#this is the kind of random ass old ass pics I love

[offjumpoladulkittiporn]

this picture kills me 😆

[monzabee]

lawyer up (social media au) - lh44

masterlist ||

Summary: The one where Lewis is dating a lawyer, who might or might not love her job a bit too much.

Pairing: lewis hamilton x lawyer!reader (model used: random people i've found on the internet and also kendall jenner in like one part so it doesn't count)

Warnings: none other than some cursing

Author note: you all know who this is based off of... MIRANDA IS HEREEEEEE (not really but still lol) and i love this one so i hope you also like it as much as i do because i was feeling a bit overwhelmed and needed a little bit of self indulgence!! p.s. also, i actually planned for a max fic for today but after that delicious lewis win, i think we all deserve this one besties!!

Please also note that all of my works are protected under copyright, and not available for reposting on other platforms.

yourusername

Liked by lewishamilton, f1wagss, yourbestfriend and 23,746 others.

yourusername: what, like it's hard?

yourusername: lol, yes, yes it is

user: ugh, she is who i wanna be when i grow up

user: who wants to bet lewis makes her read his contracts before signing them

user: okay but why is it the cutest thing ever, i'm SO in

lewishamilton: hey, i'll take that bet

view all 564 comments.

user: HOW DO THEY FIND THE TIME TO BE TOGETHER, THEY NEVER KNEW A DAY OF REST POOR BABIES

user: girl... they're in their thirties... relax...

yourbestie: will be bringing you coffee for the thousandth time this week

yourusername: you're an angel

yourusername

Liked by yourworkbestie, lewishamilton, user and 34,736 others.

yourusername: today is a good day to make an old white guy cry🤍

user: MA'AM YOU'RE GOING TO GET FIRED

user: mother is out for revenge i wonder what this is about

yourusername: if it weren't for that nda...

user: she really won the idgaf war, hasn't she?

view all 827 comments.

lewishamilton: you're making me regret what i've told you

yourusername: good, maybe that'll teach you a lesson🫠

yourusername: let the record show this is NOT a good kind of melting puddle emoji

lewishamilton: ouch, sustained

user: ARE MOMMY AND DADDY FIGHTING NOOOO

user: if lewis did something stupid we all know she's going to sue his ass, right??

lewishamilton shared a story!

lewishamilton

Liked by yourusername, mercedesamgf1, charles_leclerc and 1,827,728 others.

lewishamilton: family time off

user: OH HE TOOK HER TO TAKE SOME TIME OFF

user: still don't understand how he bagged her, but good for them

user: why the shirtless pic?? who is getting fired now??

user: okay this joke has gone too far

yourusername: my babies

lewishamiton: maam i'm a grown ass man

yourusername: and??

view all 100,827 comments.

user: in the middle of the season?? he is down baddd

user: i'm dying, they are too cute

charles_leclerc: have fun on your trip!

mercedesamgf1: we miss you at the factory!

yourusername: no you don't

lewishamilton shared a story!

paddockgossipf1

Liked by user, f1wagss, f1gossipandwags and 23,973 others.

paddockgossipf1: lewis hamilton and y/n y/ln at the paddock amidst breakup rumours, it appears that she was a part of the hot lap portion of the events.

user: notice how they are never together alone and only smiling for the cameras? yeah we're so done

user: girl relax, take a pill, take a shower, take a walk

user: BUT ARE WE GOING TO GET THE VIDEO OF HIM DRIVING HER FOR THE HOT LAP

user: not gonna lie, they seem fine to me

user: BITCH THEY ARE FINE LOOK AT THEM

view all 3,287 comments.

user: i just know that she won't let him drive her around after this

user: it's so unfair for two good looking people of this caliber to be in a relationship

yourusername

Liked by lewishamilton, georgerussel63, mercedesamgf1 and 32,928 others.

yourusername: slightly over the speed limit, as always

user: LIFE ON THE HIGHWAAAY

user: omg girl famous last words rip

yourusername: you have no idea

yourusername: i should sue

user: OMG MOTHER

georgerussel63: the lad in the sunglasses looks good

user: NOT THE GEORGE CAMEO HI KING

lewishamilton: come on it wasn't that bad

yourusername: you are a maniac

lewishamilton: 🙁

yourusername: 🤍

view all 16,298 comments.

user: have they adopted george i need to know

user: poor roscoe has a new brother and he doesn't even know

[mathitas]

Let's say Leo and the other Hephaestus kids found a way to have cellphones without the monsters tracking them.

How would the demigods' Instagrams look like?

(If you want me to headcanon other characters, just comment it! I can make a part 2)

Percy

Knowing this guy, he would probably repost some vines and a lot of 'I love my girlfriend' type of memes.

I think he'd post some stuff when he hangs out with the others, or when something funny happened.

He definitely posted a video he accidentally took of Grover falling, and I just know he posts it again once in a while.

I bet he posts a lot of Tyson, especially as he's grown up, and throughout his mom's pregnancy he dedicated a lot of pictures and stories to her.

And don't even let me start when Sally Jackson gives birth to his little sister and sends her pictures to Percy! He's so proud he posts every single photo of her, even if he's not there. I feel like he'd randomly post pictures of him with Sally holding a tray of blue food saying 'I love my mom'.

I just know this guy's profile is full of friends, family and love. And he has amazing highlights.

He def has a shared bio with Annabeth.

He doesn't post many pics of himself alone.

AND HE'S SO FAMOUS...

Annabeth

She doesn't post much, but when she does it's mainly book or smart quotes she relates to.

She probably shares some architecture she's really passionate about and I feel like she would post some pictures of herself, mainly the ones Percy takes.

Which aren't always good, definitely not.

Percy definitely saw her drooling as she was sleeping after a long quest, and took hundreds of pictures of it. He definitely never let her live this down.

Anyways, I feel like her stories are mainly reposts from Percy's and her friends' profiles.

Still, I just know her profile looks neat and clean, unlike Percy's.

Grover

I was thinking that Grover wouldn't have an Instagram profile, but then I realized something way funnier. He would have one, but an old man kind of profile.

He probably has a low quality picture of a lake as a post (which was published at least 5 years ago), follows his friends, has a bad smiling picture of himself as a profile picture and that's it. That's his profile. Pure old man. He's one with nature, don't judge him. He'd eat his phone if he was hungry enough.

Jason

Here he is, another old man. His profile wouldn't be like Gorver's, but way worse.

He'd be slightly more active... just... random? He probably doesn't even know what he's doing.

I just KNOW he accidentally posts pics of himself from time to time, looking like this and this. Piper usually warns him, and he deletes them. If he knows how to, that is.

Just saying, he never grew up with technology, so he's not really good at it.

He'd have some average quality posts. I think two, or five. Either two or five.

And they're really straight man core.

He'd definitely post himself holding a big ass fish he caught on a fishing trip with Percy and Leo.

I think the other posts are landscapes, maybe some pictures with friends.

He also posts stories, and somehow, some highlights.

They're messy and they don't make any sense tho.

Piper

Her Instagram is amazing. She posts regularly, not a crazy amount.

But she does post funny videos, almost daily.

She definitely has separate highlights with her best friends. I feel like she posts her and Leo being dumb a lot.

She definitely shares music on her profile and makes highlights about it. And she posts lyrics.

Her posts are mostly from trips and friends, they're not too many, but they're great.

She usually posts stories.

Also, her Instagram is probably famous. Leo definitely asked her to post him to get him a partner. She did a whole portfolio of him. It was unsuccessful (Leo, please, get with me).

Leo

SHITPOSTS EVERYWHERE.

His profile is based on humour, vines, memes, shitpost... you name it. His surname would also be something dumb like 'alldaladiesloveleo._". You get the feeling.

His profile picture would probably either be him with sunglasses, and a happy face or him dressed up as spider-man.

He definitely thinks he's spider-man.

I just can see him posting things like this or this. Just... yeah... Leo.

He doesn't have many pictures of himself, probably because he's insecure.

He has some, and it's either with his friends or from some great memories.

He probably thinks he looks weird in them, but he keeps them 'cause they were fun times.

I just know he looks the cutest in them.

AND I ALSO FEEL LIKE HE'D LOOK AWKWARD IN PICS.

Idk, he's either smiling really widely or holding his thumb up awkwardly.

Either way, he doesn't have many followers, unlike Piper, Percy and Annabeth.

Nico

Our third old man.

He wouldn't be that bad, tho, he'd know how to use it. Mainly because Will helps him.

However, he'd post Tumblr quotes. Like, the depressed and sassy ones.

And I'm not saying he does it seriously, there's definitely some irony in it... but I do feel like he kinda relates to all of them...

Idk, I can see him posting this or this.

AND IF HE HAD INSTAGRAM WHEN HE WAS AN ANGSTY KID?!?! THIS. THIS IS WHAT HE WOULD HAVE POSTED. Also this...

Let's just say we're lucky he got Instagram after he settled in Camp Halfblood.

His posts would be full of sarcasm. Everyone thinks he means every single one of his posts, but that just pushes him to post more.

He's having fun, and Will probably sent him the worst ones, telling him to post them. They definitely got some people worried.

He has a good amount of followers somehow, and he only reposts when he feels like it. He probably has a shared bio with Will, and an highlight dedicated to him.

Will

I think he would also post some funny videos, it's not common, but he does. He probably posts some animal videos that made him crack up. Like this one (I'm only putting it because I literally couldn't stop laughing because of it. It is my favorite video on the internet. And yes, my brain is rotting.)

Like I said, he has a shared bio with Nico, and he'd also have a dedicated highlight for him.

I feel like he posts some candid moments with Nico. And yes, I'm talking about taking a pic of your s/o eating and posting it. It's cringe but he loves it. Nico despises it.

He'd also post some friends and has some pictures of him and his siblings at the infirmary.

I feel like he'd have a good amount of followers, and he posts some pics of himself.

He's so pretty, and his pictures are blessings! Nico definitely stalks his profile just to look at them again and again. He probably has them saved too.

Frank

He's reposting the whole WWF page.

I feel like he'd also post some candid moments with Hazel, but definitely not cringy ones like Will.

He probably blocked Leo.

He has a few pictures of him posted, but you can't see him really well.

He posts about the stuff he's doing and archery and his page is pretty serious and interesting overall.

His profile pictures is unclear, but you can kind of see him in it.

He doesn't have many highlights, maybe one with Hazel.

He doesn't post often, but idk, he's just chilling in his instagram.

Hazel

She also comes from the past, so she's not good at technology. Frank helps her with almost everything on her profile.

After she learnt, she started posting videos of animals doing stuff, tagging Frank, saying it's him.

He pretends to be annoyed at first but he thinks it's really cute.

She doesn't have any highlights but she has some posts (Frank posted them for her).

Also, her profile picture is her and Frank smiling during a best friend hang out. It was before they got together.

Idk, to me they seem like the sweet couple that everyone admires. They're not too clingy, but they are a power couple. Their Instagrams, tho? They do look clingy.

[neonovember]

steve rogers as a husband headcanon!

things about husband!steve that just makes sense

steve isn’t big on pda, thinks affection should be something private, he’s old school like that, there are some exceptions however, some very fun ones

even though he might be abit of an aversion to pda, steve will make sure that you know he’s just there

whether it be holding your hand, or his palm guiding you through a big crowd, he always feels a need to keep you at arms length.

steve is extremely protective of you..like bordering on possessiveness. he’ll even go as far are ignoring his own morals to make it sure, that people know his yours. It’s just that you’re the one thing that ever really grounds him back to earth, in moments where he gets lost in time and memories from before

“Hey I’m just saying, if you ever get bored of popsicle here, the iron suit is ready for you” Tony smirks, his legs perched against the coffee table. The Avengers are scattered around the tower's living room, half drunk and the other half trying to. You feel Steve’s grip on your waist tighten, and from the corner of your eye, you notice his orbs turning a ink-black. He leans across to Tony, whispering into his ear, the words falling out of his mouth like wine and into Tony. Tony’s eyes bludge comically, his throat bops as he swallows, nodding along to whatever Steve was saying, looking at you. Steve smiles, into his ear, it’s eerie, the way his canines glint under the high ceiling lights. You wish to the gods that you were given Bucky’s hearing but without a second, as if you had dreamt it in front of you, Steve is back beside you, only this time you feel his fingers slip between your thighs.

for some reason, I don’t get the whole “Steve being a horrible cook” trope, I genuinely think he’s an amazing cook and BAKER! that man can bake a mean batch of cookies

steve loves loves loves, calling you mrs rogers, or his wife. the first time he said it was well before you both uttered your vows, he just knew. oh and if you call him your husband? poor man will probably be hard for the rest of the day

steve has a breeding kink. we all know this, it’s practically attached to his file along with super soldier. but what most people don’t know is that he fucking lovess when you’re pregnant, it’s like senses go on overdrive until all he breathes, thinks and eats ;) is you.

steve has this fear of abandonment, mostly because he was, by his own country for a century. It seeps into his relationships, you’ll see if when he comes home from long missions and it’s as if he’s walking on eggs shells. His shoulders are tense and his holding his breath as if he’s just waiting to find the house bare and empty and your belongings gone. He gets really sensitive then, all murmurs and soft kisses and just holding you to remind himself you’re here.

there will absolutely be a time where steve fucks over the kitchen sink. the dirty dishes left abandoned (should I write this?)

steve can get a little anxious, and so his wedding band is something he’ll ALWAYS play with, he’ll twist its around his finger as a kind of reminder.

you love to tease him by bringing him lunch at the compound, wearing one of those sun dresses he adores because it gets him so. fucking. hard. He wont ever tell you though, just have to deal with it until he can get home, and by then you already panty less and on your knees waiting for him.

steve will probably force you to train with him, even if you can kick ass, he’ll pull a fitzgerald and force those trainers on you. poor boy is just scared that something will happen to you when his not there, plus, seeing you fight kinda turns him on. (just like anything else you do really)

Steve’s really bad at technology, we all know this, but he absolutely will try to learn how to use a phone so he can send you texts and updates throughout the day. he’ll take random pics of tony and sam when their not looking, take some Facebook mom ass selfies, take pictures of things he wants to draw and ask you if they’d look nice, he’s mind just constantly finds it’s way to you

cockwarming with husband!steve. that’s it

you help steve open up to the new things in this century, take him out to help him ease himself into the real world. people forget he never really got that chance, he died in one war only to be pushed into another.

it’s through you that steve learns that he’s obsessed with avocado. on toast, in milkshakes, everything, he’d literally a millennial

when things get too much, you’ll draw a bath and the both of you will just sit in the steaming water filled with some bubbles, candles illuminating the room instead of lights, and the ceiling to floor windows open. skin to skin helps steve calm his nerves, and it’s not abnormal for you both to stay in that position for hours

steve still gets shy around you, no matter how many years he’s been with you, he’s still that boy from brooklyn with a heart too big for him

steve has absolutely zero self control when it comes to you, say something nice about a necklace you see passing by? It’s on your neck the next day. Hears the sound of a slight rumble in your stomach? Steve’s whipping out his apron and making you eat something

steve is the type of man to never let you go to bed angry, even if you’ve both had a fight and he ends up on the coach it won’t be too long before you both find yourselves in the middle of the hallway missing each others touch

“babygirl, honey, my wife, doll, gorgeous”

you take priority over a lot of things in Steve’s mind, he’s never ever late to dinner, he’d rather lose his leg than disappoint you

sundays are for sex and sleeping

steve fucked you one time really hard over a drawer or ottoman and BROKE IT. now he’ll spend saturdays carpenting reinforced drawers, counters and bed frames ;)

makeup sex, and face and thigh riding <3

steve always feels as if he’s leaving a part of himself at home or with you whenever he leaves, he’s constantly watching the clock and bouncing that leg of his to get back to you.

steve would probably let bucky watch him fuck you..maybe.

even though I believe steve would be really possessive I also think he could easily be very private about his relationship with you. like that scene in aou where we meet Clint’s family? fury will probably drive up to some big cabin house with the avengers in the back and they’d be confused af when they open the door to find steve and you cooking in the kitchen with your kids running around the place.

“How much longer Fury, my backs starting to ache with this stiff as seat and Bucky’s feet in my face” groans Sam, leaning away from Bucky’s towering figure. “It should be around the corner” motions Fury, and just as promised the avengers pull into an expansive cabin house, elegant with is softened wood and timber gate ribboning around the land that seemed to stretch endlessly. When Fury had told them that he needed to grab something, they didn’t think it would end up with corny 70’s tunes cranking out throughout the car, one and a half hours from the city.

“This looks…lived in” Nat remarks, her fingers brushing against her holister, ears perked for any signs of human activity.

“Yeah, Fury, are you having us raid some lumberjacks generational home” Tony barks, stretching out his arms

“Just shut up and follow me” Fury sighs, before stepping through the gate and following the stone path. Wiping his boots across the mat, his reaches for the door, opening into the hallway of the strange home.

“Wipe your shoes, she hates when you trek mud in” Fury calls before walking in as if he owned the place

“She?” Thor whispers, what they all but Bucky thought. They followed unspeaking down the hallway leading to an open floor, the scene infront of them had their mouths hanging.

There Steve, their stone faces leader, fucking sautéing onions on large brimstone stove, laughter falling from his lips as you whispered into his neck. You were a sight to see, a dress falling onto your body like silk, cascading againts your curves, your hair was in an updo, curls draining your face and a bright smiling lighting up your eyes.

You were absolutely gorgeous, and to see Steve react to your affection in such a way told them you were more than just an old friend

“Bucky!” You smiles, reaching for the dark haired man, squeezing him in a tight hug.

“Hey sweet girl” Bucky smiles, gripping you.

Sam looked towards Bucky in disbelief, eyes shooting bullets at Steve in mock betrayal

“Really? You’re going to tell the ex murderer about your little secret life but not your saviour?” Sam mutters, before steve laughs gripping his chest.

“Sam meet my wife, doll now you know why I don’t let them near you” Steve whispers into your ear, making you giggle.

Sam reaches for your hand but you ignore it, going for a hug. “Oomf, hello to you too” Sam laughs hugging you back

“Hey Fury” You smile, waving a hand towards the man who nods in return.

“You all must be Natasha, Thor, Clint and Tony?, it’s so great to finally meet you” You speak, dimples pressed into your cheek

Clint seems to be the only one who snaps out of the rest of the avengers stupor, “I see you’ve pulled a Barton” He jokes, hugging you.

Once the rest of them finally greet you, along with some condescending remarks from Tony about “how the hell did you land her?!” The avengers sit around the table, drinking beer and eating good food and getting used to seeing Steve with his wife on his lap.

that’s all I have for steve at the moment, I’ll probably add way more later but I haven’t been uploading in ages and thought this would a quick little head canon for our spark spangled soldier!

p.s! requests are always open ;)

[captain-rickbond]

Okay alright OKAY Right, first of all, I love your art SO MUCH and I know I keep telling you, but that's because my love for your art keeps growing with every piece <3 That Mike Peabody pic? Ben as a villain??? WHY CAN'T WE HAVE A VILLAIN PLAYED BY BEN FUCKING WILLBOND?????? (technically we do in A Kind of Spark, but you know what I mean) NOW To be quite honest, I thought it was an illustration for one of your old fics "Aiming for Love" because that's exactly what i pictured for Ben (and Larry as well) to look like! xD So I was thinking, would you ever consider drawing a scene from one of your fanfictions? :> (And maybe, juuuuuust maybe, Mike could have a villanous right-hand man, Bob Hale...? 👀)

thank you for your fanart service 🙏

Don't stop telling me if you like something 👀 it's good to know when I'm doing things right 💜

omg yes, this is a perfect image of Ben from Aiming for Love

I've done 4 illustrations for my fics so far (all of them on my ao3), one of them was for the fic you mentioned - it's here

I also do the opposite - I write fics for illustrations I've already made 😅 like Fall for me and Movie Night (fail) (both fics in progress)

I can't believe that one day (6 months ago, I checked) I made a random illustration for one of my fics (Bruised, jesus, look at that old thing) and that's how it all started... and now I draw every day (!)

hmm… Mike P. Body and Bob W. Hale – this sounds… interesting (already on my to-do list)

feels weird not to post anything with this long-ass message so have my chaotic drawing process, 3h compressed to 30s, have fun watching me struggle ✌🏻 (and let me know what fic would you like me to do an illustration for 💜)

[bitchy-peachy]

[mostly queue operated : 15 posts per day]

Tags of stuff you might want to blacklist under cut as well as other things (check before following me. ):

TAGS

[ #noodity and/or #smutty (if you don't want to see artistic nudes or smutty art reblogs. I have a good reason for not tagging these #nsfw)

#spoilers (I tag anything new for any fandom coming out as #spoilers to keep you all spoiler free.)

#fandom, #fandom discourse (if you don't wanna see me complain about fandoms)

#horror, #tw blood, #body horror and #dark art (if you don't want to see fun splatter or spookiness that may be triggering since some people er... don't like it as much as me.)

#personal, #personal pics #ramblings, #rant, #rant in tags, #!!! (if you don't want to see the most random ramblings ever along with pics, long winded tag rants and me boosting things... although I would want you to boost things in the #!!! tag)

As well as #witchy things (if you don't wanna see me talking my "evil hocus pocus" stuff)]

#politics, #news, #SA mention, #true crime are also recommended to blacklist if you don't like such subjects (and my ranting violence at criminals and hating on the injustice system. I'm a huge pig with badges hater especially since I see 97% bad shit)

#me being blasphemous is pretty self explanatory.

Things That Will Get A Block

Associating with people that have hurt me and my friends

Content thieves. Art, fanfiction etc. Plagiarism and art reposts without credits to get attention on yourself with other people's work is a no.

People that start fights over literally nothing. People that are overly reactive and see "something bad" in anything and start drama about it.

Homophobic, transphobic etc people get blocked.

Right wing conservashits and western commie shits (which are just as bad as conservatives) get blocked. I grew up in a conservative family and I've heard your kind of nonsense repeatedly. None of you are creative and bring nothing new to your "arguments" so I see no point in searing my damned eyes with your uninspiring stale bullshit.

Racist twats get blocked. I ain't gotta see your dumbass. Nobody does.

Porn bots, empty accounts, business accounts, weird content that gives me ick (poop, diaper and piss play, necrophilia, age play, etc... all which I don't want to see and properly filter. Like I've got weird fictional interests and personal but even I've got my limits and people ain't even tagging it to avoid getting banned in random main tags that has nothing to do with it.)

Even at my married grown hag age I've had guys act inappropriately towards me almost immediately after I made the mistake of following them back. Block, reported. I'm too old for that shit.

Don't waste your time sending me asks or DMs asking for money. Some of you spam this shit to the point of becoming overwhelming. Fuck outta my asks and dms with this. You're obnoxious and its too damn much. Tired of having 30 asks begging for money and dms from fake ass accounts asking me for money cos I made the mistake of thinking they were a legimate follower. Sincerely fuck off and away to my block list.

If I block you for any of these things you'll probably stay blocked forever.

Random Things About Me

[Status: Taken 💍 but we share each other with fictional characters]

[🧿🔮Ecletic Bruja. Some of my stuff is closed practice but I do share generalized info. Just not closed ancestral matters..]

[Horror/Gore movie/book obsessed: I also reblog a lot of dismemberment and innards which explains the #body horror or #tw blood tag.]

[A bit of a classical art snob. I love old art, the darker and more tragic the better. You can find pretty things of this nature as well as fandom fanarts in #art]

[I ain't 100% "politically correct". I can drag both left and right and my politics can fluctuate between center-right or center-left depending the issue. Example: I support the death penalty (as long as there's no reasonable doubt) and abortion. I also support guns but not everyone having them and there being some more restrictions/background checks etc. That was just some examples of my stance on some subjects. (Made bold for emphasis)]

[LGBT+ safe space🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🌈 (if you don't like that gfy]

[I have writer's block on everything sorry]

[Dark Humor galore💀]

[Perverted Humor galore🥵]

[🗡 I will only follow back if I like your content and aren't a shitty p0rn bot or some money begging bullshit. I want actual mutuals to interact with and fangirl with, not a bot or a one post blog that only wants money🗡]

[Hablo Español and can understand spoken/read Deutsch and Portuguese]

[My blog is for me. Don't tell me how to run my shit unless you're a masochist.]

[Account is monitored with statcounter]

[the-invisible-queer]

HELLO I'VE DISCOVERED THAT YOU CAN SUBMIT ANONYMOUSLY BY LOGGING OUT OF TUMBLR so now we're finally back, with another wholly unnecessary and novel-length timeline of a Jonas Brother’s hoe ass antics. I almost didn’t do a Nick timeline after the Joe one, for reasons I’ll explain when I get there, but like I said I needed something to distract me/kill some time and writing out an extensive history of this man’s Nonsense turned out to be great for that, so here we are. I’m sorry so much of this focuses on the Disney love triangle (my preteen ass was HOOKED on that soap opera and apparently a lot of it has just been dormant in my brain ever since) and even more sorry it’s INSANELY long. Though at the end of the day it’s not my fault that this man’s teenage years alone were such a goddamn mess that they require extensive lore to fully explain so. Blame Nick for all of this is what I’m saying.

Same disclaimer as with Joe’s, this is all just stuff I remember with no research or anything, so I’m sure some of it is probably wrong and very sure some things were left out. Also I had to kind of weirdly switch up my formatting here since Nick’s first two relationships were extremely…entangled...for a while and couldn’t really be cleanly divided into “every girl gets her own bullet point” the way Joe’s timeline could, so bear with me:

Nick and Miley started dating in 2006, when they were both 13 years old. They were allegedly introduced by Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens (which is ICONIC honestly, like the passing of the Official Disney Power Couple torch) and apparently became attached at the hip right away. Here are some random bits of Niley 1.0 lore that I remember:

Nick once claimed that Franklin (who was like five at the time) also had a crush on Miley before they met and “tried to beat him up” when he found out they’d started dating. This is genuinely one of my favorite bits of Jonas lore ever lol like please that’s so funny and cute

At some point in like 2007 Miley was papped holding her phone in such a way that the background was clearly visible, and it was a pic of her and Nick kissing, which was hilariously major news on the tween gossip sites back in the day since they were still playing the “we’re just best friends!” game at the time; the same thing happened again when she was heavily photographed at an event with “I <3 Nick” written on her hand. At some point one has to assume she was doing this on purpose.

In literally like the mid-2010s Nick finally admitted that Miley was his first kiss (which, no shit??? Incredibly funny that he played coy about that info for years when like bro, you were 12 and homeschooled before her, literally who else would you have been kissing), and said he was embarrassed to realize later that he kissed her right after eating something with a bunch of onions on it and his breath probably smelled terrible.

According to a 2007 interview that I still vividly remember to this day, Miley and a certain “friend” (there’s Disney’s favorite word again) dressed up as Sonny and Cher for Halloween 2006. The fact that not a single photo of this has ever surfaced nearly two decades later remains one of the greatest disappointments of my life.

Niley 1.0 lasted roughly a year and a half: according to Miley’s autobiography, they started dating in June 2006 and broke up in December 2007, with one short ‘break’ at some unspecified point in between. During said break Miley wrote the song G.N.O. and a few others, and Nick wrote S.O.S., Still In Love With You and possibly some other songs I’m forgetting. They also worked together a lot during their relationship, filming the boys’ iconic Hannah Montana episode and then going on tour together with the boys opening for her on the Best of Both Worlds tour, which awkwardly was still going on when they broke up. Miley claimed they ended things mutually because they were just too busy to manage a relationship at the time, never getting to spend much time together because they were both so busy with work, and had started fighting a lot from all the stress they were under. Speculation abounded about whether or not that was truly the reason, especially once Selena hit the scene so quickly and the “you love me you like her” of it all, but it was the official story regardless.

Immediately post-breakup Miley dyed her hair black as a rebellion against Nick, who apparently liked her to have blonde highlights when they were together, and Nick seemingly coped with the breakup in a different way because rumors about him and Selena started cropping up as early as January 2008. One such rumor I remember involved them allegedly flirting at the Best of Both Worlds movie premiere, which is so hilariously shameless that I could easily believe it of Baby Fuckboy Nick despite there being, as far as I’m aware, zero actual evidence supporting it. Regardless of when it actually started though, by I want to say spring of 2008 Nick and Selena were definitely a thing and Miley was definitely mad about it. It was at this point that this entire mess truly started derailing into the endlessly chaotic trainwreck that captivated tweens all over the world for the next two years.

Very rough timeline of Nelena 1.0/general 2008 triangle lore, listed in the probably incorrect order that I vaguely remember things happening in when I was like 12:

Miley and her friend Mandy uploaded an episode of their “The Miley and Mandy Show” Youtube series pretty obviously making fun of Selena and Demi, who at the time were very close besties which just made Demi also guilty by association I guess. This video was the official start of The Feud between Miley and Selena (and their respective sidekicks for a while). Shortly after this they uploaded another video ‘apologizing’ for causing drama, saying it was all in good fun and the girls were all friends; this apology was blatantly insincere and nobody believed it.

Private photos Miley’d sent to Nick during their relationship, clearly intended for his eyes only, were leaked online after her computer was hacked. We don’t need to discuss this in any further detail as it was really gross and invasive, especially considering Miley was very much a minor at the time, but it was a notable event within the love triangle lore so I couldn’t not mention it.

The Burnin’ Up music video dropped, featuring Selena as Nick’s love interest. Fans everywhere were SHOOK by this, both because it seemed like much more of an official relationship confirmation than Disney “We’re Just Friends” Channel stars were normally allowed to give AND because fans quickly started putting together that Burnin’ Up was likely written about Miley, who’d worn the famous high heels/red dress combo commonly thought to have inspired it to an event with Nick long before Selena was even in the picture at all. The drama! The mess! To this day I would love to know if this casting choice was Nick’s decision or if it was Disney’s – it was heavily speculated that Disney sometimes escalated the love triangle drama on purpose, either to capitalize on it for publicity or to distance Nick’s image from Miley’s after the photo scandal by associating him with Good Girl™ Selena instead – but it was very entertaining either way. All of this was truly great television tbh.

The 7 Things music video also dropped, featuring a lot of very blatant references to Nick and completely gagging all of us again before we’d even finished gagging over Burnin’ Up. (I genuinely don’t remember now if these two songs/videos actually premiered like a week apart or not, but that’s definitely what it felt like at the time lol. Just new bits of wild drama dropping every other day like these damn kids thought they were Kendrick and Drake. It was insane to live through as part of the target demographic and tbh this whole experience probably rewired my brain permanently and is why I’m like this.) Dissecting this song and video kept fans busy for a good while; I still remember how super smart my friends and I felt when we realized the melody of 7 Things was just the melody of Hello Beautiful sped up.

Kevin, of all people, popped up somewhere wearing a “Team Demi and Selena” shirt in reference to the ongoing feud between them and Miley + Mandy. He of course denied that it was referencing this and IIRC tried to claim it had something to do with like a bowling team that Demi and Selena were supposedly starting??? Okay, Kevin. Again, I’d love to know if Disney orchestrated that or what bc otherwise what was his grown ass doing jumping into beef between a bunch of like 15-year-old girls to begin with lmao

At some point Nick was directly asked if 7 Things was about him and said it couldn’t be because his friends aren’t jerks, which is somehow the funniest possible answer he could have given so props to him for that one honestly

Miley performed 7 Things live at some event that all the other Disney kids were at, and during the song she walked into the audience to where Selena was and they sang a line or two together. Around this time (I can’t remember if it was also at this event or a different one) the three Disney girls took pictures together and Demi and Selena took pictures with the boys, but Miley avoided them. I remember there being speculation around this time that Nick and Selena might have been on a break or at least having issues, bc of how very suddenly the two girls appeared to start getting along and bc of Selena lowkey shading her own boyfriend? But I have no idea if that was true or not. Nick was probably rattled either way though lmao

Miley’s album Breakout dropped, obviously featuring a lot of songs about Nick but, infinitely more unexpected than that, also featuring a message at the very end of the dedication page thanking ‘Prince Charming’ for inspiring the album and saying “I loved you then, I love you now, and I’ll love you always.” Fans reached levels of gagged so unprecedented that one girl I personally knew jumped the Team Nelena ship and converted over this.

JB’s album A Little Bit Longer dropped (again, what felt like very very shortly after but may not have actually been idk, I’m not about to look up release dates for this) also obviously featuring a lot of songs about Miley – and ones spanning their entire relationship, at that. I don’t think I truly realized until years later how funny it actually was that Lovebug and Can’t Have You were literally released at the exact same time lol.

At some point in the midst of all this 15-year-old Miley started dating a 20-year-old underwear model, which always creeped me out even as a literal child. Not long into their relationship said pedo boyfriend took the tween gossip world by storm by dressing up as Nick for Halloween, which at the time I found somewhat funny despite my reservations with him, but looking back on that as an adult it’s sooooo…that kid is barely sixteen. Why are you dating this teenager and mocking her also teenage ex over their messy teenage beef that does not concern your grown adult ass literally at all AND ALSO WHY THE FUCK AREN’T YOU IN PRISON. Anyway. 12-year-old me always lowkey tried to avoid learning anything about this pedo since he creeped me out, so I really don’t know when exited the picture, but he must not have lasted super long because…

In roughly early 2009, Nick and Selena broke up. Just like last time it did NOT take Nick long to bounce straight back to his other option and in no time at all he and Miley were fueling rumors, publicly flirting and suddenly hanging out again – the iconic lunch date where they were seen alone together for the first time since their breakup and where Nick embarrassed himself by getting into a fender bender while driving his ex around lmao happened during this time period. I remember that Selena spent a lot of time publicly angsting and vagueposting about all of this on Twitter, but can’t really recall the specifics of that anymore. It was clear she was going through it though.

Niley 2.0/general mid-2009 lore highlights, again probably out of order somewhere (also for the full effect imagine all of these things happening literally back-to-back within the span of like two months):

Miley’s book released, suddenly revealing a ton of Niley 1.0 lore all at once. A lot of fans who met Nick around this time got him to sign the ‘Prince Charming’ chapter page of their copy, which admittedly was very funny and something I’m still surprised he actually did.

Before the Storm was written and recorded somewhere in all of this.

Miley, Selena, Demi and the boys all filmed the Send It On music video and its accompanying Disney Channel ads, including several clips the three girls had to do together in which it was painfully obvious that Miley and Selena couldn’t stand each other and poor Demi looked like she’d rather be eating glass than sitting there between them. Candids from the set dropped showing Nick appearing playful and flirty with both girls during filming, despite Niley being pretty obviously back on by this point and him and Selena still seeming to be on bad terms otherwise?

Joe opened his big mouth on Larry King and accidentally confirmed Niley 2.0 despite Nick trying desperately to avoid this, surprising no one but greatly amusing everyone (except Nick).

Nick flew out to visit Miley while she was filming The Last Song in Georgia, where paps caught potato-quality yet still iconic pics of them making out on a jet ski.

Miley made a surprise appearance to sing Before the Storm with Nick for opening night of the boys’ tour, which remains to this day the only time they’ve ever performed it live as a duet.

Selena Gomez & The Scene dropped a song called I Won’t Apologize which (on top of just dragging Nick for filth in general) pretty obviously referenced the love triangle, basically saying he’d tried to turn her into Miley or at least that she’d felt like she needed to turn into Miley to make him happy, and also seemed to imply there was overlap between Nelena 1.0 and Niley 2.0. At the time this last bit was very scandalous lore for young fans to digest, even though in hindsight that was really like. The least surprising revelation ever lmao. ALSO this song was meant to be like an empowered I Don’t Need No Man anthem, with her being all “you don’t deserve me” and “I won’t go back again” which is just…genuinely so fucking funny in context. Spoiler alert: she sure as fuck will go back again.

Then at some point that summer Miley got into her own insane love triangle which somehow seemed even messier than the first one, and after a few weeks of general chaos and confusion (apparently so confusing that even Miley herself walked away unsure of some of the exact dates involved) things eventually culminated with her and Nick apparently breaking up again and her stepping out with co-star Liam Hemsworth not long after. Mess upon mess. I very vaguely remember that in the months following Niley 2.0.’s death Nick was spotted two or three times with…some girl who had like a bit part in one of the Camp Rock movies, I think? I want to say Courtney or Chloe something but again I’m not looking shit up for this. To this day I’m not really clear on if there was anything to that or if it was just a rumor bc he was seen near a girl during his first time ever being single for more than like a month, but if he and Random Third Girl actually did have anything it must have been very brief because…

Did Nick learn from the experience of seemingly being on the other end of a love triangle, as one of the two people being played with at once by the third, that this feels like shit and maybe he shouldn’t do it to girls anymore? NOPE! By late 2009 he’d already run straight back to Selena, who happily took him right back as if she hadn’t just spent the last year publicly whacking him all over Twitter and in her music. God every single one of these kids was a fucking disaster GIRL WHERE’S THE SELF-RESPECT WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT ENTIRE DISS TRACK YOU WROTE

Anyway. Nelena 2.0 and general 2010 lore highlights, once again probably out of order but oh well:

Miley was very blatantly pissed when Nelena reunited and publicly shaded both of them several times, despite the facts that 1) she actively had a boyfriend at the time and 2) by all appearances she was the one who’d dumped Nick for someone else anyway, because apparently her not wanting Nick did not mean Selena could have him. Okay girl. One of these occasions that I remember being HUGE gossip was when she changed the lyrics in 7 Things to say Nick’s brothers were jerks, rather than his friends; it remains unclear to this day what, if anything, the brothers did around this time to suddenly warrant their own specific lashing.

Nick Jonas & The Administration’s album Who I Am dropped, featuring several songs commonly thought to be about each of the girls, but I don’t think Nick ever explicitly confirmed any of them.

For some occasion (maybe Valentine’s Day?) Nick, nothing if not dramatic, built some sort of elaborate rose garden at Selena’s house as a surprise – likely a reference to the NJ&TA song Rose Garden which was allegedly about her. Roughly a year later after they’d broken up again Selena would do her own on-stage lyric change in reference to this, bitterly saying something like “the roses you built me were only made of plastic.”

Justin Bieber made his first appearance in Selena’s life while she was still with Nick. While there’s no evidence that anything beyond some mild public flirting happened between them until after Nelena 2.0 ended, him showing up in this timeline at all is still just…incredibly fucking funny to me. A THIRD love triangle has somehow hit the fucking towers.

Nick performed the song Stay for the first time, setting off a fandom debate over its muse that still persists to this day. Some think it was about Selena because they were together at the time and because she was present and seen crying in the audience when he performed it; others think it was about Miley because she also had a song called Stay that Nick’s seemed to directly respond to in a lot of ways, and because Selena’s tears as he sang it didn’t really look like particularly happy ones. Many OG fans still have passionate opinions about this today, and we will almost certainly never find out which group is right.

Nelena 2.0 was ultimately rather brief, not lasting more than 3 or 4 months into 2010 I’m pretty sure, and with its death the official Disney love triangle era finally concluded as Selena jumped out of the frying pan into the fire left Nick behind to enter her Bieber era, which by all appearances was also a giant chaotic mess because apparently none of these kids ever did anything that wasn’t. It was at this point that Nick finally started to have confirmed relationships with people who weren’t the same two girls over and over, so we can finally try out the relationship bullet points now.

At some point that couldn’t have been more than a couple months at most post-Nelena, in like mid-2010, Nick started dating Samantha Barks whom he met while they were preparing to star in the Les Mis 25th Anniversary Concert together. They were pretty quiet about it, and I was also hyperfixating on something non-JB at the moment and not super interested in general, so I’ve never known too much about this and am honestly not sure if there was even any more public info to know. As far as I remember this relationship was also not particularly long-lived, lasting like 5-6 months maybe, but also didn’t seem to involve any public drama which was a new and refreshing change for Nick.

I’m really fuzzy on the order here but somewhere in 2010, right around the time Jonas L.A. started airing and their characters were will-they-or-won’t-they-ing and then dating, it was rumored that Nick and Nicole Anderson were together. Most fans never believed this (I personally still don’t) as with the timing it seemed like a very obvious ploy for show publicity, but to this day there are some truthers out there who insist something happened between them. If it did then it must have either been very short-lived or overlapped with either Selena or Samantha, if not both – but by this point it was clear Baby Fuckboy Nick was no stranger to his relationships lowkey overlapping so honestly who fucking knows.

GUESS WHO’S BACK, BACK AGAIN. MILEY’S BACK, TELL A FRIEND. Niley 3.0, which happened in I want to say very early 2011, was Nick and Miley’s briefest and last obvious attempt at…something. It was never clear if they were really back together during this period or just hooking up or what, but they were definitely doing something notable enough to include here. (Bonus: Miley was definitely also still being messy with Liam, who by this point she’d also already been on-again off-again with like twice, at the exact same time as this all this was happening because of course she was. Why would any of these damn kids ever have had one unhealthy situationship going at a time when they could have two?) They were pretty quiet about things this time and I also still wasn’t paying super close attention, so I don’t remember much aside from a few spottings of them together and a lot of vague Twitter flirting, and it didn’t seem to last longer than a few months. ALSO there was a really weird incident during this time where the day after an event they both attended, where they were rumored to have been very flirty and left in the same car, several articles came out alleging that Nick and/or his car had been spotted outside Miley’s house that night or the next morning…and then all of these articles just disappeared all at once. Like they were literally scrubbed from the internet, leaving only some gossip site comments from the young fans who’d happened to see them (including me which is how I vividly remember this) as the only recorded evidence that they ever existed at all. The most accepted theory for this bizarre occurrence is that it was true, there were pictures that someone was threatening to publish, and Disney, not wanting to clean up a “purity ring-touting teenage star spends the night with girl he’s not even officially dating” scandal and beyond rich enough to take the hit, just paid everyone off to make the entire situation go away by gaslighting everyone who had seen the original articles. So. That was a thing that happened once.

In like spring 2011 Nick started dating Delta Goodrem, who at the time was 26 or 27 and very fresh out of a broken engagement with another grown ass adult while he was barely 18 with no relationship experience outside of at most a small handful of teenage girls around his age. This relationship always made me uncomfortable at the time and if anything makes me much more uncomfortable now that I’m an adult, so I intentionally did not follow it at all then and am not about to seek out any information about it now either. All I really know is that it did seem to be relatively short-lived, which I can only imagine was probably a good thing.

At some point in like 2012 or early 2013, Nick and Rita Ora were seen talking at a couple of events. They looked kind of flirty but I don’t recall anyone thinking there was anything to it beyond them maybe hooking up once until he namedropped her in the song What Do I Mean, seemingly implying she’d burned him in some way…but when Rita was asked about it, she said she was super confused by the song because they were always just friends and she had no idea he liked her. Apparently she confronted him about it and he admitted he must not have done a good job expressing his feelings, and I guess it was all some kind of weird misunderstanding between them that he...made no attempts to clarify with her before publicly calling her out in an angry song. Alright then?

Olivia Culpo showed up in I want to say mid-2013. For full disclosure I was already not super into Nick when their relationship started, and after he broke up the band and then picked up his solo frat boy Jealous persona that I was just very very not into – it reminded me of my controlling over-possessive ex and grossed me out – I pretty much completely lost interest in him and just stopped following him at all for a few years, so I honestly missed most of their relationship entirely. Mostly all I remember of Olivia is that she wasn’t well-liked in the fandom (at least not in the beginning when I was still paying attention) because she and her family and friends were…incredibly blatant about very much enjoying the attention that her dating Nick brought them, we’ll say, and also quickly developed a reputation for being rude to fans both in person and online. Nick largely seemed happy with her though and they lasted…around two years? I think? She presumably inspired much of his early solo discography and I’m pretty sure appeared in at least one music video. Again, creepy possessive solo Nick gave me the ick, so I wasn’t consuming any of this and only know what I picked up through osmosis while keeping up with the fandom just enough to somewhat keep tabs on Joe and Kevin. (I do vaguely remember seeing a lot of discussion among fans about Nick’s then-bestie Demi not seeming to like Olivia/being subtly snarky about her on multiple occasions, which…hoo boy we’ll get to all THAT in a minute.) I want to say they broke up at some point in 2015. I feel like there should be more things to note in this section considering I’m pretty sure this was his longest continuous relationship until his marriage, but if there are I simply am not the person to note them because I just truly don’t know crap about this era of Nick’s life.

Continuing on from that, there was still at least a good few years post-Nolivia where I wasn’t keeping up with Nick at all, so other than the next few bullet points (that I learned about mostly via keeping up with the other person involved and not him) I really have no clue what he was doing. At some point he was connected to Kendall Jenner, and then I think Kate Hudson??? I have zero idea when these relationships happened, how long either of them lasted, or if they were even relationships at all or just rumors I saw on my infrequent trips through Jonas Twitter. This is why I almost didn’t write a Nick timeline to begin with, because there’s this whole big chunk of time that I’m just blank on so there’s definitely stuff missing. Sorry.

GUESS WHO ELSE IS BACK! BACK AGAIN!!! In I want to say 2015 there was a super weird little moment where Nick and Selena hung out together at some event, looking a little flirty, and then like a few days later he dropped the horny song Area Code out of nowhere and liked a bunch of tweets implying it was about Selena. Clearly this led to nothing, so I can’t count whatever this was as Nelena 3.0, but it was still notable and also very funny so I’m including it anyway. Jury’s still out on if they hooked up that one night and the song was written in response or if they didn’t hook up but he wanted to and put the song out as a request to be booty called; I’m equally amused by it either way. Maybe a tiny bit of subtlety next time, Nicholas.

This is kinda out of order but while we’re talking about the Disney days rising from the dead, Miley also popped back up a few times in surprisingly recent years, especially every time she and Liam broke up because Nick was apparently still perfectly eager to be her back-up plan. I feel like roughly 2015 and early 2018 both had periods where those two were suddenly interacting much more than usual, mostly via social media flirting that made observant fans wonder if something else was going on in private. Obviously we have no way to really know if anything was actually happening or if Nick commenting heart emojis all over every pic she posted was an attempt to make something happen that went nowhere, but either way it’s still enough to include here. (Also I didn’t mention it when we were on 2012 but obligatory shoutout to Nick performing Wedding Bells for the first time after Miley got engaged, which was genuinely ballsy as hell and a lowkey insane thing to do. Gagged the absolute hell out of literally everyone.)

Okay, now we have to talk about Demi. No one truly knows what exactly happened between these two, and unless Demi one of them decides to spill the tea in a memoir or something someday we probably never will, but whatever happened was definitely notable enough to be listed here. Basically they were very close friends for a long time and over that time other feelings definitely developed on at least Demi’s part, which was long suspected but finally confirmed in I think late 2017 when she dropped the songs Ruin the Friendship and Only Forever – both of which were clearly and unsubtly about Nick (No I Can’t Keep Denying Every Minute I think of you!), despite her refusing to outright confirm this no matter how many interviewers bluntly brought it up. She also claimed that the person they were written about had written songs about her too; many theories exist about this to this day but, as far as I’m aware, no one knows for sure which of Nick’s songs are about Demi or if these alleged songs were ever even publicly released in the first place. I can’t remember if Nick ever publicly responded to this whole ‘my best friend just told the whole world she’s both in love with and horny for me’ scandal or not (I kind of want to say he just ignored all of it and acted like nothing ever happened lol which…valid way to deal with that situation, I guess) but they did seem to spend a bit less time together right after that and it’s often speculated to have been the beginning of the end for their friendship. I’m not sure when exactly things exploded but I remember she publicly complained about not being invited to his wedding in late 2018, after unfollowing him on social media I think weeks or months before; there was seemingly a bit of drama between her and the boys when she left their formerly-shared team/manager and they stayed; and by 2020 she said in an interview that she no longer kept in contact with any of the boys. Two unreleased Demi songs have leaked in the years since that seemed to add more context to their falling out: Ain’t No Friend, which basically said he betrayed or abandoned her when she needed him most, and Big Little Lies, which seemed to confirm that there was something romantic between them at some point, or at the very least that Nick had made empty promises of something romantic happening in the future, and also implied he didn’t tell her about his engagement before the public found out and…kind of confirmed that the news was hard for her (I don’t really want to touch this too much but a lot of speculation exists that Nick getting engaged and Demi almost fatally overdosing like a few days later were directly related events). As far as I can tell they still don’t seem to be on speaking terms today, or at least they never interact publicly despite Demi having positive public interactions with Joe and Kevin since then, but apparently she did go to the boys’ Remember This tour in 2021? So. There’s that I guess.

In what must have been like April 2018, there was a series of pap pics of Nick kissing some totally random girl in Australia or somewhere after he like helped her when she fell off her bike or something???? Idk. The whole thing was very strange and I remember a lot of people speculating that it must be staged bc both the pictures and the whole situation were just so bizarre. As far as I know the girl was never identified and never popped back up with Nick again. Also this was very literally the last thing I heard that Nick was up to until literally like two months later when I heard he was suddenly engaged to a completely different person, which was a fucking insane thing to experience. This man’s life is such an enigma.

Anyway in like summer 2018 he got engaged to Priyanka, who I guess he’d met at some previous time when I wasn’t looking, and then a few months later they got married and now they have a kid. There’s…not much else for me to say about that really lol. The fun of these things is truly in recounting the past messiness, not the current longterm relationship everyone already knows.

SO WE’RE FINALLY DONE! That was absolutely ridiculous and I should be ashamed to have spent so much time on it but here it is. This actually was a really good distraction when I needed it but please feel free to judge me for possessing all this useless knowledge regardless lmao

[dtupdates-archive]

♡—DREAM was active on Dream__Fanart (pt. 2)! He liked:

HAPPY NATIONAL DREAM DAY !!

very rushed but HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU BEAUTIFUL BOY !!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DREAM !! 🌟

– HAPPY BIRTHDAY DREAM ☹️💗

a 24 yr old grown ass man?🙅🏾‍♀️❌ a golden retriever puppy? ✅

HAPPY BIRTHDAY,WE LOVE YOUUU❤️❤️❤️❤️

birthday boy <3

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DREAM BOY ❕❕

Life is but a dream 💚✨

We love u too! 🌼 Happy Birthday, Dream :)

Happy 24th birthday Dream!! 🎉💚

✨💚Twitch con💚✨

“A different kind of love.” 💚🧡💙

ITS HIS BIRTHDAY CAN YOU HEAR MEEE!!!!

Happy bday @.Dream__Fanart!!! I hope u have an awesome day :)🫶🏻 I made this lil animation for u hehe

Feliz cumpleaños Dream =)

I DIDNT FINISH MY DREAM BIRTHDAY ART BUT HERES A CUTE WALLPAPER I MADE FOR THE DRUPDATES KUDOBOARD FOR DREAMIES BIRTHDAY!

happy birthday dreamie ❤️ thank you for everything :)

HAPPY B-DAY DREAM!! ⭐

happy birthday dreamieee! the sweetwest and prettiest boy ever <3

HAPPY BIRTHDAY @.Dream!!

happy birthday Dream🫠

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DREAM!! 🥳🎊

Happy birthday Dreamie!! 💚💚

Happy birthday dream we all love you so much!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DREAM!! 🎉🎉💚💚

IT'S HIS DAY‼️🥳

happy birthday dream!!! 💚🎂

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DREAM

Happy birthday Dream!! Some birthday fanart + other random sketches :]

Happy Birthday Dream!! 🎉🎂 We love you <3

Happy birthday Dream !

Happy birthday dream <3

Happy birth to the birth boy Dream, I hope you have a great day!

This is a remake of an old edit i made but with irl pics HAPPY BIRTHDAY DREAM!

HAPPY DREAM DAY!! :)) love u dreamie

Happy Birthday Dream!!

Happy Birthday Dream :D Space Dream ☆

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DREAM <33 I love you so so much

HAPPY 24TH BIRTHDAY DREAMM!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DREAM!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DREAM!! i love you so much.

[hellsvestibule]

I love when someone likes a random ass pic I’ve kind of forgotten about bc it’s several years old and I’m still like oh yeah, that IS a good picture, thank you for reminding me

[pondering-gales-left-orb]

I can never take fandom discourse seriously because besides sounding like abunch of 12 year olds yelling at a random person about the most rancid takes known to man just because they dared to express a normal opinion, if you go on thier blog and try to scroll to find the source of it you will almost always find they reblog normal ass posts in between like (as an example from the bg3 fandom )

-reply post to a long 27deep reblog discourse about if its deranged to have sex with halsin in bear form :YOU ARE A FUCKING DISGUSTING BITCH FOR EVEN JUSTIFYING THIS AND IM NOT READING ALL THAT I SAID WHAT I SAID AND IM RIGHT

- a reblog of pic of a cute dog

- reply post to a long 25 deep reblog discourse about if its deranged to have sex with halsin in bear form :WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE HARKNESS TEST THATS NOT REAL DO YOU HAVE NO MORALS YOU DERANGED ASS HOW DARE YOU SAY THATABOUT HALSIN I ALREADY WANNA PUNCH THE DEVS FOR ALLOWING THIS

- a reblog of flower meadow with a girl wearing a white dress frolcking with a #me #peace as tags

-reply post to a long 23 deep reblog discourse about if its deranged to have sex with halsin in bear form : I CANT BELIVE YOU RIGHT NOW HOW DARE YOU EVEN THINk ABOUT HALSINS THING AFTER ALL HE WENT THROUGH LET ALONE HIS BEAR FORM DOING- DOING- THAT!!!!

-reblog of a graphic that talks about acceptance and tolerance

And on the other side:

- reply post to a long 26 deep reblog discourse of someone who thinks its immoral to have sex with halsin: *a very well thought out paragraph about why people of all kinds of traumas deserve to be loved and given the choice to choose how he expresses his own desires and sexuality*

- a reblog of a fan art of Halsin with his entire cock out

- reply post to a long 24 deep reblog discourse about if its deranged to have sex with halsin in bear form : * a link to the explanation to what the harkness test is * *well thought out comparisons to werewolves and that trope* *another good piece explaning fiction and fantasy are not real*

- a reblog of a really hot pic of karlach with added caption: i haeve coevid

- reply post to a long 22 deep reblog discourse about if its deranged to have sex with halsin in bear form : i just dont understand why are you so upset over me saying " i cant stop thinking about halsin and his romance scene and how nervous he was when he lost control and changed to a bear how many times have people chastised him for that? My tav will always accept him in all his forms Its okay bby come here i'll take you and your bear if you know what i mean 😏" this really didnt need to become all this go touch some grass.

- reblog of te same cute pic of a dog from earlier with key smash as a tag

How the hell am i supposed to take anything seriously when everything is like this on here fhdjdbdjd

[milf-harrington]

Hi! I'm really sorry step dad's still an ass- your annoyance is very justified- but I just wanted to ask: are you currently making/ have a battle/patch jacket? If yes could we see some pics for inspo? I've been meaning to finally get started on mine for a while and I love seeing what other people do!

💞

kia ora!! i am currently making a battle jacket, it's not come that far yet because i don't want to stick anything down until i have more patches and shit but i can lay out what i do have and show you, it's just not very impressive yet:

the fabrics on the side are things i might add later on but idk yet, i'm very fond of the old plaid tho - also yeah im sewing sequins under the collar.

it has been,,,,a process.

sequins because i like them, and they're also a nod to rocky horror

the rainbow for lgbt reasons and also it's cute af

the orange pin says 'stop the violence' which is for domestic violence

the smaller black pin says "wake up, coffee, repeat" and was a birthday present from my 18th

trans flag pin

a little jar with stars in it, a birthday present from my 20th

the ponyo patch was a random gift from a friend who saw it and thought i'd like, she was right, ponyo rocks

the oamaru patch from when i visted my family in aotearoa and my cousin took me to the steam punk museum (oamaru also has a lot of history for my family)

i have a list in my notes app of random ideas i get for pins/patches so i recommend making your own bc it really does help down the line if you ever find yourself Head Empty about what to add; i'm also happy to give updates whenever i do add to my jacket if that's something you're interested in?

OH I ALSO HAVE THESE PATCH PANTS - i made them when i was like,, 17?? 16?? they might help too:

plaid that i spent a ridiculous amount of time hand-sewing onto the waist band bc i love the pattern

"i am a monster. i am a monster. i am a monster. i am a monster. i am a monster. hate me. destroy me.", a frank iero reference

ACAB for,, obvious reasons i think

a shitty little painting of Korse from the Danger Days comics with "this man ate my son" written underneath it which was a reference to a silly fan comic that i barely remember now

a painting for 'our lady of sorrows', an mcr reference

"THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS IS A FUCKING RIGHT"

the hesitant alien mascot, a lovely little creature named Lola, holding a sign that says "be kind" that i painted on the floor of my bedroom

my jeans were pretty much entirely a diy project bc i didn't have the money or the resources to buy actual patches, but they were really fun to put together

[oracle-phantasmagorical-blog]

Kind of a throwaway post:

Watched You're Getting Old/Ass Burgers for the first time yesterday and Stan really hit home, except I luckily did what Stan was going to do and separated and got better with a new life.

I think Stan is really interesting as a character, along with Kyle as they're sort of the same side of the coin and all that jazz. I've been wanting to do a character study and I actually discovered flipturn on the same day I watched ep and I love them.

I've seen so many awesome mood boards on here of all the characters and Stan and Kyle just embodied the July Moon/August Sun archetype mentioned in one of the bands songs. Also the July Moon is the Buck Moon- representing the life cycle of a deer's horns where they break and grow back stronger to where they are in their glory in July. Call me crazy but-

This all concludes to this: I want to write a Highschool!Band!Au set after You're Getting Old, but Sharon, Shelly, and Stan move away instead of Randy because I think that makes more since (they're getting a fresh start and Sharon seems like the one to try and get a new view to help her kids especially with Stan's depression idk, I know Randy tends to do new stuff too, but he seems more set in his ways than Sharon sometimes, they really be flipping back and forth). A few years pass and both Kyle and Stan have changed a lot and haven't spoken in forever, but there's some kind of cheesy South Park School Sports Day where other kids come and I imagine Stan would play with his band or maybe a State Talent Competition not sure yet. I'm just heavily influenced by those heartfelt/comedy highschool dramas like Heartstopper and Sex Education, sorry.

Basically Style centered but I'm not sure if it's necessarily romantic at this point- just really wanted to write something about both of their psyches and a sort of coming of age story about growing up, making new friends, and reconciling with old ones- all while it being a love note to flipturn, July/August, and getting older

Would anyone be interested in something like that? It's still something I'm going to work on because I'm hyper fixated, but let me know :)

-The pics are not mine, taken from random moodboards, thanks!

[run2max]

Super random post but I got to see Ateez in LA and I’m just feeling very thankful for kpop as a whole. More under the cut if you want to read my cringy ass ramble about this genre :] also, let me know if you happen to fall into the super specific niche of kpop stan and F1 lover, let’s be friends!

I started listening in middle school and had a very long hiatus due to 1D (no regrets 1D4LIFE) and got back into it my freshman year of college, I’ve now been actively stanning groups for nearly five years and really have gained so many beautiful friendships and gotten introduced to such amazing artists because of it.

Ateez is one of those groups that have been with me since 2019 and I can’t explain the feeling of being able to see a group that I’ve seen grow before my eyes and grow WITH me LIVE IN CONCERT!!!!!! I’ve never had a concert depression like this before!!!! It was so fun to dress up, be in a space where everyone was down to be crazy and scream about these boys, and just overall participate in this community!!!

I took a bit of time off from kpop ever since BTS's hiatus because I miss their group activities so much, but this trip to LA + rehashing of my obsession with Ateez has CHANGED MEEEEE (hahaha i know very silly)!!!!

I sometimes feel discouraged from participating in kpop spaces bc I'm kind of old (just turned 24 lmfao) and that's geriatric to a lot of kpop stans 😭😂 I worry I'm being creepy by enjoying new groups but I realized recently its not that deep I think!!!! I truly just love this kind of music, the visuals, the dancing, etc, and to me kpop is so much more than the individual members of a group!!!

My kpop setup now!!!! I’ve never had a dedicated space for this stuff but I have finally accumulated enough albums to make a cute lil stack!!! Missing is BTS BE and MOTS:7, stuffed somewhere in my college dorm stuff that I never unpacked lol, RM’s Right Place, Wrong Person bc I forgot to add it before the pic, and the Chk Chk and Boom versions of SKZ’s ATE!! That pic of Namjoon is from their 2021 Season’s Greetings, which was my first kpop merch ever!! I like to say it’s my military wife photo hehe. That’s my number one man he’s my ride or die my forever and always in sickness and in health and I mean that 🗣️ my Seonghwa picket is now my most prized possession, so pretty!!!!!

Setting this up has also made me realize that I have quite a sizable photo card collection at this point! Thinking of getting a binder and sleeves to keep them organized! Lmk if you’d like to see my collection!

Peep my Lego McLarens and my RB 16! Lego Mercedes is off to the side, just haven’t built it yet!

I have a metric tone of posters to put up, will post when I get around to that.

Anywaaaayyyy, if you read this far, you’re a real one seriously, thanks for listening!

🩵🤍🩵🤍🩵🤍🩵🤍🩵🤍🩵🤍🩵🤍🩵🤍🩵🤍

[mxkokopuff]

🐶🗒💯

🐶 — any pets?

my precious and incredibly annoying old man muttley!! he's a lakeland terrier and an absolute terror bc of it-- but i love him- here be a pic

🗒 — what is/are your favorite genre(s)/theme(s) to write?

I don't write too much outside of rp.. But I love fantasy stuff. Like outside of final fantasy I love, sci-fi fantasy, cyberpunkish fantasy, whatever style of fantasy rwby is (my other adhd obsession outside of ffxiv-)

💯 — share three random facts about yourself that your mutuals may not know about you.

I have.. an embarassing amount of pens, markers, art supplies, etc. From when I used to do more traditional art. I never got rid of any- Help me- In the same vein as this, I used to scrapbook a lot and still have a whole ass DRAWER full of washi tape and stickers-

I love RWBY. Outside of FFXIV it's my other main obsession and love. I have a bunch of RWBY ocs and it's my biggest inspiration bc of monty oum (rest in peace). I just don't dare interact with the fandom.. It's awful there-

Outside the online world I'm actually a freelance/budding character designer and character modeller! I'm in the midst of searching for my next gig but you can check out my work here if you like! I also have commissions open.. Kind of a shameless self plug, But Character Fesign is a HUGE passion of mine<3

[yungviry]

Today I’m feeling a bit off, just in general. I’m sitting here in this random ass parking lot just thinking over the last few years I’ve had and my romantic experiences. Not very many of you ask me. Some would argue and say the contrary but in terms of actual romance, I’ve only had a handful of partners. Just now I was thinking about my first boyfriend, a mere 8 month relationship, and still get a bit tear jerked by it. Not necessarily in the sense that I miss him, more so with the words he left with me. Right after we broke up he called me a slut. Said something about me just fucking anyone and everything. I’m not the kind of person to fight with someone when it’s pointless, I merely will stay quite and agree. No energy exerted, no satisfaction. But it stuck with me. I am just a slut, I will just fuck anyone. And for about a year or two I proved him right. Accumulating bodies just for the sake of smoking with a cute face. Giving myself up to dudes that only wanted pussy and I only wanted weed and penis. I was asking strangers to send dick pics to scope them out and then arranging to meet if it was worth the ride.

I’m not going to lie, I did have fun to an extent. Unfortunately it was only when I built a relationship, similar to a friendship with the men I fucked. I knew none of them were relationship worthy, but the ‘platonic’ nature of their likelihood made it addicting. I enjoyed the thought of having friends I could dump myself into. These friendships served as a way for me to express my feelings and worries, literally from the one relationship I had experienced. I was upset what can I say. I loved getting to retell my escapades to my homies. They indulged in them as much as I did. Men love to hear all the nitty gritty like the ladies do.

I do miss some of my old chums, one in particular. Had we’d been better about communicating ourselves maybe we’d still be cool. Has probably my most loyal rump buddy for the longest. I appreciated his honesty and vulnerability at times. He had his own difficulties in life, and was comfortable mentioning some with me. I saw him get his own place, move up the ladder in his work, get a new car. Most definitely he was a slut, but so was I. And I appreciated how free he was about it too. Had he not been a bitch I really do think we could have been some kind of friends. Just something to get off the chest for right now.

[loverboybitch]

no its crazy like i actually just am a bad friend lol. telling that twice since the new year two different people who used to be my best friends hit me up cause we havent talked in like actual years cause i STAY on my hermit shit and i never hang out with people unless they ask me to. littel dumb goblin guy with no brain truly.//.