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safertokiss · 4 years

Text

Through a Different Lens

A/N: Well, well, well. Lookie what we have here. New content wowza. I’d say I’m surprised it’s been a while, but I simply am not. Luckily another fic swap has arrived to get my creative juices flowing once again. The gods have gifted me with another perfect opportunity to write sub spence because I was given @writing-in-april as my person yet again. Hooray! Anyways I hope you enjoy and thanks all you cool cats and kittens for the support (we almost to 1000 yeet skrrt). Also, it just happens to be my birthday today so as a gift to myself I thought about subby Spencer for a while.

Pairing: SPENCER x READER

Category: SMUT and can’t forget that fluff

Word Count: 3.2k

ENJOY:)

~~~

It all started completely by accident.

There was no possible way that she would’ve been able to predict just how much they would affect the poor kid.

She could remember, clear as day, the first time she was forced to wear her glasses to the bureau due to her ongoing frustrations with the torture devices that were also referred to as contacts. There were only so many headaches and eye-waterings that she could take before the insecurity of wearing her frames to work shriveled below the point of caring anymore.

But none of those previous insecurities held a flame to the amount of confusion she felt when she entered the bullpen and waltzed over to Spencer’s desk to say good morning with a shy smile adorning her face. Y/n hadn’t even been able to get a complete sentence out before the young doctor had turned to her and froze, his mouth hanging open like a fish, his eyes widening to the size of dinner plates, the harsh red blush she had seen before, just maybe not to this extent, engulfing his boyish features.

Before she could even attempt to ask him what she had done to warrant such a response, he was spouting out a meager, “H-hey Y/n” whilst simultaneously scurrying off in the direction of the nearest bathroom.

Completely and utterly perplexed over what had happened, she had shrugged it off and made her way back to her desk, silently mulling over the interaction periodically throughout the rest of the day.

It was a couple of the same type of interactions later that Y/n began to take notice of what was actually happening with the boy genius. The stiff and unnatural posture. The stuttering, granted that wasn’t something new, just much more frequent and severe. The audible heartbeat always accompanied by rosy cheeks and goosebumps.

Spencer Reid was fucking turned on by the glasses.

And he didn’t even try to hide it. Or maybe he did and was just really, really bad at doing so.

Either way, Y/n quickly discovered just how much fun it was getting these reactions to pour out of the kid...so of course she kept wearing the glasses even after she was able to wear contacts again. He didn’t need to know that.

It was so fucking easy too.

She would just be sitting at her desk, occupied by some particularly troubling pages of a case file that makes her have to readjust her frames out of stress, when she’d hear a high pitched squeak across the bullpen, followed by the pattering of frantic footsteps she had familiarized herself with in former few weeks.

While she felt some kind of guilt for putting him through this, it was nowhere near enough to overtake the genuine excitement and gratification that came with knowing she could have such an effect on the adorable doctor.

Of course she found him attractive...how could she not with his perfectly sculpted cheekbones and nerdy slicked back hair. Ultimately Y/n could understand his apparent infatuation with her wearing glasses as she had caught herself, on more than a couple occasions, openly ogling his own specs.

Maybe they were both weirdos...the whole situation was almost as strange as the Converse kink that she secretly harbored for years. Although her intuition was quick to suggest that, just maybe, both of her unique infatuations stemmed from the same noodle-shaped source.

Perhaps her favorite reaction of his, though, came about during the little office birthday party that the entire team had thrown for him.

He looked so adorable in the gigantic birthday cake hat they had bestowed upon him, Y/n could hardly contain her giggles at the giddy smile adorning his face. She watched on in amusement as Spencer tried desperately to get the candles on his cake to extinguish, to no avail, at least until someone felt bad watching his struggles and decided to give him a hand.

“They’re trick candles Spence, they’re gonna come back on every time.”, JJ chuckled, subtly smirking at Morgan who was also enjoying Spencer’s ongoing struggles.

A couple “happy birthdays” later and the rest of the team slowly began to disperse, leaving just Y/n and him alone in their own little space. He must’ve noticed this too because the blush that had already been present throughout the celebration beforehand seemed to deepen even further as he visibly swallowed down his nerves.

Slowly stalking towards the rouge kissed boy, she dragged a couple of her fingers across the surface of the desk, noting the way his eyes briefly flicked down to follow the movement before hesitantly returning his gaze to match her own.

She also noted the way his knuckles were basically turning white from the amount of pressure he was using to grab the sides of the chair.

“You have a good birthday, Spence?”, Y/n drawled with a teasing smile, now standing directly before the trembling young man.

Seeming to snap out of whatever sort of trance he had been in, he hastily cleared out his throat before responding with a bit of trepidation. “Hmm...yeah-yes uh yes it was v-very good, than-thank you.”

She couldn’t even attempt to conceal the smirk that had made its way to her lips listening to the genius stutter through his words. Such a nervous, nervous boy. So adorable. So fucking hot.

“Well that makes me happy. I’m glad you enjoyed yourself pretty boy.”, she paused her thoughts soaking in the little hitches in his breath surely from how close she was standing near him and the added nickname. Deciding to play a little bit dirty, she leaned over directly into his line of sight to reach for the cake set before him.

“Now how about I take this away and cut it up for all of us to eat? Hmmm?”

His eyes darted immediately to the cleavage that was so graciously presented to him as she bent over to pick up the dessert, a sharp little gasp escaping his pretty, pink lips as his pupils dilated carelessly.

Y/n inwardly smirked at his reaction and began walking towards the kitchenette, but only made it about three or four steps before being interrupted.

“Did you know that in some instances birthday candles are safe for wax play?”, he exclaimed before seemingly realizing what had just escaped his lips, his hands flying up to cover his traitorous mouth.

Bewildered, in the best of ways, by what had just been said, she slowly swiveled back around, facing him once again, before placing the cake on the desk beside her.

“What was that Spencer?”, she grinned at the petrified man who hadn’t made a single noise since his unexpected declaration. The poor thing looked like a caged in animal with nowhere to escape. Perfect.

“N-nothing! I m-mean obviously it was um s-something, but j-just uh just forget what I s-said.”, he quickly explained while frantically shaking his hands as if he was hoping he could simply wipe your memory of the last minute or two away permanently.

“No, no please go on.”, she teased. “Now I’m intrigued. What did you mean by ‘in some instances’ Spence?”

She wasn’t expecting the look of confusion, however brief it was, that peeked its way through the overwhelming embarrassment that had been showcased on his face, as if he truly couldn’t fathom that someone was actually asking him to go into more detail about a topic.

Still didn’t change the fact that he was completely mortified.

Clearing his throat, he hesitantly lifted his gaze back to Y/n’s, seemingly debating with himself over whether he could articulate the words to come out or not.

“Um...well..usually many p-people who choose to e-engage in such act-activities will use specific types of c-candles that are uh more designed especially for pl-play.”, he paused and she drank up the way his Adam's apple bobbed along his throat. “Uh… basically depending on the t-type of candle that one u-uses, the amount of pain or um d-discomfort differs. B-birthday candles tend to b-be on the more painful side so only the couples who are in-into that kind of thing would ever really utilize t-them.”, he finished abruptly, his leg bouncing rapidly in her line of vision.

She still couldn’t really believe she had actually gotten him to say anything at all, nevermind an in depth analysis on wax play. In a weird way she was proud of him. Really proud. Sometime amidst her thoughts, she’d found herself standing directly behind his sitting figure, her hands resting on either side of him against the table, the goosebumps visible on his skin from the implications of the position they were currently in.

“That’s really intriguing Spencer. I’d love to find out someday just why it is you know so much about the subject, but I don’t want to make you go into cardiac rest anytime soon.”, she remarked, giggling at the shy smile that made its way to his mouth.

She didn’t even register reaching out to lightly touch his lips until she heard his sharp intake of breath. Until he turned his head so they were mere centimeters apart. Until she watched his puppy eyes dart between her lips and your frame covered gaze. Until the space between them seemed to be lessening with every sec-

“Hey pretty boy! Where’s my cake?”

Y/n grudgingly pulled back at the interruption, watching in amusement as Spencer’s body instinctively leaned forward as if his lips hadn’t gotten the memo and were still searching for hers. “It’s coming right up you lazy ass!” she yelled back with a grin on her face.

She looked back to the boy sitting before her and was almost mesmerized by the dazed look present on his face, the blush slowly retreating as he came back to his surroundings. She could tell there were words that he wanted to say, but they just didn’t seem to be forming fast enough to actually come out. Deciding to put their little moment on hold before he passed out, she walked back over to the neglected dessert and started heading towards the break room again.

“I’ll make sure to save you the biggest piece, Spence.”,she threw over her shoulder, chuckling at the bewildered look still that was still present on his face.

~~~

The day was a big success in her opinion.

Spencer looked even more like a child than usual with the big shit eating grin that remained throughout the celebration and the bulky hat that he refused to take off. She could never understand how someone could have such an affinity for sugar as she watched him devour the huge slice of cake she had carved up for him.

But hours later, it was just her and Spencer left in the building.

And she was not about to let that go to waste.

Y/n could see him from where she stood at the entrance to the kitchenette. She could see the way he slouched over his desk with his legs curled underneath him, criss cross applesauce, as he scribbled down whatever case file he was working on. She admired his determined work ethic, that’s for sure.

But now was simply not the time to work.

Spencer immediately froze as soon as her body situated itself to be leaning against his desk, painfully aware of her gaze on his tense form.

“H-hey Y/n.”, he nervously murmured, the stutter once again making her giddy.

“Hey yourself doc. Wanna tell me why it is you’re still here working at such a late hour? Doesn’t the elusive Spencer Reid have better things to be entertaining himself with?”, she drawled, her piercing gaze making the poor kid squirm before her eyes.

“Oh um no...n-not really. I actually don’t mind working late. It’s k-kind of therapeutic in a way. But um...I’m happy t-that you’re here w-with me.”, he whispered the last part as if he was scared you wouldn’t appreciate his gratitude.

But she appreciated it more than he knew.

Noticing the little pencil holder situated amongst the file stacks on his desk, an idea popped into her mind that she just couldn’t shake, prompting her to pick it up and begin fiddling with it.

“Oh is that so pretty boy? Does my presence satisfy you?” Before he could even attempt an answer she “accidently” dropped the holder on the ground, the array of pens and pencils dispersing among the floor. “Oops my bad.”

Spencer immediately scrambled out of his seat and onto the floor to start collecting the colorful writing utensils, the perfect distraction needed for Y/n to situate herself on his desk with her legs spread open directly in front of his face.

“D-don’t worry abou-”, his sentence cut off as he looked up and was met with the tantalizing sight of her white lace panties already damp with her excitement. She swore he could die happy with the way his eyes widened and cheeks flushed. She couldn’t help but chuckle lightly.

“See something you like baby?” Unable to even form words, the young doctor slowly nodded his head, eyes still locked on the obvious wet spot between her open legs.

“C-can I..can I um…”

“Use your words baby boy. Can you what?”, she spoke clearly, grasping his chin so he’d look her in the eyes.

“C-can I taste you?” She couldn't get over the desperate way he spoke as if he’d die of thirst if he didn’t get a drink from her.

“Of course you can sweet b-” Not even letting the words leave her mouth, his hands were eagerly pulling her panties down and off her legs, his lips instantly connecting with the heated flesh at the apex of her thighs. She swore his tongue and lips were enchanted with the way he was able to effortlessly maneuver his way around, easily picking up on what she loved.

“Oh Spencer you’re such a good boy.” she couldn’t resist threading her fingers through his silky hair and tugging slightly, an action she assumed he enjoyed based on the muffled whine she heard from between her thighs.

It hadn’t even been more than a few minutes before she found herself already on the verge of letting go. No guy had ever been able to make her feel this good and just electric until now. He was quickly ruining her for anyone else in the future. She did not mind in the slightest.

“Baby I really wanna feel you inside me. Is that something you want sweetheart?”

He reluctantly pulled back after a few more kitten licks to her clit, wide eyes finding hers and whimpering out a broken “yes”. More than happy with his response she gently pulled him up by his hair and started undoing his belt, his oversized pants easily falling down without the extra support. Just another thing about him that she had come to adore. She was very pleased by the obvious bulge that protruded through his baby blue checkered boxers.

Before she pulled those down too, though, she very gently reached up and cupped his cheeks, guiding his plump lips to her own, basking in the delighted whimpers that escaped his mouth at the soft but passionate contact. She released his lips with a slight nip and proceeded with his clothing removal, coaxing him to sit down in the swirly chair he had been previously residing in, before straddling his lap.

“You ready sweet boy?”, she asked leaning forward to kiss his rouge forehead and cheeks.

“Mhmm I’m r-ready.”

Taking that as the go ahead, she cautiously positioned herself over his throbbing erection before slowly lowering herself inch by inch until he was completely enveloped by her tight, warm walls.

“Oh-ohh my.”, he whimpered at the overwhelming feeling of being connected so intimately. Gently, she started to move a bit more, hesitantly lifting up before lowering herself back down, flush against his lap, one of her soft hands anchoring herself to his shoulder while the other caressed his flushed cheeks.

“I know baby, I know. You feel so good baby boy I don’t think I’m going to be able to last much longer.”

“M-me neither.”, he stuttered as the pace she had previously set seemed to increase in speed, the excitement and ecstasy getting to the both of them and subconsciously pushing the two of them closer to their shared release.

The fire was quickly building within her body and she knew she was truly crumbling at the seams, but with the way his body was trembling and his dick was subtly twitching inside of her she knew he was right there too.

“It’s ok baby boy, it’s ok. Cum for me sweet boy. I want you to cum inside and fill up my pussy Spence.”, she muttered feeling the beginning of her end crash unexpectedly throughout her entire being, grasping onto the boy underneath her to tie herself to the earth.

Overwhelmed by the utter euphoria of Y/n cumming around him, Spencer let himself get thrown off the edge, his hands tightening on her waist hard enough she was sure little bruises would form come tomorrow, not that she minded at all.

“Oh Y/n!” She watched on, obsessed with the way that his mouth fell open in a little o-shape as his eyes squeezed shut, the tell tale signs of pleasure coursing through his veins, the warm feeling that he left deep inside of her as she gently lifted herself from his shaking legs, reaching for her panties before the warmth was able to escape down her damp thighs.

Looking back at the trembling boy after cleaning herself and him up, she couldn’t help but melt at the lovesick, puppy dog eyes he was giving her, prompting her to lean forward and leave more little kisses on the top of his damp hair.

“That was incredible Spence. Really incredible. I’ve never felt anything like that before baby.”

She melted even further at the way he shyly dropped his head to somewhat hide the wide grin that had spread like wildfire across his face. There was a comfortable silence between the two of them before his head lifted with a questioning glance.

“How’d you-I mean uh how did you know that I liked you?” There was no way she could control the giggles that left her lips at his silly question.

“You weren’t exactly subtle with the whole glasses thing Spence.”

And then the only sound heard throughout the building was her full blown laughter at the mortification that speedily adorned his cherry cheeks.

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prolestariwrites · 3 years

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Ashes [Chapter 1] by lickitysplit

Fandom: Resident Evil Characters: Jill Valentine/Carlos Oliveira Rating: M (Mature)

Summary: A year after the destruction of Raccoon City, Jill is ready to put the past in the past and get back to her life. When she and Chris are recruited to go after Wesker, it seems like the perfect opportunity... until she's partnered with the last person she ever wanted to see again.

Read below or on AO3 ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

Jill jumps when a hand presses to her arm, and she swings her gaze from the window. She relaxes immediately when she registers it was just Chris, slumping a bit in the back of the taxi as she catches her breath.

“You okay?” he asks, half-concerned and half-laughing.

��Yeah. Wool gathering.” She shakes herself and blinks at him. “What is it?”

“Just wanted to check,” he says. “You seem nervous.”

Jill chuckles a bit to hide her nerves that are very much on edge. “Nah,” she scoffs, shifting in her seat to adjust her seatbelt.

“I get it if you are. I mean it’s not every day we meet with the feds.”

“Maybe for you,” she laughs, “but I saw plenty the past eight months or so. No big deal.”

Chris’ lips press together in that look he gets when she makes light of Raccoon City. But he nods and turns to look straight ahead as the taxi weaves through the traffic. “Still…”

“Don’t tell me you’re nervous,” Jill says, keeping her tone light. “You’ve been meeting every official who’s crawled out of the woodwork. This should be a cakewalk for you.”

“County, yeah. State sometimes. But the DOJ?” Chris shakes his head. “This is gonna be big. I can feel it.”

Jill folds her arms and turns to look out the window again. He’s probably right; Chris usually is.

The taxi pulls up outside of a slick-looking office complex, and Chris pays the fare as Jill climbs out. She holds her hand up for shade against the late morning sun that is reflected brightly off the windowed stories. “Looks like something the feds would waste money on,” she comments after he joins her on the sidewalk.

Chris chuckles before giving her a nudge. “Let’s go.”

They pass through metal detectors that are set off by Chris’ weapon, which he surrenders at reception while they present their ID’s. Jill eyes the Glock almost longingly as it is tagged and set inside a locker, scowling a bit as Chris is handed a ticket to retrieve it later. It’s not fair that he’s been allowed to keep his weapons while she hasn’t, but that is an argument she’s been having with anyone who cares to listen for months. Not that it's gotten her anywhere.

She takes her license back from the receptionist before being pointed towards the elevators. They wait in silence until the doors open, and when they step inside Chris presses the button for the fifth floor. “Did you read the stuff I sent you on this guy?” he asks once the elevator begins to move.

“Yeah,” Jill replies. “Agent Donner, DOJ, blah blah. Probably wants to ask us about everything again, like we haven’t told them everything we know about Umbrella a thousand times.”

Jill can practically feel him give her a side-eye, which does little to help her already dampened mood. “Maybe not.”

“If it was just you, maybe not. But all I’m good for now is giving blood samples apparently. Can’t let the bioweapon have a badge.”

Her tone is harsh, and she hates taking it out on Chris. It’s not his fault that he’s been allowed to keep working, now reporting to the county since Raccoon City is gone. But it still stings that whatever powers-that-be that still exist won’t trust her to come on full time as an agent. Nobody knows Umbrella more than the former S.T.A.R.S. team, and as one of the surviving members, it’s beyond frustrating that she’s the only one not allowed to actually do anything.

The elevator dings and they step into another reception area. The secretary offers them something to drink before heading down a hallway, leaving them to wait. Jill examines the pictures on the wall, most of which are group photos of recruitment teams by year, alongside a handful of formal portraits of agents in dress attire. A pang presses sharp into her stomach, thinking of the similar memorial wall in the police station. Do all law enforcement groups have such traditions? Jill had never thought to wonder before.

“Agent Redfield!” They both turn as a man enters from the hallway, walking over to shake Chris’ hand. “I’ve heard so much about you. Welcome.”

“Thanks.”

“And Miss Valentine,” he continues, turning to her with his hand outstretched. “A pleasure.”

“Agent Valentine,” she corrects as she returns the shake.

He clears his throat. “Of course. Henry Donner. Let me show you where we’ll be meeting.”

They exchange a glance before following Donner down a long hallway. At the end is a meeting room, and conversation stops as they are introduced to a handful of other agents. Two are also from the Justice department, one from FEMA, and the final one is an FBI agent. It annoys her how Chris seems impressed, taking a seat quickly once the introductions are done.

“Do you need anything? Coffee?” Donner offers.

Chris declines but Jill decides to get to the point. “Why are we here?” she asks.

Donner clears his throat. “As you can imagine, the United States government is interested in finding all responsible parties for the unfortunate incident in Raccoon City. The FBI and the Department of Justice have been working closely together to track down the former executives of Umbrella, as well as information on any and all scientists who were knowingly or even unknowingly working on bioweapons.

“The search is going well,” he continues. “We’ve taken dozens of people into custody, and thankfully many former employees of Umbrella have come forward to volunteer information.” Donner glances around the room. “However, the investigation is not moving as quickly as the department, or even the president, would like. That’s why we’ve asked you here.”

Jill sighs. This seems like another afternoon of questions going hours on end, and she tries to think of a way to shut it down quickly. “What do you want exactly?”

“Your help, Miss— Agent Valentine,” he replies with a little wink.

Jill narrows her eyes as Chris quickly interjects, “We’ve given dozens of interviews. They’ve been recorded and on tape, we’ve handed over everything we know from our investigations. What more can we give you?”

“Agent Shields?” Donner prompts.

The one from the FBI stands, walking around the table as he carries a folder. “We’re prepared to bring you both on in an official capacity. Not as members of the department, mind—that would be impossible giving the time constraints. Rather, you would be sworn in as ad hoc agents, to assist with finding one particular suspect.”

Shields lays the folder down in front of Chris, and he opens it as he moves it so Jill can also see. Her eyes go wide as they fall on the picture paperclipped to the front cover. “Wesker?” she asks in confusion, looking up.

“He’s dead,” Chris argues. “He was killed in the Arklay Mountains.”

“We have reason to suspect he is alive,” Shields replies.

There is a moment of silence as Jill absorbs the information. Wesker, alive? Images of the mansion and the last time she had seen him form a grotesque slideshow in her mind. “That bastard,” she mutters. “He started this. He’s behind all of this.”

“How do you know he’s alive?” Chris demands.

“There’s intelligence the federal government has received that he’s been spotted overseas,” Donner replies. “I can’t indulge too much, but his identity was confirmed via DNA. Only…” He clears his throat, glancing at the other agents. “There were markers in his DNA that indicate some kind of mutation. We’re working with FEMA and the CDC to identify exactly what and how he has mutated, and there is suspicion that it’s an ongoing condition. Which is why we must find him, and fast. There’s no telling what he has, and what he can spread.”

Donner glances at her, and Jill’s face heats. “If he was infected with something, you’d know it,” she says. “It’s not like the infected were hard to miss in Raccoon City.”

“We know it’s not the T-virus,” the FEMA agent interrupts.

“It’s a yet-unidentified strain,” Donner continues. “Further intelligence from other Raccoon City survivors confirm at least one other Umbrella strain exists, known as the G-virus. Whatever is in Wesker, it’s neither of those, as we have samples of both.” He nods at Jill before saying, “You have antibodies from the vaccine you were given, as does Sherry Birkin, another survivor who had been inflicted with the G-virus. But we can’t say for sure that Wesker has such a precaution. And until we know for sure, we need him in custody, or else the entire world is at risk.”

Jill’s heart pounds as she looks back down at the file. Finally, a chance to do something, get the hell out of the lab and her cramped apartment where she’s under near-constant surveillance. A smile curls on her lips as she thinks of finding Wesker and bringing him in, right after she puts her foot right up his ass.

“So you’re sending us to find Wesker?” Chris asks. “Why us?”

She resists the urge to poke him. “Do you want to do this or not?” she hisses.

“Of course I do. I’ve been wanting to get my hands on Wesker since that damn mansion.” He frowns at Donner. “You have every agent probably looking for him. So why us?”

“Chris.”

“It’s a fair question,” Donner says. “Truth is, we’ve been chasing him for well over a month. There’s just not enough information to get a lock on him. We can’t predict his movements, and with almost everything from Umbrella now destroyed, we’re fumbling in the dark trying to guess his associates, his contacts, find his safe houses.”

Shields leans against the table and taps on Wesker’s picture. “You two worked with him. You know him, his movements, how he thinks. We’re confident if we put you in the field, you’ll be able to identify the right movements for the department.”

Jill is nearly vibrating with excitement. “You’re going to deputize us then?”

Donner nods, and Jill grins, giving Chris an elbow. “Come on, Redfield, don’t you want to partner with me again?”

He gives her a wry look, but Donner shakes his head. “You won’t be partnering together. That was the original plan, but things have changed.”

Jill’s brows go up as Chris looks unconvinced. “What changed?”

“New intelligence points to Wesker making contact with an arms dealer,” Shields explains. “Seems like he’s running out of cash and needs to sell a few secrets. Problem is, we don’t know which dealer.”

“We’ve narrowed it down to two,” Donner finishes. “You’ll both be sent on recon with an escort. Interpol is also interested in securing Wesker, and we’ve been given additional support from the UN to find him.”

Now even Jill is impressed. “Interpol? Really?” She decides she doesn’t care what Chris says; this is too good to pass up. “I’m in. I’ll do it.”

“Me too,” Chris agrees, closing the file. “Finding Wesker is what’s important.”

“Great!” Donner rubs his hands together as he stands. “Let’s get started then. You’ll need to fill out some paperwork, get briefings, and we’ll take care of onboarding this afternoon. Follow me.”

They say their goodbyes and follow Donner out again, who takes them back towards the elevator. “Oh, wait here,” he says once they return to the reception area. “I need to get a few things. Then I’ll take you down for processing.”

As soon as they are alone, Jill turns to Chris with eyes wide with excitement. “Can you believe this?” she whispers. “The fucking FBI is sending us on a mission. We’re working with fucking Interpol. Can you believe this?”

“No,” Chris chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck. “This is the last thing I expected. I mean, can they do this?”

“It’s the government, they can do whatever the hell they want.” Jill sighs, her eyes closing briefly. “Finally, I’m going to get back to my life. I’ve been sitting around for months as they’ve poked and prodded and ran every test on me, and even with a clean bill of health they still won’t let me go back to police work.” Jill smirks to herself, folding her arms. “Bet that county sheriff is gonna eat his words now. Not cleared for duty my ass . Can’t wait for the prick to find out I’m an FBI agent now.”

Chris gives a snort as Jill enjoys her moment of smugness when Donner returns. “Perfect timing! Your partners just finished their own briefing, let me introduce you—Redfield, this is—”

But Jill doesn’t hear the rest, because as she turns, her smile melts into surprise when she sees Carlos Oliveira standing in front of her.

He looks exactly the same, without the blood and grime. Same curly hair that is way too long and falling into his eyes; same dark eyes that remind her of a puppy dog, eager and bright; same build, tall and broad and definitely a soldier. Her face heats as they stare at one another for a long moment until Carlos breaks into a grin. “Supercop! Are you kidding me? How are you?”

Before she can answer he sweeps her up into a hug, and Jill gives an oof as she is squeezed tightly against him. His arms are solid and his grip is strong as he presses his cheek to hers, but Jill is in too much shock to return the embrace. When he finally releases her, he keeps his hands pressed to her arms, smiling wide as he looks her up and down. “Thought they were messing with me. I can’t believe it’s really you! You look great!”

Jill stammers, “C-Carlos? What are you doing here?”

She looks around for an answer. Chris and the other guy are chatting, but Donner gives a nod. “I thought it would be a good idea partnering the two of you,” he says. “Oliveira’s been working with the UN in establishing protocol for viral outbreaks around the world.”

“I’m a liaison,” Carlos grins. “Pretty sweet, huh?”

“But you…”

She shakes her head to clear it, not even sure what to say. Thankfully, Carlos releases her arms, turning to Chris with his hand outstretched. “Redfield. Heard a lot about you. Nice to meet you, man.”

“Uh, same,” Chris answers awkwardly, glancing at Jill. “You’re the one that rescued Jill in Raccoon City, right?”

“I rescued him,” she mutters.

“Yeah, supercop here saved my ass more than a few times.” He pats the other man on the shoulder. “You teaming up with Nathan here? That’s awesome.”

“But what are you doing here?” Jill asks, louder this time.

All four men look at her. She can feel the color blooming on her neck, but she refuses to be the first to glance away. She had not gone through all the shit from the past year and a half, hell the past ten years : surviving the army, putting up with every comment and remark when training for Delta Force, fighting and clawing her way to prove that she was more than a girl with a gun, surviving a zombie apocalypse and a damned nuclear bomb to be ignored now.

“Well?” she demands.

“What do you mean?” Carlos laughs. “We’re partners again. Ain’t that great news?”

Partners. With Carlos Oliveira. The last man on Earth she had ever wanted to see again.

#resident evil #resident evil 3 #re3 #Carlos Oliveira #Jill Valentine #valeveira #carlos x jill #fan fiction #ashes

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rawbins-undertale-blog · 3 years

Note

hello there!!

i got 2 questions, hope you don't mind!

1. do you have any xreader fic/author recomendations? i'd love to read whatever you reccomend. it could be either here on tumblr or ao3

2. is there an anon list? if not, could you perhaps make one? if the answer is yes, may i become 🌌 (galaxy) or 🪐 (planet) anon?

thank you, have a great day!!

2. Answering this first because it's way shorter: I actually have no clue what an anon list is, but ofc!! You can be galaxy anon if you want, I don't mind :-D (Please do explain what an anon list is to me though lol, because I'm 99% sure I'd be A-okay with doing that)

1. Oooh I have so many!!! List under the cut lol (and I definitely forgot a lot, too 😭)

Let's start off with my most recent, Special Toppings. It's a really funny one and I've read it like, 5 times now. Basically, Edge (undersell Papyrus) hires a stripper while drunk to come to his brother's bachelor party (who Red/underfell Sans is marrying is never stated btw) and it's great. I'd also recommend going through all other fics written by this author. :-) Read it here.

Then, we have Fairytale Complex which is ongoing right now! I'm a few chapters behind at the moment, but as far as I've read it's really good! Basic premise is that you're Frisk's parent, and you're dealing with the monsters and the fact that they hurt your kid. This one gets, like, 29889 bonus points for the reader insert being gender-neutral. Read it here.

This one isn't for everyone, but There's Still Magic is also pretty interesting to me! Major TW for abuse, manipulation and other things like that though, as it's a pretty big theme in the story. Basically, your friend Taylor has offered you to live with her in this big house with her reverse harem of skeleton boyfriends, but it's... not great there for you. Taylor's an ass to the skeletons in the house and they're kept firmly in her manipulative hold, minus Mutt (Rus). The characters are a bit OOC in my opinion, but it's a good fic so I still recommend it! Read it here.

Then, we have ANIME IS REAL! It's really fun and I like it. Basically, Sans shows up at your doorstep (and, mind you, we're in our universe, so up until this point, we've only thought of him as a fictional character) and whoops, now you're in a mansion with the classic gang of skeletons. Very enjoyable. Read it here.

Until That Day Comes is probably my favourite right now, though. It's still ongoing, and I'm really curious to see where it's all headed! Basically, the fic starts with you waking up after... something, and after being missing for a while, with a case of amnesia. As it turns out, you're married to Sans, but you don't remember that at all. While this is going on, you're closing yourself off from all these "strangers" that are trying to help you and searching for your "sister"... I wonder if the sister even exists. Regardless, the plot is immaculate and the drama is to die for. Also the author, Sneakyfox55, has great taste in music and is a real cool person, so I'm just saying it'd be funny if we all pranked them by being real mean and leaving nice comments 🤷 Read it here.

This one is really long - (The Last of the) Real Ones. I feel like telling you too much upfront would ruin the whole fic, so I'll just give you the slightest explanation that is so vague it won't help, but: AU characters are appearing, and you're sent on a mission to collect them. That's all I'm going to say, but if you're the type who likes the reverse harems, this is for you. I really like this one! The reader-insert really isn't my type of character (plus minus points for it being a female reader), but I'm willing to let it slide because the story is so damn good. Read it here.

Super interesting - A Splash of Purple. Basically, you're a witness to a murder and Swapfell Sans is a cop investigating. I can't say much more, but it's a fun read! Still ongoing. Read it here.

All That Jazz. You're a bartender at a bar Undertale Sans attends. I really like the reader-insert (minus the fact that you're decidedly female). Still ongoing. Read it here.

Then we have Blacked Out, which is about Fellswap Sans. You have a one-night stand with him but apparently, you're also soulmates according to him... Still ongoing and only 2 chapters long so far, but I like it already. Read it here.

This one is currently on hiatus - Daughter of Death. It's not my usual type of story, but I seriously like it a lot. I really can't describe it because I'm not sure how lol, but it's good. Read it here.

This one I also have a hard time explaining, especially since it's not finished (and it might be discontinued? It doesn't say it explicitly but it hasn't been updated in years, so...), but Dead Ringer. This one takes place in the usual Undertale Universe. Warning for themes of domestic abuse and transphobia among other things, but the author put up trigger warnings at the start of each chapter with these themes if I remember correctly and I think you can skip those scenes entirely (but don't quote me on that). Sans acts just a bit OOC but that's fine, it's still a good fic so I won't hold that against it or the author. Read it here.

Got Crabs? is another unfairly funny fic that I would definitely recommend. It's a soulmate AU with Red (Underfell Sans) x reader. Read it here.

Bittybones AU!! If You Give a Bittybones a Cookie is really fun. You move into a "haunted" house, but well, it's actually inhabited by bittybones! Read it here.

This one seems to have been discontinued, but My Neighbour Could Kill Me is a fun read! It's pretty short, but regardless, it's interesting. Just know that you're immortal, and the AU skeletons live by the same street as you. Warning for gore and (temporary) death. Read it here.

Of Spells and Illusions is pretty fun too! You're in college and so are the Undertale characters... It's a pretty slow burn, but just know that it's with the classic UT characters, no AU shenanigans here, and it's got a pretty unique premise as all monsters disguise themselves as human! Read it here.

Nostalgia works off the concept of you coming from the normal Undertale universe before suddenly waking up one day in the Underfell universe. Also you've developed magic. It's only 2 chapters long so far (and was last update last year) so it might be silently discontinued, but it's still good so I recommend it! Read it here.

If any of the links lead to the wrong place or don't work, please tell me! :-) Also, I'll probably upload more fic recs sooner or later because these are far from the only ones I love and I've definitely forgotten a lot of them. ^^ Feel free to drop your own recs in the notes <3

#fic recs #undertale

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dulce-pjm · 4 years

Text

“f” for effort

word count: 3.6k

genre: fluff

summary: this feud has gone on far too long. the study room is yours and you no longer care what namjoon has to say about it.

You’re running for your life.

At least, that’s really what it looks like. If you weren’t so goddamn fast, bystanders might have stopped to ask if you were safe or needed help. You’re huffing and puffing like the big bad wolf’s elderly grandma as you tear across campus with only one destination in mind. Beads of sweat drip down your forehead and stains are threatening to form in the pits of your shirt but frankly, you couldn’t give a shit. You’ve got a place to be, and fast.

Said place is your heaven. Your paradise. Your land of milk and honey. Or as a moron would call it, the corner library study room.

It’s roomy, it’s quiet, almost no one knew it was there. When you had loads of coursework to catch up on (which was often and just so happened to be the case on this Friday night), you sought refuge in your precious study room. During the day, the lighting was beautiful. The windows were massive, letting all of the sun’s rays beam into the cozy room and make you feel warm, bright, awake. At night, when you became especially frustrated, you could always slide your rolling chair over to said big windows and gaze at the stars or stare off into the night.

No one appreciated that room correctly, not like you did it.

Which is why you had to stop that little fucker, Namjoon, from stealing it from right under your nose.

The two of you were only freshmen, but your ongoing feud over the glorious study room was intense enough to have lasted generations. You both were willing to pull out all the stops if that’s what it took to keep the other from making it to the room. You used the cheapest of tricks, flat out sabotaging the other if you felt it necessary.

You recall one particular time you planted a fake spider (one of his biggest fears, you’d learned) in his backpack before the end of your shared Calc II class, making him let loose a shrill shriek, much to the annoyance of the professor. And while Namjoon was getting lectured on disrupting class and not acting his age, you were waltzing off to the study room, internally flipping him off as you did. The memory makes you chuckle as you heave and sprint.

It wasn’t that Namjoon had done anything particularly wrong to you. You figured in another context, you might have found him much more bearable, maybe even nice. But something about him just rubbed you the wrong way.

For one, he was an applied mathematics major. Who the fuck majors in just math? People who want to flex how much smarter they are than you, that’s who. And what did the applied part even mean? You suspected someone just as unbearable as Namjoon had added the word in so that he (because of course it was a man) and all his other mathematician friends could be pretentious, annoying fucks together.

Secondly, despite being one of the top students in your class, he was a member of a fraternity. How he had time to both outperform everyone else in the STEM program and party it out with the frat brothers every night was beyond you. You’d heard from your senior friend (who also notified you that Namjoon was after your precious study room) that was also part of the brotherhood that Namjoon was on some kind of fraternity-specific scholarship and that was the only reason he joined. That you understood, tuition was no joke. Didn’t make him any less annoying, though.

And third? Third... Well, you couldn’t think of a third point right now but you’re certain there is one, you know it. You probably couldn’t remember because you were running out of oxygen and dying under the beating sun.

You’re almost crying tears of joy when you enter the library, head whipping around to search for a particular tall blonde. Luckily, he’s nowhere in sight.

Your feet scream as they carry you to your safe haven but you can’t even be bothered until-

“Going somewhere?” He strides next to you, his effortless speed-walking easily overtaking your sloppy attempt at a run. Your books are threatening to slip from your arms and you’re fairly certain you lost the sunglasses on top of your head long ago when you came barreling down the bio building stairs.

“Fuck you, Kim,” you spit harshly. “I came in here first so I get the room.” Your crudeness only makes him laugh maniacally. You curse the little dimples that crease into his cheeks, taking them as an insult to your misery.

“As far as I can see-” He takes advantage of your height difference and takes a massive step in front of you. “-I’m going to get there before you.” As if to tease you further, he spins to face you as he easily surpasses you, approaching the study room and its sign-up sheet with increasing speed.

If you want to win this round- and you really, really do, not only to get your work done but to rub it in his smug face- you’ll need to play dirty.

Moments later, Namjoon is picking up the pen, smirking at you as he moves to haphazardly scribble his name into the time slot. But you’re already formulating a plan. Your textbooks were pretty damn heavy, you bet it’d definitely throw him off if you managed to drop them on his toes. Actually, it definitely would, since the idiot was wearing sandals in late October. As you’re taking aim, however, Namjoon’s face falls.

“The fuck is a board game club?” You freeze, mere steps away from dropping your books on his foot.

“What?” When he doesn’t explain, you nudge him aside and peer at the sign-up sheet. Lo and behold, there it is.

From eight p.m. to midnight, the room is booked. By a... board game club. And it’s seven forty-five now, which means you’re shit out of luck.

“Well, looks like neither of us-”

“This is bullshit.” Namjoon chuckles at your disgusted expression.

“It’s just a study room, Y/N. I’m sure there’s another free one.”

“Well, I don’t want just any study room, Kim. I want my study room.” He scoffs at your arrogance and (quite unfortunately) follows you as you spin on your heel and take off in the other direction.

“Well, what are you gonna do about it? Tell off the game club?”

“I’m going to lodge a complaint and get my study room back.”

“Mhmm.” He trails you incessantly as you march up to the nearest help desk and drop your books in front of the poor employee about to suffer from your wrath.

“Can I help you?” the sheepish girl asks. She couldn’t be much older than you. You almost felt bad for what you were about to do.

“Yes, can you please explain why a-” You raise your fingers for air quotes. “-‘board game club’ has booked a private study room, taking priority over student study time?” The girl is taken aback at your abruptness, clearly not used to being confronted in such a manner. But you weren’t here to waste time by avoiding hurt feelings.

“I-” She hesitates, looking to the blonde beside you for help, of which he gives none. “I’m not sure what to tell you. The study rooms are first come, first serve.”

“For students,” you emphasize, pressing your palms into the desk and leaning forward. “Not unofficial club gatherings.” Something changes in the girl’s face and she turns away from you and faces her computer, typing something across the keyboard. In just a moment, her entire demeanor has flipped. It seems she’s not interested in entertaining your attitude anymore.

“Well, looks like the ‘Board Game Club’ is an official, university-sponsored club. Which means they’re just as much entitled to study room time as you are. Actually, more-so, since you didn’t book your room in advance.” She spins her office chair backs towards you. “Sorry.” She shrugs, flashing you an all-too-fake smile.

“Ugh, fine.” You pile your books back into your arms and roll your eyes, leaving the library altogether.

And your trail follows you.

“What, you’re just gonna leave? There were other study rooms open!” You scoff, annoyed at his ignorance.

“Well the other study rooms that are open at this time either smell like ass or have no air conditioning. So that’s a no-go.” Namjoon laughs quietly, agreeing with your sentiment. He’s been stuck in his fair share of poor study rooms before and knows it can ruin the experience.

“So.... what are you going to do now?”

You find yourself wondering why he’s still here, talking to you when he should be organizing his own study plan for the night. Further yet, you wonder why you’re entertaining his stupid questions at all.

“I dunno. Camp out at the campus Starbucks?”

“What? But they close at ten!” You shoot an exasperated look in his direction.

“And what’s it to you?” You pick up the pace in an effort to shake off your stalker, but much to your annoyance he jumps in front of you, thrusting out his hands before you can take a step further. You nearly collide with his chest.

“Would you just wait a sec?” Your eyes glide up to meet his as you tap your foot, barely acknowledging you’re listening. “Why don’t you just come back to my place with me?” Your eyes narrow.

“I’m not sure what you’re insinuating, but-” His eyes widen and he begins frantically shaking his head. You almost smirk. It’s fun watching him squirm.

“No! That’s not what I meant!” He sighs, wringing his hands. “Most of the fraternity is at this other party so the house will be empty tonight. And quiet. I know that’s why you like the study rooms and it’s the least I can do for you.”

You’re still suspicious. What’s in it for him? He certainly wasn’t just being nice to be nice. There was something else involved.

“If you knew the house would be empty tonight then why did you try to take the study room?” Namjoon shrugs, grinning mischievously.

“You’re just too fun to tease.”

That remark has you scoffing and brushing past him, not even dignifying him with a response.

“Wait! Just slow down, would you?” A heavy hand settles on your shoulder and Namjoon is beside you again. You’re about to scream with frustration.

“What, Namjoon? What could you possibly tell me that will convince me to come study with you?”

He grins sheepishly.

“I’ll buy you pizza?”

Okay, yeah, you’re a tad ashamed you let your morals slide in exchange for greasy pizza that will wreck your stomach in the morning. But you’re hungry, okay? And the dining hall was already closed and your wallet was empty and it just happened.

And now you were plopped on Namjoon’s bed typing away furiously at your laptop. He’d made a few efforts at light conversation, but he quickly gave up trying to push that boulder when you barely grunted in response to his questions.

His room was surprisingly nice and organized. The bedsheets were barely wrinkled and the room smelled pleasant despite it being apart of a literal frat house. Though his desk was a mess, littered with math theory books and philosophy papers and historical fiction novels. The books appeared well-loved and cared for, not like they were simply written as required on a syllabus.

He appeared pretty organized, too. The oak-colored round glasses he’d donned after arriving made him look older, more scholarly. And definitely more pretentious.

You were glad the two of you weren’t doing this at your dorm. Your room was an actual nightmare. Your life might be organized and planned down to the minute, but your bedroom was an entirely different story.

“So...” Namjoon chews on the end of his pen as he reworks old calculus problems. “Psychology major?”

Really, trying at the small talk again? Good luck with that.

You’re about to completely ignore him when it occurs to you that if you don’t talk about your major he will most certainly talk about his. It wouldn’t be the first time you’ve heard him rant and preach about math and its many uses in modern society. So before you end up stuck in that situation, you entertain his question. If it could even be called that.

“Mhmm.” You bite the bottom of your lip as you contemplate the next line of your essay. You don’t notice Namjoon staring. “I plan to graduate a year early and go straight to med school. Probably open a family practice one day.” Namjoon leans back into his bed frame, nodding in something close to awe.

“Wow, you really got it that planned out?”

“Yup,” you reply, popping the ‘p.’ “Since I was fifteen. I only majored in psychology because I think it’s interesting and I’ll look well-rounded when I start applying to med school. I’ll definitely just be a family doctor.”

“Well, you are a great people person...” You finally crack the next line of your paper and type it away, completely missing the joke and subtle jab.

Ding dong.

“That the pizza?” It’s the first thing you’ve said to him unprompted since you got here.

“Think so. I’ll be back.” He heaves himself up from the bed and trots out of the room, right as your phone buzzes. You only spare the screen a passing glance, but upon seeing the notification is a text from your roommate, you immediately open it.

9:18 pm. Yeji: where are you? ive looked for you everywhere >:( 9:22 pm. Yeji: Y/N? pls respond or ill be worried 9:23 pm. Y/N: I thought you were using the room for yourself tonight. Why are you at the library? 9:23 pm. Yeji: suho cancelled :( i came to find you at the library but you aren’t here ? 9:24 pm. Y/N: The study rooms were all taken. Me and Namjoon are studying at his place. 9:24 pm. Yeji: wait, really?!?! 9:24 pm. Yeji: oh my god, FINALLY 9:25 pm. Y/N: ??? 9:27 pm. Y/N: Yeji?? 9:28 pm. Yeji: im just relieved you two are finally owning up to the obvious sexual tension in this stupid feud and banging it out ;)

You choke. Is that what people thought about you? The idea made you want to gag.

9:29 pm. Y/N: What ?? 9:29 pm. Y/N: NO 9:29 pm. Y/N: That is most definitely NOT what is happening. 9:29 pm. Y/N: That’s disgusting. 9:30 pm. Yeji: aww booooooo 9:30 pm. Yeji: and to think, i was getting my hopes up for you 9:30 pm. Yeji: but seriously tho 9:31 pm. Yeji: whatever dance you two are playing isn’t gonna last long 9:31 pm. Yeji: its obvious you two like each other

With that, you shut the phone off completely and set it face down, suddenly feeling very, very hot.

Yeji was an idiot. She didn’t know what she was talking about.

Right?

This argument, this feud, this competition, it was fueled by anger and annoyance and, as much as you hate to say it, pettiness. You couldn’t stand Kim. And he didn’t particularly like you either. There was nothing else going on here.

Your arguments weren’t flirting. They were arguments. Simple as that.

But then again, you were sitting in his room. Studying together. Letting him buy you dinner.

Well, fuck.

“Pizza delivery!” You scream in fright as he enters the room, making him nearly drop the box full of your precious dinner.

“Oh my god, fuck, are you okay?” You quickly fan at your cheeks to combat the furnace burning underneath them.

“Yep! I’m fine! Just don’t scare me like that, for god’s sake.”

When you meet his eyes, Namjoon looks genuinely apologetic.

Your heart flutters. This little shit.

“Well, uh, here’s your pizza.” He slides the box next to your laptop and settles on the opposite side of the bed, returning to his work.

“You’re not gonna eat?”

“Nah, I ate earlier. And your stomach is growling. I can hear it from over here.” Your eyes bulge.

Had he cared like this all along? Had you just been too blind to notice it? You were freaking out, your heart rate climaxing and your hands quickly becoming lightly coated in sweat.

The weight of the past few months hits you like a freight train.

It’s much too overwhelming.

You’re suddenly aware of your close proximity. The smell of the room, of him, is overpowering and suffocating. The air is thick and you think you might choke. When did that dimpled grin become so attractive? Just before it immediately pissed you off but now...

You eye his blonde locks, imagining what it’d be like to run your fingers through them before you can stop yourself. The glasses you’d found pretentious somehow make him cute, maybe even endearing. Did you always feel like this?

“Are you sure you’re okay, Y/N? You look like you’ve seen a ghost. Or like you might throw up. Please don’t puke on my floor, I’m begging.”

“Fine!” you squeak, whipping your face back to the laptop screen, unwilling to let your eyes move even an inch in his direction.

Even still, it’s like you can feel his body heat from across the bed, calling you in, taunting you for being the biggest moron you knew.

You gotta get out of here.

You finish your essay in record time, just as the clock strikes eleven. You’ve already instructed Yeji to pick you up at eleven-fifteen, and she’s always early. Now all you had to do was ignore the way your heart was beating in your throat and slip away to forget this ever happened.

After a few days used to succumb to logic, you’d realize this was all a mistake. A misunderstanding. An unnecessary emotional reaction.

“Well-” You stand, gathering your books in your arms. “I’m off. Thanks for buying me dinner and letting me intrude.” He looks up from his work to you, eyes bleary and exhausted. You hate the way you enjoy how he gives you his full attention and concern.

“It’s really no problem. Do you want me to walk you home?”

Goddamn, Namjoon. Stop being such a gentleman, would you?

“No. It’s fine. My roommate is picking me up.”

“Oh, okay,” he replies, appearing slightly disappointed. No, he wasn’t disappointed. You’re just crazy and emotionally unstable at the moment.

You bid him an awkward wave and slowly back out of the room when he calls out for you.

“Y/N!” You freeze in the hallway as he approaches, noticing how his hair has fallen out of its styled position and hangs loosely rumpled in his face.

“Yes?” He probably was gonna ask for you to pay for the pizza since he didn’t eat it. Yeah, that seems like a Namjoon thing to do.

He pauses and grins awkwardly, making your eyes fly to those dimples. He wrings his hands.

“I- uh-” He breathes out sharply through his nose. “I had a nice time.” You nod, allowing no change in your blank expression.

“I appreciated the quiet. Thanks.” He sighs, looking as tired as you feel.

“Look, I’ll cut to the chase. I’ve been trying to tell you I’m interested in you for a few months now.” Your heart stops and you’re unable to offer a response. “I may have got a bit carried away teasing but, well…’

“What do I need to do to secure another study date with you?”

You’re shocked. Flattered, even. But more than anything, you feel your pride inflating in your chest. You quickly forget that just moments before, you were the one drooling over him and instead bask in the fact that he’s been pining for you this whole time. You feel emboldened.

You give him a half-hearted shrug. Namjoon’s face falls.

“If you want a second date with me, you’ll have to do better than trashy pizza and textbooks.” A smile spreads across the boy’s face as he lets out a laugh that he’s desperately trying to contain.

You love seeing him flustered. You’re a bit more comfortable admitting that now.

“Yeah, yeah. Of course. I’ll work on that.”

You give him a curt nod as the two of you walk towards the front door.

“Find me in the corner study room when you come up with something.” You give him a glance over your shoulder as you step out into the night.

“Yes ma’am,” he shouts back, playfully saluting you. You’re already missing his annoying presence as he closes the door.

When you collapse into the passenger seat of Yeji’s car, you aren’t listening to her chatter at all. Not that you normally would, but this time there’s not even a chance you don’t tune everything out.

You know, you think you could make room for Namjoon in your life plan. He was a little shit, sure. But you’d be lying if you said you weren’t too. And something tells you that you won’t be getting rid of him so easily anymore.

#bts #bts scenario #bts fanfic #namjoon #namjoon fanfic #namjoon scenario #namjoon fluff #not quite enemies to lovers but somewhere in that realm #more like unknowingly flirtatious idiots to lovers i'd say #namjoon as an asshole #OC as a bigger asshole #but they're assholes in love #ya feel?

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bladekindeyewear · 4 years

Text

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-10-31

THE SPOOKTOBER SPOOKD8 IS HERE! Time to blog it and hope to the lord of bones that it heavily features the 12-foot Home Depot Skeleton! Continuing from last time.

Will John remember that he should be off protecting the other kids from running off? Or will he search for Vrissy finally, now that he’s spent a literal DAY staring at his house burning down?

> (==>)

This is the last Blood tie with your childhood and the past you were clinging to like a man-child, finally cut. Your psyche is no longer allowed to be....

....Housetrapped.

Now get your Breathy ass over to your more adult responsibilities. Or do something as irresponsible as usual, but more forward focused and thus singularly impressive.

> (==>)

I LITERALLY GASPED

I knew I was a fatally addicted Homestuck fanboy despite the trauma but I didn’t know I was THAT much of a just-over-thirty-year-old fanboy, I literally GASPED out loud. To finally have the joy and confidence for the future that comes with JOHN and KARKAT together IN PERSON and interacting with a common goal.

What a dramatic, perfect shot. This IS Karkat right? That’s what the visuals and my heart and soul said

> (==>)

THEY’RE CLOSE FRIENDS

CLOSE ENOUGH FOR THAT

KARKAT HAS COME SO FAR

Karkat and John conversations are some of the strongest in Homestuck, I ship them as FRIENDS so hard

It brings to mind something I mentioned in the Breath, Blood, and the Flow of Reality explanation/theorypost, which was holy shit SEVEN YEARS AGO wow

I didn’t always understand the appeal of John as a character, ranking him in the middle of my liked characters list. But after a while, I suddenly noticed how enjoyable he was for the things his conversations did to others, making his pesterlogs some of the most enjoyable to read. I wrote the following two years ago, in a character rankings thread, back when we knew jack shit about the import of classes and roles:

“I didn’t really see why I should think John was such an amazing character until I realized his consistent effect on the other party. He’s goofy and doesn’t really understand anything, but he understands just enough about his friends and others to make cutting, hilarious, almost unintentional insights that can change people for the better, even if he’s off the mark. It’s not what he says himself, but what he brings about in others that makes him so great to read. I mean, if you wall him off from everyone else… he kind of fails.

That’s why I take issue with the complaint of protagonist syndrome, here. John is very little by himself, but enhances all the characters around him immensely. Imagine if John were doomed to stay the least powerful and/or game-advancing of the kids and trolls combined; notice how little that would do to the story, or his beneficial role in it.”

John cut himself off from EVERYONE for YEARS in the Candy timeline. He tried to be close to people and just ended up distancing himself from it. He tried to keep himself tied down by his old home and memories of the version of Dad he lost, and all sorts of childish stuff. But that tie is cut, and the bonds he’s forged need to be grasped to bring him out to exercise his maturity, because Breath is futile without real BLOOD.

> (==>)

Awesome shot.

KARKAT: ROUGH DAY, HUH.

youtube

(that was supposed to skip to 2:26 when you click but I couldnt embed it that way -- I haven’t metal geared i just seen clips and super best friends & know some memes)

So many scars. I used to even ship Jane and Karkat a little so they could just be aghast together at everyone’s shenanigans and level criticism at them together, but to think Jane’s fought and hurt Karkat THIS much...

(And yeah, his blood color is shown through his eyes now at this age, that’s correct.)

> (==>)

Oh my fucking god, going from that to Sprite mode that abruptly. XD

This is great.

JOHN: karkat? JOHN: what are you doing here? KARKAT: IT'S NICE TO SEE YOU TOO.

Hah, SO close that Karkat’s immediately critical of NOT being greeted warmly. :)

JOHN: this isn't a battlefield, it's just... KARKAT: THE OBLITERATED, SMOLDERING HUSK OF YOUR FORMER HOME. JOHN: well, yeah. KARKAT: WHICH WAS DESTROYED AS COLLATERAL IN AN ONGOING MILITARY CONFLICT. JOHN: oh all right, fine. JOHN: it just feels weird to call it that. JOHN: i guess i'm used to thinking of home as somewhere far away from all that war stuff.

Yeah John, the burning down from a bomb that was meant for you and ALL of your friends’ children is supposed to shatter you out of that illusion.

I’d continue criticizing, but Karkat’s about to do it for me:

KARKAT: JESUS *CHRIST* JOHN. KARKAT: I CANNOT EVEN BEGIN TO LIST ALL THE WAYS IN WHICH THAT CONSTITUTES A SHORT-SIGHTED AND PUKE-WORTHILY IGNORANT THING TO SAY TO ME, PERSONALLY. KARKAT: AND FRANKLY I DON'T HAVE TIME TO BOTHER, THANKS TO THE COUNTLESS FIRES I HAVE BEEN PUTTING OUT ALL DAY, THE ONE PRESENTLY CONSUMING YOUR HIVE NOTWITHSTANDING. KARKAT: YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD HAVE MADE THINGS GO A BIT MORE SMOOTHLY? JUST A FRACTION? KARKAT: IF YOU HADN'T JUST DECIDED TO WANDER OFF THE INSTANT SHIT STARTED HAPPENING. JOHN: jeez, i'm sorry karkat. JOHN: i had no idea how much time had passed. JOHN: i must have gotten a bit distracted by my house being blown up.

A BIT DISTRACTED. You empty-headed irresponsible guardian.

KARKAT: NOT WANTING TO POINT OUT THE OBVIOUS, BUT I FEEL LIKE THIS WAS A PROBLEM THAT YOU OF ALL PEOPLE WERE UNIQUELY AND MAGICALLY EQUIPPED TO DEAL WITH. JOHN: huh? KARKAT: YOU KNOW. KARKAT: WITH YOUR SHOOSH THING. JOHN: my shoosh thing. KARKAT: YOUR SHOOSH THING. KARKAT: THE GUSTY NONSENSE? THE GIFT OF GAS?? KARKAT: YOUR SBURB ALLOCATED BLOW JOB??? JOHN: uh. KARKAT: THE SUPERNATURAL COMMUNION YOU HAVE WITH ALL THINGS WINDY, YOU ASS!! JOHN: oh right, that. JOHN: that would have let me put the fire out, maybe. JOHN: i don't think there's anything in my skillset that would have unexploded my house though. KARKAT: THAT'S FAIR.

Mhmm. Many of the characters in Candy AND Meat are currently in a situation where due to either years of unpractice in a worshipful society that discourages it by fueling their insecurities or inability to due to confinement in a years-long space trip has caused them to AVOID using their powers for the main beginning stretch of our new story. People have complained about them outright “forgetting” to use their powers, and they’re right, to an extent, but it’s story-justified. They’re almost all physically or psychologically prevented from doing so! But those walls are coming down, starting now. They’re going to come back into their own. And we’re bound to see a LOT MORE of these literal Gods using their abilities to shape the fabric of reality as the story progresses.

JOHN: i suppose i'll add one more notch to the daily tally of crazy stuff that happened which i just have to accept as my life now.

It was all already happening, you just refused TO accept it until now.

JOHN: so... JOHN: what else happened while i was caught up watching the symbolic representation of my former life get consumed in a giant fire ball? KARKAT: OH BOY. WHERE TO START. KARKAT: SO FIRST OFF, IN HINDSIGHT, TODAY WAS PRETTY OBVIOUSLY JUST ONE HUGE BAITED TRAP. KARKAT: I SAY "IN HINDSIGHT", BUT FORTUNATELY IT WAS ALSO EXTREMELY APPARENT EVEN IN FORESIGHT TO THOSE OF US WHO SPENT A FEW SECONDS THINKING ABOUT IT. JOHN: ...right. KARKAT: OH COME ON EGBERT, SERIOUSLY? KARKAT: KIDNAPPING A PERSON OF IMPORTANCE, ONLY TO LET US KNOW PRECISELY WHERE AND ON WHAT OCCASION THEY WOULD BE MOST ACCESSIBLE FOR A RESCUE ATTEMPT? KARKAT: HAVING THAT OCCASION BE NONE OTHER THAN THE CORPSE PARTY OF A HIGHLY NOTEWORTHY POLITICAL FIGURE, WHOSE CASKET MIGHT AS WELL HAVE HAD A GIANT "KICK ME" SIGN DAUBED ON IT? KARKAT: THERE WAS BASICALLY NO WAY IT WASN'T A FRONT FOR SOMETHING HUGE. AND IT WAS! KARKAT: WE HAPPEN TO BE SITTING IN FRONT OF ONE FACET OF THAT HUGENESS AT THIS VERY MOMENT.

Wait. Oh, God.

Someone brought up the possibility that Gamzee might still be revivable by Jane, and I speculated that she’s deliberately CHOOSING not to because she actually doesn’t like him that much or has some semblance of fucking sense left in her.

But what if she PLANNED to have a public funeral for him, and then revive him SOON AFTER to turn him into a Christ-like resurrecting figure? D:

JOHN: well, when you put it like that... JOHN: i guess we all got pranked pretty hard, huh. KARKAT: THIS IS NO TIME FOR YOUR SHITTY NERD PRANKS JOHN. KARKAT: FRANKLY I'M INSULTED THAT YOU THINK SUCH A WORD IS EVEN REMOTELY APPOSITE TO THE PRESENT SITUATION. KARKAT: OTHER THAN TO DESCRIBE THE WAY I AM PERSONALLY BEING "PRANKED" BY REALITY IN HAVING TO EXPLAIN ALL THIS TO YOU.

Pretty much. Get serious, John, actual people are dying by the--

--oh right, he was like this through the apocalypse and death of everyone on Earth.

I guess this is in character. Paradox Space made sure to choose someone empty-headed and disconnected from reality enough to withstand this shit easily. He really is a Breath player.

KARKAT: IT TURNS OUT THAT WE DIDN'T NEED TO PUT SO MUCH EFFORT INTO THE RESCUING YIFFY PART OF THE OPERATION. KARKAT: SHE BASICALLY RESCUED HERSELF WHEN ALL WAS SAID AND DONE. KARKAT: AND TOOK CARE OF KICKING GAMZEE'S CORPSEBOX OVER WHILE SHE WAS AT IT, IN A STUNNING DISPLAY OF EFFICIENCY WHICH THE REST OF US CAN ONLY ASPIRE TO.

Excellent, yeah.

JOHN: it sounds like she'd be a pretty welcome addition to your ranks then. KARKAT: SHE'S A CHILD, YOU MORON.

Yeah, you’re fucking grown up now, John. Stop thinking of the kids as the ones who have to rise up when the adults aren’t all doomed or dead.

KARKAT: THE VRISKAS, PLURAL. JOHN: shit. KARKAT: THEY'VE BOTH BEEN CAPTURED. JOHN: shiiiiiiiit. KARKAT: YEAH. KARKAT: GREAT WORK KEEPING AN EYE ON THEM, BY THE WAY! KARKAT: YOU LITERALLY HAD ONLY ONE JOB, AND YOU MESSED IT UP IN THE EQUALLY SINGULAR WAY IT WAS POSSIBLE TO DO. JOHN: urgh, i know, i know. ):

At least he messed that part up while he was TRYING to watch them, and not when he wandered off and watched his house burn for a whole day instead of protecting the remaining kids.

KARKAT: JANE'S PLAN FOR THIS CONFLICT HAS THUS FAR CONSISTED ALMOST ENTIRELY OF KIDNAPPING VARIOUS HIGH PROFILE CHILDREN. KARKAT: IT'S BIZARRE. KARKAT: AS THOUGH WE ARE FIGHTING A WAR OF ATTRITION, WHERE THE MAIN RESOURCE BEING UTILIZED IS THE OFFSPRING OF THE MOST POWERFUL PEOPLE ON THE PLANET. KARKAT: IF IT WASN'T ONE OF THE CORE TENETS OF HER FASCISTIC PHILOSOPHY, I'D BE TEMPTED TO SAY THAT CURBING REPRODUCTION MIGHT HAVE BEEN A GOOD IDEA, IF ONLY TO PREVENT THIS KIND OF FUCKSHIT NONSENSE FROM HAPPENING.

Leave it to Karkat to point out the blatant absurdity of Homestuck’s nonsense in any given situation.

JOHN: wait. JOHN: wait a minute. JOHN: you said that both vriskas have been captured, right? KARKAT: EXCUSE ME WHILE I WEEP FOR JOY AT THE REVELATION THAT YOU HAVE BEEN PAYING ATTENTION FOR ONCE. JOHN: okay, well putting that emotional outburst aside for a moment. JOHN: how is that even possible? JOHN: doesn't vriska, the original vriska, still have her magic alien mind control powers? JOHN: it seems like it should be basically impossible for anyone to kidnap her. KARKAT: YOU'VE STUMBLED ASS BACKWARDS ACROSS THE MOST IMPORTANT POINT OF THIS UNFORTUNATE DEVELOPMENT.

...Is Karkat going to put two and two together and realize that Vriska must have been intentionally captured of her own free will for some sort of ploy?

KARKAT: YOU ARE CORRECT, IN THAT WITH HER CASTE-TYPICAL, *COMPLETELY SCIENTIFIC AND NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT MAGICAL* PSYCHOMANIPULATIVE ABILITIES, STAYING OUT OF CROCKER'S REACH SHOULD HAVE BEEN COMPLETELY TRIVIAL FOR SERKET PRIME. KARKAT: EVEN ACCOUNTING FOR THE FACT THAT SAID ABILITIES ARE NOT NEARLY AS POTENT ON HUMANS AS THEY ARE ON FELLOW TROLLS, THEY STILL OUGHT TO HAVE TIPPED ANY ALTERCATION SQUARELY IN HER FAVOR. KARKAT: BUT SOMEHOW, IT DIDN'T! KARKAT: INSTEAD, THINGS APPEAR TO HAVE GONE GLOBES UP IN CLASSIC VRISKITE FASHION, AND NOW ONE OF THE MOST UNEXPECTED AND UNWANTED BUT NEVERTHELESS USEFUL WEAPONS IN OUR ARSENAL IS DOING TIME IN CROCKERJAIL. KARKAT: THAT'S ABOUT ALL WE'VE BEEN ABLE TO GLEAN FROM TAPPING INTO THE BATTERBITCH AIRWAVES, WHICH IS A FANCY TERM FOR EAVESDROPPING ON THOSE OF HER AGENTS WHO TALK A LITTLE TOO LOUDLY IN SEMI-PUBLIC SPACES. JOHN: jeez. JOHN: i really screwed that up, didn't i.

Guh. I guess Karkat is underestimating Vriska a bit or just assuming the worst out of a habit of assuming the worst of everything. (Or, if he has his suspicions, he’s not telling John.)

KARKAT: HAVING SAID ALL OF THAT, AND WITH THE RECOGNITION THAT I AM CHOOSING TO NURSE YOUR BRUISED FEELINGS DURING A PLANET WIDE CONFLICT FOR THE FATE OF MY SPECIES, KARKAT: IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN DO TO EXPEDITE YOUR GETTING THE FUCK OVER IT? JOHN: i... hm.

Yeah, use your shoosh-paps from Karkat wisely, John. You needed them.

JOHN: i don't really know? JOHN: this all feels wrong, karkat. JOHN: no offense, but when you're around, it's usually a lot... KARKAT: A LOT WHAT? JOHN: a lot funnier. KARKAT: FUNNIER. JOHN: how to put this. JOHN: normally listening to you go on and on about how much we've fucked everything up is just very funny! JOHN: but now it's just not the same. JOHN: maybe it's part of what's going on with this entire reality? i don't know. JOHN: once upon a time i would have put down your ability to pull a silly rant out of your butt as a fundamental law of physics or something. JOHN: remember back when we first knew each other? JOHN: it felt like all you ever said to me was how much you thought i was screwing up and being a useless asshole. JOHN: and once i realized that you were also just a dumb kid who didn't know what was going on, i started to kind of enjoy it. JOHN: but now it's like... the only one who's still a dumb kid is me, and everyone else has something big and important going on that i just don't understand.

Mhmm, Karkat has every reason to be mad. And everything really, REALLY close to you that you care about is in danger from the very things he’s mad about. Karkat is RIGHT for once with every angry seemingly-exaggerated-but-not word, and that’s throwing you.

JOHN: i thought that i finally got what was going on with this whole war and everything. i wanted to be useful! JOHN: i guess i got a little too wrapped up in the feeling of something finally happening again. JOHN: and then watching it all blow up in my face, kind of literally now that i think about it...

...you think maybe something that happens to be A WAR is actually a big farking deal that you should be serious about??

JOHN: it's hard not to feel even more dejected about the situation than i was before. JOHN: and now even the patented karkat vant rant has lost all its sparkle.

IT’S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE FUN.

JOHN: maybe if you had like, painstakingly itemized a list of all the things wrong with my plan in a comically overdone fashion or something. KARKAT: I CONSIDERED IT, BUT HONESTLY THERE WAS SO MUCH WRONG THAT I CONCLUDED THAT THE BEST THING FOR EVERYONE WOULD BE TO NEVER SPEAK OF IT AGAIN. JOHN: oh. okay.

Heheh.

KARKAT: IF WE'RE BEING HONEST, YOU DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A PLAN, JOHN. KARKAT: CALLING IT A PLAN WOULD IMPLY THAT IT WAS A STRUCTURED SEQUENCE OF STEPS DESIGNED TO ACHIEVE A GOAL. KARKAT: WHAT YOU CAME UP WITH WAS A CONVOLUTED MESS WHICH STILL SOMEHOW INVOLVED DOING FUCKALL. KARKAT: AND I USE CONVOLUTED HERE IN THE SAME WAY THAT I WOULD TO DESCRIBE THE FRENZIED DRAWSTICK SCRIBBLES OF A SQUALLING HUMAN INFANT.

All Breath and no Blood? All concept and influence and ephemeral accomplishments and no physical impact or results?

Karkat has been fighting this whole time with physical results in mind. He NEEDS to tie that ephemeral shit down, and once added to his plan, once Breath sweeps the tide of actual sentiment of people, inspires them, you have an actual victory in reach instead of just more attrition.

KARKAT: I APPRECIATE THAT YOU SEEM TO HAVE DUG YOUR PAN OUT OF YOUR OWN CHUTE THE FEW MICROMETERS NECESSARY TO NOTICE THE PRECISE DEGREE TO WHICH THE WORLD IS BEING JUDICIOUSLY BATFUCKED RIGHT NOW.

Really need to dig yourself out more than that, John, yeah.

KARKAT: AS HARD AS IT IS TO BELIEVE, THAT'S A FEAT WHICH NO SMALL NUMBER OF PEOPLE ARE COMPLETELY INCAPABLE OF DOING!

(Which is why your plan of attack needs more Breath!)

KARKAT: BUT NOTICING THE PROBLEM AND MAKING MEANINGFUL PROGRESS TOWARDS SOLVING IT ARE TWO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT THINGS. KARKAT: THE NEXT TIME YOU GET THE IMPULSE TO "LEND A HAND", YOU'D BE BETTER OFF CANNING IT FOR FIVE MINUTES AND LISTENING TO THOSE OF US WHO'VE BEEN TRYING TO SOLVE IT A LOT LONGER THAN YOU HAVE. KARKAT: THIS ISN'T AN EXERCISE BEING CONDUCTED IN ORDER FOR YOU TO PROVE YOUR PERSONAL DEGREE OF MORAL RECTITUDE. KARKAT: AND IF IT WAS, YOU WOULD HAVE ALREADY FAILED MISERABLY! SO DO YOURSELF AND EVERYONE ELSE A FAVOR AND STOP TREATING IT LIKE ONE. JOHN: well... all right. if you say so karkat.

Phew. Let’s hope he takes Karkat’s gift of a worldbound, arms-in-the-dirt sense of responsibility (Blood) and runs with it.

KARKAT: I DO SAY SO, EMPHATICALLY AND AT GREAT VOLUME. KARKAT: AND NOW THAT MY OBLIGATION TO CATECHIZE YOU ON THE SUBJECT OF YOUR OWN LIFE IS FULFILLED, I HAVE A WAR TO GET BACK TO. JOHN: wait, hold on. KARKAT: OH MY GOD WHAT NOW.

--is it gonna be a hug?

> (==>)

JOHN. Put it together.

JOHN: you can't be leaving already. JOHN: there's... so much we still need to talk about!

No, not that!!

...well, yes, I’m all for more of you two talking but. This ain’t just about you two.

KARKAT: WHAT MORE COULD THERE POSSIBLY BE FOR US TO DISCUSS?? KARKAT: PLEASE DO NOT TELL ME YOU JUST HAD ANOTHER EMOTION THAT WE NEED TO DROP EVERYTHING IN ORDER TO DISSECT. JOHN: no, that's not what i'm talking about at all. JOHN: karkat, we still haven't spoken about *you*! KARKAT: ABOUT ME? JOHN: yes. KARKAT: ABOUT *ME*? JOHN: about you. KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK ABOUT ME. JOHN: well... JOHN: you know, how you feel! KARKAT: HOW I FEEL. JOHN: or just... JOHN: argh, i don't know!

This was more of an intervention than a feelings jam, John. I’m not sure John’s in the condition right now to Breathily inspire Karkat somehow and help his war with an idea and drive he didn’t have before -- like he SHOULD eventually -- but I suppose we’re about to see.

JOHN: it's just been so long since we've seen each other. JOHN: all sorts of things have happened in that time, and it doesn't feel right to just not even mention any of it! KARKAT: LIKE WHAT?? JOHN: oh, i don't know karkat, literally anything! JOHN: i mean, look at you. JOHN: you are decked out in a tight body suit and have an eyepatch and everything. there is simply no way there isn't something to discuss there.

You talked with him plenty while NOT in person, though.

> (==>)

Such MOOD. What a good image.

JOHN: or like, forget the eyepatch, we don't have to talk about the eyepatch. JOHN: i feel as though my point still stands? JOHN: there is basically a bottomless well full of stuff to go through. JOHN: i mean we kind of glossed over it when you brought her up earlier, but what about yiffy? JOHN: this might not come across so easily due to human troll cultural boundaries, but her existing is kind of a big deal?? JOHN: i feel like somehow i missed the part where we all sit around and talk about how strange it is that two of our friends went off and had a secret child without any of us knowing! JOHN: is it too much to ask that we have that part now, karkat?

That’s fair. And they DO need to talk about it! But this is sort of like in the Game -- there’s important shit to do, and not a whole lot of time to do it. You’re going to do a lot of talking, but you won’t be able to do all you want with certain people separated from you by the circumstances of how this war is dividing your responsibilities.

JOHN: i mean, maybe it just doesn't mean that much to you. KARKAT: JOHN. JOHN: which is a little strange, given that it ties in to the whole conflict that you had with jade and dave. JOHN: oh god we have to talk about dave. KARKAT: JOHN. KARKAT: FUCKING HELL! KARKAT: I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT DAVE. JOHN: no, this is what i mean, karkat. JOHN: we need to talk about dave! KARKAT: HAHA! LIKE SHIT WE DO!! KARKAT: I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE HOW THIS IS EVEN A RELEVANT TOPIC OF CONVERSATION. JOHN: oh come on. JOHN: there's no way you aren't feeling kind of messed up about him, right?

THIS is fair. Karkat does need to talk about this with somebody. Whether John is the right somebody... I guess he is where Dave is concerned. And he has to talk to Jade eventually, too.

JOHN: i know i am. JOHN: whenever i think about how things ended between you two... JOHN: especially now that he's... JOHN: ugh, i'm sorry. i'm SO sorry karkat. sorry doesn't even begin to cover it. JOHN: this whole thing feels so impossibly sad. JOHN: all i'm trying to say is... JOHN: it's not healthy to bottle these feelings up and not acknowledge them. JOHN: even if you aren't feeling anything right now, and i don't for a moment believe that's true, *i* need to talk about dave! JOHN: so can we please just talk about dave for a moment. KARKAT: NNNNGNGNGGGGGGGUUUUUUGUUGHHHHHHHH FINE.

It’s difficult to live in a Daveless world.

KARKAT: IF IT WILL GET YOU TO SHUT UP ABOUT THIS TOPIC FOR EVEN A BRIEF MOMENT, THEN FINE. KARKAT: REGARDLESS OF HOW POINTLESS AN EXERCISE I CONSIDER IT TO BE, I WILL DISCUSS WITH YOU MY "FEELINGS" ABOUT DAVE. JOHN: okay. JOHN: thank you. KARKAT: ARE YOU PREPARED TO BE INUNDATED WITH NONE OTHER THAN AN UNINTERRUPTED SPATE OF HARD, UNEMBELLISHED DATA VIS A VIS MY SWEEPS-SUPPRESSED, BISCUITFELT EMOTIONS ON THE DAVE SITUATION?? KARKAT: WELL HERE GOES.

--it’s not gonna be short, or cut away, is it? --actually it could just switch to a very sad sunset-like vista of the two sitting there, and one poignant line from him followed by a long, hanging pause.

> (==>)

KARKAT: *DEEP BREATH*

A giant expletive isn’t it.

The best sendoff you could give him.

> (==>)

Holy shit. It really IS a rant!

KARKAT: YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW I REALLY FEEL ABOUT DAVE? KARKAT: HOW I FEEL IS THAT I WISH THAT EVERYONE WOULD STOP FUCKING BOTHERING ME ABOUT HIM!!! KARKAT: ALRIGHT, SO HE AND JADE GOT HUMAN MARRIED!! BIG DEAL!!! KARKAT: DO PEOPLE FORGET THAT I WAS THERE?? I FEEL LIKE EVERYONE IS FORGETTING THAT I WAS LITERALLY INVITED TO THE OCCASION. KARKAT: I'VE EVEN COME TO EXPECT THIS KIND OF AMNESIAC BEHAVIOR FROM EVERYONE ELSE, SINCE I ADMIT THAT I DIDN'T EXACTLY STICK AROUND OR ACTUALLY SHOW MY FACE FOR MOST OF THE ORDEAL, BUT YOU EGBERT SHOULD HAVE NO FUCKING EXCUSE! JOHN: wait, karkat, that's not what i KARKAT: SO YEAH! THAT WHOLE THING HAPPENED, AND I CAME TO TERMS WITH WHATEVER THERE WAS TO COME TO TERMS WITH, WHICH WAS FUCKING *NOTHING*, AND THEN I GOT ON WITH THE ACTUAL IMPORTANT BUSINESS OF TRYING TO PREVENT THE WORLD FROM CRUMBLING! KARKAT: WHICH, NOW THAT WE'RE ON THE SUBJECT, IS *STILL FUCKING HAPPENING*! KARKAT: I AM UTTERLY APPALLED THAT THIS IS AN INFO MORSEL I KEEP HAVING TO SPOONFEED DOWN YOUR WINDCHUTE EVERY FIVE SECONDS, JOHN, I REALLY AM. KARKAT: I MEAN HOLY SHIT, NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR THIS! KARKAT: AND ONE THING I CAN SAY WITH ABSOLUTE IRONCLAD CERTAINTY IS THAT IF DAVE WERE HERE, HE WOULD SAY THE SAME THING!!

Okay he dealt with it by keeping his hands in the dirt working on hard-fighting responsibilities, yeah, as a Blood player might. But the way he’s ranting about it seems a little-

KARKAT: SPEAKING OF WHICH, WHERE *IS* DAVE?? JOHN: um. KARKAT: I FEEL LIKE IF ANYONE COULD HAVE PREVENTED TODAY FROM DEVOLVING INTO A HEADLESS CLUSTERFUCK, IT WOULD HAVE BEEN... OKAY, MAYBE NOT HIM, BUT AT LEAST HE MIGHT HAVE HELPED DRAG YOU OUT OF YOUR DEPRESSIVE FUGUE A LITTLE SOONER! JOHN: (oh shit.)

Oh SHIT

> (==>)

Oh no... oh no, they’re BOTH about to let it out together.

They’re gonna have to cry it out. Finally, onscreen. THIS is why they weren’t showing us, why they were saving it. It felt so awkward at the time but it’s because it has to culminate in these two, some of the closest to Dave since CHILDHOOD, get to show us the effect on everyone in a microcosm.

KARKAT: NOT ONLY THAT, BUT MAYBE WITH BOTH OF US HERE WE COULD HAVE DISPENSED WITH THIS ENTIRE SORRY TOPIC ONCE AND FOR ALL, IF ONLY FOR YOUR BENEFIT! KARKAT: OH HI DAVE, JOHN SEEMS TO BE UNDER THE IMPRESSION THAT THE UNSPOKEN HISTORY BETWEEN US IS OF SUFFICIENT IMPORT THAT WE NEED TO HASH IT OUT THIS VERY SECOND IN FRONT OF THE BLASTED REMAINS OF HIS HOME! KARKAT: yo karkat that does seem to be a strange thing for my best friend john to be concerned about given that he has spent the past five years wallowing in the depths of deepest divorce fever KARKAT: and especially since jade and i have meanwhile been working as part of your resistance with no complaints, but sure, we can brofist each other and arrange our limbs in an unambiguously platonic way KARKAT: a way which is also flawlessly calculated to communicate to everyone present that here are two guys who are totally and unequivocally over each other JOHN: (oh god. you don't...)

Talk about John’s comment about Karkat’s rants not being hilarious in a situation. THIS situation really tugs it out of them. :(

KARKAT: THAT SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT IDEA DAVE, AND WITH THAT MAYBE THAT WAY WE CAN WASH OUR TOUCH STUMPS OF THIS WHOLE ORDEAL AND NEVER HAVE TO SPEAK OF IT AGAIN! KARKAT: WOULD YOU LIKE THAT, JOHN? KARKAT: WOULD THAT SATISFY YOUR CRAVING FOR CATHARSIS ON THE SUBJECT OF DAVE?? KARKAT: WELL WHY DON'T WE TRY IT THEN. KARKAT: IN FACT, WHY DON'T YOU CALL DAVE AND GET HIM OVER HERE RIGHT NOW! JOHN: (oh my god...)

> (==>)

These visuals are ON POINT. This entire sequence since Karkat showed up is masterfully done.

KARKAT: MAYBE WE SHOULD GET JADE TO COME AS WELL! JOHN: ): KARKAT: FUCK, WHY NOT INVITE FUCKING EVERYONE!!! KARKAT: WHY NOT PRESS "PAUSE" ON THE RACE WAR FOR A MOMENT AND HAVE ONE HUGE FEELINGS JAM LAWNMEAL WHERE WE ALL PUBLICLY EXPATIATE OUR VARIOUS CONVOLUTED EMOTIONS. KARKAT: FORGET PEACE TALKS, GET FUCKING *CROCKER* TO COME! KARKAT: MAYBE THE SIGHT OF A DAVEKAT RECONCILIATION IS THE SECRET KEY TO UNLOCKING THE PART OF HER BRAIN THAT STOPS HER FROM BEING A GENOCIDAL RACIST BITCH!!! KARKAT: HOW COULD WE HAVE POSSIBLY BEEN SO BLIND!!!!!! KARKAT: IF GAMZEE WASN'T DEAD, YOU COULD HAVE INVITED HIM AS WELL! KARKAT: HAHAHA, THAT'S OKAY, WE STILL HAVE A VERITABLE MENAGERIE OF PEOPLE WE KNOW WHO AREN'T DEAD. JOHN: ))))): KARKAT: ALL OF WHOM I AM SURE WILL BE SIMPLY DELIGHTED TO ATTEND WHAT WILL UNDOUBTEDLY BE THE SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT EVENT IN EARTH C'S BULLSHIT HISTORY. KARKAT: IF THIS IS WHAT IT TAKES, EGBERT, THEN I AM PREPARED TO DO IT! KARKAT: DON'T THINK THAT I WON'T!! KARKAT: IF JUST FOR AN *INSTANT* IT WILL GET EVERYONE OFF MY CASE ABOUT THIS, I WILL STAND UP WITH DAVE IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE ***FUCKING WORLD*** AND SOLEMNLY VOW THAT I DO NOT GIVE A SHIT!!!! JOHN: KARKAT!!!!

That last bit with John. I can HEAR the rawness in his voice as he shouts that last bit... he’s about to burst into tears. And Karkat is going to have to with him. And they’ll cry it out together, as they should.

> (==>)

JOHN: ugh, fuck, this is just too much! JOHN: i thought you KNEW! KARKAT: KNEW WHAT??? JOHN: dave's GONE, karkat! JOHN: he's... JOHN: he's dead.

Let’s see it happen.

> (==>)

Just body language, the blow of the words...

JOHN: i didn't mean for you to find out like this at all, i thought... JOHN: i mean, i only heard about it yesterday, but i was convinced someone would have told you already! JOHN: apparently one minute he was there, and the next... JOHN: none of us even know how it happened, and it doesn't make any sense that he's dead, but he is. JOHN: he is dead and he's not coming back. KARKAT: JOHN: talk to me karkat, please. JOHN: please talk to me karkat. KARKAT: KARKAT: HE...

Jade and Rose were on a different part of this battlefield, they didn’t have the ability, time, and/or heart to break the news--

> (==>)

KARKAT: HE DIDN'T EVEN SAY GOODBYE?

aaaaAAAA

What a fucking expression, wow.

And what a regret RoboDave has to have for abandoning everyone without so much as a farewell letter. To think that ditching them like that was IN his Ultimate Soul is going to eat away at him. He may be linked to all of his self of selves, but he’s still an individual with individual regrets.

This was a damned good update. See y’all next time.

(It may be the new meds I’m on, but between this and the thorough love I see put into the unofficial archive, I’m suddenly reminded that despite all the drama, I fucking LOVE Homestuck. Even its current incarnation.)

#Homestuck #hs2 #Homestuck Liveblog #upd8 #Homestuck^2 #spoiler #spoilers #John Egbert #Karkat #Dave Strider #Jane Crocker

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ragnarachael · 5 years

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DRABBLES + ONESHOTS MASTERLIST

here’s all the drabbles and oneshots i’ve posted! requests are currently closed! you can also find my new and old works that aren’t on this list on my blog by searching rachael writes or [character name] x reader!

click HERE for the masterlist to my chaptered fics such as: JUKEBOX HERO, PLEAD THE FIFTH. click HERE for the masterlist to my ongoing series such as: PROOF TONY STARK HAS A HEART, THE VALIANT ARSONIST.

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last updated — june 20th, 2020

MARVEL

PETER PARKER

CRUSH CITY, POPULATION: US — ONESHOT

Y/N’S FRIEND DRAGS HER TO A PARTY WHERE SHE ENDS UP TALKING WITH PETER, A GUY THAT SHE SHARES A FEW CLASSES WITH AND MAY OR MAY NOT KINDA HAVE A LITTLE CRUSH ON.

THE ONE WITH THE SOCKS IN BED — DRABBLE

PETER IS SICK, WEARING SOCKS TO BED, AND REALLY NEEDS A CUDDLE.

THE ONE WITH THE BLACK EYE — DRABBLE

PETER’S SPIDEY REFLEXES AREN’T ALWAYS HANDY. (FEATURES NELSON & MURDOCK!READER AND FRIEND!MATT MURDOCK)

THE ONE WITH THE EXISTENTIAL QUESTION — DRABBLE

YOU AND PETER ARE TALKING ABOUT ALTERNATE UNIVERSES WHEN HE ASKS THE QUESTION EVERYONE IN THE COMPOUND HAS BEEN WAITING FOR.

THE ONE WITH THE CHARITY GALA — DRABBLE

PETER ASKED YOU TO BE HIS FAKE DATE TO TONY STARK’S CHARITY GALA. (COLLEGE!AU)

THE ONE WITH THE CHARITY GALA PRT 2 — DRABBLE

WHO KNEW PETER WOULD PICK YOU OVER OSCAR ISAAC?

THE ONE WITH RUMLOW AND THE SPY — DRABBLE

YOU AND YOUR AGENCY WORK FOR TONY STARK SO YOU CAN CATCH BROCK RUMLOW. ALONG THE WAY, YOU RUN INTO PETER PARKER.

THE ONE WITH RUMLOW AND THE SPY PRT 2 — DRABBLE

YOU’RE FORCED TO STAY BACK AND CLEAN. YOU RUN INTO PETER PARKER ONCE AGAIN.

THE ONE WITH THE KNIFE VINE — DRABBLE

YOU AND PETER GET CAKE AS A REWARD.

THE ONE WHERE TONY HAS TO DO ALL THE WORK — DRABBLE

TONY THINKS YOU AND THE KID ARE CUTE. UNTIL HE HAS TO WAKE YOU TWO UP.

THE ONE WITH THE DIMENSION HOPPER — DRABBLE

YOU’RE STARGAZING WHEN PETER DECIDES TO BE A PAIN IN THE ASS. (FEATURING BECK!READER)

THE ONE WITH WUTHERING HEIGHTS — DRABBLE

PETER WANTED TO HAVE A “STUDY SESSION.”

THE ONE WITH THE SALAD —DRABBLE

YOU AND PETER ARE ON YOUR FIRST DATE SINCE TONY FOUND OUT YOU TWO WERE DATING.

THE ONE WITH THE FEAR OF BIKES — DRABBLE

YOU DON’T DIG BIKES AT ALL.

THE ONE WITH THE NEW YORK SIREN — DRABBLE

SPIDER-MAN IS FACE TO FACE WITH NEW YORK’S NEWEST VIGILANTE.

THE ONE WITH THE FRUIT PUNCH — DRABBLE

PETER FINALLY TALKS TO YOU AT A PARTY. TONY HAS TO INTERRUPT BEFORE YOU DO MORE THAN TALKING. (FEATURING COLLEGE!PETER X COLLEGE!READER)

SPRING HAS SPRUNG — ONESHOT (REQUESTED)

SPRING BREAK MEANT COMING HOME AND RUNNING AWAY FROM YOUR PROBLEMS FOR A WEEK OR TWO. HOWEVER, THE SECOND PETER PARKER COMES TO YOUR PLACE TO CRASH FOR A FEW DAYS, YOU FIGURE OUT THAT YOUR PROBLEMS FOLLOWED YOU INTO THE COMFORT OF YOUR OWN HOME. (FEATURING COLLEGE!PETER X COLLEGE STARK!READER)

MICHELLE JONES

REEVALUATION — ONESHOT (REQUESTED)

YOU AND MJ HAVE BEEN HAVING SOME TROUBLES IN YOUR FRIENDSHIP FOR THE PAST COUPLE OF WEEKS, AND IT TAKES THE ART COMPETITION AT MIDTOWN HIGH TO GET TO THE BOTTOM OF WHY SHE’S BEEN ACTING SO RUDE TO YOU.

THE ONE WITH THE ENGLISH CLASS — DRABBLE

MJ TRIES IMPRESSING YOU DURING YOUR ENGLISH CLASS.

MATT MURDOCK

POOL — ONESHOT

IT’S DATE NIGHT FOR YOU AND MATT, SO YOU BOTH DECIDED IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO PLAY A NICE FRIENDLY GAME OF POOL IN JOSIE’S BAR.

THE ONE WITH THE DEVIL’S BABY — DRABBLE

YOU’VE BEEN SICK LATELY AND TRIED TO HIDE IT.

BLUE MOON — ONESHOT/POTENTIAL SERIES

AFTER A ROUGH BREAKUP YOU HEAD BACK TO THE ONE PLACE THAT’LL HELP YOU DROWN YOUR IMPENDING SORROWS: JOSIE’S.

THE ONE WITH THE KNOCK OFF DAREDEVIL SUIT — DRABBLE

YOU AND MATT ARE HEADING TO FOGGY’S HALLOWEEN PARTY.

STEPHEN STRANGE

SILVIA AND THE GOOGLE SEARCH — ONESHOT

SILVIA’S FEELING A LITTLE UNDER THE WEATHER AND INSTEAD OF INFORMING HER FATHER, SHE GOOGLES HER SYMPTOMS. STEPHEN WISHES SHE DIDN’T DO THAT. (FEATURING MY OC SILVIA STRANGE, FATHER!STEPHEN STRANGE)

THE ONE WITH PERSUASION — DRABBLE

STEPHEN’S TRYING TO CONVINCE YOU TO COME TO A PARTY AS HIS PLUS ONE. (TECHNICAL PROLOGUE FOR A NEW ER NURSE!READER FIC)

PIECES OF EGG — ONESHOT

YOU WERE COOKING BREAKFAST WHEN YOUR FAVORITE SONG CAME ON. (FEATURING ER NURSE!READER)

THE ONE WITH THE PREGNANCY SCARE — DRABBLE

YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE PREGNANT AND END UP SUGGESTING AN ALTERNATIVE BIRTH CONTROL METHOD TO STEPHEN.

THE ONE WITH THE HAMILTON BIOGRAPHY — DRABBLE

STEPHEN STARTS HIS FIRST DAY AT STARK AND POTTS ILLUSTRATED MEETING YOU.

THE ONE WITH THE BASSET HOUND — DRABBLE

YOU REALLY WANT STEPHEN’S DOG.

THE ONE WITH UNREQUITED LOVE — DRABBLE

YOU KNEW YOU FELT SOMETHING FOR STEPHEN. BUT HE LOVED CHRISTINE.

THE ONE WITH THE SECOND DATE — DRABBLE

STEPHEN STRANGE IS GENUINELY A GOOD DATE.

THE ONE WITH SPAGHETTI NIGHT — DRABBLE

STEPHEN’S DAUGHTER TRIES TO KNOCK SOME SENSE INTO HIM. (FEATURING MY OC, SILVIA STRANGE!)

THE ONE WITH THE CHAI LATTE — DRABBLE

STEPHEN JUST WANTED TO GET COFFEE BEFORE HIS MEETING.

THE ONE WITH THE HARRY POTTER REFERENCE — DRABBLE

YOU NEVER THOUGHT YOU’D SEE THE DAY STEPHEN GETS ASSIGNED A NICKNAME BY TONY STARK.

THE ONE WITH THE POTENTIAL MUGGING — DRABBLE

STEPHEN’S DOORS ARE OPEN TO YOU 24/7.

THE ONE WITH THE SOCK THIEF — DRABBLE

STEPHEN’S HURT AND YOU PATCH HIM UP.

THE ONE WHERE YOU REMIND YOURSELF OF TWILIGHT — DRABBLE

YOU CAN’T SLEEP AND DECIDE THAT STARING AT YOUR BOYFRIEND IS A GOOD PASTIME.

I’LL LIVE TO SEE ANOTHER DAY — ONESHOT

YOU’RE FINALLY BACK IN YOUR APARTMENT FROM YOUR LONG SHIFT AT METRO-GENERAL, BUT YOUR MYSTICAL BOYFRIEND DECIDED YOU COULDN’T TAKE A BREAK YET. (FEATURING ER NURSE!READER)

BATTLE OF WIT — ONESHOT

STEPHEN REALIZES AFTER YOUR MOST RECENT BATTLE THAT HE CAN’T LOSE YOU, NO MATTER THE CIRCUMSTANCE. HE’S JUST... TERRIBLE AT EXPRESSING HIS FEELINGS PROPERLY.

WADE WILSON

SHOULDA, COULDA, WOULDA — ONESHOT

WADE DIDN’T WANT TO RUIN HIS KID’S NIGHT WITH HER ‘BOYFRIEND,’ BUT HE DIDN’T HAVE MUCH OF A CHOICE, SHE HAD A RIGHT TO KNOW. (FEATURING FATHER!WADE WILSON AND PETER PARKER X DEADPOOL’S!DAUGHTER)

STEVE ROGERS

PROMISES PROMISES — ONESHOT

STEVE WISHES YOU’D STOP REMINISCING WHEN YOU’RE LITERALLY BLEEDING OUT IN HIS ARMS.

THE ONE WITH THE COFFEE SHOP — DRABBLE

BUCKY CATCHES STEVE SKETCHING A GIRL WHO ALWAYS COMES TO A LOCAL COFFEE SHOP ACROSS THE STREET FROM THEIR APARTMENT AND CONVINCES HIM TO TALK TO HER.

THE ONE WITH THE COFFEE SHOP PRT 2 — DRABBLE

STEVE FINALLY GETS THE COURAGE TO TALK TO THE GIRL WITH THE SHIELD HAT AND CIA PATCH.

THE ONE WITH THE GINGERBREAD ZOMBIES — DRABBLE

YOU WISH HALLOWEEN WAS CELEBRATED A LOT MORE THAN CHRISTMAS IS.

THE ONE WITH THE STUTTER — DRABBLE

YOU’RE TRYING TO TELL STEVE SOMETHING IMPORTANT.

TONY STARK

THE ONE WITH NO RESOLUTION — DRABBLE

TONY FEELS OBLIGATED TO FIND A WAY TO GET EVERYONE BACK. (SOME AVENGERS: ENDGAME SPOILERS!!)

THE ONE WITH THE GOLDFISH — DRABBLE

YOUR NIECE LOVES MAKING A MESS.

THE ONE WITH THE DRUNK LOVER — DRABBLE

YOU HAD A GIRLS NIGHT AND WENT A LITTLE OVERBOARD.

THE ONE WITH YOUR NIECE — DRABBLE

YOUR NIECE GIVES TONY THE BEST CROWN AROUND.

THE ONE WITH THE DINNER CONTRACT — DRABBLE

YOU AND TONY ARE BACK FROM TRAVELING TO VISIT YOUR FAMILY AND FIND THAT JET LAG IS A GIFT THAT KEEPS ON GIVING.

THE ONE WITH THE DOG — DRABBLE

TRYING TO CONVINCE TONY STARK TO GET A DOG FOR THE AVENGERS IS HARD UNTIL THOR IS BROUGHT INTO THE MIX.

THE ONE WITH THE PEPPERMINT — DRABBLE

TONY OFFERS YOU A DRINK YOU HAVE TO REFUSE.

LOKI ODINSON/LAUFEYSON

THE ONE WITH THE TRICKSTER — DRABBLE

LOKI WOKE YOU UP BY GIVING YOU A WET-WILLIE.

THE ONE WITH THE BOZO — DRABBLE

AT STARK AND POTTS ILLUSTRATED, LOKI BULLIES YOU OVER YOUR HEIGHT.

THE ONE WITH OTHELLO — DRABBLE

LOKI WAS READING OTHELLO WHEN HE MET HIS SOULMATE.

THE ONE WITH THE GUN — DRABBLE

YOU THOUGHT SOMEONE BROKE INTO YOUR ROOM.

THE ONE WHERE THOR RETALIATED — DRABBLE

LOKI GOT A RETRACTABLE KNIFE AS A GIFT. YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE AFTERMATH OF HIS ACTIONS, AS USUAL.

THE ONE WITH TRYING NEW THINGS — DRABBLE

LOKI TRIES TO ACT LIKE A MIDGARDIAN WHEN YOU NEED TO SHOP FOR A STARK GALA.

THE ONE WITH DEVELOPING POWERS — DRABBLE

YOU’RE FREEZING GLASSES OF WATER. LOKI’S THERE FOR HELP.

THE ONE WITH TRYING NEW THINGS — DRABBLE

LOKI ACCOMPANIES YOU TO PREPARE FOR STARK’S GALA AND TRIES MIDGARDIAN FOOD.

THE ONE WITH THE ASGARDIAN BALL — DRABBLE

YOU’RE PROVING TO ODIN YOU CAN ATTEND A BALL.

KISSES AND CONSTELLATIONS — ONESHOT

YOU AND LOKI ARE CHILDHOOD SWEETHEARTS, NAVIGATING YOUR FIRST DATE. IT’S AWKWARD, UNTIL YOU REALIZE YOU HAD NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT AT ALL.

SHIRTLESS WONDERS — ONESHOT

WHEN YOU GO LOOKING FOR LOKI, YOU FIND THAT IN THE MIDST OF BATTLE HE HAD BEEN INJURED. WHILE TENDING TO HIS WOUNDS, SOME THINGS COME TO LIGHT.

JOYRIDE — ONESHOT

YOU’RE HEADING BACK TO YOUR APARTMENT AFTER A GAME NIGHT AT A FRIEND’S PLACE WHEN YOU ENCOUNTER LOKI FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE HIS INVASION IN 2012.

BUCKY BARNES

THE ONE WITH THE COOKING SHOW — DRABBLE

YOU DIDN’T EXPECT YOUR BOYFRIEND TO GET HEATED OVER A SHOW.

THE ONE WITH THE SNOWBALL FIGHT — DRABBLE

A SNOW DAY WITH THE WINTER SOLDIER

THE ONE WITH THE ORIGINAL COKE — DRABBLE

A 1940′S COKE IS HARD TO FIND NOW-A-DAYS.

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bountyofbeads · 5 years

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The Liberation of Mitt Romney

The newly rebellious senator has become an outspoken dissident in Trump’s Republican Party, just in time for the president’s impeachment trial.

MCKAY COPPINS | Published OCT 20, 2019 | The Atlantic | Posted October 21, 2019 |

Updated: Sunday, October 20, 2019, at 9:32 p.m. ET

Mitt Romney is leaning forward in his chair, his eyes flashing, his voice sharp.

It’s a strange look for the 72-year-old senator, who typically affects a measured, somber tone when discussing Donald Trump’s various moral deficiencies. But after weeks of escalating combat with the president—over Ukraine, and China, and Syria, and impeachment—the gentleman from Utah suddenly appears ready to unload.

What set him off was my recitation of an argument I’ve heard some Republicans deploy lately to excuse Trump’s behavior. Electing a president, the argument goes, is like hiring a plumber—you don’t care about his character, you just want him to get the job done. Sitting in his Senate office, Romney is indignant. “Are you worried that your plumber overcharges you?” he asks. “Are you worried that the plumber’s going to scream at your kids? Are you worried that the plumber is going to squeal out of your driveway?” I am playing devil’s advocate; he is attempting an exorcism.

To Romney, Trump’s performance as president is inextricably tangled up in his character. “Berating another person, or calling them names, or demeaning a class of people, not telling the truth—those are not private things,” he says, adding: “If during the campaign you pay a porn star $130,000, that now comes into the public domain.”

At this, Romney glances over at two of his aides who are watching silently from the other end of the room, and grins. “They’re going, Oh gosh, shut up.”

I’ve spent the past several months in an ongoing conversation with Romney as he’s navigated a Washington that grows more hostile by the day. Before arriving in the Senate, Romney nurtured a pleasant delusion that he could somehow avoid being defined by his relationship with Trump. He had his own policy agenda to advance, his own vision for the future of the Republican Party. He would use his platform to take a stand against Trumpism, while largely ignoring Trump himself. When I would speak with his friends and allies in Utah during last year’s campaign, there was often a certain dilettantish quality in the future Senator Romney they envisioned—a venerable elder statesman dabbling in legislation the way a retiree takes up tennis.

Instead, Romney has emerged as an outspoken dissident in Trump’s Republican Party. In just the past few weeks, he has denounced the president’s attempts to solicit dirt on political rivals from foreign governments as “wrong and appalling”; suggested that his fellow Republicans are looking the other way out of a desire for power; and condemned Trump’s troop withdrawal in Syria as a “bloodstain on the annals of American history.”

Trump has responded with a wrathful procession of personal attacks—deriding Romney as a “pompous ass,” taunting him over his failed presidential bid in 2012, and tweeting a cartoonish video that tags the senator as a “Democrat secret asset.”

These confrontations have turned Romney into one of the most closely watched figures in the impeachment battle now consuming Washington. While his fellow Republicans rail against “partisan witch hunts” and “fake whistle-blowers,” Romney is taking the prospect of a Senate trial seriously—he’s reviewing The Federalist Papers, brushing up on parliamentary procedure, and staying open to the idea that the president may need to be evicted from the Oval Office.

In the nine years I’ve been covering Romney, I’ve never seen him quite so liberated. Unconstrained by consultants, unconcerned about reelection, he is thinking about things such as legacy, and inheritance, and the grand sweep of history. Here, in the twilight of his career, he seems to sense—in a way that eludes many of his colleagues—that he’ll be remembered for what he does in this combustible moment. “I do think people will view this as an inflection point in American history,” Romney tells me.

“I don’t look at myself as being a historical figure,” he hastens to add, “but I do think these are critical times. And I hope that what I’m doing will open the way for people to take a different path.”

With his neat coif, square jaw, and G-rated diction, Romney has always emanated a kind of old-fashioned civic starchiness. In the past, this quality has been the object of occasional ridicule. (During his 2012 presidential bid, reporters like me often snickered at his penchant for quoting lines from “America the Beautiful,” which he called his favorite of the “patriotic hymns.”) But in these decidedly more vulgar times, there is a certain appeal to the senator’s wholesomeness.

When I first caught up with Romney, in June, he was in a buoyant mood, preparing to deliver his “maiden speech” from the Senate floor later that day. I asked him how he was settling in. “This is great!” he replied. “I mean, everybody told me I was going to hate it here.”

I confessed that I was among those who thought he might not enjoy being the 97th most senior member of the Senate.

“I think people forget I worked for 10 years as a management consultant,” Romney said, referring to his time at Bain & Company. “Which meant I was able to make no decisions, I was able to get nothing done, and I had to try and convince people through a long process.” In retrospect, it seems, he was destined for the U.S. Congress.

Romney told me that he doesn’t think much anymore about his 2012 defeat to Barack Obama. “My life is not defined in my own mind by political wins and losses,” he said. “You know, I had my career in business, I’ve got my family, my faith—that’s kind of my life, and this is something I do to make a difference. So I don’t attach the kind of—I don’t know—psychic currency to it that people who made politics their entire life.”

Not everyone he’s met in the Senate shares this outlook, he said. “People are really friendly, they’re really nice—except Bernie,” he said, laughing. “He’s a curmudgeon. It’s not that he’s mean or whatever; he just kind of scowls, you know”—Romney hunched his back and summoned a Scrooge-like grunt. “For Bernie, it seems like this is kind of who he is. It’s defining. It’s his entire person. For me, it’s part of who I am, but it’s not the whole person.”

After he was elected in November, Romney began typing out a list on his iPad of all the things he wanted to accomplish in the Senate. It was 50 items long by the time he showed it to his staff, and though they laughed, he continued undeterred. By the time we spoke, it had grown to 60, with priorities ranging from complex systemic reforms—overhauling the immigration system, reducing the deficit, addressing climate change—to narrower issues such as compensating college athletes and regulating the vaping industry.

As he searched the Senate for legislative partners, Romney told me, he was warned that his efforts were likely doomed. Even in less polarized, less chaotic times, the kind of ambitious agenda he had in mind would be unrealistic. But Romney was steadfast in his optimism. “I’m not here to say it can’t happen,” he told me.

When I broached the subject of Trump that afternoon in June, Romney’s face didn’t register the familiar mix of panic and dread that most GOP lawmakers exhibit these days when faced with questions about the president. If anything, he seemed a little bored by the topic. I had heard repeatedly from people close to Romney that his decision to run for Senate was motivated in part by his alarm at Trump’s ascent. But he still seemed to believe that he could illuminate a path forward for his party without incessantly feuding with the president. “I’m not in the White House,” he told me. “I tried for that job; I didn’t get it. So all I can do from where I am is to say, ‘All right, how do we get things done from here?’”

Anyone familiar with the fraught history between Trump and Romney might have known that a detente was unsustainable. Trump has nursed a grudge since 2016, when Romney denounced him as a “phony” and a “fraud,” and warned of the “trickle-down racism” that would accompany his election. After he won, Trump briefly considered tapping Romney as his secretary of state, but the match was not to be. And in the years that have followed, the tension between the two men has only grown more exaggerated.

They manage that tension in different ways: While the president spent a too-online Saturday earlier this month unloading on Twitter—launching #IMPEACHMITTROMNEY into the canon of viral Trump taunts—Romney enjoyed a quiet afternoon picking apples with his grandkids in Utah and refusing to take the bait. When I met him in his office a couple of weeks later, I asked if the Twitter insults bothered him.

“That’s kind of what he does,” Romney said with a shrug, and then got up to retrieve an iPad from his desk. He explained that he uses a secret Twitter account—“What do they call me, a lurker?”—to keep tabs on the political conversation. “I won’t give you the name of it,” he said, but “I’m following 668 people.” Swiping at his tablet, he recited some of the accounts he follows, including journalists, late-night comedians (“What’s his name, the big redhead from Boston?”), and athletes. Trump was not among them. “He tweets so much,” Romney said, comparing the president to one of his nieces who overshares on Instagram. “I love her, but it’s like, Ah, it’s too much.” (After this story was published, Slate identified a Twitter account using the name Pierre Delecto that seemed to match the senator’s description of his lurker account. When I spoke to Romney on the phone Sunday night, his only response was, “C'est moi.”)

He understands, of course, that many of his Republican colleagues live in fear of being subjected to a presidential Twitter tirade. In fact, some believe that Trump’s targeting of Romney is intended as a warning to other GOP lawmakers lest they step out of line. That fear is one of the reasons his caucus has attempted such elaborate rhetorical contortions to defend Trump as the House impeachment inquiry turns up damning evidence. “I think it’s very natural for people to look at circumstances and see them in the light that’s most amenable to their maintaining power,” he told me in an interview last month at The Atlantic Festival.

Romney told me that he does not have an abstract definition of “high crimes and misdemeanors,” and that when it comes to identifying impeachable acts, he follows Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart’s famous standard for defining hard-core porn: “I’ll know it when I see it.” Asked if he’s seen it yet, Romney told me that he’ll make up his mind once he hears all the evidence at the trial: “At this stage, I am strenuously avoiding trying to make any judgment.”

In the meantime, Romney is leading the Republican revolt over the president’s recent decision to pull troops out of northern Syria, leaving America’s Kurdish allies behind. In a withering speech on the Senate floor last week, he condemned the administration’s betrayal of the Kurds, and called for hearings on the matter. He told me that he wants to see a transcript of the phone call between Trump and Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdoğan that preceded the troop withdrawal. “This is not just a disagreement on foreign policy,” he said. “This is a violation of fundamental American honor.”

Amid all the tumult, Romney has come to terms with the fact that there will be little progress on his legislative to-do list for the foreseeable future. (Between impeachment proceedings and next year’s elections, who has time to pass laws?) Nor is Romney especially well positioned to launch a bid for the Republican presidential nomination, despite endless fantasizing by pundits. (He has said he’s not planning to run again.) While his battles with the president have earned him plaudits from some in Utah—where support for Trump is uncommonly weak for a red state—he is widely viewed as a villain in MAGA world.

But Romney is looking beyond the next year, and beyond the president’s base, as he tries to lay the groundwork for a post-Trump Republican Party. While he acknowledges the failures of his own presidential campaign, he told me that he doubts Trump’s electoral coalition will be replicable in the long run. “We have to get young people and Hispanics and African Americans to vote Republican,” he said, adding that he hopes these voters will see his resistance to Trump as a sign that one day they could find a home in the GOP. If that seems naive, the senator is probably okay with it. In cynical times like these, someone has to serve as the guardian of lost causes.

After all, Romney said, “the president will not be the president forever.”

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antistudyblr · 6 years

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things i learned during my first year of college

I’ve been home for two weeks now, and I’ve been thinking a lot about my first year of college and everything I’ve learned. I’ve definitely changed and grown into a better person in the last 9 months so here are some reflections on the most important things I’ve taken away from the experience.

It’s okay to be lonely (sometimes) because everyone is. This is the hardest thing to come to grips with, and I don’t think anyone at any stage of their life really understands it. It’s especially heightened in college, when it seems like everyone else is hanging out their their friends all the time while you’re sitting alone in your room or eating dinner alone. It wasn’t until I was talking to some of my first-year friends near the end of the year that I realized everyone feels these moments of isolation, no matter how many friends they seem to have with them all the time. It’s normal. But, if you’re feeling lonely or isolated from the community often or it’s in any way detrimental to your mental health, reach out to a friend or mental health professional.

Lower your standards or it won’t be manageable otherwise. I was in group therapy this year, in a group geared toward getting things done (helpful as a chronic procrastinator with ADHD). And while discussing me not finishing Spanish readings, someone in the group gently reminded me that I wasn’t in high school anymore. I was still getting good grades and participating in class; who cares if I didn’t read every page or used English aids to help me get through. Now this might be different for others--maybe you don’t copy out your notes until they're pristine anymore, or don’t work every problem til it matches the answer key. But college is different than high school. Depending on your future plans, getting straight As may matter less, and it’s definitely more difficult. You have to recognize that and adjust your study habits accordingly or you’ll be stressed constantly and not enjoying your new experience.

Please, don’t buy your textbooks before the first day of class. You’ve heard it before, but it’s a real issue. I know you’re excited, but save your money and sanity. Wait and head to the library for any pressing needs in week 1.

Find a professor you can talk to. aka go to office hours. My Literature Humanities professor has been an absolute gift; we’ve had amazing conversations about literature, politics, and life in general. She’s helped me through hard moments (like an issue with affording textbooks) and given me amazing advice. Having someone like this in my life has been indispensable. And guess what? I only connected with her after going to office hours. (An older friend can serve the same mentor role, but still go to office hours anyway. They’re more useful than you think, and you’ll need letters of rec some day)

Say yes to new experiences. Don’t do anything that will put you in danger or that makes you incredibly uncomfortable. But that club that seems cool and totally different than what you did in high school? Go to a meeting or fill out an application. Your friends are going to a party/concert/museum/something? Tag along and see what’s up. I joined our school’s blog, and ran for band board on impulse and it’s been some of the best and most formative experiences I’ve had so far.

Have some kind of reliable income. I didn’t have a job my first semester and it made my year so much harder than it needed to be. From buying spring textbooks to being able to do fun things with my friends in the city, I was so hindered in every way. Whether it’s a job or an allowance from family, having a small, steady stream of money makes life so much less stressful in the long run.

Make friends in class. I’m so bad at this, and next year I’m going to work on taking my own advice more. Having someone to do your homework with or get notes from when you miss class is so important. You’re going to miss (or skip) occasionally; that’s when you need it. They also make class(especially a bad class) more enjoyable!

Your friendships are going to take work and time. Unless you’re going to school with a dozen of your closest friends, you’re essentially starting from scratch with your relationships. Don’t try to push things too hard; it’s okay if you only have surface-level friendships with everyone after a few months. You have to be willing to be the one to make plans, open yourself up, and dedicate time to these new friendships (or romantic relationships). Reaching out can be hard and, it’ll take trial and error, but you’ll find what works best for you in this new environment and, hopefully, a great group of friends as well.

You will fail. It might not be a test or a class, but it’s going to come up eventually. I got rejected from every club I applied or auditioned for and it made my first month at Columbia hurt a lot. My summer internship search was a disaster and it was all my fault. You’ve got to pick yourself up after and make the best. It’ll teach you more than success ever did; for me, it was incredibly humbling and showed me where I need to work. Push past the “I’ll never do well again” toward the “Well, that was shitty. What do I do about it so I can make it better or it doesn’t happen again?”

Advocate for resources/what you need (your adviser should help). Colleges have so many resources: from free counselling to study abroad fellowships to lending libraries for low-income students. It’s all there for you. But you’re going to be the one who has to navigate these often confusing straits. Talk to older students and your adviser, who should have knowledge of all of these resources or be willing to help you look. If they’re not helpful or supportive (not just in looking for resources), it might be time to think about getting another adviser.

Ask for help. Whether it’s seeing a counselor to help your mental health, getting advice from a friend, or asking a professor for a much-needed extension, don’t be afraid to speak up. These people are here to help you, and most want to see you succeed. And if you get a hard-ass professor or a bad counselor, don’t let that be a deterrent to asking for a different counselor or an extension in a different class.

Talk to your roommate. Maybe you don’t want your roommate walking in on a heavy make-out with your significant other or you can’t sleep with the lights on. Know that whatever dumb rooommate agreement you sign at the beginning of the year probably won’t hold, and adjust accordingly. The important thing to remember is that the conversation is always ongoing and you have to speak up if something is bothering you.

It’s okay to change your mind. I came into school a political science and Hispanic studies double major and I was determined to stick to my path. But one day, at a group therapy session, I was complaining about my frustration at being unable to finish my Spanish readings for seemingly no reason and an upperclassman basically asked “Have you ever thought that you don’t want to do it because this isn’t right for you?” He basically changed my life in that moment and I realized that my plans can and should change. If I’m spending thousands at this institution, I should be loving what I study instead of trying to maximize my potential to sell out to finance or corporate law. As a first year, you have so much time. Don’t be afraid to admit that what you thought was your best plan when you were 6 or 12 or 17 isn’t working for you now and go for something that’s more rewarding for you.

I could keep going, but this is long enough. If you want to hear any more about my first year thoughts, experiences, advice, don’t be afraid to ask!

#isabel says things #isabel gives advice #studyblr #college freshman #first year of college #college life #freshman year #first year foray #long post #i might do a legit personal reflection later idk #enjoy this reblog it whatever

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fairlywonderful · 6 years

Text

GOT7 Fan-fic. Rec.

So, since I’ve read like 80% of fics in the Got7 fandom, I though I’d do a fic rec, to help you (potential reader) and so that I finally can have a list of my favorite fics. These are not all the fics I’ve read, just the first ones that came to my mind. Also most of it consist of JJP, but I will add more pairings as I go! This list is not yet complete, I’m working on completing it, it just takes a lot of time to search for these fics. None of these fics are mine, all credits go to the amazing authors! The only things that are mine, are the little reviews after each fic! Good read! :)

M = Mature / Explicit W = Trigger Warning ♡ = fave

!still under editing!

Jaebum / Jinyoung

* M - Anteroom by minhyukie

Summary: How do you act around your ex with your child in the other room? It’s been almost a year and a half, and Jinyoung has yet to figure it out.

Review: soooo goood!! It’s extremely angsty but its so worth it! The growth of the character is portrayed really well, the side characters are awesome and such an important part of everything, I loved it so much! Also kid!yugyeom is always a plus! ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

*M - Jaebum’s Color Theory by pepijr

Summary: Jinyoung is a film studies professor trying to get promoted and Jaebum does his best to help.

Review: Alright, in this one Jaebum is the cutest but dumbest human being. Like he’s really dense but it’s so on point and it’s so lovable it’s unreal. Everything is perfect about this one.♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

*M - Meet The Parents by pepijr

Summary: Jinyoung loves Jaebum, and Jaebum loves him back, but a single note makes him question everything.

Review: It’s a continuation of Jaebum’s Color Theory, thank god the author has decided to bless us with more of this universe! It’s still ongoing but it’s just as good as the first one if not better! ♡♡♡♡♡♡

*M - The Park Family Recipe by pepijr

Summary: Jaebum and Jinyoung meet after six years with a lot more baggage than they remember.

Review: Another single dad!Jinyoung au (well kinda, Hyunjin is his little brother but he takes care of him). Jinyoung has a lot of problems but orphan!Jaebum is ready to fight for the family he choose.

*M - bdsm quiz by okjb

Summary: jjp take a bdsm quiz and come to some interesting self-discoveries

Review: this one is pure smut lol

*M - Nora’s Dairies by pepijr

Summary: In which Nora makes sure that Jinyoung and Jaebum meet in every life.

Review: ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

*M - Take All Of Me by fishcake

Summary: It has bothered Jaebum since the day he could comprehend it.

Review: We need more omega!Jaebum in our life. ♡♡

* M - bloom by subsequence

Summary: Jaebum may have learned to accept his role as future king, but accepting this new role — the thought makes him sick to his stomach.If he could have, Jaebum would have chosen any other way to present as an omega.(Or: Omegaverse Arranged Marriage AU featuring Princes!JJP and a cast of loudmouth extras.)

Review: So good???? Like this one is right up my ally, I just fucking love everything about this one. Seriously, do yourself a favor and read it. ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

* M - Playboy by comingbacktoyou

Summary: Jaebum's intentions are obvious. Jinyoung doesn't get the hint.

Review: HOLY HOLY OH MY. Jaebum is a producer who's desperate for dick, Jinyoung is a new artist acting all prude bUT JUST WAIT FOR IT. Cute Markson in the bg. ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

* M - The Tiger and the Duke by foxxing

Summary: Im Jaebum is the richest man in the country under forty, content to mess around and skirt the headlines as a cutthroat businessman and casual playboy. Park Jinyoung is a graduated English Literature major, content with (in Jackson's words) his boring life working at a restaurant and writing poetry. When their worlds collide over a spilled cup of coffee, Jinyoung learns there's a lot more to life than the secrets of his past and the safety of library books.

Review: This one is literally a JJP classic. Long af but sooo worth the read. The characters really just grow on you, even if they are dumb af sometimes :( also GREAT SMUT

* M - Wilder by Sugarbowl

Summary: Newly graduated, Jinyoung is determined to try new things. New parties, new boys, and when Mark asks for a favor, even volunteering as a counselor at summer camp. But new experiences can get complicated, and he quickly finds himself a little out of his depth.

Review: Another classic. I live for the sex scene in at the end. Jaebum is confused and doesn't know how to stand up for himself and Jinyoung is jealous af but also kind of insecure. But they make a great pair together :'). ALSO great smut (!), awesome Markson and cute af Yugbam plus a bunch of great Kpop cross overs (!!).

* M - Charade by Sugarbowl

Summary: Jaebum and Jinyoung walk parallel paths in many ways, but Jaebum isn't interested in their intersection. Jaebum struggles to support his young son on his own, while everything seems to come easy for wealthy, charming Jinyoung. But when they're forced to partner for a project, Jaebum finds himself a bit more willing, and much more in need.

Review: Another great fic by Sugarbowl. It's still ongoing but this fic is so beautiful. Both Jaebum's and Jinyoung's feelings are portrayed extremely well and the way they come together is beautiful. Plus kid!Yugyeom is adorable. ♡♡

* M - Citation by KingJackson

Summary: When the one book he needs for an important term paper has to remain in the campus library, Jinyoung catches the eye of Jaebum, a library assistant.

Review: Another classic. Jinyoung is dumb af in this fic, I literally was on the verge of screaming while reading this. But luckily Jaebum is soft af, so everything works out in the end :DD Great smut is always a plus! ♡

* M - Flux by foxxing

Summary: Jinyoung doesn't love him back.

an AU where jaebum and jinyoung have been best friends for their entire lives, and where jaebum has always been irrevocably in love with him but somehow, jinyoung just doesn't seem to get it.

Review: Another fic that makes me scream. LIKE SERIOUSlY WTF. My heart ached so much during this fic :( But as always everything works out but man, this was an emotional ride for me. ♡

* M - Compas Calling by Sugarbowl

Summary: Prince Jinyoung is destined for a lifetime of luxury, until he's shoved in a trunk and accidentally abducted. Im Jaebum clawed his way out of poverty to captain a pirate ship and... not much else, actually. Jinyoung could be his first real treasure, if Jaebum could just figure out how holding someone for ransom actually works.

Review: BEST FUCKING FIC OF THE CENTURY DO YOU HEAR ME I'VE RE-READ THIS ONE SO MANY TIMES IT'S THE BEST OMG ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

* M - A certain Romance by foxxing

Summary: By day, he's a top-rated babysitter. By weekends he's an x-rated escort. These things are generally kept separate, until the day his weekend regular gets his phone number by recommendation and calls for an emergency babysitter. The problem is that Jaebum doesn't know that Junior the escort is also Jinyoung the babysitter.

In which Jaebum and Jinyoung know each other in the biblical sense but maybe want to get to know each other, too.

Review: okay this fic is like really hot and kid!yugyeom is back at it with being adorable :')♡♡

* Unless by gotchick

Summary: jaebum had always been mark's best friend, while jinyoung was mark's kid brother. (high school au)

Review: Really cute au, the progress of growing up is portrayed well and realistically. (Spoiler! Honestly I live for the scene where JB throws a pillow on Jinyoung's surprise boner to save him :'DD )

* M - Wildcat by foxxing

Summary: No one really talks about it, but it's a well known secret that Jaebum’s real vice is racing cars. Dangerous and incredibly illegal, street racing is the one thing Jaebum is good at (besides being the nation’s first pain in the ass) and has never been caught for. How he does it, nobody knows: Jaebum's been caught for drugs, for stealing, for fighting, but it seems like the one thing the police can never pin him down for is the one thing he loves the most.

He represents everything that Jinyoung can't stand, and Jinyoung hates him.

Review: this is some A+++++ smut right here. ♡

* W - the grandfather paradox by symmetrophobic

Summary: Jaebum locks himself in a cyclic normalcy of work, home, life, and the two people he now loves most in the world- his husband Jinyoung and six-year-old son Yugyeom. So when a mysterious teenager shows up in his life and messes all that up, to say that he's just a little displeased by the change would be an understatement. But Jaebum soon discovers there's more to this quiet, truthful boy than meets the eye, and knows that he has just about four days to find out why.

Review: Amazing fic, but my heart hurts so bad :(((((((((

* M - Prove it by Got7hearts

Summary: For as long as he can remember Jaebum has always been there, protecting him and taking care of him like the big brother he never had so what happens when Jaebum is pronounced an alpha and Jinyoung an omega and the air between the two suddenly shifts.

Review: Great A/B/O fic and hot af smut!

* Of duchebags and pretty boys by schoetheisrealaf

Summary: "Dear Dog Biscuit, Since you seem unable to understand the sign that clearly indicates that this parking space is to be exclusively used by the staff of this facility, I’ll kindly explain it to you again: Until you’re an employee of the state who works his ass off for society only to get shit wages and the worst working hours you CAN’T USE THIS PARKING LOT, SO FUCK OFF! Apart from that, have a nice day. PS.: I hope you don’t have sex for a year. :)"

You steal my parking spot all the time and I was just heading out to leave a strongly worded note under your windshield wiper but oh no you're hot AU Starring Jinyoung the kindergarten teacher and Jaebum the (arrogant yet dorky) business man

Review: I JUST LOVE THIS FIC IT'S SO CUTE OK?!?♡♡♡♡♡♡

* M - lagoon by gotchick

Summary: in elegant terms, jaebum is jinyoung's sponsor. in inelegant terms, he's jinyoung's sugar daddy.

* M - Walls of Glass by hakka is_shadow, katamari

Summary: The city's social structure is firm and unyielding--Alphas at the top, Betas in the middle, and Omegas as pliant, broken servants to the Alphas. When Im Jaebum, the heir of an old Alpha family suddenly finds his social position flipped, he's thrown into a world of intrigue, deceit, and as the very unwilling servant to an even more unwilling Park Jinyoung.

Review: OK SO THIS IS LIKE ONE OF THE BEST WRITTEN FIC IN THIS FANDOM. LIKE THE UNIVERSE IS SO WELL MADE AND THE PROGRESS OF JJP RELATIONSHIP MAKES MY HEART SWELL UP WITH LOVE ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

* Come Soflty (to Me) by Sugarbowl

Summary: Jinyoung is new in town, and Jaebum is trouble. 50's AU

* M - Spoor by maledict

Summary: It wasn’t odd, to present so late, but that wasn’t the problem.

Review: I don't like to read canon fics, but this one was a great one.

* an apple a day by moonlikeyou

Summary: Doctor Park Jinyoung, star of Seoul Medical Centre's paediatric department, is used to being treated by nothing less than starry-eyed adoration and respect. So, its no surprise that when Im Jaebum, a surgeon with maddeningly pretty twin moles, kicks him out of "his" operating room, Jinyoung gets a little mad.

Okay, maybe more than a little mad. But it's all Im Jaebum's fault anyway.

Review: DOCTOR!AU. CUTE CUTE CUTE CUTE ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

* M - Taint Me by Got7hearts

Summary: Jinyoung is seventeen when he falls in love with Jaebum, who is eight years older than him.

Review: Jaebum with piercing. That's it. ♡♡

*M - This Christmas (I'll give you my heart) by schoetheisrealaf

Summary: Jaebum and Jinyoung have a fight at the supermarket in the morning. Jaebum and Jinyoung find out they're arranged to be married in the evening. Jaebum and Jinyoung fall in love, but only in time.

Shouting match over the last Christmas goose at the grocery store AU

Review: This is super cute. Best while listening to Confession. :'3

* M - Smoke and Mirrors by hakkais_shadow

Summary: This was not the birthday present that Im Jaebum was expecting...

Review: Mafia au and hot af smut... ♡♡

* M - I Don't Fucking Care (At All) by wonwoozi

Summary: “Your boyfriend’s hot when he plays.” Jackson mumbles to him as he slips an arm behind Jinyoung, hand finding purchase on the edge of the wooden bartop, his fingers gripping the ribbed edge.

“He’s not my boyfriend.” Jinyoung replies instinctively and gives Jackson a routine jab to the ribs. “And that’s my line, by the way.” He adds as his eyes trail over to Mark, sat behind the drumkit with his face trained into a concentrated smirk, smashing every beat perfectly, hair positively dripping with sweat.

“Not my boyfriend either.”

* M - keep me warm by subsequence

Summary: The problem is that Jaebum...isn't a cat. At least, not entirely. God, sometimes Jinyoung wishes it were that easy, wishes he could just leave out a bowl of food and water and maybe get his laptop keyboard used as a napping spot when he was supposed to be working and have a simple owner-pet relationship.Instead, Jinyoung has a romantic entanglement bordering on codependency and the worst case of blue balls he’s ever had.And Mark had said that getting a cat hybrid would be good for his blood pressure. What a joke.

Review: Another amazing work from subsequence. Every time I read the part where Jaebum swats at Jinyoung’s dick, I just can't stop laughing. :’DD♡♡♡♡

*M - Human Nature by cutiepiemarkeu

Summary: Jaebum accidentally summons an incubus and his boyfriend Jinyoung walks in on the two of them almost getting their freak on. Arguments ensue and JJProject are stuck with an incubus they can’t get rid of - but how do they deal with his attractiveness and the overwhelming urge to have sex with him?

Review: This is a 3-some featuring Mark. But the smut is so good, honestly. Really worth the read. ♡♡♡♡♡

Mark / Jackson

* The Prince Who Never Laughed by seitsemannen

Summary: Once upon a time, in a kingdom far, far away, lived a beautiful and kind prince named Mark, who after his mother's loss never laughed again. That was until he met the brightly smiling apprentice of a glassblower, Jackson Wang.

Review: Such a great and quality fic! Honestly, this was such a good read I can only recommend it! ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

* Twist by KingJackson

Summary: Mark knows Jinyoung. Jinyoung knows Jackson. Jackson hooks up with Jinyoung who also hooks up with Mark. Mark goes to hook up with Jinyoung and ends up also sleeping with Jackson. Jackson sometimes hooks up with Jaebum, but that isn’t important right now.

And they say romance is dead.

Review: All right so this fic is one hell of a mess, but a mess sent straight from heaven! The main pairing is Markson and Markjin (it's complicated) but there's end game Markson and JJP, plus Jackson is an angel sent from heaven in this one! Don't let the pairing discourage from reading this gem! ♡

* Private Show by Got7hearts

Summary: Mark likes to put on a show and Jackson loves to watch until he's been caught.

Review: A+ smut.

* M - lapis lazuli by gotchick

Summary: in which mark is a businessman and jackson is a fencer.

Review: great fic with rich kinda arrogant but kinda insecure mark plus lots of smut!

* M - Playhouse by seitsemannen

Summary: All sorts of rumours surround the handsome Wang heir and the good-looking servants of his household, but no one seemed to know for sure, as no matter the price, the members were not willing to give the secrets of their Master up.

Mark doesn't care for celebrities or rumours, except the one that says the Wang household pays several times more than the usual servant's salary, so when there's a job opening at the House, he goes for it. In the days and weeks spent at the House, Mark gets to know the members and finds out what of the ludicrous rumours were true and what weren’t. What he did not know to expect, however, is how good friends he would become with the other members of the House, and what’s worse, that he would fall in love with Jackson Wang.

Review: THE BEST. Multiple pairing but mostly Markson. Still ongoing but sooooo worth the read. also, long af. ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

* never felt clean, your timing was perfect by jflawless

Summary: i. jackson is five years old when he’s convinced he’s discovered the secret to love. it’s not much of a secret, he thinks, watching his parents exchange blatant “i love you”s only to quietly prove it later in subtle actions.

you like someone. you’re nice to them. they like you too. it’s the simplest thing he’ll ever do, he thinks, falling in love. a lot easier than tying his shoes or adding double digits or reading without his mom there to pronounce the really long words.

Jaebum / Jackson

* Just Smile Again by riots

Summary: Jackson's been lowkey nursing this crush for years, but he never meant for Jaebum to ever find out. Mark and Jinyoung have other ideas. Also, they're terrible friends.

* Face by jibootyjimin

Summary: @defsoul has started following @jiaerwang

(or an Instagram au in which famous Chinese rapper Jackson Wang acts like a complete fanboy over idol singer Im Jaebum)

Review: ♡♡

*Secret Little Rendezvous by seikou

Summary: "It's all fun and games until your favorite idol notices you."

(or: Im Jaebum is an Idol and Jackson Wang is a Fanboy.)

Review: ♡♡

* Fluffy Tales by wildandsexy

Summary: Jackson Wang’s Definitive List of Things Im Jaebum, Roommate, Cat Hybrid and Grump Extraordinaire Does and Does Not Like:

DOES LIKE: • Hoodies • The one table on the library’s second floor by the big window (direct sunlight all morning) (it’s basically heaven on Earth) • Nap time (usually at 11am) (and 12pm) (and 1pm) (and 2pm) (and 3pm)…

DOES NOT LIKE: • Waking up • Being awake in general • Not being asleep • Jackson Wang

Jackson Wang's new roommate doesn't even hate him. He 'nothings' him. And that's just something that Jackson can't live with.

Review: SO GOOD SO CUTE JAEBOM IS ADORABLE BUT GRUMPY AND JACKSON IS TRYING HIS BEST ♡♡♡♡♡♡

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litlifelover · 7 years

Text

Dress Code

First of all: @xerxia31 made me write this, so this is all because of her.

(btw: Thanks for the edits, lovely. I would trust no one else with this than you. *hug* )

Ever since she planted that small little seed in the back of my mind I couldn't concentrate on anything else than Tuscany-Smut, as she named it so excellently. So, this is what you get: Tuscany-Smut.

I'm pretty nervous, it's the first time I tried writing smut, so please let me know what you think.

WARNING: This is Rated a strong M, boardering E, for sexual content.

If you don't like that, you should probably skip this one.

For everyone else: I hope you enjoy! Would love to hear from you! :)

Read on AO3

Katniss assumes they are celebrating Prof. Harold von Günderbottom's 200th birthday this evening. When she looks at him she expects him to combust into dust any second; the wrinkles on his face are countless, and his hands are littered with liver spots. Most likely the Professor already had been old when Roosevelt first became President.

She grabs a flute of champagne from a passing waiter and takes a sip, before she concentrates on the conversation with Zahara again. Katniss first met her when Peeta invited her to join him for drinks with some of his colleagues and their spouses, shortly after they started dating. The two women clicked instantly.

"And you know what that asswipe did?" The woman pauses for dramatic effect. "He smirked, winked and then walked away. I mean …"

"You mean, you totally enjoyed it. You can't fool anyone." Katniss laughs out loud when Zahara gives her the stink-eye. It's an open secret that she and Thresh, another of her and Peeta's colleagues, have an ongoing war of wits. And really intense chemistry.

"You're one to talk," Zahara deadpans. "That dress is no coincidence. I'm surprised you even made it to this boring party. Has Peeta lost all his moves?"

Katniss blushes slightly and looks down at herself. A small smile graces her lips remembering the last time she wore this dress. This time she silently thanks Madge for persuading her to buy it. "Actually, I haven't seen him since this morning."

And what a morning it had been. After joining him in her shower, she made him late for his first lecture. She apologized via text after he rushed out the front door, which he answered with 'Totally worth it' and a winky face. Which in return made her decide on tonight's choice of wear.

"Well," Zahara startles her out of her thoughts, "when he sees you he'll totally have his way with you in the next coat clos-"

Before the woman gets the chance to finish her comment, Katniss interrupts her by grabbing von Günderbottom's hand, who'd somehow approached them unnoticed. "Good evening, Professor! Happy birthday!"

Zahara, who managed to slip behind the old man, takes a tentative step backwards. Katniss' eyebrows raise slightly, indicating to her friend that she doesn't dare flee from the conversation. Which promptly gets ignored when the woman just shrugs and takes another step back. Then she turns and is on her merry way.

And Katniss can even understand her. Once in the clutches of Professor von Günderbottom, it's nearly impossible to escape. Because he likes to talk. A lot. And very slowly. And about the most boring stuff. Like watching the grass grow boring.

"Thank you, Miss Everdeen. It's nice of you to make time for this hullabaloo," he slowly searches the space beside her. "Where's Professor Mellark tonight?"

She still shivers every time someone calls Peeta "Professor Mellark". The two words make her toes curl and her skin break out in goosebumps.

Right now she just wishes she actually knew where he is and could make the excuse that she needs to join him, only to flee this conversation. But Peeta and she agreed on meeting here, for he had a late lecture and she had a meeting with Vanity Fair's chief editor.

Therefore, Katniss - heavy hearted but honest - is just about to answer that she doesn’t know, when she feels a familiar hand brush over the small of her back.

"I'm right here, Professor," Peeta's voice joins them. Although normally Katniss can make out his tread from across the room, with so many people present it's hard to hear your own thoughts. It's not often he gets to sneak up on her.

"Hello, love," he greets her then, and leans in for a short peck.

And Katniss wouldn't have thought much about his sudden appearance, nor his short but sweet greeting, when suddenly she feels the hand at her back slowly slipping down to her ass. At the last moment Katniss holds back a surprised gasp. Thankfully they’re standing with their backs to a wall.

Von Günderbottom - obvious to the scene - starts talking about an article he read about new technologies in … Katniss doesn't hear the rest, biting the inside of her cheek to keep any noises to herself, while her hand tightly clutches the back of Peeta's button-down. Her boyfriend, however, seems to follow every word his colleague is saying, nodding from time to time, and even commenting occasionally.

By now his hand has slipped even further down, and the tips of his fingers brush softly over the skin where her dress ends. A wave of lust rushes through her. Only the hem of her dress stops him of finding out that underwear never had been an option. Or how wet he can make her with the simplest of touches.

It feels like an eternity has passed when finally the old man's TA steps up to them and tells him that Prof. Whoever from the University of Wherever just arrived and wants to whatever. Katniss doesn't care as long as she gets out of this conversation.

The second von Günderbottom has excused himself, Peeta's hand stops its ministrations and wraps around her waist instead. He leans down, his lips nearly brushing the shell of her ear.

"You and I," he murmurs, and for the first time Katniss can make out a slight growl in his voice. "We need to have a talk. Right now."

Katniss can't even respond. Peeta quickly leads her through the crowd, nodding at a colleague here, greeting another there, exchanging a quick joke with the next. Before she knows it they are in the hallway, and a second later she's pushed into an empty office.

The click of the lock is still echoing when she's in Peeta's arms and he’s kissing her senseless. Katniss is happy to comply, one of her hands grabbing his hair and the other his ass.

They stumble backwards until the back of her legs hit a desk. A second later, she's lifted up, holding onto his shoulders the only thing keeping her from tumbling down again. By instinct she spreads her legs as far as her dress allows it, and Peeta doesn't hesitate and steps in between them.

"That dress," he murmurs at her lips in between kisses. "You're killing me, baby."

"I wear it just for you," she whispers back, followed by a deep moan when his eagerness gets the better of him and his hands push the strapless top down over her breasts.

"Fuck," Peeta growls, his eyes a navy blue. "No bra."

A second later, Katniss feels his mouth around her nipple; sucking, and biting, and licking. Her head falls back with a sigh. One leg wraps around his waist, desperately trying to get him closer, closer, closer.

"This dress doesn't-" a loud yelp escapes her as his mouth switches from one breast to the other, his hands joining its caresses. Katniss swallows a cry, before she continues in a hoarse tone, "It doesn't allow a bra … or panties."

Another 'Fuck' slips from his lips. The next thing she knows she's back on her feet and turned around. She feels his breath against the skin of her back; his lips brushing along her spine, his hands holding on to her hips.

Katniss leans forward and braces herself against the desk, the movement allowing their hips to align. She feels his hardness press against her ass. His moan vibrates against her neck, makes her clit pulse.

"I wanted to have you ever since I first saw you in this dress," Peeta whispers into the skin of her throat.

Katniss grabs one of his hands and guides it back to her breast, a breathy laugh falls from her. "I arrived half an hour ago."

"No." Slightly shaking his head Peeta ignores her whine when his hand leaves her breast yet again and travels down to the hem of her skirt. "I'm not speaking of tonight, love."

And suddenly she knows what he's talking about: Prim's rehearsal dinner. The night they met.

If she was wet before, now she's soaking.

The sound that leaves Katniss is a combination of awe, and love, and pure sexual need, all wrapped up in one. She swiftly turns around in his arms. It's her turn to ignore his protests; she presses their lips together, the kiss nearly bruising in its urgency. Deft fingers work at his belt buckle, next on the button and finally lowering the zipper of the dress pants. A second later, they wrap around his shaft. Squeezing him the way she’s learned he loves. Hours upon hours spent between the sheets has made them experts about each other. His hands grab the hem of her dress; yank it up at the same time Katniss pushes his pants and boxer briefs out of the way.

He growls into her mouth, it resonates all through her body. Drunk on their lust they once again stumble back against the desk. Peeta bites down on her lower lip, slips his fingers through her folds once. His thumb over her clit. For an answer Katniss brushes her thumb over the tip of his cock.

"It's time we finish this talk," Peeta smirks. This time her dress doesn't restrict them when she spreads her legs and he steps between them. Her hand guides him to her entrance and then, with a quick thrust and a gasp, he's finally buried inside her. He stills for a moment, letting her adjust. With one hand, Katniss grabs his shoulder, curls her fingers into the fabric of his button down. Braces the other on the desk behind her, her legs wrapping around his hips.

"I love how we communicate," Katniss laughs. It turns into a moan when he starts to move. Fast, hard thrusts; she has to bite her lip to keep from screaming in passion every time their hips slap together.

There's nothing slow or gentle about this. This is raw need, and lust, and fucking. The time to make love is later, when they are home. Not on some desk one room over from a colleague’s birthday gathering.

"I love how you feel around me," Peeta presses out through tight lips, against her chest. He holds onto her hips while driving into her. Watches himself disappear in her depths over and over again.

Katniss loosens her grip on his shoulder and slips her hand between them. As soon as Peeta sees that, he pushes her hand out of the way again. Instead, he presses his own thumb to her clit, starts to rub it in quick, circular motions; matching the movements of his hand and hips.

She's so close, and from the way her breath hitches, how her head tips back and she squeezes her eyes shut, she can tell he knows that too.

"Fuck, yes! Peeta!"

The words leave her in a breathless whisper. He tightens his grip on her hip when she says his name, it makes her whole body tingle.

Her head snaps up. Their eyes connect, burning with a fiery passion. Her legs tighten around his hips; her walls around his cock. His thrusts become erratic.

"Make me come," she demands softly, brushing her fingers over his cheek. Peeta turns his head slightly, presses a kiss to her palm, never breaking their stare. Katniss slips her hand around to his neck and pulls his face towards hers. Connects their lips. They are too far gone to call it a kiss.

Two, three, four thrusts later and they are no longer able to hold back. Muffling their groans into each others mouth, Katniss squeezes his cock one last time before coming with a silent gasp, triggering his release with hers.

It takes a couple moments for them to regain their composure; for their heavy breathing to calm. Her legs slip away from around his waist. He takes a step back and helps her down from the desk. Gives her half a smirk and a wink, which she answers with a sweet kiss to the corner of his lips. They adjust their clothes in record time, help each other to smooth down their ruffled hair. His button-down is unsalvageable, though; her fingers left creases they can't explain away. They don't care.

Minutes later, they're back with his colleagues, her hand encased in his, and they rejoin conversation as if they'd never left. Katniss catches Zahara smirking at her, and instead of blushing as usual she winks once and tightens her grip on Peeta's hand.

It's not long before he gets called away again. But before he steps away to play referee between two of his colleagues, he leans down to whisper in her ear.

"You're beautiful, and sexy, and I'm very much in love with you. And I can't wait to peel you out of this dress the moment we get back to my apartment. Give me half an hour and we're out of here."

Another laugh escapes her. With a small peck to his lips she shoos him away. Peeta's eyes twinkle with mischievousness, and then he's gone.

She turns her attention back to Zahara, who grins slyly.

Half an hour filled with questions and suggestive remarks from her friend? With such a prospect to look forward to, Katniss decides, she can more than live with it.

#LitLifeLovers stories #everlark #smut #Tuscany-verse #katniss everdeen #Peeta Mellark #University Professor!Peeta #photographer!katniss

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tap-dat-agent · 7 years

Text

Who Knew? 3/? (Merlahad)

Part 1 // Part 2

Eggsy and Harry walked a little way’s behind Whiskey, on their way to the conference room, the former sidling up to the latter in an attempt to get him to talk.

“What the shit was that?” Eggsy hissed in Harry’s ear.

“Beg pardon?” Harry strode along, his hands pocketed, his voice carrying sharply despite whispering lower than Eggsy.

“When you said he needed you, I don’t know, I sorta thought you meant he needed a fu”—

“You truly believe now is the appropriate time to have this conversation?” Harry questioned, his voice lethally low. “If you wait for the opportune moment, I might once more divulge the personal details of my life in private. You can spy on me, again.”

“Harry, I didn’t”—

Harry’s long legs carried the older man a considerable distance ahead of Eggsy.

“Fuck.”

Whiskey pulled the double doors of the conference room open to reveal Champagne, in all his surly glory, standing at the head of a long meeting table with a whisky tumbler in hand and a settled smile on his face.

“Welcome back, gentlemen.”

“Champagne,” Harry greeted, and Eggsy offered him a respectful nod from Harry’s side. Eggsy looked around the room, acknowledging the congregation of invisible Statesman agents he could not see but knew were assembled around the table, and settled on a rather put-off-looking Tequila.

Eggsy touched the side of his eyeglasses to adjust the view settings for Statesman clearance-level access, as per the perks of their union, revealing the holographic bodies of the other Statesman agents and a still rather pissed-looking Tequila.

Whiskey settled into the last remaining seat, opposite Tequila, smirking.

“Enjoy your reunion?” Champagne asked.

“Our colleague will live,” Harry responded, dryly.

“Fuck yeah, he will,” Eggsy seconded, “no better than that.”

“Good to hear it,” Champagne raised his glass, “because the shit’s about to hit the fan.” Champagne downed his glass and set the tumbler down on the table with a hard ‘thud’. “I’ve got some bad news.”

Well, fuck.

The void left by Poppy’s demise had given rise to a power struggle within the inner workings of the largest criminal distributor of narcotics worldwide. The Golden Circle, unfortunately, did not begin and end with the cheerfully-crazed redheaded drug peddler with a hard-on for 50s Nostalgia and Elton fucking John. Behind people like Poppy were financial investors, special interest parties, and more people like Poppy.

These people were doing whatever it took to secure their rank at the top.

“We got ourselves a good ol’ fashion process of elimination taking place,” Champagne smiled, sadistically, “at the top of the Golden Circle. Of the few in our crosshairs, high-level targets all head of their respective regional operations,” an assortment of candid shots projected above the center of the table, ten faces, all captioned with a name Eggsy couldn’t give two shits to read, “only five remain on the docket.”

Five of the ten photos disappeared into nothingness.

“Our ongoing intel indicates they’re taking one another out to consolidate the organization. In the spirit of giving credit where credit’s due, Statesman are responsible for only two of the five hits. They really don’t want another megalomaniac like Poppy calling the shots and that makes our job a helluva lot harder.”

“Am I missing something?” Eggsy asked, with two fingers raised in the air, gaining everyone’s attention. “It’s sounds like they’re killing each other, taking out the competition, so how is that bad for us?”

“You only need one king, Eggsy,” Harry voiced, side-eyeing Eggsy but in an indulging way. “A concentration of power. A single leader can be more effective than a group of independent bodies.”

“Exactly.” Champagne pointed a finger in Harry’s direction.

“You’d think someone from a people that’s done colonized the whole damn world would’ve figured that out,” Tequila snapped in his own sullen, instigating way.

“What, like, you Americans are any better?” Eggsy clapped back.

“We beat your asses, didn’t we?”

“That’s why you strut around wearing a bowler hat like an ironic British fashion model—fuck out of here.”

“Hey, it’s a derby, asshole.”

“Dickhead.”

“Eggsy.”

“Tequila.” Champagne and Harry eyed their respective charges warningly, before Champagne continued. “We’re all on the same side, gentlemen. Whiskey.”

“Sir,” Whiskey nodded, pulling up her clipboard.

“Now, if we’re through with name-calling, I’d like to direct everyone’s attention to the dossiers Whiskey’s uploading into your eye-wear. We’ve got five targets on the board, we outnumber them, so we’re going after them before the jig is up. The details are specific to your target in their region. Kingsman, before your eyes is one target running operations out of Berlin. I highly encourage teamwork between Kingsman and their Statesman liaisons, Tequila and Whiskey.”

Eggsy and Tequila shared a nasty look with each other.

“Everyone else, double-up. Let’s hunt these vermin down while the gettin’s good. Dismissed.”

The holographic meeting of Statesman agents dispersed in flickers. Whiskey and Tequila approached Harry and Eggsy as Champagne worked towards securing himself another drink. Eggsy watched it all through the glowing transparency of one Ernest Karloff, a high-ranking operative of the Golden Circle who had a thing for fancy shades and bad combovers.

“Ernest Karloff,” Whiskey said, confirming who the three men saw in their respective eyewear. “We first picked him up on our radar from Statesman’s London front when some of his crew tried to move what was left of Poppy’s contaminated product in their region. He’s a smart man but impulsive and paranoid, hiding in one of his nightclubs, so this shouldn’t be too difficult for us.”

“I think it hardly requires all four of us,” voiced Harry, and Eggsy could tell he was low-key insulted by the idea. “I’m certain Eggsy and I could handle this on our own.”

“Actually…” Whiskey and Tequila shared a look. “All considering, we thought you guys might like to stay behind, for a while longer, help speed along Merlin’s recovery process.”

“Great,” Eggsy breathed, grateful for the opportunity to spend more time working his favorite Scotsman back into a healthy riled up state. “We”—

“Will join you on the mission,” Harry stated firmly, and that was that. Again, Eggsy didn’t push. He didn’t want to push, not now, not when the spy shit was beginning to make sense to him again. Harry was alive, Merlin was a live, and now they had a mission worth the fate of the world. Eggsy counted his fucking blessings and fell into step.

“It’s good to hear your boy’s making a comeback,” Tequila said, the first toothy grin Eggsy had seen in a long while plastered on his face. He extended his hand to Harry. “It’s always nice to see the good one’s live.”

Harry took his hand and shook on it.

Eggsy rolled his eyes.

“Eggsy and I should be visiting him one last time, before we depart, if you’d care to join us?”

“He ain’t going nowhere,” Tequila replied, looking Eggsy’s way. “I’ma go gear up the plane and prepare for take-off.”

“Fair enough.” Harry turned to Whiskey. “Whiskey, care to join us?”

“Next time,” Whiskey answered, strangely reluctant to turn down Harry’s offer. Whiskey didn’t do much to disguise her intentions, Eggsy realized, which was equal parts refreshing and frustrating. It was as if Eggsy could always sense her holding something back, it was mindboggling. “I’ll help Tequila prepare the plane. Enjoy your visit.”

“See ya, Champ.”

“Champ.”

Champagne waved them off with his lips latched onto another glass of whisky.

“Well,” Harry turned to Eggsy. “Shall we?”

Eggsy spent most of the walk back staring at the back of Harry’s head. How did the man’s brain work, he wondered? He’d been a certifiable nutter, some weeks ago, but now Eggsy wouldn’t go all out and say no permanent damage had been done just yet.

“Are you mental?”

“As of my last medical evaluation, no.”

Eggsy put in the effort to walk in lockstep with Harry’s broader stride.

“They letting us spend time with Merlin and you can’t wait to get away. Why?”

“Because time is of the essence, Eggsy. We’ve got a mess in need of cleaning and I’ll be damned if there’s innocent blood on our hands, if I can help it.”

“Hey.” Eggsy whipped Harry around by the sleeve of his immaculate suit. “You walk too fucking fast.”

“Or maybe you just walk too slow.”

“No, I’m not the height of a fucking tower like some people.”

“No, you’re more akin to a hobbit.”

“What’s your deal, Harry?” Eggsy asked, attempting to square off with his taller colleague. “Do you love him?”

“What?”

“Merlin,” Eggsy clarified, and the look of inescapable alarm on Harry’s face was so very gratifying… “Do you love him?”

“Yes.”

“Fan-fucking-tastic,” Eggsy exclaimed, smiling encouragingly, “then spend some fucking time on him.”

Harry seemed to consider this, which is all Eggsy could ask for, since the older man rarely took any of his advice outside of work-related issues. He looked him up and down, his one eye searching, and managed what Eggsy had dubbed Harry’s signature frown of contentment.

“I don’t remember you being so astute on the subject of relationships.”

“What can I say?” Eggsy shrugged, smirking. “Marriage’s tossing me crash courses left and right. You’d be proud of my ability to adapt under pressure.”

“Always,” Harry said, smiling, “and selfishly relieved. Kingsman has never gone out of its way to discourage personal relations among colleagues, though, it is frowned upon.” Harry’s eye wandered the walls of the white-on-white corridor. “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t happily surprised by how accepting you are of this.”

“Why, ‘cause you’re a poofter?” Eggsy said, gaining Harry’s hawk-like stare, but the older man quickly adopted a small smile in the face of Eggsy’s good-natured tease. “Contrary to popular belief, not all blokes from Camden are raging homophobic dickheads. My mates would give you more shit for looking like a snobby wanker.”

“I suppose I could live with that.”

Harry and Eggsy proceeded their trek from the conference room, past the control room, to back at the infirmary ward of the Statesman’s secret, underground facilities.

“Merlin’s only just come about and we have to jet,” Eggsy complained, shaking his head. “How sucky is that?”

“I’m more concerned with how Merlin will react when we tell him he can’t come with us,” Harry murmured, opening the door to Merlin’s room.

“Hey!” Merlin exclaimed, a drumstick in hand, smiling at Eggsy and Harry. He sat in the upright position, inclined by the mechanism of his hospital bed. “You’re back.”

“What the bloody hell is this?” Harry asked, his eye looking over the hospital bed table of fried chicken pieces, scones, and mash with loosely veiled admonishment.

“I said I was peckish,” Merlin supplied, munching down.

“For food,” Harry clarified, “not this rubbish.”

“Snob.”

“Pleb.”

“We’re in Kentucky, I love Kentucky Fried Chicken, problem solved.”

“Under any other circumstance, I’d say indulge at your own risk, but miraculously surviving a detonated land mine often changes one’s priorities.”

“Is that so?” Merlin stopped eating, staring Harry dead on, before looking to Eggsy. “Eggsy, care for some?”

“Sure.” Eggsy broke from Harry’s side to join Merlin, picking up another drumstick. “If only to stop you from eating all this, you stupid sod. Harry’s right—you can’t be eating this crap. You just got blown up.”

Merlin took another defiant bite of his chicken leg.

“I’ll have to have a talk with Statesman staff, before we depart,” Harry sighed, readjusting his glasses. “You shouldn’t even be sitting up, by all accounts.”

“I disagree,” Merlin said, swallowing. “I feel fine, better than fine, I feel great. Where are we going?”

“You’re not going anywhere, remember?” Harry made perfectly clear. “Eggsy and I are going on a mission.”

“Huh.” Merlin seemed to be thinking something over, and Eggsy felt a bit dickish knowing they had no choice but to leave him behind. Merlin looked forward to a mission more so than most of them, as even Eggsy sensed the man getting stir crazy with having to always hold up in a control room. That unspoken desire to get back in the field had been partially responsible for Merlin accompanying Harry and Eggsy to Poppyland. Eggsy frowned, realizing it was a desire for field work that had landed Merlin in a hospital bed absent two legs. “Where to?”

“Right, yeah, so you can track down our whereabouts and join us?” Eggsy frowned.

“…The thought crossed my mind,” Merlin admitted, again grinning, the stubble growth on his face making him up like a charming grifter. Maybe they weren’t giving the man enough credit, Eggsy thought. Maybe, just maybe, Merlin was up to snuff and ready to partake in the demands of active duty. Eggsy couldn’t believe he was even entertaining this thought, having just seen the man awaken less than an hour ago, but the small winces and slow movements of his pained condition now appeared nonexistent.

Eggsy’d spent enough time in and out of emergency before Kingsman to know what a normal recovery time looked like and, in Merlin, he saw none of that. Eggsy looked Merlin once over, wondering whether whoever helped him cheat death not only saved his life but fashioned him with more than just a set of prosthetic legs.

“What the hell did they do to you?” Harry uttered, taking the words right out of Eggsy’s mouth.

Merlin looked up at Eggsy and Harry both, frowning. “What?”

An alarm went off, a small, high-pitched squeal that hit Eggsy and Harry’s ears in annoying as fuck fashion. It was coming from their glasses, accompanied by a flashing red message reading ALERT in all caps.

“Looks like we got ourselves an intruder abroad, gentlemen,” Tequila’s voice rang out from the room’s built-in P.A. system. “Sending visual now.”

The perimeter of his glasses continued to flash a glowing, transparent red, but a new window view expanded before Eggsy’s vision. It was of the tailor shop front’s interior, closed down for the evening, except there was indeed a figure moving about the otherwise empty establishment. A woman with a petite frame, blondish hair, and an unassuming appearance but a dangerous skillset searched the rooms of the tailor shop as if on a mission.

“Who’s this pretty little thing, I wonder?”

Eggsy stared longingly into his glasses, in a state of disbelief. “Roxy?”

#merlahad #kingsman #harry hart #merlin #eggsy unwin #statesman

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tashmitchviscom · 5 years

Text

AskReddit - Cruise Ship employee stories

“If I can fart in the passenger cabins, I do”

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“I worked a single 5-month contract as a musician about 10 years ago. I’m sure every company is different but here’s a few things that might be of interest:

There were a handful of crew-only stairwells that were designated smoking spots. They were peppered across the ship and almost constantly occupied by a handful of staff. The butt disposal method was a nasty ass bucket of water that some poor soul from housekeeping probably had to empty periodically.

Speaking of cigarettes, they were ridiculously cheap for us: duty free, and without the markup the passengers would buy them at. It was $2 a pack when I was working, regardless of brand. Alcohol was similarly inexpensive.

Different employees get vastly different treatment and privileges; that’s not that crazy sounding, but because everyone also lives on the ship, it gets a little weird. You have officers, staff, and crew. Crew are the lowest level employees; they sleep four to a room, and can only eat in the crew mess (which had the lowest quality food, but also really good Indian and Filipino food sometimes). Waiters, cooks, housekeepers, stage hands, and the people actually making the ship operate are all crew. Staff would sleep two to a room, and got their own nicer mess hall (although we could also eat in the crew mess). Musicians, dancers, photographers, spa workers, and some managers were staff. Officers got their own restaurant-style mess that others could only eat at by invitation, and all got their own studio apartment-style cabins. Management were all officers, as well as the literal ship’s officers, like the captain.”

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“Very common occurrence actually (especially considering the average age of people who go on cruses) there is a morgue on board every ship and they can actually get quite full during long voyages”

In reply to above ^ “Can confirm, we’ve had 10-15 people die on our ship. Due to the large amount of elderly folks that travel on cruise ships it's fairly common to have people die on board (natural causes, heart attacks, etc). As a result, just about every cruise ship has some sort of morgue that acts as a temporary hold for the deceased.”

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“I did this (being a cruise ship employee) for almost 5 years ending about 4 years ago. Here are the cliff notes.

Yes alot of people are hooking up. People that are married with kids at home are gay or have a wife/husband they married in another country on board. One of my contracts there was a outbreak of chlmydia. My now wife and I knew we were faithful because of neither of us caught it. Also it's common for a person to sign off and the SO be sleeping with someone else that night (or trying to at least)

yes people die. Yes some are due to old age but trageties do happen as well such as people going overboard. During my time on ships the non "old age type" deaths were two suicides and one twenty something year old who went overboard that we never found. Back to the old age deaths. We would bet on the really long cruises (due to average client age) how many emergency doctor calls over the PA system there would be.

yes there are cruise ship accidents. Another cruise liner hit our ship while docking in Puerto Vallarta Mexico. Same ship the following weekend with a new captain slammed into the pier shattering the pier. Side note this same ship was one stranded at sea a few years ago due to engine fires.

there are morgues and there are jails. The joke is that when the morgue fills up they start giving ice cream out to the crew. Unfortunately I've seen the jails used for people other than fighting or unruly drunks.

rescued refugees in the carribbean and the Mediterranean several times. It puts the world into perspective at times.

contracts depend on your position but can vary from 10 weeks to 9 months.

it's a melting pot of cultures living in a tiny bubble.

you see cool places, you don't sleep slot but you sure drink a lot. Yes the crew parties can be wild.”

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“As a Former Cruise ship employee of A ships entertainment division, these are my tidbits

-A lot of employees have “ship wives/husbands” even those with marriages on land. My manager had a ship wife who he shared a cabin with while he saw his wife and 4 kids every two weeks.

-Cruise ships are actually crazy clean. There’s different levels of cleanliness based on the amount of total sick guests on board. I’ve been pulled off shifts before to help sanitise the theatre under extreme conditions.

Sleeping or even going into guest cabins (that you’re not registered with) is a fireable offense. Security literally watches your every move if you’re allowed in guest areas

Ships, at least mine, do what ever they want in international waters. Example: They incinerate literally anything including batteries, theatrical moving lights, a literal pallet of brochures due to ONE typo. Waste, human or otherwise is sent into the ocean so long as it’s “organic”, sometimes treated.

As technical sailors, we all have emergency roles. We were learning the protocols behind suspicions package discovery one morning and all was well... until I learned what crew did in this case. We literally search for this package that more than likely would be a bomb. In my work area, this involves walking each row of a 1500 seat theatre and hoping not to step on this object and blow up.

In Emergencey situations, most guests get life boats, crew gets life rafts. Life rafts hold ~16, boats ~120 with mandatory sea sickness pills administered upon boarding. They don’t always work in high seas and the thing is, you’re literally sitting in other passengers butts and crotches the way you’re crammed s in there. If I’m ever a passenger, I’d opt for the raft.Large scale sympathetic puking is not my thing.”

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“The crew have their own bar. They are technically never allowed to have a BAC over 0.02, even off duty, so getting drunk can get you fired and kicked off the ship in whatever port you're in.

Guest areas and crew areas can be differentiated in that passenger areas have carpeting.

Every crew member has a safety role in case of emergency.

Shit is ridiculously clean, but there can still be a "Code Brown" where a virus breaks out.

Getting caught fucking a passenger (or even being in a passenger area without a good reason) will likely get you fired.

It's possible your crew member works triple shifts 6-7 days a week.”

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“ I've been working on ships for about 3 years. For the most part it's operationally not a whole lot different from a large hotel, except that it floats from country to country and the staff never leave for months at a time. A few notable things;

We drink the same drinks as you for a lot cheaper, and we drink a lot of them.

We are notified of who high profile guests as well as problem passengers each cruise so that we know who to keep and eye out for most.

If you ever hear ambiguous coded messages over the PA system, it means something has gone wrong and somebody below decks is scrambling to fix it. One interesting thing I've found is that British cruise lines don't use coded announcements, they will just announce a medical or fire emergency plainly. I'm on an American line now and people always seem perplexed when I tell them there are lines that do that.

There's usually a "black market" of crew selling or trading their department's services. Room stewards will clean your cabin once a week before inspection day, photographers will trade photo prints for a haircut in the spa, stuff like that.”

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“I worked on a cruise ship for a few months in the engine room and have sailed on other commercial ships as well. If you have any specific questions then please feel free to ask and I'll see what I can recall.

I worked in the engine room so I don't have any juicy passenger interactions of my own. If you think that you don't have much space in your room then you should see the crew's quarters. The crew is packed in like corn on a cob. Take that single person room you have, double the size, but now 6 people are sleeping and living in there. Sanitation is a big issue and as a result the crew's rooms are regularly inspected.

The crew has so much sex. There was a place in the main crew area with free (shitty) condoms but the STD rate is still through the roof. Well over 50%. It honestly amazes me how much sex everyone has when everyone is also sharing rooms. But most employees will be on the ship 8 months out of the year and all that pent up tension will get released one way or another.

I'd advise not eating the sushi.

You would be amazed at what people will flush down the toilet. Pool noodles, t-shirts, shoes...pretty much anything that people don't want to pack with them when they leave. Cruise ships primarily use vacuum flush systems. These are very efficient but very sensitive. A tampon or condom can take out the toilets for everyone above and below your room. Then somebody from the engine department has to start braking open black water pipes or ripping open pumps to find where your blood stained cotton has managed to stop a whole lot more fluid flow. Toilet paper only in the toilets.

When the ship pulls in to port they usually hook up a water hose to fill up on potable water from the municipal supply. Once the ship is underway (and away from the nasty port waters) they then take water from the sea and distill it to keep the capacity up until they reach the next port. It's probably a lot cleaner than the water you have at home.

The ship also needs to fuel up (bunkering) and sometimes passengers are on board while that is going on. No open flames are allowed outside while bunkering is ongoing and this becomes a problem with passengers who need a smoke. To get around this they smoke in their rooms which sets off the smoke detectors. There is also a regulation that bunkering must immediately stop if a fire alarm goes off until the hazard of a fire has passed. So somebody from the crew has to go to your room and make sure it isn't on fire. Then they call down to the engine room to report it's a false alarm. Then we can start the pumps again. On average, bunkering is usually interrupted 3 or 4 times due to this and it's annoying as hell.

EDIT: A few more things. At least the ship I was on would have crew parties and events that made things a lot of fun. It really sucks for the people who have to work the customer parties because you know all your crew friends are having a blast.

Excessive fraternization or sex with passengers is against the rules. Simply entering a passenger's room without a reason is a firing offense.

Speaking of firing, it was not in our contract for the company to pay for your return flight if you get fired in an area where you are a citizen. So let's say you were hired on the U.S. West Coast by some big cruise company and you get a ship on the East Coast (some people want to change it up a bit if they get tired of the same route). If you get fired on your ship them the return trip is on you. I can't really give too much info without saying exactly which ship/company I was with but those return flights could cost $600 to $900. The local McDonald's had some ex-cruise ship workers saving up money to get home.

One more edit: Cruise ships are trying to become more environmentally friendly. There are whale zones where they go slower to give whales more time to get out of the way. We install scrubbers in the exhaust stack to help remove excess sulfur and carbon. Companies are now also working on reducing NOx emissions through advanced engine timing technology and stack gas treatment. Instead of using harmful chemicals to clean sewage waste we are now using UV and biological systems to break it down. Lube oils around the shaft are being replaced with biodegradable versions. Pretty soon ballast water will even begin to get treated. These are all new and upcoming improvements to try to reduce the environmental impact these ships have. But they are also 1,000 foot long floating cities which must provide food prep and storage, heating, A/C, lighting, water and sewage, recreational areas, and power for thousands of people while also moving them around on a floating piece of steel. There will be an environmental impact no matter what.

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“I used to do wet and dry dock maintenance. Used to find quite a lot of drugs left behind. Passengers thought they found a clever hiding space in the cabin but we would take every inspection hatch off every cabin’s bathroom. There used to be a customs guy in Miami we called Dirty Harry, we just handed it to him. Cool guy. No: we did not use it ourselves.”

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“Former steward here. Finish your fucking food quick so I can go on break. If you're lounging at your table while were clearing other tables, we all hate you.

Also, housekeeping is all about time. When you have 2 hour to clean 5-6 rooms, short cuts happen.”

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“One thing is for sure, passengers ask the dumbest questions. We hated walking in guest areas because we would get asked dumb questions. Passengers were SHOCKED that we lived on board, once I was so annoyed one day I responded that I was a mermaid and actually jumped back in the ocean after my shift. The strange part is the person that asked apparently believed me. Another common question is "excuse me, do these stairs go up?" -- umm duh. They also go down. I think people turn their thinking caps off when on vacation. Which I guess is normal? My all time favorite question is, as soon as they step foot on the cruise: WHERE DA FOOD AT?? Ha! Never got old! Oh the memories.”

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“I worked on cruise ships as an engineer for 3 years and it was some of the best fun I've had in my life

I worked 10 hours per day every day for 4 months but the social life was enough to keep you going. My first trip was largely uneventful however as I spent my time focussed on work as I wanted to make a good impression but in my last month of that contract I met a cool Italian guy who was an absolute player and he took me under his wing.

I was/am an officer and this brought the benefits of a large cabin with double bed and windows (windows are rare for crew as they mostly have internal cabins) I realise I could use this to my advantage and went from the shy 20 year old to an absolute whore. I'm not bad looking either so that helped me a bit.

The travelling was fantastic and I travelled the world. My favourite part being the very north of Norway where in the summer the sun didn't set and there was sunlight all day long.

Alcohol (including spirits with my company) was very cheap and you would often find your self buying drinks for an entire room of people for very little cost.

I could, as an officer, order room service and there were even some crew cooking in there cabins and selling it to other hungry crew members.

All in all it's a hard lifestyle to maintain and sleep is limited if you're social and want to go ashore at the same time but in my opinion, totally worth it.”

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“I worked on a major cruise line out of a port in Florida.

Crew bar has cheap drinks, but you're technically never supposed to be drunk. You can find most crew there usually always smoking cigarettes, drinking beers and getting a little too drunk. (Not much else to do when the ship is at sea). Most crew members have families back home and a lot have girlfriends on board as well. That is just apart of ship life.

Crew members are super hard working and work weeks are 70 hours a week without a single day off for 6-8 months at a time. Most crew members rely on tips for their wages. My position was salaried for $58/a day, I was an officer on board working in the guest services office. Came out to roughly $1400 a month after taxes. No one else is taxed besides Americans on board.

The best way to describe no days off is, waking up to your alarm and every single day feels like a Monday morning (for those that actually have normal work weeks).

My position shared a bedroom with bunk beds and really small bathrooms. You could shit, shave your legs, and brush your teeth all at the same time. Depending upon your position on board determined if you had guest area privileges. I was allowed in guest areas, but after spending all day with the guests that's the last thing I wanted to do. You're always on duty and your supervisors have 24 hour access to you at all times by just ringing your phone and waking you up in your cabin. Sleep was very limited, so every off hour was spent trying to catch up.

Wifi was $5 a day for 24 hour access to limited social media apps or $10 for 100 minutes unrestricted. I spent way too much money on the shitty wifi.

Overall the people you live and work with is what makes your experience on board. Some days are worse than others but you somehow manage to get through it.”

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#covl

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gerec · 8 years

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The Disappearance of Charles Xavier

Happy Belated Birthday to my darling @lachatblanche!!! Here is the (hopefully suitably creepy) ficlet that I promised you…I hope you like it :D

Pairings: Cherik, Charpocalypse Tags/warnings: Non powered, kidnapping, psychological thriller.

“—a five thousand dollar reward for any information on the whereabouts of Charles Francis Xavier, Professor of Genetics at Harvard University, who has been missing since June fifteenth. Chief of Police Moira MacTaggert has declined to comment on the ongoing investigation, though sources report that there have been no new leads—“

Charles Xavier disappears on a Thursday afternoon, sometime after leaving the university to return to his three storey home in a quiet Boston suburb, at the end of a picturesque cul-de-sac. They find his blue Volvo parked in the driveway of his house – where he lives with his partner of four years, Erik Lehnsherr – but no sign of Mr. Xavier; he left no note and no voice mail message, and none of his belongings are missing save for the clothes he wore that day and the items he carried in his laptop bag.

The police comb the house and surrounding neighborhood, along with Mr. Xavier’s office and find no evidence of foul play.

“There are no signs of forced entry into your home or into Mr. Xavier’s car. Are you sure he’s actually missing? Is there any chance that Mr. Xavier’s just taken a short trip and neglected to tell you?”

“Listen to me, alright? Something has definitely happened to Charles! He wouldn’t go anywhere or just disappear without calling me and Raven! No one has seen or heard from him since he left his office yesterday at two o’clock! Stop stalling and get your useless asses out there and find him!”

Mr. Lehnsherr rages at the incompetence of the local authorities, who then question whether Mr. Xavier could have left of his own volition, perhaps as a means to escape an abusive relationship? It’s an accusation that Mr. Lehnsherr vehemently denies, his claim of innocence supported wholeheartedly by Mr. Xavier’s adopted sister and sole family member, Ms. Raven Darkholme. Her testimony, in addition to Mr. Lehnsherr’s alibi during the time of Mr. Xavier’s disappearance (multiple witnesses attest to his presence at the engineering firm of Frost & Associates from the time of Mr. Xavier’s departure from the NRB to Ms. Darkholme’s inbound call at 8:30 that night), allows the police to remove Mr. Lehnsherr almost immediately off the list of ‘interested’ parties.

“Erik, do you know what’s going on with Charles? He didn’t show up at the restaurant and he hasn’t called.”

“Did you try him at the office? You know he forgets to charge his cell sometimes, loses track of time.”

“Of course I called! They said he left hours ago! And I’ve left like, ten messages on his cell! He’s not picking up the home line either. I’m going to kill him if he fell asleep on the couch.”

“I’m sure that’s all it is…I’m heading home in an hour, Raven; I’ll have him call you so he can grovel for standing you up.”

The investigation expands quickly and extensively to the rest of the neighborhood where Mr. Xavier and Mr. Lehnsherr reside, though no one remembers seeing Mr. Xavier’s return by car, nor do they recall any suspicious activity in and around the man’s home. Their closest neighbor – Mr. Set Khalid, a personal friend of Mr. Xavier and Mr. Lehnsherr – had been traveling out of town on business at the time, only returning to Boston when he heard of Mr. Xavier’s disappearance. He welcomes the officers into his home and upon reflection, offers the only viable lead to an investigation that had all but stalled from lack of information.

“Mr. Creed, you and your crew have been doing work in Mr. Khalid’s home, yes?”

“Yeah, we put in a skylight over the master bedroom. Re-did his ensuite bathroom with a whirlpool tub. Switched out his old hot water tank for a new one.”

“Did you or any of your crew access Mr. Khalid’s home on the afternoon of June 15? Did any of you see anything that might lead us to the whereabouts of the missing Charles Xavier?”

“Look I told you – we were finished on Wednesday. The fourteenth. Nobody – not me, not any of my guys were anywhere close to that neighborhood. We didn’t see nothing.”

“Is there anyone other than yourself who had a key to Mr. Khalid’s house? Someone who could have taken the opportunity to rob the place while he was away? Perhaps someone Mr. Xavier unknowingly interrupted when he came home…”

The lead brings the police no closer to solving the mystery of Xavier’s disappearance, after extensive interviews with the renovation firm clear all employees from possible involvement. Mr. Lehnsherr is increasingly at odds with the pace and lack of progress in the investigation, and has stormed more than once into Captain MacTaggert’s office unannounced, equal parts angry and fearful, demanding answers the department can’t provide. At Mr. Khalid’s suggestion, Ms. Darkholme and Mr. Lehnsherr decide to offer a monetary reward for any information on Mr. Xavier’s whereabouts, and it is agreed that Ms. Darkholme should be the one to make a plea on camera for the safe return of her brother Charles.

“Please, we just want to know he’s alright. If you have any information about my brother, anything at all, please contact us. We just…we just want him to come home.”

—

No one (credible) comes forward in the days and weeks that follow.

They find no witnesses and no further clues, and neither Mr. Lehnsherr nor Ms. Darkholme ever receive a note for ransom.

It’s as though Charles Xavier simply walked out of his office one day, and vanished into thin air.

He is loath to leave Erik on his own like this, radiating hopeless, helpless rage as the days and hours tick by with no news about Charles. There is nothing more he can do for his friend than to let him vent his anger; let him seethe with indignation at the sheer incompetence of the Boston police. The meals that he makes for Erik go largely untouched, and he has to remind him to eat and rest when he can, to keep up his strength for the search. He does not blame Erik for ignoring him, or raising his voice; after all, if he were in the man’s shoes he would be feeling incomparable loss and sorrow.

Erik doesn’t notice when he leaves, which is just as well really – there is nothing more they can do tonight except wait for the calls to start coming in. He wonders idly how many bogus leads the police will have to comb through over the next few days; five thousand dollars is more than enough incentive to draw out the liars and the cheats.

He hops down the steps of the Xavier-Lehnsherr home and crosses the double car driveway, frowning at the trampled edges of the bush that borders the edge of his front garden. He’ll have to call the service to come and take a look at it, he thinks; best to call first thing in the morning…

He really hates having things out of place.

A few more leisurely steps and he’s through his front door, humming a soft jazz tune he heard earlier on the car radio. He locks the door and keys in the code to the alarm and then heads into the living room to pour himself a drink from the bar; a whiskey tonight, to help settle his stomach from Raven’s ghastly fast food offering.

Once he’s finished - one shot, then another for luck – he toes off his shoes and slips off his suit jacket, discarding them on the fine leather couch. He takes the steps down to the wine cellar and flips on the overhead light, taking a quick peek at the thermostat to check on the temperature. Pleased with the reading he turns his attention to the back wall, taking a moment to admire the fine collection he’s amassed from all over the world, before swinging the panel open to reveal the reinforced steel door. Another code, and the door swings open, and he smiles at the man waiting for him on the other side.

“Charles,” he says, “I’ve been looking forward to this moment all day.”

#gerec writes #cherik #charpocalypse #I have no idea how to tag this lol

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paulisweeabootrash · 5 years

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New Year’s Mini-Review Pack 2019

Another year is over and I want to make the mini-review pack from last year a yearly tradition to announce it.

Sometimes I watch shows that I have something to say about, but I don't feel like writing a real review of them. Here are the five I want to highlight this year.

Happy New Year, nerds!

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1. Food Wars (2015)

Episodes watched: 7

Platform: Hulu

Souma is in the family diner business, trained by his father on expert renditions of “low-class” foods. He expects to continue in the family business, and even rescues the diner (via cooking, naturally) from sabotage by a developer trying to pressure his father into selling the building so it can be replaced with high-rise apartments. But despite that, his father shuts down the restaurant “for a few years” to go abroad and sends Souma to a fancy boarding school for aspiring chefs. The school is sprawling and eclectic in a way only anime boarding schools can be. And, like any self-respecting anime boarding school, it naturally has three things: an absolutely nonsensical student government, an extraordinary level of old-school elitism, and most importantly, duels. Disputes can be settled through challenges of head-to-head Iron Chef-style cooking, with wagers riding on them ranging from "you have to join this club if you lose" to "you're expelled if you lose". As far as I’ve watched so far, there are a few episodes focused on setting up the premise and main characters and a few focused on these competitions between students. Although the latter concept can be tedious because I’m not much of a tournament show person, it is nevertheless fun because this show commits to its absurdity.

Classic W/A/S: 6 / 7 / 3

Weeb: Ludicrous school setups! The main character progressing through a series of duels! Tentacles! In-depth descriptions of Japanese food! It's not the kind of weeb that makes it incomprehensible to those not familiar with the tropes, but it's certainly very Japanese.

Ass: This show has been described to me by several people as "literal food porn", and... yeah. The cold open scene to the first episode contains... uh... basically tentacle porn. I'm sorry. The feelings of characters' pleasure (or revulsion) in food is depicted metaphorically and absolutely over-the-top, often with the pleasure of delicious food being heavily sexualized. And there's plenty of sexualization of both male and female characters even outside of these scenes, although it never crosses the line into full nudity.

Shit: Very well-drawn! The food is particularly gorgeous, as you'd expect, but the other imagery is creative, and the melodramatic writing and music are not bad, even fitting for so outlandish and cheesy a concept.

PS: I haven’t actually tried making it... yet... but the gag dish introduced in ep. 1, grilled squid with peanut butter, sounds good to me, despite the negative results you can easily find... and others seem to agree, since the concept predates the show. Just make a peanut-butter-based-sauce rather than just using peanut butter and it should be fine.

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2. Hinamatsuri (2018)

Episodes watched: 12

Platform: Crunchyroll

Hina, a time-traveling middle-school-aged psychic, arrives in our time, in the apartment of a very confused yakuza operative, Nitta Yoshifumi, who takes her in. Shenanigans ensue, mostly centering around hilarious misunderstandings and the dubious life lessons Yoshifumi and other mobsters impart. Mostly, the comedy and story are propelled by Hina and two other girls we meet early on: another time-traveler, Anzu, who is sent to retrieve her, fails, and gets stuck in our time, and Hitomi, whom Hina meets as a classmate when Yoshifumi enrolls Hina in school under the name Nitta Hina (claiming she is his daughter), and who gets intimidated into taking an after-school job as a bartender that she struggles to keep secret. The show's format is two segments per episode focusing on different slice of life-ish stories (though with solid continuity and more ongoing plot than you might expect for that characterization), and is usually comedic but also veers into drama and incredible sweetness. Hina is deadpan, bad at conversation, and unable to unable to understand the context or motives of what others are saying, in a way that honestly almost makes me think autism(?), but I'm guessing is probably supposed to just be "she was raised in the creepy time travel organization and they didn't train her to socialize". Anzu is a different outcome of the same deprivation: after not returning Hina to their own time, she moves into a homeless camp and quickly takes in the life lessons of the residents, becoming earnest, helpful, and incredibly resistant to spending money, but completely baffled and amazed at how our world works. Hitomi, the only "normal" one, is just... the best. The episode about her first becoming a bartender felt like a backdoor pilot, and if it were I would absolutely watch that spinoff. The first segment of ep. 10, also starring Hitomi, is the funniest "compounding misunderstandings"-style comedy I've seen in a while... and I'm a big Arrested Development fan, so that means something.

Classic W/A/S: 3 / 2 / 3

Weeb: There are some distinctly Japanese traditions depicted, but most elements of the show could be moved to a different setting and "reskinned" for different cultures' organized crime, foods, shopping options, homeless camps, etc., without sacrificing any of the plot or comedy. Mostly, its distinctly Japanese features are that it relies on imagery and exaggerations that absolutely scream "comedy anime".

Ass: Sexual humor and references, occasionally, but not going to far. Recurring nudity, but not full and not for fanservice. Actually, it seems as if they've taken a cue from Terminator and assumed that, for whatever reason, you have to time-travel naked.

Shit: This show is practically made of reaction images. Although it's not the best animated, it's very consistent, clean, and expressive. They do well with how they did it. The show practically demands a second season in its last episode, and I think it could make it all the way down to a score of 2 or even 1 on here if they do so and upgrade the animation a bit. The characters are distinctly and pleasantly designed and rarely does a scene go by that isn't hilarious not because of some kind of rapid-fire jokes thing but because each segment is set up so well and characters play off each other. Hina's lack of affect gets a little tiresome, but the other characters are great, and usually get a large chunk of an episode's screentime.

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3. Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon? Arrow of the Orion (2019)

Episodes watched: n.a. — movie

Platform: in theater

Picking up sometime between the first and second seasons of the main series of Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon (or Danmachi for short, derived from the Japanese title), this follows the main cast of Bell Cranel and his ragtag dungeon-crawling party on a new quest. Artemis, Greek goddess of chastity and hunting, is in search, via Hermes, of an adventurer who can wield "the Orion" (a drastically OP spear with the power to kill gods themselves) to destroy Antares, a monster who keeps wiping out adventuring parties and has become a threat to the entire world because [spoiler]. A love... square... ensues between Bell, Hestia, Lili, and Artemis, and other various shenanigans happen that will make much more sense if you've seen the main show and its companion/spinoff, Sword Oratoria. I personally didn't find the affection between Bell and Artemis particularly believable, and I didn't expect the ending to go quite the way it did, but I try not to complain about a story not being the story I wanted it to be. Watch it if you're already a Danmachi fan or really really like weird takes on classical mythology. Skip if not.

Classic W/A/S: 3 / 4 / 4

Weeb: Prior knowledge of Danmachi helps immensely, but is not strictly required as there is a and although the show is another "what if we just mix a bunch of mythologies together?" and "what if a real world functioned on RPG logic?" premise, it does occasionally have an idea thrown in that will be foreign to much of the American audience (even if not distinctly Japanese), such as the Buddhist idea of gods themselves being reincarnated (something that also came up in Noragami).

Ass: As the after-credits interview feature says, they wondered whether or not they should keep -sigh- the panty shot. And they went with "yes". Also, peeping on women bathing has, unfortunately, become a running joke whenever Hermes appears in Danmachi, so be prepared for that. Without giving spoilers, though, let me just say I hope not all of the nudity comes off as sexual.

Shit: The monsters are hit-or-miss CGI, sometimes blending with the 2D animation of the rest, sometimes looking so jarring it's actually funny. The 2D art is usually beautiful, though, and as much as I love the show, this is definitely an art upgrade overall. The plot has a few dumb elements, honestly, or at least not well-enough-developed ones, that make me wonder if it could have worked better as a story arc in the show itself (actually developing a relationship between Artemis and Bell). The score is a mix of reused tracks from the show plus some new stuff that sounds pretty Jurassic Park-era John Williams to me. A few subtitle choices are noticeably different from the show, but not consequential to understanding things. There were a lot of ugly audio glitches, especially early on, but I hope that's a problem with the equipment at the theater I went to and not the editing of the movie.

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4. Supernatural the Animation (2011)

Episodes watched: 1.

Platform: Hulu.

This show follows Sam and Dean Winchester, who -- yup, you're on the right blog, and yup, that's "Supernatural" as in the long-running American live action series. For those not familiar, the original is a sprawling drama set in basically "our world except all mythologies and folklores are true", and follows the aforementioned Winchester brothers, who hunt monsters in situations that range from their straightforward monster-of-the-week investigations to meta-humor to multi-season story arcs involving multiple trips to Hell itself. My wife is a huge fan, so I've seen a lot of episodes just incidentally, and enjoyed some of them, but haven't really followed the show. She assures me, though, that this anime adaptation is loosely based on the first two seasons. So loosely that at first she thought it was some sort of interquel or sidestory. The first episode comes off feeling like you're supposed to already be familiar with the main characters -- that they're brothers, that they're monster hunters, why they're looking for their missing father -- because not much actually gets explained. It’s unremarkable and badly-executed and ugh.

Classic W/A/S: 3 / 1? / 7

Weeb: Although the source material is American (and further back, European and Middle Eastern, given the influence of European folklore traditions and the Abrahamic religions on the choice and depiction of monsters), it's presented in a very Japanese style. This is especially true in reworking the original's horror tendencies -- the blood splatter from offscreen and the writhing, lurching body horror that is the shapeshifter seem much more like what little I've seen of Japanese horror than American.

Ass: I forgot to write anything for this immediately after I watched it and I don't care enough to go back and check but I don't remember anything that would fall under the headings of fanservice or general nudity.

Shit: Variable. There are occasional moments of bad CG, occasional low-frame-rate weirdness, and disjointed storytelling compared to what I've seen of the original. The art style is pretty interesting, though, because it's not something you see animated much -- its angular faces and stark shadows remind me of the darker end of American superhero comics. Although it's certainly not the technically worst show I've reviewed in either story or art, I find it extremely unpleasant and do not want to continue past one episode. If you feel like doing so, feel free to tell me if it gets any better.

Content: Violence and horror imagery is somehow both less extreme and more successfully unsettling (at least to me) than those in the original live-action show.

#Food Wars #Hinamatsuri #Danmachi #Arrow of the Orion #Supernatural #Supernatural the Animation #weeaboo trash #mini-reviews #happy new year

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sentrava · 6 years

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What’s On in Copenhagen: December 2018

We’ve made it to the end of the year, and while we’ll be sad to say goodbye to 2018 (kind of), we’re excited for what 2019 will bring. In the meantime, there’s plenty to do in Copenhagen throughout the year’s final month. Some of it is even unrelated to Christmas! What a thought!

Throw on your winter gear, adjust your eyes to the darkness, and go have some fun.

Here are the best events happening in Copenhagen during December:

Saturday 1st – Sunday 2nd December

Flids Julemarked

Browse over 100 stands of handcrafted goods, from design to illustration to ceramics. The market takes place all weekend from 11 am – 5 pm in Nørrebrohallen. Entrance is 30 DKK. This is the perfect place to buy gifts made by local artists for the holidays!

Carlsberg Julemarked

Enjoy a traditional Danish Christmas market including handcrafted items, glögg, and other yummy refreshments. Entrance to the market is free, and there’s a free shuttle bus running to and from the market. If you can’t make it this weekend, don’t worry; the market is open 8th – 9th as well as 15th – 16th December.

Studio Arhoj Christmas Market

Colorful, quirky ceramics from Studio Arhoj have become a favorite around Denmark. Get up to 75% off their pieces, as well as the chance to buy unique “happy mistakes.” There will be glögg and æbleskiver served as well. Sounds pretty cozy!

Saturday 1st December

MØ at Royal Arena

Danish pop star MØ performs at the Royal Arena with supporting acts Solemia and Alma. It’s a Scandi female musical power team! Go and dance your ass off.

Please Wait to Be Seated Xmas Bazaar

Have some glögg, cookies, and browse the wonderful work of Danish design brand Please Wait to Be Seated. There will be discounts! There will be a second bazaar on the 8th of December.

Sunday 2nd December

Chynna at Ideal Bar

This talented American rapper is up-and-coming so catch her while she’s still playing intimate venues and tickets are available!

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Sneaker Banquet

Calling all sneaker heads! This is the biggest sneaker event of the year, with 800 square meters of space, filled with sneakers. Come check out every kind of kick imaginable and buy your next pair. The banquet takes place at Langelinie in Østerbro.

Tuesday 4th December

The Nightmare Before Christmas Sing-Along at Cinematket

Get into the Christmas spirit with a sing-along with one of the most beautiful holiday movies of all time. If you haven’t experienced the The Nightmare Before Christmas this way yet, don’t miss the chance!

Mariah Carey “All I Want for Christmas” Tour at Royal Arena

We’ve hit peak Christmas, folks! Mariah Carey has taken her “All I Want for Christmas” Tour to Europe, and we’ll never be the same. Enjoy the camp, the spectacle, and of course the amazing voice that is so uniquely Mariah Carey.

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Wednesday 5th December

Messias Classic i Københavns Domkirke

See Akademisk Orkester perform Händels Messias at Københavns Domkirke. This beautiful performance is sure to inspire classical music lovers of all ages. Prices range from 160 – 200 DKK, with half price tickets for those under 26.

Thursday 6th December

SAVEUS at Store Vega

Martin Hoberg Hedegaard won the first round of Danish X-Factor at the age of 15 in 2008. He began recording under the name SAVEUS in 2015, quickly releasing two singles. His distinctive nasal voice and pop sensibility have made him popular in Denmark and, soon, beyond.

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Facon Facon Gold Event

In need of the perfect holiday gift? Shop the 18K gold collection from Facon Facon at 20% off at this exclusive event. There will be bubbles and bar food served all evening.

Friday 7th December

Rufus Gifford – The Next Chapter

Former American Ambassador to Denmark Rufus Gifford shares the experiences of his four years in Copenhagen, as well as what he’ll be doing next. There will be a Q&A session afterwards. Tickets are 249 DKK and the event takes place at the cozy Bremen Theatre.

Saturday 8th December

Brekeriet Tap Takeover at BRAW Bar

Brekeriet Tap takes over BRAW Bar in Nørrebro for one day. Come taste their unique, rustic beers while a DJ spins tunes. This will be a fun night!

Port Wine Tasting at Hotel SP34

Experience the true meaning of hygge at Hotel SP34’s port wine tasting. For 225 DKK, you’ll get five port wines and a range of small snacks, as well as extensive explanations from the resident expert. The tasting takes place on the roof. You’ll also get 15% off the bar in general, so be sure to stick around after your tasting. Hotel SP34 has the largest port collection in Denmark.

Sunday 9th December

Danish on a Sunday: Rubber Tarzan

This classic Danish film from 1981 is based on the beloved book of the same name.

Thursday 13th December

Trainspotting with Live Orchestration at KBH Huset

What’s better than the film Trainspotting? The film Trainspotting with live orchestration! If you’ve never seen a movie performed this way, it’s a total treat and really adds to the theatrical experience.

Lucia i Kajak

This Christmas parade isn’t like others you’ve seen – it’s all kayaks! Bring your own kayak dressed to the nines with wreaths and lights, or rent one, and then make your way around the Copenhagen canals. You’ll end at Kayak Republic, where you’ll drink glögg and eat yummy treats.

Friday 14th – Sunday 16th December

FindersKeepers at Axel Towers

With over 120 stands and two floors of designer booths, FindersKeepers is one of the largest design markets in Copenhagen. Their Christmas edition, held at the beautiful Axel Towers this year, always provides a ton of gifting inspiration. You” be introduced to artists and brands you may not have heard of before, as well as get a chance to buy from those you already love.

Friday 14th December

Interaction Design Programme – Final Exhibition 2018

If you’re a designer, or are interesting in interaction design, you’ll want to check out the final projects from the Copenhagen Institute of Interactive Design (CIID). See the ways in which interaction design can be innovative and disruptive. Hopefully these projects will go on beyond the school semester!

Saturday 15th December

Ceramics Market

Yonobi Studio is partnering with Absalon in Vesterbro to host this high-end ceramics market, where you’ll find pieces from some of the most sought-after ceramicists in the city. Buy a few gifts for the holidays, and pick something up for yourself!

Sunday 16th December

Christmas Queens: Official Tour

Season 8 winner Bob the Drag Queen hosts this night of glamor, humor and beauty. When a drag show and Christmas meet, you know you’re in for a treat!

Big Christmas Tasting at Rødder & Vin

Not sure what to pair with your meal this year at Christmas? Rødder & Vin to the rescue! Pop by their shop for a wine tasting as they explore the best wines for various traditional Danish Christmas dishes. It’s free!

Tuesday 18th December

Händels Messias med Camerata

Hear the beautiful Händels Messias with the Camerata Choir and Orchestra in the gorgeous Holmens Kirke. There will be repeat performances on the 20th and 21st.

Thursday 20th December

Thomas Dybdahl at Store Vega

Norwegian singer-songwriter Thomas Dybdahl has been compared to Jeff Buckley for his soulful sound. Grab tickets for this concert before they sell out.

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Wednesday 26th December

Vertigo at Cinemateket

Treat yourself to the visual and psychological feast of Alfred Hitchcock’s Vertigo, starring James Stewart and Kim Novak. The 1958 film is considered one of Hitchcock’s best works, and is widely thought to be one of the best films of all time. The film follows former police detective Stewart, forced into early retirement as a result of his vertigo, s he is hired to investigate the wife of an acquaintance. We won’t give more away – go see it if you haven’t already!

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Sunday 30th December

Beasts of the Southern Wild at Cinematket

The film that provided Quvenzhané Wallis’s break-out role, Beasts of the Southern Wild is an intense, lyrical film that will leave you devastated. Wallis plays Hushpuppy, a young girl in search of her lost mother. Her sick father is unable to care for her, and climate change has made her world nearly unliveable, unleashing strange beasts. The film provides both harsh reality and surrealism, switching deftly between the two.

Monday 31st December

Party Like Gatsby

Looking for glamorous new year’s plans? This is the party for you! You can either buy a ticket for entrance to the party and show, or buy a full table for all your friends. There will be live performances including music, burlesque, and more – all with a 1920s theme. Make sure to dress in your finest attire (period clothes not required); those not in proper dress won’t be allowed entrance.

New Year’s Eve

Not sure how to do NYE with Danish flair? Check out our guide to a Danish New Year’s Eve (lots of fireworks). Happy 2019, everyone!

Ongoing in December

Christmas at Tivoli

Enjoy the market with handmade gifts, the glögg, the delicious food, and the twinkling lights. Christmas at Tivoli is a Danish tradition; it’s a little bit corny and a lot of fun. This is an especially good outing for kids, or just those looking to get into the holiday vibe! Christmas at Tivoli runs until the 31st of December.

The Great BARR Christmas Feast

BARR’s Christmas feast is back after a rousing success last year. The meal consists of classic Danish Christmas dishes with an unexpected twist. Lunch is available every Friday – Sunday throughout the month, until 16th December. This is a truly elevated julefrokost.

The Blues Woman Pop-Up

Chef Amanda Yee of The Blues Woman opens her pop-up brunch and dinner spot at Slagtehusgade 5C in Kødbyen. Enjoy two courses of American Southern food with items like Cornbread Hash for brunch and braised oxtail for dinner. There are vegetarian and vegan options available too. The pop-up is slated to run until the end of the year, so be sure to book your ticket while you can!

Colour Form Texture at Louisiana Museum of Modern Art

This outstanding exhibition explores the use of color as a primary focus in modern art. Artists include Yves Klein, Sigmar Polke and Marilyn Minter.

Take My Breath Away – Danh Vo at Statens Museum for Kunst

Danish-raised, Vietnamese-born artist Danh Vo presents a selection of his works over the years and the resulting exhibition is absolutely electrifying. Vo explores themes of identity and cultural history. His works are thought-provoking and absorbing.

Women of Surrealism at GL Strand

Did you know that there is a rich history of female surrealist artists in Denmark? Neither did we, but thankfully GL Strand is showcasing three of the most important among this cohort. See the works of Franciska Clausen, Rita Kernn-Larsen, and Elsa Thoresen side-by-side for the first time. These pieces are from the 1920s – 40s. The exhibit starts 15th September and runs until mid-January 2019.

If you’re a business or organisation that would like us to add your event to next month’s calendar, please contact us at hello [@] scandinaviastandard [dot] com. Thank you!

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