#this is a bold statement but i love this photograph so much that it became an instant favorite

[onewithnomightypowers]

clandestine (chapter 5)

PAIRING: Tom Holland x fem!Reader

SUMMARY: Y/N is an up and coming actress, married to a once hotshot actor, Harrison (Haz). What happens when her co-star, Tom, makes her realise that she is stuck in a loveless marriage. A marriage starts crumbling and a new romance stars brewing.

chapter 5: the rumour has it

A/N: i do not encourage cheating. i hope you guys like this chapter!! feedback is always appreciated. thanks for reading <3

warnings: drinking, cursing

word count: 1.6k

important: bold and italic are character thoughts

series masterlist   main masterlist   chapter 4   chapter 6

The video of Y/N and Tom singing ‘SOS’ broke the internet. It was trending for at least four days. The whole internet, already on the witch hunt to find evidence of a relationship, was being fed. The paparazzi were circling around like vultures. The threat of being outed made them hide in their caves.

Haz was coming to London in two days. Y/N was trying to rid the house of anything and everything that hinted that Tom had been staying with her. Between the paps, shooting, and Haz, she couldn’t find time to meet Tom and give him his things.

There were Polaroids scattered all over the house. While she was packing a box to parcel to Tom, she found a Polaroid on her glass coffee table next to her ‘vanilla sage’ candle from Bath and Body Works. In the photo, Y/N was lying on her stomach on the hardwood floor in her living room, a gin and tonic next to her. Tom was sitting on the floor with his right arm extended to take the photo. They were both smiling.

She remembered when he took that photo. It was the same day she found a vintage vinyl of Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong’s ‘on verve’, during her exploration of Camden market. They decided to have a listening party of that album on the floor. Tom found his new favourite song that day, ‘let’s call the whole thing off’. She smiled at the memory. Instead of putting it in the box, she went into her room to put it in her wallet where only she could find it.

Y/N noticed her phone vibrating next to her purse. It was Harrison.

“Bonjour mon amour”,

“Hi Haz, did you board the flight?”

“Just did; listen you don’t have to pick me up from the airport, I know you are busy at work”

“Fine. Text me when you land”

“Su-“, she hung up the phone.

I can’t believe I have to live with this man for a whole week.

Haz came in late at night, even though his flight was supposed to land at 5pm. Y/N was already sleeping. When she woke up around 8 next morning, she found, much to her surprise, Haz snoring next to her. Last night she made sure that there was a pillow and a blanket on the couch for him, a subtle way of saying ‘I don’t want you sleeping in the same bed with me’. Also because she thought he knew about the affair and wouldn’t want to sleep next to her.

God, I wish I had another bedroom

Y/N was sitting on the bar stool with her laptop on the kitchen island, going through her mail while drinking coffee. Haz had just woken up from his deep slumber, and found his way to the kitchen to fetch him some coffee.

“Good morning!” she said enthusiastically, without looking up from her laptop screen. She had thought it was a sleepy Tom, coming out of the bedroom to make himself tea.

“Morning”, Haz said as a reflex, rubbing his eyes. Y/N’s smile disappeared upon hearing the sound of his voice.

“Did you make breakfast?” Haz asked while pouring himself coffee into a mug Tom had gifted Y/N.

“I made myself breakfast when I woke up, three hours ago. Was I supposed to make breakfast for you too?” It was a rhetorical question. Y/N noticed the mug, it made her uneasy watching a man she doesn’t love drinking from a gift given by the man she did love.

“There’s eggs and bread in the fridge, help yourself”, she pointed at the refrigerator.

As Haz cracked open an egg on the pan, Y/N received an email from Greta.

“Good news, Netflix bought the distribution rights to Greta’s movie, she just sent me a mail”

“Oh”

Oh? Seriously, oh?

“They are planning the premier for this Friday, do you want to go with me?”

“I don’t think so, I don’t really like the people you work with” he was putting butter on cold bread.

There is nothing more tragic than love turning into hate. Tragedy had struck their marriage. The rest of the week, they only spoke when they absolutely had to. It was like living with a roommate, you share a bed with but cannot share your day with.

--

It was Friday, the day of the movie premiere. Y/N was excited to see Tom after a week without him, which felt like an eternity to her. She was wearing a silver colored floor length gown with heavily studded earrings. Her hair was up in a bun with two strands out, to shape her face.

Since it was Netflix, the event could afford to take place at the Royal Albert Hall. Y/N had only been there once, for an Arctic Monkeys concert. When she stepped out of the car, she was met by blinding lights of the cameras. She walked over to the whole cast on the red carpet. The only thing she could hear was the deafening noise of photographers screaming to look towards them and in between, tabloid journalists asking her questions about her life and rumours.

Y/N was still pretty new to walking red carpets because she had mostly worked on indie films that couldn’t afford a grand premiere as most of the money would go towards entering different festivals. Y/N was wearing a mask of pure joy on her face but Tom could see right through it. He could see how uncomfortable Y/N was feeling.

He walked towards her, “you look gorgeous darling” he whispered in her ears and for a second that mask she was wearing became real. They both posed together, but regretted it immediately. The whole media went on overdrive, seeing them together.

“Are you guys seeing each other?” a person from the left screamed.

“Y/N, did you leave Harrison?” someone from the right asked

The voices were coming from everywhere. All they could do now was walk off the carpet. Tom had arranged for Y/N to sit next to her during the screening. His hand was linked with Y/N’s the whole time. He could feel her shivering.

“Are you cold?” he asked her.

“Not really”, she took a long pause. “I am just nervous about my performance in the movie and I guess the questions really got to my head, it’s all making me very anxious”

“Don’t worry babe, everyone is going to love you in the movie, and those hunters out there are shell of a person, all they care about are these bullshit rumours. They don’t deserve a house in your thoughts”

“Shhhhhh” someone whispered from the row above theirs.

Y/N’s phone was vibrating, it was Harrison’s fourth call in fifteen minutes.

Why is he not getting the hint that I don’t want to talk to him

She ignored it.

A few minutes later, her phone rang again.

What if it’s serious?

She got up and went outside of the theatre to take the call.

“What is it, Haz? You know I’m busy right now”

“Umm, are you Y/N?” A man with a heavy, older voice said.

“Yes?” She was confused. “Who is this and how do you have my husband’s phone?”

“Your husband is trashed, ma’am. He passed out on my bar counter about half an hour ago. Your number was on his emergency contact list so I'm calling you to pick him up”

“I’ll be right there, can you tell me the address?”

“Yeah sure it’s 141 Albert Street, Spread Eagle”

Tom came out of the theatre.

“Is everything okay, Y/N?”

“I have to go pick up Haz, he’s splashed out on a bottle somewhere, bloody fool can’t even walk”, she said whilst texting her driver to pick her up.

“Do you want me to go with you?”

“No, I need to deal with this alone”

She walked out the back gate and got in a black Audi.

The paparazzi had noticed her early departure, so they started following her recklessly.

It was a corner pub, the bar was at full capacity. Y/N saw Haz with his head down on the counter, an almost empty tequila bottle next to him.

“Haz wake up, come on, we need to go, get up darling” Y/N was trying to shake him awake.

“O-oh Y/N, y-you’re he-ear”, he was slurring his words.

“Yeah now let’s go”

He started to get up, Y/N had her one hand on his back and the other on his forearm, to support him.

“Honey I th-think I’m going to puke”, he looked sick.

“Is there a restroom here?” She asked the bartender. He pointed towards the corner of the room, a dimly lit area.

“Thank you”. She helped Harrison to walk to the restroom.

The washroom felt like their marriage. They were cramped up in it. The whole room was pure white but also yellow, caused by the lack of cleaning. There were no windows and had only one white florescent light. It was suffocating. The room made her realise that she could not hide from the inevitable, anymore.

Has was on his knees, holding on to the toilet seat with his dear life, puking all the poison out. Y/N was standing near the sink, taking off her statement earrings. She could see a vulnerable Harrison in the reflection of the mirror.

“I want a divorce”, she whispered, loud enough to be heard in this stifle room.

@mysticapples17  @storybookholland

[artificialqueens]

Wrong Side of the Moon (Trixya) - DenDenMonMon

Of Lovers, Friends and Everything in Between. Part 7.- Trans Katya

Title: Wrong Side of the Moon Category: M/F Summary: “I’m Brian,” he said with a heavy exhale. Katya smiled as she looked out the window. “I used to know a Brian.” Notes: I felt like writing something darker, deeper, kinda angsty; let’s see if this turns out to be it. Written: April 28th, 2020 - May 3rd, 2020.

Wrong Side of the Moon

Katya had seen the minivan more than once by now. She wasn’t sure how many times, but she had seen the car going around before. Surely last weekend, maybe the one before that, too. She had photographic memory, and the white vehicle, with little stickers on the backseat’s window, was unmistakable to her.

She elbowed the girl standing next to her, without taking her eyes off the car. “My admirer is back,” she said before lighting up a cigarette and bringing it to her lips.

Kennedy followed the direction of Katya’s stare and saw the headlights being turned off. “Oh, oh. He had never stopped before, though. Are you gon’ do something?”

The smoke left Katya’s lips deliberately slower than normal. She felt sexy when doing so. She knew she looked good; she looked hot. The dark sky didn’t have a single star in sight, the only lighting was provided by the yellow street lamp that had become her best friend. It accentuated her curves just enough to highlight her fit body, but not too much to reveal any imperfection.

She stood there, back against the wall, one arm wrapped around herself, and the other finding support on it to put the cigarette to her lips. She didn’t move, not just yet. She needed to assess the situation. There was something about the bald man behind the wheel that intrigued her. He seemed to be hiding. There wasn’t much of him she could see, even when her eyes had learned to identify shapes in the dark.

One didn’t become a lady of the night without refining one or two senses.

He was nervous, of that Katya was sure. With a sigh, she figured she might as well get this done and over with.

The point of her black leather boot stepped on the butt of the cigarette, and she started her way to him. She purposely swayed her hips with every sharp step she took. The high heels resounding against the pavement reminded her she was the one in charge. And she liked that power.

This routine she knew rather well. She went over to the passenger window and waited for the guy to roll it down. Making sure to bend over slowly, she supported her forearms on the door in a way that pushed her breasts together, and tilted her head in a seductive angle.

“Bonjour,” she let out slowly, enticingly. “You looking for some fun tonight?”

The man faced away from her, his eyes went from one end of the street to another. He seemed to be making sure nobody saw them. He nodded to himself. Katya could see the cogs in his head turning, the inner battle of a first-timer. She could almost hear the voice inside his head, telling himself he could do this, that it was going to be okay, that nobody was going to find out.

When he finally looked at her, his eyes widened in surprise. “Oh, wow. You’re beautiful.”

Katya innocently brought her chin to her shoulder. “Thank you. So kind of you.”

For a moment, nobody said a thing. He observed her and she let him. He was admiring her, in a way that -maybe- nobody had done before. She was used to people looking at her, to have women judging her. She was used to men undressing her with their stares, to pinpoint the moment when she became a sexual object to them. This man wasn’t like any of them. His stare travelled across her face almost lovingly, taking in the beauty of her features. This adoration actually made her feel more uncomfortable than any previous objectification.

“You are, like, very beautiful,” he let out in a whisper.

“I mean, it’s not like I will get tired of hearing it,” Katya said, flipping the ends of her curly hair. She had just cut it herself, and she loved it. The blonde waves ended right above her collarbone, and the bangs were just long enough that they played with her lashes when she blinked. “But, I’m on the clock here,” she continued. “So, unless you are planning on repeating that as you fuck me, I need to go back to my spot.”

He choked on his own breath, surely not expecting her to be as bold and direct. “I-I…” he stopped, trying to control the stumbling of his words. “Wow. Okay. You see, I’m looking for, umm, something in part–” He shifted in his seat. “I just wanted to know if you were… Oh, God. I don’t know how to explain this without sounding mean. Like, I don’t wanna insult you.”

Ah. She had been right. This was his first time. She could have fun with that, play mind games, make him feel embarrassed; most of her tricks liked to be put down like that. Again, he wasn’t like any other client she had had before. Just as fast as the idea had crossed her mind, it was gone.

She nodded her head, agreeing with his silence instead. “You want to know if I’m a girl with a dick,” she said it so easily, so casually. “And I am. Yes, sir. Is that a deal maker or breaker?”

The answer to her question came in the form of a door unlocking. She smiled widely, feeling a sudden relief she wasn’t expecting. She jumped in, pulled the visor down and opened the mirror. Yes, she looked good.

“So, you wanna hear tonight specials or–” she started but was immediately interrupted.

“I want it all,” he said without hesitation.

Katya liked that.

“Very well, then. I live a few blocks from here. Go right on the next light and I’ll guide you from there.”

She buckled up as the engine came to life. He did as he had been told and turned the corner, waiting for her next instruction.

“What’s your name?” She looked at him expectedly. She wasn’t sure if he was the type that would give his actual name but she kind of hoped that he’d be honest.

“I-I’m…” he made a pause, directed his attention to her for a second before staring back at the road in front of them. “I’m Ken,” he said. “My name is Ken.”

Oh, so a fake name it was.

“I’m Yekaterina Petrovna Zamolodchikova,” she introduced herself. She spoke fast, in the confusing way that she loved, and got the reaction that she wanted. “But you can call me Katya.” She waved a hand in front of herself. She couldn’t precisely shake his when he was driving. “So… Ken,” she drawled the name, emphasizing its fakeness. “You are married.” It wasn’t a question, she was stating the fact.

He looked down, to the ring on his finger, and gripped the wheel a little tighter as he nodded.

“And how old is your kid?”

This time he fully turned to face her, his eyes were wide in shock.

“Oh, I just saw all the Barbies,” Katya pointed her thumb towards the backseat, as a way of explanation. “I’m just trying to keep the conversation going, you don’t have to–”

“My name is not Ken,” he suddenly blurted out.

“I know,” she responded with a smile. Her hand landed on his thigh, physically telling him it was okay. “At the stop sign, take a left.”

“I’m Brian,” he said with a heavy exhale.

Katya smiled as she looked out the window. “I used to know a Brian.”

The rest of the way was spent in a comfortable silence, just two people that shared the same space. No words were needed to fill the air between them. Not even the radio was playing, but nobody noticed. The car moved through the empty streets slowly. They had no rush; if anything, the trip ended too fast. Sooner than expected, she was pointing him where to park.

The building was the very last of the many towers. Usually bathed in light, either by the hot sun or the tender moon. That was the reason why Katya kept lightbulbs at the minimum. The apartment was small, and she liked it like that. She also liked to maintain it messy during the night. She never made the bed when a client left the place, she left the condom wrappers on the floor, the bottles of lube stood open on the nightstand. It was a statement. The men that went there could have her for the hour, for the night even, but they didn’t own her. There were others before them, and there would be more after them.

Brian stood by the door, his hands stuffed in his pockets, as that same realization dawned on him.

“Come, come,” Katya encouraged him. “Why don’t you take a seat while I change into something less comfortable?”

With a nod, he took the seat she was offering and watched her leave. She closed the bathroom door and leaned against it with a sigh. She had literally lost count of how many guys she had brought home, how come this time felt so different? There was something special about Brian, she had sensed as much weeks prior. When he drove in circles, always looking but never stopping. He made her nervous, but in a good way. Like when she was about to ride a roller coaster, anxious about the unknown but fully aware that everything was going to be okay. The way he was so enamoured by her, even without knowing her, made her stomach go up in knots.

No.

She couldn’t go down that road.

This was just another gig; business as usual. This was a first-timer and she was going to give him the night of his life. Not because she had the idea of maybe, possibly, developing feelings for this stranger. No. She was a professional who had a job to do, and she was going to do it right. That thought went through her mind as she changed. She wore her favorite red lingerie, with garters holding her lace stocking in place. From the cabinet, she pulled her backup lipstick and reapplied the bright scarlet shade on her lips. The full length mirror showed her an image that she liked.

It was showtime.

Brian was sitting right where Katya had left him, quietly observing his surroundings. His hands rested on his knees, his feet were a little too close together. It was a cute picture. One that she interrupted just by walking into the room. He immediately straightened his back at the sight of her. She pressed herself against the doorframe, arching her back and bringing her hands up to her breasts. Her mouth opened sexily, as her body slid down slightly before coming back up. Stretching her arm, she grabbed a remote control from a shelf and the sound system came to life, playing one of her favorite songs. The notes were slow and sensual, and the foreign language made everything more mystical.

Ever so slowly Katya made her way to him. First she went around the chair, her steps synchronized to the beat. Her hands glided from one of his shoulders to the other, her nails scratched his neck slightly. She spread his legs and stood between them; finding support on his thighs as she moved to the sexy rhythm of the music. Her body knew how to dance without asking her brain about the next step. The music dictated her every move and she responded. She turned around and bent over. Her ass was right in front of him. She swayed her hips side to side on tempo.

The unmistakable sound of a zipper becoming undone was heard, he surely couldn’t take it anymore and had to free himself.

Brian swallowed hard. “Ca-Can I touch you?” he asked oh-so-respectfully.

She answered his question by grabbing his hands and putting them on her ass, one on each cheek. He lost no time. He started caressing her, his fingers softly kneading the flesh of her butt. Time seemed to stop when she felt his lips on her skin for the first time. Her eyes closed by themselves at the tender gesture. His mouth followed the outline of her panties on one side, then moved to the other. Meanwhile, the palms of his hands drew imaginary circles on her hips, keeping her in place as he left a trail of butterfly kisses.

The song ended. Nothing came on next. Complete silence surrounded them until it was broken by his voice.

“Turn around.”

It was a command, one that Katya could only obey. She did. She straightened her back, and spun to face him, having to look down to do so. His hands went around and found her ass again, only to push her closer to him. This time, his mouth went straight to her stomach. He kissed her skin a few times before his tongue ran against her toned abs. His touch was so delicate, so tender, so hot.

The lace panties did nothing to hide her erection. She was hard, and wet. An incessant throbbing pushed against the red material, making it clear she was ready. He was taking his time to travel across her torso, though. It was almost as if his mouth was taking a print of her every curve.

“Will you tell me if I’m doing it wrong?” he spoke against her skin. “I have never done this before.”

“I will,” she promised, unable to form a full sentence when he was making it hard to even breathe.

Finally, his fingers hooked on the waistband of her underwear. He looked up at her, asking for permission. She nodded effusively. She wanted him, she needed him.

Brian surprised her yet again by releasing a deep sigh; the corners of his mouth curled up, threatening to break into a smile. He pulled down the soft material, leaving it to stretch at her shins. His eyes went up and down her length, the loving gaze had turned darker now. Adoration had mixed with lust, and it was an extremely erotic combination; but there was still something stopping him from touching her.

Katya gave him time, allowing his desire to fight his logic. On the outside, he was so calm and relaxed, but she knew better. She could tell that in his mind, there was a hurricane, trying to tear away everything that had been nailed down by society. He needed to get rid of any preconception left in him if they really wanted to see this through. And, even when she was more than happy to be there to help him, it was a decision he had to reach all by himself.

Her hand cupped his face, and he leaned into her touch. He was letting go. He was ready.

She guided him forward, and he wrapped his hot mouth around her, sucking slightly. Her other hand went to the back of his head, setting the pace. They were soon pulled into a trance, where nothing else existed but them. No other sound could be heard but her soft moaning, and his wet mouth around her. She didn’t fuck his face, as she was used to doing with other men. He blew her at the speed that she wanted. He sucked her off with a certain clumsiness that was almost charming. His hands went up to her breasts, pressing and releasing to the rhythm of her thrusts. It took his fingers pinching through the fabric of her bra, to have her cumming hard inside his mouth. He flinched in surprise but didn’t allow her to pull away, he kept on sucking until she was done; licked her clean until she was soft again.

Katya offered her hands to help him up. “I–” It was probably the first time she was left speechless. She literally had no words to express what had just happened, what she had just felt. “Now let’s take care of you.” She decided to go safe, to pull the attention away from her; to focus on the person actually paying to be taken care of.

Brian shook his head. Lowering his hand, he pulled the hem of his plaid shirt. “There’s no need. I kinda, umm… I’m good.”

“Oh!” Katya looked up, catching the sadness in his eyes. “Hey, it’s okay. We can just call it a night.”

“No.” His answer came out faster than his thoughts. “Please,” he begged. “Not yet.”

Their bodies were so close together. Katya was sure that, if she inhaled deeply, their torsos would be touching. Nonetheless, he was still out of her reach. Even when he stood there, towering her, with eyes that pierced right into her soul, he was so, so far away.

One of his hands went up to her face, his thumb ran against her cheekbone. His eyes scanned her features. “You’re so beautiful,” he told her in a whisper, only for her to hear. “I can’t get over it. It’s unreal.” With every word that left his mouth, his head moved closer.

Katya closed her eyes, expecting to feel his lips on hers, but it didn’t happen. His forehead landed on hers instead.

“What do you wanna do now?” The question came out matter-of-factly, she truly was willing to do whatever he asked her to. She had agreed to comply with his every desire since the moment he finally stopped the car across from her corner.

“Would you fuck me?”

She felt his breath against her skin as he voiced the request. She couldn’t help herself. Stretching her neck, Katya captured his lips with hers. They were soft, just like she had imagined them. His kiss was even softer. Brian tilted his head, pecking right at the corner of her mouth and made his way to the center. He sucked on her bottom lip slightly, ran his tongue against it, and released it. She tasted herself as soon as he pushed his tongue passed her lips. Suddenly, something primitive took over her. She grabbed his face with both hands and pulled him, if possible, even closer. Their noses bumped together, their teeth crashed with each other, their tongues met outside their mouths.

With shaky hands she rid him of his shirt, meanwhile, Brian sneaked his hands behind her and undid her bra. They took on the task of undressing each other in a matter of seconds.

Katya guided him to the bedroom, and they sat on the bed. “As bad as I wanna fuck you right now,” she admitted. “I’m gonna need a few minutes to get things going again; if you know what I mean.”

“Oh, God. Yeah, sure. There’s no rush… I mean, I don’t know about you.”

She simply smiled, pushing him to lay on the mattress. He scooted over until he reached the pillows and she laid next to him, resting her head on his chest. One of his hands immediately started caressing her back. She toyed with his free hand, running a finger on his wedding band.

“Are you sure you don’t have to go home?” She spoke placing kisses around a nipple, unable to stay away from his skin. “Where does she think you are right now?”

Brian sighed. “She doesn’t ask any questions.”

This time Katya fully looked at him, supporting her chin on his chest. “She doesn’t, huh?”

“Nope,” he answered her rhetorical question. “I guess that’s the key to our relationship working so well. Most couples believe in talking, we believe in silence. She will always love me, no matter what.”

“She sounds amazing.”

He smiled. There was a sweetness in his face that Katya couldn’t help but envy. She wondered if anybody had smiled like that when thinking about her.

“She’s the best.” He didn’t talk to Katya. He stared at the ceiling fan as he spoke to the air around them. “We grew up in the same small town, so I guess we learned to be together the old fashion way. You know the type. She gets up early and makes me lunch, irons my shirts, feeds the baby. Like those housewives you see in the old movies, and she has that classic beauty too. I’m lucky to have her by side. She does so much to keep my life together.”

Silence enveloped them then. Katya did her best to analyze his face as he got lost in thought. The room was dark, and only part of his body was illuminated by the moonlight. A few rays made it through the blinds, softening his features and making him look almost like an apparition. It couldn’t be real. That moment couldn’t be happening. He had such a good heart, and was clearly trapped between who he wanted and who he was expected to be. Something, or someone, had forced him to become this family man, to have a wife and kids and carry on an impeccable life. The only issue was that he didn’t seem content with the results, he had gone to her, after all.

“Brian, why are you here?” Katya had never had filters; she always went straight to the point, and this time was not going to be any different. “You have this amazing, picture-perfect family, and you are spending the night with a transexual hooker. I don’t get it. Are you gay?”

His eyes snapped to look at her, yet the soothing motion of his hand never stopped roaming her shoulder blades. “I thought I was,” he confessed. “I always knew I wasn’t like everybody else, like all the other boys. They used to call me names, so I went, found the prettiest girl in town and married her. What point was I trying to prove? I don’t know. I guess I always knew, but I needed to hide it. Then I heard some coworkers talking about you girls. Maybe if I gave it a try…” he trailed off, leaving her to connect the dots and finish the sentence for him.

“We get a lot of those.” She nodded. “Men usually want something, like, in the middle, so they go after the dolls.”

Brian tried to shrug, Katya’s weight still rested on his arm. “I guess you can put it like that, but not really. If I’m being honest, I didn’t think I would come across someone like you. No offense, but, in my head, I was looking for a man in a wig, sorta. Never did I think I was going to find this whole woman.”

She didn’t mean to, but Katya couldn’t help but burst out laughing. It was a nervous response to such a sincere comment. A part of her still needed to learn how to take compliments without finding it funny.

“Why me?” The question left her lips without asking her permission. The tone of her voice went back to serious.

“I don’t know. You just… made me feel things. When I first saw you, you were leaving with a guy. It felt like, when you get in the car, the radio comes on, and you catch the tail end of your favorite song. I don’t know if that makes sense. If only I had gotten there a few minutes earlier. I knew it had to be you, but I was too late.”

If he had planned to continue his crazy analogy, she didn’t let him. Before she knew it, she was kissing him. She thanked him for his beautiful words in the only way she knew how. Her mouth found his in a desperate kiss. It all happened too fast, she needed more and more of him. In a quick move, she placed a leg around his hips and pulled herself to straddle him. The only reason why her lips disconnected from his was to find his neck. She nibbled tenderly, finding a small bundle of nerves that made him moan loudly.

His hands took a hold of her hips, forcing her to stop. She hadn’t noticed she was rubbing against him so aggressively.

“Katya.”

The name left his lips for the first time. He said it slowly, tasting each of the letters as they bounced off of his tongue. His chest physically contracted at the sole mention of her name.

His eyes lit up.

The hurricane had dissipated.

He was finally free.

It took a simple stretch of his neck to connect their mouths again. He seemed to be the one losing control by then. Something animalistic took over him; he attacked her lips with complete abandon. Her name was pronounced repeatedly, like a mantra between breaths of air and hungry kisses.

Katya was pulled into a dreamlike state the more he adored her, the more he made love to her mouth with his. She could see the bond being created. The connection between them transcended flesh and logic, reaching a spiritual level that she had only dreamed of. Yet, as magical as this experience was, she needed more. The carnal desire was still there, growing and growing, consuming her.

Their lips parted out of pure necessity to pull air back into their lungs.

“I will now proceed to eat your ass, is that okay?” Katya spoke as she looked at him straight in the eye.

Brian nodded slightly. The mood of the room had changed, it wasn’t charged with fear anymore. The expectation was electrifying, fueled by desire and want, not doubt and uncertainty. It was the perfect setting for a man and a woman to unite for the first time.

He looked angelical, bathed in light, completely nude, both in body and soul.

She took her time to travel down his body. She kissed the birthmark on his chest, played with each of his nipples before she moved on to his stomach. Her lips marked his skin with prints made of deep red. It seemed like no inch of him was going to be left untouched, but she purposely avoided where he needed her the most. Her arms hooked under his knees, pulling them up to have better access.

The first touch was a soft kiss, which provoked a high pitched moan from him. Katya smiled against his skin, proud of herself. The sounds emanating him only encouraged her to keep going. She pulled every trick she knew, and ate his ass like she had never done before. Part of her wanted to stay there forever, making him feel good, using her tongue to take him into unknown levels of absolute pleasure. Her own need soon became too much, she needed to be inside of him, and she needed it yesterday.

A whimper escaped him when she moved away. It took her seconds to get a condom and the bottle from her night stand; and not even a minute later she was positioning herself to enter him. The cold finger, covered with lube, came first, making him jump a little.

“Baby, look at me,” Katya requested.

Brian complied the best that he could, his stare tried to find her face through hooded eyes.

“I need you to talk to me, okay?” she continued. “If it hurts, if it becomes too much, if you like it. Bitch, especially if you like it.”

“Oh, God. Just put it in, already.”

A wicked smile took over her face at his command. “Relax.” Her voice was soothing, and she immediately felt him loosen up. Her hand helped him prepare to take her and, after a few minutes, she could feel he was ready. “I’m going in now.”

Brian screamed in pleasure as she filled him, inch by inch. She moved painfully slowly, giving him time to adapt to her size, but he took her just fine. He felt tight around her, and she had to try extra hard not to roll her eyes. She wanted to take in every single one of his expressions. She wanted to drink in how his face distorted in satisfaction when she started to move. There was no need to go hard or fast, she unhurriedly moved in and out, easily setting the pace.

The sight displayed in front of her was enough to pull her over the edge. Brian had an arm across his eyes, his mouth was wide opened, expelling screams, whimpers and moans. His chest went up and down unevenly as he tried to breathe, and feel, and exist, all at the same time. More importantly, she could see his hard on right under her. His penis was big, really big. It bobbed against his stomach with every thrust. The harder she pushed into him, the harder it would bounce. It was a hypnotizing motion. She suddenly wanted it inside her mouth, and her want didn’t precisely ask physics if it was possible. She was flexible and he was rather large, her body simply figured she could do it.

Bending forward, and taking advantage of her hold on his legs, she pushed his hips up. Before she knew it, she had part of his erection in her mouth while, at the same time, pushing herself inside of him.

Quick as a bolt, his eyes snapped open, not really understanding what was going on. He felt her sucking him. He felt her thrusting into him. She was in him and yet all around him. It literally provoked an overload in his system, causing him to nearly pass out as he came long and hard inside her mouth. She swallowed his full climax while still rocking her hips. It wasn’t until she was sure he was done that she basically slammed into him, finding her release with a scream herself.

The emptiness of their aftermath was suffocating. The room smelled like sex, it smelled like poetry as two bodies physically disconnected yet bonded in levels beyond rational thinking.

Katya dropped into his arms. She could feel sweat dripping down her spine, her bangs sticking to her forehead, and her make up was probably a mess; but she didn’t care. Not when she had his warm hand caressing his back, and the cold moonlight caressing her front.

“Oh… my… God!” Brian let out between chuckles. “I-I honestly had no idea. Like, I didn’t know it could be like this.”

Katya smiled, running a fingernail around his belly button. “It is when you hire an expert.”

It was a joke, it was meant to be a joke, but her words were enough to make the curtain fall. The magic had ended, the spell had been lifted. He had hired her. She was a hooker and he was her client. Nothing more. She had promised herself she wouldn’t forget that, and she did. It was about time to regain control of the situation.

She pushed herself up. “I gotta go change. Just leave the money on the dresser.” She pointed at the exact spot as she stood by the bed. “You can see yourself out, right?”

Brian sat up. “What the fuck? Are you serious? You don’t expect me to just leave, do you?”

Katya scrunched her nose. “I kinda do,” she said in a childish tone, accompanying her words with a pout. Another facade to keep people at arm’s length.

He didn’t move.

She sighed. “Okay, look, if you want, we can do this again another day. Right now I gotta go. I need to go back to my girls.”

Katya didn’t know if she had suddenly developed X-ray vision, or if he was just a transparent being, but she could literally see the connections in his brain trying to make sense of the situation. He was confused, he was angry, almost sad. And he traveled through several waves of emotions in a matter of seconds, until it finally clicked.

“At least let me drive you back,” he offered.

“It’s only a few blocks.”

“Katya… please,” he begged.

It was too late to say no, not when she had given him more of herself than she had anybody else. So she agreed. They both got dressed. She fixed her hair and make up in the bathroom, and he watched from the bedroom, through the partially opened door. He held her by the waist as they made their way to his car, and he held the door for her as she got in, closing it after pressing a soft kiss to the side of her head.

“You know,” he spoke to her, but wouldn’t face her. He occupied himself in settling in the driver’s seat. “I wish I had known you sooner. Things woulda been a lot different, I think.”

“Maybe in another life,” she suggested. “Maybe we already met, you know, in a previous one. It kinda feels like it.”

“Maybe,” he agreed with a nod.

The short drive was done in silence. He left his open hand between them, and her self control lasted less than a block. She intertwined her fingers with his and didn’t let go until they reached her spot.

Brian stopped the car, but didn’t put it in park. She got the hint, the sooner it was all over, the better.

“Well, if you ever want to see me again, you know where to find me.”

“I will, I will. I promise. Thank you… for tonight.”

Trying her best to hide a smile, Katya got down from the car. She spotted Kennedy standing right where she left her, so she concentrated all her will power in making her way to her friend, without looking back. If she did she would surely run back to the car, and ask Brian to take her away with him.

“After a long night of hooking,” Kennedy recited to the night air.

“Shut up, you stupid whore.”

Katya laughed openly, happily, as a white minivan, with stickers on the backseat’s window, drove away.

[evecolours]

MEGHAN MARKLE HAS FILED A STRONG RESPONSE TO THE MAIL ON SUNDAY’S DEFENCE TO PUBLISHING A PRIVATE LETTER SHE WROTE TO HER DAD

THE DUCHESS OF SUSSEX IS ACCUSING PUBLISHER ASSOCIATED NEWSPAPERS LTD (ANL) OF MISUSING HER PRIVATE INFORMATION, BREACH OF DATA PROTECTION RIGHTS AND INFRINGEMENT OF COPYRIGHT

LAWYERS NOW REVEAL TEXT MESSAGES TO THOMAS MARKLE FROM THE DUCHESS, AND HER HUSBAND PRINCE HARRY, SHOW SHE DID CONTACT HIM FOLLOWING HIS HEART ATTACK BEFORE THE ROYAL WEDDING

THEY CAST DOUBT ON WHETHER MR MARKLE WAS THE ACTUAL AUTHOR OF ONE MESSAGE ANL ASCRIBES TO HIM

PRINCE HARRY IMPLORED MR MARKLE NOT TO GO “PUBLIC” AND SPEAK TO THE MEDIA AS IT WOULD “BACKFIRE”, WHILE THE COUPLE REASSURED HIM AND OFFERED HELP WITH SECURITY

MR MARKLE WAS ALLEGEDLY NOT GOING TO ATTEND THE WEDDING IN ANY EVENT AMID EMBARRASSMENT OF MEDIA COVERAGE ON HIM, SINCE WHEN:

ANL HAS ALLEGEDLY SOUGHT TO “ATTACK AND INTIMIDATE” THE DUCHESS IN ITS LEGAL DEFENCE AND IN PRINT

THE Duchess of Sussex has taken a wrecking ball to the Mail on Sunday’s Defence in her unprecedented legal action over the controversial tabloid’s publication of a private letter she sent her father Thomas Markle.

The 33-page document pushes back strongly to the newspaper’s publishers own 44-page case which seeks to justify allegations of misuse of the Duchess’s private information, breach of Data Protection Rights and infringement of copyright.

Byline Investigates was the first this morning to break the story of the latest legal filings in the case. Now we can reveal more detail about the Duchess’s lawsuit and its deep negative effect on her family.

Meg and I are not angry, we just need to speak to u... speaking to the press WILL backfire, trust me Tom. Only we can help u, as we have been trying from day 1

— Prince Harry's text message to Thomas Markle

The Duchess’s legal deposition, lodged Friday at the High Court in London, accuses Associated Newspapers Ltd (ANL) of trying to “attack and intimidate” her in “the Defence and in print”, adding to the distress of it publishing a “deeply private communication” described by ANL itself as “a moving letter to her estranged father”.

Her action is seen as bold, and a break from the establishment, as the Royal family is traditionally reluctant to fight back against press intrusion. Commentators have warned Ms Markle’s legal action against the Mail on Sunday risks revenge from Britain’s infamously powerful billionaire-owned press lobby.

ANL is accused of publishing the article for its own “self-serving commercial interest” rather than, as the company claims, to “set the record straight” on behalf of Thomas Markle over a letter she wrote him after he posed for paparazzi photographs.

The Duchess in her deposition describes Mr Markle as a “vulnerable” man “harassed and humiliated” by ANL’s media outlets in a string of stories, adding: “It is the Defendant’s (unlawful) actions that give rise to the Claimant’s claim, and not her father’s conduct.”

She goes on to say the true reason for Mr Markle’s refusal to attend the wedding on May 19, 2019, was the result of him “being so publicly shamed by the Defendant” for having staged paparazzo photographs, and that this was the case even before he started having heart problems in the week before the ceremony.

Please please call as soon as you can.. all of this is incredibly concerning but your health is most important

— Meghan Markle's text message to her father Thomas

Mr Markle himself – who ANL is calling as a witness in the case – described one of its journalists as writing an interview with him containing “lies and bullshit”. ANL is also accused of being the cause of the “dispute” between Mr Markle and his daughter.

In the document, the Duchess refers to details of a series of text messages she and Prince Harry sent to Thomas Markle that counter claims they did not enquire about his health and wellbeing following heart problems before their wedding on May 19, 2019.

TEXT MESSAGES

Among them are some written from the Prince in which he offers his future father-in-law help and also urges Mr Markle to beware speaking to the Press as it would “backfire”.

Other messages show the Duchess was worried about Mr Markle’s health, pleaded with him to contact her, asked where he was in hospital, and offering him a security detail, which he declined.

The Mail on Sunday and ANL are basing their justification for running parts of the letter - which it wrongly claimed it was presenting “in full” - on the content of an interview with a friend of the Duchess’s published in US magazine People on February 18, 2019.

The article makes references to the letter she wrote to Thomas Markle five months earlier and therefore, ANL says, the Duchess must have been the real driving force behind the piece.

The Duchess had written the private letter in question after Mr Markle posed for paparrazo pictures in an apparent effort to curb a trend of being victim of snatched and unflattering photos appearing in the media, having had reporters camp outside his home for prolonged periods.

The Duchess is expressly denying any prior knowledge of the People interview – and says the references it makes to the content and intentions of the letter were wrong. Her lawyers point out that that had she been involved in the story, the references would have been accurate.

The Duchess says she only later found out her friends had acted of their own accord as they were “extremely concerned at the aggressive attacks” as the Duchess was “vulnerable as well as heavily pregnant” with son Archie at the time.

The document says: “As she later discovered, following visits to see her in London at the beginning of 2019, some of her close circle of friends became extremely concerned at the aggressive attacks upon her in the media and the palpable and profound impact which this was having upon her, especially as she was vulnerable as well as heavily pregnant at the time.

“As a result, one of her closest friends decided that they should help by arranging to give anonymous interviews to this American magazine whose Editor was a very good friend of hers in which they might explain what the Claimant was truly like (as opposed to the tabloid portrayal of her).”

The document adds: “In particular, the Claimant had no knowledge that her friends would make any reference to the Letter or its contents, the intention of sending it, or the response that her father sent, nor would she ever have agreed to this being done had she been made so aware.”

In its Defence the Mail on Sunday characterises text messages from Harry and Meghan to Thomas as being uncaring and self-serving.

But the Duchess says it “intentionally” omitted any references to the Royal couple’s attempts to protect Mr Markle and ensure his safety in a “highly partial” and “tendentious” summary of her text messages to her father.

To counter the Defence allegations, the Duchess has taken the step of revealing the full contents of a key period of text exchanges with Mr Markle.

In one series, sent May 14, 2018, Harry, using his wife’s phone, urges Mr Markle to beware getting in to bed with the Press, which – he says – “created this whole situation”.

The Prince wrote: “Tom, it’s Harry and I’m going to call you right now. Please pick up, thank you.”

It was followed by another message saying: “Tom, Harry again! Really need to speak to u. U do not need to apologize, we understand the circumstances but ‘going public’ will only make the situation worse.”

Harry’s message went on: “If u love Meg and want to make it right please call me as there are two other options which don’t involve u having to speak to the media, who incidentally created this whole situation.

“So please call me so I can explain. Meg and I are not angry, we just need to speak to u. Thanks.”

He added: “Oh any speaking to the press WILL backfire, trust me Tom. Only we can help u, as we have been trying from day 1”.

The legal document explains that instead of speaking to his daughter, Mr Markle issued a public statement through US gossip website TMZ that he had gone to hospital because he had suffered a heart attack, and that was the first she knew of his condition.

The next day - May 15 2018 - Ms Markle wrote to Mr Markle, in a message ANL described in its Defence as “merely” asking him to call her.

In fact, the message, according to the Duchess’s papers, went much further.

It read: “I’ve been reaching out to you all weekend but you’re not taking any of our calls or replying to any texts… Very concerned about your health and safety and have taken every measure to protect you but not sure what more we can do if you don’t respond…Do you need help? Can we send the security team down again? I’m very sorry to hear you’re in the hospital but need you to please get in touch with us… What hospital are you at?”

Another message from the Duchess, sent around 10 minutes later, said Mr Markle’s health was her primary concern, and offered him the protection of a security team.

Meghan wrote: “Harry and I made a decision earlier today and are dispatching the same security guys you turned away this weekend to be a presence on the ground to make sure you’re safe… they will be there at your disposal as soon as you need them. Please please call as soon as you can.. all of this is incredibly concerning but your health is most important”.

Mr Markle, the filing reveals, responded by saying he was okay, would be in hospital “for a few days”, and refusing the offer of security, prompting pleas from his daughter to let them help, with Harry sending on details of the security team in another message, sent from her phone.

Mr Markle responded in the evening of May 15, saying he appreciated the offer but did not feel in danger and would instead recover at a motel, the Claimant responded 10 minutes later to make a further request for the hospital details so that she would know where he was.

The Duchess’s lawyers go on to suggest that an emotive message attributed to Mr Markle - and which informed various articles attacking the Royal couple, including one particularly strident assault by Mail on Sunday columnist Piers Morgan in a Daily Mail piece – may not in fact have been written by Mr Markle.

Indeed, the message from Mr Markle was so suspicious - the filing says it may have been someone pretending to be him - that Prince Harry responded to it saying: “Tom, it’s Harry, please answer your phone. I need to know this is actually you because it doesn’t sound like you at all”. The document says no response was received.

The Duchess also denies ANL’s claim Mr Markle had tried to contact his daughter after her wedding on various occasions by phone and text, including one on November 25, 2018, allegedly saying: “I want to reach out to you or try to reach out to you one more time. You apparently have just written me off and now it’s telling me I guess for the rest of my life?”.

Instead, the Duchess says she had one missed call at 4.57am on 19 May 2018 (the morning of her wedding), but no further text messages or missed calls from Mr Markle at any point afterwards, including the one ANL alleges was sent on message on November 25.

The ANL Defence is largely built on whether or not the Duchess was involved in an article of February 2019 in US magazine People, which cited five unnamed friends of hers criticising her treatment in the media, which was described as “global bullying”.

The filing accepts that interviewees made a “passing reference” to the letter Meghan had written to Thomas – but not that it in any way supports ANL’s claim it meant she intended their private correspondence to be published.

In its official Defence, the Mail on Sunday argues the Duchess’s right to privacy in her communications and family life under the Human Rights Act 1988 should not apply, in part because she is wealthy and a member of the British Royal family.

Publisher ANL also say letters should not to be regarded as private unless they contain “the author’s deepest or most personal feelings” - despite itself casting the disputed letter as: “Meghan pours out her heart in moving letter to estranged father”.

Further, ANL insists, the Duchess could have no “reasonable expectation” to privacy because she didn’t expressly ask her father not to publicise the letter, and because she wrote it neatly by hand without spelling mistakes which, the publisher suggests, meant it must have been intended for the world at large to read.

ANL goes on to claim a legitimate interest in reproducing Ms Markle’s letter because its existence had been mentioned in passing by friends of hers during a “lengthy” interview with US magazine, People; an interview the Duchess says she “did not know” had been given, and which was not “accurate” about the letter.

The document reads: “The truth is that the author did not know that such an interview had been given or, more importantly, that any reference would be made to the letter (or the response to it), nor was the reference an accurate one, as it plainly would have been if it had been authorised or procured by her (which it was emphatically not).”

In trying to justify publication, ANL claimed it was trying to “set the record straight” on behalf of Thomas Markle - as opposed to “self-serving commercial interest”, as the Duchess alleges.

Her legal filing says the UK publisher was in fact the cause of any “dispute” with “vulnerable” Thomas Markle as it had, having first “harassed and humiliated” him in degrading articles and manipulated him into giving interviews, one of which he later described as “lies and bullshit”.

The result of the dispute was, the Duchess’s lawyers say, was substantial damage to his relationship with his daughter.” 

ANL claims it did not seek comment or approval from the Duchess ahead of publication - as is generally regarded as good journalistic practice - of the letter as it believed its words were “lawful” and its reporting too “objective” to risk anything that might “seriously interfere” with that.

But the Duchess’s lawyers say the real reason ANL did not seek a comment or consent to reproduce the letter or even give notification of its story was because it “knew perfectly well that it would not have been granted consent” and “it rightly feared that the Claimant would take action to prevent this obvious misuse of private information, breach of her Data Protection Rights and infringement of copyright.”

ANL is seeking to claim the Duchess’s letter did not amount to a private communication that would enjoy protection under Britain’s Human Rights Act. In addition, ANL claims the Duchess’s right to privacy is undermined by her position as a member of the British Royal family, and her financial situation.

However, the Duchess’s legal team wrote: “It is unarguable that the Letter was plainly private both in terms of its contents (as it contained the Claimant’s deepest and most personal thoughts about her relationship with her father) and the method in which these thoughts were communicated, regardless of how neatly they were presented or the fact that a copy of the communication was retained by her.

“Further, the Claimant’s right to privacy is neither proportionate to, nor dictated by, the (perceived) amount of money or privilege she has, nor can it be as a matter of law.”

On her letter, The Duchess admits she feared its contents might be “intercepted or stolen by a third party”, as at the time Mr Markle’s home in Rosarito, Mexico, was besieged by journalists.

However, that is not the same as, “nor could it possibly amount to”, a reasonable expectation that the contents of the letter would be published in a newspaper, the filing states.

Of the neatness of her writing, the document goes on: “This was the Claimant’s usual style of handwriting, as she had trained in calligraphy since she was at school and practiced it professionally to support her early acting career, as had been widely reported including by the Defendant in an article published in the Mail Online on 26 November 2018.”

The filing cites Thomas Markle’s own version of events, contained in correspondence to his daughter, surrounding an interview that he was “manipulated” into giving to MailOnline by its journalist Peter Sheridan.

It states: “Mr Markle refers to the behaviour of the Defendant’s journalists, and in particular, Peter Sheridan who manipulated him into speaking to the Mail Online, a conversation which was then presented in an article on 28 July 2018 as an interview of “almost nine hours” and as a full-scale attack upon the Claimant.

“As Mr Markle states in this letter (thereby contradicting a number of false assertions in the Defence, as the Defendant is well aware):

“The next day [Peter Sheridan] announced and bragged that he got a 9 hour interview. He said a few things I said in confidence, but 85% were lies and bullshit! I called him and told him he was a thief, a liar and a coward and I would GET EVEN!

“I didn’t want or intend to give him an interview and I certainly would not do 9 hours for free!…

“When I was asked if I tried to borrow money from you, three days before the wedding? I said, “no I did not, but I know she would have helped me if I would have asked.” I made a comment about Tom Jr [his son] not paying me back, “not one red cent”, and they changed it to Meghan’s dad complaining that his kids won’t pay him back one red cent!! That comment came from Peter Sheridan’s 9 hour interview....

“I never said anything about your grandma, never!! I know you took care of her, I don’t know where that comes from? I appreciate that you have always been concerned for my health and you were trying to get me help.”

The document continues to criticise ANL’s contradictory coverage of Mr Markle.

It reads: “The Defendant deliberately manipulated and exploited a vulnerable and fragile individual (as it was well aware), having previously published highly damaging and distressing stories about Mr Markle, exposing him to the world at large as a ‘Royal Wedding scammer’ for having agreed to pose for ‘fake’ photographs and then suggesting in its reporting that his ‘heart attack’ was also fake (apparently contrary to the Defendant’s position in this litigation), thereby creating the “dispute” which it (falsely) claims gave rise to the legitimate reason to publish the detailed contents of the Letter.”

The document adds that Mr Markle initially did not tell “the truth” about his paparazzo agreement ahead of the wedding, but that despite this the Duchess was still focused on finding a way for him to travel to London safely and reassuring him there was no ill feeling between them, even though he asked for her to pose with him for a “photo for the whole world to see”.

On the issue of breaching the Duchess’s copyright in relation to her letter, ANL is relying on a legal provision of “fair dealing for the purposes of reporting current events” - claims the Duchess’s lawyers rubbish.

They deny her private relationship with Mr Markle - about whom she had not spoken since 2014, prior to meeting Prince Harry – were a “current event that formed a legitimate subject of news reporting”, or that the use of the detailed contents of the letter for that purpose was “fair”.

Associated Newspapers Ltd is seeking to have parts of the Duchess’s claim “struck out” at an interim hearing in the case, scheduled to be held “virtually” on Friday from the High Court in London as a result of the Covid-19 pandemic.

Prince Harry is separately bringing a case against the parent companies of the Sun and the Mirror for alleged historical phone-hacking offences, as exclusively revealed by this website last October.

The case continues…

[hudgenssource]

Vanessa Hudgens Harper’s Bazaar Malaysia Interview

BREAKING FREE

Growing up from a Disney icon to a gun-wielding heroine, American actress Vanessa Hudgens has come a long way since her ‘High School Musical’ days, Ahead of her upcoming Netflix film ‘Tick, Tick ... Boom’ and current action comedy ‘Bad Boys for Life’, the former teen star gets down to business, revealing her stance on feminism, growing up in Hollywood - and how she’s dealing with that social media controversy.

By Amy Yasmine. Photographed by Kat Irlin. Styled by Anna Katsanis

What a difference a day makes. In early March, American actress and singer Vanessa Hudgens posted a selfie of herself dressed in a risqué metallic Saint Laurent bustier, paired with barely-there hot pants, big curls, and red haute lips. With a caption that read “That good good. No it’s not Thursday”, one can only assume that she was referring to her weekly #ThirstyThursdays feel-good posts, a series of stylishly curated body-positive pin-ups that had become her personal “revenge-bod” indulgence since her high-profile break-up with actor, Austin Butler. It certainly didn’t take long for the picture to attract more than a million likes, breaking the Internet with hundred of web articles from the likes of E! Online  to The Daily Mail. “Thank you for blessing us with this”, commented Netflix’s Chilling Adventures of Sabrina actress Kiernan Shipka, while Pretty Little Liars actress Ashley Benson declared her love for her fellow Spring Breakers co-star. Little did anyone realise, that the selfie was in fact a behind-the-scene outtake from this exclusive Harper’s BAZAAR Malaysia cover shoot in sunny Los Angeles, shot on location amid lush palm trees and clear blue skies. It was indeed a much simpler time then: malls were packed with countless shoppers, yoga centres were running at full capacity, and rush hour traffic in major cities would last for hours on end. But in a blink of an eye, the world changes overnight, and nothing else was ever the same.

Suddenly, social distancing and self-isolation became the new norm, and in a matter of days, we started to question our own health, safety and sanity. Oddly enough, this conscious approach juxtaposed the resulting series of TikTok dance videos and Insta Live workouts as millions of subscribers were given carte blanche to become their own Insta celebrities.

For Vanessa, this translated into an IG LIve video which saw the Disney actress voice her opinions on the worldwide pandemic, culminating in a social media frenzy which incited many to lash against The Princess Switch star. Of course, just as soon as she had realised her mistake, Vanessa released a statement on Twitter, apologising for her misstep of judgement. “I’m so sorry for the way I have offended anyone and everyone who has seen the clip from my Instagram Live yesterday” she confessed. “I realise my words were insensitive and not at all appropriate for the situation our country and the world are in right now”.

“I think it’s important to remember that no one’s perfect” Vanessa responded in our interview, barely days after her bold comment on the ‘gram. “All we can do is learn from our mistakes ... so I keep charging on”. A testament to her unrelentless spirit, one which she had undoubtedly molded since her High School Musical era.

Indeed, the half-American and half-Filipina actress was 17 when she was casted as Gabriella Montez in the now-iconic Disney film. Within a year, her music recordings for the movie’s soundtrack went on to dominate the charts internationally, with “Breaking Free” a duet with former on-screen/off-screen love interest Zac Efron, hitting #4 on the US Billboard Hot 100 and #9 in the United Kingdom. Through the years, the multi-talented actress released a number of solo albums, from V in 2006 and Identified in 2008, while also being inducted into Forbes’s “High Earners Under 30″ list in 2008.

It isn’t just chick flicks and family specials that propelled her into superstardom. There’s another part of Vanessa that’s altogether badass and empowering, which shone through the less commercial yet thought-provoking projects, like the cult coming-of-age drama Thirteen by Catherine Hardwicke, and of course, Harmony Korine’s 2012  Spring Breakers, starring James Franco and Selena Gomez. Here, her seamless ability to go from fresh-faced-girl-next-door, to a gun-wielding temptress stood out the most. Naturally, this chameleonic prowess to switch from one polarised character to another, has certainly helped in paving the way for her latest endeavour in Broadway and latest film Bad Boys for Life, let alone her rise as not just a feminist symbol, but as a role model to young girls everywhere.

Surely, in a post #MeToo world and today’s current state of panic, sisterhood, compassion and humanity are needed, now more than ever. And with celebrity culture being blown out of proportion, perhaps, it is a time to reflect, and be present. After all, to quote Vanessa’s 2006 High School Musical hit, “We’re All In This Together”.

You’ve come a long way since High School Musical. How do you think that experience and growing up with fame, has shaped you personally and professionally?

It’s made me stronger. Growing up in the spotlight is difficult. But going through things publicly gave me thick skin. The industry is tough and I’m grateful for my strength

Since then, some of the films you’ve starred in, like Spring Breakers and Thirteen, highlight some controversial issues facing women today. How do you think such films reflect back on our current state of society at large?

It’s important to see films where things are taken too far and observe how it plays out. It’s really crucial to be faced with the question “Where do I stand on that?”. That’s how you build your own character and understanding about yourself.

How much of these kick-ass slash empowering narratives appeal to you as an actress, especially now that you’ve taken the role of a cop in Bad Boys for Life?

I’ve always dreamt of being a badass action babe. I remember seeing Angelina Jolie in Tomb Rider and thinking to myself, “I want to do that”. It’s important for girls to see woman kicking ass and being empowered.

What was it like working with iconic actors like Will Smith and Martin Lawrence?

It’s so fun being on a set when there is already such an established relationship between the main cast. Will and Martin are both are such kind individuals and they’re so collaborative. Will always made sure everyone was looked after and having a good time.

Has it been hard transitioning from a Disney icon, to a badass female actress?

The beginning was the toughest time, because all people knew of me was from High School Musical. I really had to put in the work to expand my résumé and be seen in a different light. But I enjoy the process. I’m playing all different types of characters and constantly challenging myself to take on something new.

In February, the photographer Claire Rothstein released a video featuring yourself and other prolific women on female empowerment. What is your take on feminism?

To me it’s about seeing yourself as someone you respect and being treated that way. There’s so many different opinions about how a woman should be, and I think the only opinion that matters is your own. There’s still so much work to do when it comes to equality and equal pay, but the conversation is loud and I think with continuing in that direction we will make a difference!

As a proud half-American half-Filipina, how much of your multicultural background informs the person you are today?

I’m sad to say I still haven’t been to the Philippines and I feel like a piece of me is missing because I’m not as connected to my heritage as I’d like. But I am very much my mother’s child and she was born and raised in the Philippines with not a lot to her name. Hearing her struggles and her instilling her faith and spirit into me are my grounding pillars. But I was born in the States and raised as an American. It’s nice to have a piece of both.

If you were to choose between acting and singing, which one would it be?

That’s so hard for me. I grew up doing musical theatre so to me they go hand-in-hand but if I HAD to choose I’d say acting. Telling stories and stepping into someone else’s shoes are my real passion.

Going into Broadway - which seems to be the right juggle between the two - how do you mentally prepare yourself with such feats?

Being on stage is like being at home to me. You do all the preparation in a safe space and then finally have that moment where you tell the story and have the audience right there to react to it. You can feel if they are into it or not. It’s such an intimate special connection you have with the audience when you’re on stage. I get such a thrill from it.

With so much going right now, how do you take the time to just #SelfLive?

I’ve been meditating a bit more recently. I think with all the noise it’s so important to take time to drop in to yourself and release all the baggage we carry. I’m also such a fan of a good face mask, a glass of wine, and watching a comedy in bed. Also, a good meal. Taking time with it and really experiencing all your senses with each bite.

Without a doubt, it’s been quite an emotional roller coaster for you these past few years. How do you keep yourself motivated after all that has happened?

I think it’s important to remember no one’s perfect. We all make mistakes and probably will keep making mistakes. All we can do is learn from them and try not to make the same mistake twice. I’m so passionate about what I do and living my best life because we only have one. I don’t want to look back and say what if, so I keep charging on.

One of the greatest things about you is your ability to keep it real. How do you manage to do that, especially in Hollywood?

I try to make it a point to actively keep my life real. I’ve been through a lot but still have so much life to live. I always try to take a step back and see the journey and feel deep gratitude for it. I think when you lead with gratitude it’s hard to become jaded.

Speaking of keeping it real, what’s your take on being sexy and confident in this day and age?

For me, when I feel confident and empowered by my femininity I feel like I can conquer whatever I set my mind to. There’s power in that. If you believe it, you can do it.

[shelovescontrol91]

New Camila Interview

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/music/interviews/camila-cabello-latin-revolution-immigrant-america-industry-got/

The interview is locked unless you have a user so I posted it below. Bolded are some interesting parts

One afternoon in March 2012, Simon Cowell was taking a cigarette break backstage at Greensboro Coliseum in North Carolina, where he was judging auditions for the American X Factor, when he came across a girl lying on the ground, sobbing.

The girl was Camila Cabello. She had just turned 15, and for her birthday had asked her parents – Cuban immigrants living in Miami, who were making ends meet as a shop assistant and car washer – to drive her the 12 hours from their home to the auditions. Cabello explained to Cowell that, having been kept waiting for two days to see the judges, she had just been told by the producers that time had run out and she should go home.

“Apparently she was a reserve,” Cowell tells me over the phone. “So I said to her, ‘Listen, I’ve got no idea what you’re talking about, or what a reserve is, but since you’re here, come and audition.’ Five minutes later, she sang [Aretha Franklin’s Respect] in front of 7,000 people, and it was sensational.”

Cabello has a pint-size frame and a gigantic, intoxicating voice. What it lacks in technical finesse it makes up in youthful passion and romantic melodrama. Cowell installed his charismatic young discovery as the (unofficial) lead singer of a group comprising four other female contestants, and Fifth Harmony was born. After finishing the competition in third place, they signed to Cowell’s Syco label, becoming a sort of sister act to his other X Factor protégé group One Direction. Within months, Fifth Harmony had racked up a platinum-selling debut album of chart-friendly feminist anthems, a sold-out world tour, two performances at the White House and tens of millions of young fans.

For Cabello, that was just the start. Last year, Havana, the second single from her number one debut solo album, became the sound of the summer. An ode to the city where she was born and raised, featuring slow, sensual vocals layered over a Cuban-style piano riff, Havana made the singer the first female artist to achieve a billion streams for a single song. Whether or not you’re a fan of Cabello, you’ll have heard it.

This summer, the 22-year-old has repeated the impossible. Señorita, a Latino love song from her imminent second album featuring fellow pop star (and, as of July, boyfriend) Shawn Mendes, has once again conquered the charts. Talk about power couple: according to Spotify, the online music-streaming service, 21-year-old Mendes and Cabello, who picked up two MTV Video Music Awards for Señorita last week, are the most listened to artists in the world after Ed Sheeran. “Havana was a once-in-a-lifetime kind of success, and she’s just… done it again,” says Cabello’s manager Roger Gold, who first met the singer while serving as Fifth Harmony’s lawyer. “We never thought it would be this massive.”

When I repeat Gold’s words back to Cabello over an oh-so-millennial oat milk latte in a vegan café in Montreal – the latest stop on Mendes’s world tour – she grins. “It was the same with Havana,” she says, keeping an eye on the windows for the fans that have been camped outside her and Mendes’s downtown hotel since the couple were photographed ambling adoringly around the city together the day before.

“Everyone said to me, this is a Latin song, it could never be the single. Label heads and friends were saying I needed to add more production, that it was too slow,” continues Cabello, before absent-mindedly pouring coffee on her grey cashmere jumper and earnestly imploring me for laundry advice. We dab her sleeve with water as Cabello tries out my accent. “I’ll have a flaaat whiiite,” she drawls, mischievously, again and again until steer her back to the story. Persuaded that Havana would never get radio play, Cabello released Crying in the Club as her first solo single instead. But when the album was released, it was Havana that listeners pounced on. 

“It was surreal: kids were coming up to me asking, ‘Are you Havana?’” she says. The song was nominated for two awards at the Grammys, where Cabello became the first female Latin artist to open the ceremony.

Cabello’s grip on the charts is part of what Gold calls “a ground shift”. “Latin artists have gained enormous global acceptance in the pop world in the last few years,” he says. Until 2017, a Spanish-language number one was vanishingly rare, limited to Enrique Iglesias, Shakira and novelties such as The Macarena. That changed when Luis Fonsi and Daddy Yankee’s 2017 Despacito, written entirely in Spanish, became the most-streamed song in history.

That same year, the number of Spanish-language songs in Billboard’s Hot 100 jumped from three to 19; this year’s tally is already at 16. Such is the influence of Latin culture on current pop that Madonna’s Madame X album single Medellin, released in April, featured Columbian reggaeton star Maluma, and breakout Spanish star Rosalia’s modern spin on old-school flamenco graced the John Peel stage this year at Glastonbury. In between, of course, came the juggernaut of Havana. 

Cowell says he never really thought about Cabello’s Latin roots when he met her. “And then of course it occurred to me years later, that she was turning things around.” He has since had success with another Latino group, CNCO. “So maybe I owe a lot to her.”

Even singers of non-Spanish heritage are now cashing in on the genre, as Justin Bieber proved with his hugely popular remix of Despacito. “It’s definitely annoying when people take things, but sometimes I’m inspired by things that aren’t necessarily my culture,” says Cabello. “I think with globalisation, genre doesn’t exist any more. It was surreal hearing people sing the chorus to Havana. So many young people had never even heard of the place.” 

Cabello donated the proceeds from the song’s music video to support young, undocumented immigrants known as DREAMers – those who entered the US as minors and are seeking resident status. Her YouTube channel has been inundated with messages from Latino fans thanking her for making them feel more welcome in America. Cabello suffers from anxiety and tends to steer clear of social media but when I mention the messages she clasps her face with both hands and her eyebrows shoot up under her curly fringe. “Really? That makes me so happy. That’s why I want to tell my story, because when I saw pictures of what’s happening at the border, my heart was broken. That’s my story too.”

Cabello was six years old when her mother, an architect, carried her across the Mexican border, telling her daughter that they were going to Disneyland. “I have this one memory of my mother taking me into a gas station, but that’s it,” she says. They were detained for 22 hours before being allowed to proceed to Miami. Her father, originally from Mexico City, joined them illegally a year later after swimming across the Rio Grande. “I didn’t know what was happening,” Cabello tells me. “I just had a Disney calendar and I crossed off every day until he arrived. 

“It’s why my mum loves that film, Life Is Beautiful,” she says, referring to Roberto Benigni’s Oscar-winning comedy about a Jewish father and son taken to a concentration camp during the Holocaust. “Obviously I’m not comparing my story to that in terms of, you know… but it’s the same idea of a parent pretending it’s a game to protect their child.”

Cabello’s as yet untitled new album, out later this year, is a tribute to first love. She describes the experience in terms of the 2001 film Amélie, which she watched for the first time last year. “Before, I was Amélie,” she says, comparing herself to the film’s titular dreamer, played by Audrey Tautou. “I was just living in my own imagination. I didn’t go out and meet people. I didn’t really make any friends. Amélie’s thrills are the smallest things, like being looked at.” 

As a child, she hated attention so much that she would cry when people sang Happy Birthday to her. Her X Factor audition was the first time she had sung in public, and helped her realise she could transform on stage. “Now I’m like Amélie at the end of the film, when she falls in love for the first time and breaks out of her shell.”

Of the 72 songs Cabello wrote for the album, only a small number will appear, each one dealing with the minutiae of relationships. Keen for me to hear some, Cabello summons her mother Sinuhe, who travels with her daughter everywhere and arrives at the café with an iPhone on which she plays me two new songs. One is a heavy, gothic ballad reminiscent of vintage Avril Lavigne; the other, a Latino song carried by a powerful brass section that makes you want to get up and salsa.

As with her last album, Cabello has a writing credit on every track of the new one – a rarity in an era when so many hits are manufactured by teams of writers and producers. Is she making a statement? “No, but I need to tell my own stories,” she says. “I still regret my first single, Crying in the Club, because I didn’t write it and it didn’t feel like me. I had the chorus to Havana, but I went with what was safe, what industry people said had worked before. Turns out, no one has a clue.”

When Cabello uses the word “industry”, her expression, usually warm and trusting, becomes uneasy. The absence of freedom she experienced early in her career as part of a label-curated girl group appears to have bred a distrust of the system. 

“Fifth Harmony was like its own separate person. It’s like we were serving Fifth Harmony,” she says, tugging on the sleeves of her grey cashmere cardigan. After Cabello left the group in 2016, she was accused of betrayal, and things got nasty – when the four remaining members opened the MTV Video Music Awards in 2017, an elevated platform showed the silhouettes of five women, until one was unceremoniously shoved off the stage as the performance began. “It’s so normal for groups to disintegrate. I think it has to be some miracle for five people to stay together,” she says. "I’m so interested to see what makes it different for Little Mix [and X Factor girl group still going strong since they formed in 2011]”. 

In 2020, Cabello will make her next career move – into acting. James Corden personally picked her to star in and contribute to the score of a modern musical version of Cinderella, which he is producing. “He saw my L’Oreal advert where I was basically just being an idiot, and he thought that was cool,” she explains. She sounds a little daunted – and is currently taking acting classes – but it feels like the obvious next chapter in a life that is taking on a fairy-tale dimension of its own. 

“You know what,” Cowell had told me before hanging up. “I would never have guessed, all those years ago, that when I met someone who was having the worst day of her life, who was crying at the back of that arena, that now we’d be having this conversation. Can you believe it?”Camila Cabello’s new single is out on Thursday

[forever-rogue]

Supercut - Part II

Summary: Roger didn’t know how good he had it when Y/N was his. But when Y/N became Deacy’s, he realized he had messed up.

A/N: Thanks for yo’all’s support on this far! The response is over whelming my darlings! Enjoy! Taglists and Requests are open! xx

Pairing: Roger Taylor x Reader (former) and John Deacon x Reader

Word Count: 3.4k

Warning: angst, language; general sadness

Inspired by Queen’s You’re My Best Friend and Lorde’s Supercut, both of which I recommend you listen to :)

MASTERLIST HERE!

One Year Prior

"What is this Roger?" Y/N asked as pushed a newspaper towards him. They had been enjoying a late breakfast after he had spent the night over. Everything was fine, until Y/N had fetched the morning newspaper. That’s when her whole world was shattered.

He furrowed his brow as he set down the coffee mug he had been drinking from. Confusion was written all over his face, but he could tell from the tone in her voice that she was mad. His eyes briefly flicked up to meet hers, and anger was evident in them. He swallowed the lump in his throat as she remained wordless and stared him down until he grabbed the paper and looked at it. Roger’s heart immediately fell as he realized what was going was on the front page.

There he was on the front cover, halfway through a laugh, cigarette hanging out of his mouth, his arm around a woman’s shoulders. A woman that was clearly not Y/N. His mouth dropped open at the photograph as he quickly scanned the headline Rockstar Roger Taylor Out With Another New Woman. He didn’t move a muscle as he stared at that damned picture of himself.

"Did you fuck her?" Y/N asked quietly, trying to hold back the tears she felt welling up inside her. It was a hard and cutting question, he was almost surprised by how she said it. She was normally so sweet and gentle, but her tone was of someone who had been hardened. He didn't say anything for a moment, instead get a heavy sigh as he crumbled up the paper, "well, did you? Answer my question, darling, did you fuck her?"

"Yes," he finally admitted after a few tense moments of silence. The air was so thick you could have cut it with a knife. She dropped her head and nodded, almost to herself, like all the suspicions she had been answered. She always wondered about him, especially when the boys were gone. She had hoped, prayed even, that she was wrong about him and he wasn’t cheating on her. But, Roger was Roger after all, and old habits die hard.

"That's the third time, Roger. The third fucking time," she stated. It wasn't a question, rather it was a statement of facts. She turned away from him so he didn't her to see her cry, "God, what a bloody idiot I've been. I should have known after the first time. But no, I believed you when you said you'd change. I believed all the times you apologized and surprised me with flowers and gifts. I should have known that you would never change, Roger. I suppose this is my own undoing really."

"Y/N, love," he stood up and walked over to her, but she just stepped back, flinching out of his touch, “please - it didn’t mean anything. It was just sex, that’s all!”

"Don’t you dare touch me!" she hissed at him. The look on her face made him want to curl up and die. The fact that he was so nonchalant about everything made her even more upset. Y/N’s face was a mixture of heartbroken and angry, "how can you say it was just sex? Just sex?! Roger, do you even remember what I asked you when we first got together?"

"What-"

"I asked you to say faithful to me. That's all I asked of you. It’s so simple, really. I knew what you were like, I'd known for years, seen it with my own eyes, but I finally decided to say to hell with it all and agree to go out without you. Years you asked me out and I said no every time. I should have just said no, but I didn’t. I gave you a chance, " her face was red and splotchy now. Y/N was trying her best to control her rage and not cry. She didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of seeing her cry "and that's all I asked of you, Roger. Was it really so hard?"

"I didn't mean for it happen," he croaked out. He crossed his arms over his chest, his head hanging in shame. He was angry that she found out, but he also angry with himself for doing it in the first place. Roger couldn’t even remember why he did it, "it just did. I’m so sorry.”

"Oh, you just fell into bed with her? Did she accidentally mean to blow you too? Did she do it how you like?" she was almost amused at this point, his excuse was so pathetic, "the first time it was an accident, the second time you were drunk, and now it just happened? What’s next? She forced to you fuck her?”

"I'm sorry," was all he managed to stammer out, “I’m so so sorry, my love.”

"You know, things happen and I get that. But you don't see me out there with random men. Because I gave my heart to you. And you just keep ripping it out and stepping on it and yet I keep coming back. I told myself it would be okay, you would change, you loved me. But I guess I was just never good enough for you, I was never enough for Roger Meddows Taylor," she walked over to the door of her apartment and opened it, "not this time. We're over, Roger. I don’t want to see your face anymore.”

"Y/N, please," his head was spinning with her revelation. He knew she was mad, but how could it be over? He panicked, unsure of what to do, "this doesn't have to be over. I love you!"

"That’s the thing, Roger, I loved you. I always did. But I guess you never loved me," she admitted, a sad smile playing onto her features,  “everything you've done has shown me the opposite. Now leave."

"Y/N-" he walked over to her, trying desperately to get her to understand that he did love and he did regret his actions, but she just shook her head at him, her eyes narrowed in anger, “love-”

“I said get out!” she pointed out in the hallway, making it clear that it was time for him to leave, “and don’t come back. I don’t want to see you anymore.”

Roger took one last look at her, his eyes glossy as he nodded and stepped out of her apartment. She slammed the door behind him as soon as he was gone. He sighed and wiped at his eyes, not sure what to do. He wanted to run back in there and beg for her forgiveness and ask her to take him back, but he realized that ship had sailed.

Y/N picked up the phone, quickly dialing John’s number with shaking hands, hoping that he would be home. She played with the cord, wiping at her eyes as the phone rang, “come on, Deacy, please answer.”

“Hello, this is John,” he answered after what seemed like an eternity. She felt a small sigh of relief, trying to keep her composure. Just the sound of his voice already made her feel better.

“It’s me,” she said, pinching the bridge of her nose, trying to keep her voice steady and even, “are you busy? I was just wondering if you could...you know, what never mind, it’s silly-”

“Y/N, what’s wrong?” he could immediately tell that something was wrong by the intonation of her voice, “did something happen? You can tell me anything.”

“Have... have you seen the paper? From today?” she asked, and she could hear him shuffle around on the other end. After a few moments she could hear his gasp, “yeah, it’s great stuff, isn’t it? It was a wonderful way to start my morning.”

“Are you home?” she could hear the concern in his voice, along with someone else’s voice, “Bri and I are going to come over, okay? Just hang tight.”

“Yes, I’m home,” she couldn’t hold back the tears now. Her voice was shaky and broken, and John felt his heart ache at her sadness, “thank you, Deacy.”

“It’ll just be a few minutes, okay love?” he said and she murmured a response and he bid her goodbye before hanging up.

“Is she okay?” Brian asked as John pushed the papers toward him and he skimmed the article on Roger. He was beyond furious at his best friend’s actions. He took the newspaper and stuffed it into trashcan.

“I don’t think so,” he admitted as they quickly grabbed their things to head over to Y/N’s, “she sounded pretty upset. I think she was crying.”

“Rog’s really gone and fucked things up,” Brian shook his head as he followed John out of his apartment, “I wonder how he’s going to explain his way out of this one. And it’s Roger, so you know he’ll try.”

Y/N had to pull herself up off the floor when she heard knocking on her door. She pulled down her sweater sleeves and dabbed at her eyes before opening the door. She knew she must have looked a sight, but she didn’t care, her best friends wouldn’t mind. Opening the door slowly, she peeked out and saw John and Brian eagerly waiting for her on the other side.

“Oh love,” John said as he stepped in and wrapped his arms tightly around her. She didn’t say anything, instead held onto him for dear life, crying silently into his shoulder. She didn’t know how much she had needed some basic human touch, especially from her best friend.

Y/N and John had been friends since they were in primary school, and had been inseparable ever since. He was the reason she had met Roger in the first place. But unlike Roger, John had always been there for her. John had always been there to pick up all the pieces from her breakups through the years.

He had always watched from the sidelines, wishing he was bold enough to make a move on his own. He had loved her afar for many years, hoping she would feel the same way, never quite sure if she felt the same way.

“Deacy,” she finally said after a few quiet moments where he just held her, “this was the third time. The third.”

“What?” John and Brian chirped in unison. They hadn’t known about the other two times. Neither she nor Roger had ever told anyone about the other times. She sniffled a little bit, collapsing on the couch and beckoning for the two of them to join her.

“I could never bring myself to admit it to anyone else,” she admitted, running a hand through her disheveled hair. John sat down next to her and pulled her close, put his arm around her shoulder, “I kind of thought that if I didn’t say it or bring it up it’s almost like it never happened. Out of sight out of mind, ya know?”

“Why didn’t you tell us?” John asked softly, and he could feel her shrug. Brian gave her a sad smile, “we would have tried to help.”

“I guess I was too ashamed,” she said quietly, “I thought it must have been me. Like I wasn’t good enough for him...he would look at me with the saddest of eyes and apologize, telling me he was so sorry and he’d never do it again. He said he loved me and it was a mistake. It didn’t mean anything.”

“He just told you it was an accident?” Brian asked incredulously, shaking his head at Roger’s nerve. He knew the man had poor decision making skills, but for it to be so bad, “what a right wanker.”

“He said it just happened,” she throw her hands up in exasperation, “how could I be so stupid and take him back? I guess I just convinced myself that I needed him. That I loved him.”

“Do you love him?” John asked quietly, almost wishing he didn’t. Now was not the time for him to make a move. Frankly, he wasn’t quite sure if he wanted to know.

“I don’t know,” she said, doubting herself, “I suppose yeah I do. I can’t even deny it. I love him, but I’m not in love with him. He’s still one of my best friends.”

“Are you even going to be friends with him?” Brian was shocked at the her kindness. Someone who had completely screwed her over, and yet she was still willing to extend a hand to him.

“I can’t not...” she said, tapping her chin thoughtfully, “you’re all my best friends. And besides, I can’t exactly only hand out with three out of four members of Queen. He always going to be there.”

“That doesn’t mean you have to like him, just be cordial,” John suggested and she scooted closer to him. She always felt so safe and sound in his arms. She bit her lip for a moment, wishing she was in the same position but under different circumstances. Y/N wondered for a moment why she had never just admitted to him that she had liked him.

“Yeah, I suppose you’re right,” she agreed.

“Roger shouldn’t be allowed to get away with all the shitty things he’s done. He should be held accountable and you don’t owe him anything,” Brian explained as a knock came at the door. They exchanged curious looks, “were you expecting anyone else?”

“No,” she shook her head, and started to get up to answer the door. John put his arm out to stop her, and stood up in her place, padding over to the door.

He cracked it open, making a face at whoever was on the other side, “what are you doing here, Rog? Why’s Freddie with you?”

“What are you doing here?” Roger’s voice was gruff and he seemed annoyed by John’s presence, surely hoping to get Y/N by herself. He just couldn’t let it go.

“Bri and I are here to support our best friend,” he said as he squared himself up, trying to block him from getting in the door, “who told us about everything.”

“Now, darlings, there’s no reason to fight,” she heard Freddie’s voice and almost rolled her eyes. She wasn’t in the mood to listen to a speech about how everything was going to be okay.

“Let me in,” Rog insisted as he kicked open the door and stepped inside. Brian stood up in a protective manner, shielding Y/N from Roger’s line of vision, “what are you doing? I need to speak to Y/N.”

“You need to leave,” he said in a firm voice, but Roger just chuckled and shook his head in amusement, “did you really think it was a good idea to come back here now? Haven’t you done enough damage?”

“What do you mean?”

“We know, Roger,” John said as he walked back over, and he let out a small groan, “we know everything.”

“What’s going on here?” Freddie asked, thoroughly confused as to what everyone was arguing about. Roger had neglected to tell him what happened and exactly why Y/N had decided to break up with him. He had made it sound like a simple old fashioned dumping.

“You didn’t tell him?” John asked as he scoffed at him, “you just forgot to tell Freddie what you did to her?”

“Will someone just please tell me what’s happened?!” he asked as he stormed into the middle of the room. Y/N stood up and glared at Roger, stepping out from behind Brian.

“I told you to leave, Roger,” she said quietly, but the anger was clear. Freddie looked at her, with a sad expression on his face, “you can’t even man up and tell your best friend what you did. Tell him! Tell Freddie!”

“Y/N, don’t-”

“Don’t what? Tell him the truth?” she glared at him before turning her attention to the enigmatic frontman, “He cheated on me, Freddie. For the third time. I found out when I got the newspaper this morning. And you know what he said? It was a mistake! It just happened.”

“Roger, what the fuck did you do?” Freddie’s face turned into a look of anger as he turned to the blond man, “is this true?”

“Yes,” he admitted, throwing his back unsure of what to do, “I did it, okay? I know I’m the bad guy here.”

“Great,” she gave him a fake sweet smile, “now leave. I told you I didn’t want to see you again. Now get out. Freddie, you’re welcome to stay if you’d like.”

“Y/N, please let me explain,” Roger begged, but Freddie was already tugging on his arm, trying to get him to leave. He didn’t see any way of this ending well unless he got Roger out of there.

“Leave! Get out!” she grabbed the vase on the table next to her and chucked it at this head. It hit the wall and shattered mere inches from his head, causing him to flinch. Brian put his arm around her, holding onto her before she could grab anything else and hurt herself or him.

Roger finally seemed to get the idea, dashing out of the apartment, Freddie close behind. Freddie paused for a moment, sticking his head back in and giving her a small, sad, smile, “I’m so sorry, darling. I had no idea. I’ll call you later, okay? I’m going to make sure he doesn’t kill anyone.”

“Goodbye Fred,” she said as he gave her a nod and closed the door. Y/N sighed, burying her face in her hands, feeling overwhelmed again, “I can’t believe this is happening.”

“I’m going to and make sure Freddie understands exactly what happened,” Brian sighed as he headed for the door. He felt like he was always the one to hold everything together. He was level headed and calm it did make sense, “more so, I need to make sure he understands exactly what Roger did.”

“Thank you, Bri,” Y/N said softly as she hugged him and pressed a kiss to his cheek. He gave her a small smile as he waved and headed out the door.

“What am I going to, Deacy?” she sighed as she leaned against the door. Her brain was going a million miles a minute as she tried to process everything that had happened. He came over to her, brushing a stand of hair behind her ear.

“Everything will be okay,” John tried to comfort her, put his arm around her shoulder. He guided her towards her bedroom, deciding that some rest was what she needed. She had no trouble following him, comforted by his presence, “I think a good lie down is in order for you.”

“I could just sleep for days. I want to sleep away this nightmare,” she sighed as she flopped onto her bed. The bed was still disheveled and messy, unmade from her and Roger the night before. They had made love the night before, both of them in blissful ignorance of what to come as Roger made her cry out his name several times.

She suddenly felt dirty and wrong. In her moment of anger, she stripped the sheets, shocking John who stood there watching but not interrupting, as she tossed everything onto the floor. Once done, she felt a wave of relief, kicking the stuff out of her sight. She went to her closet and grabbed some fresh blankets tossing them onto the bed, not even caring that the bed was made properly.

“Come on,” she poked Deacy’s side as she crawled under one of the blankets. He tilted his head at her, looking a her curiously, “get in the bed, silly. We’re going to nap!”

“Oh alright,” he gave in like it was such a chore for him to join her. She stuck her tongue out at him, “hey!”

“You think too much,” she said as threw some blanket over him and snuggled up to him. He put his arm around her waist and held her closely. They had been in position many times over the years, but it never meant as much to him as it did today. It felt a little different, like it was something new all of a sudden, “there’s always so much going on in that mind. Tell me, John Richard Deacon, born August 19, 1951, what’s going on in there?”

“What do you mean?“ he asked swallowing nervously, hoping she wasn’t onto him. She giggled and tapped the tip of his nose, causing his cheeks to heat up.

“You know what I mean,” she insisted, “you look lost in thought. It’s always the quiet ones you need to watch out for. The secret weapons.”

“I am none of those,” he said, suddenly feeling more bashful. He was never one to take credit for or brag about all of his hard work, “I’m just me...just Deacy.”

“Not according to Freddie and me, and everyone else,” she said quietly as she yawned and closed her eyes, “you’re so much more than you give yourself credit for.”

“Be quiet and get to sleep, you don’t know what you’re saying,” he laughed at her. She made a sound of content as she rested her head against his chest. He was sure that she could hear how fast his heart was beating, but she didn’t comment on it.

After a few moments, once her breathing had evened out, John yawned and stretched, making sure to not disturb Y/N, “I love you, Deacy.”

The murmur was so quiet, but it warmed his heart up. He didn’t say anything, wondering if it was a mistake or something of the sort. Instead, he was grinning from year to year as he held her tightly, closing his own eyes, and letting the sweet embrace of sleep win him over.

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[yamadcs]

wey hey, it’s a me...a madio here at long last!!! but rlly i’m mads, i’m twenty, and i’m in pst so im almost always fashionably late to things set with est time in mind. my last meal would be chicken alfredo but that feels really wrong bc i’d really love to own a chicken someday....anYWAYS moving on to the serious stuff! this intro is probably a shit show but so am i so it fits...i tried to keep it concise but who rlly knows idk pls plot with me

( NANA KOMATSU, CIS FEMALE, SHE/HER, MUSE M ) did i just see CONSTANCE YAMADA touching down in italy ? rumor has it this 22 year old DIRECTOR is on their way to reunite with the brat pack.

so first thing’s first, as promised, constance has two moms!!! one of them is an actress and the other is an activist (specifically feminist and lgbtq+ rights if that matters) and they’re both extremely well-known within hollywood. 

her activist mom is definitely outspoken on social issues and she taught constance to be too, so the family is definitely known for pushing buttons in hollywood if only because they voice their very strong opinions VERY loudly. she probably had a lot to do with herself and her wife being ostracized in hollywood, or otherwise branded as brats. her actress mom, however, is much more soft spoken and was once probably an america’s sweetheart type. she’s a classic beauty, an actress that had so much potential until her reputation began to dwindle. she still acts, though in much smaller projects, and appears to be happy simply maintaining a home life (spoiler alert, she’s cheating). she taught constance humility and self-love

her mothers are so loving to her and to each other that she’s definitely a big romantic, however she’s also extremely naive so i’m sure that will pose a lot of issues in terms of plots and whatnot. she literally grew up witnessing true love at all times and is so in awe of her mothers’ relationship that she strives to have something just like it 

sPEAKING OF NAIVETE! constance’s mothers actually shielded her from the spotlight until she was about 15!! her parents were really nervous about putting her in the limelight because they didnt want her to have a fate similar to theirs (the blacklisting and public humiliation of being branded) so they kept her life as private and “normal” as possible. rather than having a private tutor, she simply attended private schools so that she could have a semi-normal social life. her parents were very cautious about who she spent time with, which led her to be a bit sheltered. she had lots of friends, but she was never allowed to go to their houses and they needed extensive screening before being allowed at hers, so it was easier to just keep her friendships at school. it wasn’t until she got to high school and made the choice to insert herself into the media that the world truly met constance, and she’s been basking in the hollywood glow ever since

being lonely is actually part of what ignited her passion for film. she had so much free time at home during her early years that she stumbled upon a tub of old movies, as well as the video recorder that was used to capture them. from then on, she was in love and it seemed that no one could pry that camera from her grasp. years 5-10 of her life feature many clips of her moms’ double chins and feet, the angles of a girl too small to see the rest of the world. 

i like to think that the first real paparazzi pictures ever captured of her and published across the nation featured her at a rally with her moms, holding a sign and very proudly leading a chant for the right for her mothers to legally marry. she’d been photographed before, of course, but none of them never made as bold of a statement and those pictures are what truly began her entrance into the spotlight, which was extremely intense and trying. 

since the world was so desperate to know the daughter of two notorious starlets, it only made sense that they would do nearly anything to obtain that first private interview with her, those first talk show appearances, anything that she had never been able to do before. it was super overwhelming and she very quickly became aware of what vultures the press are

uhhh so yeah basically constance has only really been in the “spotlight” for the last 7 years, but she became very notorious and admired very quickly since her existence had been so “””normal”””” and basically mysterious to the public until then. like her moms posted pictures on their socials, but all of her own were private until then and the media only got to know her on a surface level so it was a drastic change both for herself, but also for the world

i’d like to think her friends, THE BRATS, are what really got her through it like once she started working in hollywood and getting more film projects and running into these ppl and building connections i think constance really would have relied on them as mentors (even if theyre rlly just manipulation her...plot idea ?) and just....ppl who understood what this type of fame was like and understood how crazy this transition was. like she went from eating cereal in the living room w her moms and living her lowkey life to being on magazines and becoming the new “GIRL NEXT DOOR” of hollywood and that’s....a lot

she is a pretty notorious director now like a lot of jobs were kind of just,, handed to her once she started but she proved she had real talent so her entire reputation is something she really built herself bc her moms tried to detach themselves from her career to give her a fair chance to prove herself and her own prestige but like,,, she literally loves filming people and directing them and it’s her whole ass life like she almost always has a film camera and/or an old video camera on her person at all times so watch out for that in the morning ladies and gents she will make u a star 

oh and if her career goes south she’s hella gonna go into the adult film industry she’s directing sexy time baby !

i feel like there is still so so much i could tell u all about her but i rlly hope that this sums it up nicely bc it’s getting so long and so ugly....bUT BEFORE I LEAVE I HAVE CONNECTION IDEAS AND ALSO i just wanna say i think she would be on??? pretty okay terms w the bratpack like i know she has select ones she doesnt get along w but theres probably a big part of her thats excited to be back with them and happy to be in milan meeting up with them all again so idk if that changes things but yeah my girl’s naive and loves almost everyone so pls,,plot with mE

CONNECTION IDEAS....just gonna drop some lame ones here rlly quick to maybe get us started

uhh like i said many times, constance is rlly naive, so she’d be super easy to take advantage of. this could be something that happened when she first introduced herself to the limelight, like maybe someone latched on to her bc of how excited the media was to finally know her and they sort of road her coattails, or maybe it’s smth that’s happening as adults. im down for literally any kind of manipulative plots like fake friends, using her for shit, idk just mess her up ig

i think unrequited crushes are cute and i’m sure constance has TONS just bc she’s such a romantic at heart and so eager to have a fairy tale love that i feel like there would be this one person who she’s had a crush on for years who she just...keeps going back to bc she thinks she loves them and maybe they use her to keep her around or maybe theyve been honest about their feelings and theyre trying to just be friends but things are rocky/she’s just repressing shit idk we could do a lot with this i think 

i’d love it if she could just have a best friend bc like...idk i dont want her to have NO real friends u know? good vibes only for constance and ur muse man u feel

she was pretty innocent growing up since she was so sheltered so maybe ur muse smoked her out for the first time when she was 16 and now shes 420 friendly and theyre just smoke buddies or smth i cant believe shes gonna be a stoner now her whole personality i talked about up there? gone. it’s weed central now baby !

does ur muse need a tastefully directed sex tape? constance has their back im not kidding this is my plot idea ur all welcome

this is a novel so im ending it here but i will once again beg that u all come plot with me and love me and disregard these shitty connection ideas bc i KNOW we can come up with truly good ones okay love u all bye 

[telltheworld-phff]

Chapter 46, part I: My best friend’s wedding

Carol did have to thank Princess Sofia for the little push she had given her a couple weeks ago. She decided to be bold and to give Harry the chance he’s been patiently waiting for. She was more loving towards him, not that she wasn’t before, but she was loving in a way enough to show him, because she was still afraid of speaking about it, that they did go to a next level.

When they thought luck was finally getting on their side, their schedule became so packed and full that they barely had the chance to see each other. Harry had to go with his grandmother to a long visit up north, Carol’s work was going amazingly and she was hosting workshops and training programs. She started easy, with all the BBC employees in London. She had to adjust her hours because of the amount of shifts they had and it came out as a huge success. They were starting to create a magazine and everyone was contributing with ideas and photographs and contact information to some people they wanted to interview. That’s why her boss said they should expand to other countries.

And that’s when she thought she’d go mad.

And that’s when her already full schedule became even fuller.

Because she had barely spent any time at home.

Because she was receiving lots of angry texts from her sister, because she had missed all the fittings to her dress.

Because she had promised her mom, she’d be in Brazil for at least two weeks to help her with the last errands for the wedding.

She was frustrated because obviously she had too much on her plate, and that’s when she opened her e-mail and dreaded opening the message that said “Planned Trips”. With a sigh, she opened it and saw all those places she’d be able to visit, but at the same time she just wanted her home. She just wanted an opportunity to breathe.

Her schedule for the next two months was something like this:

April

2-6 Copenhagen, Denmark

10-12 Cologne, Germany

25-27 Paris, France

May

4-9 Warsaw, Poland

14-19 Stockholm, Sweden

23-27 Johannesburg, South Africa

It’s not like she didn’t like traveling (she still hadn’t left London to go anywhere), or that she didn’t like her job and to be traveling with something she had created. It was just...

It all was happening so fast, and even though she was spending a lot of time in her office, sometimes she still pinched herself to see if it wasn’t a dream that she was about to wake up from.

She loved everything that had happened in her life.

What she wasn’t comfortable with was the pace things were happening.

Just when she had settled down to the idea of living abroad, dating and prince, getting a master degree and finally totally catch up with her workplace and tasks, people started to add things to her ever growing piles of things she had to give attention to.

She closed the e-mail and took a breath. Freak out right now wouldn’t help her go anywhere.

She closed her eyes for a few seconds when a colleague knocked on her door and asked if she was ready to the conference call.

She wasn’t. But she lied and went anyway.

x

She had just arrived in London from Germany, letf her suitcase at home and went for something to dinner.

“Hey babe.” she said when he picked up his phone. She was at a Sainsbury’s buying her dinner. “How are you?”

He smiled when he heard the endearment.

“I’m better now. And you?”

“Tired. Bit stressed.” she said while getting a bottle of orange juice. “But tomorrow I’m working from home, so I have time to pack. I can’t believe the wedding is next Saturday.” she said after paying and walking back to her place. “My mom must be so disappointed because I couldn’t get there earlier.”

“I know! Seems like it was yesterday.” he said leaving the car in front of his cottage. He too was working all day at St. James. “And I already told you, Carol. Your mom understands that you didn’t go earlier because of your job. Your very good paying job.”

“It seems that you want to date me for my money, Harry. Do you? Do you want to date me because of my money?”

“You know I want to date you besides your money… Already told you that.”

They both laughed and she took a moment to appreciate his laugh.

“Is your dress ready?” This had become an inside joke because he knew she hadn’t been to any fittings.

“It is. But I don’t know if it’ll fit… might’ve lost a few pounds these days. Let’s not mention that to Hailey. She’s been complaining about the fact that my mom lives in another country and all the fittings went smoothly. I live in the same city and was always busy and never found time to go to a single one...” Carol laughed at that while walking towards her flat.

“Oh boy...” Harry said loosening his tie. “Everything’s going to be fine.”

“Yeah… I mean. I’m not the bride. No one will be looking at me.”

“I will...” he answered.

“Well… you’re my date. You’re obliged to.” they both laughed while she opened her flat’s door.

“I miss you.” Harry said and she could actually feel how much he meant it.

“Me too...” she answered biting her lip.

“Can’t wait for this trip. Your work is stealing you way too much from me.” he said and actually pouted at that.

She laughed because she knew he was pouting. But she didn’t comment on his statement, just like he knew she wouldn’t.

“So I heard you and Sofia have been texting each other.” Harry said after a comfortable silence between them.

“We are!” Carol sounded excited. “She’s such a sweet person, and she’s giving me some advice. We are going to have lunch together when I’m in Stockholm next month.”

“I knew you’d like her. Carl Philip scored big when he married her.” Harry went to the kitchen to heat something for him to eat. “She’s someone you can trust. You know, in my circle you have to be careful with what you say or do. It’s sad that we can’t just make a friend at a park or bar, that we have to constantly watch our behavior. So I think it’s important for you to have someone you can trust on. She’ll help you a lot.”

“He did. Didn’t he?” Carol smiled. “But it’s weird that I’m developing a friendship with a princess.”

“You’re developing a relationship with a prince… Thought you’d be used by now.” Harry said and Carol went silent once again. “She’s the first of many, though.” They both laughed at that.

“Who knows?”.

X

She had checked her e-mail account twice while waiting to board the plane. She was still working, even though she had promised herself she wouldn’t. The plan was: get up early, go for a stroll at the park, go back home to pack and start working by 9. Then, she’d take her full lunch hour so she could get a manicure and then go back and work until 4:30. Then, it was vacation time for she had taken a few days off, on holidays. But obviously she woke up early and decided to check her e-mail. What was going to be just checking became full working and when she realized it was already mid-afternoon and she hadn’t done anything.

She answered to the last e-mail and started leisurely browsing.That’s when she saw the news:

“The Marshal of the Realm is delighted to announce that HRH Crown Princess Victoria gave birth to a son on April 10, 2018 at 5:48pm.

Both mother and child are in good health.”

She couldn’t help but be thrilled. Her Royal watching-heart was happy for the family and Swedish christenings were the most fun ones to watch.

She sent a text to Sofia, congratulating on her newborn nephew.

She felt her phone vibrating, but they were calling all passengers to board, so she didn’t see who was texting until she had found her seat. She had got two messages.

H: Safe trip, babe. See you in Brazil.

S: Thank you, Carol. He’s so cute. Also… a little secret: his name is Arthur. Xoxo

She took her time to answer to both of them, and then texted her mom saying she was on her way home.

The flight was uneventful but long and tiring. She arrived at Sao Paulo and had a connection to the other flight.

Her mom had decided to get married in Fernando de Noronha, one of Brazil’s postcard and one of the most wonderful places on earth. But since it was an island and also a natural reserve, getting there was difficult and even bureaucratic.

When she finally arrived in Noronha, several hours later, her mom and Flavio were waiting for her.

She received the most calming and comforting hug from her mom. That lasted forever and they both teared up.

In Portuguese there’s a word that means “I miss you”, and it’s called “Saudade”. In that moment both mother and daughter, that had never been this long apart were witnessing and feeling that saudade was painful and bittersweet.

After the compliments, they boarded the rental car and went to the hotel.

Carol was so tired and jet-lagged that she only wanted a shower and a bed to nap. She didn’t even wanted to go sightseeing just now. She needed rest and probably food. Brazilian food.

After she had her check-in and went to her bedroom, she found a giant bouquet of pink roses on her bed. She knew who had sent that before she got the card. And even in her state, she appreciated his gesture.

“When you get this bouquet, it’ll mean that we are only a couple hours apart. Hang in there, my love. I am on my way. -H.”

She smiled and smelled the flowers. She asked the reception for a vase and put them on water.

She took a shower and tried to wait for him awake. But her tiredness took the best of her and she fell asleep.

X

When Harry arrived at the hotel, he first asked for Maria and Flavio. He wanted to congratulate them and thank them for the invitation he didn’t think he’d get.

The hotel manager that was waiting for him on the reception told they were at the beach. And for him to get there he would have to simple walk towards the end of the lobby. Harry was impressed by the beauty of this north eastern Brazilian island.

He soon found Maria that just forgot he was a prince and embraced him like he was his son. She asked him a few things she had learned. She was fussing over him like a caring a protective mother and he had forgotten how this felt like.

Flavio also greeted him like part of the family and he even spotted Hailey on a jet-ski, playing with some unknown person.

“Where is she?” he asked as soon it was polite enough to change the subject.

“She’s taking a nap.” Flavio answered.

“I think you could also enjoy a nap.” Maria said. “Room 202.” she blinked at him.

He politely excused himself and went to the room. He asked his P.O’s to just leave him be for a couple of hours. The island was secure, the hotel was only booked with wedding guests and to be honest he didn’t give a damn about being spotted.

He only wanted to be with her.

With the woman that had turned his world upside town with just a smile.

The woman that would soon be, officially, his girlfriend.

He knocked on the door and no one answered. He tried to see if it was locked. It wasn’t.

As quietly as he could, he entered the bedroom and saw her sleeping peacefully on the bed.

He couldn’t help but smile.

He took of his shoes and shirt and laid beside her on the bed. He caressed her face and she smiled. He gently pulled her body towards his and his heart felt content when he noticed that even sleeping, her body recognized his. Because she snuggled on him without even noticing.

In that moment Harry knew for sure that he had made something right along the way. That the wait was worth it. Because Carol had said, without saying a single word, that she was his. In the  most sincere way.

IT’S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE Y’ALL!!!!

I know it’s a short chapter and that you deserve more. I know. But I thought it was best for me to post this, and then work on the rest of it than to post it all God knows when.

Happy Holidays and thank you so much for reading my story and for sticking with me during the laptop break. It still isn’t fixed, but let’s not focus on it. Shall we?

The next chapter will probably come on the new year, but I’ll do my best to post it sooner.

As always, let me know your thoughts on this chapter and suggestions to the other ones.

[purplesurveys]

418

Girly Do you like the color pink? It’s my favorite color. My phone case, wallet, purse, expander, water jug, two notebooks, backpack, pencilcase, clipboard, and paper clips are all pink. What have you spent more money on: a purse or a pair of shoes? Definitely shoes. I have one purse but I didn’t even spend on it, as it was a gift from my tita who was coming over to the Philippines. Do you ever wear heels? I have pairs of heels but people in the PH are so conservative and judgy that you can’t really dress up without them looking at you. As much as I want to wear my heels to places, I can only do so when I go to parties or other special occasions. What are the most stylish but uncomfortable shoes you own? I dunno, I find all of them pretty comfortable. Do you have any shoes you mostly only wear for photo shoots? No...I never have any photoshoots.

What's your all-time favorite lipstick (brand and color)? I don’t do makeup. Do you buy drugstore make-up or high-end make-up? What dog breed do you think you look the most like? Hahahahahahaha what omg

Do you like light blue jeans or dark blue jeans better? Light blue. I think they’re more trendy at the moment. What are your favorite type of pants to wear? I like my high-waisted ripped jeans! They’re super casual and can match any top. I wear it if I just want a chill day. What's the last good love story you read? I haven’t read those in a hot minute. Who is/was the most romantic of your friends? Jo I think, but I’m pretty sure it would be JM if he finally finds someone. Have you ever had a magical kiss? Always. Do you like kissing or hugs better? Hugs!!! Retro Do you own any records? No. I don’t have a turntable to play them on. Do you own a pair of bell-bottoms? Also no. I was never a fan. Have you ever tie-dyed anything? We had to tie-dye a shirt for a project in like sixth grade, but I’ve never done it just because I felt like it. What's one oldies song you like? We Didn’t Start the Fire. Do you think Disco is a cute name for a boy? Not at all. Poor kid. Do you own a lava lamp or disco ball? I own neither, but I wanted my own lava lamp really bad when I was like 14. Did you own a disco light when you were younger? I don’t think I did. Have you ever put a dime in a jukebox? Haven’t. The few times I ate at Johnny Rockets they had a jukebox, but I didn’t go near it because I was shy. When was the last time you went to the roller rink? We don’t have any here. Do you wear hoop earrings ever? I have a pair of clip-on hoop earrings I wear at least once a week. Do you own a kaleidoscope? No. I probably did when I was younger. Have you ever done hard drugs? No. Tumblr What are three of your favorite Starbucks drinks? Java chip frappe, caramel macchiato (iced or warm is fine), and peppermint mocha are my go-tos. Do you have photos on the wall in your room? Yeah but they’re nothing like the Tumblr aesthetic you’re probably asking for. I have frames of Audrey Hepburn on one wall and a poster of a Korean actor that I love, but that’s about it.   If you own/owned a Polaroid camera, which color would/do you have? I’ve never had one but my sister just bought her own Instax the other week that I plan to borrow. It’s brown if I remember correctly. Have you ever done a craft with a record? if so, what? No. I don’t think I’d want to put my hands on a record like that either. What's one of the best Tumblr-inspired craft projects you've seen? Meh. I haven’t seen the crafty side of Tumblr since 2010. Do you have a Tumblr account? I wonder. Which do you like better: Tumblr or Pinterest? Tumblr for surveys and memes, Pinterest for ideas. Do you have a mandala tapestry hanging in your home? No...that screams 2014 to me. Do you own any succulents? I never got into plants. Fake succulents or real succulents? Do you doodle on your notebook paper? When I get bored in class, yes. Do you own Sharpies? Mmmm no, I don’t really need them for anything. What's your favorite Sharpie color? What color are your Converse shoes? White. I used to have a pair of red high-top Chucks as tribute to AJ, but I think my mom threw them out already because I stopped wearing them. Have you ever made an inspiration board for your room? No. Who is the best-looking male celebrity? Gregory Peck. Boho Where would you like to travel to next? Thailand or Vietnam, hopefully! List three more vacations you would like to go on. I want to go back to Singapore, then go to those two I mentioned above. Where are three places you go to relax? My room, the beach, a cafe. Are you a musician, artist, or writer? None of these, but writer speaks to me the most. Do you believe in truth, freedom, and love? ...Sure. What is your favorite store at the mall? I don’t have one I normally go to. Would you hitchhike if people were generally trustworthy? If I had the time, yep. What's the most daring thing you've ever done? Every time I overtake or be an ass on the road (because everyone else is) always feels daring lmao. Would you ever belly dance at a faire? No. If you became famous, would you change your name to something exotic? Idk, that’s kinda racist/appropriating. What are five exotic names that you like? What exactly are exotic names???? Do you own a dreamcatcher? Yeah, I have a large one above my bed. Do you feel closer to God in nature? No. Fashion What are five things that were in style when you were in high school? Roshes, ripped jeans, crop tops, statement shirts lmao, and hoodies. What does your favorite scarf that you've made look like? I don’t need scarves and more so have I not made my own. Do you wear scarves? No. It’s too hot for scarves. List the different colors of jeggings and/or skinny jeans that you have. White, black, dark blue, light blue, khaki. What color is your favorite pair of shorts? Black. What color is your favorite sweater? The XXL one Gabie gave me to use whenever I miss her is gray. List five people whom you think have great style. Audrey Hepburn, one of the profs in my college that has an impeccable wardrobe, Kate, Sophia, and tbh my aunts.

List five of some of the worst trends you've seen. I don’t feel like it. List five items on your current wardrobe wish list. More heels, high-waisted shorts, a new jumpsuit, a party dress for the year-end college party in May, and tube tops. Where do you shop the most for clothes? H&M. Do you own anything leopard print? No. Never. Do you wear earmuffs? I don’t need them. What color are your favorite pair of boots? I don’t really wear boots. Music What song makes you cry? Recently, it’s Louis Tomlinson’s singles- at least the ones dedicated to his mom. What could be the theme song to your life? That’s a pretty bold claim...but uhhh probably Misguided Ghosts by Paramore. What is a good break-up song? Walking in the Wind, One Direction. What song makes you want to dance? Any high-energy Beyonce song tbh. What is one of your all-time favorite songs? From Eden, Hozier. What is your current favorite song? Three straight surveys that this was asked. Talk, by Khalid. Which show has a great theme song? I don’t watch a lot of shows, so I wouldn’t know. Which song is so catchy it's easy to get stuck in your head? Depends on my mood and what my head prefers to play at the moment. Which song is used in a lot of youtube videos? Royalty-free ones? Idk. Which song is sad? The entire soundtrack of New Moon lmao. Who makes great song covers on YouTube? I don’t like covers. Who is one of the best songwriters? HOZIER Who has a beautiful voice? Also Hozier. Who made it big fast? Idk, it’s pretty easy to make it big fast nowadays thanks to social media. Arts and Crafts List five DIY youtubers you love to watch. I hate DIY YouTube. Who makes the best craft videos? Have you ever painted rocks and hid them in your town? No. Even if I had the time to, the idea doesn’t sound exciting. What craft project is harder than it looks? All of them, I would guess. Have you ever got hot glue stuck to your hands? Nooooo no no, that’s one of my biggest fears. Are you messy when it comes to painting? I’m messy in and out of painting. What color is your cutting board? Would you rather build something or decorate something? I’d rather buy something that’s already built and decorated. Just really not an artsy person so this category is not for me haha. Have you ever painted something on canvas? Never. I couldn’t, even if I tried. List a few of your favorite painters. Monet. Do you love the brand Natural Life? I don’t think I recognize the name. Do you love the brand Lisa Frank? Yessssss my girl Lisa used to be the bomb dot com. Oil pastels or chalk pastels? Which do you prefer, and why? Oil...they look nicer for me? And I’ve never heard of chalk pastels until now. Glitter gel pens or regular gel pens? Glitter. Colored pencil or regular pencil? Colored pencils, because I love coloring books. Charcoal or colored chalk? Chalk. Charcoal is messy. Painting or drawing? I hate both. Painting that shows brushstrokes or painting that looks like a photograph? I’d rather see the brushstrokes. Knitting or crocheting? I hate them both too. Sewing on a machine or doing embroidery by hand? Color or black-and-white? Color. Digital photography or film photography? Classic film.

[moverevolutionestateagents]

Amy & Sarah from Polished Kitchen Design

We are delighted to introduce Amy & Sarah from POLISHED KITCHEN DESIGN …

Sarah & Amy from POLISHED KITCHEN DESIGN

We (Nici Jordan – Move Revolution’s Marketing Director & Mathew Gurr – Area Sales Manager for Haywards Heath Lindfield & Burgess Hill) thoroughly enjoyed meeting Amy & Sarah for a coffee (and natter) at our favourite Lindfield Coffee Works. We wanted to share with you who they are, all things ‘POLISHED KITCHEN DESIGN’ and so much more! Both Amy & Sarah have really interesting backgrounds – when you have a read you will understand their immense creativity, eye for detail – and why they care so much about delivering outstanding work for their clients!

Nici, Sarah, Amy & Mathew loving Lindfield Coffee Works

Tell us all about how (and why) you have started POLISHED KITCHEN DESIGN…

Amy: I was a PR Director for a large cosmetics company in London for 15 years but had lost my zest for it. After doing renovations on our last 2 properties I wanted to follow my passion and try a career in interior design, so I took the plunge and left my job in the city. After completing an Interior Design course I was lucky enough to be offered a kitchen designer role in a local independent design studio who had actually designed and supplied my own kitchen 3 years previously which is when Sarah and I first met. I jumped at the chance as I loved the process of designing my own kitchen alongside Sarah. I think it was fate that we ended up working together!

Sarah: I started off my career working for a medical company but quickly felt it was the right career path for me. I’d always had a passion for Interior Design so signed myself up for an Interior Design course at KLC Design college in Chelsea. Whilst I was studying I took on various work experience role with local designers which led me to a local kitchen design company. Soon after working in kitchen design I knew it was the right fit for me I’ve never looked back. Having worked in the industry for 9 years I still have as much passion and enjoyment from my job as I did when I started. Having worked with Amy over the years, we found we really complimented each others working style and it very naturally became apparent we would make great business partners. After many glasses of wine, cups of tea and far too many biscuits we came up with the idea of launching our own business venture – Polished Kitchen Designs. We have been blown away by the support and enthusiasm we have received so far and are excited to see what’s in store beyond our first year.

Given you both love of all things ‘creative’ who or what is your main design inspiration?

Amy: In my previous career we worked with a lot of fashion designers such as YSL, Stella MCartney, Marc Jacobs and Chloe so it’s always been something I have been interested in. I love how trends span across fashion and interiors and playing with using things like accessories and colour to update a look. I’m a big believer in a classic style that never dates but incorporating more trend led ideas that can bring things bang up to date but that are also easily changed when you fancy a change. I’ve always loved Cole & Son wallpapers and have used them in most of my personal projects over the years.

Sarah: We are both fans of Farrow & Ball, they always have such a tempting palette of paint colours to choose from and they are Eco friendly too. Personal favourites are Setting Plaster which is part of the new nude trend, Off Black which my kitchen is painted in and they can’t be beaten for their gorgeous palette of greys…over the years we have used Blackened, Purbeck Stone, Elephants Breath and Downpipe…the list goes on!

For affordable, stylish furniture and accessories Made.com really is a go to for me – I always find items I love and their clean and simple designs mean they compliment any style. They also have some great lighting options and many of our clients have sourced their island lighting from here. For me it’s an added bonus that they support independent designers all around the world.

The explosion of social media also means there are some amazing influencers out there who have some great style inspiration spanning across fashion and interiors.

Here are a few we love on Instagram :

Erica Davies

The Frugality

Rockett St George

Come down to the woods

Pink House Living

 In your opinion what is the key design trend of 2019?

Amy: Industrial, edgy style kitchens with lots of different textures– thing sleek and contemporary with a mix of metallics, wood, dark hues and a contrasting colour to make it all pop. Don’t get too caught up in matching your metallics as mixing these can be effective and create more interest visually rather than getting too matchy matchy!

We love this Second Nature 1909 kitchen which is a stunning example of making a traditional in-frame shaker kitchen more industrial and on trend with the addition of industrial black handles and on trend colours.

Sarah: Statement colours are not going anywhere. Don’t be afraid to be bold – dark greens, blues and even black add drama and style to a kitchen, don’t forget you can soften these colours with a touch of warmer hues such as cashmere and blush nudes. The addition of a light worktop will help to bounce the light around your space and always remember flooring plays an important part of your colour palette. A good tip is to get samples and create your own moodboard which will bring your entire concept together.

Tell us about POLISHED KITCHEN DESIGN .. what makes you different! 

If you go to our website you will see out mission statement on our homepage which is:

Our passion and motivation is to design and install your dream kitchen, providing all the experience and inspiration you would get from an independent kitchen design studio – without the showroom price tag.

Our main aim when we started Polished Kitchen Designs was to make the independent kitchen design experience accessible to a wider customer base. We found that many people didn’t want to buy a kitchen from one of the ‘big sheds’ and felt underwhelmed by the product and service on offer. We also had many comments that they either felt intimidated by the smaller independent studios or that they thought they wouldn’t have anything to suit smaller budgets. By not having our own studio we can offer the same quality product and service but without the showroom price tag. We’ve priced jobs recently which have come very close to Howdens prices, we are confident our product and personalised service is far superior so clients are getting a lot more for their money. We like nothing more than popping back to see our clients and their beautiful completed projects for a cup of tea (we’ll bring the cake!) and natter. The process can take on average 4- 6 months (sometimes even longer if builders are involved!) from start to finish and in that time we build really good relationships with our clients so we have mixed emotions when our projects finish and it’s time to say goodbye.

If you are looking for a new kitchen we are in no doubt this will definitely have tempted you to give Amy and Sarah a call! Just go to their website  www.polishedkitchendesigns.co.uk  or send them an email info@polishedkitchendesigns.co.uk

As you can probably tell we loved meeting up with Amy & Sarah – we are passionate about local, independent businesses (just like Move Revolution) who are focused on delivering expertise and exceptional client service … watch this space for more blogs from Amy & Sarah over the coming months.

We couldn’t end this blog without saying a huge thank you to James Bolton, one of our incredible Move Revolution Professional Photographers. We pride ourselves on outstanding photography, and this is just a small example of what it is like to work with a professional!

If you are thinking of selling or letting your home we would love the opportunity to chat with you about our service… you too will have wonderful photographs taken of your home!

BOOK A VALUATION TODAY!

We have offices throughout Surrey, Sussex and Kent, just call 0330 223 1000 so that we can put you through to exactly the right office for you. If you are thinking of moving in the Haywards Heath, Lindfield or Burgess Hill Area, Mathew and his team would love to chat with you, just call 01444 657 657

We’d love you to follow us on Facebook!

The post Amy & Sarah from Polished Kitchen Design appeared first on Move Revolution.

from Move Revolution https://www.moverevolution.com/blog/amy-sarah-from-polished-kitchen-design/

[apotatomashedbybts]

I'll Be Your Knight

[GENRE: fluff, slight angst

Pairing: Jimin×reader , Taegi

Soulmate!Taehyung, BestFriend!Yoongi

Word Count: 2.6k+]

[Summary: When Y/n met Jimin she knew that it was a love at first sight. But she didn't expect the consequences that came with loving him. After their unwilling separation will Y/n be able to do what it takes to get him back?

A story of love, loss, fight, dreams, and friendship...]

Chapter VII : Problem Solved?

"You are going to regret taking the decision." I said cracking my knuckles.

"That's quite bold of you to think when you are up against us alone!" saying this they started laughing.

"Sorry, but she is not alone." Yoongs said calmly after appearing in the scene.

It took us for about half an hour to take them all down including those two guys who were keeping Jimin and Tae under guard. The local police arrived lead by some of the kids who fled away earlier when the fight had already ended.

"You have to come with us to the police station. We need your statement regarding this case." the police officer told us after arresting the gang. 

I looked around for Tae and Jimin but in the midst of all these they had disappeared somewhere. As the police were getting impatient I decided to text Tae. After getting into the police car I texted him.

At the police station they took our statements and let us go.

After coming out of there I called Tae.

Me: Hello! Hey dumbhead! Where did you and Jimin disappear to?

Tae: Aish! Sorry sorry! But I have a really good reason for our disappearance! Let's meet at the café!

Me: We'll be a bit late because we came here in police car. We have to take the bus to our uni as Yoongs' car is there. So wait for us a little bit.

Tae: Okay bye!

.

Our neighborhood's favourite café, Evdaimonía. It had changed a lot! Specially they added a lot more to the menu and there were a few changes in the decoration but our favourite barista, uncle Steve hadn't changed at all. He beamed with happiness as usual as he used to whenever we came here.

We took our usual seat and uncle added one more chair to the table as our group was no more of three.

Sitting down I crossed my arms and narrowed my eyes at Tae, "The 'good' reason please."

"You'll be surely surprised after I tell you what we found out! So when you were busy talking with the police I saw that Su-yeon was peeking out beside the boundary near the road. There was something suspicious about her so Jimin and I went to her. She was shocked at first and then out of the blue asked that why was Yoongi hyung helping you. And that's where she exposed herself! We interrogated her and she finally gave in. She told us that she was jealous of you hanging out with ME, Hobi and now Jimin too. That's why she paid those thugs to attack you. And as she got to know that Yoongi hyung was on your side too she was more jealous."

"Holy mother! I can't believe that she can go this far!" I palm slapped my forehead.

"Don't worry! Tae took care of the situation pretty boldly!" Jimin said laughing.

"No please don't tell them! Why should you betray me like this?" Tae pleaded to Jimin.

"Now I am curious! Tell us what did he do?" I looked at Jimin.

"My heart is still beating remembering the scenario. He grabbed her arm making her face him and said that you are his childhood best friend and it hurts him when someone hurts you. Then he pressed her to the wall and whispered 'if you love me that much then you wouldn't want to hurt my best friend. You are not planning on getting into my hate list, are you sweetheart?'." Hearing this all three of us cringed real hard and my ears were all itchy because of that. Tae kept his forehead on the table with his hands around it and whined, "You all are dead to me!"

"Come on Tae, we all know you did that for y/n! Not everyone gets a best friend like you." Yoongi chimed.

At this Tae looked up and smiled. "Confess already boy!" I thought.

"From now on she will not bother you! So no need to thank me, just treat me your mom's strawberry cheesecake tomorrow!" Tae said giggling.

"You can have the strawberry cheesecake tomorrow Taehyung dear but now you have to try today's special, Gyro and here's your coke." Uncle Steve appeared with a smile on his face and a tray of as he said Gyro on his hands. After putting that on the table he patted Tae's head and said, "You did a good job!" And went away to attend other customers.

                Uncle Steve moved here eleven years ago from a beautiful city named Patras in Greece. He had been a favourite of everyone since he settled here, specifically for his great cooking, generous heart and a photographic memory. We used to visit his café frequently and loved stories from his hometown.

                While returning me and Tae huddled together at the back seat of Yoongs' car because of the cold, we were literally shaking. Both Yoongs and Jimin were laughing at us. "Will you two ever stop being a child?" Yoongs said while keeping his eye on the road as he was driving as usual. "Neverrr" we shouted together and this made Jimin to burst out in laughter.

Tae pinched me and signalled with his eyes towards Jimin. I pinched him back and signalled my eyes towards Yoongs and that marked the beginning session of our pinching each other session. "Yah! Stop you two or I'll throw both of you out of the car!" Yoongs scolded us.

"Yes sir!" We saluted Yoongs and pretended to fall asleep.

.

We reached Jimin's home first. After he went inside the castle I relaxed at the back seat and a feeling of melancholy washed over me. I tried hard to not cry, so I leaned my head on Tae's shoulder and held his hand. I guess that was a wrong decision because that made me more weak and I ended up crying.

"Geez! Stop! It's not like you are not going to see him anymore! It's just one night! You'll get to see him tomorrow again! You'll get married and have dozens of kids! Don't worry!" saying this Tae pulled me into a side hug.

I smiled in his hug and said, "I know!"

Maybe I was happy that's why I agreed too quickly to Tae's proposal of playing overwatch that evening. But I didn't regret it. It's fun sometimes. But I managed to persuade Tae to sleep within 11 pm as we were supposed to wake up at dawn.

.

At university the next morning I was quite surprised to see the change in Su-yeon and her friends' behaviour. I felt relieved and it was all thanks to Tae. Yesterday I told my mom about the incident and she was like, "Oh no! Are those boys really hurt? Should we give them a visit at the hospital?"

My mom had always been too confident in me that nothing can happen to me and had always been worried about Tae rather than me and Yoongs. Well, I could see a valid reason behind that but I still wanted her to sometimes show some concern about me and Yoongs. I told her about Tae's caprice and she became just as happy as Tae was and told me to bring my other friends including Yoongs.

I let out a sigh thinking about all these and decided to invite Jimin and Hobi after the first lecture.

.

We all arrived at my home at about 4 pm. Mom was just really excited to have so many guests at home. She made everyone feel at home.

"You all have to stay tonight at our home. I won't hear an objection from any of you! Call your parents and inform them." Mom said, well basically ordered.

Tae shouted hearing this, "YESSSSSSSSSS you are the best!!! Slumber party tonight!!" and started dancing. Seeing him I couldn't control myself. I started dancing with him too. Seeing us Hobi joined too. And we moved in circles around the living room making a train and danced and shouted our lungs out. Jimin rolled down laughing and then joined us while Yoongs sighed smiling and went into the kitchen to help mom. After eating strawberry cheesecake to our heart's content we went to our backyard and played badminton until evening. When it started getting really cold, dad came and made a bonfire and placed chairs around it. It was like a camping experience. He started to tell all these ghost stories that made Tae to spook out from time to time. After half an hour dad went in to help mom in cooking. Then I started to tell stories of ghosts and urban legends to scare Tae. Though he was scared, he still wanted me to go on. He was so engrossed in my story that he didn't notice when Hobi went up behind him. Hobi made a shushing gesture and shouted real hard near Tae's ear. Tae got scared out of his wits and jumped on Yoongs' lap as he was nearest to Tae. We all started laughing like hyenas, specially Hobi. "That's not fair!" Tae whined, "I won't talk with any of you!"

A second had passed and then Yoongs cleared his throat, "Tae you are still on my lap. You are heavy. Would you mind?"

        Realising that Tae sprang up and smiling sheepishly he said, "I think aunty is calling me. I'll be back after sometime!" Then he went in quickly, basically ran. I could totally picturise that he went to mom, whined for sometime complaining about us and then probably went to my room and pulled his hair out of embarrassment. I smiled imagining that and when I was about to tell Yoongs to go after him I noticed that Jimin was looking at me with fondness. My heart felt like clenching. Was what I was seeing true? Why was he looking at me like that? Noticing my expression perhaps Jimin looked away immediately and started talking with Hobi. I looked down not knowing what to do and tried to clear my thought process.

            Much to my convenience, mom called us in for dinner right after that. After entering the dining room we were all astounded seeing the dishes.

"Mom! How did you prepare such a sumptuous feast in such a short time? And why do you never treat me like this?" I rolled my eyes at mom.

             "She loves us more than she loves you~" Tae came in the dining room singing and hugged mom.

             "Yeah! I can totally see that! But whatever, the food isn't complaining to get into my stomach! That's my true love! The rest of you can go wherever you want!" I said  while sitting down.

              At this Tae said after sitting down beside me, "But you won't survive without us. Now now don't cry and here serve me some food." I smacked Tae and took away his plate.

            "They are never gonna stop. Let them be and let's eat!" Dad said laughing.

              We were hungry too so we didn't delay and started eating. Mom and dad talked a lot with Hobi and Jimin. They seemed to like them both a lot. It felt like a complete family. I looked at everyone and smiled to myself. I was happy.

              After eating we all went to my room upstairs and built blanket forts and played Cards against Humanity until 12 am. It was so much fun. We got hungry while laughing. So Tae sneaked into the kitchen and brought ice-cream for all of us!

              "Go to sleep after eating this! I don't want to miss my morning routine because of y'all." I announced and prepared to go to sleep.

               "I want to sleep beside Yoongi hyung!" Tae raised his hand. Yoongs had always preferred to sleep at the end. So at the right most side was he, then beside him was Tae. Somehow Tae managed Hobi to say that he wanted to sleep beside him. And he knew that I had also always liked to sleep at the end side. When I saw where the course of the arrangement was going I realized what Tae was thinking of. "Does he want me to die?" I questioned myself. "This is not how you should do a Cupid's job, you dumbhead!" I facepalmed, visibly. Seeing my expression Tae smiled innocently at me and mouthed "Good luck". And I replied,"I will kill you."

              Laying beside Jimin I didn't know what to do. My heart was racing too fast for my own good. After sometime when everyone had fallen asleep I opened my eyes slowly and looked at him. His face looked so peaceful like a baby. I wanted to cup his cheeks and leave small kisses all over his face. I didn't know how much time had passed by while being engrossed in him. I wanted the time to stop so that I can get more time. But turning all my wishes to ashes Tae suddenly sneezed really loudly. Afraid that it might wake Jimin up I pretended to sleep and didn't know when I fell asleep. 

I never expected this at all! But now here I am, lying beside y/n, pretending to sleep. Today when she invited me to her house I became really happy and anxious at the same time. Arriving at her house I didn't get to know how the time passed so quickly. May be because by her side time always gets shy and flies away quickly. When she smiles I can't but keep looking at her. When she is happy it makes me happy too.

          Her mom today reminded me of my mom. I miss her so much. I wish I could tell my mom that "Mom I found someone whom I want to protect, take care and love." May be I should leave out the 'protect' word, as y/n/n is the one who protects. I wonder when I could gather enough courage to tell her that I love her. I am not sure. I can feel her looking at me now but it may be just an infatuation. Does she love me as much as I love her? My heart is beating so fast. Did she notice? I can never know.

                   Taehyung is definitely a rescue angel as y/n/n said. To my rescue he sneezed really loudly, though not intentionally but still I felt thankful as that made y/n/n to go to sleep. After sometime as she started snoring softly I opened my eyes and looked at her sleeping face. So peaceful yet so charming. I don't how much time passed by looking at her but I eventually fell asleep. 

This is just too hard! I know I did a blunder to myself after deciding to sleep next to Yoongi hyung. He is sleeping so peacefully without any worries and here I am struggling with my own feelings. But it's worth it if y/n/n and Jimin get to sleep next to each other. "For how long are you going to stare at him?" I questioned y/n/n mentally. I know that it's not going to end soon so I decided to try to sleep.

              Why am I feeling like sneezing? I don't want to ruin her moment. "Stop stop! Don't come out!" I tried to convince my sneeze but in vain. After sneezing loudly, I can't control it, I saw that y/n/n lied down properly to sleep. And after some time Jimin woke up and was doing the same thing as y/n/n was doing all this while. I sighed happily as I got to realise that Jimin loves her too and fell asleep.

Other chapters

A/n: How are you all doing? Is it winter in your place too? If it is then stay warm and healthy. And if it's not then enjoy your holidays 😊 Thank you for reading. Please like and share. I would appreciate that a lot. Love you all 💜💜💜

[avengershumanresources]

Dust to Dust (7)

Summary: Where did Hydra come from? An idea? A twisted dream? For an organization that spans centuries, it kept relatively quiet until contemporary times.The Super Soldier serum wasn’t dreamt up over night, but was the product of numerous experiments both unethical and violent over the course of the century. It was going to be the end of all conflicts between good and evil. Scientists died trying to determine the next level of the serum, only for it to be stolen by enemies. Back and forth until one side had the advantage.

Mabel Foster was everything the ideal woman should be in 1914. She was well brought-up, wealthy, educated and the heiress to a large fortune. When her father died in a much publicized U-boat attack by the Germans, Mabel made a decision that changed the course of history by enlisting in the French Army during WWI.

After an ambush gone bad, Mabel found herself captured by an early group of Hydra.100 years later she’s discovered in a desolate Hydra base and is taken by the Avengers for safe-keeping and questioning. Little do they realize that all of their destinies and pasts are directly connected through the nest that Hydra weaved.

Pairing: Bucky x OFC (Original Female Character)

Rating/Warnings: Mature- Graphic violence, torture, PTSD, smut

(Masterlist found HERE)

"You wasted all that sweetness to run and hide I wonder why I remind you of the days you poured your heart into But you never tried I've fallen from grace Took a blow to my face I've loved and I've lost."

-Ellie Goulding (Explosions)

Paris, France - October 30th, 1914

“Pierre warned me that I might be receiving a visitor soon,” Marie Garnier grabbed one of Mabel’s bags and hefted it over her shoulder.  “I didn’t imagine in a million lifetimes that it’d be you."

Marie Garnier had been a childhood friend to Mabel while Pierre worked under Mabel’s father in New York.  The younger sister of Mabel’s fiancé eventually returned to Paris to study fashion, though Mabel tried to keep contact, life circumstances got in the way.  It’d been quite some time since the pair had gotten in contact

“It’s wonderful to see you too,” Mabel greeted, tucking a stray blonde hair behind her ear.  The French woman rolled her eyes before pulling the heiress into a firm hug.

“So what brings you to this terrible continent?  I would have thought you’d be begging me to hide in your gilded tower with you,” Marie led the way from the train platform toward a small neighborhood up the road.  Newspapers shouted the latest disasters with bold print and Parisians sat in cafes, smoking and murmuring to one another about the most recent fatality.

“Change in scenery,” Mabel replied cryptically, unsure of the details that Pierre may have passed along ahead of her.  Marie hummed in acknowledgement and continued forward

“Packed a little light for a long visit,” she commented, lifting the bag slightly.  She gestured toward a nearby apartment door and set the bag down, rummaging in her pockets for a key.  “Unless you aren’t planning on staying long.

Mabel remained silent while crossing the doorway into the small apartment.  It had a certain charm to it; Marie had scattered various patterns and fabrics around the room; a half dressed mannequin was situated in the center of her kitchen.

“Make yourself at home,” Marie set Mabel’s bag on the dining room table and began to rapidly tidy up the main living areas.  “I’ve been working on a project; I apologize for the mess.”

“You’re completely fine,” Mabel assured her friend, taking in the decorations and the photographs that lined the small window in Marie’s kitchen.  “I don’t even have that one.”

She pointed to a picture of her and Pierre from last Christmas, the pair of them straining a smile into the camera.  Her mother had been insistent that it be the photograph accompanying their engagement announcement in the Times.

“Pierre sent it a while back,” Marie commented offhand.  “Something about an engagement.  I didn’t bother paying attention to the rest.  Lord knows you wouldn’t willingly marry him.  Who’d want a lifetime doomed with him?”

“You jest,” Mabel began to pull off her traveling gloves and tucked them next to another small bag she’d brought for her journey.  “He’s been very kind and helpful, helping me through everything so far.”

“I did hear about your father’s death, my sincerest condolences,” Marie’s attention was transfixed on a sheer fabric that she only lowered to look at Mabel an instant.  “I’m afraid you’ve picked a bad time to come to the French countryside and grieve.”

“I’d beg to differ,” Mabel casually muttered, lifting one of Marie’s sketches toward the sunlight and setting it down on a nearby counter gently.  “In fact, perhaps that is the exact reason why I’m here.”

Marie dropped her project and stared at the woman like she was speaking another language.

“Do you plan on winning the war as vengeance for your father?” there was a mixture of humor and disbelief in the Parisian’s tone.  “Perhaps I could recommend a good hospital or sanatorium for you to stay in.  Get your head clear.”

Mabel fidgeted with the paperwork Pierre had given her that she’d stashed in the lining of her dress for safe keeping.

“Pierre said it was a terrible idea as well,” she continued, taking a seat in a nearby armchair.  “But he assured me you would be able to help with certain logistics."

That certainly caught Marie’s attention.  She moved a few things aside and sat down next to her old friend.

“Who knows you are here?” she questioned, her brows knitted in concentration.  Mabel realized that her companion was beginning to piece together her unorthodox visit’s meaning.

“Pierre,” Mabel replied simply.  “And now you.”

“Your mother?”

“She is no mother to me,” Mabel shot back, her tone coming out like ice.

“Oh Mabel,” the French woman soothed.  “I know losing your father is difficult… Pierre and I had nearly lost our minds when mother and father were lost but-,”

“It’s not just that,” Mabel interrupted, her face reddening at the outburst.  “There’s more to it.  I don’t just want to do this.  I have to.  The world is crumbling and I can’t sit back watching it from my- what did you call it? - Gilded tower.”

“This is war,” Marie pressed, trying to reason with the American woman.  Her knuckles were white from holding the edge of her seat.  “This isn’t one of your novels or plays.  People are dying."

“What right do I have to sit quietly by while the world moves around us?” Mabel shot back with a frown.

“This isn’t even your country’s fight,” Marie reminded her, but Mabel shook her head.

“It became my fight when they took my father,” Mabel’s voice lowered.  He’d been an innocent bystander.  Sam had been an innocent bystander.  “Who will stand up to the victims of these cruel acts against humanity?”

“You’re not going to save everyone,” Marie was almost hysterical, a laugh slipping past her incredulous demeanor.  “There are no heroes here.  Just dead men and women waiting for the inevitable.”

“You sound so sure,” Mabel shook her head and stood up from her chair, heading toward the kitchen.  “I can stay in a hotel if you’d like.  The decision was made long before I boarded the boat here.”

Marie stared down the blonde woman and sighed, the noise dragging out while she mentally ran through her choices.

“Don’t be silly, you will be staying with me,” she stood up and headed toward a small room in the back of the apartment.  “We’ll have to share a bed, though I can assure you it’ll be more comfortable than the ground you seem to be so set on living on.”

“I don’t have any other choice,” Mabel murmured softly, when Marie shot a look of pain to her friend.

“I think you do,” Marie pointed out while she grabbed an armful of extra blankets.  “I just think you’re being blind due to stubbornness.”

“That seems a little risqué for 1917,” Bucky commented while Mabel was reading a section of A Farewell to Arms out loud.  The particular passage he was referring to described an intimate encounter between the two protagonists during WWI in an Italian hospital.  

“What do you mean?”  Mabel set the book in her lap and glanced up at her companion.  “They're human.  Regardless of the generation.  This sort of thing isn't new.”

Mabel had heard all kinds of stories of men paying for lovers throughout small French villages, often the women had been left behind or widowed by the war.  Or someone powerful had hoped to make a few extra dollars by exploiting youth.

Bucky let out a grunt and repositioned himself in his chair.  

“Did you not take lovers?” Mabel inquired with a small smile.  “I would find that hard to believe with the stories Steve tells of your youth."

“That's not a proper conversation to have with a lady,” he pointed out.  His voice cracked at the statement and he frowned at the floor.  

“I think you forget I spent four years with a group of very passionate and frustrated men,” she simply replied before opening the book to a random page.  “I have a feeling this story will have an unhappy ending.”  

Bucky leaned forward and frowned.  

“Why do you say that?  I think he and Catherine will be able to live happily after the war,” he shook his head.  “They're meant to be."

“Then they'll get to live through another war,” Mabel sighed.  “And watch their children be pulled away by it.  They are the same age as your own parents at this time.  Remember that.

Bucky fell silent before he shook his head and grabbed the novel out of her hands.  

“My parents had a happy ending.  They watched my sister get married and lived long, happy lives together.”

Mabel had to swallow down the envy that rose in her chest.  It was brief.  A feeling of loss that she'd tried for decades to push away.  

“Besides, they wouldn't have known the future,” he held the book up.  “They just know they love each other.”

“What a simple life,” Mabel merely commented before taking the book back gently and flipping through the pages aimlessly. “It must be nice to be able to find love so strong you can hide from the monsters of the world.”

“You sound like me,” he laughed, standing from his seat and snatching the novel out of her grasp.  He held it above her head teasingly.  “Which means I'm being the positive one and that means we need to find something else to do before doom and gloom ruin us.”  

“Perhaps I enjoy being bitter,” Mabel tried, jumping at the book with a small hop before giving up.  Bucky was much taller than her, a fact he loved to tease her about on a nearly daily basis.  

“I don't believe that,” he replied, setting the book back on a nearby shelf and ushering the blonde woman out of their little hideaway.

They stepped into the windowed hallway and paused at the looming landscape outside.  

December had finally rolled around and the weather seemed to have shifted overnight.  

A heavy snow had covered the trees and grounds surrounding the compound, giving the area an almost magical sense of wonder.  

“When do you return to the city?” Mabel inquired quietly.  Tony and the others had tried to be sly about it, but she knew the compound was only used during the warmer months.   The Tower in the center of Manhattan was the Avengers primary base and Stark had been preparing for their return for a few weeks now.  

“Next Monday,” Bucky replied, his eyes still locked on the white blanket in front of them.  

No one had the heart to tell Mabel that she'd be stuck at the compound indefinitely- or at least until her head was a little more under control.  

Mabel nodded at the information and remained quiet.  She wasn't sure how she felt about him leaving.  Certainly the pair had grown a certain fondness between them that she could only chalk up to a friendship.  Yet, an unspoken voice in the back of her head ached at the emptiness that building would yield without her metal armed companion.  

He was, after all, the only constant she'd had for the last few weeks.  

“I can write,” he offered jokingly.  “Or we can video call.  Talk about how things are going with Sam and Bruce.”  

“Or both,” Mabel offered with a shy look in his direction.  It was seldom that she wanted to be selfish, but perhaps letter writing was the one thing from the past she so desperately missed.  She hated how impersonal communication was in this time.  She missed the tangible proof of someone's thoughts in her hands.  

“Of course you want to write letters,” Bucky groaned dramatically.  “Ya know, that was the worst part of the war in my day.  I never know what to say.”

“You just put down your thoughts.  Talk about what you've seen.  What you've done.  Tell me about the future.”

“We’re already in the future,” he chided and Mabel shrugged.  

“It's not tomorrow yet, is it?” she replied with a small smirk.  “Even ten minutes from now isn't promised to anyone.”

“But writing is so boring,” he complained with a huff.  The duo continued down the quiet corridor, undisturbed by anyone else in the compound.  

“I'll be staring at the same four walls, I will take any adventure I can live vicariously through you with,” Mabel admitted quietly.  

“I'm beginning to think you're right.  You must truly love bitterness and sorrow.” 

“I strive to be transparent, Mr. Barnes,” she turned just in time to watch him open his mouth to correct her.  Instead he fell silent.  “When do you think you'll be back?

“Tony mentioned something about getting everyone together for Christmas.  Though I'm not sure where,” he paused in thought.  “Maybe if we're lucky…”

“Even if I can handle life outside of this place, I'm not ready for New York,” Mabel's tone wavered and she clutched at her arm.  “It makes me feel a little childish, admittedly.  At least here everything is a gradual learning curve.”

“You'll have to dive in eventually.  There's only so much a book can explain,” Bucky reasoned and the blonde let out a drawn out sigh.  

“My world was stopped at the end of a precipice that dove into where society is today,” she frowned and shook her head slightly.  “It's as foreign as another planet to me.”

“It'll be okay.  We're all here to make sure you get there,” Steve's voice echoed toward the pair and soon enough the soldier joined the duo.  “I've been working with Tony and things aren't too different.  The foundation is still there- just a little more sparkle to it.”

“Perhaps I should just return to Europe?  They age slower, do they not?  I'm sure the Eiffel tower looks the same.  I'd fit right in.”

“I'm seriously going to shove you in the snow,” Bucky groaned running a hair through his hair and snorting.  “You're worse than this melodramatic fool.”  He shoved a thumb in Steve's direction.  The American hero feigned innocence until Bucky started ahead of the two blondes with a huff.  

“He's just a product of the millennium, too good for nostalgia,” Steve teased under his breath before gesturing for Mabel to go ahead of him.  They went after their friend and ended up in the main living area where a handful of Avengers were lying about.  

“Anyone up for a shooting session?” Clint suggested once Bucky and the others joined the group.  His offer was met with a few shrugs and grunts, though Bucky was more than enthusiastic.  

“Yes.  Please.  Get me away from these saps,” he looked around for any other takers.  “Ah come on.  It's no fun with just Clint and I.”  

“Only if I can spar the loser,” Nat offered and when an agreement was made, the trio disappeared toward the elevators.  Sam and Bruce parted after a brief conversation and the flying Avenger stood at Mabel’s side.

“And I believe we have an appointment,” Sam nodded to her.  She gave an affirming smile in his direction and with a small wave to Steve, they headed toward their designated therapy area.  

Sam had opened up slightly once it became clear what they were working with.  He offered counseling to her, as he did to all the members of the team, though she was the only one who took him up on it regularly.

The therapy area was relatively secluded in the event of another meltdown.   An idea strongly supported by the majority of the team.   Steve later explained that everyone was prone to outbursts from time to time and though she was the primary reason behind its installation, it truly benefitted everyone.  

“Any more nightmares?” Sam asked before they settled into the sofas.  

“Yes,” Mabel replied.  She didn't even know what a full night of sleep felt like.  She probably hadn't had a dream since 1913.  

“What did you see?” He asked, digging around for his tablet that he stored near the sofas.  

“A kid about 17 getting shelled,” she replied dryly.  “And then just pieces of him.  A leg here, an arm there.”  Those had been the lucky parts.  Everything else had turned into a brownish, red mush of organs and mud that splattered around the trench and soldiers alike.  

“Real or fake?” Sam followed up, and Mabel paused in thought.  This was a new game that Tony suggests after talking with Wanda about what he been found in her head.  They needed to dig through what Hydra had planted and what was simply a cruel memory from the war.

“-Felt real,” she confessed, picking at her fingers.  “But we were in German uniforms.”

“Did you see anything similar during your time on the front?”  

“Of course I did,” she leaned into the sofa in irritation.  How was that even a question?  Did he not take American history?   He was a military man himself.  Did he not lose companions in violent and unusual ways?  “No one I knew died that way though.  Mustard gas or bullets usually took out the good ones.”

Sam’s eyebrows perked at the mention of the toxic chemical agent.  The trigger word.

“Who’d you lose to the gas?” he asked, leaning forward, his tablet propped up in his lap. His full attention was on Mabel.  They both knew where this was leading without saying a word.

“A lot of people,” she frowned.  She could feel her expression boxing up, her face falling into that emotionless mask.

“A friend maybe?” he pressed, trying to dig the information out of her.  Mabel knew what she was supposed to be saying, but she felt like repeating that moment out loud would be too much to bear.  It’d make it realer than the montage that played in the back of her mind.

“Steve’s father,” she stated, averting her gaze from the man across from her.  “He pushed through to the very end.  He wanted to see his wife and child.  They smoked him out like an animal.  He didn’t even look like a human when he left this world.”

“Do you feel guilty about his death?” Sam asked once Mabel got the information out and tightened her posture in her seat.  “Remorse?  Regret?  These feelings are completely normal when we lose someone.”

“He got gassed because of me.”

There it was.  The biggest weight that Mabel carried inside of her heart.  Every moment following Joseph’s death was tied to the night she and him were supposed to take down a nearby camp.  

“I was supposed to be his second, keeping an eye on the firefight and covering him.  Only him.  But some kid got stabbed near me and I lost focus for a second.  I didn’t even see that the enemy had abandoned their camp until it was too late.  It was a set up.  He was hit with a high concentration and died a few days later.”

“He made his choice,” Sam gently reminded Mabel, but the woman’s expression remained empty.

“He made his choice with the understanding I would provide back-up,” she corrected softly.  “Unfortunately, sometimes people are to blame in things like this.  I’d agreed to give my all and lost concentration.  I didn’t fulfill my end of the deal.”

Sam’s expression softened with every word Mabel spoke, until finally, he voiced his opinion on the subject.

“I lost a man too,” he confessed.  A flicker of pain shot through his body language and Mabel shifted slightly at the subtle change.  “I was back-up and an enemy target shot him right out of the sky.  I was too far away to do anything, and just close enough where I saw the last flickers of life in him.  I was supposed to be on the lookout for any stray militants on the ground.  I miscalculated and he suffered the consequences.”  

“I’m so sorry,” Mabel murmured.  She didn’t know what else to say.  Truly, she was terrible at handling circumstances such as this.

“War is war,” he continued and leaned back into his chair.  “Steve still kicks himself over what happened to Bucky- and the guy literally lives down the hall from him.  Some of them are aching over recent losses, some are finally beginning to heal from scars caused by those they now look up to.  It’s going to keep hurting, but you can’t let the hurt and anger and confusion… you can’t let it take you down.  That’s how they win.”

They being Hydra, she reminded herself silently.  Or they being the ghosts that haunt her nights.

The session continued for only a few moments more, before Sam received an urgent call and had to excuse himself.  Mabel glanced at a nearby clock and realized that they’d only spent half the usual amount of time in their session.

She had a few hours to kill before she was supposed to meet up with Tony and Bruce to try one of the serums that had helped Bucky during his transition.

Where had the others gone?

She mused the question over before remembering that Clint and Bucky were contesting one another in shooting.  From the stories she’d heard, it could be an interesting way to spend the remainder of her afternoon.

Would it be safe?  She wondered aimlessly, walking toward the direction of the training level.  No one was saying code words-  she’d seen plenty of war documentaries… It should be fine.

A greedy voice in the back of her mind was curious if they’d let her have a try at a weapon.

“Clean shot,” Clint complimented the brunette with a short nod.  “But not clean enough.”

“Millimeters,” Bucky complained with a grunt, glancing over at Nat, who was stretching for a sparring match with the shooting contest’s loser.  He threw an arm over his shoulder, beginning to prep for the match against the Russian spy.

“I haven’t lost yet,” Clint replied with a smirk.  “Primarily because I have no intention of fighting her."

“Because you know you’d hate to lose twice,” Natasha shot back, throwing a stray boxing glove in the direction of her partner.

“One hundred percent accurate,” Clint admitted, catching the glove mid-air and setting it to the side.  “Though I wouldn’t mind fighting Mr. Barnes.”

“You just want to get close with me,” Bucky snorted in response, crawling into the ring and stretching his legs.

“You’re onto me, I just love big sweaty meatheads,” the archer laughed.  “Though probably not as much as Miss Foster.”  He said her name with a heavily exaggerated British accent, snickering at his own humor.

“I get the feeling Mae prefers men who are at least mostly made of flesh,” Bucky swung from Natasha’s legs and the redhead dodged the move with irritating grace.  “And probably closer in age.”

“I don’t know; how many centennials do you know?” Natasha smirked, wrapping her legs around Bucky’s waist and pulling him down.  The brunette rolled with the move and turned it against her, rolling her onto her back.

“She and Steve would make cute little blonde babies,” Clint noted casually.

Bucky wasn’t sure why, but the comment tugged at him the wrong way and he threw Natasha a little harder than expected toward the edge of the ring.  He looked at her in horror and quickly helped her back up, but she responded by dropping him to the ground with a foot in his chest.

He laid there a moment, staring up at the ceiling of the training room before a new set of footfalls entered the room.

“I was under the impression he was one of the most feared assassins in the world?” he heard a familiar voice comment to Clint.  The archer snorted in laughter.

She always sounded so polite, despite the sarcasm and rude comments she let slip.  She could probably insult the pope and he wouldn’t even realize it.

“He’s just getting old,” Natasha commented.  “Besides, I think more people are afraid of me."

“I know I certainly am,” Mabel confessed lightly, a small smile sent in the redhead’s direction.  Natasha crawled out of the ring and approached the blonde, sizing the smaller woman up and down.

“You fight pretty well, at least in the brief moments of brainwashing I saw,” she noted and circled Mabel again.  “You wanna give it a shot?”

“No,” Bucky voiced, immediately shooting up from his laying position.  “I think that’s a terrible idea."

But the group continued their discussion, with Clint edging the soldier on, before finally, Mabel relented.

Why did he even bother?  Bucky groaned, rolling off of the ring and approaching the group.

“Do you even know how to throw a punch properly?” he asked exasperated, trying to convince the woman otherwise.  She narrowed her gaze in offense before throwing a perfectly formed punch into his chest.

Bucky would never admit in a million years, but it nearly knocked him off balance.

“I don’t know Mr. Barnes, perhaps I should go back to my needlework,” she shook her head and pushed past him toward the ring where Natasha was now waiting.

“Girl fight!” Clint cheered mockingly, earning a less than polite gesture from Natasha, before the two women began to circle one another.

Bucky watched silently while they continued circling the ring.  They both had a similar approach.  They were the same size roughly, and probably were used to handling much larger opponents.

Mabel’s downfall, however, was that Natasha had a little more experience fighting other women.

The redhead dove first, going for Mabel’s legs, but the blonde leapt up and rolled to the side, narrowly dodging the attack.  She used Nat’s confusion to tackle her from the side, but Natasha brought up an elbow and pushed the blonde off.

“You fight dirty,” Natasha commented, wiping at some dripping sweat.  “I like it.”

The redhead’s eyes were calculating, while Mabel’s hazel gaze was determined to take down the threat.

They collided again, this time Mabel winning the brief match.   It went on like this for a bit longer before Natasha was, once again, determined to be the winner.

“My turn,” Clint announced once Natasha hopped out of the ring.  Mabel didn’t even have a chance to react before the archer was charging toward her.

Their game was a dance of avoidance.  Mabel moved swiftly away from each of Clint’s attacks, trying to throw a blow in whenever she could.  Unfortunately, Clint was significantly more agile than the heiress, and managed a few more hits.

The fight ended with Mabel leaning against the ropes of the fighting ring trying to catch her breath and Clint rolling on the ground laughing about how they needed to get the kid in the field.

“Buck!  Your turn,” Clint rolled toward his friend excitedly.  Bucky shook his head firmly.

“Not today,” he replied, sending a look in Mabel’s direction.  He expected a smile or an acknowledgement of sympathy, but instead the blonde grinned mischievously.

“It’s ok, it wouldn’t be very fair,” she shrugged and started toward the edge of the ring.  “He’s probably too tired.”

Goddamn it, she knew how to get under his skin.  He pulled his shirt off and tossed it at Clint.

“All right grandma, let’s go.” Mabel beamed, cracking her knuckles.

When Clint announced the beginning of the fight, it occurred to Bucky right away that the enhanced woman had been holding back against her non-altered counterparts.

There was significantly more force behind each hit.

He dropped her, she would subsequently bring him down to her level.

She threw elbows and used knees, which normally would have been called on, but Clint wasn’t judging by competition rules.  This was a fight.

Bucky caught her in the side of the mouth, drawing a little blood.  He paused in concern before she merely smirked, wiped it away and went for his torso.

They stumbled to the ground, her pinning him down for just long enough for Clint to call her the winner.

It was close- and if he hadn’t hesitated at seeing her hurt, he would have easily won.

Mabel lingered a moment, her elbows pinning down his chest, smiling in victory at the assassin.

“You can move,” he grunted in irritation, but she dropped more weight down, pressing further into his sternum.

“Make me,” she taunted quietly before he simply flipped her over onto her back.  He could hear her catch her breath before he pinned her shoulders down on the mat.

“You’re a pain sometimes, you know that right?” he muttered before jumping up and crawling out of the ring.

She remained silent, her eyes trailing him on his walk back to Clint.  Natasha soon appeared at her side and helped the blonde back to her feet

Why had he hesitated? Bucky ran through possible explanations all the way back to the shower.

Sure, he’d drawn blood in his sparring partners before.  Shit, he’d probably made Steve bleed more than a hundred times, yet seeing it on Mabel made his mind go haywire.

He turned the water in the training shower as hot as possible, hoping the burning sensation would help clear his mind and give him answers.

France- January 1918

“We’ve located the German scientist; a local family was hiding him in their crawlspace,” Meyer nudged a pale faced woman, and three children forward.  “What should we do with them?”

Mabel looked the family over for a brief moment before shaking her head.  They’d seen better days, though she couldn’t understand their choice in aiding an enemy so cruel and manipulative.

“Treason is punishable by death,” she merely commented.  There wasn’t a single hint of hesitation in her tone.  “They were assisting a mass murderer.”

The mother dropped to her knees and began to beg for the lives of herself and her children; but Mabel turned on the boot of her heel and started back toward the regime waiting ahead.

“Meyer, you have your orders,” she stated with icy finality.  She barely flinched when the gunshots echoed across the snow covered meadow.  Quick and painless.  Hunger probably would have killed most of the children by the end of winter anyway.

Meyer jogged to catch up, his pace lining up with Mabel’s almost identically.

“A little cruel, don’t you think?” he asked quietly.  Mabel stopped in her tracks and looked him over with a narrowed gaze.

“Their interference allowed Hans to go undetected an additional month and a half,” she reminded him.  “That’s a month and a half of loss time- a month and a half of information we could be pulling from him about their grand project.”

Meyer fell silent and shuffled ahead toward the squad.  The men avoided eye contact with Mabel once she approached.  

“We need to get to Amiens by nightfall,” she ordered and the soldiers began to move, dragging along a stumbling Dr. Hans behind their carts.

Joseph would have reasoned that she shown the family mercy, a small voice whispered in the back of her head.  She kept marching along the road, adjusting her rifle strap slightly.

But Joseph is dead and I am not.

PART 8

[theclothingtookyears]

Interview on Sloganeering

Karin: Can you talk me through the concept of sloganeering? Isaac: Sloganeering is the act of writing a slogan or phrase on a surface (bilboarding) or spreading it through other media (radio), mainly for marketing reasons. This has developed to the application of T-shirts. As T-shirts are the most democratic clothing product, they are a great tool for marketing and branding; similar, to bumper stickers, tote bags and key chains. T-shirts are the most popular and affordable item of clothing on the planet. Classless, genderless and cross-cultural, T-shirts are everywhere and here to stay. The contemporary influx of slogan T-shirts comes from a newly frustrated generation, who feel like people in positions of power are not hearing their voices. Citizens feel they have no voice, but they can wear it on a T-shirt and the public can’t not read it. Wearing your rights on your body has resonance. Whatever your “thing” is, there is a clothing piece or accessory that can hep you express that. Karin: What does it mean and what is the history of the phenomenon? Isaac: The easiest way to think of sloganeering is in timeline format. T-shirts were invented in the early 1900’s as an undershirt for men in the military with no laundry capability. They re-emerged in the 1960’s with DIY culture through hands on techniques (Tye dye, silk screening, block printing) as part of a new age philosophy and psychedelic rock. In the 70’s T-shirts became part of punk and grass roots activism, a vehicle for stances on social and political issues. Vivienne Westwood’s “I AM NOT A TERRORIST, Please Don’t Arrest Me”. Or a shirt with a swastika, layered with a crucified Jesus, combined with the word “DESTROY”¬ – a statement against dictatorship; in general statements of solidarity and unity. Katherine Hamnett emerged in the 80’s with bold font T-shirts that you could read from 30 m away. “STOP AND THINK”, “SAVE THE FUTURE”, “CHOOSE LIFE”. Continuing the activism inspired by Westwood, Hamnett stated, “A successful T-shirt has to make you think but then crucially, you have to act”. The end of the century saw Tongue-in-cheek slogans for the fashion world to laugh at itself. Some were funny because they were good jokes, some were funny because they were classics, and a large number were funny simply because someone would actually wear them. The new millennium promoted skanky, sleazy, and vague statements. “Young, willing and eager”, “Hotter than I should be”. Even Paris Hilton was captured by paparazzi wearing a shirt that said “THIS WAS THE ONLY SHIRT I HAD WITH NO CUM ON IT”. Obviously, this was before celebrities had stylists. In this last decade the fourth wave of feminism and “woke” movement used T-shirts that were ethically and morally inspired “This is what a feminist looks like”. “Love trumps hate”. “Poverty is sexist”. Karin: Where does your interest in this topic stem from? What can be deduced from your research? Isaac: What really sparked my interest was when I moved to Europe and saw non-native English speakers wearing English statements across their chests. I understood that these products were available at high volumes,that’s why there were so many popping up – but I was more interested in the motivation for purchase besides the low price point. Why do people voluntary wear text across their chests? Do they understand the statement they are wearing? Does the mass produced T-shirt “Undefeatable” make you feel that way? Do you wear this statement as motivation to feel that way? When you bought it – did you feel undefeatable? Do you feel defeated and want others not to know? There were too many unanswered questions. And once I saw one person wearing a slogan T-shirt I started seeing 20-25 a day, not searching for them, just by getting groceries and riding the train. The role of a fashion designer has always been about making a statement or message. And since the late 1990’s, fashion designers haven’t really considered or been mindful of the complexity of the human form, especially with the evolution of fully verticalized fast fashion retailers. Today, there is less product development in construction and cut and sew techniques and more on decorative elements and graphics, with the emergence of most fashion studios being run by graphic designers. We’ve moved from the idea: “The medium is the message” to “The message is the medium”. Karin: Where do you see the slogan Tee's biggest potential as a social and cultural mobiliser today and in the future? Isaac: I think that irony has dug everyone a hole that is hard to get out of, very comparable to the tone in current politics, where confusion and satire is a commonly adapted tool for manipulation. The new generation of fashion consumers don’t possess much historical knowledge of fashion. To these consumers, whoms knowledge on fashion is quite limited to street wear like, A-Cold-Wall, Alyx and Fear of God, irony seems fresh. This is a bit unnerving and leads me to believe that a slogan T-shirt with just writing and no symbol for context, will just be regarded as a cry for help or nonsensical bullshit. However I do think that, amongst all the nonsense, a return to the roots of smart slogans that Westwood and Hamnett pioneered could evoke curiosity, an emotional response, which could lead to a counter movement. Karin: What social shifts can we see through the evolution of sloganeering? Do you believe words and statements on garments can help bring about social and cultural change? Isaac: I do see that the true investment in clothing is a personal investment in constructing ones self and social identity, and slogan T-shirts can only aid this. Sloganeering is fascinating because if you look at trends in a timeline; they really mirror societal shifts and movements. To not sound overly pessimistic, one can see the decline of slogans mirroring the decline of high quality fashion. There is nothing unique about wearing a shirt that says “Not Normal”, when 100,000 of the same shirts have been mass-produced. Karin: Slogan T-shirts have often been connected to the opposition and worn as an act of activism. However, big fashion houses and established designers have also picked up the trend – what are your thoughts on this? Isaac: I think that the original purpose of wearing a slogan T-shirt has been lost to so many other motivational factors and it’s hard to bring back that authenticity. The motivation for wearing slogan T-shirts has expanded and changed from solely activism to a myriad of arenas. Slogans can be a political voice or statement for social and cultural change, a means of self expression, a way to attract attention to yourself or a way to use your body as a walking billboard. In the era of valorising personal identity, wearing a brand acts as an identity affiliation, even though following a trend is part of something mass market. It can also be an inside joke that unites people and makes a group feel part of something. Karin: What different types of slogans do you see at the moment? Do they follow any specific trends? Isaac: There are a few categories. The designer ones range from vulgar to positive to thought provoking. Designers like Diesel, Dsquared2 and Undercover, have all been experimenting with typeface and iconic terms that become part of their brand identity. The fast fashion slogans are often overly positive or self-critical – sabotaging in a cute way. And the ironic fashion fakes are probably the most interesting in terms of originality and how crude they can be. Karin: Can you tell me about the creative process with stylist Billy Lobos and photographer Spyros Rennt? Isaac: Billy Lobos is a good friend and we always wanted to work together. One day, after reviewing my collection of slogan T-shirts, Billy proposed a concept for an archival photo shoot. The photos were meant to be similar to my way of documenting T-shirts on Instagram, stalker- like pictures where the goal is to get a photo of the text on T-shirts, with little consideration of the wearer. Billy casted and styled models in their everyday clothes and directed Spyros to take very quick, unstaged, subtle photos of essentially pedestrians. Karin: How did the photos by Spyros Rennt translate into sweaters? Isaac: Spyros Rennt did a really good job. He doesn’t work as a typical fashion photographer and Billy and I didn’t see the photos translating into a campaign or lookbook. The photos were bold and simple, which translated well optically into pixelated knit structures. When you’re far away enough from the sweaters, you can read the slogans, which is the often the situational context I find myself in when I see a slogan T-shirt. Karin: What is the point of putting pictures of people wearing garments on a garment? Isaac: This project started with a lot of questions I had for people wearing slogan T-shirts. I think it’s funny to superimpose the two – wearing a person with a specific branded identity. People who wear slogan T-shirts can’t see how they look like to the public. It’s like giving someone a mirror of their own identity and making them be self-reflective of the image they are portraying. Karin: What does wearing statements have to do with "No Shame"? Isaac: I think the people that wear slogan T-shirts, band shirts, sport teams – it’s all a way of showing your pride and alignment with something or being part of a group. When someone catches me staring at their T-shirt in the street, they don’t look down and become insecure with what their wearing and sharing, they look me directly in the eye with confidence. These people have no shame and stand by their beliefs, values and branding. I wanted to document the confidence, esteem and pride of these people. Karin: We've seen high street shops selling T-shirts with statements related to topics like feminism for years. At the same time they are called out for being more interested in profit than activism. Is it possible to avoid that these statements empty out? Isaac: I don’t think buying a mass-market product helps the associated cause, unless a financial portion is allocated to an activist group responsible for change. What Katherine Hamnett did in 1984, making an anti-nuclear protest, was innovative beyond imagination today. She made her “58% DON’T WANT PERSHING” T-shirt for a fashion reception, which Margaret Thatcher was hosting. Margaret Thatcher decided to allow the U.S. perishing missiles to be stationed in Britain, which was very controversial and many decided to boycott this fashion event. Hamnett, however thought of it as a great PR opportunity. She smuggled her T-shirt into the event, wearing a white coat over it and right when she had the opportunity to take a picture with Margaret Thatcher she unveiled her shirt. Thatcher said: “You seem to be wearing a rather strong message on your T-shirt”, and bent down to read it and let out a squawk, like a chicken. This perfect opportunity and the exposure by the media gave power to the slogan T-shirt that mass-produced activist shirts will never be able to surpass.

[adriennescomingbacktolife]

           There it was.    The Baltimore City Championship. Resplendent in all of its glory. The golden plates shimmered in the overhead lighting. Encased in glass, it rested on a dark red velvet pillow.    Adrienne Levi shared that bright spotlight. She would be one of the women competing for the honor of representing Carnage Wrestling and its home city at the 100th edition of Chaos. Sitting in a chair, elevated far off the ground, she adjusted a mic clip to the collar of her logo t-shirt.    Looking at the camera, she smiled and asked, “We on?”    The red recording light on the camera answered that question for her. Adrienne exhaled sharply as she considered her words. Here she was, on stage, speaking to an opportunity that rarely comes. Earned through unorthodox means. Against an adversary that had been her partner for the last month.    “I haven’t talked about this much,” Adrienne said as she gestured to the championship on her right, “and to tell the truth, it’s because I didn’t totally believe that this would happen. Everyone has been so gracious in their assessments. That I deserve this. That I’ve come a long way.”    Smiling graciously, she cast a small glance towards the case.    “Thank you.”    Steepling her hands in her lap, Adrienne leaned forward.    “These past few weeks have been challenging. Losing stinks but that isn’t what this is about. I’m not the sort of girl who dwells on one bad night at work.”    Thinking back to former champion Eli Goode, he became more and more unhinged with every defeat. His delusion grew as he talked about which championships mattered and didn’t. It had consumed him.    And everyone now seemed to be an enemy to him. Things that had never been said by her were attributed to her without a second thought.    Nervous to admit, Adrienne saw a strange parallel emerging in her current circumstances.    “No, that isn’t it. I told you all right away. I’m not new to this industry. I don’t have the accolades or credibility of all of you, but that’s okay. Everything I’ve earned has been right here this year. But prior to Carnage, I was,” Adrienne paused, reaching behind her to retrieve a folded up photograph. Carefully, she opened it. For just a second, her eyes narrowed, and her expression could be construed as contempt. She turned the photo forward before continuing. “This was me.”    Adrienne was certainly right in the corner, but this was the “first autograph” she had shared earlier this summer. Someone else was featured prominently: “Magnificent” Danny Levi.    “Well, Danny and me.”    She tossed it aside, and the piece of bent up glossy paper floated down onto the wooden stage.    “You can draw your own conclusions here. Or if you want to, go on to YouTube and look up Danny Levi’s Greatest Hits. I’ve given up trying to remove the compilation of every time he struck me. Clearly, people enjoy watching it more than anything else he ever did. And as you all know, he’s gone.”    This had been no real secret. It’s just something she didn’t want to talk about much. Recent events had forced her hand.    Softer this time, she said, “He’s gone.”        That night was not Adrienne’s best effort. She had been a non factor against Axton Gunn and Sebastian Hawke. Leaving The Dragon Lady to twist in the wind. And in the end, they had lost.    Not that she really cared. Uncharastically, Adrienne left the show early. Within twenty minutes, she was back at Kohaku’s apartment, slowly emptying an unwieldy three-liter jug of zinfandel. Getting on Twitter, she poured out her guts and then logged off. Should have probably not pressed Send on those. Setting down her glass, she hiccuped. Feeling queasy, she realized this was a poor idea. However, it was the only thing she could do to take off the edge.    Everything piled up, and anyone who she thought would understand - was possibly part of the problem. Or reminded her.    The fox had held to his word. Phone number no longer worked. He was long gone. All that was left was that confusing book. Something she couldn’t even wrap her mind around with the rockstar around.    Axton Gunn had upset the apple cart.    It wasn’t him exactly, it was --    There was a sharp knock at the door.    Adrienne tried to remember if she had ordered delivery. Or if it was just one of those “wine and me” sort of evenings.        But before she could get off from the couch, the door opened. She sat there, dumbfounded, as Danny Levi sauntered through the doorway. He had cleaned up nice. Always valued a nice fitting suit.    Giving her a little wave, he smiled, “Surprised, aren’t you?”    “How?”    Raising an eyebrow, he pointed to the wine with an appraising look. “What do you think, Ade?”    Waltzing into the kitchen, he opened the fridge.    Disappointed, he called back out to her. Adrienne hadn’t left the couch as she stared at the still open door, “You aren’t a very generous host, are you? I could go for a nice porterhouse right now.”    Danny entered the living room. Nonchalantly, he plopped down on the couch next to his wife.    “I mean if I weren’t wormfood.” Laughing incredulously, he placed a warm hand on Adrienne’s shoulder. She closed her eyes. His exclamation pierced her mind with ease, “Goddamn. You can’t even look at your old man?”    “Cuz, you aren’t real.”    With deep, slow breathing, she tried to refocus on the night she had been having prior.    “Of course, I’m not real, you dumb bitch. So, just look at me.”    Danny’s arm shot forward, grasping her jaw and twisting her head towards him. He spoke low, hissing through his teeth, “Look. At. Me.”    Adrienne’s slowly opened her eyes. Danny Levi smiled that crooked grin. On closer inspection, his skin was pallid, and he looked like he hadn’t rested for a long long time.    “Good girl.”    He let go. Danny eyed the contents of the coffee table, besides the wine that is. Adrienne had been signing a stack of autographs to mail out in the next few days.    “Doing alright for yourself, aren’t you?” He said insincerely. Grabbing one up, he eyed up the promo photo. It was one in her new full bodysuit. She smiled at the camera, fists balled up, and ready to right. Her looping signature was bold and elegant. “What the fuck are you even wearing here?”    “I like it.”    “Nobody cares what you like.” Chuckling, he moved on, tossing the photo back on the pile. “You remember the good old days? That little blue dress. The first few rows would always try to see up your skirt. Don’t blame them; you were a good piece of ass, Ade.”    Danny pantomimed a chef’s kiss. Adrienne looked back towards the door, and she could have sworn he had left it open as he strolled in.    “Be serious. This is just the worst of who I was. How you choose to remember me, right? We haven’t talked in so long. I know you said goodbye. Disposed of me like garbage. Tossed away that ring of yours into the drink. Moved far, far away. And promised that you’d never think of me again.”    Wrapping an arm around her shoulder, Danny drew her in. He smelled of decay.    “But thanks to Axxxxxton,” sarcastically, he exaggerated his name in a manner she was familiar with, “I found you.”    “Wasn’t his fault.”    “I know, I know. Could have been anyone. Fitting it was that piece of Cali trash. Remember the time when I tore up that special poster. Signed just for you, and you wouldn’t shut the fuck up about it. Moped around for days until I set you straight.”    Danny messed her hair up with an affectionate nuzzle.    “You always come around eventually.”    Adrienne swallowed hard. His imagined touch repulsed him. This past summer, she had seen and heard things she couldn’t begin to explain. And here was another one. But she knew he was gone. She saw the light leave his eyes.    “Side effects of becoming a drunk, I suppose. See, you can run away from mommy, but I’ll always be inside you. Like a parasite, Adrienne.”    Abruptly pushing her away, he then stood up.    “Anything to say for yourself?”    Staring at the ground, Adrienne mumbled to herself, “What’s the point?”    “None really,” he concluded, “I just wanted to see if you had it in you. Here’s your chance. You’re the hero of the story, and I’m the villain. Look at me with all of my flaws, and you’d see I ended up being a truly despicable person. And here you are. You know the truth, you’re right down in the hole with me. You are moldering beside me. You keep manifesting these ways out, but fuck, none of them are real.”    Danny started to take off his suit jacket, folding it neatly on a chair next to the couch.    “So, maybe I should stick around. Perhaps every night, when you’re all by your lonesome, I’ll drop by. We can reminisce about all of the bad times. Maybe you throw me a fuck for old time’s sake. Maybe Fairman takes a break from his eternal rest, and you swallow him whole. As awful as I was, I was always a generous man. You gotta give me that.”    She shook her head, unsteadily. He sat down in the chair. Unzipping his fly, Danny signaled to her with a disingenuous suggestive tone.    “Danny’s had a long day, Ade. Why don’t you--”    Her phone chimed. It startled her, but it also made her realize that she was alone in the literal sense. Gathering her scruples, Adrienne clicked on the notification.    A brief, direct message from Matt Knox. Yo. kidYou're lovedSee you at 100        “I’m just trying to start over.”    Adrienne recalled the conversation she had with Amber last month. Ultimately, she just wanted to prove Danny wrong. She never considered that she’d become so attached to the people here to the point where she would quit an unsatisfying but secure job. Or running away from her family like she were some wronged teenager.    “It hasn’t been smoothest road. But this shot represents something I’ve never had. I’ve always stood in someone else’s shadow. And while I’m not that impressive compared to others, I’ve worked hard to get better.”    She paused, giving the belt another look. Who wouldn’t fantasize about that moment? She would bask in the glow of victory, holding that championship high.    “I deserve this.”    That statement hung in the air. It was something that many have said. Depending on who, it always took on a different feel.    “But not more so than The Dragon Lady.”    Adrienne wanted to give this woman her utmost attention. It was time.    “I guess I’d like to apologize to you formally about the last match. My head wasn’t in the game, and it cost us against a unit that had something to prove. To some, that makes things interesting. Personally, It hasn’t changed much. This was going to happen either way. The next Baltimore City Champion will be one of us.” Adrienne chuckled briefly, “Is that enough sports cliches for you?”    She steeled her resolve. Adrienne always found these next moments difficult, and after Axton, she was perhaps more reluctant than ever.    “We’ve spent a lot of time together. Trained. Ate together. I even met your manager.”    Mameha was impressive. She enjoyed her company, and the excellent tea certainly helped.    “But we always knew that everything led to 100. That every action would be measured. These past few times, I guarantee we’ve studied each other just as much as our opponents. I know my weaknesses. I know that I can’t match your skill or ability. I don’t possess the knowledge you have when it comes to a good fight. But that’s the thing.”    She paused, emoting that this was a realization for the audience to hear.    “I don’t need to. I just need to be me. I know this will be the most challenging match of my life. You aren’t some cartoon villain like Grant or Winter. You’re not lashing out at shadows like Eli Goode. You’re one of the most formidable opponents I’ll ever step into the ring with. Some of your decisions have perplexed others. You gave up an opportunity for the Chaos title to roll in the mud with Alex Winter. It’s not hard to see why.”    Adrienne thought back briefly to Winter. Nobody seemed to be learning the nature of this guy. Every action creates a reaction. Whoever chose to accost Alex has only made it worse.    “He gets under your skin. And by hook or crook, he humiliated you. I think we were fortunate against the likes of Goode and Matthews. Your attention seemed to be on Alex Winter that evening.” She raised her pointer finger in the air as to qualify her statement, “This isn’t to say that you can’t walk and chew gum at the same time but could have been a different story if Goode or Matthews were actually on the same page.”    And that brought her to their most recent outing.    “And while I was far from my best against Gunn and Hawke, I would be remiss if they didn’t get credit for their outstanding teamwork. Their game plan was simple.”    Taking a moment, she leaned forward.    “You.”    And she hated to admit that, but the strategy was plain as day.    “At first, I considered this to be an exhibition of sorts. I had my apprehensions about Axton Gunn. I’ve explained it enough. Sebastian was a little abrasive at first, so it was strange to hear such shining praise from his lips. But I think what you did only served to put a fire under them. It gave them the motivation to work together and wipe away that initial sting of defeat. I still don’t know either of them very well. Axton, sure. He’s a big deal. But personally?” Adrienne shook her head. “So I would hope that this championship is your focus this week.”    The camera panned out slightly to put Adrienne and the title in the shot.    “Because I wouldn’t be a student of the game if I didn’t take advantage. I want to become champion. I’m not sure if I can say it any better. I’m not like the Jack Michaels of old. I’m not Mitch. Or Silvio. Or anyone else for that matter. I just know that it’d mean a lot to represent this company. A company that, despite whatever issues linger, gave me a chance. It would mean everything for me to represent a city and a community that has welcomed me with open arms.”    Shrugging her shoulders, she concluded, “I guess it would make me happy.”    Adrienne shared a little smile. Not a lot to smile about recently. But again, that little fantasy took root. It would be awful nice. She had a guest coming, and with every passing conversation with Sylvia, she thought it would be cool if she saw her win that title. Retrieving a little slip of paper from her jeans pockets, she read it to herself.    “I’ve been thinking about this a lot. The Dragon Lady probably knows what this is or at least whose handwriting this is.” Tapping a finger against the note, she said, “She’s right. Just a few months ago, I was huffing and puffing my way through my debut against Starburst. And before that, my life was just passing me by because I don’t think I understood who I am. Who I could be. I’m not sure I should be so definite here, but these chances like this don’t come often. I have to seize this opportunity. It won’t come easy. But this right here is my story, my life, and yeah, this might be my only chance for it. I’m choosing to rise and become a champion this city can be proud of.”    Tucking the note back away, she then slid off the chair onto her feet. She didn’t fall on her face on camera, fortunately.    “I hope that’s okay with you. But either way, that’s who I am. A champion in the making. The future. Whatever else others want to say.”    Danny Levi’s specter remained, and so maybe it didn’t have to be one thing or other. Adrienne could fall in love with this business, and at the same time, she could take everything he had ever had. His claim to fame. His success. And more…    Adrienne Levi’s mouth twisted in a slightly mischievous smile. Knowing she could get away with this, and it would infuriate him.    “Maybe at the end of the night, you’ll just call me Magnificent.”

[jeremystrele]

The Colourful Melbourne Home Of Two Art & Design Aficionados!

The Colourful Melbourne Home Of Two Art & Design Aficionados!

Homes

by Lucy Feagins, Editor

Large photograph by Eryca Green. Owl photograph by Gary Heery. Lithograph by Victor Pasmore. Seed paintings 1 and 2 by Louise Olsen. ‘I feel most sentimental about the artworks in the house,’ says Eryca. ‘I love to have the work of people I know. Louise Olsen and Stephen Ormandy are amongst our dearest friends, and having their work in my home is incredibly special to me. These paintings by Louise were from her first show, and are so precious.’ Photo – Caitlin Mills for The Design Files. Styling – Annie Portelli

Eddy Opmanis and Eryca Green. Photo – Caitlin Mills for The Design Files. Styling – Annie Portelli

Bronze pod sculpture by Ulan and Rachel. ‘Ulan and Rachel are my dear friends. They do much bigger sculptures which I would love to own one day, but for now I just love this seed pod,’ says Eryca. Photo – Caitlin Mills for The Design Files. Styling – Annie Portelli

This is one STATEMENT living room! Photo – Caitlin Mills for The Design Files. Styling – Annie Portelli

Bronze pod sculpture by Ulan and Rachel. Photo – Caitlin Mills for The Design Files. Styling – Annie Portelli

Every angle of the house reveals fresh contours of a different piece of art! Photo – Caitlin Mills for The Design Files. Styling – Annie Portelli

Photographs by Eryca Green. Small paintings on timber by Emma De Clario. Stone sculpture Stephen Ormandy. Photo – Caitlin Mills for The Design Files. Styling – Annie Portelli

Resin table and art vase by Dinosaur Designs. Small photograph by Bill Henson. Geometric painting by Louise Tuckwell. Lower right artwork by Noah Dean. Photo – Caitlin Mills for The Design Files. Styling – Annie Portelli

This house is full of deep, bright jewel tones! Photo – Caitlin Mills for The Design Files. Styling – Annie Portelli

Resin vessel on table from Dinosaur Designs newest collection. Photo – Caitlin Mills for The Design Files. Styling – Annie Portelli

The yellow feature wall brings rich, retro sunshine into the dining room. Photo – Caitlin Mills for The Design Files. Styling – Annie Portelli

Large painting and resin sculpture both by Stephen Ormandy. Resin table from Dinosaur Designs. Cushion and throw by HOPONIT designs. Sity sofa by Antonio Citterio from Modern Times. Photo – Caitlin Mills for The Design Files. Styling – Annie Portelli

Photographs by me (Eryca Green!). Small painting by emerging artist Camille Ormandy, that she did because she was inspired by the photo I took of my brother. I absolutely love having the photo and painting together! Photo – Caitlin Mills for The Design Files. Styling – Annie Portelli

Stereo by Brionvega from Smith Street Bazaar. Clay sculptures by Clay Canoe. Small painting by Peter Edgeley (who is the father of Eryca’s model and muse, Alice Edgeley – these connections mean so much!). Small bowls Dinosaur Designs. Photo – Caitlin Mills for The Design Files. Styling – Annie Portelli

Large painting and resin sculpture both by Stephen Ormandy. Resin table from Dinosaur Designs. Cushion and throw by HOPONIT designs. Sity sofa by Antonio Citterio from Modern Times. Photo – Caitlin Mills for The Design Files. Styling – Annie Portelli

Table from Smith Street Bazaar. Small resin sculpture Dinosaur Designs. Photo – Caitlin Mills for The Design Files. Styling – Annie Portelli

A heavenly corner filled with treasures. Photo – Caitlin Mills for The Design Files. Styling – Annie Portelli

Eryca found the signed Japanese prints of the four seasons above her bed many years ago in an op-shop! Photo – Caitlin Mills for The Design Files. Styling – Annie Portelli

Chair by Ettore Sottsass from Castorina & Co. Eryca bought the sideboard in Northern Italy, which was meant to go into their shop! Photo – Caitlin Mills for The Design Files. Styling – Annie Portelli

The salon wall in the second bedroom is iconic! Photo – Caitlin Mills for The Design Files. Styling – Annie Portelli

Ceramic glove moulds from Mr Tarlo. Resin hand Dinosaur Designs. Photo – Caitlin Mills for The Design Files. Styling – Annie Portelli

The exterior of this exquisite California bungalow. Photo – Caitlin Mills for The Design Files. Styling – Annie Portelli

Eryca Green doesn’t love the words ‘quirky’ and ‘eclectic’, but it’s very tricky to describe the home she shares with her partner, Eddy Opmanis, without using these descriptors! The couple are the owners of Opmanis & Green, and Melbourne vintage destination Smith Street Bazaar, so their home is naturally filled with fantastic art and furniture pieces, all of which tell a story. ‘We both admire minimalism, but neither of us is capable of such a thing,’ Eryca says. ‘I spend a great deal of time sitting in a lovely chair, looking at art that we have collected from some very dear and incredibly talented friends… Whether it’s from a high-end gallery or a flea market, it is here because it is loved.’

It’s not only the furnishings here that are embedded with history, but the property itself. Originally owned by his grandmother, this house became Eddy’s childhood home, before he took ownership six years ago and Eryca moved in. 

There have been two renovations to this property in the last 10 years alone (‘It would appear that Brunswick is sinking faster than Venice!’ says Eryca), but neither is the final result, so for now the house remains a work in progress. While the pair hopes to eventually complete another re-stump then a conclusive renovation, every builder they’ve consulted with unfortunately recommends demolishing the house and starting over. ‘This means that we never quite feel settled, but it does free us up in many ways too. I hammer in nails willy-nilly whenever I feel like changing where the pictures hang, or I paint a wall an outlandish colour,’ says Eryca. ‘It’s all a bit of an experiment really – practice for when we are grown up enough to do it properly!’

Bold colour is one of the defining characteristics of this home, as seen in the perfectly pink living room walls, teal velvet curtains and mustard-hued dining space. ‘Many people are afraid of colour (Eddy included). Me, not a bit!’ says Eryca. ‘Seriously, what’s the worst that can happen? It is such a great way to reinvent a space with very little expense.’ 

One of the elements the couple most appreciate about this property is the combination of privacy and community it offers. ‘It is remarkably peaceful here, especially now that the garden is becoming more established,’ says Eryca. ‘It feels so private, and yet Eddy has known the neighbours for 50 years, so there’s always a smile and a wave and a cheerful hello’.

This home is a constantly changing space that perfectly reflects its passionately creative owners. ‘We have some great pieces, but we are not precious. A home is for living in, not looking at,’ Eryca says. ‘I would describe our style as decorative, ever-evolving, creative, and I hope, welcoming and warm.’

There is certainly no lack of personality and history in this charming and yes… we’re saying it… eclectic home!

Check out Eryca and Eddy’s fabulous vintage market in Fitzroy at Smith Street Bazaar here! 

[kentonramsey]

We Photographed 15 People In The Outfit They’ll Wear When Lockdown Lifts

It’s easy to brush it off as one of the more trivial aspects of lockdown life but our changing approach to dressing over the past few months has affected everything from productivity to our sense of self. We embraced loungewear with open arms at first but as it became apparent that this was indeed The New Normal™, the novelty wore off and we grasped at small things – jewellery and lipstick for Zoom meetings, a joyful blouse for the big food shop – to reestablish some semblance of normality in our daily lives. 

We may not be dancing in our favourite club or having dinner parties with friends in the near future but as lockdown restrictions start to ease (for now), we’ve been ruminating on the outfit we’ll wear when life resumes. We can’t know with any certainty what that life will look like, but we can dream up the ‘fit we’ll don when it’s time. 

Our curiosity about how other people have been dressing led us to work with photographer Poppy Thorpe on this lockdown photo series. She used her one hour of daily exercise to cycle around her native Brighton and take socially distanced photos of people wearing the looks they’ll dress in when they’re out and about in the real world once more. From colours that inspire confidence to getting reacquainted with a favourite pair of jeans, here’s what they can’t wait to wear again.

Yolande, 21

“My approach to dressing is pretty eclectic but I still try to keep it simple. I wear a lot of statement jewellery as I study 3D design and craft at uni, so most of the week I’m in steel-toe boots and workshop clothes. At weekends or if I’m going out I normally just add some more accessories and a bit of colour. In lockdown I have started to wear more of my ‘nice clothes’ by mixing them up with a lot of comfy stuff too. I have tried to make an effort with my appearance, even if I’m going to the shops. Now when I get ready it feels like I’m dressing up for myself and I worry less about other people’s opinions. I have so many clothes that are only for special occasions, it now seems silly not to wear them as the events I have been saving them for are all cancelled anyway. One plus side to lockdown is having the time to focus on the things I really enjoy doing: I love being more active and taking time out of the day to be creative for myself.

I’m wearing a colourful kimono I got in a charity shop a few years ago; I’ve worn it to festivals and parties over the years but have never really felt confident enough to wear it out in general. Every time I put it on it makes me happy as it reminds me of so many memories. I picked it as I’m trying to embrace colour more and be confident in being bold. The plain black trousers are a pair I keep for smart days. They’re not my favourite pair of trousers but I like the simple shape and they’re black, so they go with most things. They’re just really comfy and that’s been important to me during lockdown. I love how comfy this ribbed halterneck top is. I’ve actually stopped wearing bras a lot recently and this is one of the tops that has replaced them for me while staying home. My white Dr. Martens are one of my favourite pairs of shoes; I’ve just been in trainers recently so I am very excited to get back into them. I bought them with the money from my first job nearly six years ago, so they have done well in lasting this long.”

Susan, 38

“I always want to feel comfortable and relaxed. I wear a lot of worn-in vintage and a few well-made new pieces. I put thought into getting dressed in the morning and then don’t really want to think about it for the rest of the day. I’m always inspired by the Instagram accounts Chinatown Pretty and Gramparents. My style hasn’t changed massively since lockdown. I had just moved to Edinburgh to start a new job but I came back to Brighton to work remotely and be with my husband, so I’ve got much less choice but I’m still really enjoying putting an outfit together in the morning. Even if it’s sweatpants, it’s still considered and gets me in the right mindset for the working day in my makeshift office! It’s been a good distraction. One positive to come out of lockdown has been spending time with my husband Neil and our cat Baby. We’d been living apart for about three months and likely will again after lockdown. I’m trying to make the most of the weird circumstances. 

I wore this look because I miss layering and wearing denim! My jeans were the first thing I put in my suitcase to come here, but I think I’ve had them on for about two hours total since I arrived seven weeks ago. They’re vintage Levi’s that I bought on eBay after having a saved search for a particular pair of 501s for ages. I’ve had them for about four or five years and I love them – they’re probably the most worn piece in my wardrobe. The denim shirt is from orSlow, one of my favourite Japanese brands. It’s technically Neil’s but I love it and borrow as much as he’ll let me away with. He granted me an extended loan the last time he visited me in Edinburgh and I want to wear it every day. The T-shirt underneath is a new purchase from Story Mfg, a brand that is doing things right! It’s possibly the best T-shirt I’ve ever had. Thick cotton, oversized and boxy. So comfortable. My mum knit this Aran jumper for me (one of many) and it’s basically a hug from my mum while I’m so far away from my parents. I always look forward to wearing socks and sandals as it warms up after winter (it was still so cold when I left Scotland) and now it’s summer and I’ve not had nearly enough opportunity to wear them outside!”

Daisy, 21

“I’m usually pretty casual. I think my style is always changing but always includes a lot of denim, knitwear and faux fur. I’ve recently stopped buying from fast fashion brands and I think my approach to dressing has evolved since then, because my wardrobe has been shed of all the cheap and badly made clothing that I was holding onto, and gained some pre-loved gems. I guess my style hasn’t changed much since lockdown; it has only been muffled by the fact that there is nowhere to go. I’ve tried to continue to get dressed and do my makeup routine most days, just so I feel good and stay motivated, but there have been some days that I’ve stayed in pyjamas and watched films all day. One positive to come out of all of this is being able to spend time crocheting! Crocheting is my favourite thing to do in my spare time and it brings me so much inner peace. Usually I have a part-time job at a charity shop and I’m in the midst of completing an MA in media and politics, so there’s not much time left to sit down, relax and crochet up a storm. 

I created the pattern for and crocheted this jumper, inspired by the basic granny square – I feel best when I’m wearing clothes that I’ve created myself.

These jeans are my favourite pre-loved Levi’s, the only pair I have that fit me properly, and the boots are vintage. I’ve never owned boots other than Dr. Martens before, so I thought these would be a timeless addition to my wardrobe. My earrings are from the independent brand Han Makes – I love the ‘60s inspo.” 

Celeste, 24 

“My go-to formula for getting dressed is the biggest tee I can find, straight-leg trousers and a Birkenstock and socks combination. I purposefully never have a huge amount of clothes, so I tend to rotate a few neutral staples and pair with something a bit more interesting like a tie-dye, long-sleeve or slogan tee. Since I’m usually busy in the studio, I tend to prioritise clothes that are easy to work in, and I like to have a ‘uniform’ so that I can get ready and out of the house without too much decision-making but still curate an outfit I’m going to enjoy wearing! I’ve been dressing the same as usual since lockdown, even putting on shoes in the morning to make me feel like I’m going to work. When I came down to Brighton before lockdown I packed an unreasonably small suitcase so I’ve been rotating the same three outfits for the past seven weeks. In some ways it’s been quite a fun challenge to make an outfit you like when you have such limited options, and to keep things fresh I’ve been altering or making bits for myself when I’m feeling really uninspired. I will definitely appreciate the rest of my wardrobe when I finally make it back to London, though. I’ve been super busy making face masks for the past month, but I’ve had so much more time than usual to design new clothes and work on my pattern cutting. It’s been a needed change of pace for me and I can’t wait to share what I’ve been working on, hopefully in the not-too-distant future.

I didn’t have anything here that I felt excited about wearing now, let alone after lockdown! So I decided to adapt a plain white tee I had and make a pair of trousers in an attempt to have an outfit I felt more inspired by. I often upcycle old tees and enjoy how a small alteration can totally change the energy of a piece and re-inspire the way you view what’s in your wardrobe. The outfit is super simple (which is always my vibe) and it always feels very satisfying to wear a whole outfit that I’ve made myself! I paired it with my favourite gold hoops.”

Jazz, 22

“I dress depending on my mood. I could be out in pyjamas one day and something super elaborate the next, but the dream is to be as stylish as Tracee Ellis Ross. Like most people, lockdown has put sweats on heavy rotation. At the start I would dress up and put on makeup as a treat to queue for groceries, but now I don’t think I’ll ever regain the willpower to put on a pair of jeans. I have to finish my final year of university in lockdown so it’s been stressful for me. My cat on the other hand is loving the 24/7 attention. He’s on episode 2 of Primates and he’s almost learned how to fetch. I actually ordered this dress for a special Zoom occasion. It didn’t arrive in time so I’m wearing it for the first time for you! I don’t have any shoes that go with it. My necklace and ring are from Rwanda by an artist named Abraham Konga and are made from melted down brass padlocks.”

Ella, 21, & Mae, 17

Ella [L]: “When it comes to dressing I don’t have one strict approach, but I’ve accumulated a collection over the years from flea markets and vintage stores. Since lockdown began I have focused more on comfort, wearing T-shirts with loose skirts or jeans almost every day. One positive thing about lockdown is that I’ve managed to finish projects that I wouldn’t have had the time to finish otherwise. I’m wearing a checked silk dress which I got for my birthday a couple of years ago. I don’t have many items of clothing that I wear frequently but this is one of them. It’s easy to wear and really comfy. The red boots are from a sample sale in Paris. They have a shearling lining and are some of the easiest heels I own. I wear heels most of the time but haven’t since lockdown began, so this felt like a good excuse to put a pair on again.”

Mae [R]: “My approach is based on the things I can find in charity shops and car boot sales. I’m always in search of a bargain! I’ve been doing a lot of painting around the house, so I’ve been mainly in overalls recently. A positive for me is that I’ve had the time to sew and make some clothes – hopefully I’m learning new things. I’m wearing a vintage nightdress I got from a car boot sale a while ago. I have a bit of an addiction to buying nighties but I love to wear them in the summer because of how light and easy they are. My cowboy boots, which I’ve worn nearly every day since I found them, were a fiver from a charity shop, and the socks are stolen from my sister.”

Scarlett, 27

“I’ve always loved to dress up. I’m a queer high femme so fashion and clothing is a really important part of my self-expression. I feel most myself wearing an all-black ‘fit, bright red lipstick and winged eyeliner. Because I’m just staying at home I haven’t really felt like getting dressed up – I tend to wear comfy clothes around the house – but this does have a negative effect on my mood, so I’ll still put something nice on every few days and do my makeup. Me and my partner have been doing a date night every Friday night, and we run a club night together (Gal Pals) where we’ve been hosting virtual parties every fortnight, so that’s been a really good reason to get glammed up and put on a look. A positive to come out of lockdown for me has been cycling. I’ve never been a confident cyclist and had never cycled on the road until lockdown but the lack of cars on the road makes it a lot less scary. I wish the level of traffic could stay this way to be honest, it’s good for the environment and it encourages more people to cycle. 

I’m wearing something I bought before lockdown but never got the chance to wear outside. It’s a pink frilly tulle dress I got super cheap in the Topshop sale, with a red velvet bodysuit underneath. It’s basically a Molly Goddard knockoff, I’ve always loved her dresses but I’d never be able to afford one so as soon as I saw this I knew I had to buy it. To be honest, I’m not sure where I’d wear this outfit even if we weren’t in lockdown, maybe to a party or something? It’s very over the top. I feel a bit like a meringue wearing it but I love it.”

Lucia, 23

“Two friends can describe my style better than I ever could – ‘randomised Sim’ and ‘Euro/Italo-glam’ – so it’s definitely a combination of those! My approach to dressing is also influenced by the places I’m in or what I’m doing that day. I love films and characters, so I think sometimes I play up to this in how I dress myself. Sort of like that feeling when you are on a train, looking out the window and listening to music and you imagine that you are in the music video. All I am doing in lockdown is rotating between sportswear and the same pair of trousers and jumper. I have seen loads of people getting properly dressed up for video calls and it looks fun, but I just don’t have the motivation. I have realised a lot of what drives my love of getting dressed is the joy of being out and about in the outfits I have put together. A positive to come out of lockdown is my 50-day streak on Duolingo! I’m finally trying to learn Italian in order to match my very Italian name. Plus I’m spending lots of time with my family.

The first outfit I’ll wear when lockdown lifts will probably be something way more skimpy because, at the moment, that’s my reaction to being cooped up in my house for eight weeks. I want to take all my clothes off just because…it’s a change! However, I’m in lockdown at my parents’ house on the street I grew up in, so I didn’t feel like posing at my front door Love Island-style in a bikini and heels. I chose this outfit because I really want to wear it to go clubbing! Despite having gone off clubs a bit over the last year, all I want to do every weekend in lockdown is go out, drink and dance with friends… I guess you don’t realise what you had ‘til it’s gone. When it’s safe and okay for the clubs to reopen I’ll be going in hard at an ‘80s synth pop night in this look. With the trousers in particular, I’m eager to wear them out because they are uncomfortable to sit down in, and I’d really like to wear something right now where I’m sacrificing comfort for PURE GLAMOUR!” 

Tendai, 25

“I dress for the occasion but mostly for comfort, as I think there’s no point in going out in something but spending most of the night pulling down your dress in distress because you don’t feel 100%. That hasn’t changed much since lockdown; I’ve got my daytime pyjamas to potter around in and my actual pyjamas, and the occasional frock comes out once every two weeks to drink gin in the living room. A positive of lockdown? Being comfortable with the passing of time and the mundanity of just watching the days go by. Being able to stop, think and be okay with it. 

I’m wearing a white bandeau top because I love having my shoulders on show, and a burnt orange wrap skirt because I like the colour with my complexion. Big gold hoops are just a staple in my life, I wear more hoops than I eat five a day. There isn’t a story behind the clothes themselves, because they are fairly new purchases, but I guess the silhouette and the colours just make me feel like summer. Like ciders in the park, BBQs on the beach, long warm evenings turning into cool sunny mornings because you’ve been up that late, and that freedom that comes along with finishing work and running out the door like you don’t have to be there again tomorrow.”

Grace, 23

“I prefer strong blocks of colours, like red, black, white or brown. To me these are reliable and stable. That’s the base I tend to start with, and I can pair each of these colours with makeup and accessories that tie the outfit together. I’m definitely my happiest when my outfit is colour-coordinated. I’ve been wearing more loungewear during lockdown but still use the same colour palette as my other clothes. When I go on a walk or to the shops, my colours are still on standby. It suits my frame of mind. I don’t like fussiness or pattern; for me it’s about shape, reliable colour and comfort. One positive of lockdown for me would be being okay on my own and learning to listen to my own needs more. It’s been really good for my mental health too, just really focusing on myself I guess. 

Today I’ve decided to wear my beautiful red leather jacket. My girlfriend got it for me for Christmas and I am yet to pull a look with it. Once lockdown is lifted I will most definitely be wearing it on my first night out. Clothes to me are like armour, they make me feel strong and powerful when I wear them and red to me is power.”

Sasha, 23

“I find the more I seek out colours in my artwork, the more I wear them, whether I’m aware of it or not. Most of my clothes are secondhand: 90% of my jackets were my dad’s, same for my jeans. I wear a lot of my mother’s old clothes, she wears a lot of mine, things get circulated around our family. I’m staying at my aunt’s at the moment, she’s a powerhouse and incredibly well dressed. I come from a lineage of women who appreciate personal style. Pockets are important, as I carry around a lot of the flotsam and jetsam I find while I’m walking or running along the beach. I would never dress for another person, it feels deeply wrong to me. I would question reducing any experience at the moment to something positive or negative, but lockdown has reconfirmed my values. It’s pulled me up on my own social inadequacies: I am more wary than ever of virtue signalling, for example. My radio show GIANT LOVER has never been more focused on creating a space of hope and joy, and I am obsessing over the lyrics and melody of every song. Overall it’s shone yet another spotlight on how ravaged our state has become. I want to know what we as a society are going to do with this information.

I hate sitting still so I like to wear clothes I can move in. My mum taught me from a young age to trust cotton so I always look at the blend mix when I’m shopping. This shirt was a gift from her last year to celebrate my photos being selected for UNSIGNED 2019. The dress is a present to myself for getting through a complex period of my life when I didn’t give myself much time to rest, it’s a dress I plan to spend a lot of time dancing in. My sister always wore hoops growing up and I can’t think of anything better than a girl in hoop earrings, they symbolise everything I love about being a woman. This pair is from my favourite stall in the Lanes in Brighton. My bracelet is one of four: my sister and two of my cousins have the same one, it connects us to one another and reminds me of how fortunate I am to have them. I have long legs and when lockdown is lifted I plan to use them to run into the arms of everyone I love so I need to be wearing my trainers – god knows where they will take me when this is done.”

Amy, 30

“I very much just enjoy dressing up for myself, I don’t really care much about what people think or if an item goes or if it’s ‘fashionable’. I just love clothes and wearing whatever makes me feel happy. Not much has changed in lockdown to be honest, I’m still trying to make sure I get dressed up a bit in the morning to keep a routine. The only difference is I have actively tried to avoid jeans. Lockdown has been a time to reflect. Being fortunate enough to have time to think about the big life things as well as the small. Also being able to watch Star Wars chronologically, bingeing HBO’s Oz and cracking on with the gardening have been some more frivolous positives. 

The dress I’m wearing is by Junya Watanabe Comme des Garçons and was probably the Depop find of the century. I predominantly wear vintage and secondhand clothing so absolutely love to find pieces such as this, it’s a blood sport for me. It’s an item that makes me feel so good, however it’s a total nightmare to get into – it took about half an hour to figure it out when I received it! The grandpa shirt is vintage and I’ve had it for years, it gets better and softer with age; it’s such lovely cotton. I very much like to wear vintage and secondhand clothes in a contemporary way that acknowledges more current trends – it doesn’t have to look like it’s dead people’s clothes. The sandals are a collaboration between Japanese labels, Suicoke and Needles, I got them the other day as a treat to myself. I love Suicoke sandals as they are such great quality and so comfy, so I know I’ll wear these for years to come.”

Fez, 22

“I try and shop mainly secondhand as I feel it’s the best way for me to shop sustainably. I’m trying to stop shopping fast fashion. I love charity shops and eBay, that’s probably where I get most of my clothes. My style is mainly influenced by Bratz dolls and the Spice Girls! I’ve felt really weird about ordering clothes during lockdown because I don’t want to put people at risk just to get clothes. I refuse to order from big brands, particularly while there’s been so much controversy surrounding them not paying garment workers because of COVID-19. They need to #PAYUP. One positive of lockdown has been rewatching every single episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race.

I’m wearing a Jane Norman dress I got on eBay just before lockdown. It’s fire. I don’t know where I would wear it but I just love everything about it. I am one of those people who shaved their head during isolation so I’m still trying to get used to it but this dress with my shaved head is special. Secondhand clothes are the way forward – I got this for £7!”

Faith-Rowan, 26

“I make my own clothes. I love colours, frills and vintage. I think I’m a lazy dresser at heart so I’ve been making easy clothes that make you look like you’ve made an effort when it really just took you five minutes to get ready! Since lockdown, I have had a lot of time for designing and making my own clothes again. Most days you’ll find me wearing my PJs in my home studio, designing and making clothes, then prancing around in them once they are done. Last year I was cofounder and creative director at Lara Intimates but that all came to an abrupt end last September and I found myself living back in Brighton. I felt a massive loss – it was an emotional time for me and therefore my creativity just stopped. However since lockdown I have had it coming back in droves, which has given me a massive drive to start my own company again and for that I’m really grateful. 

When lockdown lifts, I’ll be wearing this pink and cream gingham two-piece. It’s been something that I’ve wanted to design for months and months and it has finally come into life. I am using the most beautiful European linen that genuinely makes me so happy. I’m choosing this outfit because for me it’s my new beginning, my fresh start, my next chapter.”

Flossie, 23

“My approach to dressing is straightforward! I’m an outfit repeater so getting dressed is a pretty easy task as I only own a few items in my wardrobe. I keep it small because dressing and shopping equals lots of decisions and I’m not great at making clothing-related decisions, especially if it’s first thing in the morning. I’ve been roaming round my flat in pants and a tank top for the whole of lockdown. Sometimes I think I want a huge, diverse wardrobe so I can change up my persona on a whim depending on my mood but at the same time I feel like pants and a white vest is all the persona variation I need. It’s a bad bitch outfit, it’s also a sad bitch outfit, and all the moods in between. Come to think of it I don’t think I’ve ever caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror in lockdown and thought, This outfit doesn’t match my mood.

Pastels for spring? Groundbreaking. I threw on this outfit about five minutes ago and quite honestly didn’t think about it too much. I’d say the way I put this together was like a magpie in a pawnbroker’s, I chose the items I gravitated towards first. The shirt is from Zara and despite it having cats on it I’m definitely more of a dog person. Underneath I’m wearing a linen dress from Avoca Anthology. I overheat easily in warm weather so I pretty much live in this dress over spring and summer. My banana earrings were a gift from a dear friend, handmade by the very talented jeweller Sophie Morgan. The cowboy boots? I impulsively bought them a couple of years ago on eBay for £20. I haven’t worn them much but twenty quid to realise my Hannah Montana Tennessee fantasy? Worth it.”

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

We Photographed 15 People In The Outfit They’ll Wear When Lockdown Lifts published first on https://mariakistler.tumblr.com/