#this was the episode that had me jumping on tumblr and creating this blog to find my peeps to discuss this incredible show with

[aphfanficwriters]

Every month we will pose a question and collate responses as a fun and informal little exercise in getting to know each other and spark discussion.

For Hetalia's 18th anniversary, we asked our writers:

“How did you first get into Hetalia?”

Beetroot / @council-of-beetroot: People had recommended it to me prior since I'm a geography nerd but I heard it was offensive. At one point I read a fanfic about Hetalia Lithuania and that piqued my interest. But then like six months, around March of 2022, later I recalled my sister talking about a funny scene from Hetalia. So I decided to look up Hetalia out of context on YouTube. I decided nothing could be more offensive than I was at 13 so I watched that and then knew I had to watch the show. I watched the show in a weekend. It was particularly funny to watch at the time because my best friends that year in highs were foreign exchange students from Germany and Japan. Anyway here I am now.

Angel / @billowingangel: I got into Hetalia around 2015 by reading x Reader fanfiction and I stumbled upon a Germany x Reader on DeviantArt and then I went down a rabbit hole of the Hetalia countries x readers. The x reader fanfiction comforted me immensely as I was struggling greatly at the time and that was probably the worst time of my life. Then I found other Hetalia fanfiction and fanart, and I then watched some of the episodes on YouTube. Since then Hetalia has been something of great comfort and nostalgia to me. Hetalia honestly means so much to me and there's been so many lovely people in this fandom that I’ve had the pleasure of interacting with 💗

Didi / @teaedon: Searched my country on deviantart, found Hetalia OCs comics. Watched the anime when it had just 1 or 2 seasons out (both 2009), and began to keep up with blog and page translations on Livejournal (did I understand English at the time? Barely lmao). Then jumped from Livejournal to Tumblr but because a funny-unrelated-to-Heta blog, but soon more than later I started following Hetalia blogs... Made my sideblog in 2015; I should have done that sooner, it's around that time that my actual main fandom was another for a while. Even with the manga hiatus ending in 2021 (also new anime season), I only fully returned in 2022. No fics until... 2023, omg (the deleted ff.net one from when I was in school doesn't count).

Tama / @delgumofics: Back in 2012 my sister suggested I check it out, said it was funny. I watched ep1 subbed and by the end I had a glassy look in my eyes, shut it off, and promptly forgot about it. Later on it was on Netflix so I gave the dub a shot and died laughing. I binged the whole original run in a couple days then started looking at fics.

Eru / @eruverse: I first learned of Hetalia around well 10 years ago, but couldn’t get properly into it. I alrd liked Vanya but that was that [...] I properly got into Hetalia after they released Indonesia, so it was just around 2021. Was immediately thrown into Netherlands/Indonesia, the beloved ship of Indonesian fandom, creating fanarts for them and brainrotting with other Indonesian fans. Good times! Ah, NLID… other Indonesia ships would simply not compare to the weight of history, emotional baggage, and all kinds of other baggage of this one ship. You should check it out, and being Indonesian I have the front seat for accessing juicy historical materials. Nobody in the fandom knows the special side of Netherlands that Indonesians do.

@folightening: Bought and watched the first season a long time ago, I think it was out of curiosity. I remember people talking about it at school and I recognized the name at the store so I got the first season to check out. Didn't do anything more with it until ~2 years ago I think? Watched it again on a whim, bought the series in a collection set, found where I could read it, got my writer's block shattered, and the rest is history.

Yukihitomi / @arthurhonda: This is actually a funny story. So it was back in 2011, and my friend recommended it to me because I like history and was a history kid. It also had nekotalia, and I love cats. Combine the two, and it was a good recomendation. Ironically, she said "don't get into the fandom." Clearly, I didn't listen.

Ash / Lutz: A friend told me the anime was really funny so we watched a few episodes of it when we were in high school. I was hooked and almost immediately started googling amecan fanart lmao

Prush / @proosh: I can't remember exactly but I think my discovery of it was connected to the old DeviantArt series Scandinavia and the World? But it was around 2011, I'm pretty sure, and I got into it via the dubbed parts uploaded to Youtube. It activated me like a sleeper agent, having already had an early interest in history, and I've been trapped in here ever since.

Lacy: I randomly found the series while I was reading some news. (Think it was back in 2013-14). Sort of got very obsessed with it and was joining groups left and right, bought fktons of merch for a lot of characters. (i just love them all crazy at that point of time) One of the groups i was in decided to hold some event and thats where i wrote my first fic. Then theres so much stupid drama i just withdrew eventually and kept to myself with just one ship. (At this point there was this one person who was writing with me). Then came the time when she left as well, so I did question at that point if i still want to stay in this fandom alone (and i did, because i just want to finish up my wips 🫠).

Mossman / @one-more-mossman: I don't remember exactly how I did get into Hetalia , but I checked out the date of my first Hetalia pfp and it's December of 2012. I remember being super into Ivan and putting him on all my pfps and telling my friends about him and being all mushy and stupid. I had pretty limited access to the internet at that time, and didn't speak any English, so I wasn't a part of the Hetalia fandom - neither the English speaking nor Russian. So I didn't know he was an unstoppable rape truck y'know. I was drawing him and just silently vibing with him. I got into the actual fandom about three years ago - was a lurker first, not interacting aside from leaving kudos/comments, then got into fic writing (for English speaking fandom, I thought it was more lively than the Russian one). Found wonderful people here. Happy to be here, glad to have people sharing my interests. (Notice there is not a single mention of liking history. I don't like it. I can't remember a single fact.)

WhiteWings / @smuttyandabsurd: Gosh everyone started so much later than me... Anyway back in 2007, my sister forwarded a random USUK fanart to me on deviantArt simply because "it's BL and you might like it." I binged the first season of the anime and was tickled enough to keep watching as further seasons came out. I was already casually interested in history - it was my second favourite school subject behind English lit - but after Hetalia? Yeah I was reading the densest modern history nonfictions around, hovering in the military history section of the library among random middle-aged men, and writing rapetruck smutfics with a ~historical~ flavour. Anyway, 17 years later, everything from the way I consume Hetalia and tangentially-related topics to my writing has had a dramatic evolution from my humble weeb-y beginnings, but I'm still in this dang ass fandom and I can't find the exit.

Sicily: I was into countryhumans and I came across it, and was like, pft I'm never going to like hetalia.., and now we are here

[omamervt]

This is gonna come off as a weird rant probably but that's fine. I'm not looking for advice, really, I just feel the need to say it.

I've been given praise in the past for managing 3 different socials for LiteralCatPod, but the truth is, it really is the biggest strain of producing the show. I've talked in the past about how thinly spread LiteralCatPod is on socials, and how I feel like I'm not doing enough for any of them. And this has prompted people to tell me about stuff like Postybirb, which I'm sure is all done out of a genuine place of wanting to help, but mass-posting tools are really only helpful when your posts are all formatted the same, and LiteralCatPod's can't be.

Outside Tumblr, linking to other sites will get your post de-prioritized in the algorithm, so to show devs that someone's thinking about their game, and to help our audience find its source without having our posts buried, we tag creators as much as possible. We also obviously tag collaborators. This is important to us because if you ignore the big corporate/licensed games, TTRPGs are a niche scene, with one specific game sucking up most of the oxygen in it. Even if we're making light of the process, I think people would like to know that someone is showing some love to at least one aspect of their game.

Tagging gets tricky when people have different usernames on different sites, sites format their usernames in different ways, and not everyone has a presence on every site we post to. So I can't pre-format a bunch of posts, and while it might be possible to schedule posts on Tumblr, the fact that I can't schedule a thread on Twitter or Bluesky means that I have to post those all manually. And while I wouldn't call myself lucky to be under-employed, I am lucky to be free the mornings my show releases so that I can manually make those posts.

and like, I'm genuinely not sure what I can do about it. Manually posting to 3 sites can easily take an hour every other wednesday morning, and I've never once successfully dragged myself out of bed in time to start posting when the episode actually airs, it's always a couple hours later. And maybe that doesn't actually make a difference, I don't know. But it often doesn't feel like the posts are making a difference anymore either. Twitter gives increasingly diminishing returns but it's still used by more RPG publishers than Bluesky or Tumblr. Some of them are on Threads but that's a bigger privacy nightmare than the YouTube app and, being a Facebook product, it's almost entirely pay-to-win, and there's no way in hell I jump into that. I feel like the show's reach on Tumblr is entirely at the whim of a handful of popular TTRPG gimmick blogs, which nevertheless rarely translates to new listeners. And Bluesky... I've never figured out Bluesky. It looks like Twitter, the users act like it's Twitter, down to the toxic, controlling, manipulative behavior surrounding who you follow and what posts you like, but the site is functionally not Twitter, at least not yet. Never tried Mastodon, I know a lot of people like it but the decentralized structure just seems like too much of a mess to wade into, and everyone who's tried to reassure me about my concerns just make it sound worse.

I created the public Discord because... well we were thinking about it anyway and ultimately it serves a practical purpose but I really put in the work on it because Tumblr's CEO was putting people through it over here for a bit and that seems to have died down (or at least, people talking about it has, that doesn't necessarily mean much.) But anyway at the time I was just frustrated because I had already watched my potential audience fragment from one site to three, and facing the possibility of it fragmenting to 4-6 just felt like too much.

TL;DR, I chose the three social sites that I did because I know that when Twitter's audience fragmented, most of the ones who left flocked here or to Bluesky. And it feels like abandoning any of them would mean abandoning a big chunk of potential audience. But idk. Right now it seems like a lot for little return to continue trying to reach them all. If I got to have a cool conversation about an RPG once every couple weeks out of it it'd all be worth it. But so far I'm not so lucky.

[zutarawasrobbed]

I posted 123 times in 2022

49 posts created (40%)

74 posts reblogged (60%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@the-badger-mole

@zutaramonth

@stardust948

@sneezypeasy

@zutarawasrobbed

I tagged 102 of my posts in 2022

Only 17% of my posts had no tags

#zutara - 78 posts

#zuko - 37 posts

#katara - 36 posts

#atla - 27 posts

#avatar the last airbender - 12 posts

#anti kataang - 7 posts

#anti maiko - 6 posts

#atla original scripts - 6 posts

#anti k@taang - 5 posts

#incorrect quotes - 4 posts

Longest Tag: 96 characters

#what kind of grown ass man thinks “hmm i should murder this child for disagreeing with my idea?”

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Honestly, after the shit Aang pulled at the ember island players, I 100% would’ve supported the episode ending with Aang walking in on Zuko and Katara making out.

509 notes - Posted March 18, 2022

#4

Sokka: Katara, how many times do I have to tell you-

Katara: Because you don’t know how he feels about me! What if he doesn’t like me? He’s gonna be the Fire lord in a few days.

Sokka: He literally jumped in front of lightning for you! I think it’s clear!

Katara: Pshhh, he would’ve done that for anyone and you know that.

Sokka: … *Deadpan* He used Suki as momentum to save you from falling rocks when his sister found us at the air temple. Suki was just lucky his shove happened to get her out of the way too. I don’t think he’d do that for just anyone.

Katara: No he didn’t-

Suki: Yes, he did. He flat out told me.

513 notes - Posted January 26, 2022

#3

Suki: Why don’t you just tell Katara how you feel?

Zuko: *Scoffs* Are you crazy?!?! That’s the stupidest thing I could ever do. We just started to be friends!!! No. I’ve made enough reckless decisions in my life.

Also Zuko: *Yeets himself directly into lighting*

682 notes - Posted January 11, 2022

#2

Guys..

The original script adds so much context for a lot of scenes, but this one?

Zuko didn’t just start sleeping next to Katara because he wanted to be close to her. He also wanted to be close enough to protect her from another ambush and bomb attack.

And Katara could sleep with a smile on her face because she knew Zuko would be there to protect her. Zuko gave her the opportunity to sleep without being alert 100% of the time for the first time in probably forever…

I’m not okay 😭

696 notes - Posted October 14, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Katara: So, let me get this straight. You were in a war meeting... thirteen years old… defended new recruits from being used as fodder… and in return, you were challenged to an Agni Kai- at thirteen- by the officer who proposed it… But on the day of the Agni Kai, you- at thirteen years old- were met by your father… who you refused to fight… and instead of calling it off… he burnt half your face off and banished you?

Zuko: Yes…

Katara: *Nods* Excuse me.

2 Hours Later…

Ozai: *Cell opens* What-

Katara: It’s a full moon tonight.

Ozai: … Why-

Katara: *Sighs and starts sand timer* You have 10 seconds.

Ozai: *Apprehensive* For what?

Katara: To run, before I gut you like a fish 😁

1,918 notes - Posted January 14, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[deadqueerdetectives]

I posted 2,324 times in 2022

That's 1,503 more posts than 2021!

102 posts created (4%)

2,222 posts reblogged (96%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@team-win

@7-dreamers

@laowen

@nanons

@liyazaki

I tagged 2,305 of my posts in 2022

Only 1% of my posts had no tags

#kinnporsche - 437 posts

#dreamcatcher - 168 posts

#bible wichapas - 99 posts

#not me - 99 posts

#art - 93 posts

#enchante - 92 posts

#the eclipse - 72 posts

#kelsey’s thoughts - 66 posts

#enchante the series - 64 posts

#siyeon - 62 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#behind those tough guy masks is just two men who’ve been traumatised and thrown into crippling responsibility but they just want to be loved

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

The entire last 10 minutes of KinnPorsche ep6 YALL. I was in tears. Them opening up to each other, Kinn apologising for what he did. Porsche being willing to sacrifice his HAND for Kinn. Kinn knowing how to escape the entire time but feeling so happy and free that he wanted to continue being lost with Porsche. Kinn allowing Porsche to leave despite the heartache it obviously brought him. Porsche barely being able to bring himself to leave. Kinn jumping in front of a bullet for Porsche. The mixed look of relief and disappointment on Porsche’s face when the other bodyguards show up. MAN this episode!! Mile and Apo killed it.

74 notes - Posted May 14, 2022

#4

is this what they call, love at first sight 😍

Big Dragon The Series Ep. 2

135 notes - Posted October 16, 2022

#3

help I cannot stop laughing. LOOK AT THEM. dorks.

272 notes - Posted May 22, 2022

#2

HOLY MOTHER OF SAPPHIC

354 notes - Posted November 22, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

See the full post

1,962 notes - Posted May 19, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[thelambliesdown1974]

I posted 6,165 times in 2022

That's 5,053 more posts than 2021!

2,000 posts created (32%)

4,165 posts reblogged (68%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@4waystreet

@thelambliesdown1974

@csny

@allthingsmustpass1970

@tenthavenuesqueezeout

I tagged 3,052 of my posts in 2022

Only 50% of my posts had no tags

#radio waves - 230 posts

#mail - 190 posts

#audio - 98 posts

#columbo - 84 posts

#cordcore - 69 posts

#personal archive - 68 posts

#david byrne - 66 posts

#inspo - 62 posts

#fav - 61 posts

#spotify - 60 posts

Longest Tag: 137 characters

#i just lobe them…. i was trying to find the episode where ed grimley gets sucked up by an orange orb of electricity and trapped in the tv

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

everytime someone says Semen and Gayuncle simon and garfunkle roll in their graves because that’s as close as they can get to jumping for joy. ☮️

492 notes - Posted August 12, 2022

#4

eeeeeeeeeee wheeeee yippee!! spin me around weeeee! yaaay so fun !!! - David Byrne

1,219 notes - Posted May 13, 2022

#3

5,915 notes - Posted November 21, 2022

#2

look at.my rick wall

7,099 notes - Posted March 26, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Me and the guys at the gym making biscuits on each other and meowing

21,807 notes - Posted April 24, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[iffeelscouldkill]

I posted 1,164 times in 2022

That's 226 more posts than 2021!

25 posts created (2%)

1,139 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@apollo-cackling

@spectralarchers

@madrigaltripletssupremacy

@justira

@wordsinhaled

I tagged 1,156 of my posts in 2022

Only 1% of my posts had no tags

#dreamling - 87 posts

#encanto - 84 posts

#netflix sandman - 67 posts

#tumblr - 61 posts

#dream of the endless - 54 posts

#undescribed - 48 posts

#hob gadling - 45 posts

#uk politics - 37 posts

#the murderbot diaries - 37 posts

#ukpol - 36 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#and how if you weren't that attractive by whatever the standards were at the time you would have much worse prospects on the marriage front

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

*checks watch* Whoops it looks like it's Raid the Penumbra Podcast Tag and Reblog a Bunch of Posts o'clock again

20 notes - Posted June 10, 2022

#4

Me almost missing a jump in Stray and clinging onto a ledge with my little kitty paws: This is what got me down here. Never again

22 notes - Posted August 13, 2022

#3

So the other day I was struck by the urge to relisten to an episode from season 1, and of course it had to be my all-time favourite, Episode 7: Root Systems. (I'm sorry, Parallel, I know I used to say you were my favourite, but I have to give up and admit it's actually your successor). The building drama of the race between the IGR agents' search and Sana's max-speed drive back to the Rumor is just so good, and then of course the defiant getaway followed by the agents' despondency - so I decided to turn it into a fan comic.

Yes, in my head no matter how completely impossible it might be Krejjh is standing in the doorway to the ship flipping off the Agents on the ground as they make their farewell. "But how are they piloting the ship?" you ask. WITH THEIR MIND, next question. Krejjh's second pair of eyes are of course underneath their goggles. (I originally drew Krejjh wearing suspenders and then I was like NO. NEON GREEN LEG WARMERS).

(I don't really have a consistent mental image of Krejjh in my head (though I always imagine the multiple arms and eye-pairs) but this version of them is definitely influenced by @rjmccabe's!)

And then at the bottom we have chibi McCabe comforting a very sad Park. Don't worry, Park, I'm sure your day isn't about to get any worse.

44 notes - Posted May 13, 2022

#2

"The most unrealistic thing about Stray is the idea that an orange cat could be smart" Speak for yourselves, because with me at the controls, this cat is dense af

68 notes - Posted August 7, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

*fires up the official Netflix Sandman playlist on Spotify*

*sees both She Drives Me Crazy and Shattered Dreams on the playlist*

i'm fine I'M FINE

72 notes - Posted September 13, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[voidsteffy]

I posted 16,791 times in 2022

That's 13,564 more posts than 2021!

617 posts created (4%)

16,174 posts reblogged (96%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@karinaisloud

@nnon-but-cwnancydrew

@infp-obsessing-over-everything

@bisexualalienss

@voidsteffy

I tagged 1,631 of my posts in 2022

#asks - 104 posts

#nancy drew cw - 76 posts

#rrr - 76 posts

#spotify - 52 posts

#desiblr - 52 posts

#nace - 51 posts

#tagged - 45 posts

#nancy drew cbs - 45 posts

#manu answers - 40 posts

#nancy drew finale - 35 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#i need the rain shots....the shot of them meeting for the first time and then them *meeting for the first time*.... all the funny ones.....

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Why am I noticing right now that Ram also takes parts of the spiked whip in his hand.... so Bheem is not the only one bleeding

......kill me why don't you

144 notes - Posted May 7, 2022

#4

third time watching hill house and i just noticed some things:

luke's "treehouse" wall has the number plates of all the important cars: the plate of the funeral home van that brings back nell's body, nell's car in la and steve's car and so on

the Tall Man came into Luke and Nell's room because he was "checking up on his kids after they fell asleep" and then he found the hat

the names of the actors show up in the start credits only when their respective statue shows up. like, carla, victoria and everyone has a specific statue when their name appears and that statue is linked to their characters

the Tall Man and Poppy Hill had met in a mental institution and Luke and Joey met in a rehab

When mom was sad, she made the sky hail, and what if one of the siblings had made it rain the day that lady's husband died in the ravine?

steve protests in the two storms episode that "why do i need protection from the truth" while he represents Denial that is technically a mechanism of protection from the truth

Nell sees Vance at the bottom of the staircase before she dies, just like Hugh sees Liv wake up from the dead as a ghost and walk away thinking it's all a dream. the bottom of the staircase, after all the spirals of life, might be where your loved ones stand, waiting for you

I'm—

145 notes - Posted July 22, 2022

#3

I—

148 notes - Posted May 22, 2022

#2

What I loved about this moment was not just Ace literally risking his life because he trusted Nancy and wanted to eventually bring justice...

But that Nancy stayed rooted to her place while everyone else jumped in various degrees of shock.

Like, "Oh shit this adorable himbo that I thought was tagging along with me... He actually trusts me? AND HE WOULD HAVE DIED IF THAT WAS POISON!"

Her widened eyes say it all.

Beyond horrified at what Ace did, she's also spellbound by his trust. She felt responsible for him in a new way. That guy would be stupid enough to run into a dilapidated poisoner-housing building to be with her. That guy would be stupid enough to drink poison because they might share the same drive for justice and facts.

For me, that's when Nancy actually knew she could trust him too.

Of course Maybe she liked him before that but this is when she knew.

SHE KNEW.

183 notes - Posted January 25, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Friday without Nancy Drew be like

212 notes - Posted February 4, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[booker-le-livre]

I posted 795 times in 2022

25 posts created (3%)

770 posts reblogged (97%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@papirouge

@notyoursunnygirlfriend

@smol-catholic-bean

@greater-than-the-sword

@pro-birth

I tagged 424 of my posts in 2022

Only 47% of my posts had no tags

#pro life - 97 posts

#shadow and bone - 79 posts

#six of crows - 77 posts

#wylan van eck - 53 posts

#christianity - 26 posts

#911 lone star - 24 posts

#jesper fahey - 24 posts

#kaz brekker - 23 posts

#matthias helvar - 17 posts

#eurovision - 17 posts

Longest Tag: 136 characters

#if you’re worried about being accused of r@pe then bring a sober female friend or something as ‘witness’ that you didn’t do anything bad

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

You know, sometimes I straight up forget that TK is Owen’s son because of how little this man seems to care for his own child. TK was literally dying in the hospital and Owen really went “how can I make this situation entirely about me?” and then left.

80 notes - Posted February 8, 2022

#4

So no Måns?

99 notes - Posted May 15, 2022

#3

If I had a nickel for every time a guy in a TV-show named Alexander was about to jump from a balcony because he was being mind controlled/manipulated by an external force and it had something to do with someone’s dead mother, only for his supernatural boyfriend to save him at the last second, I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice.

103 notes - Posted April 10, 2022

#2

imagine thinking being "pro life" is a matter of a different opinion and not an ideology of violence inflicted upon women LOL. if you wanna cry misogyny then maybe open your eyes and understand that women can be misogynists

Imagine thinking that pregnancy, the most natural thing a human woman can do, is “violence”. Taking responsibility for your actions (that is having sex), isn’t “violence”. Pregnancy is the natural result of sex and if you’re not mature enough to take responsibility for that result then you shouldn’t be having sex at all. A baby shouldn’t have to lose their life for someone else’s convenience.

And I never claimed that women couldn’t be misogynistic, but most of the people were crying for “women’s rights” while at the same time cheering this dude on as he kicked a woman to the ground for no reason. And if you think that someone deserves to be violently attacked for voicing their opinion/ideology then there is something sincerely wrong with you. Going by that logic I assume you’re totally fine with people drop kicking someone publicly advocating for abortion?

126 notes - Posted January 18, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Yennefer had more chemistry with Jaskier, Cahir, and dare I say it, Istredd, in like one episode than she’s ever had with Geralt throughout the entire series so far.

243 notes - Posted January 10, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[morganee]

I posted 1,458 times in 2022

That's 1,399 more posts than 2021!

50 posts created (3%)

1,408 posts reblogged (97%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@will80sbyers

@kittykat940

@theonebyler

@jazz-penguin

@willthecleric

I tagged 1,392 of my posts in 2022

Only 5% of my posts had no tags

#stranger things - 1,039 posts

#byler - 773 posts

#will byers - 92 posts

#mike wheeler - 77 posts

#f1 - 66 posts

#sebastian vettel - 45 posts

#this - 39 posts

#😂😂😂 - 38 posts

#asdfghjkl - 37 posts

#!!! - 33 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#like??? do you really think directors didn’t notice those looks???? didn’t ask him to stop if they didn’t want him to look at noah like that

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

you know what the perfect scenario would be for me for s5 byler-wise?

El and Mike break up right at the start of the season and that’s when Mike realises he actually likes Will but doesn’t do anything about it because he’s scared

THEN we get the time jump (I always think it’s going to be like two years) and we get Will and Mike obviously pining after each other and we get cute moments and hopefully they end up together before the season finale so we can also have like a full episode of byler being boyfriends

as much as I’d love for Mike and Will to get together as soon as possible, I’d also like to see Mike single for a while because I think he needs that too, just as much as El does

51 notes - Posted October 7, 2022

#4

what if Will stays with the Wheelers because obviously they can’t all fit in Hopper’s cabin

and one day Will is just sitting on Mike’s bed, drawing something, and Karen enters the room with Mike’s clean laundry and before she leaves the room she goes “Oh, I almost forgot. Here” and she hands him the letter and Will’s confused and she just smiles and says “I found it in Mike’s blue shirt. That boy, he probably forgot it was there, thank god I always check the pockets before doing the washing”

and she leaves and Will is so confused but he can’t help but open the letter because his name is on it and he reads it and it ends with Love, Mike

and that’s how Mike finds him hours later, sitting on his bed with the letter open in front of him and his breath stops at that sigh and he just says “you weren’t meant to find it”

60 notes - Posted August 28, 2022

#3

well, we won the poll

78 notes - Posted August 11, 2022

#2

See the full post

247 notes - Posted July 23, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

no but just imagine Mike going to Nancy after El breaks up with him because he's just so confused and he asks her what it's like to be in love with someone and Nancy tells him that being in love with someone is feeling your true self around that person and just needing them and wanting them to be happy and just basically lists all the things Mike feels when he's with Will and then Nancy asks if that's how he felt with El and he just answers "no" a bit too quickly and she asks "do you feel like this with someone else?" and Mike tells her yes but he doesn't specify because he's just so confused, he's always felt like this with Will and never thought it was anything more than friendship but now it feels like love and he's scared and he just blurts out what this person makes him feel, how right he feels whenever they are around, how beautiful they are, how he thinks he might love them, and when he's done Nancy just goes: "Mike. I think you should tell him all of this"

and that's it, that's Mike coming out scene and he cries and Nancy cries and I'm crying

966 notes - Posted August 7, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[persimnon]

I posted 4,025 times in 2022

That's 2,501 more posts than 2021!

417 posts created (10%)

3,608 posts reblogged (90%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@transsexualbloodlust

@spacialrift

@elytrians

@thefictionshelf

@rudiecantfail

I tagged 2,402 of my posts in 2022

Only 40% of my posts had no tags

#lindsay liveblogs - 282 posts

#art - 269 posts

#wwdits - 269 posts

#stranger things - 146 posts

#iwtv - 141 posts

#breaking bad - 120 posts

#tlt - 117 posts

#bcs - 115 posts

#ofmd - 100 posts

#succession - 72 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#all the reblogs keep saying nadja and laszlo and better call saul…so true and a very convincing argument for me to finally start the latter

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

tumblr blaze is like that one mbmbam episode where someone paid for a jumbotron ad that made justin say “vriska did nothing wrong” in taako’s voice. but instead of no longer doing personal ads after that debacle this website is doubling down

244 notes - Posted April 21, 2022

#4

is this anything

309 notes - Posted September 21, 2022

#3

i am physically ill with excitement over jason mantzoukas getting cast as Mr. D like the moment i saw that fancast there was no turning back, i would never be satisfied until I saw him in that role. we won guys we won

538 notes - Posted June 2, 2022

#2

my 9 year old self is holding hands with my current 19 year old self and we are both jumping around screaming at the percy jackson teaser

8,143 notes - Posted September 10, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

HELP

52,726 notes - Posted November 6, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[randomhearts82]

Unsure

Hello readers,

I’ve been meaning to post this message for a while now, but I wanted to gather my thoughts, and had hoped maybe my feelings would change if I gave it some time. If this makes you nervous, it’s not exactly what you’re most likely thinking…not yet anyway.

At this point in time, I’m honestly rather unsure on if the story will be continued. It’s not that I’ve lost an interest in writing, as I have ideas for other fandoms. It’s more about this story in particular, for several reasons.

One: you all most likely know by now, via previous messages, that my interest in GA has significantly gone downhill. It started when I could no longer watch episodes (via legal means) here in Canada anymore. That was a few years ago now. On top of that, when I was still watching, I found the focus of the investigations changed from when I first started. I found they became more about demons than ghosts, and while I know they’re intertwined in some ways, my interest lies more with “is there an afterlife?” 

Two: I do still have some ideas, and a basic idea of how I want to end the story, but during the last several months of trying to write new chapters, I realized I’ve done a terrible job (in my opinion) in terms of pacing in the world I’ve created. Since Zak and Alicia met, it’s been roughly one year and six months. I realize in the real world, many relationships progress faster than I’ve written, but I feel like in order to end the story how I imagine, I’d have to do a bunch of time jumps. I feel like that’s crappy writing on my part, but maybe it’s just my opinion.

Third & last: probably the most important reason to my indecision…I’ve grown a lot mentally since the story started. While I still have my issues with mental health, and my day to day life hasn’t really changed, the idea of continuing to write a fan fiction based on actual living people…well, it kinda makes me uncomfortable now. I mean absolutely no offence to those that do, and while I obviously realize my perception of these real life people is extremely likely to be inaccurate of who they really are, I can’t help the way I feel. I think the main thing that brought me to this realization is the fact that the other ideas for stories in other fandoms I have, are all 100 percent fictional characters.

With all that said, I’m really unsure at this point on what I’m going to do. I feel absolutely terrible when I think of not continuing the story, knowing you guys have been so supportive over the years. However, I also feel like my writing has gone down hill in the last number of chapters, and would only continue to get worse if I continue.

I wanted to post this so message so you’d all know I haven’t forgotten about the story, and mainly just to be honest with where I’m at. I’m also curious to see any opinions you guys may have. I know my lack of updates are likely the cause, but I feel like the story doesn’t have the following that it used to, so that kinda affects my thoughts on continuing too.

Whatever I decide, and I’m not sure when that will be, I’ll let you know. If I happen to decide not to continue with the story, I’d be willing to at least share a brief summary of what my planned ending would be if you guys want. Or maybe I could even do an FAQ sort of thing, where I’d give you guys some time to send in your questions about the story, and I’d post my answers to the best of my ability. Again, let me know what you think.

I apologize for this news. I dreaded posting this, but you guys have honestly been the best readers I could have hoped for, so you deserve the truth.

Lots of love,

Alicia

P.S. Even though I’ve posted this to Twitter/X, Tumblr, and my Wattpad newsfeed, I decided to post this as a new “chapter” across all three sites as well, so that’s easier for you guys to leave your thoughts. Especially since my Tumblr blog is a mess, and severely needs a makeover.

[hangmanshoney]

I posted 6,349 times in 2022

14 posts created (0%)

6,335 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@peakyrogers

@aayla-securas

@babyrooster

@karihighman

@unicornships

I tagged 659 of my posts in 2022

#glen powell - 261 posts

#top gun maverick - 117 posts

#i love him your honor - 99 posts

#jake hangman seresin - 82 posts

#tom cruise - 70 posts

#chicago fire - 37 posts

#pete maverick mitchell - 37 posts

#miles teller - 36 posts

#criminal minds - 36 posts

#chenford - 33 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#the hoco one was a little tricky since her last scene is the 'what the fuck' one but she's blurry af so i had to choose a different scene...

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Okay so I’m a literal bag of emotions rn and tumblr is my unfortunate sounding board, so ima get all this out in one and then ima shut up & go back to just reblogging others until I can control myself again😂 okay? okay. Buckle up.

I know Fire can be heartbreaking & unexpected but that ending was just evil and purely-for-shock value-cruel. Like I know killing off characters for advancement is nothing new here but the way they did that was just so mean to me - I am literally still shaking about it.

And PD?! I cannot believe they think that episode (no matter how incredible the acting) comes anywhere close to the ending / write off that Jesse deserves after dedicating himself for the last 9 - ALMOST 10 - WHOLE SEASONS to this show! And as for that giving justice to his character, show me WHERE?! Because all I saw was so many ooc choices, all to get out of a shitty situation that inevitably led to a complete decimation of years of character development / growth & him being written out in the most confusing af way, as an attempt to keep it even loosely linked to the jay we know and love.

I don’t even know how to feel rn.

I am fuming. Like so, indescribably angry.

But i’m also so proud - of Jesse - of his acting & his hard work & how he’s handled this whole shit show of a situation.

(EDIT - also incredibly proud of hanako’s acting in tonight’s fire ep! If I didn’t already love both Evan & hawkami in general, so much, her performance alone would’ve broken my heart tonight anyway, because my god that girl was good🙌)

And I’m obviously gutted. So completely & utterly devastated.

Honestly do not know if the shows will even sit right with me after this let alone be watchable.

Ima need a minute.

45 notes - Posted October 6, 2022

#4

okay so I know we’re all feeling that chief hawkins is basically the CF writers attempt at a temporary roadblock on the road to getting violet & gallo back together (aka a repeat of granger & sydney on the road to brettsey) , but I’ve come to the annoyingly unsurprising conclusion that im basically in love with him and ngl ima probably throw a fit if they use him suggesting distance from violet as a way to write him out😒😂😩

48 notes - Posted January 13, 2022

#3

Jay running after Hailey running after the suspect?!

If that isn’t THE EPITOME of “I’m going where you go” & “I’d follow you anywhere”?!?!

CANNOT. DEAL.

49 notes - Posted February 24, 2022

#2

can we just talk about:

Hailey’s sheepish but knowing “Are we all checking on me now?”

And Jay & Kev’s exchange of looks before a simultaneous “Yes”

!!!!

Like, yes baby, that’s what happens when you scare the crap outta your unit (protective partner slash husband included) by jumping in the river after a car & then barely take a second to breathe or get checked out before you dive into investigating it.

Gonna give your team and the whole fandom a freaking heart attack😩😂

82 notes - Posted February 24, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Is it just me, or does this particular chicago wednesday feel like an utter shit show and it’s not even over yet?!

Like i literally feel like I’m watching the entire one Chicago universe implode before my eyes and the writers expect us to be happy about it or at least just move past it & keep watching?!

From that unbearably cruel fire ending to seeing jay turn into the one thing he’s always hated & said he wouldn’t become right before they write him out - I literally cannot think straight besides the sheer heartbroken anger fuelling me rn.

My brain is freaking scrambled and I honestly cannot see how these decisions are gonna get them anything but a loss in fanbase?!

MAKE. IT. MAKE. SENSE.

128 notes - Posted October 6, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[godtears]

I posted 19,094 times in 2022

That's 12,735 more posts than 2021!

372 posts created (2%)

18,722 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@the-fox-alive

@communist-shark

@donnervogel98

@knockmeoutbabe

@companionwolf

I tagged 904 of my posts in 2022

#mutual aid - 77 posts

#mutual help - 73 posts

#abortion - 44 posts

#help - 27 posts

#inscryption - 27 posts

#inscryption spoilers - 26 posts

#the owl house - 21 posts

#centaurworld - 20 posts

#toh spoilers - 19 posts

#toh - 17 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#i just watched this episode and i cried because 1 yes this 2 she started getting back together with her dad 😭 and 3 she has my dream body

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I'm so stressed out I'm gonna throw up

5 notes - Posted March 10, 2022

#4

Pro-monarchists should fall in a ditch and break their legs 🤗🥰😍🤩😇

6 notes - Posted September 20, 2022

#3

Me: I like this thing and people need to calm down about hating it

This shitty person: you're wrong and it's terrible and you should feel terrible

Me: I'm gonna keep watching it and you can leave me alone now

This shitty person: *uses a comfort thing of mine as a weapon against me*

Me: wow! You managed to be a worse asshole than anyone else here!

Seriously today I had to deal with this, someone losing their mind on me because I said "shearing a sheep doesn't hurt the sheep", a racist white guy saying I should "stop with the pity party about Thanksgiving" (because i said it was a day of mourning) and said I should instead "eat turkey and get fucked by someone other than a *slur against Hispanic people cuz my partner is Hispanic and indigenous*".

So fucking forgive me if I'm not dealing with assholes today.

Let me watch and enjoy my shit.

7 notes - Posted November 25, 2022

#2

An Asterisk artfight attack for @rslashrats ❤️✨

12 notes - Posted July 2, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I love in sound mind

Me: *jumping peacefully across a railing going towards a building window*

Rainbowman: *slams open window like he's a French peasant from Disney's beauty and the beast* BONJOUR

Me: *falls from the railing screaming*

24 notes - Posted January 4, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[carleyjayden]

I posted 1,850 times in 2022

That's 490 more posts than 2021!

6 posts created (0%)

1,844 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@doverstar

@hellcheertrashman

@cogentranting

@hellcheersmovingcastle

@captainrexs

I tagged 1,601 of my posts in 2022

Only 13% of my posts had no tags

#stranger things - 258 posts

#eddissy - 116 posts

#eddie munson - 107 posts

#eddie x chrissy - 84 posts

#joseph quinn - 74 posts

#😅 - 68 posts

#mcu - 57 posts

#star wars - 49 posts

#🥺 - 46 posts

#reylo - 40 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#and i like that while they're having a big group reunion dan just took a quiet moment to himself to walk around diagon alley and reminisce

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I can't believe we got to see Grogu again and I couldn't even enjoy it.

😞

1 note - Posted February 6, 2022

#4

Me: *driving in my car*

*classic rock song comes on*

Me: I wonder if Eddie liked this song...

😞

3 notes - Posted July 21, 2022

#3

Greetings, followers!!

I'm taking this rare time to make to a text post and announce I have a new side-blog @elzarkriss!

It'll be star wars-centric and it's named for two of my favorite High Republic disaster jedi who are simps for each other. And we all know Elzar would take Avar's name in marriage.

Anyways, go give me a follow if you're interested in more of my star wars thoughts! Or don't if you don't feel like it. I'm sure I'll end up posting a lot of them on main anyway.

😁

5 notes - Posted March 7, 2022

#2

Alright Eddissy/Hellcheer fandom, who's ready for Taylor Swift to overwhelm us with all of the emotions of angst and romantic sadness in a matter of days?

16 notes - Posted October 18, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I still can't believe how much we got right about Din being sad during the time jump. We just got him back and we saw him walking around as sadly as possible, excessively killing people, and falling down some stairs in the first 10 minutes.

The first subtitle of the episode was *The Mandalorian sighs.*

We know him so well.

45 notes - Posted January 30, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[xuseokgyu]

hey i'm back! (your carat gift maker hehe) i'm sorry for not answering sooner but i had a lot of things to do. but now i'm here and i'm ready to chat with you ^^

to answer your questions, i've been on tumblr for quite some time but we've never spoken before. i found out about your blog through this event.

as for the things we have in common, we both like iu, taeyeon, shinee & txt (aka we have amazing taste). and i really like your tags for the 97 line. they made my day 🤣 all your tags for your faves are genius ;) props to you for that 👍

i'd like to keep where i'm from private for now :) i hope you understand.

to finish this off, i'd love to ask you a few questions (answer only the one(s) you want to, no pressure): how long have you been a carat? what was the moment where you were sure you were a carat? do you have any favourite svt video?

Hey dont worry about taking your time (as you can see I myself take a while too.. sorry hahah)

Amazing taste indeed!! And thank you <3

I'm really curious to find out who you are now!! Since you are in this event I'm assuming you are a CC... Can I ask what kind of content you create??

So for your questions... I guess they can kinda be answered as one... My sister @haniehae has been a carat since 2015 so she always showed me stuff but I never really got involved you know? Jump foward to 2020 and the world comes to a stop, we start to watch more stuff together, namely the Hit The Road documentary... I would stay up to watch with her, then during the week waiting for the next episode she started to show me some more shows... I basically started to catch up on all their content and she had the perfect excuse to watch it all again hahaha (The one show that made me slip into the diamond life more than any other was 13 Castaway Boys)... Lets just say by the end of Hit The Road I was already a self proclaimed carat (cant really pin point an exact moment tho)

Hope you'll have a good week!!

[charthanry]

BBS: Deconstructing the Entire Series (Part 4 of 13)

Welcome to my deep dive into each episode where I break down character motives, P’Aof’s delivery, and general musings of all things BBS. Basically, a scene-by-scene recap with commentary from me, your friendly neighborhood commentator. If you missed the previous installments of this post series, you’re welcome to check them out:

Part 1  |  Part 2  |  Part 3

Recapping the recap: We left EP3 with Pat manipulating his friends to help the architects rebuild the bus stop. After years of keeping it, Pat finally returns Pran’s guitar to him. Pat and Pran are now straddling that undefined space between not-enemies but not exactly friends either. Pran obviously wants more, and Pat is frustratingly oblivious to the entire thing.

Episode Four: The Rugby Match, an Old Friend, and Would You Like Me? (or AKA “Without you? It’s no fun.”)

In the game of gay chicken, it’s a showdown of who will blink first.

We open with the two opposing squad leaders facing off suspiciously close to one another. Must you lean thisclose to hear each other? Is it my imagination or is Pat eyeing Pran’s lips here? Pran has a look that clearly says my eyes are up here, asshole. The unresolved sexual tension is so charged that I can feel the static in my hair from all the friction. Apparently, Einstein-hair is one of the side effects of shipping these boys. Another is a high tolerance for muscle tees with nonsensical slogans on them. Even the opposing friends are averting their gazes from all the sexual tension these two are emitting. I guess unlike us, they all value their perfectly coiffed hair.

After much ado about divvying up the bus stop workload, Wai annoyingly comments that if anybody can't carry their weight it’s the engineers which offends Korn and a kerfuffle nearly breaks out. Waisel- just shut your yapper, nobody even asked you and Korn- quit giving him the satisfaction of reacting. Good grief! These boys have turned me into a hall monitor. Ever the mediator, Pran stops their antics by deciding one group will take the even days and the other will take the odd.

At the bus stop site, Wai once again feels the need to whine about the untrustworthy engineers. In a surprisingly sweet move, Pran gallantly defends Pat and assures his friends that Pat is a man of dignity. Aww Pran, that’s right, defend your almost-man. And isn’t it rich of Wai to call out Pat? Somebody get this weasel a mirror. I’ve had enough of his nostril flaring. Was he a bull in a previous life?

I'm adding pouty Pran to the list of best Prans, because look at this face y’all.

After Pran's emphatic defense of Pat's character, we cut to a hilarious scene of Pat apologizing to Pran for his friends not showing up for bus duty. Opting instead to attend a last-minute music concert. Pran rolls his eyes and asks why Pat didn’t keep them in line and Pat’s response is I was too busy dancing at said concert. Pran’s face in response is its own meme. One that rhetorically asks murdering your literal neighbor is still considered a crime, right? Even if he’s asking for it?

Pat comments that if everyone were as eager to work as they are to fight, the bus stop would already be built by now which sparks a lightbulb in Pran’s head. Together he and Pat scheme to have their friends compete in a one-upmanship with taunting notes left at the site for each other. I really must applaud Pran here, the idea is genius. And credit to Pat for giving Pran the nudge to come up with it. They're truly the best partners-in-manipulation. Foreshadowing to future events? Why, yes, the show thanks you for noticing.

The bus stop crew meet at the site for an interview with the school paper. Pat’s gang shows up overdressed in matching slacks and ties. They look like waiters ready to pass the hors d'oeuvres at some catered event. Pran looks on mockingly, but we see you ogling Pat, bro, don’t deny it. He can’t resist commenting that Pat’s shoes are particularly shiny and Pat volleys back that Pran sure is one to talk as he reeks of cologne himself. Sir, I think that’s just his natural pheromones triggering you. I love that they’re openly flirting in public now and with their friends within earshot, too. These two are blatantly ignoring any warning sirens of danger, Will Robinson, and we’re here for the delicious play-by-play.

We're treated to a slow-mo entrance of a pretty girl running up to the group. Cue the flashback informing us that this is their former high school classmate, Ink. She’s there to photograph the bus stop for the school paper. Pran gives Pat a panicked look, which Pat immediately picks up on and scuttles Ink away from everyone. Pran’s face is a myriad of feelings, there's his obvious concern about being busted for hiding their past but also something else, something deeper. We are picking up heavily on that something else.

Look at Pat’s body language here. This doesn’t strike me as someone who is joyfully reunited with his high school crush?

Off to the side, Pat explains to Ink that he and Pran’s faculties have deep rivalries, and nobody knows of their shared history. He asks if she can keep this information to herself. Ink is willing to play along but not before extracting a price for her silence. Poor Pat is weary of what this entails and honestly so are we.

It’s nighttime and the engineers are practicing for an upcoming rugby match against the architects. Korn teases Pat about Ink and asks if he knows her. Pat plays it off that he was just seizing his chance to talk to her alone. Korn then makes an offhand comment that has the entire fandom hyperventilating: I thought you said you liked someone in architecture. Um, excuse me??? Come again? I need to replay this. Assuming this isn’t lost in translation, it’s curious that Pat neither denies nor corrects Korn here, he merely says, you call yourself an engineering student? Why are you now defending the architects? Ugh. Pat is being frustratingly evasive. Answer the guy’s question!

Their chitchat draws the ire of the coach and they’re punished with running drills. Seriously? That’s it?? You’re going to drop that bomb on us and then just run away? Damn you, show. Insert gif of Arthur’s clenched fist.

We cut to Pran outside using his phone’s flashlight while searching for his dropped earbud. He walks around adorably muttering to himself when he bumps into Pat fresh from rugby practice. Pran tells Pat to get lost, but Pat insists on helping him look. Even with something this simple, the two still find ways to bicker with each other. Pat doesn’t watch where he’s going and unintentionally steps on the very thing they’re looking for, because of course he does.

Holding the busted earbud, Pat is genuinely apologetic but Pran doesn’t hold back his irritation. He reiterates his mantra that every time they’re together, nothing good happens. 

Pran is back in his dorm when there’s an insistent knock at his door. It’s Pat coming to lend Pran his own earbuds. Pran initially refuses but Pat is clever and pokes at his competitiveness by saying he’ll need it for the music contest and to not use the lack of earbuds as an excuse to lose against Pat and the engineers. Pran finally relents, but we know that Pat only used the contest to get Pran to take the earbuds and I suspect that Pran knows this as well.

Pran is so distracted by Pat’s thoughtfulness that he lets his guard down which Pat takes as an opening to barge into Pran’s room. The two go back and forth about Pat’s sweat stinking up Pran’s place. And it’s like watching the most fascinating game of table tennis, ever. The way these two banter is like a competitive sport. Pat takes it a notch further by stuffing Pran's head inside his sweaty shirt, which eww. But how much do I love that they've now graduated from verbal foreplay into physical just like that. That it’s become comfortable for them to have their hands on each other. Pat has bulldozed his way into Pran's physical and personal spaces and our Pran’s defenses are visibly weakening.

To quote one Rory Gilmore, look at this butt-faced miscreant.

Pran has had enough and kicks him out. Also, can your voice get any higher pitched, my guy? I think that’s the most excitable I’ve ever seen you. How warm was it inside Pat's shirt? Are you feeling lightheaded? Do we need to do a temp check? He closes the door in Pat’s face but of course can’t resist another peek at the peephole. Pat stands outside his door and obnoxiously chants you knowww you want to let me in. Pran just shakes his head but not before his face blooms in a glorious smile of defeat. How does he make defeat look so sweet? He sits back on his couch and stares affectionately at the borrowed earbuds.

The next day, Pran heads to the campus coffee shop after class and happens on Pat and Ink. It triggers a flashback where high school Pran is waiting for his milk tea order when a passing Pat pauses on his way to music club and tells Pran he’ll see him there. Pran nods in response and immediately turns around and orders a second drink for Pat. Our hearts ache for the obvious hope we can see churning in his chest. Oh, sweet Pran. Can you imagine his trek to that music room? How his steps are a little more hurried? How he carefully holds both drinks in his nervous, sweaty palms? Only to walk in on Pat and Ink goofing off and Pran’s face morphs into something akin to being run over by an oncoming freight train. 

We’re back in the present, where history is repeating itself with Pran looking on as Pat teases Ink. The look on Pran’s face as he watches them is heartbreaking; it’s that damn freight train coming for him again. Just as his heart and bones are finally healing from the last collision three years prior. The show is telling us this is nothing new for Pran. He’s been here before, a spectating third wheel to his own life. And it hurts us something fierce because we can all relate. Unrequited love is a heavy burden, made worse when you’ve accepted it but it keeps jabbing you over and over with the reminder of what you can’t have. And it never stops hurting. It’s like picking at a barely healed scab again and again only to bleed anew, each time leaving a deeper scar than the previous.

We learn Ink’s price for her silence is Pat agreeing to model for her photoshoot. We also learn that he again skips bus stop duty to show up for Ink. Pran doesn’t know this and thinks Pat is skirting his responsibility to play with Ink. Once again proving to Pran that Pat chooses fun and games AND Ink over his promise to him. Only we know that Pat is doing this for you, Pran. He’s paying off her silence because you’ve made it clear you don’t want anyone knowing your shared history. It’s a version of noble idiocy that you can’t fault anyone for, the kind that hurts all parties involved.

We cut to Pran at his own rugby practice where he’s so distracted by his irritation with Pat that he tackles his opponent hard and hurts his shoulder. Pran is at Wai’s bar after practice when who should walk in for a post-photo session meal but Pat and Ink. Really? Do you guys have no other place to eat at? Did the curry spot, noodle truck, and all the other restaurants in the area suddenly get snapped by Thanos? Our Pran really can’t catch a break, can he? 

How Nanon manages to make heartache look stunningly gorgeous is beyond me. There’ll be no reenactment of Dawson crying by the creek for this guy.

He tries in vain to make a quiet escape, but Ink catches him. The face Pran makes when Ink tells him to join them is gut-wrenching. Pat pulls out a seat for him, but Pran bypasses it to sit next to Ink instead. The layers of this scene could rival that of the earth’s atmosphere. Pat looks at the chair he pulled out for Pran and presumptive understanding dawns on his face. Pran is pissed at him. Yes, but not for the reason you’re thinking, Pat!

Ink tries to engage the trio in small talk, bless her heart. We’re not sure if she’s oblivious to the tension or picks up on it and decides not to intervene, but Pat is curiously looking at Pran and Pran is valiantly looking back at him. Say what you will of Pran’s tendency to run away, but I applaud him here for meeting Pat's questioning gaze straight on. 

An unspoken conversation passes between them where both are using different interpreters. It’s reminiscent of that kids’ telephone game where you whisper a message in one person’s ear to another and once you’ve reached the last person, the message is so distorted that it barely resembles the original. That is what’s happening here. Pat is saying, I see you. You’re upset. Let me fix this. And Pran is saying, Do you? There’s nothing to fix. Because you and I are nothing to each other. And it’s Pran’s breaking heart doing the talking for him, only Pat thinks that it’s for another reason entirely and misinterprets everything.

It’s the smiling through the pain that breaks me. I’m breathless at how good he is at this, and it hurts me that he’s had years of practice.

This is an emotional trainwreck, one that is excruciatingly painful to watch, but also impossible to look away from. Ink asks if they’ll be facing off against each other in the upcoming rugby match; our boys’ eyes connect, and the small half smiles they give for Ink’s benefit is gutting. Ink wonders out loud which of the two of them she should root for, unintentionally pitting them against each other in a way that is wholly separate from anything that has to do with the rugby field.

Pat pushes the menu towards Pran and softly asks him what he wants to eat. He cares, Pran, he really does, we know you’re hurting but look beyond your broken heart right now and recognize that he cares about you. Please be brave one more time. But Ink chooses this exact moment to notice Pat’s P-bracelet because life is just that cruel to one Pran Parakul. Is that the sound of a train’s whistle racing forward in the distance?

As Ink marvels over Pat having kept the bracelet all this time, Pran is checked out and has a faraway look on his face. We’re shown a flashback of Pran watching Ink gift Pat the bracelet back in high school. This memory seems to be the final straw for Pran. It’s been a long day full of conflicting thoughts of Pat only to end with a tension-filled evening he didn’t ask for. Add to that, his stinging shoulder and Pran is just DONE with everything and everyone. He makes a flimsy excuse of only now realizing he has something to do and makes a hasty exit. Pat intuitively watches as Pran leaves.

Later in his dorm, Pran answers the door to a concerned Pat who is delivering the dinner he didn’t get to eat. Pran declines the peace offering and moves to shut his door, but winces as he inadvertently pulls his injured shoulder. Pat notices and nags him to treat it with medicine. 

Cut to the two of them sitting on Pran’s couch with Pat adamant about treating Pran’s injury and the concern he’s showing here is a much softer version of Pat, one we haven't seen before. Pran gives in to Pat’s insistence and rolls up his sleeve, we see that the injury is a lot worse than we imagined. Pat applies the meds to Pran’s shoulder and the look Pran gives him says everything. He doesn’t bother holding back the clear adoration he has for him. It’s all laid as bare as the shoulder Pat is taking care of. Pat, open your eyes and SEE PRAN. He’s right there.

How blind can Pat be? Pran is absolutely gone for him and isn’t even hiding it here. It was a taxing day and this is a moment of weakness for our Pran – where his usual facade slips.

Pat tells Pran to be more careful, that they have a game in a couple days. Pran says they’ll have an advantage then; it’ll be easier for the engineers to win. Pat responds with zero hesitation that without Pran, where’s the fun? What’s the point of even playing if Pran can’t play? And GOD, this is so telling, isn’t it? Pat, make the connection faster my guy. You’re right on the verge of figuring it out. There’s a moment where Pat finishes treating Pran’s shoulder where their eyes meet over the small space between them, and the entire fandom collectively holds our breath as we implore both to just see each other.

Pat extends their time together by asking if Pran has any makeup remover. He wants to clean off the makeup from the photoshoot. Pran comments oh the one you did with Ink? Pat is surprised that Pran already knows. Pran says Pat posted it to IG, didn’t he want the entire world to know? Yet more foreshadowing to later in the series when Pat posts about their relationship on IG. This show is dropping crumbs everywhere and we’re here gobbling it up.

Pran hands Pat the miscellar cleanser but he’s clueless on how to use it, so Pran takes over and helps him. There is something incredibly soft and gentle about Pran cleaning Pat���s face for him. It's what you do for someone you love. Pat can’t help but tease Pran with cute dimples you’ve got there. If had your dimples, would I be as cute as you? A stunned Pran is speechless that Pat paid him a compliment so openly and easily, but credit to him for not dismissing Pat’s teasing as we’d expect him to, but instead volleys back what, these dimples? and flashes them cheekily. He then tells Pat that he’s sorry to break the news, but only he can have these super-cute dimples. He then shoos Pat away and only once the door is firmly between them does Pran reveal his totally blissed-out smile. He repeats his ritual of looking through the peephole for any last visage of Pat, smiling the entire time. Forget the meds, a dose of Pat is all he really needs.

You can physically feel the sigh through this screenshot. Nanon is just that good.

If it would please the court, we’d like to conclude our closing argument that these two are in love, your honor. They are no longer hiding their flirtation behind insults; they are outright flirting now. One claims he’s hot and the other did not refute his claim and now there’s face cleansing and dimple poking involved. Your honor, we would like to rest our case that these two are out here proving our argument for us.

It’s the day of the rugby match and Pran is alone on the bleachers when Pat joins him. He asks if Pran is fit to play and reaches out to ruffle his hair, only for Pran to wave him off. Satisfied that his shoulder appears better, Pat asks, what, you’re afraid people are going to think I’m flirting with you? Way to go straight for the jugular, Pat. And he proceeds to tease and poke at Pran some more, but it’s all halted by Ink and Jam showing up. Now that there’s an audience, Pran dismisses Pat back to his side of the field.

The match is underway with the engineers in red and the architects in green. Pat and Pran are the stars of their respective teams. They both try to outdo each other on the field to the surprise of absolutely no one. There’s a beat where Pran scores, runs back, and flick-salutes Pat with a devilish smirk and oh GOD, it’s so boss and HOT. Pran, we been knowing there’s a sexy beast hidden beneath those dimples, you should unleash him more often. Hit Pat when he least expects it and promise you’ll let us watch.

I’m completely convinced that P’Aof chose rugby for this script to feed us all the waist grabbing and manhandling, and oh man are we feasting. There’s another bit where Pat has the ball and Pran comes after him, hugging him from behind. Pat hands the ball off to Korn who proceeds to score, but Pran, too busy watching the action, hasn’t yet let go of Pat. And Pat, that bastard, teases him with hug me this tight and you might as well take me as your boyfriend and has the gall to WINK at him. Boy, please.

Pran takes a hard tackle and gets up rubbing his shoulder, it doesn’t escape Pat’s notice and he pulls Korn aside with a new game plan. Pat will cover Pran. Aww, Pat. We see you. Only it doesn’t go as planned. Pran has the ball, but Pat hesitates to tackle him and out of nowhere Korn comes in for the kill and Pran goes down painfully. Wai shows up, because of course he does, and menacingly stands in between Pat who is trying to check if Pran is okay. Waisel, calm your ass down. Pran is helped off the field and Pat approaches Korn demanding why he didn’t follow the plan, he said he had Pran covered. Korn is all like hell you did, I saw you hesitate, what the hell is going on with you, Pat?! Indeed, Korn surprisingly you’re asking the right questions.

Match over and without Pran, the architects are defeated by the engineers. Ink approaches Pran and consoles him that his team would have won if he were able to stay in the game. She then gifts him with his own P-bracelet, revealing that she wanted to give it to him back in 10th grade, but he transferred before she got the chance. Aww, Ink, you made them couple bracelets. You’re totally one of us! She helps him put it on and we see Pran working up the courage to ask her something. He finally does and this will forever be the bravest moment on the show for me.

Ink is surprised and peers at Pran, maybe she sees what we all know but does Pran a solid and doesn't let on. She tells him she only sees Pat as a friend, just like how she sees him. And we can all feel Pran's visible relief at her response. Oh, Pran. Your bravery moves me because I understand what this took from you. How you've watched Pat and Ink from the sidelines all these years. Never knowing if there was more going on, but always too afraid to find out. We’ve all been here in Pran’s shoes. Having accepted that our love is unrequited, but never quite willing to seal our own fate by confirming that the object of our desire is coveted by someone else. Someone we deem more worthy of receiving our love’s affection. Someone not us. It’s a disheartening state to find yourself in, this limbo of never being able to move on yet afraid of putting the nail in your own coffin by finding out.

Pran and Ink continue to sit on the bleachers chatting away, both failing to notice that Pat is at the other end watching their interaction with an unreadable expression on his face. We aren’t sure how much he’s overheard, but we’re certain that even if he caught the entire exchange, he’d somehow draw the wrong conclusion from it.

Later that night there is another knock on Pran’s door. We only need one guess as to who’s on the other side. Seriously, how many times has Pat sought out Pran in this episode alone? The boy simply can’t stay away. Make the connection already, dude. Isn’t it telling that you somehow always manage to end up in front of Pran’s door? Ask yourself what that’s all about.

Pran opens his door to reveal that Pat got him some meds for his shoulder. Pran turns him down saying he has his own, but Pat is insistent. He tells Pran that if he wants to return the favor, to let him crash in his dorm tonight. He forgot his key and Pa isn’t answering her phone. Pran, thinking that this is yet another Pat move, and honestly who can blame him? tells Pat to keep trying for Pa and shuts the door. 

Later, Pran looks in his peephole to check if Pat is really locked out of his dorm and finds a desolate Pat sitting in their hallway. It takes him less than 30 seconds to decide that he can’t leave Pat out there and opens his door to him. This is huge. Earlier in the episode Pran was very against Pat being in his space, going so far as to kick him out just for sitting on his couch. But here he is granting him entry and a place to rest his head for the night. How far he’s come. He opens the door with slight trepidation because he knows himself. He recognizes that he probably won’t get a wink of sleep tonight knowing Pat is breathing the same air, existing in the same space as him.

Pran is setting up a sleep mat for Pat on the floor next to his bed when Pat enters from the bathroom – shirtless. And there are abs galore, my friends, so much abs. Ahem, what are you doing, sir? Have you no mercy for Pran (or us?) Pran stares without making it seem that he’s staring, we gotchu buddy. Pat asks if he can just sleep shirtless and Pran quickly says no, absolutely not and tosses him a t-shirt from his hamper. He says he hasn’t washed it yet. Pat does a sniff test and declares it still smells great. Because of course it does, it smells like Pran – the scent of heaven to Pat’s nose. Pran’s face in response is hilarious as if he’s thinking what the hell is wrong with you? And what the hell is wrong with me (for liking you)? Pat promises to wash it before returning it and Pran says don��t bother that he’s gonna toss it out implying that he no longer wants it now that it’s been worn by Pat and Pat is all, awesome, new shirt for me then.

I think Pat has found his doppelganger in Pran’s emoji lamp.

Pran is trying very hard to school his face but seeing Pat wearing his clothes has to be doing something to his insides. The shirt he’s worn on his skin is now touching Pat’s skin. I suspect the whole declaration of throwing the shirt out was just for show, this shirt is something Pran is going to cherish for the rest of time. Just like the watch. The earbuds. The guitar. And anything else related to Pat.

Pat says he can’t sleep without his comfort object, Nong Nao, and looks pleadingly at Pran. I half expected him to ask if he can join Pran in bed and use him as a Nong Nao replacement, which yes, please! But Pran is all, don’t even think about it. And in your dreams. (In ALL of our dreams, really). He instead concedes to sharing some of his blanket/comforter with him.

Sometime later, both boys are wide awake staring at nothing in particular. The awkwardness is deafening. Pat is the first to break the silence and asks if Ink gave Pran a bracelet earlier and Pran pauses before responding that yes, she did, the same one she gave to Pat. After several beats, it’s Pran’s turn to break the silence with can I ask you something? Pat responds that he also has a question that he wants to ask Pran. They both seem to already know what the other is wanting to ask. Pran insists on Pat going first. After some hemming and hawing, Pat blurts out do you like Ink? There’s some back and forth of you answer first, no I asked you first, so you answer, they then decide to both answer at the same time on the count of three.

We know Pran’s answer is a resounding no, but we’re not expecting for Pat’s answer to be yes and neither is Pran judging by his reaction. It’s like the air is completely sucked out of his lungs upon hearing Pat’s yes. He’s drowning and can’t even outwardly react because Pat is RIGHT THERE. Pat sighs in relief and actually says the words what a relief! He thought they were rivals for the same girl. Oh Pat, you stupid, clueless idiot.

Where Pran draws the strength to ask if Pat has confessed to Ink yet, I’ll never know. His eyes are flooding with unshed tears, and I just want to smack Pat here, and not affectionately either. Pat responds that he hasn’t yet and asks Pran if he thinks Ink would like him. Pran gives a deprecating chuckle and says how would he know? Pat gets up and leans over the side of the bed and asks If you were her, would you like me? Pran answers with all the life preservation he has left in him, someone like you? What’s there to like? As if he doesn’t already have a long running list of all the reasons why he’s already gone for Pat.

Pat says there are many things and proceeds to list them out. He was a drummer in Pran’s band, he prevented Pran from getting beaten up by Korn and the gang, he helped him get that sponsorship for the bus stop, he kept his guitar for him. And here P’Aof attempts to put us all in our deathbeds by complementing Pat’s narration with Pran’s own montage of all the things Pran already knows and loves about Pat. The Christmas concert where Pran sings but only has eyes for his drummer, the world’s one and only handsome guitar pick, Pat saving the day with the 100% eco-pitch, the bus stop role playing, and finally the return of his guitar. The list goes on and Pran’s chin wobbles as he holds back the dam that’s threatening to burst. How he holds all his emotions in check, I have no idea but this moment right here cements what we already know – that Pran Parakul is the strongest person on this show bar none. To endure this much and for this long. There is no one, absolutely no one, who can hold a candle to him.

Let’s face it, Pran knew there was little chance of Pat reciprocating his feelings, but Pat’s actions leading up to all this said otherwise. The dimple poking? The I think you’re cute? The if you’re not playing, then where’s the fun? The constant checking and rechecking of Pran’s shoulder injury? The incessantly showing up at Pran’s door. What are you even doing, Pat? And now you’re asking if Pran were Ink, if he’d like you? I don’t blame Pran’s response here at all. As hurtful as it is, and as much as we know that it’s a lie, it’s Pran’s only life raft at this point and he’s choosing to SURVIVE behind his I... hate you. After telling this emphatic lie, he rolls over and away from Pat.

A stunned and hurt Pat pulls away and talks out loud, almost to himself, that he has many good qualities. That even he likes himself. Well, good for you sir. We’re happy for you, but can you please shut up now? He further digs Pran’s grave by saying good luck finding someone half as good as me. Oh, you ass, this is emotional torture. We implore you to stop talking. Finally done saying his piece, he lies back down.

Noting the silence, Pran rolls back over and looks at Pat. Then P’Aof murders us by showing a close up of Pran as he looks Pat’s way. He has tears in the corners of his eyes. And there it is. Our sweet Pran has given into his pain and quietly shed his emotions no longer able to hold them at bay. He watches as Pat sleeps and the look on Pran’s face is so openly fond and endearing belying the hurtful words he said to Pat just moments earlier. I want to reach into the screen and just wrap him in a protective cocoon and tell him he’s done good. That he can rest now, that Pat is an idiot and will figure it out soon. 

Pran continues to watch Pat to his heart’s content. All those times he wanted to stare but had to pretend that he wasn’t. All the mockery and insults that he had to hide behind is quieted as he just stares and takes in his fill. He can’t help the small smile that peeks through. Everything about this moment is Pran being honest with himself when no one is there to call him on it. He doesn’t bother to hide his longing for Pat but instead gives into it, just for this small breadth of time and it feels so private and personal that we can’t help but feel like we’re intruding. 

He finally looks away and shakes his head, wipes at his tears, and then yanks all the bed covers off of Pat. That’s right, the boy doesn’t deserve any of that warmth. Not tonight. Our Pran turns over to his side and we're left wondering how tear-soaked his pillow will be come morning. Life doles its cruelty out indiscriminately and unfairly, but damn it feels like Pran has suffered more than his share. 

Chemistry based off of eye contact alone? These two have it in abundance.

And with that heaviness, we conclude our fourth hour with our boys. Let’s get some of the lighter points out of the way first. I think P’Aof landed at just the right amount of screen time for the friends. I didn’t find them as grating in this episode as in the previous ones maybe because their screen time was limited and therefore more tolerable. The focus of the story has shifted to Pat and Pran’s relationship, as it should. The show is telling us to buckle in, we’re no longer in the build-up phase, we’re about to enter the main story and based on this episode’s ending, I’m not sure that our hearts are prepared for what’s coming.

I like how Ink was introduced and everyone’s first inclination was to be up in arms at her sudden appearance. We’re so used to a third-party foil that we were all ready to sharpen our knives and pitchforks in defense of Pran. I absolutely love that P’Aof and his team quickly put our fears to ease by subverting all our usual expectations. Ink wasn’t introduced to be a villainous foil but more the catalyst to push our boys out of their comfort zone, especially Pran. If Ink hadn’t shown up, we can safely assume that Pran would continue loving Pat from a distance and never really doing anything about it. She also serves as the catalyst for Pat as well, but in the next episode. Ink is out here flexing her ability to push people to confront themselves simply by existing. We stan this girl.

I love their friendship. There’s a genuine mutual fondness here. No wonder Pat was worried he was losing Pran to Ink.

And how great is Ink? She has to know or at least suspect Pran’s feelings for Pat, but she respectfully keeps it to herself. How much do I love that she treats Pran’s question with dignity, but also keeps it light with her teasing. She focuses on teasing Pran and less on the real reason why Pran is asking. She has to know the amount of courage it took for Pran to ask, and rather than laugh him off, she studies him and assures him that there’s nothing more than friendship on her end. And the couple bracelets? Have I mentioned how much we stan this girl?

The parents didn’t play a role at all this episode, and I didn’t miss their presence one bit. There’ll be plenty of time for all that later. P’Aof is showing us Pat and Pran on their turf – at university surrounded by all their friends. He’s detailing the gradual changes to Pat and Pran’s relationship and how they handle these external factors before he pulls in the parental drama. In a way, he’s giving us a reprieve though never letting us forget that there’s a much larger obstacle waiting on the horizon. He’s working at establishing Pat and Pran as a united front in preparation for when the parents enter the picture. I, for one, am going to enjoy all of this parent-free drama for as long as we can.

Their eyes are always looking for each other even in a crowd of people.

I love that we’re shown how the boys are different when alone with each other. Without an audience to dictate their behavior, there’s less of a wall for Pat to scale to get to Pran. This is an especially noted change for Pran who is clearly concerned with people finding out that they’re more than mere faculty rivals. How far has Pran come from not even allowing Pat to sit on his couch at the beginning of this episode, to giving him a safe haven and a place to rest his head at the end? We can see that Pran’s defenses are on shaky ground as tornado Pat picks up speed and sweeps him away. Resistance is futile, kind sir. We all eventually succumb to the whirlwind that is Pat. It’s only a matter of time.

The flashbacks revealed so much this episode. We were fed a lot of background on their high school days. But keep in mind that we’re seeing all this through Pran’s perspective and he’s remembering it through the lens of loving Pat from afar. How reliable is Pran as a narrator? Is it possible that he read more into Pat and Ink’s interactions than both Pat or Ink felt themselves? I think Pran uses what he sees and remembers as an excuse to keep Pat at arm’s length. There’s less chance of getting his hopes up this way by creating that emotional barrier between himself and Pat. He’s convinced Pat can never feel for him the way he wants so having Ink there as a stand-in-between is convenient, if foolhardy. So, when Pran asks Ink if she likes Pat and learns that her answer is no that tempered hope dangerously re-ignites for Pran. And it was probably everything he was trying to avoid, but still had to know.

I want to touch on Pat showing up at Pran’s door consistently bearing gifts. In this episode alone it began with the earbuds, then the chicken dinner delivery, and then the meds for his shoulder. Even before this, he hangs onto Pran’s guitar for years waiting for an opportunity to return it to him. And it doesn’t even have to be at Pran’s door, Pat insists on helping him look for the dropped earbud, he’s adamant about treating his injured shoulder, he pushes the bar menu at Pran and asks him what he wants to eat, he tells Korn that he’ll cover Pran in the rugby match, he delivers food after Pran leaves because he doesn’t want him to go hungry. This is a recurring theme of Pat looking out for Pran in big and small ways. He likes feeling needed and useful to those he cares about; he’s a caretaker by nature and a fixer by environment, but also, this gives him a reason and excuse to see and spend time with Pran which is really at the heart of Pat’s desire though he doesn’t recognize it yet.

If all these acts of service and making himself a ‘necessity’ to Pran isn’t a metaphor for Pat offering himself, and his heart, to him then I don’t know what we’re even doing here. Notice that Pran consistently declines whatever it is Pat is offering – his gifts, his help, and his time – why? Pran doesn’t want to owe Pat. We’ve seen that he had to psych himself up just to say a simple thank you. Pran grew up learning to be independent by way of self-efficiency, this is in part due to how he was raised but also if you don’t rely on anyone else, then no one can let you down, right? 

Pran, an only child, grew up friend-starved, he never needed to depend on anyone but himself. We see this in his friendship with Wai where Wai is the one who constantly takes and Pran is the one who gives. One might say that Pran doesn’t know any other way of being so doesn’t recognize that what he has with Wai is emotionally abusive at worst and a lopsided friendship at best. We also see it in the way Pran automatically assumes the role of leader in his friend group, taking on the bus stop rebuild when he had no obligation to do so. He doesn’t know how to be the one who leans on someone else. 

So, here comes Pat who not only wants nothing in return, other than to prolong their time spent together, but also voluntarily sets himself as a stalwart companion for Pran, someone he can look to and depend on. Our Pran doesn’t know what to do with this change to his routine and way of life. He’s perfectly fine with Pat owing him (recall the debt extracted for saving Pa), but doesn’t know what to do with himself when the roles are reversed. 

Now let’s look at this from Pat’s side. Does he feel that he needs to make himself worthy of Pran’s friendship? Even when helping him with the bus stop, there’s a sense that Pat feels he has to prove himself useful to Pran so that Pran would find reason to keep him around. I blame Ming who shows his love and affection only when Pat brings him good tidings, that he scored well on an exam, made president of his faculty, is a star athlete, top of the food chain. He doesn’t show Pat that he loves his son just because he’s his son, no strings attached or accolades necessary. This measurement of perceived value by delivering good marks and deeds has got to be deeply ingrained in Pat after all these years. It’s something he and Pran would need to work at fixing – that Pat doesn’t need to bring gifts or show excellence to be loved. Pat needs to recognize that Pran loves him just as he is, chaotic goof and all and not because he does things for him. That Pran’s love is not a tradeoff and can’t be bought. It’s freely given because of who Pat is, not because of what Pat can offer. 

In that same vein, it’s curious that Pat lists all the reason why Pran (as Ink) should like him but fails to realize that none of the things on his list were even done for Ink? In fact, most of them happened when Ink wasn’t even around. What’s that about, Pat? Are you being willfully blind to your feelings for Pran? Or are you unconsciously testing the waters by asking Pran if what you’ve done is enough, can be enough for him to love you?

We assure you, Pat, it’s more than enough. He loves you despite all your flaws. He’s witnessed them all and still loves you anyway. You only need to open your eyes and see it. 

):):):):):):):):)

Thank you as always for reading and reliving EP4 with me. Next up, Pat experiences an awakening as we shift from Pran’s point of view to that of our favorite engineer. I hope you’ll stick around for it. I’ll try not to go so long in between updates this time. For those who may have been worried that I would abandon this post series, fear not, I fully intend to see this through completion. I’m afraid you're stuck with me and my ramblings for the long haul.