go shhshh and eventually rocket will calm he gets a bit smug when it’s made clear that he’s the one quill loves but that’s okay, it usually just manifests as a little smug grin and nuzzling into him

SMUT PORTION

on another note with that ‘rocket is inexperienced’ idea, i’d think he knows what sex is, he’s not naive, it’s just that he’s probably ever only done it once with lylla and whoops, that’s it and that was probably heavily just well, that happened, it was....okay, i guess?

the part that he’s inexperienced on is that quill is a) a human, and b) male, and okay, he gets how it works with men-women and he knows it can be done same-sex wise but he’s not going to admit the fact that he has no idea the specifics, but no, he has no idea, and part of him is kinda afraid that that won’t ever happen anyway because hahaha just look at him, sure, they can do the cute kisses and hugs thing fine but actual sexual intimacy he’ll probably never want--

quill’s opinion on the subject is i have done so much weirder so me being sexually attracted to rocket is not surprising, he’s my boyfriend after all so?? yeah ofc 

rocket would legitimately be shocked by that and quill just holds him in his arms and just softly sighs with a grin you’re never gonna really realize it and i know you won’t, but i think you’re incredibly handsome, ‘kay? you’re beautiful and someday i’m gonna get you to see that, too

that pretty much entirely wins over rocket because the fact that he sounds so sincere and he’s so caring and perfect and flark it, i’m his

of course their first time would be a bit confusing on rocket’s part because oh i lift up my tai--OH...that’s....that’s what happens, okay, um,...okay, i trust you

note that quill has probably made sure that everyone else on the team is off doing something else for the night because he highly suspects that rocket is not the quiet type and lord is he right not that it probably isn’t pretty hot, though, and he’d never say it to rocket out loud but holy shit rocky is good at playing up the submissive angle

not that rocket doesn’t know that, of course, and he’d gladly manipulate that if he so pleased

the sex is good but the day after their first time?? rocket is having a lot of trouble with this ‘can’t sit down’ portion of things and he is swearing far more than normal because D’AAAAAAST IT HURTS and quill is barely keeping himself from cracking up, rocket just glares at him every now and then but he’s pretty sure it was worth it

by the way, yes, rocket does have heats quill will just immediately go WELL, ROCKET AND I ARE GOING ON VACATION FOR A LITTLE WHILE WE’LL SEE YOU SOMETIME SOON C’MON ROCKY LET’S GO the rest of the guardians have to handle things for a while, that’s fine, mostly, though at some point someone probably does call in asking for the ‘leader’ and gamore just has to go yeah, he’s on vacation the other person pauses and goes okay what about the second in command he’s on vacation too ...third in command? you’re speaking to her

so yeah, i don’t believe rocket is inexperienced with sex in general, just sex with guys he has no idea until quill shows him how it’s done (and ofc quill knows, peter quill is completely pansexual and i will not hear otherwise)

something else worth noting: headcanon that celestials are very very intent on reproduction whether it be with women or men so whoops, sorry rocket, your boyfriend is half-living god so he could easily knock you up on accident

OKAY THAT PART’S OVER BACK TO CUTE

THIS IS CUTE IF YOU’RE DOWN WITH ROQUILL MPREG OTHERWISE SKIP AND YEAH, I DID A FANFIC A LONG WHILE BACK BUT THESE THOUGHTS ARE MORE IRONED OUT

okay so about that rocket getting accidentally knocked up situation that’s a very viable possibility

rocket throwing up is probably nothing new because the raccoon drinks a lot and even he is just like okay this is worse than normal but nothing completely unexpected until he deliberately refrains from drinking one night and still ends up puking so??? maybe i’m just sick idfk

 it’s only when he starts realizing that he’s getting a bit more chubby is the sign that makes him go okay what no this shouldn’t be happening i’m not eating any more than normal what is going on quill, being quill, has a natural aversion to hospitals and doctors offices because they give him the bad worrying feelings that he tries really really hard to ignore because no, rocket needs this and they both crack up at the idea of oh, rocket’s pregnant, ha up until they realize that ‘quill is half-celestial’ bit of things and it all slowly starts to piece together that no, this isn’t a joke

rocket is horrified, by the way, and freaks out pretty bad because FOR ONE I’M A GUY, FOR TWO WHAT THE HELL IS IT GOING TO LOOK LIKE WITH A COMBINATION OF OUR GENES?? FOR THREE okay, imagine this all turns out okay, do you really think either of us are mature enough for this?? 

that last one quill just kinda quietly goes well i mean you were really good when groot was a baby so

and it’s obvious quill feels awful about this because this wouldn’t even be a thing if not for him

rocket just lightly sighs and just nuzzles into him and goes look, neither of us knew, i’m not mad at you, i’m just...scared. really, really, really, really scared.  but i guess this is happening, whether we like it or not, so....

he just tries to chuckle

because his next words are you realize that this gives me an excuse to be even more pissy than normal, right? ...ain’t that gonna be fun. good luck.

he’s not lying, either

normal rocket is bad, pregnant rocket is a terror that is not yet known to the hearts of mankind, those mood swings are HORRIFYING and the only ones able to calm him are quill, groot, and mantis if she uses her powers and she probably has to at least once

rocket is very upset that he can’t drink at the moment, by the way, even if everyone else sees that as a good thing, he probably tries to more than once and everyone has to make sure that the alcohol is kept away from him

plus, when he’s getting further into the pregnancy, the fact that he can’t go on missions outright pisses him off because WHO CARES IF I’M KIND OF FAT, FIGHT ME, I STILL HAVE THE FASTEST TRIGGER-FINGER IN TWENTY-SEVEN GALAXIES, YOU ALL NEED ME, and he eventually relents because quill is the one person who can convince him into anything through sweet words and rocket kinda hates it but he’s in too deep at this point so quill is able to get him to stay on the ship even if rocket ends up being a bit huffy at it all

the delivery has to be c-section obviously because of the whole ‘being male’ thing, and this entire time rocket has expected it to be some horrifying thing that’d live for like three minutes or so and then die

but no, perfectly fine little girl with big brown eyes and raccoon ears and tail and he just is lying there completely dumbfounded meanwhile everyone else just. they love her. rocket loves her too but he’s just so surprised he didn’t even think of a name or anything he was just going to call it ‘the thing that came from me’ because he heavily expected some kind of furred misshapen creepy thing but no, she’s adorable

the first name that comes ti his mind is lucille, or lucy (because of course, rocket is originally a gigantic beatles reference) so she ends up with full name lucille meredith quill

she’s probably a cheerful little thing, honestly, but she will grab at and try to bite anything and everything, the only ones able to stop her are her dads or groot, she loves groot

she ends up having brown hair, raccoon ears on top of her head, big brown eyes, raccoon tail, and she acts a lot like rocket she is tomboyish, smart, and she has her little upset spells where she’ll only speak to either of her two dads or groot but she’s also a bit more lighthearted and she can easily have quill’s natural talent at being sociable if she so pleases, it’s just that predictably she thinks most people are idiots which rocket agrees with without hesitation he will not disagree bc when his baby girl is right she’s right people are dumb

she’s still a bit more lighthearted and friendly, but she clearly has a lot of rocket’s personality in her while she looks a lot like quill

and much like rocket, she will bite at anyone who tries to touch her without her explicit permission and her ears will twitch when she’s excited, she’s a cute little thing and her dads love her very much

OKAY THAT’S IT FOR NOW I THINK I’LL PROBABLY HAVE MORE LATER, BUT YEAH

[redvelvetreel]

Red Velvet Reel 9.2: Blue Ain’t (Usually) My Color

            [Fic Directory]

Pairing: [Married] Spicyhoney (Underfell Papyrus x Underswap Papyrus)

Summary: Stretch learns a little bit more about everything: parentMOOD, funeral traditions, *what Edge is probably thinking.* But at least he knows how to move forward now!

Characters: Stretch (Underswap Papyrus) & Red (Underfell Sans)& Blue (Underswap Sans)

Contains: Mpreg/Skelepreg! Candid discussions of monster funerary traditions! Different monster cultural traditions between universes!  

Rating: Teen and up! (I guess?)

Note: Additional cultural notes/elaborations available at the bottom so as to avoid spoilers! :)

“Me?!” Stretch gaped, unable to keep the surprised indignation out of his tone, “Me?!”

Before Red could say anything else, Blue kicked him under the table again, “Thank you for all that, Red!” Blue put his mouth literally against the side of his brother’s skull, saying as quietly as possible, “He’s an asshole but he’s right.”

Somehow, Red still heard him.  Still stuck his tongue out petulantly, but he was obviously flattered. Even if he kicked Blue under the table and steal his last biscotti. It was kinda cute.

Stretch shook his head free of that weird thought, focusing on his confused outrage, “What do you mean I’m freaking him out?!” Wait, he was the master of his emotions, he could ask this quietly and civilly! Think soothing thoughts, like clouds and kittens and successful science projects- “I mean, how am I putting Edge on... edge?” Hehe. “I’m doing my best to not do that?”

“Well,” Blue folded his hands under his chin, looking thoughtful, “Edge still has his intent sensitivity-“

“Parent sense!” Red chimed in helpfully, chewing noisily as he dunked his biscotti in the remaining half of Stretch’s coffee. He felt a deep pang of sadness, one that he couldn’t blame entirely on Pancake. He downed the rest of it before his brother-in-law could double-dunk.

“So, even if you tried to act like everything was fine, he would still be able to detect your intent.” Blue, trying so hard to be careful, was endearing and annoying, and it was a struggle to try and push those conflicting feelings away.

“‘N ya ain’t too good an actor!” Red swiped Blue’s mug, using the last sliver of biscotti to scrape whipped cream off the inside.

“You’re a great actor!” Blue assured him firmly, pointedly ignoring his obnoxious counterpart. “But the parentMOOD heightens your emotions, and makes it more... obvious when you are... troubled.”

“Saw ya lookin’ sad way aways.” Red had gotten a spoon from somewhere, and was using it to scrape up the dregs from his coffee cup,”‘N ya get lil’ poofs ‘a intent when yer moods swingin’.”

“Do- Do I really?!” Stretch couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “So my stupid mood swings are undermining my best attempts to play it cool? And are straining my marriage?”

“Papy.” Blue was a very patient monster, but even he looked like he might be nearing his limit, “Your marriage is fine. Edge isn’t going to divorce you over being a little moody. He’s moody!”

“Yep.” Red was playing with the spoon now, trying to balance it on the tips of his claws, “S’not his style, ‘n Fell ain’t real big on ‘divorce. ‘Fore it got bad, Boss’d prolly kill ya ‘n put ya in an osario.”

“Oh.” Stretch wasn’t sure if he was comforted or alarmed by that tidbit. Blue looked horrified, so he probably should feel more like that. Weird. “What’s that?”

“Osario’s lotsa stuff- s’box thing. Glass ‘n shit. For ya? Mm... ‘Prolly a collar.” Red’s smile stretched wider at that reaction, voice nonchalant even as he watched Blue carefully. Out of the corner of his eye. “Touchy-feely bastard’ prolly carry ya around whole damn time, too. No inventori for ya, Honey.”

“WHAT?!” Blue was aghast, looking pale, so Stretch absolutely shouldn’t have felt a little flattered at that. And certainly not pleased. “Edge regularly carries...” Blue fidgeted, lowering his voice to a strained whisper, “Monster dust?”

“Before, yeah?” Red didn’t look like he quite understood the question, “Not now. Didn’t bring none here, don’t think.”

“WhY?!” Blue rubbed at his face, “Underfell is a terrible, vicious place, I know-“ Stretch winced at that, remembering Edge’s bitter sulk after the whole bar incident. Had his little meltdown over that whole will-death talk make his husband’s insecurities worse? “But what reason could any monster possibly have to carry that around?!”

“Sos ya can honor the dead, Baby Blue.” Red gave the other skeleton a sharp look, “What else ya gonna do? Stick ‘em up like a goddamn decoration? Psh. Ain’t nothin’ sadder than being goddamn forgotten.”

Oh nooooo, this was just a huge cultural misunderstanding. Edge wasn’t being macabre! He totally hurt his hubby’s feelings! On something Edge was already sensitive about! 

“I told you like a hundred times- that’s Undertale! In Underswap, everyone who knew them puts some of monster’s dust in a pot of soil!” Red and Blue were still going at it. “Then, you plant an echo flower seed and care for it until it blooms. Then, it will have your loved one’s voice, and it feels like you can talk to them! That’s the opposite of forgotten!”

“That’s fuckin’ creepy, man.” Red shuddered, making that peace-bless hand signal over all three of them. “Dust’s dust! It havin’ a Dusted’s magic color ‘n voice just ain’t right.”

“How is carrying your friend’s dust everywhere you go any less creepy?!” Blue threw his arms up. “At least you don’t actually see the dust on an echo flower, and it’s quietly tended to! At home!”

“‘Cause we ain’t pretendin’ they ain’t dusted! Fine, look, s’diff for diff monsters ‘n shit, but here’s how Edge’d do it-“ Oh noooo, it was cultural AND something personally important to Edge! Stretch put his head in his hands. Oh, he fucked up so bad. 

“Lil’ bit of dust s’given to whatever bastard wants it, yeah? Crown takes s lil’ dusted RG go in this lil’ medal thing, ‘n their put in...” Red made a face, struggling with the phrasing, “Patria... temple...? Some bullshit place, lotsa flowers ‘n ribbon ‘n shit, s’like ‘rememberin’ the fallen’ whatever.”

Red rubbed at his face like he was getting a headache, “S’long story, but as Cap’n he was wearin’ a diff osario a day. Come in Grillby’s, pour a lil’ rum out fer the Angel ‘n the Dusted ‘n down rest. ‘Everybody’d do it, too. ‘N we’d chat about ‘em, laugh ‘n just... remember.”

He sighed deeply, tone soft and melancholic, “Ain’t nothin’ scarier for Fell than thinkin’ yer life ain’t matter. That y’ain’t make no kind of mark on no one at all.”

Blue didn’t say anything at that, watching Red carefully with veiled pity. Or was that understanding? “I guess that doesn’t sound so terrible. It’s the same principle as our Memorial Echo tradition.” He smiled, “Knowing that your loved ones will keep you alive in their memories, even as they make new ones with a piece of you at their side. It seems like it would give some monsters peace of mind.”

Damn. Stretch hadn’t mentioned what he and Edge had actually ‘fought’ about! How did Red and Blue know?! There was no way this conversation hadn’t been orchestrated- it was way too creepily relevant! At the same time, Edge probably hadn’t told them. He was always saying ‘dirty laundry is done at home,’ so how...?

“Are you ok, Papy?” Blue looked concerned, reaching out to turn his face toward the light, “You’re looking a little pale-“

He pulled away, putting his brother’s hand back on the table. “I don’t know how you both know what you know,” Stretch started warily, eyeing them both suspiciously, “And it’s still creepy- but ok. I got your message. Loud and clear.”

              [Part 1] [Part 2 - Here!] [ Part 3 ]  

Notes/Clarification:

-Osario in English is "Ossuary," but for the purposes of Underfell culture, think of it more as a "reliquary." Those are these ornate containers for venerated objects in Catholicism, and come in a variety of shapes and sizes.

-Collar is a double entendre: it's like the dog collar kind in English, but in Spanish it's just a necklace.

- The saying in spanish is, "La ropa sucia se lava en casa," or "Dirty laundry is washed at home." Meaning you don't air dirty laundry/family issues and stuff in front of people. 

-Underswap monster funerals: Echo flowers are a memorial flower, and because they're magical flowers, soil infused with monster dust gives them that monster's voice! They'll echo back whatever you tell them in the voice of the deceased, so it's customary to keep them at home and just... talk to them, hear the things you miss the most. "I love you" is the usual phrase of choice. They're pretty hardy flowers, so they live for as long as they're cared for.

[redvelvetreel]

Red Velvet Reel 4.4: A Crabapple A Day

                                           [Fic Directory]

Pairing: [Married] Spicyhoney (Underfell Papyrus x Underswap Papyrus)

Summary: Blue puts a stop to Red and Edge’s teasing, Stretch lightens the mood- and Edge literally drags his feet.

Characters: Edge (Underfell Papyrus) & Stretch (Underswap Papyrus) & Red (Underfell Sans) & Blue (Underswap Sans) & Undyne (Underswap Undyne)

Contains: Mpreg/Skelepreg! Awkward & Anxious Swapdyne! Lil’ sibling antagonism! Iatrophobia (fear of doctors)!

Rating: Teen and up! (I guess?)

Note:  Hello! This is a queued post! I’ll try to edit the links as soon as possible, but since I only have mobile access right now, it’s a little tough... But I’ll get to it eventually! Thank you for your support! <3 

Smack! Both of the Fell brother’s jumped, whipping their heads back to stare in clear surprise as they moved out of Blue’s range. As though a switch had turned, their previous demeanor of menace and power was replaced with incredulity and irritation. Undyne stopped shaking, staring at Blue with her mouth hanging open. “Boys, behave,” Blue said evenly, giving them the sharp Mom(TM) look Stretch had frequently received in his youth. Blue leaned down, grabbing Undyne’s hands and pulling her upright easily. He straightened her lab coat, tutting, “What were you two even thinking? What is the strategic benefit of scaring the doctor to death?” He whirled on them suddenly, wagging a finger at them, “Who’s going to do both of your check ups, hm? What if she didn’t like your little stunt and tried to poison you?” “Oh my god!” Undyne whispered, bringing her hands up to her mouth in horrified fascination, eyes darting to Stretch, “Did- Did your brother just spank them?!”

Stretch crossed his arms thoughtfully, before shrugging and whispering back, “Maybe? His Mom(TM) mode is fearless AND terrifying.” “Gonna ‘member that, Baby Blue,” Red sounded sullen, rubbing his coccyx like he had been grievously wounded, “Watch yer fuckin’ back.” Edge had already recovered, ignoring the bickering between Red and Blue to stand in front them. Undyne was still slightly taller, even with his heels, but he seemed to tower over her anyway. “And who is this strange woman you seem so well acquainted with?” he sniffed, pointedly ignoring the incredulous look Stretch was giving him. Undyne brightened considerably, clasping her hands in front of her and bowing deeply (just like her idols always did,) “It’s an honor to meet you, sir! I’m Undyne, the Royal Physician!” “Doctor.” Edge offered her his hand, and Undyne stared at it in bewildered confusion. She took gently, holding it loosely as though unsure what to do with it. Edge dipped into his charming, formal event persona, “My husband has always spoken of you with great admiration and affection. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.” “I...” Undyne dropped to her knees, bringing Edge’s hand to her lips in a kiss, then touching it to her forehead. She looked at Stretch over her shoulder, head still bowed, “Is that how you greet military?” “You’re thinking royalty, actually,” Blue answered kindly, valiantly trying to suppress his giggles while Red was positively guffawing on the floor. Edge didn’t even smile, but it was clear from how tightly he clenched his fists that it was only through sheer self-control. “DynDyn,” Stretch grabbed her under her armpits, hoisting her to her feet and maneuvering her like a rag doll. “Relax! This is Edge, the Military Attaché at the Monster Embassy... and my husband.” He shifted his hold so she was hanging over one arm like a doll, using his free hand to grab her arm and wave it. Edge waved back indulgently, snickering as soon as her back was turned. Stretch walked her over to Red, who was still laughing softly on the ground, “This is Red, Assistant to the Attaché and Economic Advisor to the Embassy. He’s also my brother-in-law.” “What’s up, doc?” Red winked at her, content to lie on the floor even as Blue started nudging him to get back up. “You know Blue. And me.” Stretch walked her back over to Edge, leaning down so Undyne was eye level with his his stomach, “And last but not least is your patient-“ Edge crossed his arms and pointedly turned away, looking self-conscious as he cleared his throat, “An introduction better suited to your examination room, I would think.” “Aw, ain’t he cute, all bashful-like?” Red leered, half-draped over Blue who was struggling to haul him to his feet. “Ya embarrassed, Mama Bear?” “Of my own baby?!” Edge looked incensed, hands twitching to the hem of his shirt, “How dare you-?!” “Ow!” Red rubbed his head ruefully, glaring at Blue who held his fist aloft in clear warning. Blue sounded exasperated, “Edge, don’t let him goad you into anything! Don’t pull your shirt up! Red, stop harassing your brother!” “Ok, Mom,” Red grinned mischievously as he threw all his weight onto Blue, forcing the other monster to stagger backwards. Blue grunted, instinctively grabbing the other skeleton by his sides as he tried to stabilize their positions. Red leaned forward so they were nose to nose, arms wrapped around Blue’s neck in a vice grip. “I don’t know what you’re trying to pull,” Blue warned darkly, “But if you burp in my face, I will fucking kill you.” Stretch put Undyne back on her feet, pushing her towards the door she had come out of earlier. She immediately hurried into the hallway and towards another door leading to a smaller examination room, “Here, come on in! Usually Reggie G. Jr. and R.G. the Second come help me on weekdays, but I asked them to make sure this room was tidy today! Not that I would ever allow conditions here to be anything less than tidy, of course! It’s just-” Stretch put his hand on the small of Edge’s back, lightly pushing him forward- to no avail. Stretch quirked a browbone, wrapping his arm around Edge’s shoulder, and pushing more insistently, forcing his husband a few paces forward. “We’ll see you in a bit, Blue, Red. Try not to kill each other, ok?” Stretch called over his shoulder. “I make no promises,” Blue sounded serious, but they were still doing that weird semi-hug standoff thing, so Stretch just shrugged. “Come on, buddy, in we go,” Stretch was expecting some reluctance, but he didn’t think it’d be the dig-his-heels-in, grab-onto-the-door-jam kind of resistance. He grabbed Edge’s hands, gently prying them off the door and hugging them to his chest. “Easy does it, Pancake, Edge,” Stretch ended up half-picking up and dragging Edge to the examination room, being sure to stand between him and the door as it shut behind him.

[Part 1] [Part 2]   [Part 3]   [Part 4 - Here!]  [Part 5]  [Part 6] [Part 7]

[redvelvetreel]

Red Velvet Reel 3.2: Bother-in-law

                                            [Fic Directory]

Pairing: [Married] Spicyhoney (Underfell Papyrus x Underswap Papyrus)

Characters: Edge (Underfell Papyrus) & Stretch (Underswap Papyrus) & Red (Underfell Sans) & Blue (Underswap Sans)

Summary: Stretch and Blue have a heart to heart. Then Edge and blue have a heart to heart. There’s some progress, but...

Contains: Mpreg/Skelepreg! Domestic Fluff! Pancake(s) again! Mentions of violence! Sibling fights & fluff! Some swearing! Misunderstandings, overreactions, and fights that slowly get resolved!

Rating: Teen and up! (I guess? I don’t know ;;;;)

Note: Thank you for your support, always! <3

“Of course not,” now Blue was patting Stretch’s back, shifting so he was sitting on the floor next to his brother instead, “If you’re happy and this is something you both want, then I think it’s wonderful.  I’m happy for both of you, and I approve one hundred percent.” Stretch nodded, and they lapsed into companionable silence. Stretch spoke up suddenly, “He didn’t want to tell Red either. So I don’t think it’s you- or just you, anyway. Maybe it is just a case of the nerves.” “Well, this is kind of nerve-wracking,” Blue agreed, “And Edge and Red are still getting used to the way we do things in this universe. As much as they try to pretend everything is fine, I think they still have a hard time getting out of that ‘Fell’ mindset. I can’t imagine having a child in that horrible place is easy, and Edge is probably unconsciously thinking along those lines.” “You think so?” Stretch pulled his knees up to his chest, hugging his legs as he rested his head against Blue’s shoulder. Blue rubbed his back, starting to nod before shrugging instead. “Well, I don’t know for sure, but based on the way Red acts at home sometimes...” Blue sighed, looking annoyed. ”He hoards food under his bed, and he has the schedules for all the neighbors memorized. When one of them switches it up, he gets incredibly anxious and aggressive. It’s gotten a lot better over time, but he still has his bad days. I don’t think he’s ever completely comfortable or relaxed.” “Edge too.” Blue looked at him meaningfully, still rubbing his back in big circles, “I... sometimes I worry that it’s not that he’s adjusted and doing better. He’s just getting better at hiding it. But this is too depressing. This was supposed to be a fun and happy day, you know? So...”

Stretch looked around the room for inspiration, trying to think of a new topic. Nothing stood out much- ever since Red moved out, it was a pretty simple guest room. “Say,” he sat up, remembering snatches of an old conversation, “Didn’t you claim this arrangement with Red was only temporary? That he could stay with you until he found someplace else? It’s been like a year, bro. Housing market that bad?” Blue laughed, “Well! Since you moved out, I have an extra room I don’t use. It’s economically wise to continue rooming together. Red’s jokes are vulgar and he swears like a sailor but... it’s not too bad. And I don’t think he’s ready to tackle living in a completely different universe on his own. We are technically family now, after all, so I couldn’t send him off in good conscience. Not without knowing he’d be ok on his own, you know?” Stretch hummed pensively, “He certainly doesn’t seem to be eager to leave, either.” “I think…” Blue mused, “It’s because we’re fulfilling each other’s needs.” Stretch’s eyes became comically wide, shaking Blue, hard, “All of them?! Are you two-?? No way! Noooooo waaaay!! Opposites attract, eh?” He waggled his eyebrows suggestively despite not having any. Blue’s entire face flushed bright blue in mortification, shoving his brother away as he jumped up to his feet. He started pacing restlessly, “No! Ew! Not like that! NEVER like that! EVER! Gross, euggggh- I think I might actually be sick-“ “Wait, wait-“ Stretch scrambled for the trash can on the other side of the room, flopping on the bed and holding it out. “Use this! Edge has gotten really unpredictable morning sickness lately, so we’ve got one of these in every room now!” Blue took the trash can, shook out the few pieces of trash onto the floor, and promptly put it over Stretch’s head. His brother seemed surprised, but didn’t remove it. Stretch rested his chin on his fist, looking like a ridiculous pinup model. “You’re so dumb.” Blue still ended up laughing. “Sorry,” Stretch’s voice had an echo-like quality, “I shouldn’t have teased. I know it’s not like that…. right?” “We’re more like two empty-nesters who miss the chaos and bustle of before. I... it’s... very quiet without you, Papy,” Blue admitted quietly, looking at Stretch with a melancholy smile he knew he couldn’t see, “I never thought I’d say this, but I kind of miss your messes. It’s absolutely not the same with Red, but... It’s nice to have someone to look after again, as infuriating as he can be. It gives me something to do. “I’m really excited about Pancake! I can’t wait to teach them how to make their eyelights form different shapes! Uncle Blue will always be up for babysitting! I can’t wait to meet them!” Stretch took the bucket off of his head, but Blue’s smile was sunny and excited, “Oh, oh, but before that, you have to let me know when you two need some help around here! I know how Edge likes to keep house, and I know you aren’t going to do it, you lazybones! He’s managing fine now, but! We’ll see how long that lasts!” Stretch had a feeling there was more to this story, but he didn’t want to push too hard either. Before he could make up his mind, Blue stood up and dusted off his pants, gesturing towards the hallway. “Thank you, Papy! I feel a lot better. Nothing like a good talk with your super cool little brother to sort out these pesky feelings, eh?” “I wouldn’t know, I don’t have a little brother,” Stretch deadpanned, standing up and putting the trashcan back on the floor, “But I can confirm its 100% effective with magnificent big brothers too.” He winked. Blue shook his head fondly, “You goofball. Let’s get back to the kitchen and make sure everything and everyone is still in one piece. I need to apologize to Edge.” Stretch sighed, walking through the small pile of trash still on the floor as he followed his brother into the hallway. He kept a questioning gaze on Blue’s back, stopping just outside the doorway leading into the kitchen, saying quietly, “Edge too. He was- he needs to apologize too.” Blue stopped, looking over his shoulder quizzically, “It’s ok. He’s kind of dealing with a lot right now, and he just lashed out because he thought he was being attacked. I should have been clearer. He and Red have very strong personalities, too. I get it-“ “No,” Stretch took the lead now, putting a hand on Blue’s shoulder and guiding him into the kitchen. “They’re both assholes and they know it. Edge can’t keep doing this. Not to you.” He cleared his throat, calling out loudly, “Hey, Edge-“ Edge was sitting on the floor by the trashcan, head pillowed on his arms, while Red was at the kitchen sink... brushing his teeth? Stretch immediately sank to his knees next to his husband, lightly rubbing his back and murmuring encouragement. Blue walked over to Red, staring at the half empty bottle of mouthwash in consternation. “Usually vulgar language is punished with soap, not toothpaste,” Blue raised his browbones, “What did you say?!” “Nothin’!” Red spoke through a mouthful of toothpaste, spitting into the kitchen sink with a defensive shrug. “We arguin’ like we do, belch in his face, an’ he’s runnin’ fer the bathroom like it’s goddamn Gyftmas mornin’!” “Ew, gross!” Blue looked disgusted. “That’s enough to make anyone sick!” “Ain’t nothin’ new, been doin’ that since his bratty bone days- he’s immune! But then he’s handin’ me all this stuff sayin’ my breath’s makin’ him sick. Think he’s bein’ an ass ‘til he nearly upchucks on my shoes!” Red muttered something under his breath, downing the rest of the mouth wash and gargling loudly, wiping his mouth with a grimace. “A’ight, ya fuckin’ diva- that better?” For all the bravado and venom, he looked anxious, scowling at Edge and playing with the zipper on his coat. Red flinched when Blue put a gentle hand on his shoulder, glaring at him suspiciously. Blue spoke softly, as though to a frightened animal, “It’s probably all the mustard you’ve eaten. It’s pretty strong, and uh-“ Blue paused, trying to think of the most sensitive way of phrasing it, “Edge is...more...... um?” “Yeah!” Stretch smiled brightly, keeping one arm around Edge’s shoulders and looking at Blue gratefully, “Pancake’s suddenly taking up a huge part of your magic, so you body needs to adjust in a lot of ways to compensate- one of those ways appears to be a sensitivity to mustard! Seems like Pancake doesn’t like it very much.” Edge finally looked up, and despite an obvious pallor to his bones, grinned,  “Truly, my child.” Blue wasn’t sure it really worked that way, but if it made Edge feel better, then... Stretch helped Edge to his feet, guiding him over the closest chair. He was starting to look much better, and Red relaxed significantly. He kept his post by the sink warily, however, reluctant to get too close. Stretch seemed to feel sorry for Red, going over to lean against the counter with him. “Here, drink this- slowly, in sips,” Edge looked back, surprised, when Blue brought him a glass of water, accepting it with an unplaceable emotion. He ran his finger along the rim of the glass a few times, not looking up even when Red cleared his throat loudly. “Boss.” Edge shifted, pointedly looking away before turning to look Blue in the eye. “I’m... sorry.” Edge opened and shut his mouth as though he wanted to say something else. Blue waited patiently for him to continue, but Red started moving his hand impatiently, “Why? C’mon, use ‘em big boy words.” Edge scowled, crossing his arms and looking sullen. That was actually kind of cute. Blue hoped his poker face was more convincing than it felt. “It was... bad... to lash out,” Edge sounded awkward and unsure, looking to Stretch in an obvious plea for assistance. Stretch only smiled and made a little heart with his hands. “I... expected and was prepared to be berated and questioned,” Edge glared pointedly at Red, who just rolled his eyes. “I just didn’t think it’d come from you.” Edge sunk further into his chair in obvious embarrassment, but he didn’t look as put out as before. “Berated?” Blue sighed heavily. “Can we talk? Honestly?” The kitchen suddenly felt too quiet. Stretch and Red couldn’t seem to decide what to do, looking between themselves and everything else with palpable unease. Edge regarded him carefully, as though looking for an ulterior motive. Blue shifted impatiently, clearing his throat as he tried again, “Talk. You know, without all of this posturing?” “Only if you drop the niceties and fake politeness.” Blue wanted to be offended at the implication, but nodded, “I’ll do my best.” Edge tilted his head towards the opposite end of the table, waiting until Blue sat down. He put his hands out on the table, fingers splayed to make his lack of a weapon obvious, “Then so shall I.” Blue tried to get his thoughts in order, tenting his hands as he regarded the skeleton sitting across from him carefully. Edge stared back, expression neutral but clearly waiting for him to start. Well, no helping it- they’d have to meet each other halfway. Blue sighed, putting his palms on the table, facing up. “Ballsy,” Red sounded impressed. “Should we go?” Stretch rubbed at his neck, “We can watch soccer or something, right?” “Sure,” Red played with his zipper, “That the one ya kick or throw? Love sportsball shit. So fuckin’ sporty.” Blue saw Edge’s mouth quirk slightly before he smoothed his expression, still watching him calmly. “If you’d like,” Blue finally said when it was clear Edge wasn’t going to say anything, giving his brother a small smile, “We’ll call you if we need you.” “Ok,” Stretch put a hand on Blue’s skull affectionately, sharing a look with Edge before leaving. Red trailed after, sticking his tongue out, “Gentle-like, yeah?” Edge narrowed his eyes but said nothing, glowering at an unfortunate shaker of salt before neutralizing his expression and staring right back at Blue. “Do you hate me?!” Blue finally blurted out, leaning on the table, “Do you just not like me as a person? Is it related to Papy or-“ “I don’t hate you,” Edge cut in, “Overall, I don’t dislike you, either. However, you can be meddlesome, inadvertently encourage Stretch’s worse habits, and disingenuous-“ “Disingenuous?!” Blue tried very hard not to let any of that bother him- he had asked for honesty after all, “When have I ever lied to you?!” “From the moment Stretch first introduced me as his lover,” Edge kept his tone civil and calm, although there was an underlying frustration, “You have tried to act welcoming and be supportive of his unconventional choice, which I can understand and do appreciate, truly- but you don’t trust me. I don’t understand why you try to act like you do. I would consider that disingenuous, but perhaps here it’s just ‘polite.’” “It’s not that I don’t trust you, Edge! It’s just that Papy’s my little brother, and he has a tendency to think with his heart instead of his head. You can’t blame me for being a little overprotective. I just want to make sure-“ “I don’t know what you want from me,” Edge sounded weary, “You ask for honesty, but don’t listen to it. I did not want to alter this status quo- you did.” “Ok, ok,” Blue rubbed at his skull, willing away all his frustration, “I get what you’re saying- and you’re right. I guess I don’t really trust you-“ “Understandable,” Edge cut in quickly, “ I come from an environment where violence  is the culture, and I have an LV and EXP that testify to my capabilities. I could easily kill your brother,  either on purpose or on accident, and there isn’t anything you could do to stop me. You might not even know for several days, and I could be long gone by the time you discover-“ “If this is a bid to increase my trust in you,” Blue’s voice was hard, giving Edge a piercing look that he felt in his very soul. As though Blue could see all of his sins, an unpleasant shudder involuntarily ran down his spine. “It’s not working. Stop it. Now.” Edge slammed his fist down on the table, startling Blue enough to break his concentration and end the suffocating feeling, “I have always had the ability and capability to kill your brother. From the day I met him to this very moment, this has never changed. The only thing that has changed is your explicit awareness of the situation. You can’t know my intentions, but I would have assumed my actions have made them exceedingly clear.” Blue smiled a little sadly, looking at Edge as if seeing him in a new light, “I understand. I guess my actions have given you the wrong impression up to this point.” Edge sighed, “I wouldn’t be in this position,” He gestured at his stomach, then at Blue, “Or this one if I did not want to be in them. Intent is at the core of everything a monster does. Intent is a monster’s soul.” “I’m sorry. I never… realized. But I think your missing a key piece! Intent and actions are important, but so are justifications and explanations! ” Blue nodded in self-assurance, “You told me this because you want me to understand you better! You think the benefits outweigh the costs.” Edge shifted uncomfortably, “I... suppose.” “So where do we go from here?” Blue leaned back in his chair, looking at Edge inquisitively, “We both care about Papy in our own different ways, and it’s safe to say we both want what’s best for him and to see him happy.” Edge nodded, hesitantly, clearing his throat, “He... thinks very highly of you, so...” “You too!” Blue beamed at him, “I don’t think we should get along just for his sake, though- now that I think about it, we don’t really know each other very well, do we? It’s actually super embarrassing that I don’t know so many basic things about my own brother-in-law! So, let’s start over on the same page.” Blue hopped down from his chair, holding out his hand, “We know each other- my name is Sans, but you call me Blue! My favorite color is red, my favorite food is Mac and Cheese, and my favorite shape is the star!” Edge stared at the offered hand, shaking his head incredulously but taking it in a firm shake, “Edge. Red. Not pancakes. I don’t know.” “Ah, Papy’s gotten excited over Pancake and keeps making them, huh?” Blue snickered, giving Edge a sympathetic look, “He’s always had these food phases. He had a dinosaur oatmeal phase in high school where that was all he ate for like 3 solid months. I’m not sure how he can still stand the stuff, because that incident left me scarred and I didn’t even eat it!” Edge laughed, really laughed, and Blue realized it was the first time he heard that sound. It was really nice. “Um, hey,” Blue sighed, worrying his bandana, “I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings earlier. I was just…  really surprised. Completely blindsided.” Edge looked at him oddly, “If I held grudges against family, Red would be dust.” Family, huh? Blue brightened immediately, resting his chin on his hands, “I just had no idea! How long have you two been considering kids?” “Ah…” Edge looked away, drumming his fingers on the table almost nervously, “I have been upfront since our engagement about my... expectations for the future. Even so, Pancake- I mean, the baby was... unplanned.” Blue nodded encouragingly, “Unexpected, but certainly not unwelcome?” “On my end,” Edge hesitated, looking over Blue’s head at the doorway and the faint murmur of the tv coming from the living room. He leaned forward, asking very quietly, “Is this... something... he’s always wanted... too?” “Hmm,” Blue didn’t know Edge could look so insecure, eyeing the doorway as though Stretch and Red would barrel in at any moment. As much as he was wracking his brain, however, nothing stuck out to him. “Not that I can remember. Sorry.” Something in his soul clenched painfully as Edge leaned back in his chair, feigning indifference but unconsciously resting his hand on the imperceptible swell of magic. “I see. Well, no matter-“ “But!” Blue jumped up on the chair, leaning as far across the table he could to grasp Edge’s other hand resting on the table. Edge seemed startled, reflexively snatching his hand back and scooting his chair back hard enough to cause the table to shake. Blue managed to keep his balance, barely, and gave Edge a reassuring fist pump instead, continuing with vigor, “That doesn’t mean it’s not something he wants now! He didn’t talk about marriage when he was younger, and look at him now! Very happy! Plans change anyway! If there’s one thing I know about Papy, really well, it’s that he will let you know if he really, really doesn’t want to do something. Ask him to pick up his socks.” Edge grimaced. “Exactly! I think, at this point, you know him better than I do, anyway! So trust your heart- but more importantly, trust him!” “What do you...” Edge trailed off. “You’re jealous!” Edge sat up ramrod straight, sockets widening in realization. [Part 1]   [Here!]  [Part 3]