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Hi hello writer's block is kicking my butt so I'm turning to polls in hopes that it'll help.
So, I have about 6 requests in the WIP stage, some more finished than others. I want to finish at least one so I'll have three fics to post soon, but it's been a struggle ^_^'
And so:
More details on each WIP below the cut!
Option one: Requested by @/myreygn: Mattsun has wild taste in movies that usually leave the watcher in a state of Mindf*ckery. Kuroo doesn't get it and keeps asking questions, distracting him. Tickly shenanigens ensue.
Option Two: Requested by Anon: Kiawe accidentally spills strange incense on himself upon returning to his mountain spot. His Pokemon get a nice strong wiff of it and close in to investigate further, leading to the fire gym leader victim to some unexpected tickles!
Option Three: Requested by Anon: Baji is in a sudden ler mood and decides to take it out on Chifuyu; leading to what will forever be known as: "The Wreckening".
Option Four: Requested by Anon: Douma's bored without any immediate things to do and decides to play with Rui. A game of Hide and Seek is declared with a giggly twist!
Option Five: Requested by Anon: Asta decides to tickle Leopold, leaving our fire mage a giggly mess of laughter and Yuno left with the oddest feelings of jealousy.
Option Six: Requested by @/yae-mikko: Sae is a man who's good at remaining neutral. That is until Shidou enters the picture. Shenanigans ensue when the duel haired man wants to make his usually stoic boyfriend smile.
#squiggily rambles#polls with squiggily#WIP list#this of course isn't everything#but these are the one's in the immediate request list#At least- in terms of being halfway to a quarter way done#or having a strong idea around them#this should make me fully commit now and hopefully beat out this writer's block#sometimes I overwhelm myself and need structure to bring it all back akljrjejrakjer
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crowley
#fem presenting crowley you're everything to me#as you might know I've been recovering from an injury these past few weeks which is why I couldn't draw as much as usual#been doing a bit better so I wanted to give drawing a try again#while my arm isn't back to normal yet it feels a LOT better than 2 weeks ago#which is a good sign#still gonan take things easy of course#good omens#good omens fanart#crowley#fem crowley#why was one of teh suggestions for that tag fem crocodile#I'll have to look that up#david tennant#crowley fanart#aziracrow#aziracrow fanart#my art#fanart#my good omens art#good omens 2
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I've been thinking some binggeyuan Thoughts.
So, people usually write any binggeyuan as after the bingge vs bingmei extra which is super valid and narratively makes a lot of sense, but I've been thinking about dropping a bingge from earlier in the PIDW timeline into Shen Yuan's world. I'm talking like. Reverse transmigration straight from the abyss.
He finds Xin Mo, his seal gets fully broken, but instead of getting out of the abyss to get his revenge plans started he gets yeeted into modern day China, nothing but the clothes on his back and a system to guide him through it. He's bitter but he's also been fighting tooth and nail to survive for *checks watch* five years. He's like. 3/4 black lotus. Xin Mo hasn't quite had the time to sink its claws in.
I really do just have the mental image of Shen Yuan picking him up from out of an alley cause he looks like he got mugged. like a dirty kitten.
#I had a long drive recently so I was just thinking. so much.#mostly was coming up with quest titles#so far I have 'the nice shizun'/'the other shen'#and 'meet your maker'#the meet your maker quest would obv be him meeting sqh#okay but what's so interesting to me that i feel like isn't super explored is if there is another shen yuan for bingge to get for himself#this implies so many other like. timelines. what is the timeline hopping like in the scum villain universe.#like of course we have modern day pidw and scum villain#is it like an everything everywhere all at once type thing#i think it would be fun if it was#svsss#binggeyuan#bingyuan#luo binghe#shen yuan#fic#fic ideas#I'm just riffin here#westport posts
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What would you choose? :0c
(note: original image is from HERE (link) - but I edited it to add a wider variety of options.. also added $3 extra to the total, even though I know that makes it more uneven lol, I thought if you're adding 10 whole extra items, the money to spend should at least be increased slightly, if that makes sense..)
#I would get orange juice. black coffee. AND iced coffee ($3) because I love the variety of having multiple drinks#then sausage and scrambled eggs ($8). Then sauteed mushrooms ($3)....AND... hrm.. then spending the remaining $4 would be hard#I wish I could get waffles (as they are my favorite and are superior in every way compared to pancakes. donuts. etc.) but I'm not willing#to give up the other savory things just to get them. so... then maybe I could get a biscuit or english muffin? and just put jam or#honey butter or something on it so it can be my replacement 'sweet and bready' thing instead of something from the $5 row??#OR I could also just assume that having the orange juice plus iced coffee would provide enough of a 'sweet element' to the meal#(since I largely prefer savory foods. I only like a tiny bit of sweet added for variety) and thus forego any sort of#'bready' thing entirely and just get the bowl of beans/onion/tomato (I'd leave the avocado since I don't like the#texture of them really lol). THEN I'd have $1 left to get the milk or the black tea... increasing my total of random drinks..#which is always the goal of course.. as a chronic ''person who is sipping at 5 different drinks at their desk simultaneously always'' perso#OR... I could just do.. waffle. scrambled eggs. sausage. mushrooms. and black coffee and orange juice.. which is... okay variety#augh... so difficult.. As my Ideal Breakfast is like a buffet type thing or something where you have like 25 different things to choose fro#and can get a little tiny bit of everything. My eating style is very much like.. I'd rather pick at a small amount of a ton of#different things than just have a very large amount of only one or two things. Thats why I LOVE sample platter type stuff.#So it's like... augh... the ideal option would be a tiny portion of EVERYTHING actually lol...#Difficult to choose...#ANYWAY.. Also no idea why I added croissant instead of bagel. I only thought about that afterwards. I do actually like bagels.#I've only ever even had a croissant like 2 times in my entire life. Yet I've had many bagels. For some reason it stuck out in my mind more#when I was considering 'essential breakfast foods' somehow... how could I forget them... bagels my beloved...#Blame it on the hot weather... 'What in the blazes? The sun hath obliterated the concept of bagels from my miind!'#(< meant to be said in a silly overdramatic elderly wizard accent or something)#Also I don't think ''bowl of beans. onion. avocado. and tomatos.'' is necessarily a breakfast classic or something gbhjjh#but I was just trying to think of a versatile vegetable-ish side that could be full of common breakfast additions#so people could do stuff like ''oh I get the toast option and then the bowl of stuff and I put the avocado on the toast'' etc.#Like a mix and match. You could mix ingredients from different parts. You could put scrambled eggs and bacon and onion#on the bread or soemthing. etc. I just feel like something is always missing if a Full Breakfast Spread#doesnt have some sort of onions or beans or mushrooms or asparagus or spinach like... some sort of thing that isn't just eggs and meat and#bread.. you know? lol..#But then again.. I am the Sampling Plate Style Variety Lover and Tiny Portion Of Food Picker so maybe thats just a me thing.
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oh boy !! ! ! ! !!! ! thANK y0u all for the kind words on my last art posts. you all get it and i was/still am so happy about it
as promised, here's some close-ups of the comic for image quality's sake, and other screenshots i rescued from the community whiteboard (and something else)
first up another sketch of mystery gender-ambiguous being. (please send me more name ideas for them if you got one- i like to hear em! (reminder it's the side character that appeared for <10 seconds in AvM Ep. 30))
a few fav scenes
emotional support cwab
they weren't meant for this purpose exactly, but i do have countless "fluffy sticks" loose in my notes and homework sheets from the school years.
papery critter.
even when i wasn't confident in fur or feathers, they helped me practice posing and create some satisfying gradients/flowing poses. (im a sucker for good tail poses) (oh yay! i found a good pic...)
and finally, little sneak peak for you for reading so far ;3
i realized that whiteboardfox is pretty great for my working needs. simple and to the point and all. feels nice with the mouse and the tablet.
so i started hashing out a big project idea just to see if it holds up and
[
several hours later ...
]
oh
oh man
it's a little bigger than i expected
<next>
#--/ art#alan becker#animator vs animation#animation vs minecraft#Minecraft bed#ava the dark lord#ava the chosen one#me when the project that obviously wasn't going to be done in one night isn't done in one night: D: !?!?!?!?#kudos to whoever routed the Speedrun actual short because that one is so fun and clean and savvy#clever made up time-savers? includes orange's TNT shield-jump?? nonlethal dragon dispatch??? sweet#ithink you can see where i tried to head with this#turns out that turning up the complexity 98 notches higher makes things trickier to parse hmmmmmm?#in fact i might need some help with this one ;>v>' like a lot.#i had a bit of a story and route set up already i just... wanted to make sure everything was at least kinda there...................#we'll see#the pie joke. i was trying to categorize which foodstuffs chosen should be able to make on the fly. with their flame hands.#ex. cooking meats makes sense because flint and steel works for the same purpose (you can kill a burning animal to get cooked meats)#but baking bread or drying kelp seems way more involved or whatever -> needs a proper furnace environment#HOWEVER... i noticed that Steve can just summon pumpkin pies from his bare hands if he wants to without even a workbench. so. sure! lol.#this is scraping the surface of the minutiae i want to consider#(ALSO KUDOS to everyone who RUNS/works on all-advancements. of course. riding on your shoulders here)#final joke is that chosen didn't know how crazy this undertaking would be to learn#but dark is very literally programmable. so you could maybe just plug some TAS instructions into him and off he goes#or even more open-ended than that just give him the list of advancements + stipulations + the wiki and similar result#it'd get done but. i dont think he'd find that fun at all. prefers to write his own instructions if you see what i mean#i might be forgetting some context. it is rather late you see. please ask me questions about this! ;P#tco aa
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Very funny to me how Stansas present her character as being so interesting and complex because of her vulnerabilities, while simultaneously ignoring those same vulnerabilities in other characters. Dany is sold as a bridal slave and lacks agency throughout AGOT and after. Her dragons are either too young/small to utilize effectively or locked away for the majority of the story. They aren't some all-powerful trump card that protects her from harm. Arya is captured as a prisoner of war, forced to watch countless people tortured and murdered, and then essentially enslaved in Harrenhal with no way to fight back. She has an entire arc of feeling powerless, of being a "mouse", during ACOK. She doesn't have "kung-fu" or the ability to magically fight her way out of every situation, she's a young child lacking physical strength with only the most basic sword training.
Sansa isn't the only female character, she isn't the only young character, she isn't the only character who suffered, and no one is obligated to prioritize her. I'm so tired of Dany and Arya being mischaracterized and having their stories erased to prop Sansa up. "Sansa has kept her dignity" In other words, let's praise her for having a level of security that Dany and Arya don't have access to. She hasn't ever been forced to make a hard decision which of course means that she's morally superior to them. They can't even admit to themselves that her lack of action is due to her own passivity. If it doesn't fit their delusion, they erase it from the story and expect the rest of us to play along. Ask one of them what they like about her character without bringing up her being the ultimate victim, and I genuinely don't believe they'd be able to give you an answer. They belittle other characters more than they talk about her and these takes just scream insecurity/jealousy at the content and development other characters have in their POVs.
#arya stark#daenerys targaryen#anti arya bs#anti daenerys bs#asoiaf#anti sansa stans#these being comments on a video of a stansas /correcting/ a Dany stan...the jokes write themselves#/she's a break from the fantasy/ /people would be equally powerless in her situation/ like they aren't even pretending#that they don't use her as a boring every-man self-insert#okay she's subjectively /normal/...what is interesting or important about that in a fantasy novel? 😭#Arya and Dany are so interesting because they have that complexity...vulnerability but also the strength to navigate their situations#and it isn't because they're /special/ it's because that's who they are as characters#Reducing Dany to her dragons or Arya to her combat abilities (which barely exist) is such a disservice to their arcs#but of course acknowledging that they're well-developed and empathetic doesn't square with their fantasy that#Sansa is the most pure important character who deserves everything because she suffered 🙄#they really write entire fanfictions and then go /why don't people think like us?? 😔/#/Sansa kept her dignity/ yeah that's why she's currently part of a plot to poison a disabled child#because she was told she'd benefit from it oh yeah she's sooooooo morally superior to Dany and Arya 😑
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It feels so weird being a coffee disliker. Like I'm walking into a Timmies and go "Hey can I get like..a donut and a box of timbits? No, no coffee. Just the delectable treats and sweets" like I might as well hide in a cave forever
#sp-rambles#Coffee is naassstyyy though#I've tried it black I've tried mochas I've tried lattes I've tried everything#It just isn't for me#Same with energy drinks and booze#Damn am I even a college kid if I only like drinking ROOT BEER‼️‼️ and water?#(/silly of course)
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kaitos affection for and belief in maki and his assertions that she won't kill anyone being what fuels her breaking into the hangar in order to betray said belief drives me bonkers. especially because in her attempt to save kaito she ends up dooming him and leaves believing that she killed him, and that all his belief and trust in her was misplaced and wrong from the start
#its so fuuuucked#she's like ok for once ill kill someone and it will be Good and Okay this time. ill kill ouma to save kaito#and then it isn't. she tries to kill ouma and ends up hurting kaito and leaves thinking she killed him#The Situation Just Got Way Worse Huh#of course kaito wasn't the only reason maki tried killing ouma but he was definitely a big part of it and that's what makes it so ttragic#she was prepared to damn herself to kill ouma and save kaito and just ended up making everything a thousand times worse for everyone#maki harukawa#kaito momota#kokichi ouma
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been thinking about the fact Wukong had to teach himself how to speak human and i have to ask. i HAVE to ask. did Macaque already know how to speak human by the time he met Wukong.
like. they definitely didn't meet until after that point. all scenes we've had of past!Macaque and past!Wukong interacting are definitely after Wukong went to the mainland and got his first immortality + the 72 transformations.
and it's seems like Wukong strictly only spoke human from that point onwards.
so i have to ask. when Macaque and Wukong first met, was Macaque just blindsided by this other monkey demon speaking what, to him, sounded like absolute fucking nonsense????
cause listen. listen. something about the idea of Wukong going "hello!!!" while Macaque just lets out the most confused monkey-chirp is so funny to me. the idea of there having been at least one interaction with some random person/demon where Wukong had to translate for Macaque is driving me a little nuts-
#Monkie Kid#lego monkie kid#i mean of course it's more likely Macaque already knew human language#cause like. ability to hear everything in the world. he probably picks up on languages quick#but it's so funny to imagine just there being a brief period of time where he DIDN'T.#and him meeting Wukong being INCLUDED in that period of time#this isn't my main hc btw my main hc for him is that he grew up isolated#and learned to speak just by listening to the world#but this scenario is just what's appealing to my brain rn
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so Jacobi is in love with Kepler, yes, absolutely. thing is… no matter how messed up he is (and he is plenty messed up!) he's still a pretty normal guy, so he can deal with having an inconvenient crush on his boss. it happens, right? sure the occasional sex dream on a mission is a bit, uhm, awkward to say the least, but hey, it's not the end of the world.
that's why it's so much funnier to me if Kepler is exactly as gone for him as the other way around, because our precious Artist Formerly Known? he finds this absolutely terrifying. he does not get crushes on people, he is 100% in control of his emotions and lets nothing get in the way of his job! except there's this ballistics expert who somehow worms his way past all his walls and takes up residence inside, and suddenly there's someone who isn't as easily expendable as he should be.
but no matter what, Kepler is a professional above all, so of course he doesn't let this affect him. both of them are acutely aware that nothing could ever happen between them for so many reasons, but while Jacobi is content to let things run their course, Kepler goes all in for repression. fuzzy feelings, him? oh absolutely not! they just work really really well together, they're a great team, that's all!
and yet he is absolutely not the slightest bit Normal™️ about Jacobi when push comes to shove, see things like 50 punds of fireworks and "Sir, Jacobi has shown exemplary skill and dedication throughout -" less than 24 hours after a murder attempt.
bonus points if Cutter knows about it and makes sure that Kepler knows that he knows and yeah I wrote that fic.
#kepcobi#microwaving them in my mind#apparently this has become a conerstone of my kepcobi hcs#i am soooo normal about them (lie)#i just find it very funny to imagine kepler having inconvenient emotions#(although by the time of the hephaestus they're both so used to the situation that it isn't an issue...#... until everything goes horrible wrong of course)#warren kepler#daniel jacobi#wolf 359#thank you dirty work for making me see the potential of this ship
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I WISH TO KNOW MORE ABT THE PRETENDER AU. PLS TELL US ABOUT THE PRETENDER AU. IT LOOKS RLLY COOL AND INTERESTING AND IM ALL HERE FOR ELDRICH ABOMINATION OPTIMUS!
I got you buddy. I've been wanting to go nuts with an explanation FOREVER. Of course I won't be giving EVERYTHING away. Just some bits and bobs :)
Let's begin shall we?
Overview
The Pretenders were the result of an experiment. They are not naturally created beings, nor are they the spawn of Unicron. Born in a lab, Optimus was the first of his kind and instilled with the mission that all Pretenders now adhere to without fail. It is hardwired into their genetic code, so much so that they are physically unable to avoid their mission. But with that said, they are not inherently malicious.
Made for a specific purpose, they are beings that wish to fulfill their function. If left alone, they will kill a few to gain a foothold to increase their numbers and then proceed to reproduce without any need for bloodshed. However with the war raging and due to the specifics of their biology, increasing their numbers en masse is impossible. Their lack of safety in numbers combined with the threat to their mission warring around them has forced this normally rather passive species into action.
Meant to be a race of sleeper agents, the Pretenders are only so active and aggressive due to their mission being threatened. Without the fear of annihilation hanging over them, they would largely remain dormant. But as that is not the case, they currently operate under instincts designed to serve them in times of strife. Hence their shortage of empathy and overall lack of care for the lives around them. In short, they will only act if acted upon. Without an external threat to their mission, they act as any other member of the population, excluding their smaller oddities. Bumblebee is an excellent example of what a dormant Pretender may look like, and even he is more active than a dormant one normally would be.
As of the present time in the AU, the Pretenders have made the decision to flee Cybertron to hopefully find a world where they can increase their numbers safely, and in doing so, finally have the numbers to blend into the background and complete their mission without Megatron exterminating them all.
Pretender Development
Optimus was born in a lab, and as such his origins are not going to be discussed. However in normal cases, the development of a Pretender follows this order:
Pretenders capable of spawning, those known as Firstborn, will begin to produce larva no bigger than a digit once they are mature enough and have sufficient resources. These larva develop in a safe location, either in a nest, or in the case of Optimus's young aside from Bumblebee, directly underneath his outer plating where they can feed from his fuel lines directly.
All larva can be genetically altered to a degree when they are young through offerings of CNA from either the dead or energon samples from the living. They do not need to be inserted into a host, however those that are put into a host in their early larval stages develop differently than those who adjust without one.
Larva that grow without a host will lose their more insectoid appearance over the course of a few stellar cycles while under the dutiful care of the resident Firstborn. These larva are better at blending in than their counterparts due to the lack of information fed directly into their processors and slower development. They mimic normal sparklings in their growth, even developing a personality not tied to their CNA donor. The attention from their Sire also inspires a more docile nature in them, ensuring that they are less likely to act on their own. Their more odd Pretender aspects are not nearly as powerful since they were given ample time to grow and receive information without interference. Not having to play a role, have a personality forced on them, or otherwise being shoved into a frame that is not made for them ensures that the normal larva grow up to blend in better than their counterparts ever could.
These unaugmented Pretenders generally do not exhibit many signs of their nature, lacking brute strength even without their disguises. Their organs and structure match the average Cybertronian almost perfectly so long as their coding is dormant, and even then, it is hard to pick them out. The only true giveaway of what they are is their EM field and the slight difference in optical structure, and to notice the first trait requires increadible skill. Megatron has begun to take notice of this fact and has trained many of his agents to sniff out a Pretender without issue. The DJD are his greatest assets in this regard, that with them all being survivors of larva implants.
Their true forms are not nearly as monstrous as their counterparts and they can easily be mistaken for an Insecticon or a Predacon depending on the circumstances, only adding to their disguise. Often they do not allow their shells to fall away and they remain mostly docile save for the odd fits of hyper vigilance when a potential threat is around. They are not natural born leaders or specialized in any field, instead opting for greater adaptability and disguise over outright strength. Once fully mature and in the event that they are not threatened, these Pretenders largely forget what they are. Their coding falls dormant and they live without any serious differences when compared to natural Cybertronians.
The only time these Pretenders become active while allowed to live normally is when a Firstborn appears. In such a scenario, the Pretenders as a whole will begin to wake. Let it be known that there can only be one Firstborn at a time. However to make up for this weakness, every Pretender also possesses the ability to wake and become a Firstborn, which will in turn lead to conflict resulting in the deaths of all potential heirs until only one remains. For this reason, Optimus made the decision to prematurely select an heir to avoid this outcome.
Now with that said, larva inserted into hosts are a whole other issue. They are all specially chosen for their host beforehand. Their Sire gives them the CNA of the one they are to bond to, and then once they are ready, they are inserted into the host usually through the optics. The larva will then bury into the host's processors and proceed to slowly devour memory and knowledge over the course of a few stellar cycles all while it grows.
It will devour the host as much as it can, resulting in thinness. Then it will begin to expand, spreading out roots like a plant and leading its waste to be execrated as a green fluid from the host's vents. As its roots spread, it forces the host to deteriorate to make way for its developing form. By the time the larva has consumed the host in all but spark, it forces its host to walk toward energon deposits and then forces the host to purge any remaining internals the host may have so that the larva may continue to grow. Once the host is dead, the larva finishes its gestation by consuming energon and turning the external armor of its host into a disguise all while it finishes developing internally. During this state the larva is very susceptible to adaptation and depending on where it finishes it gestation, develops the unique traits that sets every Pretender apart. No two Pretenders are the same after all.
Optimus finished his development underground and he had to crush energon crystals underground, so his jaw is capable of splitting to allow that. Ratchet was given energon crystals whole during his development, so he adapted to have unusual numbers of mandibles in order to facilitate this.
Pretenders who had a host take on many of the traits of their host and are the only ones who always remain active. They do not forget what they are and they are unable to fully adapt. Their empathy is lessened and their focus is on logic over emotion. They are the few who push the mission onward alongside their Hierarch. It is instinctual for a Firstborn to bring a few to his or her side through inserting larva into hosts. It is the most efficient way to obtain information and social status. Perhaps not the most subtle, but indeed effective.
Extra
Generally a larva cannot be removed from a host upon insertion, however a few lucky mecha with unusual processors or frames are able to have the parasite removed before it is too late. They come out scarred and broken more often than not, but due to the partial changes the larva started in them, they are the most brutal of Pretender hunters. No Pretender can hide from them, not when they can find them almost as instinctually as a normal Pretender could.
#maccadam#transformers#digital art#transformers prime#alternate universe#pretender au#optimus prime#bumblebee#ratchet#sketches#forgive the poor doodles#I wanted to get my point across but my hand was hurting#Annnnnnnnnyway#hope this was enough info for now!#this isn't everything of course#I have left details to be explored later#but this is the overview
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Can I bitch for a second? Like, I just want to understand why, in the past few years, comments and reblogs on fics have gone the fuck down. Like why? What fucking changed?
In 2020 and 2021, I used to get comments all the time on almost all my fics and now it's like...I'm lucky to get any. I also know that I write for small fandoms so like, that's a contributing factor, but still. Even with my latest multichapter fic, there are no subscriptions. Like, everything has just gone down.
And while I realize that the pandemic happened in 2020-2021, the decline has been happening for a while, especially here on tumblr. Comments and reblogs and asks about fics are just...not really a thing anymore.
And people wonder why writers don't wanna continue. Yeah, yeah, that whole thing of write for yourself, we all write for ourselves, lets be honest. We do. But we also want to share our creations with you because that's the whole fucking point of art. You want to share it with others and have them appreciate the work and time you put into it. And we'd like to hear feedback! It's literally not a bad thing to want comments. And people need to stop making writers feel bad for saying they want comments. And reblogs. Likes and kudos are great but they don't do anything. They just tell us that you liked the fic/work. But they don't tell us what you thought, what moved you, what rewired your brain, what made your heart thump or flutter or clench. That's what comments tell us. That's why we want comments. We want to see our fics through your eyes.
Writers shouldn't have to beg for interactions, so please. Reblog and leave comments on fics. Please. It's really the least you could do
#sass rants#i'm sure someone's gonna get pissy with me for this but i don't fucking care#i shouldn't have to fucking beg people to reblog and comment on my stories#it's fucking 2024 people#how about we start acting like a fandom again and start reblogging and commenting on EVERYTHING#from gifsets to art to fanfiction#(of course let's have the comments be nice we don't do rude comments here)#but yeah#start commenting on fics that you like#because the writers you love WILL stop writing after a while if they don't feel appreciated#because we all need to remember that this isn't a full-time job for most of us#so show your favorite writers/gif makers/artists some appreciate and reblog/comment on their shit
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To reach The unreachable star
#gpose#gposers#ffxiv gpose#ffxiv#ffxiv screenshots#miqo'te#wol oc#ffxiv wol#lillian post#A while back I mentioned Lillian doing a pretty terrible thing in Ktisis that formed the nucleus of Meteion's anguish so we're hinting here#imagine being the driving force for the final days because your experience with Yotsuyu/Tsuyu and being a product of Gridania and#knowing your world and friends are being consumed while you're whiling away days in a relative paradise and how everything COULD be fixed#by the death of one child. Forget what the ascian said about being unable to change the past. You can never trust them.#This is the right course of action - for everyone. Go through Hermes to get to her right before her eyes too. That'll help certainly.#There is no courage or heroism in killing a hurt little girl.#She gets to spend the rest of endwalker fixing what she did. Confronting the Endsinger isn't about the fight. It can't be won with strength#only atoning and seeking forgiveness from Meteion will save everyone#and uh apologies for light nightmare fuel. I had something a bit more heroic in mind for the ninth photo that didn't work out.
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hot take moment cwilbur is literally just psychotic as all hell and i think people got way too comfortable villianizing the shit out of a man who was clearly portraying signs of severe mental illness. cwilbur was like im so fucking paranoid and scared and i think everyone is out to get me and hurt me and ive spiralled to the point i cant reach out to the people closest to me because im so afraid and lost in this spiral and im having constant panic attacks and hurting myself because i dong know what to do with myself and the only way out for me is to die. and everybody was like EVIL MAN WHO ENJOYS HURTING OTHERS AND IS ABUSIVE ON PURPOSE AND A VILLAIN AND SHOULD NEVER BE TRUSTED AGAIN. and then he came back and was like im still deeply troubled and afraid but im desperately trying to make up for the wrongs i did in the past and the people i hurt in my own way and communication is really hard for me but i hope people know that im truely sorry and i love them. im going to try my hardest to fix this in the only way i know how and then respectfully remove myself from the situation because i feel thats the kindest thing i can do to the people ive hurt. and people were like ABUSER ABUSER ABUSER EVIL MAN ABUSER. like girl
Yeah no based true real no questions asked
I'd hope I manage to portray Wilbur the way he deserves in my content, cause that man is heavily bpd coded and he just needs therapy and someone who genuinely loves him but also can handle his bullshit (which has exclusively and reliably been Quackity like, canonically)
But yeah no completely agreed. The man has issues and has definitely fucked up a lot but at the end of the day he really does need love and care and patience, but also boundaries (and therapy and meds, obviously)
#i deeeefinitely have no reason to have strong feelings about bpd bitches deserving love and care and stability ha ha nooo it's definitely-#-not like I've been dating one for well over 4 years now and even though we've been through so much shit together and I still can't-#-understand why people with bpd and conditions that have similar symptoms are so demonised. It just makes no sense to me.#my bf is the love of my life and i can't imagine /not/ supporting it through all the splitting and episodes and all of that cause they're-#-absolutely worth everything#i don't know not to be too gay on main but tbf it's too late now anyway i think--#is it unstable? sure. but it's also the most caring and loving person i've ever been close with and it always makes sure i'm ok#and it loves me so undeniably deeply no matter what purely for who i am#i've never had anyone care about me this much and this genuinely and this unconditionally - it'd always be what /they/ can get out of /me/#but my boyfriend just cares about me - the actual me - no matter if i'm acting how it imagined i'd act. what matters is if i'm /me/#listen bpd isn't sunshine and rainbows - we've been through some TERRIBLE shit (including s-cide attempts)#but when people claim it makes a relationship toxic/abusive it's so stupid cause ultimately with mutual love support and reassurance-#-and professional help you can have a genuinely happy and healthy life with someone with bpd#love isn't mean to be easy. it's meant to be safe and supportive and genuine but a relationship always takes effort and work on both sides#you should never sacrifice your well being of course!#but when love takes effort and extra care it doesn't inherently mean it's unhealthy or toxic or abusive. it just means you're people.#tldr if you love someone then don't care about some diagnosis - care about the actual perso.#ask#asks#ask fern#tntduo#dsmp#tnt duo#wilbur soot#quackity#quackbur#dream smp#tntblr#c!quackbur#c!tntduo
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I LOVE LOVE LOVE UR DARK ZACK AU!!! everything i’ve seen about it so far just has me so !!!! its so good. and would love to hear more about it :)
ooooooughhh dark!zack my darling sweetie angel love of my life
admittedly i don't have much of a plot going for them rn LOL just jingling them like keys in my brain
It's a Zack who decided he's sick of being a doormat. Being friendly and giving people the benefit of the doubt is what led to Shinra ripping away the most formative years of their lives.
For a long time, Zack tried to uphold his code of ethics, in spite of all the violence. At first he told himself it was just to protect Cloud... but over time, the more people he had to kill, the more it dawned on him that they will never be able to return to a normal life.
Once he stopped trying to make excuses, he found himself quite enjoying his new identity as a terrifying ex-SOLDIER fugitive. Things are much simpler now that he's free of moral obligations! People finally take him seriously, nobody bosses him around, he has control and it's SO addicting.
Now don't get him wrong, he's not a psycho killer, he just... happens to, um, murder people that get in his way.
#maybe that's what he's been working towards this whole time. on a subconscious level....#he wanted to reach 1st class so bad. telling himself it was because he wanted to be a hero#but in reality it's because he wanted to be in control. he wanted power.#not necessarily power over people; but power over his circumstances. the power to change things and write his own destiny.#of course once he does finally get promoted he has long since realized that SOLDIER is a trap.#every other 1st before him has sacrificed their entire lives. everything they love for nothing in return. no wonder he isn't thrilled.#cloud's a whole nother can of beans and i gotta cultivate my mental fungus about him still#asks#dark!zack au#<33
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Do you ever just lay awake at night, turning over in your head the stark difference in delivery between Hewson's Van saying--steadily, unshakably--"it's just something that's happening to you...happening to us" and Cypress' Taissa saying--imploringly, whiningly--"this was not just my dream, this was our dream"?
Do you ever just turn it over and over, how often Tai tried to scare Van away, and how it only made Van set her feet more firmly? How Taissa's first love was this person who saw a problem fall into Taissa's lap, a problem that was quite literally trapped inside Taissa's body, and decided unflinchingly: No, that's an us problem now? How she refused point-blank to walk away even with blood in her mouth, how she flatly informed Tai "I'm never gonna be scared of you", and promptly turned a moment of pain into a declaration of love? And how this would etch itself into Taissa for the rest of her life? How she'd take these things that worked with Van--with the person Van was, with the bond they shared--and try so hard to run through an identical script with Simone?
Except Simone is her own person. A completely different kind of person. A person who hasn't been offered any of the context, any of the realities going on inside Taissa. So: naturally she doesn't respond the way Van did at eighteen--and will go on to do all over again in her forties. Naturally, she hears our dream as the excuse it is, not as a plea for connection. Naturally, she is scared away when Taissa pushes, and shouts, and begs. Because there isn't blood in her mouth, not yet, but there will be. And they have a son to worry about. And she isn't eighteen and a special kind of immortal, a special kind of romanticized. She's a grown woman with responsibilities, with priorities, with an understanding that you can't fix someone just because you love them. And Tai can't just perform a revival of the play she and Van had memorized twenty-five years later with a whole new performer in the works, and expect it to shake out the same.
Of course it doesn't work. But look at Taissa trying it. Look at Taissa trying to reframe her first love through a new lens. Trying to recast it. Trying to play it through again. Van taught her love was sticking out the blood, shaking off the pain, making a you problem into an us problem. Does it ever just eat at you, how tragic it is, watching Taissa try to shape her marriage around a woman who isn't even wearing a ring?
#yellowjackets#yj meta#taivan#sorry i'm just fucking obsessed with cypress' delivery choice in that scene#it is the most immature we EVER hear tai sound#and it's not teenage taissa. it's adult wife-mother-almost senator tai flat out whining in desperation#it is SUCH a choice#and then after the S2 opener to hear van sound so adult offering a glimpse as to WHY tai would#so pleadingly seek turning a Tai Thing into an Us Thing#yeah. yeah of course she would. because van shared the worst of her#van shared it without allowing tai to dissaude her. van quite literally tethered herself to tai's problems#and tai learned: that is what love is#and tai thought: this is what love is#it's sharing. and giving up on sharing is surrendering the whole thing#and she's lying! is the thing! she's lying to simone and to herself#she's making excuses for doing what she wants to do even though she shouldn't be doing it#but the core of it is Team. the core of it is Us. the core of it is#'if you love me you will be on my side. for better or worse.'#because that's what van did. for better. and for so much worse.#which isn't true. isn't actually how love works. love is sometimes putting your foot down and saying 'nah dude that ain't it.'#love is communication. but that was never taivan's game and it isn't tai's now and so she's just trying old plays#and it is NOT a play that can ever work the same with simone in the leading role. nor should it.#but god everything about them makes me so sad because simone deserves better and taissa needs what she won't admit to#anyway. will be absolutely gnawing at the walls until S3.
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