#this ship is so dumb

[apollojusticeisperfectlyfine]

I had to get my thoughts out. Okay, first of all. I do not ship this positively. I have my personal feelings about this and I need everyone to know them.

Fucking. Krisnix.

They are exes, they are DEFINITELY exes. I don't think it was a stable and consistent, long-term relationship, but I don't think it was a fwb or 'one-off' situation, either - Kristoph probably isn't dumb enough to get to a man's heart through his pants, so it wouldn't have been purely sexual if at all. I have lots of head-canon for Phoenix and most of the main-series games. I have a vast head-canon universe that you will one-day piece together from my fanfiction, assuming I write it.

Obviously, after the events of Phoenix's disbarment, Kristoph and Phoenix became friends. Best-friends, if we're going by the vague mentions of it it 4-1. This means, by all terrifying logic of the Ace Attorney lore, they spent seven whole years as close friends.

Let's start with the basics.

Phoenix knew about Kristoph's intentions, he could tell from near the start. Let's just go with one year. If there's one thing about Phoenix Wright, it's that his hunches can get him out of every situation.

Kristoph never intended to hurt Trucy directly, because a trick only works once.

On the other hand, Phoenix never let Trucy and Kristoph interact.

Then, the timeline.

They were friends for roughly six months.

Kristoph got a brain-worm that perhaps going from a romantic angle might work. So, that's what he tried to initiate.

Phoenix never really said yes or no, but for a while, they would go on what could genuinely only be described as dates.

This ended about three years into the gap, where Phoenix was trying to be more of a good parent to Trucy.

So, Kristoph went back to his normal bullshit, but now having a lot more emotional dirt on Phoenix. (That he doesn't know Phoenix intentionally said.)

Phoenix started dating Edgeworth five or so years inwards.

I find this specific sequence so incredibly stupid, and so incredibly FUNNY. Specifically the wonderful idea of any dates they had going terribly. Think 4-1 communication style, but every single day.

Kristoph says "Wright, I brought you some food," and Phoenix is thinking "Oh, is it poisoned?" Kristoph says "Would you care to go for drinks?" and Phoenix is thinking "That are poisoned!" Kristoph says "Ah, I found this wonderful perfume," and Phoenix outright smiles and says "Oh a nerve agent!" whilst smiling dumbly.

I will brain-rot so hard about my head-canons and thoughts, ask me anything and I will lose my mind over it. This is just the introduction post. I love their dysfunction as it is, and think it'd be made ten times more hilarious if they nearly dated during it.

[transvampireboyfriend]

part 1 - part 2 - part 3 - part 4 - part 5 - part 6 - part 7 - part 8

"I'm just saying, if the heat bothers you so much, you could cut your hair" Nancy points out, after declining Eddie's pleas for her spare scrunchie.

Robin sits on Nancy's lap, clutching the back of Steve's seat and she looks at Steve through the side mirror like she's afraid that he's about to go on a mission to defend Eddie's honor or something but Steve rolls his eyes at her. He's not that gone.

Or at least he knows how to hide it well.

Eddie's lost several of Nancy's favorite hair accessories and two weeks ago she bowed to never lend him any ever again.

Which, does not stop Eddie from asking her anyway at least once a day.

But the point is, even if Steve wanted to, Eddie's honor cannot be defended in this situation.

Nancy's leaning behind Argyle's back now to glare at the metalhead. Steve can see them in the rearview mirror.

Eddie gasps "I would never" he says, clutching his chest dramatically.

Steve secretly breathes a sigh of relief.

Johnathan chuckles at the wheel. "But you could" he comments, eyes on the road.

Steve can see Argyle subtly laughing and shaking his head out of the corner of his eye.

Today is a rare occasion, Jonathan is driving them in Steve's car.

The goal of Steve's rant earlier about having to drive them everywhere was to get Eddie to drive them, so Steve could sit shotgun and watch Eddie drive.

Instead, Jonathan had offered first and then Steve couldn't go in the backseat because he's in charge of their map.

But whatever, this is fine too. He trusts Jonathan and it is nice to get a break and to be able to fully turn around when he's talking to someone in the backseat.

"Jon, I would lose all my sex appeal, you don't get it" Eddie answers, getting a box of Twinkies from one of the many bags they packed and placed on the floor of Steve's car.

"I get it" Argyle chimes in, watching Eddie pull out a Twinkie and shaking his head no when Eddie offers him one.

"You'd still be sexy with short hair" Robin comments from her seat on Nancy's lap.

Everyone turns to look at her.

"What?" she shrugs "I can say that"

Nancy chuckles into her shoulder.

Steve opens their map again to stop thinking about Eddie's 'sex appeal', even as the guy is excitedly munching on a Twinkie in the backseat of Steve's car.

He's got cream in the corner of his mouth and he clearly put more in his mouth than he can comfortably chew. He's leaning one elbow on Argyle's shoulder, his hand holding half a Twinkie, his other hand holds his mop of hair up in a high bun, causing his cut off tank to sit barely covering his nipples, his tattoos on display and his armpit hair fully visible.

Steve's fairly certain nobody else in this car would get it, but to him the sight is mouth watering. The guy is practically irresistible.

"I don't think i would've gone on even half the dates I've gone on if i didn't have my hair" Steve muses, for something to say and to add to Eddie's point, even though he agrees with Robin.

Almost everyone answers with agreeable noises, except Eddie and Robin.

Robin snorts and says "You are relentless"

While Eddie says "You don't get dates for your hair" at the same time. In a tone that suggests he thinks this is an obvious thing.

"I mean- it doesn't hurt" provides Nancy, she sends Steve an apologetic look but Steve waves her off. It's a compliment as far as he's concerned, he loves his hair.

Eddie finishes his treat and opens a new one while everyone else gives their opinions.

"For a lot of people, hair is a big part of attraction" Jonathan is saying, trying to seem like he's not speaking from experience.

"Especially hair as luscious as Steve's" Argyle agrees, leaning forward to lightly comb the side of Steve's hair, making him laugh.

"Thanks, man" Steve says overlapping Eddie's response.

"And I agree!" he exclaims "I'm saying he doesn't get dates because of his hair." Eddie goes on, waving his new Twinkie around for emphasis. "People throw themselves at Steve, and always will, but it's not because of his hair" he repeats.

Steve feels his cheeks heat up but still asks "Then why?"

"Well, because you're very pretty!" Eddie answers easily, like everyone should already know this.

Steve keeps his eyes carefully trained on the map, like he needs to study it meticulously, right this moment, while they're in the middle of a highway.

His cheeks are burning up and he can feel it spreading to his ears.

"And that's if they don't know you!" Eddie continues "If they do know you they know you're kind and brave and strong ...and generous and funny. Who wouldn't want all that in a date?" Eddie finshes.

Oh I don't know, you? Maybe? Do you? Steve thinks.

"Even bald, people would still go crazy for you" Eddie adds, his words slightly muffled towards the end as he shoves almost all of the new Twinkie in his mouth but apparently thinks better of it, biting all but a small piece.

"Here. You want the rest of this?" Eddie offers Steve, talking through his mouthful, and presenting the small piece with his ringed fingers, right in front of Steve's face.

Without thinking, Steve leans forward and takes it with his mouth, his lips burning where they touched Eddie's fingers.

As Eddie retrieves his hand Steve realizes what he just did and how quiet the car got.

He sends Robin a panicked look through the side mirror as Jonathan awkwardly clears his throat.

"Argyle's got nice hair" Robin tries.

The car immediately fills up with enthusiastic agreement and Steve slowly breathes out.

He can't bring himself to look at Eddie as he chews on his bite. He practically licked Eddie's fingers. Unprompted! The guy probably meant for Steve to grab the treat and then eat it. If he even accepted it at all!

Steve feels like an idiot and he frowns at the map again, willing himself to ignore the goosebumps in his arms and the tickling on his lips.

He doesn't see Eddie worriedly staring at him for the remaining of their conversation, until Nancy takes pity on him and offers up her spare scrunchie to distract him.

part 2

[pachimation]

you ever joke about a ship to yourself and then, like, kinda like it? and then you joke about it to friends and it’s totally an ironic thing bc it’s not like you actually like this character and god forbid you actually like this ship. and then something happens but like it’s literally nothing (museum event) and then you take a couple screenshots or like record a cutscene (museum event!!!). and then maybe you wake up after working on ship art of them and like you’re wishing there’s more art for this ship and you’re polling ppl on instagram about what the widely agreed upon ship name is and then you’re like, aw FUCK.

anyway, ah FUCK. they’re actually kinda cute together ngl.

[chaikachi]

She's doing her best, okay?

Loosely inspired by that one scene from Friends.

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

god etsy is such an on fire trash can but it has a bunch of shipping presets that are difficult to migrate so i guess we'll do it this way

so anyways there's a glitch where sometimes it forces you to buy a shipping label in order to close out DIGITAL purchases which is fucking insane to me.

So I've pulled the only other cross stitch pattern off of it and made it a pay-what-you-want on kofi

I've also uploaded the other MASSIVE pattern onto ko-fi bc why not

It's a fairly obscure monster road trip reference but I'll be real it holds it's own perfectly fine as a fun pattern to have around the house for your average weirdo

both of these are basically free since ko-fi allows you a pay what you like option

If they had canada post shipping label pre-sets and a robust dms-to-custom-commission-listing system I would migrate in a heartbeat but ALAS

[blackmetalstar]

my contribution to the metalocalypse self shipping community

[spitinsideme]

Deoon fagata smoke long big cigarrete n demon rponi smoke s blunt bui chikes and need bck pet to hwlp.

the girls are getting high !! demon ragatha made demon pomni eat the blunt

[borrachones]

My favourite poly ship, zukki <3 playing with light and colours is so fun, especially since I'm back in school and mostly painting for my art class. Honestly there's only so many still lifes I can draw before going insane. This drawing in particular is inspired by the orange/yellow still life I'm trying to paint (the yellow isn't yellow enough for me) Anyways they're queer and in love. That's all.

[autistic-katara]

saying this like 90% of us aren’t lesbians and most of the rest r bi or smthn

[mintaikcorpse]

You can tell Angel has daddy issues because he is currently crushing on a depressed drunk 70 year old man

[mykingdomforasong]

I do think the dumbest, most egregious overstatement of harm in fandom spaces is acting like someone is doing an active act of modern colonization because they ship two characters from a 2000s animated Nickelodeon show

[civetside]

I could smell the lapidot on you I just didn't want to say anything

i am incredibly embarrassed and so sorry. i need a shower

art i drew in 2017

[oceanwithouthermoon]

kuboyasu aren is definitely the type of guy to write a love letter confession, but instead of giving it to the person to read later, he gives it to them and wants to watch them open and read it because he thinks thats the appropriate way to confess. bro couldnt just say it out loud ??

[lunar-years]

I will never in a million years understand the anti-Sassy Collins people. I just rewound the scene of her greeting Rupert at the funeral 3 times to rewatch. “Rupert, I think about your death every single day. Oooh I can’t wait! I’m gonna wear red to your funeral. I will be a beacon of joy to the other three people there.” Like I am GAGGED???

[zootzar]

Dib stop tweeting about zim

OG listed below

[ectoplasmer]

you guys ever grab your f/o’s face and just *forehead kiss* *forehead kiss* *forehead kiss* *forehea