#this one hangs around the parking lot at my favourite trail

[abirddogmoment]

One of my favourite year-round residents - the pileated woodpecker!

[ghostgirl101]

Oliver Quick Being Obsessed With You Would Include...

A/N: Watched this recently and got too many ideas because it's what I do 😀 if you've got any requests for the Saltburn crew then drop them in my inbox and I'll get round to them. Have fun reading- just know that there are obviously spoilers for the Saltburn movie here, so if you haven't watched it, zip to the cinema and come back 😎 or don't.

☓• It's hard to know where to start with Oliver... all I can say is that once you're in his sights, you're never getting out of them. Big never. Even if he has to wait years to get what he wants, he'll wait, and he will get it. And of course, the it we're talking about here is lucky you. So lucky you 🙃

☓• Say goodbye to your close friends and possibly your family if they're taking up too much of your time or happen to see through his harmless, quiet, normal act to something a lot darker and obsessive tainting his pure blue eyes every time they latch onto you. No one's managed to get in his way yet, and it stays that way.

☓• The first unknowing encounter with Oliver must have been somewhere around Oxford Uni, where you all go to and study. Maybe in the library, outside talking to friends - doing practically anything and making it look amazing and beautiful and something to be wanted above anything. He watches you a lot, a lot a lot, before you bump into each other, because the meeting has to be perfectly natural and it's his only chance to start things off on the right foot.

☓• Coincidences happen a lot and no one can be called out on them, because nothing seems to be wrong yet. You'll end up spending the majority of your time with him, maybe even without realising, whilst he finds out ways to know more about you and get closer to you. Oliver's not so good when it comes to talking about himself, telling you with one of his awkward but earnest half-smiles that he's not half as interesting, and so the conversation ends up steering back to you. From family life to friends, growing up, hobbies, favourite colour, tell him anything and everything. Because he won't forget a single thing.

☓• He's easy with where you want to go to hang out too, so long as he's there. You could just be talking with your friends in the nearby pub or at a party where the invite was extended to him as he's with you, or studying together at the library. Ignore the weird looks from Michael.

☓• But what Oliver prefers above all that is just being together and alone, maybe in your dorm room, or just out somewhere at a park or at the bridge, sitting and talking, opening yourself up more and more to him. This boy is an incredible listener. If your voice trails off when you become self-conscious of how much you're rambling, all you'll get in response is Oliver blinking out of his trance and giving you a calm smile and a shrug. "No, it's fine, I don't mind. Carry on."

☓• Number one supporter, naturally. Oliver tries to be the best friend and more, so hard, with you. He'll be anything you want and need him to be without you even having to mention it. Whatever club or team you're on, he'll give you a little wave and small grin from the sidelines... take a few pictures when you're not looking. For safekeeping.

☓• It can get more than a little frustrating for him when you're distracted by your other 'friends' at Oxford, even if it's something as small as looking over essay answers and revision notes with Farleigh. There's always a back-and-forth thing happening between those two, and so when Farleigh starts becoming friendly with you and outrightly mocking with Oliver, to you, all that will happen is Oliver giving him an unblinking, blank look that looks a touch too cold and repressive, before he ignores him. And that's all you'll ever know about it.

☓• If you happen to stick up for Oliver when someone brings up how different and odd he is, a bit awkward to talk to and a cheapskate or whatever, he'll never get over it. You stuck up for him. That just proves that he was right about you, from the second his dark gaze latched onto your unknowing self just a few weeks ago. He was right. You're... perfect.

☓• There's so much good about Oliver, that if you ever hear anything different, it's hard to actually believe it. It's just Farleigh causing trouble, or gossip that has gotten out of hand again, not actual hints of something deeper bubbling beneath the surface. Oliver would never watch you outside your dorm room at night, what are they on about? And when Oliver hears of them too, or gets the worries out of you when he instantly notices that something's up, he'll act as effortlessly, convincingly confused as you are. If there's the slightest bit of proof in the accusation, he'll cover it up with a flawless explanation that swerves away from him and onto someone else within a second, while still seeming without grudges towards anyone. "You shouldn't listen to them, they're just trying to get in your head. Or maybe they want you for themself or something. I mean, I can understand that. Completely."

☓• You will eventually notice just how clingy Oliver can get when he seems to be everywhere around you, and you might be looking for a moment to yourself. If you gently bring it up, he'll reluctantly go on the promise that you'll text him back, which gives him time to change tactics. He will go as far as saying someone in his family died, or as small as admitting that the isolation from everyone who is so different to him in this place makes him feel a bit broken up. Maybe he should leave? And you, being you, encourage him to stay on and hang out with you and your friends, and boom, his back in.

☓• It's so easy for Oliver to subtly manipulate his surroundings and its people. Everyone, except for you. With you, the manipulation comes in seemingly natural events, nothing too forward. Because what he likes the most is you coming to him with whatever, problems, thoughts, feelings. Then he's done his job, and everything else that will build up a beautiful, beautiful relationship, will slip into place for him.

☓• Again, everything has to be perfect, and it will be. Maybe your first kiss with him is on your birthday, or out somewhere nice as a treat with some other rich friends. Or it's just you two having a movie marathon or pulling an all-nighter. Every time, he'll inch closer with little sweet, honest lines spoken in a calm, low tone, his eyes locked with yours and scarcely blinking. "Do you know how loveable you are?" "I think that your smile is something to live for." "I never want to be without you."

☓• Oliver will edge closer and closer, holding hands, brushing your hair back from your face when you're reading with a tender touch, meeting your eye and not letting go until you smile in bashful amusement and look away. He'll meet you outside all your classes and bring you your favourite drinks and study notes that he got from his work, so that you never fail an exam. Oliver's a lifesaver, one of your closest friends, someone who's always there for you to be whatever you need whenever you need. A great comforter, supporter, study buddy, moral support, you name it. He created and adapted himself to be boyfriend material especially for you, and so it happens, and he's won, like he knew he did the second he saw you. Now he can be as clingy and overly affectionate and outwardly obsessive as he wants, all day, all night, tirelessly. And don't think he won't.

☓• Straight-up, he's a starer. And I mean starer when you think you're alone in your room, starer when you were with a fling or someone you might have been interested in before... before Oliver worked his magic behind the scenes. Now it's a lot easier to, when you're in a relationship, because he can pass off his staring as something romantic, which it kind of is, without the dangerous obsessiveness lacing it. You'll look up from your phone or wake up in the night to see Oliver's eyes on you in wonder and something else you can't quite place, before you smile and ask him what it is. It's always the same answer with the same soft, adoring smirk that manages to make your cheeks flush with colour and smile back. It's not 'nothing.' It's always, just, "You."

☓• Once he's got things how he wanted them, if anything tries to ruin it, they will have literal hell to pay. He did not come this far for nothing. It's an agonising process of waiting and being patient so he wouldn't scare you off, getting gradually and naturally closer to this point. So whether it's Farleigh telling his tales or playing off his tricks, or someone else pointing out the unobvious obvious, good luck to them, because one of his special coincidences will fall right onto their heads.

☓• And if, by a twisted turn of events, you walk into one of Oliver's schemes, and see flecks of his true, darker self and violent, delusional side unearthed from his usually calm and easy way, he'll beg you with racking tears and heaving breaths and literal vomit to stay. He'll do anything, just as he has been doing anything, for you. What he's saying and doing is suddenly terrifying, and whether or not you want to accept him as freely is your choice, but if not, Oliver won't go away. He'll wait some more if you manage to escape his grasp this time. See you in a few years as an adult, maybe. When you're vulnerable in different ways and water's gone under the bridge. He'll slip right back into your life like he was always meant to be there, with his earnest, devoting praise and comfort and support, and that's Oliver Quick's life come back together yet again, with you lost at its centre. Trapped.

[smellydano]

Hiii! I'm back again with one request! This time with our favorite greasy boy Brian Wilcox from Fast Food Nation!

So I was thinking about Brian gets off of work sooner than the other days and lovely reader (afab and female) goes to pick him up to go for a drink or something but Brian as the Pervy boy he is just wants to have sex with reader and relieve all of his stress, so they ended doing in the car on a lonely alley or street.

(Also I would love so much if Brian is into spanking and you know like super pervy hehe, and one last thing! Reader can be hyper feminine (yes, again, sorry:c) and shy? Thank you!💟💟💟) -🧸

late night drive || brian wilcox

sorry this literally took forever ,, i loved this request so i tried to tweak and edit it as much as i could LOL

warnings: unprotected sex, mdni, car sex, spanking, lmk if i should add more !!

synopsis: after picking up brian for a drive after work, he has something in mind.

word count: 1231

you pull your car into the parking lot of mickey’s, watching as him and another coworker lock up for the night. brian has gotten used to working the shitty closing shifts from being in college, but nights like these really made him wish he’d quit this stupid job. it’s been non-stop asshole after asshole, according to brian as he hopped into the passenger seat of your car. He’d already had his mickey’s uniform shoved into his backpack, wearing his usual black tee, jeans and zip-up hoodie, one you’ve stolen on many occasions.

“i’m just so done, with all of that.” he grumbled as he gestured his middle finger towards the building as you drove by. you chuckled as you kept driving down the crowded street. He tossed his backpack into the backseat of your car. You quietly drove away from town as brian’s hand trailed up your thigh, carefully touching your pink plaid skirt. You knew it drove him crazy, especially when you paired it with your tight-fitting white crop top, perfectly displaying your tits.

“did you want to grab a drink or something? my treat.” you questioned, looking over at him. brian grew a smirk, gripping your thigh once more.

“i was thinking, maybe we do something else?” you knew what he wanted, but you weren’t going to let him have it so easy.

“what else did you have in mind, bry?” his tense shoulder shift down as he heard the nickname you always called him, he’s a sucker for it and any pet name you give him. it makes him love you even more.

“drive to our usual spot.” he said without another word, and you followed his orders. you and brian had a specific spot down by a nearby lake you’d usually park at, in the warmer months you go swimming and hang out under a tree, and in the colder months you gather in the backseat of whoever’s car you take.

as soon as you get to lake, you put the car in park and turn over to him. he immediately pulls you in for a heated kiss. you moaned out of shock, placing your hand on his knee. “turn off the car and get in the back.” he breathed out, you nodded and followed his orders, quickly climbing into the backseat. he chuckled as he got out of the car and opened the back door. he tossed his bag up to the front seat, to make more room.

“you come pick me up and tease me like this? in the skirt you know i love, and your tits, holy fuck.” he was overwhelmed with lust, as well as love, but in this moment, it’s all lust. he grabbed your boobs roughly, lowering your top and twisting your taut nipples around. you whined into his ear, muffling them to stay quiet. “i want to hear you, babe. every noise you make.”

“perv.” you snickered, running your hands around his waist. you pulled yourself closer towards him, climbing into his lap. as if it was a normal position, his hands swiftly wrap around your waist. you ran your fingers through his dark hair, tugging slightly as his face went to your neck. he nipped at your skin, he loves to leave bites all across your body, but his favourite was your neck. so soft, so pretty with the marks against it.

“please bry, i need you.” you whined again, without missing a beat, he lifted your skirt up and slid your panties to the side. you rubbed yourself onto his groin, the feeling of his hard cock pressed against the rough denim of his jeans was breathtaking. you continued rutting your hips against him, moaning out into his shoulder. he grabbed your hips roughly and helped you move.

brian couldn’t take the teasing anymore, he needed to be inside you. he lifted his hips as you lifted your body as well, making it easier to slip his pants down to his knees. you watched as he pumped himself a few times before placing his hand up to your mouth. “spit.” he demanded. you looked into his eyes and spit in his hand.

“god, fuck you’re so hot.” he said as he watched the spit trail from your lips, he gripped his cock and pumped it, letting you back onto his lap. with his other hand, he gently toyed with your clit. “you’re so wet, i wanna fuck you right now.” he groaned as he made sure your thong was pushed to the side. he guided his tip against your hole, you sank onto him like it was second nature. he gave you time to adjust to his size, then you slowly started bouncing. brian was a grunting, moaning mess underneath you. he gripped your hips as his met yours, slamming into you at a quick pace. he gathers your skirt up in his hand, then lays a couple harsh spanks on your ass.

you squealed, wrapping your arms around his neck, holding on for dear life. his thrusts bounced the car, thankfully, no one ever comes to this lake. especially in the colder months.

you muffled as many moans and cries as you could into his neck, you didn’t like being super loud during sex, and brian knows exactly how to make you feel good. so, needless to say, you need to keep it toned down. plus, you were always shy when it came to sex. you were pulled from your thoughts when brian pulled on your hair, lifting your head.

“i want to hear you.” he demanded. he started leaving bites and hickies across your neck and collarbones, you couldn’t help but let out a loud moan. your cheeks turned red with embarrassment, but your moans made him go faster. he says another harsh slap on your ass before gripping it roughly. “fuck, you have a nice ass.”

he kept spanking you, making you cry out for longer. you felt the burning in your stomach start to get closer, grabbing brian’s shoulders so hard, little crescents from your nails left imprints. “bry, please i-i think i’m gonna cum.”

“do it, babe. cum on my cock.”

his words immediately triggered your orgasm, your cunt squeezing his cock as you rode out your high. his thrusts kept going until they became sloppier, cumming inside you. you felt the warm ropes cost your insides, making you shudder.

you pulled yourself off his cock, the feeling of his cum spilling out of your cunt making your eyes roll back. you say yourself on his lap as he grabbed the clean hand towel you keep in the car for this moment. he cleaned both of you up, then you flipped over to the other seat in the back. you caught your breath before scooting over to brian, cuddling into him instantly.

he smiled and wrapped an arm around you, placing a kiss on your head. “we should probably head back to your place. i want to go to bed.” he whispered against your ear, laying his head on your shoulder. you nodded, both of you started getting dressed and cleaning up the backseat. you both get into the front of the car and made your way to your place, brian yawning in the passenger seat. you soon made it to your place, the night ended in a bunch of cuddles and kisses.

——

this came out different than i meant it to,, but i don’t hate it ,, i hope u liked it anon :3

ty for reading :3 requests always open ,, likes/reblogs and comments are always appreciated!! :D

[bergens-adventure-tours]

Week 5: March 13th – 19th, 2023 // I Want vs I Should

A common theme of discussions this week was “doing things because you want to and not because you should.”

--

My first day of this week is probably in my top 5 favourite days of this trip so far.  I woke up to a beautiful morning on Friendlies Beach, the white sand dusted by a pink hue of the rising sun, eating breakfast and practicing yoga as I listened to the rolling waves of the ocean.  I finished the book “The Happiest Man on Earth” by Eddie Jaku, which is equally sad and inspiring. I did a solo hike up Mount Amos and filled up my water supply.  It was my decision to go back to Friendlies beach for the night which I think just wrapped up this day SO beautifully!  My plans were to make a 3-hour drive to Port Arthurs, but I just wasn’t sure where I’d be sleeping that night, didn’t want to risk being stuck on the side of the road somewhere, Friendlies beach was only 20min out of the way – and honestly, I just didn’t want to nor did I feel like driving a long way that night.  So I didn’t.  

I ended up back at the same spot I nabbed the night before, and turns out a NSW local bike-packing around Australia was setting up a tent, and a couple from the UK had been promised the site by the park manager earlier that day too.  So naturally, we all ended up sharing the spot and had such a wonderful night chatting, watching the stars, sharing stories and tea together.  We then spent the morning watching the sun rise together, and the boys went for a morning swim.  We were all 23/24 years old and immediately felt so comfortable with one another.  Making plans to meet up once our paths crossed again on the mainland.

--

Tuesday I initially planned to get to Fortescue Bay early so I could hike to Cape Hauy that afternoon, but along my drive I felt no need to rush anything, or get anywhere by any specific time.  So I made many beach stops, wrote last weeks blog post, grabbed snacks and gas, and reminded myself that this trip is for me and no one else.  The best part about solo travelling is that you don’t have to coordinate with others or make compromises on when and where you want to be.  Your plans are allowed to flow as the day moves and change as you feel is needed.  I didn’t have the energy to hike that day. So I didn’t.

I spent the evening making dinner, watching the possums and wallabies’, reading for hours, eating on the beach, and hanging out in my tent.  Which was also a bit of a reflection moment – the camp no longer had car camping spots available and technically wouldn’t allow me to sleep in the van in the parking lot, so I took this as an opportunity to remind myself that it’s important to have moments of discomfort.  

With all the hiking + staying in the van, I’ve honestly become somewhat worried that I’ll become attached to the comfort and not got out and experience some backpacking during my travels.  Backpacking had become such a favourite way for me to explore back home -- being so fortunate enough to live in such a beautiful province with endless mountain-scapes to explore -- that I wanted to explore Australia in the same way.  Sleeping in the tent was a nice little reminder to how much I love it, even though it’s nowhere near as comfortable as my van mattress…

--

The next morning, I had amazing weather and I made sure to get up nice and early to hike Cape Hauy and avoid most of the crowds.  I was incredibly successful – there was no one on the trail on the way up AND I got to read at the peak for at least an hour uninterrupted.  If there’s any one way to read a book (second to laying on a beach), it’s on a mountain peak with panoramic views and the warm sun shining down on you… Made a friend with a solo traveller from Maine and we spent the afternoon hiking out together, going for a swim, laying on the beach, and sharing our thoughts and lessons on doing things/being on your own, and coming back to the idea that there is nothing you “should” be doing, but rather learning how to focus on what you “want” to be doing.

I set up camp next to the water on a quiet street, where I finished another book, and ate toast + chocolate for dinner.  I didn’t feel like cooking. So I didn’t.

--

Thursday morning, I was feeling quite slow – it was a cloudy turned rainy day, I felt tired from so much socializing and hiking + climbing the past week, and honestly, my brain+body just wanted a day to reset.  I drove out to Cape Raoul with the intentions of completing the 15km hike, but every time I got out of the car to begin the trail, I’d realized I’d forgotten the parks pass, or couldn’t remember if I locked the car, or had to use the bathroom, or had to unload all the rain gear.  I think I walked back 4 times after getting 5minutes away, and by the 4th time, the sky opened up and the rain POURED down.  I crawled into the van feeling a bit defeated, and decided to accept that hiking the trail just wasn’t something I wanted to do that day anymore. So I didn’t.

Instead, I played guitar in the parking lot for an hour, laid and stared at nothing while contemplating these thoughts, and then made the drive back to Hobart, where I napped outside of Fitzy Castle (Alissa, Annie + Sam’s House name) for a few hours, before joining the house for a delicious lasagna dinner shared with another house of friends visiting for the evening.  It wasn’t how I expected the day to go, but it turned out to be exactly what I needed it to be.

--

Friday the slow feeling continued – I made many attempts to work on things I felt I should be doing, like editing photos, fixing last week’s blog post, answering messages, starting this week’s post, measuring the van, buying materials, etc.  But I just couldn’t.  So, again, I didn’t. I sat with the slow feelings, and moved at a pace my mind and body needed and could manage.  I had plans to go for a climb and a yoga class that evening that I really wanted to go to, and I knew that if I really wanted to go, I was going to need to listen to what I needed first.  I ended up having a lovely time with Annie and Alissa’s other fellow Canadian friend, Leah – worked through some challenging routes, didn’t feel as strong or in-tuned with myself this session, but that was okay.  I wanted to be there, and I got there, and to me that was all that mattered.  I showed up for myself, and did what I was able to do.

--

Saturday and Sunday were incredibly fun and productive days!  I tackled a huge part of my to-do list on the Saturday, getting all the building materials I needed for my van renos happening the next day, took myself out for lunch to Veg Bar (which has easily become my new favourite [Vegan] restaurant of all time), had a couple calls with some friends I hadn’t spoken with in a long while, cut Sam’s hair, and made dinner w/Sam+Annie.  Sunday I initially only had plans to start van renos in the afternoon, but ended up going for a 2 hour climb with Sam L+Sam M+Annie and wandering the Mayfair Market, having lunch in the park and enjoying the wonderful food and sun!  

The afternoon was also so successful. I brought SUPER basic plans to Rhys (stranger now friend who is helping me with my van reno’s) for the van, just to make organization a bit easier and to avoid taking too much of his time.  But he was such a gem and got super stoked about tackling an even bigger (still manageable) and more exciting reno.  Got to learn how to use a table saw, drew up plans and measurements, and to say I’m stoked with the upcoming “rebuild” is an understatement.  It’s going to make this van function so much more smoothly and I can’t wait to show the end results in a couple weeks!

--

With all the things that I didn’t end up doing, I internally battled with myself for sometimes HOURS over what I “should” be doing. I “should” be trying to cover as much ground as I can with the limited time I have in this place; I “should” be getting out and accomplishing something physical like a hike; I “should” be making a proper dinner; I “should” be getting out of the van to explore because I made the trip there; so many “I shoulds” when really I should’ve just been focusing on the “wants,” because it’s the wants that you accomplish or act on that actually end up being the more memorable experiences.  And in reality, who are the “shoulds” even for?  When you put yourself into such a foreign or new experience, like travelling a new country on your own, you’re naturally going to be in a lot of uncomfortable positions, and the idea is to make is as enjoyable and memorable as you possibly can.  If you get too caught up in the “shoulds,” you can easily forget the reasons why you started these journeys in the first place.

Now it’s different if you’re for example working towards running a marathon.  If you really WANT to accomplish this goal, then you absolutely SHOULD be getting out for regular runs in order to set you up for success.  But you need that “want,” that drive, that reason why you started in the first place to help move you through these shoulds that are actually necessary.

In summary, live your life for you.  Live your life doing the things you WANT to do, because they make you feel good, empowered, whole, inspired, and excited about life.   Because really, who do the “shoulds” without the connected desire, benefit in the end?

--

I also want to acknowledge how important it is to honour how you’re feeling in these moments of identifying what you want vs what you should.  Knowing that you don’t always have to be showing up 100% to everything.  You’re allowed to show up at 55% capacity and take your time through things that may normally be easy for you.  The important part is that you listened to what you needed, and you showed up in whatever capacity you could.

Stay passionate and curious, Hunter♡

03/19/2023

[literarygoon]

So,

Depending on what type of person you are, this is either a story about a miracle or a series of crazy coincidences.

Six months ago, while I was convalescing in the Kamloops psych ward, I became convinced that I could sense my sister Kathryn's presence. I was supposedly a couple of days from discharge, but still in the thick of overwhelming psychotic delusions that made me feel like I was inhabiting some magical, dancing uber-reality in which everything around me — from the clothes people in the lobby were wearing, to which vehicles were parked outside — was drenched with significant symbolism.

Along with a small posse of fellow patients, I headed out for a smoke break one morning with the sneaking suspicion that there was something different about that particular day. As we made our way to our favourite picnic table across the parking lot, I noted that I was surrounded by Kathryn's favourite colour blue — a blue taxi idled at the curb, a man in a blue jacket brushed past us while we passed through the sliding glass doors, and a crowd of nurses in blue scrubs were taking a lunch break in the sun. I felt like somehow Kathryn was communicating with me from beyond, manifesting magically in my banal surroundings. 

While I smoked my first cigarette I contemplated what she was trying to tell me, and pretty quickly I got the sense that she was urging me to escape. This was further confirmed when I took off to do a lap around the grounds and found three unsmoked cigarettes on the pavement, arranged like an arrow pointing towards freedom. It was like someone had carefully arranged them there, like they knew my daily route and had purposefully put them in my path.

It's hard to describe the intensity of emotion I felt in that moment, like I'd finally broken free of reality and successfully solved the puzzle of Kathryn's absence. I felt like I was embarking on a pilgrimage to commune with her soul, which was coupled with the heady thrill of defying authority. I reached the edge of the property and started making my way up a winding forest trail, carefully avoiding drawing attention to myself as I passed fellow hikers en route to the nearby waterfall. Eventually I bushwhacked my way over to a burbling stream, taking off my shoes and dipping my feet in the water. In the distance I could hear highway traffic, and I wondered if a helicopter passing overhead was looking for me. The thought gave me a sick thrill.

After about ten minutes of solitude I found my way back to the trail, openly sweating and shirtless in the July heat. I nodded politely to a family passing by with a stroller that matched ours, which I took as a subtle hint from Kathryn to keep my family's future in mind. I was convinced that all the people I encountered had been deployed by whoever was directing the Truman Show-style documentary I'd invented in my head, and I figured this would make an especially compelling episode. Exhausted from the steep incline, I stopped to briefly catch my breath and reached out to a low-hanging tree branch to steady myself.

That's when I discovered this pendant.

Neatly tied to the branch with a blue strap, there was an icy heart dangling inches from my hand. Of course it was blue. Of all the coincidences and signs I'd encountered so far, this one was the most convincing. What other possible reason could there be for this moment but divine intervention? This wasn't just Kathryn speaking to me, it was God himself showing that my sister's love was lingering long after her death. I quickly untied it, wrapped it around my neck, and wore it like a necklace. Tears streamed down my cheeks, and I truly felt for the first time since I'd seen her dead body the previous Christmas, that she was there with me. I whispered a prayer of thanks, and continued my hike to the waterfall.

The rest of the day was eventful, as I was ultimately M.I.A. for somewhere around six hours. After a while I transferred the pendant from my neck and wrapped it around my right wrist like a bracelet. I swam in the Thompson River, visited the site of the Kamloops residential school where over 200 bodies were found, and marched clear across town until I found a Super 8 hotel (a sign reminding me of the eight Johnson siblings) and called my parents so they could inform Kristina where I was. While I waited, I walked laps around the hotel in my bare feet and fantasized about getting access to one of the rooms so I could hide from all the drama and heartache of my latest grief-fuelled mental breakdown. Kathryn had delivered me to safety.

Ultimately, a RCMP officer showed up only a couple minutes after Kristina, who I begged to be my hideaway accomplice. I had just finished paying for a room with my credit card when I saw the car pull up in the lobby mirror. I tried giving him a fake name at first, but he knew exactly who I was and handcuffed me right there at the front desk, leading me out to the waiting car right in front of Kristina and the kids. This wasn't part of my plan, but I remained convinced that I was being maneuvered by forces more powerful than me that I couldn't understand. I was amiable and talkative, instantly apologetic about my clumsy deception and eager to show him that I had a good relationship with law enforcement. 

After a few minutes I asked him his name.

"I'm Geoff," he said."

With a J, or a G? Like Gee-off?"

"I'm a Gee-off."

I blinked for a few moments, processing this information. Geoffrey is my middle name, so there was some sort of connection there. But even more significantly, it's the name of Kathryn's husband. Had she sent this guy to wrangle me? To get me under control? She'd sent the pendant to make sure I knew she loved me, and the cop to ensure I didn't take things too far. As we made the twenty minute drive back to the hospital, I stared out the window amazed at how far I'd come. I could feel the pendant pinned in place by the handcuffs. My feet were sore and I was deadly thirsty, reflecting that this had probably been the longest walk of my life.

The officer led me back into the hospital, still cuffed and now masked up for COVID. I felt like Hannibal Lecter on display for all the gawking people in the waiting room. When we reached the psych ward on the sixth floor, my posse jumped up from their places around the TV to interrogate me about my disappearance. They were all eager to hear about my adventures, and gathered around while the RCMP officer set me free.

"Where'd you go?" they asked.

"I went to find my sister."

The Literary Goon

[scribbuluswrites]

The Interest

Friday! Finally. That means a bit more of Happy :) 

As always, thanks so much for reading and continuing along with me on this journey far from canon. 

Happy pushed his shoulders back, rolling his neck from side to side. He’d been at the warehouse overnight to make sure that nothing went wrong. Guard duty wasn’t his favourite, but he knew it was a crucial job, so he did it to the best of his ability. 

He was glad to see Chibs arriving to relieve him. The club still needed him to stay close, but he could at least get a couple of hours sleep and return Kat’s phone call. Happy wouldn’t make personal calls while he was on watch. 

“All quiet, brother?” Chibs asked, patting Happy on the shoulder. 

“Not a peep,” he confirmed, nodding. “Gonna head back to T-M and get some shut eye.” Chibs gave him a look that made Happy pause. “Something up?” 

Chibs tilted his head in a wishy-washy gesture. “I don’ know. Unser asked if you’d check in when you got back,” he explained. 

Happy didn’t let it show outwardly, but he was distinctly worried about whatever the former sheriff needed him for. It wasn’t common for Unser to seek Happy out. He hadn’t been an officer in the club during their close ties to the Charming PD. 

“Probably looking for a hookup on meds like you had for your mom,” Chibs suggested, seeing the wary expression in Happy’s eyes. 

Happy shrugged. “Yeah, probably,” he agreed. He wasn’t very convinced, but it would be a more favourable reason than the ones on his mind.

He rode back to the clubhouse at a calm pace, forcing himself to let the ride clear his head. There was too much going on in his mind, and he didn’t want the club to notice any tension. 

To his surprise, Unser came out to meet him as he parked his bike. Living on the lot kept him close at hand, but Unser was normally the type to wait to be asked for information.

“Got a call from Oakland PD this morning,” Wayne started, eschewing any greeting. Happy made it clear that he was listening, but he turned away from the older man, hanging his helmet on the handlebars and busying himself with fixing his bedroll. “It matches the home invasions we’ve had here.” 

Happy’s hands went rigid. It took a few moments before he could get his fingers to start working again. 

“I thought it was weird for them to hit someone outside the club, but then I discovered it’s your mom’s old house,” Unser continued, leaning to look around Happy’s shoulder. “I’m guessin’ you still live there?” 

“How bad is it?” Happy asked, turning to face Wayne. His jaw was clenched so tightly that he thought he might crack a tooth as he waited for the ex-cop to talk. 

“It ain’t good.” Wayne paused again, taking a half-step back at the steely look on Happy’s face. He almost expected the outlaw to grab him by the neck and shake him. “The house is pretty demolished. They found a girl there, too. She was pretty beat up so they took her to the hospital.” 

“What hospital?” Happy demanded, already dialling Kat’s number. “What fucking hospital?” he repeated, his voice cold with fury as he advanced on the old man. Wayne shrunk back, scared of the murderous look in the biker’s eyes.

“I-I don’t know. He didn’t say, and I…” Unser stammered, trailing off when he noticed Happy wasn’t listening any more. 

Happy felt the most intense wave of relief he’d ever experienced as Katarina answered her phone. Her voice was weak and scratchy, like she’d just woken up from a nap or was recovering from a cold. She was alive, though, and that was all that mattered. 

He ignored Wayne entirely, throwing his leg over his bike. “Where are you?” Happy pulled his helmet on, trying to adjust it with his free hand. 

“Benicia Bay. I think it’s the Shorelight Inn,” she answered, the sound of birds in the background. “313.”

“Stay put. I’m on my way,” Happy replied, pausing before he snapped the phone shut. 

“Trust me, I’m not going anywhere,” Kat chuckled, coughing. “Don’t push too hard, Hap. I’m ok.” 

Happy barely heeded her words. He took off out of the yard so quickly that he nearly drove over Unser’s foot, the old man not shuffling out of the way fast enough. Happy wasn’t concerned with much besides getting to Kat. 

“The hell is he headed?” Jax asked, walking up to stand next to Wayne. Unser looked shocked, taking a moment to explain. 

“Break in at his mom’s old house. He made a call and then took off,” Unser told him, shrugging. He had no idea who Happy had called or why he had taken off with no warning. 

Jax knew who’d been living in Dorothy’s house, though, and he made sure to call in Tig instead of Happy for the next watch. Anything that took the Killer away at a time like this had to be important. 

The ride felt too long. No matter how fast Happy pushed or how many stop lights he ignored, he wasn’t making quick enough progress. Right now, he had a task, and that gave him the tiniest sliver of peace. 

Happy found Katarina’s room quickly, reminding himself not to pound his fist on the door. He might be impatient, but he needed to remember that Kat might be asleep or be slow getting to the door. 

Kat opened the door slowly, peeking out at him. Her face was swollen and bruised in several spots. She looked out at him nervously, gesturing for Happy to come in. 

“Shit,” he breathed, his hands paused in mid-air as he stopped himself from reaching for her. Katarina didn’t understand why he’d stopped. She looked at his hands for a moment, unsure what to say. 

“I know; it’s awful.” She covered her face with her hands, looking away from him. Kat turned around, letting Happy follow her into the hotel room. His expression was hard, and she couldn’t bear to think of the judgement he was probably passing. 

Happy didn’t say another word. His mind was boiling and his insides writhed with the extreme need to find whoever had done this. Not only had they violated his private space, they’d dared to hit someone under his protection. The hands that had dared bruise Katarina’s face were going to have every finger crushed with a hammer before Happy started slicing them off knuckle by knuckle. 

The bed had nearly been stripped, and Happy noticed Kat had moved the comforter and pillows to the little couch. He glanced at her, realising she was standing with her back almost pressed to the opposite wall, watching his movements. For an agonising few minutes, he wondered if she was scared of him. 

“I can’t, um, I can’t lay flat to sleep,” she explained, clearing her throat as she stammered. She wrung her hands, clearly as uncomfortable as Happy. “I know you’re probably mad at me. Or disappointed, something,” Kat shrugged, wincing at the pain in her shoulders. 

Happy had mostly stopped listening after the word mad. He was beyond mad, well into furious, and he couldn’t get past the fact that he had very little idea who had done this. The club was being pulled in two directions over the home invasions, and he didn’t know which side to believe. Hell, at this point he was more than ready to scorch the entire earth just to be sure he’d gotten the right bastards. 

As he tried to get his thoughts back on track, thinking of the best way to word his questions, Happy finally heard what she’d said. The shock must have been clear on his face because Kat’s expression mirrored it. 

“I ain’t fucking mad at you,” he growled, the rage seeping into his words eventhough it wasn’t directed at her. “Why the fuck would you think that?” 

Katarina ducked her head. She had no idea how to match his gaze right now. There was a fire in his eyes she hadn’t seen before, and Kat still wasn’t sure Happy wasn’t about to throw her out. 

Happy took a deep breath, trying to calm down enough to reach for her. He was terrified that he’d hurt her just by wrapping her up in his arms. He wanted to hold onto her, curl around her and keep her tucked away from the world. He didn’t know the extent of her injuries, though, or if Kat would even want him that close. 

“I’ll be back,” he said sharply, marching for the door. Kat took a giant step towards him, freezing as Happy held out his hand to stop her. His posture was rigid, and his eyes were hard. Happy stormed out of the hotel room, slamming the door so hard that the windows rattled. 

Katarina walked over to the window, leaning in to watch him walk down the hall. Someone came out of their room two doors down. The man clearly looked angry at the noise, and Kat could hear his voice as he shouted at Happy for slamming the door. Happy didn’t even hesitate, knocking the guy to the ground with a single hit. 

Her hand went to the doorknob. Kat was ready to rush after him, but she realised how much worse that would make things with the state of her face. Happy didn’t pause, though, just kept walking, disappearing from view as he rounded the corner. 

After a few hours, Happy returned to the hotel. He’d gotten lucky and stumbled on a petty thief trying to snatch an old woman’s purse, getting a chance to vent some of his anger. It wasn’t the target he wanted, but it still gave him a release. 

He unpacked the food he’d brought from his saddlebag, trying not to get any grease on the blanket he’d also gotten. He knew Katarina had to be worried and tired, so he wanted to bring her something soft and comforting. If anything, it had to be a big step up from the scratchy hotel blankets. 

Just as before, Kat opened the door slowly, keeping her distance from him. She looked smaller than he remembered, and Happy was met with another wave of frustration as he looked at the bruises on her skin. He pushed it away and deposited the food on the table, turning to shake out the blanket. He held his arms open, waiting for Kat to come to him. 

Kat slowly walked over, grinning a little as Happy wrapped her up in the soft grey blanket. He helped her sit on the couch, trying to make sure she didn’t get jostled. 

Happy knelt in front of her, reaching for her hands. He watched her closely to be sure Kat was ok with him touching her. She didn’t pull away, and Happy raised her hands to his mouth, brushing his lips across each one before pressing them to his cheeks. He held them against his face as he closed his eyes, letting himself appreciate that she was here. 

“Happy,” she whispered, her eyes a little teary as he finally looked at her. He let her go, pushing up from the floor and moving to sit next to her. She didn’t say it, but he had an idea of what she wanted. 

Happy stayed fairly still, letting Katarina lift his arm and curl up against his side. She scooted in as close as she could, nearly crawling into his lap. 

“Food’s gonna get cold,” he murmured, chuckling softly as Katarina made a funny little noise. She moved a bit more, letting out a curse as she twisted her ribs a bit too far. “Quit wrigglin’. Just tell me what you’re after,” Happy chided, looking down at her. 

“I need…” Kat began, biting the inside of her cheek. Happy could tell she didn’t want to admit something. “I just need to feel close,” she finished, wondering if he would understand her. 

Happy shifted away for just a second, pulling his shirt off. He put Katarina’s hand over the ‘K’ on his chest, his heart beating faster at the way it instantly put a grin on her face. He slid his arms around her carefully, feeling Kat tuck her head under his chin and return his embrace. 

She grabbed for his hand, putting it on her cheek. Happy leaned back just enough to kiss the top of her head, snuggling her close once more. He stroked his thumb over her cheekbone, his touch soft. Within a few minutes, Katarina was sound asleep. 

Tags: @gemini0410 @scuzmunkie @woahitslucyylu @chibsytelford @jitterbugs927 @yourwonkywriter @bigcreatorwombatdreamer @withmyteeth @est1887 @poge-life

[invisibleraven]

❝  i’m staying.  end of discussion.  you gotta learn to let people take care of you.  ❞ for the Alex ship of your choice?

Of all of Reggie's strange hobbies, Alex never expected hiking to be one of them. Yet one Saturday morning, Reggie asked if Alex wanted to come, and he was surprised and intrigued so he agreed. That's how he found himself walking up the picturesque trail that Reggie had picked for them.

"Wow, it's so peaceful. How'd you ever find this place Reg?" Alex asked, taking in the natural beauty surrounding them.

"I come here a lot," Reggie replied. "I found it about a year ago, and I just fell in love. Gives me piece of mind, all the quiet. I don't have to think, I can just... be." He closed his eyes, breathing in deep, arms flung out wide before opening his eyes and beaming at Alex.

Alex had to stop at that, taking Reggie in. The way the sun highlighted the multitude of freckles across the bridge of his face. How the foliage around them brought out the green of his eyes. Reggie seemed to almost glow here, a bright spot in the midst of trees. "Y-yeah, it's.. nice. To have that place to slow down."

Reggie grinned at that, grabbing Alex's hand. "Well, not too slow, come on, you'll love the view from the peak!"

And the view from the top of the trail was gorgeous, but Alex kept finding his eyes drifting to Reggie. Which is probably how he ended up tripping over a root and twisting his ankle. "Fuck," he swore, hissing as he tried to put weight on his foot. "Nope, no way am I walking back down."

Reggie came over to his side, helping him back up. "I'll help you, we're almost back to the car, it'll be okay." Very slowly they managed to hobble their way back to the bottom of the trail, and Reggie carefully helped Alex into the car. "Hospital or home?" he asked as he pulled out of the parking lot.

"Home, I have ice and ace bandages there," Alex replied, clutching at the window strap to keep his mind off of the pain throbbing in his ankle. Reggie nodded, steering his ancient jalopy towards the Mercer's home.

Neither of Alex's parents were home though. Gone off to some church retreat, which was probably for the best. Alex couldn't bear whatever judgement they would pass on him for getting hurt. And there is no way they'd let Reggie in his room, but here he was, sitting Alex up on his bed, a pillow under his foot.

"Now, I'm going to grab some ice, and then you can pick a movie for us to watch," Reggie said.

"You don't have to stay Reg, I'll be okay," Alex murmured. Honestly he just wanted to wallow in his embarrassment of hurting himself over a silly infatuation with his best friend.

Reggie scoffed at that. "Alone? Yeah right. I’m staying. End of discussion. You gotta learn to let people take care of you man. I know you're used to taking care of us, because you hold the collective band brain cell, but for right now, just relax."

"Reggie..."

"Besides," Reggie continued, his face pink with a blush, "It's kind of my fault you got hurt, I dragged you on the hike in the first place, so I'd never forgive myself if I left you alone." Then he chuckled. "Plus, it gives me an excuse not to go home, and it's not like hanging out with you is a hardship Alex."

"Oh... okay," Alex whispered, sure his face rivalled the colour of his favourite hoodie by now. "Can we watch The Bodyguard?"

"Whitney Houston singing Dolly Parton songs in a great movie? D'uh!" Reggie rushed off to get the supplies, and Alex bit back a smile as he went. Sure his ankle was killing him, and he was sure he would catch flack from the other guys when they heard, but the prospect of spending the afternoon with Reggie was more than worth it.

But later, when Alex sleepily confessed that he had hurt himself because he was watching Reggie, the bassist had to laugh. "You literally fell for me!"

"Don't make me push you off the bed," Alex grumbled.

"Oh no, I am telling this story to everyone! It's not every day that you get the guy of your dreams to fall head over feet for you!" Reggie crowed.

"The guy of your dreams?" Alex questioned.

Reggie's face softened at that. "Well yeah. I don't just share my secret spot with anyone."

Alex surged up to kiss him at that, and Reggie grinned as he adjusted their mouths, sinking into the kiss, and Alex had the hysterical thought that his ankle didn't hurt any longer. But he wasn't telling Reggie that, not until the next time he attempted to bring them hiking again anyways.

[animeomegas]

Omega!Saiki Kusuo x Alpha!Reader

Anon: Hiiii, I was delighted that you included Saiki K. on your list.Now yes, can I order a Saiki Kusuo x alpha reader, please? I have nothing in mind for now, just a few soft headcannons would be fine,please.

Anon:  omega saiki kusuo x alpha male reader ?🥺👉👈

Anon:  omega kusuo with alpha male reader? sfw and nsfw headcanons pls!!

(Heyyyy! Saiki K is so popular today and this is my favourite anime so I think you three have excellent taste. I re watched some episodes yesterday and remembered why I love him so much. I try my hardest to write gender neutral alpha reader so that it can be reader either way. N-SFW under cut. Enjoy~)

Warnings: 

Saiki is a very sweet omega but this isn’t obvious unless you’re close to him and you make an effort to notice his actions.

He expresses his affection in actions rather than in words and this is the most obvious when he’s in a relationship with an alpha.

His love language is acts of service. 

He will help you with work, clean for you, stoically mother hen you when you’re sick etc.

And all he asks for in return is for you to take bugs outside for him.

Saiki doesn’t really like PDA in front of people he knows: his friends and parents are too nosy for him.

But if you’re out together in public, he’s happy to hold hands or have you rest your head on his shoulder. 

Stay at home dates are Saiki’s favourite though. Watching old terrible films or playing video games, a blanket over both your laps is Saiki’s idea of an amazing date. A perfect date is much the same but ends with coffee jelly. 

Saiki really likes the smell of both your scents mingling together but he’s too much of a tsundere to admit that and ask you to scent anything, which is why he always brings out a blanket when you hang out together. 

He puts those blankets in the prime position in his nest.

As your relationship progresses, Saiki gets more confident initiating and accepting physical affection, but he’ll never ask for it verbally. He will simply start cuddling you, no words needed.

His favourite cuddling position is the half-spoon. He loves to rest his head on your chest, especially when he’s wearing his geranium ring. When he’s wearing it, he isn’t bombarded with the din of other peoples’ thoughts, and can rest while listening to your heartbeat. 

He always feels less anxious when he’s wearing his geranium ring in your company. He trusts you to keep him safe (from his other friends mostly *cough*).

Kusuo has a very light florally scent. His scent isn’t normally very noticeable unless he’s feeling extremely strong emotions or he’s near or in heat.

His scent is very similar to his parents. His family’s scents are as follows:

Kuniharu (omega) - Very sweet flowers, almost like perfume. His scent is much more noticeable in comparison to his sons.

Kurumi (alpha) - Her scent is also a nature based one, but she smells like a forest after it’s been raining. She gets a lot of compliments on her scent.

Kusuke (omega) - His scent is very similar to Kusuo’s, but stronger. He always wears scent blockers though, so most people will never smell it.

Once you know about his powers, everytime your mind wonders you panic about whether Saiki heard you or not. He always gives the same little smile when he heard what you thought.

Saiki always finds it amusing when you get embarrassed after thinking dirty thoughts about him.

He doesn’t really like to use his powers too much, so he won’t like it if you ask him for things too much. 

He loves to feel normal, and your relationship is the closest to normal he’s ever felt.

Dates like this were always so peaceful. 

You and Saiki were wandering serenely around a nearby park, the chill of Winter clear in your visible breath. You watched some nearby children play in the snow with a gentle smile on your face. This was a lovely date.

You were staying with Saiki and his parents temporarily and Saiki demanded you both leave for a moment of peace. You couldn’t help but agree. His parents were lovely but you had to admit, the crying got a little much at times.

You were enjoying the comfortable silence with Saiki, even as you were slowly losing feeling in your hands. Jeez, it was cold.

“Here.” 

You jumped at the sound of Saiki’s voice. He was holding out a hand for you to take, a light blush dusting his ears. He was the cutest. 

You smiled and accepted the hand, basking in how warm he was.

‘Thank you.’ You thought, knowing he was listening to you.

He squeezed your hand tighter in response. 

Silence was never uncomfortable with Saiki. That was one of the things you loved the most about him.

N-SFW Headcanons under cut (feat. Slightly!Older!Saiki)

Note: I write both male and female alphas with the same genitalia so this will be gender neutral.

Saiki is a sub leaning switch.

Most of the time, he is happy to let you take the lead, especially the first few times, but deeper into your relationship he gets quite a thrill from occasionally having his way with his alpha.

When he gets in these moods he likes to pin your hands above your head while he rides you. He smirks the whole time as well.

When he subs, he gets very wet, very quickly and this makes his so blushy.

When you first started this kind of relationship, it was very vanilla. Saiki won’t bring up new things to try, but if you introduce an idea, he’s normally willing to try it.

He would never say it out loud, but Saiki enjoys feeling powerless. He likes being tied up a lot but it requires a lot of trust for him (even if he could escape whenever he wanted).

This man looks phenomenal in black shibari ropes.

One of Saiki’s biggest kinks is mind-reading during sex.

Out loud dirty talk embarrasses him too much, but reading your dirty thoughts about him riles him up like nothing else.

Hearing how sexy you find him and how turned on you are makes him feel so hot. 

Saiki doesn’t like being punished, but he enjoys some teasing. 

He likes to be overstimulated, but it can be risky because he can and will lose control over some of his powers. 

Accidentally collapsing two walls of your bedroom was a bit embarrassing for him.

His scent is the strongest when he’s in heat

Saiki always showers after sex (apart from when he’s in heat). He hates feeling sticky. He doesn’t mind if you join him though.

You absently scrolled through your phone as you watched Saiki play video games. You were both sprawled on your bedroom floor, Saiki’s favourite blanket draped over your laps. You huffed a breath, closing your phone, bored. Focusing lazily on the game, your mind began to wander to a more interesting topic, mainly your mate.

It was coming up to your one year mating anniversary. You almost growled thinking of the first time you mated. Your hands gripped the blanket as your thoughts began to go down a dangerous path.

He had moaned so prettily for you back then, too much of a sensitive virgin to even try and control himself. And my god was he wet. Your stomach clenched in need. You remember how soaked his nest was the first time you mated and you didn’t even make him squirt. How wet would he be if you made him do that?

‘Hmm,’ You thought. ‘Bet I could make him squirt.’

GAME OVER

You jumped as the automated voice echoed around the room. Saiki had lost the game. You turned to him.

“Better luck next...” You trailed off, distracted by the aggressive blush plastered on his face. “You okay?” 

Saiki turned away from you, hands flexing under the blanket. Belatedly, you noticed something else under blanket. He was hard. You sniffed the air discreetly. Yep, he was definitely turned on but why would he...?

Oh god, he’d been reading your thoughts. 

“Stay out of my head, Kusuo!” You whined, throwing a pillow from your bed at him. 

He dodged the pillow easily. 

“I don’t know why it’s my fault that you think so loudly.” He stated, his monotone voice more shaky than normal.

You raised an eyebrow at him: his shoulders were shaking. “Did you like what you heard?” You scooted closer to him, making sure to tickle his mating mark with your breath. 

Saiki shivered, and that was all the invitation you needed. Easily, you pinned him to the floor, both of you still tangled in the blanket. 

The floor wasn’t the most comfortable place, but neither you nor Saiki noticed for even a moment.

[lovetorn]

all for the game [dream]

Exy player!Dream x Reader

summary: dream runs into trouble when the florida falcons play the edgar allan ravens.

w/c: 3.4k+ :D

warnings: violence, blood, swearing, ha typical exy shit

a/n: an au based on my favourite book trilogy, all for the game. idea by 🍀 anon <3 i wrote this for my own enjoyment AHHAHAAH. if u don’t understand the rules etc of exy, it’s basically hockey, soccer and lacrosse meshed together, but if u have any questions, send me an ask!

—

Exy is a bastard sport, an evolved sort of lacrosse with the violence of ice hockey. Dream loves every aspect of it. It is vastly different from the usual college football, and it certainly gives you more bruises. Maybe a little too many more bruises. Played in a stadium, on a soccer-sized basketball court with plexiglass to protect the crowd, it brings Dream immense joy.

Scooping the ball into the net of his racket, Dream looks at the wall before he uses his body to launch the ball towards it. The ball is quick to bounce back and plop into Dream’s net. He adjusts his grip on the stick and tilts his head, deciding where his next shot should be.

“Dream?” The dirty blonde turns around and sees you push through the plexiglass door that leads onto the court. “Hey!”

Dream smiles from under his helmet. “Hi, Y/n!” You don't play Exy, choosing to watch your best friend from the sidelines instead. He grips the grate of his helmet and slides his head out of it, his hair sticking up in every direction. “What are you doing here?”

You throw your arms up. “Coming to see you practice the great sport that is Exy,” You laugh before spinning around and looking up at the highest seats of the stadium. “Haven’t broken a bone yet, I assume?” This made Dream laugh.

“No, not yet. Saving that for the game against the Ravens.”

Dream’s determination for Exy scared you a little bit—it was almost like he wanted to get hurt. “Easy, tiger. We all know what happened last time we played them. Never again, please,” You shake your head, walking closer to him. The last time the Florida Falcons played the West Virginia Edgar Allan Ravens, Dream got a concussion so bad he couldn’t walk for a few days. You had sworn they would pay for their damage, but Dream went against you.

Dream rolls his eyes, lightheartedly. “That’s the way the game goes, Y/n. No way you can stop it,” he said that back then, too. You throw him a glare before taking the racket out of his hand to gain his full attention.

“Just, please be careful.” You practically beg. Dream’s eyebrows raise slightly, surprised. He didn’t see that coming.

“Yeah, always,” He follows your eyes as they trace the scar that runs from his temple to the middle of his forehead. You sigh and pass his racket back to him.

—

The dark purple Edgar Allan Ravens bus pulls into the Falcon’s home stadium car park that Friday night. Fans from all over the state and West Virginia crowd the entrances and surprisingly, there are a lot more supporters in purple and black than green and white.

Dream looks down at his forest green Exy uniform and smooths out his jersey. He rolls his neck in a circle to release the building tension. A hand clamps down on his shoulder as Dream slips his hands into his green and white gloves.

“You’re gonna be fine, dude. We all are,” Sapnap says, although Dream can hear the waver in his voice. Dream shakes his head and Sapnap inhales sharply.

“Nah, we won’t be.”

Sapnap slides his hand off of Dream’s shoulder and turns around, probably going to the bathroom to calm his crippling trepidation. The locker room is silent as the team moves around, changing and preparing themselves for the game ahead. Dream tries not to think about the team on the other side of the stadium, who are most likely already warming up despite the game starting in an hour.

Dream opens his locker and fumbles around for his phone. He needs to know that you’re here. Opening his messages, he’s frozen from the notifications coming through.

I hope your little friend prayed for you last night.

You got lucky with that concussion. Take this as a warning.

Dream’s fingertips trail up to hover above the scar on his forehead. He clenches his fist and throws his phone back into the locker, not flinching when the dark green metal dents. Dream leans his head against his forearm that rests on the locker.

“Dream! Dude, calm down,” A voice calls from across the room. Footsteps come up behind him and Dream has to stop the tears collecting on his waterline. “It’ll be fine, Coach said he might put you on for one half.”

George’s comments do nothing to soothe Dream’s anxiety. Dream has told nobody about the threats he’s been getting for a few days leading up to this game. If he told you, he wouldn’t even be here. You.

Dream ducks down to find his phone. George furrows his eyebrows as he watches. “Wha—?”

Grasping his phone, Dream then stalks out of the locker room. He walks down the hallway towards the inner court, presses your phone number on his now-smashed phone, and brings it to his ear. Pick up, pick up. “Dream?”

The sound of your voice makes Dream exhale deeply. “Where are you?” He asks desperately.

Dream can hear the crowd chattering through the phone as he scans over the stadium trying to find you.

“Uh, section 4, row 38, where I am every home game. Why? Is everything okay?” The worry in your voice is evident and it fails to calm Dream down like he thought it would. And when he sees waves of purple instead of green, his anxiety grows.

“I—Y/n. I need to see you, I don’t—I can’t,” Dream screws his eyes shut and tries to breathe through his nose slowly.

“Dream, I’m coming. I can see you in the inner court. Stay there.”

Y/n hangs up after that and Dream looks at his phone.

Scared? A text says from an unknown number.

Dream presses his tongue into the inside of his cheek and blinks a few times. A knock on the plexiglass behind him startles Dream. He turns and sees you smiling. He lifts his hand in a small wave and you do the same, laughing at him. At least he has a way to take his mind off of the shit with the Ravens.

A bell signals the start of the line-up announcements and Dream throws his thumb over his shoulder. You nod, understandingly, and blow him a kiss. Dream smiles shyly, his cheeks growing pink before he turns to leave.

You make your way back up to your seat, your legs bouncing in anticipation as the Ravens walk on the court one by one while the announcer calls the line-up. Once the Ravens are in a line on the halfway line, the Falcons are announced.

Since teams are co-ed, the variances in heights differ greatly. The Ravens are much taller than a majority of the Falcons, which gives them an advantage, to an extent. Dream had told you that being shorter allows you to move around the court with more agility, but being 6’2’’, Dream chose to be a striker instead of a dealer or a backliner.

“Number 2, Dream Tucker.”

At the sound of your best friend’s name, you stand and cheer, earning a few dirty looks from Ravens fans. As the remainder of the team is announced, you grow more nervous than you thought possible. A warning buzzer sounds and both teams go back to their benches.

“Alright, guys, this is our biggest game of the season, again. The last game against these idiots wasn’t ideal, but don’t let that deter you from doing your best tonight. That goes for you too, Dream," Coach looks towards Dream and he nods. Dream draws his bottom lip between his teeth from under his helmet and looks down at the ground. Sapnap’s hand slaps Dream's back in support and then the rest of the team is in agreement.

At his teammates’ words, Dream huffs. He can do this. The starting team goes onto the court, the doors closing behind them with a thump and then the scrape of a lock.

Dream sits on the bench next to Punz and Liliana. They hear the buzzer go off again and then watch as Sapnap flicks the ball into the air and slams it with his racket. There’s a distinctive crack as both teams race off their lines to find their preferred place on the court along with the players they need to mark. Three bodies crash into each other and the ball pops out on the other side, rolling silently.

At the sight of violence, the stadium roars. A Ravens backliner throws the ball and it hits the plexiglass in front of Dream who jumps in surprise. The ball is picked up off the floor by another Ravens player. He throws it to a girl who is running across the court and it lands perfectly into her net. Dream sees Tegan bodyslam the girl into the wall, the glass shuddering under their weight and Sapnap throws his hand up in a thumbs-up at Tegan, who smiles under her helmet.

The ball sails high in the air and players push and shove each other under it. As it comes down, George gets pushed to the floor, skidding to a stop a few feet away. The Ravens striker looks George dead in the eye and smirks as he catches the ball. He then tosses it powerfully towards the home court goal and the Falcons' goalie, Gabby, hits it up the court and away from herself. Dream, Punz and Liliana cheer from their spots on the subs bench.

“Nice one, Gabs! Falcons down the court!” Coach yells through the plexiglass.

Dream wears a smile when he turns back to look at you. You grin back, give him a thumbs-up, and nod. That’s when Dream knows he’s ready.

But, ten minutes into the game, the Ravens break the Falcons defensive line. The ball slips through the gap between Gabby’s torso and racket and lands in the back of the net, the siren above the goal going red and blaring a high-pitched sound. The Ravens don’t hug or cheer and return to their places on the court. Their fans, however, throw insults and middle fingers up at the Falcons while screaming and hollering.

“Fuck’s sake,” Dream mumbles. Punz slaps his pair of gloves against the bench and Liliana shakes her head.

The game went on like this for the rest of the half—the Ravens scoring 6 more goals, the Falcons scoring none. At half-time, Sapnap throws his helmet on the floor of the locker room.

“I fucking hate these guys,” He curses, pacing around the room. Coach sits on a chair, his elbows on his knees.

“We all do, but complaining about it isn’t going to help us win,’ Dream says. “Coach put me on.”

Coach looks at Dream for a moment. The tension in the room is thick and Dream knows he’s pushing his luck by asking. Nonetheless, Coach sighs before nodding stiffly.

“Dream goes on for Peter, Punz on for Drew, Liliana on for Tegan.”

And so it’s decided. Dream’s thumbs fly across his screen as he texts you. You pull your phone out of your pocket at the sound of your text tone and see the message. I’m on.

You smirk softly at it and message him back before you tuck your phone back into your pocket. The warning buzzer sounds and then both teams are back on the court: the Ravens with a whole new line-up and the Falcons with their three new subs.

Dream’s heart pounds in his chest, sending shuddery heat through every inch of his body. He holds his breath in anticipation for the serve, and then it starts. The Ravens are clearly a lot more experienced than the Falcons, but that doesn’t stop the team in green from giving everything they’ve got.

The ball hits the far wall and comes soaring back, thanks to the Ravens goalie. Dream jumps to catch it before it can fly over his head and it lands safely in the soft net of his striker racket. He looks around for opponents and takes 7 steps of his allowed 10, and passes it to George who is open further down the court. George catches the ball, then twists and passes the ball across to Punz. His mark collides with him a moment later and George goes sliding, his arm out with his racket to help him balance. Punz runs down the court, stops, then throws the ball to Liliana. His mark slams his racket down violently on Punz’s in retaliation. The backliner shakes his head in annoyance and continues running.

Dream is already near the goal by the time it gets to him again. He gets the ball and only has two steps to aim and shoot before a Ravens player crashes into him. Dream hits the ground so hard, he rolls. But, the crowd holds their breath as they watch the ball sail past the goalie and into the back of the net. The siren glows red and all Dream can hear is his ears ringing. Sapnap runs up to Dream and helps him up, congratulating him in the process. Dream looks around confused before realising he scored a goal. The entire team rushes towards him, cheering and laughing.

“Good job, Dream! Let’s do that again!” Coach yells. Dream’s surprised he can hear him over the crowd.

The game starts again with Falcons serve. The Falcons’ are fired up and back in the game, even if it is 6-1. And as soon as George throws Dream the ball, he dodges his mark and flies up the court, unguarded and ready to score again. The Ravens’ goalie isn’t prepared for Dream’s throw and misses the ball as it’s thrown at him, making the score 6-2. The crowd gets impossibly louder and Dream looks up into the sea of people to spot you. The smile on your face gives Dream newfound confidence and then everybody is back at their starting positions.

The Ravens are angry, there’s no doubt about that. Sapnap gives the striker a boyish smirk and a snide comment, which Dream can’t hear. He guesses it pisses them off because the second the ball is thrown from the Ravens dealer, the striker goes straight for Sapnap. The younger boy is thrown against the wall of the court and continues to spit insults at the Ravens player, despite his situation.

“Sapnap! Get out of there, bro!” Punz yells, collecting the ball from the ground and throwing it back to Gabby to hit up the court. Sapnap laughs and shakes his head, his lips still moving. Dream sees, out of the corner of his eye, the Ravens player drawing his fist back before punching Sapnap in the nose. The Falcons fans in the crowd start booing at the unnecessary violence and the referees unlock the doors to intervene. Dream meets Sapnap’s eye and raises his eyebrows when he sees Sapnap laughing, blood dripping into his mouth and coating his teeth. The referees pull the Ravens striker off of Sapnap and give him a red card for throwing the first punch. The Ravens fans boo and start swearing at the referees, but their cries are drowned out by the sound of the home crowd.

Due to the incident, the teams are to go back to their positions to start the serve again. Now that the Ravens are down a player, Dream knows the ways to get around them, especially when Sapnap is unguarded.

“Dream!” Sapnap calls when Dream catches the ball. He spins around a little too quickly, loses his balance slightly but throws the ball anyway. As he watches it fly across the court, Dream feels his entire body get crushed against the wall of the court. His head rebounds off the wall from the impact. There’s a heavy weight that pushes him into it more and he can’t breathe. Dream flails his arms, drops his racket, and attempts to push the Ravens player off of him. There’s no doubt that Dream hit his head again. He knows he did. A helmet can only do so much.

Dream can only hear ringing in his ears as he feels the Raven get pulled off—and it isn't the same ringing he heard when he scored the Falcons first goal. He tries to scramble to his feet before he crumples to the ground. Dream blinks a few times, disorientated, but still fails to gain a conscious mind. His eyes start to close when he feels his helmet being tugged off and then someone’s slapping his cheeks. “Stay awake, Dream.”

Dream can barely hear the sound of someone slamming their fists against the plexiglass behind him and then the person in front of him nods. He thinks it’s Sapnap. “Come on, bro, it’s only a few steps and then you can lie down.”

Dream’s head lols to the side, eyes half-open and a lazy grin on his mouth. “Sappy,” he slurs. Sapnap lets out a laugh for the first time since his best friend got knocked out and smiles at him.

“Yeah, dude, it’s me. We’re gonna get you fixed up, okay?” Dream nods before he closes his eyes. “No, no, Coach!” The world fades out around him and Dream falls unconscious.

—

The light is so bright above him. Dream closes his eyes again after he opens them and groans softly. The sound is almost too quiet for you to hear, but you do. And when you do, you lift your head from where you were resting on the edge of his bed. The chair you are sitting in is uncomfortable, so when you stand up, your muscles ache. “Hey, baby, how do you feel?”

If Dream was fully conscious, he would have blushed immensely at the sound of the pet name, but for the moment, he feels like he’s in a dream. His mouth is dry and he struggles to keep his eyes open for longer than 3 seconds. “You don’t have to talk, it’s okay.”

Dream feels pressure on his hand and moves his head slightly to see that your fingers are wrapped around his. You hear him murmur something, and lean down.

“Hi,” He whispers. You furrow your eyebrows at his greeting and look him in the eyes.

“That’s all I get? Hi?” You let out a breathy laugh and use your other hand to brush his hair away from his forehead. But, Dream can’t feel you on his skin. He hesitantly lifts his other hand to touch his forehead and feels a bandage.

“Surprise! Another scar,” You joke. Although, Dream can hear the edge to your words. Your smile disappears from your lips and then you sigh. Your eyes scan over Dream’s face, noting the dull green of his eyes and the pale of his skin. “Oh, Dream. I was so worried about you.”

Dream opens his eyes from when they had fallen closed again and sees the silent tears dripping down your cheeks. “It’s okay, I’m here, I’m fine,” His voice is scratchy and the sound of the word ‘fine’ does not sound fine. You smile sadly at him, then huff, wiping at your face.

“I almost forgot…” You trail off, rounding the bed to the other side to pick up a bowl and a cotton ball. You sit on the edge of the bed and dip the cotton into the antiseptic. You turn Dream’s head slowly to get a better look at the cut on his cheek. You drag the medicine over the gash and watch as Dream doesn’t flinch.

Once you are done, you place both of the things on the side table of the medical bay in the Falcons home stadium and look at Dream. He gives you a lazy smile and his fingers twitch against yours. “Thank you.”

You nod, eyes wide. “Of course, you know I’ll always be here to clean you up.”

Dream can feel his skin heating up. You get a concerned look on your face when you see the rise in pink on his cheeks. “Oh my god, are you heating up? Do you have a fever?”

He wants to laugh so badly. “Y/n, I’m okay. It’s not a fever. I’m blushing,” Dream says bashfully.

You realise why and then grow embarrassed. “Oh.”

The air isn’t tense, but there’s something there and you want to stick around to find out what it is.

Feedback is always appreciated xx

[sorryjustafangirl]

what home is

a/n: this is my submission for @antoineroussel 's summer fic exchange 2k21! thank you for organizing this all demi. i recieved @timstuetzle and i am so excited to finally share this! im sorry it's so late but i had a lot of fun writing for Tim and i hope i did him justice! i made this a gender neutral reader again, so please enjoy my take on some friends to enemies to lovers :)

pairing: tim stützle x reader

word count: 18k+ (holey moley)

warnings: some angst, set in no covid-universe, a few swears, an odd timeline

disclaimer: this is a work of fiction and real person fiction if you don’t like that, please don’t read! the banner is made by me, with photos found from pinterest and the transparent made by @art-and-the-hockeys (thank you!!!)

The start of the season was your favourite. The chill of the rink, the sound of skate edges on the ice, the smell of skate sharpening- it was all so familiar. As an analyst, the start was the best. There were new lineups, new plays, and a chance to try new things. Considering this was your first year as a real analyst, not just checking over others' work, you were excited. You got to actually help to build a Stanley Cup winning team.

What you didn’t love was how everyone seemed to lose their heads and decide to run around the arena. You’d been looking for the coach of the Ottawa Senators for the past twenty minutes. You’d think the man would be in his office the first day back, but no. He decides to take a stroll to who-knows-where and leaves you to follow invisible breadcrumbs.

Eventually, you found yourself on one of the lower levels. You continued down the hallway, entering an open space with concrete floors. The bustle of the new season was in full swing as you swerved between various people working like gears in a machine. You tried to do your best to stay out of other people’s way but you still ended up walking into a hard surface.

“Oof!” Shit. Hard surfaces don’t usually talk. You looked up at what you ran into and saw two men staring at you. Both were wearing Senators hoodies but one was a taller blond and the other a slightly shorter brunet. The brunet has a backwards snapback on but that wasn't what made you stop in your tracks. It was his eyes. They were soft and welcoming, something like a home cooked meal, but they had a glint of adventure in them.

“Oh my gosh, I am so sorry! I wasn’t really looking where I was going. I am so sorry.” You apologized to the blond you ran into.

“Hey, all good. I’m-”

“Number 7.” You turned toward the brunet. “And...number 18, right?” When they both gave you a weird look, you shrugged. “I’m an analyst here so, uh, you’re just numbers to me.”

“Okay, ouch but you are the reason we’re going to be winning more games this season, so I'll give it to you. I’m Brady, and this is Jimmy.” The blond gestured to himself first, before gesturing beside him.

“It’s Tim, actually.”

You introduced yourself to the two players, before looking around the hallways. “Um, would either of you happen to know where the coach is? I can’t find him,” You held up the file folders in your hands. “I’ve got new numbers for him.”

“Oh yeah he’s probably close to the ice, we’ll show you.” Brady started down a hallway, both you and Tim falling in stride behind him. “So Numbers-”

“-Y/n-” You glared at Brady for the nickname, rolling your eyes as he continued on. From your peripheral vision, you saw the corners of Tim's mouth turn up.

“-If you don’t mind me saying….either you look really good for your age, or you aren’t old enough to be working here,” He continued, giving a glance your way.

You looked down at your shoes and gave a sigh. “I get that a lot, and I am young-er than my colleagues but I assure you, I am qualified to work for this organization.”

“Wasn’t doubting that, just seeing how much I get to tease ya. Jimmy’s the rookie,” He elbowed him and Tim tried to swerve around it, only to bump into a stack of pylons. Brady and you shared a grin at his expense. “So he gets all the teasing. Same for the numbers people. You’re the rookie.” He shrugged

“Well, I’m not actually a rookie anymore. This is my second year here,” You mentioned, looking towards the two guys. Brady looked impressed whereas Tim’s eyes went large and his jaw slack a little.

“How?” He asked, and you laughed. The three of you turned a corner, and you walked slightly faster to talk.

“I graduated high school pretty early. And then took my statistics undergrad at the University of Ottawa. I minored in sports studies and I met your GM at a conference for the department. When he found out I was in Ottawa alone, he kinda took me under his wing, checked in every now and again. When I graduated two years ago, he offered me an analyst position and I was lucky enough to land it. I love working here, even if I’m way younger than everyone else. Last year, I stayed in my office a lot, double checking people’s work but this year, they gave me more responsibility. I’m excited for the challenge.”

“You are going to be great.” Tim said, meeting your eyes, his gaze showing that his comment was genuine. You ducked away from his gaze but muttered a ‘thanks’. The three of you rounded another corner, Brady ducking out to talk to a reporter, but Tim said he’d help you find the coach.

You settled into a comfortable silence as you walked beside each other through the chilled hallways. He abruptly took a left turn, cutting you off and causing you to bump into him. You immediately apologized, this being the second time today you’d run into a hockey player.

“‘S my fault, I’m still getting used to the new arena,” He said, a sheepish smile appearing on his face. He nodded his head down the hallway, as a silent ‘after you’ and you started walking. As you got further down, you realized Tim walked you out to the bench. The light became brighter, the air a little crisper, and the floor turned from a concrete grey to a bright red. Your eyes wandered up, admiring the view from down here. You’d be truthful earlier, you’d only ever visited your office. But from down here, you could see everything- the thousands of seats, the banners hanging from the ceiling, the crystal white ice. You stood close to the wall, as if to try to intimidate a fly on a wall, seeing everything as if you weren’t there. You could feel Tim could up from behind you, letting you take it all in for the first time.

“That’s Coach,” He leaned closer to you as he pointed across the ice towards someone in a tracksuit. You nodded and although Tim dropped his hand, he stayed close to you. The coach eventually noticed the two of you and started to skate over to the bench. Tim cleared his throat and you looked at him.

“I got to- I have to go now, but, um, I’ll see you around?” You nodded to his question, a soft smile on your lips. He rocked back and forth on his heels, as if he knew he had to leave but he kept getting pulled towards you. “Good luck with the season.”

“Good luck with yours too.” At that he turned away from you, and you turned to the coach, pulling out your file folder to talk with him.

***

A week or two later and the start of the season was upon the Canadian Tire Centre. The home opener was in a few days and your week had been hectic, trying to get notes from practices and implement what you saw into your analysis. After a morning full of spreadsheets, you decided to take your lunch break in your sanctuary. Last year, the arena felt too big to stick around in on your lunch break. So you had headed outside, where you discovered a small hiking trail about a ten minute drive from work. It quickly became a place where you went whenever you needed to clear your head. And after the morning you had, it was the perfect place to go, so you hopped in your car and started towards it.

At the top of the hill, you put the car in park, grabbed your lunch bag and started towards your spot. It was past the picnic tables that had a nice view of the suburbs, but it wasn't secluded. Your spot was off the beaten path, but there was a small ledge with a perfect view of the arena, highway, and surrounding green spaces. You turn the corner, ducking under a tree branch, ready to exhale the heck of the morning you had.

But there was already someone sitting in your spot. Their head was down, but you recognized the logo and number 18 on their hoodie. Cautiously, you approached him.

“18...Is it okay if I sit here?” You asked, and his head shot up. He shot you a small smile and quick nod. You sat down, placing your bag in front of you, taking out a granola bar.

“You can call me Tim, you know. That is my name,” You gave him a shy smile and you could feel your cheeks heat up at his comment.

“I didn’t think anyone knew about this place, Tim,” You mentioned quietly. It felt weird, to be honest, to be sharing your spot with someone, but it didn’t feel like he was intruding.

“My city in Germany has a lot of parks. There’s a forest near my house where I’d go when I needed a break. This is the closest I could find near the rink. I hope you don’t mind?”

“Just don’t go telling the whole team about our place,” you winked at him and took a bite of your snack.

“I can keep a secret, don’t worry.” He laughed lightly and sent you a smile.

“I don’t know if you remember me but-”

“You’re the analyst, you graduated super early right? Y/n, yeah?”

“Yeah, that’s me,” You smiled at him. “So, how are you liking Ottawa?”

“It’s alright, I haven’t seen very much of it. The ice is very good. My house is nice.” He shrugged and you gaped at him.

“That’s all you’ve seen? So you haven’t been to Parliament Hill or ByWard market or…?” you trailed off when you saw him biting his bottom lip and slowly shaking his head. “Well, you are missing out, you should go see the city sometime.”

“Do you think you could show me around? You seem to know all the best places,” He offered. You met his eyes and nodded. He dug his phone out of his pocket, passing it over to you. You raised your eyebrows at the gesture but he just pushed his phone closer to you. Silently, you imputed your number, placing a small graph emoji beside your contact name. You handed it back to him and a small smirk graced his face when he saw the emoji, before he pursed his lips at the device. You furrowed your eyebrows.

“Sorry, it’s all good. Thank you. It’s- I have to go back now, but I’ll text you, yeah?” You nodded as he handed back your phone. He walked towards the parking lot, but turned around to wave at you before he disappeared around the bend.

Later that day as you sat in the stands, a clipboard and pen in your hands, you got a text from an unknown number.

Hi

It's 18 :)

You chuckled at his use of his number and texted him back.

i thought you said i could call you tim? :(

also it’s practice?? how are you on your phone?

It starts in a couple minutes

your teammates are already on the ice

Spying on me already??

it’s literally my job to watch you practice

Guess I'll see you in the stands then :)

Oh and I'm free this weekend for that showing of the city, team bonding’s on friday

i’ll check my schedule and get back to you

now get out on the ice or you’re going to be late :)

***

You had checked your schedule, and agreed to meet that Saturday. You said you’d pick him up since you knew more of the city. You didn't want to be late so you arrived five minutes early in front of Tim's place. He walked out in his signature backwards snapback, some curls poking out the front, and a monochromatic beige outfit. Waving animatedly at you, he jogged to the car, his ever present smile on his face.

The twenty minutes ride into the city was quiet yet comfortable. A few words were exchanged about how each other’s day was so far but nothing groundbreaking. The low hum of the engine filled the silence as you drove into the city.

After parking in a Superstore (‘Free parking in downtown Ottawa is hard to come by, Tim. We’re parking in the grocery store parking lot’) and walking a few blocks, you come to the far end of the market. Lined with local businesses and brick streets, it felt homey. Tim smiled as it reminded him of back home.

“So, what are we going to see first? Your school?” He asked as the two of you walked along the streets. You laughed and shook your head.

“Pfft no. It isn’t all that interesting. I figured we’d see some of my favourite places, if that’s okay?” He assured you it was and the two of you continued through the streets, Tim with his head down as you passed people. He wasn't famous just yet, but in Canada you find hockey fans at every corner. Soon, you arrived in a small plaza with coloured picnic tables and muskoka chairs.

“Ta-da!” You gestured to the large block letters that spelled ‘Ottawa’ in the middle of the space. “It’s not much, but you’ve got to be a tourist in your own city at least once right?” He laughed along with you and you got out your phone, ready to take a picture of him so he could send it to his parents. You thought he would want a picture of him but he was quick to insist you had to be in the picture as well.

“I’m sorry, but would you mind taking a picture of us?” You asked one of the girls who were taking turns with the Ottawa sign.

“Oh sure!” You stood beside him, between the two ‘T’s in Ottawa, his arm slung over your shoulders. You smiled and looked up at Tim to see him smiling as well- and not one of those classic boy coy half smiles, a genuine one. She took a few landscape and a few portrait ones before handing your phone back. “You two are such a cute couple!”

Before you could correct the girl, Tim answered for you. “We’re just friends actually.” She apologized profusely before rejoining her group. You shuffled your feet as an awkward silence overcame you for the first time since you’d met. Your body shivered and you promptly changed the subject.

“Hey, you hungry?” He shrugged and nodded. You nodded and led him away from the sign, through a few back alleys lined with a few merchants, home artists and such. You entered a building, bustling with people. It was long and narrow, with brick flooring and merchants on either side of the middle. There were lots of people, ranging from people doing their weekly grocery shopping to tourists looking for souvenirs. You weaved between strollers and friend groups, Tim grabbing your hand to avoid getting lost. He kept his head low, hoping it would disguise him enough. This day was about you and him, not you, him and the hockey world. Eventually, the two of you exited the indoor market and came to a small opening. Instead of staying in the opening, you turned left, tugging Tim across the street to two small shacks, one red and one blue. The red one had a classic fairytale vibe to it, with beige wainscotting, red painted window frames, and topped with a white and light brown canopy over the window. Underneath the canopy, there was a string of small Canadian flags.

“Do you trust me?” He arched one of his eyebrows but nodded. “I’ll be right back.” Confused, Tim stood there as you walked up the window, spending no time looking at the menu as you ordered. He looked above the shack to see in fancy lettering the word BeaverTails. When you came back, you were holding two paper containers and had a smile on your face. He looked at the sign and then back to the bags in your hands.

“A beaver’s… tail?” You laughed at him and handed him his BeaverTail.

“It’s not actually a beaver’s tail. It’s just a fried pastry that looks like one. They come in lots of flavours but I got you the best one, cinnamon sugar.” You could tell he was hesitant but bit into his and you took a bite of your own.

Almost instantly, he groaned. “Do you take every guy here? Wow. Oh my god,” He got cinnamon smeared over his chin and you laughed as he tried to wipe it off while holding his pastry.

“Hilarious Tim, but I’ll have you know you’re like my only friend here. So… no I don’t take anyone here.” He scoffed and you raised your eyebrows.

“You’re joking. How do you not have other friends? You’re great,”

“I started university as a 16 year math major. It’s not a surprise people didn’t want to talk to me. But it’s okay. I’m used to it by now.”

“Don’t you have people from home come and visit?”

You scoffed. “I don’t really get along with my mum. We moved around a lot when I was younger and I always sorta resented her for not seeing how it affected me. And then, when I got accepted to school out here, she sold the house and started travelling. Last I talked to her, she was in Tahiti.” He raised his eyebrows.

“What about your dad? Or brothers or sisters?” You swallowed your piece of BeaverTail before answering him.

“I have an older sister, Dani. But she’s eight years older than me, so we're not the closest. She checks in every week or so because she knows my mum doesn't. She’s never come out to visit though, she runs her own business back in Seattle.”

“It must be nice to have someone though. Especially when you were growing up. What about your dad?”

“I don’t- I don’t talk about my dad.” You picked at the pastry before changing the topic. “C’mon, you have to see this place.” You gestured to a side street and the two of you made your way towards your favourite destination. You exited beside a taller building and you pressed the button to allow the two of you to cross the street. As you were waiting for the light to turn, you turned to Tim.

“So, I’m guessing you don’t have any siblings then?”

“No, but the guys at the rink were like my brothers so it wasn’t bad.” The light turned red, and the ‘walk’ light turned on. You made your way across, staying close to each other as people walked both ways.

“Hockey tends to do that,”

“Is that why you picked to work in hockey?”

You glared at him as you made it across the street. “That’s personal.”

“We’re friends, aren’t we? Friends share personal stuff.”

“That’s… it’s just different.” You shook your head and lowered the volume of your voice. “Besides, we’re here.” The two of you had stopped in front of some shallow steps that led to a tall archway, with black statues underneath and on top of the arch. It had some engravings on it, both small and large letters. From where they were standing, Tim could make out some numbers, but not well enough to understand the significance. Behind the monument and slightly to the right was the green tipped roof and gothic architecture of the Parliament building.

“What is this place?” He tilted his head as he looked at the arch in the middle of the square. To him, it wasn’t anything special, perhaps another statue of one of the colonizers of the country.

“It’s Canada’s war memorial.” You whispered, and he nodded, clasping his hands in front of his body and lowering his head. “When I was going to school, I’d come here at least once a week.”

His head stayed where it was but he raised his eyes to meet yours. “Why?”

“I know it’s not exactly everyone’s favourite place...because I know so many people died for the country, but for me, it’s a place of silence. Of reflection. It reminds me to be grateful for everything I have. Some days school would be really bad, so this place was perfect to sit and remember that life isn’t bad at all. Not when I was in a safe country, not when I had an education, not when I had a warm house to go back to.”

He nodded. “That seems...perfect. Some days are too loud, there’s too many people saying stuff. I get that.” His voice was quiet as well, as he lifted his head to focus on the stonework and engravings. The two of you stood in silence in front of the memorial for a few minutes more before you tugged on his arm.

“See that building?” You leaned in close to him, your finger extending to point at a building in the distance, a little taller than the ones around it. “That’s the university’s mathematics and physics department. I had most of my classes in that building.” He nodded, leaning in closer to you, your heads almost touching. You lowered your hand and nodded with your head towards the way you came.

“C’mon, we’re not done yet. You’ve got to see the Parliament building.” He shoved his hands in his pockets and headed left towards it. You quickly grabbed his hand and pulled him right. “I’m the tour guide, remember? Trust me, there’s a better view.” You dropped his hand as he started to walk in time with you but you had to shove it in your pocket to replace the heat his hands gave you.

A quick ten minutes walk later and you stood atop a hill overlooking the river. It was a large park with benches and an eccentric art installation in the corner. You walked close to the peak of the hill and stopped, breathing in the fresh air.

“There is Canada’s capital building. It’s nicer to see it from here than from the front where there’s a bunch of tourists. Besides, from here, you get to see more of the architecture.” The building was across the river, its massiveness more pronounced from your viewpoint. There was a dome nearest the river that was covered in flying buttresses, each support beam having intricate details that stood out. The clock tower and green tinted roof completed the gothic look.

“This view is better. Quieter. It reminds me more of home,” You bump your shoulder against his lightly.

“Glad you like it.” The two of you stood in silence until Tim shivered, at which case you decided you should start heading back. If the hockey player was cold, it was cold enough for you too.

The walk and drive back was uneventful, aside from the two of you passing jokes back and forth. When it came to drop him off, he unbuckled his seatbelt but didn’t make an effort to leave the vehicle.

“How much for our snack? I’ll pay you back,”

You waved him off. “It was my treat, don’t worry about it.” He pursed his lips, then shook it. He pulled out his phone from his pocket. A few seconds later, your phone dinged. You glared at him as you opened the text to see an e-transfer. Before you could protest, he cut you off.

“You never said I couldn’t pay for your gas," He laughed, and despite your annoyance at the loophole, you found yourself laughing along with him. He had that effect on you; he seemed to be able to ease any tension you held. “I had a good time today. Maybe we could meet again sometime?”

“I’d like that. I’ll see you at the rink?” He nodded before getting out of your car, waving like he did that morning as you drove off to your place. When you arrived home, you saw a new text from him.

Can you send those pictures you took today?

You tried to suppress a smile, sending them over to which he responded with a ‘Thank youuuu’. You set your phone on your nightstand and turned off the light. Despite your efforts, you fell asleep with a smile on your face from a perfect day with a great person.

***

“Hey, Numbers!” You stopped in your tracks and turned around to see Brady sticking his head out of the dressing room. He had taken a liking to calling you that, especially as you had started hanging around the house more. It was nice, movie nights and sometimes you’d take a pre-game nap with Tim, you had even stayed for lunch at Tim’s request. At this point, it wasn’t anything out of the ordinary for Brady to shout the nickname from anywhere. Practice had ended and you had given your notes to the coach about what to focus on for the Toronto game. “You didn’t happen to see Jimmy, did you?” When you shook your head, his face scrunched into a small frown.

“Where’d he go? Didn’t media like just end?”

He shrugged. “He didn’t even bother to change from media, he just stalked out. He didn’t say anything to any of the guys, so I thought you might’ve seen him.”

“I’ll keep a lookout for him,” You told Brady before he returned to finish dressing and you returned to your office. But even after you’d settled back into your work, there was a feeling in your stomach you couldn’t quite place. Sending a quick text off to Tim, asking where he was, you dove back into work. But it only took five minutes before you were checking your phone, seeing if he’d read the text or responded. When neither happened, you gave him a call. It sent you straight to voicemail and you hung up before you could leave a message. The feeling in your stomach grew and you packed up your bag, knowing no more work would get done tonight. It wasn’t like Tim to sulk or get in his head; he was a generally happy guy. Something must have set him off for him to be acting this way -- even with you. And if it was something this big, there was only one spot he would’ve gone.

“Brady said you stalked out of media. Figured I’d find you here.” He turned around at the sound of your voice, his shoulders dropping a little. He shrugged, which you took as your cue to take a seat beside him at your lookout space. The sun was setting, the golden hour light reflecting on his stress lines, and the sky was littered with wispy clouds.

Your hands were in the pockets of your hoodie, your legs tucked together. Despite being here for close to six years, the Canadian chill always surprised you. You sat with your shoulder pressed to his, a silent symbol of you being there for him. With his head down, he mumbled something too quiet for you to hear, so you leaned your head down to hear him better. At your movement, he huffed and lifted his head.

“I’m supposed… They wanted me to come and make a difference and to help win games. But I’m not helping! I’m supposed to be putting up points and helping win games, but we’re still losing! Like, why do I suck?”

Your chest got tight at his words. “Tim…”

“You can’t deny it, the numbers say we’re losing.”

“Losing doesn’t mean you aren’t producing. This is your first year in the NHL, you wouldn’t be here if they didn’t think you were worth it. Hockey is a team sport, it isn’t just your job to win the game.”

“But they wouldn’t have gotten me right out of the World Juniors if they didn’t need me to start making an impact right away! They were counting on me. And I’m not living up to it….”

“You are nineteen years old. Nineteen. The five other rookies ahead of you in points are all at least two years older than you. Let that sink in. You have so many years ahead of you. And secondly, no one here is expecting you to turn this team around. McDavid’s first year he didn’t turn the team around. And sure, yeah, the next year, the Oilers had more success but guess what? They missed the playoffs the next three years. Hockey is a team sport, one person, not even McDavid, can completely turn a team around. No one is expecting you to turn this team around in one season. This isn’t on you.”

“But the numbers…”

“Are you going to trust the analyst on the numbers or the assholes on Twitter?” He glared at you but let you continue on. “If you really want to talk numbers, we aren’t last in the league anymore. We’ve beat the top team in the division a couple times now. You’re putting up points, you’re helping us win. Cut yourself some slack. You’re nineteen and living in a new country. This team isn’t expecting you to be Ottawa’s saviour, okay?”

“There’s pressure to be better though! Everywhere I go, I just see how I should be doing more, how if I don’t produce more, I’m going to be a draft bust. I’m the young guy, I’m supposed to be the new blood and be able to make a difference. I feel like I’m letting everyone down.” His words lingered in the sunset glow, a contrast to the darkness he was feeling. You fell silent at his outburst, the air feeling too quiet, even with his heavy breathing. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to take it out on you.”

You ignored his apology, knowing he would never intentionally hurt you. “I graduated with a 3.8 GPA. I didn’t have enough job experience but my grades were one of the only reasons I was able to get hired so young. My first year, all I did was double check other people’s stats and predictions, and it was okay. No one expected much out of me because I was young and they didn’t really give me any responsibilities. But this year… they’re looking to me more. Teams with more than two analysts are more likely to produce teams that make the playoffs. I’m number three; I should be helping make a better team. But I’m not. I’m not getting the numbers we need or the stats we need. I know more updated methods and technologies but...it’s just not working. I’m not finding solutions to problems that this team has had for years. And the board and my colleagues see that. I know I shouldn’t worry about them firing me, but I still do. I mean, I’m not producing, why would they keep me around? This wasn’t what they wanted when they gave me the job.”

“They won’t fire you, you’re doing your best. And you’re young, you graduated early. They have to give you a chance to prove yourself in the workplace before they fire you.”

“You wanna take your own advice?” He flushed at your words, but you smiled. “Thanks, though.” He nodded and looked out over the suburbs surrounding the arena.

“The pressure in this league sucks.” He said and you leaned your head on his shoulder.

“Yeah. It does. But we’ll get through it right?”

“We’ll figure something out. Together.” He placed his hand on your thigh and the two of you looked out at the sunset, his touch lingering on your body until the sun disappeared behind the horizon. Silently, he helped you to your feet, and walked you to your car, making sure you got in okay, before he got into his car. On the drive home, your chest felt lighter from the conversation.

***

The final buzzer rang, signalling a 4-2 win for the Senators. You smiled at the scoreboard and gathered your papers. The game was nothing spectacular, but for you, it was a career defining game. Some of the lines you'd suggested were risky, but you had the numbers to back it up, and it worked. It worked. The conversation with Tim earlier last week helped with your confidence to take risks in terms of your analytic advice.

You went back to your office after the game, wanting to type up a report of how you impacted tonight's outcome. If it worked this time, who's to say it couldn't work again? But in a higher stakes game? You felt like you were finally contributing to the team, and damn, it felt good.

Your office was barely even that. It was small, but you had a desk, a window, and your name on the door. It was enough for your first major gig. You'd made it a little homey-er with a small succulent and some motivational quotes. You opened up your laptop and began to type up a document report. The words flowed from your fingers and you used the numbers you counted from the box to back up your findings. Time seemed to stand still as you typed, the document becoming longer and longer.

A knock broke your train of thought and you looked up to see Tim poking his head through your office door. He had a shy smile on your face and you shook the writing haze out of your eyes.

"Hey! Come on in," He nodded, closing the door behind him before leaning against the wall. "You played a good game." His cheeks flushed and he lifted his hat, running his fingers through his hair.

"Thanks, thank you. Anyway, did you eat yet?"

"I mean, I had an iced coffee before the game and a granola bar during the second period. So yeah?" Immediately he started shaking his head and he pushed himself away from the wall. You open your hands as if to say 'what’?" and he outstretched his hand to you.

"Coffee and a granola bar isn't a meal. Let's go get some real food, I'm hungry." He made a grabby hand with his outstretched hand and you sighed.

"I have to finish my report, I can't." He sighed, pushed your laptop shut, and grabbed your hand.

"That can wait. Besides, the boys went out and I need a ride home." He flashed you a shy smile and you rolled your eyes, before picking up your bag and leaving your office with him. You tried not to notice how Tim was still holding onto your hand, but as he tugged you along to a quiet area of the concourse, it was difficult to do. He stopped at a small table with two bar stools. He let go of your hand, cold enveloping you, and you hung your bag on the back of the chair. As you hopped onto the chair, he stayed standing, tapping his fingers on the tabletop.

“What do you want to eat?" When you shook your head again, he pulled out his puppy dog eyes. "Tim, seriously, I'm fine."

"I'm getting some fries and you will eat some of them. Deal?" Your face pulled into a frown and he repeated himself. "Deal?"

"Yes, Mom, deal."

He gave himself a self assured smile. "Great. I'll be right back."

A few minutes later he came back with a container of fries and two small containers. He set them down in front of you before he got seated. A closer look at the container showed one was ketchup and the other was…

"Is this mayo?" He picked up a fry, dipped it in the white substance, and popped it into his mouth. With his mouth full, he nodded. "You eat your fries with mayonnaise?"

"You don't?"

"No!" You shook your head. He took another fry, dipped it again, and ate it.

"You have to try it, it's good!"

“No, no thank you. You can keep your weird German eating habits to yourself." You laughed, dipping a fry in ketchup before eating it.

"Nope, you've got to try one. Please?" You scrunched up your nose, and he held out a white coated french fry. You gave in, taking it from his hands and shoving it in your mouth. You chewed it slowly, contemplating the taste.

"It's...not horrible." He raised his eyebrows at you. "Fine, it's alright." He gave you another look, a small smile forming on his face despite his efforts to hide it. "Okay, okay, I like it. Happy?" He let out a loud laugh.

"Yes! I knew you'd like it!" You laughed a little with him, before dipping another fry in the mayo and popped it in your mouth. The two of you ate in silence, the sounds of the zamboni in the background.

"Why didn't you go out with the guys? You had a good game,"

He shrugged. "I wanted something quieter. Besides, I was hungry and the guys wanted to go out to a bar. Bar food isn't exactly a meal."

"Neither is french fries,"

"Well, maybe, you're just better company than the guys."

"Damn right, I am." You smiled, tapped his fry with yours in a makeshift sort of 'cheers' way. When the two of you had finished your snack, you picked up the container and threw it in the compost bin near the table. You grabbed your bag off the chair, holding up your car keys. He got up off the table, joining you in a slow walk towards the parking lot.

You wished the custodians a good night as the two of you left the arena, the street lights in the parking lot illuminating the way to your car. Silently, you unlocked the car and you both got in. You gave him your phone, telling him to pick any playlist he wanted while you started the car. He picked one of your favourite playlists, a mix of relaxing beats and soft music, which was perfect for late night drives.

"You should have some lo-fi on here, it's a lot like this. I think you'd like it," he said, after you had merged onto the highway.

"Yeah?" He only nodded, allowing a comfortable silence to come back to the car. The rest of the drive was easy, the road being mostly empty and the music filling the car. He gave you quiet directions to the house, more points and here's than actual directions but you were able to find it.

"Thank you for the ride," He said, once you’d put the car in park.

"Thanks for sharing your food with me,” He shook his head and smiled at you, the corners of his eyes crinkling.

“I’ll always share with you.” You caught his gaze, his brown eyes filled with sincerity. You could feel your cheeks flush and you waved him out of your car.

“I gotta get home too, you know.” You joked and he got out, popping his head back into the doorway for a second.

“Text me when you get home, yeah?” You murmured an ‘of course’ and he nodded, closing the car door and making his way to his front door. You waited until he entered the house before you drove away, turning on a lo-fi playlist from Spotify.

***

“Your turn to pick the movie, but no subtitles please, I’m too lazy to read today.” You handed Tim the remote for his TV while you pulled the blanket closer to your chin. The October chill had settled in his apartment and you hadn’t dressed for his room to feel like the arena.

“Jimmy!” Someone called from the kitchen and a loud clang dissolved any annoyance Tim had from his roommate interrupting his time with you. He rushed to the kitchen and you followed behind shyly. There were platters across the kitchen island, each with a different coloured dish. It looked like there was a salad, a couple casserole dishes, and some plates of desserts. A taller brunette was standing in the kitchen, frantically gesturing between Tim and a pot on the stove. There was a lid on the ground, a splatter of pinkish red liquid surrounding it. You entered the kitchen, picked up the lid before placing it in the sink. The other guy was still explaining to Tim what exactly he wanted to do, even though his head was tilted like a confused puppy. You brushing him aside llightly, grabbing the spoon Tim was holding to stir the pinkish red liquid on the stove. You sent him a small smile back over your shoulder and all you could see in his eyes was relief.

“Thank you!” The oven beeped and you noticed an embroidered #9 on the roommate's Senator sweats. You moved to the side to allow him to get another baking dish from the oven. He placed it on the stovetop and took off his oven mitts. “Thank you for doing that. I didn’t think he’d be that helpless in the kitchen.”

“I’m surprised anyone in this house can actually cook,” You laughed. The liquid that smelled of oranges and cranberries started to boil, so you reduced the heat and continued to stir it. You look at the baking dish that he brought out of the oven. “Are those brussel sprouts?”

“Yeah! My mom’s recipe; they’re delicious! Do you like them?”

“They’re one of my favourites! My recipe uses bacon though.”

“Oh nice! You’ll have to share it with me, I’d love to try it. And, sorry, I didn’t introduce myself. I’m Josh,”

“I know.” He shot you a look and you backtracked. “I-Sorry, it’s just-I actually work with you? I’m in the analytics department, so I know your jersey number and I saw it on your sweats and put two and two together. I’m not being a creep, I’m sorry.” The sound of laughter behind you made you blush.

“Not being a creep my ass. They did the same thing when me and Jimmy ran into them for the first time!” Brady commented, walking into the kitchen. He was wearing a nice pair of dress pants and a button up shirt. You shook your head before nodding towards his attire.

“Going somewhere nice?” He looked down at his outfit and shook his head.

“It’s Thanksgiving? It’s why they gave us the day off?” That...that would explain the amount of food in the kitchen. No matter how many years you lived here, you’d always forgotten that Canadian Thanksgiving was a whole month earlier. You placed the stir spoon on a plate next to the pot and wiped your hands on your pants.

“Oh! Um, right, well, uh in that case, I should be, I should get going. You guys must have plans. Nice to meet you Josh.” You made your way out of the kitchen to the foyer where your coat and shoes were without so much as a goodbye to the guys. You could hear Tim coming after you, his steps lighter and more graceful than Brady or Josh’s. But, he didn’t make a move to do anything except stare at you as you got ready to leave. It wasn’t until you were getting ready to put on your shoes that he spoke.

“You should just stay. We’ve got lots of food.”

“Oh, I don’t want to intrude…”

“Brady’s bringing his girlfriend and a couple other of the guys are coming over. You wouldn’t be intruding.”

“I really shouldn’t…”

“You should. Why won’t you stay?”

“I don’t know if you have this holiday in Germany, but Thanksgiving is a family thing, Tim.” You sighed. “Besides, shouldn’t I have brought something? Am I even dressed okay?” You looked down at your outfit - a simple pair of jeans and one of your comfiest graphic tees. He shrugged.

“Don’t worry about that. You look great, just enjoy the night with me. Stay? Please? C’mon schatz, you’re like my family to me.” The two of you maintained eye contact until you broke it and took off your coat. You could see Tim’s smile widen and when it came to walking back into the kitchen, he extended his arm. You took it and the two of you made your way back towards what would end up being a wonderful evening full of laughs and smiles shared between friends.

***

You had come over for a trashy reality TV binge after a particularly hard day at work. None of the numbers were adding up the way you needed them to and your laptop was having a hissy-fit all day. Soon enough, you called it a day and texted Tim, telling him you’d be over in twenty minutes. He greeted you at the door with your favourite chocolate treat, a box of Timbits, and “there’s popcorn in the microwave right now, it’s almost done”. You could’ve melted right on the spot. Instead, you made your way over to the couch where you collapsed and pulled the blanket he had already set out for you up to your chin. You breathed in the smells of pine and sock tape and felt your body relax. HGTV played in the background while you waited for him to bring the popcorn out when his phone dinged.

“Tim, your phone!” You yelled to him from across the living room.

“Who is it?” You sighed and moved from your comfortable spot on the couch to check his messages. You turned on the phone to see a message from Josh, saying he’s five minutes away. You went to lock the phone, seeing the unimportance of the message but something caught your eye. You swiped to clear the notification and his background came into focus. It was the two of you standing in front of the Ottawa sign at ByWard market, his arm around your shoulders and a grin on both your faces.

“Who was it?” He entered the room as he repeated his question.

“Just Josh,” you whispered, turning around to face him holding up his phone. “Am I your lock screen?” He blushes, opening his mouth stammering for words. “I am! I knew I was important to you.” You poked him a couple times for an extra tease when his face settled into a small pout and he retaliated by tickling you. You shrieked and hopped up from the couch, laughing as he chased you around the house.

“Stop doing that!” He laughed as you escaped his clutches once more. Your laugh echoed through the house as he tried again to try to tickle you, but you grabbed Josh and used him as a human shield.

“No fair schatz,” He relented his tickling and sat on the couch. You took a seat beside him, but kept your distance in case he decided to start his torture again.

“You know, you’ve never told me what that means,” You look over to him and he’s already scratching the back of his neck.

“What what means?”

“That thing you keep calling me. Like shats?”

Josh laughed and spoke up. “It means swe-”

“Friend! It means friend!” Tim interrupted loudly, his cheeks rosy. “It means friend.” You raised your eyebrows at his outburst and his explanation.

“You call your friends, ‘friend’?”

He scratched at his jaw and slowly nodded. “In my city, it’s common for friends to just call each other ‘friend’. It’s normal,” You managed out a ‘okay’ between breathy laughs, wondering why he was being so strange about it. It was just a nickname. But the blush in his cheeks didn’t diminish until well after Josh left the room, muttering under his breath about ‘idiots’, and you couldn’t help but think that maybe it meant more than Tim was letting on.

***

“Are you going to be at the gala on Saturday?” Tim asked you as the two of you ate (lunch for you, pre-practice snack for him) on the concourse. It was your first concourse snack since the All-Star break and you had missed him. WhatsApp messages and Instagram messages just weren’t the same as being in his presence. You finished your bite, and shook your head.

“It’s only for players isn’t it?”

“Would you want to come with me?”

“Like...as a date?” You looked up at him, your eyes wide. Maybe this was the clue you were waiting for.

“As friends?” Your eyes darted down onto the counter and Tim took that as a sign you didn’t want to go with him. “There’ll be puppies there.”

“Well,” you swallowed the lump in your throat, “If there’s going to be puppies, I need no more convincing.” You forced a smile onto your face and he returned the sentiment, before finishing up the food. You wished him good luck before the game, and left to go the the box.

Soon enough, it was Saturday night and you found yourself in front of the Fairmont Château. You gazed up at the stone walls and admired how the orange glow from the lights gave it such a warm feeling, compared to the shivers that were going up and down your back. You had found time to go and get a fancy outfit for the night, its gold fabric being a perfect fit on your body. Tim had told you he’d meet you inside, so walked upt the steps alone, avoiding the other guests in fancy attire. They looked like they belonged here. You couldn't relate. The front entrance of the hotel was exactly as you expected -- it had marble floors, crown moldings, and a domed ceiling. You followed the chatter to one of the conference rooms, someone offering to check your coat. With just your clutch, you entered the ballroom with the sound of your shoes following you.

You looked around to try to find Tim among the executives, easily spotting him when you heard Brady’s booming laugh in the corner. You made your way over to the group, including Brady, Josh, Drake, Tim and some respective dates. Josh waved at you and Tim turned around to see you walking towards him.

Tim stood there, memorized by the way the Senators gold fabric hugged your figure and the way your eyes had lit up when you saw one of the puppies. You came over to him, brushing his arm before joining the group. Hellos were thrown your way and it wasn’t long before everyone went back to their conversations and you were able to speak with Tim.

“You look handsome." You handed him your clutch, which he held unashamedly, as you adjusted his gold bowtie, letting your hands linger on the front of his chest. You gulped before snapping out of your trance and took your clutch back from him.

“Um, uh, thanks. You look...good too,” His voice was breathy and his cheeks had flushed a little. You smiled at him, before noticing another golden retriever stumbling around next to its trainer and darting off to pet it. Tim watched you go and he stood back, blown away by the way his heart was beating faster and how he couldn’t seem to get enough air into his lungs.

“You finally figured it out, huh?” He turned around at Drake’s voice. He had recognized the look on Tim’s face, it was the same one he had when he looked at his partner. Tim furrowed his eyebrows.

“Figured what out?”

Drake scoffed and took a gulp of his drink. “God, you already know and you’re denying it. You’re in love with them.” Tim shook his head, waving off the thought. You were his best friend, nothing more. “C’mon man, you can keep lying to yourself but it’s obvious to everyone else.” He was then swept away by a reporter, leaving Tim to his thoughts.

He wasn’t in love with you. He was sure of it. You were his best friend, his safe spot. It’s not like when he sees you his heart beats faster or he notices how your eyes crinkle when you laugh or when the sun hits your skin just right, you look like an angel. It’s not like the more he looks at your lips the more he wants to know if they taste like your sweet honey lip chap. It’s not like your smile could cure his darkest days or that he could see himself introducing you to his family as his partner.

Except it was like that.

Tim saw all of that with you. He saw more galas, more late night drives, lazy Sunday mornings. He wanted to see you after his games, not in your office, but in the tunnel where you’d be wearing his jersey and a special jean jacket. He wanted to take you home to meet his family, his hometown friends. He wanted to show you all the places that were special to him, just as you showed his places special to you. He wanted to meet Dani and see if she thought he was good enough to be your partner. As he stared at you petting the small golden pup, he realized Drake was right. He was in love with you.

He was in love with his best friend.

Fuck, what was he supposed to do now?

You didn’t give him too much time to think about that as you came up behind him, telling him everything about the golden retriever you just met. He smiled at you, and motioned with his head to find your seats as dinner was going to be served soon. You sat next to him, your leg brushing against his under the table. Even from that, he got shocks-- tiny lightning bolts trailing up his body. It was like every sense was heightened after he came to the realization that he loved you. How am I supposed to even act around them? He thought.

The meal passed without issue and while Tim went about schmoozing all the executives and donors, you stick with the other halves. You had already met Emma, Brady’s partner, and she introduced you to Dakota, Briar, and Marissa (she had also told you who they came with but that information had not stuck with you).

“Sooo… Emma, how’s the wedding planning going?” Briar asked. She had gotten engaged over the holiday break. She laughed and waved off the question.

“Oh, not at all! We’re just enjoying being engaged, it’s like the honeymoon phase all over again,”

“Just like you and Tim,” Dakota nudged you and wiggled her eyebrows. You coughed on your drink at her statement.

“What?” You managed to sputter. Emma looked uncomfortable but didn’t say anything. “What do you mean, like me and Tim?”

“Oh come on, it’s so obvious the two of you are in your honeymoon phase! Don’t be ashamed of it, you’re such a cute couple!”

“Ooh yes!! How his bowtie matched your outfit is like goals, I wish my boyfriend did that with me,” Marissa mentioned. Your voice felt caught in your throat and you were instantly aware of the breeze in the room and the sweat on the back of your neck.

“We’re just friends,” Your voice was small.

“I’ll believe that when pigs fly, babe. Oh, look, here comes your man.” Dakota winked at you before turning into her own date. You turn around quickly to see him walking over to you, laughing with Brady and Josh. Normally, the sight of him would calm you down. He was such a genuine person and you appreciated how you never had to shrink yourself to fit in with him. But with the girls’ comments, you suddenly couldn’t be around him. When his hand met the small of your back, you flinched before relaxing into his touch. It was just Tim, your Tim. It’s not a big deal unless you make it a big deal.

“Timmy, I was just telling Y/n what a cute couple you two are!”

“Well, what do they say? Oh right, they complete me,” He sent you a wink and pulled you closer to his side. You went stiff in his hold, and he noticed, instantly letting you out of his grip. You muttered out an excuse about work and said quick goodbyes to the group before you were out of the gala as fast as your shoes could allow. Your cheeks were hot with...embarrassment? No, that wasn’t quite it. But they were hot, and the room felt small with Dakota’s teasing so just needed to escape. You needed to have fresh air in your lungs, needed to feel the cool Ottawa air on your arms. Needed to be somewhere other than beside him and his light teasing that left your stomach in knots.

But you hadn't even reached the front door and grabbed your coat from the coat check when Tim caught up to you. He watched you try to put on your coat, as he rocked back and forth on his heels like that first day you met.

“Do you… do you actually have work in the morning or were you just saying that?” You looked up and met his eyes, the orbs holding a certain vulnerability you hadn’t seen before.

“I got called at the last minute. I forgot to tell you, Jody’s kid got sick so I’m covering the game on Sunday but I haven’t prepared my notes or anything and you know me, I’ve got to be prepared or I won’t make a coherent analysis and then I’m really in trouble-” Tim cut your rambling off with a murmur of your name and you slowed your frantic movements to look at him.

“We’re okay, right?”

You smiled at him before you walked out the glass door. “Yeah, we’re alright.”

***

Last night was confusing to say the least. You could still feel the heat in your cheeks from...embarrassment? No, it wasn’t that. It was more like you couldn’t stand around to see what he meant by his comment. You couldn’t stand around why everyone else say you as a couple when you knew you weren’t. But you were okay with not being a couple weren’t you?

It’s like not you liked him that way. Yeah, a simple smile from him could turn your day around and your concourse snacks were the highlight of your week. But that’s because he was your best friend. It’s not like you wanted to spend every morning waking up to him or spend your afternoons running your fingers through his hair. It’s not like you wanted to take him back to Seattle to meet Dani or how you wanted to wear his jersey to call him yours. It’s not like you daydreamed about him gently holding your hand as you walked through ByWard market or how soft his lips would be as he leaned in to kiss you or what his abs felt like without a shirt separating your fingers from his skin.

Except it was like that.

And then came the comment at the gala. Did that mean he liked you too? But he said you were just going as friends. Did he mean it platonically? What if you read things wrong? Fuck, why were feelings so complicated?

Dani, you needed to call Dani. She’d know what to make of all this. She picked up on the fourth ring. “Thanks for calling Books By The Ocean, may you please hold?”

“Dani, it’s me.” Hold music filled your ear and you rolled your eyes. A few minutes later, there was almost certainly a hole in your rug from your pacing and she finally picked up.

“Why’d you resort to calling the store? I would’ve answered my phone eventually,”

“Yeah, eventually. I just really need to talk to you now,”

“Okay, so what’s up?”

“There’s this guy…”

“Is it Tim? Please tell me it’s Tim.” When you didn’t answer, she rejoined before reeling it in and telling you to continue.

“Anyways...we’re pretty good friends, I've known him since like the start of the season, and I don’t know, like I think he likes me? And I mean, I like him, he’s really great but, like, I just-”

“Can you get to the point please?”

“I want to take the next step with him. I want to be more than friends with him. I want all those things but… I just seem frozen. Like when I think about telling him, my body feels like it won’t move. It feels like I’m underwater. But I want to do more with him. I want that. Why won’t my brain get that and let me… I don’t know, let me act on my feelings?”

“You’re protecting yourself. You’ve never got hurt before,” You scoffed at her statement.

“What do you mean, of course I have,”

“Okay, sure, when you scraped your knee or when Nancy Peters called you dumb in second grade but you haven’t got hurt before. You haven’t opened yourself up to someone and let someone into your heart and let them see you for who you are.”

“Well, yeah, okay, but that’s because they might not like what they see,”

She sighed. “You can’t go through life with your walls up, kiddo. It’s hard, but you have to trust yourself. You have to let yourself feel. You have to let people in. When we were little and moved around a lot, maybe it was a survival tactic. But you’ve been in Ottawa for close to five years now and have unpacked all your boxes? Have you had any friends over? You’ve put down roots there but you’re still holding onto a survival tactic when you need to be living, not just surviving.

“I let people in--”

“No. You don’t. Has Tim ever been in your apartment? Has he seen that even though you resent Mom, you still have family photos of the four of us in your living room? Does he know about Dad? You might have told him stuff but you’re still living behind walls.” She sighed.

“Look, I don’t mean to be hard on you, but I want to see you thrive kiddo. I want you to experience life, and yeah, hurt is a part of life. You aren’t doing life right if you come out unscathed. And sure, maybe he’s a great friend. But in some instances, that romantic partner can fill a more emotionally secure place. People usually place more trust in their partner than just a friend. You’ve got to open up to him more than you already have if you want more from him.”

“How do I do that?”

“You’ve got to figure that out on your own kiddo, but it probably wouldn’t hurt to talk to him. Honestly; no hiding behind your friendship.” You nodded to her advice, before realizing she couldn’t see you, and thanked her for her help. She hung up with the promise to chat again on Wednesday like you normally did. You threw your phone beside the sink and leaned your head against the cool counter.

Be honest with him

Okay, you could do that. Easy enough right? You just had to make a plan to tell him. You could do that.

***

You were walking through the halls close to the bench to deliver your latest stats to the coach. It was your job after the other analysts determined you “had the youngest feet” and could go scouring around to find the coach. You didn’t mind. Besides… if you just happened to bump into Tim while you were down here, well then that was a completely unplanned coincidence. Since the gala and your chat with Dani afterwards, you were feeling good about where you stood with Tim. And you’d made your plan. After the game, you’d meet up for after-game snacks like most home games and you had told yourself you’d talk to him then.

You had given the latest report to the coach on the bench, walking past the locker room towards the box when you heard Tim's voice.

“...I don’t know man, I just need a break from Y/n.” You stopped in your tracks. It wasn’t that you meant to be nosy, but at the mention of your name… you wanted to see what else he had to say. You hadn’t meant to smother him but you guess he saw it differently. Your shoulders dropped and you bit your lip.

“I only have a problem around them!” You could feel the breakfast in your stomach start to turn, the feeling of bile starting to rise up. A ringing started to fill your ears, the white static noise only being pieced by his once comforting voice.

“It’s just… We work together, you know? It’s awkward,” Where was this attitude when you were hanging out at the start of the season? Last week? If this is how he felt, why didn’t… what did he mean by his comment to Dakota?

His voice shook you out of your trance. “Like at the end of the day, I’m me… they pay me a lot to play my game and they’re...them.” At that, you rushed away from earshot. If that was how he really felt, then screw him. If he was the hockey star and you were just the analyst, then that’s what role you’d play. Nothing more, nothing less. And he wasn’t brave enough to say that to your face, you’d say it first.

This is why you didn’t open yourself up. If you were going to get hurt either way, it might as well be the least damaging option.

Over the next few games and practices, you kept your distance from the players. You avoided the bench, sending Jody to give reports to the coach. You kept your office door closed, the blinds closed, and you made sure to time your exits of the arena to avoid Tim. If avoiding him meant you avoided the inevitable conversation where he would tell you your flaws and point out every way you misread things, then you would do that.

After you heard that, you stopped going out of your way to pass by the boys in the arena. You went into your office, closed the door, and didn’t leave until you went home. When you had to sit in the stands for practices, you sat higher than you used to and ignored the waves and stared you got from the team. He sent the occasional text but you replied with an im busy too many times that he stopped trying. It was odd to you how he kept reaching out when he was the one who said he needed a break but you ignored that voice in your head.

It was a Friday when he finally confronted you. You had been so close to leaving the arena, just one more hallway, and you would’ve been out the door and into the parking lot. He had called your name and you tried to turn the corner without him but he caught up easily, grabbing your wrist to get you to stay.

“What’s up? It feels like I haven’t seen you in forever,” He let go of your wrist as you turned to face him.

“Well that’s what happens when you’re a bigshot NHL player and I’m a lowly analyst.” He squinted his eyes and furrowed his eyebrows at your statement.

“What?”

“Look, I don’t-- I don’t think we should be friends anymore,”

He slowly nodded, thinking your words over in his head. “Okay. Um...I think… yeah, that could be good. I don’t think we should be just friends either.” He shot you a shy smile with a spark of hope in his eyes but you frowned.

“Good. It’s settled then.” You turned on your heel and walked away from him, only wiping your teary eye once you had rounded the corner, refusing to let him see you cry. You missed the way he frowned as you retreated.

The weekend was spent in bed, repeat episodes of Loki playing in the background. Loki never hurt you the way Tim had, the way his words dug into your insecurities of being alone creating a wound like no other. You had turned your phone off earlier as it kept buzzing with messages from him. You didn’t want to hear his excuses of why and you didn’t want to explain that you’d overheard his conversation. But the season wasn’t over yet so you gave yourself two days to grieve. When Monday morning came, it was like nothing had ever happened.

Tim caught you in the main entrance way at the rink. It was close to 8am and you knew he didn’t have practice until 11, so it was obvious he was waiting for you. You walk right past him until he softly calls your name and you stop walking, but don’t turn around. “Why are you ignoring me?”

“You know why.” You whipped around and scoffed at him. “And you know what else? If you had a problem with me, you could’ve just said something. You didn’t have to keep hanging out with me.”

“What?”

“I think we should just keep this professional, 18. I’m nothing more than a background analyst to your hockey superstar, so let’s just stick to our jobs, yeah?”

“What are you talking about?”

“We work together, we shouldn’t be friends, you said it yourself. It’ll be better this way. Now, please, just leave me alone.” You brushed by him, bumping your shoulder with his, and you missed the way his jaw fell open at how quickly your relationship seemed to change.

He seemed to leave you alone after that. He didn’t check in and he didn’t send funny memes he found. He didn’t text you to tell you he landed safely on road trips and you didn’t congratulate him on a game well played. You could tell Brady and Josh thought it was weird but didn’t say anything, just gave you pitying looks when you passed by or caught their eye in the halls.

The Senators failed to clinch a playoff spot, thanks to an overtime loss to Winnipeg. The end of the season for you was nice. It meant a shift in your work to more prospects, and thankfully, a more flexible work schedule. You didn’t have to go into the arena and most of the players went back to their hometowns to visit. It was supposed to be a reprieve for you, knowing Tim wasn’t even in the country. It was supposed to be relaxing, going to all the places that had helped you in the past to regroup your thoughts.

But instead, it felt suffocating, strolling through the market. You’d been here thousands of times to clear your head, but this time the deeper you walked, the more the thoughts in your head swirled into a hurricane.

You’d never know what home felt like. You’d had friends tell you it’s having like extended family over around the holidays or it’s the peacefulness they felt at their lake house. You thought you had found it in Ottawa, its quaintness and history bringing you a sense of calm you hadn’t had before. But only with Tim did you feel that inner peace that home felt like. Only with Tim did you feel like you could take on the world. Only with Tim did you feel whole.

And that was scary.

Feeling like one person could complete you, like they had a piece of your heart you didn’t know you gave them, was scary. You were used to being on your own. You’d done it throughout your levels of schooling and throughout the beginnings of your career. And all it took for that strength to come crashing down was a bashfully confident German hockey player.

He couldn’t even tell you why. It would’ve hurt more to hear the exact reasons why you weren’t good enough for him, but it would have quelled your mind from picking on every single insecurity your mind could come up with.

Before you knew it, you were staring at the Ottawa sign. You glanced around to see couples waiting for their turn at the sign. Some of the guys had their arms around the shoulders’ of their girlfriends. Some of the girls had their hands clasped in their girlfriends’. Some people had their arms around the waist of their partner. But they all had a smile on their face, a fondness that was reserved for the love of their life.

Your eye caught the sight of a backwards Senators cap and your head whipped around. The person was tall and was wearing a grey hoodie. The man turned to the side and you caught a glance of the brown tufts of hair that stuck out of the cap. He threw his head back and the corners of your mouth turned up. Tim’s laugh was always infectious, even if you were upset with him.

But it wasn’t him.

He hadn’t reached out since the day in the hallway. As much as you knew you didn’t want to hear him say things more hurtful than what you overheard, you couldn’t help but wonder where you went wrong. The what-ifs tumbled around in your head, the possibilities of why suddenly your friendship was too much for him.

As you stood there in the market, the memories racing through your mind mixed with images of happy couples all around you, you knew you had to get out. You don’t really remember the rush of leaving, all you know is that the city that felt big for so many years now felt too small. You can’t go anywhere without being reminded of him, his smile, his laugh. How his eyes glimmer from the light of a movie. You drove yourself to the airport, knowing there wasn’t going to be a cab this early in the morning.

Before you knew it, you were standing outside of the familiar blue painted bookstore with your duffle bag in your hands. It was raining and overcast in Seattle, which wasn’t unusual, but even the fat teardrops felt melancholic. The sign in the window said closed, but you knew Dani would be in the back, organizing new stock. You knocked on the window, the sound rattling through the worn building. A few seconds later, her head of light pink hair came to the door, opening it. Before she could question your presence, you spoke.

“He didn’t want me,” you cried. “He didn’t even see all of me and he didn’t want me.” You dropped your bag as she pulled you into a hug. One hand cradled the back of your head as she pulled you out of the rain and into the store. You inhaled her scent, a mix of sea salt and the old bookstore, and squeezed her tightly. When she released you from the hug, she tucked a piece of hair behind your ear, her fingers grazing down your jaw. She gave you a soft smile, before walking to the back of the store, where her apartment was. Your shoes squeaked against the old hardwood floors as you followed her towards the kitchen, where you could smell a pot of tea brewing.

She was silent as she poured you a cup, kissed your head, before whispering everything was going to work out. She slipped out of the room, giving you your space.

You didn’t even have to ask. Dani let you stay with her for the summer, as long as you helped out around the store when you weren’t doing your own work. She didn’t push you for details about Tim, she just let you be. You tried your best to be cheery around the customers but that facade only lasted so long. When you were alone, you didn’t try to hide the emptiness you felt there.

***

Too soon did the days start to get shorter, the nights colder, the pitter-patter of raindrops became more constant which meant fall was coming. The season was starting up again, and you had to head back to Ottawa. This summer at home was a nice break but you knew that running away wasn’t going to solve all your problems. You were packing when a text from Josh came in.

So when are you getting in?

i land at 9pm on the 20th. Why?

Can’t I wonder when my friend gets into the city?

we’re friends?

Of course we are Numbers! I don’t share family recipes with just anyone :)

good to know thanks :)

You continued packing, thinking about what he said. You knew the two of you were friends, but he was Tim’s teammate. His roommate. To hear him say, regardless of where you and Tim stand, that you two were still good was a relief. As much as you’ve enjoyed your time away from the city, you missed work. You missed sitting in the arena, a brisk chill over your shoulder, the sounds of scraping ice and whistles. You missed the quaintness of Ottawa and, as much as he’d never let you forget it, you missed Josh’s cooking. Nights with Dani didn’t compare to nights with Brady (and sometimes Emma) and Josh.

Dani parked in the loading zone of the airport. She got out of the car to help with your bag, even though you had only brought one.

“Hey, listen, um. I know you don’t want to talk about what happened with Tim but… I think you need to talk to him.”

“Dani...”

“No, listen. I think you need some closure. You ran away from a city you haven’t left in five years, a city you so obviously love, because it hurt to think about him. Maybe closure means you talk to him. Maybe it doesn’t. But you’ve spent this whole summer looking lost, like you’re waiting for something to magically appear and make everything better. You look like you’ve lost a piece of yourself and you don’t know how to get it back. And that’s not you, kiddo. It’s never been you; you’ve always been so straightforward and sure of yourself. I want you to feel like yourself again, that’s all.”

“What if…” You swallowed the lump in your throat. “What if the piece of me that I lost isn’t something I can get back?”

“Then you fill it. It might not be perfect and maybe you need lots of tape, and maybe you accept that there will be small cracks in it, but those holes make your souls yours. It’s a part of life, and you can’t avoid it no matter how hard you try.” You pulled her in for a hug, some of the tears in your eyes dropping onto her shoulder.

“Thank you Dani. For everything.” She pulled back to wipe the tears from your face, a smile on her face.

“You know I’m always here for you, kiddo. Take care of yourself, okay?” You nodded, knowing if you spoke again, more tears would bubble over. You walked towards the departures gate, walking towards the reality you ran from.

Several hours later, you were happy to be back in Ottawa. You had missed it, as much as it pained you when you were here. Tim Hortons, bilingual signs, friendly smiles, and oh god you could have real poutine again. Yeah, it was nice to be back.

Dani’s words mulled over in your head throughout the flight, and continued to as you made your way through the airport. She was right, maybe you needed closure. Accept what happened and move on. You’d lost friends when you graduated early, you’d lost friends when you moved away. You’d lost friends before and this was no different.

Except you knew deep down it was different. It was Tim; it was always going to be different with him.

You shook your head, as if to physically rid yourself of the thought. If Tim didn’t want to be around you, then you weren’t going to waste your time waiting for him to show up. You’d suck it up everything you had to look at a stat, but other than that you’d focus on work, focus on proving yourself in the company. You started to walk towards where you’d parked your car (without wondering how much the parking was), ignoring the happy reunions of students and families. You had been perfectly fine being in Ottawa on your own until you realized how much better it could be when you had someone.

A hand grasped your wrist and instantly, you turned around and ripped your arm from the stranger. You looked up, first to see a bouquet of flowers made up of peach roses, white tulips, and hydrangeas. Behind the colours of the flowers, you see a familiar face, eyes full of sorrow and hope. Even when you were ignoring him, he was still so easy to read.

“Number 18.” You struggled to keep your voice even, but you lifted your head to appear as if he had no effect on him.

“Hi Y/n,” He met your eyes, which you quickly darted away. “These are for you.” He tried to hand the bouquet to you, but you shook your head.

“How did you know when I got in?” The coldness in your voice surprised Tim, but he didn’t show it, swallowing slowly before answering you.

“Josh told me." You folded your arms, your hands gripping your bag in case you needed to get away from this conversation.

“Josh mentioned it or you asked Josh?” When he didn’t answer, you knew it was the latter and scoffed at his sneaky actions. You quickly turned away from him and moved faster towards the exit. You heard him sigh from behind you and before you could make a sly comment about it beneath your breath, he was ahead of you, blocking your way. You tried to side-step him, but hockey reflexes prevailed. You glared his way and tried again, silently begging him to move.

“C’mon, you have to talk to me sometime, we work together,” He commented.

“That’s exactly it. We work together. You’re the high and mighty NHL superstar and I’m the nerdy analyst. We have our places. They don’t mix, so really I don’t have to work with you at all. So, please, if you could just move, I have nothing else to say to you.” You tried once more to step around him, but he lightly grabbed your forearm to stop you.

“But I have stuff to say to you.”

“You had months to say it, so I’ll say it again, please let me by.” Suddenly, he was on his knees in the airport, the flowers still outstretched in his hands.

“Y/n,”

“What are you doing?” You hiss to him, your face darting around to see people starting to stare at Tim’s grand gesture.

“I need you to talk to me, and you won’t, so I’ll beg until you agree to hear me out,” You could feel more people staring, the shutter of camera phones, the eyes of everyone in the Ottawa airport (or what felt like it) easily making up your mind. There was a reason you were an analyst, away from the spotlight, doing your work behind the scenes.

“Get up,” you started to pull on his arm, but he just stayed anchored to the ground.

“You’ll talk to me?”

“18, I will do anything as long as you stop making a scene,” At this point, your cheeks felt as if you’d stood under the beating sun for an hour. He got up from his knees, the flowers still outstretched in his hands, and you let go of his arm. You grabbed the flowers from his arms, dropping them in a garbage bin as you stalked out of the airport. Tim caught up to you and walked by your side.

You said nothing as you reached your car, unlocking the doors. You didn’t even wait for him to have his seatbelt on before you were backing out of the stall and driving away. Thoughts were running wild in your head; you were angry and embarrassed at the stunt he pulled at the airport, appalled at the audacity he had to show up after what he said, and last of all you were reluctantly happy to be back in his presence again. So you went to the one place you knew you could think.

You put the car in park overlooking the suburbs. You turned it off and rested your arms on the steering wheel. You couldn’t make the effort to get out and walk to the lookout spot, the car creating a safe bubble for your thoughts.

“Why won’t you talk to me?” His soft voice broke the tense silence in the car and you scoffed.

“We’re not friends anymore. You’re the Senators star player and I’m just the nerdy analyst. There’s no reason for me to need to talk to you.”

“See, you keep saying that but I-I don’t get it! What does that even mean?” You furrow your eyebrows as you turn to face him, his own face scrunched up and his eyes hard.

“What do you mean you don’t get it? You said that! The last game against Montréal? I was walking past the locker room and… I overheard you talking with the guys.” You looked down to your lap, findling with your hands. You briefly saw Tim’s hand start to move towards you, but you shook your head and it stayed in his lap. “You said you needed a break from me. You said that ‘at the end of the day they pay me a lot to play my game and they’re.. them’. You said you had a problem with me. What was I supposed to take from that except that you didn’t want me to be in your life?”

He stammered for words but you cut him off. “No, I don’t think you understand how much it hurt. Hurt to have the one person who I thought understood me to talk behind my back about how I wasn’t enough for them. It hurt to know that the one person who I always wanted to talk to, didn’t want to talk to me. Hurt to think that you’ve only ever seen me as just some nerdy analyst who has no place in your life. I had been fine before, without you in my life, but then you came in and knocked down every barrier I ever had. And then left as if you didn’t just break my life into pieces!

“I left Ottawa because it hurt too much to go to all my favourite places, because I went there with you. I let you into my safe spaces, and when you left, you shattered that security. You tainted all the good I had there. I thought that Ottawa was home before I met you,” you scoffed. “Not even close. You feel like home to me. And for you to say that I was a problem in your life?” You shook your head at him and looked down at your hands. “I tried to get over it, believe me I did. But every single place I went I was reminded of you… and how everything we had didn’t feel like a big deal to you.”

“I never meant for that to happen.” His voice was quiet and strained, as if he was trying to keep his emotions within him.

“You know the hardest part? I didn’t just have to get over losing my best friend. I had to get over someone I fell in love with! I lost the single most important relationship with one tiny little passing conversation. And you acted like nothing happened! Like we were still friends, like you still cared for me-”

“Ich liebe dich du trottel!” His outburst caught you off guard and you gulped. His heavy breathing was the only sound in the car as you whispered.

“You know I don’t speak German…”

“You don’t need to know German to know what I said,” His eyes were hard, a look you had only seen during games.

“Oh.” You shook your head and looked at him. “Wait what?”

“I didn’t say those things you think I did! You didn’t listen to the whole thing! Brady was teasing me about me saying I don’t have a problem talking to people I like and I don’t normally but you’re the exception! I needed a break from you because everytime I see you, my heart starts beating faster and my hands get sweaty and I don’t know how to act! And the guys said that sounds like I’m in love with you-- and I am! I am! But when I finally started to do something about it, you ran away from me! I didn’t know what to do. Besides, if I fell in love with you...it could mess with our jobs. Because if for any reason, something happens, they’d fire you before they’d ever trade me. And you’ve worked too hard to have an opportunity like this be taken away from you because of me. So... I didn’t know what to do. And then you just kept ignoring me and saying those things about how you’re just a nerdy analyst…. It felt like we weren’t on the same page anymore and I didn’t know where it came from or what to do either so I tried to give you space. But then you shut me out. And you said we shouldn’t be friends. So I thought that meant.... you wanted to be more than friends? And the boys were saying that you being mean to me was just you having a hard time having feelings for me but then you… uh, yelled at me so I left you alone. But that doesn’t mean I stopped thinking about you.” He placed one of his hands on top of your tentatively, giving you the option to shoo his hand away. When you didn’t, he rubbed the skin on top of your hand. “It never meant I stopped caring about you.”

He sighed. “I guess I see now that I should not have given you space. I should’ve been better for you because that’s what you deserve.”

“I could’ve been better too, this isn’t all your fault. I said some mean things.”

“I promise you, that when we’re together I’m not a NHL player. I’m just me… just Tim from Germany who likes hockey. You have always seen me for who I am, and that’s...that’s something I love about you.”

Your breath got caught in your throat. Love… was a big word. Love was for confident people. Love was for those who didn’t understand the weight of that four letter word. Love wasn’t a word you threw around. Love was scary. It asked you to place your bandaged heart in someone else’s hands and hope they didn’t drop it, shattering the pieces into smithereens. Love meant letting down those walls that time and time again had proved that needed to stay up. To protect you. To avoid the heartache of broken trust.

And here he was, throwing that word around as if the implications didn’t matter. As if he didn’t leave. As if he didn’t call you a problem. As if he didn’t know the months you spent trying to forget him and the fragments he left behind.

As if he still wasn’t understanding.

“I… I can’t do this.” You go to open the car door only for it to lock. You gasp, and you whip your head around, your eyes sharp. “This is my car, you can’t do that!” His eyes went wide and you tried again, only for it to be locked again. You gritted your teeth and he spoke before you could reprimand him again.

“Don’t shut me out again! You say you can’t do this, okay, but tell me why. We’re supposed to-to talk to each other! We would’ve had no mess if you had just talked to me after you heard what I said! So.. talk to me,” You met his soft eyes, your resolve breaking with just one look. “Please, schatz.”

You slowly pulled your hand off the handle, letting it fall into your lap. You picked at your fingernails while trying to compose your thoughts, Tim’s concerned eyes never leaving you. He murmured your name and you took a deep breath, steadying yourself.

“I’m sorry I just- I don’t know if I can jump back into where we were. I know that… it’s different than I thought but I can’t-” you cut yourself off before you said something you regret and a cold chill ran through you. “It still hurts. I can’t just unhear those things you said. Especially when they came from you. So, I’m going to need time to process everything.”

He placed one of his hands over your fidgeting fingers and you lifted your head to meet his soft eyes. “I’ll give you some space. Just let me know when you know, yeah?” Before you could nod your head, he had opened his door and got out of your vehicle. You quickly got out to question him.

“What are you doing?” He turns around at the sound of your voice.

“I’m… I’m giving you space?”

“How are you planning to get home? Uber?” He shrugged before nodding, with his hands stuffed in his pockets. “Uh, no. No. Get in.” He raised his eyebrows and you sighed. “It’s almost 11pm, we’re in a dark forestry area, and you are the least threatening person I know. I’m not going to let you get stabbed by some murder psycho; you still mean something to me, you know.”

At that he came over to the car, and the two of you got settled back into your seats. After you buckled up and started the engine, Tim broke his silence.

“Did you mean that? That I still mean something to you?”

You swallowed slowly and took a while to answer his question, your hand resting on the gear shift. You put the car in reverse, and looked over at him. “You’re always going to mean something to me. Just what exactly you are changes.” You backed out of the parking lot and started the drive to his place. He was quiet for a few minutes, pondering your answer, but when he spoke his voice had the quiet confidence he always carried around with him.

“Can I ask what I am right now?” Streetlights illuminated his face and out of the corner of your eye you see him slightly turned towards you, his face unsure.

“No. I’ll keep you updated?”

“Good enough.”

The rest of the drive back to his house was quiet, aside from the lo-fi beats you had playing in the background. Despite the tension, the drive felt comfortable. When you parked in front of his house, he cleared his throat.

“Um, thank you for the ride. I’ll see you around I guess,” He unbuckled his seat belt and placed his hand on the handle.

“Goodnight Tim.” Despite your smile, Tim really hoped your goodnight didn’t also mean goodbye. He got out of your car, walked up the steps to his door, unlocked it and gave you a small wave before he went inside.

Tim was true to his word. He gave you space. He didn’t go back to the lookout spot or the war memorial, knowing those were your sanctuaries before they were his. He didn’t ask for updates, he didn’t stop by your office, he didn’t ask Josh how you were doing.

And you appreciated it. The time and space left you alone with your thoughts and you often visited the lookout spot or the war memorial, trying to find some peace, but those spots were now shared with Tim. So, for the first time in a long time, you spent time in your apartment.

When you moved in, you hadn’t done anything to the place. Spaces were temporary in your experience. It was more hassle than it was worth to try to make the space your own if, in a year everything was a clean slate. But Dani was right. It had been close to six years now since you moved in. Six years. You had a stable job, you had friends here, it was time to accept that maybe this was more than temporary.

You started by unpacking the last few boxes that were stacked in the hallway. You replaced the command hooks hanging your picture frames with nails. You got new paint to liven up the living room from the basic beige it was before. You put the work into making your apartment really yours. You had to stop living behind walls and this was a first step.

The next step was to really open up.

***

You were waiting outside the dressing room for Tim to get out. You came down as soon as practice finished so you knew you wouldn’t miss him. You leaned against the cool concrete, trying to control your bouncing leg. He was one of the last out of the dressing room and you shyly smiled at the other players who left. When he came out, you popped off from the wall and stood in front of him.

“Do you still want to know why I picked hockey?” You could tell your question caught him off guard but he nodded nonetheless. “You had asked and I brushed it off...because it hurt to think about. Because it was my dad...He loved hockey. Everywhere we went, there was a team he could cheer for, but he always wished that his hometown team would win, no matter how bad they were. He took me to a game once. I had asked why he liked it so much, it was cold and loud and people were drunk and I’m pretty sure our team was losing. We were down in the crowd and he said to me, ‘Hockey is this great sport. It connects people. It creates families right before your eyes. Enemies can become teammates. This...this sport can be a family for you, anywhere you go. I hope one day you can find something that does the same thing for you.’ Two weeks later, he had a heart attack. So, I held onto the one thing that he found belonging in. I liked my math, it made sense, and I’m good at it. But when it came to doing something with my life, I just- I wanted something to make my dad proud of me, you know? I wanted to feel connected to him.”

Tim was silent but he pulled you into a hug, your head going into the crook of his neck. His arms went around your waist and he held you for a minute. “Your dad would be proud of you. I know he would. Why’d you tell me now though?”

“Well, friends share personal stuff, right?” You pulled away from the hug just enough to catch his eyes. You looked up at him hopefully, and he smiled.

“Yeah, they do.” He broke the hug, but kept an arm slung over your shoulder. “C’mon, friends also eat brussel sprouts for each other.” You laughed at his distaste for them and the two of you walked out the parking lot together, his arm still slung around your shoulders.

***

You looked up at the ceiling, your bedsheets twisted beside you. It had been about two weeks since you told Tim about your dad, and since then, the two of you had been exchanging texts daily. It felt familiar, even though both of you knew it was different. Not a bad different, just… different. You’d been over to his place a couple times and he came over for your place for a ‘welcome back’ dinner.

You were nervous to show him your apartment, but you knew you had grown into the space. It was no longer generic beige walls and command strips. The living room had an accent wall and you put nails in the wall to hang your family photos in the hallway. Tim took his time looking around your space, spending extra time in the hallway. He stopped in front of the picture of your family, all four of you, and smiled.

“My parents are coming into town when we play the Caps in December, if you want to meet them?” He had said when you sat down to eat. You sputtered your drink a little and set down the glass.

“Only if...you meet Dani when we go to Seattle in January?” His face broke into a grin and he nodded.

“I’d love that.” The rest of the dinner had no issues, just two friends catching up and getting familiar with each other again.

But he wanted you to meet his parents. He wanted you to meet the people who raised him, his family. And you didn’t have any hesitations. You wanted to meet the people who made Tim who he is.

This past week solidified that you knew what you wanted. You wanted to meet Tim’s family, you wanted to show him around Seattle, you wanted to be with him. If he still wanted to be with you.

If.

He had been pretty clear where he stood on his feelings, but the voice in the back of your mind taunted you with that one tiny two letter word. He might have seen how you reacted, how unstable you were, and how you weren’t ready to jump into things as a sign you didn’t want this. He could’ve taken your steps to being friends again as being just friends again. He could’ve-

You weren’t going to wait around to let what-if’s and might of’s and could’ve’s waft around in your head. You needed to talk to him, needed to see him. So in your pajama pants and a hoodie, you braved the Canadian night and drive to his house. You parked the car, rather haphazardly, but it could wait. You skipped a step walking up to his door and quickly phoned him.

You paced back and forth on the small porch as the phone rang three times before he picked up.

“Hallo?” His accent was thicker in his native language, the harsh constants sounding so soft from his lips.

“Can you come open the door?”

“What?”

“I’m outside. Can you open the door?”

“What? It’s like...early,”

A sigh escapes you. “Tim. I know. I know now.”

“Well if you looked at a clock before you left your place, you would’ve known earlier. That would’ve-”

“Tim.” You gulped and your voice trembled slightly. “I’m ready. I know what I want.” The tone of your voice dropped its lightheartedness and that alone was enough to shake the sleep from his mind. But your words? More than enough to get him out of bed and racing (as quietly as he could in the dark) towards you.

He opened the front door in his sleep joggers to see you pacing and shaking your arms. You hadn’t noticed him yet, so he took the opportunity to admire you. The way your hair fell, your Senator pajama pants that Brady gave you as a gag gift, the way you bit your lip between your teeth.

“Hey.” His voice broke you out of your trance, your head whipping around to see him standing in the doorframe.

“Hi.” Your voice was quiet, the nerves getting the best of you. You stood there for a while, just looking at each other. His hair was a mess and he was wearing the grey hoodie you knew for a fact was his favourite. “Oh, right, I have to go first. Um...Are- are you still sure about your feelings for me?” He nodded. “And-and they’re for sure, good feelings?”

“… They’re such good feelings.” You nodded and gave your body another shake through, as if to dissipate the nerves racing throughout your veins.

“I know it’s taken me a while to kinda sort everything out but… I like you too. That’s why hearing those things hurt so much. That’s why I had to take some time. I've been alone for most of my life and it was scary to let someone in so easily, unknowingly. You just waltzed in and made yourself at home in my heart and it felt like you belonged so I… I didn’t even realize you could hurt me. And when I heard those things, it hurt more. It just solidified that I should’ve stayed alone. You can’t get hurt if there’s no one to hurt you right? But every talk, every late night drive, everything we had...it was worth all the hurt. So I’m ready. I want to do this with you, even if it hurts. I don’t know if I can do life without you.” He pushed himself off of the doorframe and came to stand in front of you, his hand cupping your cheeks, soothing the skin under your eyes.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you and I don’t plan on doing it ever again, Y/n, you have to know that.” You nodded against his hands and you could feel some of his tension fade from his body. “Does this mean… we could be more than friends?”

“I want to be much more than friends with you, Tim.” You bit your lip to try to stop your smile from growing so wide, but it broke through when you saw how wide his smile was and how his eyes crinkled with joy.

“Does this mean I can kiss you now?” He asked softly, already leaning in. He left space between the two of you so you could decide but you easily leaned into him, your lips meeting. It was gentle but it was loving. You moved in sync, Tim’s hand moving to the back of your head to push you closer to him. Eventually, you pulled away for air.

“Schatz…” He breathed and you laughed lightly.

“You know, I don't think you've told me what that really means,” You said with a cheeky smile.

“Would you like me to say it in English, sweetheart?” He brushed his nose with yours.

“Hmm, German is fine,” You tilted your head upwards, almost brushing your lips with his. With your teasing, he let out a groan, bringing you in for another kiss. This time he broke for air, his eyes still slightly closed.

“You know, you cured my homesickness. I never felt like I missed home because I found home in you,” He whispered. Your heart melted and you brought your lips together with a passion he hadn’t seen from you before. Your hands tangled in his hair and he chased your lips as if it was a breakaway. When you broke for air, the two of you were breathless.

“As much as I want to keep doing that, it’s also very early and I am tired. Can we go back to bed please?” His arms were still around your waist, but he leaned back enough that you could see his face, puppy dog eyes and all. You nodded to his request with a soft smile, and went to remove yourself from his arms and go back to your car, but he tightened his grip.

“I got you now, so I’m not letting you go.” You buried your head in the crook of his neck and slowly the two of you made your way into the warm house. He led you through the dark hallways to his bedroom, giggling and sneaking kisses where you could.

You fell asleep so easily, the quickest you have the entire time you had lived in Ottawa. And it wasn’t only Tim’s warmth, or the way his sheets smell like hockey tape and his peppermint shampoo. You had finally opened yourself up. You had found that belonging your dad always wanted you to. And you found that in Tim; whether he knew it or not, he was home.

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[crimsonwolfie]

A Love Like In The Movies - Stiles Stilinski x Reader

Prompt: You (the reader) have had a crush on Stiles, your best friend, since forever. Only...he likes the popular girl, Lydia...or so you thought.

Warnings: tinges of sadness, loneliness and a hint of heartbreak...but a ton of fluff :)

Word count: 3,071

masterlist

You tug at your bag, shoving about 3 books in at once in an attempt to be out of class as soon as the bell rings. Walking with your head down and hands clasping your bag up, you harshly bump into the new kid Henry, knocking him to the floor along with all his books and your papers....clearly you never remembered why your nickname was ‘Wobbly Whittmore’.

“Oh my gosh, i’m so sorry!” You utter with one hand on your mouth and the other helping him up off the floor. He stares up at you with a dazed look and a small smirk, watching you help scramble up his papers and books.

“It’s chill, don’t worry”

You look up at him with a shy smile, clearly embarrassed for your clumsiness. “It’s not, honestly i’m so sorry. You haven’t even been here for a week and already you’ve been practically beaten up..” you shake your head “that usually happens at least 3 months in” you wink at him, laughing lightly. Henry laughs back whilst collecting more papers from the floor.

As you both sigh, your hands collide briefly. It was just for a moment...but it made you feel something. At first it was shock, but then something you’ve wanted to feel for so long...just with someone else...Stiles. Henry’s eyes dart up at you, his cheeks heating up slightly.

“I...sorry i should get going” he quickly adverts his gaze and gets up, picking up what’s in his hands “how many people can say they’ve encountered the nice Whittmore in their first week, huh?”

“Oh god you know about my brother already?” you huff, handing him his books “Some friendly advice since you’re obviously a decent guy...stay far away from him.” You laugh, once again feeling embarrassed for being related to...well...Jackson.

“Yeah he has a...well...a reputation so to speak. Thanks again, see you around, Y/N”

“Later Henry!”

Walking through the halls you can’t help but think of Stiles. He’s adorable, cute, beautiful, funny, smart, geeky but in the best way, kind, gentle...the list quite literally goes on forever. But in all the time you’ve known him...he’s always liked Lydia. The girl who your brother used to date. Since they broke up, Stiles has never been so smitten. Sure, she’s gorgeous and actually really nice...but she’s who he likes...she’s not you. I mean, you never know...he could like you. You’ve never actually mentioned it to him. But then if you do, and he turns you down, you’d be crushed... completely!

“Hey Y/N!” Stiles appears from around the corner of the lockers, making you jump a little.

“Jesus Stiles, don’t do that!” You hiss as you hold your hand over your heart. He throws his head back giggling. ‘God how cute he looks when he’s happy’ the little voice in your head says.

“You up for a movie marathon after school? I got your favourites...” he moves closer

“Harry Potter?!” You squeal, clapping your hands together 

“Only the best for the best” he smiles with all teeth showing. You silently fist pump the air as he holds his hand out for you to high five him, which you do. Your hands hover in the air, skin hot to the touch, until he breaks apart and places his hands in his pockets.

“I’ll go and find Scott and ask if he’s in. Knowing him, he’ll want to bring Allison and with Allison comes...”

“Lydia” you sigh

“Yes! She’s just so brilliant, isn’t she?” Stiles hummed, his face cheeky and merry like a child eating ice cream. You tried to hide the hurt with a faint smile, because seeing Stiles so happy just warmed your heart. You didn’t want to be the one to ruin it.

“What’s up Y/N/N?” Stiles’ smile faded into a frown, concern painted across his perfectly honeyed eyes. Seeing this, you can practically feel your heart drop.

You fiddle with the rings on your fingers as your soft Y/H/C hair slips in front of your face. “What? No...nothing. Rough day that’s all-”

“HEY Y/N” You look up to see Henry running towards you with one arm stretched out towards you, the other holding his bag strap. “You left this, when we spoke earlier” he hands you a pile of papers, all with your name on.

“Oh, my god...I’d be totally screwed if I didn’t have this for tomorrow’s math class. I’m so sorry. They must have got mixed up with your papers” you take the papers out of his hand and shove them into your bag, smiling shyly at both boys staring at you. “Thanks Henry, you saved my math grade” you laugh, causing Henry to blush and bite his lip ever so subtly, placing his hand on your arm and squeezing it playfully.

“No worries, Y/N. I’ll see you around” he winks at you, earning a frown from Stiles. 

“Who’s that geezer?” He remarks, his face furrowed with a mix of both dislike and anger. Little did you know, Stiles didn't like seeing other guys flirt with you. He began to feel this deep pit in his stomach, his blood beginning to boil. 

You turn to face Stiles, pushing your hair back behind your ear. Sheepishly you pat him on the shoulder “i’ll see you at 3? Parking lot?”

“Yeah, sure.” He replies hesitantly, fidgeting with the rim of his flannel. You notice something’s got him wound up but decide it’s probably just him nervous to spend time with Lydia and continue to walk down the hall, making your way to health class.

━━━━━━━━

All throughout the rest of your classes for the day, you just felt empty. Nothing but heartbreak, emptiness, loneliness. Thoughts of him and Lydia snuggling up in blankets whilst eating popcorn and watching the movie kept bubbling around your brain. You tried to snap out of it, but nothing would work. You thought about just cancelling on the meet after school, knowing it would be way less painful. ‘They probably wouldn’t even notice I'm gone’ you thought. Your mind was like a prison that you couldn't escape...

“this must have been what Sirius Black felt like for 12 years” you mutter under your breath, not caring who heard. Sounds of faint chattering, pencils scribbling and the monotone voice of Mrs Rawlings can be heard around you, but none of it distracts your train of thoughts. Just begging for some sort of peace, you crash your head into your arms on the table.

“Hey, Y/N” you felt a gentle nudge on your forearm and look up to see Scott staring down at you, his hand on your arm. “What’s up with you dude? And who’s Sirius Black?”

You sigh with an overly dramatic eye roll, unwillingly plucking up enough strength to say once again that you’re ‘fine just a bit tired that’s all’...

“Tired.” is all you can spit out before shoving your head back into your arms. Little did you know, Scott could sense what you were feeling...I mean you didn't lie - he sensed tiredness...just mentally. Along with hurt, pain and loneliness.

“You sure? Well maybe after school you’ll feel better. Say, d’you reckon Allison likes...I don’t know...flowers? I... I was going to get her a bunch before I pick her up to go to Stiles’” You felt your tears drop into your sleeves, soaking both your jumper and your face as Scott continued. “Do girls like flowers? I’d ask Lydia but I'm closer with yo...”

“Yeah flowers whatever.” you mutter without lifting your head up. Scott scrunched his face, his brows furrowing. Usually, you were so much more supportive and excited for him - heck you were even more excited than him when you found out about him and Allison! You guys always told each other everything. ‘Something is definitely going on’ he thought to himself. He decided it was best to not say much more right now since he was already on a report in Mrs Rawlings’ class.

Just as Scott was about to hand you a note in class, the final bell rang. Instantly you popped up and grabbed your books, practically sprinting out of the door. Scott tried to stop you, but was called behind class by the teacher. You knew he was going to follow you, that's why you ran. No matter what, he couldn't see you like this, otherwise he wouldn’t drop it and would demand to know who hurt you - how could you tell him it was his own best friend?! As you’re jogging, you bump into the one person you wanted to avoid...

“Woah, slow down there cowgirl” Stiles holds your shoulders with his hands, his grip firm and comforting. He takes one look at you and notices your wet, blotchy eyes. You hang your head low in an attempt to hide your face from him...clearly it doesn't work.

“Hey, hey, hey! What’s up? Who hurt you?! his smile fades drastically upon seeing the state you were in. Obviously you weren't going to tell him, so you just decide to make up something...

“I failed my health class for the semester”

“Y/N it’s not the end of the world, you can always retake!” he sighs

You turn over to him with your hands in the air, shaking your head. “No you don’t un...you know what, Stiles? I can’t come over later. I’m sorry.” 

He steps back in surprise, both hands leaving your shoulders and grabbing his bag straps around his arms. Suddenly, you feel angry at him...though you instantly regret snapping at him. “i...I’m sorry” is all you can stutter as you run out the door, leaving Stiles standing there wondering what he did wrong, for what felt like hours, until Scott saw him.

“dude what're you doing? We got a marathon to start” he smacks Stiles on the back full pelt, leaving Stiles to stumble a bit.

“Have you spoken to Y/N today?” he asks, his voice trembly, quiet.

“Of course I have. Why, haven’t you?” The alpha replies

“No I have, it’s just...she was upset and i tried to help but she just...” he trails off   as Scott steps closer, Stiles’ eyes dull.

“She just what?” he asks, his voice calm and gentle

“She said she failed health class...”

“Wait, no that's not true - I got pulled behind class today because Mrs Rowlings wants me to have a tutor for health class and suggested Y/N since she’s acing everything!?” Scott explained. Stiles jerked his head, brows furrowing once again.

“Wait what?” his hand flew to his forehead as he leaned against the lockers beside him. “She snapped at me. I think I did something, Scotty...but I don’t know what. She’s been distant for a while now ever since Jackson and Lydia broke up, and I mean I know that her brother hates us but I just didn't think Y/N would choose her brother over us or me and i...”

“Stiles, stop.” Scott grabs both of Stiles’ shoulders and makes direct eye contact with him. “Listen, okay? I think I know what’s up”

“You do?” Stiles’ eyes brightened insantly. He knew something was wrong with his best friend and he knew he would do anything to fix that.

“She likes you, dude. Really likes you. And I thought you would have figured that out by now...she’s always doodling your name in class and covers it whenever someone passes by. Plus, she talks about you all the time.” Scott understood why you had been distant, and he didn’t blame you.

Stiles’s cheeks flushed a bright shade of red as a smile began appearing. His heart started pounding quicker than Quicksilver in the X-Men films, butterflies swarming around his stomach and ribcage. “Seriously? Then why is she distancing herself from me?”

“Because she still thinks you’re in love with Lydia...her heartbeat quickens when she’s with you, or when you guys touch in some way” Scott’s tone becomes more serious, which is unusual for Scott. Typically, he’s always goofy around Stiles so clearly he meant what he was about to say next... “But when you’re with Lydia, her mood changes. I can sense it...It’s sort of sad, lonely...” his face melts just thinking of all the times he’s felt that same pain. “You gotta tell her how you feel, Stiles. Tonight.”

“But I can’t...she’s not coming!” Stiles replies with a croaky voice.

“Then you go to her!” Scott replies, his eyes wide with hope and his hands pressing on Stiles’ back, pushing him towards the door “go now, dude!” Stiles picks up his pace and jogs to the door, one hand gripping his bag strap and the other fiddling with his keys in his pocket. “And let me know how it goes” Scott shouts as Stiles leaves the building.

━━━━━━━━

As you reach your front door, you feel a tear trickle down your cheek. All you could think of was Stiles. How he would, at this moment, be snuggling and giggling with Lydia. You have nothing against her, in fact you are actually really fond of her, but it breaks your heart to know you aren't the one who can make the boy you love, fall for you. A pain runs through your chest as you slam the door shut, your breathing wheezing. Leaning against the door, you slide down...completely breaking down.

“Why doesn’t he look at me that way?” you mutter to yourself, head in arms as your cheeks soak into your sleeves. “All I've ever done is try and make him happy, try and make him realise how incredible he is...and he still doesn't see me the same way”

Nose sniffling, eyes red, head fuzzy, hands shaking and top wet...you get up. ‘You did the best thing. It was the right decision to stay home’ you think, knowing it would have just ruined your friendship if you told him how you felt. And anyway, you wanted him to be happy. And clearly, that wasn't with you...

You ran upstairs and changed into a comfy pair of joggers and an oversized top, chucking your slippers on and grabbing a blanket before heading back downstairs. If you couldn't join their movie night - you’d have your own! 

Snacks and a drink were sitting on the table beside you on the sofa, with the television on ready and curtains closed. Just as you had got yourself in a comfy position, the doorbell rang. You grunted, kicking the blanket off your legs and dragging yourself towards the front door. Opening it, you felt your breath escape you. It was Stiles, standing at the door, with a bouquet of beautiful flowers in his hands. His hair was messy as if he’d run his fingers through it a thousand times, his cheeks were flushed brighter and pinker than bubblegum, looking as if he was out of breath from rushing somewhere. You go to say something, but before you had the chance, Stiles speaks, “Hi! I uh....I didn’t know whether you were mad at me or whether you were just having a rough day but it seemed like you were mad at me so I wanted to see if you were okay and uh...I got you these” His arms stretched to give you the flowers, his face ridden with nerves. You looked down at the flowers and then back up to Stiles’ face.

“Why would you think i was mad at you?” You questioned, brows furrowing at the confusion of what was happening. “These are gorgeous, thanks Stiles” you coo with a smile on your face, taking the flowers from Stiles’ hands. As you grab them, your hands touch Stiles’, causing your cheeks to flush and your heart to flutter. Stiles’ own cheeks flushed at the touch of your hands, too.

“You seem distant with me lately. And Scott told me why...” he begins, fingers fidgeting with the rim of his checkered shirt “I like Lydia...” he trails off.

Upon hearing these words, you feel your heart drop. Mouth dry and sadness creeping into your mind, you feel clouded with emotions and thoughts. Why would Stiles come over, give you flowers and then declare his love for Lydia? “Yeah I kno...” you begin until he cuts you off,

“She’s my friend. And she’s amazing...but she doesn’t wait for me after classes. She doesn’t call me to check in once in a while. She doesn’t do anything in her power to make sure I'm happy or know I'm loved...” his beautiful brown eyes stared lovingly into yours, your heart lifting and beating faster with each sentence he says...

“She doesn’t know me, and I mean the real me...the one who suffers with anxiety, who needs a nightlight and needs constant reassurance on even the simplest things” you smirk at the mention of a nightlight because, well, you were the one who actually got it for him...because you knew he wasn't doing too good. “She is my friend, Y/N, but she isn’t my best friend. And I like her, but I don’t love her...because I love you. It’s always been you”

There’s a soft wind that blows between you both, causing you to shiver and shake with both excitement and chills. Stiles’ eyes glittered in the sunlight like an ocean surface in summer, tears welling in them. You bit your lip which trembled with an overcoming emotion of happiness as you leant forward and grabbed him, cupping his face in your soft hands and bringing your lips to his in a desperate yet passionate way. Feelings of euphoria and desire filled both of your hearts like a fire burning bright, lips moving sweetly in sync as in destined for one another. His hands wrap around your waist as you bring your hands through his hair. Nothing felt more perfect than this moment...all your worries gone and your heart fuller than ever before because the boy who holds your heart, who has held your heart for years, is finally in your arms. Stiles’ warmth radiates onto your cheeks as you smile into the kiss, earning a smile from Stiles, too. Breaking away to breathe, you both look down and giggle, hands intertwining with Stiles rubbing circles on your palm with his thumb.

You look up at him, smiling, as you speak “I...I love you too”. Stiles coos as he pulls you closer to him to break the gap now between you both, “I gathered” he laughs, kissing the top of your forehead affectionately. “So, how about that marathon?”

Hope you guys like it! x

[flowerwrites06]

utopic desire I — jjk

Plot: Under an elist system of Vampires, Jungkook is torn between his old values and the lowest ranked Vampire he begins to fall for.

Pairing(s): Vampire!Jungkook x Vampire!OC

Rating: G | PG | M | R 18+

Type: Drabble | Oneshot | Series

Genre: Supernatural/Vampires | Angst/Fluff/Smut

Tags & Warnings: discrimination, explicit smut, angst, coarse language.

Authors Note: this is a repost after my break since I’m not really going to convert this one to original fiction. So enjoy to those who missed it! I’m doing it in parts cause posting big posts on Tumblr sucks. 

“Glasses, five o’clock.” Yoongi muttered mostly under his breath but enough for the group to hear before taking a small sip of his reddened whiskey.

Belle felt a light rumble in her belly at his words, turning her head a little to see the male sitting quietly at the bar counter. Blue sweater with some light wash jeans, thin rimmed glasses and slightly long messy locks hovering over his temples. The tiny pout on his bottom lip only added to what an adorable specimen he was. “Jeon?” She smirked.

Yoongi shrugged mimicking the little curl on her lips as his eyes flickered to the side to get another look of him. “Hangs around with the pure bloods a lot. Must be a favourite source.”

Jungkook was the quietest whenever Belle noticed him in the pure blood crowds and with the way he held himself, it didn’t seem like he was much of a power in the group. One of the vampires who she knew was called Vira always clung to him which she could only assume meant he must have been her human.

“Could be fun annoying the shit out of Vira.” Belle mused.

“Or dangerous.” Jimin spoke up, finger tracing the brim of his glass with the drink barely sipped on. “Pure bloods don’t like us meddling.”

“They don’t like it when I meddle.” She corrected.

Pure bloods had no issue with other pure blood vampires. Even Taehyung, they tolerated despite their dated views on humans. With her though, a spawn of an original vampire and a human was downright blasphemy in their eyes. Belle still wondered to this day why Jimin, Yoongi or even Kiku thought about including her into their group, tainting their name in the academy.

Yoongi nudged Jimin’s arm harshly. “For a Park, you’re a real buzzkill, you know that?”

Jimin rolled his eyes in response, raking through his blue hair before murmuring a small apology towards Belle.

“Do we have a deal or not?”

“What’re you willing to give me when I get him?” Belle leaned in, elbows rested on the surface.

A smirk plastered across the man’s lips. “If you get him to sleep with you, I’ll give you my Lamborghini.”

Belle scoffed. “Which one?”

“The Centenario.”

“Nah—I want the Veneno.”

“If you were less hot maybe but everyone wants you so…the Centenario.”

“Oh come on—”

“If it helps I’m pretty sure Yoongi came on one of the Veneno seats one time.” Kiku spoke gesturing a toothpick towards Yoongi who stammered a little.

Belle grimaced lightly. “Fine, the Centenario.”

“That’s only cause someone decided for the first time they weren’t going to swallow.”

“You literally begged me to let you come all over my face.” Kiku parted her lips in slight offense while Yoongi shifted in his seat.

“Okay now I’m really going to go.” Belle chuckled climbing off the stool and fixing her deep red, ruche dress fitted to her curves before walking to the bar counter.

Jungkook still had his eyes fixated on his drink taking one sip almost every hour while he was somehow deep in thought. Though as he noticed a figure walking his way, his head shot meeting two beetle orbs with shining ruby flecks scattered across. It glimmered in the night light resembling a dark faery of some sort though he knew she was no faery.

“Do you always sit around alone in the college bars?” Belle asked sitting down on the stool next to him, ignoring how her dress rode up her thighs when she did.

Gaze flickered down to the heavily exposed skin, body exuding a thick, warm scent flooding his nostrils and filling his lungs. Jungkook felt his head spin from the sweetness but found himself taking more in anyway. “I don’t like a whole lot of company.” He mumbled.

“Do I count as a whole lot of company?”

“Not really.”

Belle smiled, that tiny spark of accomplishment lingering in the pit of her belly but she knew not to get too excited. “I don’t like much company either.”

“You seem to have a few friends.”

“And I love them.” She nodded. “But I also love...more intimate company.”

Jungkook’s lips twitched briefly as he gripped onto the glass a little tightly. He watched her move forward with her arms folded under her chest, making them pop beautifully in the dim lighting. “What kind of intimate company?”

“Just two people. Me and them. Taking a walk, going to eat, having sex…” Belle let a small moment of silence linger between the two people before shrugging. “Intimate moments where it’s only between the two of you.”

Jungkook couldn’t help but feel a little tingle. How it was easy to just fall into her careful words and drown in her whole aura. “Do you get to do it a lot?”

The corner of her lips curled up a little. “I haven’t for a while.”

“That’s not good.” The scent grew thicker around him again and Jungkook sought it as a good sign enough to shift closer. A layer of ice melting between them with a new brewing heat.

She hummed sadly.

“How much did he bet?”

Belle peered up at him curiously, tilting her head. It didn’t really matter whether Jungkook knew it was a bet or not at this point. She already had him close enough. “A Lamborghini Centenario.” She smiled.

Jungkook raised a brow tempted to glance over at her group but he stopped himself. Not that it was too difficult when he started unintentionally counting the little ruby flecks in her eyes. “High price for little old me.” His voice descended into a darker register as he leaned closer, feeling a strange heat radiate from her skin. “You sure you want to take it?”

“Depends…how little are you?” Belle’s eyes flickered down his body momentarily.

He chuckled, licking the inside of his cheek as he glanced down at his drink. Now more than ever in this entire night, Jungkook lost full interest of filling himself up with alcohol that won’t even intoxicate him. He needed something sweeter. “Well I can’t confirm anything to you here.”

-

Hunger never tugged any stronger than a bad cramp with Belle. She found decent satisfaction in food but it was almost like strong, uncontrollable cravings when her body wanted to feed properly. A type of craving that needed to be satisfied for her own health and wellbeing. While Belle could take it more than any other vampire, refusing to take blood could still kill her just as easily.

Jungkook’s hunger was a basic need. His hunger panged and pulled at his gut, spread exhaustion through his limbs, head spinning uncomfortably. The last time he fed was on one of the history students in his group project. It was consensual but he couldn’t take much before the boy fainted. There was something different pumping through Belle’s veins, radiating with so much warmth and smelling so sweet that he made him a little dizzy.

Public bathrooms were not an ideal place for a feed but the dark purple walls and black marble floors allowed for less traces and easy clean ups. Door clicked as it locked. All Belle did was turn around before her whole body was engulfed with another, lips locked with his as he pinned her against the door. It was icy at first until it started meshing in with her own warmth allowing her to melt into it.

Somewhere deep in the thick lake of his thirst, Jungkook knew he should stop and go back to the bar to prevent any issues. If anyone found out who he was with in the bathroom stalls, they would give him hell beyond belief. But the thought drowned as quickly as he grabbed onto her hips and moved them to the sink counter.

Jungkook whipped her around until she bent over the marble counter a little, a smile curling at her reddening smudged lips. Looking into the mirror Belle admired the way his forehead knitted when she felt her dress push up to her hips. He brushed away her long hair to expose her shoulder and the crook of her neck.

Leaning in, he pressed wet kisses along her shoulder while his hips harboring a mind of its own ground against her plump bottom. His gut gripped at whatever satisfaction he could get from her smell. That thickly sweet smell just calling out to him. How was it possible? She wasn’t supposed to smell this warm. He wasn’t supposed to feel this hungry tasting her skin.

Belle tilted her head to give him more room waiting for him to get as riled up as possible before she took her own feeding. His large palms exploring every inch of her body, reaching up to her breasts and kneading them to light squeeze before trailing down her hips again.

Tongue traced across one particular spot, soft and sensitive. Fingers gripped at the roots of her hair to expose more skin before his fangs bared, white shining in the light before it sunk in. His whole body trembled in glee. The burst of warmth trailing down his throat, tasting so fucking delicious on his tongue that he kept taking in more. Jungkook moaned against her skin, one palm moving between her legs as he rubbed himself on her curve.

Her first instinct was to protest when Belle felt an intrusion on her skin. She held onto the edge of the counter so tightly that one of her nails could have cracked off. Except the words died on her tongue and the only sounds forming out of her were whimpers…pleased whimpers. The warmth that exploded through her was so thrilling, so intoxicating that her knees began to wobble.

Jungkook could feel himself getting full right to the very limit but he still took more. A slight tinge of concern sparked inside him. He was taking too much. Forcefully he pulled away and pressed his tongue against the injury to heal it quickly before taking deep breaths like they had already done the deed. He usually was really good at holding back. What was wrong with him?

“You’re a fucking trickster.” Belle breathed out with a light giggle. She really should be mad but her body felt far too satisfied to be angry. Though she still felt something stiff rubbing against her. With a cheeky smile, she swayed her hips against his causing the vampire to hiss and grab onto her.

“You wanted to do the same to me.” Jungkook spoke in a low growl, his eyes flashing back to his original red except it darkened in seconds with his ever growing lust.

“Except I can’t, can I?” Belle mumbled a little lazily, allowing him to dig his nails as much as he wanted into her skin but she still wasn’t going to stay put.

Jungkook buried his fingers through her hair and gently pulled her back so he pressed right against his torso. “You can’t tell anyone about this…” He whispered in her ear, lips brushing against her soft earlobe. “And you’ll still get your Lamborghini.”

Belle had it coming. The secret promise. Every pure blood or turned vampire asked her the same thing right when their moment of clarity passed through them after a night of heated movements and sinful noises.

‘ Don’t tell anyone I touched you. ’

‘ No one can know we were together. ’

She was never allowed to speak a word but that didn’t mean she couldn’t hear them jabbering how the failed breedling begged for it with their other friends. “I promise.” She muttered like a familiar song.

Jungkook searched her eyes for a moment, the ruby flecks losing their usual twinkle when she spoke those two small words. His expression softened, grip on her hair loosening before moving his hand down to fix her dress gently as if it could somehow cushion on a blow he didn’t know he caused. But it was there. He could feel the way her skin chilled slightly disallowing him to melt into her again.

Before he could truly understand what that feeling was, Belle shifted away from his hold a little, setting up her hair again in the mirror. Not a single confused twitch on her features.

Then why was he confused?

He was the one who asked to keep it a secret so that was it. It would be selfish to expect some kind of argument when there was no way around the matter.

“I’ll have to go first.” Belle broke through the momentary silence. “Yoongi won’t believe something happened if you went out before me.”

“Why not?”

Another grin tugged at her lips even though the flecks were still dull and unexcited. “I usually tire out the ones I’m with. They have to take a break or at least look really out of it afterwards.” Belle walked over to him and patted his cheek.

Jungkook scoffed lightly though a little relieved he caught the tiniest cheeky glint before she walked out of the bathroom.

-

Two mornings passed and it left the pure blood emptier than he wanted to admit. Jungkook opted to take this particular dawn to cage himself in the gym for a few hours before classes started rolling. It was the best time when the whole building was empty save for the security guards. Eventually when he tired himself out enough not to think about those ruby flecks again and have the smell of sweat instead of that sweet, warm aroma, he started preparing for the library.

Apparently Vira and a couple of others wanted to get some readings done and it was getting too sunny outside for their liking.

The academy library was vast filled with books ancient to modern adorning shelves so much taller than him he could barely see the top. Jungkook had a simple black long sleeves draped on him as he walked over to the corner table and found Vira with an empty seat to her.

Deep red lips curled up into wide grin as she patted the seat and the male didn’t really respond much before doing as she silently asked.

Jungkook never found a whole lot of interest in the conversations his group mumbled towards each other and simply opened his books to skim through readings like he thought they were supposed to do. Though even with their words tuned out a little, his eyes still flickered up to scan the shelves, a few of the tables with quiet students curling on themselves. Except one figure glowed so bright near a few tables forward.

Her hair was not as black as he imagined it was in the bar lighting. It was almost a chocolate brown, a little messy and wavy with a small clip loosely placing back on side of it. Lips in a lighter pink tinge while wearing lilac thin sleeve dress with small peach flowers scattered across from what he could catch. Jungkooks’ lips twitched a little seeing her smile so easily with such a genuine aura when a blond haired girl next to her muttered something between them.

“Kook.”

He felt a harsh nudge on his arm causing him to shake back into reality and look over at Vira again. “What?”

“We saw you sneaking in with a certain someone back at the party.” One of the other pure blood vampires, Hoseok spoke with a wide smirk tugging at his lips. “The failed breedling.”

“I thought we called her a failed experiment.” Vira commented with a ghost of a smile over to Hoseok who chuckled in response. “Some kind of deformed rat in the lab.”

Jungkook curled his fingers against the table trying to kill the words that were desperately attempting to escape through him. “She’s definitely not deformed. I mean…we’ve seen Doyoung’s nose.”

A turned vampire, Doyoung shot a glare at the male while the rest of the group laughed in full agreement though quiet enough not to echo through the room.

Hoseok then turned back to Jungkook with his eyes flashing red. “How non-deformed is she exactly?”

Nails dug deep into his palm until the skin almost ripped. Jungkook was glad he had a good ability to hide his abilities otherwise his eyes would have been permanently red from anger. “She’s…kinda perfect physically. I fed from her.” You fucking dumbass.

“You did?” Vira didn’t care to hide her grimace, hand pressing to her chest. “God, aren’t you sick?”

“It tasted good.”

“Really?” Hoseok’s eyes faded into red for longer than Jungkook was comfortable with. That same faint smirk appearing back on his lips. “How good?”

Jungkook wanted to look back at Belle. As if there was this intense pull at his belly wanting to watch her smile so genuinely again and tune this conversation out again. “Better than a human.”

“Fuck, seriously?” Doyoung’s eyes widened so much his eyes could have popped out if he wasn’t careful.

“Maybe we should tell our original masters to take in more humans to breed.” Hoseok nodded down at his open and ignored book rested there for show.

Jungkook actively ignored the comment and gathered a bit more confidence to look over at Belle’s table again. His stomach jumped to his throat when he noticed those dark orbs meet his own. He held onto it, expression softening to admire how beautifully they sparkled, how her chest rose and fell. The way her lips curled up before she leaned into whisper something in her friend’s ear.

Vira scoffed without any care for volume. “They’d rather feed on animals than do that. One abomination is enough.” Every word was harsh and cut, not a single ounce of regret in what was spewing out of her mouth.

He heard the words but paid no mind to them when Belle stood up from the chair, giving him another smile before walking over to the other end of the library where the last, abandoned aisle was.

“If you ask me then they should’ve killed her along with her dirty parents.” Vira shrugged looking down at her long deep violet nails.

“I need to find a book.” Jungkook got up from his chair and walked through the library on the other side of the shelves away from the tables. He didn’t share a single glance to Vira when she called his name.

It was almost like a pull. Dragging him across the floor like a sorry but happy puppet, running to the one who controlled his strings. She shouldn’t be controlling his strings. But Jungkook still let her.

Finally he reached the last aisle, pausing in his tracks for a moment when he saw Belle leaning back against the wall shelf with her arms crossed over her chest.

“What happened to not telling anyone?” Belle asked with a faint smirk plastered on her lips.

Jungkook walked to stand right in front of the girl, the morning sun brightly shining through the window but thankfully high enough not to beam on the floor. “Who says anyone’s going to know?”

The cute smirk stretched into a mischievous smile. “You owe me a little.”

“How’s that?”

“You fed from me.” Granted, Belle strangely enjoyed the feeling far more than she would like to admit. “Yet I haven’t gotten anything from you.”

“You don’t think it’s a little selfish?”

Without a reply, she hooked her fingers on the frilly hem of her dress, pulling it up enough for him to see those thick thighs again. “Depends on how badly you don’t want to give me anything.” Belle couldn’t help but dive deep into her gaze when looking at the male. Thin black sweater with the sleeves rolled up to show off the veins popping from his arms after his morning workout, long tresses naturally curled and touching his brows. She could just imagine those fingers gripping at her skin.

Gaze darkened as he watched her plump, pink painted lips curl up into a smile while the rubies in her eyes disappeared almost completely turning into a blackened red. “Do you enjoy making a scene?” His voice grumbled, stepping closer until once again he was met with that beautiful heat radiating from her.

“It’s not a scene if no ones’ looking.” Belle murmured, breath hitting his lips almost magnetizing him to dip his head down further. “Besides—I already know your little quiet shy boy is just a façade now. Don’t expect me not to have a little fun with it.”

Hand grabbed onto her hips like his life depended on it, pads of his finger squeezing her until he heard a light gasp. “I’m not like your other sweet humans that you tire out, darling.”

“Well I wouldn’t know much from experience, would I?” Belle tilted her head, her nerves awakening with the way his fingers deliciously dug through her clothes into her skin almost forming permanent dimples.

Jungkook walked forward letting her stumble back so she rested further against the last shelf of books. Her scent filling her nostrils again and he sniffed in letting it flood his lungs and thicken right up to his throat. His hands latched off her hip and trailed down her short dress, rough fingers tracing her soft thigh. Sliding up thin clothing between her legs, his hands paused where he felt heat. Wet heat soaking through a thin soft fabric, almost soggy when he pressed his fingers against it.

Belle let out a shaky breath, gently caressing his rising chest. As the male pressed harder she could feel her erect nub throbbing out for him. The light spark of pleasure caused her to close her eyes. What a mistake that was. Almost instantly the pressure on her panties stopped and another hand grabbed onto her chin.

“Look at me.” Jungkook growled under his breath. Eyes flashed red when their gazes met again causing Belle to smile albeit a little shakily.

A soft hum emitting in her throat, Belle felt his rough fingers sneak into her panties. Rubbing straight against her nub jolting sparks of pleasure through her veins. It was too tempting to close her eyes and fully relish into the sensations but she kept her gaze on him. His eyes faded into an extremely deep crimson.

Fingers caressed circles on her delicate clit before sliding down her dripping slit. Spreading her nether lips, he slowly pushed in his middle digit, curling up deeper as he hungrily watched Belle part her mouth and throw her head back against the shelf. Jungkook dipped in latching his lips onto her jugular to get more of her taste. So warm. So fucking sweet. He tried to muffle out the groan against her skin. Jungkook pulled his finger out and slid back up to her clit, increasing his pace into a mild assault of pleasure.

Belle brushed through his slightly cold hair, giggling lightly as he gently grazed his teeth on the side of her neck before kissing her jawline. She tried soften her moans with her trembling breaths but tiny noises of desperation still escaped. The rush tightened in her lower belly. Warmer. Hotter. Her hips jerked against his movements, almost standing on her tiptoes.

Then her ears pricked for a moment. Footsteps echoing a little closer than normal.

“Someones’ coming.” Belle whispered in a shaky tone, trying to push Jungkooks’ hand out of her panties but he didn’t budge.

“I thought you liked making a scene, baby.” He swirled his finger around her clit in a tantalizing pace again forcing her orgasm to move to a distance again.

“Jungkook—”

As the footsteps grew closer, Jungkook whipped her around so she faced the shelf. The librarian appeared at the aisle giving them a quick glance as Belle pretended to pick up a book.

It only took a few minutes of her gazing around, looking for a book rather than watching them directly but it thickened the frustration between the couple. Belle cupped her core gently trying to gain more friction to keep her pleasure driving closer though it was hard not to move too fast.

Once the librarian disappeared, Jungkook dipped his hand back without a single moment of hesitation, rubbing up and down her slit to spread her arousal before torturing her clit again. Head buried in her shoulder he viciously rubbed her bundle of nerves as she held onto the shelves for dear life while the book she held dropped to the ground.

Belle leaned her forehead against the shelf feeling the tightness in her lower belly. Calling out to her and yearning for more of his touch. Fingers wrapped around his forearm as it moved at a lightning pace. “J-Ju—” Heat surged through her body spreading across her limbs, knees shaking causing to almost stumble onto the floor but Jungkook kept her steady. She let out a clearer whimper as he continued to drawl out her orgasm, rubbing at her sensitive nub at a tantalizing pace.

Jungkook pressed roughly against her clit causing Belle to whine and giggle breathlessly. He couldn’t help but grin at the sweet sound, relishing in the aroma of lust mixing in with her natural scent. He turned her around more gently, taking his fingers into his mouth and suckling off her delicious release. “Is that good enough?” He brushed and fixed the light tresses hovering over the girl’s face.

She grinned brushing down the creases in her dress. “Much better.” Belle reached out and absentmindedly caressed the neckline of his shirt with a softer expression across her features, padding closer until her forehead was almost touching his chin. She had a light hum under her breath as she nudged her nose against his jawline.

“What’re you doing?” Jungkook asked, immediately regretting his words when he felt her comforting touch leave him making him feel empty.

Belle stammered stepping back a little and avoiding his gaze. He won’t care for you. “Nothing.” She mumbled quickly picking up the book from the floor, placing it back on the shelf. This was all you were meant for. “Sorry.” Was the final word uttered before she rushed to disappear out of the aisle.

Jungkook took a deep breath to call her back but the words died on his tongue. He had a feeling why she did it. That needy feeling to just cuddle into a warm body after coming down from a high. The little want to be taken care of. The knowledge of it all only caused a squeeze in his chest. I’m sorry.

NEXT PART >>

[boldlyvoid]

Amoreena | chapter one

summary: Heaven is a real place and it's located exactly 14.6 miles away from the FBI, Quantico Headquarters. Off behind a small park, under a fantastical willow tree surrounded by wildflowers, in every colour young minds can imagine.

Don't forget, heaven also comes with angels.

Warnings: fluff, hurt/comfort, depressed spencer, reader has a daughter, falling in love, strangers to lovers

word count: 3,147

Read on Ao3

There’s this small, tiny part, of Spencer that wants to run away.

He’s always felt like he’s never truly been home, a never-ending and long yearning, a homesickness for a place he didn't even know, eating him alive day by day. It made him want to drop everything and buy a cottage in the woods, to fill it with books and coffee and never see another person again.

It got worse after prison and after his mom asked to go back into a care facility, it hurt the most when Penelope left the FBI and things with Max fizzled out. Then he was really, truly alone again. His apartment felt cold and uninviting, the BAU felt like a chore, using his brain for anything other than taking care of himself was extremely hard.

He needed a break.

So when he walked out of work and straight to his favourite park for an escape, he wasn’t surprised that he didn’t stop walking. Going further and further down the trail, following the dirt path towards a pond, covered by a beautiful willow tree and surrounded by pink, purple, yellow and white flowers. The contrast of the green grass with the colourful flowers, the blue sky and the light green willow tree reflection dancing on the surface of the pond. It was like he walked into Eden, taking a seat by the tree and picking a book from his satchel.

For the rest of the week, it’s his own little sanctuary, escaping desk work and home cases as fast as he could. Even then it wasn't enough and he started going every afternoon, he’d sneak out for an hour and just relax. Reading his book, feeling the breeze on his face, the sound of ducks and frogs competing with the crickets for loudest being in the area. Eventually bringing his bike on the subway to work so he could get there faster.

It was beautiful.

Almost as beautiful as what he walked in on when he arrived Saturday afternoon. Parking his bike by the tree, looking at them carefully as he took his satchel off his shoulders and placed it by the trunk. Craning his neck so he could look at who it was, seeing the purest display of human affection known to man.

A mother and her daughter were having a picnic, dressed up like Miss Honey and Matilda as they had lemonade and snacks, spread out on a blanket as the mother handed her a sandwich wrapped in checkered red wax paper.

Spencer was in awe, sitting on the other side of the pond by a second tree, pretending to read when really he was glancing at them. Their laugher filling the field, bouncing around the trees and filling his chest with warmth.

It reminded him of all the afternoons with his own mother. His head in her lap, the sound of her voice as she shared worlds wisdom with him. He missed childhood, freedom, hope. The will to continue…

When the little girl finally notices that they’re not alone in this little world she’s creating, he sees her tug on her moms shirt, asking her a question before cheering. She picks something out of the basket and comes running towards Spencer.

“Excuse me, sir?” Her sweet little voice asks. “Are you an archeologist or a palaeontologist?”

It makes him laugh slightly, a large smile erupting on his face as he pushes his glasses up and puts the book down. “No sorry, I’m not, what made you think I was?”

“You have a satchel and glasses like Milo from Atlantis, but you have a dinosaur on your tie, you look like you work at a museum,” she rambled all her thoughts out, much like he did as a child.

“I’m actually an FBI agent,” he whispered.

“Wow,” she whispered back in amazement, “are you like a knight? Do you save princesses?”

“I do," he nodded enthusiastically, "do you know any in need?”

“Her,” she pointed. “I’m Lady Amoreena, the Princess over there says I was a gift to the kingdom but that she’ll never need a prince or king to take care of us, but I think a knight would work!”

He laughed lightly, seeing her mom shake her head as she overheard it, covering her face with her hand, she looked embarrassed.

“It’s nice to meet you, Lady Amoreena,” he put his hand out to shake her’s as soft as possible, noticing the cookie in her hand. “My name is Dr. Spencer Reid,” he added softly.

“Would you like a cookie?”

He smiled as she placed it in his hand, “thank you.”

“Do you like Matilda?”

“It’s one of my favourite books,” he smiles.

“Do you want to have some lemonade and read with us?” Her face lit up, turning back to where her mother was watching from the pond.

“It’s okay, thank you for offering,” not wanting to intrude on their moment.

“We need a voice for Matilda’s father, please?” She begged, overly sweet and incredibly convincing.

“Alright, but I’m warning you if I upstage the princess with my awesome voices, it’s not my fault,” he smiled as he stood up, grabbing his things and starting to follow her over to the blanket.

She took his hand and tugged him along the edge of the pond, dragging him right to were her mother was sitting on the ground.

“I’m sorry,” she apologized softly as he sat down. “She’s very persistent about making new friends. We don’t see many people on this side of the park.”

“It’s fine, honestly, I’m Dr. Spencer Reid, by the way,” he introduced himself. “I work with the FBI, normally I’d advice women and their children to avoid strange men they don’t know when they’re alone in the woods like this.”

She laughed slightly, “Y/N Y/L/N, I’m the head librarian at the DC library, and you don’t seem that strange.”

“Neither did Bundy,” he tried to joke, knowing she got it and trusted him when she bit back a smile, eyes twinkling at him in the sunlight.

“My name is Amoreena, like the Elton John song,” her daughter cut in, noticing how they were staring at each other and trying to get the attention instead.

“It’s a beautiful song, no wonder you love it here,” Spencer smiled at her, “do you come here often?”

She nodded, a blush flowing through her freckled cheeks, “have you ever read Tuck Everlasting? The pond here can make you young forever,” her whisper was the cutest thing. She was so full of life, personality and joy.

“I have, you’re right this feels a lot like the field from the book, what other books do you like?”

“I love books,” she lays back against the blanket ever so dramatically. “Matilda, Anne of Green Gables, Beauty and the Beast, I love every story that ends with true love and happiness, and cats.”

He couldn’t help but laugh at her explanation, knowing that feeling all too well. “I have read almost every book ever, more than the entire DC library probably."

“We dress up every week for what ever book we are reading, next week is Peter Pan if you’d like to join us? We’re here every Saturday at 11,” Y/N offered.

“You haven’t even heard me read Matilda from memory and you’re already asking me to come back?” Spencer smirked as their faces lit up.

“No way, prove it!” Amoreena shouted, shoving him lightly to encourage him to start.

“The Reader of Books,” he began, seeing the pages in his mind as he repeated the words. “It's a funny thing about mothers and fathers. Even when their own child is the most disgusting little blister you could ever imagine, they still think that he or she is wonderful.”

“Okay so you know the beginning,” Y/N teased, opening the book to a random page, “what's on page 32?”

"My name is Jennifer Honey," Miss Honey said. "How do you do, Mrs. Wormwood." Mrs. Wormwood glared at her and said, "What's the trouble then?" Nobody invited Miss Honey to sit down so she chose a chair and sat down anyway. "This", she said, "was your daughter's first day at school." "We know that," Mrs Wormwood said, ratty about missing her programme. "Is that all you came to tell us?" Miss Honey stared hard into the other woman's wet grey eyes, and she allowed the silence to hang in the air until Mrs. Wormwood became uncomfortable. "Do you wish me to explain why I came?" she said.

Amoreena thought it was the coolest thing ever, reading the page and jumping up and down when he was correct, “how did you do that?”

“I can remember every word I’ve ever read, I have a pretty interesting brain,” he explained it as overdramatic as he could, knowing she would find it magical.

“You’re so cool!” She swooned, dropping back against the blanket just as dramatically.

Y/N was all smiles, running her fingers through Amoreena’s hair and giggling slightly at the sight of her silly child. “Spencer, would you like to do the honours today?”

She handed him the book, knowing he didn’t need it. He gently opened it, starting on the first page and starting to read it the way his mother would. Bringing out voices, hand gestures, all the bells and whistles.

They were in the field together until the sun started to set, casting a purple and orange glow over the pond. Amoreena was resting in Y/N’s arms, legs extended over Spencer’s lap as they sat close. It was the most perfect Saturday he has had in a long time. Probably the best day of his life, actually.

“Matilda leapt into Miss Honey's arms and hugged her, and Miss Honey hugged her back, and then the mother and father and brother were inside the car and the car was pulling away with the tyres screaming. The brother gave a wave through the rear window, but the other two didn't even look back. Miss Honey was still hugging the tiny girl in her arms and neither of them said a word as they stood there watching the big black car tearing round the corner at the end of the road and disappearing for ever into the distance. The end.”

He closed the book softly, setting it down on the blanket and looking at them softly, “am I still invited next week?”

“Absolutely,” Y/N smiled, “I’m dressing as Tinker Bell, Amoreena will be Peter Pan, and you can be anyone else of your choosing.”

“I’ll keep it a surprise until next week,” Spencer smiled right back.

Amoreena crawled out of Y/N’s lap and leapt into Spencer’s arms, hugging him tightly in her small arms. “That was the best story ever, thank you!”

Everything in the world felt right then, hugging her back while he smiled at her mother. Y/N had a hand over her heart as she swooned, watching her daughter bond with the man who just happened to wander into their picnic.

“Can I get your number?” Y/N asked softly, “you know, so we can arrange outfits and stories as the week's pass.” She shrugged, licking her lips slightly as she blushed.

“Of course, I’m not on duty for the rest of the month, so if you wanted to go to a museum or anything, I’m free? Since I look so much like I should work there,” he teased Amoreena.

“I’m sure lovey would like that?” Y/N leaned over Amoreena’s shoulder, holding her around her waist and tickling her softly.

Lovey

It was a nickname that made perfect sense in his mind. Amoreena, the keyword being Amore, to love. She was very loveable, incredibly vibrant and full of innocence, a life that was full of possibilities, wonderful like her mother.

“We’re going to the Smithsonian tomorrow to see the Dino’s,” Amoreena’s face lit up. “Do you know anything about them?”

“Surprisingly enough, while I’m not a paleontologist, I know a lot about dinosaurs, and I might have some connections there to see the rare ones,” he exaggerated his voice again, watching her get so excited she started to run around with her arms in the air.

“You don’t have to if you’re busy,” she says softly when Amoreena is far enough away, picking flowers as she ran around.

“I’d love to, actually, thank you,” he whispers towards Y/N. “I haven’t been having the greatest week.”

“Is it okay for me to ask what you do?” She asked, just as softly as Amoreena kept running around the field.

“I’m a profiler, I consult on intense cases.”

“The strange man comment makes more sense now,” she smiled. “we’re looking for a literary historian at the library right now, I’m sure remembering every word in every book would get you hired, you know if you wanted to switch careers for something easier on your soul?”

“I have been thinking of leaving, in all honesty, I’ve actually been having more of a rough 15 years,” he tries to laugh but he just feels frustrated. “It’s been really hard.”

“For everything you see, you’re still a very sweet man, not many people would sit down and occupy his time with an autistic 7-year-old,” she complimented him with a smile, sharing something personal in a way that would fit right into the conversation and not make a big deal. “We really did enjoy your company today.”

He handed her a business card from his pocket, feeling a bit overwhelmed and emotional as he handed it to her, “I've had a wonderful time. I'm also autistic, I know what it's like to want to share the world while no one wants to listen, thank you for letting me join you. Let me know what time you’re going to the museum tomorrow and I will be there.”

Y/N’s face lit up once more, reading the card over before sliding it into her bag. “Do you want a PB&J or a ham and cheese sandwich for lunch tomorrow?”

“PB&J is a great museum lunch,” he bit his lip so he’d stop smiling, it was beginning to feel embarrassing with how much he liked her already. Not used to random kindness from smart and beautiful women.

Amoreena came running back then, handing Spencer a handful of flowers upon her arrival. “For you, Sir Knight,” she bowed as he took them.

“I bid you a good day, my fair ladies,” Spencer plaid along, standing to curtsy back.

“We’ll see you tomorrow then?” Y/N asked from the blanket as Amoreena dove into her arms.

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Spencer smiled one last time.

“Bye Spencer!!” Amoreena cheered as he waved, walking back down the path towards the main park entrance.

With his satchel draped over his shoulder, he pushed his sleeves up as he walked towards his bike, overwhelmed by the feeling of joy still swirling in his blood. Peddling his way down the path with a smile on his face, excited to get home and plan for the Smithsonian tomorrow, he was an excellent tour guide.

And he did actually have some connections.

Calling the museum curator, an old friend from years ago who owed him a favour. Asking if there was any way he could show his friend and her kid around the un-displayed dinosaurs and fossils, of course she said yes. People seemed to do anything for Dr. Reid of the FBI.

He thought about her job offer then as he hung up, reaching the train station finally and making his way back to his sad apartment. It would be nice to change things up for a bit, it’s not like he couldn’t go back to the FBI in 20 years like Rossi did.

15 years in the field and a metric fuck ton of trauma later, he was officially fed up. Opening his computer the second he got home, writing his 2 weeks notice to be forwarded to Mateo Cruz.

—

He woke up with excitement, for the first time in years.

Well, at first he was happy, then he thought about it too long. Despair creeping in, it was truly sad to think that he’s been sad for so long, desperately needing the happiness Y/N and Amoreena brought to his life.

Like when he spent time around Henry or Hank, there was something so rewarding about witnessing a child see something for the first time. Explaining the world to them, seeing their eyes widen as they enjoyed the world around them.

It was the best thing someone could do, spending the day living with the happiness of a child.

Y/N had texted him right as he woke up, the chime of a new message actually making him smile instead of panic.

Y/N: hey smartie pants, we’re thinking 11 am today. Can we meet you out front?”

Spencer: sure! You should start preparing to hear me ramble all day long. Also my I suggest bringing proper shoes for lots of walking and a backpack for the things Amoreena will get to bring home!

Y/N: oh you weren’t kidding about those connections huh?

Spencer: nope!

Y/N: well, can’t wait to see what you have in store for us! (And to hear your voice all day ♥︎)

It made his heart swell, he could swear it grew three sizes as it pushed against his ribs. Trying to break free from him and run to her, he hadn’t felt this strongly about another person in a very long time.

It wasn’t lust, it wasn’t greed, it wasn’t desperation. He didn’t just want to sleep with her or use her to fill his time, she wasn’t just another friend to occupy his days and talk to when he had to, she was special. She was interesting, she was kind, she was beautiful, she reminded him of his own mother in a strange way that made him fear Fraud was right.

He found a comfort in her that felt a little like home, like all his running led him to her. She was the end of the finish line, the cold glass of water, the euphoric pride of a job well done. She was everything good wrapped up in a beautiful bow and he was gone.

Feeling like he did when he met Ethan, Derek, or Elle for the first time, even Maeve when they were just talking on the phone, that butterfly feeling that excited him to try something new.

Y/N made him believe in possibilities again.

It felt nice to look ahead, to dream and wish of the future and not see death and destruction. Instead, dreaming of them running through the fields, flowers dancing everywhere as they hear Amoreena’s laughter. It’s how life is supposed to be.

[jungshookz]

the need for speed(dating); pjm

➺ pairing; park jimin x reader

➺ genre; sfw!! fluff!! y/n’s a goofball!! jimin’s into that!! featuring sommelier!hobi but before he finds his y/n,.. and also bartender!tae!! 

➺ wordcount; 5.7k

➺ summary; hoseok tricks y/n into attending a speed-dating event and (unsurprisingly) it doesn’t go down so well... then things gets a little better, thanks to the handsome stranger sitting at the bar. 

➺ what to expect; “please tell me you didn’t lure me here with the prospect of spaghetti and meatballs just to get me to take part in a speed-dating event for sad, single people.”

                                        »»————-　♡　————-««

“oh my god, what’s the rush?!” you stumble over your feet as hoseok continues to drag you along with him, “seriously, you need to slow down because i’m going to twist an ankle if you make me walk any faster-”

“we’re late for our reservation because you couldn’t decide on what top to wear-” hoseok scoffs and picks up his pace, your eyes widening for a split second when you actually almost fall flat on your face

“hey, i just wanted to wear something nice because you said that the place we were going to was a nice place- if you didn’t raise the standards, then i wouldn’t have raised the standards either!”

“less talking, more walking!”

you’re really not sure what possessed hoseok to want to go to a fancy restaurant tonight

pizza hut’s doing this triple treat box thing for the holidays and you suggested getting that because you get three main courses in one big box

what’s not to like?!

you weren’t even aware that hoseok had made reservations until earlier today 

he just sprung it on you that you guys were eating at a restaurant and not at the apartment tonight anD he told you to dress up nicely because of some dress-code 

“is this the part where you tell me you’ve actually been in love with me this entire time?” you joke as the two of you approach the restaurant, your eyes immediately picking up the romantic lighting coming from inside, “need i remind you, our ‘let’s get married if we don’t find anyone’ deal expires when we turn thirty, and i’m definitely not-”

“i’m not confessing my undying love for you tonight, y/n-” hoseok rolls his eyes playfully, the two of you joining the queue, “i just wanted to eat something that wasn’t fast food for once, you know?”

“you’re telling me the pizza hut triple treat box didn’t sound one bit tempting?”

hoseok pauses 

“…we’ll do that next week.”

heh

“plus, uh, you said that you wanted spaghetti and meatballs or something, right? i looked up where to find the city’s best spaghetti and meatballs, and this place came up as one of the results!” hoseok chirps, though you’re barely paying attention to him because you’ve just taken notice of one of the signs sitting by the entrance

“hey, look at that-” you point to the wooden sign before snorting to yourself, “there’s a speed-dating event taking place here tonight. i can’t wait to watch sad, single people get nervous and twitchy while talking to other sad, single people. do you think if we asked nicely, they could move us to a table where we can eavesdrop on everyone’s conversations??”

“yeah, our table is… a lot closer to the event than you think.” hoseok mutters off to the side before shoving his hands into the pockets of his trousers

“what’s that supposed to mean?” you turn to look at him, your brows knitting together in suspicion when he avoids your gaze and starts whistling a happy little tune to himself

…

…

oh my god

“hoseok,” you clear your throat quietly, hoseok’s eyes widening in alert when he notices you take a tiny step away from him, “please tell me you didn’t lure me here with the prospect of spaghetti and meatballs just to get me to take part in a speed-dating event for sad, single people.”

“well, i…” hoseok swallows, his adam’s apple bobbing in his throat

he flashes you a sheepish smile to confirm your answer

NO

“do they- do they even have spaghetti and meatballs on the menu??” you gawk, taking several steps back so you can look up at the name of the restaurant

le petit paris

oh god

this whole thing was a set-up

everything is a lie!  

this place is french

“this place is FRENCH!” you gasp, bringing a hand up to your chest in shock at this outright betrayal, “you tricked me, you slimy-” you spin around on your heels to walk back to the car, “i’m going home! no, first i’m going to get the triple treat- actually, i can’t finish that all on my own so- i’m going home, and i’m going to order that fancy ham and cheese sandwich from that one deli-”

“the fancy ham and- that’s a croque monsieur, y/n, that’s french!” hoseok snaps, “will you get back here?? you can’t go home because i’m the one who drove us here-”

“i don’t care!” you exclaim, standing at the edge of the sidewalk before looking to see if there are any taxis nearby that you can wave down, “i’m going home!”

“oh, c’mon-” hoseok gives the rest of the strangers in line an apologetic smile before rushing over to grab you before you can make an escape, “will you relax and please just-”

“hoseok, i am not doing this- are you kidding me?? you know how i feel about dating-” 

“i know, i know!” hoseok waves his arms, “but- just- you haven’t been out on any dates since you and seokjin broke up a year and a half ago...”

you immediately clam up at the mention of seokjin and you feel your entire face flush

it’s true

you haven’t made any efforts to go out and meet new people since you split with seokjin (sure, it was a mutual breakup, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt any less when he came to pick up his box of belongings at your apartment)

“and every time i tried to set you up on a blind date, you said that you weren’t ready for that yet- which, by the way, is obviously totally understandable, but-”

“but what?! there shouldn’t be a but!” you cross your arms, “all i have to say is that i’m not ready, and that should be enough of a reason to not trick me like this-”

“you use the breakup as an excuse to get out of everything, y/n!” hoseok exasperates, “remember when i asked you if you wanted to come to one of my wine-tasting courses? do you remember what you said to me?”

(“oh, you know… i would love to watch you do you thing at your… super fancy wine and cheese tasting thing, but i… i’m still grieving over the breakup! i’m, like, still devastated. super devastated. i’m in a very sensitive state, so i don’t think it’d be a good idea for me to leave my apartment, like, at all-”)

“…touché.” you mutter, reaching up to scratch the back of your neck

for the record, you felt really bad about not going to support hoseok at his fancy sommelier thing as soon as you hung up but you made up for it by going to his next one!

“plus, you look really pretty tonight and it would be a complete and utter shame to let that go to waste!” hoseok gestures to your outfit, “your ass looks great in these jeans, your legs look great in these heels, your boobs look fantastic-”

“okay, i think i get the point-”

“and you know i love hanging out with you, but… sometimes i wanna go out on dates too, you know?” he sighs, his shoulders drooping a little, “like, we can’t spend every weekend together-”

“i know that!” you frown, “you can just tell me that you have a date and can’t hang out, don’t make it sound like i’m forcing you to spend time with me-”

“i know, but i would feel bad about leaving you at home while i’m out with a potential romantic partner-”

“okay, you know what?” you raise both your hands before shaking your head, “fine. i will… i will do this one thing for you. i’m just glad we’re doing it together! because it would be awful if i went in there alone-” 

the smile drops from your face when hoseok has the audacity to press his lips together and look away from you again

“oh my- are you serious?? you’re not even doing this?? a second ago you were talking about finding your potential romantic partner!” 

“sure, but i wanna find them organically!” hoseok shrugs before scrunching his nose, “plus, i think speed dating is tacky.”

“wha-” you gawk, immediately spinning back around, “well, in that case, the only way you’re getting me in that restaurant is if you drag my cold, dead body-”

                                           »»————-　♡　————-««

“okay, if you need me, i’ll be sitting, like, right over there where you can still see me so it’ll sort of feel like we’re in this together-“ hoseok smooths the name sticker onto your shirt before giving it a pat, “but i saw a warm goat cheese puff pastry thing on the menu and i’m going to be helping myself to a big ol’ serving of that-”

“i hate you.” you interrupt, staring at hoseok blankly

“oh, you don’t mean that…” he coos, reaching up to fix a couple strands of your hair, “you’ll see! you’re going to have so much fu-”

“i hate you. and the burgundy button-up that you’re wearing looks awful on you.”

hey!

you said this was your favourite shirt on him!!!

“okay, well-” hoseok looks down at his (beautiful) top before frowning, “now you’re just trying to hurt me-”

“please don’t make me do this.” you whisper, hoseok looking up to see your eyes beginning to water, “i really don’t think i can do this.”

oh boy 

hoseok stays silent for a second as he watches your eyes beginning to well up with moRe tears 

“hey- i know it’s scary, y/n. i know.” hoseok shushes, immediately pulling a handkerchief out from his pocket to dab away your tears, “i know that it’s intimidating to... you know, throw yourself back out there after not having done this for so long, but… you have to at least try, you know?” he pulls away and gives your shoulders a reassuring squeeze, “look- if you really, really don’t wanna do this, we can just enjoy a nice meal together at this super nice restaurant that we definitely can’t afford… but do you think you can at least give it a try? please?”

“i…” you trail off, turning to look over your shoulder at the group of other sad, single people

okay

well

you suppose it wouldn’t hurt to give it a try

it’s been a year and a half!!

and if you’re going to start somewherE, you might as well start at an event that’s dedicated to helping you find love

“fine.” you sniffle, looking down and adjusting the sleeves of your blouse, “but i saw truffle fries on the menu and you’re buying two orders of that for takeout-“

“deal!” hoseok chirps, spinning you around before gently nudging you towards the group of strangers, “remember to smile! and to not talk about seokjin! ooh, and to not make any weird jokes that could scare a potential suitor away!”

“go away, you’re being embarrassing-” you hiss quietly, stepping down to enter the… pit?

you’re not sure what to call this part of the restaurant

it’s the area where hosts usually ask customers to wait while they set up a table for them 

whatever this place is called, you’re just glad that there’s a bar here because you’re definitely going to need a boost of liquid courage

the lighting is nice and dim which is great because you’re pretty sure your eyeliner is already starting to smudge from almost bursting into tears a second ago

you stand awkwardly by the stairs as you take in the scene before you

…

you haven’t even been here ten seconds and you already want to leave

what makes things worse is the fact that this isn’t one of those regular speed dating ones where you’re set up with a person and then after the timer goes off you move to the next table

no

this is one of those free, go-with-the-flow speed dating events where you just go up to anyone you want and spark up a conversation and hopefully find someone who can match your energy

and since you came late, it seems as though everyone’s already found someone else to talk to

great!

you’re the only sad, single person in this room of sad, single, but paired-up people

you look back out to the main area of the restaurant to see hoseok chatting it up with one of the waitresses

she giggles as she shakes her head, writing something down on her notepad

it seems like he’s having a good time out there

…you hope he chokes on his goat cheese pastries.

okay

what you need to do is just go for it, you know?

like, don’t even think about anything

just go up to anyone and say hello, and then you’ll wing it from that point

you wipe your clammy hands down on the back of your jeans as you make your way towards the centre of the room, looking around for anyone… who isn’t… talking to anyone… else…

ah!

you reach up to pinch your own cheeks in an attempt to loosen up your face muscles before forcing a bright smile on your face

you can do this

easy peasy!

saying hello isn’t hard

“hilo!” you greet, tapping the guy on the shoulder to get his attention

oh

never mind

turns out saying hello brings some of its own challenges

“i mean- hi.” you clear your throat, already feeling heat trickling up your chest, “sorry. i didn’t know if i wanted to say hi or if i wanted to say hello, and i guess my brain kinda just jumbled the two together-”

“hello,” he cuts you off before offering you a stiff smile, “that’s alright. i was actually in the middle of a conversation, if you don’t mind-” he points to over his shoulder at the girl standing in front of him and your eyes widen in surprise

whoopsies

“oh, gosh! i- um, i’m so sorry!” you take a small step back before raising both your hands up, “i’m sorry, i didn’t see her over your broad shoulders, so- o-oh, that wasn’t- that wasn’t me hitting on you or anything, by the way, that was just, like- your broad shoulders were just a general observation-“ you chuckle, shooting him two finger guns, “okay, yeah. you guys can go ahead and… do your thang…” you press your lips together tightly when he turns back around, focusing his attention back on his date

alright

no problem!

it’s fine

“not embarrassing at all…” you murmur lowly as you step backwards, jolting when you accidentally bump into someone

!

you whip around quickly to apologize but you don’t get a chance to because suddenly there’s a champagne flute and a dirty plate being shoved into your hands

“wha-”

“a refill would be awesome,” the brunette smiles at you, “moët and chandon, please.”

“oh, i’m not a-”

“oh, of course!” she gasps, reaching into her purse and pulling out a dollar bill, “here you go…” she narrows her eyes as she looks at your name tag, “y/n! lovely service. you’re doing a great job, girlfriend. it’s hard workers like you who make up the backbone of our society.”

“thank… you?” you stand frozen in shock when she tucks the folded bill into the shoulder of your blouse

this blouse was $200 and apparently it makes you look like a server so that’s definitely money well-spent

but also, who in their right mind would think a restaurant server would be wearing a square-necked, puffy sleeved blouse as part of their uniform?!

and why would a waiter have the exact same name sticker as everyone else participating in this speed-dating event??

“excuse me… pardon me…” you mutter as you elbow your way through the crowd, holding the dish and the glass up a little higher so you don’t get any crumbs or anything on anyone’s clothes

“oh, could you take this for me, please?”

“and this, too!”

“no, i-” you stop in your tracks when a plate is stacked on top of the one you’re already holding and you fight back the urge to let out a speechless laugh, “okay, sure, i’ll even drive you people home at the end of the night-”

to be fair, when you’re holding a dish and a glass like that, it does kind of make you look like a waiter so you can’t really blame everyone for thinking that you’re here to serve them

by the time you make your way to the bar, you’re balancing five little plates in one hand and you have four champagne flute stems held upside down and pinched in between your fingers

you let out a huff as you set everything down in the sink behind the bar, being careful not to drop and break anything

you dust your hands off, looking out towards the restaurant to see hoseok happily picking at a charcuterie board while swirling a glass of wine in his other hand

that sick, twisted bastard

…and your blouse now has a splotch of creamy white sauce on it, which is just fantastic, isn’t it?

not only do you look like a waiter, now you look like a perverted waiter!

“oh, come on…” you groan quietly, grabbing a napkin and wetting it with your tongue before reaching down to rub at it, “i just had this dry-cleaned a couple of days ago…”

so far this has been a living nightmare

but at least you got a dollar out of it!

...she could’ve given you a more generous tip, but it is what it is. 

“i feel like scrubbing it just makes it worse, no?” you hear a voice a couple feet away from you and you look up while continuing to rub at the stain

“that’s true, but i feel like dabbing it gently really doesn’t-“ you choke over your own words when your brain finally catches up to your eyes

handsome

handsome handsome handsome handsome handsome

holy handsome

the stranger tilts his head slightly, the corners of his pretty mouth pulling up into a lopsided smile, “really doesn’t…?”

“does- doesn’t, um…” you look down at the stain on your blouse as you feel your brain working overtime to spit out an answer, “doesn’t… do the thing.”

“do the thing. hm. that’s a fair point.” he hums, bringing his glass up to his mouth for a sip

you feel your heart skip a beat when you take in his pretty side profile... from the smooth, straight slope of his nose... to his pink, pillowy lips

oh, wow 

maybe there’s still some hope that this event won’t turn out to be too bad 

you stand up a little straighter when it hits you that this is your chance

this is your chance to stop being a waiter and start being a fellow speed-dater!!

“what are you drinking?” you ask, sitting down on the stool next to him before folding your arms up on the counter, “i could use a drink.”

“a gimlet.”

“a- a giblet? like… from chicken?” you frown, looking at the contents of his glass, “you’re drinking chicken giblets??”

he chokes on his sip and sets his glass down quickly before reaching up to wipe at his mouth with a napkin, turning to look at you with a smile, “no, silly. not giblet. gimlet. it’s gin, simple syrup, and lime juice.”

yeah

that makes more sense

“oh-” you snort, bringing a hand up to cover your mouth a little, “sorry. i heard giblet. but a gimlet sounds really good.”

“can i get one for you?” he asks, already raising his hand to get the bartender’s attention

“that would be nice, yes.” quickly letting out a breath when he turns to talk to the bartender

so far, so good!

you didn’t weird him out with your gimlet-giblet thing, which is a good sign

you cross one leg over the other, pausing for a second before switching legs

you hate sitting on bar stools because you can never find a comfortable position on them…

at the end of the night you’re always left with one butt cheek on the stool and one hanging oFF the stool

you settle on crossing your right leg over your left, nodding to yourself before folding your hands over your lap

this is a natural looking position, right??

you just don’t want to look like a dumbass in front of the very attractive giblet man

“everything okay?”

you look up to see that he’s turned back to face you, one arm propped up on the counter with his jaw resting against his fist

“oh! yeah.” you wave him off, “sorry… i just haven’t done this in a long time, that’s all.”

“what? sitting on a bar stool?” he jokes, the sound of his giggle immediately giving you a spurt of newfound energy, “are you enjoying yourself so far?”

“me?” you purse your lips in thought before scrunching your nose, “eh. i don’t think so. everyone thought i was one of the waiters, so i haven’t been able to really spark up any conversations because i’ve been busy collecting dirty plates and empty glasses- which reminds me, i’m pretty sure there are like, three people waiting for me to bring them champagne…“ you trail off, turning to look over your shoulder to see if there are any angry customers glaring you down

“yeah, i saw…” the stranger chuckles, “for the record, you’re actually pretty good at balancing plates! i probably would’ve dropped them all.”

“the only thing that kept me from dropping them all was the reminder that i’d probably have to pay for the damage done.”

“very, very true! and the bill would’ve been sky-high because this place is pretty fancy.”

“i know!!” you gasp, “and you can tell it’s fancy because you can pay someone else to park your car for you. like- valets are just- you know. fancy.”

“fancy.” he mimics, his knee bumping against yours as he shifts in his stool, “so, do you go to speed-dating events often?”

“oh, no.” you pause to thank the bartender as he sets down your drink on a coaster, “this is actually the first time i’ve ever been to one of these things. i didn’t even wanna come here in the first place, but my friend forced me to because he thinks i should get back into the game or whatever considering i broke up with my boyfriend, like, a year and a half ago-”

don’t make any weird jokes! don’t talk about seokjin!

hoseok’s words from earlier tonight suddenly echo in your head and you feel your cheeks grow pink

your giblet joke was pretty weird

and you just mentioned your ex-boyfriend

two for two!

you quickly take a sip of your drink before you blurt anything else out

ooh!

this is actually pretty nice 

“the, uh, the gimlet is good!” you hum, “i like the lime.”

“mhm, it’s my favourite drink.” he smiles, reaching over to gently clink his glass against yours before taking his own sip, “so your friend forced you to come and you’re not having a good time? that’s pretty rough.”

“yeah, well...” you sigh, “speed-dating is just the worst, you know? like… okay, if the hosts had set this up, like, where you get five minutes to talk to someone and then when the timer goes off, you move to the next table-”

“oh, yeah-”

“yeah, exactly- if it was like that, it probably would’ve been better, because that way no one gets left out!” you scoff, “but this freestyle just-talk-to-whoever-you-want-to type speed-dating is frankly ineffective and totally stupid, in my opinion. whoever organised this thing probably had one too many gimlets while they were planning it out…” you giggle, shaking your head, “also, i feel like organising a speed-dating event during the holidays is a little sad, you know? like… well, it’s not as bad as hosting one on valentine’s day or something, but doing it during christmas seems a little awkward, and, like… taking advantage and leeching onto sad, single people.”

“i see where you’re coming from- you know, i was at a valentine’s day one earlier this year and i’m pretty sure most of the people there were just looking to bone each other and not to make a real connection.”

“well, when you say it like that, it seems like speed-dating events are just a gateway drug into full-blown orgies-”

you bite back a grin when he chokes on his drink again before throwing his head back in laughter

wow!

this is going great!!!

you’re definitely going to have to thank hoseok if this thing with giblet man works out

of course, you should probably noT keep calling him giblet man if you want it to work out

his actual name is a crucial piece of information if you’re planning on asking him out on a proper date

“oh, by the way-” you clear your throat, “i never got your na-”

“hold on, before you say anything else, i just have to do something really quickly-” he holds his finger up to stop you before turning and getting up off the stool, your brows furrowing in confusion when he picks up the microphone sitting on the stool on the other side of him

huh

that’s a little weird

who brings a microphone to a speed-dating event?

bursting into song while everyone’s trying to have conversations with each other seems like a questionable thing to d-

“i hope everyone’s having a good time so far!” he announces, the music lowering a little bit as he continues to speak, “i just wanted to chime in and remind everyone to write down the names of whoever you’re interested in seeing again- there should be notepads and pens sitting on each of the tables…”

…

…

…

oh

oh no

oh dear GOD

you spin back around to face the bar, immediately slapping a hand over your mouth to suppress a scream of mortification when you realise that you just talked trash about the host of this event while talking to the host of the event

no wonder he didn’t have a name sticker!!! 

he didn’t even stop you! he just let you go on and on and on-

i need to get the hell out of here

you need to leave the crime scene immediately!!!!!

you down the rest of your drink before hopping off the stool, reaching up to rip your name sticker off and crumpling it up before tossing it to the side

of course 

of course this would happen to you!

out of all the people in the world, of course this would happen to you!

that’s it

you’re never going to do this again

in fact, you’re just never going to leave the apartment ever again

you’re just going to rot in your apartment and die alone, which sounds like a pretty good option to you

you should think about leaving the country while you’re at it 

you head straight for hoseok and you’re walking so quickly that your hair is practically whipping behind you

“hey! we’re leaving now-“ you hiss, grabbing hoseok’s arm and giving him a yank, “c’mon, up and at ‘em-”

“woah, woah-” hoseok smacks your hand away from him as he looks up at you incredulously, “what happened?? i just placed an order for your fries and they won’t be ready for a couple more minute-”

“screw the fries!” you duck down a little as you look towards the pit, “i just humiliated myself in front of a very attractive man and i would like to leave before i embarrass myself further-”

“well, what did you even do??” hoseok asks, scrambling to pull his credit card out of his wallet before raising an arm to flag a waiter down, “what happened??”

“oh my god, you don’t even wanna know-” you shake your head, “first, i went up to someone who was already talking to someone and i said hilo because i didn’t know if i wanted to say hi or hello and it came out as hilo- and, anyways, he basically ignored me so then i bumped into someone else and she thought i was one of the waiters which doesn’t even make any sense because i?? i’m not dressed like a waiter! i have a name sticker too!” you point to your chest before realising that you’d ripped it off a second ago, “well, i had one- okay, and then- and then this really cute guy started talking to me as i was wiping my shirt-”

“you stained your new blouse??” hoseok gawks, leaning back a little to inspect your shirt, “you just got it cleaned a couple of days ago!”

oh yeah

that’s a stain

...a very questionable looking stain-

“it was an accident-!” you groan quietly, “so, the cute guy- he started talking to me and we were having a really nice conversation- i slipped up a couple of times and made some weird jokes anD sort of brought up seokjin but-”

“oh my god, y/n-” hoseok mutters, pausing to take the chip reader from the waitress (in your panicked, rambley state, you don’t notice the way he winks at her and her girlish reaction to that)

“-somehow we started talking about speed-dating events and i just went into a rant about how tacky they are and how much i hate them a-and how much this one in particular sucked- and the next thing i know, he’s picking up a microphone and-”

“will you just get to the point?” hoseok gets up from his seat, pulling his jacket from the back of the chair

“i trash-talked the host in front of his own event!” you whine, feeling the urge to burst into tears for the second time tonight

“oh, jesus, okay-” hoseok laughs uncomfortably as the two of you hurry to get the hell out of here, “maybe you need to find someone organically too… and maybe we’ll avoid speed-dating for a while…”

“i told you we should’ve gone home!” you shiver as you step out into the cold, instinctively wrapping your arms tight around yourself

you decided not to bring a coat because you wanted to show off your pretty blouse but now you wish you’d brought one just to a) keep you warm AND b) hide your definitely-not-cum-stained waiter blouse

“this sucks! and i didn’t even get my truffle fries-!” you groan loudly, your voice dissipating into the air

“alright, shakespeare, take it down a notch-” hoseok reaches over to give you a pat on the back, “also, if you were willing to wait-”

“hey, hold on!” you stop in your tracks when you hear a familiar voice call out and you whip around to see the man you just embarrassed yourself in front of, “y/n!”

great!

and now he knows your name, too! 

“oh, god.” you turn back around, picking up your pace at the sight of hoseok’s car, “c’mon, let’s go-”

“you can’t just ignore him, he’s literally calling for you-!” hoseok grabs the back of your shoulders to stop you before turning you around, “i’m gonna wait in the car- and you better not mess up what looks to be a second chance-”

“hos-!” you don’t get a chance to turn and run after hoseok because the next thing you know-

“hey! you left your name sticker at the ball, cinderella.” mr. gimlet jogs up to you, unfurling his fist to reveal your sad, crumpled name-tag

“you came out just to bring me garbage?” you joke weakly, feeling completely drained from the events of tonight, “how romantic.”

“it’s, um, jimin, by the way.” he clears his throat, standing up straight, “that’s my name.”

“jimin.” you nod, testing the feel of his name coming out of your mouth 

jimin 

hm

you like it :-)

“i was going to tell you but when i turned around, you disappeared-” 

“well, yeah, because like-” you pause, “you’re not mad?”

“what?” he frowns, “why would i be mad?”

“because i… said all of that stuff?” you reach up to scratch the back of your head, “about… you know… stuff.”

“everyone’s entitled to their own opinion, y/n.” jimin smiles, offering you a boyish grin, “you’re a real goofball, you know that? you ran away because you thought i would be mad that you didn’t like the speed-dating event i was hosting?”

“yeah, i, uh… i full-on sprinted out of there…” you chuckle nervously, uncrumpling your name-sticker just so you have something to do with your hands, “ah, i’m sorry. i just- well, you know, i… haven’t really… done stuff like this in a while, so…”

“well,” jimin clears his throat, taking a step forward before plucking the sticker from your twitchy fingers, “you’re welcome to talk about how much you hate dates while we’re out on our date.”

“yeah, i- wait, o-our date?” you quickly look up at him before blinking owlishly, “are you- you want to take me out on a date?”

jimin smooths your sticker flat out on his palm before flipping it around to show you his number that he scribbled onto the back

he wants to take you out on a date?

...

jimin wants to take you out on a date!!!!!!!!

“of course i do!” he states as if it’s the most obvious thing in the entire world before handing the sticker back to you, “we can get wasted on giblets and you can help me plan out my next super-tacky speed-dating event.”

“oh, god-” you feel your face flush as you shake your head furiously, “i’m... so sorry...” 

“y/n, it’s fine-” jimin laughs, reaching over to hook a finger under your chin to get you to look up at him, “so... what do you say?” 

after everything that took place tonight you were sure you’d be leaving the restaurant with nothing but hoseok and two orders of truffle fries

but no!!!

here you are, being asked out by a very cute boy while his number sits right in the palm of your hand 

...this is what they’d call a christmas miracle, right?

christmas with cee 2020 masterlist

🎁what would you like from ceenta this year? 🎁

[theflyingfeeling]

I just thought that maybe a shapeshifter AU would be nice? Maybe without the "classic animals"? Things like Tommi being a bear are too obvious 🙃

Funny you should ask! In my superhero AU summary I struggled coming up with Aleksi's superpower a lot, and at some point I was almost like fuck it, I'ma make him be able to turn into a little black bat or something for no reason at all 😂 So here, have some bat!Aleksi I guess 🦇 Also, this got a little out of hand again, dunno how that happened.. 🤷‍♀️

(PS. I get the need for variation in the "Tommi is a bear" trope but I just wanna say that this bear!Tommi fic by @askeataiho is so cute and hot and y'all should read it 🥰)

(PPS. I kept repeating a certain name waaaay before it was ever mentioned, I tried to fix them all but if a few still remain, don't let it bother you too much 😅🙈)

Aleksi never really knew what the purpose of him being able to take the form of a human from time to time was; the other bats that lived in the attic of the old town church seemed to not have such a gift. Nevertheless, it provided Aleksi lots of fun he didn't get to experience as a bat, such as buying and eating ice cream from the church park's kiosk with the coins he stole from the church's collection bag (the black salmiakki one was his favourite) and watching people pass him by as he sat on a bench, sometimes hours a day. At dusk, when the atmosphere in the church park became uneasy without the protection of the daylight, especially on Friday nights, Aleksi took back his animal form and flew into the belltower, awakening his dull companions, who would then assemble in a cauldron of bats and fly out into the night, leaving Aleksi to sleep in peace.

Until one evening, his peace was disturbed by a young man rushing in to the attic. Panting heavily and drops of sweat showing on his temple, it was clear to Aleksi this man was in great distress as he slammed the small wooden door closed and looked around the room with panicked eyes. He spotted the old out-of-order organ bench and started pulling it towards the door, but it was too heavy for his slim arms. When the man slumped against the bench, the panting turning into hopeless whimpering, Aleksi took a firmer grip of the rafter he was hanging from and took his human form. He dropped himself on the wooden attic floor softly, trying not to frighten the man. It seemed the man's own sobs covered the thump of Aleksi falling on the floor, and for a while he just observed the weeping figure.

The man seemed to make an attempt at collecting himself as he took a few deep breaths before proceeding in his efforts to move the bench. Aleksi figured he should make his presence known to the man.

"Hi."

The man jumped and held a hand to his chest, falling on his bottom on the floor as he turned to Aleksi's direction. He didn't say anything, but his eyes were wide open, filled with fear.

"Are you alr--"

"Don't touch me!" the man shouted and backed off towards the closed door through which he had appeared just a moment ago.

"I won't," Aleksi answered and lifted his hands in a conciliatory gesture. "I mean no harm."

The man was trembling as he looked at Aleksi, the moonlight from the attic window revealing the wet trails striping his cheeks.

"What are you doing here?" the man asked him.

"I, umm, I sort of live here? What are you doing here?"

"You can't live in the belltower," the man ignored his question. His gaze averted from Aleksi as he looked around the room, as if looking for something.

"I don't know what to tell you," Aleksi shrugged. "Tell me, why are you here?"

The man was still breathing heavily, his back pressed against the door.

"I'm not going back there," he said with a chocked-up voice.

"Back where?"

More deep breaths, then an unsettling answer.

"The cage."

Aleksi was not keen on knowing the details of that.

"Is there someone after you?"

The man nodded. He pursed his lips together, and Aleksi feared he was going to start crying again.

A loud slam sounded from somewhere below them, and the man looked at Aleksi like he was his last lifeline.

"Let's move this thing then," Aleksi stepped to the bench and started pushing it. After a moment's consideration, the man seemed to understand what Aleksi was doing and came to help.

When the bench was finally in front of the door, blocking it from opening, should someone try to come in, they collapsed against it, soaked from sweat.

Aleksi took a moment to observe the man next to him. His shoulder-length blond hair was messy and dirty, and his dark red leather vest was ripped from the seam, as if he had been in a fight. There were large holes on the knees of his pants, although during his hours of people-watching, Aleksi had figured it must have been more a stylistic choice rather than a sign of low-quality garments.

Then he saw that the side of the man's pantleg was soaked in something red.

"Are you hurt?"

But before Aleksi got his answer, there was loud banging on the door behind their backs. Aleksi got so frightened that he changed into his bat form and flew to the ceiling. He watched as the man looked around himself, eyes widened with panic and fear again, until he dived behind a pile of assorted planks and ropes and crumbled concrete, just in time to hide himself when the door was broken and two men entered the room. One of them was holding a hand net, the other wielding a gun.

"Did you see it come here?" the other asked.

"I swear," the one with the gun replied.

Aleksi held his breath as they approached the blond man's hideout. He had seemed so shaky and troubled that Aleksi found it impossible to let the intruders get him, whatever they were planning on doing with him if they did.

He didn't hesitate as he flew towards the man with the net, slapping his face with his wings as he flew by. The man yelped and, attempting to swat the bat away from his face, ended up shoving his friend who swore loudly and dropped his gun on the floor. Aleksi kept flapping his wings rapidly at the men's face level, until suddenly he felt his wings get tangled in something and he was pushed to he floor.

"God, I hate bats. Always given me the creeps," the man muttered. To his horror, Aleksi realised he had been caught in the hand net.

"Now where is that stupid creature?"

"Chh-chh-chh, come here puss, where are youuuu," the other man called.

"You gonna catch it with your bare hands, huh?"

"Can't be that bad, have you seen the size of it? My nana's old ragdoll's bigger than that pathetic little thing. Hell nah I'm gonna let that bat to my face again," Aleksi's capturer said and spat at his direction. "Besides, we've got that anesthetic shot of yours for that purpose, don't we."

The men tiptoed around the attic, and Aleksi tried to untangle himself from the net, but he only seemed to get himself more trapped.

When both men's backs were turned to the pile of planks, Aleksi saw a shadow climb up a log pillar, up to the rafters above their heads. The shadow stopped moving, with only a short stripe of it swaying from left to right. To Aleksi, it looked like a tail.

"You sure it came here? I mean, I'm not sure that bat would still be alive if-"

"That cripple of a cat couldn't catch a mouse if it was given to it on a silver plate. Now shut up, or I'll shut it for you."

"Always a pleasure working with you..." the other man mumbled under his breath. The shadow near the ceiling tensed as the men kept on squabbling.

When the one with the gun straightened his back and grunted, touching a hand to his lower back, the shadow made its move and jumped to his neck with an angry hiss.

The man screamed and dropped his gun again, and when he twisted and turned with the attempt to get the shadow off his back, the light from the window showed Aleksi what the shadow really was: a dark-furred feline, with long claws that shone in the moonlight as they scratched the man's pale skin.

The other man was paralyzed, deaf to his friend's pleas for help, until the feline jumped back to the rafters and kept hissing at the man from there.

"Fuck this, the boss can come get his rabid rat himself," said the man who the feline had attacked, holding his palm against his neck. "Let's get the fuck out of here."

The men left, their swear words echoing in the bell tower as they went. When the voices quieted down, the feline jumped on the floor, and in a blink of an eye, the blond-haired man was crouching next to Aleksi, untagling his wings from the net. Once free, Aleksi took back his human form as well, immediately finding the other man's eyes and locking their gaze with his.

For a minute they just looked at each other as the realization of what just happened hit them.

"You're like me," Aleksi whispered.

The other man said nothing, but didn't flinch away when Aleksi shuffled closer, both of them sitting on their knees on the floor.

"What did the men want with you?"

The man swallowed and spoke:

"There's an exhibition," he said, "for creatures like you and me."

"What's an exhibition?"

The man shook his head.

"They put you in a cage and on display for people to gawk at you and throw you peanuts. Screaming at you to do the thing. Pray you'll never see it with your own eyes."

Aleksi made a mental note to keep that in mind for the next Sunday mass.

"But you escaped," he noted. He glanced at the dark stain on the man's pant leg. It seemed to have grown since the last time he was in his human form.

"I did. But the others stayed behind."

Aleksi looked at the man in the eye again. He noticed the unusually bright shade of blue in them.

"Do you have a name?" Aleksi asked the man.

"They call me Joel," he answered.

"I'm Aleksi."

Joel was quiet for a while before he opened his mouth again.

"Who gave you that name?"

Aleksi was aware of the name-giving tradition humans had; he had been a witness to enough christenings to have figured it out. One time he had heard the name Aleksi being given to an exceptionally calm baby (normally they all screamed in horror as the priest poured water on them; sometimes Aleksi sneaked in the sacristy to make sure the water they used for such events would be lukewarm enough to not cause the poor babies any discomfort). He didn't know much about names, but Aleksi sounded nice when he said it out loud.

"Myself," he smiled shyly. He felt oddly proud about it. Joel accepted his answer with a nod.

"I'm sorry they hurt you, Aleksi. It's my fault."

"Out of the two of us, it looks like you're the one who's hurt," Aleksi pointed at Joel's leg.

"It's just a scratch," Joel dismissed Aleksi's concern. It didnt seem like just a scratch to Aleksi, but he didn't want to argue.

"We should get you out of here. In case they come back. I know a place where you'll be safe." The place Aleksi had in mind was a cave in the nearby forest, where he sometimes followed his fellow bats when he was bored enough. It was cold and damp and he didn't like it there very much, but he supposed it would serve as the perfect bolthole, at least until they figured out something better.

"No," Joel objected, "I can't leave without my friends."

Aleksi tried to understand; he had never had any friends, if the friendly man selling him ice cream didn't count.

"I see," he said, disappointed about the fact he'd lose the only creature he had ever met that was like him.

Suddenly Joel touched his hand, and Aleksi's breath caught in his throat.

"Will you help me rescue them?"

The blue eyes stared at him. How would they do it, a clueless bat and an injured cat? What use would they be in plotting the escape of many more like them?

Yet, he heard himself answer:

"Yes."

[thefallenbibliophilequote]

Wildest Dreams

Loki x Reader

1989, chapter 9

"He only saw her in his dreams."

Summary: It's hard to find the one, but even if you do find him it's always going to be a daily struggle to make it work. Can you even make it work after he broke your heart? The answer to that is complicated, but it all started when you found each other again in the stark tower- and that's where our story begins.

Word count: 3,695

Warnings: language as always, angst and some tiny fluff (probably not in the way you want), alludes to sex, Odin. one malec reference.

A/N: okay so, this chapter is different since it is mainly introspective about Loki's time in the 6 months he has been back in Asgard- so that's that about the timeline.

A/N2: I really hope you'll like it so let me know by reblogging and commenting! If you want to be on my taglist let me know by sending an ask! Thank you @chrissquares for the dividers! and the amazing @nacho-bucky

No one is allowed to repost my writing or steal or copy my work! Reblog on tumblr is fine.

Series masterlist

Song on Spotify and YouTube

Month one in Asgard.

"Brother I assure you all will be well. I'll make sure she will be safe." Thor had told him that before he left for Midgard.

The gesture was nice but while he did want you to be safe he didn't want to know who you are hanging with.

You'll find a way to move on and so will he. Once this all will be over Loki will finally get some peace and his life will return to normal, nothing lasts forever after all.

Life as a prince was supposedly comfortable, and so a prince's chambers should be as well. But as he was lying on the big soft bed in his large room, he couldn't have felt more alone. The bed was too big, the sheets were too cold, and the surfaces of the room were too empty of life- he could find a million faults to his room if he tried.

Loki didn't stay in his room often then, as a prince he could do whatever he wants and he could go anywhere he wants- well, almost.

Sparring was a great hobby he developed when he was angry, having a chance to politely beat down another person often sounds delightful to him then. It was almost empty now at the sunset but he found an opponent.

He could feel and hear his own heartbeat as he took in a breath and looked into the sunset as the warrior took his stance in front of him.

'The Norse Gods are almost immortal.'

The sentence lingered in your head. Maybe buying this book was a bad idea. At the knock on your door you quickly shut the book and shoved it under the sofa cushion.

A moment later Loki walked in with a batch of freshly picked flowers, they didn't look like they were from around here, you only hoped these flowers can survive on their own so you wouldn't kill them.

"Hello my love, are you ready for our date?" you got up to him with a smile, he put the flowers in a vase that appeared on your table, once he was in your reach you gave him a peck on the lips.

"Yes, let's go!" The relationship was still new but you were happy that you still had that same chemistry that the two of you had before.

That sentence kept your mind busy as you drove out of the city, away from the crowd of people and into a high solitary space.

"I could've just teleported us there my love, you know that right?" he looked at you as you drove, the sun was shining over you and he couldn't look away. The view of you in the sunlight with your best dress and red lips is easily more stunning than anything he had seen in all the realms.

"Yes, but it's more fun this way." You insisted on having some of the dates be normal and human.

"How is driving for such a long time fun?" you saw him shake his head from the corner of your eyes.

"Just relax Loki, I'll put on some great driving songs." He groaned but you only laughed.

It was an hour or so later that you reached your destination- it was an amazing view seeing all the trees and rocks as you finally parked on the dry ground of the mountain hill spot you found for Loki and you.

Loki stepped outside and laid out the picnic you packed up as you looked down on the beautiful horizon as the sun began to set.

Loki came up behind you and curled his hands around your waist.

You could've stayed in that content moment forever. The sentence still lingered in your brain.

"Loki?" you called to him and he only hummed in response, his lips kissing your hair.

"Yes, darling?"

"Say you'll remember me." You asked him in a low voice.

"What?"

"Say you'll remember me, here at this moment, standing in a nice dress and staring at the sunset with you."

"I promise you my dear," he kissed your shoulder and you felt him smiling. "Every time I see you, I'll remember this moment. I'll relish it forever."

•

Month two in Asgard.

It was different, spending the time with her here was nothing like being with you there- but maybe that's a good thing.

He was trying to get used to all the same emotions he felt all those years go. The regret, the knowing that he has to let go completely, the anger and temporary solutions, and then there's the sadness.

It was a familiar process, but having you again just reminded him of everything he lost and how everything has changed after he first let you go.

The first time he let you go, it almost killed him. And now he didn't know how his own mind would work to survive this.

He spent days in meetings and peace negotiating. His father kept him busy whether it was with Iyllir or work, it didn't matter.

She was excited about the wedding- their wedding. He chimed him whenever she asked for his opinion.

"What do you think about the flowers? Besides the ones I already picked of course." The lady smiled at him and waited for his answer. Anything besides your favourite flower would be fine.

The only real thing in this month for him was the work he was doing- negotiating peace was not an easy task. Granted, he could've solved it long ago but where is the fun in that?

"It was a wise choice to listen to my advice. I'm sure your decision to marry soon to be Princess Iyllir will make everyone happy." Odin told Loki as he followed the Allfather into yet another meeting. Entering the room, Loki looked at the blonde who sat next to his seat- he wasn't supposed to be in this meeting.

Taking the seat next to him, Thor smiled at his brother.

"Brother," Loki greeted him and continued to look forward at the table. "Are you not supposed to still be in Midgard?"

"I am, but I returned for a bit," Thor lowered his eyes then. "I heard about the marriage, I'm happy for you."

His pat on the back felt gentler than the usual forceful ones. To Loki it was quite unsettling.

"To be quite honest, I thought you won't do it because-"

"Thank you brother, I look forward to the marriage, it's the right choice."

"Is it?" Thor asked his brother lowly, the meeting was already starting and Loki didn't respond but it was probably best to leave this topic for now. Thor had never seen his brother the way he was when he was with you, it was clear that you mean a lot to him, so it made it that much more worrisome that Loki was going to go through with the arranged marriage. Thor knew Loki would've easily gotten out of it if he wanted to.

•

Present day on Midgard.

"Why are you all staring at me?" Thor stood there with all of his friends from work looking at him silently.

Natasha was the one to break the silence, "Y/N has been kidnapped and we think the Asgardian problem that we have on our hands right now was the cause of it."

"Y/N has been kidnapped?" His brows furrowed and he put his hammer on the table. "When did this happen?"

"Last week, you weren't here."

"I had to attend a ball for my brother and…" he trailed off.

"Right, I'm sure the wedding was lovely." The captain retorted.

"We really don't need to talk about," Wanda started and looked between Pietro and Clint.

"The wedding hasn't occurred yet." Thor settled in a seat right in front of Steve. "Did you manage to find out where she might be?"

"If we did then she would've been home by now."

"No, we've got nothing so far." Nat glared at Steve before she returned to look at Thor.

"Well you could've told me sooner, I'm sure my brother will be able to help."

"What? Are you crazy?" Steve let out a bitter laugh and stood up. One of his hands was a fist on the table and the other was pointing at Thor. "He is not coming anywhere near here."

The dark tone in Steve's voice left no room for arguments. Tony only heard it once before and so he took Steve out of the room before anything could happen.

•

Month three in Asgard.

"I see that you've read the books that I recommended you already." Iyllir sat next to him on the dark blue couch in the large palace library. Gold and blue were all around and the smell of old books filled the air.

"Yes they were very interesting," She put a hand on his arm delicately. "You have incredible taste in books my prince."

He nodded at that and quickly picked up one of the books from the pile that was set aside on the table. The guide to the old weapons of the nine realms- he remembered reading it as a child, he used to sneak into the vaults and look around at all the hidden things he found there that he read about in his books. Whatever he didn't recognize he would pick it up and study it. There may have been a couple of accidents there- but come on, what did you expect?

Now the book let his mind wander to the happenings on earth. He heard Thor talk about how it is going there in hushed whispers, but he never stuck around to actually hear anything in fear it would be about you.

He didn't need to know how you were doing, who you were hanging with or what you were up to.

"Loki?" He got snapped out of his thoughts. He looked back at Iyllir who had an unreadable look on her face, he found it hard to read people when he was so caught up inside his own mind, but her face soon took on a gentle smile. "You drifted off a bit. You're here with me now, there's no need to dwell over anything- so let's leave this book aside, it seems to put you in a bad mood."

Iyllir took the book from his hands and put it behind her. She then linked her hand with his and caressed his arm, her head leaning on his shoulder.

His mind now wandered to her and their wedding that was coming soon. Iyllir did manage to put herself in his mind where you should be, so maybe this was the right call after all.

Loki smiled at her and they continued to engage in conversation.

•

Month four in Asgard.

It was hard to admit that he enjoyed Iyllir's company.

Her lips were soft, and he appreciated the way they made thoughts disappear from his brain.

"Did you really turn into a snake?" Iyllir's laugh joined his as he recalled the memory.

"He was quite shocked, we were eight at the time."

"That was quite clever of you, my prince." She laughed and let her head fall onto his chest as they lay in his bed, covered in green silky sheets.

"Well, I'm always clever."

"Now you're just giving yourself too much credit, you are not always clever." You laughed at him.

He shook his head and turned back to her.

"What do you think about going out of the castle for a bit, go for a couple of days to a small cabin far away from other asgardians just the two of us?"

She nodded enthusiastically and leaned up to a kiss.

•

"This place is beautiful, but I wish we would've brought maids with us- you shouldn't do any of these things, you're a prince. I sent a letter so hopefully the servants will get here soon."

"Oh, I was quite content with using my magic, but how thoughtful of you."

"Now you'll get to spend more time with me." She whispered to him and walked over to him, putting her hands around Loki's neck.

He pulled her closer.

"That is true." He said in between kisses, moving the two of them backwards until Iyllir's knees touched the bed.

"You know, it is not really proper for a man and woman to be in bed together like this before their wedding night." She moaned at the kisses he trailed down her neck.

"When did I ever care about such formalities, my dear?" she let out a breathy laugh as he laid her on the mattress and he hovered above her. "And I know for a fact that you don't either."

Loki was in bed, opening his eyes and seeing the redheaded girl still sleeping next to him, her bare back shone in the sun. They were twisted in bed sheets, and Loki looked back up at the ceiling and tried to go back to sleep, closing his eyes.

"Loki, come cuddle me, I'm cold." Your sleepy voice called out to him.

"Okay, love." He moved himself closer to the body next to him. Opening his eyes for a second, he got snapped back to reality when he realized that you weren't the one in his bed, he was cuddling someone who wasn't you.

He shook his head and tried to fall asleep when Iyllir pressed back against him.

•

Month five in Asgard.

The ballroom was massive and adorned with gold and touches of green. The people there were ecstatic about the upcoming wedding.

The crowded room was full of people drinking mead and eating and dancing. But it all seemed just a bit too much for him.

Never in his wildest dreams did he think this will happen to him that this would be his life. Every girl was here with the most beautiful dresses but all he could remember was you, dancing with him in your best dress, you could easily beat any girl here with that dress and your beauty.

Loki was seated next to the Allfather and Iyllir, watching over the room as more and more new asgardians came to pay their respects and congratulate the happy couple. Thor came up behind them and patted Loki on the back before he took him away to drink.

According to Thor it was a necessity.

After that he had a dance with his soon to be wife, only a few kisses were engaged, Loki didn't like being as affectionate out in the open, in front of so many people.

The dance ended and the mead started to kick in, and if he was honest it was quite amusing to see Thor drunk as he talked, or more so yelled, to his friends.

After the ball he didn't see Thor as much, he must be busy with… whatever that was happening on Midgard. He won't let himself think too much about it, so he kept himself busy with wedding preparations and council meetings.

He spent the month buried in work during the day, and clearing his head during the night.

•

Present day in Midgard.

"Tony, I already told you that her powers don't have any energy trackers that we can build on."

"Bruce, we already scoured hydra bases. We found no information about her." Tony looked at the screen in front of him before pushing it aside, startling Bruce. "Sorry."

The doors to the lab opened and they turned to see Thor coming in with a short smile.

"Have you got any news about Lady Y/N?" he looked around the room anxiously, his next words would certainly get a reaction from the two scientists. "Do you need my brother's help?"

"Thor, I don't think that's a good idea." Tony exchanged a look with Bruce and he rubbed his eyes. "But no, we still don't know where she is."

"Why refuse his help?" Thor's voice grew louder. He then looked at the door when it opened for Steve and Wanda.

"We already told you Thor, we don't want his help." Steve chuckled darkly, so Wanda put her hand on the captain's shoulder then, trying to ease the tension.

"Thor, this isn't something Loki can help with, this is hydra."

"He will still do whatever he can, he still cares for her-"

"Besides, he is probably busy preparing for his wedding, isn't that right?"

"You are being judgmental Steve," Thor came towards Steve. "You're not thinking rationally."

"Oh I am judging him just right. If you're only here to try and vouch for your brother than you may as well go."

"Steve!" Wanda called him but he didn't budge his stare from the Asgardian prince.

Thor left shortly after.

Steve ignored the stares.

•

"Father, the elves are calming down, if we send some aid we could make sure peace is settled." Loki talked to his father in the throne room.

"If we send aid, they could use it against us. They could just be faking submission." Loki held back a laugh.

"I'm not the god of lies for nothing father, I'd be able to tell if they were faking it. Trust me about this." The doors opened with a bang, shutting behind the blonde prince as he strode towards Loki.

"My son, what are you doing here?"

"Loki," Thor ignored his father and Loki got up and looked at Thor at the strange occurrence. "Y/N has been kidnapped, you need to come back."

"She what?" His heartbeat sped up and he could feel the warm sensation of anger rise in him from the fear.

"Who is this girl?" Odin looked between his two sons when none answered. "Thor?"

"A girl from Midgard, she's an Avenger." He looked over Loki and nodded his head, he needed to be the one to talk.

"She's just a girl that I knew from Midgard." He said to his father with his jaw clenched, then he turned to Thor. "Thor, what happened?"

"They think she's got taken because of her powers, or because of the Asgardian technology that was stolen."

"My sons, you will answer to the questions I pose. Now tell me, what powers does she posses? If she has a part in the problem we have on Midgard then I deserve to know that."

Thor nodded, encouraging Loki to speak up.

"She has the power to insert herself into people's minds and control what they see and feel." He shook his head at his father. "She has no role in this father, she should not be mixed with Asgardian business."

The Allfather was quiet then before he shifted in his throne.

"Son, you know her for quite some time isn't that right?" Loki nodded and looked down.

"And you seem to care for her, too." He was no longer asking but Loki found himself nodding anyway. "Did she know about you being an Asgardian?"

"Yes, she knew who I was."

"So have you ever used your magic on her?" Loki was halfway into shaking his head before he stopped and remembered that night he spent comforting you, sitting on the tile of your bathroom.

"Only once," he thought back at the ancient spell.

"Tell me now my son, has it ever crossed your mind that such powerful magic as the one you have will affect a mortal immensely?"

"What are you saying father?" Thor looked up at Odin.

"It was a powerful spell…" Loki was still in thought about his actions that night, he must have been emotional.

"Her powers can be of Asgardian source, the mortal's powers sound like old Asgardian magic- the reality stone that was stored here long ago. The spell must have been from those ancient time, and so it stored immense powers- the kind that a mortal could not bear."

"So is that why they took her? Because of my magic, they took her because of me." Loki mumbled to himself.

"Loki, no don't say that-"

"It's true Thor! I'm going to get her back." Loki didn't wait for Odin to object before he all but ran out of the door. Odin didn't object.

"Thor, go after him. If he finds her, he will find the rest of the stolen weapons." Thor nodded to his father before following his brother.

•

Steve looked at the papers scattered on the lab.

"This is a nightmare."

"I've had better nightmares." Natasha spoke from next to him. "You should go rest a bit, you look like hell."

He smiled at her but it barely reached his eyes. You were a part of his family, losing you is not an option. He didn't know where you were and he didn't want to think about what you may be going through.

He wasn't the only one who cared about you, he knew that, but it still felt like they don't understand.

He turned around to go get water, when he almost ran into someone.

Looking up he saw the blue eyes of the raven haired prince. His tiredness suddenly disappeared when he took in the cold demeanor and rage filled eyed.

"I've been away for six long months and meanwhile you let her get kidnapped just like that?" Loki's voice was low and Steve didn't notice Thor walk in right after Loki, he didn't hear Bucky calling him.

"You are not welcome here Loki, and don't talk about it as if it isn't your entire fault."

The answer he got was in a dark laugh.

"Oh captain, I'm afraid I'm way past asking permission." Loki moved past him. "How long was she gone?"

"Almost a month," Bucky replied, looking between Steve's clenched posture and the same one that Loki held. "Can you find her?"

"I'll do whatever it takes." He nodded to the soldier and Bucky recognized the vulnerability in his eyes.

"Her powers are Asgardian, they came from me." Loki looked at the different screens, the room was quiet. "Doctor Banner, do you think you could track my energy signature? She should have some part of it inside her."

Loki looked back at the doctor, awaiting a response.

"Yes, I will just need to take some of your-"

"Take what you need."

•

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