#this event looked so fun I was having fomo

[waywardmillennial]

The Steven Lim and Uncle Roger Dish Granted reunion

[wc-confessions]

the map culture in this fandom has gotten so bad. people getting burnt out from constant tight deadlines and being fueled by FOMO of big creators, yeah you can say it was a choice for them to join or not but let me also highlight lots of us are still young animators and artists. im not gonna say my age or username or what maps i was in or discuss here because it will out who i am but i have gotten FOMO from so many past projects i was in and the stress and sleepless nights from the parts i did because i badly wanted to be a part of something that someone i looked up to was hosting is just bad. you were also treated as easily replaceable if you didn’t animate something “correctly” and i hate so much the maps that start the timer once you’re accepted. at least let them acknowledge the acceptance before starting the timer? one map i was in once booted me without telling me because i lost power after i got accepted so i didnt even know i got in or not and then the next day saw the comment and got to work, only to find the map host already replaced me luckily before i got too far in. all im asking is to acknowledge we’re human too. i hate how maps are now like a big grand event that is hyped up so much and feels like a tournament. its no longer fun.

.

[the-bjd-community-confess]

Being used to doll events in Asia, it was really disheartening to look at what was being sold at Resin Rose. Maybe the quality of the wares at those events in Asia have just spoiled me too much, but even so? There were people just reselling basic cheap items from taobao they’d stuck a few cheap accessories on, for a massive markup. Uninspired jewellery. Low quality polymer clay food props I could see finger prints on. Eye makers with, honestly, very average or even below average eyes selling for 5 times or more what you would expect. Extremely basic doll outfits, most of which are just t shirts with ‘funny’ text. I counted barely even a small handful of items I would want to spend money on at all, let alone for the prices they were going for. I had FOMO when my mutuals all went but looking at the reports I don’t anymore. It might have been fun to go if it was close by, but I saw people taking interstate flights for this!

Yes, people deserve to be paid for their time and their craft. I’m no stranger to handing over lots of digits for quality work. But is this really the best the US can offer? Isn’t this meant to be THE bjd convention? It’s a little embarrassing.

~Anonymous

[pixiecaps]

god im not ready for tomorrow im so anxious but also excited but a part of me is like what if i just dont watch any of it and rely purely on liveblogs so i dont have to stress but then also the fomo of missing events live and its fun to liveblog so i should watch it but also im so soo like aaaaa so many things can happen tomorrow and im hoping for a good ending but looking at the probability well uhm its not the best u could say i just wanna see the federation take ONE hit just one is that too much to ask for i need to see them lose i need to know its possible

[darkcircles4lyfe]

fyi: I’m staying away from leaks

If you want to know my thoughts about recent events, here they are:

So idk if I’ve ever mentioned this before, but when I started watching and reading bnha I made a point not to engage with the fandom until I was caught up, because I didn’t want spoilers. When I finally made it to the current chapter, it was around the end of the first war. That’s when I started looking at what other people were saying, and that’s when I found out about when/where leaks were. I’ve been tuning in ever since, for a few reasons that I only rarely stop to interrogate. First and foremost: I’ve liked the extra time to prepare what I want to say if the chapter contains a major revelation or cliff hanger I want to write about. It’s satisfying to punctuate my Sunday morning with a fully fleshed out essay I can immediately post. Then of course it’s also fun to participate in the Moment that leaks create, especially because they unfortunately tend to make the officials feel like an afterthought. And let’s not lie to ourselves—a major reason we tune in is because of FOMO. Everyone else is doing it. You don’t want to be left out of the conversation and not know what’s going on. I especially wanted to know ahead of time about lines that might get butchered in the official English translation. It was nice knowing that Horikoshi didn’t write that “Swiss cheese” line, right? These are some understandable reasons.

But since the routine got disrupted a little, I kinda got slapped in the face with enough clarity to start asking myself: what would I actually get the most enjoyment out of? Because when I heard the (now outdated) news that leaks were no more, I was actually relieved. So. That’s cause for some reflection. I’m like, man, what if I did tune out of social media entirely, wake up on Sunday, have my nice little home cooked breakfast, and read the new chapter for the first time over a cup of tea. What if I experienced the surprises as I turned the page and they stared me in the face, with Horikoshi’s beautiful artwork in HD.

Sure, I’d need to catch up after the fact if there’s any translation fuckery, but that’s okay. That’s doable. Bless the folks who take the time to comb through the Japanese and explain the nuance to everyone else. This is tangential, but I’ve also started thinking even more about how satisfying it would be to edit my own versions (for personal use only of course). That’s a… long-term goal, but maybe it’ll take care of my annoyance with the ‘official’ blunders and bad dialogue. The point is, idk if making myself aware of that stuff should be my #1 priority, above even reading the chapter in the first place. If anything it just makes me more pissed off and fixated on what might be wrong. Which is valid… but distracting. I should prioritize having fun as much as I can.

The other thing is, I’m kind of a social media lurker anyway. I don’t say much in the moment, and I don’t post often. On twitter I mostly just engage in other people’s comments. And it’s not like thousands of people are waiting to hear what I think. Like I said, my personal incentive is to get a head start on analyzing so I can pull together a long, thoughtful response in a more timely manner. But I don’t have to do that. I might as well just embrace my cryptid tendencies—you get my two cents whenever I feel like crawling out of my well.

I don’t want to moralize this whole thing, ask you to think about how the sausage gets made, but I will say I’m looking forward to finding out about big moments without seeing them in the form a short summary tweet first. I mean, c’mon… leakers know how to build hype to an extent but it’s still no substitute. It’s like listening to a sportscaster on the radio instead of watching the game. As we get closer to the end, I just want to savor it!

[shirtlessradfahrer]

warning cringe venting/rambling about stress and trip planning and hair under the cut

I had a total breakdown after work yesterday

like...dry heaving sobbing into my knees on the floor kind of breakdown

not about the hair…ok yes it was about the hair but not entirely, I've been stressed about a lot of things and the hair change was just what finally set the emotional bomb off

I've had a crapload of anxiety about my trip for weeks (which looking back now I've definitely been suppressing too much, and that was a mistake) bc it's my first time flying/traveling alone, and overseas to boot

Thinking about stuff like, will I forget some crucial papers/tickets/passwords etc and be unable to do fun stuff, will I have a panic attack on the flights despite my meds, will I have some freak accident and end up in hospital over there, will my cat still like me when I get back, will I fit in with enough of his other fans. Will i come back the same person or changed for the better, or for the worse...they all scare me equally.

And I worked my fucking ass off in order to be able to afford everything I'm going to do without going into a ton of debt. Which really did a fucking number on me mentally.....but for almost a year I've told myself it would all be worth it, bc I'd be overwhelmed with joy when I *finally* see that beautiful bowlcut boy in front of me, just as I was filled with joy when I first saw him peeking out of that box

I planned my trip under the loose assumption that the album would be out (or almost out) by this point and I'd be able to celebrate that with people. I got even more excited for this after Böle bc I figured that was the template for everything going forward, and I loved everything I saw-I loved the staging, I loved the new songs, I loved his outfit, I loved the almost bird-esque styling he was doing with the front of the bowlcut

But now....I don't know what the actual fuck he's doing.

I'll be on the (first) plane in a little less than 48 hours and I just feel like the universe is playing some sick joke on me - in less than a week he's gone from someone I would abandon feminism for (I joke) to Some Guy I would be actively avoiding at public events (based on a few unfortunate past experiences with individuals who resembled this, not entirely a joke). Not his fault, I know, and nothing to do with his actual personality of course, which I’m *well aware* is lovely. But that's my reality 🤷🏻‍♀️ and it’s incredibly jarring and not in a good way, and sure as hell not at a good time

And as I said it’s not just about the hair, I feel sick thinking about how much time and money and effort I've put into planning things - esp. gig outfits which I was basing off of the purple/green suit.....and I don't even know if there was any point to that now, bc is he even going to wear it? Again, not specifically *his* fault. But I’m miffed, to say the least.

It feels so incredibly rare these days that I can share a deeply passionate long-term interest with others. I feel like this whole...thing has been a perfect example of how much I struggle with FOMO....with feeling like I'm always left behind. And even when I try my hardest to catch up I can never quite make it before people have moved on to something different.

I know my reaction seems way over-dramatic to some but I just gently ask that you imagine how I feel watching countless people essentially drop by Finland on their free weekends or time off to see him once, or twice, or three times, or five times, or twenty freaking times over the past year, while I’ve had to move heaven and earth for the chance to see him even once (and I'm not trying to generalize, I know for various reasons a lot of you have also been unable to see him still, and I really hope that changes soon <3 especially if you *do* like this look)

The point is that I just wanted to experience the “classic” Kä ONCE! I didn't even plan on going to multiple shows until it became a thing for Summer Camp!! Just ONCE! He could copy the Daltons and go bald after that for all I care!!

He's 100% allowed to style himself however he wants - if I weren't in the *very particular situation* I'm in I'm sure I would be more open to the change although I still hate this particular shade of blonde and think there are much better options but whatever.But I’m allowed to be disappointed when I’ve spent literal thousands of dollars-and will be spending more-to make seeing him a reality. I've had so much bad luck and bad timing already this year and this just took the freaking cake. And again that's not *his* fault, I know. But fuck, am I sad. I just wanted something, anything to go according to plan for me this year.

I know I'll still have a great time - I'm excited to meet and hang out with everyone, and I'm excited to do touristy things and I’m still excited for all the great music I’m going to hear. I'm just venting now bc I don't want to be such a downer when I meet everyone in person.

....now watch me completely clown myself if this really is just for Traffic and he goes back to black in a couple weeks - and I will so very happily wear that clown suit lmao, you can all buy me one if you find one

[gubbles-owo]

How's Arknights going? Tried out any of the funky side-modes yet? Did you already get 4 of the same clue dropped on your desk by someone? (the essential AK experience)

YOU

WHY CAN'T I HOLD ONTO ALL THESE BLACKSTEEL CLUES YOU DUMPED ON ME For real tho, big thanks for all the clues!! Pretty sure I've at least once managed to fill the board entirely with cards from you LMFAO paragraphs of unnecessarily detailed answers under the cut

Arknights is going alright! Still on chapter 5 of the main story, progress has been slow cause I've been focused on upgrading the hell out of a few specific ops-- first e2'ed Manticore, then Matoimaru the other day (i love both of 'em sm). Definitely ain't maxed out, dunno if anyone would actually use em as support units rn, but regardless I love my arknights children just look at them they're so fcukfign cool

I adore the extra stories and insights that come with building trust and unlocking modules, and at the end of the day I'm ultimately here for the characters! Still figuring out who to promote next... Exu would be useful as heck but oughhh the materials required for her look like hell XmX I haven't really done all that much of the side stuff, tbh? Not out of lack of interest, but because shit just feels too difficult? I've been discouraged from doing all that much in events or novel modes because I inevitably get roadblocked by raw numbers-- my ops are too low level, enemies throw waay too much damage, mechanics and enemy types I've never seen or had explained are suddenly thrown at me and I'm expected to know how the heck to deal with 'em, etc etc. In all honesty it's a lil frustrating as new player to try and keep up, to curb the rampant FOMO from things I can't quite fully participate in yet. I'm sure I'll get there eventually, it's just a bit of a struggle >w>` Strategy games 'n tower defense usually ain't my thing, so admittedly there's a looot I still gotta learn, through both practice and example. Simply put: I'm babey xD I have been learning and discovering cool lil strategies tho! Random fun fact, while figuring out a better strategy to grind out 4-8 than the guide I originally followed, I discovered that you can get two sarkaz casters to bind the same target if you time your deployment just right

punished gravel jumpscare

(and yes, i am still working on texturing the low poly manticore model, progress has just been extremely slow sdhfjsdgh)

[shuttershocky]

hey shutters! i hope this isn't a heavy ask, but i've fallen off hard from arknights the last few months. i want to get back into it, but trying to clear events feels like a chore because i think even now my skills are still lacking. i brute force things too much for sure, but i feel i lack the creativity to try new comps/always end up needing to look at walkthroughs. how should i go about getting over this stagnation? sorry for the trouble and thank you!

Whenever you work on a clear, if all you're looking for is a mission accomplished screen (which is admittedly most of the playerbase, they're just here for the character collecting and aren't really here for the gameplay), you're always going to naturally default to brute force. This also has the side effect of forcing you to feel like you always need to keep up with the current "meta" (apart from the general FOMO content created by so many AK youtubers which I despise, running Thorns on 90% of general content still works and is still as simple as ever) because the meta is ever increasing brute force to finish stages faster and faster (see: comparisons between Thorns and Typhon, which is such a disingenuous comparison imo when they're not only members of different classes, but they don't even occupy the same tiles)

The thing about working on your strategy / creativity is that you shouldn't be afraid of failure. It's very rare that you're ever going to get an idea completely right the first time (or even the second and third). You have to think about something fun you want to try, run it in practice mode, fail, and then identify the problems your run had and make modifications to solve those problems (either changing operator skills, placements, or operators entirely), iterating this process until you have a clear you're satisfied with.

For example, after I finished upgrading Hellagur's module to level 3, I wanted to have a clear where he beats the strongest possible 1v1 boss that he can actually take on as the main DPS with S1M3. Patriot wasn't feasible due to his 4x hit and 2000 DEF on Phase 1 making it impossible for Hellagur to hurt him (although Phase 2 Hellagur can beat), so instead I went with Deathless Black Snake in JT8-3.

The first time I tried it, Hellagur lost. The true damage over time effect from the boss countered his regen from attacks while the boss' attacks eventually overwhelmed him. The second time, I tried it with Skadi Alter and Perfumer helping him with regen, but Skadi would blow up before her S2 could activate even with medics healing her, and Hellagur would still lose. The third time, I tried activating Perfumer's skill 2 instead, and the increased regen actually countered enough of the damage over time effect that Hellagur could win, but he died to the fireballs right after. Another iteration with Nightingale's cages blocking the fireballs, and Hellagur could survive to fight Phase 2, etc etc.

If this sounds like fun, then there's a ton of depth to the game for you to mine for and the experience can feel extremely rewarding.

If this doesn't sound like fun, then don't force yourself! If you're feeling like you're simply not having fun anymore, it's much better for you to walk away than to keep pushing it because of the time you've already invested and just growing resentful of the game overall. The only reason to play a video game is because you're having fun. The time to walk away is when you're no longer having any fun, don't let any external pressures keep you playing something you no longer enjoy.

[hologramcowboy]

Okay so this has nothing to do with anything that is normally talked about on here, but I value your opinion and was curious what you'd do in my situation.

My birthday is coming up on the 2nd of October, and its quite common for no one to remember it or if they do, they just don't mention it at all.

I've been going to therapy to work through my family trauma from when I was a child and its started to upset me more and more that no one was remembering my birthday, even my partner who I've been in relationship with for 3 years now doesn't acknowledge it.

I'm absolutely dreading this upcoming one and I don't know what to do or how to think as I just feel so worthless. I've avoided celebrating it on my own because I feel embarrassed, ashamed, unloved etc.

What would you do if this was you or someone you knew in this situation? Besides talking to my therapist

I’m no therapist but if I was you I’d go somewhere special on my own or with a friend and the post about it. 😂 An event, a travel destination, maybe even throw a large party. Give them FOMO. Focus on you, on celebrating everything you’ve achieved, all the parts that make you you, even the less than stellar ones because even those serve you in some way when you know how to look and ask that question. “How/Where does this serve?” If someone I knew was in this situation, I’d organize a party/ discreet celebration (each person has different preferences) for them and, if I was feeling generous,I might even invite the forgetful ones.

On a more serious note, please focus on valuing yourself more and ask your therapist to help you achieve that because it makes a huge difference in how people perceive you. When you value yourself you set healthy boundaries and you also celebrate yourself and your achievements. Maybe your family/boyfriend are too caught up in life to remember (I’m giving the benefit of the doubt even though each is fishy to me).

Would it be ridiculous to say there’s zero reason for you to be embarrassed by your family’s lack of sensitivity? Would it be ridiculous for you to love yourself as you are and celebrate yourself in whatever way is meaningful to you? 🧡 Have fun on your own or with friends and you will see people who have previously ignored you will want to hang out with you, because there is magnetism in self care and respect.

It really breaks my heart that you feel worthless over other people’s lack of presence or sensitivity. I am sure your therapist will remind you to build a life you love and let the right people be drawn to it. Maybe your family has problems, maybe they are insensitive, either way that shouldn’t affect who you choose to be and how you choose to view yourself, same goes for your boyfriend and it’s highly important to have an honest conversation with him about what you feel. If he’s the kind of boyfriend that doesn’t make you feel special each day of your life and doesn’t listen with empathy, then he might not be the right fit for you. I hope you start taking time for yourself to pursue personal interests, hobbies, passions and let go of your seemingly toxic family. I’m not saying you should stop loving them, just that if you notice toxic behaviours it is okay to step away and employ self care, set boundaries.

There are groups of people that share your passions that you could join, be open to the world and it will be open to you. Don’t limit yourself in any way, no matter how another chooses to view you. Because the way you view yourself affects your subconscious mind and that affects your behaviours.

Sorry I couldn’t be of more help, I hope other anons will tune in and share their view or even other blogs.

Happy Birthday 🥂in advance and please remember you need no excuse to celebrate and value yourself. Every day can be a day you seize and it’s up to you what colors you choose to paint with on the canvas of your life! May all of your dreams be your focus and may they come true in this upcoming phase of your life!

[illfoandillfie]

#2, hope this is cute lol

running into Ben at a bookshop and he’s flirting and offers to carry your books home but it’s also the day of a big sale there (he has to carry lots of books and it's very heavy even for his muscly self?)

Blurb Advent 2023: Day 9

This is an absolute attack on me, thank you.

Warnings: nothing! it's just some cute flirty fun

Walking into a bookshop invariably lead to you leaving with more books than you’d intended to buy. It was dangerous for your wallet. So you’d made a rule for yourself. You were on something of a book buying ban until your local bookstore had their annual big sale event, at least until you’d read more of what you already owned. Which meant, despite three of your favourite authors releasing new books and a whole lot of FOMO when you saw what everyone else on booktok was reading, you hadn’t really bought a new book in quite a few months. It had been going well, you’d made a good dent in your collection, but it was finally time. You’d seen the bookstore posting on instagram that the sale was coming and had immediately began planning your Saturday around a trip to the store. You mentally plotted out a route through the store that started with grabbing one of their cute wire baskets the supplied and would let you hit up all your favourite genres without too much back and forth. Then you made a physical list of all the titles organised by priority – the titles you needed at the top and ones you were possibly interested in but less sure of at the bottom. And finally, you made the decision to head in early. Not quite at opening but not too long after so as to beat whatever rush might accumulate later in the day.  

Your plan had gone off without a hitch and by about 10 AM you had a basket in hand, four books already tucked into it and a fifth you were slipping back onto the shelf since the blurb didn’t sound as interesting as you’d initially thought. You were just grabbing out another book (not on your list but the title was intriguing) when you heard someone say your name. There, on the other side of the shelf was Ben. Ben who you’d matched with on Bumble and been out with a couple of times. You’d got the distinct impression he was into you, but the timing hadn’t been right and things had sort of fizzled out before they got very far. But seeing him now you felt a little a bad about that and wondered if he was still single.   “Hi Ben, nice to see you,”  He came round to your side of the shelf, and there was a slightly awkward moment where you contemplated going in for a hug but wasn’t sure if it was appropriate. Thankfully Ben saved you from yourself, leaning in to give you a peck on the cheek, “Yeah you too, hows it been?”  “Oh yeah, y’know, work’s been a bit crazy but can’t complain. How’ve you been?”  “Good, just got back from the States a couple of weeks ago where I was staying with a mate, so that was nice. Good to get back home though, even if it is a bit quiet, just me.”   You happily filed that away, much more confident that he was still single and still interested.   Ben nodded towards your basket of books, “Taking advantage of the sale then?”  You glanced down and laughed, “Yeah, excatly. Plus I figure it’s good karma helping out an indie store like this one. More I buy, better for them. I didn’t know you came here.”  “Well it’s a little further than I usually go but I saw they were having a sale and I remembered you’d mentioned this place, so I figured I’d have a look.”  You blushed a little that Ben had remembered the store so long after your date.  He kept speaking to distract from his own slight blush, holding up a book you only recognised by the cover, “My mate’s been recommending me this one so I figured I’d give it a go.”  “Well hopefully he has good taste,” you smiled and then wished you could think of something else to say. You supposed your own imminent purchases would make sense but you didn’t know how to talk about them without explaining your list and your buying ban and really that was too much.  But once again it was Ben to the rescue, “How many more are you planning on picking up?”  You laughed, relieved one of you was good at conversing, “Not sure yet, when they start overflowing I’ll stop.”  “Well, if you need a hand picking them up, let me know.”  All you could do was smile and nod, pleased at the unexpected turn the day was taking.   “Right, well, better let you get back to it then.”  “Yeah, thanks, um, see you around?”  “Yeah, definitely. You’re number’s still the same right?”  “Mmhmm,”  “Cool, maybe I’ll call you sometime.”  “I’d like that.”  Ben nodded, smiling, “Alright, well, see you later then.” He gave you a last little wave as he headed towards the front of the shop.  

You were entirely distracted from your shopping, mostly wondering when he’d call and if you should call him first and if so when. Without meaning to you’d gravitated towards the romance section, entirely out order from your plan, so you shook yourself and focused back in on your list, grabbing out another one you’d had your eye on since you’d watched a TikTok about it. A few times during your shopping your eye was caught by some blonde hair and whenever someone with a heavier footfall moved behind you, you’d look up hoping Ben was back. And then you’d tell yourself to get a grip and stop acting like such a dork. But finally, your basket very full and another couple of books in the crook of your elbow, you decided you were done. You’d found most of the ones you’d wanted as well as a few impulse buys that just seemed interesting, and you were ready to pay for them. Saying as little prayer for your bank account you headed up to the counter, joining the queue behind an older woman who had a Jane Austen themed puzzle in one hand and her purse in the other.  

“Well, this is awkward,” Ben said from over your should and you turned to find him directly behind you in the line.  “Ben! You’re still here.” you’d expected him to have left after your conversation stopped but couldn’t pretend you weren’t pleased to be wrong.   “Yeah, I um, I was going to go but I don’t have any other plans and there were a couple more things I wanted to look for so I decided to hang around. I would have said hi again but I didn’t think you’d want me interrupting your shopping.”  “Are you kidding? We could have done some shopping together, compared books.”  “That would have been fun,” He sounded a little disappointed he hadn’t thought of it, “But something tells me if we had I’d be leaving with more than the three books I found. You sure you got enough?”  "No but I can only carry so much,” you laughed, liking the way he smiled when he teased you.  You were interrupted by the cashier calling you forward, Ben called to the second register a moment later. He of course got through paying a lot faster and you watched him walk towards the exit even while you made polite small talk with the woman ringing up your books, but were pleased to find he was waiting just outside when you were through.  

He noticed the four bags you were grasping straight away, “Are you right with those?”  “I may have gone a bit overboard,” you laughed, “seriously considering getting a cab home.”  “How far do you live?”  “Not that far really. About a quarter of an hours walk.”  “Oh that’s nothing, I can give you a hand. Save you the cab fair.”  “Probably good I don’t spend too much more today. But only if I’m not putting you out.”  “Not at all. I told you, no other plans. So,” he made a give them here gesture with both hands and you gladly handed over two of the bags.   “And the others,” he said, grabbing them before you could say anything. He seemed to have an easier time with them than you did though he grunted a little as he adjusted them in his grip.  “You don’t have to take all of them, I can carry some.”  “Don’t worry about it, I’ve got them. Just lead the way.”  “Well if you insist, but I feel bad about it.”  “You carried them all around the shop, your arms must need a break.” he said, trying to sound natural but failing a little when he had to jolt the bags to readjust them again. 

You had thought that maybe half way he’d have given you at least one of the bags if not two, but when you suggested as much Ben shook his head and asked if it was straight ahead or round the corner. You felt bad every time he shifted the bags, trying to balance their weight more, and every time he made a little grunt at the strain. But you had to admit it was kind of hot, seeing his muscles flex as he strained to hold the bags up, his face flushing more the longer you walked. And it was very sweet of him to offer to help. So you decided that when you finally got home you’d have to invite him inside for a cool drink. And maybe offer to massage his big strong arms too. 

[shiny-miltank]

A leche hobbies update:

Update on knitting adventures: almost done with a scarf I started 🤔 dropped stitches everywhere but it really helps with my adhd to have something in my hands to play with while feeling like I’m working towards something! Don’t think I’ll show it off though LMAO, it’s ugly as a scarf but I like it as a “baby’s first scarf” to look back on when I get better. And it’s warm :)!

Other thing: picked up a sewing machine from the good will and still in really great shape and working! Its old and has character and I love it HAH. I’m learning from my abuelita on her own machine. It’d be great to combine this and knitting to make essentials and to repair clothes that really need it.

Drawing/not really a hobby it’s my “Jobby”: sorry for being a lil slow on updates! I got a little bit of burnout and I really want to finish summers commissions so I can clear my schedule more. I’m just about done so I’m no longer chipping on three projects at a time between my full time job oof-but do know they are being worked on. I’ve got adoptables on the way and sketching the next ask-n update! I’ve also been keeping an eye on other places to post like insta and bluesky but I feel like I need to like…observe? Some more? Before committing and learning whole new platforms and posting schedules bleh.

I got other projects in the pipeline, one including a pmd thing, more Paldea headcanons and what not and some certain purple psychic cat things returning. But all in due time! Can’t overwhelm myself : 0

And a little bit of a rant or ramble about perhaps dropping a longtime hobby I’ve had and feeling sad about it beneath the cut ;( but if you’ve read this far thanks! Love ya’ll for supporting me!

I think a handful of you? Know I roleplay on this platform and have for a good seven? Eight? Years. It’s fun, a lot of my ideas and headcanons and art I’m known for were actually jump started by some random thread or idea from between my rp partners and what not. The Mewtwo blog, ask-n, scarlet turo and etc etc were old muses or ideas that turned into their own thing. It’s always been so easy to write and collaborate your ideas with the rp community you’re in and it becomes it’s whole big thing!

But I know it hasn’t always been the healthiest hobby for me after awhile but esp when I want to focus on content creation as a job that I’m really into. I no longer have the time to maintain plots and characters despite being so determined to stick to it. It’s becoming more of a distraction of just scrolling down the rp dashboard out of FOMO more then anything and heck I can’t even see most of it as a lot of events and verses and etc I blacklist to attempt to curb anxiety and distractions which haven’t been working lately 🤔 I still get lots of anxiety.

That and the community’s changed really. I know every old rper has typed their piece on “back in the good old days-“, leaves their blog and doesn’t give any useful advice or attempt to change the narrative lol. I don’t want to do that.

And it’s not the communities fault either. It’s natural for spaces to change to help new ideas and new people come in. It just means maybe it’s no longer meant for me and that’s okay. If anything it’s more how my friends I’ve been with for all my time there have left or are leaving. There’s a disconnect I can’t seem to get over no matter what new muse or idea I promote esp when I’m no longer comfortable in the space I enjoyed for so long. I never had to block so many things before and again not the communities fault and none of the things I’m blocking are unsavory, it’s more like my tastes and likes and dislikes and what I have spoons for have just become different over so long. It’s totally a me thing.

It’s in my mind that maybe it’s okay to let it go since I’m getting so hyped for my newer hobbies and the ideas I have for my art/comics. I don’t have the time anymore to dedicate so much energy on it like I use to esp when even over all my work Im still figuring out my adhd after getting diagnosed officially, new meds, the other mental diagnosis that makes the mental soup in my head alongside other life stuff.

I owe rp in general for helping me get that creative spark and through a lot of tough, long dark times. It’s provided me with the escapism and outlet since like, forever. I started rping in ye old Neopet neomail days and haven’t stopped since besides the occasional period that didn’t last long. Who knows maybe this is just a rut and I’ll feel better tomorrow or next week or something. Could be the change of seasons where my seasonal depression kicks in but I’m not quitting yet but it’s somewhere in the funky mind palace as I navigate this weird patch.

Thanks if you’ve read my ramblings this far! I wish there was a way to reward peeps who read through my long jargon? It just feels good to know I can scream into the void and sometimes I’ll have one or two people nod at me in understanding. Idk, I’ll think of something—

[kabillieu]

It's that time of year! The annual gigantic writing conference that stresses me out to no end because it forces me to assume people will want to hang out with me.

I'm doing slightly better this year at making this assumption, and in fact have already arranged dinner reservations with one set of friends and another dinner reservation with another person who I have never met but who is on the panel I organized. I've started building my schedule, and I have lots of commitments and events planned. Maybe even too many? Like last year, I did not seek out any off-site events to read at, nor did I ask my press to host me for a signing at the book fair. #1.) I am not currently promoting a project, and I do not particularly enjoy reading in front of people. In fact, I sort of hate it. #2.) My book came out nearly four years ago. No one is going to drop by my press's table and buy it and ask me to sign it. Still, because poets love to post their AWP schedules to social media, I always feel a little bit of FOMO, like I should be trying to be more poetry-famous (lol) than I am. But with a big conference like this one, you can drive yourself mad by comparing yourself to others. I've been to four now, and I find them incredibly useful for general networking and strengthening professional friendships. This is going to be a busy conference for me. I'll be tabling for the journal where I'm a poetry editor and for my university. I have three dinners and one lunch scheduled. And for the first time, I'll be moderating a panel I organized and planned. I do not need to go chasing down reading opportunities. I'll save that for the future when I actually have a new book to promote.

Despite all my bellyaching, I actually really enjoy this conference. It's definitely overwhelming, but I've been so surprised over the years to discover how fun it is to meet other writers. I try really hard to ignore perceived or real hierarchies (though I do get star-struck by some poets), and I just talk to anyone who will talk back to me. I'm a very introverted person, but within a writing community context I often become extroverted for extended periods of time. It's like witnessing myself sprout a whole new personality. It's fascinating, and I'm looking forward to it.

[rothjuje]

Loved all your comments on my solo travel inquiry. A couple people said FOMO is real, and you were right. I told Justin I was going to plan trips with or without him and then the following week he started planning one for us hahaha.

Summer. Every time there is a break from school, every time, I think ooh this is going to be so nice, get to sleep in, not worry about the crazy of different schedules etc. No. No Jess. The kids will wake up even earlier with instant whines of “I’m borrred!”

Tuesday we did a farm, a park, and then the lake for $1 ice cream. Wednesday we played/swam at the lake for most of the day. Thursday we went to a touch a truck event, the library, a park, and then swimming at a friend’s pool. And this morning the kids played happily for an hour before the “I’m borrred” and constant bickering started. Whyyy. I’m so tired. George and I have been going to bed early/sleeping late to recover. I’m also old so I’m sore and had to take Motrin to walk straight after 3 nonstop days, oy.

One of my best friends up here has a pool. We hang together several times a week because she also has a 6 year old and a 3 year old. Anyway, was super excited to use her pool this summer but turns out my pool fantasy is really more of a nightmare. George simply will not get in after several days of coaxing. But he does love to throw things into the pool. Dirt. Towels. Shoes. Clothes. Phones. It hasn’t been fun. My friend is convinced that pools are relaxing for adults and fun for kids. But she also ingests a lot of weed. I ingest no weed and I find George at the pool to be very, very stressful. He won’t wear a swim diaper or a floaty (not that he gets in but I am very fearful of him falling in while he bends over the edge trying to retrieve stuff he’s chucked in).

Anyway. My friend says I’m letting anxiety control my life. The pool dilemma is causing us to butt heads. But. Why should I take my neurodivergent child who is unaware of drowning or consequences in general to a pool where I have to constantly control his behavior? I mean anything sounds more fun than that. If he was my only kid then okay, but I have to constantly leave him in the pool area to take the girls to the bathroom or get them a snack etc and maybe it is anxiety. Maybe it is secondary trauma from our first placement who had brain damage from a near drowning incident. Or maybe it’s normal to not feel relaxed while at the pool with 3 kids that don’t know how to swim, one being neurodivergent.

I can understand her feelings being hurt that I no longer want to bring the kids over, but I am honestly so sick of having to explain to people that trying to keep George safe in certain situations is mentally taxing eg by bodies of water or in busy downtown areas (he likes to be near the street so he can watch trucks go by).

Sigh.

I’m just tired of being the uptight friend. I’m so chill at home or at fenced in parks or at the beach or lake (George and Genna love sand/playing at the shore). I hate being the one to constantly veto plans or control where they take place. Honestly, I rather my friends just hang out without us and let me escape to the low-stress lake that no one else wants to go to. But they feel guilty and then I feel bad and ugh.

Is there a solution I’m missing?

Anyway. So so excited for a normal weekend without recitals or holidays, it’s been almost a month since our last normal/chill weekend. I’m looking forward to catching up on chores which probably sounds boring but the state of our house and lack of clean laundry is starting to super stress me out. I’m also so behind on gardening stuff, some of my plant babies desperately need to be replanted or pruned.

I probably sound like the least fun person after this post 😂

[tapejob]

help im from twitter and idk what im doing. how does hockey tumblr work

so you just fled hockeytwt - what now?

hey anon, welcome to hockeyblr! we're imo one of the best communities on tumblr and we're so glad to have you. hopefully you'll enjoy your stay :)

some general tumblr things to note:

as you probably know, tumblr doesn't run on an algorithm

any content depends primarily on what blogs you follow + occasionally what tags you follow (less reliable. your main source will be by blogs)

tags serve mainly as an organizational/content marker, as well as for filtering purposes. tagging #fyp to get your content out there does nothing

to send an ask, click on the button beside the follow/following button on the user's blog - some people rename the 'ask' to some other things, which may make it hard to find

we are the faceless app. pls customize your blog a little so it doesn't look like you're a bot but do not feel pressured to reveal names/face/age/pronouns whatever

once again, the only way content is found is through reblogs. reblog things that u think are neat, no additions required :)

re filtering: you can block terms/tags/content you don't want to see on your dash (e.g. 'tw sexual assault'). here's a better post to explain trigger warning/tagging etiquette

ok onto general hockeyblr:

to follow tags, go into the search bar and type out #[tag] and click the blue follow button on the right. your basic starter pack of tags to follow in hockeyblr: #hockey, #nhl, etc.

but that's lame. and you're probably not gonna get any of the juicy stuff

following your team/the teams you are tangentially interested in and their popular player tags are often a good way to start breaking into the community (e.g. #pittsburgh penguins, #sidney crosby)

follow cool hockeyblr ppl! u can find ppl in your team spheres through the tags i mentioned above. there was also a hockeyblr directory made a while back (og masterlist is down but shoot me a message and i can get you some specific team lists. don't be afraid to ask ppl for recs too)

reblog, like, etc. esp with content creators/gifsets/etc. engagement does the heart good

wtf is liveblogging:

lots of users liveblog and post commentary during games!

you can find these posts in the lb tags, which vary by team and are sort of collectively known (e.g. #pens lb for pittsburgh)

some tags are a little less intuitive: #nyr lb or #rangers lb are both used for the rangers iirc, #bolts lb or #tbl lb have both been used for tampa - feel free to shoot me an ask/msg if you have trouble lol

big events, such as the playoffs, worlds, the all star game, etc may have their own special tags (e.g. #scp lb, #worlds lb, #asg lb, #team germany lb, etc). you'll figure it out as you go! and don't be afraid to ask for clarification

tagging your liveblogs are pretty important since:

it's fun to liveblog with a bunch of people on your silly little gang of guys! helps u find friends to follow, and

people who follow the opposing team might want to filter out your commentary (more info below)

ouch, yikes. i don't want to see that (aka, filtering/blocking)

coming back to filtering, the nice thing abt tumblr is that u can filter out whatever tags/blogs/keywords you don't want to see on your dash

go to your blog settings to live peacefully and with prosperity

you can filter out team tags/liveblogs/players, anything you want. in fact, u are encouraged bc not feeling extreme rage over some picture on the dash of the team that knocked your team out of the scp does the body good

filtered posts don't disappear entirely from the dash (in case u have fomo), but when a blog u follow posts about something in that tag, you will see a blurred post with the tags you filtered, as well as an option to view the post

(looks like this)

some users also have specific tags that they may have created for organizational purposes and to help you block specific content (e.g. #nhl trade rumors are my personal tag for, you guessed it, trade rumors. some ppl don't wanna hear that, so easy tagging for filter)

on that note: filter and move on. don't go into opposing team tags/liveblogs and talk shit or stir up shit. you will be blocked by. a significant amount of people. play nice y'all, it's hockey

rpf/fic

not really my area of expertise on tumblr, but there's a pretty big rpf/fic community on hockeyblr. follow or block as you need!

player relationship tags are a good place to look for content (e.g. #sidgeno, #8771)

use the :readmore: function on tumblr liberally if you're posting fics - full player fics in the player tags can suck to scroll through for an outside user

once again, don't be afraid to reach out and ask for help. best of luck navigating hockeyblr, you're sure to have a blast!

[crowniko]

got so inspired by the shinji news today that I wrote an outline for the first 5 chapters of my fanfic. I'm finally doing guys. I'm writing it all out.

*Read for more info about my shinji fic! I have some plot snippets and an overall fanfic description for those interested! :)*

this isn't to say that I haven't written it, since I have SO MUCH PLEASE HOW AM I GOING TO RESHAPE THIS WORK INTO THE FANFIC I ENVISION. I have like 300 pages of content, but it's all over the place and written in 3rd and 1st perspective.

The fanfic I'm writing/drafting is in 2nd, and gender neutral (old one uses she/her, I wrote it before I came out) and this new one has better pacing. I'm really excited to write it all out! I hope that the shinji fans enjoy it, or just bleach fans in general since it's all about the main plot. it's HEAVY reader insert, since I can't help but put myself in everything (don't look at my fomo)

but I also wanted to expand on certain topics in the bleach universe (the soul society in general, life and death, hell, zanpakuto, soul society norms and customs, and more fun stuff!)

also-- idk about y'all but I love ballroom settings and have two flustered and oblivious people dance together, acting as though they aren't totally in love with each other. EYE CONTACT EYE CONTACT. so yeah, can't wait to write the ballroom scene, since I haven't yet, not even in my old drafts.

but if you want to get a glimpse, here's a little bit about the reader and the plot:

the reader is a badass bitch

okay seriously: former squad 8's officer joins squad 5 as their 5th seat! for decades they bond with their loveable captain until unfortunate events lead them and their friends hollowfied :(

they go into the world of the living and have to learn how to deal with new baggage (fun hollow inside yippee). but 20 years before the main plot aizen is like "hahaha peace and love? I don't think so"

I won't say too much, but reader does not have a fun time and shinji sits on a chair all depressed like a character who shares his name.

let's just say, reader gets a fun vacation in hueco Mundo! lots of sights to see! such as the menos forest! or a big kingdom with really nice hollows inside!/s

anyways, lots of stuff I wanted to explore and write about. also, totally made it so that reader asks Ichigo "why are people calling metal bricks apples? how much has changed since I've been kidnapped gone?" totally dad who can't use or understand technology vibes.

so my fic is all of this plus shinji! you might ask, how the hell did u create this absurdly large plot??? and I'm like

pandemic ☺️💅

I'll stop now though, I've already said enough, and I feel a bit deliriously tired after writing all day 😭

[lunaria7]

Soo I was thinking about making a small tutorial for F2P players for love and deep space. It's definitely a grindy game, even more than genshin especially the version prior to the recent 2.0 update (version 1.0 and after)

Like I deleted the game before because of two reasons:

1) Not enough storage, I played it on my phone so it's very laggy too

2) It's not F2P friendly and I remember the limited banners only lasted less than a week.

3) The micro transaction was crazy as well. So like I don't have enough time to save a lot of gems for even a 15 pull. And I didn't know a lot of stuff that you can do in game 💀 (aka clueless af)

It's like you HAVE to spend money on this game if you have a FOMO 😭. So I just don't gaf anymore (low-key petty, but that's just me)

Now I downloaded it back on my tablet and I can see some improvement. Such as:

Now it's easier to grind for materials, they included a skip button which consumes 8 or 80 stamina depending on what you choose

Giving out (back to back) free 5* memories - Now is the Sylus Memory (Immobilized card) which you can obtain by completing the event that's ongoing right now and the upcoming Rafayel memory card.

More content which gives out a lot of gems

Even so, there is still one problem that I wish the devs would take into consideration and hopefully fix/improve them; The gacha system. This is also one of the main reasons a lot of people spend tons of money or have to break their F2P streak. Like bro.. it's so much worse than genshin, mostly the pity. Cause wdym more than 5 people I saw reached 90 pity but still didn't get the memory 💀 not even one 5 star. I mean yeah, there are people who are lucky but most I've seen is that they had 1K ish gems reduced to dust but didn't get the card they wanted. I'm putting this problem in the survey so I sincerely hope the developers listen pls.

I should also say the micro transaction is still very much prevalent but it's not as bad as after a few weeks it was released (My only aim is progressing the main story ngl). I'm giving them the benefit of a doubt tho, since this is clearly a new project they're venturing out to and still trying to find a way around how they're gonna work this game. So for any of those who are like me, refusing to even spend a single dollar on a game I think it's important to fill out the survey so the devs can make the game more F2P friendly. I guarantee you, it can benefit the players more by doing this, just look at HSR and wuthering waves.

I haven't played in like 6 months I think so I missed out a lot, but like I said they did improve some stuff in the game compared to when I first played it. I remember it wasn't fun for me but I stick around for a while because I like the customization and the story. And I also remember there wasn't a lot of content to grind for gems unlike now, I mean that's a given since it's new. So it's clear they do listen to players' grievances, I assume. I hope they do so as the game progresses.

I'll probably do some like, tutorial on how you can get gems and stuff if you're a busy person or whatever hehe cause rn my gems are around 7K and I downloaded LnDs just last week when sylus was first released (yes I came back because of this dude 😭). Even I'm suprised I could obtain that much when I can't even get to more than 3K gems before this lol. So yeah maybe I'll do it soon.