#this was a really interesting moral exercise for both characters

[woennix]

When qBagi told qEtoiles "What are you even fighting? There's nothing to fight!" was an insane moment, bc qEtoiles has been protecting EVERYONE and fighting so hard, and it's always so disregarded by almost everyone like: "oh yeah, the code is trying to kill qEtoiles again? Yeah idk thats what they do". Like this man has been living to fight for almost all this time in the island (not just bc of the code but bc of dungeons, mobs, etc).

qEtoiles has been trying to also warn everyone of the code and at points been so worried ab it but quickly disregarded also... and he barely gets a thanks like DAMN give my boy some credit. So what qBagi said felt like almost the last straw to me in a way lmao, like how dare you? (/rp! just for a sec to the character)

I wanna make absolutely clear though, that I LOVE it, that scene was a real moment of "damn she really doesn't know" AND THATS THE POINT.

She's a really good roleplayer bc that created a really interesting and clear contrast of experience and morals. Also tbh, as a character qBagi is like, almost the only one that makes sense and is completely valid for her to disregard the code bc... well she literally doesn't know, but it was so direct it got my reaction before I could process lmao.

I'm so interested and it'll be fun to see how her morals develop and her views on qEtoiles and others in response too, bc I feel like their morals might seem the opposite, but qEtoiles is much more of a pacifist than he usually shows, as he said, he fights a LOT but only for defense. Really excited for the new dynamics that are forming with her character.

[yibocheeks]

Translated excerpts from Wang Yang's interview with "Spotlight on the Legendary Drama" 《神剧亮了》

Did your impression of Yibo change after working with him?

WY: I don't watch a lot of dramas, even for my own dramas, so for Yibo, I had watched his movie, but haven't really followed his other works. But I think everyone knows of Yibo, plus with how handsome he is, I always see him on various ads. So I know of his level of influence. But I had never worked with him in a drama before and I also didn't know what kind of person he was, or what sort of mindset he would have coming into filming. But once we began filming, my first impression of him was quite significant; it was when he was strung up, after being interrogated by Lin Qiaosong. He looked to be in quite an awful state. Once he entered my line of vision and I saw how badly he had been beaten, first, for his makeup to look like that, it was unexpected, to look so tragic. Second, it was a very cold day, it was rainy and chilling. When I arrived on set at nighttime to film the scene, it was already past 8pm. Shanghai was very cold. He wore that shirt and was strung up, and he was there to be a point of focus for me during my scenes, after he had already finished filming his part. I stood there and was looking down upon him, and he would squat there, to help be a point of focus for me to look at. That left a deep impression for me. I don't know if every young actor who has this level of influence would be able to do this much, but on the first day that Yibo met me, he did this. He was covered in blood, wore very little, and squatted there to be a point of focus for me. Even up until the very last scene with Yibo, he would always fulfill this role, he never slacked on this, he would never say, "while Yang-ge is filming, please ask someone else to take this role of being a point of focus for him." Even when I said to him on that first day, "Yibo, you don't need to squat there, you can just stand on the side and say your lines and that would be ok, you don't need to keep squatting," he wouldn't listen and would continue to squat there. Also, when he first started, both Yibo and I are slow to warm up, but since I am his senior and we would have so many scenes together, I was willing to be the one to take the first step. I would always choose a conversation topic to start the conversation between us. I found that after a few days, Yibo would slowly start to open up. Although he is slower to warm up than I am, he is very sincere and would be very sincere in his interactions with me, no matter if it was just day-to-day or while acting. I feel that he is a young person who is both capable and has a good attitude. I think his attitude towards life is also quite impressive. He likes exercise, likes racing cars, likes motorcycles, and likes a lot of sports. When I was speaking with him, I felt that his understanding and knowledge towards these far exceeded me. So I think Yibo is very interesting and is a contender who is quite moving. In the process of making this drama, you could clearly see his growth. From the first day to our last scene together a few months later, he brought Wei Ruolai's character to life, and I was able to see how quickly his acting improved. Yibo is a very capable and zealous young person. I learned a lot from being with him.

When you mentioned that you watched one of his movies, was it One and Only or Hidden Blade?

I didn't watch One and Only, but he did show me some clips before it started playing in theatres, how he was when he was dancing. I watched Hidden Blade. Although it was a Republican era show, Wei Ruolai is still quite different from the character he plays in Hidden Blade. Because of this, you can see how much Yibo has grown, as well as his understanding and interpretation of characters. In Hidden Blade you can see how his character has his morally gray moments, with a slight deranged, perverse and twisted tendency, even obstinate. Although Wei Ruolai can be stubborn, he is not as perverse as the character in Hidden Blade. This is not easy to achieve. Although both characters are dressed in suits, you can see that Yibo is able to convey the characters differently.

Why did Shen Tunan decide to take Wei Ruolai on as a disciple? Was it because even when his life was under threat, he wanted to protect Shen Tunan?

This is the more personal reason. The public reason is because Wei Ruolai is a talent hard to come by. I believe Shen Tunan saw a younger version of himself in Wei Ruolai. He was not only ambitious but also capable. When the more senior Shen Tunan saw this junior Shen Tunan, it was impossible for him not to feel touched. This is the public reason. The more personal reason is that, when a disciple is willing to sacrifice their own life and put up with such cruel punishment and yet still not confess anything, for such a devoted disciple, even if he was not yet officially his disciple, would a mentor not want him to be his disciple, to recruit such a capable person to be by his side (more literally: to recruit his capable general)? Both for public and personal reasons, Shen Tunan making this decision was certain to happen. And when he said to Chief Deng, "One may choose the most advantageous path, but in doing so, one must not forget morality." I believe this is one of Shen Tunan's principles. That he will not forget those important to him in pursuit of personal profit.

Wei Ruolai is willing to sacrifice his life to protect Shen Tunan, what is Shen Tunan willing to give up to protect Wei Ruolai?

I really want to say, if it was in extreme circumstances, if Wei Ruolai's survival, or if the value of his survival was greater than the value of Shen Tunan's survival, then I also believe that Shen Tunan would sacrifice himself, as Wei Ruolai's survival was more valuable. Shen Tunan is someone who is patriotic and wants what's best for the country. If Wei Ruolai, with his strengths and capabilities, is able to help the people, the country, and the state, no matter if it is in Soviet Jiangxi or if it is under the communist regime, then I don't think Shen Tunan would second guess this decision, he would not think, this is just a disciple, how much responsibility would he have to bear, I don't think he would have these thoughts. He is someone who sees the bigger picture and has far-reaching goals and a vision for the future.

If you could only choose between Huang Congyun or Wei Ruolai to invite over for new year's dinner, who would you pick? This is similar to a question you were asked previously, who would you choose to save if both were drowning?

I think sometimes, it's hard for a person to be unbiased or not show preferential treatment, this is just common for human beings. If you ask me this, then my answer is still, I would definitely still ask Wei Ruolai. Especially after having received blood—within Shen Tunan's body there remains a portion of Wei Ruolai's blood—how could he not ask Wei Ruolai to spend the new year's at his home? Or otherwise, would he ask Wei Ruolai to go back to his home in Jiangxi and invite Congyun instead? Why would he do this, right?

In the drinking scene where Ruolai becomes drunk, Shen Tunan carried him home. How many people in Shen Tunan's life does he show this amount of care towards?

I think, other than family, there is only this disciple. Of course, if you bring up Congyun, before Ruolai showed up, if he had gotten drunk on behalf of his mentor for such an important matter, I think Shen Tunan would still carry him, but these were not the circumstances. Wei Ruolai got drunk, so sure, he'll carry him—his own disciple, who is like family. After all, why would there be this serving of tea between mentor and disciple? Although it is not a blood tie, it is similar.

After Shen Tunan carried Wei Ruolai up, what did he discover?

He discovered that the wall was covered with Shen Tunan. The object of Wei Ruolai's interests, including being able to discover Shen Tunan's secret about Kunpeng, this was all the result of Wei Ruolai's efforts. I think in that moment, Shen Tunan was thinking, "This youngster!" But actually, I think he was very happy. As a Central Bank economic advisor, to be so worshipped by a young person, to be studied so closely, it is a very happy thing.

Was it hard to carry Yibo?

Not at all, Yibo is about 60kg or so, so it was not difficult. Also Yibo is quite lean with long limbs, so he was pretty easy to carry. It was just that the stairs in the alley building were too narrow and steep, so it still took some effort. But, although we did a few takes of the scene, it was still feasible, it was not a problem.

When Shen Tunan ended his relationship with Wei Ruolai, and he broke the teacup, was this something you came up with on the spot?

This was something I improvised. The script did not say that I had to throw this, it was a spur of the moment action. When we filmed this, it hit the table with a bang and it scared Ruolai, it startled Yibo. Because I did not tell him, and I also did not think that I would do this. Through the interaction between the two of us, he helped set the tone when he urgently pled his case, and it reached a breaking point. Sometimes when a person gets angry, they will externalize it in some way, and this action was impromptu. I think it came out quite well.

Some people say that Wang Yang's acting is such that he can even bring out the veins on his forehead, have you seen this review?

I don't think this is a marker of whether an actor is good at acting or not. I think, once an actor feels these genuine emotions, when you really get angry, then the veins will come out like that, that's because my feelings were really moved, I became immersed, and entered this character's state of mind. I think this is something a lot of actors do, I don't think it's anything special.

[taxinealkaloids]

I do adore how absolutely unhinged all of the Eye-aligned characters are; Jon is trying his best to be normal but is also the "it's remarkably easy to buy an axe in London guy," Gertrude mutilated a man and threw his body in a hole, and Jonahelias did...all that. Maybe the spooky eyeball really does eat social skills/morality because the 3 of them are freaks of the highest order

Oh I think you’re sort of getting at something that I consider one of the defining features of the Beholding as an entity! (Keep in mind this is all just my interpretation and I don’t claim to be the defining authority on this subject.) 

 While the Eye certainly could be the reason for the general unhinged-ness of our three featured avatars, I would like to submit the alternate theory that it was the other way around; they were Already Like That, and that’s what drew the Beholding to them. I feel that the Eye is kind of unique in how it views its avatars. Many of the entities behave primarily as predators; they are interested in their avatars only insofar as they can use them as tools with which to hunt, and they override their original form and personality to facilitate this. They don’t really exercise their own will anymore; rather they exist as an extension of their patron. In ep 47 Jon asks The Distortion, Michael, whether he owns the hallways Helen got lost in; in response, Michael replies, “Does your hand in any way own your stomach?” I think this sums up the way avatars become incorporated into their patron entity really well. Michael isn’t a person anymore, he’s an appendage, grabbing the Spiral’s prey and dragging it into the hallways to be digested. Now some entities, notably the Web, clearly DO have agendas beyond simple consumption, but the Web is, to put it lightly, a control freak. It doesn’t have any interest in its avatars having free will. Annabelle is a puppet with a head full of spiders. She’s not herself anymore either. Basically, most of the entities don’t gain anything from their avatars having free will, so they take it away. 

The Eye, though? The Eye does gain something from its avatars having free will. In fact, their free will is kind of the POINT, isn’t it? Elias, Jon, and Gertrude aren’t puppets, because puppets aren’t any fun to watch. In my opinion, the Eye isn’t USING its avatars so much as it is excitedly observing them like lab rats. You wouldn’t want your lab rats to be puppets subsumed by your own will, because that would be boring as hell and also pointless. You wouldn’t learn anything that way, and nothing exciting would happen because you’d already know everything the rats were going to do. You want them to participate in the experiment! Their participation is essential, actually! So, instead of taking over their minds or twisting them into monsters, the Eye provides its avatars with the necessary tools (compulsion, partial omniscience, etc) to be really great at data collection and then it just sort of…sets them loose and watches to see what they find out! Of course, for this laissez-faire approach to work, it needs the sort of people who are already inclined to do the necessary legwork. If you’re a voyeuristic eyeball god and you have the ability to bestow individuals with cosmic powers, you’re gonna give them to people who are gonna do something interesting with them, and Elias, Jon, and Gertrude certainly don’t disappoint. Even before Jon started to feel any of the physical effects of Beholding’s hold, he was exploring the murder tunnels, stalking his coworkers, and  throwing himself in the path of avatars in a desperate attempt to satisfy his own curiosity. Gertrude was basically running around trying to fistfight every single entity and blow up their shit. Both of them were basically putting on the best show possible. Tragically, we don’t know much about Jonah’s own path to Beholding, but I bet the room the Eye allows for its avatars to retain their free will and find things out for themselves would have drawn him to it over the other entities. (I do also headcanon that he originally was quite impulsive, inclined to throw himself into potentially dangerous situations in order to satisfy his curiosity like Jon, and had to learn over the years to temper these inclinations in the interest of not dying.)

Anyway, tl;dr, the eye WANTS freaks of the highest order and that’s why they’re all Like That. Thanks for your ask <33

[dilfsonic]

PLEASE tell me more about Sonmetadow! Anything at all- headcanons, meta, just rambling about them, anything!!

Sorry this is so late!! But I wanted to answer this for a while.

> Metal gradually develops complicated feelings the longer he’s allowed close proximity with his organic copy. As an AI he learns constantly, but given he’s only ever around Eggman his emotionally intelligence can only go so far. The more he watches, learns from, and mimics Sonic, the more his emotional intelligence grows. And the more he ‘feels’ what Sonic feels (this headcanon is derived from a mix of the OVA movie from the 90s and modern iterations).

> In my au, Metal naturally forms feelings for Shadow because SONIC has feelings for Shadow first. Metal inadvertently mimics these emotions and they develop the longer Sonic’s emotions influence him. In turn he becomes influenced by Shadow’s feelings…it’s a never ending feedback loop, feeding into one another.

> Metal may mimic their emotions to begin with, but as he becomes more advanced, he comes to grasp his own uniquely complicated feelings. He hated Sonic, but it was a hate he was programmed with. When hardwiring meets fallible emotion— which comes out on top? That’s the question. He now can no longer tell if he wants to be his organic copy or if he wants to be WITH him. Sonic has a unique ability to the touch the core of those he empathizes with, and I think if he got past Metal’s hardwiring/if that was ever compromised, Metal has the potential to be the most touched by him.

> He’s still learning, he never ‘finishes’ developing and therefore his feelings are ever evolving, the more self aware he becomes and can begin to pinpoint and predict his own feelings. Sonic is his primary guide in this, while Shadow (who is peak example of holding onto very complicated emotions) kind of learns alongside with him.

> Metal and Shadow bond a lot over things that have been brought up in canon. Shadow has a unique and interesting facet of his character in which he’s shown to consistently show a great empathy and understanding of robots and androids. Metal Sonic, Omega, Emerl, etc… Particularly with Metal, who has a similar dilemma as Omega, in which he’s a tool for the Doctor, like Shadow was. Whereas canonically Omega defected on his own, Shadow is trying to convince Metal to do it. He won’t hesitate to fight Metal, but he would prefer not to, and he’s set aside their necessary opposition to work with Metal in the past, who was even willing to take the chaos emerald from his own body to give Shadow a chance to warp back home. That’s pretty awesome.

> An interesting observation to me is that Shadow and Sonic are both often in opposition from a moral standpoint, they actually both share a goal with Metal. Both of them extend their hands in offering to him, and encourage him to make his own decisions independent of Eggman. And it’s not that Sonic and Shadow even want Metal to be a hero necessarily— even if Metal were to remain an adversary, they just want Metal to come to that decision on his own. Shadow and Sonic both have a strong sense of freedom in their own ways, and encourage others to exercise their own freedom even if it means that person continuing on their own opposing path.

> In a what-if scenario, seeing Sonic and Shadow combine their efforts to free Metal is really fascinating to me. Metal is like Shadow in the sense where it begs the question, can he really learn to love? Is he capable of that particular emotion? Can he grasp what romantic interest really means? He understands as best he can, and is still learning all the while… Yes, while Sonic and Shadow certainly hold a candle for one another by this point in the story, their ‘love’ is considerably complicated. They’re still rivals, after all. Rivals with benefits, I suppose! Except the longer they’re ‘stuck’ together (affectionate) the more they fall into a comfortable push and pull.

They become sort of inadvertently committed (though Sonic continues to see other lovers he’s kept up over the years, Knuckles and Jet), and it probably stems from the fact that Sonic is canonically one of the only (if not the only) people to touch his heart. They are both still guarded in their own ways, and would probably require many lifetimes over and over to fully learn and know the other, and it’s something they enjoy exploring.

The difference is, Shadow has endless time to learn about Metal, but only one lifetime to learn about Sonic. It’s sort of bittersweet, the way Sonic continues to live on through Metal after he’s gone in lots of little ways, but Metal is still his own unique personhood, and Shadow knows better than to think he could use him as a replacement.

Anyway, sorry for this wall of text!! I have a Lot of opinions and feelings on these guys. They’re my OT3 LOL. Please feel free to ask more questions whether it’s regarding my au or just sonmetadow as a concept in general because I have a never ending fountain of thoughts and scenarios on them.

[t00thpasteface]

I forgot if I've already asked you this question, but who is your number one favorite Fictional Antagonist from Media? Rules are as follows; feel free to ignore:

If you want to choose a recurring villain like Bowser or The Joker, you have to choose a particular incarnation of this character. Like Alan Moore's Joker or Paper Mario 64's Bowser.

Specific Characters/Entities Only. You can't say, "Haunted Houses that aren't haunted by, like, a single ghost or anything in particular" like my mom wanted to. She settled firmly on "The Overlook Hotel" and she's a stronger person for it.

Villainous Duos like Boris & Natasha are accepted.

People have a hard time picking a #1, so you're allowed to list as many runner-ups as you like. Listen to your heart.

Protagonists who are their own worst enemies don't count!

Villainous characters who are protagonists in their story are very begrudgingly accepted. Whether or not George Costanza (A Villainous Protagonist) or Detective Columbo (A Heroic Antagonist) count is beyond the scope of this paper.

Thank you for your time!

hmmmm!! that's a really interesting question to chew on actually.

i'm not usually drawn to villains or villain-driven stories, outside of games that necessitate it as a gameplay mechanic or genre staple a la mario games or your standard JRPGs. and i wouldn't call a glorified game mechanic a character if they really don't do much besides throw barrels at the player to jump over. porky and giygas are exceptions but honestly not much; they aren't very complicated characters, even though they're snappily written, and most of where they shine is just the fact that they're one well-placed load-bearing piece in a larger cohesive narrative. they don't really capture my attention outside of their gameplay role.

i'm overall much more compelled by Romantic with a capital R stories about internal, oftentimes more abstracted struggles. i mean, i don't have to tell you that my favorite books EVER are "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea" and "The Great Gatsby," both of which play with deuteragonists as foils to the narrator that inevitably spiral and leave the reader with something of a thought exercise regarding the intersection of nature versus nurture, intent versus action, past versus future, et cetera. the characters themselves are symbolic of sociological concepts so much larger than themselves, and because of that, they can't truly be classified into "hero" or "villian", because the topics those books grapple with are so incredibly messy and morally-fuzzy that the characters who exemplify them must reflect that same complexity and nuance.

as soon as a story starts to veer towards "all our problems are caused by One Guy who we can remove from the equation forever," it usually loses me, or if nothing else it just makes me zone out when the villain and his evil army of doom is on screen until we're back to introspective character-building moments between the protags, deuterags, etc. i'm the boring guy who likes slow, dialogue-driven things more than flashy show tunes.

ALL THAT BEING SAID......

villains really only shine (for me) if they're funny as fuck. that's the one way they can really get my attention as a character that has, by definition, been written into a unilaterally negative role that must be booed. they get to be FUNNY! and they get to be my favorite kind of funny: insane slapstick funny. i like seeing cartoony villains get absolutely pulverized, thrown around like wet dishrags, set on fire, flung off cliffs, you name it. the zanier the better. so here's my own elite 4 in ascending order:

fourth is 2012 avengers movie Loki. very hammy, very showy, extremely puncheable face, and he takes SO much physical punishment and writhes like a worm the whole time. super fun.

third is pokemon's Archie. emerald is my favorite game but archie SHINES in alpha sapphire. he's such a huge personality and he takes hits with a smile. and then he gets a big fuzzy redemption at the end because this is a game for kids, but even that is so over-the-top cornball that i just laugh and smile the whole time instead of rolling my eyes. a good wholesome time was had by all.

second is Mr. Burns in the simpsons. let me preface this by saying i really don't watch anything after, ehhhh, i'd say season 8 or 9, because that's about where my box sets ended growing up. any episode where Mr. Burns gets some slapstick gags about his incredibly frail body that runs on pure evil is a good episode. i especially love "the springfield files," "homer the smithers," "homer at the bat," and "who shot mr burns" parts 1 and 2.

and my favorite is undoubtedly Sheldon J. Plankton. similar situation as simpsons; i don't watch anything after seasons 1-3 and the first movie. he commands every single scene he's in, which is especially impressive given that he's literally just a single tiny copepod. he's got the best villain laugh EVER. he's even a delight in the game "battle for bikini bottom"... you GOTTA check out BFBB Rehydrated if you like the spirit and snark of the early seasons. i love him in "walking small," "F.U.N.," "the algae's always greener," and of course, the movie. he's evil! he's diabolical!! he's LEMON SCENTED!!!!

[artemisia-black]

Character analysis of Kingsley Shacklebolt 

Because I've been chatting so much about him on the @harrypocter's Discord server, here is my character analysis of Kingsley

1.0 Ambition and cunning, with a moral compass

He is obviously a very skilled wizard and must be ambitious to reach the point in his career where he can lead the hunt for Sirius. His skill is confirmed by Voldemort himself during the battle of the seven potters (where his talent is deemed to be second to Moody’s) : 

“You-Know-Who acted exactly as Mad-Eye expected him to,” sniffed Tonks. “Mad-Eye said he’d expect the real Harry to be with the toughest, most skilled Aurors. He chased Mad-Eye first, and when Mundungus gave them away he switched to Kingsley.” DH

Furthermore, Kingsley deliberately feeding the ministry misinformation about Sirius, shows two key things about his character: 

-First, unlike other ambitious law-enforcement agents such as Barty Crouch Snr, he is willing to risk his career to do the right thing. 

- Second, he demonstrates a high level of cunning as no one in the ministry ever suspects him (granted, they are all fairly incompetent, but nobody ever questions him). His ability to play his role well is best demonstrated during his dialogue with Arthur: 

“Morning, Weasley,” said Kingsley carelessly, as they drew nearer. “I’ve been wanting a word with you, have you got a second?”

“Yes, if it really is a second,” said Mr. Weasley, “I’m in rather a hurry.”

“Here,” said Kingsley brusquely to Mr. Weasley, shoving a sheaf of parchment into his hand, “I need as much information as possible on flying Muggle vehicles sighted in the last twelve months. We’ve received information that Black might still be using his old motorcycle.”

Kingsley tipped Harry an enormous wink and added, in a whisper, “Give him the magazine, he might find it interesting.” 

Then he said in normal tones, “And don’t take too long, Weasley, the delay on that firelegs report held our investigation up for a month.” OoTP

Notice the use of words like ‘carelessly’ and ‘brusquely’ to describe his tone, both of which imply that he’s used to commanding authority. 

And this brings me to my next point. 

2.0 A sacred 28 Pureblood 

The Shaklebolts are a member of the sacred 28 (a list which excluded the monied Potters and the pureblood Weasleys); therefore, Kingsley is part of the wizarding upper-crust. 

It is interesting to note that he is the only member of the Order, other than Sirius, who openly questions Dumbledore’s judgment. 

“... why Dumbledore didn’t make Potter a prefect?” said Kingsley.

“He’ll have had his reasons,” replied Lupin.

“But it would’ve shown confidence in him. It’s what I’d’ve done,” persisted Kingsley, “’ specially with the Daily Prophet having a go at him every few days...” OoTP

This could hint at the idea that Dumbledore is able to exercise more power over those on the lower rungs of wizarding society. In contrast, Kingsley and Sirius have more ingrained confidence (from the privilege they grew up with) to question him.  

Furthermore, he carries himself so well that even the wizard-hating (and class-obsessed) Dursleys take to him. 

“This, and the fact that Kingsley had mastered the knack of dressing like a Muggle, not to mention a certain reassuring something in his slow, deep voice, had caused the Dursleys to take to Kingsley in a way that they had certainly not done with any other wizard.” DH

Kingsley also demonstrates a very astute knowledge of how pureblood supremacy leads to radicalisation: 

“I’d say that it’s one short step from Wizards first’ to ‘Purebloods first,’ and then to ‘Death Eaters,’” replied Kingsley. 

And this understanding echoes what Sirius says about his parent’s beliefs. Kingsley then goes on to give more strategic insight into Voldemort’s plans: 

“Which suits him, of course,” said Kingsley. “The air of mystery is creating more terror than actually showing himself.” DH

3.0 The fire beneath the Ice

In almost all of his appearances Kingsley is described as having a stoic, calming presence. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have a dark side. 

While not actively fighting to kill, he reports it in a matter of fact manner. 

“Followed by five, injured two, might’ve killed one,” Kingsley reeled off. DH

He then shows a tendency towards a dark sense of humor: 

“Stan?” repeated Hermione. “But I thought he was in Azkaban?”

Kingsley let out a mirthless laugh.

“Hermione, there’s obviously been a mass breakout which the Ministry has hushed up. Travers’s hood fell off when I cursed him, he’s supposed to be inside too.

In conclusion, Kingsley  is a  sharp, intelligent, cunning, ambitious, privileged, commanding character, who has a wry sense of humor. He also has a dark edge to him, and is willing to take great risks to do what is right. And this is now a Kingsley stan account.

[swagcoolcat]

Different Superstore Characters and Their Autism

(These are all headcanons)

(some have canon support)

Dina

* Strong Points

* Math

* To the point of being able to do basic math in her head

* 198+535? Give her 5 seconds.

* Math always came easy to her

* Music

* Learned guitar very quickly

* Also can play piano

* She’s a very skilled singer despite never having lessons

* Speaking

* Dina is really good at keeping her voice and her words clear. She knows how to get her point across. Even when under stress, she usually doesn’t crack.

* Weak Points

* Social cues

* She’s not bothered by this, and she doesn’t care. It’s not her fault neurotypical bitches make things so complicated.

* Pop culture

* She does, however, know the most random niche information, and is appalled when others don’t also know the random trivia she knows.

* Takes everything so literally

* Her response to Jonah’s “soon we’re gonna have to pee in bottles” during Curbside Pickup comes to mind

* She’s also bad with common phrases

* “I don’t like you spreading lies about fish!”

* Doesn’t seem to recognize how dangerous some things are

* Or how fragile humans are

* Sense of direction

* This bothers her a ton because she feels like she SHOULD have a good sense of direction, but even though she’s lived in St Louis her whole life, she still needs a GPS to get the vast majority of places.

* Yums

* Sorting things, specifically by color

* Anything that isn’t sorted by color when she buys it is sorted by color no later than an hour after it’s purchased

* Eye contact

* She actually aggressively likes eye contact lol

* Socks

* Icks

* Physical affection

* She only sometimes tolerates it, depending on who it’s from

* She’s somewhat okay with being touched, but she doesn’t particularly enjoy it

* Changes in routine

* Includes things like having to buy a new Halloween costume, or having to get new pens (both canon instances)

* High pitched noises

* A lot of noises actually

* Masking

* Does not bother masking most times

* She does it so rarely that it’s very obvious when she is masking

* Stims

* Making noises vocally

* Jumping

* Waving her arms

* Twirling pens or knives in her fingers

* Special Interests (past and present)

* Birds

* Security

* Knives

* Music from the 1940s-1960s

* Coping Mechanisms

* Sex

* Hitting and breaking things

* Driving

* Yelling at people

* Other details

* Low empathy

* Strong sense of right and wrong

* Usually this is in a rule sense, but there are a few cases where her morals don’t align with rules, and she breaks them to stick with said morals.

* Biggest example in my opinion is her efforts to keep Mateo from getting detained

* Undiagnosed

* She’s the most likely to have a diagnosis, but probably still undiagnosed

* Blunt

* Cares a lot for animals

* Especially any type of bird

Jonah

* Strong Points

* Vocabulary

* He has a large vocabulary and prides himself on knowing a lot of words

* (He’s so annoying about it sometimes too- he’s just like me FOR REAL)

* This exercise is teaching me I’m more like Jonah than I thought lol

* You’d think with this he’d be able to get his point across well but you’d be wrong

* Vibe Check ??

* (Sorry I couldn’t think of a better way to put it)

* He just is really good about knowing when something is off

* Does he handle the situation well when something is off? Totally depends.

* Weak Points

* Bad at reading social cues

* In denial over his struggles with reading them, thinking he’s great at it, when in fact he’s exactly the opposite

* Implying he’s bad at reading social clues will offend him

* Auditory processing issues

* Tends to give too many details

* Specifically about pieces of media, he’ll share a bit too much. He’s not good at giving a quick synopsis.

* He’s just like me for real

* He’s so fucking impulsive

* HE CAME TO WORK IN RETAIL IN A COMPLETELY SEPARATE STATE ON A WHIM

* AND HE ONLY CAME THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE BECAUSE HE WANTED A SNACK LMAO

* Has some insomnia

* Very bad at staying on topic sometimes

* The way he’ll just randomly start talking about something else in the series? Canon. Canon.

* Speaking in general

* If he doesn’t think very carefully before he speaks, he will stutter. Even if he does think carefully, there’s a chance he’ll stutter anyway.

* He’s. Just. Like. Me. For. Real.

* Yums

* Loves physical affection

* To the point of pushing it, and not noticing when it’s too much

* He gives hugs a lot

* He and Amy are very much the loves affection x doesn’t like affection that much.

* He enjoys changes in his routine

* He would literally reorganize an entire house if given the opportunity, he loves change

* Unless it’s initiated by literally anyone else, but he likes to initiate changes often

* Socks

* Icks

* Loud noises

* RSD

* This isn’t necessarily an ick but he wants people to like him SO bad so I guess people not liking him is an ick

* Masking

* He cannot stop masking

* He doesn’t realize he’s masking, but he was raised to mask his entire life, so it’s just normal to him

* He is always exhausted because of this

* He always seems uncomfy when he’s not masking

* Stims

* Moving his hands or arms in any way

* Twirling pens

* Repeating words

* Tapping his fingers

* Pacing

* Special Interests (past and present)

* The Americans

* Politics

* Musical Theatre

* Constellations

* Horses

* Coping Mechanisms

* Comfort shows

* Talking about it

* Or yelling if he needs to

* Quiet alone time

* Cooking for others

* Other details

* Feels the need to prove himself constantly

* Out of the three, Jonah probably had the worst upbringing specifically in regards to his neurodiversity, with his parents showing very obvious favoritism to his older brothers, and with his brother, Josh, always bullying him because of his neurodiversity

* High empathy

* Strong sense of right and wrong

* Undiagnosed

* Also so in denial

* If anyone implies he might be neurodivergent he’ll be like “I couldn’t possibly be, not that there’s anything wrong, but like, couldn’t be me, actually”

* Not good at making friends

* He gets better at this over the course of the show

* He’s not good at this before the show because he never sticks with anything, so even though he knows more of who he is than he did in childhood (where he was more of an outcast) he doesn’t stick around long enough to make long lasting friends.

Eric

* Strong Points

* Details

* He’s very detail oriented and notices small things

* He’s good at recognizing when things are off center and it drives him crazy

* Weak Points

* Bad at reading social cues

* Literally the worst

* He knows this to an extent but he’s not aware of just how bad he is at it

* Especially bad at reading the tone of a social situation (whether it be serious, funny, sad, whatever)

* Generally more quiet and reserved

* With his ‘safe’ people he is literally the exact opposite

* Also this isn’t a weak point per se but this felt like the right place to put it

* Dissociates a lot

* Auditory Processing troubles

* He literally looks like he doesn’t know what’s going on sometimes and it’s always funny

* Yums

* Loves physical affection

* But he’s picky on who he’s affectionate with

* Likes to sit on the floor

* Socks

* Sorting things by color/organizing in general

* Mateo leaves Eric home alone. He comes back and the closet has been rearranged by color. This happens often.

* Mateo doesn’t mind this tbh because he likes stuff organized that way too.

* Sometimes when he’s at Amy’s and he’s playing with her kids, he’ll get distracted and sort their toys

* Icks

* Dislikes changes in routine

* Loud noises

* A lot of clothing textures

* Velvet is the worst of these

* Strong perfumey smells

* Masking

* He does mask

* However, he unmasks around his safe people (Mateo, Amy, etc)

* He doesn’t really have the proper terminology for it but he’s sort of aware when he needs to put up a nice face or where he can just be stoic

* He’s good with eye contact and doesn’t hate it

* Stims

* Biting/Chewing

* Clicking pens

* Anything he can busy his hands with actually

* Whistling

* Repeating words

* Rapidly blinking

* Pacing

* Special Interests (past and present)

* Plants

* Specifically succulents

* Trains

* This one is literally so self indulgent but I don’t care lmao

* Baking

* Giraffes

* Filmmaking

* (Because of a line where Mateo says he’s using Eric’s projector)

* He definitely still has a VCR player and a good amount of VHS tapes, and you can pry them from his cold dead fucking hands

* Weather

* He likes thunderstorms in particular

* This one is also self indulgent but I also just think it’d be kind of funny for Mateo to have severe storm anxiety and for Eric to be one of those bitches that would stand outside and watch the tornado if given the chance.

* Coping Mechanisms

* Rocking

* Hugging his giraffe stuffy

* Baking

* Sorting things

* Other details

* High empathy

* He Must be wearing jackets

* He can be without one, but he tends to have a shorter social battery when he’s not wearing one

* He doesn’t know why this is, he just is like “hm, I don’t really like being upset all the time in public places, guess I’ll just wear jackets all the time”

* Short sleeve jackets are okay, it literally just has to be an extra layer

* It’s an extra weight thing but he does not know this

* Undiagnosed

* Ron Sosa is also aggressively neurodivergent so their family is just like “ah, so the men in our family are just fucking weird, carry on then”

* Blunt

* Less so than Dina but it is definitely there

* Most of his close friends are people he’s known for a long time

* Basically saying he’s not great at making friends that he hasn’t known since he was in school

[russanogreenstripe]

I've been playing Owlcat's adaptation of Pathfinder: Kingmaker and have some thoughts

There's a choices they made when designing their game that I think are really interesting from a design perspective, even if I don't fully understand or even agree with them in all cases, but they are useful intellectual exercises. Perhaps the most interesting to me is how they handle Neutral alignments.

I'm going to assume most people finding this know about the 3x3 Alignment grid used in Dungeons and Dragons and other games descended from it, including the 1e version of Pathfinder that the video game is based on. The classic Lawful vs Chaotic and Good vs Evil. Countless gallons of ink and terabytes of text have been spilled over this very basic system, but it's usually the ends of those axes that get the attention. Neutral rarely gets as much detail or analysis about it compared to Good/Evil/Chaos/Law, and it's usually in one of three modes. If I had to come up with names or descriptors for them, I'd go with something like Unaligned, Not Opted In, and Balance, and versions of these exist for both axes. Unaligned is when these opposing forces don't register for you at all, usually due to a lack of cognitive capability. Simple constructs, plants, and animals often fall in the Unaligned category, and I've heard this approach to Neutral basically described as "Neutral Hungry" - what does a bear think about moral debates? It doesn't, it only cares about whether it's hungry or not. Most people don't expect complex philosophical thinking out of a pitcher plant. Not Opted In is when a person has enough cognitive capacity that they could make principled decisions regarding the two axes, but for whatever reason simply don't or haven't. Most people aren't saints or devils, paragons or chameleons. They're just... normal. They're not concerned with cosmic struggles for Freedom versus Order, or pledged to uphold the tenets of Kindness or the debasements of Sin. They just kinda go about doing their thing without needing a big picture. When they make decisions, alignment isn't their primary factor - other things like practicality, culture, needs, and other mundane forces are more important to them. Balance is when a person does have cognitive capacity to recognize these dynamics, and intentionally chooses none of them. This is the classic Druid alignment, the middle way between the extremes. It is a choice and a firm principle, but not in a Lawful or Chaotic way, but in a way that is simultaneously both and neither.

There are certain universal dialogue options in Kingmaker that are tagged with alignments. Any character can choose those options, and doing so will shift your alignment meter towards that alignment very slightly. Then there are some that are tagged with "Requires Good/Evil/Law/Chaos/Neutral" - for those ones, only characters who have that alignment can select it, and also gives a bump towards that alignment. Pretty straightforward, and a fairly representative way to handle these systems in a rigid video game. The universal Neutral options (whether that's True Neutral, Neutral Good, Neutral Evil, Chaotic Neutral, or Lawful Neutral) tend to be somewhere around Unaligned or Not Opted In. Where things get interesting is when we look at the "Requires Neutral" options - all the examples I can think of are written intentionally from a Balance perspective. They come up when two independent groups or forces are in opposition, and these options allow you to either choose no side, or choose BOTH sides as a mediator. And when you choose those options, there truly is an opportunity for reconciliation that prevents otherwise inevitable division and even bloodshed. If you asked me out of the blue "Hey, where on the alignment grid do you find brokering a peace agreement between two opposed factions that stops a civil war?" I'd probably guess either Good or Lawful. Owlcat Games says, "No, that's True Neutral." And the opposing forces don't need to be different halves of an alignment axis - there's a section early on where the only way to not take a side between two Lawful Evil groups and prevent escalation to full-blown conflict is to take an option that Requires Neutral. There's scenarios later that let you act a mediator between two very different people, and two opposed nations, and if you want to truly be able to bring both sides to the table in those scenarios, you have to be Neutral. Even if your intended outcomes are things like "Foster understanding" or "Avert a civil war," things I would categorize as Good, the game makes them Neutral. My current playthrough is mostly Chaotic Good, and I've been pretty satisfied with those options. But when there is deep, deep opposition between two groups in the Stolen Lands, Good won't always bridge a gap between them, but Neutral can. This makes Neutral options an actual Choice instead of just the thing you pick when there's not a Good/Lawful/Chaotic/Evil option - it is a principled position on its own, just as nuanced and effective as the extremes of the chart, and not just the weird ugly grey color in the middle of the alignment chart, and I think that's neat. That's different than the way I thought about it before, and that's cool to analyze.

[dangermousie]

Farscape rewatch: 2x05 The Way We Weren’t

One of the best eps and so wonderfully Aeryn-centric.

If I didn’t love Pilot already. I would have fallen in love with him after this ep. The scene where he says ‘but I so desperately wanted to see the stars’ to justify to himself his prior course of action, really breaks my heart. You know, one of the biggest reasons I wouldn’t try Farscape for years, not until S4 in fact, was the ‘muppets.’ No way could I watch a scifi show with puppets. But that’s the thing. I forget Rygel and Pilot are puppets. They are complicated characters, like the rest and their arcs and their emotional heft is no less than that of human characters.

Another thing that I was thinking about with this ep, is how Farscapian. There are no true innocents here. Not really. Farscapian universe won’t let them be. Anyone who starts out innocent is forced to lose it, sooner or later. Crichton and Pilot are both innocents we see lose it. Pilot’s actions led to the death of the previous Pilot, he compromised to serve Peacekeepers. Crichton started the show out as a wide-eyed idealistic pacifist and look what he became end of S4, strapping a nuclear bomb on himself, offering the Universe to Scorpius for a mere chance to get Aeryn back. Pretty much everyone has some breaking point, some driving obsession that can override morality (I mean, Pilot wanted to fly badly enough he agreed to work for evil, in s4 John promises to give wormholes to Scorpius and thus bring war and destruction to untold innocents, to save Aeryn.)

No one starts out evil, or damaged, or guilty in FS. Even Scorpius, much as I loathe him, we really find out later what made him who he became. But (and that is why I love Farscape), not only does the show stick to “an explanation is not an excuse” belief, but there is always a possibility of grace. Of moving on, damaged and tarnished, and making new happiness and actively trying to find peace and goodness. Aeryn gets a chance to rediscover herself away from the brutality of PKs. She gets a chance to be a full-fledged human being (but also how much do I love that her deadliness does not diminish one bit.) Pilot gets the bond with Moya. Crichton, messed up beyond any recognition by the end, gets a chance at family, peace, and rediscovering innocence through his child.

So much of this ep is about choices and past and that’s another thing I love about the show. It’s not big on ‘fate.’ Aeryn and Crichton is my huge, huge, unrivaled OTP but they are not ‘destined,’ ‘fated,’ or any of that junk. They met at the time there was a possibility and their relationships developed from there. If Crichton did propose to Alex and she accepted and they stayed on Earth, I can see him being happy. He’d never have hit his full potential for feeling (or for suffering) but he would have been a happy guy. And for Aeryn, the moment was right. She loved Velorek but she couldn’t really allow herself to express it or to feel it fully, in PK society. Ironically, it’s her experience with Velorek, combined with her experience with her mother telling her she is special, that was that little push that prompted her to take to Crichton’s words of ‘you can be more’ in the Premiere. It’s actually so interesting to me btw that Aeryn has a type - techie with a core of steel but a soft soul and someone willing to buck all norms for what he thinks is right (Velorek, even Larraq to a degree) and John is basically the apotheosis of the type, but that Aeryn is so far from John’s default type prior to her - blond, easy going, chill. 

I really love the scene where he comforts her after she’s had an exercise session and her hands are raw from the punching bag. He just holds her, as she cries. And she cries messily, unprettily, very real. 

I love that so consistently, no matter how deadly he gets, he is the soft one in the relationship, the emotionally more open one, the one who wants to talk. She started out as a machine and discovers the beauty of vulnerability and humanity as the show progresses and he starts out as a vulnerable soft sweetheart who has to armor himself to survive - being with him restores to her, oh so gradually, the humanity that he society stole from her but later on having her is what keeps in him the humanity that is being so brutally and thoroughly ripped from him. He restores her soul and she restores him after the universe does its best to destroy that in them. They meet somewhere in the scarred middle and the equality of it is beautiful. (But also, achieving their full potential is riven with loss - John would have never shown all this drive and devotion and capability as a scientist on earth but he would have also not been tortured and driven to madness; Aeryn paid for her soul by loss of everything she knew.)

And that shot of them sitting across the PK symbol from each other, as she quietly tells him about the past, and they are not touching (I love that he knows it’s not the time for cuddling, that she needs her space to collect herself) and it’s so symbolic: that red stripe between them.

One of my favorite quotes occurs there, actually:

It’s just the way they say it. Quiet.

This is a gender reversal in their relationship, isn’t it? She is the one who has problems opening up (Crichton is the only one she allows herself to be vulnerable with and it’s been a long hard process to earn it, for him). He is the one who comforts her, who wants her to talk.

He is the emotional one, the one with the heart like a carpet for her to walk on. She prefers action and it’s hard for her to navigate the emotional landscape. And yet, Crichton is never weak. He is never diminished because of caring, or being the emotional one. I like it.

I also love the attitude everyone has on discovering Aeryn has been aboard Moya before (which looks grey and dull, not the gorgeous colors of now). I love that the show doesn’t shy away either from confronting that no, she did have an ugly past, it’s not just the words, and the fact that ultimately what she is now wins over for her shipmates from what she was then. China is 100% on point when she asks did they all think she did nice things while the rest of Peacekeepers tortured and murdered; this is a question not just for the characters but for the audience - it would be so easy to sweep her past under the rug but the show won’t do so. And so Aeryn did horrible stuff and she has to live with it.

The thing with Velorek, the betrayal. I think the scene with her Mother when she was a child was so crucial for her actions post-Velorek. If she didn’t have that ‘differentness’ implanted, she could have become even more martinet like after Velorek. But instead, it gave her a sliver of an opening…And again. I love the show for going there - for giving Aeryn a horrific betrayal in her past - perpetrated by her to advance her career against a man who loved her and who she loved and who was doing something good - and showing she is not just a victim, she is a perpetrator and that if you live in a monstrous regime, are brainwashed by a monstrous regime, you have no chance but become a monster.

The grace and the hope is that when given a chance to take a new path she does (and it’s even more stark with Crais - who was many more times a monster but even he is shown to be warped by the regime and after enough time on his own he becomes if not good per se, then at least a real human being capable of doing good things.)

To get back to the Velorek thing - it is also such a theme that being good does not guarantee reward or a happy ending. There is no easy grace - Aeryn betrayed a good man, a man she loved (as much out of panic because she felt herself deviating from prescribed path as to get advancement - I don’t think she’d have become “more” even with her capability for it if her choice to return to default was not taken from her until she had some chance to reflect and transform, and that is so realistic, brainwashing and societal conditioning are pervasive) and he was executed and she has to live with it.

And how do I love that so much of this ep is turning defaults on their heads - from reminding us that Aeryn was a perpetrator not a victim but also with Velorek who first seems a peacekeeper psycho and then we realizes keeps his humanity as much as he can in that mad place. It’s like their sex scene where it starts and we assume he will try to rape her and then we watch and realize they are lovers, in love (and Aeryn is as always in charge, heee :P) and it basically screams at us - don’t go for easy defaults, look behind the assumptions.

Btw I love this show for allowing Aeryn romantic agency and history - she loved someone before John even if she was not ready to fully commit. And there is no jealousy in John, just a little wonder and just the fraughtness of discussing love with her.

Also - very true to the whole story that for Aeryn physical is easier than emotional and comes first (as Chiana points out to John in s3 because that girl gets relationships.) She is from a society where sex is easy and meaningless but emotions are terrifying and forbidden so of course. For her to admit that she loved Velorek shows how far she’s come; she’d have never been able to realize it in the peacekeepers (and the story of her mother in s3 shows how even people with capacity for love will eventually have it brutalized out of them so safest not to love, it’s self-preservation.)

Also, we see how far the characters have come from the pilot episode but also how far they have yet to go. Look at Zhaan here and yet less than a season later, she will give her life to bring Aeryn back, not just because of her love for John but because of Aeryn herself. (And also, the show is A+ for calling Zhaan out for hypocrisy but also the continuity was always so good!)

I could go on and on and on forever, but I’ll just mention two little things here. One is, I love the shot when Aeryn and John drop from the ceiling into Pilot’s den in unison. Two? The tag. First time I saw it, it killed me dead. When Aeryn and John are talking and she tells him that he reminded her of Velorek and he asks ‘And you say you loved that man?’ and they stare at each other and away with all the questions and answers they are afraid of saying, in their eyes. 

[of-stories-and-stardust]

Vicious and Vengeful Duology by V.E. Schwab

After finishing The Darker Shade of Magic series and longing for more of her work I decided to give this set a go. I have to say this is probably one of the most interesting stories based in on a super-hero/super-power premise I've read.

I should note here that as a reader, I tend to be very focused on characters and their development (or lack thereof). Yes, plot, worldbuilding, etc... are always important and a big part of any story. But for me the characters are always going to be the most important component of the story and I can forgive a lot of things in a tale if they are written well. That being said, the most notable thing in this whole story for me is the lack of a clear hero. It's a Super-Hero book with no actual "Hero" No black and white with regards to morals. No "Good Guy". Only various characters who operate in shades of shifting greys.

NOTE: I'm not going to re-hash the summary of the books on here - you could go look that up anywhere. I'm planning to focus my efforts on discussion/personal observation for this blog, although I intend to avoid spoilers whenever possible. Seems like a fine line, we'll see how it goes.

When we meet Victor and Eli we are shown right away that not only are these two intensely brilliant guys, but that both are just a little "off-kilter." Turns out being ambitious, competitive, not quite mentally balanced, and possibly a genius is a recipe for disaster in a world where developing "Extra Ordinary" (EO) powers is possible if you are brave (or reckless) enough to force yourself to have a near death experience (or really actually die for a second and then somehow come back).

From the start my brain was trying to balance the two, attempting to make assumptions about who to root for, even as it's clear thru Victor's overwhelming jealousy (and later, revenge) and Eli's weird self-righteousness that neither have moral high ground. So, it's an interesting exercise in where exactly to draw the line between intention, motivation, and actions.

The true characters of Victor and Eli are shown more thru their choice in companions. Mich is such fabulous character - I just love the use of the underrated smart but big guy who everyone assumes is a thug. And of course, Sarena, an EO who can convince anyone to do anything she asks (while possibly an overused character type) is always going to be a frighting ally for any villain to have. Add in to the mix Sydney, the betrayed little sister to Serena who can resurrect the dead (and the dog she resurrected), a recovering addict vet who can move outside of time, and a whole city of brainwashed police officers and it's quite a showdown.

The second book gives us more of Eli's backstory and a further understanding of his religious mission to rid the world of EO's (except himself of course) and also his intelligence and patience. Victor is burning thru potentially helpful EO's in a misguided (or maybe just poorly motivated) attempt to just stay alive. Also, we get the rise of a new team of characters under Marcela, a slighted mob wife (mostly) murdered by her husband. Also, the police stand where exactly in all of this (because they are a present entity here too)?

I found it a refreshing change that instead of a "Good vs Evil" face-off that we typically get especially in a super-hero story, we get a 3+ way tangled up mess of a climax where you aren't really sure who will end up with how much of what in the end.

[ahdriking]

you tend to write more porn but I've read some of your meta on the end of S1 so I'm really curious what your take would be on an AU where Porsche refuses to take the minor family ring 🤔

FAm DON't EVen GEt Me STarTED.

This Idea, This Concept, lives in my brain, haunting my every waking moment. WHAT IF. WHAT THE FUCK IF.

WHAT IF this show had paid more close attention to the continuity of Porsche's emotional arc and had given us a more conclusive ending that actually addresses all the ways in which Porsche LEADING THE MAFIA is counterintuitive to his character. You know, the man who had a minor breakdown over 'collecting the debt', an issue that's never addressed again (even if you read his character development as being a steady decline into moral ambiguity because of his growing relationship with Kinn, Porsche's attitude towards the mafia families has always been ambiguous at best and openly hostile at worst) WHAT IF Porsche had actually acknowledged the way in which his relationship and feelings for Kinn would always be tempered and limited by Kinn's devotion and sense of obligation to his family and his father? WHAT IF Porsche refused to settle for second, refused to lay down his life and dignity for Kinn for scraps in return, refused to succumb to Korn's obvious machinations?

WHAT THE FUCK IF.

I feel like the one major thing missing from Kinnporsche, for me, was the clear lines between family and Porsche that Kinn was never truly forced to draw. Yes, he went against his father's wishes by falling for Porsche and entering into a relationship with him, but he also defended his father, stood at his side and even in front of a gun for him when it mattered the most. Kinn's loyalty to his father was tapped at, niggled at, but never truly tested, not in any definitive way from which we can draw conclusions about whose side he would fall on if it ever came to it. Kinn gets to have his cake and eat it too: his family, his father's approval, AND Porsche.

What does Porsche get, though?

He gets to be manipulated, toyed with, used and controlled. He gets to have his mother back, but only because Korn needed the trump card to secure his loyalty. He gets to have Kinn, but only because Korn can better control them both by keeping them close. He gets to have power and autonomy, but only at the whims of Kinn and Korn's say so. He gets to have Chay at his side, at the cost of his little brother having lost everything, information which he never even learns about.

Porsche gains Kinn by taking the ring, but he loses everything else. So what if he had refused it?

Would he have lost Kinn?

The most interesting headcanon worth exploring to me, in this delightful little hole of woe, is Kinn being forced to choose. Porsche, or his family. Porsche, or his father. Porsche, or the mafia. I think Kinn is fucking lucky that Porsche never had any wants or expectations from him about how far his feelings for Porsche go compared to his obligations. Porsche seems very understanding and sympathetic to the position Kinn is in, which not everyone would be. Knowing that you'll always take a back seat, that you'll never truly outweigh the value of something else, is a heavy burden to carry. And for all intents and purposes, Kinn pushes that burden on Porsche. Their relationship is fraught with examples of Kinn exercising power and authority over Porsche, but never truly having to accede any to him. Even in the end, Porsche is head of the 'second' family, empowered and equalised only by Kinn's grace.

So what if Porsche said no, and made Kinn choose?

I want to see Kinn faced with losing everything he's ever known, or losing Porsche. I want to see Kinn confront the ways in which he's corrupted Porsche, made him into a man he would have hated for the sake of love, and ask himself whether it was worth it. I want to see Kinn suffer with the fact that his selfish need to have everything is going to be the thing that destroys it.

I honestly don't know how it would go down. I struggle to imagine Kinn abandoning his family or mafia ways, considering how deeply entrenched they are to his very being. I equally struggle to see how he would ever let Porsche just walk away. If Porsche doesn't accept the ring, the only thing Kinn can do is try and mitigate the fallout from Korn's machinations being uncovered, and try to convince Porsche to give him a second chance as leader. Perhaps if Kinn can facilitate a life for them away from the depths of the mafia, somewhere were Porsche can be separate to it all, maybe they could make it work. But they'd be apart practically all the time, and even when they are together, the looming threat of danger would never give them peace (Along with the hordes of bodyguards following them around).

There's no perfect solution. There's no easy answer. Either Porsche sacrifices everything, or Kinn does.

And isn't that angsty.

[kelpie-bael]

I'm working on my next Bael x Emperor piece and I really love exploring the dynamic of them after the events of the game. (This is assuming Tav did not become a mind flayer themselves)

I follow the thinking of many others where the Emperor is manipulating you very heavily, exaggerating what he feels, withholding information so you relate and depend on him. But also that he does care and wants to connect with Tav just in his detached Mind Flayer way.

So it's just really fun to have him interact with tav in a way that's really not as verbally or physically affectionate as in the game. Barely affectionate outwardly really, but showing interest in Tav by paying attention, listening, and letting them be as affectionate as they wish. Even if it's not often reciprocated.

And, Bael's case, Tav supporting his needs and goals. Helping with rebuilding the Knights of the Shield, keeping his identity hidden, and safeguarding their home. Occasionally letting him explore their mind, sharing the deeper connection he yearns for but also being very adamant about their boundaries when need be. Because they know what he is and how hard it must be to not enthrall them. An exercise not of distrust but of support.

Tav and Emperor both being neutral characters, not overly focused on morality yet still attempting to make Baldur's gate a better place. (Because I truly believe that's one of his goals. It's his city and he wants to protect it).

I just love this dynamic so much.

[seriousbrat]

i really can't fathom what the point is in sending me anons about how terrible james potter or severus snape are (it's so funny that I got both too like u guys are the same and u dont even know it) when I've said multiple times that i don't care that they were terrible and still love both lol. it's right there in my bio. I guess the intention is maybe to get me to feel bad about myself for liking characters that did bad things? I'm here to tell you that a) it will never work and b) that is literally soooo stupid get a hobby

I also think... life will just become simpler if you stop trying to wage moral war with people over fictional characters like it's a matter of life or death and accept that you too can like characters even though they are terrible people. (or here's a radical thought... BECAUSE of it)

fictional characters aren't supposed to be standards of moral purity, they're supposed to be complex and grey because they're vehicles for exploring different aspects of human nature. you're supposed to like them because they're interesting. and actually being able to empathise with characters who have done bad things is good, it's an exercise in understanding ourselves and our fellow human beings. you don't need to 'excuse' anything to do that. they aren't real.

[jaceastrology]

The Sun In Houses

House 1: The Sun's House

-A natural born leader

-Bold Speaker

-Self centered and focused on self improvement

-Fiery temper as the Sun's ruler is Leo

-Proud even at the cost of hurting, or stabbing others to get ahead

-Passionate

-Lazy at the belief that you're so good you don't have to try

House 2: The House of Speaking

-Often people with this have a family member of great power. It is passed down. Family Oriented.

-Light illuminates your voice. Aiding in natural skill in speaking.

-Your words move people and lead them on a path of your making

-Your words can have a warmth and affection that convince those around you that you care for them. Your allies know that you have their back.

-It is easy to pursuade people to do your biding. Whether you mean well can be determined by other aspects/placements.

-The Ego will lead to difficulty seeing others points of view, disrupting your entire family life even in-laws

House 3: The House of Mind

-This person is greatly influenced by their environment. And easily swayed by others opinions.

-Needs to be the focus, or can suffer in a siblings shadow

-Take pride in their intelligence often pursue education a very long time

-Trips to faraway places, interest in the culture/understanding of others

-A desire to understand the way others think

-Often negative and unpredictable

-Trouble understanding others emotions

-Gifted in foreign language, spoke earlier

-Strives to be loved by family and friends

House 4: The House of Home

-These people embody the Cancerian energy

-Crave a domestic life, where they care for the home and have security

-The type of home they want depends on other aspects/placements

-Often traditional and want to carry on the family morals

-Happiness is their ultimate goal and they want comfort, safety

-Like Cancers they often feel insecure and are prone to worry. This is why they seek a safe shell to hide away in.

-Great improvement can be found by trusting in their self

-The love around you determines the faith you have in yourself

-Slow to success, slow to beauty, heart first success later

-Sacrifice for the ones they love

House 5: Creativity and self-expression/House of Pleasure

**Purpose in Life

-Artists often have this house

-People with Uranus influence will be wild and spontaneous, wanting to break free from the reigns of life

-Depending on the sign in this house, the person can have vitality, the ability to be young forever. Both looking young and having energy that lasts many years.

-They have youthful joy and seem to never grow old, a character representing this energy is Loki, the God of mischief. Who no matter how old he grows seems to be full of child-like playfulness.

-Message. Be who you are. Follow your heart. That's your path in life.

-The sign of this placement tells sexuality of the person

-You live life with color and passion, falling in love comes easy

-You want to experience all the beauty in the world

House 6: A Helping Hand

-This person lives a life of service to others

-Loving to be appreciated for who they are and what they do for others

-Cares about their health, often dieting and exercising. Career in wellness.

-Cannot be convinced to do another career, independent and self-assured

-Care to much about what others think of their efforts, easy to feel stressed/bad about themselves when not appreciated

-Position of authority, and careers where creation with their own two hands is needed

-High standards as a boss, perfectionism

-Workaholic

-Want to make the world a better place

-Obsessed with their image, must always appear well-kept

House 7: Commitment, Slow and Steady

-Highly confident

-Great professional partnership

-Ruled by Libra, this person is harmonious

-Feels fulfilled with connections to people and things (career)

-Seeks to bring others together even in times of conflict and darkness. A shining light of hope.

-Can persuade anyone

-House far away from the ascendant. Who you really are and who you appear to be are different. People misunderstand you and don't truly know you until they get close.

-Careers best suited to: Diplomats, Public Figures and Psychologists

-Luck in court if not afflicted. Life is fair to you. Good Karma.

-You tolerate much in the name of peace. Often leading to someone having power over you. The care you put in someone's expectations can make you lose yourself. Be careful of peer pressure.

-Indecisive, you never want to give up on what could've been

-You try to make everyone happy even at the cost of your own sanity. This is not your responsibility, let yourself be free of this burden.

-Choose a partner who empowers you, bcuz how they feel and their opinions sway you easily

House 8: Popularity

-You can make anything popular

-Underdogs do well in this placement, rising up the ranks quickly and unexpectedly

-A transformative placement as it is ruled by Scorpio. You delve deep into your psyche and those of others.

-The house governs shared resources. Your wealth is determined by the partnerships you make.

-Drawn to Scorpion interests such as astrology, tarot and the occult.

-You crave authenticity and deep emotional bonds. You are not satisfied by the superficial, or flings.

-You can read others like an open book

House 9: What Is The Truth?

-Forsee the future

-Life is an adventure and quest

-You search for the truth, by analyzing everything you come across

-It is hard to believe in anything as life is often changing and there are many perspectives. But, this person is not conflicted, just a chameleon of sorts.

-Blind faith is not in this person's house of cards, they must see it, or know it's truth to believe it

-The path to belief in a higher power, God and religion is a very hard one for this sun placement. As no one can see God. But, it's evidence of power is all around us. What is your truth?

-The eternal student

-High levels of education

House 10: The Arena, Public & Professional

-Life is but a series of ways to get ahead

-Drawn to successful people to further your reputation

-You must be efficient and successful at all your goals, while having the best reputation

-This placement may prove stressful, as perfectionism runs rampant

-Depending on the sign this will be a great struggle, or come naturally to you

-Career you are most suited for, and your qualities that people admire in this house

-Responsibility at a young age, or early rise to power

-Accountability for themselves and encourage it in others

House 11: Aquarian Energy, Hopes & Wishes

-A bond of intellect among friends. Your friends help you accomplish your wishes and move steadfast towards hope. Your greatest asset is other people.

-You like to share your knowledge of the world and leave a lasting impact

-Cold and distant from emotions, logic is your preference

-Belief in equality and the need to hear everyone out no matter where they come from

House 12: The Subconscious Pisces

-An invisibility cloak covers your sun sign. You can hide your true self from others and needs. This may lead to your success not being appreciated.

-Distance from others and the need to retreat to your own safe space

-It may be more fullfuling to you, to spend time invested in the things we can't see, than reality

-A daydreamer, you walk between worlds. Seeing what others can't.

-Often a major recluse, who daydreams, spaces out, and always has their mind elsewhere

-Creative pursuits are a great release for all the pent up energy

-You love to be seen and recognized for who you are, but spend your life hiding from the world

-Bad Karma. You misused your power in the past and now must live your life being hard on yourself. In the hopes that you will become a better person than you were before. *Past lives

-You must retreat from the stress of trying to make others understand you. Or, do you even want them to?

[imustbenuts]

i think the theme of agency in fire emblem awakening is fascinating to examine. both like in game and meta. and also kiran.

we have grima, a creature who wasn't given much agency and never realized they actually had any despite being reborn time and time again. each time they were needed it's because some extremist wanted their power to smite another party, not so much that grima was ever valued as, idk, a person.

and that extremist and the cult around grima are attached to an idea of grima. feeding grima both the ritual tools and the justification of their existence externally. "its the world that wants me to be evil" is both telling and and an indicator of how pathetic their willpower is.

(although granted, having enough experience of being knocked on one's ass will sap away determination fast.)

contrast with robin who was given the amnesia zap and then had the opposite happen. not force fed a a justification for existence externally, but having to internalize their own justification, needs and want. encountering people and events certainly would feed into this internal reflection. the environment is not a strings-attached transactional one.

and at the ending of awakening theres a mini thing of, now that robin has gotten their Self from internalization, do they let chrom take their agency away again, and inevitably let the agency cycle repeat itself? or does robin decide to exercise that agency and pull off the ultimate sacrifice bc they feel so strongly about the future of their friends and even a world they might just finally start to like a little?

and yet at the same time, ironically, robin is a character of a video game. the choices made are railroaded by the devs and then exercised by the player. we players are always playing something akin to an illusion of choice, there the ultimate choice is really no choice at all. there is an agreed upon satisfying ending and a unsatisfying ending, ie good and bad ending.

so under this meta lens, the choice robin enacts is the choice of a 3rd party outside of the universe.

ironic

and then the same agency issue seems to be happening again in heroes. the summoner, kiran, is grima's complete opposite.

just like grima, they already have a legendary almost mythical lore attached to them, that being the prophesied great hero (of all time) who will be shot out of breidablik and just help the realm.

that and their inability to fight means they always must rely on the guys who summoned them and are now willing to take care of them in exchange for their power. a transactional one. the way they learn of the world and its politics is also biased towards the order of heroes, that being pro-Askr. their entire existence is externally justified from the moment they touch the ground -- thats the only reason why they currently exist in the world of heroes.

if there was no war, they arent needed. if there was nothing to attack, then just like grima, they arent needed.

but the lucky thing for kiran is that askr just happens to be justified and the morally correct. that askr isnt interested in abusing and conquering. that alfonse just wants some peace so he can chill on a beach or something.

but ironically again, there is a 3rd party here railroading the entirety of FEH's time and events aside from the game devs. alfador. kiran essentially doesnt really truly have a choice other than to stick to alfonse and hope things pan out.

so grima is evil bc the world deems them evil and wants them to be evil. the people would call them bringer of despair.

and kiran is good bc the world deems them good and wants them to be good. the people would call them bringer of hope

its deliciously ironic and hopelessly wonderful.

[ridethelightning-commentary]

House Commentary | S02E01 "Acceptance"

Welcome people, we are hot off the drama of Season 1 and we are "Doin It". House Season 2 starts by very subtly sneaking LL Cool J into the opening credits which immediately piqued my interest. It then cuts to Clarence (LL Cool J) playing pretend basketball in the exercise yard which has a basketball hoop...but no basketball. LL Cool J goes into cardiac arrest after hallucinating the people that he killed. This episode also features another patient, Cindy, a young woman with a cough who may have cancer. This brings up a question which both the doctors and viewers wrestle with throughout the episode: Does medical treatment know a person's character? Is it moral to focus give more medical attention to a "good" person than a "(I'm) bad" person? As is House's way, he tells Dr. Cameron that Cindy should take a Back Seat to Clarence, which baffles her. In the end, it is revealed that Clarence had a tumor which secreted adrenaline into his body which likely led to at least one of his four killings. Dr. Wilson and Dr. Cameron, who has become a friend to Cindy over the course of the episode, discover that Cindy indeed has terminal cancer.

As this episode began I had a lot of random thoughts. Firstly everyone seems more blonde this season. Even Foreman and Cuddy. I can't really explain it, its just an energy. A "Phenomenon" if you will. You also miss out on great moments like "House [as Scooby-Doo]: Ruh-Roh" I also made a note that Dr. House referring calling Dr. Cameron a hopeful child is exactly what is wrong with the fact that the show was trying to set them up in season one and maybe still is? The two have way to much of a mentor/mentee relationship in my opinion, and although I really like Dr. Cameron and House's characters on their own...setting them up just isn't working for me. I guess I'm just "That Type of Guy." Throughout the whole episode, Dr. Foreman and Clarence are at odds, since Foreman doesn't believe Clarence can use "the system" as an excuse for his actions since he turned out differently. However, it is revealed that Clarence practically his little brother for 16 years, and Clarence defends him when Foreman baselessly assumes that Clarence's brother must be just like him. Clarence then says the first standout quote of the episode to me: "Can you imagine your whole life being about the worst thing you ever did?". This seems to affect Foreman, who does a complete 180 by the end of the episode and decides to testify on behalf of Clarence when he finds the tumor. My other favorite moment in this episode is between Wilson and Cameron. Wilson discovers that Cameron hasn't told Cindy about her diagnosis yet and warns her that it isn't worth it to befriend cancer patients, he tells her that she may not be the same for years. Cameron fires back by explaining that if she hadn't married her terminal husband, he would have died alone. She ends her dialogue by saying: "When a good person dies, there should be an impact on the world. Somebody should notice. Somebody should be upset.". So far, this is my favorite quote of the entire show. In the hierarchy of this show, it seems House is on top, Wilson is a step below, and all of the other doctors are under those two. Most of the time, House and Wilson are right about the diagnosis, and the other doctors learn a lesson. This dialogue injects some nuance into this trope. Wilson and House are right about Cindy's cancer diagnosis from the start. In this dialogue, however, the moral tables turn and Cameron comes out on top. Throughout this episode I found it ridiculous that Dr. House wouldn't even consider running a few tests on Cindy. Cameron had to beg for her to get equal treatment as Clarence (House kept telling her to "Hush"). I just figured this was House being House, and that in the end it would be revealed that he was right. However, I believe this dialogue tells us that for the first time, the way Dr. House treated Cindy was not right. House subverts social expectations by focusing more medical attention on the patient who the audience sees as a "bad" person, which ends up being the right call since they discover the adrenaline tumor. However, they completely ignore and borderline refuse to treat Cindy, who is struggling through her sickness alone with Dr. Cameron as her only friend (But hey...Dr. Cameron will always "Love U Better"). Dr. Cameron recognizes that this is unjust. For her, the medical field isn't just about treating patients. It is her way of being involved with the order of the world. People live, die and go to "Paradise" under her care and she takes over the responsibility of making sure that the way these patients live and die has some affect on the world, even if they only affect her. This leads to her statement, which sums up her entire character in my eyes "When a good person dies, there should be an impact on the world. Somebody should notice. Somebody should be upset". At the beginning of this episode I made a note: "I really like Dr. Cameron". I guess now I see why.

This episode ends with Jeff Buckley's "Hallelujah" as Clarence is sent back to prison and Cindy learns of her diagnosis and the threads of the question entangling this episode start to knot. You realize, no matter what, "good" person or "bad" person or somewhere in between, both of these patients are sentenced to die and you realize that this episode was really never about either of the patients. In this episode, Dr. Foreman and Dr. Cameron experience pretty major tests to their ideas. Dr. Cameron stands strong in that same responsibility which told her to marry a sick guy when she was just 21, the responsibility that when a good person falls into her care, it is her job to make sure that that person leaves the impact on the world that they deserve, even if it's through her. Dr. Foreman, whose initial idea that Clarence is a "bad person" is tested throughout this episode, comes to find that although he turned out very different from Clarence, the two had similar beginnings and that he was too quick to judge. Dr. House, as always, falls in a gray area at the end of the episode. He calls Foreman a hypocrite for the way he initially thought about Clarence, but then says that just because Clarence had a tumor, it doesn't absolve him of responsibility for the people he killed. Foreman says that he will testify at Clarence's appeal anyway, despite what House says. House concedes, "You'll do what you think is right", which really sums up the direction I think this show is going in. The doctors are becoming more independent, less ok with just "Loungin" and letting House make all the calls. At the same time, the cracks in House's character are starting to form. In the final shot of the show, House erases words from a board that has the 5 stages of grief on it, leaving behind only "Acceptance", which he erases too. I think this ending is meant to be a little ambiguous. Maybe House is accepting the fact that it is pointless to try to win Stacy back, or maybe he's accepting the fact that his leg won't get better. I don't know, but maybe someday "U will know".

Well it hurt to get up off the couch and go to the next episode after this one. I can't even imagine watching this week by week at the time that it aired. My greatest friend @hesaidgirlyoubetterhavefun told me that House only gets better after Season 1 and so far, yup. But maybe that was just because of LL Cool J.

See you "Around the Way, Girl", Bonafide Commentary

While writing this a spider crawled on my face

On LiveJournal script for this episode says Hallelujah is one of the most overplayed songs in the media. Owch.

When I looked for the link to Hallelujah on youtube, a link to World's Most Annoying Songs by FactyMusic came up as the first result