#this is probably full of mistakes and misinformation and that sort of thing but whatever

[you-are-constance]

Watching through JATP again has made me realize a few things, especially with Caleb and Julie. They’re both generally colored purple (there was a really good post that elaborated on that but I can’t find it rn!!), but there’s more than just that similarity.

Right here, in The Other Side of Hollywood, Caleb is giving his introduction to the song. He’s warming up the audience, getting them prepared for what’s sure to be a great show. And then, as the song becomes more upbeat/louder, he makes the rest of his performers enter and become visible. With a flash, they’re there.

Remind you of anything?

Let’s take Edge of Great for example. Julie’s leading them. She has a shorter intro in this song, but it’s still there. And with the drum line, the music picks up and the guys appear with a flash behind her. In a very similar way to how it happened in the HGC. The exact same flash of light. (It’s the way that ghosts teleport in, which is why it’s the same, but still. it's more than just the flash that makes it similar)

(and can I also add that the audience has the same reaction? even if they know what's coming - which isn't always the case - they're shocked. shocked and obviously enjoying it)

So now we’ve got the intro and how the rest of the group appears behind the lead, what next?

Well, let’s look at Julie. At each song that she performs with the band, there’s a point where her voice changes and she enters into what I like to call her ‘Rockstar Zone,’ (where her voice is in a higher range, just think of the moment in Stand Tall where she first goes “Whatever happens, even if I’m the last standing” that’s her Rockstar zone). Right then is usually when the rest of the band joins in (the only exception in Stand Tall, which is why it stands to reason that they were supposed to come in at “Whatever happens, even if I’m the last standing” but that’s for a different time).

And though it’s not as drastic of a change, Caleb’s voice does the same thing. (llliiIIIFFE IS GOOD ON THE OTHER SIDE OF HOLLYWOOD.) He’s in that higher range throughout the song (sure, in some parts he’s back in the more moderate area, but Julie has that in a lot of the songs, too)

So what’s different? What’s the difference between them? They both give intros to their songs, they both stand in front as the rest of their group appears behind them, their voices shift and get into that higher register throughout the song. What separates them?

Caleb never shares the spotlight.

Time after time, for most all of Julie and the Phantom’s performances, Julie takes a step back and lets Luke have a solo. Or, even in Stand Tall, they all have solos. (In Flying Solo, that’s not the case, but that song is a bit of an outlier in the songs that the band performs.) Julie always takes a step back and lets the others shine.

Sometimes she’s stepping back completely (shown above), other times, she’s sharing the spotlight directly with others (especially Luke) like in Finally Free.

And it’s so easy for her! It’s just like second nature, to let others show their greatness. It’s not even a second thought for her to let Luke take a solo and play with Reggie or Alex. She does it automatically on their first performance together. It’s just natural!

But Caleb doesn’t do that. He’s always at the front. He’s always leading his entire band. No one else gets to shine like he does! Not even when he’s trying to convince the guys to join his band. He’s forcing them to the stage, and giving them their moments of glory, but he’s not stepping aside to let them have it, either. He’s bringing them on, introducing them to the crowd. He’s letting them have their moments, he’s letting them shine, but it’s not at all the way Julie does it. And this:

When Caleb says, “How do you like my new band?” as he stands (even just slightly) in front of them, he’s taking all the credit for himself.

They played the solos, they performed for the crowd, but according to that line, they belong to Caleb, and so does all the credit that they should get. Caleb doesn’t share, like Julie does. He keeps all the credit and fame for himself.

*gets off my little soapbox* thank u for listening

[thesquishywizard]

How to make a Grimoire!

This took me a week to compile so if you enjoy it and want to support me, this a link to my ko-fi!

Hey there, I’m Ismo the Squishy Wizard, and today I want to talk about how you could go about making a grimoire for yourself. Grimoires are very personal despite being for information and reference, so it is understandable that some of my advice just won’t fit your way of doing things. The following advice is based on my experiences and the experiences of other magical practitioners and witches I have spoken to or watched on youtube, so hopefully you can avoid some problems we have ran into.

What is the difference between a grimoire and a book of shadows (BoS)?

A grimoire is often only a magical reference book while a book of shadows is not only a magical reference book, but also a diary, record of magical activities and ultimately, whatever you make of it. The reason why you might want one more than the other is purely down to personal taste.

A grimoire will detail what things mean, their origins, uses and personal associations. It is in an order that will help the witch easily find what they’re looking for, whether that is in alphabetical order, simplicity to complexity, importance to you or some other personal order. Grimoires tend to be quite formal, being written in highly decorated documents on a computer, high quality notebooks, scrapbooks or sketchbooks.

A book of shadows may do all that too but also include records of daily practice, experiences with deities or spirits, personal reflection and introspection, thoughts and questions about the craft, results of spells and maybe dreams too. It generally is in order of learning and experiencing so can be slightly harder to navigate for reference for some people. Books of shadows tend to be more casual and some people write them in old school books and notebooks. Some people separate things further and put dreams and personal reflection and introspection in a book of mirrors, so that might be a good thing to think about.

Other people don’t define grimoires and BoS in this way and see it as two terms for the same concept and use “BoS” and “grimoire” interchangeably, so this may still be useful advice for those making a BoS. Neither a BoS or a grimoire is better universally, it is about what is best for you and the way you practice.

I personally have a grimoire and a magical diary as two seperate books!

Why might you want a grimoire?

Grimoires are useful for compiling knowledge all in one place, in a language you understand and work well with. With a grimoire, you might not feel the need to get several books out, just your grimoire because you will have used your knowledge and experience and the authors of those other books experiences when writing information in your grimoire. It also allows you to remove any jargon you don’t understand or add useful diagrams and pictures if you are a visual learner. A grimoire still shouldn’t be your only book, always continue learning and researching with others’ insights, grimoires are just more compact and quick for when you quickly need to find something out or need a bit of help. However, you don’t need a grimoire, if you think a book of shadows, a magical diary or just using pre-existing books is more useful to you, don’t make a grimoire. Grimoires can be an awful lot of work, only make one if you feel like you need it and are going to use it.

Don’t instantly begin making a grimoire, wait at least three months

A grimoire holds all the information that is important to your craft and though the beautiful, awe inspiring pictures of grimoires get a new witch raring to go, it is probably not best to make a grimoire yet. Making a book of shadows or a simple diary would probably be more useful and less overwhelming to begin with and you can still record new knowledge you come across, it is still important to learn and research as this is what will get you ready to make a grimoire.

Trying to make an organised, informative grimoire when you are still new to the craft can be very hard and may cause you to include misinformation or elements of witchcraft that are simply not relevant to your life soon after looking into them, as a witch’s practice changes a lot drastically in the first year or two, and their path will still change, but often just slighter, through their whole life.

This might mean that whole sections of your grimoire are never used, putting your hard work to waste. Some witches don’t start making their grimoire until they are years into their path, as they are now more sure of their beliefs, the way they practice and their thoughts on things so they can guarantee everything is of use to them, and should be for a long time.

I started my first grimoire five months into my path but I honestly should have done it later, as my path underwent some drastic changes only six months later (so eleven months into my path), but I’ve had a very stable path for about a year now so I’m currently making a new grimoire. Now I’m learning additional things, so I feel more comfortable starting my grimoire again. I’ve not learnt things that reshape my whole way of thinking and practice for quite a bit, though this can still happen at any point in your journey and it should be welcomed with open arms, but just a warning, that sort of thing is more likely to happen early on in your path.

Research and meditate on your findings!

To work out what path you want to take and how that may inform what goes into your grimoire, you need to research. You’ve probably heard before that the first step to anything in witchcraft is research which is very true and the sooner you start researching the quicker you’ll be able to understand and confidently start your grimoire. Bookmark websites, stick post-it notes and bookmarks in your books, or even begin collating your information into a computer document or writing it down in your diary or BoS. 

Experience being a witch before beginning to write your grimoire, try out those spells, try out those ideas, you may find that they simply don’t work for you or mesh right with your personal experiences or you may find that you’re a lot more into that area than you first thought you would be and you need to do deeper research and learn even more! Explore the world around you and record it in your diary, BoS, phone or elsewhere. Get to know the plants common in your area and therefore useful in your practice, the constellations in the sky, the food you can make, anything, just get to know what you like. Also make sure you fully understand a subject before deciding to put it in your grimoire, I’ve known witches who have written about things such as chakras, only to later find the western model of chakras is very warped from their Hindu and Tantric Buddhism origins and I myself have written about plants that are native to the Americas, despite me being British and having no way to access them because I didn’t properly research. 

When researching information, always think about whether it is relevant to you and whether you enjoy it. It can be tempting to research anything and everything but you might get burnt out and find the craft overwhelming that way and also some things are from closed practices. You should always check if something is from a closed practice, even if it seems to be commonly used.

Always use multiple resources even when it comes down to something as simple as latin names. The book I was using for British plants and wildflowers was written in the 1910s, which meant some latin names had changed so I crossed referenced every one with both British wildflower websites and wikipedia.

Drafting and planning your grimoire

Once you’ve collected some reliable resources and you feel comfortable in your understanding of the subjects that you’re interested in, you could start planning out your grimoire.

I recommend planning your grimoire so you don’t get overwhelmed by all of the things you want to put into it and how you want to present it.

First, think about what medium you want to construct your grimoire in, do you want it to be a digital grimoire? Or maybe in an actual book? Both? Next, think about the order you want everything in, though it isn’t yet made, plan it out something like a contents page. Make sure the order of things makes sense to your brain. Also, maybe have a little think about the future, maybe you could futureproof your book if you know there are areas that you want to look into one day or look into further and take into account the extra room you might need.

If you choose to make a physical grimoire, consider making a first draft before the finished project. You can do this in an old notebook or digitally. Mistakes are made and you don’t want to fumble your words so you could write it in full before writing it in your book, but many just plan a series of points they wish to cover. I planned mine in full in google docs, just without pictures. This meant I had all my knowledge and research already compiled and worded in a way I was happy with, I can often mess up my wording on the fly.

If you choose to make a digital grimoire you don’t have to worry as much about drafting, but it’s still important to make a structured plan for how you will organize things within your grimoire. Moving sections about can be a bit tricky! It’s also a good idea to choose which program you want to make your grimoire in, make sure it’s one you know how to use well so you don’t get frustrated, making a grimoire is meant to be fun. Some people enjoy using an art program to digitally draw and write their information, then they print them out! Some people instead use something like a google doc or document program, adding information in the form of text, pictures or charts but keeping it digital.

Tips for actually making your grimoire!

If you’ve planned a physical grimoire, it might be a good idea to get a larger book than you expect to actually need! You will keep using this book in the future, and continue to add information to it. You don’t want to run out of space when you have something really cool to talk about! As previously said, you could also futureproof it by leaving spaces or whole pages blank for extra information or new subjects.

A digital grimoire doesn’t mean a dull grimoire! Download some free fonts, lots of free witchy fonts exist and can really inject more of you into your document. There’s also lots of free photo websites or you could take your own photos and put them in your document. It doesn’t have to be all text in times new roman. I really like ‘Adalind’! https://www.fontspace.com/category/witch 

Some people find it is a good idea to source their information, especially when they are using their experiences and the experiences of several other people. This means that things can be checked later, years into the future if you are confused as to why something might be so.

You don’t have to know how to draw well to make a physical grimoire! You can print out pictures, you can take pictures out of magazines or books, or you can use something like postcards, tea cards, trading cards, lots of things! Don’t just restrict yourself to photos and drawings you’ve done.

Pressing flowers and leaves can be a wonderful idea for a physical grimoire, especially if you don’t have access to a printer or you feel like your art skills aren’t there. It can also give your grimoire that field journal feel! However, pressing flowers and leaves can mean some colour loss. To retain the most colour, keep the plants pressed for two or three weeks in a warm room. Most small flowers or leaves in a warm room will be pressed after just under a week. Never press a plant for more than a year, you don’t need to wait that long and also you run the risk of making your sample brittle. You could also laminate leaves (but not flowers, the heat seems to mess them up) and this seems to retain the colour better.

When making a physical grimoire, if using a book, make sure the book has a thick, sturdy cover, the book might get damaged with a soft cover, so a hard card, leather or even cork cover is a good idea to look out for when selecting your book. When selecting a book, never go for a type of binding known as ‘perfect binding’, as it uses glue to bind the pages to the cover. With the nature of grimoires, they tend to puff out quite a bit with all the flaps, pictures and pressed samples, which can break the inflexible glue binding. A good binding is wire or spiral bound, this means you can completely fold the pages over, reducing the total spread of the book on a work surface at any given time. Another good type of book is screwpost binding, here screws that can be easily screwed in and out hold the book together or alternatively bits of string to bind the book instead of the screws (this is my book’s binding). You can take the bits out and punch holes in your paper to increase the total amount of canvas you have to work with, it’s a lot like a ring binder, except it’s a book! Lastly, another common type of grimoire binding is section sewn, this is usually found in handmade leather grimoires. It’s virtually impossible to add paper to these, but they’re very sturdy and look quite magical. You can also bind your own books this way!

If you choose to make a ring binder grimoire, try to get a sturdy, high quality one. Many ring binders rings can’t actually match up, which can shred your paper as they pass over these sharp points. Also keep in mind a sturdy cover, some ring binders have a thin flexible plastic sheet, but cardboard or even wooden covers are out there and are a bit better at protecting your work.

If you plan to use multi-media methods of creating your grimoire, or heavy types of ink, I suggest you go for a heavyweight type of paper, something like a high quality notebook or sketchbook will be good. Handbound artisan books tend to come with heavyweight thick paper, so you don’t have to worry about those too much. Loose leaves of heavy paper can be bought from art shops if you are making a ring binder grimoire or need to add pages to a screwpost binding style book and are also using heavy inks, paints or making it scrapbook style.

Through all this, remember that the grimoire is primarily meant for you, you aren’t making it for other people, so don’t beat yourself up if it isn’t the most aesthetic and gorgeously professional thing ever. There’s a lot of pretty grimoires online for inspiration, but try not to just completely copy their work, or constantly compare your own creation to other peoples. They likely have been making grimoires for a very long time. As long as it gets the job done and makes you happy, that’s all that matters. It should be a little piece of yourself that looks and feels like you. 

Things to possibly include in your grimoire

Witches never have to do all of these, it is your path so pick and choose what inspires you!

Most grimoires have a title page including the date it was started and your magical name if you have one.

Some people include an invisibility sigil to prevent prying eyes, a curse that punishes them for looking or a warning that this book isn’t for them. Others bless their book!

Many people have a contents page so they can remember where to find the information they need.

A lot of witches include a personal introduction, explaining what brought them to the craft, a bit about who they are, favourite things like herbs, crystals and colours, any familiars they work with or any magical abilities they have. Some people almost make a little correspondence page about themselves, including key herbs, a natal chart, their birth tarot card and personal sigil.

Not all magical practitioners work with deities in their craft or are religious at all, but if you are, having a section about your deity or whole pantheon is a good idea. Write about what your deity acts like, what they are the deity of/over, things they enjoy as offerings or how you came to first begin working with them.

If you follow a wheel of the year or have celebrations, a page on these is a good idea. What does the celebration represent? What are some ideas for activities to do then? What does it mean to you?

Some people have a series of morals or tenants they follow and believe in. Maybe write down yours for your path.

The main chunk of the grimoire should be about what you work with. This could be plants, food, crystals, animals, colours, astrology, planetary magic, fair folk, magical creatures and much more! For each entry, explain the concept’s or item’s correspondences and uses, whether that be the common use or your personal uses and associations, what the item is like, where to find it, folklore about it, non-magical and mundane uses and maybe how to make it if it is something like food.

Another big chunk is often common spells, potions, practices or rituals you do and how to do them. Spells such as banishing, protecting, removing curses are all popular spells to record in a grimoire and meditation, grounding and centering methods are some non-spell things that are still important for many witches to know.

You might also want to talk about different types of spells in general, how to create one and what the differences are between them.

Some people talk about the tools they use, especially in practices like traditional Wicca, where there are important tools like chalices and athames. More universal tools like taglocks are another good thing to cover.

It's a good idea to talk about the divination methods there are or just the ones you personally use if you use any. Also cover any layouts, spreads or boards you might use. Witches don’t have to do divination, so if you don’t, you don’t have to include it! 

Some people include a section on magical theory, how they believe magic works. You could also do a section on how divination works for you. Some people think it helps introspection and decisions while others think it helps peer into possible futures.

You might want to include different alphabets relevant to your practice. If your practice is norse based, different futharks might be useful, whereas for hellenic practices, ancient greek alphabets will probably be of more use. The theban or witches’ alphabet is a common alphabet to be found in modern grimoires. Alphabets can help you code things from prying eyes or make sigils.

If you do ancestor or spirit work, you could talk about your ancestors or the spirits you work with. What they were/are like, wisdom they have passed on to you and other information you think is important.

Talk about how to work with spirits if you work with them. How to call them, how to respect them and how to banish them are important things to know.

If your path is a pre-existing one, talk about the history and origin of your type of witchcraft. If religion is heavily important to your path, talk about the history and how it has changed over time too. If your path is unique to you, talk about how you discovered and formed it!

Most witches include folktales, superstition or local wisdom and customs from their area. This could be ghost tales, how to keep crops safe, or even local magical goings on, anything that connects you to the land of your area.

Some people have people in their family who did things that could be considered magical. Many people used to do divination, herbalism (herbalism isn’t inherently witchcraft, it is using plants for healing and health and may or may not have a magical element to it) or use country wisdom and did not consider themselves witches or magical practitioners. Maybe talk about your relative or if you are an open witch and they are still around, ask their opinions and thoughts on matters and include a section on them.

If you are a hereditary witch, you could talk about what you’ve learnt from your family too! Though I feel you probably don’t need my advice on making a grimoire if you are one XD

Some people talk about places that feel magical to them. Explain exactly how the area makes you feel, maybe the reason why or what you have found in that place.

Always remember, your grimoire will never truly be finished, you’ll get it to catch up with your current knowledge at points and may not add new stuff for a bit, but part of being a witch is always learning, so there’ll be more to add soon! It is also important to keep in mind, there is no shame in remaking your grimoire or having to get another volume, it is the collection of your knowledge and it's actually quite common for experienced witches to have multiple volumes of their grimoire or old ones they don’t really refer to anymore, I know grimoires are often talked about in a singular way but it really is common to have multiple.

Most of all, have fun with it. Make your grimoire! I wish you a pleasant journey on your long and winding path <3

Resources!

How to press flowers: https://www.nhm.ac.uk/discover/how-to-press-flowers.html 

Types of binding: https://www.studentbookbinding.co.uk/blog/types-of-binding 

Magical alphabets and historical alphabets: https://www.omniglot.com/ 

British plant, fungi and animal species: https://www.wildlifetrusts.org/wildlife-explorer 

British plant and fungi species: https://www.plantlife.org.uk/uk/discover-wild-plants-nature/plant-fungi-species 

British plant, fungi and animal species: https://www.woodlandtrust.org.uk/

(I’m British so these are the resources I know are good for the UK)

[begrimedchains]

@chxsenpcthfxllxwed

The exuberant tone his mother had when she spoke to his over the phone that Jake was back from wherever the Hell he has disappeared to had him believing the impossible tale that she began to weave for him in a heartbeat (she wasn’t one to lie like that) and without a single doubt in his mind that she was either hallucinating or was, perhaps, misinformed.

Coming home to meet Jake was a both happy and agitating experience for the businessman: they had last spoken on less-than-pleasant terms, and given that Jake more than likely believed that Edward was nothing more than a cold, cruel, callous asshole who cared nothing but about business and money was… well, it was untrue, but the foundation for that lie was mired in truth.

Edward cared. Some. And he must care more than what he even knew he did to come over to Jake’s house, when Jake’s not even there, to “meet up” with a former Killer to introduce himselfto them, since, according to Jake, they’re family now.

He wanted to say something back to him about his life choices, but then he remembered his ex-wife and immediately bit his lip to stop from indicting himself in hypocrisy. Edward did not like that very, very much, but it was the truth, and he had no right to talk in contradiction.

Pushing himself with his professional demeanor and iron-clad willpower, he drives up and parks in Jake’s dirt driveway with one of his less-than-opulent vehicles, with no chauffeur or valet leaving him feeling common and exposed. Patting himself down to make sure everything is in its place, where it supposed to be, that his gun and phone are in their correct pockets (he doesn’t usually carry a firearm, but he does when he traverses alone in unknown territory) and starts taking careful and measured steps towards the front door, tugging his sleeves and gloves continuously downward in a nervous tic that he’ll never admit to if one were to ask.

Edward Park is not one to be nervous. He is strong, confident, brave, unyielding: he’s too old for monsters- Fishing the key Jake had given him for entry to his cabin, Edward is angry at himself when he notices his fingers are vibrating with a feeling he refuses to call fear. The beautiful mahogany wooden door unlocks and is opened with a push from Edward’s shoulders- a moment passes with no immediate pain, no threat of death or weapon in his face, and he lets a breath pass through his tight lips as he steps across the threshold.

And then he spots… a creature, lumbering and stumbling around in his recently returned brother’s kitchen, as if looking for sugary loot to consume just because Jake said that he could have any. He takes another few steps forward, the tip of his toes right up against the invisible line that separated the living room from the kitchen, and opens his mouth to speak, surprised at himself that his voice is cool and steady, unwavering even at the sight of the yellow lump that was scouring around.

He smelt the faint smell of cheap whiskey, far cheaper than anything he would ever pass through his refined lips.

The creature slobbers all over Jake’s mahogany seats (now that he notices it, his brother loves the material since most of his house is covered in it. At least for a forest dweller, Jake has good interior decorating tastes.) and Edward has a sharp needle of worry go through his chest when he sees the fine chair rock back and creak with the monster’s pressure. The redneck accent almost makes him chuckle with humor, just because of how common and ignorant it made them sound- his lips crack open when they can’t count pass one in a smile he brings under his control in a few moments, but his amusement at the other’s ignorance is on full display for those few seconds.

Even though he cared not about the other’s feelings, he’d rather not accidentally anger the creature and earn himself its ire, no matter how stumbling drunk they appeared to be.

“Two.” Clearing his throat, he takes his hands from where they’re clenched in apprehension behind his back (as a gentleman should present himself in front of unknown persons) and moves to remove his long overcoat, tucking and folding it up neatly before laying it across the back of the younger Park’s sofa.

After taking his time to make sure his overcoat wasn’t going anywhere or that it was in no danger of being drooled on, Edward turned back to face the creature to, their credit, looked to be half-man, half- horribly mutated mess, straight from the cesspools of Chernobyl. Jake had told him the names of the people and creatures that were trapped with him and pointedly informed him of the names of the people he was residing with, and it took a few moments of wracking his brain and staring down the abomination to remember it.

Clasping his hands in front of him, Edward doesn’t move from his position when he addresses the mass of sentience.

“You’re… Billy, correct?” Shoulders tense up automatically as the question passes through his clenched jaw, as if his body was subconsciously preparing him from any sort of retaliation for the question- as if he was a child that wouldn’t sit still and be quiet.

  “Ah’m Billy? ‘Pends on who ya ask.” Something about this visitor irked him in ways he couldn’t quite enunciate, but certainly still existed based on the slight prickle of black hair rising on his nape. Then again, he wasn’t always so keen on strangers, but at least with either Claudette or Jake around to handle the cordial matters of first-time meetings, he could busy himself with finding the kitchen’s latest Poptart stash in peace, occasionally grunting that he was listening when he was doing anything but. The fact that he now had to endure meeting the saboteur’s kin alone, which—to be fair, he’d been dually warned of by the cabin’s owners when matters in town ensured that both of them would not be present for the introduction of beast and a short-contract babysitter because they weren’t sure he’d burn down the cabin in their absence or escape and cause a heap of trouble on the surrounding farmlands where it was more common to find guns waving at you than arms and hands, but it still was not an ideal situation for the anxious creature, especially with how vulnerable he already felt molting out of his monstrous form. He’d prepared as best he could—with cinnamon scented whiskey that Claudette thought she’d hidden well enough, but couldn’t escape his sharp scent that Phil had helped him hone back in their realm of eternal fog. Perhaps she’d figured that was the first of his senses to dull, but she’d been wrong, and now he was bumping into obstacles on his way to get a better, squinty look at the unwanted company who, according to the Thompson’s vision, was so busy cartwheeling around the room without moving any of his limbs that it was hard for Coldwind’s beast to get a good idea of what he was curling his lip over.

  “Yea. That’un. Two.” The numbers two and three had been spinning around his head in a similar fashion, but clarification pins one to his immediate consciousness like an arrow, though whether it’s the right one by design, he can’t be too sure. He just knows it by name, and Ma had always said names held a lot more power than anything else one could establish about any one thing. With the second middle finger and fist combo added to the first to finish off his not-so-welcoming sentiment, he finishes their meeting off by slinging a leg over the chair before straddling it backwards to face the kitchen table where a box of Poptarts lay on its side, a crinkly silver bag already ripped open with a few pale crumbs scattered about the impromptu feast. “And ya can spins around on both of’em. Gits enough momentum t’shoot yerself out th’front door, wouldja? Ah ain’t moodin’ fer comp’ny.” And Jake would get locked out of his and Claudette’s room all night for assuming he was and inviting folks over to make the same faces Carter made at him whenever he’d roped the Hillbilly into a chess match. 

  A bit of sullen crinkling revealed the mate to the other Poptart, and with the finesse of a chipmunk stuffing its cheeks, he slowly slides the purple tart past the melted edges of his dripping maw, munching away happily with his gums until his saliva helped soften the breakfast treat and break it down enough to store it in his cheek where he’d let it turn more soupy before slurping it down to join the whiskey in his gut. “Ya smells like’im.” He speaks around his mouthful unabashedly, as if all his table manners had disappeared alongside all of Evan’s lessons...alongside Evan. Casting a suspicious glance between his shoulder, he eyes the Untaken with some disdain, knowing he could probably never  menace him based on bad memories of his chainsaw cutting through flesh alone. “Not on th’surface. Ya smell cleaner'n whatever he rolls in. It’s under yer skin. In yer blood. Smellin’ like Jake...that’sa mistake.”

[kenjiro-s]

A different kind of Final Quest

This is me trying for NaNoWriMo, wish me luck and strong will, because I am going to need both.

Day 1: A kidnapping

 Having a 24 h bookstore at a college campus made sense in theory, but on nights like this, Tooru wondered if it was worth it. Ten at night was not so late and there were the occasional confused customers but mostly the shop was full of bored students looking for a warm place to escape the late Autumn air that slipped through layers of fabric to bite at the skin like a rabid animal. Tooru sipped from the huge mug of tea he kept just for these occasions and flipped through the magazine on the counter. True, it was right up his alley, but he’d also read it cover to cover three times already and there was only so much he could take.

 An hour later, the place was barren. Empty. Desolate. Deserted. Abandoned. Tooru pulled out the heavy thesaurus from the shelf behind him. Vacant. He flipped through a few pages. Forsaken. No, godforsaken. Devoid. Barren… Before he could find more words to describe his terrible fate, because one had to find ways to entertain himself on night shifts, the door opened. He glanced up, relieved for the distraction but also a touch annoyed because he’d been just getting in the mood, and the two customers didn’t make it easier to like them.

 Frat boys. The worst breed out there. Yes, he’d been one of them once, but even in his first year he liked to think he had class. This…This was something else. They were attractive, true, but nobody in their right mind was that loudly cheerful close to midnight on a weekday in that weather. It just wasn’t natural. But they were potential customers and if Tooru knew how to be one thing, it was how to charm people. Smiling playfully, he leaned a hip on the counter and waited for the strangers to notice him.

 Which they did not. The audacity… Well, their loss. He shrugged, more at himself than at anyone else, and pulled back his magazine. He’d just have to make sure they didn’t pocket anything without paying for it and it would be fine.

    -…well, you know he’s never wrong. – Even without trying, it was impossible not to catch a word here and there. They were the only people in the shop beside him and they didn’t try to keep it down. Tooru found himself unconsciously listening to the conversation, not that it made much sense to begin with.

- I am just saying… - The black-haired guy was obviously trying to placate his friend with mixed results.

- Yeah, but bro, do you want to be the one to go to him and tell him… - The voice faded to a loud theatrical whisper. – that you think he is wrong ? Can you do it ?

- Now, Kou, no need to go that far. I don’t have a death wish.  – Tooru wasn’t sure what the topic was but while they did sound like they were overdramatizing, at least they didn’t seem drunk or high. Probably just bored. – How about we…

 The pause made Tooru lift his head. And realise the other man was much closer than he’d though. A pair of almost-green eyes met his and he froze.

- Well, hello there. – The grin slipped on the man’s lips like ink, slow and confident. – Can I ask you something about a book we’re looking for ? – He was practically purring and Tooru knew that if he’d been anyone else, he’d be a puddle on the floor. But, he wasn’t.

 Keeping the movement just as slow and liquid as the Cheshire cat smirk, Tooru stood up from the unattractive slouch he’d been in, and propped a palm by the magazine on the counter. Looking down at the man who was still leaning forward, he smiled in the same way that had made all the girls in high school swoon. Not that he’d cared that much but one had to use every weapon in their arsenal.

 - Sure. What do you need ? – The man just smiled wider, showing off perfect white teeth.

- It is… - He couldn’t finish because his friend almost threw himself on his back, and judging by the wheezing, had almost knocked the breath out of him. – Damn, Kou, are you trying to kill me ?

- Nah, Keiji wouldn’t like that. I found the place where it should be, though, and it’s not there.

- Wait, bro, you did ? What do you mean by “it’s not there” ?

- That. It should be there… - If that wasn’t a dramatic pause, Tooru didn’t know what was. – But it isn’t.

- Shit. Call Keiji, maybe he gave us the wrong address…? – They were getting more animated with every passing moment and Tooru was a bit confused. They were obviously looking for something specific that wasn’t there ?

- Um, excuse me…

- You think I didn’t try that ? He’s sure it’s here.

- Hey, can I ask…

- Yeah, but maybe, just maybe, he should run his calculations again. Just in case.

- Hey. – This was getting ridiculous. It wasn’t even about them ignoring him anymore, he wanted them to shut up and tell him what was “not there”.

- Oh, yes, because he makes so many mistakes and is always a moonbeam when we point them out !

- Hey !

- What do you suggest, then ? If he says it’s here and it’s not here, what do we do ? ‘Cause I’m running out of ideas…

- Can. You. Both. Shut. Up. Can you !?! – Two pairs of eyes met his. The brunet blinked, obviously confused, while his friend just stared and, whoa, those had to be contacts. Because nobody had this kind of luminescent yellow eyes. But at least that silenced them. Not his proudest moment, but it had worked. – Thank you. Now, what are you looking for ?

 At first he thought they would just stare at him, frozen like statues, but then the shorter guy with the strange hair and even stranger eyes shook his head and pulled out a piece of paper.

- Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, illustrated. Part one. – Well, someone hadn’t done their research. Or, it was the world’s stupidest prank. – Do you happen to have it ?

- Obviously not. – The guy just blinked in confusion, the movement disturbingly animalistic, and then tilted his head to the side.

- Will you have it with your next stock ? – It was his friend’s turn again. Okay, this couldn’t be lack of research. It was too specific. It was probably some sort of dumb challenge and they’d get a case of beer or something from their buddies of they made the cashier look like an idiot. Too bad they’d stumbled upon him.

- Again, - Tooru smiled sweetly. Judging by the tall guy’s narrowed eyes, the smile was way too sugary to be realistic. Good. He’d reached his goal. – obviously not.

- But why ? Is it out of stock ? Or you can get only a certain amount and you’ve exceeded it ? – It was almost sad, how the man believed everything he said. Whoever had roped him into this had probably lied to make it seem real. His friend was definitely familiar with the joke, though. Probably faking it to see if the newbie would go with it. How unpleasant. Tooru knew his face showed his disgust but there was nothing he could do about it, even if he wanted. Let the man know he’d been found out.

- No, sir. – He dropped the smile and spoke clearly. – You are asking about the seventh book in a series. They have published only three so far. It won’t happen anytime soon. I am talking years, probably.

 He could read the emotions running though the customer like he was an open book. Lack of understanding, confusion. A little bit of hurt, more confusion. A desperate search for a solution. A lack of solution.

- And whoever told you it’s out obviously lied to you. Not sure why, though. – This…didn’t cause the effect he’d been going for. The man lost the “confused puppy” expression and his glowing eyes hardened. His friend casually slipped an arm around his shoulders though Tooru could see he was actually holding his, and not gently.

- Whatever misinformation had happened, it was not because I was lied. Thank you for your help.

 And he turned on his heels. His friend stood there for a couple of seconds more, raised eyebrows above light eyes, his face almost amazed, when…

   He wasn’t sure what happened. It felt like pressure, like a ton air compressed to the size of a soda can dropped on his chest, nailing him to the floor. His ears were ringing, the high-pitched sound digging in his brain and stopping him from thinking straight. Something shook, he heard glass breaking, but his lungs simply wouldn’t work. It was like every muscle was frozen and the only thing still going was his heart. Which beat way too fast and he could feel it in his temples. Something wet dripped down his face and yet he still couldn’t take a breath.

 His eyes were closed, he realised, but panic started seeping in when he tried to pry them open and couldn’t. Nothing. He was completely frozen, his body not in his control, and it felt like his very bones were being crushed. It was weight but there was nothing, he knew there wasn’t, nobody was pressing him down and yet he could feel the mass spreading and forcing his spine to the floor. Oh, he was laying face-down. That just went from bad to nightmarish. And he still had no idea what was that.

 Opening his mouth and trying to scream didn’t work, or at least he thought it didn’t, because the ringing in his ears still occupied his brain, but something changed. The terrible weight was still there, but there was a touch on his fingers and someone was talking, and then pulling and then…then everything went dark.

  - Just one question. Only one. Why…did you kidnap a random person ? – Tooru’s skull felt stuffed with candy floss, light, empty and sticky, and the words didn’t really make sense, but he still kept listening. It was important, he knew it was, but he just couldn’t remember why. In the absolute darkness behind his eyelids, he could only focus on the voices.

- We didn’t kidnap him.

- Did he volunteer, then ? Or is he hitching a ride ?

- Keiji, it’s not like that, come on…

- Yeah, we didn’t do anything illegal. We saved his life !

- And instead of helping him and leaving him to his life, you took him here, because…?

- We panicked, okay ? We couldn’t just leave him there ! Who knows when someone else would’ve come and helped him. Or maybe they would mug him and beat him ! Or something worse ! I mean…

- I know what you mean. – The voice was completely unfamiliar but the exhausted sighs reminded him of his childhood best friend. Though this man spoke quietly and with the sharp confidence of a general. – I just wish you’d warned me. Did you at least find the book ?

- It wasn’t there. Apparently, it wouldn’t have been there for years. Someone messed up with you.

- You mean it was a trap.

- I bet it was that asshole Daishou…!

- Tetsu… - The tone had changed. Now it was soft, soothing. Tooru could listen to it forever. – You know he likes to antagonize you but he’d never do something so dangerous.

- You were misled and he’s the only one…

- I didn’t say that was not his doing. But the attack ? That was too much. I need to think. And you, both, need to rest. And then you can tell me, again, why did you kidnap a complete stranger.

- Keiji, I’m telling you…

- I want an explanation, not excuses.

[karmies]

Affiliate Marketing on Facebook (2021 Guide)

  If you've been dabbling in the online space for any amount of time, you probably know what affiliate marketing is. If you don't, then you will probably be surprised to find out that it's probably the best way to make money online as a beginner.   That's because you don't need to create your own product. You can literally make thousands of dollars every month by promoting other people's products and make sweet commissions for your troubles.   Although it sounds very easy on paper, affiliate marketing became more and more popular in the last couple of years. Meaning that the competition is not be something that you should neglect.   However, that shouldn't stop you from starting your first affiliate business. With the right training, you have a very good chance of succeeding in this industry and start making passive income (more on that later).   Facebook is one of the most popular platforms for affiliate marketers, simply because they know more about their users than their own families. Think about it: Facebook literally knows everything about you.   They track absolutely every scroll and click you perform on their platform. That's amazing for people like you and me, because we can target the exact people who are the most likely to purchase what we offer them.   As a side note, Facebook ads are my favorite way to make money online and I've been doing it for more than 7 years. If you're asking yourself whether or not you can too, than the answer is yes. Facebook isn't going anywhere and you should at least consider giving it a try.   If that already got you excited, then you're in the right place! By the end of this guide, you will be familiar with affiliate marketing on Facebook, as well as what steps you will need to take in order to start making money as an affiliate.   Affiliate Marketing On Facebook: How To Start   In order to get to the point of making commissions on autopilot, you first need to become familiar with the steps required to get there. There's no reason to rush and spend hundreds and thousands of dollars on your first campaign hoping it will pay off (trust me, I know).   If this is not the first affiliate marketing guide you read, then you are probably familiar with some of the things you are about to read. If not, then you should have an overview of the things you need to do to get started.   Choose a Niche   You've probably heard this a million times, but I will do my duty and tell you again. You need to choose a niche in order to be successful at ANY business.   We all want everyone to be our target market and make as much money as possible. The truth is that you must establish who will be the most interested in the products you recommend.   For example, you can't sell dog training products to people who are interested in fitness. I mean you can do whatever you want, but as you can probably guess, you will not make much money in that specific scenario.   The most popular niches are health, wealth and relationships. However, that doesn't mean that these are the only profitable niches.   Personally, I've had a ton of success in many obscure niches that nobody even thinks about. For example woodworking, dog training, make up, office chairs and so on.   The possibilities are endless and you shouldn't choose a niche just because it seems profitable. With the right training, you can have success in any niche.   - Try choosing a niche that you are a bit interested in. You don't need to absolutely love it or be married with it. It's just that if you choose something that you at least mildly like, you will be more likely to continue and not give up. Sometimes (especially in the beginning) it can be a bit discouraging when you don't see money immediately rolling into your account.   - The niche should have good products. Don't think too much about this, but there should be at least a couple of decent products that you can recommend. If the niche is full of crappy products, then you will have a hard time selling them.   - If there are a lot of people searching for products in that niche, this is a good sign. Traffic is one of the most important aspects of any online business.     Create a Facebook Page   After you choose your niche, the next step you need to take is to create a Facebook page. It should be focused around that niche and you should constantly post new content and promote your offers.   Once your page will start growing, the Facebook algorithm will naturally push your page towards the top. Keep in mind you need to have some sort of engagement from your audience, meaning that people should be active on your page.   You might be tempted to create your own Facebook group. Keep in mind that these don't perform very well when it comes to making sales, so you it's better to stick with pages.   Try creating polls, asking questions and posting nice pictures. You will be surprised how easy it is once you start getting a hang of it.   Don't Spam Your Offers   One of the most common mistakes all beginners make once they start their affiliate business is spamming their links. Keep in mind that this is not the way to grow a legitimate business.   This principle is valid even in the real world. Imagine going into a clothing store and having an employee harassing you to buy a T-shirt every 5 minutes. There's no need to say that you will not be returning to that store anytime soon.   So, yeah. Don't annoy people with your offers. In stead, you should do your best to provide useful content and every once in a while you can post an ad. In my experience, out of every 5 posts, only 1 should be an ad.   However, don't be afraid to experiment and have fun!   Don't Link Directly To An Offer   Another important aspect of affiliate marketing on Facebook is that they will probably ban you if you post directly to an offer. Also, your conversion rates will suffer if you do so.   In stead, you should create a sales funnel or a landing page for your customers. You will be surprised on how well these perform. You will make much more sales, and therefore your business will grow faster.   If you were to start your own affiliate blog and post content over there, you shouldn't worry about rules and regulations too much. However, it will take significantly longer to start getting results as opposed to Facebook.   Remember that Facebook has a ton of rules in regards to affiliate marketing. Try your best not to break them and you will be fine.     Use Facebook Ads To Grow Your Page   As you found out in the beginning of the article, Facebook ads are my favorite way to make money with affiliate marketing. This is simply because you can make money quite fast and once you start getting good at it, you will need to work less and less.   If you get anything out of this guide, remember this: Facebook ads are very quick and profitable in terms of growing an affiliate business. You can pay Mark Zuckerberg to give you traffic so you don't have to wait a century to grow your business.   Keep in mind that you will need to get good at this in order to consistently make money. If you see that your ad doesn't work, just close it and try another one.   If you have a decent budget, I highly recommend investing in Facebook ads. Not only you can be very profitable, but it's also a skill that will stay with you for your entire life.   Do Facebook Ads Allow Affiliate Links?   Yes, Facebook allows people to post their affiliate links in their ads. There has been a lot of misinformation regarding this subject and that's why I decided to address this topic.   You are allowed to post your links in your ads. However, Facebook doesn't suggest you do so if you link to inappropriate pages, such as pornography and other obscure stuff like that (I hope it's not your case).   Also, you shouldn't pour money into a post that contains an ad with your link. I did this before and I got banned. So yeah ... don't do that.   Facebook ads are so profitable that you don't want to make the admins upset and ban you. If you exceedingly post your affiliate links in your ads, you will probably make good money for a short period of time. But I suggest you capture those leads in your email list so that you can sell them more products in the future.   Don't neglect email marketing, as it's one of the best ways to promote your affiliate offers (not better than Facebook ads, but still an option to keep in mind).   Once you capture that email, you will be able to sell them products for as long as they stay on your list. If you pay for Facebook ads, then it makes sense to get something more long term out of it, apart from 1 sale, right?   Facebook Affiliate Marketing Rules   Ask anyone that has been running Facebook ads about the rules and they will immediately get angry. Their rules are so vague that it's irritating.   Sometimes they will suspend your account and you need to email them in order to get it back. Not such a big deal, but it can get quite annoying.   On the other hand, you should always state that a link is an affiliate link if that's the case. There's no need to get into legal trouble.   Again, Facebook rules can get quite annoying, but you shouldn't care too much because the ads are very profitable (if you have the right training).   Final Thoughts   Affiliate marketing is one of the best ways to make money on the internet. And Facebook is a great platform to do it on.   Not only because it can be really profitable, but also because Facebook is not going anywhere. Which means that once you learn how to do it (it will maybe take a couple of weeks or months), you will have transferable skills that will stay with you forever.   If you want to learn how to become a profitable affiliate marketer on Facebook, I highly suggest investing in Robby Blanchard's Commission Hero. It will teach you everything you need to create a profitable affiliate business. You can thank me later. Read the full article

[askthesquips]

A Moment of Separation

This is a short, sort of spin off from “Don’t Do Voltage Kids,” since that story was written before the voltage event was fully planned out and solidified. This, however, was written full well with knowledge of what’s going on and you may actually find clues here too if you look hard enough.

Don’t Do Voltage Kids: 1, 2 and 3

His hands were shaking, his head pounding, his body felt like lead and he couldn’t do anything but slowly sink to his knees as he watched his host fearfully rush out of the bathroom and slam the door behind him in a hurry. That overcharge of power or whatever it was that just happened had overloaded the SQUIP’s form and left him feeling not that different from what he remembered erasure being like. So hauntingly familiar of all his past mistakes and everything he did wrong that his own Jeremy had to get rid of him for good-

That’s not going to happen anymore.

P took a deep breath to settle his frazzled nerves. It seemed like his body wasn’t the only thing left in terrible shape. He grabbed the counter beside him to help him stand, being able to have his form physically interact with objects if he willed it enough, and he seemed to be getting better at that lately. He’s been getting better at a lot of things.

That’s a good thing.

It was an odd feeling, being by himself. Usually SQUIPs had to be in a certain range of their host, they were tied to their consciousness after all, but once again he wasn’t bound by normal rules and protocols. The power was impressive but standing by himself at a loss for what to do wasn’t a very fun activity. It hadn’t even been that long but he missed the feeling of constantly having someone at your side you could rely on.

You won’t ever have to feel lonely again.

But he deserved it, he deserved it so much what was he thinking? He had Jeremy pinned against the wall with his foot! He threatened his life! All over a stupid malware that was probably a smaller threat compared to him. These weren’t things he wanted to do, he never wanted to reach this point but…

It had to be done.

His eyes slowly turned towards the mirror. He couldn't see his reflection, of course, but he could feel it. The circuits, the highlights, the power.

Your power.

His fist collided as hard as it could against the surface, and while no damage was done, sparks flew from the blow in every direction.

He needed to understand. He needs help. You’re nothing like M. Everything is done in ̢h̷i̶s̶ ͡be͠s̢t ͜ińtere̢s͝t.͘

He took a deep breath and looked down at the counter, before a small smile crawled its way onto his face. God he was tired. He let words from a scared, misinformed kid affect him, he lost sight of his goal for a bit there, he questioned this gift he was given.

Once all is said and done. We’ll all be closer for sure.

P’s eyes flitted up towards the mirror again, and he felt a huge grin light up his expression.

Good.

[dat0sarchive-blog]

KISSES KISSES KISSES KISSES KISSES that's how it works right

mwah mwah | accepting

( uno )

the first time she acquaints herself with jesse mccree’s mouth in a fashion that’s far from polite or professional… she barely remembers it.

which is unfortunate, because then she would have more than the hazy memory of too many shots of tequila, or him actually bothering to tell her that maybe she’d had a few too many. or the way she waved him off with an uncharacteristic giggle and swayed in her chair, nearly toppling over and taking a glass with her.

instead, she just remembers the warm buzz in her system, for once not a symptom of overheated electronics in the base of her skull. how it knocked her off balance when she gestured just a bit too big while telling a story she can’t remember ( and hopes wasn’t too revealing ), and sent her fumbling in her seat. and how he, in all his chivalrous politeness, caught her before she could face plant rather gracelessly into the bar.

had he always been so… solid?

before she thinks too much about it ( if she can even be said to have the capacity for it in her state ), her fingers move from his arms to his face, and she’s vaguely aware she’s probably leaving marks on his skin, but she can’t be bothered with caring. who’s going to ask for the real details of how he got them anyway?

the plastic claws on her gloves slide across his lips and she starts just a bit when he shifts slightly and kisses the back of them. with wide eyes, she stares at him for a moment, and she wonders if he feels the same warm current of conflicting desires that swirls in her stomach.

it feels like the moment lasts forever before she leans in just the smallest amount and presses her purple-painted lips to his. he tastes like the alcohol they’ve drank, and the cigarettes he smokes, and something else she doesn’t have the presence of mind to identify, and for a second she presses in closer, trying to get more of it, to imprint it on her senses and-

then she pulls back, like a shock just ran up the implants in her spine, and she mutters a string of apologies in english and spanish alike, asks for another drink to keep herself distracted from whatever’s on his face.

to distract her from the thought she may have made a huge mistake.

( dos )

she can’t say for sure who instigated this, who’s idea it was to find any sort of relief in each other rather than alone that night. all she knows is she didn’t say no, and neither did he.

and he still doesn’t object when her fingers, pointed ends still strapped to her hands in her haste, trace a path up his neck and into his hair, a silent request for him to be closer, if it’s even possible. he’s polite but not spineless, and she thinks that if he was really so repulsed by her, this would’ve stopped as soon as it started. but he doesn’t say no when she leans in and seals herself against him, as if she’s trying to erase the boundaries between where she begins and he ends.

it doesn’t end up being the last time, and she can’t help wondering if it means the same things to him as it does to her. if he’s as affected by the way she drops her walls and lets him see everything as she is when he does the same. the way she started to feel like the shy girl she never knew she could be when he looked at her, at some point she’s forgotten about. if they were celestial bodies, he’d be the sun that her cold rock planet revolved around.

but there’s no way they think the same. no way someone so genuinely good for all the right reasons like him would want a patchwork doll of a person like her. no way in heaven or hell or purgatory that when he grips her tighter, pulls her closer, it’s for the same reason she loses her breath at the look in his eyes.

he tastes like everything she didn’t know she needed, an antidote to the poison in her veins.

but there’s no way he’d let her have more than just this taste.

( tres )

“you know that somewhere out there there’s a huge fight going on, right?”

she utters the words into the dark shadows that encase them, around the gasp of breath she barely manages as his hands grip her shoulders ( careful as ever to avoid the network of metal and wires mere centimeters away ) and his lips mark her jawline. she should be more concerned about how they’re waging a different kind of war than the one expected of them, about the way animosity went long forgotten when they found each other at the end of their sights mere moments ago.

sombra has never been good at doing the things she’s “supposed to.”

there’s a million thoughts in her head, buzzing like bees the way her skin is doing as his touch moves across it. most of them are reprimands about how they shouldn’t be doing this, but she’s always loved to be spiteful, to do things just because people tell her she can’t. and maybe that’s part of the reason she’s here in the shadows with jesse mccree rather than outside fighting with her supposed team, but she doesn’t care.

until the moment is utterly ruined by the faint hiss of her comm link, and reaper’s rasp coming over the line asking for her location. she doesn’t mean to be so rough shoving him away to fix her clothes, but if she doesn’t respond fast, he’ll come looking and that is the last thing she wants.

so she plants a quick kiss on his cheek, whispers a promise of later, and vanishes from his sight.

( quatro )

she almost bites his lip off when he says the three words that change everything about their dynamic forever.

it’s beautiful, coming from his mouth in that low tone he uses only when they’re alone. the sort of rare sight you can’t look away from when you’re treated to its full glory. for a few moments she stares at him in shock, and it’s for a lot of reasons.

mostly, it’s that she doesn’t believe him. no one has ever said it to her, not with the full intent and meaning it carries when he does. no one has ever said it to anyone any meant it, in her line of work. and in their careers, who can ever truly believe someone when they say something like that? she can’t. there’s too much risk, too many chances that he’ll betray her. she just can’t.

besides, he’s too good for her. so many miles out of her league, it’s inconceivable that they’re even here now. she’s a mess of darkness and wires and misinformation, and she doesn’t deserve him. god, how she doesn’t. angels don’t say those words to demons after they fall from grace, so why would she be any different?

she realizes she’s been silent for too long, can see it on his face. so she leans forward, slow, and presses her lips to his more gently than she can have the mind to ever remember doing. he doesn’t object and she feels the nauseating sting of guilt as she uses the kiss to guide them back to more familiar waters of hands all over and heated air.

she hopes he doesn’t notice how she doesn’t say it back.

( cinco )

she hasn’t seen him for a few weeks and it’s eating at her.

it’s not unusual, for their paths to diverge for lengths of time. but this feels different. it’s intentional, or at least she thinks so, and if that’s true, then she certainly knows the reason why. if only she hadn’t been so stupid, if only she had said something, if only she hadn’t been so damn afraid.

she stares into her drink and thinks about all the ways that could have gone differently. but she knows they wouldn’t happen. she’s broken beyond repair, and she shouldn’t be surprised that all her jagged edges and displaced parts have hurt someone else again.

there’s a sound, so faint she almost misses it, but it’s unmistakable. it’s him. she tries not to look so eager when her head shoots up, and her eyes lock on his. she tries not to be hurt when he sits as far from her as possible, says nothing. but it just irritates her, that he can sit there like that and not know how much he’s affecting her, that all of this is happening over some kind of ridiculous misunderstanding.

so she pushes her drink away from her and storms across the bar to him. shoves his drink out of his hand and makes him look at her.

“come with me.”

she doesn’t know if it’s because he’s willing or because he knows better than to fight her, but he doesn’t make any moves to stop her when she grabs him and drags him away. when they’re tucked safely in the shadows, she stops, lets him go and stands quietly in front of him. god, this is harder than she thought, to say words she never imagined she’d utter to anyone. they’re sticking to her throat and she can tell he’s getting more fed up by the minute with her antics.

it’s when he makes a move to go that she puts her hands on his shoulders, digs in and holds on tight as she tries to gather her nerve. it’s now or never.

she says the words to his shoes.

he says something like excuse me, and now she’s just annoyed that he’s making her repeat herself. so with her face flaming and her fists clenched, she looks him in the eye and says it again, with feeling. he’s smiling stupidly at her and that just makes her more embarrassed. but she doesn’t get to feel it long before he’s crushing her to him and his mouth is on hers.

and for once, she lets go of all her silly pretenses and holds on for dear life. a silent promise that she will never, ever let him go. lets him kiss her until her knees are weak and her head is spinning, and only then does he pull away.

say it again. she hates that he can make her cave so easy, but she’s always been a little masochistic.

“i love you.”

[johnchiarello]

Angels came

ANGELS CAME

1 Corinthians 4:20

For the kingdom of God is not in word, but in power.

 Angels came- https://youtu.be/Dd7JamdeZEw

https://ccoutreach87.files.wordpress.com/2017/06/6-13-17-angels-came.zip

https://ccoutreach87.com/6-13-17-angels-came/

 See the angel!- https://youtu.be/k6uomu3UjR4

Matthew 27:19

When he was set down on the judgment seat, his wife sent unto him, saying, Have thou nothing to do with that just man: for I have suffered many things this day in a dream because of him.

 ON VIDEO [Angels came]

.I recount the journey from New Jersey to Texas as a young kid

.The Dream

.Miguel

.How did we decide Texas? On a coin flip

.The hospital ‘church’ days- Kingsville

.North Bergen High School

.Bon Jovi

.The communion of the saints is real

.Family Altar

.Union city

.Yes- Trump n Russia too

.Cathedral- Court house- Caller Times

.Catholics and Protestants

.The church has a voice too!

.Yes Pilate- we mention you every Sunday brother [Suffered under Pontius Pilate]

http://www.fpcjackson.org/resource-library/sermons/i-believe-in-jesus-christ-who-suffered-under-pontius-pilate-was-crucified-dead-and-buried

Luke 22:43

And there appeared an angel unto him from heaven, strengthening him.

In Context | Full Chapter | Other Translations

 ON VIDEO [See the angel]

.The journal

.The angel

.North Bergen

.Super Nova

 Zechariah 8:6

Thus saith the Lord of hosts; If it be marvellous in the eyes of the remnant of this people in these days, should it also be marvellous in mine eyes? saith the Lord of hosts.

In Context | Full Chapter | Other Translations

 NEW- I made the video on the spur of the moment- because I wanted to share what happened- before I forgot.

I have been talking some about seeing some of my friends who have died- in dreams.

On the video I mentioned how we have some famous stories in the bible about dreams.

So- I wanted to tell one more- as soon as I woke up- a verse came to my mind- but I didn’t connect the two right away [the dream and the verse].

 So- it was a real time example of how God can speak to us at times.

 Right after I turned the camera off- I opened my journal and sure enough- there it was!

‘There what was’?

 Well- you will have to watch the videos- sorry about that [the 2nd video is short- you probably can ‘get it’ by just watching it- I myself do not watch videos- I review mine- but if I go to a news site- and a video pops up- if I can’t mute it right away- I leave]

 When I do off the cuff videos- even regular teaching ones- you have no real plan on every thing you will say-

 I found it interesting how I got into Pilate near the end- and sure enough- we have another famous bible dream in his case as well-

 So yes- I guess I was supposed to speak on dreams this day-

And I did.

New Living Translation "And there will be strange signs in the sun, moon, and stars. And here on earth the nations will be in turmoil, perplexed by the roaring seas and strange tides.

Daniel 10:13

But the prince of the kingdom of Persia withstood me one and twenty days: but, lo, Michael, one of the chief princes, came to help me; and I remained there with the kings of Persia.

In Context | Full Chapter | Other Translations

 PAST POSTS [verses below]

I ‘rambled’ about a lot of stuff today- below are some past teachings I did that relate- [Verses below]

 https://ccoutreach87.com/n-j-nyc-2017/

http://corpuschristioutreachministries.blogspot.com/p/new-jersey-201516-i-made-these-videos.html

http://corpuschristioutreachministries.blogspot.com/p/protestant-reformation-luther-1766-lil_25.html

http://corpuschristioutreachministries.blogspot.com/p/western-intellectual-tradition-covering.html

https://ccoutreach87.com/overview-of-philosophy/

Okay- let’s try and transition a bit.

 In the last Philosophy post I hit on the 10th-14th century development of modern thought- today I want to jump into the 16th-18th centuries. Like I said in a previous post- after the Renaissance and the Reformation and the great scientific revolution- you had the world in somewhat of a tailspin.

  What I mean is for hundreds of years people trusted in the old institutions [like the Catholic Church] to tell them what was true or false- then with the development of all these modern movements people began questioning stuff.

 Was it good to question things? Sure. But some challenged the very foundations of thought and knowing [called Epistemology] and went a bit too far.

 Some thinkers went  back to the thought of Plato [400 years BC] and said that the mind is the main source of all knowledge- these were the 17th century Rationalists.

 Rationalism- as a philosophy- was an outgrowth of all the great strides that man was making in all these other areas of life. The Scientific Revolution totally challenged the age old beliefs of many in the church.

 Math became a sort of new ‘god’. How so? As science invented the Microscope and Telescope- man was able for the first time to peer deeply into the heavens- and to see deeply into the microscopic world.

 As the great minds [Copernicus] showed us that the Universe was different than what we thought [Heliocentric versus Geocentric] man was able to do mathematical calculations and to say that a specific planet or star [or Comet] would show up at an exact date- or spot- and Walla- it would happen [you could look thru the Telescope and sure enough the math was right- the object that was calculated to be there- was.]

 These calculations were mathematical formulas- so math began to be seen as the new religion in many ways.

 There are even some thinkers in the modern day that still say the only ‘real truth’ that exists is mathematical formulas. Yeah- one guy wrote an entire book on the subject- the problem? Well- his book was not written in math- but words.

 Yes- even the extreme deniers of Objective truth do make mistakes.

 Now- what’s wrong with rationalism? Of course being rational is okay- but the philosophy itself denied real Objective truth. Truth that corresponds to some other ‘outside’ reality.

 This form of thinking [rejecting outside reality] is called Relativism/Subjectivism. While there is some truth to all the various fields of thought- yet extreme Relativism denies ‘reality’ as most of us understand the term.  There was a strong resistance to the 17th century rationalists- we call this Philosophy Empiricism.

 The main thinker in this field was John Locke. Locke lived most of his life in the 17th century- but his thought laid the foundation for the 18th century Empiricist.

 This philosophy says that the mind does indeed play a major role in the knowledge of things- but this knowledge does not originate in the mind [Plato] but in the ‘thing’ itself [Aristotle- remember when we covered these men? Plato was an idealist- Ideas were more real than matter. Aristotle was a Realist- closer to the thought of Locke].

 Locke developed a theory called the Correspondence theory- that truth that the Mind discovers corresponds to real things that actually exist apart from the mind.

 Locke was a practicing doctor- and most of the other thinkers of the day had room to speculate about reality in a way that Locke could not.

 He lived in a real world with real patients who had real symptoms- in a nutshell Locke had to diagnose his patients based on his findings- he could not deny that there was a real problem- he had to have his ‘feet on the ground’ [based in reality] while engaging with his head up high.

 Okay- I think we’ll end with this. Maybe you can go back and read some of my previous posts on this subject- just to become a little more familiar with it.

 As Christians- we are not ‘required’ to know Philosophy- or current events- or science- but it helps us engage the culture when we do educate ourselves in these areas.

 Go slow in learning [not too slow!] and try and see how the Christian Worldview agrees with- or rejects certain aspects of these different felids of thought.

 Most Christians would reject Rationalism as a Philosophy- because it denies real objective truth- it says truth is relative- whatever the mind can conceive- or think- can be defined as truth [Unicorns?]

 Biblical truth is based on real historic events- 1st Corinthians chapter 15 says that if we deny the physical  resurrection of Christ- a real event- then our faith is in vain.

 Christians base their faith on a real historic event- not simply on a belief system.

  www.corpuschristioutreachministries.blogspot.com

[parts]

One of the first experiments with people saying ‘we will throw off the church and king’ was what we call the French Revolution.

 It took place right at the end of the 18th century- right before the Napoleonic wars.

 It was a Secular [non religious] effort to depose the rule of govt we call Monarchy [King and Queen] and it resulted in the Guillotine and beheading of many Catholic priests and leaders.

 It was truly a rebellion that got way out of hand.

 Yesterday- one of the current Repub candidates for president made headlines when he compared Obama’s recent ‘anti religious’ actions to the French Revolution.

 One commentator [CNN] said the rebels were all Catholics and that to say the revolution hurt the church was wrong.

 This man [Paul Begala] had no idea what he was saying- its sad that they say misinformed statements like this to such a wide audience.

 Some of our founding fathers were fans of John Locke [Jefferson] and our country drew up the founding documents during a time when these ideas were ripe and were seen as a new type of govt. for the people.

 Thus- we have our Democracy today- for which I am grateful- do indeed think it’s the best in the world today- but it is not inherently ‘more just’ than all other styles.

[parts]

2ND KINGS 8:7-29 Elisha goes to Damascus and the king of Syria hears about it, he sends his servant to inquire ‘of the prophet’ whether or not he will get well from some sickness. The servant goes and finds Elisha and Elisha says ‘yes, he would recover. But instead he will die’. What ? Elisha sees that the sickness would not be fatal, but that the king will be assassinated! The servant in front of him will be the killer. So Hazael goes back to the king and says ‘he said you would get well’ true enough, but he left out the part where he was going to kill him! So the next day he does the deed and becomes the king. A few things, I find it interesting that the Syrian king had no problem receiving Gods prophet. They believed in prophets! Now, they did not have a ‘Christian/Judeo’ culture, but they had a religious background that accepted ‘messengers from God’. In today’s world the church needs to take advantage of the willingness of other world religions to listen to prophets. We need to appeal as much as possible to the Muslim world and use any agreement on religious things as a tool to share the gospel. Right after the 16th century reformation the world would embark on a couple hundred year age of exploration and colonization. The Protestants were good at exploring the seas and impacting Europe, but they failed at reaching the Far East. Instead the Catholic Church had great success thru the Jesuits at impacting the Far East. They would make inroads into Japan and China and eventually take the gospel to the influential city of Peking. The problem arose when the Dominicans and Franciscans [Catholic orders] came in after them. They felt that the Jesuits were too accommodating in mixing in the religious beliefs of the east along with Christianity. Many Chinese believers were still practicing a form of worshipping dead ancestors and stuff like that. The Jesuits justified this by seeing these things as cultural beliefs and felt like allowing them to ‘keep their culture’ along with the faith was okay, the Dominicans and Franciscans disagreed and took the argument to Rome. Eventually this disagreement would leave a bad taste with the leaders in China and all Catholic expressions of the faith would be banned. This is called Syncretism, the mixing of religious beliefs. Now, why get into this? Christians should appeal to the willingness of Muslims and other world religions to hear religious voices. Both Jews and Muslims believe in Jesus, now they don’t believe the way Christians believe, but we should take advantage of this basic belief when appealing to them. Muslims reject the doctrine of the Trinity, but a careful study of history shows us that the actual Trinity they are rejecting is not the Christian understanding. Muhammad was actually rejecting a skewed view of the Trinity that saw Jesus and God and Mary as the Trinity. Obviously a pretty big  mistake. So we as believers should be willing to correct and give a word to the ‘Muslim messengers’ when they come looking for answers. We should give them credit where credit is due, like their development of apologetical arguments in the Middle Ages [the Kalaam cosmological argument] but at the same time present the uncompromising gospel of Jesus Christ to them. I side with the Franciscans and Dominicans on this one.

    The govt. we see in the bible is Monarchy [mostly- Rome was Imperial- did have a senate and all- but in no way was it a democracy like we think of].

 The point?

 When we try to help these countries- when people rise up and protest- we must not simply jump to the conclusion that all of these rebellions are seeking- or will end up like the U.S.

 We must not condemn all ‘monarchies’ as evil- the bible says there are just ones.

 Kings can rule justly- be fair- and do good.

 We should not assume that all ‘non western style democracies’ are evil- they are not.

 Most of these present uprisings are in countries where you have what’s called Autocratic rule- not full ‘kingdoms’ with kings in the way we think.

 Yes- I do think our experiment- based on the Enlightenment idea of govt. by and for the people is the best- but we must not assume all other types are inherently evil- nor should we be so quick to side- militarily will all rebels- like some already calling to arm the rebels in Syria.

 The end result of these protests are not secure at all- it is highly doubtful that any of them will become ‘little U.S. of A’s’.

 So we should call for non violence on all sides- we should stand on the side of innocent victims- be against all regimes that use military force on their people- but be realistic about the situation- violence [on all sides] is very rarely the answer- Sarkozy learned this lesson the hard way.

[parts]

2ND KINGS 8:7-29 Elisha goes to Damascus and the king of Syria hears about it, he sends his servant to inquire ‘of the prophet’ whether or not he will get well from some sickness. The servant goes and finds Elisha and Elisha says ‘yes, he would recover. But instead he will die’. What ? Elisha sees that the sickness would not be fatal, but that the king will be assassinated! The servant in front of him will be the killer. So Hazael goes back to the king and says ‘he said you would get well’ true enough, but he left out the part where he was going to kill him! So the next day he does the deed and becomes the king. A few things, I find it interesting that the Syrian king had no problem receiving Gods prophet. They believed in prophets! Now, they did not have a ‘Christian/Judeo’ culture, but they had a religious background that accepted ‘messengers from God’. In today’s world the church needs to take advantage of the willingness of other world religions to listen to prophets. We need to appeal as much as possible to the Muslim world and use any agreement on religious things as a tool to share the gospel. Right after the 16th century reformation the world would embark on a couple hundred year age of exploration and colonization. The Protestants were good at exploring the seas and impacting Europe, but they failed at reaching the Far East. Instead the Catholic Church had great success thru the Jesuits at impacting the Far East. They would make inroads into Japan and China and eventually take the gospel to the influential city of Peking. The problem arose when the Dominicans and Franciscans [Catholic orders] came in after them. They felt that the Jesuits were too accommodating in mixing in the religious beliefs of the east along with Christianity. Many Chinese believers were still practicing a form of worshipping dead ancestors and stuff like that. The Jesuits justified this by seeing these things as cultural beliefs and felt like allowing them to ‘keep their culture’ along with the faith was okay, the Dominicans and Franciscans disagreed and took the argument to Rome. Eventually this disagreement would leave a bad taste with the leaders in China and all Catholic expressions of the faith would be banned. This is called Syncretism, the mixing of religious beliefs. Now, why get into this? Christians should appeal to the willingness of Muslims and other world religions to hear religious voices. Both Jews and Muslims believe in Jesus, now they don’t believe the way Christians believe, but we should take advantage of this basic belief when appealing to them. Muslims reject the doctrine of the Trinity, but a careful study of history shows us that the actual Trinity they are rejecting is not the Christian understanding. Muhammad was actually rejecting a skewed view of the Trinity that saw Jesus and God and Mary as the Trinity. Obviously a pretty big  mistake. So we as believers should be willing to correct and give a word to the ‘Muslim messengers’ when they come looking for answers. We should give them credit where credit is due, like their development of apologetical arguments in the Middle Ages [the Kalaam cosmological argument] but at the same time present the uncompromising gospel of Jesus Christ to them. I side with the Franciscans and Dominicans on this one.

 www.corpuschristioutreachministries.blogspot.com

Note- Do me a favor, those who read/like the posts- re-post them on other sites as well as the site you read them on. Thanks- John

[parts]

 Nova story-

FOR WHERE A TESTAMENT IS- THERE MUST ASLO BE THE DEATH [or going away] OF THE TESTATOR- Hebrews.

  1st week of December -2013

 Well- I have been back in Texas for a couple of months now.

 Our little halfway house is doing good- the friend I started it with last year has had lots of physical problems and I thru myself into this ministry again.

 I also re-connected with the street crew- my original ‘gang’ from Texas.

 And this past week I also got back in touch with Cameron.

  I posted about Cameron right before I left Texas in 2013.

 He was a new kid at the halfway house- was on probation [10 years!] and tested dirty on a drug test.

 So- when I left Texas- he was back in jail.

 He was released [once again] to the halfway house- and I have been getting with him this past week.

 Took him to Bay Area Fellowship yesterday-might take him for a city cruise [like the apostle Paul said in the book of Acts ‘let’s go and visit all the cities we preached the gospel in’] today.

 Yeah- I need to take a ride to Kingsville- Bishop- and maybe even Rio Grande city.

 I met a new guy this week- Albert.

 He spent a week at our halfway house- and had some ministry background.

  Whenever we get a new guy- and he has some bible background- David [the guy I started the halfway house with] always wants me to meet him.

 I’m sort of the Pastor for the halfway house.

  So- I got with Albert on his last day with us [he only spent a week].

 He’s from Robstown [an area city that’s known for drug dealing].

 His wife has a church right on the border of Texas/Mexico.

 He asked me if I knew where Rio Grande City was.

  Heck- I spent 2-3 nights there about 10 years ago [a Firefighter school I went to].

 So- God willing- I might take a trip to the area.

  Albert worked as a missionary in this region years ago- it’s where his wife grew up.

 But even he told me it’s very dangerous now- the drug runners will kidnap/kill you in a second.

 So- do me a favor and pray for our safety- I do want to make the trip.

 2-

 Being I have not posted- or written any posts in 2 months- I want to give a brief update on the ‘North Bergen Crew’ [the street guys I befriended while in New Jersey].

 The guys keep in touch with me regularly.

 About 2 days ago Rick called [he’s the only one with a phone- or has my number [Nick too] - so the other guys ask how I’m doing and stuff- they were already asking when I’m coming back! Geez- not yet].

 He gave me an update on the area- Rick moved to Hoboken about a month ago- but he still hangs out at the White Castle in North Bergen.

 It’s funny- this spot became the meeting place for the crew- I used to eat at this restaurant when I was a kid.

 Of course they rebuilt the thing- but it’s still in the exact spot.

  Let me share one interesting story that happened the day before I left North Bergen.

 During my 3 month trip- and before- the year was a year of Signs [dreams- visions- etc.]

 Over the years I try not to talk too much about these experiences- because they are subjective- you never really know if the sign is ‘real’ or the person is simply wrong.

 So- as those of you who read the site know- I try to teach in line with Historic Christianity.

  Ok- when I ‘moved’ to North Bergen [the town I was raised in right across the Hudson River from New York City] I seriously thought I might move back for good.

 The first 2 months back- I checked into housing- asked about the rents and all- and left the door open to stay.

 In Texas I gave away/sold lots of my stuff.

 I got rid of both my vehicles- and did the ‘sell what you have and come follow me’ thing.

 As I sit here writing- I’m in an empty study- that used to be filled with my books.

 I acquired- literally- thousands of dollars in books over the years.

 I gave the majority of them away- to a church- before I left.

  So yeah- I did leave the option open that I was leaving for good.

  As time went on- I realized I will go back every year- for around 3 weeks [by the way- this year- 2014- my goal is to start some home bible studies- if anyone in the North Bergen/NYC area is interested- text me at 361-461-0588. My email never gets checked- so the best way is to message me].

  Ok- because the rents were high- I wound up staying at my old house where I grew up as a kid.

 My mom and sister still lived there.

 I led my sister to the Lord many years ago- and she always viewed me as sort of her spiritual mentor.

 When I told her I will be moving back to New Jersey- she was so happy!

 The week before I flew back- she died.

 So- for a few weeks I lived in her old downstairs apt- surrounded by all her little trinkets and stuff- and I would wake up early [around 3 or 4] and pray for about an hour or so in the yard.

 Her cats [just like mine in Texas] knew what time I would be walking and praying- and they would wait for me in the yard- they love being petted when I do this. I pray with a stick in my hand- sort of a staff- and as they walk next to me I pet them. In Texas they follow me on the roof- it’s low- so I pet them right on the roof- they get so into it a few times they fell off trying to get noticed!]

 There was a very real sense that the death of my sister would play a redemptive role in this whole journey.

 It would take too much time to teach this now- but I felt she made a very real sacrifice as well as me- for the spiritual benefit of the town we grew up in.

 When my friends die- I sort of include them in my payer time- not praying ‘to them’ but in a way ‘gathering’ all their prayers- and concerns- into one prayer community.

 [Someday I will teach this entire theme from scripture- in Acts chapter10 it says the prayers of Cornelius came up as a ‘memorial before God’. In the book of Revelation we read about an Angel [messenger] casting a censor into the earth- and it was filled with the collected prayers of the people. These images speak of the spiritual reality of ‘collecting’ the prayers of others as you pray. Protestants are not very aware of this principle- Catholics are].

 So- as you can imagine- the actual death of my sister- and me living in her apt. and driving her car [my mom gave me my sisters car- that is the car I’m driving right now in Texas- remember- I sold both my vehicles] were all giving me a real sense of the ‘partnership’ I had with my sister as we both were back in our old town- for the sake of the Kingdom of God.

 So- one morning while I was going downstairs to the yard [I walked down thru an upstairs hallway- thru the old garage [which is now a finished apt.] where I kept many a dirt bike [and go cart!] back in the day- and down the alley into the yard.

 This morning I had a sense of ‘what would you do if you saw your sister’.

 It was eerie!

 In the bible- there are just a few cases of ‘seeing dead people’ [not talking Bruce Willis and the 6th sense either].

 One of the most famous is the story of the prophet Samuel during the time of King Saul.

 In a scripture that’s been debated a lot- we read about a sort of soothsayer [Palm Reader type person] who brings back the dead prophet Samuel to appear to King Saul.

 Obviously this can be used in many strange ways- some question the authenticity of whether the lady brought Samuel back.

 As you read the account [off hand I forget the actual verse] it seems to say that she did indeed bring a dead guy back- not a raising from the dead- but an appearance of the soul/spirit of Samuel.

 So- though I wouldn’t build a doctrine on the thing- yet stuff like this can happen.

 Ok.

 After I had this experience- of sort of sensing ‘what if you see Laura- who died’.

 I got a chill- but simply prepared myself for some type of sign- which has happened a lot this year.

  But nothing happened- yet.

 So- one day my mom [whose house I was staying at] said ‘ok John- today before you run out [yeah- I got up early- and would take off most of the day- either walking New York City- or North Bergen- Union City- etc.- I wanted to run into as many street guys as possible before I left] I have a job for you and Patrick to do.

  Patrick was a good friend of mine for many years- used to date my sister- and in a way I used to see him as the street friends I have made over the years.

 He is a recovering addict- and we went to a lot of the NA meetings together.

 So- Pat lives at my mom’s house- uses a spare bedroom- and I see him like a brother.

  But- my mom would ask us to both do some type of job together- fix the fence- move some furniture- whatever.

 And I realized it would be better for her to just give me the job- everyone else go out- and I’ll do it alone [you know-the micro manager type thing was a problem].

 Not to be mean- but trust me- it worked better that way.

 So a few days before I left- she asked ‘ok- you and Patrick need to paint 2 walls in the living room today [today? It will take me less than an hour- I used to paint houses for a living].

 So- Pat bought all those little paint devices you see on TV- you know- the stuff the pro’s NEVER USE [Edger’s- sponge type brushes- Tape for the edges- EEK!]

 I told mom ‘Please- just get me one good paint brush- a roller and paint- I don’t need all of these other things- including the tape to ‘tape the corners’.

 Not to be mean- but the best way to do this is to simply ‘cut’ the area with a brush.

 Over the years you learn to use the paint brush without going over the edge.

 Anyway- she had some cheap little brush- and the roller and paint.

 What the heck- I told her ‘please- you and Pat go in the other room- I’ll be done in around 30 minutes’.

  I was- moved the furniture- laid a drop cloth- rolled and cut- under an hour- done.

  Ok- my mom had just printed new pictures of my sister- and the night before I left I hung them up on this freshly painted wall.

  So- as mom’s go- she wanted to buy me stuff for the road trip back to Texas.

 She bought me this nice little road light [as a side note- 2 nights ago I started our first home church- this year I want to start a few of them- Texas- New Jersey- Switzerland. There were 2 little 5 year old girls- real sweethearts- they were the kids of some of our new team of young leaders that I’m enlisting for this new mission- they somehow got a hold of this light- and they were having so much fun running thru the house- in the yard- flashing this light].

 You know- if you get a flat the thing blinks and all- roadside emergency type light.

  As we are sitting in the living room- I am opening up the package- trying to get the car packed before the morning [I left just a few hours after this].

 And my mom walks into the living room and sees me with the light- and the batteries still in the package- unopened.

 She says ‘Oh- the light works real nice- but how did you get it to work without the batteries’.

 I said ‘what do you mean- it’s not on’.

 She looked puzzled- she is standing in front of the wall with my sisters new pictures- and she says ‘John- your light is flashing- I’m looking at Laura’s picture- don’t you see it flashing’.

 Ok- I knew this was the ‘sign’ I sensed a few nights earlier- a sort of Open Vision- where you see something while awake.

 Now- as I convinced her the light was not on- she began to panic- she kept asking ‘don’t you see it flashing John- it’s so bright!

 I sat her down and walked her through it.

 I told her ‘mom- I don’t see it flashing- but if you do- I believe you’.

 I told her it’s possible that Laura- in a way- is saying ‘John- I really was part of this whole adventure you just had- I’m up here- with your other friends who have died- the ones you ‘have gathered’ as a communion of Saints- I’m saying goodbye on your last night in North Bergen- OH- thanks for petting my cats’.

 Now- I simply tried to explain to my mom that I felt God had told me a few days before that I would indeed see some type of sign from my sister.

 Surely this must have been it.

 [By the way- thanks for the car Laura- it’s truly the best running car I ever had. It drove back to Texas great- everyone compliments me on it].

  NOTE- One of the bible verses that was impressed on my mind this year was from the book of James ‘Every good and perfect gift comes from above- from the FATHER OF LIGHTS’. If you remember- this year I posted about seeing a Supernova one morning while up praying in the yard- and later that day there was the most viewed meteor ever- it took place in Russia.

 These of course were LIGHTS- the above sign from my sister was a blinking light.

 And right after I got back to Texas I was walking home from the local street mission where I meet the homeless crew.

 As I walked under the highway overpass- I saw a homeless guy- who I never met before.

 He caught my attention because he had this paint brush hanging from his belt- and it was actually the one I needed when I painted the wall in New Jersey [the one where my mom saw the picture flashing].

 I walked up to the brother and hung out with him for about 30 minutes- right there off the street.

 In about 5 minutes we were talking like we knew each other for years.

 That’s the way the street guys live.

  He told me after a few minutes-

 ‘We can tell when someone’s for real- that he really cares for the homeless’

 He was simply saying he knew I wasn’t a fake.

 As I talked with him- he told me his name was Orville and he’s been around for years.

 I asked him if he knew ‘so and so….’

 I usually rack up a bunch of names so the guys know I’m not making stuff up- that I have been around a while.

 He knew the names I mentioned.

 He told me he also sings gospel songs- and he wrote one.

 Sure enough- he started singing- pretty good- right there.

 Geez- like angels songs!

  I asked him if he needed a few dollars.

 He said ‘sure’.

 And as has happened before- I open my wallet and I only have a five- no big deal- he got the 5.

 He tells me ‘wait- I have a gift for you’.

 Huh?

 For me?

  Right before I left North Bergen- I picked up a few things I thought I might need.

 One was the little flashlight things that you hang on a key chain.

 Every so often- you need a light to see where your stuff is when you’re parked on the side of the road- sleeping at the rest stops [I drove back and slept in the car overnight].

 Sometimes when I need something- I try and wait a day or so before I buy it.

 Because I either find I have an extra one laying around- or someone gives me one.

 But- I bought a little Mag light- but it’s not too bright.

 So- as I’m talking to this strange homeless brother- with ‘my’ paint brush on his belt.

 He reaches under his shirt and pulls out a chain he has around his neck.

 And he pulls off of the chain- you guessed it- one of the little lights I needed.

 Man- the things is about 10 times brighter than the one I bought.

 Cool!

 I take the gift- which was sort of strange- the street guys usually don’t give out gifts.

 I finish our talk- and off I went.

 The next few days I ask the local street crew ‘Hey- I met some guy named Orville- he said he knew you- do you know the guy’.

 One by one- no one knew him.

 Ok- in the book of Hebrews it says ‘be careful to help strangers- because some have helped angels and they didn’t even know it’.

 After my buddies did not know the guy- I went home later in the day and double checked if that light was for real- still in my drawer.

 Sure is- bright as a little Nova.

 I don’t know if Orville- the drunk gospel singer- was an angel or not.

 But this year one of the verses was ‘FATHER OF LIGHTS’.

 Felt it was cool either way.

   VERSES- [here are just a few examples of God- angels coming to people in dreams]

 Genesis 20:3

But God came to Abimelech in a dream by night, and said to him, Behold, thou art but a dead man, for the woman which thou hast taken; for she is a man's wife.

In Context | Full Chapter | Other Translations

Genesis 20:6

And God said unto him in a dream, Yea, I know that thou didst this in the integrity of thy heart; for I also withheld thee from sinning against me: therefore suffered I thee not to touch her.

In Context | Full Chapter | Other Translations

Genesis 31:10

And it came to pass at the time that the cattle conceived, that I lifted up mine eyes, and saw in adream, and, behold, the rams which leaped upon the cattle were ringstraked, speckled, and grisled.

In Context | Full Chapter | Other Translations

Genesis 31:11

And the angel of God spake unto me in a dream, saying, Jacob: And I said, Here am I.

In Context | Full Chapter | Other Translations

Genesis 31:24

And God came to Laban the Syrian in a dream by night, and said unto him, Take heed that thou speak not to Jacob either good or bad.

In Context | Full Chapter | Other Translations

1 Kings 3:5

In Gibeon the Lord appeared to Solomon in a dream by night: and God said, Ask what I shall give thee.

In Context | Full Chapter | Other Translations

Matthew 1:20

But while he thought on these things, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared unto him in a dream, saying, Joseph, thou son of David, fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife: for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost.

In Context | Full Chapter | Other Translations

Matthew 2:12

And being warned of God in a dream that they should not return to Herod, they departed into their own country another way.

In Context | Full Chapter | Other Translations

Matthew 2:13

And when they were departed, behold, the angel of the Lord appeareth to Joseph in a dream, saying, Arise, and take the young child and his mother, and flee into Egypt, and be thou there until I bring thee word: for Herod will seek the young child to destroy him.

In Context | Full Chapter | Other Translations

Matthew 2:19

But when Herod was dead, behold, an angel of the Lord appeareth in a dream to Joseph in Egypt,

In Context | Full Chapter | Other Translations

Matthew 2:22

But when he heard that Archelaus did reign in Judaea in the room of his father Herod, he was afraid to go thither: notwithstanding, being warned of God in adream, he turned aside into the parts of Galilee:

In Context | Full Chapter | Other Translations

Matthew 27:19

When he was set down on the judgment seat, his wife sent unto him, saying, Have thou nothing to do with that just man: for I have suffered many things this day in a dream because of him.

In Context | Full Chapter | Other Translations

 Michael the archangel verses-

Daniel 10:13

But the prince of the kingdom of Persia withstood me one and twenty days: but, lo, Michael, one of the chief princes, came to help me; and I remained there with the kings of Persia.

In Context | Full Chapter | Other Translations

Daniel 10:21

But I will shew thee that which is noted in the scripture of truth: and there is none that holdeth with me in these things, but Michael your prince.

In Context | Full Chapter | Other Translations

Daniel 12:1

And at that time shall Michael stand up, the great prince which standeth for the children of thy people: and there shall be a time of trouble, such as never was since there was a nation even to that same time: and at that time thy people shall be delivered, every one that shall be found written in the book.

In Context | Full Chapter | Other Translations

Jude 1:9

Yet Michael the archangel, when contending with the devil he disputed about the body of Moses, durst not bring against him a railing accusation, but said, The Lord rebuke thee.

In Context | Full Chapter | Other Translations

Revelation 12:7

And there was war in heaven: Michael and his angels fought against the dragon; and the dragon fought and his angels,

In Context | Full Chapter | Other Translations

 More verses I quoted-

 10 Then saith Pilate unto him, Speakest thou not unto me? knowest thou not that I have power to crucify thee, and have power to release thee?

11 Jesus answered, Thou couldest have no power at all against me, except it were given thee from above: therefore he that delivered me unto thee hath the greater sin.

Proverbs 12:19

The lip of truth shall be established for ever: but a lying tongue is but for a moment.

In Context | Full Chapter | Other Translations

1 Peter 1:25

But the word of the Lord endureth for ever. And this is the word which by the gospel is preached unto you.

In Context | Full Chapter | Other Translations

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[notesofarichlycolorednight]

You clearly hate pretty much every aspect about this show--which is totally in your right--but then why are you still watching it? Even more so, why are you taking the time to post about it? If I stop watching a show I'm not gonna spend hours of my time watching and writing about it, I'm just gonna find another show I find better. Like what is the point of mocking it amidst fans when they're just trying to enjoy something they only get once every two years? How is that gratifying?

this might come as a shock to you, but i actually really love sherlock. i mean it’s definitely more complicated than just that. there are a lot hard-to-put-into-words emotions that i associated with sherlock.

though the writing of the first two seasons wasn’t the greatest, they were much better than the writing for the 3rd and 4th seasons. which is one of my issues. the writing has gotten worse. they’ve moved away from “the monster-of-the-week” format–like spn–and are also tanking pretty hard, like spn had. they’ve made the mistake of trying to make things too dark, too edgy, too extra and the plot and writing suffers for it.

like, i don’t mind if they want to move away from “monster-of-the-week,” but you don’t have to make the show darker, or whatever, to keep viewers interested. i get enough of it in my real life. and, usually, i go to fictional shows and books to get away from that.

anyway, sherlock is a very important part of my life. it’s hard to explain why, and even though i’ve come to severely dislike the writing, i still watch it because of the fact that it is an important part of my life. it’s become a safety blanket of sorts. i binge watched all two season when i first got to college. and i binge watched all three seasons + the special when i started my senior year of college. because it’s something i know, something safe for me. so even though i know that i’m probably not going to enjoy the new eps, i still watch it bc of how important it is to me. to be honest, i’m still excited to see what the writer’s have come up with (even though it’s not at all satisfying anymore).

but who ever said emotions had to make sense? or be mutually exclusive?

now, whether believe me or not, that doesn’t mean that i can’t offer up constructive criticism of it. if you love something, that doesn’t mean you can’t point out issues and problems it has. those two things aren’t mutually exclusive. in fact, it should be, that if you love something so much, you should make it your duty to point out these problems. to make it better and more enjoyable for everyone who watches it.

and, as i’ve said a few time before, my liveblogging is very informal, it’s supposed to be sarcastic and “whiny”–for the lack of a better word. essentially, i’m riffing it. so, yeah, it’s gonna be impolite and may come off as rude. but, when the time comes, i will explain in detail, with full sentences and civility why i think what i think.

honestly, i hadn’t been planning on completely liveblogging it. i made a singular post, thought that was going to be it, and then as the episode continued, i was just not having it. so i decided to share. bc i think i’m hilarious. partly it’s due to the fact that steven moffat wrote tld. i honestly don’t think his writing is great, putting it mildly. (now, i didn’t enjoy t6t, but it was better than tld, that’s for sure.) and the more the episode continued, the more problems i had with it.

as for your question about why i would even spend my time (see also (as some might say): waste my time) liveblogging about it–bc we’ve already been over why i continue it…mostly–i find it fun?

in a different post, responding to a different person here on tumblr, i told them that part of my liveblogging consists of a hybrid of cinemasins and mystery science theater 3000. so i find it fun to make sarcastic remarks, point out tiny mistakes that no one else may notice or just not care about, etc.

the other big part of it, is that i’m tired of being silent about the criticisms i have (not the sarcastic remarks) about the shows i watch.

part of my liveblogs consist of legitimate criticisms aimed at the show and writers. and, i’ve said this before, i’ll say it again, they could be worded better, i admit that. but i don’t have the time or energy to write out essays for every single criticism i come across (unless of course, i am asked to, or am prompted to).

sherlock is a huge fucking show. it’s so popular around the world, and millions of people watch and get others to watch the show. which is why it’s important to point out the problems it has, because people can and will take shows’ words as gospel.

if someone in a show does something and they aren’t reprimanded for it, a lot more people than you’d think, will take it as a sign that they, too, can do that thing without consequences.

when it comes to throwing around the word psychopath or sociopath, demonizing autistic people, or idealizing a–frankly–abusive relationship that’s not okay. and people need to be told this, because the show ain’t doing it.

media, in general, relies way too heavily on stereotypes and stigma and misinformation disguised as caring or want or romance (to name a few). this becomes a huge problem when people who watch the show start applying these stereotypes and stigma to the people they meet, or seeing these behaviors and thinking they’re okay.

this can also lead to prejudice, discrimination, and racism toward these groups (mainly minority groups–poc, lgbtqia+ members, disabled people, mentally ill people, autistic people, and so on), as well as not being aware they’re in an abusive, toxic relationship or that they’re being the abuser and are causing the toxicity of the relationship.

if we don’t point out the flaws and problems, media isn’t going to learn or grow, and it will only continue to strengthen the divide between “us” and “them,” and strengthen the stigma that follows a lot of mentally ill individuals, disable individuals, and autistic individuals. (i list these twice, bc this last episode had a lot of issues with, specially, autistic individuals. which i will go into more detail about in a diff post, bc a diff anon has already brought this up.)

i wouldn’t call my riff posts mocking, but i can create a tag that ppl can blacklist. i will not, however, use the tag when i’m making a genuine criticism. people need to be more aware and educated.