Not to be a total asshole here but if I get one more "I need more! give me more!" comment on my Platonic Sugar Baby Buddie AU, it's going away. It has literally been two weeks since my last update, during which time I've been working on another fanfic, finishing up my second part-time job, working a full-time job, and being an adult with a full life.
I have never experienced this amount of whining in my entire time in this fandom and I can only presume that it's new people to the fandom who have an appalling lack of etiquette.
It's literally people just saying "give me more! I want more! hurry up!" And while none of you are at all entitled to my personal business, it sure doesn't help the depressive episode I'm in that y'all are doing this.
I love sharing my fics with you guys, and I love the enthusiasm and joy that you have for my writing. But the sudden influx of demands for sequels, for specific scenes in fics, unprompted fic, smut, and chapter suggestions, and now just outright demanding like a toddler for an update is disheartening, annoying, and the opposite of encouraging.
Please stop. Please. Please stop.
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tease tuesday 🎄
it's early brain is mush and i have nothing to say, so pls enjoy a lil tease from deck the family fic <3
“If I can’t say it, you can’t, either.” He runs his fingers through Buck’s, tickling behind his ears as he lifts Buck’s face up to meet his gaze. Buck’s got stars in his eyes, bright and pretty and all Eddie’s to cherish. “Gimme a kiss.”
Buck grins, crooked and lazy. “Just one?”
“Mm.” Eddie ducks down and kisses Buck’s puckered mouth. “Maybe two or three.”
Buck shoves his shoulders further into Eddie’s chest and lifts up, catching Eddie’s bottom lip between both of his in a slick, quick kiss. “Or four?”
Eddie hums, smiles, and moves his arms up to wrap around Buck’s neck. “As many as you’ll give me,” he says, leaning down to meet Buck’s lips again.
tagged by @disasterbuckdiaz, @devirnis, @nmcggg, @jamespearce9-1-1, @daffi-990, @wikiangela, and @thewolvesof1998 MWAH
tagging @jeeyuns, @eddiebabygirldiaz, @spagheddiediaz, @callmenewbie, @shitouttabuck, @wildlife4life, @giddyupbuck, @hippolotamus, and @monsterrae1 if you wanna ✨
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Eddie saying "just be silent" to Shannon because he doesn't want anything she says then to be the last words he hears from her. Doesn't want pained and desperate 'sorry's' to be his last memory of her voice. Not wanting to hear any promises that she won't be able to keep, permanently this time. Because he could forgive her for leaving them, but he can't forgive her for leaving them like this.
And then we have Eddie calling out for Buck, asking, begging for a response. Saying "talk to me! talk to me!" in desperation because he doesn't want silence to be the last thing he hears from Buck. Doesn't want the hollow ringing of the quiet taking space in his mind and heart where it's always filled with Buck's voice, of Buck going "Eddie!" as if Eddie hung the sun for him. Of Buck talking a mile a minute, always managing to make him smile with fondness, with love.
Eddie's heart being broken by Shannon's barrage of words before losing her and his soul being torn by Buck's utter silence when they lost him.
3 minutes and 17 seconds of Buck's silence in this world. Of not hearing Buck's voice, of not feeling his pulse beneath Eddie's fingers. 3 minutes and 17 seconds of too much silence.
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“Concerned for my safety.” The wizard echoes, fingers tightening around the spyglass they’ve been using in place of a wand for the past year. “Where was your concern for my safety when you sent me off to fight a war singlehanded and alone?” Their tone is soft. Conversational. Merle Ambrose does not flinch.
“Please, tell me what happened, do not spare a single detail.”
And they don’t.
They weave the felling of the shadow palace as it ought to be weaved, in darkness and blood and discarded web. In unmade worlds and the snapping of tree roots. In opponents twice their size, half their skill, in winning through bared teeth and broken skin.
They do, in fact, spare Ambrose a single detail.
They do not tell him about their request to Raven.
They do not tell him how it felt to watch the shapeless winds of the void between worlds tear Morganthe apart.
She had been his apprentice, once upon a time.
The wizard can offer him that one, singular kindness.
If nothing else.
“This news of Old Cob is troubling, but we shall just have to wait and see what tomorrow brings. New adventures for us all, yes?”
“Am I free to go?” They do not hide the chill or bitterness in the words. “It’s over.”
Merle Ambrose does not flinch.
“Yes, yes you may go, please get some rest. You have earned it.”
~*~
The wizard does not get some rest.
“Professor Drake?”
It’s off hours.
Cyrus Drake is in the Myth tower, where they had once dueled him, years ago now—before they were sent to the heat and tragedy that was Dragonspyre.
“I was not informed of your return.” It’s formal, it always is, but the wizard manages a half smile. “I am pleased to see you have made it back predominantly unharmed.”
“Are you free?”
“I am.”
“Can I show you something?” Cyrus’ lip curls in a way that the wizard recognizes, and they correct themself before he can patronize them. “May I show you something?”
Words are important in Myth magic. To nobody more than Cyrus Drake, who seemed too often to wonder if things would be different, had he only found the right words.
“Are you meant to be resting?”
“I am always meant to be resting or fighting. This is as close to rest as I’m going to get for a while.” They respond, allowing the hollow tone to take over their voice. Allowing the empty spaces where they had freshly leeched magic show. “Once we’re there, we can sit, I’ll drink tea, pretend I’m doing well.”
The wizard takes Cyrus to their castle. The myth castle. The castle sitting atop a cyclops that might be alive and might not be. The one crawling with automatons and unicorns and every wayward sprite they’ve ever picked up. Where the small green dragon they’d tamed in Avalon sleeps by the river when they do not ride it. Where they host the trophies of the times when victory tasted sweet and real.
The castle that houses Malistaire’s memorial.
Cyrus doesn’t ask why they made it.
Doesn’t balk at it.
Does run his hand along the edge of the stone, and the carved relief of Malistaire and Sylvia.
“When did you make this?”
“After,” The wizard says softly, “just after—you sent me to the dorms and, well I ran to Northguard, I couldn’t rest, couldn’t stop—”
“—I understand.”
They sit together.
They drink Hespermint tea and listen to the breathing of the cyclops above.
Eventually, the wizard has calmed their nerves enough to voice the thing that is weighing on them.
“I don’t want one for her.” They say softly, staring at the memorial, at the fresh flowers, the crystals bursting from the earth. “I wanted her dead. I wanted to hurt her. It’s—I’m not a kid anymore, I can’t pretend I’m doing this without understanding, I wanted to make her feel like I did, I wanted to make her pay—but I—I’m not supposed to.” They are going to cry and they don’t want to, they blink it back, grip on their teacup far too tight. “I chased power I shouldn’t have—I messed up again and let out a—a monster—I couldn’t think beyond wanting revenge for Azteca, for Pacal and Zaylin and Tezcat and Neza—for watching Dyvim die and for having to swallow Shadow and—” A sob is working its way up their throat and if they aren’t careful this will shatter them.
“You spent two months in the burrows and barrows of Khrysalis.” Cyrus interjects as the wizard gulps down air, “Isolated again from your classmates, your friends, those who can ground you. It is… easy, to get swept up in the tide of getting even. Especially when one is alone.”
“You didn’t.” They manage to mumble.
“Ah, but I am rarely left to my own. I have… children to teach, collegues who deign to check on me at irritating hours, and an apprentice who has flourished despite having been unable to appear in class more than twice a term, too busy getting themselves dragged into oncoming conflict.”
The wizard’s gaze snaps up at the word apprentice.
“I would have done more for you if it were in my power to do.”
He’s being nice.
He’s not supposed to be nice.
He’s Cyrus Drake.
He’s supposed to be lethal and logical and at best polite, but not nice.
The wizard laughs, and it’s hiding a sob.
Read the rest here <3
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