#this post was typed up not from a place of despair but from a place filled with the same emotions that a dog chasingits owntail experiences

[prans-micellar-water]

to knowis to be loved and to be known is to b eloved. I want transgender friends who will know me and love me in a way that cis people usually do not

[topguncortez]

Happy grad!!!

Could you please write an angst writing with reader hurting swayman using the prompt "Why would you say that? " ?

Thank you!

Only Love Can Hurt Like This - J. Swayman

hockey masterlist || g's graduation celly

warnings: angst, issues with body image, online bullying, cursing, miscommunication, hockey inaccuracies

word count: 3.8k

synopsis: what was meant to be a cute video taken by the Bruins social media team, turned into a never ending cycle of rude online comments and threats. What's worse, is your fiancé's in the first round of the playoffs and he can read you like the back of his hand

Life with Jeremy Swayman was how one would think it would be. He was as charismatic and sassy as he was on the ice and in interviews. He cared for those he loved, he did everything in his power to keep a smile on your face. He was the type of boyfriend who would buy you “just because” flowers and cook your favorite meal when there was even the slightest hint of a frown on your face. He was the type of boyfriend who knew when your period was going to start, and would make sure to be stocked up on your favorite snacks and any supplies that you would need. He was the type of boyfriend who did his best to shield you away from the hate and the trolls that came along with being with a hockey player. 

Jeremy had seen first hand how hard some people could be on the internet. He did his best to ignore the comments and the tweets, but sometimes, drowning in your own despair after losing a game was much needed therapy. 

It was actually your idea to keep your relationship private. Jeremy was the type of person who loved out loud. He loved showing off the people he loved, wanted to boast about their accomplishments to anyone and everyone who would listen. He didn’t necessarily like being the center of attention. . . but he also reveled in it. But you were the complete opposite. You never were one to post about everything single thing you did on social media. You didn’t like to be the center of attention or have everyone’s eyes on you. For the first couple months of dating, you managed to fly under the radar, which was an accomplishment in itself, but one instagram story posted by your golden retriever of a boyfriend had boosted you from “internet ghost” to “who's the girl with Jeremy Swayman.” 

The speculation firestorm had started and it ultimately led to some tech-savvy fans finding your instagram and screenshotting all of your personal photos to post on their fan accounts. At first you found it kind of sweet, the captions on the fan accounts calling you beautiful and a queen, and “Mrs. Sway” (even though at that moment in time you had only been dating for three months). But then it all started to get weird, some people finding out your birth place, your parents names, where you went to high school, where you went to college. Then the hate accounts started to rise. The vile, awful comments about you and your appearance, how you are only with Jeremy because he’s Jeremy Swayman, and one fan went as far as commenting what apartment building you lived in. 

You had never felt so violated and at a loss what to do in your life. You loved Jeremy with all your heart. You loved everything about him. It nearly broke you in two to sit down with him, tears streaming down your face as you told him about what had been going on. You thought that he would break up with you, right there in then. If you couldn’t handle being in the spotlight, then you couldn’t be the one for him. You had been replaying in your mind how you would handle it when those five words would leave his lips. Except, the opposite happened. 

Jeremy wrapped you up in the tightest, most bone crushing hug he could muster, and cried as he tucked his face into your neck. He had no idea that his one silly instagram story of you singing karaoke at the bar would turn into a mess of this caliber. He felt horrible that his “fans” were saying awful things about you and had threatened your safety. A sick feeling arose in his stomach at thought of something happening to you because of his job. 

“I’m so sorry,” Jeremy sniffled, pulling away from you, “I never wanted this to happen, I just didn’t. . . please don’t leave me. I-I’ll say something or make a post- you can move in with me! I have a state of the art security so you don’t have-” 

“Wait,” You cut off his rambling, grabbing his hands, “Leave you?” 

“Yeah,” Jeremy said defeated, “That’s what you’re doing here right? I mean, I totally get it. You have every right to feel protected and safe and not have to-” You grabbed his face with both hands, and cut his rambling off with a searing kiss. Jeremy immediately reacted, his hands going to your hips, as you kissed him. 

You pulled back breathlessly, looking into those brown eyes that you loved so much, “Jeremy Ryan Swayman, I am not leaving you. Never in a million years would I think of leaving you. . . unless you-” And now it was Jeremy’s turn to cut you off by pressing a kiss to your lips. 

“Never,” Jeremy whispered against your lips, “Never ever. You’re stuck with me.” 

And for the past three years, that’s exactly where you have been. Stuck with Jeremy Swayman. You watched him grow as a goaltender and a player, which had to be one of your favorite things. He had gained so much confidence in the past three seasons with the Bruins. 

Since that day you broke down to him about the fans, the two of you had done everything you possibly can to keep your relationship off of social media. You deleted all your old social media, and made new private accounts. You and Jeremy moved into a new apartment together (he couldn’t stand the thought of someone finding out where he lived and putting you at risk, again.) Most fans had thought that you and Jeremy broke up, since your lack of presence on his social media, but the eagle eyed ones still spotted you at home games, sitting a couple rows up from the goalie net. Every so often a video of you at a game, down at the glass with Ully’s or Jeremy’s family would come up on your social media. But for the most part, the fans had completely forgotten you existed. 

That was, until the playoffs had rolled around. 

You were beyond excited for Jeremy and the Bruins to make another play-off run, after last season's heartbreak. You could remember the tear stained face of your lovable boyfriend as he walked out of the locker room and collapsed into your embrace. Brad and David did their best to console Jeremy, but he was in the state of mind to not listen to them. He was the goalie afterall, his one job was to block the other team from scoring and he failed. 

This year though, Jeremy and the Bruins were ready to make a run for the Cup. They wanted to go all the way, and were going to do all they could to get that Cup back in Boston. Though, Jeremy was excited for playoff hockey, he was also excited to see you in your WAG jacket. You opted out of getting one last year, not really feeling like you fit in amongst the rest of the wives and girlfriends of the players. You hated comparing yourself to them, but you couldn’t help it. You weren’t tall and skinny and blonde and a model like most of them. Hell, you were a third grade teacher, making not nearly a quarter of what Jeremy makes. You felt out of place amongst the WAGs. But this year was different, you had somewhat found your place, and you had the Ullmark family to thank for that. 

“Do you know what they look like?” Jeremy asked as he scrubbed the dishes after dinner. 

“No idea,” You shook your head, “Katrina and Rebecca handled all the design and stuff. I just had to go in and get measured.” 

“Your first WAG jacket,” Jeremy said with a dreamlike sigh, and looked over at you, that boyish grin on your face, “We should frame it after we win the cup,” You rolled your eyes, “No seriously! We can hang it next to my UMaine jersey. It’s poetic.” 

“Just another thing in this house with your name on it.” 

“Ahem,” He cleared his throat, pointing his finger at you, “It’s your name too.” 

A blush coated your cheeks as you looked at the diamond ring he had proposed to you with about three months ago. It was the most beautiful diamond that you had ever seen, a gift given to Jeremy from his grandma. The two of you had been waiting to tell more people about the engagement, but also wanted to wait until the season was over. If things could go Jeremy’s way, you’d be neck deep in the middle of wedding planning about now. 

“Soon,” You corrected, putting the last dish away. 

Jeremy dried his hands on a dish towel, before throwing it on his shoulder. He grabbed your hips, pulling you to him, “Soon enough,” He placed a kiss on your lips, “I bet you’ll look so hot in your WAG jacket. You already drive me crazy when you wear my jersey. Now you get your own custom made jacket with my name on it? I don’t think I’ll be able to keep my hands off of you.” 

You shook your head, patting his chest, “You’ll have to try, big boy.” 

Jeremy let out a groan as you walked out of his embrace. You put an extra swing in your hips as you walked to the bedroom, knowing he was watching your ass the entire way until you turned down the hall. 

— — —

It felt weird driving to TD Garden without Jeremy by your side. You had never been here without him, and felt a bit like a fish out of water as you parked in his designated spot, which was right next to Moa. You felt a wave of comfort roll over you as she smiled at you, getting out of her car to greet you. 

“You’re here!” She smiled. 

“I am,” You wiped your sweaty hands on your jeans, “Is this okay? Does my hair look okay? What about my makeup? I never put any on except for important events.” 

“You look great,” Moa said, and you could tell she was genuine. You had spent a whole forty-five minutes staring at your closet and another forty-five trying on different outfits. All Katrina and Rebecca had said was to dress your best for the photo shoot, and you weren’t entirely sure what that meant. Luckily, being a teacher, you had an arsenal of clothing for business casual. But you weren’t sure if your definition of business casual met their definition of business casual. 

“I’m nervous,” You mumbled, picking at your hands. 

Moa grabbed your hands, “I know. But there’s nothing to worry about! It’s just the girls!” 

“Yeah. . .” You sighed, as Moa threw her arm around you and walked towards the locker room where the rest of the wives and girlfriends were. 

The jackets were better than you could ever imagine. The brown leather looked simple and chic, with the logo on the front and the players’ last name on the back. You couldn’t help but feel a bit teary eyed as you ran your fingers over the stitching of your fiance’s last name. He was right, maybe you should frame it when the playoffs are over. 

Donned in your Bruins leather jacket, you and the other wives/girlfriends made your way to the plaza in front of TD Garden. The girls so naturally clumped together to take pictures, as you stood somewhat awkwardly in the midst of them. It wasn’t until Katrina pulled you to stand next to her, and wrapped her arm around your shoulders that the tension in your body eased. An easy smile arose on your face as you posed with the girls in different locations. 

“Moa and Y/N, can we get a video of you two doing the Ully-Sway hug?” One of the social media interns asked. You eagerly nodded your head, getting pulled by Moa. It was easily one of your favorite traditions in Bruins hockey, watching your bubbly, happy fiance hug his best friend after a winning game. There was something about watching two grown men, donned in goalie pads, throw themselves at one another and spin around in circles that brought a warm and fuzzy feeling to your belly and a bright smile on your face. 

You didn’t even think twice as you recreated your fiance’s famous hug with Moa. Laughter filled the air as you hugged her tight and spun in a circle. You didn’t even think twice when you got the tag on tiktok, watching the video in comparison to Ully and Sway’s over and over. You didn’t even think twice when you sent the link to the tiktok to Jeremy asking “who did it better?” You didn’t even think twice as the Bruin’s comment section was filled with fans tagging you and asking if you were back and how they knew that they saw you at games. 

You didn’t even really think about the video being on social media, until the hate comments started rolling in. 

The video hadn’t been up for more than 24 hours when the trolls and the “fans” started spewing their hateful words that you had tried so hard to fight off for the past three years. You tried your best to not pay attention to the comments as the video spread across tiktok and onto instagram and twitter. But the innocent video of two friends recreating their husbands iconic hug, turned into fans posting pictures and videos of you leaving TD Garden with Jeremy, or out on a run by yourself, or even some of the photos the WAGs had tagged you in. The pictures didn’t necessarily bother you, as much as the comments did. 

“She’s still with him!” 

“Duh, gotta play the part to get the cash.” 

“Dying for one of the WAGs to give her a makeover.” 

“How well do you think she sucked d for the jacket????” 

“I thought we got rid of her” 

“It’s nice to see a midsized wag” 

“Since when did puck bunnies become wags” 

“Living every puck bunnies dream” 

“I miss his old gf, she was prettier” 

“She's probably for the team” 

“He will realize soon when she leaves him if he doesn't get the cup” 

“And how many more does he have in other cities?” 

You were sitting at your vanity, fighting with your inner thoughts when you should’ve been getting ready for the first game in the playoff series. It was a big night for Jeremy, and all you wanted to do was get dressed in your outfit that you and Moa had gone shopping for and wear that beautiful brown leather jacket with your future last name on it. But you couldn't bring yourself to do it. You couldn’t bring yourself to take your hair out of the curlers you had begrudgingly put in your hair, or start your makeup routine, or even get dressed as you sat in one of Jeremy’s dress shirts and panties. Jeremy was singing loudly along to his pre-pre game playlist in the bathroom, not paying any mind to the war that was going on in your head. 

The comments had gotten worse since some of the wives posted pictures of everyone in their jackets. Some fans had found your new instagram account, tagging you in the comments. You felt horrible that their nastiness was being left on other people’s posts. It made you feel as though they were growing to resent you, as no one had reached out and invited you to sit in the box, until Moa did this morning. It took all your strength to not break down and cry, knowing that you had been left out of planning of something, when you finally felt like you had made it “in” to the group. 

The comments were also taking a toll on yourself image. You took longer than necessary staring at your naked body in the mirror, analyzing every stretch mark, scar, and blemish on your skin. You pulled and pinched at your belly, your hip dips, your chin, and your thighs. All the places you had been insecure about the most, the fans seemed to figure out and make comments on. It was truly amazing how the comments could drive so deep into your heart. 

“Baby!” Jeremy’s cheerful voice sounded out as he came out of the bathroom, dress pants on his perfectly chiseled body. You clenched your jaw, fighting back the anger. Normally, you’d be drooling over the sight of his perfect abs on display, his pants low on his hips, but right now it made you angry. Sure, he followed the meal plan that his trainers gave him, but he’d also have his cheat days. But you’d never know looking at him. You’d never know that this man could pack away a dozen donuts like it was nothing. But you felt like you'd pop the button in your jeans if you even ate one. 

“Babe?” Jeremy asked, catching your attention, “What’s wrong? Why aren’t you dressed?” 

You blinked, looking down at your makeup brushes laid out in front of you, “I got distracted.” 

Jeremy wasn’t buying it for a second. He knew you like the back of his hand, and could sense something was off from a mile away. He walked over to you, kneeling down in front of you and grabbing your hands, “Honey, look at me.” 

You glanced at him, fighting back the tears that threatened to spill. You had been trying everything that you could to hold back from breaking down. Tonight and this playoff season was too important to Jermey and the team that you couldn’t be breaking down in tears over some stupid people on the internet. But the way Jeremy was looking at you, searching your eyes for any idea of what was bothering you, the flood gates broke. 

“I’m sorry,” You sobbed. 

“Oh honey,” Jeremy cooed, pulling you into his strong arms. Your body shook as you cried, his hand on the back of your head, whispering sweet nothings into your ear and running a comforting hand over your hair. Hearing you cry made his heart break, and tears well up in your own eyes. He tried so hard to make sure that you never had a reason to cry like this, and he felt like he had failed you. When your sobs had been reduced to sniffles, Jeremy pulled you back gently, his hands cupping your face and brushing away the stray tears. 

“Please,” Jeremy pleaded, “Tell me what’s wrong? And don’t lie to me. I know something’s been bothering you for a few days now. Please tell me, so I can fix it.” 

You shook your head, a sad smile on your face, “You can’t fix this.” 

“Well, I can try.” 

You let out a shuddering breath as you grabbed your phone, opening up your camera roll and showing him the screenshots of a series of comments from several different posts. Jeremy’s eyebrows furrowed as he looked at them. You watched as he went from confused to angry to sad. He looked up at you, his brown eyes wet with tears. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” His voice was barely above a whisper. 

You shrugged, wiping your nose, “Cause you’re busy and it’s the playoffs and I shouldn’t be bothering you with this-” 

“Bothering me with this stuff? Why would you say that? You’re not bothering me with anything,” Jeremy shifted closer to you, “You are my life, Y/N. You are my everything. For better or for worse. In good times and bad. I might not be able to fix all this, but I will do everything I possibly can to make it better.” 

The tears fell even harder as you looked at him. He looked torn to pieces that you had kept this from him, and it made you feel horrible. You thought you were protecting him by not bringing this up, but it had made you feel even worse going through all this alone. 

“I just feel. . . I feel like I have fucked everything up,” You admitted, “They’re leaving comments on the girls’ posts, and on the Bruins’ page. I mean, it makes sense that the girls didn’t want to invite me to the box tonight.” 

“What?” Jeremy’s eyebrows rose in confusion. 

“They didn’t invite me to the box,” You said, your voice sounding small. 

“No, baby, no,” Jeremy shook his head, running hand down his face, “I. . .” He sighed, “I let it slip at practice that I proposed.” 

“Jer!” 

“I’m sorry!” Jeremy exclaimed, “I know, I know you wanted to wait until after the playoffs to say something, but. . . you sent that video and Ully said something about “our girls look good” and I said “you mean our wives,” He shook his head, “Ully told Moa and Moa told Katrina and Katrina wanted to surprise you with a small engagement type party in the box.” 

“It was supposed to be a surprise?” 

Jeremy nodded, “It was supposed to be a surprise. I didn’t know that all this other stuff was going on, but I promise! I promise. . . they weren’t leaving you out, baby.” 

“It was supposed to be a surprise,” Tears welled up in your eyes again, and this time Jeremy was confused, “That’s the nicest thing anyone has done for me.” 

Jeremy felt his heart flutter in his chest, as he wiped a tear away from your cheek, “I’m sorry I let it slip and didn’t tell you about the surprise,” He grabbed both of your hands in his, “And I am so sorry about the things they are saying, but none of it is true. It is the farthest thing from true. You are my everything. You are the reason I wake up in the morning, the reason I smile, the reason I get out on the ice every day. You are the reason for everything. And nothing is going to change that.” 

“You don’t care that I don’t look-” 

“I’m not even going to let you finish that sentence cause that’s just ridiculous,” He shook his head, “I want you. I will always want you. Even when we’re 80 years old, and I’ve taken one too many pucks to the head and can’t wipe my own ass, I will want you, as long as you will have me.” 

“I’ll want you too,” You said, a tearful smile on your face, “And you’ve taken one too many pucks to the head now,” He chuckled, bringing your knuckles up to his lips. 

“I’ll keep taking pucks to the head if it means that it makes you smile.” 

“As long as you have all your teeth.” 

“No promises.” You rolled your eyes and playfully shoved him away. Jeremy stood up, and gently tilted your head up so he could place a kiss on your forehead, “Fuck what they say cause nothing matters. The hate they spew is because they’re jealous and miserable in their own lives. What matters is you and me. As long as we are happy, they can just fuck right off.” 

You smiled up at him, “I’ll always be happy with you.”

tagging: @roosterdobson cause you're the reason I'm obsessed with a man who catches rubber pucks for a living

[elainavoid]

LN4 - Thunderstorms

Helllo lovelieesss! Seeing Lando Norris on my pinterest feed does something to me and I just want to write abt him all the time!! Anyways, with this post, you can see once again that i’m obsessed with rainy evenings even though it’s literally sunny outside in the middle of November lol. Anyways I hope you enjoy this one, love you <3

You were lying on the gray linen sofa in your living room. Snuggling with the soft blanket on you and watching some true-crime documentaries. Your home was all cozy and cute while there was a literal chaos outside. It was pouring, and you could hear the thunderstorms through the thick walls. You paused the video, and slowly walked to the kitchen area. Opening the fridge, you searched for some snacks, craving something sweet, you looked around, there was nothing sugary but a half-eaten dark chocolate bar. You sighed while closing the door. You threw yourself to the sofa, huffing in despair.

That’s when you heard a knock on the door. It was a very quiet knock, almost like the person who knocked was very shy doing that. But you were sure you heard something. Wondering who could it be, your brain went through every type of scenario. Maybe it was your downstairs neighbor? Maybe the apartment complex couldn’t carry all that rain and now there was a flood? But you would’ve known that. Walking up to the door, you asked “Who is it?” before opening. Maybe it was a serial killer dressed as a courier.

“Y/n…” His voice was breaking, “Can you open the door?” he sounded in despair, you opened the door to see Lando. His curls were soaked, the hoodie he had on was wet.

“Oh Lando.” You softly spoke, “Come on in, you are trembling.”

You invited him inside, stepping aside so he could enter your apartment. Closing the door behind him, Lando held out his arm to give you the bag. “I brought the ice-cream you liked. You know I- i thought maybe we could share it while watching something. I know we broke up three months ago but those storms really make me uncomfortable.”

You stared at his blue eyes, all of the memories you made suddenly rushing to your mind. And you remembered your first date with him...

“I hate thunderstorms.” Lando confessed. You laughed, “Really?” He shook his head while smiling. And that’s when you guys decided, you would meet at each other’s apartment whenever there was a storm, you would sit together, watch something while eating snacks.

Returning to the reality, you found Lando, waiting for an answer from you. “Yeah, we can do that.” God, who were you to refuse him when he was looking at you like that. Especially when he was in this situation. He smiled, it was a quiet way of saying thank you. “But you might need to get changed. You’re going to get cold if you don’t.” Your sentence was cut by his sneeze. “Sorry.” He mumbled, you patted his shoulder as you walked to your bedroom. Lando was following you but he stopped at the door. Not sure if it would be okay to come inside. You pulled out an oversized sweatshirt and a gray sweatpant from your wardrobe. You handed them to him, Lando looked at you, he seemed surprised. “You kept them?”  You shook your head, not looking at him. But you could see he was smirking now. “Well you never came back to get them. What was I supposed to do? Throw them away? I couldn’t bring myself to do that, they hold so much memories.”

Lando didn’t reply. He just stared at the pieces of clothes that he held. “You can take a shower if you want to. I’ll be in the living room.” Before he could say anything, you walked past him and made your way to the living room. You heard the door close after a few seconds after you left him there. Walking to your kitchen counter, you pressed your kettles button to boil some water. A cup of linden tea would be great for cold.  You spent some time, preparing the tea. You also opened the ice-cream package. And got two spoons from the drawer. After placing them on the wooden coffee table, you waited for Lando. You opened one of his favorite episodes from friends.

He arrived a few minutes later, looking cute in his sweater. You missed it on him. He sat on the other edge of the sofa. But as the show played, he got close to you little by little. You placed some of the blanket on him. He smiled at your actions. One of your hands and found his under the fabric. As soon as he felt your skin, your fingers interlocked. He put his head on your shoulder, mumbling a small “I missed you.”

“I missed you too.” You said as your free hand ran through his half-dried curls. They were soft, just like you remembered. He smelled like coconut, because of your shampoo. After a few minutes of playing with his hair, he raised his head and looked at you. “I can get used to this again.” He spoke while drawing some circles on your hand. “I hope you do.”

[astraxxei]

thinking about lovesick corrupted yan venti 🤤

he was nice enough to give his darling their own room to “be nice” but they have a chain attached from thier ankle to the bed and its only long enough to go to the four corners of the room

thinkign ab how he doesnt think its noncon because it brings them clsoer together

thinking ab darling who just gor kidnapped and gets their ass punished for biting his dick mid bj

he would punish them by hurting them back lol

u should totally write ab reader biting his dick ( like as a way of attacking him ) and getting punished for it

yes this is a noncon request 😞

gn!reader possibly?

- :3

Hi :3 anon! OF COURSE I'LL DO TS. THE BITING IS SO FUNNY HELP ME.

✧.° - You belong to me, darling...~ ♡

ft VENTI from Genshin Impact.

WARNINGS : NSFW: SEXUAL THEMES. INTERACT AT YOUR OWN RISK. DARK CONTENT. ( :NONCON. Sadism/Masochism. Slight blood. Violence. Yandere themes. Character is a yandere. Reader is a victim. Degradation.)

Yandere! Corrupted! Venti. Reader uses they/them pronouns. Reader is gn. AU where corrupted Venti is the ruler of Mondstadt and reader is an innocent citizen. Oneshot: requested.

This is a dark content post. If you do not wish to see this type of content, please block the corresponding tags. I am not responsible for any person reading this. Reader discretion is advised. Any hate will not be tolerated. By proceeding under the cut, you confirm that you wish to see this type of content and you have FULL responsibility of what you're about to read and interact with.

~ ♡ ~

Even ever since you knew about what Barbatos has become, you did not wish to leave your birth nation. Strange, yet endearing, that you had such a strong connection to your homeland that you didn't want to leave even while you knew that your archon had been corrupted with a mind full of malice and power and then... nothing. Destruction and despair, but you preferred to endure than run away. Scared and stunned, you ran and ran like a chased criminal from the wind. You had went out to buy some apples, but suddenly you felt like the breeze has been after you. You felt like this for a while, every single time you stepped foot out of your home, like something was chasing you, a strong desire to make you it's possession filling in it's blood.

But the wind blew so hard this time, it knocked you on a tree and you passed out. About time, because you've been losing sleep lately, you though before blackening out. You suddenly wake up and... You feel strange. Your head hurts, but you're on a soft bed. But you try to get up and...what is that you feel? Restraints? Chains locked in your ankle on the bed.

You realized you could only move to reach the corners of the small room. The chain attached to your ankle was starting to hurt, but you didn't notice that. More importantly, you were scared. You didn't know what was going on. Who was the one that chained you, restrained you, in a place you've never been before? You hear a faint laugh in the distance. Malicious laugh... sending shivers of terror down your spine.

The one climbing up the stairs to the little room you were currently in was no one other than the Anemo archon himself. Your eyes widen. You can't believe you got into this situation.

"B- Barbatos?!"

"Call me Venti, dear~"

His voice is sweet like sugar cubes, but it's scary and intimidating at the same time. He is average heighted, his glowing, pink eyes are staring into yours. His huge smile is spread across his face, and you swear that even in your weak vision you can see blood staining his delicate clothes.

"Look darling. You're mine from now on~ I gave you your own room~ I should be getting rewarded for being so kind and sweet...to my lover. Come here, and I will teach you how to show me your appreciation all day~"

Terrified, you shake your head as he walks towards you. You were scared, so scared, oh, what a monster...

You almost don't notice how swiftly you're being pulled towards him. You try to protest and squirm but his hand is grabbing your hair so hard it hurts and you almost cry out in pain. A malicious laugh is the response you're getting.

"Ahahaha! Look at you, trying to get away from the Anemo archon! This is a way for both of us to bond, you know...you should want it...You should be good to me...or else... I might do something you won't really like...my lovely dearie~"

You stop protesting as his hand on your hair is hurting you too much to handle. Before you realize it you're lowered down to his crotch and as he throws his clothing to the side you see his erection pent up proudly right in front of your face. Your eyes widen at the sudden realization of his size, but you remember, he's a god, so you're not anymore surprised. He looks down at you mischievously and smiles widely as he runs his hand through your hair.

"See that? Well, you better take care of it. I don't have all day."

You sigh in despair of how you got yourself into this situation. You part your lips and start taking it slowly inside your mouth, sucking slowly and looking up at him with a slightly indifferent look. You see his flushed face as he grabs your hair tighter and pulls your head towards himself roughly, the sounds of pleasure escaping his mouth as soon as he feels yours around him.

"Aaah~ Mmph~ Haah~"

He tastes so good. You don't want to admit it to yourself, but you like it. You really like the sensation. But at the same time...you get slightly annoyed. You've been denied freedom and a good life because of this faulty archon, and now he's forcing you to suck on his dick? You feel absolutely degraded. You decide you can't tolerate this, no, for your nation, and your own sake, you can't.

Without even thinking you bring your teeth to bite down. Not too hard, but enough to cause pain. You see Venti's eyes widen and tear up slightly as he lets out a pained squeal and pulls back from you immediately.

You pant and breathe heavily, looking at him as your saliva is connecting your mouth with his tip. Suddenly he looks down at you with a very angry expression and before you know it a hard, sudden slap makes it's way across your face.

"That hurt, you fucking whore!"

Your vision goes foggy. You whimper and place your trembling hand on your cheek. The chain is still tied to your ankle. You look up at him, shaking. He looks down at you, breathing heavily, but seemingly less angry than before. He kneels down and his hand quickly wraps around your neck. It's really hard, and it hurts. You try to whimper out your words.

"..'m sorry..sor- hnn..."

He lets go of your neck and smiles. "This is what you get for being a disobedient slut. Don't worry, I still love you though~ disobedient or not, you're just my adorable little toy..."

He looks down at you with a wide, mischievous smile and caresses your cheek.

"...and I'm going to do anything in my power to make sure you understand that you're mine and mine only. The feeling of me will be implanted in your brain forever. You belong to me, darling...~ "

~ ♡ ~

A/n: I have never written anything more toe curling in my whole life. Also I managed to not laugh while writting the biting part. I did not expect this to happen.

[spookyscarydemonbabe]

Near Death

A/N- Merry Christmas Eve to those of you that celebrate 🖤 i feel like i’m definitely posting this too late but it’s the first fic i’ve finished in a WHILE and i miss writing so much 😭

Summary- Eddie’s been trying all summer to get your attention, and he’s planning on getting it by any means necessary. Even if that means putting himself in danger.

Genre- Hurt/comfort (i think?), fluff

Warnings- mentions of drowning, CPR, giving mouth to mouth

Tag List- @thatsthewaythechrissycrumbles @munsonology @esme-viridian @gvf23 @wheels-of-despair

Word Count- 3.9k

“You can’t be serious…” Jeff said to Eddie, a shocked expression on his and the other boys faces as they approached the lake.

“Oh, i’m serious,” Eddie smirked as they started to hear the shouts and laughter as they saw the edge of the sand, “and it’ll work.”

“Yeah, but the only downside is that you could die.” Gareth laughed.

“That’s a sacrifice i’m willing to make.”

Over the summer, Eddie and the boys decided they might as well put their free time to good use over summer break and volunteer to help out at the local summer camp. Not because they wanted to, but because it was basically the only place that would let them to as little work as possible and still have all of them on the same off days. Not to mention, Eddie got to see a lot more of you there.

He didn’t think girls like you were interested in volunteering at summer camps, but that first day he saw you down by the lake, sitting at the end of the pier, lathering sunscreen on your body in your little red bathing suit keeping watch over the campers and counselors as they jumped and splashed in the water.

He wanted you so bad. If only he could get your attention.

You’d smile and wave at him in passing just like you did with all the others at camp, but Eddie always let his gaze linger on you just a little longer afterwards. He didn’t know what it was, but something about you just made him so eager to break open your quiet shell and see the real you.

You weren’t the type of girl to be rude to any of the other counselors, for the most part everyone liked you quite a bit. You were just quiet, kept to yourself, but you were confident in your loneliness. You were never seen with any of the other cliques of counselors, and you liked it that way.

Eddie and the boys found a small area to place their towels and clothes on the sand, of course with the perfect view of you at the end of the pier.

“So let me get this straight,” Grant started as him and the boys stripped down to their swim trunks, “you’re going to pretend to drown so that (y/n) can ‘save you’ and do the whole mouth-to-mouth thing? You’re going to kill yourself for a kiss that isn’t even a kiss?”

Eddie shrugged as he pulled his hair back,

“Yep, pretty much.”

“I think this is the dumbest idea you’ve ever had…” Jeff smirked.

“Fine. But when it works, you can all go fuck yourselves.” Eddie said with a smile, rolling his eyes as he separated himself from the group.

They all shook their heads in disbelief, not sure wether they should laugh or be worried about this idiotic scheme. Either way, it was going to be awful fun to watch.

Eddie slowly approached the pier, making sure to keep out of the way of the campers running to jump off the side into the designated deep end. Everyone knew that past the pier was a drop off, going down almost 20 feet with god knows what resting at the bottom of the lake. He knew that if he wasn’t careful with his plan, he’d be stuck down there too.

He could feel his palms get sweaty as he got closer and closer to you, hearing your giggle as you watched the kids do their weird stunts to get your attention as they jumped off the pier.

You were laid back, your legs dangling off the end with your toes in the water as your arms ere outstretched behind you to keep you held up, hair down, sunglasses over your face. You could feel his presence behind you and smiled to him as he approached closer,

“Hi Eddie.” You said to him with a smile.

“Hey (y/n).” He smiled back, looking down at you and hoping your sunglasses could hide your eyes well enough not to see the pink on his cheeks, “How are you?”

“Good.” You said with a giggle, taking little glances back and forth between him and the kids splashing in the water, “You?”

“Good.” He smiled, obviously a bit nervous, though even he wasn’t sure if it was because he was with you or because he knew he would be faking his own death within the next 10 minutes. “Do you mind if i sit with you?”

You shook your head and moved to the side, giving him a little more room to sit at the edge of the pier with you,

“I don’t mind. Scared of the deep end?” You joked, giggling as he took his seat next to you, his feet in the water next to yours.

“‘Deep end’, what, it’s maybe 6 feet?” He watched another kid run and jump into the water next to him, a few drops of water landing onto your legs.

“Just about.” You turned your head, looking at the water past the rope blocking off the drop off, “It gets really deep over there though, i think close to 20 feet.”

“Damn, really?” Eddie slowly stood back up and stepped carefully over to the end of the pier, nervous, but ready to put his plan into action.

“Be careful!” You told him sternly, “It drops off almost as soon as the pier ends.”

“Really?” Eddie slowly leaned over, peeking over the edge with a smirk on his lips, “Doesn’t look that deep-“ Eddie cut himself off with a shout, not expecting his plan to go awry.

He had planned everything out from start to finish. Sitting next to you at the pier, having a little chat, falling into the deep end and having you dive in and rescue him, pulling him back onto shore and giving him the kiss of life. He didn’t expect a kid to slip up on the pier behind him and push him into the lake.

The fall caught him off guard, and as soon as he hit the water it was like every thought he’d ever had about swimming had completely left him.

You gasped as you watched Eddie disappear beneath the murky water, quickly consoling the kid that ran into him, assuring him that you knew it was an accident before yelling for all the other kids lined up to do their jumps to get off of the pier. The other counselors on shore called the kids back into their groups to do a head count.

You stood at the end of the pier and tossed off your sunglasses, jumping into the water after Eddie.

It was cold, murky, and you knew it was bad for your eyes to keep them open underwater but you didn’t care. All you needed to do was get him back up safely. Thank god he wore the trunks with the yellow flowers on them.

You quickly swam down to him, grabbing his arm and keeping a tight grip on it as you swam back up towards the surface.

As soon as you broke the surface of the water you swam to the end of the pier, doing your best to lift him up onto the end with the help of the few counselors that came to your aid,

“Pull him up,” You said as you caught your breath, climbing back up as they lay Eddie out onto your towel, “lay him on his back.” You crawled over beside Eddie, pushing back the counselors to give you some room.

A wave of anxiety rushed through your veins as you looked down at Eddie. No movement, no motion. It was terrifying.

You didn’t want to lose someone like him.

“Eddie?” You spoke softly to him as you knelt at his side, “Eddie can you hear me?”

No response.

You reached your hand out to his neck, feeling for his pulse for a moment, but there was nothing.

Your instincts moved you quickly, both hands clasped together on his chest, pushing back and forth, up and down at a constant and quick rhythm. With every 30 pulses you would put your ear to his chest, listening for a heartbeat, but after the third round you knew that it wasn’t helping much. He needed to breathe.

You moved quickly, tilting his head back and moving your hands to keep him stable, one hand holding beneath his chin to keep his mouth open while the other held his nose shut. Everyone was crowded at the beach as they watched you work, eerily quiet. You couldn’t imagine how Eddie would feel after it was all over.

You took a few quick breaths before leaning down to him, your mouth over his, trying so hard to break that barrier and push the air back into his lungs, swapping back to chest compressions after each breath, hoping and praying that one of them would be the one to bring him back to consciousness.

It was agonizing, and though you couldn’t tell how much time had gone by since you started, it was like time stood still. You weren’t stopping until you knew Eddie was back, until you knew he was safe.

With one final breath, you leaned down and pushed the air into his lungs, thankfully for the last time.

You felt his body jerk beneath yours and turned him onto his side, and you’d never been so relieved to see him coughing up the water that was held in his lungs.

He was gasping for air, taking deep breaths as he slowly moved onto his back, and you could hear the crowd of campers and their respective counselors applauding as a few of them rushed to quickly move Eddie back off of the pier and down to the first aid cabin. At least he’d be safe there.

You stood up with him as two of the counselors slung his arms over their shoulders, propping him up and walking him carefully back to camp. Your hand never left his the whole way back, and though he still wasn’t strong enough to speak, you could feel him gently squeeze your hand in his. Almost as if he was trying to say ‘thank you’.

You stayed by his side the whole walk to the first aid cabin, but Eddie stayed silent. You couldn’t tell if he was still in shock, embarrassed, or scared of the whole ordeal. And you wouldn’t blame him if he was.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It had been a few hours since the incident, and by this point everyone had nearly forgotten about the ordeal from earlier.

The kids were playing their last few games outside before getting ready for bed, their counselors were either keeping an eye on them or getting the cabins ready, but you and the boys had been worried sick about Eddie.

He hadn’t spoken a word since the pier earlier, at least not to you, and it scared you to death not knowing how he was. All the camp nurse said was that he needed rest, he didn’t have any brain damage from the lack of oxygen but he would have some chest pains from the constant compressions, other than that he would be completely fine within the next day or so. Still, you worried for him.

The boys were nice enough to keep watch over him to let you head back to your cabin and change out of your bathing suit, and you were more than grateful to finally be back in your ugly camp uniform.

As for right now, you each were sitting quietly outside the first aid cabin, just waiting for any word from the nurse that it would be alright for you to go in and see him again. You knew he needed rest, you just didn’t expect him to nap for this long.

“You think he’s just not able to talk or something?” Jeff asked no one in particular.

“Maybe?” You said back, “He could still be in shock from the whole thing.”

“From over 5 hours ago?” Grant chimed in.

“I don’t know… I just hope he’s alright.”

You fidgeted with the ends of your shorts, just needing to keep yourself occupied while you waited for the nurse to tell you he was talking again. It’s what you were all waiting for. And it was like agony to not know how Eddie was.

You never would’ve considered you to be close with one another, you weren’t necessarily friends per se, you usually saw him with his group of campers like all the other counselors and you showed him the same kindness you show to everyone else. You’d heard of his reputation from a few of the other girls, but he didn’t seem anything like how others would describe him.

Eddie and his friends were just normal teenagers. They were great with the kids, they goofed off on their off days, they did all the same things that every other teenager did and you could see through that tough exterior that they were all just big kids too. And you admired that about them.

As soon as you heard the door creak open, your heads shot up, seeing the nurse peering out from it,

“He’s feeling a bit better, you can come in and see him if you like.”

Without any hesitation, the four of you stood up from your chairs and rushed to get in to see him, and though Eddie was definitely looking better, he was definitely still a little shaken up from the incident. The boys huddled at the sides of the little bed Eddie was laying on and you took the empty chair next to the bed, looking down at him with a little smile, but you could see that his eyes were still slightly shut.

“Hey man, how you feeling?” Grant asked.

“A little sore in the chest, and it hurts a little to talk and breathe but the nurse said that i should be fine in a day or two.” Eddie shrugged, giving you all a slight smile to show that he was alright.

It was a small gesture, but it definitely made you all feel better about his condition.

“Are they gonna send you home?” Gareth asked.

“They said it was all up to me. The nurse said i wasn’t out long enough to cause any brain damage, and i don’t feel like there’s any damage up there, so i’m going to stick around.”

“Did they call Wayne and tell him what happened?” Jeff chimed in.

“Yeah, they called him as soon as an ambulance got here. The paramedics talked to him on the phone for a bit to explain it all, and i’d prefer them explain it to him rather than me telling him about it, he’d kill me…”

You looked over and saw the boys snickering at the end of the bed, and you furrowed your brows in confusion, knowing that you were clearly missing some piece of this puzzle.

“What do you mean?” You asked him, and as he turned to you, you could see his face go white.

“We’ll give you some space and let you talk it out.” Gareth said, him and the other two slowly making their way out of the first aid cabin, but you could see Eddie making eyes at them just begging to stay.

You looked to him as soon as the door closed,

“Why were they laughing? What happened that i don’t know about?”

Eddie was silent, and his gaze moved from yours to down into his lap, a look of shame on his face followed it.

“Eddie, you could’ve died, this is serious. What happened?”

He groaned to himself, knowing that he had to tell you at some point. And he’d rather have him tell you than one of the guys.

“You have to promise you won’t be mad…”

A little smile came to your lips hearing the familiar line said to you by so many campers after sneaking a bucket of frogs into their cabin or trying to sneak off to the lake for a swim,

“I won’t promise you anything, but if you tell me the truth i won’t be as mad. Depending on what it is you did.”

Eddie took a deep breath, his hands wiping over his face to knock him back into reality.

“Ok, um…” You could hear his voice trembling, and carefully reached out to hold his hand as it lay back at his side.

“Just tell me Eddie, please.”

He looked up into your eyes, and though he was terrified to tell you the truth, he knew he needed to.

“I like you (y/n). i like you a lot… And i had this stupid plan where i thought it would be a good idea to pretend to drown so you could save me and i’d get the chance to kiss you. It was the dumbest thing i could think of and i didn’t think it could go wrong but… I didn’t think of how scary it would be if something did go wrong.”

Your eyes widened, but no words could come to mind for describing how you felt. You sat back in the chair and your hand slowly slipped from his as you stared at the wall in front of you, and you could tell that your reaction wasn’t one he was expecting, but it wasn’t one you were expecting either.

He had the best intentions, you knew that for a fact, but the fact that he decided to do something as idiotic as pretending to drown just for a little bit of affection from you took you back. You weren’t angry, you were upset, but angry wasn’t the word for it. But it did hurt your feelings that he felt his best course of action was to pull a stunt like this just to get something as small as a kiss from you.

“You know…” You started, your eyes slowly moving to look down at your hands in your lap, “I think that’s the dumbest thing any guy has ever done to get my attention.”

Eddie pursed his lips and looked down in shame.

“But, i will say,” You sighed and looked up to him with a small, reassuring smile, “i don’t think you meant for it to go this way. I know you had good intentions Eddie, but it was a stupid idea, what made you think you had to do something like pretend to drown to get my attention?”

Eddie shrugged, eyes still down in his lap, unsure of what to say.

Scratch that.

He knew exactly what to say. He just didn’t want to make it any worse for himself. The one thing he wouldn’t want to do was end the day with not only a near death experience, but with you hating him too.

“I don’t know… And i’m sorry. I think it was just my boy brain convincing me that in order to grab people’s attention i have to pull these idiotic stunts, without thinking about what could go wrong… I’m sorry for putting you through that, and i understand if you hate me, but i do like you (y/n). I think the rejection scared me so much i put everything else in the back of my mind just to be able to talk to you without being scared to…”

His boy brain was definitely to blame for this.

And it was unfortunate that you wanted so badly to be mad at him, you would’ve been just as angry had anyone else pulled a stunt like this, but you just couldn’t find that anger.

Something inside you was trying so hard to bring up that anger, but seeing how guilty he felt somehow pushed it back down.

His apologetic puppy dog eyes, his pursed lips keeping him from saying anything else to keep his position from getting any worse, the boy nearly died and yet he was still profusely apologizing for what he did. His guilt somehow made it better.

But you couldn’t stand to see him so shaken up and not offer him any kind of comfort.

You slowly leaned forward, one arm wrapping around his shoulders as the other draped over his chest, your head resting on top of his in a soft embrace. His hands carefully moved up from his lap, gently holding onto the arm over his chest. You couldn’t see his face, but you could tell there was a smile tugging at his lips.

“Don’t let this hug fool you, i’m still angry at you.” You loosened your arms around him, lifting your head and carefully looking down to him.

“I know.” Eddie said as he looked up to you, “You have every right to be.”

You smiled down to him, reassuring him that though you were angry now, there was definitely going to be an opportunity for him to make it up to you.

“I’m just glad you’re ok.” You slowly leaned your head down, placing a gentle kiss onto his forehead. You could’ve sworn you felt him tense up as soon as your lips touched him.

It was quiet for a moment between both of you, but it was a comfortable silence. Eddie wanted to say something, anything, but he felt that for now he would enjoy the silence with you.

He could ruin your moment with his big mouth another time.

You both heard a gentle knock on the door to the little room you were in, and you both looked up to it to see the boys once more.

“Alright if we come in?” Grant asked, peeking his head in through the door.

“Yeah, go right ahead.” You said with a smile, slowly standing from the chair you were sitting in and straightening out the little gym shorts you had on, “I was going to head out and check on my kids, see how they’re doing after all that.”

The boys made their way back into the room, and you could see a few snacks hidden in their hands and some cans of pop from the vending machines hidden not all that well in their pockets. And you couldn’t tell which one of them it was, but you could definitely recognize the smell of weed on one of them as they walked past. You smiled to yourself. Eddie definitely needed something to help calm his nerves after that, and weed sounded like the perfect remedy.

“I’ll see you guys later. I hope you feel better soon Eddie.” You smiled to them and gave them a polite wave goodbye, shutting the door behind you. Though you could hear them talking as soon as you heard the door click.

You couldn’t exactly make out who was saying what but you could definitely hear them talking about you. And you figured it the perfect moment to finally make the situation about you.

You peeked your head in through the door and the boys all turned to you,

“And Eddie? If you wanted to kiss me so badly, you could’ve just asked.”

You gave him one last smile and figured it was right time for his friends to see him red faced.

You were certain that for the rest of the summer, the two of you would be the talk of camp. But it didn’t bother you much.

What’s so bad about having a rumor about yourself and a hot guy?

You were just hoping he wouldn’t pull anymore dumb stunts to get your attention. All he needed was to be himself.

It’s the only thing you’ve ever wanted.

(this was written for my summer camp AU event, if you’d like to request a fic or HCs for it please let me know! 🖤)

[veenus777]

◜Dadbur Headcanons◞

┊ ᝰ﹕Fluff, SFW, mention of divorce

┊ ᝰ﹕Part Two of Dadbur, send me suggestions and asks for the next ones <3

♧ ok, imagine a mini wilbur with curly hair and a snub nose, well that's your son.

♤ At first Will would be absolutely terrified, he didn't have the best parents in the world so he was afraid of being the same for his son.

♧ This man tries so hard! he didn't want to fall into that stereotype where only mothers really take care of their children, so he'll be there to change their diapers and give them bottles, waking up in the middle of the night to get them back to sleep. He knows how stressful and tiring this is for you, so he does everything in his power to make it easier.

♤ Lullabies but not children's ones, he would play Bowie like Starman and Space Oddity, Beutiful boy would definitely be in the repertoire and he would change the gender if it was a girl.

♧ He would spoil his son a lot, with clothes and toys, and he often buys things that are definitely not for his son's age but always ends up saying "he will use them in the future".

♤ He wouldn't post photos of his child, just one or two that don't show his face, he doesn't like this type of exposure on the Internet, especially with his son.

♧ When the child grew up and had some kind of interest in appearing, he would agree, but nothing excessive, just a few appearances on streams or things like that.

♤ As soon as he reaches a certain age, Will would like him to be at his shows even if it's with ear protection headphones.

♧ If he won a prize he would promptly dedicate it to you and your son.

♤ Possibly the baby would appear in some Lovejoy music videos (when he was old enough).

♧ Would you create a family day that happens every week, where you both take time off from work just to spend time with your child outdoors having picnics, trips to the beach, going to amusement parks and things like that.

♤ You would also have a game night, with a good pizza and board games or video games, sometimes you also invite your friends to participate.

♧ Another family tradition is to always have dinner together and talk about your day and plans for the next one, you also like to cook dinner together it's always a lot of fun.

♤ You also always travel on vacation to different countries, you want your child to get to know different cultures and experiences.

♧ Trips to Disney with Uncle Tommy are definitely your child's favorite.

♤ Once a week Phil and Krist babysit for a romantic parental date.

♧ Will would definitely cry on the first day of school, I see this man coming home and checking his watch every 5 minutes to see what time he will have his son back.

♤ As a first-time father he would also despair at any slightest sign that his child is falling ill.

♧ I can easily see Will, Tommy and Charlie dressed up like princesses and made up for tea time, and they would absolutely love that.

♤ He goes to put the baby to sleep and ends up sleeping in his place>>>>

♧ I think during pregnancy with his first child he would be extremely nervous but after that he would definitely want more children.

♤ I think he would like two or three, nothing too big but not small.

♧ He would be in favor of positive and non-aggressive parenting with his children, he would also be a great supporter of all of his children's choices.

♤ He would also be in favor of teaching his children to be independent with things like handling money, knowing how to cook, having responsibilities and things like that.

♧ When he was on tour with Lovejoy I feel like they would have two options, the first is that if your children are young and not studying yet he would try to convince you to go along with him, but if the children are not so young anymore he you would just feel really bad about leaving them and wonder if you are being a bad father.

♤ In the second option he would make a point of calling all the time, at least two calls a day, he would also buy gifts and things from every country or city he visited, collectibles like postcards or key chains.

♧ He would have lots of photos of his children, some funny ones with just them sleeping, and his lock screen would be a photo of his loved one next to his children.

♤ Even if you separated he would be a good father, he would try to solve all your problems so that it doesn't affect the children and they have a good co-parenting.

.˚｡  💋 .˚｡ 💌

[sucka4pain]

𝐒𝐄𝐗 𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐘 𝐅𝐄𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 𝐃𝐈𝐄~♡︎

plug fwb! Rintaro Suna x Fem! reader

tw: smoking, marijuana usage, sexual tension, cowgirl, marking, high sex, cursing, Suna feels nothing for reader, praising, aftercare, mentions of readers family problems & attachment issues, cheating, and slightly dark.

readers skin tone and body type is not mentioned! this is a fic for all the girlies no matter how you look! also i’m using Suna’s timeskip so no sexualizing minors!

a/n: it’s late at night and i wanted to post smth since i haven’t posted in so long. i decided to bring back Haikyuu since i missed it sm, enjoy lovelies!🎀

It was one of the nights again, walking in the chilly weather as Y/n made it to a familiar house and went to a specific window. The curtains of the window were black but you can see purple light shining through from the little crack.

The latter that was in the bushes underneath the window was a good idea to have. She picked up the latter, placing it under the window and climbed up to the window. Her knuckles softly knocked three times to signal that its her.

She pulled away and opened the window was Suna. He was in a tank top with some basketball shorts, the strong aroma of weed hit Y/n’s nostrils making her hum. His red fox eyes looked down at her as the blunt that hung out from his mouth was placed perfectly between his teeth.

His veiny hand grabbed her arm and pulled her into his room. The purple led lights looked brighter yet dark, his Tv played a random playlist he has dedicated for moments like these. At the moment she arrived, Church by Chase Atlantic started to play.

Y/n took the blunt from Suna’s mouth and placed it in her own, taking a seat on his bed as she took a long drag from it. Suna sat down next to her manspreading, she took this opportunity and blew the smoke into his lips as their eyes locked in on each other.

There was always tension between the two, no matter what it’s like they were addicted to each other. Suna started to pick up on Y/n’s small habits whenever they smoked together. Whenever she had family problems going on or her parents fighting, her hits on the blunt were longer and she would hold it in for a while before exhaling it out in a big puff.

“Let me guess.” Suna spoke up, the rasp of his voice could send chills down anyone’s spine. Y/n glanced over at him as she passed him back his blunt and leaned back against the soft surface of his bed.

“They’re fighting again?” He asked looking down at her as he took a hit from his blunt, she nodded at his question. He grew up with Y/n, so he practically knew about her and her family probably more than Y/n herself. All of the time, she leaves at night to go over Suna’s house because they never seem to care what she does during the dark hours.

The led lights fade from purple to a blue as more songs from the playlist on his Tv began playing. They spent the next few minutes in silence, passing around the blunt to each other as music played that fit the atmosphere perfectly.

“So, how’s it going with you and Rika?” Y/n asked as she exhaled smoke and put out the finished blunt. Their eyes getting redder by the second from the string weed. Suna was basically her plug, always hooking her up with good stuff whenever she wanted.

He scoffed and ran his ringed covered fingers through his hair. “Don’t bring that skank up right now, I already gotta deal with her in the daylight.” The tone in his voice was full of despair.

A small laugh left her lips, her vision getting slightly watery from the weed. “But, don’t you think it’s wrong that me and you fuck even though you are in a relationship?” She asked, she wasn’t dumb she knew it’s wrong but seeing how Suna is with Rika makes her question if he really does love his girlfriend. Maybe it’s just an act to entertain the outside world from how they really are.

“She thinks i’m stupid to not know, and no it’s not wrong because she’s doing the same thing.” He scoffed.

This made Y/n raise a brow. “Seriously?”

Suna nods his head and shifts his body into a laying position with his hands behind his head as his shoulders laid back against the headboard.

“Her dad is paying me to be with her, and also because he wants to know what she does.” He shrugged off.

“Wow, you’re just some secret spy for her dad?” She chuckled.

“Basically, but they’re crazy rich so i’m willing to do anything for some bread.” His eyes locked onto hers as she laid down next to him and her head on his chest.

His hand found it’s way into her hair, being careful to not get any strands caught in his rings. She hums at the feeling of his fingers scratching and massaging her scalp and lifted up her head to look up at him.

Their eyes locked in yet again, they leaned into each other until their lips touched. Tasting the weed from each other and combined with Y/n’s chapstick made it more enjoyable. Suna’s hands sneak down to her waist. making her body move on its own. Seconds later, she was on top of him, legs straddling his hips as their tongues swirled around each other.

Panting and breathless when they pulled away as a string of saliva connected to their tongues.

“Be a good girl and ride me, yea?” He said not even trying to make it sound like he was asking.

Her stomach twists as she felt a wet spot already forming on her panties just by his words. She could already feel how hard he was underneath his shorts. her fingers pulled them down along with his black boxers which had a small white leaking stain of precum.

Once the boxers were off, his cock sprung up slapping against his tank top which he quickly pulled off. Before she could wrap her hand around his hard cock, his hand grabbed her wrist.

“Not fair that im the only one here without clothes on.” He smirked as his other hand swiftly pulled off her hoodie.

His brows slightly rose up. “No bra? You seem to have learned from our previous nights.” A cocky smile on his lips as he tugged at her pants, signaling her to pull them down.

She obeyed, pulling them off along with her panties. Just by looking at her cunt, he knew she was soaked. His hand wrapped around her throat and pulled her down to his level, deeply kissing her before pulling away and harshly sucking at her neck making her whimper.

The way he left dark marks on her and his fangs slightly grazing against her skin gets her excited. His mouth moved down to her collarbone and chest, leaving the same marks before looking up at her and placing his hands on her waist.

“Cmon baby, you know what to do. Don’t make me remind you.” His husky voice grumped out from his throat.

As much as she wanted to taunt him, with all the shit she had to deal with she just wanted to have him inside her. Which is why she can’t wait until night time comes.

Her hand wrapped around his hard cock, giving it a few strokes causing Suna to softly groan. Finally, she placed the leaking tip against her soaked lips, slowking sinking down on him making her whimper from how he was stretching her out. It didn’t matter how many times they have sex, he’ll always manage to make her feel like a virgin being stretched out for the first times.

She felt full as his cock was fully inside her, she didn’t waste time as her hips started to move. The way his cock kissed her cervix making her eyes roll back with moans spilling out of her mouth. Suna threw his head back at the way her walls clenched down on him.

“That’s it baby, jus’ like that. you know how to please me.~” He moaned as his hands slapped her ass and his hips slightly thrusting up, matching her pace.

“F-fuckk, Suna..you’re s’big~..” She moaned rolling her hips down as she felt a knot form in her stomach from how much he was twitching inside of her.

“You love this big dick, yea?” His voice tainted with awe as he wrapped his hand around her neck, choking her slightly making her eyes roll back.

“M’ gonna cum like this, keep going pretty girl.” He groaned as his other hand trailed down, two fingers rubbing her clit.

“C-cumming~! m’ gonna cum, Suna!~” She moaned as his thrusts became more rough. The feeling of his thrusts and fingers rubbing her clit brought her to cumming, her juices coating his dick and fingers.

“Good girl, good fucking girl..” He praised as his cock twitched on last time before filling her up with his warm seed. He leaned back breathing heavily and pulled Y/n down with him as the blanket kept them warm.

Suna broke the silence after a while. “Wanna smoke another blunt?” He asked but got no answer. He looked at her face and saw her peacefully asleep on him. His eyes rolled in annoyance and got up, gently carrying her to clean her up. Once they were both cleaned up, he put her in a fresh pair of clothes and covered her in his blanket.

He sat down on the floor, lighting up another blunt and continued to stare at her face.

‘When will i start falling for her? i don’t wanna fall for her, she’s got bad attachment issues.’

A mental thought popped up as he continued smoking his blunt.

©𝐬𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐚4𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐧-- 𝐃𝗼 𝐧𝗼𝐭 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞, 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐥, 𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝗺 𝗼𝐫 𝐜𝗼𝐩𝐲 𝗺𝐲 𝐰𝗼𝐫𝐤-- 𝐜𝗼𝗺𝗺𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬, 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐬, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝗼𝐠𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐜𝗼𝗺𝐞𝐝!!

[whateverisbeautiful]

♥️ Ranking Richonne

#24: Family Fun Days (S9E03 & S4E15)

Grimes Family 2.0 has my heart eternally. 🥹 They are the best family to ever grace an apocalypse. And what’s so sweet is during their Family Fun Day in s9 and s4, it truly didn’t even feel like an apocalypse - that’s how much love and joy Rick and Michonne were admirably able to place in their and their kids’ lives. And while the fallen world turned Rick and Michonne into walker-slaying warriors, who they really are to their core are parents. (ours and their kids 😋) So the final Family Fun Day and the first unofficial Family Fun Day are a tie on this list for allowing Richonne to show why they're the greatest parents around...

Starting with the s9 Family Fun Day, one of my favorite parts is when Rick, Michonne, and Judith are walking hand in hand in ASZ. It’s so idyllic and so the type of rewarding happy life these three deserve.

I think back to s5 when Rick and Michonne were outside the gates of ASZ with Carl and baby Judith in the backseat of their car. I love that the leap of faith they took together in coming to this place has now turned into a stable home where they can fully enjoy being family.

I feel like words can’t fully even capture how much I love all this. Their smiles. Michonne cheering Rick on by saying, "come on, daddy." Judith skipping. Rick's countdown. And the way they lift her up and cheer Judith on. Somehow, I never noticed it until this rewatch, but after they lift Judith up, Rick and Michonne say “wow” at the exact same time. Always in sync those two. 🥰

And Rick and Michonne getting to just be parents is the best and so meaningful. After the devastating loss of children, the way Rick and Michonne have risen from those depths of despair and given Judith a beautiful cheerful life is so commendable. And, truly, it speaks to the strength of Rick and Michonne's impact on each other's lives that they can be this healed and happy now.

I’m choked up from just this initial moment and it only gets cuter with each of their activities. It’s clear that this is Judith’s favorite way to spend the day, but make no mistake, this is Rick and Michonne’s favorite way to spend the day too. And I love that Family Fun Days are something they seem to do often and look forward to. (also it's sweet that, throughout the series, we got several indicators that little Judith is a mama's girl 😊)

It was such a joy to see this side of Rick and Michonne, especially knowing we’d only have 2 more eps before Rick’s departure. I love that we got to see Rick just have so much fun as the best girl dad. He deserved to have so many more days like this with his baby girl. 🥲

Also, what I would give to have seen a family fun day that included Rick, Michonne, RJ, Judith, and Carl all together. 😭

The good thing is Rick and Michonne are going to do everything in their power to get home to Judith and RJ, and I have hope TWD's best parents will be able to have plenty more days like this to enjoy with their children whenever the four reunite.

(Side note: Since we're talking Grimes family in this post, can I just say I never understand the complaints about our sweet prince RJ being a regular kid doing regular kid stuff - like ??? To me, it's actually the biggest flex that Rick and Michonne's baby is living a normal life. A whole dang apocalypse hit the earth, and your kid is able to just read comics and ride bikes because, even in the most dangerous possible world, you managed to create some normal (as normal as it can be in that world) stability for your children - What a win. And rather than find him "boring" as a kid under age 10 just living life, I find it heartwarming that RJ Grimes got to be so normal. The mostly peaceful and regular way RJ is living is the very thing Michonne and Rick wanted and fought for. It's the very thing RJ's big brother Carl fought for too. How wonderful that they got what they wanted 🥰👌🏽)

And then the montage includes my absolute favorite visual with the three of them on a picnic blanket all relaxed, with a brief glimpse of Rick handing Michonne a pink flower as Judith seems to notice the way her dad loves her mom. Even in just a .5-second clip of Rick wanting to give Michonne that flower we see yet another example of how Rick so naturally shows love to his wife. 🥰

I love that in s9 especially, Rick was like if y’all don’t know nothing else about me, you’re going to know that I’m head over heels in love with Michonne. And he’s just so good at courting her even in their married era, and I adore how he’s always thinking of how to gift her.

Y’all, everything in this moment (& the deleted picnic scene where Rick expresses wanting more years like this with his wife and kids) gives me so much happiness and peace. Again, it’s so idyllic and tranquil and pretty. I wanted them to live in this moment forever.

The picnic shot is just beauty and I will always cherish it. It makes me think about Carl’s vision in s8, of their family playing hooky. I know Carl would be so proud to see the three of them essentially doing exactly that on this beautiful family fun day. Like this whole montage is truly what Carl wanted most for the three of them. 🥹

To this day, when I see Scott running over while the three are reading, I’m like damn it. 😫 Richonne deserved to have a day to be all about their family and nothing else and Rick and Michonne look like they really do agree with me in the way they both communicate with a wordless look lol.

They don’t want this family time to end, but they know the world is ready to start screaming again. I do like how Rick sees Scott coming but keeps reading tho. Like ‘maybe if we keep reading he’ll just jog past us.’ 😂 

Seeing Rick kiss Judith before joining Michonne and Scott is so sweet and so sad because it’s his final interaction with his daughter before he’s taken away for years. 😭

Rick and Michonne again wordlessly communicate upon learning about that murdered savior, and you can tell they’re both disappointed. And I'm disappointed that Family Fun Day was cut short too, but I also was like, I should've known...

But I adore that this scene, which ends up being Rick and Michonne's last time side by side in the present, does not end on disappointment.

Rick is quiet and looking at Michonne, and then he looks away frustrated and stressed, especially because this new development could jeopardize the unity and safety he and Michonne so badly want to build for their people.

It’s so clear how Michonne feels for him, knowing how much they both wanted to have this day to just be. And then the shot focuses on their hands with Rick’s fist clenched to further illustrate his frustration. 

But Michonne always knows how to offer Rick the exact right uplifting encouragement and so I love that she then takes his hand. The choreo of it is so good with her slowly sliding her hand into his. It’s symbolic for Michonne to be the one who could most help Rick release his fist, thus release the frustration, and hold onto what matters most.

And, of course, Rick is receptive and holds her hand. He can always receive the positivity Michonne instills in him. And so I love that Rick tightly holds her hand and allows that to be the note they can end on together. 

Richonne handholds are always a thing of beauty so I love that their final moment like this ends on that emphasized visual. Even when things fall apart, they’re still in it together. They’re still held together by their love.

Y’all, how do even their hands tell a compelling story? I mean they always have. From exchanging bullets in Clear, to passing mints and holding hands in their canon ep, and this significant final present moment between them. It really does highlight the strength, love, and unity of Richonne's relationship. 

It’s also sweet how Rick and Michonne's official romance began with a handhold, and their final moment ends with one too. And while their journey is about to devastatingly take them on separate paths for years, I really feel like this handhold right here actually never breaks.

In many ways, during their years apart, Rick and Michonne still embarked through life as though their true love was still with them, still holding their hand and supporting them because their love is neverending - as noted in both Rick and Michonne's sentiments during the TWD series finale.

(Side note: There’s this interesting contrast I think about - because with losing Lori, part of what made it so painful on Rick is knowing they never got official closure after they grew distant and their marriage fell apart. But then with “losing” Michonne after he was taken, part of what likely makes it so painful for Rick is that their marriage was in such a great spot. Rick and Michonne were so beyond close, happy together, and hopeful for their future just before Rick was taken away. And that’s a unique pain to just be abruptly plucked from the woman you were so longing to spend the rest of your life with. Where the Lori loss featured an element of mourning a clear closed door, the Michonne “loss” is an element of mourning all the doors he hoped he'd open with her. And I’m really curious to see how Rick has been dealing with that type of pain while away in TOWL)

This whole sequence of events in 9.03 is the definition of precious. And the song in the background pairs so nicely with this heavenly time. I love Grimes Family 2.0, and this was like a beautiful love letter to them.

It was a lovely reward for Rick and Michonne after all they've been through in this series. And I just appreciate how much joy was depicted in every moment Rick got with his girls in season 9. (their opening moment in the s9 premiere also gets an honorable mention cuz I absolutely adore it)

So I called this Family Fun Days plural because before Rick and Michonne so adorably had their day as mommy and daddy with Judith, they had another version of a family fun day out in the woods with Carl. And this moment, along with the s9 montage, are my all-time favorite Grimes Family 2.0 scenes.

This one in season 4 is so meaningful because during their s9 family fun day in ASZ they were enjoying merriment in the safety of their community - but here the golden trio of Rick, Michonne, and Carl are traveling while unsure of where they’ll get their next meal or where they’ll lay their head for the night…and yet they smile. 🥹 The levity found in this moment is so important and heartwarming to see. 

I love that Michonne was so effortlessly able to be a best friend to Carl and helped him have fun even in an apocalypse. I adore the opening of the scene as Rick talks about resources running low and turns around to see Michonne and Carl adorably preoccupied with their train track competition.

Rick turning around to see Michonne and Carl reminded me of the s9 premiere when the first thing we see of Rick is him opening the doors to watch Michonne and Judith.

I know Michonne’s bond with Carl and Judith means the absolute world to Rick. And I can only imagine how moved Rick would (and will) be to see her bond with their adorable son RJ too. 😭

(Again, I'll never get over the fact that Michonne really carried Rick's child. How extremely beautiful. 🥹And soon Rick is going to finally know all about the son he made with the love of his life. Won't He Do It! 🥳)

I always appreciate that Rick walks over to Michonne and Carl, letting them have the moment a little longer, and the way Michonne playfully tries to win their competition. Carl sharing the Big Cat because "we always share" is also just so sweet.

And, of course, you know I love the way that man Rick is grinning while watching and appreciating this wholesome family moment. 🥰The way he keeps sneaking glances at Michonne as he smiles - I forever stand by the fact that Rick has fallen in love with Michonne by this point.💯

Even despite their circumstances, the three seemed so happy in this moment cuz they’re together the way it was meant to be. And I love that Michonne and Rick both valued giving Carl a good childhood against all odds.

In Carl’s devastating final episode "Honor" he tells Michonne "Don't carry this - not this part," and I always like to think that this moment on the tracks is one of the parts of their journey Carl hopes Michonne holds onto instead. Cuz it was such a beautiful happy moment that cemented the three as a family.

And, clearly, she and Rick did choose to carry the good parts with Carl and even pass it on to Judith as they and their daughter so presently enjoyed a day of fun and games seasons later, where for a few hours they didn't have to be community leaders or fierce fighters. Instead, Rick and Michonne just got to be what they so cherished being - mom and dad. Grimes family forever. 🤍

[eclipse-rain]

Fwel Tsaheylu (Broken Bond)

Reader is part of the Sully family

Lo'ak's younger twin and eldest daughter

This is my first post and first time writing one of these so please be nice ♡

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Masterlist~

The light of the stars shone down onto pandora far below them. The bioluminecent plants glowed many diffrent colors in the darkness of eclipse. The leaves shiffted, moving lightly with the small wind that blew through them. It blew upwind, a crucial piece of knowledge for any hunter to know. Couldn't have your hunt being able to smell you before you caught it. Any movement out of place would lose you your catch. Stay still, stay quiet, make as little movement as possible when you notch your bow in your arrow. Place the bow, pull back, make sure your in the right position, exhale, keep an eye on your target, aim, release. And try not to miss.

Like i just did.

Startled, the animal quickly ran away from the arrow that shot past it.

"That was so off" i whispered to myself, i was glad none of my siblings were around to make fun of me for missing the most simple shot. I was too caught up in my own thoughts. I came out to hunt at night to clear my head when i couldnt sleep and ended up being caught up enough in my own thoughts that i didnt even hit it at all.

It had become some what of a normality for me at this stage, the sneaking out of the village, sneaking out of my hammock where i would sleep near my family at night. At least i had my own hammock when i used to have to sleep with my parents and siblings. Sometimes i needed more time to myself, to sort through my thoughts without interruption and i couldnt do that while lying still as my family slept around me. My mind was far too active, my guard was still up, my tail still forced to silence at my side instead of being able to freely swish back and forth in annoyance or anger or any other emotion it portrayed that i couldnt show to my family without being questioned a hundred diffrent ways of what was wrong.

They ment well, i know they did but that didnt make it any less hard when they looked at you with pity, with anticipation or knowing. When they looked at you like they could see through your lies and into your soul. See through the barrier you put around yourself, that you used to keep people at a safe distance in hopes that that way it would hurt less if you let them down.

It would hurt less if they never had expectations for you at all in the first place but it was impossible for that to be the case with my family. Even if it wasnt the type of expectation that my eldest brother had to mold himself into or even the expectations that my second brother had tried to fit himself to while following in the footsteps of our eldest brother.

No,no. The expectations set out for me were probably the simplest and yet the most impossible thing for me to do. But i guess thats how everyones problems are. They may not seem like all that big of a deal to another person, mabey that person could even find an easy way through that problem. But your problem is a problem because it is tailored to fit you and only you exactly and that creates the feeling of isolation of lonleyness and despair.

Because then you feel like no one else would be able to understand, no one else would be able to help you through the problem so in the end you have to find the correct path on your own. Even if that means you feel those emotions and many more while you try to claw your way back out of that dark pit and back to the light. The problem with this is that while some can accomplish such a feat, many cannot. Even faced with that realisation many still chose to try, because thats all you can do until you can try no more.

"Ah..."

"I did it again..."

I mentally hit myself for zoning out once again. I figured that with my latest failure it was time to head back. I ran to retrieve my arrow from where it had landed a few meters away. It was in a very small clearing surrounded by trees with just a patch of grass in the center. A sudden memory came flooding back to me and i got sucked into my thoughts once more.

The memory of laughter, of comfort and happiness a memory i cherished and relished in but also with the passing years felt now somewhat bitter. We used to lie in this place, it was the only clearing in the forest where you could see the stars without them being covered by the thick foliage of the canopy of trees up above. Kiri and i used to come here almost every eclipse just before bedtime . We would lie in the grass and look up at the stars, take in their magnificence. Kiri would tell me about how she could feel the nature all around her, feel the life of the forest.

I slowly lowered myself down to the ground and onto my back to relish in the memory, the stars shone down onto the forest far below. And like it always does that memory that i cherish, the bit i can relish in ends and the bitterness comes creeping in. I loved spending that time with Kiri, we were closer to each other than to our older brothers when we were kids since she was the only other girl my age in the family. But the way she could feel the forest, feel it around her, feel its heartbeat and feel eywa, it couldnt help but make me feel like i was diffrent. It made me feel like an out cast, like an alien...like a human. I thought it was unfair and i'll admit i was even somewhat jealous of her connection to eywa. I still am. Even though i know thats something she struggles with and for that i cannot help but hate myself for being such a bad sister and bad person. Mabey i am more human than id like to admit, i heard theyre selfish and only think about themselves.

See i had and still have the complete oposite problem to Kiri. While she feels a great connection to eywa beyond even the normal na'vi peoples understanding, i barely feel a connection to eywa at all. This was something i learned gradually as i grew up, like when Kiri would talk about what she felt or when my parents, siblings and the other na'vi people could talk about what they felt regarding eywa so easily.

As i grew i gradually learned how i was diffrent from the others in my village, even in my own family. Nevermind having Kiris connecrion to eywa, i barely had the connection to be one of the people. Of course since i found this all out as i grew older and became more aware of what that would mean for me, i took precautions, you could say. I reclined back into myself and put up a wall.

And when my parents started to give me those looks of pity, anticipaton or knowing, like they could see into my soul, see that something was bothering me, that something was wrong. I learned to calm the swishing of my angered tail, stiffen the annoyed twitches of my ears, the anxious movements my body made. So that even they would not be able to see past my barrier and into my heart. So that they would not question as to why i was suddenly angry or annoyed or anxious. So that they would not find out the truth, so that they would never think of me as one of those demons, as my mother called them. One of the humans.

Instead of letting the bitterness envelop my heart completely i pulled myself back to reality and back to the stars. The one piece of this world that i truly do feel connected to. That i feel myself always being pulled towards instead of the forest like everyone else. Mabey thats why even after i stopped coming out at eclipse with Kiri to star gaze, hoping to completely close that part of myself off, i still could not help, even now, for my gaze to always seemingly be drawn upwards, towards the stars. Towards the sky.

My heart gradually recovered as it always does and as i always expect it to in the future. But that didnt last long. I brought myself up to rest on my arms so i could get a better look at what i was seeing. As if i couldnt believe my eyes, i stared dumbfounded at what i saw before me. A star that was shinning brighter than all the others.

No, a new star.

And all the na'vi people, even me, know that a new star can only mean one thing.

"Humans...!"

...

A new star ment a new war.

A war my parents hoped would never come. With their hopes dashed, preparations were made. A hunting party. A war party. With our parents leading it. The plan was to ambush a train that was transporting human suplies. My older brothers and i were also going along with them to observe from up above and keep look out.

Its not like we never had drills for the possibility of the humans returning. We were trained to hunt and to fight so that it was burned into our heads and bodies until it had become a reflex. We trained and trained until we went through our own right of passage to earn our place as a hunter and to earn our own ikran which the four of us had already gone through.

My eldest brother Neteyam was taught by our father. He strived to perfect his hunting skills and became a great hunter to the point that he could rival our parents in the near future.

My second brother and older twin Lo'ak followed in the footsteps of our older brother and had our father teach him how to use a bow and hunt. Although his desire to learn faded as quickly as it came in his finding that he was not as great as Neteyam in that area.

Kiri who was only a small bit younger than Lo'ak and i never wanted to become a hunter and join the hunting party and decided to remain at home and become a healer instead. She was taught by our grandmother, our Mothers mother and the former tsahik of our clan, Mo'at. With Grandmother as her mentor, for guidance, Kiri was steadily on her way to becoming a great healer.

Tuk followed lightly in the foot steps of each of us, observing, while trying to figure out what path she would take in the future.

I however always wanted to become a hunter like my older brothers who i admired since i was a kid. I was also the only one in the family who was taught to hunt by our mother. I guess it had something to do with me being the first born girl in the family. But even if i was not a natural at hunting or using a bow like Neteyam, i would not give up as easily as Lo'ak. My flame to learn would not burn out as quickly and was only stoked, sparking a bigger fire under my small wings.

I would practice and practice in secret until my fingers bled and scabbed and calloused over. So that i could make my mother proud when i was the only child she taught in the family. So that even if i wasnt the best, at least i wasnt the worst. So that i was at least average, i was normal. So that i could blend in, so that i didnt look like an outcast or an alien or a human like my mother and all the other Na'vi people hated.

We flew high in the air on our ikrans, weaving in and out of mountain tops and cliffs. Everyone was armed with weapons and donned in war paint. Our parents lead the attack up at the forefront. My father was armed with a gun, my mother with her fathers bow. They hollared and shouted to boost the moral of the others in the party.

My older brothers and i were higher up and more at the back of the party since we were only there to observe and not get in the way.

We came upon an elivated train track and the train carrying the suplies soon came into view at a fast speed. It was flanked with two aircrafts on either side, probably to protect it in case of an attack like what was about to unfold i thought. My father signaled to the war party on the ground and soon after the track right in front of the train exploded. The train was sent flying and broke into multiple sections, turning over in mid air. It exploded with parts flying in every direction.

The war party on the ground cheered in triumph and my father signaled for our party to move in. The three of us circled around the scene from above and i watched as my father took out one of the aircrafts with his gun while my mother took out the other with her bow and arrow. She cried a war call in triumph while raising her arms, bow still in hand, above her head.

The three of us watched as the rest of the people flocked to the wreckage of the train to raid and distribute the gun supplies of the humans. My father stood to the side, still armed, watching over the situation, urging people not to slow their movements.

And suddenly my twin brother had a bright idea.

"Bro, we have got to get down there!" Lo'ak exclaimed

"No way dad would skin us!" Neteyam countered

"Come on dont be a woose" Lo'ak said calmly while veering down towards the wreckage

"Lo'ak get back here you...!" Neteyam called after him before shouting in annoyance

'I bet he was going to say skwang' i thought to myself observing the exchange from the other side of Neteyam.

"Stay here, dont follow us, just do what dad said" he shouted over to me

I didnt get a chance to reply before he dived after Lo'ak.

I was going to do what dad said even with out Neteyam telling me to. I really hate when he orders me around. I know he means well but does he really think id do something dumb in this situation. Im not trying to get myself killed! Although the same cant be said for my twin so i guess i see where he's coming from at least.

I watched them land on the ground while continuing to circle over head and farther forward toward the cliff side. That was until my attention was shifted to my ikran who started to act weird. It was suddenly swaying left and right instead of straight ahead like i was telling it to.

"Steady girl. Woah! Steady!" I called out to it

I started to panic and began to lose control of my ikran even more. We suddenly started to lose momentum and veered towards the ground. I knew it would be bad if i didnt do something now and i would not come out unscathed if i fell from this height all the way down to the ground.

With what control i had left over my ikran i veered it towards the cliff side. It lurched forward and slammed us against the side of the cliff before latching onto it with its talons. I quickly got over the momentary shock of how hard we slammed into the cliff so i could find out what was wrong with my ikran. I knew what danger i was in if i was not able to fly and more human reinforcements came.

I looked my ikran over as best i could. Did it get hit by something and i just didnt know? Was it injured? If not then what was wrong with it? I could not see anything wrong with it externally. Was it something i did? I was about to focus on our tsahaylu to feel what was wrong with my ikran when i heard a call and more shouts from the party down below.

Seeing them, some of them had scared faces while pointing their guns to the sky and others ran in the opposite directions than the guns were pointing. I turned to look back at the gap between the cliff where i was latched onto and the opposite cliff. I was faced with a human aircraft flying into the clearing not far away from where i was placed on the cliff.

"Great Mother" i said under my breath in shock

I heard my father order a retreat, the war party followed the command and started to fall back. Panic arose in me once again, i didnt know if i could properly fly again to get myself away from the danger. I mentally cursed and thought about contacting my father through the communication device around my throat. I hesitated and cringed back into myself as i knew i would be questioned a million diffrent ways as to what i was doing and why i couldnt fly by both of my parents if i let them know about this.

Both my parents also had other priorities as clan leaders and the leaders of this party. I couldnt just have one of them come rescue me because i suddenly couldnt fly my ikran even though it wasnt injured at all, so there was technically nothing wrong with it. I would be made fun of relentelessly by my siblings as well since this was one of the most basic things to do as a hunter and i had already gone through the right of passage of choosing and getting my own ikran. So why would i be having problems now?

Of course i was pretty sure i knew the answer to this but they didnt have to know.

I opted for the quickest course of action since even if i told my father what was happening he would not be able to get to me quick enough when i was all the way at the top of a cliff. And would most likely just tell me to fly away to a safe place, so i planned to do exactly that. I had to get myself out of the way and out of any possibility of danger on my own.

So that i would not hinder my parents or the war party. I didnt know if i could fly properly again but i had to at least try because thats all i really could do in this situation. It was either that or get spotted by the aircraft and get blown to smithereens. And my problems werent bad enough right now for me to want that to happen so i opted to try to fly the f*ck away instead.

This was all decided in a matter of seconds. Afterall flying with your ikran was all about your tsaheylu, your connection to them on a deeper level. No connection, no flying. So thats what i focused on. I first focused on trying to feel what was wrong with my ikran like i was trying to do earlier before the reinforcement airship arrived.

Of course, i was right when i figured i probably knew what was wrong because this wasnt the first time something like this happened.

Although it was the first time it happened in a place where other people and even my family members could see and of course it also had to be when we were all in a dangerous situation.

I mentally cursed and prayed to eywa to be able to keep my tsaheylu connection a little longer. It was fading again, my tsaheylu connection, like it does sometimes randomly and without warning. I still dont know why this happens and it barely ever happened before but in the last few years it has become more frequent.

Its not just my connection to my ikran but the same thing has happened before with our steeds and my connection to eywa has never been that strong in the first place. Its gotten worse as I've grown older but how could i tell anyone about it? I mean really how could i!

I dont have any human attributes like my twin or my adoptive sister, like having four fingers instead of three or having eyebrows when normal na'vi people dont. But iv seen how it affects my siblings. I hear the infrequent murmurs about them being more human than na'vi compared to Neteyam, Tuk and I. I dont think it bothers Kiri all that much but i know its something that Lo'ak struggles with even if he doesnt want to admit it.

But theyre all wrong, the on lookers, the people who murmur those things. Even if thats how they look in apperance, they have never shown any signs of being anything other than true Na'vi people. They have never acted in any way that is unlike the na'vi because its normal for them to act just like the people. While i on the other hand have the exact opposite problem.

I may look like the na'vi people but i could not feel any diffrent on the inside even if i dont want to admit it. I know deep down that i am diffrent, i guess i am like Lo'ak in that sense. We are twins after all, it would be wierd if there werent one or two things about us that were alike. I remember father once said to us when we were kids that twins run in the family, his side of the family, and that he and his twin brother were not that alike either.

I know how much the people and especially my own mother hate humans. And i dont blame them, how could i! Look at what they've done, not even once but now twice. They're demons. Just like my mother said.

And with that thought i tried to force my concentration to my tsaheylu, to my bond with my ikran and through that connection i told my ikran to fly. To fly away, away from the danger, away from the clearing, from the war zone.

I tried, i really tried but it didnt work, like i had expected it not to deep down. Instead now my ikran seemed to be panicking, scared by the loud explosions and cries from below and without instruction or comfort from our tsaheylu.

It was thrashing around as it became increasingly agitated and my panic spiked once more. I froze not knowing what to do, the sounds of the comotion still rang out far below me. My ikran was scaling the side of the cliff going up a bit and then back down, trying to figure out which way to go on its own.

Our tsaheylu was still not working and suddenly my ikran let go of the side of the cliff and took flight of its own accord. It soared up higher in the air and then circled back down closer to the ground and the fight. All the while i was desperately disconnecting and reconnecting the bond to my ikran hoping against hope that it might actually work one of the times it reconnected.

Everyone was occupied enough with the attacks from the new aircraft that they didnt see my not being able to fly my ikran properly which i was somewhat relieved about. But of course my relief didnt last long. As my tsaheylu was disconnected and i was once again trying to reconnect our bond, i was not holding onto my ikran with my hands.

I had only been holding onto it with my legs while trying to form tsaheylu so when one of the na'vi people took down the aircraft and it fell to the groud creating the biggest explosion yet, my ikran flung me right off its back in fright. Thankfully we were lower to the ground than before so i at least wouldnt die on impact.

I vaguely saw my ikrans retreating form fly higher into the sky and away from the explosion seeming to have finally made up its mind to get the f*ck out of here.

'Wow thats a great idea. I wish you would have thought of that before when i was still on your back!' I thought to myself annoyed

I averted my attention to the bigger problem i was now facing as i was free falling to the ground. I reached out to try and grab a piece of the wreckage of one of the train sections as i was falling. I successfully did so, slicing deep gashes into both palms of my hands in the process but lessening the impact of when i hit the ground.

I layed still for a while after, trying to get over the shock of my fall.

But i knew i could not waste anymore time. I remembered back to something my father made sure to always remind me of. So that it would be ingrained into my mind. So that if i chose to follow in his and my mothers footsteps and become a hunter in the future like my brothers would, even when i was in crisis i would not forget his words.

'You cant hesitate! Because a split second is all it can take to mean the diffrence between life and death. Weather you live or die.'

When i was a kid i thought dad had learned that when he became Toruk Macto and fought in the war against the humans but father said it was something he learned when he was a marine. A warrior of Earth. The humans planet. The place he came from and was born and raised.

And so with that in mind i blocked out the slight ringing in my ears and the streaks of white fading in and out of my vision. I heaved myself into a sitting position before pushing myself to my feet. Ignoring the sting in my bloodied palms and my bruised back. My adrenalin kicking in and putting my body in survival mode.

"I have to try and find cover" i whispered under my breath

'If more human reinforcemnts come and i cant fly away or run away i should at least find somewhere to hide myself. At least that way i will be more protected than if i was out in the open' i thought to myself

I looked around for a split second before deciding on crouching behind a big piece of wreakage that was just a little ways off to my right. I grabbed a bloodstained bow i found inbetween small pieces of the wreakage and a single arrow that was stuck in the ground on my way.

Armed and hidden, crouched behind the wreackage i didnt have time to think any farther ahead before I heard my fathers voice come over the device around my throat.

"Y/n where are you? Are you okay?"

My head finally cleared from the slight ringing in my ears and the streaks of white in my vision as i heard the sound of my fathers voice.

"Y/n respond!" Jake urged with a more forceful tone to his voice

I took a moment to gather myself before i brought my hand up to my neck to respond.

"Yeah, im here. Im fine" i said in as calm a voice as i could manage at the time

"Well where are you then? I dont see you up above. Are you heading back home with the others?" He asked more calmly this time

I didnt know how to respond to that. Mostly because i was embarrased to be in the situation i was in when it never should have happened in the first place. Because i knew better than to do something dumb in the middle of a battle and just couldnt control my ikran, but how could i tell him that? The other part was that i didnt really know where i actually was on the battlefield to tell him my location.

When i didnt respond i heard him call my name again and was startled back to reality by the sound of his voice.

"Y/n, where are you right now" he said with a little more urgency to his voice

I heard who i assumed to be Neteyam in the background of my fathers end mutter something along the lines of "Im sorry, sir".

I slowly raised myself up from my hiding spot to look around to see if i could see any landmarks that stuck out to me that i could possibly relay to my father for him to be able to find me. Thats when i heard that familiar call.

"Its alright i can see mom" i relayed to him

I saw my mother flying on her own ikran around the battlefield. She had probably also noticed her childrens absences and went to search herself.

"Good. Signal to her and ride with her back home" Jake commanded

And i ended up doing just that.

[sunbloomdew]

Love Confessions in the Baxter DLC

Because i am very unwell, thank you. Part 1/3

After over 70 hours of playing the Baxter DLC – and despairing over that one monochrome guy, you know who – I wanted to take a moment to talk about all the possible love confessions in Baxter's version of Step 4. I find them all lovely and each of them made me squeal and smile like crazy, and i just gotta express my appreciation for them somewhere.

In Step 4 there are three love confessions. Two of them can be initiated by the MC, and the third one will be proclaimed by Baxter, if the MC doesn’t confess first. I tried all of them a couple of times, and they are all very cute (although my personal favourite is the confession the morning after the wedding)!

Before we begin i want to warn y’all that i wasn’t sure about the approach i wanted to take when talking about these moments, and as a result this post might not be a "put together careful game analysis" thingy. It's mostly just my ramblings and feelings that hopefully are a-okay to read haha. Without further delay, let’s begin!

Spoilers for specific moments in Baxter's version of Step 4!

All of the confessions take place after the wedding ceremony, so if you hadn't gotten there and don't wanna spoil those great moments for yourself i don't recommend reading further. I will go quite in depth about each option.

In chronological order, the first feelings declaration is the confession immediately after the wedding has ended.

Or as i've been referring to it in my head, The Wedding Confession!

Everybody is busy cleaning up, and MC hasn’t had a chance to have a one-on-one moment with Baxter since they split off in the morning. Naturally, they want to talk with him after the event is over. There is this underlying fear, that Baxter will leave again and they can't let that happen.

The two talk and Baxter apologises for his actions towards MC, five years ago in Sunset Bird and now, after they met again. I need to add that this apology is very well written and it definitively pulled on my heartstrings. Here the player can choose to confess on their own, accept his friendship hoping for a different type of relationship later on or just become friends.

Since i’m yet to play Baxter’s version of Step 4 with platonic feelings, i don’t know if this option appears if you have him at Fond. If anyone of you has done it, i would love to hear what it looks like! For example, does the player get to confess either way, in case they changed their mind (just how here you can choose to be friends)?

Moving further, if we choose to confess right away we get to pick how we want to do that - with words or by kissing him. Each choice will be preceded with an internal monologue from MC about their and Baxter’s relationship and what he means to them. I really like the way it's written. They go through all of the stages they've been around each other. If you met him at the Cypress in Step 2 Soiree Moment they mention how he was a boy in their memories, becoming real when they meet again by chance during summer of 2016. How he made this summer into everything and more and how he left. The years apart and finally the summer they reunited. I can't explain my feelings well, but i find this monologue very sweet but also full of longing - it makes me smile and it makes my heart ache at the same time.

Depending on when the MC confesses, Baxter has a different reaction to their silence. Since now he is waiting for them to accept him into their life again, he gets nervous the longer MC is lost in their thoughts, which is reflected in the expressions of his character model. It’s described as cracks of anxiety appearing on his face and him slipping back into his professional pleasantness. He chose to be vulnerable, and how MC replies will affect him.

After the character’s musings end the player gets one last chance to reaffirm the decision to confess.

Personally, I really like that we have the option to do so. Not only is it useful in case the player suddenly changed their mind, but also helps create the response you want from your MC.

If you back out then you no longer can confess in that moment. The story progresses the same as in the case of choosing not to confess. You can confess later in the game, or not confess at all and have Baxter do that.

If you pick the option to check if he means it, Baxter will reassure MC about wanting to stay by their side. It’s really adorable - especially since in response to MC he says “I do” (ya know, the famous wedding catchphrase) which he immediately follows up with: “You’ll have to excuse me for using that answer at someone else’s wedding, but I am entirely serious.” What a dork. After picking this option only two of the three are left - you can go further or back out.

And finally, you can confess. MC makes note of how now that the wedding was over, there would be no complications for the newlyweds (although they thought Miranda proposing to Terry at their wedding would be a great idea, so they really wouldn't mind lol). They think that since Baxter asked them out first, five years ago, it’s only fair that they do it now. It's one line, but for some reason i like this sentiment a lot. Like hell yeah, go MC! Ask him out now, make him speechless!

When it comes to spoken confessions, there is an abundance of choices to pick from. But my absolute favourite option is to echo Baxter’s own words from Step 3 Sightseeing Moment back at him: "Could I consider all the time we've spent together a date?". Chef’s kiss, it’s all coming together like a beautiful piece of tapestry. Simply iconic of them.

Confessing with a gesture has less options to choose from, but all are equally cute! If you choose to confess in this way, MC will have a short revelation about how different kissing Baxter now feels to kissing him five years ago. Baxter reacts a bit differently to this type of confession, since MC enters his personal space. My favourite is confessing by kissing Baxter on the forehead. It's absolutely precious.

The way Baxter reacts to MC confessing to him is… very interesting to say the least. He was ready to be friends them again or accept their rejection (there is no option like that in the game, but realistically, you just know he would prep himself up for this possibility) but he was not ready for a love confession. Baxter gives MC a moment to move past this and pretend that nothing happened, but it’s not going to work. I find that a curious thing to do. Baxter isn't hoping that MC doesn't have feelings for him and he himself does for them, but there is still that feeling of insecurity in him, that prevents him from accepting the confession right away.

We have the option to have MC sweep Baxter into a dance, or keep talking without that. I love the former choice and i always pick it for my character haha. It’s especially cute how Baxter stumbles and is so out of his depth. Both because of the unexpected movement and the sudden confession.

You can pick an option to tell him, that MC wanted to be with him even five years ago. His reaction to it is just. He is stunned and he doesn't believe it. But he knows MC isn't lying as well. I can feel the conflicted emotions he must have been experiencing upon hearing that just in one line of dialogue. And i think that's pretty powerful writing.

But then he fires back. He is full of disbelief and he doesn’t understand what could he have possibly done to deserve MC's affections. He doesn’t want to call MC a liar but he can’t accept that outcome either. Baxter’s old ways of dealing with relationships are resurfacing, because he can’t believe that he has the right to form such a deep connection with someone. It’s pretty heartbreaking to witness.

It's... so sad. "What did i do to make you like me?" he asks, because there must be something, because simply being himself is not enough, when Baxter inherently believes that he doesn't contribute anything. And if he doesn't contribute anything to somebody's life, he has no place in it.

MC decides to change tactics. Instead of trying to make Baxter accept their feelings, they ask what they mean to him. Whether they end up together is secondary - their goal is to help him overcome his mindset. I find that a really powerful act of love - helping the person you care about understand that they deserve to be loved without extravagant outings and carefully constructed barriers.

I really love Baxter’s response in this confession because it is very true to his character arc. His hesitance, how he withdraws and tries to appear unaffected. He reciprocates MC’s feelings, but he is too ashamed of himself and afraid. His view on himself makes him think that he can't be in a relationship with someone or friends with them, and that is something i find deeply sad. Still, he answers MC’s questions, with a few prefaces. He cites his inability to do things in the morning, less financial income and his past relationship management as reasons for why MC wouldn’t want to be with him. It’s him giving MC the chance to resign, to take back the love confession while they can. It reminds me of declining a meeting with your friends, because you believe that they will have more fun without you. It's self-preservation of your own feelings and diminishment of your impact on others, which comes from some form of dissatisfaction with the way we are.

But MC doesn't take their feelings back. They assure him that they want to be with him.

And once that is done, they ask him:

(I usually can comment on writing/art, but when i can't that's how you know it's the shit. i sat with my mouth open and my hands flapping around just cause this confession got me that excited <3)

This is the dialogue you get when you have Baxter on Crush. If you pick Love, instead of "I want to be with you" he will say "I'm in love with you".

Just like that, he accepts. I was totally shocked when that happened, but well, it does make sense. It was never a question, and Baxter admits so himself. He never stopped wanting to be with MC. He further expresses that he wasn't happy pushing them away five years ago and when they met again. It's quite sad to hear him admit that he didn't think staying together (in more than a romantic way) was an option until moments ago. But he got there ultimately and that's worth celebrating. Growth isn't linear, and sometimes we fall back to our old habits.

I really adore how openly Baxter expresses his affection for the MC, in the confession and later. Compared to Step 3 it feels more mature (no shit, sherlock) but also self-assured. Because he is finally starting to believe, that this - a relationship with a person who really knows him and chooses to stay - is something he can have.

These two lines of dialogue? Murdered me in my sleep with love and care. Sir, how dare you do that to me.

After that the two sillies finish their dance. Their story has a happy ending, they have been reunited. I adore how warm and happy this situation feels, and the descriptions make it feel so light and cheerful, like the moment with MC failing to catch their breath because they are laughing gleefully or Baxter holding them in a gentle embrace.

I really like this confession. Like i said before, it’s very true to Baxter’s character, and it also shows, that despite having good intentions and doing everything you can to change, people can still slip back into their old habits. But there will be people around you that believe you can learn and do better, and will stay with you and help you through it.

I also adore the overall silliness (after the angst is over, but i do love my fair share of angst as well) and the emotional beats. The characters banter, joke around.

And express how much they care about each other.

Also the fact that Miranda, Terry and Cove just gawked at the pair while they were having this huge emotional event is just hilarious. They are very nosy friends and i love them for that lol. Of course, Baxter is completely unaffected. GB Patch knew that if they made this man blush more than he already does in the game, they would actually kill us.

I'm not kidding, i die every time he blushes and get revived when he snorts. That's just the circle of life.

So yeah, that was one out of the three confessions! It's amazing and i hope i was able to convey what i love about it! Prior to playing the Baxter DLC i had around 50 hours on Steam, and after i got it It turned into 120 hours so... Yeah, Baxter Ward.

I'm splitting my confession ramblings into three posts for convenience. Parts 2 and 3 will be finished soon... Hopefully. Once they are i will place links to all the parts in each post (if i learn how to,,,,). Also wow, this post took me way too long to write, holy shit.

Peace out <3

Part 2!

[punishme85]

What Kind Of Drunk Are They? - Excluding Luke

Lucifer

- The messy lovey dovey type!

- He will come home at 3 am from Dia's place wasted and needing to see you asap.

- Would call and text you constantly telling you all the things he wouldn't normally say sober.

- Yes you know he loves you but this is on another level!

- Doesn't get drunk and messy in public! He is far too prideful for making a scene in public so he would simply sip a glass of Demonus rather than drink too much.

- If you're with him, he might share you with Diavolo and Barbatos. He will most definately spend the night making love to you either way!

- Clingy Possessive SIMP

- The next morning he would appreciate if you never spoke of the previous night to anyone!

If you broke up with him?

- Would stalk you relentlessly

- Any person hitting on you will disappear

- He will call you each time he drinks to try to convince you to get back together and that he loves you and misses you!

Just don't break up with him and you'll save lives!

Mammon

- He's the slutty messy type!

- Most likely to dance on the table, strip out of his clothes and streak through the Devildom.

- Most likely to end up in jail but he will keep the party going even behind bars.

- Would be all over you and anyone else he could

- He left the house fully clothed and comes home missing essential articles of clothing.

- There are sex tapes and videos circulating on the internet of him stripping.

- Wouldn't call or text, he would have insisted you come with him to keep him in check! Will drag you into the bathroom numerous times a night and charge people to watch the two of you.

- The next morning he would be completely hung over and embarrassed when Levi and Asmo show him the footage captured the night before. (They were the ones to post the videos online.)

If you broke up with him?

- He would be a messy crying drunk

- There is no party, just him calling over and over begging for forgiveness.

- His brothers would be calling you concerned about his well being!

Our poor Mammon might be a little messy but we can't break his heart like that!

Levi

- Nerdy party boy!

- He doesn't know when to stop until he's passed out or praying to the porcelain god!

- Will most likely go LIVE in the middle of the damn party.

- He would most likely end up in jail for swimming in a random fountain at 3am or summoning Lotan to keep a naked streaking Mammon away from him.

- Would not be out of his room if you hadn't cone with him! So you're stuck holding his phone, his wallet, his headphones, any random articles of clothing you might have lost along the way.

- No one would see him for days because of how embarrassed he was from the scenes he caused.

If you break up with him?

- Depression! Despair! Doesn't have the will to live!

- Will be broken, absolutely broken

- Will drunk call, text and sob on your voice-mail but that's whether he is sober or drunk so just another day.

Don't break his heart! You're his Henry, his player 2 and he loves you unconditionally.

Satan

- Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

- One minute he's the sweetest drunk, the next he's smashing faces and destroying the venue in a fit of violence!

- Whispering sweet nothings in your ear one second, someone grabs your ass and that demons a blood splatter a second later.

- Will be overly aggressive if Lucifer is brought up!

- Will send you sweet texts snd such if you're not with him! If you are and no fights occur, he will most likely ask to leave early to he can spend the rest of the night making love to you.

- Will most likely go to jail for his homicidal tendencies! They would lock him in a glass box just to keep an eye on him and the national guard would be called just in case!

- Will hate himself in the morning for causing a scene in front of you!

If you break up with him?

- Stalker 2.0!

- Will make sure he kills anyone that even looks in your general direction!

- Will be relentless with his phone calls and cat memes to try to get back together.

- You will receive a few messages from Lucifer to try to convince you to get back together with him to save lives.

You wouldn't possibly be able to break up with him. He is an amazing boyfriend, even covered in blood from defending your honor.

Asmo

- The ugly crier type!

- This man is a hoe and perverted but get him drunk and he turns completely messy. (In a bad way!)

- He broke a nail? Ugly cry! Someone insulted you? Cut a bitch and then ugly cry! You cut him off from drinking? Ugly cry! He's too pretty? UGLY CRY!

- He will apologize over and over while he cries and you're forced to drag him out if there before too many people can see his make up melting off his face!

- He wouldn't get arrested, instead they would call the local psych ward! Lucifer will not be pleased... again!

- If you didn't go out with him, you would end up with him because someone would call you to come pick him up!

- There will be no sexy times with him until he is sober!

- He would lock himself away in his room for a few days to combat the swollen eyes and puffy face from all the crying.

If you broke up with him?

- He would be distraught like no other!

- How dare you not love him anymore! He's the most beautiful out of all 3 realms!

- Would drink and send you videos of him ugly crying and begging for you to take him back! Would call all day and night and the texts wouldn't stop.

Asmo doesn't get drunk often, it's up to you to make sure his perfect image is upheld when he does!

Beel

- This man doesn't get drunk easily and would prefer to be the DD or responsible adult of the group.

- He must always make sure the brothers are safe.

- Calls Lucifer whenever one of the brothers (if not all) gets thrown in jail/psych ward.

- He went to the party for the food.

- Will call and text if you're not with him, but he is sober.

If you break up with him?

THERE WILL NEVER BE A REASON TO BREAK UP WITH THIS MAN! (He's a complete sweetheart and a good boy! He's a keeper, Marry him!)

Belphie

- The aggressive passed out drunk!

- He will not call you, text you or remember that you're even alive when he has been drinking.

- If you are with him, he will be all over you like Beel on a burger.

- He doesn't usually get arrested when he's drunk, instead Beel carries him around whereever he goes.

- Has been arrested a couple times for being passed out and someone tries to wake him to kick him out of the establishment. The cops were called because they lost an arm or leg from this bitch lashing out.

- Won't care about the the previous night in the morning.

If you break up with him?

- He will stalk you like no other!

- May kill your family, friends and anyone in the general vicinity.

- Jealous bitch will call you constantly while hes drinking at this point.

Less of a hassle to just stay in the relationship. Plus you get a 2 for 1 deal with Beel included, he's the good boy out of these two.

Lord Diavolo

- This man would be a parry demon!

- He's up for anything! Skydiving naked? Yes! Dancing on tables naked? YES please! Skinny dipping in the downtown fountain? In a heart beat!

- Barbatos would twart his plans everything though!

- The future king of the Devildom must not be seen as messy! The brothers and you are the bad influences for the prince.

- He wouldn't get jailed, but he would most certainly bail the avatars out if Lucifer refuses to deal with it.

- Will get drunk in the castle! He's a messy flirty drunk who will have all the fun behind closed doors.

- He will text you, send nudes, call you for phone sex, video chats and so much more. He loves you and if you're not with him and he isn't supervised in his room, he will show you just how much he loves you.

- The next morning he's happy and not hung over at all.

If you break up with him?

- No one sane would break up with him!

- He's your biggest cheerleader

Do not break this mans heart!

Barbatos

- You will find he doesn't drink often but when he does, he's a hoe.

- He will end up taking care of Dia all night and trying to prevent disasters.

- On the rare occasion that he does cut loose, you won't be seeing any room but his bedroom and bathroom. He will already have an assortment of snacks and food incase you get hungry.

- At this point he may even invite Lucifer and Diavolo to join the two of you to make things more interesting!

- He wouldn't be caught dead in a jail unless you happened to get arrested along with the brothers and he couldn't prevent it from happening.

- He doesn't regret the next day, no matter what. Probably because he knows what will happen before it happens.

If you break up with him?

- This wouldn't happen, if he sees a break up in the future, he wouldn't have dated you to begin with!

He knows everything.

Simeon

- Our angel would be the paranoid drunk until he's a drunk enough to not care anymore!

- Is he laughing too loudly? Is he making a fool of himself? What if he says the wrong thing?

- In the end ether he stops himself before he drinks too much or he turns messy.

- He will be right there with all the drama!

- If you're not with him, he will text you constantly telling you he loves you! Will also be another dick pic sender!

- If you're with him,he's he's type to drag you away for some fun! Bathroom, back alley,  dark corner?

- May have been arrested for being with the brothers while they got arrested. Dia always bails him out first.

- Regrets nothing the next morning unless he was caught on camera doing unsavory things.

If you broke up with him?

- He would be a messier ugly crier than Asmo!

- Luke would call you to try to fix him!

- Everyone would call you to try to fix him!

We couldn't break up with him if we tried!

Solomon

- The slutty drunk and troublemaker!

- He will be more than happy to encourage the brothers getting into the situations they do.

- Levi got drunk faster because he cast a spell that made Levi not be able to taste the alcohol. He offered Mammon grimm to start dancing on the table. He told Satan someone grabbed your ass!

- He doesn't get arrested, instead if Asmo is with him sober, they will wait till the brothers are arrested and go to a succubus party instead.

- If he is without you, he will send you dirty texts, lovely texts and brag about it the whole time! If you send him a nude pic, he will brag about that as well!

- if you're with him, he will be dragging you around to parties and sick you on whomever he chooses to watch you with but you always end up back with him in the end.

- He doesn't regret anything as well.

If you break up with him?

- He would stalk you mercilessly!

- He will cast a spell on you so anyone with romantic intentions will be repelled away from you.

- He will be a sobbing drunk sitting at an orgy begging for you to come back to him!

In the end he will probably try to perfect love potions just so you will fall back in love with him. What a waste of time, might as well stay with him!

[puella-1n-somn10]

⚔️Puella Magi Madoka Magica x Pokemon Sword/Shield: Hop and his Witch Form⚔️

Word count w/o intro: 11,703

Look, I know that the Traveler from Genshin won that poll, but...if I may be honest, I am not ready for what concept I had for them to completely topple apart all thanks to a single shred of lore being aimed at my head at mach speed. Trust me, fellas, I saw the roller coaster that is the Fontaine chapter; if shit is that crazy while we are halfway through the main story, then I dread the revelations that will befall us all when SNEZHNAYA rolls around-!

With all that being said...welcome back, ladies, gents, and those who have casted the dreaded concept of gender out of their lives! For those who are unaware, we are here today to witness what would happen if I were to take the worldbuilding of Puella Magi Madoka Magica and apply them to other media. Today's unfortunate guest for today is none other than the goat himself, Hop!

...Not funny? Ah, alright-

Yes, I am aware that Hop's reputation amongst the fanbase is...controversial at best. Generally speaking, I've noticed that the negative image of this character was formed by the fans prematurely judging him based on his initial lines of dialogue, passionate (which is often mischaracterized as cheerful) attitude, and, I shit you all not, animations (which is more of a fault caused by tight release schedules and the developers being rushed than that of the character himself). From these alone, he tends to be placed on tiers lower than the fucking Gen 6 rivals (no hate towards them, promise, I just wish they were fleshed out more)- which proves to me that not only are those types of Pokemon fans purely visual beings, but that media literacy is dead, rotting, and its tombstone has been Hyper Beamed to Hell and back-

BUT we're not here to rant now, aren't we? My...personal, burning distaste towards those who call him a Hau clone aside, we are here to dissect his character- in more literal ways than one! If I may be honest, this analysis post thinly disguised as a silly, crossover ficlet was created as a thought and writing exercise for myself, and it was quite fun, if I must admit! So I hope from the bottom of my heart that you guys find as much joy in Hop's pain and suffering as I did while writing it!

Just a few quick warnings, this post will contain mentions of child neglect and favoritism, implications of social ostracization and public shaming, and, I cannot stress this enough, mentions of self destruction/S-H/su-c-de. If any of these themes are too triggering, especially that last one, please, please click away! I am being serious here- take the utmost care, and be safe!

Of course, spoilers for Madoka Magica, Magia Record (Anime ver.), and Pokemon SWSH are right up ahead! If I may be honest, I haven't touched upon the DLCs yet, so spoilers regarding them will be minimal at most. There will also be shades of PostwickShipping (Hop <3 Gloria) present, so if that isn't your cup of tea, I sincerely apologize.

It would also be fitting to play some Decretum on the side, too, especially when we get to the despair bit- God damn, he and Sayaka need to be buddies.

-The Wish, Possible Powers, and Soul Gem-

"Before we ever started out on this journey… I remember watching Lee on the telly. He was like a bright star, so strong I could hardly bear to look right at him. But now, I can tell just how strong he really is… And what he's got that I haven't…"

Now, I could go the easy way and say that he'd wish to be as great as Leon- to become as strong as the champion and equally undefeatable, but, honestly, not only does this feel cheap, it feels so...unlike Hop as a character. He doesn't just want to defeat Leon- he wants to prove his worth and make his mark as a trainer. Hop, like the rest of Galar, idolizes his brother- so much so that he copied his strategies and every move; a mistake that had gotten him to lose the fight in the Circhester stadium even after facing off against so many trials and tribulations-

After all, as Bede said it in his own...brutish way, if people looked down on Hop, they will do the same to Leon - the man who Hop looks up to as not just an older sibling, but as a symbol- as an unshakable LEGEND, and not just as a human being -. So if the perception of the man who Hop saw as a hero was to shake all thanks to him...it'd be quite devastating, to say the least. It was this possibility that hit him the most- where his worth and identity came into question.

Hop may dislike losing - a sentiment that grows stronger every time you defeat him -, but what he fears even more is disappointing others; lowering his and his brother's worth in their eyes. He wanted to be number #1 because it was expected of him to do so, by himself, by the public, and, when you think about it, even by his family - whether consciously or not -...

After all, just look at his home- do you see any pictures of Hop around? Left and right you find memorabilia and trophies belonging to Leon, but how much mementos of Hop can you find? Whether or not he was aware of it, Hop craved not just the glory of his brother, but also the validation and positive attention.

This was his path in life- no, this was his destiny, as he'd put it; to become as strong as his hero and receive that blazing torch after living in his shadow for so long. To live up to his splendor, to inspire others to get up and take a stance, and to make something out of himself. His brother was a hero- so it makes sense to imitate someone as amazing and strong as him.

So, after analyzing his character for a bit, his wish could go along the lines of wanting to be by his brother's side, or, more appropriately, to make an impact on the world and the lives of others like he did. After all, we are assuming that he made the contract a bit before his constant losses began to fuck with him; he had confidence in his abilities at least during the beginning, and was certain that he was going to emerge from the final battle victorious.

The powers resulting from this wish could go in a lot of different ways; after all, wishing to make an impact is quite abstract. It isn't like he wished for someone else to get healed or to win on a lottery; so trying to make powers based on that would be tricky. My best guess is that his powers are associated with memories and legacies, which, once more, also fits in really well with how he documented and tried to mimic Leon's strategies and actions.

Now, before we focus on his soul gem and witness it crumble along with his self-esteem, we're going to take a good look at his attire upon transformation into his Magical Boy form- an aspect that, regrettably, I've forgotten to cover back while I was analyzing Medic. Now, this part may be a little unclear to some upon first reviewing the designs present in PMMM, but a pattern is there- and one of the most common reasons behind a magi's design is the intent behind their wish and their desires before or after taking on the contract. In order to prove my point, I'm gonna list some examples:

Sayaka Miki is a knight in shining armor; she wanted to uphold the ideal of a magical girl and fight for what's right

Homura Akemi's outfit is rather...funerary, for lack of a better term; she made her wish as result of her losing Madoka, and had more or less doomed herself to watching the demise of her beloved over and over again

Nagisa's outfit looks like an everyday, ordinary outfit for someone her age; she craved a normal life where she was able to be just like the other kids around her- not having to worry about living in a dump and caring for an unstable parent

Iroha's design invokes the idea of a ranger or even a mercenary; she is dedicated to finding her sister at what cost, even if most of the evidence (or lack there-of) pointed towards Ui not existing in the first place

Being in the spotlight of someone else's life, looking up to his brother, and making said champion an example on how he should lead his life...I think a stereotypical, legendary hero might do it; the main protagonist of tales like Beowulf or even your everyday JRPGs. Hop often made references to him 'weaving his own legend', so this would make perfect sense!

Speaking of-

Regarding his soul gem's shape, simple- upon transformation, it would look just like a small flame placed on his solar plexus like a brooch or button. Comparisons to Leon's charizard aside, it is a simple and straightforward symbol representing his personality; passionate, competitive, hot-headed, and bright- but all flames are prone to dying out one way or another. Hop's association with fire is also presented to us in-canon in his second league card, with him pulling off Leon's signature pose as flames wildly danced around him.

This also brings the idea of him burning himself away to fit into his ideal of a champion to mind, or literally burning himself out. A raging fire ready to render all that is in its path into ash- including himself.

The emblem on the middle of its egg form is a little harder for me to interpret fully. I could go with the easy way and say that it's probably the same as its form upon his Puer Magi transformation, but we all know that my perfectionist ass would not just simply settle with that. The options on our hands are as follows;

The easy option, the Hop flower (symbolizing how becoming a professor is his true calling in life)

A coat of arms (royalty themes- also, a pun on Eternatus' eternamax form, coat of ARMS, heheh)

A spiral (symbol of futility, continuation, cycles, and a downward spiral)

A coat of arms WITH a spiral in the middle (look at the above two points)

A flag (him wishing to create his own legend, and how he was initially a foot ahead of us during the start of our journey together)

A windmill (...we'll get to that, but let's assume it's because of Postwick for now- I personally prefer this one)

A shield with two crossed swords (again, royalty and hero themes)

As for its color, here is where things get interesting; I already spoke about how most soul gems correspond with the eye color of their respective magi, since "eyes are the windows to a person's soul", so a brilliant gold would fit both with this unwritten rule and thematically. However, then I got thinking- Red is also an applicable color, right? It fits his personality, and would clash really well with the cool purples and blues...until I realized that not only is red already going to be present as a sort of secondary (if not primary) color to go along with the existing cool palette in mind, but the added gold highlights would embolden it and make sure this design really pops.

Besides, making red a central color for his magi outfit also adds in to the idea of him still mimicking Leon, whose associated colors are purple, gold, and, of course, the reds of his cape! We aren't completely sure as to how much control a magi has over the outfit they'll don upon transformation, but we do know that Madoka actually designed her own magical clothing, so some input from the magi themselves, whether consciously or not, does contribute to the matter. This would also make a cute little homage to his champion outfit in Pokemon Masters EX!

One last point before we get to the part you've all been waiting for, we have to look at his weapon; yes, his powers are probably associated with memories or even perception, but, according to my research, one's weapon doesn't necessarily have to be tied to the wish. As a matter of fact, aside from Mami's ribbons (symbolizing her being tied to the life of a magical girl and her capturing others in this web of malice whether consciously or not- a literal lifeline), most of the cast's weapons are unrelated to the wishes made, and, like the aforementioned outfits, are more tied to the magi's intents or even personalities;

Nagisa's is a trumpet that blows out bubbles. She wanted her mother to hear her, but she's only ever able to let out little squeaks; the dichotomy between her desire to be acknowledged and wanting to be a decent daughter to a horrible person like her mother.

Homura's is a shield; she wishes to protect Madoka, but a shield alone cannot deflect everything threatening her sweet rose. There's also the symbolism of her hiding behind a shield, both as Moemura (shy and reserved) and Cool Homu (covering her emotions with an aloof exterior); in both cases, she's hiding herself away from the world.

Sayaka's is a cutlass sword. Go figure.

I am not completely sure on Madoka's; she dislikes brutal fighting, so it would make sense for her to use a long-range weapon that she's able to use to snipe enemies from a safe-enough distance. I also heard that a bow and arrow have some sort of significance in Christian lore, but, to be frank, I am not completely sure about this; this section requires further study.

Again, I gotta thank @bluethepearldiver for saving my butt here and on the upcoming natures section! According to them, since I had already removed swords and shields from the equation in order to make space for both Gloria and Victor, a polearm type of weapon would fit him the most! In their own, brilliant words, it is "representing how unattainable his goal ultimately is", and, in my opinion, it is a mid-range weapon- when utilized correctly, Hop would be able to conquer battles that would require either long or short ranged attacks to clear! Also, personally, it brings the image of a sheep herder to mind.

As for the specific type of polearm, that one would require a lot more creativity, but, since Hop comes from Postwick, a weapon that originates from Europe would be fitting. After thinking about it, I believe his weapon is probably a Halberd, due to how it can pierce, chop, or slash depending on the situation. It would also symbolize poor, bright-eyed Hop constantly changing his strategies and teams in order to catch up to us- to finally match us in strength. Every time we met him, he would have different strategies, a different team, a different outlook- he tried every viable, effective strategy, tearing apart the aspects of himself that were deemed roadblocks, pushing himself until he was burning himself way too brightly for his own good, yet...

-Descent Into Despair-

He lost. He had lost yet again, hasn't he?

His grip on the pokeball was shaky. The eyes of the crowd fixated on him as the last of his pokemon fell to the ground. Frozen air filled his lungs; his eyes felt like they were turned to stone, as did the veins in his arms.

The whispers grew louder; the crowd's collective judgement was being passed from one attendant to another. His teeth were about to shatter from the pressure around him alone. Not even Melony's concerns were registered on his mind; all the words around him amalgamated into a brute cacophony that choked all the will and rationality out of him.

His heart was on fire. His lips were dried as he stared at the nothingness before him. It was so hard to continue standing up- fucking impossible to focus on anything but this blunder forged by his own hands- which he now sees as nothing but useless vestiges. His heart was a war drum in the midst of conflict; beating as though the drummer's life was on the line if they were to dare and drop the pace. How he wanted to gouge his own eyes out and rip those ears out...

"Pitiful."

What on Earth was he missing?

He tried to change his strategies, he really did. The sad look on his pokemon’s eyes broke him every time, but they just couldn’t be of good help…he had to be a better trainer.

That’s what good trainers do, right? They make sure their teams were optimal. After all, strategy came first; that was what he learned from all these battles that long moved his heart.

"Foolish."

Another loss.

He looked down at his final, fallen comrade, not taking his shaking hands into account. Was it the cold? The stress? The sheer disbelief of what was before him?

Or was it frustration? A poison seeping between his clenched teeth- ready to curse out himself and direct his anger to the world? Readying him to pound against the earth beneath him until his knuckles were mangled and bloody?

No...no, this can't be it. He had to push himself further- he had to be better. Not a single Pokemon of his would listen to someone as fragile as he was; he had to make an example out of himself if he had to be a strong leader- a hero to them...

"Hypocrite."

Wooloo...

You promised, didn't you?

He stifled his own sobs. Oh, how could you have done this to them, Hop? They were the closest thing you had to a childhood friend! They were right by your side to the very end! All you had to do was to keep their head up, tell them it wasn't their fault, and that you would still enter the league together if you both focused! All you had to do was stay strong-

But you couldn't. You just had to up and leave them; cast them to the dirt where you dragged his good name through.

In the end, he couldn't even uphold that.

"Pathetic."

Over and over...over and over, he had repeated this fruitless, pitiful endeavor- all to no avail.

Finding himself floating adrift, Hop feels as though his very existence was slowly slipping from his fingers; becoming one with the very void surrounding him. He couldn't even feel his limbs, much less his face.

No matter how much he had stretched himself so thin, it just wouldn't work. The evidence was there before him, for all of Galar to see- his true rival and his brother on that field together, the latter holding the other's hand and raising it up in the air...that no matter what he did, all the sacrifices he had made, it was all up there in the air like smoke. His dreams, hopes, and ambitions- gone with what shine in his eyes that were left.

Oh, little sheep...do you not realize that you have tangled yourself within this spider web- the very definition of insanity?

"Worthless."

He's tired.

With each loss, it got a lot harder for him to get up and walk away.

His legs were shaking, and not just due to the harsh winds around him. The winds were picking up their pace, but the eyes, the eyes, the eyes-

Why must you insist on further embarrassing yourself, young man? Can't you tell when it's the time for you to just drop everything and move on with something better for everyone else's sake?

You're just embarrassing yourself at this point- nothing more than a clown attracting disrespect and shame like flies to a rotting carcass much like yourself.

...

Yeah...

What if...it was him?

He couldn't take the watchful gazes of the crowded streets anymore. Oh, how he wanted to hide away in the corners of the world- render his own face into nothing but a crimson pulp just so their judgemental glares, mocking smiles, and whispers would finally leave him alone and hollow.

His heart was racing- his veins were on fire, and his arms were about to burst.

It was too much... Upon stumbling upon a silent, empty, dirty alleyway, he slumped onto his knees as he shook from both the cold and pressure of all the bottled up frustrations in him. At long last, the waterworks finally broke out. Only the night sky and howling winds were his current company; doing little to distract him from his pained heartbeats and dried up throat.

He couldn't hold on to his victories, no matter how feeble or small. It didn't matter what he did or how much he tried, all that he's tried holding on to will just slip away from his fingers, like the breaths of fresh, cold air escaping him; inhaling just enough as to not allow him to pass out on the spot, but it was only that much.

The sound of metal clanging on the ground escaped his ears. It was only when he was finally slumped on the ground that he had noticed the fading luminescence just before his reach. Even as his body shook from the mental strain and the cold, he still recognized the jewel that was on the dirtied ground. Hands shaking, he slowly picked up the once brilliant object...

Through jittering teeth, he just couldn't help but sob whilst instinctively smiling; the sound coming out like a sort of soft giggle...

Hahahah...oh, don't tell him- don't tell him he couldn't...

What a mockery- look at him, everyone! Not only had he failed the challenges before him, but, oh, this poor damn pest- he couldn't even look after his own damn soul gem! The very thing he had traded away what was left of his identity outside of the league for- and even then, with his wish, it only made sure that his mistakes would return to him in even stronger, more merciless manners. Was it due to him being unable to focus on both perfecting his strategies and his duties as a puer magi?

For all Hop cared at that moment, it was just another sign of his pathetic, useless existence. Worthlessness- no, he was way beneath that; he had failed. He had failed, he had failed, he had failed, he lost, he had motherfucking lost.

Answer yourself this, Hop- Do tell how you expected to come so far like this! How you have managed to shamble and shuffle through the league challenge like the worm you are, with nothing but another's achievements to your name- and you couldn't even take good care of that!

"...Useless..."

Hop shakily breathed out.

"Hah...if only I wasn't born so useless..."

His grip on both sides of his head grew tighter. As he gritted his teeth and his eyes twitched, one last thought flashed in his mind-

"There's...nowhere left for me..."

"Everyone else is moving on without someone...some pest like I am..."

With all the air that was left in his lungs, Hop roared into the night and unleashed all the grief in his heart. His anguished wail was interrupted by a sudden crash, and all that was left were the howling, autumnal winds...

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Word of the contestants' escalating behaviors grew amongst the people of Galar.

At first, it manifested as deepened anxieties; competitors being so overwhelmed by the upcoming events that it caused them to hyperventilate, shake uncontrollably in between sobs and unintelligible screams, or, at worst, completely melt down; faces reddened by tears as they were unable to remove themselves from the ground due to the paralyzing nervousness and hysteria. Initially, these incidents were brushed off as being related to the individuals' worries over the nature of the Gym Challenge, on top of the resulting trauma caused by the Darkest Day; even after the region was granted another chance at seeing the bright, blue skies, tensions were still at an all-time high, so, at the time, this appeared to have been the most rational conclusion.

It was when they've descended into thrashing bitterness and violence, however, that concern was finally demanded and raised- and, along with them, a whole basket of questions that craved all the answers in the world; anything to make sense of what was unraveling. Many a stadium had to close down - some even in the midst of these breakouts - for investigation purposes in order to get to the bottom of this anomaly.

Before long, rumors began to spread amongst the Galarian public- both on the streets and on social media; ranging from a contamination of sorts, to possible side effects of the Darkest Day that the current chairman was uninformed of. In the end, one by one, the majority of the gym leaders had to step forward admit that they knew as much as the rest did regarding the matter, but that did little to help stop the creation and spread of conspiracy theories, and they soon devolved into a competition of its own; on whose hypothesis is the most click-worthy and attention-grabbing.

Nothing was stacking up; everything had been tested - the water, the air, the soil, and especially the power spots -, the stadiums were inspected from top to bottom, and even the gym leaders were interviewed; it all came back negative.

The chairman himself had gone dark.

In the midst of the mass hysteria, right everyone's noses, the range of whatever was influencing these stadiums, the...being that has sending all these people into these frenzies...was growing.

Violent breakouts and missing persons reports spiked without ever showing a sign of slowing down. Nay, not even the gym leaders were spared- with Bea finally coming to her senses while Allister tried to subdue her and not hurt the rest around her, and Milo's herd of Wooloo going completely berserk and in complete panic not unlike the contestants and their own pokemon.

It was at its assumed worst when it had finally reached Postwick Town. Most of Galar had succumbed to what was engulfing it with its malice and twisted hopes, and, according to theorists, they doubted it would stop there. The people residing in the Isle of Armor and Crown Tundra were given the order to lock down and cease all functions until further information's released, in the vain hopes of preventing the spread of its influence.

And then-

Silence.

Everything around them was completely dim, with nothing but small flickers of flame and their own eyes' adaptation to help traverse them through what became of the region; a dim, cold land with ashy skies overhead, overrun with scared wildlife and...monsters- beasts you have never seen the likes of before. Perhaps staying still while you're able to recognize Galar while you could would be the wisest choice; stray far enough, and the world around you will fade, shift, and turn, until you find yourself not outdoors anymore, but in a dingy, suffocating hallway filled with cracks and little to no light-

and, soon enough, you will realize that you are not alone.

To the most fortunate (or unlucky, depending on the perspective), the sight of the missing people was there for them to see; lined up for their next battles and subsequent executions. Days of being trapped, fought, beaten up, and isolated in pain did a number on their psyches, and that is without mentioning the existing effects that have already engulfed Galar; plunging them into insanity.

By the braver and most informed few, most of the missing people have currently been accounted for- most, had it not been for the unfortunate casualties resulting from...all that has been unfolding around them, whether they were still yet to be found, were done in by beasts swarming through these twisting tunnels, condemned by whatever's waiting for them at the center of this cursed maze, or...just couldn't take it anymore, is still up in the air. Those whose statuses have not yet been confirmed included the younger brother of the former champion himself- who, quite possibly, may have been one of the earliest victims, if the timeline was to serve them right-

Oh, but if only they knew better- that the bright-eyed, enthusiastic Hop was right back to where it all started; watching the competition from atop the stage, waiting for the next match to begin. The empty husk that was once "Hop" was silent; slumped to the back to his seat with his dull, milky eyes staring into the distance, as the crowds roared once the hero and his new challenger entered the fray.

Yes...yes! Cheer for him! ONLY HIM!

Shaking from the cold and the tension of her surroundings, Gloria's attention darted from the armored monstrosity to her unconscious rival amongst the masses. His colors all but completely desaturated- it was nothing short of a miracle seeing his body still somewhat intact, though his sunken face and sloughing skin - some even falling as soon as she grabbed on to him; revealing pale bone -...without thinking, the armored girl screamed.

Contrasting Gloria's priority shifting from grabbing on to Hop's corpse and make a break for it to taking down that thing who must have caused it, Leon was...silent. His heart sank as he fell on his knees- his eyes shook as he fixated on the monster before them. His blood ran ice cold; it was so hard to breathe without sobbing...

Gloria and the gym leaders who have finally located the arena - those who have and haven't contracted - deemed that being a monster- Hop's God damned murderer, but Leon knew better.

The gold hues that were pooling from what's assumed to be the monster's eyes were unmistakable.

His own little brother was right before him, waiting to fight him in the middle of this arena-

Just like how he had promised- like how he had always wished for...

-The Witch's Nature-

Ah, the most unpredictable section of this post- the one where yours truly is expected to agonize and sob over all the options before me. Character complexities are complex! Multiple reasons behind despair! Oh, how is your truly ever going to choose the perfect nature for a warlock that would not only encompass the magi's goals and history with only a few words, but one that would also feel fitting for a spooky being like a witch?!

Welp- once more, I have thank Blue for their brilliant input once more! They've decided that his nature would be Admiration, and, honestly, it's genius! It not only fits his overall character, goals, and what caused his sanity to go downhill with the brakes cut off, but it has the right amount of dissonance that the witches of PMMM are known for! Again, this has been your reminder to support them- c'mon, chop chop, that's an order.

Of course, nothing wrong with mentioning all the other, though scrapped, natures. Again, you're all free to reinterpret the warlock to your hearts' content, and if you do have any other suggestion that would fit, please let me know! I not only want to understand Hop's character better, but I do wish to improve my character-deciphering and writing skills. Once more, I encourage all sorts of fair criticism heading my way, and, with all that being said, here's the losers' club:

Reflective

Smitten

Idolizing/Idolization

Competitive (decided that this one might fit Nemona better if I ever got into ScaVio and made a witch for her. Later. Inshallah.)

Self-abandonment (look at the above, but with Bede instead)

Self-immolation

Guilty

To yearn/Yearning (again, Nemona)

-The Witch's Appearance-

"It's not enough! I've got to try harder! And harder and harder till no one's laughing!"

Alright, first thing's first, before we dive into ANYTHING, we need to touch upon Hop's self-image and how it transforms through the course of the game. From the beginning, he is just so confident in his abilities and goals; it wasn't just a desire, it's a goal- he will beat Leon! He will become champion! One day, he's going to be on that stage; he WILL fight Leon, and he WILL beat him- just we wait!

And 'wait' we didn't.

For all his talk about creating his own legend, of taking up the mantle, we have done nothing but drag his face through the dirt without failure.

The more we beat that poor fella up, the more...desperate he became, and it gets cranked up to 11 once Bede humiliated him; calling him a waste of space, and that all he is doing is tainting his brother's legacy by trying, so it would be best for all parties involved he should just stop that. If he just stopped trying at all. If he just gave up at once. He still tries to maintain the spirit of friendly competition between the main character and himself, but the constant humiliation has been getting to him, and the talons that are digging in to his mind are sharp.

It is then that we finally realize that the once-confident trainer who initially accompanied us is no more. This hatred towards himself only grew with time, and, even when he had reintegrated Wooloo/Dubwool into his team, his self-worth was still nigh-non existent; he dared not accompany us during even the post-game story, believing that he would just be slowing us all down, and how we would fare and be better without someone like him around.

In Hop's eyes, he was a burden; a waste of space, and, no matter how much he tried to fight it, those words would persistently repeat in his mind. His constant defeats didn't help, either, whether it was by our or any other trainer's hands-

Hell, it can be argued that Hop's earlier confidence and passion were nothing but "fronts"; he had always cheered Leon on and idealized (dare I say even worshiped) him to no end, but, aside from the promise that he would, one day, defeat his brother and become a champion, what other positive things did he say about himself? What other dreams did he hold? He owed so much of his own knowledge about Pokemon battles to Leon, after all. This can be seen in the third episode of Pokemon: Twilight Wings, if we choose to interpret Wooloo's actions as reflective of Hop's- trying to be something it is not, and, ultimately, causing it to stray far from "home".

He wanted to be the hero of his own story. That's all he wished for. Instead, we've shoved him into the sidelines- face first on the dirt, without even realizing our strengths.

History repeats once more- the tale of Leon and Sonia all over again.

The image of a knight, a warrior, a hero is definitely a strong base to start it all off. The ideal knight in shining armor, he who stands up for everything right- the unbeatable champion of the people. Not just a person to look up to, but a symbol- that's all he wanted to become; just like how he saw his brother.

When he realized that his current tactics didn't work, everything had to go out the window. We aren't saying this lightly- everything. His plans, his . He had to change everything about himself- until he realized that the problem weren't his teams or his plans...it was him. It has always been his fault- he was just weak, nothing more than a pathetic worm.

The armor is scraping every fiber of his being. No matter what, he still cannot attain the strength and glory of a champion- so he has to keep doing this; break and melt himself. It isn't right, it hurts, but he deserves that pain- he deserves the agony and so much worse for the sin of his existence.

But it's not enough. It's not enough, and it will never be enough. Flaming hot, red daggers will forever pierce through his flesh and skin; melting and reshaping him not necessarily just to fit his desired goal, but as punishment.

It doesn't matter, though. It doesn't change his sheer, fucking incompetence. He'd bash himself against the wall, turn his knuckles bloody, and have his howls of torment be drowned out by his observers' whispers and harsh judgements, but it doesn't change the fact that he deserved every second of it. He had to keep molding himself, he had to suffer, he had to pay for being such a pest to everyone's lives and for being so weak...

No matter how much he tried, it doesn't change the truth that he is no damn hero; he is here as a prisoner, present to repent for his crimes of his pathetic existence...

Oh, yeah. Futility is not just a present theme, but we are running to the HILLS with it.

Next up, we look at his actions- the "spice" and depth this brings to his warlock's design.

Let's retrace our steps a bit and look at Hop's character before and after the main story; as soon as we boot up the game for the first time, there we see Hop being so excited over his brother finally coming home- he was practically shaking and jumping by the news of it alone! He just couldn't wait to see him again, much less what he must have brought back with him- and, when he laid his eyes on the starters and chose his, he was over the moon and the sun; this was the beginning of his legacy! Ah, even his own mother said that he had to learn some patience.

Compare and contrast to his attitude in postgame- he's a lot more mellowed out, but that can be better described as him finally being burnt out. He had nowhere to go, no goal to attain, and not a single strength to his name. Bede and Marnie are training to become gym leaders, Leon's the new chairman of the Galar league, Sonia is on the way to become the new regional professor, but Hop? There was nothing left for him. There isn't anything he was able to do that others could do even better- all that was left for him was to rot in the fields, forgotten and cast away like the object of shame he was.

"I don't know how much I can really help... If I come along, I might just end up slowing the rest of you down..."

I've already established how the warlock might be imprisoned in a sense; all to symbolize how he must have felt during his downfall and the lengths he went through in order to become someone worthy of becoming champion- of sharing his brother's legacy, but we should also take how he first started off into account. We already have the pain, but where is the tragedy in it all? The downfall of his confidence? The fall of Hop, the once bright-eyed, confident, and proud young man? How could we symbolize the face that we have flicked his passion and convictions away with the push of our buttons?

Passion...glory...destruction...hotheadedness...Lee...Charizard...

"Fire- and lots of it!"

Yeah, this should not come off as a surprise - given how I have already mentioned it dozens of times already -, but, hey, if Ophelia has a lot of flames in her design to symbolize the tragic end of her family and her own hotheadedness, then I can't see why the same cannot be applicable to our uncrowned prince of Galar. Truth be told, I think the fire is burning at him to this day; as I already mentioned, he is in a constant state of melting down and reshaping himself to no end to fit an ideal that is so far away from him, and what better way to do so than by forcing himself to endure these flames to no end- not just to burn away all his mistakes, but to subject himself to what rage and disappointment he believes Leon must be feeling? You cannot ask for a more fitting punishment, no? Quite ironic as well, if you'd ask me.

Plus, as a warlock, he wants the people to cheer for him- only him! What better way is there to grab their attention and love than by becoming the brightest thing on the battlefield?! Yes, it's all worth it in the end, hearing the people of Galar scream just for him alone- oh, he couldn't be happier! That is all he desires! If we thought Oktavia craved attention, think again.

Speaking of lengths he went through to become someone he is not, let's talk about him changing his teams; this is his point of transformation as a character, where the cracks in his confidence begin to grow alongside his desperation. At this stage, Hop was willing to make any sacrifice necessary to meet that goal of his- if he fails, not only were his dreams on the line, but so was Leon's reputation. The only constant between these teams is the starter Leon gave him- with teary eyes and a regretful heart, he had damned the experiences and memories he shared with the 'mons he caught along the way, for all that mattered at that moment, all that was worth keeping, was the one thing that held any sort of direct connection to his future glory; the very gift his brother gave him. It should be worth it though, right? He's only becoming better, becoming stronger, becoming the best trainer he could be-

Isn't that right, Wooloo?

Oh, man, wooloo. What kind of Hop-centric design would this be if I didn't incorporate this cute little sheep in some form or another? If not the sheer GUILT he must be feeling? Since I already covered how the warlock would be forever unsatisfied with his form, let us talk about the promise he made with Wooloo, and how him breaking it must be haunting him. Just up and abandoning them, his lifelong partner pokemon must hate him for such a cowardly decision- it should hate him; he had backed out of such an important vow between them, and implied that it was their fault that he was unable to reach his goals. Ultimately, it is his guilt and self-hatred that got him here; whenever he wasn't melting down and reforging himself, he was always fighting for the audience's attention- a whole herd of sheep who constantly demand a spectacular show. It felt right for his first partner pokemon to judge him, after all- he must be condemned for his disloyalty...

Building upon the last point- since Wooloo, his very first pokemon, was also removed from the team, this would translate beautifully into him removing parts of himself to fit that perfect mold, and what better way than to add in sheep elements to his design? The warlock having hooves as dark as obsidian for feet? Broken horns that might be mistaken for parts of his armor? Heck, even the gnarly skeletal system resulting from us combining that of a human's and a sheep's? While I am not too sure about what exactly is going on underneath his helmet, I will just assume that at least its base form resembles a mutilated black sheep's face, because of, well, Hop seeing himself as the black sheep of the family. Combined with his halberd, which I am certain would carry on from his last form to this one, this would bring the idea of a twisted sheep herder of sorts, on top of the existing themes of sacrifice that are already associated with cattle in multiple religions.

Of course, we can't go wrong with referencing him copying Leon's tactics in battle and said worship! This, too, will be a source of pain to his warlock; not only does his armor resemble draconic scales (again, Charizard), but the base of his helmet would bear the shape of Leon's beard. This also ties in to the above point of him trying to reshape his form to that of the champion's in order to achieve prestige and victory by following in his hero's footsteps, but its ultimate purpose in the end is the further erasure his form and himself; all that made Hop 'Hop'. He is constantly slicing away at his being just to fit that mold....

Yes, he also gets to keep the cape; much like his halberd, I can't see why this element of his magical boy form would not get carried over here, as it also assists with establishing the theme and desire to be like a big shot like his brother. Its red coloring would also be of nice contrast to the ashen grey or deep darkness of his armor, although it is tattered and not as magnificent as it used to be in his eyes. The armor already boosts the idea of a hero, but, combined with all of the elements from above and Hop himself going down the slippery slope, this monster right here invokes the idea of a fallen hero; bright-eyed protagonists who have become jaded over the course of their journeys or have decided to outright give up on their ideals and goals- some even opting to join the opposing side of the narrative outright.

I should also mention his inability to look at Leon in the face and how he didn't want negative attention to be drawn towards him in spite of Hop's desire to face off against his brother- some eye trauma, maybe? Would the mementos of Leon in his barrier bring him pain? Or...would the warlock be unable to see past the "glory" of the champion and his dreams? How his mistakes are blinding him? Maybe what he saw was so bright, so brilliant, that it blinded him to everything else; turning his eyes into burning pools of blood resembling molten steel?

Now, we calculate his karmic potential, his emotional volatility, and how they contribute to his warlock's strength.

While I was first working on this post, I thought that maybe he would have cracked after he had lost against the gym leader of Circhester Stadium - Melony -; after all, he must have been devastated, with all these eyes watching him as his final pokemon fell, but then I remembered two key details-

His self-esteem did not get any better by the end of the game's main storyline. In fact, it was at its lowest during postgame- and he even brought a comically large shovel to dig wayyyyy deeper, courtesy of Sordward and Shielbert!

His karmic potential not only stems from him being the champion's little brother, but his role in stopping the second Darkest Day.

So, in a way, that loss would be considered to be more of a catalyst for his despair rather than the straw that broke the camel's back, not unlike Sayaka learning the truth behind the soul gems or Hitomi's confession to Kyosuke. He may have brought Dubwool back to his party, he may have appeared okay-ish after we've defeated him in the semi-finals, he may have helped us save the day, but his internal conflict didn't dissolve just like that- you cannot erase all these years of constant comparisons, long-standing dreams, horrible impostor syndrome, and such an inferiority complex just like that with the snap of one's fingers.

Truth be told, he was supposed to finally give in after said semi-finals, but, out of urgency, he held on just for a little while- for just enough time to assist us with finding Leon and stopping Rose's plans. Now that everything was said and done - now that everything was laid to rest -, the eyes just wouldn't stop staring at him, the whispers didn't cease, and Hop...he was tired- he was oh so tired. Falling on his shaky legs and the harsh thoughts in his heads still not slowing down, Hop had finally closed his eyes and gave out his final farewell...

Also, Sordward and Shielbert will die by my hands for making his self esteem go further down the toilet in postgame, I swear to Allah-

From all that, we can see that not only are legends, prophecies, and destinies HUGE themes for when it comes to the design of his barrier, but that his warlock is gonna be powerful. Now, I don't wanna be redundant by saying that he, too, would be as tough as Walpurgisnacht (we've already done that with Medic, though, after thinking about it, he'd be more comparable to Hyades Daybreak), but saving an entire region is, putting it lightly, a huge feat, and that's without us touching upon his supposed connection with the legendary pokemon, one of Galar's heroes of myth, Zacian. In between being tied to almost a hundred destinies (Madoka) and saving the entirety of France (Tart), putting an end to the apocalypse - The Darkest Day - has got to be up there.

I know this sounds like a sort of repetition on my end, but remember what Homura said back during episode 9; "from here on, for every person (one) has saved, (they) will curse another". So, while Medic got his powers thanks of a combination of his own karma and how he had fused 8 other souls into him, Hop's karma was all his. In short, by this logic, Galar is beyond fucked.

Oh, and, y'know, the whole deal with him being the champion's little brother and Gloria's childhood friend. With all that in mind, bro's warlock is not just stupidly powerful, but outright broken. Not at Ultimate!Kriemhild levels, but that's still not good news in of itself, isn't it?

In the end, whether he had completely given up after he had lost to Melony or during some time between the events of the main story and postgame is up to you and your interpretation of Hop as a character. For the sake of this segment alone, I will just go with the idea that, if he despairs before the climax of the main story, his warlock would be a formidable foe, but not yet a world-ending threat like either Walpurgisnacht or Crépuscule de La Reine.

For comparison's sake (and to paint a clearer picture), I'd say that he could be as powerful as Gisela, if not moreso. From the PSP games, we can see how resilient and tough that witch is - so much so that she is tied to both Mami's and Kyoko's backstories -, so surpassing her strength is still a commendable feat. Much like his depiction in the section above, the warlock would still be capable of cursing many stadiums at once and cause such intense panic in order to take the league challenge down with him by making the contestants to go completely berserk, and, if he so wishes, he could render an entire village into ash.

However, if you guys wouldn't mind, I'll still be running with the idea that, thanks to the player, Bede, Sordward, Shieldbert, his family, and Galar's corrupted celebrity culture, the entire region has yet another apocalyptic event to go through, and only Arceus could save them now- basically what happens during the above despair segment. Good job, everyone! Enjoy listening to Grass Skirt Chase while ya could! /j

Now that we got the basic picture of the warlock down, let's cut to the chase and dive in to his barrier. I've had a lot of fun with this one, so buckle up!

As I already mentioned in my previous Medic post, a witch's labyrinth is stated to be the "mental landscape of the magi before they turned into a witch". From analyzing the barriers of the Holy Quintet and the other existing witches from the original anime, I've already deduced that they must be tied to either core memories, coping mechanisms, or desires-

HOWEVER,

A more simplistic take on all that would be "a place that rubs salt on the magi's/witch's wounds"; makes more sense, no? Candeloro is forever alone in her little tea party, Charlotte is in a silent conversation with another doll- unable to speak about what's on her mind, and, for goodness' sake, Ophelia's barrier is underwater. It is just logical to see that a labyrinth is designed to keep the witch miserable; specifically made to remind them of their own shortcomings, mistakes, broken hopes and dreams, and all that they've lost by the act of contracting with an uncaring trickster like Kyubey.

Unsurprisingly, with this idea in mind, I think the barrier would be a twisted version of a stadium, lit up by raging fire. The audience is present; their eyes ever-staring at you as their yells echo throughout the arena. You just know that your actions and failures will be recorded for future generations to see, mock, and spit at- after all, you are now trapped in a legend that is yet to be completed! Yes, even the style of your surroundings looks like it could fit right in an old storybook or any of the murals present across the region. Not too far away from this labyrinth's center, you are able to find multiple cages housing the victims he had captured; fighters worthy enough for him to test his skills on or put on a spectacle for all the audience to see.

In the middle of the battlefield, in the shadow of a large statue behind him, lies the warlock; broken, battered, burnt, and practically melting, but his duty remains clear as daylight- bound to his punishment and his own selfish desires, it has become his goal to defeat you before the audience. It is his destiny to be bound to this stage, having to pay for the sin of his existence.

The trinkets of Leon - or a silhouette that resembles him - that surrounded him in his own house are also present; after all, they are tied to his motivation, admiration towards Lee, and his wish to become champion. Even until now, the warlock and his familiars take good care of them, though he despises the reflection cast by them.

I should also make a quiiiiiiick note Pokemon Masters EX; you see, upon activating a character's sync move, they are displayed in front of locations present in the canon of Pokemon known as their "mindscapes", and, fellas, upon finding out that said places are significant to each person's story and life one way or another, I've realized that I have stumbled upon a hail Mary for PMMM/Pokemon crossover fanatics out there, myself included. Of course, I wouldn't recommend using these mindscapes alone as a sort of easy way to make barriers, but they do act as nifty, optional blueprints or spices to make those labyrinths look more colorful or representative of these characters.

When it comes to Hop, his mindscape, unsurprisingly, depicts Postwick Town. The location doesn't change when he becomes a Neo Champion, with the only alterations made to the artwork is that it is now nighttime and the presence of small flickers of flames dancing around; burning as brightly as the stars above - one more point towards fire being a persistent theme here -. Perhaps if you've gained enough of an upper hand and luck in battle to grant you some time to look at the ground, you can see that there's specks of white paint that faded away with time; the surface still resembling that of a soccer field's to this day, not unlike the one in his backyard.

To reflect his mental state and emotions of worthlessness and futility prior to him crossing over the point of no return, well, here's where the fun and pain come in-

The halls of the labyrinth are...suffocating; as soon as you enter, you realize that the area is only wide enough for a single person to traverse through. It's so dark, too; only the oil lamps and unmaintained lanterns present provide any form of luminescence, and even then, you have to be careful; one small misstep, and it is you who will be up in flames.

You also get the sinking feeling that you are being watched through the cracks and holes of suffocating halls; a feeling exemplified by the sounds of rain and howling winds just outside. The oil lamps do nothing to alleviate the bone-biting cold around you- the warmth provided is minimal at best. Not too far away, peculiarly enough, you can hear what must sound like...a radio; the details of what is being said is unclear, but the language is actually understandable if you happen to know Arabic. Through static and compressed sounds, you can hear that the voice on the radio is...reciting a nasheed; one chanting about the light of honor, victory, and divine heroism in the face of adversity, with determination being a repeated theme peppered in. No matter which hallway you turn towards, you cannot seem to get any closer to the source of the sound.

As you make your way to the center of the barrier, in spite of the lack of windows present, you decide to be a little brave and take a peak through the torn cloth or any of the cracks on the wall; you find that not only are you not at all far away from the hallway you've already visited, but that you appear to be going down a spiral- but this can't be possible! It is like you've done nothing but repeating the same steps over and over, only for your determination and desires to bring you down...

The winds have gotten louder - clashing with the noise present in the halls -, and your legs feel so tired...

You cannot take it anymore. You finally deduce that, if you want to face off against the warlock right then and there, then you better take a nosedive; break through the halls and descend further and further until you reach the arena, and face off against a furious gladiator- angered and heartbroken by the prospect of you destroying these mementos. How could you?! Such an act is beyond heinous in his eyes! You are no honorable opponent like the rest of them- nay, he is here to strike you down, to restore and clear the champion's name...

To rub salt on his wound a little more, let's add in more references to the people who affected Hop's life- those who have sent him down a spiral, whether consciously or not.

At the end of some of these hallways, you can find shrines that are clearly meant for worship; moreso than the memorabilia that are already present. A large statue rests in the middle of it, surrounded by worn pictures depicting a silhouette of a man and damaged, worn-out books and scrolls. The scent of smoke is present, alongside ashes on the ground; the warlock or one of his familiars must have been near the shrine not too long ago.

Some parts of the halls, namely what items made of organic material like cloth, are clearly damaged- whether caused by burns, cuts, or, most strangely of all, moths. The bothersome nature of these little creatures not only represent Bede tearing apart at his self-worth, but also his reliance on Chairman Rose- such a depiction may symbolize his actions and words' effects on Hop's self-image and life, but it also acts as a subconscious, final "fuck you" to white-haired youth; at the end of the day, Bede is just an unwanted, insignificant insect who gravitates towards any source of light while causing great disaster to others, even at the detriment of his own life.

...but...isn't that what you have cursed yourself into, Hop? Having to prove yourself to someone who is so far away for all eternity? To mimic them? All for a part of their attention and approval- much less a sliver?

They have both locked themselves in a cycle of attempting to appease to someone in their lives at the detriment of their own health...

Upon his defeat, once the crowd cheers at his defeat, the walls will crumble, and the debris will crush and pierce the warlock - whether he was still alive or dead by then - as you finally get a look at the outside world... Rolling hills that span for miles greet your vision as the grey, rainy skies conceal the afternoon sunlight- but it still is brighter than the suffocating arena and its connected halls. Not too far away, you are able to spot a windmill, still going on for what seems like several vicious years, if its poor state was any sign. Ah, if not for the chaos around you, the flickering silhouettes of round sheep in the distance and the smell of grass and rain really makes it feel like you're right back home...back in Postwick...

To end all this on a high note, let's touch upon his witch's kiss/warlock's whisper/evil cutie mark. Thankfully, I got it as soon as I could; one of those old emblems that acted as tickets to a gladiator match depicting a simplified sheep's head! To add some freakiness, the sheep face is stripped to the bone on one half, and glaring right at the person looking at it on the other. A circle of hop flowers surround the disfigured head, and the emblem itself appears to be half-melting.

-Witch Card-

Sayf Al-Muharib. The Gladiator warlock, whose nature is admiration. The light of an old hero's glory - eternally out of his reach - had caused his sight to turn into searing, painful ichor; blinding him to all but his own failures and shortcomings. As penance for the sin of his existence and weakness, the warlock is in a constant state of breaking down, melting, and reforging himself whilst in preparation for his next battle in the hopes of searing away all the flaws in him - all that lead him to his incriminating mistakes - and achieve a perfect form. He is unable to recognize the being beneath his armor anymore, nor could he remember the vision he had prior to his entrancement.

The cries and cheers of his familiars herald another chance for the warlock to prove himself and absolve the legacy of his hero once and for all- but, no matter what, the crowd is never satisfied, and neither will he ever feel proud of himself for the victory. He will never be an inch closer to the light of legend he craves so badly. To emerge from the battlefield victorious, one must not lose sight of their promise in the midst of battle.

(His name is inspired by Sayf bin Omar/سيف بن عمر, a Muslim historian and compiler. It should also be of note that the reliability of Sayf's ahadeeth have been a point of controversy to this day. When translated, the warlock's full name means "The warrior's sword".)

(The fact that his first name literally means "sword" bears two meanings depending on the protagonist- if it's Gloria, then it reflects how he tags along with and respects her though he is seen as incomplete without her presence in the eyes of the rest; while if it's Victor, then it's the clash between their friendly rivalry and his growing respect towards him. Either way, it also symbolizes how the MC stole his spotlight and destiny, and how they broke him and his dream apart throughout their journey.)

(Also, Homura fits the criteria needed to defeat him, let's GOOOOOOO-)

-Familiars-

Batel (plural form: Abatil). The gladiator warlock's minion, whose duty is preservation. A scholar at heart, the warlock analyzes the actions of the hero of legend to learn from them for future endeavors. Prioritizing the opulence and safety of these treasures, these small followers of his are on constant lookout for anything that would posses a danger to these sacred masterpieces while archiving the feats of the champion for future re-readings.

Unfortunately, their master despises the reflection cast on the memorabilia; forever reminding him of what he will never become. He will hang his head down in their presence out of both respect and shame, lest the sight of the failure he had become shatter what was left of his original heart once more.

(Symbolizing Hop's knowledge of battling in general; jokes about type advantages aside, he was always analyzing Lee's battles and was eager to use his knowledge during battles. It's also one of the key reasons as to why he chose to become a professor in the end.)

(Yes, the warlock himself also does his job at chronicling the feats of Leon - even going as far as to imitate them to this day -, but not only are the Batels there to assist him (I mean, they are his familiars), but they also sort of symbolize how...exaggerated Leon's achievements can get, especially in the eyes of others- including Hop's.)

(Its name is a play on words in Arabic; "Batal/بطل" means "Hero", but "Batil/باطل" can either mean "of no good use" or "useless". Leon was the hero, his hero, his ideal- Hop, on the other hand, was just dead weight to him.)

(Another note to add is that Hop's uniform number is 189, which, when read in Japanese, can mean "Hiyaku"; leaping. While the warlock himself would be struggling to walk with these hooves of his and his mutilated form melting and meshing with the armor, I can also see that the Abatil's only way of moving around is through leaping, since they would probably have only one leg to stand on. Ah, I love the smell of symbolism in the morning.)

-

Al-Daja (plural form: Al-Dajij). The gladiator warlock's minion, whose duty is to uphold competition. Ever-so excited for the upcoming battle, the crowd will explode into applauds whenever a new victim enters the stadium and comes face-to-face with their master. Their never-ceasing cheers always demand for more, and, not wanting their wide, unblinking eyes to stare at all his faults and mistakes, the warlock complies.

The warlock will try and not show a sign of degradation to his opponent- he'll hold out until they sing songs of his glory and his story gets passed down from generation to generation. However, these minions will often times become so entranced with the relics and spectacle that they would forget the identity of their master altogether, and even start cheering for the new challenger once the warlock is thrown into a corner.

(Based on Hop's personal drive - to become as glorious and powerful as the unbeatable champion himself -, how the losses have been affecting him, and him not wanting what negative attention he garnered along the way to affect Leon directly. The audience can be quite the chatterboxes; all it takes is one small piece of gossip for everything to go out of control. Its name, ألضجة, means "The Noise".)

(They also symbolize how everyone else already act around him all thanks to his brother's legacy- looking down on him for every little mistake he makes, while each victory earns him another comparison to Leon. He doesn't want to disappoint them- not the crowds, not his friends, not his family, and not himself, so he carries on with his useless endeavor; constantly chasing after a dream that is so far from his reach. The fact that this familiar is prone to forgetting who they are serving exactly is indicative of Hop forgetting himself.)

-Inspirations-

In-canon:

Sacrificing aspects of himself just to come close to that aforementioned ideal; going as far as to remove his lifelong friend, Wooloo, from his team

Trophies and other memorabilia of his brother being found in their home- almost no mementos of Hop being found there

Corviknight, one of the 'mons he gigantamaxes upon the release of the DLCs (the other is his starter pokemon, which I will assume is Scorbunny)

The fact that he is evidently Arab/Muslim-coded, especially in the French translation of the games where his name is Nabil (fun fact, Raihan is also an already-Arab name)

The third episode of Pokemon: Twilight Wings

Dubwool being able to learn a fuck ton of self-destructive moves

The statue of the Hero of Galar in Wyndon (Motostoke in the anime)

Outside Influences:

The Sealed Vessel from Hollow Knight and their theme; actually, wanna bet that he is trapped in a similar manner as they were if we were to assume that his power is equal to Isabeau's? That he has been gathering power from the mass hysteria resulting from his influence over the stadiums?

How sheep, lambs, and goats are associated with sacrifice, slaughter, deceit, and rituals (to tie the aforementioned wooloo/dubwool and self-abandonment points mentioned earlier)

The golden calf

The fact that some gladiators were prisoners and had to fight and put on a spectacle in order to regain their freedom

nana825763's "My house walk-through"

That one segment from Valle Verde part 2 which starts at around the 3:58 mark

The Devil Within by Digital Daggers (not my dumb ass imagining an animatic in which Bede is this warlock's first victim)

Cause of my Death by Itoki Hana

Dolus Vel Pedica, Area Strigae, and Delusio Summa from the Madoka Magica PSP game

The concept of living armor, but with added body horror

-Closing Statements-

Phew! Well, thank GOD this didn't take as much time as Medic's warlock did! (unless if we count my sick days- then yeah, it took just as much) To say that this was a WILD ride would be the understatement of the century!

I wanted to nail the vibe the witches had before we, as the audience, learned the truth about their origins - that he must have been born out of competition and the impostor syndrome that comes with such high-stakes contests -, and the idea that he, Sayf, was vengeful not just towards the leagues and the people who had beaten Hop while he was down, but also towards himself. I am unsure of whether or not I've completely succeeded on that front, but, if you guys have better ideas and/or criticisms, please do let me know! I aim to improve my writing in general and my abilities to break down character motivations and symbolize their actions in more abstract manners.

Being Bede is suffering; his ass is getting haunted on one hand, and Leon is able to smell his fear from a mile away on the other. He's not fucking winning this, lads :'3

...With all that being said, there is one shred of information that I've been withholding until now- the final piece of the puzzle that, once we step back, paints a rather grim image of what would occur if we were to combine the worlds of Pokemon SWSH and PMMM...

Outside the league challenge, the story of SWSH tackles the eldritch origins of Dynamax/Gigantamax; that the very vessels that allowed the people of Galar to utilize it must come from the remains of the invading Pokemon, Eternatus. Its initial awakening from its 17,000 year slumber heralded the event known as the Darkest Day; in which it had absorbed so much of Galar's energy that it caused its form to change and a dark storm to envelope the region, causing the pokemon to dynamax/gigantamax and go berserk. With the emergence of said storm come what is now known as "Galar Particles"; other sources of energy that, after the defeat of this threat, were utilized by humans for generations to come; rebuilding Galar from the ground up to the region we know today.

Now, a theme that both medias apparently share here from this fact alone is "energy". In a sense, you could say that Eternatus itself acts very much like a living grief seed; absorbing "impurities" in order for its true form to "hatch" and release boundless amounts of concentrated energy that can be used in a useful manner later down the line.

So....what gives? Why is Eternatus such a key element to this concept if the focus of this post is Hop? What does that creature beyond out comprehension have to do with the one we currently have in our hands right now?

See, not only does Hop's karmic potential stem from his destiny to stop the second Darkest Day alongside the main character, but his brother was also tasked by Chairman Rose with capturing the beast and delivering it to him; this was planned out in order to solve Galar's energy crisis that was going to unfold in the next several years or so, and, though it was a hard decision, the Chairman believed that now was a better time than never. The future of Galar, in his eyes, relied on him...

Obviously, Rose's entire plan fell flat on its face, so it was up to us, our bestie, and a very gud boi an' gorl (Pokedex entries confirm Zacian is Zamazenta's older sister) to save an entire region's ass from a wicked, unfathomable threat once more, but what if things went a little differently in this timeline? Obviously, one of the heroes who was supposed to assist/had assisted Gloria fell into despair and became the next world-ending threat she's going to have to put down, but what if this wasn't the only deviation from the norm here?

After all, Rose wasn't the only one who had sought out the means to prevent and remedy a sort of entropy issue at any cost necessary...

[yuukei-yikes]

the good ending of kagerou project! EXPLAINED :3

hello kagebody. no one asked for this but i felt like talking about it for 2 reasons. 1. it seems like a lot of people DONT KNOW kagepro has a good ending. it does. in september, summertime record will have been out for 10 years. 2. i felt like talking about it cuz i love kagepro :3

as we know kagepro’s big characteristic is, it’s complicated and deals with inconsistencies and already convoluted concepts, it’s also written by 1 guy across different types of media in the course of many years. that’s to say let’s not shit on it for being complicated let’s love it for it. also to say... some of what i will explain contains MY OWN interpretation based on what we are presented. because what we are presented with is Not in anyway clear.

okay. the good ending of kagerou project appears in THE ANIME. the novels and the manga contain doomed routes that end in resetting. the songs contain endless routes, but it also contains SUMMERTIME RECORD. that is a good ending, though it has no hiyori or ayano. nor an explanation. but the actual Good ending we all go by, AND the official post str content (lost day hour comic released in 2018) also goes by, is the ending of the anime. that’s what i will be talking about!

kagepro isn’t a stranger to plot holes. but the way it gets a good ending is essentially, there’s a HUGE important change from usual routes. which is saeru not killing everyone. for anyone who doesn’t know saeru is clearing eyes. clearing eyes is the snake possessing kenjirou and later konoha/haruka’s body. “kuroha”, for the golden years kagepro fans.

usually, saeru just shows up, kills everyone, forces mary to reset. the big big BIG thing with the good ending is.... saeru doesn’t kill anyone. let’s go over why saeru even kills everyone in the first place. it wants to create a new medusa and end the world basically: the dan possess snakes, their eye powers, and when they’re killed, they release the snakes, giving them back to mary. mary possesses COMBINING EYES. this is the eye power that makes her float and get the short hair. she is given this power when she passes away with her mother shion, while she possesses locking eyes since birth.

so, when the dan dies, mary gets all their snakes and Combines them, activating Combining Eyes, which she can use to reset the world and also control the daze, meaning she can merge the two worlds (what saeru wants her to do) (this would end the world), and also open it and close it.

so, in the kagepro good ending, saeru doesn’t kill the dan. yet mary is able to activate combining anyway. this is something i really like, though it needs a lot of Filling It In Yourself for it to make sense.

the anime shows the snakes leaving the dan members’ bodies when mary starts activating combining, and the dan doesn’t immediately die from getting their snakes taken away. we could argue they’re all weak and on the ground is bc saeru just kinda punched everyone across the room, not because mary took their snakes, BUT i like the idea that it’s mary slowly killing them herself through taking their snakes. i think it speaks to how high the stakes were, and how obsolete resetting was getting. the routes were getting inconsistent to a point where mary herself is killing her friends, not saeru, through her despair of keeping them alive and resorting to restart so she doesn’t have to deal with what’s going on. this can also be about a deeper motive of mary’s, which is that even if they all survive, she will lose them to old age eventually. restarting, she can avoid this fate. it also makes sense, because saeru CAN remember resets and mary CAN’T. so saeru deciding not to kill the dan this time can also speak of how wicked saeru is, maybe getting confident in what it’s doing, and manipulating mary into it like it’s been doing but this time forcing her to be the one to kill.

moving on: in this window of time where the dan is slowly dying and mary’s about to reset, she also opens the daze, which is when shintaro and ayano show up. earlier, shintaro had killed himself because retaining eyes, shintaro’s eye power, had been activated, and he knew he had to go to the daze. that’s the scene he goes get ayano and together go see haruka. SO. when mary opens the daze, shintaro and ayano walk right out of there, ayano having been there for 2 years and shintaro having been there for erm, 1 hour or something.

here’s when we’re all like yeah shintaro&ayano come save the day!! what shintaro and ayano do is use a combo of their eye powers. they go through a plan they made countless routes ago. shintaro’s power is retaining, he was born with it. retaining is a snake fabricated by mary herself in another route. this snake is also an ayano from another route who sacrificed herself to become shintaro’s eye power. isn’t that fun. SO, what retaining does is remember past routes, so when shintaro activates her he immediately Knows everything. ayano’s power is favoring, The Empath power. she can transmit thoughts, memories, emotions. and then they play a game of telephone: shintaro’s knowledge of the resets existing goes to ayano, and then ayano transmits them to mary.

mary, now being aware of what she’s doing and what she HAS been doing, doesn’t reset, shitting all over saeru’s plans who is beginning to despair and start acting pathetic. now here’s when we’re all like omg the power of friendship solved the rest. NO!!!!

now here’s my... personal interpretation to a huge part of it. mca is Very unclear. but basically: haruka and konoha are actually the ones to save the day, not shintaro and ayano. shintaro&ayano are keeping mary from resetting, but they aren’t FIXING the issue that is making mary reset in the first place which is this GUY TRYING TO KILL EVERYONE. despite everything saeru is STILL HERE, STILL IN HARUKA/KONOHA’S BODY.

mary temporarily takes everyone to the daze. no one is dead, theyre just There. who else is in the daze. haruka’s cute little spirit!!! while saeru is kicking and screaming about the route differing and the power of friendship getting a little strong, it’s finally acknowledged that despite saeru is in a hostless body, this body still has an owner, and as of late, it’s got owner(S). through its time in haruka’s body, awakening eyes/konoha became its own person. being its own person, it’s got the right for a wish. saeru is the very snake that grants all those fucked up wishes.

saeru, while possessing kenjirou, alienated its plans with kenjirou’s wish of seeing ayaka again. because it needs a wish to function. kenjirou’s wish was perfect for what saeru wanted, since ayaka was in the daze, seeing her again implied opening it which implied killing everyone. easy. but now saeru jumped from kenjirou’s body to haruka/konoha’s, and these 2 souls have very different, individual wishes that saeru is now forced to face: haruka reclaims his own body. and konoha wants hiyori to live.

for haruka, his wish had been ignored since the beginning, it’s the one that was the most twisted of all (u want a strong body? ok u didn’t say u wanted to be IN the body, right?) so, saeru is forced to grant this wish finally and is forced out of the body and puts haruka back in it. for konoha, saeru is forced to be a surrogate life to hiyori. haruka, being the original host, is now alive, and awakening eyes/konoha, is within him, playing the role of an eye power it was always meant to play. meanwhile, hiyori also gets to get out of the daze alive, through the forced “sacrifice” of clearing eyes. this serves a very interesting bit for hiyori since she possesses power over the most fucked up snake of all but that’s for post str headcanons sweetness.

basically! mary activates combining and opens the daze, letting out shintaro&ayano who are like stop🛑 do not reset. instead they all go to the daze where haruka is like💖GIVE ME MY BODY BACK to saeru. also allowing awakening eyes/konoha a moment of control again to be like hi. i am also person now and i have a wish as well and my wish is that hiyori lives :3

so, saeru’s gone, haruka&hiyori are alive (+ayano, whose death has always been a plothole that ignores the rules of the daze, so to keep it on theme her survival also has no real basis+shintaro, whose death earlier also made little sense but they get to walk out for protagonists privileges), they get out the daze and mary gives back all the snakes so no one dies. hurray!

bc of all this, the mekakushi dan is alive, members from 0 to 10. they do get a happy ending. ....but we could also say it was the power of friendship. that works too!

[lady-of-endless]

Ghiaccio x reader romantic headcanons (SFW+NSFW)

Author's Note: I'm so soft after this, it's pathetic. You voted for this to get posted first so here it is. Sorry that it's all over the place but so is my heart. Hope you will enjoy it! Warning: longer than my usual posts because I love him.

(SFW)

- He doesn't have a type, he doesn't care if you're a ray of sunshine or a badass. All he cares about is trust and if you can stick with him and his harsh exterior when everything goes wrong. However, if you are also a Passione assassin like him, things will go more smoothly than having feelings for some outside of the mafia. He already thinks that having feelings for someone is a double-edged blade because of his occupation but it would be even worse if you're not in Passione as it can endanger both of you more.

- Ghiaccio generally feels a lot. He goes through many emotions and thoughts at once, and that's why he needs to lash out so often. But when it comes to feelings about you, they're so contradicting that he can't even get rid of them by letting them out at once. For example, he rolls his eyes at your antics and then the next minute he stares at your smile like it's the cure for anything in this world. You're both the bane of his existence and his personalized paradise. Ghiaccio isn't the type to be confused about his feelings, contrary to the general belief, he knows the meaning of his feelings. However, he prefers not to think about why he wants your presence, as it might trigger something he knows exists deep inside him. A complicated feeling.

- You will have to be the first one to confess. When you do, Ghiaccio's whole body freezes (and not because of his Stand). He stares at you in disbelief and a slight hint of terror crosses his eyes. Why terror? Because he realizes that he was falling for you too for long before. He craves this kind of happiness but he is also scared of it. He lets your words sink in for a while.

"Say it again..." He demands, staring at you.

- He loves that you can stand up against him when he teases you as a form of affection he's comfortable with but he can't get rid of a constant thought from the back of his mind. The thought that one day, his words would hurt you, that one day you'll get sick of him being like that.

- Ghiaccio doesn't fall in love easily but when he reaches that point, his intensity is directed to this new feeling. Expect his love to be intense but profound and honest. He didn't get the chance to care for someone so deeply and he wants to do it right.

- If you ever get severely injured and you're recovering, no one will get him to leave your bedside. When he first finds you like that, he will shake you by the shoulders, calling out your name with palpable despair in his tone. He will stay by your side constantly, demanding more coffee from Melone and a break from any mission from Risotto, only to watch over you. It's unhealthy and he will deny everything once you get better. The thought of losing the one who accepts, understands, and loves him, makes him sick with worry.

- Typical ice meets fire trope, but not as you think. Ghiaccio is all about ice, even his name means that, sure, but he has fire inside of him that keeps him going, keeps him on the edge every time. It's a fire that matches your calmness which is grounding for him. Sometimes, the roles switch, so there will always be a contrast.

- Ghiaccio is extremely honest and it's both a blessing and a curse. Sometimes this will spark some arguments and sometimes it will fix them by being honest about his thoughts. His words are straightforward and his intentions are clear. He's not trying to be subtle and he's not trying to hide anything.

- Ghiaccio is not afraid of showing affection, he's not a coward, but he's just learning how to express it more efficiently. He's analytical and this applies to gestures of affection as well, he'll take his time to observe what you like the most and what you don't. Please be grateful for that.

- However, whatever you might like, his preferred love language is banter and physical touch, in private. He is a blunt man, but that doesn't mean he's extroverted to have words of affirmation as a love language. Don't expect compliments from him but don't be surprised when he encourages you in a way that might come off as intense.

You might be frowning in the mirror, fixing your looks, and he'll come from behind you to tell you in an annoyed tone

"You're already pretty as hell stop fussing about it for fucks sake." and then roll his eyes and give you a kiss on the forehead.

But that's it, don't expect more words from him. Ghiaccio is also touch-starved because no one dared get close enough to him to touch him affectionately so when you do, he finds himself wanting more. But he's also curious about how it feels to touch someone like that and that's how it starts. He discovers that he enjoys giving it more, the feeling, your reactions, and everything about it.

- How do others see it? Many don't see a change in his usual behavior besides the fact that he always glances over you for many reasons. Risotto is presenting a mission? Ghiaccio looks at you for a reaction. Are you fighting a target? His eyes are on you. You do your usual stuff around? He's observing you. Are you not feeling well? His eyes follow you until you two are alone and he asks what's wrong. In conclusion, he gets more thoughtful.

(NSFW)

- Ghiaccio is quick to discover that getting intimate with you clears his mind and gets him sharper. Letting out his strongest and boldest emotions with you, the one he trusts the most and loves, clears his mind. It's just an observation, he already enjoys getting physical with you too much to care for other benefits.

- He's touch-starved, so he's relatively easy to fluster and he hates that. It doesn't take a lot for you to turn him on. One day, you notice that the lenses of his glasses are a bit dirty and feel bold enough to do something about it. If you decide to just take them off without warning and wipe the lenses casually like nothing happened, he's shocked. This audacity of yours gets him bewitched. So, Ghiaccio is a simple man regarding turn-ons, just show him that you care about those little things about him and show some willingness to take risks and he's done.

- His hair is unexpectedly sensitive. Play with his curls and it will make him shiver. He'll become all yours in that moment.

- Despite what everyone thinks, he'll never accept letting his anger out on you in bed. But that doesn't mean that his mannerisms will be soft either. With Ghiaccio, is hard to predict how it will go. Most of the time it will be rough but also slow and deep.

- He's a genuine switch but leading to dom. He is fine with you taking the lead from time to time but having control over you is much more appealing. He enjoys being a brat tamer but he's also a whining brat.

- He has a ridiculously high stamina. Seriously, where does he store all this strength? He's also motivated. Seeing you frowning a bit when you move your legs the next day is stroking his ego.

- So, because Ghiaccio is intense in bed too, aftercare is a must. Aftercare consists of him putting your pieces back together by throwing a blanket over you, making you tea, and holding you to his chest as he stares at the ceiling (don't worry, it's a good sign, you blew him away). However, shortly after that, he's knocked out, getting the best sleep of his life.

- He doesn't leave marks on purpose but he just can't help it. Surprising enough, he's not as possessive as you'd expect, to leave marks to show that you're his. No. Ghiaccio just enjoys hearing your gasp coming from the bathroom as you notice the aftermath of his desire. He smirks to himself like a brat.

He might be a fan of quickies and he's also the one to come up with the idea. After the session, he goes on with whatever he had to get done like he hadn't destroyed you earlier. It's both hot and annoying.

- Vocal, of course, a lot of grunting, and growling. It goes hand in hand with his primal tendencies. You'll get used to the consensual biting, hair-pulling, pushing down. He lives for raw passion when it gets too much to handle.

- Any kinks? Temperature play is something you already expect him to enjoy. For him, it's about how ice - something that has been in his life for years since he got his Stand, meets an element of you - your warm skin. Besides your reactions, he is hypnotized by how the heat of your skin melts the ice and how dewy it looks afterward. Other than that he's not very experimental because his almost aggressive passion is enough.

- Of course, he takes off his glasses but he hates that because his point of view gets blurry, and can't enjoy your details. However, you can't be able to stop him from wearing them when you're on top. That's a sight he needs to see clearly.

[ludiharambasha]

Hello everyone!

Sorry for being inactive in the last couple of days.

A dear friend of my cousin needs help to get her family evacuated from Gaza. Down below is a gofundme link. If you can help, please do so, it would be very much appreciated. Just sharing this post would also mean a lot.

Here is Tasnim's letter.

"Dear compassionate souls,

I come to you with a plea from the depths of my heart, a plea for compassion, empathy, and the chance for a family to reclaim their shattered dreams amidst the relentless chaos of war.

My beloved sister, Nour Thabit, a dedicated English teacher and a devoted mother, along with her husband who runs a small electronics business, and their three precious children, have been engulfed in the horrors of the ongoing attacks happening in Gaza. They have seen their home reduced to rubble, their livelihoods snatched away, and their hopes and aspirations torn apart by the merciless hands of war.

Hadi, the eldest at only six years old, was filled with the innocent excitement of starting school, which he only got to experience for one month. He now only dreams of a life far away from the deafening echoes of bombs and screams of children under the rubble; a life where he could live his dream of riding horses like he used to do, on the shores of Gaza.

"I miss you, please take me away from here!" - the last sentence I heard from Hadi, on a rare occasion when I am able to reach my family since internet and electircity are cut off. Each time I do hear from them I can hear the terror and the trauma in their voice even though they are trying so hard to stay strong and not let it show.

Amr, at four years old, used to revel in the joy of playing football and the simple pleasures of kindergarten, until the sounds of violence forced him to flee, leaving behind his beloved activities and the safety of routine.

And sweet Julia, just two years old, now battles the cruel grip of waterborne illness, a consequence of being deprived of very basic necessities like clean water which my family got deprived off for more than 4 months now.

Their journey has been one of unfathomable trauma and loss. Moving from place to place, seeking refuge in a world where safety feels like a distant memory, they have witnessed horrors no family should ever endure. My sister tried all in her powers to shield her children's innocence, shattered by the brutal reality of death and destruction that surrounds them; she was even coming up with comforting lies about sounds of bombings being fireworks. But it soon became impossible to build any sort of illusion of safety since my sister and her family witnessed people dying before their eyes.

My heart aches as I witness their struggle, for there is no refuge left to seek. They live now in a makeshift tent, devoid of the most basic necessities, their health deteriorating with each passing day.

But amidst the despair, there glimmers a fragile hope. A chance to escape the nightmare they find themselves trapped in, a chance to rebuild their shattered lives and reclaim the dreams that once filled their hearts with joy.

Yet, this chance comes at a cost. A fee of $8000 stands between them and the border to safety, a seemingly insurmountable obstacle in their path to freedom and peace. The only way to cross the border with Egypt is to pay this fee at the checkpoint. The rest of my family is also still in Gaza but we are hoping we can at least save the kids, and with heavy heart we are making this type of prioritizing. No one should have to make choices like this. My whole family was stripped out of everything which is why there will be additional costs to cover up for the traveling and living expenses during the travels. Their only hope right now is to reach the safety of Canada where they can recieve further help from our relatives who migrated there and a chance to rebuild their lives.

So, I humbly implore you, dear friends, to open your hearts and extend a helping hand to my sister and her family. Let us come together in solidarity, in kindness, and in the unwavering belief that humanity still exists in this world. Every contibution counts. Even if you are not able to help financially, please share our story.

Let us give them the chance they so desperately deserve, to find peace, to heal, and to build a future filled with hope and possibility.

With deepest gratitude and endless hope,

Tasnim Atia

p.s.

Since I don't have a bank account in a "gofundme" eligible country, your generous contributions will be safely managed and distributed to my sister's family through the trusted hands of my dear friend, Milena, whose family (living in the UK) have graciously offered their assistance in ensuring that every donation reaches its intended recipients promptly and securely. Your support will directly impact the lives of my sister, her husband, and their three children, providing them with the means to escape the horrors of war and rebuild their shattered lives. Thank you for entrusting us with your kindness and compassion. Together, we can make a difference."

[couldawouldashoulda50]

The Distance and the Time Between Us

A/N: So this is my attempt at writing my very first series involving William Nylander.

Overall, it is more or less a “right place, right person, wrong time” type of storyline.  The fem reader grew up outside of Toronto and is gifted in all things music.  She’s had world-wide success as part of a band as well as a stellar solo career.  She’s been bestowed with absolute (perfect) pitch and has been categorized as one of the best singers/musician/songwriters of recent time.

Where it was suitable, I have tried to be accurate with various facts but I will at certain points be changing reality around to aid in the story.  I guess that’s the beauty of fiction; you can snap your fingers and make it so, no matter what it is.

Not to sound like I’m accepting an Ocscar, but I wanted to thank @leafs-lover and @spine-buster for interacting so kindly with me as a newcomer to this space, and for reading through the first iterations of my thoughts blurted out onto the page.   

Not to beat this to death, but I’m still figuring out Tumblr so hopefully I won’t make a giant mess of things as I post each new segment.  

Warnings - allusions to sex, swearing, end of a relationship, I think that’s it

Word Count - 3.8k

----------------------

September, 2021

The end of the evening hits differently than you thought it would.  

A few hours ago, up on the bandshell stage with your bandmates, Brandon (the guitarist, alongside you, and vocals), announced to the audience that you and the band were taking a step back from performing, recording and touring.  For the past decade (give or take), the band that you co-founded with Brandon had achieved remarkable success along with fame and fortune.  You all had far exceeded the low expectations that many had when you began your music careers together. 

And it was time….in fact, it was very much overdue.  

Personal lives are albeit neglected in order to reach this pinnacle of stardom and for once, you all mutually agreed that it was time to give up the rigours of a touring band and enjoy life. After all, for all that’s been sacrificed, you all deserved it.  

The other members, Maebh (bass, vocals) and Colin (drum, vocals), together had their blossoming family to look forward to.  Brandon and his partner wanted to pursue other musical interests.  There was a sense of excitement, and relief, leaving behind the pressure-cooker lifestyle that your lives had become. 

And then there was you.

In one sense, you had been dreaming of this moment for years.  Almost complete freedom from all the commitments from both your explosive solo career, and the band from which you emerged.  Until now, it had always been one more appearance, one more record, one more song, one more tour, one more interview, one more movie - year after year after year.  On the surface, you were one of the most successful and sought-after musical artists of the past 10 years.  Coupled with your band’s success, your individual success had been nothing short of magical.  The drive and determination you possessed, alongside a bit of luck and (mostly) sensibility propelled you up to and through the insanity of stardom.  You always made sure you kept grounded and were full of gratitude, always keeping your humility intact. You had become, in the eyes of the entertainment world, the epitome of grace and etiquette under such scrutiny and pressure.  

On the flipside, you have been grappling with an overwhelming sense of despair and an ache deep within that you can almost taste since the moment the band made its decision.  

Now that this last performance was in the books (and it was an incredibly successful one at that), you sit in the backseat with your sullen thoughts as your driver navigates the SUV towards your Toronto home.  You glance over to your manager, Evelyn, and choke back a sob - your throat constricts and you bite your lip to try and will back the tears that threaten to fall.  

Evelyn's typical stoic demeanour softens for a moment, and she grabs your hand; she's well aware of what has gotten you in this state.  

You return to staring out the window; your mind replaying what you’ve sacrificed for your career and the fear of the unknown with your future.

The reality is that it's not what you've sacrificed, but whom.

It was when you saw William in the crowd tonight, surrounded by peers, teammates and countless beautiful women, the pit in your stomach formed.  You weren't prepared to see him and God, he looked better than anyone should ever be allowed to.

The pit grew as you saw him singing along to the songs sung by your voice.

It grew even more as you saw his eyes fixed on you perform alongside some NHL players and other hockey notables in attendance who came up on stage to sing their favourite songs with you - clearly fueled by the liquid courage that was in abundance at the event.

The pit became virtually unbearable as you saw him laughing and dancing with a beautiful girl that was not looking like anything plutonic.  At least not in the way she was clinging onto him.

It was no small feat to get through the rest of the night, performing and interacting with the crowd as effortlessly as you did.  Trying not to focus on the thought of him being close enough to breathe the same air as you.  If you glanced his way, you forced yourself to dismiss the idea that he was often stealing glances back at you, or the notion that perhaps he might still want you as much as you clearly still wanted him. You became a master at suppressing your feelings in the past and tonight was no exception.

It had been almost two years since you last saw or heard from William.  

At the start of September of 2019, you and William found yourselves yet again in a familiar place in life; William beginning another hockey season, single, after he and his girlfriend had parted ways during the summer and you returning to your home town of Toronto to visit loved-ones after a summer of festival performances and travelling.  

Your calendar was full with invitations to many high profile events in the city and your attendance always drew quite a crowd. As usual, you were attending all of the events alone which seemed to be mercilessly pointed out by every entertainment news correspondent that lined the red carpet.  William would catch a glimpse of you on TV as they showed you arriving at a film festival party or an exclusive restaurant, and soon thereafter, you'd receive a notification from him on your phone.

That is how it always started; a few sweet and flirty text messages, then a couple of phone calls and not long after, you and William would be tangled in the sheets of either your luxurious Toronto home or at his hi-rise condo that boasted an incredible view of the city.  It was such a natural and easy existence when you were together.  As overly sugary as it might sound to most, your insides felt like there were beams of sunshine that would radiate through your body from the sheer sight of him.  Somehow, you always felt calm and at peace in his presence.

Simply put, it always felt incredible spending time with him and it always brought out the best of you.  You felt happy and it was very apparent William felt that way too.

However, true to the pattern of the past few years, you would need to leave again, having to depart mid-way through October for an unknown period of time.  You had several performances booked throughout Europe, Asia, and Australia followed by more exclusive appearances for royalty and dignitaries around the world.  Leaving William throughout the years under these same circumstances only became increasingly difficult, leaving you both heart-sick for a time afterward.  Eventually you both would bounce back and resume life without too many broken-hearted thoughts about each other swirling around in your heads.  

You and he had often discussed trying a long-distance relationship, only for you to hold firm on your initial refusal.  You had always maintained it was not fair to him to have no say or input on when you could see one another.  You felt it was too much to ask someone as young as him to have to stand by and watch everyone around him celebrate with their significant others, or be consoled by them, while he has to go it alone.  He deserved to be in a relationship where both people were utterly devoted to one another; you desperately wanted to be that person but your contract obligations just kept stacking up against you and those circumstances were out of your control.

Once you had returned to London, sitting alone in the new opulent townhome you had just bought in Knightsbridge, you had made the decision on a dreary November evening in 2019, that it was time you fought for what you wanted; the man you had fallen in love with.  

Calculating the time difference, it was nearing dinner time in Toronto on William’s day off.  Barely able to contain your excitement, you sent William a text asking him to call you.  It wasn't long before your phone rang and the familiar picture of his jersey appeared on the screen.  Your excitement quickly dissipated once you answered; it was clear from his low, soft tone that this call was not going to be a happy one.  

Before even getting to your reason for wanting to talk, you had asked if he was ok.  He paused for a torturously long period of time and said he was not.  He explained that it had become too much for him after these past few years to be on this rollercoaster of being lovers (mostly secret lovers at that), for such short moments in time, only to have to watch you leave again and again and never being certain when you’d return.  He wanted to be able to give all of himself to another and up until that point, he had quietly kept a part of his heart solely for you.  To pour salt into an open wound, he finally added that the level of celebrity you had reached was not something he felt he could handle as the pressure of being inevitably thrust into an even bigger spotlight is not what he wanted in a relationship. 

An extreme ache travelled through your body.  You felt blindsided.  Perhaps it wasn't for the reasons that William rhymed off for wanting to essentially sever ties with you, but more that you had finally succumbed to your deep feelings of love for him and now it was too late.  Your heart completely shattered from his words as the visions of your future with him disintegrated into nothingness. 

William quietly apologized, his voice barely above a whisper. He said he had to go and hung up, never giving your brain a chance to catch up or for your voice to speak.

Once the call ended, the friendship you had with him ended.  In your mind, he became an apparition - nothing more than a figment of your imagination.  

The many memories that you had of the two of you together became too much to bear and with that, you clicked into total self-preservation mode.  You no longer followed him or his siblings on any social platform.  Aside from a select few, you limited your interactions with the Maple Leafs, many of whom you had become friends with over the years along with their significant others.  You wouldn’t watch game highlights or check scores - you untethered yourself from anything to do with William.

It was not long after that painful conversation that you heard William and a previous on-again/off-again girlfriend were back together.  It was exactly what you expected, which was of little comfort.  The heartache you felt was profound and rather than giving yourself time to grieve or heal or whatever you needed to do, you allowed the loss of his existence in your life to harden you.  Save from your close friendships and your family, you no longer cared about the love aspect of a normal human life.  

Between rehearsals for your tour, you threw yourself into writing music; sitting for hours on end in your state of the art recording studio on the lower level of your home. Up until that point, you had a massive catalogue of songs that, at the very least, uplifted people.  The message of your songs had now transitioned to loss.  The record execs salivated with each song you presented - dollar bills in their eyes  given the huge music market for words rife with longing and regret.  Even the accompanying music you created held the same vibe; music that would make the hardest person want to weep.  As time went on, your songs were released under the guise of other popular singers.  The releases were wildly successful which further catapulted your reputation into the stratosphere, being deemed as one of the most talented songwriters in current time.  With all the notoriety, you found it difficult to embrace the new heights in popularity and monetary gain, given that it was all based on the inner turmoil of someone that felt as broken as you did.

There was a domino effect with shutting down the pleasure side of life; your once effervescent personality was replaced with forced smiles and you were noticeably disengaged in conversation.  The change in your demeanour didn’t go unnoticed with your circle of friends. Forever begging you to come out before you departed on the first leg of your tour, your friends tried to rally around you, nearly breaking down the double doors to your home to let them in.  

Even the rare times you relented and allowed them to drag you to all the exclusive clubs that dotted London’s Soho and other districts close by, you ended up drinking little and leaving early.  

Despite how you felt, you always looked exquisite, dressing in elegant attire that perfectly accentuated your shapely figure, and hair and makeup that were magazine worthy.  Other than writing and recording music, dressing up was one of the few things that surprisingly made you feel better, even if it was for a fleeting moment.  

The good feelings were often chased away as a result of the jeers and catcalling which inevitably started from the snobby and ill-mannered men that occupied space at each club.  What these men had in money, from their aristocratic lineage or otherwise, they lacked in every trait you valued.  If it didn’t make you feel ill first, it made you seethe with rage with their greasy, vulgar, drunken comments about what they would do to you if they got you alone.  After berating them for their tastelessness, and saying apologetic goodbyes to your friends, you would leave to go home.  The rage that coursed through your body would then dial down to frustration which would then lead to a pit of sadness.  

Washing the night off in your oversized bathtub, you started to sob.  Tears streamed down your face forming tributaries along your cheeks to your jawline before dissolving in the hot bath water.  You missed William totally and completely.  His friendship.  His laugh.  His face.  His touch. The way he felt under you or on top of you.  The way he looked so disheveled when he’d first wake up.  The taste of his tongue against yours. When he teased you of how badly you suck at every video game you tried.  The list of things you missed about William felt endless.  You were certain, more than ever now, if you were to ever try to love again, you would have to settle for someone that was a distant second to him.  That thought broke you even more.   

As the days leading to the end of 2019 grew shorter, and weather more miserable, your mood and thoughts about William changed, seemingly adopting the climate that surrounded you.  You started to convince yourself that perhaps the feelings you and he shared weren’t really real; perhaps he had been wheeling you since you met.  Your thoughts continued to darken when you realized you were likely nothing more to him than just a convenience when he was in between relationships; he used you like a disposable girlfriend…once you would leave for your next project, he was totally free to move on to someone else.  For all you knew, maybe you were amongst a string of girls he was wheeling.  It would not be unheard of.

More and more you pieced the puzzle of your own design together. He couldn’t have loved you -  even though he admitted that he did when you were in his arms last.  Once you had whispered the same to him, it was like floodgates opening with the words “I love you” that flowed effortlessly between you.  You told each other every chance you had during that last blip of time together.  

You resumed the previous thought.  He couldn’t have loved you to only turn around and cut you off the way he did, a mere month later.  

Once the tour began, the moment came when you all but discarded the loving feelings you once had for William and forced out the amazing memories.  You continued to captivate audiences around the world with your powerful songs and incredible voice. Images and videos of you being celebrated for your beauty and elegance were in continuous rotation on every social media platform.  Leading up to award season, your name was on repeat for several music award nominations. You graced a number of red carpet events and attended after parties, always looking ravishing as you engaged in chats with interviewers and stopped to take pictures with other celebrities and onlookers.

Your mind snapped back to reality as the SUV pulled up to and through the security gate of your sprawling Toronto home.  You thanked the driver and Evelyn politely asked him to wait for her, and you and Evelyn disappeared into the house.

You stood in the front foyer for a moment, soaking in the fact that this is where you’ll be hanging your hat, both literally and figuratively, until you decide where you truly want to be.  As beautiful of a house as you had here in this city, you knew it would take a lot more than an exquisite interior to make it feel like a home.  All you wanted was for your home to be filled with love and laughter and family and friends.  

“Why don’t you just head straight to bed…you look like you’re ready to collapse” Evelyn said, picking up your small suitcase and walking toward your master bedroom on the main floor.  

You ran your hands gently over your face, trying to stimulate enough alertness to respond.

“Very good idea…God, I’m just beyond.  I think I may end up sleeping for 2 days straight” you said. 

The adrenaline that surges through your body during your performances is a feeling like no other, but you knew the downside to that was utter exhaustion after the fact. 

The welcome sight of your large California King bed took hold, and you immediately stripped down to your bra and panties, and slipped between the crisp cotton sheets, pulling the overstuffed duvet up over your shoulders.  Evelyn continued bringing in a few more of your belongings into the bedroom, all the while, you could already feel yourself sinking into the mattress and the urge to sleep was taking hold.

“Thank you Evelyn…for everything.  I don’t know what it’s going to be like not to see you almost every day”.  Your eyes welled up with tears, your throat tight with emotion.  

“I’m going to LA, not Mars…all you need to do is call.  You just remember - we made an incredible team, and that was just as much you as it was me.  Evelyn paused.  “You have been such a gift to my life.”  and she leaned over to kiss the top of your head.    

“Call me soon and let me know how it’s going with your new act” you yawned, and started to drift off.

“Do you want me to turn your phone off?” Knowing the answer already, she didn’t wait for a response….you had fallen asleep already anyway.

Evelyn grabs your phone from the charger and sees text notifications on the lock screen.

Knowing your passcode, she bypasses the biometric prompt and the home screen appears.

Evelyn realized your phone had been on do not disturb for quite some time.  She taps the message icon and sees a familiar name as the sender.

The first text is short, sent earlier that night.

Hey - it’s William Hoping to get a chance to talk when you have a min

Then there’s a second text sent a little while after the first:

Are you still here?

Then lastly:

K - well.  I hope you’re staying in TO for a bit.  Would like to see you.

Evelyn looks over at you, sound asleep, and considers the options.

Ignore the messages, turn off your phone and leave it for you to decide on how to handle it once you’ve got some rest.

Text William back on your behalf to at least let him know you’re home and to try back in a day or two

Wake you up to show you the messages.

Given your current peaceful resting state, and knowing you like virtually no other, Evelyn is aware that waking you up now would only unleash a rabid and maniacal beast - and she wanted no part in that.

Just as she considers shutting the phone off, the words “Incoming Call” appear with “Ny88” underneath.

Evelyn stares at the caller for a moment and then picks up.  

“Hello, Y/N’s phone”

“Um - Hi…this is William, a friend of Y/N.  I was trying to get a hold of her for a couple of hours…I was just, uh…worried”.  William’s voice trails off

“Hi William, it’s Evelyn…not sure if you remember me; we met a few years ago.  Y/N’s back home now - sorry, she had her phone on do not disturb. Not sure why.” Evelyn confesses.  “But she was knackered and is asleep now….I think you know the drill with her after she comes off after a concert” Evelyn laughs.

“Oh, right - yes…hey Evelyn.  Yeah - I remember…she’s down for the count afterwards” William chuckles.  “Well, I was hoping to bump into her tonight after the show but it seems like she was surrounded the entire time.” 

Evelyn paused, unsure of exactly how much she should convey to William.

“I know it’s been awhile; she would have liked to have seen you, I’m sure.”

There was further silence, and remembering she had a flight to catch, Evelyn tried to speed up the conversation.  “Do you want me to leave her a message for her to call you when she wakes up?

“Fuck…that'll be days” William muttered under his breath, suddenly realizing Evelyn may have heard.  “Sorry…shit…scratch that, '' he said nervously.  "I…I just really was hoping to see her or talk with her tonight, but I guess that's not possible" he said, defeated.

Evelyn looks down at you sleeping.  She recalls the car ride home, you flushed and wrought with emotion as the memories you suppressed of William came flooding back.  She watched you during the intermissions of tonight's performance hiding away in the dressing area, trying to keep your shit together after seeing William in the crowd.  She had seen you at your highest highs over the years when you and William were able to spend time together and at your lowest low after he ended it. 

You finally have the time now, she thought - so it's go time…now or fucking never.

"I've got to catch a flight, so I'm leaving straight away.  If I give you the security codes to get in, I can trust you that she'll be in good hands, right William?" Evelyn paused before finishing with "Because so help me God William, if I hear of anything to the contrary, you do not want to see my other side."

“I’m leaving now” William says with a rushed tone and hangs up before Evelyn has a chance to respond.