#this is a 100% effective and healthy coping mechanism

[tizeline]

Asking some writers/artists I follow:

Is there anything in your fic/comic that you as the author know about, but won't end up in the actual story?

So I have a rather uh disorganized way of telling the story of the TSAU, I jump back and forth in the timeline quite a bit depending on what part of the story I wanna tell. Overall I improvise quite a bit, and because of that I can't be 100% sure what will be depicted in the story and what wont. But I might as well share some little tidbits of lore that are probably not gonna be mentioned in the main story (though they still might who knows lol)

So uh. April and Kendra are exes. Kinda. They were pretty close friends when they were younger and decided to become a couple when they were like 9 or something. This lasted for a grand total of.... 2 days, maybe? Then they had a huge fight about something silly like, I dunno, Kendra hacked April's tamagotchi as a prank and she got mad so they broke up and they've had major beef ever since.

Draxum made Mikey wear some type of artifact or gear that supressed his mystic powers as a kid for his own safety. Mikey started showing an incredible talent for the mystic arts at a very young age. Draxum was excited about this for all of 5 seconds before realizing that Mikey is a VERY small child with NO impulse control and he's definetily gonna turn himself and the rest of the family into glitter unless Draxum finds a way prevent that from happening until Mikey has the chance to develop an understanding of consequences. (He's learned to control his powers well enough to not need them by the time of the main-story, so he no longer wears the supressors)

Donnie's whole villain-act he puts on is partially a coping mechanism. He grew up never knowing anyone like himself (unless you count Splinter, I suppose) so the only times he saw himself represented in anything was characters in comics and shows and such. There were plenty of anthropomorphic reptile characters in the media he consumed, and Donnie clunged to anyone or anything that he could at least somewhat relate to. Problem is, a lot of these anthro reptiles were like.... y'know... villains. It's pretty common for super heroes and stuff to fight evil mutant reptile creatures, and even stories with only anthro characters reptiles tend to be charactarized as more villainous. Granted, turtles specifically usually don't get this treatment, but it still had quite an effect on Donnie as a little kid that most characters similar to him would be viewed as evil, which caused him to internalize that mindset. So turtle tot Donnie basically went like "Yes! This is what I am! A villain in someone else's story! It all makes sense now! This is a healthy mindset to have!" and just kinda embraced the role that human society had given to him because he didn't really know how else to deal. (Things changed after meeting April and he found out that there might actually be humans out there who might treat him like a person and not just a freak of nature! He still plays into the villain-persona, partially for fun and partially as a coping thing, but he doesn't have nearly as a negative view of himself now as he did as a tot)

And last, but certainly not least................ Draxum owns a Lou Jitsu body pillow (PURELY for research-purposes, NO other reason!)

[inbarfink]

Okay, so when it comes to “What Remains of Edith Finch” I’m generally among those who subscribe to the reading that there is nothing supernatural about the ‘family curse’ - that it is nothing more than an unhealthy coping mechanism that became a self-fulfilling prophecy through a tradition of neglect and recklessness also maybe some slew of undiagnosed hereditary mental illnesses. But one aspect of this interpretation that I’m not really on-board with it is the idea that this makes the ending of the game, like, a totally unambiguously ‘bad’ tragic ending.

Well, either way it’s always a pretty sad ending, y’know. Everyone is dead. I mean in the sense that, like, if the ‘curse’ is nothing but the stories of the Finch family making them think they’re cursed - then Edith writing her little book and passing on these stories to her son is just perpetuating the Curse and probably dooming the poor boy. They would’ve both probably been better off if Edith did let those dangerous stories die with her. Right?

Well, that’s not really how I see it. I don’t really think this is a narrative is about how Edie and her outlook on death is, like, 100% totally wrong and dangerous and Dawn Finch was 100% totally in the right about trying to escape the family stories - as much as it is about Edie and Dawn both being flawed women and neither really handled their grief perfectly. Since Edie’s attitude kinda dominated the family and Edith herself kinda used to side with her great-grandma over her mother, the story focuses more on her realizing that, y’know, Dawn’s perspective might have a point. But just cause Dawn might’ve had a point doesn’t mean she was always right either. I think the point is more that Edith has to understand both her great-grandma’s and her mother’s side so she can strike a healthier balance between both of their attitudes.

Like, the thing is that the ‘Curse’ is mostly just generational trauma (and if there is a real supernatural Curse than it is still a metaphor for generational trauma), and the thing with trauma is that wallowing in it and letting it define you like Edie did is really not healthy - but neither is repressing it and trying to run away from it like Dawn tried to do. Edie might’ve been wrong about many things, but she was right about this:

The ‘Curse’ won’t leave Dawn and Edith just cause they left the House, or just cause they stopped listening to Edie’s stories. Because the Curse and their Trauma are the same, so it will follow them in some form wherever they go. The big thing I keep thinking about is Edith’s comment after Sam’s story.

This isn’t about Sam’s death being especially important for figuring out the ‘mystery’ of the Finch Curse, or it being an especially fascinating or beautiful story or whatever. It’s because it was an especially traumatic event for Dawn, that undoubtedly effected her for the rest of her life. But due to her fear of the effects of Edie’s Stories, she never really opened up about it with her daughter in any way. Seeing the pictures of Dawn and Sam’s last trip together, Edith feels she now has a greater understanding of what made her mother tick - and wishes she could’ve known about it when she was still alive.

And that does go farther down the family tree. Sam was the first Finch to show a real dislike to telling the Stories like Edie like. Although admittedly he wasn’t quite the rebel Dawn was:

And pretty much everything about how he acted around his children, especially the real shitty stuff, was informed by the trauma of Calvin’s death. 

And, like, obviously Edie’s idea of handling trauma did no favors to him, (She made him share a room with his dead twin for eleven years) but I think also his attempts to almost totally avoid and repress his Issues when he became an adult only made things worse and not better.

Now, you might be wondering how this relates to Edith and her son Christopher. Well, the first thing to remember is that Edith didn’t know for sure she was going to die when she started that journey. She wasn’t just planning on leaving that little book to her son in case she dies - she wanted to learn the stories too, and have a better understanding of the stories she knew already. Because these stories inform the trauma she grew around, and she wanted to understand it better before she became a mother. Dawn knew quite a lot about the danger of growing up in a household that wallows in and romanticizes trauma - and did her best to avoid repeating this mistake with Edith. Edith knew quite a lot about the danger of growing up in a household that repressed and runs away from trauma - and she doesn’t want to repeat it with her child as well.

And as for writing it down for Christopher in case she’s not around to share the stories with him. Well, the first thing to note is that I think that even if Christopher never had Edith’s book - he was already bound by the ‘Curse’ from the start. Like, yeah, he doesn’t have the experience of growing up with a traumatized parent raised by another traumatized parent raised by another traumatized parent - but growing up knowing his biomom died at childbirth can be a pretty traumatizing experience on it’s own. We don’t know much of his family situation outside of that, but the fact that there seem to be no one around to escort the Literal Child as he takes a ferry to go lay flowers at his birth mother’s grave doesn’t really bode well.

So I think, first things first, from that angle, Edith’s journal could be importantly therapeutic to him as well. You know, have some sort of connection to his mother and her side of the family that he’s otherwise can’t really have? Like, this book isn’t just some darn list of dead Finches. There’s a lot in here about Edith herself and her own thoughts and her life and family and that’s maybe connection Christopher would want with her? Something that might make him process his grief for her a bit better? Something to make him feel more connected with that side of his family?

Now, let’s also consider the fact the Finch Curse is at least somewhat public knowledge: the Odin Finch newsreel mentions it, Barbara’s death was very well-publicized at the time - and the ‘Tales of Terror’ comic calls it “another ghastly tale inspired by America's most unfortunate family” - implying that they expected their readership to be at least kinda familiar with the idea of the Finches being ‘cursed’. I think that’s pretty likely that, even without the journal, if Christopher dug even a little bit into who his birth mother was he would’ve found at least a mention of a rumor of a ‘Family Curse’ .

Or, hell, seeing how the Finches (and especially Edie) seem to have been local celebrities around Orcas Island - if Christopher lives anywhere near that area, really all it will take is him saying something like “hey, I’m Christopher Finch!” or “my mother’s name was Edith Finch” and then someone would say “oh yeah, like the famous Orcas Island Finches? That cursed family that keeps dying?” and seeing how he has no living relatives on his mother’s side - he would’ve probably believed it, or at least allowed the possibility to wriggle into his heart - and then… well, the Curse will just live on regardless of Edith. 

Note that Christopher is already wearing a cast before he even read the book (and is, again, a child taking a ferry to visit his mother’s grave all alone) - it seems like something of the ol’ Finch recklessness has already made it to him, whatever it’s in his genes somehow or just the rumors of the curse getting to him. But it is not entirely on Edith’s journal.

And like, one of the things I think made the Curse such a problematic mindset is the way it prevented the Finches from ever learning from their mistakes. You know, if every death is a result of a malevolent supernatural force haunting the family - then there’s no need for introspection of how what they could do better in the future. Challenging this mindset was probably one of the best things about Dawn’s mindset. But learning from past mistakes is equally impossible when you convince yourself it’s all the fault of a supernatural curse as it is when you straight-up have no context for what happened before. If nothing else, the stories in this journal can serve as a useful lesson about not clinging to the past, or not letting your grief define you, or how you shouldn’t try and make a perfect 360 degree spin on swingset or how you SHOULDN’T LEAVE A BABY ALONE IN A BATHTUB JESUS CHRIST

Because it’s not like this journal is just, like, a totally uncritical reiteration of Edie Finch’s stories for the next generation or something. I think the game makes it pretty clear that although Edith Sr. and Edith Jr. are meant to mirror each other on some level, their attitudes when it comes to the stories of the family are pretty different. 

Edie was characterized as someone who cared more for what makes for a good story over the truth, as someone prone to inventing or exaggerating tales, as someone who reveled in the romanticism of being Doomed, and memorialized the death of her loved ones more than their life. Like, one of the things that really crosses a line for me about the Edie Finch Method of Grief is just how much the circumstances of the death are prioritized over the life the person had before it. 

It’s not always so blatant cause the Finches tend to die in ways that poetically tie with their personality and hobbies (Molly loved animals and fantasy and she spent her last moments in a hallucination of transforming into various animals, Sam loved hunting and photography and he died taking a picture while hunting, Walter loved trains and ended up being run over by one) but… there’s certain areas where it’s actually kinda unclear if the connection is actually there or if Edie is kinda forcing it for the sake of a good story. 

Like, Barbara was a horror movie child star and her death reads like a cheesy horror story - but that’s because Edie chose a cheesy horror retelling to represent it. Maybe if we knew the real story of how she died, it wouldn’t be quite so on-the-nose. Did Gus actually love flying kites to the point it defines his entire personality or was that just something he did on the day he died? Either way, he’s defined by that one activity forever now. 

And Gregory… like I’m sure he enjoyed bath-time, but the fact he’s memorialized almost exclusively with bath toys and soap is kinda fucked-up. I’m sure he had other toys he loved to play with outside the tub as well, but all of his memorials are focused entirely on the thing that killed him.

Edith’s attitude, as can be seen through the game, is different. Edith can appreciate the beauty of Edie’s stories but also cares quite a bit about truth and accuracy. The difference is most obvious when it comes to their books. Both Ediths wrote a story about coming back to their old childhood home and discovering the family secrets - only Edie’s story, “The History of the Finches”, seems to be complete fiction and based on what she would’ve wanted to be true, while Edith did actually go to her old childhood home and tried to record it as accurately as possible. And while she’s limited in telling the death stories that Edie kept records of, she also notes the points when they seem ridiculous or inaccurate to her. 

She documents the tall-tale about how Sven was killed by a dragon, but also clarifies that he was killed while trying to construct a dragon-shaped sled. Rather than just perpetuating Edie’s joke for the sake of the fantasy. 

Plus, she doesn’t just focus on the Finches’ deaths, she does try and tell Christopher about their lives as well. It’s not always easy, since with the older generations Edith often doesn’t have much to go on outside of Edith’s memorialization, but she does try to get a General Vibe out of them from their room and other mementos they left behind (like Sam’s improvised darkroom in the wall-passegeways) rather than just the death story. And when it comes to the people Edith actually remembered well herself - Lewis, Dawn and Edie - she’s constantly telling little anecdotes and details of their life together. 

In a way, I kinda divide “What Remains of Edith Finch” into three main parts. The first third of the game, with Edie’s kids, is the one that centers on the mystery of whatever the ‘curse’ is real or not - and is also a character study of Edie herself via the lense of the people that she lost. The second part is basically that but for Dawn, it’s about Edith learning to understand her mother’s character via the loss of Sam, Gregory, Gus, Sanjay and Milton. The Lewis segment is a transition between that third and the last third - which is about Edith Finch herself. Even if Edith can paint a full picture of both life and death for all of her dead relatives, she can at least give Christopher a good insight to his mother, grandmother and great-great grandmother. 

And notably, the two people Edith ‘has’ to memorialize herself without Edie’s postmorten involvement, Edie herself and Dawn, get a very different treatment from every other Finch. They don’t get a ‘proper’ Death Story documenting or describing their last moments. The closest thing is Edith’s flashback of the day they moved out of the House, which is more of a Death Flashback for the Finch Family as a concept than to Edie and Dawn as individuals. We do know that Dawn died of some sort of illness, but it’s delivered to us at the end of a longer passage about the life they had together. And we really don’t know anything but how Edie died at the end. 

If Edith doesn’t know how Edie died, she’s shown no interest in trying to figure it out - if she does already know, she doesn’t think her spesific cause of death is important to write down for her son. The important thing is for him to learn what kind of person Edie was in life, and Edith has more than enough understanding of her great-grandma to memorialize her without defining her entirely through some sort of of romanticized tragic death. 

And, like the most important thing to remember is that Edith questions the concept of the Curse in her journal. Like, the game and the journal are one and the same. So, like all of these passages that are important for the ‘there’s no supernatural curse’ interpetation:

Christopher is reading these lines as well. If we are capable of playing “What Remains of Edith Finch” and understanding the ‘Curse’ as being a self-fulfilling prophecy - then Christopher is also capable of reading his mother’s journal and coming to the same conclusion. I mean, it’s not a certain thing. There’s plenty of players who read the Curse as a real supernatural force and that’s also a valid interpetation of the game’s text. And there’s like, actual grown-ass adults who played this game and decided it’s actually about a serial-killer granny. So maybe it’s asking a bit too much from a little grieving eight-years-old to immediately understand this as a story of unhealthy trauma coping mechanisms through the generations. 

But my point isn’t that there is 100% no possibillity of Christopher dooming himself like every other Finch before him, or that Edith made the objectively correct decision in writing this journal and basically saved her son from the ‘Curse’. It’s just that he’s not doomed... it can still go either way. Christopher might have read this and started to believe in the Curse and perpatured the cycle onwards, or he might have come to the same conclusion Edith did - that believing in these stories made them real - and decided to try and do better than those who came before him. Or maybe he came to one conclusion but will later change his mind. As long as he’s alive, there’s is at least the possbility that things will turn out better. 

“What Remains of Edith Finch” ends with the shot of the two things that ‘remained’ of the two Edith Finches of the game. The House is What Remained of Edith ‘Edie’ Finch Sr. A glorious and sad monument of mourning, now forever frozen in time as a memorium for the tragedy of the Finch Family. And Christopher is What Remained of Edith Finch Jr. An actual living human being with his whole life ahead of him, who still has the potential to doom or save himself. 

Good luck.

[princess-of-the-corner]

Dabi in the Hikari lives au. He really is the most normal person in the league somehow. He definitely is determined in getting Himiko help here isn't he.

depends on if I have her in the League or not? On one hand this AU is an offshoot of Chaos Children where she didn't join them, but on the other hand I have plenty of room to butterfly effect things so she ends up with the League instead.

but yeah if she is there he's 100% like 'okay I'm gonna talk my parents into an adoption'.

Swinging back though it's kinda hilarious because yeah he's the most normal and least traumatized but he has to like. Play it up. And don't get me wrong he does have some overall trauma and some beef with the System and especially the Commission that he can work with to sell his anger as real. But he also knows what the fuck a healthy coping mechanism is.

[multiplicity-positivity]

do you have any advice or positivity for a system who feels weird that they keep splitting off new alters? most of my friends who also have systems are only at most 10 person systems, while we easily double that and then some, and have been sprouting new ones still. i always feel like my friends are going to judge me or be weirded out.

Hiya! Um, so if it’s any consolation, our system is sitting at 22 alters right now! It’s perfectly normal to have 10+ alters or headmates in a system :3

For some systems with dissociative disorders, polyfragmentation happens, which can lead to systems developing large numbers of parts and alters. Like, really large numbers (think over 100 or over 1000)! Which is definitely way more than 10 and isn’t proof that someone is faking or isn’t really part of a system!

Most systems don’t get to choose when they split or how many alters they have. It’s not your responsibility to mask your alters, try to suppress splits, or otherwise act like your system is small for the benefit of others!! If your friends judge you or are weirded out by the number of alters in your system, that is absolutely their problem and internalized ableism on their part, and it is no fault of yours at all!! >w<

If you are part of a system with a complex dissociative disorder (we’re assuming you are by your use of the word “alters”) it’s good to remember that splits happen as a way to manage or cope with stress. So if you truly do want to split less often, you probably can achieve this by learning emotional regulation and healthy coping mechanisms, along with putting them into practice!! Understanding how to cope with traumatic, stressful, or difficult situations can help your system effectively deal with these issues as they arise in ways other than splitting off new alters.

We know learning new coping skills is easier said than done! So if you aren’t seeing a therapist, it may be a good idea for you to find one who can help you with this. If not, there are plenty of skills workbooks out there - we recommend this DBT book for general wellness skills, and Coping with Trauma-Related Dissociation for skills relating specifically to trauma recovery.

We know from experience that splitting can be scary, painful, exhausting, and overwhelming. We want to let you know that you’re not alone in your struggles! While it can be disorienting to split, remember that it’s a coping mechanism that your mind uses to protect you and keep you safe. So please try not to beat yourself up over splitting, and remember that those who judge you for it are either misinformed, or they do not have your best interests at heart! >_<

We hope this helps, even if it just helps a little! We’re so sorry you’re dealing with this, and we wish you hope and healing in the future! Good luck with everything!! :3

💚 Ralsei, 🌸 Margo, and 🖋 Cecil

[corruptedsilence]

OOC: Since you were talking about Des, I've actually been wondering what (if anything) could be done for him and the other Artifacts.

Letting the angry little shit free is a BIG no-no, but keeping him inside something that can be stolen and change hands isn't good either. Locking him up in an actual prison would just make him hate people more and there's still the chance someone could find him.

For better or worse, he's part of this world @seraphvie​

That’s actually a really good question and honestly? I think it has to boil down to a few things that are, in my opinion, seemingly impossible to do:

1. Humanity and life itself has to get a better hold on their emotions. In my view the artifacts feed and live solely because people experience and feel the emotion that they have, as such their power and influence grows the more of the emotion they are associated is around/out of control. ie: For Des, the angrier people are, the more enraged and hatred they feel the stronger he gets in turn. It doesn’t help he to my canon has a natural aura that mortal beings+souls are effected by that make them feel an inclination to be more angry such as all wielders of the cane have. (As for soulless beings I don’t think his aura effects them)

Humans, animals, any living thing that can experience anger would need to get a better hold on regulating their emotions and not getting out of hand. This would significantly drain his ability and in turn the aura he can spread. But sadly this wouldn’t happen because you can’t expect all of life itself to be able to have a healthy relationship with their emotions since it’d only take 1 soul to ruin it for everyone.

Just as with every emotion you need regulation and healthy ways of experiencing the emotion and working through it. it’d be the same with Des and all the other artifacts. People need to get a better hold on their grief but like I said it isn’t feasably possible. Bottling them up into physical items, literally bottling up the universe’s grief in ticking time bombs would only cause more grief on an unimaginable scale once it’s let out.

2. Limited Freedom. @sweetestthrenody​ and I, my beautiful gf u///u, have thought of an idea of Nim and Eton that Nim basically helps invent a spell for Eton to be given *limited* freedom to interact with the real world but keeps his main core power within the shoes. This allows him the safety of any of the Empress’s soldiers that are still alive while still allowing him some kind of “freedom”. He can still do small things ofc on his own but he can’t cause catastrophic destruction with how power. It’s still mainly contained within the shoes but he has a more physical body that he is free to be more of himself in.

Of course another restriction is he can’t be too far away from the shoes/artifact still which is a downside but he isn’t 100% limited as he is being stuck inside it completely. I feel this could be the best way to more or less “rehabilitate” the artifacts into life by giving them limited freedoms via spells using their own magic in a way the artifacts themselves can’t use while trapped.

Kind of like how medications and things help limit your interaction with certain emotions but in the end you should still deal with those core emotions. Medications, depending on what it’s for of course, shouldn’t completely numb you or else it’s just another form of bottling your emotions. When it comes to more mood-regulating ones ofc. Only when you learn better coping mechanisms that you’re able to slowly get off of it if that’s possible for some (but i dont think the planet could handle any being fully freed. Earth got lucky with Brier since she didn’t want ot destroy the world but be accepted by it but even then she still fucked up the entirety of vampire kind). Even then I don’t think the artifacts could ever feasibly live their lives like they once had because the world can’t handle that much emotion especially having been stored in these artifacst for countless centuries and millenia even. If you think bottling up a decade or more of grief in you, think about that times as many people on the planet, over the span of hundreds of years. That’s what the artifacts have had to deal with fhewjkk

Both of these things together would allow Des, and the other artifacts, the ability to interact and gain freedom over time but for Des I don’t think he’ll ever be happy with it. This might work for Eton who is more of an inclination to bargaining the best situation he can get in my view, but Des and his delusional views of the world and himself as a god among mortals wouldn’t accept either of these terms and would constantly cause more issues. Sure, he might be with Eton in his limited freedom but he would always resent and be angered by not having complete freedom which he believes he deserves because the empress and life created him, so it’s not fair to bottle him up as if they aren’t responsible for what they created.

[never-not-ever]

(This is the 💕☀️ anon from last night. You don’t have to answer or reply to this if you don’t want to - just think about what I’m saying. Also this will likely be my last message on this subject because overwhelming you is not my goal. I’m not trying to make you feel bad either, and I sincerely apologize if this message or the first one had that effect 💕)

No one can convince you to not use behaviors, the decision to not use them and to use healthy coping mechanisms instead has to come from you. There are a few people you follow/reblog from on here who were once in your exact position, who had been destroying themselves in various ways and were in and out of the hospital and intensive treatment for a long time, and now they are THRIVING. You are just as good as they are, and just as worthy and deserving of thriving and of living a wonderful, beautiful life as they are - you have to give it a chance and choose to move towards building a life worth living to get there.

You're not overwhelming, I appreciate the concern though! I think about that second part a lot. I know who you're talking about. I feel like I used to be like them. I used to be thriving. I'm not going to be negative and say "and that's never going to happen again" since I'll probably get more hate for being more negative. So I'll simply stick to statements. I'm so happy for them and often I'm envious. But I know they worked hard to get there and also I know that their lives aren't 100% amazing every day. I don't want to invalidate any struggles they may be having simply by what little they share on here. Not saying you are!! Ugh, just overthinking over here..

So yes, I agree anyone can get to that place. I know I did before and maybe it could happen again. Choosing to move towards that, makes it sound so simple and you're not the first one to say those words nor do I think that was your intention. I can't choose my thoughts, urges, emotions... I can control my actions, I understand that. I wish I could switch this flip in mind and be on the other side, even if it's at the very bottom of the ladder, but still be on the other side.

In the past when I would discharge from inpatient I knew I still had a life ahead of me. A life to get back to and the chance to make it a fresh new start. I was always scared but there was always a part of me that was excited and grateful for the opportunity to start new. It's not like that this time around. My mind is in such a dark, hopeless state. There's very few things that are keeping me moving forward, taking it day by day and not acting on suicidal plans. For now this is enough. I'm still alive and still choosing life. Maybe over time the "few things" will increase. I have given thought to trying ECT or TMS again. That's a future oriented thing. And the two can exist where I still am in a dark hopeless place and don't want to be alive.

I feel like I'm just rambling now.. probably not even making any sense.

[soberloosid1]

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[unfoldingmoments]

Control Stress

Stress is the button that the brain presses which acts as a default mechanism to adapt to the worst-case scenario. The moment we become acutely stressed, glucose spikes in our blood. You also get a spike in inflammatory markers.

We know the evolutionary reason for it. So if you're running away from an animal and you have an open wound, being in a state of inflammation protects you. When we're stressed. It's a benefit as long as it's short term.

The problem is as soon as you keep the button pressed for very long, these effects become negative.

Constant/ Chronic stress can cause cardiovascular disease and promote illness. It's not that these shepherds here don't have any stress. They just seem to have not a lot of chronic stress. In a global survey of daily stress country by country, American report the opposite. American exceed the global average by 20%. One of the ways in which stress is beneficial is if we overcome it by active coping. Today, in our urban world, through social media, news media, we are brought all the problems of the whole world. These are the problems you can't physically control. But you can control how you treat your goat to make sure your flock is healthy. And this sense of active coping where you can resolve the problems that you are given is a very important part of mental health, cognitive longevity, and stress resilience. So in most of the world, we are driven to get ahead by working hard, day in and day out. In Sardinia, it's not so much what they do, it's how they do it. Ref:

Mithu Storoni, MD, Phd (Neuro-Orphtalmologist & Author) Live to 100: Secrets of the Blue Zones

[healthcaremoizazhar]

How to Remain Healthy in Old Age

Introduction

Old age, often referred to as the golden years, is a phase of life marked by unique challenges and opportunities. As individuals age, maintaining good health becomes paramount for overall well-being and quality of life. In this article, we will explore various strategies and tips on how to remain healthy in old age.

Nutrition

A balanced diet plays a crucial role in promoting health and vitality in old age. As metabolism slows down and nutrient requirements change, it's essential to pay attention to what we eat. Older adults should aim for a diet rich in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lean proteins, and healthy fats. These foods provide essential nutrients such as vitamins, minerals, and antioxidants, which are vital for supporting immune function, maintaining muscle mass, and reducing the risk of chronic diseases.

Physical Activity

Regular exercise is key to staying active and independent as we age. Physical activity not only strengthens muscles and bones but also improves cardiovascular health and enhances mood. Older adults should engage in a combination of aerobic exercises, strength training, flexibility exercises, and balance exercises to maintain overall fitness and reduce the risk of falls. Simple activities such as walking, swimming, yoga, and tai chi can be beneficial for older adults of all fitness levels.

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Mental Well-being

Maintaining mental health is just as important as physical health in old age. Cognitive decline is a common concern among older adults, but there are steps we can take to support brain health. Stimulating the mind through activities like reading, puzzles, crosswords, and learning new skills can help preserve cognitive function. Additionally, practicing mindfulness and relaxation techniques can reduce stress and improve overall well-being.

Social Connections

Social isolation can have detrimental effects on health and well-being, particularly in old age. It's essential for older adults to stay connected with friends, family, and the community. Participating in social activities, joining clubs or groups, and volunteering can provide opportunities for social interaction and support. Building and maintaining meaningful relationships can contribute to a sense of belonging and purpose in old age.

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Regular Health Check-ups

Preventive healthcare is crucial for detecting and managing health issues early on. Older adults should schedule regular check-ups with their healthcare providers to monitor their overall health and address any concerns. Common health screenings for older adults may include blood pressure checks, cholesterol screenings, diabetes screenings, bone density tests, and cancer screenings. Consulting healthcare professionals for guidance on preventive measures and treatment options is essential for maintaining optimal health in old age.

Sleep Hygiene

Quality sleep is essential for physical and mental health at any age, but it becomes increasingly important as we grow older. Older adults may experience changes in sleep patterns and struggles with insomnia or other sleep disorders. Practicing good sleep hygiene habits such as maintaining a regular sleep schedule, creating a relaxing bedtime routine, and creating a comfortable sleep environment can improve sleep quality and overall well-being.

Stress Management

Managing stress is essential for maintaining overall health and well-being in old age. Chronic stress can contribute to a range of health problems, including heart disease, depression, and cognitive decline. Older adults should prioritize stress-reducing activities such as meditation, deep breathing exercises, yoga, and spending time in nature. Developing healthy coping mechanisms and seeking support from friends, family, or mental health professionals can help older adults better manage stress and improve their quality of life.

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Avoiding Harmful Habits

Older adults should be mindful of harmful habits that can negatively impact their health and well-being. Smoking, excessive alcohol consumption, and substance abuse can increase the risk of chronic diseases and accelerate the aging process. Quitting smoking, moderating alcohol intake, and avoiding illicit drugs are essential steps for promoting longevity and vitality in old age.

Embracing Positive Lifestyle Changes

Embracing positive lifestyle changes can enhance overall health and well-being in old age. Cultivating hobbies and interests, maintaining a positive outlook on life, and embracing new experiences can contribute to a fulfilling and meaningful retirement. It's essential for older adults to adapt to the changes that come with aging and find joy and purpose in each stage of life. By prioritizing health and well-being, older adults can enjoy a vibrant and active lifestyle well into their golden years.

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DISCLAIMER

There are an affiliate link of a best product in this article which may make some profit for me.

[namazunomegami]

https://www.tumblr.com/namazunomegami/743754459269693440/httpswwwtumblrcomnamazunomegami7436814574012?source=share

you compliment me way too much for my own good lol. be careful now, I might blush 😳.

You mentioned that you feel that Gojo either has low empathy or little to no empathy at all and how he possibly may have a personality disorder (and I 100% agree that PDs are not inherently bad and that pw personality disorders are not inherently bad people).

I agree with you, I do feel like Gojo, due to his positioning and power in Jujutsu society, is actually pretty shitty at empathising with others, namely Shoko and Geto during the low moments of their lives. I think that as he got older, he definitely became better at cognitively empathising with others (his students), but I’m not sure if he could even experience emotional empathy.

Assuming he has little to none of that, I wonder how that would impact how he experiences grief. The fandom headcanons that Gojo was super torn up about Geto’s death and the shit that took place, but I’m not sure.

I’m being an idiot here but is Gojo even capable of being depressed or traumatised?

The reason I ask this is because trauma quite literally deteriorates the brain and impairs cognitive function. With Gojo constantly using Reversed Cursed Technique on himself to counteract the effects of Limitless on his body and brain, he technically should not even be able to be traumatised or depressed. If we’re going by how he canonically uses his powers, he possibly can’t experience any form of mental decline. This makes the divergence of Gojo, Geto, and Shoko’s life paths make so much more sense. Geto and Shoko could not mentally handle the pressure of the Jujutsu world the same way that Gojo could. They both needed coping mechanisms. Geto coped by blaming everything on humans and started a cult. Shoko… smokes. Geto and Shoko were affected mentally by the shit that goes on in the Jujutsu world, but is Gojo even capable of mentally deteriorating if his brain is constantly refreshed to the point that he doesn’t even NEED to sleep? Sleep is a CHOICE for Gojo. I can’t even pull all nighters!

Maybe I’m dumb and skimmed through the manga, but I don’t think there’s ever a moment in which Gojo stops using his powers. I mean, he obviously can’t turn off six eyes, but I’m talking about Limitless/Infinity. We know that he has the ability to be selective with it, like a selectively permeable membrane, but I don’t think he’s ever fully turned it OFF.

I wonder, if he turned it off completely, would everything that he’s experienced mentally catch up with him or would he be affected by everything going forward? Idk.

TL:DR- DOES GOJO EXPERIENCE TRAUMA OR DEPRESSION? I DONT THINK SO.

I’m analysing this way too much. I’m sure even Gege didn’t think of this lol. If Gege wanted him too, I’m sure Gojo could experience whatever trauma and emotions and whatever. But I’m just thinking about how his canonical usage of his powers impacts his brain and cognitive function.

Teehee, go on, blush 💕

I’m sorry nonnie but I’m gonna be professional with this answer.

People with personality disorders that limits their empathic skills feel grief and can be traumatised the same way as others. In fact, I know a narcissistic individual who was very shaken when they lost their father.

Let’s say that one day I’m gonna graduate finally: well, my specialisation is focused on helping individuals with behavioural disorders, ADHD, emotional disorders and we meet with a lot of heavily traumatised clients because we can work together with CPS.

With that in mind and adding my experiences out on the field, trauma is much more than brain and cognitive damage. So, even if Gojo can somehow maintain his brain activity at a 100% healthy and fresh level, I believe he can be traumatised too.

I mean, when he gets put into the box he legit has a PTSDesque flashback. Though it’s an unconventional one. It’s more like a reverse flashback. Because he relives the positive memories, the happy moments, when everything was alright and peaceful. While, in a typical flashback you only see the negative experiences, the worst things ever happened to you and you feel the same pain it doesn’t matter how many months or years have passed it still torments you.

So… I’m kinda agreeing and respectfully disagreeing with you at the same time lmao.

Oh and if you mentioned Shoko… My girl’s not just smoking, she’s a heavy drinker and rarely gets enough sleep. The self-soothing is now accelerated into self-destructing.

And it’s a headcannon of mine, but I think Geto’s sleep schedule is fucked at best. I think he frequently has nightmares, or he’s just tossing and turning for hours and then he can hardly wake up in the morning.

[tofangirlornottofangirl]

so latest chapter tells us how gojo admits he doesn't feel lonely "now" but i wonder oh i wonder, do you think he felt lonely all those years without suguru? without having anyone else that's there for him alone and him as just satoru?

also for your previous ask, i agree about the whole playboy persona, like i just don't see him like that, i like to think he tried to date and is a flirty bastard but i don't think he ever went further than that because he just couldn't connect with people if u know what i mean. i think in an ideal world satoru has a chance to move on and try again, without being obsessed with fighting and all that.

hope all this made sense, im just trying to cope lmao

this is 100% based on my own projections onto him but gojo has looked like a lonely character from the very beginning to even currently, to a great extent, and only some panels in his school years have seemed like he didn't feel that lonely.

i believe humans will do literally anything, and i mean anything, to not feel lonely. it's basically wired into our survival instincts. so tbh any "coping mechanism" or way to stop being lonely is not only possible but kinda understandable.

most people around him are probably honestly just as emotionally constipated, which is why yuuji being there is a pretty shocking and stark contrast to everyone else, and it's because he didn't grow up in the world of jujutsu at all (although he has had a fair share of his own loss and trauma, it is more of the regular human experience variety). even geto and haibara, even though they weren't born into these sorcerer families, grew up seeing curses and probably being kinda traumatised bc of seeing these scary things as children, seeing their effects on people around them, and then being potentially ostracised or trying to hide it, so dealing with it all alone. the only other person we really see being so open at all was haibara but we didn't get to see a lot about him.

nanami as an adult is probably the most emotionally healthy person in the entire story (aside from yuuji like i said) and even then he's not very open at all. but he took time away from the jujutsu world, worked through some of his trauma, and organised his philosophy and opinions about so many things. not a single other character has at all ever seemed like they deal with emotional stuff in a somewhat normal way. this is why i keep bringing in the tinge of nihilism that i think comes with being a sorcerer. like yaga and gojo say in the very beginning of yuuji's journey, you gotta be a little insane to be in this line of work. if you attempt to bring in regular-people morals into the mix, you will go insane, like geto did. you gotta be like that from the start.

all this to say, that i totally expect almost any relationships in the canonverse to be dysfunctional, and if they're actually any kind of functional that's 1. very surprising and 2. probably the result of an insane amount of work and effort being put into making it functional. our favs don't even go to therapy TT not to be a wet blanket or anything this is just what I think of the canonverse. however i have a lot of headcanons where i make it so that everyone is happy (and goes to therapy!!!). i also don't really know how to cope with the chapter or unhappy stuff in my fiction. i just try to ignore or avoid thinking about it until i either have no choice, have an outburst of emotions, or actually forget about it and move on to something else lol. yeah. not great.

anyway! i'm sorry I keep writing these essays on every ask. also, just as an aside, all of my thoughts are obviously coloured by my personal experiences, and it doesn't say on the blog or description, but i'm nd, queer, possibly aroace but who knows not me, and also don't really consider my gender identity as like a solid thing ykwim. so yeah whatever i say is coloured through these lenses. i haven't given a lot of thought to in-universe canon relationships very much because it doesn't seem like the story would ever go in that direction. i tend to mix in headcanons and completely made up AUs into any relationship thoughts i have about anyone in the verse.

[thewmhii]

The Importance of Resiliency Training in the Workplace

Introduction: In today's fast-paced and demanding work environments, it is crucial to prioritize employee well-being. One effective way to enhance mental health and promote a positive work culture is through resiliency training. This article explores the significance of resiliency training in the workplace and its potential benefits for both employees and organizations.

Understanding Resilience: Resilience refers to an individual's ability to adapt, bounce back, and thrive in the face of adversity. It involves developing coping mechanisms, managing stress, and maintaining a positive mindset. Resilience is particularly crucial in the workplace, where employees often encounter various challenges and pressures that can affect their mental health. Resiliency training equips employees with the necessary tools and strategies to effectively navigate these challenges, enabling them to respond constructively, maintain productivity, and preserve their overall well-being.

Benefits of Resiliency Training :

Enhanced Stress Management: building resilient teams provides employees with practical techniques to manage stress effectively. By learning stress reduction strategies such as mindfulness, relaxation exercises, and time management, employees can better cope with work-related pressures and maintain a healthier work-life balance.

Improved Mental Health: Resilience training fosters a positive work environment by promoting mental health and well-being. It equips employees with the skills to recognize and address negative thoughts, build self-confidence, and develop a resilient mindset. This, in turn, can reduce the risk of burnout, anxiety, and depression.

Increased Productivity and Performance: Resilient employees are better equipped to handle setbacks and challenges, enabling them to stay focused, maintain productivity, and deliver high-quality work. They are more likely to embrace change, adapt to new circumstances, and approach problems with a solution-oriented mindset.

Strengthened Team Dynamics: Resiliency training not only benefits individual employees but also contributes to a more cohesive and supportive team environment. When team members are resilient, they can collaborate effectively, communicate openly, and provide mutual support during challenging times.

Implementing Resiliency Training (approx. 100 words): To successfully implement resiliency training, organizations should consider the following:

Training Programs: Provide comprehensive and evidence-based resiliency training programs that cater to the unique needs of employees. These programs may include workshops, seminars, online courses, and resources for self-guided learning.

Leadership Support: Ensure that organizational leaders actively promote and participate in resiliency training. When leaders prioritize and model resilient behaviors, it creates a culture that encourages employees to engage in the training and embrace resilience as a shared value.

Ongoing Support: Offer continuous support and reinforcement to employees after completing resiliency training. This can include regular check-ins, access to mental health resources, and opportunities for further development and growth.

Conclusion: Resiliency training plays a pivotal role in fostering a mentally healthy workplace. By investing in such training, organizations empower their employees to navigate challenges with resilience, resulting in improved well-being, increased productivity, and stronger team dynamics. Prioritizing resiliency training can lead to a happier, healthier, and more successful workforce.

[aisyahyussof]

Cancer Pt 1.

Where do I even begin? Well, how about when I found out I had cancer.

Yes I have cancer.

"I don't have good news. What we found from your biopsy are some traces of cancer cells. You have Stage 1 papillary thyroid cancer."

Not to sound dramatic but this was the moment when I felt like everything was a blur and well, just like in the movies I could not really recall what happened next. Except for one thing, remembering I had an infant back home and I felt like a failure if I wasn't even given the chance to raise her.

My next thought was, how could I leave my husband with such a big amount of responsiblity?

I didn't think how cancer would actually effect me. I didn't have the time. So instead of being in a blur, I tried my best to concentrate on what the doctor was actually trying to tell me.

"Well, the good news is we caught it early. The survival rate after treatment is almost 90%. We have an action plan for you and that would require surgery. You would have to remove your whole thyroid and ..."

My phone rang.

"I'm sorry, doctor. It's my husband."

"Oh yes, please go ahead."

Mizi had been waiting with my 4 month old daughter in the car. It has been almost an hour.

"Hey dear. is everything okay? Are you going to be long?"

We had thought that this trip to the doctor's would be about thirty minutes max. We definitely did not expect me getting life changing news.

"Hey dear. I have bad news. The doctor says I have cancer."

"HUH? WHAT? Eh dear, this is not funny seh. Ahhh... dear. then how? Do you want me to go up? But ahh, Amelia is with me."

Oh yes, I found out I had cancer when the world was thick with covid.

"I don't know. The doctor says I need to go for more tests for my surgery... so might take awhile."

"A while... i can't be staying here with Amelia right... ahh this is not funny seh. And I promised the sticker seller, I'll be there in ten mins."

I didn't recall saying this as a joke but I understood why he reacted that way. It was his coping mechanism. What was mine?

"It's okay. You go ahead first. Or maybe I can go down. Let me check with the doctor."

Oh yes, that was mine (coping mechanism). Blocking my reality and thinking others'.

"Can I come back for the test, doctor?"

"Well, it's not really advisable."

"It's just that I have to fetch my daughter from my husband."

"Ahh, I see. Sure, you go to the nurses' station and tell them, how long you'll be."

"Okay, thanks doctor."

Give me about an hour and I'll be back. That was me, just finding out that I had cancer, making arrangements for my normal life. My supposedly normal and healthy life.

I guess, it has always been that way. Mizi had been fighting for his life for the past three years. Having a block artery, he had been in and out of hospital and going through multiple ballooning surgeries just so he could save his leg. I was supposed to be that pillar of support. A rock solid support for my ever so strong and courageous husband.

So, that was what I aimed to be. A supporting role, not the leading cast. I did not have time to process what the doctor had said. So I had to turn to google.

5-year relative survival rates for thyroid cancer

These numbers are based on people diagnosed with thyroid cancer between 2011 and 2017.

Papillary thyroid cancer

SEER Stage

5-Year Relative Survival Rate

Localized

near 100%

Regional

99%

Distant

75%

All SEER stages combined

near 100%

Does that mean I didn't have to panic? Was this like a flu? Would surgery solve everything? The doctor said I had to go through some radioactive therapy. Would I be losing hair? What about my daughter? I had to stop breastfeeding. I had to be away from her for a certain amount of time. Would she be ok?

Would everyone be ok?

"Ah, okay. So what now? I send you back to the hospital then I head back and ask Abah to take care of Amelia?" Mizi asks me. He knew what my answer would be.

"It's okay, dear. You just head back and I'll take the bus home. I'm not sure how long it will be."

The phone rings.

"HI, are you Nurul Aisyah?"

"Yes. oh yes I am heading back to the hospital."

"Yeah. your number has been called yeah. Please hurry as the doctor needs you to go through the tests."

"Okay, sure. I'm on my way back."

Mizi turns to me.

"I want to be there for you. But... this is just a lot. Just tell me how I could be there for you. What can I do?"

He tried to hold back tears. I didn't have any. In my mind, I had to beat it. This was not going to define me. I will go through the surgery, the treatments and I am going to be fine.

I had to be fine.

I reached the clinic, bid farewell to Mizi and went into the room. As I waited for the machine to warm up, the doctor stood beside me.

She looked at me, as I looked at her.

"I know this must be scary but don't worry, you're going to be okay."

"Thank you, doctor. I'm just worried for my family."

"Oh yeah, you have a daughter right."

"Yes"

"Is there anyone to take care of her when you're going to the surgery?"

"My husband."

"That's good."

"So after going through the surgery and the treatments, I will be cured?"

"Hopefully. But you would have to come in for checkups even after that. Lifelong checkups and since we are removing your whole thyroid, you would have to be on lifelong medicine too."

"Oh."

"Yes, cause generally when someone has been diagnosed with cancer, we would have to keep testing your cancer markers every year just to make sure it hasn't spread to any other parts."

"Oh, i see."

The phone rang.

"Oh sorry, doctor. It's my husband... yes dear?"

"How are you? Have you gone through the test yet?"

"No, not yet. Still waiting for the machine to turn on."

"Oh okay, i told Abah. I just couldn't hold it. I cried in front of him."

I wish I could say the same. I wish I could have some time to process and cry. But i couldn't, I didn't have time to.

To say out loud that I have cancer... It would make everything real and I still wanted to be in denial that it wasn't a big deal. That I'll fight it like I fought the flu.

I will get better.

I will, won't I?

[killmesoftlypls]

tips to help with your binge recovery:

1. relax. the food will still be there tmrw. it isn’t going anywhere, relax, think rationally, and breathe.

2. distract yourself. the best ways i’ve found to distract myself are usually a form of physical activity like going to the gym for a long period of time, or going for a walk with a step goal of 10k or higher in mind. another way i enjoy is reading books, (colleen hoover and penelope douglas write books that actually keep me wanting to read until the end). also the color by number apps are rly helpful, and watching true crime documentaries or tlc extreme hoarders, bc its so nasty u simply cant be hungry.

3. seek professional help. this is the best thing u can do for urself, i have gone to therapy many times before, but never for my ed. my first appointment to address my binge issues is this upcoming thursday so im super excited. therapists are trained to deal with these issues and can give u specific coping mechanisms.

4. understand the disorder. food 100% gives off the same effects as many drugs, and many highly processed foods even contain ingredients meant to make u addicted to them. when you eat junk food the reward circuit in your brain activates, and it increases your dopamine and serotonin levels. depending on many different factors like your genes, childhood trauma, and overall mental state, food can be easy to become addicted to. food addiction is a mental health issue, and it involves the same areas of the brain as drug addiction. but, according to studies, it only takes six weeks of healthy eating to stop depending on junk food. there will be withdrawal symptoms within the first week-two weeks. examples: sadness, tiredness, cravings, increased irritability.

5. be stronger than the food. food doesn’t control u, you control you. remember the goal and stop letting a fuckin burger and some cinnamon toast crunch boss u around

[soberloosid1]

How to Use a Sobriety Tracker for the First 100 Days

Navigating the journey to sobriety can be both challenging and rewarding, marked by moments of uncertainty, growth, and resilience. Whether you're considering using a sobriety tracking app or already incorporating one into your recovery journey, understanding its potential benefits and how to leverage it effectively can be instrumental in achieving and celebrating 100 days of sobriety.

The Role of Sobriety Trackers

Sobriety trackers, such as digital apps or calculators, serve as more than just a means of counting days. They are tools designed to help individuals track their progress, stay motivated, and connect with supportive resources and communities. For some, the visual representation of days sober can be a powerful reminder of milestones achieved and a source of encouragement during challenging times.

Benefits of Using a Sobriety App

Modern sobriety apps offer a range of features beyond day counting. They provide access to online communities, resources such as rehabilitation centers and therapy options, and information about addiction and recovery. These apps can help individuals create a support team, identify triggers, develop healthy coping strategies, and stay connected to professional counselors and peer groups.

Navigating Early Recovery

The first week and month of recovery can be particularly challenging as individuals adjust to a sober lifestyle, manage withdrawal symptoms, and develop new habits and coping mechanisms. A sobriety app can serve as a valuable companion during this time, offering reminders, journaling tools, access to counseling, and support networks to help individuals stay on track and navigate the ups and downs of early recovery.

Celebrating 100 Days of Sobriety

Reaching 100 days of sobriety is a significant milestone worth celebrating. It reflects dedication, resilience, and progress in the journey of recovery dating. A sobriety tracker can help individuals track their journey, reflect on their achievements, and stay motivated to continue their sobriety with confidence and determination.

Life Beyond 100 Days

Beyond the milestone of 100 days, the journey of recovery continues. Sobriety trackers can continue to serve as valuable tools in maintaining sobriety, managing triggers, and accessing ongoing support and resources. They can help individuals build a fulfilling life free from addiction and empower them to navigate challenges with resilience and positivity.

In conclusion, using a digital sobriety tracker can be a valuable asset in the path to 100 days sober singles and beyond. Whether it's through tracking progress, accessing resources, or staying connected to support networks, these tools can empower individuals in their journey of recovery and contribute to long-term success and well-being.

[thatone-highlighter]

I love Marcy because whenever i get too deep into thinking about my issues and i start to feel like shit i can just go “ha okay Marcy Kinnie” and turn it into a joke and continue to not think about it