#this is canonically in john's wallet

[strangefable]

Look at this gorgeous portrait of Micah that @socially-awkward-skeleton gave me. 🥺😍🥺😍🥺😍 Look at my deputy, look how perfectly Skelly captured her. I am in awe, I love it so so so much <3 <3 <3 Thank you so much, Skelly, it's amazing!

[hartteart]

4ND L1ST3N TO YOU BL33D WH1L3 1 SM3LL YOU D13

[potato-lord-but-not]

PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE

John eating just the toppings+cheese off pizza it’s cannon Harlan said it on a stream (shh idc if that’s not cannon) and Arthur just. Standing there. Wallet on the counter. Bc John stole it to order pizza. Even tho they rarely eat pizza bc of how John eats it.

I’m on my hands and knees here.

:)

the most cursed canon John fact I love him so much

[thewertsearch]

Ask Comp 29/05

Anonymous asked: Having the car available as an alchemy ingredient now, what should John make first? ~DJ

John has unlocked the ability to fly, but I don't think he's as fast as he was with the jetpack. I think his best option is to merge it with Dad's automobile to create the Jetson Car.

Anonymous asked: the actor who played rufio in hook did his own homestuck liveblog back in the day. when he got to this part he was Somewhat Perturbed. @morganwick asked: Fun fact: around the end of Act 5, Dante Basco, who played Rufio in Hook, started a Tumblr and was immediately besieged by Homestucks pushing him to read the comic. So he started liveblogging it. Take a guess which scene everyone, including Hussie, was waiting for him to get to more than any other.

I can't believe I'm competing with Zuko himself on the Homestuck Liveblogging stage. How the hell can I measure up to that?

@wickedsick asked: The best part about the Wallet is that it's a physical object: you can give it to other people, send it across the tubes, and even store it inside another modus!

It really is a shockingly useful and versatile modus.

With this, his absurd physical stats, and his obvious determination, I feel like Dad would be an exceptionally talented Player.

@manorinthewoods submitted: >John is an immortal God >Still applies seatbelt, because safety is important ~LOSS (24/5/24) Anonymous asked: Obviously there is some deep, hidden classpect meaning to the sudden Seatbelt PSA!

Seatbelts are in cars.

Cars run on gas.

You expel gas when you breathe.

John is the Heir of Breath.

Checkmate, Scratch!

@marinerofthestars asked: Now that you’ve learned what Gamzee’s like sober, do you still reckon he’d be useless or actively detrimental as the Cavalier of Necromancer!Jade?

Oh, good point. A more focused Gamzee could certainly be a dangerous cavalier, especially if he shares the STRENGTH enjoyed by other highbloods. However, that presupposes that he's loyal to Jade, and the current incarnation of Gamzee isn't loyal to anyone.

Initially, I assumed that Gamzee would direct his violence primarily towards lowbloods - but said he was going to kill everyone, aristocrats included. Jade's status as Reverend Daughter wouldn't protect her here.

Besides, even if he was subservient to Jade, I don't think he'd be very reliable. Sure, he's probably better in a fight, but I don't think he'd be particularly useful when they're trying to complete their actual objective - namely, the Lyctor labs. Could you imagine Jade trying to pilot him in Imaging and Response?

At best, Frenzied Gamzee is a decent siphoning target - but that won't be much help either. In the original question, I gave the Houses their canon specialties, and the Ninth aren't siphoners.

In short, a sufficiently loyal Gamzee would be more useful in this state, but not a lot more.

@morganwick asked: So, you still think rendering Gamzee's text in all-lowercase makes him come off as a "chill guy" with a "Californian surfer dude accent"?

Forgot about that, haha. I think the contrast here is in what, exactly, Gamzee is saying in lowercase.

Lowercase Soporified Gamzee does sound like a surfer dude, because he's saying surfer dude things.

Lowercase Frenzied Gamzee, however, sounds like the Joker talking about his scars.

@morganwick asked: This is the part I was worried about your lax spoiler policy ruining things. When you opened the doors for people to offer up title suggestions for you that hadn't appeared in the comic yet Rage was one of the first aspects you got. At some point, if you'd bothered to keep track, Gamzee would have been the one aspect-less troll, and Rage would have stood out as the one non-joke troll-less aspect you knew about. So my concern was that if you started thinking about what it would mean for Gamzee to have Rage as his aspect, it might lessen the shock of seeing him now. A bit overly paranoid? Maybe, especially since Eridan being called the Prince of Hope came after Gamzee's "BlAsPhEmY" moment so more likely you'd have just connected it to the latter if anything, but we've seen some pretty perceptive bloggers in our time so this is to give some insight into the mindset behind a stricter spoiler policy.

It could definitely have been a problem - especially if I'd taken the time to enumerate the Aspects in detail. According to Cat, there were several asks requesting that I do so, which she filtered out in order to obfuscate Rage a little. Good choice, I think. If someone had called attention to it, I'm sure I'd have noticed that it was probably Gamzee's Aspect.

I still think the fun I was having with Aspect guesses was worth the risk, but I also see where you're coming from. Luckily, it never actually came up, so no harm was done.

@bladekindeyewear asked: VAGUE EXTERNAL MEDIA CLASSPECTING: According to certain theoretical fan frameworks, The Joker is a picture-perfect example of a Bard of Rage even across his incredibly wide variety of iterations, and Batman happens to be a good example of a Knight of Rage.

All Bards of Rage must be clowns, no exceptions.

Actually, Gamzee has both Joker and Two-Face vibes, doesn't he? He essentially has two separate quirks now, and he's also insisting that he's 'both' of his Mirthful Messiahs. Sollux is gonna sue someone.

Anonymous asked: So if going God Tier is merging the conscience of the real self into the dream self, what happens when a real self is prototyped with something else? Does Aradia still have some frog in her?

I certainly hope she does, but we haven't seen any yet.

As you pointed out, this is technically Aradia's dream self, which was never merged with the Frogsprite. It's possible that some internal 'froggy' traits were carried over from her realself when she ascended, but it's impossible to say for sure. We still don't know how this alternate form of ascension actually works.

@tacticaltaxonomist asked: im not rereading myself atm but i love following along your posts as you do, thank you for sharing! Anonymous asked: it makes me really happy to see new readers and I hope u have a good time :D

Thank you kindly!

I'm happy to be back and in the swing of things, and I'm even happier that I've been able to maintain a decent pace so far.

@krixwell asked: For what it's worth, Jack did "spare" PM when she proved she had the guts to actually go and actually get him the white king and queen's crowns, even though he had every reason to kill her. She was a Prospitian, had visibly just killed one of Jack's best men, had gotten the seemingly useless physical crowns rather than carrying out the murders they were supposed to represent (Jack likely knew this, since HB saw her get the king's crown), and was demanding one of Jack's most powerful weapons in exchange – Jack had nothing to gain from leaving her alive, and a fair bit to lose by honoring a deal that he used to half-heartedly offer to basically anyone who visited his office. As Hussie put it in recap 2, pages later but not many, "[Jack] came, and [PM?] traded the two white crowns for the green box, Jade's present to John. He appeared pleased to uphold the bargain, either out of the misunderstanding that he was still under control of its contents, or out of respect for PM?'s tenacity and brutality in pursuing the prize. Only he knows." Around the same time, WV was also left as the sole survivor of Jack's massacre on the Battlefield. WV was standing front and center of his rebel army, mere meters away when Jack killed the Black King, so it wouldn't just be that Jack missed him. (Recap 2: "Jack then killed the entire rebellion army, sparing only WV?. Perhaps to leave a survivor to tell the story, or perhaps out of respect for a fellow mutineer. Only he knows.") Before he got so powerful, there's also the time he released Dad Egbert from Dersite imprisonment, after the latter destroyed his jester hat. So yes, Jack has been known to spare people, at least pre-Becsprite… but only he knows why, and Eridan wouldn't have had access to any of these moments through the Trollian viewport.

The droll is beckoned. The bargain, honored.

That's a good point. Jack does appear to have a sense of honor, and I do genuinely think that these gestures were motivated by respect.

Eridan, though, he'd have zero respect for. I guarantee it.

@burntheupholstery asked: homestuck filtered through your comments is so much funnier for me because - and get this - i don't understand even a BIT of computer science

Give it a few more Acts, and I'll get you up to speed. >:)

@ipunchvampires asked: Minor gripe, but it's a bit annoying to me that the "Alterniabound" walkarounds have an obviously-developer-intended order of operations, but make no effort to signal this to the first-time reader. Like the dialogue in "Past Karkat: Wake up" is written such that going around the room counterclockwise with Karkat, then Vriska, then Terezi makes the most narrative sense, yet it's incredibly common for people to start clockwise, and when they get around to Terezi, Karkat acts like he's hearing about the humans for the first time even though he's heard about them from every other character in the meteor. @morganwick asked: There are, in fact, different conversations available if you talk to Kanaya and Feferi/Sollux as Karkat; it's just the items strewn around the lab that have the same flavor text. @helium--hydride asked: Did you check all of the interactions in this flash? You can be Karkat, and I think there was an interaction between Karkat and Sollux/Feferi that you missed.

So there is!

Not much to liveblog here, but it's good to know in the future that all combinations of conversational partners will, as a rule, yield new dialogue.

Anonymous asked: it’s a fun story and stuff but what are your thoughts on the music so far?? i mean we all know megalovania but do you have any fave tracks that stood out? top 5? the HS soundtrack is so unique imo (mine so far is explore remix - dave and jade made it together on freshjamz)

We've got a big enough library at this point that I probably can highlight some favorites. I think my top 5, in no particular order, are:

Sunslammer

The Beginning of Something Really Excellent

Savior of the Waking World

MeGaLoVania (Aradia version)

Descend

@elkian asked: "Oh, for the love of peace. Is there anyone that this globe-headed chucklefuck doesn’t have in his pocket?" - I don't know if you intended this pun about Cue Ball Head but I cackled

That one was on purpose. The guy's still an orb!

@abibeur asked: Honestly I was expecting your reaction to be like Prak from the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (see below) and I was not disappointed. “Tell us about it,” said Ford. “Oh, I can't remember any of it now,” said Prak. “I thought of writing some of it down, but first I couldn't find a pencil, and then I thought, why bother?” There was a long silence, during which they thought they could feel the Universe age a little. Prak stared into the torchlight. “None of it?” said Arthur at last. “You can remember none of it?” “No. Except most of the good bits were about frogs, I remember that.” Suddenly he was hooting with laughter again and stamping his feet on the ground. “You would not believe some of the things about frogs,” he gasped. “Come on let's go and find ourselves a frog. Boy, will I ever see them in a new light!” He leapt to his feet and did a tiny little dance. Then he stopped and took a long drag at his cigarette. “Let's find a frog I can laugh at,” he said simply. I can't believe Douglas Adams predicted Homestuck.

Can't believe Prak canonically learned about Sburb sessions when he overdosed on truth serum 😲

Anonymous asked: if bilious slick is the universe, then it stands to reason that the Vast Croak = the Big Bang

Or the Big Crunch, given that 'croaking' is a euphemism for dying...

@bladekindeyewear asked: AAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA WE WERE WAITING FOR YOU TO GET TO THIS REVEAL EVERYTHING YOU'VE SAID ABOUT FROGS HAS HAD US LAUGHING SO HARD!!! don't feel bad this hits every reader and liveblogger the same way and it's GREAT nobody guesses it, it's like we're laughing WITH you not at you i promise, and gosh even just YOUR LAST REMARK ABOUT THE DOOR DURING THE RECAP AHAHAHAHAHAHH Anonymous asked: /post/749478863076196352 "We finally get to learn the function of the House Door – and apparently, it leads directly into the newly created universe. Makes a lot of sense. This, of course, nixes my theory that it leads to Bilious Slick." reading that was the fucking TEXTBOOK DEFINITION of dramatic irony Anonymous asked: you: oh, the door leads to the new universe, not bilious slick like i theorized! kanaya: Bet

Oh, god, I didn't even think about that. The door does lead to Slick, just in a way that was completely impossible to predict. I'm giving myself partial credit for that one.

@sanctferum asked: after everything the troll's black queen went through as a result of her refusal to defile her being with frogness, it is incredibly ironic that she would be bestowed the universal load-bearing powers she was given by Scratch upon becoming Snowman - and in so doing, have her own life force directly tied to that of a Genesis Frog. And you just know Scratch was insufferably smug about it too

@galaxa-13 asked: When I first read Homestuck and there were mentions of ol' B. Slick or any frog I just glazed over it. Oh, OK, just another weird thing in this tapestry of weird. On following read throughs, when I knew the significance, I still just glazed over it. Yeah yeah, frog is the universe, moving on. So when you started questioning all the frogs I got giddy, because I knew that YOU'D have a bigger reaction than I ever did.

Yeah, I was so lost with those frogs. I definitely didn't suspect that the answer would be anything as monumental as this.

I sure fucking didn't, Kanaya.

@drakethedeep asked: Congratulations on reaching the genesis frog reveal! Now, what are your thoughts on the metaphysical implications that universes are living biological creatures?

It gels well with a theorypost I was sent before about how Sburb's timeline system may have evolved naturally over time. The idea that universes are biologically alive certainly lends credence to the idea that the entire reality of Homestuck is fundamentally organic. Maybe the entire multiverse is actually inside another, second-order cosmic animal...

(Because it's Hussie, that animal is probably a clown.)

Anonymous asked: about the Vast Croak: (from page 2308) “[Frogs] go by many names, and so does the reviled patron god they herald - THE GREAT DETESTATION, KING PONDSQUATTER, SPEAKER OF THE VAST JOKE, or most commonly, BILIOUS SLICK.”

I didn't consider that Vast Joke could just be a corruption of Croak.

If so, then I'm not sure why Aradia's referring to it as if it's an actual joke. Curious.

@mapswithoutwyoming asked: This is a bit of a weird message, but: I’ve been plotting a Homestuck fanfic, and I was getting confused about whether the lunar sways I’d assigned to the main characters made sense. I was so deep into orchestrating the interlocking and paradoxical web of events that changing it even a little would have had catastrophic ramifications, but I was starting to wonder if it wouldn’t make sense not to. But you referencing your theory about the dispositions made my earlier decisions click for me. thx

Happy to help! And when I'm out of spoiler territory for the fic, I'd love to read it.

@ben-guy asked: In regards to your joke about Jerma in the tags… man, just imagine him streaming Sburb. "W-what? No chat, I'm NOT going to- I'm not going to prototype myself. That's an atrocious idea. I don't even know what that means! Listen, it's just not happening. Okay. Okay, a million off the boon-debt" Just imagine… Jerma imps. They would be insufferable. Also, his server player gets to play Jerma's Dollhouse for real. TBH, the Dollhouse steam has some minor HS vibes already… Making me feel totally justified in sharing this classic HS meme with you

Look, we all know Jermasprite would happen.

Oh, man - and prototyping him turns all the Underlings into chat members, so that when Jack is watching his progress through the Fourth Wall, it also contains a live feed of Imps and Orges spamming 'next session'.

Anonymous asked: Hey, you're right, the trolls might not have gone through the brooding cavern trials, since they were delivered to the surface on meteors, not birthed in the caves. Which would mean that when Vriska talked about how she remembered her trials, she was just lying.

It's possible that the meteors were delivered directly into the caverns somehow, but that's definitely not certain.

Vriska's assertion is suspicious either way, though - would she really have memories from being a newborn grub? If the trolls could remember their infancy, then they'd already know they came from meteors.

@manorinthewoods asked: I was going to write something about Locked Home (HS chars in Canaan House) being in the wrecked troll session, but upon further inspection, I can't see an easy way to set that up without opening a few of WV's cans of worms. So, instead, here's a different question - since lighting the Forge would clear LOFAF's frost, would lighting Kanaya's Forge have cleared LORAF's rays? What would that even mean? ~LOSS (15/5/24)

I thought it could have receded her oceans, but you're right - the Forge's environmental changes might always be associated with its Land's named trait.

Maybe let's split the difference, and say that activating the Forge intensifies LORAF's rays, causing them to boil the oceans away.

@divineerdrick asked: Hello again! Just wanted to say how much I love your analysis of what Jade is going through with Jadesprite. In fact, it's a rare treat to see a first time reader dig into how Rose and Jade and the events around their Dream Selves affect them. But I especially want to congratulate you on again pointing out something I'd never really noticed, and that is how playful Kanaya is with the text in her conversations. It really is a great gag, and I never noticed how consistent it was.

Thank you! Yeah, a big part of why Kanaya is so great is that a lot of her gags are very understated. Half the time, you don't even read them as gags - they just scan as charming aspects of her personality.

@heliotropopause asked: "Actually, can anyone confirm at what point the fic will be safe to read?" It's been a while since I read it, and I haven't read the fragment of TSG act three that only exists on tumblr since I didn't know about it at the time, but I'm about 85% sure you'll be good to pick it up once you finish act five. The whole setting is built on lore from late act five, and while it references something from a ways into act six at least once, i don't think there's anything there that could rightfully be called a spoiler. (And when you're done with TSG, you can pick up Taz's husband's The Vienna Game, which is even better, though of course doesn't tie into TLT. It should be spoiler-free after page 4468.)

I've still got a while to wait, then - but not quite as long as I feared. Works for me!

@manorinthewoods asked: That image of Vriska demanding that WV not interfere is… really weirdly creepy, and I can't help but feel like I missed that whole sequence. I guess it might not have stuck with me because I didn't bother translating the Morse code - which I assume the Homestuck Collection can do for you, which is another reason why I should have used that. ~LOSS (11/5/24)

Yeah, my heart sank when I read that part.

I really thought Vriska was about to do something to hurt WV, which would have sent her careening down the tier list faster than you can say 'main character syndrome'.

@manorinthewoods asked: "Why, though? I had assumed that these stations were going to be used to restore civilization on this planet. How are they going to repair Earth with no access to technology? Surely they’re not going to start from scratch?" Bold of you to assume Earth will be repaired. ~LOSS (11/5/24)

Terezi seems to think it will - but clearly, the stations aren't involved.

Maybe the game thinks it'd be cheating, or that using Sburb tech to build civilizations would make them too advanced to be threatened by its meteors the next time around.

@necrowyrm asked: The only possible thing you can liveblog after homestuck is now The Earthbound Halloween Hack in order to experience the original megalovania in all it's glory

You are SO right. I'll also make a quick detour through Smash Ultimate, of course.

@adhd-coomer submitted:

LMAO, that literally is what that is, isn't it?

@captorations submitted:

my birthday cake from years ago (but not many... but not *not* many.) deadname nuked from orbit. my sister who got me into homestuck arranged it and maybe one day i will forgive her #for the cake or for getting me into homestuck? yes. #note: this is a joke i was/am amused by the former and very grateful for the latter

Yes, oh my god! That really is the perfect Karkat face for a cake.

I'm going to be brainstorming Homestuck meals for the rest of the week.

[lilacpaperbird]

If Supernatural had been set in Spain, baby would've been a Dodge 3700 gt

John would've been a former legionario (and he'd have the legion slogan "novio de la muerte" tattooed). Dean would've smoked since he was 15 (he would've rolled his own cigs of course) and he'd have an eyebrow piercing. Sam would've carried around a (stolen) copy of García Lorca's poetry and estampas de santos (pics of saints) hidden in his wallet

Also the religious themes and imagery would've been catholic, which means way more dramatic (and aesthetic). Mary as the Virgin Mary would've been a recurring parallel. Sam would've prayed the rosary for atonement or protection. The concept of penance would've pervaded everything.

There would've been more than one episode about Franco and the dictatorship (fun fact John would've been 21 when it ended wow). Also, knowing how Spanish tv works, we would've gotten many nude shots and sex scenes. Oh and several beach episodes (because Spain has lots of beaches but mainly because it's another excuse to show them semi-naked)

We would've gotten more gay characters since Spain was more accepting at the time (same sex marriage was legalized in 2005). And Sam and Dean's weird dynamic would've fit fine with other famous incestuous sibling couples of Spanish tv from the early 00s lmao (I can think of at least THREE beloved canon couples between step-siblings (not related by blood tho) from different shows of that time. Yeah crazy I know)

[rocksibblingsau]

Was rereading some slightly old asks and saw my "Jd reunites with C!Branch earlier than canon" one and got thinking how that scenario could go with the other Branches. One I really liked so far was with rock Branch.

If it took country Branch some time to forgive Jd and welcome him back into his life, it would take infinitilly longer for this Branch. Branch's doesn't really know what to make of Jd and their relationship for the longest time, especially with the fact that John never stays for long and leaves for the Neverglades after some half-hearted attempts at bonding (though, he does really appreciates the weird taxidermy and nature facts that Jd gives him).

Their slightly-getting-better-over-time relationship takes a nose dive for the worst when Thrash's mental state starts to significantly worsen, Branch lashes out at him way more and is a lot more hurt by him not staying around (he never actually says that part out loud tho). It takes him some time, but John eventually realizes the root of the problem and actually makes effort to be there for his estranged brother. John Dory even starts taking the role of a parental figure to him and that makes Branch's resentment worse for a little while, but he does realize that John is not really trying to take Thrash's place but trying to be there for him in a way that nobody else can in the moment (especially because anyone else that could, aka Barb, is also dealing with the same "grief" as him and can't HEALTHILY prioritize him and his emotions in the same way, even though she is trying).

After all of that is said and done, their relationship quickly improves in ways that it never had before. They genuinely talk about the past and why everything went down the way it did, finally becoming close again and spending some actual good time together when Jd comes to visit. Branch ofc never really sees Jd as his "dad figure", but having that type of presence in his life, when Thrash can't anymore, means way more to him than he will ever admit. If anybody asks, Branch says that he found Jd in a trashcan and felt too bad to get rid of him, so now he keeps him as his grumpy and old indoor-outdoor cat (John lets Branch call him that because it's better than being called a "creepy stranger that keeps following me around" everytime that they are seen together).

Bonus: Jd has one of those pictures of goth kids with their normie parents of him and Branch in his wallet, he shows it around to everyone like "he is my pride and joy, I love him very much". Branch is the same, but instead he has a very embarrassing picture of John and everytime he shows it to people, he says "This is my elderly dog, he has every decease and will die very soon. I love him."

I love this. JD isn't a step parent, he's the parent who stepped up.

He'd tried to be the same for Barb, kinda, but she growls at him when he stands too close to her.

The idea of JD being the normie dad next to goth/alt son genuinely made me laugh, as did 'my elderly dog with every disease known to man'.

I feel like JD would get along with Val's dad Drag.

[misscinnamonroll16]

Brozone diner au: the day John Dory took off part four

so there is gonna be some cliva and broppy in the one, idk if its canon in @bzjohndory au but this is my fanfic 😎

After putting on shoes and socks JD went to go put on his signature goggles on but grimaced at how dirty they were. John cleaned them up in his bathroom before putting them on, they had caked on grease and dirt on them. John Dory grabbed his wallet and keys, making sure he had plenty of money in his wallet for his groceries. John walked into the grocery store, a little weirded out to see so many people out shopping. Then he remembered that he usually shopped late at night when most people are already home. JD got his groceries, making sure to stock up a little extra because he didn't know when he would go grocery shopping next. Getting home, John made himself a decent breakfast of scrambled eggs, bacon, and pancakes. John tried to sit down to eat but he felt fidgety so he stood up and ate that way. After eating, John Dory noticed how dirty his space was. JD began cleaning, wiping down all the surfaces, vacuuming, sweeping and mopping. After tidying his living room/kitchen/ dining room, John walked into his room, continuing his clean spree. Making his bed, vacuuming, wiping things down and starting his laundry. After starting the washer, John cleaned his bathroom, scrubbing it all clean. After John Dory cleaned the entire inside of his campervan and folding his laundry and putting it away, JD looked at his watch, shocked to see it was only noon.  “Well what do I do now?" John asked himself. John thought for a moment about going into the diner but remembered his brothers told him to say away, but who were they to tell him what to do? John decided against it, he'd find something else to do. John Dory decided to take a walk, maybe he'd find something to do. After a small lunch rush and getting all the produce put away, Branch and Floyd were cleaning up when Poppy and Viva walked in. Despite the fact that the  two of them were dating two of the staff, the sisters politely waited to be sat. Branch came up to them and bowed jokingly. “Right this way your majesties." Branch teased as he lead them to their usual table, the girls giggling before sitting down. Branch smiles, looking at Poppy fondly. The couple stared into each other's eyes for a moment before Viva interrupted. " Sorry to interrupt your moment but I'm starving.” Viva teased, Poppy and Branch blushing. Branch got their drink order, giving them a minute to look over the menu, knowing they're indecisive. Branch brought them their drinks, giving them a few more minutes to decide. After ordering, Poppy noticed something. “Hey where's John Dory?" She asked after handing Branch their menus, not hearing or seeing him. “Oh, he's not here." Branch replied, going to turn around. " He's in the back?” Viva asked, JD usually didn't work on the grill line. " Oh no, he's off today.” Branch said, turning back around partway. " Geez, I don't think I've ever been here on John's day.” Poppy joked, Viva laughing along with her. “That's because this is his first day off in a long time." Branch said as he walked backwards away from them. The girls sat, dumbfounded, shocked that it was his first day off in God knows how long. Branch went back on the server line, yelling through the window to Clay that his girlfriend was here. Clay was facing away from Branch but his ears got red, cue Floyd and Bruce teasing him as well. Clay finished up what he was doing before going out to Viva’s table. Clay pulled up a chair, turning it backwards before sitting in it. “What's up Veevs?" Clay asked. “Oh, you know, just getting some food from my favorite diner." Viva responded. The conversation continued, Poppy and Branch joining in, before the topic turned back to JD. “So if John Dory never takes days off, why did he take today off?" Poppy asked as Floyd delivered their food. “Thanks Floyd. We kinda had to twist his arm to get him to do it." Branch said, scratching the back of his head sheepishly. “How?" Viva asked before taking a bit of her burger.

[windypuddle]

sometimes i remember about post-canon terezi carrying johns body around in her wallet so she can prototype him and get him back someday in dirk and rose's session they're orchestrating and i feel so miserable and emotional

[powerpolyculeshowdown]

hi @leverage-ot3 here again

this isn’t even necessarily leverage ot3 propaganda, just leverage propaganda!!!

are you a sad/angry/annoyed at capitalism zillenial or just someone done with the world and it’s problems??? LEVERAGE WILL BE YOUR ULTIMATE COMFORT SHOW

like yes it has a word of god canon ot3 (which may not seem like much, but it happened in 2012 when gay marriage wasn’t even legal in the US where it aired yet so poly rights were extra not a thing) (below: the ot3 in 2021 looking extra fine and poly we love to see it)

but it also spends five seasons plus a reboot eating the rich and powerful for 45 minutes an episode

also this has THEE fastest found family speedrun you’ll ever see in your life!!! literally a dynamic I would kill for!

also the writers worked with real career criminals to get the cons and thievery right, and they were so good at what they did that the writers got reported to homeland security/fbi/etc multiple times because they found real loopholes in the system that would have inspired real crime so they had to write the episodes differently to deter that (literal goals???) definitely look into john rogers (one of the main writers) on twitter he is thee most chaotic and angry at capitalism people on that website

the team also gloats at the bad guys at the end of every episode for maximum greatness and it is wonderful to watch them feel smug and satisfied that evil people are going to jail (below is from the inside job- s3- and they are serving looks as usual)

also ALSO parker the thief (canon best thief in the world) and part of the ot3 is canon autistic and is treated by the writers with love, care, and grace! she’s perceived as super weird a lot of the time but her family and her boys love her for it and support her through her journey and love her for who she is 💖 don’t let her near you or she’ll steal ur wallet tho

anyways watch leverage for them (the ot3) but also them (the found family of your dreams) but also them (eating the rich for fun)

she can steal my wallet i dont mind *twirls hair*

[umbraticstickerz]

Two drawings for the Swap AU of Ross and Jaune.(these two aren't edits, they're just referenced from images shown of John and his Daughter to clarify.)

I will honestly probably forever be happy with how these came out, and then immediately cry because Ross being in John's daughters place means he's dead, at least in the au its canon he's 6 ft under till there's clarification as to what happened to John's daughter(though I'm pretty sure she's dead and thats also why I specifically named her Mors in this au since its Latin for Death/Mortality.)

Anyway have them being happy lmao. These were originally for a video with the song take my wallet though I only ever posted it to Tiktok as it just felt off posting it anywhere else though I didn't spend a f ton of time on the art for nothing so yeah gonna at least share that.

[can-of-pringles]

Playing With Fire - Chapter 1

Rating: Teen and up audiences

Warnings: Canon typical violence, drinking, fighting, it's literally the movie.

Word Count: 2k

Summary: Peter and the gang make it to Knowhere.

Note: This is a GOTG AU with my original character. I've been sitting on this fic wip for months and now the first rewritten movie is finished. I hope y'all enjoy and like my gotg oc. The first movie is completely written but I'll be posting it in chapters.

Also Read on AO3

Carina finished wiping down one of the numerous glass cages, shooting a sympathetic glance at the red-headed girl stuck inside. The girl gave her a similar look back, placing her gloved hand up on the glass for a second.

The redhead lowered her hand, watching as Carina moved on with her task. She leaned her head against the glass, sighing and closing her eyes for a brief moment before she continued people-watching. It wasn’t as if there was anything else she could do.

Carina continued with cleaning. She held a sponge up to another glass cage, pausing cleaning for a moment. She immediately bowed her head when she heard The Collector say her name.

“Yes, Master,” she spoke timidly.

“Your people have elbows, do they not?” He approached her.

She glanced down at her arms for a second, raising an eyebrow in confusion. “We do, Master.”

“Then use them.”

She looked up at him, trying to hide her fear.

“I don’t have to remind you what happened to the last attendant who disappointed me. Do I?” His tone was cold.

She held back a gasp and glanced away, looking at the poor Krylorian girl locked in a cage. She was hooked up to dangerous electrical wires; blatant fear in her eyes. Carina’s heart ached for her, but there wasn’t anything she could do.

“Chop, chop. Our guests will be here soon,” he added.

Carina remembered the sponge in her hand and went back to cleaning, furiously scrubbing the cage as if her life depended on it; in this case, that wasn’t hard to imagine.

The redhead nearby perked up at the mention of guests. All kinds of people came to visit semi-regularly, but by The Collector’s growing impatience, it sounded different this time. Perhaps some sort of special business deal?

---

Peter fiddled with his gun, practicing aiming it before the meeting with The Collector.

“Heads up! We’re inbound.” Rocket announced.

Peter placed his gun down and climbed up the ship’s ladder. He looked out of the ship’s main window. Groot sat in the co-pilot’s seat while Rocket focused on piloting. Gamora and Drax stood nearby.

“Whoa.” He exclaimed, seeing how big The Collector’s museum was out in space.

“What is it?” Drax asked.

“It’s called Knowhere. The severed head of an ancient celestial being,” Gamora explained. “Be wary-headed in, rodent.” She looked at Rocket before sitting down. “There are no regulations whatsoever here.”

They flew inside through its eye socket, being careful to fly past the multiple caverns, structures, and all the mining machines. Once they found a place to land, they parked the Milano and got out.

“Hundreds of years ago, the Tivan Group sent workers in to mine the organic matter within the skull. Bone, brain tissue, spinal fluid. All rare resources, highly valued in black markets across the galaxy. It’s dangerous and illegal work, suitable only for outlaws,” she spoke as they walked in, trying to blend in with the local crowds.

“Well, I come from a planet of outlaws. Billy the Kid, Bonnie and Clyde, John Stamos,” Peter rattled off.

“It sounds like a place, which I would like to visit,” Drax commented.

“Yeah, you should.”

A group of kids were running nearby when they saw them, suddenly stopping in front of them.

“Excuse me,” one kid said.

“Watch your wallets.” Peter reminded them.

“Can you spare any units?” Another kid asked.

While the rest of the kids were begging for money, one girl stopped in front of Groot; smiling. She watched curiously as he reached his hand out and started growing a flower in the palm of his hand. Once he was finished, he plucked it and handed it to her. She kindly accepted it and smiled as she looked down at the blossom.

Groot smiled as well and continued with the group as they walked to their destination.

“Your buyer’s in there?” Rocket looked up at Gamora and gestured to the bar in the distance with a tilt of his head.

“We are to wait here for his representative.”

Crowds of people stood outside, waiting to get in. The bouncer at the front roughly threw someone out, letting him fall to the ground.

“This is no respectable establishment. What do you expect us to do while we wait?” Drax complained, not catching on.

---

The music boomed while everyone inside partied and had a blast. Drax and Rocket cheered as they watched the game on the table while surrounded by the other gamblers; betting on F’saki and Orloni. They watched as one of the Orloni got devoured by a bigger F’saki. Groot didn’t hide his shock. The smile he had turned into a frown.

“Yahoo!” Rocket cheered, holding a dark blue drink in one paw.

Another Orloni ran across the table, trying to escape from being captured. He ultimately lost, getting snatched up and eaten by a F’saki.

“My Orloni has won, as I won at all things!” Drax shouted.

The F’saki looked around the cheering crowd, enjoying all the attention it was receiving.

Drax raised his drink. “Now, let’s put more of this liquid into our bodies.”

Rocket looked at him and raised his glass as well. “That’s the first thing you said that wasn’t bat-shit crazy!”

Outside of the bar, Gamora stood at the railing of a balcony, looking out into space. She turned her head to the sound of Peter’s voice.

“Man, you wouldn’t believe what they charge for fuel out here. I might actually lose money on this job,” Peter spoke, moving to stand next to her.

“My connection is making us wait,” she responded, frankly sounding tired of the whole thing. She absentmindedly polished her blade.

“It’s just a negotiation tactic. Trust me, this is my specialty.” He leaned against the railing, looking at her. “Where yours is more, ‘stab, stab. Those are my terms.’” He deadpanned.

She scoffed lightly and smiled a bit, glancing at him for a moment before looking away. Her smile faded. “My father didn’t stress diplomacy.”

“Thanos?”

She looked at him again, mildly glaring. “He’s not my father.”

He stayed silent, briefly glancing down before looking at her again.

“When Thanos took my home world, he killed my parents in front of me. He tortured me, turned me into a weapon,” Gamora admitted.

Peter blinked a couple of times, trying to hide his initial shock.

“When he said he was going to destroy an entire planet for Ronan, I couldn’t stand by and…” She trailed off, instead noticing his Walkman.

“Why would you risk your life for this?” She gently grabbed it off his belt, pressing a button on it. It started playing a song.

“My mother gave it to me,” he answered.

She looked up at him.

“My mom liked sharing with me all the pop songs that she loved growing up. I happened to have it on me, when I was… the day that she…” He went silent, trying to steady his voice. “You know, when I left Earth.” He ignored the burn he felt in his throat, getting teary-eyed. He gently took it back from her, clipping it to his belt again.

“What do you do with it?” She asked.

“Do? Nothing. You listen to it. Or you can dance.”

“I’m a warrior and an assassin. I do not dance.” She stated matter-of-factly.

He gave her a look. She ignored it and turned to look back out into space.

“Really? Well, on my planet, there’s a legend about people like you. It’s called Footloose. And in it, a great hero named Kevin Bacon teaches an entire city full of people with sticks up their butts that dancing, well… it’s the greatest thing there is.” He slightly lectured.

“Who put the sticks up their butts?” She asked.

“What? No, that’s just a—”

“That is cruel.” She didn’t hide her disdain.

“It’s just a phrase people use,” he explained.

She still furrowed her brows in confusion. Peter took off his headphones and carefully placed them on her head. She took it in for a moment, listening to the music.

“The melody is pleasant!” She raised her voice.

He jumped a little in surprise, but nodded, quickly regaining his composure. He looked into her eyes, slowly reaching his hand out to hers. She hesitantly accepted it. They stood inches apart. He slowly leaned in to kiss her before she quickly pulled her knife out against his throat, shouting, no.

“Ow! What the hell?” He exclaimed, feeling the sharpness of the blade she held against his neck.

“I know who you are, Peter Quill! And I am not some starry-eyed waif here to succumb to your… your pelvic sorcery!” She told him off.

“That is not what’s happening here.” He choked the words out. The blade was dangerously close to cutting him.

She decided to release him. Peter heard loud shouting coming from the bar. He turned and in the distance saw a fight between Drax and Groot.

“Oh, no.” He groaned in annoyance and headed inside toward the fight.

Drax pinned Groot to the ground, repeatedly punching him in the face. The surrounding crowd shouted and cheered Drax on. Groot grew out his vines and wrapped them around Drax, trying to choke him. He yelled and managed to pull off the vines, breaking them. Rocket aimed his gun at Drax, prepared to shoot him.

Gamora stepped in and pulled Drax off of Groot. “Stop it!”

Rocket ignored her, still ready to shoot. Peter rushed in and stepped in front of Rocket, blocking him.

“Whoa, whoa, what are you doing?!” He exclaimed.

“This vermin speaks of affairs he knows nothing about!” Drax argued. Gamora still held him back.

“That is true!” Rocket admitted, not having any shame.

“He has no respect!” Drax continued.

“That is also true!”

“Hold on! Hold on!” Peter held his hand out, trying to stop the fight from escalating.

Groot finally recovered and stood up, fixing his jaw.

“Keep calling me vermin, tough guy! You just wanna laugh at me like everyone else!” Rocket accused.

“Rocket, you’re drunk. All right? No one’s laughing at you.” Peter tried to calm him down.

“He thinks I’m some stupid thing! He does!” Rocket continued. “Well, I didn’t ask to get made!”

Everyone stared at him, speechless.

“I didn’t ask to be torn apart, and put back together over and over and turned into some…” He took a breath, sounding like he was on the verge of tears. “Some little monster!”

“Rocket, no one is calling you a monster,” Peter spoke.

“He called me ‘vermin’!” He pointed at Drax.

Drax glared at him while Gamora still held him back.

“She called me ‘rodent’!”

Gamora turned her head and looked at him.

Rocket gritted his teeth, and his eyes watered. “Let’s see if you can laugh after five or six good shots to your frickin’ face!” He readied his gun again, aiming at them.

Drax tried to break free of Gamora’s grasp. Peter jumped in to stand in front of Rocket, attempting to get him to stop.

“No, no, no, no! Four billion units! Rocket! Come on, man! Hey!” He stammered.

Rocket bared his teeth, showing his sharp canines.

“Suck it up for one more lousy night and you’re rich.”

Rocket took a while to think it over. He lowered his gun and glanced down, still contemplating. Everyone watched with bated breath. Groot looked away, visibly upset. Rocket furrowed his brows and powered down the gun.

“Fine. But I can’t promise, when all this is over I’m not gonna kill every last one of you jerks,” he said, resigned.

“See? That’s exactly why none of you have any friends!” Peter gestured to all of them. “Five seconds after you meet somebody, you’re already trying to kill them!”

“We have traveled halfway across the quadrant. And Ronan is no closer to being dead.” Drax turned and walked away.

“Drax!”

“Let him go.” Gamora watched him leave. “We don’t need him.”

They all turned their heads when they heard the sound of a door opening. Inside stood Carina. “Milady Gamora, I’m here to fetch you for my master.” She bowed and gestured toward the door.

[ishomieokay]

Masks We Wear (Chapter 3)

Teen and Up. 2.4k, suicide attempt, canon-typical violence, ptsd, mental health issues, murder, description of a corpse, morally grey!john, unethical experimentation, child abuse, nudity, kidnapping, threats of violence. part 3/44. AO3 link. part 1, 2.

Right before turning eighteen, John Vogelbaum escapes the clutches of Vought. Always under the radar, he manages to live as a regular Joe for the next couple of years. Until one day, trouble comes knocking at his door in the shape of Grace Mallory. What does the CIA want to do with him, anyway?

Or, the one where Homelander is never born. A traumatized, socially-awkward John wanders through life trying to work out what to do with himself, and somehow becomes a member of The Boys.

Taglist: @discowizard88 Let me know if you want to be tagged!

He’d been performing a flight test, when the idea occurred to him. As he reached the stratosphere for the very first time, wind blowing hollowly around him and with the taste of ozone tingling on his lips, John thought wildly, what if I die? When the answer came to him, he found himself flying forward, way past the point required to finish the test. Although it was barely noon, he could see the sky around him turn increasingly darker.

Up ahead there were stars flickering, and even further, John got a glimpse of the sun. He wondered whether he’d actually made it so far up, or if he could attribute the vision to lack of oxygen. Oddly enough, the possibility of his untimely demise didn’t concern him much. Instead, he was picturing the research group down below, running around like headless chickens as they tried to figure out why their subject’s ascent wouldn’t stop the way they planned. 

See what you’ve done? This is what you’ve forced me into, John thought, vindictively, and he could see Jonah Vogelbaum in his mind’s eye, screaming and pulling violently at the little hair he had left once he found out that the results of his eighteen-year experiment had literally been flown into the sun. And wasn’t it sad that he valued his own life so little that he was willing to end it just to spite his creator?

John kept moving forward, undeterred. His lungs were burning. The air was compressing around him, increasingly heating up the higher he got. His protective gear, a skin tight suit made out of spandex and leather, was beginning to disintegrate. His whole body itched. He risked a glimpse down and halted to a stop almost without realizing. 

Everything was quiet. Earth receded below him as he drifted in orbit, and John felt nauseous and faint. He’d gone too long without air. As resilient as he was, he still needed to breathe in order to survive. The rush of adrenaline that allowed him to power through this journey that would have annihilated any other creature was fading, taking its toll now that he’d allowed himself a rest. Quite some time had passed before John realized that he was falling. 

It all came to him in fragments. He wasn’t falling anymore. There was a deep itch spreading throughout his body. He felt impossibly cold, and yet the slightest movement left a scorching feeling on his skin. Something moist and rough dragged across his cheek, finally pulling him out of his slumber. John opened his eyes and found a German Shepard staring intently at him. It had just licked him. 

“Get off me, you dirty mutt!” He shouted, swatting at it as he sat up. The dog yelped and backed away, lowering its ears. John rubbed violently at the foul smelling drool covering his face. He looked around, and realized he’d landed on someone’s barn. They would probably try to get a few bucks out of him, what with the man shaped-hole he’d left on the ceiling. 

Uh, not if I’m gone before they get here, John thought stubbornly. It’s not like he brought a wallet along for the launch. He didn’t own one, as a matter of fact. His legs were still wobbly, though, and as soon as he tried to stand he fell face first into a pile of hay. John groaned. His vision was blurry, and there was an incessant buzzing in his head. He felt raw and sort of deflated, like a football that had seen one too many world series. 

Right, so, not dead, he thought with a hint of derision, now what?

He imagined Vogelbaum would be unspeakably pleased if he ever found out that one of his subjects had managed to survive free falling to Earth from outer space. Vought's billion-dollar investment in his pet project had certainly paid off. John was so utterly indestructible, he couldn't even kill himself if he tried. 

There were indeed repercussions to his ludicrous attempt, though. The pain he was experiencing was so overwhelming it was hard to focus. He wondered briefly if he had suffered internal damage, but a quick glimpse at his body through his X-Ray vision was enough to rule out that possibility. There would probably be bruising, though. At last, he stood up. Regaining the ability to walk was a relief, although faint and short-lived. As soon as John crossed the doors of the barn, he was greeted by the panic-stricken face of an old man and the end of a shotgun barrel. 

“I don’t want no trouble, okay?” He said in a thin voice. “Not with a Supe. Just leave now and I promise not to call the sheriff.”  

John blinked, tilting his head to the side. The words took a minute to register due to the buzzing in his head. Once they did, he realized that he was the cause of the old man’s fear, although he didn’t think he’d done anything to warrant such a reaction. Besides existing in his general vicinity, that is. Wherever he was, he guessed coming across a Supe was something of a novelty, and perhaps not the type to be glad for. 

“Easy, partner. What’s got you so jumpy, uh?” John said, offering the stranger what he hoped was a reassuring smile. “It’s all fine, I’m not here to cause any harm.”

He took a step closer, and the man quickly took one back. He wasn’t staring at his face but down. John followed his gaze and grimaced. He wasn’t exactly looking his best at the moment. Or perhaps he was. The man was right to fear him, in any case. No upstanding citizen would trespass into someone’s private property while shamelessly sporting their birthday suit. 

“Right, I’m naked. I guess that’s got you feeling a bit spooked,” John said, raising his hands in a placating gesture. “I swear there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation for this, though. So, how about you put that gun down?”

He moved forward again, and that was his mistake. The man went trigger happy on him, and fired. He wasn’t hurt, of course. It had taken a series of operations and a rather uncomfortable amount of tinkling with his DNA, but now John could say that he was effectively bulletproof. The doctors had tested that quite diligently. As it always did back then, the bullet ricocheted off him. Then it went through the old man’s skull, instantly killing him. He fell to the ground, so fast and abruptly that it took John a moment to understand what had happened.

He stood there for quite a long time, withstanding the bite of the scorching sun on his exposed flesh. The German Shepard had returned and was barking furiously at him for the audacity of killing its owner. John paid it no mind, knowing that it couldn't hurt him. Points had been made that there was nothing on Earth that could. Blood was steadily spreading through the ground. He realized then that the dead man had not been old, as he’d first assumed, but rather young and worn out by life. He chuckled.

Once he started, John didn’t stop laughing until the pain became unbearable, forcing him to his knees. There were tears gathering at the corners of his eyes. No matter what he tried or where he went, it seemed he could never truly escape death - that is, unless it was his own. 

Once he was able to compose himself, John went out onto the highway and hijacked a car.

“Oh, would you calm down?” He said, giving the anxious-looking driver a stern look. “We’ve been over this, Kevin. I’m not gonna hurt you. Just take me across the state line and you’ll be fine . And for fuck’s sake, roll the goddamn windows down! This adrenaline stench’s killing me.”

There was likely nothing to fear in this sleepy small town in the middle of Louisiana. Had he been any less of a paranoid, John would have seen no issue in staying a day or two to figure out his next move. He hadn’t been in the vicinity for more than two hours and he’d already left a body behind, though. It was an accident, of course, and perhaps he was being superstitious, but it did seem like something he ought to pay heed to. There was an itch in him compelling him to move forward, to put as much distance as he could between his handlers and himself. He didn’t want to risk Vought tracking him down if they somehow figured out that he wasn’t dead. 

“Right,” Kevin replied, licking sweat off his upper lip, “of course.”

John rolled his eyes but said nothing. His whole body hurt, and he could feel a migraine forming. Many times as he made his way through the cornfields a rush to the head left him feeling as though he were about to faint again, but he never did. Even if flying hadn’t meant further exposing himself to detection, he wasn’t sure he could do it in the state he was in. He spared a glance to the unlucky fellow that had been forced to serve as his personal chauffeur, and noticed that his knuckles were white on the steering wheel. Perhaps he’d gone too far with the whole threats and blackmail business. 

“So, you don’t happen to have any clothes I could borrow, uh?” He asked, crossing his arms over his chest to suppress the need to cover himself. You would think that after walking approximately three miles under the scorching mid-afternoon sun he would become accustomed to being naked out in the open. As it was, John wasn’t even used to existing outside of a lab, let alone being as exposed as he was. It was a sensory nightmare, if he’d ever had one.

“There’s a bag on the back seat,” Kevin said, looking visibly relieved. It was probably getting weird for him too. John pulled a shirt and some pants out of the bag and was quick to put them on. The fit was abysmal but at the very least it was covering. He considered Kevin for a moment, and wondered if there were any questions he ought to ask before they parted ways. It wouldn’t be long for now, if the street signs were to be believed.

John still wasn’t sure what he would do, once they made it to Arkansas. He felt out of sorts and unable to formulate a plan. It wasn’t clear to him whether his exhaustion could be attributed to the fall, the lack of oxygen or a prolonged exposure to radiation. Perhaps it was the combination of it all. He just knew that he wanted to make it out of the countryside, away from the unbearable heat and the sharp, overwhelming smells of farming and pollen. 

It doesn’t matter where you go, tiger. They’re gonna find ya, a voice murmured in the back of his mind, as he stared listlessly at the passing scenery. You seriously think you can survive without them? You ungrateful, spoiled brat! You're never gonna make it on your own. May as well go crawling back to daddy Jonah and beg for his forgiveness, while you still can. 

Fuck off, John replied with a scowl, I don’t need them. I don’t need anyone, and especially not you. Leave me the fuck alone!

You just couldn’t handle it, could you? Homelander said viciously. Don’t know why I’m surprised, you’ve always been so weak. So fucking fragile. Vogelbaum didn’t give ya enough head pats, is that it? Is that why you’re running away with your tail between your legs, like the fucking pussy you are?!

No. John shook his head. His lower lip trembled, and he bit into it to try and hide it. No, that’s not it. Just- shut the fuck up! 

You would’ve made a lousy hero, anyway. Perhaps it’s for the best. From here forward, we’re on our own, partner. That’s how it’s always been, isn’t it? Who would want you, but me? Not the doctors nor the tutors. Certainly not Vogelbaum. I mean, not even death will have you. How pathetic is that?

John could feel tears gathering at the corner of his eyes, and quickly blinked them away. It was the pollen, he told himself - the sharp brightness of the outside world that he'd so rarely witnessed in the past. To say it was overwhelming was an understatement. The never ending turning of the Earth, the people moving about, the smell of livestock, the cars passing by. He could feel his heart racing, and suddenly he felt nauseous and unbalanced, as if he were about to fall.

Are you seriously having a panic attack right now? For fuck’s sake, John. I thought we were past this, Homelander said, and John swore he could hear him laughing. If his handlers did manage to track him down, they would drag him back to the lab by the scruff of his neck. They would put him in the Bad Room again. He needed to blend in. That meant concealing his powers and performing normalcy - speaking, living and dressing like a faceless figure in the crowd. He could probably pull it off. His tutors always said that he had a talent for acting.

You can’t escape your fate, John, said that soft, brutally mocking voice. You were created with a purpose, and you’re going to fulfill it whether you want it or not. 

Belatedly, John realized that he was muttering to himself, anxiously bouncing his leg up and down. Kevin was staring at him warily. He clamped his mouth shut, forcing his body to go completely still. 

I’m the strongest man in the whole wide world, John thought, rubbing his eyes, I can do whatever the fuck I want. 

[trashbag-baby666]

🛼

could u do something in canon verse with protective bucky over buck? not sure what that would look like… maybe a RAF guy being a jerk?

I made this a little more angst than I anticipated…hope you enjoy!!!

It’s Your Turn Now-Buck/Bucky

Summary: Buck is having his turn of mourning Curt and Bucky isn’t going to let anyone make him feel bad for it.

WC: 647

C/W: Mentions of character death and drinking,

MOTA Masterlist!

Buck was very much still grieving Curt, he didn’t drink, he didn’t smoke, he didn’t gamble. So he sat in the bar quietly as Bucky drank away his pain pretending as if it didn’t happen. He’d see him keep looking to his side to poke fun at Curt or create some trouble. Then Bucky's face would falter from his drunk smile and shoot a glance over to where Buck sat in the corner. Where they would sit in the corner with Curt smashed between them like some homoerotic sandwich.

Buck sat with his knee pressed into Bucky’s some guys were playing craps but they were just observing. “Maybe if you flew your missions during the day you’d hit your targets.” Demarco pointed a finger at the four RAF pilots sitting across from them.

“Maybe if you flew your missions at night you wouldn’t lose so many forts.” One of the RAF bastards scoffed looking at them. The table went quiet and everyone began to turn glances to John and Gale.

John felt Buck go tense next to him and grab his leg gently. He could tell he was uncomfortable. John knew better than anyone else Buck was now just beginning to get his time to grieve for Curt. After they found out Curt and Dickie didn’t make it they wrote their parents letters. Then packed up their stuff to send back.

Bucky had been an absolute mess, he had cried so much and so hard he was shaking and could barely get out of bed for a few days. Buck had taken care of him until he was ready to try going back to normal.

“I think we’re gonna call it a night, boys.” Bucky slapped the table lightly.

“Oh, are you Majors too sensitive to own up to your mistakes?” One of the RAF officers taunted.

Bucky felt his face go red as he narrowed his eyes, shoving the guys out of the booth so him and Buck could get out. “Do you wanna settle up my tab?” Bucky took his wallet out and handed the money to Buck, he watched as the blonde walked over to the bartender.

Bucky grabbed the collar of the RAF jerks jacket forcing him to look up into his eyes. “Don’t ever talk to him that way again or disrespect our men who laid down their lives flying missions. Your asses can’t do it successfully.” Bucky pointed a finger at him aggressively, he could see the other man shaking and his lip quivering, “Understood, yank?” Bucky spoke, mocking their accents.

“Understood, sir.” the man swallowed as Bucky let go, shoving him back slightly.

John walked alongside Buck back to the barracks, their hands interlocked as John kicked a rock.

“You didn’t have to do that,” Buck sighed, stealing a quick glance over at John. he had his eyes gazed on the rock he was kicking. John let out an exasperated sigh and gave Buck's hand a squeeze.

“Well it’s not okay for them to disrespect the men who died, especially Curt, they knew him. He punched the one for Christ's sake.” Bucky grumbled, he didn’t feel the need to only protect Buck. He felt that he needed to make sure Curt didn’t die in vain. As Well as not letting him be forgotten. He had put Curts small lucky four leaf clover pendant on his dog tags. Curt had always slept with it under his pillow and now Bucky clutched it to go to sleep at night.

“I know, I appreciate you standing up for yourself and I. Well you know and the ones we lost.” Buck rubbed his thumb over Bucky's hand.

“Let’s lay down, yeah?” Bucky opened the door to his room and let Buck in. He just wanted to spoon Buck till they fell asleep. This time around he wouldn’t take his time with Buck for granted.

[preordainedplace]

tagged by coolest awesomest guy ever @wereoz thank youuuuu <3 havent done one of these before but i love talking about my self forever

last song: mediocrity rules by le tigre (from the desk of mr lady is a great album. go listen to it)

currently watching: finally got around to watching the good place it’s been so so so good so far i love dysfunctional groups of morally corrupt people in inescapable scenarios (iasip and succession enjoyer) so i’m having a lot of fun with it :) also been rewatching my beautiful wife severance and my other slightly worse beautiful wife nbc hannibal. i watch tv shows in normal ways like a normal guy

currently reading: william shakespeare’s othello for my lit class (it’s dense. first year of sixth form so haven’t grasped shakespearean era language yet and i keep having to look things up it’s rough i’m sorry william) + wolf in white van by john darnielle (john is my #1 writerguy his stuff’s always fun to read. so sure i’m biased but wolf in white van’s been super fun so far and in terms of themes and such it really reminds me of tsn especially in its handling of time. so been enjoying it!) + the accidental billionaires by ben mezrich (autism is a real thing. bought her on a second hand books site for 3 bucks and its actually been a really fun read it’s written entirely like a novel so reading it post-social network it just feels like a deeply canon compliant piece of fanfiction. tsn nation get a copy it’s a good time) + they can’t kill us until they kill us by hanif abdurraqib (doesn’t really count because i’ve kind of been skipping around but his prose is absolutely wonderful he’s one of my favourite writers ever :) his essay fall out boy forever is an absolute joy. go read it it’s brilliant he’s brilliant)

current favourites: jacob geller video essays + saying ‘beautiful world that we live in’ in conversation + clothes with so so much unnecessary metal attached to them + writing analytical essays + the power of the human spirit + hats + bright clear days + leafy greens (especially pea shoots. i love pea shoots forever) + annotating books + slogan t shirts + playing and having fun + wearing the same outfit every day + cds + free admission at art galleries + publicly admitting to having a blog + fuckener’s tsn fanfiction + the sound of my wallet chain when i walk + trent reznor and atticus ross soundtracks + the new fall out boy music video + the busy beaver button museum + tunnel vision jewellery + winning ebay auctions + most importantly my beautiful girlfriend the social network 2010 dir. fincher and its accompanying content <3

tagging @viixeon @endingofdramamines @hereticpridemp3 @jokeryuri @scoobydooisgay and any of my other lovely nicey mutuals who see this (u may not know that we’re mutuals because this is a sideblog but you’re all like brothers to me. kisses <3)

[randomfoggytiger]

X-Files Collector's Edition: S9, The Season of Secret Dad (Long Fics)

There will never be enough content to make up for the robbery of canon post S8-- parenthood and readjustment and healing for Mulder and Scully with their son, whether that has a Conspiracy attached to it or not. These fics try to bridge that gap (and shoutout to @welsharcher's coining of the phrase "Season of Secret Dad".)

These might be repeats from other lists; but I wanted to be thorough~.

**Note**: Will ghost edit later~.

Loose chronological order below~

Fics Where Mulder Stays

MissAnnThropic's Not the Same

""Awww..." Lela made the tight sound of womanly adoration, "you have a baby? Do you have a picture of him?"

Mulder flashed her a bright smile a moment, his expression saying as clear as anything 'of course I do, I'm a new father, aren't I?' and he reached into his back pocket and withdrew his wallet....

Tom leaned over to look and Miranda leaned over him to see the picture too.

It was a picture of a very small baby on his back, a stuffed green alien toy in his hand's limp grip as it rested against his belly. Tom smiled at that, despite his earlier attitude toward Fox Mulder and the whole little green men business.""

Colton is floored by how much Fox Mulder has matured.

Tess's (Ao3) The New Truth, A Project 09x00

""Startled, Scully's eyes popped open. She had been enjoying the quiet coziness of the day; tucked into the apartment with the two people she loved most in the world while rain tapped in a steady beat against the windows. She felt Mulder's steady gaze, even as she steadfastly refused to meet it and she knew that the time of living in a world of 'let's pretend' had just come to a crashing end.

"These last few weeks of being a normal little family have been wonderful," Mulder said softly. "But, Scully..." he scooted across the cushions and leaned into her side. "We're not normal people.""

Mulder and Scully have a tough conversation weighing all their options. He's not leaving; but Scully will have to return to the FBI parttime to keep its resources at their fingertips.

Lapsed_Scholar's Season 9 Rewrites and Musings

MASTERFUL fill-in series: Mulder is a stay-at-home dad during the entire events of S9. Love this to death. Below are the reworked episodes:

A Devil's Office

""Monica nodded, and they sat in contemplative silence for a few moments, before Mulder broke it.

“You know, he looks like my sister.”

She looked up—he was looking down at William again. She couldn’t see his expression, but his voice was soft and tender, full of wonder and tinged with nostalgia. Fox Mulder the man was turning out to be a very different entity from Spooky Mulder the legend.

“His eyes are hers—Dana’s, I mean—but... Maybe my mother would have told you that he looks like me, I don’t know; I never saw myself as a baby. But I remember how my sister looked. It was thirty-five years ago, but I still remember looking down at her in amazement when my parents brought her home....”

Mulder looked back down at William, ran his finger along his son’s cheek.""

Mulder is settling into stay-at-home parenthood, overcoming his feelings of uselessness with a very contented baby... and finally giving in to a consultation request from John Doggett.

Dispatches

""Hey, Scully. You’re interrupting a monumental construction project. It’s the tallest tower of blocks yet built by man.”

“Mmhm. And what is William doing while you’re assembling this feat of modern engineering?”

“I’ll have you know this is a joint project. William is...in charge of grabbing the construction material and sticking it in his mouth.""

A dialogue only piece (but it's one of my absolute favorites) featuring a VERY ticked off Scully fuming over a pain-in-her-side bug doctor and a VERY amused Mulder having a blast sympathizing and egging her on.

Semper Fi

""Speaking of... A familiar form flops itself into the chair next to his. He honestly should have expected this.

“Fancy meeting you here, sir.” Fox Mulder has a peculiar way of delivering inane pleasantries. His expression and tone are bland enough to pass scrutiny, but something in his bearing always implies that a lively mind is humming away under the surface.""

Scully rants to Mulder about Kersh purposefully interfering in Reyes and Skinner's attempts to bring Doggett home. He's on the case.

Denial

""She calls home because she needs a break from the existential, or maybe because she needs another opinion on it. She sits in the hospital cafeteria and leans her head against a window.

She asks Mulder for stories of William, and because they are who they are, he innately understands why she’s asking and indulges her thoroughly."" 

Mulder understands that Scully is denying her gut; and convinces her to look deeper into Doggett's claims that Reyes isn't dead.

Extreme Probabilities

""The two of them might have made an impressive pair of dashing FBI agents for that Bureau recruiting pamphlet, except they both looked bedraggled. John clearly hadn’t slept in awhile. He had dark circles under red eyes and the look of exhausted intensity that comes from staring at evidence for too long. His suit was wrinkled and rumpled, and there was a coffee stain on his shirt. Mulder had clearly been asleep not too long ago. His hair was sleep-mussed, and he was wearing what he usually wore to bed (an undershirt and lounge pants) coupled with running shoes and a holster. His serious and tense expression made for a marked contrast with the ridiculous outfit.

Reality usually is quite different from the pamphlet.""

Mulder doesn't believe in numerology; but he does gets pulled into this crack case about God and Burt Reynolds anyway.

A Quiet Friday Evening

""The phone rings. Scully frowns.

“That must be the sheriff. Here, Mulder, hold this open and keep the abdominal wall spread.” She hands him the salad tongs before he can ask if maybe he can answer the phone instead. He stares after her in speechless misery.

He is going to buy new kitchen utensils. They are throwing all of these away, and absolutely nothing Scully can say about boiling water or exceedingly high temperatures or using the autoclave at work will convince him otherwise.""

Mulder gets roped into a cat autopsy. Yes, it's gold.

Valor (Discretion)

""You’ve had a lot going on lately, Mulder,” Frohike gestured toward the baby. He also meant to include, of course, the whole abduction-death-and-resurrection ordeal. Most of the people who loved Mulder didn’t want to reference it directly, so, despite how centrally traumatic it was, it predominately remained in alluded subtext. “We didn’t think our problems should add to yours.”

Mulder stared for a moment. He had the audacity to look hurt. “I thought we were friends. If you have problems this serious—especially ones I can help you solve—I want to know about them. After all you’ve done for me—all you’ve done for Scully—how could you not tell me when you needed help?""

A biohazard, TLG running around like chickens, Morris Fletcher... and Mulder insisting his friends call the authorities and act rationally.

Catastrophe

""He didn’t have to wait for long. About five minutes after he had arrived, the doors to the elevator slid open, and Mulder emerged, maneuvering a stroller carefully over the gap between elevator and floor. His eyebrows raised fractionally with surprise when he saw John, but he otherwise kept his composure. John studied him. He was looking better these days, although he still had a slightly uneasy air about him, a man who wasn’t fully confident of his place in the world, not entirely grounded. But he was clearly trying, and he looked more at home in his own skin than John had ever seen him. At this moment, in fact, he appeared steadier than John felt.

“Agent Doggett,” greeted Mulder, quietly, once he had reached the apartment door. John glanced down into the stroller; William was peacefully asleep, his head turned to the side and his mouth moving occasionally in the phantom nursing of sleeping infants."" 

Doggett asks Mulder to write a profile on his son's killer, while Scully is there to support her partner after he gets sucked into the brutal randomness of the crime. The rest of the fic winds up to her disappearance while on a case Mulder asked her not work on: postpartum depression, Mulder's feelings of displacement in her life, and unfinished conversations between them. (Unfinished fic.)

Jenna Tooms/misslucyjane’s (Ao3, mulderscreek)

An Acceptable Level of Happiness (Site)

""Sunday afternoon I spread an old sheet on the kitchen floor and tie a dishtowel around Mulder's neck. He sits stiffly in the kitchen chair, his eyes on Malcolm. "Warn me," he says, his hands clenching.

"I know." I run my fingers through his hair, combing it out. I never start cutting right away. First I rub his temples and massage his scalp with my fingertips, trying to soothe him until his eyes close. I rub the base of his neck and his shoulders too, trying to reassure him that nothing's going to hurt him here. He often says he'd know my hands anywhere.

"I'm picking up the scissors now," I say when he's relaxed. He acknowledges this with a grunt, his head tilted forward....

I keep one hand in his hair as I trim it, scraping my nails lightly against his scalp. There is one scar on his head and every time my fingertips pass over it my hands tremble. They cut him open everywhere.""

Mulder and Scully are struggling with their separate PTSDs but willing to stick it out, thick or thin. She processes most of her emotions and draws closer to her partner at the Scully family Christmas; and he gets to meet Charlie and feel like a human again.

ML/ML_is_me’s (Ao3, Gossamer, DW, Invidiosa)  

Project:TruthSeekers Alt Season Nine: Home Fires, Part One (Goss)

Project:TruthSeekers Alt Season Nine: Home Fires, Part Two (Goss)

""Mulder had the door open before she got there, holding a squalling William in his arms. He raised his eyebrows at her slightly.

"Sorry," Scully said. "You got my message, didn't you?" She set the groceries down on the kitchen table, pushing aside an array of toys and teething rings to do so. She could see what kind of day her men had.

"Yeah," Mulder said. "I was here, I just couldn't get Limpet Boy to let go so I could answer the phone.""

Mulder is a stay-at-home dad battling the Conspiracy. Scully and their new partner get a call and drop-in from Phoebe, who is relatives with a higher-up in the Syndicate.

155 Words - Thankful

""Not long ago, he discovered that all he cared about had been pared down to a few essentials, and it wasn't hard to leave the rest behind.

Perhaps dying and returning is responsible for such clarity; but he hasn't analyzed it.""

Mulder marvels that Scully tracked him down with a baby in tow.

maybeamandaxffics/maybe_amanda/MaybeAmanda's (LJ)

Chataqalan - 1

Chataqalan - 2 (Goss)

Chataqalan - 3

""Who was that?" Mulder asked.

"Monica."

"Reyes? What's she doing there?"

"No one is quite sure," Scully said, settling herself on the bunk. "Least of all her."

There was a brief pause. "Excuse me?

"She asked if you could call John about her boots."

Another pause, this one a little longer. "I'm supposed to make a booty-call to John Doggett?""

Scully and Reyes team up on an investigation in Mexico: while Scully catches Mulder up on suspicious connections to Russians and Tunguska, Monica meets a possible love interest and starts to notice weird, suspicious activities from some of the other workers.

Under Construction (Goss)

""Then I got the arms. The *pick-me-up* arms. The *you're-my-dad- and-the-toes-of-my-tiny-little-Reeboks-belong-in-your-abs-pick-me-up* arms. I shouldn't hesitate - I shouldn't have to hesitate - but I always do. Anytime Scully noticed, she tried hard to look like she was trying hard not to look pained, but I saw it, anyway. It wasn't that I didn't want to hold William - hold my son. It was just that, every time I reached for him, for an instant I was sure my arms were going to pass right through him and I'd find myself passed out on the cold cement floor of my cell again, clutching my chest and aching for all I'd lost. If the price I had to pay to keep this dream up and running was never really holding it, I was prepared to accept that.

But William wasn't. "Up!" he insisted, so I accommodated.

He was solid. Real. I'm his dad. His toes do belong in my abs.

I kissed his forehead. Why isn't everything this simple?""

Mulder is returned with muddled memories of S8/S9 events, a truckload of PTSD, and a boatload of feeling that he's in everyone's way. Will already loves him; but Maggie hates his guts, and Scully isn't ready yet to smooth over that problem. And, Mulder finds out, everyone had been matchmaking her with Ellen's brother-in-law.

jeri's (MC) Ahonis (MC)

""Oh sure, Mulder could come by the office anytime and visit. Doggett often asked Scully to bring Mulder and William along on lunch breaks, or just have them drop in for a change of pace. But both Scully and Mulder felt it was best if he and the baby stayed clear of the FBI; Kersh may have left the Bureau, but he was still out there, reporting to someone. There was no guarantee that the new Deputy Director wasn't just as dirty as Kersh was.""

Doggett and Reyes work on bustin' a case that has connections to Marita Covarrubias. Mulder is only mentioned by Scully as a stay-at-home dad here and there.

@aloysiavirgata's (Ao3, WBM, Gossamer, LJ, Alt. LJ)

By Falling In and In

LiveJournal 2

LiveJournal 3

LiveJournal 4

LiveJournal 5

""Mulder sprawls across the black leather sofa in what is shortly to be his new home office. "It's so good to see you," he tells it. "We'll never be parted again."

"A boy and his couch. It's like a Norman Rockwell painting," Scully says, setting down a cardboard box on the desk. She picks up a container of fish food and taps a few flakes into the aquarium which is, for now, resting on the desk.

"She's just jealous," Mulder murmurs to the armrest. "She doesn't understand our love.""

These fics focus on Mulder and Scully parenting their magically-abled child in the leadup to an, unfortunately, successful Colonization (though the latter isn't the series' focus.) For my personal reading I skip part one and enjoy the rest of it (because Mulder running off to Mexico still makes me mad); but that's how I read everything, so it's nothing against this series.

A Heart of Star

""Mulder secures the baby into his bouncer seat on the dining room table, passing him a rubber duck to gnaw on. He then spreads his files out across the table, an assortment of highlighters next to him in a cup. He taps his chin with a pencil.

“Your mother says this is the result of clever editing, but I think we have pretty clear evidence of a ghostly apparition. There’s no sign of the film being altered. I mean, look at this. Mama is out of her mind.” Mulder holds a series of stills up for William to peruse.

“Ma,” yells William, reaching for the paper. “Mamamamamama!”

Mulder scowls. “I can’t believe you’re taking her side.""

Mulder's bonding moments with his growin' boy.

Elysium

""This is so cool,” William breathes, gripping the steering wheel.

Scully smiles, promising herself she will be calm even as she half-wishes he were still in a car seat.

“You wanna say the rosary first?” Mulder pipes up from the back seat. “To Our Blessed Lady of Brake Pads?”

“Daaaaaad,” William says. “I am a licensed driver now. I am a master of my craft.""

Scully's bonding moments with her miracle (and Mulder.)

mimicsmusings/mimic117's (Lost and Found)

Chip Off The Old Block 03 - Veracity

Chip Off The Old Block 04

""Hey, Charlie. Taste this."

Charles Scully cast a dubious eye on the bubbling mass of ham, beans and spices in the pot on the stove. He reared his head back, away from the spoon being poked toward his face.

"It smells fine, Mulder. Why don't you taste it yourself?"

The spoon followed his retreat at mouth level.

"I never taste while I'm cooking. How do you think I keep my girlish figure?""

Turns out, Will's magic baby powers are all in the family-- and not Mulder's. Charlie is telekinetic, too; and Maggie knew about it the whole time. (Bill is also here, and annoyed.)

Malibusunset's Terra Firma

""William plopped down onto the kitchen tiles in a seated position and stared after Mulder with a frown on his face.  Then he picked up his bottle in one hand, crawled a few feet awkwardly, then sat back down, tilted his head back, and plugged the bottle back in. He sucked voraciously and stared up at Mulder as if to say, "I can't do both, so I'm just gonna hang out here and eat instead."

"Right," said Mulder, bending down to a kneeling position. "How about you concentrate on transporting yourself and the bottle can catch a ride on the tray." William trustingly relinquished the bottle and Mulder placed it on the tray next to the orange juice and continued on. William followed eagerly on all fours. When he got to the stairs that led to the second floor, Mulder stopped and extended his arm down to his son.

"Will, UP," he said, offering his left arm while balancing the tray with his right. William pulled himself up on Mulder's leg, clutching handfuls of his pajama pants. Mulder lifted him like a sack of potatoes and hauled the baby and the tray up the stairs. Cooking breakfast with a baby wasn't for wimps.""

Mulder and Scully patch their lives together as new parents, buying a home, getting engaged, and expecting a second baby. The nuances of parenthood for a driven workaholic Scully and a stay-at-home writer-and-once-out-of-town consultant Mulder weave up and down; and is an entertaining read. (The way I read: Parts 1, 2, the first third of 3-- skipping the plotline-- then Parts 4... onward?) Notable moment: I particularly remember Mulder unable to speak after Scully's pregnancy announcement-- in Part 3-- because I was struck with how strikingly Mulder that is.

dlynn's Scully, NORAD called

""Mulder grabbed one of the pillows beneath his head and swatted Scully. When he reached to get his pillow back, Scully plopped the feathered cushion underneath her arms and glanced between her two men: Mulder, all rumpled and lanky, lying across the faded quilt -- his shirt untucked and sloppy, his jeans stained where Will's hands had wiped worm guts on his father's pants. Mulder's bare feet slid against each other as he rubbed the mosquito bites he'd accumulated last night fishing off the pier with their son. Will, the spitting image of his father, from the way he said, 'Oh, Mom' in the same plaintive voice that Mulder whined 'Sculleee' to the way he spit sunflower seeds with all the finesse of a pro, lay curled on his side, butted up against Mulder's chest. His wet hair stuck up like he'd been hacked with a wild weedwacker. Definitely, a Scully- Mulder.""

A Mulder family moment of bee stings and bedtime stories is interrupted by a call for him to hit the road for necessary Colonization-prevention work. Will knows he'll always be back.

thextruth's Our Next Path

""If someone had told Fox William Mulder that he would marry Dana Katherine Scully and that he would have two children with her. He wouldn’t have believed it, he never saw himself as a normal man, much less as a family man, but that's something that he wouldn’t change for anything in the world, his family is all his happiness, and see Scully give a kiss to that little one who is half her and half him, is always surreal, after all, he is a simple man who loves those little daily moments that fill his whole life."" 

This long fic is a series of family fluff-- the type with nothing but cozy family drama, a couple kids, and a twinkling happily-ever-after.

Mulder Left but Scully Joined Him

 touchstonea’s

Amor Fati: Destinata (The Fated Love), Act One: Desiderium (The Longing)

Amor Fati: Destinata (The Fated Love), Act Two: Et Perierat et Inventus Est (The Lost and the Found)

Amor Fati: The Fated Love, Act Three: Tres Discendens (The Leaving of the Three)

""From the other side of the connecting door, a complicated sequence of long and short knocks.  T…R…U…S…T…N…O…1…pause.  Mulder.  Or…

Taking a deep breath, Scully raised her fist again, and her knuckles tapped out her own sequence.   O…B…F…U…S…C…A…T…E…pause.  She turned the lock on the door and stepped back.

Holding her gun at the ready, she listened to the muffled sounds as the door on the far side opening slightly… then a little more.  It creaked.  She held her position, not sparing a glance at Will behind her on the bed.

Another breathless moment, and she was watching her knob turn, ever so slowly."" 

This epic diverges from canon after William was rescued from his kidnapping. Part 1 focuses on Scully's long, conflicted back-and-forth plans with TLG, Skinner, Doggett, and Reyes before she hits the road to reunite with Mulder. Part 2 is her journey and reunion: Mulder's fierce love and devotion, Will's uncanny abilities saving their hides, and reconnection while constantly being tagged and tailed by the Conspiracy. Part 3 kicks it up a notch: Scully insists they address Mulder's abduction PTSD and rescue other Super Soldier victims, barely escaping the Alien Bounty Hunter, and stumbling into Gibson's coalition in the woods with an alien faction. (This author writes spectacular and well-thought out logical connections that weave the misshapen mytharc back together.)

Revely's Unfinished Universe (Goss)

""They have a private evening ritual - nose to nose on the bed they practice telepathic communication.

Scully disappears into the motel bathroom for their soft-shelled display of male bonding, shutting the door behind her with aggravating finality - boys' side, girl's side. Mulder immediately stops casting out brain waves and begins to wonder what she's doing in there. She's awfully quiet. The baby just dozes and tries to nurse Mulder's nose until he manages to work one of his fists into his mouth.""

Does this count? Mulder is returned after Will is born; and Scully drives her son out to him. The three reconnect in gentle fits-and-starts on the long journey back. (LOVE this-- one of the first fics I'd ever read; and still a favorite.)

Gillian Leigh's (MC) Visitor in the Desert (MC)

""You have no other proof?" he asked, seemingly disappointed.

"No," she said, quietly.

"I'm supposed to take the word of a total stranger as the Gospel Truth?" he asked, almost mockingly. "I'm sorry, Rhiannon. But in my line of work, I've learned not to trust people." Rhiannon's eyes filled with tears again, and she looked down at her hands before speaking again.

"If you don't stop Scully from giving William up from adoption, I am an example of what will become of every human being on this planet," she said, calmly. "I may look like a human being on the exterior, but I am thirty- three and one-third percent alien.""

Mulder gets a vision while hiding out in the desert-- a girl from the future warns him against Scully adopting out William. He rushes back, reclaims his family, and drags them all (and friends) to an underground bunker civilization preparing for Colonization-- where he finds not only Scully's brothers, but also Samantha. The girl in his vision keeps appearing to him, and is eventually revealed to his daughter.

Honorable Mentions

@we-mad-guys’s forgetting the future

Skinner, TLG, and the Scullys take turns caring for Will when his parents are forced to work out of town secretly on anti-Colonization measures. (Love this fic; but I already included it in my Dad!Mulder sports fics.)

WordsSpillFromMyOpenVeins_89’s Weekend At Martha’s Vineyard

A vacation at the Vineyard for Mulder, Scully, their son, and his dog (which leads up to a proposal.)

Beduini/beduini's Hurricane Season

Not a favorite, but it fits the bill. Featuring unresolved tensions and PTSD crackling between new parents Mulder and Scully and among the Scully family at large, this fic explodes with mess and tensions every chapter or so, forcing everyone to get along in the midst of a sudden hurricane.

AND~ my previous Dad!Mulder fic lists here--

S9 Mulder Stays or Returns While the Mytharc Barrels On  

Fics That Fit My Niche “Dad!Mulder” Likes 

MORE Fics That Fit My Niche “Dad!Mulder” Likes

Dad!Mulder, His “Mini Me"s, and Sports 

Thanks for reading~

Enjoy!

[davekat-sucks]

I wonder what the limits of a Toblerone wish is.

I mean apparently it can spontaneously change the gender of the fucking main character so id guess unlimited.

What if somene such as you or i had found it i wonder and asked to break up davekat or make dersecest explicitly canon? Would such requests be accepted?

Why oh why did someone "progressive " have to find it and not a degenerate shitposter?

Speaking of June, the update has Terezi take out the wallet and look at it longingly the one with Johns corpse in it (the meat one i think? I forget which one died) presumably with the intent of bringing him back somehow.

If this occurs i wonder which john gets to turn into june? I mean itll be a shitshow either way that i will make fun of forever, but still i am curious.

It's a pick and choose which can be granted. For example, the obvious archive the MSPA Forums could not be brought back, despite the Toblerone wish was requested. Gamzee dressed in Korean outfit and Vriska as trans were granted, but they are only limited in Pesterquest (with Gamzee only being an easter egg within the files, not the game itself). Other wishes like Andrew Hussie going to a South Korean meetup, Handmaid content, and Post-Retcon meteor scenes are likely never going to see the light of day. I would say they choose ones that are either the easiest to do with less work. Or ones that can push a direct message and pander to a certain crowd, mainly to LGBT in hopes they give them attention and money. Anything that goes against it or is unrelated, are ignored. As for which John, they could go either one of the Johns will die or both Johns merge together into one. Would be ballsy if they try to kill of June Egbert after granting it. Or have June Egbert be the true form after merging with John.