#this has been in my google docs for a good year LMAO

[spinoff-antithesis]

[@distinguished-turtle-enjoyer ]

i actually have not stopped thinkin bout your bb!edit like,,,, its so good and scratches my brain right

how long have you been doin edits for? do have any tips for someone, who hypothetically, wants to start doin edits too? what programs do you use? how did you do the cool animated bits?

im so sorry for all the qustions 😭😭 i just think youre very talented and inspirational and i hope you have a good day ^_^

hi firstly oh my gosh you're literally so sweet i am gently shaking you i love you so much /p. secondly, i apologize for the long answer! (it's all under the cut. this got away from me. i'm so sorry apparently i have a lot to say.) (also you're so good about the questions i would constantly be asking one of my professors questions during class to the point where she said i didn't have to go "i have a question" every time i approached her)

i've been editing since 2016! around march/april, i think? loved it so much i went into film & video production in college as a major so i could do editing for a living. (i have done more motion graphics for my classmates than i have done edits outside of class assignments, BUT!)

the program i use is after effects - i started learning it when covid first hit the united states because i had nothing better to do with my time (other than music theory but i failed that bc my professor focused more on the history aspects than the actual theory soooo) and my ipad kept giving me the "no more storage" whenever i tried to use videostar lmao. (vs has, apparently, gotten a LOT of good updates, so if you're looking to start editing and have an ios system, i'd look into it! only downside is you have to pay for some of the cool stuff).

also the program i use for masking (i think i explain this later dwdw) is superimpose. i've been using it since 2014 and it's SO nice bc i can use my fingers to erase backgrounds & stuff instead of hoping i can get it to work correctly in ae or photoshop (photoshop my DETESTED i'll use it but i'll complain the entire time).

for people who want to start editing: tutorials on how your program works and how to do specific transitions are gonna be your best friend when you're first figuring things out! i forced a friend to literally walk me through how after effects worked when i was first figuring it out, and when i had swapped to videostar back in 2017/2018(?) i had watched a Lot of tutorials. that and played around a lot and figured things out on my own - which is also always a good way to start!! it's also totally valid to look at other people's edits for inspiration - most editors don't really care, as long as you don't flat-out remake their edit (some people don't like that!). i have a style insp folder on instagram where i save edits that i like so if i need transition ideas or i'm doing a different style, i can look there for inspiration. at the end of the day, as long as you're having fun with it that's all that matters!

also, starting simple is always okay!! my edits for a year were just me slapping gifs & video segments together on a timeline in cute cut pro bc imovie didn't load them lol & it'd crash every time i breathed. ++ it never hurts to ask people for feedback/constructive(!!!) criticism/etc! (also not to sound like everyone else but practice? good. it's so good. if i showed my 14/15y/o self some of the edits i can make now they would've passed out on the spot bc i was still trying to figure out transitions back then. programs can also sometimes make a difference in edits, but usually it's not super noticeable until you start getting to the Complicated Shit.)

a lot of popular programs i've seen are ones like video star (ios only), alight motion (android only), after effects (i recommend 🏴‍☠️ing it tbh, i only use it legally bc i had to use adobe programs for school), capcut, and i think some people still use sony vegas pro & maybe cute cut pro (i've heard it may have actually gotten better since i last used it in 2018)? i have no idea. programs also depend on whatever device you're using to edit on! since i've been using my laptop, i'm able to use after effects (it's computer-only), but when i used my phone/ipad to edit i used ccp & vs.

for the animation - it's a lot of cutting up the image and masking! more complex animations, like the one i had of leo walking down that red 'hallway' have several different layers that have been masked. (i removed the background & filled in the spot where leo originally was in two different apps - superimpose (taking leo out) & photoshop (filling in the bg)) in after effects, the way i've done this was mask out the specific thing i wanted to move (like an eye) and then put that mask on what i've called a "base" (not animated), and then stick a solid behind the base to match the color of the object. (some of my layers are not named appropriately; base 2 is the left arm & the four "SIX_[...]" layers are the mask/bandana tails)

an example of this would be for any of the eye blink animations i did! this (above) is the same shot, with and without the eye - since it's masked out and i have the background solid behind it, it doesn't look too unnatural/have a black outline/mass where his eye should be.

what it looks like without the solid layer behind it ^ (the red lines are from the null layers - ignore that)

this is what my timeline looks like if it's a more simplistic animation - the only five things being animated here are leo & raph's eyes. (there's only this many layers bc it's two characters in one shot & i was also animating their pupils - typically, an eye-blink animation is about 4-6 layers for me (solid, base, mask, & null to animate with, 6 if i'm animating both eyes & 4 if just one))

in after effects, there's this really cool tool called the puppet pin that one of my friends (lovingly) yelled at me for not knowing about - which. yeah fair she wasn't wrong it's SUPER useful in animating, provided you chop up your image first. if you don't it's a mess.

(separated by layer vs i should've really put the mask tails & leo's head on separate layers and didn't bc that was the 2nd to last animation i had to do and i was losing my mind bc i wanted to be done with the edit lmao)

the way people animate depends all on their style (there's two common ways to do blinking animation - having the anchor point at the bottom of the eye, or the middle of it) and the program they use. it's been a while, but i could probably tell you how to do some basic animations on videostar still even though i've been doing them in after effects for about 2-3years now. ALSO the best way to have an animation be noticeable is to over-exaggerate it/make them Big - which, yes, can mean 'breaking bones' and having the limbs be a little wonky at the start. (if you want it to be realistic though go Just to the point where it looks uncomfortable lmao)

uhm. again i am so sorry that this is so long i THINK this is everything? if not: my inbox/dms are always open if you ever want to ask more questions, wanna follow up on something, etc etc!! (also if you ever start editing please send me your edits!!! i'd love to see them <3)

[moonshynecybin]

what would you consider essential marc and rosquez watching? i don’t mean races but the stuff happening around it, there seems to be so much and idk where to start 😭

BIG ass question. i think it depends what you want outta this and how you best interact with content slash consume information. for me (not to brag but. winner of multiple historical essay writing competitions in high school. for context on the kind of freak i am bringing to the table here.) the research is kind of the fun part ! like i just started googling shit! i would go to inactive blogs and just search 'marquez' on them to see what would happen ! a lot of the times that works ! but it also takes a lotttt of time lol so i'll chuck some good resources your way, why not...

okay im not sure how basic we're talkin here but um. background. so the documentaries are, i think. the best place to start. theyre entertaining and offer a good amalgamation of clips to provide context for the actual racing. and like i know you de-emphasized racing (which is fine lol who cares) but it really is like the most important thing in the world to these fools and its a pretty visual sport so i think its at least helpful. like yes sepang IS about the press conference, but its also about the conversation they have ON the race track using their motorcycles. which is also somewhat a conversation that they HAVE been having all year long...

i'd start with hitting the apex (2013), its a GREAT introduction to the "characters" that does a lot of legwork to contextualize everything. lays the scene for where vale is at coming into his relationship with marc (both personally, wrt to marco simoncelli, and career-wise concerning his flop at ducati), and also how insane marc's whole deal is in general. the second half is. materially a study on what him entering the premiere class did to the sport as a whole. the introductory chapter in many respects

marc marquez: all in. MY introduction and blissfully free online. marc comma in his own words, with all the implications of that. a self-produced documentary where he is giving feedback about the edit of said documentary straight to camera and no less vulnerable because of it which is very marc imo. revealing both intentionally AND unintentionally about his whole deal with injury, vale, and his image.

motogp unlimited. im gonna be real kind of boring. like i would still watch it ! but do it kind of later, once you know the major players so youre automatically more invested. it doesnt really give you more than marc says himself in all in tbh, and i get the sense him and vale were NAWWWT interested in doing more than the bare minimum for it.

marc's rookie doc. free and subtitled on the youtubes. the first half of this is deadass just him wanting to fuck vale so bad while every comment from vale has me saying GIRL. out loud because the foreshadowing would be genuinely shocking if this was fiction. anyways the laguna seca of it all....

next i would hit up PODCASTS ! i think it makes sense after the documentaries, because these are all podcasts that arent strictly about rosquez (even if they are in many ways the main characters lmao) and personally it helps to put faces to lesser known names that might pop up before i listen to a purely audio product and get lost in the soup of sounds. the paddock pass podcast has two retrospective episodes about the 2015 season that are really good at context, oxley bom pod has a fun recent episode on valentino that i love, again just poke around a lil

videos. these guys have never filmed a lot of content together tragically. what i wouldnt give for someone to make them do an escape room. anyways ranch visit HERE (post explaining the ranch visit here). sepang presscon (sowwy) here. vale unhinged podcast interview the month after marc's documentary came out here. vale retirement interview where he gets asked about marc here. vale talking about asking marc to the ranch here. vale postrace at argentina 2018 here. UCCIO postrace at argentina 2018 here. theres a lot moreeeee just go on my blog archive and filter for rosquez and vids its easier lol

journalism. hello. okay so you should genuinely spend some time reading through mat oxley's stuff he can write (theres a paywall but you can run that shit through wayback machine). he also loves an insane comparison which i do enjoy.... again this is one that can be solved by googling his name and tacking on 'marquez' or 'rossi' or a specific time period or race it will probably reap some dividends. in terms of specific ass articles this one is kind of load bearing in terms of sepang and some of the interpersonal competitive tensions at play. that being said there are manyyyyyy crazy interviews and snippents of articles from other journos floating around motogp tumblr (like literally too many to link) adn its fun to dig around to find them, but mat oxley gets a shoutout because i was reading this article TODAY !

other content. honestly one of the best resources I'VE found for plotting out the arc of their relationship is @kingofthering's everyrosquezpodium series. you can REALLY see it play out lol. also her tagging system rules she very neatly lays out years and races... so if something jumps out at you, CLICK ITTTT ! also all of @ricciardoes fave presscon moments series. insane.

all this to say a small little rpf fandom like this rewards some digging! i would just recommend following narrative threads that interest you ! its also a small fanbase that is pretty research oriented, so if youre ever confused about somethin, just shoot an ask or run a search on someone's blog (@kwisatzworld has endless vale resources and @batsplat is one of the most thorough researchers ive ever seen, for example) like for real theres so much... i also have a primer that i made forever ago that has some links on it so you can peruse that if you so wish. but frankly a lot of it is just using those research muscles and being sufficiently deranged enough to be screenshotting reddit threads at one am so you can post them to tumblr because they mentioned marc and vale in the same sentence and that lit up some of the neurons in your brain

(and i know you said outside of races but i think theyre good benchmarks as turning points soooo you should do some diggin on laguna seca 2013, jerez 2015, argentina 2015, ASSEN 2015, sepang 2015 obvi, argentina 2018, and misano 2019. those are the big tentpoles of insane rosquez relationship drama imo. i mean theres many more but. im limiting myself.)

[gabessquishytum]

i keep typing out asks to send you but stop working part way through 😔 so instead of letting them sit in my google docs, i'm just gonna send what i've written and just summarize what i wanted the rest to be 🙃

so. here's one of them lmao

---------

loosely inspired by Abigail (2024)

---

Hob is a reformed criminal, ok; he got out of that life when he met Eleanor and created a new life for himself when they married, identity and all. He didn't want any children they had to have to deal with any of that. He was even going to school to become a teacher.

And then Eleanor died and Robyn was taken and now Hob is being forced back into that life to get him back.

It's a kidnapping job, some rich fuck, with a large payout and Hob doesn't fucking care, he just wants his son back.

When he sees it's a 12 year old boy who's scared out of his mind, though, that's when he snaps.

He can't do anything, not yet, not when they- whoever they are, he still isn't sure- still have Robyn. All he can do right now is wait and protect the boy.

--

so it eventually gets revealed that the kids name is Orpheus, that his father is Dream (who's known to be incredibly dangerous, there are stories about him, most of which Hob doesn't believe because hello, vampires aren't real!!!)

except Hob gets proven wrong when Orpheus gets scared (and hungry) enough (he's just a baby!!!) and starts killing off his abductors. he only leaves Hob alone because he was nice to him and confided in Orpheus about his son.

Dream finally shows up at the end of the bloodbath (he was out of the country or something, idk lmao) with Robyn, who had been taken by Burgess (he wanted to force Dream into turning him and that's where Dream thought Orpheus was at first) and is all "you protected my son in the end and ur hot, i'm gonna turn you and make you my bride :)"

and Hob is like "!!! I don't want to get murdered if I say no so I guess I don't have a choice!!!"

and so Hob gets turned, he and Dream are now vampire married and fuck often, and Robyn and Orpheus bond over having weird dads (and when he's old enough, Robyn chooses to be turned as well; no way was Hob gonna make him go through puberty AND deal with being a vampire) (really Hob just didn't want to deal with the angst that came from it all, it's like the normal teenage angst bullshit got doubled and he was NOT doing it, thank you very much) (Orpheus was bad enough, and he was a born vampire; he definitely got the dramatics from his father)

Awww so cute! I remember the trailers for Abigail and thinking that the young lil vampire killing people was a cool concept.

I think the vampire family with Dream and Orpheus and Hob and Robyn would be so cute 🥺 like they live in a big spooky chateau with lots of vampire servants (who are also their friends tbh. Cori is their terrible terrible butler and Matthew is meant to be a valet but hes honestly just Dream’s weird friend at this point) and they go on hunts to kill bad people and eat them, and sometimes they go into town and do normal human things (Dream is really not very good at pretending to be human, but it makes Hob and the kids laugh a lot to see him try). Of course Dream hosts fancy vampire balls sometimes, and persuades Hob to get all dressed up in flowing red ballgowns because they're vampire married and Dream wants to show off his bride to everyone!!!

Orpheus and Robyn have to get Matthew to help them in solidly soundproofing their bedrooms because their dads are having NASTY sex every night. Orpheus has it worse because he has super vampire hearing - he did NOT want to know about his dad and step-dad's kinky strapped to an altar drinking each other's blood sex. But he gets his revenge eventually with a fellow vampire called Eurydice when they fuck on Dream’s favourite red velvet couch. DEFINITELY dramatic just like his father, honestly.

But next time someone tries to kidnap literally anyone in the Endless-Gadling family, they're in for a big surprise. Dream and Hob are protective of their baby boys, and Orpheus and Robyn are soon fully grown vampires ready to protect their dads. They really are the cutest family! As long as you're not squeamish!

[uhohbestie]

TAMN Outline

Since we're so close to the end of TAMN, I just wanted to share what Lock and my outline looks like, especially because neither of us ever used outlines for writing fic before this LOL

The only reason we have one for TAMN is because we were determined to finish this thing within a year of starting it and really wanted to post a chapter a week. Realistically, between work and irl and different timezones, there was no WAY we'd be able to keep up with a weekly posting schedule OR our self-imposed deadline if we were writing on the fly, so an outline was a good way to keep us on track.

(Details under the cut 'cause this got long af lmao)

SO FIRST OF ALL. We have quick chapter markers to refer to just to keep track of where we're at. The obvious ones are as follows:

🐈 Scar POV Chapters 🦜 Grian POV Chapters 🧟‍♂️ Some sort of significant zombie encounter that chapter 💦 Smut

I took this screenshot a WHILE back so Chapter 12 was actually split into 2 chapters, as was Chapter 14. So while the two emojis in Chapter 14 were meant to signify both Scar and Grian's POVs in that chapter, we ultimately just split it into a separate Scar chapter and a separate Grian chapter.

As for the other markers, this is what they mean at a glance:

✔️ Chapter is written ✔️✔️ Chapter has been edited by one person ✅ Chapter edited by both of us; Ready to Post 💯 Chapter has been posted to AO3

The last one isn't in the screenshot above, but is another one we use. And, ofc, if it doesn't have any of those markers beside it, it means the chapter hasn't been written yet.

Other than that, every chapter heading has not only the chapter number, but a reminder of where Scarian are, the time of day that chapter starts at, and how long of a walk/drive to their next destination remains. Plus, the very first point is always the current date and the weather (in Celsius 🍁) for the day. It looks something like this:

For a short chapter like Ch. 6 where not too much happens, the outline is just a handful of points. Also, we put a strike through things we skipped as we wrote when we felt they no longer fit the mood we were going for. (Basically, the outline is here as a guide and we adjust as needed for full creative freedom.)

Now the LINKS at the bottom lead to ANOTHER document where Lock and I's original conversations are sorted, in case we need to reference back to something we don't remember. That looks like something like this:

So when you click the link, there's a pop up that will take you directly to the original conversation about it located in another doc.

Basically, Lock and I had talked about TAMN for months before every writing it, so when I suggested making an outline, Lock was like "yeah, we basically have a skeleton already with how much we've talked about it". So what we did was, I copy-pasted EVERY conversation we had about TAMN into a Google Doc, and then Lock went through and SUMMARISED EVERYTHING in each conversation into The Main Points. After that, I went and put them into chronological order in a new doc which then became the outline we use today! 💫

Thus, when you click on a link from the outline, you get taken to the conversation summary, and if you scroll down past the summary you get to the actual conversation itself, minus our usernames/formatting/timestamps to make it easier to read at a glance:

And then, ofc, the further along we got in the fic, the more complicated the plot and the chapters got. So instead of short and sweet outlines with a link or two to old conversations, we had to come up with a lot of in between events that still somehow added to the plot and moved the story along to the main points we wanted to hit.

This was actually what took me the longest during outlining, and poor Lock kept going "JUST LEAVE IT BLANK, WE'LL FIGURE IT OUT AS WE GO" but I really wanted to have SOMETHING down just to give us a springboard to launch off of, because we had no idea if we'd have time WHILE writing to come up with anything.

(This continues on for more pages since we combined two chapters into one here, but this is the gist of what the outlines turned into per chapter as we got later and later in the fic LOL)

Turned out to be the right call, because it's saved our asses more than once when on a time-crunch! That said, there were a couple chapters where we DID in fact go "idk about what's in the outline, what if we do this instead?" and then do that because it Felt Right. So again, the outline was super helpful but not a hard and fast rule. (Though Lock and I had our fair share of "WHY DIDN'T YOU WRITE WHAT WAS IN THE OUTLINE"/"I FORGOR" moments that have been fun every step of the way 😂)

AAAND, I THINK THAT'S IT! THAT'S OUR OUTLINE! 🎉

Just wanted to make a post for it to document because it was such a novel experience, hahaha! Like I said earlier, neither Lock nor I ever used outlines before, even when writing fics together for other fandoms :')

I've got two completed longfics under my belt from before TAMN in my last fandom and I wrote those completely on the fly as well. Worked out just fine, but like. It took me 2-4 YEARS to finish the fics, and they were both MUCH shorter than TAMN is. 😅 Nothing wrong with that obviously, but it was a lot of fun to try something new and it felt incredible to be able to have a new chapter ready to go each week! ;w; 💜

We're almost done writing the fic and honestly idk what we're gonna do with all this free time once we've wrapped it up... time to come up with a new longfic ig LMAO

IF YOU MADE IT THIS FAR, HOORAY! 🎊

Here's a little bonus for you--

From the time I went to a gun range and shot both a rifle (near the head) and a shotgun (the spray by the stomach) and took notes so that we could use it in our fic JHGFDSKJHDF THE CRAZY RESEARCH WE'VE BOTH DONE FOR TAMN I STG 😂😂😂😂😂

[crimeboys]

e👀

alroight so this google doc is called spider, it's my spiderinnit fic. i've definitely talked about it before but it starts out basically like. tommy is this 16 year old highschooler living in a shit apartment with his best friend/brother wilbur who works at a newspaper. tommy's best friend tubbo works as a sort of scientist/intern at phil and techno's corporation thang that is funded by dream. tubbo is working on some spider venom bullshit to cure various life threatening diseases except every animal who's been injected with the venom erm... dies. horribly. badly. and then tommy finds the spiders and goes omggg spiders hiw epic. and gets bit. badly. so tubbo thinks he is going to fucking die. but he actually gets epic instead.

and so i've always thought that if tommy ever became a superhero he would tell tubbo and wilbur IMMEDIATELY. like he just couldnt help himself. so basically either the day they think tommy's dying or the day after (havent decided yet) wilbur knows.

and it's basically just like. tommy being a superhero!! having fun!! fighting crime and saving people!! wilbur still makes him go to school even though he's fucking cool as shit and can swing from rooftop to rooftop but Whatever.

i've also always had the hc that if tommy and wilbur were in a superhero situation and tommy got the powers, this would do Bad Things to wilbur bc he needs to be the specialest guy in the world. so basically what happens is that like.

okay i forgot to describe the spiders. so at the beginning of the story there are two, cat and mellohi. tommy is bitten by cat and keeps him as a little pal at he and wilbur's apartment. mellohi is still with tubbo at the lab, and wilbur starts like. breaking in and basically injecting himself with . milked spider venom. except wilbur doesnt know how to do all that, he doesnt know that when you milk a spider vomit comes out, so the powers are like. duller and he has to get a fix fairly often.

but basically he starts to pretend to be a hero known as the general who like. is a mentor figure to tommy. who btw TOMMY DOES NOT KNOW WILBUR IS DOING ALL OF THIS. wilbur's being insane all on his own. but wilbur also is?? not a fucking superhero he's newer to this than tommy so his mentoring is erm. not great but tommy thinks he's the coolest ever bc it's fuckin tommy and wilbur.

but yeah there are a few other major players in the story. there's pandas aka sapnap who is a hero and is supposed to be against vigilantes but fucks with tommy's vibe so they're friends. and there's the angel of death and the blade who are like vigilantes bordering villain. also wilbur's coworker quackity who becomes high ace later on. also dream who is mostly a background player in part one but becomes a whole lot more important in part two. also ranboo does something i dont fucking know.

the story is kind of uhhh. a mess. it's also one of the very few fics i've written where the crimeboys dynamic is a l'manburg dynamic rather than a post-pogtopia dynamic. so it's a bit. difficult for me to actually write LMAO. i've written a good chunk of chapter one though bc i just fucking love writing tommy be silly as shit.

this fic has a few parts but ive only really fleshed out the first part but this is basically how the first part ends.

and yeah. that's sort of a small rundown on the spiderinnit fic.

[maximwtf]

request for izzy hands x male or gn reader (romantic). reader is friends with calico jack (i luv will arnett so lets pretend calico is alive lmao). back on hornigold's ship, izzy, blackbeard, calico and reader were extremely close/ tight with one another. so yk how they hinted at calico and ed having relations w one another at some point? maybe that also happened with reader and izzy. like there has always been romantic tension between reader and izzy and they both acted upon it at some points but never really made anything official.

anyways, they each go their separate ways eventually. izzy going with ed and calico and reader being impulsive and crazy sons of bitches who just end up seeing wherever the sea takes them without any plans. years later, calico jack and reader reunite with ed and izzy (and now stede is there of course, as well as the rest of the crew). izzy and ed assumed reader to be dead for a very long time up until this point. idk just re-blossoming romance with izzy x a reader who is his complete opposite and is fucking crazy. first kiss possibly and idk i've never seen any fics where reader is friends with calico so! sorry if this is redundant or hard to read. english is not my first language. bonus points if reader can convince calico jack to take a bath (that man smells like shit 100%)

Izzy Hands x Reader

Words: 4k

Google Docs Pages: 6

Warnings: smoking, drinking, idiots in love fr, if you squint there’s some angst, mostly just fluffy banter idk I don’t usually write stuff like this :”D 

Opening: You go way back with Blackbeard, Calico Jack and Izzy Hands, all the way to the time you were a part of Hornigold’s crew. But eventually all nice things have to come to and end, and you all go your separate ways. You stick with Calico Jack and lose contact with Blackbeard, and Izzy whom you’d grown fond of. 

After a long time, you come across the two at Spanish Jackie'z, and realise that same old fondness never really disappeared. 

AN// Gn Reader! I meant to write this as a he/him, but I forgot xd. I’m so sorry this took me so long to make, omg :”D I got into so many other things after ofmd that I couldn’t bring myself to write the rest of the requests, but aye I’m here again and as good as new! (or maybe not, maybe I forgot how to write for these characters.) Anyway, I’ve had time to let this one brew. I’ve loved the idea since it came in, had lots of fun with this !!

Anyway I wanted to write this before I get Baldur's Gate 3, just in case I want to start writing for that and postpone these even more :”D So enjoy the last Izzy request I had left!! <3

“A light that never goes out.”

As famous as the ship of Hornigold’s might have been, life as a part of the crew was not the easiest. Hornigold wasn’t afraid of threatening his crew, nor was he playing around when he did so. You’d seen how he treated the young cabin boys on board, like disposable toys. And maybe he did have more respect for the older crew members, but that did not save you from the overly hard work and stress of the captain acting on his threats. Which you knew he would do with no problem and most likely with a smile on his face. 

So what did you do to get through your days on a ship like this? You drank with the fleet. And that you were doing now, knowing there wasn’t anything to be done for the day. The sun had already set and the sea calmed down to rest for the night.

An oil lamp on the table was providing some light, otherwise the space was rather murky. An empty rum bottle had fallen on its side in the middle of the table, a freshly opened one going across the table, person to person. There wasn’t any to waste, though you played around with the thought of sharing being caring.  

Calico Jack sat on the other side of the table from you, Edward closest to him. You watched the bottle being passed between them, the noise of Izzy moving ever so slightly behind you bringing you back from your thoughts. This allowed you to pick up on the topic of the conversation. Jack and Edward complaining about the captain, Jack clearly a little more buzzed based on his speech. You flashed them a lazy smile, agreeing with what they were saying that way. Not joining the conversation since the two of them seemed to be so deep into it. But it was nothing unusual. Usually as the night went on the two of them would continue to converse, leaving you and Izzy to the sidelines to do your own thing and jump in on the topic when you felt like it. But neither of you minded that, usually finding the silence comfortable or conversing with each other silently. He was pleasant to talk to, even if you knew he wasn’t so fond of Jack and his behaviour that had rubbed off on you over time. Though, you tried to keep it at bay when with him.  

You leaned back on your chair, stretching your arms. The action allowed you to see Izzy as he pulled a packet of cigarettes from his pocket. You gave him a look, not asking for anything but hoping he got the idea. And he did, he always did. Which you were glad of, since asking to come for a smoke with him felt like you’d turned into a begging puppy. Knowing the next time you or anyone else would get their hands on some more was unknown. 

So you excused yourself, leaving for the main deck with him. Not going far, near the railing. You leaned against the gunwale, eyes fixated on the light waves hitting the hull. Izzy followed suit, leaning his elbow on the gunwale before lighting the cigarette he was holding. He took the first drag from it before offering it to you. Of course he did, he never gave you your own. That would have been a waste of the small amount you each had, but that did not stop you from complaining about it. “Leftovers?” You raised your brows a little, still taking the cigarette from him. “Better for yer health,” was what he usually went with, like this time as well. “Fuck off,” you replied with a chuckle and took a slow drag. He didn’t say anything to that, turning his eyes to the water as well. 

You didn’t dare to smoke much of what he had left, handing the cigarette back to him. The silence around the two of you wasn’t awkward or uncomfortable, but you felt the need to break it. Something of the way Jack and Edward had been conversing had sparked the interest of talking within you as well. “You ever thought of leaving? Finding another ship to board?” You asked, curious of his answer to be truthful. Because you had, multiple times in fact. You weren’t even sure of the reason for your extended stay. Was it for the trio you hung around? Or was it the threats you feared? You had not a clue, but perhaps if he had thought of the same thing you could push yourself over the edge of leaving as well. “Hornigold may be half insane, but I’ll follow Ed. Doubt we’ll die here, but he won’t stay here forever.” The man next to you replied, taking a rather long drag from the cigarette before lowering his hand and blowing the smoke into the cool sea air. You hummed, tilting your head in understanding. Though, you couldn’t pass up an opportunity to tease the man. So you turned to look at him, pouting as you raised your eyebrows. “Oh?” Was all you had to say for his expression to drop, noticing the way you’d abandoned the initial topic purely for this. “Fuck off, rapscallion. You know what I meant,” he said but you counted on his tone of voice when deciding if he was truly annoyed with you or not. Of which you chose the latter. “What? You’re even pining for him now when you’re up here.” You laughed, following as he shook his head with a disappointed look as he stumped the cigarette. “I’m not going to start this with you,” Izzy mumbled as he turned his eyes back on you. Now clearly a little more annoyed but you said nothing of it, wanting to see where this would go. 

Izzy turned to leave, retreat from the situation. But you had your hopes up, in the sense that you didn’t want for him to leave yet but also hoped that he’d tell you if there was actually something going on. For the sake of your feelings. Which you weren’t going to admit you had for anyone, unless he spoke first. So you took a light hold of the fabric of his shirt, giving him space to leave if he wanted to. But he didn’t. “Come on, ye getting lily-livered on me? Was I right?” You dared to ask, maybe pushing the situation a little far but you took the risk. Though it didn’t seem like he was going to leave, at the very least. He opened his mouth, closing it soon after. Seemingly frustrated. But you saw something else within that initial emotion, hesitation was some of it. Something that had appeared when his back was turned to you earlier. When he thought you wouldn’t notice. 

“Well?” You hummed, an amused look on your face even with the slight anxiety building up within you. His eyes darted across the empty main deck before landing back on you. A sigh left him, pursed his lips in whatever emotion he was feeling at that point. It only making you wonder if you’d gone too far this time.

With a swift motion he placed a hand on your waist, enough to make you land against the gunwale, kissing you rather roughly. A gasp escaped you, eyes widening for a short moment before responding to the action. Something in his manner changed at your response, pulling away slowly and with more calculated movements. It was only when his hand left your waist that you took a breath, blinking at him as your mind tried to come up with anything to say. He didn’t seem to have a grasp on the current situation either, though he had a response in mind for what you’d been waiting for earlier. “Ye never are,” he said before heading back down to Jack and Edward. Leaving you out on the main deck for quite a while before being able to return as well. Only to not speak of that moment openly for a long time after. 

But that was years ago. And after that night and the many more you experienced, the fun came to an end. You all went your separate way, as much as you didn’t like the idea of splitting up in such a manner. But there was no avoiding it. So you chose to stay with Jack, seeing as you had known him for the longest and got along with him the easiest. And as much as he already had seemed like the obvious choice, it also seemed that he did not mind you tagging along with him one bit. 

And there had begun you and his long lasting journey to nowhere. You were finally free of Hornigold’s threats and work, having time to do as you pleased and go where you wanted. And so Calico Jack and you sailed with ships from place to another, keeping from trouble the best you could. Well, from time to time it seemed as if you were keeping him from trouble but at the end of the day it kept the both of you on the safer road. 

But this specific night, you were in the Republic of Pirates. Spanish Jackie'z had become a place the two of you would go to any time you were staying there, and that tradition was not broken this time either. 

The lights were dim where you were seated, at the corner. Not a table Jack would have chosen, but you preferred it. You liked retreating to it if things started getting too rowdy in your opinion, knowing no one would be looking for you in the shaded corners of the tavern. And that was exactly what you were doing now. Observing the people and the conversations happening around you while Jack was causing a commotion somewhere in the crowd. 

And all of that went along how it always did, nothing out of the ordinary. Well, until pirates you didn’t recognize straight away came in. A well groomed man in a fancy clean suit caught your attention first, causing you to furrow your brows in a mix of confusion and interest. He didn’t seem to belong, catching the attention of the other regulars you’d gotten to know over time. With him was a more dark figure, black clothing which blended him in with the rest of the crowd. Or would have if he wasn’t walking so closely to the fancy fellow. The thought made you giggle. But not for long, as your mind started to race when you saw the third party with them, a shorter man. Because the sight of him jogged your memory, made you shake your head to make sure you’d seen correctly. To not get too excited if you’d just been imagining things. But you hadn’t, it was him. And if that was true, the other man must have been Edward. 

Your eyes stayed on Izzy, blinking as the noise from the crowd blended into the background. As if a static had taken over your thoughts. You thought of going over, surprising him perhaps? But you hadn't the time to act on the thought. All the noise suddenly returning as Jack made his way to Edward, almost clinging to the man’s neck. A slight smile making its way to your face, a nostalgic one. Though, you feared what the good old combination of the two would mean for the new fellow. But for now, Edward seemed to be introducing your mate to the man, so you felt at ease with leaving Jack with them. Surely he’d behave….

Your eyes returned to Izzy, finding the man staring at you just as you had done to him. An awkward smile tried to creep its way to your face, feeling the urge to go up to him and have a drink. But the man seemed as if he wanted nothing to do with the place, as that he would have already left if it hadn’t been for you. So you stare back at him, nod your head towards the door he’d just entered from. A subtle invitation for a smoke which you didn’t have, but he didn’t know that when he nodded back at you, accepting the offer. 

So you got up, made your way outside where he had escaped as soon as possible. You took a breath to prepare for a talk, but he beat you to it. “How you are still alive, I cannot say,” he hums, demeanour much calmer than before. His form leaned against a wall, a lot less tense eyes travelled to you. Giving him a chuckle you tilt your head. “Jack is who he is, but he would never-” But it took the mere look he gave you to not finish that sentence. Not what he had meant. “That man may be half insane, but I figured you’d gotten yourself killed elsewhere by now.” He explains, eyes focused on a rum bottle he was opening, figuring out he wasn’t going to get a smoke from you. “Hah! You’d have to find something deadlier than a lead marble to take me down,” you laugh as you take the bottle he was offering. “Though, I’m not sure I can keep dodging the bullet that is an unbathed Jack…” You mumble with a careful expression before taking a swig, earning a low chuckle from Izzy. The angle allowed you to see his face better, confirming that he seemed to be in a better mood. Not as grumpy looking perhaps. But you said nothing of that, letting him off the hook this once. 

The evening starts to resemble a night soon enough, making you and Izzy start to drift over to the shore. At some point, you notice Edward, Jack and the new guy follow, joining in. You wanted to stay longer, to get to know the new man better and to get to talk to Edward as well, but Izzy seemed oddly annoyed with the company getting bigger. So you share a few drinks with them, learn that the name of the man was Stede Bonnet and go your separate ways. 

Separate ways, as in you and Izzy walked over to the jolly boat and waited for the rest of the group to be done with their chatter. Though, it seemed an awful lot like that wasn’t happening any time soon. But while observing the three of them from afar, you noticed that while Stede didn’t seem to be the biggest fan of Calico Jack and the effect he was having on Edward, there was something different in his eyes when he looked at the two of you. 

The man who was now laughing with Ed might have rubbed off on you in the years you’d known him and as much as Stede disliked the persona, something in his chest warmed up when he saw Izzy follow you around. The way he didn’t disturb your rants, listened if not always so keenly and chose to hang around. Because that was something Stede hadn’t seen Izzy do willingly with anyone but Edward. And something about that made the man take peeks at the two of you sitting together, happy for Izzy in his own way. Izzy might have not liked him, but Stede never wanted to make enemies, so perhaps this was good for the self isolated man. 

But you knew nothing of those intentions. Only that his staring was putting you off, not sure what it was about. You could see there was no malice in his eyes. So you couldn’t blame him for staring, for you had been doing that exact same thing to Izzy just back at the bar. But perhaps for different reasons, to which even you hadn’t really given into. It couldn’t be, because all the years at sea should have washed away any previous feelings. There shouldn’t be anything left but an empty table to start over from. A kind of erosion caused by separation. But that thought was too deep to dig into right now. 

You couldn’t quite hear what the three further away were planning, having seated yourself in the boat. Izzy leaning against the head of the small vessel, bottle in hand. The sounds of seagulls far off in the distance, in town. They didn’t bother to come to the shore so late into the night, knowing there was still food to steal where people were buzzed and forgetful. 

“Suppose we’re tagging along.” You start off in order to break the silence which had crept over the two of you. Izzy swirled the liquid in the bottle, raising his gaze over to the sea. “Ain’t that the fucking dream,” he replied but it seemed he mostly meant your companion, not you. But that didn’t prevent you from acting offended. “Don’t pretend like you didn’t miss me at all,” you laugh, the sound of it clearing any doubts from you being tipsy. “Never said I didn’t, ye made that up.” Izzy is quick to answer, allowing himself to drink the leftovers from the bottle, seeing as you’d already had your share and above. You pout at the sight, drawing in a breath. “Hm, maybe I should have been an author after all in that case.” You raised your brows, amused. “Can ye even read?” He asks, eyes back on you. The question receives a chuckle from you before you shake your head. Your drunken mind wanted to say, ‘no, but I can read the tension between us’, but something in you decided against it. Perhaps another time. 

Another moment of silence surrounds the two of you, and for a moment you think you were able to hear the conversation of the three men further up the shore. In reality you should have been a psychic of sorts to have been able to hear them through the sounds of the light waves hitting the stern of the boat.

You smile to yourself, thinking of something to say. “I see yer boyfriend got taken in the end?” You hum, mostly amused but in truth you did want to know if that was what had happened. The question gets Izzy to turn to you swiftly, but the tone of his reply is not affected by it. “He’s still rubbing off on ye. Suppose it’s better you’re tagging along, we’ll get you back on fuckin’ track.” He shakes his head in a disapproving manner, but you see the hint of amusement after his own reply. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” you insist. Perhaps he was right, but what else could you have done? You’d been with that menace of a man for years, it was only a matter of time until you would have become a copy of him. Well so you had feared. “Was welcomin’ ye back,” Izzy explains himself. But you had already caught on, just felt the need to be difficult. “So you did miss me, hah!” You chuckle, a little louder than you intended. Perhaps wanting the confirmation more for yourself than anything. In hopes that the earlier thought of erosion had just been a figment of imagination. But the comment only gains a look from Izzy, getting you to lower your voice. 

You drag yourself to a better sitting position, leaning towards the man a little. The bottle in his hand was clearly already empty, yet he attempted to take a swig from it. Perhaps to put out something within him, maybe to get out of the awkward environment you insisted on creating to amuse yourself. But in that moment you let any logical thought go. Taking a gentle hold of his wrist, enough to let him pull away is he so pleased. Yet tight enough to pull him towards you. A test of sorts, to see if he was up for it. To try and light a spark once more, see if it would catch fire this time around. And it takes him quite a while to decide, reluctant. Yet, with a swift motion he kisses you. Giving in to your almost childish suggestion. But that was what lit the spark once more, the same feeling from the past returning. As quick as he had been to pull away, you could have sworn the nostalgic feeling of it all lingered in the air. 

His eyes were focused on you, a hint of fear in them. You couldn’t understand why, almost coming up with a conclusion as to what you had done wrong. Had you taken too tight of a hold of him? Did he regret what he’d done? Wish to take the action back? It scared you. But you weren’t going to let him see that, instead offering the frightened man a smile. Maybe it eased his mind on the matter, leaving more of a conflicted look on his face. 

You let your mind at ease with the thought of all the years that had passed. What did you know of where he’d been and what trouble had he faced? Perhaps he would tell you one day if you stayed a while longer. But right now, it seemed as if he’d been craving for such attention from someone, yet never received it. And if that was the case, you wanted to be a source of that for him. 

But that train of thought was interrupted early on by a gasp. Not the kind you’d hear when someone was frightened or surprised, but the sweet kind. The kind you hear when someone gets something they didn’t expect. The sound was soon covered up, but you had already spotted the source of it. Stede. You’d seen his eyes leave the two of you, furrowing your brows in a mix of confusion and interest. The man seemed oddly invested in the two of you, but for some reason tried to hide it. You weren’t sure if it was for his or Izzy’s sake, but you were sure Izzy had heard it as well. 

As you keep watching, the others swiftly turn to Stede. Not worried, but alerted by the gasp. “Perhaps we should head back. I had something left to do,” the man speaks and this time loud enough that even you can hear it. You can almost also hear the awkwardness in his tone, hoping neither of the men had noticed him staring. Earned a chuckle from you. You watch as Stede gathers himself from the sand, the others getting up as well with questioning looks. You turn back to Izzy. He had definitely heard the gasp as well, but the annoyance from it hadn’t affected him nearly as much as the kiss. Which you found endearing, glad that it hadn’t ruined it for him even if he seemed to have some kind of silent banter with Stede. 

The three men walk up to the jolly boat. You smirk, seeing Jack wobble a little on his feet as they get to the waterline. You got up to meet him, not aware of your own tipsy state and managed to tumble forward a little. So much for the sea legs as you feel Izzy grab the back of your shirt to steady you again. Though he doesn’t hold on for long as he catches up on your intent, allowing you to wobble against Jack, pushing him just enough that he lands into the water. Only, if it hadn’t been for Izzy you would have gone down with him. 

But with his help you had succeeded, laughing as the man groaned in the shallow water, throwing playful curses at you. “Not before you bathe. You reek.” You say, as if you’d grown some standards after hearing Izzy complain of your companion’s personality sticking to you. You hadn’t but perhaps you wanted to pretend you had, for Izzy. 

You give Stede a slight giggle, watching the man step away from the splashed water. Only then noticing how the splash had wet your clothes as well, giving a grumble about it. Though it was all in good fun. “After he’s clean, we’ll set sail,” you give them a firm nod. 

You watch as Jack collects himself from the water, seemingly trying to pull Edward in as well. You smile at them in amusement, the nostalgic feeling creeping back up. Even with the fancier fellow tagging along, it felt like a puzzle being put back together. And you hoped that it would last a little longer this time, not having to go your separate ways again. Because even one night was able to prove to you that you had missed them. Missed the banter, seeing Calico Jack and Edward together and mostly Izzy. And the spark that had lit up once more hoped that Izzy felt the same way. At least about you. 

[lovelyelbowleech]

All's Fair is incredible! I am on my third re-read and it is just as much of an emotional gutpunch as it was the first time. The emotional impact sneaks up on me every time, even when I know what's coming. It blows my mind how carefully woven everything is. Even just small characterizing details that help make the characters and situations feel so real. You also have a way of writing that flows so smoothly with the emotions each character is feeling, like I don't know how to describe it but it's so well-paced and descriptive and I can picture and feel everything when reading it both from the characters POV and also in a more objective sense at the same time, which is extremely difficult to pull off in my opinion. It is insane to me how easy you make it seem with your writing.

Another thing, too, is that this doesn't even really feel like an alternate universe. It's like you shifted one thing in the beginning with a little flick and we're seeing the ripple effects of that play out naturally, as though you're just sitting back and reporting your findings instead of crafting an entirely new story from thin air. Everyone is so in character that I can hear their voices in every line. Even your OCs feel 'In character' even though you literally created them for the story lmao?? Like I actually forget they're not canon characters sometimes.

ANYWAY- I got sidetracked. my intention for this ask was to actually ask how you pictured some of your characters in more detail. I want to draw art of my favorite scenes and am trying to compile little snippets of character appearances, particularly of Guo, Yuxuan, and Haoyu. I have sincerely contemplated starting a google doc to catalogue all the little details of every character, even the minor ones, like a Pokémon deck I can flip open and consult whenever I want to refresh my memory.

Thank you so much for such a lovely comment, it was wonderful to wake up to! I am glad you are enjoying the fic so much (enough for a reread or two even!) There is some really high praise there, and it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy 😂❤️

It is always very exciting when folk say they want to draw art of the fic (even if its just for themselves!) So I will try to add a more detailed description to the character description page I have somewhere. There is not too much in the way of description of the OC's in the actual fic - and there is certainly no wrong way to depict them in art! What is in the fic is not hugely detailed 😂 but a very brief collection of the descriptions would be:

Guo: Short and stocky, facial hair, and a wide craggy face. Big broad hands. Hair currently short (post East Lake) gruff and grumpy to look at.

Haoyu: on the shorter side of average, about 18, round face, green eyes and dark brown hair, currently cut short (post East Lake). Very earnest and open looking face (which has been used to get him out of trouble more than once)

Yuxuan: a year or two older than Haoyu, long dark brown/black hair and honey coloured eyes. Good looking, and has a certain amount of rakish charm.

I am not sure if that is helpful or not! I will try to update the character sheet with additional OC's this week if I can. And thank you again for the wonderful ask!

[valeriianz]

fic talk! yay! tagged by @beatnikfreakiswriting and @hardly-an-escape <3

How many wips do you have currently?

okay, let's be reasonable about this (lol). WIPs that im currently working on, only 4. don't- hey! don't look into my Google Docs! ignore all those files. sometimes i like to jot a sentence or idea down, that doesn't mean it's an active WIP! that also doesn't mean they are abandoned. they are just... marinating. snoozing. biding their time.

Which one are you finding the hardest to finish? Why do you think that is?

oh geez, probably Savory & Sweet. it's so silly because the first chapter of that flew out of me. it was so fun to write and its a verse i definitely revisit from time to time... and technically the first chapter works as a stand alone- i don't need to write a follow up. but after i had posted it, i really had every intention to write more. but for some reason the motivation to actually sit down and write it out is fleeting. but it's a year old at this point and i just want. it. FINISHED!

What does it usually look like when inspiration strikes for you?

it never strikes when i want it to, firstly. never when im sitting down and writing. it sometimes comes when i dont have access to a pen and paper or my phone- like riding my bike or in the shower, so whatever great idea/line of dialogue/scene that pops into my head in that moment, i repeat in my head over and over until i can finally scramble to get it hastily written down lmao. but it is very random... and usually strikes when im alone and in my own head, doing nothing in particular.

Do you curate playlists for each fic or is your process different?

no. and i write in absolute silence as well. lyrics distract me and music has never spoken to me that way- not enough to influence writing at least. of course the big exception is Bolt in the Blue lmao. but i think it makes sense that im making playlists for that fic. (oh and i made one for Let Me Down Easy as well... but these two fics have literally been the only times in my entire fanfic history that i've made playlists haha)

Do you go balls to the wall and write as you go or are you more organised?

for the moooost part i have a bit of organization, even if it's a few scattered notes. i learned my lesson quite late about making sure to at least have an ending in mind before i start writing and publishing (to be very real with y'all, the reason the dreamling Road Trip au hasn't gotten off the ground yet is because i can't think of a good ending for it). that being said though, once i do have an ending sorted out, my writing process is basically chaos. sometimes plot points or arcs will change entirely... which is a little scary, but as long as i can keep my ending the same, fuck it.

tagging, no obligation/tag me in existing posts: @issylra @delta-pavonis @valiantstarlights @tj-dragonblade

[theonekrafter]

Hey! I just recently found your Magneto fic and I am absolutely obsessed. Any updates coming in the future?

i’m super glad you enjoyed magneto! this ask has gotten me to finally put a discontinued in the description of magneto. it’s not at ALL because of you in particular, but i’ve realized by putting off adding it to the description i’ll keep giving people false hope. forgive me if i use this ask for a tediously long post describing why exactly i will never update magneto, so i can link it easily for anyone with similar questions in the future. 😭

so. short answer? no. magneto will probably never be updated. i’m really sorry for that. my interests have changed since graduating high school and i don’t really want to write bnha anymore.

long answer?

i started writing magneto pre-pandemic during my junior year of high school. i had seen there was only about a 100 self inserts for bnha at the time and thought “well, if i post something it’ll probably get a lot of attention, since the fandom is growing in popularity a lot and there’s a scarcity here!” 2019 was an interesting year for fanfic in bnha, since it didn't have enough content for the growing eyes looking for it.

i ended up being very correct. too correct. i actively updated magneto over the course of half a year, roughly, and in that time it rapidly climbed in attention. since 2020 ive only updated it about twice(?) and that hasn’t deterred the new readers it’s gotten. i get comments every other day asking about updates.

magneto is currently the most kudo-ed bnha si-oc on the entirety of ao3. which is fucking insane. i don’t think it deserves it, but popularity is rarely about deserving. usually it’s about being just good enough, just novel enough, and being posted at the right time.

but i digress: it doesn’t feel possible for me to update magneto for a variety of reasons.

1) my disinterest in the setting would make any future update disingenuous.

i haven’t been actively into the bnha fandom in about four years now. i don’t really read bnha fic aside from the very occasional si-oc, nor have i kept up with the manga or anime. the only fic i’ve ever written for the fandom is magneto, and it’ll probably always be my only fic for the fandom. (watch me say that and be wrong in the next few years LMAO)

it would be really rude of me to stomp into a space i don’t even like anymore and post something lackluster and lacking in passion. especially with the express intention of gaining more engagement from readers. like it or not, magneto IS the most popular si for bnha, and i think i drive attention away from better books by updating and inadvertently preserving that position in the ranking.

I can't believe no one has written any "self-insert as Bakugou" fanfics yet what a bunch of cowards by the_incidental_author and i have jostled back and forth for that #1 kudo-ed spot for the past five years. which i admit has been fun, but i would very much like for them to overtake me. it’s clear (to me, at least) that they actually enjoy writing bnha more than me and update more often to boot.

i fully welcome ANY fic to take magneto's position at this point, if only so that less people comment how poorly written it is. which leads me into my next point.

2) my writing style has SIGNIFICANTLY changed over the past five years.

when i do my yearly reread of magneto i actively cringe and have to resist the urge to rewrite every chapter in a separate google doc. in any hypothetical world where i do add to magneto, i do a complete rewrite. in no particular order, the things i would change are:

kenzo being defined by three character traits and nothing else. her exhaustion, her mild spite for her father, and her aimless wandering through the plot

better grammar. dear god the grammar errors. dear god the SPELLING ERRORS

the pov characters being more developed and feeling more like Individual People with their own personal motivations and histories that are not defined by what the plot needs from them (cough, reacting to how cool kenzo is)

not just recapping each anime episode and stating what kenzo would do in that situation

placing greater focus on the way quirk society discriminates against those with undesirable quirks and backgrounds. what does it really mean to be the child of a criminal in a world where people assume that sort of thing is hereditary?

kenzo's classmates should've been more classist in general, especially in relation to quirk discrimination. UA is a school only the most wealthy and powerful get into, there's no way there wouldn't be social disconnects that create tension between a dead eyed daughter of a villain and more than a few nepo babies.

if you have any interest in naruto, skyrim, asoiaf or dragon age you've probably read my more recent fics. fluffy clouds and a tinge of wonder, the fic i have updated the most this year, is a really good example of how significantly my writing has evolved since starting magneto in 2019. my technical skill and style have changed enough that it just would be tonally jarring for me to update magneto without outright rewriting everything.

like. im being so fr with you right now, i didn't learn how to start outlining until about a YEAR AGO. magneto was written on a chapter by chapter basis with little idea of where exactly it was going. i implied that there would be a future confrontation between kenzo and her father, but i didn't have any idea of HOW that would occur or even what the consequences of it would be.

adding to magneto as it is would be like trying to add a sleeve to a shirt that's missing it's entire back panel and most of it's front. i'd be playing catch up with the plot and end up having to rewrite previous chapters anyways.

3) bnha commentors have been kind of really mean to me compared to other fandoms i've written for LMAO

ok. please don't draw and quarter me for this. MOST commentors have been extremely complimentary, and kind. besides the occasional bomb of like seven comments in my inbox of ten hearts from one user (which, sweet, but please don't do that) the bnha fandom has been totally fine.

but a very small minority have been really pushy about making me update a fic i have clearly not touched in two years, and realistically haven't actively updated in four. from comments just saying "wow this is great. update soon." to DETAILED reviews of how bad my fic is and how they can't believe how garbage like magneto is so popular.

which like. i don't feel personally attacked by? i fully agree that magneto is bad for the previously stated reasons. i wouldn't read magneto if i were a casual reader and hadn't written it. usually the second kind of comment really annoys me because of it's presumption of importance and for how soul crushing it would have been for sixteen-year-old me to read.

bnha as a fandom, especially in recent years, has felt more and more like they treat fic like something that is created in a vacuum. souless content that exists for readers to consume. the comments don't go to an inbox, they go to a void, so really it doesn't matter if i say something really belligerent to an author i don't know about a Self Insert Fanfic They Wrote In Between Rehearsals For Their High School Play.

but whatever. if it had just been me experiencing that i would've written it off as like just my fic, but a close friend and frequent cowriter of mine Reavv has dealt with this a lot more than me.

they wrote It's a like a time travel comedy, without the comedy, another very popular bnha fic, and had to private it because people were going to their other UNRELATED fics and badgering them to update it. people still go into their comments insisting they unprivate it, oblivious to the fact that every time they ask it adds another year to reavv's internal timer for when they will.

a combination of my own experiences and reavv's have completely put me off of writing bnha i'll be fr. even if i was still in the fandom, the majority of my fics will always be about fucking dragon age and skyrim. i do not want random bnha fans coming into my dragon age fics and, AFTER NOT READING THE FIC, saying that since im active i should clearly update my bnha fics. that's a nightmare scenario for me.

in conclusion

i am so glad that people like magneto, i'm glad that i wrote magneto. the initial jump in readers i got from magneto gave me the confidence to write other fics, and the alternating pov format is a staple of most of my writing now. some of the comments i got for that magneto when i was a teenager were the only things that kept my ass going.

but magneto is never being updated. i don't even think it's gonna be rewritten. i really am sorry about that, but it is what it is. thank you for reading it, thank you for loving it, thank you for feeling ambivalent about it. good talk.

btw to the original asker, again. this is NOT a rant directed at you, you just inspired some Thoughts in me and i had to let them loose.

[skibasyndrome]

Fingers crossed for a productive day and these as a little carrot for afterwards:

✑ (for your first YR baby), ✦, ♡ (for It's in the water, baby)

Now go be awesome and ace that thesis!

Joooo 💜💜💜 This one has been sitting in my askbox for a while, so sorry about that, but hey! I guess you can take some credit for being one of the dangling carrots that got me through it 💜 no we're not thinking about how that sounds

For It seems a place for us to dream:

✑ PROCESSING: pick a fic and I’ll tell you what it was like to write it!

kind of like... a very high-emotions-induced frenzy? 😅😅😅 No, but for real. I saw that first (three second? five second?) clip of s3 and it completely took hold of me to the point where I was like.... what is this strange feeling... I have nooooot felt this way in YEARS???? Am I about to..... write again!?!??!?! And after I'd realized that, well... clearly this isn't going to leave me alone anytime soon and I already have portions of sentences flying around in my mind I sat down and wrote half of it, then wrote the second half the next day (I think we got the rest of the clip the next day?). I was wildly typing away on my google doc in a way I hadn't done in yeeeaaars and it was like I was possessed by those couple seconds, lmao.

It's not necessarily a fic I still like a lot, but I'm glad that it was my way back into creative writing, so that's cool!

✦ what was your easiest fic to write & your hardest?

Hmmm, easiest is kind of hard to say! I think writing Close, Closer was easy in the sense that I just... started typing and didn't really stop and never looked back and it was a fic(let) that I wrote with the knowledge that it didn't have to be perfect, because it was so spontaneous and short. I general I feel like all those shorter snippets (like the not-5-sentence-fics) are easier for me because my inner critic isn't quite as loud for those. But another one that came to me like in a frenzy and felt very good while writing was Lavender Haze, my forever beloved. I wrote that one soooo quickly and I genuinely had so much fun doing it.

Hardest to write was without a doubt Never Letting You Go for a couple of reasons that made the process very difficult, frustrating and not a great time for me and my trust in myself. Took quite a long time to get back from that one.

For It's in the water, baby (I don't know which one of the heart asks you meant, so I'm answering both, haha)

♡ pick a fic and I’ll pick a comment that made me really happy

Easy! @purplehoodiesandclementines complimenting my Wille POV and saying "It all feels so THEM! So much so that I'm taking all of this as canon for now, until proven otherwise" made me smile for days and weeks and still makes me smile whenever I randomly remember it 💜

♡ SMALL THINGS: pick a fic and I’ll tell you my favorite minor detail from it!

Idk if this necessarily counts as a minor detail, but I like the way Wille still briefly thinks about the video and how it affected Simon, but Simon then proves to him that right there, with him, he feels safe.

“It’s just us,” Simon says gently, and shoots Wilhelm a smile as he unbuttons his pants. Wilhelm briefly wonders when everything turned out this way, when they arrived at this level of comfort and confidence. Wonders when Simon started being able to exist so freely again, out here, no curtains, no doors, no walls. “Are you worrying about me or is this you being uncomfortable?” Simon asks, reaching out his hands to grab Wilhelm’s. Wilhelm suspects Simon's got some sort of psychic abilities that he hasn’t come clean about yet. Or maybe it’s them . He sighs, feeling a bit of the tension leave his shoulders as soon as Simon touches him.  “Because I’m fine, you know? No one’s been here all afternoon.” Simon smiles warmly.

Ask me questions about my fics if you feel like! <3 here or here

[eliteseven]

Do you have any more headcanon or posts for Baby Jen? I can't wait until she's in the story!

Me too! It'll be fun to have a sassy mini Shadowheart being a spitfire and being too cute to handle, running around the cottage. She won't be making any appearances until after the wedding (which she is VERY pissed that she wasn't invited to, when she finds out a good few years later 😅 )

I don't have much else on her rn, even my master hc google doc is dry lmao

but consider the following, while you wait:

-Baby Jen being SO like Shadowheart in her habits and mannerisms that she inadvertently starts triggering old memories for Shadowheart? Memories on the very fringes of Shadowheart's mind, from her childhood, coming back to her suddenly when she sees Jen giggling and trying to catch frogs outside, or getting lifted by Arnell to pet the horses... What a gift. She gets her own memories back through Baby Jen's love of life and shared idiosyncrasies.

-Jen giving Emmeline a new lease on life. She even said to Tav at one point, her family is "smaller than she would've liked"- and Jen's arrival probably rejuvenates her so much. She has genuine light and recognition in her eyes. She wants to hold on longer because of this baby, to be there for her and Shadowheart, to allow herself precious moments that were stolen from her.

-Jen asking Shadowheart to conjure light for her. She looks at Shadowheart like she's Selune herself. Jen also loves to watch them spar (they obviously pull their punches and usually end up in a laughing heap on the floor, at which point Jen body slams them affectionately bc she wants to be included 🥺) Shadowheart and Tav are heroes, to her. She never feels afraid when they're both around.

-Shads waking from a cloister nightmare to the soft giggles of Jen and Serena, trying to be quiet, but failing miserably as they try to surprise Shadowheart with breakfast. The nightmare is instantly forgotten, and Shadowheart can't believe this is her life now. She eats what's possibly the worst breakfast ever with a grin on her face, spoon fed by chubby wobbly toddler hands and an inquisitive "how's it taste, momma?" every 3 seconds. She has tears of joy in her eyes. Tav makes it up to her with an actually edible lunch 😅

-Bonus: Toddler Jen making Serena and Shads re-stage their wedding so she can be in it. She thinks it's all about her. They don't have the heart to break it to her. They've been "married" 67 times now. Arnell and Emmeline fall asleep during the ceremony. It's a hoot.

-bonus bonus: teenager Jen being a menace in high society??? She begs Serena to pull strings and get them invites to all the fancy Baldurian banquets and balls. She raids their closet for the occasion, gathers all sorts of gossip while she’s there, and frequently gets in trouble at these events. Probably even starts a fight, once 😅 probably for good reason. Jen is going to be so much fun.

[tigerdrop]

Hii... Ummm with the hl...2...vrai (spaced so it doesn't show up in search) announcement I wanted to thank you because when the original series came out your fics helped me come to terms with a lot of things, and so did the way you were treated for them, for which I'm so, so incredibly sorry. I know it's been years but it's still fucked up regardless that you were harrassed so bad over some porn.

It kinda opened my eyes to how toxic fandoms can really be. Not that I was totally ignorant, but I had only ever been in really big fandoms before, so when I was into something this... niche? (I don't know if that's the right word LOL) it felt like any small amount of drama and discourse was massive.

It also made me realise that the people I called friends weren't really good people. The amount of harrassment and hatred they spread over some smutty fanfiction was horrific and honestly made me kind of scared of them. If they'd known I was consuming it they would have made google docs callout posts LMAO, but I was too scared to leave them because I didn't have any other friends at the time. I'm doing a lot better now with friends who are little freaks like meee :)

You had a big impact on how I view online communities and fanart/fanfiction, and I thank you for that. My general experience on webbed sites has been a lot more enjoyable.

I hope you're doing okay, and have a good rest of your year! 💜

i think the previous anon i got might be happier with their life if they also stopped caring about what total strangers might think about them. im glad ur hanging out with normal people now. happy to be of service o7

[peachesofteal]

bro.... dead disco.... sorry this is like. really long lmao. I actually cut it down! It was 3 pages in google docs originally lmfao. you’ve broken me

i cried. i had my sad playlist on already and 'jacob and the stone' was playing..... BAWLING!!! go listen to it and then imagine reading when she and simon were just sitting, quietly holding eachother, knowing it was gonna be for the last time, while listening to THAT 😭😭😭

you did such a magnificent job with this chapter. no better way to end it. sorry 2 the haters but im gonna go out and say that this WAS a happy ending! Bittersweet of course, but it was the best ending we could have hoped for darling to get. yea, they didn't end up together but thats NOT the 'bad' ending! I think it would’ve been the ‘bad’ ending if she didn’t leave, and never gave herself the opportunity to grow as a person and flourish under her own making, and either left later with many more years invested or just perpetually stayed in this cycle. leaving is so hard and it takes a tremendous amount of strength, yall. like.... she did it 🥹 she's gonna get better, even if it has to be without her boys at her side

thinking back to their entire dynamic, darling was only happy and healthy when they were there with her. it never gave her a fighting chance. she DID benefit from being with them, knowing such sweet boys and experiencing being loved so deeply, but i do feel like she outgrew the relationship in a way. 

she's kinda like a tomato plant. it can't properly grow without scaffolding, but its back in the dirt when you yank it off the stakes. it can never flourish. The boys got tomato-darling out of the dirt for a bit, but she needed new scaffolding that wasn't dependent on things (or people) that wouldn't always be there. to keep growing, the structure had to be built herself. it gives her a new level of control and confidence and pride i think, not having to rely on outside help, knowing you have the means to take care of your own base needs (not that support is bad! but it was dependence)

for what its worth too, i think the secrets they kept (the marriage thing, the one night stand that was actually 2 nights, the 'secret' conversations they had with just a glance that she was never entirely privy to) were also something that perpetually kept her 'othered' in  the relationship, and thats REALLY hard to overcome. i dont think the boys quite had the awareness they thought they had to give this relationship a fair shot, since they didn't seem to see from her perspective why that would be so difficult for a partner until the end (even then, i think johnny still lacked the insight that this is how she felt every single time they left for deployments)

i think its a good thing that they ALMOST made it, too. they were a week away from the month of no-contact. if they'd only made it a week in, then you could chalk it up to not trying hard enough, but if they were so close and johnny STILL couldn't hold back for just a few more days, thats a codependency for sure, and if they had just eked out the last few days, then maybe they would’ve tried to go right back to the status quo and Darling would still be stuck in the rut

simon's one last act of service to make her dinner broke my heart. he's so willing, even in the worst of circumstances, to do what he can for her because he loves her so much, and he damn well knows its the end of it for the three of them. he loved her so so desperately :(

“A man who knows what's coming. Who's always been able to see inside you, and yet, still makes you dinner. Still cares for you in the way he knows how. “ like set my heart on fire too while ur ripping it out of me, man 💀

I think simon’s last words when they were talking at the kitchen table really perfectly sum things up. They finally understood the pain of separation, the dependency, and see how much turmoil it caused Darling, and how unfair it was. Even if she was asking them to be selfish, it WAS selfish to stay

“The guillotine waits in the wings, a final chorus cut off by a symphony.” i just really liked this line. They both know its still coming, but they want to delay it just a little bit longer

When she ran down the hall, and he indulged in one last kiss but forced himself to put the distance back between them and leave…. damn…….

The next morning, when she went to the apartment, I think it was smart of darling too, to notice that she shouldn’t feel complete only when she has her partners there together at that moment. They should add to, not make up a life. 

“It’s beginning to become overwhelming, and in the throes of your building panic, you glance wildly at Simon. He stares back. Nods.” Heartwrenching that at the end, darling and simon communicate through a glance while Johnny is left out of the exchange. It hurt so much seeing that Johnny didn’t quite get it like they did. He was still bargaining, thinking his messup was the cause of everything, and not seeing the big picture. sweet boy :(((( i do hope he doesn’t resent simon or darling in the grief of it, blaming them for not trying as hard as he was, desperately begging to stay together at the end

AND SIMON SAYING HE WAS PROUD OF HER!!!! RAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

“You, who is stepping forward without darling.” its sad to think that this nickname almost became a burden to bear. She’s no longer their darling, now she’s just… her ❤️

In hindsight, i think i always knew it was going to end like this. The first oneshot (before it became a bigger full fic) ended with her leaving, and i think i was so attached to them working through it because i didn’t know how much healthier of a dynamic they could have, and thought these guys were it. But having read the dynamic you’ve written in simple math, its apparent how much more in tune with things they can be (moral greyness asides lmfao) johnny in particular is so tuned into bunny and simon, and here he still doesn’t quite get it. SM simon takes control with seemingly a lot more experience and instead has the fight of getting bunny to relinquish the control, sure, but its in a way that it feels temporary. DD simon went about it in a way that never got darling to a place where she could take care of herself BY herself, forcing her to be dependent to keep up the same standards. I think at some point you said that SM and DD aren't the same universe, but SM is basically the more experienced, reliable, mature version of DD, and after hearing that I’ve had very open eyes to it lol. I love them both, but its ok for them to have room to grow

i have more thoughts but theyre still scrambled into incoherent yelling and tears so i will spare u those lmfao

idk where the epilogue will go, but i have a feeling they’ll all be better for it, and could be maybe friends someday

as someone who has thought of themselves at times as difficult to love due to struggles i can't necessarily control, this story gave me a lot of hope that i COULD find someone who could love me not just despite my problems, but love me WITH my problems. i think thats an extremely special story to have, so again, thank you for writing this ❤️

I agree this was really long but I loved every sentence and have always loved your analysis of stories and characters. I agree this was the happy ending and I'm sure the epilogue will provide some closure (with lingering questions though). Your tomato plant analogy is perfect, and I think/know Darling will grow and flourish on her own.

The nuances of the chapter, Simon cooking her one last meal, taking care of her one last time, I think those were final things that made her really believe and realize she had to step out on her own, because you're right, they were all too codependent and Simon thrived taking care of Darling, but at what cost?

Anyway thank you always, it's been such a joy to share this story with you and hear your thoughts. I always look forward to them.

[vacantgodling]

this year was one of the first years in a long time that i TRULY committed myself to writing any and everything that i thought of and it’s been a really good feeling. so starting from this year, i wanna have a little year in review so i can look back and reminisce on how much i actually did cuz sometimes it’s hard to tell lol.

TOTAL WORDS WRITTEN (january — december 2023)

139,345 (as of 11/30 (google docs only))

i’ve written more probably, but my notes app is harder to keep track of word counts in. this total is also across all pieces of prose and poetry, though poetry isn’t a significant number lol

if this was all in one piece i’d probably have a full novel already lmao 💀

LONGEST SINGLE PIECE

paramour chapter 9 — masquerade, clocking in at 5,894 words

WIP THAT HAS MADE THE MOST HEADWAY BY THE NUMBERS

paramour is sitting pretty at 30k-ish words written overall (including me writing chapter 20 twice lol)

WIP THAT HAS MADE THE MOST HEADWAY BY THE HEART

definitely cage. i’ve had this fanfiction and wip for years and the fact that i’d finished the full outline like last year but didnt start writing it until now and how much headway ive made in such little time… i’m really proud of myself. i can’t wait to actually finish this bitch

TOP PIECES WRITTEN THIS YEAR

Worthless War -> the cherry on top, best thing i’ve written this year and probably in general for a long time.

Come To Bed -> when i lost my mind about buddy daddies earlier this year, this fic really encapsulated everything i felt about the show. i love the narration, i love how it’s fun and playful but also deep, and i remember having so much fun writing it.

Paramour Chapter 20 “Careless Whisper” -> the rewrite of chapter 20 i am UNREASONABLY obsessed with and it’s a shame i can’t post it here without giving so so so much away. i love it so much i am willing to share it with those who don’t care about spoilers lol but its smutty and emotionally charged and everything perfect about amon and hya’s fucked up mess

A Fool’s Errand -> this is in the role swap amon and hya au and tbh this au is So Fun to me. getting to be in amon’s head more often is definitely a treat and the description of the make out is PEAK

Good Feeling -> i will never be normal about hue and jihan and i think i captured their relationship esp in the early days perfectly so i’m just gonna cry about it

Ritual -> i really love this piece and giving life again to some old ocs meant a lot to me. + the smut 🤌🏾🤌🏾

Distraction -> no one knows or cares about these ocs but me and that’s okay i’ll just be feral about them on my own 😭

GOALS FOR NEXT YEAR

reach 150k words written overall

finish cage like it’s GOING to happen i will it

finish the first draft of paramour!!!

[lucky-clover-gazette]

prince's gambit highlights & annotations

chapter 11

indented text is from the book. some quotes have commentary, some do not. some comments are serious, and some are definitely not. most of them will only make sense to people who have read the series. and, like, there are spoilers. so please read the books first if you're interested!

also: part of the reason i'm doing such a close reading is to study cs pacat's style, especially in terms of how she does romance and erotica. there are "craft notes" that might seem weird, like i'm being redundant or restating something rather than analyzing, but those are more things that i want to remember/take away from the writing!

i'm going to tag these longer posts with "sam reads capri" in case anyone wants to read them all at once.

this is a google doc i wrote with overall content warnings for the captive prince series. it's not perfect, but i do think it's important to include.

A prudent ruler would want a seasoned diplomat overseeing this fraught standoff, not Laurent, who had arrived like a wasp at an outdoor feast, annoying everybody.

‘Your Highness. We were expecting you two weeks ago. But we were glad to hear that you enjoyed the inns of Nesson,’ said Lord Touars. ‘Perhaps we can find you something equally entertaining to do here.’

you cannot out-bitch laurent of vere. but good luck trying

The golden prince was at his best when viewed from sixty paces, out of spitting range of his nature.

‘Is my slave making you nervous?’ said Laurent. ‘I can understand that. It takes a man to handle him.’

this is a minor political ploy on laurent’s part—he’s not necessarily defending damen out of the good of his heart. he’s trying to take these people out of their comfort zone, within their own stronghold. also, lmao

‘Councillor Guion,’ said Laurent.

BOOOOOOO TOMATO TOMATO

Laurent had said to him calmly, ‘You knew my uncle wanted to provoke conflict at the border. How else did you think he was going to do it?’ At the end of those exchanges, there had been nothing left to do but get on his horse and ride to Ravenel, spending the ride with his gaze fixed on the back of a yellow head that was infuriatingly not to blame for these attacks, no matter how much he wanted to think so.

damen is gradually easing out of his whole “everything that goes wrong is laurent’s fault” spiral. and he’s not happy about it

‘I don’t blame insects for buzzing when someone kicks their hive over,’ said Laurent. ‘I find myself curious about who it is that wants to see me stung.’

He tried not to think that the future of his country now came down to Laurent, talking.

Damen had been receiving grins and slaps on the back all day. Laurent was the recipient meanwhile of newly appreciative looks. Laurent had risen yet another notch in the esteem of the men, now that they understood that whatever they had previously assumed of his habits in bed, the Prince clearly galloped his barbarian slave under a tight rein. Damen ignored it. It was not the time for trivial matters.

‘Jord sent you?’ said Paschal. ‘He has a sense of irony.’

context: damen, the akielion, has been sent to help victims of the akielion attack

‘The raids are constant. And it was only six years ago that Akielons drove these men out of their homes, out of their fields. They have seen friends, family killed, children taken as slaves.’

HUH??? that doesn’t sound like a fucking pact to me!!

Damen looked at Laurent, and tried to imagine facing him over battle lines. He had been caught up in the energy of—creating something. Laurent’s determination, the ability he had to beat odds had infected him. But this wasn’t a chase through a town, or a game of cards. This was Vere’s most powerful lords unfurling their banners for war.

a kingdom or this? (this. choose this. and then you can have both. but you have to choose this first)

‘Tell him—his coward’s attack on Akielos killed less than we did.’ Proudly. Anger was not useful. It came over him in a wave, and so for a long time he didn’t speak, just stared at the dying man, flatly.

damen’s internal sense of right and wrong making him doubt his own nation…

‘Kastor,’ said Naos, ‘the false king. Damianos—should have been our leader. He was the prince-killer. He understood what Veretians are. Liars. Deceivers. He would never have—climbed into their—beds as Kastor has done.’

just wait until chapter 19

[tonberry-yoda]

Once Upon A Dream - Julian Devorak

Pairing - Julian Devorak x reader (a dress is mentioned to be on reader, but clothes dont mean nothin frfr)

Warnings - Julian getting drunk lmaoooo but nothing other than that lol

Word Count - ~1,270

Notes - this is old... LIKE REALLY FLIPPIN OLD like SO OLD OMG. it was rotting in google docs and I found it and I actually love it. I kinda miss my old writing style ngl... that's okay tho lol, I still love my writing now dont get me wrong, but this was in a time where i had a ton of free time, so i could write all day if i wanted to. anyway, enjoy!!! <333 (i did edit it a bit tho lmao)

You were never around the palace often, considering the people there didn't like you much. You were poor. You worked in the marketplace.

But occasionally, You would find yourself in the garden on a gloomy and foggy day playing with the frost covered, half dead flowers with a smile on your face even though your feet were covered in mud and there was no saving the brim of that dress that had dirt and grass stains collected from the past couple of years.

You smiled as you ran your hand over the ice covered fountain humming to yourself, Once Upon a Dream. The tune has been stuck in your head all morning.

As you was getting through the chorus, watching a bird eat the seeds you threw, you felt something warm next to you and another voice joined in. “But if I know you, I know what you’ll do…”

You turned over, shocked and a man laughed. “My apologies. I love that song. Been stuck in my head all morning, I just had to get it out. I thought it was a nice opportunity.”

You smiled, tilting your head. “Are you… Doctor Devorak?”

“Ugh, formalities. Call me Julian, dear. Or Doctor Julian. Formalities.” He shook his head as he repeated that word.

“What are you doing out here, doctor?”

He smiled, looking at the crisp grass. “Nothing like a morning walk, don't you think? Sometimes one man can get sick of the plague.”

“I would imagine,” you pulled you cold legs towards your chest, sitting down. “Are you getting close to a cure?”

He shrugged, looking off before sighing, putting his head in his hands. “God, I just feel like I'm a failure.”

“A failure? No! You’ve helped a lot of people!”

“There’s only so much I can do before there’s hoards of people! More and more people get infected every day. More people are dying and I can only heal so many at a time.”

“Doctor, you’re doing fi-”

“That’s what you see on the surface! Do you see this?!” He threw off his eyepatch revealing the plague.

You gasped and backed up.

“It's not contagious, love… I apologize… I just let out everything on a stranger, huh?” He sighed, laughing sadly to himself and sat back down, putting the eyepatch back on. “I'm fine. The plague doesn't affect me or anyone around me.”

You sighed, sitting next to him. “I'm sorry about that. You’re doing the best you can do right now though and that’s enough for the town for now.”

“I'm trying.”

You grabbed his warm, gloved hand and rubbed your thumb over the back of his hand. “You are. And that’s good enough. At least you’re putting in effort.”

He laughed and looked directly into your eyes. “I just realized that I never learned your name, dear.”

---

“Can I get another salty bitters over here?”

The bartender leaned over the table, laughing. “Another one?! Dr. Devorak, you’re going to die off of those things!”

“The great Dr. Devorak doesn't die over alcohol!” He hiccuped and stood up on his table. “I am the great Dr. No. 069! Got it, barkeep?!”

The whole bar burst out into laughter, including Julian who slipped off of his table.

All of a sudden, the whole bar got quiet when a small silhouette walked in and over to the bar. “Excuse me… can I get a salty bitters please?”

The bartender looked at you with a very skeptical eye, laughing along with the rest of the bar. “The little one… wants a salty bitters?!”

“Yes please.”

“Where did you come from?”

“None of your business. Can I have my drink please?”

He laughed so hard that he fell over along with the rest of the bar and you stood there, rolling your eyes.

Julian scattered up and ran next to you. “A salty bitters, you say?”

You smiled, turning to Julian. “Yes, a salty bitters. Does everyone and their mother have a problem with that?”

He laughed, banging his hand on the counter. “You heard the lady, barkeep! Get her a salty bitters!”

You were standing so close to him that you could smell the alcohol on his breath.

The bartender got up and handed you your alcohol. “There ya go little one! A salty bitters… in a teacup!”

The whole bar broke out into insane laughter as you took your drink.

It all stopped when you slammed it down though.

“I'll take one more and be on my way, thanks.” You threw the money on the counter and the bar went back to normal.

“Did you used to be a pirate or sumthin?” The bartender slid over your drink, flashing you a toothy smile.

“I did.”

“Cute. Enjoy the drink, okay?” He winked and you smiled and walked away, rolling your eyes.

Julian ran after you and grabbed your shoulder. “You look familiar… Do I know you?”

You studied his face for a minute, only a flash of a memory appearing for a second. “I… I don't know.”

His hand slid down your shoulder, falling limply. “Okay… sorry.”

You grabbed his fallen hand, looking into his shaky eyes. “It's okay.” You smiled, sending a shockwave of familiarity through his body that made him shake.

“I'll… see you around?”

You turned over, the smile only turning brighter. “Yeah.”

---

He stared at his plague doctor mask, looking off to the sea with a sad look striking his eyes. “Who needs a plague doctor if there’s no plague? …”

He threw his mask into the ocean and a small tear fell down his cheek. He let himself cry with his face in the palms of his hands, calling himself things like a failure and a murderer. He didn't want to be seen as these things, but he figured they were true based on the words of the people. The people he tried to save, only to let down.

“Dr. Devorak?” He turned over, seeing you, who he met at the bar. You, whose shop he broke into. You, who patted him down and he subtly flirted with.

“D-Dear!” He realized that when he looked at you, his face was red, puffy, and tear stained. “S-Sorry.”

She sat next to him, looking out at the sea. “Sorry for what?”

“N-Nothing. Nevermind.”

You sat in silence for a moment as you scooted closer to him, your hands almost touching.

“Julian?”

“Yes?”

“Did you actually kill Lucio?” He looked over to you with shock in his eyes that turned soft almost immediately. “I don't remember.”

You hummed in response, scooting closer. “I hope this doesn't sound weird… but Julian… it feels like we’ve known each other for years.”

He laughed, moving his hand to his hair, brushing it out of his eyes. “You’re telling me!”

You smiled and stood up, stretching your hand out. “Julian, let's go get some dinner.”

Tears pricked the corners of his eyes and he stood up, pressing a kiss against your forehead. “Yes please.”

---

Julian, I love you. I didn't tell you… but I have the red plague. I don't know when you’ll read this, but please know that even in death, I will be with you forever. I promise that we’ll see each other again. Even if it takes an eternity. To be honest with you… I love you. I always have. You’ve had nothing but respect for me and I hope that I showed you the same. Good luck. You’ll always be the best doctor in my eyes. I believe in you. Even in my last days I look at you with dreamy eyes. I love you, Dr. Devorak.

XOXO

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