#this might already be common knowledge sorry just let me ramble I have one hell of a Fixation on studying and I’m insane abt him

[omentranslates]

So I’ve seen a lot of discussion abt this line and how in the anime the subs say “I’m regretting that, a bit” and it’s my understanding that the English manga wrote “That was more than I deserve, maybe” and it kinda fascinates me bc like neither of them are wrong bc it’s both like. Lines like this drive me insane that we can’t have both bc it literally MEANS both of those things it isn’t one or the other in it’s original form like

もったいない is like Almost Always in my experience translated as basically “what a waste” but it’s like non-specific it’s one of those not necessarily literal expressions in a lot of cases and it’s mostly indicative of that sense of regret so like the expression itself FEELS more like what he says in the anime that he’s kinda like “damn maybe I shouldn’t have done that” bc as a phrase it’s used almost like “well that sucks” is in English like the interpretation the manga comes to is correct obviously but it’s not necessarily the only or even first one that you might come to AND ALSO the idea that the time with those girls would’ve been wasted ON HIM bc he doesn’t deserve it is closer to the literal meaning of the phrase (which “more than one deserves” is part of as like a secondary meaning when I looked into it actually I don’t think I’ve seen it used for that directly colloquially but it’s there in the dictionary) LIKE ITS BOTH BOTH VERSIONS REFLECTED DIFFERENT SIDES OF THAT LIKE NATURAL AMBIGUITY and I love shit like this in writing so much bc it’s one of those things that becomes clear the more you get to know the character and how THEY see things bc ultimately the context is what clarifies What They Meant by it like it seems so obvious Knowing Vash but the first time I read this I was like “oh does he have problems connecting :(” and then rereading it later like “WAIT ITS HIS TENDENCIES” it means. Both.

[waterfallofspace]

30 + 46 for v/ashw/ood (with v/ash sneezing) if you feel like it? I love what you’ve been writing for these!

Thank you for the ask, non!! and I'm so glad you've been enjoying them~~ Here is some V/ashwood, and I decided to make them actually an item for this one just for the heck of it, so hopefully that's acceptable hehe~ (Not confirmed dating, but they do kiss, so you can think of it as 'actual boyfriends' or just 'they kiss but haven't talked about it', whatever you would like!) 1.8k, prompts 30 and 46, story under cut! 30. “What’s got you all worked up?” 46. Touching their nose leading to a sneeze (References to swearing and tiny mention of drinking, just in case anyone doesn't like those!)

~~~~~~~

“ketNG’uhh-!” 

“ehTDGnn’huh-!”

"hh’nGkT-!”

By the third, Wolfwood’s book is forgotten on the table, attention solely on the spiky haired man lounging on the couch next to him. In response to his intense gaze, Vash blushes, then raises a fist to crush his nose as another breaks through his defenses.

“haH’EnxgD’uhh-!”

“Are ya almost finished, blondie? My reading is slightly disturbed by the constant noise.” 

A sheepish grin is the response, Vash pawing at his nose once more in what Wolfwood can only assume is an attempt to starve off further interruptions. ‘I don’t think he’s sick, he’d be practically quarantining himself to avoid getting us all sick like usual by now.’ 

“Yeah- yeah, sorry. I’m all done.”

“If you say so.”

Just as the book enters Wolfwood’s hands he hears Vash’s breath catch. His eyebrows climb seemingly on their own as he meets Vash’s gaze over the book.

“You sure you’re done?” 

“heHh-! Yea- aHHhh-! Okay fine, I lied, s- sorry I have to- heh’NGTzz’uh-! knDT’huh-!” 

“Don’t need to ‘pologize, it’s just sneezing.” 

“ndJZT-! Thanks, sor- I mean, uh, thanks..? Or maybe I should sa-”

“Spikey, you’re making my head spin. Just take a breath, you ain’t in trouble.” 

Wolfwood retorts, not missing the wince Vash lets out as he attempts to inhale through his nose. ‘Obviously congested. Given the way he’s holding those in, I’m surprised his head ain’t exploded yet.’ 

“hH’dNch’taa-!”

“Alright, what’s got you all worked up?”

“Wha- nothing, I’m alright, nothing’s up. haH’INgtchaa-! heHh-! Ihh… hehH-! hNGT-!guhhh…” 

The heady sigh that follows sends shivers up Wolfwood’s spine. ‘Christ, if that made me uncomfortable, the hell is it doing to him? Guess I smacked him a little too hard last time he let one out, slapped the common sense right out of his head. The whole point was that we were hiding, not that he was sneezing.’ And yet, instead of voicing his concern, Wolfwood takes a role he finds easier, letting a witty retort slide out. 

“Well that’s obviously not nothing. I wasn’t born yesterday needle noggin, despite you apparently thinkin’ I was.”

Pausing for a second, Wolfwood lets the concern bubbling up in his chest spill over into his tone, placing a hand on Vash’s leg, eyes softening.

“Just tell me what’s wrong. I can’t help if I don’t know what’s happening.” 

“Okay, alright… I might be just a touch sensitive…” 

“Common knowledge.”

Vash lets out a grin, raising a hand to his chest mockingly, before his rambling continues, leg starting to shake, bringing the couch along with him. Trying to maintain focus, Wolfwood can feel his attention being drawn to the vibrations. Something within him stirs, memories starting to flood into his mind. The car shaking around him, watching Vash sleep, the way his tongue dips out against his lips whenever they hit a bump… ‘Damn it, focus!’ 

“Ouch, Nicholas. What I meant was- well okay maybe it’s easier to explain- well see- hold on… eh’KnDG’taa-! Scuse me, sorry, so what happened was, well-” 

“Just spit it out already, blondie. Beginning to feel like a rock during an earthquake over here.” 

A blush starts to pierce its way through Vash’s soft features, a warm tint mirroring the action on Wolfwood’s own cheeks. ‘Why does he look so damn adorable when he’s blushing? It’s wholly unfair. How’s a man supposed to stand firm when the accused looks so-’ 

“Meryl bought some kind of new spray”

The voice slices through his thoughts, sending Wolfwood careening back into the conversation. 

“What?”

“She bought this new spray, I think it might be a perfume, but it might also be something for the car… all I know is she was using it earlier and I’m-” 

A silence settles, Wolfwood finding himself watching Vash’s face contort as another sneeze works its way through his system. ‘It starts with his nose scrunching, then his eyes flutter, but they don’t shut. He’s fighting it, his hand comes up to rub it away, but the action only leads to his chest shaking… likely he just made the tickle worse. Then, sensing defeat, he’ll pinch his nose shut and-’ 

“INgT-!”

‘But his nose isn’t so easily satisfied. He barely gets another breath in before-’

“heH’KNDT-!uhh…” 

‘And since he’s still not let it out, there’s gonna be a thir-’ 

‘H’AInG’taa-!” 

‘So far there’s always been at least three.’ 

“Slightly allergic.” 

“‘Slightly allergic’, huh? Just when did you come in contact with this spray?”

“M- maybe an hour ago..?” 

“And you’re still sneezing this much? That’s hardly ‘slight’, Vash.” 

At the sound of his name, Wolfwood watches Vash’s face darken three shades, a bright smile bursting onto his cheeks. It’s quickly quelled by the incessant tickle returning once more, eyes going blank as his mouth tips open.

“hh’GnDT-! aINGT’uhh-! haH’DTN’shh-!”

“Bless you.”

“Thanks, sorry. It really isn’t that bad, I promise, it’s just that… well… I came in here immediately after, and you were here already, so…”

“So?” “It’s a bit embarrassing…” 

Wolfwood laughs, gesturing to Vash with a shit-eating grin plastered across his face.

“Trust me, I’ve dealt with embarrassing. Have you seen you after a few too many drinks? You were hitting on a rock for almost 20 minutes.”

The comments trigger a deeper blush, Vash lightly swatting at his arm, but they seem to serve their purpose. His eyes have lost the hint of anxiety they were holding before, replacing it with an air of warmth that’s so distinctly Vash. 

“I just need to… sneeze it out. It usually stops after that.”

“That’s all? In that case, I doubt holdin’ em in like you’ve been doin’ is helping remedy the situation.” 

“N- not exactly… but it’s a habit!”

“Where was this ‘habit’ when we were hiding?”

Vash’s response is to rub his nose again, a timid whine escaping as he lets out a “That happened one time…” in reply. Wolfwood smirks, raising himself from the chair and strutting over to the couch, perching beside him, prompting Vash to sit up.

“What are yo-”

Wolfwood silences him by resting a finger between his eyes, laughter vibrating his chest as Vash attempts to cross his eyes to get a better look. Slowly Wolfwood lets his finger trace the bridge of Vash’s nose, the appendage trembling at the attention. He pauses right before the tip, making sure Vash meets his gaze.

“Don’t you dare hold these in, blondie. This is a one time deal, I won’t be offering this service again.”

A nod is all he gets in reply, Vash’s tongue sticking out between his teeth as he gasps, the hitchy quality of each inhale suggesting nodding is all he’s able to manage. Wolfwood responds by tapping the tip, letting his finger brush against his flaring nostrils as he pull away. The result is instant.

“heIShh’aa-! heh’aiyshh’oo-!” 

Vash manages to get his arm up in time to cover the third, “eH’GNshH’iuhh-!” gesturing frantically at Wolfwood for something better to cover with.

“Nic- hddjzshhh’oo-! hh’AIYDZshh’oo-! Nicholas- hAiYshh’aa-! T-tihhSHH’oo-!” 

“Managing to ask for a tissue with a sneeze, pretty impressive, blondie.”

The watery glare he’s met with is entirely for show, the giggle between shaky exhales giving away the truth. ‘He never was able to hide what he really felt. I used to think it was a curse, but the more time I spend with him, the more I’m beginning to think it’s a gift. One I don’t share.’ 

“eHH’GZshh’oo-! Nico, pleaahhh-! Please! hh’DjZshh’aa-!”

“Huh? Oh, right, sorry. I just have a couple napkins I swiped from the car, but they’re clean, if you wan-”

He’s cut off as Vash grabs them, face never leaving his arm. Wolfwood finds himself rubbing loose circles on Vash’s back, chuckling lightly at the groan that escapes after the deep blow. Brushing away the hairs that fell loose during the fit, Wolfwood offers a murmured blessing.

“Bless you.” 

“Th- thank you… and uh… sorry about- eH’dzShh’aa-! Well, that… I know it’s gros-” 

Wolfwood cuts him off with an eye roll, grabbing Vash’s arm and dragging him into a deep kiss. It’s not the first time, and it won’t be the last, but without fail Vash collapses into the embrace every time it occurs. And, without fail, Wolfwood has to break it so they can both breathe, Vash seemingly content to faint in order to keep their lips touching.

“You’re not gross, blondie. Not to me.”

“Tha-”

“Plus, your sneezes are frankly adorable. Nothing compared to mine.”

A melodic laugh dances out of Vash’s chest, Wolfwood finding himself enchanted by the sound. The warmth in his chest spreads to his ears as Vash giggles out-

“I remember the first time you had a cold, nearly killed us all!”

“Hey, it ain’t my fault Meryl’s so jumpy. Woman nearly crashed us into a fucking rock because I had to clear my sinuses.”

Vash laughs harder, tears starting to sprout in the corners of his eyes as he leans into Wolfwood for support. ‘I could listen to this sound forever… if this was the only thing I got to hear for the rest of my life, I would be content.’ 

“heH’aizshh’oo-!”

“Bless you. Not quite done, then?”

“Just a couple leftover tickles, I promise.” 

His nose still has a pink flush, but Wolfwood notices the twitching has stopped, so he decides to take Vash at his word for now. ‘Though if this interaction has been anything to go on, I’d better get that spray away from Meryl before she sparks another reaction. I doubt he has the self preservation to say anything himself.’

“I’ll have a talk with Meryl about not using that spra-”

“No! Nicholas you can’t! She was so excited, and she’ll feel so bad if she finds out, I can’t do that to her over a few sneezes, really, I’ll be fine!”

“Alright, alright. Jeez blondie, don’t blow a fuse. I’ll keep your secret. For now, you should go change. You probably still have some of that spray lingering on your clothes.”

“heH’iDZshh’aa-! I hadn’t even thought of that.”

A smirk works its way over Vash’s face, eyes lit with mischief that, frankly, still sets Wolfwood’s chest on fire, no matter how many times he sees it. As Vash practically purrs out his question, Wolfwood finds himself resisting the urge to pin him to the couch to kiss him again.

“Can I borrow another one of your shirts?”

In lieu of a response, Wolfwood stands, heading towards his room, Vash in toe. As they pass Meryl’s, Wolfwood lets a plan form. ‘If Meryl just happens to misplace the spray, Vash gets to keep being the good guy, Meryl doesn’t have to feel bad, and I don’t have to watch him attempt to subdue another attack. Everybody wins.’ 

Glancing back at Vash’s slightly pink nose as he attempts to rub it against his shoulder while walking, unsuccessfully, Wolfwood lets a smirk flash across his features once more, dropping a step, hand grabbing Vash’s with a light squeeze. 

‘If this is what my life’s been leading to, well… I guess it was worth it after all.’ 

[toonstarterz]

BECAUSE I’M NOT POPULAR, I’LL READ WATAMOTE: CHAPTER #167

Hey, I’m not dead!

Yeah, sorry that took a while. Had a lot of real-life shit to work through, honestly. In any case, I finally sat my butt down to really crack down on yet another fun-tastical chapter. Tomoko’s actually doing what a lot of quasi-incel degenerates are afraid to do in high school and is taking an actual stab at self-improvement. Will karma rear its ugly head, or is the series now beyond that point?

Chapter 167: Because I’m Not Popular, I’ll Spend My Time Wisely unlike me

This is a really pretty shot and...that’s about it. Real pretty. 

Oh dear! The friendship disease has disrupted Tomoko’s gremlin-like body clock and has her waking up early like a healthy human being!

Reminds of that one Gintama episode. You know, that one with Kagura and the sick kid and you don’t care, do you?

I know Japan prides itself on its cheap, quality goods, but Tomoko is a real penny-pincher, eh? Well, she’s a Gen Zer, so I can’t complain.

Not sure if this makes me sound like a perv or whatever, but hot damn, the detail on this model is stupidly good. I mean, just look at the patterning on that bra. You can really tell when Ikko’s really getting into the art.

They’re really milking the armpit fetish, aren’t they?

Tomoko...sweetie...my girl...

You don’t even have a dick. I mean, sure, you could find it fascinating from a purely educational, not-applicable-to-you perspective. And yeah, I suppose it could be useful if you were to start a sexual relationship with a noncanonical male. But to be honest, I can’t help but take it as more signs of your gender dysphoria here. 

I mean, hey, whatever floats your boat.  

Well, they say kids learn more about practical knowledge out in the real world than in school, don’t they? 

Then again, coughgoogleitcough.

I always thought Tomoko was just having some kind of psychosomatic experience when she talks about being de-energized from a lack of sexual stimulation. 

Now I’m inches from calling that shit an actual, physiological withdrawal.

Ah, the good ol’ days. Back when future prospects felt like a lifetime away and you could spend days on end dicking around, lamenting the need to get serious, and disregarding your resolve right after because you secretly didn’t really care.

...I gotta stop projecting.

Despite Tomoko proving time and again that she can be a crass-hole with a negative outlook on life, it’s when she does childish things like laying your head on your arm when studying and cuddling her plushies that her innocent side pops up and you realize that Tomoko’s a legitimate cutie. 

Fake-smoking? Tomoko, stop! If you keep this up, you’ll turn from a deconstruction of a cute, moe girl to becoming an actual cute, moe girl.

I only just noticed that Tomoko’s wearing a “happy” shirt. Remember when she was sporting the “alone” shirt back in year one? Even her clothes get character development.

Oh, shit. Your girl Yuu-chan talking this whole cram school thing seriously even though she’s at a disadvantage. You see, this is why Yuu is literally the best. Despite being at the “top” of the school clique food chain, she has not once ever felt like “bottomfeeders” like Tomoko and Komi were below her in any way. Sure, she knows they’re weirdos, but she makes those acknowledgments without judgement, and all while putting herself on the same leveling field. She doesn’t love them ironically–she loves them sincerely, and that’s why Yuu is awesome. 

Sorry if this turned into a ramble, but Yuu only gets like, one panel of dialogue nowadays and I wanted to make the most of it. 

Tomoko be raising that “phone-call” flag like a motherfucking chad. 

...

...

...

Oh, sorry. I saw Yuri with her hair down and lost track of time.

...

...

...

Damn, Yuri’s pretty.

Black leggings at home? That’s exactly the kind of conservative attire Yuri would wear and only Yuri could look amazing in. Seriously, If Ikko hadn’t become a manga artist, she would have made a damn fine fashion designer.

And Tomoko be crushing that “home-visit” flag like a motherfucking chode.

I could make a pretty tasteless joke about how “haha, Yuri will never look at you like you’re trash like she does at Tomoko,” but, 

a. it’s just the angle of the smartphone like Yuri said, and

b. you’d probably prefer to get denied like that, wouldn’t you?

I can’t help but wonder if Tomoko realizes just how homoerotic she sounds. Like, does she have any inclination that her borderline-sexual harassment jokes could easily be misconstrued as flirting? Sure, she might be using the old excuse that “we’re both girls, so it’s fine right?”, but given that Tomoko at least knows about LGBTQ+, you’d think it would have at least crossed her mind.

Or maybe, on a sadder note, Tomoko doesn’t see it as flirting because she really does have zero faith in her own attractiveness...  

There is no heterosexual reason for this exchange whatsoever.

Alright, so I’m a dude, so...hell do I know. But do girls typically not wear bras when just lounging around the house? I know Tomoko is the kind to just wear tank tops if she can help it, but I always thought that was a characterization unique to her, and that other girls wear bras for the comfort and support like any other undergarment. I mean, sure, Yuri’s kind of reserved, but I wouldn’t think wearing a bra at home would be considered an oddity, yeah? I ask this out of genuine curiosity, but I’ll stop before it gets too creepy.

Side note, you can officially tell when Yuri gets pissed by her nose crinkles.

I could give a long, analytical spiel about why Yuri didn’t give Tomoko a straight answer and speculate on what she was doing, but I eventually realized the answer was actually really simple:

It didn’t fucking matter to the story.

The last time Tomoko had one of these “I know!” moments, she ended up trimming her pubes on a class trip. But surely Tomoko’s character growth wouldn’t allow something like that to happen again, would it not?  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Adorbs.

Can’t fight awkward with awkward, can you?

Tomoko, what are you playing at? You just said that video chatting was erotic and tried to get Yuri to lewd herself for you. And now you were planning to appear on-screen totally naked and you somehow don’t see any sexual implications for this at all? Finding it funny would be an elementary schooler’s mentality. If you seriously have no confidence in your sexuality, then sweetheart, you need some help. 

You ever notice that Tomoko can lie through her teeth when trying to screw with people, but when lying to be nice, it sounds so phony? I think that says a lot about the kind of person she is.

Ya’ll knew I was gonna add this panel, didn’t you?

I was never one to go crazy about blushing anime girls ‘cause to me, it always felt like it stemmed from some sadistic desire to see girls look uncomfortable. So while I can’t get behind it for reasons like that, I can admit that Yuri’s blush is fucking precious and I think that’s because I love seeing her so emotionally transparent for once. It feels rare, raw and well-earned after all this time, so yeah. A++ 

Oh, Tomoko, if only you knew that skill often has nothing to do with it. Yuri’s not embarrassed because she sucks at humming, but because you saw a side of her that she only lets out in private. Trying to reassure her is a good move, but putting the girl on blast like that is not going to end well.  

I felt like the vibration alone would’ve left a huge-ass crack on Yuri’s phone screen. This whole moment is like eleven tiers of funny because even though Tomoko is probably miles away, the impact of Yuri’s punch still jostles her. It also helps that we can visibly see Yuri’s fist come down mere millimeters from Tomoko’s mug. 

There is no escaping her wrath, Tomoko.

I feel you, girl. For me, nothing beats a good ol’ burger and fries after a hard day of studying.

Careful there, Tomoko. If there’s one thing that studying has taught me (other than I hate it), it’s that you could get serious burn out if you go all-out on the first day, especially if you’re typically not a regular studier. Always make sure to get dem breaks in. 

That sounds like the kind of line you’d see in a mainstream shounen action manga like [ ]. I don’t even have a direct reference here, so feel free to fill in the blank.

Hey, with Tomoko’s luck, I was expecting karma to hit her harder than Truck-kun in an isekai anime, so I consider this a small loss. 

Man, remember when we were young and had ambitions as high as the sky, and we all wanted to change the world by being firefighters, astronauts, idols, and presidents?

Kind of sucks that “financial stability” has become our goal in life as we enter adulthood. Perhaps that’s just the mindset creative-types like Tomoko have towards the STEM industry when it’s hard to see what makes that world so personally fulfilling. 

Oops, my opinions are starting to seep in, so let's move on.

Nooo, don’t do it, Nico Tanigawa Tomoko! Don’t sell out your passions for financial security even though it’s a totally viable career decision! How else are we going to validate the pursuit of our artistic dreams?  

How in the hell is Tomoko balancing that drink? I’m willing to let it pass for rule of cute, but I don’t care how secure that cup is. One wrong move and those practice sheets are done for. 

Jesus Christ, Nemo is on some otherworldly dimension of cute right here.

I don’t even think Tomoko is trying to one-up her or anything. This is already the most effort she’s given to study in a single instance, so I think she genuinely just wants to share this personal accomplishment.

You know, while it’s already been established that Tomoko and Nemo have different tastes in anime, that doesn’t necessarily mean they wouldn’t watch the same show, right? Just for different reasons. While Nemo would watch her cute slice-of-life series earnestly, Tomoko would probably watch them ironically MST3K-style. In any case, it’s a good way for them to find some common ground.

Bruh, Nemo must be over the fucking moon for this opportunity. Think about it: when was the last time she’s had someone to watch anime with her? After concealing her power level for so long, this could be the first time Nemo has had a fellow anime fan to geek out over a series with. And not just discussing it afterward, but actually reacting to a live episode together.  

Nemo may give Tomoko all kinds of shit, but this is actually what she wanted all along, wasn’t it?

Boy, Tomoko sure gets pretty demanding when she’s sleep-deprived, huh? I’d hate to see how loose her inhibitions get when she’s stark-raving drunk.  

Is this referencing the Quintessential Quintuplets anime? I don’t know anything about it other than that’s a kickass title.

Hey now, Tomoko, beggars can’t be choosers. Let Nemo give you the play-by-play at her own pace. She’s even acknowledging that you hate the source magazine without a hint of judgment. She’s gonna go places.

At first, I thought all this recent armpit content was just an incidental joke. Then I thought it was the mangaka slyly inserting their fetish into the series. Then I realized the series turned the joke on its head and made it a meta-reference about their very thing their readers were accusing them of. 

Well played.  

You ain’t slick with that leg service, Nino Tanigawa. Just sayin’.

Seriously though, I love the dynamic going on in this conversation. Tomoko and Nemo are approaching the discussion from different outlooks, the former looking at it from a degenerate’s perspective and the latter looking at it more optimistically. But even so, they’re not trying to “get the upper hand” like they might've done before. They’re simply having a totally organic talk about what they do and don’t like about the series, while still recognizing each other’s personal preferences. For once, it’s completely devoid of passive aggressiveness and it really shows how earnest their friendship has become.

At some point, I think Tomoko’s consumed so much near-pornographic content that pretty much all anime, manga, VNs, etc. looks like the same hentai to her.  

Every fiber of my being says that this is a reference to Komi-san Can’t Communicate, but it could just as well be the mangaka shooting themselves in the foot for a good joke. In any case, I do like how they point out shy, socially awkward girls is a rising trend that borders on romanticizing communication problems. 

Does that make Watamote a hipster manga since it did the whole “social anxiety girl” shtick before it was cool? 

I wanted to make a pretentious joke about how basic that anime sounds and how I’m so above a show that panders to the masses, but even I like junk food, so I’ll spare you the hypocritical humor.

If Ucchi caught a glimpse of this, she’d probably explode right on the spot.

I spent a good five minutes trying to decipher how Tomoko’s sleeping expression could be seen as “happy”, and I realized that it’s not that she looks happy. It’s that she doesn’t look unhappy. I’d imagine that those plagued by anxiety and stress have it evident on their face when they sleep, so the fact that Tomoko fell asleep in relative bliss must mean she’s had a pretty satisfying day. To top it all off, this is one of the few times someone–and Nemo of all people–has seen Tomoko in all her vulnerability. 

And you know what? Nothing bad happened. No punchline undermining the moment, no sarcastic quip, no embarrassment. Just genuine sweetness and it really speaks to the series’ faith in its heartwarming moments.

As a final note, I just wanted to thank everyone again for their patience. I’ve been trying to put a fresh spin on this, making it a little more comedic since its honestly getting harder to “analyze” without constantly repeating myself. It’s a lot of fun, and I hope you guys enjoy it for what it is.

[unleash-hell-little-one]

Commonality

Preview:

“Why don’t you buzz off with the rest of the idiots?” He says, this time at his leveled voice.

Momo rubs her arm and she softly responds.

“ I don’t really like dancing. “

Bakugou sits at a table by himself, trying his hardest to appear bored out of his mind. A select few of Class 1-A as well as All Might earned themselves a trip to I Island, a man-made island known to be at the forefront of scientific discoveries. All Might, with his many connections, scored an all expenses paid trip to reacquaint with his former sidekick David Shield. The two congregated with the other adults, drinking and talking through their past adventures.

The spiky blonde scanned the room. The dance floor was currently occupied by a crowd of high energy teenagers, dancing to an EDM song. He saw Deku and the blonde girl Melissa dancing together which looked more like Deku awkwardly jutting his arm and legs every few seconds. His face flushed and had an expression of discomfort. Uraraka and some of the other girls were enjoying themselves by the buffet while Kaminari was in the corner annoyedly charging phones.

"Bakugou?"

The teen turned to his left and was greeted by the vice president's concerned face. She was wearing a mint colored dress, some gold jewelry and white heels. Her spikes were styled in a peculiar way.

"What do you want Ponytail?"

She tilts her head curiously, "You're not dancing?"

Bakugou scoffs and narrows his eyes, "Me sitting on this chair not obvious enough for you?"

"Oh, well…it is a welcoming party for us. You should at least show a little appreciation for the host."

"Appreciation my ass. I didn't even want to come here."

There was a prolonged pause between the two. Yaoyorozu took a seat, despite Bakugou not offering. It had been a few months since the Class 1-A was established and Yaoyorozu hadn't found much time to interact with every student, let alone the intimidating Bakugou Katsuki. The boy was as approachable as a time bomb.

Not wanting to disgrace the title of vice president, Momo strived for any sort of common ground with the spiky haired blond next to her. Her eyes darted around and sees a curious design on his vest.

"Ah! We're matching! Look Bakugou!"

Yaoyorozu points at his side and the boy sits up, clearly annoyed.

"The hell are you rambling about?"

"We have the same color see? My dress and your floral pattern." Momo excitedly says, she smiles at him, already feeling an ominous aura from his glares.

"Keep you hands and eyes to your damn self!"

"S-sorry."

Well that was a complete disaster, Momo thought as she sighed. Bakugou appeared to have calmed down slightly but huffs as he crosses his arms. He faces the dance floor once again.

"Why don't you buzz off with the rest of the idiots?" He says, this time at his leveled voice.

Momo rubs her arm and she softly responds.

"I don't really enjoy dancing. "

Momo senses no change in his irritated look and decided to elaborate a little.

"Frankly, I'm terrible at it. I've been trying to hide from Hagakure and Ashido. They'll want me to join but I'm afraid I'd just look like a fool."

Bakugou seemed as if he didn't hear anything she had just admitted. His lack of a reaction unexpectedly made Momo feel more relaxed. As expected, Bakugou didn't really like getting involved in people's affairs. He seems to be the kind of guy with a one track mind.

Oh what the heck, Momo internally shrugs. Her attempt at a civil conversation couldn't be any worse so she then decides on a much mundane topic. Seems to be the no nonsense kind. Might as well give it a try.

"So how did you find the exam Bakugou?"

"Hm. I know I destroyed it."

Wow, a response. And a non-threatening one as well. Momo blinks and nods softly. She knows he's exceptionally smart, but the recent exam had been particularly brutal, even with her S - Class intelligence.

"And?" Momo urges him on.

Bakugou stays quiet again, worrying Momo that he was going to revert back to yelling at her. He tightens the grip he had on his forearm and scoffs for the umpteenth time.

"Question 45? Fucking bitch."

Momo's face brightens as she almost slams on the table, "Right?! I was stuck on it for three minutes!"

"Who the hell needs to know Dalton's Law? Of course, the sum of two or more partial pressures would be the same as the total pressure! That piece of shit created a physics law basically saying one plus one equals two!"

"And Question 71? My goodness, molecular orbital theory was not even in the curriculum this semester and yet you have to explain why electrons are not assigned to individual bonds between atoms? I know it, but what about students like Kaminari who haven't even the basic knowledge of chemistry? It's like they want us to fail!"

"Swear to god Aizawa was so smug when he added that chemistry question. That bum ass looking weirdo!"

Momo eases down on her chair and released a soft giggle, "It is so refreshing to hear someone with the same frustrations. People usually assume that I study for fun. I only try so hard because it's directly linked to my Quirk."

Bakugou looks down on his hand and closes it into a fist, "People think that I'm too busy blowing shit up to open a book. Doesn't matter how high of a score I get, there's still some retard accusing me of cheating."

Momo nods in sympathy. She places a hand under her chin in contemplation. "I am curious about that. You're very intelligent Bakugou. I suppose it has something to do with your sleeping habits."

"My what?"

"You sleep earlier than most people our age. Your memory's probably well consolidated."

Bakugou taken aback from the compliment, seemed to be a little flustered. He blinked a few times and was about to respond when two figures came up in front of them unexpectedly.

"Hey Bakugou come join us!" Kirishima appeared to the two sitting on the table with Ashido in tow.

"Yaomomo! There you are! What are you doing sitting there?" Mina asked happily.

Momo's fears came in an unexpected rush as the thought of being pushed into the dance floor had her dreading. Mina looks to her expectantly.

"Ah Ashido! U-um I'm not confident dancing-"

Mina tugs Momo's arm grinning, "Don't be embarrassed Yaomomo you gotta-"

"Ponytail was being an idiot and sprained her foot. She's letting it rest."

Momo darted her eyes to Bakugou, his were closed but his snare was evident.

Mina gasps and kneels to Momo's legs. "Oh no! That's terrible honey let me see!"

Without even thinking, Momo quickly created an ice pack from her leg as she pulled her skirt. She smiled and rubbed her foot in assurance.

"Oh, that's good you have an ice pack. Just make sure you take it easy okay?"

"I will. Thank you, Mina."

Ashido's eyes widened as she hugged Momo, "You said my first name! Yay!"

Kirishima smiles as he sees the two girls having a moment. He turns to his stubborn friend and asks, "So how about you Bakugou?"

"No shit for brains I'm not dancing with you idiots!"

Kirishima shrugs replies, "Thought it would be polite to ask. At least you have Yaoyorozu keeping you company here."

The red-haired teenager turned to Momo and rubs the back of his neck in apology, "Sorry you're stuck with this guy Yaoyorozu."

"Not at all. Bakugou and I were discussing some chemistry theories. Would you like to hear them?"

Upon hearing the end of Momo's sentence, Mina takes Kirishima's arm and pulls him towards the dance floor in panic. She'd been on the brunt of Momo's scientific explanations. She does not want to experience that again.

"Uh no thank you. C'mon Kirishima let's leave these two nerds to discuss."

"Okay, I'll see you guys." Momo says as she waves.

The pair runs back to join the class and Momo sees Bakugou's shoulders visibly sags. He mutters beneath his collar.

"Thanks."

Momo smiles brightly as she places her hand under her chin. Academically, she was at the top but now the opportunity to dispute with a fellow intellectual seemed too good to pass up. Bakugou Katsuki...I've got a pretty good measure of you.

"Now…about Dalton's Law. I personally believe it's justified."

"Hell no! That shit is so useless!"

"I think not."

From the center of the room, Kirishima and Ashido hears the commotion that Momo and Bakugou were causing. There was a lot of yelling involved which for Bakugou was to be expected, but Momo was also participating.

"Yaomomo and Bakugou are really getting into it. Is chemistry really that intense?"

[neioo]

SUMMARY: They thought it was over once the ‘Plan’ was completed. Time had passed. Most of their wounds had healed, but unknown to them, there were still other Nations, forgotten Nations, who continued to be tortured and experimented on.

All until one man, also forgotten, decided to rescue them and craft his revenge.

His actions cause the secrecy of the ‘Plan’ to crumble. Those who were involved are exposed. And as their punishment, they’re forced to work as pawns. Their ideals are again challenged—their humanity put to the test. Are they doing the right thing? Who can they trust? But most importantly:

Are they to blame?

This book is a Sequel to Are we humans? THE BOOK is available for purchase (HERE) or (HERE) as well as can be found (here) on AO3. As it’s a sequel, AWH can also be found (here) on AO3

Thank you so much for sticking with me! A bunch of rambling about this novel and updates on WDWW under the cut ^^

It’s done. It’s finally fucking done.

I mentioned this when I posted the proof, but my spring semester was rough, and then I catapulted myself into a study abroad in China for two months, which was very labor-intensive (10+ hours of work every day, not to mention going to 5 hours of classes)

I’m alive, though, so that’s cool.

I think DFU after being editing is way better than when I started. Are there still mistakes? Probably. Typos? I hope not, but…I was trying to go really fast at the end.

But Maddie, shouldn’t you stay with DFU and release it when it’s perfect?

I’m one person who’s doing this in their free time and at this point, I’ll be pissed if I find something wrong, but I’ve just come to accept it. If you purchase this or read on AO3 and see something, I apologize.

My editor really helped a bunch, so thank you so much. DFU is better because of you ^^

Updates:

Sorry for not touching WDWW in a month (I needed to focus on DFU and I needed a break as people do every now and then). I have an outline for the next two chapters, and I’ve already started writing the next

Ha ha.

I think I planned too many chapters. 6 (yes 6) seem unimportant so I’ll probably be scrapping them, making the total to 15 chapters. idk I’m not sure if this’ll be longer than 45k. That’s either cool or not cool. I’ll be done it soon! But I’ll also be done the AWH AU soon so.

Still gotta edit the fucking thing, though. You’re not free of me quite yet

In all honesty, I want to go back and edit AWH more too (I know jesus), but that’s still up in the air

Once WDWW is edited and done, I’m not writing any more hetalia fanfiction. I’ve done my support for the fandom. 再fucking见

(nah I’ll probably be sad and have an identity crisis but considering I’m only on chapter six as of now, and then I have to edit, we have at least 5 months before that happens)

What’s afterwards then? Probably OC work. I do want to get a novel published one day. And this blog? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ maybe I’ll go into the void like George deValier . you son of a gun George

o/

Goodies! Or whatever. 

Here’s what I posted at the back of DFU that you can read here if ya want:

I was a freshman sitting in my high school’s library, named the ‘Knowledge Commons’ because the school was a newly opened IB only high school within my school district, and I guess the ‘Head Master’ felt the need to be pretentious. I was the only kid in there. It was the first year and there were only two grades, and most kids had class while I opted to take a free period. My friend Simran got out of orchestra early and ran in there to find me.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

I was probably fucking around on YouTube, looking up anime OSTs, but it’s hard to remember. “Nothing.”

“You should watch this new anime I found!”

I frowned. “Yeah, but I’m watching Soul Eater right now.”

“No, trust me. Have you ever heard of Hetalia?”

“Vaguely. I was thinking I might watch it next.”

“Watch it now! The episodes are only 5 minutes, and it’s on YouTube.”

I shrugged. “Okay.”

And that’s the story of how I sold my soul.

Simran left me in the middle of me watching the first episode. I don’t know where she went—the bathroom? But I was left alone and confused as all hell.

But I kept watching.

I never did finish Soul Eater, by the way.

I immediately got sucked into the Hetalia universe, and with the 2012 Olympics approaching; I started daydreaming weird scenarios with the characters. That summer, I was also working at a horse camp, and the times when I was doing mind-numbing manual labor work, I would also daydream.

It was somewhere in late 2013 that Are We Humans? was fully laid out in my head. The universe started with the single scene of Spain and Prussia rescuing France from Nazis (which I’ve never even written yet), and then expanded into…this.

It was in late 2013 when I was taking a shower that I finished daydreaming about how Prussia was rescued and happy, realized that: “I could make this a complete novel,” and then immediately got irrationally angry. I had told myself I would never write fanfiction because then I could never get it published.

So I refused to write it.

I focused on OC work, but then in my junior year of high school, we started learning about the Second World War and the Cold War.

Before this, I never cared for history class, but I started paying attention for the sole fact that I could ‘make my Hetalia daydreams more historically accurate.’

In May 2015, I graduated high school.

And I was bored.

A few weeks passed, and I tried to entertain myself. It was on June 9, 2015 that I dug through my computer to look at my old writings.

On that fateful day, I found something I wrote in 2014.

I was at an internship for school—if you could call it that. It was a three-day thing where I went to a company, interviewed people, then sat around and tried to bide my time. It was in one of those down periods that I desperately tried to entertain myself by writing.

AKA, I wrote the first two chapters to Are We Humans?

It was in first person. The last OC novel I wrote in was that, so it only seemed fitting at the time. But on June 9th, 2015, I knew that people hated reading fanficion in 1st person, so I change it to 3rd, posted it online, and then shut my computer for the rest of the night.

The first comment I ever got, was “Nice drawing :)” back when I posted my own artwork with the fic. I was immediately flabbergasted, thinking no one would ever comment on it, let alone read.

Since then, the entire series grew. I finished Are We Humans? in a little over six months, and after doing so didn’t think I would write a sequel. But then, somewhere in March 2016 I was walking laps outside my dorm, and came up with this entire idea. Honestly, I wasn’t going to write this either until I got bored, yet again, in summer 2016.

Shout out to my job, which was mind numbing but had enough downtime that I could furiously write the chapters to DFU in a notebook.

I’ve singled people out on AO3, so to those who I expressed my gratitude there, thank you so much again. This universe has been enjoyable for me to write. I may never be able to officially publish it, but at this point this project is just a labor of love, and to have these paper copies are enough for me.

Prussia was always going to die. Even if I never wrote the sequel, I was trying to hint at that he would die in Are We Humans? If we’re being real, this universe was invented around him. He may not be the central focus 100% of the time, but nevertheless, I’m happy I got to explore his character.

Er ist mein Sohn, und ich liebe ihn. Vielleicht ist er tot, aber er lebt immer in meinen Herz.

Again, to all those who have read, thank you. It’s your support of the fic that pushed me to finish and expand this universe.

And to my brother, who used to make jokes about how Prussia is dead, look at what you did. If you, dear reader, wanna blame anyone, blame Steven, who’s begrudgingly listened to me ramble about hetalia for 5 years now.

[sns-tropes]

fic: my heart held in your hands - chapter 5

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4

summary:   The war is over and Sasuke finally comes home. But Konoha wont let a missing-nin back into their midst without leashing him first. Naruto sticks by his side the whole time.

pairing: sasuke/naruto (ninja!verse) post-698

rating: Mature

word count: 2,429

warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, panic attacks, eventual explicit content in later chapters

Sasuke has always been a man of very few words. Even when you bring up a topic that genuinely interests and intrigues him, you still cannot get very much out of him. Unless you are presenting some diabolical plan of destruction or genocide, he's not good with topics.

 Sakura is sitting across the table from him at the smallest and least frequented café in the village. Their waitress comes and sets down two steaming cups of tea. Neither of them move to thank her or pick up their tea. The tension in the air is almost palpable.

 Sasuke is the first to speak surprisingly.

“I didn’t want to come.” He says solidly. “I don’t like talks.”

 “I’m aware.” She rolls her eyes.

 “Naruto said I should.” He mumbles.

 “Since when do you listen to anyone?” It’s true. He never has. And no has ever really expected him to after everything that’s happened.

 “Since now.”

 Sakura breathes out. She wants to get this over with without getting too much into detail.

 “I know about you and Naruto.”

 His face doesn’t change. He doesn’t want to give her a reaction yet.

 “He came to my office and was worried that I hate you. Because he loves you. And because he wants us to be a team, always.” She's simplifying it in the worst way, but she knows if she doesn't grab Sasuke’s attention or peak his concerns in the first two sentences, he's giving up on hearing her out. “He didn't say those words exactly, but it's clear he's emotional over it.”

 “Do you?” He questions neutrally. It seems that it's the only part he felt needed clarification.

 “Hate you?” She asks, like she’s surprised it would matter to him in the first place. That wasn't the point of this. The point was Naruto.

 He nods his head once.

 “No.” She answers immediately. “No, I don’t hate you. I think you have a lot to figure out still. And I think you’re reckless and selfish and impulsive and I think you’re going to end up hurting him.” And now she’s rambling but at least it’s the truth. At least she's getting to what she really wanted to say to him.

 “We are a team.” She tells him plainly. “We always have been. Even if the whole village thinks you're not worth it, Naruto will always stand by you.” She pauses for a moment, breathes deep. “I will always stand by you.”

 He seems genuinely deep in thought about what she's saying to him. But he's still missing her point in what exactly she's trying to lecture him about. She's giving him support, but also simultaneously calling him reckless and selfish.

 “What are you trying to say?” He finally questions.

 “Just remember it.” She almost whispers. “Just remember we're always going to stand by you. No matter what. Don't throw that away. Because he needs you.”

 He still finds himself bewildered by their loyalty to this very day. They aren't even blood related, and he'd never admit it out loud but both of them have more dedication to him than he ever wanted to acknowledge.

 Even though at one time or another they've all tried to kill each other, quite literally, they love him. They love him like family. They are his family.

 He won’t throw it away. He can't. Because the way things are right now are good for him. He knows that.  He’s trying to think of something to say. Something that isn't ‘thank you.’

 “I…” he starts. He thinks he knows what he wants to say. “I won’t.”

  She raises those pink eyebrows of hers in question. She's waiting for more, for him to continue.

 “I think that maybe I need him more than he needs me.” He laughs sounding a little defeated. He almost regrets the words the moment they leave his mouth. They're not untrue, just difficult to say. He feels a little hysterical upon confessing it. “He's stronger than I am.”

 He doesn't know what's happened to him. He felt strong with his hatred. He felt strong when he was enraged and fueled with determination for vengeance. That all seems so foolish now. So much wasted time. It feels… wrong.

 Naruto made him weak, he thought. Because he makes him want to feel. He makes him want to fight for something good and pure and right. He makes him want things for himself.

 It's not what he's used to. But he knows that no matter what kind of life he lives that Naruto will always be stronger than him. But more than that, Naruto is his strength as well.

 Sakura is bewildered by his words and it's obvious. She's at a loss for words, so she waits for him to continue.

 “He's… important to me.” Sasuke says out loud but almost like the words aren't for Sakura. It's like the thought is new and he's testing the weight of the words on his own lips.

 "But Sasuke…” she bites her lip with a worried and hesitant expression. “He's in love with you… can you say the same about him?”

 He can't seem to breathe deep enough. He's not panicking but admitting it is completely different than thinking it. He thinks back to every significant thing that's ever happened to him, something he does far too often. Every hideous thing that has ever taken place, all the awful things that he's done; all of the hardship and tears and bloodstains, through all of it, Naruto never even flinched. He was going to die with him. Naruto was more ready to die than anyone could ever be when he was beside Sasuke.

 “I can.” He finally says.

 She doesn't say anything back. Just sips her tea and nods, looking content.

 He follows suit.

  He goes home that afternoon feeling a little unlike himself. Not completely unlike himself, but a little split open. He's nervous to see Naruto because now that he's said everything out loud, he's feeling vulnerable. It's irritating, and he's hoping it goes away soon.

 He hopes Sakura isn't going to hold anything against him and that she also has the sense to keep everything he said to herself. Because he doesn't plan on letting it become common knowledge. He doesn't really think he needs to tell Naruto. He sort of hopes that Naruto already knows.

 It's obvious that they're more than friends. They've kissed and they've touched and they've undressed to get under the warm spray of the shower together. Friends don't do that. He knows that. He’s not trying to kid himself into assuming that they could go back to being platonic. Hell, Sasuke can’t think of anytime where they were platonic. Naruto clawed his way into Sasuke’s heart practically from the moment they met.

 He's not a child; he doesn't want to be immature about these things. He's just apprehensive because sometimes when they're together in that way, all he can think about is the fact that he's a virgin. Which is ridiculous, but it would be so much easier if Naruto acted like a virgin also. Because he is one. Sasuke knows he is. But he acts like he knows what he’s doing. He acts like he knows what he wants.

 Which should piss Sasuke off, but if he's honest with himself it sort of just turns him on. It just makes him stupidly needy. It's nice to have someone else take the reins for once. But he would only ever let Naruto see him that way.

 When he comes through the door Naruto is sitting on the bed with his back against the headboard. His eyes lift for a moment from the paperwork he's glancing over to greet Sasuke.

 “Hey,” Naruto says, and goes back to reading, eyes carefully scanning the stack of paper. There's several other documents scattered on the bed and the table. He's sloppy as always, Sasuke thinks.

 “What is all this?” He asks, taking off his coat. It’s getting easier to do so as he gets used to it.

 “Briefing.”

 “You're going on a mission?” He questions.

 “Yeah, tomorrow. It might be as long as 5 days.”

 Sasuke wants to bicker and say ‘you didn't tell me?’ But he says nothing. He sits across from him on the mattress, legs criss crossed.

 “Sorry I didn’t tell you. I just took it today. It was sort of a last minute thing.” Naruto says ‘sorry’ lightheartedly. But Sasuke isn’t feeling lighthearted right now.

 He tries to be conversational instead of irritated by asking what rank the mission is.

 “It's an S-rank.” Naruto says slowly. He isn't meeting Sasuke’s eyes.

 “You've never been on an S-rank.” Sasuke says quickly without thinking. It comes out sounding like worry.

 “O…kay.” Naruto says looking at him like some foreign person whom he doesn't know.

 “I mean. I mean, can you go? Are you prepared?”

 Naruto squints at him and looks entirely thrown off. “I don't know what's up with you but I'm pretty sure if we can basically save the world from all encompassing doom, then I can tackle an s-rank mission.”

 Sasuke doesn't say anything back. He has a point.

 Naruto takes his pointer finger and pokes him hard in the chest. “You're being weird. Is everything alright?”

 Ah Naruto is so conveniently insightful.

 “Oh, how did tea with Sakura go?” He smiles in anticipation. Sasuke knows how fucking bad Naruto wants them to get along with each other.

 “It was… fine.” He settles on. “No bloody noses.” And he could have put it more eloquently but the topics weren't for sharing yet.

 “Are you sure you're alright?”

 He thinks he's alright. He's feeling a little raw. Like somebody poked their way into his heart and searched around until they found all of his weak spots to prod at. People caring so much about him didn't faze him before, but now he's so struck by it that it feels like a flood.

 That's the perfect way to describe what he's feeling. It's like a flood of everything he's ever needed yet constantly denied himself of.

 And here's Naruto sitting in front of him, looking at him with that subtle gleam in his eyes. He gets closer, always closer and reads him like an open book that he'll never want to put down. He senses the openness - the hesitance paired with it.

 “Come here.” He says, reaching for his shoulder to pull him closer.

 Sasuke obediently lays on the right side of him, draping his right arm over Naruto’s torso while his missing appendage nudges underneath his back.

 They don't wear their prosthetics at home. Not if they don't have to. Sasuke has yet to use it more than once.

 Naruto turns and scoots so they're lying face to face. Sasuke's eyes are downcast so he doesn't have to look him in the eyes.

 “Hey…” Naruto says quietly. It makes him look up. “I'll miss you too.”

 For some reason, his heart clenches at the words. He never thought he would miss someone. Not someone living.

 Fingertips are underneath his jaw, gently sweeping across the smooth skin. Naruto looks indecisive.

 “Can… can I kiss you?”

 He's asks a lot. Always asks permission. Sasuke is sure it's because Naruto is desperate not to scare him away. But he'll say yes. He'll always say yes. He nods his head ever so slightly. Naruto wouldn't have been able to detect it if he wasn't so close.

 When he feels that soft, decisive press of Naruto’s  mouth on his, it's like something in him quietly pulls and snaps.

 They kiss like that, slow and soft and patient in the afternoon light that barely filters through the blinds as the sun creeps down.

 The thought of Naruto leaving on this mission and coming back as anything less than himself, anything less than what's right here in front of him, scares the hell out of him.

 He pulls him closer, needier than he's ever felt.

 Naruto gives him enough to leave him on the edge of something. Something dangerous that he doesn’t know how he’ll come back from.

[ascendingdevillived456-blog]

Am I pessimistic or just real?

Most of the time I feel like I'm accidentally surviving my own life. Not to sound like I'm bitching, but I don't have any idea why I'm alive. I've been trying to keep my life simple, but found out that is a very complicated and arduous task. I, physically, am 30some years old, and deeply know my spirit or soul or life force or whatever you want to label it as is old as fuck. I'm a little odd, I've been told, but when you realize early in life that nobody anywhere knows what in the bluest bowels of Hell they are doing, you start making decisions that TRULY matter on a high, VERY HIGH, level of deep understanding. Not to sound like a preachy zealous god-freak, but preeeeetty fucking sure we live in and on the garden of eden as mentioned in that book written 2000ish years ago. You know the one, oh... it has that bearded guy in the middle east who was the Christian God's son, but was a Jewish king, a rabbi, a carpenter, and who led a gang of misfit trouble making hooligans that wanted to make life better for everyone and ended up dead and martyred for it and is currently the nearly-nude mascot for countless kitchens and bedrooms in thousands of American homes. Jesus, what is that guy's name.... anyways... that book. I'm not great with names, nor hiding sarcastic remarks or, OR blatant disregard for that which really does not matter.... uh, uh, uh, oh well. Back on topic now. Ready? On this "bestowed paradise" of Ours, there are a few shitty things that I just WILL NOT turn a blind eye to. I got this list, you see, that has the WORST possible inventions on it that the world could have done without. Number 1 is people... People are needy, greedy, dumb, panicky, self-centered, talking alien-ape hybrids that ruin and destroy almost every thing they put their grubby little peter-beaters on. We kill for thrill and pleasure alone or in packs and have this problem understanding what compassion and sharing equally are. I did two years of kindergarten, consecutively I will add, I know you are supposed to share and be nice or something like, oh I don't know, your behavior is checked, and you learn to play with others. And now number 2 (insert low-brow sophomoric butt-mud poop-shit-fart he he he coment here. I did, but think up your own.) my list. Borders. "We look different in skin color or you talk funny, uh oh, I no longer have trust other human being, stay away from my personal comfort zone. We'll be fair though and draw a line in the dirt in case you get the same vibe from me. Ok?" "Ok, good idea. Me and my family will kill you otherwise maybe, yeah, no, yeah. Stay away. Good job." Are you shitting literally me out of your dumb asses? Where is the logic and practicality in that. We let famine happen daily because, what? Noone knows what to do? Help your fucking human brothers and sisters, and the little ones if your heart has room, you apathy ridden bag of severed dicks. This is everyone's home right now, teach people who have no knowledge. There is no such thing as unteachable. Read between the lines here guys and dolls. Break time. Let me tell you that I'm not being a rude loud obnoxious Internet troll here, some of my rants and tangent ramblings have a twisted sense of humor and are meant to make you take a minute and chuckle at its finest absurdities. Oh my, but we can also be multitasking manimals and take some inventory of ourselves and the other manimals in our lives and have conversations with each other like we're meant to. Anyone over 27 will remember a time before everyone had a fucking idiot screen in their face at all times. (Heh, jokes to come.) What separated us from beasts is our ability to develope and utilize language. To any younger folks reading this: we used to sit at the same parties you all do now, and used our minds and speaking abilities to have a blast. I'm talking some wicked-awesome fucking ideas and fun times were had before the wedding of man and technology. Put the phone down, and step away from the screens. Please. Number thwee, sorry had, food in my...nevermind. money is next on my little list of things I see as wrong. If a person has a lot of money, they generally have a lot of stuff to make sure they're happy beyond worry. On the other end of the spectrum you have... anybody? Class! goddamn kids pay a-fucking-tention! You have a person with little to no money. I will spell this out for you and you know who: that person can't be happy beyond worry because, huh? Some people have been going ape shit on their own happy. Hmmm. Opposite of happy? Right, thanks Julien, smart guy you are, UNhappy. I hope I just made a Julien's mind blow apart. Lol. Now, monetary wealth is referred to as worth. If you gots like soooooo much worth like it's bananas and stuff, then your like totally worthwhile or worthy. Julien, let someone else try now, get your tongue out of my ass you brown-noser. If you ever want to be heart broken ask the poor kid at an elementary school how he feels after the first recess after Christmas break. I bet the word worthless crosses both your minds and you purse your lips and them real big empathy tears well up in your eyes. That kid is programed to think money and worth are the same thing, and will do what he or she can to make sure they ALWAYS HAVE money when they grow up otherwise everyone else will know they are worthless. Made myself cry a little bit there. Guns guns guns are 4 on this list which may make you laugh or at best pissed. In case you missed I'd be remissed if I didn't say you need to come up with your own rhymes and eloquence. Guns though are made for one thing; ending lives. Plain and simple, keep reading you left wingers and right wingers both. The eagle that is the U.S. of A needs you both to work together in order to soar. I have really upset myself with saying that, but it's out there now, ain't it? I feel everyone should have gun training and own a minimum of three guns open carry on a daily basis (we've already got them and they've seemed to dug their heels in so we might as well adapt with the fucking things.) A semi-auto rifle for hunting food, a shotgun for food/eminent defenses, and a pistol for protection of family and home. Common knowledge for everyone should be stated from an early age: IF YOU DRAW A FIREARM ON A FELLOW HUMAN BEING, BE SURE THAT YOU CAN MAKE THE CONCESSION THAT YOUR LIFE HOLDS MORE VALUE THAN THEIR'S THEIR POSSIBLE DEPENDENTS. DO NOT SHOOT TO MAIM. IF YOU DRAW, SHOOT, AND SHOOT TO KILL. REMEMBER THAT THEY ARE AWARE OF THIS TOO, AND IF YOU KILL THEM. YOU MUST LIVE WITH THE MEMORY OF YOU NEEDLESSLY TAKING A HUMAN LIFE BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT YOUR LIFE IS MORE IMPORTANT THEN THEIR'S. guns huh? 5. Prescription drugs. Pharmaceutical companies are not your friends. Especially in the world of psychological medication and pain management. I take aspirin on occasion, in my younger days I was always told I "needed something to help me." Help me do what? From the age of 11 until I was into my mid twenties I've been on damn near everything besides Haledol and Geodon. Thanks for being good dealers...I mean doctors and pharmacists. If you want to ask my diagnosis I will share, but let me say that I haven't taken nor would I recommend any person to give a child DRUGS. They are not safe because they are prescribed. Ritalin is molecularly identical to cocaine. No bullshit. They are training kids to be druggies later in life and parents and insurance companies pay for it. Act now and for $799.00 a month you won't k ow who you are, have bleeding of the teeth, lazy finger syndrome, backward stools, brain bleeding episodes, coma and death, but wait there's more. If that pill doesn't work simply tell us and we will give you some other stuff that will make sure your little boy grows tits like a woman and may have a compulsive gambling and or masturbatory addiction with possible suicidal ideation. At least he'll do better on his homework. Fast forward to early adulthood... "oh mummsy? Daddykins? Whatever do you mean I'm no longer on your insurance plans? I simply must have all these pills to be completely the best I can be." "Gee you can just acquisition the local the scumbags who clandestinely make and distribute the bad version of the same drug you've been on for your whole life, my golden child." And don't forget the ssri's. Google this shit kids: ssri's long-term effects on the mind and body. And finally number 6. Social networking. I've never had a Facebook, MySpace, twitter, or anything else. This site I found accidentally while bored and this is my first time posting anything anywhere. The negatively charged part of social media is shit like; omg I 8 a waffle cone with chokl8 chip cookie dough ice cream scoops. Kill yourself you fat cow. Oh boo hoo sad face.... So long cruelty of this place, I have been wearing my life inappropriately I've been informed. Good bye 14 years. Wrapping up at this point as I've said enough for now. I'll be that eccentric and hilariously unfiltered buddy of you get my styles here. Just need to vent sometimes. Help me with Tumblr if you're interested in that... I guess. Looking forward to seeing responses. It should be noted that I have the utmost respect for any religion but abhor the use of faith as a means to control and not gain a better relationship with divinity. I'm not a doctor or political ass hat. I'm a song writing free-spirited music loving real deal motherfucker. "And I didn't even graduate FROM fucking highschool." I.Q. is up a bit above above average. No, that is not a typo.