#this is gonna be stuck in my brain for the next six weeks it's so catchy

[raapija]

God damn, Punainen Marli is such a fun song I love this 😂😂😂

Gonna be a challenge to translate, but LET'S GOO🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

[theprinceandagcd]

Six Sentence Sunday <3

Thanks @hgejfmw-hgejhsf and @nocoastposts for the tags!! my next pub is gonna be a silly Alex crushing on Henry and agreeing to be his fake date/boyfriend to a wedding. I'm a bit stuck on it but that may be because I posted 20k worth of fic in a week and my brain needs a break 😂 also this is EXACTLY six sentences so if you saw this on Twitter already, no you didn't 😘

Alex has a plan.

It is a very simple, foolproof plan.

He will 1) go with Henry to the wedding and pretend to be his boyfriend, 2) treat Henry like he would if Henry was his boyfriend, and 3) use the pretend boyfriend thing to show Henry that this whole dating thing for real would be good.

Alex fucking knows it would be good.

Then, at the worst, he happily helps a friend piss off his homophobic family.

At best, he leaves the wedding with an actual boyfriend.

tagging @firenati0n @anincompletelist @kiwiana-writes @inexplicablymine @ninzied @heybuddy-drabbles @suseagull04 and open tag to anyone who wants to play ❤️

[hussyknee]

I'm so fucking mad.

Yesterday I took 50mg of Atomoxetine (Strattera) out of sheer frustration instead of my prescribed 30mg which was doing nothing.

And then...I was like "get up" and I would get up. "Go find the electricity bill" and went and found the electricity bill. "Sort through all the mail and organise it" and just. Fucking. Did it. No getting stuck for half an hour and spiralling in anxiety because my executive commands weren't going through.

I went to the hospital and begged those fuckers to increase my dosage and spent half an hour trying to convince them that this is clearly my ADHD symptoms being exacerbated by anxiety that's fucking me up. They refused, said "Oh, but anyone would find it difficult to function in your situation", and increased my Venlafaxine (Effexor) instead, although that fuckin plateaus any further than the dosage I already take. My primary doc knows this, but I have better luck catching Bigfoot than her at NHSL anymore so I keep having to tussle with the junior dipshits.

Granted I seem to have overshot a bit, because I spent a while vibrating into the fifth dimension. Felt like I'd had six cups of coffee and needed to do three things at once. Perhaps I should have attempted 40mg first. But 50mg very much did catapult me out of this neverending rut.

WEEKS OF BEING TRAPPED BY THE STATIC IN MY BRAIN LIKE A ROOMBA ON A RUG. I couldn't get out of bed, eat on time, shower, make my bed, do my laundry, go to bed. The simplest fucking tasks like pushing a boulder uphill with a stick. Sitting on the bed doomscrolling and tearing the soles of my feet into strips so bloody that it hurt to walk. I don't pick at my feet anymore! Didn't even realize I hadn't until the end of yesterday. This is the first time I've stopped in months. I stock up on band-aids and keep them next to my bed because I usually bleed in about three places within a day. And I pick the scabs off the still-healing wounds. All stopped by 20mg more of Strattera!!!

In other medication fuckery, I stopped the anti-inflammatory meds I was taking for my back because 1) the total cost of my meds was getting insane and 2) I haven't been in pain the last two months. I looked up whether there were side effects for long-term use of NSAIDs and found that using any of them with Venlafaxine increases the chance of gastrointestinal bleeding?? The way I've been having all this time?? Was my rheumatologist ever gonna tell me?? I'm just so used to flares, so fogged in my head and so relatively pain-free that I didn't especially note it. Turns out– the only reason I haven't been in pain is because I was taking the fucking anti-inflammatories. Imagine that! So I can either take Venlafaxine (which I cherish like a child regardless of the wrath-of-God withdrawal any time I miss a single dose) or I can take NSAIDs??

*googles anti-inflammatory meds other than NSAIDs*

Internet: "eat pineapple idk. have you tried tumeric?"

I hate my life.

[amostimprobabledream]

When your head's in the clouds (keep your feet on the ground) - Ranpo Edogawa x Reader

Also available on Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/45151330 Getting anything done in the Armed Detective Agency was a struggle sometimes. Case in point. Across the room where you were meant to be typing up a report on a case the agents had recently finished, Kunikida was yelling at Dazai for a slew of complaints that had been lobbied at him recently, apparently for trying to jump off a statue of a historical figure downtown, breaking it and coming out totally unscathed. Naomi was attached to Junichiro's back, cooing as he squirmed in embarrassment and tried in vain to shush her. Atsushi was flailing his hands and protesting some edgy comment Kyoka had probably made (you weren't really listening, you tended to zone out whenever she spoke). With all of it combined, you could barely hear yourself think, let alone write the damn report. Just hang on a bit longer til lunch. you thought, rubbing your temples, the beginnings of a headache blooming. You probably shouldn't have skipped breakfast, but Kunikida was a real stickler for punctuality and you couldn't always guarantee he'd be distracted by Dazai's antics to sneak in without him noticing. And you were running late that day after somehow sleeping in, breaking your favourite bag on the way in and a bunch of other stupid little mishaps, so you weren't in the best of moods.

As you waited for the noise to die down a bit so you could concentrate, your mind drifted to your current obsession - the crime thriller novel you've been reading. You were about halfway through it now and the urge to just whip it out and start reading it in the midst of all this chaos was all too tempting. You'd even brought it with you because you'd taken to wandering around with it in one hand. You were planning to get through more of it on your lunch break.

"You know, my snack drawer is looking pretty empty right about now...”

Your eyes flicked in the direction of the singsong voice. Ranpo perched himself on the edge of your desk and you hastily grabbed it before he ended up knocking it off like a cat would. You wouldn't put it past him.

"Somebody really needs to put a bell on you," you said, rolling your eyes. For somebody who spent most of his time either inhaling candy and never putting on an ounce of weight or sleeping all day, he could be sneaky when he wanted to. "You don't look busy," Ranpo continued, and there was that famous lack of tact of his. "Why don't you take over Kunikida's shopping? He's gonna be busy yelling at Dazai for a while so you might as well." You sighed, which you'd been doing a lot lately. If anybody else had walked up to you and said that, you would have asked them who the hell they thought they were, but it's Ranpo so you let it go because you know he doesn't mean anything by it.

“I’m busy, actually. I’m finishing up a report that’s due by the end of the week.” You told him, then smirked. “Last time I checked, you have working legs. Why don’t you go if your snacks are so important?” “No way! I’d get lost if I tried to find the supermarket all by myself!” Ranpo protested loudly and you marvelled that a twenty-six-year-old man could announce that so freely and confidently. “And anyway, you’re not busy at all – you haven’t typed anything for the last fifteen minutes. Either you’re already finished and just don’t feel like going or you aren’t done and don’t know what to write next so you’re stalling for time.” You’ve seen him do it many times, but you still couldn’t help but marvel at Ranpo’s galaxy brain. He got all that from merely listening for your typing? “I- wow.” You said, closing your mouth. “Okay, fine, you’re right, I am stuck.” “See?” Ranpo smirked. “If you go on a supply run, you’ll get to stretch your legs and can come back to your silly report later. Maybe it’ll give you some fresh ideas of what to write.” It’s sound logic, if a tad bit manipulative given Ranpo made it sound like such a chore a couple of seconds ago, but Yosano, who had also evidently grown weary of all the racket, chimes in. “You might as well go,” she said, shaking her head. “You know Ranpo won’t leave it alone until he gets his own way.” “Nope!” Ranpo admitted with a cheeky little smile that made Yosano smile in response. “If you hurry you can even get back in time to finish that dumb book you’ve been carting around everywhere, even if it’s so obvious who the killer is.” “Wha-?” you blurted out, glancing reflexively at your bag you’d dumped on your desk earlier, where sure enough, a corner of your book is poking out. “You haven’t read it, have you? So how could you-?” “I skimmed the back of it when you went to get a drink earlier,” Ranpo shrugged, and a bubble of relief welled up in your chest. So, he hadn’t actually read it, he was just being dismissive like he usually was when something didn’t interest him. And then he added, “But even so it’s pretty obvious the best friend has to be the killer.” Your mouth fell open. “What?!” you spluttered in disbelief. “That’s- you haven’t even read it! You just admitted as much!” “But the summary says the main character gets the phonecall when the best friend leaves the room to talk to someone on her phone, right?” Ranpo replied, pointing at you. “That gives her the perfect opportunity to overheard everything being said and rush back in when the main character sees what’s in the garden and screams. She has a watertight alibi because she didn’t leave the house the whole time, she was with the main character. Why else would the book even mention when the friend was doing at all?” You’re speechless. As much as you wanted to ignore him, throw his deductions to one side because there’s no way he could know that – the problem is that he can. And it all clicked into place. Every scene from the book was suddenly thrown into a completely different, sinister perspective. Every time the friend offered a shoulder to cry on or was mysteriously absent from the goings-on.

Mystery solved.

Anger boiled up in you, so fast it was like a geyser erupting. Perhaps it wasn’t just Ranpo’s words, maybe it was a culmination of things – stress, frustration, whatever, but it was just so…unfair. You’d been so exhausted the past couple of weeks, that book, the now ruined story, was one of the only things keeping you going. Reading it was your escape from all the annoyances of daily life and occasional dangerous threat that came part and parcel with working for the Armed Detective Agency. Being able to observe a world as a neutral third party, up close and personal with the problems but only as a puzzle to be solved? It’s a luxury that your job, your life, rarely afforded you.

And Ranpo, because he didn’t care, because he never thought about what he said before he just blurted out whatever he felt like, had ruined all of it in one fell swoop. All he cared about was waving his vast intellect around, careless as a madman with a gun. “What the fuck, Ranpo?!” you yelled at him. He had the nerve to look shocked, as well he might – nobody in the Armed Detective Agency ever yelled at Ranpo and the only person who ever scolded him was the president. Even Kunikida deferred to his intelligence and had given up trying to reign in any of his other behaviours. You’ve certainly never so much as raised your voice at him before, no matter how much of a brat he can be. But… “What?” Ranpo said, like he honestly had no idea why you were angry, like your rage had come in as quickly and inexplicably as a bolt of lightning in a clear sky. “I was – I was looking forward to finishing that!” you shouted, hating yourself for how ridiculous you sounded – it was just a book, for god’s sake, but somehow you felt like something had been torn away from you and you couldn’t control yourself. “And you fucking ruined it, you had to spoil it and you don’t even care! All you care about is your fucking candy! You just-“ You broke off just as abruptly, suddenly aware that if you kept yelling like this, you’d start crying and that’s the last thing you wanted. Instead, you just grabbed your bag and ran out of the office with an inarticulate, “Ugh!” of sheer frustration. Ranpo stared after you, his mouth slightly agape. Slowly he shut his mouth, and stood up from your desk, arms limp by his sides. “…I didn’t mean anything by it.” He muttered; more to himself than anyone else. “Was it really not obvious?” Yosano sighed. Your reaction had surprised her, true, and she had no doubt that once you had a little time to cool off, you’d come back and apologise for blowing up at Ranpo like that. It simply wasn’t done in the Armed Detective Agency – Ranpo was the reason it existed at all and everybody knew that. And she knew how fond you were of Ranpo, it was hard to stay angry with him for very long. But even so, she felt for you too. It may have seemed like a small thing, but sometimes it’s the small things that felt the biggest in that exact moment. “She’ll be back.” Yosano assured Ranpo, and he looked up at her. “But in the meantime, I have an idea…” ~ Your walk and subway ride to the supermarket was something of a fog to you – namely because you were so busy fuming to really concentrate on anything else. Arrogant, inconsiderate…manchild! You knew you were being ridiculous – it was just a book and your reaction was out of proportion to the situation. It was simply the straw that broke the camel’s back. But now you knew you’d go through the day feeling flat and defeated. Now you’d just go scrolling idly through your phone or something and curl up on your sofa once you got home, without anything to look forward to. You could watch TV or play games or something, but…it wasn’t quite the same. And you felt kind of stupid for not realising such an obvious twist that Ranpo had discerned merely from glancing at the fucking summary, for god’s sake. It's not his fault he’s a genius. You reminded yourself, arms wrapped around your middle in some fruitless attempt at self-soothing. But he still didn’t have to say anything. He could have just let me enjoy it. Arguing with yourself proved to be a waste of time, of course. As you walked around grabbing things you were pretty sure the Agency was running low on (it wasn’t a perfectly ordered list like Kunikida would have had, of course, but that was too damn bad), you knew you’d already lost most of your initial outrage. You’d have to go back to the Agency with your tail between your legs and apologise to Ranpo. You knew you wouldn’t get one back, because he likely didn’t think he’d done anything wrong, but you did still bad for hurting his feelings. When you got back to the Armed Detective Agency, you were surprised to see it mostly empty. Maybe a job had come up, or people had gone to lunch after you stormed off. You sighed. If that’s the case you wouldn’t be surprised On your desk was a parcel, wrapped in brown paper. Puzzled, you picked it up – you hadn’t expected any mail today and you didn’t usually get anything delivered to the Armed Detective Agency offices anyway, Dazai was horribly nosy and would badger you to tell him everything about any item you got. A brief thought flashed through your mind that it could be something dangerous, maybe sent from somebody in the Port Mafia, but you dismissed it just as quickly – why would they bother targeting you over someone who is a genuine threat to them? It made no sense, and you didn’t think it likely anybody would be able to sneak past both the CCTV, Dazai and Ranpo. Slowly, you tugged off the paper. It was a book. A gorgeous, sleek, heavy paperback book. The pages were so new they were almost blindingly white under the office lighting and the cover had pretty silver filigree around the border. Smoothing your fingertips over the cover, which depicted a woman standing under a street lamp, her profile in shadow, like she’d heard a noise and turned her head to look at it just as the photo was taken. You turned it over and read the synopsis. A crime thriller? Realisation dawned on you and your eyes widened. The door opened and the Tanizaki siblings, Yosano, Kenji and Ranpo all came in, chattering amongst themselves. Yosano and Kenji saw the shopping bags and approached you with a smile. “Hey! Sorry, did you just get back? We wanted to wait for you, but you were gone a little longer than expected. Here, we got you a bento,” Yosano said, rooting around in a bag of her own and handing it to you – it was still warm to the touch. “Thanks,” you said, smiling as you handed Kenji the bags, knowing he’d insist on taking them to the kitchen, and he went off with a happy grin to restock the cupboards. “Where’s Dazai and the others?” “They got a call about a disturbance downtown. They’ll be back later, I’d imagine,” Yosano said, wryly. “Assume this doesn’t have the Port Mafia’s dirty fingerprints on it.” “Right,” you said, but your eyes drifted over to Ranpo, who was already tearing open a bag of gummy bears Kenji must have passed him on his way to the kitchen. Yosano got the hint and excused herself to her clinic, saying she’d better have it ready for when Atsushi inevitably came back with some life-threatening injury. You picked up the book and, taking a deep breath, approached Ranpo at his desk. He pretended not to notice your footsteps until the last second, even though you could practically see his ears pricking up. “Ranpo?” “What is it?” Ranpo said, and though his tone was dismissive, there was a catch in his voice when he spoke. You wondered if it made you a pushover, but his studied attempt to appear unaffected by what happened earlier tugged at your heartstrings all the same. You smiled and leaned down, pressing a quick peck to his cheek, which was pleasantly warm against your lips. Ranpo’s head whipped around so he could stare at you, the sun catching his open eyes and making the green of his irises sparkle like broken glass. “Thank you.” You said, softly, the words only meant for him. You held out the book. “This looks amazing.” “Yeah, well, it should do. I’m the one who picked it out!” he said proudly, trying to play off the faint hint of a blush on his cheeks. “That’s a way better mystery, even I had to look at the first few chapters before I had it all worked out.” You stifled a laugh, imagining Ranpo standing around in a bookshop, holding a giant paperback in his hands and flipping casually through it like it was his own personal library. No doubt he inhaled a few muffins from the coffee shop upstairs while he was at it. “And I’m sorry about-“ you began, hurriedly, since you figured it’d be more awkward for you both to apologise with a room full of people earwigging, but Ranpo waved you off. “Nevermind that. Hey, come look at this new case I’m working on!” You smiled, knowing he’d already forgiven you – he didn’t show his own personal missions to just anyone, and sometimes when he did he’d abruptly dismiss you again once something occurred to him or he just decided he’d told you everything you needed to know. But listening to him talk about them was always fascinating, so, still clutching your new book, you sat down in a free chair and scooched closer. “Tell me all about it.”

[miela]

Shattered Memories • Chapter XII: Sunflower Love • {Peter Parker x Stark!Reader}

Chapter Genre: FLUFFY (smut mentions) Chapter Warnings: (18+ MDNI) // very time jumpy (its a montage lmao), think of it as a transitional chapter into the next phase. Extra: I will be taking a little break (about a week) to catch up on requests that I have to do, and just to relax my brain a bit. I will be having a Q&A bit though, so stay tuned for that! Word Count: 5.6k

Masterlist | Playlist | Pin Board | Trello

↪ divider by firefly-graphics

For the next six months, life for you and Peter has been nothing but the best days of your lives. 

Smooth sailing and life uninterrupted.

The day after your relationship reunion with Peter, you saw that you both were put into a discord server with all your friends in it. Celina had put it together the day after the Gala, but you two were so caught up in each other that you didn't get a chance to check your phones. 

Gwen had video-called Peter and he woke up to the sound of his phone going off. When he answered, he hadn't realized it was one in the afternoon. You were knocked out next to him snoring softly and in a deep slumber.

"Hello?" He asked groggily while rubbing one eye and turning to lay on his side away from you to not disturb you.

"Dude???" Gwen asked. "Where have you been?! I know it's only been a day and a half but you haven't accepted the server request-...wait where are you?? That's not your bed. Wait, are you naked???"

Peter looked down at himself to double-check. "No, I have boxers on."

You woke up to the sound of Gwen's voice and rolled over snuggling into Peter and looking towards his phone while yawning and rubbing your eye. "Baby, come back to bed," You kissed his cheek and then laid your head on his while wrapping your arm around his waist. When your eyes adjusted you focused on the screen. 

"Oh…!" You smiled tiredly. "G'morning, Gwen."

Gwen's face was a mixture of shock and something else. Peter couldn't tell he was too tired to really analyze. Considering the circumstances, she probably figured out what was happening and what had happened.

"Holy shit!" She exclaimed. 

Peter smiled in response.

"You guys are together?! Like for real?!"

"We are. As of yesterday." 

"Dude! Let's go!" Gwen cheered happily. 

You giggled softly in response.

"Well, I'll let you guys go then, but I am gonna inform everyone. We were all kinda worried about you."

"Sorry about that," Peter said genuinely. 

"Hey, kiss each other so I can screenshot it and send it to everyone."

Peter snorted and you kissed his cheek longingly enough for Gwen to catch the snapshot. Blush bloomed across his cheeks as he smiled in reflex.

"Thank you!" Gwen chimed. "Sweet dreams and other things I guess."

"Gwen, please-" Peter groaned as you giggled.

"Byeeee," and with that she hung up. 

After that, life has been nothing but a dream for both of you. 

Your headaches were gone and you found out with research and testing that when you were made to forget Peter, your senses did not, so whenever you tried to remember him it was a push of the godforsaken spell but and pull of your senses which caused intense pressure in your head because that's where both things affected most.

It was like a constant civil war between what you knew and what you felt. The spell and your senses having an endless wrestling match and your brain was the ring. 

So when you both connected again, your senses went into overload, and didn't know what to do because it was stuck behind a spell. When you first kissed it broke the barrier for your senses to not feel trapped behind the spell. Your mind though, still couldn't completely remember him.

You continued having dreams about the faceless Peter, but you didn't mind when most days you woke up to his face next to yours.

Business was good too, especially when you started social media for yourself. You joined mostly because you helped make a social media app by Stark Industries funding an intern. You made your presence on Flutter (mostly), Twitter, and Instagram for business purposes. TikTok was left for Silk, much like how Peter had a YouTube Channel for Spiderman. 

You had personal accounts on Flutter, Tumblr, and Discord too and you used the username "jarjarjarvis" or "binksbby" made from the nickname Flash Thompson gave you in high school to bully you (he called you "Jar Jar Jarvis" or "Jarvis Binks" or simply "Binks") but jokes on him, you enjoyed the names because you thought they were hilarious as a Star Wars fan. Your Alias name on those was Luna Jarvis. Luna comes from Laguna, which was your nickname from Morgan when she was five because she wanted matching nicknames with you (and your room had moon and star themes). Everything there worked out because you didn't have to think too hard for an alias name. You really only joined with personal accounts to keep in touch with your friends and connect with others of your interests without the fame of a Stark attached to it.

But what the world doesn't see from you is the gallery on your phone where your most cherished moments are. And many of those moments made their way into a new scrapbook that you started that was titled "Our Story II: Reunited". Inside of it were the many memories made from your phone pictures, Peter's photography camera, and a Polaroid you both brought everywhere to capture memories that you and Peter had been making in those six months.

You learned in those months how much of a romantic Peter could be. Dates were nothing but going all out despite his small budget. He knew ways to utilize his resources without going broke. You loved how intimate those dates were. But Peter wasn't the only one making dates though. You also took him out on dates too. It challenged you to stay within budget and not spoil the hell out of him like you wanted to (he wouldn't let you because, by all means, you tried). You two had a dynamite dynamic. 

The seasons passed and you both accommodated them together. The autumn season, when you both reunited as a couple, was filled with red, orange, and gold colored walks in the park during your long lunch breaks and cafe trips after his classes. Hot tea and hot cocoa under heated blankets on the cooler days as you guys binge-watch movies, TV shows, or Celina's YouTube videos. When winter rolled around you went ice skating and built a snowman or had a snowball fight with Morgan in the front yard. Then you would have a hot (and sometimes steamy) shower and then cuddle up on the warm couch. You celebrated the holidays together and on New Year's, Celina and Ned hosted a party at their house with all of your friends.

Some dates included movies. It's one of the easiest ways to spend time together without spending much money. Sometimes it would be going to dinner and then the theater, other times it was a drive-in movie in your beloved convertible but most of the time it was in the comfort of Peter's apartment under blanket forts and surrounded by pizza boxes and other types of food. Sometimes it was Chinese food, Korean barbecue, Italian food, Indian food, or other foods from different cultures but most of the time it was Mexican food due to tacos and burritos fitting well with pizza for reasons you don't understand. 

When you felt like hitting the town you guys would go to bookstores where you told Peter about your favorite books and introduced him to your mystery book boyfriend.  And then comic stores where you both geeked over your favorite graphic novels, manga, and comic books. Sometimes you would buy something. This usually followed up with going to a music store where you would introduce each other to different bands and artists' music that you listen to. You would buy Vinyls while he would buy CDs (a plan you both put together for when you move in together in the future like you guys talked about doing).

Most notable is when he introduced you to Cigarettes After Sex and it was a life-changing moment.

"It's giving Lana Del Rey's brooding cousin meets The Neighbourhood," you commented which made Peter laugh. 

The self-titled album became a common go-to for living room or office ballroom sessions with you two slow dancing in the evenings like the married couple that you hoped to be one day. In turn, you introduced him to Turnover and their album "Peripheral Vision" which he enjoyed a lot more than you thought he would. Afterward, you would go to a cafe to replenish your energy before walking hand in hand down the city's streets or in Central Park.

Other dates would be with your friends too. You once went to a cooking class with Harry and MJ and it ended with both guys stressed and having high blood pressure because you nearly set the place on fire and MJ nearly took her finger off with how aggressively she cut the vegetables. You all agreed to never do that again. 

Another time you did a Pottery class with Miles and Gwen. You and Peter decided to make mugs for each other. You had fun for the most part but you didn't enjoy the feeling of clay on your hands and you tried to not show that you were squeamish about it. Peter made you a dark purplish blue mug with pastel purple clouds and silver stars around it and at the very bottom was a heart-shaped spider web which makes you smile every time you see it. You made him a mug with the darkest shade of blue you could find with stars and the millennium falcon, the death star, and a rogue one on it. You both used your mugs religiously.

Another double date was with Celina and Ned to a Botanical Garden. Celina would tell you all different facts about different flowers which made you all happy because of how excited she got to share her knowledge on them. When you got to the butterfly house, you didn't miss how the butterflies were very attracted to you and Peter due to your bug pheromones. Celina graciously took pictures of you two with several butterflies sitting on you.

You went to an arcade with Pavitr and Gayatri. It was a place where you paid one fee per person and you could play any of the games for the entire day and you guys ended up being there for five hours. You had an absolute blast, but you all were starving afterward which meant lots of food. Gayatri showed all of you an Indian restaurant that had food that tasted the most like the food back in India. You were over the moon with how good the food was.

Sometimes there were group dates with your entire friends group. One time you all went to an underground concert for a friend of Pav, Gwen, and Miles who's name is Hobie Brown. He was a guitarist in a band. He had dark skin, a very punk style, and wicks for hairstyle. Despite the stereotypes against punks, he proved that to be wrong because was one of the nicest people you have ever met. Other group dates included museum dates, roller skating at a roller rink, a full spa day, and that one time you bought everyone a weekend trip to Disney World.

On Halloween, there was a party at Harry's frat house and you and Peter dressed up as your hero personas as a joke. It was funny hearing how people spotted the "differences" between you and your hero alternate self. Like how someone said your ass is smaller than Silk's and that Peter is shorter than Spiderman, which you both found more hilarious than insulting.

Mentioning that, you guys even went on Spider Duo Dates as you both called them. Those consisted of patrolling together, volunteering together, and stargazing on the platform of the Avengers Tower. Spidey and Silk was a hot topic on social media because of the sightings of you two patrolling together again. 

When money was low on his part but he was feeling rather romantic anyway, he would set up a picnic for you both. Sometimes it was on the beach, sometimes it was at a park, and other times it would be at the lake by your house. You would bring your red guitar on those days and sing to him softly as he rested his head on your lap looking up at you lovingly like you hung the moon and created the stars or something. If it were a later picnic you would cloud gaze that turned into star gazing into the night. If a tent was involved that usually meant you were in for an…extra sweet dessert. 

Speaking of, you guys did that a lot in the beginning. It started off as a daily thing you guys did at the end of the day. You both knew it was the Pheromones and that you should slow down but he was insatiable you were insatiable and both of you together were thunderously insatiable. 

You were smart about it though. You weren't completely delirious because of your senses bonding after so long of being apart. You took birth control, he wore a condom and you made sure any room (or tent) you were in was soundproof to the point where people would think you weren't in there. 

You learned that Peter got off on pleasuring you. He's a giver by far and one of the things he likes to do is come visit you during your lunch hour and eat (you) there in your office (on the couch or the desk) as a way to treat you (and satisfy him). 

It happened so much to the point where every time Peter walked into the building (in spider suit), Nika would roll her eyes so hard at him and he would shrug. 

"You said it was your job to know things," he stated to her. "It's not my fault that you're so smart."

"Oh, Puh-lease," Nika said with another eye roll. "Don't start with me, Parker. The way you two leave that damn office beaming like idiots it doesn't take a genius to figure out that you two are doing something in there. You're lucky I'm the only one who suspects anything."

"If you weren't you would gaslight them, right?"

She squinted her blue eyes hard at him. "You're lucky I like you." 

After a while, once your senses got used to you guys being together, your coupling became less frequent. It was down to three times a week, a healthy amount you think. 

You really appreciated how your friend groups came together like a puzzle. Peter and Ned within the first month of reconnecting, instantly became best friends again. You became close with Gwen and MJ became close with Nika. Everyone got along so well and you all hung out whenever you could. 

When your 22nd birthday rolled around, no one was surprised that this day was going to be your favorite birthday to celebrate. Peter wholeheartedly expected you to be theatrical that day.

Peter woke up before you and decided to make breakfast for you with Morgan. They had gotten pretty close and she began to see him as an older brother figure which brought you joy. You knew if Morgan approved of the guy you're with, then he's a keeper. She could be an annoying little shit at times, but she did genuinely care about your well-being.

Happy also lightened up on Peter and he almost sees him as a nephew or son now, which also relieved you from your worries there. Pepper liked Peter from the start so you had no issues there. 

As to be expected you were a bit dramatic in the morning but not in a bad way, but in an amusing way. You blasted "I Wanna Dance With Somebody" by Whitney Houston which made Peter laugh and Morgan roll her eyes. 

"She's awake," Morgan deadpanned. 

You danced down the hallway wearing a cream off-white frilly lace silk robe, a red silk bonnet with white polka dots, a green feathery fur scarf thing you found at Party City, and red heart sunglasses on your nose. Your makeup was done and your toenails and fingernails were painted the same shade of red as your lips. 

Peter and Morgan watched you the entire time as you danced your way down the first set of stairs and you shimmy your shoulders and pointed at Peter which made him chuckle. You then sat on the railing of the second flight of stairs and slid down. When you reached the bottom of the railing you posed with your leg straight up in the air revealing the black red-bottom strappy heels you were wearing as you stopped yourself before you ended up flying off the staircase railing. 

Thank god, for spider powers.

"How vogue," FRIDAY stated and snapped a picture of you from a hologram.

"Thanks, FRIDAY," you replied.

You had a straight face the entire time. 

Morgan gave you the most disgusted look. "You're honestly so lame and embarrassing," she said with a grimace. "And you look like a mushroom."

"Omg, thank you!" You smiled genuinely and bent your leg down and then swung your legs over to step off the railing. "I was going for a red and folklore-themed beginning of 'You Need to Calm Down' Taylor look. I think I did a good job, no?"

"You look like a dorkface."

"Listen here, peasant child," you lowered your glasses to look at Morgan. "Today is my birthday, my 22nd birthday, all I ask from you is to let me be my quirky lame ass older sister self for a whopping 24 hours and then you can go back to being a little buttheaded little sister all you want, m'kay?"

Morgan rolled her eyes and turned back to being Peter's little kitchen helper. "You're still lame."

"Thank you," you sang.

"You look adorable, princess," Peter smiled.

"Aww, thank you, princey," you walked over and kissed his cheek and he responded with a kiss on your temple. "Did you make breakfast for me?"

"Mhm," he hummed in a sing-song way. "So, if you would like to sit down, your Highness, so I can serve you your royal meal, that would be greatly appreciated." He took your hand and brought it to his lips as he gazed lovingly into your eyes.

The way your heart did backflips was unreal.

"Okay," you sang lovingly after an embarrassing giggle escaped you and you walked over to the island bar and sat down as Morgan made a noise of disgust.

Peter walked over and set down the plate in front of you as he stood behind you. "A stack of strawberry banana and chocolate chip pancakes, a three cheese omelet, and strawberry jam toast." 

"Ooh, are you part of the meal?" You smirked asking lowly and lowered your glasses to meet his gaze.

"Mmm, I'm for later tonight." He smirked and as he leaned in and glanced at your lips with his bottom lip pulled between his teeth.

"Oh? I can't wait," you replied with a smile.

Your lips met for a long moment until you heard a cup being slammed down loudly next to you. You turn and see Maguna with her hand wrapped around said cup with an annoyed look on her face.

 "Milk for the big birthday baby," she fake smiled and walked away. 

Your eyes follow her with one side of your nose scrunched and a bombastic side-eye.

"Hey Maguna," you started. "Remember a few years ago you were dying to see me kiss someone so you tried to get me and the babysitter to kiss? Now when I'm in a committed relationship you wanna cry about it? Kinda sus, just saying."

Morgan hurried back into the room in a huff. "I was five!"

Peter looked at you with a confused look. "Really?"

"Yeah!" You scoffed in disbelief. "And he actually tried to kiss me!" 

Peter did a dramatic scoff-gasp and put his hand on his chest exaggeratingly.

"I know right?!" You matched his energy. "Fired his ass right away." 

"Good. I should've been the babysitter. Then it wouldn't be so hard would it?"

"Exactly, I wouldn't hesitate to kiss you," you smirk again.

Morgan walked out again while calling out "Mom! Laguna and Peter are being weird in front of me again!"

You pfffted and began eating your food. 

You finished getting dressed as Peter showered. 

You wore a white sparkly fringe mini dress with the strappy heels. Peter went for a white tee shirt to match and a pair of black jeans that had you staring at his ass more than you probably should have been, and red Converse shoes. You both wore matching blazers together. You spent the afternoon out with Peter getting lunch and eating at the park as you both made paper promise rings with an origami kit that he got and walked around town before going home and being met with a surprise party with your friends there. It was filled with karaoke, games, and watching your favorite movie. After that, it was time to open your gifts. You didn’t really ask or want much so they all pitched in to help Celina make you a beautiful versatile dress that was very TS folklore-inspired. You were over the moon and you went to put it on. Celina insisted that you had to do the whole look and so she decided to re-do your makeup as well. When she was finished you hurried down the stairs to show everyone who all agreed that it was amazing.

“You look so cute!” Cindy chimed. “Like a magical forest fairy.”

“Thank you, Cin,” You smiled. 

“Still look like a dorkface,” Morgan smirked.

“You know what,” You said, crossing your arms and standing in contrapposto. “When your birthday comes around I’m setting your cake on fire and throwing it in the lake.”

She stuck her tongue out and blew a raspberry at you and you responded by doing the same back. 

Pepper sighed and rubbed her temple. “I can’t with you two.”

You smiled and looked around for Peter but you didn’t see him.  

"Hey, where’s Peter?" You asked.

"I think he went outside," Celina commented, coming in from behind.

"Yeah, through the back," Gwen added with a thin-lipped smile.

All your friends looked at each other and nodded before looking back at you. You squinted at them all acting suspiciously.

“Girl,” Nika started. “Stop mentally investigating and go find your boyfriend.”

“Okay, okay, fine,” you smiled. “Thank you,” you sang before hurrying to the back door as you lifted the dress from the front in fear that you would dirty it. 

You overheard your friends whisper and shuffle around with your enhanced hearing but you decided to ignore it. You walked out onto the back porch and looked around for your beloved boyfriend. You could sense him but you couldn’t see him.

"Peter?" You call out softly.

You felt his aura towards the greenhouse fairytale garden that you and Morgan worked on together a couple of years ago while you were still healing mentally. It was a way for you to bond and you guys work on it together every spring. It was meant to be a little escapism for anyone who needed it and you found yourself reading in there most times. Outside of the greenhouse garden was a gazebo that was decorated with fairy and globe lights around it and flowers of various pastel colors along the sides of it. It added a nice touch to it. You built it with your own two hands. You often sat there to play guitar and think. 

You followed the flower pathway that led to the garden. You saw that the lights on the gazebo were on and in the center stood Peter wearing a maroon suit with a maroon T-shirt underneath and his stark specs on. 

Oh God, you thought. He looks phenomenal.

He was pacing slightly but stopped when he sensed you and looked up at you. He looked at you with wide eyes as his eye traced over the dress and blushed. You could tell he wasn’t expecting you to come out dressed in a fairytale-like dress and it caught him off guard. You smiled big with a giggle and ran over to the gazebo. You walked up onto the wooden platform and walked over by your starstruck boyfriend. 

“Hello there, handsome,” you smiled. 

“Hey,” he breathed out before blinking rapidly. “You look…I…I promise I’m looking respectfully.”

You snorted. “Well. I’m not looking at you respectfully. That suit is doing wonders for you and even more wonders for me.”

The blush on his face bloomed as he smiled as his composure slowly started creeping back in. “You can take it off of me later.”

“Oh?” you smirked and put your arms on his shoulders. “Is that a promise?”

He put his hands on your waist and pulled you closer. “It is. And I keep my promises.”

“Most of them anyways,” you giggled. “I did have to come find you, no?”

“Okay, fair, but I did tell you everything,” He smiled with raised eyebrows.

“Okay, I’ll give you that,” you replied in a playful defeated tone. 

You both chuckled softly and after a moment of silently admiring each other like it was the first time you saw each other, Peter cleared his throat.

“Will you dance with me?” He asked you.

“Always,” you smiled. 

"Hey EDITH. Please, play the song."

 You smiled as you wrapped your arms around his neck and began dancing silently. He then twirled you and you giggled. You both danced around playfully and romantically around the gazebo before he pulled you back into him with your hands on his shoulders and his hands on your hips. 

He smiled. "My barefoot princess.”

You had forgotten that you hurried out of the house before putting on your shoes. You knew if Morgan saw you like this she would have some witty shit to say to you about it. 

"You missed your chance to say barefoot Cinderella," you replied with a playful tone.

"I'm not making a Hannah Montana reference," he grimaced with a smile. 

You giggled and then you leaned your head on his shoulder and he kissed your head. "I love being your barefoot princess."

 Your senses and heart were blooming and fluttering as you both danced and you couldn't help but get lost in your thoughts. You realize that if you were to ever have a wedding, you want it to be just as magical as this moment. 

When the song ended, Peter pulled away for a moment.

 “Um, I got you something.” 

He reached into his pocket and walked behind you. You then felt him put something around your neck. You looked down to see a gold heart-shaped necklace with a sunflower on it. You looked at it with wide eyes as you felt him wrap his arms around your torso and lean his chin on your shoulder. You lift your hands to touch the golden heart and when you do, you open it to see a picture of you and Peter in it. 

You pouted and looked at him with glossed-over eyes. 

“Do you like it?” He asked. “I got the sunflower one because our senses are like sunflowers. Always facing their sun.”

“Yeah,” you replied softly. “I love it, Peter. So, so much.”

He smiled and kissed your cheek longingly. 

About an hour later, Peter carried you inside bridal style so you wouldn’t dirty the floor from being outside in nature. He set you down on the counter of the bathroom, grabbed body-cleaning wipes from the cabinet and cleaned your feet for you. He then planted kisses on them. You watched him endearingly the entire time and he looked up at you with a smile.

“You’re so pretty,” he cooed.

Your face burned and you looked away from him shyly and you pressed your lips together to keep from smiling like an idiot and failing miserably. You both then went back down by your friends who teased both of you playfully. It was then time for everyone to leave and you and Peter ended the night in bliss. 

The next day you were met with another gift. It was a heart-shaped box with star name tags with the words "from Peter" on it with a heart.

You opened the box and were met with 

adoption papers for a kitten and a love letter from your beloved boyfriend.

Peter had gone and gotten you a rescue fluffy ragdoll kitten who was born on the day you climbed through Peter's window and reconnected. 

You teared up and hugged the letter to your chest after reading it.

It was sitting in a room that was made into a cat room by your friends while you were out with Peter. The kitten was presented to you on a cat bed when you walked in. 

"Hi little one," you cooed softly as the cat rubbed its head on your hand and began purring. 

You spent the rest of the weekend playing with the bundle of fur, sending pictures in Discord, and telling Peter that he's the best boyfriend ever.

All in all, everything was perfect. You didn't feel that giant hole in your chest anymore, you got out more, your relationships were strong and overall you had a clearer mindset about everything. You still missed your dear old dad and you still had days when your mental health would decline, but for the most part, everything in your life was falling into place. It was like you were living in a contemporary age fairytale.

Until the universe decided it had other plans for you.

It was the monday after your birthday when you walked to the back of the Avengers building to go for a coffee run. Really you just needed out from your hovering board members who were bothering you about anything and everything. Your best bet was to escape through the employee parking garage.

Before you could go any further than the parking lot, your senses began tingling. You stopped and looked around before you saw your spider-boyfriend ease down on a web upside down. He was wearing the red and black spider suit you made for him, and it was honestly your favorite. 

 You smiled at him, "Spidey."

"Miss Stark," he replied. 

"Fancy seeing you here in my employee parking lot," you crossed your arms and leaned back on the wall with one leg crossed over the other. 

"I was in the neighborhood," he shrugged. "I figured I'd bring you lunch but you weren't in your office so I gave it to Nika to put it there for you. She told me where you'd be."

"Ah," you replied and tilted your head to the side and checked him out in his suit with your bottom lip pulled in between your teeth. 

He smirked. "I saw you brought Dutchess Willow to work."

Dutchess Willow, or just Willow, is what you named your new kitten. She was in your office napping on the couch when you walked out.

"She's too cute to leave at home. Plus she keeps me sane."

"I'm glad," you could hear the smile in his voice.

"So what brings you here besides bringing me lunch hm?" You smirked. "I'm sure you didn't sense any danger in Mid-Manhattan all the way from Queens."

"Nah," he leaned his hand on the wall next to your head as if he were leaning you back on the wall. "Just you."

"Oh?" Your smile widened as you let out a giggle. "Am I distracting you from your hero duties, Spidey?"

"Just a bit," you could hear the smirk in his voice. "I have an idea of how that could be fixed." 

"Do you now?"

He tapped the area where his lips would be and you laughed softly and bit your lip again. "You're cute."

"In this suit? I think I'm a little more than cute."

"Hot?" You pulled his mask halfway up his face. "Sexy, perhaps?" You moved your face closer to his. "Maybe…fuckable?"

"Ooh," he began with a smirk on his visible lips. "Can't say things like that while I'm in a suit this tight, princess."

"You have a guard there," you replied lowly.

"Yeah, that's part of the problem."

You both giggled and you leaned in and kissed his lips softly and he reciprocated. Your hands cradled his face and it felt strange because he was hanging upside down but the kiss was absolutely electrifying. 

You guys pulled back for a moment looking at each other drunk from the kiss before he flipped himself to stand normally and pressed you against the wall while kissing you deeply and you invited his tongue to explore your mouth. Your leg instinctively went around his waist and he held it in his hand while his other arm leaned against the wall next to your head. 

He grinded himself against you instinctively. And you moaned softly in response. 

"Spidey," you smiled with a flirty tone. "Save that for later."

"Sorry," he apologized. "Can't help it sometimes. Gotta have you thinking about me." 

You hummed in amusement and playful doubt as you kissed him again as you wrapped your arms around his neck.

Moments like these were sweet and had you giddy but usually, it was in a more secluded area. So you didn't spot the figure in the distance with a camera out filming the both of you caught up in your little moment, you didn't hear the whispers of an act of sabotage and secret defamation, and didn't expect it to be on blast on the Internet as the number one trending topic in a matter of hours. 

~

Tags:

@chrisevans-realwife @riordanness @peterdarlingg @thecrystalclarity @brckenmemories @paleprincesssxo @blackcanary130 @kindlover @i-have-no-life-charlie @melodicheauxxlovesfood @hufflepuff-n-fluff

[adiduck]

@howdyrat

#Young ice seeing his older self recovering from a rough battle with his cancer#old Mav reassuring him and helping young ice even with young ice not showing how deeply it affected him#I'm the worst at being clever#best I got

Now this I can do. I don't have this exactly, but I can give you Captain Mav comforting Lieutenant Ice after he sees his older self for the first time:

“Oh boy,” says a familiar voice--a little deeper in a way that’s become familiar in the last week and change, drawling in a way that’s almost mellow--and Ice nearly jumps out of his skin. He’s on his feet in the next second, swapping his cigarette to his left hand so he can salute--

The Captain salutes back, and then waves impatiently. “Put that out and sit down, Lieutenant. I said fifteen minutes and you’re not even halfway through. Can I sit?”

Ice hesitates, and then lowers himself back down, stubs the cigarette out on the bench next to him and flicks it away.

“Be my guest, sir,” he says, and clears his throat of the gravel that comes from smoking two cigarettes so close together.

The Captain frowns at him, and then sighs, lowering himself into the seat next to Ice. “If you’re upset about what I think you’re upset about,” he starts, “or really, what Ice thinks you’re upset about, I wanna tell you right off the bat that chain smoking is gonna be the opposite of helpful.”

Ice swallows, feeling all the progress he’d made at calming down go straight out the window, shoulders tightening without any leave from the rest of him.

“Sir?”

“He was diagnosed with stage two laryngeal cancer… a year and a half ago,” the Captain continues, blithely. “Lost a good half of his voice box, eight months of chemo when the results weren’t what they wanted at six, and then radiation for seven weeks just to be sure.”

“Cancer,” Ice croaks.

“Mhm,” the Captain says, and sits back. “Cancer.” He falls silent, watching Ice process that--sharp green eyes taking in the whole of Ice the way he does, like he can stare past Ice’s skull directly into his brain. Ice looks away.

Next to him, the Captain sighs. “He’s beaten it, from what we can tell. If that helps. Tests have been cancer free for a bit now. He’s a fighter--you’re a fighter.” The smile Ice can hear in the Captain’s voice is bittersweet. He glances over, and the smile gets a little softer. “You’re going to be alright, Lieutenant,” he says, and reaches forward. Ice doesn’t realize he’s stuck his hand into Ice’s pocket and drawn out the pack of cigarettes he keeps there until he’s done it.

The Captain waves them at him. “I will say: they’ve got the warning labels on these things for a reason. Something for you to think about, hm?”

Oh.

[sheep-from-rad]

I saw your Hamilton and Legally Blonde sagau stuff, I just want to request something like that with Chicago (Cell Block Tango or We Both Reached For The Gun would be cool) I imagine sadistic or cruel characters for both Roxie and Velma, I just don't know who would fill the bill, the casting is of course up to you. Love your work btw

SAGAU Musical AU x Cell block Tango Notes: I looked at my inbox and around 98% of it revolves around musical and music and I know I reached my target audience. More SAGAU musical aus in my masterlists and Requests are open 24/7 (all ask not just musical and music related) Warning: murder (this is Chicago musical so yeah murder) Masterlist 

Recap before I start. Basically this is just a normal SAGAU setting. Reader was a player, their game became self-aware and then for some reason the next time they woke up they were in a different place. They got isekai-d to Teyvat. The only difference this one makes I think it’s the fact that the reader is focused more on entertainment such as musicals and makes characters act in plays. The first part of this series (not really series because it’s a mess at this point and my masterlist is a mess) is here: SAGAU x Hamilton: The Schuyler sisters ft Ningguang, Jean, and Barbara. 

Anon, I’m sorry this one request became more on analysis rather than a fic because I don’t really know how to write the scene down. Also when I first read your request I mentally told myself, “hell I wish I can draw because this one request is better in pictures than in words”. So okay let’s go! SAGAU MUSICAL X Cell Block Tango!!

Rosaria as ‘Liz’ aka Pop!     "I took a gun and fired two warning shots—into his head."

Pop’s reason for murdering her husband is just pure annoyance. As we know Pop’s husband was very lazy and did nothing all day but to lay down, drink beer, and chew gum. Loudly. I’m not gonna cross out Misophonia here. I have Misophonia and honestly it’s not just loud sounds that gets my brain to erase all logic before diving to frustration then anger. It’s also the repetitive noises like water faucet, tongue clicking, finger tapping on desk (especially when they have acrylics and purposely doing it) and much more more. ASMR is fun but only the talking ones and not those that involve tapping etc. Mukbangs are also hell because of chewing. 

    Going back to topic I casted Rosaria as Pop because as we know Rosaria is a no nonsense person and you should never really bother her unless you guys are really close (like Kaeya for example) or something that threatens peace is afoot. Rosaria also doesn’t bother going around with people and likes to be on her own. I’m gonna be honest here, Rosaria is more likely to kill an annoying companion than an enemy. 

Ayaka as Annie aka Six!     "Single" he told me ``Single, my ass Not only was he married, Oh no, he had six wives!” 

    I want Yelan for this but I put Ayaka instead of the shit and giggles. Six tells the story of Annie Young who was courted by a man and later married. Turns out, the guy was not single at all, he had 6 wives even though he said he’s single. Annie then poisoned him with arsenic. 

I don’t have a reason for Ayaka to be here aside from the memes that rose when her banner was stuck on air for weeks and the tabibito memes. Yandere Ayaka memes count as well. Also, if you ever cheat on Ayaka, it’s not gonna be her to deliver justice to herself. It will be Ayato and his sword together with Thoma burying your body somewhere you will not be discovered. 

Eula as June aka Squish!

    “...and then he ran into my knife. He ran into my knife 10 times.” 

Moving on to our third murderess we have June.  Based on the song, June was making dinner when her husband Wilbur entered the kitchen and accused her of having an affair with the milkman. Also based on the song, the accused got violent and June started stabbing her in self-defense. It’s not clear whether she had an affair or not though.  I casted Eula as Squish because Eula is not someone you should push around. Eula left her home to become rogue and becoming violent is probably not something that she bats an eyelash on. As we see on her story quest as well, she is not afraid to get her hands dirty. She’s also not afraid to out someone even if they are related. It’s the same with June who did not hesitate to kill her husband.     Alternative to Eula, we can also cast Shenhe for this role. Shenhe gets the job done (also because her lore tells that her homicidal tendencies are just being suppressed.) 

Sucrose as Hunyak aka Uh uh! 

    “Uh uh, not guilty!”

    I don’t really know who to add here so I added Sucrose instead. Ekaterina aka Hunyak aka Uh uh’s part of the song she insisted that she did not do the crime. It is said that she committed adultery but she is not a murderer. She was accused of chopping her husband’s head while her lover held him down (based on the song) and she was then thrown to jail. Unlike the other girls in the song, she waved a white handkerchief in her part making her innocence clear but she was still hanged and was the first one to be hanged. 

    So yeah, I don’t have a reason to add Sucrose here but I guess her tagline ‘Harmless Sweetie’ can count. 

Ningguang as Velma aka Cicero!~

    “It wasn't until later when I was washing the blood off my hands I even knew they were dead”

    I originally wanted Signora for this but I have something bigger for Signora. In Velma’s part of the song, it was stated that Velma, her husband, and Velma’s sister travels around and performs acrobatic acts. One night while they are celebrating in Hotel Cicero, they run out of ice so Velma went out to get some only for her to come back with her husband cheating on her with her sister. Velma then killed them both and then pretended to have amnesia. 

    I don’t have a reason to cast Ningguang this and honestly I casted her as Velma because I want a La Signora and Ningguang showdown. Much like Ayaka, I don't think Ningguang will do the dirty deeds herself (That is Yelan’s job). We saw Ningguang fight when Liyue was in danger and then she fought again in her hangout quest. She only fights when it's threatening her or threatening her nation. 

Yae Miko as Mona aka Lipschitz

“He saw himself as alive and I saw him dead”

The last murderess that we have is Mona aka Lipschitz. Her part of the song tells that Lipschitz actually admitted to killing her boyfriend Al. She said that it was the artistic difference but  in reality she killed him because he cheated on her with different women and one man.     I don’t think Yae Miko will kill you though but she will make sure to scar you mentally (and maybe physically) for life if you ever wrong her. We know how loyal she is to Ei even though Ei locked herself and didn’t come out until things got cleared out. Aside from character, Yae’s loyalty is what makes her stand out and that loyalty is not something that you should test. 

La Signora as Roxie Hart

    La Signora my beloved. Like what I said in Ningguang’s part, I want to cast La Signora as Cicero but I think Roxie’s role will fit her more. Roxie was an aspiring actress who is a little too obsessed with fame and she is married to a dull-witted man named Amos. She frequently cheats on her husband and then a man named Fred Casely rolls in. Roxie hopes that having an affair with Casely will slowly raise her to stardom but in reality Casely was just using her. Enraged, she killed Casely and landed herself in jail. 

    Roxie then got herself a lawyer who taught her how to charm the public to get their sympathy. Roxie made a false story about Casely and then later when the media’s eyes were on her again, she pretended to be pregnant. 

    I casted La Signora here instead of Ningguang because I really think she fits the role. I won’t say La Signora is obsessed with anything but the same as Roxie, La Signora is focused on a goal even though it will get her hands dirty. Also, we know the Eleven Fatui Harbingers are based on La Commedia dell’arte right? In La Commedia dell’arte, La Signora is the wife of Pantalone and she is also a mistress to Pedroline. Also in La Commedia dell’arte, La Signora married Pantalone only for his wealth. Sounds very Roxie Hart to me. 

This concludes the casting for Chicago. I'm really sorry Anon if this is not something that you want. Once again, I still believe that this will look better drawn than written.

Taglist @chihawari / @zuri-feather @tinandabin / @eccedentesiast-sapphic

[bumblevoid]

i’ve decided to ramble a bit about an old fnaf au of mine in the hopes it’ll get me to remember it enough to write it ahaha

okok so it’s called Live or Laugh, and it’s a good ol’ michael posses lolbit au. i’ve seen a lot more of those popping up lately (for example i am currently binge reading laughing at tragedy (so good highly recommend i’m in ch. 6 so far)). thought i’d go ahead and go back to mine to get back into writing fnaf lol-

we’re going to ignore that i made this au (and most of them tbh) to be funky for my weird little multiverse things i write

so basically,, it is 1986. michael is sixteen, and lives with henry after he ran away from william about a week after elizabeth’s death. he gets a weird letter from will on his birthday, blah blah he’s doing sl. that’s what’s happening. this set-up is important. and like,, night four of sl is absolutely atrocious and i literally hacked the game to skip it because no. it’s really hard and if you’ve beat it please give me tips i wanna play night five and the custom nights legitimately but uH mike dies on night four for aforementioned reasons. he dies inside the springlock suit.

now if we ever got clarification on what that suit actually looks like or anything i haven’t seen it and am kindly ignoring it. but uh mike is dead and ends up in a springtrap like situation. he’s a dead dude stuck in the suit that killed him where his corpse still is.

oh yeah the suit is lolbit in this au. i coulda made him anything but yk i had an obsession with lolbit when i made this (stares at lolbit art print that lives on my desk).

henry reports mike as missing the next day, very concerned as a man who is taking care of a child that isn’t even his should be. and then william also goes missing, and he’s just. there. the next year, he decides to work as a night guard at his own restaurant under a fake name so he can see what all the rumors about the night shift are about. he works under the fake name fritz smith for six nights and one day. yeah i swapped jeremy and fritz’s worktime for this,, dw jeremy’s still important but on that day henry uh. becomes the bite of 87 victim in LoL and yk i’m learning a lot about writing brain damage incorrectly through playing jeremy in my motw campaign lol from here henry goes on to investigate the ghosts and pretty much just steals all of mike’s night guard roles.

and uh phone dude finds mike in like. a scrap heap that all the old sl stuff got thrown in after so many years. so lolbit just, shows up at fazbear’s fright on night 3 and henry’s just freaking out because “THERE’S ANOTHER???” and “OH MY GOD THAT’S WILLIAM HE WANTS TO KILL ME-”

yeah i still haven’t thought up how exactly they’re gonna reconnect i’ve got like,, three different scenarios running in my brain ahaha

so that’s like, the set-up of this au.

every time i sit down to write it i can’t decide if i want to start from fnaf 2 or fnaf 3. like the scene that my brain imagined that brought this whole au is in pizzeria sim so 3 would get me there faster, but also it’d be fun to write out henry being like “oh. oh my robots are haunted and want to murder me what is happeninG” so.

and then i’m like. do i write just henry’s pov or like. throw mike in there sometimes for flavor

[transfemoliorionsound]

okayokay this is gonna be. long. buckle up chucklefucks because i've been listening to this song for like two weeks <3

the meanings i've come up with will be next to the lyrics in parentheses and bolded :)

and i should probably mention to anyone who hasnt read this fic i'm gonna be talking about a Lot of dark stuff here, mostly death. a lot of death. this should probably be trigger tagged. and spoilers for the children of the stars series by Aria_Cinabun on ao3. anyway

Six legs, tippy tappy toes Climbing to the podium on Sunday (alyssa, foolish, and grian [3 people x 2 legs each = 6 legs] walking onto the stage, or "podium") Now, it remains a dream, a distant memory That itches my brain (it's literally a memory to tommy, and it 'itches' because Trauma)

Struck a nerve That's absurd (everyone keeps talking about the red planet's genocide and tommy's all like "Dudes. i Literally lived through it Why are we discussing it like this") I remember when I felt my house was made of sandpaper That's enough living rough for a lifetime (yknow. the whole famine and genocide thing. i'd say that counts as rough living lmao) Looking back for a pass (remembering idk how else to describe it lol)

Take it from me I've lost my mind (im pretty sure tommy feels at least a little messed up from. Everything.)

Six legs, tippy tappy toes Climbing to the podium on Sunday Now, it remains a dream, a distant memory That itches my brain Six legs, tippy tappy toes Climbing to the podium on Sunday Now, it remains a dream, a distant memory That itches my brain Now, it remains a dream, a distant memory That itches my brain

Let me lay it down for you It seems so simple (oh tommy must be talking about his past with someone for once! good for him!) I'm happy that I'm just under six feet, not six feet under (he said, you know, like a liar /ref) Where are your hands? No wonder (tommy's hand gets all fucked up and now he cant close the three fingers needed to make the sign of the children's rebellion. poetry...)

Take it from me I've lost my mind Take it from me I've lost my mind

Six legs, tippy tappy toes Climbing to the podium on Sunday Now, it remains a dream, a distant memory That itches my brain Now, it remains a dream, a distant memory That itches my brain

I feel stuck in a memory Scratching my itch, who would I be? I feel stuck in a memory Scratching my itch, who would I be? (this bit is the whole egg worst-memory-collective-flashback-thing that phil, techno, wilbur, and tommy do)

Six legs, running down the stairs None of them prepared for what they might see (when techno, ranboo, and tommy [again, 2 legs x 3 people] walk into that hospital room and see chroma there) Now there's another face, another name to sing I hope they're happy (welp. ranboo's dead now. thats no good.)

Six legs, tippy tappy toes Climbing to the podium on Sunday Now, it remains a dream, a distant memory That itches my brain Now, it remains a dream, a distant memory That itches my brain Now, it remains a dream, a distant memory That itches my brain

i told you it would be long lmao, feel free to disagree with me on any of these :)

-- tcr anon :P

YESSSSSS I’ve been listening to the song and I completely agree <3

this fic is really fucked up huh

[sixthemusicalextras]

Marilyn Caserta Q&A

@/marilyncaserta on Instagram, 20 December 2022

Some of the other questions that were asked:

Q: I'm so glad you're back! Did you get to choose Boleyn as your new queen? A: I'm happy to be back, too! Uh, so basically I ended up coming in for a couple of, like, callbacks - work sessions... uh, earlier this year. And when I came in the room, at one point I was doing the material and they just like, "like, is there any other queen that you, like, haven't done, that you, like, want to read for?" and I was just like, "I dunno, Boleyn?" And so they just started giving me Boleyn material, and... I actually, at some point in callbacks, went in for every queen, uh, but I guess the green girl just stuck. She stuck! And I'm happy. 'Cause she's cool. She's fun.

Q: How did you get the offer first to join Broadway as emergency then to join back as universal? A: Okay, this is a story! So, this past summer I had just finished doing, uh, this... beautiful, incredible production of West Side Story at Flat Rock Playhouse, uh, where I was playing Maria, so very different from Six. Uh, and when the show closed, I went home to Miami to like, be with my family for a bit.

Not even two weeks later, I get a phone call from my agent at like, 5pm on a Wednesday night and she was like, "Hey, girl!" [small laugh] She was like, "Hey, um, so, what are the chances you could be in New York at 10 AM to be in a rehearsal room for Six on Broadway?" And I was like, [stunned face] "Come again?" Um, and she was like, "Yeah!" She was like, "We could get you a flight," and I was like "Ye- Okay yeah!!" So I've, like, packed a bag. My amazing mom came with me, uh, and I flew to New York at 6am the next day. Stepped straight into it, put-in rehearsal on stage with those - those amazing OG alternates who were just — um, the alts were just so warm and welcoming, and- and- just, incredible with me that first day. Um, then, I was basically just in rehearsals that whole day to kinda learn the differences between what I'd known several months before, and, like, what was different on Broadway.

And then the next day I watched a put-in. And then the following day is Saturday night! Three hours before the show, stage management called me and was like, "So, are you ready to make your Broadway debut?" and I was like, [whispering with huge shrug and "oh ok" face] "I guess!" And so that was it! I made my Broadway debut that Saturday night as Catherine of Aragon, uh, and it was just— my mom (was) in the audience. Um, and it was... an adventure! It was an adventure. Uh, definitely a story that I will tell forever! Um, and then getting this universal alternate was like, an actual offer that came in and- yeah. [chuckling] I had some time.

Q: How does a universal alt work? Do you get scheduled time/dates with the Broadway and tour? A: So, yes. As universal alt, uh, a couple things could happen. I could either be, um, scheduled to join a company because there's like, a set vacation or someone knows they're gonna be out, or in case of emergency like if — like in this case, if someone, um, gets sick or has to have surgery or something, then I will just get called and flown out. But my home base is the Broadway theater, so that's where I report to, um, every day if I'm not out on one of the tours. Um... yeah!

Q: What is the hardest part of the show for you in your tracks? A: (...) The hardest part across the board is the learning the bams for each queen. If you've seen the show, you know what I'm talking about. Throughout the show, there are like... 20 — no, I'm exaggerating — but there's like, a lot of, like, "Boom! bum bum! Bum bum bum!"  There's like, bams? And all of them are choreographed. So because I cover four queens I have to learn [strikes a few poses] all those different bams for each queen. It's... [manically gesturing to her brain] it's. yeah.

Q: When you covered on Broadway in August, did you know you would be coming back later? A: Great question! (...) Um, I did not! It was like, quite an emergency situation. There were just Covid cases and, um, people dealing with injuries and things, so they just needed the backup coverage. I honestly did not expect to actually go on and it just worked out and I ended up going on three times in the two weeks. I was there! Um, there was a little talk around the theatre about maybe, "Oh, you'll be coming back! Yeah! Wink wink!", and — but at the time I was like, I cannot process. I just need to survive... these, uh, two weeks. And so... and it was just a couple months later that - or maybe just like, a month or two later that, uh, the official universal alternate offer came in! Cuh-razy.

Q: What is your favorite track you cover? A: [loving sigh] They're all special and wonderful for different reasons... um, but the first track I ever learned for the show was Parr, and she took me by surprise. Um, I really just fell in love with her, I fell in love with her song... um, with what she stands for; her role in the show. Um... and what's funny is I haven't really had a chance to kind of, uh, focus on her this time around! But I'm really excited to. Um, and I remember just absolutely loving her. So — [whispering] but I like 'em all! They're all fun! [not whispering] For different reasons.

[feykaplan]

[ asena keskinci, cis woman, she/her ] - was that feyza kaplan i saw by the lighthouse today? i heard that the twenty-six year old who has been in nightrest for her entire life and works as an owner of medusa has a reputation of being zealous, but also abrasive. they reside in low point & people in town usually associate them with always scrolling on her phone, the sound of stiletto heels on marble, having no filter & blood red lipstick. let’s hope the killer doesn’t go after them next.

trigger warnings: -

BASICS

full name: feyza kaplan 

nickname: fey, bitch

date of birth: december 14, 1996 (bc ofc she’s a sag)

gender: cis woman

pronouns: she/her

occupation: she calls herself a model but she is just as unemployed as azra tbh

birthplace: nightrest, massachusetts

sexuality: bisexual

height: 5′4″

BACKGROUND

the baby of the family, she’s the most spoiled

she’s dilara’s youngest sister and they’re honestly pretty close despite the fact that they live completely different lifestyles 

dilara’s a stay-at-home mother with two kids and fey literally cannot comprehend being a mother right now

she doesn’t even know if she wants kids like that’s so far out of her mind

she grew up in such a wealthy family, that she never really had to work for anything. whatever she wanted, she got tbh 

it’s so funny how her parents honestly think of her as some sort of sweetheart slash angel slash gift from above because she’s SO sweet around them

but that’s not the case with everyone else LMFAO the lady can be so out of pocket for no reason omfg 

however, she does value her family and her found family. she keeps her circle tight because she doesn’t trust people easily

there’s not really a reason for it tbh, she just wasn’t built that way 

good at a lot of things because she took so many lessons as a kid from ballet to violin to swimming to fencing to horseback riding but none of them really stuck as she grew older

will forever have respect for her older sisters even if they don’t share her mindset because she believes that sisters are and always will be forever like that bond can never be broken 

they could go weeks without speaking to each other but she knows she’ll always have them and that she can always depend on them

there is not a humble bone in this woman’s body like she’s rich and hot and you WILL know it

also gets really scared of commitment and runs when things get serious!! rip

PERSONALITY TRAITS

+ zealous, courageous, authentic

- abrasive, self-serving, judgmental

FUN FACTS

she doesn’t really have a filter. she’ll say whatever she thinks of in the moment without regard for your feelings

a natural redhead so fuck outta here asking her what hair dye she uses because she’s gonna yank your hair and tell you you deserve it 

all this lady has is the audacity because she can say the most out of pocket stuff and still be like 😇

can and will throw hands because she loves to fight especially if it’s to defend a friend

definitely became a cheerleader in high school solely because she knows she’d look cute in the uniform

she’s like the fun aunt tbh and is surprisingly good with kids

is also surprisingly clever, did really well in school and remembers a lot of things but she keeps that to herself tbh just files it away in a cabinet in her brain 

has a torch red (red chevrolet corvette) that’s her BABY. scratch her car in any way and she’ll scratch you right back across your face

loves to travel tbh she’s been here her whole life but she’s always going somewhere

everyday is fashion week in here like you will never see this lady in sweats like im sorry that’s just not happening 

is always up for a good time tbh especially in the bedroom 🤪

can’t cook to save her life

here to be messy xoxo

WANTED CONNECTIONS

ride or die azra my bby

childhood friends who stayed friends

childhood friends who drifted apart

high school sweetheart / first time

ex-friends

unexpected friends

good influence

drinking buddies

enemies

friends with benefits

ex-flings

flings

family friends

older brother figure

[dinoalexander]

YOUR MOMENT OF ZEN: THE WORLD FAMOUS SEMI-QUOTABLE 2022 QUOTEDOWN QUOTETACULAR

Ladies and gentlemen and multiforms across seven star systems. It is an honor, a privilege, and a pleasure to inform you that READER DISCRETION IS STRONGLY ADVISED.

With that said, the World-Famous Get Down Like a Hound Party ‘til You Puke Semi-Quotable 2022 Quotedown Quotetacular is live in 5… 4… 3… 2… 1… BEGUN!

—

“I’m not people, I’m your brother!” -C

“Now that Jeff Bezos owns Whole Foods, it’s more like two cans.” -Klauss

“F 2021 in its poop chute.” -Carl

“Kim, if I ever go into that drawer, always assume it’s for a fork.” -C, on a coworker’s junk drawer with plastic cutlery and… feminine hygiene products on full display.

“The 2020s need to go into time out and think about what they did.” -Q

“Chose the right week to choose my wife over trivia.” -Dave

“A bemusing coincidence that we lose Howard Hesseman on the same day the football team from Cincinnati does their best impression of a flock of turkeys being dropped from a helicopter...” -Justin

“… come on, girl. You saw ‘Set It Off’.” -C

“The groundhog saw his shadow, meaning six more weeks until the Times puts Wordle behind a paywall.” -Justin

“It Was a Thing a YouTube Dipshit Did With Too Much Money.” -Klauss

“I’M A BAAAAAAAAD MAAAAAAAAN!” -C on a Big Brain 12K

He's a D*ck - Gordon

You know I don't use that language - Bonnie

P*nis? - Gordon

No - Bonnie

Flapping piece of soft cartilage? - Gordon

.....- Bonnie

"Hey, didn't you used to be Antonio Brown?" -Justin

“Remember if you’re not having fun while you’re cooking, you’re just making food.” -Alvin Zhou

“The more I thought about swinging by Food Lion, grabbing a steak and a pack of risotto, the more I thought… I don’t want to cook, and even if I did, the kitchen is in no condition to be trifled with.” -C

“It’s not fitting in the hole” -Ken

“That’s what she said.” -Dan

“The group had a six-titty tour.” -Jonathan Oakes

“I’m stuck between namaste and kiss my ass.” -Craig Shoemaker

“The word of the day...is Thwomphammer.” -G

“They are trying to get Alabama in SO BAD. if Alabama gets in it's megacans.fuckyou.wav.” -J

“Y’all re-awoke a fire in me that will only make me stronger and I’m beyond excited to unleash that demon again to exponential levels on any OPP that lines up across from me next season.” -Eli Apple

“Hold on. Gordon’s plant is being naughty again.” -C

“Typed a 2,000 word reply to an email. Edited it down to 1,000 words. Edited it down to 500 words. Edited it down to 12 words. Hit send. Felt really good to type the 2,000 words, though.” -Kevin

“I’ve lost my appetite… and perhaps my will to live.” -C, on Q’s textcapades

“If it’s Beverly Crusher, we’re in trouble. If it’s Wesley Crusher, we may be okay.” -Benny

“When I am rich… you’re getting therapy, you’re getting therapy, you’re getting DOUBLE therapy. EVERYBODY’S HEALING.” -Deborah’s reel

“Man this is a Howie Mandel-hosted show on Netflix!” -Jay

“Before you guys put me in a chat, can you solve this problem by looking at policy?” -C

“Today I learned Måneskin isn’t the porn version of the 1980s classic Mannequin.” -Klauss

“Walk into the club like whaddup I got a oh god oh no wrong building I’m so sorry continue with your funeral god bless.” -TJ’s shirt

“I’ll try being nicer when you try being smarter.” -Tara

“Ta-DOW! … did that word just come out of my mouth?” -C

“We’re not going to beat Abraham Lincoln’s poop today.” -Megan

“I’m the blue one.” -Benny

“You don’ look like David Yost to me!” -C

“I’m gonna feed you. I don’t know you but I’m gonna feed you.” -?.. somebody

“Interesting fact: The world population will pass 8 billion sometime in the next few hours.” -Bruce

“Nick Cannon at it again?” -Jenny M

“Not gonna make it this year because I haven’t said anything particularly funny. My writers are on strike for better living conditions and improved food in the commissary. I told them they’d still have to share a room and they were gonna eat whatever their mother cooked.” -Daniel

“Uber driver:”I was a contestant on The Price is Right four years ago!”

Me: “Yeah? How’d you do?”

(Surprisingly long, uncomfortable silence)

Uber driver: “Bitch bid a dollar more.”” -Adam

“Irish nachos… 0/10. Would not recommend. I don’t think the cheese was even cheese. Might’ve been something from Flippy’s Gas ‘N Gulp.” -C

“And last night he was all “no I haven’t decided yet.” Even Brett Favre was like “this goddamned prick.”” -Greg, on Tom Brady’s retirement.

(Phlebotomist brings in labs when it’s time for us to go)

“… WHAT, YOU THINK YOU’RE BETTER THAN ME?!” -C

“Yay Albania!” -Tommy

“Use the toilet now or forever hold your pee.” -Frontier stewardess

“NERD SHIT!” -C & Phillip

“Tom Brady is the human version of Herpes.” -Blaze

“Oh CURSE WORD!” -C

“We have standards.” -Ken

“Finally!” -Benny

“I'm going to fail 30 times. It sounds like my dating life." -Klauss

“Rename the Washington Football Team the Gotham Rogues, because our stadium looks like Bane just left.” -Mark Ellis

“Give a man glitter, he glitters for a lifetime. Teach a man to glitter, he ALSO glitters for a lifetime. That's just how glitter works.” -Heather

“Shut the fuck up, Fay Vincent.” -Greg

“My computer locked up in computer jail. Come save a biiiiiiitch!” -Gena

“The big 69 ROFLMAO - Gordon Pepper Commissioner. Every game is nice.” -J

“Normal Québécois is dirty French. BOOK SAY SO.” -C

“You know what, sure the Vols lost this week...but you know who I feel bad for? America's fairweather college football fans...every one of them has had the staggering realization that, sadly, they are going to have to start rooting for Georgia...again.” -Brian

13: “Time loop.”

Yaz: “Time loop.”

Dan: “Groundhog Day.”

-from “Eve of the Daleks”

Paul Heyman: “Ladies and Gentlemen… my name is Paul Heyman, and I am the #Advocate for the…”

VRM: “QUARTERBACK FOR THE SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS…”

Paul Heyman: “… BRRRROCK…”

VRM: “PURDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“Carmelo Anthony… going from missing the lay-in to missing the play-in.” -Shaq

“You’re in their DMs. We’re in them. We are not the same.” -Tampax

“You’ve been hanging out with us too much.” -C

“Or not enough!” -Brian

“My next door neighbor told me her dogs Zeus and Xena had an “accidental breeding” and Xena is going to have puppies at the end of April. I’m thinking, you can’t name a dog Zeus and NOT expect him to impregnate all the bitches!” -Megan

“In case you're wondering if the automatic closed captioning on YouTube is good enough, please remember that it once thought I said, "I'm going to Popeyes while I pick up some great sex on the internet."

Obviously that's ridiculous. It was Raising Cane's.” -Wingo

“Charlie Cox plays Daredevil, you idiot!” -C to Jay as James May

“I laughed. LORD, HOW I LAUGHED.” -Liz

“First progress report (too tired to do anything last night) One hour in and three cars prime gives me a nice $120 profit. Now to run to the boys room and figure out what my next move is.” -C

“Royal flush.” -Carl

“Do you care to udder that again?” -Austin Rogers #callback

“I don’t drink Pumpkin Spice Latte before October 1. I don’t do my holiday shopping before Thanksgiving. I’m an American, dammit!” -Jay

“Autocorrect can be a real piece of shut.” -Doug

“Carl has the football.” -C

“Let us know when Carl has the sporting goods store.” -Jay

“Quisla what’s wrong? Do you have hemorrhoids? Do I have to pray for your ass?” -Adam

“Isn’t That Girl Lay Lay just That’s So Raven with artificial intelligence instead of magic psychic powers?” -C

“We are stumbling through this class like a flock of angry, feral geese, and that's ok!”

-TJ, describing how we're going to think about queer theory and that it's tough and scary and uncomfortable.

““Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'” “That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome.'” “Is it common?”“Well, It's Not Unusual.”” -Brian

“Q: What has 27 actors, three settings, two writers, and one plot? A: 671 Hallmark movies.” -Lollie

“I’m firing up my 43-inch…. TV.” -Jay, on 4/20

“Southwest is the worst of the American air carriers, except for all of the others.” -Scott

“So @Chico I have beef with Duke now.” -Kim

“‘On a scale of 1 to 10, what is your pain level?’ MOTHERFUCKING 15!” -Q

“Ummmm the United States also has a big glass pyramid... with a Bass Pro Shops in it.” -Danielle

“I don’t want to feel like king shit while washing my undies.” -C, pondering the cost of a new washer/dryer

“What the colonized Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon did I just watch?!” -Kim

“The league controls the narrative. NFL Network (Will Forte) is the cuck in the buttfucking between Roger Goodell (Laurence Fishburne) and Tom Brady (Kristin Wiig).” -Klauss

“TOILET OF HOLDING!” -Chico

“I remember this thing being a thing.” -Austin Rogers

TIM: "Well, the big sports news today is that Russell Wilson has been traded."

ME: "Is he the guy that they named the footballs after?"

TIM: "....No."

ME: "Then he must not have been that good."

And that's today in "Talking with Adam about Sports."

“First pregnancy: I’ve never felt more beautiful, thinking about the little miracle growing inside of me. It’s such a blessing! Second pregnancy: … never doing this again.” -Manuela Arbeláez

“My in-house normal is borderline illegal.” -C

“Lionel Goldbart and Barbara Lowe in one room. No wonder nobody had a tape of it, everyone’s TV exploded.” -Ben

“Scott Hanson is definitely the Ryan Seacrest to Andrew Siciliano’s Brian Dunkleman.” -Awful Announcing comment

“I expected to be disappointed. I was indeed disappointed.” -D

“This came up today. Sympathy is personally having experienced similar sucktitude such that you can have an emotional memory when someone else's circumstances suck. Empathy is recognizing that some else is going through something sucky. Compassion is one of the above PLUS feeling a desire to solve the suck for that other person. I have heard a few people say they have lost their empathy. I guarantee you haven't. You have just stopped trying to solve other people's lives; that is a growth step not a failure.” -Jenni

“My deep and abiding knowledge of pantyhose comes in handy again.” -Jay

“I’m not a fan of this lineup. It’s not great. Not great at all.” -C

“NOT GREAT, BOB!” -Benny

“Congratulations to Jimmy Garoppolo on replacing Dr Fauci as Aaron Rodgers’ least favorite Italian” - Richard Staff

Dave Pasch: "Is he aware that you played for the Boston Celtics?"

Bill Walton: "I have no idea. Did I?"

Pasch: "You did win Sixth Man of the Year."

Walton: "Which means I was Larry Bird's valet. Which means my job was to tell Larry what time the game started."

“I worked with Howard Hesseman a bit in the early 70s. I’m paraphrasing: “I bought a set of leather luggage today. It looks new now, but 25 years from now I’ll have a set of groovy luggage.” - Steve Martin

“Odell Beckham now has as many Super Bowl touchdowns as respected former NFL tight end Aaron Hernandez.

A great honor.” - Barry McCockiner

“Hey Shohei Ohtani is doing these amazing things.....and the Angels are losing again" - Gary Cohen

“Late night television is still selling nonstick cookware as if it’s 1975 and this is somehow a new invention.” - Tom Nichols

“Every G-D website I go to I click “Accept Cookies”-- and how many cookies have I actually received? Zero. Zero cookies.” - Rainn Wilson

"Tom Stone who looks an awful lot like Mike Scott of the Houston Astros. Maybe if he was scuffing the ring, he would have a better chance in some of these matches." - Peter Winston

“Recently heard a newscaster say, “Today is National Bring Your Dog to Work Day. Which is, of course, a made-up holiday.” And I thought, “Aren’t all holidays made-up?” - Gerard Mulligan

“My arts & entertainment Spidey-sense is going mad! But I swear I thought it was Phantom.” -Q

“Yeah I’m that bitch that cut you off. Fuck you and your mama.” -Mary on her personalized license plate

“I believe it was Gonzaga who said… “(makes gagging, gasping, and choking noises)”” -C

“That would be my fat ass.” -… somebody on TikTok

“If I haven't made the wall yet, I'm not going too, so I'm going to just spew unintelligible gibberish for the remainder of the day. This is no different than my regular programming.” -Erskine

"He should be Admiral Crunch by now. He's been delivering deliciousness for quite some time and surely is due for a promotion." -Howard

“Tent poles, everywhere. Tent poles.” -Shannon

“Turducken for everyone!” -Carl

“You’re too concentrated on listicle! Just answer the question!” -C

“It's more difficult to give away a couch than I remember!” -J. Keith

“Congratulations to Dusty Baker. His team can kiss my Halo fan rectum.” -JVG

“Challenging me for money in bowling is a good way for me to have all my food and gas paid for for my trip to Virginia.” -Gordon

“Behold, our all-purpose emergency preparedness medical contingency chest. Or as I like to call it… The doomsday box.” -C

“Or as I like to call it… The Oh-Shit Kit.” -Q

“Briar patch, me, some assembly required.” -David

“Why does every NFT look like a Digimon villain?” -Trevor Williams

“So when is the series finale of Twitter?” -BFG

“If people ask me why there was a strike that led to no postseason in 1994, I simply answer that with the same answer I have to “How did the Twins and Braves make the World Series in 1991?” “How and why did the Marlins beat the Indians in the 1997 World Series?” “How and why did Florida and Arizona get baseball teams while Washington didn’t?” and other logic-defying baseball questions from that decade, and that answer is simply… “Because it was the ’90s.”” -Ian

“The best worst team name of the night… “The Odds of Chico Showing Up for Trivia Again Are 3720 to 1”.” -Richard

“(running into the pub) Never tell me the odds!” -Chico

(Someone has a problem with Mayim Bialik referring to the Jeopardy! Round as “Single Jeopardy!”)

“As a great American would ask, “Why the BLEEP is this news?”” -Doug

“"We Paid A Freelancer To Say A Thing You Like ls Bad Because The Google/Facebook Duopoly Ate The Whole Digital Ad Market And Now Harvesting Hate Clicks Is The Only Viable Business Model For Online Media" That’s why.” -C

“"It's good it's good it's good that was good I just wanna do it one more time..." -The Andrew Garfield story, I love him so much

The milkshake take was our last of the day, btw, costume and hair depts were ready :)” -LMM

“Rorrie Travis. Beast Morphers Red Ranger. It’s funny you said you got replaced… by Barack Obama… because, uh… you kinda were.” -Russell Curry, Dino Fury Red and Obama lookalike.

“It’s so cold outside, people are going to Five Below just to warm up a bit.” -Matty

“Drinking a pink drink with sugar on the rim. I don’t know if you notice this but… I’m a girl.” -Q

“I know I am not supposed to attribute to malice what can easily be explained by stupidity. But that woman strikes me as the kind of person who is both malicious and stupid!“ -C

“Every time I watch the Winter Olympics, I just think how life used to be so miserable and boring in these cold countries that they invented a bunch of sports that were like "how can we find ways to DIE".” -Lynn

“Every machine is a smoke machine if you operate it wrong enough.” -Ken

“I have half a mind to start casually referring to the first round as Single Jeopardy! Just to trigger a bitch.” -C

“Hard drinks with people who want to get drunk!” -Megan quoting “Its a Wonderful Life”

“I’m gonna have to start drinking at 11.” -Jamie C. - talking about WrestleMania Day 1

“Somewhere Brett Favre is watching Aaron Rodgers and saying “This jackass…”” -C

“I've said it before and I'll say it again: DHL could fuck up the delivery of a shit from an asshole to the toilet bowl...” -Justin

“BE BETTER NOT BITTER YOU DUMB SON OF A BITCH.” -Sheiky

“Give me five. I have to pee.” -G

“To the white cat who decided to tear ass down the cross street leading to my home as my bumper moved menacingly close: 1) This is not "The Cube." Dwyane Wade is not going to give you nine lives to fritter away. Clearly a human is concerned about you. 2) Go home. You were lucky.” -Evil Travis

“I’ve done everything I could possibly do. WAIT! (Does some extra stuff) There. NOW I’ve done everything I could possibly do.” -C

“Rebuke them in the name of Black Jesus.” -Tricia, re: her travel tech agency

“If you still simp for that manchild (ed: you know the one. -C) please feel free to find some 4 letter words and go do them to yourself.” -Chelsea

“Whoa! Where in the world did that come from, Carmen Sandiego?” -C

“‘Netflix making a sequel to A Christmas Prince saved 2018.’ … well, someone had to.” -Rose McIver

"Those look like uteruses. In fact, that looks like what my uterus does to me every month." -Trina, on Activision Boxing

“Don’t do ho shit during the summer.” -C

“We can afford shit now we adults!” -Melissa

“Hmmm… Hot Pot Spot. Dibs on that for a pop-up restaurant name.” -C

“I was talking to the golf coach. He said they were going to Hawaii, but they couldn’t practice because of all the snow. I told them… ‘Gotta get up to par!’” -Sarah

“INSP goes full cowboy. Here’s the thing that gets me tho… “The textured hat represents salt-of-the-earth people with heart and soul, who have put in a hard day’s work.” You, marketing EVP Hayes Tauber, are full of shit.” -C

“Now is the winter of our discontent, made glorious summer by this Son of York...and now a brief word from Imperial margarine.” -Brian

Sonic Whammy: I have a question on the Covid tests...does it hurt?

Gordon: Well, sometimes, it's a light swab, and sometimes they jam it up your nose and take out a piece of your brain. In either case, for you it will feel exactly the same and you won't feel anything.

Chappy: “Little short until pay day.”

C: “I too am a little short until payday. Once payday hits I’ll still be short, but at least I can foot bills.”

“I learned that with game shows that if you want to get involved, you have to ask.” -TV’s Ryan Vickers

“The Jets will forever be the team that made Antonio Brown quit football.” -@TheJetPress

“It’s either streak or stink.” -C

“Remember, it's, "Goddamnit, JB."” -Ethan

“Remember, if you’re not having fun while playing trivia, you’re just answering questions.” -C, with apologies to Alvin Zhou

“I guess I wasn’t funny this year.” -Ken

—-

Thank you for being a friend. Travel down the road and back again… your heart is true, you’re a pal and a confidant.

Here’s to 2023. And as always, come together, just think of tomorrow.

[sarking]

I was tagged by @catelyngrant and I'm gonna tag @winged-mammal, @momentia, @naryrising, and anyone else who wants to do it.

last song: Lovecraft in Brooklyn by The Mountain Goats, which I had to listen to three times because I was immediately obsessed with how it fits Itchy Trigger Finger (L&O: SVU, EO, zombies) by snarkypants.

last show/series: Hmm. Probably The Babysitters Club. I didn't really want to watch the one where Mimi dies, so it took a while to get to. I also watched all of Oz except for the final episode because, hey, again with the character death.

currently watching: I'm trying to finish Derry Girls so I can cancel my Netflix subscription, but I'm also debating if I want to finish season two of Lupin, which is very good, but which requires use of my brain because it's in French. And there's SVU and Organized Crime, of course. And Major Crimes reruns on Saturday night/Sunday morning, but we're coming up on the episodes we don't watch.

favorite color: Yellow.

sweet, spicy, or savory: Sweet and spicy together.

currently reading: I bought Bone in the Throat by Anthony Bourdain a few months ago and read a couple chapters a few weeks ago. I was very impressed by the dialogue! I will now proceed to say this is what I'm reading for the next 3-5 years, at which point I will buy another book and do the same. I do slightly better with nonfiction.

what i'm working on: looool. I've got a contrarian bug up my ass, so last night I was like, "Yeah, yeah, EO breeding kink, but hear me out: it's Liv with a strap-on," so I've been trying to figure out exactly how that starts and whose point of view it is. But other than that:

a wonder for gods and mortal men, which was supposed to be a sexy little romp where Elliot and Olivia and Frank Donnelly played strip poker and she talked her way into the Brotherhood. Except it turns out it's an angsty thing about how Frank knows more about the past ten years of Olivia's life than Elliot does. ("We'd take care of a guy like that."//"I took care of him."//"I'm just saying, it's -- that? That's what brothers are for.")

Painted-White Unknown, wherein Elliot gets divorced, falls in love with the kitchen in an apartment he can't afford, and puppy-dog-eyes Olivia into being roommates, and I get stuck on important questions like, "Who is the first to have a wank?" and, "How the fuck am I supposed to figure out what order these things I want to write about happen in?" (Elizabeth bounces on the balls of her feet while he unlocks the apartment door, talking a mile a minute about a friend whose father lives in Midtown, in an apartment with a balcony inside a building with a concierge, and Elliot doesn't know what he was thinking, wishes Liv had told him to grow up and man up and go the hell back to Queens, where maybe he'd failed at being a husband, but he could at least salvage his dignity as a father.)

Polynices is Home from the Hunt, which cranks the daddy issues and season eight codependency up to eleven when the kinship analysis of Olivia's DNA reveals her father is... Joseph Stabler. (For a few short hours, she was his, bound to him from birth, their connection a documented, scientific truth. But he won't stop her from destroying the proof; he'll add the truth to the list of secrets he keeps for her.)

Rocks and Water, the one where Elliot and Olivia are just about dating when Olivia realizes she's pregnant from a one-night stand, and Elliot doesn't see the problem with this, but I have problems with him. Because, look, I need him to not take no for an answer. It is canon that he does not take no for an answer -- how many god damn times is he going to ask Liv out? -- but I cannot reconcile that with him being a god damn SVU detective in a way that allows me to get into his head enough to write one particular sentence that I've been stuck on for like six months. (It takes everything in him to step back. To pull his hand away from her stomach, not knowing if she'll ever let him touch her like that again.)

Chicago Is So 25 Years Ago, the SVU band AU that would probably just be better as a notfic, but I can't get it out of my head. (Her mother is addicted to the hot rush of cocaine. Olivia understands it when she's here, like this, arms overhead and audience screaming for another shimmy of her hips.)

currently obsessed with: I'm going through a bit of a houseplant thing, which is unfortunate for the poor plants that are going to die. Am I overwatering? Underwatering? Is there too much light? Not enough? When will Hammie stop digging them up? (Too much light was my last problem, which is hard to believe.)

[mtsilvermute]

Red's Journal - Entry 9/6

Full text:

I woke up this morning with a dream-song stuck in my head, some cacophonous concoction orchestrated by my restless mind. By the time I'd gathered the vocal strength to hum it, it had abandoned me, and I opted out of opening my mouth for the rest of the day in silent mourning. I mean, I wasn't exactly planning on unmuting during today's meetings anyway, but... you get it.

I took Charizard for a spin today. We've been flying very little over the past 6 months due to climatic craziness: There's only so much a Sunny Day can do to warm your bare face in a blizzard. But 1) I got a new pair of goggles, so my eyes don't sting like they used to, and 2) the adrenaline of flying home warms my body like nothing else. It's still a long flight, so I won't know my current comfort [level] with it until I've executed it, but I feel capable of doing so at the very least. (Also, people don't understand true joy until they've donned a pair of goggles. They're so cool - and these ones are so comfortable, I might just wear them around the house for the fun of it.)

Anyway, Johto Conference - or I guess they're rebranding to "Silver Conference" - is happening soon. Exciting. I don't know how to properly convey sarcasm in handwriting so let me see. 氵Exciting! Their planning commission is as all over the place as it always is and I don't really have the brain power to help them iron out their issues. . . But they're tipping me for the time, so I can't really say no. Today we met virtually and had the typical Johto conversation of "oh shit we have an event in six months, what're we gonna do?" And it was bad. Chuck kept belting out ideas and Morty looked like he'd seen a ghost the whole way through. I think Morty, Falkner, and Jasmine feel pretty strong-armed into playing support roles given how dominating Pryce, Chuck, and (obviously) Lance can be, but I think their expertise is just as valuable as the latter's. In any case, would you be surprised if I told you that I kept my mouth shut the whole time?

They have another meeting scheduled next week and I hope by then they have a more concrete plan of how to accommodate a likely increased attendance size this year. If they don't, I'll step in and propose a plan myself. I really don't want to see the logistics of this plan fall through.

The last thing today was the challenger evaluation. (It was technically the second thing from today, but who's counting?) This kid is about 16, so on the older side of things, and he's clearly indebted to Unovan theorycrafting, sporting a Corviknight AND Slowbro for maximum defensive power. I wouldn't be surprised if those two just tanked the entire League for him. I highly doubt he'll have any issues coming up the mountain, and I highly doubt I'll have any issues beating him back down it. I don't remember what comments I provided for the evaluation today, but I think they were something like "he'll be in good hands."

In any case, I'm excited to be home. I actually just got up to pace around cause I was so excited, haha. And I admit that I'm petering out, so I should retreat to my sheets and go for another academic deep dive. Unova's doing some intriguing things in their journals nowadays. . .

I have nothing profound with which to fill these pages anymore.

Good night, journal. May tomorrow bring joys as great as you.

[harryspet]

his to claim | bucky barnes

[Warnings] dark!alpha!bucky barnes x omega!reader, a/b/o dynamics, werewolf au, fury!reader, monica is a fury too, sam wilson x monica, virgin!innocent!reader, hint of ddlg dynamic, noncon sex, noncon marking, soulmates au, oral sex (female recieving), kidnapping

A/N: enjoy this long (long for me at least) one-shot! 

In which you befriend a lonely Alpha.

taglist: @cherienymphe @lovelynerdytraveler @buckysbunny @hollandsdream @micki-smiles @buckybarnesplumwhore @arts-ismything​ @saharzek @what-is-your-wish @brattypeony @hermayone @buckysugar @mischiefmanaged011​ @visintaes​  @watercoolerpaint​ @disaster-rose​ @slutforsebstan

main masterlist

word count: 5.8k 

Sam knew Bucky was in one of his moods. One of his moods where he’d disappear for five days, not give a clue to where he was going, and return covered in blood. Although Bucky’s closest friend and Beta to his pack, Sam, was getting married this week, Bucky was stuck in his ways. Bucky knew that a wedding meant that another pack would be invading his land, filling the pack house with strangers, and two packs meant there would be two Alphas. Although he respected Alpha Fury, Bucky wasn’t the type to get along nicely with others, especially other Alphas. 

It was one in the morning when the white wolf passed through the tree line, the packhouse coming into view. The three-story cabin fit many of the high-ranking families and was the center of most pack activities. Meetings, gatherings, and celebrations for the Winter’s Shield pack were all held here. 

Bucky shifted, each one of his bones cracking roughly back into place as if they’d forgotten they were half-human. As he expected, there was a pair of shorts waiting for him on the porch. Nat always hated when he’d show up naked in the middle of the night. This is my house, he’d say. Save it for your mate, she’d say back. Bucky would always scoff at that. Not many Alphas make it to their thirties without a mate and Bucky was quite willing to keep his single streak going. 

The house was heated, comforting him after losing the warmth of his coat. Still, he was covered in elk blood and could use a shower along with a twelve-hour nap. He walked towards the winding stairs, only to hear rumbling in the kitchen, and deciding to investigate. He was the only night owl around here, or at least that’s what he thought. 

He could already smell that there were foreigners around and prayed this week would go by fast. Flicking on the kitchen light, he found you sitting on the island counter. You looked up from your carton of chocolate ice cream with wide eyes. He expected you to freak out at the sight of him but it seemed you were more embarrassed on your behalf rather than frightened. 

“Sorry … I was just gonna have one bowl and then that turned into two. And then  …” You emphasized the spoon that was sitting in the mostly eaten carton. Omega, his wolf said. There was a strange omega sitting on his kitchen counter in oversized pajamas and hair rollers. His eyes fell to something sitting behind her which she instantly pushed further behind her back in panic, “There’s a little left if you want some.”

“Who are you?” Bucky asked, a little more harshly than he intended. 

“Y/N,” You answered, a bit flustered, “I’m Monica’s sister … also her maid of honor. I know there isn’t usually a maid of honor in our wedding ceremonies but there’s always a maid of honor in the movies. I’m gonna throw her such a cool bachelorette party, Natasha said we could have it in the living room-”

Bucky felt suffocated by your excitement. Feeling overwhelmed by the bright lights and whatever his wolf was feeling for you, he said, “Stop,” He raised a hand, confused by your comfortableness with the situation. You talked to him, an Alpha, so casually and you didn’t seem at all frightened by his bloody appearance,  “Do you know who I am?”’

“Alpha Barnes,” You hopped down from the counter, making sure to keep whatever you were hiding behind your back, “Sam said you’d be back at some point. They made a bet on whether or not you’d get back before or after my dad left. Everyone said you’d skip the wedding.” 

Alpha Fury’s second daughter. An Omega. An annoying, little, ice-cream stealing Omega. 

“Well here I am,” Bucky stepped closer to you and was surprised when you didn’t even blink at that. An omega raised by an Alpha, you were something Bucky had never encountered, “Why are you raiding my kitchen so late at night, Omega.”

There was a flash of sadness in your eyes, “I had a nightmare … ice cream always makes me feel better. You ever get nightmares, Alpha Barnes?” Bucky’s brows furrowed. 

“No,” Bucky spoke coldy, confused about what was pulling him closer to you. 

“Nuh-uh, no way,” Bucky thought you were challenging him but there was an innocent smile on your face, “My Dad said you’ve fought in lots of battles, challenged a lot of other Alphas, you must see a lot of terrible stuff. You never even get a little bit scared?”

Bucky ignored your pressing question, the look on his face frustrated, “What’s behind your back?”

“Uhm … what’s behind yours?” You tried distracting him but Bucky knew there was nothing behind him. 

“Show me,” He commanded, knowing that Omega inside of you wouldn’t want to disobey him. 

You huffed. 

Stupid alphas, Bucky heard your voice but your lips didn’t move. 

You pulled an old, stuffed bear from behind your back, “It’s Mr. Cuddlebear …. he also helps with the nightmares,” In his eyes, you were definitely too old to have a stuffed animal but his wolf found it endearing. He hated that, “You never got scared even when you were a little? No monsters under the bed? Boogeyman in the closet?”

“It’s late,” Bucky changed the subject, “I’m sure we have a long week ahead of us. I’d take … that-”

“Mr. Cuddlebear,” You interrupted, reminding him of your teddy bear’s name. 

“Go to bed, little wolf.”

Stupid Alpha voice. 

You rolled your eyes as your feet began to move before your brain began to register, “Goodnight, Alpha Barnes,” You left the kitchen, carrying the teddy bear with you, “Sleep tight, don’t let the vampires bite.” He heard your little giggle as you climbed up the stairs. 

Bucky placed his hands on the counter, staring at the ice cream. Did he ever have nightmares? No one had ever asked him that before. 

Bucky cleaned up nice, you thought as you looked at him across the room. No one expected him to even come, let alone put on a nice suit jacket. The rehearsal dinner was loud with both Winter’s Shield and the Daystar pack mingling together for the first time. Sam seemed to be having the time of his life, your father was being much lighter than usual, and Monica was …. well, Monica. 

You were talking with a bunch of people, giving out the sugar cookies you’d made when you made eye contact with him. He drank from his glass of wine and you noticed he was standing with Sam and Monica. She was in the prettiest yellow dress and you could tell Sam was happy to find a mate so beautiful. 

You’d looked away, focusing on meeting everyone when Monica started to walk towards you. 

“Stay away from him, please,” She stepped in front of you.

“Stay away from who?”

“Alpha Barnes,” She spoke lowly. 

“He’ll be your Alpha soon, you know.”

“You don’t think I know that?”

“I already met him, Monica,” You smiled, “He was nice to me in like a weird, cold way.”

She shook her head, your words seeming to worry her more, “That’s what I’m worried about,” She grabbed your hand, leading you away to one of the tables in the corner. You had a plate of sugar cookies in your hands, some you’d made especially for the party to give out, “You have a tendency to make people like you but you don’t want him to like you, trust me. All that stuff Daddy taught us still stands, it doesn’t matter that we know him now. So just sit here, and do nothing, please.”

“But what about my cookies? I have to give them out!” You whined as she fenced you in, forcing you to sit down.

“I’ll do it,” She smiled, taking the plate from your hands, “You’ve socialized enough I think so just … relax.”

“But-” She was already walking away. You loved your sister, she was your best friend, but she was still a Beta. She had no idea what it was like to be you, surrounded by jerks who thought they were better than you. Maybe that’s why you liked talking with people so much, to prove that maybe you were more fragile than them but you weren’t invisible. Right now, you felt invisible. 

You could only watch everyone have fun without you for so long and you got out of the seat about ten minutes later. You left the large white tent, where it was much cooler, and you didn’t mind being alone as much. 

You told yourself to cheer up, trying not to frown. A week from now, you’ll be home, you’ll be on house arrest again but without Monica. You were going to savor this small vacation no matter the obstacles. 

Bucky found you outside sitting in the grass as you stared up at the moon. He got that feeling again, his wolf wanting to be closer to yours, and wished he felt differently. You looked back at him as you felt him approaching, and you heard Monica’s voice in your head telling you to stay away. 

“Did you try my cookies?” Your lips pulled into a smile that, like everything about you, confused him. 

“I didn’t … I watched Sam eat six of them though,” The tall Alpha responded, sticking his hands into his pants pocket. 

“Watching your perfect, Alpha-physique?”

Bucky actually felt the need to smile though he kept himself controlled, “Something of that nature, yes.”

“Awe, a few cookies won’t hurt,” You stood up from the ground, dusting off your dress. Bucky noticed your mary jane’s and the little butterfly clips in your curls, “Let me guess, you only prey on innocent animals.”

The Alpha smirked, “I’ll make sure to try your cookies next time, little wolf.”

“Sadly, there won’t be a next time,” You stepped past him and he followed after you, as you walked towards the tree line, “My father will probably find me a mate that lives across the country so he doesn’t have to deal with me.”

“Ah, that’s right,” Both Monica and Fury wanted to make it clear to him that you were practically claimed. You didn’t know yet but Peter Parker of the Stark pack was waiting for you. Fury was planning a quick, summer wedding, “I can’t imagine the poor fool who will have to deal with your kitchen raids and Mr. Cuddlebear.”

You grinned, “You remembered his name?” Bucky remembered and he’d been watching you ever since that late night, “I thought you might laugh at me, Monica does.”

Bucky was quiet for a long moment and, as you looked at him, it seemed that his mind was racing with thoughts, “I’ve had nightmares before,” He stated and you waited for him to elaborate. 

“What happened in them?” You prodded softly. 

Another long pause, “When was the last time you shifted?”

You figured that’s all you were going to get out of him. You thought for a moment, “I can’t even remember. Not since the winter solstice at least.”

“Let’s go on a run,” Bucky said, not waiting for you to agree. He picked up his pace, walking past the tree line and expecting you to follow. You hurried after him, your heart suddenly beginning to pound in your chest. 

“Alpha Bucky, Monica will kill me. Literally. She threw a hairdryer at me once,” You said, sounding panicked, though you got deeper and deeper into the woods, “And what about my dress?”

He turned around suddenly and you almost ran into his broad chest, “Take it off,” He ordered. Your hand instinctively reached up to the strap and you panicked, “Go behind a tree, I mean.”

“But Monica-”

“You’re an adult, right?”

You shrugged, “I try to be-”

“Then you can decide. Besides that, I’ll be Monica’s Alpha soon enough.”

You imagined her throwing a fit but you still conceded, walking to find a tree to hide behind, “It might take me a second, I think I’m a shy shifter.”

“Take your time, little wolf,” His words were more comforting than you expected. 

You stripped from your clothes behind the tree, trying not to imagine what Monica would think of you. An unmated female getting naked in the forest with an unmated male in the middle of the forest? There were all types of moral codes you had to be breaking. 

Standing in the cold, you shut your eyes tightly. Monica taught you the counting method when you were younger. You tried to tune out the rest of your thoughts, focusing on the nature around you, as you counted down from ten over and over again. It was instinct after that, the Moon Goddess taking over and unleashing your inner wolf. You didn’t feel the pain as your bones molded into their new positions and you became the second version of yourself. 

When you stepped from behind the tree, the white wolf was towering over your small, grey figure. 

His head tilted down towards you and you could already tell his wolf wanted to be more friendly with you than his human self. He smelled you, biting at your neck but you were even more playful in wolf form. You walked between his legs, confusing him, until you ran in the opposite direction. He chased after you and you didn’t expect to outrun him but you planned to give him a run for his money. 

He couldn’t sleep with you so close by. He tried going on another run to clear his head but his mind was full with you. He’d lived a long life yet this feeling in his soul was brand new. Never had Bucky desired anyone to be anything but a casual fling. His wolf wanted more than to just conquer you which was territory Bucky found hard to navigate. What would it say for his legacy if he took an Omega as his mate? How empty would he feel if he let you go tomorrow? What relationships would he throw away in order to claim you as his?

Covered in sweat, he pulled the sheets from his body, sitting up in his bed. 

Nightmare, his wolf echoed in his mind. Bucky rubbed his temples. That wasn’t a nightmare to him, he was just an overthinking mess. He was going to ignore that feeling until he sensed something was truly wrong. 

She dreams of pain and suffering.  

Go to her. 

Bucky stood up from his bed, filing out of his room, and down the long hallways of the packhouse. He pressed his ear to your door, his hand lightly touching the doorknob. He heard soft whimpers from the inside and, for a moment, he resisted you. He would turn around and try to go back to sleep. Instead, his wolf took control. 

Bucky opened the door, your whimpering continuing and you stirred although it wasn’t because of him. He closed the door gently, moving towards your bed, crossing a boundary that he was sure would be frowned upon. Your cheeks were stained with tears and you seemed to be grabbing Mr. Cuddlebear for dear life. 

He sat carefully at the edge of the bed, reaching out to touch you, “Y/N,” He whispered, trying to suppress the anger that he felt over the pain you were in. 

“No, no,” You whispered over and over again. 

“Little wolf,” He whispered again, his hand on your arm. The Alpha’s touch startled you out of your sleep and your eyes were wide with fear as you came back to consciousness. You weren’t sure why he was in your room or why your nightmares were getting so bad, “It’s just a bad dream-”

You sat up from your position and wrapped your arms around the Alpha. He seemed to freeze at your touch but you hugged him tighter for comfort. He wrapped his arms around you, his hand tentatively rubbing at your back and you heavily breathed against his chest. 

“I’m sorry, I just … you were crying.”

“I-I woke you up?”

“No,” Bucky lied, “I was just walking by and I heard you.”

“Alpha Bucky?”

“Yes?”

“Everything’s going to change tomorrow. My wolf, she senses something bad coming, and she’s scared.”

Bucky stiffened again, his wolf beginning to worry.  “Something bad? What do you mean?”

“I don’t know but the dreams are getting worse.”

“What do you see in your dreams?”

“I’m … I’m walking in his field, there’s so much sunshine and flowers a-and I’m walking towards the sun. I’m walking and walking and I’m happy and then I just start to sink into the ground. And I’m drowning and it feels like someone is holding me, pulling down further and further. I can’t breathe and there’s just this darkness a-and I-I-”

“Hey, hey,” He shushed you, sensing you were about to hyperventilate,  “It’s okay. Nothing is going to take you away. No one, do you understand?”

He felt you nodding and he grabbed you tighter, deciding he was going to hold you for as long as you needed him to. 

“I didn’t tell you because of this reason-”

The pen in Bucky’s hand snapped in half and his fists balled up tightly, “Sam, today is your wedding, I understand that but this is my territory. I decide who comes in and out of it. That’s final.”

“They’re already here-”

“Then send them away. Fury is trying to push me and this is the final straw.”

“He’s already married the first daughter off, he’s just trying to do the same with Y/N. And he knows that this is a chance for three alphas to sit down and discuss what we’re going to do about the rogue situation.”

Feeling that he was drawing blood from clenching his fist so hard, he moved them under his desk.  “I can handle problems that concern my own pack. Tony is even more arrogant than Fury, we’ll never agree.”

“You have to at least try, Alpha,” Sam sighed, “You haven’t found one woman you’d consider having little Buckys with. Maybe Stark will bring someone that will pique your interest?”

Bucky ignored him, “When Stark arrives-” Sam let out a triumphant cheer, “-Bring him and Fury to my office. I won’t need you here, I’m sure you’ll have much to prepare for this evening.”

“You won't regret this.”

Bucky followed Peter’s line of sight. There you were, standing in a beautiful periwinkle dress, waiting for your sister to walk down the aisle and join an anxious Sam. The birds were singing, a violin was being played, and everyone was collectively ready to celebrate the joyous moment. Everyone except Bucky.

Of course, Peter wanted to look at you, a beautiful creature, an unmated female, he'd be lucky to call you his mate. He was young like you, he'd be able to get all your references, keep up with your energetic ramblings, you'd get to go far away from your father and you'd be so happy. You'd forget all about Monica. You’d forget all about the week you spend in Winter’s Shield. 

The wedding went off without a hitch and Bucky watched you have the time of your life. Peter targeted you, of course, that was the entire reason was her, to woo you and it was working. You were dancing together, laughing when Peter made a silly misstep.

Bucky shooed away every Stark girl who tried to approach him, even denying a Beta, until he was standing alone in the corner. 

The festivities calmed down late into the night, you had to say goodbye to Peter, Monica was whisked away to a “private cabin” and everyone else returned to their rooms. Your father reminded you to pack your things as you’d be leaving early in the morning. 

Looking at Mr. Cuddlebear sitting on your bed, you were reminded of the events of last night. You didn’t expect so much kindness from the cold Alpha but, as Monica warned you, he seemed to like you. You still thought she was being dramatic with her warning and that she would grow to like her new Alpha. 

You never did really get to thank him and he also never tried your cookies. You had an amazing idea and late-night baking always led to amazing things. 

Bucky was pacing the length of his room when there was a knock at his door. His wolf knew instantly that it was with you like the Moon Goddess had answered his prayers. He was fighting every natural urge in his body and he planned to hide away until everyone was gone tomorrow. Now, he had no idea what he was going to do. 

When Bucky opened the door, you were standing with a plate of cookies and a glass of milk, and a kind smile on your face, “A thank you for last night,” You offered, “I figured you’d like a plain chocolate chip cookie. I’m not sure though-”

“Come in,” Bucky said quickly, closing the door behind you. You noted that he was still wearing his dress pants though he was only wearing a sleeveless undershirt at his top. Though you’d seen him shirtless before, this time felt more intimate. 

“Try one,” You insisted, “Please.”

Bucky was hesitant, his diet not usually including such human pleasures, but he was quite surprised with the first bite. You seemed nervous, expecting a good reaction which Bucky found adorable, “They’re good,” Bucky nodded, “I mean, they’re great. Here, come sit down.”

As you took a seat on the edge of the giant bed, Bucky grabbed the glass and plate from your hands, moving to set it on the nightstand, “Your room is … big.”

You grew a bit nervous as the bed dipped beside you and Bucky took a seat. You always felt his strong energy, even last night, but now it was a bit overpowering. You blamed it on the approaching full moon and tried to ignore it, “You don’t like it?”

“No, no, I like it. It’s … simple,” Bucky tried his best to register your mood. Were you nervous? That was the last feeling he expected to feel from you. You were always rambling or talking about something you were annoyingly passionate about. 

“What’s wrong?” Bucky asked, his head turned to you. 

You didn’t answer him, “What do you know about the Stark pack?”

Bucky’s hands folded together and his jaw clenched as reality set in, “I sense you know of your father’s plans.”

“I had a suspicion,” You sighed.

“And … you’re unhappy with his decision?” 

You were quiet for a moment, “What if it isn’t a good idea?”

“I’m sure … I’m sure your father wouldn’t lead you astray. The man infuriates me but he’s usually quite wise …”

“You’re right …” You said, staring back at the Alpha who seemed to be experiencing a whirlwind of emotions behind his eyes, “My nightmares, they just make me nervous for the future-”

“You could stay,” Bucky stated quickly, sure of himself. His hand touched your thigh and your eyes began to widen, “With me, I mean. And, of course, Monica would be here too.”

You swallowed the lump in your throat, “You don’t mean … I’m an Omega, Alpha Bucky.”

A thin smile pulled at his lips, “I’ve noticed that, yes. Believe me, my offer does not come from a place of ignorance. I’ve been thinking about this, I promise, and it could be good for both of us. You could stay near your sister and I could …”

It took everything in you to push away from that bed, “My Dad would be livid. Beyond livid, actually. And Peter. The treaty. It would throw everything off balance, Alpha Bucky.” He stood, his shadow draping over you as you took a hesitant step back. 

“Who needs balance if there is a connection here. My wolf feels yours, they’re drawn to each other, I know you can sense that.”

“Bucky-”

“Listen, little wolf, please,” He insisted, stepping closer, “I’ve never been sure before, not in my entire life. This, I am sure about.”

You shook your head, “Well, I am not,” Bucky’s eyes seemed to darken, “I like you and there’s a connection, yes, but as my father’s daughter, I have responsibilities. I respect him too much to go behind his back. You have to understand that.” 

“You came here tonight. That night in the forest. You didn’t know it but you called me to your room last night. What am I supposed to make of your advances-”

“Advances? I thought you were a friend-”

“Stop,” He commanded, leaving your body frigid from the power of his voice, “Don’t move.”

He took your face into his hands and you whimpered, “Bucky, I gave you the wrong impression.”

“No, you may not know it yet but this is what your wolf wants. We’re animals, underneath it all, and there’s only so much we can control our own desires,” You pushed against his chest when he smashed his lips on yours. You bit down on your bottom lip, wishing your feet would push you further away from him. When he pulled away, he was grinning, blood on his lips, “Biting, huh? I’m happy to play along with your game.”

You opened your mouth but he was too quick, “Don’t scream, little wolf. The screaming is the next part.”

His hands move to your waist, pulling you into his muscular body. He kissed you again, kissing the sides of your mouth and chin.  Your hands pulled into small fists as he held you, his touch sending foreign feelings through your body. You felt an overwhelming warmth, more than his body heat, but the warmth of the bond his own wolf felt for yours. His mouth met with your neck and that's when your lips parted and moans escaped your lips. 

“Please,” Was all you could manage. “Please stop.”

Your mouth was saying one thing but it was clear to him that you enjoyed his touch, “Don’t think of me like the bad guy, Omega. When I’m your Alpha, I won’t be like Fury. I’ll let you be who you are, you won’t be just an object to pawn off for power. You’ll be my Omega but you’ll stand beside me, not behind. You’ll be happy with me. I can take the nightmares aways, remember?”

“No, no,” You resisted, knowing deep down that he was that darkness in your dream. You were right to be scared but you hadn’t suspected that you should be scared of me, “M-My father will challenge you a-and you’ll lose any respect you once had.”

He grabbed you roughly by your chin, his forehead pressed against yours as he held your body, “I’ve never cared much for puritanical pack society … why should I care now, Omega?”

You sniffled, “Because you care about me?”

“You’re young, little wolf. I don’t expect you to fully understand but it's because I care that I have to do this. It will only hurt for a little while, okay?” He wasn’t asking for permission and as he pulled his face from yours, his eyes went black, and you were already screaming as his sharp canines protruded from his mouth. 

He pulled your head to the side, sinking his teeth into your shoulder. As you collapsed, he kept you in his arms, and you both went down to your knees. It was an indescribable pain, paralyzing, until it wasn’t. Your vision blurred as it felt like the strongest drug rushed through your body. It was not the way you imagined you’d be marked, you surely weren’t in love, and the man who’d claimed you was unhinged. 

As you slipped into the darkness, you heard someone screaming your name. You felt a little hope that you’d be saved but you couldn’t hold on longer. 

You grabbed your shoulder instantly as your eyes shot open, roughly pulling yourself from slumber. You winced, your hand running over the bandaged skin, as you realized the magnitude of the situation. Taking a moment to look around your surroundings, you found that you were somewhere that you didn’t recognize. 

It was a small, one-room cabin, the living room, kitchen and the bed you were on were all in the same room. A tear slipped down your face as you threw your legs over the side of the bed. Your legs were bare, your bridesmaid dress gone, and a large t-shirt was the only thing that you were wearing. He’d undressed you all the way and had no problem with it, probably due to the fact that he’d bonded you together for life. 

He’d even made sure to bring Mr. Cuddlebear along though you weren’t sure anything could calm you now. 

As you were about to push yourself off the bed, the cabin door opened, and a shirtless, freshly-shifted Bucky appeared. He took one look at you and his jaw clenched. 

“W-Where are we?”

“Couple miles off of my territory,” He stated, shutting the door and walking to the kitchen. As he turned his back, you got up from the bed, moving cautiously towards the fireplace which was closer to the door, “So no one can bother us.”

“My Father, where is he? How did you … without him knowing …” 

He reached into the cabinet, grabbing a glass to fill with tap water. You were eyeing the door, wondering if he was just pretending to be distracted by his task, “Oh, he knew,” Bucky chuckled, “He was livid, like you said, but he couldn’t do anything. He can’t touch you anymore now that you’re bitten. No one can.”

Your face fell, “But-” Bucky turned around and it hit you. The bite reshaped your chemistry and now any Alpha wouldn’t be able to get near you until you were fully mated. Alpha Fury wasn’t coming for you. 

But Monica-

“Monica isn’t coming either, little wolf. Remember, I’m her Alpha now too,” Bucky moved forward, the glass in hand, “You should drink, you lost a good amount of blood.”

You stepped to the side, moving away as he approached, “You knew you’d only hurt me, even when I thought you were my friend.”

His lips pressed into a thin line as he moved closer, “I know that’s how you feel now-” You climbed onto the couch and over it as he moved closer, “Y/N, come here. Now.” You eyed the door, now closer to it than he was. 

“You’re a monster.”

“Little mate, if you continue to not listen to me, I’m going to come over there, throw you over my shoulder, and tie you down to that bed for the next few days because that's just the type of mood I’m in right now.”

“I’ll never. Be. Your mate-”

 The sound of breaking glass made you jump and you watched the cup crumble in his grasp. Almost falling, you made a sprint for the door. As soon as you’d gotten it open, a hand was above you, slamming it closed. He grabbed you by the waist, pulling you back towards the bed. 

He pushed you down onto it, making sure not to put any pressure on your bite, before climbing on top of you. He pinned down your kicking legs, saying, “You’ll hurt yourself, little mate,” He tried to console you, shushing you as you began to whimper, “Please don’t fight it anymore…” But you panicked even more as he lifted your shirt. 

He gripped your thighs tightly, pulling your exposed sex to his mouth. One hand you could barely move because of the bite, the other gripped the comforter tightly, as he kissed between your thighs. Of course you’d never been touched so Bucky would be as gentle as he could manage. He also knew that your new bite would heighten every feeling he gave you and it wasn’t long before you’d be a mewling mess. 

You thought that maybe you’d gone into heat, that’s why his touch felt so good, but you were very wrong. You could only imagine what it would feel like when your body craved to be pregnant. He cooled your fire, and within thirty seconds you were already having your first orgasm. He kept his mouth on you as you rode out the pleasure, not letting you take any breaks as he began to kiss up your body, moving the shirt further and further up your body. 

He kissed over your mark which sent waves of pleasure through you, making him growl, “You’re mine, little mate,” Then he kissed your lips as you moaned against them. As he positioned himself between your legs, you knew what was coming. 

“Bucky, please. I-I’m scared.”

“It’ll hurt just for a little while,” He assured you, reaching above you to grab Mr. Cuddlebear, “Hold on to your bear, little wolf.”

You held the stuffed bear tightly against your chest as he positioned himself at your entrance. You could feel how big he was even as you tried to avoid eye contact with him. Looking away didn’t last long as he grabbed your chin, making sure he could see your face as he slid each inch inside of you. He stretched you open, taking the air from your lungs, as you tried to adjust to the feeling. 

“That’s it, I’ve got you,” He grunted, leaning down to kiss your chin. He’d slowly pull in and out of you, letting you get used to him. He kissed over your mark again, easing the pain, and turning your whimpers into moans, “Good girl, my good girl.”

“Please,” You started to wish for him to push you over the edge, to give you another orgasm, not for him to let you go. He kissed you, using his hand to rub your sensitive bulb as he pushed in and out of you, “Please, please - ah!”

Your back arched and your senses were delighted as an orgasm ripped through you. He didn’t slow, speeding up his pace, as he went back to kissing over your bite. He reached below you, pulling you further down onto his member. He was animalistic, every natural instinct in his body telling him to pleasure you until you couldn’t walk anymore and to round your belly. 

You came again, this time at the same time as him, your bodies melting together as he released within you. As he laid against you, catching his breath, you could see the setting sun shining through the window. He wasn’t anything like you feared and maybe that's why you trusted him so easily.

“You’ll be happy with me one day, I promise,” He kissed your wet cheeks. 

Part of you hoped you could trust him again because, after all, that mark was forever.

[reidingmelodies]

Finders Keepers

A/N:  It’s been ages since I’ve written anything, so I figured it was about time I got back into it!  Hope you enjoy, any feedback is appreciated :) Warnings: None Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader Word Count: 2.7K

“What’s wrong with you, Pretty Boy?” Morgan questioned as Spencer rushed into the BAU Tuesday morning, fingers threading through his curls and a look of pure agitation gracing his features.  As if he didn’t hear the question directed towards him, Spencer continued to storm through the room, nearly stumbling into Morgan in his quest to reach his desk.

Pupils dilating, Morgan looked towards JJ who had taken stock of the scene from her chair, brows already furrowed and legs moving to stand and head towards her fellow colleague.

Taking the lead, JJ swiftly headed to Spencer’s side, moving to place a hand on his shoulder before thinking better of it and placing both hands on the edge of his desk instead, Mama Bear instincts dialed all the way up.  “Everything okay, Spence?  You seem annoyed.”  

Morgan scoffed before thinking better of it, “I’d say he’s a bit more than annoyed, JJ”.  No sooner than the words had left his mouth he was given a swift elbow in his side from JJ and an eye roll from Spencer and all that was left for Morgan to do was raise his hands in defeat.

Sighing, Spencer turned back to his desk before mumbling a response back to them, “I’m fine, guys.  I think I lost my copy of War and Peace on the Metro this morning.  It was in my bag when I left my place, it must have fallen out when I was trying to grab my umbrella.  I thought maybe I just forgot and left it here, but apparently not”.

“You and I both know you don’t forget anything, Pretty Boy,” Morgan chimed in, visibly less tense now that he knew there wasn’t any immediate danger.

“Actually Morgan that’s not entirely true.  I have an eidetic memory which means-”

“There’s the Reid we all know and love,” JJ chuckled, heading back to her desk to get ready for the day ahead of them.  Morgan followed, leaving the bullpen in search of Garcia and Spencer sighed, trying to move past the fact that one of his favorite books was no longer in his possession.  Logically, he knew he could buy a replacement copy after work, but deep down he knew it wasn’t the same.

The words dancing across the page would be the same ones that brought him entertainment and the comfort found in familiarity throughout his life, but the book within his hands wouldn’t hold the same nostalgic memories.  He wouldn’t look down at the tattered cover and reminisce on his first jet ride with the BAU, thinking back on how he brushed his fingers against the book’s familiar spine while trying to calm his stomach filled with nervous jitters at the prospect of working with unfamiliar people.  He wouldn’t look at the dog-eared pages and remember how the words on those exact pages brought him comfort on nights he would escape to his bedroom and try to leave memories of aggressive classmates and whispering peers behind.  

Any thought of potentially buying a new copy of the book after the workday was dispelled though as Garcia called everyone into the conference room to discuss a pending case in Phoenix, no sooner followed by a “wheels up in thirty” announcement from Hotch.  Grabbing his go-bag and leaving the bullpen, Spencer filled his head with thoughts of the case, half of his brain racing ahead to connect victimology and significant locations while the other half was stuck repeating a never-ending mantra of “it’s just a book” in the back of his mind.

***

As Spencer was boarding a jet to head 468 miles north, Y/N was playing with a loose thread on her sweater, thinking about the long day of work ahead of her.  Breaking her trance, she looked up and instead glanced up at the now empty row of seats in front of her.  Her brows furrowed as she saw a book stuck in the crack between the far left seat cushion and the back of the chair, and before she knew it her curiosity overtook her.  Y/N found herself standing from the seat, travel mug and bag in tow, before reaching for the dictionary-like book that was calling to her.  The title War and Peace glared back at her, and a quick turn of the cover revealed faded words written in blue ink proclaiming that the book was the “Property of Spencer Reid”.   With the announcement of her stop blaring over the loudspeaker and the weight of someone else’s book in their hand, Y/N made a split second decision to stuff the book into her bag, leaving the Metro with not only thoughts of the upcoming workday but visions of whom the mysterious Spencer Reid could be.

The workday passed by slowly, each passing second filled with the overwhelming desire to search for Spencer Reid on Google.  By the time Y/N was on the Metro ride home, any and all motivation to search for the book’s rightful owner went out the door as her irritation grew with the rising heat of the increasingly packed subway car.  Needing a distraction, her hand reached into her bag, initially moving for her cell phone but making a last second switch as her hand brushed the spine of the book.  May as well spend my time doing something productive, she thought as she gently pulled the book out of it’s temporary home.  With a final sigh, she turned to the first page and began to read.

As Y/N was tearing through the pages of War and Peace at an alarmingly quicker rate than she anticipated that night, Spencer was filling out a WMTA lost and found form in the hopes that someone had the decency to return his book.  Knowing his luck, he assumed it was long gone and in the trash somewhere, but he figured it wouldn’t hurt to make one last ditch effort at finding it.  Groaning, Spencer called it a night and went to bed, silently vowing to find his book the second he stepped foot off the BAU jet again.        

***

Six days later the BAU team landed in Quantico, making plans to head to a bar for a drink before a well deserved day off.  As designated drivers were assigned and phone calls home were made Spencer gathered his things, making a beeline to the door in the hopes of reaching the WMTA’s designated lost and found area before it closed for the night.  He was a foot away from the door before a soft hand grasped his wrist, immediately stopping him in his tracks.

“Skipping out on the bar tonight, Reid?” Emily questioned, head tilted as she noticed how frazzled her friend was.

“I’m just gonna go home and watch a bit of Dr.Who” Spencer began, desperately trying to think of something that would let him out the door without further questions.  “Speaking of Dr. Who, did you know that it was originally created to be an educational show for kids?  It’s actually really interesting-”

“Say no more, Dr. Reid,” Emily laughed, letting go of his wrist and heading back towards the others, “enjoy your night”.  Spencer tightly smiled, leaving the bullpen and making his way to downtown DC in search of his book.  An hour later and he wasn’t any closer to finding his book, ultimately giving up and heading to the bookstore to buy himself another copy.

It was at that same time JJ and Derek found themselves hysterically laughing at a corner booth in the bar, thinking about how Spencer probably missed out on meeting the love of his life that night- a woman sitting in the booth directly across from them, War and Peace open on the table in front of her and a pen and highlighter busy at work marking up post its that were being meticulously placed on the book’s pages.

***

A month and a half went by and Spencer had officially given up hope on finding his lost book.  In the six weeks since he had last seen it he refrained from reading his new copy, not willing to give up the small amount of hope he had that he would be reunited with his original book.  That evening though, as the Metro had yet another delay and the subway car continued to get hotter and hotter, he figured there was no better time than the present and pulled out his new copy of War and Peace.  A few pages in, a sudden jolt of the car made him glance up and almost immediately he locked eyes with the woman across from him.  In the span of ten seconds, his thoughts ranged from she’s beautiful to hold on- she’s holding my book and before his legs fully alerted his brain what was happening he found himself on his feet and sitting in the empty seat directly next to her.

As Spencer’s brain began to register just how bad of an idea it was to sit next to a stranger as abruptly as he just did, the woman next to him gripped her bag slightly tighter, tilting her head to the side as she peaked a look at the man next to her.

Her mouth opened to speak, but before she could do so Spencer interrupted her, desperately trying to save himself from any embarrassment her words could bring.

“That’s my book,” he bluntly stated, mentally hitting himself as he watched her adorably confused features morph into a look of defense.

“No.. that’s your book,” she pointed down to his lap, where his new copy of War and Peace was resting between his palms.

“No it’s not- well, it is but it isn’t really?” Spencer tried to explain, his face growing more and more red with each word that left his mouth.

“So it’s your book, but not your book?” She questioned, lips curling up into a slight smile as she witnessed the sweet agitation of the man in front of her.

“Yes!  I lost my book on the metro almost two months ago.  This is just my replacement copy, and I don’t know how I know, but I’m positive the book in your hands right now is the one that I lost.”  Spencer finished his spiel, watching as the woman’s eyes widened in realization and her mouth formed an “o” shape.

“You’re Spencer Reid?” she asked, and now it was his turn to play the part of the confused companion.

“I- yes? But, how do you know my name?” As soon as the question left his mouth the image of the title page of his book filled his head and all too soon he was practically yelling with joy in the poor woman’s face.  “Wait, that is my book then!  Does it say Property of Spencer Reid on the cover page?”

The woman laughed, and Spencer watched as any traces of tension left her body.  “I’m so sorry!  I found it on the Metro on my way to work, and I meant to look you up- not in a creepy way,” she continued, growing more flustered with each passing second.  “I was gonna try and find you to return it but then I started reading it and I liked it more than I thought I would and I just,” She stooped, taking a breath and giving him the most adorable set of puppy dog eyes he’s ever seen.  “I’m just really sorry, I shouldn’t have held onto it as long as I did”.  She finished, and held the book up, holding it out towards Spencer’s hands.  “I think this belongs to you”.

“It’s not a problem at all, I promise,” Spencer reassured her with a warm smile on his face, “thanks for keeping it safe”.  Something about her filled his stomach with joy, and as he looked at her he saw a similar smile mirrored back at him.  It was at that moment he knew he would do anything to keep that look of happiness on her face, stranger or not.  “You know what,” he continued, “you should keep it- finders keepers and all that”.

Y/N laughed in disbelief, immediately shaking her head and pushing the book closer to its rightful owner.  “It’s bad enough I’ve had it this long,” she admitted.  “It belongs with you”.

“At least take this one then?”  Spencer’s brain continued to be a few steps ahead of him, and before he knew it he was taking the book in the stranger’s outstretched hands and placing his new copy in her grasp.  “It looks like you still have a hundred pages or so left and I wouldn’t want to keep you from finishing it.  Besides, I definitely don’t need two copies”.

The woman smiled and gave him an enthusiastic nod, and Spencer couldn’t help but think he just made the best decision of his life.  The speaker above them announced the next stop, and with a sudden jump she left her seat, discarding the new book into her bag and turning towards Spencer on her way to the door.  “Thanks, Spencer!” she exclaimed, “maybe I’ll see you around sometime”.  Another smile was sent his way, and before he earned up the nerve to ask for her name she was gone, disappearing into a growing crowd of commuters desperate to get back to the comfort of their homes and begin the weekend ahead.

***

The following morning, Spencer found himself in his living room with a mug of coffee in his hand, completely lost in his thoughts.  He was trying to calculate the chances of seeing the mystery woman again, considering it took six weeks after losing his book to see her for the first time at all.  

He groaned, inwardly cursing himself for his lack of courage the day before and wishing he at least had a name to match to the face that wouldn’t leave his mind.  As the coffee cooled, he found his gaze wandering to the coffee table where he had laid the book and his satchel the previous night.  With a sigh, Spencer picked up the book only to notice a bright orange post-it sticking out of one of the pages.

“The strongest of all warriors are these two- time and patience” was written in loopy writing, highlighted in yellow with exactly twelve exclamation points in red ink under it.  He was a man of science, but he couldn’t help but feel as though finding one of his favorite quotes from the novel staring up at him was a sign.

As he continued to skim the pages, he found note after note filled with quotes, reactions, and doodles and he couldn’t help but feel a twinge of admiration for the stranger who put them all there.  It was a book that held countless memories for Spencer, but already he could tell that this was going to be his ultimate favorite.  

Backtracking to the front page, Spencer saw his familiar scrawl had been slightly covered by a light blue post it note.  “If this book gets lost a second time I don’t want to make the same mistake as the first guy… please call Y/N at-” Spencer laughed, immediately grabbing his phone to dial the number before he has time to talk himself out of it.

As the phone began to ring, he thought about how he couldn’t picture her name being anything else.  It was as beautiful as she was, and he longed to properly meet the woman who managed to get his heart racing with just a few post-it notes.

“Hello?” the voice on the other end of his phone answered, and Spencer could immediately tell it was the same woman from the subway.

“Hi, is this Y/N?” he began, fingers nervously twiddling together.  At her hum of acknowledgement he continues, “This is Spencer, the guy who’s book you had?  I was just looking through the post-its you left behind and I love the perspective you have on the book.  Plus, it was so nice of you to even hold onto it in the first place so I was wondering if you’d wanna get coffee, maybe?  So I can say thank you for everything and talk about the book with you?”

The opposite end of the phone was silent and Spencer’s face grew red, his hands moving to his hair because how could he possibly think she wanted to meet him, she didn’t even know him and-

“I was hoping you’d find that post-it note,” she giggled, and with the sound all of Spencer’s worries completely washed away.  “Absolutely”.

***

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