#this is literally. still just the FOREWARD

[genderfreakxx]

I’m the girl of the band!

[29121996]

.

[thebibliosphere]

I saw your post about ingram, and out of curiosity, is there some advantage to going through the whole self-publishing thing with retailers when you're just starting out? like I mean the way that fandom zines work is that they don't even bother going through ingram or amazon or whatever. they just set up a social media site (usually twitter) to gain followers, open preorders (usually 1-2 months in length) to generate the costs of printing upfront, and then sell anywhere from a few dozen to several hundred copies of their books (usually artbooks, but anthologies exist too). I've seen some zines generate over a thousand orders. they're kind of like pop-up shops, except for books. maybe the sales numbers aren't so impressive to a real author, but the profit generated is typically waaaay more than the $75+ apparently needed for Ingram Spark, so I still feel like new authors could benefit from this method too, especially if they just need some start-up cash to eventually move to ingram if they want to for subsequent runs of their book. I think authors would also have to set aside some of the pre-order money to buy an ISBN number to have printed on their book, and I'm not really sure what other differences there are, but I just wanted to ask about it in case there's some huge disadvantage I'm missing!

So, popup zines work well for some people, and I know some authors who kickstart their work successfully. But for a lot, it's just not feasible as a long-term stratedy. Or even as a means to get off the ground.

Fanzines succeed primarily because an existing fanbase is willing and ready to throw money at something they love. They’ve got a favorite writer or artist they want to support. Supporting all the others is just a happy by-product. They also take a HUGE amount of short-term but intense planning that just doesn’t always jive with how some of us work.

I, for one, would never offer to organize a fanzine. I’ll take part in them as a creator, but I’d rather throw myself off a cliff than subject myself to wrangling that many people and dealing with the legal logistics.

When it comes to authors doing anthologies, it'svery much the same. The success of the funding often hinges on having other big-name authors involved whose existing fans will prop up the project. Or having a huge marketing budget.

Most self-pub authors have zero marketing budget. I’m one of them, and I’m under no illusions that my work would not be as popular and self-sustaining as it is if I didn’t have a large Tumblr blog.

When I thank Tumblr in my forewards, I am utterly sincere. Tumblr brought fandom levels of enthusiasm to an unknown work and broke the Amazon algorithm so hard, that Amazon thought I was bot sniping my way to multiple #1 spots and froze my sales rankings.

That’s not the norm. And while I could probably kickstart my own work as an indie creator, that’s because I’ve put literal decades into building up a readership. I’ve been doing this since I was 16 and realized people thought I was funny. I didn’t know what to do with it or if I’d ever actually write anything, but it meant the groundwork was already there (thank you, past-me). I basically fell upward into my success by virtue of never being able to shut the fuck up and wanting to make people laugh. Clown instincts too strong.

New or first-time authors trying to sell their work without that will find it infinitely harder.

All of that aside, even if an unknown author somehow gets lucky and manages to fund their work, there’s still the question of shipping and distribution logistics. Are you shipping everything yourself? Better hope you’re able-bodied and have the time for it. (for reference, it took me months to ship out 300 patreon hardbacks because of my disabilites. It damaged my back and hands. I couldn’t type for several weeks after I was done.)

Are you going to sell primarily at conventions? Better hope you’re able-bodied, have the time and don’t have cripling anxiety about being in large groups...

Also, will selling a dozen to a few thousand copies in one burst be sustainable in the long run as a career? Not for me. Doing things via Ingram and Amazon means I earn a steady trickle of sales for the rest of my life provided the platforms remain and so long as I keep working and can generate interest in the series, not just when I have funds to pay for physical copies to sell. The one-time (in theory) cost of $75 to distribute through Ingram gets paid off pretty quick that way. And it doesn't require the same logistics as doing the popup/crowdfund.

Ultimately, it comes down to what you are capable of but also the type of work you’re doing. If you’ve got an extended network of fellow creatives who will back you or you’ve got a large following elsewhere, doing it like a popup might work for you.

If you’re an exhausted burnout who can’t fathom the short but intense amount of organization that sort of thing requires, not to mention doing it over and over and over... Ehhhhh. No thank you.

[monstersinthecosmos]

🔥 + kink in VC

(also thinking like in comparison to Anne's other books like CoSB and realizing VC is so fucking mild and antis have no business being in Anne Rice fandom)

Dsjgkalsdg comrade why are you asking me this you know I’m about to launch into a TED Talk.

So like, if we compare Anne’s Sleeping Beauty books to VC, I feel like the kink is meta in two completely different ways, like opposite ends of the spectrum. In SB, the BDSM is meta in the sense that it’s built into the universe. They are not books ABOUT BDSM, they are books about fantasy and the kinks just get to exist. It’s an immersive fantasy that takes all the ways people play IRL and makes it canon. And a lot of people who dislike them (based on like bad GoodReads reviews LOL) ONLY see them as rape books and don’t really understand the way it’s giving BDSM a space to breathe.

What vanilla folks don’t understand is that IRL BDSM is also fiction a lot of the time. Even tame shit like spanking and talking dirty—do these people actually want their partners to hit them in their day-to-day lives? Do they want to be catcalled and lewded outside of the scene? Probably not! And even going to more in depth scenes like, do you actually think you’re someone’s kitty? Do you actually want an assailant to tie you up? Do you actually want to be trafficked?

No! You dont’! You want to play pretend with your partner, with whom you’ve consented.

And I think this attitude in the bad reviews is also the attitude that fanfic writers get from conservatives/radfems/swerfs/fancops in fandom, that somehow writing noncon fic or darkfic in general is somehow making these atrocious things literal, when in fact THEIR EXISTENCE WITHIN A WORK OF FICTION AUTOMATICALLY MAKES THEM NOT LITERAL. And people need to understand that the consent for stories like this is not about the fictional people involved who do not exist and therefore cannot consent, but between the reader and the author when you open the book.

Anyway I bring that up because these books tell me a lot about Anne’s sensibility for kink. SHE GETS IT MAN. She wasn’t shy about it. So I think it speaks very broadly to the way power dynamics and monsterfuckery are expressed within VC, as well, even though these are two very opposite ends of the spectrum with her writing, I think that same confidence and kink positivity still exists. There's also a foreward to the copy of SB that I read, I think she added in 2012, and it was SO insightful about her process and her intention writing the kink & porn the way she did and I just think she really fucking understood what she was doing. And it's so telling to me because like, she mentions she used the pen name when she first wrote them because her father was alive and she was embarrassed, and one of the first scenes in SB is Beauty being stripped naked and paraded around IN FRONT OF HER FATHER LOL. So like WITHOUT GOING OFF ON A SIDE TANGENT something else vanilla folks don't understand is that so often kink is about the thing being transgressive and gross and uncomfortable; IT'S HOT BECAUSE IT'S UNCOMFORTABLE. It's not something that anyone literally wants, it's just hot because it's WRONG. And I think often about how this is like, the sex equivalent of trying not to laugh at an off-color joke, and how it's not that the joke is funny but that it's so off-putting that you laugh at the absurdity of it.

I feel like the kink in VC is meta in an opposite way, in the way it’s so symbolic and understated. Also because the vampires are asexual it gives a whole layer of like non-sexual BDSM dynamics are it’s SO GOOD. 

So I think coming from an author was not squeamish about writing immersive BDSM, a lot of those themes are in VC and I wonder if they come from the same place, even if it’s subliminal on her part. Like the power dynamics, consent around biting, THE CONSTANT MONSTERFUCKING & FLIRTING WITH DEATH AKA “THE SWOON”. And even later in TVA with the introduction of the whipping scene and all Armand’s comments about getting tied up and having his fuckin, pit hair tugged on or whatever. 

And it has some of those like sort of dubcon romance tropes that I think we can’t discard; being TAKEN! Being OVERPOWERED! It ties into vampire fiction in general with like, vampires historically being a symbol of sexuality, going back to like Dracula comin in ur window and everything. 

But VC never makes it “about” kink, it’s just like SB, just baked into the themes. And like a lot of the more obvious BDSM themes in VC are also not consensual, they’re just built into the universe. Like Armand stalking/abusing Daniel, like Marius whipping Armand without negotiating first, like Akasha’s femdom murder bender. And even how often biting gets used as a symbol for sex, and how often noncon biting gets called rape! And the characters know it! And they do it anyway! (Also I cannot neglect to mention obvious tropes like Marius/Armand just being a teacher/student trope. IT'S A PORN TROPE! Or what about Gabrielle as Mommy!Dom? PORN TROPE! Quinn/Goblin twincest? PORN TROPE! The exhibitionism/public humiliation on the TDV stage hello???? That's like an Upper Floor party come on LOL. [this type of dynamic is also SO SO prevalent in SB.])

I’m not really sure what my conclusion here is because like, I just think this is all here in the books and it’s really excellent fodder to talk about kink and character dynamics. Power dynamics is so huge in BDSM and it’s so so huge in VC, not just like, vampires being old and powerful and having that as a status symbol over one another, but even emotionally speaking like. TELL ME THAT ARMAND & LESTAT AREN’T ABSOLTUELY SOAKED IN HUMILIATION AND BEGGING. Taking inventory of VC ships like there’s ALWAYS a dominant and a submissive, it’s so rare that people are just equals with each other, and it’s always part of the appeal! 

There’s this psychologist Esther Perel, I think she’s brilliant and she’s very kink positive and has a bunch of podcasts and stuff. I read her book Mating in Captivity and she brought up this whole thing about kink and power dynamics and how like, it’s not always clear who’s in charge, and you can’t judge relationships based on who’s older, who makes more money, who’s larger, etc, because power dynamics are so much more complicated than that. She uses the example that if you’ve ever been in public with a screaming toddler, which of you is really the dominant? I think about this constantly!

And like speaking about real life kink being so deeply about CONSENT means so much to me with this conversation about VC, too, because like even looking at a relationship like Marius & Human!Armand or Armand and Human!Daniel, it doesn’t matter that one is a powerful vampire if they also feel so tenderly towards their fragile little human. TVA was very explicit about this when they have that conversation about which one of them is the other’s slave. So in BDSM even though we look at the dom as being the one in control, the consent is the thing in control and ultimately the SUB is in control by permitting all of it! 

So I just feel very strongly about all of this, it’s all over VC, and even when it’s less obvious (relationships like Loustat, like Lestat/Armand, even Louis/Claudia) there are so many of these power elements to examine. Even if it’s not written TO BE KINKY they’re still there and I think it’s all connected, because I’m kink positive and I love unpacking this stuff. 

AND ALSO LIKE ON THE ASEXUAL FRONT, I love it so much because like as a kinky ace, and knowing as many kinky aces as I know, there’s SO MUCH KINK out there that is NOT SEXUAL so I think it just translates so nicely to VC vampires being asexual, like it all makes so much fucking sense to me and it’s so fun and I adore it so much!!! 

THIS WAS PURE STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS IM GONNA POST IT BEFORE I GET WORRIED THAT IM NOT COHESIVE, ENJOY!!! 

[bu-blegh-ost]

Do you guys ever think about a reason why Jayson wouldn't take Gillion's sword out of his chest? Like I can see so clearly Jayson just attending important Navy meetings, perfect posture, unbreakable demeanor and professionalism and this goddamn Whalebone Longsword just kinda sticking out. And everyone see it, for sure, but no one dares to bring it up and Jayson just completely ignores its existance. In fact, he acts so dissmissing of this, that people around start to think that maybe they just imagined it xD

Like he couldn't be just walking with a damn sword in his chest right??? But then they are on a coffee break and Jayson turns around and the fucking sword knocks a fucking vase off or something, cause it's always so in the way AND HE STILL FUCKING DOESN'T REACT. Like what the fuck is even happening anymore!!?? All the soliders that work with him are going insane.

Fr tho, do you sometimes think that maybe Jayson was actually mortally wounded by Gillion's strike? And that he literally can't take it off, cause if he does, he will straight up die? How would Jay even feel about it? How would Gillion? What would that mean for their relationship going foreward? Did Jayson maybe decide to listen to Jay in EP 100 cause he feels his own time running out? Idunno, Jayson quotes such as "You have been a constant pain in my chest" or "You'll have to kill me to get this sword back" make me think things.

[samble-moved]

Madoka's Ascension Can Be Read as a Sort of Suicide

TW: Discussion of suicide, depression, etc.

Note: This is a repost from @/samble, my prev (deleted) blog, done for ease of access. I don't actually think this interpretation this was intentional, but it's another valid way you can read Madoka's actions.

I) Foreward/Beginning

A lot of people associate Homura with the idea of a "depressed character" in Madoka Magica. This makes sense, though you could likely argue most, if not all of the cast, is depressed/traumatized. However, Homura is the most blatent. She is constantly overly self-critical, has very poor self esteem, has canonically attempted suicide and has suicidal thoughts, and her entire witch is literally based around wanting and wanting to die.

But just because Homura's is one of the more in-your-face doesn't mean Madoka, who's literally portrayed as a goddess that gives hope, can't be seen as a character who's also going through things, even pre-Timeloop shenanigans...

II) Madoka's Self Esteem, or Total Lack Thereof

Madoka, throughout most of her appearances throughout the "main" anime timeline, has very obvious low self esteem. She compares herself to others constantly, seems to base her whole sense of self worth off of if she's seen as "helpful", and is always calling herself weak and a burden/bother to others. Most people think (perhaps rightly) that this is only due to the aforementioned Timeloop Shenanigans as shown in the anime, but Madoka actually thinks this way even before Homura becomes a magical girl. See: the drama CDs, specifically #1.

Here's a quote from the CD summary off Puella Magi Wiki that I think stands out (keep in mind, again, this is Timeline One Madoka, NOT the less self-confident Madoka from later Timelines/loops):

"On their way Madoka confesses to Homura that she used to think the same way as Homura, she felt powerless and useless but that changed when she became a magical girl...[before] she felt she was only causing trouble to other people."

This implies Madoka gains her confidence when she becomes a magical girl. But her lack of it in the first place implies TL1 Madoka, if/when she was human, didn't have high self esteem like people think. She got it from winning battles and helping people as a magical girl. So it's entirely possible that having a poor view of herself is actually Madoka's "default", and it can't all be blamed on looping affecting her. It's highly possible "later Timeline" Madoka IS just like First Timeline Madoka — she's just still human.

III) Madoka Only Ever Seems to Like Herself if She's Saving Someone (Even at the Cost of Her Life)

Even in the TL1 Madoka examples, did you notice how she repeatedly says her self esteem only raised after she becomes a magical girl? Being a magical girl, where job benefits include trauma, life threatening situations on the daily, literally no escape but dying, and becoming/watching your friends become eldritch horrors that you have to kill? That doesn't seem like something that would make you feel better, but worse.

However, the main draw to Madoka is saving other people. Forget her own life and safety, she'd rather help others! And...this could be a noble goal, if literally all of her self esteem didn't rest on her doing this.

Think about it. Madoka is fourteen. She's highly self critical, thinks she's useless, and overall has a very poor self image. But then, she contracts. Sure, she's in constant danger (which she acknowledges), but she helps people...which makes her happy, despite all the "mortal peril" drawbacks. Now think about if a normal human middle schooler said this. Like, a normal 13-14 year old girl saying her entire sense of self worth revolves around saving people while putting herself in life threatening situations. Nobody would say this is a "good" thing, most people would think she would need therapy, or to try and base her self worth on other things instead of just something so dangerous, or wait until she's older and has more experience. They wouldn't blindly support such a thing.

IV) Madoka as Someone Passively Suicidal

I want to start out this section by saying I do not think Madoka would ever intentionally and literally kill herself. Thus the "passively" aspect.

Obviously, Madoka never says something to the effect of, "I want to kill myself" or "I want to die" in the anime. However, her actions and blatent disregard for her own safety and life can be read as a more passive instead of active form of suicidal ideation, or just not caring about herself at best.

From choosetherapy, "Passive suicidal ideation happens when people desire death but do not make active plans to harm themselves. These thoughts may sound like, 'I wish I could go to sleep and not wake up,' or 'I wish I could die in a car accident.' Although these are not active plans and tend to be situations in which people do not die by their own hand, people may still engage in riskier behaviors as a result of these thoughts."

From Refinery29, on an article by someone who's dealt with this: "Most days, I enjoyed my life. I was invested in my plans and looked forward to the future. But every now and then, when things were particularly difficult, I wanted to close my eyes and disappear. Thinking about no longer existing was like an emotional reflex, something I sometimes defaulted to when faced with internal pain."

Now, again, Madoka is never for sure shown saying anything like this — but we also don't see a ton of her thought process, in general. What we do see, however, can be a bit alarming.

From the same summary of Drama CD #1: "Madoka tells Homura that she wanted to adopt the black cat [Amy] but apparently it likes being independent. So she asks Homura that if something were to happen to her, she would like Homura to take care of it. Homura panics but Madoka tries to calm her by telling her she is not planning on dying soon."

Remember that Madoka...

Is absolutely willing to throw herself into literal life or death situations to try and save someone, no hesitation, at 14

Is prone to risk taking behaviors in some cases due to the above, even fighting when she knows she will die or doing dangerous things that can 100% get her killed or injured

Does these things because her self esteem is so low she seems to see herself as worthless

Is constantly seemingly belittling herself (

Only gains self worth through saving and helping others, even if it literally results in her dying and is very dangerous (at 14!!!)

Makes a dark joke/request to Homura about Homura watching out for Amy (the cat) if "something happens" to Madoka in TL1, which is a little worrying, since things like making "hypothetical" requests like that sometimes happens if someone is planning on suicide (ex. "If I die, please take care of my pets" or "If something ever happens to me, please do xyz" and yes, I'm aware she doesn't commit suicide then, but I recognized this is likely the reason why Homura is worried).

V) How This Relates to Madoka's Final Wish

AKA how Madoka's self sacrifical nature goes full throttle, resulting in something suspiciously akin to that whole "passively suicidal" thing we just touched on.

I'm not sure if other people have noticed it, but it seems implied that Madoka knew, or at least didn't care that her wish would erase her from existence — and, worse, this is something she wanted to happen.

Mami literally tells Madoka she will never physically be able to stop fighting, and that Madoka will lose all individuality. Mami even tells her dying would be kinder. The same Mami that made a wish to avoid dying. And does Madoka freak out? Seem to show she didn't expect this? No. She just basically says, "Fine. That's what I wanted to do, anyways."

She knew this was a potential aspect of her wish, and does not care that it "kills" her (in a metaphorical sense) by erasing any and all records of her existing, and her as a person.

Remember that part about how something like, "I wish I could just disappear?" can be passive suicidal ideation? Yeah, well it's pretty clear now that this was intentional, or, at "best", something Madoka doesn't mind...when she 100% should absolutely mind as a middle school aged girl.

And Mami isn't the only character who sees Madoka's fate as sad and depressing! Homura thinks so! And Homura says dying would be better when she sold her soul to keep Madoka from dying!

Madoka herself is maybe content with it, but again, Madoka only likes herself if she's saving someone. If she's not, she thinks she's a burden on her friends and family.

Madoka has low self esteem -> Madoka gains it by saving and helping others, even at great risk -> her wish is a literal cultivation of that, as she wishes herself out of existence -> Madoka is likely "content" as the LoC because

She no longer "exists" and has no actual "self" anymore

She is useful and helps people, and only sees herself as anything other than a nuisance and a good for nothing when she's doing things like this

This isn't even getting into the lyrics and implications of Madoka's character song if it's being read this way, which is one of those "sounds happy, is actually really sad" types:

"Cracking a smile, yet I'm feeling lonely / The truth is, I still have more to talk about / But with the words 'See you later' / I say we'll meet again, but it's a lie / and with my usual smile, I say / 'See you tomorrow'"

VI) Additional Notes

I'd like to add (post-posting howomura edit here) that you can commit suicide (or quasi-suicide) for a "selfless" or "good" reason and for it to still be sad and messed up. Nobody is claiming Madoka is evil for sacrificing herself, just that she shouldn't have felt like she had to do it, especially at her age (fourteen).

People who do it so their families can get money, to make political points and attract attention to events, etc, may have "good" intentions and be "selfless" in their actions, but it doesn't mean those people should have had to do it. Altruistic and benevolent suicides are still tragic even if they're meant to be for good cause or to help others as a whole.

[bangsinc]

Are we allowed to ask for some BTAS!Scarecrow x Reader? That character definitely deserves more love! But I totally get it if we can’t!

🎃More Scarecrow x Reader (HCS)🦴

UHMMM YES! I’m gunna be super honest, I’d much rather write for BTAS than Spider-Man.. this makes me very happy :3 I love Batman.. he’s my meow meow,,

Also I agree! Nobody writes for him (I kinda wish someone wrote for a goth reader w him too ngl)… no warnings! Also I wrote a lot,,, sorry. I GOT SO EXCITED TO WRITE ABT BTAS

Jonathan Crane was a man of many faces. He’d been a professor, a villian, but.. never a lover. He’d never dabbled in the dating scene for many reasons. He’d never been considered attractive for one, and additionally, his chosen profession, age, and introverted nature seemed like major obstacles in the pursuit of romance.. To think he could still make someone swoon for him was.. flattering? He’s not sure what to make of it initially.

After the initial first meet, he can’t seem to stop thinking of you. Your memory lingers in his mind like a song stuck in his head. Your voice was a melody only he felt he should be able to cherish, and your apperance was almost ethereal. It’s not that he felt out of your league but.. he really did.

His mind, and morals seem to get the better of him in this situation. He truly has no man or woman he can turn to in a time of desperation, as he’d disclosed himself off from mostly everybody. His own mind became a mentor, and he decided to follow its adivce well.

He begins, slowly, to go out of his way to see you. He’s quiet and especially awkward, not used to being on the giving end of starting a conversation. Many other professors almost look in shock if they’re able to see such a display of subtle affection. What had gotten into this man?

His students for the most part notice his change in demeanor. He’d been a good professor for the most part, quiet and honestly a bit too interested in fear to their liking.. but never outright happy? He was an older man, who’d they’d figured lost the spark he initially had in his job.. they think of themselvs as wrong from that point foreward.

The more your newly found and unexpected friendship progresses, Jonathan finds himself unintentionally opening up to you more and more, spilling facts about both him and what interested him in his profession. He keeps this side of him hidden at first, worried he’d regress to his younger years and scare you away.

The most suprising part about this new friendship is how much he trusts you, however. He’d initially thought of himself as closed off, and if anyone were to try and come close he’d simply push them away. But.. he does let you touch him playfully, nudge him, tease him.. he doesn’t mind it one bit, even though if it was anyone else he’d be bound to lose his temper.

Side note but I would imagine it being funny if you were unintentionally pushing him around slightly, like you bring him into a hug and he literally is so fucking fragile he just can’t breathe 😭

Might offhandedly ask you for your fears, and while he initially imagines what would become if he were to see you in a state of fear.. he somehow stops himself. This was the one actually good thing to become of his life in a big time. Sure, the obsession with fear was a lovely distraction, but what he needed the most was a connection with someone.. so, from that point foreward, he made a little vow to try and keep you away from any of his harmful hobbies.

A confession with him could go many ways. If he were the one to confess his feelings, it would take years. He’d need to know truly know you and your character. Your personality thick and thin, your downsides and upsides, your interests and hobbies.. hed need to be able to recite anything about you from memory, and have an almost spiritual bond in that sence.

A setting for him would also be rather specific. He isnt fond of the rain unless a thunderstorm is in its wake, a common fear, and he certainly isn’t a fan of sunny and warm weather.. fall would be perferred. Perhaps a rather warmer day of fall, the leaves a golden brown and bright yellow. Perhaps he’d take you to a park, or maybe you’d both find someplace nice and isolated to sit. The sun would barely shine over the pearly white clouds, creating a slightly dim atmosphere. An atmosphere he felt the most comfortable in.

Hes not exactly a poetic type, and feelings for him have always been complicated and hard to come by. For Jonathan, gestures say more than words, but obviously he would need to do more to confess his feelings twoards you.

He’d be more.. gentle the day he confesses to you. He has no intention to go on a mindless rant, and he looks incredibly nervous and uneasy. He wasn’t used to feeling nervous, if anything he had figured those emotions were something he controlled and could control on others.

—————————————

🎃Post Confession:

You wouldn’t be reading this if you rejected him, so let’s just go to the dating Headcanons! I have a lot for post scsrecrow jon too, don’t worry this all isn’t going to be professor crane lol.

He was undeniably a sentimental lover, his emotions in a constant state of flux. He’s very doting, very gentle and.. very touchy. It’s rather difficult for a man shunned affection in his early years to keep his hands off of someone willing to provide him with such a gesture.

Constant, maybe even unintentional touching. A hand on your thigh, or one on top of your hand as you sit together. There seems to always be a contented smile on his face in moments where it’s only you. He’s not a grumpy, reclusive man, and doesn’t feel the need to be.

Of course.. he wouldn’t have become the Scarecrow if he didn’t get fired from his previous job for his malpractice. The initial reaction was of course fury, and while he tried to contain the pent up emotions and bitter hatred he held for the Dean of Gotham university after the confrontation, he needed someone to talk to.

His initial reaction is to go straight to your home, not without multiple texts and calls, him frantically panicking and shouting about how all of his hard work and research was spent at a place he wasn’t appreciated at.. he was leaving details out, yes, but what you didn’t know surely wouldn’t hurt you..

If you two live together, he’s most likely going to hurriedly drive back to your shared apartment/house a complete and utter wreck, not even able to speak as his anger fuels all of his emotions.

Either way, he’s got his mind set on one goal now. He’s going to make the university pay, and he’s finally going to do what he loved. You were the only person he could trust, the only person he could count on. You try and be there to lend a loving hand in such a time of desperation, but he’s too far into his own world now. He still tries to be as loving as he can, but something seems off.. he’s definitely keeping a secret, and the more he seems to be hiding the more a sort of trust is broken between the two of you. A big factor as to why he did keep it a secret in the first place was the fear of you being hurt in the process of his own endeavors. He kept reminding himself that what you didn’t know would keep you safe, from the police, from his experiments, and from himself..

He comes to the realization that, if he does want this to work he’d need to let you in, even if you’d be upset over the initial anger he’d been living a double life. Of course, you probably were, but that slightly dampened trust was thankfully built between the two of you again. So what if you were going to date an aspired villian? You loved him, and he did kinda make good cinnamon muffins when you were sad.

His first mission (This would be taking place during his debut episode in Batman the Animated Srries!) was a simple one, sabatoge something, perhaps Gotham university. It was a widely spread crime, one that nobody was sure there was a motive for.. but there was.

I’m the span of his first two crimes, before his first robbery and getaway, he’d aqqired some goons. With the goons came a small name for himself in Gothams underworld, and with that came the need to form an alter ego. All of it was one game of dominos, fueled by revenge and desire. During these events, he’s.. awfully clingy, suprisingly. You’re the only person he can rely on, espically while he’s building a name for himself. He thinks his henchmen are dimwitted dropouts, and that the other criminals would never understand him like you do.

His goons are practically on your hand and foot, wether you like it or not. He’s made it very, very clear two his two main henchmen that your problems were his problems, and that he was never one to let his darling suffer. So.. congrats, you’ve gained two butlers, who work for free..

His goons were so, so suprised he cared about someone other than himself and his goals. The way he talked about you was a drastic difference from the way he talked about them, or anyone else for that matter.

Jonathan isnt shy to boast about his significant other, and many would think you two were an older married couple with the way he presented himself in your company. He’s the master of fear now, and you’re his Mistress/Beau.

Maybe it’s my own bias speaking, but your love would definitely shift into a more gothic and meloncholic undertone. Dates are eerie and poetic, and he serenades you the best way he can.. telling you about how you and him are to rule the world. You and him are two lovers destined to make the world bow at their feet as you both dance on the debris of a destroyed civilization.

His words are sincere, his devotion seeping through every sentence.

“People shall be screaming Hosannas in our name. They will kiss the ground we walk on, hand in hand, my love.”

He’s.. very overdramatic. But he does mean it.

Now when he robs banks, despite his initial claims that he’s not in it for the money, he does end up pocketing some from his goons. Now he does have someone he could be supporting, and at this rate in both of your lives, you either are living together or he’s living at your place so the police can’t catch onto him as easy. He’d like to make your life a little easier, anything for his little raven.

Strangely domestic, as if you two had been married for years. He gives you nicknames in a large supply, his favorites ones that most would deem to be ‘spooky’ or unconventional. My Raven, Adrienne, my flame, etc… might be a sucker for pumpkin too, both being called it and calling you it. You hardly get called your name the more and more you’re together.

You’d fallen in love with a villian, a villian willing to destroy cities in your name, you scare and terrify those who try to get in your way.. congratulations ;)

[tokiro07]

Undead Unluck ch.149 thoughts

[The Boys Just Call Him “Camouflage”]

[Foreward: So it’s occurred to me that the format of my chapter reviews has pretty much been page-by-page (or sometimes even panel-by-panel) summaries with a little bit of commentary, and honestly that’s not really what I want to be doing with these, so I’m going to try to be a bit more freeform with it this week if I can and see if that’s preferable. Please let me know which style you prefer! On with the review]

This chapter is exactly what I’ve been waiting for! I knew Tozuka would make me like Sean, and I knew he’d do it by leaning into EXACTLY who I thought Sean would be! Sean’s my poor little meow meow now, my cringefail son

It’s really appropriate that Sean views himself as being typecast as a side character when he’s literally the one who’s had the least screen time in the entire series. I think that Lucy’s even had more panels than him by this point, though now that he’s had an entire chapter dedicated to him, that’s probably either just changed or is about to change. Either way, it really reframes his previously minor contribution to the story in a new light, as his inferiority complex for being irrelevant, forgotten, and unseen stretches beyond the ink on the page and into the real world, with his only full bodied appearance prior to this being in his character profile. Man, even by omission, Tozuka is great at characterization!

It’s also interesting that Sean’s tragedy is the first to not actually cause a death (aside from Lucy’s). Yeah, his dad died, but there’s no indication that Sean or Unseen had anything to do with it. The tragedy is more that he’s now barred from living the life he wants as an actor taking center stage and instead is roped into living a life of crime. Of course, this unfortunate path in life is what leads to his untimely demise, which I think may be meant to be his true tragedy: aside from Shen and Rip, he’s the only Negator we ever saw die prior to Ragnarok and the only one not to be in some way revived. He had zero agency, always being dragged by the ear into horrible situations by people who were in charge of their lives, and ultimately died in obscurity, the person who killed him and who he tried to kill not even realizing he was there until he was already bleeding on the ground. Unseen in a supporting role to the very end, and he couldn’t even do that right

Even in this loop, nothing has changed: he’s still unable to perform like he wanted, he still gets dragged into a dangerous place where he can’t seem to do anything of value, and even cosmically the guy can’t even be born when he was supposed to! Sean is the ONLY Negator so far who was “born early” like Fuuko said, at least as far as we can tell, which may or may not be because even Tozuka himself forgot that Sean’s age wasn’t right for fitting him into the story he wanted to tell. Or maybe he did that on purpose to show Sean being batted around even more, who knows

Now, I do really love the confirmation that Fuuko wasn’t actually planning to use Sean in this mission initially. Like I said a couple of weeks ago, it seemed odd that Fuuko stated she wanted two more recruits and ended up with three, so knowing that Fuuko only intended on sheltering Sean so he wouldn’t get hurt helps the logic fall into place. And of course, just like in the previous loop, it’s Sean’s narcissistic need to take center stage that ultimately lands him in hot water, as he insisted that Fuuko bring him along to make use of his Unseen just like he insisted on disobeying Rip when he tried to kill Fuuko previously. Even after worming his way into the mission, he ends up being insubordinate and tries to wave the white flag to save himself, which only pisses off Creed

It’s really appropriate that Sean ends up being a major player in the fight against Creed for a few reasons. For one, they have similar ideologies: both strongly value their team (Creed with his men, Sean with is blood brothers). Second, the context they’re fighting in puts those similar ideologies completely at odds: Creed is trying to protect his men in this moment, but Sean isn’t with his blood brothers, he’s with his captors, and doesn’t want to associate with them, but to Creed, either Sean is a no-good deserter or the Union is rag-tag group who aren’t taking this battle seriously. Third, Sean is incredibly weak by Negator standards, and Creed is definitely on the higher end: this was the same set-up as his battle against Top and Chikara, wherein the two of them had to creatively use their Rules in conjunction with each other in order to overcome Creed’s. The way he’s defeated is even the same, with Top and Sean both using their abilities to come up behind Creed and disable him

The deciding factor for Sean this time, what differentiates his final moments as a member of Under and what are now his starting moments as a member of the Union, is that someone on his time actually sees him for who he is. Rip (and by extension Billy) just saw him as coworker at best and a tool at worst; they didn’t do anything to foster loyalty or to really bring out his potential, they just ordered him around and made him feel even smaller than he already did. Fuuko, however, sees how he can contribute and what insecurities are stopping him from meeting his potential, and tells him the words he needs to hear, that he isn’t just a side character. From a purely narrative standpoint, objectively he is a side character in this series, but thematically Fuuko’s words ring true: Undead Unluck follows Fuuko and Andy, but the two of them are only able to accomplish what they do because of the contributions of others. Everyone gets their time to shine, everyone gets to contribute, everyone has the opportunity to take center stage and become beloved in their own right, even if it takes some time

Isshin seemed uninteresting when she was first introduced because she was just a big faceless lug with no lines, but thanks to Fuuko, Isshin was dragged out of her shell and showed not only what she was capable of, but who she was and how she could grow and change, something that it seems Juiz just wasn’t capable of for whatever reason (that’s something I may go into eventually, but not here). Fuuko has now done the exact same thing with Sean, taking another character I was simply not interested in and made them an instant favorite

I also just really love the symbolism of “take another look at yourself,” and “I tried to turn a blind eye to them.” Unseen’s activation is closing one’s eyes, removing one’s own ability to see so that others cannot see them: Sean wasn’t just hiding from others, he was hiding from himself and refusing to see anyone else. For all his efforts to stand out and be someone important, all he ever managed to do was isolate himself further and further, preventing him from learning the true extent of his ability

As Sean said, he can only make things he views as essential to him invisible; previously we thought it was limited to “things he owned,” but now we see that he can view people as essential as well, going so far as to refer to Fuuko as one of his blood brothers. What’s really fun is that with the ability to turn a teammate invisible, he can now rely on their eyesight to navigate, eliminating his original weakness through the evolution of his ability rather than by finding a shortcut like he did last time. Instead of obsessively trying to surpass his cohorts, he now relies on the support of his friends so that he can in turn support them!

It’s such a perfect evolution for Sean’s character, and as usual, better than I ever dared to hope for! Tozuka always finds a way to surpass my expectations while still giving me pretty much exactly what I asked for. It makes for such a satisfying experience for me in a way that I don’t think any other series has ever done. Medaka Box never even gave me what I asked for this consistently! No wonder Undead Unluck so easily became a favorite on par with Medaka Box for me...

I suppose next week will be the falling action for the Creed battle and will lead into his recruitment, which I suspect will lead to him being an ally for the upcoming recruitment of Billy. I thought it was going to be the other way around, recruiting Billy to overcome Creed, but this definitely makes more sense: Billy was the leader of Under, so he should be the final boss for the Buroja conflict, possibly even finding Disc first. I wonder how exactly the fight with Billy will go...will everyone view him as an enemy except Fuuko, inadvertently giving him a ton of powers all at once? Will Tella master Untell at the perfect moment and protect Billy from the Union? Whatever happens, it’s not going to be an easy fight for the Union, and we’re definitely going to get a lot of interesting insight into his mentality and his past

As always, I’m super excited for next week’s chapter, I just can’t wait!!!

Back to what I said at the beginning of this post, I think I did a good job avoiding simply summarizing the chapter, but man it ended up being just as wordy anyway! I definitely had a lot more fun doing it this way since I feel like I got to express my actual thoughts a lot better than usual, but what do you think? Did you prefer having a recap of the events so you could better understand what actually happened, or do you feel you understand the story itself well enough and appreciate having a deeper dive into the themes instead? Let me know!

[ashtraysystem]

y'alllll I just remembered some family tea!!!

so its well known by me and my siblings that our one aunt, lets call her aunt dip since that was and is her nickname (short for dipshit lol), is not a good person. she's the kind of person who only ever comes to you if she wants something out of you. Since we moved out of state she's only ever contacted us on holidays, expecting gifts in return for her literally /shitty/ gifts. One year she got us one of those "haha silly its a shitty present" toilet paper gag gifts that you give for like, white elephant stuff. not to mention the random treats she'll send over despite knowing we throw them away every single time bc dad, hell even sib4, can make much higher quality stuff!

All this foreward to say, gramma seems to finally be understanding that aunt dip has been using her. aunt dip uses her as free babysitting for their dogs whenever they go out, even though her eldest tends to choose to stay home and could easily watch over the dogs himself.

Aunt dip got my gramma a thing of macarons. nice right? my grandma loves france and finds it beautiful, loves paris. thing is, my grandma doesnt like macarons. she likes sweets but she's not a decadent sweets person, she's a very down to earth, homemade treats person. and like. everyone knows this.

so my gramma sent in the partial family group chat (my mom, aunt gay, aunt gay's second child, and aunt j. they all do wordle together) the picture of the macarons saying "she thinks i like these"

smh aunt dip, you'd think with how much you use my gramma you would at least know she values experiences with you over gifts, let alone gifts she has no interest in.

it may seem like i'm being harsh on aunt dip, but its for good reason. she's never truly been nice to me, my family, or even her own husband and kids. she's always comparing us kids like "oh whos the better more successful child?" (at this point its me and i know how to play her games and one up her every time, tho its still not fair to her son). she's straight up lied to my mom about something as important as a pregnancy before, where my mom wanted to make sure the same thing didnt happen with my sibling that happened with me and my cousin, in that we were born so close together that everyone compared our progress to each other. my aunt ended up having her child ~4 MONTHS before my mom had my sibling. meaning my aunt KNEW she was pregnant, couldve warned my mom who asked her point blank, and she didnt until after my mom announced her pregnancy.

[taylorswiftstylequestions]

The other night I got to see Maggie Rogers for the second time ever and also for the second time since February this year, and it was an amazing show! It was an outdoor venue and near the end there was constant thunder but the rain held out until literally the last few minutes of the very last song - which unfortunately was not “Begging for Rain”, lol. There was also a very very sweet moment - during “Dog Years” there was a “lights on” moment and she seemed genuinely surprised by it and loved it so much. She did this thing where she played 3 brand new songs and for each one she had a little lyric video playing on the screen behind her on stage and I “sang along” like a dork, because holy shit these lyrics are SO GOOD! She’s posted clips on her IG but wow, oh wow. I enjoy Surrender but I don’t love it like I do Heard it in a Past Life but I think this next album will be a little more like HIIAPL.

I just wanted to share two things about one of the new songs, “Don’t Forget Me”. In the first verse there’s the lyric “I'm still trying to clean up my side of the street” and of course I immediately thought of Taylor’s “And I keep my side of the street clean” lyric in Karma, lol. And I was also reminded of how one of my other favorite artists, Dermot Kennedy, also has a new song called “Don’t Forget Me”. And both songs have a similar sentiment - about an old love moving on but you don’t want them to forget you and what you shared but you yourself also needing to move forward. And I just thought, isn’t that just amazing? Two different artists have a same song with a similar theme, and how artists just try to write these songs that end up being so specific to them about one thing but it’s also so universal at the same time? And kind of like the 1989 foreward "These songs were once about my life. They are now about yours.”, and how on the Eras tour Taylor kind of says the same thing before playing Lover? I just wanted to share :)

This was such a beautiful recap - thank you so much for sharing! I hope you had an incredible time seeing Maggie it sounds so amazing!!

[vengerfm]

[ MICHIEL HUISMAN, 1000+/APPEARS 40, CIS MAN, HE/HIS ] ELIJAH MORTENSEN just walked down main street. They are a CARPENTER & ARCHITECT who has been in Willowdale for 3 MONTHS. They are part of the MORTENSEN pack and act as ALPHA. People around town knows them as DRIVEN & OBSERVANT but also as COLD & MALICIOUS. They are described as COMFORTABLE FLANNEL SHIRTS AND WORK BOOTS DIRTIED FROM A LONG DAY OUT, THE SCENT OF CIGARETTE SMOKE AND SWEAT CLINGING TO AN OLD LEATHER JACKET, & WINDSWEPT HAIR CARELESSLY PUSHED OUT OF THE FACE ONLY TO FALL BACK IN PLACE A SHORT TIME LATER.

--- quick stats. ---

birth name: elijah kane mortensen. alias: he’s had many over his years. nickname(s): eli. title(s): alpha. age / d.o.b.: over 1000, exact age unknown.  he’s forgotten. appears 40. gender, pronouns & sexuality: cis man, he/his, demiromantic heterosexual. hometown: somewhere in the current-day netherlands region of europe. species: werewolf, born. occupation: carpenter, architect, and alpha of the mortensen pack. education: he’s gotten many degrees and certifications over his lifetime, mostly out of boredom. relationship status: single. children: quite a few over the years. positive traits: clever, driven, loyal, meticulous, observant. negative traits: aggressive, cold, hedonistic, impatient, malicious. character comparisons: vi (arcane), toph beifong (avatar: the last airbender), malcolm reynolds (firefly/serenity), indiana jones (indiana jones series), lip gallagher (shameless), arya stark (game of thrones), han solo (star wars), rosa diaz (brooklyn nine-nine), danny ocean (ocean’s 11), wolfgang bognadow (sense8), billy butcher (the boys), tyler durden (fight club), poe dameron (star wars), cassian andor (andor)

--- quick tl;dr. ---

i. eldest child of the mortensen family. a lot was placed on his shoulders are far as expectations and destiny fulfillment. initially elijah wanted none of that, and knowing that he had to trigger the werewolf gene through murder was not something he was looking foreward to. at all. he used to be a gentle boy. his parents stripped that from him as soon as they could.

ii. he had no say in his changing. his parents all but forced him into it ---over a thousand years later and he still remembers the young woman he was made to kill. he will never admit that he recalls every fine detail about her, but her face quite literally haunts his dreams. he has no idea if she was an innocent woman, if she was some sort of criminal, if she had just been pulled from the street or if there was any rhyme / reason to her selection. he can’t ask his parents, as it would make him seem weak ---and he’s mostly moved on from that moment (except he hasn’t). but these were the thoughts that occupied his mind for a long time.

iii. he became everything that the mortensen clan is known for: vicious methods, anger, fierce loyalty ---he could very much become the beast that wolf legends notoriously highlight. he does not enjoy eating humans or vampires ---something many would attribute to the mortensen pack, however elijah has made it well-known that he frowns upon this particular practice. you can be brutal and still remain somewhat humane.

iv. he’s lead the pack for centuries, seeking the guidance of his parents were necessary. after his initial change, when it was revealed that he was the alpha by birth, he took his role very seriously. eli has, for the most part, set aside his personal wants and desires for the betterment of the pack. they seek the power beneath willowdale for themselves, yes, but ultimately it’s for the health of the pack as a whole.

v. he is incredibly charming and charismatic when he wants to be. and while one might imagine that he blusters and struts around his status and his birthright, eli is actually more secretive about who and what he is, to those who cannot sense it. to those who have never met him but can tell he’s a wolf, he let’s them make assumptions. better to not play all of his cards at once than to reveal everything and be left at a disadvantage.

-- fun facts. --

i. is very much a cat person. he has a pet cat presently, chester, that he totes around with him wherever the pack goes. he is never without a cat. ---comically, he doesn’t like dogs.

ii. has many children from his many years. he doesn’t typically stick around long enough to meet them (he’s never formally been romantically involved with someone), but if one of his children seeks him out he can be quite fatherly. it depends on their disposition ---and he quite favors his wolf children over human or witch children.

iii. has many degrees and trades under his belt, but he’s always been the most fond of woodworking and carpentry. there are a few buildings throughout the united states (and overseas, when the pack was there) that he’s attributed to the design or erecting of. it’s a personal little hobby more than anything else.

iv. despite still counseling with his parents, he’s not very fond of them at all. he resents them for making him be as brutal as he is, and if he were given the choice he would absolutely have walked a different life path. but nobody knows that.

v. however, he loves his siblings, and values their opinions and input on pack matters. 

[dumbasshailey]

Before the Coffee Gets Cold by: toshikazu kawaguchi ______________________________________________________________disclaimer: I lost my keys anyone seen them? ______________________________________________________________

Before the Coffee Gets Cold is a refreshing read. It was short, straight foreward, original and touching.

The book isn't long. The one I own has 189 pages. It is split into 4 stories but all are tiny bit connected with the same place and characters so you won't feel confused or disconnected.

The characters are well written and described. They feel natural and appropriate for the story they're in.

Also did I tell you about the book cover? It's so pretty and cozy and it literally has personality. It gives the book the true coffee feel.

The stories themselves are good. They are sensable and even though some of the reviews I read disagree with me, I must say they are catchy and there definetly is a good build up. Some people said it's repeptetive. And yes. It is. But also it's the point. Like dude if an author writes the same shit again and again it's probably not because they forgot they've already written it but to build the atmosphere a bit. Also those are technically different short stories, you could pick any one of them at any point even with a two year gap between them and you would still understand what's going on. In my opinion that's a good thing. I mean yes it gets repetetive when you read the rules of the time travel for the 4th time but hey it was your decision to read this book in one siting.

The book is good. Not mind breaking, not extraordinary, but good. It's good for anyone to just pick up and read.

I did cry in the end. Judgme if you want.

8/10

[go-learn-esperanto]

Passerine Spoilers!!

And mention of graphic depictions of violence, death, suicide ideation and just very gruesome topics. Don't read if any of the topics make you uncomfortable.

I think a lot about how in Passerine Wilbur's suicidal tendencies are not as apparent as they seem in other fics, or the Dream SMP itself, but they are still are there. And those nods to them do serve a purpose in the end.

I can see them in sentences like these:

Dead. He’s dead. He’s dead and gone forever. The voices were screaming, clawing against the walls that Techno had set around them and had tried to maintain for years. All for Wilbur. All for Tommy. Now one of them was dead, and the other was dying—there was no doubt about it. Wilbur would not survive this.

From chapter 5

He’d lost count of how many times he’d caught himself looking at Wilbur, taking in his confident gait and his mess of brown curls and the dark lines under his eyes. He wished Wilbur would look back at least once, even if his stare was cold and hateful, just so Philza knew Wilbur could still see him.

Most days, it felt as if he was mourning two dead sons instead of one

From chapter 6

It was regret. Regret that he’d hurt his father, or regret that he didn’t bite harder, Philza never knew. It was the same look Wilbur was giving him now. A look that said, I’m sorry, and, at the same time, I would die just to spite you.

Chapter 6

“So that was…” Wilbur shook his head ruefully. “That was definitely something.”

“Yes,” Techno replied drily. “You nearly dying definitely was something.”

Wilbur shrugged. “Well, we’re a day’s walk away from the god that can bring me back to life anyway, so I don’t think it hardly matters.”

From chapter 6

I really like these because without the context for Wilbur's character they do seem more like an hyperbole. However I do believe all these statements do hold more truth to them than someone who doesn't know anything about the Dream SMP.

Specially in chapter 6, thanks to the ice break incident, you can really see how he is walking a fine line between being one of the strongest people Techno seems to have met, in the sense that Wilbur is going through inhospitable weather conditions to bring Tommy back when Wilbur is a mortal walking with 2 literal gods who can do it with so much ease compared to him, and just letting himself just be consumed be grief and anger and die right there.

However, I really believe that, when Techno decided to give up his immortality, the thing that pushed him to be totally certain of it was Wilbur's determination. The way that Techno could see how fragile Wilbur was but he kept going. The way Wilbur was filled with all his guilt over the death if his brother and the people he sacrificed for his country but in the end he went forewards, the way Wilbur looked at the mutilated and burnt and frozen bodies of children and adults alike of the people of his kingdom he couldn't save and kept walking, even if he had to stop a bit farther down the line as it was too much.

Because in the end, when Techno himself was weak, and despite Philza lying to Wilbur one last time and trapping himself with Dream possibly for all eternity meaning Wilbur nor Techno mostly likely would never see him again, Wilbur was the one to hold Techno and bring him home. Techno fully saw that there are numerous ways to be strong, and being a god doesn't necessarily mean you are stronger than a mortal. At least not mentally.

The message I choose to take from Passerine is that, even when you get the worse of the worse, even when you feel like everything beneath your feet is crumbling down, you can always push forward, and in doing so you might inspire others to do so as well, which is insanely well portrayed through Wilbur's character, and really helped me recently with what has been happening.

The fact that throughout all the tragedy, Wilbur and Techno from Passerine ended up living their lives is something that gives me strength to keep going, even if the times are dire.

[slightly-gay-pogohammer]

Would you consider having Jin King joining the Cooper gang a bitter choice than Panda King? since a lot of fans in the fandom disliking the storyline because of how little appearance Jing King has. Not that i agree, the Panda King is great! (and i find sly fans can be overly critical of games that don't even try to give good moral lessons-- hello you're playing as a band of thieves, one of your missions is literally called wolf massacre)

i don't think it would've worked either, but i still disagree with your points :V

panda king's presence in sly 3 is VERY important for the plot: it shows sly's attempt to walk foreward and not rely completely on his past (one of the main themes of the game, lol), brings back traumatic past experiences (again, a main theme), puts a LOT of tension between sly and bentley (something touched upon with the really annoying love "triangle" and the actually well written issues brought up by M), and in all of that gives so much more personality to a complex character such as panda king. leaving him behind and giving us his daughter instead wouldn't hit as hard.

jin king is, at the end of the day, the "thing to steal" of the episode. yes, thing. the gang wants to free her, we're shown that panda king loves his daughter a lot, and we're given a literal mysoginistic cock as a villain to drill in the idea that women aren't objects, and yet that's... what she ends up being? Even if the game give us good female characters w Penelope and Carmelita, we're still left with her not really... choosing? To do anything? at the end of the day we save her and then Panda King tells her to stay behind, and we're even presented to him threatening every single person who tries to flirt with her for haha funny memes xd instead of letting us know that she doesn't want to get married, or maybe she wants to find her own way. i'm not saying it's enough to make me dislike Panda King, or the game in general, or even just that episode --- but it's still a little. meh.

also idk how to tell you that while the gang is obviously corrupt abd fucked up and a bunch of bastards through the series, they very often are presented as the undoubtly good guys. again, even if the result isn't the best, they really drill in the idea that Jin King is her own person here literally one of the few times I can say they're undoubtly in the wrong is exactly during the Holland episode (where "wolf massacre" takes place) where they cheat their way to the Black Baron, and even then we're told that everyone in the competition cheats and the baron has no problems killing people; they might act selfishly, sometimes, but wether by accident or on purpose they do what's right.

the Sly series often talks about sexism (for better or worse, lol), environmentalism and classism, actively criticizing those who hurt people "weaker" than them and destroy nature for profit. Sly himself comments that his work and Carmelita's aren't that different more than once, and specifically says that the only thing dividing them is that she must stay there and wait for orders while he does whatever he wants

[lov3nerdstuff]

Hi Kay!

I just wanted to take a moment and say how deeply moving (and overall comforting) I find your writing to be! I've gone through almost the entirety of your masterlist twice in the past month alone and have found myself returning more often to the pieces of literature/poems your reference sometimes. (Especially that one poem by Benedict Smith! I've read a few more by him because of you and they're just wonderfully lovely 💛 so I'm eternally thankful to you for including it.)

I may be wrong in assuming, but I believe you may have studied/are currently studying a degree involving literature. I hope this isn't too foreward of me but I was wandering if you have any other works of literature that you'd recommend? (I'd love to read anything you recommend from poems to plays 💛) I'm slightly embaressed to say but the works I've read are quite limited to a highschool level and since I'm currently studying Pharmacy, there are very few people who can recommend me such moving works. :)

I also feel like I should apologise for writing such a large ask, so please accept this apology as well hehe 💕🥺

Sincerely,

Bek 🌻

Hey there Bek 💚💕✨

First of all... I'm incredibly sorry for how long it took me to reply to this ask, I know you sent it weeks ago and I'm honestly just ashamed of myself for only replying now! I've been taking a bit of a Tumblr break again, or rather a break from literally everything, and I guess not having written anything in a while made me feel guilty whenever I opened Tumblr, so... All I can say for myself really is that I'm sorry you had to wait so long! Again, I never ever ignore anyone, I promise! It just sometimes takes a while for me to reply 😅🙈

Now, I'm so happy to hear that you've been enjoying my writing! 🥺🥰 Hearing that it's comforting and inspiring to you is honestly such a relief and indeed does make me happy more than I can say 💚 It's so cool that you're checking up on all the references I make aaahhh 🥺🥺🥺 I love it 😁 You're always more than welcome, love! I don't think I could stop including references to literature, culture, history and the science around it even if I tried 😅☺️

And yeah, I did study classics and newer literature as a minor for my undergrad degree 😄 But tbh I still work with literally a lot even now (I'm in grad school for media and cultural studies) even though it's technically not something I've been properly taught ☺️ I'm just a nerd who likes to learn on her own, and with media and culture you can pretty much delve into almost anything you want 😂😅🤷🏻‍♀️

Now, it's not forward at all to ask me for literature recommendations! 😁😃 I truly love recommending stuff!!! I have a few up my sleeve, even though you've probably heard of a few already, for obvious reasons: A lot of what I truly enjoyed reading was something Tom Hiddleston has worked on in one way or another! It's truly a magnificent guideline for picking new literature... Just look up the literary origins of his films/shows/plays and you will be in for quality literature most of the time! I don't think I've ever mentioned it on here, but me reading High-Rise (JG Ballard) because I heard Tom would be partaking in the film adaptation was actually what sparked my love and passion for literature!!! Yep, it's that good. Now on to the recommendations though 😁(This... got rather long):

Plays

Anything by Harold Pinter really, but for obvious reasons you'll find a lot of additionally fun stuff for Betrayal, which is lovely and truly funny if you're in on the kind of humour btw

Medea by Euripides (a classic, but I love it nonetheless... You can find translations in almost every language) ((and pls stay away from Seneca's Medea, because ugh... Euripides is far better AND the og story, as much as anyone can say that for Greek mythology)

La Bohème by Puccini (I know, this is technically an opera, but if you read the libretto it's honestly just like a play... And if you're up for it, the og story is in prose and written by Henri Murger... It's better than the opera, but oftentimes more difficult to find) ((this one is hilarious and basically explains an entire cultural subgroup in the 19th century)

Faust by Goethe (many people hate it, but I LOVE this one!!! It's also been translated into any and every language, and it's so interesting philosophically!!! It's also referenced SO freaking often literally everywhere, and the operas and ballets based on it are always my fave) ((there's technically Faust I and Faust II, but you're good to go just reading the first one)

Anything by Shakespeare, obviously... Though I do love me my Hamlet like every other literature enthusiast (Yes, I can do that one famous soliloquy in act 3 scene 1 by heart as well...)

Poetry

Again, anything Shakespeare for the win, but I LOVE the sonnets and keep a copy of them with me most of the time (Yes, I own multiple copies of the sonnets...) ((My faves are 116 and 91, but there's always so much truth to be found in there!!!))

A lot of the stuff William Blake wrote is amazing, though you have to pick carefully with him if certain religious motives aren't your thing... I love The Tyger, which is an individual poem, and the collection of works called Tyger, Tyger which does have many good ones and a few ones that are a little more on the mediocre side

Do not go gentle into that good night by Dylan Thomas (I know this one by heart as well... It's beautiful, and there's a version of Hiddleston reading it on YouTube, which gives you even more goosebumps than the poem does anyway)

Invictus by William Ernest Henley (same for this one, also read by the one and only) ((I love to read this when I'm feeling down or powerless))

The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock by T. S. Eliot (This is another wow piece with many quotable lines and truths... I love it a lot and keep coming back to it! It's also a great example of how literary modernism tried to condense the complexity and passing of time and history into a single frame that had to be intrinsically poetical in nature... As in, this poem could've been a short story in any other period, but modernists loved to make everything a poem so here you go)

Der Zauberlehrling by Goethe (This one sucks in all English translations I’ve found, poetically speaking, but in German it’s such a fun piece! If you’ve ever seen the Disney ‘The Sorcerer’s Apprentice’ with Mickey Mouse or listened to the orchestral piece by Paul Dukas, then this poem proves very useful in truly understanding either! But again, the English translation should only be taken for informational value... The German one is also worded hilariously)

Prose

Short edited by Alan Ziegler (This is a collection of short prose forms that honestly is a must for me... I love this book to pieces and have had it for years now! It’s an international anthology, so you’ll find more and less famous authors from all around the world represented with short stories, prose poems, short essays and just curious and interesting snippets of writing! I draw a lot of inspiration from this book)

High-Rise by JG Ballard (As mentioned above, I owe this book part of my personality... I don’t think I would be the same person without having read it. It’s not necessarily full of wisdom, but if you’re interested in a different kind of portrayal of the human condition, then this is the read you need to take a look at)

The City of Dreaming Books by Walter Moers (This is another piece that changed my perception of literature, even though this is a more ordinary and ‘fun’-value read... It’s one of my favourite books and it’s endlessly entertaining! So if the classics are a bit heavy for you, this one is perfect for casual readers as well! Its value really does lie more in the realisation of how fun literature can be, and the freedom you have as an author... So really, I could recommend everything by Moers, his style is amazing both in the German original and in the English translation. Yes, I’ve read both.)

Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett (This is comedic gold, stylistic gold and generally a bloody perfect book. Also a ‘fun’-value read, but it also does a magnificent job at showing you what you can do with literature, and how well-developed characters are supposed to be written)

The Penguin Book of the Undead (Penguin Classics) edited by Scott G. Bruce (This book is basically an education on fifteen hundred years of supernatural encounters and how culture wrote, used and perceived them. You get introductory texts for different periods and social groups, explaining how and why ghost stories were written and used, followed by passages of the prime source texts (eg. ancient necromancy shown on The Odyssey). Really, this book is just for cultural history nerds)

The Earthquake in Chile by Kleist (This isn’t necessarily one of my faves, but it has helped me understand what studying literature and culture can do for you. In case anyone remembers my insistence in Wicked Game that you gotta know what a pomegranate symbolises... this novella is such an instance where this knowledge would prove useful. Generally, it gives many opportunities to think about privilege and circumstance)

The Symposium by Plato (You’ll probably not want to read the entire collection of speeches tbh... But the concepts introduced mainly here and in some of Plato’s other work are well worth looking into! For example, the ‘double being’ introduces a concept that in modern fiction is called soulmates... Just sayin’)

[maybebanks]

Love, Not War

JJ Maybank x pogue! reader

based on outerbanks episode The Forbidden Zone where Rafe and Topper jump Y/n and Pope on a grocery run. If only it was possible to keep JJ from finding out

⚠️: assault and swearing

“Y/n what do you say?” Pope encouraged. He gave you an awkward smile, as his dad handed him a grocery bag for each hand.

“Sure, why not,” you shrugged, hopping on to Heyward boat.

“I promised delivery by this afternoon. Thanks, Y/n,” Heyward smiled.

“If she’s going then I’m comin’ too,” JJ added reaching out to Heyward as he gave JJ two bags, JJ lazily dropped them as if they were heavy.

“Rich people don’t want to wait for you lazy sons of.. Aw, thank you, JJ,” Heyward said sarcastically.

You rolled your eyes at JJ, he just smirked.

“Great,” you groaned.

“What? You think I’d let you get all the sweet tips?” JJ defended, wrapping his arm around your shoulder and pulling you into his chest.

You pushed him back, “get off of me. I’m sick of you following me around. I can literally never catch a break,”

JJ looked slightly offended, but he brushed it off, “I’m not following you. I just need the cash. Chill,”

“Pope?” You asked, “let’s get a move on,” you tried to ignore JJ. But you felt him closing in on you at any moment of independence. John B kept telling you that JJ just wanted to protect you. You had no idea why, and when you confronted JJ about it he just denied.

When you arrived at a Figure Eight dock, JJ hopped off and held out a hand for you, you reluctantly accepted.

“Alright so, there’s a few deliveries my dad already completed...” Pope mumbled.

JJ interrupted, “Just get on with it Pope, where do you want Y/n and I to deliver-“

“Wait hold up! I’m not going with you,” you said to JJ.

“Why not?” he asked, completely surprised.

“I’m going with Pope. We’ll take the golf course route, right? The one that we did last week,” you mentioned.

Pope nodded, “sure, Y/n,”

“Awe come on...Fine,” JJ groaned, “your loss,”

You felt relieved as you grabbed a carton of milk and a bag of groceries. Pope nodded you over to him and you both split off from JJ, saluting him goodbye.

You and Pope walked for about five minutes, “it doesn’t even look like the storm hit here,”

“Lucky kooks,” you muttered.

Before Pope could agree, you heard the all to familiar taunting of Rafe Cameron.

“Hey, what’s up guys? Y/n, lookin’ hot as ever! And Pope, why don’t you share some of those beers!” Rafe shouted. Approaching the both of you with Topper.

You and Pope tried to walk past them, but they blocked your path with their golf clubs, “how much for one of those beers?” Rafe chuckled, but he was serious.

When you opened your mouth, it was dry, and you couldn’t make a snarkey comeback.

“They’re not for sale,” Pope told them stepping back.

Rafe smirked and eyes you up and down. You ignored him and tried to continue walking.

Rafe then grabbed your shoulders, “Wait, wait, wait.”

“Rafe, we don’t want any trouble,” you said, pushing his hands off.

He scoffs, “don’t want any trouble? You here that, Top? Pogue Princess doesn’t want trouble!” Rafe joked. He called you pogue princess as a nickname since grade school.

“I’m serious, get out of our way,” you ordered, clinging tight to the bags of groceries in your hands.

“We just want some beers,” Topper said, pulling on what Pope was holding.

“These are already paid for!” Pope argued as he struggled with Topper.

Topper yanked them away from him, sending Pope tumbling in the sand, “you guys are frickin crazy!” He shouted.

“Pope!” You exclaimed as you stepped foreward to help him. As you reached over, Rafe stepped infront of you and swung his golf club in the air.

You flinched at the fact that he almost hit you and lost balance, falling away from Pope on the sand.

Rafe’s club collided with Popes back, and he yelled in pain.

Quickly you got up, “stop it, you asshole!” You screamed at Rafe, punching him in the face from the side.

He was taken aback for sure, but not harmed enough, “you think you can order us around, on our turf, pogue!”

He turned and shoved your shoulders, pushing you to the ground.

Then he stood over you, a foot on either side of your waist.

You groaned in pain as his shadow towered over you, “I never thought I’d get this chance,” he mumbled, looking down at you, studying your every feature.

You ignored him, looking over at Pope, topper wasn’t beating him anymore, but there was blood in his mouth.

While you were distracted, Rafe started to make a pass at you, his hands moved up your shirt, and groped your chest.

You squirmed, “what the-“ you fought against him. Creating a small wave of dust from the sand.

Rafe’s large hand caressed your cheek, “It’s gonna feel so good to get with Maybank’s girl,”

“Wha- I’m not his you bastard!” You screamed, punching his leg.

He laughed, then got down to his knees, trapping you beneath him.

“Get off!” You screamed, shoving against his shoulders. Rafe grabbed your wrists and pinned them by the sides of your head.

“Dirty ass pogue,” he spit.

“Shit!” Topper noticed your screaming and was surprised by what Rafe was doing, “Dude, what are you doing, man?!”

“Just...” he breathed, “having fun with my favorite Pogue!” He chuckled, moving one hand to lift your shirt.

You felt sick as the material slid up your waist.

“Rafe,” Topper said uneasily, “Rafe, man, knock it off!”

Rafe didn’t listen, and Pope was now starting to force himself to stand.

“Come on! Let’s go Rafe! Seriously!” Topper exclaimed.

Rafe looked at you again, then he scratched his neck and spit right down on you. And slowly stood up, joining Topper and grabbing his club.

“We don’t want you over here. You got that? Stay off figure eight pogues!” Rafe ordered, chuckling as Topper continued to tell him it was time to leave.

“See ya!” Rafe shouted, heading up the hill.

Topper was breathing heavily, he stared at you, still on the floor, as you fixed your shirt.

His mouth parted as if he was going to say something.

“Top, let’s go! Hey, let’s go!” Rafe shouted.

You struggled to control your breathing.

Topper glanced at Pope again before leaving. When they were finically out of sight, you got up to see Pope.

His cries were in pain and he was still lying on his back, you grabbed his head and told him to spit the blood out.

“Hey, hey it’s okay. You’ll be okay,” you grabbed his hat and put it on his head, then slowly helped him stand.

“Let’s just go home,” Pope said, putting his arm around you as you helped him walk back to the dock.

You were every bit as traumatized as him, but your solution was to bury it deep. Try not to dwell on it, at least until the time came. This wasn’t the best method to deal with your pain, but it was better than having everyone know about the sick bullshit you just went through.

You and Pope got to the boat, he sat in the drivers seat. Just staring off straight into space.

“Hey, start the boat,” you mentioned.

He didn’t want to talk much, “JJ,” was all he said.

“Shit,” you muttered. You didn’t want to see JJ right now. There were so many reasons.

“Pope, hey, Pope. You can’t tell JJ about this. Please. Okay? None of the Pogues. Not Kie or John B either,” you rambled.

Pope didn’t answer, but before you could insist, you flinched at the sudden sound of yelling.

“Y/n! Pope! You’re not going to belive what just happened to me! Whoo! That was the best 100 bucks I’ve ever made! When I say count me in on all these grocery deliveries, Pope, I mean it,” JJ exclaimed happily. He winked when he saw you sitting in the back, you just pursed your lips in response.

“What’s up with you?” JJ asked when Pope didn’t answer, “Bro, you good?”

Your heart ached to say something, to tell Pope to keep his mouth shut. But would that make you look even more suspicious?

JJ looked at you, and then back at Pope, leaning in closer and inspecting him, “Yo,” he paused, “what happened to your face, dude,” JJ asked, then he reached for Popes hat, covering part of the damage.

Pope tried to stop him, but JJ saw enough, “Jesus!” JJ expressed, looking at you now.

“What happened?” JJ demanded.

Pope’s eyes remained on the water.

JJ clenched his jaw. Looking from you to Pope again and again.

Before you could lie, say something, anything, Pope deadpanned, “Rafe and Topper jumped me,”

JJ looked back, his jaw still clenched. You could tell he was angry, “Did they get Y/n?” He asked Pope.

“They said no pogues on their side of the island,” Pope said, steering the boat towards home.

JJ scoffed, “Y/n are ya hurt?” JJ asked, stepping closer.

“No. I’m fine JJ. Back off,” you warned, getting up and moving to the open part of the boat.

JJ felt defeated, and angry, “you better not lie to me Y/n!” He shouted at you.

“Lie to you?! You’re the fucking liar!!” You screamed, only part of your volume getting lost in the wind.

“Me? ‘Fuck did I do?!” JJ shouted.

“If you hadn’t pulled that gun...” Pope started.

“You seriously gonna blame this shit on me! Yo, Topper was gonna drown-“ JJ retaliated.

Pope interrupted him, “Look, were not gonna talk about this now,”

JJ clenched his jaw, “This is war.”

You could’ve argued with JJ more, you wanted to know what he had done to convince Rafe that you were “Maybank’s girl”, but you closed the bottle your emotions lived in, and were silent the whole rest of the day.

-

You took a deep breath as you stared at JJ across from you.

The earlier events were playing in your mind like an endless loop. You knew Rafe’s motivation for doing it, but why did he call you “Maybank’s girl”? Why did he have to bring JJ into it? Did it have anything to do with the fact that recently JJ has been hovering over you like-

“Y/n what is up with you?” John B asked you as you sat on his couch, watching the pogues talk about whatever they usually did.

You shrugged, taking a drag of a blunt JJ made.

“Maybe JJ knows,” Kie suggests, tapping John B on the shoulder.

“Ugh,” you groaned, there was so much you wanted to say to JJ, or yell at him.

“JJ?” John B asked, pointing to you.

“Beats me. She’s been acting like a bitch ever since...uh ever since she called me a liar. She’s the one who’s lying! I mean look at her! Telling us she’s fine,” JJ tells him.

“God, JJ! You are such an asshole!” You screamed, getting up and throwing your hot blunt right at him.

“Jes- What the fuck? You can’t just throw a lit blunt at me!” JJ shouted.

“And YOU can’t go around telling people I belong to you!” You shouted, instantly regretting what you said.

“What the hell is happening?” Kiara pointed out.

“Who the fuck told you that?” JJ questioned, slightly softer now.

“No one. Whatever. I’m leaving,” you stated, heading towards the door.

“You’re just gonna walk away?!” JJ shouted.

“Yeah I am! I can’t deal with you right now,” you groaned, opening the door.

Instantly, JJ was beside you, he slammed the door closed, preventing you from leaving, “we need to talk,” he said.

“No we don’t. Let me go,” you pleaded, “I don’t have anything to say to you,”

JJ scoffed, looking away from you for support from the rest of the group.

“Y/n he’s gonna find out soon enough...” Pope interjected.

“Pope! Shut your mouth.” You demanded, at this, pope adjusted his hat in nervousness.

Kie looked at you with frustration, “stop taking out whatever your going through on us!”

“Fine! I’ll leave!” You exclaimed.

Shoving JJ harshly off of the door.

Taken aback, he stumbled. He looked extremely hurt, but you didn’t have time to dwell on it. You opened the door, slamming it on the way out, and left the chateau.

-

You stopped at the pantry and grabbed something to drink before heading up to your room.

You were mad and needed to blow off some steam, being home alone helped that.

You sauntered up the stairs and opened the door to your room, it was dark in there so you turned backwards and found the light switch.

When you turned around, you practically screamed when you saw JJ on your bed.

“What the fuck,” you muttered, annoyed.

“I thought we needed to talk,” JJ started.

“Yeah and you also thought 9+10 was 19,” you joked, groaning as you collapsed on the bed next to where JJ was.

“Y/n I’m serious,” JJ added.

“So am I.” You responded.

“Talk to me. Tell me what’s...what you meant before,” JJ stuttered, he didn’t really know exactly what he expected from this.

“You’re not listening,” you mumble.

“Fine. I’ll listen,”

“Okay. Then go. Leave me alone. I don’t need this. I’m sick of it. And you’re the fucking reas...okay just um please leave,”

“I’m not going to let you push us away. I’m staying. And I’ll be here, if you’ll talk to me,” JJ said kindly. He was almost pleading.

“I’m scared.” You blurted.

JJ’s eyebrows furrowed, “scared of what?”

You sat up, looking at the floor, “um..how you’ll react,”

“Y/n. What is it you need to tell me,” JJ says.

“Look...uh...have you been telling kooks that we’re dating, that I’m yours?” you asked, staring him directly in the eyes.

JJ broke the eye contact, “I thought...uh..I thought it would keep them off your back,”

“What?! Oh my god I’m gonna kill you! You’re such an idiot!” You groaned.

“Why?” He added a slight chuckle, “it worked didn’t it?”

You frowned, at that’s when JJ knew. Something was more wrong than what he thought.

“Who? Was it Rafe? It was wasn’t it! Today, with Pope! Rafe fucking hit you didn’t he!”

“JJ! Calm down! He didn’t,” you told him.

“No use in lying.” JJ stated.

“He just said some things. That’s all! I swear,” you plead.

“What’d he say? Hm?” JJ asked, clearly provoked.

“This is why I didn’t want to tell you...”

“See the thing is...you didn’t fucking tell me anything!” JJ exclaimed.

“Fine! Okay. Calm down though,”

JJ nodded.

“He said “it’s gonna feel so good...to get with Maybank’s girl.” I- Idon’t know I don’t really remember,” you told JJ.

JJs mind went to all sorts of places, was it his fault. It was a protective mechanism, telling those kooks that you were his. But turns out it was just a way to get a rise out of him.

He could feel his heart rate quicken.

“JJ, hey, JJ please calm down. I’m right here. He didn’t get me. Topper didn’t let him,” you said.

“So...so he would’ve...he would’ve uh...” JJ trailed off, almost loosing breath, “Y/n he’s gonna pay for that. This war is not fucking over,”

“No. No JJ. Please stop. He didn’t do it. So you don’t have to worry. This isn’t an excuse to start another battle. You need to be done,” you demanded.

“I’m not going to be done! He tried! And I wasn’t there! I’m always there! And yet he still found a way,”

“Maybe that’s the problem,” you suggested.

JJ took a sharp deep breath, “so what are you saying? You don’t want me around?”

“JJ...” you trailed off.

You saw JJ’s eyes water, he then blinked rapidly, and threw his red hat over his head as a distraction.

Once he blinked all the tears away, he stood up.

“Wait...don’t-don’t leave,” you sighed, grabbing his bicep gently.

“I have something to do anyway,” he shrugged your hand off, walking out the door.

You wanted to say something again, to call after him, but the only sound that came out was a sob. And you fell to the floor, a hand pressed against the cold bedroom door.

-

JJ could only hear his footsteps as he walked against the pavement, or rather, individually arranged stones, it was a kook house after all.

JJs mind wasn’t clear, he didn’t exactly know why he was at Toppers door. He just hoped he could get more of an explanation than he did from you.

Toppers mother answered the door, “Can I help you?” She asked impatiently.

“I need to talk to Topper. Is he home?” JJ asked.

The woman eyed him up and down. Judging his outfit and his demeanor.

“I will send him out,” she muttered, slight disgust in her tone.

JJ shuffed in his boots while he waited. And when the door opened again, and he saw Toppers gelled blond head, his eyes lit up.

“What do you want?” Topper demanded, his arms folded over his chest, “you got a lot of nerve comin’ here, man,”

“We need to talk. You need to tell me exactly what the hell happened to Y/n today,” JJ asserted.

“Aw look dude, I had no idea Rafe was gonna do that, man. I swear on my life,” Topper assured.

“What. Happened.” JJ persisted.

“Rafe just got on top of her and shit. She was violated for sure. But I stopped him before he did anything serious,” Topper explained.

“So...uh...you stopped him from touching her?” JJ asked, surprising Topper by how much he cared.

“Yeah man, I know she’s like your girl and stuff, Rafe was being a dick honestly,”

“This kind of thing won’t happen again,” JJ threatened, before quickly turning his back and leaving The Eight.

-

JJ sat on a rock near the swampy wasteland John B’s place over looked.

Kie approached him, “hey...I know things are not going well with Y/n. And I know you love her-“

“I don’t want to hear it Kiara. I just want to think,”

“About what?”

“About what I’m going to say to Y/n. I don’t even know where to start. I mean..do I apologize? And for what?”

“Oh,” Kie paused, “I think you should just be there for her. Don’t push her, just be yourself. But you know...less um protective,”

“I don’t want her to tell me what to do. I know if I go over there she’s gonna try and stop me from kicking Rafe’s ass,” JJ groans.

“Maybe she has a good reason,” Kie supported.

“Just talk to her, okay? Just be there for her. She needs you,”

“She doesn’t make it seem that way,” JJ groaned.

“It’s because she’s a lot like you. Hiding her pain. You’re the perfect person for her. She just doesn’t know it yet.”