#this server and these eggs are taking up my entire brain

[artdemon20]

Tallulah’s memorial in the potato farm in honor of Technoblade ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[dumbass-duo-showdown]

Propaganda masterpost for desertduo

They are two idiots thinking eachother's udeas are good and then somehow winning

They are two idiots thinking eachother's udeas are good and then somehow winning

They don’t have a single brain cell between them. They poked the goat to “see what would happen” and ended up getting their bases covered in duped ender dragon eggs.

Particularly in Hermitcraft, they are the most chaotic together. Chaotic in the most stupid of ways. Example: they blew up an intricate machine from one of the most "threatening" people on the server, stopped posting for a while, tried fixing it and failed, and tried apologizing with diamonds (Grian), theme park gifts (Scar), and by calling the victim "handsome" and "smart" and everything they could think of. And THEN, when Doc (the victim) retaliated with very intricate pranks that take a lot of skill and knowledge, they teamed up, went to the perimeter they were banned from as their alter egos as a loophole, and FILLED the ENTIRE PLACE (and it's a ginormous hole down to bedrock, many chunks wide) with CHICKENS. Just. A lot of chickens. Chickens everywhere. Oh my god. And another thing. Grian loves pressing buttons, like ADORES it (that's how the machine broke in the first place) and Scar... well. He gets confused easily and also breaks a lot of machines. So when people in the server build stuff, they have to both Grian-proof it (make sure an overexcited person who loves pressing buttons won't break the system) and Scar-safe it (make sure it's easily understandable and won't be broken like that). But now they also have to GRIAN-AND-SCAR-PROOF their stuff, because i swear, they multiply each other's dumbassery like by 100. And all that is just from the current arc of Hermitcraft season NINE. If we go back to season eight for a second, Grian decided to fake being AFK in all his friends' bases, and when he got to Scar's, Scar built him a ROLLERCOASTER RIDE to the BOAT TOTEM (boatem) HOLE THAT GOES BEYOND BEDROCK. People constantly fell there in the season and it was hell gearing themselves back up. But Scar was sure they were gonna land on the boatem and thought Grian was asleep because of time differences. But he failed and both died either way. And good fucking thing Grian was watching it all happen. Scar was SINGING him a SONG. You could even HEAR HIM COMING UP WITH IT BEFORE THE ACTUAL RIDE. Scar by FAR had the BEST reaction to the AFK experiment. And GODDD they're such idiots together. Unless they're in it for survival (aka the Life series) in which case Grian basically becomes his nanny let's be real. Scar is way too prone to die. He dies literally all the time and someone's gotta have him on a leash.

grian thinks that hes the responsible one in the dynamic but really hes just as much a chaos gremlin as scar is

they enable each other constantly. fellow builders to friends to enemies to friends to enemies to f

they share two braincells with each other and they do not work half the time. The number of things they fucked up is not even countable. One of them will be like "I'll save you!" and then both of them need someone to come and save them. They also are connected at the hip and love to annoy each other and other people so so much. they need help

They are so. so. Pesky british bird who loves explosions and has an attention span of 2 + catboy scammer who likes to lick magic and die badly. They are perfect for each other and their friendship is so precious to me. They are canonically soulmates. Currently theyre camping out on the edge of their enemy's giant hole because they accidentally exploded his machine together while Grian was procrastinating. The situation escalated because Grian likes war and Scar likes chaos so now theyre sitting directly in the path of their enemy's giant TNT-pooping goat mecha. Their plan? Build a buttercup-themed mecha to fight it because buttercups are poisonous to goats

They have caused a lot of chaos and destruction due to their lack of braincells /pos

Scar dragged Grian to the desert on a llama to monopolize on its sand, they blew up their friend’s tunnel bore, and rode a roller coaster together. They just bounce a braincell back and forth basically.

They ping pong a brian cell between each other and the few times it produces a thought the idea is always a bad one

they have two brain cells between them and they are not sure where they left them, they actively search for trouble and act sincerely shocked when it bites them on the ass, very orange cat coded if you ask me

Things only work out for them by pure luck. They both think they have the braincell and will be the one to pull each other through but they are both wrong. Tripping over their own feet and stumbling so hard and yet still coming out on top just because the others fall over harder

They get in a room together and its like all braincells disappear. They blew up their neighbors redstone, they filled his base with thousands of chickens, they die nonstop, they bully the other (in a friendly way) constantly and then do the exact same thing, theyre dunbasses ur honor

Theyre literally, just an echochamber of dumb. They actively lose braincells when around eachother. Grian seems smart and calculated but he can never get anything to work properly and scar is just an absolute hazard to himself and grian tries to keep him safe. They both die in minecraft so much. Grian also just has a habit of pressing every button lever or chest he ever sees. Even if its an obvious trap. He breaks stuff so easily. Grian WILL press the big button on top of the tnt block thats in plain sight. Especially right after scar says "i wonder what that does". Theyre duo can be summed up to trickster dumbass and dumbass with a heart of gold. They literally started a prank war by accidentally blowing up someones redstone. They are the unattended children on every server theyre in.

long live the science bros.

One owed the other a life debt for killing them with a creeper (it was just a prank, bro) and so they spent the season trying to monopolize all of the sand in a desert, and that's jusr scraping the surface of how stupid they are.

[before-calamity]

Ul'dah Loading Tunnel

I didn't mean to post this today, but here we are.

In 1.0 Ul'dah, the Gate of Nald (which is the gate that leads out to Central Thanalan right in front of the Quicksand) is closed. The reason why is because of everyone's favorite 1.0 feature - loading tunnels and seamless zones! We will take a look at the tunnel, and I'll show what happens when you skip the tunnel.

What you have to do is go through an alleyway, which leads you to this tunnel:

Like the other loading tunnels, this is just a long, featureless tunnel. It goes around parts of the map, with exits leading you to various Ul'dah places, such as Sapphire Blvd Exchange. If you're coming in from Thanalan, you take either a right or a left, and go through the tunnel until an opening, and there you are in Ul'dah.

Now, this is interesting placement, because in this private server, I can nudge my character forward a certain number of yalms, meaning I can bypass the loading tunnel entirely. What happens if I do so? Place your bets now.

If you say go into an Ul'dah void of NPCs, interactable objects and a very creepy ambience, you are right.

Playing on this private server is fairly unnerving itself just because of how the land is completely devoid, and sometimes my brain will play a trick on me and lead me to hear footsteps of players not actually there, but being in an area that I know have NPCs but not spawning them? The world itself looks fine. Ul'dah is there, collisions and all. No music plays. Just some ambient wind noise which is fairly also unnerving. It felt like I was in some creepypasta version of Ul'dah. This loading tunnel is kind of an easter egg in modern XIV as well.

(It feels very strange posting a picture of EW here, but whatever) That door that's behind my character would've lead to the loading tunnel in ARR. There is another on it on the other side that would've lead to the other side of Ul'dah as well. [In case you are wondering, part 2 of the DRG skills overview will come tomorrow or Monday, just didn't feel like putting it up. Check out the reblogs and the comments for that post, because there are some interesting information there, and leads me to my next post.]

[tooti-fruiti]

WALTEN FILES THEORY

Some people are trying to decide who or what "Bon" is.

I personally believe "Bon" is a demon.

Demons can't give away their real names because that would give power to the person (or people) who knows their name.

So this demon goes by the name "Bon". (Which would explain the quotation marks)

"Bon" also does some really fucked up things in the name of "beauty".

As he says "you can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs."

Now some people think "Bon" is Jack Walten's ghost. Which can't be the case, because as of right now, Jack is still alive.

(I know this because of the little scavenger hunt Martin Walls made called Find Jack Walten. And in that scavenger hunt it says something along the lines of "Jack is not dead. He is still alive. Find him.")

And I saw a theory that said "Bon" is the embodiment of Jack's anger and sadness. Which is an interesting theory, but doesn't make a whole lot of sense.

"Bon" isn't an embodiment of rage. If he was, he wouldn't be taking the time to try to comfort Susan into her new life as Banny.

I also think that if he were an embodiment of rage and sadness, he wouldn't be talking about making the people he's killed beautiful."

For the longest time, I thought Bon was Felix. I thought that Felix drove himself crazy because he accidentally killed Edd and Molly, ended up killing himself, possessing Bon, and killing everyone who knows or is affiliated with what he did.

Which would explain the scene in Walten Files 3 where Bon is kind of shaking while flashes of Edd and Molly surround him.

But now that we know Bon is possessed by someone who calls himself "Bon", it makes everything more complicated.

I'm happy we know who's possessing Bon now because we've been wondering that for years.

But that does make the aforementioned scene a little confusing.

Unless this demon is somehow affiliated with the Walten Family, I don't understand why Bon would shake around like that and then hide in his hands at the death of Edd and Molly.

Maybe the original plan was for Felix to be Bon when Walten Files 3 released.

But then as years passed, maybe the story changed just a little bit because that can happen.

And Martin Walls decided to go in a new direction with Bon and who's possessing him.

But then again, maybe not. Because we can see "Bon" possessing Bon in the first episode.

The eyes we see in Bon in The Walten Files 1 are "Bon". (It's also worth mentioning that I don't think "Bon" likes light)

(Another small thing I wanted to add is that in the Walten Files 3, during Susan's death, we see Bon with his hand right in her face. Which is a really cool detail because in the next episode, we see Bon reach for Susan's face to mutilate it [or it could be when Bon goes to snap Susan's neck because we see a similar frame there as well])

(Another thing that has nothing to do with this. The song that plays when Ashley is killed is called "Ashley's happy hour" which implies that it took an entire hour to dismember her and stuff her into Billy. However, in a discord server that Martin Walls made, he said that he thinks during Ashley's death, when she saw Bon, she passed out and woke up 30 minutes later to being torn apart. So she didn't suffer the whole hour which sounds better than being tortured for an hour)

(One more thing, when Sophia plays Spot the difference, there's one picture of Billy plays with a car. In the second picture, there's two red figurines and Billy is holding a black one. Which makes me believe that Felix is the shadow man)

Also I think "Bon" knows who he wants to put each person inside. Susan for example has a long face kind of like Banny. Charles kind of looks like Boozoo. Rosemary has hair like Sha. And Ashley kind of had hair like Billy.

I don't know, I just woke up and my brain is fried.

I'll make another post in a few minutes showing all the secrets I find in each episode

Please let me know what you guys think in the comments

[bluiex]

my brain is just filled with thoughts of pregnant Jimmy during the crossover. he’s barely showing before the hermits arrive/the rift festival (joel is the father so he knows, scott also knows because of his magic eye (you can’t tell me that jimmy and joel’s child wouldn’t have hella magic)) and no one suspects anything

when the hermits arrive, he’s about 2-3 months in and is showing a little. grian shows up in tumble town, does the whole ‘you’re not even safe in your own server’ speech, and then pauses. he stares at jimmy for a bit, before rushing forward and pulling him into a hug. jimmy is very confused before grian whispers to him “why the hell didn’t you tell me!? we’re talking about this properly later” and jimmy realises that he knows. (scars standing there very confused, and joel is slowly piecing together that grian knows)

grian is unnaturally clingy with jimmy, confusing the hell out of everyone. jimmy decides that that’s the perfect time to tell everyone that he’s pregnant and everyone freaks (in a good way). i’m just imagining the entire server just doting on jimmy and giving him gifts (which avian brain appreciates)

when they all go through to hermitcraft, jimmy’s about 7-8 months and is very tired. he just wants this whole pregnancy thing to be over. grian instantly takes jimmy to the entity, to grian’s nest (let’s pretend all the shulkers aren’t there lmao) and just puts him in it, not allowing anyone in (because jimmy’s his flock and bird brain must protect flock and egg). this works until a very angry blazeborn is threatening to burn down the server if he doesn’t get to see his mate (i am a big fan of joel being a blazeborn, it also means that jimmy has a type lmao). joel is allowed into the nest and jimmy instantly drags him in and demands cuddles, putting his wings over joel so he has no way to escape. joel just gives jimmy all his warmth (even though the egg isn’t out yet, he’s still gotta keep it warm).

- a new anon, is 🥀 taken? if so then 🪺, 🐚, or 🏵 is good! (also sorry for the long ask!)

The wilted rose and star flower thingy is taken, so the other two will work perfectly!

AAAHHH I LOVE IT I LOVE IT

Okay Joel being blazeborne I think fits him so well.. Cuz he's just prone to those out bursts that come with being blazeborne lmao

AND JIMMY. BEING SO DOTED ON AAAH

Grian definitely becoming so protective of him and only letting Jimmy and Joel inside the neat <333

[colored-comas]

are there any autistic characters if so what are their safe foods,what are their special interest and how do they sims/what is their favorite stim - bun

Ah! The entire writing team is autistic, we met in our special education class in school, so a lot of our characters are autistic. This question has absolutely made my day, thank you so much.

Now let's get started -

Adam, the main character, is autistic and while he doesn't necessarily have any direct safe foods, we do write him having sushi quite often. They don't have many food issues with texture and taste, surprisingly. Adams special interest is music, and they create their own music as well, it's a big part of his character development. As for stims? Hes most commonly vocal stimming, which causes his friends to poke or mess with different parts of their body like a soundboard. He also does a lot with his face, like scrunching or just nose and lip twitching, like a bunny.

Star, keeping true to his catboy self, their safe food might also be sushi or something fish related. Though, he does have issues with anything that holds any type of incredibly strong scent. As for special interest? Definitely Fire Emblem, which is due to his writer projecting themself onto the character. Stimming for him is usually compression based, weighted or big stuffed animals they can hold and hug or squeeze. For example, they have a rather large cat plushie in their work office. The plush takes up half of his entire desk space.

Ty definitely has clear answers to this which is almost surprising. His safe foods are steak, or other harder to chew meats. Hes over-half dragon, so chewing food is a battlefield unless its tough, he bites his own mouth a lot. Special interest? Minecraft mobs, his dragon appearance is very similar to the ender dragon, and his daughters resemble endermen, so he has strong love for those mobs. His favorite forms of stimming are all related to his wings and flapping them, or flying.

Barney is the easiest answer so far. Safe food is eggs, special interest is nature and life on earth, and his stims are usually full body stims like little bounces or rocking. They have very animated body language.

Mike is harder to answer for, as they are a system and have many different opinions. So I'll just answer for their main host, his safe food is apples or pork - which is the type of meat to most resemble human. His special interest in specifically in The Flash, alongside the human brain and its functions. His biggest and favorite forms of stimming is biting things or chewing on things. They have razor sharp teeth, so navigating those ways of stimming can be hard, as a joke one day - someone bought them a hard dog chew toy. They loved it.

Rory is easy as well, his safe food is anything pineapple or mango flavored or any kinds of tree nuts. Their special interest is minecraft, specifically the command blocks and redstone, they are the most talented in those areas and usually set up those things on the groups servers. He also has an interest in psychology, and went to college for that. For a baby-faced boy, they can be scarily good at analyzing people and calling them out. As for his stimming, definitely elongated vocal stims or big body stims like rocking.

Max, my character, is very similar to me in this case. His safe food is very simple, kraft mac n cheese. Because that is the best thing ever in my own opinion. He has an absolutely awful gag reflex, and can't handle anything with odd textures. His special interest is in ARGs or decoding things, because of this he really likes Gravity Falls. Stimming for him is usually harmful, but he does do a form of hand flaps, instead of open palms he does fists. Yes, he has accidentally punched his own leg or face. And yes, all of this is based on or taken from myself.

And because I don't want this post to get to long, I'll give one more character but please know that you can ask for any of them from the list and I will answer that if they're one of our many autistic characters!

Finally, Andrew is autistic. His safe foods are very simple, either crackers or chicken nuggets. He has a special interest in coding, like making little websites or coding things into games like mods. His stims are always very pressure based, weighted blankets or tight hugs from his boyfriend.

[blackvahana]

So you may have seen it's been a hot minute since I talked about the Mira. Well! Well. yeah. well.

À lots been going on, I mean first of all I guess this is how I work 24/7 where I start things and put them back down again because it's either time or not time for things... But also the Kos mask needs to take a huge backseat because I'm more interested in what I am that resonates with this fictional character. I'm so much more interested in the Mother of Eyes than the (fictional character we happen to have a tag for called Mother of Eyes). But the Mira... They're odd. I see them almost like eye floaters, in that they have my specific brand of Madness: they are inside the eyes, inside, moving around like parasites in the vitreous humor. They evolve into what you expect them to be, like my psychosis inducing Madness does - it follows your own line of thinking and tightens the mirrors of your eyes that watch reality until you're looking at yourself withour noticing - they evolve as tiny vision instances and are definitely... atomic particles as the fluctuations in a field comparable to the field of my own existence

I put them down after realising I was seeing them as squid things when they're really ("really") just little points of distortion in reality - and they aren't fully made or birthed, they're usage of the Unborn. Which. Can you fucking tell why this came out attached to the Kos mask? Imagine Kos dragging her beached body around surrounded by floating foetuses that are half recognisable pan-foetus (foetuses for many species look the same), half hallucinogenic squid things blinking in and out of existence like a hoard of bubbles, or eyes... Yeah that was just the shit happening in the astral lmfao. But there's more to us than appearances, which was part of the lesson.

I got a litttllleeee annoyed, for reasons I absolutely have discussed now so you can guess, at the fact that they werent manifested and grounded and real, so I left them alone for a while, but uh. No. They were exactly what they needed to be. There's use in the entire spectrum between Mental and Astral, a good chef knows how to work with breast and thigh but a great one knows how to use all of the chicken, because where would chicken flavoured things the world over be without stock made from bone and discarded meats. They're supposed to be fluctuations and distortions in reality...

The only thing now is the dawning awareness they're, again, fluctuations on a field, and the field is hungry. The field has wants and needs. Like the Flock, they're pecking at my consciousness but in an entirely different way, surfacing like tumours on the brain, worming their way into and out of my skin, talking to me in things like that vision there of them cut up and boiled alive in stew to be eaten. This is all. normal. for how I talk lmfao it's comforting to be able to be myself nowadays, but specifically they convey two things with it: a need to be made into things, selves, to have selves, and they hunger and want to be fed and created and birthed

It's such an odd part of me that they have. It's... Not motherly anymore, it's visceral parenthood in the way of a bloated pregnant pale-like-a-whale body, part fish, part god, part environment itself like if you walked into a server room one day and one of the machines was just a hanging human torso squishy and blending into the machine parts, not distressed, simply existing as it always had.

Lev wanted to create things with me in the way of conception, and I think that's probably why these are surfacing. I'm not... entirely sure on that? They feel like they could be eggs used to birth things into the. my god. we are abyssal today. Birth things into the depths, but I wonder if that's not more an Unborn thing in general rather than the Mira, which seem to be a specific kind of mirror built from the Mercury of Madness.

Either way. They're back. They're hungry. They're really sweet actually they aren't the mechanically chittering laughing corvids of the Flock, they're so much... oh. god. so much like how Lev presents as the ever-watchful foetus in the bottom of the Abyssal depths, wide-eyed, sweet, just waiting. Huh. yeah. I forget we're...... similar

[enderwalking]

I disappear for one single day to deal with irl stuff and miss your birthday??? Unbelievable, happy belated birthday!!

I get what u mean about aus sometimes just being about the vibes, I think why I'm so hung up on tomoyo in particular (other than my brain being a nightmare that wants No Holes in The Story) is I'm mentally fiddling with a kurogane ctechno's backstory to keep the anarchism in play, so already the role of tomoyo has gotta be a bit different. And because of that my brain wants to figure out All the changes, and what those would mean for c!techno in this au. Rotating him in my head and demanding to know who his catalyst is and all that. Who looked at a violent c!techno in this au and said "we're gonna get you some standards for killing. And also make you a pawn in multiverse chess. Have fun!"

Yuuko cgeorge would definitely be a vibe, and it's easy to make cdream feiwong reed work (the atrocities! The holding onto the past! He would be more than willing), but I think what I like so much about the reverse is where the base motivations lay? Feiwong reed is clinging onto a single person at cost of everything else. Which reads as very similar to c!dream in canon clinging onto a version of the world that no longer exists, but phrase that another way: his base motivation lies in the world being changed in a way he views as negative, and trying to prevent that change/bring it back to its previous state where its already been changed. Which is also what yuuko is doing! It's just that we view yuuko as being in the right because she's. You know. Preventing the collapse of the multiverse. Doing less atrocities. It would be a characterization of c!dream that would borrow a bit more heavily from early days smp I think, but with the pragmatism and bastard energy of current lore. Or maybe not even that, maybe it's just a question of, who does cdream become if his allegiance is no longer happy memories of an 8 person server of friends, but instead the smooth functioning of a multiverse? What is he like if he has different eggs (<- cursed metaphor but whatever it gets the point across)

Also with the whole plot point of feiwong reed being theorized to be like... a fragment of Clow formed entirely from the wish to keep yuuko alive, I think it would be neat to put an earlier days, somewhat kinder and more friendly cdream up against a late days cgeorge who has become so single minded in focus, who cant tolerate the world as it currently exists. To have cdream remembering an early days cgeorge while dealing with the current cgeorge. And yet, the things one could do with cdream and dreamxd if we go the cgeorge is yuuko route...

Oh I figured out my hang up, it's that I can picture a world where cdream chooses the world over cgeorge, especially if cgeorge has become antagonistic to said world, but I struggle to picture a world where cgeorge wouldn't sacrifice the world to keep cdream. However, I also am not a cgeorge or c!dnf scholar, so I'm very open to being told I'm wrong on this bit

yeah trc is especially difficult to cast full aus for considering that there are so many characters that are all so intertwined and it's like, sometimes you just gotta take a character concept and strip it down and run LMAO. like in my ffx au ctubbo's role is most analogous to rikku's role in the game. they are not similar in vibe in the least, but it Works okay i PROMISE.

the thing that is off to me about cgeorge as feiwong is like. cgeorge is so profoundly defined by apathy and inaction? and even in his stream about destroying everything and becoming a god, it's not out of some desperate drive towards an end goal, if anything it's the complete opposite. this is cgeorge essentially throwing in the towel, he's giving up on the entire world but he's also decided to make it the whole world's problem in the process. if his dream hadn't literally handed him the tools for the job, he probably wouldn't have gone on nearly such a rampage; think about how quickly he gave up mining down his statue: "it's such a chore to even destroy myself". that's not to say cgeorge is incapable of fighting for things, but his coping mechanism of choice is not to dig in his heels or press onwards, but instead is to just. give up. disengage. and his constant dreaming just enhances that sense of passiveness.

so yeah i feel like cgeorge in a yuuko-esque role where he's like. trapped in stasis. forced to inaction in some ways. and is trying to fix things to an extent but is limited in his scope just by the nature of his existence? yeah. idk. but also i will confess that some of the finer details of yuuko's stuff does escape me as it has been a Hot Minute since i've reread so i could be bullshitting here LOL. also i think that if cdream had to play multidimensional chess and create a 9000 step plan to ruin lives across the whole of reality all for cgeorge's sake that he would 100% do it in a heartbeat and that arguably you could interpret his actions in canon to be him doing just that, so there's that as well

[hangezoeenthusiast]

God(hcs)

c!multiple x god!reader

notes: the reader will be the god of death to make it a little bit more spicy :). c!punz’s pronouns are he/they, i’m not sure about the others, but i know theirs. also why does ranboo take away my gender? /j

word count: 1,672

warnings: arson, violence, cursing, yelling, mention of death, voices in technos part, spoilers for wilbur if you haven’t watch tommy’s lore stream, revival for wilbur, making a religion, time travel, egg, prison, stealing, anarchy, playful name calling

Sapnap

so obviously y’all would be a great match :)

you have creative mode, so when sap would ask you to give him a lighter and tnt, you would GLADLY give it

also, can we talk about him being a nether hybrid

fire squared

like fires left and right, hide your mom and your children in your house lol /j

but besides the whole arson thing, you favor him above anyone else on the server

like if he asks for diamond blocks, well here’s a whole inventory of it, also, here’s some ancient debris and some netherite

if someone asked, you would probably grant them with poison and curses, just because you can’t be “unloyal” to snapchat 

wouldn’t be lonely anymore

Dreamwastaken

this duo is less chaotic, but chaotic enough where people avoid you

he still asks you for stuff, but most of the time, you don’t give him it because he annoys you too much about giving stuff

“hey y/n/n, can i pretty please get some emerald blocks.”

“nope bitch, get it yourself.”

but sometimes, you grant him some op shit, when it’s your good day

“because i’m being nice, here’s some diamond, now, don’t ask me again you little piss baby.”

“shut your trap y/n.”

“or what homeless teletubby, what are you going to do to a god like me?”

“you hang out with technoblade to much.”

Georgenotfound

maybe the least chaotic duo

you guys keep on relaxing and relaxing until the point where you don’t do anything

he barely asks you for anything, but only when it’s really really important, like a house or build

especially when he was building his little cottagecore house, he needed your godly presence to help

“y/n, what should the roof be made of?”

“i suggest brick, it makes it more aestheticy if that makes any sense.”

also barely any drama or tea with you guys

never arguing and never betraying each other is a must

Tubbo

also another least chaotic duo

literally help him with his bee farm, he will (platonically) love you forever

gotta be close to ranboo, that’s the rule

gives him SO much stuff, he’s a precious boi 🙄

also gotta be close to tommy, but not as much unfortunately

you help him pick out things for builds, like what material clashes with another, etc

“do you think that the wool and the netherite blocks look good together y/n?”

“nah, what i suggest is the wool with the gold, it looks perfect.”

sometiems, gotta put him in check because he gets a little ego built up

you definitely yank his horn a little too hard because of your IMMENSE STRENGTH

“OW, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT Y/N.”

“calm down sunny, you were just getting a bit over your head a little.”

Tommyinnit

chaotic duo like sapnap

snaps at anyone who annoys you and vice versa

you give him EVERYTHING, obviously except op and creative

he tries to persuade you to do something, but dreamxd wouldn’t allow it, since he is the main boss

“come on y/n, give me op.”

“no tommy, xd will kick my ass.”

“pweaseee.”

“no.”

you would DEFINITELY help him with the Big Innit Hotel, making the whole layout and color palette.

both of you have an intense hatred for ranboo, since he “stole” tubbo away from tommy

Ranboo

least involved in everything

just stay in the tundra and drink some tea, and you’re good for all of your life

helps him get netherite all the time so your boii can get the good stuff 😬

when he mines to get diamonds, he literally prays to you

“y/n, if you’re listening, please give me a 6 vein, i desperately need it for my collection of diamond blocks.”

and THERE IT IS

more than a 6 vein actually, a 12 vein

guess he needs to pray to you more

daily tea sessions, to talk about the good stuff, and NO, and i repeat NO skipping

threatening to flick water on him check ✅

Wilbur Soot

literally you spoil him

not to be angsty, but when he died and lost his last canon life, you revived him instead of Dream

now he’s practically at your knees

like he’s thinks that he owes you, but actually that’s the opposite

he was revived because you were lonely, and wanted your best friend back :(

prays to you when he goes to bed

“hey y/n, hope you’re having a great day, (platonically) love you.”

“love you too mortal.”

sometimes, to be at the peak of godness, you shower upon wilbur as gold to symbolize blessings, like zeus did before

“omg y/n, what are you doing?”

“i’m trying to bless you, shut up bitch.”

just saying, he would make a religion about you :/

Karl Jacobs

omg don’t get me started on this

first, you wouldn’t codone him going back in time

he would definitely forget your name a lot, so that’s why you hated it

“hey karl, how are you doing?”

“i’m sorry, but do i know you?”

ANGST IS TOO MUCH FOR ME

you were definitely the one to push him towards sapnap and quackity

this is also another spoiled boi

give him the entire world while you’re at it pwease

he wants a few diamonds, nope, give him a chest full of them

Quackity

why are there so much chaotic duos in here?

literally chaos times infinity

energy to the max

literally, did you take an energy drink

grants him every wish he can randomly think off

“can i get a bucket with lava and a fish in it?”

“weird choice, but ok man.”

gotta be close to sap and karl or he isn’t your friend anymore /j

helps with las nevadas a lot, and definitely tries to rig the machines so you get money

“hey big q, i got 10,000 dollars.”

“that’s impossible... y/n, did you cheat?”

“nooo 😊”

help him preen his wings, and he goes “I LOVE YOU, MWAH MWAH.” obviously in his mind 🙄

Awesamdude

definitely helps him maintain the prison

you both love setting up red stone contraptions and pistons and all that giz

“hey sam, do you know where the redstone torches are?”

“yeah, there behind the pistons in the back.”

also you helped build the prison, since he could do that by himself

“are you sure that lava wall will work y/n, your calculations seem inaccurate.”

“i’m sure sam, this will add some more security to this goddamn server.”

nerd squared lol

BadBoyHalo

wouldn’t condone the egg

you warned him multiple times to get away from its grasp, but most of the times he’ll decline

“i won’t y/n, the egg is the future.”

he still, even after all the advancements, even after everything, he tries to ask you to join the eggpire

“come on y/n, you’ll like being with us.”

“i don’t wanna be on a stupid egg side, like let me crack the egg, i wanna eat it and turn it into a omelette.”

he doesn’t like that joke :(

but before he discovered the egg, both of you were joint at the hip

sight seeing was a must

languages being thrown around everywhere, since you were the little language muffin

Punz

steals stuff from everyone

hide your stuff, because the punzo-y/n team is unstoppable

definitely they can be really stubborn and indecisive

like one day, he will be like, “i need gold blocks.” and the next, “nevermind, i need netherite actually.”

like hon, stop switching

also anarchy buddies

burning down forests and buildings are your guys’s specialty

when you give him gold when they doesn’t ask, his heart goes brrr and his brain goes, “pog pog, they’re so cool, lets hug them.”

Technoblade

now this is the most deadly duo in the entire Dream Smp

better not piss you guys off 😐

he’s the Blood God, and you’re the God/Goddess/God being of Death

so if some occasion where you need to battle someone, like Techno’s enemies, *clears throat and murmurs Quackity*, you will obviously back your boy up :)

help him with enchanting and potions and he’s set for life

also you got have to be close to the great Philza Minecraft since him and Techno are buddy buddy

anarchy squared

helps with the voices since you have some of your own

“so what you’re saying is that i need to pay attention to them?”

“yeah, when i first learned that the voices were in my head, i tried to ignore them, but that sucked. so what i did was try to distract myself with various tasks, and that sucked.”

“so what do i do, you’re saying that i should listen to them, but how do i do that when they literally shout at me.”

“just embrace it, obviously when they do their little chant of blood for the blood god, you have to ignore them.”

“you suck at advice.”

Philza Minecraft

so since both of you resemble death, him being the Angel of Death and you being the God/Goddess/God being of Death, y’all are fucking best friends, platonic soulmates if you will

death squared

watch out, because if you piss them off, prepare to d-

gotta be close to Ranboo and Techno, and obviously others who he platonically likes

he doesn’t need to ask you for stuff, he’s the fricking Angel of Death, but he will ask you to preen his wings :D

“ow, not there y/n.”

“oh shut up grandpa, let me do it.”

“I’M NOT OLD DUMBASS.”

Dream XD

two gods at once, damn there is so much chaos

left and right, you guys are noticed by everyone, like purrrr

y’all would be in some fancy shit, to show your power

you would get jealous of him hanging out with george

“why are you jealous y/n?”

“you’re hanging out with george to much, hang out with me please :(.”

gifts are a must, even though both of you have access to creative

[cdroloisms]

I really love when people write about c!wilbur manipulating c!dream so I was wondering if you could write on about the smp realizing that c!wilbur manipulated c!dream into being a lap dog for him but a hell lot of trouble for then and if you could add c!wilbur taking advantage of the fact that dream is a god during a fight that would make my day. Hope you have a great day.thank you. Love your work.

ooh yeah - c!wilbur is back and GGG-ing as good as ever, , which Really makes you think abt what it’s gonna be like when he interacts with c!dream again. this ended up being a little more c!sapnap centric than i intended, hope that’s alright haha. (and thank you so much for the kind words!) 

tw: implied abuse, torture, drowning, dismemberment, manipulation, unhealthy relationships, emotional distress, dark content, prison arc/pandora’s vault, c!sapnap critical? not really?, dark portrayal of c!wilbur (typical MAD duo shenanigans)

Sapnap isn’t expecting to find anyone when he storms out in the middle of the night - he’s tense, they all are after the fiasco at the prison, but really his thoughts are filled with Karl once again going inexplicably radio silent for days on end and Quackity ignoring all of his questions with a simple “i’m busy” that he’d failed to follow up even twelve hours later, so Dream and Wilbur and whatever the hell happened that left Pandora’s Vault - obsidian, indestructible, tall and dark and proud - half-crumbled and sunken into the sea are just about the last things on his mind.  

Even so, he’s not an idiot, so he had enough foresight to pack a few potions and gather his armor and weapons before stepping into the summer night - it’s cool under the moonlight, a soft breeze cutting through the otherwise stifling weight of the humid air, and the comfortable night is enough to make his anger die down, just a little. Kinoko Kingdom glows soft and warm from the lanterns Foolish had scattered all over the place, thick with the earthy smell of fungus and flowers, and he takes a deep breath before walking to the city outskirts to hopefully clear his mind.

He’s no stranger to late-night walks; his temper had always been fiery, even as a child, and he’d figured out pretty early on that the easiest way to deal with it was to walk or run until his brain was too tired to think anymore. Walking at night also meant he could take out some of his frustration on mobs as well as the satisfaction of setting a random patch of forest on fire without worrying about burning down someone else’s property, and once he got good enough with a sword and shield to come and go relatively unscathed, Bad had stopped his worrying enough to let him do whatever as long as he came back in time in the morning. Sapnap frowns as he hacks at a random branch in his way with an axe, watching as it falls in a spray of leaves and crashes to the ground; he hasn’t seen Bad in a while, not since he became obsessed with the whole Egg thing. Quackity had mentioned some cryptic things, and Karl was adamant that they avoid the Egg as much as possible, but he probably should’ve at least visited, or something. Bad always knew what to say when it came to messy things like this.

Though - Sapnap laughs wryly - it’d never been this bad, before. Karl distant and absent, Q somehow even more so with a new glint to his gaze that sent a shiver down his spine. George, usually asleep, never around, expression perpetually foggy like he doesn’t know where he was. Dream- evil, insane, awful, somehow so familiar it hurt and too much of a stranger to recognize. He wonders when it all got this bad. He wonders what it says about himself, that he didn’t notice until it was far too late.

“Fancy seeing you out here.”

Sapnap whirls around, sword drawn; the figure staring back at him doesn’t even flinch. His eyes narrow at the sight, stance widening, shoulders tense.

“Wilbur?” He keeps his voice wary, guarded, trying his best to keep surprise from coloring his tone. Wilbur grins at him, tight-lipped, the planes of his face faintly lit by the moon shining over them, facial features only barely visible in the dim light. Without really meaning to, Sapnap cranes his head to look around at the surrounding forest, but nothing moves or makes itself known outside of the figure still staring at him, smirking. “What- what are you doing here?”

And where’s Dream?

Because Sapnap might not know much about what went down at the prison and what Dream’s plans are and the whole mess that he’d been so desperate to put behind him and utterly failed at doing so, but what he does know is that the two of them - Dream and Wilbur, Wilbur and Dream - had been all but inseparable, strangely attached to each other in a way that spelled out nothing but trouble for the rest of them. The rest of the server had been compiling sightings of the two in the hopes of being able to stop whatever it was that they had planned, but Sapnap knows his former friend, brother, and even if he doesn’t know Wilbur, his reputation more than precedes him: the two of them are smart, not to mention paranoid as fuck, and the rest of them have a better shot shooting targets in the dark than figuring out whatever the hell was going on in their heads with the two of them working together. Either way, he knows that they’d never been sighted apart - it was always Wilbur standing on a hill with Dream sitting next to him, or Dream hacking through mobs as Wilbur followed, or the two of them stepping into a fortress and leaving minutes after - until now.

“Could ask the same of you,” Wilbur laughs, just a shade to the left of friendly, and the moonlight scatters through the leaves and glints off his glasses. “Don’t be so tense, man! I’m just going on a walk, thought I’d enjoy the night. Didn’t see anything like this in Limbo, you know.”

Sapnap winces at the reminder, that Wilbur is here and alive in defiance of law and reason and the universe itself, but Wilbur barrels on, seeming unaware of his unease.

“Anyway - how are you doing, man? Haven’t seen you around in a while.” He leans back, hands shoved deep in his jacket pockets, stance loose, relaxed. “I’d ask Dream, but he’s been in prison for a bit, you know? Most of what he knows is pretty - ah, outdated, not that I tell him that.”

“What are you planning?” Sapnap snaps, grip tightening around the handle of his sword. “You and Dream. What do you want?”

“Who’s to say we want anything?” Wilbur seems to grin wider, and the expression on his face is unsettling, makes something cold slither up his spine. He shakes his head to rid himself of the feeling, half-wishing it was brighter so he could better see the other’s eyes.

“I mean-” he stutters. Because Dream always wants, he almost says, bitter and angry, that all-too-familar swell of betrayal rising in his chest at Dream, forever insatiated, forever wanting, forever looking for more more more. Because if he were to escape, and if he were to want nothing, then what did that mean for the rest of them? Because if he didn’t want, if he wasn’t left wanting, then did Sapnap ever mean anything at all? The thoughts stick to his skull like tar, words clinging to the roof of his mouth as it goes dry. Wilbur seems to stare at him, unimpressed, and he feels his face go hot.

“He’s not- he’s dangerous, you know,” Sapnap says instead of answering, because untangling the awful, knotted feelings that make up his remaining ties with Dream, half-frayed and neglected and forgotten, is more work than he can handle and more emotions than he has the energy to bear. It doesn’t matter, in the end, because Dream is still dangerous; he knows that, resolutely, and maybe it’s lucky, that he found Wilbur without Dream whispering plans and manipulations and meaningless words by his side. It’ll give him a chance to warn Wilbur, bring him back to their side instead of risking his life (again) in the company of his friend-turned-tyrant. Dream is dangerous, whether he wants or not, because Dream is Dream and he’s been in too many manhunts to face him with anything less than one hundred percent confidence. “You don’t want to be with him, Wilbur. He’s hurt- so many people.”

Wilbur’s expression doesn’t change, seeming as indifferent to the words as ever; if anything, he looks a little amused. “Really,” he hums, almost to himself. “Dangerous, you say?”

“He’s Dream,” Sapnap insists, because it’s the truth, and it’s the simplicity of it, really. It’s Dream, and Dream is dangerous whether he’s on your side or not, forever ruthless and unheeding as long as he gets what he wants. He’d been in Wilbur’s place, once, convinced that Dream’s strategies and planning and infallible logic had meant they had no way of losing. He knows better, now. “You’ve fought him before! He doesn’t care about you. He doesn’t care about anything.”

And if the words are a little more bitter than they should be when he says that, who but he is going to notice?

Wilbur’s eyes stay on his, completely silent, expression unreadable. The quiet gets awkward quickly, Wilbur’s expression seeming unchanging, nothing but the faint rustling of the leaves around them to break the stillness of the air, and Sapnap feels his gut roll uncomfortably as he looks off to the ground, waiting for Wilbur to react in some way, any way. It’s hard, he knows, to realize that someone you thought was on your side had been using you the entire time, he’s been there before and he gets it, but- it’s still strange, how still Wilbur has become. How he still hasn’t reacted - is his expression going to change?

And suddenly, starting quiet and then swelling in volume, Wilbur begins to laugh.

“Goodness,” Wilbur drawls through his chuckles, voice low and dark and sending chills down his back. “I thought he was exaggerating, man - you really do hate him, don’t you?”

“What- what’s so funny?”

Wilbur smiles, teeth flashing white as the faint light from the moon bounces off of them, “I have to give you my thanks, truly. I’d thought that Quackity did the most of it, or Sam, but you- I really couldn’t have guessed.”

Sapnap’s head is spinning. Wilbur’s expression is positively gleeful, eyes dancing, smile wide and brilliant, bouncing from one name to another with little explanation to how any of them tie together. Sam? Quackity? Nothing is making sense. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“Oh Sapnap,” Wilbur croons. “You really don’t know, do you?”

He twists his hand in a flippant gesture, eyes directed into the forest surrounding them.

“Let’s just say that his, ah- stay, in Pandora, wasn’t exactly what I’d call a five-star experience. But you know that, don’t you?” Wilbur directs a flat smile his way, and Sapnap swallows, throat dry. Briefly, images flash behind his eyes - walls, dripping with crying obsidian, the lava’s heat hard to bear at his back, even for him, mining fatigue pulling at his limbs and making them heavy. How startlingly bare the cell had been, even through the haze of his anger, Dream, slumped in a corner of the cell, barely moving, barely even breathing as it seemed sometimes, sunken-in cheeks and sagging shoulders speaking of nothing but a bone-deep exhaustion. “Apparently, being psychologically and physically tortured for months on end has an interesting effect on the human psyche. Even more so when, say, your best friend comes once in the entire time to tell you that he’ll kill you if you ever try to escape.”

“How-” he trips on his own words, lungs seizing, “how do you know that?”

“He tells me things. A lot of things, really. Did you know it takes one and a half regen potions to reattach an arm after it’s been cut off? It takes three and a half for a leg, he thinks, but the blood loss made it rather hard to remember.” Wilbur steps forward. “Did you know that scars created by healing potions tend to be much thicker and more prominent than those made by regens? Or that he can hold his breath for a little more than two minutes before passing out?” Wilbur smirks, jagged, threatening. “Did you know that I can tell him just about everything, and he’ll believe me because there’s no one else to tell him otherwise?”

“Wh- what?”

“I’ll be sure to tell him what you said; I’m sure he’ll love to hear how his brother is doing.” Wilbur waves. “And when you see Quackity, be sure to give him my thanks, will you?”

“Wilbur, what- come back-”

And with a flash of purple particles, Wilbur disappears, leaving Sapnap alone in the middle of the forest. Stasis chamber. His heart pounds in his ears, breathing all-too-loud, and he stares desperately at the empty space where Wilbur had stood like it’ll bring him back again.

Fuck, he swipes his hand across his face, startled when it comes back wet. What does he do now?

[anakirui]

i have created a chart of dsmp parallels i have noticed

/rp /dsmp

explanations below

dream -> skeppy

this ones weird, but if you watch early dsmp clips it makes sense. dream indirectly learned to use emotional attachments over people because of skeppy, and skeppy showed signs that are similar to dream's current character before dream did. i.e. expressing a desire to manipulate tommy (albeit skeppy nor bad acted on this despite discussing it with eachother) and explicitly promoting war and chaos.

adding onto this, skeppy has always wanted control over the server. this is something he basically proved with his own words. (he clarified that the discs have all the control on the server, and then proceeded to try and trade for all of the discs from dream right after saying that using spirit's leather) he also, much like dream, has no emotional attachments but his one exception is badboyhalo as far as we know

bad -> dream

this one is pretty obvious in eggpire bad. in fact, it's so obvious that puffy even writes in her captain's log that he's starting to act like dream- because he is. eggpire bad is very openly manipulative, but what's ironic is that bad before/after the egg arc was manipulative anyways. (l'sandburg, badlands stuff basically, that shit apology he gave for the egg arc that was literally just him dealing with guilt in the worst way possible aka scapegoating ant)

a lot of his parallels to dream are essentially the same parallels that dream makes to skeppy, but there are still some small extra ones. for example, bad canonically steals a lot of people's things and keeps them in his vault... but unlike dream he tries to avoid taking things that are emotional attachments.

also he's broken the rules of his own faction before. l'sandburg was voted to be an outpost by ant and sam (which would overrule his vote to make it an embassy, because that's how their direct democracy or whatever works) only for him to keep stating that it's an embassy and that it belongs to him and skeppy specifically... which is just an abuse of power tbf, my guy is kinda a tyrant-

also bd island is similar to the skeppy jail. ironically. my guy isolated skeppy on an island because the skeppy jail and the egg freaked him tf out when he literally just made the equivalent of the skeppy jail and then pulled a mild exile card on skeppy and basically refused to tell him why he was taking him there except for "you are bad at minecraft" (and no this was not presented in a lighthearted manner. this was presented in a "bad is trying to make skeppy feel inferior" manner.)

bad -> skeppy

this should've been expected. but besides everything mentioned in the two paragraphs above, there is actually more than previously mentioned. bad literally parallels early egg arc skeppy throughout the entire second half of the egg arc. they both deal with loss in reckless ways that ended up affecting most of the server because they can't just fucking communicate or cope properly, they both get very possessive and controlling of eachother if they feel threatened by any external force, they have the same goals and methods, they deny any sort of claim by anyone that they are mistreating eachother (skeppy yelling at puffy when she said he wasn't being emotionally supportive enough to bad, bad yelling at foolish when skeppy apparently wanted to move out (which was a lie btw haha))

karl -> red skeppy

red skeppy is marked as a seperate character here because 3/2 (a bd island stream) establishes skeppy and red skeppy to be two completely different individuals with their own thoughts and feelings about things. this parallel though is extremely obvious if you have watched bad's 4/18 stream and quackity's 11/27 lore stream. karl and red skeppy are both characters who act like absolute dickheads to their loved ones because of their brain being messed with. in karl's case, it's his memory loss from time travel, while in red skeppy's case, it's the egg literally possessing him (3/2 bd island stream has literally expressed the concept that the egg can physically take over c!skeppys body even if he's conscious and speaking. freaky shit.)

quackity -> bad

okay when i first started seeing this parallel back during the egg arc i was genuinely fucking scared. news flash: quackity paralleling him STILL scares me. i really shouldn't even have to explain how obvious 11/27 made this parallel, with them both losing a loved one to lava and having a serious argument with a loved one in one stream as already a major one. but something that's clear (and this is the part that scares me) is that quackity sees bad as this individual that can do no wrong when bad definitely is an individual who has done shitty things, and that's why im terrified when i see him essentially... following into bad's footsteps. because it makes me think, if he ever comes to the conclusion that he is acting like bad, and then has the conclusion that bad can do no wrong, what is that going to say about quackity's morals? like he's already pretty gray but how much would that belief allow him to justify far worse shit that he could possibly do in the future? yeahh...

sapnap -> happyduo

unironically picks up a lot of behaviors from these two. the pet killing probably came from skeppy as they both have a history of threatening/harming animals. despite that, sapnap has a ton of emotional attachments to pets just like how bad does. all three of them also don't really pick sides, but in happyduos case it's more like they're their own respective side and do whatever benefits them while sapnap properly does the people > sides thing.

quackity -> wilbur

pretty sure this has been pointed out like 6363663 times so im too lazy to explain it

sapnap <--> quackity

they do be kinda paralleling eachother like how happyduo does and im also too lazy to explain this either might edit this later

possible parallels:

sapnap - -> wilbur

has quoted him before for some reason, he called el rapids an "unfinished symphony" for example

wilbur - -> bad

has also quoted him before and nobody noticed it, him talking about there being a power vacuum with dream being in the prison and "turning over a new leaf" are both things eggpire bad has literally said

sapnap <- -> foolish

honestly i just want this parallel so bad. as characters they have a lot of similarities so far but i wish there was more. they both have a close individual in their life with memory issues, they both have a history of violence that they've been identified with by some people, they both have actively tried to be peaceful but now they can't, they both have sorta iffy relationships with their parents, they both have a relationship with an elemental power (sapnap is associated with fire, foolish has canonical lightning powers), and both have a ton of pets.

foolish - -> dream

this one barely counts but all i need to say is lmanburg and lsandburg and both of them making plans to kidnap skeppy coincidentally

other than that they're nothing alike, foolish is more of a victim in lsandburg than anything

[doubleleoenergy]

ii. Serial Killer, Lolita Series

Sneak up on you really quiet. Whisper, "Am I what your heart desires?" I can be your ingenue.

Series Masterlist

Pairing: bestfriendsdad!Andy Barber x fem!reader

Warnings: 18+ ONLY, mentions of erection and male masturbation, lewd thoughts, drinking, mentions of domestic violence, murder, and divorce

Words: 2893

Summary: Andy spends an evening with y/n and learns about her hopes, dreams, and sexual relations

Andy Barber was straightening his tie against his grey button down when he walked into the hallway from his bedroom, the smell of bacon wafting through his nostrils as he followed the scent to the kitchen.

“Good morning, Andy.” Y/N’s voice held that sickening sweet seduction he had gotten used to over the past few days. It was seven o’clock in the morning, and the fact that she sounded so chipper had Andy amused. His son was not a morning person, neither were any of the other boys staying with them.

He turns the corner towards the kitchen counter and takes in the sight of her. She’s ready for her first day as an intern for him, though her outfit doesn’t seem to be the most conservative for an attorney’s office. Her tight black skirt with white lines is barely covering her ass, and there’s a small slit up the right side that is showing more skin, if that’s even possible. She’s paired it with a simple black tank top that is cropped to reveal just the tiniest bit of skin on her abdomen, his eyes trailing down her toned legs to her black strappy stilettos that finish off the look. Andy has to look away and busy himself with his briefcase in order to stop himself from coming in his trousers.

“Morning, y/n.” He chokes out, reorganizing the files in a folder he had pulled out. Y/N slides a plate beside him, her heels clicking against the hardwood floor as she walks directly to his side, holding out a freshly brewed cup of coffee.

He takes the cup in his hand appreciatively, eyeing the plate of bacon, eggs, and toast that she had slid over to him. “Thank you, but you didn’t have to do any of this.” Andy takes a sip of coffee before setting his mug down beside the plate, picking up the fork and knife before diving into the meal.

“I know I didn’t have to, but we can’t let you go to the office on an empty stomach, right boss?” She teased, her manicured nails tapping gently on the counter next to him. God how he wished to feel those nails scratching against his scalp.

“Well thank you.” He responds, trying not to think about how she had just called him boss and how it made it incredibly wrong to be thinking about her like he had. The past few days had been rough, watching y/n saunter around the house in her sinful outfits, teasing the other boys and stealing glances in Andy’s direction. He had fucked into his fist every night since he saw her in that damn bikini.

As Andy finished eating y/n cleaned up the dishes, drying them and putting them away where they belonged in the appropriate cabinets and drawers. She was eager for her first day in the office, and honestly happy to be working somewhere where she was already familiar with the boss. 

“That was great, y/n, thank you again.” He wiped his mouth off on a napkin before pulling his briefcase shut, y/n taking his plate and mug and cleaning them in the sink before drying her hands.

“Anytime, I appreciate the carpooling to work as well.” Her fingers reached for her purse on the edge of the counter, following Andy out into the garage and sliding into the passenger seat of his pristine Audi. It was much flashier than her ten-years-too-old Ford Focus. She could get used to this lifestyle for the rest of the summer.

Andy and y/n spent the entire drive to the office making small talk, while Andy tried his hardest not to glance at her supple thighs in her thin skirt. Soon enough they arrived at the office, Andy gesturing for y/n to follow him inside the large office building.

Passing through the doors, Andy says a quick hello to the colleagues he passed, waving them over to gather inside their large conference room.

“Alright everyone, I’ll make this quick. This is y/n, she’s our new intern for the summer so please, be kind and help her to get the most out of her time here.” Andy’s eyes scanned the crowd of people, noticing the way the men in the office all lusted over her, their eyes dark with attraction.

As Andy dismissed everyone, Neal fucking Loguidice strides forward with confidence, extending his hand out to y/n’s. “Neal Loguidice, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” Y/N seems to be enjoying the attention, standing up straighter as she takes his hand in hers. “Thank you, Neal. The pleasure is all mine.”

“How about I show you around the office? You know, as an assistant district attorney I can answer any questions you have about this place.” Before Andy can protest, Neal puts a hand on the small of y/n’s back, guiding her out of the conference room and walking her down the hall. Andy hates the way he grits his teeth, the hand not holding his briefcase forming into a tight fist by his side. Why was he even jealous? He had no reason to be, didn’t he?

Andy spent the rest of the morning answering phone calls and meeting with clients, though he couldn’t help but keep his eyes trained on y/n anytime he left his office. She had picked up lunch for the entire department, created copies for a staff meeting, and was unfortunately still being followed around by that slithering snake Neal. Who did he think he was?

He tried not to let it get to him, but as he walked past y/n’s makeshift desk after a coffee break, he watched as Neal leaned over her. He was teaching her how to scan documents to their respective folders, his eyes staring directly down y/n’s shirt to catch a glimpse of her perky tits. That was it, he had had enough.

“Neal.” Andy clenched his jaw as he spoke, watching as the man’s eyes lingered briefly still on y/n’s tits before meeting his gaze. “A word in my office. Now.” He barked.

Neil walked with confidence into Andy’s office, shutting the door behind him before slumping into the chair in front of Andy’s desk, a smug smile plastered on his face. “What can I do for you, Andrew?” Neal challenged, crossing his left leg over his right.

“You need to keep your eyes and your hands to yourself with y/n, it’s disgusting and she’s one of my son’s best friends. I’m not going to let you disrespect her like that, and neither would HR if they found out.” He growled, his eyes growing dark. Neal puts his hands up in protest before he stands, backing towards the door.

“Whoa, those are some big accusations without any evidence, Barber. I was just showing our intern around.” He’s still got that smug look on his face that Andy wishes to smack off him, though he knows he can’t. Neal opens the office door, walking out and heading back to his own office, leaving y/n to work by herself at her desk.

It was fucked up that he was lecturing Neal about the way he looked at y/n while knowing he’d jerked off into his hand every night fantasizing about her. But he wasn’t acting on anything, it was just some harmless fantasies, he was newly divorced after all. This was just lust, wasn’t it?

The rest of the day went by fast, Andy moving from meeting to meeting with clients and y/n working diligently on getting acquainted with their latest cases and filing the paperwork into the appropriate folders on their server.

Andy shut his office door a little after six o’clock, locking it behind him before strolling over to where y/n sat at her desk, texting on her phone.

“Are you ready to head out for the evening?” He asked, watching as she stood up beside him, only a couple of inches shorter than him in her heels.

“Yes, Jacob just texted me. Him and the guys are out bar hopping with some, as he put it, ‘absolute tens’ and won’t be home until late.” She follows him out of the office building, watching as he locks the front doors behind them before sauntering over to the passenger side of his car.

“That’s fine, why don’t I order us some takeout, I know a little place by the house that serves the best pad thai.” Andy and y/n get into the car as he starts it up, the vehicle roaring to life under them. “I would love that, thank you.” 

It’s a quiet ride back to the office, y/n scrolling through Instagram as the radio plays softly, the car filled with the lyrics to a Lady Gaga song. Andy parks the car back in its usual spot in the garage before walking inside and dropping his briefcase on the counter.

“I’m gonna take a quick shower, I’ll order the food when I get out and then we can relax, I’m sure today was a lot for you to take in.” Andy assured, loosening the tie around his neck.

“That sounds great, thank you Andy.” Y/N bounds up the stairs as well, letting her body muscles relax under the heat of the shower. Downstairs, Andy is doing the same, except he’s got a cold shower running to rid him of his thoughts from the day. How y/n’s skirt would ride up as she bent down to pull a copy from the copier, the way her lips pursed, and brows furrowed perfectly as she focused on her computer screen. How did her little actions send his brain into such a tizzy?

It wasn’t long before he had calmed his thoughts and pulled on a pair of grey sweats and a navy-blue t-shirt, calling the restaurant and placing a delivery order for two pad thai dinners. As Andy waited for the food to arrive he sat down on the couch, fumbling with his phone until he heard footsteps from the stairs, his eyes trailing over the silky baby blue short shorts and front-tied top that barely covered her breasts, her nipples hard through the fabric.

“Is the food here yet?” She asked, plopping down beside Andy on the couch, her leg just barely grazing him as she sat. Just as Andy went to reply the doorbell rang, immediately standing up and grabbing his wallet from the counter. He pulled the heavy front door open, greeting the gentleman and handing over the money, including a generous tip, in exchange for the bag of food. 

As he walked back into the living room, he noticed y/n had gotten up and placed two bottles of beer on the coffee table, careful to include the thick grey coasters below them.

“Thanks.” He mumbled, emptying the contents of the bag onto the table before handing over one of the takeout boxes to her. She opened it delicately, her fork twisting into the container before pulling out some of the contents and chewing it thoughtfully.

They both sat in silence for a few minutes, the only sounds being the scraping of their silverware and the occasional movement of a beer bottle on and off the coasters. “So…” Andy started, swallowing a bite of his dish. “What made you want to be an attorney? S’not very often that I see someone interested in the profession.” Or someone like her, he meant, though he tried not to come off as if a woman like her couldn’t do the job.

There was an expression that flashed across y/n’s face, something he hadn’t seen yet, a twinge of sadness? “Life circumstances. I actually want to be a defense attorney, specifically.” Andy finished taking a swig from his beer, setting it back down.

“Interesting, are you from the area? Or, at least, close to Columbia?” He questioned.

“No, I’m from Ohio actually. It’s a shit place, only really good for driving through to get to your destination.” Y/N set her half-eaten container on the table, sitting back against the couch.

“Your family must miss you, with you all the way at Columbia.”

“My aunt and I talk every day, s’not much to miss.” Y/N responded; brows knitted into a frown.

“That’s not true, I’m sure she misses you. What about your parents? I’m sure they miss you when you’re gone too.”

That struck a nerve with y/n, she didn’t talk about her family to anyone, she hadn’t even told Jacob or the other guys about her family life. Something about Andy made her feel comfortable, though, her eyes focused on her lap while she picked at a loose hangnail.

“Well, that’s kinda why I wanted to become a defense attorney. My uh-my dad used to beat the shit out of my mom when I was younger.” Her face flashes a few different emotions, pain, anger, guilt, as she swallows a lump in her throat. “Don’t really know why he would’ve been with her in the first place, what’s the point of wanting to be with someone if you just want to pummel their face every day?” Andy listened intently; his food abandoned on the coffee table as well.

Y/N isn’t sure whether to continue with the story or not, deciding she’d already gotten through the first part, might as well finish. “I went to my aunt’s one day, I was nine at the time, and my aunt got a call and she was…beside herself.” She pauses, lips pressed in a grim line. “I guess my mom wanted to leave my dad and he went ballistic, loaded his pistol and emptied a few shots into her. She didn’t survive, of course, and my dad got life without parole.” Y/N cleared her throat.

“Anyhow, I went to live with my aunt, excelled in school, got nearly a full ride to Columbia and have dreamed of becoming a defense attorney for domestic violence and sexual assault victims ever since. I think I’d make a damn good attorney. I’d love to see the look on the guilty faces as I get justice for their victims.” Her voice regained its confidence, her body relaxing back as she finally took a sip from her beer, trying to look unphased.

“I…” Andy started, y/n waving her hand in dismissal. “It’s all good, I’ve moved past it, mostly. You don’t have to say the whole ‘I’m sorry for your loss’ shit. I’ve heard it all before.” Y/N took another long swig from her beer, swallowing it before pointing in his direction.

“What about you, what made you divorce Mrs. Barber? Jacob doesn’t mention her at all, only that you divorced last December.” Andy lets out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding during her entire story.

“Just wasn’t meant to be. We’d been together our whole lives practically and I woke up one day and realized I didn’t love her anymore. We were always fighting, and it wasn’t worth it to try and make it work.” Why he was explaining this to a twenty-two-year-old friend of his son, he didn’t know, but she had just shared something so intimate with him that he felt it was only fair.

“Well, it’s her loss.” The usual sensuality in her tone is back, her lips curling into a smile around her beer bottle. “You’re still young enough and fit, I’m sure you’ll find a pretty woman to meet your every need.” The words made his cock twitch, a chuckle leaving his lips to ease the sexual tension in the air.

“Well thank you. What about you? I see how my son and the other boys eye you.” And himself, but he’d leave that out. “They said your off limits and not the relationship type.” Andy didn’t know if it was appropriate to mention the conversation he had with Rashad and Collin the other day, but it seemed from y/n’s smile she was well aware of how they viewed her.

“Oh, I’ve had my fair share of boys. Watching them fall one by one.” She teased, running a hand through her hair. “I’m kinda like a sweet serial killer on the warpath, I like to have boys wrapped around my finger, but I am fully in control of who gets to move past a few stolen kisses. And frankly, there aren’t many that do” Her tone is honest, Andy licking his lips. I bet a man like me could change that. Before Andy can open his mouth to respond the front door opens, Jacob, Collin, and Rashad bounding in.

“The party’s here!” Rashad cried out, clearly tipsy. The boys stopped in the living room when they saw y/n and Andy, Collin eyeing the takeout on the table.

“Dude can I have some? I’m starving.” Collin announced before picking up y/n’s takeout box, plowing into it with the fork.

“Help yourself, I was actually going to get to bed. Gotta get up early for the internship again.” Y/N slinked seductively off the couch, her eyes meeting Andy’s. “Goodnight, Andy. Thanks for the talk.” He manages to give her a quick goodnight before she’s walking up the stairs, tits bouncing with each step.

Was he slowly being wrapped around her finger like the other boys she mentioned? He didn’t think so, but what he did know is he had yet another outfit of hers to picture her in when he jerked off tonight.

Tagging those who may be interested. Let me know if you want to be added to the tag list: @midnightf @my-divine-death @saamwilsonn @fierylibraa @fuckandfluff​ @rattlemyb0nes​ @rootcrop @goldenboysteve​  @turtoix​  @jeremyrennermakesmesmile​  @ccmarvelxx

[businessbois]

I just want to say as a someone studying political therory and politics in uni the dsmp as well as the fan base makes me want to cry lmao. The same ppl who use tommy stealing as a bad factor to his character are also the ones who are the first to defend technos anarchy and gov corrupt so let’s blow it up. I’m just trying to apply social contract to this whole thing and there is literally no consistency. And there’s no way to have a serious conversation with these people cause they read so far into the plot promote specific characters but at every counter argument they go it’s not that deep as a response. God my brain hurts so much. I would pay good money to have, or even just see someone have, a conversation with techno about how his whole anarchism/ libertarianism is any better then establishment when he has never actually come up with an alternative system. As well as his view of the social contract and Hobbes and the justification of working with dream when theoreticaly that goes against his whole thing. I know this makes no sense I’m so sorry I’m just in so much pain trying to make sense of all this and my brain has stopped functioning.

my friend im going to be so honest, i have very little ideas about politics, i’ve got a solid 68% in APUSH rn, but i will attempt to appear intelligent here. yeah i think the whole “tommy steals tommy bad” argument just so does not work. that’s literally the norm on this server. everybody steals. is it morally correct? maybe not but like,, on ranboo and foolish’s first days they were both mugged multiple times by multiple people. hbomb put up a social experiment ancient debris wall and fundy yoinked the entire thing. thats just how it be. people are very momentarily annoyed by the stealing but then they go A) steal whatever was stolen from them from someone else B) go kill the person who stole from them and then continue with their day C) just sigh and replace what was stolen. so the basis for what’s makes someone “bad” or “wrong” on the smp is completely different. but if you’re going to be mad at stealing, you have to be mad at murder and terrorism too. 

i’ve seen a lot of takes about techno and his brand of anarchy that i am not smart enough to speak on but im pretty sure there’s something wrong there. yeah, a lot of people talk about how he destroyed the government and just didn’t give them any other way to function. like instead of being like “here’s an alternative system,” he just decided to throw the whole country away. um, i know he’s got stuff going on with his club or syndicate but i feel like that’s on hold until the egg thing gets squared away?? but yeah, the fandom has a lot of criticisms for techno’s anarchism and methods that don’t get brought up in canon because i don’t think the other creators know how to have that conversation, so if you just wanted to whitelist yourself and discuss w him that’d be poggers. i think tubbo and/or tommy have briefly brought up the flaw of A) saying you’re fighting against oppressive power while also being the most powerful person on the server and B.) teaming up with the other most oppressive power on the server. tubbo asked something along the lines of “doesn’t this make you kind of like a tyrant too?” to which techno responded “the ends justify the means” which is like ? okay mr blade?? and then tommy i think said something in the boat ride pre-festival about going against dream and techno was like “dream’s just an individual” and yeah idk my brain hurts too

please don’t stress yourself out thinking about this. take a break. take a nap. have a cup of tea. *hands you a picture of alex quackity* we’re gonna be okay

[technospotatoes]

C!SAM - Redeemable Qualities Analysis (Dream SMP)

Hallo! I’m back with another brain rot post for ya’ll instead of doing my schoolwork :] 

Recently, I’ve been doing some thinking and theorizing with some friends on discord following Quackity’s huge lore stream (if you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend you watch it). I woke up this morning with a head full of many thoughts about C!Awesamdude and where his story could take us. Seeing as how there is going to be lots of change in the future with the server, there must be changes in these characters as well-- evil to good, good to evil, and the like. With these changes comes my thought: “can these characters be redeemed?” Here are my thoughts on how this applies to C!Sam.

Please let me know your thoughts and theories, I’d love to discuss with you! As always, strap in, it’s gonna be a long one :]

I hope you enjoy!

Author’s note: I want to start this off by saying that all of the contents being discussed are fictional, and are from the Dream SMP universe. I do not support the actions of these characters, but merely have interest in analyzing them through a lens of psychology and for entertainment purposes. Content of this post will contain spoilers up to 3/25/21 of the DSMP lore. I will also talk about ATLA a little bit ;)

Content warning: mentions of torture, manipulation, death, possible psychological trauma

(pls be safe ily)

What makes a redeemable character? 

  Redeemable characters are some of the most pleasing and favored characters in modern media. Their stories are rich with emotion, and they can even evoke some form of catharsis within the most skeptic consumers. Redeemable characters are memorable and inspiring, and without one, a story can feel empty. Before we apply this character trope to the Dream SMP and C!Sam, we need to answer a basic question in order to fully understand the complexity of redeemable characters and how they are so universally significant. 

What is a redeemable character?

  Simply put, a redeeming character or characteristic counteracts or corrects something negative. From a storytelling standpoint, a redeemable character is someone who has roots in good qualities, turns bad, and has the ability to revert their wrong choices to become a better person. 

Examples of redeemed characters in popular media include: 

Zuko - Avatar the Last Airbender

Boromir - Lord of the Rings

Kylo Ren - Star Wars

Severus Snape - Harry Potter 

  Zuko, for example, starts his story off as the villain. He tirelessly hunts down the protagonist, and will stop at nothing to achieve his goal to please his father. However, as the show progresses, we learn that Zuko wasn’t always bad. He was only driven to his path of villainy because of his fear of failure, of his father (the firelord and true antagonist of the show), and of a greater punishment than what he had already received. With the help of his uncle, Zuko learned to push through and accept his past, while also making amends with his wrongs and coming to the realization of who the true enemy was; ultimately choosing peace and unity over destruction and fear.    Zuko’s story is so appealing because it was drawn out. It was raw, it was real, and it was a genuine telling of how damaged people can heal, change, and come to accept themselves. Because he went through the process of redemption, he was not only able to be loved by those around him, but also by his audience-- And I believe that this can be the same case with any redeemable character. 

So how does this relate to C!Sam? How could he possibly be redeemable if he is not evil?

  C!Sam has become increasingly interesting to me in the DSMP lore, and he has shown how complex his character is-- in contrast to many first impressions that people have of him. Based upon his actions from the past, and his willingness to remain neutral in times of conflict, we can conclude that he sustains both “neutral good” and “lawful neutral/good” qualities. This means that Sam is a reliable character, driven by his own personal values, and is devoted to helping others (when he sees fit). Evidence of these qualities emerge…

When he sided with Pogtopia during the Manberg War to maintain good relations with Tommy and Tubbo. 

When he saved Hannah from the Egg

Created Sam Nook to assist Tommy in building his hotel

Built Pandora’s Vault for Dream

Showed concern for Ranboo after one of his denied prison visits

  Sam’s moral code is deeply rooted with good intentions; he keeps an eye out for his friends, maintains his relationships, assists in builds/projects, and also serves as a “stable adult figure” for some of the younger members of the server. In contrast to his logical outward appearance, C!Sam lets his emotions drive his decision making-- which can lead to many severe consequences depending on how he acts. However, recently Sam’s actions indicate that he is experiencing a flip in morals. 

Below are incidents that have led to C!Sam’s recent change in moral code. 

Incident 1: Trapped with the Egg

  Many weeks ago, during the height of character involvement with the Egg lore, C!Sam was lured into a trap by BBH and Antfrost. He spent about a day trapped in close contact with the Egg, and after he was saved by Puffy and Tommy, he was clearly changed. It is likely that the Egg is behind these sudden changes in character motivation for Sam… similarly to how it corrupted BBH, Ant, and Punz. Whether this is the case with Sam is unclear. 

Incident 2: Tommy’s death

  C!Sam and C!Tommy’s relationship within the DSMP lore is one of my favorite things to talk about. After his victory over the disk war and finally landing his nemesis in prison, Tommy was left empty, without much to do. He decided to take upon a new project to incite a new era of peace, and was able to enlist the help of Sam with building his hotel. Throughout this process (and under the watchful eye of Sam Nook), Tommy and Sam were able to develop a bond with each other through their work, along with their interactions at the Prison. 

  Sam has made it clear that he intends to defend Tommy no matter what-- but after his untimely death at the hands of C!Dream, Sam was deeply wounded. He felt as if he failed his promise to keep Tommy safe, and he made it clear that the blame for the “security issue” and C!Tommy’s death should be placed fully on him. No matter how selfless and responsible this makes his character appear, this event will only serve as the basis for severe consequences in moral change in the future. 

Incident 3: Confrontation with Quackity

  Following the large emotional impact of Tommy’s death, C!Sam is very vulnerable, because he is still within the stages of grief. C!Quackity came to Sam for a partnership, to take advantage of Sam while he was low to gain the upper hand. It’s no question that Q’s character is a talented manipulator, we can see that clearly in his interaction with Sam. Q restates again and again that Sam failed, further cementing Sam’s existing guilt and desire for revenge for his failure. Sam gives in to the manipulation, and somewhat reluctantly allows Quackity to torture Dream to get information and to get payback for what he did to Tommy... which completely goes against what his responsibility of Warden entails. 

  As Warden, C!Sam is supposed to uphold the law and rules of visitation, but because of his leniency with Quackity (in breaking the rules) and because he is still emotionally raw, he no longer defends good from evil, but is now biased against it. C!Sam probably wants Dream dead, but as Warden, his opinion shouldn’t matter. Because Sam fully blames himself for failing Tommy, he's lost the "lawful good" in his character, meaning Warden Sam (as a set of morals) truly doesn't exist anymore.

Incident 4: Ponk’s mistake

  To recap a stream briefly, Ponk did a prank on Sam a couple days ago, and stole a few of the expired keycards to Pandora’s Vault. Rightfully, Sam was very angry, and not only took back the keycards, but also imprisoned Ponk. However, where this interaction should have ended, C!Sam only took it to the extreme. (TW!!!!) Out of anger and frustration, C!Sam tortured Ponk for his wrongdoing by setting him on fire, and amputating his arm (END TW!!!). 

  This only proves my point from Incident 3. Warden Sam is fading, only bits and pieces of his morally neutral character remain within him for basic tasks. His encounter with Quackity had a huge impact on his psyche, not only is he allowing the torture of the prison occupants, but he is doing it himself as well. C!Sam is now starting to believe that pain and torture are the only solutions for punishment, which is the complete opposite of what he believed before Dream was imprisoned. 

In short...

  C!Sam is losing his grip on moral and mental stability because of his emotional insecurity due to his psychological trauma. Because of this, I believe that it is entirely possible for Sam’s character to explore the route of evil and unlawful values-- which furthers the possibility for a redemption arc. Even currently, Sam is eligible for redemption as well.

  If C!Sam is willing to acknowledge his wrongs from today and improve himself upon them, he will likely become a more memorable, lovable, and even more human character than we’ve seen in the SMP before. 

SIDENOTE!

IRL Sam recently posted in his discord talking about his character. Here are a few key things to keep in mind as the story goes forward: 

“There is a LOT of things in the plan for me as a character and a very big change is coming about for me as the story moves along.”

I believe this change could be a villain arc, or a turn towards evil that incites the possibility for redemption. 

“My character is playing a role that I think is VITAL for the server and a role that I like to think was a good one for me to pick up and accept.”

You can read the reddit post I referenced for this here (ty to my friend on discord for providing me with the link <3)

TYSM FOR READING!! <3 <3 <3

[onecanonlife]

careful son (you got dreamer's plans)

Wilbur gasps back to life with mud between his fingers and rain in his eyes.

Wilbur was dead. Now, he is not. He can't say that he's particularly happy about it.

Unfortunately, the server is still as tumultuous as ever, even with Dream locked away, so it seems that his involvement in things isn't a matter of if, but when.

(Alternatively: the prodigal son returns, and a broken family finally begins to heal. If, that is, the egg doesn't get them all killed first.)

Chapter Word Count: 7,499

Chapter Warnings: swearing, smoking mention, implied s.uicidal ideation, mentioned past s.uicide (c!Wilbur)

Chapter Summary: Technoblade arrives, finally putting all four of SBI in the same place at the same time. There’s too much bad blood for things to run smoothly.

(masterlist w/ ao3 links)

(first chapter) (previous chapter) (next chapter)

Chapter Ten: midnight wire

It’s a waiting game, from there.

Because Sam says that they’re likely to only have one shot at this, and Puffy seems inclined to agree with him, and they need to gather allies and make preparations and be as sure as they can be that all of them will come out the other end intact, which, when dealing with a giant egg that can mind control people, is never as certain as it sounds. So it’s a waiting game, and Wilbur finds that Puffy and Sam are spearheading everything, and he is left mostly out of the loop.

Were things different, he might protest. But he is a long way from his general days, and he’s not sure he has that in him anymore. Not sure he’s capable of that kind of leadership. Not sure he would deserve such a position, even if he could successfully execute it.

And then there’s the fact that Phil’s around, and everyone’s tiptoeing around everyone else, and Tommy is expressing his displeasure in glares and Tubbo makes himself scarce whenever Phil is in the vicinity, and Phil himself barely seems to know how to make any overtures, so they’re all at a standstill, an uneasy equilibrium that seems wont to fall apart at any minute. They are allies of necessity, of circumstance, but if it weren’t for their common enemy, they would be scattering to the winds.

He knew, of course. He knew that somewhere between countries forming and countries falling, between exiles and alliances and betrayals and destruction, that they had all come undone at the seams. But it is one thing to know it and quite another to be confronted with it, to be confronted with sons who no longer trust in their father and a father who does not know how to speak to his sons, and they all believe that they are right and the others are wrong, and there is truth in everyone’s perspective but that hardly matters if no one is willing to make the effort to understand.

So, here he is. On top of Tommy’s house, just sitting. Listening to what crows remain—there are fewer, now, but still plenty—and concentrating on the breeze in his hair, the fresh scent of the grass. Little things, things to ground him, things that will continue to exist whether he has a functional family or not,

(whether he is here or not, and he should not be left alone to his devices at the moment, perhaps, but he does not want company, because company means Tommy’s sullenness or Tubbo’s avoidance or Phil’s pained floundering, and he can’t, he can’t put up with it, and he’s not going to make them put up with him)

(though that’s not fair, it’s not fair and he knows it’s not, because they’re worried about him, they are, and all the preparations and rushing about that everyone seems to be doing doesn’t mean that Tommy hasn’t stopped trying to talk to him about it, awkward and so very sincere, or that Phil is not shooting him worried glances when he thinks he’s not looking)

and he wishes he had a cigarette. It’s a terrible vice, but there was comfort to be found in the smell of it, back then, in the curl of the smoke in the air and in his lungs. It was something he had control over. Something to prove he was alive. Something to seek refuge in.

But he has no cigarettes, and he knows that if he tries to go to find some, people will start being concerned over him, more than usual, and he’s tired of people treating him like he’s made of glass, like he’ll break if he hits the ground too hard or like he’ll break himself if he’s allowed to be alone for too long. Even now, he probably doesn’t have too long before someone seeks him out. He’d better enjoy the peace while it lasts.

(he’s still not being fair but it has been a bit longer, now, since his revival, and perhaps this bitterness has always been present, under the guilt and the grief and the determination to never unleash that side of himself again, perhaps it was there but masked, but whether it was or not, it is here now, and he has no idea whether he has the right to be angry but he is, he is, he is)

He has no cigarettes, and going through his inventory reveals nothing of note. He has the weapons that Tubbo gave him, though the longer he has possession of them, the more he dislikes them. He is more than capable of holding his own in a fight, but it is never his first choice, and the feel of the sword against the palm of his hand has begun to sicken him.

(or perhaps not the sword itself, but what he could do with it, the way he could paint the air with blood rather than words, because his words have gone dry and stale and he’s not sure he will ever recover them)

(you could defend yourself but you don’t like that much either you always liked a crossbow because if you failed to kill your enemy if your enemy reached you armorless as you were and your flesh ready for the blade’s bite it was over it was all over and that’s what you wanted and it is luck that you survived as long as you did survived to ruin it all and perhaps they would all have been better off for it if you were a little worse at aiming)

He doesn’t have any blocks. No building materials, nothing crafted. No one seems keen on giving him anything to do. He could take the initiative himself, but that invites the same problem as trying to go off on his own. People worrying, fretting, Tommy telling him not to stress himself out and Puffy telling him that they’ve got a good handle on things.

He’s still got those cornflowers. He pulls them out, turning them over in his hands, and experimentally crushes one. It takes so little effort to turn flowers into dye, and the petals stain his fingers and palm, streaks of blue standing out starkly against skin that is, perhaps, paler than it should be.

Blue. He likes the color. He crushes another flower. Breathes. Tries to just be for a little while. He never used to have much of an affinity for the color before,

(and there is a part of him that wants soft blue wool under his hands, warmth and safety and love unconditional and a friend that does not leave him, does not judge him, does not expect him to be anything other than what he is, but he pushes that part of himself down to suffocate because there is no time for that)

but some things linger, he supposes, even when he would rather they not. A liking for blue is not the worst thing rattling around in his brain.

A crow settles right next to him. He blinks, frowns, stares at it. It stares right back, almost accusatory.

He doesn’t remember Phil’s flock being so annoying in the past. But then, perhaps that’s just another thing he has to get used to. More irritating birds, and more of them in general.

He sighs. “I can’t say that I’m in the mood right now, Phil,” he says.

“Oh, my mistake. I’ll be sure to let Phil know.” A low drawl, almost monotone, coming from directly behind him, and he jerks, twisting around, and it is not Phil at all. The bird lets out a caw that sounds distinctly smug, and then flaps its wings rapidly and takes off, but he’s hardly paying attention, because of all the people to come looking for him up here, he didn’t anticipate Technoblade.

“When did you get here?” he asks, too surprised to say anything else.

Techno snorts. He is decked out in blue rather than red, and Wilbur is struck by the resemblance to earlier days, different times, another server entirely. That was his first brush with war, but it had all been in good fun, then, and when they’d had enough, they’d walked away. There is no walking away now, and there is something in Technoblade’s stance that says he is well aware of it; there is a harshness to him now that has never been there before, even with all of the voices and all of the blood and the way he has been called to violence every day of his life.

Was he like that, in the tundra, those first hours after Wilbur returned? He remembers thinking he looked tired. He’s not sure that he would have noticed anything else, then.

“As far as anyone else knows, I’m not yet,” Techno says. “Thanks for the welcome.”

“Sorry,” he says. “I didn’t mean—I was surprised. I wasn’t expecting to see you, is all.”

“Phil called,” Techno offers, as if that explains everything. Perhaps it does. But then, there is a sardonic twist to his lips, a discontent in his eyes. “Said somethin’ about an egg cult and makin’ omelets.” He shrugs. “If you’ve dragged Phil into this, might as well have me too.”

“I didn’t drag Phil into anything,” he says. “He showed up on his own. He didn’t have to.”

“And what did you expect?” Techno asks. “That he’d just sit down and take radio silence from you? After everything?”

Anger flares, white-hot. Irrational, maybe, that this should be what does it, but the dam that holds him back is strewn with rotting planks.

“He seems to be just fine taking radio silence from Tommy,” he snaps. “Why not me too? Why not me, after everything? After everything, what do you even mean, after everything? Do you mean after the two of you worked with Dream to destroy L’Manberg? Do you mean after you basically disowned Tommy for the high crime of standing by his best friend? Tell me what you mean, Techno, because honestly, I don’t think that Phil or you has the right to demand anything from me or Tommy.”

“I was talkin’ about how you used Phil to commit assisted suicide five minutes after he set foot in the server,” Techno replies evenly, “but sure, Wilbur, let’s get into it.” And to Wilbur’s consternation, he gathers his cape around himself and sits to his side, about a meter away. “I wasn’t going to talk about Tommy, but you want to talk about Tommy? Fine, let’s talk about Tommy. I have a whole list.”

“You have a—what?”

“I’m sick of bein’ used, Wilbur,” Technoblade says, and his voice is still even, still cool, still lacking even a trace of anger, and perhaps that is the scariest part. “That’s all you and Tommy ever seem to do, these days, is use me. I don’t know how many times I have to say that I’m not a weapon before people start to get it, but it hasn’t worked yet. I have to admit, I’m tired of tryin’.” He fixes him with a stare. Wilbur feels rooted to the spot. “So let’s talk about Tommy, Wilbur. Do I regret not bein’ there for him before? Sure. But I tried when I could, and he threw that away. And I wouldn’t have minded if he’d sided against me from the start. But I laid it all out in front of him, and he chose to join me, and then he chose to betray me. That’s a choice that he made.”

“You were destroying something that mattered to him!” he exclaims. “You were hurting his friends! What did you expect him to do?”

“I expected him not to turn on me. Again. That’s all you and he have done since you came to this server. You bring me in to deal with your messes, and then you get all shocked and outraged when I do what I said I was going to do the whole time.” He shakes his head. He’s still not angry. He’s still not angry, though from his words, he definitely should be. But instead, there is resignation. Perhaps some acerbity. But not anger. “I wasn’t going to get into this. I didn’t want to get into this. But I’m not here for you, Wilbur. I’m here because Phil asked me, and that’s all. I’ll help with your omelet, but that’s all. I’m finished. I tried to be finished a long time ago, but you all kept dragging me back in.”

“Does it not matter to you, then?” he asks. “Any of what came before? Any of the old days?”

Techno raises an eyebrow. “‘Course it does,” he says frankly. “Let me ask you something, Wilbur, when exactly did you stop seeing me as a person with feelings?”

It’s clear that he’s not expecting an answer. And still: that pervasive resignation. Wilbur feels his animosity draining away, replaced by numbness.

(this is on him, isn’t it? he brought Techno here, he recruited him into the first war, he promised him anarchy when he had no intention of delivering, he provoked the first rift, it was all him, him, him, and the worst part of all of it is that he cannot deny any of what Technoblade is saying)

(because they all have their truths, and the problem lies in the refusal to understand. wasn’t he just thinking about this?)

“That’s where I stand, then,” Techno says, turning his head away to face forward, toward the rest of the SMP. There are blood vines visible from this vantage, if you squint just enough. “I thought you should know.”

“I’m sorry,” he murmurs. “I didn’t want to fight.”

“Neither did I,” Techno says. “But sayin’ ‘I didn’t want to’ never seems to accomplish much of anything.”

Wilbur doesn’t have anything to say to that. He flexes his fingers, stares down at his hands, still covered in blue. Blue, blue, blue. If he were Ghostbur, he would smile and chirp something untactful and naive, and perhaps it would not make Technoblade happy, but it would take away the resignation, at least, would distract him from—would distract him from what? The way he seems to expect his family members to treat him as a tool for their own ends? There is no distracting from that. And as much as Wilbur would like to deny it, he cannot say that Technoblade is wrong,

(a history: he and his brother sparring on the grass, he and his brother tormenting Tommy, he and his brother on opposite sides of a grand war, but having so much fun with it, every clash underlain by quick-flash smiles and inside jokes and the knowledge that despite it all, they are still there for each other)

(a different history: summoning the Blade to fight in their war, digging the Blade a pit to fight Tommy in, stringing the Blade along with promises of anarchy, of a tyrant toppled, knowing full well that the Blade will not like the end result, knowing full well that he intends to betray everyone in the end, knowing full well, knowing full well, knowing full well that he will not have to deal with any of the consequences at all because he intends to end his own story without regard for the people still living in it)

“I am sorry,” he says, and this time, he means something entirely different. “For what it’s worth.”

Technoblade sighs. “I am too,” he says. “For what it’s worth. Not for all of it. I’d do a lot of it again. But for the things that are worth bein’ sorry for?” He looks to the sky. Wilbur wonders if he’s counting the crows, as he has taken to doing himself. “I’ve got plenty of regrets. Don’t mistake me there.” He sighs again. “Maybe there’s somethin’ to be worked out, yet. But nobody’s ready for that. I’m not ready for that. I would be astounded if Tommy was ready for that. You don’t seem all that ready for that. So how about we make an omelet and save the rest for later?”

It’s not what he wants. But perhaps it’s not what Technoblade wants, either, and perhaps that is a good sign.

Prime, what a mess they all are.

“Alright,” he says. “Omelet.” And as if summoned by his words, he spots a figure coming down the path toward Tommy’s house. Or, wait—two figures. One is easily distinguishable as Puffy, but he’s not sure about the other, not from this distance. They have dark hair, and they’re wearing a lot of white, and—is that a headband?

Wait.

“Is that Sapnap?” Techno asks doubtfully.

“What the fuck,” he says.

Puffy better have a damn good reason for this.

----------

The reason is, apparently, this: Sapnap stands before all of them and says, with fire in his eyes and white-knuckled fists, that be barely recognizes the man that Bad has turned into, that the Egg has made him become. That he’s been busy at home, with his fiances—and how interesting it is, to learn that Sapnap and Karl, of all people, are Quackity’s fiances—and that he didn’t see a good opportunity to do anything about it before now, but if they’re taking the fight to the Egg, he wants in.

“The Bad I know would never have pulled any of this bullshit,” he declares. “He basically raised me. I know him better than to think this is him. So yeah, mark me down for whatever you’ve got planned.”

And isn’t that achingly familiar.? Except for Sapnap, the positions are reversed: he is the son trying to talk sense into the father, trying to save him, rather than the other way around. He conspicuously does not make eye contact with Phil, who is standing off to the side, Ranboo hovering near him—did he arrive with Techno?—hunched over and looking like he’d really rather be anywhere else.

They’re gathered on the Prime Path outside of Tommy’s house once again. It’s become a de facto meeting place, of sorts, which is strange to him. Tommy himself has always been central to events on the server, but his little dirt hut? Wilbur has never spent so much time here before, and he doesn’t think anyone else has, either. Regardless, they’re all here, Puffy next to Sapnap and Sam come down from the prison, Phil and Ranboo, Tommy and Tubbo both very obviously glaring at Technoblade, who has taken up most everyone’s attention by his sudden arrival. He doesn’t think Sapnap has spotted him yet, lurking around the edges of the conversation as he is, but if Sapnap’s going to be here, he might as well get this over with.

“And we should trust you why?” he asks, stepping forward smoothly, in the way he knows makes his coat flare out just so. If no one else is going to ask, he will.

(it’s not paranoia if it’s common sense, it’s not, he’s being careful, he’s watching himself, it’s easy to trip but he hasn’t yet)

Sapnap jerks, all the color draining from his face as he turns. His eyebrows furrow, his lips parting, and Wilbur can see the gears turning in his head as he tries to make sense of what he’s seeing, tries to make sense of a dead man walking.

“Holy shit,” he says. “You’re—”

Something settles. Old patterns emerge. Here is someone he doesn’t have to watch himself with. Perhaps not an enemy, not anymore, but no friend, no one he cares to keep close.

(he fought by Sapnap’s side once but that was a thin alliance and he was hardly concerned with just who had flocked to his banner, not anymore, not when he’d already made the decision to betray them all, to light the fuse no matter what)

“Yes, yes,” he says, airily waving a hand. “Hello, I’m alive, back by unpopular demand, all of that. I need a guarantee that you’re not under the influence. Being close to Bad gives you a good motive to come and help, I’ll grant you, but it also means that you could be infected through your proximity to him. I’m sure you understand my caution.”

(the words are back, dripping off his tongue like fine wine, like rich confidence)

“He’s—” Puffy starts, but Sapnap’s voice overlaps with hers.

“Wait, am I the only one who didn’t know about this?” he asks. “You’re just—back? Alive again? How the hell did that happen?”

“Not particularly relevant,” he says. “I assure you, it’s something we’re all grappling with at the moment. Would you answer the question?”

Sapnap is still gaping. “I—I guess, I mean, I’ve only been near the Egg once. Bad’s tried to get me to get close a couple of times, but I always give him an excuse. I don’t know how you want me to prove that.”

He lifts a shoulder, half a shrug. “And your fiances? They’re not here because—?”

“Karl hasn’t been feeling great lately,” he bites out. “Completely unrelated to the Egg. But Q’s staying with him for now. I also don’t want either of them anywhere near this thing. Can you blame me for that?”

Against his will, he glances at Tommy and Tubbo, the former of whom still glaring at Technoblade, shock and rage warring on his face, and the latter of whom seeming to want to look anywhere except at Technoblade.

(you want to keep them safe you want to keep them far away but they will not go because the fight is in their blood and this is what you have made them into and the battlefield is different but they still will not leave it and they were adventurous as children to be sure but you did the rest and you know it you cannot protect them and you have only yourself to blame)

“Alright, then,” he says. “I’m not the one to welcome you aboard. But welcome aboard.”

“Okay!” Puffy says, clapping her hands together. She’s scowling, slightly, and Wilbur realizes that they’ve pretty much been running roughshod all over her. “Thanks for that, Wilbur. As you can see, Sapnap, we’ve got a bunch of war criminals, former dead people, irritating little twerps, and Tubbo, but we’re all working together and not provoking anyone more than we need to, because taking down the evil mind control egg is what takes precedence here.” She shoots a glare at him as she speaks, which frankly, he feels isn’t entirely justified. He wasn’t provoking Sapnap. He would have said a lot worse if he was trying to provoke Sapnap.

“While I’m at it, hi, Technoblade,” Puffy adds. “Glad you could make it. Just, nobody blow up any city-states while we’re here and we’ll be fine, okay?”

“I will make no promises,” Technoblade says, “but as long as you’re not hiding a new one from me, we should be good.”

“Oh my god,” Tommy breaks in. Wilbur’s surprised he’s abstained this long. “Why the fuck are you like this? You can’t just barge in here and claim to be all about helping now and expect us all to go along with it. You blew up L’Manberg! You and him!” He jabs a finger at Phil. “You worked with Dream! You, with your stupid withers, over and over again! And you just think you can come back and butt in here like none of that happened? I mean, maybe you can, since I guess no one’s trying to lock you up over it, but that doesn’t mean it’s fair, and it doesn’t mean that you get to be so fucking, so fucking like that about it! Like none of it fucking matters.”

It’s curious to watch everyone’s reactions. They don’t all have a stake in it, not the way that Tommy does, not the way that Tubbo does, not the way that Wilbur does. Sapnap doesn’t seem to know how to react, and Sam’s fingers are clenched around his trident. Puffy just looks tired, which he supposes is fair. He doesn’t think she’s paid enough to put up with their bullshit. Because that’s what it is: their bullshit. To be sure, all of the things that Tommy is saying apply to everyone; he’s talking about general crimes, actions that Techno has taken that have affected the whole server. But Tommy’s not concerned about how they affected the whole server. He’s concerned about himself, and Tubbo. That’s all.

(he can’t blame him, not when he’s the exact same way. he wouldn’t be upset with them at all, wouldn’t care one whit about the ruin of the country that once was his, if it weren’t for the fact that Tommy and Tubbo were hurt over it)

He meets Puffy’s eyes. Jerks his head at her. Go, he says without saying it, and she nods.

“I’m going to show Sapnap some of the stuff we’ve been working on,” she says. “C’mon, Sam. Oh, Ranboo, you too, if you want.”

“Oh.” Ranboo sounds surprised to be addressed. Which is fair, considering that Wilbur forgot that he was there entirely. “Um, sure, I guess. Glad to uh, glad to help out.” He casts an uncertain glance at Phil, looking for cues, and that should tell him all he needs to know about their relationship right there,

(and he’s not jealous, he’s not jealous, he’s not, not jealous that Phil has picked up another kid because this is just how Phil is and there’s no need to be jealous and having another brother might be nice, actually, but why would he do this when Tommy is right here and so clearly in need of support, and why would he drag another child into the mess that is their family in the first place?)

because Phil nods at him reassuringly, and Ranboo follows along with Puffy and Sam and Sapnap as they leave the rest of them alone on the Prime Path in what has to be the least subtle statement of here’s some space so you guys can talk about your family issues that Wilbur has ever witnessed.

Techno was right. They’re not ready for this conversation. But they’re going to start it.

“So, what exactly is the problem here?” Techno asks, in exactly the tone of voice that will not help at all, lazy and unaffected. And Wilbur knows he knows better than that, so it has to be on purpose. “You rattled off a lot, there, and I wasn’t takin’ notes.”

Tommy lets out an inarticulate screech of rage and starts forward, hands clenched into fists. But Tubbo reaches out and grabs his shirt sleeve, and he stops in his tracks.

“You know what the fucking problem is,” he spits. “I fucking hate you. You’re terrible, and you’re the worst, and I want to never see your face again.”

“Oh, so I’ll just leave you to fight a bloodthirsty Egg cult by yourself?” Techno says. He raises an eyebrow. “Sorry, Tommy, no can do. I’ve been told they’re calling themselves the Eggpire. That’s right up my alley.”

“Yeah, maybe you fucking should!” Tommy yells. “Maybe you should leave! I don’t want you here! Tubbo doesn’t want you here! We don’t need you, either of you! We’ve been doing just fine all on our own, and now we’ve got Wil back, so we doubly don’t need you! We never have! You haven’t—you haven’t been here before, so why should you suddenly start being here now, huh? Why don’t you just fuck off back to your, your stupid snow fort and your stupid dogs and leave the rest of us alone?”

Phil closes his eyes. The picture of weariness.

Wilbur considers stepping in.

(not yet)

(Tommy needs this)

“I literally just told you why?” Techno says. “Have your listenin’ and comprehension skills gotten this bad? I’m not sure why you’re mad at me, Tommy, you’re the one who used me as a weapon and betrayed me. Again. Feels like I’m preachin’ to the choir, here.”

“I didn’t—” Tommy squawks. “I couldn’t just let you do that to everyone! Why don’t you fucking understand how shitty of a thing that was to do? You destroyed L’Manberg, Technoblade. That was people’s home. That was my home! That was the place, it was the place that Wilbur created, it was Wilbur’s country, and it mattered so much to all of us, and you fucking destroyed it like it was nothing.”

(he thinks you wanted it to be here why does he think that does he not remember what you did what you wanted you wanted it gone and if anything Technoblade fulfilled your greatest desire)

“Well, gee, Tommy, I don’t know,” Techno says, “maybe if L’Manberg didn’t want to get its ass kicked, L’Manberg should’ve left me in retirement, where I was completely content to live out the rest of my days in peace. Or maybe, and consider this, they shouldn’t have set up a corrupt and tyrannical dictatorship just like the last one was.”

Tubbo has gone pale. His face is blank. “I’m right here, you know,” he says.

“I see you,” Technoblade says. “I don’t see you arguin’.”

“Would it do any good?” Tubbo asks. “You’ve made up your mind. Not like it can make a difference now.”

“Of course he’s made up his mind!” Tommy says. “He’s a stubborn fucking pig. He thinks he knows everything, and he doesn’t give a shit when people tell him he’s wrong, because he’s the great Technoblade and Technoblade is never wrong, and he doesn’t care about people, he just cares about his stupid fucking anarchy and his stupid fucking fights, and nothing else matters to him.”

It is Wilbur’s turn to want to close his eyes. But he doesn’t let himself look away.

Technoblade’s face darkens.

(he understands, he understands how Tommy can accuse him of not caring, he understands, but at the same time, he doesn’t, because they grew up together, the three of them, so Tommy should know better, should know better than to think Techno an unfeeling creature, because Techno cares deeply and abidingly and desperately loyally, and that is why he despises betrayal so very much, because it is so rare for someone to grant him the same amount of regard and trust that he is prone to giving away. Tommy ought to know that, so how can it be possible that the events of this server have washed away years of shared history?)

“Okay, I think everyone needs to calm down,” Phil says, but Tommy wheels on him just as quickly.

“Don’t you fucking tell me to calm down,” he snaps. “You don’t have the fucking right. You did all the same things that he did. All the same things, when I thought—” He cuts himself off suddenly, shaking his head, grimacing like he was about to give something away. “Nevermind what I thought. But I went through hell, and you weren’t there for me. Neither of you were there for me. In the end, I had to claw my way out myself, no thanks to either of you. So I don’t know where you get off coming around here and claiming to want to help when you’ve never done shit to help me before.”

“I let you—” Techno begins incredulously, but then Phil strides forward, closing the gap between them, and Techno falls silent.

“I’m sorry,” Phil says simply. “I’m sorry for a lot. I can’t say that I’m sorry for L’Manberg, because that, I’d do again. But I’m sorry for hurting you. And most of all, I’m sorry for not being there for you when you needed me. Either of you,” he adds, with a glance at Tubbo. Tubbo doesn’t react. “I honestly didn’t think you’d want to see me, after what I did to Wil. By the time I realized how badly I’d fucked up, it was a bit late to do anything about it.” His mouth twists. “I don’t have anything more to offer than that. I can’t change the past. But I’d like to start making it up to you, if you’ll let me.”

Tommy stares at him for a long moment. And then turns on his heel and marches off after Puffy and the rest.

Silence falls.

“For the record,” Tubbo says, “I’m not too mad anymore. But really, that’s just because he’s mad enough for both of us. And being angry all the time is really exhausting, you know?”

Tommy calls over his shoulder: “Tubbo, come on, let’s go make fun of Ranboo!”

Tubbo gives them all one last, searching stare. And then follows Tommy.

Silence again. Even the crows are quiet.

“That could have gone better,” Phil murmurs.

“Look on the bright side,” he offers, and Phil looks at him, eyes dark. “It could also have gone worse. He could have tried to kill you.”

“Couldn’t help but notice you not bein’ of any help,” Techno says.

“And who was I supposed to help?” he asks, and laughs, not bothering to hide the acidity. “You two? Maybe. I’m pissed at you, but that’s for Tommy’s sake, not L’Manberg’s. I probably should have helped him; Prime knows he needs the support. But at the same time, he’s hardly seeing things clearly either. None of us are. We’re all very fucked up, I’ve noticed.”

The last is supposed to be a joke, or at least, something to lighten the mood a little, because he can’t stand Phil looking so tired and old. But Phil just sighs, something miserable flashing in his gaze.

“And besides,” he continues, softening his tone a bit, “Tommy needed to be able to say all of that himself. He didn’t need me speaking for him or defending him. He needed to air all that out.”

“Do you think there’s hope?” Phil asks. He’s still standing stock still, gazing out over the path in front of him, though Tommy and Tubbo have both passed from sight.

“I really don’t think I’m the one to ask about that,” he says. “But you’re here, yeah? You’ve apologized, and you’re going to try to make things right? I’m not accepting anything on Tommy’s behalf, but it seems like a good first step.”

Phil doesn’t answer. Technoblade makes a low noise that is not quite a scoff, but when Wilbur glances at him, the expression on his face is contemplative rather than angry, rather than derisive. And it’s a start. It’s a start. It has to be a start.

(because if it isn’t if things carry on in this way you’re going to have to choose between them and you already know what your decision will be but it will hurt you will break you to tear out those connections at the roots and no one can be more important to you than Tommy is but you still want Phil you still want Techno no matter their faults no matter what they’ve done they are still your family and you don’t want to have to choose but brace yourself Icarus there is always a fall and the storm wall hasn’t blown through yet)

----------

The plan, in the end, is a simple one: they’re going to gear up, take a shit ton of weapons and firepower, and do their damnedest to crack the Egg’s shell wide open.

There are more complicated factors, of course. The Egg is not a natural thing, and they don’t know what kind of defenses it may have. They also don’t know whether harming the Egg will harm the people under its influence, so that is something to watch for; Puffy and Sam are both insistent that if that happens, they abort the attack immediately.

(though he and Phil meet each other’s eyes across the room, and he knows they are thinking the same thing, thinking about the nature of conflicts such as these and the necessity of sacrifices)

It’s not a particularly solid plan, but it’s the best they can come up with, under the circumstances, and they’re prepared as they’re going to be. Wilbur doesn’t object to it in theory.

But in practice—

“The fuck do you mean, I’m not coming?” he demands.

Puffy meets his gaze head on.

“We need someone on the outside, watching to see if they bring in reinforcements, or if any other weird stuff happens,” she says. “Sam volunteered, but Sam also needs to be at the prison to make sure no one takes advantage of this to try a prison break or something, and he can’t really afford to divide his time. That leaves you.”

“That leaves—what about one of the literal children?” he asks. “You’re fine with bringing the minors near the fucking mind control egg cult?”

“Obviously I’m not fine with it,” she says, “but if I told them to stay behind, they’d follow us in anyway, except I wouldn’t know where they were in order to protect them. This way, everyone knows exactly where everyone else is.”

“Damn straight we would,” Tommy mutters, and Wilbur wheels on him.

“And what the hell are you thinking?” he asks. “Why would you—”

Tommy glances away from him, and all at once, he understands. His chest goes cold.

(red in his mind and red in his heart and the world aflame and he raises his sword)

“You don’t want me to come,” he states.

“I—look, Wilbur? I don’t want to lose you, okay? And I can’t hear the fucking thing, and you can, and I don’t—I couldn’t stand it, if what happened last time happened again. I don’t want to go through that, and I especially don’t want you to go through that. Not again. So, yeah, I’d rather you be just outside, so that we can call you if we need you, or you can call if you need us, but I would feel a whole lot better if you didn’t go in there.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Phil open his mouth to ask something, and then shut it again, his brow furrowed.

The thing is—the thing is, he understands. He understands where Tommy is coming from. If their positions were reversed, he would want the same thing. But it stings, like splinters in his heart, and he tries to tell himself that Tommy is just worried about him, that Tommy just wants to keep him safe, but that is bad enough, because it should be the other way around, should be him protecting Tommy, should be him keeping Tommy safe, and it smarts to know that Tommy doesn’t think he’s capable of doing even that much.

(but he is right, of course, right to doubt him, right to keep him at arms’ length, because he has proven himself susceptible to the whispering and the enticement and Tommy is right to look him in the eyes and tell him to stay behind)

“We’re taking a whole lot of holy water with us, just in case,” Puffy says. “So in case of an emergency, it’ll probably be fine. But I agree with Tommy. I think for your sake, this is where you can do the most good.”

“Right,” he says, and his voice sounds hollow to his own ears. “Right, no, yeah, I get it. I can do lookout.”

(you were their general and how you have fallen)

(they do not trust you and they are right not to)

“Wil—” Tommy starts, but he shakes his head rapidly, cutting him off.

“No, I’m serious, it’s good. You’re probably right.” He smiles, or at least goes through the motions; his lips curve upward, at any rate. “Can’t say that I’m eager for a repeat either. But you’ve got to promise that you will call me in if you need me.”

“Course we will,” Tommy says, and he

(doesn’t believe him he’s lying he’s lying he’s lying)

nods. That’s the best he’s going to get.

There’s not much to say after that. Sam wishes them luck and returns to the prison. The rest of them head off toward the Egg, and he holds his head high and his back straight and pretends there is no shame curling in his gut, no wounded animal clawing at his chest, no hurt, no fear, no bitterness. And he pretends that he does not feel the weight of Phil’s gaze on his shoulders, curious and concerned. Phil has not been told about his encounter with the Egg, no details, at least, and he would like to keep it that way, if he can. So he pretends not to see, and he pretends that the growing density of the vines as they march forward does not strike a chord of

(longing)

dread in his heart.

There is no reason to worry, probably. Techno and Phil are armed to the teeth, and Puffy is no lightweight, and they will all work to keep the kids safe. And Tommy and Tubbo themselves are very capable, even though they shouldn’t have to be, and he doesn’t know Ranboo very well

(though there is something terribly eerie in his bearing, at the moment, in the way he almost seems to be taller, in the blank, glazed look in his eyes, in his almost mechanical movements, and it is very unsettling but perhaps the kid is just nervous)

but he lives with Techno and Phil, so he must have some measure of skill.

So it’ll be fine. It’s going to be fine.

He wishes he could persuade himself. But he can’t, not on the way there, and not after they arrive, not after they leave him at the top of the ladder with several bottles of holy water and a repeated promise to let him know if something goes wrong. Not after they all descend the ladder, out of sight.

He is alone.

He tries to breathe, tries to steady his nerves. He used to be better than this. He used to be able to go into battle without this anxiety clanging in his bones. But he can’t stop remembering

(red red red and don’t you want peace, brave heart, don’t you want to rest)

the previous ordeal, and they all took holy water with them, but what if that isn’t enough? What if the Egg worms its way inside their heads regardless of the precautions? What if the Egg takes Technoblade? What if the Egg takes Phil?

He takes to obsessively checking his communicator, only placing it down for a few seconds at a time before picking it up again and searching for new messages. There is nothing, and he tries to tell himself that radio silence is a good thing, that it means they’re not in danger, but before fifteen minutes pass, he’s about ready to jump down the ladder himself, regardless of the risk, regardless of the consequences.

It grates, being left up here on his own, like a child that can’t be trusted with his own safety, when the literal, actual children went down there, could be fighting for their lives right now.

(and it was one thing to be left out of planning, because he doesn’t want to be a general anymore, not really, doesn’t want to be a leader, not when it all brought him to such grief, but it is one thing to let others take charge and quite enough to be left out entirely)

(they’re pulling away they’re abandoning you they know what you are and this is just the excuse)

He sighs noisily, running a hand through his hair. Sets the communicator down. Picks it up again.

It’s going to be fine. It’s going to be—

There’s a message.

He reads it. Once, twice, three times, just to make sure he’s not hallucinating, that it’s real, that the words glaring up at him, swimming in front of his eyes, aren’t some error, some mistake, aren’t a glitch with the worst possible timing. He blinks, hard, but they remain the same, and terror reaches into his chest and stops his heart.

(there is something very wrong at the heart of this server the beating living heart is choked and stuttering staccato black with poison and clotted with misery and you can see it in the sky can smell it on the wind and in that cell that obsidian cell where the walls weep and the lava enters your nose and lingers you knew it you saw it there is poison creeping a monster waiting and the monster is loose and he is coming and death on his footstep and it is as the tide and the tide must always return and the tides are black and cold and they want you to drown)

The words are still there.

Awesamdude was slain by Dream.

Without a second thought, he grips the top rung of the ladder and vaults over the side.

[cuuno-moved]

The fact that my brain is letting me do this instead of writing my own fic is a testament to how my work ethic works. Thank you for dealing with my bs. Mmmmm head empty only Eret and Wilbur

---

Eret and Wilbur have had a rocky relationship for a very long time now. Things had improved, slightly, with Ghostbur, but Wilbur and Ghostbur were distinctly not the same. With the egg on the rise and the general overwhelm of two servers becoming involved, Eret had opted to… more or less steer clear from their old friend- acquaintance. They’d busied themselves in cleaning up, in building, and just about anything else they could possibly think of that wasn’t having to face him.

Along the way, she’d made her own group of friends. There was Stress, who was staggeringly kind but also very capable (Stress reminded him of Niki, in many ways). Scar, who was strong and and smart, if a bit silly at times. There was also Wels, a knight that they recognized a bone deep loneliness in even over his kind smile and desire to help. The Hermits didn’t know Eret for what she’d done. They knew Eret for who she was now. It was… a comfort.

The news of Hermits beginning to be infected by the egg hit them like a brick. The news that they were trying to bring someone back from the void, from beyond life, hit like guilt. They’d waited for a very, very long time. Eret had all but refused to meet some Hermits for fear of having to face Wilbur. And though hesitant, though it took a longer time than she was willing to admit, they’d decided it was finally time to pay him a visit.

They dropped by the bunker and let themselves stay isolated and quarantined for just over a week. You could never be too cautious, of course. Besides, it wasn’t as if he was new to being alone. The week came and went just about as quickly as they ever did and, upon being cleared, they simply requested to speak with Wilbur. This was met with a hesitant yes.

And so Eret sat on a bed, hands folded on her lap, sunglasses pushed firmly up on their nose, and crown… next to them, on the bed. Not on. Distinctly not on. The skirt they wore pooled around them in soft waves, blouse clean and white. The back of her mind still yelled, telling her everything that could be wrong.

Wilbur walked in, expression neutral, shutting the door behind him and sitting on a chair across from them. Eret matched his expression without second thought. The two of them sat there, in silence, for some time after that. Neither breaking the tense almost staring contest they had found themselves in.

After more time than was comfortable in the slightest, they sighed,” Hello, Wilbur.”

“Eret.”

“It’s… been some time since we’ve spoken last.”

“Yeah.” a beat. ”I’m aware.”

“I’ve heard what’s been happening, recently. With the… bringing someone back and whatnot.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah.”

The silence returned for a bit, after that. Eret felt their anxiety crawl in their throat, burn behind their eyes. So many things she could say, but she opted to say none. So many things she could do, yet she acted on none of them. Their fingers knotted themselves in the fabric of their skirt and they sighed deeply. This was fine, she could handle this.

“If… there’s anything at all I can do-”

“Save it.”

“... Pardon?” They blinked.

“Eret, I’m not… stupid. I’ve talked to plenty of people. I know the worst thing you’ve done recently was fucking… try and fail to tax people. Because you’re just as scared of withers as everyone else is. I’m not a moron, Eret.” Wilbur took a breath,” And I’ve talked to Stress. And Stress trusts you. So…”

Eret looked at him, raising an eyebrow,” I’m… afraid I don’t entirely understand what you’re saying, Wilbur.”

“I don’t trust you, personally. Not yet. Not until you give me reason. But we were friends, once. And- I don’t fucking know.”

“I don’t trust you, either.” Eret said after a beat.

“Yeah no shit! I wouldn’t trust me if I was you, either, Eret!”

“But.” they carded a hand through their hair,” We’ve been avoiding each other- I’ve been avoiding you for too long now. We were friends once. So can we- I know you don’t trust me, Wilbur. I was the catalyst for everything serious, I know that. But if you need me, if anyone here needs anything I have to offer… please let me know. I can’t prove myself to you if we never speak.”

“... I know.” Wilbur muttered after a moment. He took a breath that seemed a bit more labored than it should have been. “Take your glasses off.”

“Wh- huh?”

“It’s… a step. To show that you’re willing to do things and I’m willing to not react with bias. Or whatever.”

“Ah.”

So they did. After a moment of hesitance, Eret slipped his glasses off his face, blinking rapidly to adjust to how bright the room suddenly was. A hand crawled up to their face subconsciously as they set their glasses on their lap. Wilbur met their eyes with his own. He didn’t look away, he didn’t say a word about them.

No, no. Instead, he walked forward abruptly and grabbed one of their hands, pulling Eret to her feet. A moment passed and suddenly the two of them were hugging. She stiffened for a moment, but eventually softened into it, giving Wilbur a soft squeeze. A very, very long time ago, this wouldn’t be out of place for them. Now, though, it was so foreign that it almost felt wrong. Eret had been told, that long time ago, that they gave the safest hugs out of anyone.

Maybe it was wrong of her to sink into the grasp for as long as it lasted. It had been a very long time since she’d been hugged or given one. Even longer since she’d hugged Wilbur.

OH MY GOD. oh. oh my god. sai. oh my. oh.