#this is peak bad television

[galvanizedfriend]

The prank night episode where Klaus turns Tyler into a hybrid has no right being so good tbh.

[golden-x-mage]

OH MY GOD THIS WAS THE EPISODE WITH HIKARU AND TAMAKI FOLLOWING AROUND HANA AND SAKURA ON THEIR DATE

[lewyn-martell]

first episode of percy jackson pretty bad, full of plot holes and very low effort but i will not stop watching this show i was obsessed with the books when i was 12

[bzdsentai]

Honestly I think they made it work as best they could with what they had.

It wasn’t great but it was refreshingly unashamed of what it was and I can’t help but find that charming.

[simptasia]

do i have any right to call buffy a cringe show when im currently browsing old heroes sylar/peter fanfiction?

yeah

[hazelfoureyes]

The Radio Demon fucks a Human Sacrifice (part 3)

I deadass wrote part one as a one shot. Is this what peer pressure is? I love it.

It would have been easy to forget you, your soul was his anyways so the real fun had already finished. But that pesky video hit most streamed in 24 hours, he couldn’t even walk to the butcher without hearing you scream his name from errant phones. Surely there was a way, even from hell, to finish what he started and get you out of his system.

⟢ part1♡̶sidestory♡̶part2♡̶part3♡̶part4 ⟣

tags/warnings/promises: Alastor x reader, smut, soft Alastor, unprotected sex (duh?), creampie, edging a little, feelings, Valentino exists, Vox also exists, literally wrote this split screen with part 2 on the right side so I could line it up right like he does hehe, Alastor has a bad time

tag requested: @astraechos , @thekanrojimitsuri2 , @hoeforalbedo , @crazylazybabyk , @oddball08 , @lovingyeet , @just-trash-yeah-thats-it , @random-3455 , @alicehasdrowned , @des-deswain5621 , @coffee-colored-hopeless-romantic , @doctorswife221b

When Val released, ‘The Radio Demon fucks a Human Sacrifice’, it immediately went viral. The website crashed, downloads surpassed his wildest, horniest dreams.

It’s scary but also hot? ☆☆☆☆☆

Eat me Mr. Radio Demon!

I’ve never wanted to be a pussy so much in my life.

The reviews were all favorable, the comments rolling in, it was perfect.

Until Vox said it wasn’t. He had seen the video, but figured no one would care about seeing Alastor fuck anything. It wasn’t the success that got under his skin, it was the wave of positive attention it brought Alastor. Suddenly everyone was tuning in to his broadcasts, little miss princess’s hotel was busier than ever.

And it was ubiquitous. Every screen seemed to feature Alastor’s breakout role.

“I said pull it, Val!” Vox slammed his hands on Valentino’s coffee table.

“Vox, baby, you’re being really sensitive about this. I’m literally fucking piles of money right now. Actual piles of money, like, person sized piles.” Val took a drag of his cigarette, “Its good for business.”

“Would you rather fuck money, or me?” Vox’s screen glitched.

Val leaned his elbows on his knees, “That’s a really difficult question for me and I think you know that.”

“Augh! Val! Think of the big picture! That obsolete dickhead gaining attention means gaining power. And that’s bad for business.”

Val’s eyes fluttered, “What if we like, say it wasn’t him?”

Flashes of Alastor’s face fazed in and out of focus across Vox’s screen, your body flipping over, a mess of tentacles writhing.

Val took off his glasses, “Oh yeah, that’s pretty obviously him.”

“What is?” Vox’s face splintered back to the screen.

“Do you—- do you not know you’ve been like,” Val used his cigarette to gesture at Vox’s face, “just straight up playing his porno?”

Vox’s hands flew to his screen, “No! Fucking shit! What the fuck!!” He picked up a vase and threw it across the room, “Wipe it clean off the server! Delete it! Ban it’s fucking streaming! End of discussion!”

Val shrugged, he owned every bootleg distributor in the pride ring. He’d pull it and up the price threefold for illegal downloads. “Whatever you want, amorcito.”

Alastor was quite happy the video went ‘underground’ of sorts. The first month after you left, he was plagued by the sound of your voice. Everywhere he went it seemed you were screaming his name, every phone and television a conduit for you.

What really bothered him though, was the reaction others had to him. Where once sinners leapt from his path and set theirselves on fire to avoid him, now people winked and waved. It made his skin crawl. When alive, at the peak of his radio show fame, it wasn’t uncommon to have fans approach him in jazz clubs. But the decorum of 1930's jazz fans was a far cry from the brazen displays of desire from the citizens of hell.

“Perhaps I should have thought it through?” He mused.

“Ya think?” Rosie put her tea down, “Was it worth it, at least?”

He mulled the question over. Worth it? Well, he had your soul. Which is grand. But you weren’t even in hell to be called upon. What did he really get from the deal? Alastor brought his palm to his face, already feeling the blush spreading. Rosie's chuckle didn't help. He did get something. You'd been gone a month, and each day he woke up having forgot you existed. And every night he lied down to rest and imagined your eyes staring back at him. Did he want to fight you, or surrender, when he saw that look? When the silk tie had fallen from your face, slipping down your nose to reveal your intense stare...He thought his heart had stopped. For every ounce of resilience in your voice he found a pound of fury in your gaze. What poor luck Valentino had been given to receive you as an offering.

"Too soon to tell." He leaned back, finally dropping his hand.

“Well it seemed you had a good time… not that I could see much through the green glow and all that static noise. Really spoiled the climax with that move, Alastor dear."

Alastor’s eyes were saucers, “Rosie. Are you implying-,”

“What?” She drew out the word, “I thought you weren’t into those things so of course I was curious!”

He sighed, “I’m not.”

Rosie pushed the teaspoon around her cup with one finger, “Sure looked like you were.”

He crossed his arms, indignant, “You don’t have to have an appetite to enjoy a meal.”

“Message received loud and clear dear! I won’t bring up the subject again.” She cackled and changed the topic to the latest gossip around the colony.

Another night staring at the ceiling, mind ghosting over the idea of you. He felt like he his sanity was unraveling Leaving his bed, he stepped barefoot onto the grass of the swampy forest he materialized into his room when he moved in to the hotel.

With an outstretched hand, Alastor felt for your connection. He couldn’t see it, but the weight of the chain connecting your soul to him sunk into his palm. Curious, he wrapped his fingers around the invisible links and pulled.

With a soft green glow, you rose from the grass.

His breath hitched, he hadn’t expected that. “It seems our deal really did stick, didn't it?" walking towards you, Alastor dropped to his knees at your feet. You were on your side, unmoving.

His head cocked to the left, ears turned in. Alastor crawled toward you, rolling you onto your back and opening your legs. He slotted himself there, “Hellooo,” He took your face in his both of his hands, elbows resting beside your ears, “Are you… sleeping, dear?”

This is ridiculous.

Alastor inspected your face; peaceful. It was a new sight for him, he'd really only ever seen you in some kind of rage or lost in pleasure. His hand slid down your body, realizing you were in the robe still. He laughed, but realized it was for no one. "Are you really going to sleep, hmm?" He hooked his hands under your knee and brought it up around his hip.

Nothing.

"I'm starting to get offended, dear." He leaned down and whispered into the crook of your neck. "If you don't wake up-" He slid down, the robe open enough to let his breathe ghost over your stomach. He stopped. He couldn't do anything to you while you slept. It was void of any enjoyment for him. Without your reactions, it was just....pointless. While he did enjoy your performance in the studio, he was taught to show respect for those of fairer means. A sleeping partner fell into that category.

He reached beneath you and straightened your robe that had bunched there under your body. Placing your leg back down by your ankle, he began pulling the collar up and closed it snuggly.

He stood there for a second, looking over you. It worked. You're here again. His mother had taught him that the human soul was most vulnerable at night. When asleep, the soul could wander from the body and travel earth and beyond. She even said people could train themselves, and with practice, remember their journeys even after waking.

Kneeling down, Alastor pushed your hair from your face, "Don't forget. What fun is there in that?" The shadow beneath your body shimmered neon green before you were swallowed by inky darkness and Alastor was once again, alone.

After his mother died, Alastor was often alone. Most of his time, really. Well, there were people always around. But they were staff, or hangers-on, or women looking for a comfortable life. They were dancers and bootleggers and musicians. Which was fine and grand. But, they never saw him. He never let them, they never tried. He was the radio host. The great dancer. The southern gentleman. The killer. The cannibal. The deer in the woods. Not a single person ever looked at him on earth and saw him. Which was precisely what he wanted, and manufactured with his wide smile and good manners.

So when your eyes bore into him from that tacky studio set, and he felt suddenly naked in front of you, he knew you were looking at the him. You saw him.

It was worth it. Alastor was willing to admit that to himself.

Over the next couple days, he would randomly try to pull you to him. Through out the day, in different places, he would summon your soul and wait. Nothing. It confirmed his theory, your soul was only able to leave your living body while you were asleep.

In the privacy of his room, Alastor paced the space between grass and carpet. What was this feeling? Nerves? He hadn't felt nervous since he was a child.

But, what was causing him a pause, was if he summoned you and you didn't appear. Maybe it had been a fluke? Maybe for the 7th time in 3 days he would pull on that connection and be left standing there, alone.

Still.

He ran his hands through his hair, trying to regain composure. Finally, he reached out for your ties to him, and pulled you into hell.

He held his breath, unconsciously.

With a glow, you appeared again before him. He was quick this time to approach you, setting beside you and leaning close to your face. Asleep.

"Is this my foreseeable future?" He asked, "Staring at you while you sleep, my doe."

Suddenly, you opened your eyes and met his. Reaching up, you grabbed him with both hands and pulled his face into yours. Your hands ran through his hair as you took him in a frenzied kiss. Alastor froze for a beat, but when your tongue licked at his bottom lip, he was brought back to the moment. He pushed his tongue into your mouth, rolling over yours and reaching as deep as he could. He felt like he could unhinge his jaw and swallow you whole. He really could, if he wanted to.

Alastor swung his leg over your body and straddled your hips. "Mon cher, you've finally joined me." His chest was rising and falling with excited breath.

"Alastor?" You tried to feel your body, but it was nowhere near you.

"Don't worry your pretty little head. You're still alive and well. I've merely borrowed your soul for the evening." He looked down at you, and finally, for the first time in what felt like months, your eyes fell to his face.

But today, they were soft and out of focus.

"Can you see me, my dear?" He leaned down slightly, trying to read the look on your face.

"Am I dreaming?"

He chuckled, "Perhaps we both are." With an exhale he wondered if he had been holding his breath this entire time. "No, this isn't a dream."

"I don't understand...but--," You lifted your arms towards him, "Should I say thank you? It was fucked, what happened." Your voice was slow, words a little slurred, "But, I'm home safe and sound now. You did what you promised me. I don't know if I'll ever see you again so...should I thank you now?"

Your tongue felt fat in your mouth, heavy and delayed.

Alastor leaned down over you, "You don't have to say anything." He used his knees to open your legs, and settled there. "Unfortunately, you've become a little worm in my mind." His hands slid under the silk robe you hadn't stopped wearing yet, "I'm hoping if I finally have you, I can...whet my appetite, and return to my normal self." He felt along your hips, hands stopping when he realized you were naked under the thin piece of fabric.

"I keep remembering," you covered your eyes with your hands, "that big hand of yours. And I realize, you never touched me past that."

He smiled, genuinely, truly, "Exactly! You understand the problem precisely. Shall we both have our fill and be done with it?"

You moved your hands to touch his ears, waiting for him to disappear at any moment, "Please. I'm so tired of missing someone I don't even know." He removed your hands, and you held them to your chest.

"My thoughts exactly, mon cher." He adjusted his hips, letting his crotch rub against your core. This was the closest he had been to you since you'd met. It was dizzying, and it felt like his skin was vibrating everywhere it met yours.

A soft moan left your throat, causing his cock to twitch in his pants. Yes, it was you. This wasn’t his standard response to such sounds. Alastor sat up, his legs bent and knees at either side of your hips. Taking one of your hands from your chest, he placed a kiss on a digit. Then another. He kissed his way down your arm.

“So gentle. Weird.” You tried to focus on him, but your mind was still cloudy. The sensations were here but also so far away, too far away, in another lifetime all together.

“Was I not gentle before, all things considered?,” he continued his way down your arm.

You let your eyes drift to the sky, stars watching you from above, “More than him.”

His mouth went dry at the mention of Val, "I am many things more than him, darling." As his lips found your neck, he took a deep breath. "I can actually take my time now. No audience." He sucked a bruise, and released you with a pop. He presented two fingers to your lips, and without thinking about it you began to suck them. While you were slipping your tongue over and between his fingers, he moved to continue a trail of kisses and nips down your right arm.

"Get them nice and wet." He watched through half lidded eyes as you licked his long fingers. He knew he needed to remove his hips from yours, but the idea pained him. Finally, he took his fingers from you and swiped them over your entrance. Your chest jumped, so he did it again. He tried to push the fingers into you, but the resistance was more than he expected. You were wet, but tight. He let his middle finger slip inside you. So soft. So warm. His shadow tendrils allowed him some feeling but not this, this was something they kept to themselves.

"When was your last time, mon cher?"

Your mind searched for memories still left behind in your body somewhere, "In hell."

"You're in hell now."

"This doesn't feel like hell." You ground your hips onto his palm, trying to get that single digit slowly moving in you to come deeper, to become more. He replied by pushing in his pointer finger, erection becoming painful already as you let out a little moan. Bending them up, he began to make long thrusts past your g-spot. His mouth long stilled on your arm, staring at your face as you whimpered into the sky.

"Look at me."

Your eyes darted to him, half open and wet. Alastor felt his patience snap. Undoing his belt and zipper, he finally freed his cock. He ran his head between your entrance to your clit , gathering your fluids on him to ease his entry. Taking both of your legs, he held them at the ankles and set them on his left shoulder. With your hips slightly raised, he pressed into you.

With a hiss you dug your fingers into the dirt, body tensing instinctively. One of his arms hugged your legs to his chest, the other was now bruising your hips as he continued to push into you. With just his head in, he began fast and shallow thrusts. Every time making more progress into your warmth. The stretch burned, but the feeling of him forcing space into you for himself just made you wetter.

Finally, he bottomed out. He had no sense to still himself, shallow thrusts gave way to long, deep plunges. Alastor's breathing was filling the space around you, mixing with your own. Leaning back, he looked down at where you two were connected.

He withdrew slowly, nearly entirely, and pushed back in. Again. And again. It was intoxicating, how he felt himself melt into you. He'd had lovers in life, but never had he been with someone without a barrier of some sorts. Be that his well placed smile or latex. He'd never fucked anyone raw before. He almost regretted not trying earlier, as the sensation of your walls and arousal sticking to his cock and thighs was breaking him. Watching himself entirely disappear inside you, he closed his eyes. Everything was so hot, so tight, would he disappear entirely? Would he lost in the pleasure your body was so effortlessly giving? Was he the unlucky one?

Alastor pushed your knees up to your chest, using his body weight to hold them down as his paced picked up. You brought your dirtied nails to your own legs, holding on tightly. Desperately you needed something to tether you to the ground, keep you still against the twitches shaking your stomach and chest. You felt with any jolt to your nerves you'd fall off the world and drift into the night.

He felt the build up, his balls tightening and drawing in, he wanted to slow down-- he wanted to bring you there first but he couldn't stop the rutting of his hips. With a whine, Alastor's forehead came to rest on yours, hips smacking into you with a wet slap. "Look at me," He commanded again, and you obeyed. One of his hands came to your chin to hold your head still, "Don't you dare look away."

Struggling to keep your eyes open, he pushed into you with one final, deep thrust. His hands came down now to the ground around you as he pushed you into the grass. Hips stuttering, cock twitching in you. You'd never let anyone cum inside you before, the sensation of heat quickly filling your cunt made you tighten around him. "Good girl", He purred, jaw tight.

He pulled back slowly before bringing his hips down, sweat sticking to his forehead where it met yours. His pace was quickly becoming brutal, a hand finding its way to that little bud of nerves of yours. With rough pressure and hurried speed his thumb drew out your orgasm. When you came, you gasped out his name, craning your neck up to ghost your lips over his open mouth. As the pleasure surged from your center, you could feel your body again. He tried to keep his eyes on your eyes, but the overstimulation of your cunt trying to wring him dry forced him to shut them.

A light shone through his eyelids, startling them open again.

"Wait-!" He watched you get pulled away from beneath him. Before he could react, Alastor was on all fours in the forest, alone. Eyes wide, he pounded his fist against the grass. He tried to summon you back to him, to drag you to him but nothing happened.

He thought he'd gone crazy. Hands came to his head, smile pained as he tried to process what he was feeling.

No.

Not enough.

Too soon.

A growl ripped through his chest. This hadn't satiated him at all. No, he was worse off now. He was starved, he had nourishment ripped from his mouth and he as angry for it. Angry to hell, to Valentino, to the conditions of owning a living soul.

He did not even attempt to rest that night. Taking his time, he had to find composure again. Alastor managed to pull himself together after several hours of self isolation. After his heart stopped racing, after his hands stopped feeling phantom skin beneath them, he calmed his smile and went about his day.

When night returned, he couldn't help but stare into the forest domain. He wanted so badly to bring you to himself, but that want was terrifying. It was overpowering him, and he couldn't accept that.

Another night left, another day passed. Husk found Alastor's cruelty to be growing, his patience giving out at the smallest perceived slight. Angel stopped engaging entirely. Charlie found herself wanting to approach him, find out why it seemed his hair was always standing on end, his eyes sharp. But, she didn't. She couldn't. Alastor would pass through the halls like a raging specter. He wouldn't slow or acknowledge anyone.

He managed a week. Satisfied with his resolve, he waited for when night fell and he was sure you'd be deep asleep, yanked your soul from your body and into him. He felt rabid, like he his brain was catching fire. Finally when you materialized before him, he grabbed your face with his hand.

"My doe?"

Just like before, you stirred, and your hands immediately went for his hair. He pulled back, "Are you awake?"

"Am I dreaming? Alastor?" You looked drunk, mind struggling to process the change in scenery. Your arms wrapped around his neck as he hovered above you, and you pulled him into a kiss. He happily returned it, hands quick to untie the robe you had taken as your own. He wasted now time in getting himself unsheathed and lined up with you, before he could enter you reached out to him, "I wanted to say--- thank you. I don't know if I'll ever really see you again."

The realization made his blood run cold. His mother's stories flooded back to him. It takes training, and time, to remember the travels of the wandering soul.

"You don't have to say anything." Alastor thrust into you, your body tense but not as resistant as before. When he was finally enveloped in you, he could feel himself calm. He didn't feel any need to be gentle this time around. He immediately set a bruising pace, digging his nails into the soft flesh of your ass as he forced your hips to meet his with every thrust. You gasped beneath him, eyes wandering up to the sky just past his head. He'd bring you to climax, wanting to drink in your expression, and to his horror as you choked out his name you were spirited away from him again.

Everyone on the floor heard Alastor's rampage. When Angel ran to get Charlie and Vaggie, they were scared to knock. With a steadying breath Charlie rapped the door, "Al? You okay in there?"

Suddenly, silence.

The door whipped open, Alastor smiling with half lidded eyes, "Why of course. What ever made you think otherwise?"

"The fuckin' sounds of carnage, maybe?" Angel looked past Alastor. The sofa shredded, coffee table in pieces. The wallpaper had been ripped down and torn to shreds. Charlie noticed the dirt under his nails, but Alastor coolly pulled his hands behind his back.

"Can I do something for you?" His tone was cold.

"I guess not, Al...," Charlie took in the damage, "Did something happen?"

Alastor smiled wider, "No," and closed the door. No one saw him the following day, which wasn't entirely unusual but it was weighing on Charlie. When Alastor finally appeared and announced he was going to Cannibal Town, she was elated. A chat with Rosie would surely bring him back to himself.

"I don't see the problem. You've got her soul, you can summon her to you, and you get a little," She searched for the word, "relief. Why do you look so pained, old friend?"

"You know better than most I have no interest in chasing women, Rosie."

"Yet..." She cocked her brow.

"It isn't about the release. I don't particularly need that. I never have." He huffed, the conversation already exhausting him, "When I would kill someone, I was God. Their life was in my hands. I took that power from them."

Rosie clicked her tongue, "And when she's in your hands?" Alastor hunched over his black coffee before remembering himself and straightening his back. "I've never seen you like this before, hun. You've got it bad, huh?"

"Personal connections like this, Rosie, are dangerous. I lost my self restraint entirely. It's a weakness." He fought to regain his smile, never knowing who could be passing by.

She tutted him, "Oh no, that's where you're wrong. The difference between a strong man and an unstoppable man is having something to care about." Rosie leaned over and set her hand on top of his, "Imagine you walked into Val's studio right now and found her like you did a couple months ago. How would you react?"

His stomach wretched forward, if he saw you today, hanging from the ceiling? The stench of Valentino's cigarette smoke clinging to your hair, the marks where his hands had made contact with you? His hand under her's tightened, claws leaving marks into the wooden tabletop. "Do you feel weak right now, Alastor?" The hair on his ears was standing straight up, his now black eyes met hers, "You sure don't look it."

He’d remembered hearing something similar before from Vaggie. Could it be true? It was a precarious ladder. If he let himself be close to someone, then the person is in turn close to him, then that person knows him intimately, and then— they are a walking soft spot. Someone could take them and torture them for information. Or, hurt them to hurt him.

But, who would dare? A fire rose in chest at the thought. What was the point of power if he couldn’t have what he wanted? If he had to answer to others about his desires? To pursue strength and status was what he wanted but if that strength didn’t afford him freedom than what good was it, really?

"I say, not that you asked," Rosie smiled and withdrew her hand, "Could be nice to have a little company now and then. Plus, better than waiting 60 years or something for her to just die." She shrugged, "Now, eat. You look like a shit."

Rosie had a point, while your existence was fragile, it was still available to him.

For awhile, he would call you nightly. Alastor would fuck you into the grass, beneath the trees, under the stars. He learned your orgasm would wake you, and he would draw it out as long as he could. He'd edge you for hours, watching you sob for your release. Slowly, your consciousness became more and more solid during your meetings.

To his relief, his hunger for your presence calmed over time. He could handle a week or even two without sharing your company, and he noticed each time you seemed to recognize him more. You'd participate more, moan louder, scream his name and squirm from the pleasure. He relished trapping you underneath his wide shoulders, pulling you onto his lap as he fucked up into you.

He wasn't fond of the few times he summoned you and you were already wet, or smelling of cologne. He'd tease, "Lonely?" and when he'd fuck his back cum into you before helping you chase your own orgasm, he'd remind you, "You're mine, little doe. No one can replace me." And he'd feel his chest swell. Others had your body for the night, but your soul was his forever. With every meeting, he felt more like himself. And the nights you were screaming his name in the forest, and his horns were looming over you as he marked you over and over as his, he felt powerful.

Some nights, he'd call you to him to just let you rest. He'd enjoy a book, or some jazz over a meal, while you lied quietly in his bed.

The days he pulled you into hell and your hair smelled of the trees, of sweat and dirt, he would be gentler. He could feel the ache in your muscles, the tan on your cheeks, and sent you back.

One such night came, where he of course took your chains in his hand and tugged. But this time, when you arrived, your face was painted with anger. You were asleep still, and even when he whispered to you, you didn't wake. You were having a nightmare, from what he could tell. He took you to his bed, and let you settle.

You stayed there until waking up again in your bed.

And every night that week, he'd bring you to his bed and go about his tasks while you fought some demons in your head. He'd never seen you have a nightmare, and began to wonder if something was happening in the overworld.

Alastor was enjoying a deer carcass in his room, humming softly to himself, when a green light erupted on the floor.

He was well aware it wasn't night anymore, and that he hadn't brought you here. With a soft smile, he left his meal and approached the light. Slowly, your body rose from the darkness there. Not just your soul.

When you looked up at him, a smile on your lips and two small doe ears on your head, he grinned, "Did you miss me terribly, my little doe?" He offered you a hand up, "Welcome home.”

༻Masterlist༺

[postguiltypleasures]

My Peak TV Journey *Bad Sisters*

(I have a lot of these started going back months. I"m going to try and quickly finish and post some soon, before the shows become a distant memory and while I decide if I want to write more about the ones that are continuing.)

I watched this because I still have warm fuzzy feeling towards Catastrophe and I saw Sharon Horgan was starring in it and show running it. While she shows are very different in subject, Sharon’s character here, Eva Garvey, had a different relationship to her family, but an equally troubling one with alcohol. And I’m interested in seeing 

If there was anything off putting it is that I am completely unfamiliar with the source series so trust on tricky subjects had to be earned.

I have to say that from the start I was surprised by how all the homes looked big and modern. It was distracting. Even later plot points about various financial insecurities didn’t make me wish I could go and visit those places. 

This is a really good show to watch with people, see how they react to things. John-Paul, the brother in law they eventually all conspire to kill,  is awful, but is he need to die awful or just need to give his wife, Grace, an intervention and try and convince her to leave him? (Eventually he is revealed to be worse than let on.) And the sisters are various kinds of bad. Bad with alcohol, anger, money management, and an affair. Their badness is  good complication to their motives. At first the various failed murder attempts don’t make the murder seem worth it. Bu the do make it feel necessary because it’s not like they can pretend that nothing happened. The moral squirming this show produces is riveting. Bibi, the first sister to suggest the killing, in particular is wrecked by the damage she does. 

I immediately recognized the “This pussy is mine” thing Ursula and her lover do from Gabriel García Marquez’s Love in the Time of Cholera. It ended badly there too. Why imitate it?

This is the kind of show where when recommending it you have to warn about the pet death! So many pet deaths.

I generally liked the Claffin Brothers, the insurance executive investigating the death for their own murky motives. Thomas had a sympathetic home life while being awful everywhere else. Matthew’s romance with Becka was fun and tense.

There is a second season, and I am not sure I want one. Sure all the messiness of the Garvey sisters and Claffin brothers lives remains unresolved. But this story feels over. 

[leaderwonim]

𝐇𝐈𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐑𝐂𝐇𝐘 — five: stay

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠. lee heeseung x fem!reader, park sunghoon x fem!reader

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲. Y/N always knew that her high school was dominated by wealth and privilege. Upon having a one night stand with popular athlete Lee Heeseung, she uncovers that Heeseung's friend group controls not only social dynamics but also school policies and local affairs, revealing a hidden world of power and manipulation behind their so called perfectly polished exteriors

masterlist | previous | next

When you walked into Lee Heeseung’s house for the second time that week, you were immediately greeted by the smell of alcohol and a light whiff of cherries?

You looked over at his kitchen island, which was unsurprisingly filled with cherries. You guessed the people were making some sort of alcoholic cherry beverage.

“You made it,” Heeseung says, grinning as he slung an arm around your shoulder.

You were taken quite aback, not expecting Heeseung to do it so publicly where everybody could talk about it for the next few weeks.

“I did.” You say, and you could see Giselle and Yujin giving you a thumbs up and cheeky grin from behind Heeseung.

“Cherry?”

Your sudden boldness makes you open up your mouth, allowing Heeseung to place a cherry inside. You bite on it, then spit out the seed into your other hand.

“Seojun’s dad has multiple cherry trees in his garden so he gave it to us.” Heeseung explains.

From the corner of your eye, you could see Heeseung’s friend group make themselves comfortable around his television.

“Do you want to go somewhere more private?” You say, eyes looking up to meet Heeseung’s.

He glances at the couch where his friends sit, too busy and engrossed in whatever drinking game they’re doing to notice you and him.

“I’d love to.”

With that, Lee Heeseung drags you away with him upstairs, opening the door to a room at the end of the hall.

“This is my room,” he smiles. “Last time we were in yours.”

Glancing around, you could tell Heeseung was a big music fan. He had CDs all around his table, and a CD player in the corner of his desk. Posters were filled with pictures of Frank Ocean, SZA, and even Olivia Rodrigo.

Funny, you think. I’d never thought I’d live to see Lee Heeseung listening to Olivia Rodrigo.

You’d always thought girls that he played would listen to her instead, thinking about him.

“You’re pretty tonight,” Heeseung says, giving you a small smile.

“You’re not so bad yourself.”

Although you and Lee Heeseung weren’t close by any means, you felt oddly comfortable around him—like his presence brought warmth and healing.

“Can I kiss you?”

It’s only four words; you shouldn’t be so lost for words at it. But you are—with blushing red cheeks and shaky hands.

You don’t answer him, instead, choosing to close the gap between your mouths. They move in sync together, and for the first time, you finally know how it feels like to kiss Heeseung sober.

He tasted like coconuts, mixed with the hint of cherry from your lips earlier.

“I got a new CD player,” he says after pulling away, and you stop yourself from chasing his lips. “Wanna listen to music with me?”

And how could you say no when Heeseung looks at you so prettily with his doe eyes?

“Of course.”

Suddenly, a loud series of knocks jolts the both of you.

“Ayo Heeseung?” It’s Danielle’s voice. “Hanni said she wants to go home because the party is getting lame. You wanna come with us to Sunghoon’s house for a while?”

Heeseung looks at you, then at the door, then back at you again. You could tell he’s conflicted on whether or not he should leave you and go.

“Stay.” You say, holding his hand. You’re not too sure if he’ll actually stay—why would he choose you over his long term friends?

But when you see Heeseung stay still and give you a nod, you knew you had your answer.

You find yourself waking up hours later to the bright sunlight peaking from Heeseung’s window, an arm tightly secured around your waist.

“Morning sleepyhead,” he says, grinning.

“Morning.”

You stretch your arms out, trying to shake off the sleepiness.

“You know you speak in Japanese when you dream?”

“Do I?” You say, rubbing your eyes tiredly.

“Yeah. Kinda wish I knew what you were saying.” Heeseung smiles. “It’s like there is a part of you that I haven’t yet discovered.”

“I’ll teach you Japanese one day.” You say. “If you want me to.”

Heeseung nods, and the silence was enough for the both of you.

[a-dinosaur-a-day]

What's most amazing about people who hate that birds are dinosaurs is that, without the discovery of birds being dinosaurs in the 1960s, none of y'all would have ever actually cared about dinosaurs

the history:

dino craze in 1800s. people thought, birds are very similar to these guys. Dollo fucked it up, made a bad theory, and people stopped thinking that

Early 1900s, dinosaurs deemed sluggish, stupid, pointless evolutionary failures. most people not really into dinosaurs anymore. this continues until

1960s: Deinonychus discovered. suddenly, dinosaurs interesting again: vibrant, lively, warm blooded animals. Also... birds might be dinosaurs?

from the 60s through the 70s, a slow buildup of dinosaur culture - both in crappy stop motion movies, but also in children's books and other media

80s cladistics revolution shows birds are living dinosaurs, though not without flaws. documentary after documentary is made, causing the major dinosaur boom of the late 80s and early 90s

the peak of this boom are the A&E and PBS documentaries, which both outright state birds are dinosaurs

cartoons like land before time and other dinosaur content keep coming out too, especially at the end of the 80s and the earliest 90s

the book jurassic park, referencing the birds are dinosaurs thing, is written in the late 80s. in the early 90s, is adapted into one of the greatest blockbusters of all time. now dinosaur interest is MAINSTREAM.

jurassic park isn't the start of the dinosaur boom, it is the apex

90s becomes the decade of dinosaurs, with tons of new discoveries, television shows, documentaries, and other programming

1996 first feathered "nonavian" dinosaur discovered. birds are dinosaurs is the closest thing we have to proven phylogenetic fact

1999 walking with dinosaurs premieres, revolutionizing the dinosaur-documentary genre.

early 2000s becomes the age of Period-Type Dino-Docu-Dramas

velociraptor is determined to have feathers

suddenly, dinosaur mania starts to die in the later 2000s

even though discoveries keep happening and we learn so much in the 2010s, the 2010s becomes a very regressive time - a sort of reactionary response to the birdification of dinosaurs and the dinosaurification of birds. the height of this is jurassic world

we may be in the middle of a dino-docu-drama revitilization thanks to prehistoric planet. stay tuned on that one

like, everyone was fine with the birdification of dinosaurs up and until they looked "feminine" on the outside, because of feathers.

It's just all such transparent misogyny and homophobia and people who react against feathered dinosaurs or birds being dinosaurs are just... so transparently parroting conservative talking points

Anyways, yeah. without birds are dinosaurs, you wouldn't have jurassic park. Sooooo

[citrustan]

hello , can i request a drabble wherein oc finds out that their husband politician Namjoon is having an affair with his secretary? like, oc found Namjoon was cheating when oc was watching the news and there are photos of the affair and a recorder phone call of the affair wherein the secretary was talking bad about the oc and Namjoon was just chuckling. thank u in advance ❣️

aaaa i'm excited to write this one, thank you for sending it in!

all eyes on you (knj)

pairing: namjoon x reader

genre: angst!! husband!namjoon x wife!reader, mayoral candidate!namjoon x housewife!reader. i imagine namjoon to be older than oc.

warnings: infidelity! oc will be trashed a little ok. you have been warned. the contents of this story quite literally replicate the anon's request. please don't read it if you find the topics offensive and/or unappealing. oh u guys r gonna hate me,,

The living room was quiet, save for the soft hum of the television in the background. You weren't really watching anything in particular--- just letting the flicker of images fill the empty silence around you.

You were perpetually tired.

Your mind wandered, lost in the routine of another evening spent waiting for your husband to return home from wherever he was.

It's not just this though. Namjoon had been distant lately, buried in meetings and late-night phone calls, but you had brushed it off as just part of his life as a politician.

This was the price of being married to a man like him, or so you'd tell yourself.

It was peak campaigning period. Namjoon was running for mayor. So it wasn't out of the ordinary for him to pull all-nighters.

Yet, you couldn't help but stay up for him anyway.

Unintentionally, you switch to a news channel.

Normally, you'd prefer to stay far away from anything to do with politics, as ironic as it sounds with you being married to such an ambitious politician. But, you yearned to feel closer to him, and the news channel his (and sometimes your) name(s) frequented on was the only way for you to satisfy this urge.

You sat on your luxurious yet cold, leather sofa and zoned out, staring into space.

And, oh, what a choice that was.

“Now in. Breaking news on mayoral candidate Mr. Kim Namjoon...”

Just like that, your attention snapped back to the screen when the news anchor mentioned your husband's name. Your heart skipped a beat or two.

In only a second, a thousand thoughts crossed your mind, hundreds of scenarios where he'd hurt himself, or been hurt, maybe his opponent backed out and he was pronounced mayor right this instant, maybe his opponent was hurt, or maybe he was advocating for yet another controversial decision.

Not even close.

What followed wasn’t about a new policy or a political scandal--- it was something way worse.

Photos. Of him. Your husband. Kim Namjoon. With her. His secretary. Bae Joohyun.

They weren’t just working. The pictures showed them at some dinner, leaning in close, laughing in a way that made your stomach churn.

They looked too comfortable, too familiar, as if this was second nature to them.

How cliché.

It felt like the ground beneath you had cracked wide open, eager to swallow you up and wipe every trace of your existence.

It felt like time had stopped. The air around you was stagnant. You couldn't hear anything but a high-pitched ringing in your ear; until what the channel displayed next.

The screen transitioned to a recorded phone call.

You hadn’t realized you were holding your breath until you heard Joohyun's voice, dripping with smugness.

“I don’t know how she doesn’t see it. Honestly, it’s almost pathetic,” you hear the woman sneer. “She’s too busy playing the good housewife while you’re here with me. I mean, what does she even bring to the table? It's not like you don't have staff handling your home.”

You don't even have time to digest the attack on you because what came next completely shattered you.

Namjoon's laugh.

It wasn’t just a polite chuckle, not something he gave when uncomfortable. It was genuine, full of warmth--- the laugh you used to think was reserved just for you, not against you.

“She’s a bit clueless, isn’t she?” Your husband murmured, amusement clear in his voice.

The remote slipped from your hand and hit the ten thousand dollar carpet with a dull thud.

Your mind was racing, trying to make sense of it, but nothing could explain what you had just seen and heard. All you could think was a mix of 'Namjoon' 'he hates me' 'what went wrong?' 'how could he dare to do this?' 'Joohyun was so nice to me' and 'I want to lie down.'

The man you loved, and cherished, the man you trusted, had betrayed you. And worse, he had laughed at your expense, as if you were nothing more than a convenient joke?

You can't even begin to feel the humiliation of the news being broken to you by TV emission, because your husband's betrayal had struck you so hard, all your thoughts surrounded only him.

Yet another irony; the news of his betrayal was broken to you so publicly, yet you were so, so lonely.

You can feel your cheeks and ears heating. Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes, but you don't cry.

Not yet. You don't know why.

Instead, you continue to sit there, numb, as the rest of the world kept spinning around you.

The hours (two hours) blurred together as you sat in silence, staring at the news segment on repeat.

There was no new information. Just the commentators discussing your life. They had managed to dig into your and Namjoon's past. Then his secretary/mistress' as well.

Yeah, she had been promoted to 'Mr. Kim's mistress.'

They discussed, and agreed with Joohyun's take on you being a lousy wife to Namjoon. How Bae Joohyun is a better fit for him. Then another counter argument stating you were 'the perfect, submissive, wife material' for Namjoon.

They went into detail about Namjoon's past relationships, then moved on to scrutinizing every single interaction he had with a woman since your marriage being made public.

Then, they brought on more guest stars on the show to react to your husband's leaked voice recordings.

You felt hollow, with every heartbeat punctuated by that same mocking laugh playing in your head.

All your devices, phones, iPads, landlines, had been vibrating and ringing non-stop. You wonder if any of those are from Namjoon.

It wasn’t until the door clicked open and you heard Namjoon’s familiar, hurried footsteps that you finally snapped out of your daze. He was almost stomping the floor. Following close behind, you hear another unmistakable 'click-clack' of a pair of high heels.

Your husband stormed in, his tie slightly loosened, looking weary from another long day, along with his fucking secretary, who looks equally fatigued.

He tries to talk, “_____."

Instantly, you shoot him down, "Don't even." You stood up with false-fervour. Not wanting to hear from either of the traitors, you turn to rush to one of the guestrooms.

Before you turned, you caught Joohyun rolling her eyes, her lips pursed in annoyance.

The woman looked more irritated at being dragged into this mess than remorseful. That was the last straw.

You don't quite remember what happened next. You were suddenly so fired up. Your brows furrowed, and your tears had clouded your vision.

Without thinking, you grabbed the nearest thing--- your fluffy house slipper, and hurled it straight at the secretary’s head pulling a stupefying gasp out of your husband.

"What the fuck?!"

note: this hurt to write kinda until i made her throw a slipper at joohyuns head :( ofc this is also kinda raw and unedited bec (you know it) lazy.

do you guys want a follow-up?? perhaps a confrontation? you'll have to be vocal abt it if you do... so talk to me u clowns 😡

BTW i love bae joohyun, i just think she'd be a perfect villain for this story. smart, sexy, bitchy, and intimidating.

[hollowtones]

if you could give one franchise or piece of media a kart-racing game (that doesn't already have one), what would it be?

OK. Prefacing this with "I don't care all that much for Uncharted" and "I'm sure people have made this exact joke or comment before". Yadda yadda. But Naughty Dog has made so many games about driving or racing over the years. People adored "Crash Team Racing". People tolerated? the vehicle shit in the Jak & Daxter games. And the name is free. "Unkarted" is a billion dollar idea. Easily better than "The Fast of Us".

More(?) serious(?????) answer: kart racing is inherently kind of a goofy genre so you need to lean into that. The ideal for me is something that makes me go "haha, thats pretty funny" without it feeling TOO much like a shovelware thing. The Mario ones are funny because Mario sports games are funny. Sonic ones are funny because those guys don't need to drive a damn cars!! (& the good ones also pull from a bunch of old Sega properties. And Danica Patrick.) So I feel like the ideal here is primetime television. You've seen all the "Breaking Bad" edits and that's a good sell for the concept but that's played out by now. We need "Sopranos Kart". We need something based on "The Wire". We need "Twin Peaks: Power Drift with Me". Hell, get stupider with it. People love to eat up crossover multiverse garbage these days, right? "The Karterion Collection" would probably be slop but it'd at least be pretty fuckin funny slop.

[billskeis]

o em gee I love you AND your writings sm, can I ask for a smut maybe like 2009 tom and js like let’s say he woke up from a nap and he like gets a boner and when he asks the reader to help him , they say yes n’ hes js spitting out sweet swords and stuff ty and make sure u get some rest! 🤍🙏

luv u 2 lets makeout :3c

ᡣ𐭩 tom’s post nap boner

tom woke up with an uncomfortable feeling, almost breathing heavy as he blinked away the sleep in his body. looking around, he noticed you were no longer laying in bed with him. as concerned as he was, there was an even bigger problem at hand. that concerning the morning, or, afternoon wood that he had woken up with.

“hi tom!” he turns his head to met the voice that called out to him. you were already awake, feeling a little bit craving, you left your bedroom not too long ago to go grab a snack and a glass of water. sitting down at the edge of the bed, you gulped down the last bit of water as your attention quickly averts to the show the both of you fell asleep to.

with a groan, tom who was once sitting up in confusion and discomfort, leans his whole body back down on the bed. he feels a little bad having to ask such a thing for you considering that the two of you had just done it, thus the much needed nap. but he can’t help it! he’s a growing boy with growing needs (still?)

“baby..” you hummed in response hearing him call you, body leaned toward his but head still directed to the television. whining, tom palms himself through his sweats, unable to wait any longer. however, you’re not getting the message he’s trying to send. “look at me, please?” he asks ever so politely which has you actually turning to face him.

you gasp at the sight of tom, who’s about to pull off his sweatpants, along with his boxers. he gives you a tease of a sight of his hard-on, only a smidge of his shaft peaking through the small opening, almost toying with you as you pout. why didn’t he just say so? “can you help me out? i got a big problem..” you thank the gods he finally asked.

not even needing to say anything, you immediately get on your knees, positioning yourself in between his legs as he now sat on the edge of the bed. freeing his boner, his cock springs out of its constraining, cold air hitting tom’s dick as he lets out a small groan of relief.

you waste no time in going down on him, licking a stripe up the length of his dick as you immediately suckle on the tip. drooling as you get his cock wet, you slobber your mouth all around the hilt, going up to press a quick kiss on the top, giggling. “aren’t cha such a good girl for me, hm?” he tucks a strand of hair behind your ears, admiring how prettily you sat below him.

fully taking him into your mouth, you bob your head up and down his cock. the more you sucked him off the quicker his expression was to falter, running his hands through your hair, he pats your head as a way of showing you how good you’re making him feel “f-fuck.. you do that s’well.. gonna make me come soon..”

now behind his cool and sexy facade, tom becomes adorable when you suck him off. jaw hanging low as he gets all shaky and trembling, balling the bedsheets within both his fists as he resists fucking his dick down your velvety throat. he has to completely resist the urge to have you gag on him, choke on his dick. maybe he’ll save doing that for another day.

his attention is focused on you and you only, watching as how his length so quickly disappears in your mouth as pleasure runs through his body. he can’t help but whisper sweet words as you run your tongue across him, “mmph.. your mouth feels really good.. definitely g-gunna, shit, make you do this for me more often..”

tom now has one of his hands holding your hair out of your face in a makeshift ponytail as you swipe your tongue across the side of his cock. his moans are whiny, and needy, and filled with total lust and admiration as he just watches you. god, even though it was the thousandth time you’ve done this, you make it feel as though it’s his first time ever getting a blow job, sending him into an ecstasy he luckily gets to experience over and over again.

“s-shit baby, gonna come..” tom gives you notice before you stick your tongue out as he spurts cum right onto the flat of it. ropes of white also painting the plush of your lips, you lick off the remaining and look up at tom, smiling. he places a quick kiss on your cheek that has you giggling, “t’was so hot babe, thank you so much.”

lol ! need 2009 tom to give me lock jaw from how much i suck him off lol !

just a thought , stay safe yall ;)

[andhumanslovedstories]

I’m googling “best Chinese television show” , which I do realize is a very reductive question because if someone asked “hey what’s the best American television show,” it’d be impossible to answer because that’s such a broad category with such vague criteria. But contenders for that title would still jump to mind, right? Like it’s an impossible question, but it’s because you’re comparing Mad Men to MASH to Breaking Bad to I Love Lucy to The Wire to The Simpsons, not because you can’t think of shows that could make claims to that title. Anyway, turns out answering the question of “what tv shows are in the nation’s metaphorical canon” is perhaps difficult. Someone please tell me what China’s Twin Peaks is.

[livefastdriveyoung]

I know Esteban is a divisive figure, and there are times where that might be warranted, but consider this;

So were his teammates.

Fernando Alonso is jokingly referred to as a terrorist/war criminal for his habits on the track. In recent years, we've only seen him with Lance, who he clearly likes and sees as someone worth being nice to.

Esteban is French, like peak French. Coming into Alpine, where you already feel irritated to be in this position, and looking at this kid who is a fighter, and sassy, and maybe the first driver for all that you're a world champion? Yeah I would imagine that the menacing figure is what comes out first.

Pierre Gasly and Esteban had a falling out somewhere along the way. Whether it was over the success of one in comparison to the other, the French vs. French but different, or if that rumor about a woman is true, or it is something else that we will never know, could you imagine being forced to work with your former best friend who knows everything about you but doesn't know you?

This one goes both directions.

And then, by this point, we've seen Esteban and Max go at it, we've seen Esteban make some bad calls, and Pierre as well, but the hate is so disproportionate.

And Esteban seems to be alone.

Anthoine was his friend too.

For all that he talks so nicely about Max now, people (fans) still hold it against him. For all that he and Charles are friends, Pierre is first, and so we see Esteban literally swerve sway in order to avoid conflict.

Mick isn't on the grid anymore.

We see Esteban and Pierre on live television playing a game and actually doing ok only for their conflict to be brought up. Pierre curses Crofty out and gets away with it.

If Esteban had done the same he would have been raked over the coals.

Esteban has gotten consistent death threats since 2018.

They're buried. But they are there. In the wake of the crash with Pierre, his family, his girlfriend, and he himself were all horrifically threatened.

He was fired.

So yeah I would say reactions are disproportionate.

But consider this;

Ollie isn't reactionary.

As far as I have seen from footage, if there is a bad call, he acknowledges his mistake and accepts it for what it is. He loves his teammate, and he is living his dream.

Consider this;

Maybe Esteban, who is one of the most hated drivers, and not only that, he's a work driver, might be the best thing for someone like Ollie, who has all of these expectations on him.

Maybe someone who has been through the worst of this sport, who continues to be forced face to face with the darkest side of this sport, is exactly the kind of person a rookie needs for a teammate.

Esteban smiles in almost every interview. He loves meeting fans. He is funny and seems sweet.

A rookie needs someone who has been through the worst and can still do that.

And consider this;

If you put Ollie Bearman next to Esteban Ocon, he stands a chance for a future. The fans are already saying Ollie doesn't stand a chance with Esteban as a teammate. How much do you want to bet that those lowered expectations are what will keep him in the seat?

And I think, if you put this 18-year-old kid next to Charles LeClerc, Make Il Predestinato his first teammate in F1?

I think he drowns in Ferrari red.

[mmhcs]

Miguel O'Hara x Tall!Reader

A/N: (I haven't seen many fics covering this topic so I thought that I'd throw my hat in the ring today). This is dedicated to all the tall girls out there! Y'all are beautiful and amazing!

Warnings: Slightly suggestive, but mostly SFW focus on legs, reader is female(if you'd like to see a gender-neutral version, please let me know!), reader is described as having a curvier lower body (only at one point, though), Miguel is absolutely head-over-heels for reader (pun-intended!)

Okay, y'all. Look at this man. He is 6'9". Big. Very big. Often times, he's the biggest person in the room. Tall and intimidating. And while he likes that (he is the big, scary boss. Hear him roar!), there are times in which he wishes that there was somebody who could relate to him. Like, do you know how hard it is to find shoes at 6'9"?

Now, don't get him wrong, Miguel loves women of all shapes and sizes. Short, tall, average height, skinny, chubby - he doesn't care. But when he saw you? It was like he had a spiritual awakening. Seeing you walk down the hallways of the Spider Society, suit hugging your curves...It did something to him.

Especially when he saw the mold of your legs. For the first time in a long time, Miguel felt himself getting a little nervous. Never had he seen another Spider dominate the room like you did. During your first few days, people used to stare whenever you entered the room - not out of fear as they did with him - but out of awe. You were gorgeous but your height - it just took you over the top.

From your first day forward, all Miguel would hear about is you.

"Did you see the new Spider?" "Yeah, she's really tall! What do you think she does in her professional life? Model?" "Oh my gosh, look at her! She looks good in that suit!"

Whenever you and Miguel would have conversations, he found it hard to focus. First, you have a stunning face but those legs? Oh, he was a goner. Though he had only seen you with in your Spider-suit, Miguel couldn't help but take a liking to your legs. Your thighs, though comprised of muscle - jiggled when you walked, and your calves looked as firm as his demeanor on a bad morning. Miguel had never had a thing for legs before (or at least not to his knowledge) but now he found himself fascinated by your legs and their length and angles. He could spend days worshipping the curvature between your calves and thighs.

When Miguel finally does see you out of uniform? He needs to leave the room. Don't ask why, he just does.

When you two finally start dating, Miguel can't take his eyes off of you. All he can do is stare (mainly at your legs) and thank Padre Dios that he managed to pull you into his life.

But, while what initially made you stand out to Miguel was your height, it actually doesn't play that big of a role in your relationship. As time goes on and lust simmers into love, you and Miguel are just a regular couple.

Though he doesn't spend much time in his home (or didn't until you), Miguel's space is tailor-made for him. Meaning chairs, couches, tables, and shelves big and high enough to accommodate him and his height. While a small thing to note, he's glad that he finally has someone doesn't find issue with it all.

Miguel is aware of the of the stereotypes and jabs thrown at girls of your stature and so he does his best to constantly remind you that you are beautiful, attractive, feminine, etc.

If you're shorter than him (doesn't even matter if it's an inch), he likes to crack short jokes with you here and there.

"Bebita, come look at this!" Miguel yells from his in front of your bedroom's television. "What is it, Miguel?" you ask, peaking your head out of the bathroom. "They say it's going to be windy today," He juts his chin towards the TV screen before refocusing on tying his tie. "Take precaution." "Miguel," you scoff. "What? I don't want you getting swept up by the wind." "Okay, firstly, you know damn well-"

If you're taller than him, Miguel also has jokes for that.

"Bebita, could you please pass me that plate over there?" Miguel asks, pointing his chin at a cabinet shelf that is directly at eye level with him. "Miguel," you give him a pointed look. He shrugs at you, continuing to wash the dishes. "Hey, don't put things up so high if you don't want me to ask you to get them." (For the next week, you started putting all the dishes in the bottom drawer)

The jokes, however, are only reserved for him. If anyone else makes a joke about your height, Miguel gets upset. Just ask Hobie. One time, Hobie asked you how you couldn't tell him what the weather was like from up there (all in good fun) and Miguel, who had no context of the conversation and walked in at the wrong time almost crucified him.

Miguel secretly loves how you two look together. As the head of the Spider Society (again, he likes to be the big, scary boss man), he enjoys the presence that you two create together. Domineering, commanding. Whether you two are in uniform or formal clothing - when you two talk, people listen.

If you work out, Miguel loves to go to the gym with you. Not only because he likes to see you in workout gear (though trust him, that is a very, very, very big plus) but because he finally has somebody who understands the struggle of putting on (visible) muscle.

Miguel loves kisses with you. He's always been very big physical touch in relationships but never before has it been so easy to just steal a kiss. And so, it has been become his favorite pastime.

Miguel loves to see you in dresses and shorts and heels. Anything that accentuates your height. Sometimes when you come home, you see a dress or a new pair of shoes that you've been wanting. However, other times, you find an article of clothing or shoes from a brand that you didn't even know existed. But if it's jeans or a maxi dress, they always cover your legs, if it's a regular shirt, your stomach isn't exposed, and whatever it is always looks good on you.

Sometimes when cuddling, Miguel will just start tracing and/or kneading random parts of your body because there's just so much of you to love and he doesn't know where to start.

At the end of each and every day, no matter if you're taller or shorter than him, Miguel likes to make you feel safe and protected. He likes to play the role of protector/provider and makes you feel taken care of and comfortable.

Bonus: "Your children are going to be some stallions, ain't they?" Hobie says, looking between you and Miguel. You laugh but Miguel glares at him with a scowl that would make most start running for the hills. "Stallions, eh?" you repeat later that night, in bed with him. While not a fan of you slowly assimilating to Hobie's humor, Miguel chuckles dryly and pulls you closer to him. "Indeed," he says, placing a kiss to the top of your head.

[brights-place]

The Boondocks with an Mother figure! Reader

Pairings: Riley X Reader, Huey X Reader (All Platonic)

Warnings: Fluff, Cursing,

A/N: Man I grew up with the Boondocks! love the show so much it was so funny and still is funny to see! Anyways imma do an motherly figure! - Okay LISTEN! LISTENNN! these boys have no parents they live with their fucking grandpa so you being an motherly figure to them is... Wild! - You were their neighbor so you wanted to greet them with your S/O but he/she/they/it was too busy at work so you went to greet them by yourself - You made some Sweets and came by smiling at them as Grandpa freeman opened the door to show you smiling at him who greete d you as you exchanegd conversation and handed him the container filled of baked goods before noticing an young boy by the age of 9 with cornrows raise an eyebrow judging you while an 10 year old beside him with an afro eyed you - You waved to them before waving goodbye to grandpa freeman "I'll invite you for dinner sweet pea" grandpa freeman said smiling as you smiled nodding "My partner and I will gladly come along!" you soon left after that - You have tried to befriend the two young boys but failed... - NGL I see Grandpa freeman see you as an daughter and cares for you - Wouldn't threaten you with an belt at all but maybe would whoop the two boys asses aka Huey and Riley most of the time when your around he doesn't hesitate at all unless you are used as a human shield - First of all, they didn’t trust you but then you started offering to babysit them when they were unsupervised. The two boys were more reluctant to accept your pressence, although they were polite with you... well Huey was RIley on the other hand would swear at you - You always took good care of them, you watched them closely and made sure they ate proeprly and didn’t get hurt... - When grandpa freeman says anything sexual around the two you gave the male an disgusted look just like the two boys and go try to cover their ears the best you could - When needed too you Cover the two's eyes whenever something bad would effect them which confuses the two since they were used to this type of shit but Huey didn't try to peak while Riley was squirming saying he wanted to see what the hell was going on - Riley is a highly impressionable third grader. He embraces the stereotypical "gangsta" lifestyle, doing his best to promote the urban culture in the contrasting suburb of Woodcrest since he was HEAVILY Influenced by the mass media via rap music and television, he frequently uses poor grammar, and tends to defend his idols even when his imitations go against common sense and righteousness... BUT DAMN WHEN HE SAW YOU WHOOP SOMEONE IS ASS WITH YOU IN HEELS? HE WAS GAWKING! - Huey is a highly intelligent 10-year-old boy, who rarely smiles or laughs, and recognizes and detests the absurdities (both obvious and perceived) of the society in which he lives. His cynicism often touches upon subjects such as politics, religion, the media, businesses and corporations, African-American culture, and American society as a whole. Tending to be obstinate in both manner and speech which makes you freak out on how an 10 year old knows ALOT! - Huey has shown like ALOT OF DEPTH! of understanding that would seem to surpass his young age, such as knowing roughly what is going to happen in the future based on the actions and personalities of the people involved... Which makes you concerned asking him if he or riley had even gotten a proper childhood... - Riley when he is close to getting his ass whooped would run towards you screaming and hide behind your legs as you stare in utter confusion when he jumps into your arms or hides behind your legs as Grandpa freeman stop and stare at you "Put the boy down Sweet pea I gotta beat this boys ass!" You stared at Grandpa Freeman before staring at riley before running away with the child in your arms screaming as Huey just stared at the chaos unfolding - After awhile you would cpome visit and would try to offer to braid rileys hair which he doesn't allow at first...

- When he does get comfy though and needs his cornrows to be fixed or get a new design he would go to you sit down between your legs on the couch while picking up his controller which makes you laugh - You and Huey discuss lots of things together and compliment and praise the young boy fro his work which he is thankful for - You are seen like a motherly figure to them after 7 Months of meeting you due to your sweet personality - For Riley and Hueyy felt so nice to have someone caring for them other then grandpa freeman. After all they didn't grow up with a good relationship with their parents or didn't have any? you didn't know - You are shocked by the boys is skills... like THEY KNOW SELF DEFENSE! in an shocking way and have done things no child would have done but this was Woodcrest... - Huey and Riley would come up to you if they ever finish a test and show you their scores huey always getting 100 and Riley getting... lets not talk about riley is scores - They both enjoy how you pat their heads when they do something right - Whenever they try to cuss infront of you, they always get an glare from you "Boy if you even try that Imma get your grandad to whoop you" You stated with an smile that held an menacing aura - You panic sometimes when you come to visit and see the boys attack eachother with weapons and they both stop quickly when you shout their names and scold them - If you ahve siblings though and their is a party at your place due to your partner hosting it they would be amazed how you are a whole different person cussing out your siblings - The other woodcrest neighbourghs wood also be shocked to see you close to whooping your younger/older sibling(s) asses with your purse cause they ate the last piece of your favourite food - You definetly will have to step in between Riley and Huey sometimes to stop them from killing one another which always freaks you out - You were staying over and helping Grandpa freeman with his upcoming date but you brought some sweets and got some of them eating one before lifting one up and walking towards you and Huey who were sitting on teh couch talking about one of Hueys recent experiments "Yo ma! what the fuck is this-" Riley froze when he realized what he said as Huey froze aswell turning to Riley with an raised brow as you stared at Riley - Riley spoke "Yall N**** ain't heard shit!" Riley said quickly but was to late when you rushed over hugging riley "AWWWW! RILEYYYY!" Huey glared at Riley who was getting your attention as Riley scoffed hugging you back - Riley and Huey wouldn't call you Ma, or Mother in public only in private cause they didn't want to seem like 'Pussies' by rileys words but to Huey he just doesn't want you to know he see's you as a mother figure - For huey the first time he call you Ma/mother was when you praised him for succeding in one of his experiments he worked REALLY hard on - he was in the garage and his eyes widened when he saw he succeed on making the bomb he had spent so long on... So when you come by he perks up slightly which is unusual and grabbing your hand taking you to the garage and telling you about his... 'Experiment' that def isn't a bomb and how long it took "Thats amazing Huey! your such a Genuis! you are an intelligent young boy I'm very proud of you" you stated with an sweet smile patting his head while his afro cause you didn't know where to pat as he stares up at you and looks away smiling slightly which wasn't shown well "Thanks Ma" Riley was walking past to grab his basketball before having his jaw drop so fast when hearing those quiet words from Hueys lips - Huey denies he ever said it but would say it to you in private. - He enjoys that he doesn't have to always be the responsible one in the family even if you live next door - They call you mom/momma/mum/mama/ma/mother - Believe it or not Huey respects you more than anyone in this world, I mean- have you seen yourself when you protected them of a group of assholes

- It’s still strange for you to know why some people hated the two boys Riley he has definitely called you “mom/mama” ) sometimes... and YES, Huey is still mocking him for that, when he does, surprisingly Riley does not get violent, he just scowls in shame and shouts “Well, SHE IS our mom! right?”  he just looks at you with the most confused and adorable expression ever made and you just can’t say no to him. - The two boys are very thankful for you like REALLY THANKFUL! even if they don't show it alot - Grandpa freeman is very greatful for having you around so he didn't have to always look after those assholes

reblogs + comments are appreciated ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

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