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#this came out so long
cecilxa · 1 year
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hi is it alright if i request kaeya, diluc and thoma (separate) with a reader who feels very insignificant next to them and their achievements, hurt to comfort pls <333
i see you, i cherish you
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contents: hurt/comfort, fluff, established relationships, gn!reader, monologues in each part so have fun with that haha
cw: negative thoughts, overall sadness and insecurites, feelings of emptiness, crying, food
a/n: first of all, ty anon for being incredibly patient! i'm so so sorry this took so long to fulfill, but i really hope you enjoy it nonetheless!
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kaeya– pavo ocellus
Even with one eye, you consider Kaeya to have achieved and gone through so much you couldn’t even imagine happening to yourself. From losing his parents to another parent, and on top of that, his rather- for lack of better words- rocky relationship with his brother, he’s gone through so much and emerged so strong. This comes to the problem at hand. You. Even though he may not have such a clean and honest reputation, people still respect him, evident through their affirming glances and the straightening of their backs whenever he walks by. You, on the other hand, are merely thought of as an accessory, an addition to his ever-growing collection of precious items, tagging along for the sake of it. 
It’s draining to keep thinking like this, you know, but you can’t help the thoughts that constantly invade your mind, constantly reminding you of how insignificant you are compared to Kaeya. You’ve done nothing of value; you’ve done nothing to help the people of Mondstadt, and you’ve done nothing for yourself at this point! He seems like such a respected figure, and you seem so little compared to him, you might as well just live your life inside forever and no one would notice you were gone. 
Tears start escaping from your eyes, and you don’t bother to try and catch them with your mouth like you did when you were younger, because what’s the point? You’re going to eventually start crying again, and again and again. You’re just not important enough and you haven’t done enough and you just feel so small, and so empty. Curling up into the foetal position, you let the sadness wash over you.
Kaeya hurries back to your shared home. He’s been looking forward to this, the thought of holding you in your arms and being able to kiss your delightful mouth is enough motivation for him to be tying up any loose ends his (interrogations) job may bring and finishing up the stacks of paperwork his other colleagues have piled up out of laziness. Honestly, some people these days have no moral integrity!
Unlocking the door, and walking in, he immediately notices how quiet it is. That’s strange, considering how he can usually find you either in the kitchen, preparing some form of dinner whenever he comes back home late, or in the hallway right in front of him, welcoming him back home instead. There’s no one in either of those rooms, and when he calls out your name and no one calls back, he begins to get worried. He can’t lose you, not ever, so when a fresh wave of panic tries to take over, he tries his hardest to stay calm and think about things logically. The next thing to do would be to check upstairs. He’s bounding up them, two at a time, his strides revealing how much he’s actually worrying about your welfare, but he doesn’t even reach the top when he hears your cries. 
Not even caring anymore, he bursts inside your bedroom to find you curled up on your bed, body wracking with tears, shaking periodically. A myriad of emotions swirl through him. Anger, at whoever made you feel like this- he stores a mental note to free up some time later that week- relief- well, at least you aren’t missing or gone, but most of all, sorrow. Sorrow at your sorry state, sorrow at the fact you feel like this, sorrow that echoes deep in his bones; a sorrow that makes his heart twinge in uncomfortable ways. He walks over to the bed, and lies next to you, facing your body. 
Gently wrapping his arms around you, he whispers sweet nothings as you cry into his chest, each one making his eyes soften, and grip tighten.
“Please tell me what’s troubling you. I can’t have my darling all wound up, can I? It’s my duty as a knight to make sure all the citizens of Mondstadt are happy and healthy, wouldn’t you say?”
You don’t respond to his questions, like he thought you would anyway, so he changes tact.
“Darling, I beg. I don’t like seeing you upset, and know I’ll deal with anyone who tries to harm you, so please tell me what’s wrong. Whatever you say, I’ll make it right, you don’t have to lift a single finger, I promise.”
You sniffle a bit at this, tears coming slower, and you can feel his warm stare on your head, hands stroking your waist in a way that’s always made you feel relaxed. Or maybe that’s just his arms. Voice cracking up from all the crying, you respond, albeit with a wobble.
“I-I just haven’t done enough, Kaeya. I haven’t done enough!”
Bursting into a fresh set of tears, you wail into his chest once more, and once more, Kaeya shushes you. He kisses the top of your head, one that he hopes conveys his patience for you, and your words. He lets it linger for a couple of seconds before speaking again.
“To me, you’ve always been enough. Why else would you have stolen my heart, and why else would I have allowed it to happen?”
“But, you’ve just done so much and I’ve done so little!”
Kaeya frowns. He now knows what the problem is, but he feels clueless as to how you could ever feel this way. To him, you’ve done so much both for the people of Mondstadt and himself, helping out whenever you can, and always with a smile on your face.
“I’m going to stop you there, darling. Know that nobody thinks lowly of you. I may be the Cavalry Captain, but I have no horses; you may be my partner, but you are also a person. You may not see this, but everyone else can. You have done, and helped so many people that they come up to me- even when I’m out in the tavern- to talk about how you had helped them that same day. Apart from seeing your face, those little conversations are the highlight of my night, and they should be yours, too. So don’t worry, darling, from now on, I’ll tell you those messages and we’ll see how truly significant you actually are. I love you, wholly, and I never want you to feel like that ever again.”
His arms tighten around your waist as he presses a lingering kiss on your head. You squeeze back with the pressure of a feather, and a soft smile breaks through his face. 
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diluc– noctua
There are many ways you can say the name Diluc Ragnvindr. The Darkight Hero, saving grace of Mondstadt, free from the shackles of the Knights of Favonius, or perhaps, Master of the Dawn Winery, filthy rich, yet hard-working, producing possibly the best wine in the whole of Teyvat. No matter what name people utter, it always comes along with bucket loads of respect and admiration, constantly failing to hide the fact that they hold him in extremely high regard, much higher than what you could ever hope for. People speak of his courage, perseverance, and determination (well, maybe apart from Kaeya) when all they say to you is to ask how Diluc is. 
It’s frustrating, no- it’s angering and belittling, and it’s as if you don’t have anything to stand for other than being his partner! He gets all of this respect and you just have to stand by his side! It’s as if they don’t even see you as a person with achievements, which- well, what have you done that’s worthy of praise? Nothing, you guess, maybe becoming Diluc’s partner was the peak of your life; it’s only going to go downhill from here, you’ve done nothing good, you’ve done nothing worthy; maybe you don’t deserve him at all. And- oh there the tears come, hot and salty, droplets dripping down your face. 
There are many ways Diluc says your name. He says it gently, with hushed undertones and comforting hugs; he says it passionately, with longing in his eyes and a bold thump in his heart. But most of all, he says it so full of love, as if you had hung all the stars in the sky, full of unending, fulfilling, admiring adoration. Whenever your name leaves his mouth, people can’t help but stop and stare; it’s just so obvious how much the Master of the Dawn Winery cares for his special someone. Whenever your name leaves his mouth, there’s an ever-present look in his eye, one that reveals everything he feels about you, a look that proclaims out his devotion. 
So when Diluc finds you- alone, sobbing violently into your pillows- he doesn’t hesitate to place you on his lap, arms cradling your fragile figure, as he utters your name again. He says it again and again, stroking your hair softly, waiting patiently (as if he wouldn’t wait an eternity) while he lets you cry into his shoulder, eyebrows slightly furrowing at the sight of seeing you so upset to get to a point like this. It’s not fair, he thinks, for you to feel like this when you deserve nothing but the opposite, and- he shouldn’t blame himself for this- but what if it has to do with him? You know he’s busy, and he knows he’s busy, but what if you’re feeling as if he doesn’t love you anymore?
Oh, what a lie, as if he could never love you, what a lie, as if he could never look forward to seeing you, as if he could never touch and kiss you as if it were his last. Those people weren’t lying when they said that he was truly in deep, too deep to ever get out of the hole he had dug for himself. Diluc doesn’t mind, though, if he’s in there with you, he would stay like that forever. 
This doesn’t fix the situation at hand, however, and as much as Diluc would like to be able to fix all of your problems, the world doesn’t work like that, and so the next best thing is to help you try and feel better.
You’re still crying, and with every sob that you let out, a piece of his heart seemingly shatters into the void, and he thinks the only way to repair it would be to see your smile again. However, you’ve changed positions to where you’re both hugging each other. You on his lap, arms around his shoulders, and his arms around your waist, sporadically kissing your cheek every once in a while. He sighs, though not at you- never at you, eyes heavy with sadness at your state, and whispers gentle words, cradling your head with his hand.
“Look at me, darling. I love you eternally. I love you with my whole heart, and I can’t even fathom how much it beats for you. I do not know why you’re crying so, but I hate it. You do not deserve whatever this is you are feeling, and I know you as much as I know the back of my own hand. To me, you are the greatest person I have ever known. You have the ability to make me feel things I didn’t know I could, and you made me love, the most important thing of all. I have slain and destroyed, but at what cost? You have healed, and perhaps that is what I love about you so. So please do not cry, darling. You have done so much for me, and you have done so much for others. I know that much, so please, can I see you smile again?
You gaze up at him, eyes widening, as they fill up with tears once more. But not sad tears this time, happy ones instead. You kiss him, salty and passionate and thankful. It’s rather amazing how he manages to find the exact words to comfort you. 
Diluc may be considered stoic, and quiet to most, but for you, he’d recite the longest scripture he could just to wipe your tears away. 
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thoma- rubeum scutum
The past few days for Thoma have been particularly busy. Both the Kamisato siblings required some type of assistance that had needed to be by their side for an extended amount of time, often just accompanying them with daily tasks around Inazuma that they may need to be called to. He doesn’t mind though, because at the end of each day, even though he may arrive late, even though he may find you asleep on the couch once he finally arrives back home, he gets to see your face, and gets to carry you gently off to bed, pressing some kisses to your forehead as he does so. 
However, what Thoma doesn’t get to see, is the constant emotion of insignificance you feel next to him. You’re truly proud of him, you really are, and you’re glad he’s so busy and looked after all the time, but sometimes you wish that you could feel that way too. Sometimes you wished that you could receive the same workload as him- just to be able to say that your superiors trust you to be able to deal with larger things, like him. But you don’t and now you feel useless. Especially now, since he’s been kept working late for the Kamisato Clan, you’ve been chased by negativity for the days that he’s arrived late home, and it’s catching up to you.
It’s suffocating, you just want to be recognised by someone, for someone to be proud of you and to be able to say that they respect and admire your ethics and hardworking nature. But instead, you do mundane tasks everyday, get home, wait for Thoma, then go to sleep. You want something more; you yearn for some sort of sign in your life that you’ve achieved something, that you’ve created meaning for someone else. You just feel so tired of it all, you just want to go to sleep.
Staring at the wall blankly, you don’t even notice Thoma creeping in with a smile on his face, only to be replaced by a concerned frown. It’s the end of his gruelling week of assisting and accompanying, and there’s nothing more he wants than to be able to lay in bed with you, the one he loves with all his heart. He even prepared a cake for you to share, your favourite flavour! But when he sees you, devoid of emotion, a grim expression on your face unlike your usual self, he doesn’t hesitate to place the cake aside- all but forgotten- and rush over to where you’re sitting. 
“Baby…?” 
He whispers, almost scared to raise his voice, as if he would upset you even further. When you don’t respond, he gently raises you up to your feet, so tenderly, you know he’s done this before. He tilts your head up to look at him, and he gets scared. He gets scared at the empty look on your face, and he musters up all the love he can get (which- to be frank- is a lot) to smile at you. Even though he’s scared, the eyes are the window to the soul, and his truly reveal how much he cares for you. He searches for feeling in yours, and when he spots just a glimmer, he leans down to give you a gentle peck on the lips. 
“Do you want to tell me what’s troubling you? I’ll do my very best to sort it out, you know I’d do anything for you.”
Comforted by the sound of his voice and affirmations, you regain some feeling in your body, and you feel less exhausted. 
“Sorry, Thoma. I just- I’m not feeling too good.”
“Oh, would you like anything then? I have a really good soup recipe that I can make for you, just get some rest, and it’ll be ready in just a few minutes! I would prefer for you to feel better sooner rather than later.”
You sigh. 
“No. That’s not what I meant. I mean- well- you’ve just been so busy and I’ve been… here, doing nothing. You’ve done so much already, and I haven’t done anything at all, I just want to feel as if I’ve done something… significant like you, that’s all.”
Tears start pooling at the corners of your eyes, and Thoma hurries to wipe them away with his hands. His heart clenches at your confession, worry evident in his eyes. If only you knew how much you mean to him, how much he thinks that you’re the significant one in the grand scheme of things, and how much he values your existence. 
“No, don’t say that kind of stuff, it hurts. You know I love you so, so, so much and that I think you’ve done so much- too much- that I can’t possibly repay you. You don’t know how much you’ve impacted my life, and that I’m so grateful you came into it. I think others would agree too. I look forward to seeing you every day, y’know? You’re the highlight every single time, so don’t think of yourself as worthless, or insignificant, because I think if you weren’t here, my heart would have a massive gap right down the middle! I love you so much, baby, and it pains me to see you hurt like this, but I want you to believe that compared to me, you’re the one who shines bright. You’re the star here, not me.”
He pauses when you don’t respond. Maybe you need some time for yourself, sometimes that’s just the case. 
“I’ll make the soup now, okay? I love you.”
Turning around to head out, a pair of arms from behind him encase his waist. 
He laughs, turning around again to face you. Stroking your hair gently, he presses a kiss to your forehead, and wonders whether you can tell how much he truly loves you. How much he would do for you, and sacrifice for you. Thoma mutters a quiet ‘thank you’, and you look up at him, confused, tears still in your eyes. 
“Surely I should be the thankful one, Thoma? Thank you, though.”
Your voice goes quiet at the last part. 
He smiles softly, eyes drooping ever so slightly in admiration, in patience and in understanding. 
“My pleasure.”
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a/n: tysm for reading to the end! likes, reblogs and comments are highly appreciated! ❤️
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cheerlaedere · 7 months
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go go @edhellfire !
If Francis Reid had wanted to he could have been popular. He had the looks for it. Unlike his sister his blond hair was 100% natural. And some in high school (girls mostly) had thought his chilly indifference to his classmates made him mysterious and all the more alluring. But he hadn't really dated or socialized much with his classmates. The adults of Hawkins knew and liked Francis, finding him remarkably polite and mature for his age. He was almost always in he company of his younger sister which also earned him praise.
Few if anyone asked why their mother wasn't the one escorting them on such errands. Few in town liked Bonnie Reid interpreting her intense shyness and piousness as haughtiness.
When Francis or Frank came home from med school he rarely socialized with anyone. Some still found him attractively mysterious and he'd won points for studying to become a doctor
No one except his sister, Toni, knew he occasionally self medicated with weed. Being home made him anxious and he rarely interacted with either parents if he could help it. He'd made some progress socially in college but it was slow. Usually he bought weed from Rick Lipton when both their parents went out for dinner but since he'd gone to prison he'd been buying from Eddie Munson. Much to his sister's irritation.
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She sat at island kitchen applying make up because she insisted the lighting was better here than her room. She hated to admit it but she was aware of Eddie much more aware than she should be which is why she pretended to ignore him while her brother went to find the money. "Didn't Frankie have you over like last week?" She said attempting o fill wha was becoming an unbearable silence.
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warriours · 2 years
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@hellmartyr come out and play
Rembrandt wasn’t a fighter even with the dark red vest hanging from his shoulders that said ‘WARRIOR’ in large letters. It was something of a mutual understanding amongst the gang to look out for the kid when there was a rumble or if another gang sent a war party looking to bop or parlay. He was the kid brother some of them never had even if he had come up through the pavement like all of them had and depending on the metric used to measure it in more hostile conditions than most. 
He was quick for instance and good at hiding when he needed to be. And he’d had to use both skillsets to get out of sight from the Rogues when they came rolling through. Every gang in city new about the bastards. They were crazy fuckers. Cop killers too if the rumors were true. 
He didn’t see where they went only hearing the menacing roll of the hearse they drove around in. He wondered from his hiding place where they had gotten the machine- cars were hard to come by, ones that ran were harder. And then of course there was gas.
For a time there was silence followed by the shrill, manic laughter of the Rogue’s leader and then the sound of the hearse finally disappearing in the distance. Still Rembrandt stayed hidden, cautious as a young dear in the wake of a predator. 
When he did emerge he moved slowly carefully observing and listening for any change in the environment before he headed towards safety, towards the Warriors base. Being out in the open street again made him nervous and he wished he had the safety of numbers on his side. He paused suddenly, aware of a sound nearby. It was vulnerable sound, human or animal and frightened- possibly wounded. Slowly he moved toward it, hoping childishly it might be a cat or dog. 
He stopped abruptly, when he found the source. A man, older than he was but not by much. He looked in rough shape, long hair like the Rogues tended to have, his clothes reminded him of the Rogues too. But something else made him think this was no bopper. Maybe it was the fact he didn’t look bugfuck crazy. 
“Hey um, you okay?” He asked careful to keep out of the strangers reach or kicking range.
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ink-the-artist · 1 year
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Rabbits
Some bonus art, I initially started making this in a totally different art style but changed my mind about halfway through lmao, here are the parts I finished
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devicecontact · 2 months
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Did a little meme redraw thing. Og under the cut
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puppyeared · 22 days
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basement guys
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Okay so I need someone who's better at landscapes and art style replication than I am to hop on this idea. because this man and his alien planet biome and storyline were made for the scavengers reign art style fr
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 14 days
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An unbothered queen has entered, and subsequently left.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
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mariana-oconnor · 1 year
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Types of AO3 Summary
Option 1 - The Excerpt:
The quickest, the easiest! Find a section of your fic that contains the main premise of said fic and also showcases your writing. Copy paste that into the summary box. BOOM! Done.
Best used for any fic, unless it's so short the excerpt would be the whole fic.
Option 2 - The No Frills:
Just a description of the fic. No need for drama. No need to complicate matters. Keep it simple, keep it safe.
Example: "A short character exploration of Blorbo's thoughts after Daisy leaves."
Best used for short fics, poems and fics where the style/format is more important than the plot. Or fics that tie directly into a scene/episode from canon or another fanfic.
Option 3 - The Hook:
Draw the reader's interest by giving them a set up with no conclusion. Introduce the main character(s), introduce the status quo, describe an inciting incident, leave a question in the reader's mind.
Example: "Blorbo is a barista at a coffee shop, struggling to pay their bills, but after handsome rockstar Obrolb walks into their coffee shop they find that they have to decide whether a chance at love is worth the cost of fame."
Best used for mid to long fic where there's a strong premise and follow through. Especially good for AUs. Can be expanded for more complex plots or used multiple times in one summary for multiple characters or subplots.
Option 4 - The Sitcom One-Liner:
"The one in which [over simplified description of one of the main plotlines]" This is essentially 'boil your plot down to the very simplest statement you can, oversimplify if possible. The more bizarre or unhelpful the better.
Example: "The one in which Blorbo learns to like cake".
Best used for fics with at least a little humour in them.
Option 5 - The Rule of Three:
Three is a magic number. Find three key moments in your fic and just list them. That's it. Often ends with 'not necessarily in that order' if used for comic effect. If it's an AU, establish that quickly (i.e. 'Star NHL player Blorbo…').
Example: "Blorbo makes a friend, falls in love, and almost burns to death, not necessarily in that order."
Best used for anything, really. Three is a magic number. The human brain loves things that come in threes.
Option 6 - The Trope Lure:
Why bother describing the plot? We all know AO3 readers are here for the tropes. Similar to The Sitcom One-Liner just using tropes instead of plot. Often followed by the phrase 'that nobody asked for'.
Example: "The Space western / A/B/O / Mail Order Bride fic that nobody asked for."
Often tacked on to the end of The Hook or The Excerpt as a tl;dr.
Best used for fic that plays its tropes straight with no shame or second guessing.
Option 7 - The Pre-emptive Strike:
(Not recommended) You just wrote this fic, the self doubt is consuming you. You feel the need to apologise profusely for your existence for no apparently reason. You feel cringe, you think the fic is cringe, you want everyone to know that you think the fic is cringe in case they don't like it and judge you for it.
Example: "So I fell in love with this pairing and had to write this. It's weird and terrible. Lol! I suck at summaries! Sorry!"
Best used for no fics ever. I cannot stress this enough.
(Seriously, I am begging you, don't do this. If you're planning to use this option, rethink it and do one of the others. I guarantee you more people will want to read your fic.)
Sometimes added on to any other summary as a strange disclaimer. (srsly. don't.)
Option 8 - The Unapology:
Embrace the mayhem, embrace the deep dark depths of your soul. The opposite of The Pre-emptive Strike. A combination of The No Frills and The Trope Lure that truly gives no fucks.
You have committed crimes and you are proud of them. You know what your USP is and you're going to make sure your target market finds you. Look upon my works, ye readers, and despair!
Example: "There aren't enough tentacle fics in this pairing, so I had to write one myself!"
Best used for fics with controversial/polarising tropes with all relevant details already clearly stated in the tags.
Option 9 - The Interrogation:
What if you wrote a summary entirely in questions? What if your readers had to read the fic to discover the answers? Who knows what will happen if you do this?
Example: "What happens when Blorbo McBlorbo gets his wish and Daisy doesn't make it to the plane on time? What happens when Obrolb finds out? How will this change Daisy and Blorbo's friendship?"
Best used for... I honestly don't know. This style of summary does not vibe with me. Mystery fic maybe? Sorry guys.
Option 10 - The Multipack:
Got a bunch of shorter fics in one work? No way of summarising them all without a wall of text larger than the Great Wall of China? This one is similar to The No Frills in that you're not describing the plots themselves and similar to The Trope Lure in that often broader genres and tropes are mentioned. What links those fics? Are they all in the same fandom? The same pairing? The same challenge? Just slap that right in the summary. A chapter list with 1-2 word trope/pairing summaries can be included or not.
Example: "A collection of Blorbo/Daisy/Obrolb fics based on Tumblr prompts. Chapter 1: Regency AU Chapter 2: Werewolves vs vampires Chapter 3: Ghost!Daisy Chapter 4: Space pirates!"
Best used for (obviously) works that are compilations of fic.
Option ? - The Void:
I said The Excerpt was the quickest and easiest summary to do. I lied, well... I didn't exactly lie. What is quicker and easier than not having a summary at all? After all, that's what the tags are for.
Example:
Best used for... nothing? Write a summary, guys. Please?
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rileyclaw · 2 years
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the first night
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h0nkshroom · 3 months
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The One Who Waited.
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kowroo · 18 days
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really looking forward to season 2: patrolling the mojave
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jomeimei421 · 8 days
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Felt a bit nostalgic watching RT shut down…Here are the og faves again for old times sake 💙
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bixels · 8 months
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Now that Ghibli's new movie is coming out soon, I've been thinking about anime films and wanna talk about my favorite animated movie ever, Tokyo Godfathers.
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TG is a 2003 tragicomedy by Satoshi Kon, following three unhoused people––an alcoholic, a runaway girl, an a trans woman––who find a baby in a dumpster and set off across Tokyo to reunite her with her parents.
If you like the sound of that, go watch it because the rest of this post is spoilers and I have FEELINGS about this movie.
URGHH, the fact that only two moments of true kindness, generosity, and care given to the three protagonists without any expectation of reciprocity are given by a Latin-American immigrant couple and a drag show club full of trans women. The fact that, despite her loud and dramatic personality, Hana is the glue that holds the team together and the heart of the whole movie. The fact that this movie pulls no punches at showing the violence and inhumanity committed by "civilized Japanese society" against the unhoused. The fact that Miyuki craves to be loved by her parents and ends up seeing Hana as her true mother. The fact that Miyuki starts off accidentally using transphobic language against Hana, but slowly begins calling her "Miss Hana" out of respect. The fact that, according to Kon, Hana's role in the story is as a mythological trickster god and "disturb the morality and order of society, but also play a role in revitalizing culture." The fact that Hana so desperately wants to be part of a true family, yet is willing to sacrifice her found family so they can be with their own, and is rewarded for her good deeds in the end by becoming a godmother. The fact that, throughout the movie, wind and light have been used to signify the presence of god's hand/influence (this movie's about nondenominational faith––faith in yourself, faith in others, faith in a higher power. Lots of religious are referenced, such as Buddhism/Hinduism, Christianity, and Shintoism), and in the climax of the film, as Hana jumps off a building to save a baby that isn't hers, a gust of wind and a shower of light save her from death. The fact that god saves a trans woman's life because she proved herself a mother, and that shit makes me CRY.
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devourable · 1 year
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† church boy
[ sfw | tw : religion (not named but heavily implied), sacrilege, potential religious trauma? as well as general yandere content but it’s v tame ]
male yandere x gender neutral reader! only pronoun used for reader is ‘you’. i havent written like this in a very long time so i apologize if this is bad ;_;
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abraham lived a simple life for the majority of his 21 years on this planet. he was born and raised in a religious household, the only son of a wealthy pastor, surrounded by typical bible-thumping folk who taught him that *** was above everything, above him, above the things he loved, and putting anything (or anyone) above his faith would surely result in his damnation. and his whole life, he believed that.
that was… until you entered his life.
it happened at a fundraiser he was volunteering at. it was any other day for the boy, handing out advertisements and chatting with everyone that came and went. an average, mundane event for him where he’d talk about the same things he did every day, smile, wave, everything that was expected of him.
after the last person in his line had left, he looked down to begin organizing his things so he could join the rest of the party. when he was shadowed by someone stepping in front of him again, he expected to see a familiar face — maybe someone that might’ve forgotten something? but when he looked up…
abraham’s breath caught in his throat. he swore the earth had stopped spinning the second your eyes locked.
whether if you were there because you shared the same religion, was dragged there by a friend/family member, or simply because there was free food, he had no clue - but it didn't matter. your looks, the way you moved, the sound of your voice — why was it all so... enchanting?
he couldn’t help the slight stutter in his words as he hastily offered you a pamphlet, quickly introducing himself and inquiring about you. what was your name? were you new to the church? why haven’t you met before?
the soft laugh you emitted as you spoke and the feeling of your skin grazing his felt like fire. and your name... oh, the poor boy didn’t even realize it, but he couldn’t help it — within moments of knowing you, he had grown totally enamored!
abraham found himself hovering by your side for the rest of the event. he was awkward, you’d quickly realize, but it was in that sort of sweet, inexperienced way. he was desperate to know you, to get closer to you, hoping that maybe if he could understand you, he’d figure out how to quell these intense feelings that had built within him — but to you and everyone else, he was simply making sure a new face wasn’t alone during the event. he was just being a good little pastor’s boy! that’s what he told himself too, over and over again.
he was being good by making you laugh. he was being good by giving you his number. and it was good that he grew elated by the idea of getting to see you again after this. he was a good person, so what if he was neglecting his duties to be around you? he did what he was supposed to all the time, surely he could be forgiven just this once.
right?
his obsession with you didn’t take long to blossom after that first meeting. you started to infiltrate every part of his life in one way or another. his prayers became tangled up with thoughts of you. rather than reading the bible, he’d reread the texts between the two of you while he waited for you to respond to them. when he went to church, he found himself scanning the pews in hopes of spotting you among the congregation rather than finding a seat right away. when service began, he couldn’t focus on the preaching taking place because he was too busy thinking of ways to see you again.
despite the utter adoration abraham had grown to feel for you.. at some point, for the first time in his life, he couldn’t help but wonder — was he becoming sinful? was he growing gluttonous for your attention? he couldn’t have been, he had been so devout his entire life! it was fine for him to miss a few services to see you as long as he made up for it later…
he couldn’t tell if you were an angel, as heaven-sent as he felt you to be, or if you were the embodiment of temptation, pulling him away from his faith and beckoning him to sin. were you both? could you be both? with the progression of his obsession with you, his conflicted feelings about his relationship with his faith grew alongside it.
maybe you just weren’t any good for him.
but your name and god seemed to always come up at the same time…
so maybe, it was a sign that he had someone new to worship.
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hoaxghost · 28 days
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Two recent commissions! Hmm...I might like using purple and blues a lot...
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