#this is the reason i have remained on the hellsite

[abracadav-r]

[thebibliosphere]

I just saw a baffling tweet on the other blue hellsite (link), and I clicked through to read the rest of the tweet where the agent claims, among other things, that indie authors sell maybe a max of 200 books, if they're lucky.

This was baffling to me because I know indie authors who sell into the thousands, myself included.

Anyway, I went to go check on my sales numbers on Amazon --not including all the other distributors I use -- and Hunger Pangs: True Love Bites, a book that no mainstream publisher or agent wanted without drastically altering the story (they wanted to remove the disability and give it a love triangle lmao) outsold the NYT bestseller requirement by several thousand in the first opening week.

For context, to be considered for the NYT bestseller list, you need to sell roughly 5000 copies in a week.

Like, I know I'm Spiders George in this instance, thanks to Tumblr, but the fact that sales have remained consistent even though I do the absolute bare minimum marketing would imply there is something about it that people want to read.

But y'know. No mainstream publisher wants Hunger Pangs. So it must be unsellable, and I should really "look within" and "make the necessary changes."

Like worstie, you're talking about having the "clout" of mainstream publishing, when most of my tradpub friend sales come from gremlins like me reblogging their work at breakneck speed because none of you fuckers bother to do any marketing anymore.

There are many reasons traditional publishing houses don't pick up authors, and sometimes it's because tradpub are fucking idiots.

[opalvatter]

We know that Skarra has a niece (btw, a complete badass, mind you) which means that he has siblings. And family. And had a life before soccer.

Now, I can't even imagine him having a good family, because that wouldn't have enough angst, soo...

Skarra's Family Headcannons

His family comes from a long line of Business related jobs.

His father was an Administrator and his mother was a Banker, so he grew up in a typical, conservative, middle-class family. However, both of them dreamed to open a business and crave lavish lives, which meant they weren't around most of the time and were quite neglectful.

He has an older sister by 8 years( Who I'm gonna call Nina for now), who took up their family values and became the perfect child, who got perfect grades and did everything that was expected of her, repressing her own emotions, a classic case of older sister syndrome (yes, yes, she is a representation of me i could help myself)

However, during their younger years, their parents favored Skarra over his sister, thus straining their relationship.

When he was younger, he wasn't allowed to play most sports, instead being forced to study and get perfect grades.

He and Shakes met at the community center, where Skarra went for extra classes. Skarra's family didn't like Shakes and tried to separate them when they were younger. The first time he saw Shakes's family, Skarra almost started crying.

By the time he was 13, his rebellious face started to kick in, and with Shakes coaxing him, he started to sneak out anytime he could. That was when he discovered football and started to fall in love with it.

He secretly joined their town football team at 15, all while keeping up a studious appearance to his family. This was also around the time he discovered he was gay.

Eventually, he got tired of keeping up the double act and had a big fight with his parents, coming clean. Appaled at their son's behaviour, they kicked him out.

His sister, Nina, became the favorite (depressed) child, majored in Buisness and got unhapily married to a CEO, having a single child with him.

Skarra tried to remain hopeful, but when he wasn't even invited to his sister's wedding, his last straw broke and he became fully dedicated to football, wanting to prove them all wrong.

many years passed, and Skarra became a famous soccer star.

One day he got a phone call from his sister, asking if she could come see him. He reluctantly agreed, kinda sorta hoping that she changed.

Turns out, after their parents died in a car crash, she divorced her husband and put their child in a boarding school, finally living her life the way she wanted to.

Skarra was happy for her, until she started talking about her daughter. She was very clearly neglecting her child, and Skarra got mad, blowing up on her.

She too, got angry and revealed that the only reason she wanted to meet him was so that she could convince him to take in her child whenever the boarding school was on break.

Skarra agreed, only to save his niece from the same treatment he had to go through.

His 7 year old niece, dee (everyone on this hellsite call her that so lets go with it) is much too similar to Skarra, that he almost cried when he saw her the first time.

He may be an asshole, but he still has an heart. He tries to take care of her, to the best of her abilities, and shield her from most of the trauma he had.

I couldn't think of anything else for now, but I might add something later on. If any of you have any different ideas, comment them, i want to see :)

[doctorofmagic]

TW: racism, antiziganism, whitewashing, uses of g slur, fatphobia, misgendering, ageism, toxic fandom, long post.

This post is a bit off topic but, as someone who has been following Marvel’s comic book industry for almost ten years now, I feel like it’s my duty to use my voice and not be quiet about the blatant shit show that is happening to a character that is also a member of the magic community and has been suffering a lot lately in the hands of people who have little to no regard towards her heritage.

It was just a rumor back then (and Donny Cates even denied it in the past) but it does seem that Feige is using the MCU to influence comic books in most recent runs, ESPECIALLY regarding certain characters.

Now, let’s be honest. This is not new. We all remember when the cast of the Fantastic Four reboot died in a explosion in the pages of Punisher #12, eight years ago. A clear retaliation at the movie and FOX’s terrible decisions. We all know that this is probably the reason why the first family book was cancelled as well. The group remained in the shadows and only Reed had a decent spotlight thanks to New Avengers v3 and Secret Wars, disappearing next along with Sue, the kids and the Future Foundation. They only returned fully with a new volume in 2018, and most fans’ dreams and hopes slowly died out with Dan Slott’s bad takes and writing (erasing Franklin’s X gene, putting three women to fight over a man, reversing Infamous Doom to his villain self and throwing away his character development just because he wanted Victor as a villain etc etc etc).

Very well. Still, the FF survived. No one reversed Galactus into a cosmic cloud. No one turned Victor into a metallic guy with electric powers who wanted to marry Sue (thank the Vishanti). And whatever happened in the reboot (which I didn’t watch) certainly wasn’t adapted into comics.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not here to gatekeep comic books. In fact, I’ve been committed to introducing them to my followers since day 1 on this hellsite. Unlike many fans, I didn’t grow up with them. Movies had a huge influence on me and I had a long journey. Movies and animated TV shows are part of the reason I dove into this universe, in the first place. Which is fine. I can take a bad adaption and move on.

What I can’t take is what they’re trying to do with Wanda, because it reeks of racism.

The whole point of this new Wanda volume is to give her the proper representation and atone for the years of colorism, a systematic problem that keeps happening in the industry. Just because she was portrayed as white in the past, it doesn’t mean she’s not a woc, especially when it’s said in canon that she has dark skin. There are plenty of roma people talking on this matter and how it’s meaningful to acknowledge that Wanda is brown, even when white roma people exist (1, 2, 3, 4).

The crew is in fact very committed to it, as stated by Steve Orlando here:

Now, what is happening to the new Scarlet Witch volume? Two things. The blatant whitewashing in variant covers and their need to push the MCU into 616!Wanda, first by introducing Darcy and now deaging Agatha.

Let’s be clear. There was a MASSIVE effort from the team to portray Wanda's heritage, which has been constantly dismissed by the lack of effort from the artists.

Here’s one example, from Jeehyung Lee, tracing what I think is a k-pop singer (but I don't really remember her name so correct me if I’m wrong). In any case, she was traced over a korean woman. This is not the first problem with this artist since he also made the same with Storm’s model in MFF by tracing Charlize Theron over Ororo.

In addition to anti-blackness, this is also an issue of interchangeable ethnicity, the same that happened to America Chavez, when she’s established as Puerto Rican, not Mexican, as the pin on her jacket suggests (and yes, her cast is also filled with anti-blackness. Nothing against Xochitl, but I touched this matter before when I wrote about DSIMOM. And yes, TAO’s MCU is also bad, very bad, very very very bad).

I just keep seeing this over and over again. You shouldn't be defending her whiteness. You *SHOULDN'T*. Unless you have a problem that Wanda is a brown romani woman. It’s imperative that people understand that representation matters and poc have been time and time whitewashed in this very same industry (Sunspot/Roberto da Costa is just one example and was also whitewashed in that terrible New Mutants adaptation).

The issue here is to push a problematic and harmful portrayal of Wanda on her comic book version. And it’s only happening to her due to the popularity of said character and artist.

More thant that, her stans ARE using Olsen’s Wanda to shield racism. Some of you are actually not even hiding it. The following is a list of racist comments and accounts. I’ll leave them under the cut in case people don’t want to see it.

Regarding the WV variant cover for Wanda #3 by David Nakamura:

And plain racism overall:

On a side note...

Just today I was harassed by this troll here. And no, I’m not hiding your @ because you went to MY post and felt compelled to misgender me, be fatphobic and also god knows why felt entitled to call Wanda ableist (????)

As I said, I didn’t grow up with comics. When I first met Wanda, I didn’t know she was neither Roma, Jewish or brown. And this itself is a problem because it should be clear, it should have been portrayed in the comics, it should have been common knowledge. All it takes is just to listen to people and understand the systematic racism and whitewashing in the comic book and cinema industries.

They ALWAYS double down on Wanda’s whiteness. No, darling, it’s not okay to stan two versions of the same character when time and time the marginalized one is a target of racism. When they weaponize every single attempt at calling out the harm that MCU has caused on her character to the point of even using reverse racism, ableism and many other blatant lies to slander 616!Wanda, when her MCU can do pretty much whatever she wishes because she’s white so that’s okay. And don’t even dare bring feminism here because you don’t care about woc. You only care about white women.

In any case, I just want to shed light on this matter because this effort of pushing MCU into comics isn’t happening to any other Marvel character, ESPECIALLY when the change is for the better. Wong is powerful, body-positive and having more than one-dimensional relationship in the MCU. Where’s the effort to do that in comics? Layla is literally the best part of Moon Knight. Where is she?

Why they want so bad to push a white woman on a book that is supposed to praise Wanda’s romani heritage? It’s obvious that they want to sell and some execs are siding with the portion of this toxic and racist fandom.

Comics are not perfect, we know that. But there has been a huge effort to support the marginalized voices in this industry. Marvel’s Voices, pride and heritage are all examples. Besides, they’ve always been political. Always.

What they’re doing to Wanda is evil and lazy. As an artist and colorist, it’s YOUR DUTY to search and at least be aware of what characters you’re trying to conceive. There’s no way variant artists didn’t see the main cover for issue #1 by Dauterman.

This is not just ignorance. It’s a statement. A statement that it’s okay to ignore a marginalized group and its attempt to give visibility to said group. And Orlando knew that when he said he didn’t have control over the rest of the creative team.

It’s fine if the MCU wants to push some elements like they did in the past. But this is not just any element. It’s harmful and I’ll not be quiet about it. 616!Wanda is getting more and more marginalized, whereas her whitewashed version is praised and loved. And now there’s an attempt at reconciling both as if it was okay. It’s not. MCU!Wanda doesn’t know racism. MCU!Wanda joined Hydra. MCU!Wanda has the privilege 616!Wanda could never afford for being a brown roma woman. And now the racist fandom wants to claim both in order to erase 616!Wanda’s heritage and history of fighting racism.

All I can ask is, if you’re buying this comic book, DO NOT SUPPORT the variant covers. Let them rot. We know the racists are not supporting the book anyways. They’ll just buy the variant cover and that’s it.

PS: I’m not Roma so feel free to correct me in any aspect. Just using my voice to boost awareness.

PS²: Olsen stans DNI or else will be blocked at sight. I’m done with every single of you.

[aerodaltonimperial]

Another trip around the sun for me, and I gotta be sappy on main, fam (I'm tired, kiddo woke me up at 4:45): the last year was really hard for me, for a variety of reasons, but chiefly among them, I decided to step away from writing, which is one of the only things I've ever really wanted to do with my life. After more than a decade, I remained a colossal failure, and it was eroding my mental health to the point of no return. But y'all make me feel like my writing isn't shit. Y'all legitimately make me feel like my words matter, like I matter. And I can't express how much this has helped me to find joy in writing again. I will probably never actually be successful, but you are reading my stupid, silly stories, and they have mattered to at least one person, and in the midst of a spectacular crash and burn that was my hopes and dreams (lol), y'all on this hellsite welcomed me every day with flailing and keysmashing and encouragement, and it has meant the fucking world to me. So thanks for being here, thanks for letting me spew bullshit on you every single day, and I hope this year I can continue to subject you to even more of my words. ❤️❤️❤️ Legit cannot express how everyone here has been part of me clawing just a little way further out of my miserable hole in the ground. Thanks, fam. 🥰

[tokidokifish]

honestly rn i'm not here for the "i'm on tumblr until the end/i'll go down w the ship" memes any longer. i've been on this hellsite for well over a decade and i have remained through every stupid fucking decision management has made but the ongoing behavior of the goddamn ceo of this company disgusts me. the fact he is ALLOWED to continue this without so much as someone grabbing his stupid hands and pulling him away from a keyboard, and that transwomen and anyone else that dares speak up against his behavior are still being banned for bullshit reasons, is simply beyond the pale, and proves that if there's anyone on that moderation team that cares about trans users, they have no power. it is a fucking unacceptable state of being, and so no, i am no longer on tumblr "until the end". i am on tumblr until literally the instant i find a viable alternative, and then i am goddamn leaving, because we all deserve better than this.

[basilone]

I was tagged by @onehelluvamarine, ty! 💚

A band you don’t like that many others do:

Coldplay. I am absolutely mesmerized by how popular they are, because every single song of theirs I’ve ever heard gets on my last nerve.

A childhood memory that you remember vividly:

I used to do ballet and got to perform in a huge theatre once. I remember hanging out backstage, watching the older dancers, getting to see what the lighting crew was doing… It was a brilliant time, though the hassle to get hair and make-up done had a lot of people yelling and losing the plot. (I learned how to do stage make-up myself when I was a lil older, partially because that’s how you roll in drama classes but also because of that experience hahaha!)

Least favorite animal and why:

Listen. Listen to me. We do not need lightbulb fish. We do not need them. We do not require their presence in our waters.

Hot fandom take:

Do you know how many hot takes can fit in me? It’s a lot. I’m going to go with two hot takes because it’s my party and y’all have never ever seen me post one to this blog before.

Numero uno: readerfic is not OC fic, OC fic is not readerfic. If you name your character, it’s an OC. Even if you write them in first or second person POV. If you write Y/N, it’s readerfic no matter how much backstory you try to chuck at it. Learn to tag it properly. A fic cannot have both the canon character/OC and canon character/reader tags. Please do my last remaining pieces of sanity a favor and don’t make me read Y/N with my own two eyeballs just because you mistagged your fic.

Numero two: smut belongs under the cut. I don’t make the rules. If you start your fic with smut of any kind, put it under a readmore. Especially do this if that smut contains highly specific kinks. Aside from the fact that there are minors on this website who’ve got no business being subjected to that, people should be given the choice whether they want to see that level of smut on their daily newspaper dashboard scrollthrough first thing in the morning.

Do you wear any jewelry, if so, what’s your favorite piece:

I do, though not all the time. One of my fave pieces is a small ring with an eight-pointed star that I wear on my pinky finger.

A movie others liked but you didn’t:

Titanic. I know it’s got many many many fans, but I was cheering that iceberg on.

Three things you love about yourself:

My creativity, my ability to switch gears and learn on the fly, and my hair that does whatever I want it to do.

A place you hope to visit in the future and why:

Dude, have you seen the state of the world lately? I think I’m just gonna hope to visit my bed later on today, much safer.

An actor that gets on your nerves and why:

I have Tom Cruise blacklisted on this hellsite for good reason. The good reason being that I think he’s batshit and that people should stop entertaining his presence in anything. I’m not drinking that cult juice, thanks.

Things you’re excited for in the nearby future?

My birthday’s coming up on Feb 9!

Least favorite ship in a fandom you’re in:

At the risk of getting utterly disowned by a good number of folks that follow me: Webgott. I have gone for an outing or two in this ship, if memory serves me correctly, and I think I understand why people like it. I love banter in a ship as much as the next person, and the push-pull of opposites can be fun. But I also think Lieb deserves a lot more than someone who’s fundamentally at odds with his life and his POV. I think that the discussion they have in that final ep is indicative of something so major that it is a dealbreaker in that ship. (Plus, Web is just… not my fave character. Putting this mildly.)

What’s the most toxic fandom you’ve been in?

Vikings. Hands down, no contest. Absolute toxic cesspool of lies, backstabbing, and badmouthing. There are a few very good reasons why I’m no longer on speaking terms with people I used to call friends (at least one of whom was also in our lovely little war fandom back in the day) and why I’ve all but given up on doing any new gifsets or writing in that fandom for the foreseeable future.

List three things you find beautiful about life:

I’m gonna all caps this like a particularly obnoxious internet citizen because !! important !!

HAVE YOU SEEN OUR UNIVERSE DO YOU HAVE TIME TO TALK ABOUT THE STARS

MUSIC

THAT MOMENT WHEN YOU’RE LAUGHING WITH PEOPLE YOU LOVE AND YOU REALIZE THERE’S NOWHERE IN THE WORLD YOU’D RATHER BE THAN IN THAT EXACT MOMENT

Any dreams for the future?

I just want to live a life that’s good. I don’t really do future plans or dreams, it’s all vibes. I will know the move I need to make in the moment it needs making. Everything else is confetti.

How are you really feeling today?

Tired! (She says while about to embark on a screencap-to-gif journey. You might note the tiredness by the fact that I have completely lost my filter somewhere down the line of answering these questions, lol.)

Tags:

lmao I feel like half this fandom got tagged already and I’m very shit at remembering usernames and who likes tagging games sooooo. uhm. ain’t tagging anybody today.

[kyra45]

This is kind of sad but I think I know what's going on. You posted some harassing anons, and people blocked you maybe because they didn't want to see things like that (based on how somesone said not to post that content untagged,) then someone sent rude asks and now you're attributing it to one person who blocked you. Do you know how many other people blocked you? What evidence do you even actually have that proves they're connected to the asks? I blocked you too! You say you're trying to avoid drama or smearing other people but you're just making passive aggressive remarks trying to smear them like a concern troll, truly despicable, rethink your life.

I've been following you on another blog for a while, and it's very obvious what the url is because you've been posting their posts left and right for days. And if sending an ask telling you my thoughts is "harassment" just because it's calling you out on something you've done that isn't nice, I don't know what to say, holy crap. What.

The only reason I'm still here is because I'm scared you're going to call me out for blocking you too. And the whole "please don't harass them" after practically spelling out their name (what other blog calls themselves "scam archive" that has interacted with you?) is like putting a pile of meat in the middle of a pack of dogs and expecting them not to lunge for it. It's fake kindness. It's like people making callouts and telling people "don't harass them", it never works lol. Now I'm really mad lol, christ. I was expecting better from this blog.

Literally know that and read it, the emphasis is on NOT REPLYING. Takes half a second to delete the messages as they come in. You're feeding and enabling them and they're getting a laugh out of it.

But sure, I’m lying about the asks I got that made me cut ties with someone. I even had the original post not rebloggble because I didn’t want it to go anywhere.

Before the last ask, I was literally told “Saying you can’t do anything is learned helplessness” when i had explained:

1. My stalker uses a VPN

2. VPN’s get around blocks

3. My stalker can/will make multiple accounts to send me asks even if I’ve continue ignoring/blocking them

I am also making this post not rebloggable but apparently I’m ‘lying’ and acting ‘suspicious’ just because the whole situation made me extremely uncomfortable and I don’t like discussing it to people using anonymous. These asks only stopped when I blocked someone and no more has been sent since. While I can’t say for sure it was who I think it was, I remain clear when I say don’t harass them. I’m still doing what I do here.

But don’t you dare come here and dismiss what I went through and accuse me of something. They talked to me and all they did was call me a child and blame me for harassment towards them when I don’t condone anyone sending it. I’m not a child. But if the harassment is that bad then I’m sorry but I’m not telling people to go harass anyone in any fashion and it’s not my fault if someone does it. If they say I sent them their lying and I make it quite clear that no one should be getting harassed just because I talk about them.

Do you think people will publicly admit to sending someone anon hate on this hellsite? No. Because we all know what would end up happening.

[feaftlikeabeaft]

I genuinely think @staff’s big mistake (or trick, depending on how you want to look at it) is pretending like growing your blog is a zero sum game where everyone is out to be the biggest and the best. 

What they are saying is that introducing algorithmic content will allow smaller users to spread their posts more widely by getting the algorithm to give them the first step on the ladder, which gives them a bigger slice of the pie.

What they’re missing is that Tumblr doesn’t work like that.

1. No one is trying to be the biggest or the best. What we’re trying to do is curate a small circle of users (a community, a group, a collab, whatever).

2. Lots of “big” blogs regularly reblog from “small” blogs. I’d even guess that most blogs are more reblogs than original posts.

3. To reiterate, it’s not a zero sum game. One user’s blog being bigger than another doesn’t mean they’re sucking up some sort of precious resource from the other. You might think at first glance that the bigger blog is somehow hoarding all the followers but... people can follow multiple blogs and big blogs reblog from smaller ones all the time. So it remains the case that following a new blog (big or small) will likely lead you to new ones.

4. No one wants to have every user on the site following their blog. Maybe if you’re on YouTube or Twitter, you might want that if you want the fame, attention, and money that comes with it. Here, we actively curate our feed (what input we recieve) and our audience (who gets our output). Bigger isn’t better because we want is a community of like-minded people. That might limit a blog’s growth severely because there are certain users that the owner of the blog doesn’t want to interact with. On this site, that’s ok.

5. Think of it like a fungal network, to paraphrase a famous post. Each blog is a node in the network than can reach out and connect with others. Thanks to the lack of an algorithm and no tangible reason to get too big, we can create strong connections and bonds as we reach through the soil (our blessed hellsite) to make contact with others. Yet these networks are limited and they can be purposefully isolated from each other. This is ok, as we all know that diversity in the soil is best for its longterm health. We could all try to regress into one big mass but we’d suck the soil dry of nutrients. Does that make sense or should I have dropped the fungus metaphor? Basically, I’m saying that @staff is making it sound like we’re all trees competing for light and space while in reality we’re funky lil mushrooms

6. Every other site has an algorithm. This one doesn’t. I am here and not elsewhere because I don’t like algorithms. You do the math.

[lovelyhan]

What are your mutual awards?

i'm so sorry it took me so a while to get to this ㅠㅠ partly bc i suck at thinking of cutesy awards to hand to my mutuals but here we go anyway~

p.s. i'm an actual Sap that says way too much so i'm hiding all this under a cut 🧍‍♀️

@hwanghyunjinenthusiast — i'm giving you the #1 hypeman award bc you're always so supportive of all the writers in the community 💘 literally every time i see your feedback towards both mine and other ppl's fics i smile a little bc u'll always be part of the reason why people would want to stay and do what they love doing on this hellsite 😽

(i'll also hand you the homie award bc you put up with each and every one of my antics whether it's spite writing or my shenanigans with skz 🤩🤩 our moot means sooo much to me, i hope we remain pals for a long, long time 🛐)

@toruro — you get the social butterfly award bc you're very interactive and easygoing to speak with 🦋 it's always a neat and dandy day whenever i see mika toruro sliding into my inbox to ask about my day. you're the sweetest, always 💘

@multi-kpop-fanfics — you're more than worthy of the best supporter award 🥇 because you almost always read my stuff moments after i post em 😭 i'll also be handing you a phd in making me lose my mind because i have not forgotten that one time i binged through the zeta fic discography (that and i'm still suffering from irreversible psychic damage courtesy of half past five high🧍‍♀️)

@duhnova — you immediately get the enabler award bc we always egg each other on to spend exorbitant amounts of money for little kpop boys printed on paper 🤒 an additional would be the (talks a lot) (listens) award bc you're always there to hear out everything i air out under the sun 🥹🥹 i hope you know that i'll gladly do the same for you 💘💐

@sluttyminghao — definitely the top contender for the all in a day's work award bc damn ?? you're always so consistent with putting out content?! i will actually fight every single ingrate in your inbox with my bare hands bc it takes so much dedication to cater to all the reqs you receive 🥹

@junkissed — june junkissed gets the osmosis award bc i swear i didn't love jun as much as i do now that we're mutuals 🧍‍♀️ it's your effect, i believe

@cheolhub — you're getting the nation's sweetheart award bc everyone is absolutely enamored w you (myself included <3) both ur moots and anons would do anything for you i fear ! 💐💐

@gyukult — gyu deserves the holy shit how did we become friends award bc i still can't believe u're in my dms talking abt cute merch w me when i was Just losing my mind over ybny a few weeks ago ㅠㅠ

@rubyreduji — *hands you the life of the dash award* bc you always fill my dashboard with ur shenanigans (along w mika) nd it's nice seeing fellow writers just vibing~ i'd love to talk to you more 🤝🤝

(p.s. sheep in wolf's clothing did a number on my wellbeing so i hope you're ready to take responsibility for your actions)

@etherealyoungk — i would like to give you the refreshing award bc every time i see you on my dash, i just think oh it's skye, i hope they're having a nice day ^_^ bc ur vibe just generally puts me in a good mood for some reason ASKJDKA

@97-liners — i actually thought abt it for a while if i should tag you bc i didn't wanna seem overly familiar but i'm awarding you the funniest person to ever exist in caratblr award bc i eat up your text posts like i've got munchies 24/7 🧍‍♀️

(i've always been a liiittle reluctant to interact bc surprise i'm actually capable of being shy ! but i'm shooting my shot now bc you're cool and i really love how your humor translates to your writing as well 🥰)

i reaaally wanted to make this stuff w all my mutuals but the brain is Not braining so lmk if you'd like one nd i'll personally write you a love letter on top of the silly little award i'd give out 😽

[troyandabedsnewapartment]

I'm sending this anonymously bc I'm a pussy and I know my crush uses this hellsite.

I know you're not a professional and not meant to deal with this, but I don't know what to do with the knowledge; she doesn't, and won't ever love me. I have loved her, openly, I have loved her. Silently, patiently, loudly, and poorly. I have loved her in every way I should and most definitely should not have. I have loved her, but she won't love me, and every disillusioned beat of my heart for the last decade has felt like a slap in the face of any universal justice that might be; because why do I even exist without her? What is the point of an artist with no muse? A godless priest? A sail-less ship? Why does my heart continue to beat when it's reason for tempo has decidedly left it?

Please don't mistake my heartache as anger for her: I worship her, but where I feel the intensity of the oceans' force; she is in drought. Her oasis lies elsewhere, and I can't fault her for it, but I'm shipwrecked and tired. Can I be faulted for wanting to just let the fish have me?

I'm sorry for dumping my thoughts like this, but I needed to get it out. Thank you for making me feel less alone for a moment ~🪻

Thank you so much for sharing this with me!!! I don’t really have a poetic way of speaking but I feel you very deeply and as i slowly recuperate from being in that situation, all I can say to you is: don’t be content to remain in a familiar sadness.

You don’t need to be angry and you don’t need to fault her for something that she can’t control, but you can look into yourself and find the parts that are actually you when she isn’t around. Gain some perspective as to the fact that you’re real and you’re human and you have feelings. You’re allowed to have feelings and you’re allowed to have needs and you are allowed to separate yourself from what hurts you. Look at yourself in the mirror and remind yourself that you have a life of your own. You’re defined by that, not by someone else.

If you feel like you need closure, have an open and honest conversation about your feelings with her, regardless of how scary it might seem as you already know what is gonna be said. If not, you already have a decade’s worth of closure behind you, head for open waters.

Devotion without reciprocation is just worship. Don’t turn yourself into an altar to a god who will never listen.

[lumenflowered]

Hello. My name is Maria. She/her. I am a Faller from a place called Yharnam, and I currently share this blog with another Faller.

Hello! That would be me. Though I do not have a name, necessarily, Dee will suffice until I find one that I like, and I use she/her pronouns as well. I am... technically, I suppose, not from Yharnam but not not from Yharnam...?

I am the current Champion of the Indigo League, among other things. Dee is a researcher working for Professor Oak of Kanto, among other things.

It is not a coincidence that we look as similar as we do, I'm afraid. I was... artificially created to be a copy of her, though fortunately for the both of us this did not work as well as my creator thought it would.

No. It did not.

Here are our trainer cards!

My own team is as follows:

Rakuyo (Meganium, X) Hunter (Furret, F) Molotov (Arcanine, M) Adeline (Gengar, F) Evelyn (Kingdra, F) Eileen (Honchkrow, F)

While I am much less of a battler than Maria, it proved rather necessary to acquire at least eight badges in order to access certain places for research purposes, so here are my Pokémon companions:

Flora (Venusaur, F) Djura (Crobat, M) Gascoigne (Persian, M) Gilbert (Ninetales, M) Patches (Octillery, M) Henryk (Mismagius, M)

My Gengar, Ade, is considerably more technologically literate than I and rather frequently borrows my Pokégear to editorialize upon what I have written, record my current activities, or make posts of her own. When she does so, she favors the color purple.

Silver remains my rival, as far as she is concerned. While she has her own blog at @cosmic-crobat now, she does not use it particularly frequently. In previous posts on this blog, she used the color blue.

In spite of my... history... with deities, Ho-oh deemed me worthy of protecting the Johto region. This has had side effects, some benign and some less so. They do not speak here often, but when they do they use bolded orange for whatever reason, and more recently they have decided to begin using another name interchangeably with their first: Solaire.

The first person to show me kindness in this world was an eleven-year-old boy named Ethan. He introduced me to the second: his mother, a woman named Reina, who I hold much affection for. I have lent both this device before, and they have chosen to use yellow and pink respectively.

Well, I suppose I likely should do the next introduction. As I mentioned previously, I am not necessarily a Faller from Yharnam but not necessarily not one, either. I was brought here intentionally by a friend of mine, a Faller from this world into Yharnam. She is... no longer quite human, but I have never been human myself, and I personally do not think she has changed as much as she believes.

I... wouldn't know. Though I do know that her name is Mallory, she favors bolded red, and she was both the Hunter that freed me from the Nightmare as well as the force responsible for my being here at all, albeit not on purpose.

It all turned out for the best, though, didn't it?

...Yes. I suppose it did, despite everything.

(OOC info post can be found here, because I gave up on wrangling the hellsite's spaghetti code. Please read it!)

[beregosts]

Your portrayal is perfect, I can not stress enough how real and human arlis feels, with her flaws and her mistakes and her making the hard calls. She feels like a character who would make the wrong choice for the right reasons, and you write her in such a grounded way. I believe she'd have to deal with the consequences of it. Arlis and your frankly gorgeous writing are a gem.

meme // how's my portrayal?

nee my angel my darling this means the world coming from you and your endless well of creativity that more than sometimes results in me wanting to cry. i so appreciate you, remain in awe of the way you weave such incredible imagery and themes into a single post like its NOTHING and im so glad we found each other on this hellsite <3

[panlight]

Little story time.

I read the twilight series when I was in middle school. Liked them but moved on.

When I was in college, I found the books at a thrift store, and rekindled my nostalgic love for them.

Midnight Sun kept the love going. I stumbled across @keepingupwiththecullens and loved the content so much I joined tumblr.

Basically, you’re the reason I’m on the hellsite. (Affectionate and a little accusatory)

Love you ❤️

Aww! I'm glad to hear it. I love thus stupid hellsite. I love how anonymous you can be on it. That you can just talk about fandoms or other niche interests you have but you can stay a ~mystery. I'm too introverted and shy; most other social media I only lurk.

And we're glad you're here!

I'm still surprised that KUWTC works for as many people as it does. That is, I feel you have to have at least a more-than-casual interest in Twilight to truly get it, because minor characters have much more of a voice here and there are easter eggs (like Edward's Cubs fandom that you only get if you know he's canonically from Chicago), but at the same time it's satire and critique, pointing out the weirdness and protagonist-centered morality of it all, so I don't imagine that like, uncritical superfans would care for it much, either.

I remain thrilled, but a little confused, that people seem to like it!

But thank you for the lovely message!

[leviadraws]

i just saw your ace/xander drawing reposted on pinterest 😭 it linked to the og post but i wanted to let u know

Thanks for bringing that to my attention! /gen I'll see if I can sort that out.

As a general statement, I'd like things put on the hellsite to remain on the hellsite. I have my reasons and I hope everyone can respect that.

[ruakichan]

Tumblr wanting to implement a more invasive algorithm absolutely depresses me in a literal way.

I left Twitter because of algorithms; it was fucking with my head to try to game it to get my art out there and just constantly failing. Seeing that I couldn't get eyeballs on my stuff because of whatever invisible reasons I couldn't fulfill instead of organically made me doubt myself, my abilities, and my ideas--things I'm still unpacking to this day. It's one thing if people just don't like my stuff; it's another if the only way they can even see my stuff is cause I have to play the algorithm. The popular things will always be at the forefront, and they remain there, while the little guy is sight unseen. Despite what pretty language Tumblr dresses it up in, the algorithm will always favor "popular"--it absolutely will not help small time users or "get them out there" short of 'character of the day.' It made me think, what is the point? Why bother? I will never Be Good Enough. I will never Succeed(tm). I found myself thinking less about my taste and ideas and more about "what do people want to see that will make the like and RT?" I don't even sell my art! I had no tangible need to be popular or seen! This is how badly trying to make the numbers go up got to me!

I hated it. I hated having to rely on some outside equations and "going viral" rather than on my own merits. I hated myself--that I couldn't meet the numbers my peers were getting, because I'm so old school that I think my art should speak for itself instead of me having to perform as An Artist(tm). I'm not interested in drama or hot takes or spectacle; I just wanna express my love for my blorbos. But that isn't how the climate is now, and I hated how all this became another metric on Why I Fail At Art and I Will Never Compare.

In the end, I nuked my long-time Twitter-- which I had created before it was cool--and my outlook noticably improved. I have no regrets about it, even if I had lost contact with most of my fandom friends and community. I 100% don't want to go back to that mindset. I don't want it here in my last bastion. I enjoy drawing again--drawing the ideas I want to and not thinking about the numbers while appreciating what kudos I do get. I don't want to go back.

This isn't even mentioning seeing shit I don't care about from people or tags I don't follow. I don't need help "discovering" things; I can think for myself, thanks. I hate how insidious advertising is in everything now--and that's what this is: a form of advertising.

Ugh, what is this race to the bottom by socmed? The other sites are on fire and Tumblr is going, "hold my pink fizzy drink." Yet every change by Tumblr just makes the hellsite more difficult to use in the name of trying to make it more user friendly lol. Only Tumblr would fail upwards w. Really too bad PF never took off.

Anyway, I usually don't drop artist wangst in public, but seeing that post was really gut-wrenching. Just allow me to succeed or fail on my own, without interference.