#this is moby again because why not

[stacys-museum]

[anthonycrowley]

‘well punk is rooted in socialist beliefsssssss’ okay cool. call yourself a socialist and get out of my music subgenre

[kyouka-supremacy]

doesn’t aku smile at gin? when we first see them together

I'm afraid he doesn't 😭😭😭

[fuckyeahgoodomens]

Terry Pratchett about fantasy ❤

Terry Pratchett interview in The Onion, 1995 (x)

O: You’re quite a writer. You’ve a gift for language, you’re a deft hand at plotting, and your books seem to have an enormous amount of attention to detail put into them. You’re so good you could write anything. Why write fantasy?

Terry: I had a decent lunch, and I’m feeling quite amiable. That’s why you’re still alive. I think you’d have to explain to me why you’ve asked that question.

O: It’s a rather ghettoized genre.

Terry: This is true. I cannot speak for the US, where I merely sort of sell okay. But in the UK I think every book— I think I’ve done twenty in the series— since the fourth book, every one has been one the top ten national bestsellers, either as hardcover or paperback, and quite often as both. Twelve or thirteen have been number one. I’ve done six juveniles, all of those have nevertheless crossed over to the adult bestseller list. On one occasion I had the adult best seller, the paperback best-seller in a different title, and a third book on the juvenile bestseller list. Now tell me again that this is a ghettoized genre.

O: It’s certainly regarded as less than serious fiction.

Terry: (Sighs) Without a shadow of a doubt, the first fiction ever recounted was fantasy. Guys sitting around the campfire— Was it you who wrote the review? I thought I recognized it— Guys sitting around the campfire telling each other stories about the gods who made lightning, and stuff like that. They did not tell one another literary stories. They did not complain about difficulties of male menopause while being a junior lecturer on some midwestern college campus.

Fantasy is without a shadow of a doubt the ur-literature, the spring from which all other literature has flown. Up to a few hundred years ago no one would have disagreed with this, because most stories were, in some sense, fantasy. Back in the middle ages, people wouldn’t have thought twice about bringing in Death as a character who would have a role to play in the story. Echoes of this can be seen in Pilgrim’s Progress, for example, which hark back to a much earlier type of storytelling. The epic of Gilgamesh is one of the earliest works of literature, and by the standard we would apply now— a big muscular guys with swords and certain godlike connections— That’s fantasy. The national literature of Finland, the Kalevala. Beowulf in England. I cannot pronounce Bahaghvad-Gita but the Indian one, you know what I mean. The national literature, the one that underpins everything else, is by the standards that we apply now, a work of fantasy.

Now I don’t know what you’d consider the national literature of America, but if the words Moby Dick are inching their way towards this conversation, whatever else it was, it was also a work of fantasy. Fantasy is kind of a plasma in which other things can be carried. I don’t think this is a ghetto. This is, fantasy is, almost a sea in which other genres swim. Now it may be that there has developed in the last couple of hundred years a subset of fantasy which merely uses a different icongraphy, and that is, if you like, the serious literature, the Booker Prize contender. Fantasy can be serious literature. Fantasy has often been serious literature. You have to fairly dense to think that Gulliver’s Travels is only a story about a guy having a real fun time among big people and little people and horses and stuff like that. What the book was about was something else. Fantasy can carry quite a serious burden, and so can humor. So what you’re saying is, strip away the trolls and the dwarves and things and put everyone into modern dress, get them to agonize a bit, mention Virginia Woolf a few times, and there! Hey! I’ve got a serious novel. But you don’t actually have to do that.

(Pauses) That was a bloody good answer, though I say it myself.

[noearchives]

one piece boys + first kiss headcanons

pairings: portgas d. ace x gn!reader, trafalgar d. water law x gn!reader, sanji x gn! reader, roronoa zoro x gn! reader

a.n.: a sweet little something. :)

cw: none, a trace amount of suggestive content in sanji's and ace's part if you squint really hard...

portgas d. ace

- happens when both of you are a bit tipsy after a drink or two during a party on the moby dick.

- has kissed a few people here and there (nothing too serious), so he has a bit of experience.

- is good with his tongue, this boy.

- very impatient too.

- that's why after one or two close-mouthed kisses, he’s already slipped his tongue inside your mouth.

- like oh okay! didn't know we were going this fast!

- despite the quick pace, it’s not difficult to pick up. you kiss him like you’ve done it thousands of times before already, and you don't really need to think about what you're doing when you kiss because it just comes to you Naturally.

- it feels like it’s burning, to the point where you suspect ace has unintentionally activated his devil fruit to melt your tongues together.

- is so into it to the point where he didn't even notice when his hat fell off.

- you'd have to pat him on the back twice to make him let go of you because he will Not notice how you're already out of breath.

- leaves you dizzy and breathless. in a way that makes you want more.

- "let's take this to my room, yeah?"

trafalgar d. water law

- you waited for ages for the right timing for him to kiss you first, but it never seemed to come.

- see, the captain of the heart pirates never had the time nor mood for things like this.

- so when you asked if you could kiss him, he panicked a little. just a little.

- he tries to play it cool, but when you’re 1cm away from his lips, it’s like you're holding a gun to his head, frozen in place with his eyes squeezed shut.

- for the first two seconds of the kiss, he’s a little grossed out by the flesh-to-flesh feeling and the thought of the bacteria that’s being exchanged between the both of you is making his head spin a little.

- but as your lips part and connect with his again, he slowly melts into the kiss, copying your movements as you continue.

- it’s not a super passionate kiss or anything, but it leaves his whole body buzzing with his heartbeat thrumming in his ears.

- this feeling is so foreign to him- but somehow, he wants more of it, and he wants to know everything about it.

- "can we do that again?”

sanji

- it happened during one of those moments where it’s late at night and all his emotions bubble up to the back of his throat.

- you were the one who initiated the kiss because he kept rambling, going on and on about how much he loves you and how he doesn't deserve you, how a filthy man like him shouldn't be with a beauty like you, eventually spiralling into self-hate.

- it gets to the point where you had to shut him up with a kiss, to prove that yes, you actually want him, and no, he is not a filthy, unlovable man.

- god, your lips are so soft. he might just start crying.

- he doesn't, of course, so he won’t ruin the moment.

- the kiss is soft and tender, but he soon becomes desperate for more and it escalates into something further, the sentimental moment taking a one hundred-and-eighty degree turn.

- it’s strange, because he was just sulking over himself, and now his hands are all over you, fingers hiking up your shirt as the kiss grows deeper.

- the moment your lips are parted, you give him a light-hearted scold.

- “apologies, my love. you're just a little too irresistible.”

roronoa zoro

- catches you absolutely off guard. surprisingly, he’s the one who kisses you first rather than the other way around.

- it happened so casually- you were hanging out with the strawhats, a drink in your hands as zoro bent down to kiss you as he was passing by.

- he didn't say a word. just a swift kiss that lingers on your lips, leaving your ears and cheeks burning.

- it was bold of him to kiss you out of nowhere- in front of everyone too, telling everyone that you're his, and his only.

- (probably to also piss sanji off while doing so.)

- when you ask the swordsman about it a while later when the two of you are alone, he just answers with a longer, deeper kiss.

- “no more questions,” he mumbles against your lips. “do you want the kiss or not?”

- of course, you reply with your lips on his. actions speak louder than words, afterall.

[bleedingoptimism]

Eddie was ugly when he was a kid. Ugly with a capital U. And not like, his peers said he was, so he thought he was ugly, but he really wasn’t, no. He was UGLY. Big bottomless eyes, a big round nose, big mouth, full lips, small face, and with his head shaved even his ears looked too big. Plus he was thin and long-limbed... He looked like a bug! He was U-G-L-Y

But it’s okay. It’s just a universal truth and not a problem anymore because he grew up. And he grew into the too-big features that made him look bad. Now they are part of his charm. He grew up and he looks good now, and he knows it. His big dark eyes, his round nose, and his plump lips are attractive features now. 

The thing is, it didn’t bother him then, and it doesn’t bother him now. It’s an inconsequential matter, laughable really. So why is he wrestling Steve Harrington in his living room to stop him from looking at the photo he found while cleaning up Wayne’s trailer? Who knows, maybe, and just maybe he doesn’t want to hear Steve call him ugly. Maybe he’s vain like that. Maybe he doesn’t want the most beautiful boy he’s ever met to think he’s ugly. Maybe he doesn’t need confirmation that Steve will never notice him like that because he’s so out of his league they are not even playing the same sport. Not that Eddie knows anything about sports. Whatever.

Steve had come over to help him move out. He is moving in with Jeff to a tiny place that’s closer to college and Eddie had wanted to surprise Wayne by giving him back his room and leaving it spotless and fit for a grown man. And Steve had kindly offered to help when he’d told him about it.

They were just finishing up boxing some books when a photo fell out of an old copy of Moby Dick. Why was it there in the first place?! Eddie’s eyes had gone wide when he saw it was a ridiculous photo of him, standing straight and with a huge smile on his face hanging on to a pass-me-down backpack on his first day of school. He’d dived to the floor to try and grab it but when Steve saw he didn’t want him to see what it was…

Steve wanted to know what it was now, obviously.

He took the photo and ran back to the living room, screaming and laughing with Eddie close behind as he screamed bloody murder and jumped on top of him, clinging to his back. Steve stopped just long enough not to let him fall but then started running again trying to shake him off. Eddie let himself fall off Steve and grabbed him by the waist, pulling him close to him to try to grab the photo that Steve, giggling uncontrollably, was keeping at arm's length.

Eventually, when their lungs couldn’t get enough air, they stopped struggling and sighed in unison, which prompted another laughing fit. And then, Steve looked at the photo, with Eddie still holding onto him from behind, looking over his shoulder.

When he saw the picture again Eddie flinched waiting for Steve’s laugh. And laugh he did but not meanly, instead he said,

“Oh my god, Eddie you were so cute!” 

“Shut up. No, I wasn’t” he answered with a scoff. Then, and just then, he noticed the position they were in. How close he was standing to Steve. He swallowed loudly and looked at Steve, to see if he noticed too, to see if he’d pull away.

But Steve was smiling at the photo, biting his lip and letting little giggles escape from time to time, “You were!” he insists. 

Eddie laughs, “Dude, stop I was not. You don’t have to mean about it” starting to get a little annoyed but Steve shakes his head looking way too sincere.

“You are not serious,” Eddie frowns searching his eyes which are still looking at the picture, “Look at my tiny face and the ears!” He says exasperated.

Steve chuckles again, “I know, they are huge! And the eyes! Oh my god- You looked like a bug Eddie-!” he laughs, and yep. There it is. Eddie thinks bitterly- “You were so pretty!” Steve exclaims actually cooing at him.

And wait- 

“You are ridiculous” Eddie laughs and Steve finally turns to look at him and notices how close they are. He blushes furiously and Eddie is so close to his face that he can feel the heat on his cheeks now. Eddie removes his hands from Steve’s waist so he doesn’t feel trapped by him, but moves his face a fraction closer and smirks flirtingly at him, “Were?” he asks.

Steve blinks at him and Eddie can feel his eyes moving across his face as if it were a caress. He looks at his eyes, his nose, his jaw, his lips, he swallows and his eyelids fall a little before he looks back up at Eddie’s eyes and smiles shyly before he says, “Are. You are pretty.” and Eddie closes the distance between them. 

💋

a drink? ☕🥐💕

[bby-deerling]

one piece men: when you're jealous (vol. ii)

more jealousy headcanons! these are also a bit suggestive (mainly kid's part) so beware! cross guild is next >:^)

ft. luffy, ace, kid

vol. i (zoro, sanji, law) || masterlist

luffy

a chance meetup with the kuja pirates has soured your mood as you watch luffy and hancock from afar. the food is far more mesmerizing to him than she is, but the way she purposely keeps you apart from your partner; as you hear her swoon again about the prospect of marriage, you sigh and hang your head.

luffy is the type to notice something is wrong and ask about it, forcing you to fess up about how you're feeling to him. he doesn't understand why you're so worked up about hancock's doting over him; after all, he's with you and not her! if you bring it up with him, he will giggle and laugh before ruffling your hair and telling you not to worry so much about something stupid.

pointing out the way she excludes you prompts him to either confront her, making hancock flustered as she tries to defend herself good luck, she's even more angry at you now, or just shoehorns you into any conversation that he's in by force. he loves you and doesn't want you to feel left out!

telling him you're jealous will make him be more physically affectionate, pulling you close and looping one of his arms multiple times around your waist while he shoves food into his face with the other. expect sloppy kisses that leave crumbs on your cheek. (he will lick them off, don't worry!)

ace

you're no stranger to the amount of heads that ace turns, but the familiarity of it doesn't dull the pain. he's beautiful, polite, charismatic, and kind; it makes him a magnet, and sometimes he can't separate himself from the pull. he was supposed to bring your drink back ages ago, but two women hang on his arms at the bar—that is until he falls asleep and slumps over onto the ground.

when ace wakes up, he is all smiles upon noticing he's curled up in his own bed on the moby dick; his grin falls when he sees you're clearly upset with him. at first he thinks it's because you and marco had to go to the trouble of dragging him back to the ship, but he can't help but laugh when you tell him it's because you were jealous.

he insists he was only being friendly, and that he was really going to be right back with your drinks, but you accuse him of liking the attention and he can see the hurt and sense of rejection brimming in your eyes. he knows what it's like to feel unwanted, and switches gears as he focuses on reassuring you.

ace pulls you under the covers and smothers you face in kisses, whispering soft apologies as he slowly makes your anger fade away. he may be a bit too friendly at times, but the affection he seeks from you is all he needs to keep his heart full.

kid

it was bound to happen at some point; he was the supernova with both the largest bounty on his head and the largest ego. you knew he was a flirt, but you had been at sea since the start of your relationship, and nearly forgot about the womanizer he becomes the second he gets a single crumb of attention. killer says to let it go and give him hell later, but the way that woman is draped across his lap makes you want to bust his nose up so hard it breaks back to it's natural position.

be prepared to either fuck or fight—they're the only two options here. confronting him only results in him asking you why you weren't on his lap to begin with; if he really wants to rile you up, he'll tell you if you snooze you lose. he's a jerk about it, but the way you're getting possessive riles him up and makes his focus shift solely on you.

if you choose to fight with him, he won't step out—he's lost interest in flirting and has a sour taste in his mouth now—and will probably follow you back to the victoria punk, arguing with you the entire way. both of you refuse to sleep elsewhere, and end up having the worst rest of your life, backs turned to each other as icy tension hangs in the room. in the morning, he rolls over, drapes his arm around you, and grumbles a sorry, won't do it again in your ear as he kisses your cheek.

if you choose to work out your problems in bed, he's relentless about teasing you for being jealous. it strokes his ego to be wanted, and seeing you mewling as you fall apart around him after being so full of fire and fury does something to him. afterwards, he promises you that he won't flirt again, but makes you promise to hang by his side next time instead of drinking in the corner with killer.

[alexa-fika]

Just imagining cat child being a zoan cat type she loves napping in the sun(or cuddling against ace or marco) she would rather die than admit that she loves head pats.

When the crew gets to rowdy she just goes to nap next to pops.

Whenever they run into trouble on islands Ace is grinning before letting yn go and attack, because she's so tiny. She just bites the ankles

I think she'd get the nickname "ankle bitter"

Apawling Cattitude (Whitebeard pirates x f!Cat!child Reader)

A/N See what I did there 🐈 im so funny and goofy, anyhow I COOKED HERE, just pure cooked down below, especially on that ankle biter part 😎

Here Reader is replaced by Dokucha as place holder which stands for reader in japanese

Dividers by @/saradika

“Brother Marco, are you done yet?” the young child groans, lounging in one of his examining tables

“Not yet; there are still a few things I need to finish up,” Marco responds without even turning his head around

“I’m cold,” she whines

“There’s a storm outside, so I can’t warm up in the sun, and Ace fell asleep while eating again; you're the only source of heat around.”

He sighs, turning around on his chair and picking up the child from the table, putting them on his lap, and turning back around to his paper

“There, now will you let me finish these papers?”

She smiles, cuddling up to him and closing her eyes, basking in warmth

“You’re so warm, Brother Marco.”

“Yes, yes, I know, but you aren’t making my job easier.” He says as he works on finishing his papers, his actions betraying his words as he begins petting her head, scratching behind her ears

She hums, letting a loud purring sound at the sensation, leaning closer to him

He lets out a snicker at the sound

“Why are you laughing?” She mumbles

“Nothing.” He mumbles before continuing to scratch behind her ears

“I just remembered a conversation in which you said you did not fold at being petted,” he said with a chuckle

“Ten minutes ago, to be specific, if I am not mistaken.”

She jumps up at that, a frown on her young face

“I’ll have you know you are mistaken! I do not fold at something such as pets; I am not some stray cat!”

He raises his eyebrow

“Then, could you explain the purring I heard just a moment ago?”

“Yeah, you need to get your hearing checked.”

“Did you forget about my devil fruit?”

“Must be malfunctioning 'cause there is something wrong with em.”

“You’re such a brat; just admit you enjoy being petted.”

“Hmph,” she scoffed, jumping off his lap

“I'm going to go see if Brother Ace woke up; maybe his ears will be working better than yours, Brother Marco.”

He smiles, watching the child go, leaning his head on his hand

“Do come back if you want more,” he calls out

“Shut up!”

He snickers under his breath but says nothing else as she storms off

Tiny footsteps could be heard hitting against the boards of the Moby dick as Dokucha hurriedly made it to the mess hall, looking for her freckled brother, spotting the rambunctious man over in one of the tables

“Brother Ace, you’re up!” She hollered

Ace, sitting down in one of the tables with the rest of the brothers, quickly wolfs down his food at the sound of the voice

“What’s up?” He asks as he sees his sister approaching, raising an eyebrow

She stretches her hands towards him, opening and closing her hands

He chuckles at the motion before grabbing her and picking her up, placing her on his lap

“What is it, kitty cat?” He teases

“Nothing,” she smiles, cuddling up to him and his heightened warmth

“Sure.” He chuckles, rubbing her ears gently as they are on his hands

“Then why the sudden rush to see me?”

“Brother Marco was being mean, and I was cold,” she mumbles

He chuckles at the small girls voice

“Oh was he? You mean your kitty purr didn’t work on him?”

“I don’t purr!” She said once again, jumping up, glaring at him

“Hah, really?!” he gasps in fake surprise

“Could have sworn I heard it, din’t you, Thatch?” he asked with a grin, looking at his brother, who was putting some plates down on the table

Thatch chuckles, shaking his head with a grin

“I did hear a small purr, yes.”

She pouts about to tell them off when one of the tables when up in an uproar; by the look of it, one of her brothers had started a drinking competition once again

She sighed, jumping off Ace’s lap and continuing on her way to find a place to nap in peace

Whitebeard hums as he hears soft knocking at the door of his chambers

“Come in.”

“Papaw!” She whines, climbing her way into his bed

He chuckles as she climbs all over his bed

“Gurararara” he laughs scratching her head.

“What is it? Is there something you need?”

“Mess hall is too noisy; I wanna nap,” she said, cuddling into his chest with a smile, sighing in relief

“There,There .” He said strokinb her hair as she cuddles into his chest, his own soft smile growing as he looks down at his little one

“Sleep here for now, brats know to keep it down around here”

“Thank you, Papaw”

“Make sure to sleep well.”

Dokucha now sat on top of ace’s shoulders, leaning her face and hands on top of his head as they walked

“What are we looking for again?”

“Izou left ahead of us to intercept the guys we were after; we are his backup,” he answered as he briskly walked through the grassy field

“I see him. Okay, ankle biter, you’re up,” he said, grabbing the girl from his shoulders and putting her on the ground, kneeling down on the ground next to her

“See the guy with the red shirt? He’s a long-distance sniper; I need you to take him out while I go help Izou with the melee fighters.”

She grins, her two incisors poking out of her mouth as she did

“Bite?” she said, looking at her brother, waiting for permission

“Yes, you can bite; go get ’em.”

She grins, shifting into her cat form and running closer to the guy; once close enough, she began prowling, silently approaching the guy until she was right next to them, at which point she pounced on them, making quick work of them, removing their going and easily gaining a surrender

She shifted into her human form, grinning as she kneeled on the now fainted man, chuckling as she watched her brothers make quick work of the rest of the enemies

“Impressive.” Izou praised her, approaching the girl, Ace following behind him, looking down at the man she had incapacitated.

“You’re getting better at that,” he grins, rubbing her head

She gives him a toothy grin in response, purring at the affection

As a reward for her hard work, Izou decided not to comment on the very obvious purring coming out from her as he continued rubbing her head , her ears tilting and twitching as she enjoyed her hard-earned pampering

That scene where Dokucha was kneeling on top of the guy, I was thinking of that one scene where young shanks was doing the same, eating chocolate (?)

Shanks really be stealing hearts since back then, I ‘ll take 1000 chapters on Roger pirates, Thank you < 3

Taglist:

@imaginarydreams

@amethystviolin

@h0n3y-l3m0n05

[xxhispieceofheavenxx]

All is peachy || Regulus Black

Summary: After spending the summer hooking up with his brother's best friend, Regulus convinces himself she only wants him because she can't have Sirius. Or where Regulus masturbates with a peach but he is sad while doing so. (basically, the peach scene from call me by your name)

CW: slight angst to fluff, smut, male masturbation, oral sex (male receiving), self-dought, French!Regulus, French!Sirius, fem!reader. Let me know If I missed something.

Word count: 2.9k words

Hiii! I'm back with a Regulus one-shot. I had this in the back of my mind for a while now and I'm so glad I could write it down. I said that this fic wouldn't take me long, and it didn't because I've been writing it nonstop, but it's still the longest story I've written. With that being said I hope you enjoy it!

Request are open

Masterlist

The loud laughter makes his eyes roll as his mouth puffs out a breath. Sirius' voice is boisterous while joking around with his cousins Juliette, Lèon and Manon. It usually wouldn't bother him as much as it does today, but among his family, he can hear the sweet laughter that's been plaguing his mind for the entirety of the summer.

She's waist-deep in the water, squinted eyes as Sirius continues splashing water around the group. The sun shines bright, making her hair and skin look even more lively than usual. He should join them; the heat is almost unbearable even as he sits under the shadow of a big tree, pretending to read his worn-out copy of Moby Dick. He should be in the water enjoying his summer, but he can't, not when she's there, looking even more beautiful than he remembers ever seeing her. She's wearing a flowery bikini, her skin looking darker thanks to the sun.

When this summer started, Regulus never thought he would be in a situation like this; when Sirius told him he had invited a friend to spend the holiday with them at their summer manor in the South of France, he never thought he would end up falling for her. She was the loveliest from the moment she entered their house, even making his usually stern parents smile and comment about how Sirius had finally found a friend worth their time. It was hard not loving her sweet voice and laughter, the smell of her hair while she flung it over her shoulder, talking animatedly with his cousin Juliette, easy to make friends when they arrived at the holiday manor. He never thought he would have a chance with a woman so bright she could face the sun and still shine more, not him, not his gloomy face and grey eyes. But he was wrong about that again, and only a week into the summer, Regulus found himself kissing the woman of his dreams.

They had been drinking outside, near the lake, where they were swimming now. Regulus had gotten up to find more drinks when she, always the enthusiastic helper, offered to help him carry them back. Unsure how it happened, they were kissing in the wine cellar. Her body pushed against a wall, her legs around his waist, her finger tangled in his hair. Regulus thought it had all been a dream when he woke up with a killer headache. It became clear it wasn't when she tentatively pressed a hand to his back and gave him a knowing smile during breakfast, the kind that holds a secret only they share.

The next few weeks were spent sneaking around, tasting each other and enjoying furtive glances and touches. That was until Regulus decided she couldn't like a guy like him, not when she had Sirius around, the extrovert, the funny and witty brother. Why would she choose him over Sirius when he was everything his brother wasn't? Introverted, quiet, nose always stuck in a book, never able to defend himself or speak his mind, always afraid about what he could do wrong. That's why he has spent the last week making up excuses, looking the other way when her eyes tried to find his.

Giving up on distracting himself with his book, he closes it and gets up. Quick steps guide him inside the kitchen where house elves are busy prepping for dinner; out of the corner of his eye, he sees a basket full of ripe peaches and quickly grabs two, taking them upstairs to his room.

Tossing the book on his bed, he grabs the bottom of his flowy linen shirt and places a peach on his nightstand. He takes it off, allowing the cloth to fall to the floor. He lays down and starts taking the pit out of the peach in his hand. The sweet juice runs down his fingers all the way to his wrist; he manages to lick them up before the dops reach the bedding. Regulus grabs his book once more and becomes determined to get the girl out of his mind. He opens it on the marked page and aggressively chomps down on the peach.

After rereading the same line over ten times and finishing his peach, he accepts defeat. Closing the book, he places it on his nightstand and lays back, looking at the ceiling like it is about to give him the answer to stop his despair. He thought he had a chance, he really did, but that was just plain wishful thinking. He had seen himself as lucky all those times she had allowed him a taste of her lips or allowed him in her bed. But of course, it was just a distraction for her, so she wouldn't have to face Sirius' escapees alone. He knew it was all too good to be true. His brother was always the desired; he was the oldest, the more handsome, the charismatic and witty. He was still the same brother that had invited her and then left her alone with his family to meet his multiple summer affairs, leaving her to try and console herself with always-number-two Regulus. 

He blames himself for even thinking that her touches were ever directed at him. Even if they were on his skin, he knows that in her mind there was only one man, and it wasn't him. All her kisses, caresses, moans and whispers weren't for him. 

Groaning, Regulus looks down at the tent that formed in his summer shorts. Which had been happening a lot more often; whenever he remembers her and their endeavours. His hand had started failing him as well, no longer giving him enough pleasure. But after feeling how soft, wet and warm her cunt was all summer, it isn't a surprise. Another sight leaves his lips when he reaches for the forgotten peach by his bedside. Closing his eyes, he rolls the peach between his fingers. The soft skin reminds him of her, extra soft, after applying sunscreen all summer. 

Regulus opens his eyes slightly, focusing his sight on the peach in his hands. His index finger starts gently caressing where the stem used to be, softly feeling the curves of the fruit. His breathing becomes slightly ragged as his thoughts continue to flow. No, he can't do that; it would be weird. Shaking his head, he stabs the top of the peach with his thumb, juices falling all over his chest and abdomen. He is quick to gather them with his fingers and lick them clean. He finally gets the pit out and sucks on it, getting as much of the flesh as he can, then he rolls it between his fingers and chucks it across the room, still upset at his thoughts.

Regulus hitches himself higher up, allowing his back to rest on the pillows. Tentatively, he brings the peach into his mouth, sucking the flesh exposed in the hole he left after taking the pit out. He nibbles and lets his tongue roam around the hole, closing his eyes and throwing his head back, only one thing on his mind. He can't help but compare her to the fruit, sweet and soft, juices wetting his lips and face as he explores it with his mouth.

He opens his eyes, knowing that he has lost the battle with his thoughts. Regulus lets one of his hands tread slowly down his body to the button of his shorts; his other brings the fruit into his underwear. Regulus bites back a moan, letting air out his nose, and pushes into the hole. He lets his eyes close again, feeling the sensations; how wet it is, how if he squishes it just a little bit, it feels like her cunt fluttering around him. Her face is clear behind his closed lids, mouth slightly open with pleasure, no noises coming out of her with how much he was making her feel. It doesn't take much more than that image to release, his semen filling the fruit in his hand. 

Disgusted with his actions, he quickly places the peach on his nightstand. He casts a quick glance as his cum drips in a long, slow drop down one side and turns his back to it, ready to forget about what he has done.

Hours later, the bright sun is much duller coming in through the window. Soft steps pad through his bedroom floor until they reach the edge of his bed. A smile touches her lips as she watches Regulus lie asleep on his sheets, slack jaw, eyelashes fluttering as he dreams. She sits on the mattress, careful not to wake him up and laces her finger to his soft curls. She bends over, letting her lips place kisses all over Regulus' naked chest.

His eyes flutter open, dazed, as he watches her kiss down his abdomen, all the way to his unbuttoned shorts. Her hand reaches down, pulling his semi-hard dick out and placing it in her mouth. He sighs and looks as her face scrunches up in shock.

"What did you do?"

That is enough to fully wake him up, realising this is not a dream and she is currently inside his room sucking him off.

"Nothing." His all-too-fast answer is enough to make her look around his room, not taking long to find the peach on his nightstand.

"Oh, wow..." she says as she reaches over him for the fruit.

"Stop." Regulus sits up and tries to get it out of her grasp.

"What? No, this is very interesting." A grin takes over her face as she chuckles.

"It's nasty."

"Yes, it is." Her smile grows. She sticks her tongue out, trying to get the drop that fell off the side.

"Stop, don't do that." Regulus tries to take the fruit away again, but she quickly avoids his hand. "Seriously, stop." His hand misses hers a third time, and she tries to lick his cum off the peach again. "Just stop, please." A sob escapes his body suddenly, tears start streaming down his face.

"Reggie, what...?" Her words get lost as he bends over her, hiding his face on her lap. "What's wrong?" Her fingers tangle on his hair again, helping her concerned voice.

"I'm sorry, I'm..." He raises his head and wipes furiously at his eyes. "I'm sorry."

"No, no, I'm sorry." She lets the peach down on his other nightstand, the closest to her. "I didn't mean to upset you. I was only joking." Her concerned eyes look for his.

"I know. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cry." His eyes refuse to meet hers.

"Reggie, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, don't worry." He sniffs and tries to get up. She grabs his wrist, making him look at her, a surprised expression on his face.

"Something is clearly wrong. Talk to me." Her gentle voice makes tears prick his eyes again. He lays back down, letting his arm cover his eyes so she cannot see them.

"I just,... I don't know." She lays down, placing her head on his shoulder, humming, letting him know he can continue. "I..., why are we doing this?"

"Doing what?"

"Kissing, making out, having sex." His arm falls down, and he stares at his ceiling once again, refusing to look at the woman on his shoulder whose eyes are boring into his face.

"You don't like it?" She whispers, voice unsure.

"I do, but do you?"

"Of course I do. I wouldn't do it if I didn't." That makes him turn his face to her.

"Do you just like the sex?" The commissures of his lips go down, threatening new tears. "Because I'm sure you can find sex somewhere else."

"What?" Her eyes search into his, hoping they will give her an answer.

"If what you enjoy is the sex, I'm sure you can find someone that is not your crush's little brother to give it to you." His voice turns slightly venomous at his words. He can't believe she is making him spell it out for her. He had enough humiliation as it is; allowing her in, thinking that he was enough for her, only to realize Sirius was the one she wanted and couldn't have.

"Wait, wow, wow, wow." She sits up, her arms moving defensively in front of her. "What are you talking about?"

His brow furrows, and he sits up on the bed as well. "You have a crush on Sirius."

"Ew, what the fuck?" She makes a disgusted expression. "Who the fuck told you that?"

"I, hm... no one?" 

"Why do you think I like Sirius?"

"Because... everyone does." He looks as confused as her, not understanding her disgust and shock at the revelation.

"Who the fuck is everyone? Reggie, why would I have sex with you if I wanted Sirius?" Her frown deepens.

His mouth relaxes open, confused sound spill out while his eyes look around the room, trying to find an answer. She doesn't...? But all those looks she sent Sirius' way, they coy smiles and jokes between them. They had to be more, hadn't they? "I..., you're not having sex with me because Sirius isn't interested?"

Her mouth gapes open. "What? No." The disgust returns to her features. "I mean, I love your brother, he's one of my best friends, but he is the sluttiest man on Earth. I'd only have to ask him, and he'd be dropping his pants in a second."

Unsure eyes look at her.

"Reggie," She says softly, her hands cupping his cheeks. "I like you, not just the sex, not just the kisses. You. I like you." His eyes shine with tears as he looks at her, looking for a hint of a lie.

"I just came inside a peach." Is all he can muster out after a moment of silence. Her laughter erupts in his ears.

"Yeah, you did." She finally says in between giggles. "It was sexy." More laughter leaves her, and he smiles, unable to stop himself from how happy she sounds.

"It was?"

"Yeah," She finally breathes. "It made you taste sweet." Her fingers dance on his thigh, making their way up his stomach. She caresses where the juices from the peach fell, where she had been kissing him moments ago.

"Oh..."

"Oh indeed." She looks at him with a rueful smile. "I didn't mean to make you cry."

"I know." His hand grabs her, stopping her caresses, and he brings it to his mouth, placing a kiss on her palm.

"You know, normally, when someone confesses their feeling for you is polite to let them know if you feel the same way or not." She says, her voice tentative.

His eyes widen, and he looks up at her, her hand still over his lips. "I like you, yes, of course, I do." His rushed words make her smile. "I'm sorry, I'm not good at feelings."

Her other hand reaches his cheek. "It's okay. We'll learn; together. I just need you to talk to me, please." His hand cups the one on his cheek. "I knew something was weird this past week, but you didn't talk to me."

"I know. I'm sorry. I tend to get in my head and not talk with people when I think something is wrong."

"Just promise you'll talk to me next time, no matter what it is." Her sad eyes are all he needs to kiss her.

"I promise." He breathes once they break apart. His hands make their way from her cheeks to her waist. "I'm sorry." Is all he whispers while he lays her down, their lips locked.

"Reggie." She breaks the kiss as her head hits the mattress. "I'd love to, but I came up here to tell you dinner is ready, and you need to come down." His forehead touches hers.

"You were the one that started blowing me."

"Oops?" His stern eyes look into hers, making her giggle. "We can do whatever you want after dinner, I promise."

"You'll finish what you started?"

"Only if you do the peach thing again." He groans, his head going back and then falling on her shoulder.

"You're never going to let me forget that, are you?"

"Nope." She over-exaggerates the pop sound and softly pushes him off her. "Come on, put your shirt on. I don't want your parents sending anyone to check on us."

Reaching the bottom of the stairs and walking past the archway, they walk into the dining room, where everyone is waiting for them.

"Look who finally decided to join us." Leon's words are accentuated by his french accent.

"Sorry." Regulus quickly apologises, sitting down on one of the free chairs. He reaches for his glass of water as a house elve starts pilling food on his plate.

"Is everything okay?" Orion asks as he sips his wine.

"Yeah, you guys took so long to come downstairs." Sirius pipes up.

"All is peachy." Her cheery voice makes Regulus choke on his sip of water. Eyes look at him as he tries not to cough out a lung. "He fell asleep, took me a bit to get him up."

"Oh, you're still cranky when you wake up, Reg." Manon's teasing voice says.

"Yes, I guess." His cheeks are red as he prays nobody has realized the actual situation. Regulus' eyes have a glint in them, one that she recognises. She grins at him, fully knowing she's in for a lot tonight.

[cluescorner]

Limbus Company as RTFD Quotes

Outis, one day out of literally nowhere: *Sigh* I miss my wife, Don Quixote. I miss her a lot.

Don: *Losing her shit*

Outis, going to go pine in silence: I’ll be back.

--------------------------

Sinclair: Everything is ok!

Sinclair, walking into his home to find his family murdered because of something he did: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Kromer: Wait, I traumatized you as a child. That’s badass!

-------------------------

Charon: I can’t believe I’m driving this bus I’m literally 5 years old. 

----------------------------

Ahab: Hey Ishmael. It’s me again. I have a fun new ‘killing-the-whale idea.’ 

Ishmael: Hey there, devil. By the way, what’s your name? 

Ahab: I dunno I feel like that’s kinda self-explanatory. You know, from…literature. You ever been to a high-school english class? You ever read Moby Dick? I’m that one. So here, I want to you kill the whale because that’s my whole prerogative. 

--------------------------------

Canto 2: Welcome to the Casino, bitches. I wanna see slots baby, big numbers! Big numbers! If you live in Rodya’s old town, FUCK YOU!

------------------------

Dongrang on Mobile: They call me the glitch do you wanna know why they call me the motherfuckin glitch? Because I glitch their games out!

------------------------------

Vergilius, constantly: Jesus Christ *insert every sinner here* what have you done?!

[silverisafukintrainwreck]

i think this is already a decently-known thing in the fandom, but can we PLEASE talk about the Yo Girl motif?? you ever wondered why the first time you watched the musical and that part started, you got chills down your spine? trust me, it’s not just because of how creepily heather, ram and kurt were standing and how dead their voices sound.

the instrumental part in the beginning has been played before a few times. All in moments of tension. currently the only one i can remember is back right before Shine a Light Reprise, when veronica gets anxious and pissed and accidentally tells everyone she killed Heather and the jocks. Coincidentally, Chandler shows up at this moment. So the musical subconsciously implanted into your brain that the motif+the ghosts means tension.

So Yo Girl starts. The start of the song already gets you on high alert. Martha is shown in a hospital bed. The ghosts’ voices get more exasperated. Veronica is now truly a heather. Suddenly, she’s back home and, oh god, her parents are talking about her depression and thoughts of suicide? Because of JD forging her handwriting on a Moby Dick book?

so much information thrown in within mere seconds, all while the tempo goes up. And the ghosts’ voices grow yet again, announcing JD’s coming.

Cue the most iconic part of the song, with “Veronica’s running on, running on fumes now”, shortly followed by JD finally arriving and having the most amazing bridge to Meant to be Yours, with one song being immediately followed by the other. The first time i watched, i barely realized they were two different songs.

Yo Girl is one of my favorite songs and it will forever give me the chills at how good it is at conveying the emotion Veronica was feeling: nervousness and the feeling of incoming dread.

[rollinouttahere-writes]

More Little Lucky AU prompts because I want to get these written down so I don't forget them

During the time between encountering Laboon and getting to Whiskey Peak, Lucky follows Vivi around on the Merry while fawning over how pretty her hair is. Vivi almost has a heart attack when Lucky says she "looks like a princess".

Lucky trying to pick a fight with Bellamy because he was mean to her friends.

Kaku straight up kidnapping Lucky when he goes to survey the Going Merry because he got possessed by paternal instincts upon seeing a battered child. Internally panicking on the way back because oh no he did not think this through at all.

Garp being extremely concerned about Lucky being mixed in with a bunch of pirates and his unhinged grandson. He tries to get her to call him grandpa only for her to say no because he beat up Luffy and she's mad about it. Garp is devastated by the refusal.

I have lots of ideas for the Whitebeard Pirates

Marco tells her that Whitebeard isn't supposed to be drinking any alcohol, so whenever she sees him drinking she gets this sad look on her face and asks him why he's drinking stuff that makes him more sick. This doesn't stop him entirely, but he does avoid drinking when she's likely to catch him because her kicked-puppy face makes him feel bad. Marco spoils her a bit every time she says something because this has been a critical success in his book.

Thatch loves cooking/baking with her and teaching her how to make new things. He makes a big deal about every new thing she makes to hype her up and keep her interested. By the time the timeskip is over and the Straw Hats get her back, she has noticeably improved her skills and Sanji is seething on the inside over someone else teaching her.

Izou, bless him, tries so hard to style her hair. Unfortunately, small children are not good at sitting still for extended periods of time so he's fighting for his life trying to finish any complex hair style. Even when he can finish, Ace typically messes it up within the hour with his roughhousing.

Lucky does have her own room on the Moby Dick, but it's debatable if she even knows where it is. She's so used to sharing a room with others that she hates sleeping by herself. Ace's room is her main go to, but she has sleepovers with her other uncles too. Never Whitebeard though. She's afraid he'll roll over and squish her.

Whitebeard really enjoys having a kid so young on board again, he'd almost forgotten how fun that age was. Lucky climbs all over him like a human jungle-gym and he just lets it happen while trying to maintain his tough guy facade.

[shankss-magnificent-ass]

Imagine the WBP watching you adjust to their rustic lifestyle

Commissioned by: @ceylon-morphe286

Thanks for the commission btw ❤️️

You: *had washed onto the Moby Dick during a storm*

Whitebeard: *takes one look at your pitiful wet shaking and sniveling form, and decides to take pity on you and leaves you to his 1st and 2nd commands *

Ace: *helping you put sheets on your bunk, when he notices your phone on the night stand as it vibrates* What's that thingy?

You: oh it's just my phone.

Ace: *blinks at you in confusion*

You: my smartphone, ya know, like a cell phone.

Ace: You keep saying it like I know what that is.

You: you get calls and messages, and use it to talk to people from a distance.

Ace: oh, like a den den mushi! I've never seen one with a shell that shape, where's the snail though?

You: there's no snail, what on Earth are you talking about?

Ace: No, what are you talking about?

After figuring out what was going on

You: So, I'm not just displaced in space, but also in time....

Marco: what does that even mean?

You: *Sighs because you don't want to explain it.* It's nothing... cute snail by the way.

Ace: If your calls aren't done with a den den mushi, how does it work?

You: well, I'm not entirely sure, but it's complicated enough that I think the fact your culture uses snails is.... rather quaint.

Whitebeard: *watching you as your attention remains glued to the screen.* for something that just does calls, you're rather obsessed with it.

You: oh it does a bunch more, like I can take pictures and record footage. Like here, *snaps a picture of Whitebeard*

Whitebeard: *winces from the flash*

You: hehe, look it *shows him a picture of himself looking straight up his nose with a dog filter over it*

Whitebeard: I'm hideous, throw it away immediately.

The next morning

Ace: See I told you I could carry four crates cat once!

You: *recording him* oh wow, look at that.

Ace: *rapidly shifts his body to account for the boxes wobbling, and he has to take a wide step, ripping the crotch of his pants*

You: *learns Ace do not wear chonies *

Ace: *tries to correct himself, so he wasn't swinging in the breeze, and ends up dropping the crates, and drops the crates.*

You: here cover yourself with this. *Hands him the blanket you were using as a shawl*

Ace: *wraps it around his waist just in time*

Marco, Izou, and Thatch: *comes check out the loud crash*What happened?

Izou: *runs over to save a tin of matcha from rolling into the ocean* hey, you almost cost me a week's worth of tea!

Thatch: *grumbles* here we go with his tea again.

Izou: it is tea, you peanut head!

Thatch: tea is leaves, that is powder!

Ace: *looks over at you, and remembers you were recording him before he fell* to delete it.

You: delete what?

Ace: your phone.

You: ohh *wants to save it for possible black mail for later*... I accidentally turned it off, see, so it probably didn't save the video*shows him the dark screen*

Ace: turn it back on, and check.

You: hmm, I actually shouldn't, it has limited power, and it was already pretty low.

Marco: what powers it? You: electricity, which is like domesticated lightening.

Marco: not easy to come by, from the sounds of it.

You: not here, no. So I should turn it off and use it less.

During breakfast

Izou: why do none of you know how to make a decent cup of tea, I'm not even asking for proper.

You: *hand him a piping hot cup of matcha*

Izou: *sighs and reluctantly accepts it,* wait... this is perfect, how do you know how to make matcha?

You: I read a lot, plus I'm used to a broader global community letting me see into different cultures.

Izou: on that enter nets you mentioned last night?

You: yep on the internet, I'm used to being able to have most of human knowledge at my fingertips.

Marco: and having a constant source of stimulation, that's why you keep picking at yourself when you go without doing something for a few minutes. Speaking of which, stop it *smacks your hand way from your face*

You: yep.

Later that week

You: *pushing yourself along the floor on your back and whining* I'm bored.

Ace: *throws a book at you because you've been whining nonstop to him*

[officiallordvetinari]

For the last little while I've been reading the Book of Job, both because I enjoyed the way it was adapted in Good Omens 2, but also because I thought it would be an interesting text to read alongside Moby-Dick. Job is quoted in the Extracts, after all, and both works deal with the problem of apparently senseless and random suffering. They take fairly different approaches to it, though.

Job wants to know why? Why would so many terrible things happen to a blameless and upright man? His friends give him all the standard answers: "God does everything for a reason", "You must have done something wrong", "Suffering brings wisdom". I found it quite a frustrating section, as Job keeps asking his questions and his friends repeat the same answers over and over, never satisfying him or the reader. I think that's sort of the point - there's no answer that a human can provide to "why do bad things happen to good people" that really feels like a solution, is there?

Ahab isn't interested in asking questions. It doesn't seem to me that he's burning to understand why he lost his leg. He just wants revenge. The only part of Job that really reminded me of Ahab was, unsurprisingly, the chapter about Leviathan. This passage comes towards the end of the book, when God ends the conversation decisively by reminding Job how small he is and how little he really knows compared to the width of the world.

1 Can you draw out Leviathan with a fishhook     or press down its tongue with a cord? 2 Can you put a rope in its nose     or pierce its jaw with a hook?...

7 Can you fill its skin with harpoons or its head with fishing spears? 8 Lay hands on it; think of the battle; you will not do it again! 9 Any hope of capturing it will be disappointed; one is overwhelmed even at the sight of it. 10 No one is so fierce as to dare to stir it up. Who can stand before it? 11 Who can confront it and be safe? —under the whole heaven, who?

Job seems to concede defeat after this and admit the greatness of God, but not Ahab. Ahab has fought Leviathan before, and he intends to do it again.

[acesbelovedwife]

Can I?

Portgas D Ace x fem reader fluff

Masterlist

It was a calm day on Moby Dick, you docked at an island and you knew most of the crew is gonna be out to explore so you took this as an opportunity to just take it easy and read a book in your room, finally in peace without anyone bothering you. That is until a certain freckled face decided to look for you to join the crew on the beach. He didn't see you today at all so he knew you'd be in your room, but he surely didn't expect to find you laying on your stomach only in your panties and oversized t-shirt reading on your bed "what's up Ace?" You asked him as you saw him turning red trying to look everywhere but at your bottom area "Ace?" You asked again, worried from not getting any answers from him, you closed your book and walked up towards the shirtless man "earth to Ace" you bonked him in the head which brought him to reality looking at your face covered in concern "are you ok?" you asked once more cupping his cheeks "y-yeah I'm ok" he stumbled over his words still embarrassed "good, so why did you barged into my room without even knocking?" "Huh?" you sighed "you came running into my room, I'm guessing it's because you wanted something right?" You softly spoke "O-oh yeah, I wanted to ask do you wanna join us on the beach" he answered still blushing from the image he saw earlier. You thought for a second "I don't know, I kinda wanted to spend some time in quiet and finish reading my book.." you said "I see" he looked sad from your answer "y/n can I ask you something?" He started "of course, what's up freckles?" you teased making him blush all over again from the nickname "would it be ok if I.." he sighed "I mean you don't have to but I was just wondering if I could, like I don't know how to say it-" you cut off his talk as you pulled him close to kiss him, too suprised to even kiss back he just stared at you in disbelief "sorry, you just looked so cute I couldn't stop myself~" you smirked looking at his shocked face "sorry" he said, before you could ask him what did he mean by it, he picked you up walking towards your bed and placed you on it "Ace?" "I wanted to ask you earlier something... I wanted to ask could I perhaps lay on it" he covered his face again "lay on what?" You sat in front of him confused. He pulled you on his lap grabbing your ass "A-ace!" you whisper-yelled at him "can I?" He whispered, then it hit you "you want to.. lay on my ass?" You asked confused as he nodded looking down, you cupped his cheeks making him look at you "you're so adorable, you could've just ask from the start~" you kissed his nose as he blushed even harder than he already was (if it was even possible). You laid down on your stomach again "go on, it's ok" you reassured him as he just stared at it in awe, you kicked him playfully with your leg to get him out of his trance, which worked perfectly as he put his hands on your thighs massaging them as you went back to reading your book. Finally he laid his head on your ass putting his strong arms around your hips "are you comfortable down there?" You asked smiling warmly as he hummed in affirmation. It didn't take long for him to fall asleep, not that you minded that is.

You read your book, enjoying the moment between the both of you, you were flipping the page as you heard a soft knocks as the door opened "Y/n did you see Ace, I can't find him anywhe-" Marco stopped in the middle of his sentence seeing Ace laying on your bottom as he hugged your waist "I won't even ask" he said as he walked out. You started laughing making Ace wake up from his sleep "hmm?" He picked up his head taking few seconds to realize what position he was in "had a good nap Hun?" You asked him "yes, probably the best one in my life" he said as he pulled you into a tight hug, hugging you close to his chest while taking your book away from your hands placing it on your nightstand. You giggled hugging him back nuzzling your head into his chest (his beautiful tiddies) "I love you so much y/n..." He sighed as he kissed you on top of your head "I love you too Ace" you replied as you felt his muscles tense "y-you do?" He pushed himself back a little bit to look at your face "of course I do! If I didn't why would I kiss you or let you lay on my ass dumbass?!" You stared at him in disbelief "good point" he said as he kissed you on your lips deeply trying to savor the moment as long as he can, finally pulling away when he needed air nuzzling his head in the crook of your neck giving you butterfly kisses "I could get used to it" you laughed from all the affection he was giving you "you better get used to it, cause I'm not letting you go anytime soon" he softly spoke.

Sorry for any mistakes, English is my second language! I hope you enjoyed reading ♡

[thelampisaflashlight]

Things I have said at work in front of my boss/manager, an incomplete list:

While in the midst of planning part of our shop remodeling: "I'm thinking, I'm thinking... No, don't stop talking I'm just having a thought."

Unprompted, twice: "Frogs and toads engage in the mating process known as 'Amplexus', which is where-"

Lead to a long conversation about cannibalism, the horrors of war, and somehow frogs mating again: "Have you ever heard about the real story behind Moby Dick?"

While being left in charge of the shop by my boss: "Does the fact that I smacked my head into a steel plated door when I was eight make you less confident in my abilities to do the books at the end of the day?"

Upon being discovered laying down on a pallet of bird seed, staring up at the ceiling: "I was just laying down here because the cat was on the pile, and then I noticed the spacing of the boards for the ceiling were off, and then, well, I got kind of comfortable. Then I realized you were in the shop and thought I should get up, but then, no."

After being asked why I look like I'm waiting for my manager to say something: "I'm not staring at you exactly, I'm staring into space, and you happen to be right across from where I'm stationed, and I want to apologize for making you think a single thought was going through my head at the time."

After committing an OSHA violation: "I think I committed an OSHA violation in the back room."

A term that was then adopted by the rest of the workers: "I call the bathroom the 'little office' so people don't know that's where I'm headed."