#this is stuff ive been screaming about for years it's lovely to see other people saying it<33

[positivelyadhd]

one of the things I'm so passionate about is schools and accessibility in schools and yesterday I heard a radio segment (it starts at around 1 hour 7 minutes! the interview with students is at 1 hour 38!) about a school in the UK for autistic girls!

they interview some of the students and it's just,, so lovely to hear young people talking about going to a school where they feel understood and like they can be themselves.

it was really lovely to listen to so I thought I'd share for anyone that might be interested!

[braxlrose]

I miss ur writings sm :(

I am so sorry that I've been gone for so long, I haven't posted any fan fiction in so many months and honestly I lost motivation 😭 so many ppl who were in this fandom and I created a community with, were slowly getting over this "phase" and it definitely affected me. But I'm going to try and get back into writing. I hope this will do good for now! Ive had a lot of ppl recently ask for 2005 bill hcs, and I've done that before so if this is repetitive for something else I've written, sorry!

content warnings: none

a/n: I'll be updating my tag list since it hasn't been updated since like August of last year and I don't want to be tagging people who don't care or want to see these posts anymore. So if you wanna be tagged, let me know!

2005!bill kaulitz x f!reader

sfw:

- I'm an alternative person so whenever I write for bill, I always imagine him with an alternative girl 😞 even though from what I've seen he's never really been w/ an alternative one, BUT LETS PRETEND OKAY 🙏🙏

• he absolutely loves doing hair together, I think he enjoys helping you do your hair in the morning and your make up. And he's even more greatful if you do his makeup. Then he can just relax while you help him.

• pookie has crunchy ass hair at the end of the day when he has to wash it out, don't make fun of him 😞

• getting piercings together is something he LOVES doing with you. Mainly early piercings because he only has a tongue and eyebrow piercing on his face.

• if you made music too, he would always go to your concerts and basically scream the entire time. Hopefully, you'd do the same for him.

• if you have longer nails, head scratches are always a must and he will lay in your lap for literal hours while you pamper him.

- I personally think he would love to learn words in your language if you keep something different than German. And despite what anybody thinks, he finds it hilarious to learn the dirty words.

• if you cook him something from your culture, he will literally die. He basically thinks everything about you is so cool, and learning about a culture different from his is so exciting

• but if you two really want to date, you'll have to both try to learn English or each other language because there is going to be a hard language barrier between you two.

- I think one of the reasons he would've fallen in love with you is because you were upfront with him. He's not the type of guy to just go up and kiss someone so if you confess first, that would make things so much easier.

- obviously, you'd have to get along with Tom, Georg and Gustav. So if you don't, there's no way he'll go out with you, especially if you can't get along or hate Tom.

-Dates together consist of stuff you guys bought somewhere, or if you guys went to a fastfood restaurant.

• He doesn't have a lot of money yet so dates wouldn't exactly be high class, hopefully you don't mind 😉

-Since this is around the time Tokio Hotel is getting increasingly famous, there are fangirls around trying to flirt and ask out bill all the time and he has to shoo them off. He reminds you every night about how much he loves you and that those fan girls shouldn't bother you.

-he likes to spoon you a lot, and you two switch back n forth between him being the big spoon and the small spoon.

• I think he also really likes it when you lay on top of him, with your face in his neck and your legs wrapped around him. (This also works sitting upwards).

• cuddling with him is so nice too because he actually smells really good 😱

- I think he still gets very insecure sometimes because of the haters and people who harass the band because they don't like them and you reassure him a lot.

a/n pt 2: sorry this wasn't too long! I'm trying to get back into the groove of writing so if this is terrible I'm sorry 😞

taglist: none right now

[hongtiddiez]

last twilight e3 thoughts feelings etc

so in the past ive watched the episodes and digested them and come back and rewatched to put together my thoughts but im kinda crunched for time today and have a mountain of work to do sooo i'm just gonna do this in one sitting and i'm so sorry if it's not as good or as coherent as what i usually deliver aaa. it's also going to be a bit longer than normal probably but i'll try to cut down on stuff that seems unnecessary or maybe just too obvious to comment on.

OH ITS STILL REALLY LONG EVEN WITH EDITING I'M SO SORRY.

oh them being playful with each other is everything to me. oh my god and Mhok learned, he listened to Porjai and he learned to organize and clean and do things with Day as an active participant so he knows where everything is and is taking control of his own life. oh we're only 3 minutes in and i'm emotional, okay.

i do love that we get to see the way Day has isolated himself and that while his family haven't helped there's also a large part of it that is his doing. ive said it before but when you're newly disabled it can be so so easy to isolate yourself. hell, i've been diagnosed for almost 10 years and i still do it from time to time as my condition worsens because it's hard. there are so many questions you have to answer, there's the anxiety of not knowing if people are going to be accommodating to your needs, and sometimes it takes twice or even three times the energy it used to take before because every action is a little harder now. it can be terrifying to put yourself out there again and you will lose friends in the process. there will be people that don't understand, that find you to be an inconvenience, that won't make accommodations for you, and it will hurt every time but saying goodbye to those people is always ultimately for the better - but it doesn't make it hurt less. as much as i'd love the realism of it, i hope we don't have to see Day go through that.

Day's story about his friend is interesting, too. he says he doesn't want to be pitied by his friends but the thing is. they just did that, they accommodated their friend, and from the sound of it they did it without judgement. so why couldn't it be the same for him? it just shows more of his anxiety and his fear.

"i felt like my life was worthless. all i saw in people's eyes was insult."

screaming. crying. throwing up. i don't need to say anything about this but i thought you all should know it made me ill.

"once i'm ready you'll be the first to get my invitation card." Porjai and Mhok's friendship means so so fucking much to me.

here's the thing, my best friend and i dated in high school, we were 16 and fucking stupid and toxic and our home lives were shit and we took it out on each other and we made each other fucking miserable by the end of things. we didn't talk again for over five years. it took time to come back together, to heal and accept our own faults in what went wrong. we stumbled here and there as we came back together but now? almost 10 years later i don't know what i'd do without him. that's my platonic soulmate, that's the one person besides my husband i can share anything with. fuck, he knows more about my life than my husband does because he was there to see me at my worst, at the scariest point in my life where i almost wasn't around anymore to see tomorrow. that kind of friendship is so fucking special, i cannot even properly put it into words, and for Mhok to keep that? to have that with Porjai? i'm so fucking glad he has that. i'm so glad he got to keep his platonic soulmate.

small aside, i love that Mhok consistently announces himself to Day. it's a little action but it's so considerate. he's honestly doing such an incredible job.

Day puts his sunglasses on like armor; like they can shield him from the judging stares or looks of pity he can't see. maybe someday he won't need them, not because his heart has hardened to take the blows, but maybe because he knows Mhok is by his side. because remember - it's the way they look at us.

"i heard you wanted to take time off and focus on badminton" Night i'm going to drown you in your own toilet. this is just furthering my thoughts from episode 2 that Night is ashamed of his brother and his condition, or perhaps that the family is trying to hide his condition for some fucking stupid reason.

the bravery it took Day to come here and admit whats happening to his is huge, but i'm also in love with the admissions admin saying sure, you can have time off, but you're not allowed to quit. you're not allowed to give up on yourself.

"we must live with hope, Day" and that's it. you have to. you just have to. every day is going to be so hard and so much, you'll have good and bad days, but at least in all those days you'll have hope. and maybe someday that hope won't be for new eyes. maybe that hope will turn into acceptance, into determination, into pride at what you've accomplished in spite of it all. in my opinion, hope is an amazing fuel but it's not sustainable, it's just a vehicle to get you to where you need to be.

Mhok asking a blind man for a tour, oh fuck fuck fuckfuckufkcufk-- Mhok essentially saying show me your world exactly as you remember it, let me in. see how things have changed and how they've remained the same and do it with me by your side.

THE WAY MHOK SHIELDS HIM AT THE LIBRARY. DAY DOESN'T NEED TO WEAR HIS SUNGLASSES LIKE ARMOR BECAUSE MHOK IS BY HIS SIDE AS HIS SHIELD. chewing my own arm off brb.

"and you also have me. nothing to be afraid of" because i will always shield you, i will always protect you, i will stand by your side AAAA--

on part 3/4 now, i promise i'll shut the fuck up soon. if you've read this far pls take this as a smooch checkpoint, i'm giving you a little forehead smooch. have you had any water today? taken your meds? relax your shoulders, unclench your jaw.

ok back to it - Mhok continuously having Day make his own selections in these various machines. Day's fate is in his hands, he can do these things himself, but Mhok will be there with him the whole way.

"my eyes don't work well but my legs do just fine." this is such a massive leap from the man that wouldn't even leave his bedroom, from the man that was suffocating in his environment. Day is no longer a dying man, a shambling corpse. he is an active participant in his own life again.

"stay close to me, that's all i need" bitch i'm gonna throw up, you can't just hit me with that after that's all i've been saying this whole time what the fuck.

OH FUCK ME. okay. alright. hang on. so when they enter the shop Mhok describes it to Day, explains where the jeans are, where the shirts are, asks him what to do and what he wants to take a look at. this is a direct antithesis of Night in episode 1 asking where Day was going to wait for him, where he could leave him so he could get his shit done. Day isn't being asked to wait, to just sit idle while life passes him by, he's being asked what he wants to do, where he wants to go, what he wants to see. FUUUUUCK. and knowing Mhok is doing this because Day expressed that he liked dressing nicely? how the fuck am i supposed to just go to my job like a normal person after this episode.

wow the shirt buttoning scene just made me so mentally ill. right now, Mhok is doing his job. he's helping Day get dressed. but someday? someday this could be Mhok dressing Day not because he needs him to help but simply because Mhok likes doing to for Day. there's the sensuality of caring for your partner, of running your hands over the planes of their shoulders, of skimming your fingers down their chest to pluck every button. it's an exploration and a declaration of love. if we get this again in a future scene and it's something like that please remember me fondly because i will perish.

at the bookstore Mhok recognizing Day doesn't want to wait, but Day has become so accustomed to the other people in his life telling him what to do that he falls back into that behavior - but Mhok doesn't let him. he prioritizes Day's needs and desires, even if it's something as little as finding a book, without being asked.

THE LAST PAGE IS MISSING.

(because one can't see his future and the other can't see in the future, but also because they'll make their own ending, they'll face that when they get there, but they'll do it together -- what if i lost my shit completely of it?)

when Mhok leaves Day to get him a drink the camera is focused on Day and the clear warring emotions on his face but if you look in the background Mhok hesitates, he stops and turns a few times to look at day. he's reluctant to leave him and worried. Mhok worries so much but it's always so understated or in the background, covered by the emotions of others he values above himself. (or overlooked because of 'what type of person he is')

while its anxiety inducing i do enjoy this regression of behavior because adapting to a new life is hard. you will regress, you will stumble, you will fall into old habits or sometimes old fears will return. its what you do after that that is important. the one thing i hope doesn't happen is i hope this doesn't cause a rift with Porjai. i think Mhok needs her right now, maybe not forever, but definitely right now.

HE PUT ON THE FUCKING SHIRT. THE FUCKING SHIRT DAY COULD SEE FROM MARS. OH MY GOD. i know this doesn't need to be commented on, i know it's obvious, but FUUUUCK.

Day's mom trying to weaponize Mhok's past and Mhok taking the ammunition from her hands and telling Day himself. the acceptance of the past and the determination to move on and grow from it. Day's refusal to let the past repeat itself with a new caretaker. whoo boy.

and again Day wants to see Mhok, because even bruised and battered Mhok is worth seeing.

if the last episode ends with "sweet dreams/good night" i will be burying myself alive, thanks.

THE PINK SHIRT RUINING HIS BAD BOY IMAGE BECAUSE IT IS BEING RUINED. HE'S MOVING ON, HE'S GROWING, HE'S BECOMING A NEW PERSON. FUCK OFF.

i'm so so sorry this was so long, every episode makes me feel more and more things and makes me analyze shit more and more.

tagging @benkaaoi and @callipigio as requested (if you want to be added to my last twilight meta tag list just let me know!)

[traumatizeddfox]

hey! i just found ur blog and i was wondering if i could ask u some questions?

tw abuse? maybe?

recently my friends have been trying to tell me that my family(mostly my older brother) had been abusive to me based on some of the stories ive told them about how my bro used to hit me and stuff. in my head what happened was completely normal and i even joked about it. i was always told that it wasnt a big deal and that older brothers are just like that or that it was my fault for "poking the bear" and that he did it because he didnt know how to show that he loved me. i never really thought about it as weird until my friends started saying it wasn't normal? i been thinking about it and i know that siblings can be mean to each other but i feel like it crossed a line when i stopped fighting back hoping he would get bored if i never gave him a reaction. ive felt so upset with my family for a long time and god i want to leave and live by myself but thats not an option for another year or so. i know that parents screaming at their kids every day isnt normal and older brothers constantly hurting their little siblings isnt normal but i just cant stop thinking that im being overdramatic and unfair to them. i feel like im being manipulative whenever i try to tell people about it because its fine and it really was my fault. even saying that sounds really manipulative though! i dont want to give people the wrong idea and i dont know how to say this right

my family has done so much for me theyre lovely people and i know i love them so why do i keep flinching when theyre in the room and why do i feel so paranoid that someones mad at me? i just want to get away from everything

i feel so guilty i should be more grateful to them

i cant get my head around this and i honestly dont know what to think at this point so any advice you have would be greatly appreciated

sorry for the long ask and i hope ur doing well

-🌧️🌧️🌧️

for many victims we don’t even register it’s not normal because to us the abuse is normal because it’s all we know. it’s pretty common for victims to not realize they were abused until years later or until we tell someone who think it was normal

ur family can still do nice things for you but they can also still be abusive. u most likely flinch because that’s your body remembering the abuse. our body, our muscles and our nervous system can remember but our mind does not.

don’t feel guilty for feeling this way it’s normal to feel confused by abuse because it’s not always black and white either!! depending on ur age i would see if you could stay with someone else or live with friends (but i also know this isn’t always possible.)

[yardofangels]

Hi Iris! I just wanted to ask if you had any general head canons about König (your AU or just in general) that you’d want to share? Anything about his upbringing, love language, unhealed trauma ect. that you’d want to divulge? Also I absolutely love your writing. The way you write König is definitely one of my fav interpretations of his character.

OMGGGGGG IVE BEEN W A I T I N G FOR SOMEONE TO ASK ME ABOUT THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM SO EXCITED YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND OSPDHVWEVNJWEGOH

thank you sm for your words!! im so flattered <333

for this one its going to be headcanons for my AU of könig. hope you enjoy!!

tw for implied verbal and emotional abuse, bullying, negative self-talk, mentions of locker-room talk, violence, and implied manipulation below the cut!!

könig's flaws and love language have a lot to do with his upbringing. don't get me wrong, it wasn't like what he'd heard of ghost's upbringing. könig had adequate food and shelter, and his parents never blatantly mistreated him. he was never kicked, or hit, never had things thrown at him; nothing was ever wildly hurtful.

but what he had suffered built up over the course of 17 years and had impacts that lasted much longer. shit that he's still trying (not) to work through today. shit that stayed deep within his psyche, that he came back to every time he failed and shit that whispered down his neck, telling him to push himself further.

from the outside looking in, he came from an entirely normal family. his mama and papa loved each other. they went to church every sunday, and beamed when people complimented how tall their boy was getting. könig was spoiled because he was an only child and never had to share the attention. he excelled greatly in the subjects of mathematics and science from the time he was 8 and received recognition for this at school.

but the outside never gets to see how bad you're hurting, does it?

he'll never forget the way his mother straightened his collar, scolding him centimetres away from his face, reminding him that if he gets anything less than a 19/20 on the upcoming test, he'll have no hope of being anything to them.

he still can't seem to shake the look on his father's face when his mother ranted and raved about how könig had tarnished their entire reputation by questioning the teacher's authority, how he was a disgraceful and humiliating child. the way his papa's bushy eyebrows pinched, and he ran a hand over his buzzed hair. the look that screamed 'if i say anything, she'll attack me too.'

none of it was loud. everything his mama ever did to him was only ever alluding to him being the worst thing she had ever done. it was the words, the mind games, and the inability to fight back. he was trapped as a youth. trapped in a household that yelled 'i love you', and whispered 'but only when you are my projection of what you should be.'

of course, it didn't stop there, either. he was torn into relentlessly at school, too. it was much like his home life, except with the added bonus of being thrown into trees and having his face dunked under sinks for extended periods of time.

y'know, typical kid stuff.

they grabbed at anything they could with him. his love of space, his braces (that never really did much to help his teeth in the end), his height, his size, his stutter. all of it. anything that indicated that he was different to the rest of the population was like a big, red target on his back.

what they did at school further cemented in his brain what he learnt at home.

you are worth nothing. you contribute nothing. you are nothing. all you are is an outsider. all you can be is an outsider. you are not attractive. you are not talented. you offer nothing. you are nothing.

this treatment from ages 0-17 is what led to his deeper flaws emerging from 17-25. his frequently infrequent contact with his mother and father, his tendency to distance himself from the other cadets, his daydreams of violence.

he didn't like crying. it sent memories of sobbing in the PE closet and into his pillow flooding back. he preferred to push it down, ignore it, and forget it happened. he would much rather be the first one out at target practice.

he still stuttered. so, he stopped talking. he resorted to closing his mouth, to wearing a bandana, to wearing a balaclava, to wearing his t-shirt. he liked fading into the background, even though his build wouldn't ever really allow it. he hated socialising. at first it was because it made him so nervous (it still does, but he won't admit that). he couldn't find the right words to make himself likable. after a while, he came to resent it. why was everyone else able to pick it up with such ease, but not him? where was the fairness in that? he eventually stopped seeing much point in speaking up more than necessary.

and girls never took interest in him during high school, so he didn't expect them to now. he was never upset with the women, he wouldn't blame them if they wanted nothing to do with him. it was his fellow cadets that drove him insane. talking of a new bird every day, objectifying them, degrading them. part of him wanted to join in; share this bond they seemingly had, talk about his own girl he used up. they made it sound so good. but a bigger part of him was wildly jealous and horrifyingly enraged at what they could say at times. it filled him with a fire that he couldn't quite understand.

this didn't stop him from a go on the local barrack bunny here and there. just to prove to himself that he wasn't entirely devoid of feeling.

he couldn't really pinpoint when the violence arose in him. it just. appeared to him one day. he realised while standing over another limp body that he'd killed someone and enjoyed it. that he'd taken their power away, just like his mother had done to him. his mother who had now disowned him for staying in the army for so long. his mother he wanted to destroy. his mother whom he could never destroy, so he destroys others instead.

eventually, he started pushing the limits everywhere he went. the more settled he got in himself as a man, the more he acted out. this is what landed him in jail. his rash decisions, his anger, his lack of all other emotion. it was eating away at him behind those bars, and he itched to take it further.

that itch only got stronger when he met you. you, who he now had to protect. you, who he saw meaning in. you, who saved him from being consumed by his darkness.

könig doesn't love in a particularly healthy way. i mean, i think that isn't too surprising given what he went through and subsequently put himself through. he loves possessively, he loves obsessively, he loves as if there is nothing else in the world but you and him.

to him, love has no definition. it has no 'right and wrong' other than hurting the person you love. if he has to hide something from you, it's because he doesn't want to lose you. if he has to use his words to twist your mind, it's so you never lose sight of him. if he has to protect you from the world, by any means necessary, it's worth it. if it's you, it's worth it.

he sees no problem in doing morally grey, or even impure things if it means you stay with him. after all, he loves you. you wouldn't deny him, would you? don't you love him too?

he knows it'll never get to the stage where you question him, though. he can see you are wholly dedicated to him. it's only more fuel to him being able to do what he wants to you. he knows if you were aware, you'd like it.

in terms of love languages, könig's biggest is physical touch. he just loves that skin-to-skin contact with you. he loves how much bigger he is compared to you, he loves wrapping himself around you, to the point where it almost looks like you two are one entity. you're just so soft and warm; he can't ever get enough of, in some way, having your skin on his.

aside from that, you'll often find that he shows his love in acts of service. anything from sweeping the kitchen to building a house, if he can serve you or protect you, he'll do it. he's unsure where this tendency came from in him. he just enjoys keeping busy.

he particularly appreciates words of affirmation from you. something he never really received growing up. he would never ask you to praise him, never even admit that he likes it. but when you slip the occasional 'you're so good to me, baby' or 'this is wonderful, you did amazing', he melts. he's a sucker for being told he's good enough, or that he did well.

könig sure as hell isn't perfect, but he's working on being better for you. he's doing what he can to make sure you never see the vulnerable child in him. the wrathful teenager. the uncaring man. he wants you to have the best of him.

and you do, because you bring it out in him naturally.

-------

yeah!! that's it!!! i tried desperately to not talk to much but there's just so much to say. so many things that this post could lead to.

thank you so much for reading this far!! pls reblog if you like it, and send in more requests!! it makes my day!!!

[vthetease]

my favorite things

it's me birthday

so just incase anyone wanted to know some stuff about V

heres some random info about my life as well as some of my favorite things

i am a libra sun, aquarius moon, capricorn rising

i like dark chocolate more than any other; i have since i first got my period. i like gummy candy and starbursts but my favorite are the little cola bottle candies. i like tea and coffee sweet, but flavorful. i like energy drinks and slushees and wanted my first tattoo to be a cola-mtn dew slushee but it wasnt. i like waffles more than pancakes but would prefer a toaster strudel or muffin. i like apples and lemons and cinnamon and garlic and truffle and black cherries but not maraschino. i dont like onions or cilantro or swiss cheese. i dont like chili because something about the consistency of wet, tomato-ee hamburger makes me ill. i also can't drink hard liquor.

i like smells like thick cologne that lingers and juniper and spearmint and old houses and honeysuckle and the smells of the earth when it stops raining in the summer. i like the smell of other peoples laundry soap and coffee more than my own. i like eucalyptus and aloe and teakwood and dragons blood incense.

i like classic rock from my dad and 80s pop ballads from my mom and afi and lincoln park from my older sibling and 4*TOWN for my younger sibling. one of my earliest loves in music was Paramore, and hayley is an inspiration of mine. i like pop punk and the band ive seen the most is sleeping with sirens, 4 times now. i like hip hop and rnb and acapella and piano. i like music that makes me feel alive. anything from violin to screaming, i just like passion. i'm a very passionate person and always have been despite myself.

i sing and like singing in the car, while i shower, and cook. i am very loud but sometimes can do cool things. i like how singing makes me happy and helps me relate to other people and also my predecessors. i like how i feel connected to those before me through my voice. my first time singing in public was my 4th grade talent show. I sang The Only Exception by Paramore because my parents thought Almost Lover was too dramatic and adult for a 12 year old

i like old movies and i used to fall asleep to them at my grandparents and wake up to them at weekends at my dads apartment. i like musicals like ride the cyclone and drama like the fault in our stars and action like john wick and will always be down for a horror movie. i like get out and candyman and hereditary and black swan and blair witch and creep. i like the twilight zone and rod serling has a special place in my heart. i also like alex trebek from jeopardy, matthew grey gubler, penn badgely, andrew scott, evan peters, and my biggest current celeb crush is matt rife.

i like being alone in busy places. i like to talk to people but i also like to disappear to the other room during the party. im the girl you find sitting outside sometimes smoking, or on the balcony. i enjoy walking back into a concert midsong and seeing all the happy little people being happy. i like stepping away from chaos to appreciate it. i like driving on highways at night when its empty and im high. i like watching airplanes land. i like sleep and i sleep in a tank top and underwear but never socks. my dreams always take me back to this very similiar place every single night doing different tasks with different people. i might start calling it the twilight zone. i like to paint my emotions in my makeup and artwork. i have always felt very deeply and openly.

i like the moon and the stars and it is so fascinating to learn about the same beautiful big rock my ancestors saw. i feel drawn to white butterflies and birds and bumblebees and skinks ( they r tiny lizards). i like history and culture, but im really bad at math.

thats all i can come up with for now. if you have any questions let me know

thanks for reading about me, lmk if youre in love yet

valentine, 22 today <3

[serpentmessmer]

tag game!!

tagged by my darling @pregnancykink

Do you make your bed? i'll at least straighten it out, in large part because my cat loves sleeping on the bed and she prefers when it's made

What's your favorite number? multiples of 5 always make my brain go brrrr but also for some reason i really like the number 37

What is your job? i hang out with animals

If you could go back to school, would you? like college yeah maybe if i could afford it without it being a financial stressor sort of thing lmfao

Can you parallel park? yuuuup, i don't have to do it very often but i can absolutely do it

A job you had that would surprise people? i legit worked at a mine, doing gold mining stuff (preparing/photoing core samples, printing sample bags, weeding the core warehouse)

Do you think aliens are real? oh absolutely. with the size of the universe being what it is, there is no doubt in my mind that there are living beings elsewhere

Can you drive a manual car? yeeeeee, i've got a little '81 toyota sr5

What's your guilty pleasure? as prev said, i do not feel guilty about pleasure

Tattoos? i've got 10 i love getting tattooed

Favorite color? greens, but specifically very yellow-grey leaning greens, i like the swampy dusty colors

Favorite type of music? see, the thing is i kinda listen to everything/i don't really delineate by genre??? and my favorite changes by season because i'm really out here going based on the vibes. recently it's been a lot of the pop-punk i listened to in high school tho so like mid-late '00s pop punk but i listen to a lot of metal and ambient and pop and hip hop, it's more "does it fuck?"

Do you like puzzles? i do, and like p much all of them i love games that are really puzzle based especially

Any phobias? yea for sure but i'm not going to list them here though where somebody can use them against me lol (spike im just keeping ur answer bc same)

Favorite childhood sport? i am deeply uncoordinated and unathletic and well i ended up playing golf in high school and that's about it. i was less a sports kid and more a going outside and being a gross menace kid

Do you talk to yourself? oh absolutely, on the regular

What movies do you adore? the way my brain screams ANNIHILATION every time this movie comes up lmfao, but some others are mandy, dinner in america, the mummy, the second lotr specifically, and jesus christ superstar which i do rewatch at least once every year. i like movies they're fun

Coffee or tea? generally more tea but that's because most roasts of coffee give me hellish stomach cramps and not a lot of places have white coffee which is the only one that consistently doesn't fuck my guts up something fierce

First thing you wanted to be when you grew up? a vet, but i am not mentally/emotionally strong enough for that and i am not nearly good enough at math to do all the sciences required lmfao ive just always really loved animals

for tagging i'll hit @rmilkies @wetusb @kennyyomega @ashes-acedia and @saltbind

[babiebom]

Sdv Bachelor/ettes as the Hatchetfield Universe Characters

A/N:STARKID STARKID STARKID I LOVE SO MUCH also another shitpost? in this economy? More likely than you think. I wanted to do ALL Starkid characters but I think that’s too many options and I will be here for fifty years. Also this is a gift because I started work today and will probably not post anything for a hot minute

A/N pt 2: HAHAHA I STARTED WRITING THIS MY FIRST WEEK AND IMMEDIATELY GOT SICK SO IVE BEEN OUT OF WORK FOR A WEEK

Tw: maybe some spoilers for both the game and the musicals, cursing, mentions of abuse, murder, and some other stuff

Wc: idk it’s headcanons bb it’s gonna be at least 3 points though

Sdv Masterlist

Sebastian

Ethan Green(Black Friday)

Resident emo/badboy duo

I do think that as a teenager he would run away with someone that he thinks that he’s in love with to give them a better life even if he’s mistaken about how hard it is

Like he just seems like that type of guy

Like he would be the “yeah babe your family sucks let’s get out of here and be on our own” type of guy

I also think that he would be sweet to his partners younger sibling like just because he doesn’t get along with his own doesn’t mean that he hates kids or anything.

Also smokers lmao

Just really fits the vibe of Ethan very well

Guy that looks tough and bad boy-ish on the outside to in reality just be sweet and caring

I could also see Seb in the Ethan outfit :)

Sam

Kyle Clauger (Nerdy Prudes Must Die)

While I don’t think Sam is a bully really

I do think that as a teenager he would just go along with what his friends say because he is a sweet boy that just wants to fit in

Doesn’t wanna bully anyone at all just wants to be happy

Is popular but also not the most popular because he’s a golden retriever and isn’t really chasing popularity

Like yeah he wants to fit in but that doesn’t mean he cares about popularity really he just wants to be liked he doesn’t really care if he’s known or not

Kyle is really just a background character and we don’t really see him unless it’s like specific scenes with Max or like the aftermath.

So we don’t really know a lot other than he never really wanted to bully people but wanted to fit in with Max even to the point to where he doesn’t date anyone max tells him he can’t.

I do think that Sam would choose his friends over a significant other unless he actually genuinely loved them so I think he kinda fits this jock that’s not really mean but isn’t really helpful vibe

I would’ve chosen Ethan for Sam but Sam isn’t really a bad boy on the outside if I’m being honest.

Shane

Paul Matthews (The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals)

Mostly because I think it would be funny if he screamed at the top of his lungs for coffee

Also I think he wouldn’t enjoy watching a musical he hates the fact that everyone in them are either so happy or that they’re singing every five seconds

“PLEASE GOD NO”

Would also be horrified at “What do you want Paul”

I would’ve probably chosen Paul for Harvey because of his love for coffee but I don’t think he would be this unhappy about everything

Imagine trying to get him to sign ANYTHING while he’s walking to Joja he will not

Paul is much nicer than Shane at first glance but at the same time I feel like Shane could embody him well.

Like Shane can be Paul but Paul could never be Shane.

Alex

Max Jägerman (Nerdy Prudes Must Die)

Again I don’t really see him as a bully

But I do think he could’ve been one in high school

Like Sam I think Alex just wants to fit in and be cool (especially because of his life) so as a teenager I could see him being an absolute asshole as a teen

Maybe not to Max’s level but like out of everyone I think he fits Max the most

In the whole star quarterback and liked by the cool pretty girls.

The reason they win their games

Also in the whole no one really understands them

Like I know Max is horrible he’s a LITERAL MONSTER

But like when the main characters try to bully him he literally is like “this is the nicest thing anyone has done for me”

Like yeah he’s a bully and we can see that and they didn’t really flesh out that plot line it seemed like Max didn’t really have people in his life that genuinely cared about him to set anything up for him or do things for him other than be yes men which isn’t really caring at all

I feel like Alex would be similar in that he doesn’t really have friends (Haley doesn’t really count for me because I feel like she’s using him as means to an end. As if she sees him as who she’s supposed to end up with because of their looks instead of actually caring for him)

Only people who either tell him what he wants to hear without truly caring or understanding (except for his grandparents)

Alex too would be happy if someone decided to go through the trouble of making an elaborate prank for him.

Harvey

Becky Barnes(Black Friday)

Him and Maru were the most difficult for me but ultimately I settled on him being Becky

Mostly because he’s a doctor and I’m pretty sure she’s a nurse

But also because I also think Harvey is brave enough to go through an abusive relationship and come out of it still wanting to help the world

Also because I also think he would kill an abusive asshole bc he’s hot like that

I think they would have the same values like everyone matters and just because you have money or a greater status doesn’t mean you can take advantage of people or act like an asshole

I also think it would take an ancient god to make him become a man without morals

Elliott

Professor Hidgens (The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals)

CAN YOU SEE THIS LIKE I DO

Both are men of the arts and it’s funny

Also writing and music are very similar/ writing a musical is literally just writing a story and adding music to it so when I say it’s similar I mean it’s SIMILAR

I could see Elliott going insane and holding people hostage like “DO YOU WANNA READ MY NEW STORY?? PLEASE READ IT AND GIVE ME FEEDBACK PLEASE!!!!”

I could literally see Elliott taking this role and killing it

Like it’s not a lot to say because I think it’s very obvious

Also they both have that air of like…..pretentiousness?

Not in a bad way at all it just like…..they seem to give off the aura of having money

I think I feel like this because it’s like they have the freedom to write and go into the arts even though Hidgens is a professor I believe

It’s just they give off the air of feeling or being better than you but not in a way that is like their doing maybe

Idk if y’all can understand what I’m trying to say? Like they don’t act like they’re better than you it’s just their vibes

Abigail

Stephanie Lauter(Nerdy Prudes Must Die)

I wanted her to be “Latte Hottie” from TGWDLM(I forgot her name for now ignore it) but she doesn’t really give those vibes when you think about it

I feel like Steph and Abigail are VERY similar

They both seem like in school they’re cool but in different ways but they both have similar vibes

I think Stephanie is more grunge or skater(forgive me I don’t know clothing genres)

And Abby is more gothic but like I think they’re v similar

Like they aren’t in charge but people know them and even if they dislike them no one is fucking with them at all

Also the way their fathers are

I feel like Pierre would be VERY similar to Steph’s father

Like claims they love their child but beat them down with their words

Like imagine if Pierre was running for Mayor or something like

You already know he would be the biggest asshole

Would also fall in love with a person she doesn’t really match with on outer appearance on first look

Haley

Emma Perkins (The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals)

I think it would be funny to put Haley in this role

Like they’re both bitches but are funny/attractive to the point where it’s fine

And it’s a bitchiness that isn’t from meanness it’s literally just them being blunt

Like there is no lie about what they’re saying it’s just a rude thing to say lmao

Would be annoyed if she was working and was forced to sing for every tip

Would curse and be sarcastic to annoying people without caring and somehow manages to not be fired

Only difference is that I think that Haley wouldn’t half ass ‘Cup of Roasted Coffee’ because I thinks she wants to look good

Would tell Professor Hidgens to fuck off that she doesn’t want to hear about his musical

Emily

Hannah Foster(Black Friday)

I think in my mind(I have not watched Black Friday since the first time I saw it and it’s been a while) that Hannah knew more than the others

Like I remember while watching it that they didn’t take her as serious as they acted more like they listened to her in a “yeah okay grandpa take your meds” kind of way

When in reality she was connected and seeing things that they wouldn’t be able to understand

I think Emily is similar or fits the vibe where she understands things in a different way than the others

And they just see it as her being weird when in reality she’s just connected to the world in a deeper way.

Even though Emily is the older sibling I think she just fits this role where she could feel what is going to happen from the beginning

Leah

Lex Foster(Black Friday)

I know this looks like I ship her and Seb but I don’t

Her moms a bitch, an alcoholic

Jkjk (that’s penny)

BUT!!! I think Leah fits the whole “run away to escape my problems and follow my dreams” sort of thing

Like she literally broke off an engagement(or relationship at least) and left everything behind to move to a town in the middle of nowhere in order to follow her dreams

Literally just wants the best for herself and if she had a sibling I think she would want the best too

I also think she’s a dreamer. Like you don’t run off to become an artist without having big dreams and aspirations.

Penny

Grace Chasity(Nerdy Prudes Must Die)

Argue with a wall I’m right

I see her as like a goody two shoes that puts her beliefs above anything and really wants to make her family proud

Like I could see her being deeply religious

And honestly if Pam wasn’t an alcoholic and her father was still around I think they would be similar to the chastity’s just not as bad

Like obviously holding someone’s books isn’t equivalent to sex or whatever they believe but I do think they would’ve raised her to be a good Christian gal that should wait until marriage

Also because Penny sticks around for her mother and to teach the kids gives me those vibes

Would also go crazy like absolutely bonkers this woman is

Maru

Ruth Fleming(Nerdy Prudes Must Die)

Mostly because I think it’s funny

And because I couldn’t figure out who she would be so she gets to be Ruth

Also I think they’re both socially awkward

Ruth is just an awkward person

And I think that Maru is just socially unaware

Also I think that Maru would be the friend that’s like “can y’all set me up with someone?”

And everyone would be like “lmao no”

JUST FOR ONCEEEEEEEE

also Maru probably never fucks because Demetrius is always on her ass

Ruth never fucks bc she’s unfuckable

Honestly the same thing no one wants to have sex with the girl who’s dad will barge in without announcement or care

Like he legit wanted to catch her in the act to yell

Like why would you walk in if you think she’s getting railed and not like slam your fists on the door if you wanna stop them

N e ways

They’re the same bc they’re nerds <3

[probablydinosaurs]

this was originally a twitter thread but mehhhh. the audience of one-two here get my insane venting instead. its 3am. I've had a rough day and I just want to list it out from worst to least worst. sorry if this is venting. again 3am. 1: my sister showed up completely unannounced, and waltzed in a fight with my other sister and her husband at their place. she had good reason to be here (she's homeless and is a fuckin ice age here. that's not a problem. we are glad she went to us for help.)-sadly she's an entitled fuck who begged my dad for cigs when we have NOTHING BUT A ROOF to give. its SCARY how poor we are. She was also VERY TRANSPHOBIC, which was not on my sister's bingo card this year. mainly about trans woman and their "complaining". my already shit sister saying terf shit was not smth i thought id hear. i was very upset about that. i haven't talked to her bc ik if i do, il cry but I've been giving her the silent treatment unless it's akward. 2: i have covid. had symptoms since like the 13th (i joked that i got it for my birthday) and its been a nightmare. i can't sleep. Eating sucks. my nose hurts. i think i blew a blood vessel in my eye. its just been the worst. 3: due to being unable to sleep, im wildly manic at 3am. i have nothing to do and no one to talk to. and im unreasonably upset that people on tiktok think Spongebob is a kid. like boi your face screams "post movie" pleaaasseee educate yourself on cartoon history. he is an adult! 4: after ALLL of this like 7 mins ago, the fire alarm randomly beeped a few times. luckily not a lot but still. stressed me the FUCK OUT. nothing is on. i think bc its the FUCKIN ICE AGE OUTSIDE, the apartment is a TAD too warm (witch its not. my feet are frozen)

5: found out today that scientists didn't start using real menstrual blood on pads/tampons till AUGUST OF LAST YEAR??? WTF WERE U USING BEFORE? That's why pads are always off SOMEHOW. SOMEHOW there's an issue. and tampons never fit right. they have been fuckin guessin for decades 6: my new cat is a needy hoe. I'm used to it but with covid and barely being able to walk/exist, her sweving between my legs is a nightmare. I always have to throw a bottle cap down the hallway just so she doesn't get in my room. 7: been on upsetting media tiktok. why the fuck is there a fandom forming around a vent cartoon about S/A???? like I won't say its bad but that's not a FANDOM THING! yall are fucked up (also it parodies the peewee's playhouse op and that bugs me. i love peewee.)

interlude: my needy hoe of a cat is named peewee (well to my mom, it's now Princess Pipsqueak but thats not a good name to say in frustration as I'm trying to exist down the hallway. also, we thought she was a boi at first and she has a face that looks like paul Reubens's. I still see it. 8: I have used up all the TP and tissues in the house and have been using paper towels to blow my nose, which is roughing up my already red sore nose. I put gold bond on my nose and it BURNED but now it feels smoother. 9: i feel like i annoy people with my Hannibal hyperfixation. i have yet to truly let it spread here but it's EVERYWHERE ELSE. (and il probs reblog this onto my hannibal blog so hiiiii) and yet it feels like no one cares. ik it's a bit niche, upsetting not everyones thing but Ive NEVER loved smth more and it hurts when i don't talk about it I just. want to get someone into it. someone else got me into it and it means a lot. I hope they are doing ok. I'm grateful they gave me my favorite hyperfixation ever. I've littrally never loved anything more. and I've been into a LOT of stuff. i was called annoying by an ex friend because i got into things too much. and to them, "too much" was anything that wasn't "i like this thing. i think this thing is good and cool. lets rp weird incest about it." (i hate my teen years) but like. that ex friend would HAAAAATE by hyperfixatiing now. i have friends to ENABLE ME NOW. 10: just added this one. kinda put two and two together that corp vtubers birthdays most likely aren't their real birthdays. everyone is celebrating a graduated corps bday and yet they moved to another company and like. no birthday in sight. and it feels weird to latch onto their old persona's bday when they are right there with probs a new (and more real maybe) birthday. you can actually go celebrate with them whenever their "new" birthday is and yet you are clinging to the past. especially since they are THRIVING where they are rn and were not happy as a bigger corp.

thats a bout it. thanks if u saw this and read. its ok if you didnt. i just had a LOT go on lately.

[mental-health-advice]

im not a good person. how do i deal with this?

i dont know what’s wrong with me. but im a horrible person. i dont think i am, deep down somewhere in my conscious. somewhere in my conscious, theres a nagging little voice telling me im fine, telling me im a good person. and for years that voice wasn’t a whisper, it was a scream, and it drowned out EVERYTHING.

but then, i started seeing more and more posts on mental health, talking about gaslighting and manipulation and all of these things that make horrible people what they are, and i realized “oh. im horrible.”

im not a good person. i push people away only to cling to them, begging they stay at my side. i vent to others only to turn a blind eye when they need me. i hate people i love, and ive actively imagined hurting those close to me, and i smile when i get those horrible thoughts. i have such bad anger issues i can explode into yells at one second, only to be normal and “cheery” the next. i manipulate and gaslight and lovebomb my closest friends. i get so jealous it burns me and makes me think awful things about people. ive actively had very vivid thoughts about hurting or killing people, and i get the same thoughts about being hurt or killed.

how do i deal with this? im in therapy, but for different reasons, and im not sure how to bring it up with my therapist.

Hey there,

I don’t think that there is such a thing of there being ‘bad’ or ‘horrible’ people in life. I do however think that sometimes people may do the wrong things for reasons that may be out of their control or through a lack of education or support from others. So in saying all of this, I do not think that you a horrible person at all. Yes, you may not always act in the best of ways but the fact that you have acknowledged this and are actively trying to seek some support and advice shows that you are actually a really good person because you are wanting to change/ make changes in your life.  

I know that you mentioned that you are in therapy for reasons that do not include what you have sent to us in your Ask, but, given that you have been quite descriptive in what is going on for you/ how you are feeling, would you feel comfortable in writing down this stuff or even showing your therapist what you have written to us? Sometimes writing can be so helpful and especially in times when you may find talking difficult or you are not sure on how to bring something up to someone, so maybe this is something that you could think about doing. Another idea on how you may bring this up in therapy may be by jotting down some points of what it is that you would like to say and try to elaborate on each point. Try not to focus on if you are saying or explaining things badly because apart of therapy is learning to talk more easily and/ or wording things better, and so your therapist will be able to ask the relevant questions/ help to prompt you to help you to say what it is you would like to or be more specific in things your therapist may want to know more about. So try to be kind to yourself and know that therapists have heard a lot of things in the past and so there isn’t really anything that is too big or scary that they have not heard before.

You mentioned that until you started to read posts about mental health and what others may struggle with or ways in which they may act. Is there a way where you can avoid reading such things? You may be able to do this by blocking specific things online that may view the most mental health related topics and try to read about more neutral or healthier things in life. I am not saying that reading about mental health is bad, as it can help us to connect to others/ feel less alone with our own struggles or diagnoses, but sometimes reading too much and too often on a certain topic (like mental health) can lead us to ruminate over it which can make us feel worse over time. So is this something that you may be able to do or think about? Of course, you don’t need to do anything you don’t want or make any changes that you don’t feel comfortable in doing, but sometimes even thinking about things can help you to think about what you may need in life and how you may be able to get it.

I really hope that this has helped a bit and please do let us know if we can help to support you in any other way!

I’m thinking of you and hope that you are going well!

Take care,

Lauren

[imsociallyanxiousgetoverit]

Im finally watching The Owl House instead of just seeing spoilers on Tumblr so Im gonna live-post my reactions cuz Holy shit do I have some things to say right now-

1. Camila sounds nothing like I imagined

2. LUZ DONT THROW BOOKS AWAY WHAT THE FUCK

3. Eda sounds nothing like I thought????

4. Luz… baby… you didn’t see the door with a giant eye and- ya know what- not worth it

5. Why is Eda not sus about a human? I am definitely missing something

6. Is Alex Hirsch the voice for the guard?

7. Why hand come off?????

8. Luz is self aware. This is good.

9. HOOTY??????? THE FUCK????

10. Luz! Don’t just grab people and creatures!

11. Wait- have I been mispronouncing Luz’ name? I thought it was Luhz not Looz

12. Eda! Blackmail and manipulation isn’t cool!

13. by the way both Earth and Boiling Isles conforming places are so disgusting like the fuck

14. Luz I love you and im concerned by your lax reaction to this new world

15. the warden is disgusting

16. h- thats not how physics work??? how are the doors opening???

17. Eda you’re great for protecting the child first

18. Luz is so cool for rebellion tho

Done! I think Im gonna rewatch each episode again when I don’t pay attention enough so I can write these. Hard to remember my questions if I pay attention too hard but ya know I wanna express how I feel too

1. wait these people are overreacting sometimes. the snakes and spiders? yeah absolutely valid to run. The sausages and eyelids???? Y’all overreacting. I mean the wasted food sucks but like its obviously just sausages guys. The eyelid thing is just something at least one kid does every year and its gross but not scream and run worthy. These people are so rude. At least the principal and Camila are concerned about Luz cuz of her seemingly not recognizing what is and isnt real vs just being dicks about her hobbies. It could be much worse in that way. Also Camila worrying about Luz’ lack of friends is good, too. Some kids do fine alone, but most really do need a support system other than family.

(ugh why is the next line down here thats so annoying)

2. Boiling Isles is like- lawless??? Clearly the warden gets away with his crazy arrests (kinda like Warden from Danny Phantom) cuz he’s just a dick. Like how is the guy selling person-eating icecream allowed but a fanfic writer isnt???? Like this is all clearly a reference to queerness cuz like fanfic doesn’t bother anyone else unless you see it out whilst that icecream could absolutely hurt some random civilian. The shit queer people used to and still get in trouble for with no valid reason- this also could be referencing race as well cuz it is disgusting how many POC are arrested or hurt due to plain racism rather than justice by law.

3. oh my godex I have been saying Luz’ name wrong! I thought it was Luhz! Is it Looz cuz its short for Lucida? Also the fact Eda thinks she’s clever for a human makes me worry everyone in Boiling Isles will think Luz is dumb just because of her species which is hella speciest and yeah im worried

4. ): giraffes are cool. Eda why

5. I kinda hate Hooty not gonna lie. Also ??? Eda why you leave your stuff outside ???

6. I just realized that the Conformitorium may actually be a proper prison that just has too many lax laws. Also how tf did does Luz open and close the door????

7. Luz’ willingness to just trust Eda is concerning. Also the BK crown is funny. Eda is a softie

8. oh the doors are opened normally itd just hurt ouch. Is the scene of them falling done by that Baxter dude cuz its kinda smooth af

9. I really hope Luz’ speech means something to kids and teens. It feels cringely bad to me but im also literally 20 so its not meant for me

10. Luz… you cant just offer up your services for ANYTHING! Standards! Boundaries! Her age is showing here. (what is her age? is she like 12?)

11. That photo thing is absolutely real. Some people think its a dramatic movie thing but Ive done it genuinely. Who had the sleeping bag? Eda or Luz? Also love her phone case. Cannot imagine sleeping without a blanket.

Properly done this time! I think I’ll watch the next one once through then ask questions though cuz this took far too long. Ill remember the questions eventually.

[sterlingarcher]

I love seeing your posts about like bandom history and just discussion and reflection from a more mature adult's angle, it's really relatable to me at 29. And while I have not involved in bandom before late 2015, I have studied a lot myself, and Panic! and Brendon were my first faves and still high up there. It really disappoints me how brutal antis are as I have figured them out to a T, treating minor errors as hate-crimes from Brendon but not anyone else. Are we not all human?

i havent checked my messages in so long so im not 100% certain when this was sent but this was a really nice thing to stumble upon today 😭😭😭 it makes me feel good to know that there are people out there who can sort of ~smell what im stepping in~ so to speak and that when i talk about this stuff its not always falling on deaf ears. ive always rejected the term “anti” because it feels so immature to say, but honestly what other word is there to even describe most of these people? haters? bullies? assholes? they dont have any actual critical thought behind why they came to hate brendon, they just know it became the cool and popular thing to hate him and “blame him” for shit and they couldnt bear the thought of not following the crowd and fitting in. youd be hard pressed to find me anyone whos life has been documented and scrutinized for as long as and as harshly as brendons since they were a teenager who HASNT stumbled or fucked up or put their foot in their mouth at some point. its wildly hypocritical because these people act very pure and righteous, and like theyve never done or said anything wrong or questionable or problematic in their lives which is just…. quite literally patently untrue for every person on earth. to assert moral and ethical superiority over a person like brendon is to be horrendously disingenuous, and it grossly highlights the efficacy of social media fandom war smear campaigns, lack of proper journalism, and the terrifying degeneration of peoples ability to engage in critical thought and perform unbiased fact-based research. these people act like brendon singlehandedly committed genocide or some shit, and honestly i find these people spend far more time thinking and talking about him than we as fans do. like he quite literally lives in these peoples heads rent free, and these are the same people who call us pathetic for still enjoying him and his music after all these years and not dropping off and following the crowd of sheeple like they did. like these people have the nerve to behave like 13 year old lunch-room bullies and then turn around and call people cringe and pathetic for *checks notes* … enjoying someone and their art and music. like honey the call is coming from inside the house. they love to use the classics like “jeez its just a joke” or “its not that deep…” when the reality is that if it was truly not that deep they wouldnt spend so much time obsessing over him and talking about him more than his fucking fans do. they quite literally troll his and panics tags and quote retweet and reblog almost everything they see with a shitty snide remark that they truly think is soooo clever and original (🙄) like its their fucking 6 figure paid career path. they constantly poke the bear, go swinging at a hornets nest with lead pipes, and then they get confused and pissed when they get bit and stung. like literally dude what did you expect? you come into a space specifically to cause trouble and piss people off and then act like the victim when you actually accomplish that??? call people cringe and fail and annoying and strange when they get emotional over something they clearly care deeply about??? as though if the tables werent turned these people wouldnt immediately start screaming crying throwing up and playing the victim. honestly though at the very end of the day i truly believe these proudly self-proclaimed “haters” are more miserable than ill ever be no matter how bad my life circumstances get. because ultimately i only spend a few hours, maybe a day or two at most being pissed that these bullies and mean-girls exist and love to invade our spaces for shits and giggles. but they apparently spend entire days, weeks, months… YEARS of their lives being bitter and vile and mean for the sake of maybe 10 likes on twitter and 5 minutes of internet validation. what a sad fucking existence. i prefer to be someone who enjoys things and engages with and consumes things that make me happy and joyful thank you :) anyway sorry for the ramble! if you read all of it i appreciate and love you for it!! 💕

[myfaveisnormal]

I posted 12,546 times in 2022

That's 10,295 more posts than 2021!

187 posts created (1%)

12,359 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@ fullmetal-alcremist

@ vampireautism

@ m0kush1r0ku

@ aromanticreigen

@ seafoam-blues

I tagged 4,151 of my posts in 2022

#star trek - 997 posts

#no id - 610 posts

#aa - 413 posts

#aes - 251 posts

#cosmic descriptions - 232 posts

#video - 231 posts

#cosmic queue - 217 posts

#cosmic thoughts - 128 posts

#gifset - 89 posts

#psa - 84 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#like i have a special interest in neurological disorders (mainly pds but sometimes other stuff too) and sometimes whn talking about them as

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

DO NOT INTERACT IF:

- youre the fastest thing ive ever seen

- that strike of lightning i just saw was you

- dont stop

- weve gotta keep it going all night

28 notes - Posted October 26, 2022

#4

Thank you for tagging me, @ angomay! The rule is to tag nine people, but feel free not to babes ;)

Favourite colour: Ohh I find it hard to pick favourite things like that, but lots of my things have been pink and red lately

Currently reading: I'm planning on getting Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka next week, as per my philosophy teacher's request

Last song I've listened to: Master and Servant by Depeche Mode!!! I love that song :)

Last series I've watched: I've watched a few episodes of Invisible City. I had to stop because I was stimming too much though fhekfhsjfh

Last movie I watched: I haven't watched any movies in a while, but think it was Sense and Sensibility.

Cravings: Sleep. And peace

Currently working on: A school play! I have so much to dooo...

Tagging: @ khonshufan @ minecraft-java @ r4np0e @ trans-hunter @ mortonscastle @ donaldtheduckdad @ shineyfish @ mntcoronet @ vampireautism and anyone who wants to do this! Feel free to tag me if you do :)

38 notes - Posted June 2, 2022

#3

[Video description: Recording of an audio titled "Chekov In Pain". When played, a voice calls out "Chekov!", to which he responds by screaming in pain. The voice calls out again, and this time Chekov screams for longer. End VD]

fuck it. chekov in pain chewsday

45 notes - Posted November 3, 2022

#2

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207 notes - Posted November 7, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

[ID: The "these hoes tryna distract me" meme, drawn over to show Benjamin Sisko studying while Gul Dukat lifts his shirt to show his breasts. Sisko is captioned "Me tryna maintain my federation ideals", and Dukat, " These hoes tryna distract me 🤦🏿‍♂️". End ID]

was looking for ways to procrastinate hw and remembered a post by @ tuvokswag . god help me

344 notes - Posted October 23, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[mayssa-m]

My mom keeps throwing at me hurtful sht and i dont even feel like she’s aware of what she’s saying it’s like she’s not my mother idk whats going on i don’t wanna paint this bad picture of her she really is a good mother but idk whats been going on w her the past like year and a half i feel like she’s got something against she constantly tries to put me down no matter how much effort i put in to show her love as somebody who isn’t affectionate, i don’t hug and kiss or any of that its more of helping her out and being easy on her even when i dont wanna do something im trying my best but i feel like she doesn’t see anything and i know the biggest problem is communication as somebody who doesnt show my feelings or speak about stuff that happens it fukks up situations even more though as i said then she doesn’t know a lot of stuff i had and assumes everytime she notices something wrong in me let’s say Ive been home for the past days and didn’t have the courage to go out because I’m feeling insecure and embarrassed of the way I look she’d ask me to go out even buy ice cream or anything, nothing wrong til here, Id be like “im not in the mood rn” she’d start bringing up every bad thing about myself, she’d start using things I had the courage to tell her before and start using them as arguments against me when she wants to start a problem with me and it really does hurt for example one day i had a school field trip and I said i dont want to go (I was always left out in class, was everybody’s last choice, nobody looked at me and no matter what I try i feel like people keep pushing me away+I was bullied by this group of guys+girls so was even more sensitive and uncomfortable with going especially that this trip was 2h long to get to the spot) I make the decision and simply tell my mom that I wouldn’t want to go she kept asking me several times and she would tell me some things like “let all your friends have fun, some things to say that I’m boring I always wanna stay home, she kept throwing stuff like that on me and at some point i cant take it anymore, a couple of months will pass and she would keep bringing that story up and mocking me about the fact that I didn’t wanna go on a field trip

if I didn’t wanna go there is a reason and she knows me damn well that I’m not the type of person to speak about stuff, I keep everything to myself, she never knew that I hadn’t had friends and was always left out til this year she realized, she still doesn’t know I got bullied, she knows nun of that and I know that the main problem is communication as even as I’m growing up with my mom I’m thinking I should try my best to open up to her, nobody else but her, I’m going out of my comfort zone for her and I learned to do that even with other people Im not as afraid to speak as I was, even with that I am 100% convinced it’s from her not knowing how to communicate with me, I would speak maturely with a low tone with her and you never know her reaction she would start shouting and start a fight, thr latest one I went out of my mind, broke down and started screaming histerically, it’s not of my nature as a calm person but I’m done hiding sht on the inside, it kept stacking up until I let it all out I couldn’t handle it anymore

if you don’t have an idea about a situation or about something please don’t try to interfere, you’re lacking so much background information and just information in general so either stay our or even if youre trying to help out try to get as much information as possible and don’t react to sht too quickly before knowing the rest as it’s never enough, you’re not in my shoes so there’s no need to waste your time or my time trying to understand

[1d1195]

hiiii !!! i finished ding and i just jasndjfhkadjadj I ADORE them🥹 they truly are just perfect for each other (girl omggg i NEEEEED a future blurb about the rematch and him winning he deserves it after all that anxiety😭 also you should do something where bc they do a rematch and none of them consider that first fight a real match IF HE WINS THE ONE STRIKE IN HIS LOSS COLUMN SHOULD JUST DISAPPEAR LMFAEJFKK)

I WAS SOOOOOO HAPPY TO SEE A TRADITIONAL BLURB !!!!! idk what it is about them but they just have a special place in my heart, i think when you were first posting the series i was just in a really different place in my life, not bad but not really good it was sort of an adjusting period, and i would get on here and read them and they just made me feel sooooo good and it was just a safe place to get lost in and everything. your writing truly is such a blessing thank you so much sam <3

AND THENNNNN last night i couldnt sleep so i was scrolling on here and i saw an anon mention committed and i realized I HADNT READ IT YET so you know i went back and read everything including their blurbs and ohhhh myyyy goodnessss😩😩 THEYRE SOOOOO ADORABLE they way they were just soooooooo down bad for each other ???? i need that otherwise it would never work between me and someone else. THE JEALOUSY BLURB WAS PERFECTION AND THEIR FIRST TIME ?????? AHHHHHHHHH

things are kinda boring on my end, it's officially iced coffee season again and i LOVE THAT. i CANNOT drink it during winter i already tend to run cold so that just pushes me off the edge and i just cant warm up again but now its hot out and im not sick anymore!!🥳 so thats fun

music wise i havent really been listening to anything new but i was on the phone with my sister this morning and i turned on Magic by 1D and its suchhh a fun song😭 ive been feeling more upbeat songs lately and that one has been on repeat ALSO last first kiss :))

hope your doing absolutely amazing lmk whats new with you what've you been up to ??

~🎶

Ahhhhh! Hi! I've been thinking of you! Glad to hear you're not sick anymore! I don't have very many new songs either--I'll have to look! I'm def PMSing so I'm looking for depressing songs to fit my mood rn lol. I'm back on my Noah Kahan kick. MAGIC IS SUCH A BOP. I use it to help me clean my apartment.

I'm so glad you liked Ding and I'm thinking that's a great idea 😉 I'll try to work it in!

That's really sweet about Traditional. It's def the series most people seem to like overall. I'm sorry you were in a tough place but it makes me happy you felt safe here on my little blog. It means a lot to me 💕

I loved Committed! I think it was a random idea (not super suggested) or at least I hope it wasn't because I can't remember. I just liked that TikTok that went with it 😂😂 They were oblivious little cuties for sure. Loved them 💕 SO glad you got to read something knew from me even though I'm def gonna be slow this week! I remember you saying you liked to read finished series so that's probably for the best. They were being annoying part way through if I recall. Not quite a cliffhanger but very Ross-Rachel just shut up and be together sort of thing 😉

I'm SCREAMING about iced coffee season. I drink it year round. My friends send me the snowblower memes during storms that say like "need anything from dunkin?" it's so me. I'm happy for you though! It's like it's officially summer once you start right? That's good news!

Tbh May was really tough for me in about every direction. I'm still kind of overwhelmed with a lot of stuff, but summer is looking more relaxed while still doing a bunch of things. The highlight of the last few weeks was probably reading my trashy romance book and going to a couple book stores and getting more books that I shouldn't have 🤭 It's also POLLEN SEASON around here and it's quite miserable. But it's okay, I will be fine. Just got to get through a few more days of craziness 😅

SO HAPPY TO HEAR FROM YOU! LOVE YOU!

xoxo

[miumiucowboy]

how i ruined my perception and idea of love

this is going to be pretty hard for me to write, and please bare with any grammatical errors etc as i am writing this just as the thoughts enter my head. maybe a video would be better but its almost 3AM and I have to be quiet. here is some context, im 18 years old, cis male and gay. all of my school life i was either bullied or made to feel uncomfortable in my sexuality, and this established a strong disconnect, especially in later years of high school, between the other guys and me. whilst i have female friends, its almost hard for me to feel like i fit in in either of this realms. besides my best friend who i would give the entire world too. i think its kind of important to note too that my father is, to be frank, emotionally unavailable, and my mother who has passed an array of her own problems onto myself, and she is emotionally manipulative and unstable, screaming and me, abuse to next second non-stop affection and love. btw, in no means is this me being like 'omg im so abused and mentally ill and no one wants me' like that victim complex stuff annoys me so bad, im just trying to figure out some emotions, but yeah i feel like that is important context. around my eighteenth birthday last year, I began seeking fulfilment off older men from the forbidden app (none of my friends even know about this) as a way to kinda fill a void of affection within me. ultimately this has totally destroyed my perception and idea of being loved. i'm currently talking to the cutest boy from brazil, and he is the first boy who I have ever genuinely been interested in getting to know on a deep level, ive never felt this way about anyone before so im trying to sort myself out for his sake and also because I really really really want this to work. i want to be loved so bad. i constantly crave validation from him, otherwise I feel as if he is loosing interest and for that I blame my mother - constantly trying to work around her unstable emotions, to stay in her 'good books' otherwise hell would rise. this is one of the biggest regrets in my life so far, is always catering to the what she would want. its always at the forefront of my mind and I feel as if she controls me in that regard. i also become way way way too attached to people who show me the smallest amount of attention just because I really am so lonely. im currently at university and this is a whole other thing but the loneliness is insane, especially when you see friends doing so well socially, and of course im happy for them its just hard because I feel like my teenage dream and expectations vs what I have done are so far apart from each other and I feel like im wasting my youth away. im also scared that i am unable to associate love and sexual desires with one another, and im scared that this is going to happen with this new guy. my entire mindset around love is ruined. idk what to do this isn't even all I wanted to say but its actually so hard for me atm so im going to stop here. i just hope that this works out between me and davi I really really really pray that it does