#this family makes me SICK.

[liljafish]

"He looked at me the way I'd always hoped he would: like he cared for me. Like a father who saw a bit of himself in his son." SOBBING, THROWING UP, SCREAMING, DYING ON THE FLOOR.

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[whyoneartheven]

there are so many "if this gets (insert number) notes i'll do something productive/good for me!" but has there ever been one where someone goes

if this gets 10k notes i'll slap myself in the face

i suppose i'm wondering

would people be so eager to reblog if it would cause something slightly unpleasant?

[spectra-bear]

People got me thinking abt them and this fic again :explodes:

[treasureplcnet]

inverness here they come!!!!

[youledmehere]

[toastyyjams]

buddies

[littlelightfish]

We alredy know what's Chilchuck's worst nightmare. What if I told you that it was canon?

His daughters have alredy been eaten. His wife was eaten too. His family are all dead. His worst nightmare has come truth. And he for sure feels like it's partially his fault, because it's the Winged Lion doing, yes, but who helped Laios get here? Chilchuck. And who's daughters and wife are now dead because of it? Chilchuck's. The suggestion of recreating them tells us that they've alredy been eaten. The way he says it makes it feel like it's too late. They're dead. Because of him. Of his actions. Of his job. The irony of it all is actually quite cruel. He makes a union so he can prevent bad things to happen to his race, to his family, and then, and he works at the union. And now, because of his job, he got them all killed.

He doesn't even know how his daughters are until way later, I don't even know if in the manga they send letters to him during the feast, because I know they don't go to said feast. So Chilchuck doesn't know if his girls are alright until, again, way later. We know they don't die because, well, there's this comic of them going to meet Laios, the new king. But if not for that, who could tell us they didn't die on the monster appearances? I can imagine that after the feast Chil went stright to check on them. Because he loves his daughters, and he cares for his wife. He sucks at communicating it, yes, but he does.

He doesn't want to risk his family's safety. But he, unknowingly, unwillingly, indirectly, did. He got them eaten by those demons because he helped his friends achieve his goal. Because he cared about Falin and wanted her to be human again. Because he cared about Laios and didn'twanted to see him loose his sister. Because he cared about Marcille, Senshi and Itsuzumi. He cares so much about everyone and wants to help everyone (in his own way), that he doesn't think that the result would, inevitably so, be the worst outcome for him. The one in wich work and private life get mixed together. His job as a member of Laios's party ended dragging his family in, despite his best efforts. His job ended up, not only endangering the whole word with demons, but his family. His four precious girls. It ended up almost killing them (probably it killed them for some time because getting eaten by those demons works wierd).

Worst part? He didn't have the time to be mourn over what he 100% sure thought was the complete loss of his family. He was in a hurry to survive himself, so he pushed those sad feelings and tried his best to help who he had left. Later on he finds out that the demons spitted out people. And he seems shocked with some kind of surprised relief.

He looks how everyone that got eaten was alive. And he can't quite either believe it nor understand it. He is really confused. So they didn't die? Are my daughters ok? Is my wife ok? Did everybody survived? Are they alive? He dares to hope that they're all ok and pulls into a box his feelings again, saving it up for when he has the time to be overwhelmed about this all. He has a feast, trying not to worry, but worried sick. Then he goes home and checks on them.

Give this poor man a break and a beer...

[corrodedcoughin]

Eddie forgets his mini figs for hellfire. He’s forgotten them before and everybody makes do with whatever they can find in the club room. He thinks it’ll be the same this time accompanied by the usual complaints but ultimate acceptance so they can get on with the game.

What he doesn’t count on is the fact that Erica Sinclair is now a member of the party. And Erica Sinclair is Always Prepared. That night the hellfire club battle a heinous hell spawn (my little pony Peachblossom) as a rag tag group of adventurers (a sylvanian families selection of a family of bears and a rabbit couple dressed in wedding outfits)

It’s the most bloody session yet and the mini figures are quickly replaced by custom woodland animals in homemade tiny clothes

[botanybulbasaur]

Schneider's family ; The significance of Marian

REVERSE 1999 SPOILERS AHEAD : FOR CHAPTERS 1 AND 2 ! Please tread carefully and make sure you only read about what you're willing to know.

I know we're all still completely in shambles from Chap. 2, but I wanted to make a speculation about Schneider-- and a comment about how well she's written !

Let me start with this: In many pieces of media, viewers, listeners and readers alike are told that a character has people they care for. They're told a character has a lover, a wife, kids, a family, a sister. We're told the same about Schneider: that she has 11 older siblings, and that she works in the mafia to support them.

However, it's very rarely that we're given a name and a face for these supposed loved ones. And even rarer is it that they're written well, not just as a ploy for empathy, but as their own character: Ladies, gentlemen, and esteemed guests: I present to you, Marian.

Marian is one of my favorite characters just as a stand-alone: she's realistic, she's anxious, she clings to Schneider like a lifeline-- but she's brave, too. I'd love to do an in-depth analysis on her another time, but we're here for another reason.

Marian, first of all, shows us what Schneider's family is like. How they were raised, what they believe in, who they depend on. Soft topic, I know, but as someone of Italian lineage, it's very important to me that I point this out: Marian is extremely religious.

Immigrants of every kind tend to be religious. It gives them much more faith than they ever could have: a new lifeline. They managed to make it across such a winding sea? Oh, thank the lord. They haven't been kicked out of the Americas for emigration? Thank you, holy one. There's so many more reasons for this than "they need something they don't have"- maybe the fact that the rendition of god in every religion is said to love everybody, not just those who were born into wealthy families with the bluest eyes and the blondest hair.

When in a moment with no reason, and all different kinds of desperate measures being needed.. Schneider does what her family coaxes her to. She prays.

(I can't find a screenshot, but please refer to the iconic "I didn't know you prayed" scene, and the screenshot directly below this sentence.)

I also want to point out a large difference between Schneider and her family: Schneider's perspective on a 'god' differs so, so much from her family's.

She looks to whoever may be above, in her world, scornfully-- at least, in the present day. In her past, there is a particularly impactful line I want to debunk.

"The god there ... loves the world." Schnider's family seems to believe that god was the one guiding them, the one who will forgive them-- Schneider believed that it was a whole different entity. This kid believes that the god in Sicily, whoever they may be, does not love the world-- and mio dio, if that's not fucked up, I don't know what is.

And, when Schneider comes to America and sees that shit isn't as it's cut off to be, she's resentful of whoever this god may be. She gives a pray as her last bet-- what her family wants.

And it's not that she doesn't believe in this god-- no. She just doesn't believe they love her.

"Finally forgive me" -- Finally being the key word here. She's lived all her life never being treated to mercy or being 'forgiven for her sins' -- and at her most fragile, exposed moment, she relents to what her family has taught her. To what she truly believes-- to Sicily, to Marian, her sorella. Maybe even all 11 sorelle and her parents.

And, again, they're different at face value. Marian is calm, kind. She dresses modest and has her hair grown out: she's timid, too, not befitting of a mafia boss. She's different from her younger sister.. but she's still important. She shows us another side of Schneider: and, more importantly, she shows us what-- no, who Schneider is fighting for.

Marian provides us with extremely beneficial background context of where Schneider comes from-- and, in that process, gives many of us someone to empathize with. Yes, I too know somebody at least a little like her. You do too, likely.

Maybe, you're even like Schneider-- maybe she's someone you'd aim to protect.

,,aaand that's the little lore rant. Whew! Now to study for my math finals. I hope you have a good day :)

[virgothozul]

Ok. I have listened to the people. I have watched the thing. It is very wholesome.

Kazu comes home. He is hopeless and tipsy. And he swings between excited and wasted.

[scodelariokaya]

also that second to last scene with wilhelm finally yelling at kristina and ludvig was everything to me.... they have not been his parents a second in their entire lives they've been absent they've been neglectful they have forced him to hide his emotions and bottle it all up for 16 years they have not let him properly mourn his brother (the brother he's been looking up to the one person in his family he trusted the brother that as it turns out has been an awful person but that's a whole other conversation) they have forced him to make that damn statement and lie to the whole nation as well as deny him of the one relationship he cherished... they have ignored and dismissed his mental health for years despite knowing about his anxiety and panic attacks (meanwhile the queen gets to have a time off duty to deal with her breakdown??? which results in wille having more responsibilites?? responsibilities he didn't want to begin with???)... they have belittled him at every opportunity while bringing up their perfect firstborn son... i am so sick of them... i was genuinely thrilled seeing wille screaming at them and finally acknowledging all of the shitty ways they treated him... it was the most satisfying scene for me (also edvin's brilliant acting >>> like my jaw was on the floor)

[amanitacurses]

[punkkrat]

Nayuta denji familying

[blithesharem]

GOOD MORNING guess who's emotional about Asmo

.

Wake up. Alone.

Cold compress over eyes. Tepid shower. Exfoliate, soothe, hair mask, softening shampoo, deep conditioner.

Serums one through four. Under eye gel. Facial moisturizer. Hand lotion, body lotion, heel lotion.  

Dress, blow dry hair, begin make up. Something light today. Effortless. Brightening, to hide the undereye shadows that just won’t fade these days.

A tap on Belphie’s door, and one on Levi’s, the two hardest to get up up in the morning. Then to the kitchen to start breakfast.

Fruit smoothies with lots of devildom spinach for the iron. A few dozen eggs, most set aside for Beel. Ham and Bacon and toast. Start a pot of coffee that will rotate throughout the morning. Bitter black for Lucifer. Black with a secret sugar cube for Satan. Cream for Mammon, extra sweet for Levi, green tea with honey for the twins.

Another round of wake ups, this time sticking head through door and chiming as bright a greeting as you can manage. Give them something to grumble about, get them moving, maybe even crack a smile. Satan and Lucifer already awake, if they even went to bed. Mammon unresponsive, a sullen lump on his bed, though he’s surely awake as well.

Back to the kitchen. Feed Beel plate one, try to get Belphie to finish dressing (did he fall asleep halfway through putting his sleeve on?)

Smile. Smile. Smile.

Final round. Cajole, threaten, bribe Levi from out his room, making sure he takes his seat even if he’s buried in his hoodie. Snatch the book from Satan’s hands and promise he can have it back at the breakfast table. Sing Lucifer the time and remind him he promised not to leave for work early today. Climb into bed with Mammon and squeeze him close until he feels himself enough to huff embarrassment and follow you into the hall.

Tease, flutter, flirt, giggle. Smile. Smile. Smile.

This is your job. Your duty. Lucifer leads you all, Mammon guards. Levi the unspoken entertainer, Satan the educator. Beel protects and Belphie comforts. You, who can’t do any of that, not to your standards, does this.

Keeps everyone together. Keeps everyone moving. Keeps everyone waiting.

Because you know they’ll be back. You know Solomon could never let you down. You know it’s only a matter of time until your family is whole again. In the meantime, this is how you help. You make sure your brothers are fed. Make sure they sleep, and shower, and brush their hair. Make sure they bicker, and fight and occasionally even laugh.

You make sure that when they come home at the end of the day, there is always a home waiting for them.

[radarchives]