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bippot · 6 months

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Summary: How many times does Vigilante need to get injured before Harcourt finally gives in and hires a medic to help out with the squad's injuries? Far too many times, that's how many.

When it's uncovered that a fancy hotel is linked to, not only what's left of the legion of butterflies, but also a string of weird deaths and missing persons reports, the only two for the job are lovesick Adrian and the newbie.

Additional Tags: Canon-Typical Violence, Gun Violence, Blood and Injury, Undercover as a Couple, Fluff, Idiots in Love, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Summer Vacation, Butterflies, Alien Invasion, Stitches, Weird Biology, Creep in a Bathroom, Aphrodisiacs, Date Rape Drug/Roofies, Drugging, Peeping, general weirdness, Human Experimentation

Peacemaker, Adrian Chase Masterlist - here

Previous chapter: The Bee’s Knees

Almost as if she was about to pet a wild animal, Y/N moved so slowly as she cupped the back of Adrian's neck, droplets from his wet hair falling onto her fingers and sliding down her wrist as she did so. His lips parted slightly in wonder, but then quickly he blinked them shut again and swallowed a big nervous gulp of air as he tried to regain control over himself. He was drooling and couldn’t seem to stop himself.

“Champ, you need to tell me if at any point you want to stop or things are too much, okay? If you do, we'll stop. If you want to take over, you can take over, I just...” she trailed off, trying to find words that would reassure him. It was a weird situation that she was still coming to terms with. "Promise me you will tell me, please."

He looked up at her through thick eyelashes, and even though the expression on his face didn't change, it felt like there was a whole other world behind those lids now. She could almost hear him thinking, 'thank god!' and that thought caused some of her anxiety to melt away just a little. He did give her a small nod of his head but it wasn't enough.

"Out loud, baby," Y/N urged gently, leaning forward to press her lips against his forehead. “Need you to say it for me.”

"Please! I consent to whatever you want to do to me... just help me!" Adrian choked out in one trembling breath, and then his hand came up to grip at Y/N's shirt, holding himself steady. Y/N could see how badly his hands were shaking, and she wanted nothing more than to wrap herself around him and never let go.

If Harcourt ever found out, she'd be in trouble. Yet, how could she just sit there and watch him double over in erotic pain?

No, she had to act. A tiny part of her brain whispered that this might not be the greatest idea in the long run, but once she finally used her grip on his neck to tug his lips towards hers, all thoughts of rationality disappeared.

Obviously, they'd kissed before. So many times before. An uncountable amount. This one was different. It felt deeper and dirtier, filled with promises of more - a lot more - to come.

Adrian couldn't go any longer without Y/N surrounding his every sense and yanked her by the hips onto his lap, pressing her entire body into his as if she was the only thing anchoring him to reality right now. She responded automatically, letting her thighs straddle his and wrapping her arms around his shoulders to make sure they were flush together with virtually no space between them, practically sandwiching each other as they kissed like their lives depended on it.

For a moment they seemed to fuse together seamlessly, the tension dissipating between them as they allowed themselves to forget everything but each other's mouths moving over and under and around each other in an endless, mindless rhythm. Until, eventually, they broke apart and Y/N pressed her lips to his cheek over and over again as her fingertips began moving down his chest, and down even further till they reached the top of the towel wrapped around his waist.

"Shall I take this off?"

"Fuckin' take it off," he growled, his own voice sounding gruff as he ran his hands over her back, pushing her shirt upwards. "Off me, off you. Just take everything off."

So, she did. She removed the top half of her clothes as quickly as she could with Adrian holding her waist tightly in his arms, his nose finding itself between her boobs as soon as they were revealed to him. His hands slid underneath the back of the waistband of her trousers, his palms sliding to grip her ass firmly as he pulled her closer, his thumb drawing patterns into her bare skin.

"Let me just -" Her hand slid between their bodies to tug the towel out of the way. "Oh baby, that looks so painful," she mumbled, wincing once she got a look at how uncomfortably aroused he was.

"Hurts so bad," he whimpered, biting his lip hard enough that Y/N was worried he was going to break the skin. She gently pulled at his bottom lip with her thumb to unhook it from his teeth.

Carefully moving off his lap to wiggle down her trousers, Y/N intended to get to her knees when she was undressed but was stopped. Adrian gripped onto her hips as though she was a delicate glass statue that he would accidentally break if he let go of it for even a millisecond and just stared at her with unblinking green eyes.

"Just taking a mental picture in case this never happens again."

It was a quiet, hesitant statement. It was as if he feared she might reject him or laugh in his face at what a dork he was being right now. But all Y/N did was laugh and roll her eyes fondly before she leaned forwards to kiss him again because how could she not? He was really fucking adorable.

Somehow, he got even more desperate this time - his hand ran up and down her sides as his mouth attacked hers roughly like she was the most delicious thing he'd ever tasted. He felt so lightheaded when her hand began travelling up his knee, up his thigh, the tippy tops of her fingers slid along his shaft until she took him into her palm and gave his cock a gentle squeeze.

"Oh my gawd!" he moaned, throwing his head back, which bared his throat and gave her the perfect opportunity to suckle at the spot where his neck joined his shoulder.

The noises Adrian made were definitely hotter now they were up close and personal. They were primal and desperate, and they drove Y/N insane with lust as he writhed under her, his hips bucking wildly in an attempt to chase his release.

Kneeling between his legs, she pulled back and swiped away the string of saliva connecting them. He watched her with the biggest lovesick eyes she'd ever seen in her life, his pupils blown wide and dilated until they were mostly black. He looked like he was about to explode, his breathing uneven and rapid, the sweat trickling down his temples as he tried not to cry out.

"Please, Y/N, oh God, please. Please..." he begged, the words falling from his lips in broken spurts that made her heart ache. "I need to cum, I need... I need... Fuck!"

He clenched his jaw tight in frustration.

"I can't -" He groaned, his head dropping onto her shoulder with a heavy thud. A tear spilled down his cheek and Y/N caught sight of it in her peripheral vision.

"Do you want me to stop?" she asked anxiously. "Should I stop?"

"Don't stop, just... More...need more."

"Okay baby, I'll give you more."

Y/N stretched to kiss his sweaty hip once more before her tongue licked up the length of his shaft, circling and licking around the tip when she reached it. Adrian tensed when she took him into her mouth and started to bob her head in a steadily slow rhythm, he moaned and his body began to shake as the pleasure he'd been trying to release built up inside him.

"Mmm...can you take a bit.. a bit more...? Fuck!" he panted, clutching tightly at her shoulder when she did as he asked. "God, fuck, that's it. You’re so nice to let me fuck your throat like this -"

His sentence was interrupted since Y/N took him all the way into her throat and he couldn’t hold back another high-pitched whine. It was like his restraint snapped and was released all at once, and he fell backwards onto the couch in a boneless heap, gasping for air, his head falling heavily back onto the cushion, his legs spasming slightly as he lost control. He couldn’t contain the loud moan that left his lips nor the way he unloaded everything he'd pent up into her mouth.

Once she'd swallowed her mouthful, her palms were soothing his shaking thighs, rubbing circles to help calm him down.

"Feel better?"

"Better. Still not great but definitely better."

Hazarding a look at his junk, she could see that the situation was still in an upright position. At least he was significantly less bulbously red now. And he wasn't unconsciously drooling anymore, either.

That's good.

"Let's move to the bed, champ. Get you all comfy," Y/N muttered. Adrian nodded wordlessly as she helped him to his feet, held his hand as she guided to the bed and pushed his shoulders down so he'd sit. Like he did in every aspect of his life when it came to Y/N, he followed her as if she'd put a leash on him and he did it with the biggest, most lovesick eyes anyone had ever witnessed.

"I'm sorry I was so stupid about the chocolate. Wish this could've been, I dunno, more romantic." He shrugged and looked away all bashful. "I would've preferred if you actually wanted to have sex with me."

"I want to have sex with you," she reassured, reaching out for his cheek and caressing it lightly with her thumb. “Champ, I think about having sex with you so much that sometimes I think my brain might implode.”

Adrian snorted - an awkward disbelieving snort that softened her entire face - and he found himself pulling Y/N closer to press their foreheads together affectionately. The heat radiating from his body was almost scorching against hers, his skin warm and rough against her soft skin, and the scent of him intoxicating her, making her stomach flip and churn.

"Me too,” he admitted, “like, way too often.”

"I know you do. I can tell when all those dirty thoughts about me appear right here in this pretty head of yours.” Her smile widened mischievously and her forefinger tapped his temple for a moment, before resting against his lips. "You get this stupid grin, then you start to shift in your seat a bit, and whenever you do, your eyes widen and you just stare at me as if I'm the only woman in the room."

"Does it weird you out? I'll stop thinking about you all the time if you wan-"

"It doesn't weird me out, baby. It makes me feel... special. Makes me feel desired."

"I lied before. I don't think I'll ever stop thinking about you all the time."

She melted. There was no denying that.

An "Aww" almost slipped past her lips but she managed to catch it in time so she didn't end up embarrassing him at a vulnerable moment. Yet, he seemed to get the message when her eyes became as big as saucers and her breath hitched in shock, a flushed a bright pink shade adorning her cheeks.

"Oh."

"Yeah..." he chuckled nervously.

What if this confession just fucked everything up? What if this was a mistake and he'd regret saying anything because it had suddenly become so real? They were a great fake couple, but what if they were an awful real life match? Did he truly deserve her after all he'd done? Was he even worthy of being her real partner?

As soon as Adrian finished voicing all these thoughts to himself in his head, he could hear Y/N's giggle bubble up from inside of her chest and before she even had the chance to say a single word, he was being pulled into a deep kiss that filled the both of them with nothing but pure bliss. Adrian's arms wrapped securely around her waist and her hands gripped tight onto his shoulder as he tugged at her bottom lip with his teeth, coaxing her mouth open. She opened it willingly, her tongue brushing against his and tangling themselves together in a messy mess that made his head spin and his body tingle.

"Do you know if the weird sex hamper had condoms in it?"

"If I knew it was a weird sex hamper, we wouldn't be in this situation."

Fair point. Y/N attempted to go and check the gift basket but as soon as she'd taken a step away, he was whining, "Come back... please?" and reaching for her wrist to pull her back towards him. Her laugh vibrated through her whole frame.

"I'll be two seconds, ya big baby."

"Too long."

By the time she'd said, "Suck it up," she'd already found out that, no, the gift basket didn't contain condoms. It was filled to the brim with sex toys, though. The layer of chocolate on top had done an excellent job at hiding what was below.

There was three different kinds of flavoured lube, a dildo, a vibrator, two buttplugs, a lingerie set that was disturbingly in Y/N's exact size, rope, a flogger with the name and logo of the hotel on the handle and a little square packet that looked like a condom. It wasn't.

Y/N ripped open the foil to find that she'd just opened a hand wipe. Sanitary. Just not protection. Well, they'd have to risk it.

"You are one lucky son of a bitch."

"Am I?"

"No condoms."

"No?"

"Yep."

"...That's a shame." He let out another awkward chuckle to try and not show how much he was freaking out over the thought of having sex with her and being able to feel every single part of her without any barrier whatsoever. His eyes glazed over at the mere idea of it and it felt wrong and weird and so unbelievably good all at the same time. "I'll pull out."

Would he remember, though? She knew he'd be sensitive and there was no chance he would think to pull out once his head was overwhelmed with pleasure.

"Yeah, sure you will,” she teased.

So he corrected himself.

"I'll try to pull out."

"Baby, don't even worry about it. If anything happens, I'll sort it out when we get home. Just focus on enjoying yourself right now,” she murmured, pushing some hair from his forehead lovingly. "Go ahead and lay back, alright?"

Like always, he did as she said and was rewarded by Y/N crawling onto his lap, his erection nudging against her thigh as she pressed her lips against his. During this smooch, one of Y/N's hands travelled to her crotch and just as the tip of her finger was about to play with her clit, Adrian placed his hand on hers.

"Can I? I mean, I want to, obviously, is it okay if I take over?" he asked with his lips smushed against hers. He got his answer when she pushed his hand to the right spot on her mound and Y/N let out a soft gasp at the feeling. He smiled against her lips and began stroking her gently, building the tension within her belly until he pushed a finger inside and she let out a strangled moan. "You're so wet...oh my god."

He moved his finger inside, curling slowly, taking in the sight in front of him - her back arched into his chest, her boobs pressing against him, her thighs perched on top of his, and her pussy squeezing his index finger.

"You’re fucking dripping. Did blowing me turn you on?" he inquired huskily, his voice almost inaudible and full of awe. He took a quick peek down between her thighs at the rhythm of her hips bucking upward into his hand, and he couldn’t help but swallow thickly.

"Yeah. A lot," she panted, her volume increasing as another finger slipped into her entrance. He moved his fingers a little faster and she let out a short cry of excitement, clutching onto the side of his neck whilst her other hand ran through his soft hair, keeping it off his sweaty brow.

"You're so hot right now - well, all the time - but right now, holy shit! So sexy. Love those little whines you make. Makes me so fucking desperate." He kissed the corner of her mouth. "Fuck, Y/N, I need to be in you. Please. Please, I need to be inside you so badly, please, I-"

A loud knock on the door interrupted him and Adrian groaned, burying his face between her neck and her shoulder.

"Maybe they'll go away," he hoped aloud, trying and failing miserably to sound convincing since another bout of bangs happened just as his sentence ended. Y/N hastily grabbed one of Adrian's shirts and underwear off the floor to slip on before she opened the door, peering outside curiously.

Sparrow gave Y/N a quick once over and smiled.

"Mrs Bardot! Are you two alright in there? We've already had the first course but if you'd like I'd ask the cook to whip you something up quick," Sparrow announced, although he was obviously aware that the couple probably weren't going to leave their room for a while.

"Oh, that's very kind of you, but I think we're fine," Y/N replied sweetly, trying her best to keep her tone as neutral and keeping the door opened just a smidge - just enough for her to see Sparrow but not enough for him to see Adrian and his nakedness. "Thanks again, Sparrow, Marty and I will see you tomorrow."

In an instant, Sparrow grinned at her before turning on his heel and walking away. "See you lovebirds at breakfast!" He called behind his shoulder and walked away, leaving Y/N to close the door.

Once it was shut, she leaned against it and sighed in relief, turning to face Adrian who was staring at her intensely with a smug smile plastered across his lips. He quickly sat up straight and held his arms out to her. Y/N obliged with no hesitation, stripping off as she returned to her previous position, only this time she had a bottle of lube.

"Hello, there."

"Are you really pretending to be Obi Wan Kenobi right before I sit on your cock?" Y/N teased, running her fingers along his jawline and then up towards his cheekbones to rest her palm against his cheek.

"Why do I get the feeling you're going to be the death of me?" He quoted Attack of the Clones in a monotonous voice but the smile that spread across his face as soon as the words left his mouth was a telltale sign that he felt very proud of himself.

That pride suddenly turned into something else when she gripped his wrists and pinned them down to the pillow beneath him and climbed on top of him. Adrian let out a surprised squeak. His eyes widening when she squished the bottle of lube until his cock was slick and smelling of artificial watermelon.

"It's over, Adrian. I have the high ground!"

"You are my dream girl. Did my brain make you up? Nah, not even my imagination is this good or this beautiful." He chuckled breathlessly as she started peppering his face and neck with kisses. "I can't believe that this is real."

"It's real, champ." She nipped lightly on his earlobe and lined the head of his cock with her entrance. "Does this feel real to you?"

With one last kiss to his nose, she slowly lowered herself down until he was halfway sheathed. They were both silent as she stared at his face, searching his expression for any signs of discomfort. She found none and relaxed slightly before closing her eyes, exhaling shakily.

" I-I’m really fucking you. I-I’m really inside of you right now…"

And then Y/N slid fully down on her 'husband’s' length, her palms resting on his pecs as she tried to control her movements. Every inch was still as stiff as steel, but eventually he began to ease up as her body adjusted to him. Adrian closed his eyes at the feeling and let out a quiet sigh, savouring every moment.

"Shit, that’s my girl."

Every touch, every caress sent shockwaves through his body which caused his breathing to become more ragged; every movement of her hips was like a drug to him, sending his mind into a frenzy of wanting, wanting more, and wanting even more than that.

"I love watching you bounce on top of me. Love watching my cock go in and out of that tight pussy," he moaned out, grabbing hold of Y/N's ass and rolling her hips against him, forcing her to increase speed and grind against his cock with more force.

She gasped when he hit a particularly sensitive spot causing her entire body to quake uncontrollably. "Is that the spot? It is, isn't it, beautiful?" he purred into her ear. "Fucking hell, baby." His grip on her ass tightened and she could hear his breaths get heavier and shallower.

Y/N pulled back a bit and stared down at him, her eyes darkening at the sight, loving how flushed and dazed he looked; the passion in his eyes was burning brighter and more intense each time she made eye contact with him, as if he could never look away from her. And when he did manage to avert his gaze from hers, it was to stare directly at her boobs, biting his bottom lip and swallowing heavily as a lewd moan escaped his throat at the way they bounced.

"Adrian, baby, feel good for me," she whispered in his ear, her voice deep and husky. She didn’t know what possessed her but it seemed like she was completely lost in her own world as she started to move her hips around, the friction of her clit against his pubic bone pushing herself closer and closer to the edge.

"You’re tensing up, are you gonna come? Oh shit, you are too tight! Oh, God, fuck!" He cried out loudly, his arms locking behind her back to pull her towards him, his bucking hips moving in sync with hers. He pressed his forehead against the crook of her neck, panting wildly as his release built steadily within him. "Y/N, I'm coming. I - oh my god."

He squeezed his eyes shut at the intensity of it all. A moment later, he felt Y/N tense up and her hands flew to his hair as she released her orgasm with a groan that echoed throughout the bedroom, her back arching against him and her legs clenching around his waist.

He was left gasping and panting after his climax, but it seemed the problem still hadn't been solved.

"Still feeling it?" she inquired with a grin, kissing the side of his mouth lightly. He rolled his neck, his eyes hazy with lust and his cheeks flushed red.

"Do you want me to tell the truth?" he asked, his voice still hoarse. He shook his head to clear the haze from his brain. "That felt legit the best but, yeah, still feel it."

"Okay. When you're ready, we can try it again."

"Really?" He leant forward eagerly, reaching up to cup the sides of her face. "We can have sex again? Right now?"

"Right now."

Flipping them over, Adrian pushed her onto her back so he could hover over her with his elbows on either side of her head. In one swift motion, he was hovering above her, his hips thrusting up into her core as she writhed underneath him, moaning loudly as his pace increased. Her nails dug deeply into his shoulders as he buried his face in her neck and sucked hard on her pulse point.

"Gonna mark you up real pretty. Sparrow definitely won't look at you the way he does now, make it obvious you're my little wifey. Would you like that?" He grunted roughly as he drove into her, making her squirm and gasp, and would continue to do so over and over and over again.

After almost two handfuls of rounds later, Y/N had tears streaming down her cheeks, face down with her pleasured cries being drowned out by her pillow. The sound of Adrian's grunts filled the room as he drove his hips into her from behind, his chest slick with sweat.

"You've been such a good girl for me. Thank you," he panted, burying his face in the curve of her neck. "You’re my favourite person in the world. I love you. So fucking much. More than anything. Always will. You’re my angel."

Y/N whimpered as he buried his teeth in her skin, biting just below her ear while she began clinging tightly to the sheets. Tears fell freely and her heart felt warm at the sweet sentiment behind his words. His love and devotion was so raw that it felt like a part of her soul had finally been put in its place.

Because he was truly fucked out, he had no idea that he'd said anything. The past few hours had been a mess of 'Fuck, you’re so pretty like this', 'Holy shit, how are you this perfect?', 'You like how I fuck my pretty wife's pussy, yeah?' and a bunch of other stuff he was too messy to say coherently.

The final wave of pleasure washed over his body as a silent scream ripped from his throat. His entire body convulsed violently and shook out the final remainder of the aphrodisiac in his system before he collapsed onto her, panting, sweaty and spent.

Trying to catch his breath, he lay there for some moments before he lifted himself back off of Y/N and rested his weight on his elbow, staring at her with an adoring smile. He reached out and stroked her cheek gently before placing a soft kiss on it.

"Are you okay? Did I -" He yawned sleepily, wiping away the stray drool from the corner of his mouth. "Are you sore? Do you need anything? Water? Food?"

"Hey. No, you did good babe. I'm...I'm fine. Just sweaty." She wiped her cheeks quickly, trying to calm herself, her hand running through his tousled brown locks.

"Let me carry you to the shower?" He offered sweetly, getting up on his knees and tugging her tired body to sit up. He placed her feet on the floor and helped steady her, brushing away the sweat from her brow and rubbing her back tenderly.

They showered and changed into their pjs and got into bed, admittedly Y/N's thighs were very shaky so she needed a helping hand getting her legs through her trousers but they eventually settled down for the night. Well, the very early morning.

Taglist: @sarahskywalker-amidala , @she-wolf09231982 , @afraidofshrimp

Despite how tired Y/N was, she couldn't help herself from looking at Adrian's sleeping face and watching over him so if he had any complications due to the mass amount of aphrodisiacs he'd ingested earlier, she would react as quickly as she could. Occasionally, she'd have to pinch herself to stay awake as she watched his chest rise and fall rhythmically with every breath he took.

Next chapter: Afterglow

(Wanna be added to the taglist? Just message me or leave a comment :p)

#adrian chase #vigilante #vigilante x reader #adrian chase x female reader #peacemaker #adrian chase x y/n #adrian chase x reader

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lord-of-the-harvest · 11 months

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Pleasure, Pain, and Power Chapter 5

Chapter 5-All Of The Why’s

Summary: Cont. of Chapter 4. Ren returns home from a long day of work and all he wants is to relax with his new Pet. However, Jasmine is insistent on keeping a secret from him, something Ren never liked. Maybe showing her a secret of his own will help her feel more “comfortable” opening up to him.

Contains: kidnapping, smut, blood, knife-play, non-con, typical Ren-behavior. Mentions of degloving, age play, and sexwork

NSFW

MDNI

4137 Word Count

A soft beeping came from the front door and Jasmine braced herself for what was to come. She still had no idea what Ren’s intentions were with her, and him finally coming home after a long day terrified her. However, he emerged with flowers in hand and a big smile on his face. “Hello darling, I’m home!” He cheerfully declared to his pet. “I brought you a little gift for your first day.” It was a bouquet of dark red roses and baby’s breath wrapped in dark navy paper. “Ren, why am I here?” Jasmine asked, staring him down, not acknowledging his gift. His smile dropped and his hand landed at his side. “I've had a long day, and I’m being incredibly nice. Do you really want to do this now?” The demeanor change threw Jasmine off guard. He was right, even though he was holding her captive, he had been “nice” this whole time. Maybe she should play along, if only to ensure he won’t snap at her. “I-I guess not, I can wait.” She was flustered, but his face rose at this, and again offered her the flowers. Jasmine took them, holding them close as she watched Ren walk into the bedroom. Should she follow him? Or stay where she was? She looked at the flowers. Maybe I should get a vase for these. “Come here darling, I want to hear about what you got up to today.” What I got up to? He could see what she “got up to”, she didn’t try to cover the camera again. The memory of the shocks from her first incident rang through her muscle memory each time she thought about it. She shuttered and entered the bedroom after him. Ren was half undressed, his suit lazily thrown into the hamper, waiting for a response. “Well I finished eating, and I found this in the closet.” She gestured to the black satin set she had been wearing all day. “And the sandwiches you made were really good too, thank you for those.”

Ren smiled again. This is what he wanted, someone to come home to and forget about work with. “You’re welcome, Pet, did you get up to anything else?” He hopped into some gray sweatpants and a black t-shirt. Yes, he knew she tried covering the camera, but he wanted her to tell him herself. He needed her honesty and obedience for this arrangement to work out. “Well I watched a little Netflix, the Junji Ito series-” “Oh I loved that one, we should finish it together!” Ren excitedly cut her off at this. “And how were you with your new collar? You must have been behaving today since you’re still standing.” Thoughts and questions swarmed Jasmine’s brain at that. He must know I tried covering it, and that I got too close to the window. What does he mean by ‘still standing’? How many times has he done this? ‘We should watch it together?’ Does he think we’re some kind of couple now? It took all her strength to not flood him with her myriad of questions. “It was…ok? I found the camera on it, thanks for telling me about it before I got changed.” She said sarcastically and tilted her head at him, but his grin didn’t falter. “I tried covering it, but that made it shock me. Again, thanks for warning me about that. It went off again when I got close to a window, which I didn’t even think would be an ‘exit’. Again, thanks for warni-“ she was cut off by Ren’s arms wrapping around her. “Sounds like you had a lovely day then, Pet. Why don’t we have some dinner?”

Ren made his way towards the kitchen. “Let me see, how do you like your steak? I was thinking steak, potatoes, and asparagus for dinner tonight.” Ren started rummaging through the fridge, pulling out meat and various sauces. “I guess medium?” This was all too strange, he was acting like he didn’t just kidnap her. Maybe she should just go with the flow, no matter what happens that night, making him mad can only hurt her. “Do you need any help?” This question Ren didn’t expect, but he welcomed the help. The two prepped and cooked together, Ren cracking jokes and Jasmine nervously laughing with him.

The two sat in the dining room, and began to eat. Ren had just popped a piece of almost raw meat in his mouth when he started the talk. “So, you want to know all of the ‘why’s’, right? Why is this happening? Why am I doing this, why you?” Jasmine looked up, and nodded at his questions. “Well the simple answers are because I wanted to, I’m good at it, and because I can.” He said with a grin plastered across his face. “My line of work is very…stressful at times, incredibly demanding, and simply enough, having someone to come home to takes a lot of that stress off. As for the ‘why you’ is because I liked you Jasmine, and after talking for a while, I figured you’d make a delightful pet to come home to.” Jasmine couldn’t believe what she was hearing, she was almost flattered by it. Someone liked her, and enjoyed her company so much, he kidnapped her to have all to himself. She’d never admit it to him, but with all the slasher fanfics she reads, she was almost aroused by it. Ren continued on with his explanations, but Jasmine had almost checked out after being called a “delightful pet”. Sure she was into this stuff, but not when it was happening for real. Right? She still needed to keep her cool and find a way out.

Ren took a pause, still eating his barely cooked steak, and Jasmine took the advantage to speak up. “So I’m just here. I can’t leave? I can’t go back to school or work?” She was getting heated, but tried calming her voice as much as she could. “Well yes and no. For right now, yes. You won’t be able to leave at all, and obviously you can’t work or go to school. However, with time, training, and trust, you’ll be able to gain some of those privileges back. The two of us could go out, I could arrange for you to leave with proper protection, and I might even allow monitored internet access. It all depends on how you behave, darling.” Jasmine sat back in her chair, playing with her fork. Ren had answered her questions, and they somewhat made sense. One question played back in her head, one that had nagged at her since she first started talking to Ren. “You never told me what you actually do for work. What kind of job lets you do all of this?” It didn’t add up. The money, the tech, the mentions of “protection”. Not to mention she would have heard about a big shot beastkin in the industry. At the very least, Shiloh would have brought him up in one of their rants about the lack of beastkins in the media. Ren smirked, “I said I was in the entertainment industry, and that’s all you need to know darling.” She sat with this, she knew he was lying, or at least hiding the full truth. She decided he must be a part of some organized crime ring, and shouldn’t push it further. “Eat your dinner darling, it'll get cold.”

The two sat in relative silence throughout the rest of their meal, and then made their way to the living room. “Let’s watch something! I know you like horror, so how about the new Terrifier?” Ren jumped onto the couch, sitting cross legged and waiting for Jasmine to sit with him. She sat down, still trying to keep her distance from him. Of course, Ren slid closer to her, and actually handed her his phone. “Here, write down what all you want, I’m sending someone to your apartment tomorrow.” It was opened to the notes app with her apartment info already typed out at the top. “How the Hell did you get my address?! How long have you known it?!” All things considered, this really shouldn’t surprise her. As Jasmine thought, though, it started to make her stomach churn. Has he known my address the whole time? What was that date then? He could’ve kidnapped me from the start? Was I ever safe, even in my own home?

“Your ID, darling.” He snapped her out of her crazed thoughts. Ren was lying, of course, he had known her address for at least a month now, but Jasmine didn’t need to know that. He wanted a nice relaxing night, not an outburst from her. “Oh..right, sorry about that.” She typed on his phone all the supplies she wanted. Clothes, makeup, games, she even put down her laptop in hopes of him letting it slide. Ren got the movie going, and casually reached his arm around Jasmine’s shoulders. He brought her close and started rubbing his thumb up and down her arm. The dinner made her sleepy, and he was so warm, and soft, and smelled of cologne and fancy soap, she couldn’t help but sink into him a bit. The day had been so stressful and full of unanswered questions, and she just wanted a bit of relaxation.

The movie started and Jasmine finished her list and handed the phone back to Ren. Of course, he had locked it on the notes app, he really did stay a few steps ahead of her. She saw the time before handing it back and sighed. “I would be streaming now. Someone sent me another degloving video to react to, I had a little routine already planned out, I was almost excited for it.” Ren noticed the drop in her voice, and decided to give her a little encouragement. “Can I see your ‘routine’?” He brought his arm back and looked at her, waiting for her to perform. She smiled softly, looking back at him. “I’m not going to give you the routine, I don’t even have the video with me.” “Well then pretend, or react to the movie! I always looked forward to seeing your streams and how well you acted in them.” Ren smiled back, even though it wasn’t his “thing”, he did think it was cute, and could see how much she enjoyed it. As soon as he said that, Art the clown started fidgeting with his missing eye on screen, and Jasmine decided to play along. “Ew…” She started curling in on herself. “Oh my god…Oh my god!!” She covered her face with a pillow, just barely letting her eye peek through. She screamed and gripped the back of her head, mimicking how Art was playing with his open wound. “Ren, stop, I can feel it! I-what is he doing with his blood?? Oh, he’s writing his own name, SICK!” At this point she was gagging, all fake of course. Ren was fixated on her, in complete awe of her talents. It looked real enough, but seeing the juxtaposition between her calm nature before and her act now was too funny not to laugh. She even grabbed the remote, but jumped and dropped it before she could turn the movie off. They both laughed together, almost bringing each other to tears. Jasmine curled up at his side again, even putting an arm around his torso. A big grin spread on Ren’s face, this is exactly what he wanted, and he was getting it much faster than usual. Most of his pets required some sort of breaking before getting this comfortable around him, but she was sinking right into it. It’s a shame he was going to ruin such a sweet, fluffy night.

“It’s so funny to me what people get off to, but hey, they pay me to do it, so I can’t really judge them too bad. Besides, we all have weird stuff we get off to.” Her last comment piqued his interest. “Oh please elaborate on that~” Again he put his arm around her and hugged her close. “What do you mean? You already know all that stuff.” “No darling, I just know what you’ve told me. I know you’re hiding some tasty secret from me.” He teased and looked down at her. Jasmine blushed and turned her face away from him. She didn’t want to admit it, but this had been a fantasy of hers for a while. She never thought it would come true, and maybe didn’t even want it to, but the idea of being kidnapped and held as a sex slave had always turned her on. Reading fanfics about slashers and watching dirty movies had been her only outlet for this, till now. Of course she wasn’t going to let Ren know this, she was too shy to even share it with her past partners. The last thing she wants is for him to know how badly turned on this could make her. Ren took note of how she was squeezing her thighs together, and he knew he needed to strike.

“How about I show you something I like?” He flipped Jasmine on her back, pinning her hands above her head, and slotting his knee between her thighs. “Do you think that would make you open up, Pet?” Jasmine struggled against his restraint, but couldn’t stifle a small gasp at hearing her new name. All she could do was shake her head and look up at him. Ren bit his lip and looked down at her, she looked so vulnerable, so shaken up, so delicious. “Come on darling, think of it as a bonding exercise! We’ll both learn so much from each other.” He bent down, taking a long deep breath before licking the side of her neck up and down. “N-no, please Ren, Ah!~” He gently bit down on her sweet spot, earning a soft moan in response. “Mmmm let’s go to the bedroom, shall we darling?” He didn’t want his dessert to be served on the couch, he wanted his first taste of her blood to be in the proper setting. “Please, please be gentle with me Ren.” Jasmine looked up at him with her big doe eyes, she may have had a different response if she knew what was about to become of her body.

She followed him to the bedroom, and got on the bed. Ren disappeared into the bathroom and returned with a few white towels. He got on top of her, straddling her lap, and placed a towel behind her neck and shoulders. “Hey, shouldn’t that be under my hips?” Jasmine asked, and Ren simply smirked while shaking his head. He placed another towel next to her, along with the remote to her shock collar, and…a knife. Jasmine was quick to notice it, and started thrashing to get away. Ren picked up the remote and loomed over her. “You’re going to want to stay still for this, I know you don’t love your collar. sweetie. Or…do you?” He straightened his back, what was he talking about? “Let’s play a game, Pet! You’re so smart, I’m sure you’ll catch onto the rules just fine.” “Ren I don’t want to play a game, I want to get off this bed!” Jasmine shouted back at him, not taking her eyes off his knife. “Aww but we haven’t even started yet! I’m sure you’ll love it. But first..” He gripped the hem of her shirt, “We need to get this off.” He slashed up her shirt, nicking her soft flesh underneath. Jasmine shrieked, begging him to stop. “Aw sorry about that, Pet, I hope you know I didn’t mean it.” Ren bent down and licked at her bleeding collarbone. She was completely exposed, bleeding, and on the verge of tears. “Let’s begin! All you have to do is answer a few questions. Do you think you could do that, sweetie?” He was grinning ear to ear, staring down at her now shaking frame. “I-I, yes, I can.” Her trembling voice was music to his ears.

“Good girl, we’ll start off easy. What is my name?” “R-Ren! It’s Ren!” “Good, good!” He ground into her, she could feel a bulge forming in his pants. “Again~” Jasmine was confused, did he want her to answer his questions or to scream his name? Either way, she wasn’t going to stop to question him, so she obliged. He ground into her harder, teasing her skin with his knife. “Very very good, this next one might be a little more tricky. What are you?” What the Hell did he mean, ‘What are you’? This was bound to be a trick question, but Jasmine didn’t have time to think. “I-I’m Jasmine! I’m a streamer, I’m a person, I’m-AH!!” Ren’s knife made a short slit from her collarbone halfway down her left breast. She started screaming and struggling to get away from her captor. “Careful darling, you don’t want a crooked scar, do you?” He dug his claws into her side and licked the blade of his knife. “You’re wrong, you’re my pet, remember? My property, all mine to do with what I please.” He bent down and licked at her new cut. “And I assure you Pet, I’m going to do exactly what I please with you.” He came back up, licking her blood from his lips. “Oh you taste divine darling,” he spread her blood across her chest, “I could taste you for hours~” Tears fell down Jasmine’s cheeks, she was stuck staring down at her new wound. She had gotten the answer right, didn’t she? Is this really all she is now? A pet, a toy, for some criminal? Her head buzzed with disbelief at the situation, but Ren was quick to bring her out of her trance. He gripped her cheeks with one hand, the other grazing her flesh with his knife. “Next question darling, and I’ll be hurt if you get this one wrong. What was the first toy I got you?” He put on fake puppy dog eyes and held the knife to his lips. “I-I know this one, it was that knotted vibrator from my favorite shop!” He rested the blade on her chest and smiled. “Hmm and can you see why I got you that one?” She looked down at his sweatpants and nodded her head. “Ah, but unfortunately for you, Pet, that was a trick question.” He sliced into her right collarbone, now frowning down at her. “I got you two toys sweetie, I’m hurt you don’t remember the other one.” He bent down again and licked at her new wound, all while Jasmine screamed about how he wasn’t being fair with her. He chuckled to himself, “Fine sweetie, I’ll give you a ‘fair’ question, one I know you already know. What are you?” He tapped the tip of his blade at the top of her chest after each word. That sick bastard, if he wants my submission, my humiliation, then fine! I’m so sick of this. “I…I’m yours Ren. I’m your property.” She closed her eyes tight as she said it, the word “property” tasting poisoned on her lips. Ren smiled as he ground himself into her again, “Hmmm again.” “I-I’m yours Ren! All yours, yours to play with, yours to fuck, yours to…eat.” She could feel her mind breaking, it was screaming at her to fight him off, to grab his knife, to run. She refrained, knowing it was no use with the collar still around her neck. That’s why she wasn’t fighting him, right?

“Good! You’re catching on quickly, sweetie. You’re so smart, I’m sure you’ve already figured out what my little secret is.” He looked down at her, expecting a response. “Yeah, you have some kind of sick kink for kidnapping people and making them bleed, huh?” “Oooo harsh, luckily for you I’m not testing you on politeness. You got that one right darling.” He gazed at her two open wounds, craving a third. Her blood was spilling over her shoulders and onto the towel behind her. “Last question darling, it should be easy for you. What are you hiding from me? I have a feeling I already know, so don’t you try to lie to me~” Jasmine looked up at him like a deer in headlights. She knew this question would come, but still hadn’t thought of a good enough lie yet. “I-um, I’m actually really into age play, yeah, it started with m-AH!” Ren sliced right below her throat down her sternum. His smile had fallen, his eyes keeping a cold stare with hers. “You were doing well, Pet, but you just had to lie to me. Why? Is it because you’re embarrassed of this-?” He slid his hand under her waistband and started kneading at her sensitive skin. She let out a soft gasp, blush and tears spreading over her face. “Hmmm I knew you’d be wet, but you’re absolutely soaking, darling. I bet you’re just aching for me~” He bent down again and licked at the much larger gash in the middle of her chest. Jasmine couldn’t help herself, and gripped at his hair, holding him close to her. She tried spreading her legs under him, and bucked at his touch. “I’m going to be very nice, if you can answer my answer honestly, I’ll give you what I know you want.” He pulled his hand away and licked at his fingers, savoring both of her tastes in his mouth. Jasmine squirmed, she desperately wanted more, and also wanted the slicing to stop. “Fine! I’ll be honest with you. This sort of…arrangement has been a sort of fantasy of mine for a while, but that doesn’t mean I want to die here though! Happy?” Ren could have drug more out of her, but decided he was satisfied, and he flung the knife across the room. “Very much so darling.” He lifted himself off her and positioned himself between her legs. “For telling me the truth you get a reward. Don’t forget this sweetie, I do enjoy rewarding good behavior.” He pulled her pants off of her, and placed the other towel underneath her hips. She was quick to lift her legs up and around Ren’s waist, as he slowly started fingering her. “A-ah~!” Jasmine sunk into the pillows, and Ren bent town and started licking at her now drying blood. He kept a steady pace, curling his fingers slightly, and being careful of his claws. He palmed her clit, and Jasmine was begging for more.

Once Ren was satisfied with the moaning mess beneath him, he slowly drew his hand out, earning a moan of disappointment from Jasmine. He tore town his sweatpants and boxers, his head springing up already leaking precum. He pushed Jasmine’s legs up, knees hitting her shoulders. He slowly slid his cock into her, knot threatening her entrance. Jasmine screamed and clawed at the sheets. “Oooh please push it in Ren~!” She whined out, and her eyes rolled in the back of her head. With a quick snap of his hips, he forced the rest of his knot in, and let out a breathy moan himself. He kept an even pace, eventually coming down to bite at her neck. Despite the three, still bleeding, cuts on her neck, Jasmine welcomed his teeth. Her mind started slipping as all the pleasure and pain swam together in her body. It all felt so conflicting, but still too good for her to do anything to stop it. She felt a heat rise in her stomach, and pressure built. She could tell Ren was close too with how heavily he was breathing and grunting. She sunk her nails into his back, her climax approaching, he gripped her sides and delivered his last few thrusts. He came deep inside her and felt her walls clenching around him. They lied there for a moment, in disbelief they had both cum at the same time. Ren let her legs go, and the two sat there holding each other, staring into each other’s eyes and trying to catch their breath. Ren’s knot grew, he meant to pull out and finish on her cuts, but couldn’t help but cum inside her hot core. Hm, maybe next time, he thought to himself, she seemed to like it, I’m sure she’d love to do this aga- His thoughts were cut short by a deep kiss, brought on completely out of Jasmine’s free will. She tightened her grip around his neck, and he sank into her. She was so warm, so soft, so sweet. He could have stayed like this for hours, but pulled away and made note of how much of a mess she was.

“Let’s get you cleaned up, darling.”

Next chapter will be all aftercare/sexual themes/fluff :)

#boyfriend to death #the price of flesh #ren hana #tpof ren hana #tpof announcer #tpof fox #tpof fanfic #Pleasure Pain and Power

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charthanry · 2 years

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BBS: Deconstructing the Entire Series (Part 4 of 13)

Welcome to my deep dive into each episode where I break down character motives, P’Aof’s delivery, and general musings of all things BBS. Basically, a scene-by-scene recap with commentary from me, your friendly neighborhood commentator. If you missed the previous installments of this post series, you’re welcome to check them out:

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Recapping the recap: We left EP3 with Pat manipulating his friends to help the architects rebuild the bus stop. After years of keeping it, Pat finally returns Pran’s guitar to him. Pat and Pran are now straddling that undefined space between not-enemies but not exactly friends either. Pran obviously wants more, and Pat is frustratingly oblivious to the entire thing.

Episode Four: The Rugby Match, an Old Friend, and Would You Like Me? (or AKA “Without you? It��s no fun.”)

In the game of gay chicken, it’s a showdown of who will blink first.

We open with the two opposing squad leaders facing off suspiciously close to one another. Must you lean thisclose to hear each other? Is it my imagination or is Pat eyeing Pran’s lips here? Pran has a look that clearly says my eyes are up here, asshole. The unresolved sexual tension is so charged that I can feel the static in my hair from all the friction. Apparently, Einstein-hair is one of the side effects of shipping these boys. Another is a high tolerance for muscle tees with nonsensical slogans on them. Even the opposing friends are averting their gazes from all the sexual tension these two are emitting. I guess unlike us, they all value their perfectly coiffed hair.

After much ado about divvying up the bus stop workload, Wai annoyingly comments that if anybody can't carry their weight it’s the engineers which offends Korn and a kerfuffle nearly breaks out. Waisel- just shut your yapper, nobody even asked you and Korn- quit giving him the satisfaction of reacting. Good grief! These boys have turned me into a hall monitor. Ever the mediator, Pran stops their antics by deciding one group will take the even days and the other will take the odd.

At the bus stop site, Wai once again feels the need to whine about the untrustworthy engineers. In a surprisingly sweet move, Pran gallantly defends Pat and assures his friends that Pat is a man of dignity. Aww Pran, that’s right, defend your almost-man. And isn’t it rich of Wai to call out Pat? Somebody get this weasel a mirror. I’ve had enough of his nostril flaring. Was he a bull in a previous life?

I'm adding pouty Pran to the list of best Prans, because look at this face y’all.

After Pran's emphatic defense of Pat's character, we cut to a hilarious scene of Pat apologizing to Pran for his friends not showing up for bus duty. Opting instead to attend a last-minute music concert. Pran rolls his eyes and asks why Pat didn’t keep them in line and Pat’s response is I was too busy dancing at said concert. Pran’s face in response is its own meme. One that rhetorically asks murdering your literal neighbor is still considered a crime, right? Even if he’s asking for it?

Pat comments that if everyone were as eager to work as they are to fight, the bus stop would already be built by now which sparks a lightbulb in Pran’s head. Together he and Pat scheme to have their friends compete in a one-upmanship with taunting notes left at the site for each other. I really must applaud Pran here, the idea is genius. And credit to Pat for giving Pran the nudge to come up with it. They're truly the best partners-in-manipulation. Foreshadowing to future events? Why, yes, the show thanks you for noticing.

The bus stop crew meet at the site for an interview with the school paper. Pat’s gang shows up overdressed in matching slacks and ties. They look like waiters ready to pass the hors d'oeuvres at some catered event. Pran looks on mockingly, but we see you ogling Pat, bro, don’t deny it. He can’t resist commenting that Pat’s shoes are particularly shiny and Pat volleys back that Pran sure is one to talk as he reeks of cologne himself. Sir, I think that’s just his natural pheromones triggering you. I love that they’re openly flirting in public now and with their friends within earshot, too. These two are blatantly ignoring any warning sirens of danger, Will Robinson, and we’re here for the delicious play-by-play.

We're treated to a slow-mo entrance of a pretty girl running up to the group. Cue the flashback informing us that this is their former high school classmate, Ink. She’s there to photograph the bus stop for the school paper. Pran gives Pat a panicked look, which Pat immediately picks up on and scuttles Ink away from everyone. Pran’s face is a myriad of feelings, there's his obvious concern about being busted for hiding their past but also something else, something deeper. We are picking up heavily on that something else.

Look at Pat’s body language here. This doesn’t strike me as someone who is joyfully reunited with his high school crush?

Off to the side, Pat explains to Ink that he and Pran’s faculties have deep rivalries, and nobody knows of their shared history. He asks if she can keep this information to herself. Ink is willing to play along but not before extracting a price for her silence. Poor Pat is weary of what this entails and honestly so are we.

It’s nighttime and the engineers are practicing for an upcoming rugby match against the architects. Korn teases Pat about Ink and asks if he knows her. Pat plays it off that he was just seizing his chance to talk to her alone. Korn then makes an offhand comment that has the entire fandom hyperventilating: I thought you said you liked someone in architecture. Um, excuse me??? Come again? I need to replay this. Assuming this isn’t lost in translation, it’s curious that Pat neither denies nor corrects Korn here, he merely says, you call yourself an engineering student? Why are you now defending the architects? Ugh. Pat is being frustratingly evasive. Answer the guy’s question!

Their chitchat draws the ire of the coach and they’re punished with running drills. Seriously? That’s it?? You’re going to drop that bomb on us and then just run away? Damn you, show. Insert gif of Arthur’s clenched fist.

We cut to Pran outside using his phone’s flashlight while searching for his dropped earbud. He walks around adorably muttering to himself when he bumps into Pat fresh from rugby practice. Pran tells Pat to get lost, but Pat insists on helping him look. Even with something this simple, the two still find ways to bicker with each other. Pat doesn’t watch where he’s going and unintentionally steps on the very thing they’re looking for, because of course he does.

Holding the busted earbud, Pat is genuinely apologetic but Pran doesn’t hold back his irritation. He reiterates his mantra that every time they’re together, nothing good happens.

Pran is back in his dorm when there’s an insistent knock at his door. It’s Pat coming to lend Pran his own earbuds. Pran initially refuses but Pat is clever and pokes at his competitiveness by saying he’ll need it for the music contest and to not use the lack of earbuds as an excuse to lose against Pat and the engineers. Pran finally relents, but we know that Pat only used the contest to get Pran to take the earbuds and I suspect that Pran knows this as well.

Pran is so distracted by Pat’s thoughtfulness that he lets his guard down which Pat takes as an opening to barge into Pran’s room. The two go back and forth about Pat’s sweat stinking up Pran’s place. And it’s like watching the most fascinating game of table tennis, ever. The way these two banter is like a competitive sport. Pat takes it a notch further by stuffing Pran's head inside his sweaty shirt, which eww. But how much do I love that they've now graduated from verbal foreplay into physical just like that. That it’s become comfortable for them to have their hands on each other. Pat has bulldozed his way into Pran's physical and personal spaces and our Pran’s defenses are visibly weakening.

To quote one Rory Gilmore, look at this butt-faced miscreant.

Pran has had enough and kicks him out. Also, can your voice get any higher pitched, my guy? I think that’s the most excitable I’ve ever seen you. How warm was it inside Pat's shirt? Are you feeling lightheaded? Do we need to do a temp check? He closes the door in Pat’s face but of course can’t resist another peek at the peephole. Pat stands outside his door and obnoxiously chants you knowww you want to let me in. Pran just shakes his head but not before his face blooms in a glorious smile of defeat. How does he make defeat look so sweet? He sits back on his couch and stares affectionately at the borrowed earbuds.

The next day, Pran heads to the campus coffee shop after class and happens on Pat and Ink. It triggers a flashback where high school Pran is waiting for his milk tea order when a passing Pat pauses on his way to music club and tells Pran he’ll see him there. Pran nods in response and immediately turns around and orders a second drink for Pat. Our hearts ache for the obvious hope we can see churning in his chest. Oh, sweet Pran. Can you imagine his trek to that music room? How his steps are a little more hurried? How he carefully holds both drinks in his nervous, sweaty palms? Only to walk in on Pat and Ink goofing off and Pran’s face morphs into something akin to being run over by an oncoming freight train.

We’re back in the present, where history is repeating itself with Pran looking on as Pat teases Ink. The look on Pran’s face as he watches them is heartbreaking; it’s that damn freight train coming for him again. Just as his heart and bones are finally healing from the last collision three years prior. The show is telling us this is nothing new for Pran. He’s been here before, a spectating third wheel to his own life. And it hurts us something fierce because we can all relate. Unrequited love is a heavy burden, made worse when you’ve accepted it but it keeps jabbing you over and over with the reminder of what you can’t have. And it never stops hurting. It’s like picking at a barely healed scab again and again only to bleed anew, each time leaving a deeper scar than the previous.

We learn Ink’s price for her silence is Pat agreeing to model for her photoshoot. We also learn that he again skips bus stop duty to show up for Ink. Pran doesn’t know this and thinks Pat is skirting his responsibility to play with Ink. Once again proving to Pran that Pat chooses fun and games AND Ink over his promise to him. Only we know that Pat is doing this for you, Pran. He’s paying off her silence because you’ve made it clear you don’t want anyone knowing your shared history. It’s a version of noble idiocy that you can’t fault anyone for, the kind that hurts all parties involved.

We cut to Pran at his own rugby practice where he’s so distracted by his irritation with Pat that he tackles his opponent hard and hurts his shoulder. Pran is at Wai’s bar after practice when who should walk in for a post-photo session meal but Pat and Ink. Really? Do you guys have no other place to eat at? Did the curry spot, noodle truck, and all the other restaurants in the area suddenly get snapped by Thanos? Our Pran really can’t catch a break, can he?

How Nanon manages to make heartache look stunningly gorgeous is beyond me. There’ll be no reenactment of Dawson crying by the creek for this guy.

He tries in vain to make a quiet escape, but Ink catches him. The face Pran makes when Ink tells him to join them is gut-wrenching. Pat pulls out a seat for him, but Pran bypasses it to sit next to Ink instead. The layers of this scene could rival that of the earth’s atmosphere. Pat looks at the chair he pulled out for Pran and presumptive understanding dawns on his face. Pran is pissed at him. Yes, but not for the reason you’re thinking, Pat!

Ink tries to engage the trio in small talk, bless her heart. We’re not sure if she’s oblivious to the tension or picks up on it and decides not to intervene, but Pat is curiously looking at Pran and Pran is valiantly looking back at him. Say what you will of Pran’s tendency to run away, but I applaud him here for meeting Pat's questioning gaze straight on.

An unspoken conversation passes between them where both are using different interpreters. It’s reminiscent of that kids’ telephone game where you whisper a message in one person’s ear to another and once you’ve reached the last person, the message is so distorted that it barely resembles the original. That is what’s happening here. Pat is saying, I see you. You’re upset. Let me fix this. And Pran is saying, Do you? There’s nothing to fix. Because you and I are nothing to each other. And it’s Pran’s breaking heart doing the talking for him, only Pat thinks that it’s for another reason entirely and misinterprets everything.

It’s the smiling through the pain that breaks me. I’m breathless at how good he is at this, and it hurts me that he’s had years of practice.

This is an emotional trainwreck, one that is excruciatingly painful to watch, but also impossible to look away from. Ink asks if they’ll be facing off against each other in the upcoming rugby match; our boys’ eyes connect, and the small half smiles they give for Ink’s benefit is gutting. Ink wonders out loud which of the two of them she should root for, unintentionally pitting them against each other in a way that is wholly separate from anything that has to do with the rugby field.

Pat pushes the menu towards Pran and softly asks him what he wants to eat. He cares, Pran, he really does, we know you’re hurting but look beyond your broken heart right now and recognize that he cares about you. Please be brave one more time. But Ink chooses this exact moment to notice Pat’s P-bracelet because life is just that cruel to one Pran Parakul. Is that the sound of a train’s whistle racing forward in the distance?

As Ink marvels over Pat having kept the bracelet all this time, Pran is checked out and has a faraway look on his face. We’re shown a flashback of Pran watching Ink gift Pat the bracelet back in high school. This memory seems to be the final straw for Pran. It’s been a long day full of conflicting thoughts of Pat only to end with a tension-filled evening he didn’t ask for. Add to that, his stinging shoulder and Pran is just DONE with everything and everyone. He makes a flimsy excuse of only now realizing he has something to do and makes a hasty exit. Pat intuitively watches as Pran leaves.

Later in his dorm, Pran answers the door to a concerned Pat who is delivering the dinner he didn’t get to eat. Pran declines the peace offering and moves to shut his door, but winces as he inadvertently pulls his injured shoulder. Pat notices and nags him to treat it with medicine.

Cut to the two of them sitting on Pran’s couch with Pat adamant about treating Pran’s injury and the concern he’s showing here is a much softer version of Pat, one we haven't seen before. Pran gives in to Pat’s insistence and rolls up his sleeve, we see that the injury is a lot worse than we imagined. Pat applies the meds to Pran’s shoulder and the look Pran gives him says everything. He doesn’t bother holding back the clear adoration he has for him. It’s all laid as bare as the shoulder Pat is taking care of. Pat, open your eyes and SEE PRAN. He’s right there.

How blind can Pat be? Pran is absolutely gone for him and isn’t even hiding it here. It was a taxing day and this is a moment of weakness for our Pran – where his usual facade slips.

Pat tells Pran to be more careful, that they have a game in a couple days. Pran says they’ll have an advantage then; it’ll be easier for the engineers to win. Pat responds with zero hesitation that without Pran, where’s the fun? What’s the point of even playing if Pran can’t play? And GOD, this is so telling, isn’t it? Pat, make the connection faster my guy. You’re right on the verge of figuring it out. There’s a moment where Pat finishes treating Pran’s shoulder where their eyes meet over the small space between them, and the entire fandom collectively holds our breath as we implore both to just see each other.

Pat extends their time together by asking if Pran has any makeup remover. He wants to clean off the makeup from the photoshoot. Pran comments oh the one you did with Ink? Pat is surprised that Pran already knows. Pran says Pat posted it to IG, didn’t he want the entire world to know? Yet more foreshadowing to later in the series when Pat posts about their relationship on IG. This show is dropping crumbs everywhere and we’re here gobbling it up.

Pran hands Pat the miscellar cleanser but he’s clueless on how to use it, so Pran takes over and helps him. There is something incredibly soft and gentle about Pran cleaning Pat’s face for him. It's what you do for someone you love. Pat can’t help but tease Pran with cute dimples you’ve got there. If had your dimples, would I be as cute as you? A stunned Pran is speechless that Pat paid him a compliment so openly and easily, but credit to him for not dismissing Pat’s teasing as we’d expect him to, but instead volleys back what, these dimples? and flashes them cheekily. He then tells Pat that he’s sorry to break the news, but only he can have these super-cute dimples. He then shoos Pat away and only once the door is firmly between them does Pran reveal his totally blissed-out smile. He repeats his ritual of looking through the peephole for any last visage of Pat, smiling the entire time. Forget the meds, a dose of Pat is all he really needs.

You can physically feel the sigh through this screenshot. Nanon is just that good.

If it would please the court, we’d like to conclude our closing argument that these two are in love, your honor. They are no longer hiding their flirtation behind insults; they are outright flirting now. One claims he’s hot and the other did not refute his claim and now there’s face cleansing and dimple poking involved. Your honor, we would like to rest our case that these two are out here proving our argument for us.

It’s the day of the rugby match and Pran is alone on the bleachers when Pat joins him. He asks if Pran is fit to play and reaches out to ruffle his hair, only for Pran to wave him off. Satisfied that his shoulder appears better, Pat asks, what, you’re afraid people are going to think I’m flirting with you? Way to go straight for the jugular, Pat. And he proceeds to tease and poke at Pran some more, but it’s all halted by Ink and Jam showing up. Now that there’s an audience, Pran dismisses Pat back to his side of the field.

The match is underway with the engineers in red and the architects in green. Pat and Pran are the stars of their respective teams. They both try to outdo each other on the field to the surprise of absolutely no one. There’s a beat where Pran scores, runs back, and flick-salutes Pat with a devilish smirk and oh GOD, it’s so boss and HOT. Pran, we been knowing there’s a sexy beast hidden beneath those dimples, you should unleash him more often. Hit Pat when he least expects it and promise you’ll let us watch.

I’m completely convinced that P’Aof chose rugby for this script to feed us all the waist grabbing and manhandling, and oh man are we feasting. There’s another bit where Pat has the ball and Pran comes after him, hugging him from behind. Pat hands the ball off to Korn who proceeds to score, but Pran, too busy watching the action, hasn’t yet let go of Pat. And Pat, that bastard, teases him with hug me this tight and you might as well take me as your boyfriend and has the gall to WINK at him. Boy, please.

Pran takes a hard tackle and gets up rubbing his shoulder, it doesn’t escape Pat’s notice and he pulls Korn aside with a new game plan. Pat will cover Pran. Aww, Pat. We see you. Only it doesn’t go as planned. Pran has the ball, but Pat hesitates to tackle him and out of nowhere Korn comes in for the kill and Pran goes down painfully. Wai shows up, because of course he does, and menacingly stands in between Pat who is trying to check if Pran is okay. Waisel, calm your ass down. Pran is helped off the field and Pat approaches Korn demanding why he didn’t follow the plan, he said he had Pran covered. Korn is all like hell you did, I saw you hesitate, what the hell is going on with you, Pat?! Indeed, Korn surprisingly you’re asking the right questions.

Match over and without Pran, the architects are defeated by the engineers. Ink approaches Pran and consoles him that his team would have won if he were able to stay in the game. She then gifts him with his own P-bracelet, revealing that she wanted to give it to him back in 10th grade, but he transferred before she got the chance. Aww, Ink, you made them couple bracelets. You’re totally one of us! She helps him put it on and we see Pran working up the courage to ask her something. He finally does and this will forever be the bravest moment on the show for me.

Ink is surprised and peers at Pran, maybe she sees what we all know but does Pran a solid and doesn't let on. She tells him she only sees Pat as a friend, just like how she sees him. And we can all feel Pran's visible relief at her response. Oh, Pran. Your bravery moves me because I understand what this took from you. How you've watched Pat and Ink from the sidelines all these years. Never knowing if there was more going on, but always too afraid to find out. We’ve all been here in Pran’s shoes. Having accepted that our love is unrequited, but never quite willing to seal our own fate by confirming that the object of our desire is coveted by someone else. Someone we deem more worthy of receiving our love’s affection. Someone not us. It’s a disheartening state to find yourself in, this limbo of never being able to move on yet afraid of putting the nail in your own coffin by finding out.

Pran and Ink continue to sit on the bleachers chatting away, both failing to notice that Pat is at the other end watching their interaction with an unreadable expression on his face. We aren’t sure how much he’s overheard, but we’re certain that even if he caught the entire exchange, he’d somehow draw the wrong conclusion from it.

Later that night there is another knock on Pran’s door. We only need one guess as to who’s on the other side. Seriously, how many times has Pat sought out Pran in this episode alone? The boy simply can’t stay away. Make the connection already, dude. Isn’t it telling that you somehow always manage to end up in front of Pran’s door? Ask yourself what that’s all about.

Pran opens his door to reveal that Pat got him some meds for his shoulder. Pran turns him down saying he has his own, but Pat is insistent. He tells Pran that if he wants to return the favor, to let him crash in his dorm tonight. He forgot his key and Pa isn’t answering her phone. Pran, thinking that this is yet another Pat move, and honestly who can blame him? tells Pat to keep trying for Pa and shuts the door.

Later, Pran looks in his peephole to check if Pat is really locked out of his dorm and finds a desolate Pat sitting in their hallway. It takes him less than 30 seconds to decide that he can’t leave Pat out there and opens his door to him. This is huge. Earlier in the episode Pran was very against Pat being in his space, going so far as to kick him out just for sitting on his couch. But here he is granting him entry and a place to rest his head for the night. How far he’s come. He opens the door with slight trepidation because he knows himself. He recognizes that he probably won’t get a wink of sleep tonight knowing Pat is breathing the same air, existing in the same space as him.

Pran is setting up a sleep mat for Pat on the floor next to his bed when Pat enters from the bathroom – shirtless. And there are abs galore, my friends, so much abs. Ahem, what are you doing, sir? Have you no mercy for Pran (or us?) Pran stares without making it seem that he’s staring, we gotchu buddy. Pat asks if he can just sleep shirtless and Pran quickly says no, absolutely not and tosses him a t-shirt from his hamper. He says he hasn’t washed it yet. Pat does a sniff test and declares it still smells great. Because of course it does, it smells like Pran – the scent of heaven to Pat’s nose. Pran’s face in response is hilarious as if he’s thinking what the hell is wrong with you? And what the hell is wrong with me (for liking you)? Pat promises to wash it before returning it and Pran says don’t bother that he’s gonna toss it out implying that he no longer wants it now that it’s been worn by Pat and Pat is all, awesome, new shirt for me then.

I think Pat has found his doppelganger in Pran’s emoji lamp.

Pran is trying very hard to school his face but seeing Pat wearing his clothes has to be doing something to his insides. The shirt he’s worn on his skin is now touching Pat’s skin. I suspect the whole declaration of throwing the shirt out was just for show, this shirt is something Pran is going to cherish for the rest of time. Just like the watch. The earbuds. The guitar. And anything else related to Pat.

Pat says he can’t sleep without his comfort object, Nong Nao, and looks pleadingly at Pran. I half expected him to ask if he can join Pran in bed and use him as a Nong Nao replacement, which yes, please! But Pran is all, don’t even think about it. And in your dreams. (In ALL of our dreams, really). He instead concedes to sharing some of his blanket/comforter with him.

Sometime later, both boys are wide awake staring at nothing in particular. The awkwardness is deafening. Pat is the first to break the silence and asks if Ink gave Pran a bracelet earlier and Pran pauses before responding that yes, she did, the same one she gave to Pat. After several beats, it’s Pran’s turn to break the silence with can I ask you something? Pat responds that he also has a question that he wants to ask Pran. They both seem to already know what the other is wanting to ask. Pran insists on Pat going first. After some hemming and hawing, Pat blurts out do you like Ink? There’s some back and forth of you answer first, no I asked you first, so you answer, they then decide to both answer at the same time on the count of three.

We know Pran’s answer is a resounding no, but we’re not expecting for Pat’s answer to be yes and neither is Pran judging by his reaction. It’s like the air is completely sucked out of his lungs upon hearing Pat’s yes. He’s drowning and can’t even outwardly react because Pat is RIGHT THERE. Pat sighs in relief and actually says the words what a relief! He thought they were rivals for the same girl. Oh Pat, you stupid, clueless idiot.

Where Pran draws the strength to ask if Pat has confessed to Ink yet, I’ll never know. His eyes are flooding with unshed tears, and I just want to smack Pat here, and not affectionately either. Pat responds that he hasn’t yet and asks Pran if he thinks Ink would like him. Pran gives a deprecating chuckle and says how would he know? Pat gets up and leans over the side of the bed and asks If you were her, would you like me? Pran answers with all the life preservation he has left in him, someone like you? What’s there to like? As if he doesn’t already have a long running list of all the reasons why he’s already gone for Pat.

Pat says there are many things and proceeds to list them out. He was a drummer in Pran’s band, he prevented Pran from getting beaten up by Korn and the gang, he helped him get that sponsorship for the bus stop, he kept his guitar for him. And here P’Aof attempts to put us all in our deathbeds by complementing Pat’s narration with Pran’s own montage of all the things Pran already knows and loves about Pat. The Christmas concert where Pran sings but only has eyes for his drummer, the world’s one and only handsome guitar pick, Pat saving the day with the 100% eco-pitch, the bus stop role playing, and finally the return of his guitar. The list goes on and Pran’s chin wobbles as he holds back the dam that’s threatening to burst. How he holds all his emotions in check, I have no idea but this moment right here cements what we already know – that Pran Parakul is the strongest person on this show bar none. To endure this much and for this long. There is no one, absolutely no one, who can hold a candle to him.

Let’s face it, Pran knew there was little chance of Pat reciprocating his feelings, but Pat’s actions leading up to all this said otherwise. The dimple poking? The I think you’re cute? The if you’re not playing, then where’s the fun? The constant checking and rechecking of Pran’s shoulder injury? The incessantly showing up at Pran’s door. What are you even doing, Pat? And now you’re asking if Pran were Ink, if he’d like you? I don’t blame Pran’s response here at all. As hurtful as it is, and as much as we know that it’s a lie, it’s Pran’s only life raft at this point and he’s choosing to SURVIVE behind his I... hate you. After telling this emphatic lie, he rolls over and away from Pat.

A stunned and hurt Pat pulls away and talks out loud, almost to himself, that he has many good qualities. That even he likes himself. Well, good for you sir. We’re happy for you, but can you please shut up now? He further digs Pran’s grave by saying good luck finding someone half as good as me. Oh, you ass, this is emotional torture. We implore you to stop talking. Finally done saying his piece, he lies back down.

Noting the silence, Pran rolls back over and looks at Pat. Then P’Aof murders us by showing a close up of Pran as he looks Pat’s way. He has tears in the corners of his eyes. And there it is. Our sweet Pran has given into his pain and quietly shed his emotions no longer able to hold them at bay. He watches as Pat sleeps and the look on Pran’s face is so openly fond and endearing belying the hurtful words he said to Pat just moments earlier. I want to reach into the screen and just wrap him in a protective cocoon and tell him he’s done good. That he can rest now, that Pat is an idiot and will figure it out soon.

Pran continues to watch Pat to his heart’s content. All those times he wanted to stare but had to pretend that he wasn’t. All the mockery and insults that he had to hide behind is quieted as he just stares and takes in his fill. He can’t help the small smile that peeks through. Everything about this moment is Pran being honest with himself when no one is there to call him on it. He doesn’t bother to hide his longing for Pat but instead gives into it, just for this small breadth of time and it feels so private and personal that we can’t help but feel like we’re intruding.

He finally looks away and shakes his head, wipes at his tears, and then yanks all the bed covers off of Pat. That’s right, the boy doesn’t deserve any of that warmth. Not tonight. Our Pran turns over to his side and we're left wondering how tear-soaked his pillow will be come morning. Life doles its cruelty out indiscriminately and unfairly, but damn it feels like Pran has suffered more than his share.

Chemistry based off of eye contact alone? These two have it in abundance.

And with that heaviness, we conclude our fourth hour with our boys. Let’s get some of the lighter points out of the way first. I think P’Aof landed at just the right amount of screen time for the friends. I didn’t find them as grating in this episode as in the previous ones maybe because their screen time was limited and therefore more tolerable. The focus of the story has shifted to Pat and Pran’s relationship, as it should. The show is telling us to buckle in, we’re no longer in the build-up phase, we’re about to enter the main story and based on this episode’s ending, I’m not sure that our hearts are prepared for what’s coming.

I like how Ink was introduced and everyone’s first inclination was to be up in arms at her sudden appearance. We’re so used to a third-party foil that we were all ready to sharpen our knives and pitchforks in defense of Pran. I absolutely love that P’Aof and his team quickly put our fears to ease by subverting all our usual expectations. Ink wasn’t introduced to be a villainous foil but more the catalyst to push our boys out of their comfort zone, especially Pran. If Ink hadn’t shown up, we can safely assume that Pran would continue loving Pat from a distance and never really doing anything about it. She also serves as the catalyst for Pat as well, but in the next episode. Ink is out here flexing her ability to push people to confront themselves simply by existing. We stan this girl.

I love their friendship. There’s a genuine mutual fondness here. No wonder Pat was worried he was losing Pran to Ink.

And how great is Ink? She has to know or at least suspect Pran’s feelings for Pat, but she respectfully keeps it to herself. How much do I love that she treats Pran’s question with dignity, but also keeps it light with her teasing. She focuses on teasing Pran and less on the real reason why Pran is asking. She has to know the amount of courage it took for Pran to ask, and rather than laugh him off, she studies him and assures him that there’s nothing more than friendship on her end. And the couple bracelets? Have I mentioned how much we stan this girl?

The parents didn’t play a role at all this episode, and I didn’t miss their presence one bit. There’ll be plenty of time for all that later. P’Aof is showing us Pat and Pran on their turf – at university surrounded by all their friends. He’s detailing the gradual changes to Pat and Pran’s relationship and how they handle these external factors before he pulls in the parental drama. In a way, he’s giving us a reprieve though never letting us forget that there’s a much larger obstacle waiting on the horizon. He’s working at establishing Pat and Pran as a united front in preparation for when the parents enter the picture. I, for one, am going to enjoy all of this parent-free drama for as long as we can.

Their eyes are always looking for each other even in a crowd of people.

I love that we’re shown how the boys are different when alone with each other. Without an audience to dictate their behavior, there’s less of a wall for Pat to scale to get to Pran. This is an especially noted change for Pran who is clearly concerned with people finding out that they’re more than mere faculty rivals. How far has Pran come from not even allowing Pat to sit on his couch at the beginning of this episode, to giving him a safe haven and a place to rest his head at the end? We can see that Pran’s defenses are on shaky ground as tornado Pat picks up speed and sweeps him away. Resistance is futile, kind sir. We all eventually succumb to the whirlwind that is Pat. It’s only a matter of time.

The flashbacks revealed so much this episode. We were fed a lot of background on their high school days. But keep in mind that we’re seeing all this through Pran’s perspective and he’s remembering it through the lens of loving Pat from afar. How reliable is Pran as a narrator? Is it possible that he read more into Pat and Ink’s interactions than both Pat or Ink felt themselves? I think Pran uses what he sees and remembers as an excuse to keep Pat at arm’s length. There’s less chance of getting his hopes up this way by creating that emotional barrier between himself and Pat. He’s convinced Pat can never feel for him the way he wants so having Ink there as a stand-in-between is convenient, if foolhardy. So, when Pran asks Ink if she likes Pat and learns that her answer is no that tempered hope dangerously re-ignites for Pran. And it was probably everything he was trying to avoid, but still had to know.

I want to touch on Pat showing up at Pran’s door consistently bearing gifts. In this episode alone it began with the earbuds, then the chicken dinner delivery, and then the meds for his shoulder. Even before this, he hangs onto Pran’s guitar for years waiting for an opportunity to return it to him. And it doesn’t even have to be at Pran’s door, Pat insists on helping him look for the dropped earbud, he’s adamant about treating his injured shoulder, he pushes the bar menu at Pran and asks him what he wants to eat, he tells Korn that he’ll cover Pran in the rugby match, he delivers food after Pran leaves because he doesn’t want him to go hungry. This is a recurring theme of Pat looking out for Pran in big and small ways. He likes feeling needed and useful to those he cares about; he’s a caretaker by nature and a fixer by environment, but also, this gives him a reason and excuse to see and spend time with Pran which is really at the heart of Pat’s desire though he doesn’t recognize it yet.

If all these acts of service and making himself a ‘necessity’ to Pran isn’t a metaphor for Pat offering himself, and his heart, to him then I don’t know what we’re even doing here. Notice that Pran consistently declines whatever it is Pat is offering – his gifts, his help, and his time – why? Pran doesn’t want to owe Pat. We’ve seen that he had to psych himself up just to say a simple thank you. Pran grew up learning to be independent by way of self-efficiency, this is in part due to how he was raised but also if you don’t rely on anyone else, then no one can let you down, right?

Pran, an only child, grew up friend-starved, he never needed to depend on anyone but himself. We see this in his friendship with Wai where Wai is the one who constantly takes and Pran is the one who gives. One might say that Pran doesn’t know any other way of being so doesn’t recognize that what he has with Wai is emotionally abusive at worst and a lopsided friendship at best. We also see it in the way Pran automatically assumes the role of leader in his friend group, taking on the bus stop rebuild when he had no obligation to do so. He doesn’t know how to be the one who leans on someone else.

So, here comes Pat who not only wants nothing in return, other than to prolong their time spent together, but also voluntarily sets himself as a stalwart companion for Pran, someone he can look to and depend on. Our Pran doesn’t know what to do with this change to his routine and way of life. He’s perfectly fine with Pat owing him (recall the debt extracted for saving Pa), but doesn’t know what to do with himself when the roles are reversed.

Now let’s look at this from Pat’s side. Does he feel that he needs to make himself worthy of Pran’s friendship? Even when helping him with the bus stop, there’s a sense that Pat feels he has to prove himself useful to Pran so that Pran would find reason to keep him around. I blame Ming who shows his love and affection only when Pat brings him good tidings, that he scored well on an exam, made president of his faculty, is a star athlete, top of the food chain. He doesn’t show Pat that he loves his son just because he’s his son, no strings attached or accolades necessary. This measurement of perceived value by delivering good marks and deeds has got to be deeply ingrained in Pat after all these years. It’s something he and Pran would need to work at fixing – that Pat doesn’t need to bring gifts or show excellence to be loved. Pat needs to recognize that Pran loves him just as he is, chaotic goof and all and not because he does things for him. That Pran’s love is not a tradeoff and can’t be bought. It’s freely given because of who Pat is, not because of what Pat can offer.

In that same vein, it’s curious that Pat lists all the reason why Pran (as Ink) should like him but fails to realize that none of the things on his list were even done for Ink? In fact, most of them happened when Ink wasn’t even around. What’s that about, Pat? Are you being willfully blind to your feelings for Pran? Or are you unconsciously testing the waters by asking Pran if what you’ve done is enough, can be enough for him to love you?

We assure you, Pat, it’s more than enough. He loves you despite all your flaws. He’s witnessed them all and still loves you anyway. You only need to open your eyes and see it.

):):):):):):):):)

Thank you as always for reading and reliving EP4 with me. Next up, Pat experiences an awakening as we shift from Pran’s point of view to that of our favorite engineer. I hope you’ll stick around for it. I’ll try not to go so long in between updates this time. For those who may have been worried that I would abandon this post series, fear not, I fully intend to see this through completion. I’m afraid you're stuck with me and my ramblings for the long haul.

#bad buddy #bad buddy series #pat x pran #bbs #pran x pat #patpran #deconstructing ep4 #I want you to know that I cried while writing this #my heart took a beating wirting out the last 5 minutes of this episode #It was so emotionally taxing that I had to take breaks #I hurt so much for Pran but also for Pat #this episode was soo good #it's the one where I make all new BBS viewers promise to at least get through the ending of before deciding if the show is worth watching #because if this last scene doesn't move you then I'm not sure what will #recapping ep4 #did I say I was a glutton for pain? how very very very stupid of me #this was pain wrapped in more pain forget the pain sandwich this was a whole 7-layered pain burrito #this was the episode that had me jumping on tumblr and creating this blog to find my peeps to discuss this incredible show with #and here I am months later still discussing it #I'm sorry it took me 6 long weeks to get this to you but it's here now and I sincerely hope that you're still reading because I need to know #that there are still people out there who appreciate what nanon went through in this episode #nanon korapat #you sir are a gift to the world #it's 4am my time as I write these tags so I'm not sure if I'm even making any sense please excuse my bleary tear-dried eyes and broken heart #ramblers like to ramble #this was 7500 words #I've learned to stop apologizing for reading length but YIKES #my stuff

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farfromharry · 2 years

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In my dreams | Peter Parker fic

Summary: Death happens at the most unexpected times, and we’re never ready for it. But Peter wasn’t ready to leave you in heart until he knew you’d moved on and you were ready to give your heart to someone that wasn’t him.

Word count - 14,169

Warnings - massive angst, basically all angst, very light fluff, language, mentions of blood and injury, major character death, mentions of panic attacks, overall this is incredibly angsty so

A/n - this is the tiktok that inspired this whole thing, and the original comment was: ‘as i began to disappear for good so he could love her in peace, i watched him as he stared at our picture and whispered thank you’

━━━━━━━━━♡♥♡━━━━━━━━━

Death was a strange thing, but one that you had thankfully not had to experience too much of in your life. You considered yourself incredibly grateful for that, because you’d seen the way it hurt Peter; to keep losing the people close to him, you couldn’t imagine the pain his poor heart was always in. He was strong, he still smiled and made his friends laugh like none of it ever bothered him, but some nights when he was alone with you it was clear to see how exhausted he was, he was just so sad and tired of losing people.

Maybe that was why he slipped up, maybe his own exhaustion of being that boy everyone always felt bad for was the reason he fell right into Mysterio’s stupid trap, or maybe it was the fact he wasn’t prepared to lose another person he loved.

The holograms were incredibly realistic he had to admit, but usually with his spidey sense he was able to detect something was wrong. Not that time though, and even if he had he wasn’t sure it would’ve been reliable enough, all he saw was the bearded man with his hand wrapped tightly around your neck, dangling you over the edge of the multi-storey building you lived in, and Peter just saw red. All logic went out the window and he was blinded by the thought of losing you.

He was so dumb for really believing he had you there, and if you ever found out the reason he slipped right off the ledge of your apartment building was because he’d been led up there to think he was saving you from the menacing villain’s grasp, without his suit, then you surely would never forgive yourself.

You remember the day it happened like it was yesterday, it was one of your most vivid memories of him, seeing him laid there on the ground almost entirely motionless, spoiling so many amazing memories of you and Peter that you’d previously had stored in your head. When you thought of him now it would always turn sour and you’d picture him with that draining look in his eyes that haunted you. You’d never forget it.

»»——⍟——««

The day had started off good, the two of you having headed out on a little date to spend some time together. He’d picked you up from your apartment with the intention of taking you to lunch at some fancy place he’d found when on patrol a couple days prior. But upon discovering his plan, you insisted that you weren’t allowing him to spend so much money when you could have equally as much fun grabbing something from Delmars.

He did feel a sense of relief when you said those simple words, because it meant he could help May with the rent again this month, not that he wouldn’t have tried still even if he did take you on the fancy date. But this only served to remind him why you really were the girl of his dreams. You understood his money problems and you never made him feel bad about it, you actually tried to encourage him to be more responsible with it.

Both on the way to the sandwich shop and waiting in line, your boyfriend made sure to shower you with as much love as possible, a way of thanking you for just being you, but in his own special way. That included arms around you securely, kisses on your lips and head every few seconds and small promises of murmured “I love you’s” that had you hiding your face in his chest. You learned early on in your relationship that his love language was physical touch and words of affirmation and they never failed to make you feel all floaty inside. You were so in love, sometimes it hurt.

After getting your lunch the two of you took a small stroll to the nearby park, finding a bench you could sit down on that overlooked the large patch of vibrant flowers that decorated the middle of the field, as well as allowing you and Peter to gush over the many adorable dogs that were being walked around it by their owners. Which of course sparked a discussion about which dogs you thought each other would be.

The brunette's laughter reminded you that you needed to capture the moment, so just like you did every time the two of you came out somewhere together, you pulled out your phone in preparation of snapping a quick picture together. It was routine at this point, and each and every time without fail Peter would whine and try to tell you to just enjoy the moment.

You would always say the same thing though; “Pete, one day this’ll be all we have.”

The words would always make him feel guilty enough to agree without any more resistance, and in the end he’d have a new photo to dote over on the long missions and nights away from you, when he was really missing just seeing your pretty face.

“C’mon Pete, smile,” you coaxed, holding your phone up with the camera angled to get you both in. Peter wasn’t interested in looking at the camera though, he was too fixated on you. He called your name before you pressed the small button, watching as your head turned to look at him with a wide, lovesick, grin that matched his. Your faces were so close together that the tips of your noses brushed sweetly and only then did you decide to capture the picture.

The two of you reviewed your photography with giddy smiles. “I think this may be my favourite one ever,” he stated honestly, staring down at the phone screen with a heart full of love. “Mine too.”

The rest of the day was spent goofing around in the park together until it started getting dark, Peter demanding he walk you home because ‘that’s what a gentleman does.’

The entire walk from the park to your apartment, which was a rather long distance, the boy had been telling you all about the new star wars film set to release soon (plus all the theories he and Ned had) while swinging your hands together in the middle of you both subconsciously.

You weren’t a die hard fan of the movie series but you’d watched them on numerous occasions with your lovable nerdy boyfriend. You’d usually only end up watching his cute face as he recited parts of the script he’d memorised, but you enjoyed the experience nonetheless. Besides, you adored hearing Peter talk about his interests like that. He was always self conscious that he was being too nerdy, due to the constant teasing from Flash Thompson, but you reassured him every time that seeing that excited glint in his eyes was completely worth dedicating hours of your time to listening to him.

He still wasn’t done by the time you arrived at your destination, and you didn’t have the heart to tell him to shut up when he was so visibly excited. Your hands rested on his chest, playing with the unzipped portion of his hoodie as he continued talking. Eyes softly fixated on his face and that silly smile that made you swoon for the teenage boy.

You did eventually zone out from what he was saying, but only because you were so focused on how soft his lips looked at that specific moment in time. You may not have had the heart to stop him before, but you were aching for his lips on yours right then.

“Just kiss me,” you mumbled, hiding your grin as the man bashfully stopped his rambling, a faded blush forming on his cheeks. His lips melted onto yours, a low hum rising from the back of his throat as his hands tightened on your hips. Neither of you wanted to let go, just wanting to stay in one another’s arms forever if you could. “Stay with me tonight?” you asked, pulling your lips away from his for the moment. He frowned, leaning forward to rest his forehead against yours sweetly.

“I would, but I promised May we’d go for dinner.” You sighed softly, flashing him a smile as you stole a couple more kisses to try and satisfy you.

“That’s okay, I’ll just see you tomorrow.” He nodded his head, pressing one last longing kiss to your soft lips that left you feeling a sense of completion. “Text me later,” you called, blowing him a sweet kiss from where you stood at the entrance of your building. “I love you,” you sang sweetly, a dumb smile on your lips as you watched him go. The last thing you heard was his voice yelling back and I love you as he jogged across the street, leaving you swooning like a fool. You should’ve pushed more for him to stay.

You were still on cloud nine from your day spent with your boyfriend when the chaos started later that night. You didn’t know what was going on at first, all you were aware of was the herd of people crowding around the entrance of the building outside. Your curiosity got the better of you of course and you quickly threw on a hoodie and trudged your way downstairs.

You searched until you found someone you recognised, a neighbour of yours, asking what had happened. “A man fell off the roof.” You were told, your eyes going wide.

You didn’t know it was your man until May called you to fill you in. Obviously she was Peter’s emergency contact, so when one of the bystanders from outside found him they’d had called to tell her while someone else phoned the ambulance. She was panicking as she tried to make her way to your apartment building as quickly as possible, but you assured her you’d stay with him until she got there.

“Peter!” you called, shoving your way through the crown urgently until you saw your love lying there. It was clear from the look on his face that he was in pain and no wonder. It was a miracle to you that he’d even survived a fall of that height.

He did however faintly hear your voice call his name, his eyes fluttering open as he waited to see your face. It wasn’t too long until you were kneeling down beside him, eyes brimming with unshed tears as you looked down into those soft, honey coloured eyes. They looked so lifeless.

“Hey, what happened?” you asked, hands unsteady as you surveyed the scene in front of you, they eventually came to lightly grip his hand, hearing a small hiss slip past the boy’s lips. He was still in his regular clothes, which told you he hadn’t been many places since your date.

“M-Mysterio,” he whispered, hand loosely clutching his abdomen as he spoke. You frowned, his words leading you to believe that this definitely wasn’t an accident. And you knew supervillains didn’t necessarily have morals, but you expected a grown man like Quentin to at least try and fight Peter when he was on guard, with his suit; he was still just a kid at the end of the day.

It was getting harder and harder for Peter to find something to hold onto to keep him grounded. The pain was excruciating, as one can imagine falling numerous stories only to hit the concrete ground, he couldn’t breathe, he just wanted to let go. You saw the way his eyes threatened to close, and as a person close by instructed, you tried your hardest to make sure he kept them open.

“Peter, baby, please. I need you to open your eyes and look at me,” you begged, cradling his face as he strained to look at you. Everywhere hurt as he even so much as took little shaky breaths and you wanted to curse the ambulance for taking so long. It wasn’t going to do much considering, but you noted the trail of blood from his nose that was slowly running down his face, and as a gesture of good will you ever so gently wiped it away with your thumb, flashing the boy a nervous smile.

Your desperate voice was painful to both his heart and ears, he didn’t want it to be like this. You both had always known this was a risk of his job and as much as you hated to talk about the idea of Peter dying, he’d always insisted. He’d told you countless times that he’d never want you to see him like this, if he was going to die he wanted it to be away from his loved ones so they didn’t have to go through what he did with Ben, or what he and Pepper had to with Tony.

Your crying was what snapped him out of his daze and he wasn’t convinced he could be in more pain until he saw the expression on your face.

“You can’t leave me, not now. Just like you shouldn’t have left me on that bus, or that Washington trip or-“ You could see out of the corner of your eye as his lips slowly, painfully, curved into a smile. Your eyebrows drew together in confusion, but you were patient with him as he searched for the strength to speak.

“I love you,” he wheezed, a short wince following his words. “You are, everything, to me.”

The words falling from his lips sounded so sombre and it pained you to hear the way he talked as though he was already dead. He was already assuming the worst and you didn’t want to lose Peter, you didn’t know how you would live if you lost him.

“No, Peter,” you demanded, shaking your head. “Why aren’t you healing? I-I don’t understand, you should’ve healed by now.”

You were incredibly frantic as you tried to do anything you could. So much so that you didn’t hear the sirens of the vehicle finally arriving. All you felt was gentle hands on your back trying to guide you away from his body. You tried to protest at first, only crying harder as you fought the grip of the helping hands on you. But one look from Peter told you it was okay, the man flashing you a weak smile. “Go,” he whispered. “It’s okay.”

You made a pathetic attempt at wiping away your tears and trying to compose yourself as if you hadn’t just broken down in front of a crowd of people. You spared a quick glance at the paramedic that was going to help your boyfriend before turning back to Peter. You leaned in one more time, lightly pressing your lips to his.

“I love you so much. I’ll see you at the hospital, okay?”

He hummed painfully, watching as you rose to your feet and were guided away by the woman that wanted to console you. “Y/N,” he called weakly, catching your attention. “Everything’s going to be fine, I promise.”

And with those words you trusted him completely, a slight sense of hope finding its way back into your heart for the moment. But he broke that promise, he lied.

»»——⍟——««

It felt like time was slowing down as you waited. Waiting, you fucking hated it. Your body felt like if you didn’t hear anything soon then you were going to crumble under the pressure of not knowing. Those hours spent in the hospital waiting room were the worst ones of your life.

For a little while you were the only one there for him, and it scared you to think he could possibly die right now with no one but you here by his side. It wasn’t right.

But thankfully, May arrived quickly after you did, providing you at least a little bit of comfort that you could really use at that moment just to keep you away from your own vicious thoughts. She tried to help you as much as she could, but after a certain point it was like any reasonable part of you had shut down, and you weren’t making it easier for her.

Stubbornly, you refused to do anything but sit there quietly, bouncing your knee as you anticipated any news. May had tried everything, she offered you a snack or drink every so often, of which you denied politely every time. She suggested going home so you could change out of the clothes that had some small patches of Peter’s blood on, but you didn’t want that either. Eventually she gave up, sitting beside you and just taking your shaky hand in hers.

When they finally had news, considering you weren’t family, only May was allowed to speak to the doctor. It frustrated you, why did it matter if you were related to him or not? Either way you loved him so much and you deserved to hear the news from the source. “Peter Parker?” he called. You both shot up from your seats, looking to him expectantly, though his next words caused you to deflate a little. “Family only.”

You looked at her with a frown, but she was quick to reassure you she’d tell you everything as soon as she could. May didn’t know if hearing it from her instead of the doctor was better or worse for you.

You sat back down in the uncomfortable seat with a dejected sigh, stretching your neck to lean your head back on the wall with a scared whimper. You weren’t sure you’d ever felt so tense, your mind was screaming at you to relax but it was impossible while waiting for such news.

It felt like an eternity that May was gone, but as soon as you saw her figure approaching you wanted to wish it away again. You wanted to know– needed to know what happened to him, but you were petrified of the outcome. Just from the pure lack of emotion on her face you assumed the news wasn’t good, and you really didn’t want to know anymore, not if it meant your boy wasn’t okay.

You stood up from your seat again, hands shaking as you plastered a false smile on your face. She approached you slowly, her hands raising to hold your arms so you were looking at nothing and no one but her, she needed your full attention for this. It was very motherly and you were grateful for the comfort. You weren’t a hundred percent sure you could take whatever she was about to say without it.

“He’s okay, right?” you asked, trying to keep a positive mind. You noted the small change in her expression as your words reached her ears, and you were still forcing a smile even as she sat you down in the waiting room of the hospital. You knew what it meant. “May, please tell me he’s okay. T-They helped him, right?” your voice cracked as emotion overtook you before she even said the two words that you were certain changed the course of your life.

She shakily inhaled. “Y/N. He’s gone.”

You took a few seconds to properly process what that meant, as in no more dates, no more sneaky late night kisses, no more Peter. No more Peter. May didn’t know how to approach saying anything else. She feared that anything she could say would send you spiralling and she wanted to keep you as calm as possible. She didn’t open her mouth until you started denying it all, finding the grief settling in your chest too much to bear already.

“B-But he promised,” you tried, your bottom lip wobbling. “He never breaks a promise.”

May was well aware of that. He’d done so in fact earlier that night by still going to dinner with her even when you asked him to stay with you. He was so dedicated to making everyone happy that he would never even think about breaking a commitment he’d already made to someone. You both admired him for that.

“I know,” she cooed, shushing you quietly as your breath quickened to an alarming rate to the point you were desperately trying to get air. May had sat through enough of Peter’s own panic attacks to know exactly what to do to calm a distressed teenager. You were pulled into her chest, her hand gently stroking your hair.

After your initial gasping had subsided you were taken over by anger. Anger at the world, at Mysterio, at the doctors who couldn’t save him, even pathetically at May. She didn’t do anything wrong, no one but Mysterio did, but he wasn’t here for you to take it out on, so that unfortunately fell to your boyfriend’s aunt.

“You’re lying,” you concluded, pushing her motherly touch away from any part of you. She didn’t seem personally offended by your rage, it was understandable, she’d had to deal with a lot of Peter’s. It was very common for kids not to know how to deal with their emotions, especially the stronger one’s; such as grief. And when it came to Peter Parker, he’d been through his fair share, safe to say she had practice.

She shushed you quietly, trying to coax you back into her arms but you were fighting it. It took a long time but you eventually complied, letting out all your tears into her sweater, mumbling a few quiet apologies about getting the material damp with your tears and of course snapping at her. She assured you it was okay, holding back tears of her own that she wouldn’t let fall until you were out of her sight, by now she was much better at this whole grieving process than you.

“He’s with Ben now,” she said. You could hear the love in her voice as she uttered the name of her late husband. As much as it pained her to think about the fact that they were both gone, she was thankful that they at least had each other. “And his mom and dad, and Tony,” she added, a small smile creeping on her face at the thought of how excited the boy would be to see his mentor again. It hurt, but the pain was eased knowing he wouldn’t be alone.

“B-But I still need him. I don't want him to leave me yet,” you cried. May ran a hand over your hair as she cooed quietly, but she didn’t truly know how to stop your tears. She wasn’t sure what she could think of that would do the job. “I know sweetheart, but we’ll get through this.”

You were in such a state of distress at that moment that you didn’t even recognise Happy entering the waiting room. He greeted May with a simple hello, inferring from your current state that things had gone more than sideways.

She didn’t want to talk about you like you weren’t there as she tried to explain things to Happy, but you didn’t seem to be phased in the slightest when she called your name, so she assumed it was okay to continue. You couldn’t actually hear anything going on around you, it was all like white noise to you.

It took you a few minutes to come back enough to realise that May was talking to someone, and only when you took a moment to breathe did you see it was Happy Hogan. You patiently waited for them to stop talking before telling the man the vital piece of information Peter had told you. You could still very clearly hear his broken voice telling you this was the doings of Mysterio.

“It was him,” you cried, furiously wiping your tears away as you looked up at the man. You watched his eyebrows draw together in confusion. This was the first time you’d spoken since he got here, so he just assumed that you weren’t in your right state of mind right now; although to be fair to him you weren’t. “Mysterio k-killed him, Happy.”

You saw the slight shift of anger on his face, and that alone assured you Happy would deal with it. May rubbed your arm comfortingly, her eyes silently communicating with the man that they should probably get you out of here. They should’ve been more wary of the man, they thought after the events that transpired in London everything was over, but they were wrong.

Knowing that there was someone behind this made him think there was a chance you could get clarity, the man could be punished for what he put you all through, and hopefully it'll make you feel somewhat better.

Happy was the one to help you up from the floor, steadying you on your feet just in case your knees didn’t hold out. You were very clearly weak at the moment. “Let’s get you home,” he said. “Then we can talk more about this whole Mysterio thing.”

Of course arriving home after being given such news was strange, and it was even more strange for your parents who’d been panicking regarding your whereabouts for the last few hours. The last they’d seen you’d just come back from a date with Peter, then they heard about some kid falling from the roof and their minds immediately jumped to the possibility it was you, which would explain why you were nowhere to be found.

They were ready to lecture you as soon as you got home, if you got home that was.

But when they saw you standing in the doorway, tears streaming down your face, May Parker by your side practically holding you up so you didn’t fall, they felt a small sense of relief, but it didn’t last for long as the older woman pulled them to the side to explain everything.

They were shocked to hear the news, their eyes falling to you who’d been led inside by Happy. He helped you onto the couch and sat beside you, hoping you’d be able to tell him more about why you thought Quentin Beck was the man that had killed your boyfriend. You were just trying to adjust to being in your home, where an overwhelming amount of memories were hitting you.

Everywhere you looked reminded you of him. The kitchen where you’d spent countless hours baking or cooking together, the couch where you’d had many movie nights cuddled together. Even just your front door where he always gave you a goodnight kiss when he left your apartment. It was all hitting you like a ton of bricks and it was making everything all the more painful, you couldn’t imagine what it would be like once you got back in your room.

“Can you tell me what happened, Y/N?” His voice was incredibly gentle, and he didn’t push you into saying anything straight away. He could tell you were still trying to process everything that had happened and you needed to take a few breaths before you could even begin to think about your conversation with the boy earlier.

“H-He told me. He was lying there, a-and he told me it was him.”

The man didn’t want to make you talk about this any longer. Your parents were itching to get you to your room so you could get some sleep after this whole mess, but of course they knew how important getting justice was. They were obviously nowhere near as broken about this as you, but they also adored Peter and they often spoke about how the love between you two was clear, this was going to be difficult to move on from.

“Well, this has been a hard day for us all, we’ll let you get some rest,” May announced, shuffling over to you to place a motherly kiss on your head. She whispered some reassuring and comforting words to you, reminding you you could come and see her anytime, even if you just wanted to stay in Peter’s room for a night. Happy did more or less the same, seeing you conjure up a weak smile as a thank you to them both.

“But Y/N,” he said, pausing in the doorway, gathering your attention once again. “We’ll get that son of a bitch.”

»»——⍟——««

The night before the funeral, you couldn’t sleep. You were up and out of bed within the early hours of the morning after countless attempts at failed sleep. You were dressed and ready to go by five am, somehow having not awoken your parents, even though the funeral wasn’t until eleven. You had tried to busy yourself with just about anything, but no matter what it was you did your mind always went back to him. You ended up throwing yourself on your bed, a stuffed toy Peter bought you one year for valentines in your arms, just to stare at the ceiling as the hours passed by.

That’s how your mother found you, her heart aching for you in your helpless state. She had to coax you out of bed, her hands glued to your shoulders to try and stabilise you so you didn’t stumble on your feet. The complexity of your emotions was starting to show through in the simplest of things you did, hence your struggle to even stand still at times.

She tried to take the stuffed rabbit from your arms but you wouldn’t let it go, you couldn’t let it go. If you were going to stay as strong as possible for the day then it would probably be best if you took it with you. So eventually your mother gave up trying.

It was a whole other thing to get you into the car. Although you’d been prepared this morning, now that it was becoming a reality you didn’t want to face it. There were lots of tears and much refusal on your part, but lots of cooing and kind words from your mother really helped encourage you.

You didn’t register much on the journey over there, your mind was too preoccupied playing with the watch you’d been given by May and running your fingers over the soft fabric of the bunny. It was Ben’s watch that he’d given Peter, the one you knew he loved and cherished. She’d told you that she was more than certain he’d want you to have it, in fact that was because she knew Peter was considering getting you a matching one for your birthday in a few months time.

Before you knew it your mother was letting you know that you were here, placing her hand on your knee gently before she got out of the car. You were supposed to follow, you knew that much, but you waited a few minutes to gather yourself first, exiting the car to find your parents standing there with the same sympathetic smiles that you’d grown sick of seeing. Your mom placed a hand on your shoulder, guiding you inside the misery filled building where you were met with May.

You were surprised she looked like she was doing so well because you looked the complete opposite and you wished you knew her secret. She was greeting family and friends as they entered, a smile plastered to her face that you couldn’t work out if it was real or not. She locked eyes with you and offered you a sad smile, greeting your parents before moving to you.

“You look lovely, Y/N,” May said, squeezing your shoulders sweetly before she pulled you into a hug. You sighed quietly, resting your chin on her shoulder as you desperately clung to her. She flashed your parents a strained smile over your shoulder, and they could barely muster up one of sympathy for the grieving aunt. You pulled away with a frown, letting your eyes wander the room to see the countless hero’s standing around, all here to pay their respects to their youngest avenger.

It shocked you slightly that Sam and Bucky were here considering what you’d heard from Peter about his encounter with them in Germany. But your thoughts were quickly interrupted at the sight of Morgan clinging to her mother’s hand. It was the older woman’s voice beside you that brought your attention back over to her. “You brought Bunny?” she asked sweetly.

You chuckled, nodding your head as you ran your thumb over its ear. May had been there when Peter gave the stuffed toy to you, so it made sense she recognised it. “Thought it’d give me some comfort.”

She hummed. You left her to greet the remaining guests, letting your eyes fall on Morgan again as you moved to take a seat in the room. You felt for the girl, and you could see the clear confusion on her face. Just like Pepper, you wished you could protect her from everything that happened, keep her the happy little girl you really had begun to love. But that was impossible in the kind of world you lived in, even if it was incredibly unfair.

Your thoughts were interrupted by a hand being gently placed on your shoulder.

“H-Hey Y/N,” Mj was apprehensive when she approached you, something she’d never been before. She was used to you greeting her with wide smiles and warm hugs that she always pretended she didn’t want. You turned your head to look at her but didn’t even bother trying to fake a smile, she was one of your best friends so she’d only know it wasn’t real anyway. “How are you?” she asked politely.

You wanted to scoff, yell at her for asking such a dumb question, anything to try and unleash some of this rage you had against the world at the moment, but you knew none of this was her fault. She was shy and awkward, so you knew she was only trying to make conversation, and without your usual chatty self it was much harder for her to do so. “Awful.”

You didn’t say anything else, but you were aware of the girl bouncing on her feet nervously. You heard her sigh quietly before feeling her slender arms wrapping around your frame in a way that usually you would initiate. “I love you, and I’m here for you if you ever need me,” she told you, placing a friendly kiss on your cheek as she pulled away and left you to mope.

You got a lot more of that, the dreaded sympathy that only made you feel worse. You wanted to escape them all, you were sure one more over exaggerated look of pity from Thor was going to make you explode.

After the main part of the funeral was over, you essentially disappeared. None of the adults responsible for you had any idea where you were, all but one that was. Happy had seen you trying to sneak away with tears dripping from your cheeks and insisted you sit with him and Morgan just for a little while. The girl was notorious for being able to bring up the mood of anyone, hell her dad was Tony Stark, she’d had practice.

There was just something about her innocence and overwhelming positivity that rubbed off on everyone she spoke to, including you, even on a day like today. As soon as she saw the tears on your face she was wrapping her tiny arms around your torso and demanding you let her tell you some jokes. Most of them were terrible, yes, and she didn’t quite understand all of them, obviously having picked them up from someone like Sam who had no filter even around children, but they did make you giggle even just a little bit.

You told her all about your rabbit and where you got it when she asked, the girl happy to listen to the story about the boy she’d considered like her brother. It had been a touchy topic the entire day and pretty much no one had actually spoken about him, it was nice to hear about and talk about in your case.

Happy was glad to see you smiling, and the sight even had a smile of his own tugging at the corners of his mouth. Over the last month your parents, May, Happy and even your school friends (which only consisted of Ned and Mj mainly) had made it their mission to try and get you out of the house, or at least to smile.

They hadn’t all been successful. Mj had simply read to you in the park one early morning when you found you couldn’t sleep, it started out well, you were outside, but the book had been a bad choice; some story about two lovers that couldn’t be together that only in turn made you more sad. She’d apologised profusely, assuring you she didn’t know but you brushed it off with that same numb feeling in your stomach.

May had managed to bring you a sense of comfort, but not one that had you smiling, more so one that was just helping you to grow more attached to Peter. She’d brought over a hoodie of his, with the promise of bringing more when that one lost his scent, and you truly were grateful, but you weren’t sure how much help it really was.

Your parents didn’t know what to do, they just tried to help out when they could, they listened to you cry and curse at the world for taking such a perfect boy, but no smile.

Happy had managed to pull the smallest of smiles out of you though. He’d found Peter’s camera and laptop while he was sorting through Spiderman’s room at the compound, and after going through a bit of the content on there, most of which was videos of you and Peter being dumb or the man taking off guard photos of you for the sake of just documenting how much he loved you, he decided you would be happy to have it. And he was right, he’d stayed with you while you went through the first few things on the harddrive, seeing the watery smile on your face as you got to hear his voice again. You’d actually thanked him, with a quiet almost undetected crack in your voice. It was something you were going to cherish forever.

The most successful of the bunch though had actually been Ned, mainly because he was also trying to adapt to losing the boy he did everything with, he lost his best friend too. Everyone had told him it wasn’t a good idea, but the boy had insisted. He thought doing all the things you used to do with Peter might bring back old memories, good memories.

He was completely right, from watching star wars to even going as far as playing with legos with him, he had you laughing all night. It was like the you from before the incident was back and he was happy to be the one to have made it that way. It didn’t last though, so clearly it was too good to be true, by the next day you were right back to the way you were, like Ned’s attempt at making you happy hadn’t even happened, but it was a start.

Now Happy wasn’t sure if what he was about to do would cheer you up or make you even more upset, but he wanted to respect Peter’s wishes that he’d explained to Happy when you started dating. He didn’t know what Peter had said on the device, he didn’t want to intrude on that, but he hoped it was good.

“H-He wanted me to give this to you, in case anything like this ever happened,” Happy explained. You took the small disc from the man’s hands with your brows drawn together in confusion. He flashed you a tight lipped smile and coaxed Morgan away from you for a little while.

You hadn’t minded her company, she was the only one at the funeral who wasn’t pitying you and treating you like a newborn baby. She had suffered more than you in this past year, and you had no idea how she kept her spirit up, she’d lost her dad and the boy she’d grown to consider a brother in such a short time, she truly amazed you.

You sat in the room alone just staring at the techy disc in your hands. It had a small label on the side and scribbled in Peter’s adorably messy handwriting were the words ‘For my love.’

It made you smile slightly, having to wipe away a few tears that escaped so they didn’t fall onto the item in your hands.

You tucked it into your pocket with a promise to watch it as soon as you got home, and with a few deep breaths and a quick squeeze of the toy, you were psyching yourself up to head back and find your parents, see how everyone else was doing.

You wanted today to be over already.

»»——⍟——««

The first thing you did when you got home was head straight to your room. Your curiosity as to what was on that device was growing as the seconds ticked by, yet you wanted to be the only one to see it. It felt like you were being a little selfish, but it was addressed to you and you didn’t think anyone else deserved to hear what he had to say as much as you did.

You turned the lock on your door and placed the small piece of tech on the end of your bed, trying to decipher how to turn it on.

It startled you when the hologram projected the image a few feet away, a clear picture of your boyfriend that had you gasping. Part of you wanted to reach out for him, hoping he’d reach back but you knew it’d crush your soul when he didn’t. At the end of the day it was no more than a recording that was a little more high tech thanks to his mentor.

“Wow okay, I-I don’t really know where to start here,” he chuckled. You could see how on the hologram he nervously played with his fingers, something that would usually have you reaching over to hold his hand. “Mr Stark said I should make one of these just in case anything ever happened. May got one too, so don’t worry about that,” he explained. You didn’t know why, considering he couldn’t see you, but you were nodding along.

“If you’re watching this then I’m, well dead. I-I don’t know how it happened- O-Obviously you do, but I can guarantee no matter how, you were the last thing on my mind. You’re always on my mind, baby.”

You smiled softly. You had to take a second and pause the video. It was overwhelming to see him so real for the first time since the incident, and this time you couldn’t stop yourself reaching out to just hope something happened; Anything really. Of course your hand just fell straight through the paused projection as expected, forcing a sob out of your throat. But with a few deep breaths, and a very heavy heart, you were calm enough again to finish hearing what he had to say.

You pressed play and pulled your knees up to your chest, curling in on yourself like a human ball of sadness, eyes trailing over to the spiderman plushie in the centre of your bed. It’d been a gag gift from MJ at first, one that Peter found rather funny too, and eventually the teddy became a permanent feature of your bed. These past weeks it’d been your lifeline. So it was understandable that you reached out for it to cling to while you watched the remainder of the tape. It had a different meaning to Bunny, Bunny was something that came directly from your love and connected you to Peter. But this one connected you directly to Spiderman and that’s what you felt like you needed though.

His death hadn’t been about Peter, it had been about Spiderman.

“I will never stop loving you Y/N. But if you are seeing this someday, then I want you to know that I want you to move on.” There was a few seconds of silence where he wanted to let his words sink in. “I know what it’s like to lose people you love, and I know it hurts, it hurts so bad. But please move on some day, don’t waste your life waiting for me to come back, because I can’t.” The crack in his voice was evident as he basically forced his last words out.

You sighed shakily, gnawing on your bottom lip as you tried to hold back the tears. You didn’t know hearing your lover say that could hurt you so much. He just wanted you to be happy, it shouldn’t make you so upset that he wanted you to be happy without him.

“Go have fun, go get a tattoo or just do something reckless. Do all the things we wanted to do together instead of crying in your room like I know you already are. But do these things with someone, someone you love. Don’t spend time regretting whatever happened because you can’t change it, it’s always gonna suck bubba, it just starts to suck less.”

He was right. God he was so right, just like he always was. That’s another one of the countless things you adored about him, he was just so smart that he was always right all the time. It was something that used to make him flustered because he didn’t want people to see him as a know it all. You smiled at the thought, nuzzling your nose into the head of the bear that had a barely lingering scent of your boyfriend on it; maybe you could ask May for some of his shirts to put on it.

“Peter?” Your head shot up as you heard your own voice on the recording, all things starting to lock into place as you realised when he filmed this. You remembered hanging out with him that day, and you remember asking what the disc thing was that he was holding. He’d brushed it off and told you it was something for Tony before showering you in greeting kisses.

“Uh, you’re here so I should go. I love you Y/N, forever.” The hologram shut off at that point and you knew what he probably expected you to do. So you mumbled the next two words quietly under your breath. “And always.”

You laid back on your bed, taking a few deep breaths before you descended into heartbreaking sobs at the thought of your lover again. This was going to be one hell of a process.

That night, after everything, you needed Peter more than ever. You were craving the feeling of his arms wrapping around you so desperately. Like every other night in the past month you’d planned on crying yourself to sleep, finding it was the only way to get your mind to shut down and allow you to enjoy the pleasantry of sleeping.

Unexpectedly, or maybe you should’ve seen it coming, your mother intervened, insisting just for the night she wanted you to try and take care of yourself, with her help if you needed it.

She couldn’t stand to see you so broken. With much convincing you eventually did agree, simply doing the small things probably would make you feel even the tiniest bit better, and that was good enough for you. She’d dubbed it a much needed self care night.

You were starting with a warm bath, hoping to try and relax and take your mind off of everything. What you didn’t intend was for the swarm of memories of the times you and Peter had shared the intimacy of baths with each other. It was further along in your relationship when you grew more comfortable with each other, so the action in itself was very short lived, but you loved it just as much. You were convinced you could still feel his strong arms around your body, lips on your neck and head and the thought alone only made you sob so much harder.

Of course what you didn’t know was Peter actually was there, in spirit— or maybe ghost form he didn’t really know, shedding tears of his own as he nuzzled his face into your shoulder. He didn’t know how this whole death thing worked, didn’t know why you could feel him but not see him or hear him and your current state broke his heart.

He tried to tell you that he was there but he never seemed to grab your attention. He needed you just as much as you needed him. Granted he’d been reunited with the many people he’d lost through his short life, but he was a kid, he was scared, and he needed his partner in crime by his side like always to help him through it. But sadly, that’s not how it worked.

“I’m here Y/N,” he frowned, heart breaking further than he thought possible. “I’m here.”

»»——⍟——««

After the funeral it didn’t take long until you’d convinced your parents you were okay to go to school. It’d only been just over a month since the incident, so of course you were still grieving, but you were just desperate to throw yourself and your focus into anything at this point, just to get your mind off of him. You couldn’t keep spending your days locked in your room crying into your valentine’s bear he’d got you one year. They were hesitant at first, but after you explained they understood where you were coming from.

But stepping through those familiar doors on that first day back, you weren’t sure it was exactly the right decision anymore. You were met with an overwhelming wave of pitying faces, even more so when walking past the decorated locker that belonged to him.

Others noticed how you slowed your steps when you approached it, seeing the pictures and worn down candles decorating the outside. Each picture was recognisable to you, but you didn’t understand how anyone other than yourself or your friends could have gotten a hold of them, but MJ and Ned never notified you they’d created a shrine.

You hated it. If you knew anything about your boy you knew that he wouldn’t have wanted this. Peter was far from popular in this school, considered a nerd that people tended to just make fun of, especially Flash Thompson. But now even he was pretending to be sympathetic towards the brunette and it made you ridiculously irritated. You didn’t know what to do in your sudden rage, you couldn’t just tear down the shrine, then you’d be seen as such a horrible person, but the thought of these people pretending they knew Peter, your Peter, disgusted you.

You were snapped out of your seething daze by a sudden hand being placed on your shoulder, your body tensing up and relaxing when Ned stepped into your line of vision. He seemed perkier than he was the last time you saw him, granted that was at the funeral so you wouldn’t expect him to be very happy.

“Y/N, long time no see,” Ned teased. You smiled softly, startling him when you pulled him into a tight hug, right in the middle of the busy school hallway. You melted into your friend, knowing the both of you really needed that hug right now. “Let’s go somewhere quieter. I don’t like how everyone’s looking at us.”

You agreed silently, following him all the way to the library where the two of you found Michelle working on some project. She smiled at Ned when she saw him, but she smiled even wider when her gaze landed on you, happy to see her friend trying to get herself back into her normal everyday routine.

She waited for you to approach the table before she said or did anything. You were the one to pull her into a hug, a tight one, but she hugged back just as easily. It wasn’t like when you’d usually have to coax her into hugging you back, but she didn’t want to keep taking your affection for granted, not when one of her best friends was ripped away from her so easily and suddenly. “I missed you,” she whispered.

“I missed you too.”

After your quick reunion, the pair of you sat down at the table beside Ned, delving into a quiet conversation. It felt so natural, like nothing had ever changed, even if there was a very large gap missing from your lives and your friendship group.

“Hey, Y/L/N.” Your head turned to where the voice had come from, watching Flash get shushed by the librarian for yelling so loudly while people were trying to enjoy the quiet. Like most other teachers at Midtown she knew how much of a bully he was, especially towards Peter– she on many occasions had had to give you and your boyfriend a place to hide out from him when he just got too much to keep brushing off, hence why she sent a wink your way after she scolded him. You didn’t want pity from your fellow students or even the teachers, but at that moment you were really glad the lovely woman was looking out for you.

The brunette that had yelled for you simply rolled his eyes, taking the scolding as his queue to step closer to your table. You gulped, eyes flickering between him and your friends and then that sick smirk playing on his face.

“I’m sorry to hear about Parker, such a sad loss-” MJ intervened before he could say something that would really hurt you. Even the mention of his name and the implication of his tragic death was painful enough to think about. “Cut it out Eugene. This isn’t a joke.”

“I didn’t say it was, Michelle.” She glared at him angrily and you placed your hand on her arm for a tiny bit of comfort. You didn’t have to sit here and amuse him, he wasn’t worth the time or effort. “I was just offering my condolences to the guy’s loved one. I heard you were there that night, Y/N–”

That was enough for your friends. “Let’s just go, you don’t need to listen to him.” You agreed with Ned, packing up your stuff quickly so you didn’t have to keep listening to Flash’s insensitive comments. He always took stuff too far.

The three of you headed to your first class early rather than suffering through the richkid’s presence. It wasn’t great, especially not with all the looks of sympathy you were getting, but it was the best alternative. You kept your head down most of the time, as you did for all of your classes that morning, your teachers didn’t mind, they put it down to the events everyone was aware had transpired. Usually you’d hate it, but it meant you could simply just relax with numerous distractions until lunch.

The majority of lunch was spent with your head on MJ’s shoulder while she ate and occasionally read a line of her book to you, not participating in conversation, but being constantly brought back to reality by the feel of her hand playing with your hair. You thanked her quietly for the affection, even if it was just a small gesture, but it was something she knew Peter used to do and it just made you feel so loved.

By the end of the day you were exhausted, and your mind had been made up that you maybe needed some more time off before you could really settle back into school.

You let your friends know as such, receiving nothing but love, understanding and unconditional support and you were overwhelmingly grateful for that.

When the three of you were leaving for the day, they offered to walk you home, maybe spend some time with you at your apartment so you didn’t have to be alone in your thoughts. You accepted, offering them both your thanks that they insisted wasn’t necessary.

Before you made it out of the building, you vocalised your thoughts about the shrine you’d seen, the one that made you uncomfortable.

“What’s up with that?” you asked MJ as you walked past Peter’s locker, noticing more stuff had been added since you saw it for the first time that morning. She frowned but then rolled her eyes. “Something some random girl started when the news got out, claimed they were such good friends that she just had to remember him somehow.”

You cocked your head. To your knowledge the only female friends Peter has ever had were you, MJ, Betty and Liz, and he hasn’t talked to Liz since she moved away. “Who was it?”

The girl just simply shrugged, tugging you in the direction of the school doors so you didn’t keep fixating on the sad attempt at making up for the way Peter had been treated by his peers throughout his school life. “Let’s get you home and in a better mood.”

“Will ice cream be involved?” you asked, flashing your friend puppy dog eyes. She giggled, picking up your guys’ pace. “Of course it will be.”

»»——⍟——««

After some time in your apartment watching movies in your room, just like old times, Ned had to leave. That left you and MJ, lounging in your bed with tubs of ice cream and some random movie playing. You were paying more attention to it than she was, you didn’t know the name of it but it was interesting enough, but she was actually studying your room.

She hadn’t been in there in a few weeks and it hadn’t changed significantly. But it was like you were at a toss up of whether you wanted to hide every trace of Peter, or put everything he’d ever touched on show.

She was concerned about you, everyone was, and she didn’t know any other way to approach it other than to be straight up. Her ice cream tub was placed down on one of the side tables beside your bed, the girl then cuddling into your side. Her arms were wrapped around one of yours, her head settling on your shoulder.

She hoped the soft touch would make this go down smoother. “Y/N?” she asked.

You hummed, tearing your eyes away from the screen to look at those wide brown ones that were looking right at you. You offered her a warm smile, letting her know she could tell you whatever was on her mind.

“Do you miss him?” she asked. Her voice was so quiet you almost didn’t hear it. It was like she was scared to ask, unsure it was the right thing to say. You both knew the answer realistically, but she was just curious how you were holding up.

You nodded. “More than anything. B-But, thinking about him hurts, which is why I covered all the pictures,” you explained, motioning to the turned down picture frames on your desk. “But I don’t want to stop thinking about him either, then I miss him too much—“

“Which is why you’ve got the stuffed toys and his hoodie,” she deducted. You didn’t even realise you had his hoodie on, not until she pointed it out. It was just a natural thing for you to do at this point. You recognised the familiar blue material when you looked down at it, a ghost of a smile on your lips.

You didn’t even realise you had started crying until MJ wiped a tear away from your cheek. You sniffled, chuckling awkwardly as you apologised. “There’s nothing to be sorry for.” You smiled gratefully, nuzzling your cheek against the top of her head sweetly. So much physical contact with MJ over these past few weeks was strange, you weren’t used to it, but it was incredibly comforting and you really appreciated it.

She noticed you suddenly seemed quieter, leading her to believe you had something on your mind. “Everything okay?”

You hesitated before responding. “This is going to sound crazy, but I've been seeing him, in my dreams. He talks to me and tells me he’s okay, and–”

She reminded you to take a few deep breaths, She didn’t want you to overwhelm yourself like you were so clearly doing. The tears were getting much worse to control. She was making this whole thing so much easier with her gentle touches, you’d probably be an even bigger mess if she wasn’t here. “He was upset that I wasn’t wearing the necklace he gave me.”

She didn’t say anything, just allowed you to take your time. “I-I have my necklace, the one with his initial on it, but I haven’t been able to bring myself to wear it.” It was sad, you loved the dainty piece of jewellery, it was something you held dear to you since receiving it as a gift on your one year anniversary, and recently was the only time you’d taken it off since he gave it to you.

MJ had never seen you so broken. “It’d be good to keep wearing it,” she said. “Don’t try and block him out of your memory, Y/N.”

She was right. You’d never forget him, never, but trying to pretend as though he didn’t exist by blocking out the memories, or hiding everything you had connected with him wasn’t a good idea.

“I think— I think I might go and see him tomorrow, maybe I’ll be able to wear it then.” She offered to come with you, knowing it might be too painful or uncomfortable to go alone, but you politely turned the offer down. This was something you had to do alone, you didn’t want her to see you grieving more than she already has. You couldn’t imagine you were going to be pleasant to be around. “Thank you, for everything, MJ.”

»»——⍟——««

You didn’t think you were ever going to get used to visiting your boyfriend’s grave. It was strange and you weren’t one that could bring yourself to have a conversation with the headstone like you knew a lot of people did, it felt too weird, you didn’t like it. But you were still going to sit there and reminisce for as long as you could.

Before you left your home, you’d clipped your necklace back on. It’d been tucked away shallowly in a drawer and running your hands over the gold letter had brought a tear to your eye. Peter watched over your shoulder as you fumbled to get the clasp fastened correctly. It made him smile, you’d always been bad with necklaces, he was always the one who’d put them on for you.

It felt so intimate whenever he did that, he would always place a sweet kiss to your shoulder that signalled he was done and it would have goosebumps erupting all over your body. Apparently you both remembered the thought at the same time, a small smile creeping onto your face as you let go of the chain, letting it rest against your skin. You picked up the flowers you’d gotten in advance for this, making sure to take them with you.

“You can do this Y/N.”

That was all the encouragement you needed. With the necklace firmly around your neck you were heading right to the graveyard, walking through the many rows of graves to find the specific one you were looking for. The name carved in the stone sent a shiver down your spine.

You took a seat on the grass in front of the headstone, raising your hand to let your fingertips trace the writing of his name. You set the flowers down at the bottom of the stone, taking a singular one out and keeping it in your grasp.

“Hey, Pete,” you whispered. You pulled your knees up to your chest, wrapping your arms around them. You rested your cheek against the tops of them, letting out a sigh as you delved into your silence that you’d remain in for the entirety of your visit.

Your mind and heart was full of memories of the times you’d spent with him, they made you happy and brought a sense of warmth to your heart. You had quite a few in the space you were in right now, only of another person’s grave. Being in this place reminded you of the times you’d accompanied your boyfriend to visit his Uncle Ben. The last time hadn’t been that long ago, he made it a monthly thing that he always stuck to.

You were there to provide him comfort. Sometimes the two of you would just sit in silence together, other times when it was particularly difficult, you’d cradle his head and stroke his cheek, letting him talk about all his good memories with Ben to make him feel better.

If you focused you could still feel the skin of his cheek under your thumb, and if you concentrated even harder you could feel the faint touch of him doing the same to you. He simply wanted to return the comfort.

You sighed, closing your eyes as you willed the tears away. That was how the rest of your day was spent, in the same spot, in the same silence, until your phone started to ring with a concerned parent calling you. You let your mom know where you were and that you’d start to head back. You didn’t know when it got dark but it meant you’d been sitting there a while. The time flew by like it was nothing. “I’ll see you soon, Peter.”

You fiddled with the singular flower in your hands that you’d taken from Peter’s cluster, deciding you had one more thing to do before you left to go home. You remembered the route to Ben’s grave easily, considering May didn’t frequently visit her husband’s grave anymore, finding it too painful, and now Peter was gone, there was no one else left to see him. You thought the man deserved better than that. You didn’t know him too well, mainly just knew things from what Peter had told you, but that didn’t matter.

You laid down the flower at his grave. “‘M sorry, ben.” You don’t really know what you were apologising for, maybe it was because his nephew was gone, or maybe deep down you just felt guilty that they were both gone and you were still here. Either way, you made a promise to yourself to bring the old man a flower every time you came to visit Peter.

For the first time in a long time as you headed home in the dark you felt scared. Usually you had that reminder that Peter was out there watching over the streets of Queens, nothing bad would happen to you when he was out there. And if he wasn’t on patrol, he was the one walking you home, but you no longer had that safety net.

Of course he was watching you like usual though, over your shoulder to make sure you were safe. Peter didn’t know what the limitations of death were, he didn’t know what he could actually do for you if anything bad was to happen, but he likes to think he could do something. For now though, you were just set on getting home.

»»——⍟——««

Nervously fiddling with your necklace had become a bit of a thing for you since you started wearing it again. You couldn’t actually believe what you were about to do, neither could your friends. You’d told MJ and Ned you wanted to apologise to Flash for the other day. If you were truly going to move on from everything, get back to being the happy person you were before Peter’s death, then you had to stop with the hatred. He could hate you all he wanted, but you couldn’t do it anymore.

You left your friends by your locker when you saw the kid heading down the hall. With a deep breath you were calling his name, watching his eyes widen as he saw you. “Hey, Flash.” He really hadn’t expected you to approach him, especially after the way MJ reacted to him in the library.

“Are you here to yell at me? Did Michelle not do a good enough job?” he spat. You huffed, swallowing down any snarky remark you wanted to shoot back at the unbearable boy. Now you remembered why you disliked him so much, he truly was insufferable. But this apology was all about moving on and making things right. You couldn’t get angry and back out.

“I-I’m sorry about the other day, about jumping to conclusions,” you started. “MJ was just being protective, and–”

He shook his head, flashing you a smile that you’d never seen before from him. It actually looked genuine and it surprised you. He thought if anything he should be the one saying sorry for everything he’s put you through, as well as Peter in the past. It might not make up for anything he ever said or did to the boy, but it was certainly a start. “I should be the one apologising.”

It was shocking that you could have an actual genuine conversation with Flash, this was something you’d never done in the numerous years you’d known him. It went better than you thought it would and by the end of it all bad blood between the two of you had been squashed. He could never take back anything he said, or apologise directly to Peter, but you deemed it good enough that he was willing to make amends between you. If only he’d do the same with your friends.

After your talk with him you went and found them again, seeing they were still waiting for you by your locker. The grins on their faces were a telltale sign of how they thought it went. “So, how did it go?” The pair were ready to tease you for your trying, believing the kid wasn’t someone you could have a civil conversation with. They believed him to be just as insufferable as you did before about five minutes ago, possibly more.

“Actually, really well.” They stared at you like they were waiting for a punchline, but it never came. It was difficult for them to process that you were being completely serious, so they treaded carefully. “H-He really had a conversation, and apologised to you?”

You rolled your eyes. “Yes, now can we be done with this?”

They shared a look that you didn’t want to begin to address, taking their silence as a yes. MJ was the one to actually change the subject though, leading the three of you to your first class of the day, going off on some tangent about a book she’d been reading the previous day.

Ned stole your attention though, the boy wrapping his arm around your shoulders sweetly. “He’d be proud of you,” he whispered, not wanting to interrupt the ranting brunette girl. It brought a smile to your face the more you thought about it. “You think so?”

He nodded, confirming. “I know so.”

»»——⍟——««

Peter was right. The pain of losing him never went away, he was still the first thing on your mind every time you woke up, but it had considerably started to suck less as time went on.

You got yourself into a brand new routine that no longer involved him, and in a way things were starting to go back to normal for you. Or at least as normal as they could be, it just took some time.

Part of your morning routine before work was to go and get a coffee from a cute little shop down the street from your home. It was quiet, quaint and the perfect place for you to ease into the morning of a busy day.

That was where you met him for the first time. It was unintentional, you’d just got your coffee and were heading out of the door when you stumbled over your own feet, ever so clumsy. Of course you had to drop your newly purchased drink too, watching it spill on the floor. He was the one that caught you, saving the embarrassment of landing flat on your face in the middle of all these people. And you were ever so grateful this moment wasn’t one of those typical cliché’s where you spilled your coffee on him and a romance blossomed when you offered to repay him.

You were a little flustered when you finally built up the courage to speak to him, chuckling nervously as you wiped your sweaty palms on your jeans. “S-Sorry about that, my friends always tell me I’m clumsy. I guess I underestimate them.”

His deep chuckle reached your ears and you could’ve sworn your heart paused for a minute. You raised your head to look at him for the first time after you very literally fell for him, and you were slightly shocked. You hadn't expected him to be so attractive. If you didn’t feel a massive wave of guilt and a sudden thought about Peter the moment after that, you probably would’ve thought about the possibility of getting his number. But that felt wrong, like you were betraying the boy you promised had your heart forever.

“Don’t worry, I’m just glad I could prevent a pretty girl from getting hurt.” His flirting wasn’t subtle and it had heat rushing to your cheeks as you froze in your spot like a shocked school girl. He noticed the way you didn’t take easily to the flirting, but he brushed it off as you maybe being shy and tried to ease it up a little.

“Could I maybe buy you another coffee, I feel partly responsible for making you drop yours.”

You seemed hesitant to him. He was starting to grow a little embarrassed himself, thinking you were completely uninterested and he’d just made a fool of himself. He watched as your hand came up to your chest, twirling the small letter pendant in between your fingers.

It suddenly hit him the possibility of you having a significant other and he backtracked on everything he said. “I’m sorry. I didn’t even think about you having a boyfriend, I-I was just so distracted and—“

You shook your head, offering him a smile. This is what he meant by moving on and you needed to start trying to do so eventually. “No, uh— I don’t. It’s complicated.”

You realized that probably wasn’t the greatest of explanations you could’ve given, so you tried to attempt to save the conversation. “Why don’t I let you know over that coffee?”

The grin returned to his face, his head nodding. “I’d like that. Maybe I could start with getting your name.”

»»——⍟——««

Even after many years had passed, the loss of the love of your life was enough to haunt you every day. You’d tried to do as he asked, you tried so hard to move on, not only with your everyday life, but your love life too. And you did, but no one would ever replace Peter.

Thankfully, after some searching, you’d found a man that was okay with that. He was completely respectful over your attachment to the male, because he couldn’t truly understand the hurt you’d gone through losing Peter at such a young age and he didn’t want to be the one to force you to forget all of your progress.

No longer would you cry a river every time you saw a picture of his face, and you wanted that to be acknowledged, hence the small pictures that decorated the apartment you and your new boyfriend shared. He didn’t mind them, he actually embraced them often. He was always wanting to know the stories behind them and wanting to see others you had stored somewhere. He quickly came to discover you and Peter documented much of your time together, and often when you were feeling down and particularly missing him, he would recreate some of the infamous dates you spoke of even years later.

The dreams had also gotten easier. At first Peter plagued your dreams every time you closed your eyes to go to sleep, but eventually his visits to your unconscious mind grew fewer the less you needed him. That was due to him believing it wasn’t helping you like he’d thought. Reminding you of what you used to be was keeping you from blossoming in your new relationship.

Whether you were ready or not, Peter decided tonight would be the time he said goodbye. He had a feeling it’d be quite the emotional one, but thankfully you had your new lover beside you to comfort you if you needed it.

He waited until you were in a deep enough sleep, invading your dream with a comforting smile that would hopefully make this go down easier.

When you first noticed him he watched the sweetest grin spread across your beautiful face, making his heart feel all fuzzy. “Pete, I missed you.”

You didn’t hesitate to throw your arms around him, burying your head in the crook of his neck and being engulfed by that familiar scent of him. He couldn’t let you believe this was going to be one of those pleasant memories though. If he wanted this to be as easy as it could be, it was going to have to be quick. “We need to talk.”

Your smile dropped quickly, that aching feeling lingering in your chest. These dreams with Peter meant too much to you for them to go away now.

You had no idea that this was him actually finding his way into your dreams, before now all the quick greetings had led into at least one memory you shared so you just assumed they were things you actually experienced. But this one wasn’t real, this one was new.

“I have to stop coming here,” he said, stroking your cheek lightly with his thumb. It hurt him more than you could ever understand to be doing this to you. “You don’t need me anymore.”

“What? Of course I do. Y-You can’t leave.”

This was the difficult part, convincing you that his actions were in your best interest rather than him being cruel. “No, believe me, you don’t.”

The sweet tone he was using was confusing your mind. You wanted to give in because of how kind he sounded, but that completely conflicted with the feeling of pain blooming in your heart at the words he was saying. “No, no.” It felt as though agreeing to this term meant you were agreeing to finally letting Peter go. That wasn’t the case but your emotions were really beginning to cloud your judgment to the point it didn’t matter what was true and what wasn't.

Your hands reached forward to fist the material of his shirt, trying to swallow down the sob threatening to topple past your lips. “Peter, please, don’t leave me,” you begged, your blurry eyes fixed on the figure standing in front of you. You didn’t try to wipe your tears anymore because they only proved to fall harder and faster down your already stained cheeks. He smiled that soft smile that you loved you so much, his thumb gliding over your cheek.

“You don’t need me anymore,” he repeated, not in a rude or controlling kind of way, my god he would stay by your side in a heartbeat if he truly believed he needed to, but rather in a wise way. It was unhealthy for you to keep clinging onto this last bit of him you saw in your dreams, especially when you were trying to move on, unlike his, your life had to keep moving forward.

Of course he would always be watching over in case you really needed him. His Spiderman persona may have been what got him killed but he still had the urge to protect people, more specifically and especially you, from any form of danger.

It was difficult for him, because Peter couldn’t progress anymore, he was stuck having to spectate from now until forever. But he was glad he could continue to watch you grow, watch you marry, maybe even have the family you always talked about together.

He would never truly leave you, but he couldn’t keep visiting you like this if he still expected you to stop having him on your mind day in and day out.

“I do, I need you more than anything,” you said, trying to convince him to keep coming back to your dreams. The nicer dreams were sometimes all that got you through certain days, and you didn’t think you were willing to give that up what felt like so soon. Of course it wasn’t soon, it’d been years, but that didn’t make it any easier, you just didn’t want to let go.

“No baby.” He cupped your face, resting his forehead against yours before lightly pecking your lips. “You’re okay now, you can do this without me.”

You tried to protest, but apparently he’d made his mind up. You were too upset about the situation to notice the tears building in his own eyes as he kissed you for the final time before he’d have to part with you.

“I love you, Pete. Forever,” you said, sniffling quietly. One of your hands was cupping his cheek, the other playing with the hair at the nape of his neck like you used to do when he’d take naps on you. He smiled a watery smile. “And always.”

You awoke with a loud gasp that dissipated into a choked sob, one that startled the man next to you. He was surprisingly used to waking up to you in this state, and he didn’t blame you for it. He was quiet as he helped you to lay back down, pulling you into his body.

“Hey, you’re okay. You’re home, in bed, safe.” You melted into the man’s side comfortably, most of the initial stress of your dream fading away at the touch of the man you loved. His lips lightly came down to leave a few pecks on your hairline, his large hand rubbing up and down your back until your body stopped its trembling.

One of the things you loved about him was that he never forced you to talk about these dreams if you didn’t want to. Even without telling him what it was he knew exactly who was there.

“It was another Peter dream,” you spoke after a few minutes of silence. He hummed quietly. He didn’t hate it when you talked about Peter, or the fact that you still had your pictures together decorating your apartment, or the fact that he knew you always carried around a polaroid of the man, because he understood. Or he understood as well as he could, but he respected that you were trying for him and that’s all that mattered. He was at least proud of how far you’d come grieving wise since he’d met you.

“D’you want to try going back to sleep? Or we could watch a movie or something.”

You shook your head to the latter offer, mumbling something about just going back to sleep peacefully in his arms.

He was perfectly okay with that, nodding his head and doing whatever he could to make sure you drifted off again. He was finding it harder to fall asleep, worried that you would need his help again.

Instead he just lied there, listening to your slowing breaths in the dark room, his fingertips trailing up and down your arm. His eyes scanned the room for what he could see, eyes landing on the framed picture across from the bed.

It was of you and Pete of course, right next to another one of you and him together. Peter could remember the day it was taken, it was one he would often project in your dreams when he could feel that you were especially needing him. It was the day of the incident however, but he hoped by helping you remember the good of the day, it would outweigh the bad.

His eyes flickered down again to you in his arms. The way your breathing had slowed now that you’d fallen back asleep, peacefully this time due to the sense of protection you felt being cradled by your boyfriend.

For the last time he looked back up at the picture and his mouth twitched into a smile, his eyes watering partially at the circumstance. And as Peter began to disappear for good so your boyfriend could love you in peace, he watched as the man stared at your picture and whispered a quiet, grateful, thank you.

━━━━━━━━━♡♥♡━━━━━━━━━

peter parker taglist → @call-me-baby-gir1 @parkerlovebot @sinisterspidey @givebuckyhisplumsnow @lowkey-holland @hollandcrush @wizkiddx @sannie-san-shine @sonnydoesrandomshit @hopeless-romantic-baby @thehumanistsdiary @dummiesshort @itsbieberxholland @lillucyandthejets @bvttercupbby @spideyspeaches @httphollands @captainamirica @lou-la-lou @slutforsr @tayyx @annathesillyfriend @paninipress @whoeveniskendall @dhtomholland @multixfandomwriter @magicalxdaydream @hallecarey1 @lovehollandy12 @peterbenjiparker @the-girl-in-the-chair @belovedholland @rqmanoff @hogwartsmarvelmommy @elishi03 @mn-jun @nocturnalms @peter-parkers-gf @wrendermeuseless @ladyluvr @ccosmic-illusion @camelliaflow3r @ellabellabus07 @hunnybunimdun @tomslover @instabull @usergarfields @raajali3 @kayasholland @inthegetawaycarwithtaylah @peterparkersgirlfriend1 @wildholland @reallysparklychaos @thollandgf

#tom holland #peter parker #peter parker fluff #peter parker angst #peter parker imagines #peter parker imagine #peter parker oneshot #spiderman #tom!peter parker #peter parker x reader

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ohheyitsokay · 3 years

Text

just a day

welcome to the poly frontier?

listen absolutely no shade to the other authors who write triple frontier poly fics (I got permission) I just wanted to try my take on what relationships with this group of guys would look like - and I honestly think my execution is going to look really really different. This one’s just for me to explore and start to develop the dynamics, so I really hope you all enjoy!

note: I’m going to say this is an 18+ series, sorry!

pairing: triple frontier guys - Will “Ironhead” Miller, Santiago “Pope” Garcia, Francisco (Frankie) “Catfish” Morales, and Ben “Benny” Miller x (f) reader

wordcount: 2k?

warnings: obviously a poly relationship, which includes kissing, domestic intimacy with all of them (not just with the reader, but not in-between Will and Ben because nope), mild sexual themes

another note: I will not be fetishizing male/male relationships, nor will I be including any romance or sexual between the brothers

You wake up tucked into Will’s chest, his beard tickling your hairline like he fell asleep kissing it. Hand on his chest, you feel the steady rise and fall of it, slow and peaceful in the murky morning light. His arm is around your shoulder, half tangled in your hair, and there’s another arm tucked around your waist from behind - Santi's.

Pressing a kiss to Will’s collarbone, you gently begin the process of extracting yourself, apologizing with soft squeezes instead of words. Their hands find each others in their sleep, and you almost think you made it, for once, before Will’s blue eyes find yours for just a moment. It happens every morning – they need to know you’re okay.

Verifying the time, he gives a bleary smile before rolling, free arm searching for a pillow to hold against his body in your place during the precious few minutes he has before he needs to get up, too.

Frankie is in the kitchen already, and of all of them, he’s the best at hearing your quiet footsteps. His arms wrap around your frame, gathering you into him as he relishes the feeling of just you and him, for a moment.

Your nails run over his back, and he shudders at the feeling, smiling at you a little as the two of you pull things out of the fridge. It’s unreasonable, how many groceries you all go through, but feeding them is important to you, a love language in itself. Frankie was the first awake – his coffee is already brewing. In half an hour, give or take, Will and Santi will wander out, and the smells in the kitchen will change, but not yet.

For now, it’s dark roast coffee and there are quiet crunches of the apple you tossed into his broad palm. It’s not enough for the whole day so you tuck a breakfast bar into his work bag for later, with and extra jacket and a water bottle. There’s no need for notes, with him, the slow kisses he shares with you at the door are more than enough to bring him home to you in the evening. Before he can give up his time with you his hand slips under the shirt you’re wearing, just running over your bare side like he has all the time in the world.

Then his hat is firmly on his head, and he brushes his rough thumb over your cheek, looks at the stairs to the bedroom with just a touch of longing, and slides out the door.

You’re mixing peanut butter into a premade jar of overnight oats when Will wraps his arms around you from behind, pressing his warm chest against your back. He’s tired – more than the others, and you let him borrow your strength for long moments. Santi watched from the doorway, giving them too you, his eyes fiercely affectionate, before he sandwiches Will between you half crushing you with their weight.

Laughter is a good way to start the day, even if it breaks the quiet.

They bump into each other, happy, but silently arguing over who’s turn it is, before Santi relents and slips off to the shower. When you hand Will the jar, he kisses your temple before your mouth, and his hand is firm on your hip. He makes you eat with him, would make you pancakes if he had time, and asks what you’re working on today. His fingers flip the pen in his hand, but he’s too distracted by you to work through the paper like he did before. It’s new, all of you sharing the same space, and there are pros and cons.

Then they trade places and Santi's body is damp and insistent as he kisses you, a little too needy for a man who has less than twenty minutes before he has to leave. You cant really deny him, though, indulging his touching while exploring him in turn, before pushing his distractingly bare chest away from you. He talks about his day a lot, considering it hasn’t happened yet, but his passion is contagious. He isn’t planning on telling you, but he fixed a bug on your laptop last night before he went to bed, and hid your favorite chocolate in your desk.

The kitchen smells like juice and granola now, and the ache of waking up is seeping out of your limbs.

When Benny comes out, you expect him to complain about the noise, but he doesn’t, just ruffles his hair and hugs Santi sleepily from behind.

His energy hasn’t quite built for the day, but he cant really sleep in like he wants to, and likes to see them off. He was restless last night, you could tell even with Santi between you on the bed, and you wonder if he relaxed at all. You give them space, retreating to get yourself ready and set up in your home office, pausing to send Will off with kisses and well wishes. When he forgets his timing and kissed down your neck, you hook your fingers in to his belt loops and he almost calls in sick.

It doesn’t happen, though, he’s too responsible without extra encouragement, and his eyes crinkle as he promises to continue, later.

Then it’s Santi and Benny’s turn, looking silly with the former prepared for tedious meetings and the other in his pajama's with a duffle bag, but that’s how it goes, sometimes.

When Benny finishes at the gym, he finds you working away, lost in your music, and hovers at the door for awhile before his eagerness for you wins out. His hands are needy, but he doesn’t say words – his eyebrows speak for him and you nearly give in to his big, pleading eyes.

He likes it when you run your hands through his hair, and you do, and press a promise into his cheek with your lips. You know today isn’t a day he wants to plan fights or check emails or update his socials, but he gets to it anyway, waiting for you, and needed to feel productive. They’re all too smart, beautifully, wonderfully overpowered with strength and mind and love and you know they cant help but direct it somewhere, Benny included.

As you finish your work for the morning your phone tells you the others are meeting up for lunch, and you thank them individually for the chance to give Ben a little extra attention.

Last night’s fight hadn’t gone great. The four of you had rallied behind him afterwards, patching him up while Santi yelled about justice and Frankie forced him to eat and drink, but now was time for something different. You were the center of this world they’d created, the one who’s undivided attention meant everything to them.

Ben rarely wanted to talk about the pain, during, needed to punch it out at the gym or be soothed by Santi's validation before seeking you for heated, slightly painful kisses. Now, though, he’s frustrated with himself, and seeing it hurts in your chest like the cut across his skin.

You settle onto the huge bed in his corner, offering him your arms and a smile that soothes the throbbing in his bruises. This is a moment just for the two of you, and he takes full advantage, tucking his head onto the pillow of your chest and letting your hands wander his shoulders and hair and neck. Ben starts out ranting, but gets distracted along the way, soaking in your attention and the sliver of skin exposed on your stomach.

He kisses along the line, unable to resist half smiling at you as he licks it, almost losing himself to the temptation to go a round with you all on his own. They wouldn’t mind, really, but he doesn’t, just shifts back up to press your mouth against his. It’s slower and it’s nice for him not to have to be intense, with you.

The afternoon is spent quietly, both of you working diligently, knowing the others are doing the same, so you can cherish your precious free evening. You find a note from Frankie, a little inside joke that he knows will remind you of a story, and it makes you text him something that will make him laugh.

At some point Santi calls you, frustrated, needing to verbal process, and the three of you on speaker phone navigate it with the gusto of heroes on a fantastical adventure. Will’s logic is absent with him, but you get the feeling it hardly matters, this time around. In truth, Ben is better at working the tightness out of Santi’s voice, and when you talk, you can hear him sigh like you’ve scrubbed a bit of darkness out of his day.

When he gets home his mood is much improved and he picks Benny up with a grunt, spinning him around once, thick arms careful of the younger man’s sore spots. You get an equally soft kiss, and you smack him when he squeezes your ass, a glint in his eye.

There’s still a bit of shyness in Ben as he asks Pope to look over the videos from the fight, still a bit of awe and raw respect for the older man, and it makes you melt a little to see. The men are tentative sometimes, about the developments in their relationships with each other, but some things needn’t change.

The couch is nice, a recent purchase, and you have a matching chair you like to settle in, mostly ignoring the distant voices and glancing out the window through the leaves of a large tree in the front yard. There’s a story on your phone you’ve been meaning to catch up on, and it’s peaceful, reading as the clouds float by.

There’s sounds of tires rolling over the gravel, and it makes you laugh when you open the door to see Ironhead and Catfish carrying no less than a small crate of take-out from Benny’s favorite Italian place. Unpacking it, Will spends more time invading your space, catching up, and flirting with you than Frankie does. He would never say it aloud, but he’s excited to see the reaction to their surprise.

He gets a perfect one – Benny yells when he smells it, and is jumping up and down, and the way Frankie’s chest puffs tells you it was his idea. Will gives you a squeeze and you know he’s proud, too, if for different reasons. He takes the moment of distraction, while the attention is on his brother, to slip his hand in your back pocket and kiss you without anyone noticing. If he had his way, he would yank you into the laundry room, but the idea of eating together keeps your feet planted and he sighs against your mouth.

The boys eat like they’re starved, before they’re grabbing at you, coaxing you into the living room, and you’re beyond thankful there’s not really dishes to do. It’s not that they would make you do them, but it’s nice for all of you to be able to ride out the remarkably low-effort evening.

Santi is insistent it’s his turn – the others have all had their time with you today, and only Will grumbles. They compromise, your legs over the later, your side in the protective hallow of the formers chest. You choose a movie at random, knowing they’ll talk through it if you do. It’s nice, to listen to them banter from the cozy arms wrapped around you.

They get caught up talking about an old friend you’ve never met, and Frankie tries to explain things to you as they rapid-fire stories and bets on where he is now. You roll your eyes when you lose track again and again, but it’s full of joy, and he catches it before getting pulled into a ridiculous debate.

Hands run over your calves, gently kneading, and you wonder if Will even knows he’s doing it – taking care of you is his second nature.

The film is finished but the talking hasn’t, now moved on to the inaccuracies in the movie as they try to outdo each other with random useless knowledge. There’s no real annoyance in their voices as they bite at each other, and you think that really, nothing has changed, and it’s good.

At some point you doze off.

There’s hushed arguing, and Frankie wins, scooping you into his sturdy arms and carrying you to bed. He likes the way you murmur your thanks, and his heart pounds as you sleepily pull off his hat and toss it somewhere. It makes him feel like you knew it was him, could feel it was, even in your mostly unconscious state. It’s a nice feeling, and he tucks it away in his mind, hoping to save it for if ever he get’s jealous.

The sleeping arrangements are a mess – Will has tried multiple times to make cohesive charts, and none of them stick. It’s a tangle of limbs and everyone shifts depending on temperature and general neediness. Santi laments the choice of a movie over a long evening of unhurried lovemaking, and receives and smack on the stomach in return. It makes you wake, halfway, and when your arms reach for him, he forgets his previous complaints.

They settle at their own pace, quiet conversations floating in and out of your dreams, and the sounds of teeth being brushed and plans being made make you smile. Tomorrow maybe, you’ll be up without a thought, awake and talking or kissing with whoever else didn’t need as much sleep, but for now, you didn’t mind. It was just day, with many before and many to come.

taglist:

@fangirl-316 @scribbledghost @writeforfandoms @beautyagegoodnesssize @princess76179 @mrsbentallmadge

#triple frontier #poly frontier #i guess?#i don't know how to tag this #will miller x reader #santiago garcia x reader #francisco morales x reader #ben miller x reader #maybe i don't know people

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frenchpuppycormier · 3 years

Note

HI ZOË!!! angst #16 for that sentence starter post if you're still up for some writing. i love getting my feelings hurt 🤡

"Are you hurt?"

"No."

"Then why are there bruises all over your face?"

—

Kara doesn't have a mean bone in her body.

She waves at every animal she sees on her daily walks and patrols at night. She gives and gives to people without expecting anything in return. When someone is having a bad day or just really needs to talk, she listens, even criminals. Most of them aren't any different than the average person, they simply were dealt the wrong hand. She's extremely loyal and doesn't take anything personally. One time, Kara saved a fly that was trapped in a spider's web.

So yeah, Kara doesn't have a mean bone in her body. Which is why today is such an anomaly.

She's in the kitchen still dressed in her navy chinos and baby pink button up with palm trees from when she came home from work. Andrea made her rewrite an article thrice, Jeremy from accounting had broken the copier machine and politely asked for her help in fixing it, she stopped a bank robbery a few blocks down from CatCo when she realized the police wouldn't get there in time, and to top it all off she unwillingly skipped lunch after someone stole her sandwich from the staff fridge.

To say she was exhausted and starving was an understatement. Changing into her pajamas meant she had to walk all the way to the bedroom and Kara was too lazy, even for superspeed.

As she stirs her homemade tomato sauce she taps her phone screen and checks the time. 6:35 pm. Frowning, Kara doesn't see any missed messages or calls from Lena letting her know she's going to be late.

She shrugs to herself and thinks Lena must've gotten caught up in her lab and lost track of time. It happens more often than not, and Kara doesn't think it'll ever change, much to her chagrin. It's bad enough Lena forgets to eat lunch most days, but to continuously forget her phone and watch in her office? Kara knows her wife's a workaholic, but she wasn't aware until now, the fourth night this week, that it was getting this bad.

Kara strains the pasta and cuts the garlic bread while periodically stirring the sauce and checking her phone. She decides to finally turn on some music when the silence of the penthouse becomes too stifling and daunting.

She's in the middle of dancing to ABBA and plating the food when she hears a familiar heartbeat walking down the hall. Kara tries not to listen to it too often—she doesn't want Lena to feel like her privacy has been invaded—but sometimes she can't help it. Her wife's heartbeat is one of the most soothing sounds she's ever heard, and ever since she heard it for the first time, she's just been naturally drawn to it, like a moth to a flame.

Kara smiles as she hears it get closer until Lena's opening the door and walking through. "Hey, babe! I'm in the kitchen!" she yells, her energetic voice reverberating throughout the house.

There's no verbal response like there usually is, which is the first warning sign. The second is when Lena walks by—she has to in order to go to their room—it's with quick steps and careful avoidance. But Kara's been able to read her like a book since they've known each other, and she knows something's amiss by the way Lena doesn't even greet her with a kiss. She always does.

"Lena?"

Her wife stops frozen in her tracks, head angled down, hair covering her face like a curtain. Lena's heart ticks up a beat, leaving Kara wildly concerned.

"Lena?" she steps around the island and stands in front of her. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she mumbles.

Kara tilts her head to make eye contact, but Lena moves her head so she can't. "Then why won't you let me look at you?"

"It's nothing, I-I'm fine."

"And why does that not convince me?" Kara sighs. Lena doesn't move a muscle and she keeps quiet. "Are you hurt?"

"No." She still shows no signs of moving. It's like she's decided her next career move is becoming one of those marble sculptures at the museum people love to gawk at.

"Lena...you're scaring me." She tentatively reaches out and grasps Lena's fingers, tremendously thankful when she doesn't pull away. If there's one thing her wife is bad at, it's letting people in. But she also knows when she's feeling stressed or overwhelmed that holding her hand relaxes and grounds her. "Please..."

Finally, after standing there in an awkward and probably painful way with the way Lena's neck is positioned, she slowly looks up. Kara audibly gasps when she sees her, and what she sees ignites a fire in her chest and a fury in her eyes. "If you're not hurt, then why are there bruises all over your face?"

"Kara.."

"Lena," she breathes and lifts her hands to gently cup her face, tears pooling in her eyes. Her breathing is significantly more ragged than before, and she mentally takes note of why that is. "What happened?"

"It's nothing," she repeats.

Kara frowns and backs away, crossing her arms. "Who did this to you?"

"Please, Kara. I don't want to make a big deal—"

"Who?" her voice is lower and angrier, sending chills down Lena's back. She grits her teeth, "Lena, tell me who did this to you now, so I can kill them."

"Kara, this isn't you," she reaches forward to calm her down, but Kara starts pacing.

"The hell it isn't!" Kara exclaims, fists clenching at her sides. "My wife was beaten for all I know, and she's acting like it's just another day at the office!" she gestures at Lena, exasperatedly. "How would you expect me to act?"

Lena flinches at her tone.

Kara notices, because she always notices when Lena's in distress, and she deflates. "Lena, you're the love of my life, my person, and when you're hurt I can't help how I act. I'm sorry if I seem like I'm overreacting or if I'm yelling, but it's you." She walks back into her space and places her hands over Lena's face, thumbs lightly grazing her cheekbones, careful not to bump her wounds. "It's you," she whispers.

Lena swallows thickly, and when she speaks her voice is soft and afraid. "It was an accident."

"Did someone do this to you?" Kara's jaw clenches as she lets go. She doesn't stray far though, crossing her arms in front of her chest to try and calm down.

"Kara, no," Lena sighs, tears pooling in her eyes. "I...I did it to myself."

"What?" Kara's arms drop to her sides. "What are you talking about?"

"I was in a board meeting," she clears her throat. "Um...I was presenting a new prototype for...for," Lena shakes her head and frowns tensely. She rubs her eyes with tight fists and with a shaky breath, she cries, "Kara, I—I can't remember!"

Kara steps forward and grasps her hands. "Hey, it's okay. Take your time." She rubs soothing circles over her knuckles with her thumbs.

Lena takes a deep breath and tries again. "I was in a board meeting, and I vaguely recall getting a terrible migraine. Everything after that is fuzzy," she sniffles and takes her hands back to wipe her eyes. "Jess said I fell and hit my head on the table on the way down."

Kara inhales shakily, "What?"

"I had a seizure, I guess," she says it with a slight lilt at the end like it's a question she doesn't want answered. "Uh, it lasted about five minutes until the paramedics arrived. They said I was lucky I wasn't doing something else, like driving. It could've been a lot worse."

"Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't anyone call me?," Kara looks at her with pleading but sorrowful eyes.

"I didn't want you to worry."

"We promised each other, remember?" squeezes her hands. "For better or worse," she says with all the conviction she has. Kara kisses her knuckles and asks, "What did the doctors say?"

Lena sniffles and bows her head. "They ran all these tests on me, but couldn't find anything serious as to why I had a seizure. It could be any number of things, but they can't really do anything for me until I have another one," she looks up at her wife, lips wobbling.

"Kara, I'm scared," she whispers. "This is—" her words catch in her throat, and it's hard for her to breathe. "This is—my mom," she cries hysterically, covering her mouth with her hands, "This is how my mom died, she—she had a seizure while she was in the lake and she drowned. I can't—I can't believe this is—this is happening," she hiccups into another sob.

"Shhh," Kara envelops her in a hug and rubs soothing hands along her back. Lena bawls uncontrollably into her neck, hands gripped tightly to the back of Kara's shirt. "I'm so sorry, Lena," she kisses her on the head and murmurs into her hair, "We're gonna figure this out, I promise."

"What if I have what she had?" Lena questions, voice muffled and watery. "Kara...I don't wanna die," her mind begins to fill with thousands of different scenarios and she spirals into a panic, her whole body shaking, "I don't wanna die, Kara!"

"Honey, no," Kara hugs her tighter, as much as she can without harming her, then pulls back and kisses her on the forehead. She pointedly looks into her eyes when she says, "You're not dying. Okay? Not today, not anytime soon, alright?" Lena's face is red and splotchy. She tries to reign in control of her emotions, and she exhales a shaky breath while managing to give a slight nod. "Good. We'll figure out what's wrong with you, and if we can't do that here, then...we'll go to Argo. Their advances in science are way ahead of Earth's, and if that's not enough then I'll personally travel to other earths or other planets until I find a solution. You're not going anywhere if I have anything to say about it."

"Promise?"

Kara palms the underside of her jaw and rests their foreheads together, Lena's puffs of breath hitting her lips. "I promise," she presses their lips together in a chaste kiss and mumbles, "I love you." Kara kisses her again, "More than anything."

"I love you, too," Lena replies and buries her face in Kara's chest, her arms wrapped around her waist tight and what would be restricting if not for Kara’s invulnerable body. A calming minute passes for them in the aftermath of Lena's breakdown, when Lena quietly asks, "Is something burning?"

Lena feels her wife stiffen in her arms. "Shit!"

She pulls back and raises her eyebrows curiously, an amused glint in her eyes as she asks, "Did you just swear?"

Kara extracts herself from Lena's hold and stutters, "N-no, I said sh-sheet," she fumbles over to the stove and turns off the burner. Kara leans over the pot and frowns at the wreckage.

Lena chuckles with such fondness it's almost like their previous conversation has been forgotten. Kara beams at the sound, one of the reasons she fell in love with Lena in the first place; that girl can make laughter sound like music. Even her out-of-control snort laughs are adorable. At least to Kara's ears.

"There's no point in denying it, love, I heard you loud and clear," Lena smirks and joins her in the kitchen, poking her in the side. Kara squeals and feigns hurting by falling to the floor dramatically.

Lena playfully rolls her eyes and holds out her hand. "Baby, get up, the floor is a mess." Kara easily obeys and jumps to her feet with barely any help from Lena. "I married a weirdo," she shakes her head.

"Do you regret it?"

"Never," Lena states firmly. "You're my weirdo, forever."

"I like the sound of that," Kara blushes. Even after being married for five years, and knowing each other even longer, Lena still possesses the ability to fluster Kara on a daily basis.

"C'mon, let's order Chinese."

"You're speaking my language!" Kara kisses Lena on the nose and watches with pure affection as it scrunches. She grabs the takeout menu from the junk drawer before twining her fingers through Lena's and snuggling with her on the couch.

No matter her diagnosis, not matter the outcome, Lena will be more than okay with Kara by her side.

#half of this was written with an edible in my system #so i apologize if it doesn't make sense #lasdkjfldskjf #prompt ask #supercorp #supercorp fic #a lot of angst #but also PURE FLUFF

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itsallyscorner · 3 years

Note

Oooh, Tom x reader request idea

Reader colored her hair or is wearing a wig just for fun and paparazzi pictures are taken from the back when they’re together so it looks like Tom’s cheating on reader and even reader gets freaked out at first but they have a laugh about it in the end

Thank you for the request darling! I’m so sorry it took so long for me to do. While celebrating the holidays then going back to school, I’ve been busy😭 But thank you again, and enjoy!💞

💌.

Ginny

If you’re a redhead I’m sorry😭 I couldn’t think of any other characters and this came to mind.

The harsh light peaking in from behind the curtains made you groan. You threw the comforter over your head and blocked the sun from your eyes. Tom shifted beside you, tightening his arm around your bare waist and pulling you closer into his chest. He emitted a light “humph” and snuggled into the back of your neck. The slight ache in your head made you squeeze your eyes shut, trying to ease the pain. You kept your eyes closed till the ache subsided, trying to remember a single thing that happened last night.

Honestly, the whole night was a complete blur. All you remembered was that Tom, Harrison, and Harry had persuaded you into joining them at the local pub near your shared place for a quiz night. At first you didn’t want to go; you loved the lads but when it came to a game or something that tested their wits, they were intolerably competitive. Game nights with them usually ended with: Harry crying in frustration, Tom on the verge of committing murder, Harrison turning furiously red in anger, and Tuwaine yelling at someone for screwing up the game. Game nights were just a mess.

You were hoping for a quiet night alone at the house, but no such luck, Tuwaine had plans with his girlfriend. Which meant all three men came to you to fill up his spot.

“Please (y/n), we need four people in our group to go.” Harry begged, resting his head on your shoulder and looking up at you with puppy eyes. Tom stood in front of you, using his body to block the tv, and diverting your attention to him.

“Guys, why can’t it just be the three of you?” You questioned the men surrounding you.

“Because the pub said it has to be in groups of four and we believe you’ll be a perfect addition to our team.” Harrison answered from your left side. A cheeky grin on his face.

Tom could tell by your features that you still weren’t convinced on going. He uncrossed his arms and kneeled in front of you on the couch. He leaned forward and wrapped his arms around your waist, putting his weight on your lap and placing his chin on your chest.

Looking up at you with his soft brown eyes he said, “Please come with us, I promise it’ll be fun. You won’t regret it, darling.”

Your lips pursed together in thought while your eyes panned between the three of them, “You guys know how you all get during game nights.”

Tom huffed, his breath causing strands of your hair to move from your face.

“I know—we all know. But we promise to be on our best behavior. Plus, we’ll be on the same team, no competition.” Your boyfriend reassured you, his thumbs drawing circles onto your hips.

Harry snorted, “Yeah, besides the other five to seven teams we’re up against.”

“Oh, we’re winning. We got these two on the team.” Harrison bragged motioning to you and Tom.

“I didn’t agree yet.” You objected, holding your finger up.

“Yet.” Tom repeated, emphasizing the word.

Harrison nudged your shoulder, “Come on, (y/n)! We’ll have a great time. We might even win a free happy hour if we win the quiz.”

Harry shimmied beside you, “And what do we say about free drinks in this house?”

You rolled your eyes, defeated, “Never turn down a free drink.” The boys cheered around you, hyping you up.

“Come on, baby.” Tom encouraged you, hopeful eyes remaining on yours. You sigh, throwing your head back against the couch.

“Fine, I’ll go.” A round of cheers filled the room once again. Harrison and Harry squeezed you into a hug, sandwiching you in between them. When they pullled away, Tom gathered you into his arms and lifted you up.

“YES! I LOVE YOU!” He squealed happily, repeating that he loved you and pressing multiple kisses all over your face.

Well you guys must’ve won the pub quiz last night because the last thing you can clearly remember was entering the pub and the first two rounds of the quiz. The topic of last night’s quiz was Harry Potter; both being huge fans of the series, you and Tom completely breezed through the quiz, getting most of the questions (that you can remember) correct.

A buzz came from your phone, followed by another buzz, and another. The sudden movement of your phone made you peak your head from under the covers. Squinting from the light, you blindly reached for your phone and brought it under the comforter with you. When your eyes were fully adjusted to your screen you saw there were two texts from your cousin.

Tf is this?

Sent Photo ⃞

Your brows knitted together at the message. Curiously, you slide on the notification and open iMessages. The picture downloads and you see that it’s Tom, wearing glasses, black pants, and a grey knit sweater. Although on his arm, latched a redhead wearing similar attire as him but with a tight skirt instead of pants. There were a few more pictures attached. Some where Tom wrapped his hand around the mystery person’s waist and another with him kissing her face.

Your heart’s pace quickened as you glanced at the man cuddled beside you. Your eyes shift back to the phone; that definitely wasn’t you. But at the same time, you had no recollection of anything that happened after drinks were handed out. You stared at the pictures again, an expression on your face that resembled something along the lines of a scowl and a look of confusion. You really didn’t know what happened last night. You zoomed into the pictures, trying to get a proper look at the woman’s face, but to no avail, her face was either not in the shot or Tom was in the way.

You force yourself up into a sitting position and harshly smack Tom’s arm. He immediately startles awake; jumping into his senses making the bed shake. His arms tighten around your waist, pulling you closer. He looks around the room for some kind of threat but saw nothing. He did another scan around the room before looking up at you with wide eyes.

“Were you the one who slapped me?” He groggily asked, ducking into your side when the sun’s light connected with his eyes.

“Oh I don’t know, maybe ask that redhead you were hanging out with outside of the pub.” You retorted, still glaring at your phone. The tone of your voice causes Tom to whip his head from your side. A quizzical look is on his face as he thought back to the previous night. Surprisingly, he didn’t get as drunk last night. For once, he was one of the sober ones. You, on the other hand, were another story. Though he didn’t blame you for going on a drinking spree, work had been stressing you out and you barely got any leisure time.

“Huh—baby, what are you on about?” His voice is deep and rough from sleep. Sexy, but right now his voice was the least of your worries.

“What redhead? The only redhead that was there was—“ He couldn’t finish his sentence because you were shoving your phone in his face.

“This one?” Tom whines and leaned his head back to get a better look. When he saw the picture on your phone, his eyes slowly panned to you. Your arms were crossed and a scowl was on your pretty face. You were pretty even when you were angry.

“Did the drinks really fuck you up that much?” He wondered out loud, a hint of amusement in his words. He took your phone and began swiping through the pictures with a grin on his face.

You felt the blood in your body boil while your boyfriend looked through the pictures of that woman with a stupid smile on his face. You snatched the phone from him, “Well maybe, because who the fuck is this chick?”

“Are you jealous?” He teased you, poking your side. You slapped his finger away and glared at him.

“Oh I don’t know, a woman I barely know is hanging on my boyfriend’s arm! I’m not jealous—I’m just—a concerned girlfriend who wants to know what the hell happened last night.” You crossed your arms again, proud of the excuse you made up. Though, you really did want to know what happened last night.

“Darling, that’s literally you.” Tom pointed out, finally bursting out laughing. The scowl was wiped off your face and replaced with a look of confusion. Tom rested his head back on his pillow and watched you look through the pictures again. Your brows were scrunched together and a pout was on your lips, tempting him to press a kiss onto them. His arms slithered around your waist again, pulling you down so you were laying down against him.

“(Y/n), I’m serious that’s you. Do you really not remember?” Tom adjusted himself to place your head on his chest. Your lips were pursed together, eyes still trained on your phone screen.

“But my ass does not look that good from the back.” You muttered, zooming in on said area. Tom snorted and pinched your ass cheek, “You’d be surprised, lovey.”

It was quiet between you two while you continued to study the pictures. Tom said it was you, but it really didn’t look like you from behind.

“Remember it was Harry Potter night? Harry thought it would be a fun idea to dress up as the characters, so we ended up going as Harry and Ginny.” He reminded you, softly brushing tangles out of your hair with his fingers. Your mouth went slack as realization set in.

“Oh my God, yes!” You exclaimed leaning up on your elbows to look up at him. There was a hint of humor in his eyes and a lazy grin was set on his lips.

“How could I forget that I was wearing a wig? Where is that damn thing?” You leaned over Tom’s body and began to look over the bed to get a glimpse of the floor. Tom chuckled motioning to your makeup desk in his room. You find the desk and, lo and behold, was the red almost orange wig in all its glory. You shook your head at yourself and at the slow moment you were going through.

You turn back to Tom, “Honestly, what the fuck?” The two of you bursted out laughing, the sounds of your joy filling the room.

“I feel so stupid.” You groaned, shoving your face into Tom’s chest. He let out a giggle, thinking over what just happened in his head again. His large palm smooths circles onto your back, slowly making you doze off again.

“Don’t be, you were drunk as hell last night. I didn’t expect you to be in the right state of mind so early in the morning.” He reassured you, pressing feather light kisses along your head.

You hummed, getting lazy to respond.

“I’m sorry for getting too drunk.”

Tom shook his head, “No, you deserve to have a few shots and a generous amount of pints. I know work’s been hectic and then we all dragged you out on your free night; it’s the least we can do, seeing as we disturbed your down time.”

You shrugged, “I actually enjoyed going—well from what I can remember. I had a really good time.” You move your head to look at him, “Please tell me I didn’t do anything ridiculous.”

A smile was instantly on Tom’s face, “My favorite was when Harry kept on bringing you drinks and you started to believe that he was a house elf. So you started calling him Dobby.”

“Is that all?” You asked before drifting off to sleep. A faint smile on your lips.

Tom snickered, “You tried to offer him your sock.”

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belphies-cuhm-sluht · 3 years

Text

Vacation (Belphie x GN!Reader) Slight NSFW

(Did I go extra hard on the beach fic? Yes. Yes I did. Are my posting hours absolutely horrid... also yes. It's 3:30AM and I finally finished this fic though! YAY! I also did not read through this before I posted. I'll read it when I wake up to check for mistakes. I need a nap.)

Word Count : 5.1K

You loved the beach, everything about it was so relaxing. The sound of the waves crashing onto the shore, the smell of saltwater that was carried to your nose with the ocean’s breeze. The only thing that made being there right now better was the fact that Belphie was there with you. You loved Belphie, everything about him screamed perfection, even though he disagreed most of the time you said he was. His disregard for most of humanity aside from yourself, his constant scowl which he probably thought was menacing and scary but you just found it adorable.

It was shocking at first that he actually agreed to go with you, and you thought for sure that he’d want to stay home and just sleep while, but, much to your surprise, he jumped at the opportunity to go to the beach with you. He even said that it would be fun, which… well he wasn’t wrong… but hearing him say something like that… even if it was mumbled, it was kind of shocking.

“You got a room… in a hotel… that’s on the beach… with a balcony that overlooks the beach?” Belphie said, looking around the room as the two of you walked in. As soon as the door was shut, you dropped your bags to the floor and ran to the balcony doors, throwing them open and running out to lean over the railing with Belphie following close behind and quickly wrapping his arms around you. “Don’t do that. You could have flipped over the edge… dork.”

You could only laugh at his worry, but then again, according to him you were fragile, and humans were inherently clumsy most of the time, so you didn’t really blame him for thinking that you’d accidentally lean too far over and do a front flip over the railing… but it was still kind of funny. “I’m not going to fall over the edge, Belph. I’ve done this a lot. And…” You turned in his arms so you could wrap your own around his waist. “Yes, a balcony with an ocean view. The weather said there would be a thunderstorm this week, and I’m hoping they’re right. I love watching the lightning hit the water… the thunder is so loud. It’s amazing.” He chuckled softly, rolling his eyes as he grabbed your hand and dragged you back into the room, not wanting to leave you on the balcony unattended any longer.

“The storm better not hit until the last day. I want to go surfing.” He said as he grabbed his own bag off the floor and moved it onto the bed, quickly pulling out his bathing suit. You were stuck on the whole surfing thing though because… well… it doesn’t need to be explained. It’s just fucking hot. He snapped his fingers to get your attention after you hadn’t responded, rolling his eyes when you blinked a few times and focused back on him. “You alright? You zoned out for a second there.”

“Mhm… I’m good.” You whispered shyly, dragging your own bags away from the door so you could pull out your own bathing suit. “It’s a good time to go down… everyone is clearing out for the day and the sun isn’t going to be beating as hard.” You weren’t really sure if he was listening, you could still hear him rummaging through his own bag as you talked. You were mainly talking to yourself though, looking up out the balcony doors and watching as the umbrellas on the beach slowly dwindled as everyone started heading back to their own hotels.

“You still need sunscreen.” It actually sounded like he was scolding you, and it wouldn’t be the first time he called your ass out for not wearing it. “I’m not having you get burnt on our first day here. You’ll spend the rest of the vacation in pain, and then I’ll have to hold back from saying I told you so because you won’t be in the mood to hear it. Plus…” He tossed the sunscreen onto the bed that was closest to you before squatting down behind you, trailing his fingers along your neck and down your shoulders. “If you got burnt… you wouldn’t enjoy me touching you as much…”

God damn if he wasn’t right, and you hated that he was right. “Hmph… fine.” You groaned, and honestly, you just hated the way the sunscreen felt. It made your arms stick to your sides and you just felt… sticky… and you could never get it off your hands after putting it on. It was a pain in the ass… but he was right, and you wouldn’t be able to enjoy anything if you got burnt, and you definitely weren’t going to spend an entire week in a nice ass hotel with an ocean view and not at least cuddle with him. “You’re putting it on me though.”

“I never said I wouldn’t.” He said it teasingly, kissing your neck before standing back up. “Go change. The waves look pretty good right now, I want to get down there.” He had already started pulling his shirt off and unbuttoning his shorts as you got up off the floor. It was one thing for him to change in front of the balcony doors, he didn’t really care if anyone saw him naked… But he didn’t want anyone else to see you that way. Only he could, and if someone did happen to see you that way, he’d have to kill them and then it would ruin the vacation and neither of you wanted that.

Of course he held your hand on the way down the beach. He wasn’t going to let anyone else look at you, and even if they did, they’d see that your hand was in his and you were his, so they better just fuck right off with their thoughts and their intentions because it isn’t going to happen and you aren’t going to do the things that they are thinking with anyone but him.

“I hate walking in the sand with flip flops…” You mumbled as your feet sunk into the sand with every step, struggling to take steps because the sand kept basically absorbing your flip flop which is the most annoying shit.

“You could always go barefoot.” He said, as if you didn’t already know that… but also walking barefoot on the beach after the sun had been beating on it for hours wasn’t the most pleasant experience either.

“I’d rather not burn my feet… How close do you want to get to the water anyway? I usually stay close to the top so I don’t have to be around all the people.” Which was the truth. You hated being surrounded by other beach goers, and most of them smelt an awful lot like spray tan or beer or both. The ocean breeze would miraculously always start up whenever they were spraying their spray tans on and it would get in your eyes or your mouth, and you’d just rather not be anywhere near them. Plus… who puts on spray tan at the beach? Just lay in the sun. It’s easier and looks more real because it is real. Ugh… people.

“Close enough that I can still see you from the ocean. Right here should be good…” He stopped right at the middle of where the line of umbrellas started and where there was nobody. It was like an invisible line in the sand, and Belphie decided that he wanted his spot to be on both sides of it. He stuck the umbrella into the sand to mark the spot and you finally let yourself sit down before even putting down the towel. You were tired. Walking through the sand is a workout. “Don’t get too comfortable. You’re forgetting something.” He practically cooed the last part to you, and you knew exactly what he was talking about, but you wished that he had forgotten.

He started digging through the bag that you had loaded with drinks and snacks because the beach experience isn’t complete unless you’ve tried to eat a sandwich while a multitude of seagulls stand at the edge of your towel and squawk at you to feed them. (But you don’t because it’s not healthy for them. Please don’t feed the seagulls your food.) “I don’t need sunscreen. I’m just gonna be sitting under the umbrella the whole time.” He hummed softly, knowing that you were wrong. Who goes to the beach and sits under the umbrella the whole time? You knew that you weren’t going to, but damn… you really hated the feeling of sunscreen. It makes you cringe. Why is it so sticky????

You laid out the towel and decided that it would be pointless to even try to argue against him. He was right in the hotel room about the sunburn, and it wouldn’t be as bad if he was the one rubbing it on you. “I’m sure a little sunscreen is better than a sunburn…” He said as he squirted it onto his hands. “Lay down, I said I’d put it on you.” You quickly obliged, laying on your stomach and resting your head on your arms as he rubbed it together between his hands before placing them on your shoulders. The feeling sent a shiver through you, and you weren’t sure whether it was just because the sunscreen was cold or if it was his touch that made your body respond that way. “You’re cute… relax babe… this isn’t the first time I’ve touched you.” He teased as his hands made their way down your back, squeezing your sides lightly before rubbing slowly over your entire back and then working down to your legs. Luckily your face was hidden in your arms so he couldn’t see your blushing. His touch was doing things to you that you knew you couldn’t act upon on the beach so it would probably be a while before you got up anyway. “Alright, roll over.” He didn’t really wait for you to roll over, taking it upon himself to do it and then smiling smugly when he saw the flustered look on your face.

“I think I’m just gonna…. Stay here for a little bit… while you go out and…” He had already started running his hands over your chest which had made your sentence get cut short. It would be too noticeable that he was making you flustered if you just covered your face now, so you tried to keep calm as his hands continued to work. You let out a gasp as his thumbs accidentally flicked over your nipples, a quiet hum escaping him as he watched them perk up. “Belphie…” You whined, but he only laughed in response, moving his hands lower until they were at your hips. Your eyes grew wider, and he knew exactly why, and for a second you thought he’d just tease you more, but he knew that if he did that you’d just be begging him to take you back to the room and those activities were for later.

He had finally finished, and part of you wished that he hadn’t because obviously you loved having his hands on you like that, but also you were in public and it couldn’t go any further than that either. “So do you want to go down there with me or do you need a minute?” He joked as he got up, grabbing his surfboard and holding it under his arm. “Would you rather me stay up here wi-”

“You can go! I just… Just need a second.” Your voice cracked as you said it, further accentuating just how flustered he had made you. You ran your hands over your face and sighed, to which he laughed at. “Don’t laugh, it’s not funny.” You grumbled. You were now thoroughly turned on, it was hot out, you were covered in sunscreen, and he looked really good standing above you like that.

“It actually is really funny. I’ll meet you down there… oh wait… hold up…” He leaned over, booping your nose with his pointer finger which still had sunscreen on it. You wrinkled your nose at him, sticking your tongue out before rolling over onto your stomach. “Aww, you’ll thank me for it later when your nose is sunburn free and not peeling.” He started walking off, that much you could tell as the sun that he had been blocking finally hit your back.

It didn’t take too long for you to gain back your composure. Now that he was off walking down to the ocean, you could actually focus on calming down and relaxing in the sun that was practically baking you because the umbrella wasn’t blocking out anything now that the sun was setting. The sound of the waves crashing against the shore and the warmth of the sun against your skin had you close to dozing off, but you wanted to see him, you wanted to watch him, so you fought off the urge to fall asleep and pushed yourself up off the towel and started heading down.

The beach had almost completely cleared out aside from the few people who, much like yourself and Belphie, wanted to enjoy it without the screaming children who’d run through the sand and kick it back onto the towels and bodies of unsuspecting people. It was a lot calmer during the evening, and Belphie had a lot of room to do what he wanted to do. Not a lot of people here actually surfed, it was mainly people boogie boarding close to the shore line and riding the smallest waves inland. You on the other hand, you didn’t use a board at all, instead wading out into the deepest part of the ocean until your feet could barely touch the floor, and then when a wave came, you’d jump and ride that shit up to the shore… or get knocked out completely and wash up on the shore looking like you’ve just seen death itself. Either way it’s a blast, and boards held no appeal to you… BUT…

Belphie on the board was a completely different story though. There was something about… him in general that made you so fascinated. Your eyes were basically glued to him, watching intently as he got onto his board and started paddling out deeper. You saw the wave that he was going for, it was forming further back, almost on the horizon line and you knew that it would be huge, which is exactly what he was going for. Go big or go home was always his thing, whether it was with food, pranks against his brothers, and with this as well…clearly. Were you worried, even though you knew that as a demon, he couldn’t actually get severely hurt? Absolutely. He’d probably laugh at you later for worrying, but you also cared about him a lot, so could he blame you? Absolutely not.

You watched as the wave drew closer, and for a second you were beyond worried that it would just crush him since he was sitting there just wading in the water, but as it started closing in, he began paddling again, his board rising with the crest of the wave until he reached the top and stood up. Now, it’s not that you had never seen people surfing before, it’s just that everyone else was boring and you didn’t like them and they weren’t interesting, and they were just… people. Belphie was different. This was your demon and here he was absolutely fucking ripping it, and not only was was he doing it flawlessly, but he looked so fucking good doing it. You wanted to cheer for him, but you also didn’t want to throw him off or anything, so you let out a quiet “yay” as you continued watching. The wave crashed down and broke around him, pushing him closer to you and for a second you thought that he’d ride it all the way up to you, but then he saw you. He pointed at you, the typical finger guns, and then promptly decided to purposely fall back off his board, which made you gasp because like… what the fuck man? Why?

BUT ALSO GOD DAMN. When he reemerged from under the water, he looked fucking…. Hot. And not like, “oh shit it’s summertime and the sun is making things hot” kind of hot… no, it was “holy hell I need to get this man back into the hotel room before I fuck him right here on the beach” type hot, which is still an understatement because there is no way to actually capture the essence of how absolutely hot he is through words. He’s just fucking… hot. He quickly pushed back his hair which was soaked and hanging in his face, and now it was slicked back, which wasn’t a look that you’d usually go for, but on him, again… HOT.

Were you aware that you had been holding your breath as he walked up to you? Nope. But as soon as he reached you, you exhaled sharply and gave him a sheepish smile. “That was… you did… it was great…” You couldn’t think straight and you couldn’t form coherent sentences, and the way you were acting had that smug little smile returning to his face. He knew damn well the way you were feeling, the way he made you feel. He didn’t have to wait for you to fall asleep and see your dreams to know what you were thinking either. But he wasn’t going to let you have it that easily either, he was going to tease you and drag it out as long as he possibly could.

“Come on…” He grabbed your hand, pulling you out into the water which was freezing. It was so cold, your entire body kind of froze up as soon as it reached your mid calves. “It’ll be more cold if you try to slowly get used to it. Just dunk yourself under real quick.” He stopped pulling you long enough to watch you, and what he was suggesting was quite possibly the number one thing you didn’t want to do right now. “I can do it for you if you won’t do it yourself.” He coaxed, stepping a little closer to you. He was serious too, he’d dunk you, whether you were holding your nose or not.

“I-I got it… I can do it…” You mumbled, slowly lowering yourself and then shooting back up when the water reached an area that had been dry before. You could almost see the timer in his head ticking down to the moment where he’d just take over and sweep you off your feet in the most unromantic way just to get you used to the water faster. “Don’t look at me while I… You’re making me nervous!” It was a good excuse. He scoffed and turned away from you, humming the jeopardy song which only made you feel more rushed. “Shush! I’m doing it… I just need a second.”

“You’ve had many seconds. It’s gonna be dark soon.” He joked, tapping his fingers along the water as he started humming louder. You groaned loudly before taking a deep breath, holding your nose, and dropping under the water. And, not surprisingly, it was fucking freezing, and when you quickly pushed yourself back up, the breeze that had really picked up didn’t help… like at all. “There you go. It wasn’t that bad, was it?”

“No… it was worse.” He snorted softly, shaking his head. You couldn’t understand how he wasn’t fazed by it. Whenever he was in bed he’d complain about it being too cold when he was too lazy to reach down and grab his blankets… but swimming in an ice cube tray apparently doesn’t affect him. It made absolutely no sense, but… he looked happy, and he was having fun, and as numb as your body felt from the water, seeing him this way made you feel warm, at least in your heart, where it was important. “So why am I actually in the water right now?” You would have been perfectly fine staying just above where the waves broke, but he must have had something in mind.

“We’re tandem surfing.” He drummed his hands lightly on the board as he looked excitedly over at you as if you knew what that meant. He could see the confusion on your face though, and he sighed softly, pulling you closer to himself and the board. “You’re gonna be on the board with me.” That… sounded like a trainwreck waiting to happen. It would not go well, you knew that much. You wouldn’t be able to even sit on the board without wobbling, and you sure as hell wouldn’t be able to stand on it. “You’ll be fine.” He could see how put off by the idea of it you were. No amount of his arms wrapped around you would make flipping off a surfboard in the middle of a wave worth it.

“Mmmm… Nope… that’s not gonna… Nuh uh….” You were shaking your head quickly, trying to keep your footing even when you were flat on the ground as the waves crashed around you. They were strong, as was the current that was pulling you deeper into the ocean without you even realizing it. “I can just go stand back up there… I’ll watch you. That sounds like a good idea.” You nodded to yourself, turning to start walking away, but his arm was around your waist, holding you close against him and keeping you from walking away.

“I’m not gonna let you fall off. We’re not going far out… and we’re both sitting the whole time.” He murmured against your neck, knowing exactly what he was doing. “Plus… It’s cold out there… and I want to do this with you.” He made you so weak, it wasn’t fair at all. His fingers brushed lightly across your hip as his lips lingered against your skin. He was waiting for an answer, but he already knew what it would be, he just wanted to hear you say it, and he was having way too much fun teasing you like this. “Fine… just… hold it still.” His hand quickly moved away from your waist and he was wearing the biggest smile as he held the board in place as best he could. The waves crashing around it were the biggest issue, and every time you were about to jump up onto it, another wave would push it against you and make you stumble back. “Belphie… It’s not gonna work.” You whined, your head falling back as you sighed loudly.

“I’m holding it as still as I can, you just need to get on. I’ll tell you when, so the waves won’t knock you off.” He was being really persistent with it, which, in it’s own way, was kind of cute. Either he really wanted you on the board with him, or he really wanted to see you fall off. Sure, he liked you, but even you knew there was something… comical… about watching someone fall off a board… especially if they were just sitting. That’s even funnier. “If you do it… we can go right back to the hotel after we’re done… I know you want to do that.” He’s god damn right you want to do that. Not just for… reasons, but the thought of warm dry clothes and being under a blanket and cuddling with him sounded so amazing right now.

It was motivation enough for you to try again, timing your jump before the next wave came and then gripping onto the board like your life depended on it, because you really thought that it did, once you were on. “Okay…. Now what?” Your voice was kind of shaky, and really, you thought you should be rewarded with the hotel just for getting on the board alone. The waves were rocking you, and you felt like you were going to tip at any moment if Belphie let go, and you were really hoping that he wouldn’t, but when you turned to look at him, he was already behind you, getting ready to jump on the board. “Sh-Shouldn’t I be in the back…?” It was a pretty bad time to realize it considering you were already on it, but you still had time to jump off and switch positions.

“Oh… No. If you’re in the back, you’ll just hide your face in my back as soon as the wave starts pushing us, and that’s the best part.” He climbed onto the back of the board, scooting as close to you as possible. “Now hold on, okay? I’m gonna get us a little further out.” Your head whipped around to look at him, your eyes going wide. You were pretty sure he just said that you wouldn’t go out far, but now he’s saying he’s gotta get out further? He chuckled lightly, shaking his head as if he knew what you were thinking. “Not as far as I went. Just far enough to actually have a wave. The swells aren’t going to do much except rock us around a little bit.” He was already paddling out and your hold on the board turned into a death grip.

Once he felt like it was far enough out, he turned the board around, and that’s when you realized just how far you actually were. “I’m gonna die…” You whispered, which only made him laugh more, leaning in to kiss along your shoulder. “That’s not gonna make me feel better.” Your nails were practically digging into the board and your knuckles hurt from how tight you were holding it, but you didn’t really care, you just didn’t want to fall off.

“Oh, the waves coming! Hold on.” As if you weren’t already doing that, and you couldn’t possibly hold on any tighter than you already were. The wave began pushing you up, and you didn’t, not even for a second, enjoy the sensation of it. “Keep your eyes open.” His arms were wrapped tightly around you, and even with his urging, your eyes were shut as tight as possible, already prepared for when you’d fall off. You didn’t want salt water in your eyes, it burned, it hurt, and you were like 99.5% sure that you’d be falling off at some point.

His arms stayed wrapped around you, as tight as possible, ensuring that you wouldn’t fall off the board and you were beyond thankful for that. In a strange way, it didn’t last that long, but at the same time it felt like you were riding the wave forever. You had opened your eyes once, but the sight of the beach growing closer and closer to you was terrifying and you didn’t like it. “Is it done?” You quietly asked, not wanting to open your eyes yet, but you also felt like you’ve slowed down and you could feel the rocking of the waves beneath you again.

“Yes, it’s done. Your eyes were shut the entire time, weren’t they?” He joked, squeezing your hips which made you squirm and fall off the board anyway. His laughter was so loud you could hear it from under the water, and you quickly pushed your feet up against the edge of the board to try to tip him off as well, which didn’t actually work. You got back up, wiping the water from your eyes and glaring at him, still sitting on the board and smiling down at you. “You thought you’d be able to tip me over… that’s cute. You’re cute. Come, we’ll go back now. We can both take a nap before dinner.”

The sand had finally cooled off now that the sun had practically set behind the horizon line, lighting the waves up in pretty pink, orange, and blue hues. If you weren’t so cold, you’d have loved to stay on the beach and watch the sun continue to go down with Belphie right beside you. That could be done another night though, and you were aching to get back inside and take a shower to get the sand off of you, and then just relax in bed.

“I call dibs on the bathroom first.” You called out as you swiped the card to get into the room, rushing ahead of him to drop your beach bag on the floor and run straight into the bathroom. The sand was sticking to you, not just from being in the water, but also the damned sunscreen. It was itchy and it was everywhere, and you wanted to get it off of you as quickly as you could.

“You don’t have to call dibs, I could just get in there with you.” He said it so matter-of-factly that it made you pause for a second. He wasn’t wrong, and it’s not that you’d mind him getting in with you, so you weren’t going to say no. He walked in just as you were getting into the shower, and no matter how many times he had seen you that way, you still got really shy, which he would constantly say is adorable, but it just made you flustered and even more shy than you already were. “Did you have fun?” His voice was soft now, and you could hear that he was becoming tired. You were sure that he’d end up falling asleep on the beach after being in the ocean, it was enough to even knock you out most of the time, but he held onto enough energy to get up into the room.

“Mmhm… I liked watching you more though…” You heard him hum quietly behind you, his hands roaming over your body as he helped get some of the off. You could have done it yourself, but he did it so much better. “Did you have fun?” It sounded like he had fun, and it definitely looked like he had fun. He was laughing and smiling the whole time which was enough for you. His happiness made you happy, as cringy and dorky as that may sound… which is why you never told him that. He’d call you a dork and laugh it off which would just make you flustered and feel silly.

“Mmhm… I have one more thing to do though.” You were confused because you were pretty sure he was talking about dinner and that was supposed to come after the nap. He finished rinsing the sand and soap off you and himself before turning off the shower and stepping out. He didn’t bother with towels, grabbing your hand and pulling you out of the bathroom and pushing you down on the bed, situating himself between your legs and smiling up at you. “I teased you enough on the beach… I think I should finish what I started.”

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clairenatural · 4 years

Text

destiel, 1.9k, post-series human!cas. this isn’t fully angst but it is me addressing castiel’s trauma since the writers never will. hurt/comfort-esque. cw for the stuff he went through at the beginning of s9. also: stargazing.

Castiel’s grace burns up when they pull him out of the Empty, but he doesn’t care—he doesn’t even notice, really, not when Dean is clinging to him, and kissing him like he needs him to breathe, and filling the gap his grace left with a love that feels even more holy.

It hits him halfway back to the bunker, when he’s riding shotgun and Sam is asleep in the backset and a passing streetlight bathes Dean’s freckles in yellow-gold. He’s been in love with Dean Winchester as a human before, and it was overwhelming, all mixed up in guilt and panic and a bone-deep betrayal he’s been trying to forget. But this time—this time is different, right? This time…it’s okay. It has to be. He’s not quite sure what he’s allowed, just yet, but he takes the risk anyway and reaches out for Dean across the bench seat. Dean meets him half way, catching his hand with his own, and it calms Castiel’s newly-human heart.

He wakes up the next morning, in Dean’s bed, and he’s forgotten how nice sleep is. Real, human sleep, on an actual mattress—memory foam, he remembers Dean proclaiming, excited. It’ll remember you now, too. He tries not to remember the concrete floor of the gas station, and his cold, thin sleeping bag, because now—now, he’s warm. He reaches out for Dean, who is still asleep but moves on instinct, lifting an arm so Castiel can curl up against him. He lets his bones sink into the warmth of Dean, the comfort of the mattress. He tries to remind himself he’ll never sleep on a storage room floor again.

He stays in bed even longer than Dean, which Dean calls impressive when he returns to the bedroom with coffee. Castiel plays it off as being exhausted, which is true, but he’s also trying to commit the feeling of the mattress to memory.

When he drains his coffee and finally decides to go brush his teeth, he stares for a long time at the toothpaste tube. Long enough that Dean comes looking. He leans against the bathroom door with a smile, raising an eyebrow at the sight. “It’s not gonna bite you,” he starts, and pushes off the doorframe to walk closer. “You have done this before, right? You know—last time?”

Castiel blinks and then nods. It’s just toothpaste. “You know, the first time I did this, I—” he pauses to smile, attempting levity. “I squeezed the tube directly into my mouth,” he chuckles then, trying to joke at his helplessness, and he thinks Dean will too—and he does smile, eventually, but not before a look halfway between guilt and grief crosses his face. Castiel isn’t meant to catch it, but he does—he sees all of Dean. He knows every expression better than he knows his own.

Dean doesn’t respond to his toothpaste comment, but he does wrap his arms around Castiel’s middle from behind, more securely than the situation demands, and he hooks his chin over Castiel’s shoulder with a hum. Castiel stares at the whole picture in the mirror, himself and Dean and his toothbrush, and he can’t help but smile when Dean brings a hand up to brush his thumb across his cheek. “You’re already gettin’ peach fuzz,” he murmurs. “Remind me to teach you to shave sometime.”

The smile falls as something thick settles in the pit of Castiel’s stomach. He remembers stumbling his way through a razor. “Oh. I, um. I taught myself.” The last time is unsaid.

“Oh.” Dean’s arms loosen around his waist, and the stricken look is back. “That’s—awesome.” He smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes.

Castiel turns his head to try and look at him, but Dean is already stepping away. “I’ll let you get to it,” he mumbles, and claps Castiel on the shoulder as he leaves the bathroom.

He watches Dean leave, then stares at the empty doorway for a few long seconds before turning back to his toothbrush. His hands are shaking as he squeezes out the toothpaste.

When he wanders into the kitchen a few minutes later Dean is waiting for him, armed with more coffee and a plate of scrambled eggs and bacon, and he grabs Castiel by the shoulder and guides him into a seat at the table before sliding in across from him. He’s smiling—he’s eager—and it’s such a tone shift that Castiel briefly wonders if a witch snuck into the bunker while he was brushing his teeth.

But he knows this. He’s seen it before, with Sam—how Dean will set a meal down in front of him in the library and won’t leave until he takes a bite, waiting for approval. It’s love.

“Dean, you didn’t have to—”

“Yeah, I did,” he cuts him off in a tone that’s not unkind, but is final. “Wanna take care of you,” he shrugs and covers up the intimacy of that statement by reaching over to steal a slice of bacon, and Castiel hears the I love you buried under all the layers, so he smiles and eats. Predictably, it’s delicious.

“This is much better than molecules,” he commends, because he knows Dean’s waiting for it, and Dean grins and it’s beautiful and all the weirdness of the morning is forgotten.

They talk, and they eat, and they laugh, but when Dean clears the dishes he sits back at the table with a much more serious expression. “Alright, come on. What do you want to know?”

Castiel raises his eyebrows. “About…?”

“Being human.”

Oh.

He doesn’t know how to respond to that. He’s already stumbled through all the basic human functions, albeit clumsily, and he’s trying to figure out a way to explain to Dean that being homeless gives you a painful crash course on how to survive without putting that sad expression back on his face when he realizes Dean is still talking.

“Listen, Cas. I know I fucked up last time, alright? Big time. I should’ve been there to teach you to brush your teeth, and shave, and—and tie your freakin’ shoelaces, and I can’t take that back now, okay? But maybe I can—I don’t know. Do it better, this time. I know you already got most of it figured out, but I could—”

“Dean, it’s alright.” He reaches out to place his hand over one of Dean’s, which he’s been fidgeting on the table. “I forgive you.” Dean looks up, then, and they make eye contact, and Castiel does forgive him. Of course he does. There was never another option.

Dean breaks the eye contact but he moves his other hand on top of Castiel’s and squeezes. “Yeah, well. Doesn’t mean it’s okay,” he grumbles, and Castiel loves him for that.

“You can teach me to cook,” He offers, after a moment, and Dean looks up at him with a genuine smile. “I never got much further than PB&J.”

“Hell yeah,” Dean is already standing. “Come on, let’s go.”

Castiel blinks up at him. “Go?”

“To the store,” Dean rolls his eyes, as if this was obvious. “I ain’t gonna teach you to cook with whatever we have lying around.”

He’s already off before Castiel can clarify he just wants to start with grilled cheese. Dean buys the fanciest cheddar in the store anyway.

Castiel manages to burn it on both sides.

“I’m sorry,” he stares down at the mess, mournfully, and manages to look pitiful enough that Dean picks up the blackened sandwich to take a bite anyway. He grimaces when Dean chokes on it, but he’s trying so hard to not visibly react that it makes Castiel’s heart warm, and by the time Dean finally gets the lump washed down with beer, he’s staring at him with a wry smile.

“I've fed Sam worse,” is his only comment, and Castiel can’t help but huff out a laugh, and then Dean is grinning back, setting the plate down, and reaching out to pull him close. “Tomorrow we’ll tackle spaghetti.”

Castiel scoffs. “Do you enjoy burnt tomato sauce?”

“Sure do.” Dean tilts his head down, and Castiel meets him in the middle. He tastes like burnt toast, but Castiel smiles against his lips and grins into the space between them when they separate to lean their foreheads together. “What’s next, Cas?”

“Teach me how to drive.”

Dean pulls back farther, surprised. “You can drive.”

“Not well.”

Dean snorts, then sighs. “Yeah, sure. Tomorrow though, alright? It’s getting dark.”

Castiel considers him for a moment, then nods. “Then drive me somewhere. I want to see the stars like this. Human.”

Dean hums and presses a kiss to his forehead. “That we can do.”

He misses the contact as soon as Dean steps back, but then Dean takes his hand and leads him into the garage, only letting go long enough to climb into the car. They drive through the sunset until the stars are peeking out, and Dean pulls onto the shoulder by a field far enough outside town to avoid all light pollution. He climbs onto the hood and Castiel follows, sitting close enough that their shoulders brush.

Castiel can feel Dean staring at him but doesn’t look back, not yet—he’s staring straight up, at the stars. He misses them, aches for them like he aches for his wings, but he also feels warm in their presence. The stars are solid. They are unyielding. They are trustworthy.

“How you feeling, Cas?” Dean asks after a moment, quietly, not loud enough to disturb the silence. Castiel hums before responding.

“Small.” He feels Dean shift, leaning into his shoulder.

“Small?” He questions, and he can hear that Dean’s worried. He shouldn’t be.

“Small,” Castiel confirms, tearing his gaze from the night sky to smile warmly back at Dean. “Back then—” last time “—it was terrifying, being this small. I thought I was going to drown. The stars were out of reach. I longed for them.”

“And now?” Dean has shifted, angling himself so he’s facing Castiel.

“The stars are out of reach, but they’re still there. And you are also still here,” this time, “and you are not out of reach.” Anymore. Ever again. He reaches out for Dean’s face, stroking his thumb along his cheekbone. “I’m small. But we’re small together. And that makes it alright.”

Dean stares at him like he does sometimes, like if he blinks Castiel might disappear, and then he leans forward and kisses him like that first time, like if he stops he’ll forget how to breathe. He pushes Castiel down onto the hood of the car and doesn’t break for air until the metal groans under the pressure. When he backs off, then, it’s still not far—not out of reach.

“What’s next, Cas?” he asks, and Castiel knows what he’s asking. And that’s the thing—the biggest thing—he wants to forget about last time.

He looks up at Dean, who looks like he’s holding his breath. He thinks maybe he can still let Dean teach him that, too, if he wants him to. He thinks he does want him to.

“Let’s go home,” he replies, finally, and Dean breaks into a grin before the words are fully out of his mouth, “and you can show me.”

#destiel fic #deancas fic #human!cas #destiel #deancas #my words #9x03 #i still haven't forgiven dean for how he treated cas at the beginning of s9 #so im gonna write him making up for it to make myself feel better #someday I will once again post smth not at 2am #over 1k words

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liquorisce · 3 years

Text

honey, we can run forever

pairing: eren x mikasa

rating: E; 18+

summary: Eren is not a simple man, he doesn’t want simple things, and he doesn’t love, simply. Because as much as he wants Mikasa to be happy, the thought of her forgetting him twists inside him painfully, a knife in his already diminishing soul.

cabin eren likes that mikasa grew her hair longer. (so he can pull on it when he's fucking her from behind)

ao3

“Honey, we can run forever, if forever's what's in store

Oh, time doesn’t love you like I love you,

So take me home.”

Mikky Ekko

Unbelievable, he thinks.

He feels it as he sees her walking with the others, sandwiched between Armin and Jean, as they tease her over something trivial. He sees it when she first discovers the confection they call ice cream.

She’s unbelievable. Her strength, her presence… her beauty.

There’s a melancholy to it, to the way he looks at her today. Because even though he’s never seen her so relaxed, so carefree, so guileless and lost in her surroundings (maybe just once before in the ocean, and she’d looked beautiful even then).

It tugs at him when she calls him, the same way she’s always called him, ever since they were children and innocent and clueless, the way she comes up to him with the most self-conscious smile, offering him what she just discovered.

He can’t tell her it isn’t new to him, that none of this is. He can’t tell her that when he tastes the ice cream she offers him now, he’s had it before, or at least he remembers it, because now he can remember his future, and that’s something he doesn’t even know how to explain.

So he takes it from her anyway, relishing in the treat that she relished in, partaking in a small piece of joy, something he can share with her.

He wonders when was the last time he saw her in civilian clothes. Especially like this - Mikasa had always been partial to long, flowing, skirts. That’s just who she was, and if this life hadn’t done this to her, that’s who she would have been, carefree and indulgent… and free.

And at that moment he’s never felt a stronger urge than to see her like that. To witness the beauty of Mikasa in a different life, maybe a different life with him.

…

He'd asked her to forget him. No, he'd begged. He heard his own voice, raspy and choked up at that moment, overcome with Mikasa's tears, and the cruel nature of their reality.

In that moment, standing outside their little cabin, nestled in the woods, far far away from any kind of reality, in the beautiful golden glow of the sunset that bathed her delicate face, all he'd wanted was her happiness. A long life filled with love and joy for the love of his life even if it was a life without him.

But Eren is not a simple man, he doesn’t want simple things, and he doesn’t love, simply. Because as much as he wants Mikasa to be happy, the thought of her forgetting him twists inside him painfully, a knife in his already diminishing soul.

It’s a stain in his mind, spreading, and it darkens him to the point where he can’t even look at her anymore without thinking of her smiling, beautiful, hair long and free in the wind, a child hugging her knees. A man who holds her waist with pride.

It makes him sick. It’s a vision he wants to reach out and grab and crush, make it so small until it ceases to exist. Vaguely he realizes just how far gone he is, but he doesn’t want her smiles to belong to anyone else.

He doesn’t even notice the effect his darkening mood has on her, until she asks him, tentatively. “... Did I do something to upset you, Eren?”

He’s stumped really, doesn’t know how to respond because he doesn't know how to say that she could never upset him, not as long as she’s with him. Pulling her onto his lap, he tries to dredge up a smile. “... You know me, I’ve always been moody.”

She rests her forehead against his, and he can feel her cool breath as she speaks, a small hitch in her throat as she says “... maybe I can improve your mood?”

It still makes him breathless when she speaks to him this way - coy, teasing... flirtatious? And when he thinks of the possibility that she might speak to another man this way, it leaves a bad taste in his mouth, his grip on her waist tightening.

She litters kisses along his jaw, fingers deftly undoing the ties on the front of his shirt, grazing the faint bit of chest hair that peeks out. It takes very little for her to turn him on and she knows it, a pleasing hum at the back of her throat as she feels him get aroused under her.

It’s an intensely addictive feeling, her lips, her fingers, and the more Eren feels himself give into it, the more the irrational anger bubbles over, his mouth betraying his displeasure when he thinks of her speaking this way to someone else. Would she touch him like this, caressing his chest, pressing her enticing body against his the same way?

Would she grind her hips against another man’s erection?

Would she sigh so temptingly into another man’s lips?

He can’t help the growl that spills out of his lips, and he nips her lips angrily, greedily. She recoils for a minute, grey eyes startled, her palm covering her lips. “... Eren, what was that,” -

He lifts her easily, strong muscled thighs wrapping around his hips as he carries her to the bed, pressing his lips gently to hers in apology. As he lays her out in front of him, skirt hitched up to her waist, his green eyes are stormy as he struggles with his words. “... You,” you’re beautiful, he thinks, “You don’t even realize,” -

He chokes, unable to continue, unable to explain the dark cloud brewing in his mind. He pulls the scarf off and discards it on the floor, fingers moving to the buttons on her sweater.

“... You’re all I have left Mikasa,” he wonders if that is enough for her to understand, but judging from the way she looks at him, a mixture of confused and aroused, it isn’t. “You’re all I have,” he murmurs again, before divesting her of her skirt and pressing a kiss to her inner calf. “Sometimes I can’t bear it.”

“... I don’t,” -

She doesn’t need to say it, he knows she doesn’t understand. How could she? She wasn’t like him, she loved him without complication, for the longest time, with the most straightforward dedication. But Eren’s always loved her in hiding, the way he does now, running away from the whole world into an illusion, where it’s just her and him and nobody else... to the only place where he could have her completely, only his.

“My time’s running out, Mikasa,” he says with vehemence. No longer depressed, but just angry. Angry that there was a timer on their relationship, a deadline for the time he had with the girl he loved for so long, he can’t even remember a time where he hadn’t loved her.

“... I have you now,” he whispers possessively, cupping his hand around her heat, hooking a finger into her panties to pull it down. “... But not much longer.” He takes a minute to appreciate the sight in front of him, Mikasa naked from the waist down, and he confesses, “... It drives me insane.”

If she weren’t completely, irrevocably in love with him, she might have thought he looked as insane as he felt, green eyes wild, hair messy from where she’s run her fingers through it. She doesn’t like to dwell on it either, they’d promised each other that they wouldn’t bring it up, they wouldn’t talk about their friends, or the war, or the fact that the clock was ticking on their love. “... Only you, Eren, that’s all I want to focus on,” she’d told him, breathlessly, when they’d first spoken of running away, and that’s how she wanted it to stay.

Because she can’t imagine a life without him, without the boy who’d been there for her ever since she thought she had nothing else. “We said we wouldn’t think about it,” she whispers, doing her best not to let her own thoughts stray there, there would be time for that aplenty when the only way she could keep him with her would be with tear-filled memories.

“Not think about it?” The anger betrays him, seeping into his impassioned voice, “... How can I?” His words are harsh, biting, deliberate with the scraping of his teeth against her nipple. “It’s all I think of nowadays, Mikasa.” Her hands thread into his hair when he uncovers her shirt to suck on her breast. “... That someday someone else might touch you this way.”

She inhales sharply when he squeezes her breast to the point of pain. “... Never.”

“You say that now,” he says, with melancholy, but someday you’ll do this with another man, is something he doesn’t add, when he slips a finger through her panties, testing how wet she’s become.

“... God, I’m so selfish, Mikasa,” he pants, relishing the sounds she makes, the way her beautiful grey eyes clouded with lust. “... But I want those moans only for myself.”

“Eren, I’ve only ever wanted you, you know that,” -

“I know,” he murmurs, selfishly. He doesn’t let her catch her breath, slipping another finger inside, letting her adjust to the pace that he sets, “... all this,” he lets her taste how wet she is, smearing her juices on her lips before he kisses her, “It’s only for me, isn’t it?”

He can feel her grow impatient, hips moving up to meet his, to grind against him, desperate for some friction. “You’re not lying are you, my love?” And he knows she isn’t because Mikasa is so honest with her body, her mouth, her words, as she whispers, “... I’m all yours, Eren.”

It pleases him so much to hear it, even though he’s always known it, through his jealousy, his possessiveness, there’s never been much doubt about just how much Mikasa is his. She reaches for him, for the drawstrings of his pants that should have come undone a long time ago.

It’s unbelievable just how good she can make him feel with her mouth alone (with her words, her smiles, her moans), soft and warm and wet and so, so eager to please. She works him up till he’s slick and throbbing, lips smacking around the length of him until he threads his fingers into her hair and pulls on it, grey eyes unfocused and watery from how deep she had him mere moments ago. “... You look so pretty with my dick in your mouth,” he confesses, and he doesn’t even know where he gets the courage to say it, because Mikasa looks so pretty all the time anyway.

“... Eren,” she whispers urgently, and he can see the way she’s pressing her thighs together, can see the urgency she wants to convey. “... I need you.”

“I know you do, my love,” he whispers, caressing the side of her face, “... Be a good girl for me and get on your hands and knees for me.” She blushes prettily but moves to accommodate him exactly how he tells her to, on her knees and her hands, turning to look at him in anticipation.

He swats her ass playfully, and she wiggles. “Raise your ass for me, Mikasa, don’t hide.”

She’s so obedient, so beautiful, and the darker side of him relishes it immensely. He loves the way she listens to him, how eager she is to please him, and there’s an irrational, selfish thought, that surely this side of her, submissive and pliant Mikasa, will only be his.

He spreads her with his fingers and blows gently, and she lets out a long whine. He nips at her outer lips possessively, lapping at the juices that betray her arousal. “... So needy,” he whispers, and in a breathless whimper, she supplies, “... only for you, Eren.”

He groans as he slips his length inside of her, inside her ready heat, so deep inside of her, he’s almost certain she’s taken hold of his soul. “... Mine,” he whispers, almost subconsciously, kissing the soft skin over her spine, licking gently over her vertebra.

She bucks back against him, eager for him to move, but his fingers splay around her throat possessively. “... So desperate for me, huh, Mikasa?” His fingers tighten ever so slightly as he drives into her, and she can feel her flutter around his length as he gets rough with her. He thrusts again and again, his hold loosening, not wanting to hurt her.

But what Eren doesn’t realize is that Mikasa needs this as much as he does, that he could do anything to her and she wouldn’t break. That when he chokes her and drives into her, everything else ceases to exist, except him and his all-consuming presence. “Do anything, Eren,” she begs, a hoarse whisper from the back of her throat, “... just don’t be gentle.”

Because their love had never been gentle, it had always been violent, cruel, asking too much of them, burdening them with pleasure but only with the promise of pain. And now with the things that played on both their minds, she’d rather he drove it out of her mind with the sheer intensity that only he could give her.

“I wasn’t planning to be,” he murmurs, yanking on her ponytail, watching her back arch beautifully as he fills her completely before thrusting into her again. He has a stray thought about how pretty she looks with her hair grown out again, sleek and soft and so perfect for him to hold onto as he drives into her from behind.

The angle is so good, so deep, that she whimpers, “... I can’t… I’m so close, Eren,” and that’s when he knows he has to see her. He pulls out of her quickly - she whines at the loss of fullness - and demands, “... Lie on your back, my love. I want to see you feel good.”

It embarrasses her how easily he vocalizes what he wants, but Eren’s always been good at that, and Mikasa’s happy to make him feel happy. So she complies. He parts her legs, bending them onto his shoulders and slips into her so easily, she groans.

He bites down on the soft swell of her calves to suppress a groan because he’s slid so deep into her wetness, he feels like he could almost drown. He fucks her thoroughly, building a pace that he can no longer say he’s in control of, his hips bucking into her erratically. Her orgasm is building, and he can sense it in the way that she quivers, how she looks away from him, biting her lip, and he doesn’t like it.

Grasping her chin with his fingers, he turns it towards him, thumb forcing her mouth open. “Don’t do that,” he breathes, “... I want to hear you say my name.” He bends over and licks gently on her earlobe, lavishing the way she likes, the way he knows she’s weak for. “... I want to hear you scream it, Mikasa.”

And she does.

…

He watches her sleep, after. He tucks her in and watches her breathing deepen, her hair framing her face beautifully on her pillow.

She’s even more beautiful after he’s fucked her, lips swollen from the way he’s kissed them, skin bruising delicately under the pale moonlight. She bruised so easily under his fingers, from where he enclosed them around her throat, and for the briefest moment, he feels bad about it - about causing her any kind of pain.

But the larger part of him, the part that screams for nothing but his own gratification, wonders if they will stay long, long after he’s gone, reminding anyone who dares to look, whom she truly belongs to.

- fin -

a/n: here's some soap for you to clean yourselves after this!! if you want some more cabin eremika that's sorta like this, check out my other oneshot "one of these days, ill know" :)

(btw, I'm always looking for feedback to improve, so please lemme knoww~)

#eremika #eremika smut #liquorisce fanfiction #eren jaeger #mikasa ackerman

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binniesthighs · 3 years

Text

telepatía | reader x binsung

a/n: hi cuties! hope ya’ll are are staying seggsy and cozy! ;) this piece is 100% self indulgent (hehe) as well as my first time writing a poly r/ship! since i’m new at it, any and all feedback is super super appreciated!! <3

telepatía | changbin x reader x jisung

~aka, my love note to binsung~

Pairing: self insert, seo changbin x female reader x han jisung

Genre: fluff n’ smut

Tags: poly relationship, long distance r/ship au, established r/ship au, inspired by a song au, comfort fic, lil bit emotional but that’s bc they are in looove, idiots in love, softdom!binnie, hardswitch!reader, softsub!jisung, mentions of food, explicit language, masturbation (f), dirrrrty talking, hehe soft love makin’, lowkey size and corruption kink, unprotected sex, oral (m&f), face sitting, penetration (piv and anal), double penetration (f), nipple play (m&f), fingering (f), squirting, marking, multiple orgasms, creampie, ahhh soft n’ intimate body touching, cockwarming, shower aftercare, i am so sorry i got sooooo carried away teehee

Word count: 7.9k

Recommended listening: telepatía by kali uchis

Two months. Two months that had felt like eternity.

Your pen tapped at the table to your desk as you watched the minutes pass by. To your right, your desk calendar with your little countdown smiled at you with the little doodles had drawn along with the stickers that you had decorated there.

Five more days!

The golden hour of the day passed by outside your window upon the city that you had been calling home for the past two months. It was gorgeous. Unreal even. Studying abroad had been harder than you had expected--although it was often exciting at other times too. There was not a day that passed when you had regretting doing it, but there were other days when you had wished you could just transport yourself right back home; even if it meant it would be for only a couple hours of so.

During nights like these, your cramped little studio felt even more empty than usual. The colors of gold and pink would smear in the skyline along with pale pink clouds that looked softer and lusher than anything else in the world. In the springtime, the budding and green trees lined the outside of the apartment complex and birds twittering past would flutter their wings outside of your window cracked open slightly. As the days went by, the air warmed and became more humid, and smelled of luxurious primrose and hyacinths.

Your room was dimly lit by your desk lamp, and you hadn’t bothered to turn on any other light. Pages wrinkled, and your sense of loneliness came creeping in like the cold winter that the new season had now just chased away. You didn’t want the feeling to linger, but you couldn’t help but let it.

The sheets of your bed were cozy, much like the rest of the way that you had decorated your studio. The cream colored covers felt like silk on your legs, but where nothing compared to the touch that you craved.

Your phone clicked on with it’s blue-white light, showing your screensaver: a beautiful sunset image of that last walk that you had taken of the two of them before you had left.

If it were possible, you imagined that missing one person was enough to shatter a heart, but two people?

You hugged your phone to your chest, feigning some semblance of a hug to the two of them. Your nose sniffled as it grew more stuffed, and you let your suppressed sobs fill up the space of the room.

You were convinced that you must've been the the luckiest or the unluckiest person in the whole world: two loves of your life, two people to share it all with had been like a dream come true. It was finally something that felt like it made sense. But, to be so closely tied to two people, meant that being away from them hurt two times as much.

You imagined them with you in your room: they loved to sandwich you in the middle of them. This was their favorite place to have you. Nothing had been warmer and safer than that. Arms and legs would be all tied together in a way that made little sense, and both of their quiet breathing would tickle at the skin of the back of your neck and your forehead. If there was anything that you had guessed you missed most, it would be falling asleep with them. “I love you’s” would be whispered, and all space between you dissapear once the down comforter would be pulled to your noses.

No matter how hard you pretended that they were there, it was never the same.

[it takes three to make a thing go right] binnie, sungie, me

binnie: have you had dinner yet? please don’t forget!

jisung: [see image] this is what we’re having for breakfast! we wish you were here with us!

With shaking fingers you opened the picture to view Jisung’s attempts at cooking. He had been getting into it these days. You had almost wished sometimes that you had been there to try whatever he had concocted--even if it didn’t taste the best. Today it looked like he had tried to make fluffy pancakes with strawberries and cream...but they didn’t end up as fluffy as they should’ve been. Changbin was in the background of the picture making a couple finger hearts. Undoubtedly Jisung had asked him to do it for the picture: Changbin was more of the no-nonsense and stoic type with somewhat of a goofy edge. You and Jisung always knew how to make him melt. “You two are my weaknesses you know?”

sungie: don’t stay up too late either! finish strong before you come back, okay?

binnie: we really can’t wait to see you, five days can’t come soon enough.

You sniffled, sitting up. Had they been there then, they wouldn’t have liked to see you cry. Although your heart stung with a sharp pain seeing them so happy together, you brought yourself back together. You knew exactly how it would’ve been: Jisung would dry your tears gently, then cuddle right up under your arm to nuzzle into your shoulder. Behind the both of you, Changbin would spread his arms wide so both of you could be wrapped up in him.

me: i really miss you both. i miss you so, so much. i can’t wait to see you on Friday. don’t have too much fun without me until then :)

binnie: you kidding? we’re miserable without you!! i think that we’re both going crazy.

sungie: he’s right!! it feels so weird, it always has been these past months.

we’re not complete without you, y/n. we miss you too sooooo much.

and you know that bin gets crabby sometimes. when it’s just me around...

bin: hey! the hell you mean crabby?! i’m a frickin angel!!!

The way that you could read each of their messages in their voices brought you comfort, and you giggled a little reading the words.

sungie: relax! i’m just trying to make her laugh. did i succeed?

me: you did sungie. :)

bin: you forget that i’m sitting right next to you sung, you’re playing a risky game.

sungie: ooooh he talks such big talk, are you seeing this y/n? do you see what i mean? plz come back and save me!!!

bin: HEY

me: binnnnn go easy on sungie.

bin: i do!!!

i only go rough when he asks me too ;)

sungie: w o w

While it did make you laugh, it still hurt a little thinking about how even with you missing, their lives still went on, they ate meals together, went to concerts, movies, out to eat, and, at the end of the day, they still had eachother to cuddle up with to sleep. It hurt even more thinking about how they still had eachother to satisfy other comforts. Of course, you were still involved over the phone and video calls too, but with thousands of miles of distance, your hands alone could never feel as mind-blowing as theirs.

binnie: there will be plenty of that when you get back too y/n ;) sung has maybe had it too easy.

me: hmm too easy?

Jisung send a series of emoji stickers that all conveyed about the same message: oh my god i’m in trouble.

binnie: anyway, jokes aside, we are really looking forward to friday. sungie and i have been talking about it and we think we just want to spend the night in if that’s okay with you? you’ll be tired too.

As always, your boyfriends were the most considerate people in likely the whole world. You didn’t really want to be anywhere else, but just with the two of them; as close as you possibly could be.

me: that sounds perfect. <3

sungie: get some rest tonight!! in the morning get yourself something nice for breakfast, i can send you some money hehe

binnie: boyfriend of the year award over here ! !

sungie: hey, we’re both boyfriend of the year! duh, she loves us the same???

me: that’s very true.

binnie: pffff

sungie: don’t make me tackle you seo changbin, i am sitting right next to you

binnie: is that a promise?

me: boys, boys stop fighting, you’re both boyfriend of the year.

binnie: see? y/n, we’re a mess without you.

sungie: changbin, you’re my boyfriend of the year too. does that make you feel better?

binnie: maybe.

sungie: we’re keeping y/n from getting dinner. we should shut up now.

anyhoo!

we love and miss you a lot a lot. take care until friday! we’re almost there!!!!

binnie: BUT I LOVE HER MORE

sungie: bin, i love you, but please, shut up.

binnie: i’m joking!! sungie i’m joking. this is an equal relationship obviously.

By now, their usual antics had left your tearstained face dry, and the corners of your mouth sore from how hard you had smiled.

binnie: see you soon! goodnight y/n!

sungie: night y/n <3

You clicked your phone closed, then let your weight drop down to your pillow that held the smell of the evening air.

“It’ll be sooner than you think.” You sighed.

It was much too nice of a night to be doing homework, so you decided to push it off for just a couple more hours, flicking on your dinky TV set to a local station where they spoke in the language that you had been teaching to yourself for the past couple months. Here and there you could recognize a few words, but you mostly liked it for the noise.

You pulled your thin sheet over your bare legs, merely enjoying the simplicity of the feeling over your whole body.

there will be plenty of that when you get back home too.

we love and miss you a lot a lot.

Two months for imagining...and you had learned to hone your skill especially, even if it didn’t feel the same. Even though missing them hurt, you could still feel the love from them from thousands of miles away. They had said themselves that they didn’t feel complete without you.

The silky feeling sheets tickled at the hairs on your arms as your hand teased down your stomach, then toyed with the elastic of your panties under cotton shorts. You blamed it on the night being especially pleasant, or maybe it was just what you and needed at that moment.

You wondered how much they had missed you, if they thought of you when their hands would run over each other, or perhaps even if they would imagine that you were there with them when they hold each other close, tiny gaps and moans stick on their lips while they would pleasure each other too. You in fact had thought of them: Jisung’s pretty moans and the way that Changbin liked to suck little bites into his neck.

That spring air hushed into your window with the softness of a song, and curious fingers dipped into your folds and twitching bud which was wet to the touch. Your body jolted at the feeling of your fingers on your suddenly needy clit. Your mind ran wild thinking of the way that both of them had looked beside you, one of their hands dipping under the fabric of your panties and the other lightly twisting at your nipples too. Absentmindedly, your own hand reached to mimic the action on your breast while you remembered. Careful kisses would be pressed into your cheek and neck while they whispered adoring little praises in your ears.

“You’re so beautiful baby, like nothing else.”

“We love you so much. My princess, such a good girl for me, hm? You like how our hands look on you?”

Your body shivered at the memory, and you rubbed circles into your clit, gathering your own sticky slick to rub over the sensitive bud.

“Yes,” You whispered to the empty room.

The golden setting sun reflected fractals of tiny rainbows into your room--just as your prism had done hanging in the window back at home. It would reflect on the stucco walls, and the colors would streak on the ceiling. You would catch sight of them laying tangled up in scattered sheets with both of their bodies prowling over you in bare skin. You could trace the curves of their shoulder blades like the edge of perfectly crested waves. A faraway warmth swelled over your body, and you rubbed harshly at your bud craving more and and more. Your legs squirmed under the sheets: much like they would when they would bow their heads to tease at your clit with interweaving tongues, sandwiched between your thighs which they would pull back with starving fingertips. You could almost hear it: the way that your slick would drip over your pussy, and how they would taste it too on each others lips in between.

Your back arched recalling their praise. They would pull you between them once again, and fill your mouth with adoring kisses covered with multitudes of their love. Jisung would mewl little whines into your mouth, shaking from your hand wrapped around his cock, and Changbin kissed you like you were his reason for breathing: slow, languid, purposeful. He’d sigh out watching the way that you marked up Jisung’s body while pumping himself all the while.

“Binnie. Sungie.” Their names became your anchor while your rubbed wider, then slower, then faster. Your soaked fingers plunged into your pussy while your head danced with the memories of them filling you up, rolling their hips in as deeply as thye could, kissing into your chest or the crook of your neck. You curved your fingers to tease at your g-spot, but your clit was even more impatient.

“Do you want to cum for us princess?”

“I’ll cum for you...” Your breath hitched in that room all by yourself.

Your fingers wiggled back up to your clit, now hypersensitive from its lack of attention. Instantly, your orgasm built violently behind the twitching bud, and you threw your free arm back to grip into your pillow to steady yourself. Sweat had gathered on the underside of your thighs and on your back: it was a feeling so dirty that it only made your head feel lighter. It was as if they were in the room with you and you could see them clearly: enamored eyes dipped in lust that ate up your form until there was nothing left.

“C-close.” You shuddered, now with pruned fingers encircling until you drew yourself right to the brink.

You came with a forceful heat that swept over your whole body and sent your hips jerking up into the air and toes digging into the bed. Your incisors bit harshly at your lip, and you stifled your unsteady and high pitched moans the best you possibly could. In your apartment complex, the walls were thin enough for there to be little left to the imagination.

Your chest shook as you came down and you teased your bud, edging on overstimulation for as long as you could take it. Jisung had liked the way that you would convulse like this and Changbin would relentlessly give little slaps to your aching bud. Once you could take no more, you drew your hand back from the elastic, then you let the euphoria sweep over your body for a few moments of silence and tranquility.

Yes, you had done it to yourself, but without their help, there was no way that you could’ve shown your body the same kind of fervent love.

It was as if they could make love to you telepathically, even on this night when the sun was setting, and your bed was empty.

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

You hadn’t expected yourself to feel nervous meeting them at the airport. Still, your heart pounded in your chest with a ridiculous rhythm. It wasn’t like you had a completely different face or had changed anything about yourself remotely that would’ve shocked them. Still, a sense of anxiety swelled in you that was unexpected and unwarranted. Perhaps it was because it was so surreal.

There was something odd about the airport, it was likely how industrial it all felt with chairs that were lined with thin upholstery and carpets that held all kinds of mysterious stains. But, while it was a bit of a undesirable area, it was teeming with excitement. There were patrons at the magazine stands busying themselves flipping through books and laughing at the outrageous titles, people sitting joyously at the little restaurants and several hyper children tugging the hands of exasperated parents with neck pillows clinging to their strained necks. Further down the way, there was the sign illuminated pointing to the pick up area past baggage claim.

The air smelled overly filtered, but it was still as exhilarating. You took two escalators down and one moving walkway, then the light of the outdoors flooded the area with conveyor belts and the screens above them.

“Y/n? Y/n!!!!” Jisung’s voice called over the busy sounds of baggage claim filled to the brim with his excitement.

Before you got a chance to figure out where his voice had come from, your adorable boyfriend came charging at you with arms outstretched and an inhumanly large smile on his face. He scooped you up holding you so tightly that you had to teeter on your tip toes. While Jisung had a bit of a tiny frame, you never would’ve guessed from the scale of his hugs.

“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.” He giggled out the words with a sense of disbelief, and he swung your body back and forth. “Oh my god I missed you sososo much.”

Another set of arms peacefully wrapped around you and Jisung and squeezed you in even tighter. In one of his hands, the cellophane from a bouquet of pink roses crinkled. “It’s so nice to have you back.” Changbin cooed, then reached to pat your head with his free hand.

You blinked back your happy tears the best that you could. The three of you broke, and you looked at both of your boyfriends right in front of you for the first time in what felt like forever. Changbin squeezed Jisung’s shoulder while the boy wiped a couple tears for the corner of his eyes.

You were biased, but they really were the most beautiful people in the world.

“I-I missed you both too, more than you can imagine.”

The two boys beamed, then presented you with your flowers.

“‘Hope you like pink ‘cause that’s the last color that they had left.” Changbin chuckled, and you nodded profusely.

“They’re gorgeous.”

You decided, after two months of not seeing the damn loves of your life, you deserved to kiss them--fuck the glares that you would get.

First you grabbed Changbin by the cheeks to press a smiling kiss right into his surprised mouth, and kiss him like you were a high schooler starved for attention that was forbidden to them. Still, your boyfriend grabbed your face back, rubbing tenderly into your own cheeks.

You winked to an equally shocked Jisung, “You next.”

You kissed the stutters away on his lips, and then ran giddy lips over his which cracked with a smile so wide it made it a little hard to kiss him. He wrapped both of his arms around you to pull you in close and you ruffled up his caramel blond hair the best you possibly could. Beside you, Changbin chuckled out proudly.

You had closed your eyes to kiss both of your boyfriends like they deserved. If someone had stared, well...you didn’t see it.

Jisung was out of breath after your parted, then pushed up his glasses in his surprise.

“That was....”

“--Lets get home!!” You shined with a smile, then took off in front of them. “Are you coming or not??”

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

Jisung decided not to subject you to his home cooking, regardless of the fact that you had said that you wanted to try it. You had ordered take-out, and ate it picnic style on the floor to your living room in front of the TV playing a movie that none of you payed attention to. Regardless of the fact that your jet lag had hit you like a truck, your pure adrenaline upon seeing them kept your eyes from becoming weary.

The normal questions had been asked: how are you classes, how is the food there, what are the people like, what is your apartment like, have you made friends etc. You asked Changbin about how his classes were going, and how Jisung’s part-time job at the café was and about the silly little things that you used to do as three, but they now had to as two. The consensus was that doing anything as two was strange and even a little awkward at times because they had gotten so used to having you around.

Changbin cleared the dishes, making space for you to make up your little pillow fort that you would do at times. “It felt like there was a piece missing from us. It was...really hard sometimes too.”

“It was for me too. Out there all alone...I had never realized that a bed meant for one person would be like, the saddest thing that there is on this earth.”

“Small bed no more!” Jisung piped, then proceeded to wrap both his arms and legs around you the best he could. “Also small shower no more.” He nuzzled into your chest.

One of the selling points of the apartment that you shared was actually the comically large shower that it came with. During the first few weeks after you had moved in, it was as if the three of you were physically incapable of taking a shower without the others being there. Changbin joked that it was as if they had made it just for the three of you in some kind of destined way.

“Hmmm well, I think that we should make use of that as soon as possible.”

Jisung let out a happy little hum in agreement then angled himself up to plant a couple quick kisses on your mouth and nose. Changbin threw down your array of pillows and other blankets, draping them over chairs to make a little tent like the three of you were toddlers hidden away in your secret place.

“Sungie sandwich!!!” Jisung suddenly gasped out, “Binnie come on!!”

Changbin scoffed, “I guess it has been a while...can’t say no to that.”

Jisung squealed and the two of you made space for your boyfriend to come slide himself on the other side and make a proper “Sungie sandwich.” He kissed careful lips into the crook of Jisung’s neck which made the other boy giggle out in a tizzy: not only was he sensitive there, but it would tickle him too. You reached your arms over to tangle your fingers up in Changbin’s dark locks which were just as soft as you remembered.

“This feels so amazing.” You sighed into Jisung who had crept his hands up your shirt.

“It does.” Changbin agreed. “We’re complete again.”

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

Small bed no more was right.

Jisung patted the middle spot, wearing only a white tee and his boxers.

“Your spot awaits you princess.”

“Don’t mind if I do!”

Changbin sauntered over while he brushed his teeth, abandoning the idea of a shirt all together.

Your eyes widened, “...Bin--”

“--What?” He smugly smirked. “It’s nothing you haven’t seen before?”

“N-no.”

Your other boyfriend scoffed, “He certainly knows that he’s hot, doesn’t he?”

“He sure does.” Changbin dished out a prideful wink.

With sarcasm laced in your voice, you turned to Jisung to say, “I’m so sorry you had to deal with that while I was gone.”

Changbin’s voice echoed from the bathroom “HE LIKED IT!”

Jisung waved him off, settling to beckon you under the thick and cozy comforter that you had daydreamed of more than once.

“Are you comfy?” He hushed.

“Mmhm! Comfiest I’ve been in months.”

Just as he always would, Jisung would wrap you up so tight that it might’ve been a little suffocating--but it wasn’t like you minded in the slightest. The top of his poofy hair smelled like grapefruits somehow, and you hadn’t realized how much you had missed it. The feeling of your bare legs intertwined, and there was nothing that came close to such a perfect feeling.

Your other boyfriend clicked off the light, then engulfed the both of you with his rather strong and intimidating arms. You knew for a fact that they were nothing but cuddly and harmless. Being like this with them was what you had missed most, and it was finally yours for the taking.

“Are you guys asleep yet?” Jisung whispered after approximately five minutes of silence.

“No,” Changbin murmured. “What is it?”

“I-I dunno, I can’t fall asleep, I just keep thinking...”

You flopped over to face him, “What is it Sungie? Everything okay?”

Your adorable boyfriend stammered, then shied under the comforter in the dark of the room. “I-I don’t know if now is the right time, but...” It was noticeable how his tone had changed; you and Changbin knew it well. Jisung’s pitch would raise and his voice would crack when he wanted something.

Changbin leaned over to click the light back on. “Sung, you don’t have to be so coy about it. I think that Y/n and I know you better than you know yourself.”

Jisung’s eyes widened in his embarrassment, “You what??”

Your headstrong boyfriend sighed, “Use your words Sungie.”

His cheeks turned rosy, then he peeped, “It’s just that it’s been a really long time and I can’t stop thinking about it, and...Bin and I didn’t really do anything for like a week cause--”

Your head whipped in Changbin’s direction, “What?”

Changbin nodded solemnly saying, “Let him finish.”

“--C-cause I wanted us to wait for when you came back so it could be like, extra special? Or...something like that.” He threw the blanket over his head. “It sounds so dumb when I say it out loud.”

You really didn’t deserve someone like Jisung. Not in this lifetime or the next. You felt your limbs practically turn to jelly to hug your shy boyfriend.

“It’s not dumb!! Not at all!! I think that it’s so sweet! You wanted to wait for me? Oh, baby...”

With the blanket pulled back, you held his glistening eyes with yours. He really was irresistible when he would get like this.

“I’m assuming that you wanna stop waiting, hm?”

Changbin joined you in leaning over the shiest of you three, then shrugged down the cotton of your loose t-shirt to paint kisses into your shoulder. In the chill of the room, the warmth contrasted beautifully.

“Yes or no Sungie? Because I defin--”

“--Yes! Uh--I mean, yes, but--only if you aren’t too tired or if you want to.”

“Sungie, how can I say no to you?” You bowed your neck to press loving little kisses into his lips which still tasted faintly of mint. He immediately give into you, grabbing out to hold your neck firmly as you did so. His hips squirmed slightly, as did his legs--he always was such an impatient baby.

Changbin scooched in closer to caress down your back as you filled your boyfriend with every single kiss that you had been waiting months to give him.

His voice was as soft as velvet, and full of his immense love for the two of you. Seeing both of you like this made him swell with such as sense of admiration, it was as if it was a high for him. “We’ll take care of you Sungie, we’d love to.”

Even from Changbin’s praises, Jisung’s whole body would shiver, and you could feel it on your tongue too when you had politely asked for him to allow you entrance.

Jisung set to work pulling your shirt up over your arms once you turned to Changbin to kiss over him roughly. He had liked it more that way: a collision of lips and teeth grazing over the softer parts of your mouth, gasps getting caught in between and the heat of tongues twisting as if you were as sweet as honey. As soon as you were rid of your shirt two sets of hands greedily crept up your body to twist and pull at your nipples which had hardened in seconds. Your head fell to Changbin’s shoulder while they teased and flicked at your sensitive buds until they hurt.

“She’s so pretty, isn’t she?” Changbin growled, then cradled your head to lay you down.

“The prettiest.” Jisung agreed, then hooked his fingers under the lacy part of your underwear that you might’ve worn with the purpose of them not staying on you for long. In return, you tugged at both of their waistbands for them to do the same. Cloth hit the bedside floor, and all that was left was Jisung’s shirt which you pulled off yourself. You only had a couple moments to look in the dim lighting of the room, but both of them had already dripped lightly with pearly drips of pre-cum and their hardening dicks throbbed against the mattress. Not only was it a heavenly sight to behold, but you knew that both of them were entirely for you.

Changbin leaned down to flick his tongue around your hardened bud, then used his hand to kneed at your other breast with his powerful grasp. Jisung pulled your face towards him with hungry little whimpers that tickled your bottom lip, so you returned the favor by pulling his with your teeth. He recoiled beautifully from the feeling, and you saw your prefect window to slither down his body and wrap your hand around his pink cock. At first, you grazed your thumb over his slit roughly.

“Did you miss my hand on your cock Sungie? Look at you...so hard for me, so worked up...do you want it that bad, baby?”

“Y-yes, p-please...”

Changbin kissed his way up your neck from your breasts sparkling from his saliva, then sucked love bites onto your collarbones and the soft parts of your neck. “Angel, I want to see you with Sungie’s dick in your mouth, can you do that?”

You nodded, reveling in Changbin’s instructions. There was something about being told exactly what to do that made you feel so pliable. Changbin knew it well. You then worked kisses down your boyfriend’s body, pausing for a moment to flick your tongue over his nipples in the way that made his whole chest flush with pink. He laughed out in his pleasure with an airy breath too. You kissed gently at first, teasing your lips over, then sucking harshly with a trailing of teeth. His back arched, and he let out a delightful “ah-fuck!”

You finished by peppering other little marks on his chest which faded from pink to violet in a matter of seconds.

“Babyboy, you wanna taste my cock too?” Changbin greedily rose to kneel, then pumped his fist with tiny trailing breaths.

Jisung’s eyes turned into full moons at the sight, then nodded excitedly while angling himself correctly. You and your boyfriend exchanged prideful little glances over the other’s eagerness. The pads of your fingers traced down Jisung’s thin frame, ghosting over his flaring abs and drawing little scribbles into his ribs. Your perfect position was set between this quivering thighs which welcomed you easily, and you took his deliciously pink cock in your hand to tease at him with thick stripes. You gathered saliva on your tongue so he could feel it, then used another hand to pump at him too.

Jisung flattened out his tongue to swirl it around his boyfriends angrily red tip and maintained eye contact as Changbin preferred. As the smallest boy dipped his head in closer, Changbin entangled his fingers with those gorgeous caramel trellises. He sighed out at the feeling of his cock hitting the back of Jisung’s throat, and groaned out lowly once he heard the other choke on it lightly.

“Fuck baby. Just like that..”

You then took in Jisung’s length as deeply as you could: and it was no easy feat. Where Changbin dominated in girth, Jisung made up for in length. The action sent Jisung whining helplessly on Changbin’s dick, which only drove the other boy further into his passion.

“You take me so well Sungie.” He cooed, and pulled out for Jisung to catch a few desperate gasps.

Your saliva gathered in the corner of your mouth, and you licked it up and down the sides of Jisung’s cock-- but only for a few moments. You swallowed him down, pushing down the back of your throat just as you had long learned how to do. Merely feeling the weight of him in your mouth sent your pussy throbbing and your legs twisting for some kind of sensation. Of course, Changbin had noticed.

“Open your legs sweetheart.”

You did as you were told, and his thick fingers came journeying through your soaked folds, and he toyed with your clit and slicked his fingers with your arousal. His index and middle finger circled around you: it was a sensation that you had dreamed of endlessly.

“Mm, Bin...” You moaned onto Jisung’s cock.

“Pretty pussy of yours must’ve missed this, hm? My fingers fucking your wet little cunt? I missed it too...”

You tried your best to maintain your strength once you had returned to sucking off Jisung’s dick, but you only seemed to unravel further. He rutted his hips into your mouth needily--an action which teased at your gag reflex, but you were stronger than that.

Jisung’s own slobber fell down the side of his neck which Changbin held, just so he could feel the way that he filled up his boyfriends throat. With his other hand, he dipped it further inside your pussy, fucking you slowly at first. You knew that he loved the way that your slick sounded on his fingers. In response, your helpless moans vibrated on your boyfriend’s dick.

“Y/n, I want your mouth too.” Changbin asked gravely with hooded and darkened eyes. You knew what you had to do next. His fingers slipped out from you, and you loathed feeling so empty, but you weren’t one to disobey him either.

Changbin made space for you to lay on your stomach next to Jisung and then tapped his wetted dick on your lips as well, leaving Jisung gasping next to you.

“Fucking show me how much you missed me.”

You took him in, and you had nearly forgotten how sizeable he really was. It was startling, and as soon as you took in his full length, you had to fight back tears over how thick he really was. Regardless, the way that he could stretch you out like this was purely addictive.

“Oh...fuck--baby...” Your boyfriends voice dropped several decibels. “My babies suck my dick s-so good don’t they?”

Jisung nodded in his wonder at you, and Changbin dipped his thumb into his mouth afterword. Jisung always did love the taste.

Changbin caressed your full cheek, “Don’t forget to share.”

You took a deep breath, then let Jisung take his turn again. As he did so, you resumed your work at jerking off his dripping tip, and he reached to slide between your folds with long fingers.

With both of your adoring glances, you and Jisung kissed and lapped up the sides of your boyfriend’s dick and his eyes rolled back at the ethereal sight.

“H-holy sh-shit--”

Your hips buckled once Jisung let his fingers plunge inside of you and high pitched mewls sent you clawing at Changbin’s hips for balance.

“W-wait...” Changbin pulled himself away, and you knew that he must’ve been practicing the best restraint he could. “Sungie, you wanna taste her pussy too? Taste how sweet she is?”

Jisung smiled widely, despite being a bit of slobbery and tear-stained himself.

“I’ve been waiting for months to!”

You looked to Changbin for approval.

“Sit on his face then sweetheart? Wouldn’t you like to ride his face for me?”

You nodded in your thrill, and the bedsheets crinkled under the sound of the three of you shifting your bodies back into the proper position.

As it often would, the windows to your room fogged with steam--even though it was a beautiful spring evening. Pillows were strewn everywhere, and some of them nearly fell off the bed. Nevertheless, you had never been cozier wrapped in the clean threads and with your sweating skin pressed against heated bodies.

Jisung firstly kissed at your wet lips, teasing and humming happily into them. He grabbed onto both of your thighs to open you further then pulled your folds apart to kiss directly on your bud--an action which sent you nearly screaming over how intense it all felt.

“You can be loud for us baby. There’s nothing to be scared of here.”

It was as if a switch had flipped within you, and each and every lap of Jisung’s tongue felt like the most euphoric sensation you had ever experienced. He looked utterly adorable under you with his pink and juicy tongue running stripes over your clit. Merely watching him like this was enough to bring you to your first orgasm.

“D-don’t stop S-sung...” You rolled your hips over his lips.

Changbin had snaked himself farther down Jisung’s body which glistened with a thin layer of sweat. He clicked the bottle of lube, then smoothed it over his length, finally aligning it over the smaller boy. Your hands grabbed out for something to hold onto: one of them within Jisung’s hair, and the other squeezing painfully into the headboard.

“Rough or slow Sungie?” Changbin laughed out wickedly.

“R-rough...” Jisung moaned onto your pussy, “H-hard...”

Changbin entered your boyfriend carefully, and both of them shuddered at the feeling. The room was full of all of your eroticism, and Jisung groaned out loudly at the connection. From the sounds your orgasm drew itself out too, and it was heightened even more when Jisung moved to pump his fingers deeply into you as well. He curved his fingertips in the way that grazed your cervix, and then sent you quivering pathetically over his face. Lower, Changbin dug his fingers into his boyfriends hips slamming into him without pause, and panting haphazardly.

“C-can yo-you cum for me??” Jisung whimpered in a way that was much too cute for his own good.

“Yes.” You answered, then fucked your hips over his plush lips and you clenched your teeth hard against your lip “Mm-fingers, Sung--please...”

Jisung did as he was told, and maintained his pace stimulating your g-spot then, and begging an orgasm out of your body. He himself whimpered like a puppy while he was fucked out. Had you not been focusing on your orgasm, you wished you could see it all happen.

“Ji--fuck--” Your hips violently shook, and you came with a searing heat that locked your walls tight around his fingers and dripped even further down your shaking thighs and splattered into his delicate features. It didn’t startle him at all, but he merely licked his lips free of your slick.

“B-Bin--” He gasped out, then you fell down in your aftershocks to watch the way that Changbin spread out your gorgeous boyfriend with sweat dripping down his chest and from his brow.

“Ride him, baby.” Changbin immediately ordered. “I want you to cum all over his dick, got it?”

With grabby hands, Jisung pulled you right into his chest once you had straddled him. He played with your nipples for a few fleeting moments as you got situated pushing his cock into your pussy still trembling from your last orgasm.

It was beautiful how he could fill you up like this. It was intimacy incomparable a closeness that only you had shared with him. In fact, he had actually been somewhat of a virgin when the three of you had met, and both you and Changbin were his first time. Knowing that he had only shared this part of himself with you and your boyfriend felt intoxicating in a way.

You flicked your hips over his length, and focused your strength on fucking him slowly compared to how relentless Changbin kept his pace at.

“I love you baby. Jisung, I love you so much.” You held his gaze.

Two tears fell from his cheeks--not out of sadness, but of his pure love for you.

He begged with a quivering lip, “Please kiss me.”

And you did. You kissed Jisung like he was as fragile as flower petals that could break with the smallest tear. You kissed his lips as sweet as candy and you kissed the last bits of your arousal away on the corners of his mouth.

Still, “Harder...” He begged, and your hips dipped lower and quicker over him.

“Want me to fuck you harder babyboy?”

Changbin threw his hands on your shoulders, then ran them down your spine to feel the way that you moved over Jisung’s dick.

“Want us to fuck you until you can’t say any more?” You tutted.

“Fuck, Sung, you feel so--”

“G-gonna make me cum-ngh!”

Changbin angled the boys hip up a bit further, and the sound of skin on skin filled the room.

You sang out the phrase, “~I didn’t hear you say it Sungie~”

Jisung’s face screwed up, and he gasped out loud enough for the neighbors to likely hear, but that didn’t matter in the slightest.

“Fuck me please.”

The thickness of the air in the bedroom clouded, and you fucked your beautiful boyfriend with your tightening walls as hard and as fast as you could, right until you brought yourself to the brink of another trembling orgasm, right over his dick. Changbin gifted a stinging slap to your ass then bit kisses into your shoulder right as you came undone for the second time, and Jisung’s eyes rolled to the back of his head once he came inside you at the very same moment. Your velvet walls tightened around his ribbons of cum inside and you collapsed against his gasping chest to warm him after his release.

Changbin set himself loose, groaning out loudly as he came too, and shook with delighted laughter that was mixed up in his happy little “oh’s.” and the hitch of his breath. His restless hands caressed every inch of your body that he could as he brought himself down, finally bowing down to kiss right into your shoulder blades and back. Jisung called out his boyfriend’s name too while he shook around him.

You coaxed yourself free of Jisung’s dick and Changbin wondered in the way that Jisung and made a creamy mess of your pussy. He then did the same watching how his seed spilled out of Jisung as well.

“Wow.”

The three of your sweating bodies clambered flat onto the mattress and the room fell quiet, leaving space for your breaths and the way that the spring evening sounded outside of your window: distant car horns, the hush of the breeze, the ebb and flow of the early arrival of cicadas.

“Are you okay?” Changbin asked the both of you with worried hands running over both of your sweating forms.

“Y-yeah. I am.” You smiled.

Jisung shied his flushed face with one of the bedsheets. “Me too.”

“I think...if you’d like, maybe the three of us could kind of, sorta, I dunno, stay connected for a little bit?” Changbin smoothed down the little hairs on your arm with the gentlest touch.

“If Y/n wants to?”

You exhaled peacefully into both of your boyfriends arms, and gave them a little hum to say yes. Changbin carefully wetted his dick with your slick, then guided himself into you pussy with his half hard dick, and it felt like a dream. Jisung too took a bit of lube in his hand as well, then pumped his dick with a shiver to then slide himself into your ass. The two of them swept over your body with light and fleeting kisses to your neck, shoulders, cheeks, nose and lips. You stayed the same: wonderfully full, and so close to them that it must’ve been unreal. While it hurt a little how they had stretched you out, you wiggled your hips still to feel even more of it. Your boyfriends sighed out at the feeling.

“Sweetheart, you do that any more and you’re gonna make us want to fuck you again.” Changbin scoffed.

“What if I want you to?” You traced the way that his deep brown hair curved over his ear. “What if I want you to fuck me like this...close...slowly...?”

“Sung?”

“If she wants to, I want to as well.”

Changbin held your hips firmly under the blanket, then started his slow thrusts into you with his dick that indulgently grew hard once more.

He whispered the promise over your lips, “We can do that for you baby.”

You don’t know how long the three of you had remained as such. Time became nothing of your concern as the night slipped on and both of them took every ounce of their time with you, slowly fucking up into your pussy and ass, the sounds of your slick renewed filled up the room. They brought out a couple more shaking orgasms from your core, each of them followed by careful kisses to soothe your shaking body.

“Such a good girl for us.” Jisung nibbled into your ear. His hand got tangled with the sheets too where he reached around to twist your nipples between his fingers.

“How do you want it baby? Do you want it inside?”

Changbin’s skin filled up your palm, then you slung a leg over his hip so he could hit your g-spot perfectly.

“P-please?”

“Of course. Sung?”

“--Mm-m’ close too.”

A few more moments of your symphonic moans, and you unfolded between them: one last orgasm that was so encompassing that you had slipped right into a space so safe, that you felt as if nothing in the world could touch you. Changbin finished off with unexpectedly adorable sounding grunt, and he throbbed within you to the tune of Jisung doing the same.

“Shit.” Jisung giggled, then nuzzled his head right into the nape of your neck.

“How was that angel?”

“Do you even need to ask?”

The three of you found solace in the skin on skin of it all: three people, three bodies that could be closer than two bodies ever could.

“Ready to clean off in our big-ass shower?” Jisung wiggled you in his giant hug.

“Small shower no more.”

“The problem is, who’s gonna get up first to get the water running?”

Condensation dripped down the windows, and the curtains blew softly with the spring air invading the room and carrying the smell of flowers and the mist lingering in grass.

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

Water dripped like rain over the pink of muscles and intermingled with the iridescent drops of soap bubbles which held little rainbows in and of themselves. Hair slicked to the sides of faces, and transparent streams coursed down the simple breaths on rising chests. Steam filled up your lungs, a reminder that it was all real.

You were here with them. It wasn’t some kind of dream that you had painted while in that room alone with yourself and the buzzing of a TV speaking in tongues that you didn’t know.

Even though they said nothing, but rather touched your body down, you could hear their thoughts like a melody.

They loved every bit of you, and it was written on their faces times two.

~🌹~

Bunch of (Ro)ses!

@minaamhh @dazzlehoseok @synnocence @jjewibeans @hyunsluvv @unexceptional-h @bobawithchaitea @lechanters @sailorhyunjinz @silencefavarchive @eunaeiekim @julesinthesoop

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jayeray-hq · 3 years

Text

Bass Down Low

Hey everyone! Welcome to my part of the new NSFW Anilysium Server Collab! The theme for it this time is "Band/Tattoo/Badass"! Please check out some of the other amazing writers and artists in the collab by following the link!

If you like my writing for Terushima, check out my other stories in his character masterlist!

Tattooed Bass Guitar Player Terushima x Sassy Confident fem!reader

Tiny tiny bit of angst, but mostly fluff and smut

Warnings: NSFW 18+ minors dni! Grinding, dry humping, making out, slight exhibitionism, switch Terushima, switch reader, male nipple piercings, cock piercing, blowjobs, cunnilingus, overstimulation, vaginal sex, biting, scratching/pain kink

13K+ words

You could feel the bass as it thrummed through the air, making your whole body feel like it was vibrating. The energy was absolutely electric as you soaked in the music and the wild energy of the crowd as it pulsed and moved around you. Bodies were packed in fairly close and you could feel sweat dripping down your back, sticking to your neck and dewing at your temples.

Glancing over you saw your friend sandwiched between two good looking people clearly having the time of her life, lips locked with the person in front of her as they all ground together. You huffed in amusement, glad the two of you had already agreed you’d need to find your way home separately, otherwise you had the feeling you might’ve accidentally been left behind, that or you’d be the awkward third party to whatever was going on there.

Still despite how difficult leaving was going to be, and the sticky feeling of your clothes on your sweaty skin you didn’t regret coming for a minute. You’d been looking forward to coming to this music festival for ages and now that you were finally here you couldn’t get enough. Some of your favorite bands had played, and there were going to be even more in the coming days, you couldn’t wait.

You let yourself move with the music, swirling and rocking your hips, hands in the air as a bubble of laughter burst from your lips. You felt almost drunk on euphoria despite not touching a single drop of alcohol. You’d decided early on not to drink anything but water because you didn’t want to miss or forget a single moment of the experience.

A warm hand settled on your waist, pulling you out of your rhythm and you glanced back, to see someone standing behind you. It was full dark out, the only lights the ones coming from the stage, and a few overhead. However, despite the darkness you could make out an angular jaw, dark eyes and the golden color of his hair, along with the black ink creeping out of the neckline of his tank and up his throat, and spiraling down his shoulders and arms.

Just the sight of all that pretty ink was enough to make you feel incredibly attracted to the stranger, but the fact that he hadn’t come right up and started grinding on you without so much as a by-your-leave was definitely a bonus in your book, a courtesy you fully intended to reward as you rocked your ass back into the cradle of his hips, grinding yourself into him.

“I’ll take that to mean I can dance with you, sexy?” he half-asked, half-shouted in order to be heard over the music.

You didn’t bother to respond verbally, not wanting to shout to be heard, instead flashing him a smile, and grabbing hold of his other hand setting it easily on the curve of your waist. You noted with fascination and a pulse of liquid heat that he was wearing several rings on his fingers and had tattoos on his hands as well.

He was a surprisingly good dancer, his body moving fluidly with yours, hands resting solidly on your hips, just enough to flow without taking control of your movements. They never strayed from your hips either, remaining firmly in place as the two of you moved. You lifted your hands into the air and leaned back against his chest, finding a solid wall of lean muscle as you hooked one of your arms around his neck and curling your fingers through the surprisingly silky strands at the back of his head.

Your entire body felt hot, and when you turned to look at him, the intense look in his dark eyes sent a pulse of desire through you. You weren’t sure if it was the music, the adrenaline, or the heat of his hands on your hips, but you surged forward to press your mouth to his.

He met you eagerly, his mouth hot against yours, as you continued to grind back into him automatically. The hands on your hips pulled you closer removing any distance between the two of you, so that your ass was pressed right up against the cradle of his hips, and you could feel his solid length, hard against your rear.

You moaned into his mouth, incredibly turned on, as he took over the rhythm of your grinding, taking advantage of your open mouth to tease his tongue against your upper lip. You immediately jerked back in surprise, pulling yourself out of his grip so you could turn around.

It was hard to tell, but you thought your dance partner looked startled by your sudden departure, his hands raised as if to show he meant you no harm. You weren’t at all worried about that though, thoroughly distracted by what you’d thought you felt, You surged forward, guided by the press of the crowd and looped your arms around his neck.

Closer now you could see his eyebrows arched in surprise, a glint of wariness in his eyes that disappeared as your hand caressed his jaw, thumb gently pressing on his lower lip in question. He immediately flashed you a cocky smirk, and opened for you, sticking out his tongue and revealing the metal you’d felt against your lip.

“That’s so hot,” you told him, your lips pressed close to his ear so he could hear you.

“I know,” he shouted back with a smirk, before surging forward to reclaim your lips again.

You met him eagerly, immediately opening your mouth, eager to see what he could do with the enticing piece of jewelry through his tongue. He didn’t disappoint, tongue twining and rubbing against yours, the slick sensation of metal strange but not at all unpleasant as he teased it expertly over your tongue.

You hummed in delight as you twined your arms around his neck, fingers running through his hair as you pressed yourself tightly up against him, not even bothering with the music anymore, thoroughly distracted by the taste and feel of him against you.

His hands dipped lower, sliding into the back pockets of your jeans and when you didn’t protest he began to knead your ass, using his grip to hold you tight to his hips and press himself against your belly. You leaned against him, bracing more of your weight so you could lift one of your legs and wrap it around his hips, earning a groan of pleasure that you felt more than heard, the sound rumbling through his chest.

Your hands dipped lower, feeling the strong muscle of his back, and letting your head tip to the side, as he pressed open mouthed kisses along your jaw, nipping at the sensitive skin as his lips found the column of your throat. Breathy sighs and gasps left your lips as you ground your hips against him, seeking friction for your aching cunt. You could feel how wet you were, and were suddenly grateful you’d worn shorts rather than a skirt otherwise you would’ve been dripping down your thighs.

You whined as he found the perfect spot on your neck, hands digging into his back as he nipped and sucked at it, teasing it with the smooth metal of his piercing as his hands guided your hips in just the right way to stimulate your clit, the seam of your shorts pressing into you deliciously with every movement of his hips.

Your whole body felt like it was on fire, and you were absolutely sure you could come just like this. Unfortunately right as you were about to reach your peak the roar of the crowd took an upswing, and you realized the band that had been playing was finished. You grimaced at having to stop, but figured you owed the band its due recognition. They’d been very good, and so you applauded and cheered along with the rest of the crowd.

The announcer told you there would be a quick fifteen-minute break before the next set, and you turned toward your dance partner, an offer to leave together and finish what you’d started on the tip of your tongue only to find the most horrified look on his face. Your heart dropped, wondering if you’d somehow done something wrong as his face swiveled between you and the stage.

You’d been about to back away, thinking you might as well use the crowd to escape the awkward situation you were in, when he surged forward to grip your hand.

“Come with me?” he half-asked, half-demanded, a determined light in his eyes that made you a bit nervous.

“Come with you where?” you asked, suddenly wary despite the fact that you’d been about to offer the same thing just seconds ago.

“I don’t really have time to explain,” he told you sheepishly, “But I swear you’re safe with me. Just trust me for a bit and I’ll show you exactly what this baby can do.”

He waggled his tongue at you for emphasis, brandishing his piercing, and you couldn’t help the snort of amusement that left you. You searched his face for a few seconds, but in the end decided, despite his slightly rougher appearance that there was an earnestness in his gaze that you felt could be trusted.

“All right,” you agreed, “But if you try anything funny I’ll kick your ass.”

“That’s hot,” he told you, a little wide-eyed and clearly lustful, not the reaction you were expecting, “I knew you were something special little miss sexy. Don’t worry, the only thing you might have to be afraid of is how any other man will measure up after you’ve had me.”

You huffed a laugh at that, amused despite yourself, and a little turned on by his confidence, as you agreed, “Well then, how could I say no to an offer like that? Lead the way then mister hot shot.

He flashed you a delighted grin that was more boyish and charming than you’d expected as he moved to do as he was told, keeping a strong grip on your hand as he expertly weaved his way through the crowd. You got a little worried when he started to lead you out and around, worried about the slowly thinning herd of people, which would mean a lack of witnesses if something went wrong.

However, he didn’t lead you out and away, instead pulling you towards a security guard who was chatting with a worried looking man with neat dark hair and glasses, whose eyes were darting around, clearly searching for something or someone.

His worried look faded away into relieved exasperation as he spotted the two of you, his eyes skimming over you briefly before turning all his attention to the man dragging you along by the hand, “Terushima! How many times do I have to tell you, you can’t just go wandering off right before the set starts!”

“Relax Anabara,” your guide, whose name was apparently Terushima, told the older man, far too casually for someone who was being lectured, “I got back in time didn’t I?”

“Barely,” Anabara hissed back, “you’re cutting it awfully close. Why do you need to go wandering off anyway?”

“Wanted to get a look at the stage and get a feel for the crowd,” he admitted with a shrug and a grin, “Energy’s way hot tonight, and I managed to run into someone interesting too.”

That immediately redirected both of their attention to you. You were still clutching Terushima’s hand, but were starting to feel like you shouldn’t be, as you finally put two and two together, your hold on him loosening slightly in response as you turned to him and blurted, “You’re in a band?!”

“You’re looking at Johzenji’s best bass player, and main song writer,” he told you smugly, a pleased smirk on his face.

You tried to find words, but couldn’t, utterly flabbergasted. You’d heard of Johzenji, an up and coming band who had a wild energetic sound, and you’d listened to and liked some of their music in preparation for the festival, but you hadn’t actually looked up the band members themselves.

“The rest of the band is waiting,” Anabara told him, clear impatience in his voice as he gestured for the blond to follow, “The rest are all warming up, you need to be out there too.”

“Yeah, yeah keep your hair on,” Terushima told him with a smirk before turning to you, “Come on, I’ll get you all settled backstage, it’ll be the best seat in the house I promise.”

“I’m not so sure that’s a good idea,” you told him, grip loosening on his hand in preparation to let go, acutely aware of the disapproving gaze of Anabara, who you assumed was a manager of some sort, boring into the side of your head.

“It’s not that I don’t appreciate the offer,” you told him hurriedly, as the smirk slipped off his face leaving something disbelieving and a little hurt in its place, one that tugged your heartstrings, which was surprising considering you’d only known him for an hour or two at most, “But you need to get going. Good luck with the set I’m sure it’ll be amazing.”

“W-wait!” he managed to catch your hand before you’d completely tugged free, his eyes, which in the light you could now see were a pretty cinnamon brown color, were pleading as he asked, “Please come back with me? I know I sprang this on you out of the blue, but I really felt a connection with you. After the set, we’ll clear things up, so just come watch me okay?”

The more rational part of you wanted to scoff. He was really laying it on thick, cheesy line after cheesy line. You’d found each other in a crowd, danced and made out for a bit, that was all. So maybe you’d felt a little something too, it was the reason you’d let him lead you away from the crowd, but that was just the music, the energy of the crowd right?

Your eyes flitted to where Anabara was standing, but Terushima apparently caught your intention and shifted his hand to block your view, the tattooed appendage coming up to push a strand of hair behind your ear, this thumb caressing your jaw, eyes boring into yours as he asked, “Please?”

Against your better judgement you found yourself nodding, almost hypnotized by the incredibly attractive man, whose every touch seemed to send tingles of electricity through your veins. The smile he offered you was another of those delighted boyish grins and you found yourself tugged along behind him again. To your surprise Anabara didn’t bother to protest, simply shaking his head, sighing and following along behind the two of you.

It was incredibly busy backstage as everyone hustled around in a kind of coordinated chaos as one band left the stage and Johzenji got ready to enter. True to his word Terushima found you a spot that would give you a good view of most of the stage, pressed a water bottle into your hands and a quick surprisingly sweet kiss to your lips before bounding off, though not before assuring you, wide smug grin back on his face, that you were in for the ride of your life.

You watched as he bounded over to people who had to be his bandmates, idly sipping at your water, and taking everything in. One of the guys immediately captured Terushima in a headlock, playfully wrestling around for a bit, the group tussling together, before a sharp word from a pretty girl holding a clipboard sent them all scurrying off to warm-up.

For someone so seemingly lighthearted, Terushima was surprisingly serious as he started to warm up, picking up his black bass guitar, the yellow and white tribal pattern on the body a clear imitation of the ink that bloomed over his fingers. His face was extremely concentrated as talented fingers plucked at the strings, dancing over the instrument with ease and familiarity. It was incredibly attractive, and you couldn’t help pressing your water to your neck, hoping it would help cool you down a bit and stop you from salivating.

You were slowly but surely acclimatizing to the fact that he was in a band, your shock wearing off and leaving the burning attraction you’d felt from the very first moment he’d put his hands on you in the crowd bubbling to the surface again.

“Impressive, isn’t he?” the words jolted you out of your enraptured staring at his fingers, and made you realize the pretty girl from before had come to stand next to you. She was still holding her clipboard, and her eyes weren’t on you, but on the band flitting between members, clearly checking in on them.

“I mean yes?” you said hesitantly, unsure why she’d decided to speak to you, and a little uncomfortable with the look on her face, which was set in a frown.

“So where’d he pick you up?” she asked sharply, clear disapproval in her eyes as she turned toward you, “The parking lot? Hanging around the trailers? Get caught sneaking back stage? Let me tell you something groupie, you’re not going to get anything else from Terushima or from Johzenji, so enjoy the show or whatever, but make sure you get lost after.”

“What?” you asked, baffled, but unwilling to allow yourself to be cowed in the face of her tirade as you snapped back, “As a matter of fact I was out in the audience minding my own business. I didn’t even know who Johzenji was before I got tickets to this music festival! I didn’t know who Terushima was until Anabara said something, he was the one who came up to dance with me not the other way around, so I suggest you back up with your assumptions.”

The girl looked surprised, brown eyes wide in her pretty face as you huffed out an annoyed sigh, your displeasure overtaking your more base urges once again as you questioned whether you should be there. A quick glance at Terushima showed he was still entirely focused on his warm-up, he didn’t look like he’d notice anything let alone you.

You didn’t belong here, and both Anabara and whoever this girl was had made it pretty clear you weren’t welcome either. It didn’t help that her words implied that Terushima brought girls back pretty often, so much for ‘feeling a connection’ it really had been the line it sounded like. You couldn’t help the slight bitterness of your thoughts as you wondered how many women he’d used it on before and feeling a bit stupid for falling for it.

If it looked like a duck, walked like a duck, and quacked like a duck, odds were it was a duck. Terushima looked like a stereotypical bad boy with an overinflated ego, swaggered like one, and even laid down stupid, misleading lines like one. While you’d technically only hoped to get a good lay out of this and nothing more, you did have standards.

That in mind you decided, no matter how good the music was or how exciting it had initially been to be back stage, it wasn’t worth it. Spinning on your heel you began to walk away, fully intent on writing it off as a bad night, and feeling more than a little bitter about how running into Terushima had decidedly ruined your night and your enjoyment of the festival.

“Where are you going?” the question was voiced by a familiar male voice, Anabara had apparently come up beside you some time while you were lost in your own head, making quiet plans to never support Johzenji ever again, “Surely Terushima told you not to wander around back here?”

“I’m leaving,” you informed him flatly, utterly fed up, “I wasn’t entirely comfortable coming back here in the first place, and now I’m even more uncomfortable, so if you could point me to the exit I’d appreciate it. Hell, you can even have security escort me to make sure I don’t do anything weird since you’re all apparently so paranoid about it, but I would very much like to never see you or anyone else involved with Johzenji ever again please and thank you.”

Anabara’s eyebrows, which had been settled in a disapproving frown, immediately flew upwards in shock, seemingly rendered speechless, though you weren’t sure if that was for your words or the rude tone you’d used. A part of you felt bad for it, but you were at the end of your rope, one make-out session and the promise of a night of good sex wasn’t worth all this drama no matter how talented he was with his tongue or the backstage pass he’d gotten you.

“You can’t leave,” the girl blurted out, hurriedly maneuvering in front of you and holding her arms out to seemingly block your path, “You have no idea what that will do to Terushima if he looks over and you’re not here! It’ll throw his entire performance off!”

“Weren’t you the one who just called me a groupie and implied I was some kind of whore he picked up in the parking lot?” you asked sarcastically, “Forgive me if I don’t give a shit.”

“Really Hana?” Anabara asked heaving a pained sigh at the girl, whose name was apparently Hana, “I understand not approving of Terushima’s habits, but this was neither the time nor the place, and she shouldn’t have been the one you brought it up to. It’s not her fault.”

You relaxed a bit at that, surprised but pleased, some of your anger seeping away. A lot of times women got blamed for men’s promiscuous behavior, when the man was the one to blame. You were glad to see it wasn’t actually like that here.

“You’re right,” Hana agreed, with a pained grimace before turning to you, “I apologize, I was rude. The last few women Terushima brought back either stole things, or decided to act crazy and possessive both with Terushima and with other band members. I shouldn’t have assumed.”

“It’s alright,” you assured her, even as your opinion of Terushima plummeted even further. If he had that kind of history no wonder she’d been so upset and on guard when she saw you. You would’ve been angry too if you had to deal with that, your anger with her leeching away, “Sounds like you’ve been through a lot.”

“You have no idea,” she told you fervently, heaving a sigh before pleading, “Please, will you stay? It really will throw Terushima off if you’re not here, and while he might deserve that, the some of the other band members don’t, and the audience certainly doesn’t.”

You grimaced, a little unsure. While you didn’t feel nearly as angry or bitter as before you also still had standards. If you stayed it would imply you wanted to have sex with him, which at this point was pretty much off the table.

“If it helps, Terushima may be a player with terrible taste in women, but he won’t pressure you if you say no after,” Hana assured you, apparently reading your mind.

Thinking about it, and the respectful way he’d danced with you, and kissed you always courteous you found you agreed with what she said, and before you knew it found yourself agreeing to stay, much to Hana and Anabara’s visible relief.

Hana quickly guided you back to your spot, and much friendlier now, began to explain some of the things that were going on as the band got set up. She also named the members for you as she realized you’d told the truth and didn’t actually know who any of them were. You found yourself liking the kind, if stern girl a lot, and the way she was clearly a huge fan, both of the band and the music they made, had you hyped up right along with her, ready to see what they could do.

The energy between her and the crowd which were starting to slowly become more and more hyped up as it became clear the band was going to start, was absolutely electric, and you could feel yourself getting hyped up again.

Terushima, who’d seemed to be in his own little world the moment he’d picked up his instrument, finally glanced up as the lead singer, who you suspected was Hana’s boyfriend from the way she’d gushed about him earlier, tapped him on the shoulder clearly asking if he was ready.

Even from the distance you were at you could see the cockiness in Terushima’s smirk as someone plugged him into the amplifier. His fingers immediately moved over the strings, playing a dizzying array of notes and cords in quick succession, the sound loud enough to feel in your bones earning an immediate roar of approval from the audience, which somehow sounded even louder from the stage than it had been when you were standing with them.

Terushima gave the audience a tongue lolling grin flashing his piercing to them, his eyes cutting over to where you were standing with Hana. You raised an eyebrow at him finding yourself drawn in, in spite of yourself giving him a challenging smirk of your own and a ‘bring it on’ gesture clearly inviting him to give you this so called ‘ride of your life’ that he’d promised your before. He looked shocked for a second before a wide grin crossed his face, clearly accepting your challenge.

You watched a little enthralled, the way good music always made you feel as they started to play their set, your hips beginning to rock automatically to the sound of the bass. Up close you could see why Johzenji was shooting to the top, it was clear they were all talented and passionate about their music throwing themselves into it with everything they had.

However, despite wanting to look at the others your eyes seemed almost magnetized to Terushima, drawn back to him each and every time no matter what. It was clear he was having the time of his life, jumping all around the stage, flashing that pierced tongue, his dexterous fingers working over the strings of his instrument in a way that was utterly enthralling as a part of you wondered if his skill with his fingers might translate over to something a little more carnal.

It didn’t help that he kept glancing over at you, his gaze clearly a challenge daring you to try to look away from him. There was something hot and heavy in his eyes, something that told you the answer to your question was yes, and that he couldn’t wait to show you.

You could feel yourself getting almost unbearably hot in a way that had nothing to do with the heat of the lights bleeding off the stage, or the summer night air, your body seemingly pulsing in time to the music and the notes of his bass guitar. The air practically electric, your skin hypersensitive as if you could feel the waves of sound on your skin.

You hadn’t realized their set was long enough that they were doing a fifteen minute intermission of sorts where band members would chat one by one with the audience, talking about their music and answering a few fan questions they’d gotten on their Tweeter account.

Thus you were entirely unprepared when Terushima set down his instrument and came bounding off stage. You barely had time to blink before he was on you, strong hands finding your hips, slipping into the back pockets of your jean shorts to grope your ass as he pulled you close.

His lips were on yours before you’d really had time to process, and you found yourself returning his kiss enthusiastically, unable to resist his magnetism and the electric feeling of his hands on you and his lips on yours. One of your hands tangled with his hair and you tugged it, not caring a bit about the sweat slicked strands, well aware you were equally sweaty, too enraptured by the heat between the two of you to care about a little sweat.

It was only when a loud cough broke through your lustful haze that you remembered that you weren’t supposed to be kissing Terushima at all. You quickly pulled away, kicking yourself, both for your loss of composure and for making a scene in front of all his bandmates outside the lead singer, who was the only one on stage at the moment, and Hana who was watching the two of you with raised eyebrows.

“So you’re the girl huh?” one of his bandmates asked, eying you with interest.

“Yes, she’s female,” Hana cut in, to your relief, “And you can gawk later, you have less than ten minutes to get yourselves refreshed so you can take over and Okudake can have his well-deserved break too.”

Terushima groaned, and while Hana’s stern look sent the others scrambling to obey, he was clearly more resistant as he refused to let go, clinging on to you in a way that almost would’ve been cute if you hadn’t cottoned on to what a womanizer he was.

“Well?” Hana demanded, hands on hips, “You heard me Terushima, get a move on.”

“Go on,” you urged, moving to extract yourself from his hold.

“No way!” he protested, turning betrayed eyes on you, his grip firming for just a minute before reluctantly starting to loosen, “You haven’t even told me how amazing I am yet.”

“I guess you’re not bad,” you told him with a casual shrug, unable to resist teasing even as the more rational part of you was screaming about how this was a terrible idea, and that you had no plans of having any sort of relationship with him sexual or not, so shouldn’t be flirting with him.

“Not bad?” He squawked, clearly outraged, “I’ll show you not bad little miss sexy, I told you I’m gonna rock your entire world.”

“You’re not going to be rocking anything if you collapse from dehydration hot stuff,” you informed him dryly, shoving at his chest until he let go, though he was clearly pouting about it, “Go. Water, snacks, refresh, move it.”

“You’re as cruel as Hana,” Terushima told you, sulkily, before plastering on another cocky smirk as he acquiesced, “But fine, I’ll do what you say, so long as you promise not to take your eyes off me for the second half of the set.”

“Sure, sure,” you agreed with a casual eye roll, unable to keep amusement from bleeding into your voice as you ushered him away. He went, though not without one last toe curling kiss and a quick grope of your ass.

“You’re really good with him,” Hana’s speculative voice distracted you from watching Terushima walk away, and you felt heat in your cheeks as you realized she’d caught you gawking at him.

“I uh….” You floundered, trying to find the words to defend yourself, especially when you’d been so adamant before about not having sex with Terushima.

“It’s okay you know,” she assured you, a strange look on her face that you couldn’t quite decipher, “You wouldn’t be the first to get swept up in his charisma, and no one could blame you for having a casual fling. I certainly can’t judge given my own relationship.”

She had a point. It was your body after all and one night couldn’t hurt, especially with the chemistry between the two of you, still you did have some concerns.

“He’s clean if you were wondering,” Hana informed you casually, apparently fully able to read your mind despite only knowing you for an hour or two at most, “Terushima’s always been a player, but he’s also always been meticulous about his health, and the reputation of the band. He may act like an irresponsible idiot when it comes to women, but the band means a lot to him.”

“He does seem really passionate about it,” you acknowledged, refusing to think about the heat in your cheeks or the way your eyes kept coming back to Terushima as he hurriedly gulped down his drink and horsed around a bit with the drummer before charging back out on stage to interact with the audience.

“The band means everything to all of them,” Hana told you, with a fond smile for Okudake who only paused for a moment to kiss her cheek before heading for refreshments, confirming your suspicions about their relationship, “It’s their dream.”

“I can see that,” you mused thoughtfully, watching as Terushima practically bounced around the stage like a child on a sugar high, hyping up the audience like none other.

“I think maybe I might’ve given you the wrong impression earlier,” she admitted, the words making you pull your attention away from Terushima and focus solely on her, “Terushima isn’t actually a bad guy, he’s just terrible when it comes to women he likes. Despite how he looks he can be an absolute sweetheart.”

“You know you’re going to confuse me with all this changing around you keep doing,” you teased lightly, “Before I thought you would rather I burn at the stake rather than have sex with Terushima and now it almost sounds like you’re encouraging me to go for it.”

“I didn’t know you earlier,” Hana dismissed, a flush in her cheeks, clearly a bit uncomfortable with your observation even as she tacked on, more to herself than to you, “And I’ve never seen him interact like that with a woman before.”

You didn’t get the chance to question her about it, or really process what she’d said as the band took that minute to start the music back up, and the audience gave a lively roar. Terushima gave you an almost too conspicuous wink and a cocky smirk before turning back to what he did best, tattooed fingers flying over the strings again.

Once more you got caught up in the beat, the rhythm of his bass as it hummed through your body, and the heated looks he threw your way whenever he got a spare second, clearly checking to make sure he had all of your attention. You lost yourself in it, you were here to enjoy the music, and like hell were you going to let anything, even your preoccupation with the sexy bass player, get in the way of that.

It seemed like the whole thing ended far too soon, as the last chords faded into the night, the roar of the crowd as the band gave their goodbyes almost deafening in conjunction with the fireworks going off overhead. The minute the lights were down, the band members quickly passed off their instruments as staff, including Hana, swarmed the stage, ready to begin tear down for the evening.

Johzenji had been the last band scheduled for the night, which meant everyone would be going home. The buzzing of your phone reminded you of your friend and a quick glance confirmed your earlier suspicions, that she was going home with one or both of her earlier dance partners. You sent a quick text back urging her to be safe, and hesitated for a long moment before finally telling her that you had your own hook-up for the night.

She congratulated you, and you grinned, amused and fond, sliding your phone back into your pocket and just in time as Terushima’s hands snagged you around the waist, pulling you close again. There was a delighted smile on his face, open and boyish that told you how incredibly pleased he was with himself and his performance, and looking at it you knew in that moment you’d lost the internal debate. No way were you going to be able to walk away, not when he was looking at you like that.

You could vaguely hear his bandmates wolf whistling at the two of you as you pulled him down to kiss, tangling your fingers in his sweaty hair, but ignored them entirely, too intent on the humming electricity between the two of you and his hot wet mouth, the feel of his piercing a sensation you were coming to adore as you flicked it with your tongue.

His hands were all over you, roaming your back and occasionally dipping lower to knead your ass, his firm chest pressed tightly against your own. You could feel his hard length, fully aroused and clearly more than ready for you, pressed firmly into you, the idea of it making your body clench with need, wetness soaking your panties.

“Oy, get a room,” Hana’s voice cut in, clear exasperation in every word, catching your attention as the two of you parted for breath, “No one wants to see that!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Terushima told her casually, rolling his eyes a bit, though you shot her a sheepish look, earning an amused one in return, before being thoroughly distracted again by the sexy blond bass player as he released you just enough so that he could snag your hand, and you found yourself tugged along behind him for the second time that night as he told you, “Come on little miss sexy, let’s see if I can’t give you that ride I promised you.”

“Lead on then hot shot,” you told him with a laugh, only pausing to shoot a quick wave at Hana, who just shook her head in clear exasperation, though you thought there was something of a smile on her lips too.

This time you weren’t nearly so worried about following him, and weren’t too concerned when he led you back and away to a parking lot that was full of trailers with few if any people. Even without knowing him for too long you could tell which was his at a glance, considering the outside was covered in stylized graffiti that read Johzenji surrounded by tribal work.

It didn’t take him long to fumble the door open and lead you inside, and you were relieved to find that the interior was apparently nice enough for air conditioning. It wasn’t much, a queen sized bed, bathroom, and a couch with recording equipment and various instruments scattered everywhere, but it was better than you’d been expecting. Honestly you thought he might’ve shared space with the other members of his band, and were pleased to find it wasn’t true, mostly because you’d hate the idea of kicking someone out just so you could get laid.

You didn’t get much more time to think about it as you were immediately distracted by Terushima, who’d attached his mouth to your neck the second the door had been closed and locked behind the two of you, nibbling and sucking at the sensitive column of your throat. You let out a low moan as he nipped at your collarbone, fingers twisted in the fabric of his black tank, digging into the strong muscle of his back and shoulders.

A gasping moan escaped your lips as he sucked at your collarbone, his hot mouth like a brand against your skin in the almost too cool trailer. You slid your hands down his back, eager to get your hands on his skin, and to see more of the ink that adorned his body, slipping your hands under his tank and tugging upwards.

Terushima seemed to get the hint, giving you a smug look as he pulled away just enough for you to tug the damp fabric up and over his head. His torso was nicely toned, lean but firm with muscle, and adorned in black ink that crept downwards from his neck, covering his upper chest and shoulders, though you noted his abs were bare.

Your fingers automatically moved to touch, tracing the lines down from his neck, and over his shoulders, utterly fascinated. It was beautiful work, a mix of tribal and Japanese style work. He shivered slightly, though whether that was from your touch or from the cool air on his warm skin you couldn’t tell.

You probably could’ve spent hours exploring his tattoos, and would’ve except you got distracted by the glint of metal. Bright silver barbells glinted in each of his dusky colored nipples, catching all your attention, and sending a jolt of heat through you as you wondered if he had anything else pierced.

“Like what you see?” Terushima asked, his voice full of smug superiority as he brushed a teasing hand down his chest, a cocky smirk on his face.

A part of you really wanted to wipe that look off his face, and you thought you might know just how to do it. You hooked your fingers through the belt loops of Terushima’s jeans and tugged him forward by them, earning a delighted chuckle from the man before you reclaimed his mouth.

Your hands immediately went to his abdomen, gently scraping your nails over the ridges of his abs and earning a full body shudder from the man, who’d buried one of his talented hands in your hair, the other caressing your side.

The feel of muscle under your fingers as you skimmed your palms up his chest, letting his pebbled nipples catch on the webbing between your fingers, teasing the nubs gently between your fingers earning a low needy moan from Terushima, his hips thrusting into yours, reminding you how utterly hard he was and sending a burst of heat through you.

You pulled your lips away from his, earning a discontent whine from the man until he felt your lips on his throat. He tilted his head with a low groan, allowing you full access without protest, as you traced your lips over his tattoos. His skin tasted like salt from the sweat, but it wasn’t unpleasant, as he smelled clean beneath it, something warm and masculine that made your passage clench with want, and need.

Your hands roamed down his sides, and over his back, unable to keep yourself from touching him as you sucked and nipped at the junction of his neck, adoring the quiet moans and breathy gasps from his lips. His hand in your hair was gentle, not guiding or pushing simply allowing you to do as you pleased with him even as his fingers gently tugged, his grip occasionally tightening in a way you found extremely arousing whenever you nipped at him or found a particularly sensitive spot. You continued your exploration downward tracing a path down to his collarbone then lower across his pectorals and finally to your goal.

“Aw fuck,” Terushima whined as you pulled his pebbled nipple into your mouth sucking at the sensitive nub, swirling your tongue around it and playing with the metal piercing as your other hand found his other nipple, fingers toying with the matching barbell, unable to keep your hands away from it.

“Hng! You like those little miss sexy?” he teased, though he was breathless enough that it barely constituted teasing, “I knew you couldn’t keep your hands off me, should’ve known from the way you acted when you got my tongue piercing, but if you like that wait until you see my…”

He cut himself off with a whine as you teased him with your teeth, gently scraping them over the sensitive nub and tugging at it carefully as your other hand gently flicked and tugged at his piercing. You were a bit curious about what he’d been about to say, though you had a sneaking suspicion you’d find out when you got him completely naked.

Curious, you decided to stop playing with his piercings for now and began to kiss your way down his chest, bracing your hands on his sides so you could slowly lower yourself, tracing your thumbs over the sharp v of his hipbones as you traced his treasure trail to where his pants were sitting low on his hips.

You carefully scraped your teeth over the taught skin, kissing and suckling hard, well aware you were going to leave marks and not caring in the slightest that unlike the ones you’d undoubtedly left on his neck and chest, these were going to be much more visible due to his lack of tattoos there.

“Fuck, you’re so fuckin’ sexy,” Terushima praised with a shudder as he stared down at you, pupils blown wide and lust written all over his face, a loud groan leaving his lips as you cupped his erection through his pants, teasingly stroking it through the material as you looked up at him, unable to help the smirk curling your lips at the sight of him, his lips puffy and swollen from kisses, hair damp and sticking to his forehead and beautiful inked skin glistening with perspiration.

Looking at him, you could see how he coaxed so many women into his bed, between his looks and his musical ability it was no wonder he was so cocky. Still despite how many people he’d been with before he was with you at the moment and you were going to make the most of it.

Your fingers deftly undid the button and zipper of his pants and you turned to look up at Terushima amused and a little shocked as you asked, “You go commando on stage?”

“What can I say,” he told you with a proud smirk, “I’m a rebel.”

You huffed out an amused laugh and ran a teasing finger up his shaft, gently stroking the underside his twitching cock which had left precum smeared inside his pants and his lower abdomen. Just as you’d suspected there were piercings here as well, a Jacob’s ladder of three separate barbells, right under the head.

The sight left your mouth watering, and you licked your lips, fully intent on blowing his mind, and playing with those lovely piercings, but when you went to lean forward you were stopped by the grip he still had on your hair.

“Something the matter?” you asked, genuinely concerned as your hands stroked at his strongly muscled thighs, the gesture meant to be soothing as you peered up at him and asked, “Do you not want me to suck your cock hot shot?”

“There is nothing more that I want right now than to have that sexy mouth of yours all over me,” he told you, the low rasp of his voice and his lust darkened gaze utterly convincing, “But I said I was going to give you the ride of your life little miss sexy and I intend to follow through on it.”

“Oh?” you asked teasingly, thumbs tracing over the sensitive place where his thighs met his hips, “You think you can?”

“You have no idea what you’re in for,” he told you with a cocky smirk, one that fell away into a full body shudder as you leaned forward, grasping his leaking cock at the base and running your tongue teasingly along the underside.

“I think you’re the one who doesn’t know what they’re in for,” you told him, with a smirk of your own as you stroked your hand upward and used your thumb to tease the sensitive place where the barbells passed through the skin right under the head earning a low moan.

“Maybe not,” he admitted, as he recovered, a grin on his face that was boyish and reckless, “But I won’t know until I try.”

Amused and intrigued you let him go and allowed him to pull you to your feet and reclaim your mouth with his, reminding you just how skilled he was with his tongue as he kicked off his pants, shoes and socks and began to talk you slowly backwards towards the bed. He proved to be either extremely coordinated or practiced or both as he managed to coax you out of almost all of your clothes except your soaked panties by the time the back of your knees hit the bed.

You let yourself fall backwards, plopping on to the surprisingly comfortable mattress, and smiling into Terushima’s kiss unable to pull yourself away, thoroughly distracted by his talented mouth and the warm hands that were skimming up and down your sides, thumbs occasionally teasingly skimming the undersides of your breasts.

You held him to you, his face cradled in your hands as he crouched over you, one knee braced on the bed, and the other still planted on the floor as his hands dipped lower, finding the waistband of your panties, and teasing his fingers along the edge.

“What are you waiting for,” you teased between kisses, “A written invitation?”

“Only your permission little miss sexy,” he teased right back with a smug grin, hooking his fingers through the elastic and giving a gentle tug.

Something about his tattooed fingers in contrast with the pretty lace panties you’d decided to wear was extremely hot and sent a surge of lust through you, as you lifted your hips and watched as he peeled the sodden lace away from your soaked core.

As they fell away his hands came back up to your thighs, and you couldn’t look away from the contrast of his darkly inked hands, adorned with several silver rings glinting against your smooth thighs.

You didn’t protest as he gently pushed them open, revealing how utterly soaked you were, instead leaning back on your elbows and spreading them further to give him a better view.

“Fuck,” he hissed eyes riveted on your most intimate parts as if he was unable to look away, his pierced tongue darting out to wet his lips, and his eyes dark with desire, “You’re so fucking sexy.”

“You’re not so bad yourself hot shot,” you countered even as his words and the hungry look on his face sent a surge of heat through you.

“I’m gonna eat you out so good you’re going to be screaming my name,” he promised, his thumbs caressing the sensitive skin of your inner thighs as he started to drop to his knees.

“Ah-ah,” you scolded, pulling yourself away, scooting backwards on the bed and away from him.

“You don’t want it?” he asked, looking a cross between shocked and a toddler who’d been denied his favorite treat.

“The only way you get your face between these thighs is if I get that lovely pierced cock in my mouth,” you informed him challengingly, holding out your hand to him in a clear gesture to come join you on the bed.

His face immediately lit up, a wicked grin on his face as he agreed, “Sounds like a fair deal to me sexy lady.”

It took him less than a second to join you on the bed, and he agreeably laid back for you, hands folded behind his head, body on clear display without an inch of shame, the smirk on his face telling you he was well aware how hot he looked spread out like that, all pale skin, dark ink, and silver piercings, he practically oozed bad boy sex appeal.

“Got your seat all ready for you,” he goaded, tapping his lips and wiggling that pierced tongue at you enticingly.

You laughed in helpless amusement, earning a tongue lolling grin in turn from the sexy bass player, who was clearly unbothered and supremely confident in a way you couldn’t help but find incredibly attractive.

He coaxed you up , letting you straddle his face, his head propped up on the pillows to make things easier, his face pressed into your thigh, nipping and suckling at the sensitive skin as you got yourself settled and being thoroughly distracting, though not for long as you wrapped a hand around the base of his weeping cock, the head drooling precum.

He let out a muffled groan as you slowly began to stroke him, licking your hand to help ease your passage as you stroked him, soothing your thumb over the place where the barbells passed through his skin with ever stroke and teasing your fingers along the head, massaging the weeping slit teasingly with your index finger.

Terushima didn’t let you completely take control though, and the first swipe of his tongue made you jolt in surprise, the feel of that little piercing completely foreign as the smooth ball dragged across your sodden folds. It was like nothing you’d ever felt before, and you had the strangest feeling he might actually fulfill his promise of giving you the ride of a lifetime, as he dove in eagerly.

He lapped and sucked at the lips of your cunt, the slurping noises he was making utterly obscene as he held your hips firmly in place, keeping you still as he ate you out with enthusiasm and a skill you had to admit he was right to be proud of. Every stroke of his tongue lit your nerves on fire as he teased it around your clit, lightly flicking the sensitive bundle of nerves and varying up his strokes and the pressure with every swipe, enough to make your thighs tremble and to make you grateful you weren’t attempting to stand or you were sure your knees would’ve given out.

You weren’t about to let him take over entirely though, instead lowering your mouth to his cock and beginning to tease the weeping slit with your tongue as you continued to stroke him, flicking each of the barbell heads in turn and sucking at the sensitive ridge around the head.

The low moan he let out as you popped the head into your mouth and began to suck sent immediate vibrations to your drenched pussy, making you moan in turn, the feeling of it indescribable as he lapped at your folds sucking at the sensitive lips and thrusting his tongue into your weeping hole.

The feel of his piercings grazing against the roof of your mouth was a new one, but not unpleasant as you took as much of him into your mouth as you could, stroking what you couldn’t reach with one hand the other tracing light teasing circles with your thumb on his inner thigh.

Skilled fingers parted your lower lips as his tongue teased your clit, slipping one finger then two into your hole, making your walls flutter and clench around the intrusion. You moaned as he proved to be just as skilled with his fingers as you’d wondered earlier when you saw him playing his instrument, playing you just as skillfully with the perfect pressure, and movement to hit just right as he crooked his fingers into the soft tissue at the front of your passage that instantly had you seeing stars your whole body convulsing in his hold.

You completely lost track of what you were meant to be doing as you keened, his fingers refusing to let up as he continued to tease them in and out of your rippling passage, his tongue equally relentless. You weren’t sure if you were squirming to move towards him or further away as he carefully eased you back from your orgasm, though not letting you go completely, keeping you right on the edge of pleasure, your body hot and aching in his hold.

Once you managed to come back to your senses you could practically feel the smugness radiating off him as he continued to tease, startlingly considerate of your oversensitive clit, just enough stimulation to keep you worked up without being to painful.

You weren’t about to let him be too smug, instead turning back to what you were doing before, working him over, allowing your saliva to drool down over his cock to make the passage of your hand easier as you stroked him at the base.

Your other hand left his thigh and instead went to his balls, cupping and weighing the sensitive sack in your hand, gently massaging it earning an almost pained groan from Terushima, whose thighs you could see were clenched tightly, his muscles rippling under your torso as his body tightened in pleasure, his balls drawing upward in your hand letting you know how close he was getting.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, sexy I…!” he tried to interject, clearly attempting to warn you, surprisingly courteous as ever. He didn’t get a chance to finish though as you released his balls and slipped your hand lower, teasing your fingers lightly over his perineum as you sucked hard at his sensitive head, your thumb pressed firmly to his piercings in a move that made him keen with pleasure, his body practically arching off the bed as he came in your mouth.

You quickly swallowed every bit you could as you milked his cock rubbing and massaging at the glans as he continued to come, until you felt the last tiny spurt against your tongue, and the keening sounds he was making reduced to trembling whimpers.

You released him and wriggled away from his weakened grip so you could look at him, swiping some of the cum that had leaked from the corners of your mouth away with your thumb, and earning a low moan from Terushima, who watched with heavy lidded eyes as you licked it off.

“Fuck, you’re really asking for it little miss sexy,” he told you, his voice pitched low as he sat up, wiping his own glistening cheeks and chin, which were covered with your release on the back of his arm.

“Asking for what hot stuff?” you teased with a pleased smirk, one that was wiped off your face as he coiled and sprung, gently knocking into you so you pitched backwards on to the bed, his hands pinning your wrists on either side of your head as he peered down at you, his eyes burning with desire.

“Asking for me to make you scream my name,” he assured you with a smirk, “To fuck you so hard you can’t walk tomorrow.”

“You think you can Terushima?” you goaded, completely unphased at being pinned beneath him.

“Yuuji,” he informed you seriously nuzzling his face into your neck in a gesture that was surprisingly affectionate, though the wicked grin you could feel against your skin most certainly wasn’t as he clarified, “Call me Yuuji, little miss sexy, it’s only right for you to scream my first name.”

“Give me all you’ve got then hot stuff,” you challenged, earning a delighted smirk from the man, who pulled back to give you another searing kiss, clearly uncaring about the taste of himself in your mouth or sharing your own release with you.

Given how often he seemingly brought women home you weren’t at all surprised that he had a huge stash of condoms in the drawer of the nightstand of the bed, in all different textures and some in different flavors that made you highly amused. Though you didn’t stay that way for long as he expertly slid the condom on and approached, gently tugging you toward him and pulling one of your legs over his shoulder as he teased the head of his cock over your dripping entrance.

The feel of him as he entered you had your head lolling backwards, the angle he’d chosen ensuring he went deep, the feel of his piercings, that you could feel even through the condom, unlike anything you’d ever experienced before.

“Like that?” he teased as he seated himself deep inside you, his voice breathless but still teasing as he demanded, “Like the feel of my cock inside you sexy? You’re so fucking tight I can feel you squeezing me.”

“Fuck me, hot shot,” you ordered clenching around him deliberately, impatient after all his teasing, wanting to feel him move inside you, to know how his piercings would feel as they rubbed against your inner walls, as he fucked you.

“You asked for it,” he warned you, as he gave a sharp thrust of his hips, pulling a moan from your lips.

He didn’t bother to let you adjust more than that, drilling into you, setting a hard, fast past that left you gasping for breath, his cock stretching you deliciously, every movement rubbing his piercings along your insides. His tattooed fingers dug into your thigh as he held your leg over his shoulder.

“Feel so good, squeezing around me like that, you’re so fucking tight around my cock and so wet for me,” he praised, panting for breath as his dark gaze practically drilled into you, as he ground his hips into you, letting you feel every inch of him.

You hummed in agreement, your other leg wrapping around his hips, pulling him in close as your hips moved in time with his as you panted, your hands twisted in the comforter beside your head, unable to tear your eyes away from him, the ripple of muscle underneath his inked tattoos and the drops of sweat as they dripped down his neck and chest were utterly mesmerizing.

“Fuck me,” you gasped, “Fuck me!”

He paused in his movements slowly grinding himself into you making an inadvertent whine slip from your lips as he scolded, “I told you to call me Yuuji, let me hear you say my name.”

You might’ve chosen to deny him, but he’d dipped his other hand down, skilled fingers gently teasing your clit, sending shockwaves of pleasure through you that had your walls fluttering around the hard cock buried to the hilt inside you. Pride warred with pleasure as your pussy ached, desperately wanting him to move again, to give you more of the heady friction and the feel of him moving deep inside you.

“Yuuji,” you relented your voice husky with desire and want, though you weren’t about to give in entirely, instead stretching your hand out for him and ordering, “Come here, Yuuji, kiss me.”

He immediately relented, leaning forward, taking your leg with him, your thigh pressed to your chest, his hips beginning to drive into you again so deep it took your breath away as he braced an elbow beside your head, the other cupping your face and holding you still so he could press his mouth to yours.

You moaned into his mouth wrapping your arms around his shoulders as you clung to him, savoring the feel of his hot skin beneath your hands as your fingers dug into the muscle of his back.

“Ah fuck,” Terushima hissed as he pulled away from your mouth, arching into your hands, his hips jolting hard as you dug your nails into his back. You would’ve felt sorry about it, but the look in his eyes told you clearly that he’d enjoyed the little bit of pain, his hips stuttering as you carefully raked them downwards.

“Do you like that Yuuji?” you purred into his ear, nipping at his jaw.

“Not as much as you like this,” he countered, utterly breathless as he thrust into you hard, the feel of it making you mewl in pleasure, “Like it rough, don’t you little miss sexy?”

“Just as much as you,” you managed to retort, utterly breathless, earning a huffed laugh from him, as he leaned forward to catch your lips in another sloppy kiss.

The lewd sound of your hips as they met, breathless moans and quiet swearing filled the air between you as Terushima worked his hips deep into you, his free hand slipping between the two of you to tease your clit again, as you yanked on his hair, unafraid now to be a little more rough with him the way he was with you, his teeth sinking into your neck in retaliation, earning a yelping moan from you.

“Yuuji, Yuuji,” you gasped, feeling yourself pushed towards your peak, the coil in your belly pulling tight as you dug your fingers into his shoulders, clinging to him for all you were worth.

“Fuck yes,” he panted, his voice a low rasp, clear strain in every word eyes locked on yours, “Give it to me sexy, let me see you come on my cock.”

You did as he asked your walls clamping down hard on him, a gasping cry pulled from your lips as he buried his face in your neck, his thrusts becoming sloppy as he chased his own end, clearly right on the edge himself. He gave a shuddering, moaning gasp into your ear as he came, his cock throbbing inside you and prolonging your own release.

For several long moments the two of you lay locked together, your hands absently stroking his hair as he rested nearly the entirety of his weight on you, the two of you desperately attempting to catch your breath.

Eventually he pressed a thankful kiss to your cheek, a surprisingly affectionate gesture before rolling off, quickly disposing of the condom in the small trash can by the bed, one no doubt specifically for that purpose.

You were a little surprised when right after taking care of it he immediately rolled back over to you, slinging a hot arm around your waist and pulling you close. You’d had one night stands who liked to cuddle a bit in the afterglow, and were feeling pretty good yourself, so you didn’t mind a bit, letting him pull you close and stroke his hand up and down your back.

Neither of you said anything, simply basking in comfortable silence and each other’s presence. However, after a few moments you noted his breath had evened out and his hand had stilled. Carefully propping yourself up on your elbow you noted with some amusement that he’d passed out.

It was understandable, frankly after how high energy the concert had been it was a little shocking that he’d had enough energy afterwards for this. A part of you wondered what he’d be like when he had a bit more energy to devote to things, after all this had been one of if not the best one night stand you’d ever had and definitely in your top ten for sex. However, you quickly shook that thought away.

You spent several moments trying to decide if you wanted to let your own eyes shut and doze off for a while, but in the end decided to carefully extract yourself from his grip, figuring it was less awkward to sneak off now than to potentially be kicked out by Terushima, or worse Hana or Anabara in the morning.

It took a second to find your clothes, and in the end you didn’t bother with your panties, instead dropping the garment into the same trash he’d used to dispose of the condom, before slipping on the rest of your clothes. A quick glance around proved you hadn’t forgotten anything and you took one last glance at Terushima, who was sleeping peacefully on the bed.

You felt strangely bittersweet about leaving him, as you’d actually liked him, far more than you’d expected. Still, you weren’t stupid, and with everything you’d heard and seen from him you knew you were just one girl in a never ending parade of girls who’d grace his bed. Quietly you slipped out of the trailer, letting the door close softly behind you so you wouldn’t wake him.

It had gotten cooler since you’d been outside last, a nice breeze springing up that raised goosebumps on your exposed skin. It felt nice, and with the moon full and bright overhead you weren’t worried about losing your way as you quietly made your way back towards the concert venue, knowing you’d be able to find your car fairly easily from there.

“Where are you headed off to?” a quiet voice asked, the suddenness of it nearly making you jump out of your skin.

You whirled around, heart racing in your chest, only to find the leader of Terushima’s band Okudake holding his hands up in clear surrender, an apologetic look on his face. You let out a relieved breath clutching a hand over your still racing heart, glad to see it was someone you knew, if only vaguely.

“Sorry about that,” he told you sheepishly, “I didn’t mean to frighten you.”

“It’s alright,” you assured him, “I just didn’t expect to see anyone out here.”

“Me neither,” he admitted with a wry chuckle, “But where are you off to? It isn’t safe for a young lady to be out by herself this late.”

“I’m uh, heading back to my car,” you confessed sheepishly, wondering if he knew he sounded like your parent.

“Terushima should’ve at least walked you,” he told you with a disapproving frown, “he’s usually more courteous than this.”

“It’s alright,” you hurriedly assured him, feeling more than a bit awkward as you admitted, “He’s asleep.”

“Ah,” he told you, the single word letting you know that he knew exactly what you were doing, sneaking off without confrontation, though he didn’t comment, instead offering, “Then at least let me walk you? I’ll feel better knowing you aren’t alone.”

“Ah sure,” you agreed, a little baffled but touched by his kindness.

“So what did you think of the show?” he asked casually as the two of you made your way toward the stage.

“It was amazing,” you assured him with a grin, utterly sincere, “the energy was off the charts and the songs were all incredible.”

“You didn’t think there were too many songs about love and heartbreak?” he asked, watching you from the corner of his eye. He clearly read the startled expression on you face because he quickly explained, “We’ve been told we have too many songs about it considering the genre of our group is more rock and our image is harder.”

“I don’t think so,” you assured him, you hadn’t really noticed before but now that he said it you did remember a lot of songs about heartbreak, “I think heartbreak is a pretty universal feeling, so there’s nothing wrong with having lots of songs about it. It’s not something that should be limited to things like genre.”

“I agree,” he told you with a firm nod, “Though I think it would be nice to sing about happiness in love once in a while.”

“So why don’t you?” you asked curious, wondering if this was another issue with love and happiness being the opposite of the more hardcore image they presented.

“Terushima is our main song writer,” he explained, surprising you quite a bit, “And he refuses to write from anything but his own experiences.”

“Don’t get me wrong,” he hastily assured you, “We’re grateful to have him. Before Terushima we were a little Podunk band that was going absolutely nowhere. He’s a big reason why Johzenji is getting so popular, even if he does have his difficult moments at heart he’s a good guy that has done a lot for us.”

“Why are you telling me this?” you asked slowly, feeling a little bit like you were being led into a trap and wondering if you were about to be attacked the way Hana had snapped at you earlier.

“Because Hana told me what happened earlier and I think she might’ve given you the wrong impression,” he explained sheepishly, “Don’t get me wrong, I love her, and she’s an amazing woman but she and Terushima have never quite seen eye to eye.”

“What do you mean?” you questioned utterly baffled about where he was trying to take this.

“I mean from the outside looking in I bet it does look like Terushima’s a player, the last kind of guy you’d ever want to have any sort of relationship with, the kind who only wants women around for a night,” he told you, heaving a sigh and staring up at the night sky, “But it isn’t true at all.”

“Terushima just falls in love far too easily,” he continued, clearly seeing the skeptical expression on your face, “He feels connections with people, latches on, and doesn’t want to let go. Other than the women who’ve snuck out, not a single woman has ever left his bed without his phone number even the ones who really shouldn’t have gotten it.”

“So what he’s a closet romantic?” you asked unable to help the slight sarcasm in your tone, biting back against the pointed comment about you sneaking out without letting Terushima know.

“Something like that,” Okudake agreed, completely unbothered by the bite in your voice, “But more importantly I wanted you to know he likes you, genuinely.”

“If he’s such a romantic, then why doesn’t he have a partner already?” you pointed out, your head unwilling to believe him, even as your heart desperately wanted to.

“Mostly because he has abysmal taste in women,” Okudake informed you bluntly.

“Thanks,” you drawled, sarcastically.

“No,” he hastily assured you, clearly a little flustered, “Normally Terushima only chooses women who want to use him for something or another, either because of his fame or his looks. Hana was rude to you earlier, but she did have good reason to be suspicious of any woman Terushima brought backstage as they’ve been pretty trashy pretty much every single time.”

“But Hana likes you this time,” he charged on, clearly determined to get it all out, “And she’s always had good taste. I think the two of you could be good together if you wanted to give it a shot, and it would be nice to have Terushima write something that isn’t about heartbreak for once.”

“So what you want me to put a leash on your bass player?” you asked skeptically.

“No, I’m telling you he likes you, not just as a one night stand, but as a potential partner, so you know the option is there,” he explained patiently, “And because I think you like him too.”

His words stopped you in your tracks, and you wanted to snap at him, demand to know how he could just assume that as he couldn’t have seen you with Terushima for more than five minutes max. However you also knew he was right, you did like Terushima, a lot, you’d felt a connection to him too, and you really hadn’t wanted to leave. You’d just assumed he’d kick you out if you didn’t.

Now though his bandmate was saying something entirely different, insisting that Terushima was looking for more than a one night stand. The question was, did you believe him and if you did was it worth trying.

You stared at the sky hoping it could give you some kind of answer as Okudake watched and waited patiently. Thinking about it, all you could see was his face, the flash of cocky smirk, the sweet boyish grin, and the intensity in his eyes when he looked at you. He was flirty and confident and surprisingly respectful and sweet and your sexual compatibility was off the charts.

The more you thought about it the more you realized you were more than a bit infatuated with him. The only question now was what you were going to do about it. The thought of walking away now made your heart ache, and you’d never been a coward, so you heaved a breath, turned to Okudake and asked, “Can you take me back to Terushima’s trailer?”

The lead singer smiled kindly at you, and thankfully didn’t comment, simply turned around and led the way, wishing you a quiet but genuine good luck, and inviting you to have breakfast with the band in the morning.

Slipping into the trailer, you’d half planned to simply slip back into bed with Terushima, who you fully expected to find conked out on the bed. Instead you found him sat at the edge of the bed, his head in his hands, fingers buried in his blond hair, defeat and despondency in every line of his body. A part of you had kind of doubted what Okudake had said before, but looking at him now you thought maybe he’d been telling the truth after all.

The sound of the door as it clicked closed behind you made Terushima’s head jolt up, an utterly miserable expression on his face until his eyes focused on you, misery quickly replaced with befuddled awe, like he couldn’t quite believe you were standing in front of him.

“Hey, hot shot,” you greeted softly, unsure what to say, but needing to break the silence.

“Hey,” he returned, attempting to give you a cocky smirk, though the expression fell flat, “You forget something?”

“Can I come in?” you asked, gently, relieved when he gestured for you to help yourself.

You quickly slid your sandals off and made your way to the bed, not bothering to sit on it, but instead sinking to your knees in front of him, earning a surprised look. You reached for his hands and he gave them easily, twining his fingers through yours.

“So a little birdie told me I might’ve made some assumptions about you that I shouldn’t have,” you admitted, peering into his face.

“Oh yeah?” he asked, watching you carefully, “What kind of assumptions?”

“Like maybe you weren’t just looking to hook-up with a stranger for a one night stand tonight,” you confessed, feeling a bit anxious but doing your best to hide it, “Like maybe you weren’t trying to use ridiculous lines one me and maybe you really did feel a connection.”

“Is that why you ditched me before I could even ask for your number?” he asked with a huff of that was probably supposed to be a laugh but sounded surprisingly painful, “Because you thought I was looking for another notch in my belt?”

“Yeah,” you admitted guiltily, heart squeezing in your chest.

“It’s my fault,” he confessed tiredly, “I should know better by now than to jump right into bed with the people who catch my attention, but I thought if I could show you how good we could be, then you might want to stick around. Stupid huh?”

“I could’ve talked to you too,” you consoled then gently teased, “The sex was pretty good though.”

“What are you saying, it was fucking mind-blowing,” he smirked, regaining some of his cocky demeanor.

“Eh, I’ve had better,” you told him, earning a surprisingly cute pout from the bass player.

“Then I guess you’ll have to stick around for a while, so I can show you what I can really do,” he proposed casually, though you could see the tentative hope in his eyes.

“I guess I’d better,” you agreed with a grin, “Though on one condition.”

“Name it,” he agreed eagerly.

“I want a proper date,” you told him, “And your phone number.”

“That’s two conditions little miss sexy,” he teased, his eyes alight with desire and a surprising amount of affection, “But I suppose I can agree if you call me by my name again and agree to be my girlfriend.”

“It’s a deal Yuuji,” you agreed, leaning up to press an affectionate kiss to his lips, one he accepted eagerly, you pulled away before the two of you could get carried away grinning at him like an idiot, well aware that he really should be asleep.

It took a bit, but the two of you managed to get settled into bed together again after you re-shed your clothes, cuddled up close, with Terushima laying half on top of you claiming it was so you couldn’t run off on him again. You’d huffed, but allowed it, enjoying the proximity and his warmth.

He was quick to doze off again, face pressed into your neck, and you found yourself drifting too, contemplating just how lucky you were to have found him, and looking forward to what the future might bring.

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