#this isnt about any ship in particular

[teabiscs]

whenever i see rarepair ships that dont make sense to me, i want to see a full headcanon of the ship.

...because i want to ship them too, but i am need ideas of how they got together, what they're like, whats they're dynamic.

[sonknuxadow]

why is literally everyone on my sonic tomodachi life island in love with shadow as if theres not other people to choose from and hes not gonna reject them every time . stop creating a love spiderweb with some guy whos not even interested in you

[drifloonz]

steven/mocha is canon

[tauremornalome]

I love you pining I love you unfinished conversations I love you almost-confessions I love you could-have-been's I love you feelings never acted upon I love you missed opportunities I love you ships that didn't have enough time I lo-

[biocrafthero]

Hmm. Killing as a form of love.

[thecooler]

If people online are talking about things they like with memes and jokes and not instead offering a perfectly worded plot pitch at every juncture, that means that they don't value things like plot and themes ever. They only care about shipping and memes, which I know from looking through their blog on the famed academic website tumblr dot com

[earl-grey-love]

So I'm away from home atm and it gave me some time to think. As it stands right now, I don't think Lucif is a romantic f/o. I still like him, but not nearly enough? He doesn't give me that feeling. The one that indicates f/o.

We can be friends though!

[pomeglitch]

i miss when it was custom to have internalized homophobia in fancfiction actually... characters just be getting together now with no if ands or buts... like UM! BUT YOU'RE BOTH BOYS!!!

[secondbeatsongs]

Hello! I'm Julie from Cariona and I just want to ask if you're interested in doing ads/promotions here on Tumblr? If yes, how much do you charge per reblog?

For proof of legitimate promotions, you can check @catchymemes, @sulfatto, @isnt, and many others.

Website for reference: http://cariona.com Over 200 five star Facebook reviews: https://www.facebook.com/carionaproducts/reviews

Please feel free to respond here or reach out to us on marketing@cariona.com for more details! Thank you once again and have a great week!

absolutely fascinating that you decided to send this as an ask, when you also DM'd me. unfortunately, you may realize that this was a mistake - you see, asks can be responded to publicly.

so, allow me to respond:

hi, Julie! I'd never heard about Cariona before, so I decided to go poking around, and I learned something!

well, I learned a few things, actually. from your site, Cariona seems to be a small business that sells reusable menstrual products. and while I will never advertise a product that I haven't used, there's nothing wrong with wanting people to promote your company.

I have, however, found a few problems.

the first thing I found was this post by @crafiet from May 12th of last year, saying that shortly after making a purchase on your website, her debit card info was leaked, and used to make facebook ad purchases.

it seems that at least back then, your payment system was insecure. I'm really hoping you've fixed that, because. yikes.

and when I messaged crafiet to ask if it was okay if I linked to her post, she also mentioned that even though your website says you ship from Georgia, her package came shipped from China, and took a long time to arrive.

that's pretty sketchy.

the next thing I found was some folks talking about receiving cards with their orders that have a QR code on them with the words "Scan For God's Message To You", and that on the other side, have this bible verse:

O God, thou art my God; early will I seek thee: my soul thirsteth for thee, my flesh longeth for thee in a dry and thirsty land, where no water is. Psalm 63:1

fun fact! that's from the King James Version (which I have a lot of thoughts about, but I'm not going to get into that right now).

additional fun fact! that particular psalm is from that time David fled to the wilderness because Jonathan's dad was trying to kill him.

and that's why I have to talk about the verses that follow it:

(ID in alt text; link to the NIV version if you want it)

so...are we like 100% sure it's god that David is thinking about here? because...I mean...that's pretty horny, right? and all of this while on the run from his boyfriend's dad?

I'm not saying anything, but like...¯\_(ツ)_/¯

it's a weird verse to choose for this, that's all.

anyway, back to you, Cariona: after seeing people talking about the bible verse cards, I decided to poke around your website more, and allll the way at the bottom of it, finally found your "About Us" page, which ends with this:

...look. there's nothing inherently wrong with being christian. but to say "we do not wish to impose any beliefs on our customers", and to then put bible verse cards in people's orders? that's sneaky, and I don't like it.

I also think it's a bit sneaky that you've flagged your tumblr account as pro-trans on shinigami eyes. at least, I assume you flagged it yourselves, because I didn't find a single post on your blog that mentions trans issues.

(though you have, entertainingly, reblogged some stranger things fanart, and a castiel cat cosplay)

and while your website uses very gender-neutral language, your "About Us" page doesn't say anything about being inclusive of trans people, just that you don't "discriminate against anyone who has a different belief than ours."

unfortunately, that's not good enough for me. I have this sneaking suspicion that "trans people are the gender they say they are" counts as a "different belief".

lastly, since you say on your website that people can message you asking about your faith, I had a friend do that!

baptists. you're baptists, which is a pretty conservative denomination.

and according to you, part of that 10% you donate goes to your local churches, and some missionaries. who are also probably baptists.

so.

in the end, I just...don't trust you? I don't trust that the 10% you're donating is going to organizations that aren't homophobic or transphobic. I don't believe that you're not trying to impose your beliefs on others, because that's what you're obviously doing. I mean, your "About Me" says that one of the reasons you built this company is to spread the gospel.

and I especially don't like it that you reached out to me (an openly queer person) for promotion without mentioning that you're an evangelical company.

so to answer your question, Julie: no. I am not interested in doing ads or promotions for you on tumblr. and honestly, you probably picked the wrong website for this kind of thing.

[cyberdragoninfinity]

ms dana cyberdragoninfinity do you have any yugioh spinoff merch hunting tips 👉👈🥺

YESSSS WHIRLS AROUND IN MY BIG SPINNING CHAIR. i Love merch hunting and giving merch hunting tips, there's a whole beautiful world of often remarkably inexpensive yugioh merch out there and once you learn how to track it down a new chapter of your life can truly begin. I bestow onto you some of my advice gleaned from about two and a half years of Searching For Merch Like a Tuffle-Sniffing Hog:

(note: while im specifically focusing on ygo spinoff merch here, you can use this advice to find all kinds of cool japan-exclusive merch!! im constantly getting japanese pokemon merch via tips like these, for example.)

Anyway, MERCH HUNTING TIP NUMBER ONE:

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DONT BUT JAPANESE EXCLUSIVE MERCH ON EBAY. DONT. SAVE YOUR MONEY.

HEAVY SIGH. ebay can be such a useful site but not for this. good god not for this. You might luck out with a stray deal here or there but stuff like japanese exclusive yugioh merch on ebay tends to more often than not be sold for OUTRAGEOUSLY high prices and maybe it's not technically a scam but well your wallet aint gonna be happy about it. Stuff like tiny Cospa keychains get sold for $30, $40, 80 FUCKING US AMERICAN DOLLARS. AND SHIPPING. LOOK AT THIS SHIT

ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY FIVE DOLLARS??!??! NIGHTMARE. NIGHTMARE. do not buy spinoff merch from ebay!! INSTEAD....

TIP TWO: come with me. to proxy buying service ❤❤❤❤

I love proxy services SO much. Basically theyre sites that will buy stuff from Japanese shopping sites on your behalf, then hold the goodies in their warehouse until you're ready to ship them over to you! They RULE. THEY ARE LIFECHANGING, FOR THE HUMBLE MERCH HUNTER. And they're all pretty intuitive to learn how to use, theyve got pretty solid FAQs and they'll walk you through how to request items, and theyll often let you search for merch ON their website, making the buying process even easier!

(There's a whole bunch of 'em, though and they all have different fees and amounts of time they'll hold your stuff for free, so you have to do some poking around and figure out which one you like using the most! My favorite go-to is Neokyo, personally; they have some great discount sales, they hold your stuff for free for 45 days, and their item request fees are all really reasonable!! I LOVE THEM. BEEN USING EM FOR YEARS NOW <3)

Anyway the point here, re: proxy sites, not only do they give you easy access to japanese resale sites and all the merch being sold on 'em, it also gives you access to tWay, Way, Waaaaayyy Lower Prices for trinkets and goodies. Like. look at this listing from Mercari JPN (viewed on Neokyo's site,) of the $125 Jack Atlas Phone Charm from my first tip

yeah that is, um. the same charm. AND two other adorable charms. FOR 13 AMERICAN DOLLARS. THIRTEEN. THAT IS. LITERALLY LIKE 90% CHEAPER THAN THAT EBAY LISTING. AND YOURE GETTING MORE STUFF. there is SO much yugioh (and other anime) merch being sold on jpn shopping sites for like. $4-$10. it is ridiculous. and then when proxy sites have discount deals you can get stuff for even CHEAPER sometimes. (theres also, of course, expensive merch lots too, just like with anything, theres just. also listings for stuff sold for less than a fancy dinner for two yknow HHDFGS)

it basically opens a whole new avenue of sites to find goodies on... I like using proxy buyers especially for listings on more general ebay-type sites like JPN Mercari (there is so much good and sometimes really rare stuff on there) and Surugaya (lots of doujins on there if that's your thing,) but also for buying from the main sites New ygo merch drops happen on (Cospa, eeo store, and the official KaibaCorp store in particular are some of the best.)

Ok, so, ya got your proxy service of choice. How do you find the goodies you're looking for?

TIP THREE: GOTTA KNOW THE BEST KEYWORDS!!!

this isnt really a rocket science tip, but, still: search for stuff not just in japanese but use the kanji!! Sometimes i'll just c/p the base characters of a yugioh guy's japanese name off their yugipedia page and then pop that into the mercari search just to see what sorta treats are floating around with them on it. But if going and constantly copy/pasting kanji into the proxy service search is a pain in the neck a lot 'em will auto translate your English searches too! again, theyre all really user friendly, which is great

(the one thing i will say you SHOULD search in english, though, is spinoff names, actually--you pop GX, ZEXAL, ARC-V, etc. into the proxy search and youll get all sorts of stuff for whatever series it is)

OK ONE MORE TIP FOR YA. TIP FOUR: DO WHAT YOU CAN TO GET THE MOST OF SHIPPING COSTS

ok so that is. the one pain, with merch hunting on proxy buying sites: shipping will probably be Expensive. (unless you go for the cheapest seamail options and then get your box maybe 4-6 months from now 🥴 but hey, it's an option! it's there!) I usually end up paying around $30-$50 for my boxes from Neokyo.

BUT you can at least make that shipping cost feel more reasonable if youre shipping A BUNCH OF STUFF. Shipping one (1) little $4 GX character can badge for $30 REALLY sucks, avoid this if you can--with proxies holding your stuff in their warehouse, you can get a bunch of little cheap goodies and just hold 'em until youre ready to get 'em packed and shipped. Then, whenever youre ready/have the money for the shipping cost, get all the stuff youve bought packed into one box, pay for the shipping, and (usually within two weeks--the one tradeoff of the high shipping price is you get that shit FAST) then get your stuff! It's like FUCKIN CHRISTMAS getting a box of proxy-obtained stuff including things from like two months ago i totally forgot i bought. Makes the $40 shipping sting a little less--like, hey, at least i got like 12 damn things in here and i didnt pay $125 for any of them!!!!

ok i think that's all i got. hopefully this is somewhat useful!! folks are always welcome to ask me stuff about merch hunting, like i said i really like helping people get a hold of stuff :3 it's really a lot easier than it seems at first!

[orionsangel86]

I have been doing this meta analysis thing for a long time now and one thing that I have always tried to make clear in meta analysis is that for it to be taken seriously you must keep your personal biases out of it. You must come at it as objective as possible.

Rant under the cut

Its not always easy to do when you are dealing with difficult topics, or shining unfavourable lights on characters you love, or coming to conclusions that you werent expecting (recent meta discussions about Morpheus in the Sandman comics would fall into these categories).

What meta analysis should never be used for is to back up ship wars or specifically to shame fandoms for liking certain characters. If the meta isnt providing valid evidence to support the interpretations, and instead has fallen into name calling and mockery of fandom, its no longer valid meta.

I got this ALL the time in SPN fandom. Destiel was a huge fandom but as meta writers we stuck with what we were given by the source material and interpreted it with valid evidence. We understood that multiple interpretations were possible but we made sure that whatever we were analysing made sense and had some source backing. This wasnt always the case because meta writers are not a monolith, but the bigger blogs who wrote meta frequently at least understood this and would not be stretching to support their own claims if canon didnt back it up. Now no one is perfect of course, but the point is, proper meta writers understand that where they make a claim or interpretation of the source material, they have to site examples and evidence to back up their claims and also take into consideration any evidence to the contrary.

The people who hated destiel and made that their entire personalities didnt do that so much. I read a lot of their meta out of curiosity and every time I was baffled by where they were getting their claims. 'Destiel is necrophilia" was a big one which canon disproved almost straight away in season 5. "Destiel is rape" was another because Cas was using Jimmy as a vessel and yet canon confirmed Jimmy died at the end of season 4. Cas' body was remade by God in season 5 and has remained his own ever since. These are just two of the ridiculous examples supposed "meta writers" among the destiel hater communities would come up with and still use today.

I find it extremely infuriating when I see character/ship hate loosely disguised as meta analysis. I can give people the benefit of the doubt a lot of the time, as fandoms are usually highly emotional spaces, but when there is zero canon evidence to support the claims, when connections are being made on the absolute thinnest of threads, and when far more obvious interpretations are being clearly ignored to support certain viewpoints in such a stunningly obvious case of confirmation bias I have to throw in the towel and stop taking said meta seriously.

One thing I have loved about Sandman fandom so far is the meta. It's such a rich text to analyse, and the show adds an entirely new level to it which makes it all the more enjoyable. I've made no secret of my support for Dreamling and I wrote a very long meta series on Dreamling and how the show in particular uses certain tropes, symbolism, visual storytelling cues, and music, to name a few, to overload a 25 minute sequence with queer coding. It is completely understandable to me why anyone going into the show even without thinking about shipping, would feel like Dreamling hit them like a brick to the face. The creators weren't subtle with it.

Its also totally valid to find romantic interpretations of other pairings within the Sandman. I personally think Morpheus x Johanna was laid on pretty thickly. Morpheus x Lucienne is equally an interesting ship to analyse. But heres the thing, if you ship these other ships and are frustrated that Dreamling has "taken over" thats valid. I get it. I would like more focus on the other characters too. I would particularly like to talk about Lucienne x Gault and have a meta piece in progress about them.

Whats not okay however is for other shippers and people frustrated with Dreamling to go the way of the Destiel antis. Dont make shit up that has no basis in canon just because you need some moral high ground to shit all over the ship you hate. Don't call fans that see Dreamling "deluded" for seeing it. They aren't deluded. It's right there in the subtext. Dont resort to name calling and "gotchas" and use inflammatory language to bait people. And please, I'm begging you, stop claiming that people who ship Dreamling are somehow all overly fragile white racists. You're wrong.

The racism discussions about Hob's past have their place, but these things ARE being discussed, if anything I feel this fandom has done a far better job of handling the issues of slavery than another popular fandom has (looking at you OFMD). No one is forgiving Hob for his slaver past. But you have to acknowledge that the entire point of the story in The Sandman is about change, and growth, and how we can become better people. As another excellent short meta post stated recently "we are more than the sum of our transgressions". The Sandman is all about the shades of grey. No one is morally righteous, but most characters are not completely morally bankrupt either.

Hob Gadling is a controversial character who is often misunderstood by fandom but anyone with proper critical thinking skills and a decent understanding of what meta analysis is, should understand that Hob is a metaphor for humanity first and foremost. He is the average everyman from the perspective of an Englishman and therefore above all else to understand Hob you have to look to England, to Englands history, and to its current status in the world. A lot of blood on its hands yes, but also at least a century of trying to make up for it, a leader in the world in human rights and trying to do better. I have to believe that about this country, so I believe it about Hob too. Whilst I'm not interesting in getting into huge geopolitical debates about England, I hope that we can all agree that the average Englishman today is not a blood thirsty evil slaver/rapist/murderer or whatever else ive seen people accuse Hob of being even in his modern era.

We can argue the faults of the show downplaying slavery for sure. Its a valid criticsm. We can argue that not enough time was given in the show to show that Hob had changed and regretted his former actions. We can critique these things based on what the show has and has not told us, and also pepper in information provided in the comics and what we know about future Hob panels as well.

But when it comes to the blank spaces in between frames, in between cut screens, we can do whatever we like. Because that is where meta analysis ends and fanfiction begins. You wanna write about Hob joining the abolitionist movement and fighting hard to end slavery? You can. You wanna write about him ignoring Dreams advice and continuing to be a brutal slaver right up until slavery was ended in England sure, you go for it. But don't call either of these "headcanons" meta analysis.

Dont use meta analysis as a cover to shit on fandom. The minute you resort to name calling and mockery its no longer meta. No matter how frustrated or upset you are with the current fandom situation. There is always space to criticise fandom. But ask yourself what your end goal is here? What are you trying to achieve? Is it truly because you are on a righteous path to end fandom racism? Or do you just really hate a popular ship and want people to stop shipping it? If it's the former, then focus on that, ask what solutions we can put in place? Where we can truly tackle it on a larger scale, raising awareness of things that people may not realise are racist but are common tropes in fandom (like how making female characters all mothers or sassy gay best friends is misogynistic or how certain stereotypes in fantasy creatures are anti semitic) but if its the latter, then its disingenuous to use racism in fandom as a shield to hide your ship hate. It reduces an important topic to something shallow and irrelevant.

In ending this rant I will just say this. I'm not interested in engaging further on this topic. I'm legit gonna start blocking if anyone attempts to twist my words here. The civil discussions on this matter ended when people started name calling and flinging around accusations without basis. I am more than happy to engage separately in ways to improve fandom spaces for poc, because thats important, but ship hating has no place in that discussion. Drop that aspect, and there'll be less resistance in these topics.

[wifeswarmacademy]

I'm finally joining a lancer game, and I have a lot of thoughts about the system. I gotta say, I feel like the way Ive seen others on here talk about it as a system seems very different from how it appears based on reading the core rulebook (and stats for the free stuff on comp/con). It seems quite limited in terms of what sort of mechs you can create within the system, various prebuilt frames with little room for customization. There are some fun combinations, but its not really building your own guy. (I planning to get an empakaai, grab an impact lance, and get external batteries from tokugawa, so i can melee everyone in a 5 hex line and grapple everyone) In particular im kinda dissapointed that there isnt much interesting for movement. you can run on the ground, with great difficulty you can fly, and you can teleport. Some get some more advanced stuff like blackbeard moving with grappling hooks or deaths head letting you run on walls. As far as I can tell, there is no mechanical support for a mech that moves around as thought they were on rollerskates. Im not joking that this was a major let down when people were talking about being able to recreate their favorite things in mech media, and realizing there wasnt support for this. I understand the lack of rules support is because the way they move with all the different body shapes of the mech is ill defined, but to me it just feels like moving around game pieces when the pegasus in an identical fashion to a raleigh. I just dont get the sensation that my guy is crawling around on the floor in a fucked up way.

I am extremely impressed by how the game handles NHPs. Its rare for a game to get players so excited about the prospect of losing control over something. The mix of mechanical effects and stellar writing makes it just seem really cool to lose control, but I recognize how effective this is is entirely reliant on how good your DM is. The setting is fantastic, and I think there is good reason why when i see people talk about lancer, its so often about the lore. The history of the Union is just great, with everyone ive talked to about it seeming to take different things away from how it operates. In particular, the setup of the game seems to enable just about any type of character people want to play. My friends that made characters vary from over the top and edgy, rogue illegally cloned super soldiers; ironic and amusing, forum lurker turned amateur pilot perpetually hooked into the omninet spewing whatever memes that may or may not be linked to something horrible clawing through to reality; or grounded, a maintenance worker who helped defend a trade ship against pirates and then decided to change profession and receive formal combat training. I would say it is a well done simple RPG with limited options and a phenomenal setting. Simple systems without a lot of numbers are not my bread and butter, but I have to appreciate the style in it.

[nyoomfruits]

6 for the ask thing!

(And bonus 30: tell us about mouse charles please, I am so curious about him. How does max know he’s a mouse? Does he know oscat? Does carlos know?? I need answers please)

6. Are there any fics from others you reread all the time?

i'm going to come COMPLETELY out of left field here but my most reread f1 fic is actually strawberry wine by eiffelover which is an omegaverse pierre/esteban fic that has a grip on me like no other fic quite has. i don't really ship pierre/esteban i've barely read any pierre/esteban fic yet this fic will not Let Me Be. i've read this like over ten times already i think. there's just something about this particular miscommunication and the way it gets solved that makes me feel FERAL every time

CLOSE RUNNER UPS: chronically bitchless but still wifed up by leafmeal0ne which is my ultimate go to comfort cozy fic, THE landoscar soulmate au only found by debrief that never fails to give me the warm fuzzies and hierarchy of needs by toastandvegemite which is a daniel/carlos omegaverse mpreg fic thats just So Good and makes me insane every time i read it

30. ask me anything!

asl;dkfj it's not a fully formed idea yet but i was thinking since max and charles came up in the formulas together max probably learned charles could turn into a mouse at some point. the whole shapeshifter thing isnt like this Big Secret in this universe though most drivers prefer to keep it out of the press. carlos definitely knows, i think its generally considered common courtesy to at least inform your teammate of your shapeshifting abilities. i like to think the shapeshifters form a bit of a community on track so oscar and charles definitely know of each other. maybe mouse!charles even likes to takes naps on top of oscat because COMFY which freaks everyone who Doesnt Know the fuck out because. that mouse is just. sleeping on top of a cat. what the fuck.

anyway i'd have to flesh it out more if i actually wrote it (especially how max found out because i think that could be really funny)

[scared-cr0ws]

hi everyone! i have seen a lot of arguments recently unwillingly on my feed about pro proship (in particular the supports incestuous or pedophilic media kind and not the ships crackships kind) despite having numerous tags blocked for it. so perhaps for the chance that i reach just one person on the fence about the whole ordeal i suppose it to be only fair to speak my mind. that and to clear up any misunderstanding by anyone who supports my art.

i do not support proshipping and i encourage anyone who does to block me. i do not want you anywhere near my work. these types of themes run RAMPANT in the utmv community and it breaks my heart knowing how many younger people are often active here. it is SO demoralizing to see that even the most morally sound and seemingly at-least-semi-aware of consequences people would sit there and not be able to put 2 and 2 together and understand that they are going too far. that being able to mentally justify any representation of incest or pedophilla in any way that isnt condemning it is WRONG. It could be as fake as you want but youre still perceiving and enjoying, or even worse, using your talent to CREATE the type of media that makes genuine scum of the earth feel like they have a place in society and the fact that you either refuse to acknowledge that or just simply dont care makes you just as vile as those who partake in it..

i often see this “if you don’t enjoy something that someone else enjoys just move on” argument but its not about enjoying it versus not enjoying it its about not having the backbone of a soggy piece of paper and knowing that the things you think you shouldn’t romanticize in real life are things you shouldn’t romanticize through the media you consume just because you repeat the fact that its ‘fiction’ over and over.

you FUNDAMENTALLY shouldn’t enjoy seeing two related characters in romantic relationships

you FUNDAMENTALLY should not enjoy seeing an underaged character with an adult

and if you DO its NOT good. it is not good for your psyche and your perception of life and i urge anyone who DOES enjoy these things to seek therapy especially if it comes from a source of past abuse because it is NOT HEALTHY.

i don’t care about crack ships or ‘unhealthy’ ships or literally ANYTHING as long as you aren’t enjoying media of literal ILLEGAL and IMMORAL relationships because of all the media you could consume WHY consume the media that normalizes such awful things and produces content for people who would do such things in real life

and what draws the line between you and them. truly.

[nicoleanell]

I couldn’t decide if Renfield would be fun or a waste of money but all your posts are making me want to see it haha

Listen I don't want to oversell "Renfield", it's a very dumb movie with an extremely predictable plot and hit-or-miss jokes, but it's also fun as hell. It is a solid 90 minutes of EXACTLY what it needs to be and I had a great time, both times.

(I said this to a friend on twitter but when I first heard about this movie being made I was kind of rolling my eyes, but I realize now that was a defense mechanism because I KNEW the power that Renfield as a dewy-eyed tumblr murderboy was gonna have over me.)

Maybe I'm crazy and a specific kind of target audience for this film, but I think they genuinely did... a way better job than I expected with the "Dracula/Renfield as an abusive relationship" thing. The comedy comes from the absurd extremes of the situation, the action scenes in particular are gleefully over-the-top and bloody, but there is this core of earnestness in Nicholas Hoult's performance and the scenes where he plays his fear and broken-ness and self-loathing dead straight.

Meanwhile Nic Cage is Nic Cage-ing it up and being really campy and entertaining whenever he's onscreen, but he's also manipulative and cruel in a way that is actually menacing when it needs to be. So whatever the fuck else is happening (I cannot stress enough AN INSECT IS SNORTED LIKE COCAINE by my new favorite character in the world lmao) there's just the right amount of sincerity and potentially relatable/cathartic stuff underlying it. I can't explain why this movie isnt a tonal mess, but it's not.

(Also: I can confirm after a second viewing with ALL my het goggles on, the second Awkwafina finds out about the familiar stuff they basically drop any pretense of her being his love interest and it becomes more of an alliance/buddies vibe, which is very cute!! Like they don't definitely say not to ship them either, but it's not 100% in either direction about them ending up together.)

(P.S. it really is concerning how attracted I am to Ben Schwartz now. P.P.S. If you've seen the "he won't grow to full power!" bit from the trailer that IS the single funniest line in the movie.)

[sarka-stically]

im mad enough to make 2nd post and I barely post ever. this show was never high tv but this ep rly spat in the face of everything i liked about it. usually i try to be positive but here you got random list of all things terrible in no particular order (vaguelly chronologic who knows)

ALSO I dont take them probably assuming they would have more eps and then scrambling to fit the story in one episode as decent excuse... the stakes they set up in ep7 werent impossible to fix with one ep, they just wrote terrible episode

ed's entire character arc of 2 seasons being rolled into tiny ball and thrown in the trash. and no he isnt slipping or spiralling again, it isnt him being hot protective husband, this is him, character who spent 2 seasons trying and failing to be better and finally decided that the healthiest thing to do is to just drop the lifestyle that brings out the worst in him and pursue simple life THROWING IT OUT after finding out its not as easy as he assumed and he would have to work for it??? incredible fucking message david jenkins, if being better version of yourself is just lil bit inconvenient its not worth it go back to your crappy ways.

and NO its not him slipping, the tone of this whole thing is very distinctly victorious. and also NO the path he took now is not in any way different or better than the one he left. there is even fun triumphant vibe to him KILLING PEOPLE which was always treated as sth BAD for him??? literally absolute nonsense

what the fuck was that plot?? why are all pirates arrested?? when all they did was sink those ships?? i know this show tends to be cooky and silly and cartoony, but this was just absolutely random unexplained jump of stakes.

WHERE THE FUCK are all the other husbands of jackie. this is barely valid complaint but this stupid ep rly makes it look like swede is her only husband and I dont appreciate it

why the unholly hell did they spend entire season actually setting up crew as important, give them their own opinions and relationships to their captains, have izzy even mention that THE CREW is what its all about.... and then have them barely have any speaking roles in this episode and 0 plot relevance

that fucking PLAN??? WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT??? im sorry why the fuck did their plan include walking through the biggest swarm of brits while having mr noseless richie UNSECURED amongst them??? why even BRING HIM other than to have him there specifically so he can be the one to shoot izzy for future drama???

izzy. death.

i genuinely could be FINE with izzy dying if they wrote it decently. and id even be fine with it in this episode. if they made it fucking meaningful... but they had my man, mr famously skilled pirate catch random bullet because he is incompetent actually... bullet into the side of the body that ofmd physics say is survivable easily??? and then give 0 attention to it??

ed being there while he dies??? this truly makes me just feel like they killed him only so in hypoteticky s3 they can woobify poor ed some more... or even give him excuse to be narrativelly clean of any atrocities he does in name of revenge

but it makes no. fucking. sense. ed shluldnt be there saying ur my only family, ed has not treated izzy as family ONCE in this entire show, ed barely talked to izzy after first 3 episodes, he is NOT the person on that ship who cares about izzy the most of all. if anyone should be there while he fucking DIES its the crew. who has shown constantly through this season that they care about him, who he made whole speech about in THIS SAME EPISODE. im sorry frenchie did NOT carry izzy back on the ship to drop him on the floor and have ed who I REPEAT HAS NOT SHOWN HE CARES ABOUT HIM AS MORE THAN AQUITANCE SINCE LIKE EARLY S1 be the one to be there in his last moment.

I get izzy wanting to make amends but BOTH OF THEM SHOULD BE APOLOGISING, HE SHOULDNT VE BEGGING FOR FORGIVENESS and ed shouldnt be framed as blameless in their relationship in izzy's last moment.

and what made me genuinely laugh was izzy saying that the crew is ed's family. they are literally NOT. everyone who was aboard the revenge either hates him or is scared of him, and I dont think they had enough reason to change their minds as ed hasnt rly spent any time with the crew and shown only care for stede. they are NOT ed's found family and this payoff and this found family line is so ridiculously not set up and not narrativelly deserved it makes me laugh.

overall absolutely ridiculizs episode it made me laugh and it made me angry and it also made me angry how quickly we move past that