#this is really all over the place sorry

[collophora]

Do yourself a favor and go read the entire fanfic work of @fanfoolishness

(In order: Under sun and shade, Blind Side, and Breathless (patching up is one of my fav too, I just had no cool sketch idea for it)

[mugwot]

funnyjokespunperson

[numbuh424]

The unstoppable, mighty hurricane and the immovable, cold, hard truth.

[featheredadora]

[iamacolor]

Casual touches between Sol and Sunjae 💛

LOVELY RUNNER - EPISODE 16

[jimimn]

vmon ♡ for @namchyoon ♡ (cr. namuspromised, qdeoks, ssujamss, transl. ryuminating)

[lazylittledragon]

i keep trying to think of funny/poetic ways to talk about all the things i'm feeling right now but i honestly can't so. i'm really sad about what happened with my partner. i know he was an inconsiderate prick about it and that i didn't do anything wrong and i couldn't have prevented it but i'm just really fucking sad.

[thatgoddamngingerundercut]

I guarantee that girl is still riding this high

[chickensauras]

Ok listen. I just have *some thoughts*. Thoughts I can't articulate. So I drew this instead :U

Ref image is from ch. 6

[legend-of-cupcake]

Tsukasa works FOR Sakura

Now this is very likely me just being slow and not connecting the dots until now, but chapter 109 has made me realise that Tsukasa is not the one in charge of the "destroy all yorishiros" plan... It's Sakura.

It's this line here that's made me finally see the light, Tsukasa has to "help Sakura, by destroying the yorishiro." He is not actively desiring the yorishiro to be destroyed, he's just doing his part in the plan. In chapter 106, he wasn't even phased that Nene didn't want to destroy the yorishiro and the only reason he persisted was because it was "his job."

Even way back in chapter 93, Sumire describes Sakura as the one No. 6 serves. Sakura gave him the job of destroying his own yorishiro, not Tsukasa.

Sakura is the one who wants the yorishiros destroyed, she's been trapped inside the school for 100 years and is tired of it. She wants to leave whatever duty is keeping her bound

And she is more than willing to make sacrifices to make her wish come true

Sakura is behind everything, she is the reason that Tsukasa was freed from where he was trapped (very likely Hanako's boundary).

She is also the one altering the rumours.

Tsukasa, as cunning and intelligent as he may be, is probably a bit too impulsive to be the brains behind the entire operation. His intense curiosity for things would likely get in the way, no matter how well he means or how serious he's being.

And again, it's clear Tsukasa is not as invested in destroying the yorishiros as we are initially led to believe. Again, he really doesn't mind that Nene no longer wants to destroy yorishiros anymore

In fact, it's Natsuhiko who worries Nene won't destroy them. Keep in mind Natsuhiko is 100% loyal to Sakura and not necessarily to Tsukasa. If this was Tsukasa's plan, I doubt he would be worrying over whether Nene will keep doing her part as the kannagi

The only reason we even initially thought this was all Tsukasa's doing, was because Sakura painted a picture that she was in a similar situation to Nene.

Sakura gives the impression that she can't go against Tsukasa, that he is her master. But that can't be right, because we know Sakura was the one who appointed the 7 mysteries in the first place. And she was also the one who freed Tsukasa, so how could he be the "master" in this relationship?

I think, Sakura said all this to gain Nene's trust.

Nene, being the modern kannagi, is absolutely vital in the plan to destroy the yorishiros. So having her trust Sakura would help out immensely.

So overall, whether it's the price he's paying for having been freed-- or for some other reason entirely-- it's quite clear to me now that Tsukasa is not the one in charge of the "destroy the 7 mysteries" plan. He's absolutely a major key player, with his cunning and curious mind clearly being an advantage (figured out the fastest and easiest route to stopping time so he could access the clock-keeper's boundary with Nene). But he is doing all of this to help Sakura, it's not for himself.

[mikimeiko]

The Expanse | Season 5 (2020-21), Mark Fergus and Hawk Ostby

[daily-xisuma]

[047] Applied my version of Doom's partial invisibility fuzz effect and an accidental offshoot I created in the process, heehee :-)

[woah-uhuh-uhuh-uhuh]

BOSS FIGHT!

[rattkachuk]

Hello! Hope you are having a good day.

So I have a question for you, just ignore when you don't feel like answering.

I came to Mattdrai via the enemies/rivals to lovers tag and then got sucked into hockey. I really like the fanon take on Leon, fav character, fanon Matthew was fine but way too woobified and infantilized in so many fics. So my surprise when I started to watch games, interviews etc. Public Matthew is so confident, so loving, awesome family to back him up, especially Brady, hot as hell, sexy way of playing hockey, amazing public persona. Loved and respected by his team, beyond hockey.

Then Leon. His only trait seems to be that he's pissy which I can appreciate but it seems that he's just a downright mean, arrogant guy with a superiority complex (see that interview when he puts Silovs down.) I don't find him stoic at all but he's just seems boring and bland and yeah, pissy. It doesn't seem like he has fun or likes his team a lot or is liked by them (Connor aside and his skills aside.) His friendship with Connor seems the only endearing or likeable thing. He even looks good in a bland way and his hockey is while it's so skillful it's not hot and also I wonder why his dirty plays aren't called out more often.

So what do I miss? Where does great fanon Leon come from? Why is he written mostly so superior to Matthew and where comes the "his team likes Leon so much but Matthew is an outcast in his own team come from?) It's so far from what I gather from old and new interviews or games and I have watched a lot, also German interviews. I really would like to like Leon, shipping them had been more fun when I didn't find his public self so jarring. What do I not see what everyone else seems to get?

Sorry for the long ask! Have a great day and thank you

first off thank you for such a thought out ask! i don't get to dive into things like this a lot outside of writing fic and it got my brain gears going.

to get right into the bulk of this ask: i get what you are saying about leon. that can be the way he comes off for sure, and look everything i'm gonna say? i'm talking out of my ass here. i don't claim to know anything about him as a person besides what's publicly presented, and i don't have much right to theorize about why he is the way that he is, but i'd be lying if i said i didn't think about it. how would i write rpf otherwise, right 💀

i think he cares a lot. and i think sometimes he gets so wrapped up in things, how things should be, how he should be performing, etc, and when it doesn't go a certain way he gets frustrated and snarky (eg, pissy comments and such). but i don't see that being bad necessarily, especially when it's seems to come from such a team oriented state of mind. which, i dont think he dislikes his team at all? i think if anything, he has a sort of blind faith in his team, and that's the only context i could see a 'superiority complex' making sense in. and yah maybe a little misplaced at times, but ultimately i think it comes from believing so fully in his team and not seeing that come to fruition. he really does not seem to care about his individual performance much at all, so how self obsessed can he be? when i think about leon i just see someone that is ultimately very passionate and committed to the game he plays. i'm also curious to know where you get the vibe that his team doesn't like him? simply because i never got that impression from any of the other oilers, they all seem like they're obsessed with him.

beyond hockey, i see a caring, sweet, kindhearted individual. anytime i see a picture or vid of him interacting with bowie, or even the things his girlfriend posts about him, the comments he leaves for people on ig, and yah of course in the way he talks/acts around connor, i see fragments of someone soooo different than the little two minute post game interviews (which, can we judge any hockey player on those? i think they all hate them dfkjgsd). it's not always something i actively go digging for or have examples of the top of my head, but i do see it, and it definitely goes into creating the version of leon that i have in my mind.

hey, and, he's a silly guy!!! please, i know the reputation is pissy and humourless, ESPECIALLY in fic, but that man is so funny. so many random offhanded comments that make me pause and then laugh. a different sense of humour but it's so there. i love the sandcastle vid from the asg last year and feel like it's a good example of that, all sunburnt and happy. also hey, big man in tune with his fear of the ocean? love that. that little vid of him dancing on the ice earlier this season, those halloween photos where he's dressed as a monkey, every time he talks to a kid. hell, seeing him in warmups and watching the way he takes time to interact fans?? loveee watching warmups but i'd never had a player actually acknowledge my existence before leon!

also i really enjoy his personality on the ice, i like the rat behaviour and the sassy comments that he makes to other players/refs, i like the bitch moves, and i like his hockey too. i think his game is dependable and like you said skillful, and while maybe not the most creative, the sureness and the technical aspect it is hot to me. so my thoughts on everything are probably skewed in that regard.

anyways this was just a whole lot of rambling about why i find him interesting, endearing even, but i understand the perception you have. i don't like some players that other people love, just cause i cant see what they see. and honestly that's sometimes just the way it is! if you don't like leon, maybe u just don't like him and thats fine.

disclaimer that i have only been on hockeyblr for a couple years, and really didn't spare many thoughts for leon til the beginning of the 22/23 season. truthfully i'm hardly the person to ask about leon imo, but of course i have thoughts anyways! if someone else with more knowledge reads my bit of rambling here, please feel free to chime in and add your voice to this!

and side note, ofc, i have to touch on this bc who would i be if i'm not one to talk about matthew; in the way of m.tkachuk, i think that in the early days of mattdrai it was maybe a fair take away during his time with the flames (minus the woobifying). even though he was loved so much here and had some fucking times, and i think the team was mostly good to him (player wise if not regarding management, that is), i see such a stark difference now that he's on the panthers. he seems much happier and more confident, and obviously he's clicking with the cats on another level, and i do see a shift in how he's been portrayed in fics since tbh.

[kimbapisnotsushi]

i was feeling shiratorizawa + semiten and kawashira hcs so y'all know the drill LET'S GO

goshiki has 100% forgotten that he sleeps in a bottom bunk bed and consequently has shot up awake at the sound of his alarm only to bang his head on the underside of the top bunk bed

or the ceiling if he has the top bunk it's the same either way

also for some random reason i really enjoy thinking about semi and peach green tea. idk he feels like such a peach green tea person

fun fact when i first got into hq i made a list in my notes app where i could keep track of what i thought EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER (organized by team) would order at a boba shop/cafe so i could reference it for fics. i just looked at it for the first time in years. i apparently put down strawberry black tea for semi which still remains a pretty good choice i think

you know what. semi can be a strawberry black tea AND a peach green tea person. he goes for peach green tea when he feels like straying from his usual strawberry black tea. there i fixed the problem we're back on track

tendou uses the excuse of going on boba runs for the team to get alone time with semi. he'll be like "haha i can't get ALL the drinks by myself!! eita come with me :3" and semi just sighs but is honestly secretly really pleased that tendou would choose him out of everyone to run errands with

the greatest love language of all: running errands together

i actually think that, all things considered, semi was probably a little bit insecure and a little bit shy when it came to performing

like yeah he doesn't mind BEING in the spotlight. but he had to work on thinking he was good enough for it at first if that makes sense??? and i think being benched for shirabu probably exacerbates that

he's not used to showing other people his songs and his music!!! he's not used to being vulnerable!! he's not used to believing that he's skilled!!! because obviously that didn't work out in volleyball!! what if semi isn't actually as good at music as he thought himself to be?

tendou of course is determined to make him throw all these thoughts out the window

furudate please give us the secret cultural festival arc where semi gets a chance to shine because of his musical talents . . .

actually since shiratorizawa is a bunch of rich kids i wonder if yamagata has a smartphone bc i just think that'd make him constantly losing it 100x funnier

yamagata: "can everyone shut the fuck up for like five minutes i lost my phone and need help listening for the vibrations"

honestly why do i feel like half the times yamagata has "lost" his phone was really just tendou messing with him

like he's in the foreground running around looking for it while tendou is in the background snapping selfies with it or whatever

reon, ushijima, and yamagata like to go jogging together early in the morning. semi tried it once and then promptly decided never again

i actually think soft quiet early mornings are reon's favorite time of day!! he gets some peace to himself and he gets to see the sunrise bleed into the sky and he gets that crisp sweet air of fresh dew in the dawn and it's so so comforting to him

god i don't know how he does it i could never be that much of a morning person

however this does also mean reon goes to bed at like nine pm at the latest which tendou is personally offended by

reon the early bird riser who probably does yoga or some shit before meeting ushijima and yamagata vs tendou the night owl who stays up til three reading manga in the dark

genuinely how is tendou functioning at practice he probably stays up til three like four out of seven days of the week

(sorry i know i'm dunking on tendou a lot i'll stop now)

kawanishi will never admit it but he is so incredibly fond of the height difference between him and shirabu

it allows shirabu to fit his head perfectly in the crook of kawanishi's neck during bus rides and such and it makes kawanishi's heart flutter every time

but also kawanishi is MISERABLE during spring because shirabu can't comfortably do that when kawanishi is prone to sneezing like every five minutes

shirabu, teacher's pet that he is, is really good friends with the school librarian

oh my god . . . kawashira blue sky complex au . . . i would actually cry . . .

okay anyways shirabu kenjirou is really good friends with the school librarian and that's how he finds out that the school librarian used to know ushijima's dad

wouldn't that be crazy tho????? i'm thinking it was either the same librarian that utsui had or it was a close friend of utsui's who became the school librarian after they graduated and stuff. i'm kind of leaning towards the second one bc i feel like that makes more sense

i just. can you imagine how alone ushijima had to feel. can you imagine how suffocating it had to be. like there's plenty of reason to assume that his mom's side (and perhaps the mom herself) ended up disliking utsui and i wouldn't be surprised if they tried to scrub him out of ushijima's life

new idea guys utsui comes back and gets with the shiratorizawa librarian

i'm KIDDING

(mostly)

honestly i just think this scenario would really show off how much shirabu and ushijima mean to each other because i think that gets underestimated a lot

they trust each other!!! they respect each other!!!! they understand each other!!! ushijima who knows that he is to be used for his pure raw strength and that that's all shirabu wants to do for him and shirabu who wants to bring out the best in ushijima and thinks of himself as someone who serves ushijima!!!!! shirabu and ushijima who both think they're being used by the other but they don't care because that works best for them!!!! it's their way of showing respect!!! by handing the reigns over!!!!

okay that's a really serious oversimplification of what i'm actually thinking but i got like five hours of sleep and i'm running on two mugs of some strong ass lotus green tea i trust you guys y'all get what i mean

like idk i think ushijima wouldn't really know what to do with shirabu when they first meet in their second and first years. quiet upperclassman who is occasionally a jerk but mostly does not mean to be and his equally quiet underclassman who IS a jerk and DOES mean to be. they'd be so fucking funny together. they back each other up in ways they don't even realize. they could leave entire crowds in tears on accident

actually . . . the poor third years back then who had to deal with this first year they thought was quiet and composed and unassuming and totally chill. but was, in fact, completely unchill

shirabu's gone to bat for every single member of the team at some point btw. soekawa ushijima reon yamagata semi tendou etc etc. none of them have ever witnessed it though word just gets passed around to them like shirabu is some honor-defending ninja who only works in the shadows

and then it really surprises shirabu when they come to bat for HIM

i mean i just. i think shirabu is really used to being independent. is used to doing things by himself. he's not used to other people sticking up for him or other people trying to guide him (which could be another reason why he clashes with semi). it's not that he thinks he's perfect but like. he's never had people who wanted to do that for him before!!

but now he's got goshiki who WANTS compliments from him and he's got kawanishi who loves him for whatever reason and he's got the upperclassmen who ruffle his hair and swing an arm around his shoulders and tell him ot text when he needs help and he's just like ???? like a system error.

give it up for shirabu kenjirou everyone i love him

[lover-of-mine]

Have you done a color/structure(?) analysis of Buck's coming out to Eddie scene? If you haven't, could you? I just love your other ones, and that one has been niggling at me, but I don't know if there's anything there.

Okay, this took me longer than I expected because I had a weird weekend but let's do it now oaksoaksasas

The first major thing about the scene is that it is a blue and yellow scene (I have a theory about the blue and yellow you can read here) because they are playing with the sun around Buck and Eddie a lot this season, the locker room, the basketball scene, the coming out scene, that new locker room still Tim shared, even the buckley diaz family scene in 707 so that's important no matter what they are actually trying to accomplish there, if it's a reference to the way Oliver keeps saying Buck is looking for light or if queer romance has its own color combo, it's a thing and I think that the way they keep adding blue and gold/yellow to buddie scenes this season means they are absolutely doing something with it, even more considering the will reveal is very explicitly blue and yellow and we all know that scene is a key scene for the 2 of them in terms of romance.

But like, even the labels of the beers they are drinking are blue with yellow detailing, so pretty much every aspect of the scene is in that color scheme. The beer is also interesting because of the beer they usually drink being yellow and that they focused a lot on last season, going as far as making a point of showing a scene where Eddie is turning the bottle so we can see the label in 613.

Two things that feel inconsequential but are almost definitely absolutely completely on purpose in the scene are the way the shade of blue Buck is wearing is the same shade as his eyes and the way Eddie's phone has a black phone case the phone itself is green.

So not only are we dealing with the blue and yellow they are establishing, but we also have blue and green aspects going on here, tho arguably very muted. (blue and green masterpost) but this is just a detail I wanted to point out aopskloaksa

Going back to the beers, I will be honest, I keep trying to find a pattern in the scenes where they open the bottle for each other. It seems like they don't open the bottle for each other when they are discussing a problem outside of their relationship with each other? Like, Buck opens the bottle for Eddie in the kitchen scene in 309, Eddie opens the bottle in 612, and those two scenes lead to them talking about their relationship in a sense. But they just hand the bottle closed to each other in 312 when discussing the skateboard incident, in 504 when discussing Chim leaving, and Buck does hand Eddie the bottle closed during the coming out scene which is ultimately not about their relationship, although, Buck does hand the bottle while it's open to Eddie in 613, but they don't show Buck opening said bottle so I kinda think there's something to be said about the action of opening the bottle for the other in scenes they are opening up to each other about each other.

Something major about the scene is also the framing and positioning of them in the scene. I made a framing meta with most of their major scene at some point during the hiatus, you can read it here, but something about the 2 of them is that they tend to be on the same level while talking about Eddie's problems, they are both sitting down (that's even exemplified in 705 with the gym scene) and they seem to have Buck sitting down and Eddie standing up when talking about Buck's, so Buck is physically looking up at Eddie. I have an admittedly confusing post about Buck and the looking up thing you can read here because I touch on emotional scenes for Buck that don't involve Eddie if you want more thoughts.

The whole looking up thing is interesting for many many reasons, but mainly because, one, Buck is a big guy and Oliver is the tallest person in the main cast, so he's usually the biggest person in the room, so having him sitting down is a way to make him have less power in the scene in a sense. There's also the way that Buck as a character likes being in high places, he sits at the counter, the chills on top of the firetruck, he sleeps in a loft, he likes being physically high.

But there's also the way the show tends to give Buck the high ground during emotional scenes. Both figuratively, like having him stand up before yelling at his parents in 404 or having him be the only one standing up when he tells the team about Daniel in 405, and literally, like in 316 when he's talking to Maddie about being the one who's always left behind and breaking up with Taylor in 518.

It's also interesting because Buck mostly looks up his love interests, there are exceptions to this, he has scenes looking up at Bobby even though most of their heart to hearts they tend to be on the same level, both standing up or both sitting down, but he looks up at Taylor and Abby and Ali and Eddie and I think that plays into the way Buck wants love to fix him, so he doesn't want balance, he wants answers. But this is a problem when you think about it. Because that creates an emotional imbalance between Buck and Eddie. It physically exemplifies the way Buck's admiration of Eddie clouds his judgment when it comes to Eddie. He expects Eddie to have the answers. He blindly trusts Eddie and in a romantic setting, that's bad. Buck can't really expect Eddie to be right all the time or just accept anything Eddie decides, because then their relationship is unbalanced, then Eddie is controlling it and a romantic relationship can't work in these circumstances.

But this scene actually breaks that pattern twice: Eddie is looking up at Buck while they are talking about Marisol and Buck actually sits down before telling Eddie it was a date.

This is huge. Monumental. Incredible. I have been waiting for this for SO LONG. Because Buck needs reassurance from Eddie here, but he is not looking at Eddie for guidance, he's looking at Eddie for acceptance. And that's what he's getting. Proof of Eddie's unconditional love. And Eddie needs Buck to just tell him how to fix it while being very irrational about the whole situation and Buck is being the voice of reason.

Also about the positioning in the frame, something media does to let people know the characters are not standing on the same side, to give that impression that they are in different places in the scene during a close-up is to place the characters on different sides of the frame, even in the beginning of the scene, they are on different sides. (Guide down the middle to help visualizing)

But when they are actually talking about it, they are both in the middle of the frame. Another scene they do this is the will reveal, during the will reveal they tend to both be in the middle of the frame. And that kinda gives this idea that they are seeing eye to eye, that they are on the same side. I have a whole meta explaining how they used this effect to show Eddie letting Buck in during his breakdown era, you can read that one here.

BUT, interestingly enough, Eddie actually leans away from the middle when they are talking about Buck dating Tommy besides the general concept that that means Buck is also into men, while Buck stays in the middle. That can absolutely represent a way for Eddie to distance himself from it in a sense, that while he is fine with Buck being bi, he's not all that fine with the concept of Buck actually dating Tommy even though he is encouraging Buck to go after him, but that's just a theory to back me and my Eddie fell first and has accepted he can't have Buck tendencies. I think that's also backed by the way Eddie is maintaining eye contact from the moment he realizes this is something important for Buck, but he does break that eye contact when Buck tells him he can't stop thinking about Tommy, almost like he needs a second to believe what he's about to say.

Another interesting thing is the way they had Eddie ready to leave and Buck doing his little ducked head Eddie smile while Eddie leaves, so Buck seems fine with the way the conversation went, before having Eddie turn back around to hug Buck.

He reaches the door, realizes he's forgetting something, and strides right back to demand a hug, which considering 703 when we have Buck stopping to thank Tommy then running after Eddie, and Eddie being about to run back to Marisol and a relationship he doesn't really want to be in, the way he stops in his tracks to go back to Buck, kinda poetic when you think about this way, I think.

I think there's a lot to dissect when it comes to the actual wording of the scene too. Eddie saying "this doesn't change a thing between us" is very on purpose, if Eddie had said anything instead of a thing, it would have had a different effect. Not changing a thing when, one, we all know it will change it because buddie is coming, and two, even if we didn't know buddie is coming, this has the potential to fundamentally change the nature of their relationship eventually and the show loves to prove Eddie specifically wrong, but even then, would adding romance actually be changing anything between them when they are already life partners? This fundamentally changes them but also doesn't change them at all. Also the way Buck says "that's a relief" sounds almost as if he was expecting Eddie to say something else.

Also, love the way we got another roundabout way for Eddie to say he loves Buck but this time he actually said the word love "he'll love you like we all do" thank you, Eddie, for finally using the word.

Also love the way Buck is just taking deep breaths through the conversation because this was something that was stressing him out and it going well makes him breathe easier because he needs Eddie's acceptance in this.

I think these are all my thoughts on this scene, at least is all I can think about right now, so, as always, if you read this I love you 💜