#this was part of a collab on instagram so go follow the other amazing artists tagged in my post on there if you please!

[harmoniouseclipse]

Merry Christmas and happy new year!

[mixedstyles]

Instagram Blurb - As Long as You Are Series

Author’s Note: This is a longer Instagram blurb, and some of the comments actually matter! It goes to Part 4/5 of THIS series, but can be read on its own! Might make a bit more sense with an understanding of the story, but I don’t think it’ll interfere too much with your experience!

ALaYA Masterlist | Main Masterlist | send me things!

Instagram stories, night of June 18

8,562 likes

DailyStylesNews Harry and Mitch were spotted at y/n’s concert last night in Brooklyn

View all 236 comments

fannewsdaily guess I need to go to one of her shows so I can meet Harry 🤪🤪

↳ harrystyles Not sure why this was in my recommendations, but please don’t go to y/n’s show just because I might be there. Go because she’s an amazing artist and performer.

↳ y/nprotector NOT HARRY DROPPING IN ON A FAN PAGE TO DEFEND Y/N

↳ fan34 @y/nprotector looks like you’re gonna need to change your user because Harry’s stolen that title from you 💀

harryyystyles why would he stay extra days instead of going back to the UK to prepare for the next ONO?? AMERICA, EXPLAIN

━━━━

Instagram post, early afternoon, June 19

Liked by harrystyles, conangray and others

areyoulistening I know I already posted, but last night was insane!! Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone who came!

View all 342 comments

conangray your mother sent me and Olivia videos 🥹she was very proud. (and so are we)

↳ areyoulistening are you telling me my mom has a group chat with you and Liv??

↳ oliviarodrigo Yes.

fan01 sis spill the tea. are you friends with Harry Styles??

↳ areyoulistening there is no tea to be spilled, but we’re more acquaintances than friends!

↳ fan01 AHDSHHF she responded

↳ harryshome GIRL he was literally at your concert

━━━━

Spotted: late afternoon, June 19

6,541 likes

DailyStylesNews Harry was seen in NYC today leaving the gym.

harryobsessed Isn’t that the same sweatshirt y/n was wearing the other day in one of her YouTube videos?

↳ harryschild HDJSJSHFD IT IS WTF IS HAPPENING

harryfan3 y’all, it’s literally her merch. it’s not that big.

fan4 He’s not even following her 😭😩

↳ harryshome Maybe they’re trying to keep it on the DL?

↳ fan5 He’s literally wearing her merch. Idk if that’s on the “down low”

↳ fan4 I JUST CHECKED AGAIN HE’S FINALLY FOLLOWING HER AGEHFHSHUSD AND SO IS MITCH

harryfan7 I hope you guys know that this isn’t a big deal. If you’ve ever actually paid attention you’d realize he has so much merch i- 🙄

━━━━

Instagram story, evening, June 19

8,162 likes

DailyStylesNews Harry’s Instagram story from today 

View all 125 comments

harryshome omg a story that isn’t a tour photo repost. he’s learning

↳ harryfan03 he needs to learn how to change the background color next. that tan is not it. 🥴

↳ harryswhore Leave the old man alone 😭

fan03 who’s the girl?

↳ fannewsdaily kinda looks like y/n

↳ y/nisthebest that’s what I’m saying 👀

rulistening Are we getting a collab?????

↳ y/nfan I would shit myself if we did

↳ rulistening please don’t. I’m begging you

━━━━

Instagram story, evening, June 19

587 likes

Y/NUpdates y/n posted this on her Instagram story tonight! Looks like her and Harry are hanging out, thoughts?

alayafan stop. i feel like this is the most harry has ever been active?? or at least recently

atla09 CAN WE ALL ACKNOWLEDGE SHE CALLED HIM CABBAGE MAN IN FRENCH

09fan02 I believe “mon petite chouchou” is a French term of endearment. It means like sweetheart if I remember correctly

mixedstyles NOT THE CABBAGE MAN 💀💀💀 Y/N is an icon for that

touroflove Sokka??

↳ fann Y/N is Suki and Harry is Sokka??? 🥺🥺

━━━━

Spotted: 1:27 A.M., June 20

6,458 likes

DailyStylesNews a fan saw Harry at a 24/7 bodega in Manhattan late last night

View all 103 comments

loveontourr LEAVE THE MAN ALONE. LET HIM BUY HIS HOAGIE IN PEACE

nycfannn hi! I was the one who saw him. I saw y/n with him and heard her talking to the owner but I didn’t want to be creepy and take a picture of her too 😭 it was already weird taking a photo of him

↳ hsfan2001 Y/N WAS THERE TOO???

↳ y/nfan04 is it bad that we recently found out they even know each other and my ship has already sailed??? 😩🫣

↳ nycfannn @hsfan2001 She was! I was behind them in line. They were joking around and talking to Tony (the owner). I tried not to listen to their conversation but I’m so nosy 😭😭 y/n said something about they got distracted and didn’t realize the time??? I don’t want to be weird but they did seem pretty close!!

thisisafamilyshow On a different post I saw someone wondering why he's still in New York even though he has a show in like two days. He always leaves like, the morning after a show to travel to the next venue. Two extra days is a lot comparatively

↳ 1989hs I'm so curious as to what's going on. Like... I don't want to speculate but my little fan brain is doing the most

↳ thisisafamilyshow exactly! I may or may not be actively keeping up with harry pages to see what's going on. Trying to put together the puzzle pieces. I'm not expecting much, and frankly I don't really care, it's just so entertaining. wtf is wrong with me 😭

↳ 1989hs girl, we're all keeping up-to-date with harry you're not alone. we're all a little weird here 😭🤍

━━━━

Instagram story, afternoon, June 20

11,862 likes

DailyStylesNews a music student at NYU (auden.png) saw some people talking to Harry outside of a school building

View all 238 comments

harrysarms This bitch (harry) is everywhere near nyu

↳ y/nfan5 well nyu is basically all of New York so i’m not really surprised

↳ harrysarms it’s always the music buildings though

↳ y/nfan5 he could literally just be making music. it doesn’t have to be anything more

numberonefan Is it just me or does that look like @areyoulistening on the far right behind the person in black?

↳ areyoulistening you're right, it do be me

↳ numberonefan Y/N! wtf are you doing here??

↳ areyoulistening lurking 😈 jk it came up on my for you page? probably because it's AUDEN'S photo

↳ areyoulistening i'm looking at you @auden.png

↳ auden.png I had no clue they would find the photo 😭🤍😭 ilyyy @areyoulistening

↳ areyoulistening i'm giving you more theory homework the next time i see you 😤 @auden.png (ily too)

DailyStylesNews not y/n and her friend having a conversation in my comment section 🤪

━━━━

Spotted: late afternoon, June 20

5,437 likes

DailyStylesNews Harry was seen grabbing drinks before heading into the NYU Steinhardt building in Greenwich Village for the second day in a row.

View all 87 comments

fan4 you guys know who goes there? 👀

↳ harryismylife y/n 🐸☕️

alaya01 did he buy her a drink too? 🥺

↳ y/nfandom it’s literally a drink 😭😭

↳ alaya01 i can pretend it’s something more

━━━━

tag list: @theekyliepage @tati813 @reveriehs @thomaslefteyebrow @mxltifxnd0m (let me know if you’d like to be added or removed!)

[reifromrfa]

Surprises: Vanderwood x MC | Mysme RBB fic

Hi guys! I’m sure you’ve seen this project in the fandom, there are a lot of talented artists and writers who are a part of it ^^ This piece is for the @mysme-rbb and it was such a thrill to write it! I’ve missed writing for the fandom and I’m glad I got this opportunity to do so <3 Even luckier that I got paired with two amazing artists! 

For this first collab, I got paired with the wonderful GLX ! Please check out their instagram HERE!  We’re super lucky to have collaborated on a character we both love: Vanderwood! So I hope you enjoy the story and I hope I can write for everyone again soon ヾ(@^▽^@)ノ PS: I’ll edit this post with the link to the art once it’s out! ^^

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Surprises

In collaboration with gl.artsy 

"Hurry!"

Vanderwood chuckles and closes the car door, hoisting bags and baskets on his arms and shoulders. MC laughs and hugs the beach towels to her chest, grinning widely.

"Sorry...I'm a little excited," her grin turns sheepish but Vanderwood shakes his head, his smile mirroring her own. Seeing her this happy makes him feel things he hasn't felt before --pleasant feelings. Feelings...that a secret agent just doesn't have the luxury to be thinking about, much less feel. But he's not a secret agent anymore --he has a legal job now, one where he doesn't have to risk his life everyday or dirty his hands. Hell, the dirtiest his hands can get with his new job as Jumin's bodyguard is cleaning up after his cat.

With his free hand, he reaches for hers and weaves their fingers together.

Today is their one-year anniversary and Vanderwood wants everything to be absolutely perfect. He's not one for grand gestures and romantic stuff, but he knows celebrations like these matter to girls.

In the past year he's been with MC, he's gotten used to watching those cheesy romantic chick flicks. Never in his life did he imagine he'd be forced to watch those kinds of shi--stuff. But he's braved through The Notepad, A Stroll to Remember, Crazy Silly Love...and he's learned a lot from those movies. For one, his girlfriend ends up crying every time they watch the shows together.

Every. Single. Time.

But he'd see how immersed she is in the scenes where the guys make a big move for the girl. Vanderwood would notice how she heaves a deep sigh and wipes her eyes, a dreamy smile on her face.

Ha...he's new to this relationship thing but he's not stupid; Vanderwood knows how this works. The bigger the gesture, the happier MC will be...

...right?

He's startled out of his thoughts when MC tugs his hand, pointing at a spot on the beach. "Over there! There's a free spot there!"

Vanderwood follows after MC and starts setting up their towels and beach umbrella. This is the first step in his grand surprise for MC today: spend the morning at the beach, a place MC rarely went to. The excited look on her face is all the confirmation he needs; he did good, choosing this as the start of their date.

MC sits on the towel under the shade of the umbrella and takes off her wide-brimmed hat, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. When she opens them, she turns to Vanderwood. "Baby, this is perfect. The skies are clear, there's a breeze and there's not much people; it's almost like we have the beach to ourselves!"

Vanderwood chuckles, sitting beside his girlfriend and reaching out to tuck her hair behind her ear. "You like it?"

At his touch, she blushes and smiles, nodding her head. "I do, Vanderwood. I really do."

He leans forward, lips quirking up into a smirk. "Good...that's real good, MC." Vanderwood can see the blush on her face deepening as he inches closer and his own heart races, eyes darting to her slightly-parted lips. As he draws nearer though, he hears a whooshing sound through the air and a distant yell: "LOOK OUT!"

His reflexes kick in and Vanderwood pulls MC against his chest then pins her against the ground, using his body to shield her from whatever it is --MC doesn't even have the time to process what's happening. But she feels herself warming, eyes fixated on Vanderwood's tense expression, at the way he's hovering on top of her, holding her protectively against him.

A second later, their umbrella is knocked over and a spray of sand flies across Vanderwood's back. He turns away and shields MC's eyes, a million thoughts already flying through his mind.

"Could it be that some agents found me? How many are there? How am I gonna get MC safely to the car? The taser's in the bag, if I could just reach it in time

"Vanderwood turns his head to look for the target-

-when his eyes fall to the white volleyball lying on the sand near them.

"Sorry! I'm so sorry, that's my fault!!!" A kid with blonde hair is running up to them, waving his hand and trying to bow at the same time. Vanderwood's eyes narrow. Wait a minute...isn't that-

"Yoosung?" comes MC's voice.

Sure enough, Yoosung's purple eyes widen as recognition dawns and he laughs, running faster. Right behind him is the silver-haired actor and Jaehee Kang, all dressed in their beachwear. Zen smiles when he spots the two familiar faces but it only lasts for a second --the moment he realizes the position the couple are in...

"YA!!! Vanderwood! What are you doing!" Zen glares at Vanderwood, pointing an accusatory finger at the Silver Spoon's bodyguard. Vanderwood narrows his gaze at the actor but hurriedly straightens himself, his face feeling warm.

"Baby, are you okay?"

"I am...what was that all about?" MC takes Vanderwood's hand and he pulls her up just as Yoosung stops in front of them, a sheepish smile on his face.

"Sorry! Zen hit the ball too hard and I received it wrong so it went flying...I didn't know it would end up here where you guys are! I didn't even know you two were going to be here too!"

Vanderwood rubs the back of his neck, wishing they'd leave him and MC alone. It's not that he doesn't like them, but today he'd like MC all for himself. "Ha...yeah, what a coincidence."

"Ya, you!" Zen jabs a finger at Vanderwood's chest, eyes blazing. "What the heck was that!"

Vanderwood looks at Zen with a deadpan look on his face. "I thought there was a threat, so I was defending my girlfriend. Will you stop having perverted thoughts?"

MC giggles. "It's true, Zen! He was just trying to protect me~"

"That's very quick thinking." Jaehee pipes in, picking up the ball. "I suppose that's what makes you a great bodyguard, Vanderwood."

"Ha...thanks." Vanderwood feels awkward still, but for an ex-agent with no family and no friends...his life's shaping out real good. Still, friends or not, he wants these people to go away and let him pamper his girlfriend. "So, now that that's settled-"

"OH! Why don't you two join us in a game of volleyball? Please!!! I'm tired of picking up the ball all the time!" Yoosung begs them, hands pressed together in front of him.

"Aww, that sounds fun! We're game, right, baby?" MC says, winking at Vanderwood. To the others, she says, "The two of us will be in a team against you guys! You'll see, Vanderwood will carry our team!"

Vanderwood can't help but feel proud at MC's words. Okay...maybe one game of volleyball wouldn't hurt. After that, they'll go back to their spot and maybe he can go swimming with MC, or get some cool drinks.

~

Yoosung, Jaehee and Zen stayed with them the entire time. After volleyball, they took MC and Vanderwood to their rented cabin and shared their meal. Vanderwood and Zen ended up grilling meat and seafood for the rest but it was actually fun. The non-stop chatter and laughs, the volleyball games, seeing MC enjoy herself --okay okay, it's not so bad that their first date got interrupted. But of course, Vanderwood has more tricks up his sleeves.

A long drive and a shower later, Vanderwood and MC change into more semi-formal attire as he drives them to one of the fancy restaurants in town. The restaurant is situated atop a building, with the entire floor encased in glass windows so guests can dine with a view overlooking South Korea. It's fine dining and Vanderwood has never been to a classy restaurant while off-duty; to be honest, something like this kinda suits Jumin Han more...but Vanderwood doesn't want to take MC to their regular dining spots. No, for this special day she deserves something special too.

As they're led to their seats by the hostess, Vanderwood once again intertwines his fingers with hers. "I heard this place has the best seoullangtang."

MC tugs at his hand, looking at him with narrowed eyes. "Baby, this place is really expensive...you didn't have to."

Ha...oh no, doesn't she like it?

"It's our anniversary," he tells her, lifting their hands and then turning hers so he can kiss the back of it. "Don't even think about that, baby."

MC turns red at Vanderwood's blatant display of affection. Usually, he's more reserved and careful when they're in public; she assumed it's because of his past and she didn't mind. But today, he's been more touchy and showy...MC has to admit, it's giving her heart a pleasant workout. They're seated right by the window and Vanderwood is the perfect gentleman, pulling her chair out for her and helping her onto her seat. MC feels shy all of a sudden as Vanderwood slides into his seat across her. With the dim lighting from the restaurant, the candle in the middle of the table casts Vanderwood's face in a warm glow and MC unconsciously swallows, entranced by him.

Their previous dates were never this fancy and she's not complaining --she loves wherever they are, be it the beach or the supermarket, a fancy restaurant or McFonald's. As long as they're together, she's happy.

But seeing her boyfriend all dressed up in a crisp button-down shirt and a coat, hair tied into a half-ponytail, brown eyes staring at her --she can't help but feel the depth and seriousness of their relationship. Today is their anniversary, which means she's spent 365 days with this man...more than that, of course. Ever since they met, her days have been full of color and life. MC reaches across the table for his hand and holds it tightly in hers.

"I love you, Vanderwood."

Vanderwood's glad it's kinda dark because his heart does that weird little thing and he feels his cheeks burn as a smile spreads across his face. "I love you too, MC."

She mirrors his smile and it's strange but MC feels like she did the first time she met him in person, nervous and intimidated, but at the same comforted by his presence and intrigued. This once mysterious man is hers and though she knows she's barely scratched the surface of all that he is, she can't wait to learn more about him everyday, for the rest of their lives.

"Baby, order whatever you like, okay? Haha, don't be worrying about the prices." Vanderwood says as they open their menus. MC's eyes are skimming through the dishes (half of which she can't even pronounce because they're in different languages) when she hears the sound of a familiar voice.

"I didn't expect to see you both here this evening."

Vanderwood tenses. No freaking way...

But he's been hanging around that voice for months now and he'd recognize it anywhere --his boss, Jumin Han. Vanderwood reluctantly looks at the man standing beside their table, the leader of the RFA at his side. Jihyun at least looks apologetic for barging into their date.

"Jumin! Jihyun! What a coincidence!" MC exclaims happily, smiling at them. Truth be told, she was looking forward to spending more alone time with her boyfriend, but she also doesn't want to be rude to her friends. "Did you guys just arrive?"

"Yes. A business colleague recommended this place. I would have asked for a private room but Jihyun preferred to stay close to the windows."

Jihyun laughs good-naturedly at Jumin's words. "This place is popular for their stunning view of the city, after all. We should get going to our table, Jumin, let's not bother them..."

"Have a good time, boss, Jihyun." Vanderwood gives them a little wave. "Nonsense. We haven't seen MC in a while. Perhaps we should ask for a bigger table and dine together."

You've got to be kidding me.

"Jumin-" Jihyun tries to interrupt, but Jumin is already gesturing for the host. In mere minutes, Vanderwood and MC are seated with Jihyun and Jumin. Of course...it's not all that bad. He didn't have to be so formal with his boss since they're outside of work, and Jumin knew his way around the menu; the meal Jumin ordered for them was mouth-wateringly delicious. Vanderwood had no idea which ones were good, so he's grateful for that part, at least.

But seriously...this was starting to get annoying. Would the RFA be popping up at his planned dates with MC? Vanderwood represses a sigh though, and fights the itch for a cigarette.

They enjoy their meal and, realizing he has no choice but to endure it, Vanderwood relaxes and allows himself to enjoy the company.

All of a sudden, they're bathed in a hue of colors and MC's eyes turn to the windows, widening with surprise. The sky is lit up by fireworks --something Vanderwood had arranged for. Her eyes are bright and her smile is priceless. As the fireworks paint the night sky with streaks of brilliant color, MC feels a peace inside her, knowing that's exactly what she was thinking of moments before. Vanderwood is like the scene outside, illuminating her life with the most dazzling colors.

And while MC gazes at the beautiful display, Vanderwood stares, enchanted, at the woman who brought light to his life.

~

The last stop of the evening is the last showing of the latest romance movie, a movie MC has been waiting for. Vanderwood settles into their comfortable lazy boy couches, glad he paid for these seats.

"I'm so excited, I've heard a lot of good reviews already!" MC whispers to him, leaning close. Vanderwood chuckles.

"Baby, it's gonna be amazing." He leans closer to her, stealing a quick kiss in the dark theater. MC bites her lower lip as he pulls away, wanting to tell him how much she loves him. But the movie starts and MC has to stop herself from squealing in excitement. She keeps her hand locked with his, eyes focused on the screen.

Vanderwood feels relaxed now, knowing no one can interrupt them, knowing he can enjoy this moment with his girlfriend and sneak glances at her cute reactions.

But just thinking those thoughts has jinxed the situation. The doors to the cinema creak open and Vanderwood picks up the sound of popcorn bags and two hushed whispers. He glances at the empty seats beside him and sighs.

"Oh! If it isn't Mary and MC!"

Vanderwood curses inwardly and almost slaps his hand to his face. No. No freaking way. No damn way.

But after some shuffling sounds, Saeyoung plops down on the seat beside Vanderwood with Saeran occupying the other.

"Ohoho, I didn't know you were into romance movies, Vandy~" Saeyoung whispers before leaning forward in his seat and waving at MC. "Hi, MC! Thanks for restarting this guy's heart! If you ask me, you should have used a tase-"

"Ya! Shut up!" Vanderwood says, a little too loudly. The audience shushes him and Vanderwood slinks into his seat while Saeyoung covers his laughs with a hand.

For the duration of the movie, Vanderwood has to put up with Saeyoung's reactions and his hushed side comments. At some point, popcorn starts to fly towards the brown-haired man too, bouncing off his hair. Saeran shakes his head, heaving a sigh as Saeyoung takes another popcorn and throws it subtly to Vanderwood. The ex-agent was ready though; he catches the popcorn and throws it back to Saeyoung, who slides down his chair dramatically.

"I've been hit...Saeran ah, save yourself~~~"

Vanderwood glances at MC's face to watch her reaction and he's surprised to see her eyes fixed on him. She's biting her lower lip, trying to stop herself from laughing. Vanderwood smirks, reaching out and freeing her lower lip from her bite.

"You want a shot at the idiot?" Vanderwood murmurs near her ear. MC nods and takes a piece of popcorn then tosses it to Saeyoung, who's crawling up his chair as quiet as he can.

Saeyoung gasps and flops back down on the ground, holding his chest as though he's wounded.

"Sneak attack! Saeran, help m-"

"No."

"Okay no ;;;;"

~

Vanderwood stirs, stretching his arms above his head with a yawn.

Damn, what time is it?

Yesterday felt so long --with all that happened, Vanderwood feels exhausted and a little disappointed at himself for failing MC. Everything should have been perfect, but as luck would have it, the RFA just had to meddle in all his plans.

He lays in bed, blinking away his sleepiness, wondering if he can do anything today to salvage their anniversary. Absently, he reaches beside him, wanting to pull MC to his side and wake her up with kisses --but his hands come up blank.

"What the-?"

His head whips to the empty space beside him and Vanderwood sits up just as the door opens. MC comes in, balancing a small tray table filled with food.

"Baby, what are you doing?" Vanderwood asks, bewildered. He starts to move from the bed but MC makes a sound and continues moving towards him.

"No no, you stay right there," she says, eyes staring at the orange juice sloshing inside the glass. "Don't get off the bed, baby!"

Vanderwood freezes, unsure what's happening. Finally, MC lays the tray table on the bed and beams at Vanderwood. "Happy anniversary, baby!"

The brown-haired man blinks, surprised. Then a soft chuckle escapes his lips. "MC, baby...did you do all this for me?"

MC shrugs, her smile wide enough to light up the room. "Maybe~"

She carefully sits on the bed closest to Vanderwood, tucking her hair behind her ear. "Baby, yesterday was amazing! I wasn't expecting those surprises at all."

Vanderwood's brows furrow. "What do you mean..? MC...I...was gonna apologize-"

"What? For what?"

Vanderwood awkwardly scratches his cheek, not sure what to say. "Uh...ha, 'coz I didn't intend for the RFA to show up. And I mean, anniversaries aren't supposed to be celebrated like that...right? The movies we watched, the celebrations ain't like that."

Giggling, MC leans towards her boyfriend and kisses his cheek. "Oh Vanderwood, it was perfect. I had so much fun, even more so because our friends were with us celebrating our special day with us.

Without the RFA, you and I would have met in a different way. But I like our love story, because everything that has happened so far has led us to this moment, baby." She holds his hands, cheeks turning red. "I loved watching you play volleyball and grill our lunch, I loved listening to you talk with our friends, I loved catching my boyfriend all dressed up to take me on a fancy dinner, and I loved that you sat through another romance movie with me, all the while having a popcorn battle with Saeyoung."

MC squeezes his hands and all of Vanderwood's doubts vanish; his eyes fix on her, his heart beating loudly against his chest.

"Vanderwood...the girls in those movies we watch get one big gesture per movie but I got three amazing dates in one day. My friends were there to celebrate a special day with me: the anniversary of the day I promised forever to the love of my life. And I-"

Before MC could finish her speech, Vanderwood closes the gap between them and meets her lips for a kiss, pulling her close to him without toppling over the tray. MC's hands clutch the front of his shirt and her eyes close, her body tingling as he pours his emotions into their kiss.

"MC," Vanderwood says breathlessly, leaning his forehead against hers, "I love you. I'll keep takin' you out for dates, keep celebrating this day with you every year. 'Coz it's the day you and I got together, the day my life started to make more sense..." He gives her another peck and pulls her closer, stroking her cheek with his thumb. "But every day you remind me that there's more to life than fighting and running. Every day, I wanna see you smile and hear you tell me you love me."

MC giggles and wraps her arms around him. "I love you, Vanderwood." She lays her head on his chest, feeling the strong beat of his heart, a heart that's tied to hers. "Yesterday was amazing but today I'm keeping you all to myself."

Vanderwood chuckles, reaching for a piece of bacon and holding it near her lips. MC takes a small bite from it and Vanderwood takes a larger chunk. "You and me all day, huh?"

MC nods, reaching for her phone. "You and me, all day, everyday." She holds the phone away from them, opening the camera app. "Happy anniversary, baby~"

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Thank you so much for the opportunity to participate, @mysme-rbb :) I had fun and kudos to the mods for an amazing project! 

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Check out my other Mysme writings here!

Mango Shake/Ko-fi is always very much appreciated (ᵔᴥᵔ)

I’d be honored to write your story <3 (Commissions are full and closed atm ;A;)

[hwallout]

chemistry - haon

request:  you're literally so cute omg 🥺, and yes he really is talented, one of the best rappers in my opinion actually,could it be a fluff, you being an idol and something like you two are dating and go to a variety show together and everyone just adores you two 🥺

words: 4,2k

genre: fluff

early a/n: omg im so nervous about this, my first request!! i kind of got carried away with the idea and just wanted to write a lot of things for it. it’s also my first time writing an idol and variety show au so i hope i did it justice <3

“Today, we have a special, new couple with us, everyone please welcome them!” The short and chubby woman said, a little nametag hanging off the rough material of her shirt, Jiyoon. Her voice rose slightly at the last word, arms extending and hands pointing towards the two youthful souls that stood not so far away. Slowly, the camera zoomed out and focused on the excited and cheerful appearance of a young couple.

Today, after exactly two weeks of going public about your relationship with Haon, you were guesting on your first “couple” variety show. Needless to say, nervousness taking a toll on your mind, although it wasn’t the first time guesting on this exact show. Being a popular solo artist, you’ve been invited a few times, and so has the rapper beside you, but being here as a couple was a completely different story.

Still, you didn’t let the tension win, and decided to film today’s episode as per usual – with a lot of fun and laughs. Now that your boyfriend was there, the atmosphere was only going to be better. Haon had a huge smile on his face, one that was well matching with yours. His cheeks came up high and made his eyes turn into thin slits. Just seeing him so happy was enough to make anyone’s day perfect.  

The two of you walked hand in hand, bodies moving to the slowly increasing volume of a song playing. It took a long second to realize that it was your recent collaboration – a song that earned a lot of praise and became a hit overnight. Letting the beat glide, your idol persona took over and you started bopping and mouthing the words of the song.  

When in the center of the room, Haon turned around and rapped along, hyping up the whole set. His lyrics flowed perfectly, breathing perfectly in control for the speed he delivered the words. Although so close to the boy, you still envied him, there was still so, so much to learn from such an experienced person. Slowly but surely, he built up the atmosphere for the main part of the collaboration – which were your own lyrics. When they finally started, the set went silent.

Still in the chic persona that the fans adored so much, you rapped along, holding an imaginary mic. At some point, you’d lift up your leg and step on Haon’s thigh, the boy now crouching down and enjoying the show. He looked at you with a cheeky smirk, but the eyes held so much indescribable adoration for the female before him.

Distancing away, and deciding to walk around the room, you showed off the powerful aura that was one of the main reasons you were an instant hit right after debut. The producers and cameramen bopped their heads along. In the last few lines, your boyfriend joined in on the vocal parts and you ran towards him to perform together, satisfied with the smooth execution of the beautiful collaboration.

The song ended with a strong growl and an imaginary mic drop from the both of you. Sounds of amazement resonated through the room, and the MCs appeared in the shot once again, also clapping along.

“Exactly what do we say about this duo? Legendary, exceptional, talented couple” Jiyoon chirped, her voice high but slightly raspy. “Haon and _____ everybody!” Hoseok and Lim, two of the other MCs joined in, chanting names and motioning towards you for the main camera to move and switch focus.

A brief filming cut was made, and suddenly there were a lot of people running around. Some staff came close to check up on makeup, hair, clothes, while the rest prepared the set behind. Haon’s disappearance went by unnoticed, until he came back, holding a fluffy blanket in your favorite color. Unable to control the sudden rush of feelings, you hugged him tight, hearing quiet coos from the production crew.  

Everything was finished in a matter of one minute, and the filming resumed. You were seated now, with the blanket covering up your legs, a warm feeling spreading over the chilly skin. There was a wide smile on your face that only widened as the male beside reached out and held your hand, placing it neatly in his lap.

“First off, welcome! It’s a pleasure seeing some familiar faces again” Lim spoke, deep voice contrasting his soft features. He looked at the boy on your left, then you, a friendly smile on his lips. The man’s cheeks were high and full, making it clear as to why the media often compared him to a mochi. Seeing Lim hosting again allowed you to relax more. You were already comfortable enough to joke and fool around with the older.

“Thank you for inviting us!” Haon replied, glancing to his right quickly as if to catch your reaction. Even after so long, there was that soft smile he fell in love with so long ago.

“It’s always refreshing when couples guest on our show, but I must say I was pleasantly surprised with today’s lineup” Lim continued, and was met with approving hums from the others. You looked down at the blanket, feeling a slight flush overtaking your features.  

“We hope you guys will have fun with today’s segments we prepared just for you” The host continued, flipping over a page on his script and taking a quick glance at it. The announcement had your eyes widening and mouth forming an O shape. Haon was in charge of vocal reactions, an amazed (or perhaps thrilled?) sound leaving his parted lips. You looked at him in excitement, resuming to clapping and legs swaying back and forth.

“Ah, just for us? Stop it, I’m gonna blush” Haon suddenly said, putting a hand to his heart, trying to fake fluster. The tone with which he spoke was high in pitch, almost way too cute for his usual demeanor. You laughed at his little remark, seeing just how comfortable the other was with the older man.

“You know you’re my favorite, how can I not?” Lim replied with the same type of undertone, mimicking the actions of your boyfriend. A slight commotion developed between two friends. You, and the two other hosts, sat on the side, watching with attentive eyes the teasing conversation that went back and forth – providing yet another source of entertainment. The room was quickly filled with laughter and claps of excitement.

Once the noise died out, Hoseok was the one to speak. He was the newest MC of the show, yet he always seemed so professional.  

“As you can see, we always have fun with our guests” He said, taking a glance at the script in his lap. The motion was brief and quick, almost unnoticeable. “And I hope you’ll continue to enjoy the show because we are jumping straight onto the first segment!”

The MCs did their usual transition between introductions and first segments, their strong cheers followed by your own. Adding to points for style, the couple made little hand guns that were pointed at the camera. They were later on edited to shoot colorful hearts.

“So, guys, you’ve been dating for some time now” Jiyoon noted, looking at you with adoring eyes. The woman was in her mid 40s and always loved seeing such young but aspiring people happy together. It was something about these pupils that had so much weight on their shoulders, but found time for each other, that made Jiyoon’s chest feel warm. It’s probably exactly why she loved doing shows like these.

“9 months” You interrupted, trying to hide the excitement that threatened to drip off those words. Honestly, it wasn’t possible to remain emotionless while speaking about your relationship. The boy meant so much to you, that whenever talking or thinking about him, you’d smile.

“9 months, yet only decided to go public recently, how did that go? How did you come about making such an important decision?”  

“Well, we talked about it a lot ever since we got together actually” Haon spoke, the dark strands of hair falling over his eyes, failing to hide the raw emotion in his pupils as he spoke. Out of nowhere, the boy’s hand reached for yours and for the nth time that day, you let him hold it.  

“But I think that just after our collab came out, the fans managed to catch onto that little bit of emotion. That’s when we realized it couldn’t be hidden for much longer. So, as we appeared in more videos together, they kept on picking on all these little looks because you know, it’s impossible to hold all of them in-” The boy laughed, cocking his head to the side. “And then maybe I slipped and posted a certain story...”

“Slipped and went through the effort of putting a filter and timestamp on the picture” You noted, remembering just the exact moment when it all unfolded. It was a late Friday. In quest of breathing some fresh air, you walked out on the balcony, leaned against the balustrade and enjoyed the beautiful view. The full moon greeted you happily. Haon joined you on the balcony shortly after, but his steps were quiet, unalarming of his presence. From his point of view, your form was only a dark silhouette, contrasting the city lights and white city behind it. Without much thought, the boy snapped a picture, turning to instagram story and writing ‘late night inspiration’.

The fans weren’t slow to catch up. Fortunately, it appeared to be a good decision.

“We were with supportive comments even before going official, and when that accident happened, we decided to come clean of it. That’s what he’s trying to present an essay about” You answered the question with a sassy tone, rolling your eyes playfully at the other, earning a laugh from the hosts in return. Your boyfriend tried faking offense at being so nonchalantly interrupted, but the smirk that followed on his expression didn't wait to appear.

“And how did all of this happen? How did the relationship develop?” Lim questioned, raising his eyebrows in a teasing manner.

“Haon was actually there when I auditioned for the company. He wasn’t allowed in by the judges-” You began, trying to vividly recall the exact moment of your first encounter. Haon was shorter back then, hair curly and covering most of his forehead, reaching his eyes even. It was a wonder he was even able to see you audition through those strands and blurry glass. Haon wore baggy clothes, and you remember thinking that his outfit of the day was inspired by homeless fashion.

“Mind you, I was called, but I refused”  

“He refused and then stood right outside, watching the audition. When I came out of the room, he greeted me and we talked while I waited for my friend to finish her audition. We became friends in a span of 10 minutes”

“I knew she was going to get accepted, and when that finally happened, I was there to help her with all the burdens of the trainee period. Especially because she was trained to be a solo artist. We’re similar age, so I was there to be a friend as well as some kind of a tutor. Then, it all slowly developed from that friendship” Your boyfriend spoke with so much pride in his voice and you had to physically restrain from cooing out loud. Despite all effort, there was still a faint tint of red on your cheeks.  

“The two of you are people of great qualities, what are some things that you exceptionally like about each other?” Hoseok questioned, quite interested in the whole topic. He wanted the two of you to talk your hearts out, to show just how happy people could be when together. The man was an idol too and completely aware of how cruel the industry could be, especially towards young artists that tried living life outside of work. Seeing a couple like you, openly talking about the relationship, gave him some faith to believe in.

“She’s extremely selfless. She’ll first make sure everyone is doing fine and everyone’s needs are met before hers. Also, she’s very determined. If this girl has her mind on something, she’s not going to stop working until it’s achieved. If some things meet bumps along the way, she tends to talk herself through it-”  

“I do not!” You tried defending pride, but the words held no truth. It was a trait you were aware but definitely not proud of.

“You do. Personally, I find it cute, especially when you’re working on songs, composing or writing. You hum a melody and then explain it to yourself. Or when your tongue pokes out while concentrated, like this” Haon explained, carefully moving his tongue to place it between his soft lips, resembling a puppy. Although called out, you found the situation to be a great source of even more entertainment. Deciding to tease the boy further, you squinted and leaned in.

“No I don’t?”

“Yes, you do, exactly like this” Your boyfriend repeated the action, turning around so you could observe from different angles. Unfortunately for him, there was no affirmative reaction, and you only resumed staring at him. At this point, the MCs caught onto the game and started giggling silently, hands covering their mouth and trying to prevent the sounds from escaping.

“How? Can you please demonstrate again I didn’t see it” Just then, the façade broke and your voice pitched up at the end. A sneaky laugh slipped just in between the last two words. The boy looked at you seriously, taking a second to process the situation before gasping. His head shook in disapproval while everyone around laughed loudly. Your shoulders shook with so much power that they managed to throw you off balance and off the chair – almost. Almost, because just like always, the protective and reassuring side of your boyfriend was there to steady your form. With an appreciative look, you silently thanked him. Just a few more moments passed before you were answering to Hoseok’s question too.

“Haon... he’s very outgoing, to the point where I have to mentally prepare for whatever might happen tomorrow. He’s always doing something, always busy with something. Also, he loves to gift and surprise people, with small pieces of affection or big extravagant plans”

“Haon likes to interrupt me mid writing to listen to his songs and I really can’t complain about that because I get to hear all of the songs in their raw, original format” You tried to do the boy justice, although it is extremely hard to do so using plain, simple words. Your feelings went further than any sentence could ever portray.

“He’s very clingy and loves to show affection at any moment possible” To prove the point, you pointed towards the other hand that was securely in his. The hosts cooed at the sight, and instead of pulling back, Haon only caressed your fingers carefully.

“He likes to switch between English and Korean a lot, thank god that I understand him, for we’d definitely not be able to communicate properly if I didn't”  

Truthfully, it was possible to go on for days about your boyfriend. It was that huge space the boy had in your heart that held so, so many reasons for why it loved him. Deeming that the show wasn’t an appropriate place for your heart to write love letters, you decided to stop there, ending the presentation with a slight nod and look at the ground. The hosts took a few seconds to drink up this beautiful confession, before agreeing on moving on to the next segment.

“For every couple, communication and understanding are very important, right?” Jiyoon started, looking around as if to gauge reaction. Humming and nodding along, you agreed with her statement. She flipped the pages of the script, a little more obvious than Hoseok, and continued the speech. “Those who are close can understand each other without words, even, so that’s exactly what our first game is going to be about”

As if on que, Lim ran towards the production crew to pick up a a stack of papers. All of them had something written on them, but thanks to his broad form, the words were hidden from sight. Hoseok took it upon himself to explain the game, saying you’ll be explaining words to each other using only your body. In the first round, Haon will be the one describing, while you guess, and in the second, vice versa. Six points and above were considered a win, there were two passes and one minute per round.

“I don’t think this is a good idea, we have a collective sum of three braincells” Your boyfriend spoke, realizing that such a game maybe wasn’t one of his strongest fields. Laughing quietly while walking towards your position, you listened to the funny exchange between him and Jiyoon.

“Three work better than none” The woman tried encouraging the boy, patting him softly on the back.

“The problem is all three of them are hers” Haon replied, a teasing tone noticeable in his words. The older giggled, pushing him softly towards his own position, shaking her head while doing so. Lim stood a few steps behind you, holding the papers high above his head so the boy describing could easily see the words. The countdown began and in a matter of three seconds, you were thrown into the game.

A minute passed by way too quick for your liking. It was as if you’ve only had enough time to properly think about two of the terms the other was mimicking, when in fact you’ve managed to do quite well. Succeeding on guessing explosion, roller coaster and cute, with a pass on police officer, you thought you’ve done well enough. For the first round, you were very proud of the both of you. Now the team only needed to get three more right, to win the game.

Unfortunately, this word set appeared to be a lot harder than the last. Still, somehow, with incredulous amounts of effort and teamwork, you’ve managed to succeed on cloud, phoenix and leaf with a pass on machine. Hearing someone yell “PASS” sent both youngsters into overdrive.  

Cheers of celebration echoed throughout the wide space, as you all but yeeted yourself across the room. Succeeding appeared to be a huge accomplishment, even though it was just a simple game. You ran across the studio, occasionally throwing glances at the rest. Haon was wiggling his body like a spaghetti, making weird noises to emphasize his happiness. Once in arms reach, he lifted you off the ground and spun around. As a succession gift, the pair was gifted a Korean beef set, that managed to increase their already huge amount of happiness.

The next segment was calmer than the last. The MCs discussed a little bit more of your life and daily routines, still curious about how you were managing everything. They brought up some funny pictures and videos you’ve posted together in the past two weeks, and listened to the stories behind them – especially the video where you were running away from a flock of angry ducks at a local park, all while Haon was sneakily laughing and recording. Or the one where he was trying to make a certain type of pastry and managed to completely drown himself in flour. Of course, the picture you snapped then was immediately posted on Instagram.

When the hosts introduced the next game, your interest was immediately earned. Although alone, it actually was something you’ve practiced before, therefore doing it with your boyfriend shouldn’t be that challenging.

The explanation was brief and clear. You will be shown a yoga pose for exactly half a second and will then have twenty to recreate it as accurately as possible. Two executed poses are a success.

Apparently, this was supposed to showcase another side of your teamwork and compatibility. Just how the hosts imagined the game to prove your compatibility was beyond the couple, but as long as you had fun, nothing else mattered.

Feeling a rush of confidence from the last game, you stood up and approached the little screen that will be displaying the poses. Haon joined in and you were shown the first picture not long after. A gasp left your lips.

“Tell me I didn’t see that well” You whispered, surprise evident both in your voice but also eyes. Seeing your confused face, the boy was ready to explain, but upon noticing the clock already ticking down your precious twenty seconds, he realized there was no time for it.

“Unfortunately, you did, now hurry!” He said, already moving to mirror the pose of the man on that picture. It was easy for him to hurry, when his part of the pose was way easier. Carefully approaching him, you stood on his foot with yours, then looked back.

“I swear if you drop me-”

“Wouldn’t be the first time now, would it?”

“Just please don’t drop me this time” You pleaded, letting Haon grab the other leg by the ankle and slowly lift it up. Thanks to the idol training, you were quite flexible so the boy easily lifted your leg in the wanted position. Crossing yourself, you dared to push forward, screaming when the force on the ankle pulled you into a secure position and prevented the fall from happening. At that moment, your heart beat faster than ever. Extending arms forward, the pose was finished and you listened to the last few seconds tick away.

The second one seemed to not have put you in a wishful position either, but it was easier than the last one. You took the black shoes off while Haon executed the downwards dog, strengthening his back so you could easily climb up. Shifting all weight on strong arms and stepping backwards (and carefully) on Haon’s back, you stopped only when you reached his hips and were folded into a 90-degree angle. Once again, the clock ticked away, the MCs screaming ‘PASS’ and coming over to assist you coming down.  

It was only easy yoga, yet the both of you gasped hard for air afterwards. A weak fist of celebration was risen into thin air, as you sat down cross legged, still somewhat dizzy and disoriented. The camera made sure to zoom in everyone’s face, from different angles, eager to catch raw reactions. Haon on the other hand, although out of breath, was able to talk and stand up. He decided to go grab water for you, commenting on the experience while walking.

“I don’t know how it showed our compatibility, but it for sure proved how out of shape we are if we managed to get out of breath like this”  

You were given two minutes to calm down and have makeup checked (for the nth time that day), before the shoot continued. For the next, and at the same time last segment, you were seated again, speaking with the MCs about different goals and future plans. They allowed you to be as cliché and cute as possible, listening to the long bucket list of things you wanted to do together. Lim took a teasing approach and asked if you had any plans about the future wedding, to which your face flushed and turned a bright red shade. You were still pretty young, and there were a lot of things both had to experience and achieve before settling down; but it would be a lie to say that such thoughts haven’t crossed your mind. Haon decided to play along and replied with a laugh, saying that once it happens, all three of them will be invited.

The show wrapped up in a beautiful atmosphere. You were asked to perform another one of your collaborations, which was a slower, ballad song. Your hands stayed intertwined throughout the whole performance, only letting go at the last few lines. Then, you raised one arm up, meeting Haon’s just above your head, succeeding at forming a lovely heart.

The director yelled ‘CUT’ and the filming finished. Politely bowing to every one of the show’s staff, you walked away from the set, proudly holding the big set of Korean beef.

The next week, when the episode officially aired, you were nervous checking the reviews, still unsure how such a wide audience would react to it. Thankfully, as the two of you sat comfortably on the bed, in each other’s embrace, scrolling down the comment section, you couldn’t find a single negative remark. There were two million views already, and ten thousand comments, all of them filled with praise, delight and support.

“They’re nations new couple!”

“Look just how cute they are!”

“Their interactions are so precious; their chemistry is so strong!”

“Haonnie, we know you’re going to take good care of our angel!”

“They’re so close... I wish I had someone as precious as she does T.T”

And maybe, just maybe, that was all you had to see to finally experience full happiness with the boy your heart loved more than anything ever.

A/N: Here it is! My first request! Thank you so much for requesting and giving me a chance to write such a scenario <3 Also thank you for introducing me to Haon, i’ll keep up with him from now on  <3 Hope you enjoyed reading this!

[girloikawa]

carry on youtuber au

baz starts out as a cover artist, occasionally posting his own songs (he does violin stuff too)

but eventually he gets recognition and people are like “who is this person?????” so baz does a few q&as

oh BUT THEN he reveals that he also has so many other interests (books, movies, planting, coffee, Controversal Topics) that people want him to do other types of videos

and that is what starts baz on the long road of his channel basically being an everything bagel where he does a bit of everything and people find it very chill

agatha and baz become friends over their mutual love of gossip in the community (as long as they’re not apart of it)

(because baz and agatha and simon and penny aren’t problematic)

which brings me to agatha, she’s one of those channels that keep everyone updated on the drama and the shitty stuff that happens on YouTube as long as regular media

very opinionated, this gal is, so she shares her opinion on...everything

though, sometimes she’ll do a q&a and do her makeup and talk about fashion or what she’s into at the moment

she’s basically angelika oles

penny’s a booktuber!!!

she mostly reads and reviews fantasy books, as they are her favorite, but she’ll also do those videos where it’s like “i just read a shitty wattpad romance story, let me rant” or “my top ten favorite ya pairings” or “tier ranking every harry potter character because life has no meaning”

now, simon, the babe, he’s (and you cannot fight me on this) basically jenna marbles

his videos are so random and spurratic, he doesn’t even plan what his next video is, and he’s the youtuber

i would also like to point out that simon probably totally has adhd and would talk about it and his experience with it

his most popular videos are of him baking. he’s like (and hear me out) very good and very bad at it. like, all throughout the videos, everybody’s holding their breath’s like “oh no this is going to turn out terribly” because simon being in the kitchen is like a horse babysitting a dog, it’s a mess, however the end product is always perfect and amazing and by the end everybody’s drooling behind their screens

simon is also widely conceived as the weirdest straight guy ever. like people (from just looking at him) think he’s just So Striaght but a very Cool Straight Guy who people wouldn’t actually mind being around

simon has the most subscribers (the majority being that they find him funny and see him as a friend, the minority being people who think he’s Hot As Hell and okay yeah he’s a good person too but have you seen those freckles-)

then it’s baz because he actually started first and his following has been a journey, then agatha (she’s the newest, and her subscriber rate is growing rapidly), then penny (booktube is a small community sad face)

penny n simon are irl best friends and penny was the one who convinced simon to make a channel bc he needed something to help let out his energy, “plus it’s a little fun hobby”

snowbaz now :)

simon has followed baz from pretty much the beginning. he saw his cringy covers, his development as a songwriter, and the walls built around baz crumble over the camera

baz...well, he’s one of those people who think simon is Hot As Hell, but he also genuinely enjoys the videos. at first, baz was like “I’m not watching him, everybody watches him, and I’m different” so he always avoided the recommendations youtube gave him of simon’s videos (but it was also bc he didn’t want to confront that he was very attracted to simon)

and then, one fateful night, agatha sent baz a link to a video called “coming out” and under the link she wrote “youtube angel!”—that’s their nickname for simon—“shocking the world!”

baz click click clicked because hot guy is lgbt+????? and baz watched the video, commenting “proud of you” or something along those lines, and then he watched so, so many more of simon’s videos

simon, a boy who just came out as bisexual, just had his youtube hero comment on his video where he came out and is like !!!!!!

simon’s sexual awakening is baz

also, simon breaks the internet with that video, because he isn’t striaght and that’s so mind-boggling to everybody. but there’s always that one group of people who are like “i saw this coming. do you not remember that one time simon showed his socks and his jeans were cuffed-”

simon replies to baz’s comment and is like “oh my god thank you so much. you’re like my actual favorite youtuber” like a fucking Nut and people see that and say “omg collab” because they’re both relatively high status youtubers and their collab would be Powerful

then, summoning all his courage, simon dms baz on instagram with just a simple “hey, a lot of people are saying we should collab lmao”

“i’ve seen that” “heh uhm yeah” “maybe we could get to know each other and see if that would be a good idea” “yes! i’d love that”

and they do. they get really close and stuff,, but people don’t exactly...see that

you see, on twitter, they get in millions of arguments. people genuinely think that they hate each other to some extent, when in reality, they’re swooning at the sight of the three dot bubble

baz, on twitter: “you cannot tell me that people actually enjoy sparkling water. it’s trash, move on” (they had an argument over it, privately, and baz is making it public to cause a rise out of simon bc he finds angry simon cute)

simon, in response: “yo I’m throwing you in the trash as we speak. fuhhhck u”

so, when they collab for the first time, everybody at home is just like *shocked pikachu emoji* they end up doing a video where simon bakes baz’s mom’s recipe of cherry scones with baz. it’s kind of a big deal bc both simon and baz don’t want to ruin baz’s memory of his mother

in the end, baz tears up and gives si a big ass hug because they’re perfect, simon. i love them, thank you. the fans start shipping. hard. it’s simon’s highest viewed video

that surprise hug is also what makes simon realize that his feelings are much deeper than attraction and surface level forms of knowing someone

on baz’s channel, they were going to film a video where they talked about their experiences being queer, but then simon realized that his biggest, most prominent example was staring at baz’s jawline, so he had to be like “uhhh, actually, I’m not really comfortable with that yet” which is part true. instead, they do a video where they have argumentative discussions, like on twitter but in depth and with less insults

anyways, they receive pretty positive feedback on the videos, people enjoy them, so they decide to do more. also, they both live in LA, so it’s actually pretty easy to do them, plus they have a diverse area to do them in

also, i think it’d be nice to mention that simon will sometimes do twitch streams of him playing minecraft and then he puts edited versions on his channel. it’s worth mentioning because during this one stream, he ends up slipping up and saying “we talk a lot, actually. and i—i like him a lot” about baz, then he blushes like hell because i really just said that and it’s live oh god

all the while, baz and simon actually just start hanging out (without hiding behind wanting to do a video). one meet-up, they go to disney world and halfway through baz is like “uh, should we be filming this?” and simon gives him a smile and replies, “no” because that moment is for them and them only + the fans who see them together and ask for a picture/just take pictures of them being like a couple

their next collab is a bit of a fun one. behind the scenes, pen, ag, si, and baz all become friends, because of that one time baz came over while penny was there and he barely payed attention to simon, too busy talking to penny. anyways, they do a big four person collab where agatha basically teaches them how to do makeup

on penny’s channel, it’s book related. they have to do a look based on the synopsis’ of each other’s favorite books. baz gets simon, simon gets agatha, agatha gets penny, penny gets baz. baz: “snow, you’re holding it wrong. it’s like this” simon: *stares longingly at the brush that gets to touch baz’s face*

on agatha’s, the video is just titled Teaching My Friends To Do Makeup (ft. idiots who test my patience). they all suck. majorly. well, by all, i mean simon and penny suck at makeup

on baz’s, they do a trivia of sorts. if they get a question wrong, they have to skip a product. simon: “oh thank god less work” agatha, deadpanning: “i think i might kill him”

on simon’s, they have agatha and penny go against simon and agatha. si and pen being the ones who have to actually do makeup because, according to agatha, “since you decided to bitch so much, you guys are doing our makeup” “but-!” “nope, I’m Peak Brains of us all so I call the shots” “you’re not even-” “shut up” Everybody (and by everybody i mean the fans) is actually glad that they got to see simon doing baz’s makeup, because it’s literally them just being so flustered the whole time

the collab stuns everybody bc: “they’re all friends??????” plus, some people start calling them the Four Fucks because at one point penny says “fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, and most importantly, fuck me” after simon flinged a bunch of eyeshadow on her

okay so agatha and penny are just like: “these idiots need to get together already” because it’s very obvious that they like each other. like the eiffel tower in paris, you can’t miss it. everyone watching the videos also sees it, so you can imagine the comments

during one of si’s live-streams (he’s playing the hunger games minigame on minecraft), the chat goes wild because baz pops in. he plans on surprising simon with a picnic (he just thought that they could go into simon’s backyard or the park that’s a few miles away), but it was pretty spur of the moment so he didn’t think about simon doing a stream. and to be honest, simon’s stream was also spur of the moment, so it’s not like he made sure to tell baz about it

“simon! hey, i let myself in!” baz called from the front doorway. the chat is freaking because: “is that baz???” “omg baz has a key to simon’s house!!” “are they dating???” simon kind of just freezes up and starts sputtering as he reads the chat and tries to reply to baz

of course, baz doesn’t understand that simon doesn’t want baz to go into his office/room with his computer, so he does go in and as soon as he sees the livestream he’s like: “oh, uh, I’ll go” and simon unfreezes and goes “no, no, stay, I’ll just be a bit” “do you want me to...leave the room?” “you can watch if you want” (baz wants) “okay, sure” so simon pretty much shows baz how to play minecraft

i never finished this, do i?

[vithyahairandmakeup]

My Decade

My 2010 started with me finishing my one year diploma at London College of Fashion. I was so excited to start my new career with this prestigious qualification at one of the World’s top fashion institutions, but the makeup artist I used to look up to so much then, told me that I would not last long in this field. She broke my heart. And not because I thought I was doomed, but because of how discouraging and mean she was. 

Up until that moment I thought I had to prove something to my family, but then quickly realised that I am leaving one pack of wolves - my family of course - to walk into another - this industry!I swore to myself then, that I would encourage and support any other makeup artist along my journey and not be like her. I would like to believe that I stayed true to that to some extent. Whatever she had told me did place some doubt in my heart. Just as a precaution I thought I better apply somewhere and work part time at least. So I applied at MAC cosmetics, who had actually rejected me. They then gave me a call a few months later and asked if I could cover during their busy christmas period. Once I started at MAC, they kept me on and I worked for them for another 3 years. They even offered me the managerial position, the irony.

During the three years at MAC, I was so unsure and so confused in what direction I wanted to go in. It was a part time position, so it didn’t pay well, and I was desperately trying to freelance on the weekends. I would get a client once every few months, who wouldn’t pay me much. Without a car, without a proper makeup trolley, it was agony carrying my suitcase up and down underground staircases and holding onto it with my dear life during packed train journeys. I can assure you, it was not a pleasant experience at all.I tried being part of short movies, worked with the National Portrait Gallery, the Arcadia group (who own Topshop, Dorothy Perkins etc.), fashion shows for Nintendo, and even a shoot for British Airways. But all were unpaid and definitely got me nowhere except for a few phone pictures to add to my Facebook Page.

I would come home after a long day of standing and lugging my suitcase around, and my parents would look at me with judgemental eyes wondering why a science graduate who landed a very well paid job in a huge marketing company, would give it all up to do makeup on people for minimum wages and be treated like a servant?I honestly never ever regretted my decision. Yes it was tough not making money, and spending all my earnings on building a better makeup kit or on my travel, but it gave me life; it brought me happiness, it made me want to get out of bed, and it definitely distracted me from my anti depressants and suicidal thoughts. Being a makeup artist brought me back to life.

In 2013, I quit MAC and took the brave decision to go self employed. I registered my company officially. My freelance work had picked up, and I wanted to free my weekends from working in retail. I wanted to explore more and try out new things.I still remember I had hit 10K followers on Instagram after joining in 2012 and more and more people started to get to know me around the world. Instagram opened up a lot of doors for me.Having lived in Germany most of my childhood, my parents were ok with me travelling to Europe for bridal jobs because I was able to stay with family. I think I was the first Tamil makeup artist back then who travelled to neighbouring countries for work. That was probably one of the best decisions I had made. Travelling around Europe and doing makeup got me exposed a lot more and people who were not on social media knew of my existence. 

And as per usual I would still collaborate and work for free with anyone who contacted me. I wanted to get out there and try everything new. During exactly one of these collabs, I was asked to come early morning one day, to do makeup on a male model for a music video shoot. When I arrived that Monday morning I nearly fainted at the sight of Simbu, a very famous Tamil Actor. I was getting my station ready when the makeup artist who was hired for the entire movie did end up coming for this music video shoot. I was gutted. I thought I won’t get a chance to work with him and was prepared to pack up and leave. But the organiser was adamant that I stay and help out. I asked the makeup artist if I could do touch up makeup at least for a few scenes, and she kindly let me. The pictures I took of that moment went viral in South India, and that was the first time people in India started following my work on social media or even knew of my existence.It was also the first time a lot of makeup artists noticed me and can I just say they were not happy with this newbie getting to work with celebrities. 

It got worse in 2014 when I was asked to do makeup for another famous Actress, Sneha, for a Wedding Exhibition. To be honest I was very overwhelmed. I did not think I was cut out for the job and kept asking the organisers why not pick some of the more experienced makeup artists. I really was not ready for such a big job. I wasn���t confident.However, the organiser told me that out of all the profiles she had sent Sneha, Sneha herself picked me. That was all I needed. I spoke to Sneha on the phone a week before her arrival, and met her a few days before the show, to discuss the looks and make sure she was happy with everything.Working with her will forever be one of my most cherished moments in my career. She believed in me and trusted me. However a lot of people were absolutely angry at the thought of me doing makeup on someone as famous as her. They could not comprehend that someone as inexperienced, nor established as myself would bag in a job like this. I did understand their disappointment, but was sad that no one seemed to want to support me. 

Later that same year, I was asked if I was interested in being a production assistant for two songs from the movie Nanbenda; it was a Red Giant Production acting Udhayanidi and Nayanthara, line produced by Kavino from MYA Media. Of course I know nothing about production, but did not want to turn down this opportunity, so took 9 days off and decided to help out. The shoot took place all over Great Britain with a huge budget and an experience of a life time. I got to personally work with Nayanthara and saw what happened behind the scenes. I made great friends during that shoot, even had the responsibility of finding a castle and two horses for one scene, but went home having to deal with a divorce. Even though career-wise 2014 was a great year for me, but on a personal level I had to deal with a lot of heart ache. And no, it had nothing to do with my career, it was simply bad timing. 

The following few years just had me on a rollercoaster to be honest. I tried numerous new things; being a TV host, a judge for dance competitions and beauty peagants, modelling, acting in commercials which never made it on TV, makeup for adverts, short films, magazine shoots, editorials, none were paid of course, until I found a new love for teaching.

I started teaching one-to-one tutorials in 2014 and remember I couldn’t even get two students that December. The following year it grew to 10 students, and in 2016 I had back to back students who were willing to pay whatever I quoted. That I when I made the decision of doing a Masterclass after seeing Mario (Kim Kardashian’s Makeup Artist) do these around the US. I had no guidelines nor knew how to start. Masterclasses were unheard of in our community. I was the first.I hired a small gallery space, and rented 20 chairs. I had my cousins and friends help me set up and we bought a Kettle and paper cups to serve tea and coffee for everyone. I thought the day went so well, and absolutely enjoyed the teaching, to get a call at the end of that day from my mum crying down the phone telling me that our house got robbed. Well we quickly found out that nothing was actually stolen, but the house just go trashed. A lot of us that night stayed up thinking someone did not want me to do these classes. My high ended with such a low, and got worse when I woke up to a lot of emails from our students complaining about numerous things in regards to my Masterclass. Today, I have taught 16 classes all over the world now with as many as 80 students, and for renowned makeup brands such as Bobbi Brown and Nars Cosmetics. So don’t ever let anyone or anything stop you from what you love and what you are meant to do.

Anyway, the following years have definitely been the best; from campaign shoots for Pothys, being flown out around the world for Bridal jobs, being a panelist and being a Keynote speaker for American Express, working with South Indian Movie celebrities Amy Jackson, Bharathirajah, the beautiful Sneha again, and Meena, being in charge of Makeup for Anirudh’s Concert in London and Paris, interviewed on mental health and published in Huffington Post, and my YouTube journey with my Saree draping video amassing nearly 6 million views. I know this is not work related but me marrying the most amazing human being in New York almost 3 years ago definitely was a huge benefactor in my career too. Happiness does wonders, I tell you.

Either way, none of it came easy. Yes it was hard work, but no one ever publicly or openly talks about the politics and the drama that happen in the industry behind closed doors. How not only do you have to deal with your nerves when working on a big project but you probably have to pray all day that no one tries to sabotage this opportunity for you; that no one talks to the organiser and pays them off to drop you last minute (has happened to me countless times), and hope that no one talks behind your back and invents rumours about you. The best rumour was that my ex husband left me because I was having a relationship with Simbu apparently. When my Bride told me that, my answer was “I wish”. We had such a laugh that day.

My last 10 years taught me so much. I grew on a professional and personal level. I think maturity and experience has helped me deal with a lot of it, and face a lot of it.I have some amazing friends also who are in the same field as me, and I have never stopped encouraging, teaching, or inspiring others who are entering this industry. I want to be that someone I never had 10 years ago. Jealousy, competitiveness, and hate does nothing but destroy. It ruins, and it causes nothing but pain. Fame can be another culprit too. It’s great to want to grow on social media, but do not lose your morals, values, and principles along the way. Once you lose respect, it is very hard to earn it back.

How does one deal with all of this? I used to wonder why some people were so horrible, but then gave up trying to figure out what their reasons were. I still get hate or have situations were other makeup artists try and make it very difficult for me, but the first step was to block a lot of words and people on social media. Of course we want to be liked, and we want to be a good person and set a good example, but do we really need to prove something to someone who does not know you nor like you? No matter what line of business you are, there is going to be competition. There is going to be people around you who are going to watch you like a hawk and copy every single thing that you do. But let that be a positive thing. Let that challenge you to do better, and be better, and get outside of your comfort zone. Focus on your own path and cut out anything or anyone who stresses you out or causes negativity. It really is as simple as that.Comparing yourself to others is the worst thing you could do to yourself. Insecurities do not get you anywhere. Have the right people around you who feed your soul with positivity and happiness. And definitely stay away from those who like to gossip about others in the industry. Never healthy I tell you. Trust me, I have been there, done that.

My testimony is to help you see the non-glamorous side of my job, but also see how it has never been easy and still isn’t for any of us. In 2007 I tried to take my life. If anyone had told me then, that in 2020 I will be writing a blog about how to deal with negativity, I would have laughed in their face. But here I am today, doing what I love, loving life, and not being the slightest bit deterred by the few who will always try and bring you down. I have an amazing support system of family and friends, and there are hundreds of thousands of you who support me, so surely that has to count for something too. I am so ready to take on the next decade. Are you?

[riathenowheregirl]

Gold Dust Women: My Favorite Witchy Singers

Okay, before you burn me alive with “Where’s this certain artist?!” or “Why is this certain artist not here?!” or “Who even uses Tumblr these days?”, uhmmm me bish?? It’s my safe zone. Okay, the last question was a joke. 

Can I just say that the amazing women on this list are artists I listen to all the time. They’re my favorites, so chill (I’m open for suggestions tho). This is not Rolling Stone or Billboard magazine, it’s just ya girl’s good ol’ tumblr blog. Also, I’m not saying that all of them are literal w i t c h e s, it’s just that they portray the same aesthetic through their art and music. 

Alright, now that’s settled, let’s start.

1. STEVIE NICKS 

Do I even need to explain this? Stevie is undoubtedly the Etheral Queen of them all, the Pioneer, the O.G. Supreme whose lyrical soul and spellbinding voice echoes from the distant past to the inevitable future. Everything about her oozes with witchcraft and magic starting from her iconic top hat, to her millions of intricately made shawls, down to her platform boots. Only Stevie Nicks could pull off such Not-of-this-Era outfits and she has been doing it CONSISTENTLY. She’s in a timeline of her OWN. If you listen to her music, you would notice that every song of hers is poetry, like she’s telling a story or conjuring the unknown. She’s every witchy woman’s icon and that’s a fact.

Stevie is an untouchable yet gracious legend, we’ll always be a part of her sisterhood until the day of earth’s decay. Forever the Queen of Rock N’ Roll. 

Current Favorite Stevie Lyrics:  “ You can fly swinging from your trapeze, scaring all the people...but you'll never scare me.”  |   “Once in a million years a lady like her rises. Oh no, Rhiannon, you cry, but she's gone and your life knows no answer.”

Notice how I used the word “current”? Because it always changes depending on the state my life. Here’s a more detailed post on why I love her.   

2. KATE BUSH 

“Heathcliff, it's me, I'm Cathy, I've come home, I'm so cold! Let me in through your window!”

The eccentric beauty, Kate Bush made a genius, artistic move by writing a song about the book, Wuthering Heights, written by Emily Brontë in the 1800′s. Mind you, she was only 18 when she wrote and was the first song written by a female artist that landed on top the charts. Her voice is almost as distinctive as Stevie Nicks. While Stevie’s more nasal, commanding, wailing rock n’ roll goddess, Kate’s voice was high-pitched, alarming, ghostly, queer, and fairy-like. Everything about her is Performance Art. This is a woman who is not afraid to express herself.

For starters, you might think her music is strange and weird. Trust me, I felt the same way when I first heard her songs. But then, it began to grow on me leaving floral patterns on its path. 

Favorite Kate Bush Lyrics:  “Do you want to feel how it feels? Do you want to know that it doesn't hurt me? Do you want to hear about the deal that I'm making? You, it's you and me.”

3. FLORENCE WELCH 

This one is as obvious as Stevie Nicks. Florence Welch from the band, Florence + the Machine, is a poetess, a screaming banshee, and a full-pledged Sister of the Moon. She even started a witch coven during middle school. From her red carpet looks to her everyday outfits on Instagram, Florence vibrates powerful witch energy. Not to mention she has a song called “Which Witch” and that haunting music video for Big God with levitating women. Flo is not a woman to trifle with, I’ll tell you that. 

Photos courtesy of @lillieeiger

In all her songs, Florence will bind you with magic and it’ll leave you breathless. If Stevie’s songs are poetry, hers are spells you could sing out loud. Also, if you haven’t seen her house tour, go check it now! 

Favorite Florence Welch Lyrics: “'Cause I am done with my graceless heart so tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restart.”  |  “And in a moment of joy and fury I threw myself in the balcony like my grandmother so many years before me.”

4. LANA DEL REY

Remember when Lana used witchcraft to hex Donald Trump? It was all over the news and Twitter went wild. She was later quoted saying, “I really do believe that words are one of the last forms of magic and I’m a bit of a mystic at heart.” Oh, and she also did a collab with Stevie. 

We. Stan. Forever.

There was even a time that I MEMORIZED the monologue in the music video for Ride. ALL OF IT, HUNNY. 

Lana’s hypnotizing vocals together with her sixties baby doll dresses and Priscilla Presley hair is enough to convince me that she’s not of this era. She has a deep understanding of the beauty of past generation and the looming sadness and nostalgia that comes with it. Whenever I listen to her music, I imagine myself as a rockstar’s muse who is involved with the mafia but then I decided to leave him while taking his gun and convertible. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Favorite Lana Del Rey Lyrics: “Well, my boyfriend's in the band. He plays guitar while I sing Lou Reed. I've got feathers in my hair, I get down to Beat poetry. And my jazz collection's rare, I can play most anything.”

5. LORDE 

David Bowie didn’t call her the “future of music” for nothing. Just two albums under her belt, Lorde already proved that she will one day become a legend herself. Her music narrates an unparalleled interpretation of the anguish and fleeting charm of our youth. She knows what we’re feeling because she’s been there herself and is on the road to healing just like us. 

I think the message she’s trying to say is that we’re constantly losing grip on our innocence, and that life is often wicked so we need to accept that, grit our teeth, get on with it, and make art. She can also see color when she hears music. 

In my opinion, Lorde is one of the greatest artists of my generation. 

Favorite Lorde Lyrics: “The truth is I am a toy that people enjoy till all of the tricks don't work anymore, and then they are bored of me.”  |   “That slow burn wait while it gets dark, bruising the sun, I feel grown up with you in your car. I know it's dumb.” 

6. FKA TWIGS

Honestly, FKA Twigs is literally art in living form, a celestial angel that nobody can easily decipher. This woman has more talent in her fingertips than I could ever have in a lifetime. She somehow reminds me of a young Kate Bush; fearless, experimental, with an intoxicating voice. She never stops reinventing herself and it’s beautiful.

In FKA Twigs’ world, there are no limits, just endless galaxies. She pours her whole being in all of her songs and it shows. She’s not for the faint of heart, let me tell you that. 

Favorite FKA Twigs Lyrics:  “And I don't want to have to share our love. I try but I get overwhelmed. All wrapped in cellophane, the feelings that we had.” 

7. SKOTT 

I say this all the time, but I cannot write without Skott’s music blasting on my earphones. She grew up in a “forest commune run by outcast folk musicians” and was not exposed to contemporary music until her teen years. You would notice it in her songs. 

It’s hard to explain why, but listen to Skott’s music when there’s thunder and rain outside, then you’ll know why this woman is witchy. I kind of want her to be more popular and known, but then again, I also want to keep her to myself. Scratch that, LISTEN TO SKOTT’S MUSIC NOW. 

Start with Glitter & Gloss. 

Favorite Skott Lyrics: “Like an empty canvas, hear me cry. Like a masterpiece, I'm in your eyes. Now your colors are in front of me, we're a picture-perfect oddity.”

8. FIRST AID KIT 

I fell in love with this sister duo when I first heard their song, Emmylou, while browsing YouTube. It’s one of those moments of instant magic. Klara and Johanna Söderberg are a coven of their own. I would describe their music as “Woodland Folk laced with runes and wild flowers”. 

Their voices compliment each other so much that it reminded me of Simon & Garfunkel (they even performed their own version of America in front of Paul Simon!!!). First Aid Kit has this Woodstock seventies vibe, and you know me, I live for that sh*t. 

Favorite First Aid Kit Lyrics: “ When I run through the deep dark forest long, after this begun, where the sun would set, the trees were dead and the rivers were none. And I hope for a trace to lead me back home from this place, but there was no sound there was only me, and my disgrace.”

9. ZOLA JESUS

Zola Jesus’ music deserves to be played with an orchestra inside an abandoned castle in Transylvania while it gently rains and you’re wearing a white nightgown as you roam its empty halls. Is that too much?

 Not at all. 

Like Skott, I listen to Zola whenever I’m having writer’s block. If I ever finish my book, I’m gonna have to thank them. 

Favorite Zola Jesus Lyrics: “I'm on my bed, my bed of stones, but in the end of the night we'll rest our bones, so don't you worry. Just rest your head cause in the end of the night we'll be together again.”

10. ZELLA DAY 

Photo Credits to Harper Smith

I LOVE ZELLA DAY’S MUSIC OH MY GOODNESS. My favorite songs of her are Sweet Ophelia, Hypnotic, Man on the Moon, and Hunnie Pie. ESPECIALLY HUNNIE PIE. I cry whenever I hear that song. It’s just so pure, calming, and beautiful. 

Her music belong in the psychedelic era. 

People labeled her as the “happier version of Lana Del Rey” but I think she’s in a league of her own. She deserves more recognition, honestly! 

Favorite Zella Day Lyrics: “The older we get there's an ocean of people in places we've chosen and you know how mama keeps saying “we've gotta stop the games we're playing””. 

Hope you guys approve of my list! I really like sharing stuff that I love! Feel free to message me for more suggestions, I’d really appreciate to know more witchy artists out there. We’re all in a huge coven of sisterhood. 

Thanks for reading!

Love, 

Ria  🌙

P.S.

Please follow my blog!!! THANK YOU  🔮

[songsorter28]

Blackpink: The Album Review

Okay, this is the first time i’ve done this and the truth is i don’t know how, so i’ll just try my best.

First of all: I am a Jennie biased blink. That means I have no trustworthy sense of criticism when it comes to them and if you do, this is probably not the place for you. I will try to talk about this album with a sense of criticism, but sometimes, i’m just gonna like a song because it’s blackpink and y’all just gotta deal with it.

BUT, I am not afraid of saying i don’t like things that the pinks have said it to like, which is actually how i’m starting this review. So, if you guys are all about loving the girls and emotion and “think about how they must feel” this is a decision made by the girls, this place is also not for you either. I am a blink and i share a lot of love for those four women, but i am also a consumer of their work as artists. I will complain if I didn’t get something I thought was necessary as a viewer and listener for my money and attention to be spent. I will not, of course, hate on them in any way.

Ok, before anything:

1) English isn’t my first language, so I apologize for any mistakes. 2) Here, we’re gonna talk about the cover, pre-release single choices, writing credits, tracklist and my honest opinion about the album as a whole.

a) The Cover:

There’s not a lot to talk about but the fact that it’s gorgeous, but simple. I didn’t understand why a crown if the name was The Album (something unoriginal to be honest, but i’m not 100% against it) and there’s no reference to royalty throughtout the album besides maybe Jennie’s rap “didn’t want to be a princess”. I did find the cover visually pleasing tho, could be much more embarrasing.

b) Writing credits and Track List:

This one is quick. I’m extremely glad Jennie and Jisoo were credited as songwriters (Jennie as well as a composer) but Teddy gotta give Danny Chung to god. He hates rapper Jennie and he’s the reason Lisa doesn’t write. He’s always in charge of the raps so teddy gets confortable and Lisa doesn’t get a chance to write her own verses, which is something the sure thing cover showed us she can do. Also, he hates rapper Jennie to the point where she had to write her rap on the title track (wich is good, but, you know what i mean) and wasnt even given a chance to write more than 8 seconds. Melanie I hope this is the last time you were here. Loren you can stay. Tommy and Ryan yall were cute we had fun but it’s over let’s move one (seriously, these producers really made me appreciate Teddy more lmao pls sir never leave us). Okay that’s it. Now, to the track list.

I will be talking about the fact this shouldn’t even be called a full album on the My Honest Opinion About The Album As A Whole topic.

1. How You Like That

I say my opinion more detailed on the next topic but at at essence. Cute. A good opener to the album and what is to come, but too much of a bside to even be a pre release single.

6.5/10

2. Ice Cream

Again, my opinion it’s on the next topic. Cute song. Loved Chaennie’s high notes and wish i didn’t know english so the rap didnt sound that silly. Not as bad as blinks and non blinks make it out to be. 

6.12/10

3. Pretty Savage

I kinda also talked about that in the next topic lmao. It has everything a blackpink song should have. There’s been some controversy about Lisa “born skinny bitch” but Lisa was talking about herself since she has been body shamed through her whole career. She was right and she should say it. You’re entitled to feel uncomfortable but that’s just the thing she wasn’t talking about me or you. She was taking her pain and wearing like an armor. This was a diss track for the haters. Taking that away from her because of our own issues it’s kinda mistreating hers.

8.82/10

4. Bet You Wanna

Yes you guessed it right I talk more about it next topic. It’s a bop. Loved Jennie here. She has such a versatile voice I was very proud to hear her. And Cardi was also good. Just hope Lisa will get her rap part live cause she didn’t have much lines here. But I loved Jenlisa’s brigde. Rosé’s adlibs peak perfection and Jisoo’s chorus and english that’s what i’m talking about. The chorus can be a little repetitive and it kinda ends a bit suddenly but it doesnt bother me much.

8.37/10

5. Lovesick Girls

WHAT TO SAY ABOUT THIS MASTERPIECE OTHER THAN BEST BLACKPINK TITLE TRACK? Love that for me. It was so different than anything they’ve done so far, the lyrics were AMAZING, the message behind it also, the visuals in the MV, storylinne, RAPPER JENNIE OMG, she got the most memorable line “didn’t want to be a princess, i’m priceless” i love her tf the shade to the yg princess title and her scene in the car and in the mental hospital(will not touch on the controversies cause that was annoying) also Lisa’s rap/singing with a flow in the begining her voice OMG I WAS SHOOKEDT. Jisoo’s high note in the brigde? Rosé?? perfect.

10/10

6. Crazy Over You

Rapper Jennie for the last time with a 8 second rap again but LET’S BE POSITIVE. A bop. I loved the i. went. crazy. over. you. I love the lyrics. It bother a bit this much english but it’s bp’s idendity so i’m fine with it.

8.5/10

7. Love To Hate Me

This was a predictable song in the best possible way. Easily one of their best songs. There’s honestly nothing left to say. Also. Lisa’s rap. Maybe Danny Chung deserves some points. It even felt like she was a feat in the song like her flow yall just perfection.

9.4/10

8. You Never Know.

Great song I left with depression.

I like how this album talks with haters and blinks, it really shows a different side from the pinks. Only a few know the emotion Jennie starting off “but you never know unless you walk in my shoes [...] cause everybody sees what they wanna see, it’s easier to jugde it than to believe”. It was written by Loren, a close friend from the girls and the boy who’s Jenlichaeng  boyfriend in the LSG’s MV and Bekuh Boom, a producer who’s been with them for really long, but if anyone got a conspirancy theory that they were involved in the songwriting process of the song, sign me up. You don’t need proves. I believe you. ALSO JISOO GOT MOST LINE ON THIS ONE and we got singer Lisa. After a while, it become my favorite song from the album. Now, it’s my favorite song from their discography. Debate your mother.

9.62/10

c) Pre-Release single Choices: 

I can’t stress about this enough. Whoever was in charge for the single choices needs to go to jail. Not that HYLT is bad (at all) but comparing to the rest of the songs, it look MUCH more like a powerful bside than Love To Hate Me and Pretty Savage ever will. I will lecture later how Pretty Savage was the perfect choice to first release single, just wait. Now, to the controversial Ice Cream. To be honest, i found the song super cute and i think the MV was one of their best. It was different and refreshing, love that for me. But the whole sequence of events that turned out to that disasterous twitter timeline, with constant attacks to the girls especially Lisa over things they cannot control such as line distribuition and a sabotage from antis on yt comment section, was something I kinda already saw it coming. Ice Cream is Blackpink’s most successful single to date, but it was a bad choice from the start (I will talk about that in a second). For starters, YG decided not to promote the song well. While announcing the single, they gave us a poster with pictures from a summer package released months before. And each week they kept doing that, only using actual teaser photos in the release week. The hype was pretty much out. I can’t say my timeline is 100% blink because i have way too many fandoms that i’ve been following for longer than i’ve known kpop, but compared to the HYLT hype, they were pretty down and that’s on YGE. Also, ever since coachella, it’s been antecipated by fans and artists the possibility of a Blackpink x Ariana Grande (one of the most popular singes these last couple of years). The idea of an Aripink collab got blinks (who were already with an eye wide open after Blackpink was seen with Tommy Brown, Ari’s basically oficial producer, who has been producing for her ever since her second album and was reponsible for many hits of her latest project, Thank U, Next, such as 7 rings and Thank U, Next) even more hyped when YG announced (one of those old photoshoot posters. I’m sorry I will never let that go that company is so trash) that Blackpink’s second release was going to be a collaboration with a western artist, and Ariana herself like Jennie’s instagram post about the next single. I cannot put in words the reaction of my twitter timeline when YG confirmed that the collab was actually with Selena Gomez. 

Now, on a more personal note. 

You see, I actually like Selena. I like her songs, besides the critics. Perfect is pop perfection. Waverly Place is the best disney show ever since That’s So Raven. But, to a collab made to the US market, and besides the success of Rare, Selena isn’t a sales force like Adele or Taylor Swift, nor a streaming force like Ariana Grande. Nothing takes my theory that this was supposed to be an aripink collab but, for some reason, she dipped and then interscope (blackpink us label and selena’s label) picked her. Selena showed us a good time and promoted the girls more than YGE did but, it wasn’t a surprise when the song didn’t get a top 10 (a top 13 is really good tho, don’t get me wrong). 

Now back to the story telling

Selena was more than a feat, she sang the whole damn song, getting more vocal lines the the entire vocal line. She’s only a few seconds behind Lisa, who got the most lines in general. I understand that it is a collab, but this is the girls’ single. Why would they want to listen to them for only 16 seconds, the amount of time Rosé got? That set a bunch of solo stans (something that exists more in this fandom than everywhere else) to boycoitt the release, a huge fansite even taking out their funds for the full album (that was low, even for a solo account. JisooBar, you aint seeing heaven). Did i think it was a little of overeacting? As someone who’s an army that had to handle Not Today’s line distribuition, and especially since we’re talking about the main vocalist, someone who will for sure have more lines in the future (as she did), kinda. But, like i said, it was a bomb getting ready to explode at any minute. If it wasn’t that it’d be something else. That being said, NOTHING will ever justify the nastyness y’all did with Lisa and even Jennie’s comment section. Nothing. That was ridiculous even for solo stans. BUT for people who got worried about Lisa’s lack of posts after the release, don’t worry. She didn’t post a lot because Thailand is going through some stuff and I don’t think she has YGe’s permission to talk about it (when I catch the ones in power on that company istg). 

Wow, that was long. At essence, it  was a bad choice for several reasons, but i enjoyed the song a lot. Can’t wait for the live performances with chaesoo’s lines.

Now, back to HYLT. It was greatly promoted, it stopped Zico’s (huge in korea) releases and a bunch of other big artists in South Korea. Got 7 Perfect All-Kills and would’ve gotten more than 12 if the charts weren’t reforming at the time. It also broke a lot of records, and repeated Sour Candy’s position on the bb100 on #33. It’s another very Blackpink song that  I enjoyed but kinda aged. Many non blinks didn’t like it but it’s not like they were ever going to admit they liked a bp song. They’re annoying. The song’s biggest problem is probably the 2015 edm in the chorus. Like. Teddy. You gotta let that go. It’s time. He kinda heard us in the album. But, these kinds of songs are very liked by the general public, especially the korean one. An interview was made asking the general public if blackpink should change concepts and they said a bit fat no. So that tells what you need to know. And that it why i think Pretty Savage should have been the first pre release single. 

Okay, let me tell you another series of event. Back on november 2019, when we were starving because YGe does not like money, BlackpinkBar, a big fansite, payed trucks to be sent to YG building during a whole day demanding for better treatment to Blackpink. You can find all the demands online, but at essence, when it came to music related, blinks always mention: Jisoo’s lines, screen time and blackpink in your area, Main Rapper Jennie, Lisa dance break, Rosé’s high note. On HYLT, we got nothing. And everyone had to shrug it off saying it was just a pre release single, BUT it would be better hyped by blink and the hype to the second pre release would’ve lasted longe if PRETTY SAVAGE, who has basically all of that, was the pre release single. It would’ve assured us of so much. Jisoo said bp in your area twice, she RAPPED, she was singing, she could’ve had more screetime and center time especially bc she’s on all chorus. Jennie Main Rapper would go back and we wouldn’t have to be blue balled (which caused the ice cream meltdown)every single release and only having to wait till the title track and only to have a 8 SECOND RAP. I won’t talk about that now. Moving on. Rosé wouldn’t get a high note, but she would’ve gotten the brigde all to herself and the next pre release single, bet you wanna (wait for it), she would get those incredible adlibs. And Lisa’s dance break. Not only this is bp’s most danceable song and has a bunch of lisa’s raps, it also has jennie’s outro, where for a least 20 seconds lisa could’ve thrived. Yall we were robbed.

Now, real quick, back to Ice Cream. In a perfect world (or just a world where YG’s current ceo) had brains, if they wanted a collaboration to show the pink side of blackpink, with a poppy song and sassy lyrics, the artist not to be in the whole song, and to have an artist who would driven attention from the locals and is a big streaming force, THEY WOULD’VE CHOSEN BET YOU WANNA. My biggest problem with bet you wanna is Lisa’s lack of lines, which could cause stuff and well we just miss her they could have added a rap even for 8 seconds, BUT, seeing her all around pretty savage and knowing she’s gonna have Cardi’s rap during live performances would cool things down. Since we were in the middle of a pandemic, instead of a mv like ice cream where they had to do it separately, they could’ve done something like IU’s eight. A huge part in animation and a few with people. Literally YG why are you so dumb. Bye.

d)  My Honest Opinion About The Album As A Whole:

I did some math (lol) and my rank for The Album is 8.4. It’s easily one of the best releases from this year and I loved it so much, but something were left to be desired and i think i could pass everything and just turn a blind eye at things, except one: the fact we waited for 4 years, watched all ggs and yg groups getting comebacks last semester and only got 8 songs. Loona is releasing a mini album with that amount of songs. Stray Kids and BTS’s mini albums are longer than that. It was bad enough KTL had 4 songs and a remix (a joke) with 2 songs lacking raps and no rapper jennie only for them to carry YG’s dirty name after what their protected boys did. I legit hate it here they didn’t even had 30 minutes, their longest song wasn’t even 4 minutes. Also, before anyone says anything about the girl’s interview about quality over quantity. I’d like to say that i understand them having that when it comes to have one comeback a year and i’m honestly okay with that. But their first full album? 8 songs? Are you kidding me? Like I said, I’m a consumer. I refuse to receive this half assed excuse about quality over quantity when they had more than enough time to produce and write more than 8 quality songs? what, is impossible to write more than one song per moth? these songs have formulas, they can be made more than 8 times. A blackpink album its more than a thousand reals here. That 90% of a sallary. And please don’t come with the “if you don’t want it just don’t buy it” “you can just unstan them” bc that’s not the case. I love their songs. I love the girls. But I’m a consumer of their art and if they want to be takend seriously as artists, they gotta do more than 8 songs on a full album. It’s unfair to anyone that isn’t a diehard fan willing to sell out an overpriced photobook in hours. That’s not the only kind of fan blackpink needs. they need the store locals, the people who are not on twitter or tumblr or instagram. Cause those locals are gonna stay like they stayed with adele and taylor swift. stan twitter is much more likely to leave them with time.

Side note: I’m tired of commenting on rapper Jennie so I’ll just say Jennie deserves better than 8 second raps as the main rapper of the group. That doesnt mean I want Lisa to not rap or to Jisoo not to sing, as many will say bc apparently that’s what people hear when we say main rapper who trained for 6 years to be a main rapper should rap on at least most title tracks even if not on all songs.

But yeah, that’s it. Besides the unfortunate final note, I loved The Album and now Blackpink it’s my second most listened artist of all time. They were top 13 before the album.

[shawnmendeslatinamerica]

SM THE TOUR - Q&A LONDON (APRIL 2019)

(NIGHT 1)

Q: What's your favorite song that you've created?

A: It changes all the time, it depends on the week. Right now it's 'Why'.

Q: Would you collab with?

A: I would love to do something with Miley Cyrus.

Q: I'm from South Africa, would you ever consider going there?

A: I would 100%, I'm dying to go there!

Q: If you could go back in time who would you collab with?

A: If I could go back in time I would write a song with Elvis!

Q: What's your favorite song by Ariana Grande?

A: I really love 'Best Mistake' feat. Big Sean!

Q: What's your favorite song to play on bstage?

A: Right now I love playing 'Like To Be You'.

Q: Favorite food in London?

A: I literally breathe Wagamama!

Q: If you could have dinner with any 3 artists, who would they be?

A: Elvis, Jimmi Hendrix, and Tom Hanks!

Q: Favorite tour memory?

A: Brian got punched in the face! Or when he sprained his ankle!

[ Q: Are you aware that Roger Taylor follows you on Instagram?

A: I am aware!

Fan: You're one of 22 people he follows!

Shawn: *pulls out his phone to follow him back ]

Q: Would you ever change your last name?

A: I would never! If I did, it would be 'Shawn Lightning' or something!

Q: What’s a risk you’ve always wanted to take?

A: I always debate whether I should swear on stage! I just think that in life, if you can say it without swearing it’s better off, but sometimes I’m about to swear, then I swallow it. I said it once and it was weird!

[ Q: We know you love your knitted sweater...

A: I wore my knitted sweater 4 days in a row, I know!

Fan: Would you learn to knit?

Shawn: To be honest with you, I don’t wake up every morning thinking, ‘Wow, I wanna nit!' ]

Q: What made you write ‘Hold On’?

A: I wrote that song because I was missing my dad and my mum. I wrote it because I had a conversation with my dad one day when I was super homesick and basically wrote our conversation down.

Q: Your skin always looks perfect, what’s your skincare routine?

A: I’m not lying when I tell you guys that I don’t wash my face! I meditate a lot. I think skin is very based on how you’re feeling. You could rub dirt on your face & if you’re happy, you won’t break out!

Q: Do you have a favorite poem or saying?

A: I should as a songwriter, but I don’t! I can’t commit to ONE saying or poem to be the thing for my life because life is always changing.

Q: Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

A: I wanna do acting! I wanna be sitting in this seat right here doing a Q&A with you guys, except we’re all older! Maybe some of you guys have kids!

Q: What was your inspiration behind ‘Shawn Mendes’ and what makes it different?

A: I was 17 when I wrote ‘Illuminate’ and I was 18/19 when I wrote ‘Shawn Mendes’. I’m never going for a vibe, I go into the studio like I’m gonna write a song about my life right now.

Q: When you write music, do you have the lyrics in mind or the melody / guitar chords first?

A: Always the guitar chords before the lyrics. Sometimes I write an entire song of melody before I have one lyric…that’s not good!

Q: Can you do a British accent?

A: Not right now! I just got so nervous the second you said that!

————————————————————————————————————————

(NIGHT 2)

Q: What does the M&G mean to you?

A: It puts a feeling into a city when I do the M&G and Q&A. I understand the people, like if you guys are funny, caring, empathetic... I get on stage knowing you guys.

Q: What is on your rider?

A: Lots of bananas, nuts, every type of tea you can think of, and protein bars. And something you don't expect... tequila.

Q: What is something you think everyone should do once in their life?

A: I think everyone should jump off a waterfall into freezing cold water!

Q: What is your favorite musical?

A: My favorite musical is 'In The Heights'!

Q: How is Jake?

A: He tore his achilles and he just had surgery yesterday. He's at home now! Thank you for asking, I really appreciate it.

Q: What do you do to inspire you?

A: I drink 17 coffees until I think about the next lyric!

Q: What are your plans after tour?

A: In May, I'm gonna go in the studio and do some writing. After tour, I think I want to do some acting!

Q: What's your biggest dream apart from your music career?

A: I don't have any other big dreams apart from being able to tour the whole world for the rest of my life.

Q: What's your favorite part of Sziget?

A: Sziget? We're in London right now? I don't remember, it was a blur to me!

Q: What are your top 3 favorite John Mayer songs?

A: 'Dreaming With A Broken Heart', 'Walt Grace's Submarine', and 'Why Georgia'!

Q: Do you feel that you’ve reached a milestone in your mental health?

A: It was a milestone for me to say that I don’t take medication anymore but it wasn’t me deciding that I’m never gonna feel low again. It was just me celebrating that moment of victory right there.

Q: The European leg is over, how has it been?

A: I always get very sad when I leave Europe! It’s different. It’s a different atmosphere. Everyone is so free and open, the judgement level’s are super low. And I always find that as a person, I grow.

Q: What mades you choose ‘Another One Bites The Dust’ as the song before the show?

A: I’m trying to channel Freddie Mercury! You guys don’t see me but I’m under the stage going like this as hard as I can right when you guys are out there dancing!

Q: What’s your favorite song you’ve written?

A: I don’t have an answer to that because I always change my mind about my favorite song! But right now, ‘Why’! Not why, but the song ‘Why’!

Q: If you had to feature on John Mayer or Justin Timberlake’s album, which would you choose?

A: I would say John Mayer. I love Timberlake but John Mayer is my all time!

Q: Have you ever hurt yourself rocking out too hard to your own music?

A: Yeah, totally! My finger is bruised and cut because I strum the guitar extremely hard. Sometimes I go to strum it so hard, I just miss the guitar entirely!

[ Shawn: Amazing flower crown… Where did you get that flower crown?

Fan: I don’t remember, I got it 4 years ago..

Shawn: So today you woke up and you went into your 4 years ago old box? ]

————————————————————————————————————————

(NIGHT 3)

Q: (a little girl) Who is your favorite crew member?

A: Your dad!

Q: Who is your favorite 5SOS member?

A: I can’t answer that question! I don’t have a favorite member of them. I like them all for a different reason!

[ Q: What is the best bad decision you’ve ever made?

A: It couldn’t be bad if it was the best.

Fan: Yes it would!

Shawn: No it wouldn’t! I honestly don’t remember because I’ve never thought about it!

Fan: I KNEW you were gonna say this! ]

Q: How do you keep the show fresh for those who have seen it multiple times and for you?

A: There’s always a song that was the peak and a song that wasn’t as good. Right before I go on stage, I go, ‘90% of the audience hasn’t seen the show.’ You guys are the 10%!

Q: What makes ‘Why’ your favorite to perform?

A: I love it because it’s so different from the other songs. It’s just my favorite song on the album. Also. The second I wrote it, I was like, ‘This is the coolest song ever.’ I think it’ll always be one of my favorites.

Q: Was ‘Where Were You In The Morning’ based on a personal experience?

A: YES. What’s your question?

Q: What's your favorite drink?

A: Tequila!

Q: If you could go back in time and change one thing, what would it be?

A: I would remove all the khakis I wore!

Q: Did you win at bowling the other day?

A: I didn’t! I suck at bowling!

Q: Would you consider changing the lyrics in ‘Particular Taste’ tonight to ‘Only dances when it’s Taylor’ instead of ‘Kanye’?

A: I think that’s very appropriate! I’d say that!

Q: Is there anything you regret not doing?

A: I think the most important thing is that if you love someone, tell them. The second you find them.

Q: How do you motivate yourself to work hard?

A: I don’t have to, ‘cause I have all you guys!

Q: Favorite memory from the European leg?

A: Probably Brian getting punched in the face! Or Brian spraining his ankle! I wasn’t there for both times, when I’m not around he hurts himself. I’m kidding. Every show has been really fun!

Q: How do you do all your moves?

A: What moves do I do?!

Q: Did your piercing hurt?

A: The cartilage hurt. Mine still hurts. I got it pierced like 4 months ago!

Q: What’s the weirdest rumor you’ve heard about yourself?

A: I’ve heard something about my nipples, the amount of fingers I have, that I can speak 10 languages.

Q: Would you ever consider volunteering for any causes?

A: I would love to! I think there’s a million things I could do. To be honest with you, I don’t have time at the moment. I’ve been touring for a long time. When I have some time off that’s the first thing I’ll do.

Q: Plans when you go home?

A: Eat every ounce of food I can find!

Q: In Japan, how did you feel when you saw the rainbow lights [fan project]?

A: I remember that, it was beautiful! That was very sweet of you guys!

Q: You started tour in Amsterdam, why do you love Amsterdam?

A: We’re in London right now! There’s a cool energy in the city. It has a very old feeling about it, like I’ve gone back into time.

Q: Have you ever written a song lyric, and you’re like ‘oh my God, my parents will hear that!’

A: I’ve not released songs because I’m like, ‘I don’t want my mom to read that!’

Q: If you could switch lives with someone, who would it be?

A: I wouldn’t choose anyone. I wouldn’t like to live anyone else’s life but mine!

Q: This is your last show, are you planning to do anything particular in the show? For example, I’m thinking you play ‘Perfectly Wrong’.

A: It’s not the last show of the tour though! I’ll be back, I promise!

Q: Do you think with your head or your heart?

A: Probably with my heart to be honest with you. I should think with my head a little more!

[vroenis]

Reaching Out, Reaching In

It would be criminal not to use ABIIOR for the lede given I’m going to quote Matty albeit not quite verbatim - nevertheless - buy this album, it’s incredible.

But of-course, I’m going to start by talking about

BT

I mention BT a lot; he enters the lists often in my writing, in my discussions. Like many artists in my collection and listening rotation, I seem to be really into an artist for a period of time and then reach a cutoff point where I stop being into them. This probably happens for most people, I don’t know, I’ve not asked most people, but I do want to be very careful of not living in the past or rather dying in it. Still, I like to keep finding new things or rather I’m compelled to. I enjoy things that continue to grow older each second time passes, but I always thirst for new creations by all artists of all ages, whether they bring to bear the experience of years, or they’ve only been around for a few. The point is everyone is here on this wild ride and art is their response to the stimuli; it’s what comes out of us in abstract and semi-abstract, re-translated and it forms these amazing emotional and often transcending connections and multifaceted responses in us and by us I mean me.

I’m getting distracted.

In the last and understandably downcast piece on my deathbed playlist, there are three key BT albums and it’s worth noting the years he released them;

2006 - This Binary Universe

2012 - Nuovo Morceau Subrosa

2016 - _ (untitled - there’s a story, you can look it up if you like, it’s more or less just referred to as the character *underscore*(verbal))

There were other albums in-between but naturally those don’t make the list as far as what I want to be hearing if I’m half or unconscious or in a delirium on my way to imminent death. In 2019, BT released two albums;

October 2019 - Between Here And You

December 2019 - Everything You’re Searching For Is On The Other Side Of Fear

You may remember I wrote a whole lot about 2009 - 2019 and these albums were absent.

If you go to the wiki for BT, which are his initials for Brian (Wayne) Transeau, you’ll see a wonderfully rich history of a stupendously talented musician and immensely intelligent individual. He is part of a collective of people most wouldn’t know about (which is perfectly fine, to be honest) who are responsible for the digital audio revolution that has completely changed the way we create, record, produce, publish and distribute music as we know it. There are parts of that people may think are negative and some elements certainly are, but the net benefit is unquestionably positive even if only on the sole subject of accessibility. Accessible digital audio has put creation and power within reach of everyone and of-course this means there’s a glut of material available, but it also means we catch sight of more amazing art rather than never see it, or it not seeing the light of day. I lean on humans seeing it and saying that directly rather than speaking in abstract. The light of day is literally us - we humans, seeing the expressions of one-another and hopefully remunerating appropriately so that we can continue to live and improve each other’s lives.

I have always had and continue to have immense respect for BT. He began writing This Binary Universe when his daughter was born, and as she grew, continued working on the album with this tiny infant often in his lap as he worked. He wrote it from creation in 5.1 surround sound, rather than all other “surround sound mixes” being done in retrospect from the stereo stems. It is an astonishing work and See You On The Other Side may very well be one of the greatest pieces of music in history. When I first listened to TBU in 2006, I  had a myriad of emotional responses and I certainly didn’t have as much knowledge of BT’s creation process and background for the album at the time, but I can appreciate that shortly thereafter upon learning it, it probably does form biases in how I feel about the album. This will be important to the discussion later. Nevertheless, the album feels massively injected with specific intent and yes, surely every artistic work is regardless and we’ll get there. This is going to be personal but all writing is - that doesn’t warrant further discussion, we should always be making that assumption.

I follow BT on Instagram and saw him build his awesome new studio, an amazing space for all his gear and synths and something any music professional would love to have in some way... which I may check in a moment, or perhaps not so soon but I hope I don’t forget to come back to that. I will say that I do like it. It is a wonderful playground of vintage, rare and new synths, of super powerful computers with extremely new software and plugs, of high-end analogue desks and outboard units, extremely nice monitors and custom designed absorbers, panels, racks and furniture. It is an absolutely amazing space.

After the studio was finished, he did some collabs with some other artists and folks, some of which I also follow on Instagram whose setups are wildly different so it was nice to see some cross-over. He also interspersed with increasing regularity work on his albums which included clips of 100+ piece orchestras and often DAW session captures of the stems and him working on them. It was all pretty cool and the tiny snippets he posted were rad.

In October 2019, I was travelling to visit family due to cancer treatment, something that’s been at the centre of my life for well over 18 months, and I have my first full listen-thru of Between Here And You on an early morning when the rest of the house is asleep. It’s pretty great, sonically I like it a lot. I don’t have the same response to TBU but I don’t expect to, I should give it a chance, but it still doesn’t elicit a really significant response in me. At this point it has to be said that on the same trip, I have my first full listen-thru of Telefon Tel Aviv’s Dreams Are Not Enough, having slept on its initial September release, and that might be enough to give context to how I responded - it may have been where my head was at and remains to this day. I couldn’t shake it tho, as I still really have an affinity for TBU and I was wondering what was up.

Fast-forward to December and the release of Everything You’re Searching For Is On The Other Side Of Fear, and I do not respond to this album at all. It has some decent BT synth and sample work in it that exhibits his amazing talent, but it’s cut with orchestral and choral music that to me is indistinct from any other contemporary material available on a Pandora channel playing similar genres. I hate the sound of myself being so critical of someone I admire so much, because for someone who can write bangin’ trance and intricately complicated micro-rhythms and sample-chopped music, someone who writes their own freaken’ software and who edits audio down to the sample because their attention to detail is so specific and demanding - for that same person to be so talented to also be able to write scores and choral vocal arrangements is immense. I’m sure it all means so much to BT and I’m so proud of him for creating what to him must be an amazing work. I’m not trying to say anything negative about the work itself...

But I just don’t respond to it. Almost all the other music I’ve been listening to over the last 10 years including very recently, feels like it’s been created in response to extremely personal experiences that haven’t all been great - singular or accumulations of events that have precipitated significant introspection, and the art that has resulted from it for me reflects it clearly. BT’s two albums feel like... a very fortunate and privileged guy who’s had a lot of time and opportunity to play with his gear, record it and release it. The title also sounds presumptuous as if to position that systemic poverty and oppression and struggle outside of ones’ control can be solved by the oppressed simply stopping being afraid and I border on hating it every time I read it... - and that sounds so horribly mean because it is, I don’t intend for it to be mean. I need to check my expectations and I need to respect that Brian is still doing what he wants to do and he doesn’t owe me anything, least of all in something as abstract as how something sounds and whether or not I like it, because ultimately that’s all I’m talking about here, no matter how obscure I want to make the discussion. The intent of the title, especially - I’m certain - isn’t to diminish those who suffer, and I should be careful in my reading of it. So keeping myself in check, I’m here to explore the rest of my response, and I’m going to try and give further context.

Coldplay

I’ve no problem telling you I like Coldplay. I guess if you knew more about my musical background, it’d be less of a surprise, tho if you’ve been following along, it’ll make sense. If you’re reading this journal backwards, it may or may not, depending on how much I write about production in the future. To cut a long story short, like many bands I’m almost not at all into the band themselves and almost entirely into the production that surrounds them. Meow meow meow, all the art purists will bang-on about how music is about the performers but producers and engineers are artists in every way as much as performers are, and even bands or individuals who “just perform” with their instrument and no-one else on stage and no technicals (screens, lights, unseen backing musos etc.) still have a myriad of people surrounding them without which they can’t execute their working careers. Anyway, feel free to remain ignorant of those facts if you like and be all “pure performers”, no problem - magic can be real for you.

I lost track of Coldplay at after their 2015 album A Head Full Of Dreams. I’m less emotionally invested in the band and totally don’t mind that they’d up until that point releasing more or less the same sound for four consecutive albums. I really like the sound and if you pay close enough attention, it was actually evolving nicely, enough for me at any rate. I’d forgotten all about the band which is easy to do when you don’t really pay attention to pop-music and the activities therein, and then a couple of months ago (January maybe?) by whatever divination of the YouTube algorithm, a video titled Coldplay: Everyday Life Live in Jordan came up in my recommendations - a thing I was until then, unaware even existed. I’d no idea what the band was doing and I’m always keen to give them a shot, so I clicked-thru.

Moments ago I said I was happy with the band doing the same sound over and over again, and when I listen back to those albums, I’m still fine with them - let’s call it the Viva/Prospekt’s/Dreams anthology. Several things struck me about Everyday Life. Given my personal experiences of the last ten years, my struggles and the struggles of everyone around me, both personal and the cultures I observe and choose to observe, watching these four guys geared up in these ruins in Jordan looked stupendously privileged and a massive flex of wealth and influence. It looked like money buying good photography, framing and impossible location kudos and style. The sound in culture to my personal experiences also felt irrelevant.

And now I can finally talk about

The 1975 - Reaching Out, Reaching In

I now don’t remember whether it was at the ABIIOR concert in Melbourne, September 2019, or in one of the many interview snippets on YouTube or an article - I’m fairly sure it was his voice, so I either saw him say it in a video or he said it at the concert or both. Matt Healy said something along the lines of...

“... I know our last album was very inwardly focused... but A Brief Inquiry is very outwardly focused... it’s more about the world... and you... and us...”

That is not at all what he said verbatim but it was something very similar to that so I desperately hope a 1975 fan drops in and corrects me or can find a clip of him repeating it. Anyway there are a lot of really good things to extract from that, firstly from what it means about The 1975′s music and the culture that forms around it, and then about the discussion I’m having.

BT, Coldplay and The 1975 all live in my Ultimate folder on my hard-drive,  but while BT and Coldplay fall where they will alpha-numerically as far as directory structure is concerned, The 1975 have the auspicious honour of having leading zeros in their text so they appear first. This is so that I never have to scroll all the way down to T in any program or utility (like my car’s head unit) to find them. Worth noting that composer Yoko Kanno is 01 and Underworld are 02.

The album that preceded A Brief Inquiry... was released in 2016, titled I Like It When You Sleep, For You Are So Beautiful Yet So Unaware Of It, an intentionally Emo title, I believe or at least hope, and it is definitely an inwardly focused album in the themes indicated by its lyrical content. It’s to date one of my favourite albums of all time, superbly performed and produced and overflowing with emotion - there’s some truly heartbreaking sound and words therein. I feel like this album is a perfect inclusion with the others in my Circa 2009 - 2019 piece that was somehow vaguely about how much of a struggle those 10 years have been. I guess it’d be difficult to get a notion of that if you’re not familiar with the music and material, but all of that music is introspective - it’s all about reaching in. As mentioned above, the art these artists are producing is the result of deeply intimate experiences, some they share directly with us outside of the abstract of art - relationships, family loss, drug addiction, mental health - but many that they don’t so clearly telegraph and leave us with the abstract; the art.

A Brief Inquiry.../ABIIOR certainly is about reaching out, even when the lyrics do seem to be personal, but to me as an individual, it feels to reach out in the right way - that is to say *I* feel it’s reaching out to a world *I* identify with, in a way that *I* agree with or find agreeable. The songs in ABIIOR are about misunderstanding, they’re about not giving up, making mistakes, desperation, honesty, the chaos of the destruction of modern society. One of my all-time favourite songs has sprung from this album and has become anthemic for me - Love It If We Made It and I’m going to embed it;

And now I feel I want to say that naming an album “Everything You’re Searching For Is On The Other Side Of Fear” and also performing a concert in ancient ruins on the top of a mountain during a picturesque sunrise in Jordan with expensive drone photography both feel to me like also reaching out but in ways that I don’t like and agree with, that feel irrelevant and/or culturally inappropriate but I use the term culturally to mean my personal culture; the culture I see myself fit into as an individual that interacts with others, the struggles we seem to share as a collective.

I feel as tho Coldplay once did reach out in the good way I’m trying and possibly failing to describe, or perhaps just trying to frame from a position I prefer. I felt they had a more grounded sense of community with everyday people which makes the irony of their most recent project more apparent. It may well be that I just don’t like what these artists are doing any more and that’s fine. Sometimes we might feel entitled to a sense of righteousness, to validate our distaste for something on a more grand cultural level, to co-opt others into our critique so more fingers can point and collectively say “See?! That thing you’re doing really *is* BAD! More people said so!” but I really am keeping myself in check and not wanting to do that. I think I’m writing this journal to explain myself to myself - yes, to log my justifications because I believe in them, but also ensure I don’t turn into an arsehole. 

Still - I stand by my criticisms because they’re important. I don’t know why in-particular these few examples struck in this way when others didn’t. I bought a bunch of Anjuna music that has nothing to do with culture and emotional response in the ways I’ve discussed them and I love them. Sometimes music is about bangin’ beats and euphoria and that’s OK. Still, the world isn’t entirely a joyous place for me at the moment and hasn’t been. There are positives to celebrate, but I have never been one to only log my celebrations. In particular from a mental health perspective, only documenting positives is incredibly hazardous and I condemn the practice. As much as these entries are laced with darkness and difficulties, each one also contains the things that assist me in surviving, keeping me nourished and navigating this often hellish experience of life. Ultimately of all my skills, seeking out art I identify with is the most valuable survival skill I have, it is the only one that matters. 

Love is a kind of art, there’s nothing abstract in that statement - the love between people is artful, in any and all forms it takes - hence the tags; Art Worth Dying For, and Art Worth Living For.

[blauregen]

fav ♀-releases in 2018 (in no particular order)

so, since i started this list like this last year too, here we go: i know little to nothing about music, i have weird (may i say b a d) taste and my reasonings are - as expected from a subjective list - Super personal ,, also i dont follow every female k-artists so there are definitely blind spots for me too! that said ... LETS GET GAY! LETS GO LESBIANS!

Wind (바람 ) - Heize

suprise surprise, its Heize again. i was rarely this excited about a comeback this year as i was about Wind ... i adore this mini. i really love Heize’s voice, especially now that she is playing around with rapping And singing more than ever, its just ,, i hear her voice and i just, immediately calm down and feel a warm glow in me rising and --- this is getting really cheesy, isn’t it.

my fav tracks have to be Sorry and wish you well (feat. DAVII), however i can listen to this whole album without a problem - of course Jenga as the title was amazing as well, Dahye’s voice works really well with Gaeko’s as well. additionally i loved the ~design for this album, the photoshoot is stunning and the whole aesthetic is very much up my alley.

AND SINCE WE R ALREADY TALKING ABOUT DAHYE:

+ First Sight (첫눈에) - Heize

as expected, i love her winter single release as well. again, a Lovely mixture of her singing and a solid very groovy amazing rapping part. i did like her mini a lot more lyricwise (lots of it is really sad but Sorry has such smart lyrics!!!), however as a “”simple”” winter release that is meant to fit this season, this is amazing.

...... also have i mentioned how Beautiful she is, jfc.

Deine - Ha:tfelt

Oh Boy. Here we go.

this is hands-down my Favorite Release of this whole year. i don’t know if its clear, but i adore yeeun. i adore her as the person park yeeun, who is an activist and very outspoken about her position of a woman in the industry, her experiences in one of the most successful girlgroups Ever, her views on feminism and sexism, the fact that she collabed with a drag organizer for her exhibition, etc etc etc. however, i also love yeeun as Ha:tfelt and adore her music. Pluhmm is such a sensual, fun and soft and yet strong song about her Own Desires and a woman that Wants to flirt and be in love and have fun and Be sensual and its so so so lovely and warm and playful and confident? i died a little at the MV because Ha:tfelt is a Woman and is portrayed as such, she is sensual and sexy and its portrayed by yeeun dancing around a flat in the sexiest dress and feeling herself and. its just Wonderful. so wonderful. i love her. Cigar is super touching too, very smooth and slick and polished and yet it has a vulnerable touch to it and is just ,, such a good song ....... thank u yenny.

Warning - Sunmi

ANOTHER AMAZING WOMAN. if i had to choose a soloist that is more active and actively promotes and performs on music and award shows etc, i’d definitely go for Sunmi. first of all: sunmi is outstandingly hardworking, talented, tough, brave, but also so so so kind and sweet and self-aware (seriously her twitter account is my social media highlight of this year, she is beyond ADORABLE and wonderful and funny) and of course she is fucking beautiful. this album is AMAZING - i can listen to the whole tracklist without skipping a single song. i adore Siren (aesthetically its my favorite title track of hers, though i do think Gashina is a little more catchy, esp together with that choreo - but i Love Siren’s horror-esque MV with the, well, siren-mermaid-imagery, so good!) but personally my favorite SONGS are ADDICT and Black Pearl - both sound very different actually, one being completely in English, but it just shows how well Sunmi can pull of different styles. god ... have u seen her on stage? shes a m a z i n g.

KHAN - I’m Your Girl ?

I started following Euna and Minju already before they debuted ... but what really made me fall in love with both their voices, be it singing or rapping (cause both are quite good at both ,,) was their DNA cover! generally the fact that they keep posting really cool covers on their youtube channel is beyond lovely and these two really managed to make me like a version of DNA ... (probably my least favorite BTS title track, lmao ,,)

their actual debut was just lovely. the song is great, soothing and super smooth and groovy and easy to listen to, their voices are stunning in it, the MV is VERY GAY, the choreo is fun and their outfits for promotion stages were such a lovely fresh wind and i really enjoyed seeing them perform a LOT. i just really like that KHAN already is quite unique and m so so so looking forward to future comebacks!

BBIBBI - IU

no highlight list without Jieun. the lyrics to this track were solely written by her and it shows - IU is an outstanding songwriter, i adore her hard work and experience and talent. the sound of the track itself is fun and bubbly and groovy and Very catchy, but my highlight is how this conflicts so beautifully with the lyrics that are quite ... critical and rough and basically show a very very sweet lovely middle finger to the rumour-netizen-culture around her ,, i am super excited for future full releases from jieun, though i still listen to Palette a lot and think she should take all the time she needs!

Bad Boy - Red Velvet

sadly, i didnt not really enjoy Red Velvets later release this year and neither did i really dig their summer release, but what i do adore to the moon and back is their The Perfect Red Velvet - The 2nd Album Repackage, though thats a lil bit of cheating since i already mentioned their Perfect Velvet album last year ,,

Bad Boy is my favorite title track of theirs this year, the styling is OUTSTANDINGLY GOOD MY GOD and the sound is just, smooth and cool and sexy and just ... damn.

also, Red Velvet definitely has some of my favorite jacket photoshoots of this year, the quality and beauty of their photos is amazing, i could spend hours just looking at those ......... and maybe i did.

What Is Love? - TWICE

the nations girl group powered through this year and released so many catchy awesome songs that i had a hard time choosing one ,, but What Is Love is definitely my MV highlight of the year and also the song itself is so so fun and lovely and cheerful and just makes me feel happy ... thank u for making me happy, TWICE!

You And I - Dreamcatcher

i have to admit: Dreamcatcher is not really my sound. their tracks remind me a little too much of Very Loud Stressful Anime Openings, so i accept that its just not my music taste ,, HOWEVER i actually really really like You and I. the song is very catchy and has this one part right before the chorus that i really love, its a very cool mysterious “dark” awesome track. moreover though i love the Whole Package that is Dreamcatcher (again, this horror-esque style of theirs is Really Up My Alley) - their styling and choreos are so clever and SEXY and goth-y and different, its just so fucking fun to watch them perform, especially the Choreo to You and I is so so so so so cool!

(also they r somewhat of a lesbian cult and m Very Appreciative of that, my god.)

LOOΠΔ - just, the whole thing.

SO - it took me until this year to really get into Loona. i knew them beforehand and was intrigued by the unique pre-debut “schedule” that their company was doing and checked out some songs but never got into them deeper. however, this year i truly listened to the Broad Amazing Variety that Loona offers and i just Have to include them here. all the girls and the subunits are super interesting and diverse and i love how especially the solo songs all sound different and lots of things were tried out and the AESTHETICS ARE OFF THE CHARTS. their full group debut was a little too ... they played it too ~safe for my taste, however i still adore lots of LOONA songs and can only recommend them!

(my favs are So Boring, i love Egoist and Heart Attack and Singing in the Rain and New and ... i’ll get back to this once i develop an actual Interesting opinion lmao)

i Can’t possibly end this list without some honorable mentions, because girls are amazing:

- (G)I-DLE are amazing rookies and performers and just such an awesome new girlgroup. Soyeon’s stage presence is just ,, wow, she is such a good rapper and performer, but the other girls are also so amazing and m so glad they are so successful and loved so far. favorite track of this year is def HANN (Alone), though all their songs are mighty good.

- Oh My Girl. maybe i dont listen to their songs as much but m in deep love with their visuals and stages and man ... call me, Yooa, please, m free almost every night.

- fromis_9 had such a cute quirky hyper Love Bomb comeback, i loved it!

- Momoland similarly had such catchy fun songs, i gotta mention them too!

- Hyuna - i love Hyuna and i wish her all the best and happiness and love and success and i hope to see her on stage again soon! (i especially loved her in Triple H, since i was actually quite a fan of that trio and the retro funky sound they went for ...... big sigh @ cube)

- Yubin ... again, not really my sound, but man. kill me Yubin, just do it, cmon.

- EXID is back to OT5! m so happy!!! I Love You was really fun, but I definitely enjoyed DDD last year more ,, but i still wanted to mention them, such a fun, diverse, different girlgroup that offers lots of different sounds and visuals and stands out to me a lot, so so good!

- Chungha ... m still in the process of falling in love with Chungha but oh god .... have u seen her? her dancing skills are out of this world, her beauty is stunning, she is so so sweet and kind and tough and her songs m so eager to properly discover and also a rly niche point but: I LOVE HER ALBUM DESIGNS SO SO SO MUCH.

- Minseo is another new amazing soloist ,, i discovered her at first through my fav photographers instagram (@ mu_gung) who took just. outstanding pics of Minseo but i also Adore her voice and she has done Amazing covers as well, her Why So Lonely is my absolute favorite and id dare to say i like it just as much as the original ... check her out, her MV visuals and concepts are Super interesting and beautiful and fun as well!

and many many many many more that i missed or forgot!

just know: girls are the best.

[ask-bts-pls]

I’m proud to present to everyone the first ever BTS fanart Zine Hosted by me!!

Intro to all fellow artists about to join this collab: 

Hey guys.

Credit to @melly_arts for this amazing idea - yeet

If you’re new to this, read on for an idea for what everything is. Get some word meanings cleared outta your head etc.

Do know that this is a very new idea that is still in the works, so the organizers are just as new to it as you are. But it’ll all make sense as time passes.

What is it?

It’s an artist collab to create a zine that’ll go towards donating money to the Love Myself campaign started by BTS last year.

This zine in particular is a compilation of the fan-drawings, and maybe even a line art drawing which fans can color in.

Here’s what an art fanzine looks like:

Hope that clears stuff for you guys.

THEME - BTS x BT21

You have all liberty in this art. Since the Zine will be printed on a standard size printer the dimensions of your drawing should be able to fit an A5 format, which for those of you who don’t know is roughly the size of half a piece of 8.5x11 paper.

ALL ARTWORKS WILL BE FORMATTED INTO A ZINE AND NO PREORDERS WILL BE TAKEN UNTIL WE DETERMINE THE AMOUNT TO BE SPENT INTO MAKING THE ZINE.

Half of the cost of the zine goes into the works, part of it is the shipping (roughly 3 dollars?), and the rest is to go to the ”Love Myself” Campaign.

DEADLINES

The Deadline will be roughly estimated to be around late August to early September.

HOW IS IT PRINTED?

@Melly_arts (instagram) will be printing the pieces and shipping them.

Any further info will be given later.

How is the artist involved in the zine?

Each artist will get 3 pages.

 Your art piece - Page 1

The line art of the piece (for coloring)*This is optional for those of you doing realism but it would be great to include. - Page 2

A bio of the artist etc. - Page 3

Things to consider for your Bio page:

If you have an instagram or any other social media it is a must that you include at least 1.

It would be nice for you to include a self portrait (it doesn’t have to be elaborate a doodle would suffice or even your logo would be ok if you have one).

Your age and a little bio about yourself would also be nice.

*PLEASE READ*

Currently, all we’re trying to do is get an idea of how many are going to be participating in this, and determine the number of traditional and digital pieces. Once that is determined - give it a week at least - we’ll be able to send out any further details regarding how we will receive the funds, stuff for what you’d like on the bio etc.

After that, artists will get a reasonably good time period to work on their art pieces. This is around the time deadlines will be announced. Do note this won’t take effect until mid-July.

Following that, it’ll probably go into a period of sorting through submissions, and formatting the zine. Preorders are likely to take place around August-September.

Hope this gives a good idea to everybody!

PEACE

IF YOU ARE INTERESTED PLEASE CLICK THE LINK AND FILL OUT THE SIMPLE FOR HERE

If you have an instagram please message me to be added to the all important Group chat!

If not please message me as soon as possible so i can keep you updated!

I will be sending out reminders through email to those who arent in the Group chat.

I’d love if everyone would spread this around!!

#lovethroughoutthegalaxy

[girlieinterns]

An Interview with Gigi Rowe

The interns had the chance to chat with singer and Girlie client, Gigi Rowe. Here’s what she had to say about her music, her influences, and her favorite moments as a musician. 

J: What was the first show you went to?

G: I feel like there were some really iconic artists that I saw when I was young, like an artist named Anne Murray. She was one of my grandmother’s favorite singers, a Canadian singer, and she had this song called “Could I Have This Dance?” which when I was like five, my grandmother had me learn and I would sing it at family dinners. Then my grandparents took me to her show when I was really little. I grew up in New Jersey and she came through at the Garden State Arts Center.

O: How do you craft your aesthetic and persona?

G: So I grew up in New Jersey, in and out of New York City all the time and I feel like I have kind of my real story and then part of the reason I think that I created Gigi Rowe was that I was like “You know, what I don’t have to be boxed in.” Gigi Rowe isn’t this girl from New Jersey; Gigi Rowe is of the future and the past, and was an orphan at birth found wrapped in a blanket on an enchanted island. And so Gigi Rowe is a character that exists in her own fantasy world and I get to be the earthly Gigi Rowe.

C: What upcoming projects have you been working on?

G: I’ve been in the studio a lot recently. There’s a universe I come from of being a singer songwriter and then over time your creative vision gets bigger and bigger. But lately I’ve just been working with so many different writers and producers and having so many cool opportunities to work with people that I’ve always looked up to in the industry and then people that are super young and now getting chased by all the labels, so it’s fun to meet so many people and work with people at all different levels. I wrote a song with someone in Nashville that recently people are like “I really like that.” It's kind of getting into a Kate Bush meets The 1975 vibe. Also, I’m recording next week with a young producer, NATIIVE, out in LA. He’s someone I’ve been working with for the past year and doing some really fun work. It’s kind of like when you have your photograph taken by different people, you’re going to look different. The same person can be super indie and edgy, dark and black and white, or saturated and pop. I’ve definitely been on that sort of exploration. When I first met the Girlie team, it was very much a bubblegum moment because I had my music featured on the Just Dance video games. That’s been this cool ride, but it’s only a small part of the big picture. I just did a song with Brian Kennedy, he was the one behind “Disturbia” by Rihanna and Kelly Clarkson’s “What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger.” At his core, he’s an incredible piano player, so we did this beautiful raw piano track.

J: What impact do you want to make with your music?

G: I think I just want to take people on a ride and inspire people. I mean ultimately I’d love to inspire myself, which isn’t always easy. I think when you’re super creative and have tons of ideas, you can run through those quickly or you kind of feel like you can’t keep up with yourself. I think that that’s always a challenge.

J: So far in your music career what do you think is your biggest accomplishment?

G: Performing at Rock in Rio was amazing. I’ve never been to Brazil or South America, it was where the Olympics took place. Justin Timberlake was headlining and I got this opportunity to be on an arena stage for the first time and to walk out and perform my songs that were featured on Just Dance and have people singing every word in a country I’ve never been to. And to have people lined up to get pictures and autographs, it’s in that moment where it becomes very real. It’s amazing when you can see that impact.

C: Who are some of your influences?

G: I’m more like a Cyndi Lauper style performer. I come from being more of a rock and roll girl. Cyndi’s such a badass and I think her whole message and who she is is amazing. I just wrote a brand new song called “Color Outside The Lines” and I feel like it’s very “Girls Just Want to Have Fun” meets “True Colors.” That’s a really cool space to be in and I love that comparison. I saw her open up for Cher and in that moment I could really connect and be like, “Oh these are my people.” I love those iconic women where they’re larger than life and their personas are so much apart of their art.

O: Who would you like to collaborate with in the future? Who is your ultimate dream collab?

G: Wow so many thoughts in my head. I think Cyndi and Cher. And to be able to do something like be in a movie, like Cher was just in “Mama Mia” and did this whole soundtrack. To be able to be on screen with someone like Cher or Cyndi and be able to collaborate on the soundtrack would be amazing. I’ve always loved epic iconic artists like Bono or Bruce Springsteen so doing something with them would be awesome. I’m a go big or go home girl.

C: Where’s your favorite place to visit?

G: Now I’m just thinking about food. That question turned into “Where do you like to eat?” Well, I always love coming back to New York City because I feel like it’s home but at the same time always fresh and new. I feel like I romanticize cities, but Paris definitely has this allure for me. I think it’s something growing up with American pop culture and movies that the idea of Paris is very romanticized. I love so many places. I’ve been enjoying this kind of Miami, Nashville, LA, New York rotation because they’re so different but compliment each other.

O: If you could be any cupcake flavor, what would you be?

G: Such a good question. I would be a rainbow cupcake. I’ll show you a picture to illustrate. Actually, I’d like to be a cake. This place recently came on my radar, it’s called Flour Shop. I haven’t gone yet but I have to go. Okay are you ready for this? That’s me as a cake. Pop some pink champagne with that and you have Gigi Rowe!

C: If you were stranded on a deserted island, what one album would you want with you?

G: I’ve actually thought about this. Billy Joel’s “River of Dreams.” “Lullabye” is on there for his daughter and I used to loop that to go to sleep. That was what just came to mind right when you asked that.

O: What sort of music did you listen to growing up?

G: I grew up going to a lot of musical theatre. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve seen “Cats.” I think that seeing these dramatic family operas had me totally immersed. I can definitely see where that feeds into this universe that I’m inspired to create. Being taken to a lot of those shows made an impact.

C: What is one thing you can’t live without?

G: Coffee. Wow a one word answer!

O: If you had to be a Disney character in your next life, who would you be?

G: I’ve always loved Sleeping Beauty. I was kind of obsessed with her when I was little. But it would be fun to be Ariel. I want that red hair, that voice, and that prince. It would be fun to say something like Flounder, like something really random.

J: Do you have a pre-show ritual?

G: I’m still dialing that in. I wouldn’t say I’m superstitious, but I like to feel spiritually. Energy definitely means something to me. I think as I do more shows, I’m excited to get in this next incarnation of what the Gigi Rowe live experience is like.

J: What advice can you offer new musicians?

G: Run! Just kidding. Lionel Richie gave me the best advice when I met him. He told me “Just keep going.” There’s little in life that that doesn’t apply to.

Thanks again to Gigi for taking the time to chat with us here at Girlie Action. Make sure to check out her music on her website and follow her Instagram for updates! 

[dippedanddripped]

How we buy sneakers is changing, but brick-and-mortar stores are still crucial industry pillars. Not only do they bring together the community, nurture the culture, and act as an authoritative mediating force between brands and consumers, but they are also a gateway into sneaker culture and a stepping stone for many that go on to work in the industry.

Like most areas of the sneaker world, decision-making roles in retail remain largely the domain of men. In fact, of all the sneaker stores in the world — from boutiques to chain stores — less than 10 are run by women. Sadly, this isn't that surprising. Opening a store is a huge investment for anyone, but additional challenges faced by those that don't fit the stereotypical industry mold make it harder and understandably less appealing.

Susan Boyle opened cult New York store Rime (RIP) in 2007, and as one of the first women to run an independent sneaker boutique, she knows better than most the difficulties faced. “I wasn't taken seriously for a long time," she explains. "I do feel that I faced a lot of challenges in the sneaker business because of my gender, and looking back now, 14 years later, the fact that I was even acknowledged in the industry and that I was able to do collaborations and break some barriers is pretty amazing, because no one really wanted a woman there in the first place."

Similarly, Kickslove owner Lisa Barlow was forced to close the London-based store in 2018. "My biggest challenge was access to the product that the other independent sneakerhead stores were getting. It was really disappointing not to have been supported by the big brands — all sneaker stores' business relies upon carrying the best products from the leading brands," shares Barlow. "Brands can make the most impact not just by writing women's strategies, but actually executing it with a special focus on the entire female demographic and with inclusivity in mind. Then, follow through with them locally through access to product, local marketing, or bringing awareness to a retailer through events that will help elevate them in a crowded and mainly male space. A lot of brands are pushing a purposeful agenda now, and nothing is more purposeful and powerful than helping young female entrepreneurs find their space in the industry." Barlow now runs Kicksloved, an online platform for sustainable and preloved sneakers.

To keep pushing towards parity and opening up sneaker culture to a wider and more diverse customer base, seeing that same diversification reflected in retail ownership is essential. Despite the difficulties, we're thankfully heading in that direction and there are now more women-owned stores than ever. We spoke to those blazing the trail around the world about retail’s role in creating an inclusive community and what they’re doing to amplify the voices of those overlooked in the sneaker industry.

Venita Cooper – Silhouette

Address: 10 N. Greenwood Ave, Suite C, Tulsa, OK 74133, USA (map) Website: silhouettetulsa.com Instagram: @silhouettetulsa

What sets Silhouette apart from other sneaker stores?

We try to support and elevate the community, the city. Our store is a love letter to this place. We carry local Black-owned apparel brands, feature local artists amplifying locally-relevant messages, partner with local vendors, host events that our community might find value in. We had a voter registration campaign, launched kids' streetwear designed by students at a local elementary school, paid rent for families at the end of the year, etc.

Silhouette is located on Tulsa’s Black Wall Street on the same spot as a shoe store that burned down during the 1921 Race Massacre. Why was it important for you to reclaim this location?

While Black-owned businesses exist all over the city now, no longer restricted by legal segregation, Black Wall Street is still an important symbol of entrepreneurial success for the Black community. I greatly value the opportunity to carry on that legacy of success with a business concept that I think would have existed if the community was allowed to evolve without racism and violence. Sneaker culture has its roots in Black culture.

What would you like to see brands do to better champion women and especially Black women?

Listen to women! And make cool stuff for them! Invest in them; use your incredible marketing tools to amplify their role in the culture. If you're putting money into communities, put that money toward issues that affect women and specifically Black women.

Abby Albino & Shelby Weaver – Makeway

Address: Stackt Market, 28 Bathurst St Unit 2-101, Toronto, Ontario, Canada (map) Website: shopmakeway.co Instagram: @makeway.co

What is Makeway doing to amplify women’s voices in the sneaker industry?

Makeway is and always will be a space for our community. Although it is owned by two women, we are not here to decide what women need. We are here to connect with our community and then provide products, programming, resources, a space, and brand connections based on their needs. Makeway doesn’t belong to us; it belongs to our community, and that will be the foundation for everything we do.

How can sneaker stores help raise the voices of those who have been historically disadvantaged in the industry?

The unfortunate part is those who have been historically disadvantaged in the industry are also mostly responsible for the mainstream popularity of sneaker culture. For example, Black culture is synonymous with sneaker culture, yet a huge portion of the people benefiting financially from the industry are white. And what about the launch of the Go Fly Ease — we’ve seen many consumers living with disabilities unable to purchase shoes that were literally made for them. Or women who can’t get their hands on female collabs or exclusives that were made for them because they’re being bought up by male resellers. Sneaker stores — us included — need to recognize and acknowledge these inequities and be a part of the solution, not the problem.

How can women-owned sneaker stores influence brands to better serve the women's community?

Brands have already identified women as a key priority for their businesses and that puts us at an advantage. They're looking to us to help them understand the consumer more and by being transparent with our needs, wants, and expectations, we can influence how they serve us. For example, instead of buying what they believe to be a key style or product for women, we challenge them and explain why we believe something will or will not work. We also know women are not just one size/style fits all, so we are requesting access to more than just women's products. We want access to it all.

Saskia van Hofwegen – Maha

Address: Vijzelstraat 129, 1017 HJ Amsterdam, Netherlands (map) Website: maha-amsterdam.com Instagram: @maha_amsterdam

What’s the most important thing you’ve learned while running a women’s sneaker store?

That it’s an ever-evolving market, where on the one hand you’ve got your own vision and on the other, there’s the consumer. The challenge is to always listen to your customers while staying true to your vision and be as authentic as possible.

Have you noticed any changes in the buying habits of women since you opened?

Yes, 100 percent. The women’s market has grown immensely since we opened our doors. There are so many new and different consumers buying sneakers and using sneakers as their main footwear type. When we started, girls lining up for shoes was considered crazy and only a handful of troopers knew the concept. Now there are multiple girls lining up almost on a weekly basis, as the girls now know that they have to be on time if they really want it.

How are expanded size runs impacting your store and its customers?

We don't have to shop at the kid's section anymore and we don't only have “pink it and shrink it” versions of the shoes we want. By focusing on product and having the biggest offering in these styles and sizes, our store and website have grown from a small city local supplier to be able to cater to female sneakerheads all over the world.

Murata Prajumas – Sole Finess

Address: 358a Smith Street, Collingwood, Melbourne, Victoria 3066, Australia (map) Website: solefiness.com Instagram: @solefiness

Australia is far removed from the sneaker and streetwear scenes of Europe and North America. How have you cultivated the local sneaker community?

Australian women’s love for sneakers and streetwear has been around just as long as anywhere else. Unfortunately, we haven’t had access to the same products as Europe and America, which has definitely set us back. Being the first women’s sneaker store here has come with its own challenges, but the support has been positive, which really reinforces the need for a strong women’s sneaker presence.

Do you think the emergence of dedicated women's sneaker stores has resulted in brands taking the women’s sneaker industry more seriously?

Absolutely, and it’s about time. Over the years, I’ve noticed a much wider selection of products offered to us and more accessibility to unisex sizing, which has always been one of the biggest barriers for a lot of women. It has come a long way and I only see things getting better for us.

What do you think the future holds for women in the sneaker industry?

I would hope for more creative control when designing sneakers for women and marketing sneakers to women. Historically, it has been a male-dominated space, but women need to be recognized for what they have already achieved and, given the opportunity, I think they will make an even greater impact going forward.

Lauren Amos – Wish

Address: 447 Moreland Avenue Atlanta, GA 30307, USA (map) Website: wishatl.com Instagram: @wishatl

What does Wish bring to the local sneaker community?

Wish ATL is the premier streetwear shop in Atlanta. Our customers travel far and wide to shop with us because we bring a level of authenticity to the community. Our clients include celebrities — entertainers, actors, athletes — but the majority of our clients are young, African-American men and women who live in Atlanta. Wish is known as a place where you can find the best product of local and international brands. We offer local talent an opportunity to use our platform to have their voices heard. We continually bring events, dialogue, ideas, and experiences to our local community. Wish is part of a dynamic and eclectic creative community called Little 5 Points, where people of all backgrounds converge.

How does Wish raise the voices of women in the industry?

We connect with other women in the industry as often as we can. As the founder, I have been privileged to mentor several young women. They have gone on to do great things in fashion and entertainment. We have hosted events focused on women, most recently the launch of Jordan women’s apparel. Wish has featured several women artists in our gallery space. We also support female-run institutions like Spelman College Museum of Fine Art who focus on female artists of the African diaspora. Being female-owned and run, it’s our natural desire to see the next generation of women step up and conquer.

How can women-owned sneaker stores influence brands to better serve the female community?

We must serve our customers well. We carry clothing, sneakers, and accessories for women and listen to what they want. We listen to their stories and use our voices/her voice when speaking to the brands we carry. We know the importance and necessity of her mark on this community. And being in Atlanta, we are overwhelmed by all of the amazing female talent surrounding us. We will continue to work with a diverse group of women designers and influencers ensuring our voice as women grows stronger.

Rio Holland & Bethany Haggarty – pam pam

Address: 129 Bethnal Green Road, London E2 7DG, UK (map) Website: pampamlondon.com Instagram: @pampamlondon

What made you decide to open a store and how difficult was it to establish yourselves?

There wasn't a place for women to shop a curated selection of sneakers alongside clothing and lifestyle in the UK. Since opening, we have found a real increase in what is available for women, particularly in sneakers. We actually came along just at the right time. Women’s sneakers were a major focus for all the major brands — they just didn't have a women's-specific door to place their top-tier product.

What improvements have you noticed for women sneakerheads since you opened your store?

It really has come a long way since our very first season in the spring of 2015. The major brands have been making it their mission to increase their women's business and we are definitely seeing the fruits of their labor. There is still a way to go as far as what colorways are available and releases just for women, but it's been so positive seeing the growth. To note: unisex product is also on the rise, which is excellent, too.

How do you think female representation and involvement in the sneaker industry will evolve over the coming years?

As brands continue to release bigger ranges for women, we hope to see more women-specific marketing campaigns and collaborations. One thing to remember is that sometimes the sneaker world can be drowned out by all the hype releases. There are plenty of women wearing sneakers, but if it's not hype, it sometimes feels like it goes unseen or doesn't count. So the more the brands shout about women's products, the more we'll all notice the strong female representation in the sneaker industry.

Stine L. Pedersen – Naked

Address: Klosterstraede 10, 1157 Copenhagen, Denmark (map); Store Torv 7, 8000 Aarhus, Denmark (map); Pilestræde 46, 1112 Copenhagen, Denmark (map) Website: nakedcph.com Instagram: @nakedcph

How do you keep your social media presence fresh when you’re catering to so many different types of women?

We tend to use pastel colors to invert the stereotype but keep our Instagram looking uniform. The aim is to steer clear of the super-dark, overly contrasted imagery that’s typically seen on male-focused accounts. We also have a franchise called "Friday Fit," where we reshare our customers’ posts.

You’ve expanded to three locations. Have you noticed any differences or similarities between customers in different areas?

The two stores in Copenhagen tend to get a more diverse array of visitors, mainly because they're situated in the city center. Teenage girls are probably our most loyal store customers across all three locations, so we’ve tried to create an ambiance that suits them, from the oversized mirrors to the floors coated in signature naked pink.

[houseofvans]

ART SCHOOL | TEDDY KELLY | VANS US OPEN OF SURFING 2017

We’re stoked to announce artist Teddy Kelly as our fourth muralist at this year’s 2017 Vans US Open of Surfing along with Lauren Asta, Andrew Pommier, and Jack Graydon!  Originally from Mazatlan Sinaloa, Teddy left Mexico City and came to the US to pursue an art career, bringing his artistic talent and unique vision to a new audience. His style is graphic and fluid–from line driven graphic character work to more abstract color gradients–and his work is ever-present, having been on everything from skateboards, apparel to large scale walls. We’re so excited to chat with Teddy and find out about how he started in art, what the art scene and finally what event he is most looking forward to at this year’s Vans US Open of Surfing! 

Photographs courtesy of the artist

Introduce yourself  Hi My Name is Teddy Kelly and your watching the biggest looser!

What’s your art background like? Self taught or art schooled?   I was self thought I did some school years never nothing of serious art only general education and some classes at SD city college design program which was a turning point in my life and the major reason why I'm  here today.

What’s the best thing you learned in art school or what’s the best thing you learned while teaching yourself? No a lot of art school for me. I've been learning from others and usually wisdom comes from the most random people lol people that aren't even trying to teach me.. I take the best out of other whatever applies to me and put it to practice not just art wise but in life. There's only a handful of real humble people or artist that will actually share they joy of having the opportunity to do this for a living and actually share things hoping that that knowledge transcend and then there's creatures full of Ignorance and ego's.  Beware. lol

This is your first year participating as an artist painting inside the bowl at the Vans US Open of Surfing!  What are some of your top 5 things you're sure to bring along?   Yes my first thanks for that to you guys!  My surfboard , skateboard, xtra brushes, caps, and myself.

Tell us about how you started out painting murals? What was the first mural you can remember doing? What was the last mural?   I was In Madrid Spain at Arco Festival assisting Charles Glaubitz as part of the Mexico pavilion crew, Charles was a friend and mentor and asked me if I wanted to come paint and I've been painting since then.

How do you approach a mural project and painting large scale work? What about this particular part of the process do you enjoy the most?  What do you do with mistakes if you make any? Well in reality everything happens on it's own each mural is different and walls surfaces act differently so that might be the most difficult part making sure everything is gonna go smooth. As far as the art/composition and tracing into the wall is not as hard once you know what u gonna do it's a done deal you just go to town small or big is the same to me is all therapy. Mistakes are cool. all depends how you deal with them.

Not only are you active in the art scene in US but you’ve also worked to create shows and bring art to Mexico / Mexico City.  Can you tell us about the art scene in Mexico!  How’s it similar and diff to the scene here? Actually I wasn't as familiar to the art scene down there, I started here in the U.S. so there wasn't really anything like a scene at that time I left, Mexico City has a lot of talent as is a bigger city but I wasn't connected to that area plus I grew up in Mazatlan Sinaloa which is considered very much influenced by the Northern culture. I did was on a big show with a bunch of  International art scene Icons and skate art legends in which I was fortunate enough to be invited too early in my career but even then things where kinda not so know as they are now.

Once the internet hit our country a lot more people was popping up and a lot more where expose to this sub cultures that carryout art like skateboarding and surfing in my case. We have such rich culture and talents but is harder to make a living back there, I came here not even knowing I will be doing this so coming for money and art wasn't my initial reason more than I was able to come and go due to my dual citizenship  and school was supposed to be better at a college Leven and cheaper that private school in Mexico.  Most recently we went and participated on that Mural Festival at Ecatepec Mexico at Edo. of Mexico great experience thankful for the opportunity.

Favorite Vans? And how would you describe your personal style?     Classics,  sk8-Hi and Old Skools I used them all I have them all I love them all.

Personal words to live by? Live by Sea Die by Sea

What event at this year’s Vans US Open of Surfing are you most looking forward to checking out?  Skate and poly gonna be surfing early in the am my self before the contest starts not really a contest surfer guy.

For folks who wanna follow in your path, what advice would you give them?  Work hard, Visualize urself wherever you want to be and once ur there work harder to maintain it and never quit. Also make sure you enjoy what ur doing and don't worry about what u see out there or what other peoples are doing handle the business with respect and to others and humble urself as you become more successful and not the other way around. shit will come to you.

What do you have planned for the rest of 2017? Nowadays I'm learning to enjoy the fruits of life starting with my Family, I'm a dad and so being with my daughter and wife we have an amazing life, we just back at the beach at trestles from LA I'm back to surfing and exercising lot more and staying busy in and outside art, lost of beach, surf, good food, good times and just enjoying the journey couldn't ask for more. Couple new collabs, murals an shows coming up. Jah bless!

Follow Teddy Kelly Website |  www.teddykelly.com Instagram | @teddykelly Tumblr | @teddykelly

[userlando]

Taste The Sweet (Grayson Smut)

Summary: You’re a Youtuber, hanging around the H&M tent at Coachella. Grayson is your biggest fan. Word Count: 2,861 Warnings: Fingering. A/N: Thank you to the anon who sent this idea in! This is all your idea, I’m just writing it out. I didn’t want to post the request because it contains “spoilers” but this imagine is basically what the anon requested. Hope you like this one! (title from Don’t Be So Shy by Imany)

“Turn your head a little to the side...” The photographer gestured with her hand, cocking her head to the left so you smiled and complied. “Perfect. Now smile.”

The flash went off a few times as she snapped her photos, and you tried to stay still and let her do the work but you were feeling too excited. Earlier today you had arrived in Palm Springs, ready to head over to the festival and show off your outfit that you had spent three weeks planning beforehand.

You didn’t know how you had gotten so lucky. One minute you had been uploading your pictures on instagram and it had blown up, gaining over a hundred thousand followers the first few months. By the time you had reached five hundred thousand, you had started up a Youtube channel, and a year later you had gained over two million on your channel and been invited to numerous events. Coachella being one of them.

“Thank you, Y/N.” The photographer smiled at you and you thanked her back, shuffling to the side so other’s could occupy the couch and have their pictures taken.

You whipped out your phone, bringing out Snapchat so you could record a bit for your fans to see. But just as you were about to press record, you heard your name being called out. You turned around in confusion, smile breaking out on your face as you spotted a familiar face.

“Ethan!” You exclaimed, watching the twins walk up to you. “Wow, you guys look amazing.”

And they did, with their bandanas tied around their heads and the vests showing off their toned stomachs. This was the first time seeing them in real life, only having talked to Ethan about a possible collab in the future. Ethan hugged you quickly, bringing you out of your thoughts.

“Y/N, this is Gray.” He gestured toward his brother that was standing beside him, smile on his lips and hands in his pockets.

“Hi, I’m Y/N.” You waved with your hand, feeling your stomach do a swoop as he made eye contact with you.

You refrained from frowning, not really knowing where that feeling had come from. Grayson had followed you on Instagram a while back, liking every picture you posted and you’d done the same. This didn’t go unnoticed by the fans from both your parts, speculation and arguments rising as they started bombarding you both with shipping comments. It was cute and you wished that it could’ve been true, but looking at Grayson now, it didn’t seem like that would be the case. You didn’t know whether he was nervous or just completely uninterested.

“Did you have your pictures taken?” Ethan went on to ask, breaking the small silence between you three. He glanced at the photographer who had just finished snapping photos of Tyler Posey.

“I already have, yeah.” You answered, just as the photographer approached you.

“Can I get a photo of the three of you?” She asked and you nodded eagerly.

The three of you set off after her, you and Ethan making small talk as she came to a halt in front of a large hedge, directing you to stand in the middle and the twins at either side of you. You put your hands around their waists, trying to ignore the way Grayson clutched his hands against your side, fingers stroking your rib. You didn’t know whether to curse yourself for deciding to wear a bralette or to thank yourself for doing so. Just for this sole purpose.

“Feels weird, doesn’t it?” Ethan asked with a small laugh and you giggled.

“I’m definitely not used to it just yet. It’s gonna take some time.” You answered, raising your head slightly to get a better angle, trying not to blink as the flash went off over and over again.

You stood there with your arms around each other for quite a while, having H&M take photos for the press and for Instagram.

“I have to go meet up with my friend, but I guess I’ll catch you later?” You asked as you untangled yourself from their holds, stepping back.

“Absolutely. Have fun, Y/N.” Ethan shot you a grin and a small wave.

You glanced at Grayson, not knowing what to expect but all you got was a small smile and a wave. So you nodded at them and bid them goodbye, turning to walk out of the tent. Your friend was standing a few feet away, looking around as she waited for you. She slung her arm around your neck as you approached her, smacking a kiss to your cheek and you laughed when the smell of alcohol reached your nose.

“Hello, miss.” She greeted you, steering you in the direction to a foodtruck not far from you. “Did you have fun?”

“I did, took lots of photos and I talked to Tyler Posey.” You smirked as she pulled her arm back and stared at you in shock.

“Oh my God, no way? I so regret not going with you now.” She pouted and stomped her foot on the grass like a child.

You laughed and hooked your arm with her, leading her over to a truck that sold ice-cream. As you paid for your treats, you could hear whispers behind you, so you turned around and came face to face with three girls.

“Oh my God, it really is you!” One of them gasped, her hands flying to her mouth to cover it.

“Hello!” You greeted with a laugh, stepping to the side so you wouldn’t hold off the line. The man in the truck grunted out a thanks and you smiled sheepishly at him.

“Can we get pictures with you? If it’s not a bother.” One of them asked and you nodded. “Thank you!”

You posed with the girls, ending up talking to them for a few minutes. And as you started to round up the conversation, one of the girls said something that made you stop.

“I really love the picture of you and the twins, by the way. You look so good together!”

You opened your mouth and closed it, not really knowing what to say. What picture was she talking about?

“You and Grayson would have the cutest babies.” The third one said and her friends giggled. “Best genes ever.”

You blushed furiously, laughing awkwardly and thanking them. The girls left eventually and you were left standing with your friend who was now frowning.

“Twins?” She asked in confusion and you saw the exact moment when realization dawned on her face. “Holy crap! You met the Dolan twins?”

You winced, because you knew the interrogation was coming. If you would rate the hardcore shippers, then the fans were a seven and your friend was an eleven. She loved to gush about Grayson, teasing you about how he’d like every picture you posted on Instagram. The funniest moment was when Grayson had mentioned you during one of their videos, deeming you as his favorite Youtuber. She wouldn’t shut up about it for weeks afterwards.

“So, how was it?” She asked and you laughed.

“It was... weird,” You frowned, thinking back on it. “Ethan was a sweetheart. We took pictures and talked for a bit. Grayson was really quiet though, it didn’t seem like he wanted to be there at all.”

Your friend frowned, disappointment written all over her face. And then she smiled as if she’d had an ephiphany, reaching for her satchel to fish out her phone. You watched her in confusion.

“Oh God, he actually posted a picture of the three of you!” She gasped and your eyes widened. “The fans are going wild!”

You stepped up so you could get a look at the picture and sure enough, Grayson had posted a photo of the three of you. One of the many selfies you had taken, his head tilted your way with a gorgeous smile on his face as he posed. The fans really had no filter in his comment section. You read the caption, trying not to smile at what he’d written. “Met the gorgeous Y/N today! Was so nervous, haha #coachella”

“You know what you should do?” She asked, tone mischievous and you shrugged. “Comment on his picture with something cryptic.”

“Cryptic? Like what?” You asked, reaching for your phone in your backpocket.

You typed in Grayson’s name in the searchbar, bringing the picture up on the screen. A giggle escaped your lips as your finger doubletapped it, liking the picture.

“Hmm,” Your friend narrowed her eyes, finger tapping her bottom lip as she mulled over the thought. “Oh! Write ‘See you later’ and then a winkey face.”

You ignored the nervous pounding in your chest as you typed what she’d told you to, biting back a smile as you pressed send. The fans were quick, already catching your comment and writing in all capslock. You locked your phone before you could read any comments, feeling giddy.

“Good girl, now let’s go dance.”

After dancing through three sets of performances from different artists, you emerged from the crowd drenched in sweat. It was past eleven but the festival was still in full swing. By some weird miracle, you had bumped into Cameron Dallas and his group of friends, so it was only natural that they decided to head back with you to a tent where a VIP party was being held.

A few drinks later and you were dancing, goofing off with Cameron’s group and your friend. You had the time of your life, feeling like you were on top of the world as you danced against Cameron, laughing when he pulled a silly face.

“Y/N, look.” Your friend shouted in your ear over the music, gripping your arm to get your attention.

You slowed your movements and looked over at her in confusion before following her stare. There he was, by the small bar, standing with his brother and nursing their drinks as they talked to some people you couldn’t care less about. Your movements halted as you realized that Grayson wasn’t even paying attention to what was being said in the ongoing conversation, hazel eyes locked on you. A rush of heat surged through you as you stared at each other and you felt your face grow hot when his lips pulled into a small, subtle smirk.

“I’m gonna get a drink.” Cameron’s voice in your ear caught you off guard and you watched as Grayson’s lips pulled into a tight line. You turned your head toward the brunette in front of you.

You nodded mutely and watched him walk away before turning your attention back to Grayson. His eyebrow cocked and he put down his glass on the barcounter without breaking eye contact, turning to walk out of the tent.

Your throat dried up as you watched him walk off, turning to your friend who was giggling at whatever Cameron’s friend was whispering in her ear.

“Hey, I’ll be right back, alright?” You said in her ear and she nodded in confusion. But one glance over your shoulder and she smiled smugly.

You rolled your eyes, not bothering to hold back your smile as you turned around and walked out of the tent.

It was deserted outside and you looked around, not really sure where Grayson had gone. A gasp fell from your lips as a hand gripped your hand, pulling you into a secluded area where you wouldn’t be seen. You opened your mouth to scream but a hand was placed ontop of your mouth, silencing you as you were pressed against a toned chest. Your heart was speeding up and you were about to struggle when you heard the person chuckle, his breath hitting your exposed neck.

“It’s me, calm down.” Grayson whispered and you instantly relaxed, willing your heart to slow down as you breathed out through your nose. The hand over your mouth traveled down your front and you held your breath as his fingers touched your cleavage, fingers dragging over your sunkissed skin.

His hand touched the skin of your exposed stomach, stopping right underneath your bellybutton. It was quiet between you two, the only sound coming from the tent a good few feet away from the both of you and the sounds of you both breathing. You held your breath in suspense, not believing what was happening.

“Tell me to stop and I will.” He murmured lowly against your neck, lips grazing your skin and you shivered, barely able to hold back a gasp.

“Don’t,” You swallowed. “Don’t stop.”

As if on que, his hand worked the beltbuckle of your shorts and you watched in amazement as he undid it with only one hand, the other one still gripping the side of your waist. You marveled at how big his hands looked on your body and squeezed your eyes shut as his hand dipped inside your shorts, inside your underwear.

“Oh,” You gasped, arching into his touch as he ran a long finger between your slicked folds. “Gray.”

He hushed you, pressing a kiss to the crook of your neck.

“So wet for me, baby.” He muttered quietly and you gasped once more when his finger snubbed against your clit, a surge of dizziness hitting you as he felt between your folds.

You kept your eyes squeezed shut, mouth dropped open in a small ‘o’ as he brought a finger and pushed it inside you, feeling the heat and slickness that he had caused. You arched your back and pushed into his hand, silently begging him to touch you where you needed it the most.

He complied with a low hum, his wide thumb drawing small circles over your clit. You hissed when he pushed a second finger inside you, gripping his arms as you arched your back even further.

“Yeah? You like that?” His voice sounded thick with lust and you almost felt like falling over, feeling grateful that he was holding you up.

He pressed the front of his body against you and you pushed back when you felt his erection against your ass, giggling when you heard his sharp intake of breath. However, your laughter got stuck in your throat and you moaned out loud when he proceeded to curl his fingers inside you, hitting you just right; the nail of his thumb touching you just right.

“Shhh...” He hushed you, hand on your waist coming up to press against your mouth. You moaned out against his hand, feeling your body burn as he touched you just right. “Quiet baby girl.”

It was only then that you heard something not far from where you were standing. Voices. They seemed to be getting closer as people entered and got out of the tent, talking loudly. You held your breath, willing yourself not to make a peep as Grayson continued his ministrations with his hands.

The voices faded eventually, and that’s when you realized how close you really were to reaching your high. Your fingernails dug into Grayson’s arms, almost breaking the skin as you arched your back.

“That’s my good girl,” He murmured in praise and you could almost hear the smugness in his voice as he drew circles over your clit, curling his fingers even further inside you.

Your vision went white and you gasped against his hand, body writhing against his body as you exploded. The blood rushed to your ears and you could faintly hear Grayson praising you, but you were too busy twitching and moaning to even acknowledge anything. He drew his fingers out when you whimpered from the sensitivity, hand leaving your shorts but still holding your body against his until you could find your footing again.

When it felt like you could breathe normally, you finally turned around and met his eyes for the first time since you stepped outside the tent. He was smirking, face flushed and eyes darker than they’d been before.

You could almost feel the twitches from your orgasm, still wracking your body and you placed your hands on your shoulders to regain strength.

“Those are some magical hands you’ve got there, Grayson.” You whispered with a small laugh, sounding out of breath.

Grayson grinned, bringing his hand that had been inside you to his mouth. Your mouth dropped open as he popped the fingers inside, sucking your juices off of them with a hum. His eyelashes fluttered against his flushed cheeks as he closed his eyes, opening them again when he heard your disbelieving laughter.

“You’re insane.” You laughed and he smiled at you.

“Tasted just as good as I’d imagined.” He said and stepped forward, pressing his lips against yours before you had time to even react to what he’d said.

You kissed back, arms going around his waist as he cupped the side of your face with his hand.

“There’s something about you,” He whispered against your lips and you felt your heart flutter. “You make me so nervous but you also make me feel so brave at the same time.”

You responded by pressing your lips to his once again, this time fully intending on never stopping.