#this doesn't apply to people who just find him hot suddenly

[catscidr]

YANDERE DOTTORE X READER JAHEKWHZBAKNA

happy to see most dottore enjoyers sharing the same braincell. even happier to provide that good good dottore content (〃ﾉωﾉ) answering two asks in the same post bc it would be too repetitive if i made them separate agshfjns- next post will feature either childe or al haitham (depending on which one i finish first) (giving everyone a break from dottore for a hot sec) ⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝ cw: yandere dottore (obvs), not quite proofread, dottore is named zandik in the mini-fic includes: gn!reader, dottore, his clones are kinda there, pierro and the tsaritsa are also mentionned. a handful of headcanons + a mini-fic wc: 1,8k

-ˋˏ Despite what most people might think, Dottore isn’t a sadistic man. He only hurts people if it’s necessary- if it helps with his research- and even then, it’s not like he enjoys inflicting pain, he enjoys the knowledge he gathers as a result of such experiments

-ˋˏ ...That doesn't apply with you though. He likes to see you squirm, to do things that make you react, whether positively or negatively. He’s that desperate and needy  

-ˋˏ He’s a man that doesn’t go out much because of his work. So how could you blame him for wanting your attention? 

-ˋˏ I think he’d be the type of yandere to just be incredibly obsessed with you. Always having someone checking in on you (his segments, of course) to report back to him so he knows what you’re doing at all times, probably the type to have an entire folder with your personal information in it as if you were one of his test subjects

-ˋˏ Not to mention he would be extremely manipulative, too. Dottore is the definition of a wolf in sheep’s clothing; a handsome face with dubious intentions. 

-ˋˏ He wants to have your attention 24/7, to never have you take your eyes off of him, but he can’t do that if he stays holed up in his lab. Unfortunately for him he's very clingy

-ˋˏ But Dottore is a patient man (he was able to create an artificial God y’know- that kind of thing doesn’t happen overnight), so he takes his time with you- getting to know you, having his segments stalk you (he’s not the one doing it, so it’s fine, right?) 

-ˋˏ You’re just like a frog in a pot boiling water. If you put it in the pot immediately, it’ll jump out as soon as it makes contact with the hot water; but if you put it in room temperature water and boil it slowly…  

-ˋˏ The Harbinger knows your “relationship” isn’t an experiment, but at the same time it’s hard to say that he isn’t studying you. Having a mask that obscures his wandering eyes is definitely an advantage  

-ˋˏ It doesn’t matter who you are, he would bend his schedule just for you. He’s that thoughtful! Since he’s practically his own boss (aside from various deadlines and meetings) he can do whatever he wants. Who’s going to tell him off? Pierro and the Tsaritsa don’t care how he achieves results as long as he gets results. So, expect to “accidentally” run into him more times than a regular person would  

-ˋˏ You’re a fatui agent? Suddenly one of his experiments requires him to watch how soldiers (you) fight and train. You’re just a normal civilian? He’ll figure out where you work and find excuses to come see you just to chat 

-ˋˏ It’s even better if you work a customer service job. You work at a cute coffee shop? What a coincidence, he loves coffee! Now he’s a regular and you know his order by heart. (I like to think he actually hates coffee but powers through the bitter taste and energetic aftermath just because it gives him an excuse to bond with you) 

-ˋˏ You work at a grocery store? That’s perfect, he’ll start doing his groceries at your store from now on (you don’t point out how every week his groceries- without fail- consist of mozzarella sticks, a whole rotisserie chicken, cheap red wine, a pack of cigarettes and a singular loaf of whole wheat bread.)  

-ˋˏ If you’re not in the fatui, chances are you don’t know who he is (he doesn’t go out much, after all) so it’s easier for him to play up the “good guy” role (wolf in sheep’s clothing from before nudgenudge). He’s a very smooth talker 

-ˋˏ Of course, you’ve heard rumors about “the Doctor”, one of the Tsaritsa’s Harbingers, a feared man all across Teyvat. So it’s a good thing that your new friend’s name is Zandik and he’s just a normal surgeon that works in a private hospital! Nothing suspicious, 'course not

-ˋˏ Both of you engage in small talk whenever you cross paths. He’ll ask questions about you (even though he already knows the answer to them), all so that you can feel seen and heard- who cares about him, about what he does? This is about you. He wants you to tell him everything 

-ˋˏ The kind of person to use the excuse that he had a Ph.D. for a lot of things. You whine that your shoulders have been sore for longer than usual? He’ll get up from his seat and get behind you, sliding a hand just under the collar of your shirt to press and prod at your muscles to check if there’s anything wrong (good thing you can’t see his expression from behind you), saying he "knows best" whenever the (your) human body is brought up

-ˋˏ His patience isn’t endless, however. If he sees that this isn’t going anywhere, that you seem to be keeping him at arm’s length despite your “connection”, he’ll just take things into his own hands. And even though he doesn’t really get off from causing pain, he’s not afraid to make you squirm either

It wasn’t unusual for you to grab a bite to eat with the Doctor occasionally. Working at a local coffee shop had its perks; one of them being how you could make drinks for free and eat snacks at a discounted price. Though you never needed to worry about money since your friend would always tip you handsomely, basically paying you for the snacks you brought to the table. 

Closing shop was easy enough when you had someone to keep you company while you swept the floor and wiped counters clean. He sat at one of the booths, cup of coffee in hand (you started making it decaf when you noticed his nose scrunch one time when he drank his usual order), watching you work idly. 

“Rough day?” you ask with a gentle smile, looking over where Zandik sat. Being quite some distance away from him you couldn’t catch the twitch of the corner of his lips as he sighed, bringing one hand up to rub his face beneath his pointy mask. 

“You could say that” he grumbles, laying his arms on the table, holding his cup of coffee with both hands. The man tilts his head to the side, focusing on you rather than his pesky thoughts. You put the broom away and saunter over to his booth, sitting across from him with a plate of various pastries in hand. 

“What’s on your mind? Maybe I could give some advice and help! Or you’ll feel better if you just... talk about it,” you chuckle softly, taking a sip of your own drink. Zandik’s gaze never leaves your form, his gaze burning the sight of your lips into his mind. 

If he told you even a smidge of what he was thinking you would, without fail, run and never look back. Even the tamest of things he’s thought about you would drive you away. From him fantasizing about how your skin would taste, to how your heart would look like in a jar on his desk when he worked... he shudders, swallowing down the urge to do something impulsive. Zandik takes a slow sip of his coffee, eyes flickering from your lips to your wide, innocent eyes. 

“Thank you for offering,” he begins slowly, “but that’s alright. I wouldn’t want you to worry about it,” he says smoothly, losing the tension in his shoulders to seem more approachable. With the first two buttons of his shirt undone, hair lightly tousled, and overcoat thrown over the back of the booth chair, he looked nothing like the deadly Harbinger he was. Looked like an overworked businessman at most. 

You puff your cheeks, disappointed that he wouldn’t open up to you. You’ve been doing it this whole time, and yet he won’t talk about what was bothering him to you? It made your heart flutter- he was so considerate- but at the same time you couldn’t shake the idea that maybe he was hiding something. Inhaling slowly, you calm your nerves, deciding that today would be the day you confront him. After all, a good friendship is built on trust, and you can’t stay good friends with someone that hides things from you. 

Oh, how naïve you are. 

“You know you can tell me anything, right?” you say gently, placing one hand on his. The feel of his rough hand beneath yours made you shudder, almost instinctively- are surgeons’ hands supposed to be this rugged? 

“I want to be there for you in the same way you’ve been here for me...” you add, voice trailing off as your cheeks flush in embarrassment. “I think you’re nice to be around. Don’t I owe you for the number of times I’ve complained about customers to you?” you say, chuckling lightly at the memory. 

Zandik doesn’t react, not at first. His eyes fix your face with an underlying threat, gaze hidden by his mask. Although you can’t see his eyes, a shudder runs up your spine at the feeling of being watched so intently. Where have you felt this before... 

“You’re right,” he responds quietly, voice hoarse. “You owe me.” 

His words caught you off guard. Owe him? That was a joke! You were trying to lighten his spirits, to take his mind off whatever was troubling him for even just a second. How come you felt your nerves screaming at you to get up? 

His free hand covers the hand you had laid on his, the grip on your skin becoming firmer the longer you two sat there. Your heart rammed against your ribcage, ears ringing from the sudden wave of adrenaline washing over you. 

“You said you wanted to help me, right?” Zandik says in a sickly-sweet tone, leaning forward to stare at you, gaze unrelenting behind his mask. Swallowing a lump in your throat, you nod dumbly, staring back at him like a deer caught in the headlights. He grins in response. 

Did he always have teeth this sharp? 

“Then you won’t make my life harder than it already is by resisting, right?” he adds. You could hear how heavy his breathing had become in just a few seconds, how his hands had a death grip on your own. His cup of coffee was long forgotten; how could he possibly focus on something as useless as that when you were giving yourself to him? 

The snow pelleted the windows harshly, essentially trapping you inside the coffee shop with him. Even the weather outside couldn’t compare to how cold your blood ran in the face of the Doctor; maybe if you had listened to your gut earlier you wouldn’t currently be skewered in the jaws of the shark that had been circling you for months. 

[autistichalsin]

I don't know, I just find it interesting that every single one of the three characters who consent to having the player have a poly relationship with Halsin, have the fandom erase their consent using the exact same argument, which is, and I quote:

(They) don't actually want it. They just are afraid to lose you.

All of these characters will not hesitate to read the player the riot act for violating their boundaries, and there are quite a few scenes where they (especially Astarion) will outright break up with the player for going too far. These are adults who have little trouble standing up for themselves, yet we are supposed to believe that suddenly, with and only with Halsin, they are unable to consent. (Notably, this also is applied only to the poly romance; the characters' ability to consent to a monogamous relationship with the player is, of course, never to be questioned.)

Shadowheart, who practically salivates at the idea of being regaled with your story of "climbing Mt. Halsin", must not have really consented. (Women can't consent to icky, nasty sex things, see. That would imply they have desires of their own.)

Karlach, who is passionate and strong and hot-tempered, who, again, will call the player out on anything that makes them uncomfortable, is suddenly a shrinking flower who just can't tell the player, "no, I want a monogamous relationship." It can't be that her terminal illness has left her unable to examine her own feelings around polyamory; it must be that she is only saying it not to lose the player. Because Karlach is, somehow, the kind of woman who would stick around if she thought the player would sink low enough as to pressure a dying woman into an open relationship? (Again: women are always delicate flowers. They can't consent to anything, clearly.)

And then there's Astarion. Astarion, who has the most triggers to break up with the player out of ANY romanceable character. Astarion, who says he has trouble saying no to sex sometimes, but explicitly says the reason he's willing to give this a try with Halsin is his experience in this area which guarantees Astarion won't get hurt (and even says earlier that he won't have a relationship with Shadowheart too because she has no experience.) Astarion, who is eager to find his own desires again. Astarion, who wants to make choices- even wrong choices or ones he regrets, because isn't that half the fun of getting to make a choice? Getting to fail? Anyway. THAT Astarion is, coincidentally, ALSO, somehow, lying to the player and doesn't want this at ALL and only says this so the player won't leave him. He leaves if the player manipulates him into sex, he leaves if the player lets him get kidnapped, but this one boundary is, somehow, one he just can't seem to express. Because, you see, survivors are MAYBE capable of enjoying sex, but only "normal" sex with the player. Can't have him agreeing to something taboo like polyamory, because then he might not seem like a delicate flower.

Even Halsin, the bear himself, isn't immune to this: people insist that he too doesn't actually enjoy poly, and only says it because he thinks if he asserts himself too much, makes it seem like he wants the player to himself, that they won't be interested and will reject him. So he pre-emptively brings up something he can't properly consent to... despite polyamory being the default in wood elf culture. Despite wood elves specifically viewing romantic jealousy as immature and worthy of mockery. See, if a character has insecurities and is in a poly relationship, that must mean they aren't actually poly, not that they need reassuring. When a character in a monogamous relationship has doubts, that just means they need comforting, but when they're in a polyamorous relationship, well, that just means they can't truly enjoy poly!

I don't know, I just find it really fascinating that the arguments against the characters who are poly or open to poly "really" being poly are all the exact same argument applied uniformally to the characters regardless of whether that actually fits their backstories and behaviors during the scenes where it's discussed. It's like poly makes people uncomfortable, but they aren't willing to reckon with their favorite romanceable character(s) having such drastically different values around relationships, so the only way out is to insist they don't actually like it/are incapable of consenting. It's as fascinating as it is frustrating, really.

[pr0cyon-lotor]

Something reawakened my Alien Stage obsession! Have some modern AU headcanons/brainrot™ :D

(The alien keepers are just their parents or something)

General rambles

Till is a god in the kitchen. Mizi can only bake b/c she has set instructions, but can tweak the recipe if she needs to. Sua can't cook/doesn't know how to. Ivan burned something and isn't allowed in it again. LUKA IS NOT ALLOWED IN THE FUCKING KITCHEN OH MY GOD DON'T LET HIM COOK THEY HAD TO CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT LAST TIME. Hyuna can't cook for shit w/o proper instructions. Her ass cannot improvise in the kitchen.

Sus and Ivan are siblings (twins if you will) and absolutely terrible to each other (like normal siblings). They could be sitting together and suddenly Sua kicks him off the couch and puts her feet up. Or Ivan throw something at the back of her head unprompted. They are literally the most chill people in the group, until they're in each other's arms length. Then, they might as well be wild cats fighting over a piece of fish

Mizi and Till are childhood friends and talk shit together

Till knows how to apply makeup (both on himself and others) b/c Mizi would test out things on him.

Almost everyone is a cat person. Except for Sua, who is neutral, and Mizi, who likes dogs more.

Mizisua rambles

Neither of them are the warm hands to the other's cold hands. They sleep with a lot of blankets and a heater on

Mizi doesn't know how to braid hair. Sua barely knows how to braid hair. They were so used to their parents/servants doing their hair for them that they don't know how to do anything fancy. But Sua did learn how to braid hair for Mizi.

Sua was/is a rich kid. And she's SUPER irresponsible with money when it comes to Mizi. "You want this dress? Sure. Don't look at the price tag, you liked it so you're getting it."

They're both clingy if the other has to leave for an extended period of time.

Mizi likes climbing up places and napping. And Sua got really good at hide and seek.

They don't have separate wardrobes b/c both of them stole each other's clothes so often they lost track what was originally theirs or the other's.

Ivantill rambles

Till is cold constantly. Ivan is a walking heater. My point is they hold hands and cuddle.

Ivan definitely turls a piece of his hair, while kicking his feet and giggling when he's calling Till. At this point Till is unfazed by it

Ivan calls Till "my star" "my universe" or any other space related petname. (l accidentally predicted that in an old post oops) Till refuses to call him any pet name b/c he'd die of embarrassment

They also steal each other's clothes, but they can tell who's is who's b/c they both have very distinct styles

Till fumbled the bag with Mizi so bad he accidentally fell into lvan's arms and I think that's a funny concept

Have we ever considered that Till might be just as cringe with lvan as he is with Mizi once he starts catching feelings. Like it's possible. Till can just be cringe with the people he likes. Probably not as bad with lvan, but even a fraction would make me happy.

Hyuluka rambles

Luka is shockingly needy and clingy. He would prefer to get dragged through the mud than let go of Hyuna. Hyuna finds it endearing and worrying

There's a lot of heels and dresses in their home. None of them are Hyuna's

Luka is the type that NEEDS TO LOOK GOOD AT THE HOSPITAL! What if the doctors thinks he's not hot enough 🥺 Hyuna has to drag him to the hospital b/c he's fixing his eyeliner. And no you can't just put a little bit of blush on, your bone is stabbing through your calf

Hyuna's love language is acts of service and food sharing. Luka's is being a little shit and physical touch

[irasamu]

 . . . (🍷) ֶָ֢ 𔓘 MISTER LOVER ; a gojo satoru drabble. ❞

˗ˏˋ ꒰ 🍷 ꒱ . . . i love talking about gojo to people and explaining them with hand gestures includes on how i would suck him off. hope the users who read this drabble before could find it again!

˗ˏˋ ꒰ 🍷 ꒱ . . . tw; ceo!gojo, husband!gojo, fem!reader, wife!reader, fluff, sfw, gojo is insecure, fluff, reader is a few years younger then gojo, just gojo being whipped, and yeah that sums it up ig.

CEO!Gojo who goes on a jog every morning instead of using a treadmill just because he likes seeing the three neighborhood kids (namely yuji, megumi and nobara) watch him with sparkly eyes and admiration.

CEO!Gojo who stops at the nearby park to catch his breath as he sits on one of the benches, sweat glistening under the soft daylight and allows the jolly little yuji and nobara, accompanied by a shy megumi to waddle towards him with towels (which are just napkins yuji owns).

CEO!Gojo who raises his hand to stop his guards from approaching him as he let's the three three-year olds to wipe his sweat as if he is the kid. he only smiles fondly as little yuji climbs onto his lap to wipe the sweat on his forehead away but the white haired man is too tall for the little boy and so, gojo ends up leaning down. giggling softly as yuji pats his face with the towel using the softest touch he had.

CEO!Gojo who stops at a flower shop on his way home to buy you a bouquet of flowers -- classic white roses just because he thinks it'll remind you of him -- it does and does he know how you smile like a teenager everytime you look at the flowers? he does. after all, your husband is the literal definition of 'looks dumb but is smart'.

CEO!Gojo who could probably jog twice again but somehow, the moment he sets foot inside the rich apartment, he is a whining mess as he loudly complains how sore he feels or how his legs pain -- all for the sole purpose of having your hands on his thighs or shoulders, sinking into the feeling of your knuckles kneading onto his firm shoulders or your fingers caressing and applying pressure on his thighs to relieve him of some pain at least.

CEO!Gojo who is really arrogant and profession during interviews and conferences but whenever someone mentions you, his beloved wife, gojo throws out any sign of arrogance out of his head as he leans forward on his chair, beaming brightly as he talks about you with so much admiration because unknown to all who admire the confident man, satoru gojo is the most insecure man.

CEO!Gojo who doesn't like the way he smiles or how his body is and so he sticks to smirking that devilish hot smirk of his and training to have a ripped body but this same man whose eyes are shielded with a layer of fear of seeing his ugly, true self, is also the man who has won over thousands of hearts -- including your's but what makes you different is, your heart is still at his mercy even after you saw him at his lowest, you saw him breaking down simply because he couldn't calculate the statics of his next deal. whenever gojo thinks about all these, he is at awe for he never thought a beautiful yet hollow vase like him could be filled with the flowers of love and joy all because you, his water, his pillar, entered the vase of him.

and so, even if you may not know the real reason behind the flowers everyday, satoru gojo will continue to smile in secret as he sees you admire the flowers because this is the same way he admires when he stares at you face as you kneel down infront of his crouching form to wipe his tears away, how you consult and softly scold him like a mother even though you a few years younger then him.

CEO!Gojo who throws himself at you -- no really, he literally throws himself at you whenever he comes back to the shared apartment he gew accustomed to call home for the past two years after your marriage with him, the bubbly and joyful evil giggle that escapes the chambers of his soft lips are the spell which makes you smile and suddenly, the weight of the tall man as he nearly has you leaning on the kitchen counter because of his weight, is bearable.

CEO!Gojo who would ramble about the three cute kids who he goes for on a jog around the area daily before he expresses his wish to be a good father to his own kid one day. he turns to face you with a soft and wise smile, patting your cheek with the back of his palm as he speaks, "i would love to have a child with you in the distant future but that would mean i won't be able to have sex whenever I want." he would then shrug as you wheeze at his randomness.

CEO!Gojo who is really random and will always take you by surprise because how is this man calculating complex data of the different products and estimating their profit and loss mentally one minute and then asking you what is 6×7 the next??

CEO!Gojo who is smart yet dumb at the same time now that we are on the topic. he will calmly handle critics and insults thrown his way as well as degrading news articles when a project or deal doesn't go as it was expected to but the moment someone does or something goes wrong in a game, may lord have mercy on you because satoru will not. the creativeness he has when it comes to profanities shouldn't have been surprising to you considering how his tongue has always been but it still does.

"we lost because of me? No, we lost because your mother forgot the concept of birth pills and your father forgot that condoms existed. What? I am being dumn right now? No man, your mother was acting dumb when she didn't throw you off the car after the delivery"

"Man you look so pathetic that even a beggar would feel sympathy for you and give you a few dimes out of pity" gojo clicks his tongue.

"satoru!" you softly gasp, glaring at your husband who innocently shrugs.

"baby tell me, i dare you to tell me that he doesn't look as if he is expecting to deliver an eighty year old man who has seen all the horrors and developments of the world, i dare you. he can step out and people would be fooled into thinking it's halloween now."

the randomness of satoru is something you will always cherish because only he is capable of speaking absolute nonsense during a normal morning.

"don't move 'toru, i'm trying to comb your hair." you mumble lowly, brushing the comb against his white hair as he lets you, knowing how this small action brings you joy. if being treated and pampered like a child makes you happy, satoru will happily obey.

"baby my sunglasses makes me look good, yeah?" he asks, looking down at his cherished and signature sunglasses which completes his everyday look. you hum in agreement and this is when satoru jokes in a serious tone,

"not only does it make me look good but it helps to hide my bedroom eyes whenever i see my reflection in one of the glass windows." satoru shrugs as if he just told you about the weather while you stop your movements, blinking as you process his words before glancing down at him with wonder and amusement as satoru doesn't seem to realise or find anything strange in his statement.

CEO!Gojo who would giggle like a kid as he watches you open the small present he got you -- inside of a velvet black box and topped off with a red rose by its side -- and presents a condition after seeing you smile at him ; you look down at the newest shade of the huda beauty lipstick you were looking at just this morning.

CEO!Gojo who would then lay on your lap as he looks up at you and says "come on preety baby, apply the lipstick and kiss me already. wanna be your canvas today."

CEO!Gojo who makes you test if your lipsticks are smudge proof by making you kiss his entire face and neck, all just because he like the ticklish feeling of your lips on his skin or the flutter in his heart whenever your lips touch the skin of his neck or when you suck on his adam's apple.

━━━━━━━ 🎀 end.

[ofallthingsnasty]

Cowboy croco?? 👀👀

Omg imagine him trying to wife up a cute fat darling 🙏🙏 hot

The thing is, to me he's either some ultra slimy, wicked business type who exploits people ruthlessly and gets them with debts/gag contracts or he's a Dutch Van der Linde (rdr2) guy with his own little group of outlaws (and has his fingers in pots the others do not know about...) - or maybe more like Colm O'Driscoll, but I digress...

Oh, but him having a little crisis - he is cunning and strong, has money and smarts and loyal men and all that, but he also can tell that he's in his mid-40s now. People in that line of 'work' (people in general, back then) aged worse - and I don't mean aesthetically, I mean physically. For all he knows, it's entirely possible for him to be dead this time next year; and he can feel the phantom pain in his lost hand whenever the weather changes more and more with every passing winter. 20 years ago, that quick way of living, that uncertainty didn't bother him at all, no, it added to the thrill of everything. That was the spice his 20s and 30s were made of - when the world was his oyster and the next big thing right around the corner. But now? He's richer than before, more crafty; he knows people and how they work, knows so much yet feels so empty... Going out in a blaze of glory would have been appealing just ten years ago, now it feels shallow and vain. It's not that he wants to settle down either, it's just-

Something is missing. Between almost 30 years on the road, the street, in the wilderness, the reeking towns and cramped cities and him lying and cheating and gunning his way through it all, he has been nothing but made of red-hot iron and fury. Suddenly he's more mellow; his evil oozes more than it spurts and he feels himself longing for something - someone. Someone to apply his little ointments for him, someone who cooks for him, someone who is a base for him whenever he returns from his exploits and so much more. He suddenly finds himself yearning for the comforts a wife provides, those little joys and genuine warmth money can't buy. It's strange, really. Utterly strange and out of character for a man like him. But age turns the best of them into sentimental fools and he doesn't seem to be an exception. He finds himself conjuring up someone in his mind whenever he lords over his whiskey or stares at the moon with a cigarette in hand; how nice just another presence would be, how he could afford a wife, how having someone to adore him might be more tempting than cold metal and gems in his hand. He could have both, he reasons, and experience a sliver of peace his life has never given him so far. He has heard many old men lament the loss of a woman; decades shared toiling together, building together - it never bothered him one bit before; now he wants what he can't have.

So when he spots you - widowed, all out on your own and desperate for money, fat with luxuries your dead husband could provide for you but that are now sorely missing, he sees an opportunity; someone to take advantage of. You're perfect, just made for him: desperate, soft and sweet, with years of homemaking and pleasing underneath your belt. Oh, he'll blind you. Deceive you with a front of charm and expensive clothes, with the promises of a home of your own and food on the table. You'll buy his lies hook, line and sinker - won't question him when he evades your inquiries about his work, won't even have the time to think about just where his rings come from when every day on your own just gets harder and harder because your money is running out. You've got a sweet face; the body of a fat little wife and are worn down enough by misfortune that you cling to him like a drowning cat. You'll only see that you married the devil himself after it's all said and done; that you've been dragged into the life of a horrible criminal who'll leave you widowed again - and with the wolves to come once he's been shot like a fucking dog, someday soon.

[gffa]

10, 13, 14 for DC? My answers are pit madness, Tim Drake or Jason Todd, and Cass using ASL. I’m curious to hear your hot takes lol

10. worst part of fanon Ohhhhh, how do I choose. I oscillate a lot with various ones, but my current least favorite fanon thing is the hyersexualizing/objectification of Dick Grayson. A lot of fandom is really, really good about not doing this! But the focus on his ass as a selling point of the character is not suddenly great and wonderful just because we're doing it to a man now instead of a woman. The character himself is not overtly sexualizing--he's flirty (but how much of that is just that he's friendly and charming?) and he clearly likes sex, but he does so in the context of genuine relationships, and neither he nor the other characters really focus on his body parts, and I'm not super comfortable when fandom does it. (To be fair, I think we need to unpack the way women are treated in comics waaaaaay more than we need to focus on Dick's character's treatment, but also I just don't think I'll ever be onboard with it, either.) 13. worst blorboficiation YOU ARE GOING TO GET ME IN TROUBLE but it absolutely is Tim. And I'm not entirely opposed, in the sense that my Blorboifcation is my jam when I'm doing it, you know? So why shouldn't the exact same thing apply to other characters? Let them Blorboize their Blorbos to their hearts content! But I do find myself sliding right off a lot of Tim fic that doesn't let him be a horrible little gremlin man who is just as obnoxious and stubborn as the rest of his family, who is capable of making mistakes or doing some really fucked up things because he knows they're necessary. Tim is allowed to go through rough patches and not come out having handled them perfectly, he is allowed to push people away, to be unfair to people, to have his entire world upended and be less than perfect, while still being sympathetic because baby boy was Going Through It and needs more love. There's a lot of fic that I've read that has great Blorboification of Tim, I am so down for exploring his issues with self-worth, I've just also seen it go overboard a lot in a way that's not for me. (And they would probably say the exact same thing about my Blorboification and they'd probably be equally right! 😂) 14. that one thing you see in fics all the time Sooooo many fanon nicknames! And that's not necessarily a bad thing, many of them are ones that I enjoy (I will fight anyone who tries to take away "baby bat", SHUT UP, I LOVE THAT ONE), I just kind of want to side-eye people sometimes and check, "We all know we're making this up and it's not really how the comics characters usually talk to each other, right?" before we get right back to using them anyway because they're fun.

[silverynight]

Comfort omega

<---Previous

Chapter 2

The next day he's back at the office, he does all the paperwork for his last assignment trying not to think too much about Bakugo. Which is contradicting because he's the last alpha he helped calm down yesterday.

Izuku sighs, sitting in front of his computer as he hears his fellow comfort omegas walking around the office. He likes his job, although he still thinks about applying for a position in Hatsume's company; he's always liked to design and make hero suits, he has a couple of ideas already for the pro heroes working at the moment, but he's not sure if his ideas are good enough.

He likes what he does now, because this way, even though he doesn't have a quirk, he can still help people. However, Izuku has never thought about this job as a permanent one due to the fact that it requires the omegas to stay unmated.

It makes sense; the alphas who have snapped or have been consumed by their instincts are very unstable, they wouldn't react very well if they saw a permanent mark or smelled another alpha all over the omega who's trying to comfort them. In the best case scenario, they just completely reject the omega, in the worst they become violent and possessive.

Izuku doesn't want to mate just yet, he hasn't met anyone he wants to spend the rest of his life with, but he's sure he wants to do that eventually. He wants to have a couple of pups as well.

"Good morning!" An omega girl says, smiling happily as she leans over his desk.

She's been working there longer than he has.

"Morning! Are you going out on an assignment today?"

"In a couple of minutes, although there's nothing to worry about, just a couple of nervous alphas. They said it's just a robbery."

Another one. They've been having a lot of those lately.

"Who are the pro heroes?" Izuku asks, curious.

"We still don't know until we get there, Aoyama is coming with me as well!"

Aoyama is a really good comfort omega, he's also a very good friend of Izuku's, they understand each other better than anyone else because they're the only quirkless ones.

"That's not why she's here though, mon ami," Aoyama pops up from behind the girl and pushes her aside to hug the green haired omega and nuzzle against his cheek.

Izuku chuckles, before moving away to see his friend better.

"What is it then?"

"Everyone is talking about your latest assignment. Is it true you got to comfort Dynamight?" She asks, already excited.

"Uhh... Yes, I did," he mumbles, deciding that it's better if no one finds out that the alpha was his childhood friend and bully at some point.

"He didn't hurt you, did he?" She asks, excitement vanishing for a moment to be replaced with concern. Aoyama looks worried too.

"No, of course not!" Izuku says immediately, trying to fight his irritation, he's not sure why it bothers him so much the fact that they believe Bakugo could do something like that. "I know everyone says he's aggressive and maybe he is a bit when he's around villains, but he's not bad like some of people claim he is. He's... He was very kind to me."

"Oh, no! That's worse!" The omega girl says, confusing Izuku for a moment. "I mean I could deal with him being an ass... But him being good and hot is too much for me!"

Both Izuku and Aoyama chuckle at that.

"I hope I get to comfort him next!"

"You shouldn't do that, if you're planning to be serious about him," Izuku finds himself saying suddenly, there's something that makes him feel a little bit sad about the thought, but he pushes those weird feelings aside quickly. "You know we can't get attached to the alphas we're–"

"Pff!" The omega rolls her eyes. "You know that rule has been broken so many times! A couple of omegas have met their perfect matches working here!"

Yes, and some omegas have gotten their hearts broken as well, but Izuku decides not to say that out loud.

"Just be careful..."

"Don't worry about me, Midoriya!" She says before Aoyama pulls her towards the entrance.

"Come on, we need to go," he says before grinning back at Izuku and adding: "I'll see you tonight!"

The green haired omega nods, before turning towards his computer again; Izuku had forgotten for a moment that every week Aoyama and he stay in his house to watch a couple of movies together.

***

Just a couple of hours later, he gets another assignment; there are a few tense pro heroes who just captured three villains trying to kidnap a group of teenage girls.

Sometimes it's not what happens during the battle what affects an alpha, but the suffering of the victims.

Fortunately, Izuku gets enough information from the paramedics to figure out the girls are mostly fine, although they're still nervous and scared. He really hopes they get reunited with their families soon.

"You're a comfort omega, right?"

Izuku turns around and immediately recognizes Red Riot; the omega enjoys reading about pro heroes and knows a couple (maybe a lot) of things about them. He blinks a couple of times, reminding himself he's not there as a fan... He's doing his job.

"Yes," he nods, noticing the sour scent coming from the pro hero. He's obviously sad. "Is it okay if I touch you?"

Instead of a reply, Red Riot spreads his arms and Izuku jumps into the embrace. He makes sure to release a calming scent.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I prefer not to," the alpha mumbles, looking like he doesn't want to disappoint him.

"It's alright!" Izuku assures him, nuzzling against his cheek; he's glad the alpha is not using his quirk at the moment.

"I can't believe you got yourself the prettiest one, Kirishima!" Pinky rushes towards them, alpha scent getting stronger with every step she takes. "I want him to hug me too!"

She's another pro hero Izuku is a fan of, but he must remain professional so he decides to help her find another omega because he can tell she's tense as well.

"Come here, Ashido!" Red Riot grins, before Izuku can say or do anything. "I don't mind!"

Usually it's not good to comfort two alphas at the same time, especially ones who have gone through a difficult situation, because most alphas are possessive and jealous, even if part of them are aware the omega who's helping them doesn't belong to them.

However, these two seem to be more than okay with sharing, as Izuku finds out a second later when Pinky hugs them both. Suddenly, the omega is trapped in between two alphas who are nuzzling against his cheeks.

"You're the cutest thing I've ever seen!" Pinky mumbles happily against him.

"Thanks," Izuku says, feeling a little bit flustered. When he notices they're feeling better, he starts moving away. "I think we should go now. The paramedics might want to check on you."

They're really nice, Izuku likes them.

***

Both Eijiro and Ashido go back to the agency, feeling way better already. The omega is really good at what he does.

"We should've asked him for his number," Ashido tells him. "I can tell we'd become friends in no time. Maybe we can introduce him to Blasty so he's not grumpy anymore..."

Eijiro tries not to grin at her, he knows exactly what his friend is thinking.

"I believe comfort omegas are not allowed to mate..."

"That's not fair!" Ashido pouts. "Listen, I have a natural matchmaker talent and I can assure you he's the perfect omega for Blasty."

"I wouldn't want to expose that cinnamon roll to Bakugo's temper, that wouldn't be manly at all..."

"I bet Blasty would melt as soon as he saw him. He'd be really soft to him–"

"I'm not sure about that... However, we can't do anything because those omegas can't mate."

Eijiro tries to ignore Ashido's pout and instead focuses on the familiar sound of someone stomping their way towards the break room.

It could only be one person.

Bakugo walks in, looking particularly upset; Eijiro is sure something happened to him a couple of days ago because he's been a little bit grumpier lately.

Suddenly, his head snaps towards Ashido and him before he bares his teeth at them, they hear a growl and suddenly the prime alpha is right in front of them.

"You smell like spring, like endless spring," he snarls, startling them.

"Hey, calm down Blasty! This is not the way to treat your friends!" Ashido narrows her eyes, trying not to growl back at him because it'd make it worse.

The other pro heroes around have started to get tense.

"You mean the omega?" Eijiro blurts out. He knows he still has the scent all over him.

Bakugo gets angrier at that, he's losing control...

"Why do you smell like my Izuku?"

"You mean the comfort omega? Do you know him?"

It seems those two questions were everything Bakugo needed to be himself again. He blinks a couple of times at Ashido, but doesn't give her an answer.

"I'm... sorry," the blond alpha mumbles, looking down. Eijiro knows how difficult is for him to apologize, but he's glad he's making an effort.

"Who's Izuku?"

When Bakugo softens at the mention of the name, Ashido gapes at him, almost in shock.

"The omega you mention... Is he cute, with green hair and emerald eyes?"

Eijiro tries not to smile when his friend uses the word "cute" to describe the omega. He's tempted, but he knows that's not the time to tease his friend about it.

"Yes, the cutest thing ever!" Ashido says, prompting Bakugo to growl again... Oh, he's jealous.

"His name is Midoriya Izuku... He's... He was my childhood friend," Bakugo says, looking at the ground. "Do you have his number? Do you know how I can find him?"

Eijiro shakes his head.

"Have you tried calling the company to get his number?" Ashido asks.

"Yeah... But they won't give it to me... Something about company rules to keep their employees safe," the alpha huffs, looking irritated. "I just want to see him again. I need to make it up to him."

"What are you talking about, Blasty?"

Bakugo takes a deep breath before looking at Ashido, whatever it is he wants to say is obviously bothering him. He looks full of regret for a moment.

"I bullied him when we were in middle school."

Oh. Eijiro understands better now or at least he hopes he does. Although he has the feeling there's another reason why Bakugo wants to see Midoriya again, judging by the way he reacted to smelling the omega's scent on them.

He looks at Ashido and they both silently agree to help their friend find the omega.

***

Next--->

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[infernaleikon]

1/? Okay but that line “I would never fall for you” applied to obikin Is so so delicious. Idk, some au where anakin grows up resenting obiwan for some reason. Maybe some sort of misunderstanding that never gets resolved & anakin just holds onto that grudge. But over time his reason for hating Obi-wan gets weaker & weaker until at some point he realizes he doesn’t actually hate him & it’s just a matter of pride at this point/he’s made a point of being enemies with him for so long he doesn’t know

2/? how to stop without embarrassing himself. Anyway maybe on a night out with a mutual group of friends anakin finds himself involved in a debate about the type of person he’d fall in love with & Obi-wan makes a joke about how anakin just described him & that’s anakin’s response! Except as he says it he realizes he’s actually fucked up and gone and fallen in love with Obi-wan but Obi-wan thinks anakin HATEs him and yeah. Just love Obi-wan being his charming flirty self versus anakin having to 3/3 pretend he isn’t affected by Obi-wan’s charm & handsomeness. Fond, teasing Obi-wan meets pouty, sullen anakin who always has to act aloof in his presence

oooooohohohoho i love this!!

this makes more sense to me in a modern au tbh so i was thinking that they're neighbours or obi-wan is a family friend or they've known each other otherwise for a long time. and when teenage anakin finds out that obi-wan is quite popular with people, he just sort of scrunches his nose and very confidently in his teenaged arrogance tells him that he would never fall for him. obi-wan barely even snorts because it's not like some bratty teens opinion on that matters much to him and plus, he pities the person who will possibly, some way down the line, fall in love with anakin who is whiny, arrogant and awkward on a good day.

cue several years down the line, anakin is now in his twenties, he's matured (a bit skskks) and he's a catch, thank you, regardless of what obi-wan other people say. it's only a bit unfortunate that he's developed a huge crush on obi-wan between then and now. obi-wan's gone on to become a professor at the college anakin's ended up studying at and anakin had taken a class or two of his. and well, the first one of obi-wan's classes was a mandated one and anakin had grumped and bitched about it all the way until the first session (which is when he found that it's not actually terrible and that obi-wan is very easy to listen to). and over the span of the semester, something had sparked in him, something had shifted, something felt different but anakin being anakin refused to even consider that obi-wan could be hot.

except, well, they do see each other outside of class regularly as well. and because anakin befriends aayla who is friends with/being mentored by quinlan who is friends with obi-wan, anakin ends up seeing him even more than before. and it's then that anakin sees obi-wan flirting with other people, being charming, being, well, obi-wan.

it's not just a crush, of course. and over the course of anakin's undergrad, he gets closer to obi-wan in new ways. obi-wan helps him when anakin is frustrated with his studies or struggles finding friends or needs a few kind words and encouragement or stresses about something that he thinks he can't talk with anyone else about. and, he realizes, it's not even that obi-wan is suddenly different than before. he's kind and patient, he offers advice and support, but he doesn't coddle. he's firm and straightforward and never lets anakin stew in his self-pity.

and then anakin makes the mistake of taking an elective class with obi-wan. anakin doesn't pay much attention to it's course content, he just wants to be in another one of obi-wan's classes and wants to sit and listen to him teach, moon over him, and just watch him being passionate and competent and obi-wan. except the class turns out to be something about sex and eroticism in poetry or something, so anakin has to sit through a whole semester listening to obi-wan talk (and read) about that. it awakens one thing or two in anakin. he hands in his final paper beet red. obi-wan smirks only a little.

anyway, yeah, they're out one night and they somehow get to arguing about what type of person each of them would fall for, and when anakin argues his own case, obi-wan snorts a little and quinlan howls with laughter and imitates arrows pointing at obi-wan being like, hi hey that's this guy. but anakin has his pride, okay, and he remembers that conversation from years ago and how obi-wan had been so unimpressed. he's convinced obi-wan would laugh in his face if he knew about anakin's feelings. but that's beside the point. anakin has his pride. so, he, again, stupidly, says "i wouldn't fall for you" except he already did and obi-wan smiles wryly and answers, "yes, so you've said"

MEANWHILE obi-wan is working through massive amounts of guilt over falling in love with this loud-mouthed brat that used to irritate him to no end (and still does, even) and that he watched grow up. and he has his pride, too, a little. (it's mostly the guilt tho.) but he can't admit that he's pathetically fallen in love with this bright eyed kid when not that long ago he felt pity towards whoever would develop feelings for anakin skywalker. joke's definitely on him. and then anakin just goes and describes obi-wan as his ideal partner but reiterates that of course it's not obi-wan.

but then they eventually get around to who would be the type of person obi-wan would fall for. quinlan is smirking like a shark, and well, obi-wan realizes he does seem to have a type and that type being contrary, argumentative, bratty, insufferable, keeping him on his toes and occasionally giving him headaches but passionate, loyal, ingenious and earnest. he lists those attributes and shrugs, joking about how he's had partners like this and he values these traits but yet he couldn't make any of the relationships work. and quinlan quips lightly how there's one person right in front of him who he hasn't tried with. obi-wan doesn't kick him in the shin and he doesn't flee, exactly, but he does decide to leave then and orders quinlan that one obscenely expensive and equally disgusting drink that they serve at the bar before before he does.

anakin just sort of scowls through the whole thing, blinking, watching obi-wan avoid his eyes and ducking out of the booth, while something in his own head blinks red lights at him. and he sits with it for a little, feeling like he missed part of that conversation, and it isn't until he's on his way home with aayla that a persistent, giddy, hopeful part of him breaks through and urges him to go see obi-wan and find out what that was all about.

when obi-wan opens his door, there's a strange look on his face; a weird mix of surprise, hope and defensiveness, maybe, something wary and tired and yearning.

but instead of asking, what does it mean, or any of the other things anakin had come to ask about, he rushes in and kisses obi-wan. and for a split second, nothing happens and his anxiety is just about to ratchet up, when obi-wan grips him and kisses back. the surge of relief and joy is huge.

between kisses anakin tells him, "i would fall for you. i did," and punctuates it by pressing closer still, kissing obi-wan eagerly, sloppily, full of enthusiasm and pent up horniness, and obi-wan groans and kisses him back deeper, biting and nipping, losing himself in the intoxicating feeling of having anakin in his arms.

but then anakin pulls back and asks, "did you...did you, too?" and he looks so bashful despite the spit slick, swollen lips. obi-wan wants to eat him, so he dives back in but anakin leans back, blinking huge eyes at him, and there's a subtle smirk on his face.

"yes, i did," obi-wan says, fondly, so affection, but he can't help the eye roll, "you insufferable brat."

and anakin's smirk grows wider. "so you've said," he says before pulling obi-wan back in for more kisses.

[leadendeath]

i don't want to reblog the post because my commentary is not relevant to the subject, so i didn't want to put this in said post's tags. also as i type it turned into a long...? something. vent maybe? i don't even know what to refer to it as. but i've seen a couple of posts recently that have really got me thinking.

as i'm writing this, they both just appeared on my dash. they are this one and this one. i'm definitely going to post this now (i have to) and not just save it in my drafts forever.

Having sex with friends sounds nice! I am pro-that! (pro meaning not anti) for me it would alleviate my fears of hooking up with those I just met or haven't known for years because friends are less likely to murder/kidnap you or give you a disease! (I do not want to die from sex lmao) the con: now they know what i look like and what bodily/physical problems i have that aren't visible to the general public. no. i can't have sex with my friends. my god. it all boils down to my body dysmorphia. literally the mortifying ordeal of it being known

So I think again, like I often do, about my place on the ace spectrum. I usually do not care for labels, don't find them necessary to apply to myself, but it's totally cool if other people have tons of different labels that they use. I am pro-that too! I myself am definitely grey-ace or demi-something. I landed on aegosexual- a disconnect between yourself and your sexual attraction- for a long time. I am never sexually or romantically attracted to somebody I don't know. Not even people on the screen. What if that hot (definition for this context: visually appealing) actor is a dick? Good looks garbage personality? At least you can do research on him. Not the case with "irl contacts" (definition: non-famous and real people who you might actually meet or know in person).

I know that I definitely experience sexual attraction, and want to have sex. Based on that I don't feel quite right calling myself asexual.

I don't LIKE that I feel too bad about experiencing sexual attraction to act on it. There's this weird feeling that's hard to place, but closest to "guilt", I'd say. Disgust with myself.

That time I was propositioned to go back to a con hotel (i turned him down and he listened and respected me and was nice, it's just i stopped myself), or that other time when making out and groping (different guy different occasion; we could've gone further but i stopped myself), or even just flirting and talking about our turn-ons and things we Like with my long-distance online sort-of bf that I had. I'm even hesitating to follow the "after dark" art accounts that I want to follow on bird site because of the guilt and almost embarassment I feel at myself (I'm fully aware that the only reason most people have locked accounts which you have to request to follow is to keep out minors and trolls btw, and i'm certainly neither of those!).

All of this is stuff I want and that's enjoyable to me, but this nagging "don't do that. you're gross. why would you say/do that? you're being weird. stop. stop. stop. you're not allowed to do these things." is always there in my mind. I don't want it to be there, and it's always there.

Now, this doesn't come from religious trauma, like "sex before marriage = wrong and bad"? "gay sex = ultimate evil"? Nah, I was never told those things. I didn't even have a very religious upbringing. These thoughts can't be explained away by any of that. Even my mom has always been like "you can have a girlfriend or a boyfriend! i don't mind as long as you're happy! :)" yknow having that nice accepting approach to that time when I was like 15 and settled on bi for "what i was" at the time. No judgement, no condemnation there either.

It's not real.

When I learned that I have ocd, suddenly I started to maybe have an explanation for these thoughts. Some people's obsessions focus on repetition or contamination. A good part of my obsessions focus on condemnation. I'm scared of it. I take "beating yourself up over something" to the next level. Just like any other person who's familiar with delusions, intrusive thoughts, etc will tell you: knowing it's not real doesn't make it any better. Doesn't make it stop. Doesn't make it go away.

When I could explain this detrimental thought process away by finding this horrible disorder to pin the blame on, I felt freer. I've thought many times throughout my mentally ill life about bringing up my (questioning)asexuality to a therapist one day, and I still will, even more so now. i felt before like I'd bring it up to them and not be able to back it up with any evidence, and just be brushed off? That's a stupid way to think, I know. And a therapist who would really do that is one you'd leave immediately. You don't need evidence to talk about how you feel, that's so silly... but that thought itself comes back around, in a vicious cycle, to my needing to justify myself because otherwise I am Wrong And Bad. jeez. what a way to think. i hate that. will be so glad when i get it under control after 25+ years.

edit: oh ya there's also this. my tags on one of the above posts i never reblogged, sat in my drafts.

my disability is inseparable from my sexuality, whatever it is.

[gaykamenriderdreams]

oouugh oog I'm emotional about Kamen Rider X episode 25

It's a bit of an odd one- there's a blueprint that's been ripped into pieces, and EVERYONE wants it. And one of the people entrusted with a piece is Dr. Doumoto! Who is a scientist in the same sort of way that Jin Keisuke's dad is a scientist (DEROGATORY).

He destroys his piece... but not before making a copy. Which he burned onto the backs of two kids when they were unconscious. OOF.

Some kidnappings and rescuing later, we end up back at Tachibana's coffeeshop.

And oh yeah, WAIT, those kids aren't out of hot water yet, they still have the marks! They're still targets! Will be for the rest of their lives! After all, what's happened is something that no one can undo, right? Dr. Doumoto sure talks about it like it's irreversible- he even refers to the marks as "a tattoo".

An aside for Historical Context: Laser tattoo removal research started making headway with Leon Goldman in 1960: but until around the 1980's, the techniques available would still cause significant scarring in the affected areas. In the 1974 world of Kamen Rider X... it's just not an option.

BUT WHAT'S THIS?

Jin Keisuke has a solution!! To cure the damage from one laser with another, different laser! THE FUTURE IS NOW (1974)

We cut back to Dr. Doumoto's lab (where Keisuke is blocked to stand on the opposite side of the equipment as Dr. Doumoto did when he applied the marks, hmm hmm HMMM) to find that he's not just found a way to help them, he's done it! It's all good now!

I just. How did Keisuke know how to do this. How did he know about these "Sigma Rays". How did he know they could do that to the marks left by Alpha rays, and more specifically, the marks left by Alpha rays on human skin.

The only answer I can think of is that he was paying attention when his Incredibly Shitty Dad, Jin Keitaro, forced him to help out around HIS Morally Questionable Cyborg Laboratory. And Keisuke finally found something he could use all that watching and listening FOR, to help these kids, in a way only his dad would have been able to.

(...Even if his dad wouldn't have wanted to).

And I just... after the machine's done fixing the damage, Keisuke just kinda. Awkwardly slaps 'em both on the back.

They're not asleep or anything he doesn't need to wake them up he just. Does it.

(It makes a big THWACK noise it's VERY funny.)

But I just can't help thinking. Does. Does Keisuke really know how to interact with kids?? What's his experience, historically? He tends to be almost nervously polite around them, and here, it's... I just...

So he's trying to comfort two kids. Who got knocked unconscious, and then had their bodies modified without their permission, or even their knowledge. Who had to be told later about what had been done to them, suddenly discover they'd been changed.

(Oh, that sounds kinda familiar, doesn't it. Hmm.)

Does he give them one sharp pat on the back because that's the warmest, most supportive thing he can think of to do?

... Is that the warmest, most supportive gesture that Keitaro ever gave him?

Keisuke seems so, so happy to give these kids the chance to undo what was done to them, to "rub out" the marks that were left, return their bodies to the way they used to be.

But... there's really no one that can do the same for him.

(And even if there was, would his dad really want to? Would he even bother to try?)

[leqclerc]

Oh god, all the "uwu, he's literally crying" ,"why are the stewards being so mean to him", "It was his fault, but Alonso got his place back so don't punish Carlos" comments under the clip of his outburst on team radio is insane. These people can't claim to be fans of a sport and then behave like this when the rules are applied

The thing is like, of course drivers say unfiltered stuff when they're in the heat of the moment and they're reacting very emotionally and all of that. The problem is that the same people (I'm willing to bet) who are passionately defending Carlos's plea campaign are also all too happy to slam Charles for showing any hint of emotion, claim he's too frazzled to be a proper team leader unlike the smooth operator jokester strategic master Carlos and so on. 😒 And also yeah, textbook collision = standard penalty for this sort of situation.

Also, I know what this ask isn't about that at all, but I just remembered a point I was going to make, so bear with me. On the topic of Alonso, I'm honestly finding the recency bias so frustrating. Suddenly everyone's firmly aboard the Alonso hype train, which, if you were always a fan of his all along then fine. But I've seen some hot takes already from the all-knowing ~F1 Youtubers (🙃) that are literally like "the only three drivers that deserve to be called generational talents are sitting in this room [i.e. Max, Lewis and Fernando.]" Like he wasn't putting Lando in his top 3 ranking just a few months ago 😭 Charles just?????? Doesn't exist I guess???? And George doesn't deserve to be mentioned either just because of today's result. Pretty sure these same people were calling Lewis washed and sending him off into imminent retirement until literally this weekend?????? Pick a struggle 🤨

[clover-46]

What about professional figure skater Avior? This has been cooking in my noggin for a hot minute.

Avior who absolutely hates the day after getting his blades sharpened because it's all so much easier to cut through the motions but he grew used to slowly applying more effort as the metal dulled. He would much rather just have a consistent immortal level of sharpness and stick at that, but since the world has forsaken him this request, he shall make do.

Avior who makes his own routines all by himself and practices them until it feels like his calves and ankles want to kill him. And then a bit more since walking through hell makes the other side seem so much better.

Avior who wishes he had his own private ice rink instead of having to share with other people. The only solution is going late at night.

So he does, and the best way to practice a routine is wearing that skin hugging fabric so you know what to expect when your costume comes in for competition. Avior pulling on gloves to protect against ice scrapes on his palms before stepping out onto the rink as the speaker starts on his playlist.

Avior's legs tensing as he prepares for a jump and thanks to the way the fabric hugs to his long legs, the muscles shifting is so wonderfully visible.

Avior closing his eyes as gravity falls away from him at the apex of his jump and he looks more at peace than he's ever been. Clapping and a soft cheer coming from the sidelines as he lands and almost trips from surprise, his eyes flinging open.

And there's a total stranger, bag slung over a shoulder, clapping with a grin on their face. And he's flustered, unused to praise outside of his coach or competitions. And he just wants to leave, but the stranger is dropping their bag and shoving on their own skates to come join him.

And he learns their name - Starlight - and learns that theyre part of his agency and the only reason he hasn't met them before is because they do partner routines while he sticks to singular. And now they're pleading with him to help them with a set, but Avior's already decided that he doesnt need anymore practice and they can do this on their own. Even if the whole point is doing it with someone else.

The following week, Aviors coach - Circinus, who else? - says that his rhythm is slightly off and the easiest way to re-find his rhythm is to work with someone. Avior cringing as Circinus calls over Starlight.

Avior standing still as Circinus tries to convince him to stop being stubborn and just go through with the routine. Avior finally, and begrudgingly, agreeing.

Its then that Avior learns that Starlight always has something to say, whether it be a question or a statement (that he never asked for a comment about for a topic, but they gave him one anyways)

Starlight explaining the routine before Avior hears Ne Me Quitte Pas by Jacques Brel play over the speakers. And suddenly he's nervous as the energy shifts.

Starlight skating towards him, each movement fluid and he's envious. They adjust so they have their back to his chest, expression matching the emotions of the song as their hand drifts gently down his face, caressing his skin.

It doesn't even matter that the AC is pumping to keep the rink cold, because his body is heating up. He's skated to romance songs before, but it's different this time.

His hands lingering on their shoulders, waist, and hips as he goes through the motions with them. He doesn't notice the gathering crowd of onlookers.

He isn't the only one affected either.

The song is stuck in his head for hours afterwards, as well as the feeling of Starlight's body drapes across his own.

And Starlight can't stop staring at their hands, brain replaying everywhere their hands touched him.

Neither are able to face each other at practice the next day.

- 🙊

JESUS THIS WAS AMAZING. THIS WHOLE PART IS MY FAVORITE

HOW DO THEY LIKE ALREADY HAVE CHEMISTRY WHEN THATS THEIR SECOND MEETING (cause avior and starlight are just the best). you probably have the most active imagination ever

@messenger-of-stupidity

[afternunh]

i love to see oc ask games BUT i hate putting yall on the spot so im literally going to just answer them all and ramble about my rabbit thank u so much for ur time

1. What's your oc's gender identity? What's their relationship to their gender?

cis-ish man. viera gender stuff is weird, he went by they/them growing up but is he/him only now. toxic masculinity does affect him a bit 😔

2. What's your oc's orientation? (Romantic/sexual/platonic alterous ect) Do they have opinions about it?

gay! he likes men only. probably did struggle with it a bit at first since he'd beat himself up about not following tradition but like he got over it, men hot. since realised he does Not want to parent so he doesn't have that guilt anymore!

he's also possibly demiromantic? but he doesn't see any need to unpack all that he can barely cope with his one crush

3. How did your oc discover themself? Did something cause them to question, or did they always know?

idk i think puberty just hit him and he was like oh okay this is what we're doing? sure. definitely kissed boys and thought it was nice but wasn't super into relationships as a whole so never pursued anything serious until recently

4. Is your oc's environment supportive about their identity? How does this impact them?

yeah he doesn't get any hassle about it. thought his parents would have concerns but they're like my guy we RAISED u we know what ur like it's fine

5. How did you figure out your oc's identity?

idk most of my ocs are bi but i was people watching and some catgirl tried to hit on him in-game and i could almost hear him like oh absolutely not

6. How does your oc feel about labels? Theirs, or in general?

they're useful for getting people to leave him alone. usually

7. Is there something that could cause your oc to question their identity? What?

i mean he'd sworn off romance bc he thought it just wasn't for him until SOMEONE came and turned his world upside down

8. Have they had struggles with their identity, be it due to internal or external reasons?

not really he's very comfortable in who he is and what he does

9. Are there cultural or lore specific aspects to their identity? If applicable, does their species affect it?

yes! viera children aren't afab or amab so they don't get a government assigned gender until puberty hits! he took his very seriously so he adheres to masculine standards as much as he can because it's part of his job

10. Does your oc celebrate Pride? How?

he definitely hasn't before and wouldn't choose to but he cannot say no to apollo, it's embarrassing

11. Is your oc open about their identity? Are they more lowkey or more blunt about it? Why or why not?

he's fine coming out if it comes up in conversation but he barely talks so sometimes he can know people for years until they find out when he suddenly starts kissing his charge in front of them--

12. Does/did your oc ever wish they could change the way they are? Why? If it's in the past, how did they get over the feeling? (this can be about internalized homo/transphobia)

nope! he is content as he is

13. Would your oc be open to a poly relationship? Why or why not?

it's not something he feels a need for - he's also so intense and does not have the energy to be that for more than one person! he also has a jealous streak that he bottles up so although he'd prefer to be possessive, if apollo came to him and asked he wouldn't shoot it down

the rest are more generic and don't apply to him specifically ayo!!

[galedekarios]

my villain origin story is going to be people suddenly finding gale charming and funny even though the only thing that has changed in patch 8 is his appearance

[triflesandparsnips]

So here's a theory I'm just going to toss into the pot to see how it changes the flavor of the soup--

Izzy Hands, current on-the-spot villain, sweating homophobia, and ruining everybody's lives in the pursuit of some kind of unattainable piratical perfection... what if.

What if Izzy is nonbinary.

(he/his, but gender is First Mate)

WHERE'S THIS COMING FROM? I'M SO GLAD YOU ASKED.

Let me first rewind a bit. (And if you need a refresher, may I interest you in this scene pack that was very enlightening.)

At the top of season 1, when we first get introduced to Izzy, he's a lot more, well, playful (in his Izzy way) before he and Stede became mortal fuckin enemies or whatever.

"We're just humble wanderers, passing through"

"Dibs, y'say?"

Figure 1. Legendary swordfighter cuts tit window in stranger's shirt for shits, giggles

He's, like, annoyed about following Stede on Ed's orders, but largely because Ed's poking him about it ("And he bested you at swordplay") and making him do stupid errands ("Oh, Edward, can't I just send the boys?") -- but he's still cool and vaguely flirty in the noncommittal way That All Pirates (Named Blackbeard) Do when he finds Stede at Spanish Jackie's.

Leaning against the wall, having a cool line to say as an intro ("I've a few colleagues in there")

Sauntering forward while providing non-relevant info that could, in fact, be interpreted as flattery if Stede had wanted to see it that way -- specifically, Izzy saying he fuckin hates Spanish Jackie's while also getting close to Stede, which could be read as 'but I came anyway to see you'

Figure 2. Walls: Are You Leaning Back Against Enough of Them? Meet the pirate who's vowed to pose against them all, probably while doing something interesting off-camera with his hips

At this point in the conversation, Izzy still has plenty of time to tell Stede who his boss is, that it is in fact Blackbeard who's looking for his attention, and Izzy could continue getting into Stede's personal space and subtly lean on things and talk shit about Jackie's... but then Stede calls him Iggy.

And that's when Izzy actually gets pissed off. From that point on, we're in Dread Enemy territory, because Izzy Hands has a thing about names and titles and identity -- as I've said in previous meta:

What he calls people, and in what context, has meaning to him, and I suspect what people call him has meaning that he may believe everyone else is aware of when, in fact, nobody fucking is.

(Izzy's pronouns are also fuck/off)

SO WHAT CHANGES

Izzy's whole fucking deal starts with Stede misnaming him. Stede, once again, is a catalyst for change -- Izzy hasn't had to deal with people being shit to him for years. I mean, even at his angriest in their actual stand-off just the episode before, he didn't have the sheer rage popping through that we get at Spanish Jackie's.

Figure 3. A tense annoyance transmogrified into annoyed acceptance (with aid of released breath and delicately applied pointy thing).

Figure 4. Overwhelming tension and coiled violence. Application of pointy thing unlikely to provide much assistance in this scenario.

Suddenly Izzy has to, like, deal with that. This is the start of things getting immeasurably messier in Izzy's previously tidy mindscape.

Because the thing. The thing is. The thing. Is that the SHEER NARRATIVE GLARE of Ed and Stede's romance makes it hard to see that Izzy Hands is, to be honest, spending season 1 here taking a trip on the Issues Express.

Prior to Stede fuckin Bonnet misnaming him, Izzy Hands is living a pretty okay life!

He appears to have regular duties, including light investigation into the new pirate everyone's talking about

Evidently has a reasonable enough relationship with the native population that he can casually buy English officers off of them

Has a standard for reporting to Ed that doesn't involve poking his fingies into candles and lying badly

Doesn't have shit to say about messy ships, what with the Hot Topic store that vomited over the deck of the Queen Anne with malice aforethought

With Stede poking at him, though... he's suddenly thinking about things, and crucially, not wanting to think about things. A whole lot of Izzy's whole fucking Deal is a result of him having to think about and process through shit that he hasn't had to deal with in years, if ever, in an attempt to both course-correct and maintain his sense of status quo. We see this play out in a couple of ways --

the way he addresses Ed (and how the forms of address Izzy's "okay" with using with Ed changes to meet Izzy's needs -- see @mikimeiko's supercut for a review)

his own no-longer-playful attitude toward stuff -- the last of which, I would hazard, actually appears when he just wanders into the stores with his cup of coffee to lean and drink while waiting for Pete and Lucius to notice he's there (and from which he's thrown off when first Lucius and Pete are... not particularly bothered by it, and then when Izzy tries to compensate, it goes even more poorly, and then--)

Figure 5. Upon being misnamed "Iggy" a second time, local Angry Ball of Emotions decides to once again forget that his weapon of choice requires several feet of working room to actually be effective

The "solutions" Izzy comes up with to deal with all this Everything happening around him (and to him) are both intentional and unintentional on his part -- most of them are devoted to returning to a status quo, the place where he was not in turmoil.

Stede Bonnet made him feel bad about his name; okay, lie to Ed about Bonnet so they never have to see him again and/or maybe Ed kills Bonnet for being mean. (About Ed. Not about Izzy. Izzy does not tell Ed about the name thing, and gosh that's interesting.)

Now Ed and Bonnet are on the same ship and Ed's not being the ship captain Izzy is familiar with, which must be because... Bonnet's around? Makes sense, fine, sure, so get rid of Bonnet, this is clearly the solution once again. How to do that? Logic about Ed's own pet policy? Doesn't work. Duel? Also doesn't work. Calico Jack? Kind of a long-shot, still doesn't work. The English? Against all odds somehow still doesn't work.

And then finally, though, Bonnet is gone! Hooray status quo! So that means we're all set here, everything back to nor-- nope. Nope. Um. Ed is still changing, getting more gender nonconforming, wanting to talk things out? And Izzy can't even blame it on Stede being around? Nope, fuck that, too much thinking there, too much wondering what it means to be GNC and also talking is terrible, let's just go back to when things were normal, pre-Bonnet, pre-boyfriends, yup, yup, I only serve Blackbeard, yeah THIS'LL fix things, okay babe sure.

(Concept: Edward "Blackbeard" Teach as the man on which Izzy Hands modeled masculinity because he himself didn't have a good innate understanding of his own gender outside of whatever biological bits seemed to match up, resulting in the fracturing of Izzy's sense of self when Ed starts experimenting with his own presentation -- even though perhaps Izzy latched onto Ed in the first place because Ed himself is already nonconforming, and also god, let Ed live his life, Izzy, jfc, not everything is about you.)

(Additional note: It is very hard to not be a self-centered asshole when your entire sense of self is a trainwreck and you can barely piece together why. Also, therapy hadn't been invented yet, and even top-of-the-line medical theory was pretty sure sad feelings came from Animal Spirits in your brain and/or spleen, so honestly it's a goddamn miracle any of these characters made it all the way to the end of the season, I don't actually blame any of them for being goddamn disasters in this regard.)

All this drive toward the status quo, btw, is an excellent bit of motivation to have in contrast/conversation with both Stede's and Ed's motivations -- because they're trying to escape their status quo, and only return to it when they find themselves in danger and scared. Izzy, on the other hand, feels in danger and scared when out of the status quo. They all try to get back to the status quo, and they all make increasingly poor decisions in their attempts to do so, but their motivations are diametrically opposed, and their personal timelines are out of step (Izzy starts very early on; Stede starts around the time he finds out he's been declared dead but really when Chauncey shoots himself; Ed starts with Izzy's threat against him).

Figure 6. A bullshit illustration of a poorly explained theory.

The need to move with/against the tide of change is sufficiently strong in all three of them to create narrative momentum. Specifically, with regard to moving toward change:

Stede incites change to escape the suicidal-ideation-inducing trap of his heteroconforming life;

through Stede, Ed discovers the possibility of change to escape the suicidal-ideation-inducing endless rat-race of piracy;

in this case, Izzy is not a willing participant in change, and feels threatened by it.

When the climax of the season approaches, we see the build of tension happening through all their actions against change:

Izzy incites multiple returns to status quo to escape the (suicidal-ideation-inducing?) changes appearing in his life without, he feels, his consent -- he seeks safety;

Stede backtracks in order to return to status quo and escape (what he perceives to be) the negative consequences of his actions toward change -- he seeks safety;

Ed backtracks to match what he believes to be Izzy's status quo (the caricature of Blackbeard, itself already an over-compensation on Izzy's part), done in response to the threat from Izzy -- he, you guessed it, seeks safety.

They're all doing such similar things, and they're all doing it for such wildly different -- but related -- reasons. Which brings me to...

WHAT IS IZZY HIDING FROM?

Well, I already said it before, but: Izzy Hands. Might be nonbinary.

(Izzy's gender is None Of Your Fucking Business)

Why am I aiming my theory in that direction? Let's start with how this show really likes its parallels. So what's the deal with these three?

Stede: Is already accepting of his nonconformity; he needs to discover the joy of queer attraction

Ed: Is already accepting of his queer attractions; he needs to discover the joy of queer nonconformity

Izzy: Hasn't accepted any of that in himself, which is why he's the most scared perhaps -- he needs to discover the joy of queer attraction and queer nonconformity, which in turn will bring him (as well as Stede and Ed, in their quests) to queer identity

So outside of his many many issues with Stede and Ed in particular, how do we see Izzy's need for queer attraction/nonconformity/identity reflected in the narrative? Well:

Actors can't be trusted and the story isn't "real" until we see it on-screen, but: Con has mentioned that the two people that really knock Izzy on his head are Lucius (definitely the attraction one) and Jim (??? perhaps... nonconformity?)

Speaking of Jim, and why I'm intrigued by this nonbinary theory, Izzy "let me be as insulting as possible to the openly queer people on board" Hands still uses Jim's goddamn pronouns

Figure 7. The absolute most surprising character moment in the entire show, I'm pretty sure.

Back to how you can't trust actors worth a damn: Vico Ortiz fucking loves cosplaying as Izzy and evidently has whole theories about how the two characters would vibe together. You know how the queer folk tend to find one another? Yeah, that.

If Izzy's whole thing about Ed's nonconforming can be considered a blow to the masculinity that Izzy has mirrored his own on... what's up with Jim, then? Jim's got all the masculine traits that Izzy admires. Ruthlessness. Competence. Knives. And yet-- Jim is... Jim? Jim doesn't identify as a man. Jim doesn't identify as a woman. Jim identifies as a goddamn threat.

What does Izzy want to be?

What could Izzy be?

Listen: figuring out your shit? Is hard. And if you think you've got it figured out -- or that it's the best it's going to be -- then why rock the boat?

Izzy's gender is a total non-issue at the start of the show. Why would it be? He's got an identity: it's "Izzy Hands, Blackbeard's First Mate." He doesn't need anything else, and we get a pretty decent opportunity to at least see how he was prior to all this shit going down -- he was playful. He was the sort of person that maybe you could see being fun enough for Ed to want to point neat shit out to him.

Until Stede fucking Bonnet calls him Iggy.

Until Blackbeard starts being more Ed than Blackbeard.

Until he's not even on the crew anymore, he's not a first mate, he's nothing--

Izzy has his chosen identity broken down to nothing. And he makes terrible decisions to try and regain it. Get rid of Stede and frighten everyone else; now his name is his own again. Sell out to the English and then acquiesce to Ed returning as captain; now he's back to crew and first mate. The last thing left... is Blackbeard. And good golly, he definitely does something about that too.

The thing is, identity is... malleable. You change. Izzy didn't want that, but guess what, buddy, the tide doesn't stop just because you want your sandcastles to stay pristine. He does everything he can -- above and beyond what's reasonable or moral -- to get back to where he started, but everyone's too changed in the interim to reset exactly. And that includes Izzy Hands himself.

WHICH BRINGS US TO SEASON 2

I don't make the rules, but with regard to the story:

Even if you disagree with my overall theory here, pirate data science says that Izzy is, for whatever reason, important in this narrative, and that's unlikely to stop in season 2

David Jenkins is fascinated by Izzy, and you know how writers get about characters they're fascinated with

At the start of season 2, I bet Izzy has had a lot of time to think about a lot of different things now that everything's back to "status quo" and everything is also, not coincidentally, fucking terrible. So wouldn't it be interesting if Izzy finds himself:

taking care of and keeping secret a waterlogged Lucius -- and Definitely Not Asking Questions about being gay for dudes

(Lucius asks "who cares if it makes you happy?")

taking care of and working with Jim -- and Definitely Not Asking Questions about gender and labels

(Jim asks "whose opinion matters more than your own?")

ALL WHILE dealing with his role -- and culpability -- in the creation of the whole Kraken / Stede A-plot

(at night, when Izzy is alone and frightened in the dark, he whispers, "who are you, Izzy Hands, when there's nothing left to lose?")

(and it may be some time -- maybe a whole 'nother season -- before he can manage to ask and answer the real question...)

"who could I be, if I let myself?"

[vergess]

.

Had a neighbor claim she called the cops to take away my service dog as a loose, dangerous animal who bit her boyfriend/husband since I was "in violation of leash laws."

There is no leash law in this area.

The animal handling law she cited, which does NOT require leashing but rather that the animal "not be at large" and be "under control," also only applies to public property. Not private property like the yard of the apartment complex that I have the owner's explicit permission for my service dog to play fetch in.

Even if there was a leash law for pets, service animals do not need to be leashed if it can interfere with their duties which it can. His trained tasks are to alert me before an episode, guide me to safety if I become delirious, and wake me after an episode. If I can't be woken he is trained to find a nearby person for help, usually my girlfriend. Having a leash interferes with this trained task. If I were to pass out while holding his leash or on top of his leash and was injured in such a way that I didn't wake up, he would not be able to find human assistance.

My dog never bit or threatened her husband in any way. The 'incident' being described involved us playing fetch on private property we had the owner's full permission to be on, and my dog trying to bring his tennis ball to the man who was walking through the same yard. As soon as I told my dog to leave the man alone and head inside, he did so. At no point was my dog violent, threatening, or in any way out of control.

When our landlord pressed her on this issue, she admitted that my dog never bit her, her husband, or her pets, but that my dog "had the opportunity [to bite], even though he didn't actually bite."

This fucker's own pet dog actually has bit people, but since said dog is 9 lbs of chihuahua obviously no one has ever tried to call the fucking cops

When I tried to explain that he is a service animal, her husband demanded I prove it by getting his 'service vest.'

When I refused, explaining that service dogs do not need to wear vests, the woman screamed that I was threatening her, that she had been recording our whole conversation, that the police were on their way to take my service dog into custody, and that I was trespassing on her private property by standing in the parking lot between our apartments.

It's been 8 hours now and I'm still barely clinging to the edge of sanity and trying so hard not to have a second panic attack over this.

Everything, rationally, should be fine. The law is on my side. Witnesses who saw that I only ever stood in the parking lot with my hands above my head (because that's what you do when a deranged white woman is threatening you) are on my side. Our shared landlord who owns the private property my dog plays fetch on is on my side.

But god, I am so scared. One bitchy white woman is jealous that the dog she keeps indoors without enrichment or training for 23 hours a day isn't as well behaved as my medical equipment. And she's willing to weaponize her whiteness to destroy my life and I'm just so.

I just.

Fucking hell.

On my landlord's suggestion, I bought a packet of those service dog registration papers and a vest for him, so that if she ever does call the cops, I have paperwork on my side too, but.

I just.

I'm so scared.

I am so scared and so full of hatred.

It's literally dangerous for me to cook or walk through town alone because if my stimulants wear out, I could pass out in traffic or on the hot stove unless my dog alerts me to find a safe place. And I can only be on stimulants for 8 hours a day anyway, which means the other 6-10 waking hours, I'm always at risk of passing out suddenly.

And this stupid white bitch doesn't like that I have a well trained animal who obeys every applicable law and several that don't apply, and I just.

I am filled with hatred and fear for my dog, fear for my life, fear that maybe I actually am in the wrong somehow, because even when I'm being attacked by them I'm still socialized to think of white women as victims...

I'm so scared.

I am so so so scared.