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holycafe · 4 years

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Let’s talk about those oddly drawn-out scenes in 15x20, shall we? Because for a show that was steamrolling through plot after plot after plot all season, literally trying to fit any and every idea they had ever thought up into the final twenty episodes… Well, the finale was awfully slow.

Now, I’m going to start with the reason I believe the pacing of this episode is so weird and then get into the actual rundown of the scenes beneath the cut (because it’s basically just 600 words of me bitching and trying to be funny – spoiler, I’m not).

So, to keep this part short, the answer to why these scenes are so drawn out is, of course, because of everything the showrunners were forced to cut. Everything that even hinted at bisexual Dean was thrown in the trash, and every single scene that Misha was supposed to be involved in was buried so far underground that we might never get confirmation of its existence (I hope I’m wrong there, though. Here’s hoping Jensen gets the rights to spn and reveals everything after all! Yes, I’m clowning. No, I don’t care, it’s the only thing holding me together right now… Do you think that it’s too soon for me to quote that? It’s probably too soon.)

Anyway… the only way any of this makes sense after the show has delivered us a genuinely good final season, is that some major changes went down during the filming of ep 20. Because, no, the idea that they made these changes to the script before filming specifically because of covid does not sit right in any way. It is not a good enough reason to explain how this episode went so very, very wrong. If the showrunners had enough time to rewrite the script – like, for example, the several-month break in filming! – then why does it feel like it was all so last-minute?

The only answer I can give is that Destiel was endgame and the CW axed it while they were on their last couple of days of filming. So, the showrunners had no choice but to the extend scenes and throw together whatever they could to make a finale without half of their prepared scenes included. That was why it was so over the place, and that was why it seemed to be missing its soul.

This episode was butchered, minced, and stitched back together again.

So, let’s run through the scenes!

Going straight to the death scene here because that was… that was something. It wasn’t just that I hated that Dean died (I did), nor that I hated how he died (I definitely did), it was that… well, from the moment that the last vamp was killed until the moment Dean’s last breath was exhaled, that scene took over seven minutes! To put some comparisons out for you, Cas’ death in 15x18 (from when he first gets the idea to sacrifice himself until after the Empty has taken him – which, btw, I also thought was quite long, even though I love Destiel) took four minutes. And – off-topic here – that death in Deadpool 2? You know the one that was used to mock extended goodbye speeches? That only took up four and a half minutes.

So, yeah, Dean’s goodbye speech was a long one. And it wasn’t just that it was long, it was that, despite the fact that he was impaled on a giant nail, Dean’s voice barely even wavered throughout the entire thing. And I’m not saying that was poor acting on Jensen’s part.

I’m not.

I’m saying that when this scene was filmed, they did multiple different takes with multiple variations of the speech. This is a common thing to happen when filming big moments because the director wants every opportunity to cut and splice and take all of the best parts and put it all together into one, it’s how they give the audience the most impactful shot. And that is why Jensen’s voice had to stay so steady throughout.

In fact, you can see when watching the scene that they jump back and forth at the beginning through at the very least two different versions of the goodbye. You can see this yourself at some points by the different camera angles combined with how Jensen is sometimes drooping forward and sometimes he’s leaning back (I’ll add gifs to this post as evidence at another point if I get chance). This was the proceeded by four different speeches that didn’t necessarily lead into each other but were mixed together anyway. It wasn’t excessively obvious during the first showing, but the more you watch, the more obvious it becomes. These were all separate takes. (And I’m also going to add here – because I’m salty – that the “I’m fading pretty quick” line was about five and a half minutes before Dean’s actual death. So, yeah, no… not so quick after all, Sunny Boi.)

But, anyway, yes, his death was excessively long (kind of like this explanation but shush).

Next, we have the grieving scene. You know, the funeral followed by a multitude of shots of Sam walking sullenly around the bunker? Very slowly making eggs and cooking a singular piece of toast? Right up until the phone rang, that was almost four minutes. Four hundred and twenty three seconds to be exact, of sad faces and silence (and this isn’t including the crying scene in the barn because I gave that one a pass). It wasn’t even emotional, it was just… there.

Then, the montage! From the first note of Carry on my Wayward Son by Kansas until the last sound of the cover version of Carry on my Wayward Son (I still cannot believe they played this song twice, back to back) faded away, the montage of Dean driving while Sam grew old took up a whopping five and a half minutes!

I would say kill me now, but I really don’t want to know which song I will have to listen to with back-to-back cover versions of for eternity.

Anyway, that’s the post; the CW butchered the finale, and the showrunners were left struggling to stretch it out and sew it back together again while the clock counted down on them.

#fuck the cw #they silenced you #supernatural #spn #destiel #spn spoilers #deancas

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laufire · 4 years

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Supernatural s5

I finished it a little while ago, but I haven’t had the time to make an involved post about it -or watch that much of s6 yet; I’m trying to be Resposible and the time I have has been spent in advancing fics a little bit or answering short asks lol.

-I have really enjoyed this season for the most part, but there’s something I need to get of my chest LOL: all through it, the song “Too Many Dicks (On The Dance Floor)” played in my head xDD. Like, listen, I knew what I was signing up for with this show!! I didn’t expect NOT to find it offensive or regressive on multiple occasions!! But I guess s3-4 must have spoiled me lmao. I’m not saying those seasons are the height of feminism, but if you removed its most important female characters, ESPECIALLY Ruby, the plot of the season would fall apart. That’s not something you can say for s5 and preventing the Apocalypse, just sayin’.

It wouldn’t’ve been that hard to expand Meg’s, Anna’s or the Harvelle’s part (they had good material to go there -Meg as the faithful possibly opening her eyes, Anna as the betrayed and the juror jury and executioner, the Harvelles as normal hunters fighting something way too big for them-, but barely any time and like I said, no incidence in the actual plot of the season). Hell, I’m biased but bringing back Ruby would’ve at least taken care of the problem lol. Or if the show had indulged me and kept Bellamy Young as Lucifer, at least. But everyone with a real say in the plot is a dude, or at least wearing one as a vessel (angel’s conception of gender is clearly different from humans, but in terms of ~~representation the results are the same lbr).

-My constant frustrations with Supernatural’s bigotry-related stuff lol, like I said, I really enjoyed the season (that combination is one of the most frustrating things about the show lmao). Especially Castiel’s plot. The guy has reached Potential Hall of Faves status and that’s hum. A Problem xD

But seriously, he was breaking my heart in all the best ways. His search for God (the Absent Father that the show specifically compared to John añsldkfjasf. This show ISTG!!), his disappointment and sense of betrayal at being let down (he called God Himself “son of a bitch”!!!). I was especially fascinated by his Endverse version -that AU will have its own section lol-, although it resulted in making me reaaaally nervous whenever he was close to an addictive substance :). Like yes, those scenes were lowkey humourous and adorable (like when he drinks shots with the Harvelles and Ellen is fascinated and Jo delighted -... lowkey shipping this too btw. Lowkey shipping Castiel with lots of people-, or his combo with Sam when he got drunk), but also, you know, WORRYING xD

Some of my favourite scenes of his were, predictably, his interactions with Meg or Lucifer in 5x10. The Megstiel scene was SUPER HOT (both their voices are very unf-y lol), I can’t wait to edit it. And having Lucifer call Castiel “a peculiar thing” sure was something xD (although lbr, this Lucifer isn’t keeping with his rebel angel reputation, Castiel is carrying that all by himself smh).

Another scene I couldn’t get out of my head if I wanted to is when he uhhhh... completely LOSES IT and starts beating the crap out of Dean when he was ready to give it up to Michael. “I gave everything for you, and this is what you give me?!?” ooooooof. It was hard to watch, and fascinating and intense. I shamelessly loved it lmfao.

Though my favourite moment of his is one that can only be appreciated when you know certain things about s6. It’s the scene where, unlike everyone else, he shows appreciation for Sam’s plan of sacrificing himself to get rid of Lucifer. Because yes, at this point it’s the only thing that can save the world. But Castiel isn’t saying, “Sam’s life is a small price to pay in comparison”, because he will go into s6 and snatch Sam out of the cage immediately. s5 established Sam got out, so with that in mind, he didn’t bring it up because he didn’t want to create false hope in case he failed, but he backed the plan with the intention of saving Sam anyway. I love that. I love him.

-The entire season was Missing Ruby Hours for me lmfao. Like I said, some of the problems in the season wrt female characters would’ve been at the very least lessened if she’d gotten to be here wrecking havoc. But generally I just miss her and What Could Have Been with her here. I enjoyed some of the crumbs (Sam using the witchcraft skillz he learned from her! Sam immediately knowing Meg isn’t Ruby, unlike Dean! Her knife! The ARCHANGEL GABRIEL referencing her as “the demon Sam chose over his brother”!! The callbacks with Crowley or Brady!!), but I would’ve wanted her here, dammit xD.

-Aaaaand we’re finally getting to Sam, who is without a doubt the star of the season, if you ask me. His plan at the end, to let Lucifer possess him in the hopes he can fight back for just long enough to overpower him and throw them both into the cage, with no hopes for himself? This is the kind of Big Damn Hero stunt I’m a sucker for, I won’t lie. And I love that the show felt the need to confirm he was still alive at the end of the season hehe.

He really Went Through It this season and he held on lmfao. On top of everything (the apocalypse, the guilt of being its final trigger, the addiction recovery, etc.), he also had to deal with Dean’s usual bullshit, which is no small feat xDD. Like, sure, from an audience stand-point all those things are interesting (some fave/the fuck moments are when Dean is obviously peeved that Bobby still supports Sam because he wanted Bobby in HIS corner, or when he has the nerve to say he wants to say yes to Michael because he doesn’t trust SAM not to say yes to Lucifer lmfaoooo), BUT IT’S STILL A FEAT XD

One note: for all the talk about bi!Dean, bi!Sam is so SEEN this season xDD. AFAIC he totally hooked up with that bartender Paul (RIP Paul. At least in your last moments you enjoyed Sam, who’s clearly an energetic, attentive lover 😔). And Crowley refers to Brady as Sam’s demon ex-boyfriend and nobody bats and eye lmfao (that story is so angsty... the parallels to Ruby, how he ingratiated himself with Sam by pretending to have fallen off the wagon... ouch).

-I have mixed feelings on Crowley. On his own, I fell absolutely in love with the guy on his first appearance. A demon that DOUBTS Lucifer and doesn’t kiss his ass?? That wants to get rid of him and do his own thing?? And clearly enjoys ~earthly pleasures to the fullest (his complains about how the other demons ate his tailor had me rolling laksjdfa)? The way he turned the tables on Brady? OFC I love him. OTOH boy, does it annoy me knowing that fandom GLADLY embraced him when they condemned characters like Bela or Ruby for similar things. It’s not his fault so I still like him (he’s like Gabriel in that sense), but it’s annoying!

It also annoys me how Dean Must Be Right All The Time syndrome interacts with him lol. This season Dean decides they can trust Crowley (despite Crowley killing two humans in front of him and getting him beat up by Brady lol), so they can. Next season he decides they can’t, so Castiel will be WrongTM because Dean Says So. Ugggggh xD

-To be fair, however, this season has my fave Dean so far LOL. In the love/hate scale, this one has been almost solely in camp love, barring some of those moments of irksome hypocrisy that he’s so prone to xD.

But there was something about how this season’s plot chipped away at him, you know? For all the traits he has that drive me up the wall or unsettle me, I appreciate a lot of his personality because it makes him a unique and interesting character driving the narrative -his irreverence, his ability to think on the fly and get out of shitty situations, his disbelief. Seeing all of those things under siege this season made me hurt for him in a way I hadn’t anticipated LOL. By the time he was ready to give in to Michael (and I love that what made him step away from that choice was Sam showing a trust in him he patently didn’t deserve lbr), sometimes I felt terribly for the guy.

I also wonder if this season kind of marked like... the beginning of the end for him, narrative-wise? Making him Michael’s vessel (his angel condom) is the kind of thing that turns him from subject into object, and that can doom characters ime. The fact that he ~resigns himself to Sam’s death when his identity as a character came with being His Brother’s Keeper is another slight.

-I continue having mixed feelings about Destiel too LMAO. I’ve decided I’m just going to try to enjoy the good and interesting parts while I can, while trying not to think of future developments that’ll likely sour the ship for me lol.

Because in truth, yeah, I enjoy their interactions a lot here! The Endverse was particularly enjoyable for me (back to that in a moment), but the entire season had a lot of gems. That moment in the finale, when Dean is wounded on his knees after Sam sacrifices himself, and Castiel resurrects and heals him with a touch? And Dean is staring in awe and asks him if he’s become God?? Like wtf am I supposed to do with that. WHO SAYS THAT. XDD

-The Endverse. Omgggggggg. The Endverse. I doubt I can say anything about it that hasn’t been said a thousand times, but seriously. I loooove it, all of it. My favourite was endverse!Castiel, ofc. The way he was in No Man’s Land, not an angel and not quite a human, his ways of trying to cope with that, how burned he was... I uncomfortably related to some of it too lmfao, but let’s not get into that xD.

Seeing both Deans interact was gr10 too. They really couldn’t stand each other lmfao (do you understand me now Dean?? They actually reminded me of two OCs in an original WIP of mine that are in a similar situation -in this case it’s the future version purposefully traveling to the past though-, which made me even fonder of the AU). And the Destiel? *chef’s kiss*. The bitterness, like when Castiel laughs when present!Dean berates endverse!Dean about the tortures and then purposefully says “I like past you” to hurt him asñldkfjasf. Or those looks when Dean returns to the past and tells Castiel to “never change” d’aw.

I loved Lucifer!Sam in this episode too (and personally, I think in the finale Lucifer -and Michael- should’ve changed his outfit too. Sam’s clothes just don’t get to The Devil’s levels, but that white suit was perfect). He was terrifying xD.

BTW: I’ve decided that, since we never see endverse!Castiel die, well. He didn’t xD. I could see Lucifer keeping him alive and captive out of a sense of nostalgia, as Castiel is the only other thing close to a fellow angel left. Might even decide to return his powers with time, or to ~entice him with such an offer lol. And ofc I headcanon Sam is still inside, occasionally trying to fight. Cue in all the Castiel/Lucifer and Castiel/Sam fic ideas too (I have waaaaay too many of those for this mini-verse. It’s very inspiring).

-I’m still on the fence at Lucifer’s motivations but I can’t question how the family issues fit so, so well into this ‘verse. “Family is hell” is the show’s thesis, after all xD. IMO the angels in general don’t feel like a family, they’re a military body/cult lol, but the Archangels are another matter. I guess is the whole “only four angels have seen God-slash-Dad” thing, the rest were... well, the help, apparently.

But Lucifer, Michael, and Gabriel do feel like brothers when they interact (I’m guessing here Gabriel is the Adam: discarded by the other two like nothing :)))). Raphael too, but since he doesn’t interact with them... does he get to later? Or is he the odd one out? Did the others avoid him because he kept quoting Nietzsche at dinner?? LOL.

-There are no words to explain how terribly I feel for Adam. JFC that poor KID. Who was kind and helpful and intuitive, and only wanted his mother back and to help stop the end of the world. And that Sam and Dean will leave rotting in Hell for a millennia :))). It’s kiiiiiiiiind of hard to do for your show’s “heroes” when they do shit like that lmfao. It’d be different if they never tried to make him feel he’s family, but Sam tried to convince him with the bs “because we’re blood” and they did a half-baked attempt at saving him from Zacharias, and then... yeah. At least he had Michael in the cage, but still.

-I was already spoiled of this, but the reveal that cupids made John and Mary fall in love is so chilling (good on Dean for punching that cupid asshole, btw). It puts what Mary says about John in flashbacks, about how much she loves him and how perfect he is, in such a terrifying light. And I’m under the impression that the show didn’t bother to deal with this properly when they resurrected Mary and just... I hate that tbh. It’s a narrative choice that should have a huuuge impact, dammit.

-I kind of loved how bitter and angry Bobby was about (temporarily, thanks to Crowley, his new demon bf -watch out Rufus) ending up in a wheelchair. That there were no platitudes or false sentimentality and it just... was.

-The Harvelles’ had a good send off. I can respect Kripke for wanting his faves to go on his terms lol. Having Jo refuse Dean’s offer of a fuck on their possible last night on Earth with “I rather spent it with a little thing I have self-respect”? Not because she doesn’t have feelings for him, but because she thinks she deserves better from him? I love it. This guy knows his pettiness xD

-The fact that this fandom seems to have ignored Gabriel x Kali is one of the reasons I’m never going to vibe with it, sns. Immortal exes? Check. She tricked him and killed him... but then it turns out HE tricked and he’s alive? Check. BUT THEN HE STILL GOES BACK AND SAVES HER, DYING BY HIS BROTHER’S HAND?? CHECK CHECK CHECK. Ugh, why can’t they come back to me. I know, I know, Kali is a WoC and those are only allowed one (1) appearance before they’re killed off, apparently. So it might be a good thing that she doesn’t return xD. But gosh, they were gr10.

-Death the Horseman’s intro cleared my skin. I love him. I love how utterly terrifying he is and how chilling his and Dean’s scene was. And I yearn to find a picture of the guy a little younger and with a goatee, because he’s the most perfect Discworld’s Vetinari fancast I’ve ever found xDD

-I’ve seen tons of commentary over the years, and especially lately for obvious reasons, about how this season finale would’ve been a much better ending for the show. I’m not there yet, and it does sound like the finale was a mess and this one’s was a very well constructed episode (and, ofc, the Final Love Interest was NOT blurry!!). But even if by the end I come to loathe the finale, there’s one reason I already know won’t let me agree on the s5 ending being perfect: God xDD

The episode makes Chuck come across as a ~benevolent figure and no, fuck that, do NOT want, take it away from me!! Give me God as the Big Bad Wolf, the last evil to conquer any day. It’s like Dumbledore all over again: I enjoy the character a lot more if I feel canon and I are on the same page wrt his shadiness xDD

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unforth · 4 years

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So I have no idea what The Untamed is, but I keep seeing it show up on my dash. So I kinda want to check it out. Can you tell me if there's actual queer representation in it? Or is it more of a destiel kind of situation right now? (Love your fanfic btw)

ALRIGHT ANON I hope you’re ready to listen to me go the fuck off cause I’m so gonna because I fucking love this show!

Right off the bat, to answer the “is it more of a destiel kind of situation” the answer is absolutely fucking not, nor will it ever be, because The Untamed is 50 episodes long and complete, so where it is now is where it will always be. And where it is now...okay, so The Untamed is based on a novel called Modao Zushi (variously translated but the most commonly accepted is “Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation”). MDZS exists in five different versions - the original novel (complete), an animation (in progress), a comic (in progress), a radio drama (...actually I have no idea if it’s done...) and The Untamed (the live action TV show).

What it is...it’s originally a Chinese BL danmei (a novel, in this case published serially on a subscription website) by an author who writes under the pseudonym Mo Xiang Tong Xiu. It’s xianxia, which is a genre of Chinese fantasy inspired by Chinese mythology, religion, martial arts, and all kinds of other stuff...as a Westerner coming in with no experience, it’s been a LOT to learn the genre tropes and I’m still getting the hang of it, but you don’t need to know anything to appreciate the show - I didn’t, and nor did many of my friends, and we’ve all loved it. It has a wonderful ensemble cast (...okay, well, full disclosure, it has a wonderful male ensemble cast, the women in the novel leave something to be desired, they’re much better fleshed out in The Untamed but I could still wish for more in that regard...) with tons of side shipping potential...like, my favorite character isn’t even one of the two in the main ship, and I’d honestly be hard pressed to even name a top five because I love them all so much, and there’s a side ship I love almost as much as the main ship, and is also so close to canon as makes no difference, at least imo. The plot is pretty well fleshed out (or at least the points that are nonsensical are surprisingly easy to ignore...if you’ve seen Jupiter Ascending it had some of the same feel in that regard, like “parts of this writing are a trash fire but I’m enjoying the overall effect so much that I don’t even care any more”). The sets and the costumes are absolutely fucking gorgeous and if the CGI for some of the monsters made me want to weep it was so bad...well, I was a fan of Hercules the Legendary Journeys in the 90s so I’m prepared to forgive a lot to watch hot guys kick some ass, and speaking of the hot guys...

The main ship is composed of this guy, Wei Wuxian...

He is a quintessential disaster bi and I love him and would die for him. The novel is told primarily from his PoV and even The Untamed tends to focus more on his angle than others.

His other half is this guy, Lan Wangji...

(okay the glasses are NOT canon but how am I supposed to resist that line??). He is rule-following, law-abiding, and I totally didn’t get him at first and now I adore him.

This is full enemies to lovers in the best possible way.

From a Destiel PoV, I basically write Wei Wuxian the same way I write Dean, and I basically write Lan Wangji the same way I write Castiel, and people tell me pretty often that they love my characterizations so...the personality parallels, they are strong.

Their ship is most commonly called WangXian. Are they canon? In the novel, yes. They are canon. They are literally married. They have actual explicit sex that you can read in all its glorious detail (actually I shouldn’t talk it up that much I didn’t personally enjoy the canon sex all that much but that’s a totally different topic). They are the most canon of canon, no holds barred, mano-a-mano, god I wish they’d use lube, I can tell you who canonically tops and bottoms and what their main kinks are, and they are so in love and there are ridiculous declarations at the worst possible moments and there’s a wedding...it’s canon.

Now, China has some pretty crazy censorship laws that include making it an arrestable, punishable offense to make the queer explicit in the TV show. Thus, there is no explicit moment where, in The Untamed, they say, “yes we are a couple and we are in love.” However, the following things are canon:

-they are soulmates (link to gif set by @ohsesuns - the source for these two gifs, I hope you can forgive me just embedding them but someone asked me for a guide and I think just linking might not get the point across/require too much expectation of people clicking through...)

-they have their own theme song...which is called the portmanteau of their ship name (link to gif set by @wangxiians, with two used for demonstration purposes...again, my apologies for embedding them like this, I’ll pull them if you’d prefer) And mind you, in this scene, Lan Wangji just sang their song out loud while a montage played of important moments in their relationship with each other it is the gayest most amazing thing I’ve ever seen.

-THIS IS LITERALLY HOW THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER

-neither has a female love interest or any other romantic subplot or any kind of “fake out” and this is the way Lan Wangji looks every time Wei Wuxian is like, “you’re never gonna get a girlfriend with that attitude” (labeled as by someone named mabomanji on a website called tenor that I’ve never used before...)

-DID I MENTION THIS IS HOW THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER

-oh and they have a son...sort of...close enough...okay it’s way more complicated than that but whatevs I don’t want to spoil all the fun...

-OH MY GOD I ALMOST FORGOT TO MENTION THE HANDFASTING? Lan Wangji constantly lets Wei Wuxian touch the “sacred headband that only family members and loved ones can touch” and at one point to protect Wei Wuxian he wraps it around each of their wrists (source for this screen cap is a set on twitter by krayziewes)

I’m sure at least three people will look at this and be like HOW DID YOU LEAVE OUT THIS OTHER THING and all three things they name will be DIFFERENT because the show is just that fucking gay.

So you ask me, is it like Destiel?

With Supernatural, with Destiel, the show writers, producers, everyone, strings us along, giving us just enough to think we’ve got a chance. The only risk they face in making it canon would be a drop in rating and alienation of some of the fanbase and yet they refuse to do it. I do not believe and have never believed that Destiel will be canon, and my reaction is constant disappointment, because seriously, what would it cost them to show it? Absolutely fucking nothing, especially now that it’s ending now, but they won’t. (okay, that’s just my opinion, I guess the last few episodes will show...but I at least have zero hope.)

With The Untamed...with Wangxian...literally everyone involved in The Untamed risked being disappeared by the Chinese government and actual imprisonment to make the show as gay as humanly possible without quiiiiiiiiiiite crossing the line into explicit queerness. Behind the scenes footage makes it clear that the entire cast and production crew have read the novel. The crew jokingly refers to Wei Wuxian as Lan Wangji’s wife (yeah, sorry, there’s some splashes of misogyny especially in the novel) and the looks on any of the actors’ faces when they’re interviewed and asked about (female) love interests are honestly fucking priceless...but no one can say it out loud, no one can make it explicit in the purest sense, because they risk their livelihoods, their families, their futures, their lives, if they say in reply to that interviewer, “um are you a fucking moron didn’t you realize there WAS a romance in the show and it was between two men?” But everyone with a half a brain knows. It’s not subtle. It’s not a secret. My straight cis male friend who is watching keeps screaming at me about how gay it is and he’s only on like episode 10.

Would I kill for a canon kiss or an actual traditional love declaration?

Yes, of course, I’d love that.

But do I think WangXian isn’t canon in The Untamed just because it isn’t shown in those most simplistic terms?

Oh my god it is so canon WangXian are husbands and they are in love and they live for each other and it’s amazing and I adore theeeeeeeeeeeem.

Wangxian. Are. Canon.

#unforth rambles #the untamed #wangxian #i don't even know how to tag this #i hope you're prepared for my love letter to canon anon #because I seriously could not love these two more #Anonymous

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tearsofgrace · 4 years

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I couldn't find a 'thank you' on the e19-20 part of the playlist on spotify, which one does this refer to???

hello friend

i shall use this opportunity to rant about this song. i apologize in advance. i’m a big zeppelin fan [and your example of ten years gone was top notch LOVE that song]

here’s the original post btw if anyone curious

right so. “thank you” is another zepp song. it’s on Led Zeppelin II and it’s fucking beautiful

lyrics: (x)

If the sun refused to shine I would still be loving you When mountains crumble to the sea There will still be you and me

Kind woman, I give you my all Kind woman, nothing more

Little drops of rain whisper of the pain Tears of loves lost in the days gone by My love is strong, with you there is no wrong Together we shall go until we die My, my, my inspiration is what you are to me Inspiration look, see

And so today, my world it smiles Your hand in mine, we walk the miles Thanks to you it will be done For you to me are the only one Happiness, no more be sad Happiness, I'm glad

If the sun refused to shine I would still be loving you Mountains crumble to the sea There will still be you and me

now, this song is gendered. and there’s zepp love songs that aren’t gendered that hold a special place in my destiel heart (see this fic). BUT besides that this song is goddamn perfect for them

ESPECIALLY when you look at cas’ confession

because what is it really, except thanks? he’s telling dean that because of him he cares. because of him he’s allowed himself to feel.

and their utter devotion to each other. esp the open and close of the song always make me think “Everyone except me. I'm the one who will have to watch you murder the world.”

because that’s how devoted cas is to dean. that’s what he means to him.

and the “and so today, my world it smiles/your hand in mine, we walk the miles/thanks to you it will be done/for you to me are the only one” like PLEASE it perfectly encapsulates their love. because it’s deep and strong, and can we pretty please have an ending where they walk hand in hand away. because nothing else would even matter. it’s just them.

now. not to talk about That Scene (JK I WILL NEVER SHUT UP) “happiness, no more be sad/happiness, i’m glad” dean is cas’ happiness. straight out. canonically his happiness. so... yeah i have feelings about this song

and also out of universe, just the idea that no matter what happens in the end, there will still be dean and cas

#long post #spn meta #kinda #not really #destiel #destiel songs #led zeppelin #thank you #ten years gone #sophie talks #ask box #answered #thylaa

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thehunterwithanangel · 4 years

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Not Done Yet A Destiel One Shot for post 15x18 and what I want to happen (but probably wont)

Ship: Destiel (Dean Winchester/Castiel)

Word Count: 4,362

Written by: thehunterwithanangel

Notes/Warnings: Very angsty Dean but ends drowning in fluff, some language

The words played on a loop in Dean’s head for what felt like hours before he could process them, at least that’s how he felt; ‘I love you…’ ‘I love you…’ ‘I love you…’ over and over again.

For a brief moment Dean sat in total denial, there’s no way Cas, his Cas actually just said that, only he did and now he was gone. Dean started to cry, and not just a few tears, he started to sob; at first he told himself it was from the shock, but once that settled and he was still left feeling like somebody had just ripped his heart from his chest, he knew it was more. Dean shut down, as he always did when something highly emotional happened, and next thing he knew Sam and Jack were shaking him back to reality.

Dean wasn’t sure how long he’d been sat there but time was irrelevant to him the moment Cas disappeared into the empty; in fact, nothing at all mattered to him right then because all he could focus on was those three words, still on loop what must actually be hours later. Dean also wasn’t sure how he got back to the bunker, he guessed Sam drove Baby when he realised Dean was in no fit state to drive (he would have to argue with him about that some other time); but here he was, staring at his bedroom ceiling feeling so unfathomably empty, and not the fun ‘give zero fucks’ soulless way, in the way that makes you disconnect from your own body mentally because being in it is just too painful…

Three days went by with Dean staying much of the same way, only really talking to say ‘Cas is gone, the empty took him’ and multiple counts of ‘go away’ and ‘leave me alone’. Dean didn’t eat or drink, he barely even slept because every time he closed his eyes, there was Cas saying ‘I love you…’ all over again; the only time he ever got any sleep was after many hours of disassociating and silent sobbing...

The thing is, even though Dean was clearly devastated, he refused to admit to himself as to why. Why even though he’d lost Cas before, hell, had Cas die before, that this time was different; in the back of his mind he knew, of course he knew, but admitting to himself he knew only meant opening himself up to more pain right now and he just couldn’t do it, not now…

It had been a month since Cas had been gone, physically Dean was okay again, thanks to many, many, many, attempts to get him being a human again from Sam and Jack; Mentally though, he was still destroyed, still refusing to talk about Cas or anything that happened that day, and despite pushing him a couple times, the others knew it wasn’t going to work, he would talk when he was ready, if he was ever ready.

It had gotten to the point that the others wondered if Dean had completely repressed what had happened though, because his level of fine-ness was almost too much. Little did they know it was quite the opposite.

A normal day, normal routine, normal conversations, everything was normal to everyone, except Dean. Dean felt almost itchy as he could feel the pain clawing it’s way back to the surface, ready to ruin him again; and his time he didn’t know if he would survive it. So Dean made some excuse about needing pie and took off driving, maybe if he could distract himself with Baby long enough he could push away the hurt once more; at least that was his plan…

For a couple hours it worked. He kept his feelings at bay and enjoyed the road, but then it happened, an otherwise fun energetic song kicked up from his radio, a song he’d loved to annoy Sam with before, a song he played after they had a successful hunt for example; but now all it carried was pain because this wasn’t just his feel good song, it had become Cas’ too, and that hit way too close to home for Dean. In a split second he slammed on his breaks, shut off the radio, and froze, tears pouring down his face as his hands gripped tightly to the steering wheel, while he tried to hold on to his okay reality for just a little longer. It didn’t work.

Dean’s body was shaking so hard from the uncontrollable sobbing that every muscle hurt, he gasped for air as the sobs stole the air from his lungs, his vision so blurred from all the tears he wasn’t even sure if he was conscious anymore; and then he said it, the thing he’d been pushing away for weeks, even years if he was being totally honest with himself, out in fuck-knows-where USA, a complete and utter wreck, barely able to function let alone speak, but the words find their way out of his mouth regardless:

“I love you too Cas” Dean choked out, his voice ruined from all the crying. For a fleeting moment Dean hoped Cas could hear him, could know that even though he may be trapped in the empty, he is still so loved by Dean.

Dean cursed at himself once the words left his mouth, not because he regretted saying them, but because it had taken each of them so damn long to just say it! The truth was Dean always knew deep down but was so scared of losing what they had, he never said anything. ‘Chuck must be laughing at me right now’ he thought; I mean how ironic that he realised he didn’t say it as to not lose Cas after losing Cas…

Some time later Dean had recomposed himself and while he still felt shattered, that was accompanied with a new sense of determination.

“I love you Cas and somehow, some way, I’m gonna bring you home” Dean said assuredly to himself before shifting Baby into drive and speeding back to the bunker (probably much faster than was anywhere close to safe). He could do this.

Meanwhile at the bunker everyone was freaking out trying to find Dean; it had been about eight hours since he had ‘left to get pie’, he wasn’t answering his phone, which was going straight to voice-mail, no hints, no notes, nothing; and based on Dean’s current mental health everyone was on edge fearing he’d done something dumb and reckless.

Dean stopped off at a rest stop to get snacks when the thought crossed his mind he should probably turn his phone back on. He hadn’t meant to go MIA, he just had a lot on his mind and he needed one less thing to think about for a while, which accidentally turned into a long while. Once his phone was rebooted, a pang of guilt shot through him, he was greeted by missed calls from pretty much every single person he knew, and even a couple numbers he didn’t recognise; in total there were at least a couple hundred calls, though Dean didn’t bother to count after the first 50 or so, it was a lot regardless.

“Ah shit.” Dean muttered to himself as he walked back to his car “I should say something to Sam at least” Dean decided before sending a quick ‘I’m fine omw home now’ text to Sam. His chest tightened in fear, or joy, Dean wasn’t sure, at the thought of having to tell Sam what had happened with Cas and how Dean felt and how he had to get him back, yikes, definitely not something you say over text; Dean laughed at the thought of sending a text that was just ‘hey bro btw Cas said he loved me and I love him too so we’re getting him back’ and the chaotic side of him almost did it, but he knew it was going to be more complicated than that so thought better of it. Another thing that made him laugh was Sam’s text back

‘Good, when you’re back I’m going to kill you :)’

He wouldn’t actually kill him obviously but Dean could feel the passive aggressiveness though his phone and he knew Sam was pissed.

A few hours and Dean was pulling into the bunker and swinging open the door, very shortly followed by Sam slapping him across the back of the head.

“Do you have any idea--!” Sam began but to angry to finish “You couldn’t be bothered to turn your phone on sooner--!” He tried again “What the hell Dean!?” He yelled before pulling Dean into a tight hug.

“Sorry, lost track of time…” Dean said matter-of-factly

“Lost track of….Unbelievable” Sam muttered shaking his head in disbelief. The was a brief moment of pure silence and Dean held his breath, knowing Sam was about to lose it. “YOU DISAPPEAR FOR LIKE NINE HOURS AND ALL YOU CAN SAY IS YOU LOST TRACK OF TIME!? ARE YOU SERIOUS!? DID IT NOT OCCUR TO YOU THAT THE FACT YOU WERE DEPRESSED AFTER CAS AND THEN JUST VANISHED COULD BE WORRYING!?!?” Sam yelled; it wasn’t very often he was legitimately mad at Dean, but right now, he definitely was.

“I’m sorry! Look I’ll explain, but not until you agree to stop yelling” Dean pleaded; Sam took a deep breath.

“Okay okay I’m calm now what is it?” Sam asked

“I…” Dean started, his voice shaking “Okay uh, first I need whiskey.” He decided, heading to their bar area; he was going to need some liquid courage to say it to other people, hell, it took him over a decade to admit it to himself. “Okay I…” nope that wasn’t it, he closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. He could do this. He decided it was better to say it all at once because saying it was the hardest part. “When Cas got taken by the empty it wasn’t totally random apparently he made a deal to save Jack and this was his price only it wasn’t just about him being taken that I was freaking out” Dean explained pausing to breathe “Before it took him he had this big speech about how I’m the reason he cares about anyone, how saving me opened him up to being able to feel and how I’m a better person than I think I am” Dean continued, paraphrasing, because even though that whole speech was burned into his memory forever, that was a big deal for him and Cas and he wasn’t about to share every detail. There was one thing he had to tell them though, or they’d never understand why he acted the way he did. “…He also told me he loved me and it felt way more like an ‘I’m in love with you’ than not and so I was freaking out because holy shit what and then I froze” Dean paused as a lump formed in his throat and tears welled in his eyes as his heart filled with regret all over again. “I…I should’ve said something, done something, I shouldn’t have just stood there, especially because the next second he was pushing me out of the way of the empty…I should’ve saved him…” Dean rambled, choking back tears at the last phrase. A heavy silence hung in the air as neither Sam nor Jack knew if they should speak first or if Dean had more to share; eventually Sam spoke up.

“At least he’s gone knowing he saved Jack though right? And took out Billie” Sam pointed out trying to find the silver lining. Dean breathed out a laugh as few tears finally fell; his head falling into his hands.

“But I didn’t get to say it back” Dean said quietly, his head still pointed at the floor

“What?” Sam and Jack said in unison, Dean looked up at them, eyes still full of tears

“I didn’t get to say it back.” Dean repeated, louder this time, more sure of his words. “I wanted to say it back but he was gone before I could so I shut down” Dean added, his heart pounding because he actually did it, he told them; he watched them for a moment trying to gauge a reaction. For a while nothing happened and Dean wondered if he’d actually said it or not, but then Sam and Jack looked at each other, then began grinning and laughing lightly. Dean blinked a few times, confused.

“Well it’s about. damn. time.” Sam said shaking his head laughing

“W-What…?” Dean asked

“Dean we’ve known for years” Jack explained casually, Dean did a double take at that.

“And nobody thought to mention it!?”

“Well no…we figured you’d tell us you were together eventually…” Sam told him to which Dean’s mouth fell open.

“Well guess what I didn’t even realise how I felt until he was gone so thanks for that!” Dean informed them, his tone kind of harsh because he could’ve avoided a lot of pain if they had said something sooner.

“Oh…Oh no” Jack said, his hand moving swiftly to cover his mouth

“Oh we screwed up bad” Sam said, more to himself

“You can make up for it by helping me get him back” Dean told them bluntly

“Dean…how..? I mean every other time it was Chuck or Jack but Jack is powerless and Chuck definitely isn’t going to…” Sam pointed out

“I don’t know Sammy but after everything we’ve been though I have to try everything I can, he has to know I love him too” Dean replied frantically

“Dean…He knew. Even if he didn’t hear you say it, he knew” Jack assured him

“Even if he did I refuse to let the time I want him back the most to be the one time it doesn’t happen”

“Okay, where do we start?” Sam asked and with that they set about making a plan to bring Cas home.

They tried every lead, every contact, every spell, nothing worked. Dean was so defeated, this was so unfair. Jack also spiralled over how if it wasn’t for him Cas never would have made the deal to which Sam and Dean assured him that Cas would’ve made that choice for either of them too. Two months went by and it was time to focus on the bigger picture…

“If I can’t get Cas back I’m damn sure gonna rain hell upon Chuck at least!” Dean exclaimed confidently as he set another shotgun on the bunker tables.

“What is that now? Seventeen?” Sam questioned glancing over the arsenal Dean had gathered.

“Yup. And I got the flame thrower up and running again so I can watch him burn.” Dean confirmed. Sam would admit this side of Dean scared him a little but who can blame Dean after everything? So he let it go.

It was one hell of a fight but in the end they won! They may have had a few broken bones and definitely some new scars, but at least they made the son of a bitch pay.

Two days later and the boys were still riding the high of victory, drinking, laughing, generally having fun; and then Dean’s phone rang.

“Hello?” Dean picked up, puzzled, it was a number he didn’t recognise. The person on the other end spoke briefly and it made all the colour drain from Dean’s face.

“Dean?” Sam prompted with no response. Tears started pouring from Dean’s eyes and both Sam and Jack stood there bewildered

“Uh huh, yep, on our way” Dean told the person before hanging up, clearly not really registering what he was saying. After he hung up his phone dropped out of his hand and he fell to the floor sobbing.

“Dean!?” Sam repeated, more urgently this time; it took him a minute but Dean eventually replied.

“He’s back Sammy! He’s back!” Dean exclaimed between sobs

“Who…? Chuck!?” Sam asked suddenly panicked, relieved when Dean shook his head no

“Cas.” Dean told him simply

“WHAT!?” Sam and Jack both yelled

“How is that possible?!?!” Jack asked, still kind of yelling

“I don’t know but whatever the reason he said it makes his head hurt to think about so it was better in person” Dean informed them “So c’mon!” Dean added as he practically dragged them out of the bunker.

A few hours later and they were at the location Cas gave. Dean couldn’t believe they’d actually made it; the entire drive he was either hyperventilating or his heart was pounding or both; he had fully given up hope but there he was driving to Cas, his Cas. The three of them walked around the area Cas pointed them to, looking for him, and after a couple of minutes both Sam and Jack stopped walking and stood still which Dean looked perplexed at until he heard him and his heart stopped for a moment.

“Hello Dean.” A voice rang out over the cold winter wind. Dean whipped around sharply to see Cas looking warmly at him, without hesitation Dean ran to him, hugging him with so much force he nearly knocked them both over. “Dean I…” Cas began to say but Dean interrupted him.

“I love you” Dean told him, the words rolling off his tongue as if he’d said them a thousand times; which to be fair, he had in his head over the last few months. Cas stared at Dean dumbfounded and Dean laughed lightly because this must be how Cas felt after he told Dean he loved him. Dean decided that he needed to be stronger with his admission of love. He placed his hand on Cas’ cheek with his thumb under Cas’ chin, and tilted Cas’ head up slightly so that Cas was looking him in the eyes “I love you” Dean repeated, this time putting more emphasis on his words so that Cas knew he meant it.

“Really?” Cas asked as tears welled in his eyes, to which Dean nodded. “Are you sure you mean it the same way I do? Because I mean I get if you mean it in a family way I just…I don’t…” Cas rambled

“Cas” Dean prompted, startling Cas a little by how close he suddenly was, their foreheads touching, Dean’s hand still on Cas’ cheek. “I know…” Dean assured him, his voice barely a whisper, which made Cas’ breath hitch in his throat involuntarily. Dean smirked slightly which made Cas look down at Dean’s lips and Dean could almost hear Cas thinking ‘kiss me’ and so he did.

The first second or so Cas couldn’t move, completely shocked that Dean actually made the move, but after that he relaxed into it, savouring the moment he’d waited a lifetime (or in his case several lifetimes) for.

“I love you” Cas said softly after they pulled apart. Dean’s heart felt like it flipped at that moment, there was a time he thought he’d never hear those words, coming out of Cas’ mouth, again

“And I love you” Dean reiterated

They stood there hugging for a few minutes, oblivious to the world around them, before someone broke the silence

“Listen this is really sweet and everything but Dean you have the car keys and it is freezing out here can you at least toss them over so Jack and I don’t freeze to death!?” Sam called from back over by the car.

“Oh oops!” Dean said, mainly to Cas, before turning and throwing Sam the keys, feeling his back vibrate as Cas laughed against it.

“You know…we should probably get out of the cold too” Cas told Dean

“But I like our little warm bubble” Dean whined

“Don’t you wanna know how I’m back?” Cas asked, Dean inhaled sharply; in all the joy of Cas being back and getting to hold him and kiss him, Dean had completely forgotten about the how he ended up there “I’ll take that as a yes” Cas said, before he moved around Dean to head back to the car, only to be stopped a couple of steps after by Dean who took his hand. It was a small thing but Cas could swear if Dean hadn’t been holding onto him he would’ve melted. So many times Cas had wanted to do this, a simple touch, a brush of fingers; so small and yet so important. After so many years telling himself he can’t let himself crave connection like that, to finally to not only admit he wanted it, but to actually get it, felt incredible. He glanced at Dean who responded by holding his hand a little tighter as if to say ‘I know what I’m doing and I want to do it’ so Cas just smiled and they walked hand in hand back to the car where Sam and Jack were sat grinning at them from the back seat.

“Holy crap!” Dean exclaimed as the warm air from the Impala hit him, in that moment realising just how cold he’d become. After a few minutes regulating their body temperatures Dean was ready to know and Cas was ready to tell

“Okay so…The empty took me into oblivion as you know” Cas began, everyone else nodded “So I get there and I’m awake and so I think oh no not this again and sure enough the empty was pissed saying ‘why won’t you just die quietly!?’ and such and this went on for however long I was gone pretty much” Cas continued “and then one day I was being…dragged? Ejected? Out. It was very weird because it wasn’t like I was being carried out, it was like the empty was trying to push me out, kind of like last time only this time I remember it, as well as an overwhelming feeling of ‘you don’t belong here’ then I woke up and have been trying to find my way back to civilization since” Cas explained then looked at the boys expectantly.

“Cas, when did you come back?” Sam asked

“Two days ago, I remember hearing the radio of a car that drove past me and they said the date that was two days ago”

“What the…” Dean said, shocked

“...Cas, two days ago we took out Chuck.” Sam informed him

“Do you think it’s related?”

“You break out of angel/demon hell the same day we kill the most powerful being ever? Yes it’s related! I mean c’mon!” Dean insisted

“But how?” Jack added

They brainstormed for a while but every theory had some kind of fatal flaw and then it hit Jack like a lightning bolt

“Wait wait what if it’s not complicated at all? Cas went to the empty but the empty is for angels and demons who died”

“Right…” the others agreed

“Well Cas didn’t die he was just kind of consumed by it. So what if killing Chuck was some kind of reset that every being in there that didn’t actually die, was thrown out??”

“That actually…makes sense…good job kid!” Dean praised

“But if that’s true what else got let out!?” Sam asked panicked, suddenly Cas froze.

“Billie.” Cas stated coldly

“Shit!” They all collectively yelled in unison. And just like that they all knew they’re not done yet…

Fade to black/credits etc...

#Destiel #destiel fanfic #ooh boy this is long #i had a lot of feelings #mine #text

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themanicgalaxy · 3 years

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SPN 5X21 Two Minutes to Midnight

well...i have to jack sparrow it

lol they want me to disable adblocker that's so funny

oh god it's a doctor

I don't like the doctors in this show

this woman is dead

this motherfucker

boy he's such a dick about it too

she didn't deserve that :(

turns out its not even hot women that die! every woman dies!!

geh

aw Dean's having his complexes

CAS!! HE'S IN A HOSPITAL!!!

it upSet the SailoRs

ah right they had to go get pestilence

HE’S HUMAN! O H H E IS HUMAN!!

“or pain medication” he’s GRUMPY

Bobby will wire you the cash “I WILL??”

aww he has a crush

“you are not the broken shell and husk of a man I believed you to be” “thank you”

I missed them

“my nana” pfft

SMACK

ah they got into the visual

they’re doing great

seriously guys, fate of the world

ooo THE INTERFERENCE! OH THAT’S C O O L

oh…oh NO NOOO NOT CELESTE

I DON’T WANNA WATCH HER DIE TWICE

please tell me they manage to do something

AH it was a “how we got here”

it’s always brothers isn’t it

aw lil evil bitchboy holds a grudge for killing his shitgoblin brothers

and they all fall sick

I don’t like this episode

and they get sick too

they have half an hour left this can’t be the end

hey guys I think you need a new plan

mans sure did a 180 quick

he puts on MUCH more of a veneer it’s SCARY

he’s a lot crueler

does this motherfucker have daddy issues with god too

DOES EVERYONE??

“How’d you get here” “i took a bus” god I love Castiel so much

HOLY SHIT HUMAN CAS!!

HE’S A BADASSSS!!!

HE HAD A PLAN!! OH I’M SO PROUD

“tell us you have good news” “chicago is fucked”

hey I know chicago

CAS IS SO SASSY

oooo it’s death time isn’t it

crowley

CROWLEY

YA B O I

this is the funniest fucking scene

HE TOOK A PICTURE

yes he sold his soul

“he has a temper issue about it” heh

hey at least he’s smart about it

he yells

OH HE’S SHORT IT’S WHAT HE’S GOT

huh his arrogance did a 180

I think…huh something’s here

GOD I LOVE CROWLEY

“boy you’re lucky you’re pretty” heh

oH THERE WE GO! THE VACCINE

aH FUCK NOT THE CROATOAN VIRUS

oh SHIT WHAT AN ENTRANCE

HOLY S H I T

“are you really gonna bitch to me” yes bobby parent him too

“have fun killing death’ “have fun with the apocalypse”

aww the wendigo years

kiNg oF thE croSsrOaDs

is…I think…is crowley trying to help

this feels…fairly ableist tbh, as does most of bobby’s plot line? like I think i get what they were going for but?

Aw Crowley doesn’t like feeligns

ah it was strengthening the vessel, the demon blood

Cas you are terrible at good news

OK! NEW PLAN! I love Bobby

AW HE’S AN ANGEL WITH A SHOTGUN

oh fun it’s zombie time

boy bobby has reflexes

haha Crowley likes his chicago pizza

I love Crowley

ah only crowley can see all the reapers

like Cas

“whelp he’s not there let’s GO!!!”

Gotta appreciate the consistency at least

the impala

Crowley was in there heh

F O u nD HI M what?

he’s in there

the fucking pizza place lolll

the zapping thing is gonna come back

god I love the teleportation thing, crowley’s such a bitch with it

shocker everyone is dead

he be calmly eating his italian food :)

bro tHERE WENT YOUR WEAPON

“bacteria” heh

death, as always, is calm and big picture

‘eat”

“contemplate your insignificance”

solid

boy he looks young here

neither of us can remember who’s older, me or god

oo i like that

ah he doesn’t like being controlled

he’s a bit more…confident? arrogant??

I’d say deserved

“I suppose it can stay…I like the pizza”

“put lucifer in the cell”

“and kill your brother lol”

“you think- “i know”

“you can’t cheat death” uh

“would you like the instruction manual”

heh

aw bobby’s enjoying his legs

“the world’s dying bloody” yeah that does put a damper on it

so everyone but Dean wants Sam to say yes huh

Dean you fucking idiot

“an ass full of character defects” HAHAHA

they both raised him jeez

he’s been doing this for…ever

“what’s the specific hang up this time”

aw and no cool ending song

Death! ok so here’s the thing. Death was calmer, but he contextualized all the other three. Pestilence clearly cared about the other two horseman, but you got the sense they were younger..? not as big picture? like why did they go along like that? what was their goal? why was death the only one who rebelled? did the other like the chaos?

and death did have this like. “I do this because I want it” thing, but also..it’s death. That scene with Dean was so tense. he had so much more power and knowledge, everyone knew it, and Dean(and the audience was floundering). Hell of a bang, and it almost made me forget how they had to put them horseman in at the very end cuz they ran out of time

needle drop. closely followed but WHAT A FUCKING ENTRANCE! YOU KNOW E X A C T L Y WHAT THE CHARACTER’S ABOUT! CHEKOV’S FUCKING G U N, IT WAS RIGHT WITH THE PIZZA TOO!!(it set up so well)

Bobby. The wheelchair thing felt…weird, but I loved his specific snark.

Cas. Mans is a strategist, you can tell. He had a PLAN going into the pestilence thing. Also, he was funny, and he handled being human quite well! he was fun to watch.

obligatory Destiel. That lil scene with crowley and the phone was condo was Cute, they’re a fun dynamic. Worth noting he talked to Sam and it was Business, but good, and also they should have vibed more.

CROWLEY. God he was so fun. He was like…the fairy godmother but he was fucking terrible at it wasn’t he. it was so good

oh yeah Sam’s the main character isn’t he. Look. He just Angst. And do Heroic thing, Yell, then Angste. Cas, Crowley, Bobby, they all DON’T ANGST, and it’s FUN!! and Dean’s guilty of this too, btw, it wasn’t that fun to watch him, but he gets to be riled by the supernatural creatures(Cas and Crowley), so it’s ok

Also, boy how explicitly can you make it that Dean had an incredibly active role in raising sam, huh?

#pawswatchesspn #look this probably should have been a serous episode but between cas and crowley and bobby and Death #it was just kinda cool #and had both VERY funny scenes #and VERY cool ones #I think I’ll watch season 5 here #and then wait till I’m back to watch season 6 #cuz that’s gonna be rough lol

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ogcassiopeia · 4 years

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M+M Answers Kpop Questions

1. Which group have you thought about stanning, but never seem to get around to it?

I’ve essentially only ever stanned TVXQ and never deviated from that but I could totally see myself stanning Shinee or Monsta X.

2. Do you have any irl friends that like kpop?

It depends on what you mean by irl. As of right now, I only have one irl friend, who lives in Canada, that enjoys kpop as much as I do. We met back in the early 2000s when both her and I were massively into TVXQ. She moved on to stanning BTS after TVXQ broke up but she still loves TVXQ and we talk about kpop and other life happenings often. The kpop friend I had here physically in my town with me eventually moved to a different city and we lost contact a few years ago. I am not even sure if she still enjoys kpop or not.

3. How old were you when you first got into kpop?

Oh gosh…I think I was 13 at the time.

4. What song(s) took you a while to warm up to?

A lot of f(x)’s earlier stuff like Nu Abo and Chu as at the time when they came out I found them to be grating and irritating. Most girl group songs take me a while to get into since I am more of a boy group kind of kpop fan.

5. Have you ever disliked a group/idol? If so, why? (You don’t have to say who it is if you’re scared of getting hate).

I wouldn’t say I dislike or hate a lot of kpop singers/groups but I would say I am either just not a fan of their personalities and/or their work. For girl groups, I especially am not a fan of BlackPink, Red Velvet or Girls Generation. I like one of two of their songs, but I find their voices irritating and feel like their talents are limited. I do feel this way about some boy bands too…but the one I do not care for is one that I may regret speaking ill of due to their fanbase.

6. What annoys you the most about kpop?

As of right now, it would be the fans. There seems to be constant harassment of people, celebrities or other fans who have differing opinions. Just let people like who they like and hate who they hate. What does it matter if they don’t agree with you? If you like the boy group/girl group/solo singer GREAT...leave it at that. You don’t need to harass or bully someone else into liking your faves.

7. What do you love the most about kpop?

The music. It brings diversity and color into my consumed media and it’s just generally enjoyable pop music fluff that I do not get from American media.

8. Do you only listen to kpop?

Nope. I listen to all kinds of music outside of kpop.

9. Who are you favorite western artists (if you have any)?

Paperwhite, The Band CAMINO, The 1975, Bad Suns, Lennon Stella, LEON, ASTR, Ralph, The Midnight

10. How long have you been into kpop?

Since 2003…so it’s been a while…17 years or so. (P.S. I am old and boring.)

11. What music did you used to listen to before getting into kpop?

Mostly American pop music, J-pop, J-rock and indie-pop.

12. What fandom(s) were you in before getting into kpop? Are you still in them?

I was super into anime and manga back then…I was a part of the Sailor Moon fandom and I still love me some Sailor Moon. I also really loved the Backstreet Boys and still do…I am going to their concert in August (as long as it doesn’t get cancelled due to coronavirus)!

13. Which group did you used to think was overrated but ended up loving?

Shinee

14. Is there a kpop song that annoys you? If so, which one?

Uhm…there are a lot of them. Some of the songs I find annoying are: I’ve Got A Boy + Oh! + Kissing You – Girls Generation, I Don’t Know What To Do – BlackPink, Everyday – WINNER, Snapping – Chungha, Dog and Cat – TXT, Seventh Sense - NCT (I am sorry to all of you who may love those songs)

15. What aspects of kpop make you cringe/feel secondhand embarrassment?

The Aegyo and overly cutesy, child-like concepts that girl groups always seem to have to participate in. Even though I know it comes from cultural differences in sexual attractiveness (I lived in Japan for years...I’ve seen it first hand), it still just creeps me out. I don’t like it in J-pop either, btw.

16. Which concepts do you love?

I LOVE dark, sexy, horror-like concepts that have been used by groups like VIXX and Dreamcatcher. I also love slick, retro themed songs based in the swing/jazz age (Something or Spellbound – TVXQ) or 80s nostalgia (I Feel You – The Wonder Girls).

17. Which concepts do you hate?

Anything overly aegyo or cutesy.

18. If you could trade places with an idol, who would it be?

I would totally love to be in Shim Changmin’s shoes….being part of an idol group considered gods in the kpop realm.

19. What do you look for in a bias?

(1) Intelligence, (2) Sassy/Funny, (3) Honest, (4) Hardworking, (5) Talented, (6) Humble

20. Which kpop company do you hate the most?

Cube or Pledis

21. What are you opinions on shipping?

It’s fine as long as fans don’t push participation of it onto the idols they’re shipping.

22. How did you get into kpop?

I saw a Kpop Countdown show on cable TV back in 2003 where they showed BoA and TVXQ and I was hooked instantly.

23. Has anyone ever made fun of you or looked at you weird for liking kpop?

I mean, yes…1000x yes, I was made fun of for loving kpop all the time. Once again, I got into kpop in 2003 y’all….which was before the internet was easily accessible in my home so I felt like the only person in America who liked kpop at the time. Not even my closest friends were into it and they felt like I was just a massive weirdo for loving it as much as I did. Thankfully, I found a community online of international kpop enthusiasts like myself to talk to in around 2005 (since I finally was able to save up for a bulky ass laptop) and that helped me feel less alone and bullied.

24. What is the cringiest thing you did when you were starting to get into kpop?

By the time kpop came into my life, I was already a set up Weeaboo, so…really I just became a deeper version of that…I was like an embarrassing kaiju cultural appropriation combo of Weeaboo and Koreaboo. I would make my own tshirts for TVXQ and just wear them out and about. They were SO BADLY MADE because I had no idea what I was doing but I thought I was so smart and stylish at the time. I also made CDs of Jpop and Kpop for people around school to hand out at lunch...I cringe just thinking about it.

25. How long does it take you to learn the names of each member in a group?

I’ve stopped learning members names nowadays LOL…I am too old for that shit and just don’t care enough anymore. (For past reference though, it took me about one week to remember all of TVXQ.)

26. Are you a gg, bg, or middle/coed stan?

Boy group stan

27. If you could hang out with one idol, who would you hang out with?

Shim Changmin of TVXQ….he’s my forever bias and I wanna hang out with his puppies and have a meal with him...ask him what he wants to do with the rest of his life once idol-dom is over.

28. Who is the bias to your third favorite group?

I guess that would be Monsta X so…uhm…it was Wonho but apparently, he isn’t in the group anymore…

29. What name from your native language would you give your ult bias?

What would I name Changmin in English? He already has a stage name that’s in English, which is Max. I am not sure what this question is asking LOL (also, who the fuck still calls Changmin, Max? I thought we dropped that shit back in 2006.)

30. Thought on fanfiction/AUs/etc?

I think it is great and gets fans to think more creatively and figure out where their talents lay! I used to write a lot of JaeMin and HoMin fanfiction back in the day…now I write mostly Destiel (Dean and Castiel from Supernatural) fanfiction.

#about me #personal #about mochi and matcha #kpop questions #get to know mochi and matcha #no one cares #if you read this...good on you #welcome to my brain...its full of tvxq and chocolate chip cookies

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almaasi · 6 years

Text

reaction post typed while watching SPN 14x03 “The Scar”

i.e. me enjoying Dean’s freckly arms, the amount Dean and Cas say each other’s names, and Claire’s confirmed queerness

02:53pm

looking forward to some dean/cas head massaging i guess???????

02:55

i suppose the “it’s not just michael we’re talking about / it’s dean” script served the purpose of being a recap soundbite

but it did sound out of character at the time

02:57

OH MY GOD DEAN’S FIXATED ON SAM’S BEARD

WHAT A (TRAUMATISED) DORK JUST TRYING TO FIND NORMAL THINGS

poor bean

02:58

soooooooooooo.. they drove dean back to the bunker, and he clearly spent a moment having a shower and redoing his hair WITH GEL AND HAIRSPRAY

AND THEN HE PUT THE MICHAEL CLOTHES BACK ON???

edit: okay no IT’S EVEN WEIRDER. HE DIDN’T TAKE A SHOWER YET BUT HIS HAIR MAGICALLY GELLED ITSELF INTO DEAN-HAIR

03:00

them hearteyes !!!!!!!!!!!!!1

AND THE FUCKING VIOLINS PLAYING IN THE BACKGOUND

SOMEONE TELL ME THAT AIN’T A ROMANTIC VIOLIN NOISE

the violins were kind of soft and tense when jack came out but only started the romantic swoop when cas came out

03:04

could’ve done with a hug right there

WHERE’S THE HUG

I DEMAND A SOFT, TIGHT HUG WITH CLOSED EYES

03:06

i miss the handprint

also jensen has REALLY nice arms

so many beautiful freckles ;~;

also i was thinking, dean ends up with waaaaay more physical scars and injuries that just about anyone on this show. the handprint, the mark of cain, this thing. and i guess it’s kind of a metaphor for how damaged and scarred he is inside, emotionally. people and creatures leave their mark on him, stake their claim, and he’s been used and abused a lot over his lifetime..

certainly more than sam

he always belongs to others, and lives to love and care for others (like baby sammy), never for himself

and funnily enough this makes me miss charlie more than anyone. because she was the one who helped dean be dean, and take time for himself, and come out of that goddamn spiked cocoon of emotional damage

one thing i rEALLY REALLY want this season is dean connecting with AU!charlie the way he did with original!charlie. >:{

he needs a charlie

03:15

and gorgeous hands too ;A:

i think delicate man hands are my favourite kind

you can TELL he’s a guitar player, his hands are artist’s hands

i hope he writes his own songs and sings them to his children and misha

and i hope one day he’ll release an album of original songs

ugh

ughgugguuhuh

03:17

i can’t believe half of the interaction between dean and cas goes like this:

cas: isfsjdkfdjcjdf dean sdkgfdkfgkjfgjfdk

dean: jashfsgjfj cas jdfjdjghjgjgh

cas: dean...

dean: cas! c’mon

they just........say each other’s names??? and that’s the whole conversation??? and they can change each other’s minds like saying their name is a whole argument????

i swear to fucking god i could write a fic where literally the ONLY thing dean and cas do together is say each other’s names with different inflections and tilt their heads and make pouty faces or frown or gulp or touch each other’s arms or breathe in certain ways, and by the end of it they’re kissing and it’s not even out of character

i know there’s a bunch of you who just nodded and you’re gonna message me to write that aren’t you

0323

omg dean’s little bumpadabump on the table

“hit me”

03:24

i wonder if that sword was an ACTUAL michael sword

or the wielder was a creature from kaia’s nightmare universe

03:26

oh yes i was right, it was one of those au creatures

OOH DO WE GET TO SAVE KAIA NOW

and have her and claire smooch please (and be a destiel parallel)

03:29

WHO IS SHE

CAN SHE BE A REGULAR WHO DOESN’t DIE PLEASE

okay yeah i’m definitely noticing a tiny trend this season of more women and people of colour

03:21

AW MAN

i don’t want MORE reasons why cas can’t go too

but hey at least they’re giving him actual important things to do in the meantime, rather than him just disappearing without explaination

03:34

the smile on dean’s face when he sees jody!!!!!!

also i thought there was a goat in the background of this scene but nope it’s just out lamb astra calling for someone to give her some milk already

03:35

sam’s sassy smile when he looks at dean

JODY LIKES HIS BEARD

i actually like it too tbh. the fact i don’t notice it unless someone points it out means it suits him

03:41

aaaah good they remembered sam’s obsession with serial killers

03:43

i love that this episode seems to be making full use of the bunker’s interesting rooms, plus the people who live in it and their interests

03:46

OHSAJHRFDJESUS CHRIST THAT MADE ME JUMP

MY CAT JUST CAME IN TO SEE IF i‘M OKAY

i wanna say that was great directing but i feel like a specific “it’s just a memory.... NOPE IT’S RIGHT NOW” shot would’ve come directly from the script

so kudos to berens for that

but also robert singer too for pulling it off

wow

03:51

YEEE THEY FOUND KAIA

god i want a dress like that

03:53

woman whose name i wish i knew (jules?): “sage, pyrite, and sheep’s eye? we got that here?”

cas: “yes.. storage room, red cabinet, bottom drawer. it’s marked... gross stuff”

three guesses who made that label

also regarding the pyrite - they must go through a lot of cyrstals doing these spells. i wonder if they have to do trips to the local crystal shops or if they buy wholesale

and who did the original buying? imagine dean and cas visiting the shop and dean being like “ooh shiny” and cas being like “dean that’s literally glass”. and dean sniffing ALL the intense. and then frowning at how expensive crystals are, then taking them all home and unwrapping them and spending an hour labelling them all

03:56

lauren/laura? [about cas]: “is that your dad?”

jack: “one of them, yes”

now i want an au where jack is in school and everyone assumes his parents are a gay couple but actually they’re just team free will who unanimously adopted him

but spoilers, dean and cas become a couple after repeated hints from other people and visiting the parent-teacher evening together and having everyone assume things so they just roll with it, and it not even feeling weird by the end of the night

maaaaan i wish i was less exhausted all the time so i could just write everything immediately and every day

04:00

oh shoot i’m not even halfway through this yet

really enjoying it btw

04:02

the necklace is probably cursed

04:06

jody: “anything connected to kaia and she’s a powder keg. first love strikes quick, and to lose it like that?”

DREAMHUNTER CONFIRMED

DESTIEL PARALLEL CONFIRMED

GAY CONFIRMED

NEEDS MORE GAY and more destiel parallel

but fuckigng g YES i love this 12/10 what this show needed AND WHAT WE WANTED IN WAYWARD DAUGHTERS goddammit

04:14

don’t they take jewellery and other effects off the bodies when they put them in the morgue?

also called it, the cursed necklace

(undoubtedly written so the audience guesses it first)

04:20

she just................j umped out th fuck ing win dow

but of course she’s gonna go get her spear

04:25

proud momma bird

04:03

oh no jack.....................

04:30pm

IT’S OVER THAT WAS GREAT

so happy to see kaia’s face gain, i really hope actual kaia can be saved somehow?? idk if that’s possible given that she Properly Died

but cas doing stuff, even if that stuff is being proud of jack

TWO WOMEN OF COLOUR WHO DIDN’T DIE YEE (is this a first? because even with missouri and patience, missouri died. and with alicia and her mother, her mother died. kaia may already be dead but her face isn’t) (would be BETTER if they interacted too but heck i’ll take it)

it was also really nice to see dean again

and his freckly arms

and cas doing the hearteyes

but BY FAR THE GREATEST THING IS CLAIRE/KAIA BEING CONFIRMED ROMANTIC

WE ALL KNEW IT, BUT CONFIRMATION !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HELL YES

10/10 episode, i am thoroughly content

#Elmie watches things #14x03 #the scar #season 14 #Destiel #Dreamhunter #Claire x Kaia #post of postiness #spn spoilers #Robert Berens #Robert Singer #Claire Novak

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159potterhead · 3 years

Note

I used do something like this too I'll imagine I'm in a talk show and I'm the guest and I'll vent about things in front of imaginary audience, crack a few jokes and those people loved me😅

It's okay. If you ever feel low let me know I'll be always around lurking over here I'm also I was thinking about setting a camp in your ask box if you don't mind I mean the place is huge and we can be neighbours. We can hang out all the time. Invite each other over dinner 💖🤩

(I listen to all the new song you put in here. It's a lovely song. You have a great taste in music✨)

Yeah I remember. (I'll get to the writer thing but since you asked I should tell you this) I also used to do painting and I get crazy while doing it, I'm kinda perfectionist about doing things so I don't do things unless I'm the best at it (coz I'm not good with handling criticism and anxiety is a real deal) I used to do sketching and canvas painting and it was like a do or die situation for me coz I don't let myself eat or do anything else unless I get it right and perfectly done and during that time I used be cranky for few days. It's been more than a year and I really wanna do something but yeah I don't have that kind of energy anymore. And yeah I write too although I'm new to the writing thing. I started writing like 2 years ago and those fics were only meant for me. I had a lot of ideas so I wrote a few things and wip and I never had courage to post them coz there are many great people writing better stories and I never planned the ending of any of the fics so I never posted them. I write mainly destiel so a few months back in December I was mad at the show of course and few other things and I was like screw it I'm gonna post the thing. No one's gonna read it anyway. It's this fic I wrote in 2019 and I never planned ending to it and that's the first one I posted and people really liked it I've got like 86 comments so at first I thought they were being nice but now I think they really like it so I've to plan some ending to it I can't abandon it. I've posted around 11 chapters to that one. God! I've to write more. I can shoot you up with link I would love to know your opinion but I think you will recognise me coz I have similar username there.

Lets play a game called who am I. Give me your top guesses if I'm one of them I'll shoot up the link. (Have you heard that fall out boy song; Let's play this game called "when you catch fire I wouldn't piss to put you out")

And I'm assuming you also write fics you've done a great job earlier. Do you write Harry Potter or destiel or anything else? What's your favourite trope?

🎶I'm an angel with a shotgun fighting til' the wars won I don't care if heaven won't take me back I'll throw away my faith, babe, just to keep you safe don't you know you're everything I have? And I, wanna live, not just survive, tonight🎶

omggg I am so sorry!! I don’t know how long this has been sitting here! I didn’t receive any notifications from you since yesterday so I thought I’d check my inbox and boom, tumblr didn’t send me one for this ask! I feel so bad for making you wait so long! (I hope it wasn’t long tho, since idk when you sent this)

saaame😆 oo you have fans I see;)

thank you🥺 and you too btw, if you ever feel low or you wanna vent or rant, hit my inbox. a camp? baby i’ll build you a mansion<3 and yesss we could have dinner at each other’s house and sleepovers that’d be so fun!!😁💞

(aww you do?☺️ and thanks, I know😎 my taste in music is the only thing I’m confident about lol)

woooah my gf is a painter too?? jeez, get you💅😌✨ and wow that doesn’t seem... healthy😬. but I suppose the end results would have to be incredibly amazing right? I’ve seen your ask stories and they’re chefs kiss, so I bet your actual fics are even 10x better! ooo that’s great!!! I wanna read it so bad, but i’m afraid it’ll blow your cover😭 aah yes that’s what I thought! we’ll have to find a way.

ooooo that’s exciting. I sorta wanna know who you are but I’m also liking this anon vibes to be honest😫 and I secretly don’t want this to end. but okay let’s give it a go. hmm. I’ll try to guess your blog but not who cause honestly there’s a lot ahah. (and yess I love that song!😆)

you’re definitely a spn blog that’s for sure.

idk why but I feel like your url must have something to do with lotr since it means a lot to you.

you don’t post that much, and when you do it’s often reblogs. maaaybe some rants here and there but they’re usually no biggie.

you don’t have your pronouns in your bio, idk why i’m guessing this.

maybe i’m reading too much into this but I feel like your theme is either earthy or pastel.

I mostly write ow, and I have never completed anything in my entire life thank you very much. everything’s just wip💀 it sucks cause I could be only one page away from the ending but procrastinate and end up working on a new story. the cycle never ends sigh.... but I’ve been meaning to finish this one story that I’ve been writing for about two years lol, and I would like you to read it! I will let you know when I actually finish it;) and hmm idk what my favourite trope is honestly, if it vibes it vibes yk. what’s yours?

🎶no matter where I go, I'm always gonna want you back. no matter how long you're gone, I'm always gonna want you back. I know you know I will never get over you. no matter where I go, I'm always gonna want you back. want you back🎶💕

#my beloved ily<3 #thee lover anon saga <3

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whythehandbasket · 7 years

Text

dee's super ultra 'this girl might have a problem' mega delux fanfic reclist

≡ haikyuu ≡

↳ iwaoi 「favourite writers: loveclouds -- carafin -- ohhotlamb -- newamsterdam --notallbees -- tothemoon」

Chasing Paper Suns – oneshot, college-future fic with long distance being the main theme, it’s heartbreakingly beautiful with a good ending

just hear me out – oneshot, amazing soulmate au with a twist

it’s bad enough we get along so well -- oneshot, where a confession happens before they leave for college

bloom -- oneshot, epic ability au set in canon volley verse

the river runs -- oneshot, getting back together

All kinds of winnders – oneshot, nsfw (iwa/oi) some good stuff

Diluculum – oneshot, hurt/comfort yumminess

Dinner and a Movie – oneshot, fakedating or is it? ;3c

Either Way – oneshot, nsfw, if you want good porn then here it is

sweet flesh and hard nails -- oneshot, nsfw, reunion sex

bad coffee & lemon bars – oneshot, my fav iwaoi coffeeshop au

the truth is out there – oneshot, it’s ridiculously funny

mint – oneshot, one of those writers i read everything for

Only Fools Fall – multichap completed, that rare epic a/b/o verse fic

stumbling into the sun – oneshot, nsfw, oikawa has a praise kink but not for that dirty talk kind, matsuhana is hilarious in this

Super Spy Husbands ‘Verse – fic series you might already know about but if not then get on with it bc its the most awesome thing!

you’re looking like you fell in love tonight – oneshot, fakepretend goodness

Loves Me, Loves Me Not -- oneshot, oikawa is being ridiculous

15Minutes – multichap completed, iwa-chan becomes famous

Storm Season – multichap completed, avatar au

↳ matsuhana

rated m for – oneshot, i want to see this au for every single of my ships

stranger things – oneshot, memelord radio djs, side iwaoi as always

hang out fall in love – oneshot, about witch doctors

plus one – oneshot, the canon one

poolside -- oneshot, pool confessions

↳ kurodai

If I Could Change Your Mind – oneshot, set during the training camp

the faster we are falling – oneshot, pining kuroo is my fav kuroo

And flowers bloom in his wake – oneshot, modern magic type of thing but set in canon

i ain’t even heard the question, but i know i’ll say yes – multi wip, kuroo failing at relationship gay chicken

A Friend’s Duty – oneshot, it’s about kurodai but the kurosuga interaction sells it

↳ oikuroo

burning bright – oneshot, elemental magic slash fictional sport shit going down, everyone should read this fic it’s a masterpiece

the dream that wakes you up – multichap completed, fakepretend / friends with benefits turning serious

bad boy & boy wonder -- oneshot, rival actors au

↳ ushioi

#notalovestory – oneshot, actors au with ushioi in a nutshell

A Place to Call Home – multichap completed, oikawa is ushiwaka’s kid’s babysitter and he gets ridiculously attached to both oh btw the kid is tobio! i adore this for the gorgeous and cute oikage interactions, baby tobio is precious.

The Benevolent King of the Grand King’s Heart – oneshot, that plottwist tho!!!

Slow Burn – oneshot, nsfw, for that quality sin aesthetic

↳ kurotsuki

the jaywalkers series – look, this fic series must be one of my all time fav hq anything that came out of this fandom, it made me believe that there are good kurotsuki fics out there and i don’t even ship this ship or i don’t outside of this fic. it has the most entertaining, funny, witty writing style i’ve ever seen, the amount of quotes i go back to in this fic are amazing. kurotsuki is also not the only ship it has iwaoi, bokuaka, yamayachi, daisuga too! a masterpiece in my book.

to the beat of my heart – twoshot, awesome au awesome author

↳ oisuga

Stuck in The Middle With You – multichap completed, the shit that made me ship this ship

all you have is your silence -- oneshot, college au

stratospheres -- oneshot, about spirits

≡ knb ≡

↳ gen

because this is a gem and i’m a caring friend ;3

Anticyclone – oneshot, really fun gom dynamic where kise’s flat ends up being everyone’s flat and important choices are made

Crossroads, and Other Places We Met – gen gom at its finest

Walk Through a Valley of Lilies – a series collection about post winter cup stuff, some of them contain shippy undertones but mostly gen

Standing Up – multi wip, timetravel, gen, kagami travels back to teikou days

Protective – oneshot, gom being protective of kuroko

↳ aoka

because he cares – aokaga, oneshot, this author writes nice aokas

burning concrete – aokaga, oneshot, LOVE how poetic this one is serious fav

Firefly Without a Light – aokaga, twoshot, aomine the dummy

Invincible – aokaga, multichap, touou kagami and aomine

Five Fingers; A Love Story – oneshot, aokaga

Softer than Before (All The Second Chances) – multi finished, aokagakuro if you’re into that

↳ aoki

Glad You Came – multi completed, aokise

Atmosphere (or, Casual Affair) – oneshot, aokise

Boyfriend Bluff – twoshot, aokise, fakepretend

moustachiopenguin is my fav aokise writer, her Just Breathe and One Day, He Says fics are my fav for the ship

≡ the raven cycle ≡

↳ pynch

Time Isn’t Real (but you’re a constant) -- multichap completed, time travel au, future!adam switches places with present!adam and he has a wedding ring on his finger

Just To Be Quiet -- multichap wip, one of those fandom favourites everyone will rec you, pynch having a psychic bond since childhood

Larger Than Life -- multichap completed, the first fandom favourite fic anyone will rec you, childhood friends au

Rootabaga Country -- multichap wip, the greatest magical realism fic ever, this author writes amazing world building fics

Son of the Nuclear A-Bomb -- multichap completed, amazing ronan-centric fic, a lot of ronan-niall history packed into it

This Isn’t a Heist -- oneshot, fake-pretend dating where ronan wants to piss off declan and ends up lying about dating adam and well…keep those eyes wide -- oneshot, matchmaker cabeswater demands that pynch gets on with it, it should be awkward but instead it’s so sweet!!

Worthy Of A Crush -- oneshot, everyone’s into adam who’s oblivious while ronan is clearly not

I Would Be Glad To Tell You and Walk Away -- oneshot, the very first trc fic i ever read and it’s still a fav

Hit Reset -- multichap wip, amnesia fic

Goodbye Highway -- multichap completed, amnesia fic, ronan forgets everything post niall-death so he doesn’t remember blue and adam

Six to Eight Months -- multichap completed, the raven king coda fic between chapter 67 and the epilogue

King by the Roadside -- multichap, ot5

What Stays and What Fades Away -- multichap completed, magical exes getting together again

Heart of Stone, Heart of Flesh -- multichap completed, amazing au where Adam is a veterinarian and Ronan dreamt up a whole menagerie of extinct/magical creatures

there’s an additional great reclist if you want more ot5 fics too

≡ the foxhole court ≡

↳ andreil

Lessons in Cartography -- multchap completed, probably the next best thing after the canon books, picks up right after the last book and runs with it

switchblade is my preferred weapon -- multichap completed, best raven!neil fic, a complete rewrite

Armies -- multichap completed, an au where the Hatfords took Neil in and away to Europe but he's still a prize for his dad and the Moriyamas and oh he still ends up meeting and loving Andrew

dangerous magics -- multichap completed, magical au

And We'll Be Running -- multichap completed, the band au where the Monsters are a band and andreil sings and writes songs together and fall in love

light fires at night (to push back the void) -- multichap completed, about andreil and i love yous

everything from Saul but especially her epic mermen/pirates/magic au series Fear No Fall

please tell me it's just the fandom freaking out -- aka the social media au where andreil has no chill for PR shit

right side of rock bottom -- oneshot, andreil learning to touch and trust

we might be hollow (but we're brave) -- multichap completed, neighbours au about healing

here's a mostly tumblr-posted reclist/compilation from back the time when the fandom was a lot smaller

an interesting tfc/trc crossover fic

my most fav crossover fic ever tfc/teen wolf

now i know i said i'd slap destiel recs onto this too but i feel like you'll be ready to drop the moment you see the length of this fic already, so what i'm gonna do is that i'll share my treasure box beautiful site that is destielfanfic which is like the best library for destiel fics, old/classics/fanfavorites/fresh titles/bangs EVERYTHING can be found on it! it has the most astounding tagging-searching system ever so it's easy to find everything your reader heart might wish for. if you still feel like asking for a proper reclist from me then feel free to come back and @ me anytime though! sorry for dropping this later than promised, i had to re-link my trc/pynch list because the links were dead on it + until now i haven't done a tfc reclist so that was from scratch. i hope you have fun with this, cheers!

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jeongukkiee · 7 years

Text

MY BLOG IS GOING TO BE CHANGING A BIT MY LOVES

tw ⚠️slight mentions of bad mental health

So I feel like I’ve messed up. As a blog with a lot of followers, I feel like I should stick to what I originally posted about: destiel. But I can’t. And I’m so sorry. I’ve shipped destiel for about 4 years hardcore. My room is covered in supernatural things and I have most of the merch and I love it so much. Unfortunately, I loved it too much. And it became unhealthy.

For a long time, I’ve been badly depressed, and I’ve attended many many therapy sessions. And taken medication and been so down I’ve done awful things. And throughout that I had supernatural, or more precisely destiel, to keep me going. (And twenty one pilots, but my love for them will never stop haha, and my connection to their songs is pretty much too personal even to write here.)

So, I had supernatural and I told myself that I would stay alive until destiel became canon. I obsessed over it becoming canon and looked at all the theories and hoarded fics on my phone and every single time my mum insulted destiel (she’s been watching the show since it started) I would want to end my life. I am not kidding. That’s how much i invested in two fictional characters in a ship that is not only abusive and unhealthy and toxic, but had consent issues (I know these aren’t huge and I’ve debunked most myself but still…they’re there).

Destiel is still important to me, because anyone with two eyes can see there is a deep emotional connection and a great love between Dean and Cas.

But I can’t let it dictate my happiness and I can’t let myself run my blog out of duty when I could change to blogging about twenty one pilots and skam and be happy and content! Supernatural queerbaits and that is not okay. What I’m saying is that I’ll be posting less destiel, still a lot though, but MORE skam and tøp. Because that’s what I want and it’s my blog. :)

Skam makes me exceptionally happy. Not only am I thoroughly invested in LGBTQIA rights, but mental health and religion are also topics that are relevant and interesting to me. I love the fact that the actors are mostly treated with respect and I love the vibe in the fandom where everyone seems happy and supportive! Supernatural has horrible sides to the fandom that make me want to scream (e.g. Those that want Misha dead…WTF how is that even possible!!? And wincest shippers and the list goes on.) I love the way that skam is interactive. I love the fact it uses people who actually look teenage, with acne and stuff. I love the message S3 carries and I love how relatable it is to me.

This is not a goodbye to the spn fandom. I can never do that. This is a goodbye to the side of me that was obsessive. I need something to help me in my (slow) recovery and for me Spn holds too many painful memories.

I know that SKAM isn’t perfect. It has messy relationships, and sometimes there is overlap, but that is real life. There is true character development not just by Isak in his perception of being gay, but Sana’s views too. I love the acceptance of the group about Isak’s sexuality and I love the ideas of feminism in s2. I love how we get to watch a relationship blossom despite mental illness. I love how Isak becomes accepting of Even and I love that Magnus is just so knowledgeable on mental health. :) The show addressed mental health in a fantastic and subtle way. The ‘du er ikke alene ’ moment struck a chord with me and I feel like it addressed the fans as well as Even.

The show showed that mental health can damage relationships, but if you truly care about someone, you will learn how to be there for them, and let them be there for you, and the relationship can work out.

Overall, my blog is gonna go through some changes. You will see: - More skam -Less destiel but a lot of supernatural…I STILL SHIP DESTIEL BTW. Just not hardcore. -more twenty one pilots because they continue to keep me alive every day. -MENTAL HEALTH STUFF 🌟

Thank you if you follow me. You make me happy ❤️ I understand if you want to unfollow, but I’d love it if you would stay.

I’ve made some lovely friends this past year and I want to say that I haven’t forgotten you. We can still talk about Dean and cas and cry our eyes out!! Just not unhealthily on my part haha. Xx

To those who have read this: 1. Firstly well done I wrote an essay pwahaha 2. I hope you continue to like what I post 3. My name is Chloe and I am 17 and one day I will recover and my mental health will be good. I will recover. And so will you.

Happy shipping my loves! ❤️

P.s I will be changing my URL at some point xox

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