#this barbie regrets his life choices

[thyln4gf]

Darling, can I?

✞ Confusing feelings - youre both lost, stuck and thinking about each other after the hookup. But its not a one-night stand if it turns into two, right?

✞ Word count - 1898

✞ I have synesthesia! Heres 5 songs that i associate with this fic - "favorite" - Isabel LaRosa, "bad idea!" - Girl In Red, "attention" - Charlie Puth, "eat your young" - Hozier, "meddle about" - Chase Atlantic.

✞ Warnings - smut, mentions of alcohol.

✞ Lando Norris x reader

Whiskey, expensive cologne, and dizzying passion.

Thats what he reminded you of. The image of him was burned into your brain permanently. Whenever whiskey washed over your tongue, memories of him would flash before your eyes. The way he had his tongue deep down your throat, mercilessly fighting with yours. The subtle flavour of whiskey and the cologne he used numbed your senses, almost making you forget your own name. No one has brought you to the heights he has by simply kissing you. No one, ever. And all that happened only once - yet, you couldnt help but let your mind linger on the memory. You kept it close to your chest, like something sweet and sacred. But you thought that he didnt feel the same - and you spent hours thinking about it. He was a famous figure, after all. You probably were just another pretty looking doll to him, something he could play with once and throw away. But did you care? No, not really. You knew that you could easily get anyone else. If you wanted to, that is.

Initially, Lando thought the exact same thing. That you were a pretty thing that he particularly enjoyed playing around with for a night. But, after you, hooking up with women simply didnt feel the same. He kept thinking of you and your scent. The way you looked at him (that look in your eyes was enough to make any mans knees buckle), and the way you made him feel. He was starting to regret his actions, as he found his heart making even more space for you and the feelings for you that have been bubbling up to the surface.

Today was no different - he was staring up at the ceiling, contemplating his life choices. It was approximately 7am, and all he could think about was you. Even when the pretty looking miss barbie he had in his bed tried talking to him - he found himself getting distracted. You just had a way of drawing people in, and barely even noticing it.

And, before he knew it, he was up on his feet, getting ready to leave the house. He had already escorted the blondie out of the door, and that was his last straw - as soon as the distraction left his space... he *had* to go and see you. He wasnt so sure if you would accept him, though. He felt like an ass. He used you and threw you away like something disposable. And he was sure that it was an uncomfortable experience to spot him out and about - monaco wasnt that huge, after all.

"Fucking hell..." he muttered under his breath, as he was currently failing to button up his shirt - his hands were shaking more than ever. He knew that you had options, and that so did he. But he was almost desperate to hold you in his arms.

-------

You were having another slow morning - the weight of your responsibilities was slowly, but surely, weighing you down. You had pulled yet another all nighter - your body is currently powered by hopes, prayers, and a load of canned caffeine. You were surprised by how you were still pulling through.

You were currently walking around with a textbook in your hands, hoping that the walking part is going to trick your body into staying awake. And it was actually working, honestly - despite your legs feeling like pieces of stone. The house was pretty quiet, too. One of the things that made you cherish living alone - peace and quiet.

But thats until you heard your doorbell ring. You werent expecting anybody, it was a Tuesday morning... you put the book down onto the kitchen table, and start making your way towards the front door.

You had a horrible habit of opening the door without peeking through the little hole. And you should have, atleast this time - because none other than Norris himself has made his appearance. You werent expecting such a sight, and so early. You werent expecting him to squeeze himself right past you into your house, either.

"What the fu - hello?" You calmly call out to him, your voice laced with confusion. However, you dont question it much, and close the door behind you. Lando almost looks grateful as you do so - almost as if he was expecting for you to kick him out.

He looks into your eyes, just like that. You can see him briefly licking his lips, and one of his hands going to the back of his neck, rubbing it. He looks away and takes a deep breath, before he can even say anything else. He had 'im nervous and overwhelmed' written all over him, in capital letters. But what is it? Only the sight of him made your heartbeat accelerate a tiny bit.

"I wanted to - ohhh..." he tries to speak up, but he sees you stepping closer to him. Your movements made him freeze in his spot. His breath got caught in his throat. In all honesty... when he looked into your eyes, all he could think about was that one night you spent together, and his confusion about his feelings towards you amplified. Your movements were slow enough to almost feel agonising, making him want to snap and break his composure.

Neither of you say a word, nothing. All he could see was you, and all you could see was him. You could almost imagine how his hot breath would feel on your neck, and in... other places.

But, besides your own thoughts, him struggling to breathe, and the distant ticking of the clock somewhere in the house, nothing else could be heard. The clock almost felt like a ticking bomb, a countdown of seconds until one of you snapped. Both of you knew what was coming a long, long time ago. It was just a question of when.

The silly little staring contest continued. But Lando couldnt keep to himself for much longer - he almost lunges towards you, planting his lips on yours like he was a drowning man, desperately trying to come up for air. You cant even describe the noise that just left your throat, though it was definitely one of surprise. But you quickly found yourself kissing him back, your hands immediately burying themselves into his hair, his snaking around your waist.

You both start losing yourselves, and pretty fast. All the energy and the longing spilled out, sending a wave of electricity throughout your body. You spent the past couple of weeks trying to ignore those thoughts. That maybe, just maybe - you liked him. Each and every of your doubts melted with zero effort as soon as you felt him squeeze your body against his, his fingertips clinging onto your clothes, desperately.

You werent sure of the speed you wanted this to be. As if sensing your confusion, Lando slips his arms a little lower, them now being wrapped around your hips. He didnt want to waste any time, nor he liked to do that. Suddenly, the feeling of being carried takes over - Lando has picked you up, and is about to pin you against the wall with his body.

The intensity he kisses you with increases as your body makes contact with the wall. You can feel his every muscle, hear all the sounds he's making. Hell, you think that you can even hear his heartbeat. You can feel a bite or two he makes on your lips, but youre too far gone for your brain to register it properly.

His body presses against you even harder, the feeling making you moan. You hear him chuckle - he's rather happy that he gets to see the wild side of you - youre always so calm, so... collected. He liked to joke that you were a rock in your past life. His hands leave your hips, now roaming all over your body. He always liked to explore - and this wasnt an exception.

Eventually, his hands start slipping under your shirt. His fingertips are a little calloused and rough from all the training and racing, but his palms were soft. His fingertips were still a little chilly from the air outside, and his palms felt almost disgustingly warm. The contrast between the textures and temperatures makes you shiver with pleasure. You cant help but imagine what they would feel like if he put them down your pants.

If you didnt believe in being able to read someone elses mind before... You were about to. Because you suddenly felt one of his hands slip lower, and lower, and lower. From your chest, down to your stomach, and down to the waistband of your pants. But he doesnt go further, for now - he pulls away slightly, to look up at you, his eyes filled with anticipation. He clearly wanted to ask if you really wanted this, for your permission to go further. He just couldnt find the right words - a part of him was scared as well.

You didnt know what to say either. You always struggled with talking about your feelings, leaving alone... these. All you could manage was crash your lips back onto his, even harder than before. A surprise groan leaves Landos throat, a moan - yours. He understood your message well, or so he hoped. He didnt want to misunderstand anything, even worse - hurt you.

His hand does end up in your pants, starting to slowly rub in all the right places. And, right at that moment, you can feel your brain disconnect from your own body - its almost like you were suddenly working on autopilot. You were almost ashamed to admit, but you could already feel yourself getting close. Something about him felt nothing like you have ever felt before, in all the right ways - his touch overwhelmed and turned you on at the same time.

Lando could feel your back trying to arch, and hear your moans getting louder. He smirks to himself - that didnt take long, he thought. Even faster than he would usually finish in.

The orgasm reaches you just seconds after. The wave felt hot, melting your insides and your inner thighs, as you moan into his mouth. Oh yeah, right - you two never stopped kissing each other during all of this. You simply couldnt be bothered to leave each others embrace. Well, you were basically forced, still pinned against the wall - but you didnt have any complaints. You barely had it in you to kiss him back anymore.

And he could feel it. He felt it. He pulled his face away from yours just a little, making eye contact with you. His hand that was in your pants just now comes up to his face, starting to lick the fingers clean. All while never losing the eye contact. For the first time in awhile, the sight in front of you made you blush.

Seeing your reaction, he chuckled, again. You were adorable. He hesitates slightly before speaking up.

"Could I be your favourite, darling? Can i?" He asks you, in the most gentle tone you have ever heard. The thought of it only makes you smile like an idiot.

'Youll know when you find the one', they said. And you always thought of it as bullshit. But right now? You were proved wrong. You were staring into this mans eyes and you could see the world.

Your favourite.

[softly-sirius]

Will you watch the Barbie Movie with me? (fem!reader)

Currently on shift: Carmen, Richie, Sydney

I know, I'm so late, I'm sorry :(

Richie:

Richie Jerimovich is not going to the Barbie movie

No way

Absolutely no way

He cannot be seen standing in line for that movie, it would ruin his reputation

Until you look at him with that look

Until you tell him you were really, really, really looking forward to it

He folds very quickly

You and Eva watch the Barbie movies you grew up with in preparation

Richie really starts to regret his choice to come with you about two movies in 

Like what the fuck is a bibble and why is it so annoying

Starts to backtrack, but it's too late, he has already agreed. 

He gets in line, dreading the next two hours of his life

Comes out of the cinema wiping the tears from his eyes, because holy shit. 

Eva is holding one of his hands and you’re holding the other. 

You end up driving the car home and he sits in the back with Eva

When he’s tucking her up for bed that night he gives her a big smooch and promises to protect her from everything. 

He’s ready to fight sexism with his bare hands for his little girl

Holds you all night and tells you how much he loves you and that he’s an alan right? Right!?

You and Eva get matching bibble Croc charms and Richie gets a complex

You do buy Richie an ‘I am Kenenough hoodie for his birthday’ 

He goes on a tirade and says he hates it, but he wears it all the time at home

It's comfy god damn it

Carmen:

INNSISTS you buy your pink outfit with his card

Releates, because you are everything and he is just ken

Thinks, Holy shit, is this really that hard for you to be a woman

Fucks you so good and praises you so much when you get home

Maybe when you’re having a talk and he’s trying to explain how he feels, is embarrassed because he finds it the best way to explain it

He doesn’t understand how you can love him so much sometimes, because he feels like you’re so amazing and he’s just ken. 

You tell him you love him chef ken

When you buy him a chef ken for christmas he fucking looses it

Also, if you collect vintage barbies or are just all into barbie facts history he will listen to you talk about it for hours and would adore it if you showed him your collection. 

Sydney:

At first, she didn’t care at all that this movie was coming out until she found out how much you were looking forward to it

Then with Twitter and all the excitement I think she would really get into it

She would have some really cool thrifted pink outfits

I kind of feel like you would sneak in some pink cupcakes to eat at the cinema

Matching painted nails 

Probs becomes her comfort movie 

You and Sydney are always calling Carmen and Richie Ken, whether that's in front of them or when she's venting 

‘God Richie stop being such a Ken’

She is everything, you often think, watching her deal with all their bullshit. 

Would you love me if I was a worm?

Would you peel my orange?

[bleedingoptimism]

part one.

”I hope he sees it and it fucking breaks his heart.”

/tap/

“I hope he sees it and it fucking breaks his heart.”

/tap/

“I hope he sees it and it fucking breaks his heart.”

/tap/

Eddie has seen the video a hundred times already, and everytime he rewinds the last part and watches it again, and again, and again.

Not that he needs to watch it to hear the song all the time, it’s playing fucking everywhere. And some radios even left the part where Steve says he’s allowed to be a bitch about it.

Karma is the bitch. 

He was in the middle of a tour in Europe when the video went viral. He got a text from Chrissy saying ‘Don’t go on twitter’ then another one five minutes later that said ‘Sorry’.

He obviously went on twitter after that, ‘Barbie and the Kendolls’ was trending and so was ‘Who is Eddie?’ and ‘Marry Me Instead’

He called Chrissy after, they hadn’t talked in a while but she was the only one who still talked to him after he broke up with Steve, turns out she wasn’t really sorry for the song going viral, “I love you Eddie, but you kinda deserved it” she told him.

He knows he does, doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt, doesn’t mean he doesn’t want Steve back.

They had been so happy, they were so in love. Living together in a small duplex downtown, friends and band members always coming and going. Eddie was getting his big break in music and Steve was starting his experimental band with the girls.

Barbie and the Kendolls was actually a joke name Eddie came up with because Chrissy always called Steve ‘Kendoll’ and Steve called her ‘Barbie’. He didn’t really know how to feel about them keeping the name.

Actually, he kind of loved it, he’d always had a thing for Steve’s bitchiness.

He fucking missed him so much.

He’d screwed up big time.

Back then he’d thought he was stopping Steve from achieving his dreams by being with him. Steve always talked about marriage and life together and kids someday.

Eddie always talked about life on the road and his hate of white picket fences. 

It had never occurred to him that when Steve talked about marriage he meant marrying him.

Eddie had spent the last year of their relationship waiting for Steve to break up with him.

In the end he couldn’t take it anymore. He broke up with him first.

He had no idea Steve was going to propose.

Even after, when he'd talked to Robin and asked how Steve was doing, she never told him.

“How do you think he’s doing Eddie? You… shattered him. Don’t call here again, please.” That was the last time he’d heard from him and the last time he spoke with Robin too.

Chrissy kept in touch but she never talked about him, ‘don’t ask me, you don’t have the right’ she’d told him once.

He knew that, and Eddie had regretted the choice the second the words left his mouth, but he couldn’t take them back.

He had even tried to move on, but you can’t move on from perfect. There’s nothing else that’s worth it.

So Eddie never did stop asking about him.

After the song goes viral and the band starts getting more famous Chrissy confessed to him that Steve hates and loves the fact that’s the song that got them on the map.

The thing is, Eddie wants him back. Yes, he made a mistake. Yes, it’s been almost a year. But he still feels the same about Steve, he wants him, he wants to marry him, he just didn’t know he could have it all. It didn’t seem possible, to be so lucky, to have his music and have him.

And he got scared and did what he does best, he ran. 

But there’s another thing he’s good at.

And that’s writing songs.

He’s going to win him back. He’s going to mend his heart. And he’s going to do it the same way Steve tried to break his. With a song.

part three

[benevolentlibraryghost]

I wish this were a movie

Dear reader, welcome to my TED Talk on why this book is in many ways better than the movie. And also that I can understand why it wasn't turned into a movie. Warning: I will be discussing spoilers. You have been warned.

The story begins a few years after the events of Aliens, the second movie in the spectacular Alien™ franchise. Ripley, Newt, Corporal Hicks and a badly damaged Bisschop have escaped LV-426 on the ship the Sulaco. They are all in cryo-sleep, well, except for Bisschop of course. Because he is an android.

Something goes wrong with the ship's navigation system, and the ship enters UPP borders: Union of Progressive Peoples. Well, so much for being progressive; they are socialists/communists who refuse to upgrade their technology because of their strong hatred towards capitalism. When the Sulaco floats by, they enter the ship, looking for something to steal from the capitalists. They find a sleeping pod with half an android and an alien egg growing from its abdomen.

Yes. You read that right. In this book, Xenomorph DNA can mix with android DNA. Mind = blown.

Anyways; where there is an egg, there is an idiot human who is going to hang directly above it to inspect it. A facehugger attacks and clings to one of the communists. Who is called Boris. Irony. He is shot by his crewmates, who flee with the android. They take it back to their space station "Rodina", where they start extracting information from the androids database in order to grow their own Ovomorph.

Meanwhile, the Sulaco floats further into space, until it reaches Anchorpoint, a huge space station. A few marines and a scientist board the ship. They are attacked by drones (the young adult form of Aliens). Which left me wondering where the chestbursting took place, because the people in the cryotubes are still okay. Apparantly, the aliens are evolving. A fight takes place. Luckily, our characters in the cryotubes survive, though Ripley is in a coma.

Newt is sent back to earth, to try and live a normal life with her family. And get some therapy, maybe. Ripley is also sent somewhere safe. Hicks is left alone. He picks up a job and tries to process what happened back on LV-426. Bisschop is fixed with some cheap materials and sent to Anchorpoint. All is well.

Or so we thought...

Both Rodina and Anchorpoint manage to create Ovomorphs, though they are different from the ones we know from the first two movies. A bunch of capitalist pricks try to make sure that the process goes smoothly, while Hicks and Bisschop try to sabotage the mission. Though they don't succeed, the pricks regret their decision quickly when everything goes wrong. During a meeting, a capitalist Barbie starts convulsing. A hybrid Xenomorph emerges from beneath her skin. No chestbursting. She rips away her skin, and BOOM: alien. She was not impregnated by a facehugger, but infected in a different way.

Hicks is forced to go on another bug-hunt (yay.) with some other marines, who quickly die since they don't have as much experience with the aliens as our precious husba- HICKS does. Eventually, they decide to nuke the space station. They evacuate as much people as possible, but most die on the way to the lifeboats because a large group of aliens is following them.

In the end, Hicks survives with Bisschop and a very cute female scientist. I was under the impression that Hicks was in some sort of a relationship with Ripley, but I must have been mistaken since he forms a very close bond with the scientist. Anyway, the three are saved by the only surviving communist (everything went to shit at Rodina space station, too). Hicks wonders if he is ever going to get some peace. And Bisschop tells him that he is not. Happy end :)

I love the movies and the video game, Alien: Isolation. So when I saw this book in the book store, there was simply no choice for me but to buy it. And the other alien books that were underneath it...

The first few chapters had a heavy focus on the socialists and Anchorpoint racing each other to see who can use the Xenomorph as a weapon, first. In the end, neither succeeds, but this mirrored the Cold War in many ways. I thought that was a pretty cool aspect.

After a while, this focus shifts to Anchorpoint and we don't hear much from Rodina anymore. At first I thought this to be strange, but I didn't mind anymore when shit went down and there was so much action I couldn't put the book down. At some point we went back to Rodina and everyone was dead. It felt weird to not read about them for so long and then have their story end, but I think having updates on them would've made the book too boring.

I loved how the author took the time to let the characters reflect on what was happening. For example, in the final scene, where they fly away from the nuked station; normally, you hear some orchestra playing and you see tired characters wrapped in blankets, battered with bruises, half-sleeping and ready to go home. And as viewers, you would have to imagine what they were thinking, what this scene meant. I didn't have to do any of that with this book, because this final scene was an entire chapter of the characters reflecting on what had happened to them and what their future would look like. This reflection was a perfect ending to the book and left room for future books or movies.

Now, I will quickly reflect on my problem with the third movie. It is the fact they spent the entire movie Aliens saving Newt, even going so far as to enter the nest for her, but they kill her off-screen during the opening credits. WTjklfjdlfjd. Newt might not have a big role in this book, but her story was ended properly, with a little girl going home to her family, finally save from all the horror. Don't get me wrong, I do like the third movie. It's just that her death doesn't sit right with me and makes me annoyed every time I watch the movie.

Despite all the great points of this book, I have one major issue. The authors have tried to introduce so many new types of aliens: hybrid aliens, aliens bursting from your leg instead of your chest, multiple aliens bursting and aliens from lemurs (who would actually look very cute imo). There is nothing wrong with these types of aliens, it's just that so many are introduced in one story that it's hard to keep up. Especially when it is turned into a two-hour movie.

Well, to answer that one question; is the book better than the movie? Signs point to yes. It is hard to compare such different stories, but I am happy that both exist. I would have liked to see this book turned into a movie. It would treat us to a lot of action and badassery.

Rating: 4/5 Lemur Xenos

[thegreymoon]

The Story of Minglan

They are back in the capital!

And we can finally get back to the main plot! 🎉🎉🎈🎈🎊🎊

***

Oh, thank god.

Which means that Granny and Minglan were gone for at least nine months, maybe more? Also, how did nobody write to Granny to tell her? Minglan seemed to have no issues sending letters, considering that she was writing to her maternal aunt all along.

***

LOL, sneaky auntie Wei 😅

***

You should have done that in the first place.

***

LOL, I love Changbai 😂

Give him some good advice, Second Brother! He makes the worst life choices on his own 😔

***

LOL, I had forgotten all about her and her worthless son 🤣🤣

For a low-birth concubine's daughter, Minglan certainly has many respectable ladies very eager to make her their daughter-in-law 🤣🤣 Pity their sons aren't so great 🙄

***

LMAOOOO, THEN LET HIM STARVE!

Brat behaviour.

***

Smh. This poor girl.

I wish Princess Pingning and her imbecile son all the worst. Evil fucking people.

***

Jesus Christ, he is a moron 😡

I have more regard for my Barbies' well-being than he has for actual human lives. Fuck him with a rusty pike.

***

Her biggest regret in life is that she cannot fuck her son herself and must assert control over his sex life as much as possible by proxy.

Detestable characters.

***

Seriously, Minglan, I am as disappointed as your grandmother.

Your taste in men is atrocious.

***

ALSO, QI HENG IS NOT GOOD.

He and his creepy mother give me all kinds of ick.

Princess Pingning would probably drown her in a well the first week because she would not be able to handle sharing the attention of her precious son.

***

Oh, Granny, she is a stupid fifteen-year-old. No matter what you taught her, her brain is still mush, and hormonal at that.

I am so aroace, it isn't even funny. The idea of sacrificing anything for some man is just beyond alien to me and I just cannot sympathise with Minglan here at all. Just imagine marrying into that house! How does she think it will go?

***

Infinite stupidity.

I can't wait for all this to blow up in her face. She deserves it for this foolishness because she really should know better.

***

Idiotic decision, really.

***

Wait, who?

I can't keep track of all these emperors and potential emperors.

***

Is this one of those snooty women at the polo game?

Also, so many Imperial Consorts and no sons for the Emperor 🙄

[doublejango]

Blitz is extremely wary of alcoholics and drug addicts. The depth of trauma his dad caused him isn't something he can just get over with the snap of his fingers, but it did teach him to worry about those people, and to recognize problems when he sees them.

---[content about addiction and recovery under the cut]---

Blitz cares. He knows full-well that day drinking can be fine and many people can do it in moderation, but that for some, it absolutely isn't fine and isn't something they can control or moderate. For some people, the problem is insurmountable, and they need to get help. And yes, he's afraid of becoming addicted himself. He knows he could, all too easily. But his experience with an alcoholic father is a big part of why he was worried when he pointed out the way Stolas was drinking. He's doesn't want to lose him to alcohol.

Blitz had to fight to help get his sister to go to rehab for drug use, and did the same with Verosika, trying so damn hard to get her to ease up on the drinking, to get her to see that she needed help (and probably still does, at least in the show canon).

He regrets that he screwed Verosika over. I headcanon that he tried to get her to go to rehab and she wasn't interested, so he accepted that and tried to keep going with their relationship as long as he could... until he couldn't. Until she said she loved him, and he broke her heart and ended things in the absolute worst way he possibly could.

He couldn't let himself fall in love with an alcoholic. He wouldn't have survived it and he knows that--and Blitz wants to live.

With his sister, he paid for her rehab as long as he could, as much as he could and worked his ass off to make sure he had enough money to keep that going, to never have to ignore a bill from her facility. She hated him and didn't want anything from him, clearly, but he was her brother: taking care of her, as much as he could, felt like the least he could do, even if she hates him for it. She's alive. She's alive, and so it was worth it. It was all worth it.

Even if she blames him, he still cares. He still feels responsible for helping her. For making sure she is never abandoned.

Because that is one of the ways that addiction hurts the people in the addict's life: they feel responsible. They want to help and they can't. They love them deeply, but can't save them. And speaking as someone who has had painfully close experience with helping people get into rehab... the addict often never forgives them for it for a long, long time. Having an intervention is beautiful in theory, but often damages the relationship for years, until the person in recovery reaches a stage where they are ready to work on that. Where they understand that it wasn't them someone was rejecting, it was the drugs, the alcohol. The lies. The pain. The self-destruction.

Blitz knows this. So no matter how much Barbie Wire hates him now, he knows he can't really talk to her about their childhood yet. He can't have that relationship with her yet. He effectively does not have a sister, and never will, not until she chooses that role again. But, because he knows and understands, he will always be open to her coming back. He'll be happy about it when it happens--if if happens. He may not be able to verbalize his understanding, or be great about talking about his feelings in general, but that doesn't mean they aren't there.

Recovering addicts can sometimes be the most wonderful and inspirational people, but they can also be the most vindictive and cruel during recovery, especially if recovery wasn't their choice and they felt forced or shamed. It's a hard, ugly truth... and Blitz will still hold onto his love for them. He doesn't just stop loving someone, doesn't just stop caring, even if he seems like he does.

So, yes. He was worried about Stolas's drinking. And yes, he's worried about Verosika's. He can't be in a relationship with an alcoholic--for both their sakes. He knows he isn't a stable enough person, and at the same time, he can't bring himself to enable someone's addiction. Not if he loves them. Not if he has ever cared about them. It doesn't mean he doesn't understand the misery that can push someone to need to rely on substance abuse. It doesn't mean he doesn't get it. It means he wants better for them. He wants them to survive. He knows people hate when others have boundaries, addicts especially, and it can be fucking heartbreaking to enforce them... but he will, when it comes to substance abuse. It will break his heart, but he'll do it...

And he will never stop hoping for the people he loves to heal. To recover. To get better. Even if he is a shitty, broken person, he will hold onto hope for them, and try to help them get what help they'll accept.

[justbookscatsandtea]

I got the feeling that people hate the arc in the mortal world where Yan Dan pushes Tang Zhou away after regaining her memories. But I have to say that I actually really liked that part ... I mean it was heartbreaking and I was somewhat frustrated but I also feel like it was necessary and beneficial for them in the long run.

After first regaining her memories, she was understandably upset because Ying Yuan did everything in his power to make her hate him so that she may have a future. She doesn't know that and her feelings of betrayal are valid (I do not blame Ying Yuan for his actions either. He had an abundance of horrible and worse options and tried to make the best choices. It might have been better if he and Yan Dan communicated more but I feel he was the only one who really grasped the enormity of the situation - that there was no way Yan Dan would have survived if he so much as hinted at caring for her - the emperor was on his case already). Anyway she feels betrayed and doesn't want to be with a man who could never love her (as he made her think) and could definitely never choose her. So pushing him away was her wish to save herself from future heartbreak. It also gave her time to come to terms with her feelings and to find out what really happened back then (like with the butterfly of hate but actually love).

Then comes the iteration where Tang Zhou does the unthinkable: he decides to choose her over his sect, over his martial arts, over everything that held importance in his life. I think that it did help her heal and see that duty is not more important to him than love. (Funnily enough I have the Barbie and the Pauper quote stucknin my head because of this show: duty is doing the things your heart might well regret. It just fits them so beautifully because honestly the duty of the Sovereign Lord alnost broke them both)

But then comes the most important part for her I believe - what she did not even manage to do in the heavenly realm as isolated as she was from the world up there: she understood what Ying Yuan meant to the world. That all her friends, her family, the people she loved needed Tang Zhou to become the Sovereign Lord again. He can choose his duty over her because the sect will be FINE. Sure they needed some help establishing themselves but ultimately they did not need Tang Zhou to lead them. The stakes were pretty much non-existent. This is not true for the world where a conspiracy 11 000 years in the making has already seen ENTIRE REALMS DESTROYED. He IS the powerhouse of the heavenly realm, the only one who can make things right. That is also the compromise they make at the end after all. AFTER fulfilling his duty and saving the world, he will leave for the mortal realm and they can be together. When the world is save to live in once again. And she needed to get to the point where she sacrificed the second part of her heart not only for love. The first half was mainly out of her love for him. Sure she thought that the heavenly realm might need him but the reasons where far more personal. Now she also knows that he NEEDS to be up there and make things right. In the end he sacrificed himself for duty and love for he had already hurt her with the demonic powers he cannot control and she choses to share his destiny which enabled them later on to be reborn together.

Another minor point is that she basically turned the Uno reverse card on him: now she will push him away for his own good. I think a part of her doesn't want him to choose between the world and herself again because it is at the end a cruel choice that will tear him apart no matter what. And she loves him too much to do that hence the compromise later on.

[invisibleraven]

Holiday (bonus points if it's Halloween) / GPP

"Everyone ready?" Willie called from their room.

"Why are we doing a costume reveal again?" Carrie griped.

"Because it's fun!" Kayla exclaimed. "You remember fun right Care Bear?"

"I am plenty fun, thank you very much," was Carrie's reply.

"Yeah you are doll face!" Reggie shouted, and they could all hear the leer in his voice.

"Let's get on with it, I'm already regretting my life choices," Alex said.

Doors opened, and everyone emerged, and immediately, Willie laughed. "Yes, no one doubled this year!" At Kayla's confused expression, he explained. "Last year Luke and Reggie were both Han Solo."

"I was totally the beter Han," Luke grumbled, "But I let Reg have it."

"You made an equally cute cowboy," Julie assured him with a kiss to his cheek.

"Not as cute as Alex is this year!" Willie exclaimed.

"Excuse you, I am Ken," Alex replied, tilting his hat. "At your insistence, may I add."

"Well yeah, because you refused to be Alan," Willie replied, adjusting his red wig.

"I am so glad I decided to not go as Barbie," Carrie stated, though she had still stuck to her favourite colour palate in her Glinda the Good Witch costume, mirroring Kayla in her Elphaba get up; all green and black.

"You would have made a terrific Barbie," Flynn assured her, fixing her eyeliner in the mirror, her sparkly Cinderella dress leaving traces of glitter everywhere as she did.

"We ready for the party?" Julie asked, straightening her tight red dress and ensuring her horns were right.

"Ready as we'll ever be," Luke replied, blowing the blonde fringe out of his eyes. "Though next time I insist on going as Cobain, someone tell me to get a better wig."

"At least you look good with the facial hair," Reggie offered, picking at the fake little moustache he was sporting. "Cary Elwes should have words with the costume designer for this atrocity."

"Well you aren't allowed to grow a real one," Julie stated. "Not after last time."

There was a collective shudder. "You looked like a math teacher," Aex quipped.

"Yeah yeah, yuk it up," Reggie grumbled. "See if I share any of my discount candy tomorrow with you."

"I liked the goatee," Kayla stated.

"You can have the Tootsie pops then," Reggie replied.

"Sweet, those are my favourites anyways," Kayla replied.

"Ew, no one likes Tootsie pops," Carrie said, scrunching up her nose.

"I do."

"Your taste is questionable," Carrie argued back.

"I'm with you aren't I?"

Carrie hummed and pulled her in for a kiss. "You are, so for that I can forgive your awful taste in candy."

"Let's go lesbians," Flynn said, offering her arms to the girls. "And the rest of you queers as well."

"To the party!" everyone chorused.

"So... no to trick or treating at the fancy mansions along the way?" Reggie asked.

In the end, they may of hit up just a few houses. Hey, twas the season after all!

Plus, it meant full sized bars and gourmet chips, which no one was gonna turn down, not even Carrie.

[randomkposts]

How would an all-female take force be?

Umm wow! Either Death Note now takes place in Barbie- Land or L is getting a lot more shade for hiring only female officers for his task force. As regardless of how skilled they are, there's always going to be questions about the task force, and now there's going to be questions about if it really is the most skilled force for the job. 

Because unfortunately as a girl, people have this barrier of you first needing to prove you can do the job before they let you go do the job. Social progress has been made in the 20 years since Death Note was first written, but in Japan has different values then western, a big one being valuing the collective over the individual. 

For the collectivest to work, everyone has to value group cohesion and stick to the natural order of things over the individual needs the west favors. 

Anyone who is outside of that norm, is labeled troublesome, which leads to isolation and bullying, a problem which people of mixed heritage have enough of a problem with in Japan.  

So this many ladies becoming prominent figures in the police force and being born in the 1950'-70's is going to stand out. And they are probably a lot more cynical about their jobs, to say the least, and likely not as highly placed. 

If we are going for realism on this Soichiro is probably not Chief in this AU to say the least. And L is losing a lot of social credit for this decision, as this Kira case is not going anywhere fast to say the least. 

Here's a video from Lady Virgilla that talks (amongst other things) about Japanese culture and female leadership in the workforce (part 4 has statistics about females in the workforce)

At the same time, being on the task force is also a choice that all of them made in Canon, and I don't know if they would be willing to risk their jobs in the same way as females, given how much work it took them to get where they already are. The cost-sunk benefit would weigh a lot heavier here. 

I don't even know if all of them would want to stay on the task force if they were all female as I would imagine it would not do positive things to their jobs long term, particularly after the funding was discontinued, I imagine leaving would be a thing more of them took him up on. 

That said you guys are probably here for funner headcanons, and I plan to expand on this in the other Anon ask. May be yours, may not be, so stay tuned, and lets start.

So Mogi is kind of a Stoic, though he seems to get a kick out of messing with Yotsuba Kira.

E:-He probably regretting this after a week.

Mogi really is the best jk. 

K:-Hes also a good actor, and does a good job as Misas manager. 

E:-He needed a raise.

K:-What if we flip it for Female Mogi. 

Acts cheary and friendly around people she doesn't know, but get to know her and you find that she actually doesn't like talking all that much, preferring to spend her downtime quietly. 

Can fade in and out of a scene, stealing the spotlight and leaving like a ninja exiting stage right. 

Secretly likes quietly appearing behind people and startling them. 

I think Mrs. Ukita in this one is a little more cautious, which means Misa doesn't kill her as easily, having the investigation last longer.

E:-Not as hot headed. Still is reckless but instincts much higher.

Do Mello or Matt know how to cook?

I need to know how they even start off their business. Does Whammy prepare them for adult home ec life?

K:-I have no idea? I suppose that depends on what Whammies considers necessary orphan skills. Most in Japan don't, though that's more mostly there's more children than caretakers. 

I doubt L learned.

E:-"Cake is a nutrient. It has all the food groups necessary to function properly--"

"That's bullshit and you know it."

Lmao ok I have an idea. But also the idea of Matt and Mello having to do small gigs but influential enough to get their mafia gang appeals to me. 

K:-I don't know. I feel that Mello more got the job in part because A Kira had killed off the old boss and they needed someone less high profile. So they made a deal.

Honestly I don't even begin to pretend to have the background knowledge of crime to try to map out how Mello became a crime boss in 4-5 years, so I'm chalking it up to Kira, rule of cool, and Mello being good at psychology in spite of being impulsive as hell.

E:-Nah its fine. My brain wants to fill in the gaps. But also thinking about the fem versions of them. While I can see the same recklessness of a fem Mello, I can see some precautions she takes and more tough around the edges she has to be running a mafia group. 

Ohhh. MELLO AT HOT TOPIC!

K:- Eclipse, I think Mello would tell you true punks make it themselves not shop for it

E:-Very true. He has taste lets be real here

K:-I'm thinking about Honne and tatemae, and how the task force probably tried to take L out for work drinking so they could give honest opinions and show face with drinking as the reason for letting social barriers down to give him honest criticism, and L just said Nah, so they went and complained about L drunk. 

E:-Bwhwhahahha. Okay okay thats hilarious. Eyo flavor shots!!

I want them having fun for a bit since this is such a stressful case. 

K:-Maybe it would be fun, but actually it serves a social purpose l, such as maybe telling your boss that maybe his ideas are not working so well, or to tell people things you don't like about them, as expressing it publicly/at work would be a social faux pass, but expressing it "drunk" has an excuse, and as its a different setting you can all go back to work and put your "face" back on.

Well sort of. The article I read explains it better.

Emotional honesty. Terrible for the liver.

E:-True very true. Sometimes its an imbalance and most would rather have gone home than attend a mandatory drinking session. 

Hey new article popped up. Apparently Japanese citizens are having a lawsuit against Japanese police due to their racial profiling. 

So apparently due to the rise of foreign workers and those with obvious mixed race they do get stopped more and checked 'randomly'.

I still remember the podcast of Trash Tase about how when a officer came over checking their 'noise complaint' Conner and Joey didn't need to be checked too much when they answered the door.

But they mentioned Garnt as a Thai man and instantly the officer voice changed

Very little info but here is an article

Also I forgot until someone reminded me Light swallowed a piece of the death note paper he used. 

Or he played fucking mario kart with Ryuk.

K:- I forgot that too

E:-Light and video games give me a whiplash. Most time I feel like Light cane out of the womb with a sneer and a pocket protector. 

K:-He might have a god complex but he knows how to blend. Video games are blending. Besides, could you see Light having friends over and pulling out a deck of cards or something?

E:-I mean I can see him being decent at poker. Delinquents jk. 

K:-But gambling. From the top honors student *shocked gasp*

E:-Lmao top student my ass. He needs a bit of thrill once in a while. 

I mean surely making bombs doesn't come out of nowhere. 

K:- Who taught him that. I just want to talk. I need to ask. WHY! Why in the world would you teach Light Yagami how to make a bomb!

E:- Me thinking bruh he totally had some bad influence friends. I mean 'classmates"

I doubt his dad would let him see things. 

But Soichiro also seems to be the dad to go over safety things with his kids of what not to mix

You be surprised how many people die by mixing bleach and ammonia (spelled it wrong) together accidentally making homemade mustard gas. Or that tiktok trend of mixing cleaning supplies in a batch. 

And kids are curious. Light is smart enough on what chemicals can make a home made bomb. But I'm more concerned how he figured the trap. Or his lie about a diary.

That makes it even more suspicious Light. Makes me think u did illegal shit.

K:- Youtube wasn't exactly big those days. 

Seeing as how death note takes place in 2003. And youtube was 2005.

E:- Time travel jk. Then again chatrooms were a thing. 

K:- "hey all, how do I best trap my desk to keep people out of it. I need to know for reasons. Lol.

Aside from the Yagamis, Aizawa is probably the closest to Matsuda in the task force. 

Aizawa is kind of Sochiro's successor. In both Job and team dad energy, and I doubt that would change with gender.

In contrast to Sochiro whose family is used to her being away, Aizawa is in more conflict with her spouse then canon, and feels guilty about it. 

She's cooly polite to L, as L drives her absolutely nuts. And has a kind of tranquil furry building up towards her. An increasing air of "I'm done with your bullshit"

E:-Aizawa can be the voice of reason. And its amplified during times when the team needs to be grounded even if she doesn't like what L does. However Aizawa does show sympathy at times to L. 

Aizawa has that scary outburst when she has had enough and those types who are consistent about the details of why she's at this point. A strong duty of justice but also loyalty to Soichiro. 

K:-Do you think she should leave at the same point of when L pulls the money stunt. Or sooner, in part to be at least a better more present mother she feels her child needs her to be, while returning to a more scheduled time at the police force. 

Family means a lot to her, after all.

E:- really? Yes. Yes she would especially seeing she would still be the bread winner. 

Soichiro has just as much to stake one

K:-Yah, at one point Aizawa is having Martial troubles with his wife and comes in with a bruise. 

E:-However Light is with him. Sayu is almost an adult, and his household is a lot more solid as to Aizawa's newborn child and his wife. Where they have a less stable financial status in case he ever died. Or as L had said no longer funded.

Aizawa want to do good and to do justice. Regardless of their gender its something so Aizawa. But duty and family is what makes him head to the door but breakdown leaving his team behind. 

Oooh I forgot about that. Also Aizawa wanted to avenge his friends death too right.

K:- Yes. Though I think we averted or delayed that .

Wait doesn't he have a daughter too? Yumi?

E:-Wait what! Eyo i feel like we don't see much of their family. Did Matsuda have a dog or was I imagining that. I feel like fem Matsuda has a cat or some plants.

K:-I don't know if he would have time for a dog.But maybe he has an old dog he got from his friend. Can see a cat and some plants though. Does the cat get on with cat Misa?

E:-Matsuda does give rescue dog vibes. 

Ah yes the cat named Misa. Have made a cameo. I honestly thought of Matsuda genuinely contemplating getting a mask for her dog......in case Kira can kill dogs

"Why would Kira do that?"

"I dunno feels like they can."

K:- Bringing his cat to the office would mean he got to spend more time with said cat.And the plants would have a better watering schedule there too. 

In a nod to Australian Matsuda (KTPS4tv) i'm naming one of the pets Bikkie, (Biscuit)

E:-Hehehe. Matsuda moves her cat in and some plants in.

"Matsuda please remove your cat off of me."

"Awww thats sweet. She must really like you L."

"And I wanted to use the restroom for the past two hours."

Fem Matsuda gets a cat. She be lonely since she is single and has a very stressful job.

K:- name?

E:- Lets stay with Biscuit that sounds super cute.

K:-Does human Misa make an anti sugar comment?

E:-Lmao.  Probably hahaha

[mrsaltieri-real]

His Perfect Victim (Mickey Altieri x OC!Dahlia Levine)

Chapter Ten: Hello?

Words: 2.2k

Warnings: not a lot of warnings here, language, brief mentions of Dahlia’s trauma, therapy, making up, mentions of sex, mentions of angst, etc

A/N: More of a filler chapter than anything, but it’s still important. We’re making some serious progress and it’s a big push forward so don’t miss it! Next chapter is going to be heavier, smuttier and have some angst thrown in for good measure. You’re not going to want to miss it! Thank you once again to @bisexual-horror-fan for your help, beta reading and editing this for me. I appreciate your help more than I can put into words!

@lizey-thornberry as you want to be tagged.

Therapy sucks. Therapy sucks even more when it wasn’t even your choice to attend sessions to begin with.

Sitting in front of a stranger staring at me with faux concern was agitating to say the least, especially when she’s getting paid a hundred dollars an hour to do just that, stare at me until I break and confess all my deep dark secrets and let my trauma seep through the cracks left behind from Woodsboro. The only reason I attended in the first place was due to my parents and my doctors.

I’d spent the first few sessions sitting in silence, watching as the arms of the clock ticked and tocked until an hour went by, and I could go back to moping in peace.

I was getting better now, slowly. That wasn’t down to the therapist, the doctors or my family. It wasn’t down to Sidney or Randy. It wasn’t even really down to Mickey as much as at the time I believed that to be the case. No, I now know it was down to me, giving myself the opportunity to be raw and open with another human being, completely vulnerable in ways I never had before.

Life’s too short for regrets, so I don’t regret it at all.

The one thing I did regret, however, was how I’d left things with Randy.

I’d been seriously neglecting my friendship with him, and I knew reconciliations had to be made sooner rather than later. The issue was the two of us were both too stubborn to make the first move into forgiveness. Even as kids, when we fought, we simply wouldn’t talk to one another until one of us would throw a toy at the other and hit them across the head. But we were adults now, and I don’t think I’d get very far if I threw a Barbie doll at him anymore, as amusing the image in my head was.

“Dahlia Levine?” The sweet looking receptionist called my name with a warm smile, to which I half-heartedly returned as I forced myself to stand up, making my way down the familiar hall to my therapist's office, Dr. Lorraine Galloway.

The door was already open, but I still tapped my knuckles lightly on the wood twice, and she twisted around in her chair, nodding and smiling politely when she saw me, loosely gesturing toward the huge armchair across from her. I obeyed quietly, settling down on the comfortable cushion and folded my hands in my lap.

“How are you doing today, Miss Levine?” She asked, the notebook already settled onto her lap, simple, small, lined paper and one of those curled metal spines that binds the pages together, looking like a coiled phone cord. Her hand rests on the page, holding her dark blue and gold fountain pen, her position in her chair is relaxed, one leg folded over the other as she observed me, waiting for my response.

I shrugged, eyes trained on my hands as I responded, “Better, I guess? And please call me Dahlia.” I’d already had a fair number of sessions with her and asked to be referred to by my first name every single time, it was beginning to annoy me and that must have been evident in my tone, judging how I heard the light scribble of pen to paper, making me suppress the urge to roll my eyes. Was she seriously making a note of that?

“How’s college treating you, Dahlia? I haven’t seen you in a little over two months.”

Shrugging again, fingers itching to twist my ring, I replied, “Things have been good. I haven’t felt the need to bother coming in.”

I could feel her eyes fixed on me, and it was already pissing me off. Dr. Galloway wasn’t like my old therapist back in Woodsboro. She actively tried to engage with me, try and get me to speak and fucking feel, although she learned fairly quickly I was completely unwilling to discuss Stu. No amount of therapy will ever make me want to consciously relive any of that.

“Is there anything you’d like to discuss or share? You have the whole hour, remember?”

I hesitated for a second, teeth sinking into my bottom lip. Dr. Galloway seemed to grasp at the straws and quickly added, “I’m here to listen,” before lightly placing her notebook onto her desk, leaning back in her chair and pushing her glasses up her nose.

“I… Uh…” I shifted awkwardly in my seat, settling on playing with my ring to try to comfort myself, push myself into talking. “Could I talk about my friend, Randy?”

“You can talk about whatever and whoever you want to, Dahlia. These sessions are yours.” Her hands opened, as if inviting me to go on, to which I awkwardly did so.

With a small sigh, I began to tell her about the last few months. About Mickey and Randy, and how impossibly guilty I felt that I’d been neglecting my friendship with the latter, practically threw him aside for some guy I was dating. She listened intently, and it honestly felt good that someone was listening to what I had to say with no judgment, even if she was getting paid hundreds of dollars to do so.

“Has Mickey ever given you or any of your friends reason to think he’d hurt you?” Dr. Galloway asked once I’d told the tale. Hesitating again, I nodded my head once, and she rested her chin against her hand, eyes urging me to go on.

“Well, a few months ago, before we started dating, Mickey fucked-” I cringed slightly at the word choice before correcting myself, “-sorry, slept with this girl at a party. Tricked me into going into the bedroom, so I’d see it.” I physically flinched at the memory, seeing that girl's face twisted in pleasure and Mickey fucking her from behind, eyes fixed on my face with that sick smirk on his face.

I hadn’t thought about that in a while, suppressed it to the dark dusty corners in my mind along with my other painful memories I’d sooner forget all about.

“And did Randy know about that?”

“No, I never told him. But I think he had an idea because it was after that night he started having reservations about Mickey and I- I just don’t know what to do.” Fuck, is this why people went to therapy? I could feel so many suppressed emotions rushing to the surface so fast it was making my head spin.

“Maybe your friend has a reason to be concerned, then.” She suggested with a small shrug.

“He doesn’t.” I insisted firmly, halting the twisting of the ring and shaking my head, “Yeah, Mickey can be kind of a dick, but no one else sees the side of him that I do. How patient and gentle he can be.”

“Then maybe that’s something you need to talk about with Randy. Communication in friendships is important, and it’s clear that he’s important to you.”

Randy was important to me. I thought about it as I walked back to campus, shivering at the crisp air and silently cursing myself for forgetting to bring my jacket with me.

He was important to me, so was Mickey in a very different way. I thought about how much I missed Randy, discussing everything and anything with him until the day turned to night. How he was a huge part of the reason I was even able to recover, him staying at my bedside whilst I was in the hospital, doing everything he could to make me smile, the perfect friend.

Once on campus, I found myself making a beeline toward the one room I knew Randy would be in; the theatre. He enjoyed working on film projects there, so I wasn’t surprised to walk up the steps and see him perched on top of a prop wall, legs swinging and brows furrowed in concentration as he squinted into the lens of his camera.

“Hey, Rand.”

He jumped at the sound of my voice, camera nearly tumbling out of his hands as he looked at me, blue eyes wide. His face twisted to something akin to indifference as he eyed me up and down, lips pursed, before he mumbled, “Hey.”

I anxiously inched closer to him until I was leaning beside him, looking up at him seriously, “I’m sorry.”

His expression changed to shock as his head cocked to the side, and he exclaimed, “The fuck did you just say to me?”

The grin broke out across my face before I could even register it, playfully pushing Randy’s leg with a, “Shut up, dickhead.”

“Sorry, I just never thought I’d live to see the day Dahlia Levine apologizes to me.” His tone was only half teasing.

“It’s long overdue. I’m sorry, I’ve been a really shitty friend lately, Randy.” I said with a sigh, eyes dropping.

“Dahlia, it’s not you I blame, you know that.” His tone had an edge to it, and I instantly knew who he was in fact blaming.

I looked back up at him, practically pleading now as I spoke, “Randy, please, you don’t have anything to worry about. Mickey isn’t going to do anything.”

Randy rolled his eyes with a scoff, carefully placing the camera down beside him, “So you actually are dating him? For fuck's sake, D.”

I was getting mad, but I kept it inside, taking his free hand that wasn’t gripping the camera slightly harder than was probably necessary into mine and squeezing it gently.

“Even if it is a mistake, it’s my mistake to make. He makes me happy, Randy.”

Randy frowned, looking down at me with his brows knitted together, “He really makes you happy?”

“Yes, he really does.” I spoke honestly, maintaining eye contact with him all the while. Randy knew I didn’t lie, so he had no reason to suspect otherwise. He simply sighed, placing the camera in his other hand down beside him before moving it to place over the top of mine and nodded his head, saying softly, “Fine. For God’s sake, I still think he’s a fucking dick, but if anyone deserves happiness, it’s you.”

“So we’re friends again?” I asked hopefully, biting my lip as I awaited his response.

He rolled his eyes at me again, this time affectionately and released my hands, jumping down from the wall and pulling me into a tight hug. I closed my eyes, my arms wrapping around his waist as I hugged him back and his chin rested on the top of my head, the feeling comforting and familiar.

“Of course we are.” He said. I could tell he was smiling, but I know it didn’t quite reach his eyes in the way it should have, but at that moment, I was too happy to have my friend back to take much notice.

If only I’d noticed. If only I’d listened and was more critical.

After that, things were better, at least for a while. Mickey and I were growing closer with every passing day, listening to music in his dorm and just chatting mindlessly about anything and everything. He showed me some bands I’d never heard of when the movies got a little too much. I could tell his built-up wall was gradually beginning to crumble, allowing me to really get to know him, or the part of him he wanted me to know, but he was still always just a little distant. Not as much as before our night together, but a hint of detachment still lingered in the air.

Something was happening. I knew that was the case, something about it just spells it out, you know, like when a storm is coming in the summer? The lack of sound and the feeling in the air tattles on what is to come, announcing it long before a single flash of lightening or clap of thunder does.

One night, Mickey had already fallen asleep, but I simply couldn’t, so I just laid flat on my back, staring unseeing at the dully illuminated ceiling from the streetlights outside, when my phone began to buzz quietly on Mickey’s bedside table.

I glanced at his alarm clock, the bright letters stating it was three thirty in the morning.

Who the fuck would be calling me at this time.

I still felt uneasy about receiving phone calls and everybody in my life already knew that, but the anxiety that it could be an emergency got the better of my, so I flicked the phone open, taking in the unknown caller printed across the screen for a second before answering it, pressing the phone tentatively to my ear with a whispered, “Hello?”

No response.

I swallowed thickly, trying to get rid of the lump forming in my throat before asking again, a little louder, “Hello?”

Nothing.

Mickey stirred next to me, rolling onto his side and groggily opening his eyes, lifting his hand to rub them gently.

I sat up, hand shaking as I repeatedly whispered “Hello?” into the speaker.

“Whose that?” Mickey's voice was thick with sleep and the minute the words were out of his mouth, the line went dead.

Read Chapter Eleven HERE

[kosmicpowers]

Hi, Hey there!

I've had this blog up for a few weeks so I figured I'd introduce myself. Not gonna reveal my actual name for security reasons but just call me Kosmic.

I currently live in the USA (Unfortunately). I'm genderfluid and really don't care what pronouns I am referred to with as long as they're not it/it's. I'm also an aspiring writer but for now I mostly just write fanfiction. Mostly Saint Seiya related obviously though I've been working on other stuff.

You can find my AO3 account here:

I've also been working on art but I'm still a beginner.

I try to be a nice person. (Though I'm not sure if I'm good at it because I can't stop swearing.) I don't accept racism, ableism, bullying, kin exclusionists or gatekeeping, misogyny, homophobia or anything anti-lgbt...

Yeah, Just don't be a dick. It's not hard.

Also don't be a sicko, no pedophila or zoophilia.

Some other stuff about me in case you care:

I'm a minor, don't be a creep.

I have ADHD, tend to hyperfixate on weird stuff. Then again a lot of people on this website do. Just saying I'm not one to judge people when I think about my interests.

I'm agnostic but I'm not going to crap on anyone for having a religion, as long as you're not a Jehovah's Witness. Screw those abusive idiots.

My hobbies are reading, writing, drawing, playing retro games, creating OCs, watching documentaries, and staying up at three AM regretting all of my life's choices

My favorite shows are: Saint Seiya (1986), Saint Seiya: The Lost Canvas, Ronin Warriors, Ranma 1/2, My Little Pony Friendship is Magic, Astro Boy, Jetter Mars, Sonic Prime, Sonic X, Beastars, Thundercats (both 1986 and 2011), Futurama, Kimba the White Lion, Cowboy Bebop, To Kai Watch, Captain Scarlet, Black Jack, Samurai Jack, Ampanman, The Amazing World of Gumball, Don't Hug Me I'm Scared, Danger Mouse, Kamen Rider, Super Sentai (AKA Power Rangers)

My favorite movies: the Guardians of the Galaxy trilogy, AKIRA, the Barbie movie (don't judge), Godzilla, Plague Dogs, Spirited Away, My Neighbor Totoro, Saint Seiya: Legend of the Crimson Youth, Chirin's Bell, The amazing Spider-Man, Toy Story 3, The Iron Giant, Into the Spiderverse, also as of now gotta add the FNAF movie

Favorite video games: Sonic the Hedgehog series, Phantasy Star 4, Columns, Panel De Pon, Mega Man, PulseMan, Mario Kart 8, Pokemon: Legends Arceus, Animal Crossing, Earthbound, Poyo Poyo/Mean Bean Machine, Sin and Punishment, Harvest Moon, Star Fox

Favorite Bands/Musical Artists: Jack Stauber, Daft Punk, Lemon Demon, Caravan Palace, Tally Hall, Miura Ayme, Rammstein, The Living Tombstone, Rare Americans, Nirvana, Rammstein, Witchfinder General, Gorillaz

Favorite books: The Golden Compass, The Most Dangerous Game, Magnus Chase, Heros of Olympus (or basically anything by Rick Riordan), Death Note, Beastars (manga), Inuyasha, The Lovely Bones (I fucking cried so hard), MAUS (Made me cry harder), City of Ember, Journey to the West, Most classic creepypastas mainly "Abandoned by Disney" (YES. I know they're not books), Cells at Work, AKIRA (Manga)

So... Um... Yeah.

I like to talk with people about my interests so don't be afraid to give me a message. (As long as it doesn't promise "hot singles" in my area, I'm not that stupid.)

Updates:

I have a discord under the name robotic carnival and a side blog Tezuka Brainrot.

I am fictokin of: Cobalt from Astro Boy mainly.

Partially:

Mars from Jetter Mars.

Jibanyan from Yo Kai Watch

Rika from Phantasy Star.

Akane Tendo and Ryoga Hibbikki from Ranma 1/2

Cygnus Hyoga, Pegasus Seiya, and Aquarius Camus from Saint Seiya.

And the flag on my profile picture is ADHD flag.

Cringe and proud. ♥️

My husbandos are Doctor Yamanoue and Doctor Kawashimo from Jetter Mars, Phoenix Ikki from Saint Seiya, James/Kojiro from Pokemon, and Rune from Phantasy Star.

I can't beat Zio PLZ someone tell me how.

I am pro Palestine and I will accept no support of genocide.

I am neutral on the Joe Hawley situation as he has done terrible things yet does not deserve to be hacked or harassed.

Also ship discourse and fanfiction censorship discourse is dumb I don't care anymore. And regret my past actions. Don't harass over stuff you don't like but also tag your shit. You can't complain about people judging you if you are irresponsible about keeping it where it belongs.

[mateos-surgery]

JIGSAW IS LIKE BARBIE & WONKA (2023) ;

shut up SAW X and WONKA were my main fixations of 2023 + BARBIE made me proud>:(

now let me say something,

I'm listening to What Was I Made For and tearing up from it lmao

John Kramer AKA Jigsaw is exactly like Barbie and Willy Wonka

for? the same reasons yet different.

*cue Billy the Puppet laugh*

JIGSAW IS HUMAN TOO ;

John Kramer has gone through so much, like his Wife Jill having the miscarriage, him being diagnosed with cancer and he has tried to end his life, he probably wondered what the fuck was he made for?

he was made to make people appreciate their life, in the most twisted way possible.

literally he has an inspirational quote saying:"those who do not appreciate life, do not deserve life." -Jigsaw

in SAW X Ceceila, Valentina, Mateo, Gabriela and Diego all scam John of his money, making him believe that you cured him, but you didn't and everyone should know NOT to fuck with JIGSAW.

the scene where he finds out he was scammed is one of my favorite scenes of SAW X because we get to see John is such distress, panicking and then grabbing the tequila bottle and throwing it out of anger and betrayal, the glass shattering to pieces on the ground, I cried for John, he was right for putting those scammers in the traps, Ceceila deserved worse though.

JIGSAW IS GREAT AS A VILLIAN BUT NOT, SAW X PROVES IT ;

people are always judging John Kramer wondering WHY he's doing what he does, HOW he does it, that he's a sick and vile man to even THINK about doing those horrific traps, listen I understand that to SOME degree but have we ever thought how Jigsaw is doing? if I were him and I got scammed I'd definitely do the same thing, considering scams happen all the time in real life and it's horrible.

in SAW X we see John peering down at Diego waiting for him to start up his game, he looks at him as if he's judging him which by the looks of it he probably is, here, there's certain lyrics I want you guys to hear, it's from a song about the JIGSAW 2017 trailer by Daddyphatsnaps,

"don't think you have a choice, you have entered my game,

for what you've done now you must understand,

I'll be watching from above laughing as you try, to escape from your own twisted head." -it was the chorus but it was still great

doesn't that sound EXACTLY like Jigsaw to you guys? in all the movies you can see or think that he "watches from above" silently laughing as all those people try to escape from their own twisted heads, SAW X perfectly captures what I'm talking about with Diego and with the other scammers as well! him and Amanda are literally watching them from above from the window and the TV monitors.

[this whole post is so disorganized but oh well]

I cannot wait for SAW 11, also the producers regret killing off John Kramer early, as they should though >:[

Jigsaw has so much potential. we love him.

that is all for this post <3

[citrustan]

Anon is right! Oc was focused on being a good mother so she couldn’t go out and have flings but Yoongi did have all of those flings and lived his life, and if Oc were to do that I bet it would be looked down upon by him and their friends like “Why are you seeing these men, you should focus on Nao” etc., wow I feel so bad for her. I really hope Yoongi see’s another man valuing Oc because what a coward. Couldn’t even be honest with her. & I have a feeling Taehyung is a big mouth and meddled on accident. Lmao, they can stay with their plastic Barbie Hyejin, dusty attracts dusty 🤗

hmm i see okay 🤔

yk maybe that's a choice oc made on her own accord? that it's not that she couldn't, she just wouldn't do that stuff?

regardless i too hope yoongi regrets his decisions

[fifteenleads]

Alliance in Pink

Based on the FF16 German VAs' Barbie skit.

-

Clive knew he had much better things to do than this.

No, really, he did. It’s just that his brother rarely told him anything about himself these days that Clive had to take it upon himself to find out if he should have anything to worry about. Because the last time Joshua came home to visit, he brought a girlfriend.  

Or at least, that’s what their mother assumed. Wouldn’t let the poor boy get a word in as she lectured him endlessly about not whiling away his college days because life was already hard enough as it was, and his transcript needed to be perfect if he wanted to land a lucrative career. Never mind that her older son already failed her on that aspect—not that she ever had any high expectations of Clive to begin with, but Joshua was different.

Jote was just a friend, Joshua had insisted. Someone he had shared some classes at college with. Nothing more than that. The insistent way he had made his point, however, made Clive all the more suspicious.

Which led to today—Joshua and his “friend” going out early to catch an afternoon movie, and Clive discreetly tailing them. Well, as discreetly as he could, of course, because his figure didn’t exactly scream discreet, what with his imposing figure and his “prominent pecs,” as Gav called them. He even shaved and bought a new polo shirt for the occasion.

Even Jill thought this was a bad idea, and she was usually supportive of him and his dumb antics. Well, too late for that now.

Clive hid behind one of the electronic displays as he watched Joshua and Jote buy their tickets, following the two with his gaze until they entered their designated theater. “Cinema 1,” he took note as he came out of hiding and lined up at the counter. All he had to do now was get a seat with a good vantage point of the two, and his job was (mostly) done. Joshua said he’d be home by five, after all, which would be around the time the movie ended.

He finally reached the front of the ticket booth. “Let’s see, Cinema 1… Miss, I’d like one ticket to whatever’s playing there, please.”

The girl took one look at him and continued chewing her gum. “You sure, Mister? Wouldn’t expect a hunk like you to watch Barbee, but okay.”

“Barbee?! Wait, I didn’t—”

“Are you buying or not? I don’t got all day, Mister.”

“I—” If this was Clive’s punishment for committing the sin of stalking his own brother (for pure purposes, he swore), then he… had no choice but to accept it willingly. He was already too far in the game to back out, after all. A small part of him wished he had listened to Jill, but there’s no point in regretting that anymore.

But the more important mission of finding out about Joshua and Jote was way more important than his silly pride! Clive’s conscience couldn’t let him watch his brother fall from grace before their mother. (He was overreacting, of course.) A certain manga he had read had the older brother main character do all sorts of shady things just to protect his twin sister, and he was called a siscon for it. Hell if he didn’t understand how that felt now.

To hell with it. Swallow his pride it is, then. “Yes. One ticket to—”

“—Barbee, please. And make that two.”

Clive yelped at the unexpected interruption, instantly turning to the source of the voice. Dion Lesage nodded at him amusedly, then smoothly handed over his card to the ticket girl, who immediately swooned as she swiped it and printed their tickets. “T-Thank you, sirs. Enjoy your show.”

He was still dumbstruck when Dion gently pulled him along away from the booth. What in the Founder’s name was Joshua’s other friend doing here? (He’d also denied any romantic attraction towards Dion exactly the way he did towards Jote now, so maybe Clive was right to be suspicious, after all.) “I’ve been watching the three of you since half an hour ago, and I must say your tailing skills still leave a lot to be desired,” Dion remarked dryly, handing Clive a pair of thick glasses. “Non-prescription. They’re Terence’s. Don’t break them.”

Clive looked around him, and spied Dion’s boyfriend seated on one of the benches. He looked up from whatever he was reading and waved. Clive sighed. “So I was too conspicuous, huh.”

“Very much so, I’m afraid. Now let’s get popcorn before they close the doors on us. You also owe me dinner after this.”

“I didn’t ask—” Clive started, but was silenced at once by Dion’s withering glare. “Fine. Two buckets of salted caramel popcorn, plus dinner. Sound good?”

“Yes,” Dion finally smirked, satisfied with his win. “In exchange, I’ll teach you how to tail people without getting spotted. You’ll be getting your money’s worth, I assure you.”

“Okay, okay, I get it.” Clive huffed to himself, shaking his head at the unexpected turn of events. Perhaps this was for the best, though. This… alliance, if he could call it that, certainly had its merits, and he felt he was going to come out of it a better man. Probably, if Jill and Gav didn’t find out about today, of course.

[lovemesomesurveys]

Have you ever been hurt by a narcissist? Yes. I found out I had been used and played by him the whole time. He used his charm and complete BS to get me interested even though he wasn’t that interested in me. He figured I’d be easy to manipulate and I’d be there for his convenience until he decided he was done. Despite me expressing how I felt, including the hurt, which took a shit ton for me to do, it was clear he didn’t really care. He didn’t get it. He didn’t understand what the big deal was. All he thought about was himself and didn’t consider who he was hurting in the process. 

What does forgiveness mean to you? This reminds me of that movie, “Just Friends”, where Anna Farris’ character is a singer and has a song that goes, “forgiveness is more than saying sorry”, and yeah I agree. But as far as me doing the act of forgiving, I tend to forgive and give out many chances. I never forget, though.  

Have you forgiven everyone who's wronged you? No.

What's your favorite thing to do at sunrise? I’m generally asleep. 

How are you celebrating Earth Day this year? I don’t do anything on Earth Day.

What is God teaching you right now? I know He’s been using these past several years, especially this past year, to teach me a lot. I have many things to work on and things I needed my eyes open to. I think He’s also been building our relationship. I admittedly have been distant and fallen off track, but I really want to get back. 

What does Notre Dame Cathedral mean to you, and how has its fire affected you? I don’t have a connection to it. 

Are you prophetic? No.

What is something you miss from your past? So many things. My childhood, especially. 

Are you beating yourself up about a stupid decision you made? Oh hunny, only all the time.  

What's the last dumb decision you made that you beat yourself up over? Ugh, but there’s so many. Definitely the stupid decisions I made and the decisions I never made at all and just ignored instead. 

What's your favorite version of the Bible to read? If applicable, do you underline verses in your Bible? The NIV.

When was the last time you went to church? I haven’t physically been to one since 2016. I had been attending the livestreams, thought, for awhile. I slacked off this past year and I’m actually really upset about it it’s something I need to change soon.

Do you surrender to Christ every morning? I need to start my mornings talking to Jesus. 

What's the last song you listened to on repeat? The new Barbie song with Nicki Minaj. 

Have you ever smoked weed, and if yes, did you like it? Yeah and yes. I stopped doing any of that stuff back In 2013 and only got back into it a few months ago. I wanted to try it and see if it’d help the health related issues I have, especially anxiety. I will say my method of choice is the tablets. 

Do you have any big regrets in your past? I have many big regrets. 

If you've ever talked to a counselor, did it help? Mehhh, a little but honestly not much. I really didn’t feel I gained much from it. Granted, that was my first counselor and I know it can take multiple times to find the right fit for you. Perhaps I should look again. Does your town's hospital have a good reputation? Yeah.

What is your hometown known for? Nothing good. My city is shit.

What is your hometown's symbol? --

Who do you miss from your past? I miss several people from my past.

Are you longing for and missing a toxic person? Not anymore.

What's your greatest longing? Ugh, to get better and be able to get out of this damn bed and actually go somewhere. I need a vacationnnnn.

Have you ever read a Bible verse and thought, "this isn't true"? If so, what do you do when that happens? No.

What are you behind on? Life.

Is there someone who's stolen from you and never got caught? I don’t think so.

Do you wish you could talk about spiritual things with someone? No.

When was the last time you had a deep conversation with someone? My mom and I have a lot of those.

How long has it been since you weren't lonely? I’m not physically lonely too much, it’s more so emotionally I guess. Just being stuck in my own damn head all the time.

Have you been lonely for most of your life? I’ve definitely felt that way.

What color is your sleeping bag? I don’t have a sleeping bag.

When was the last time you used a sleeping bag, and what for? I used one we used to have one winter when it was shockingly super duper cold. It was wild and I loved it.

Do you prefer to sleep under the stars or in a tent? I prefer to sleep inside on my bed.

Do you live near the woods? No.

What do you want to be for Halloween this year? List 1-3 ideas. I don’t dress up for Halloween anymore. I stopped doing that years ago.

List five things people have been jealous of you for. Uh, nothing???

List five things you have felt jealous of other people for. I mean, I feel envy for those who appear to be happy and in decent health and are able to take fun trips all the time and have a fun social life. I don’t have any of that and yeah, it’d definitely be nice. 

Do you start to feel jealous of someone after they've hurt you? I don’t think so.

Does your astrological sign match up to your personality? No. I’m so opposite of a Leo.

Which bugs do you hate the most? ALL BUGS.

What is your favorite shade of brown? Coffee brown.

Do people tell you you look sick when you wear a certain color? If yes, what color? No, just based on my overall appearance in general. 

Do you find yourself exhausted much of the time? All of the time.

Do you find that people call you lazy, even though you're always exhausted? I call myself lazy even though I know I have things getting in the way and making it much harder to do things and I don’t have the energy or motivation to do them.

What color is your toilet seat? White

Would you rather live in an apartment or a house? A house.

What's one thing you had growing up that you miss now? I miss being a kid and just playing Barbies for hours and hours, no cares in the world. 

List three ways in which you are a hippie. I’m not.

Do you prefer kale, lettuce, or spinach? Spinach.

[erlinaaodhan-bytheladyqueen]

Birthday Mischief (a present from the Morrigan)

My birthday got off to a rocky start.

I woke up angry because I started my monthly cycle and ruined some clothing in the night, and also a dream I can't for the life of me remember. But that was quickly remedied by mom and my brother making me pretend to go back to sleep to throw balloons into my room (organized by my fiancé the day prior). It did wonders to cheer me up.

And then it got rocky again when I had a conversation with my mother about transgender people. It wasn't...unproductive, just straining. Some things were said in regards to my bastard father as well, whom we won't discuss at this time.

Then my fiancé and a couple of friends took me to the Barbie movie and the mall to hang out. It was a blast, to say the least. Me and him were decked out in skirts and matching Barbie shirts, while our two children (same two friends mentioned prior, long story) simply were there. It was kinda funny seeing us together. I took more of the goth approach and he was in all pink, and the two kids were just wearing t-shirts.

Afterwards, we went back to my place and had dinner, went back to my room, note: this is where it gets interesting.

It started with a conversation with myself. And no, not like that. I was talking about my current state of mind and how grateful I am for these three people in my life. How my bastard father has been affecting the house, how my mother doesn't understand me or my brother's identities.

And they were silent, which I respect and admire. Every word was allowed to settle. Every shaky breath deliberate, lest any of us forget how to breathe. Every tear was an explanation point as if to say "I am here, and I am alive. And that is what's important."

We hugged for a while after. It was very nice, I think we needed it.

Then I mentioned doing some readings (side note, that was what started the previous conversation. I started talking about my relationship with Apollo and Aphrodite, and how it's changed and I won't be devoted to them moving forward, which started the tears).

The Morrigan was the obvious choice. I will say I do not regret what transpired, I simply wish we all had more warning.

It started with my friend who I will refer to as "K". I told them to think of a question, phrase, idea or emotion to be answered (this is a more recent approach for me when doing readings for others, as it helps them hone what they need to think while shuffling), and several fell out as they shuffled the cards awkwardly in their hands. K has been interested in paganism and divination recently, so I show them a few techniques before moving forward for reference. The Morrigan decided on a 9 (nine) card reading, of course, and I knew we were in for a night. She doesn't usually do that unless she Needs to Speak with You. I give the reading, explaining some points and include how I interpret the cards as slightly different because of the positioning and all that, things I'm sure you're familiar with. This time I write key points on a sticky note, including the positions of the cards for them to keep, and circle the key point of the overall reading. It went pretty smooth all things considered.

{It is worth mentioning at this point that I started an offering of rose incense right before the readings. This will be important.}

Our other friend, "A", volun-told my fiancé and I started to say now she has to go, but he surprisingly agreed. He said he has a question and I kinda reassure him so he doesn't feel awkward about it (religious trauma is like that).

I tell him the same thing, to focus on his question/thought/emotion/thing he needs answered as he's shuffling the cards. At first one falls out, and then they stop...falling. And it hits me. She wants him to work for it. But instead of telling him this and potentially scarring him, I tell him She wants him to pull the cards for himself. He does and he only draws 6 (six). I've never gotten 6 (six) cards with Her before, so I'm more than a little confused at this point but don't let it get to me.

I do the reading, and at first I feel as though she's omitted his past but that turns to be untrue, logically (to me at least).

It's his future.

His past is his most important aspect to himself. His present, he needs to work towards achieving. And his future is up to him. And that was his question. His first one, at least.

He had asked two questions while shuffling. And An Morrigu was about to make that my problem.

While I do readings, it's important to tell you I try to...not channel per se, but detach enough of myself that the divine can get through to the person I'm doing the reading for, whether myself or another. I've never channeled before. I briefly mentioned it to the Great Queen in passing, but I wasn't exactly ready yet.

I think what happened was mostly my fault, but the Morrigan I think is willing to accept at least some of the fault. I haven't set basically any boundaries when it comes to this yet (didn't have the opportunity to). Which is kind of on me, because I had previously, like not a day of two prior, talked about doing this kind of work. But I do wish She had given some warning.

I involuntarily channeled last night.

The first reading with my fiancé was relatively well received. He was smiling to himself, which could've been really any kind of slew of emotion.

The next bits are a bit hazy, as I wasn't exactly present and also I'm not supposed to know the results (as I type this I have Deja Reve, previously mentioned in my intro post, just a thought that fills me with joy).

I do remember saying this as I picked up the cards and shuffled, more aggressive than I ever have. I was dimly aware of what I was doing, and at this point I think it was Her entering: "I do not speak to now as your Fiancé. I do not speak to you as Jay. I speak to you as the Morrigan." NOTE- I don't remember saying 'as the Morrigan'. I remember saying 'for the Morrigan'. But that was reportedly the phrasing, so yay.

I don't remember the cards. I don't remember what I wrote. I do remember flipping through the book and scratching down the meanings on the sticky note, in scratch only She and I (in the moment) could understand. I didn't need the book for most of the cards, of course. I was aware of that, and I was filled with a most morbid sense of achievement. It was a very strange feeling. I was desperate for the answer, and in being so it was so that I Knew the answer already. Or that was Her.

I don't know what I said. No one does. Only An Morrigu and my love do. And for one reason or another she wants to keep it that way.

I do remember saying choice a lot. And control.

(Judgement. That's the only card I remember. I don't know if I said this or not, but I remember a voice saying 'Judgement's eyes gaze upon you. Will you stare back?' The deck I use for the Morrigan is the Lost Hollow pocket edition, if that helps)

I also remember, very hazy, all 9 (nine) cards falling out and knowing where to place them and saying something snarky as that happened.

When I came to, our friend A had been watching the incense and said it went out suddenly when "I" was done with the reading.

I'm still shaken.

I know who spoke to him as well. It was Macha.

I sincerely hope I didn't hurt my Love. My Light, my Moon, my fiancé.

Afterwards I asked what the question was and it broke me to hear. It shouldn't have happened like this. None of this should have happened like this. But I know if it hadn't it never would have. Happened that is.

I type these words very carefully. I keep my tongue tied, lest I break the fragile fabric of my own mind.

I need to ground myself today, call my names, do a ritual with my brother to call me back.

I don't think we'll ever be the same. I'm not sure if that's okay yet.

And yet, we live