#this is why you dont respond to asks on your iphone

[mrclairdycat]

HUMAN THINGS THAT WOULD SHOCK/CONFUSE WALLY DARLING: A THREAD.

Slight gore warning, I think?

People waxing and plucking their hair.

Nail art. He would love it.

Tumblr. If you gave him tumblr he would end up scrolling all day to see art, and spam post his own. I'm sure he would also feel obliged to comment under every post to compliment the art, he's such a nice little fella

Organs. He would find them silly and interesting. You would show him pictures of organs and he would ask things like:"do you have different colored organs? Can I see yours?"

The fact that we have to go to the bathroom? Imagine being like: "Yeah whenever we consume things we need to make it go out of our bodies aswell." He would be like: "... Neat." He would then play by flushing the toilet numerous times, he would find it fun. He probably would end up clogging it up because he tries to see how many things it can flush.

Human teeth.

Iphones. He would like it since the logo is an apple. He wouldn't play with the phone he would just add it to his collection of apple things.

Videogames? He thinks that the character in the screen is real and he's controlling them. You explain how they don't exist. "How can you be sure about that?" he asks, "cause we make them, they're just codes." "But how can you be sure they just dont know they're alive since they can't tell you?" he asks again: you start rethinking the many times you tortured characters in The Sims.

Pokemon. He would think the creatures are real too. He would lose his shit to Applin. He would ask: "Can I have him?" and you'll buy him the plushie and say they don't live here cause you don't have the heart to tell him it doesn't exist.

Certain animals?? He would be confused on why don't they speak. He sees them as people, he would be like "Why did you lick me? That's weird," to a dog... and then lick him back cause he thinks its a human world thing. You say:"thats just how he communicates affection, " and he would start licking people too to show his affection in this language.

Emojis. If he started messaging he would spam emojis. Probably thinks audio messages are like calls, and you're left with a spam of audio messages that are like: "Hello? Hellooo? Why aren't you saying anything?"

Digital art. He would look in awe. "I have unlimited colors? That's fun."

Sensory videos. He would be like an ipad kid. His face is on the screen watching the videos all day. ShApeS anD CoLoRs.

Sensory toys. He would love them aswell.

Deodorant. "We spray this on our armpits," you say. "Why?" he asks. "Because we sweat and produce smelly liquids," you reply. "... Ew."

Showers. He would be like a cat, he would hate showers at first. He doesn't understand why you would want to be wet. You would then randomly find him standing in the shower with an intense fixiated look on his face as the warm/hot water pours down on him. He likes the feeling.

Speaking about warmness, he would absolutely love how warm humans are. He would just randomly hug you cause he likes how warm and comforting it feels. Probably would like sleeping with you aswell and cuddle.

Human movies and tv shows. He would think those are things happening for real. You explain that it's like theatre. "... Wow, your theatre is very realistic," he says.

Wars. He would be so confused. "Why would you hurt your neighbours? That's bad, just discuss things pacifically." Probably would make him sad. He wants everyone to be friends and an happy community.

Meat. I'm pretty sure in Welcome Home they only eat fruits and vegetables? Idk. He would ask:"Since humans are also animals, do you eat eachoth-" "No. That's illegal," you reply. "... What's an illegal?" he asks. "It's a rule: humans are prohibited from eating each other," you respond. "... Since I'm not a human can I eat one-" "NO."

People making out. He would stare at them. He finds it gross but interesting, he doesn't view it as a intimate sexual thing just a weird thing human do.

Certain social rules. Why can't you just say hi to someone and speak to them as if they're your friend? Why is it rude to stare?

An apple factory. Like the fruit. So... many... apples. He would be sad some apples get thrown away and tries to 'save' them.

Blood. You would try to explain it, he understands it as just red water circuling inside your body. He would play with blood or finger paint with it and won't understand why that is an horrifying image.

Spotify. Unlimited music?? You can save your favourites to listen to them whenever you want? Wow.

Pollution. He would go crazy and blow up. WHY WOULD YOU HARM AND LITTER YOUR HOME?? AAAARGH!!

Homeless people. You're telling me there are people who don't have a home? Everyone needs a home! Why don't they give them a home?!

Preschool. A place where you spend your entire day fingerpainting, reading books, making stuff and dancing? All of the things he loves the most. He would infiltrate into one, the teacher would probably call the police, he would get asked questions. He just wanted to have fun too....

Discovering that in grammar saying "the most" without anything else is just incorrect and doesn't make sense. He doesn't like being corrected about it. It's his thing. Don't correct him.

Cuss words. He would be shocked at how many cuss words he hears daily: watch your profanity.

Space?? People being on planets?? His mind would blow up.

Birth. You... make humans?? You create yourself? What do you mean they grow inside of you? How? Does it just randomly happen? You would rather die than teach him about sex. You say that you were kidding and a stork brings the babies for those who want one, it's their job. "Ohhh, that makes more sense," he says. Then he sees a cat or dog giving birth and just implodes.

Therapists. He would like them cause they would be the closest thing to his neighbours. He doesn't understand, however, why they demand to get paid for being friendly.

History. You're telling me there was a time when your kind didn't exist? And you know that because of just... history? How? What??

Earrings. To him it just looks like you're stabbing yourself.

[insomniacdreammerbb]

Synopsis: a slow burn love story of my favorite chaotic mess of a man Dieter Brave and F!reader. 18+ eventually, minors dni

Trigger warnings: mentions of drugs, death, death by overdose, domestic abuse. Eventually smut.

Authors Note: I haven't written in years, but I have fallen down the rabbit hole of so many talented writers here on tumblr with Pedro Pascal character fanfics. I’m a sucker for a good slow burn, smutty, fluffy love story. Goal is to keep it around or under ten chapters. Any feedback would be appreciated! Also I’m new to tumblr and don’t really know how to use the platform so any advice on that would be nice too.

Chapter One

You cringe when your phone rang for the fourth time today. This is what it was like when Dieter had nothing to do. He’d constantly be blowing up your phone asking you where you put the sex toys that he’d ordered, what's next on his schedule for press or shoots or sometimes it’d be even something more ridiculous like if you believed that Octopuses were really aliens that landed on earth from a meteor. He’d be like this whenever he didn’t have someone to keep him company or in between projects.

“Yes boss?” You answered as you placed your iphone on speaker as you continued typing away at your MacBook finishing up Deiter’s reservation at a resort up in Canada for a project next year.

“What am I doing this weekend?” Dieter asks not bothering to greet you first, this was normal.

You clocked on the calendar on your MacBook, “You have a podcast with Stephen from Vanity Fair Saturday morning at eleven. Other than that your day is free.”

“Hey set me up a reservation for the Marriott in the Marina,” Dieter began barking, “and book two seats for the sunset cruise and dinner on the bay.”

You opened up google typing in the resort, you were used to Dieter giving you demands like this.

“Two seats?” You questioned him and you clicked book now, “who are you going with?”

“A friend,” Dieter replied sheepishly.

“A friend?” You repeated with a raised eyebrow, “Who is it? I’m gonna have to put her name on the second seat for the cruise so you’re gonna have to tell me anyways.”

Dieter was quiet for a moment, “Lola.”

“You gotta be kidding me,” You said, rolling your eyes, “her again?”

“What she’s hot,” Dieter responded, you could practically see her pouty puppy dog eyes he had as he spoke, “and her and her ex just broke up.”

“Again?”

“Yes, again,” Dieter said dramatically, “she’s on the rebound and slumming it and I’m loving it.”

You rolled your eyes again, “you know you don’t have to pick women who are slumming it just to get laid you know. There’s plenty of beautiful women all over L.A. who would happily spend an evening on a sunset cruise. Why do you need to pick the wicked witch of the L.A.?”

“See that’s where you’re wrong,” Dieter began to say, “Those women only wanna hang out with me because I’m a big time movie star. They dont really give a fuck about me.”

“And you think Lola does?” You pointed out.

“No not really,” Dieter said with a hint of sadness in his voice, “but honestly fuck it. I just wanna go out on the ocean, eat some good food and then eat some good pussy. Lola’s good for that.”

“Alright,” you said, conceding knowing that this was a time old argument the two of you have had many times. You knew that it wouldn’t go anywhere and you still had too much to do today to spend the time arguing.

“Do you want the all inclusive romantic suite with, jacuzzi bathtub with an ocean view or would you rather have the scintillating views of downtown LA with the wood burning fireplace?” You asked reading through the options of the luxury suites that were offered.

“Hm they both sound nice,” Dieter said mulling it over in his head, “where would you rather get eaten out? In front of the fireplace or on the edge of the jacuzzi tub?”

Neither, you thought to yourself. Your boyfriend that you’ve been dating for the last few months didn’t really like eating you out and wasn’t all that good at it.

“It’s the middle of June,” you pointed out, “it’s too hot for a fire. But then again knowing you and Lola you’ll be all over that room before the nights over.”

“I know,” Dieter said with a small growl of anticipation in his voice as he palmed himself through his sweats thinking about it, “Fuck it, give me the jacuzzi ocean room.”

“You got it boss,” you said, selecting the room.

The two of you sat in silence for a moment, the only sounds were the clicking of the keyboard on your MacBook and Dieter’s low breathing. Once you finished all the bookings you said, “I’m forwarding your reservation and the tickets to your email.”

“Thanks,” Dieter muses and then mechanically says, “what are you doing this weekend?”

“Matt’s taking me to that new Italian place 7th St,” you responded.

“Oh so Matty Cakes finally decided to step up his game and take you someplace nicer than Wok n’ Roll?” Dieter teased.

“Hey I love Wok n’ Roll,” you pushed back, “And not everyone can afford a sunset dinner cruise for dinner. Some of us are just regular people instead of big superstar actors.”

“Urgh thank God I’m not one of those,” Dieter responded.

You and Dieter had been friends for nearly ten years now. You met for the first time at your drug dealer's house, the two of you happened to be buying cocaine at the same time. Honestly you don’t even really remember the details the first time you met. You had come to LA to try to be a dancer while also attending UCLA. You had spent most of your early twenties shamelessly partying, doing drugs to keep your energy up to dance, working as a bartender, and going to school. You hadn’t declared a major in anything, you had a long list of ideas of what you wanted to do but couldn't decide on any one thing.

You and Dieter would spend a year running into each other before you two really became friends. You ran into each other at your dealer's house, at the bar where you worked and even a few parties. At the time Dieter had been a smaller actor, getting a few small parts as a supporting cast in a few movies and a handful of appearances on Law and Order. You two would make small talk, giving life updates in between weeks or months of not seeing each other.

One thing was perfectly clear from the moment you met Dieter. He was absolutely handsome and he knew it and was a total slut. But despite that he never did hit on you. Albeit you had a different circle of friends and there was a never ending line of hot women that threw themselves at Dieter. He was also twelve years your senior which may have played a part in why he never hit on you.

Your life had come crashing down one night in October. When you had moved out to LA to attend school you already had a brother living out here. He had left your home town a few years back. He was the one that had convinced you to move out here and to apply for UCLA. Your brother was your best friend, you had been so mad when he announced that he was moving out to LA when you were still a teenager stuck at home.

Then everything went to shit. You had gotten a call from Cedar Sinai letting you know that Brandon had overdosed. You were beyond devastated and catatonic for months after that. You had stopped eating, gotten fired from the bar you worked at because you kept calling out and dropped out of classes because you couldn't keep up with the work anymore. You spent endless months in your tiny shitty apartment, only ever leaving for groceries. It was then and there that you had decided to quit. You flushed everything you had and never did any drugs since then.

Then about six months after Brandon’s death you were sitting at an Ihop at 3am. You needed to get out of your apartment after months of being a recluse and you only picked his Ihop because there was no one else in it. Then Dieter walked in alone and went to sit at the counter and ordered a coffee. You sat in the booth, minding your own business until Dieter saw you.

He exclaimed excitedly about how he hasn’t seen you in awhile. How he even went to the bar you worked at asking for you. Your drug dealer had told Dieter that it’d been months since he had seen you. You were surprised to hear this from the eccentric actor. However a few breaths in Dieter had picked up that something was wrong. He sat in the booth across from you, inquiring what happened.

The rest of the night was a bit of a blur. You had told him everything that had happened. He stared at you with those damn puppy dog eyes and listened diligently. He was deeply sympathetic and kind to you that night. You had told him about how you were about to get kicked out of your apartment because you were behind on the rent and out of money. How you had considered moving back home.

Dieter had talked you out of it. He ended up getting you a job as his personal assistant and let you live in his guest house that was off the main house up on the hill in Sherman Oaks. He paid you well, even set you up with his therapist that apparently made house calls. His therapist would come visit Dieter at the main house and then send him to the guest house for you. You always gushed to Dieter about how you couldn't afford to live in Sherman Oaks and a therapist who made house calls. But Dieter insisted, that was the thing about Dieter. If you could get into his inner circle he was loyal to the death. You weren’t exactly sure how you got there but you did.

As the years had dawned on you two had developed a deep friendship. He never once attempted to hit on you which you kind of appreciated. You appreciated Dieter as a friend far more than a lover. That was the curious irony of Dieter, he was loyal to a fault but also went through lovers and girlfriends like you went through your socks. Dieter was far too chaotic for your tastes. It was entertaining to sit on the side lines and watch him make a total ass of himself. He also landed a few dream roles over the years and became a superstar and you were thankful that you got to play a part of that. He really was a brilliant actor and a good friend when he wasn’t being a pain in the ass.

Hours later you were standing in front of the mirror near the front door, putting on the finishing touches to your make up. Matt had texted you saying he was a few minutes away. You grabbed your light blue denim coat and threw it over your black dress and made your way out the guest house. The main house was attached to a long paved driveway that was about thirty feet away from the guest house. A black SUV was parked near the door, a man in a suit was opening the back passenger door.

Lola stepped out wearing a short white skirt with a red tank top with a deep V neck, her bleach blond hair was styled in big curls and an ostentatious diamond necklace laid gently between her tits. She had her face hidden behind big sunglasses and didn’t even give you a second glance. Dieter quickly appeared at the front door making his way down the front steps.

“Damn baby,” He said eyeing her up and down quickly, “You looking fuckin’ amazing.”

“Thank’s hun,” she said, throwing her arms around him as he came down to her.

Dieter immediately placed his hand on her ass as he kissed her deeply. Afterward he looked up at you.

“Damn little black dress tonight?” Dieter said, looking you over while he kept his hand on her Lola’s ass, “Matty Cakes finally getting lucky tonight?”

“You better not call him that when he gets here,” you shot him a warning look, “You know he hates it.”

“I know that's why I keep calling him that,” Dieter smirked playfully, “it’s funny to see him get all pissed.”

You couldn’t tell but you were pretty sure that Lola was rolling her eyes behind her Armani sunglasses.

“So did Dieter tell you that he’s taking me on a sunset cruise tonight?” She chimed in, running her hands up and down Dieters chest while keeping her eyes on you.

“Nope sounds romantic,” you smirked while Deiter looked down at his pleather shoes sheepishly.

“He really is,” Lola said, glancing between him and you, “and then we’re staying at the Marriott near the marina. He really is the sweetest.”

This was something Lola had done from the beginning. You could tell she was the jealous type, she always made a bit of a scene of staking her claim in Dieter in front of you. Despite the fact that you and Dieter had repeatedly told her you two were just friends, Lola still liked to dangle Dieter in front of your face like a shiny toy. Dieter always seemed to tune out whenever she did, he didn’t care for the drama that Lola always seemed to start.

“So where’s Matt taking you tonight? That tacky Chinese place down by the beach?” Lola questioned while still hanging off Dieter.

“Um no we’re going to that new Italian place that just opened up,” You replied trying to be civil.

“Oh I’ve been there so many times already,” Lola purred as if she were bored with the conversation, “word of advice if you wanna fit into that dress of your come summer order a salad. Their pasta dishes are huge.”

“Thanks Lola,” you nodded sarcastically, you were used to her many backhanded compliments.

“Alright well I’m bored,” Dieter said turning back in, “let’s go baby, I wanna go get on the boat already.”

He turned her around and slapped her ass as the two of them climbed into the SUV. As they were pulling out of the driveway Matt’s car drove up and pulled to a stop near you. You went to go get in until he turned the car off and got out.

”Hey, you ready to go?” You asked curiously as he got out.

“Actually we need to talk,” he said as he placed his arms on the hood of the car.

You felt your stomach flip at his words but also wasn’t surprised. In fact you were surprised by the fact that you weren’t surprised by what he was saying, “Okay.”

He sighed, running a hand through his hair, “I don’t think this is working out for me.”

“Okay,” you said glumly, “why?”

“I just can’t stop thinking about what you had said last time you were over at my apartment when we were watching that movie,” he went on to explain.

“What I said when?” You said trying to rack your brain that night.

“What you said after I finally got you to go down on me,” Matt stated, “about how you used to have a reputation for giving the best blowjobs at UCLA.”

“It was a joke Matt,” you replied with feeling your anger build, “I told you the actual story behind it. It was a stupid rumor that went around my dorm building but everyone knew the truth, they were saying that about me ironically.”

The truth was that you had been blowing this guy you were seeing but you were so drunk that you had ended up puking mid job. It was definitely not funny at the time and embarrassing as hell but over the years you’ve learned to not take life too seriously and it was a little funny now looking back on it. You were young and dumb and luckily made it through those days relatively in one piece.

“Really? Because Travis has been asking me a lot of questions about you lately,” Matt continued on, “he asked me if your reputation still holds up and if I’d be willing to share you with him.”

“What?” You asked shocked, “what the fuck, why would he ask you that?”

“Have you been flirting with him?” Matt questioned.

“No,” you shot back, “he DM’d that one night at like 3 am and sent me a dick pic which I told you about by the way and I blocked him after that.”

“Well now I’ve been hearing from all my friends that they all wanna bone you and I don’t like it,” Matt ranted on, “and now they all know about your UCLA dorm reputation of being a slut and now they wont stop asking me about it.”

“How did they hear that story?” You asked, crossing your arms.

“Huh?”

“How’d they hear that story?” You repeat yourself, “I only told you that story because you’re the one who brought up embarrassing stories after telling me yours. Did you tell them?”

“Look it doesn’t matter how they know,” Matt redirected, “the point is that I don’t want a hoe for a girlfriend and no one’s that good at giving head unless there’s some truth to it.”

“Oh so that’s what this is about?” You asked amused, “so you liked the head I gave you?”

“Well not anymore because now I’m just wondering how many other guys' dicks you’ve had in your mouth and now I’m just grossed out,” Matt said, throwing his hands up, “and I don’t need to hear it from my friends or whatever other dudes you’ve had.”

You stood there in a stunned silence as he got back into his car and drove out the driveway to the gate. Did you just get dumped for being too good at giving head? There’s no way. You didn’t believe that was the real reason, sure you may be alright at it but you didn’t think that you were extraordinarily talented at it or anything. But you could tell from the beginning that Matt’s friends were all douchebags and Matt kind of was too. You wanted to give him a fair chance but you weren’t very attached to him, you didn't even really care that you had just gotten dumped you were just surprised that you were.

Well fuck it, you thought to your self. You had been looking forward to going to that Italian restaurant. Even if it meant going alone and eating a whole damn bowl of pasta by yourself, you’d find a way to have a good evening.

*******************************************************************************

You sipped the red wine from your glass slowly, scrolling on instagram mindlessly. You had blocked Matt and all his douchebag friends. An empty bowl of Alfredo mushroom pasta laid next to you. It had been delicious and well worth the trip. The restaurant was definitely one of sophistication and romance. You had tried to ignore all the couples or families that were out together. You ended up not being able to get a table without having to wait forty five minutes so you opted for the bar. It did you better anyways because then you could have your back to everyone around you and try to ignore the sting of being out alone on a Friday night.

Then out of nowhere a familiar voice came from behind you, “this seat taken?”

Before you even had a chance to respond Dieter slid into the chair next to you. He had his sunglasses on and avoided your gaze, he was rubbing his temple in discomfort.

“What are you doing here?” You question him, “I thought you and Lola were gonna have a cunilingis party in your jacuzzi tub.”

“Yep we didn’t make it that far,” Dieter confessed and got the bartender's attention, “crown whiskey please, neat.”

The bartender nodded and turned to get a tumbler glass.

“Where’s Matty cakes?” Dieter asks, still avoiding your gaze.

It’s only now with Dieter sitting besides you being aloof that you thought to really look at him. The side of his face was a little pinker than normal and there was a small cut on his cheek. You went to grab for his sunglasses, taking them off delicately. His eyes snapped at you with anger while you sighed frustratedly.

“Did she hit you again?” You say hushed toned.

“Well it’s not like I didn’t deserve it,” Dieter replied taking the sunglasses back from you and sliding them up his face, “she was being a bitch, I was being a dick. You know the same old story.”

“You still shouldn’t be allowing her to hit you,” You say sternly, “it’s not right.”

“Eh fuck it,” Dieter said shrugging, “it was more of a bitch slap anyways. I’ve had worse, besides the girls a total psycho. She’s out there throwing a temper tantrum because her rich lawyer boyfriend won’t shell out the $135,000 she needs to go to New York for fashion week.”

“And let me guess, instead she asked you for the money?” You asked unsurprised, taking a sip of wine.

“I would have done it if she didn’t have such a stick up her ass,” Dieter went on to explain, “we were on the dinner cruise and a group of women came up to me and asked for a selfie. She sat at the table and pouted the rest of dinner and before we even got the Marriott she blew up on me because she thought I was eye fucking those women that wanted the picture.”

You weren’t surprised, Lola was incredibly jealous of every other woman that was in Dieter’s vicinity. She had even tried to convince Dieter to kick you out of the guest house even though you and Dieter had always had set a boundary early on of not entering each other’s spaces without notice.

“I don't understand why you put up with her,” you grumbled, “yea she’s hot but there’s plenty of hot women that would line up for you. She’s a selfish manipulative gold digger who’s going to throw a toddler-like tantrum every time she doesn’t get her way. You could do much better.”

“But she’s the one that keeps coming back,” Dieter explained, “and besides when she is in the middle of her temper tantrums the sex is crazy good. We were in the lobby of the Marriott, I tried to off to take her upstairs to make her legs shake all the way to New York, she asked me if I’d give her the money and I made a joke about how she’s like my own personal Vivian Ward and she slapped me and left.”

You rolled your eyes, it sounded like a typical fight between the two of them.

“So where’s Matty Cakes?” Dieter asked now just noticing, “Why you sitting at a bar alone?”

“We’re done,” you said bluntly.

“Good for you!” Dieter said, placing his hand on your shoulder affectionately, “I was hoping you’d wise up and leave his sorry ass.”

“Oh you mean just like how I tell you all the time to forget about Lola?” You pointed out.

“Yeah but you’re a lot smarter than me,” Dieter retorted, “besides you definitely could do better than that ass hat.”

“I’m not sure how true that is,” you responded, swirling the wine in your glass around, “he broke up with me.”

“Why?” Dieter asked, looking over towards you behind the shades.

“Well first off I don’t believe what he said,” you began to explain, “I think he’s full of shit but I don’t know why he’d lie about it. Probably just has a stick up his ass too like Lola.”

“We ought to hook the two of them up,” Dieter responded.

“Please Matt can't afford her,” you retorted simply.

“So what did he say?” Dieter questioned further.

“He said that he’s pissed because a couple of his friends are into me a guess and he told them the story about how I used to have that reputation for giving the best at giving head at UCLA,” you started to explain.

“From that time you ralphed all over that guy when you were drunk?” Dieter questioned, recalling one of the many late night talks you two had over the years, “What did you puke all over him when you were going down on him tonight?”

“No,” you said flatly.

“Hm too bad,” Dieter replied, “he deserves it. So he's pissed that his boys are into you? That’s stupid, if that were me I’d just make it clear to my friends that you're mine and show you off like you deserve instead of being a little bitch about it.”

“You’d think so,” you agreed, “but he said that he agrees with my reputation and doesn’t want a girlfriend that’s too good at giving head because obviously that means that I’m a hoe.”

“Wait so he actually broke up with you for being too good at giving head?” Dieter asked with a furrowed brow. A few people around the restaurant started giving you two funny looks, but you were used to getting stares from Dieter’s blunt openness even in public, “That’s the stupidest fucking thing I’ve ever heard! If you’re that good at it he should be on his knees begging for your mouth every night.”

You shrugged, unsure how to respond. You didn’t really think you were that good at and also agreed that it was a stupid thing to get dumped over. But there wasn’t enough attachment to Matt. You were getting sleepy off the wine, you were ready to put this day to rest.

“Was he good at going down on you?” Dieter continued to question.

“Not really,” you confessed, “he didn’t really like to do it. Even when we were dating I tried to tell him if he wouldn’t do it to me that I wouldn’t do it to him but he bitched, moaned and complained if i wouldn’t.”

“Jesus,” Dieter said, running his hands through his hair, “Alright let’s go back to the Marriott.”

“Go back to your hotel with you?” You asked surprised.

“C’mon,” Dieter said, standing from the bar and tossing a fifty dollar bill on the counter, “let’s drown our sorrows in Mary Jane and we can play scrabble all night.”

[izhyperfixates]

please iz...i want to know what your own personal choso headcanons are....

ok like. canonically he’s 5’9, mentally he’s 6’4. he wears techwear in a modern no curse au and i saw somewhere that like. instead of blood the line across his nose would be a tattoo but that wouldn’t be my own so ANYWAY idk i hc him to be super soft and quiet but you’d still get scary dog privileges and would still quite literally kill for you if asked. i don’t think he understands things like “complex” skin care routines and i think physical touch is his primary love language. he’s really smart and can easily put 2+2 together quickly (like. canonically. he figured out who kenjaku was at the last fight scene of the shibuya arc) so i think he’s super emotionally intelligent. he’s really eloquent and well spoken and chooses his words well. he’s also one of those “no social media presence bfs” like. only follows you but has like thousands of followers and two posts that are like. only about you yknow. definitely isn’t tech savvy and easily gets confused by the new iphone (part of the reason why he has no social media presence tbh) he also struggles with using things like siri or alexa. disembodied voices freak him out methinks. i saw a canon compliant au where they got choso an iphone and yuuji facetimed him and he freaked out and was like YUUJI DONT WORRY I’LL RESCUE YOU so i think he kinda. keeps that general mentality. idk i think you might’ve mentioned once that he was catboy aligned and it hasn’t left my mind since so i think he’s really clingy and likes to know where you are throughout the day but is awful at responding to texts. when he’s relaxing at home he likes to wear super baggy oversized clothes and probably has some sort of glasses but never wears them. he slouches a lot and drags his feet when he’s really tired. definitely goes to bed early and sleeps late. sleepy boy. OH loves to cuddle while laying on top of you and gives u collar bone kisses. probably falls asleep there. i probably have more tbh

[creweemmaeec11]

The Gift of Panic Pt#2

First part

--------------------------------------

After a moment of silence, the villain finially spoke.

"The last birthday present I got..." they started in a quiet, almost whispered tone, "was a bomb..."

"What!?" the hero replied in shock.

"Someone I cared about... though it would be funny to open my present before me as a joke..." they took a deep breath, "they didn't..."

Their voice cracked before they trailed off, and the quickly wiped at their face, abruptly standing up, keeping their back to the hero.

"I don't even know..." the hero replied, trailing off as well. They didnt know what to say, how to respond, what to do. What could they?

"Its fine I just," the villain started, before taking a deep, recomposing breath, "Sorry, I've never told anyone about it,"

"No no, it's okay. God, I can't even imagine..."

"Its alright, I got my revenge in the end," the villain replied, turning back toward the hero.

"Really? How?"

The villain looked at them with a confused expression, before it shifted into an amused smirk, "For legal reasons, and because I don't want to prolong my time in here, I probably shouldn't tell you,"

The hero laughed, "fair point. For what it's worth, I'm glad you got justice, even if it probably isn't the kind of justice I'd agree with,"

"Really? You think I deserve justice?"

"Of course, I think everyone does," the hero said in confusion, as if that was obvious.

The villain huffed a half laugh, giving a small smile, "I need to remember who I'm talking to,"

Both their gazes fell back to the long discarded present on the floor.

"I can take it, if you'd like, but-"

"No no, it's okay, I... I cant believe the words 'I trust you' are coming out of my mouth but I at least trust you didnt gift me a bomb,"

"I don't know if I'm hurt or flattered,"

The villain laughed again, walking over to hesitantly pick up the gift. They turned back to face the hero, holding the box with both hands as they just stared at it.

"The question still remains..." they drawled, before looking up at the hero that was still sat on the bed, "Why would you get me a birthday present?"

"What do you mean?"

"Why would you get me a gift? Why would you do something like that? For me? I dont think I'm very... deserving of a gift. Especially from you. Unless whatever is in here is some form of mockery- I mean- I guess I shouldn't assume..."

Their eyes dimmed slightly, as if they realized the only thing that could be in the box was something mocking, a heros form of bragging that they had won.

"Okay now I'm definitely hurt,"

The villain looked back up at them.

"Your my friend, I realized your birthday was coming up, so I thought back on our previous conversations, and tried to get something I thought youd like," the hero replied, moving to sit it a more casual position, "There wasnt any more thought put into it then that,"

The villain was now staring at them with wide eyes.

They blinked, seemingly trying to process what they'd just heard.

"I... have questions..."

The hero smirked, tilting their head as a prompt to continue, amused at the normally silver tounged villain being thrown so off their game by something so simple.

"Friend?" The villain responded almost instantly.

"Oh I'm sorry, what would you call this? Marriage?"

"I'd call this me tolerating your visits, whenever you decide to drop by because you've nothing better to do,"

"Maybe at first, but I've seen the way you recently light up whenever I come in,"

"Then you've *recently* begun going blind. I'd suggest seeing an optometrist,"

The hero laughed, "also, for your information, I make time for these visits, I dont just swing by cuz 'I'm bored',"

The villain squinted at that, "You... make time... for me?"

"Yes, that's what friends do,"

"I am not your friend," the villain replied stubbornly.

"Oh yeah? When was the last time you let someone hug you? I have to have passed the friend mark by now,"

The villain blushed, realizing they *had* allowed the hero to hug them, and they couldnt remeber the last time anyone else had even tried, nevermind been *allowed*.

"this is a dysfunctional work relationship at best"

The hero snorted another laugh at that.

The villain glanced down at the box once more.

Finially they knelt down onto the floor, placing the box infront of them. The stared at it for a few seconds, hands shaking slightly as they hovered over it, before taking a deep breath and tearing the wrapping off.

It was a simple brown box with a lid.

The villain chuckled under their breath slightly at that.

"What?" The hero questioned, not seeing anything funny.

"No, sorry I just-, had a thought,"

The hero raised an eyebrow at them.

"I just thought how funny it would be if after all this it turned out to be empty, but that would be cruel, even for-"

Their sentence came to a halt as the lid came off and they saw what was inside.

Now their wasnt anything incredible inside, it wasnt like they had gotten a new iphone, but there was *many* things inside.

They looked up at the hero, mouth open slightly, not even attempting to hide their shock.

The hero just smiled.

Slowly, the villain began taking things out of the box. A book of puzzles, like crosswords and word searches, a small sketch book and a pack of markers to go with them. A small puzzle, showing the picture of a fox, which was the villains favourite animal. There was also a rubix cube that was already messed up, and a set of other small puzzles. At the bottom, there were two more boxes, one much bigger then the other.

The bigger box contained the Harry Potter book series. The second, contained a small device that looked like an airpod, along with earbuds.

It was fascinating for the hero to watch the villain open their gift. One would expect a villain to be clumsy, rushed, or aggressive, ripping into their present, but they were the opposite. They removed every item slowly, delicately, like it was a peice of glass that could break, examining it with the same gentleness before laying it down carefully beside them.

When they had opened the last item, they looked back up at the hero, completely flabbergasted, jaw on the floor and eyes wide.

The hero laughed quietly, "do you like it?"

"I..." the villain sat back onto their heels from where they were kneeling, looking over the items like they were unsure what to do now, "what..."

They blinked, gathering their thoughts, "how did you...? I mean what-"

They picked up the puzzle as they spoke.

"That's your favourite animal right? A fox? Now I wasnt sure what kind of fox but-"

"How?" The villain asked, almost breathlessly, looking back at the hero.

"How did I know that? You mentioned it, once. I was talking about being a cat or dog person, and you said youd always been a fox person, something about them being 'sly and underestimated, yet smart enough to know when to strike'" they recited, making quotations in the air.

The villains jaw hit the floor again.

"That was actually one of the first things you ever told me about yourself,"

"You bothered... to remeber that...?" they muttered under their breath.

"Yep. The rubix cube is because you bragged to me once you were good at puzzles and could do one, and I didn't believe you," the hero smirked, "still don't,"

The villain huffed a small laugh, before glancing over at the books.

"the puzzle book and sketch book are just something to do, I know markers arnt ideal, but obviously I wasnt allowed to give you any pencils or pens,"

The villain nodded in understanding.

"the books are because I was talking about game of thrones one day, and you said youd always preferred Harry Potter,"

The villain smiled, and shook their head at that, chuckling, "I've never actually read them, I just wanted to disagree with you," they joked.

They both laughed.

"What's this?" The villain asked, picking up the small device with the ear buds.

"Its a little mini portable radio. I didnt know what songs you liked, and obviously, I'm not allowed to give you anything with acsess to the internet, but at least now you can choose what station you want,"

The villain sat back again, looking over everything with the same stunned, almost lost expression.

"You... remebered all those little details... and here I thought I was doing a good job at not letting anything about myself slip..."

"Oh you have been, trying to figure out what to get you was near impossible, but I managed to remeber a couple little things youd mentioned,"

They picked up the rubix cube, playing with it aimlessly, "I... don't even know what to say..."

"Well, most people would say thankyou,"

The villain shook their head, "that dosent seem like enough. I... I cant even remeber the last time someone gave me a gift, nevermind one without strings attached, and esspecially nevermind one with actual thought put into it,"

"I get the feeling you need better friends," the hero joked, trying to keep the mood light.

"Yeah well, I guess I'm on the right track, I've already got one," they replied, but couldnt bring themselves to look at the hero while they did.

The hero in question was lit up like a christmas tree, heart swelling happily in their chest.

"I hate to cut this short, but don't have long today, I'm going to have to get going, I just wanted to make sure I got to swing by today," the hero said, looking at their watch.

"Oh! Yeah, of course, you -"

"Do not have 'more important' things to do, I simply have *other* things I need to do," the hero interrupted sternly, giving the villain, who blushed, a pointed look.

"yeah, that."

The villain stood up, standing awkwardly in the middle of all their gifts, watching the hero leave through the finger print locked cell door. They approached the switch to turn on the force field, when the villain stopped them.

"Oh, hey, wait!"

"What's up?" The hero asked.

Suddenly the villain tossed something through the bars with effortless perfect aim. The hero caught it, and this time it was their jaw that hit the floor.

It was a completed rubix cube.

They looked back at the villain in shock, who laughed, giving them a real, large, and although greatly amused, no less genuine smile. The first real, true smile they'd ever seen on the villain. They couldnt help but stare in awe for a moment.

"What..?" The villain asked after a moment.

The hero shook their head to snap them out of it, "sorry! It's just, that's the first time I think I've ever seen you actually smile,"

Instantly the smile vanished as the villain steeled their features, crossing their arms and shrugging, trying to ignore the blush on their face, "yeah well, that's cuz it dosent happen often, so,"

"I'm honored,"

"Shut up,"

The hero laughed, before looking at the cube in their hand again,"this is like, actually really impressive though, that was so fast!"

The villain shrugged again, "the 3 by 3 ones are easy, the 4 by 4 or 5 ones arnt that much more difficult, the 6 and 7 ones take me a while though, 8 is an actual challenge, and I dont think I've ever done above that before,"

The hero was still staring at them wide eyed.

The villain just chuckled and shrugged at them again, "I was an outcast kid, had alot of time on my hands. Anyway, get going,"

"Yeah, right," the hero replied, tossing the cube back before flicking on the force field. They began walking toward the door, before the villain spoke out to them one last time,

"By the way... thank you... really..."

The hero smiled, "your welcome," they replied, before disappearing out the door.

The next time they visited, they would make sure to bring a 9 by 9 rubix cube, and a fox calendar.

Third part

[nahimjustfeelingit-writes]

Imagine:

Erik dealing with his sixteen year old daughter.

Warnings: Angst

Okay so this was intended to be two parts but the way this is written I will do one more part to wrap it up.

“What should we do? Should we go to this party of Donte’s or should we stay in and have a sleepover?”

Trinny brought her shades above her head, turning over on her pool lounge chair to look at Kayla. Kayla was currently watching the clouds float by within the crisp blue sky while the sun beat down on her peanut butter skin. 

“I don’t know, Trinny...with what’s going on in my house my mom would kill me if she found out I went to Donte’s for a party.”

“Why don’t you ask your dad, Mr. Erik?” Trinny sounded his name out seductively, “Just tell him it’s a mutual friend's party and he can just...drop you off at my place and I can drive us over to Donte’s. He’s expecting you to be there, don’t you wanna see him?”

“First of all STOP saying his name like that, it’s cringe. Secondly, my dad ain’t stupid he will know I’m trying to be sneaky.”

“Well, then you won’t be going,” Trinny turned back on her chair, bringing her shades back down, “Your mother is a complete BITCH. My parents are never around so it’s not like that can tell me what the fuck to do...GIRL! I forgot to tell you about what happened with me and Miles…”

Kayla blocked out Trinny’s words. She really wasn’t in the mood for gossip. After the big argument with her mom they basically avoided each other. Her father tried to play the mediator in the situation but her mother didn’t feel like dealing with it anymore. She felt like she lost a battle against her own daughter. Kayla is still irritated with her for going through her phone and finding her half naked photos. 

“Kay, are you even listening to me?” Trinny says with an elevated tone.

“Uhm...what happened with Miles?” 

“Oh my God, bitch, you didn’t even hear a word I said.”

“Sorry...I’m just thinking about my mom...she found my photos that I planned on sending to Donte.”

“WHAT?!” Trinny sat up, flipping her legs around to sit on the edge of the lounge chair.

“Yep...she went through my phone and found my photos. She literally invaded my privacy.”

“That’s fucked UP.”

“I know,” Kayla says with a sad voice, “she should have just talked to me about it instead of going through my phone and snooping…”

“I mean, would you have told her?” Trinny asked.

Kayla didn’t respond to that. 

“Don’t worry, if you come to this party tonight, Donte can see you in your underwear then.”

“Ughhh!” Kayla blushes, “In person is better than in a picture, isn’t it?”

“Exactly!!!! Then, you can finally lose that V-card like I did with Miles...trust me...I heard Donte is big,” Trinny giggles.

“I don’t know about having sex with him but we can kiss...and touch,” Kayla says timidly.

“Kiss? Touch? Girl, this ain’t middle school! You are about to be 17 years old! It’s time to take it to 3rd base.” 

“I don’t know,” Kayla chuckles, “That’s sacred, you know?”

“Yeah, I get it Kay-Kay, miss star basketball player, you’re chicken!” 

“Shut up, Trinny,” Kayla sat up in her own lounge chair, adjusting the straps to the bikini that Trinny let her borrow since her parents felt it was too grown to wear something so revealing, “Take a picture of me in this bikini, it’s cute on me.” 

“Yeah, it shows off your curves,” Trinny grabs her iPhone, standing up to take a picture of Kayla. Kayla stood in front of the pool, looking back at Trinny with her booty poked out like those IG models do, giving a kissy face to the camera. Trinny snaps a few photos before instructing for Kayla to turn around, bend over, and blow a kiss to the camera.

“Donte NEEDS to see these,” She motions for Kayla to come over so she can see them.

“Oooh, They are all so cute, send them to me!” 

“Gotcha,” Trinny sends them to Kayla but not before sending them to Donte as well without Kayla’s knowledge, “You ready to fool around with my parents liquor stash before we do each other’s makeup and toes?”

Just then, Kayla’s phone started ringing. Picking it up from the chair, Kayla almost jumped out of her own skin.

“It’s my dad! He’s trying to FaceTime me!”

“Cover up!” Trinny tosses Kayla a fluffy beach towel with SpongeBob on it while laughing hysterically at Kyla frantically trying to wrap herself with it.

“Hey Daddy!” Kayla puts on a wide smile while walking away towards Trinny’s house.

“Hey, Princess...you didn’t tell me you were leaving...what did we talk about?” His voice was stern right along with his eyes. 

“I’m at Trinny’s. She picked me up...I didn’t think I needed to tell you.”

“You didn’t think you needed to tell me? Really Kay? I don’t care if you were going to your cousins house. You let us know where you are going, with who, and when you will be home, ALWAYS, do you hear me?”

“...yes,” Kayla takes a seat at Trinny’s parents open bar in the kitchen. She toyed with a bottle opener out of her father's vision so that he wouldn’t assume she was drinking. 

“I’ll come and pick you up, Trinny lives in the hilltop community right?”

Kayla sighs, “Dad, Trinny can bring me home. She has her license. You don’t have to come-

“I don’t think it’s a good idea for Trinny to drop you off, your mom already thinks the friendship you have with her is questionable.” 

Kayla can see her dad leaving the house in a crisp white t-shirt with the words “The Black Dollar Is A Terrible Thing To Waste” one of his brand T-shirts since he has his own clothing company. 

“Mom says this, mom says that, what can I do? Honestly. It’s like I’m in a prison.”

“You’ll be in your own prison if you keep talking about your mother like that,” Erik warns while settling behind the wheel of his Lamborghini truck, “Have your things packed I’ll be there in like fifteen minutes.”

“Whatever,” Kayla hangs up, slamming her phone down with a roll of her eyes. She wasn’t ready to go home just yet. Supposedly Trinny could whip up a mean daiquiri with tequila and she wanted one badly. The only amount of alcohol she has ever had is a few sips of red wine from her mom during the holidays. 

“How did it go?” Trinny came strolling back inside with her long, jet black, silky thick hair that reminded Kayla of Pocahontas soaking wet. She must have taken a quick dip in the pool. 

“I have to go home apparently...he’s on his way here.”

“Ouch,” Trinny has a smile on her face, “So I get to see your fine ass dad? Mmm.”

“Trinny, STOP IT! For real,” Kayla says with rage, “That’s my dad and your underage...it’s disgusting.”

“First of all, I’m 18, secondly, it’s not disgusting if the feeling is mutual,” Trinny starts laughing as if it were a joke but Kayla is angered, “Girl...chill the fuck out. I’m kidding...I wouldn’t do you like that.” 

“...have you ever...been with an older man?” Kayla asks with a whisper as if an adult was in earshot.

Trinny kisses her teeth, “okay...once. He’s 23 though...my older brother's college friend. It happened over winter break.” 

“TRINNY!” Kayla was flabbergasted. 

“What?!!! You’re giving me this judgy look.”

A knock came to Trinny’s door. Kayla shared a look with her before quickly getting up from the bar, running out of the kitchen and up the stairs to Trinny’s room. She was still in the bikini that Trinny let her borrow. Trinny opened the door, giving Erik her best braces filled smile, poking her petite hip out.

“Mr. Erik! Hi!” She spoke with a bubbly voice before holding her door open wider, “Kayla is up stairs gathering her things, do you wanna come in and wait?”

“Yeah, I can do that,” Erik stepped into the house, looking around like a detective would a crime scene.

“Everything okay, Mr. Erik?” Trinny stepped around to meet his eyes.

“...where are your parents, Trinny?” 

“Out of town, Santa Monica,” Trinny gave him a wide smile, “They are always pretty busy, nothing new.” 

Erik averted his eyes completely. Trinny was inappropriately dressed with the tiny fabric of her bikini, a belly ring, and a tattoo of a butterfly on her left hip. Erik walked around Trinny to stand near her steps, his eyes focused up and ahead so he could spot Kayla. He couldn’t explain it but he felt out of place. Being alone with Trinny didn’t feel right.

“I’m going to wait in my car. When Kayla is finished, tell her I am outside waiting on her,” Erik says before walking towards the door again.

“Mr. Erik, you don’t have to go so soon...it’s okay to stay inside.” Trinny says with a soft voice.

Erik’s blood was boiling. Trinny wasn’t his daughter but if she was...she wouldn’t see the light of day for a very very long time. She was definitely a lost child. No direction at all. He feared for what this little girl influenced Kayla to do. Y/N is right, Trinny is a problem. Erik was back outside in a flash, his breath coming out harshly. This will be the last time Kayla steps foot in this house again.

Back inside, Kayla is storming down the stairs wearing a pair of Nike biker shorts with a matching Nike sports bra, some Nike slides, and a beach bag filled with her swimwear. 

“Your dad was in here waiting for you but he left,” Trinny spoke lazily, “Do you have everything?”

“Yep! Let me get out of here before he calls me! Bye girl!” Kayla gives Trinny a quick hug before leaving her place. 

_________

“Her parents are never around huh? No wonder she has no direction, give me your bag.”

Kayla tried her best not to roll her eyes while she handed her father her bag. Kayla walked towards their home, her keys swinging in her hand. 

“She’s too grown, Kay. I don’t want you going back to that house.”

“Seriously?” Kayla stomped, turning to face her father, “This is crazy...did mommy talk you into this?”

“No...I’m making the decision.”

Erik ignored Kayla’s whining voice while opening the front door. He held the door open for her, Kayla storming inside like a brat.

“You better pipe that shit down, Kayla. What conversation did we just have this week? No more disrespect. You still have to apologize to your mother for talking to her the way you did. You’re lucky you still have your fucking phone.”

“So much for me asking you if I can go to this party…” Kayla reaches her hand out for her bag, “Can I have my bag back please?”

Erik heaved a sigh before handing Kayla her bag, “What party did you think you would be going to?”

“See...this is EXACTLY WHY I didn’t ask,” Kayla threw her hands up with defeat, “Never mind...forget I said anything.”

“This party involves you going with Trinny and I know Donte will be there. That is a definite no, Kay, I’m happy you knew not to ask. I don’t trust him, and neither should you honestly. I told you he has one thing in mind, ONE.”

“Yeah, I heard you the first time you said it,” Kayla turned away from her father to climb the stairs to her room, “I guess I’ll go sulk in my room for the rest of the night!” 

“I don’t think so! You still have to talk to your mother, Kay! Don’t think you’re off the hook!” Erik shouted after her before Kayla slammed her door shut, “AND OPEN THAT DOOR!”

“Ughhhhh,” Kayla opened her door. 

Erik was exhausted. Stalking to the kitchen he opens the fridge to figure out what to make for dinner this time. Y/N will be home in a couple of hours and the pot of spaghetti that he made was nearly finished. Erik decided to make some salmon with lemon butter sauce, mashed potatoes, and green beans. Taking the fresh salmon fillet from the fridge, Erik opened the spice cabinet to choose all the seasoning and rubs that he needed. The green beans are frozen so that would be easy to pour into a pot and the mashed potatoes are instant. 

While he sets off to cook, Erik receives a text on his cellphone from Y/N. Rinsing his fingers free of seasoning, Erik dries his hands with a dish towel hanging from his shoulder before picking his cell up from the counter. He unlocked his phone to read the text, his eyebrows disappearing behind his locs while reading her message. If it isn’t one thing it’s another. It was becoming draining. It was an overflowing bucket of issues. Y/N was at work she didn’t need added stress on top of being a Nurse Practitioner. 

Wifey: KAYLA WAS OVER TRINNY’S HOUSE?! 

Erik: Are you available to talk right now, babe?

Three seconds later, Y/N calls.

“Where is she?” Y/N spoke harshly through the phone.

“She’s home now, relax, I took care of it,” Erik covered the salmon with aluminum foil before placing it in the oven set to broil on high. 

“Wasn’t she supposed to do that blood drive after school today? Why is she at Trinny’s house in a little ass bikini?”

“Wait, what?” Erik pulled the dish towel from his shoulder harshly, “How do you know about this?”

“Remember I told you that Delia follows her? She thinks because her and her aunt are buddy buddy that she won’t tell me!” 

Erik closes his eyes, “Do I even want to know what these fucking photos look like?”

“Don’t even worry, I’ll be confiscating her phone when I get home.” 

“I’ll do it.”

“...really?” Y/N says with a disbelieving tone.

“Yeah, I can go upstairs and do it now. Enough is enough we should have taken it for good when we found the photos instead of giving it back.”

“Wow, now you put your foot down the proper way,” Y/N chuckles to hide her irritation.

“Why are you being so cynical about it? I’ve been putting my foot down, Y/N, I just don’t yell and shout like you do.”

“I’ll see you when I get home, I’m not discussing this right now.” 

“Fine,” Erik takes the phone from his ear, hanging it up without another word spoken. Since three nights ago when Y/N and Kayla argued, Y/N took her frustrations out on him. Erik endured it enough. Walking up the stairs, Erik made his way to Kayla’s room. Knocking twice, Erik held his ear to the door. Kayla was listening to music. Lil Uzi Vert was playing loudly over her speaker and there was no way she would hear. Twisting the knob, Erik called her name between the crack of the door, Kayla still not answering him. 

“KAY!” Erik shouts before opening her door fully, “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?”

Erik couldn’t help but to raise his voice angrily at his daughter. Kayla is laying back on the bed in a bikini that barely covered her breasts, taking seductive photos. At the sound of her father's booming voice, Kayla shot up out of her bed, grabbing a faux fur zebra printed throw blanket from a bean bag chair on her floor, wrapping it around her body with an embarrassed look on her face. 

“Turn that music off...now,” Erik says while trying to still his rage. Kayla grabs her phone from her bed, pausing her music before looking down at her feet. 

“I guess your mother texting me was a sign for me to come up here and check on you...she found out that you were at Trinny’s house and she says that you are all over Instagram with a tiny ass bikini on, bent over all grown,” Erik closes his eyes to ease his anger, “What the fuck are you doing wearing that, Kay?”

“Dad...it’s just a swimsuit. Swimsuits are going to show skin! I can’t help that-

“You can. You have more appropriate swimwear and that’s not a swimsuit that’s two pieces of barely any fabric. Delia told your mom about it.”

Kayla felt a mixture of fear and anger towards her father. Aunt Delia told her mother? She felt betrayed. She could go to Aunt Delia about anything but now that is over. She’s getting unfriended just like the rest of her nosy, interfering relatives. 

“Taking more photos for your Instagram or did you plan on sending those photos to Donte?” 

Kayla’s eyes danced around her room, avoiding her father's question. 

“Kayla…” Erik spoke carefully, “I’m going to ask you one more time...who are these photos for?”

“...Dad-

“ANSWER THE QUESTION!”

Kayla gasps, her eyes growing wide and frightened. She stepped back further, her back touching her bedroom wall. Erik was shaking, his eyes blazing, and his breathing harsh. Her father never got this pissed off with her. 

“It’s for IG!!! That’s it!!!” Kayla spoke with a shrill voice.

“Give me your phone,” Erik held out his hand, “I’m not playing. Give me the damn phone, Kayla. That’s it. I tried the calm and understanding approach now it’s time to give you tough love.”

Kayla groaned loudly before throwing her phone at the wall, cracking her screen. She blew air through her cheeks while angrily wiping tears from her eyes. Erik was reading to blow a fucking casket. He tilted his head at Kayla, his eyes searching hers, silently asking her why she would do that?

“Forget the dance, forget having your phone for the remainder of the school year, you will no longer hang with Trinny, you will come straight home from practice to focus on school and that’s it. The TV, OFF, you have no privileges, FUCKING NONE I am tired we did not raise you to be disrespectful and unappreciative. I’m serious about this, Kayla, I am done, I am fucking done, do you hear me, fucking done, do you understand what I am saying? Do you see the seriousness in my tone...my face?!!!!”

A single tear fell from Kayla’s eye while she stared at her father as if he were a stranger. He looked at her with this disgusted expression like he couldn’t believe that she is his daughter; that he created her. He looked like he wanted to disown her. All of this over a few raunchy photos. Kayla didn’t believe it was that serious of an issue to punish her so extensively. 

“I guess I should just find a new family since my parents are so damn extra-

“WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY?” Erik stormed over to Kayla, “REPEAT THAT?”

Kayla swallowed spit nervously, “...I just feel like this is going too far...It’s just photos, Dad, that’s all.”

Erik chuckled dryly before bending down to pick up Kayla’s cell from the floor, “take that shit off and get yourself together, it’s late,” he spoke with malice before walking out of Kayla’s room, leaving the door wide open. 

___________________

Y/N walked through the front door, tossing her keys in a ceramic bowl that Kayla created in her art class during her freshman year of high school. She wore a change of clothes so that she wouldn’t bring germs home from the workplace. She could smell dinner and her mouth instantly watered. Walking through her living room area Y/N could hear Erik talking to someone in the kitchen. When she finally entered Erik was sitting at the kitchen island talking to Delia, Y/N’s younger sister. 

“Hey, sis,” Delia stood up to give Y/N a quick hug, “Erik called me over so we could talk about Kayla.”

“Hey babe,” Y/N gave Erik a chaste kiss before walking over to the stove, opening the top to the green beans and inhaling, “So what are we discussing exactly? Her photos or her overall disregard?”

“All of it,” Erik says while holding a water bottle in his hand, “I filled Delia in on everything that’s been going on here with Kay Kay-

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Delia spoke defensively, “I haven’t spoken to you in about a month and the first thing I hear is that my niece is being defiant and grown.”

“These are our issues, Delia. All you’re gonna do is go back to mama and tell her what’s going on and you know she can’t keep her mouth shut for shit. Then, I’ll have the whole damn family calling me, asking me what I’m doing wrong and how I should handle it. Kayla is my daughter.””

“Maybe that’s what you need right now because clearly what you’re doing isn’t working,” Delia shared a quick look with Erik, “Erik and I were talking and we think Kayla should spend the summer with Aunt Edwertta. She can use the isolation-

“Aunt Edwertta is a pastor’s wife who will do nothing but shame Kayla. Plus, ever since she said that I don’t have love for my family I don’t talk to her. She criticizes everything I do, she talks about how her kids are these wealthy people like we’re trash. She can mind her business too and worry about what fine China set she wants to eat on for dinner.”

“Baby,” Erik stood from his seat at the counter, “It might be a good idea. We punish her, take things away, yell, repeatedly tell her what not to do and nothing is working. This might be a good idea-

“Erik, I don’t need you to tell me what’s good for Kayla-

“Kayla is MY CHILD as well, Y/N...we make decisions together,” Erik spoke sternly while jabbing his finger against the kitchen counter. 

“Funny, you and Delia must be the new married couple because both of you made a decision without me.” 

“I’m not trying to overstep,” Delia looked between Erik and Y/N, “she’s my niece, and I care about her.”

“Teh,” Y/N walks away to grab a plate, “Her auntie or her friend? What made you change your mind?”

“Seriously, Y/N?” Delia was immortalized with fury, “Just because me and YOUR daughter are close doesn’t mean that I don’t worry about what the fuck she is out here doing-

“CHILL OUT,” Erik stood between both women that are much smaller than him, “I asked Delia over so she could tell me if there is anything else we need to know about Kay, especially with Trinny.”

“Trinny is all up and down her page,” Delia pulls out her cell, “I checked out the girls page and she’s pretty popular on IG with like 250K followers.”

Delia gives Y/N her phone to look at Trinny’s page. Trinny looked like a 25 year old girl with the way she dressed. This isn’t the influence that Kayla needed. Y/N goes back to Kayla’s page and sees the photos, turning the phone screen around to show Erik. His jaw clenched painfully while staring at the pictures. 

David_05: Damn, this is Kayla?! 👀 shawty got a phatty.

TrinnyVasquez_xoxo: THATS MY SEXY BEST FRIEND! @Dman_theRealest do you see your girl?

Dman_theRealest: SHEESH! I hope you’re coming to my party I need to see this in person, hit my phone light skin 😈

“She was taking more photos in her room when I went to get her phone...I think she was sending them to Donte,” Erik gives Delia her phone back.

“Where is her phone, let’s check,” Y/N impatiently held her hand out towards Erik for him to give her Kayla’s phone. Digging into the pocket of his jeans, Erik carefully places Kayla’s phone into Y/N’s hand since the screen was shattered completely.

“SHE DID THIS?!” Y/N examined the phone with hysterical eyes, “We just bought her this phone!”

“She won’t be needing it...just be careful looking through it so you don’t cut yourself.”

Delia and Y/N go to Kayla’s camera roll, finding just three photos of her showing an ample amount of cleavage with the same tiny bikini top on. She’s licking her lips seductively while staring into the camera. With her heart thumping painfully in her chest, Y/N goes to Kayla’s inbox and finds a message thread with Donte.

“She sent them to him…” Y/N spoke with a defeated voice, “Oh my God-

“WHAT?” Erik looked like he was ready to punch a wall.

“He sent her a picture of his...well, you know.”

“Oh hell nah!!! Little nigga sending my daughter dick pictures?!! Fuck that!!! KAYLA!”

“Shhhh, Erik no,” Y/N tried to stop him, “We will talk with her later-

“Ain’t no later she got some explaining to do! What if she’s having sex, Y/N? How will you feel then?”

“You know Donte’s father, you can have a talk with him tomorrow while you assist coach their practice,” Y/N reasons, “Man to man. For all we know Kayla probably didn’t see the photos yet since you took her phone-

“But he is sending them to MY daughter. I will gladly rough this little ass boy up, Y/N, I don’t care how old he is,” Erik tries to walk past Y/N but she stops him, “The boy is a JOKE. The shit I hear him talk about…no.” 

“I’m going to go,” Delia grabs her shoulder bag that she purchased from a friend’s boutique, “I’m sorry if I intruded. Y/N, Erik, please keep me posted on everything. I have to pick up Amar from day care.”

“...okay,” Y/N gives her sister a quick hug. 

Delia makes her way out of the house, leaving Y/N in the kitchen with her arms around Erik’s waist to calm him down.

___________

Sitting at the long extendable dining table, Kayla accepts her plate filled with a healthy portion of food. Y/N sat across from her, playing with the remaining green beans on her plate with her fork. Erik was at the head of the table chewing his food slowly while looking between his daughter and his wife. The tension was so thick a machete would have a hard time cutting through it. Kayla reaches for her glass of lemonade to wash down the potatoes, spilling some on her pajama top. She reached for some napkins placed in the middle of the table at the same time her mother did, their fingers touching. Kayla flinched, withdrawing her hand quickly. 

Y/N noticed her actions, dropping her fork on her plate with a loud clanking. Kayla looked up through her lashes at her mother before rolling her eyes with a shake of her head. Erik ran his tongue across his upper teeth while giving Kayla a death glare. Kayla could feel the heat of her father's eyes almost burning a whole into the flesh of her temple but she ignored it. Sitting in front of her mother after eavesdropping on her and Aunt Delia looking through her phone made her want to scream and pull her hair. Donte sent her a dick pic that she didn’t get a chance to see because her father walked into her room without knocking. 

“Kayla, don’t you have something to say to your mother?” Erik says, his deep authoritative voice loud in her ear even though he sat further away.

“I’m sorry,” Kayla says dismissively.

“Let’s try that again,” Erik says, “Apologize.”

Kayla looks up at her mother, seeing the hurt in her eyes. She is cowardly in her chair, unable to look at her face any longer.

“I apologize, ma, I’m sorry for yelling and cussing at you, I’m sorry for disrespecting you, I’m just truly sorry.”

Y/N couldn’t fight her tears, “Why do you do this? Is it Trinny? Does she tell you to act like this?”

“No…” Kayla didn’t sound too sure of her response, “It’s all me.”

“Are you covering for her?” Y/N asked with a shaky voice.

“Trinny has nothing to do with this, okay? I’m just tired of being sheltered, I’m tired of being treated like a five year old; can’t wear certain things, can’t go certain places, can’t talk to boys, no privacy at all. Y’all don’t understand...I’m not a little girl anymore...I want freedom.”

“Freedom to do what?” Erik says with his brows raised and a smirk on his face, “You’re 16, what’s out there for you at 16? Trust me, I know what’s out there. I was 16 before. I think you’re covering for Trinny and that scares me. She was prancing around in a bikini in front of my my face, trying to get my attention sexually-

“Oh really?” Y/N leans back in her dining chair, folding her arms across her chest, “So not only is she out here acting like she’s a grown ass woman she’s trying to seduce your father?!”

“Trinny is all jokes, she’s goofy and wild that’s it.” Kayla tries to defend.

“Jokes?! What does she say to you about us, Kay? Come on, there is no need in hiding it either way we will find out.” Y/N says.

“She thinks dad is cute but I told her to stop, Trinny wouldn’t actually try anything,” Kayla shakes her head with annoyance.

“Remind me to pay a visit to Trinny’s house to talk to her parents,” Y/N spoke more so to Erik before pushing her plate away, “That little girl is problematic.”

“Mom...please,” Kayla looked worried.

“Why are you taking up for her?! Do you need her approval or something?” 

“You don’t get it,” Kayla stood up from the table, “I’m not hungry anymore-

“Sit down and eat because you won’t be coming down here in the middle of the night to eat,” Erik says while sipping his lemonade, “Trinny is popular, right? You want to be popular? Known? Trinny took you under her wing and now you will do whatever it takes to keep that up...correct?”

It was written all over Kayla’s face. I guess being the school athlete wasn’t enough. No surprise honestly. Trinny is beautiful, popular, definitely having sex and those are all the things that Kayla fed off of. Trinny wanted to mold Kayla into a replication of herself. 

“You don’t have to respond, I already know,” Erik says while forking some salmon, “Tomorrow, I’m going to have a talk with Donte’s father. I already spoke to him and I’ll be discussing with him about what Donte did.”

“Dad no!” Kayla panicked, “Please! If somebody finds out I will be clowned forever!”

“Kayla, what do you expect us to do?” Y/N says, “Enough is enough, he shouldn’t be sending you anything like that to your phone-

“Oh yeah, I almost forgot you snooped through my phone again, typical,” Kayla fires back with hard eyes, “What’s next? Implanting a chip in my arm to see where I go when I’m not home?”

“Who the FUCK are you smart mouthing? Erik…” Y/N’s hands shook, “I’m telling you...get your daughter, get her now.”

“Take your food upstairs, Kay. Clearly this punishment isn’t sinking in. Y/N, I’m sending her to Aunt Edwertta’ for spring break.” Erik wasn’t asking, he was telling. Y/N didn’t argue with him. Maybe sending her there will do something for her. 

“Auntie Edwertta? What?!!” Kayla stood from her seat almost knocking the chair down, “I don’t want to stay with her!!!”

“You don’t have a choice in the matter,” Erik stands, grabbing all of their plates, piling it up, “Get some sleep, you have school in the morning.” 

Kayla stormed away, rushing up the stairs. Y/N finally exhaled before the tears began to fall. 

“Hey,” Erik’s large hand on her back rubbing it in circles made her cry harder, “We have to try every approach, baby. We’ll call your aunt and ask her. Since spring break is in two weeks we can drive Kayla up there and get her settled in. Baby, shh shh, hey, look at me,” Erik crouched down in front of Y/N turning her face towards his, “It’ll be okay...she’s still our baby girl…”

Y/N pressed her forehead against Erik’s while he thumbed away her tears. He kissed her all over her face before wrapping his arms tightly around her waist.

“What if this doesn’t work? What if she goes up there and tries to sneak away?”

“Aye, let’s not think bad thoughts,” Erik strokes Y/N’s hair back, “we have to try first, don’t we?”

“I know I know,” Y/N sniffles, “I just wish it didn’t have to come to this.”

“What else do we have?” Erik says with a soft, soothing tone. 

_________

“Damn! What kind of shit is that? I can’t even remember the last time I was punished. Your parents are like correctional officers. Eat this time, sleep this time, study this time, like what the fuck?!” 

Kayla was sitting on her roof, way past her bedtime. Her parents forgot to confiscate her iPad that she got as a gift from her Aunt Delia. 

“They don’t want me hanging with you anymore. This may even be our last conversation, girl.”

“...what?” Trinny’s face frowned, “What the fuck did I do?”

“Well...they think that you are a bad influence on me,” Kayla dramatically rolls her eyes into her head.

“WOW,” Trinny rolls her eyes, “Mr. Erik ain’t my future baby daddy anymore, IM KIDDING CHILL OUT!”

“I don’t know how many times I have to tell you that shit is nasty and I don’t like you referring to my father in that way.”

“Whatever, the party was lit by the way, too bad you didn’t make it,” Trinny pouts on the phone. Donte was expecting to see you but I kept him company so it was cool.”

Kayla squinted her eyes at Trinny, “Kept him company doing what?”

“We just chilled, played Uno, had some drinks, you know, my special daquiris. Everybody was asking for you!”

Kayla felt uneasy, “I told you, my parents don’t want me hanging with you anymore, Trinny.”

“You’re your own person, I don’t make you do shit. You wanna hang with me, that's your decision...I can’t stand your bitch ass mom,” Trinny laughs.

Kayla mugs Trinny, “Listen, I don’t like this shit either but my mom isn’t a bitch, okay? Don’t call her that...if anything I can not you.”

“Oh so NOW I can’t call her that? Girl, fuck outta here. She’s a bitch and if she says anything to my parents it’s a problem, PERIOD.”

“What the fuck? Why are you popping off? I said what I said, that’s it on that,” Kayla says getting buck on FaceTime.

“Listen, you called me to vent. So whatever you got going on leave that shit over there. Don’t FaceTime me on some rah rah like you’re big and bad,” Trinny yelled into her phone, “You know what, why don’t you go ahead and hang up, you punished, right? Go to bed baby boo.” 

Kayla hangs up, ready to throw her iPad off the roof and into their pool but instead she looks up into the starry sky, tears welling up in her brown eyes. Looks like she lost a friend. She has other friends but it was something about hanging with Trinny. She wasn’t looked at as the good girl, the nerdy girl, the boring girl. Quickly, Kayla made it back inside of her bedroom, closing her window behind her. She placed her iPad in her hiding place before slipping beneath her covers, tucking herself in. She is afraid to face Trinny and Donte tomorrow at school. Closing her eyes, Kayla forces herself to fall asleep, her brain trying its best to ward off nightmares. 

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[wienerbarnes]

Telephone Line

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 1,449

Warnings: pretty sad ngl but not angst, mentions of death, mentions of cancer, these warnings sound bad but i promise its just kinda sad lol

A/N: ngl even i dont know where this came from lol but ill prob make a pt 2? if the idea i have strikes enough material for another part. enjoy anyways tho!

MAIN MASTERLIST

A deep orange hue shines through the cracks of his blinds as Bucky looks at the new shiny exterior of his new iPhone. Being too reckless on a mission led him to a cell phone cracked in two, resulting in him having to spend four hours at the Apple store all the way in Manhattan, quite a ways away from his apartment upstate.

Low trumpets flow softly through the speakers of his record player, a bold blue box that Sharon gifted him this year for his birthday. He hums to Marvin Gaye as he goes through the device in front of him, setting up account after account, typing in password after password. Gaye was a few decades after his time, but he won’t let it show in front of Sam how much he enjoys his music. 

He downloads the mindless puzzle games he had on his previous phone and is thankful that the contacts that were in his old phone were able to be transferred for him. 

He locks the phone and sets it aside before taking out the small sketchbook from the drawer in his desk. He also grabs a pencil from the cup sitting on the corner of the wood and flips his book open to a fresh page. A new hobby Bucky’s picked up since Steve’s passing. 

His real passing. Not the one everyone sold to the world in order for him to live the rest of his life in peace in a cabin far away, probably crowded in trees and flowers; perhaps the house is where a rainbow begins or where the sky rains golden droplets. Bucky wouldn’t know, he never visited after seeing Steve as an old man after he returned the stones. 

There wasn’t anger; Bucky and Steve spoke about his plans before he left and Bucky was happy for him, he was finally getting the life he deserved after so much time spent doing the “right” thing, and not what he wanted. It was a situation of feeling… weird and awkward around this new Steve. It was a completely different Steve with different experiences, different memories. A family. Kids and grandkids and great-grandkids. Photos probably hung on the walls of the house of people he wouldn’t recognize. He always wondered what happened to him in Steve's timeline. In other words, he wonders if Steve rescued him from Hydra and spared him the eighty years of torture. He wonders if there’s any pictures of him in Steve’s house. For Bucky, it became, “I’ll go visit him another day,” until, well, there weren’t any more chances. 

A sketch of what he can remember Times Square to look like from this afternoon appears on the paper. Rough lines shaping out tall buildings and people, small squares to outline the pavement, bigger boxes to indicate the shapes of the numerous cars that filled the area. He reaches for his box of colored pencils in the side-drawer of the desk when the generic ringtone of his new phone belts out loudly.

A number that isn’t saved into his phone appears on the screen. A Brooklyn area code. Maybe all the contacts didn’t transfer themselves.

“Hello,” Bucky answers after swiping his right pointer finger along the slide bar.

A hitch of feminine breath is heard before a few seconds of silence, before the three beeps signaling the caller hung up. Probably an accident.

Bucky goes to pick up his pencil again before the tone is heard once more, the same number on the screen. An eyebrow quirks upwards and he answers the phone again.

“...Hello?” Bucky says once more. Again, he’s met with silence before being hung up on. Maybe not an accident, maybe a prank caller. I’ve had the phone for maybe six minutes and this is already happening.

The same number calls for a third time and Bucky debates even answering this time. He lets it ring three times before answering.

“Hello?” He asks, met with silence. “Listen, I’m not in the mood for prank callers, so if you don’t mind-”

“Who is this?” A quiet feminine voice finally answers through the speaker against his ear.

“Who is- What do you mean who is this? Lady, you called me first!” Bucky responds, already exasperated with the conversation.

“How did you get this phone number?” She asks, voice shakier than the first time she spoke.

“I got a new phone and they gave it to me? How else do you get phone numbers?”

“No, no, no. You don’t understand. This-this is my husband's number. It can’t be your new number!” The woman responds, voice cracking this time.

“Okay, okay, hey, relax. Maybe there was a mistake? Maybe your husband received a different phone number?” Bucky offers, not really wanting to play Tech Support as he draws to wind down his day before dinner.

“No! There wasn’t a mistake, my-my husband is dead! This was his phone number and-and-and I call it everyday once I-I get out of work! How did you get this number, why did they give his away?!” Pants and shaky breaths are heard between almost every other word as you start audibly crying on the phone.

Bucky’s eyes widen, not expecting that explanation. Great, a fruit gave away her husband to me.

“Hey, okay, take a breath.” Bucky suggests, and waits for her breathing to become a little more regular before continuing. “I’m sorry they gave me your husband’s number, it was randomly selected. I mean, I hope it wasn’t the last thing you had of his voice?” Bucky tries to offer.

“Of course it’s not,” You reply, voice sounding calmer now. “I just wasn’t expecting them to give away his number like that, it stayed for a few weeks so I thought,” a humorless chuckle, “I thought they’d let me keep it.”

“I’m really sorry about your husband. I, uh,” Bucky hesitates, questioning if he should be telling this emotionally unstable widow about his personal life, but continues anyway, “I recently lost someone important to me, as well. My best friend.” Bucky confesses, fingers toying with the circular edge of the back of the colored pencil.

A pause, “Can you tell me about him?”

“He, um, was a good guy. Real selfless. He was uh,” Bucky thinks of how to talk about Steve without actually leading to the fact that he’s talking about the former Captain America, “He was a bit older than me, and he passed away from health problems. Heart problems.” Bucky comes up, technically not a lie, his heart did stop when he died.

A small sniffle, “My husband passed away from lung cancer. The doctors told me there was no other hope for him; he needed a machine to help him breathe and a bunch of tubes in him to help him do everything else. So I asked the doctors to just…” You trail off.

A sudden deep sigh escapes her, the raspiness of her voice heard through the speaker and flows into his ear, “Sorry, I probably sound like a crazy person right now, calling her dead husband everyday just to hear his seven second voicemail.” You apologize, another humorless laugh following your words. 

“I don’t think you’re crazy. I think you’re just trying to cope the best way you can. You miss him.” Bucky objects, still toying with the purple colored pencil in his hand.

“Um, yea.” You respond, probably not even expecting Bucky to actually listen to your rambling.

“What’s your name?” You ask.

“James.”

“Of course it is,” You mumble, eyes closing on the other side of the call.

“What was that?” 

“I said, of course it is. That was my husband’s name, too.”

A sympathetic smile pulls at his mouth, even though you can’t see it.

“Listen, if you even want to call again, I don’t mind. I can either listen in silence, or we can talk, or, whatever you want. It’s okay.”

“Thanks, James. That’s nice of you.” You say, voice watery, but Bucky doesn’t mention it.

“I’ll, uh, let you go, James. Sorry for any bother.” He can tell you’re struggling to hold back tears with the way your voice is straining.

“No bother at all. Have a good rest of your night, okay?” Bucky bids her, hoping she will, but accepting that there’s a good chance this poor woman will be in tears for the rest of her evening.

“You, too.”

A couple seconds of silence follow before the call ends. Bucky sighs, locking his phone once more. He picks up the pencil in front of him, ignoring the small tremor in his fingers, and presses the pencil to the paper.

He thinks about her for the rest of the night.

[all-hail-the-witcher]

hello, this is your fbi agent

okay so i have no explanation for this im sorry

____

ship: ralbert

genre: crack with memes

warnings: first person (????), memes, more memes, this is not related to spies, the worst crack and even worse writing, idk fam

editing: ha

words: 1099

____

*record scratch*

*freeze frame*

Yes, that’s me, Albert Dasilva, sitting behind a desk, spying on someone through their phone camera for the FBI. You’re probably wondering how i ended up in this situation. Well, frankly, I am too. I always knew that I was a walking meme, but I never thought that I would actually become one.

See, I had just finished college and, like most college graduates, was looking for a job. One of my friends who asked to remain nameless *ahem* jAcK keLLy, told me to apply to work at the FBI because apparently you only need a college degree to do that. And me, being the dumbass that I am, decided to do it as a joke cause fuck it, why would they ever hire someone who had been arrested for stealing oats and cream cheese from Target when they were 14? (Alright fine, I technically wasn't arrested, the cop was clearly caffeine deprived and let us off with a warning. Although they didn't catch us the one time Jack and I stole one of the Target balls in broad fucking daylight. Wait. Forget I said that. I’m a good wholesome Christian child and have never stolen anything, anything I may or may not have told you was a blatant lie.)

Plot twist, they fucking hired me.

(Jack got a real kick out of that, believe me.)

And, as part of my intern training, I had to do only the most memey job on the whole internet:

Watch people through their phone cameras.

Yes! We actually exist! This is not just some dumb meme that the internet made up! And I would know, because the idiot I’m assigned to watch doesn’t sleep so therefore I don't sleep and I have the dark undereye circles to prove it!

God, I want a fucking nap.

But no, instead I’m watching an idiot look up fucking lazytown quotes at two in the fucking morning.

*muffled shouting* Oh, and he’s hot. Thanks for reminding me, Jack. Not like that's WHY IM WRITING THIS YOU ASSHOLE!

*deep breath* Okay, anyway. Back to the story.

Why am I doing this?

Right. Cause I hate myself, that’s why.

Anyway. The kid that I have to watch through his phone camera. His name is Race. And no, before you ask, I do not know why he goes by Race. It’s not my business. I only watch his every move on the Internet, I don't know his whole life story! What kind of organization do you think the FBI is, huh?

Just kidding, we definitely know your whole life story and its definitely recorded in three different places, one of which is a vault hidden under Argentina. But you didn't hear that from me.

*more muffled shouting*

Jack is telling me that I’m “beating around the bush too much and need to get to the point.” Fine. I know that’s what you came here for anyway.

In short, it was a stormy night and the power had gone out, but I, a dedicated FBI intern who did not want to lose my only source of income, was using my rapidly dying iPhone to watch my assigned civilian through his phone camera. That night, the man had looked especially enchanting, the light from his phone illuminating his luscious blonde curls and accentuating his deep blue eyes, making it seem as though I could drown in their-

Okay this just sounds like shitty Wattpad fanfic. Is tHAT WHAT YOU WANTED JACK?! Also I don't know what Wattpad fanfic is like because I’ve personally read any. I spy on people through their phone cameras alright, I’ve seen a whole lot of weird shit.

Essentially, what happened was I caught some feelings. And, my supervisor figured this out by reading my weekly reports and told me essentially to “tell him you like him so you can go on a date and I can reassign you so that I don't have to keep reading these lovey dovey reports because they make my brain turn to mush.”

Thanks for that Katherine. Love you too.

And now, here I am, having this fan tas tic  monologue while trying to figure out how to compose a text message.

(Before you ask how I have Race’s phone number, I work for the FBI. There’s a lot of information I have that any normal citizen would want. Like what is actually kept in Area 51 (baby iPhones), if mothman is real (he is and secretly is the president of the United States), and if Canada is real (its not). But you shouldn’t trust any of this information because I work for the FBI and I could be lying to you.)

Here’s what I have so far:

Hi Race. My name is Albert and you might not believe this but I am actually the FBI agent in your phone...yes, we exist. I’ve spent the last 5 months watching you and I think you're kinda cool and pretty cute and was wondering if you would like to meet up some time. (Also stop looking up lazy town quotes at 2 am, I now have the whole show memorized because of you.)

Overall, it’s not bad, but there’s some things that I think could be improved and- wait, Jack, nO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING STOP GIVE THAT BACK I’M NOT FINISHED!!

*10 minutes later*

He sent it. Jack sent my fucking message before it was fuking finished and now Race isn’t going to fucking respond and I’m going to be alone forever and Katherine is going to reassign me and I’m never going to see Race’s angelic face ever again and-

Oh.

He responded?

What the hell?

Honestly, I guess I should have seen that coming. Race has no common sense.

What? I’m allowed to say that! I spend my days looking at what he googles, alright!

Anyway, I’m sure you're dying to know what he said, so here it is:

Hi Albert! You better not be trolling me because this has been the biggest and I oop moment I’ve ever had. Please tell me that you haven’t exposed my two am lazy town search sessions to the public. No one is supposed to know about that. And yes, I would love to meet up with you. Mostly to apologize for my google search history and for the memes (hehe) but also because anyone who can spy on me for 5 months without going to therapy than maybe you can actually put up with my craziness! Xx Race.

Huh.

Maybe this job isn’t so bad after all...

____

im so sorry please dont unfollow me

feedback is always appreciated, hmu to be on the taglist

tag list

@fairly-awkward-trashcan​

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@racetrackcook​

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@stopthe-presses​

@ridin-in-style​

@pinecovewoods​

@i-got-no-clue-what-im-doing​

@getchapapes

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@stellar-alpaca​

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@writing-makes-me-antsy

[milofuckedup]

Questionnaire; task 2

read more about my boy under the cut

Basic Character Questions

First name?  Milo

Last names? Blevins

Middle names? Dean

Nicknames? Mi, Mimi, Spacey

Date of birth? September 9th 1996

Age? 23

Physical / Appearance

Height? 6″0

Build? Athletic, lanky

Hair colour? Honey Brunette

Hair style? Mess of locks across his head

Eye colour? Blue

Glasses or contact lenses? Neither

Scars or birthmarks? cigarette burns across his arms, a scar above his right eye

Tattoos? none

Physical or mental handicaps? none

Type of clothes? thrift store chic. He lives in light washed jeans and old button down shirts

Race / Ethnicity? caucasian 

Mannerisms? fidgety, stuttery, always rubbing his lips 

Personality

What words or phrases do they overuse? “im sorry” “lets play a game” “can we go home?”

Do they have a catchphrase? No

Are they more optimistic or pessimistic? pessimistic

Are they introverted or extroverted? VERY introverted

Do they ever put on airs? no

What bad habits do they have? smoking, drinking, running away 

What makes them laugh out loud? just about everything

How do they display affection? gently nuzzling his head into you, resting his head on your shoulder, holding your hand. He likes to be touched softly

How do they want to be seen by others? like a nice person, someone who loves deeply and genuinely 

How do they see themselves? as actual human garbage 

Strongest character trait? sensitivity 

Weakest character trait? sensitivity 

How competitive are they? not at all

Do they make snap judgements or take time to consider? he over things EVERYTHING

How do they react to praise? awkwardly

How do they react to criticism? crying

What is their greatest fear? spiders

What are their biggest secrets? he is sure that everyone in his life hates him, they all want him gone, so he works with everything that he has to try and get people to stay

When was the last time they cried? right now, he is probably crying this moment. 

What haunts them? his father

What will they stand up for? his friends, his loved ones, never himself

Are they indoorsy or outdoorsy? indoorsy

What is their sinful little habit? chainsmoker 

What quality do they most value in a friend? honesty, loyalty, wont leave him

What do they consider an overrated virtue? Dignity 

If they could change one thing about themselves, what would it be? his inability to speak about what he wants, what he likes, what he needs from someone

What is their obsession? reading

What are their pet peeves? people biting their nails. 

Friends and Family

Is their family big or small? Who does it consist of? hes all alone. 

What is their perception of family? that it isnt who you are born with it is who you chose. 

Do they have siblings? Older or younger? none

Describe their best friend. Luna Olsson she is selfless, and thoughtful and has picked Milo up more times than he can count, she is the on person on this planet he trusts enough to live with, he loves her more than he thought he could, he has let her in more than anyone else. 

Ideal best friend? See Above

Describe their other friends. Hudson the person he always turns to when life gets too tough. Tanner  the man that he can always have fun with, turn his brain off with and just let himself breathe with. Rion someone who has always been perfect and loving and gentle with him. 

Do they have any pets? no 

Past and Future

What was your character like as a baby? As a child? he was a quiet baby, and a well behaved child, he did everything that he could to get his mother to stop abandoning him  

Did they grow up rich or poor? DIRT poor

Did they grow up nurtured or neglected? neglected 

What is their greatest achievement? staying alive

What was their first kiss like? awkward, fumbly, he threw up afterwards because his stomach was in knots

What is the worst thing they did to someone they loved? make them feel like they were second best

What are their ambitions? maybe get his GED one day

What advice would they give their younger self? its all shit, dont even bother trying

What smells remind them of their childhood? burning tires, old gas stations, and piss under bridges

What was their childhood ambition? to stay alive

What is their best childhood memory? his 10th birthday his best friend came over with a cupcake and remembered the day while his mom was drugged up on the couch

What is their worst childhood memory? take your fuckin pick. 

Did they have an imaginary childhood friend? no

When was the last time they were crushed with disappointment? every day 

What past act are they most ashamed of? any time he has ever been intimate with someone 

What past act are they most proud of? any time he has been intimate with someone 

Love

Do they believe in love at first sight? no 

Are they in a relationship? no 

How do they behave in a relationship? like a lovesick puppy, very clingy, very needy, asks if they still love him every twenty five seconds 

When did you character last have sex? two years ago

Has your character ever been in love? yes

Have they ever had their heart broken? yes

Conflict

How do they respond to a threat? tears

Are they most likely to fight with their fists or their tongue? his tongue 

If your character could only save one thing from their burning house, what would it be? the teddy bear his grandma gave him

What do they love to hate? reality television 

What are their phobias? spiders, the dark, being alone

What living person do they most despise? no one 

Have they ever been bullied or teased? his whole life 

Where do they go when they’re angry? on a long drive to the next town over 

Who are their enemies and why? he doesnt like to have any 

Work, Education and Hobbies

What is their current job? gas station clerk 

What do they think about their current job? he hates it

What are some of their past jobs? gas station clerk, thief, drug dealer

What are their hobbies? reading, writing, singing 

Educational background? didnt get ANY formal education

Do they have a natural talent for something? singing 

Do they play a sport? Are they any good? god no 

What is their socioeconomic status? lower lower lower class 

Favourites

What is their favourite animal? cats 

What place would they most like to visit? england 

What is the most beautiful thing they’ve ever seen? the beach at night 

What is their favourite song? halloween - hunny 

Music, art, reading preferred? music: indie. Art: abstract. Reading: character studies 

What is their favourite color? green

Favourite food: chicken tenders and fries

What is their favourite day of the week? friday night

Possessions

What is in their fridge: ketchup, sauces, lemons

What is on their bedside table? books, a glass of water 

What is in their car? absolutely nothing

What is in their purse or wallet? his id, and his library card

What is in their pockets? a packet of gum, his phone, his empty wallet, his keys, two rings that he takes on and off 

What is their most treasured possession? his book collection

Spirituality

Who or what is your character’s guardian angel? doesnt have one

Do they believe in the afterlife? no

What are their religious views? none

What do they think heaven is? a full fridge and your best friends 

What do they think hell is? other people

Are they superstitious? no 

What would they like to be reincarnated as? a house cat

How would they like to die? car accident or sleep 

What is your character’s spirit animal? field mouse

What is their zodiac sign? virgo

Values

What do they think is the worst thing that can be done to a person? abandonment 

When did they last lie? he doesnt really lie, he mainly omits truths

what is their view of lying? he hates it, thinks its despicable 

When did they last make a promise? last week 

Did they keep or break their last promise? he broke it

Daily life

What are their eating habits? whenever he can, he will eat whatever is in front of him. 

Do they have any allergies? pollen 

Describe their home. small, dingey, covered in books, a bed on the floor, empty fridge 

Are they minimalist or a clutter hoarder? clutter hoarder 

What do they do first thing on a weekday morning? sleep, he just finished the night shift

What do they do on a Sunday afternoon? go for a walk and take a picnic

What do they do on a Friday night? stay in and read

What is the soft drink of choice? sprite

What is their alcoholic drink of choice? whiskey neat

Miscellaneous

Who is their hero? he doesnt have any

What or who would your character dress up as for Halloween? dracula

If they could save one person, who would it be?

If they could call one person for help, who would it be?

What is their greatest extravagance? he owns an iphone 5 

What is their greatest regret? hurting angel @angclhqs​

What would they do if they won the lottery? buy a house, donate the rest

Do they believe in happy endings? no 

What is their idea of perfect happiness? a good book, electricity on, and a cup of tea 

What would they ask a fortune teller? how long until I am content

If your character could travel through time, where would they go? 2200 

If they could have a superpower, what would they choose? invisibility 

[bakugou-loving-hours]

19. Free Prompt- High, how are you?

Pairing: Kirishima/ Bakugou, barely

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 1929

Summary: Bakugou gets stupid when he’s high, but he’s kinda stupid when he’s not high too. At least when reading Kirishima.

Additional Tags: drug use, extra long ficlet because I done goofed on day 16, alternatively titled: Let’s Be Honest With Ourselves, We’re Way Too High To Drive

High, How are you?

“Is this like…” Mina’s mouth hung open, “... like, a… uh…”

Sero snickered from the floor.

“Stop, listen,” her eyes drooped closed and her mouth lazily grew into a smile.

“Like one of those fuckin… ah… those things ya know?”

“Yeah,” Kirishima answered her. His own lazy smile growing, a giggle slipping past his lips.

“No, no,” she threw out her hand and waved him off. “The ones with… uh…”

Bakugou huffed. Everything was so slow. So lazy.

“Fuck,” she laughed.

“Just give up,” Kirishima dropped his head into her lap.

“God, it's like I… uh…” she cut herself off again.

“Numbed your brain,” Bakugou supplied. Feeling just as numb from the neck up.

“Yeah. That,” she laughed.

Bakugou leaned down from his chair and held the joint up to Sero's lips.

“Take a fuckin sip babe.”

Sero's eyes shot open like the scene from the horror flick they watched the last time they all did this.

He took a quick drag and held it. Closed his eyes again like he was dead to the world.

Only after Bakugou passed the joint to Kirishima did he finally let it out. A thick stream of smoke the only indication Sero was even breathing.

“I'm gonna make beefaroni,” Kaminari sat up from his spot on the floor. He managed to get to his knees, wobbling and then pausing before flopping back down. “On second thought, I'm just… gonna continue laying here.”

“Smort,” Kirishima blew smoke toward Mina's face.

She blinked and then scowled down at him, “Just pass it you pain.”

“So touchy,” the transfer was seamless. Years of practice while high certainly helped.

“Here,” Bakugou threw something in Kaminari's general direction.

The reaction time was less than stellar. Kaminari's arm jerking a good minute after the bag landed next to his head.

It took another full minute before he finally gripped it and brought the bag to his face.

“Oh Bakubro. You really know how to treat a boy.”

“Just dont eat all of them.”

Kaminari opened the bag of hot cheetos from the wrong end, emptying a handful out on his chest and dropping the bag next to him.

“Isn't bright orange supposed to stop us from eating something?” he raised a single cheeto and stared.

Sero let out a small laugh, “I'm in danger.”

Kirishima threw his arm over the front of the couch, resting his hand flat on Sero's face.

Sero sighed.

“Breath through the gas mask buddy and you'll be fine,” Kirishima said.

Sero shot a quick thumbs up.

“I think he meant the cheetos Kiri,” Kaminari crunched down.

“No way, why would the cheetos be in danger?”

“No, the color,” Bakugou chimed in.

“Are you saying the color is in danger? Now that just doesn't make sense.”

“Kiri I swear to God,” Mina handed the joint back to him. “Sometimes I feel like you do this on purpose.”

“Mina, that's supposed to go to Kaminari,” Bakugou sideyed her and leaned back.

“No… I'm pretty sure it goes to Kiri,” she responded.

“Yeah,” Kirishima coughed, sending a puff of smoke toward Bakugou's face.

“You guys always do this. I'm getting the Big Gulp.” Bakugou stood with a bit of a wobble, but managed to keep his footing. His eyes crossed and then un-crossed as he focused on the walk to his room.

“You know,” Kaminari kept talking as if Bakugou were still there, “the Big Gulp is a bright color too. Does that mean we shouldn't eat it?” He stared at another cheeto, eventually throwing it back and crunching down loudly.

“I would hope you don't try and eat it,” Bakugou came back with the piece in hand. “It's silicone. Gotta be hell for your digestion.”

“But the question still remains,” Kaminari pointed a cheeto at him. “Are cheetos any better?”

“No. You know what would be better?” Kirishima lifted his head and stared at the wall just past Kaminari's head. “Taco bell,” he said with every ounce of seriousness he could muster.

“Oh goooood yes,” Kaminari dropped his cheeto hand onto the floor beside him, with a loud thunk. Orange dust settling into the cracks of the wood.

“I knew this was coming,” Mina plucked another joint from the box on the coffee table. “Like clockwork. Kaminari gets hungry. Bakugou placates in a rare gesture of solidarity. Kirishima goes big. Kaminari agrees no matter what vomit inducing idea Kirishima has.”

“Then,” Kirishima held his lighter up to the end of Mina's joint. “Then you know what comes next, Spiderman.”

“A mad dash to find someone sober enough to drive us,” she breathed in deeply.

Bakugou coughed, bringing the big gulp to his mouth. “Or we could just…”

“Or we could just order in, Bakugou will suggest,” Mina interrupted and waved the joint around like a pointer.

“But…” Kirishima counters only to be cut off by Mina again.

“But! We'd have to pay for delivery and we’re broke college kids,” her whining mockery of Kirishima's voice cuts deep and he leers.

“How can you remember entire conversations but not what you were trying to say earlier?” Kaminari asked the hard hitting question.

Mina laughed, her eyes trying too hard to stay open.

“Well it just be like that sometimes,” Bakugou mused.

“It truly do,” Sero whispered from his spot on the floor, eyes still closed, chest still ominously still.

“What I want to know,” Kirishima took a big drag in “is how we're getting that Taco Bell.”

“We're all gonna say we're too high, argue about who's the highest, and then eventually ask your bitch roommate if he'll drive us,” Mina listed like it's been done too many times before.

“We're too hard on Tetsu,” Kirishima interjected. “He's decent enough to do our quesarito runs at least.”

“That's just cuz he wants to get in your pants buddy,” Kaminari threw a cheeto to get Kiri's attention.

“Jokes on him,” Bakugou interrupted. “Kirishima is super straight.”

Mina whipped her head around, nearly dropping the joint onto Kirishima. Kaminari even got up on his elbows and Kirishima just open mouth stared.

Sero shot up, awakening from his near coma, like a vampire sitting up in a coffin.

“What?” he asked.

Bakugou looked from face to face, “I…”

“I knew you were an oblivious gay Baku, but I didn't know you were this bad.”

“Shut up!”

“Let it be known,” Mina spoke over him, “Bakugou would be a lesbian if he weren't a gay man.”

“What does that even mean,” he squinted at her, which was just a mistake because now his eyes kept trying to close.

“It means,” Kaminari pulled another cheeto out and pointed it at Bakugou. “It means, the popular trope that lesbians can be friends with someone for years and not know if they're also a lesbian let alone into them, can be applied to the situation at hand. You, Bakugou, would be a lesbian if you were not a gay man.”

“Christ you guys are fucking stupid,” he leaned back into the Big Gulp.

“He need some milk,” Sero drawled on his way back down to the floor. A loud thunk signaled the end of his obvious consciousness.

“Bakugou's dumb high brain aside,” Kirishima had his own joint now and was waving it around with every word. “I’d blow a guy for some Taco Bell right now.”

Bakugou sputtered, choking out a smoke filled cough.

“Text Tetsu,” Kaminari threw another cheeto.

Bakugou kept coughing. Mina eventually extended her arm to slap his back.

“I don't think Bakugou likes that idea,” Sero whispered.

“Nope, text Tetsu,” Bakugou’s eyes were wide. “Get the… the Taco Bell.”

Kirishima turned on the couch, shoving his feet up and his head down. Eventually moving upside down with his head resting on Sero's stomach and his arms stretched out under the coffee table.

“Kaminari my friend,” he stretched further. “My phone’s by you I think.”

Kaminari threw a cheeto at him and squinted, “sounds like a you problem.”

“Sounds like a lotta hooplah to me,” Sero whispered from under Kirishima.

“Buddy please,” Kirishima whined, stretching just enough to nearly unseat himself.

“Cannot. Too scared,” Kaminari deadpanned.

“I just want Taco Bell,” Kirishima closed his eyes and wiped his face with his hand.

“Do you know the number? You can use my phone,” Mina held out her overly stickered pink iPhone to Kirishima while swapping the Big Gulp for her joint with Bakugou.

“Oh true,” Kirishima grabbed the phone from her hand and started typing.

“Oh,” Bakugou started mumbling to himself. “It's cool you know the fucker’s number, in case of emergencies I guess.”

“Emergency dick,” Mina pursed her lips.

Mina's phone lit up in Kirishima's hands and a trap version of the traditional Nokia ringtone started playing.

“Oh he's calling,” Kirishima’s eyes were fighting to stay open as he swiped the screen to answer the call.

“Yeah it's actually me,” he laughed into the phone. “Yeah… Yeah Taco Bell again… well maybe next time you can smoke with us… as a reward for being such a sweet roommate.”

Kirishima's smile was not lost on the group as he finished up the call.

“Oooh, Kiri has a crush,” Kaminari singsonged into his nearly emptied cheetos bag.

Kirishima side-eyed him and a small smile grew on his face.

“No crush my man, just game.”

“Yeah right,” Bakugou scoffed. “You have as much game as my left pinky.”

This time Bakugou was confident, he didn't misjudge. Only… they were all staring at him again.

“Bakugou,” Mina laid her hand on his arm. “Your experiences are not universal.”

He looked from Mina to Sero to Kaminari and then back to Kirishima. Squinting his eyes in an attempt to understand how he got Kirishima so wrong.

“I don't understand,” he whispered.

Kirishima sat back up, head back and feet squirming next to Sero's stomach. He handed Mina his joint and leaned forward to get off the couch.

“Maybe this'll help you understand.”

He took the joint from Bakugou's hand and pulled hard. He rested both hands on either side of him and blew the smoke directly into his open mouth.

“You're supposed to breath in,” Mina popped her head into his line of sight.

He knew that.

“I know that.”

Kirishima raised his eyebrows and smiled, “Let's try that one more time Katsuki.”

He took a long pull in, rested his hand back down with the lit end up, and then leaned back into Bakugou's space.

The onslaught of smoke and hot breath nearly had him forgetting to breath it in again, but then Kirishima rested his other hand on Bakugou’s arm and it sent a jolt down his spine. He breathed in too quickly and overloaded his lungs, which sent him into a coughing fit. Luckily he somehow had the forethought to shove his head into Kirishima’s neck instead of cough directly in his face. But that presented another problem when he inhaled Kirishima’s cologne.

“I think you murdered Bakugou,” Kaminari threw a handful of cheetos at Kirishima’s back. “ Aw fuck, that was my last handful.”

Bakugou bunched his hand into Kirishima’s shirt and pushed him back.

“Told you he’s got game,” Mina said under her breath. “Kind of like…”

“Oh my god shut up,” Bakugou coughed out, another wheeze that wracked his body.

Kirishima pulled back and threw himself over Mina and back onto the couch.

“Oh my god…” he looked up at Mina. “It’s like…” and her eyes went wide in recognition. “It’s like…” his hands came up to his ears and curled over. “It’s like nya.”

“I hate you all,” Bakugou wheezed.

[fatrainbowmermaidunicorn]

Dear Jungkook (Jungkook x You) // Chapter 2

MASTERLIST

Summary : (I suck in doing summary, so yeah)

Jungkook, Y/N and Jae Eun are the best of friends. While Y/N is in love with Jungkook ever since she can remember, Jungkook founds himself falling in love with her cousin, Jae Eun when Y/N introduces them a year later.When both Y/N and Jae Eun move to the States, Jungkook tried to keep in contact by emailing Jae Eun. As the emails grew constant, Jungkook is sure he’s falling more in love with the Jae Eun that he got to know through their emails.Little did he know that all these while, Y/N is the one who has been emailing him back.

Y/N and Jae Eun has been living in the States for almost seven years now. Jae Eun has successfully become the queen bee that she always wanted, with her own little clique who worships her. Y/N has grown into her looks and self confident, turning her into a beautiful young lady, no longer akward and reserved,  who is easily loved by everyone she meets. She's kind, friendly and intelligent. The two cousins might seem like a polar opposite but despite what people might think, they are the best of friends.

"Yah, Y/N, is this really Jungkook?" Jae Eun stormed into Y/N's room one day during one her lazy days spend in bed, shoving her iphone right in Y/N's face. Y/N squint her eyes and saw an article about Bangtan, the current hit idol group in K-pop, attached with a picture of Jungkook and the rest of his members right in the center of it. Y/N knows everything there is to know about this particular group. Jungkook had mention on more than several occssions about his group and his members antics in their still on going emails and online chats.

"Ye...yes," Y/N looked up to see Jae Eun smiling with glee. She can sense something bad is going to happen. Its been seven years since Jungkook's name even crossed Jae Eun's mind, why is she asking about him this time?

"You are still keeping in touch with him right? Still emailing him?" Y/N nodded and earn a chuckle from Jae Min as she plopped down beside her on the bed.

"I cant believe it has been seven years and you are still emailing him! How do you even find time for that?" Jae Min questioned and scoot in closer beside Y/N. "How come you didnt tell me that he has become this hot shot celebrity? And look at him, he is really  hot " Jae Eun tapped her fingers on Jungkook's smirking face on her phone. Y/N just keep her mouth shut, not knowing what to say. She looked at the photo, yes Jungkook is handsome. Very much so, but that is nothing compared to his mind and the way he thinks that Y/N adore so much. She look over at Jae Eun who is gawking at the photo, mentioning something about how cute the rest of the other members are too. Y/N didnt think Jae Eun even remember who Jungkook is anymore. "Anyway, since we are going back home soon, I might as well continue to email him, dont you think? It will be weird when we meet him again and I look lost," Jae Eun ponders, more to herself than directing the question to Y/N. "He still has the hots for me right?" Y/N nodded her head when Jae Eun looks straight to her face. Its true, despite being in an internationally famed idol grouo, Jungkook still seem to be very much in love with Jae Eun. At least it seems like it in the way he write the emails to Y/N. Sometimes it breaks Y/N's heart knowing that all his sweet words are meant for Jae Eun, and not for her, although she is the one who has been telling him things and sharing her own experiences all this while.  "You can stop helping me now. Thanks for your help though," Jae Min who was busy scrolling through her phone didnt even notice the change in Y/N's face. Y/N just sigh, knowing there's nothing she can do. After all, Jungkook thought he is emailing Jae Eun and he is in love with Jae Eun.

Y/N's father had mentioned that they will going back home in about a week's time for the summer. They will be spending the whole season back at home and later, both Y/N and Jae Eun can freely decide if they want to come back to the States continue to theur studies or just permanently stay home. Since the business deal that he had come there for went through, there will be a lot of back and forth trip to the States so he figured its fine if Jae Eun or Y/N decided to stay there instead of their hometown. Y/N's father is never one to forced anything onto his children and always gives them options to choose from. Y/N is both nervous and excited to come back to her beloved hometown to the point she cant get a goodnight sleep for about a week before they did. The place where she spend all her childhood and created amazing memories. The place where her mother is born and buried. Where her parents fell in love. The place where she herself fell in love.

Apparently, seven years did nothing to change her heart. Boys come and go during her years in the States, trying to win her heart, she even go out with a few of them, trying her best to move on but nothing ever worked out. No one ever succeed in taking Jungkook's place. Maybe keeping constant communication with someone you want to get over is not a good idea.

It's true that she is still emailing him even after seven years. Jungkook was so excited when she first responded, and since Jae Eun didnt show any interest to actually even open her email up to this very day, Y/N just kept on replying. And soon the lies has gotten too deep and to big for her to stop. Their friendship had gotten so real, its not possible for her to just cut him off anymore. As time goes by, her conversations with Jungkook turns more honest, and she become more of herself and less pretending to be Jae Eun. They even do more than just emailing,  chatting on the messenger when they both have the free time.

Her emails with Jungkook are the highlights of her day. Jungkook, thinking that its Jae Eun who he's having all this meaningful conversation with, shares everything. His struggles as a trainee, his first performance, concert, tour, his favorite band, his daily activities, everything. Jungkook has constantly asked for a video call, or maybe a photo, wanting to put a face to the person he's been talking to. Y/N, trying her best to dodge the truth, always send him a photo of both herself and Jae Eun together and decline every video call that he made, saying that she's too shy. She make a silent pact to herself that one day she will reveal herself to Jungkook. Y/N guess she will never get the chance to tell him who she really is now since Jae Eun already told her that she will be emailing him herself until they get home. Y/N sat in front of her laptop, take a deep breath and open her chat to see if Jungkook is online. Fortunately, he is. She poised her fingers on the keyboard, taking a deep  breath before she starts her chat with Jungkook, for one last time.

Y/N: Dear Jungkook,

JK: Hahaha. Why do you always start off your emails and chat that way? But its cute. I like it

Y/N: Hahaha. Fine. Hey!

JK: Heyyy! Why are you on9? Isnt it late out there?

Y/N: yeah... Y/N: cant sleep. Y/N: and since ur on9, i want to tell u sumting

JK: wat is it?

Y/N: tq for still keeping in touch with me all these years. Ur emails and stories always made my day Y/N: I enjoy everything that we talked about. And I enjoy getting to know more about you Y/N: I'm glad our friendship didnt wilt just bcs we are far away from each other

JK: .... JK: I had fun talking to you too Jae Eun. JK: U know u r the highlight of my day. No matter how busy I am, I always look 4ward 2 ur reply JK: but... JK: why does it sounds like u r saying goodbye?

Y/N: :) Y/N: i gtg now. Need some zzzz Y/N: gdnite jungkook

Y/N slammed her MacBook shut without waiting for Jungkook's reply. She can already feel tears forming in her eyes but remind herself that there's no point in crying. She's not losing anything. Jungkook was never hers to begin with. This is just a favor for Jae Eun. Seven years might be a long time. One would think its long enough for maybe even Jungkook to fall in love with her, but during all those seven years, Jungkook's heart had always been Jae Eun's. She already know this very fact seven years ago when she started this whole mess, and now that her heart has fallen more deeply in love with Jungkook, she knows there is no one to blame but herself.

/////

After hours of flying, Y/N and Jae Eun finally landed back home. Jae Eun puts on her expensive sunglasses and let the assistants wheeled her numerous amounts of Louis Vuitton luggage while linking her arms with Y/N. Y/N just laugh at her cousin's antics and use her free hand to wheel her own single luggage. She only brought over the neccesities. Who needs a thousand pairs of heels? After all, this is home. She still has some things left in her old room, and knowing Jae Eun, she will probably dragged her for another shopping trip. Yet still, Jae Eun insisted to bring all the latest designer items that she owns, just in case she might need it.

"I'm a model, remember? I have to look good!" she reminded Y/N of the fact. The truth is, Jae Eun has only been doing some small scale modelling in the States and that is all there is, but to her, its a stepping stone to be the next Gigi Hadid. Y/N just chuckle at her bold statement. "And also, the future girlfriend of idol superstar Jeon Jungkook!"  Y/N's heart sank when Jae Eun mentioned his name. She had been restless during the whole flight. Will Jungkook be happy to see her? Does Jungkook think that she purposely stop keeping in touch with him? Will her heart be okay to see the boy she loves after seven whole years? Worse, can she take it when Jungkook dont even know he's been talking to her all this while?

It is a fact that Jungkook still very much likes Jae Eun. At least according to his emails, he still does. "I read some of the emails you guys exchanged. You know, to fill me in. But I skipped all the boring part! And boy, there were  a lot!" she laughs. "But it sure seems like he's still into me," Jae Eun turn to look at Y/N when she didnt answer. "Right Y/N?" Jae Eun knows she had asked this same question before but she needs to really make sure.

"Y..yeah. He does,"

"Oh well. I cant believe he actually think its really me who's replying all those boring emails,"

"Do you...do you even really like him Jae Eun?" Y/N finally finds the courage to ask. Sometimes its ridiculous how oblivious Jae Eun is to the rest of the world. She cant even see how much her own cousin, her best friend is in love with the boy she's planning to turn into her boyfriend

"Well, now that he's a famous celebrity, I sure do!" she said, not even a trace of guilt or shame in her voice. "Oh look we are here!"

///////

Jungkook is puzzled by his last chat with Jae Eun. She sounded cold and she really sounded like she's saying goodbye. He waited a couple of days to see if she will be online again, but she didnt, so he decided to write another email.

Hey Jae Eun,

What happened during our last chat? Why do I feel like you are saying goodbye? Did anything happen? And why aren't you online for the last few days?

Jungkook

Miraculously, Jungkook didnt have to wait long as he received a reply the next morning.

Hey Kookie!

Nothing happen! Oh I have great news. I'm going to come back home in a few days time!

And my uncle is throwing a homecoming party for us, and of course, you are invited! Make sure to wear something nice you hottie. I wsnt to show off my handsome boyfriend to everyone *wink*

Love, Jae Eun

Jungkook is weirded out by the email. Kookie? Love? Wear something hot? Hottie?? Since when does Jae Eun ever say these kind of things. Plus, her emails always starts with Dear Jungkook, no matter how many times he tease her about it. And her boyfriend? Yes, Jungkook did hinted various of times that he wants ti be more than friends and all these while Jae Eun always dodge the question or laugh it off.  He doesnt mind really, he finds it cute and if Jae Eun is finally willing to call him her boyfriend, he is more than happy to be one. So he just shrugged it off, thinking maybe Jae Eun is just excited to come back home and start thinking about the party where he can see the love of his life again.

He made a promised to himself to finally make Jae Eun his the next time he see her again.

When he first met Jae Eun, he admitted that he's attracted to her by her beauty. He knows that Jae Eun never did give him the time of the day but his competitiveness makes him want to fight for Jae Eun's attention.  He spend less time with Y/N in order to achieve his mission, a fact that he knows but he always convinced himself that he will find the time for her later. But that time never comes and the next thing he knows, both Y/N and Jae Eun are leaving for the States. To ensure that he wont regret his decision of neglecting his best friend in order to pursue Jae Eun, he tried to keep contact by emailing her. It suprise him that she actually replied and as he slowly gets to know her better through their constant chats and emails, he finds himself falling more and more in love with the girl behind the screen. He is sure its for real this time, and not because of her beauty like he did years ago. Her thoughts on life, the way she thinks, every story that she tells him, it just makes him find her more interesting.

So he told himself that the next time he saw her, he will make sure she will belong to him. Jungkook did think about Y/N some times. He even told Jae Eun through his emails to ask Y/N to chat him up, he even emailed her once, but she never did respond. Jungkook grew angry at Y/N for disposing their friendship just like that and decide to just move on from her. If Y/N can easily forget about him, then he can definitely do the same to her.

/////

As expected of the Jang Empire, the homecoming party is luxurious. Live band, free flow of champagne, guest dressed in their perfect outfits. Jungkook even saw some other idols and celebrities at the party. Jungkook feels glad that he brought Taehyung and Jimin with him, or else he would have been akward standing alone surrounded by all these guests that he finds to be very intimidating. He akwardly stand around the party, trying to find the face that he had longed to see. Jimin and Taehyung are already off on the dancefloor, doing silly dances with some girl they just met. Jungkook just waved them off when the two boys asked him to joined them on the dancefloor, too nervous and eyes too busy searching for Jae Eun. He can feel girls are checking hin out, especially with his two handsome hyungs by his side, but no one else matter other than Jae Eun. Seven years he had stayed loyal to the same girl, and he can finally see her, smell her, touch her, tonight.

About 30 minutes into the party, Jungkook finally spotted Jae Eun walking down the main stairs into the party. She looks absolutely gorgeous in her red dress and perfect hair. Jungkook felt his breath has been taken away and a large smile crept up his face. A sense of pride start to consume him at the thought that the beautiful girl everyone is looking at belongs to him.

"Woah, who's that?" Jungkook look to his hyung who is staring at the same spot he was looking earlier. Irritation crept into him as he assumed they are talking about Jae Eun. His Jae Eun.

"God, look at her. I've never seen anyone looked so good in such a simple dress before," Taehyung still have his mouth opened. Simple dress?  Jae Eun's dress is anything but simple with its deep red hue, slits on both sides and covered almost entirely in Swavorski diamonds. Then who are they talking about? Jungkook whipped his head up to where his hyung is looking at and is greeted with the sight of a girl behind Jae Eun. The girl is wearing a plain nude knee length coloured dress with the lightest makeup and her long black hair is styled in a messy updo. His hyungs were right, she is gorgeous. The moment she smile to someone in the crowd, Jungkook's heart starts to race crazily and a sense of familiarity hit him. Its the same smile that used to give him butterflies when he was eight, when she shoved him her extra pair of Converse and telling him not to cry anymore. The same smile that he didnt realize he had miss before tonight.

"Y...Y/N?"

[strawberryspeachy]

So. I orders clothes off this app where people resell the clothes they dont want. (And stuff)

I bought my tv from there and a skirt at the exact same time as the oufit im waiting on (from a different seller)

My name and address becomes available to ppl once i order from them

Both other ppl sent it to my real name

Sometimes my aparement building doesnt come up on google. Both sellers this time said they had an issue

So i sent them the number of the house next door which sometimes works and i told them that

So it was #building name #room number

#street address - 3 numbers (first two the same, the third 24 instead of 27)

City, municipality, zip

The other seller saif it corrected itself for her and clarified the correct number

The second one was like GOT IT but didnt reiterate

But because she said the same exact thing as the other i figured it was fine

The others package got here in two days

I waited 5 for the other and asked for the tracking number

She doesnt have it and said shell ask for it after the holiday

She asked if my address was correct then sent me THE MOST BS THING I HAVE EVER

So. She took out my building name....then added my room number onto the end of the WRONG street address

ANDDDD she used my ACCOUNT NAME instesd of my real FuCKinG NAME ——- she didnt tell me that till today after i went to the post office

She sent me a message today saying she talked to the post office. They said they tried to mail it to me but i wasnt home so they left a paper to pick it up and only (screen name) could recieve it

K. So this is all in a japanese and my japanese is not good.

So even though she said that - i read it as “you can pick it up” not as “only (name) can pick it up”

So i went. I asked the staff about it and showed them out messages. Everything is written out there in japnese for them to understand

BUT HERE COMES THE JAPANESE PEOPLE REFUSE TO TRY AND HELP

i said a little and showed them the message she sent me today. Which had the name of the manager who was called and told about the situation by the seller

Then said. But theres been some mistakes.

And scrolled up to the address that she sent it to

So. I had to ask them to please read it. I showed it to them. They glanced at it. Then looked up and started asking me questions. I told them to read. She they just scrolled around and PRETENDED to read. Instesd of actually reading.

I didnt realize that it literally says (name) must pick it up. BUT THEY CAN UNDERSTAND THAT and my NAME WAS THERE IN THE CONVERSTION. CAUSE ITS ME

So they told me oh we cant look. We need the tracking number. What day it was sent. And where it was sent from

And as usual. The dude goes off on a tangent in jaapnese and im like

I cant understand. And offered him my phone to type in japanese to translate. He doesnt. They ALWAYS look at it like its a complicated confusing device theyve never seem ITS AN IPHONE. He goes in the back and gets a translater. And translates what i just said above.

K yeah no. I understood the simple shit.

Fuck dude. I cant stand having convos with japanese ppl where i respond to and understand their simple shit - then when they get complicated i say i cant understand. So they fucking translate the shit THAT I RESPONDED BACK TO THEM IN JAPANESE ABOUT OBVIOUSLY PROVING I UNDERSTOOD THAT PART

k so i message the seller

The post office is confused. They need blah blah

She then FINALLY CLARIFYS LIKE WHY DID YOU WAIT

oh i sent it by regular mail so there is no tracking. And I explained the situation to that manager (she just wrote the name in the last email - not that that manager understood the situation) and i sent it to your screen name

And then all the info that the post office asked for

UNFORTUNATELY. i got there late and the post office was closed before i got her response

But now im pissed at thr post office too. Cause like you fucking assholes can read and understand japanese. She wrote in a way i assume japnese people would understand - not needing to specify every individual thing for me - who can’t understand their vague speech.

AND the name of their MANAGER Was there. So of course they didnt go -hey. I know that person - lets ask her if she knows anything.

Nope. Just your regular run of the mill ‘im gonna tilt my head back and forth and laugh for 30 minutes’ cause god forbid they tell you what they have to say ONCE when youre confused and let you go try to figure it out CAUSE YOU MIGHT FIGURE IT OUT AND MAKE THEM DO THEIR JOB NOOOOOO so theyll just repeat the same thing like 20 times you use - following you every time you try to walk away. Stopping you from typing - and telling you to come over here. Come over there. Sit here. Stop there.

Welp thats not all. I live in a sharehouse. One of the housing ppl were here when i left. This house is a mess and the shoebox is a couple feet from the door despite us not being allowed to wear shoes in the house (and its really FUCKING DIRTY) and the shoe thing in japan is just tradition - its not cause they care about.... anything. Japanese people step into places with their shoes on and take their shoes off there all the time. Ppl looked at me weird and told me it was fine when i first moved here and took the shoe thing seriously

But. Pretty sure the housing hate me (cause i complain to have them fix the stuff THAT THEYRE SUPPOSED TO FIX AND DO - back to that japanese ppl hating to actually have to do their job instead of pretend work thing)

So of course. At the EXACT same time as i walked in the door - the housing dude was leaving and was in the lowered spot with the shoes

I should have just walked back outside and waited a few seconds. But i didnt. I walked in. Took the two steps in and changed my shoes.

He turned to watch me before continuing to put his shoes on and leave.

Thats the same dude who said nothing when he saw my housemates girlfriend here - but did walk over to his room to confirm he saw what he did. And then sent an email about it like a week later

So now im stressed that im gonna get in trouble for - doing something everyone in this house and out do

And im tired

And miserable

And why do i always manage have everything happen at THE EXACT WRONG MOMENT - why havent i ever experienced the exact RIGHT moment. Always the exact wrong one

[lovestill-exists]

money

currency. that thing we chasing. i literally told a kid today that i needed to get a covid test so that i could eat tomorrow.

really, thats just an exaggeration though. To be honest, BrUTALLY so-- i am awful with the stuff.

I lost my wallet while running down the beach bed, flirting with the waves up to my ankles. the bitch stole it. ive been feeling that itch of something taking it the entire day. but what did i do? I pushed that sense out of the way, finding it really annoying. but it wasn’t wrong, was it? it never is

i felt like an idiot. especially when i was whispering wishes to the ocean, asking her about something completely different.. i trusted it was listening, answering my questions in its own, vague way the universe typically does.

instead, it swept up my wallet and gave me false hopes. im livid. genuinely mad

also, the job i took the covid test for isnt responding back to me. probably cos theyre on location and i was meant to look for a breakfast place for 40 people, but i didnt.. cos i told them i needed the address. “please send me the address to your location for tomorrow and i can get right on that” but nope. my hiring location scout told me a sad story instead over the phone, where she had awful reception and i couldn't hear half the words she said.. tried to tell her i couldnt hear her very well, that if she could quickly text me the information id need, then i can start doing my job.. but i doubt she heard me.

i called her again after getting back to my apartment to ask for that information

three hours later, she calls back but doesnt leave a voicemail

i call her back half an hour later and she answers, then hangs up.no call back.

and at this point, im not even mad if i dont work tomorrow. free covid test. ill get my results and have these days off again. I can make my doctor’s appointment.

will i be able to pay for the damn appointment. yes.

will it hurt to do it? only my ego..

I only have the foresight to be able to save a shitton of money if i need it.. call it a cautionary evil, quite necessary but.. its not as big of a basin as id like it to be. sometimes i wonder if im good at anything else.. make money on the side doing.. something else besides being a badass on set

cos set life isnt how it used to be. safe, that is.

I’m not above taking pictures of my feet, for instance.

but maybe.. i should look a lil deeper. I’m also not above working a 9-5 again

at least, until i find this thing im meant to be doing, besides rescuing dogs or something.. at least rescuing someone else, instead of someone rescuing me.

My boyfriend had enough foresight to lend me some money so i can get back home safely. i wasn’t even thinking about it. he mentioned how calm i seemed over losing my wallet, how no one could be blamed for going completely insane over it. but im used to it. how much worse does that sound?

Losing your wallet is losing your identity. your name. your address that isnt the one you reside at anymore but the one that felt closer to home in a long LONG time. your totem, the one your mother printed for you to assure that "abundance is always there for you". ha. my two debit cards.. probably my insurance card ive never used. a membership card for go karts in the bay area.. and 23 dollars.

what a loss. and at the same time.. i dont feel it as badly as i should.

like im lost. truly. like why dont i follow my inner instincts ushering me to just shut up and pay attention to it for once? i walked around, paid for things the entire day and everytime my wallet was in my hands, i had a sinking feeling of dread. that i need to keep it safe. and i felt stupid for feeling that way. so conflicted. money never meant so much to me. why was i worried.. was i overspending? was i depending on it too much? 

but now i just feel stupid i hadnt listened.. i do that all the damn time. i get a sense of something before it happens and i ignore it. im.. worst at listening to myself than my actual financial responsibilities.

i felt that stupidity every time i stopped at a gas station on the way back to my apartment from LA. The act of taking out cash and walking away from the pump inside to let the guy behind the counter authorize the transaction for me.. I only stopped twice.. the second place i stopped at, i convinced myself to stop simply cos i knew the place well and it would be the quickest stop id make on my trip. i kept second guessing my route back home solely as to whether id be making the right choice to go there.

it was at this gas station that a kid came up to me, mask no where on his face, but swearing he wasnt homeless.. just a lil scared. he needed gas to get home but his card was declined. asked me if i had any cash or if i could cash app him some money, just enough to get home.

I hesitated, thinking in the back of my mind if i was going to be alright to give him anything. i had no cards, no more cash than what i had to get home, and i still needed a covid test to get to, where i was unsure if id had to pay for it out of pocket. told him “Sorry, i dont have an iphone” and hes like “shit.. can i please ask you to pay for at least five dollars, you can stand by the pump-!”

“sorry, i lost my debit cards.. haha”

“oh shiiit.. hahaha..”

“yeah.. but i do have a bit of cash my dude. let me get it for you”

“Oh shit, really?? thank you so much!”

This kid, obviously young, a teenager, looked so relieved. cos the more i said something unhelpful, the more panicked he started to look. and i was gut punched by it. i was this kid, worried about his next paycheck, wondering why i was so bad at money, why i couldnt be responsible.

and im not trying to say that was his deal today, his card could have declined for any real reason. but i was that panicked once. its stupid to feel that way over something so.. fucking stupid. something that rules over everyone a little too much.. when we should really not be worried about our next meal, or when our next job will come. i handed him the cash, booked my covid test and booked it out of there. all so “i could eat tomorrow”

i use money to make things just a lil easier. i dont try too hard to be irresponsible. but definetly dont make myself too responsible either. its just habit otherwise, which could be the only thing keeping me afloat. but there is another lesson im missing too.. maybe still not money related. or if it is.. i clearly dont have the answer for it yet.

still learning that one

[toastoat]

ok im putting under readmore bc its long

so last year i went to my older friends wedding w my sister and her boyfriend, and we stayed in another friends cabin at this lake i go up to every summer (im here now). we were all sleeping at the other friend’s place so i had to take the couch, my sister and her bf were upstairs. one morning the bf woke me up early bc i usually sleep in and said “i saw you sneaking around last night you gremlin” (he often calls me goblin/gremlin jokingly ) but since i had been fast asleep since midnight i was just ?????? and asked him wtf he was talking abt, to which he responded “im not gonna play your little game” (also jokingly) as if i was trying to play dumb or something. 

later in the day after he kept referencing it and asking me to “see the pictures” me and my sister finally got it out of him that he had apparently woken up to “elsa in their nightgown standing in the doorway taking pictures of us (him and my sister) sleeping on a big camera”. i instantly was freaked out by this as was my sister bc we both know that a. i dont have a nightgown or even a dress that i brought w me, and b. i dont own any camera besides my iphone. 

he was super convinced though that we were both playing some prank on him which made me and my sister even MORE scared bc she knew i was telling the truth. we tried to convince him he was dreaming/sleep paralyzed but he kept insisting he woke up and that it was me bc of the poofy blond hair i had at the time. 

anyways we were super afraid of that and for the rest of the time there i made them let me sleep in their bed lol. later on when the summer had actually started, i invited hiro up to stay in my cabin w me- my parents were back in tokyo for a lot of the time we were there. i had lifeguarding every morning p much so hiro would often sleep in my room upstairs while i slept on the couch downstairs. one night we were coming home late after hanging out w friends and hiro asked if i could sleep upstairs w him that night bc “last night i had a nightmare or sleep paralysis where you just stood in the doorway of the room looking at me” 

when he told me that (i hadn’t mentioned the previous thing to hiro at ALL bc i p much forgot abt it as a one-time thing) i flipped my SHIT and almost ran home holding onto his arm (but didnt mention the previous thing to him since it would just freak us out more) and went to sleep in the bed w him and peter (hiro’s dog). 

ANYWAY after that i was suuuuper on edge abt sleeping on my own and i think at this point did tell my sister and hiro abt it. at the end of that week i was over at a friends place lying on his trampoline w hiro and a friend, and the guy who was hosting us came out and yelled for hiro and the other friend to come back in. i sat up and was kinda like “hey im here too fuck you” and when i called out the guy said “Elsa???” really weirdly and i just fuckin knew. some stupid creepy doppleganger shit was up. so i went in to be like “???” back to him and he looked closely at my face and called into the house (where everybody else was chilling) “elsa was out here the whole time “ and when i walked in everybody in the room was like “huh ???” and starting fucking looking out onto the deck where a hammock was set up. 

they all informed me this whole time they thought i was sitting in the hammock outside swinging, and had called out to me several times which is why they were so surprised to see me outside. 

hiro was already freaking out so at this point i just told them all both stories, and we all slept at the friend’s place bc we were all sooooo beyond freaked out. the rest of the summer we called the thing ppl kept seeing “Evil Elsa” and would make jokes like if we heard a scary noise at night “oh its just Evil Elsa” or if somebody farted “no that was Evil Elsa !!!” and didn’t have any more incidents

its really not that much of a scary story but its been creeping me out now that i’m back up here and staying alone in my cabin, and idk what it was in the first place bc nothing bad happened it just scared everybody.  

[vsplusonline]

Don’t have words to express my joy, says Satish Kumar, India’s first +91kg boxer to make Olympic cut

New Post has been published on https://apzweb.com/dont-have-words-to-express-my-joy-says-satish-kumar-indias-first-91kg-boxer-to-make-olympic-cut/

Don’t have words to express my joy, says Satish Kumar, India’s first +91kg boxer to make Olympic cut

The first super heavyweight (+91kg) Indian boxer to qualify for the Olympic Games, veteran Satish Kumar on Monday said a “secret strategy” and loads of luck has made the last couple of years the best of his decade-long career.

Kumar is an Asian Games bronze-medallist (2014), a Commonwealth Games silver-winner (2018) and a two-time bronze-winner at the Asian Championships (2015 and 2019). He qualified for his maiden Olympics — in Tokyo later this year — by making the semifinals of the ongoing Asia/Oceania Qualifiers in Amman, Jordan late on Sunday night.

“This would be my first Olympic Games, I don’t have words to express how happy I am. Add to this, I am the first Indian super heavyweight to qualify for an Olympics. Wow! That’s quite something,” Kumar told PTI in a telephonic interview from Amman.

“I count myself so lucky. Luck has been on my side for the last couple of years. It has played a huge role in where I am today,” he added without divulging the specifics of how fortune has favoured him.

The 30-year-old has been India’s go-to man in the category, representing the country at major events almost exclusively for a decade now.

“I have toiled so much for so many years, won medals here and there but nothing compares to this. I am over the moon,” said the man from Bulandhshahr in Uttar Pradesh.

The imposing boxer started his career back in 2010 and has five national titles under belt.

“But the last two years have by far been the best of my career. There hasn’t been a better phase,” he said referring to the CWG and the Asian Championship medals.

“I have been so much more faster, my stance is way better than what it used to be and all this has got me better results. Lot of work has gone into making me better and I am thankful to the coaches for their analysis and support ,” he added.

Asked what exactly he has done to turn it around, Kumar responded with a hearty laughter at first.

“There are some strategies which can never be revealed to anyone. They are a secret. All I can say is that I have worked very, very hard to get here.”

It is this hard work, which Kumar hopes would fetch him the rewards in Tokyo and he isn’t even thinking about the novel Coronavirus threat which has thrown international sports calendars haywire.

“I don’t think Olympic would be affected. In any case, there are doctors to ensure that there is no problem,” he said trying to evade any elaborate response to a question on the health crisis, which has led to more than 3,000 deaths and left more than one lakh infected globally.

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[foursprouthappiness-blog]

The Do’s And Dont’s Of Falling (And Staying) In Love With Someone, Based On Their Love Language

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The Do’s And Dont’s Of Falling (And Staying) In Love With Someone, Based On Their Love Language

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Every person has a love language that works best for them. And we have to be aware of this because it can contribute a drastic improvement to our relationships in any aspect. As for romantic relationships, this works really well since we are committed (or about to commit) to a person who may have the personality that’s totally different from or same with ours. Part of it is their love language. We can’t say we know them very well or committed enough with them if we never bother to know their love language. And so once we discover it, here are the do’s and dont’s of falling and staying in love with them based on that love language:

Words Of Affirmation

Do…

Give them the verbal signs that you have plans for your relationship. Talk about it when you’re having dinner, when you’re watching movies, when you’re both doing a house chore, when you’re having coffee or (especially) when you’re about to sleep where you can talk about your visions for your relationship. They need to know that you have a long-term plan for the both of you. They need to know through your words that you are really committed to them.

Text them your thoughts about them whenever you’re apart. Whenever you’re at work, on a family vacation, at the mall, or even when you’re just at home without them around. They need the assurance that they’re always in your mind. This may sound you’re in a high-maintenance relationship but you have to understand this is somehow a need for them.

Indulge them with compliments. Tell them how good they smell, how cute they look while sleeping, how well they carry styles, or how delicious their cookings are. Tell them everything that makes them forget about their imperfections. Or, much better, make them fall in love with their imperfections by accepting them. You can point out their flaws, but tell them they really don’t matter.

Give them support to their endeavors in life by saying things like go for it whenever they talk about their dreams. Positivity from their partner gives them the sense of a good, long-term relationship.

Don’t…

Be afraid of giving them reassurance. Sometimes they just long to hear pieces of reassurance from you, even small ones like no one can replace you or you don’t have to worry or even that random I’m always thinking about you text. No matter how long you’ve been together, a reassurance will always put a big smile on their face.

Allow a few minutes of dead-air. This will make them think you’re not interested in them or you don’t like being with them. Communication is a major signal that someone is really into them.

Tell them the sentence “We never know what can happen”. They hate uncertainties. They consider this a red flag, considering you’re not really after a lifetime relationship with them. Of course you never really know what the future holds, but they need to see you can make a way for everything. Never tell them words that denote uncertainty.

Respond to them in short, scanty messages. If you feel like they want to talk with you whether virtually or personally, please exert energy. Exert enthusiasm. Dig deeper into that conversation. Don’t let them be the only one who’s carrying it.

Acts Of Service

Do…

Always ask them what you can do as help. Even if they don’t really need it or if they tell you it’s okay, they already appreciate your willingness.

Some little things for them, just because. It can be making them a cup of coffee with a toast, going to the grocery store with or for them, doing a house chore if you’re living together, bringing them a simple present when you get home or when you see each other or preparing a good meal for them to enjoy a workout. Simple services can make them really happy and they won’t forget it.

Show thoughtful gestures. Open the door for them (even if you’re a lady, you can do this at times especially if he is carrying things). Wait for them in mealtimes. Fetch them from work. Fix a loose button on their coat. Massage their back. Whatever action that confirms you are thinking about them, don’t hesitate to do it.

Show kind gestures to their family as well. Give them presents, too. Attend occasions where you’re invited. Show up or set a date of visit as respect. Let your person know you’re glad to be part of the family.

Don’t…

Just stare at them when they’re doing something. When they’re cooking, vacuuming, or when they’re figuring things out like in dealing with a phone issue, opening a locked pump bottle, or in fixing things. Help them out. They would always love your mediation.

Delay when they have asked help from you already in any manner. Don’t make them think you’re not willing to assist them. Respond as quickly as possible.

Break promises. You have to act on whatever you’ve told them.

Hesitate to show big efforts like organizing a surprise party for their birthday or your anniversary, traveling miles if you’re in a long distance relationship, or even lending them an amount of money if you know they don’t have enough or if they’re starting to find a new job. This does not need to happen very often, but with this love language, rest assured they will return the favor.

Receiving Gifts

Do…

Surprise them with simple objects that represent your love. Nope, it doesn’t need to be expensive; in fact, you don’t even need to spend anything sometimes. You can pick a beautiful flower outside to give it to them. You can write a short poetry and slip it in your fridge magnets. You can even give them a printed selfie with a note on the back. Funny, yes? But I’m sure they’ll cherish it.

Ask them if they want something when you’re at the mall or a grocery store. People with this love language aren’t really materialistically demanding, but they find it sweet if you let them know you’re willing to give them something they wish for. Even the attention to whatever interests them is enough.

Reward them for their success and appease their sadness in every plight they encounter. Again, you don’t have to go beyond your means. Believe me, a bar of Snickers with the note congratulations or cheer up is enough for them to feel your love.

Don’t…

Give them false hopes. Whatever you said you’ll be giving them, give it. Because they have already attached a symbolism of your love on it.

Fail to give something on special occasions like on their birthday. You can cook for them. Write a simple card. Treat them with an ice cream or in a spa. Whatever you can give or do for them as present counts as a representation of your love.

Let them be the only one to pay for everything, on every date. The give-and-take principle works best for them.

Make them feel they don’t deserve what they want or tell them they don’t really need it. If they say they want to buy an iPhone X, a Chanel bag, or any high-end product, don’t dissuade them. Be happy if they get to buy the luxury they worked hard for. It’s a gift for themselves and hence an act of self-love.

Quality Time

Do…

Spend time with them despite any situation. Even if there’s a great distance in between, you can have that quality time on video calls or typical texting. Ask them how their day went, how yours went, ask them their current thoughts or any ideas you can talk about. Tell them how much you miss them, and tell them how you’re going to make a way to be with them.

Make plans for the weekends or rest days. Schedule a dinner date, a jog together, a hike or whatever means for you to spend time with each other. Even when you just decide to stay at home, you can always make it enjoyable and memorable.

Give them your full attention. Especially if you don’t always get to spend time with each other, please try to avoid preoccupation on your phone, video games, or anything that can divide your attention. Devote your time to each other and free yourselves from any distraction. Laugh with each other. Do silly things together.

Join communities where you can both enjoy. Even if it involves a bunch of people, being together in an organization can help you thrive and talk about things you both understand. If you both write, do art, love animals, then you can try engaging in certain activities that can add fun to your quality time.

Don’t…

Ever give excuses. Don’t tell them you’re busy that’s why you were not able to answer their text. Don’t tell them you can’t make it to your date because something went your way. MAKE A WAY. Make a way to get in touch with them, to adhere to your plans, to see them.

Allot the whole day for something other than them. Even if you’re on a vacation with your family or friends, always give them updates. Call them. Send them pictures and tell them you wish they were there.

Let them watch a movie alone. Even if it’s a genre you’re not fan of, try to accompany them. Learn to be happy with whatever makes them happy. You’ll see, they will really appreciate it.

Make them feel you can be a lot happier with anyone or anything. This is a veritable pain to them.

Physical Touch

Do…

Embrace them often—purposefully. Give them that warm hug like you miss them even if you’re always together.

Gently touch them whenever you’re talking with them. It will give them the feeling of affection. You can play with their hair, hold them on the shoulder, or any other way to caress them.

Lean on them and let them lean on you. Maybe while you’re watching the TV, while you’re in the taxi, or just sitting beside each other in a quiet moment imbibing each other’s presence.

Hold their hands in public, draw them closer in a busy street like you’re afraid to lose them on the way. Sometimes they’ll intentionally leave a little space from you while walking because they want to see if you’re going to pull them close to you.

Always have the time to cuddle, tickle each other, surprise them with a kiss, do a nose rub. People whose love language is physical touch are normally clingy and they tend to acquire anxiety when they don’t get physically in touch with their partner even for a short period time.

Don’t…

Touch or caress them just after they’ve taken a bath or just before making love. It means you’re only taking advantage of them. Do them as a habit, but with sweet intention.

Stress on their physical flaws. They already know if their skin is bumpy, if they are too skinny or thick, if they smell quite different, or if they’re sweaty. Don’t give them the hint that these flaws or distractions are preventing you from giving them physical affection. Don’t let these hinder your expression of love.

Forget to embrace them back. When they hug you, return it. Enclose them with loving arms, too. This way you’ll let them know their love is indeed requited.

Miss on giving them massage whenever they feel tired or sick. This is the best thing you can offer them as comfort other than food, medicine, or any other means. This is the best cure for them.

These are just some of all the possible do’s and dont’s considering the love languages. If you really love your person, do some observations, study their personality. You’ll be surprised by how it can strengthen your relationship.

[xxtangledintentions]

I can't fall back asleep

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say? I’d be very confused bc he’s in Illinois currently lol

2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed? Uhhh literally nothing he stopped talking to me.

3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care? Dont have one.

4. Is your last name longer than six letters? Nope

5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober? Sober but hungover

6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up? Oh gosh yeah

7. What does your last received text say? “Sorry I didn’t take her out”

8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed? Uhhh continuously over a period of 3 days idk how many times.

9. Where was your last kiss at? Lisbon, OH

10. When is the last time you saw your sister? Saw 2 of them at the end of April

11. What do you drink in the morning? Juice or water

12. Where did you sleep last night? My bed.

13. Do you think relationships are hard? Ehhhhhh

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you? Yeah quite a few things honestly

15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems? Yeah I’d be asking him wtf his deal is

16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy? Sunshine pls

17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you? I’m sure

18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants? pj

19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now? I goddamn hope so

20. Does anyone like you? Doubtful

21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S? Probably?

22. Is the last person you kissed gay? No

23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand? Yes

24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo? I have five.

25. In the past week have you cried? Nope.

26. What breed was the last dog you saw? My sweet pup, shes Great Dane and greyhound.

27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower? Out

28. Have you ever kissed a football player? I’m sure I have

29. Do you think you’re old? Gettin there :(

30. Do you like text messaging? When I actually feel like responding. Lately I’ve been not responding to anyone.

31. What type of day are you having? It’s too early to tell.

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced? I had it pierced previously

33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather? WARM

34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you? mhm

35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling? Fuck this question

36. Are you a simple or complicated person? Complicated

37. What song are you listening to? I’m not

38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it? Yeah

39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you? Mhmmmmm

40. What made you start liking the person you like now? Why are u assuming I like anyone right now??? PS I don’t

41. When did you last receive a text message? Right after I started this dumb thing

42. What is wrong with you right now? Too much

43. How well do you know the last female you texted? Incredibly well she’s been my best friend since I was 16

44. Does anyone disgust you? Chyeah

45. Would you date someone right now if they asked? Probably not.

46. Are you in a good mood right now? No

47. Who was the last person you talked to in person? Hansen

48. What color shirt are you wearing? White

49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear? story of my life I never wanna hear anything

50. Anyone you’re giving up on? Myself

51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for? Not at all

52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t? What does this even mean

53. Do you like rain? Nah

54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks? Single AS A PRINGLE YO

55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them? Yeah I’m sure I have

56. Do you like to cuddle? Yeah

57. Are you shy? Uhhhhhhhhhh

58. Do you get along with girls? Mostly

59. Have you dated the person you texted last? Nope

60. What do you carry with you at all times? Phone

61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you? Not by myself

62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months? Yeah

63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship? Nope

64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute? Oh my god I don’t like anyone jfc

65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week? I ate a whole jar of pickles 🙃

66. How old are the last three people you kissed? LAST 3???? Uhhhh 22,24,28.

67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself? Neither

68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print? Leopard

69. Do you have any stickers on your car? Hell yeah! “Resist and persist” “TCB” “turpentine creek wildlife refuge” “fayetteville Arkansas, its great, Please dont move here”

70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne? Luke I guess

71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone? iPhone

72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut? Couple months ago

73. Do you like diet soda? Shit no

74. What color are the walls in your room? Boring white

75. Are you 16 or older? 25

76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars? No

77. Do you have a job? Not currently

78. What are your initials? MJS

79. Did you ever have braces? NOPE

80. Are you from the south? I grew up in the north but I’ve lived in the south for four years now

81. What does your last status on facebook say? Something about how to get away with murder

82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed? Uhhh sometimes, we grew up together so

83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad? Dads deceased so

84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics? Nope

85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters? I have no idea. Maybe the newest purge

86. Do you smoke? F no

87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops? Flipsssss

88. Is your phone touch screen? Yeah and it’s being annoying af rn

89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly? Neither I just let it air dry and hope for the best

90. Have you ever snuck out of your house? I mean when I was a teenager yes

91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool? Pool

92. Have you ever made out in a car? Lmao yeah

93. …Had sex in a car? Yep

94. Are you single or in a relationship? READ ABOVE ANSWERS JFCCCC

95. What were you doing last night at midnight? SLEEPING

96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks? Uhhhhhhhhhhh

97. Do you like the camera on your phone? Not really it kinda sucks

98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits? Sure? I guess

99. Have you ever passed out from drinking? Many times 100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate? IDK maybe

101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare? Yeah

102. Name your favorite Kesha song: Cannibal 😈

103. Do you have any tan lines right now? HAHAHAHHAHA no

104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts? Not a chance in hell