#this scene was so freakin hilarious

[meep-meep-richie]

´´ I care desperately about what I do. ´´

[accio-victuuri]

NOVEMBER 19 : The Full Story 📝

oh well sort of, cause this is what is known and shared publicly with tons of filling in the blanks by cpfs. someone made a side by side incidents during this day and time for the past years 2017 to now 2023 and it’s good to see it all laid out. it’s hilarious to see the realization among turtles that we could be wrong about their anniversary date. for years, we always talked about the month of June but now, November is making a great argument 😂

( these freakin masterminds are so naughty! I swear!!! 🤣🤣🤣 )

source of the compilation i’m using to outline is 圣衣雪琳 cause they perfectly summed up the key points very well. I already talked about some of these in my previous post but this is for the “11/19 lore” exclusively and so we can expand on other years.

I’m a sucker for timelines so let’s go 💪🏼

2017: At this time, they already know of each other and depending on who you ask might have already been low key stalking the other. LOL. WYB’s was about Just Dance and ZZ is a selfie and hotpot ; the latter post about going home.

I don’t think that this holds much significance in terms of an actual relationship and stuff happening behind the scenes. However, it feels like fate that they both posted on this day even without that significance being there. We cpfs love to talk about how they are fated and certain things, no matter how mundane, turned out to be a piece that completed the puzzle. There is some push back with some turtles saying this shouldn’t be included cause it seems like the start of this 11/19 is 2018 but again, just leaving this here. I could probably add 2015/2016 if we really wanna back track lol

2018: THIS IS THE KEY CPN IN ALL OF THIS. I have already explained it here. The infamous Japan trip. How both of them seemingly making references to their post from this year vs today (2023) especially XZ who even posted on the same time. There are so many rumors about this timeline, even going as far as saying the next day, they started living together. How this was WYB saying it’s WYB, not LWJ. So the relationship they have now is not between fictional characters but the real one.

I’m eating this candy whole. No one can tell me otherwise. I’m sold 🤣🤣🤣

Have we been wrong? did they officially become together 11/19/2018. Some are even pointing out that one of GG’s photos shared today appears to be him traveling back from IM to Beijing.

and who is in Beijing? His home. Yibo. 🏡

We love to think about them sharing photos to each other and i’m imagining this is ZZ sending something similar to WYB and saying that he is on his way back.

2019: Bazaar video was released, it’s message being a favorite among BXGs. Going by the assumption that this is their anniversary of sorts, it makes sense to have a message like that to be delivered.

how he met his love in a dream ( presumably that summer and playing wwx opposite wyb’s lwj ) and when he woke up, his love is still there. meaning even in reality, he still feels the same. no. it was not scripted, the one who shot it said it was xz’s answer and he was shocked too.

They posted some work related stuff on that day, with WYB’s being audi’s. the part of the caption we are clowning about is : Don’t blame me for not reminding you. Which in the original post and context is about the benefits you will get if you buy an Audi. but in cpn speak it could mean that ZZ probably forget, but he actually didn’t cause that bazaar love confession was clear.

2020: I already talked in detail over here #2 with was going on at the time.

It’s also the start of the whole Thursday is a good day to see you, in reference to WYB’s vogue post. Then it snowballed into a whole CPN of it’s own.

I forgot to add one important thing tho, around this time 11/18 there schedules were public and both are supposed to go back to Beijing. WYB was from Hangzhou and ZZ was from Nanjing. The incident of WYB changing his flight 3x so he can go back to Beijing is this time 11/18. We clowned that he was so eager to be in the same city with ZZ but with what we think now, it could be he wanted them to be together badly because it’s their anniversary the next day 11/19. 🤯

2021: Both of them posting a Douyin video that involves changing clothes. Which is a very common transition trend on the app but seeing it done on the same day was a treat and unusual. GG’s was posted 11/17 and WYB was 11/19.

I wanna remind people too that this is the same month we got the mysterious “voices” both in Shenzhen Vlog ( his husband wang yibo ) and talks of ZZ being at the Luoyang press conference filming. The same month the whole Ximalaya CPN started too. So they were definitely “acting up”.

2022: No actual posts but a parallel. 11/17, Guangdian appeared on the itunes chart because of fan’s effort. 11/18, WYB released a song ( government related ) called Light Chaser. So spotlight = light chaser has similar element and theme of light. Then on 11/20 WYB’s shared a douyin with 👀.

2023: Probably making up for how quiet last year was, they decided to give us a big hint/s of what 11/19 is all about. 😂😂😂

This is all fake and cpn talk. I do enjoy when candies go years back! This journey of trying to piece things together is a bxg’s strength so we’re really thriving today— with all the possibly unrelated events we have managed to stitch together into this! 🙃

[cosmic-metanoia]

Femininity Concepts in FFXVI

***Spoilers for Final Fantasy XVI***

Well, here I am again, now focusing on the female characters.

Like I did in the previous post, I will focus on the female Dominants first then highlight some secondary characters that really stood out.

*Jill - Come on, we gotta start with our beloved gal. She demonstrates this silent but strong (and even fearsome) spirit. She's very supportive of Clive but is not afraid to voice her opinions. She possesses a natural elegance and grace but demonstrates her fierce capabilities on the battlefield. She has a knack for negotiation and relating to others. We really see her unveil her dark side when she confronts her past head on in the Iron Kingdom. What's fantastic is that she asked for Clive's support and understanding but made it clear that she would be the one to face off against the Crystalline Orthodoxy's head priest (his name escapes me). Jill may not always make background commentary but her words are carefully selected and measured.

*Benedikta - She is your classic femme fatale that plays with men to further advance her position. Yet the one who she is in a love/hate relationship with is the one she can't have. She is ferocious yet what makes her different is that she contains this hidden sorrow and just wants to be genuinely loved. The way she frantically panicked when she lost her Eikon honestly brought tears to my eyes. She ended up with the wrong crowd and played this game of political chess in a room full of powerful men yet she instantly realized how useless she was to them in that moment of losing her most valuable piece.

*Side note: Let's hope that Leviathan the Lost is another female Eikon when the DLC hits in the next few months!! <3

*Jote - Okay, this awesome woman is HIGHLY underrated! She is incredibly enigmatic and we learn so much about her from the thoughts of other characters but never from her own lips! Initially players may brush her off as some unimportant maid servant but we see that she is so much more - a shield, a formidable fighter (though never witnessed!), a healer, a scout, etc. She's basically doing the jobs of Tarja, Clive, and Gav wrapped up in one! Yet her eyes give away her feelings towards Joshua and especially when she frets over his health. Yes, she longs for him but what makes it unique is that she loves him for who he is, not for what benefits his Eikon brings to the Undying that worships him.

*Mid - A freakin' prodigy. I mean, she is the head of the hideaway engineers! An occupation that is stereotypically masculine. She is 100% focused on her tasks and is not your typical 16 year old gal for sure. Her genius inventions, zest for life, and fast-talking mannerisms has all of the hideaway family wrapped around her finger (true, also because she is Cid's daughter). That whole scene with Joshua kneeling to kiss her hand upon meeting her cracked me up - she's the last woman who requires a chivalrous display but what I love is how she laughed and pulled him up and gave him a reassuring pat on the shoulder.

*Charon - What can I say, this woman does not take s--- from ANYONE. She's even intimidating to some of the men at the hideaway which is absolutely hilarious. She is a hardened woman that commands respect but has her softer side which takes time to reveal. Money is on her mind but eventually she learns that there should be more to life - using her abilities as a cunning merchant to help a cause greater than herself.

*Tarja - Like Charon, she also does not accept any B.S. and takes her job as the non-magical physicker very seriously. What's great is that she isn't a nurse but the actual (and only) doctor of the hideaway. Her extensive knowledge is incredibly valuable and the hideaway would definitely not have survived without her.

*Vivian - A woman held in high-esteem who is so focused on the garnering of knowledge that she even gets targeted by assassins. Her intelligence certainly tips the scales in favor of the Cursebreakers to gain the upper hand.

*Anabella - I have a huge post written about her but I figure it's worth mentioning a particular aspect. She possesses quite the evil ambitions and is able to persuade not just the theocratic Sanbrequois emperor but powerful men from other nations - NOT just through her looks but through her conniving strategies. She longs for a powerful legacy forged by the greatest possible noble blood and even views herself as the prized breeding cow.

Some other examples of different aspects of female characters include: Eloise who is an astute businesswoman who conducted deals and contracts while her brother Theodore (sob) became her trusted porter; Martha who is the tough protector of Martha's Rest - the Rosarians put their trust and faith in her; the same with the Northreach residents when it came to Isabelle. What's great about her is that she is a courtesan but we see her blossom into a strong and trustworthy leader that many held in high esteem.

Even the stoic Dorys is the commander of a Cursebreakers squad.

I love how the story had female characters each with their own drives and ambitions whether they were motivated by a just cause or for evil reasons.

[blackstarchanx3new]

Four Swords Returns pages 121-124

Dark Link spoke smth of substance pertaining to himself for once.

Also finally get to show what Shadow looks like in "headspace". He's a shadow.

Side note the: "HOLY SHIT I GOT HIM" face Shadow makes is so hilarious to me.

Mini FS talk:

I literally wanna have an extension to that scene SO BAD. You can tell, because I've drawn extensions to it 3 freakin' times now.

Literally the conversation past Vio realizing "Holy shit I don't need them" could have gone SO MANY WAYS. What lead to him GOING WITH SHADOW!?

At what point because I think Vio did consider it for at least a second did he ACTUALLY "betray" Shadow Link?

The manga leads you to believe he was lying from the start: I've stated all of my issues with that idea, but just take a sec to look at his body language in the OG manga. Dude is visibly upset by what Shadow said. And Shadow Link isn't even insulting him. He literally is telling him he's BETTER than the other 3.

Vio's so interesting to me because you can't hurt him by insulting HIM you break him by pointing out his inability to fit in. Which is just. Agh. Ouch.

[cardinaldust]

Little rant here so please bear with me. And please read till the end thank youuu

I saw the new high school script for Ride the Cyclone and I have some... things to say about it..

•On the plus side, it's got that cheesy high-school play humor now so that's fun. And some of the replacements are actually really hilarious, like Jane's replacement joke for the "Fornication Under Consent of the King." I also kinda like the chop off for WTWN. I mean, I could go either way tbh.

•However, WHAT DID THEY DO TO NOEL? Seriously! They made his dream be a carny instead of a hooker?! Like, I get it, you can't have a high school boy walking around wanting to be a whore, but c'mon, a carny? Considering the play takes place post-accident at a fair, the carnival theme feels repetitive (although, the "My life's one never-ending carnival" line now makes sense, but still-). And though I mentioned Jane's joke being changed was funny, I still don't like it that much (since it is connected to Noel's Lament).

And I have mixed feelings on Noel's new catchphrase. It's definitely hilarious in the way it kinda makes you feel bad, but still, the original is better.

•Depending on the school, most of Ride the Cyclone could arguably be kept. The main thing people have to realize is that visuals and/or choreography play a lot in the inappropriate parts of Rtc. Like in SABM, you have to change a few lyrics and the choreo for the Ricky-changing scene and BAM! You've got a high-school friendly jam. Same thing for Noel's Lament. Change "hooker" to "worker" and a few other things and it should work.

•What I'm most confused about is why they kept Jane Doe's original catchphrase. She says the term "make love," so that kinda leaves the door open for inappropriate jokes to be made. Like, you could make the Monique costume a tad more modest, change the explicit lyrics and let the visuals give a nudge at what's really happening.

•And finally hot take but, in general, HIGHSCHOOLS SHOULD NOT BE DOING RIDE THE CYCLONE! The story is written the way it was FOR. A. REASON. 👏👏 It's a dark and inappropriate show for. a. reason.👏👏 Yall remember how I mentioned that part of WTWN has been removed? Well, no one's sure why but it's believed that it's because the vocals are too much for highschoolers.

.... did you hear that? Ocean's vocals are too much for highschoolers..

HELLO?! WHAT ABOUT JANE FREAKIN DOE?!

-------------------------------------------------------

•Idk, I think I'm just really irritated mainly about Noel's Lament since it's so, so iconic. We all love the tragedy of it and that's what Noel wants to be! Tragic. I can only imagine they made it more of a "You feel bad for the kid" tragic and not "holy shit, this kid wants to live this kind of life?" tragic.

Clearly, Noel is my favorite character and the fact he was BUTCHERED so horribly makes my blood boil💀

Anywho, feel free to agree with me or not but I've said what I said.

(Ps. Ricky is still able-bodied....)

-Juneau

[rustic-space-fiddle]

Lil rant (MAYBE PJATO SHOW SPOILERS?)

Lots of opinions up ahead so uh, look out.

I’m watching the PJATO show and I really love some parts. The casting—they’re all wonderful (literally everyone, Mr D is hilarious) and any fears I had have been quelled because they’re all amazing and the trio fit their characters well (even IRL and they’re so precious). Camp Half Blood — so well done. The cabins are huge, the colosseum is just what I imagined, and they really did great on making it properly large and vibrant. I love it. Some of the extra beats they’ve added to make it better expanded beyond the strictly Percy POV in the book have been good. Annabeth and Grover chucking Percy into a fountain to try to heal him was hilarious and totally in character—probably my favorite part so far. Also: AHHHH SEAWEED BRAIN!

But is anyone just feeling… like the pacing is super slow? Like I get that us “zoomers��� have tiny attention spans and stuff but “The Horse and His Boy” was my favorite Narnia book and I read LOTR when I was 11 so I don’t think my attention span is quite so bad. These kids got ADHD and it feels like every talk and every scene just drags. Every time I think the energy is gonna rise, it gets smacked back down by lackluster scene climaxes. Again, I’m not trying to say we need more explosions or booms or arguments, just that I]it isn’t even remotely eliciting the same kind of goose-pimple/heart thumping moments I remember from the books. I reread them constantly and it’s always thrilling.

And the music… someone I was watching it with said it sounded like generic Marvel music, and they’re kinda right. I can’t remember a single note from the score at all, and I’m always listening to movie/TV scores because they’re like listening to the story in music format! PJATO’s score though? Can’t even remember it. I can’t remember any of it even being used in certain places. I thought they’d try to get older instrumentals to make it unique, like lyre AND electric guitar in the mix, but honestly I can’t even remember what it sounds like. That’s bad, right?

[[EDIT: I just looked up the score on Spotify and it was literally made by the people who did the “God of War” game score. There’s no freakin way this music is bad. I’m gonna listen to it alone later. Maybe it’s just set really low in the mix… ]]

The “death” of Sally Jackson was so lackluster. Just a standard medium long shot, can’t even remember if the music flourished or dropped or anything. Their acting was great, but it was framed so poorly that it just felt… idk…

The pacing feels like it’s something I would do as an amateur who doesn’t yet understand how to edit on my first few write-up’s of a script. I’m not trying to be mean or unfair because I REALLY wanna love this show and I genuinely love a lot of stuff about it and I can tell that so many people are working so hard on it, but holy moly I feel my brain begging for someone to do something impertinent and just slap the show into a roll whenever I’m watching it.

There’s another issue I have with the timing of the most recent episode but I don’t wanna go much further.

Again, this is all opinion and not meant to say anyone shouldn’t like the show or that the people in it are stupid because they aren’t at all and people should like it! I’m just saying that as someone that really appreciated the pacing of the books (that was quick but never sacrificed the storytelling and slowed down when it needed to), I am really feeling that this show isnt shaping up like that. Additional note: I’m not even saying that the pacing of the show needs to BE the pacing of the books. I’m just saying that the pacing of the books is one of the things that made it so good and I really haven’t read many things with pacing of that quality.

Aaaanyway feel free to disagree with me or roast me alive. I just haven’t seen anyone talking about it and I wanted to rant a little and see what other people thought. I’m still gonna keep watching because I think if they can fix the pacing, imma really freaking enjoy this and in case they do, I don’t wanna miss it. And because I’d rather have more PJATO show than less!

[peppercornpress]

Kimi no Tonari — by Butterfly Cafe (Mamu)… is a freakin’ Masterpiece.

This is my NaruHina book report that NOBODY asked for. But... I can't help myself. Link to BOOK. I just can’t keep quiet about this one!!

Summary:

The story takes place almost a decade after the fourth shinobi war where Naruto is in his late twenties and bemoaning single life. Naruto started to hang out around Team 8 several years before the start of the story… just coincidentally mingling with peers who are still single, and finds himself particularly drawn toward Hinata’s company. Except—This is an AU where Naruto flat-out dumps Hinata after the Pein-attack, and Hinata is haunted by his blunt words of rejection. To complicate matters, Naruto doesn’t remember ever rejecting her and is confused and frustrated whenever Hinata LOUDLY and REPEATEDLY friend-zones him.

Why I think this is a masterpiece:

A super simple premise that's executed perfectly. Best Friends to Lovers Trope (Idiots to lovers, more like). Mutual Pining.

Witty, snappy, and FUN dialogue. So many laugh-out-loud moments.

Artful use of flash-forwards gives the reader a peek into an upcoming scene that sets the tone for the chapter.

A slow-burn romance with WONDERFUL pacing!!!!

A really good fight!!!!! A well-earned, and well-overdue couples-fight!!! Naruto and Hinata spend way too much time together, so the big fight they have that changes their relationship in the middle of this story is EPIC. BRUTAL. INSANE. They both call each other out and say things that cut DEEP. And more importantly, the way they make up and talk things out felt really realistic. There are holes in their arguments, and they brush things under the rug a bit, highlighting how hard it is for friends to become lovers. It also sets them up for their last and final misunderstanding that ultimately leads to them finally talking things out and confessing toward each other. It makes their final scenes together so satisfying.

Hilarious OC characters that test the couple’s patience/relationship. (Hinata's goofy admirer? Naruto's bothersome fangirls? The flamboyant shopkeeper that sells sexy dresses? They're a riot! I loved them!!)

CHARACTER GROWTH!!! Rewarding character growth!!

TEAM 8 being FED UP with both Naruto and Hinata. Kiba was the real MVP of this story. Honestly, HE should be Hokage. HUMPH!!!

Throughout the story, Naruto keeps saying 'My place is by your side' to Hinata (Title of this book). In the beginning, it sounds platonic... especially since he says it to highlight what great friends they are. But the more Naruto says it, the more impactful and romantic it gets as their relationship changes over the course of the story.

The ending is beautiful. I know it must be really hard to end a slow-burn love story, but this one just sticks the landing.

Mamu's known for her other slow-burn BFFs-to-Lovers fic you can read on her Pixiv account for free, but this one is like... a more refined version of that story. The ending especially is what makes this fic shine~!!

Here’s Mamu’s PIXIV-available story that is similar to ‘Kimi no Tonari’… but it’s set right after Naruto get’s his prosthetic arm, so blank-period NaruHina. Bff to lovers.

[fukia]

Fionna & Cake final thoughts , opinions and nitpicks lol

This will be unorganized and random and stinky, sorry

• great pacing first 2 eps

• good ideas

• ignoring multiverse saturation, is p decently done here!

• I miss Neil Patrick’s take on Gary/gumball- he sounded so freakin princely :(

• marshall sounded kinda less mischievous than he used to? Like vocally more down or something- I’m super glad he had the same actor tho lol Donaldddd

• I miss old Prismo voice too but I know why these didn’t work out

• Hunter’s voice either could’ve gone for a deep gravely stoicism or could’ve just been w/ the same actor as Huntress Wizard

• Scarab is ehhh- decent design but feels kinda out of place for adventure time- voice is similarly the same offness too, reminded me of kinda bad anime dub voices, it doesn’t feel intentional to the right extent —- either make a more surreal villain or a funnier one, his presence was rather generic

• the spooky faces and scurrying beetle of scarab was kinda funny

• lemongrab. Why justnonce roiland.

• I will end my life a million aeons over for Orbo - bluey’s dad: “say goodbye to your legs!”

• mmmarceline dress

• bubblegum mmmmilitary

• I wish we saw the fucking MOON vampire

• MOON vs STAR (super cool naming if the uh tarot thing is carried on here I legit don’t know if star is an actual tarot card lemme check)

• ORGALORG WHYYYYYY

• marshall n Gary was sweet- but I really wished they played up the bitter exes part before they did just the fluffy dating, bring a bit of parallel consistency

• fionna was good acting! The crying bit made my heart ouches- Character herself was a tad frustrating at times admittedly

• cake is great still - cake and vampire king hilarious

• why no “the star”’s actual dad :(

• BETH SHERMY GIBBON YES YES YES- back to old adventure time: I love the intro theme for Beth and shermy, it’s so melancholic and desolate, cold, with backgrounds that make this so fascinatingly depressing a turn for the land of oo (happy endings impermanent- life goes on kinda deal, so cool, so consistent with adventure time’s own concepts & “everything stays”)

• Simon and Betty made me emotional

• uhh how old was Betty when she starting dating simon? Just offhand lol I’m sure it was fine

• Golbetty had beautiful scenes

• way better simon and Golbetty than that weird adventure time published comic I’m sure some of you read

• the animation is great on some places, other times while well made, feels out of place for adventure time; like it’s trying too hard to be pretty (not the Ice Prince song, stuff like that made sense for adventure time)

• like some bits reminded me of Steven universe’s inconsistencies (same bits that made me really really dislike some of adventure time distant lands’ execution)

• [funny nitpick incoming] like there were points where the characters had really big eyes even tho they r supposed to be dots (not when exaggerating certain emotions cartoonishly, I meant prolonged); adventure time’s deal is keeping them small and kinda hard to decipher

• some bits were just a tinnny too anime that it bothered me, just some! Anime is cool!!!

• I was really expecting or hoping for a Korra styled multi-season just with lesser episodes

• the resolution was… kinda haphazardly handled

• same with some of the final themes, like w/ simon n betty

• adventure time is kinda known for being almost ambiguously optimistic so the whole super happy thing was kinda strange to me

• I know like it shouldn’t have to be the same as adventure time obviously, but that was the general identity of adventure time; the cosmic ambiguity with absurd humor delivered nonchalantly

• like I think of patience st pim’s ice domain during elements and the melancholic quietness of it - also PATIENCE ST PIM WHYYYYY I LOVED YOU (patiencevstheempresscough)

• ORGALORG COME BACK TO MEEEE

• yes it was a great thing to have this miniseries I enjoyed many parts

• the music was fucking fire!!!

• where was the dr two brains reference ? -3-

[lunarmothmann]

finally watched the roller coaster safety tutorial so here were my thoughts throughout

~OBVIOUSLY SPOILERS FOR RIDE THE CYCLONE IF YOU HAVENT SEEN IT BUT I HIGHLY RECOMMEND IT~

- VIRGIL. HE PLAYS BASS. I LOVE HIM.

(its a bit of a mess so bear with me)

- how the hell did they make Jane look headless in the intro, thats so cool

- the expressions on everyone's faces when Jane is introduced is hilarious

- OCEAN AND HER WHITE GIRL DANCE MOVES

- i hate that they got rid of Ocean's riff at the end of What The World Needs

- Karnak is the expert of giving information just a little too late

- BORTHDAY.

- "your cousin was in grade 4, he had to get his stomach pumped" is unironically funny

- GIVE JANE A HUG ISTG SHE HAS HER ARMS HELD OUT AND EVERYTHING

- i think Noel might be a masochist, just saying-

- Noel's life is honestly really sad. I feel so bad for him

- NOT HIM CALLING OCEAN A SUCCUBUS LMAO

- ngl he makes the dress work

- MISCHA??? HELLO??? THATS KINDA FRUITY

- that chair is a paid actor bc its been through so much in just this number alone

- HELP CONSTANCE TRYING TO GET AWAY FROM JANE IS SO FUNNY

- "not in my Bible, baby. BONSOIR" I am struggling so hard to keep my composure while typing

- THE HIP THRUST WHEN OCEAN SAYS "teen sex KILLS"

- THE PORN MUSIC. HELP ME IM DYING OUT HERE

- "im not mad at you, im just frequently disappointed" you know what I felt that

- I dont agree with them saying Mischa as the angriest boy in town, he was just mistreated and had a hard life :( he has so many nice moments with the other kids

- OCEAN AND HER FAN THAT ISNT EVEN TURNED ON-

- seeing Mischa talk abt Talia makes me so sad

- Talia is such an underrated song, this makes me wanna sob

- idk why but Ocean touching Mischa's cheek at the start of Talia did something to me I cannot explain

- the projections are making this so emotionally distressing to watch

- THEN THE FUCKING UPBEAT POP SECTION

- CONSTANCE'S GUILTY LOOK AT THE VIRGIN LINE

- oh god here comes Space Age Bachelor Man

- DID RICKY STICK HIS FINGER IN OCEAN'S MOUTH????

- what the hell i am so uncomfortable

- I hate those cat masks so much

- "it gets weird" ITS BEEN WEIRD WHAT

- WHAT IS HE WEARING. im not even gonna talk abt the fake abs.

- this choreography is so sexually charged and im so confused

- Jane makes me so unbelievably sad why cant they treat her better

- no comments, just The Ballad of Jane Doe.

- ok one comment, the ACTING. the VOCALS. ITS ALL PERFECT.

- THE BIRTHDAY SCENE IS SO SWEET LIKE THEY ARE TRYING TO MAKE JANE FEEL BETTER

- the new birthday song 🥺

- Jane's little sway aww

- BORTHDAY PT 2

- Savannah with the greenest eyes 😭

- THE BOOB PUNCH. "you just punched me!! in the freakin boob!!"

- Constance's favorite ride was the one that killed her :(

- IM SORRY CONSTANCE DID WHAT?

- THE TATTOO WAS WHAT????

- oh no this is so sad

- the impromptu dance moves during sugar cloud bc they arent being controlled by Karnak are so cute

-Ocean's white girl dance moves pt 2

- RECORDER SOLO WOOHOO

- OCEAN SOUNDS SO BROKEN WHEN KARNAK TELLS HER ITS HER DECISION TO MAKE THE FINAL VOTE

- "you knew all along I couldn't do it" "what?" "choose myself" IM DYING OUT HERE HELP

- "id gladly take my seventeen years over nothing" WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME

- the sad little "democracy rocks"

- is the video meant to show Jane's life as she crosses over? or is it just showing imagery of life overall bc of the theme of this show

- It's Just a Ride after everything I just witnessed is like a punch in the gut

- they seem so happy :,)

- im in physical pain over this show.

[eternal-echoes]

This scene was so freakin’ hilarious. Especially with Godo saying he’s gonna tell Miyo on Kiyoka. Because he knows Miyo has already owned Kiyoka’s heart.

[basilone]

Would you ever...write a Band of Brothers/SAS Rogue Heroes crossover? (full amnesty for funny history sort of thing)

You know, if I ever get a hang of the SAS Rogue Heroes crew voices-wise, I would totally do some prompt work with this. I don't think I could do full fic on it, but the idea lends itself really well to short and scrappy scenes. And, of course, a too-liberal approach to actual history right here.

I'm pondering the BoB crew getting stuck in North Africa, of course. Babe is lobster red and bitching about the amount of sunshine, Toye's complaining under his breath about the indefinite postponement of Joe Toye Day until Stirling says "there's still Rommel, if you want a shot", Webster's trying his best French (which is not very good at all, but Nixon's content to observe this with a shit-eating grin on his face), Malark's absorbed into whatever back-and-forth Almonds and Riley have got going on, and Seekings and Liebgott develop an understanding that only Winters seems to be halfway worried about.

The thing is, or so Chuck observes, there are benefits to being off the leash and running around like a pack of wild dogs. Sure, whatever staring contest Mayne and Speirs have got going on between them is intense but it always somehow seems to end with a "great, let's blow shit up" that Chuck can't argue with. Sure, the French are weird (though Sadler says they're easier than the Soviets, prompting a "how many Soviets have you met in the desert" that the man never seems to answer) and the water rations have Perconte in a snit, but there are worse things in life.

Worse things, really, like getting stuck in freakin' Bastogne without an escape plan (cue Mayne going stir-crazy in a foxhole) and playing a game of sitting ducks. Worse things, like Roe not having enough morphine and Stirling's options to liberate a stash of it vastly dwindling. Worse things, which would be great to write but vastly less hilarious than the BoB-in-North-Africa route.

[wanna know if I would ever write xyz? send me an ask!]

[thegirlwiththeninjaturtletattoos]

I wanted to participate but I can’t draw lol so I’m doing a written version like we used to do on those Facebook notes we shared back in 2009 hahahaha I’m old

Credit to @mikasleaf for the challenge

===============================

TMAYNT CHALLENGE (Written Out)

1. Fav Turtle: Raphael

2. Fav April: gotta be Rise

3. Fav Henchman: I adore Cassie (rise) but my OG favs will always be Bebop and Rocksteady from the comics/ 87 cartoon

4. Fav baby turtles: 1990 all the way

5. Best Leo: ooh that’s so hard. I LOVE 03 Leo so much. But Rise Leo is fucking hilarious. But I gotta go with 03. My sweet traumatized boy.

6. Fav mutant ally: I adore MM’s Mondo Gecko sooo much

7. Best Turtle Gadget: I really liked April’s watch from the Bay OOTS, and the throw back noises it made were too fucking cute

8. Fav Turtle Ally+ Dynamic: the Casey+Raph dynamic is always my fav. They’re chaotic goobers who find comfort in their friendship.

9. Best Raph: DONT MAKE ME PICK ONE THIS IS SO HARD. 03 Raph and 1990s Raph is the light of my life, our snark king, my darling, but heck did I love the MM version. The rage, the carnage, the bloodlust, all while laughing maniacally. Amazing. And don’t get me started on Bayverse Raph, cause that’s a whole different box.

10. Fav Turtle Curse Word: I’m a big fan of the 1990 scene where Raph screams Damn, but I also love Shell yeah. 😅

11. Fav Splinter: 1990, no question. That rat is Uncle Iroh wise.

12. Best Turtle Vehicle: The garbage truck Donnie tricks out in OOTS is pretty damn impressive. There’s literally a punching bag in there lol

13. Best Donnie: I really love Rise Donnie. He’s just the best, hands down. 1990 comes in at a close second though.

14. Fav Turtle movie: 1990. It is a masterpiece.

15. Best Karai: 03 for sure

16. Best Episode: The Shredder Strikes (Pt 2 specifically) 03

17. Best Mikey: oof another hard one. 03, baby. My sweet sunshine pot-head

18. Favorite animation style: Rise! I love the angles.

19. Best Casey Jones: I ADORE the 1990 version. I feel like they really nailed him. But 03 also did a great job.

20. Fav Turtle Merch/Toy that you own: I met Steve Lavigne back in 2019 at a comic con. I was so excited I got really teary and he was so touched that he gave me some original Mikey artwork and he signed it. That man is the most precious Angel and must be protected. (See pic at the end)

21. Fav Shredder: I love the 87 version for his relationship with Krang and Bebop and Rocksteady.

22. Fav Turtle Duo: the 03 Don + Raph combo warms my heart. Don’t you dare hurt his brother dammit

23. Fav Human Ally: Casey Jones is the best. Like he’s just some guy who stumbled upon this family that he’s now a part of and he would die for. Love that guy.

24. Fav Turtle + Villian dynamic: I really liked Superfly from MM

25. What kind of weapon would you use if you were on the team: Bō staff. I always wanted to use nunchaku like Mikey, but I train with nunchucks and it is freakin hard. The staff is way more natural for me.

26. Fav Series: hmmm 2003.

27. Fav Mutant/Alien villain: 87 Krang is the snarkiest bitch and it is hilarious. I also love Draxum from Rise.

28. Fav Turtle Intro/Song: ooh this is so hard!! The 87 intro is a CLASSIC and always gets stuck in my head, but the 2003 intro will always be my favorite.

29. Fav Turtle Outfit/Gear: I love the Rise outfits and how they have such distinct personalities, but the Bay designs *chefs kiss*

30. Fav Human Villain: 03 Baxter Stockman. Bro was beautifully written

31. Which Turtle are you closest to in personality: Raphael and I are one in the same, with ya know the trauma and anger issues heheh

===========================

That was fun haha if you don’t remember how to do these, delete my answers and fill in your own!

The picture from #20!

[myfavlinkistwilight]

Random Linked Universe thoughts part four.

Guys, I would like to address a subject that never fails to amaze me.

Twiight's strength.

Okay, so I'm first going to address his arm strength. So I was re-reading the comics and I found a scene that made my jaw drop.

His sword literally STUCK INTO THE STONE!!

Have you ever hit a rock with a metal object?! It just bounces off when I do it.

But he just stuck it into the stone!!! Sure he used both his hands, but it's still incredible!!

Okay, I've addressed his arms now I'm gonna address the strength I find the most remarkable.

His legs.

Now you're probably thinking, his legs aren't that impressive, but think again.

We all know how he wrestled gorons, and to do that he had to have really strong legs to support the weight his body is bearing.

Also, he had to walk throughout the Goron mines in those annoying heavy boots (Not to mention he walked on the ceiling)

Have you ever heard of the helmsplitter? Well, it's a move the Hero's Shade teaches Twilight during his journey. Basically it involves smacking an enemy with a shield and frontfliping over them slashing their head with your sword.

Do you get it now?

He learned it from the Hero's shade (Aka our resident old man) which means he practiced it on him. The hero's shade is at least six feet tall.

The world record for a vertical jump is eight feet high. The average man can jump vertically twelve to twenty inches

If you didn't get it, Twilight can jump over six feet and that is over three times the amount of an average man. (And do a frontflip, impressive!)

Twilight is a freakin beast. (Haha I'm hilarious)

Anyways, my point is Twilight isn't only strong with his arms but even with his legs.

[destinysbounty]

Hey quick question who's the guy you keep shipping Garmadon with

I'm bad at remembering characters

I wouldnt say its a main ship of mine, in that i think they have chemistry, i mostly just think its hilarious conceptually. Its a case of "more interesting in fanon than in canon". The ship is called survivalshipping iirc, and id def recommend checking out the content other people have made for it because its an absolute delight.

As for the character himself, its Vinny the cameraman! The reason people ship them is because of that one scene from MotO where Garmadon asks Vinny "what could be more important than survival?" Hence the ship name. I personally love the idea of Vinny being Just Some Guy who probably collects bottle caps in his spare time and calls his mom every saturday - yknow, standard, mundane things - and yet somehow scores a date with an immortal, four-armed, half-oni-half-dragon lord of destruction. Love that for him. Their dynamic is a combination of Connecticut Clark and Malfina, and that meme of the guy who accidentally found his way into hell bc he got lost looking for the kitchen.

Also, imagine Lloyds reaction to that pairing. Your dead father's soulless zombie hooks up with some random guy youve maybe met in passing a few times but have never spoken to and don't know the name of. He doesnt love you, but for some reason he loves this random camera guy. How do you live with that.

So yeah, survivalshipping for the win because its so freakin funny

[cto10121]

Finished re-reading Eclipse (yeah, I’m going backward, sue me) and it truly is. Romance book logic at its finest. Some notes:

Antis whining and bitching about Edward’s overprotective behavior for 1/3rds of the book when 1) Bella does call him out on it and 2) Edward ends up apologizing and promising not to be so high-handed would be hilarious if people didn’t take that seriously. Granted, both Bella and Edward cannot stay angry with one another for one goshdarn minute (R&J: *glares, files a lawsuit*) without forgiving each other and making up. The most hilarious instance is Bella making her grizzly bears threat and then snuggling up to Edward when he returns (“I should infuriate you more often” he literally jokes). As for Edward, there is his agreement to miss out on the fight even when he clearly wants to go, but also at the end he was entirely willing to just give Bella the D!!! Without conditions!!! Too bad Bella finally realized it was best to make a proper farewell to her human life, she could have had a real happy time at their meadow.

Also re: “Edward isolates her, classic abusive behavior!!!” anti clown take…high-handed as Edward can be, he does not isolate Bella from her friends or cleave her from human life in general. On the contrary, he practically all but begs her to prolong her human life for a year or two or indefinitely, apply to and go to college, and spend more time with her human friends. He only has a problem with Jacob for obvious reasons re: treaty, romantic jealousy, etc. Hell, he doesn’t even want to her be a vampire. Edward’s chosen path is simply to be with Bella all throughout her human life. That is not the behavior of real-life abusers, btw. For better or worse, Bella’s becoming a vampire is driven chiefly by Bella herself. She decides whether it’s best to spend more time with friends or simply let those friendships go. She decides she wants to retain Jacob as a friend.

Jacob. My opinion is still the same: Fun character, still the worst as a love interest. I had more fun with him now than I did in my salad years (@my extremely salty teen self writing “DIE JACOB” for two whole pages, I know, bby, I get it), but thematically it does make sense. Eclipse is all about Bella realizing what she would give up re: her humanity, making her decision to become a vampire a truly informed one. That includes acknowledging Jacob as a potential love interest, Rosalie’s perspective, Jasper’s knowledge and history on newborn vampires and how truly violent the vampiric world is, seeing an example of a newborn vampire (Bree), and at least 1) human experience Bella does not want to miss out.

Speaking of which, Horny Bella!!! God I love this bitch!!! More seriously, I like the subversion of the virgin girl/bad boy trope by having Bella be the one to push for sex. And of course Bella agrees to marry Edward just so that she could have that sweet, sweet vampire D. I thoroughly approve.

The Edward and Jacob rivalry. 10/10, the best. I was eating mental popcorn throughout. Their stand-off at the school and Mike et al.’s subsequent bet, the male posturing, the tent scene…Edward’s jealousy especially was so entertaining. Edward’s reaction when Bella punched Jacob was sheer (romance novel) perfection. Charlie’s being blithely Team Jacob was the cherry on top of this social comedy sundae. And of course that tent scene was so iconic freakin’ Hunger Games copied it (and really badly. Why the hell did Collins even bother?).

On a related note: Those Wuthering Heights allusions were anvil-sized, but apropos, of course. I liked that Edward was the Heathcliff and saw himself in him, making Jacob the Linton. Fits into my personal theory of the Twilight Saga just being R&J, Jane Eyre, and Wuthering Heights put into a blender.

Bella being the one to piece together the mystery once more. She really gets all the brains for the first 3 books. This time, though, I call bullshit on them not realizing Victoria’s obvious involvement once they realized the intruder and the newborns in Seattle were connected. It was very much obvious. The only real twist was the Volturi coming in.

Rosalie’s backstory was so realistic and is a great commentary on misogyny than it is given credit for. Bella’s reaction was underbaked, though. She does get (1) nightmare over it, but otherwise it’s Tanya’s interest in Edward that really sticks. (Honestly, I’m here for it. Jealous!Bella is second only to Horny!Bella. Again, romance book logic at its finest.) Bella had much more of a empathetic reaction to Leah’s dilemma than Rosalie, interestingly enough, considering Sam/Emily is drawn as an explicit parallel to her and Edward. Perhaps Leah being the Jacob of that particularly triangle did touch her…

Antis clutching their pearls over Jasper was a Confederate soldier…when Jasper mentions it once, expresses zero nostalgia for that period in his life, and doesn’t even explain why he enlisted in the first place. He wasn’t even fighting when he was turned, just evacuating the city. Either way, he wasn’t a soldier for long before he was conscripted into another vampiric war.

Cinderbella strikes again re: Charlie and Renée, both weak ass parental figures. Again, it gives rationale for Bella’s attraction to Edward (more mature, stable, educated) and to Jacob (happy-go-lucky, younger, more reckless, laissez-faire). Both devoted powerful protectors belonging to fantastical worlds. Yeah, that tracks

“I refuse to be affected by territorial disputes between mythical creatures.” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 This line is so underrated.

In Breaking Dawn, I wondered a bit how Edward could accept Vampire Bella so quickly re: his soul reservations, but Eclipse does provide an answer. Bella is worried Edward would prefer her as a human than a vampire, and Edward literally 🤣🤣🤣🤣. Nice to know this was no retcon and yeah, it tracks

Edward being so damn generous with Bella realizing she is in love with Jacob is really the core essence of Team Edward for me. Jacob would not have been so generous had Bella met Edward after she had Jacob. Edward does love her best. Honestly, I even think she and Edward are more alike than Bella and Jacob. Bella and Jacob clash more often than they agree. Jacob does read her and understand her a lot better, I’ll grant you that.

Book Bella: “But I want you to know something—when it comes to all this enemies nonsense, I’m out. I am neutral country. I am Switzerland.” Movie Bella: “i’MSWITZERLAND!!!1!” God, the movies did Bella so dirty.

[robynmizore]

Redemption April Fool’s Special Chapter:

The REAL Story of Conquest

Omg hai ^___^ I’m Robyn and I absolutely luuuv @@ games <3 and my fav is Fire Emblem!!! Okies so anyways, im going to tell you about the BEST day of my life when I met my hot husband Takumi!! <333333333 OMFGZ HE WAS SOOOOO FREAKIN KAWAII IN PERSON!!! Supa kawaii desu!!!!!!!! ^______________________________^ When I walked into Hoshido ==I looked up and saw…TAKUMI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333!!!! “ KONNICHIWA OMGZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ SUPA SUPA SUPA KAWAII KUJO-SAMA!!!!!” I yelled n___n then he turned chibi then un-chibi!! he looked at me [O.O;;;;;;;;;;;] and then he saw how hot I am ** he grabbed my hand and winked ~_ then pulled me behind a pocky shop o.o and started to kiss me!!!!!! [OMG!!! HIS TONGUE TASTED LIKE PINEAPPLE!!! RLY!! . <.< .< (O) (O) (O)] then I saw some baka fat bitch watching us and I could tell she was undressing him with her eyes!!!!!!! [ -________- ;;;;; OMG I COULDN’T BELIEVE IT EITHER!!! (ò_ó) (ò_ó) (ò_ó)] so I yelled “UH UH BAKA NEKO THAT’S MY MAN WHY DON’T YOU GO HOOK UP WITH RYOMA CAUSE TAKUMI-SAMA LOVES ME!!! (ò_ó)” then Takumi held me close == and said he would only ever love me and kissed me again!!!!!!! ** (O)/ then we went to his castle and banged all night long and made 42 babies and they all became BEAUTIFUL PINEAPPLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nyaaaaa!!! (^<) ^_____________;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

“W-what the hell?!” Niles spluttered after reading that horrid abomination, throwing it across the room.

“Robyn, you said you were going to write a crack fic chapter today!” everyone’s favorite family friendly 😉 comedic relief seethed.

The authoress, lovingly named after the Goddess of Fate herself, threw her hands up in the air.

“I did!” she protested.

“That is NOT what they meant! This is abuse of the senses!” Niles yelled.

“Well I’m sorry, I thought it was hilarious!” The authoress crossed her arms over her chest. “What do you want then?”

The thief pondered this for a moment, then a wicked smirk crept on his features.

“Say.. do you remember why you wrote this tale in the first place?”

She nodded.

“Good good..”

Niles circled the room slowly, and he could feel the gears in his head turning.

“Why don’t you give it.. a better ending. Maybe something just a little more.. chaotic?”

The pair traded mischievous smirks. After all.. this whole novel was inspired by a particular wall scene. This was going to be very fun.

Warning.. profanity and EXTREME cringe

“OMG CORRIN!”

Nohr and Hoshido (except Takumi, the only reasonable one) squealed obnoxiously.

They all met up in a field because Nohr is full of assholes and decided the Hoshidan royalty did not deserve to grieve their dead mother, and needed to be thrown into a brutal war immediately after. Did they actually do anything to deserve it? Nope, but Daddy Garon hates peace and decided everyone needed to die for an even bigger Daddy Anankos.

“OMG CORRIN!!” Camilla squealed, waving her mommy milkers in everyone’s face.

“OMG CORRIN! Hurry up and ditch your blood family already!” Leo said with an eye roll. “I know dad tried to make you kill two innocent people from Hoshido, but like, he’s not that bad!”

“No, come with us!” Ryoma called. “We don’t abuse you!”

“Aw, we only locked them in a tower for years and years!” Elise protested.

“HMMMMMMMMMMMM…..”

Corrin thought deeply and logically about this.

“I choose… NOHR!”

“What, why?!” the Hoshidan siblings yelled.

“Oh, I wanna know why dad tried to kill me. So I’ve decided I’m walking back into a castle full of Nohrians to ask him. Also, I like my Nohrian siblings. Anyways, see ya!”

(Later in the Nohrian castle)

“Dad, did you try to kill me?” Corrin asked.

“No.” Garon deadpanned, clearly annoyed that Corrin returned alive.

“Ok, I believe you!”

“Whatever. Anyways, I need you to go to this super dangerous forest where you could easily die to prove I can trust you. Alone. Also if anyone tries to help you I’ll kill them.”

“Yep that’s totally not a red flag or anything!” Corrin replied.

Corrin’s next adventures consisted of similar stupidity- I mean missions, until that fateful day on Port Dia.

“WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!” Takumi shouted when he confronted the Nohrian army, only to see Corrin complaining about having to fight their Hoshidan siblings.

“Ugh..” the prince groaned, facepalming as he let out a slow breath to collect himself, then shouted

“WHEN WILL YOU REALIZE THAT YOUR ACTIONS… HAVE…CONSEQUENCES?!?!?!”

“They do?” Corrin asked, frowning. “But I have plot armor!”

“Oh that’s it.. I’m taking away your water privileges on turn ten!” Takumi seethed.

After a furious battle, Corrin, who is now magically a master tactician despite growing up locked in a tower, managed to take out the pineapple haired, bow wielding menace.

“Hahaha loser, get out!” Corrin said smugly. “If you do, we won’t kill you. Probably.”

“Gee thanks, you’ve all really proven yourselves trustworthy, especially after killing BOTH MY PARENTS UNDER THE GUISE OF PEACE!” Takumi snapped. “And our civilians!”

“How rude. Mommy should beat some manners into you!” Camilla gasped, her mommy milkers flopping everywhere because ✨ fanservice ✨

“Nah let him be mad. He’s justified. Still gonna make him suffer unnecessarily tho.” Corrin replied.

“If it weren’t for you, Mother and our civilians would be alive!” Takumi shouted, causing Corrin to glitch out.

“T-too m-m-much l-logic!!!”

Then Takumi was seized with a horrible headache and retreated, swearing vengeance for his mother’s murder.

“Wow he has issues!” Camilla mommy milkers exclaimed.

That night, Corrin scribbled into their diary instead of responsibly planning the next battle.

“Dear diary.” Corrin bitched.

“Takumi hates me for literally no reason. Wtf even is his problem?!

-Super Triggered.”

“OMG CORRIN! Have you planned for the next battle?” Jakob asked.

“SHUT UP JAKOB, I HAVE PLOT ARMOR!!” Corrin screeched.

Later, Elise fell violently ill and Ryoma refused to let them get medicine, and Corrin yelled at them that they were a jerk despite killing Hoshido’s queen, civilians, and terrorizing their kingdom (also Nohr kinda did the same thing in Birthright to Takumi soooo.. payback?) so they were forced to break a bunch of poisonous pots with only one healer. Then they encountered Takumi again while trying to quell a totally reasonable and expected uprising.

“Wow, dad’s kinda mean. I should just ignore it though.” Corrin remarked.

Hans decided to come and “help” after giving a totally fake apology in which Corrin was immediately like

“Ok, I believe you!”

“Yo.” Takumi said, shooting Corrin with an arrow.

“OH MY GODS THERE’S A PERSON HERE?!” Corrin screeched.

“I’VE BEEN HERE THE WHOLE TIME, MORON!” Takumi fired back. “I’m literally standing in the dark with a glowing bow!”

“You could have killed me!” Corrin whined, making Takumi face-palm.

“That was the point!”

Then Scarlet showed up.

“Wow, traitor.” Camilla mommy milkers whined.

“Corrin literally did the same thing.” Takumi deadpanned.

“OMG CORRIN!! LEAVE THEM ALONE THEY’RE PERFECT!” Elise simped.

“QUIET NOHRIAN SCUM!” Takumi snapped, firing.

“Wow ok hater. If you’d just have a reasonable discussion, my totally fair ruler of a dad would end this peacefully even though we keep launching unprovoked attacks on you.” Corrin said.

“If I kill all Nohrians, maybe this head pain will go away.” Takumi muttered, and everyone conveniently ignored Takumi’s obvious mental struggles.

Once again, Nohr won. Azura ignored Takumi’s clear signs of possession, Hans went on a killing spree, Corrin weakly protested in which Hans replied

“Nope. Daddy Garon said so.”

“Where’s the justice?!” Corrin gasped stupidly.

“Meh. Idk.” Camilla mommy milkers replied. “But Daddy Garon will kill me if I disobey so just ignore all red flags.”

“Ok, I believe you!” Corrin said.

Later, there was an assassination attempt on Daddy Garon by this songstress who looked and sounded exactly like Azura but totally wasn’t for some reason. After that Azura conveniently showed Corrin a magical crystal that showed them that Daddy Garon was GASP a slime monster!!!

Hm.. should I tell my siblings? Corrin pondered, then started glitching out.

“T-too m-m-much l-logic!”

Nah, let’s just destroy Hoshido and disregard everyone’s feelings. Especially Takumi. Screw that guy.

Corrin’s next “adventures” involved killing some guys for his boots (in the name of peace ofc), almost getting blown up by ninjas while also escorting Saizo through his suicide attacks for one measly speedwing. Corrin also had to take a good look for like an hour or so before using a dragon vein lest their army be cut off.

Then they saved the Hoshidan royals, everyone went OMG CORRIN!! (Except Takumi, who was so reasonably salty by this bs, he threw himself across the table when Hinoka asked him to pass the salt) Elise bullied Sakura, Corrin became a furry killer, Xander got beat up by some wind and a pack of Bolt Naginata using Falcon Knights. Oh, also Lilith died at some point and we’re all supposed to care for some reason.

Then Corrin beat up a small child (aka Sakura) in the name of peace, tied her up, and had her watch a bunch of defenseless soldiers get brutally murdered right before her eyes right after promising peace because Daddy Garon said so. And then at last came the fateful day that inspired this whole tale in the first place. Oh how differently it was going to end today. Because a devilish one-eyed thief paid our favorite second prince of Hoshido a nice visit and left him a nice little present…

“Ow, what the hell are these hard objects?!” Corrin yelped, ripping one out of their bare foot.

They were at the Great Wall of Suzanoh, aka Takumi’s wall of doom. Filled with the frustrated screams of Fire Emblem players alike. And at the very top of the wall stood Takumi in all his silver pineapple-haired glory, Fujin Yumi in hand.

“Your invasion of Hoshido ends now, Corrin!” Takumi yelled. “Everywhere in Hoshido is covered in LEGO. I hope you feel the excruciating pain we felt when you chose Nohr-“

“SCREW THIS! I’M PLAYING BIRTHRIGHT!!” Corrin yelled.

“You’re.. what?” Takumi asked in confusion, then Corrin performed an Emmeryn off the wall.

“…..”

Takumi watched Corrin fall with a neutral look on his face.

“Oh look..”

His expression abruptly shifted.

“..The trash took itself out. ..Wait.”

Then he saw Iago The Douche Bird Mage cackling with delight and fired an arrow, knocking him off the wall too.

“There.” Takumi said, his expression back to normal.

Meanwhile, Hinata was paging curiously through a book a certain daydreamer dropped during the fight.

“..Hey Lord Takumi? Some Nohrian weirdo wrote a romantic story about you and…. Prince Leo?! They called it.. Leokumi?”

“Oh, is that so?” Prince Takumi replied calmly, his hazel gaze shifting to Leo, who was calling Forrest a disgrace and calmly fired another arrow, knocking Leo off the wall too.

“Perfect.”

Then Takumi went to defeat Nohr, married the beautiful Goddess of Fate (named Robyn) then went to live happily ever after.

Niles: Meanwhile in someone else’s Fire Emblem Fates play through~

Happy April Fool’s Day lmao. Real chapter of Redemption will be out Sunday xD