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EEEK HAI FRIENDS !! im back (for now) i missed all of yous soso much !!
if anyone who is up to date about my work crush/work in general & wants to know the new crazy stuff that’s happened, keep reading (ITS GOOD NEWS FOR ONCE) !! (ˊᵒ̴̶̷̤ ꇴ ᵒ̴̶̷̤ˋ)
okay !! so here is a debrief before we start :3
℘ i have a crush on my coworker, i’ve liked him for about a year now !! he also coincidentally has the same birthday as kirishima… is this fate ?? who knows !!
℘ i have never celebrated a holiday/birthday due to how i was raised growing up & i work on halloween night (relevant to the story)
℘ wont be name dropping but i will call him “crush” so you know who im referring to !!
℘ i usually have trouble with my managers and believe(d) they don’t like me (also relevant)
so we’ll start on last wednesday, im hosting and my crush is doing to-goes. i get to work, on my way to clock in, and my manager + crush & a couple coworkers are sitting at an empty table next to the to go room. my manager calls me over enthusiastically :0 so i walk over and say hello all that.
she says “ so are you going to wear a costume to work on halloween ??” and i was a bit hesitant to answer because ?? i didn’t know we could do that !! and i thought they were joking around. she proceeded to tell me “you gotta wear one !! just sneak one in your bag so your mom doesn’t see !!” and i was like ahhh !! okay !! i’ll try haha !! and crush was watching this whole situation lol >//<
me being me, i still thought they were messing around… so later on, i go up to crush and ask “ are you sure they’re not messing around” and he reassured me “i promise they aren’t lying” AND THEN. he says…
“ you need to wear one… hm… if you don’t wear one, then i won’t talk to you for the whole day !! and you’re gonna be like “why is he ignoring me” and that’ll be why !! so make sure you wear one…” JWIWISJJWJS
and i said “awe man… you got me there, it looks like i do have to wear one :3
fast forward to the end of the night, im waiting for my mom to come pick me up and im clocked off. im in the back near the kitchen and bathrooms sitting on the steps by the huge wine cooler, and crush rounds the corner !!!!!!!!!!!! and starts giggling “what are you doing??”
i told him “i always wait here !! its my little spot”
and HE SAYS “you know you could always come to 7-4, theres no one sitting there…”
7-4 is the table right next to the to-go room where he was working. needless to say i got up and followed him over, and sat my happy butt DOWN ^_^
fast forward a bit more, he randomly comes in to the table and sits right down across from me, leans forward, and just starts having a whole conversation with me ??? like do u want to have children with me ?? just kidding but !!
somehow we got into the topic of my birthday, and he already knows ive never celebrated it… (my birthday is on a thursday, which means i work), when i tell you what this man. this GORGEOUS MAN. says to me…
“im gonna make your birthday extra special… im gonna get you a cake… AND a cupcake… im gonna get you both” oh lord. i might faint… is this flirting ?? anyway
so then he said a couple more things and i left a blushing mess.
following day, a thursday, i work with him again. here’s where it gets good.
so basically he’s sitting at the table we were at yet again, he’s clocked off doing his college homework ?? at work ?? i guess… anyway, its the end of the night. my manager says “you need to tell crush to get a costume… he doesn’t even have one yet!!” emphasis on the YOU ?? like okay !! i guess i have to !!
so i go up to him, tell him goodnight, ending it off with a “you need to get a costume… but i dont have anything to threaten you with (reference to the playful threat he made of not talking to me)… hm…”
WHEN I TELL YOU. HE LOOKS ME DEAD IN MY FACE. NAJAJSJSJSJWJEJDJJS HE SAYS
“what do i get if i do wear a costume ?” IWJWJWJEIXIKWJSJSJWJWJSJSJSJWJSJJSJSJSS I ALMOST DIED
me being pure shy me i blurted out “uh— a hug?” lmfao someone kill me. wow 🫨 genuinely someone sedate me WHO SAYS THAT
his response ?????? “looks like i’ll definitely have to wear one then.” HELLO HELLO HELLO HELLO DO YOU WANT ME I WANT YOU HELEPWSOSOOSOSSO
also all of my managers have been extremely nice to me lately… not cutting me early… and like… kind of giving me chances to help crush with things… like hm… do ya’ll know something i dont ?? :3
SO THATS THAT !! am i being delusional i swear… i cant tell when people flirt w me… anyways. hes gorgeous.
today is now wednesday and i work with him again… tomorrow is halloween. if i hug him i will update… BYE !! ^_^
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happy birthday momo <3
#bkanvas' art#Mob Psycho 100#mp100#竹中桃蔵誕生祭2023#Takenaka Momozo#Takenaka Momozou#takeritsumonth2023#ig its like implied tkrs again uhm lol heart#this is going to be me in a bit because its also my birthday#ignore that its late#im saying rn hes the type to not celebrate but his friends still send him messages if they exist#and this is like post finale so the telepathy club are his friends again so teehee#and uhm#im delusional. so ritsu is also one of them#anyways#one more.. and ill stop drawing 1 thing per day LOL cause my hands hurt
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IAN GALLAGHER + his journey with bipolar disorder
╰┈➤ “At times, being bipolar can be an all-consuming challenge, requiring a lot of stamina and even more courage, so if you’re living with this illness and functioning at all, it’s something to be proud of, not ashamed of." - Carrie Fisher
#happy world bipolar day to all my bp babies#(more thoughts at the end of the tags)#shameless#shamelessnet#shamelessedit#ian gallagher#cameron monaghan#*macygifs#bipolar disorder#hello pals how are we doin#i made this gif set in july of 2023 and never posted it because 1) i was terrified to share it and potentially see Bad Takes in the tags#and 2) because my hyperfixation was waning. and while both of those things are still mostly true (the fixation comes and goes)#i feel like it's really important to share as ian's bipolar storyline was not only so vital to his character it was a bit of representation#that isn't often given to the disorder and those (like myself) who live with it every single day#world bipolar day is a day where we can both celebrate ourselves and our resilience and also raise awareness of the reality of the disorder#which is both terrifying and beautiful at its core. this disease is not a death sentence or a sentence to an unfulfilled and miserable life#while there are challenges galore when it comes to balancing life with this disorder it IS possible to live a full and productive life#and i think it's really important to have representation of that in media - and while shameless dropped the ball on a LOT of storylines#over the years THIS is the one they really fucking nailed and i am incredibly grateful#i first started watching shameless while in the midst of a major depressive episode and i was later (finally) diagnosed during an extended#hypo/manic episode - this show and ian's storyline got me through so much and made me feel so seen and validated in my struggles#world bipolar day is also vincent van gogh's birthday (happy birthday buddy) who was posthumously diagnosed with bipolar disorder#and who experienced both depressive and hypo/manic episodes during his lifetime (and was regularly institutionalized)#it takes a lot of help and support to keep us going. it takes the support of our family and friends and *most* of all#it takes patience and kindness and understanding - which is so so so easy to give if you are willing to love and listen#so please. be willing. listen to our stories. be patient with us. show us love without conditions. support us in any way you can.#we are worth it#i promise#anyway. that's really all i wanted to say. happy world bipolar day to those who celebrate (me) and may all of us living with this disorder#go on to live happy fulfilling beautiful magical lives
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the downside to being a sitcom neighbour sort of person is that when rough things happen and emotionally fuck u up a lil bit, it also sounds completely made up
#bert's dead dad tag#found out today the way my dad told mom he wanted a divorce?#he wrote her a letter and left it on the dining room table for her to find on the morning of her fortieth birthday#who the fuck does that dead father#like that is the sort of thing i would entirely make up if i needed everyone at the table to fuckin hate an npc#and at least one person would go 'you're laying it on a little bit heavy'#i know he did work to become a better person as he got older#which is good because BOY howdy was that man a piece of shit in the early 90s#and we are having Complicated feelings about it tonight and also for the last nine months#something something when i was writing his eulogy i came across an old article discussing something he did in the 90s#YDIP (your dad is problematic)#like yeah this is the sort of thing that would have been vaguely acceptable in the cultural context#but like. still objectively bad. potentially ruining several lives sort of bad.#learned this and then wrote the rest of his eulogy about how he was a great guy and how i'm lucky to have been his son#(which was rough enough on its own because i've never said 'i'm [dad's name]'s son' as many times as i did that trip home)#but like what else do you do? i sent off a message looking for more information#and that information if it comes is just gonna sit with me i guess#sure as hell not telling my sister and this whole thing i've been getting through without really having anyone here for me to talk to#(hence the big fuckoff tag rant. your problem now losers who like clicking the read more button)#so even if i get all the answers i want about this one thing it's not gonna do any good except putting an end to one question#but part of having a dead dad who's been out of the business of forming new memories since you came out is having more questions#answering this one's just gonna add even more questions to the pile#but. got fuckall else to do
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ive decided that andoras almost always has crazy makeup and wigs on simply bcus its fun for him. and everin doesnt see him without any of it on until after the birthday party debacle and loses it slightly bcus she thought that was his real hair the whole time wdym youre BALD (hes not bald his hair is just short)
#my post#the wondrous oc tag#madineau#the lore is stored in the tags#world so beautiful. i love making shit up about my ocs#did this partly bcus i wanna include more ridiculous hairstyles in this bcus i realized that i can#and this is perfect for andoras bcus he literally doenst do anything all day anyways. so he just gets up spends half the day gettnig ready#and then spends the rest of it hanging around ev and bothering her#theres a bit of bright colors and markings like aposematism. like watch out hes toxic do not approach#like ev gives a shit though#ANDDDD ive managed to incorporate MOON SYMBOLISM. bcus god what is this story if not just the moon a thousand times over for no reason#(the reason is it was like 2 am i was delirious on sharpie fumes and got really emotional about the moon out of nowhere)#so like when hes first introduced his makeup includes a new moon. new beginnings and all that#during the birthday party hes got a 1st quarter moon. for intention. bcus thats when ev and an get a little normal about each other#and an specifically realizes oh hey. i actually liek this person. and i think she likes me too. i dont want this to ever stop.#smilesss he realizes this while theyre dancing. and ev is laughing and relaxed and SMILING for once and an wishes he could watch that smile#forever...#dreamy sigh. ive had that scene living in my head for years now#i think i came up with that after reading knifetrick. bcus i loved the party scene soooooo much <33#where was i. right moon makeup.#so in the very very very end andoras has a full moon#sealing of intention slash continuing the cycle. because its implied hes gonna overthrow the government and kill the current leaders#thats a big jump from where we just were. bear with me here a lot happens in this story#like the birthday party and that tender moment. is interrupted by the rev squad showing up and trying to convince a crowd of people to#murder ev#which more or less works pretty easily btw. they all just go 'ok bet' as if they werent attending HER party.#its fine its whatever its ok. ev doesnt think theres anyone she can truly trust but she does so anyways and just prays they dont turn on he#bcus the only people she has left in the world are her 2 advisors who hate her and her best friend who also maybe hates her
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1.2k words into the next chapter of my fic and I work a double the next two days so I won't be able to write more and I'm sad about it :(
#the other me fic#writing#fanfiction#fun thing is im like maybe a third of the way through this chapter#so it may be a longer one#hopefully#if it hits 3k i may split it up#but also this chapter is already split from the last one#that was more of time than length though#but its honestly good in the long run#because (small spoilers) it made me think more about what is now chaprer 12#and were switching back to a scar pov.#for most of it at least#it does gotta go back to grian at least a bit at the end i think#but we shall see what happens#on Saturday when i can write again#because even if i wanted to write after work#i have to make a cake#am intricate one#for my sister's gf birthday
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ANYWHO goodnight tumblr i'll be back on the art grind tomorrow i think 🙏
#haunted ecosystem#i'll take a burst of creativity in a different form than usual than the burnout slump i've been in for a few months#<- part of why my fandom stuff has taken a smidge of a backseat#dont get me wrong i am still very excited about my fandoms im just having fun off in oc hell (affectionate)#its nice to just be able to create and not really worry about perception. and also i feel Less bad about just throwing ocs into the wringer#((blame the fact i've been REALLY interested in whump recently and i have been. fixated. on one of my characters.))#and ALSO i've been! rekindling my flame for wtds. i've been putting off thinking about it since that fic got.#nothing bad happened? but it was still very devastating that somebody who i considered a friend from that fic just. evaporated.#but i'm gonna finish that fic for him :) even if it takes a year. even if it's the one thing i finish ever. it'll be wtds.#for where its gotten me and the fact its what got me out of my shell and is the reason i trust that my writing is good!#i used to really hate rereading my work. i catch flaws that are obvious to me. but that fic. i just think about how *good* the story is#that story means. a lot to me? as a person? like the main character is not a good person. but people care about him anyway.#and there are so many little things. so many sentiments. so much that is a love letter to people who've done bad but learnt to do better#because. god knows i wasnt a good person even just a few years ago. and maybe i see myself in him a bit.#he came from a place of paranoia and fear and pain. and maybe its a good thing that i've found it difficult to write him recently.#because god. i've been HAPPY. even with the rough moments and bad days. i've been happy. i mean fuck.#my birthday's what. ten days away? god damn man. i'm going to be 18. that's an achievement.#i want to look the kid who thought it was over at half my age and tell him we fucking made it. and there are more years to come.#there's a life ahead. even if it's going to be a bitch. even if it's going to be tough. there's love in your heart and people who care and#you're going to fucking live and you're going to feel better one day. you have people to meet properly and thank and cherish.#because for every day it feel like the world's ending there are a dozen more where the sun shines just the right way through the rain#and you can't help but smile because it's just so god damn beautiful.#and fuck it. you're sick. your hands hurt and your legs don't work right. and it's tough sometimes. but you have people who understand.#you have people who honest to god love you for who you are and appreciate your company. and 18 is the first step.#you've spent half your life unlearning things and you've spent half your life relearning how to be what YOU want to be#and if you're a mediocre artist and passionate writer then you'll be fucking great at that. taking the time to learn when it strikes you.#and maybe this is for me. but its also for anybody reading it too. please god if there's one thing you take from this let it be that#somebody out there cares. *I* care. god i care. even if we've never spoken proper i care about you.#i practically have a list of everybody i see in my inbox. i love seeing familiar names show up. i.#i dont know how to neatly wrap up this tag ramble. but. i am so damn full of love it hurts sometimes. its scary to be happy but thats ok!
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1. it’s my 24th birthday today, so my goal of being published by the time i’m 25 is now a one year looming monster, but i never specified what kind of published and am currently looking in various literary magazines that are recommended for writers who have yet to be published, so i’m surprisingly confident that i can make it work? and tbh even if whatever i write isn’t officially published before my 25th birthday, if i have someone in the process of being published then i’ll be happy!! no matter what though, i’m gonna try to be proud of myself for at least giving it my best shot!!
2. i honestly love that my birthday is on the ides of march because the ides of march meme shitposting is only a thing on tumblr but it also being my birthday makes it easier to like. be excited about the ides of march outside of tumblr. like even in person i can be like “it’s my birthday! i’m an ides of march babe (:” and if someone is like oh what’s that? or if they say something along the lines of oh like julius caesar? i can be like yep!! and even if it’s a small thing outside of tumblr it brings me immense enjoyment and amusement being able to bring it up off of tumblr
3. transportation situation has been very rough since june 2023 when i totalled my car, my gap insurance are being assholes and i ended up putting my foot down on the phone with them yesterday which i’m pretty proud of because i am NOT a confrontational person (something i’ve been working on this past year, so seeing some improvement with my ability to hold my ground and not be a pushover yesterday was very cool!!) i was told i’d get a response from them by friday next week no matter what, and if i don’t then friday of next week i will continue to wreak havoc upon them. but my moms car which i’ve been using since my accident broke down yesterday, hopefully it’s fixable but my parents were saying it might be done for, so trying to think of how i’m gonna get to work next week is kind of stressing me out lmao, but for now i’m just gonna focus on enjoying my birthday the best i can because i don’t want to start off being 24 with an overwhelming anxiety for something that won’t be a potential issue until monday. plus i already messaged my boss today to let her know that i’m going to do everything i can to make it work out but just so she’s in the loop and knows of the potential of me not being able to make my morning shifts (one of my coworkers said she’s more than happy to give me a ride for our afternoon shifts which does help relieve some of the stress!) and i told her i’d let her know for sure sunday so that if necessary she can have time to figure out someone to fill in for me in the mornings!
overall: life is weird and i ended being 23 yesterday with a shitty situation but a positive outlook and i am going to enjoy my first day of being 24 no matter what because honestly i fucking earned it. happy friday everyone, i hope it’s a good day for you and me both!
#aritalks#i did cry a little bit when i first woke up because i dont really know what to do about work and also i hate not having a car i can use#not only because of the work aspect but also getting my license when i was 18 gave me a freedom i didn’t have before#and i don’t like having to rely on other people just to like go to the fucking store or something yk#but then my best friend/roommate messaged me happy birthday and i was like fuck it! today is going to be a good day!#the stressful uncertainties can wait until tomorrow#also one of my best friends who hasn’t said happy birthday to me the past two years#(not intentionally im p sure they were just busy on my birthdays the past two years#and then had that moment of ‘oh shit i didnt send a message fuck i think its too late now’ which i totally get bc anxiety things yk)#was one of the first people to message me happy birthday!!#i’m also hoping to still be able to go see my mom and then stay the night at my dads tonight#so i can see both my parents and also my baby siblings for my birthday#my dads working today but after he texted happy birthday i sent him a text asking if he thinks we could still make it work#my mom is asleep still i think (she called me at midnight and left a voicemail singing happy birthday!! but her sleep schedule has been all#over the place recently so i’m waiting until 11:30 to call her which is in like 30 mins)#but she said something yesterday about driving out to me to give me a hug and also bring me my diabetes stuff that got delivered#(her house is my mailing address because i know it’s not going to change bc it’s my great grandparents house that she’s partially inhereting#when my great grandpa dies but since i have moved out of my dads my address has changed twice and i didnt have a mailbox at my last place so#just for the sake of consistency and not having to worry about important shit getting sent to the wrong address i’ve had her house as my#mailing address since i moved out of my dads at 19)#so i think i’m gonna ask her if she can just pick me up instead so i can go to her house w her and hang out with her#and hopefully my dad will be able to at least stop by with my siblings so i can see them too#i’d like to stay the night with them but if we can’t make it happen then i can also stay the night w my mom and hopefully tomorrow figure#out the car situation. might have to rent a car for a week if i can afford it? best case scenario is my moms car can be fixed but i still#dont know whats wrong with it ik there are two potential problems and one is fixable the other is not#the fixable one would cost like $150-$400 to fix depending on if we get a used part or a new one#if its $150-$200 ish i can probably afford to pay for the whole thing or at least most of it#but if its more than that hopefully my dad or one of my family members can help#and i can just pay them back in like $50 increments with my next few paychecks#just realized i said i wouldnt worry abt the car thing today and also i think im at tag limit to i’ll stop now lmao xoxo gossip girl ❤️
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So. B and A getting super high together. B has an insanely high tolerance and A only smokes maybe once or twice a semester, if studying allows. A has a Horrible high and is super on edge and anxious, but B makes them feel really safe so they're not completely bugging out. B is just vibin' and having fun, but also being a bit of a Shit Disturber. Keeps bringing up creepypastas and A ends up sitting snuggled up super close to B on the couch with their arm around B's. A being all "heyy this is getting really scary :(" and B being like "haha, oh I'm so sorry~. We can talk about something else..." and A getting relaxed and :). But then B interjects: " So yeah... you know The Bathroom Head?" and A shoves him and is all ">:((!!!! LISTEN!!! ITS SO SCARY, OKAY!! I HATE YOU!!!" They're both laughing and it's very soft and intimate, but in a very queer found family kinda way.
#qeyond sucks#i have many dynamics and relationships i love to put B in#but most importantly and dear to my heart is his relationship with A#for me its very queer found family siblings#A is the one that acts older and wiser but is kind of hot headed and easily moody and anxious#B is a lot more opportunistic to act out and cause problems but is a bit more 'nothing matters'#they mesh like puzzle pieces and experience a deep love for eachother that is hard to explain#but its also really really funny because as much as im like ' B is me and I am B' on here#A is literally just a piece of my heart. my lil oc baby blue boy.#i take the broken pieces of me and i make them hold eachother close and never let go#i make them love eachother and sooth eachother and i make them safe :3#ANYWAY SORRY IM A LIL STONED RN BUT UH#bonus: B carves SWED into desks in the wammy house lecture hall.#and also that Cool S kids use to do#weed#drugs#smoking#beyond birthday#death note#also i hope you all understand what i meant by The Bathroom Head#those fears that make you run up the stairs real fast at night#A is embarrassed about having them and B completely understands but thinks its so funny also#A gets it from me. so does B.
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#life be giving me whiplash lately lmao#my banana boat is down again - an oil leak that shorted my starter 🙃#stressful time of year because we're coming up on both dads birthday and one year since his passing just a few weeks later#but I also finally bit the bullet and fessed up to the dude ive had feelings for for a while now#totally set myself up for disappointment because thats just been what lifes been handing me for the last year and a half or so#but it actually went really fuckin' well#he was essentially in the same boat as me#definitely FEELING something but valuing the friendship so much that it crippled us both#we've both helped one another grow so much over the last year or so and sort of restored a bit of one anothwrs' faith in humanity#didnt wanna risk fuckin' that up#plus he just assumed I wouldn't feel that way#but yeah it went really well and I'm REALLY proud of myself for taking that leap of faith 🥹#i told him I'm not expecting anything right out the gates#mostly just trying to open that dialog with him and to spend more time together#see where things go#met up in person to talk about it a bit today and be brought me a fuckin' bouquet 🥺😭#this is some straight up 'mutual pining but they're idiots' shit 😂#but its cute and im glad it ended up the way it did 💚#AND I've already had the asexuality discussion with him so he knows and is entirely cool with it 🥹💚#actually had that talk before feelings evem came into the equation
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the clown-like urge to start a vocaloid kaito itabag
#bean text#i want to buy oodles of kaito pins and put them on one bag#unfortunately most of the kaito badges i've found are from project sekai#which. despite the fact i don't actively hate pjsk i still want variety#like i fear that someone will go up to me like “oh kaito from sekai? whos your favorite oc”#and i have to activate panic mode because i don't know any of them LOL#i'm considered an older vocaloid fan now (got into it in early 2017) because i was a fan pre-sekai in my mind#also i'm having a penis of a time finding an itabag in his shade of blue#i'll probably settle for a navy blue or a white one with a navy blue inside#if i even end up doing this in the first place. its a bit of a money sink#and i'm still unsure if i have to pay the bills from [redacted] a bit less than a month ago#also its his birthday soon yippee
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did i ever tell you guys about heatstroke river
#its a little river a bit away from my house#decent place for swimming but lots of bugs in the summer#we call it heatstroke river because liam brought me there on my fifteenth birthday last year without telling me where they were taking me#and i had no idea how long the walk was gonna be because id never been there#so i didnt bring any water or anything since i assumed itd be a short walk#i greatly underestimated how long it would take to get there and it was like 25 degrees that day#so on the way there i was complaining a bunch about how hot it was and i kept asking if we were almost there#and then on the way back i was exhausted and overheated and i hadnt eaten anything yet that day so i#was incredibly nauseous#and i genuinely thought i was gonna throw up at least twice#at some point i literally had to sit down on the side of the road so i could take a break#because my legs were sore and it was hot and i wore the wrong kind of shoes and i hadnt eaten and i didnt bring water#the only thing i ate until i got home was a single chocolate easter egg id found in my pocket#anyways. every time we talk about it now i always mention that i honest to god thought i was gonna fucking die that day#top ten worst things you could do to someone on their birthday : make them go on a thirty minute walk in the middle of#nowhere on the hottest goddamn day of the year WITHOUT TELLING THEM HOW LONG THE WALK IS OR WHERE YOURE TAKING THEM#so umm ya thats why we call it heatstroke river. bc i thought i was getting heatstroke and FUCKING DYING that day#also i visited that place again recently with my mom bc she forced me to#it was once again fucking exhausting and i had chafing on my legs for DAYS after bc of the shorts i wore
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#periodical life updates#finished all my criminology homework! now i got sunday off to chill and maybe draw and also me and my sibs might go to chinatown? but idk#because dad's bbq-ing which might change some plans. anyway! eating dinner now :> its not my favorite but it is okay <3#high priority art to-dos: commission | daily eca (for tomorrow and the project) | art for *** and ******* | annual birthday redraw#general arts: mrd thing for monday | solepsi art | things for the ace iterations | the cases ref#self indulgence: drawtectives (i wanna draw more eugenes) | agent | fun ace things#my queue is winding down so that might go quiet in a bit <3 there's about a dozen things left <3 we'll see i suppose <3#project sekai updates: cannot believe i have to wait 6 more events until the next wxs event i just want a cool emu :'0#my strongest team is all four stars except for a three star emu; i just want a 4 star for her <3 also!! nicori smile survey for that event!#and also its probably the one where tsukasa makes a child cry by yelling about how hes gonna be a cool star hgkjh#but theres been so many events that just! arent wxs! it's been 13 events since the last one to the next one we get u-u <33 i miss them;;;#but we get some mmj ones so at least theres that <3 mmj's my assigned group and wxs's my favorite group so i have an attachment to both <3#but yeah im gonna save up gems for a cool emu card <3 theres the valentines day one too? AND ALSO. TSUKASA AS A KNIGHT?#FOR THE WHITE DAY EVENT!! HE LOOKS AESTHETIC AS HEL I LOVE KNIGHTS!!! <3 so maybe i'll try for those!!#im also writing a drawtectives fic and recently i drew some aces from one of the old aus <3 i miss him i love my little guy <33#im downloading all my old twitter archives. i have a lot of memories there i need to keep or else i'll be so sad <3 trying my best <33#i have school on monday as usual <3 can you believe my birthdays coming up this month? it feels like ive been 21 forever hgjkh <3#i think thats all the updates for now; im sleepy <33 goodnight. thank you for reading; ily <33
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My family has a tradition of people getting to choose dinner on their birthdays right. And my birthdays tend to be ideal for literally everyone. Not because I pick something everyone else also likes no no no no. But because I choose to cook myself some seafood and nobody else in the house likes seafood that much, and I also have a lot of sensory/dietary issues that can make dinner planning tricky.
So my birthdays are functionally "first we grab some cooking ingredients that cost a bit too much to be routine but are affordable enough to be an occasional treat, then you all get the kitchen first to make whatever you want without having to worry about my dietary/sensory issues, and later I'm gonna make myself more seafood than I can realistically eat in one sitting and then proceed to eat it all in one sitting."
#this year we got actual butter instead of margarine; some shrimp; and scallops we found on sale#these ingredients are gonna last me at least a few weeks if not over a month so it's not just for one dinner#sometimes we also get an ice cream cake if we're doing a bit ok for money. I always go for a log because those are easier to share#and I want to make sure everyone else can enjoy it too. its important to me that I'm not the only one having fun yknow?#ik technically someones birthday is “supposed” to be abt them or whatever but like. I'm happier if I can share food or make others happy too#its important to me that others get to eat what they want and enjoy treats on my birthdays too. its not fun if everyone else is miserable
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#don't mind me just crying a little bit after talking with a friend who's been radio silent for like a month or two#didn't realize how much i missed him until he reached out#we're industry buds so of ciurse he saw my insta story about work and sebt his congratulations but also was checking in#and we ended up just venting to each other about our industry snd our work places and discussing how good brewers leave a place#then that place thst was ince a good brewery becomes mid once they leave b/c the owners are shit to their brewers#he works at one of the biggest breweries in my county that is a 2ndry location of corporate brewery and I work for a local micro#but he's experienced both and its all the goddamn same#i missed him but i cant wait to show him the new facility at work#because despite it all we love our work wenlove what we do we just hate the owners#cheap ass motherfuckers#anyway we're going to hang out for both our belated birthdays (he's late june and me mid July)#food cake chocolate and beer! whoo!#they have spoken
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Also holy shit it's so nice having a phone that doesn't die in like 2 hours like I was able to watch a video on it while I ate smth and it didn't immediately drop to 40% I can actually use my phone again yayyyyy
#rat rambles#and I can finally ditch that stupid fucking bluetooth charging disk I hate it SO much#oh also for some context on why I got my phone it was a mix of a birthday gift and a starting college celebration gift#and I dont think Ive actually mentioned the college thing before? so uh ya thats kinda happening#and by kinda I mean Im only dipping my toes in with two community college classes#a japanese class and a 3d animation class since those are both things Im interested in#I got to tour the campus today and its a nice place so Im hesitantly excited#because I genuinely do wanna take these classes and its like. smth for me to actually go out and do yknow?#but its also yknow. school.#ofc its not as bad since its only two days a week and I only have to be there by like 3 pm#so I am excited just also a bit nervous still#hopefully itll go well tho! I heard that the japanese teacher is well liked at least so thats smth#oh but I am not looking forward to rolling the dice with the other students in my japanese class#I have a History with attracting the worst flavors of anime kids for my entire life I am gonna have to be on high alert dhmdyd#especially since Im genuinely just interested in learning japanese cause it appeals to me as a language I do not wanna deal with this#Ive had enough ppl first convo tell me abt how much they love yaoi I will cry if I have to keep playing nice with these ppl </3#hopefully theyll just be normal tho#it would be cool if I could make some like. actual irl friends#I am struggling to fight against my general school pessomism but I wanna believe Ill meet some nice ppl#I could really Really use some irl friends who I could actually go out and like. do stuff with.#bonus points if theyre fellow queer ppl (fellow aros especially pls pls pls pspspsps)#not gonna hold my breath on that last part tho Ive met like. a aro person and I didnt even talk to them abt aro stuff much#I actually think we followed eachother on here for a while on my old main but idk if they remember me#but ya things are certainly abt to happen rn today was a good day and Im hoping things will keep going well#again I cant help but struggle with being optimistic abt anything relating to school but I am still managing to be excited for now#lets pray that my 3d animation class will use smth that my laptop can run </3
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