#this happens Every Fucking Year

[thedreadvampy]

god fucking damnit once again I have been asking for necessary information for WEEKS and now we've missed deadline and everyones mad at me bc stuff has to go to the printer without management feeding in and they're like WHY HAVEN'T I SEEN THIS BEFORE and I'm like BECAUSE IT'S EXISTED FOR HALF AN HOUR BECAUSE NOBODY TAKES MY WARNINGS ABOUT DEADLINES SERIOUSLY UNTIL AFTER THEY'VE PASSED.

[bioethicists]

every time a new SA allegation of a favored celeb arises, i'm reminded of the absolutely soul-crushing experience of the depp/heard trial in which i learned that dozens of ppl i loved + respected + trusted were also willing to engage in the basest form of misogyny if the woman Seemed Crazy Enough. there was a horrifying 2ish weeks on this website + much longer irl where i genuinely felt unsafe voicing my discomfort as i relived something eerily reminiscent of the aftermath of my own assaults playing out on screen, commented on by true crime youtubers like it was a red sox game.

it happens time + time again with every new allegation + it's truly the most agonizing + exhausting part of being a survivor. i am begging you all to consider that survivors are watching you engage with this stuff like theater + it erodes our trust in all of you + compounds our grief.

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[livingasaghost]

i was literally soooo close to getting through halloween without feeling Bad and it found me anyway!!!!! goddamn

[evilkaeya]

THIS IS HOW I FIND OUT KAITO AND SHINICHI ARE COUSINS??

[cowboyunderscore]

les mis hyperfixation in our year of the lord 2024 is so bad guys. guys help. guys.

[navree]

Incorrect, the fact that Biden has dropped out and a candidate with history of supporting medicare for all and being more receptive to a ceasefire in the I/P conflict has made me go from "I cannot morally support the Democratic nominee" to "I am voting for the Democratic nominee despite the fact she isn't perfect in every respect." I'm really happy this played out. The Dems for the most part abandoned the old Obama platform and it feels like its possible an actual progressive agenda could come to pass in my lifetime.

Kamala 2024!

If you weren't going to vote Democratic in this election before Biden dropped out you're a dorkass loser who does not care about any of the issues you're yammering about here and also a fundamentally bad person, and I hope you get run over by a bus.

But you got one thing right in all of this gibberish, Kamala 2024.

[kantush]

Does anyone here remember Protocreed......

It's a dead crack ship that fucks me over to this day.

(so srry for invoking this but I'm going down memory lane and remembered this ship existed and y'all the way it had a hold on me in the golden age of Tumblr. Can't believe this was my first crack ship. And now that I know how to art, I realized what's stopping me from drawing a nostalgic ship. )

[shivroy]

what if the tomshiv baby wasn't aborted and turned out to be just like a weird cunt. this is my unadulterated vision

[diamondcitydarlin]

hey i had a wild and crazy idea, just bear with me here bro, but maybe if you're beetlebabes dni you should try not going in the tags constantly to announce that to everyone who is the exact thing you're trying not to interact with. idk just a thought! like consider that we all know you exist, no one who has shipped beetlebabes for any amount of time is unaware that there are people who find the pairing and the people who ship it disgusting. i know that this new film must have all of yall huffing massive amounts of copium to deal with it all, but you could also just, yknow, not interact with it at all. not talk about it. stay in the lane of things you actually like instead of treading on other people's fun bc your disgust with it makes you feel entitled to try to shut it down. just put it in your bio if you feel that strongly about it and move on with your life maybe? choose happiness instead of bitterness? focus on improving yourself and your life instead of trying to play fandom cop every day? just thoughts, do with them what you will!

[xxplastic-cubexx]

so like do you think they made the plastic wheelchair ALONGSIDE the plastic prison as a Just In Case situation, only after they realized charles was going to be a frequent visitor, or both as in because they knew charles was going to be the only person visiting him during planning they decided to make him a chair ahead of time

[wanderingchocolateeclair]

SO LIKE. HHHHHHH?????

SORRY FOR THE AMOUNT OF YELLING THAT IS ABOUT TO FLOOD OUT FROM ME BUT I CANNOT- I SIMPLY. I-

CAN YOU TELL???? IM GOING MAD. IM GOING INSANE. SIMPLY LOSING IT. PURELY UNFATHOMABLE SCREECHING FROM THE PASTRY THAT IS IN MY BRAIN, IT HAS TURNED TO MUSH.

FIRSTLY -> SHINYA IS SO PRETTY, THANK YOU BONES FOR DOING HIM JUSTICE

SECONDLY -> MY BOYS ARE ON SCREEN. THEYRE HERE. THEYRE ANIMATED.

THIRDLY -> EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS IS BEAUTIFUL.

The way he is looking at him. FUCKING BEAUTIFUL.

THE WAY THEYRE LOOKING AT EACH OTHER HELLO???? THE SOFTNESS?????? IM LOSING MY SHIT???????? SHINYAS SMILE????????? head in hands my head is in my hands

THEY ADDED A PANEL, I REPEAT THEY ADDED ONE. look at them......look at how small and adorable they are- LOOK AT SHINYAS SMILE????? HES SO HAPPY!!!!! HIS SCARF IS RED!!!!!

just look at these idiots doing surgery on the battlefield. just two guys, performing heart surgery, as you do. Jeanist isnt taking his eyes off of shinya because he knows what hes doing without eVEN HAVING TO LOOK

[chromatoghosts]

man i remember when nevermore first came out i was sad it was so underrated.. but now after all the drama, i wish it had stayed underrated, because a big fanbase (especially one with a lot of minors) ALWAYS brings drama

[a-room-of-my-own]

It's impossible to find a video about fashion history without an airhead who self-identifies as a fashion historian - because she LARPs on week-ends and owns a sewing machine - inserting a 5 minutes tirade in defense of corsets.

[void-and-virtue]

Imagine the Monsters watching soccer together during the start of Kevin’s stay in Palmetto bc Nicky is a fan thanks to Erik and being cooked in the living in Germany soup for like a year and it just ends up as

Andrew: Hey Kevin look, look, a sport that doesn't even need hands, maybe a new career for you?

Kevin, hand still in a cast, bristling: Fuck you

[wonder-worker]

I've been thinking about the tragedy of Elizabeth Woodville living to see the end of her family name.

I don't mean her family with her husband, which lived on through her daughter and grandson. I mean her own.

Her sisters died, one by one, many of them after 1485. When Elizabeth died, only Katherine was left, and she would die before the turn of the century as well.

All her brothers died, too. Lewis died in childhood. John was executed. Anthony was murdered. Lionel died suddenly in the peak of Richard's reign, unable to see his niece become queen. Edward perished at war. Richard died in grieving peace. For all the violence and judgement the family endured, it was "an accident of biology" that ended their line: none of the brothers left heirs, and the Woodville name was extinguished. We know the family was aware of this. We know they mourned it, too:

“Buy a bell to be a tenor at Grafton to the bells now there, for a remembrance of the last of my blood.”

Elizabeth lived through the deposition and death of her young sons, and lived to see the end of her own family name. It must have been such a haunting loss, on both sides.