#this ones totally on her we were talking about something something childhood friends how we both lost them and i said this lyric is so us

[mothdruid]

Within the past 72 hours the TGM fandom got a fire put under it's ass, for lack of a better term/phrase. Even though I'm not as active in the fandom anymore, it did make me want to talk about a few things. This isn't the first time that I've had to make a post similar to this, usually speaking about reblogs and keeping your fanfic writers feeling wanted within the fandom spaces, but today I'm going to talk more about fandom etiquette and my experiences in fandom spaces. So, if you want to hear my opinion on fandom etiquette, how I learned fandom etiquette, and my thoughts about the doxing situation that has happened, keep on reading.

My Fandom Experience.

The first fandom that I was ever a part of was The Hunger Games fandom in the 8th grade (if you don't include my anime fandoms). I was 12-13 at the time. This was when I was first introduced to Tumblr and being involved within a fandom online. At the time I was super young, barely even knew who I was as a person, let alone in a fandom space. All I did was reblog little gifsets and fawn over Josh Hutcherson. I remember getting my first hate anon, even though I didn't do anything that would generate that to even happen. Even when I was 12-13, I couldn't understand why anyone would send a hate anon. That was when I found out a friend of mine found my Tumblr and actually secretly hated me, so she sent me hate anons. Still, before I knew it was her I didn't understand.

Fandoms were a formative part of my childhood. I think that main one that helped form me though was the Supernatural (yeah, I know, eye roll), Naruto, and The Hobbit fandoms. I had made friends on Tumblr and Instagram through these fandoms. During these times was when I had first started consuming fanfiction. Specifically, destiel and thilbo fanfiction. This is how I started to find the things in fanfiction that I loved, and the things that I hated. Instead of sending hate to the writers for their thoughts and stories that I didn't agree with, I would back out of the story or just scroll past. Not only that, I also started to use the filters on AO3 constantly, ensuring that I was only reading the fics that I knew I'd enjoy. Also, I was careful to read warnings and tags prior to reading the fic. Never once did I blame the writer for something that I knew I didn't like and accidentally read or read for see what it was about.

After high school was when I started getting into fanfiction writing. I've written for a lot of fandoms during this time. The IT movies, Total Drama, Haikyuu, Attack on Titan, Marvel, Bridgerton, Top Gun: Maverick, and currently ASOIAF. As a writer I've never gotten hate, thankfully, but I have had a lot of friends that have. It's sad to see so many people who take the time to write, whether it's enjoyable or not, receive hate. As writers we are simply expressing our creativity for the things that we love. Since posting fanfiction on tumblr, I have experienced a lot of people pestering for new updates and when the next fic is, and so have a lot of other writers on here. Even though people only know us as a little icon and username, fanfiction writers are people. We have lives outside of writing fanfiction. Everyone also isn't the same type writer. One person may easily write multiple fics every week, some of us take longer, and some of us are even just passion writers (me lol).

The TGM fandom has been one of the most negative fandom experiences I've ever seen/had. It is full of some of the meanest people/anons I've ever seen. From writers being attacked for fic ideas, people being sent hate for something that the anon has full control over, and people constantly expecting new stories to read on the daily. Yes, I do know that other fandoms have these issues, but it seems to be almost a weekly, hell, even daily thing within this fandom. A lot of the issues that I see happen in this fandom are from people who don't understand fandom etiquette.

Fandom Etiquette.

If you had noticed there was a few things I put in bold above. These are key things that I learned during my time that attribute to fandom etiquette. So without further a do, I'll list out some fandom etiquette rules that I follow all the time.

Don't send hate anons to people

Block/unfollow people you don't like

If you don't like an idea or fic, don't read it

Read through all warnings and tags that the writer provided

Use AO3 filters

Don't blame the writer/creator for reading things they created that you actively know you don't like

Writers/Creators aren't "content farms"

There are people behind these blogs/usernames, treat them like someone you'd see on the street

Writers/Creators are expressing love/passion for something, don't hate them for doing that

If you see something fandom related that you don't like, scroll past it or ignore it

YOU CURATE YOUR OWN EXPERIENCE (ESPECIALLY ON TUMBLR)

The Doxing Situation.

For those who are unaware but decided to read this anyways, recently there was a writer (Mama Mayhem) on here who got doxed from another writer in the fandom. Mayhem has since lost her job due to the doxing. This was apparently from her breaking HIPAA by posting a picture into a private groupchat/discord. This picture was posted almost a half year ago. Meaning that the person who reported/doxed Mayhem had known about this picture for months and only recently decided to do something about it.

I'll start by saying that I also work in healthcare, and know many other people here who do. I understand that a HIPAA violation is 100% an offense that gets you fired. I'm not excusing the HIPAA violation if one did occur.

Some people have brought up the idea that maybe the person that reported the picture, and doxed Mayhem, was doing it out of the goodness of their heart. Due to the timeline of it all, that doesn't seem likely. I had a previous coworker get fired for HIPAA violations and it took a total of a week from the initial report for her to be gone.

The biggest thing I want to convey is that TWO WRONGS CAN HAPPEN AT THE SAME TIME. Yes, if Mayhem violated HIPAA, it is wrong. But at the same time, the person held onto this information for months only to use it out of spite, pettiness, and cruelty, is wrong.

My Thoughts.

Due to Mayhem being doxed, a lot of people have decided to leave this platform, take indefinite hiatuses, stop writing, or move to AO3 exclusively., and I don't blame them. I'll be honest, I'm thinking about moving to AO3 exclusively now. AO3 feels a lot more rewarding in my experience. I already only post my fics for ships to AO3, so why not just post everything on AO3 (which I usually do).

I think a lot of people have forgot what it feels like to feel shame in something they say or do. When I say this, it's directed towards people who send hate or do other malicious things in fandom spaces. Fandoms were never this clique-ish and mean. I think it has to do with the pandemic, meaning that a lot of people who would have never joined a fandom did because they weren't allowed to do anything outside of their house. So, those mean girls that made fun of fandom girlies (g/n) previously, joined the fandoms and decided started bullying the people within them.

This situation is super shitty and people are now scared. It makes complete sense, especially after seeing someone, that many of you were close to, be doxed. A lot of people are scared of it happening to them now. I don't think this fandom will be the same after this situation, but who knows, maybe everyone will just forget and move on. Either way, I think I'll be taking a step back from the TGM fandom. I'll still be here, but until further notice, I won't be posting any TGM fanfiction. Maybe a gifset/picture here and there, but I don't think this is a fandom I feel comfortable writing for anymore.

If you've read all of this, thank you.

[iloveyouitisruiningmylife]

how do you get such pretty pics where can i find them

@daydreamsandloveletters

[delwrites]

Hey 😚 i saw you were open to request so here i am haha but totally fine if you wanna skip it tho

Ive been really into friends to secret lover trope lately

Could you write a james x reader were childhood friend and around their sixth year in hogwarts they realized their feeling and they started to secretly dating and no one knows!

The story could focus on how they got caught? Maybe a slip up during an argument? Or that reader looks so beautiful james just couldn’t help it? Or just plain old getting caught making out in the broom closet? 😅

Hey angel, thanks so much for the request! <3

Having been friends with James since your meeting him in your guys’ first year, you pride yourself on knowing all of his little habits, able to read him like a book. So when you were curled up on the sofa, himself sprawled out across the armchair beside you huffing and puffing away, it was more than obvious to you that something was up.

“Okay, what’s wrong?” you ask, turning your body as best you can to fully face him, brows creasing as you do so. He only hums inquisitively at this, refusing to look at you as he appears to find his own hands much more interesting, fidgeting away.

“Seriously, Jamie, what’s up?” At your further questioning, he lets out one big sigh as he swings his legs over from where they had been previously stretched out over the handles of the armchair, now sat how the design permitted. 

“Sirius said something to me today, got me thinking…” Realising that that was all he was willing to give you right now, you spin back around with your own huff, hugging one of the common room cushions to your chest. You know James was never too good with words, so a lot of the time you’d appreciate his choosing to stay quiet instead of stumbling over thoughts he could never fully get across.

“Hey, love?” you hum in response, eyes trained on the fire dancing before you. James’ presence always comforted you, and that paired with the warmth emanating before you made your eyes droop more than you’d like to admit. 

“Would you like to go to Hogsmead with me this weekend?”

“Oh, sure” you reply, letting a dopey smile overtake your face. “We can invite Frank and Alice, I’ve been meaning to get her back for coffee-”

“No, darling, I meant just us two?” The implication made you suck in a breath, head whipping round to study any change in his features.

“You mean like.. Like a date?” 

He smiles at you, a heartwarming grin that makes your stomach flip. You’re not too sure where this sudden taking to you has come from, you’d always thought you’d stay in the friend zone forever, doomed to an unrequited love from the most oblivious man you’ve ever known. Of course, your friends had tried to convince you otherwise. Mary would nudge you gently every time she caught James staring at you, to which you’d always brush her off one way or another, making up excuses so as to not get your hopes up. 

Who would’ve guessed that all this time, he was thinking the same about you?

You had both agreed to not tell anyone about your date until you had figured stuff out between the two of you, wanting to be secure in what the other was feeling before going public with anything. It seemed the most sensible thing to do.

But when the day of the date came, you found yourself frustrated at not being able to tell anyone. No one to help pick an outfit out, no one to help you with your hair, no one to talk to. As much as you hated it, you made a promise to James.

 There was a close call where he dragged you by your wrist into a dingy alleyway after having spotted Dorcas as she left a quaint bookshop, holding you against a wall with a finger pressed to his lip in a hush motion, hand placed on your hip to keep you still and steady, lest you run out and make yourselves known. To say the whole ordeal made your heart skip a beat would’ve been an understatement, and the sneaking around was absolutely riveting. 

So you found that what was even more frustrating, was not being able to tell anyone how good the date went. He had greeted you with a bouquet of flowers, charm placed on them to never wilt as well. He had been a gentleman the whole afternoon (he normally is anyway, but even more so this time). He had held every door open for you, even pulling out your chair for you, and paid for the whole ordeal. You felt so safe with him walking next to you, a certain pride overcoming you knowing that he liked you, and you liked him, and gosh he liked you. It was overwhelming and you longed for someone to share it with. But James had your word, and the last thing you wanted to do was mess things up with him. So, you kept your mouth shut, painful as it was.

The next few weeks consisted of you sneaking around everywhere, and although it started off as exciting, you were really starting to get tired of keeping such a daunting secret from your closest friends. There was a lot of sneaking out after curfew to have midnight picnics on the astronomy tower, consisting of snacks James had nabbed from the Great Hall during dinner. A lot of sneaking off with the promise of the bathroom on your lips to professors, instead meeting up just to get these little snippets of alone time with each other, before any of your friends could catch on, let alone someone like Minnie. 

You thought finally going on dates with James Potter would be a good thing, but you came to find that you hated it. Not the dates, they were always amazing. They always made you forget how much you disliked sneaking around, almost making it all worth it. He was amazing, and kind, and funny and gosh you liked him so very much, but the lack of sleep was starting to catch up to you, making you much more irritable than normal. 

Every time you’d sit gathered in the common room with all your friends and who you wished to be your boyfriend, all you’d want is to openly hold his hand, openly admire how good he looked in that one quidditch jumper, and oh wow, to openly kiss him. 

To be fair, he hadn’t even secretly kissed you yet. 

So when you heard Sirius talking to James in the Great Hall about a Hufflepuff girl cheering extra loud for him during their last quidditch match, always staring at him with heart eyes and blushing every time he looked her way, it got on your last nerve. 

“James, can I talk to you please?” you practically grit through your teeth, trying to keep your calm as best as you can. 

“Hold on a sec, you’ve been stealing him away so much lately, what, you guys fucking or something?” Sirius proclaimed, wiggling his eyebrows at the both of you infuriatingly. To say the least, the comment had struck a soft spot, and you wanted now more than ever for James to lift this silly rule, to be confident enough in your relationship to just admit his feelings for you, right there, in front of everybody.

It was too much to hope, as all he did was turn around and join in on the jesting, not even considering how it might make you feel.

“Gosh no, you know we’re just friends, Pads cmon, don’t be like that.” The words cut through you, hurting more than he realised. You didn’t even know what to do, but you weren’t making the decisions, your body was making them for you. You spun on your feet, tears welling up in your eyes, embarrassment overflowing through your veins like blood. You started to walk away, leaving behind you a stunned Sirius and a very regretful James.

In that moment, all conflicting feelings left him, overtaken by wanting (read: needing) to comfort you, any means necessary. He couldn’t stand to see you upset, especially by his own hand. 

When you heard him calling after you, getting up to catch up to you, you could only speed up, trying to get away from him as fast as possible.

“Honey, please, I didn’t mean it, you know I didn’t mean it-” 

It’s no surprise that he catches up to you, jogging in front of you to somewhat block your path, pleading with you to hear him out. When your stubbornness dismissed him, there was only one more thing that he could think to do that would get his point across. After all, actions do speak louder than words. 

He grabs ahold of your face with both hands, opening his mouth to say something, anything, before cutting himself off by planting his lips firmly to yours. 

James Potter really was never very good with words. So it’s a good thing that you could always understand him, words or not.

thank you so much for reading, i hope you enjoyed! i'm always open to constructive criticism and helpful feedback :) a like, comment or reblog goes so far💕

[grapejuicestyless]

Mad Woman

Conrad Fisher x fem!reader

Angst to less angst???

Summery: Out of his own jealousy, Jeremiah decides to take the one thing Conrad has always wanted away from his brother in an attempt to finally have something over him. He never meant to hurt anyone, but in doing that, he hurt everyone.

Jeremiah is a total douche in this(I love him it’s just bc I needed a mean character.)

“You can have her, I won’t get in the way. But I will not watch you climb over people like her. She might be your girlfriend now, but she was my best friend first. Whatever you do, I will not defend it.” He was seething in anger when the news broke. Chest heaving unevenly the moment he had to watch as my lips captured hers. How my hands had a home in her hips. I was the one who got to worship her. I hope it killed him to know I finally had something he didn’t. I won the girl, not him.

He left the room, leaving behind the lingering shadow of a storm that brewed between us. A tension that was caused solely by his own jealousy. Conrad had always been older, stronger, smarter. The better brother. I hoped it killed him to know that even if all those things were true, he still couldn’t get the one thing he so desperately wanted. I felt giddy about it, in contrast to him.

I had the warmth of a childhood friend to crowd my bed on the chilly summer nights. Company that would only be for me, she was all mine.

Of course, Y/n was completely oblivious to the rift being created from this scandal. She always was so blind to what people felt for her, too nervous to see if her instincts were true. She never wanted to feel like an idiot if she was wrong, so she ignored them.

She would’ve never let me kiss her, hold her, have her if she’d known what Conrad felt for her. She didn’t want to see anyone hurt. So much so, she would rather live a life of misery and loneliness than to pit two friends against each other, much less brothers. And if that wasn’t enough to point out her stupidity around the topic, it was painfully apparent the way Y/n and Conrad shared glances. Like he was the only boy in the world. She didn’t idolize him, she had too much pride to put a boy over herself, but the love she felt for him was overflowing in a way that seeped into everyone else’s lives. Always trying to push the pair together.

Now, Y/n was mine. I could call her my girlfriend, my own. Conrad had finally lost, I had something over him. It wasn’t like I didn’t like Y/n. I thought she was the most beautiful girl in Cousins, maybe even in Pennsylvania. I hadn’t been, but I could assume that she was.

The relationship started slow, easy. I still remember the first night we spent together. I hadn’t touched her more than my arm slung around her shoulders so she could prop her head up on my bicep. I didn’t push for her to give me affection. She never hinted that she wanted more anyways. It was never rushed, we were always able to enjoy the closeness of our company, never needing more. Just being close was enough.

Sometimes we’d kiss, my hands in hers, eyes fluttering shut. Mostly, I did it in front of Conrad. I believed it felt better when it was more than just a kiss, but a way to rub salt in the wound that Conrad wore shamefully on his sleeve. Sometimes he would clear his throat, start talking to break it up so he could save the last bit of composure he had left. More often than now though, Conrad just walked away. Not willing to fight for her attention anymore. Not strong enough to even try.

It was a pattern like this, Y/n and I having small intimate moments behind closed doors, saving the steamy things for the couch cushions or the poolside mid-afternoon. Our dirty laundry was aired out in the open, allowing the mind to not only imagine what we were doing, but have physical proof of it.

Part of me felt bad, horrible inside. Y/n was the best of all of us. The kindest, the bravest. The second oldest. While Conrad struggled to keep us all safe, she was always his helping hand. Keeping everyone content and satisfied. Truly, I did really like her. I loved being with her. I’d always had a little crush on the girl, how could I not? Everything about her was so perfect. She was a dream. But deep down I always knew that what we had together had only started through some sort of twisted competition I held with my brother. The burning desire to have something he never would.

Maybe that’s when I started to push her away, because even if I had once been able to convince myself that I was with her out of my own feelings, I knew better than that. I knew I was doing it out of pure selfishness. What was so new and vibrant in June was rusted and unwanted by the following spring. Our long history together only making the shine turn into a matte finish, something old and worn out. I no longer had any pull towards her. I no longer imagined how her soft skin would feel under my fingertips. How her lips melted against mine. Our closeness, even in the most intimate moments felt dull. Sparks that once flew hiding away.

I began to try to pull away without a reason. Only that I was bored. Conrad seemingly felt better about it, coming to terms that maybe this was the end of his little daydream he always imagined he had with Y/n. So the competition felt useless. It was no fun anymore, I didn’t care. And with that dying down, so did the excitement. The thing that had sparked the fire burning between us in the beginning.

………………………………………………………………………………….

“Hey, Jere.” Her voice was like honey, smile so infectious as she waited for me by the front door. Summer had begun again and still, I strung the poor girl along instead of just cutting the ties. Slowly wrapping my noose around her, slowly breaking down her confidence. I watched her genuine kindness turn into a cover up for the scathing anger underneath it.

“Hi, Y/n.” I brushed past her, shoulder bumping, I expected her to follow. She didn’t.

Her frame was still at the door, hands clenching and unclenching quickly. I heard her sigh out of irritation. Finally then, she turned on her heals to meet me in the kitchen, elbows leaning on the counter, eyes killing me slowly with her deadly glare.

This was some form of punishment that was aimed directly at nothing. Only due to the fact that I didn’t have a single care about her anymore. Not even her darkest moods had any affect on me.

“What? What’s got you so upset?” I almost wanted to tease her further, knowing fully well that what I was doing was getting under her skin. I swear she almost broke, but her mouth was sealed shut.

“I’m not upset.” She breathed out evenly, putting on a false smile. Just once I’d like her to get mad. Freak out on me, end it so this whole game could be over.

“Really? You seem mad.” Looking away from her, I went to focus on anything else more interesting in the kitchen.

“Well, I’m not.” Her voice was raised, but she didn’t scream. She never did. She would never let anyone see her upset, always wanting peace. So instead of taking out her frustrations on me, the person who was the source of them, she left. Walking away to find where her head had gone.

“Who do you think you are?” His voice was harsh, like a slap to the face. Conrad never put his hands on me, but I almost wished he would’ve. A punch would’ve ended much quicker than this long argument that was about to ensue.

I shrugged.

“You have someone you don’t deserve at all, someone who stands by you even at your worst and you treat her like that?” Conrad was always the more mature out of the two of us. To describe him as more levelheaded would be untrue. We both had our moments, lost our cool on multiple occasions. But out of the two of us, he usually made the better choices. Did the right things. It would’ve been the right thing to let her go after that. It should’ve been a wake up call. But instead all I got out of his small outburst was the confirmation that even if he downplayed it, deep down he was still hurting. He still wanted her. So I would continue to play the game.

Not because I wished to hurt my brother, or Y/n for that matter. But because I just wanted one thing in my life that Conrad did not have. It was cruel, and twisted but I could not see that. It was like some sort of tunnel vision was casted down onto me and I only had one goal. Excluding the fact that I was hurting two very important people in my life.

………………………………………………………………………………….

It was early August by now, and it was a long time coming. This summer, unlike all the previous ones, seemed to drag by. Tensions high each day, only growing worse and worse with each passing hour until a fight broke out. The magic that once put us all in a trance had slipped off, revealing our darkest colors. To say that my relationship was strong, holding up through this would be a lie. It would’ve been a lie since July.

Because in July, I had not only been distancing myself from Y/n, but I had taken an interest for her younger sister. Belly. To compare the two, Belly was a little louder. A little shorter and her hair was longer. Y/n and her shared the same traits other than that. Not appearance wise, but personality wise. Both having some driving force pushing them into an intense competitive state. Both overly kind and caring for others. It was like newer version of the girl I already had, it was irresistible.

Even in my worst behavior, I could see it was wrong. So wrong to have let Belly trap me in the kitchen. No, even I wasn’t that naïve to blame it solely on her. It was wrong for me to kiss Belly. Even in Y/n and I’s roughest patch. She had never done anything to hurt me, always trying her hardest to be the best girlfriend someone could be to someone like me.

Glass shattered on the floors, a soft gasp being swallowed whole by the suddenness of the sound.

Belly and I pulled away with a pop, scrambling to fix ourselves, to downplay our mistake.

“Y/n.” I was utterly shocked to see her standing there, hair pinned up, the shirt she wore was ironically her sisters. She had glitter by her eyes and lips reddened, bitten raw. She looked like something out of a movie, even at her worst. For the first time I’d known her, she was speechless. The worst part, however, was the matching expression painted on the face behind her. The smile fading slowly into a familiar expression mixed with shock, hate and disappointment. Maybe even disgust.

“Y/n…” I tried again, trying to make it sound more pitiful. I reached out to grasp her hands, hold her. I wanted to hold her. It was odd. In the entire situation, I’d never really longed to hold her like this. I’d never felt my heart beat so fast. Shit, was I really? I was in love.

“No-don’t.” She warned, backing away, hands raised as a warning. She couldn’t even look at me, let alone Belly who was now hidden behind my shoulder, sinking down into herself.

“Y/n, hey, no please.” I begged again, not really sure what I was begging for.

She wiped away her tears with the palm of her hands, sucking in a breath. She tried to collect herself, but she couldn’t. It was only a matter of time before shit hit the fan. You can only put on a fake smile for so long before you are driven mad. And no one likes a mad woman.

“Fuck you, forever.” She stormed out before I even had the chance to speak, gone like an early autumn breeze. I could see she was angry, steam practically blowing out of her ears. But she didn’t yell, or give it to me like I had hoped. Our flame simply faltered out. Silently, slowly.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Words I had heard one too many times in the past year. Ones that sometimes I wondered myself.

Truthfully, I didn’t know. I had her, right in the palm of my hands, but I poked that bear, I caused the end of this beautiful situation we found ourselves in. I had no real explanation for it. I just did it because I wanted to. I wanted Belly more than I had ever wanted her, or I thought so. No, Belly was just a crush. Now that I had lost her older sister, I saw her as my other half. Something that I should’ve loved completely from the very beginning.

I expected to hear his rants about how shitty of a boyfriend I was to her. How I’d taken away his one true love only to break her heart.

“You might be my brother by blood, but you are no brother of mine.” It was as quiet as a mouse coming from him, almost as if he didn’t believe such words could come out of his mouth. The venom that was laced within them told me that even in the guilt he felt while confessing it, he meant it. And if it wasn’t obvious in his scathing rage, I knew he had meant it for awhile. I didn’t expect him to leave without even a second look after that. Chasing after the beautiful woman I left behind.

I never meant to hurt anyone. I never wanted to. I was just so blind sighted I hadn’t even noticed how negatively I was impacting everyone’s lives. How I was just fucking up consistently until there was nothing left to mess with. All over some stupid jealousy. A war between two brothers that didn’t exist to Conrad, but only to me. And in trying to win, I had hurt two of the most important people in my life.

………………………………………………………………………………….

“Y/n. Y/n, Wait!” I chased after her like my life depended on it. Even the tightness in my chest couldn’t stop me. The quickness in my steps, and the length of them making it easy to catch her in just mere minutes.

“Go away.” She held her hand up, looking away. By the shaking in her voice, I could tell she didn’t mean it.

She was hurting. But she wasn’t sad. No, the tears that were so obviously glistening in the golden hour light weren’t of despair or even a faint sadness. They were hot, angry tears. And she had every right to be.

She should be mad, she should be scathing like me. Her face was contorted into a frown, eyebrows furrowed. I could tell she wanted to scream, wanted to, but no one likes a mad woman. Not even she did, but it she couldn’t help it. He made her like that.

I knew there was no getting through to her, no talking to her when she was so upset. I could only offer my shoulder for her to lean on. And as her tears soaked through my thin sleeves, I held her. I would continue to hold her until it was all okay. Until my brother was nothing more than a distant memory, one that felt more like a fever dream than reality.

So standing there, on the hill that led down to the beach, we sunk into the sandy grass. Hiding away from the world.

“I’m sorry Conrad. I’m so sorry. I was just so stupid. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” She apologized over and over, and for some reason my mouth couldn’t move. I could only sit there looking at her and hope that she could read my mind.

[retnym]

WORLD TOUR- .01

"Gosh, you just couldn't keep our names out of your mouth."

Flashing lights, loud talking, humid air, crowds full of paparazzi; all screaming to get you to look their way. My breath hitched as I stood up straighter, feeling the fabric of my dress finally move down as it had been tight against my torso. My manager thought it’d be a good idea to go with a tight red dress for the premiere of my new movie. Something I highly wanted to decline but I didn’t know until the last minute. 

“[Name]! This way!” A dark-haired lady calls me, her microphone in hand. This was someone that my friend, Emma warned me of. Heading over to her, she gives a quick side hug and has us stand so the camera sees both of us. “How are you, you look amazing!” 

How am I? Well to be serious, I am horrible. This dress is squeezing me in what feels like all the wrong places. The flashing lights, it feels like I’m going to go blind with only seeing dots for the rest of my days. The screaming, having to look everywhere all at once. And last but definitely not it, missing home for this movie. Missing my best friends in Germany for America. 

“I’m wonderful, seeing so many familiar faces, it’s great." Lying straight through my teeth here. "How are you?”  Obviously putting it back to her I start to space out, the loudness of it all being the cause of it.

I wonder what Bill, Gustav, and Georg are doing. Hopefully thinking about me. 

Glancing around the lights are still bright. I wonder if their fingers ever hurt from clicking that button repeatedly. 

“[Name]?” My eyes flicker to her face. 

“Sorry, everything is so overwhelming. The shouting.” I explain, bringing back a smile onto my face. A fake one, of course. “Oh, I totally get it.” She laughs an obnoxious laugh I’m sure everyone hears and finds just as annoying as I do right at this very moment.

“So, how does it feel being away from Germany?” This question makes me raise my eyebrow for the splitest second. It was like she read my mind. “Well, it’s pretty normal to be away just due to all my productions being away or my tours being in the United States. Only thing I will say is I truly miss my best friends.” I tell in a sad tone, at the end though I bite my buttom lip. Picking the dead skin off of it as a nervous habit that most of my fans have even caught on to. 

She does another phoney laugh for the viewers. Gosh, if Gustav was here he’d be subtly hitting my arm or squeezing it as he tried not to laugh. 

“And your best friends, aren’t they in a famous German band. What are they called again?” She questions the name of my best friend's band? If you’re going to interview me that’s the one thing you should know! It’s all I talk about, Jesus Christ, this lady lives under a rock. “Tokio Hotel,” I say in almost an irritated tone but I caught myself in time to stop it and not make her embarrassed or have this end up on MTV. 

“Right, I knew that.” And again with the laugh. Its excruciating.

“How do you know them?”

How do I know them!? It’s all over Myspace! Look on Twitter! Look on Youtube! We have repeatedly told people, over and over and over! 

“We’re childhood best friends! Mine and the Kaulitz twin's parents also grew up together. Bill is my absolute best friend, he literally knows everything.” I laugh, talking about them gives me so much happiness, a nostalgic feeling even though we’re still around each other.

“What about the other twin, Tom?” My face faulters a tiny bit.

“Oh, he’s a friend as well. Growing up together how couldn’t we be?” I save myself from a lecture from my manager. She never understood our hatred for each other and because of that both of our managers told us to keep it off screen. 

The rest of the interviews were just questions about the movie or about my dress. It was like almost every interview. Most didn’t ask about Tokio Hotel because if they did I’d probably sit there for hours.

By the end of the night, after watching the movie I had gotten into my limo by myself. 

I didn’t want to stay with everyone else or go to after parties. I was getting ready to go back to the hotel, change into some comfortable clothes to go back to an airport.

Heading back to Germany, it will sadly take almost 11 hours on a plane. I also get to go back to my kitty, Springroll or Frühlingsrolle. I couldn’t bring her this time since it was just a week's experience so I left her to the twins. Hopefully, Bill didn’t leave her with Tom for too long she might’ve been starved or neglected for too many hours.

Mentally rolling my eyes, we pulled up to the hotel. I lazily got out of the vehicle to another swarm of camera flashes and screams asking me about the night. This paparazzi you can not say a word to. They will twist everything you say. They’re nasty monsters. 

I just want to go back home. 

“I missed you guys so much!” I laughed, hugging my best friends as they were gathered outside the Kaulitz’s house. “Dude we missed you too.” Georg pulls back, all of us following suit. Bill was still grabbing onto my arm with a wide grin. “We saw every single interview. Gosh you just can’t keep our names out of your mouth?” He teases, the other two guys laugh. 

“Did you see-”

“Oh we saw, we saw the one lady.” Gustav cuts me off, and my eyes gleamed before bursting into a fit of laughter. “You guys have no idea how awful that was!” I shouted tugging on Bill as he agreed. We all talked about what I missed or what they should’ve seen while I was in America. It was all pretty wild.

My mother being from Detroit Michigan we go sometimes every now and then. The twins would join sometimes but they’ve never seen every state like I have. 

“We have pictures of Tom with Frühlingsrolle while he was sleeping. He will never admit it but they bonded quite well when you were gone?” Georg explains, pulling out his phone to show me the pretty blurry pictures of the other twin with my all-black kitty laying on top of his chest while he slept. His hat was in his hand as his dreads actually laid down.

I smirk, my eyebrows raised in amusement just as the angel of a man spoke, one of the devil's children came out with my cat in her crate. 

“Here’s your brat of an animal.” He grumbles, dramatically handing it to me causing all of us to snicker. “What?” He scrunches his nose in confusion. “My brat of an animal?” I repeat.

Bill was practically cackling at this point. 

“Yeah? That’s what I said.” He was not getting to what we were saying so Georg takes out his phone again and shows the picture. The boy's face slightly dropped as we all laughed.

“That doesn’t mean anything.” He crosses his arms.

“It doesn’t?” I frown in a sarcastic way making him punch my shoulder. “Aye, unnecessary.” I shove him back.

“It’s okay to be a pussy lover, Tom.” Gustav lays a hand on his shoulder, I shake my head and Tom just plays with his piercing to cover the noticeable smirk he has to attempt to hide his laughter. 

“Oh, I’m a pussy lover. Just not [Name]’s.” He flips me off, I nod. “You could never get it even if you wanted to.” I roll my eyes. 

“Oh really?” He comes closer and I straighten my posture. “Yup.” I glare at him. 

“Never say never,” He shoves me backward a little bit but Bill was behind me to make sure I didn’t stumble further than I could’ve. Before I could say anything else, Tom was making his way back inside. 

After he left it was a tad bit awkward. Usually how it goes. Either we go into full blown fights or tiny weird arrangements like that. We couldn’t stand each other if it saved our life. Surprisingly that was longest we’ve been in area together without cameras or outside people and didn’t fight until the last second but still. 

A World record for us.

Later than I wanted so I apologize for that. I will try to have the second chapter out tomorrow. I hope everyone enjoyed this, it's fun to get back into writing like I used to:) Also the chapters will be longer:) this is just the beginning.

[suuuupernovaaa]

Accident

Timothee accidentally posts a picture of you, blowing your cover.

The panic sets in like ice flowing through your veins. A tingling at your fingertips shoots straight into your heart. Your eyes are wide, your palms are sweaty. It takes you a few seconds to open up FaceTime and dial his number.

He answers right away.

“Timothee, what did you do?” you ask, your voice low in case he isn’t alone. Your boyfriend is never alone.

The smile he had upon answering fades into something dark. “What?” he asks.

“Instagram,” you reply. “Look at your instagram story.”

When he disappears, you do too, going back to the story. It’s a picture of you perched on a stone wall, looking down the side of a mountain Timothee and you had just hiked. You hadn’t even known he’d just taken it. Your hair was stuck to your neck with sweat, and only part of your face is visible over your shoulder, as you turn to look at him.

His hand is on your shoulder, gripping tightly, possessively, and a hint of a smile plays at the half of your face that’s visible.

You’re wearing one of his t-shirts, an old, plain black one, and the sunset ahead of you makes the picture look like art.

Maybe no one will assume, or wonder. Timothee isn’t even really in it. Just hand.

“Shit, Y/N,” he says, and you swipe back to FaceTime. “Should I delete it?”

“Um… no. Well, maybe. I think people will talk more if you delete it. Maybe just leave it?”

It’s not like he tagged you. You’re not in his following list, because no one is. You’re a total unknown.

“Okay,” he says, the panic in his voice subsiding. “I’m sorry.”

You shake your head. “You don’t have to be sorry. It was an accident. And you can’t hide me forever.”

He rolls his eyes. “You’re hiding you. I’m protecting you.”

A soft smile crosses your lips. “I know.”

He winks. “I gotta go, but I’ll have management keep an eye on things online. Call me after work?”

You nod and he blows you a kiss before hanging up.

—

Boy, were you wrong. You’ve been wrong about some things in your life, but never something this big.

They’ve found your instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn within two hours. You’re getting dozens of requests by the minute, and you’ve never been more grateful to have your socials private before.

The workday passes in a blur of buzzing on your phone. Most of it is follow requests on instagram, but the rest is your friends and family sending you articles about Timothee Chalamet’s ‘mystery girl revealed’.

Timothee Chalamet & the Lawyer from NYC

Timothee Chalamet’s Secret Lover

Timmy’s girlfriend: we talked to her childhood best friend!

It’s endless and you start requesting they stop sending all the nonsense your way. Your mom calls to ask if you’re okay, and your actual best friend reminds you that you knew this day would come, and she’s here for you.

The comments on his latest instagram post are hard to look away from.

user he’s dating that sweaty beast?

user she looks happy!

user who the hell is she???

user FAT GIRLFRIEDN??

reply to user fuck off with your misspelled fatphobia

Eventually, you put your phone on DND to finish your day. The subway ride home is uneventful, and as soon as you set foot in your modest apartment, you call Timothee.

“Well,” he says as an answer, “now I might have to say sorry.”

Despite the stress of the day, you have to laugh. “Maybe. But, this was going to happen anyway. Though one article called me a ‘social climbing hussy’ and I didn’t love that.”

You throw your bag onto the kitchen table and put your boyfriend on speaker phone so you can find something to order for dinner. This day calls for Thai, or maybe Indian.

“Don’t read that shit, Y/N,” he huffs. “None of it matters. I’m like, really sorry people are going to bother you now. But I’m not sorry that everyone is going to find out how in love and happy I am.”

Your cheeks heat, even though he can’t see you. It hasn’t even been a year, but Timothee is already the most special and wonderful thing in your life, and it’s no wonder when he says things like that.

“I wish you were here,” you sigh.

“Me too. Only a few more days.”

—

You stashed your phone in your room to charge, and to avoid, and turned on the TV. Sitting cross-legged in front of your coffee table in your most comfortable pajamas, you’re about to dig in to the most delicious spread of Indian cuisine when the door buzzes.

Could they have found your address?

You get up and press the speaker. “Let me in! You’re not answering your phone!”

Your heart skips a beat and you’re unable to even respond as you hit the button that unlocks the front door. You stand frozen in shock until three loud knocks sound at the door.

Once it’s open, there he stands, and he’s not empty handed. He’s got what looks to be two dozen beautifully arranged roses along with a giant bag full of what you assume is chocolate and candy.

You grab him by the collar and pull him to you, wrapping your arms around his neck. It’s been weeks since you’ve seen him, and the scent of him erases every bad thing that’s happened in the past 12 hours.

It’s worth it, your mind whispers.

He sets the flowers and gifts down on the kitchen counter. “I did something, and I don’t know if you’re going to like it, but let me explain,” he says, a wincing smile on his lips.

You bring his face to yours for a quick kiss. “I don’t care. I’m so glad you’re here.”

He takes out his phone and hands it to you. It’s unlocked already, and instagram is open.

He’s made a new post, and your heart flutters.

It’s a picture from a few months ago, taken at a friend’s house. You’re sitting on the kitchen counter, and Timothee stands between your legs, both of you laughing, his hands in your hair and yours on his hips. You hadn’t even known your friend had taken it at the time, but it’s been his phone background ever since, he loves it so much.

The caption is simple. “Happy.”

Your reaction surprises you as tears gather in your eyes. “They’re going to really come after me now.”

“I know. And I am sorry. But, Y/N, I know privacy is important to us both… but sometimes, I just want to talk about how happy I am. I think we can find a balance.”

He wipes a tear from your eye.

“I’m proud to be yours, Timothee,” you reply, and his smile stretches ear to ear. “Really, really proud. I love you. I just want to be careful, okay?”

He kisses your nose, then each cheek, and pulls you into a tight embrace. “I’ll do whatever it takes to protect this, Y/N,” he whispers, and you squeeze him tight.

You’ll navigate this together.

[avatar-anna]

can we get a cute little something between yn and simone maybe current. maybe they do a little girls day and harry isn’t jealous but finds it hard to handle because yn has a special relationship with her since she spent so much time with simone. but harry would be the sweetest and be supportive and when they get back ask all about it.

you can totally change that i just rambled with what I thought apparently lol

summary: three times young mom!reader and simone went on their mommy-daughter dates

word count: 3k

mostly y/n and not harry which y'all might not like, but i thought it was cute

Young dad!Harry x Young mom!Reader universe

The first time Y/n took Simone out on a Mommy-daughter date, she was seven months pregnant. She was alone in Holmes Chapel, a town she was relatively new to, with nothing to do. Harry was across the globe on tour because his management wouldn’t let him come home until the last possible moment, his mother was at work, and she was in her boyfriend’s childhood home, balancing a bowl of chocolate covered almonds on her baby bump and flipping through British reality television, which was decidedly not as good as the American programs.

“What should we do today, little melon?” she asked, rubbing her belly. Laughing to herself, she added, “Not so little anymore.”

Not that there was anything to do. Holmes Chapel was fairly sleepy, with a small strip of stores on the main road and farmland. Lots and lots of farmland. It was nothing like Y/n was used to growing up, and while Anne was nice, she didn’t know the woman all that well and didn’t really know how to talk to her. It felt like there was a big elephant in the room every time they sat down to eat.

But Y/n was so bored. She was used to going out with friends, talking to people, feeling the sun on her skin. Holmes Chapel was not home, but it was too late to go back now, though the house she grew up in currently wasn’t all that inviting either.

She eventually decided on getting her nails done. Y/n had seen one salon when she went with Anne to the grocery store, and it was the first thing she thought of now. Struggling to an upright position, she put on some comfortable clothes, slid into her shoes, and set off. 

Y/n ignored the stares as she passed people on the street. She got a lot of stares now that she couldn’t hide her bump anymore. Friends of Anne asked who Y/n was with wide eyes the first time they’d gone out together, and Anne calmly explained that Y/n was a cousin’s friend who needed a place to stay. Not the truth, but they weren’t allowed to tell the truth. And since Y/n had a young face, people stared, showed their visible disdain or disapproval of her being pregnant at such a young age. She was sick of the looks, which was why she mostly kept to the confines of Anne’s home, but she was feeling particularly restless today and decided to just deal with everyone’s judgment.

Anne never judged her, though. Not once, which Y/n appreciated.

The nail salon was small with a tinny bell attached to the door, announcing her arrival to the establishment. The woman manning the front desk widened her eyes at the sight of Y/n’s belly, but thankfully recovered quickly. “Can I help you?”

“A manicure and a pedicure, please?” she asked, hating how heads turned at the sound of her accent. Another thing that made her stick out around here.

“Of course, right this way,” the woman said, pointing to one of the cushiony chairs with a tub attached. 

Y/n knew she didn’t really have much money to be spending on something like getting her nails done, but she just felt so gross some days. Her ankles were swelling, she had acne, got hot flashes, got nauseous around certain smells. This was a small thing to make her feel just a little more normal again.

She heaved herself into the chair, resting her head with her eyes closed once she got her feet up. The walk had made her tired, made her feet hurt, but it was worth it.

“Miss?”

Y/n opened her eyes to find a different woman standing next to her. “Hi, sorry. Just a little tired.”

“Did you walk here?” she asked Y/n, eyes widening for a completely different reason than talking to a teen mom.

“Yeah, I—I don’t have a car,” Y/n said lamely. Not that she’d be able to drive in a completely different country anyway. “But it’s fine, I—Oh shoot. I forgot to pick out a color.”

She began to get out of her seat when the woman rested a hand on her shoulder. “No need. What color were you thinking?”

“Light yellow? Pastel?” she said, the color of one of the onesies she bought online the other day coming to mind. It felt silly to think about matching with her baby that hadn’t even been born yet, but it was out before Y/n could take it back.

“I know just the thing. Toes too?”

Y/n nodded before resting her head again. She picked up her phone. To play a game or scroll through Instagram, she wasn’t sure. Y/n didn’t like going on social media all that much these days. It was a reminder of her life back home, of all her friends moving on and doing normal eighteen year old things. She didn’t regret her decision in having the baby or moving, but some days were better than others. 

She decided on a message to Harry instead. He probably wouldn’t see it for a few hours, but she knew he would appreciate waking up to or coming off the stage to an update.

Y/n: on my first official mommy daughter date!

Before she hit send, she quickly erased the message and closed her phone.

I’m a mom, she thought. Y/n was seven months pregnant, and she would be having a baby soon, but she’d never called herself a mom before, didn’t believe it until right this second. But she was a mom. A good, bad, or average one time would only tell, but it scared her none the less.

“How far along are you?”

Y/n looked to her right at the woman who was sitting in the chair beside hers. Middle aged, clear skin, kind brown eyes. She didn’t look at Y/n the way other people did. There was no judgment, no preconceived notions about what kind of girl Y/n was, just plain curiosity.

Clearing her throat, Y/n said, “Twenty-nine weeks.”

“Almost to the end, then,” the woman said. “Have you thought of a name yet?”

“I think so. Have to run it by the dad first,” she said, resting her hands on her bump instinctively. “But I call her Simone.”

“That’s beautiful,” the woman said. “Can I offer a tip?”

“Uh, sure.”

“Lavender and chamomile,” she said. “Essential oils that help with relaxation and peaceful sleep.”

Y/n knew she probably looked exhausted, which was why the woman offered that particular piece of advice, but Y/n took it happily anyway. “That really helps?”

The woman smiled, and it wasn’t in a condescending way. “It does. The smells are supposed to relax you.”

Before Y/n could say anything else, her nail tech returned with two bottles of nail polish in slightly different shades of pastel yellow in her hand. “How do these look?”

For the next hour, Y/n didn’t worry about a thing. She let the nail tech take care of her, who encouraged Y/n to close her eyes and relax. And she did. For a whole hour, the baby didn’t kick, her back didn’t hurt, and she felt her shoulders slowly lose tension. She almost didn’t want it to be over. When it was, though, Y/n felt ten times better. She felt normal, a feeling that was hard to come by these days.

“Thank you,” Y/n said to her nail tech, handing cash over. “I…I really needed this.”

“Come back when your daughter is old enough,” the woman said. “You can get matching nails together.”

And when little Simone was old enough, Y/n did take her to the small nail salon. Her feet dangled in the cushiony chair, and she giggled when someone tried to touch her feet. She and Y/n got matching sparkly purple nails because that was what Simone wanted, and Y/n couldn’t help but comply. And everyone was just as nice and doting as the first time Y/n came in, and every time after that.

That was a favorite outing for Y/n and Simone when they did their mommy-daughter dates. They wouldn’t always go to the salon in Holmes Chapel, of course, but they got their nails done together frequently, from the first time with the sparkly nails and to Simone’s first dance and so on.

“Are you sure Daddy can’t come?”

“It’s for me and Mommy only! No Daddy allowed!”

Harry clutched his chest as if Simone had wounded him. He leaned back on the couch and slid down a little, making a real show of it. He peeked an eye open to see Simone’s reaction. Her hair, which was tied up in two little pigtails with bows on each one, swung back and forth as she shook her head, clearly exasperated by her father’s antics.

“We can play later, Daddy,” she said, skipping over to Harry. She jumped onto his stomach and squished his cheeks between her hands. “Stop being sad.”

“I can’t. Your mother is hogging you. She’s hogging my baby,” he joked. Kind of.

Harry knew all about Y/n and Simone’s mommy-daughter dates. Y/n often went out with Simone when they joined him on tour. She liked to get Simone out of the hotel rooms, find something fun for the two of them to do together. Harry was all for it, of course. He didn’t like that Y/n sometimes felt trapped when she traveled with him, and this was an opportunity to see the world in a way that some people didn’t get to. He sometimes felt left out, but he imagined that was how Y/n felt a lot of the time.

“You’d hate it. We’re going to the American Girl Doll store.”

Harry raised his eyes to see Y/n standing at the foot of the couch dressed for the day in a flowy sundress that covered her baby bump. Baby number two, Harry thought excitedly. He didn’t think that would be in their cards, but all it took was a few months of him being on hiatus and bam! Y/n was pregnant.

Putting an affronted hand on his chest, Harry said, “I love American Girl Dolls.”

Y/n bent down and kissed his forehead. “Then we can go again tomorrow. I’m sure our little melon won’t mind, will she?”

Simone nodded excitedly. “You can come with us tomorrow, Daddy!”

Tapping Simone on the nose with his knuckle, Harry said, “Promise?”

Simone nodded, showing off her biggest smile, which was now missing a tooth. “Promise.”

Y/n reached down and stretched her arms out to take Simone, and she happily leapt up into her arms. Behind his daughter’s back, Harry stuck his tongue out at Y/n, and once Simone was settled with her, Y/n stuck her tongue out back at him.

Simone was asleep when she and Y/n came back. “A long day of shopping,” Y/n said, passing the sleeping five year old over to him. Harry spent the afternoon reading and watching TV and doing a little bit of writing while they were gone, but he just wanted to be with his girls, all three of them. He knew Y/n and Simone’s days together were special, and he knew that he could just as easily have his own special day with his daughter, but sometimes he felt like there was an invisible wall with Y/n and Simone on one side and him on the other. He was doing all he could to get past or move around it, but they were so close having spent so much time together, just the two of them.

“You know,” Y/n said, settling onto the bed next to him. “All my little melon could talk about was showing you the doll she bought today.”

“Yeah?”

“Mmhm. She wanted to wait until tomorrow to pick out all of the clothes and accessories because you have the best clothes.”

Harry grinned, running a hand over one of Simone’s pigtails. “Really?”

Y/n leaned over and kissed her husband’s cheek. “She loves you. Just as much as she loves me.”

“I know,” he said, a blush pinking his cheeks. “I know she does, but—”

“Simone idolizes you, baby,” Y/n said. “You, sir, are her hero. She asked me the other day if she could bring you to Career Day. And before that, she said she wanted to be you for Halloween.”

“I’d be the coolest dad at Career Day,” Harry said, even though he knew he wouldn’t be able to do it.

“You would, and you’re the coolest dad here too. At home. So no more moping. No more pouting about mommy-daughter time, you hear me?”

“I hear you. No more pouting. Kiss?”

Y/n hummed, somewhat suspiciously. “Sometimes I think you pout just so I’ll kiss you.”

“I would never,” Harry said with a gasp, but he was grinning just the same as he leaned in. “Is it working?”

Narrowing her eyes, she said, “You’re lucky you’re cute. Come here.”

“So, who’s the boy?”

“Wha—What are you talking about? There’s no—How did you know?”

Y/n grinned and winked at Simone from her seat in the salon chair. “I’m your mother, Simone. I know everything.”

Simone huffed and sat back in her chair. “I thought that was just a line parents used to scare their kids.”

“Sometimes it is, most times it isn’t,” Y/n said. “So…?”

Y/n knew Simone would’ve fiddled with her hands if she could, but the nail tech was currently working on painting one of them a pale yellow. “He…hardly notices me.”

“What makes you say that?”

“We sit next to each other in history class and sometimes we work on discussion questions together, but other than that it’s like—it’s like we live on two different planets. How do I get him to notice me?”

“How should I know? I don’t have much experience when it comes to guys,” Y/n said, joking with her daughter just a little. 

Seeing right through it, Simone narrowed her eyes at Y/n and said, “You’ve been with Dad since you were seventeen. You know something.”

“Maybe you’re right,” Y/n said. “I’m not gonna tell you how I charmed your father because you’ll go, ‘Ew you’re my parents! Don’t talk about Dad like that!’ So I won’t. What I can tell you is be yourself and if there is a common interest between the two of you that doesn’t have to do with history homework, and start there. Shared interests is always a great place to start.”

“It’s that simple?”

“It’s that simple.”

“Oh.”

Simone and Y/n were quiet for few minutes while the women in the small nail salon they’d been going to for years worked on their hands. Y/n didn’t live in Anne’s house in Holmes Chapel, and she was far from pregnant, but she still liked to come back and get her nails done with Simone whenever they came back to visit Harry’s family. Simone got harder and harder to pin down as she got older, but Y/n was always surprised when her oldest daughter cancelled her plans when she offered they go somewhere, just the two of them. Y/n loved all of her children dearly and had a special connection with each of them. But these moments, this one on one time with Simone was something she held close to her heart.

“Dad’s gonna freak when he finds out, isn’t he?”

“Yeah. Not sure I can stop that, sorry.”

She sighed and rolled her eyes. “Can’t you just not tell him?”

“He’s my husband, little melon. I tell him everything.”

“Well can you hold off until there’s actually something to say?”

Y/n took the free moment to lean over to Simone’s chair and kissed her forehead. “Course.”

After they finished getting their nails done, they took the familiar walk back to Anne’s house. Y/n looped her arm through Simone’s, enjoying the familiar press of her daughter against her side. “You know, when I was about your age—”

“You walked all the way from Nana’s house with me in your belly so you could get your nail’s done. I remember,” Simone said. Y/n told the story every time they went to the salon together.

“Are you going to let me finish?”

“Go ahead.”

So Y/n continued her story all the way until they reached the house. “And when I told your dad about it, he was so jealous. He was all, ‘I can get my nails done too, you know!’ But I said, ‘No. Get you’re own thing. This is ours,’” she said.

“Dad and I don’t have a thing,” Simone said.

“Sure you do. He’ll help you pick out your prom dress, pay for college, and walk you down the aisle. That’s three things right there.”

“Now I get to tell Dad something that’ll make him annoyed with you.”

Y/n playfully pinched Simone’s arm. “You listen here, my little melon, Harry Styles is a lot of things, and at the top of that list is an absolute pushover when it comes to his children. He would make traveling to the moon your ‘thing’ if you asked him.”

“I know. We go to the movies every two weeks. He and Julian go for drives to the grocery store when we’re all on our periods, and…I think he recently took up surfing with Maeve.”

Y/n knew all of this, of course. Harry was always looking to spend time with his kids, and now that they were all getting older and more independent, it was harder to get alone time with them. Except for Natalia and Geneva, who were still young and thought he was the coolest person on the planet. Y/n and Simone had their little dates, and now Y/n got to impart wisdom to her daughter from time to time, but for as long as Simone could speak she and Harry had their thing: she and Harry were terrible gossips.

“Hm. So, what do you think? Lunch before going home? Thrift store?” Y/n asked.

“Let’s just go back. I’m sure the house has descended into chaos without us,” Simone said, picking up her pace.

Y/n grinned and followed her daughter down the familiar sidewalk, each step bringing back memories of all the times she’d walked down it; from having a baby in her belly to holding her in her arms to walking side by side with her daughter who was now taller than her.

[livwritesstuff]

Ok another question for you my friend, vaguely inspired by something my dad said.

We were talking, essentially, about mortality. My dad said men, generally, have a very good sense of time marching on, while women tend to see “milestones”; baby’s first steps, first childhood crush, graduating high school, etc. and it’ll just hit them sometimes.

So, two-part question: do you think both Steve and Eddie are as my dad described? Steve—aka Mr. psych major—would, I think; but I’m not sure about Eddie.

And part 2: how do they react to their daughters’ prom/homecoming dresses?

ooh okay

I think Eddie would be the one getting caught up in the minutia of it all. He’s the one being like “holy shit, I can’t believe she’s turning [insert age here]” and getting upset every time they lose interest in some little-kid thing, and he notices when a t-shirt that used to be Moe’s when she was little ends up in a donation bag because Hazel finally outgrew it. I think a plus side of this is that he gets to process the whole passage of time thing as it’s happening.

Psych-guy Steve, on the other hand, I feel like would almost be a little detached from it, and not in a bad way necessarily, but I think his perception would be very clinical – like, kids get older, kids grow up, it’s normal and natural and good and all that jazz. I think he’d have an awareness from the beginning that he and Eddie aren’t raising babies, they’re raising people who are babies for a little bit but are ultimately going to be a whole lot more than that.

He gets excited about all the milestones, especially when the girls are babies, but he’s not really thinking too much about it until suddenly he’s teaching Moe how to drive and he has this moment of, “Uh, hang on…when the hell did this happen?”, and I feel like with each kid, it might get just a bit more distressing.

As for prom, I have a longer post planned for when it gets a little closer to prom season (for the U.S., anyways) but my initial thoughts are that Hazel’s prom might be that moment for Steve, even if it’s just her junior prom and he’s still got another year with her before she’s flying the coop too. He wasn’t expecting to get emotional about it either, because between his three daughters there’s been a bazillion homecomings and proms that he hasn’t batted an eye over, but something about seeing his youngest daughter in a long dress with her hair (which is usually a total disaster) done all nice has him going, “Wait-wait-wait-wait she’s supposed to be a baby.”

[callsign-dexter]

A Guarded Heart

Request: Hi 

I was just wondering if I could please request a Maverick x girlfriend reader where she is just very closed off and has some trust issues (maybe from past bad relationships) and maybe Maverick starts to notice but he doesn’t say anything he just slowly tries to get her to open up him. Then after he feels that they have made progress maybe she runs into one of her ex’s and Mav doesn’t know about it. So that causes her to backtrack from all the progress and she just completely shuts herself from him and Maverick notices so he finally says something. At first the reader thinks he is mad at her (due to the trust issues) but really Maverick is just concerned and wants her to let him in. So after the reader finally lets her walks down Maverick is there to comfort her.

totally your choice 100%

Pairings: Maverick x Reader

Warnings: angst, fluff, swearing, mentions of abuse

When you first met Maverick, it was at The Hard Deck. You were out with your friends from work and your boyfriend, Jerry. You had been waiting at the bar for your friend, Penny, to grab your drink for you and another round of drinks for your friend. You had known each other since childhood and were thick as thieves. She didn’t like your current boyfriend, Jerry, he was nasty towards you and your friends and hardly let you do anything without letting him know what you were doing or he had to be with you. 

Maverick had been sitting at the bar talking to Penny when you had walked up. Penny smiled at you “Hey, Y/N. Another round for your group?” She asked and you smiled. You had come out with some coworkers and your boyfriend and you were trying to have fun but he was making it hard and this was the only way you seemed to get away from him and breathe. 

“You know us too well.” You said and chuckled and so did she. She smiled and got to work when you noticed a handsome stranger sitting next to you. “Hi.” You said and Maverick could’ve sworn that your voice sounded like honey.

“Hi, I’m Pete but you can call me Maverick.” He said and you smiled.

“Ah, a Navy man. Let me guess, pilot. My name is Y/N.” You said and he smiled.

“Nice to meet you and how did you know?” He chuckled and smiled and you decided that you loved that smile.

“Well, you introduced yourself with your first name and then what I assume is a callsign. I grew up with a Navy father.” You said and he smiled.

“Oh, what is it that you do?” He asked and you smiled.

“I’m a high school teacher.” You said and he nodded his head while smiling and then Penny was walking over to you with a tray.

“Here you go Y/N/N.” She said and you smiled at her.

“Thank you.” You said and turned to Maverick “I’ll see you around. I hope.” You said and he nodded.

“You will.” He said and then you were off heading to your work group and he watched you every step of the way.

“I see you have met our local sweetheart. I’ve known that girl since we were kids.” Penny said and he smiled and turned his gaze to her.

“She seems sweet.” He said and Penny nodded.

“She is. Too bad her boyfriend treats her like shit. He’s always so rude to her and her friends.” Penny said watching you and Maverick did the same. He watched Jerry pull you over and start yelling at you and saw how you shrink into yourself trying to defend yourself. He then threw his arms up and you flinched and stormed off. 

Maverick wanted you to break up with Jerry and be with him. You deserve someone that loved you and he could give that to you.

Each time he went out with The Daggers to The Hard Deck on Fridays he always looked for you. Each Friday you were there sometimes with Jerry and others not. When Jerry wasn't with you, you were a totally different person and he liked that person. 

2 weeks had passed and he hadn't seen you and he was missing your presence. He was with The Daggers as they were laughing and talking about anything non-work related. While they were talking, he was looking for you and frowned when he didn't see you. After a few minutes of looking around the not so busy bar, it was pre-rush hour, he tuned into the conversation. Jake had been going back and forth with Bradley and everyone butted in. There was a break in the conversation and he thought that it would be a good time to get another round of drinks. “I'm gonna get another. Anybody want one?” He asked and he heard a collective of ‘No I'm good.’ He nodded and headed to the bar.

“Hey.” Penny said when she saw that he had sat down. “She hasn't been here the last few weeks. I'm worried.” She said.

“How did you know?” Maverick asked her and she smirked.

“I saw you looking for her and see how happy you are when you're talking to her. She used to be a happy outgoing person who wouldn't take anything from anybody but since she got with Jerry, she's done a 180.” Penny said and that made Maverick upset. He was about to reply when the door was harshly thrown into the wall and a frantic you came rushing in. Eyes wide looking around frantically until they settled on Penny and you were rushing over to her. Maverick grew very concerned when he saw your busted lip, bruised cheek, and black eye. “Y/N.” Penny said and was quick to rush around the bar and straight to you. “What happened?” She asked and you shrunk in on yourself.

“Jerry hit me. He got drunk and complained I worked too much. He also accused me of cheating. When I tried to defend myself, he threw a glass at me and then hit me.” You said tears escaping your eyes. Penny grew outraged and then looked over to Maverick.

“Stay with her while I go and get the first aid kit.” She said and Maverick nodded and you turned to him embarrassed that he was seeing you like this. You had to be honest when you first laid eyes on him you fell in love and actually felt something unlike when you saw Jerry. 

“Why do you stay with him?” Maverick suddenly asked before he could stop himself.

“What?” You asked surprised.

“Why do you stay with him?” He asked again, this time not stopping himself.

“Because I love him.” You said you were unsure of yourself.

“Y/N this is not love. This is abuse. No man or woman has to put up with this. You should leave him and be with someone you love.” He said as he grabbed a napkin and started to wipe the blood off your lip.

“Like who?” You asked, looking at him broken.

“Like me.” He said and you continued to look at and then you realized he was right. That night you broke up with Jerry and with the help of Maverick and his squad, that you had met and fallen in love with and they fell in love with you, moved you out. 

A week later you began dating Maverick and it was the best decision of your life. At first it was a rocky road. You still had that feeling that you weren’t good enough for Maverick and that you should be doing everything for him, but he was quick to remind you gently that you didn’t have to do everything for him and it was a shared effort. You still had a lot of work to open up, Jerry and all of your past relationships had taken a toll on you. You day you were cleaning the kitchen with the help of Maverick and you two were actually laughing and having a good time when your elbow accidentally knocked a glass off the counter on the floor shattering it. Your entire world stopped and the laughter had stopped and you were quick to look at Maverick as he turned around. “I’m sorry.” You said and then bent down to start picking it up in a hurry. 

“Y/N/N-” He began in a soft tone but to you it was a warning sound.

“I’ll clean it up. You can go.” You said and he looked heartbroken but you couldn’t see it too worried about picking up the glass. You didn’t even realize that the glass had cut you but Maverick did and he was quick to rush over to you.

“Y/N, it's ok. It’s just a glass. Something that can be replaced. I didn’t even like that glass anyways.” He said and you looked up at him with tears in your eyes.

“You’re not mad?” You asked and he smiled and shook his head.

“Not in the least bit. Now come on and let me clean this cut up.” He said and you nodded and got up when he gently grabbed your wrist to gently lift you up. He led you to the bathroom and had you sat down on the counter and cleaned the cut and bandaged it. Then he kissed your hand and then you both went and cleaned up the glass and then spent the night together. 

You still had a lot of damage done by ex-partners. When you were with Jerry and the others you had to ask permission to go out with friends or do anything. Your friends had asked you to come out and you told them you would think about it. When you got home from school and Maverick was there working on some work you walked in hesitantly and he noticed this. “Everything ok, Babe?” He asked with a smile and then it turned into a frown when you didn’t answer.

“I was wondering if it would be ok if I went out with some of my coworkers. Would that be alright?” You said while looking down and this hurt him. What kind of man would break down a caring woman this much to make her afraid of asking to go out with some friends. He didn’t say anything and that worried you “It’s ok. I’ll tell them I can’t.” You said and he shook his head and got up and walked over to you and gently raised your head to make him look at you.

“Of course you can go. You don’t have to ask me. I want you to go and have fun. I just want you to be safe.” He said and you looked taken back at his words but smiled and your eyes brightened. That made him smile, if you were happy then he was happy. That night you went out and had fun with your coworkers and had a blast and your friends took notice of this and were really happy they were getting back their best friend. 

Maverick had been held up at work and he was running late and his phone had died. It was close to 8 PM when he finally got off work and he headed home. He smiled thinking about you being there and couldn’t wait to get you in his hold and just hug you. He pulled into the driveway and smiled when he saw your car there. He parked next to it and killed the engine. He got out and got what he needed and headed inside. When he walked in, he noticed that the house was silent. “Babe? I’m home.” He said and frowned when he didn’t get a response and then he heard sniffling. He walked into the living room and saw you crying and he dropped everything and rushed to you. “What’s wrong?” He asked.

“Are you cheating on me? I tried calling you and texting you but you didn’t answer.” You said and you looked at him through your tears and he shook his head.

“Not in the least bit. Cyclone held me up at work with more work. My phone died. See.” He said and pulled out his phone and tried to turn it on but nothing happened. “There is no way I would cheat on you.” He said. “Trust me.” He said and you sniffled and nodded. He smiled and kissed your forehead.

During one of the regular Dagger Squad meetups, he had brought you with him and you had stayed quiet for most of the night and Maverick respected you and didn’t push. Mickey was going on about a Star Wars movie that he had seen recently and you had also seen it and some of the others had too. He was asking people their opinions on it and everyone gave theirs including Maverick. “What’s your opinion on it?” Mickey asked, looking at you and you tensed up thinking he had gotten the person he was talking to mixed up.

“My opinion?” You asked a little nervously.

“Yes.” He said with a smile and you looked over at Maverick and he smiled and nodded his head at you.

“Well, I think it is a really great movie. In fact, I’m a huge Star Wars fan and I’ve seen all of them including the new ones.” You said smiling and Maverick was smiling.

“You are my new best friend.” Mickey said and he came over and hugged you and you hugged him back.

That was 8 months ago. Maverick thought you were making really good progress. Sure, it took some time but you were laughing more around him and others. You were speaking your opinions when asked and sometimes when you weren’t asked. You had stopped asking him for permission to do things instead you were letting him know what plans were going to be. 

It was a Friday afternoon when you were having lunch in your classroom when Maverick decided to have lunch with you. He walked to your classroom and knocked on the door and you looked up and smiled when you saw him. You waved him on in. He pulled up a seat to your desk and sat down putting his lunch in front of him and then setting yours in front of you. “I know how busy you can get so I decided to bring lunch to you.” He said and you smiled.

“Thank you. I had actually forgotten to grab mine this morning.” You said and he laughed. “I won’t be home for supper tonight. Some of the girls and I had planned to blow some steam off at a new local bar/pub that just opened up. They said you’re welcome to join if you wanted.” You said taking a bite of your sandwich and he smiled.

“I’m meeting up with The Daggers tonight. You go have fun with the girls. You’ll have to tell me how it is.” He said and you smiled.

“Oh, I will! It’s supposed to be really good because of the reviews that he received.” You said and you started going into everything and he just sat back and listened. He gave his opinion when it was needed. Maverick stayed until the bell for students to return sounded and he got up and gathered your trash and threw it away and then came over and kissed you. Students started to roll in one by one, some drooled over him and others were envious of him. But he was all yours.

The end of the day came quickly and before you knew it you were shooting a text off to Maverick.

Hey, about to leave the school and go out with the girls. Have fun with the squad! Love you!

In an instant you got a reply back. This was not the first time you said that to each other.

Mav: The Daggers are gonna miss you and so will I! You go and have fun! Love you too!

You smiled and walked to your car where your friends were already there. It was decided that you would follow one another and off you went. You all found parking spaces and got out at the same time. “This is going to be so much fun!” Violet said and everyone agreed.  Everyone walked in and got a seat and the night began. 

Round after round and a lot of food was ordered. Everyone was having a great time and nothing could ruin it. “Want another round of food and drinks?” You asked and everyone nodded. You walked up to the bar and put your order in and waited. 

“Y/N, is that you?” A familiar voice sounded and you force, it was one of your exes, Terry. You turned around and looked at him.

“Terry.” You said clamming up.

“Wow, look at you.” He said looked you up and down and it was making you feel uncomfortable. “How are you?” He asked leaning up on you.

“I’m good. Just to let you know, I have a boyfriend.” You said hoping that would make him go away.

���He let you go out looking like that?” He asked, looking you up and down.

“I came after work with some friends. He loves me, you know.” You said and he scoffed.

“Yeah, right. He’s definitely cheating on you and I don’t blame him. You’re not very good in any department.” He said

“That is not true. He loves me and I trust him. He doesn’t mistreat me like you did.” You said and he grew angry.

“Whatever bitch. He’s gonna leave you and I don’t blame him.” He said and stormed off. Your drinks and food were ready and you grabbed it and walked over to your table. You were quiet for the rest of the night and you decided to text Maverick. 

Hey, just checking in. Hope you’re having a good time.

You waited for a response and when you didn’t get on you grew anxious. Thoughts were coming back like what if he was cheating on you? What if he got sick of you and decided to leave? As thoughts were rolling through your head a text came through.

Sorry, just now seeing this. I’m having a great time. Wish you were here. 

That made you feel a little better. It was late and you decided to call it a night. The girls complained but understood and you left. When you got home Maverick wasn’t back yet. You parked your car in the driveway and shut off the engine and then you were walking into the house and decided to get ready for bed. Once you were done you crawled into bed and started to cry and that is how you fell asleep. 

Maverick arrived back to the house late and he smiled when he saw your car there. He parked his bike next to it and walked into the house but it was silent and he frowned. He called out to you but didn’t get an answer. He walked into the bedroom and found you fast asleep. He smiled and got ready for bed and then crawled in behind you. He wrapped an arm around you and fell asleep peacefully. 

The next morning you woke up early and noticed that Maverick was in bed with you. You smiled but it quickly vanished when everything from last night came back. You slipped out of his arms and decided to get your day started. You started to make breakfast for you and him. That is what Maverick woke up to and slowly rolled out of bed and headed into the kitchen. He smiled when he saw you making breakfast but frowned when there was a lack of music. He walked up behind you and wrapped his arms around you and that made you tense. “Good morning, Baby.” He said and frowned when you didn’t say it back right away.

“Hey.” You said and continued making breakfast. Then you were grabbing a plate for him and making it and handing it to him. “I made you breakfast.” You said quietly. 

“Thank you.” He said and then noticed you walking away into the laundry room. “Aren’t you gonna eat some?” He asked and you shook your head.

“No, I have a lot of other things to do.” You said and he frowned.

“You should really eat something.” He said and you shook your head.

“I’m good, thank you.” You said and disappeared into the bedroom with a load of clothes. He did eat but he missed you eating with him. Everything he had worked on with you had disappeared and that worried him. 

This went on throughout the day. You made him lunch and didn’t eat and you made him supper and didn’t eat. You asked permission to do things and were just on edge the entire time. It was truly concerning him. You shied away from his touch and when The Daggers were over and your opinion was asked you stayed quiet or gave a very brief answer. He hated the way you had back tacked. He wanted to get to the bottom of it.

Night drew closer and now it was you and him sitting on the couch watching what he wanted to before it was something you or the both of you wanted to watch. He paused the show and turned to look at you “Babe, is everything ok?” He asked and you looked at him.

“Of course.” You said and reached up for the remote but he stopped you and took your hand in his.  

“We need to talk.” He said and fear struck your heart. Was he mad about something? Was he going to break up with you? Was he actually cheating on you? 

“I’ll go and pack my things.” You said silently and he was quick to shut that down and pull you gently down.

“Where on earth did you get that idea?” He asked

“You said we needed to talk.” You said and he shook his head.

“I just wanna know what is going on in that head of yours. You’re not yourself.” He said and your head fell down and everything came spilling out.

“I saw one of my exes, Terry. He said some things that made me second guess us. He said that you were cheating on me and that you don’t love me. He also said he didn’t know how you let me go dressed like how I was.” You said and that infuriated Maverick.

“Babe, none of that is true. I’m not cheating on you and never in a million years would I. I love you with all my heart.” He said “You’re allowed to dress however you like but I want sexy clothing for me.” He said and you chuckled. “You’re my girl.” He said and you smiled and started to cry. “Hey, come here.” He said and opened his arms and you crawled into him. “I’m never leaving you. Ever.” He said and you nodded. He reached for the remote “Now what do you want to watch?” He asked and you told him and he smiled.

While lying there cuddled in his arms. You knew he was right. He wasn’t going anywhere and you weren’t either. He has made you feel like a normal person again and you just felt whole with him and you loved that feeling. “I love you, Maverick.” You said loud enough for him to hear and he did. He kissed your head.

“I love you too, Y/N.” He said

The rest of the night was spent in his arms watching what you wanted to watch. He loved you, truly, and you weren’t going to let him go anytime soon and he wasn’t going to let you go anytime soon. You two were it for each other. Nobody was going to change that, especially exes that decided to pop up.

Tag list:

@kmc1989

@els-marvelvsp

@atarmychick007

@nyx2021

@grandstrangerphantom

@angenu01-blog

@talesofreading

@callsign-revenge

[mngums]

ykkk!!!!!!!!!1!! I was thinking... How about a little smut to cheer up the ONCES on Mina's birthday? An enemies to lovers would be good. With.. hung!mina and dom!mina. you got me?

I got you!

⚠️: swearing. Tsundere & yandere!mina, hung & dom!mina. A little exhibitionism, degradation and a very little bdsm.

A/N: It's my very first time writing smut, have mercy

“What the fuck?!” Mina literally screamed in hatred. I felt my body feel heavy with that scream.

“You weren’t THAT bad.” Sana said back, she stood in front of me as if to protect me from Mina's sharp claws.

“I got a 3 on the test that was worth 10 and you say I wasn’t THAT BAD?!”

“You were horrible." I peeked over Sana's shoulder.

“Listen her-”

“Stop now, you two!” Sana pushed an angry Mina who was coming towards me. “Listen, Mina, listen. Y/N helped you with your studies because you were paying her, but there was no guarantee that you would be good. And you, Y/N, don't add fuel to the fire, you and Mina already fight like cats and dogs and you want to make the situation worse?!”

“I like to irritate her because she knows she's stupid and doesn't compare to me in terms of grades.” I subtly moved away from Sana, crossing my arms.

“You little...”

“STOP!”

Okay.

Sana screamed.

We really pissed her off.

“My bad.” Mina muttered under her breath.

“ ‘mY BaD’ ” I imitated her. “Apologize properly.”

“I'm sorry Sana.”

“That's better now."

A sigh left Sana's mouth. We had been at her house for a long time. Mina and Sana are childhood friends and Mina practically lives in Minatozaki's house. Sana asked me to go there and to our surprise Mina ended up going the same day. It wasn't our intention to meet so soon, especially on vacation, when we both want to rest. “I just ask that the two of them stop fighting, for God’s sake.” She began massaging her temples to relieve her headache and stress. “Please God, I can't take these two pests in my house anymore.”

“Pests?!” Mina argued.

I quickly hit Mina on the head. Does this girl think straight?

“Just listen, you two! I'm going to lock you both in that fucking room and I don't want to hear ONE scream or even ONE argument from either of you two! If I hear something, you two will leave my house in this storm, and I don't care if you live far away.”

Mina quieted down.

I adjusted my posture and sighed.

“You two go to the room.”

We didn't even want to argue.

Mina and I went to a separate little room, usually used to store stuff. Sana's house is no different, there were some large boxes and small cardboard boxes. Film paper, plastic, bubble wrap... Everything was scattered around.We turned on the lights, Sana closed the door with all the anger stored in her 19 years of life and locked us in.

1,

3,

5 minutes. It was total silence.

“Okay. So what do we talk about?” She asked softly.

“Why do you hate me?”

Silence.

“Wha-”

“Why do you hate me?”

“I don-”

“You do.”

Silence.

“No. It’s too embarrassing for me to say it.” I saw, for the first time, Mina getting nervous.I noticed her biting her lower lip, I looked at her for a while and then looked away. She seemed really nervous and embarrassed for some reason, and I was going to find out why.

“Ah, come on... It shouldn't be a big deal!” I snuggled up on a very small sofa there. I noticed that as soon as I sat down, I quickly sank. It had a broken spring and that's probably why it was discarded in the room. I wonder how the spring broke.

“It is. It actually is.” She murmurs and sits next to me, still a little far away.

“Listen, I'm not going to hate you for this. I won't treat you any different. Please, I want to make amends with you, I really don't like fighting with someone for years.” I moved just a little closer, enough so that she had no escape.

“Ialwayswantedyourattention!”

“Wh-”

“I always wanted your attention. Your fucking attention...” She made me look at her. and suddenly, it wasn't just her who felt nervous. “I WOULD get your attention no matter what I did.”

Mina's digits found my face, squeezing subtly. “And I had you, right? I had your attention. I couldn't get your attention by doing cute things so what I had to do was become your enemy.” A mischievous smile appeared on Mina's delicate face.

Holy shit...

And suddenly I feel short of breath.

“You.. You were always mine.” The smile disappeared and she let go of me.

“Mina, I..”

Shhh.

Her index finger stuck in my mouth, making me shut up.

And at the same time I felt scared, I felt so fucking attracted to her.

“You.. You need to be mine.” She got up and stood in front of me, leaning on the sofa, holding my face. “You will be mine, for now and forever.”  She kissed my forehead so gently.

“You got it?”

“...Y-yes.”

“Say it properly.”

“Yes.”

“Still wrong.”

“Yes ma'am.”

“Now that's a good girl.” Mina out of nowhere seemed so kind to me after so long of... "hating" me. “You look so damn good in that position.. Looking like a submissive little slut. Obeying me without even hesitating.”

My eyes widened and all the blood in my body drained into my cheeks.

“Mina.. Sana is going to come here, and...”

“ah ah ah... Do you really think Sana will miss us? We won’t be missed for a couple hours, we should take advantage of that.”

Oh, fuck...

Mina is a book.

And I got lost in its plot.

“Mina, no.. Me and you... It’s wrong.” I continued to deny it with all my might, even though my legs felt restless and Mina was marking my neck with her lipstick.

“Your eyes are already saying yes, now I just need your mouth to tell me the same.” Myoui whispered, her hands wandered to the buttons on my shirt, slowly unbuttoning them.

And finally, I give up.

I pulled her close, wrapping my legs around the thin waist of the taller woman who was removing my piece of clothing.

“You gotta be quiet or we’re gonna get caught, okay?” She reaffirmed, starting to kiss my chest.

“Okay..”

And damn, how she seemed to want it.

Completely ignoring the clasp behind it, she grabbed my bra and raised it above my breasts, with indescribable haste and hunger, she grabbed one of my breasts and put the other in her mouth greedily. and I seemed intoxicated, wanting more of her. More of those hands, that mouth...

“Take my fucking pants off.” I muttered under my already labored breath, “Please– Just take it away, tear it from my body.”

“Oh, my little princess... Do you think I'm going to do anything you want after you insulted me?”

“I–” I try to say “But..”

“No buts, young lady. You will obey me and remain quiet without complaining.”

My breasts, both marked with a shine, a mixture of her lipstick with a little glitter and saliva. And before long, my pants were really gone.

Mina removed them with ease, kissing my stomach while running her own hand down her body.

“There’s no rush– whenever you’re ready, we can do it.” She looked at me, I looked at her and put my hands on her hair, squeezing it.

“Go, do it.”

She smiled weakly in affirmation. Carefully so as not to scare me, she removed my panties, with part of it sticking a little to my middle due to the gooey pre-cum. She slid the panties down my legs and lifted them, standing between them and practically holding herself in place, as the panties were still around my ankles. Before anything else, Mina blew coldly on my wetness, making me squirm a little due to the sensitivity. Why did I actually imagine she would do that? The taller girl's freshly manicured nails dug into my thighs, the tip of her tongue came into contact with my slightly swollen lower lips. She kissed my lips and finally went up to my even more swollen clitoris, her lips subtly touched my swelling, pulling the skin with her teeth.

She wasted no time in starting to suck on the clitoris, eliciting the most needy moans of my life.

One of her hands left my thigh and went to her pants, I didn't see her taking it off but I could hear the zipper. Mina got up and got out of between my legs, taking my panties completely off my legs.

She, once again, kissed my forehead, began rubbing her glans against my wet entrance, forcing it close to her inches.

Fuck.. If I knew Mina was like this, I would have asked her why she hates me before.

“Are you okay? May I continue?”

“Please..” I almost begged. I wrapped my arms around her neck and let her move.

Mina began to move her hips, strongly but slowly.

And she did everything she could, she just didn't give me a heart attack because my body wouldn't let her.

Little by little, Mina started to move a little faster, going deeper.

“I thought since you’re soaked it wouldn’t be that hard.. But. You’re so fucking tight.” Her dense voice filled my ears. “And even so, you keep bouncing on my cock like a desperate little whore, don’t you?”

I only realized that I was moving on her when she warned me. It was literally automatic.

“Just.. Ple-ase... Min-Fuck.. Keep going.” I laid my head on her shoulder, I felt my breathing start to get bizarrely heavy, it was lucky for me that it wasn't bothering me too much.

And Mina fucks me so well. Filling every tiny inch of me, barely caring if she's about to tear me apart.

“What are you, hmm?”

“y-yours..”

“Say it again, sweetheart.”

It was even worse to respond when Mina brought a finger to my clit. I opened my eyes wider and rested my forehead on her shoulder, being able to see more beneath her. Of course I noticed my body trembling, seeing a small roundness formed at the beginning of my belly, moving. Mina's cock could even be seen from outside.

Is she a fucking monster or what?

“Mina..!” I moaned her name, scratching her back again. I looked at her, my eyes filling with tears from the pain. The pain I liked.

“Don't give me that abandoned dog look. Come on, say it.”

“I'm yours!” My orgasm started to build, Mina started to go faster and harder. Holy shit, this woman wants to ruin me.

“What are you?”

“Min– F-fuck! I'm yours. I am completely yours.” My mouth formed a perfect 'O', I threw my head back on the couch, my nails dragged across Mina's already bruised back.

It was a moan, a long last moan that was louder than I expected.

Mina stopped moving when her dick was covered in my cum, and I didn't regret it for a single minute.

“You’re okay, right?” I let out a sigh of relief mixed with sadness when she pulled out of me.

“I couldn’t be better.”

We looked at each other for a few seconds, she giggled and kissed the tip of my nose.

Mina picked me up, sat down and left me sitting there, calming me as if I were a baby.

“I'm sorry for... Everything. All this years.” I started.

“Shhh... It's just you and me now, okay?”

I just sighed and agreed.

A few minutes passed and we managed to calm down. Mina pulled out my shirt thrown on the floor and covered my body with it, placing it over me like a small blanket.

“Apparently you two have reconciled.” Sana says, peeking through the door.

“SANA!” we both scream

———————————————

[daydreaming-paradies]

The Sun to My Darkness

Summary: Missing an Childhood friend is hard but it takes a lot of time for that special someone to come back. For this one boy: His sun has come back to him

Ship: Xiao x GN!reader

Word Count: 1,134k words

Warning: hurt/comfort, Xiao being a little emo, insecure reader, mentions of a divorce, reader and Xiao missing each other deeply, sweet reunion

Recommend listen to: Shameless by Camila Cabello + Heart a La Mode by Hastune Miku

If anyone asks Xiao who is his one true love, he might say his sunshine with a deadpan expression. 

Xiao was the type of boy who seems distant and cold towards others except few close ones but in this case: He still has not let go of his heart because of a certain person. You..you held his heart and unexpectedly took a piece of him with you.

You and Xiao are total opposites. You were a happy and friendly child while Xiao is a distant and cold boy who refused to let anyone near him but you. He is mad at anyone else but you. Like that is picking favorites. Xiao always remembers how you always barge through his room and ask him to go outside with you and play. Or how you got in trouble because you got into a fight with some students because they are bullying Xiao. And do not get him started on how every time you see Xiao, you proudly say “My Darkness’ like it is a normal everyday thing to you.Those memories replays in Xiao’s head rent free and he hates it and loves it. It has been..years since he last saw you..since he last saw that goofy smile on your face. It was in the middle of summer in 3rd grade elementary school. You were not your normal self..you were mostly down and had that gloomy aura. Xiao always knew you well..even when you tried to lie to him. With a lot of prodding and poking, you broke down and confessed to Xiao.

You are moving away..to another state due to your family problems. Xiao did not understand it at the time but he now knows that your parents had a nasty divorce which resulted in your father having full custody of you. Xiao never liked your mother and it is unfortunately sad how she ruined a perfect family but then again, Xiao does not care about her..he cared about you and you alone. How lonely Xiao feels without you..How his world is nothing but darkness…

Meanwhile, you are no different from Xiao except the fact you have gotten more collected and still sociable. You still have new friends but none of them is like Xiao. None of them treated you the way Xiao treated you. You always spend your nights thinking how Xiao hugs you when you have to run away from when your parents started arguing. How Xiao defended you when your mother mocked you. Everything about Xiao still haunts you..you want to see Xiao again but when? Maybe fate decided to make this into a reality.

When the new day of high school arrived, Xiao felt his world grew darker and more lifeless as usual. He shows that same stoic expression on his face as he walks to class, just letting his friends talk like any normal day but he caught something in the corner of his eye. He could have sworn that he saw a familiar (h/c) person standing near the lockers with that expression on their face. “Hm?” The teal haired male was confused but he thought nothing of it. ‘Is it not them right?’ He thought to himself as he entered his class and went to his seat. ‘It can’t be them..they moved away years ago. They could not have moved back here..right?’ Xiao just looked out of the window as his peers filled the classroom which Xiao paid no mind to as they were just peers. After the teacher walked in and started the class like normal, Xiao paid little or no attention to the boring speech until he heard this from the teacher: “Class. We have a new student. Please come in.” 

The class door opens and a person walks in, eyes watching the figure who walks to the front of the class. The person was quiet for a moment before speaking. “Hello everyone.” Xiao froze and slowly turned his head to face the source of the voice. “My name is [name] [last name]. It is a pleasure to meet you all. Please accept me with open arms.” Xiao’s gold eyes made eye contact with familiar [e/c] eyes which widened in shock but it softened and curled to express their happiness. Xiao could not believe his eyes..it is you. His sunshine..his sun. You are back! You are back!! To everyone’s eyes,Xiao looks like he doesn't care but deep inside,his heart is racing like it is in a marathon. He watches you sit down next to him and smiles which makes him want to hug you right here and now but he can’t because he knows how you do not like it how you two hug when eyes are literally watching you two like hawks. So he waits until lunch time so he can drag you to a private place.You just watch how Xiao just walks up to your table, gently drags you away by your wrist as he ignores everyone’s questioning stares and whispers along the way.

After you two are now alone in the empty classroom, an awkward silence falls between you two which makes you uncomfortable. Understandably so since it has been years. Years since you two last saw each other. “H-Hey Xiao.” You started but you were interrupted by Xiao pinning you against the wall, startling you. “X-Xiao?! W-What is wrong?” You ask Xiao as said male did not reply but he just stared at you with his golden eyes that are so sharp that you felt like his eyes are staring deep into your own soul. "My sun..you have come back to me." Xiao cups your face with his hands, trying to fight back tears. "You have come back to me. The world was so dull without you. I cannot handle living without you..please..promise me that you would not leave me again..” Your eyes widened in shock before tearing up, confessing your feelings. “Xiao..you are always on my mind. Not a single day has you not left my mind. My heart belongs to you..and your heart belongs to me,Xiao. I am not letting you go,”

Xiao’s eyes widened in disbelief before they softened like a feather. His thumb rubs over your bottom lip, slowly leaning in that your both nose is almost touching. He stares at your lips and whispers hoarsely to you. “Kiss me..” He licked his lips “please..my sunshine..” You obey his order and kiss him on the lips, letting Xiao deepen the kiss.

You are the sun to Xiao’s darkness. Now you two are finally reunited once again and you two are not letting each other go again..not even fate can not separated you both.

~Taglist: @areislol @snobwaffles @ryuryuryuyurboat @dailypenpen @windblume-wishes @husky-studies @kalims @rrxaiky @ainescribe @asoulsreverie @mccnstruck @loreilane @sweetlyvibe @rxugesworld @starglitterz @yuan4i @kxttqi

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not asking my childhood friend's permission if I could invite my other friends with me while I visit my childhood friend in her college dorm?

(Fake names used.)

I (20F) went with my college roommate, Percival (22NB), to visit Percival's close friends in another college town overnight. My childhood friend, Mary (20F), goes to the same school as Percival's friends, but they had never met.

I asked if I could go visit Mary, and Percival and their friend Curtis (22NB) said that was totally fine (Curtis was the one driving us). Percival and Curtis seemed excited, and I took that moment to clarify that I didn't think it'd be a good idea for Percival and Curtis to go with me since Mary grew up in a religious and conservative environment like me (I have since learned so much about the LGBT+ community thanks to Percival and their endless patience, and I am growing into a more open-minded person).

I thought back to a year before when Mary and I went to the local amusement park for the college nights, and I told her I discovered I was bisexual. She reacted a little coldly, saying that she couldn't support me because it didn't align with her religion. I was a bit bummed, but we moved past it and had a fun time at the amusement park regardless.

Remembering this moment, I said that I wasn't sure if Mary had grown out of her anti-LGBT+ phase like I was trying to do. I was worried about Percival and Curtis being thought badly of, and I didn't like the idea of inviting people Mary didn't know to her dorm. Thankfully, Percival and Curtis were very understanding, and they dropped me off at Mary's dorm building.

Mary met me in the lobby and walked me up to her dorm so we could catch up. It was pretty nice since we hadn't seen each other since last year. The conversation progressed, and I brought up that I was visiting my college roommate's friends with them. I mentioned that they had dropped me off and that I asked them to hang back because I didn't want to invite strangers to Mary's dorm without asking. After hearing this, Mary blew up at me, saying, "I get to decide who can come into my dorm! You don't get to decide that!" I was shocked because I really wasn't expecting Mary to get mad at me for asking my other friends to hang back while I visited with Mary without asking Mary how she felt about the situation. If I were in Mary's position, I would've been relieved that I was spared the experience of meeting strangers.

I was so surprised by Mary's reaction that I just agreed, said sorry, and moved the conversation elsewhere. We were able to move past the awkward (for me) interaction and had an okay time talking about something else until I left, and Percival and Curtis picked me up.

AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[ballad-of-birdy-lamb]

Could I please request a Lucy Gray x fem!reader where Lucy Gray and reader have grown up together and they realize they love each other, but reader's parents would be TOTALLY against it, so she's hesitant. Lucy Gray tells her it's fine to love whoever you love. I would love to read it if you could write it. Thanks for reading my request:] <3

If you were a boy

Lucy Gray Baird x Fem! Childhood friend! Reader Summary: Fem! Reader is a childhood friend of Lucy Gray and fall in love with each other. While spending a night at the lake house, the idea of a romance grows and makes you question what you had learned long ago. Warning: homophobia, internalized homophobia, girls kissing 😨, friends to lovers' trope, reader is mentioned going on a date with a man but it's for plot relevance, lowkey angsty, I don't know how to write internalized homophobia so be warned. Word count:2.7k

♫⋆｡ ♪ ₊˚♬ ﾟ.

"Would you have kissed him?" Maude Ivory poked fun at you, grinning widely at her question. You scrunch your nose at her willingness to ask such a thing.

"No! I don't kiss boys after our first date," you giggled as you spoke. The rustle of the tall, yellowing grass brushed against each other, making 'wush' as you walked past. The blinding white sun shined onto you as you walked next to Lucy Gray, Maude Ivory walking between the both of you.

You were correct about that though; you would have never kissed a boy after your first date. The idea made you feel so gross. You barely knew those boys and they always gave you a gross feeling whenever they told you things you didn’t find attractive. Either way, you never kissed them.

"Don't ask such personal questions, it's rude," Lucy Gray remarks, tugging at the young girl's hand to get her attention to something else. Maude Ivory laughs and continues walking next to her. “But seriously, you never kissed them?”

“Hey! You can’t ask that, that’s personal!” Maude Ivory mocked the girl, which caused Lucy Gray to scrunch her nose, smiling, nonetheless. She turned her attention back to you.

“No, they were so odd. They seemed like sweet guys, just not my type,” you remarked, waving off the idea of dating those men.

__

The day passed quicker than you would have preferred. The moon now hung over the lake, shining a silver light over the dark blue water. The rest of the Covey had gone to sleep in the lake house, having laid blankets on the flooring of the cabin. On the other hand, you and Lucy Gray were outside hanging up the wet swim clothes.

The conversation had started off peacefully, making talk on Billy Taupe and his sudden appearance at the Hob a week before and how your life was going with your job and helping with the Covey. But it all trailed back to one event in your past you would have preferred keeping hidden.

"You remember when we were younger, and we were at your home when your parents weren't home?" Lucy Gray said quietly. You nodded; you remember it vividly. Lucy Gray was invited to your home, but your parents needed to go to the market for food. So naturally, you played together in the garden. You remembered how you had kissed her, it wasn't out of any friendship like love, it was something that made you always feel fuzzy. At some point in your life, you pushed off the idea and never felt it again.

But she kissed you back.

"Yeah, I remember," you replied and nodded your head, looking over at her. Her dark eyes stared back at you, looking deeply into yours. You looked away from her quickly, wondering if you gaze long enough, you would have gotten lost in her eyes. “When you…”

“Kissed you? Yeah… that’s what I mean,” she finished your sentence for you, holding one of the swimsuits to the clothesline. You press your lips into a line and do something similar to what she was doing, hanging the cloth with a wooden clip.

“Why’d you bring it up?” You asked and glance at her. Lucy Gray's deep purple dress seemed to blend into the dark night surrounding you two, the only parts you could really see of her was her tan skin unhidden by the dress.

"You liked me, did you not?" Lucy Gray says and gazes at you, expecting an answer. You purse your lips, wondering if your answer was truly as important to her as it was to you. Lying was an easier answer. You did like like her but not anymore.

"I don't remember, Lucy Gray. It happened a long time ago," you answer plainly. It was a plain old lie, you remembered it very well. You remembered how the flowers smelled and what colour her dress was the day you kissed her first. As little as you wanted to remember such vivid imagery, you could basically smell the flowers each time you thought about it (which was very little). "It was just a phase I went through, everyone goes through that time in their life."

She tilted her head at your last sentence, hesitating to continue moving. Nonetheless, Lucy Gray accepted your answer, pressing her lips into a line, then looking at the grass below her feet. Her fingers picked at her dress mindlessly, bringing it between her finger and thumb then dropping it back against her leg.

“I haven’t been to your house in a long while. Are your parents still doing well?” She inquires and bends down to grab another piece of clothing.

“They moved across town, let me keep the house since they didn’t want me moving to a random spot they didn’t know about,” you answer blankly.

"That's nice," she smiled and glanced at you. The silence lasted an eternity (or what felt like it) until Lucy Gray spoke again. "Why don't you like the boys you date? I can understand finding a red flag and not finding them attractive again, but you just keep going on these dates yet none please you...?"

The question made you pause, the wet cloth causing your palm to grow cold. "Just... trying to find someone good enough for me," you assure and clip the cloth to the wire.

She sighed and finally set the clothes back in the basket. "(Y/n)," Lucy Gray says calmly. "No one goes through a phase where they want to kiss girls."

"What does that have to do with anything?" You ask, slightly annoyed at her suddenly going on about the kiss you shared.

"I'm just saying that...," Lucy Gray trailed off, looking down at her hands, which fidgeted aimlessly. "Please tell me you weren't in love with that boy. Any of those boys."

Her words shocked you. You had gone on and on about how the guys you had dated weren't people you even liked, hell, they weren't even kind to you. Now she's showing she cares about the possibility you're in love with someone.

As much as you didn't want to admit it, you weren't in love with those boys, each date felt bland and never brought you that flurry filled feeling Lucy Gray's kiss had given you years ago. You swallow thickly.

"No...," You finally answer. It was almost like it was against your will to answer. But if you hadn't, Lucy Gray would have accepted it. "I wasn't in love with those boys, you know that."

She looks down at her hand and lightly, mindlessly, traces the veins on the back of her palm.

"You're in love with someone, you've said so. I want to know who it is," Lucy Gray pleads, sucking in a breath. "I promise I won't tell a soul. You can trust me."

Your eyes watered at her request, your mouth growing sour from your growing tears. You knew how stupid it was to cry at such a question, but you couldn't help it. Your lips drew back into a line, hoping to stop you wanting to cry.

Each second that passed made you realize how little you loved those boys, like wasn't even a good enough term to give your feeling for them. You simply felt nothing for them. Every date you went on made you so bored and made you wish you were with someone more entertaining, more lovely than them. Lucy Gray was a good fit for that someone.

It finally hit you. You were in love with Lucy Gray. As many times as you had hoped she would press her lips to yours again and wished you could hold her hand like a boy would a girl, you never understood why you felt that way. You would supress that feeling each and every time you felt it and went on your way to find a boy to love, which never worked out.

Your line pressed lips drew back into a slight snarl look, but you felt no anger, only despair at the realization. Falling in love with a woman, truly horrific. As odd as it sounded, you wanted to at least calm your nerves and know you were normal. Normal in the way that you loved, being held by and kissing by a boy. Your eyes were sparkling in the lackluster moonlight.

"You," You blurt out. Your tears blurred your vision, causing you to look away out of not wanting her to see you so tearful. "It's always been you, as little as I want to be."

Lucy Gray gave you a blank look before swallowing thickly, her hands pulled away from yours. “Oh,” she says quietly, looking down at her skirt covered legs.

Hesitantly, you brought your hand to wipe your tears from your eyes.

"Would you kiss me?" Lucy Gray muttered, looking down at her hands with a look of sadness. Your mouth filled with sour saliva, you desperately wanted to cry. Sob to her that something was wrong, something made you want to kiss her.

"If you were a boy, I would have kissed you so many more times than I already have," you swallowed thickly, praying you wouldn't burst into tears about the idea. It wasn't that big of a deal either. You didn't care about the fact that Barb Azure was dating a woman. Personally, you were happy for her. But you could never bring yourself to think of being with a woman in the way Lucy Gray wanted to be with you, not without thinking it was disgusting.

"If I were a boy...," Lucy Gray drew her lips back into a line after repeating your words. Her nose scrunched at your response, you knew you gave an answer she wouldn't understand. "Why must I be a boy?"

"I wouldn't feel so guilty if you were one," you answered brokenly, your voice squeaking softly. "I've always felt something for you, I've known that. No matter how many times I went out with a boy, I couldn't help wishing you were with me. I may hate myself for how I feel for you, another lady, but I will never view you with hatred because I would break my own heart."

Lucy Gray's eyes widen at your confession, her eyebrows scrunching upward. You tried taking in breaths, hoping to calm yourself from how emotional you got over a simple confession of feelings.

“You don’t like that feeling,” she said simply, as if you didn’t already know that. “I remember your parents told me not to come around a lot since they thought I was a bad influence… You told them about that, about the kiss, didn’t you?”

You didn’t look at Lucy Gray, wondering if she was just really good at hiding her anger or if she truly was not angry. Nonetheless, you nodded, finally giving her an answer. Gazing at her again, she sighed.

“It’s fine. You didn’t know they wouldn’t like what we did,” Lucy Gray answered, accepting your reaction. “It rubbed off on you too.”

You tilted your head at her words. “Rubbed off on me?”

“Yeah, they didn’t like what we did and neither did you.”

“It didn’t rub off on me,” you say defensively, hoping she would understand that you liked that kiss as much as her. You give her an angry look.

"(Y/n), why don't you want this? I like you, you like me, why can't we have something?" She inquired, almost pleaded for you to answer. "If you have something else in your life, that's ok, you can tell me."

Looking down at the empty wicker basket, you thought about her answer. She liked you and you liked her. It was already sickening enough to think too hard about that. It brought a sour feeling in your mouth.

"I don't know," you sneer and look away from her again.

"Not that good of an answer," Lucy Gray mumbled and looked down at the green grass under her feet. She was right, it wasn't a good answer.

Several minutes (or what you felt were minutes) passed by without a word from either you or Lucy Gray. Maybe it was to calm you or because there was genuinely nothing to say. But, at some point, she couldn't help giving you an offer.

“I can kiss you again, if you’d want,” she mutters, looking down at her hands which had her fingers curled around each other nervously. The idea scared you a bit, wondering if she would be as gentle as she had been so long ago. You blinked away your tears.

"What if I don't like it?" You ask, though it was more so a whisper. "There's a possibility that I won't feel kissing is my thing."

Lucy Gray took in your words and nodded quickly. "You can kiss me and see if you like it. I won't do it again if you don't feel kissing is your thing," she assures and takes a step closer.

You press your lips together, making a slightly downturned shape. "Fine," you say reluctantly, as though your heart wasn't beating faster than ever before.

"I'll be gentle with you, alright?" Lucy Gray muttered and stepped closer. It was a bit awkward, preparing yourself for the kiss you partially (fully) want.

She leaned her head forward, but the suddenness of her movement caused you to lean back cautiously.

Your hesitation caused Lucy Gray to pull away, which immediately made you grab her hand to pull her closer again. "I mean it when I said I wanted to see if anything changed," you state and tighten your grasp on her hand.

Lucy Gray nodded again and leaned closer to you, causing you to suck in a breath. Her hands go to the sides of your face, her tan fingers grazing your cheekbones, holding your face in her hands gently.

"I'm a bit nervous," you mumble, hoping to lighten the mood from how awkward it felt to get to kiss your best friend again. Lucy Gray smiled and took another step closer, which you didn't think was possible.

"That's alright," she said quietly, not trying at all to hide her grin. "I won't move too fast."

Nodding, you swallow thickly and wait for her to press her lips to yours, which came quicker than you had realized. Lucy Gray's lips were soft and warm and much more experienced than when you were young. The one you had together in your parents' garden was similar to a peck, having pressed your lips together and pushed them out, making sure her nose wouldn't touch yours.

But now, this was sweet, the kiss was sweet, she smelled sweet. Your senses seemed to heighten at the feeling of her pressed against you. You could feel her breathe through her nose, the exhale brushing your skin. You didn't try opening your eyes, hoping you wouldn't make it awkward for yourself.

Lucy Gray didn't pull away immediately, she kept you close, holding your face in her delicate grasp. The small voice in your head that made you feel that this was wrong faded out, making sure you only focused on the girl who was kissing you.

Your hands trail from your side to her arms, grasping at the soft skin of her wrist. This was what you were told to hate? This was what you didn't want yourself to have? You couldn't believe you would keep yourself far from her romantic affection, the thing you have longed for, even if younger you didn't want to admit it.

Lucy Gray finally pulled away, as much as you wished she didn't. "Did you like it?" She asked, her index finger brushing your cheek in a petting motion. She couldn't stop herself from grinning from ear to ear, obviously giddy at the romantic gesture.

Your eyes were trained on her, your face growing warm with something you could only point out as affection. Affection for Lucy Gray. Again, you were hasty to initiate the kiss yourself, your hands pushing her hands from your face so you could keep her close.

A small smile grew on Lucy Gray's lips, letting out breathes from her nose in soft spurts, mimicking a laugh. You would have laughed too if getting a kiss was your only answer too.

"If you were a boy, I would have kissed you so many more times than I already have." Thankfully, Lucy Gray didn't need to be a boy for you to kiss her, kiss her as many times as you wished, and drink up her affection like it was fine wine.

♫⋆｡ ♪ ₊˚♬ ﾟ.

I woke up from my slumber to write about lesbians, Lucy Gray, and lesbian Lucy Gray. Also, I JUST started making my shit aesthetic. My tbosas masterlist

[cupiohearts]

CUPID IS SO STUPID ?! - kazuha, albedo, kaeya, diluc, aether, alhaitham, childe.

there were a total of 7 people you've been ever loved before. all of them you loved for every word they've ever said. all of them have rejected your love and every word stung.

after 7 years they all got sent your letters. reading it and understanding the same feelings that you had. seeing how you saw them.

KAZUHA was your childhood friend when you were younger. someone who you knew well due to your parents. it was a dumb childish puppy love that no one took seriously not even him.

"kazuha!" you cheerfully exclaimed as soon as you went to daycare. he was at the front with his stuffed animal of a small white cat one that his older friend had given him.

immediately taking his hand inside of yours and holding onto it tight. your parents looked from afar as they saw clear signs their daughter was falling in love with someone. they were whispering amongst themselves about how long it would last till you latched onto someone else.

you paid no mind to this because how could you ever love someone else when kazuha is right there. happily talking to him about your weekends although he already knew since you spent the weekends at his place.

it's been 8 years from kindergarten and you were still friends with kazuha and no matter how hard you try. no matter how many hints were thrown his way he wouldnt pay you any mind. chalking it up to something similar to how a little sister views her older brother.

it was only in the middle of summer did you realize that your feelings would never be taken seriously.

that summer you were sitting on the field with your friends when you saw kazuha from far away. you watched as he talked to his friends and talked to the girls around him. a sting in your heart.

you watched as his expressions changed while talking to them. a face he's never shown you before, the face someone makes while talking to someone that makes them nervous.

he didnt see you as a friend, he saw you more like a sister.

.

.

.

kazuha was now in his late 20's. he wasnt strictly tied down to any work place but he was known to freelance around the crux's fleet.

a shop on the seaside that sold all kinds of goods from the ocean. often seen hanging inside the shop as somewhat of an exibit for people to see considering how pretty he is.

beidou came strolling inside, running her hand through her hair while holding a small letter in her hands. "its for you kazuha. havent opened it yet. its from someone with the intials yn." she says to him. placing the letter next to him where he was admiring the view.

"y.n? i dont think i recall knowing someone with intials like that" he muttered. taking his headphones off and rested it on his shoulders. grabbing the letter and gently opening it up.

a letter. a formally written one. not a typed up one that would be professionally made. the handwriting was hard to read but he could recognize the handwriting still.

'kazuha,

i really really really really really REALLY like you. :D i hope we can still be friends even if you dont like me back because i enjoy hanging out with you and youre my best friend in the whole world! - (y/n)' alongside doodles of stick figures holding hands with flowers and hearts.

theres something written near the bottom in a pen instead of crayon. this handwriting was different. one he doesnt recognize all too well. compared to roughness of the crayon and the letter. the words written with pen were gentle and a bit shaky.

'i just found this. if you ever recieve this letter please visit me someday. i would love to catch up and see how you are'

kazuha felt his heart race a bit. the corners of his mouth glide wider and he chuckles at the letter. "my childhood friend sent me a love letter from back when she was a kid. i wondered why she strayed so far away from me back then.. now i know" he says to beidou. showing her the letter in his hands.

a light blush on his face as he rereads the letter over and over again.

you had drifted apart from him when you two reached middle school. he assumed it was because you two were becoming teenagers and just matured. now he understands it was because you were in love. he supposed you were too shy back then to tell him your feelings.

oh how he wished he couldve told you how he felt.

[piningintrovert]

Drunken Kisses & Mixed Feelings cont'd

In my last post, I talked about how Kawi's penchant for kissing Pisaeng while drunk might lead to the argument that prompts Pisaeng to say this line:

To my point, @captain-xandis dropped an absolute gem of an analysis in the tags about this scene:

#i totally think this is why kawi stops pisaeng from kissing him in the past #their argument in the future might go along the lines of 'every time we've kissed you were drunk' or something like that #and kawi not wanting to make the same mistake again will only kiss p when they are both sober

This sent me spiraling so I'm hopping back on the meta train once more. Wanna come with? Stand clear of the closing doors. The next stop is...

Why did Pisaeng go AWOL?

Max tell us that Kawi knows/is the reason why Pisaeng goes off-grid, but we never get an exact answer. So here's my two-point theory.

Emotional Exhaustion

In the scene before the second drunk kiss, Pisaeng remarks that Kawi hasn't been free to hangout in last three years? Well, that got me thinking. During the last three years, has Kawi only gone to find Pisaeng when he's drunk and in need of comfort (and kisses)?

Being someone's "comfort zone" can be emotionally exhausting, especially when there is no reciprocity and the comfort-seeker is your longtime crush who is currently in a relationship with your childhood friend. Needless to say, the internal conflict and resulting emotional toll is strong in this one, which brings me to the second point.

Guilt

We know from the 8-year flashback scene (anniversary of Pisaeng's confession) and Pisaeng recalling the day Pear broke up with Kawi that he goes to their apartment often (he even has a key card) which is why this look between him and Pear gave me pause.

Pisaeng's facial expression goes from slight shock to what looks like guilt when he realizes that Pear is leaving. On the other hand, Pear's body language (the way she releases and tightens her grip on the suitcase handle) tells us that she's angry but not surprised by Pisaeng showing up at this exact moment (the fact that she's standing between the two of them in this scene also says a lot).

Then we see her facial expression. She is visibly angry but there's something else. She definitely knows about Pisaeng's feeling for Kawi and their more-than-friendship situationship (her knowing about Kwan and Not alludes to the fact that she's always aware of what goes on behind her back).

And if that wasn't enough, when Pear leaves the apartment Pisaeng ends up being flanked by Kawi on all sides but is closer to a larger-than-life picture of Kawi while the real Kawi still remains (romantically) out of reach like he's been for the past twelve years.

It's no wonder our boy needed to get away. It no wonder he was feeling conflicted during that second kiss. It's no wonder that he will finally reach his limit and cut Kawi off?

And as @sparklyeyedhimbo points out in their post, it's no wonder Kawi is so distraught when returns to the past and is determined to "set everything right" because he simply cannot bear the thought of losing Pisaeng again.

Is it next Friday yet?!!

[luellasplanet]

glitch. (klara bühl)

word count: 919

based on taylor swift’s song ‘glitch’

in which you express your feelings for klara after weeks of ignoring one another

England vs Germany. Your home vs her home. Your family vs her family. You vs her. You vs the love of your life.

It was supposed to be you and her against the world.

You had been head of heels for Klara ever since she sat down opposite you on the bus. Coming to Germany with the bare minimum of basic german knowledge proved to be quite a challenge, and you struggled to understand what everyone was saying most of the time.

Most of your teammates spoke English pretty well but they all preferred to speak german to one another, often leaving you on the outside of their jokes as they didn’t know how to translate it to English.

You chose to sit alone on the bus, the girls speaking German around you made you realise exactly how bad your knowledge of the language really was.

But there she was, your saving grace.

Offering a helping hand and a smile as she taught you the language, on the bus, before every match.

She opted out of some team bonding sessions to be with you in your apartment, showing you around the city, helping you set up your apartment and teaching you german along the way.

Things had felt different ever since you had gotten back from winning the euros, this time accompanied by your fellow England teammate, Georgia. You were more at home with your childhood best friend by your side.

a slight malfunction

But you missed your other best friend. She had started distancing herself from you shortly after your return from England.

After the final whistle was blown she was instantly in your arms, softly crying into shoulder as you whispered how proud of her you were into her ear.

It was in that moment that Klara realised that she was totally and utterly infatuated with you.

But ever since you had come back to Germany ther was an awkward tension that roamed over the both of you like a dark cloud.

i thought we had no chance

She had barely spoken to you over the last month, even Sydney had tried to make Klara talk to you.

But nothing, the girl basically refused to look you in the eye half the time. Speaking very few words to you at training and only when deemed absolutely necessary.

we were supposed to be just friends

“This is so stupid, can you just talk to me please,” you plead with the girl standing in front of you.

“Please Klara,” you almost whisper as you gently grab her hand, forcing her to look at you.

The two of you were at the farmers market, after about a week of pleading she had finally decided to come out with you.

“I can’t y/n, I’m not good at this whole feelings thing!” She answers without looking directly into your eyes, instead choosing to focus her vision on your hands that were still attached to her wrist. Your eyes widen at the statement, while confusion is evident on your face as you scrunch your eyebrows together, “feelings thing?”

“Just tell me what’s up with you, please,” god you had never heard yourself sound so desperate before, but something had been off for the past month and you couldn’t continue living like it didn’t effect you.

She finally looks up meeting your gaze, you could see her eyes had glossed over slightly but no tears had fallen. “Ich bin in dich verliebt, aber ich war so eine schreckliche Person und eine Freundin für dich. Es tut mir so leid, dass ich dich völlig ignoriert habe, aber ich habe nicht gedacht, dass du genauso fühlst, also wusste ich nicht, was ich tun sollte.” (I’m in love with you, but I’ve been such an awful person and friend to you. I’m so sorry that I completely ignored you but I didn’t think you felt the same way so I didn’t know what to do.)

“Oh kla,” you tell her looking at her face that was filled of regret. “Ich bin in dich verliebt, seit du mir angeboten hast, mir im Bus Deutsch beizubringen. Zuerst war es keine echte Liebe, mehr Anziehungskraft als alles andere, aber nachdem man dich besser kennengelernt hatte, wurde es zu echter Liebe… Klara Bühl Ich bin in dich verliebt.” (I’ve been in love with you ever since you offered to teach me German on the bus. At first it wasn’t real love, more attraction than anything else, but after getting to know you better it became real love… Klara Bühl I am in love with you.)

Finally meeting your gaze, her smile had widen as she interlocked your hands together. Glancing between her eyes and her lips you slowly lean forward waiting for her to react. She learnt forward as well, connecting yours and her lips together.

You had almost forgotten that the two of you were standing in front of an orange stand, smiling against her lips you pull away, while keeping a firm hold on her hands. Relishing in the feeling of her hands entwined in yours.

“Soooo… will you go out on a date with me?” You question, rubbing your thumbs over her knuckles. Far too shy to look up at her.

“Of course I would y/n!” She laughed at your shyness before dragging you by the hand to go look at the flower stands.