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#this connection still makes me crazy and i love it
almondamaretto · 2 days
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sunday
matt sturniolo x reader
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summary: a rainy sunday afternoon is perfect for two things: getting high, and making out with hot people.
warnings: weed, kissing
a/n: i lowk hate this but idc!
not proof read.
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she stirred as the familiar vibration of a phone call interrupted her deep slumber, slinging her arm around in search of the agitating device. without lifting her head, her fingertips fell upon the cool, glossy screen of her phone. 
she opened her eyes just to squint them closed at the bright phone screen, the caller id reading off "matty b." 
pressing the bright green button, she pulled the phone up to her ear and slung her arm over her eyes, blocking any light from seeping in. 
"hey matt." she answered in a groggy voice that nearly resembled that of a whine. he always loved the way she sounded in the morning. or all the time really. 
she could hear the distant sounds of wheels driving on wet pavement and cars passing. that along with the poor bluetooth connection through is car told her he was driving. 
"hey doll, i'm on my way to your house right now, that ok? nick and chris are being annoying." 
slightly more awake now, she could hear the sleepiness in his voice, as if he too had just woken up. she pulled the phone from her ear to check the time. 12:32pm 
"say, it’s a bit early for you, isn't it?" she asked in a teasing manner, suppressing a yawn. she could now hear the faint sound of rain against her window. 
matt snorted in amusement, "yeah, the two idiots woke me up screaming at each other." 
"that's alright, I'll go unlock my door. see ya soon?" 
"i'm 5 minutes away." 
"be safe, bye matt." 
"bye, doll." 
doll. 
matt had used the nickname throughout their entire relationship. 
still, it never failed to bring heat to her face, her neck--all over. 
she remained in bed for a few moments, letting herself fully wake up before tossing her heavy comforter off. 
she shivered at the chilly air suddenly caressing her exposed skin, standing up and stretching her arms high into the air, inhaling deeply. 
she slipped a pair of socks on as a barrier between her feet and the cold floor, slipping out of her cozy room into the main section of her apartment. 
the cool, metallic texture of her lock was a stark contrast to her warm hands as she turned it, peeking out from behind her curtain to see what was happening outside. 
she waltzed over to her turntable, flicking it on and letting the record already on the platter play.  
as she walked over to her kitchen, the familiar crackling sounded throughout the apartment, followed by the reggae notes of bob marley's "three little birds." 
the sound of lucky charms cereal clinking against a ceramic bowl masked the noise of her door opening and shutting. so, when a slightly damp matt saw her swaying slightly to the music, he couldn't help himself. 
he snuck up behind her, wrapped his hands around her front, just under her loose baby tee, and lifted her up. "boo!" 
she yelled out in fear, until she recognized the voice of the man he startled her. "matthew!" she scolded in an angry tone. 
matt sat her back down gently, and dropped his head in fake guilt, failing to mask his sly smirk. "sorry, i couldn't pass up an opportunity like that." 
"first of all, fuck you. second of all, 'boo' is crazy." she responded through her laugh and turned to finish her much-needed bowl of sugary cereal. 
matt reached up beside her for a bowl--one from a different set--as a way to ask her for cereal. she filled both up with cereal and milk without a word. 
"i'm too cold for this shit." she mumbled under her breath and padded back into her welcoming bedroom. 
the sky outside was dark, so she turned on her array of string lights and lit a cinnamon scented candle, joining matt who had already climbed into her warm, plush bed. 
"i fucking love this bed." matt groaned out int pleasure, sprawling his limbs out as much as he could without risking spilling milk. 
she took a spoonful of cereal into her mouth and grabbed her tv remote, powering it on. "what do you wanna watch?" 
"gravity falls." he spoke from behind a mouth full of food. 
then, the two just sat in comfortable silence. bob marley playing lowly in the background, the television turned up just loud enough to hear it, wrapped in the comfort of her sheets. 
cereal bowls placed on her nightstand with care, the two cuddled into each other, legs tangled as she hugged his torso, head laying on his chest. 
they both recognized the palpable tension that followed them everywhere. they both knew there was something there. something unspoken. 
but that it what it remained--unspoken. neither took any action, too afraid of the outcome. 
matt glanced down at her, watching her eyelashes bat as she blinked, focused intently on the screen. however, as if she could tell, she lifted her head and looked into his eyes. 
panicking, he looked back at the tv screen, urging himself to breathe normally. 
she stood up, a faint smirk painted on her beautiful face. "i have a great idea!" she said proudly, spinning to unlock one of her many windows to open it slightly. 
matt watched her intently as she bent over to look in the drawers of her nightstand, pulling out the essentials for a joint. "there's a reason we get along so well." he responded happily. 
she took mock offense. "what, its not my winning personality?"
"i guess that too."
"i'm gonna go flip the record, will you please roll it?" she asked with big pleading eyes, grinning widely when he nodded his head. 
upon her return, she saw him focused intently on creating the perfectly rolled joint. chewing on her lower lip, she watched as he rolled it tightly between his fingers, stinging his tongue out of his mouth to seal it shut. 
once finished, he held up the small object with a proud smile on his face. she giddily climbed back into the bed, placing the filter end between her lips, and lighting the end. 
she inhaled deeply, ignoring the burning in her throat, and passed it over to matt. 
exhaling, she once again snuggled into his side, craving his warmth. 
they passed the drug back and forth, enjoying the intoxicating feeling swarming their brains. her eyes had dropped down and turned red, and her need to be close to matt grew even stronger. 
at this point she had tuned gravity falls out, instead taking interest in the way the smoke lifted and swirled throughout her room, taking on the color of the few and far between sun rays that filtered through the rainclouds.
the sound of the rain falling against her balcony outside was comforting, nearly as much as matt pressed up against her, his heart beating steadily against her head.
passing it back once more to matt, she looked deeply into his eyes, refusing to look away, other than a quick few glances at his pink lips. she took her own in between her teeth. 
matt took a large hit, thankful for the drug's confidence boost, and brought his free hand up to her face. 
warily, he inched closer to her, pulling her closer with his hand. 
their lips were inches apart when he used his thumb to part them gently, tilting his head and blowing the vapor into her willing lungs. 
her hand snaked up to the back of his neck where she gripped the short hairs, and she exhaled the smoke. 
they paused for a moment, and in a quick decision she grabbed the thoroughly smoked roach, turned to snuff it out in her bedside ash tray, and turned back around to smash her lips against matt's. 
she was filled with the warmth she so desperately craved and needed. she straddled his lap and wrapped her arms around the back of his neck, shuttering as he traced up and down her sides and back with his. 
the music playing from the other room was forgotten about along with the cartoon show on the tv. all of their thoughts were consumed by each other. 
slipping his tongue into her mouth, he tilted his head and brought a slender hand up to push her even closer to him, if it was possible. 
they fought over dominance of the kiss, exploring each other's mouths with need, short, breathless whines falling from their throats. 
without hesitation, matt flipped them over completely, so he was laying his weight on top of her.  
Small hands caressed his face and gently tugged on his hair, wet noises making both faces heat up in embarrassment. 
finally, they pulled away to catch their breath, chests heaving and pressing against one another with each intake of breath. both were left speechless, gazing into each other's eyes with starstruck looks of awe and affection. 
it wasn't long before matt leaned back in, this time acting with double the desire, twice the passion as before. 
they made out for what seemed like hours--it probably was--rolling around in her warm bed, impossibly tangling themselves in her cream-colored bedsheets. 
the only breaks they took were to breathe and for short, affectionate conversations which always led back to them shoving their tongues down each other's throats. 
they pulled apart again, still breathing heavily. 
"matt, y'know... i've-i've never liked someone the way i like you.” 
he smiled against her lips, placing a few more longing kisses on them. 
tucking hair behind her ear and holding both sides of her face, he stared intensely into her eyes. 
“i am in love with you, doll.” he confessed truthfully. 
she beamed with joy, her sheepish reaction telling him she felt exactly the same way. 
“even when you have really messy hair and a little bit of dribble on your chin.” he teased and wiped her pointy chin with his slender thumb.
she rolled her droopy eyes and shook her head, her giddy smile never leaving her red, swollen lips “just shut up and kiss me, idiot.” 
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etz-ashashiyot · 15 hours
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I'm sorry, but actually I'm not over that comment whining about how several of the JVP ritual, uh, practices and bastardization of Judaism are being excluded and how we can't police people's identities.
Actually yes we absolutely can.
[Rant incoming]
Listen, I hate exclusion, alright? Inclusion is always the answer when it comes to people knowing who they are. Every obnoxious identity policing thing in the queer community that has divided us and ripped apart communities has been cruel, counterproductive, given platform to bigots, a distraction from the real issues bearing down on us, and honestly just dumb as a box of rocks. Okay? Okay.
But Jewish identity works differently, because it isn't about YOU. Becoming Jewish is about taking on Jewish culture and religion, a closed ethnoreligious culture, through the narrow path consented to by the collective Jewish people. There IS a path, but it is a highly supervised one. Otherwise it's just appropriation and cultural theft; something Jews have been subjected to for millennia. And if you do legitimately convert you do so because you love the Jewish people - the whole Jewish people - and want passionately to be a Jew for its own sake. You want to join our nation-tribe. You want to join our family.
And the crazy thing to me, the thing that still blows my mind, is that this is allowed! Even after millennia of appropriation, oppression, violence, expulsions, and genocides, Am Yisrael still accepts genuine gerim. It would be so understandable if they had closed the path entirely and tried to shut out outsiders who might bring in danger on their heels even if they themselves were not dangerous.
But they didn't. We didn't. To me this is a miracle, a blessing, and sign of true faith and hope. It is a privilege to be here.
Yet in the same turn, you gotta respect the process! You can't just declare yourself a Jew simply because you feel like it — it doesn't work like that. You can't just declare yourself an Argentinian one morning either without becoming a citizen first, even if you have Argentinian ancestry. And sure, if you do have some of that ancestry, you are connected to the nation, but that's different from being given a vote y'know?
Using a totally unsupervised, totally unsanctioned, brand-new neo-pagan ritual to unilaterally declare your membership in a tribe does not make you one of us. If anything, it proves why you never will be.
Now! Let's assume for a moment that we are referring only to the provably halachic Jews whose connection and backgrounds are beyond reasonable questioning.
You can never really leave the tribe, but you absolutely can apostasize. Plenty of Jews do it. There are plenty of Jews who find that Judaism is not spiritually fulfilling for them but something else is, and they convert out. There are halachic Jews who have walked away from Judaism in order to practice any other number of religions: Christianity, Islam, Neo-paganism, Hinduism, etc.
That is their prerogative, but by doing so they turn away from their people in a serious way and cannot be said to be practicing Judaism. There is of course room for many different types of Jewish practice, but conversely, there are practices that are too far removed from Judaism to meaningfully be considered as such. Otherwise, it's no longer a coherent group identity. And because Judaism is a collective identity, that actually matters.
The Jews as a people have decided that worshipping gods that are not Hashem is not within the realm of Judaism, which is why messianic "Jews" are not practicing a valid form of Judaism even if they are halachicly Jewish and/or have Jewish ancestry. Worshipping Jesus makes you a Christian or at least adjacent. That is a hard boundary.
And yeah — if you change the basic meaning of holidays, if you bring in lots of practices that are brand new and have no halachic or even historical basis, are often highly individualistic, and would not be accepted as Judaism by the vast majority of Jews, then it absolutely falls outside it. If I started practicing a religion that made little icons of Muhammad to pray to once a day and celebrated my ingenuity with pork roast and a nice glass of wine, I don't get to say that I'm practicing Islam.
These people are doing the Jewish equivalent. It is something else entirely. Especially because so many of these practices spit in the face of major tenets of Judaism and go against Jewish values.
To treat it otherwise is to treat it as an absolutely meaningless aesthetic rather than a living breathing ethnoreligious tribe of people who get to decide our own community's boundaries and practices collectively.
And for the naysayers who still disrespect Judaism and Jewish identity and peoplehood so much that they think that they get to define Judaism more than actual rabbis? Look, we can't physically stop you from calling yourself Jewish, but by the same turn, YOU can't force US to recognize you as one of us. You can be mad, but that's the thing about group cultural identities — that cultural group gets to decide whether they claim you or not.
[To be clear: this is not about politics — there are plenty of Jewish non-Zionists and anti-Zionists who are 100% Jewish. This is about this one specific shitty organization and this particular type of behavior.]
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oflgtfol · 2 days
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MarvelDC anon x5 sorry im back again I just wanted to say I agree 100% with everything you say and don’t rly have anything to add there that isnt just recycling your points. It’s genuinely fucking crazy how the entire point of the superhero in 90% of cases is that they are vigilantes who operate outside of the legal system and yet so many of them are given plot lines about how the cops or the military are Awesome. Or like will show them buddy buddy with cops or the government. LIKE STOP ITTTT. STOP ITTTTT. And most of the time too it’s for characters where them being hyper connected with the government etc makes their overall story Worse. Ill use flash as an example bc You Know that guy but I LOVE flash I love him as a disabled character struggling w addiction issues for personal reasons BUT HIM LOSING HIS LEGS LIKE SHOOTING PEOPLE IN THE SWANA REGION AND THEN BECOMING A GOVERNMENT GUY IS SO FUCKING ASSSSSSS IT MAKES HIM WORSE AS A CHARACTER AND A PERSON IN A WAY THAT ISNT INTERESTING BECAUSE THEY NEVER SAY ANYTHING INTERESTING ABOUT IT!!!!! Like why the fuck did Flash even become disabled in regard to Going To Commit Imperialism For The U. S. A like NYC gets destroyed on the daily!!!! Have him lose his legs by a building falling on top of him!!!! Im spitballing ideas here but why wasn’t Venom Flash uhhhhhh Him Losing his legs in an event like that, in conjunction with him saving someone else, since this is the era of Symby and Eddie's breakup Symby is slithering along + sees this and helps him out, bc you know they can make their own choices and do what they want and maybe they wanna be a hero too even for a moment, then like maybe a few months later or whatever They Meet again and Symby is like hey….. I felt something when we bonded for that brief time. Im going through something rough too right now (The Divorce) so why don’t we try something new together. AND NOW BOOM. you can have Flash as Venom. Now without the stupid venom as addiction metaphor too! Like if you really fucking want you can include stuff about the government trying to manipulate them or whatever but as a whole this would have been so much better of an angle to start venom flash with but NO that we DIDNT GET Because Of The Military Complex meaning We Cant Ever Have Good Things
i know this is so controversial among the venom fans but like i'm really not that attached to flash lmfao i know nothing about him he's just some guy to me i just know he's so much better than mac gargan cuz by god that was a dark time for venom comics.
so now i'm the one nodding along with you and not adding anything lol. i trust you to come up with a better backstory for him because i literally don't know anything about him beyond the vaguest outline. i don't even know what war he fought in that he lost his legs to i dont know Anything. eddie some little absolute freak to me but flash is just some guy
Like if you really fucking want you can include stuff about the government trying to manipulate them or whatever but as a whole this would have been so much better of an angle to start venom flash with but NO that we DIDNT GET Because Of The Military Complex meaning We Cant Ever Have Good Things
i do have to say though that this is totally how i thought venom 2011 was going to go. the first like, four-ish issues got my hopes up so much. i really honestly thought it was going to be drawing parallels between symby and flash how they are ultimately just tools of the government, just weapons that can be discarded in pushing the military's agenda.
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this whole page drove me insane at the time and it still kinda does. the way flash is lying directly to his superior to stay with symby longer despite how much he's been drilled that being with the symbiote too long is a danger. they aren't friends yet this early but there's still this impulse to stick with it. and it's because they're parallels!!! the symbiote is quite literally being treated as a mindless tool by the government - it's deprived of all rights that a sentient, sapient being requires. it's trapped and it's being forced into serving and fighting on behalf of a government that doesn't even care for it. likewise, flash is being given the illusion of choice, and to some extent he still does have a choice, but he's being so manipulated by the government here that really he is also just a mindless tool for them - or at least, they want him to be mindless about it. the final fucking panel at the bottom of the final page is crazy.
it was such a strong start to a run that i was very apprehensive about due to aforementioned lack of knowledge of flash as a character, and my general fed-up-ness with the way the comics had been handling venom and eddie in general during that irl time period. so i was so so hoping that it would be taking a blatant and staunch anti-military stance, or even at the bare minimum if it was even still done in a liberal way, as long as there was still SOME criticism of the military complex i would be jumping for joy. and the idea of flash and symby then also bonding during all that?!! crazy. but then it just kinda. goes off the fucking rails halfway through that run/??? like demons and hell and satan kinda off the rails. absolute bonkers. i need to reread venom 2011 actually i barely remember it it was like a fever dream to me. could have been because i descended into madness shortly after i read it but i digress
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yuri-is-online · 2 days
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Hello, it's hotarubi-sho anon again. Just saw that post on Taiga asking mc if she's "ditched this future" too and wondering what your thoughts are on that! My mind is blank rn bc I'm having a really bad tummy ache and need something to think about lol.
I have a lot of thoughts on the potential of it because I am a huge huge HUGE fan of romances that involve some kind of time travel shenanigans, the flavor of "I'd love you in every world/every timeline" never gets old for me. The angst of one person not remembering the other (or both of them) but they fall for each other all over again. A person crazy enough to end their alternate selves and take their place bc their loved is dead in their own timeline. A person willing to turn back time at a great cost bc nothing matter's more than their partner's wellbeing. Insane, I'll never not go crazy for these plots, if it's not at least this dramatic I don't want it (lol)
Wondering if the mc in the burning academy is from a "future she ditched". How is she connected to the time loop? Is she the cause? How does it happen the first time, does she do it just to save whoever was on the balcony? Why does Taiga have awareness about this when he can barely remember her? His messed up memory having something to do with experiencing loops would make sense. I feel like the Like Dove must have done something very terrifying in some future for his reaction now. And suddenly his importance has increased it's like I'm slowly being made to understand why he's the poster boy now lol.
So many questions and not enough answers I really hope Hotarubi chapter doesn't make it WORSE please answer some plot points instead.
See the one thing I want to disagree with is the idea the like dove does something terrifying? Because it's a dove... so what could it do shit on him? I see more reasons to be afraid of Peekaboo than the dove... but then again it is still an anomaly. Maybe he saw it during a particularly traumatic event that he struggles to remember so that's why he reacted so badly to it? (i am so sorry i abandoned you to your tummy ache I hope it got better)
I think whatever caused the timeloop likely started the previous year with the clash, as for why his memory is clear about it his memory loss seems to relate to the first and second year students. He knows who the third years are and has a solid grasp on things that happened during his first year at the school, it's the next two where things get screwey so I want to know more about those.
I don't want to say MC is the cause of the timeloop just yet? But not because I don't think that could be the case, I just don't have the evidence for it yet. I think The Hotarubi Chapter will answer some stuff, but likely make the questions we do have deeper. I think there's a chance that the chapter might end with Ritsu telling us he's finished reading the school's records about the clash and then that will be our set up going into Mortenkranken's chapter. Maybe anyway?
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stephadoodles · 2 years
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anotherfandomtrash · 5 months
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I've connected the dots
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hecksupremechips · 1 month
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Girl like. The reason he said "this is how it should be" and faced death with a smile....is cuz he wanted to die. For 2 years he sat there thinking he was worthless and deserved to die. If he hadn’t be shot, his death would’ve been suicide, he was fully planning to die in a gutter somewhere undetected. When saying "this is how it should be" hes literally saying "don’t cry because I’m dying, my death is a good thing actually because I fucking suck and you are better off without me". I don’t think that’s badass even slightly, it’s actually really sad and really shitty. Shinjiro is so convinced that he deserves to die and hates the idea of anyone giving a shit about him because he literally can’t wrap his mind around the idea that he will be missed when he’s gone, that his death is a bad thing actually. And his last words were meant to be comforting because he fully did not intend for anyone to be there when he died, he intended to die alone, so he says them as a reminder that he’s not worth crying over
Personally, if it were me, if I was holding my dying best friend in my arms who was deeply depressed and suicidal and he said "this is how it should be" uh. I wouldn’t admire him for it??? Like am I losing my mind when I say the way this game handles Shinji is bad or is anyone else seeing this too 😰
#its like okay listen i understand the basic math of any persona game they say things and everything they say is actually#very bad when you think about it for more than 3 seconds#like what theyre intending to do with the death of this character is be like oh no your sad friend dies tragically thats so saddddd#but that doesnt mean you cant live a wonderful life full of meaning you cant let grief consume you life is beautiful awagga#and i guess shinji is a specific character whos used cuz i guess its more tragic that he never realized he was worthy of life and shit#and i guess its also like ‘dont be like this guy who let grief consume him and then died you gotta Be Different’#which i dont. love. that last part cuz if you think about shinji and what led him down this road#its like. of course hes depressed! he accidentally killed a woman with a child when he was 16!#he himself is an orphan and he just made some other kid an orphan as well and it happened cuz his persona went out of control#which very much can translate to ‘this must mean im dangerous and can hurt everyone if im not kept under control’#so of course he isolated himself and believed he was evil and became suicidal like who wouldnt feel that way#like am i supposed to be mad he left sees and took drugs cuz uh while i dont think isolation or Evil Drug is good for his mental health#i dont think him continuing to fight in sees is something he can just easily do again given how he killed someone like he shouldnt have to#be a part of this thing anymore like how would he even safely get castor to not do that??? he cant kill more people on accident!#so yeah like using shinji as an example of bad coping mechanisms is already just. a big fucking oof to me like it just feels like the game#is saying he shouldve gotten over it and simply not be suicidal and stayed on the team. idk if thats the intent but uh it wouldnt faze me#cuz persona games are notoriously awful at writing characters who are traumatized and abused#but what makes everything even worse is how the game kinda like. acts like shinjis death is a stepping stone#like we’re supposed to use it as a wake up call and understand the stakes but keep going on anyways#and akihiko and Ken get. ‘great character development’ according to the game telling you they have now developed#but damn all akihiko is is just repressed he cries for 3 seconds and then is like I SHOULD MAN UP and then neglects a depressed child#shinjis dying words are words to live by now even though they piss me the fuck off like girl am i crazy HES FUCKING#HES TELLING ME NOT TO CRY OVER HIM BECAUSE HE SHOULD BE DEAD ACTUALLY AND THIS IS A GOOD THING ACTUALLY#like if the game wants us to still find meaning in life despite losing someone it just really hurts that shinji has to die for that to work#apparently. cuz the character i see myself in is shinji. not some perfect prettyboy who does everything perfectly and has 4 gfs#his death seems like a punishment for bad behavior. the bad behavior being of course depression and drug use. and im simply supposed to be#better than that if i want to live. and we dont get to form a connection with him cuz thats gayyyyy#and his death is like a NOBLE HEROIC SACRIFICE idk its just such bullshit to me i hate it so bad#how is killing a suicidal guy and then treating it as admirable that he said ‘this is how it should be’ supposed to make me feel#makes me feel sick personally and it ruins the entire game’s theme to me because its fucking shallow and the story is bad and im tired
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proto-language · 5 months
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hrngnfghnfg
#just thinking aloud but#i dunno. kind of feel like the last Barrier between me and Normal Personness or whatever#is just. i feel so completely and utterly unable to feel empathy specifically with regards to children and childbearing and childrearing.#like. i have known ever since i was small that my parents lost other pregnancies before me and between me and my sister. and all i could#feel about that as a kid was 'thank god because i never wanted a sibling anyway' and 'uh well i never asked to be born soooo... so what'#and now as an adult. i know that it's a terrible thing to suffer a loss like that.#and i'd at least manage not to act inappropriately towards someone i knew if they were in that position.#but i still can't find any of the *feelings* about it.#which is strange because i usually feel Everything So Much.#i also still don't understand when people talk about like. instantly falling in love with their kid or whatever#like maybe i almost get it if it's a child you've gestated for nine months and then given birth to.#but i feel like people *must* be at least partially lying about it when it comes to things like adoption#because there'd be such a high psychological and social penalty to admitting that you felt anything less.#adoption in general drives me crazy like i cannot Believe that it's still just a really accepted alternative to having a biological child#when... any kid who has had to be removed from the circumstances into which they were born and given to new people#is surely going to be traumatised or have issues or however you want to put it.#and it can't possibly be the Same Thing as having a... fresh baby of your own.#anyway. i feel some sympathy for and plenty of logical understanding of children and parents.#but none of it makes sense to me on the level on which i usually connect with people.#and hell maybe everyone feels that way until they have a kid. in which case i think everyone#is wildly irresponsible for having those kids without knowing they're gonna like it or be good at it and hoping it'll just work out. lmao
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scattered-winter · 1 year
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back at it again with another batshit dream I had but last night I was on a beach with my sister and brother-in-law, some random background characters, and eddie fucking diaz (chris was there also) and we were just hanging out on the sand but then some prehistoric alligator-dinosaur-sharks started jaws-ing people in the ocean and eddie swam in to get chris out (he was fine) and so we all went to the hotel that was for some reason right on the beach because it wasn't a great day for swimming I guess. (my sister and her husband didn't appear in the dream after the beach and I'm assuming they got gotten by the shark things but I don't know). and then we were hunkering down in the lobby for a while until we started hearing screaming and chaos and explosions outside and we looked out the windows to see that cordyceps (tlou) was breaking out and there were zombies everywhere and some were trying to break into the hotel so we all ran into the stairwell to get away from them and from there we started fighting our way up the hotel levels (it had 7 floors) and we lost a few people and had to lock them in rooms since we didn't have any guns (but eddie and I had katanas for some reason, and so he took point in the stairwell and I brought up the rear in case anything came after us) and as we went up, we all started to get to know each other. there was a very kind elderly woman who had recently been through a nasty divorce who had gone on vacation to this beach to try and recover, and she held chris' hand on the way up the stairs since eddie was busy protecting the group from the front, and she gave everyone little peppermints from her purse to keep spirits up. there was a little kid who was learning to draw and I showed him some tips and tricks during our breaks. we were all helping each other and protecting each other and we were close-knit family by the time the dream ended (I miss them). by about the 5th floor it was pretty clear that the whole world was ending because 911 wasn't working and nobody could get ahold of anyone outside the hotel, and from the windows we could see the chaos unfold like a spreading rash. the 6th floor had the prehistoric alligator-dinosaur-sharks for SOME reason (they were hopping around on their flippers which should have been funny but in context it was TERRIFYING) and eddie and I had to slice them up with our swords so everyone could get past them. we had to fight our way through a horde (miraculously nobody got bitten or scratched) until we reached the 7th floor, and the elevator that would take us to the roof so we could get picked up by one of the rescue choppers that were flying all over. (how the elevator was working when there was no electricity, I have no idea.) we tried to fit everyone in at once because like I said, we were family now and didn't want anyone left behind, but there were so many of us that we had to split into groups. I went in the first group w my katana in case something was on the roof, and chris, the drawing kid, and a few others came with me. eddie stayed behind to go with the second group since he had the other katana, and the nice peppermint lady stayed too. we got to the roof to find a few other survivors, and sent the elevator down for everyone else, and the second group got up with no trouble, and a few minutes later the helicopters came. and the very last bit of my dream was a slow camera pan over the entire destroyed city, and the camera stopped on a view of another building (an apartment complex) a few blocks over from the hotel, where the cordyceps had first broken out. the blinds were tattered and torn, the windows broken, and there was blood and bits of gore all over the blinds and walls and broken glass. and then I woke up in my dark room feeling like a zombie or alligator-dinosaur-shark was gonna jump at me from outta nowhere and I have to just live like that lmao
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paeonie-s · 2 years
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insomniacs after school makes me physically ill oh my god
#nakami studying the anatomy and conditions of the heart .. him choosing the stem track bc he wants to become a nurse#or beyond in order to better understand what magari is going through#their late night podcasts .. one degree removed from direct connection making them all the more open w each other#magari unable to leave her house for who knows how long bc of a Potential complication .. feeling crushed under her families love and care#and only hoping to enjoy whatever life she has left hanging out with her friends and travelling with nakami and having herself immortalized#in the ink and paper of every photo ever taken of her by someone she loves#most wholesome series in existence yet death flags are everywhere with every potential ending having so much to say about love and grief and#their coexistence. the art the way each and every smile is drawn w sm emotion and understanding. shits crazy#THE ASTROPHOTOGRAPHY .. LITERALLY A PERFECT SYMBOL AND ELEMENT GOD the vastness of the universe and our place in it#nakami says every photo i take is a photo of you bc you are the reason this world opened itself up to me#magari says i am stuck in a room in a single country on a single planet in a single galaxy out of an infinitely expanding universe#with all my focus on a single organ within my body and the fear it incites and you still make me grateful for every second i can still hear#your voice. shit is insane and so funny and romantic and heartfelt and it tells you again and again that it will likely end in loss and#grief and a silent death and the world continuing to spin like nothing happens#but it drags you into every panel and every line and every scene it creates for a moment that streches out into infinity#its open and expressive and informative of its inclusion of health conditions and disabilities but it still takes the time to state that you#need to love without pity and without an expectation that things will always be alright#just value the time you have together. its so fucking good im gonna explode#insomniacs after school#🌸.txt
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groupwest · 2 years
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What is wrooong with my parents
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iinmysights · 3 months
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tfw you’re so mentally unwell and desperate for an older brother like so many people online have that you
#Ravage.txt#dl#vent cw#ugh. UGH.#i love this show i watch with dad i genuinely do but at the same time it makes me feel sick seeing the brotherly bond these four have#esp the beret. like i connect so hardcore with him being the go-to medic of the group (@family friends: i do not possess my dad’s expertise#but i DO possess pattern recognition and puzzle solving skills and common sense and google) and being the/a caretaker basically. seeing them#prank each other and joke and drop each other in crazy ass places with a laugh while still caring deeply for the health and safety of#whoever got royally fucked over that round. fuckin military produces such steadfast bonds man it’s a found family system built in if you#survive everything and i wish i could find that bond outside of it. i’ll never have that with either of my brothers and no one around me#seems to understand just how badly it hurts to hear about how great all these other older brothers are to their younger siblings. i want#that too. why couldn’t i have it? why can’t i have it?#i don’t wanna. sign up to be nearly killed and then go kill a bunch of people just for that bond. but man. man. maybe i need to connect w#some military dudes or some shit i don’t know i don’t know. i’m just. fucking miserable right now.#i’m trying so hard to be grateful for the life that i have (esp when ive seen how it could’ve been so much worse at so many different points#in it) but fuck dude. i just want a guy who’s the older brother to my younger sibling. and a cat who doesn’t sleep on my blanket in the 5#minutes i spend with it off of me so that i could get pickles.
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chisungie · 4 months
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#lost how far i was into death is the only ending for the villainess manhwa#and im sure i read through like. waay further in novel form but obv its been long enough that the manga should be pretty caught up now#BUT OH MY GOD i picked a random chapter and iT WAS ECLISE(? girl whats the actual romanization for these names)#TELLING THE FEMALE LEAD TO LEAVE HIS COLLAR ON AND HE'L BEHAVE SO SHE WONT THROW HIM AWAY#GIRLLLLL 😭 i always felt so bad for him i think i liked all the male leads enough but he always. damn. he doesnt miss </3#44597#THE LATER CHAPTERS WHERE HE GETS CRAZIER(?) ARE WILD TOO BUT I FORGOT HOW CRAZY.. MF DO BE CRAZY THO 💀#also liked vinter.. forgot if he was any good in the end but hes v perceptive and a little manipulative but w good intentions#which sounds shitty but i swear it makes him interesting. forgot the other dudes tbh but i probably didnt like them 💀#loyal wolf guardian and clever bunny wizard.. my choices are funny im ngl#WAIT THERES THAT ONE GUY THAT LOVES PENELOPE THROUGH AND THROUGH.. THE ONE WHO SAVES HER FROM THE ISLAND RIGHT?#such a good guy i support that mf so hard ! but hes just not for me yk </3#the brothers suck tho 🤷‍♀️ iirc#ohh its kallisto. hes hot tho#actually him saying he dgaf abt the empire and would run it to the ground if penelope wanted it is pretty lit too. team kallisto tbh#OUgH CALLISTO IS SO FUCKING FUNNY IM NGL#WATCHING PENELOPES FOCUS ON JUSTRAISING LIKABILITY FOR SURVIVAL TURN INTO HER ACTUALLY FALLING FOR CALLISTO IS SO AAAAAAA#nvm seeing his favourability for her vs eclise's just broke my heart. i hate him sm#penelope slowly and unconsciously realizing shes formed a real connection w these ppl outside of treating this like a game im going to sob#buT STILL NOT KNOWING HOW TO MAKR THAT 99% INTO A 100%.. PLEASR THAT MAN CAN READ YOU LIKE A BOOK HE KNOWS YOURE LYINGGG 😭#ohhhhh then it all goes to shit and she doesnt trust anyone this is so pAINFUL STOP
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astrxealis · 7 months
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went out w friends today super duper fun i'm really happy but anyway just on here to say it's my break now so i'll be a bit more active i hope, it's my bday soon too, and i got asked my gender today which was p cool 😙🥺💗✨
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#i miss it here but real life has been so fun again that i'm just. really happy JEGQKDJS#LOVE ALL MY FRIENDS SM u guys here and those irl and elsewhere online and yes <333#it's crazy tbh i went to a mall today w my friends in class as a yk gala but also in advance for my bday ... they r all so nice i love them#they kept hyping me up and idk it's a small thing but i love how observant they r SNIFFS maybe i'm just not used to it all so it means a lot#but either way it means so much fr. AND THEN OK the weekend after this one i'm watching a movie w my other grp of friends from arti's class#hehe 2nd time hanging out w em but we'll be more complete this time around <3 !!! and thennn at school i hang out w a variety of friends at#diff times and then online i've been connecting in diff ways w my closest friends online too and even randomly here yk and then yeah it all#just makes me vv happy that for the first time in... what. 6 years. i've been truly myself w interacting w others#BCS YES i am shy introverted quiet BUT ALSO the complete opposite but in a nice way. best of both worlds fr.#idk IEHSJDJS JUST REALLY HAPPY I'M 'BACK' to who i kind of rlly am but either way i am Me#sniffs..... okay but i'm not gna get emotional rn LOL#it's not rlly break yet until sat tbh which is my bday :P we're just staying home for the rest of the week but there's still school#i was worried at 1st i rmbr i wouldn't like my class but i had my thoughts and ideas which were good#and BOOM they actually did come true. it's amazing. oh my god.#also bad moments have come n gone but i've been dealing w them healthily and generally always trying to be as best as i can be healthily#DAMN. i'm thriving. but even if things go sour i know it'll go through and yeah. amazing#so tldr touching grass is rlly good and loving urself lmfao#the thing is i admittedly have always loved myself so. good for me! genuinely i have always and knew for a very long know i always will love#myself :] rlly nice to have that stability but ig it stems too from a very ahaha childhood WHWHJD i've fastforwarded growing up mentally#it's p sad but ig i wouldn't have it any other way since who i am is who i am. so. yeah.#YEEHAW OKAY GN !!! i shut up now hehehe#i miss writing... ye gods
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nanaslutt · 1 month
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Thinking about inexperienced Choso accidentally doing the knee thing during a makeout sesh
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ʚ cont: afab reader, making out, dry humping, sexual tension, dirty talk, teasing, first time orgasming (Choso), cumming untouched, cumming in pants (Choso and reader)
MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS DNI
°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❀⋆.ೃ
You lay back against Choso's hard chest, his head on your shoulder and his arms wrapped around your torso as you lay on your bed together, catching up on some show the two of you have been watching. After watching about 4 or 5 consecutive episodes, the familiar "Are you still watching?" question showed on the screen, making you sigh.
"Whoever created this idea sucks, of course I'm still watching." You mumbled under your breath, beginning to lean your body off of Choso's to reach for the remote. Little did you know, Choso had been aching to kiss you all day. He knew the two of you usually ended up sharing kisses when you were alone like this, and each time it happened only increased his neediness for the next time you were together as he began to expect it as he did now.
Choso kept his arms tightly wrapped around your torso, preventing you from leaning forward. You were jolted back against his chest, your eyes going wide when you realized you were stuck. A smile grew on your face when Choso plopped his forehead down on your shoulder, burying his face in the crook of your neck as he blushed furiously, hoping you would catch on to what he wanted so he didn't have to say it.
You turned your head to face him and cupped his neck with your warm hand, pressing his face against you. "Cho, how am I meant to move when you hold onto me so tightly, huh?" You teased, pressing a soft kiss to his temple. Choso's eyebrows furrowed against your skin when he felt the familiar touch of your lips on him. He tentatively raised his head and looked into your eyes, his cheeks already a deep crimson red, eyebrows furrowed in a desperate look.
You kept your hand on his warm neck, feeling his pulse race under your fingertips. You smiled and licked your lips, staring back and forth between his eyes. Choso's breath was already picking up as the tension began to grow between the two of you. Choso swallowed hard as he looked between your eyes and your plush lips, looking like they were begging to be kissed. 
You leaned in ever so slightly, lips grazing against his, your body feeling hot when his arms tightened around your body as you did so. "Tell me what you want Choso." You whispered, your hot breath tickling his lips. Choso's lips were parted slightly expectantly, his breathing now more audible. "I wanna kiss." He replied, his fingers curling into your shirt that covered your stomach. 
You bit your lip, your nose tapping against his as you continued to tease him. "Yeah? You wanna kiss me?" You whispered, turning your head to the side as you readied yourself. Choso's eyes fluttered softly as he nodded, his eyelids already feeling heavy even without touching you. Choso let out a noise of surprise when you pressed your lips against his. His thighs twitched ever so slightly with the need to press his legs together, but you were between them, so he couldn't.
Choso felt his brain turn to mush as you massaged your lips against his, soft barely there sounds getting caught in your throat making him go crazy. Choso never broke the connection even when he released your body in his arms and slowly slid out from behind you, maneuvering your body so you were against the pillows he was just laying against. They were warm with his body heat, feeling welcoming as Choso placed himself between your thighs, on top of you.
Your chest rose and fell heavily as he dragged his large hands up and down your body, your shirt riding up as he played with your sides, touching you everywhere he could. Choso loved kissing, the sensation of his lips intertwining against yours combined with the feel of your body and the sounds you made when you kissed him took over his brain completely, trampling over and pushing out any and all other thoughts.
You wrapped your legs around his waist instinctually, making Choso whine at how good your body felt against him. His hands itched with the need to touch you higher up each time he caressed your torso. Your chest rose and fell heavily against him, your back slightly arching off the bed each time he overpowered his tongue with yours, making you feel dizzy.
Choso was a bit shy when it came to intimate activities, up until he was actively participating in them, then his instincts took over and he became more confident. You and Choso had been dating for a few months and had never gone past heavy petting and kissing, but you would be lying if you said your body didnt ache to go further with him.
You placed your hands on his shoulders and slowly slid them around to his back, grabbing the nape of his neck with one hand while your other disappeared under the collar of the back of his shirt. Choso's eyes rolled back in his sockets at the touch, even though his eyes were closed. He felt that same familiar ache build itself up deep in his stomach, and the position he was in was giving him no relief.
His pelvis was close to being pressed against yours, but it wasn't, leaving his unknowingly throbbing cock to twitch against the confines of his boxers with little to no friction. You lightly raked your nails over the skin of his back, feeling his hard muscles under your hands as the kiss increased in fervor, getting more intense. 
Choso took it upon himself to adjust his position a bit, sliding one of his legs to the side a bit so his pelvis was against the bed and the underside of your thigh. You smiled against Choso's lips, feeling how needy his tongue was getting against yours. You were caught off guard when you felt a strong thigh press firmly against your cunt, making your lips separate from his in an embarrassingly loud whine. 
Choso stopped kissing you to look at your expression, worried he might've hurt you. With furrowed eyebrows and a fucked out expression, you reached both hands between your bodies and pressed them agaisnt his thigh, trying to ignore how hard you were throbbing against his leg. "I'm sorry, are you okay?" Choso gasped, not yet realizing what had happened. 
"Choso, your knee." You whined out breathlessly, pressing against his thigh again, silently begging for him to let up before you lost control. You were already holding back enough. Choso's eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he looked between your bodies to see his thigh tightly against your cunt, and your hands pressing above where you were connected. 
Choso immediately pulled his leg back and apologized, slotting his leg back to its original position. You saw the muscles in his jaw bulge out under the weight of his teeth as he looked away in embarrassment, worried he had ruined the mood. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to.. touch you there." Choso apologized, darting his eyes back over to yours every so often.
You wrapped your hands around his neck and pulled him against your shoulder, forcing his head to be buried in the crook of your neck. This abrupt action surprised Choso, he placed his hands on your hips and waited for you to speak, focusing on how loud your heart was beating against him. "No, it's okay. It.. it felt good." You whispered, turning your head against his ear, your lips grazing his skin.
Choso felt that same familiar heat build-up in his tummy again at your confession, it was getting unbearable. This is usually where the two of you stopped when he felt a little too worked up for his own good. But this time, he didn't want to stop, he wanted to see where this would go. "It felt... good?" He questioned, staring at the bedsheets in front of him as he lay on your shoulder.
You nodded, pressing a kiss to the shell of his ear that sent a shiver down his spine. "You can put it back if you want." You suggested, making Choso shut his eyes and take a deep breath. He didn't know much about pleasuring others or even himself, but he knew the type of "good" you were talking about was much like the one he felt when he pressed his crotch against the sheets, or your leg when you kissed.
Choso pulled his head up from your shoulder and brought his face agaisnt yours, a hair length away from your lips. You grabbed his face and looked into his eyes for a moment before you pulled him against you by his cheeks, forcing your lips together in a kiss. The kiss was just as needy and hasty as before as the two of you opened your mouth against one another in a sloppy makeout. 
Choso swallowed hard before he started moving his leg again, trying to remember the position he had it in. When you felt his thick thigh press against your throbbing clit again, you gasped into his mouth, a sound he eagerly swallowed up, his face growing redder at the sound.
You felt dizzy as your back arched against him, your hands once again wrapping around his neck for support. You squeezed your legs around his thigh and relished in the feeling of your clit getting stimulated from the pressure alone. Choso could feel he felt something twitch against his leg, but he had no idea what it could be, all he knew was that it made his own problem feel ten times worse.
Choso started kissing you more intensely, his own cock being stimulated against the sheet and the underside of your leg once more. You whimpered into his mouth, your hips twitching agaisnt him, ever so slightly rubbing your cunt against his leg. "This feels really good." Choso gasped into your mouth, feeling the heat in his tummy boil up within him.
You nodded, making a sound of agreement into his mouth. You felt like you were seconds away from cumming, you couldn't believe how aroused you were. Your whole body burned with pleasure and arousal as you sloppily kissed into Choso's mouth, the kiss being more tongue and teeth than anything.
You felt that familiar pressure build up in your abdomen, making your thighs twitch and your body curl against him. Choso increases the pace of his kissing, his lips now moving jerkily and unceremoniously against your thigh. "Choso-" You whined against his lips, both of you now panting and whining into the other's mouth. Choso felt like something was going to happen, and he didn't want to stop, he needed to feel whatever this was leading to.
His fingers dug into your hips as his lips started parting against yours, as did your own against his. Both of your moans and pants grew silent as you gasped against the other's mouth. It was only still for a moment before the two of you came crashing down. Your body shook with pleasure as you came in your panties, your abdomen curling in against Choso and twitching as you orgasmed on his thigh.
Choso's head fell into the crook of your neck as he came, hot spurts of cum being released into his pants. With each rope of cum he released, his hips would cant involuntarily against your own. Choso groaned and gasped against you, his head going numb as sheer, white pleasure wracked through his entire body and overwhelmed all of his senses. 
The two of you gasped and whined heavily as you came down from your highs, fighting to catch your breath and recover. Your bodies were limp against each other, but you still held each other tight, not wanting to separate just yet. "That felt so... so good," Choso whined into your neck, a shiver wracking down his spine. You nodded against his shoulder, raking your hands through his messy hair. "Uh-huh...so good." You replied, equally as fucked out as you nodded dumbly, breathing heavily with Choso's full weight resting against your body.
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myr-curial · 6 months
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I cant stop thinking about The Boy and the Heron.
It's horrifying. It's fantastical. It's tragic. It's beautiful. It's hopeful.
It's about grief. It's about family. It's about war. It's, "You don't have to walk the same path your ancestors did." It's "Your lived experience builds a world as deserving of your attention and care as your inner world" and "You inherited a flawed world, and you are flawed, and that is still beautiful" and "I made this beautiful thing and it's ending and that's just how it goes, but wasn't it beautiful?"
It makes me think about the worlds we make within ourselves and how they can be entrancing and wonderful even as they lead us to walk deeper into ourselves and away from those around us. It makes me think about connection, about how love can be so flawed sometimes but it is still something we need to hold onto. It asks "What if the monsters never asked to be monsters?" and "What if things can die before they're even born?"
It's about not being afraid of fire, not being afraid of endings, not being afraid of the world falling apart, of pain, of walking away, of reconciling, of finding new family and new love even as you mourn and miss what you lost.
It says, "Beautiful, wonderful things end, but afterwards, you can go home."
I'm going crazy.
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