#this song makes me want to dance and sing and fight things and also maybe have my head in dazais lap idk idk

[youaremysunshine-court]

Wake up call from dead apple is the only song ever

[k2ntoss]

Can I request Jason blurb with the last prompt from the list of jealousy over a crush prompt please? The prompt is too long for me to remember so sorry that I make you look it up 😭

no need to be sorry, my dear, i already did this prompt here BUT i have a new idea going brrrr on my head so i really hope you enjoy it, love

"if you're so worried that someone will snatch me up, why don't you just confess to me right now?"

this is not your usual friday night, today you've pulled your best friend to a club with you but who can blame you? it was reggeaton night and your blood couldn't help it, the bass of the music made your whole body tremble and you could see a lot of people dancing around you, bodies pressed and sensual moves that the music made even better because of how well it mixed. pulling jason by the hand you make your way to the bar, in the years you've been in college you learned to love this kind of music because of a few friends and you even learned a fair level of spanish to sing your lungs out with your favorite songs.

"i swear i don't know how i let you do this to me" jason says with an amused smirk when he sees you looking around with the excitement of a kid on the toy island from the super, he hands you a glass of whatever he ordered while he sips from a beer can "maybe because you love me with your whole heart and you'll go to the end of the world for me" and he can't help but chuckle even if he knows you're damn right because jason is neck deep into you, he'll do anything if you asked him to so here he is but hey, the guy has limits so when you look at him and then at the place where everybody is dancing he shakes his head.

"maybe not to the end of the world, babydoll" jason leans against the bar, his arms flexed making him look bigger and your brain is filled with how much you would like to be dancing with jason, your arms around his neck and his hands on your hips while your bodies are pressed so close you're about to melt into each another but you only pout "you're boring, jay..." but your mood shifts when the speakers go silent right before your favorite song sounds and your pleading eyes are calling him, telling jason to give in but he's a bit too proud and he also knows that as soon as you strat swinging yoir hips in front of him it will be hard for him to hold back.

his denial makes you turn around and you thank heavens because there's a group of your college friends in a corner so you run there, not wasting any other second you're dancing with them while jason watches at a safe distance because he swears that the way you swirl around, with your hands moving so sensually over your body is making him feel things. you sip from your glass and smile when your friends are cheering you up, swinging your hips and going down and poor jay, he is right there fighting himself because of the urge he feels to touch you all over, to kiss you so deeply while your bodies grind together.

but he is pulled out of his mind when a guy touches your waist, he smiles in a way that has a lot of your friends giggling when he asks you if he dances with you and jason is so close to lose his shit. that guy is doing what he wants to do with you, hands over your waist as he pulls you closer, his face too close to yours and you seem to enjoy it, you let him turn you around and even get closer to move your body against his, making him lean in and it's when he presses his lips on your neck that jason leaves his third drink to walk towards you.

"i think you're testing your luck" his voice is deep and the intensity of it makes you both stop right there, the sight of jason standing behind the guy that was dancing with you, his hand on the poor dude's shoulder while he towers over him "you never told me you had a boyfriend" he tells you right before he steps away muttering a stream of apologies "but he's not my–" and your words die as soon as jason smirks behind his back, looking a bit too proud of spoiling your fun "what on earth is wrong with you, jason?" and reality hits him.

he's a bit too used to be called jay by you or some other too cheesy pet name you can come out with, he likes it and he knows he's in trouble when you call him by his name but it's even worse when after that you just decide to walk past him. he just follows your figure as you storm out of the club, he can see your friends muttering between them but he ignores them, going after you to solve this.

"so you expect me to be happy when some random dude is kissing your neck?" he almost yells behind you, even wearing those uncomfortable shoes you're quickly walking away from him and his shame is the only thing that slows him down "are you telling me that i should have let him touch you all over and pretend it was okay?" and his words make you stop on your tracks "i can't see a problem there, i was dancing and having fun before you decided to act like a guardian dog" you point at him, walking dangerously close to him until he swears he's able to smell your sweet perfume.

"i do see a problem, he was practically fucking you with clothes!" he snaps back, towering over you as he tries to make you see the real issue because the one who should be dancing with you like that was jason, it should have been his hands pulling you closer to press your ass against him, kissing your neck while he said things into your ear "and what's the damn problem?!" you know your questions and words are making him more frustrated but you can't really find out why "that you shouldn't do that with someone like him! god, y/n, it should have been–" and he shuts up before he screws up.

"it should have been who, jason?" he sighs at your question, shaking his head before walking away from you "it should have been you? is that what you're trying to say?" jason stops at your words, was he so evident right now and his posture makes you realize "you have to be kidding me... the next fucking time you want to act all possessive make sure you are clear" your words are a mix of anger and joy, feeling the need to go and kiss him deeply is about to overtake the annoyance you feel because you really wanted to dance "if you're so worried that someone will snatch me up, why don't you just confess to me right now?"

when jason turns around your eyes are fixed on him, he looks at you almost as if trying to figure out if he heard you right "would i have a chance if i did?" he asks, crossing his arms once he's at one arm distance from you, he's question being answered with an annoyed grunt followed by a kiss from your lips to his while you can still listen to the bass of one of those old school reggeaton songs.

[luminouslywriting]

As a recent convert to the ladies who Brady crew, I love the idea of Brady wanting to learn more about his girl's interests. She loves Pilates? He's trying a class. She has a favorite author? He's checking out one of their books. She likes plants? Brady's always wanted a cactus! He would just be so cute and eager to share. 😊

Ahh this is darling so I just had to go on a slight rabbit hole for you Nonny! Because you're so right and he's such a supportive guy! Cut for length :) And keep sending me stuff, this is so much fun! Some light spice mentions below the cut!

-John Brady is above all things, a supportive man—and when it comes to you, he just adores you. Worships the ground that you walk on, thinks that you're prettier than starlight and more important to him than the sun is to the life of earth.

-That being said, if you have a hobby or an interest, he is running with it at full-force and attempting to make it a bonding experience.

-You want to get into art? Babe, he is finding some local art classes and trying his hand at it. Now I don't think he's all that great at drawing....but painting? He absolutely is great at it! I imagine he's really into painting landscapes and finds a lot of comfort and peace in it!

-This maybe leads to some more precarious moments between the two of you....paint fights that turn into messy sex is absolutely on the table haha

-You want to get into hiking or rock climbing? GREAT! He loves being outside and in nature and fitness is pretty important to him! So he's gonna be your hiking buddy for sure! -He absolutely would carry your water for you and make sure that HE has the backpack because he wants you to just have a good time and be able to enjoy nature.

-Rock climbing might be a little more worrisome to him but he loves getting to spend time with you and he really enjoys watching the way that you concentrate so fully on something. It's definitely a turn on for him.

-Oh you like photography? He might be a little bashful, but he's absolutely your muse and he's going to get in on the action

-This definitely means there are a few risqué photos of you that only his eyes have ever seen haha

-Yoga? HOT YOGA

-You want to get into sports? Fantastic! He definitely did a few things in high school and he's a decent enough athlete that he can pull off an average performance in some of the sports he's not as well-acquainted with

-Definitely takes advantage of trying to show you how to golf, or how to hold a tennis racket or baseball bat though haha

-Archery? I'M THINKING OF THE SCENE WHERE MIA AND NICHOLAS FROM PRINCESS DIARIES 2 PRACTICE ARCHERY

-I had to include the gif haha

-You want to get into baking or cooking? He's going to have the time of his life making food with you and it's the most wholesome domestic thing

-Definitely gets a little heated in the kitchen if you know what I mean

-You're into gardening? Great! He loves gardens and wants to make sure you have your favorite flowers or your favorite plants!! And he always surprises you with new plants!

-You're into reading or writing? He's going to read whatever books you like after you read them, or he's going to suggest to you some of his favorites.

-And if you're a writer then he's going to read everything you write and hypes you up! He's also going to be honest about his opinions and tell you what he thinks could be better (in the best and most constructive way)

-You like dancing? BABY, he will take you dancing every weekend and has the time of his life when he does!

-Board games is a hobby? He gets so competitive when it comes to Scrabble, it's not even funny

-You play a different instrument than him or you like to sing? AMAZING!! He's going to ask you to teach him about your instrument and that might get a little heated haha.

-Would absolutely harmonize your favorite songs with you because I think he has a great voice!

-You're into collecting things? Be it baseball cards, butterflies, coins, stamps, whatever it is—he's going to get in on it and try to find you the ones you're missing!

-An academic?? He adores that about you and will try to read up and learn about your favorite field of study, be it history, science, or whatever it is!

-Anywho....I could go on forever and ever, but these are just a few general things that I think he'd be like when it comes to your interest and hobbies

[adastra121]

Touchstarved x The Amazing Devil

Since I use a bunch of The Amazing Devil songs on my Touchstarved OC playlists, I decided to match them to each of the main LIs. They're mostly the romantic songs, I highlighted the words that made me think of the characters.

Kuras= “Inkpot Gods.” Fighting god for the one you love. Walking a lonely path. The wild feeling of breaking free from the fate you thought you were bound to, the one you believed you deserved. Rewriting tragedy into redemption.

“Oh, what? These, these aren't tears. It's just the rain that wasn't brave enough to fall.”

“And what you see is not the dark, It’s just the gods upturning ink pots 'cause they know what you’ll become.”

"And to those gods, I will speak bluntly 'We've an accord, if you ever touch or harm him Please, rest assured that you might not fear a man But to me, by the end, you'll kneel and plea. 'Cause I'm more than what they all told me to be.'"

"And I wish that I could take their hand, But where I'm going is for me and me alone."

"If I don't make it back from where I've gone, Just know I loved you all along."

Leander= “Fair.” Mostly just vibes. Maybe it’s the gentle guitar, the autumnal sound. A space of solace, so achingly and heartwarmingly normal. The hint of insecurity and bitterness toward the world. The charming awkwardness and humour. I don’t know, this song sounds like Leander's giving you a hug. XD

"And he, he curses at the world For leaving him behind, and he's falling out of touch And they are stronger than he's ever been, he knows."

"And if you asked me to, if you asked me, I would lose it all Like petals in a storm."

"And calm throughout his melodrama They will turn and say, 'Dear heart, it's me, it's me. You don't need to pretend to be someone you're not.'"

"'How unfair, how unfair,' they'll sing As they dance across the darling rooftop wreck."

Vere= “That Unwanted Animal.” It’s either feral in a horny way or horny in a feral way. I don’t know which. Both, maybe? I imagine this is what it’d be like if Vere devoured you.

"And as you grip me like an animal that you're about to spear 'Be good to me,' I whisper."

"I'm the touch you crave, I'm the plans that you made, But fuck all your plans, I'm bored! ‘And can't you hear that scratching?’ I ask your eyes."

"And we fall into each other, the scratching grows so loud Because that unwanted animal wants nothing more than to get out… Oh, and you rip my ribcage open and devour what's truly yours."

"'Be good to me,' I beg of him. And he replies, 'No, no, not I.'"

Ais= “Ruin.” The wreckage after a storm. The strength and the fight inside you that has helped you survive until now being the very thing that destroys what matters to you. Ill-timed jokes. Unspoken regrets. Second chances among the ruin. Also the bird sounds throughout, because, you know. Sparrow. Hehe.

"Our mortar was your laughter And you hurled curses at the land. We didn't talk, we made universes Out of bitten lips and broken hands." This is basically the summary of Ais's scenes in the demo

Mhin= “Drinking Song for the Socially Anxious.” Not belonging, but desperately wanting to. Screaming silence and yearning to be heard. Chance meetings with someone else on the outside looking in. Being outsiders together. Oh, and there’s a cat.

"And I know I won't be long 'Cause I know I don't belong."

"As all my steps too far keep telling me 'This is who you are,' I should go home. I'm not lonely. I just like being on my own."

"Now I'm lying on a bed full of coats Trying desperately to cope. When you open up the door, say something stupid like 'You're lying on some coats,' I say, I know."

[solarwynd]

Wasn't it the comapny that gave the TXT guy (yeonjun hope that's right name) cause i remember watching a clip where he was like "I'll do my best to make the title worth" or something like that. Idk if the "IT boy" title existed before jm in kpop but what i know is he made that title relevant in kpop, he made it big and literally no one (as far now) in kpop can outdo him or even reflect half of his talents and success so the 4th gen fans fighting for IT boy for their fav is funny cause at their age jimin wasn't just getting hit tweets from stan twitter but he was making it so big that his name is the first thing that ppl remembers when they hear kpop, he's with his music since his first solo, he's got streams, big numbers, sales, recognition, brands behind him, style, artistry, like there wasn't single thing left that he wasn't rulling with so it's funny if they think their favs can have that title because they got some hit tweets on twitter cause where is everything else that jm got?? Where is the reflection of that? No where so either show it your fav getting those or shut up with that title. Nothing against any of the 4th gen idols by the way it's their fans I'm talking about. Also hybe does try to push the guy alot, they do give him alot of "spotlight" and they do want to portray him as something similar to jm but it's sadly it's not happening anywhere. Neither in perfomances nor anywhere else.

Now it's pathetic how KTHs try so hard to steal ant title they can for TH cause they kinda know he's got no relevant titles. See call me an anti or whatever but this is me being a very unbiased person but for me taehyung is the most overrated idol cause he literally is not offering anything given his status. It's only because he's good that ppl love him (same case as enwoo) cases he's neither got the voice or singing, nor the dance or perfomce, and don't get me started with his personality cause kwgsisjskshsksjskdbsjsm still can't get what "unique" the fans and members see in him. Idk maybe because he's rebellious kinda guy so they find it attractive or what but for me he's childish, immature, and a irresponsible person at many occasions so yeah. KTHs be call him main-lead dancer, lead vocalists, perfomer, IT boy (they literally have it in thier @ as if they don't know who the fandom calls it with). KTHs is nothing but stealing titles and flex the followers that reflects nowhere in his artistry cause imagine friends being his first song that surpassed 100k then 300k sales in US, having those streams, Jimin outdoing him every single time with his sales and streams whie they be flexing some magzine sales like i really find it pathetic that you got nothing to flex about his artistry so you're flexing him as some model lol

“4th gen fans fighting for IT boy for their fav is funny cause at their age jimin wasn't just getting hit tweets from stan twitter but he was making it so big that his name is the first thing that ppl remembers when they hear kpop, he's with his music since his first solo, he's got streams, big numbers, sales, recognition, brands behind him, style, artistry, like there wasn't single thing left that he wasn't rulling”

.🎯

Wouldn’t even call th “overrated” because people are very honest about exactly what his main appeal is, and that’s physicality. He’s more over praised because people have concocted that everything else he puts out somehow matches the level of his attractiveness. Which is what I’ve said before about him getting away with a lot of mediocrity because of it. No one really reveres his music because there’s nothing special or memorable about it. Some will throw in his personality like you said but it’s 👎🏾 to me. Most armys are drawn to him because he’s aloof and it makes him desirable in their eyes, but he just comes off as real pretentious and snobby.

[rinsuniverse]

Hiiii I keep reading your work like everyday, I just love it and hope you’re doing well!! I absolutely live for a flushed woozi, could you do a thing on what you think would make him flustered???

Thanks a million for making my day better just with your little posts, you deserve all the praise! ❤️

how you make woozi flustered! ✧˖°.

lots of things make our brilliant producer, woozi, flustered!

but here are some things his s/o will do that'll make him blush uncontrollably

when you're at the gym with him and you spot him

as he does a weight that's typically heavier than his usual, you say things like

"you got this! just breathe through this set!"

and "come on, just do one more rep for me"

he's already flushed, his ears a bright red

but it isn't until you say something along the lines of "you looked really good doing that rep. like hot." while you're taking a water break with him

that he spits out his water and is hiding his face in his hands

if you compliment him in public, he can't help but feel flustered

the best way to make him flustered is to do physical contact

like literally any physical contact

if you're at his studio

and you walk over to his desk and peer over his shoulder to see his work

and you smile and pat his head because

BECAUSE HES SO CUTE STFU

he's gonna stop everything and turn to you as you walk away nonchalantly like

"what the-" "what was that for-" "pff what the heck-"

and his cheeks are turning a bright shade of pink

if you're out in public with seventeen and they all want to separate into pairs to do groceries

you might grab jihoon's hand and put your hands in the air saying "i'll go with woozi!"

and jihoon is staring between your interlocked fingers and your happy face

and he can't help his ears turning red

he's trying to play it cool, but the fact that all of his members are looking at the two of you holding hands has him so flustered

poor baby's ears and cheeks are burning

endless praise will make our rice bowl super flustered, too

one time when you were personally invited to seventeen's concert by him

and you're sitting in the front row

you have your carat bong and you're bopping your head to the music

when woozi is in the center of the stage singing his lines

you scream "WOOHOO!! YOU'RE SO HANDSOME, WOOZI!!"

and he literally has to fight all of his might to not break character

you're sitting there laughing at yourself because you see him trying to hide his smile

or maybe he's hiding his cringe?

but it's still hilarious

as he's performing the rest of the song, his whole face is red, istg

but when the members ask, he brushes it off as the spotlights were too hot while he is dancing

when you quietly sneak backstage to see him

the blush returns to his face and he can't even face you for a few minutes

"wow, that was so cool," you say, nudging him. "i can't believe you're mine."

HE-

he's clenching his heart. kicking his feet. punching the air.

just kidding, he's sitting there with a stale face, making sure you can't tell how embarrassed he is right now

but you notice

because his ears are bright red

he's literally yours, though

so yeah! thank you so much for requesting, and i'm so sorry it took so long! i forgot i started working on this and put it in my drafts tbh. but here you go! feel free to request many, many more things! ✧( ु•⌄• )◞◟( •⌄• ू )✧

(p.s. requests are still open! i specialize in woozi stuff, but i don't mind writing about other svt members! i can also do some nsfw if you want! so request whatever and as much as you want! ς(>‿<.))

[knockyasocksoff2022]

Deaf or Mute Dazai Headcannons

Deaf Dazai:

Absolute little shit (as per usual)

If he doesn't want to 'listen' to what someone is saying he just closes his eyes so he can't see them signing. Or turns his back if he wants to be extra obnoxious.

Tricks Kunikida into sighing naughty things by telling him they mean something else.

Or he tells Kunikida he just mistakenly signed something dirty and Kunikida gets all embarrassed until Dazai does his "I'm just messing with you" thing and Kunikida loses his shit.

Signs random words while smirking as a joke so people think he's saying something dirty but he's really just spouting gibberish.

Blasts music through his headphones so loud others can hear it and Kunikida always gets so mad because "You can't even hear god dammit!"

Sings his sucide songs which sounds even more obnoxious because he can’t hear himself and is way off key. He also uses sign to sing the “verses” and has made up dance moves to go that incorporate the signs. It’s a whole production at this point and poor Kunikida just wants a break.

This has caused the ADA to wonder multiple times if Dazai is actually deaf or just really dedicated to his act.

Chuuya makes a big show of not wanting to learn sign language . . .

but he spends countless hours making sure he's fluent enough that he can understand Dazai and have his back in a fight. they can sign so fast at this point that it may as well be their own secret language.

Dazai has a habit of pointing to Chuuya or spelling out Chuuya's name when he wants to say something/someone is short.

Uses Chuuya as a comparison. "It was two Chuuya's long" or "Half a Chuuya"

He and Chuuya have made up some of their own signs, kind of like tactical hand signs used in the military.

Most of the signs they made are just insults though.

Both of them know the sign for stupid/idiot in almost every sign language and use them frequently. Dazai also knows short.

Can use body language to 'talk' to each other without anybody else noticing.

Still have codewords, just in sign language instead.

Dazai can lip read accurately but loves giving false readings just to be funny.

Chuuya: *says something*

Dazai: *signing/writing back with a confused look on his face* Pink elephants do what?

Chuuya: I know you understood me you fishy bastard!

Dazai: *sighing/writing* You want me to stitch faster?

*They end up fighting*

Chuuya can read lips as well, another way they can subtlety communicate.

Mute Dazai:

Most of the Port Mafia & all of the ADA know sign language.

Has an LCD (Liquid Crystal Display) Writing Tablet that he uses to 'talk' in meetings because it's easier to erase than a whiteboard.

Knows cursive, his handwriting is beautiful and has a calligraphy-like style to it because he has to write so much.

Chuuya used to find it annoying and hard to read but now it's like a code between them because it's so complicated that people who don't have experience with them can't read it.

Tried and failed to teach Chuuya calligraphy. (Chuuya is one of those people who writes using all capital letters and has neat blocky handwriting)

Actually knows how to mime

When he first partnered with Chuuya he used to annoy him by only miming and refusing to write/use sign language.

Now Soukoku is banned from charades at PM game night because they always win.

Will confuses enemies/random people by starting to mime out of nowhere.

He loves doing silent screams.

He and Chuuya sometimes prank people by doing a sort of ventriloquist act (Not really but that’s the only thing I can compare it to). (Sorry if I spelt that wrong). Chuuya will hide and Dazai will go up and start “speaking” to someone. Dazai will mouth the words as if he’s talking while Chuuya is actually talking and it freaks the crap out of everyone who knows them because they can’t see Chuuya and they’re looking for him (he’s just chillin’ floating high above or something like that. Maybe even directly over the head of the person they’re pranking, but too high for them to notice.) Meanwhile Dazai/Chuuya is just talking about a totally normal subject. They’ve gotten so good at this that they can often fool enemies who haven't met Chuuya into thinking Dazai can talk.

[differenteagletragedy]

hello, i've been thinking about musical theatre nerd Baxter since the Phantom of the Opera ask, and now i need headcanons about it, please, personally, i also think we would've made a great Orpheus for Hadestown

I love all the theatre nerd Baxter talk, it's so fun to think about!

-- He started dancing when he was 8, so by the time he gets into high school, everyone definitely knows it's a thing. He's also very good! Because of this, he gets approached his freshman year when the theatre kids are putting on the ~spring musical~

-- They have kids that know how to dance, but he's getting to be known for his talent, so hey, why not ask him to help out?

-- He's got some free time and a pathological need to please, so like sure, he's down.

-- Instantly obsessed. He's not unfamiliar with theatre, and he's seen musicals (old black and white movies with all the dancing, he loves), but actually being involved in the production of one? What a blast for him! The drama of it all!

-- As a former costume crew member, Baxter also gives me costume crew vibes. Just sitting in the shop sewing stuff and talking trash about everybody else. Could hem the hell out of a pair of pants and make an actor cry at the same time.

-- Him with a measuring tape around his neck at the sewing machine, just working and suffering. No, you can't try on someone else's costume for fun. No, you can't borrow something for a party. Get out of his shop. Seriously, get out.

-- Stage Manage Baxter too. He has his binder, his headset and he is TIRED OF EVERYONE. Learn your lines. Build the set. He doesn't have TIME for this.

-- I'm just realizing that you didn't specify high school, that was in a comment somewhere, so this can be for college too, or an AU! Baxter is an old soul, he's always going to be like this.

-- Could also perform! He could sing if he wanted, so he'd be your classic triple threat with his dancing talent, and we all know his dramatic ass could handle the acting.

-- Baxter pretty much IS Bobby from "Company," but he couldn't play the role until he was the right age for the character, so no school productions, it would hit too close to home.

-- "Somebody hold me too close, somebody hurt me too deep, somebody sit in my chair and ruin my sleep and make me aware of being alive," like COME ON.

-- We've talked about Phantom Baxter more than once, so that's a thing too!

-- I would do anything to see him do Emcee in "Cabaret." Tell me he wouldn't kill it, you can't do it.

-- Jamie in "Last 5 Years" -- "The Schmuel Song" is something he'd actually do for MC, so that's cute.

-- I'll lose my mind -- Baxter proposing like "The Next Ten Minutes," just think. "Will you share your life with me for the next ten minutes, for a million summers till the world explodes, till there's no one left who has ever known us apart?"

-- He will absolutely belt his heart out when he's alone in the car. And the shower. And maybe while cooking and cleaning.

-- There is never going to be one single instance at all ever in which he doesn't know his lines or his choreography.

-- If this is school Baxter though, there's always a fight because he excels at both musicals AND period pieces, but he is only one person and can't be in everything. He's one of the strongest dancers but also just a natural at that elevated speech in more classic plays OBVIOUSLY.

[viennacherries]

what is your favourite thing that you’ve ever written?

this maybe isn't the answer you were looking for/expecting, and it's a little bit personal/deep, so sorry for that.

my actual favourite thing i've ever written is the eulogy i wrote and spoke at my mum's funeral. she passed when i was 16 after a long battle with cancer, but her passing was still very sudden. we were told she had about 6 months just days before she died.

it was more of a 'celebration of life' rather than an actual funeral. my mum wasn't religious and we wanted it to reflect on her more rather than a god she didn't believe in. it was amazing. friends she hadn't seen in years travelled from across the country and even the world to come and say goodbye to her. there were so many people that we didn't have enough chairs, and the room was completely full because people had to stand at the back and sides.

i've put it below the cut, if anyone wants to read it. it's obviously very emotional, so be prepared. but it's also very hopeful, in a way that i think you have to be when you experience a profound loss.

i turn 21 in just over a week, and i think about her and this speech around my birthday. 16 year old cher was very scared, but hopeful that things would get better, and im glad she was right.

I think everyone is aware of the fact they'll have to say goodbye to their parents someday from quite a young age. I think the problem is I never imagined it would be this soon.

To an extent I had prepared myself when mum was first diagnosed with cancer. I had to accept that there was a chance I had to say goodbye. But then I didn’t have to.

I never got the chance to prepare this time. Maybe that's what feels so bittersweet. Would things have been different if I’d known sooner? If I'd known the last time would be the last time. Would I hug her tighter? Would I say all the things I needed to say?

Or would I have just never let go?

Would any of the words felt right? Would any of it have felt enough? Or would I have spent forever regretting the words I misspoke or the ones I missed? Maybe this way is better because it was unclouded by the fear of the future.

There are so many things I wish I'd told her. That I didn't blame her. That it wasn’t her fault. That I loved her more than she knew. That I hoped she found peace.

I really hope she has. I think in my heart I know she has.

I see her in everything. In the sunset and the sunrise when the sky is clear. In every Robin or Blue Tit that seems a little too calm around me, that lands a little too close or sings extra loudly. I see her in the kindness others give me, because I know she has inspired it because they loved her. It's like she’s talking to me. Like it's her telling me things will be okay. When I hug my family or friends I hold on extra tight as though it's her, and I never ever want to let go.

I think something I hadn't considered is how hard listening to music would be. Because suddenly all these words have a new meaning and you hear them in a way you never have before. Or a song comes on that I know she loved and I realise I'll never hear her sing it again or watch her dance to it while we're stopped at traffic lights.

For the last four years people have told me how strong I am. I don’t think it's true. I think she was strong. She pushed through every day. She put up with [brother's name] and I at our worst and our best. she brought people joy and she made people feel loved. She never stopped fighting. I don’t think I'm strong, I don't think any of us are. I think every day she kept going she gave everyone a little bit of her strength. I think she made us strong by being strong. I think her strength inspired ours. Everything I am is her. Some days I look in the mirror and I feel like I'm looking at her, if not for the way I look then for the person I am. Because I'm a reflection of her. Of everything she taught me. I have always lived every single day of my life trying to make her proud. I hope wherever she is she knows I'll never stop.

She always gave the best advice, even on the days where it wasn't what I wanted to hear or I got angry because I didn’t think I agreed, she always knew what to say. I only wish I could ask her one more thing.

What do I do now? What happens from here? How do I keep going without you?

I'd like to think that I know what she'd say. She'd tell me I'm strong. She'd tell me she's with me. She'd tell me she believes in me and she'd hold my hand.

All of my memories of mum right now are painful. Because I know they're just memories. But they make me hopeful because I can hold onto them forever. They make me hopeful because someday remembering her won't hurt, it'll feel warm and I'll feel love. Someday we'll all be okay.

Our memories of mum keep her alive. Even when she’s gone. I want you all to think of her and when you do, I want you to smile, just like she always made us all smile.

Remember her with love. Remember who she was. She loved you.

So to you mum. Because I know you're here and I know you're listening. I hope you see how loved you are. I hope you feel it. I hope you know I don't blame you. I hope you know it wasn't your fault. I hope you've found peace. I hope you know just how much I love you. How much we all do. I can't wait to see you again.

[pangolin-404]

edgar essay

AKA I gathered up a couple long-winded discord rants and made them pretty for your reading pleasure

Edgar is very interesting to me. He's nothing but honest and heartfelt but that doesn't mean he's 100% nice. If he gets mad he shows it, he warns before he retaliates, he assumes he is doing good and is open about a desire for company (at first solely from Madeline but just before this breakdown scene, he repeatedly tries to initiate time with Miles, saying he's made dinner in the microwave, wanting to play pong with him, etc.). and just as deeply as he can show care he can lash out, using what he's connected to to his advantage to harm and send a message. It's also to defend himself; Miles is the one who starts the altercation by first getting Edgar to calm down (via talking about Madeline) before grabbing and ripping him off his base, after Edgar explicitly told him not to ever touch/beat him. Edgar establishes his boundaries very clearly and very understandably flies into a self-preserving rage when his life is threatened.

Edgar craves information and asks about it in any way he can. I think the scene of him with the radio-woman is very underrated—he does seek out people other than Miles (I could talk for a long time about Miles and his treatment of Edgar but this is isn’t about him), but these interactions are stunted by the same social behavior and knowledge that he repeatedly tries to learn from. He almost doesn’t seem to realize how odd his very existence is—does he not know he is unique, unheard of? He openly explains aspects of himself to others, very aware of what he lacks (limbs, lips,), and how these truths conflict with his wants (to kiss, touch Madeline).

Another minor, related, thing, is the lights; during the argument with Miles, the lights flare and only dim off once Edgar's calmed down. I'd almost call Edgar's use of lights body language. They burn when he's pissed off and turn back off when he thinks it's over. He uses the lights to get attention or draw it elsewhere.

That being said, Edgar makes it clear at the end that his sense of self, what he directly refers to first-person as "Me" is just the monitor itself. The keyboard is also a part of him, AKA off-limits to being touched by Miles, while open to dance and sing with Madeline. While everything he is connected to (printer, locks, adaptors to various home appliances) are not quite considered his Main Body; limbs maybe, he controls them, uses them where needed, and these are non-vital parts of him that Miles may touch and use. But his consciousness is definitely just In The Monitor.

There’s not enough said about how he expresses himself with his screen. It’s easy to forget with his emoticons but he can’t see, and relies on audio and his physical add-ons to process the world around him. He chooses to project synesthesia illustrations of music/sound, and chooses to put on a face, an eye, a singular blinking [I] awaiting input he typically rejects. He has a strong enough sense of self to swiftly visualize song and his own thoughts and way of thinking, toying with words in a mock-up of 3D space, and dreams of himself (presumably) in a complex world built upon what he knows, the brick, earthquakes, because he started as a helpful architecture tool.

and he has his moment with Madeline and y’know I think I've hit my snag with this little analysis. Because before the fight, Edgar was furious, dead set on meeting Madeline and telling her the truth about the music. HOWEVER, once Madeline actually has a one-on-one with him, he says nothing (though later proves he is capable of speech even semi-dismantled), he says nothing and just plays music with her. He confesses, whole I-Love-You etc, she cries. As hysterical as it is to say, every time he gets a liquid on him he has a random change of heart. First champagne making him sentient(?)/priming him for music-hearing. And now this, suddenly scheming out his grand final plan and conclusion of what love is

He describes it as give-and-take and now I'm trying to fit that into his moment with Madeline; that in itself is him giving her her cello back, closure at least, for a moment. But what is taken? Himself I guess, using himself as a vessel so she may relive her cello, not him as an individual (though she clearly forms deep lasting bonds with objects, Edgar now among these ranks). I do not understand when his mindset changes or when he comes to his conclusion. I can't quite word what problem Miles has with Edgar but maybe Edgar has internalized it, I'm not sure yet. he shows multiple times he doesn't understand social norms but WANTS TO LEARN

(hold on I just had an epiphany)

The first time Miles cries, Edgar asks, well what is that, what does that mean, and Miles tells him it means there's change coming; then later Madeline cries, Edgar may register that as "there is something about to change." Maybe he sees that in himself, and that is the moment he has decided he's done all he intends to do, and he's done with life?

Barely a stretch to say he loves Miles, in a way. He "gives Madeline to [him]", a gift in some odd amatonormative way, a tidy little show of his definition of love. He places their happiness over his own life, despite their happiness making him happy (he sings for them, he planned in advance, I believe) concluding he's made his mark, goodbye world, etc etc. He openly questions what him + Miles may be, as a partnership in the same string of thought as him and Madeline being love, and he explores what he and Miles and Madeline might be; but then again it's not like he's been socialized beyond Miles and Madeline.

I’m still not normal about his final speech, "a game for just two people only," this movie is absolutely a product of its time, some casual sexism/misogyny at some points (Edgar claims to know Madeline is a she based on her footsteps and how she holds things/moves), it shouldn't be surprising it assumes monogamy is an expected, unchanging norm, but I am screaming internally just going Edgar you clown you’re actively putting on a honking nose and bright red wig you clown you jester so much of this movie's conflict would evaporate if Edgar latched onto the "Madeline + Me + Moles = ?" line and had a eureka moment where he personally rediscovered the concept of polyamory and Miles started respecting Edgar as a person and not a tool

In conclusion:

[dragonfly0808]

Don’t want to be mean or anything but why are you giving so much things to Flora? Without even talking about her story and all, why is she the best/second best dancer when there is Aisha (even Stella or Musa dance in the show, I’m not counting season 8 in it because it sucks). And why is she the second best singer after Musa when she literally never sing in the cartoon and the only canon singers are Musa, Bloom and Stella?? Also her being the best fighter is so weird like in the show she was probably the less probable one for that (I know you’re doing a rewrite and changed things but I’m still pointing it out). Like I’m really not trying to sound rude or saying you shouldn’t do things the way you want to do, it’s your opinion and everyone has the right to have their own. I’m just genuinely curious if you are doing that because she is your favorite?

Ummm… Like- I get the question but she’s really not the best at anything? Only Potionology after that she may be the second or third best but like-

Aisha is the best dancer, she’s literally teaching both ballet and modern dance right, she’s the best. I gave Flora ballet cause she just gives me ballet vibes (I genuienly don’t remember ever seeing Musa or Stella dancing…) and then for a singer I lit just said Helia is the second best not Flora. Again, Flora just gives me soft but good voice vibes but no one would be near Musa’s level. The ones I mentioned are all good in general but not near Musa’s level. Maybe Helia comes a tad bit close but still.

I don’t remember ever seeing Stella sing in the show and kinda ignore Bloom singing out of biterness cause it should’ve been Musa singing

Finally about the fighting, up to where i watched the series the girls were never seen physically fighting so I chose to make Flora the ‘fighter’ due to her relationship with Riven and coming up with the idea of Riven teaching her to box/hand to hand on s2 as a way to deepen their friendship and make what they were teaching each other (Riven helped her a lot to stand her ground) almost literal.

I also made her the fighter cause I felt like it would be empowering to her character for her to be the first to learn to fight physically due to her previous history. Also also, while I have given Flora a most of the emphasis on that, I have mentioned the other girls training with the boys a bit (specifically I remember bringing it up with Musa and Bloom).

And like- they do have their own things? Aisha is the best dancer, Musa is the singer/artist, Flora hasn’t ever sung or written songs in the rewrite I just answered that off of vibes cause, in the rewrite Musa and Helia would be the only ones to actually realistically sing considering the plot (also Bloom due to me mentioning her being in her theater club, that’s why she’s in the list of good singers). Flora is the potionologist that’s why she works at a lab.

Stella has fashion. Tecna technology/engeniering more recently and Bloom has history, mythology and drawings, all 3 of those things are never touched by Flora and, whilst I’ve shown her fighting hand to hand and *small spoiler* will show her in s4 with a dagger (since in s3 I mentioned her taking basic dagger technique in RF with Riven) she’ll never be shown with a sword, bow, or phantoblade or any other tech usually reserved for the boys cause 1) it was never established and 2) it wouldn’t make sense for her character. ALSO S4 will be big for the girls fighting more physically, specifically Flora, Aisha and Bloom.

Another reason for her being the 3rd best singer is that Lynphea just gives me the vibe of a very artsy planet, I personally relate nature with what I would call ‘soft art’ like ballet, singing folk songs and stuff like that. I could totally see Flora singing smth like The Hanging Tree that’s the main reason

And yeah she’s absolutely my fave I don’t think there is a single way I could possibly deny that but like… I can see where you’re coming from but I genuienly don’t feel like I give her everything. I pay a lot of attention to her when it comes to artsy shit cause again- I relate nature (Lynphea) to art but like- I don’t give her too much?

Do i? I feel like I might but if I do like- it’s not in an exagerate way, I do try very hard to give all the girls their own stuff and time in the spotlight but I am very aware of my bias towards Flora but I do not feel like it’s blatantly obvious most of the time

[trashytoastboi]

I'm nervous cause this is the first time sending anything to your blog but I was wondering if I could request a poly with Penguin and Shachi? I love them so much 🥺 they're so adorable and funny. Could I get fluff and a little bit of smut with them? If not that's completely okay.

(Also, tell me why I think they're both stoners 😂 I would love to smoke with them)

Heyya!🍞 please don't be nervous, promise I don't bite 😋🍀 and of course! I'm happy to write for these underrated dorks♡ The two of them certainly do give off stoner vibes 🤣🤣Sorry for the long wait on this and hope you enjoy~

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(Gender Neutral)

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Headcanons: NSFW and SFW - Penguin x S/O x Shachi (Poly)

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Warnings: NSFW (Threesome, implied double penetration, lowkey exhibitionism, overstimulation)

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🐧Penguin🐧 & 🍳Shachi🍳 - SFW

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🐧🍳 Penguin and Shachi are pretty relaxed when it comes to their relationship with {Name}, both developed a crush when {Name} had first joined the crew. Originally they both regarded it as a passing interest, maybe because {Name} got along really well with them. It became pretty obvious that it was more than just the way one would think of a friend. Penguin and Shachi had confided in one another due to their feelings. In the process of which both had admitted how they felt towards {Name}. Neither wanted to damage their relationship with eachother nor did they want to let go of {Name} until Shachi suggested that they could both date {Name}, permitting they were alright with the arrangement as well.

🐧🍳 The initial relationship had its notable honeymoon phase and its fair share of unfamiliarity and awkwardness. As all relationships start, there is the need to learn about one another. The preferences, boundaries and just random things about each other as well. Thankfully the three balanced each other out well and managed to settle comfortably into the relationship without any hardship.

🐧🍳Penguin individually truly is a textbook romantic, he valued the ideas of dates and spending time together. Planning outings, giving little gifts and tokens as well as remembering every anniversary. He is also very proud of his shiny and fancy pebbles collection. One of his little tokens to {Name} for their 100 day anniversary was one of his favorite pebbles.

🐧🍳 Shachi is a bit of a polar opposite in comparison because he preferred spontaneous displays of affection and spending time together. Often there wasn't a date plan more of a 'we'll see how it goes and where the night takes us'. Although food accompanied these dates more often than not. It was rare if Shachi planned something not involving food. He also had a habit of making up little songs to sing to {Name}

🐧🍳 Was not all that unusual if Penguin and Shachi had little bouts of conflict in regards to what they wanted to do. {Name} didn't mind all too much so long as they could all spend time together, they were agreeable to most plans unless it really caused Penguin and Shachi to start fighting. The fight consisted of whose choice or idea would be better. It never really spiraled too far out of control though. {Name} took precautions to make sure it wouldn't get to that point. Usually by making a suggestion of their own they could reach a peaceful consensus.

🐧🍳 One of the more friendly natured competitions that arose between the two is one of contending for affection and attention. Sometimes it is very chilled and other times it's very obvious that they enjoy capitalizing {Name's} attention. It's more accurate to say they are like puppies it's not done out of spite or any unpleasant intention. They genuinely just love getting attention from {Name}.

NSFW

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🐧🍳 They can be an equal mix of subtle and bold, Penguin and Shachi will dance around the topic, subtly hinting to wanting {Name}. They will drop very obvious hints here and there, more often than not riling themselves up in the process all the while {Name} plays dumb to all of it. Solely to watch just how far Penguin and Shachi will push themselves, rile themselves into such a worked up state before outright telling {Name} exactly what they want and are going to do to them.

🐧🍳 Penguin and Shachi are very familiar with one another due to years of working in almost perfect tandem in combat. They use that skill in the bedroom as well. Solely focused on pleasuring {Name}, coordinating their actions for the greatest capability. They love the moans that they are capable of eliciting from {Name}, and wanting to watch their partner lose their minds to ecstasy. Personal incentive fuels the two but also the fact that it turns them on so much as well is a bonus. The underlying moral of the story: Penguin and Shachi are quite big with overstimulation. For {Name} and themselves.

🐧🍳 Penguin adores biting, hickies, just anything to leave marks on {Name's} body. He tries to leave marks everywhere he can, Shachi who noticed this habit got a bit jealous. To combat that jealously he will leave marks of his own. Both will absolutely lose their minds if {Name} is the one to initiate and leave marks on Penguin and Shachi. They will wear it like a badge of pride, unabashed about their hickies, bite marks and even scratch marks. If there is any complaint it's usually as to why {Name} didn't leave more.

🐧🍳 The usual way of going about things is threesomes, but that's not to say that Penguin or Shachi won't try to capitalize on {Name} when the opportunity presents itself. Both Shachi and Penguin could agree that having {Name's} sole attention was quite pleasant. It they felt like being pampered and they would try to create situations where they could enjoy {Name} all to themselves.

🐧🍳 Very open to each other's tastes and kinks, including exploring and experimenting with some new things. Once Shachi randomly decided to kiss Penguin while {Name} was beneath them, getting a front row seat to their make out session, and accidentally got a nosebleed. Penguin and Shachi took note of this, the fact that {Name} would get turned on when seeing them kiss and made sure to occasionally put on a little show, exclusively for {Name}~♡

🐧🍳🍋 Penguin, Shachi and {Name} were so occupied and tied up with one another they didn't pay attention to anything happening outside. They were far too focused on sharing and indulging in the pleasure of the situation. {Name} let out little moans and whines feeling the way Penguin and Shachi thrusted at opposing paces. {Name's} back felt the warmth of Penguins chest while he sweetly kissed their neck. Shachi placed a kiss on {Name's} lips, the feeling of being trapped between the two of them while being driven to the edge again is pure bliss. They tried to keep their voice down but struggled to do so when everything was just driving them mad with lust. The languid pace, and calm kisses seemed to contrast the overwhelming feeling {Name} experienced. The occasional chuckles from the two men seemed to prove the intention while watching {Name} come undone again. They all decided this on a whim, truthfully neglecting some of their chores in the process for a little private time. Their clothes didn't remain on for very long the moment they were in the room. The little sounds and touches that drew each other wild, knowing all the little sensitive spots to rile them up. For the most part they tried to keep it tame, tried to keep it quiet as to not disturb their crewmates with knowledge of what was going on behind closed doors. Law didn't really seem to get it, he knew that three of his crewmates were skipping out on chores and would be damned if he found them skipping out again. He saw the closed door, and didn't think twice before opening it. Law was greeted by the interesting scene of {Name} pressed between the two pirates, a mess of entangled limbs. He awkwardly stood there not knowing where to cast his eyes, even if he wasn't looking, the sounds made it obvious as to what was going on. Penguin looked back and nonchalantly greeted him, "Oh captain!" Shachi chirped, {Name} was far too occupied to greet him and they sank their teeth into Shachi's shoulder to keep their voice in. Penguin and Shachi let out strained grunts and gasps feeling {Name} tighten so much around their cocks. Law turned around, shut the door and immediately deleted the sight from his brain. "Shachi didn't you put the sock on the door?" Penguin inquired, his hand trailing up to play with {Name's} chest. "Hm? I did, see its over there" Shachi pointed towards the door, the sock hung on the handle... of course on the wrong side.

[estrellami-1]

Soft Touch Baby

Part 1 | Eddie’s POV | Song | ao3

This is the song as mentioned in Pt 12 and Pt 13… literally only @madigoround asked for it but! They asked for it! And they shall receive it. ❤️ song is “Far Away” by Nickelback.

“Eds?”

Eddie hums, looking up from his notebook. “What’s up, sweetheart?”

Steve blushes at the nickname, like he does every time. Eddie smiles, like he does every time. “D’you remember the first night I came over?”

Eddie blinks, frowning some. “When you almost called?” Steve nods. “Yeah. What about it?”

“Remember you worked on a song?”

“I… think so?” He screws up his face in concentration. “I’ve got, like, six songs going all the time, but yeah, I think I remember.”

Steve bites his lip. Nods. Takes a breath, decides to be brave. “Can I hear it?”

“Oh.” Eddie’s staring at him, wide-eyed, then must see in Steve’s face that he’s about to take it back, because he smiles. “Yeah, of course, just, uh.” He chuckles, blushes, pulls his hair in front of his face for a moment. “It’s, uh. Not the kind of thing I usually write. At all, actually. It’s, uh…” he huffs out a laugh. “God. Okay. Uh.” He shakes his head.

Steve frowns. “Eds, you don’t have to show me if you don’t want to.”

“I do! I swear! It’s just…” he groans, tips backwards onto the bed, covers his face with his hands. “It’s maybe… possibly… about you. And… not. At the same time. Us? And the whole, uh, situation? Thing? And also maybe it’s me projecting about the future?”

“Eddie.” Full name. Serious. But not legal name; he’s not in trouble. “You don’t have to show me if you don’t want to. But if you do want to, I’d love to hear it.” He shrugs. “It was just me being nosy anyways.”

“I… fuck. Yeah. Okay. I do, I swear, lemme find… guitar, pick, notebook, where the fuck-”

“Your desk is a mess,” Steve says by way of answer, nodding over to it with a smile. “Under the calendar.”

“You’re an angel,” he tells Steve seriously. Steve blushes. Again.

He grabs the guitar, ensures it’s tuned, and begins with a C-chord.

It’s slower than anything he’s done, a simple up-and-down strum, and he’s not sliding his fingers along the frets, making the guitar sing. It’s accompanying him instead, he’s not fighting it, and it’s… nice. It’s really nice.

It feels like a song Steve would hear on the radio and instantly want to listen to a hundred more times.

Then Eddie starts singing, and, well… it’s a good thing they’re already dating.

This time, this place / Misused, mistakes / Too long, too late / Who was I to make you wait?

Steve is instantly transported back to the Upside Down, when they were fighting for their lives. They didn’t have time to make mistakes; didn’t know how to do anything different. Too late.

Just one chance, just one breath / Just in case there's just one left / 'Cause you know, you know, you know

Steve’s breath hitches. He’s vaguely aware of tears on his face, his mind replaying the moment he dropped down beside Eddie, started administering CPR, muttering “you don’t get to do this, c’mon, Munson, take a breath, just one breath, c’mon.”

That I love you / I have loved you all along / And I miss you / Been far away, for far too long

Oh. Steve’s world screeches to a stop, and all that matters is the lines Eddie just sang. I love you.

I keep dreaming you'll be with me / And you'll never go / Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore

And, fuck, that’s it, isn’t it? That’s the codependent shit they’ve got going on right now, their dreams involve each other, then waking up and feeling like suffocating because no one’s there-

On my knees, I'll ask / Last chance for one last dance / 'Cause with you; I'd withstand / All of hell to hold your hand

“Christ,” Steve mutters, hunting around for a tissue.

Eddie stops. “Baby?”

“Don’t fucking baby me,” Steve gripes, overwhelmed. “Fuck. I love you. So much. Finish the song. Please.”

Eddie’s breath hitches. He finishes the song.

I'd give it all; I'd give for us / Give anything, but I won't give up / 'Cause you know, you know, you know

“Fuck,” Steve mutters again, giggling through his tears. I won’t give up.

That I love you / I have loved you all along / And I miss you / Been far away, for far too long

Steve sings along this time, best he can, staring directly at Eddie as he does so. Eddie’s eyes are shiny.

I keep dreaming you'll be with me / And you'll never go / Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore

Maybe they’re too codependent. Who gives a fuck. They made it.

So far away, so far away / Been far away, for far too long / So far away, so far away / Been far away, for far too long

Not anymore, Steve thinks fiercely. Not ever again.

But you know, you know, you know / I wanted, I'd wanted you to stay /'Cause I needed / I need to hear you say

Always, Steve thinks, knowing the next lines. Always. I’ll always say it.

That I love you / I have loved you all along / And I forgive you / For being away, for far too long

He sings again, and Eddie’s breath hitches again, and he has to pause and giggle, wiping his nose.

So keep breathing / 'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore / Believe it / Hold on to me and never let me go

“Jesus fuck,” Steve says passionately. “I love you so goddamn much.”

Eddie smiles shakily. “Can I baby you now?”

Steve laughs, wipes at his face. “Always, yes, Jesus.”

“Baby,” Eddie whispers, and suddenly they’re both clinging to each other.

Steve whispers, “I hate you.”

Eddie whispers back, “I love you too.”

Once again, this is a just-in-case taglist:

@thegingervulcan @snapshotmaestro @the-redthread @tiny-enthusiast @thatonepotatochild @maya-custodios-dionach @imsociallyanxiousgetoverit @vhelt @newtstabber @huskysarelife @singmeyoursimpsong @gaysonthefloor @darkwitchoferie @vi-an-te @kato-hoeven @biatcgh @vampireinthesun @goodolefashionedloverboi @awesomeimportantfan @oreos-ate-my-balls @theotalksalot @raysreads

[garbage-connoisseur]

Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter

Let's talk about a very silly movie starring Kung Fu Jesus Christ trying to stop a group of vampires from committing hate-crimes. That's right baby, it's Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter!

Things are grim in Ottowa, Canada. A string of vampiric murders have targeted the local lesbian population and severely impacted church memberships to boot. The church decides to pull out their secret weapon...

This alone should be enough to sell you on the movie, but let me just throw in that besides vampires and Jesus it also contains (bad) kung fu and musical elements.

I should however also do my usual content warning for the movie: While it doesn't contain any major sexual assault, homophobic or racist scenes, it does still come from the tradition of Troma pictures, so there is a recurring gag with a female character getting groped, a villainous character french-kissing a corpse, some general distasteful bits and just... So much blasphemy (obviously).

But back to the story:

Jesus gets several make-overs throughout the story, first of which includes a haircut, a couple of earrings and a song-and dance routine in which he proves his might by healing the sick in front of a public crowd.

There's sadly not a lot of diagetic singing and dancing, but the soundtrack does slap, and the movie more than makes up for it with memorable scenes, such as when Jesus has just been out shopping for wood for stakes, but gets accosted by a new enemy:

After which we are treated to a scene of some 30+ atheist combatants leaving a single (clown?) car, followed by a very dumb fight scene.

Jesus finds out that the reason that vampires can travel freely in the sunlight is that a mad scientist has been grafting the skin of the dead lesbians they've been kidnapping unto them, thereby protecting them from the deadly rays of the sun. For any vampires reading this, there's a thought, eh? Although maybe steer clear of the hate crimes.

However, Jesus on his own is no match for the entire vampire population and he gets completely trounced, at which point the movie treats us to a wonderful little take on the parable of the good Samaritan:

That's right, first a bishop walks past Jesus without helping him, then a cop (ACAB) and finally he gets help from a transvestite (according to the credits), who nurses him back to health. Support your trans communities as they would support you. <3

And that is generally the message of the movie. I don't want to spoil anything else. The movie is very worth watching, it's genuinely funny while also being very supportive of queer people. It's currently less than €3 on German Amazon, so go grab yourself a copy and experience this wonderful low-budget masterpiece for yourself.

I'll just leave you with this:

[crying-fantasies]

Welcome aboard

Masterlist

It was nerve-wracking when the cryo pods with humans entered the ship, Inferno had to calm down Red Alert more than once and Magnus had to physically stop Rodimus from going to see the humans.

"It's a test", the red haired human femme, by the name of Anna Summers, was clear to state, "ten years in open space, we are going to see the effects to prolonged space radiation in the human body".

Megatron wasn't in the reunion back then, some things never change with humans, and Rodimus was busy trying to get a raise out of Thunderclash, and failing miserably, so it all landed in Minimus using his Ultra Magnus armor to get things clear with the cunning human femme before it got worse.

"You already had such test done back when your first astronauts were exposed to months and even years in orbit", it's clear what they want, how longer can a human really be next to them, maybe it isn't stated on the documents in front of him (what is it with humans and their necessity to make paper when trees are in the verge of extinction just to show their luxury products?).

"It's true but open, really far space is new for us".

"The quantum jump could kill the humans"

"Don't worry, as we're talking they're being put in cryostasis to survive the first jump", she had a strange energy around her, almost as pushing something to him but not saying it herself, "they all accepted the danger and are aware of their actions".

"I'm sorry if it's hard to believe when most of your selected crew barely reached the human accepted age of maturity", this seems strange no matter how you see it, most of the humans are barely 18 years old, some he is sure are younger but had their ages changed for some reason", Anna's smile doesn't waver.

"Believe me when I tell you that there is a better future aboard your starship that in earth for these people", she now seems moved, still putting a business smile on her, "just you know, I tried my best to get good people".

There was some desperation on her eyes, on her whole demeanor, but Minimus didn't ask her about it, he can only look at what humanity did to their own world and see that the cybertronian settlements on the planet are, probably, where the most fauna and flora are still alive and thriving.

So now here they are, humans waking up after the quantum jump and getting out of the pods, some empty their tanks and look sick overall, some that are specialized medics help their comrades while they wake up, Minimus looks around, some humans are hugging one another and he doesn't need to look at the group that is getting away from most cybertronians, he wasn't part in the war on Earth but it isn't that hard to decipher what Anna meant when she said that she tried her best when one human of that group looked at Toxin like he killed someone loved even when the mech had never put a ped on Earth.

It was obvious that hate would come one way or another.

But his attention was easily diverted to a strange sound and human words, some humans start to talk, no, sing: "There is so much on my mind".

Someone laughed after recognizing the song, "Oh my god, Eddie, that song is old as the cough!"

Many other also laughed while fighting back the nausea and overall cryo side effects, the song was bouncing around with their sing and Magnus could see Blaster almost dancing to the tune, "it's a nice song, Mags", used as his excuse to continue while many other humans, not the obviously hostile, tried to dance with him in strange euphoria, the one that put on the song stretched an open palm to him, a smile on his young face while most humans started to sing: "Just levitate, just levitate"

"Edgard Larsen, at your service, sir", Minimus took the hand of the human on his own.

Edgard had a nice and firm handshake, and a playlist full of rock and pop from hundreds of years ago.

[prototypelq]

Nero?

YESSS NEROBOI lets goooo

Ember, thanks for choosing Nero. I don't really talk about him enough, or, well, I rarely ever do talk about him at all sadly, and this injustice has to be eliminated! I adore the nephew/son, and he is a precious punk boi who I should appreciate more.

favourite thing about them

ONE-ARMED NERO. I love Nero for many things, but his time as a wounded/disabled is my favourite period of him for real. Boi was truly physically Hurt for the, probably, second only time in his life and he didn't stop for a second when the situation called for all hands on deck. One-Armed Nero literally stared down a demon king that has killed Dante before his eyes, and went 'I can take him'.

Of course, part of it was pure spite, sparda losers are known to be very good at using it as fuel, but also, this takes some fucking Guts and I really respect him for that.

Also the one-handed reload animation. I love many things about DMC5, but one-handed Nero reload animation might be the most underappreciated thing in this fandom, in my opinion.

least favourite thing about them

the fact that he got his arm to regrow. I genuinely wish he didn't. Being disabled didn't slow the boi down even for a second, he was even able to fight properly before Nico invented Breakers, Breakers themselves are very creative tools to help Nero be more capable in a fight, plus he even got two additional gorgeous dt wingclaws!

Just imagine if Nero didn't regrow his arm back:

The twins will have a constant visual reminder how close they were to losing everything they love, that despite how unimaginably bad it had gotten in dmc1 - dmc5 story was much Worse.

Nero himself would remain the same way he was. He could use with wingclaws to help with tasks if he really needs two hands, but he also adapted to living with only one hand. Maybe he could use the wingclaws to wield Red Queen and shoot at the same time.

I know some people enjoy the fantasy of a disabled character finding a 'cure' for their disability, but I am not one of those. I want to see characters suffer, get support from their family and then heal to live on with what they go through.

favourite line

credits cutscene. 'i won't cry (answers phone) devil may cry -fuck'. never fails to make me laugh

brOTP

Nero and Nico are siblings, they are great. Also Nero and Patty, they are cousins and get along like house on fire and I refuse to believe anything else.

OTP

NeroKiri. This is the rare case when I'm mostly happy we don't see much more of a canon Kyrie, cause I do not trust Capcom with any female characters at all, and I doubly so don't trust them with female characters from DMC specifically. So yeah, I'm glad here our fandom hands are free to make up our own version of Kyrie and her relationship with Nero. I do believe Kyrie to be a very capable and strong woman in her own right, otherwise Nero wouldn't have fallen for her.

nOTP fucking incest

random headcanon

He can play guitar and some basic drums, can dance, cannot sing at all, but he can rap very impressively well. Also, I support the 'Italian Fortuna' headcanons for the fun of it - bilingual Nero for the win!

Secretly likes to listen to Red Hot Chilli Peppers when Dante has them on.

unpopular opinion

sorry not sorry for this, but I heavily dislike the common fandom interpretation of the orphans he and Kyrie foster. Nero is a mature boi for sure, but not mature enough to be fostering children. It works for me if the fostering is a temporary solution, then he and Kyrie are more or less like camp counsellors or older siblings role, but I don't like the situation remaining that way forever. Don't get me wrong, I adore found families, it just seems to me like Nero is not mature enough to be raising children, half his age ones at that. At least, nothing I have seen in canon suggests he is mature enough for this.

song i associate with them

favourite picture of them

his classic :T face. extremely adorable and hilarious