#reading about mental health

[mental-health-advice]

im not a good person. how do i deal with this?

i dont know what’s wrong with me. but im a horrible person. i dont think i am, deep down somewhere in my conscious. somewhere in my conscious, theres a nagging little voice telling me im fine, telling me im a good person. and for years that voice wasn’t a whisper, it was a scream, and it drowned out EVERYTHING.

but then, i started seeing more and more posts on mental health, talking about gaslighting and manipulation and all of these things that make horrible people what they are, and i realized “oh. im horrible.”

im not a good person. i push people away only to cling to them, begging they stay at my side. i vent to others only to turn a blind eye when they need me. i hate people i love, and ive actively imagined hurting those close to me, and i smile when i get those horrible thoughts. i have such bad anger issues i can explode into yells at one second, only to be normal and “cheery” the next. i manipulate and gaslight and lovebomb my closest friends. i get so jealous it burns me and makes me think awful things about people. ive actively had very vivid thoughts about hurting or killing people, and i get the same thoughts about being hurt or killed.

how do i deal with this? im in therapy, but for different reasons, and im not sure how to bring it up with my therapist.

Hey there,

I don’t think that there is such a thing of there being ‘bad’ or ‘horrible’ people in life. I do however think that sometimes people may do the wrong things for reasons that may be out of their control or through a lack of education or support from others. So in saying all of this, I do not think that you a horrible person at all. Yes, you may not always act in the best of ways but the fact that you have acknowledged this and are actively trying to seek some support and advice shows that you are actually a really good person because you are wanting to change/ make changes in your life.  

I know that you mentioned that you are in therapy for reasons that do not include what you have sent to us in your Ask, but, given that you have been quite descriptive in what is going on for you/ how you are feeling, would you feel comfortable in writing down this stuff or even showing your therapist what you have written to us? Sometimes writing can be so helpful and especially in times when you may find talking difficult or you are not sure on how to bring something up to someone, so maybe this is something that you could think about doing. Another idea on how you may bring this up in therapy may be by jotting down some points of what it is that you would like to say and try to elaborate on each point. Try not to focus on if you are saying or explaining things badly because apart of therapy is learning to talk more easily and/ or wording things better, and so your therapist will be able to ask the relevant questions/ help to prompt you to help you to say what it is you would like to or be more specific in things your therapist may want to know more about. So try to be kind to yourself and know that therapists have heard a lot of things in the past and so there isn’t really anything that is too big or scary that they have not heard before.

You mentioned that until you started to read posts about mental health and what others may struggle with or ways in which they may act. Is there a way where you can avoid reading such things? You may be able to do this by blocking specific things online that may view the most mental health related topics and try to read about more neutral or healthier things in life. I am not saying that reading about mental health is bad, as it can help us to connect to others/ feel less alone with our own struggles or diagnoses, but sometimes reading too much and too often on a certain topic (like mental health) can lead us to ruminate over it which can make us feel worse over time. So is this something that you may be able to do or think about? Of course, you don’t need to do anything you don’t want or make any changes that you don’t feel comfortable in doing, but sometimes even thinking about things can help you to think about what you may need in life and how you may be able to get it.

I really hope that this has helped a bit and please do let us know if we can help to support you in any other way!

I’m thinking of you and hope that you are going well!

Take care,

Lauren

[inkskinned]

love when men cry about body hair bc "it's hygiene" and yet 15% of cis men leave the bathroom without washing their hands at all and an additional 35% only just wet their hands without using soap. that is nearly half of all men. that means statistically you have probably shaken hands with or been in direct contact with one of these people.

love when men say that women "only want money" when it turns out that even in equal-earning homes, women are actually adding caregiver burdens and housework from previous years, whereas men have been expanding leisure time and hobbies. in equal-earning households, men spend an average of 3.5 hours extra in leisure time per week, which is 182 hours per year - a little over a week of paid vacation time that the other partner does not receive. kinda sounds like he wants her money.

love that men have decided women are frail and weak and annoying when we scream in surprise but it turns out it's actually women who are more reliable in an emergency because men need to be convinced to actually take action and respond to the threat. like, actually, for-real: men experience such a strong sense of pride about their pre-supposed abilities that it gets them and their families killed. they are so used to dismissing women that it literally kills them.

love it. told my father this and he said there's lies, damned lies, and statistics. a year ago i tried to get him to evacuate the house during a flash flood. he ignored me and got injured. he has told me, laughing, that he never washes his hands. he has said in the last week that women are just happier when we're cooking or cleaning.

maybe i'm overly nostalgic. but it didn't used to feel so fucking bleak. it used to feel like at least a little shameful to consider women to be sheep. it just feels like the earth is round and we are still having conversations about it being flat - except these conversations are about the most obvious forms of patriarchy. like, we know about this stuff. we've known since well before the 50's.

recently andrew tate tried to justify cheating on his partner as being the "male prerogative." i don't know what the prerogative for the rest of us would be. just sitting at home, watching the slow erosion of our humanity.

[uncanny-tranny]

I recently had to do a project in one of my psych classes, and man, I knew that CBT was used for every little thing, but seeing over and over, "do CBT! CBT is the best for every mental illness!" was so jarring. I'm absolutely biased because of my own experiences, but I just don't think it's as universal a treatment model as it's touted.

If you didn't benefit from CBT, it's not because you're lazy or didn't try hard enough or lacked intelligence or foresight into your own needs. Frankly, it's a therapy model that (I think) shouldn't be the only readily-accessible model and among the only therapy models covered by insurance. Some of us should not be treated in a CBT model and that's okay. It's not a sign of poor character or unreasonable demands, and if you don't think it's a model that works for you, then it's your right to express that!

[canonkiller]

these are, he says, the kind of test results we see after a car crash.

[esaari]

[girlfriendline]

claude giroux gets the helmet after scoring the OT winner

preds @ sens || 29.1.24

+ bonus Extra Large Versions under the read more (highly recommended)

[princeparadiso]

okay but did anyone here mention the fact that we discovered that q!Baghera built a tiny replica of her childhood room to house her mini-mes in under her castle and that she named said mini-me with the same ID pattern as her own

because that's a bit fucked up actually

[reading-comp-posting]

Hi, sorry for the minor breakdown but this has been brewing for a while, even before my first little break, but I've really been thinking about it since earlier this morning. I have (at the moment) a bit over 15,000 followers. That's far too many.

In the interest of trying to pretend that I don't have an inordinate amount of people following me, I'm going to be closing the askbox for a bit, maybe forever. Nobody's sent me anon hate or anything, but even positive messages scare me now. Each one is a reminder that there are 15,000 people looking at the things I post. Even making normal posts (not to mention meta ones like this) has gotten to the point of being genuinely nerve-wracking.

So the askbox is off, and I probably won't even be checking notifications frequently and/or at all. I will attempt to convince myself that nobody is seeing my blog or anything I post on it.

As for the fundraiser posts that have been sent previously, I will post those in time. Because the askbox will be closed, no more can come through, however. This is because I am, as established earlier, a coward.

[beanghostprincess]

Everyone is so empathetic to the idea of Denji being a victim of sexual assault until he is actually, explicitly, sexually assaulted and suddenly it's disgusting and off-putting and reading csm is wrong.

[jaylaraye47]

don’t ever tell a male SA survivor; “You’re supposed to enjoy it”

don’t ever tell a male SA survivor; "good game/job"

don’t ever tell a male SA survivor; “You’re a boy, you can’t get raped.”

don’t ever tell a male SA survivor; “that doesn’t count.”

don’t ever tell an SA survivor; “What were you wearing?”

don’t ever tell an SA survivor; “Did you close your legs?”

don’t ever tell an SA survivor; “They’re family, they wouldn’t do that.”

don’t ever tell a SA survivor; “I don’t believe you.”

don’t ever tell a SA survivor; “I know them, they wouldn’t do that.”

don’t ever tell a SA survivor; “You’re supposed to enjoy it.”

don’t ever tell a SA survivor; “We’re you leading them on?”

don’t ever tell a SA survivor; “We’re you rude?”

don’t ever tell a SA survivor; “You’re an adult, toughen up.”

don’t ever tell a SA survivor; “it doesn’t count.”

don’t ever tell a SA survivor; “it’s your fault.”

don’t ever tell a DA/GA survivor; “but you don’t act like it.”

don’t ever tell a DA/GA survivor; “But they seem so nice.”

don’t ever tell a DA/GA survivor; “They’d never do that.”

don’t ever tell a DA/GA survivor; “She’s a girl, girl’s don’t abuse.”

don’t ever tell a male DA/GA survivor; “Boys can’t be abused.”

don’t ever tell a DA/GA survivor; “But you have no scars.”

don’t ever tell a DA/GA survivor; “You’re just making things up for attention.”

don’t ever tell a DA/GA survivor; “you should’ve just fought/yelled back.”

don’t ever tell a DA/GA survivor; “It’s your fault.”

don’t ever tell an attempt survivor; “that’s selfish of you.”

don’t ever tell an attempt survivor; “I’ve had it worse/i know someone who has it worse.”

don’t ever tell an attempt survivor; “that doesn’t sound like an attempt.”

don’t ever tell a POC; “you’d be way prettier with lighter skin.”

don’t ever tell a POC; “but you don’t look american?”

don’t ever tell a POC; “you should try skin bleaching.”

don’t ever tell a POC; “oh, are you in a gang or something?”

don’t ever tell a POC; “but your skin is so light, you can’t be colored.”

don’t ever tell a POC; “can you give me the N word pass?”

don’t ever tell a POC; “your hair is distracting”

don’t ever tell a POC; “go back to where you came from.” [whoever says this, i live in your walls]

don’t ever tell an albino; “you’re white, not black.”

don’t ever tell an albino; “so are one of your parent white or something?”

don’t ever tell an albino; “you’d be prettier if you were normal.”

don’t ever tell an albino; “oh has anyone tired talking you limbs or something” [i will hunt whoever says this]

don’t ever tell a child; “you should take care of your siblings.”

don’t ever tell a child; “he hits you/is being rude because he likes you”

don’t ever tell a child; “you have to hug them!”

don’t ever tell a child; “it’s your fault we’re divorcing”

don’t ever tell a child; “you’re too old to be doing this.”

don’t ever tell a child of divorced parents; “it’s your fault”

don’t ever tell a child of divorced parents; “pick a side”

don’t ever tell a child of divorced parents; “did you ever consider that you should’ve stepped in?”

don’t ever tell a child of divorced parents; “well if they never got together in the first place, they wouldn’t have had you”

you never know what a person is going through and don’t you dare shame a person for something they can’t control.

if you say any of these things you’re disgusting and you need to not only get educated but stop being a dick.

keep in mind that i am aware that these prompts don’t apply to everyone of a certain minority. But this is me teaching to simply be kind and pay respect and mind to a person’s experiences, minority, etc. there are multiple prompts that can be added but I will refrain to using those out of respect, and also due to censorship.

[urfavcrime]

dsmp is still SO insane to me. still not completely convinced it wasn't a social experiment. it is something that can never be replicated again due to the really specific circumstances that attributed to it's creation and popularity

[inkly-heart]

please don’t be sad little sprout, you are loved 🌱 🖤

🌱

[f1-disaster-bi]

Everyone wants to talk about mental health until someone actually does, and then they use it to attack the person.

It's disgusting that in this day and age, Lando can't be open about his mental health and coping with the pressures of F1 without people attacking him.

If you support mental health for everyone and men speaking out about mental health but attack Lando for being open about his issues, then you can, rightfully, go to hell and stay there.

[stil-lindigo]

the dredger.

a comic about closure.

(buy the digital copy of the comic anthology here)

creative notes:

[ef-1]

This is literally horrifying.

[pixlokita]

I feel like ? I gotta remind people it’s ok to unfollow a blog when it upsets you in any way >> like if I ever do that sure, you can let me know if it was anything I did personally I’d appreciate it but if you just don’t enjoy something it’s ok to unfollow ;w; can’t stress enough how important it is to put your mental health first 👌