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pyraffin-drgo · 4 years

Text

All Heavy interactions in Poker Night at the Inventory.

For you to interpret however you wish.

Video Version

(They have [bootleg movies] in your country?) "I like movies, yes." (Yeah, like what? [Lists movies]?) "No. My favorite are The Dirty Dozen and the first twenty minutes of Rocky four."

(We can talk Tetris?) "Hmmph. Tetris is baby game." (Tetris Attack keeps it hood!) "Why does everybody think I love this Tetris? It is just stacking!"

"[To Strongbad] Tiny Heavy." (What is it?) "Do you get the nightmares?" (I get the jibblie nightmares. [Describes silly nightmare, shivers].) "I am talking about the visions of endless suffering. Dead doctors everywhere. Spy can not be found. (No, but that sounds like the Jibblies.) "I do not like these 'jibblies.'"

"Strong and bad. How is boxing career?" (These. Are. My. HANDS!) "I was boxer, once. In school. We have to either box or learn to herd goats." Silence, looking concerned. "I am not good with goats..." (Too much information, man.) "At first, I do not like punching other boys... But then I learn to love it." Punches his palm menacingly.

(Find any rare drops lately?) "I do not understand." (When you get a kill, you get a present?) "When I get kill, I get honor of team." Smile drops. "Sometimes... I also get nightmares. A man does not go home to his wife and children." (So, no loot?) "Oh! You mean hat! Yes, I love hats! Sometimes, I get these. They are the best."

(Hey, Heavy. You know any hot Russian spies?) "I hate spies." (But you gotta have the inside line on some deadly minxes.) "You want hot spy?" (Am I not wrestle man?) "I have friend who gets you a hot spy. (Get em on the two-way, man!) "His name is Pyro." (Tycho, to Strongbad: The spy is hot because it is on fire.) (Oh...)

"[To Tycho] What do you do with life?" (Me?) "Yes. What is possible with tiny, frail body?" (I occupy myself with simulations... of various kinds.) "What is these?" (Struggles to explain.) (Strongbad: He lives in his parent's basement.)

(So, is there a Mrs. Weapons Guy?) "No. Sasha is my only love." (Sasha kills people, I presume?) "No." (Oh?) "WE kill people."

"[To Strongbad] Maybe you and I box?" (I can't risk my beautiful face, it's the franchise.) "We spar. For fun." (I don't think so.)

"Strong and bad. You wrestle? With mask?" (No, I'm a wrestle man, not those hack wrestle-LERS.) "Not like Iron Sheik?" (No, Iron Stake is a LER.) Heavy nods. "Hmm. This is too bad."

(So how long you been with those Team Fortress fellas?) "I do not understand." (The game's been on Steam for like 3 years. I imagine there was some audition process?) "Ohhh! Yes, I understand! I kill many men VERY quickly." (Excuse me?) "I kill record number of soldiers, and I am commissioned to join RED team."

(Mr. Weapons. I am in the market for a new firearm. [Specifications].) "Hmm, for you I do not recommend minigun then. You know, there is this fast baby man that annoys me greatly with shotgun." (Oh! Oh! What are the available options? I'll spring for leather!) "Da, this is good for you. I suggest Force-A-Nature." (I'll tell them [shop owner] Heavy Weapons Guy sent me.) "It is no need. I know guy."

"I will make hat from you, little bunny." No reply from anyone. A reference for the player to the Max hat in TF2.

"You look familiar, bunny." (How closely do you follow the Manhattan Crime Blotter?) Also a reference to the hat, Tycho then takes over conversation.

(If I need someone snuffed out, what's your going rate?) "Five hundred thousand U.S. dollars." (Steep.) "Cash." (You can do it discreetly?) "Sasha... not so discreet." (That's fine.)

(How did you guys hear of the inventory?) "My engineering friend brought me one night."

(This reminds me of the time Artie Flopshark rigged an entire poker tournament to pay off his loan shark.) "I know of this. This is respectable profession in motherland." Conversation is stolen by Tycho.

(This reminds me of [story]!) "I am reminded of time Engineer kill my entire team." (Damn Heavy, that's... heavy. Sorry to hear that.) "I search entire base for him. He tries to kill me with turret and mini turret, but I crush his toys like they are made of paper." (Sounds like crappy toys.) "Then I find him. Hiding by teleporter. I take his gun away from him. He tries to hit me with wrench! Hahohoh! So I take wrench away from him. I take his wrench and shove it down his throat, all the way down to the handle." (Christ!) Heavy laughs. "Then I rip off all his fingers one by one!" He talks while laughing. "Lets see you build toys now!" He breaks out in laughter. "There's blood- everywhere! And- he's crying!" More laughter. "I think he cries out for mother, but- but-" Crumples over laughing. "The wrench is stuck in his throat! And it sounds like-" Makes choking motions and noises then laughs. "Is this not the funniest thing??" (Horrified looks) (Head shakes slowly.) (That's some bleeped up bleep, man!)

(How about you, Heavy weapons? I'm guessing you're a vodka guy?) "Peach Bellini. But bubbles can give me headache."

(Mr. Weapons, how do you like your line of work?) "It is good. There are many benefits." (Oh! Like a free pass to snuff out bad guys or a waffle bar?) "Both. And full dental."

(I wonder if this dump is haunted.) (I hope so! Roughing up who can't die is fun!) "...I do not like ghosts..." (It's okay, Mr. Weapons. I have [extensive experience]. I can handle a few ghosts.) "...You will take care of ghosts for me?" (You bet cha!) Heavy nods at him. "I like you, tiny rabbit."

[Story including a union] "I am union. RED local six fifteen." (You guys unionized?) "Eh. It was necessity for group medical."

"Tycho. This sweater, is special equipment?" (No, standard issue.) "You have no class specific head gear?" (Got a motorcycle helmet that protects from 100% of UV rays.) "This sounds beneficial."

(Why do you keep calling me 'Tiny Heavy'?) "You are Heavy. Tiny. No? You are RED team. You have killing gloves of boxing. You earn these for being great killer! You should try out for RED team." (Hmm. Guess I could join your team of ruthless killers and lame hat wearers and watch you get grenaded by 8 year olds.) "You will take many bullets before dying I think."

(Hey, Heavy. I just finished [Russian fantasy book]. Ever read it?) "No." (Oh. What's your favorite book?) "I prefer war." (Ah, War and Peace. Tasteful.) "No. Just war." (Art of War?) "Nyet." Silence. "I like 'Tsar Hunger' by Leonid Andreyev. You know this?" (...No.) "Is classic."

"You have hands like young girl." (I keep them shits moist.) "...So you are more of sneaky, stabbing type?" (In an extreme circumstance, I guess.) Heavy looks at him suspiciously. "I keep my eyes on you." (No, no no- I wasn't implying that-) Heavy looking at him angierly. (Shit.)

(Ever listen to music while you work?) "Yes! I just buy new walkman." (What gets you in the killing mood? Icelandic death metal?) "I just get Huey Lewis tape. Keeps spirits up on battle field."

"[To Tycho] You have woman?" (Not with me) "She is pretty?" (Yeah, cute, glasses, red hair.) "She has the red hair??" (No, Heavy! She is not on the other team! Don't have to kill her!) "No. But I love the red hair!" (Well, you can't have her, either.) Re-used image of Heavy looking at him angrily. (Well, maybe we can work something out.)

(Hey, Heavyman. You think you can 'take care' of the King of Town for me?) "I can assassinate king, yes. It is expensive, though." (By take care of I meant sneak in and shave off half his mustache.) "I am not best at sneaking." (Confront him in a dark alley then?) "This is better. That way blood wash away in rain."

(You have any interest in moonlighting?) "WHAT? I am not moonlighter!" (Just a little work on the side with Sam and me beating up goons!) "Oh. I can not do this." (C'mon it's fun and free!) "No, I am sure it is." (Then what's the problem?) "I have non compete." (Ah, yeah. Lawyers.)

(All these aces reminds me of [weird dream]. You have any weird dreams, Mr. Weapons?) "I sometimes dream that I am killed. There is blood everywhere. (Tycho gives him a weird look) But then I wake up and I realize this is ridiculous! Nobody can kill Heavy weapons guy! (Riiiight...)

"[To his chips] This is good Solider. This one is good Doktor. You are demolition man."

"Saaaandvich, sandvich, I love you sandvich!" (Would you like someone to order you some food?)

"Blue man." (Tycho.) "Tycho. What college do you go to? You are educated, no?" (Actually, no.) "No?" (I studied at Gygax Polyhedral if you catch my drift.) "I do not. This is good school?" (Uh. The best.) "I went to Soviet College of Mines, Farms, and Science. I have PhD in Russian literature." (Do you.. use that in your work?) "More than you think."

"Tiny Heavy, who is your favorite to kill in war?" (Those discount three-pack green helmets.) "To kill spy is glorious thing! How about you, Max? You are killing type." (My favorite enemy? Like asking me to choose between my children!) Heavy laughs. "You crack me up, little bunny!"

(Hey, Hefty Bag, you ever play video games?) "Just one." (Oh yeah?) "It is called-" (Tycho: WoW?) "Nyet. That is not popular. It is called 'Where's an Egg'." (Strongbad: I love Where's an Egg!) "Where's an Egg is as big as Tetris in homeland."

(Concerning your firearm, whay caliber we talking?) "Big." (What, we talking 300 Weatherby Mag here?) "Bigger." (50 cal, whereabouts?) "Bigger than 50 caliber. They are hand made custom tool cartridges with classified diameter." (Why's that?) "So enemy canmot use ammunition. But Sasha can chew through theirs." (Diabolical!) "I think so." Nods.

(Alright, big pretend killer man. Tell me the most awesome story you have with plenty of senseless violence!) Heavy thinks. "When I was boy, I was at camp, being trained in many ways of combat." (Assassination camp for kids! This is gonna be good!) "There was sparrow sitting on fence. Snow falls quietly around me. Without notice, another boy jumps from behind tree and kills sparrow with throwing knife. The boy runs away." (And then??) "I pick up sparrow, and hear his last breath before digging him tiny grave..." (Tycho crying) (Max silent) (That's not even a little bit funny, man.) Heavy shakes his head solemnly. "No..." Sits back. "It's not."

(So, what do you do for fun?) "Clean Sasha. Use Sasha... Clean Sasha again." (Proper maintience is crucial.) "I also collect old coins." (A fellow numismatist!) "Which I melt down to make custom bullets." (Of course.)

"I am hungry for sandvich." (Then order a sandvich, man.) "Oh, I can not have sandvich! I become unstoppable killing machine!" (Yeah, maybe order a water.) "Is best."

"You wear blue sweater." (All the time.) "What are you?" (Haven't we went over this?) "You are not Scout. Maybe very tricky blue Spy? Maybe... new class?" (I can use a keyboard to sabotage your entire team, steal your intelligence, and have your sister delivered to my doorstep in one afternoon. Yes, I'm a new class.) Heavy, shocked, "This is true??"

(Hey, Heavyman, what's your living situ-aysh?) "I live in RED barraks. Is nice. There is foos table." (How about taking a room in the house of Strong?) "There is vacancy?" (First you'll have to dump the current person in your room.) "This is enemy?" (He won't put up much of a fight.)

Hope you enjoyed, spent most of the day copying all these down. The non-Heavy lines are paraphrased for shortness. Heavy's are full, how they are in game.

#long post #tf2 #team fortress 2 #heavy #tf2 heavy #heavy weapons guy #poker night #poker night at the inventory #neat

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paragonrobits · 3 years

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A friend asked me to give a stab at a Tierlist Maker for Video Games Not Yet In the Video Game Hall of Fame Tier List Maker, so here's my list for it!

This is based primarily on what I considered to be overall value to gaming history as a whole, with games with greater influence or impact ranking higher than those that had less impact on those to follow, or on culture. All the entries are those that have been nominated to the Hall of Fame, but not actually inducted as of this post's writing. Games that I personally like are generally rated higher, though mostly because I'm more familiar with them and thus can judge their impact from a personal POV.

(Tier List explainations, below!)

SHOULD BE IN ALREADY

Final Fantasy: I mean seriously. How is this one not already in yet?? It is not, as my research suggests, the first true RPG; that likely goes to games like Ultima. It is certainly an incredibly influential one; FF is a name closely associated with JRPGs in general, and its diverse class system is one of the strongest things to do with it, as noted by challenges like beating the game with a party of Black Belts. FF is THE name of RPGs in general and I'm startled it hasn't made it in, though I suppose that's owing to more notable entries (Hard as that is to imagine). It doesn't hurt that the majority of my favorite FF titles are those most similar to this one, such as FF6 and FF9, in terms of approaching the general world setting and class systems. Most significantly is that this game popularized RPGs and made them accessible, in ways that previous games such as Dragon Warrior/Dragon Quest did not; the field of gaming would be VERY different without it; RPGs became VERY popular, to the extent of RPG elements being almost universal among other games in the modern day. (I am also pleased and amused to see 8-Bit Theater mentioned on the actual Wikipedia page. Now THAT'S notability!)

Sid Meir's Civilization: HEY NOW HALL OF FAME JUDGES, DON'T YOU BE MOCKING CIV, ALRIGHT. CIV IS FUCKING AWESOME. Okay, jokes aside, I'm genuinely astonished as the Civ series is considered the first true main game of the 4x series, and it shows; the entire genre centers around expansion, resource usage and diplomacying or conquering your enemies, and considering the impact of this game and its sheer popularity, to the extent of the meme of the game getting people to play for Just One More Turn, I'm a bit disappointed that it's not already in the hall of fame. I also note that I am personally more familiar with the spin off Alpha Centauri, a sci fi variant, which is still one of my all time favorite games.

Half-Life: Given this game's popularity, to the point of its release alone consigning the likes of Vampire the Masquerade Bloodlines to cult classic status and its engine spawning a whole THING with GMod and the usage of physics mechanics in FPS games, one thing of note is its use of scripted sequences; at the time, an unknown in most games of the time. There may be something to be said for how the entire game is spent as Gordon Freeman, behind his eyes, possibly engendering a lack of separation between self and character that would be later emphasized in games like Bioshock. It's influence on games cannot be denied, with publications using it as a bookend between eras of gaming. One consistent element of what seems to make this game so distinctive is its approach to storytelling, without simply imitating film techniques which don't always work well with gameplay.

Candy Crush: This is an example of something I don't personally play myself, or even like very much, but I'd be remiss to dismiss it out of hand. There's no denial that phone games are one of, if not THE biggest market of games in the here in now; if now in scale, certainly in quantity. You might call it the TF2 Hat Economy theory; people aren't spending BIG bucks, but they are spending a LOT of little bucks all the time. It proves that highly accessible games that are generally free to play, with optional purchases, are a legitimate means of game business, and this certainly revolutionized how games were seen by the money-makers.

Super Smash Bros Melee: I loved this game as a kid, but truth be told i have a bit of a love-hate relationship; i REALLY dislike the competitive community that has fixated hard on this game, so any thoughts on it will have a slight element of pause beforehand. Even so, I can't forget the thrilled delight I felt watching the trailer for this game in supermarkets for the first time as a kid. at a time when getting any new games at all was a HUGE deal in my family. So, there is a lot of feeling behind this one! Ultimately, I have to concede that while i have complicated feelings about this game, its worth noting that the vast majority of things that made Smash iconic, and influenced the competitive scene AND the games inspired by Smash AND shaped the course of the series going forwards, largely owe themselves to Melee in particular. 64 was far more slow paced, while Melee began the trend towards much more fast paced action (and while I doubt it's SPECIFIC to melee as a whole, it may have been a trend for the genre from then). Melee is STILL widely played, especially on the competitive scene, and this sort of longevity always bears evidence of notability.

Goldeneye 007: I have to admit that despite being a kid in the 90s, despite someone who put most of their time into gaming, and despite being someone whose favorite system at the time was the Nintendo 64, I mostly missed out on the trend of history by honestly not being that much into this game. I have to say that I DID play it, however; I just never managed to get past the first level or so. I have strong memories of triyng and failing to sneak around a snowy lair of some description; it wouldn't be until the mid-2000s, playing Deus Ex Human Revolution, that I got the hang of stealth. All the same, personal indifference really doesn't matter much because HOLY SHIT THIS GAME HAS SOME STAYING POWER. IT HAS INFLUENCE, FRIENDORITOS. Perhaps chiefly, at the time it was made, consoles were not considered viable platforms for first person shooters; Goldeneye revised that notion, and created a whole revolution in multiplayer and shooter games. We would later see the ultimate consequence of this in games like Halo, which further revolutionized the whole genre. Ironically, the stealth attributes I was so bad at were part of what made the game so unique! It's one of those games that may not have aged well, by modern standards, but its import to gaming as a whole goes a long, long way.

Guitar Hero: I expect this one might be a bit hard to justify, but on its own, this game is INCREDIBLY innovative, though its not entirely the first of its kind, having mechanics based on earlier games. The very first entry has a respectable library of 30 songs, which is impressive considered at the time it was made, its not likely people expected it to get as far as it did; bear in mind that the massive libraries of later games were the result of years of this game series being a massive steamroller of a franchise! At the time, this one was an unknown. It has an interesting history as being a successor of sorts to an arcade exclusive, and inspiring a genre of imitators and spiritual successors on its own; of great note is the sheer impact this game had. With so many of those successors, the increased value of liscened soundtracks, and the way the game's concept became so influential, its astounding this one isn't already on the hall of fame. (It's also very fun, but fun alone doesn't make for memorability, sad to say.)

DESERVES IT AT SOME POINT

Myst - an iconic and incredibly atmospheric puzzle game, I'm genuinely surprised that I haven't heard talk about this one in some respect; it bears note as a rare game with absolutely no conflict whatsoever. I actually rank this one on par with the 7th Guest in terms of atmospheric games, though their tones could not be more different. So why do I think this game deserves it at some point? It was an incredibly immersive and beautiful game, lacking in genuine danger or threat, encouraging the player to explore and tackle the puzzles of the game. This sort of open-ended lack of peril makes it an interesting precursor towards certain flavors of sandbox games around now. It's worth noting that it was a tremendous achievement, given technical limitations of things such as the CD-Rom it was stored on, maintaining a consistent experience, as well as tying narrative reasons into those very constraints. It has been compared to an art film; if so, it certainly is the sort that invited imitators and proved to be a great technical achievement.

Portal: PORTAL! What can I honestly say that hasn't already been said by other people? The amazing integration of a physics engine into innovative puzzle solving, combined with a slow burn sort of minimalist plot reveal concerning the AI proving itself to be a kind of reverse HAL 9000? This game got a HUGE number of memes back in the day, and I expect anyone reading this can probably reference a few. The cake thing, certainly, and its relevance to matters of deception. There is much discussion over the game's utility in academic circles, which is certainly quite notable, and for my part, I'm interested by the point that at first the game gives you a lot of hints towards what you're supposed to do, gradually making it less obvious for the player you're on your own entirely, using your experience with the game to get past the puzzles from there, and its excellent game design. Ultimately though, I place this below Half Life in hall of fame urgency, because while I probably like this one more, it doesn't have the same impact on other games, per say. (That's a lot of awards for it, though. Wowza.)

Resident Evil: Is it fair to call this one the major survival horror game of its era? No, because it's apparently the FIRST, or at least the first to be called such. It's certainly up there with shaping the genre as a whole, both its immediate predecessors and modern games. The flavor of a survival horror can even be judged about whether its close to Resident Evil's style of defending yourself with limited resources vs controlled helplessness. It's also worth pointing out that I quite like the restricted, cramped setting of the mansion, rather than an expansive city; Biohazard was a real return to form, even if its something I mostly watched through funny lets plays because OH NO ITS TOO SCARY I CANT WATCH.

Asteroids: It's called the first major hit of the golden age of the arcade. I'm forced to say... yeah, it absolutely deserves it. The actual implementation and hardware of the game makes for interesting reading, and so its innovative nature ought to be noted: it lacked a soundchip at all, making use of handmade circuits wired to the board. It's reception was great, beating out Space Invaders and needing larger boxes just to hold all the money people spent on it. It also invented the notion of tracking initials on the top ten score, which has implications for arcade challenges.

Ms. Pac Man: This one consistently ranks HIGH in gaming records of its time, though there is admittedly some confusion to whether it or Donkey Kong was a better seller. Interestingly it appears to shape most of the gameplay mechanics people remember most for Pac-Man, such as the improved AI of the ghosts. It's more highly regarded than the original game, and on a personal note, I remember being a kid and seeing this arcade machine at ALL the laundry places my family usually wound up going to.

Frogger: It's placing on this list is not solely because CUTE FROG. The accessibility and wide appeal of the game bears a great deal of consideration, the flexibility of its formula, and just how many dang times it's been ported in one form or another. (And also, cute frog.) It also gets points for the creator being inspired for the game when he saw a frog trying to cross a road, hampered by the vehicles in the way, and he got out of his car and carried the frog across the street. The game is also evident of broad appeal, and some money-makers resisting it, goes back a long way; it was apparently dismissed as a kid's game by some, which just goes to show that some problems are older than quite a lot of gamers alive today.

Uncharted 2: this is one of those games where I cannot honestly say I have personal experience to draw from. Of the playstation's big games, I remember the Jak and Daxter series; I remember Kingdom Hearts, and I remember Ratchet and Clank, and I remember Infamous, but the Uncharted series remains

something of a 'I don't go here?' obscurity in my personal playbook. It does look memorable and charming from what I've seen, and one consistent element I've seen in comments about it is the cinematic nature of the game; it feels very much like a fun heist movie, based on what I have seen of it, and the notable thing is how the game FEELS cinematic.. in a literal way. As in, it combined elements of cinematography with game design, and that's no mean feat: what works for movies are unlikely to translate well to the interactive side, and it shows how that can be done for other games. The extensive praise does the game a LOT of credit!

WORTH NOMINATION AT LEAST

Angry Birds: As noted before, I'm not the biggest fan of most phone games, given that i prefer a more passive experience than most provide. As such, Angry Birds isn't something I've played as of this writing, but I have to appreciate the straightforward and simple gameplay; it reminds me a bit of the Burrito Bison game series, which I HAVE played, and I'm going to go out on a limb and assume it's because Angry Birds is probably the innovation that coined that particular style of gameplay. It's an example of what made phone games profitable and worth the time of developers to work at them; its easy for casual players to get into, and there's a fun sort of impact involved. Given the popularity of phone games, this one has a LOT of influence in getting that rolling, similar to candy crush, if not as much.

FIFA International Soccer: Simulation games are a tricky business; it can be really difficult to get them right, and this game provides an example of it being done in a way that a lot of people REALLY loved, set up an entire game series, and revived the 3DO system after a very bad year. Of note, apparently it was commented that it was more of a simulator than a console game, and this is rather funny considering how simulator is its own genre nowadays! Such do things change. It seems to have been a revolutionary game and simulation; setting the shape for modern sport games of its type, and tending more towards realism (accounting for acceptable breaks in reality) than was typical of the time. This one's position is thus picked for its impact as a whole; while it may not necessarily be a household name now, the series continues on, and is popular enough that even after 20 years, it's still been going.

Elite: I nominate this game in this position for being a startlingly early entry into what we would now consider open-ended games, even with an element of exploration and trading; if one stretches definitions a bit, a precursor towards gameplay of the like scene in 4X players who strive to avoid conflict, if possible. Its technical breakthroughs are some very interesting reading and make for good game history; a vast and complex game (not just by the standards of the era, either), and opening the door for persistent world games such as World of Warcraft.

Wii Sports: A significant game, and much as how other titles mentioned above were famed for gateway entries into gaming for an unfamiliar audience, or those that would want o play on a more casual basis. It seems notable to me for being most suited as a family game, or a more casual experience of multiplayer than usually associated with games like this; this has greatly influenced Nintendo's design philosophy, and one can see elements of this all the way through the Wii U onwards. It's essentially a fliparound from Mario Party; less competitiveness, but definitely meant as a group thing. Controversy is evident, because like with Mario Party, injuries did result from it.

Call of Duty: I place this one here because, while it DOES hold a very significant role in gaming history, with countless imitators, spiritual successors, being a game-changer in ways that its modern reputation might surprise you with, ultimately it is less so than other games such as Goldeneye, Halo or Half-Life. It's development in AI pathfinding and tactics is incredibly noteworthy from a mechanical perpsective, and the sheer level of awards it won is notable. In the end this game's popularity and continuing influence means that it shouldn't be overlooked.

Metroid: You can't spell 'Metroidvania' without this game! A relatively open ended exploration-based game with further options opening as new tools were found give it an interesting vibe, and the oppressive atmosphere distinctive to the game says great things about its sound and level designs. It wasn't the first open world game, or explorer, or even the first to open new aereas based on equipment, but it had ALL of these elements in a very memorable package. (Samus Aran as a female protagonist is something I'm a bit reluctant to give it credit for, as her identity was obfuscated for most of the game, and only revealed in a fanservicey way in a secret ending. All the same, credit where it is due, I suppose!) It's music seems to endure as a mood setter, too!

Pole Position: Perhaps not the FIRST racing game, but still considered one of the most important from the golden age of gaming, and the one to codify many of the firm rules of the game series. It's three dimensional gameplay is incredibly innovative for its time, and having played it and games like it in the past, I'm struck by how smooth the whole thing feels. No wonder it was popular! It is notable for having been designed specifically as a 3d Experience, meant to execute techniques like real drivers might attempt, which makes it a different sort of beast in that it tried to do more realistic actions; in some ways, a precursor to modern trends of realism in many games, for ill or best. Ultimately I think this one is worth a nomination because of its influence towards racing games (a popular and long lived genre, to say the least) as a whole.

OUTSIDE CHANCE

Nurburgring 1: On the one hand, I feel a bit guilty putting this one so low; it is recognized as likely being the earliest racing game in history, and given that I just finished noting Pole Position's influence, it feels a bit mean to rate this one as relatively insignificant all the same. However, in terms of notability, I never even heard of this one, and it was tricky finding information about it. Accordingly, that may say something about its influence, though this position DOES make it noteworthy as the first of its kind, albeit with Pole Position refining and introducing elements that shaped the genre.

Dance Dance Revolution: It feels a bit strange, putting this one fairly low. This thing was a MONSTER back in the day; entire arcades were built around the dancing control peripherals it required, rhythm based games or mechanics specifically invoked it by name, and it was an absolute cultural touchstone for years and years. So, why place it low? Partly, its because I can't just shove EVERYTHING into the 'deserves a nomination' folder; I do think it's fairly reasonable for this one to at some point get a nomination in the future, though ultimately there's games more noteworthy on the whole. It's specific rhythm qualities continue outside of its genre, and are quite influential to gaming as a whole, though unfortunately the series seems to have lost something in notability over time; popularity is a factor, but so is the impact on other games.

NBA 2K and NBA Jam: I put these two together because they touch on similar touchstones for me, and they really did popularize basketball games back in the day. Jam in particular seems to be invoking the Big Head mode that were a big thing in games at the time, at least going from the screenshot. They were very popular and highly beloved games back in the day, though I don't know if they have much influence on later games. I note that interestingly, they take opposite approaches; 2k focuses on AI and realistic experiences, while Jam was deliberately less realistic and more actiony in its over the top gameplay.

Nokia Snake: This one really impresses me for the sheer number of releases, in various forms, it's had! Interestingly, there seems to be little consensus on the name of this game; most just call it Snake or something on that theme. I went with Nokia Snake because... mostly, it sounds funny, and that's how its done on the list. This one is fairly low, but I Have to give it credit for having hundreds of releases!

Farmville: My mom liked Facebook games, a lot. And I am certain this one was one of her main ones! I rate it fairly low, and no doubt her spirit is yelling imprecations at me across the void of time, space, and abandoned socks; all the same, this one is ranked low because of the sheer number of displeasure aimed this one's way. (And to be fair, she complained about it. A LOT.) It is thus notable for unusually negative reasons; an example of exploitation, pressuring players to pester their friends to play it in an equivalent to electronic chain mail, and microtranscations.

Tron: I'm inclined to give any game that takes place in a computer land and uses programming or mechanical terminology a free pass! Interestingly, this has some association with the Snake game, as they have similar gameplay and Snake games are sometimes called Light Cylce games, after this one. It has an interesting history; the graphical system was chosen largely because it was believed it was more likely to be achieved before the deadline.

NO BUSINESS IN THE HALL OF FAME

Mattel Football: I do feel a little mean putting anything in this category; firstly because I don't want to make actual fans of something sad, and secondly because I believe you can probably find notability anywhere you look, if you are inclined. And here is the chief difficulty with this one: I could not find any real information in this one. It has no Wikipedia page, a google search only led to undescriptive links of SALES for the game, but not any information on the game itself. Notability is my main resource for sorting these entries, and honestly? If google has nothing on you, that's a pretty poor sign. Sorry, Mattel Football, but you look like a poor man's Game And Watch. You're no Portal, Myst or Pole Position.

#tier lists #tiermaker lists

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hankwritten · 3 years

Text

TFComics Rewrite

I am currently plotting an outline for a TFComics, and I want to get my thoughts about fixes to canon and possibly get feedback. Since this is a rewrite there’s really no *spoilers* or anything, so I’m willing to answer all questions about what I plan to do. Also some characters I’m not so sure about how I want to retool them, so if your have ideas for your fav let me know!

Disclaimer:

This rewrite is intended to critique the content/choices made in the construction and telling of the Team Fortress 2 comic series. It is not a personal attack on the artists/writers/directors or any of the creatives that made contributions to this series, nor is it meant to substitute or replace the official release. This work is transformative in nature, and relies on an understanding of the source material to be understood. TF2 and its characters belong to Valve.

TFCR is working on the assumption that the audience has read the original comic, and as such will skip over scenes and plot points that are unchanged from the original. I don’t think it needs to be said, but this fanfiction will not make sense if you are not familiar with the source.

I also recognize that there are strengths within the comic’s writing and weaknesses within my own. Namely, that Valve writers are gods in the realm of comedy, and I’d rather not try to match them in the regard. As such, I will state up front that these will not be as funny as the TFComics. That is not to say there won’t be jokes (either ones transplanted from the source or some of my own) or that the tone of this will be terribly grimdark, only that my focus will be on improving story structure and character development as those are what appeal to me.

The Broad Strokes

The goal of TFCR is to give a more engaging story for all the mercenaries we know and love, as--let’s face it--the TF2 mercs are side characters in their own damn story. These are some of the planned improvements.

There will be reason for each of the mercs to actually be there. As it stands, the motivations for almost every character besides Pauling and Saxton Hale are vague and unsatisfying. We’d usually say something along the lines of “money” for hired killers, but clearly Scout doesn’t even know if they’re getting paid, and some of the other characters are even worse. The hunt for the Australium is, therefore, boring. MacGuffins usually are, but at the very least the characters should care about the item even if the audience doesn’t. This work aims to give each of the nine mercs a motive and a reason to be in the story instead of just replaceable joke dispensers.

Explain what “Team Fortress” means, and how it relates to RED and BLU. Long and short: the nine mercenaries we see on the team are not from either RED or BLU but rotate between the two, and were the individuals selected to fight the robots. That means all things do happen to all characters. As Valve pretty much goes with “whatever is funniest at the time”, it’s very hard to make a cohesive theory about “where the hell is BLU team?”, but I’ll do my damndest. We’ll also examine Team Fortress’s relationship with the other capital T Teams, and why they’re considered the “rejects” of the bunch.

Comics 1 & 2 will be removed from the timeline as they serve no purpose, only taking what needs to be known about the plot’s setup and jumping straight to A Cold Day in Hell.

We will introduce the Classic Mercs right away so they can generate threat and play against the TF mercs when they do actually meet head to head.

We will not be killing off Gray Mann. (Not preemptively anyway.) In fact, there will be more focus on him and Olivia as villains facing off against the Admin, providing her foil as the TF2 and TFC mercs provide foils for each other.

I considered waiting until the final comic was out to begin working on this, but that may never happen. Jay Pinkerton said he may reveal what plot they had in store eventually, but considering it took Half Life over a decade to get the “I was once a Valve writer but my NDA has expired and now I can go buck wild” treatment, I’m not holding my breath. The main reason I wanted to do this is that the Administrator’s motivations are not interestingly foreshadowed, to the point where there aren’t even any good fan theories out there. That said, WritingDispenser and Riddle of the Sphinx helped come up with a pretty fun one, which was actually the inspiration for me to get off my butt and start plotting this.

There will be no queerbaiting. This refers both to HeavyMedic (which has been simultaneously used as wink wink nudge nudge joke many times and as encouragement for fans to play their stupid hat game) as well as lesbian Pauling (since femme lesbians are the preferred method for front facing LGBT representation across almost all media, but video games especially). If you need to understand why lesbian Pauling is an issue, Sarah Z coined the term “queercatching” in order to describe word of god confirmations on characters sexualities that are not followed up on in the text. I recommend the full video on it.

Due to the importance of immortality in the theming of the comics, respawn will not be a thing. Deaths we think should have happened previously will be explained as close calls, or that Medic can heal a short time after death. Medic and Scout’s deaths will be cut in the story itself, as after Sniper died and came back, them doing the same thing kinda lost their punch.

Scout

There will be no ScoutPauling hints. It doesn’t make sense to give screentime to this relationship because Valve obviously doesn’t think it’s going to go anywhere so why make Scout turn down advances from other hot women? I mean I get Expiration Date was a Thing but it feels like Scout’s whole motivation shouldn’t be reduced down to chasing a girl who doesn’t like him back.

He’s here because he lost his life’s savings in bad investments and needs the money. That’s it. Which is still somehow more than his canon motive which is question mark question mark question mark

He, Soldier, Spy, Demo, and Pyro all start the adventure with Miss Pauling.

Engages with Heavy on a genuine level when they go to collect him, Heavy doesn’t blow him off when he tries to level about dead dads.

There will be no DadSpy reveal. The way Spy treats Scout has never been “deadbeat dad feels bad about abandoning his kid” but more “this is someone I would kill without a second thought if I felt like it” which makes his reveal in comic 5 feel very disingenuous. I don’t think Valve even had this plotline in mind until comic 3, as #2 still has Spy seeming only to care about Scout’s Ma and not Scout himself. It also makes “seduce me!” retroactively weird.

Uhhh hooks up with Zhanna. This one isn’t critical I just think it’s funny.

Soldier

Soldier is going to be the Ur example of the Admin not treating her people well, as we’re going to lean into the whole “Soldier was only mildly messed up until the whole lead poisoning” thing.

He’s here because he’s blindingly loyal to the cause. He’s actually going to very little from canon because of this actually.

Might be the reason Team Fortress has a reputation of being the lower tiers of the Teams, but that doesn’t mean he’s damn good at his job. Fatal flaw is that he’s unstable, and even though the courthouse plotline won’t be in this fic, it should be noted that he actually does cause problems for the other protagonists due to his short temper. He’s a risky asset, but still essential.

There will be a minor explanation for the WAR! Comic, but I think that’s better saved for Demo’s analysis.

Pyro

Pyro is the character you could cut entirely from the comics and have the least change. Now, they’re going to be Pauling’s right hand. Let me explain.

Engineer and Pyro are implied to live together, and Pyro doesn’t have anything better to do than go with Engie after Team Fortress is disbanded. Rather than having a reveal, we will see some of what is going on with the Admin and friends early on, and see what leads up to her sending Miss P the note that kicks off the whole plot. However, while Engie needs to stay and look after her, Pyro’s skills aren’t useful here, and they are sent as a direct messenger to help Pauling.

They’re loyal, and unlike Soldier rarely mess up orders. They’re also partially mute, making them ideal for handling sensitive info. Pauling trusts them to handle the burning of “Elizabeth’s” paper trail.

Will be using they/them in the narrative voice, but other characters will refer to them as he/him. I considered going with it/its because that’s bubbled up in popularity again, but ultimately I decided against it.

We’ll get glimpses to their train of thought, but like the comics they will remain virtually silent.

Demo

Demo’s role in the cast is going to be very similar to Spy’s. The events of WAR! involved him nearly dying and Soldier taking the win, and he’s very bitter that after all those events *apparently* mercs can just be switched around teams willy nilly and don’t have to kill each other anymore. (As the audience, we know this is because the Admin found out the “make them so angry they won’t ask questions” wasn’t a long-term viable solution, and instead brought TFI forward as a neutral third party that was pretending to mediate the gravel wars.) But Demo’s suspicious, and is only along because he really has been miserable since he lost his job.

This conflict will eventually come to a head, more on that in the Sniper section.

Is fairly forgiving with his teammates. Doesn’t like Sniper but I’m willing to drop a little angst during that submarine scene. Is glad to see Medic actually. Here to be some glue to hold this merry band together.

The Eyelander will not be forgotten after 2 comics because I love this character concept and I think it was underutilized.

Drunk jokes will be kept to a minimum. What I liked about WAR! and Bombinomicon was that it took Demo and showed that they knew how to make him funny without making him one note, which they sort of did in the early TFComics but stopped in the later ones in favor of him….being asleep for the whole plot. I promise 100% awake Demo in my rewrite.

Demo likes Pauling on a personal level, but has trouble reconciling her with his feelings on TFI.

Doesn’t get knocked out by moonshine because. Seriously? Poisoning the Demoman with alcohol? In what world does that work.

Heavy

Not too much to change. Scout doesn’t accompany him when he goes to look for the secret Australium cache, and he engages with Mags and Saxton (which will be when the audience finds out what they’ve been up to) and actually cares about what’s going on with them. He thinks Darling is up to something. Which he is, he’s attempting to unseat both Gray and Helen due to long family history.

Will at least mention Medic. Their reunion falls a little flat since it mostly relies on Meet the Medic for context, as they don’t really interact in the comic. There can be a bit of a flashback to what it was like as all these mercs broke up.

I know uhhh Valve seems to think found family is really dumb, and that these murderers could ever like each other is silly or something, but the mercs do? Like each other? For the most part anyways.

Bronislava and Yana come alone for adventures, not just Zhanna. Again, no real reason, but sometimes I get to have tacky fanfic stuff in my own fanfic because I Wanna.

Engineer

Engie ruminates on his family history of allowing all this bullshit to happen and just kind of shrugging. Basically Moss’s analysis of the Conagher themes.

Has put a lot of time, sweat, and tears into BLU and now TFI, isn’t willing to let it fall now, even if Admin is basically living on borrowed time. He’s doing this because of the ‘ole sunk cost fallacy.

Also we get to see more of Pauling and Admin’s relationship through his eyes.

Medic

Congrats on being the one merc with an actual arc, Medic! As a reward, you will not be changed much.

I’m actually going to use Medic’s section to say that the Classic mercs will be referred to by their first names in order to differentiate them, and we’ll get little previews of what they’re like from Medic’s perspective before we actually see them fight Team fortress. The battle at the submarine will be more of a fight in this sense, working it out so it seems like surrender is the only option after Sniper is killed.

Final fight with Cheavy will be...not blocked so awkwardly. I mean this is now a textual medium so my work is already halfway done, but still the pacing is so weird. Shudder.

Sniper

These are the big guns. Most changes, even more than Demo. He’s been actually hunting for New Zealand/the Australium cache on his own, and doesn’t want Pauling interfering, saying for a he knows she could have been the ones to kill his adoptive parents.

(She hasn’t, but the Admin did actually order them killed in an attempt to stop Sniper because she thought she could prevent the exact thing that is going on right now which is that Sniper is considering trying to get at it.)

Sniper doesn’t know this, but Pauling, Demo, and Spy eventually convince him to share his findings and help them get to New Zealand.

Spy

Similar to Demo but is less conflicted about it. He knows just because he likes someone doesn’t mean he won’t have to kill them later.

Spy knows about who killed Sniper’s parents, and tells Demo, sort of as a test to see where his loyalties lie. He also knows that Pyro is Pauling’s confidant for certain things.

Demo questions him about what he’s doing here, whose side he’s really on. But you know. Spy is Spy and he was never really on anyone’s side but his own. When it comes down to it, it might be exactly as Scout thinks: that he’s ditched them all and run off when he had the opportunity. But, big damn hero, comes back in the end.

He’s here mainly to “keep an eye on things.” Also maybe because his gf asked him to keep an eye on her son :)

#tf comics rewrite #tf2 meta

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tradingjack · 4 years

Photo

I know it’s extremely late, but... I feel like the biggest tribute I could make to Rick May is continuing my work in the hospital during this goddamned pandemic. I’m gonna have a mild rant under the cut about my Feelings™ about it, so read at your own risk.

Instagram | Patreon

I started playing TF2 in May of 2018, I think. It was sometime around then. Gosh, it’s been 2 years, I suppose. In that time I’ve accumulated about 860 hours on the game at the time I post this. I hope I’ll get more in the future. I’ve read all of the comics available, and I follow various TF2 content creators, even if they don’t currently create TF2 content. I’ve met tons of people playing the game, and definitely spent way more money than I should have on a game that’s free to play. As unfortunate as the reality is that the person who introduced me to the game is a TERF, I’ve played enough of the game on my own and participated in enough community events with other people that my experiences are my own. I was good enough that, at one point, I probably should have been playing competitively.

None of it really matters, though. The only important thing is I’ve found a community that I love.

I learned that Rick May died at 10PM the day the news was released. I found myself awake at 1AM that night crying my fucking soul out alone in my bed. I’ve gone through death, both personal and impersonal. None of it had affected me as much as Rick May’s death has.

As much as soldier is considered the comic relief of both the comics and often the games and animated shorts, to the point where his character does feel the least developed of the group besides maybe pyro, Soldier is also one of the few of the group who feels like he would be your friend no matter who you are (nationality aside, haha). He’s famously best friends with demoman, of the entire team; a black, one-eyed Scottish dude, to the point where they created an entire comic about that friendship and even added homage to it in the game. I really didn’t realize just how fucking attached I am to soldier until recently. I think he’s also the only character to canonically love all the other mercs. It’s been a while since I read the comics, but like... soldier is clearly the only one on the team who cares deeply for the rest of the team. He’s easily the most affectionate of the group, verbally at least (it’s between him and pyro and pyro doesn’t talk). It’s so hard not to love him once you know him.

And it’s not just soldier. Rick May was one of the great VAs of this time, voicing other characters like those in Star Fox and teaching his profession to the next generations. While I’m not super familiar with all of his work, it’s not hard to tell that he loved what he did.

In this time of turbulence around the world and my feelings of great insignificance and helplessness, it’s hard to feel any sort of hope for the future.

Despite everything, the community continues on. And even though things feel hopeless, I think it’s important to remember that you do have friends, and we do have each other, as limited as interaction with each other can be.

I don’t know if this makes any sort of sense. I’ve never been good with words, despite what my old creative writing teacher might say. I don’t really expect anyone to read this, let alone take it seriously. But if I might make just a fraction of influence that Rick May did, then I will be happy.

RIP Rick May. You were the best.

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castellankurze · 5 years

Note

FSF: Someone (or multiple someones?) takes a bubble bath.

fanfic for Completely Normal RPG, run by @lordcaliginous. Also tagging @mystictheurge and @tamsynspeaks as per what is now standard procedure.

Takes place sometime in the month of December.

A Completely Normal Week

Monday

The motorcycle’s engine throbbed as its rider took the final turn into the driveway and slowed to a stop. Shouko dismounted and unlocked the carport before walking the bike inside, pulling her helmet and hanging it off one of the handlebars. The interior of the carport was a disaster, with her mom’s car tucked snugly up against the left side where it had accumulated a fine layer of dust while the rest of the available area was full of tools and spare parts. Some had been left behind by her father, and Shouko had added to the motley collection over the years until the back wall of the carport was hardly accessible, but it wasn’t like they ever used the decorations stored back there.

“Hi mom, I’m home,” she announced as she stepped through the front door, tossing her keys into the nearby basket with a jingle. The Kogawa household was a snug, two-story place with a pair of bedrooms and a bathroom on the upper level with everything else downstairs, and the only response to the girl’s voice was the slow churning of the ceiling fan she’d left on last night.

Once she’d stripped off her riding leathers, Shouko settled down at the table in the family room to do her homework. This consisted of a block of time lasting no more than one solid hour, subjects broken up by use of an egg timer. Over the years she’d gotten pretty good at judging how to mostly finish any given piece of homework in the time allotted, and if she was off, well, partial credit was better than none. She answered questions as fast as she drove her bike, though with considerably more guesswork. 'You could be an A-rank student if you wanted it,’ more than one of her teachers had groused at her. Shouko had come up with any number of excuses over time, but by and large as long as she maintained a D most had learned to live and let live.

At the conclusion of her hour, Shouko packed away her school stuff and left it by the door, there to be grabbed tomorrow morning. That done, she ran upstairs to change her clothes into a set of gym shorts and a plain white shirt, stuffing her earbuds in her ears before heading off to the treadmill.

Most of Shouko’s teachers had guessed at her athletic ability, but those who dismissed the girl as a slacker would have been shocked to see the utter concentration on her face as she sprinted at top speed on her mother’s treadmill, a dumbbell clutched in each hand, stopping only for the occasional drink of water. There once was a time when she would have been soaked with sweat at the end of the workout, but an hour’s run nowadays was little more than maintenance.

When all was said and done Shouko retired to her bedroom, a cavern of rebellious rock music and video game posters from both Japan and America and a battlestation that looked like something that might have been ripped from a NASA installation. Shouko spent her stipends on two things: her bike, and her computer. Lately Saika had been a third, but both longstanding habits were things that that she’d dove into headfirst until she could take apart either and put them both back together blindfolded.

“Oh great, a Genji,” someone complained almost as soon as she’d locked her Overwatch character in. "Nice match everyone, better luck next time.“ Thirty-nine kills and two deaths later Shouko wished everyone a nice day. Quickplay was so damn stupid, and on the next match she chose Roadhog just to mix it up. Someone else whined about multiple tanks and Shouko rolled her eyes. 60% of team damage taken. It wasn’t her fault nobody else could find the point.

"I’m going back to TF2,” she growled aloud, grabbing for her pack of cigs. Of late she’d taped a warning to the front in black capital letters: TWO A DAY. Miyumi always got squirrely when she lit up and Saika always winced. Since she couldn’t avoid the former and felt bad about the latter she’d been cutting down. Given her life lately, it wasn’t like she was gonna live long enough to die of cancer.

She showered and collapsed in bed, lit by the soft red glow of her electronics.

Tuesday

The motorcycle thrummed and growled as she cut the engine and stowed it.

“Hi mom, I’m home.” The keys jingled as they landed in the basket.

An hour for homework. She finished all of it this time.

Today was arm day, and Shouko spent her workout hour doing curls and lifts while Netflix ran some anime she barely payed attention to.

“Hey Eowyn,” someone said as soon as she logged into FFXIV. "Can you craft me a thing?“

"Sure.”

Ten mintues later. "hey are you up for a Castrum Abania run"

“Patch is in like three weeks,” she said with a bit of a sigh in meatspace.

“ya but I really want that sword for glamour plate its ok if you dont wanna go”

“It’s fine I can blow it up with you.”

“thx youre the best blm”

“Hey, Eowyn.” She blinked. That last one had been a whisper instead of guild chat.

“What’s up?”

“I just wanted to say, you don’t seem yourself lately,” her guildmaster said. "Just wanted to check and make sure you’re alright.“

"Yeah I’m good. Just been super busy with all the schoolwork lately.”

“I know the feeling. Are you gonna be full-time again in January?”

Shouko frowned. "I’ll try.“

"Just take care of yourself. Game comes after real life.”

“:) I will.”

She showered and slept a little fitfully that night.

Wednesday

A series of whispers alerted her to the attention of several classmates glancing her way. "Hey, Shouko, can you…“ one of them asked with a blush, curling one arm.

With a grin, she pulled up her sleeve and flexed, to a flutter of giggles. Shouko was never gonna be as strong as Erika, but her daily regimen was having noticeable effects, like leaving her look cut as hell. She was probably down to 15% body fat by now, looking lean and mean.

"Hey, Shouko?” Saika asked at the end of the day. "Would you like to do something Saturday?“

"Sure,” she said, hefting her bike helmet and making sure Saika clipped the spare’s chinstrap in place. "What did you have in mind?“

"Nothing much, just…dinner somewhere?”

Shouko turned the ignition and revved the throttle. "Sounds great.“

After she dropped Saika off she made for the gym, where she could get the type of workout that wasn’t so easy at home. Balance beam, rings, parallel bars - it all came back as easily as breathing. Shouko could spin rings around any of the other girls there. When she wanted to, she could sprint down the balance beam and leap to the vault and from there catch herself on the rings in a split-second one-two-three move that sometimes provoked gasps from newbies.

As little as three years ago, Shouko had been doing this kind of thing pretty much daily. She wondered, sometimes, what her old teammates were up to these days. She didn’t wonder enough to come in on any day but Wednesday, thought sometimes it was extremely tempting to show up jsut to show the lot of them what she could pull off nowadays. She’d never been a Simone Biles, and probably never would be - in fact now that it crossed her mind she wondered if Simone had had an awakening of her own? - but she could have thrashed the regionals nowadays. Funny how things worked out.

She swam a few laps in the pool to cool down and showered before heading home.

"Hi mom.” Jingle.

An hour for homework.

She played a little Mortal Kombat and crushed some jackass who made fun of her tag.

Thursday

The Honda thrummed as she pulled into the drive.

“Hi mom.” Jingle.

Her phone buzzed while she was doing her homework and she didn’t bother looking up until she was done.

“Hi Shouko, they asked me to visit our office in Melbourne while I’m down here, so I’ll be hopping a plane tomorrow. I’ll be a few more days. Have my phone if you need me. Love you!” read her mom’s text.

Shouko stared at it for a minute and texted back “k lu2

Her feet slapped hard against the treadmill. She needed to replace the damn thing when nobody was looking. She was getting to the point where she really needed a higher top speed.

Her Star Wars RPG group canceled again, so instead of playing her Jedi she just spent some more time in CoD blowing holes in people while Fullmetal Alchemist played in the background.

“How are you even watching that,” someone complained in voice chat at one point.

“Listen,” she growled around a cigarette, “don’t hate because Olivier Mira Armstrong has my back.”

He responded with an insinuation that technically wasn’t wrong, but still got him blown to smithereens several times before he finally ragequit.

Shouko stayed up until almost three in the morning before she slumped into bed.

Friday

“A 99. Excellent as always, Ms. Aratani,” the teacher said as she handed out papers. Shouko could see the way Miyumi’s lip trembled as she took the proffered test like it was about to bite her hand off.

“87. Good step up, Shouko,” the teacher said when she reached her.

“Thanks,” she said as she took the paper.

“I mean it,” the woman said, leaning closer. "When you put your mind to a subject you really show your potential.“

Shouko was silent as the teacher moved on. "Thanks,” she grumbled under her breath. The paper crinkled as her hand crushed it.

“Um…excuse me, Kogawa?” the voice caught her as she was walking to her bike.

“Yo?” she said, turning with a blink of her eyes to see a semi-familiar face. One of the girls who’d been looking at her the other day.

“Do you mind if I ask you for a piece of advice?”

Shouko blinked again. "Uh?“

"It’s just…you and Saika…” The girl was blushing hard. "How did you. Um?“

Shouko couldn’t help a chuckle, and she pulled out her customary after-school cig and lit it with a snap of flame from her dagger. The girl didn’t even double-take. Normal people saw what they expected to see. Shouko didn’t even bother carrying her lighter anymore. "Look. You want my advice? Just go talk to her,” she said as she straddled her bike and pulled out her favorite wraparound shades. "Life’s too fucking short and we gotta make time with the people we got before we get left in the dust, you know what I mean?“

"Um…I guess?” the other girl said, rubbing her cheek.

“Trust me. Jump on it,” she said before she revved the throttle.

“Hi mom.” Jingle.

She did her homework so fast her handwriting looked like the fevered sprinting of a deranged chicken.

Her fingertips ached with so many push-ups.

She ended up mostly just browsing the net that night and went to bed.

Saturday

She came out of the bathroom that morning to the sound of her phone buzzing insistently.

“Saika?!” she asked sharply, heart racing.

In the little mirror on the opposite wall, she could see the way her own face dropped.

“Oh. Hi dad.”

She did the math. It was eight in Hitachinaka, which meant it was ten in Ontario. PM.

“It’s super late. You should get some sleep. The plant won’t want their engineer showing up super tired. No, not her, I haven’t seen her in months. Saika’s nice. Yeah, bike’s running great. School’s fine. Mom’s in Australia now, they called her down from Jakarta. I’m fine. Dad, I dropped gymnastics like two years ago. Yeah, tell Karen I said hi. Maybe in a year. Yeah. Bye. …love you too.”She threw the phone against the pillow and did her daily run outdoors. It was cold as hell and overcast besides, but sweatpants and a sweatshirt were all she needed with the way her heart was pumping.

She was gone two hours. When she got back she had a missed call and another text. Saika.

“Hi Shouko, I’m sorry but I don’t think I can go out tonight. I think I must have eaten something bad. x.X I feel like crap. Call me when you can.”

“Want me to bring over some soup?” she asked when the phone picked up.

“No,” said a mewling voice. "I just want to curl up under ten blankets.“

"I’m sorry,” Shouko said.

“No, I’m sorry. I don’t want to leave you hanging. Promise we’ll make it up, k?”

“You know it. Get some rest. L- …later.”

She looked at herself in the mirror.

The flame daggers hissed as they glanced off Shizuka’s katana. Shouko was fast, but the Eventide rep was more experienced and fast as hell for her own part. The open field was about the only place where the pair of them - any of the girls - could really throw down and get a workout in the most important manner. Dojo masters tended to take it bad if you blew up a wall.

“Your concentration is bad today,” Shizuka observed when they finally broke in the late afternoon.

“Yeah. Hey, Shizuka, got a question for you,” she said around the butt of a cigarette. Typical for her, Shizuka didn’t reply verbally, but only raised an eyebrow. “You ever heard of anyone who stayed friends if one went Eventide and one went Radiant?”

Shizuka glowered.

“Didn’t think so."

The Honda chugged as she parked it in one of the narrow bike-only, and she didn’t bother taking off her leathers since it wasn’t like she was going mallratting. She stopped off at the pharmacy and bought some soda, some beer, some chocolate, and some soap.

"Rough day?” the attendant asked in a sympathetic tone. She barely even glanced at Shouko’s ID.

“Uh huh,” she confirmed. In the parking lot, she slid the candy bar she’d palmed out of her jacket sleeve and munched it.

Once home, she dumped the soap in the tub and ran hot water until the foam threatened to spill over. Then she lit a cigarette and slipped in, groaning slightly as it almost scalded her. She let her phone play American synthwave until the battery ran low and the water was cold and she was prune-fingered.

She looked at the battlestation and threw herself into bed, wrapped around her spare pillow. The wind blew hard that night.

Sunday

Two hours for homework instead of one. Weekends.

There was no meeting of the study group this week and so the day was uneventful, except for one instant when she was flipping channels and there was a news report on the ongoing decommissioning of Fukushima which caused her to mash the power button. Natural disasters were not something she wanted to think about right now.

She ordered pizza and spent the evening playing Brutal Doom and listening to Rage Against the Machine.

Tomorrow was a brand new week.

#kurze writes #asked and answered #fanservice friday #Shouko #completely normal RPG #:)#starcunning

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the-captains-on-shore-leave · 6 years

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I've seen a lot of tf2 stuff here and I'm wondering if I should get into it? I know OF the game, but that's pretty much it. What's it about? Where do I start?

buddy Y E S. it’s like this weird unlikely ~timeless masterpiece~ that has sooo many different facets to it. it’s silly and ridiculous and saturated with lots of interesting lore and characters, as well as fun and INCREDIBLY versatile gameplay- it can be played like a serious shooter with a serious objective, or it can become a block party where everything’s silly taunts and hats and the points don’t matter and oh boy just wait until you see the halloween events. tf2′s given me some of the best friends i’ve ever had, has gotten me through some of my darkest times, and has just generally brought me so much joy (directly and indirectly) throughout the years, that it will probably be one of my favorite video games for the rest of my life. so YES i highly recommend you give it a shot lol.

AND OK, SO…I ENDED UP WRITING A LOT. LIKE BASICALLY A BRIEF CRASH COURSE ON TF2. but c’mon man you’re asking me about one of my favorite games..i can’t help myself lol. i mean…objectively it’s very short for covering 10+ years of content, riiiight

but foreal it’ll just take a few minutes to read and it will give you some useful insight into tf2, what it is, and everything else you need to start your ✧・ﾟ:* magical *:・ﾟ✧ hat-based journey (btw almost all italics are links jsyk, i know my blog is dumb and doesn’t make that obvious)

TL;DR:gaem is about shoot and silly hat with 9 boyes. is v fun 2 play, start with am watch meet the team videoz on tf yootoob.

And now for a more detailed explanation:

i’ll start by telling you how it began: “team fortress” was the first team fortress series game ever made. this game was a quake mod, made in the mid-90s, not developed by valve, and based in another engine. it got reeeally popular, so, eventually, valve saw it, liked it, and put a ring on it, hiring the team to make a team fortress half-life mod, and later, a standalone version, known as “team fortress classic” (essentially, in regards to modern lore, tf1). valve eventually started developing a standalone sequel to tfc, “team fortress 2: brotherhood of arms.” this game was, stylistically, VERY different from the tf2 we know today- it was a super-realistic military game (kinda like counter strike?). but for some reason (thank you god) they ended up doing a 180 and went for something more cartoony (if they’d gone with that original design, tf2 probably would’ve outdated and died off years ago). this more cartoony style is what you see today.

so now we’ve covered tf2′s history, let’s talk about what it is: team fortress 2 is an online team-based multiplayer first-person shooter game that features a variety of gamemodes. here’s the basic in-game menu layout when you fire it up:

these different gamemodes include a casual mode, a competitive mode, and a player vs bot mode (which is super fuuuunn). here’s what the menu looks like when you click the “find a game” tab:

i’m mostly familiar with casual mode (formally known as “pubs” for “public servers”), which is the main part of the game anyway, so i’ll list what type of objectives you have to choose from in casual mode: (CORE GAME MODES) attack/defense, capture the flag, control points, king of the hill, and payload; (VALVE DIDN’T KNOW WHAT THEY WERE DOING ALTERNATIVE GAME MODES) payload race, mannpower, pass time, and miscellaneous game modes.

but tf2 doesn’t only appear in game form! i remember i was hella confused about what exactly tf2 was for the longest time because of this, so next, let’s break down what it manifests as: a video game, a comic series, and animated shorts (both official and fan-made). source filmmaker (sfm) is the animation program valve developed and uses to animate their shorts. a few years ago, this program was made free to the public, so there have been maaaaany many fan animations and posters made over the years about tf2 using the program. so many, in fact, that valve decided to start holding an annual tf2 film festival, called “the saxxy awards” (”saxxy” coming from “saxton hale,” a dude we’ll touch on ina bit). the festival is an opportunity for animators to showcase their skills, and SO many seriously amazing projects have come out of them. i recommend checking out winglet, uberchain, mag magnet, krunkidile (specifically his “TSA” series), py-bun, and nonamesleft, they are all very skilled animators who are also quite active in the community! there are so many more amazing sfm animators, but my brain is just about fried (it’s almost 4am), so i can’t think of them right now, but keep an ear open for whenever this year’s saxxies roll around and you’ll discover more no problem!

let’s move onto what it’s about: the story takes place in the 1970s, and centers around 9 mercenaries who have been hired to fight in a “war.” the “war” was started by 2 bitch ass rich ass brothers who got their wealthy father to buy an enormous expanse of land in new mexico and move their family there. the brothers hated each other with a petty fury, and their father hated them both because the land they convinced him to buy….was absolutely worthless! so when he died, he gave their family munitions company “mann co.” to his closest aide (barnabus hale), and left them both nothing but that enormous plot of worthless gravel-filled land (hence the name “the gravel wars”) to fight over. and they’ve been fighting over it ever since. the bros got played, but they are so single-minded in their sibling rivalry that they don’t care.

it’s on this land where most of the in-game maps are located. the brothers’ names are redmond mann and blutarch mann (hence the team names red and blu). in-game, you play on either red or blu. on both sides, you can play as any of the 9 mercenaries, scout/soldier/pyro (offense), heavy/demoman/engineer (defense), or sniper/medic/spy (support). it’s never really touched upon in lore how both brothers managed to hire the same mercenaries to fight, and it probably never will be, since it is just an in-game mechanic. but it does still beg the question. in the shorts, it’s shown that they literally fight clones of themselves (like in the game). in the comics, certain mercenaries are shown on blu team, while others are on red. there are a lot of fan theories, but generally it’s just said that “they fight each other” (interpret as you will). the world may never know.

each of the mercs are referred to by their job title (i.e. heavy weapons guy, sniper, medic, etc.), but they have their own real names oc (except maybe pyro). however, we don’t know all their names yet. they each have really unique personalities and skills that have built them to be these memorable characters. which leads me to where you should start:

i would say go to the team fortress youtube channel and just start working your way through the videos. Start with the “meet the ____” videos, cause those will give you a sense of who the 9 mercenaries are personality-wise (and sort of lore- and gameplay-wise, too). on that channel, you’ll also find some shorts that don’t have to do with any particular mercenary. these shorts were made to coincide with the various in-game updates that have happened throughout the years (the most recent short being “jungle inferno,” released just a few months ago).

once you’ve gone through all of that, and if you find you wanna dive deeper into the lore of tf2, you could start reading the tf2 comics. i highly recommend them, they’re all written very well, have a great sense of humor, and have a surprisingly extensive and intriguing storyline. you can find them all here. the comics are broken up into sections: tf comics, update comics, and the saxton series. the saxton series are some silly vintage comic book covers that feat. ya boi saxton hale (current owner of mann co. and grandson of barnabus hale. also i didn’t mention this before but mann co. supplies the gravel war effort. jsyk). the saxton series isn’t really lore relevant. but the update and tf comics are. i highly recommend starting from the bottom of the page and working your way up. pay attention to the date the comic was uploaded (beneath the comic icon and title), and just read them in chronological order from oldest to newest. that way you won’t get confused or not know who’s who, what’s happening, etc. it’ll basically be like you were along for the updates without having to put up with the wait! speaking of which…

currently we’re all on the edge of our seats waiting for the next and final tf2 comic. been waiting for over a year and counting…

the last comic came two years after it’s predecessor, so….let’s just say you’ve got time. and plenty of it.

OKAY SO I THINK THAT JUST ABOUT BRIEFLY TOUCHES ON EVERYTHING U GOTTA KNOW. the rest of the story is lore stuff that you really should read in the comics. it’s worth it, trust me. and you just gotta experience the game for yourself. you can add me if you want (send me your steam profile) and we can play some. i’m always down for a few rounds :)

anyway, i hope this was helpful and not too tedious to get through. most importantly, i hope it encouraged you to get into tf2! it might seem daunting or a lot of stuff to take in at first, but it gets easier once you get a foothold. and you might decide that you don’t really care for the lore, only the game. or vice versa. but however you choose to enjoy it, it’s a great thing to experience, and i hope you choose to. i hope i helped at least a bit!

#asks #tf2 #tf2 crash course

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queezleposts · 6 years

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Reminder: Cards Unbound As A System Still Isn’t Good

After the dust of HRX has settled and the new patch goes live, I think it’s still important to acknowledge this one fact: cards unbound is still a bad system, to its core. I wrote most of this before OB65 but not many balance changes went through, so it still stands.

OB64 and the new card system released is to me, well...tolerable. This is mainly due to all the changes it received while in PTS, and thanks to a lot of public outcry. Without all the hard as hell feedback we wouldn’t have a bound casual siege, champion chests buyable by gold, FWOTD champion chests in bound mound, etcetera. Let’s move on from that though.

It’s tolerable because the “arcade” mode and the grind inherent to it is only optional now, but it does gate off gamemodes such as onslaught and others along with it. If you wish to have balanced gameplay for any gamemode other than siege, well you’re a bit out of luck. For onslaught lovers like me, this was a bit of a loss.

And despite the rng progression system being optional, it still exists, and the game style known as arcade it is attached to is still being pushed as the core casual experience; if it wasn’t, test maps and the lot wouldn’t be arcade only, and we wouldn’t have had to push this hard just to get a bound version of siege in the casual queues. Arcade is also the option most to the left and most likely to be chosen by new players; that isn’t by mistake.

These I still see as issues because they will inform the way the game progresses from now on. This should definitely be kept in mind; now to my biggest critique, the current existence of Arcade as it stands in Live.

Arcade Mode

Now, what the “arcade” mode with its level ten card system most reminds me of are “multiplier” style custom servers in team fortress two, if you’re familiar with those. What those custom servers do, is enhance the values of the weapons the player chooses to ridiculous and often comical extremes. So “times 10” is the most common value employed, but there are even “times forty” or amazingly “times a hundred” servers. You can see how this would be analogous to me with the extra “levels” given as enhancements to cards in paladins.

The reason I bring this up is because I feel the arcade mode fails at being well…an arcade mode. One of the things that makes “multiplier” servers work is that everyone in the server is playing with the same over the top values; if everyone is overpowered, nobody is. What the arcade servers in paladins do though, is pit people with cards that are overtuned with players that don’t even have their cards at the base “classic siege” level; effectively playing with undertuned cards. That defeats the entire point of playing in a multiplier mode style server – its more fun when everyone is playing on well, the same playing field, EVEN in an arcade mode. It’s just not as fun if you don’t get the same toys everyone else does.

In fact, if you have the bad luck to play against someone with an entire level ten set and you don’t get the same, then it’s the exact opposite experience – it’s no fun at all. This is expounded by the fact that the leveling system for the cards used in this arcade mode is built entirely around rng – you can only level up cards by opening chests. Sure, you can buy champion specific chests, and win those chests as FWOTD, but its still, at the end of the day, a chest. There’s little player choice if at all when it comes to rng, no two ways about it. It adds a lot of frustration to what is supposed to be well, an “arcade” gamemode. Compound this with the fact that this is meant to be a “nearly endless” progression system, for what is again, an ARCADE gamemode, and there’s almost no way to be able to enjoy this arcade “multiplier” style gameplay the way it is supposed to be enjoyed. It’s a lot of unnecessary work for what is traditionally considered a gimmick in literally every other objective based fps game of its kind.

I feel like the way the arcade mode is being pushed with this progression system and as the core casual experience is also unnecessarily limiting. The way arcade mode currently exists it is not a true “arcade” mode and it is also not a true example of “balanced core gameplay” either. It exists in this limbo state where it can’t decide what it wants to be, because of the leveling system tacked on to it. As an arcade mode it is severely watered down and limited and as core gameplay it is an unbalanced joke.

They have to consider what these are cards are like to play with at three points: levels one, four, and ten. If arcade was treated as the side gimmick it should be then we would have just had a single separate queue for playing on arcade style multiplier servers, and we’d have all level tens in that mode and be done with it. And that’s if you get rid of the forced rng based progression system.

Because the highest card values are level ten and any higher would be an even worse slog to grind than what has already been given to us, you can never have or enjoy the wacky experience of say, a multiplier x40 server, or enjoy the player run customizability of the arcade style enjoyed by those who play similar gamemodes in tf2 or even overwatch.

You’ve effectively placed your arcade mode into a boring, boring box by tethering it in this way. Perhaps it seems odd to care this much in regards to the balance of an “arcade” mode, but even arcade modes, in their own way, have their own kind of balance that makes them fun, which is what the end result is supposed to foster. Arcade modes work the way they do because they are supplemental to the core casual experience of the game, not because they are ever presented as the core casual experience in and of themselves.

When you treat them like the side experience they are, you’re able to play with the wackiness that people enjoy in ways you just can’t if it’s meant to be the core casual you’ve been pushing so hard for it to be. This is especially true if you have locked all gamemodes that aren’t siege behind this barrier.

Card Values

While I wanted to focus on the confusion that is the arcade mode as it exists itself, I’d also like to take some time to discuss the card values related here as well. Long story short though, there are issues with the new level four being basically the old level two.

I know Fernando best, so I’ll use him as an example to start off. Many of the cards I use for Fernando feel rather underpowered in their current level four state. Examples include Incinerate which reduces the cooldown of Fernando’s fireball, and Brand which reduces healing when Fireball hits a target. I enjoy playing with cards that revolve around Scorch Legendary based loadouts, so I noticed this immediately. However if you bring their values back in line with their old values under the twelve point system that has issues of its own; one of the reasons the old card values worked, was because you could only have two cards at most at level four; you can’t have Fernando’s Brand, Incinerate, and Last Stand cards all at level four under the old system, so the values under the old twelve point system at level four were justified. I can understand how this can be a balancing act when moving to a leveled system where all cards chosen are well, at the same level – you can no longer have all the cards at their old “level four” values, as the constraints that used to justify their utility at their level – the fact that you’d be giving up similar enhancements for other cards – isn’t there anymore. But it does inevitably have the effect as the system currently exists of making certain loadouts and champions feel incredibly gimped.

An example of this would be playing Pip with a healer loadout. The cards I used to use at their old values, included a card that widened the area of his healing potion, and a card that lowered his healing potion’s cooldown depending on how many teammates were hit – both cards had their inherent values reduced, which makes Pip much harder to play as a healer, if at all (this isn’t touching on the bugs to Pip’s healing potion and its cooldowns on top of that, as this is unrelated to the current subject).

Other cards such as “Possession” for Mal Damba which gives him damage reduction for every mending spirits on an ally hit just feel rather useless at their current values at level four.

But then, you have the exact opposite problem with other cards. In my honest opinion, Legendary Cards should never even have been given “levels” in the first place. Legendary Cards are the ones that alter your champion’s playstyle the most drastically after all; so much so that I would have liked if under the old 12 point system, legendary cards were “unbound” and all available whenever you unlocked each champion.

Conclusions

Just because unbound is technically optional that doesn’t mean its inherent issues should now be handwaved and ignored behind the excuse of “but its just arcade”

If you want a true arcade mode experience, what arcade mode currently provides isn’t it. The way it is being pushed as the core casual only waters down these aspects further.

You will never receive a true arcade experience as long as the current system is being pushed.

You should never treat your core casual gameplay experience as is shown in the classic queues as the side experience to new players, yet here we are.

Basing your progression system around rng chest opening is never a good idea. Softening the blow with champion specific chests is only doing just that: softening it.

“Endless” progression systems have no place in a game like this. A grind sure, but not one built to be endless - this isn’t PVE.

Trying to talk away the progression system by saying “its only arcade” begs the question why they even have it in the first place then. After all, asking people to do all that work for what is being presented as an ARCADE mode is a ridiculous proposition in and of itself.

Allowing card values under the new system in bound to feel both meaningful and not gimped will be difficult if every card can be equipped at the same level.

#paladins champions of the realm #pcotr #paladins cotr #qpgame #long post #queezlerambles

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logan-after-dark · 6 years

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March 3rd 2018

I feel like I had someone else’s lucid dream last night. Many weird and wonderful details below the cut (trigger warning: a character in this dream was molested as a child, and I experienced some vague flashbacks of it/associated trauma):

The first thing I think I remember doing is floating around a place that was familiar to me, although the ‘me’ in this dream wasn’t really me, I don’t think. The elementary school I floated by was familiar to me, in that in my mind I called it Fallingbrook Elementary (which was a school I went to for a few years as a kid, grades 3-6 I believe), but then I turned around to see this castle monument thing (that doesn’t exist near Fallingbrook elementary school), and overheard some tourists nearby talking about how “the King” put a magical barrier around it to keep people out of the vicinity, so that the castle will always be in pristine condition. There’s supposedly a sign on the front of it talking about it, but nobody can get close enough because of the barrier.

I remembered hearing about that as a kid growing up in the area (once again, not me - whoever I was supposed to be in the dream, this girl), and I thought that, since I’m floating around having an out-of-body experience, might as well get a closer look.

Sure enough, there was a sign. Well, more like white letters protruding from the stonework on the front of the small castle, declaring the spell’s intent, the King’s name, and the date it went up. I suppose the sign had to be done first before the barrier spell was cast, which may’ve been a little pre-emptive on their parts, but what can you do when you’re lucid dreaming someone else’s life XD

Anyways, I start floating/flying around this hometown and night is falling, and I find, well, myself. I find myself asleep in bed next to my boyfriend, I guess, and she wakes up in a panic as I start looking through things in her room. See, this girl had a very traumatized past - I believe it was implied that she was sexually abused as a child by a man. The details of the horrible experience started to overwhelm me, and I started to fade out like I was going to wake up, but I struggled through the haunting ‘memories’ and stuck with it. That’s why I started opening drawers. I wanted to take away the last memories of her attacker and get rid of them for her (and for myself) once and for all.

I’m not entirely sure why I, in an out-of-body experience/lucid dream/astral adventure, was able to not only find my conscious and sentient body as if it was a different person, nor why I was able to interact with her environment so directly as to open her dresser drawers and a cupboard, but there I was XD And it woke her and startled her as if there was a ghost in the room, and her boyfriend, whom I knew to be very sensitive and supportive, woke up to hold her shoulders and try to calm her down. At that point I decided to stop haunting her, and decided to let myself be seen by her, instead of remaining as some invisible creepy ghost.

The familiarity in her eyes told me it was like looking into a mirror for her. I explained to her, very calmly, what I was trying to do for her, for both of us. I told her to let me take care of the last remnants of that time, to let me destroy the last few things of him that she had left, and to let me bear that burden. She started crying and hugged me. Her boyfriend left for a couple glasses of water, and when he got back and we both explained what was going on, he held her and encouraged my search.

I found some photos of him, and the memories they provoked made me feel so sick it was nigh unbearable. But I took care of them anyways. Next I found some notes and letters I had written to him, explaining that I didn’t like what was happening. Those were hard to look at. I couldn’t read them, I just couldn’t. I showed them to her and told her ‘I’m taking these to get rid of them, okay?’ She agreed uneasily. But she seemed to be faring a lot better. Her boyfriend held her by the shoulders and she savoured that glass of water as she watched what I was doing.

I purged it all. Anything that I could find that connected me/this poor girl to him.

Now I just had to make sure he was rotting in jail like he should.

I floated through the town to find the small police station and the lockup. I don’t know why he wasn’t in a bigger prison out of town, but that’s where I found him. He was rotting in some concrete cell at the back of the station, and I found him asleep, dressed in a ragged grey jumpsuit, on the can.

He woke up. And he could see me.

And he was silent.

And, somehow, I realized that this wasn’t like him.

There was something off about his demeanor, his mannerisms, everything. He didn’t gloat, didn’t have some one-liner prepped to torment me with, he didn’t even seem to recognize me. This horrible man was someone that I knew very well and at a vulnerable time of my (again, her) life. And he was just sitting in this cell, lifeless.

I quickly realized that I didn’t really have anything to say to him, not in this state. So I left. Phased through the walls and just left him to rot.

I’m not sure how this transition occurred, but the next thing I remember doing was searching this guy’s apartment with my family - mother, father, sister, little brother. They weren’t at all like my family in real life, but I recognized them in the dream as my family. Anyways, we’re digging through his stuff, and someone finds this catalogue of masks, sort of? Long face masks like a founded sheet of paper printed to look like different characters from a video game I (apparently) recognized and enjoyed as a kid. Think sort of like League of Legends meets Team Fortress - big, buff, burly guys in a whole bunch of different roles and with different weapons and abilities. We left the apartment somewhat empty-handed. The place was a complete mess, but whatever we were looking for (evidence the abuse happened, maybe? Validation?), we didn’t really find it there.

As we’re leaving, dusk has fallen and there are very few people out on the streets. This town is old-fashioned, with interlocking brick sidewalks and old stone buildings and churches. So much so that there’s an older lady out lighting the lamps alongside the street and sidewalk. My father greets her and offers her some coin, for which she thanks him, and then I get a look at her face.

It’s not a her. It’s him, in disguise.

I recognize the eyes instantly - one grey eye, one blue - and that wicked smile. He’s out of jail and roaming the streets in a big heavy coat and a long curled wig of dark hair. We were just about to cross the empty street as a group, but I’m frozen in my tracks and have stopped breathing. I’m actually struggling for air, to make any kind of sound to alert my family, but I just can’t. At least, not until my dad comes to check on me, putting a hand on my shoulder once he sees that I’ve stopped.

“HIM,” I gasp. “IT’S HIM.”

He knows exactly what I mean, and my family leaps into action. This guy wasn’t just an average joe, I find out too late, as my family begins to fight him while I stay out of the line of fire and try to support. He cackled and gloated as he manifested some sort of pale white vine weapons from his body, all four taking down each of my family members, knocking them unconscious and putting their lives at risk. I was able to use my dream powers to push him back, to literally will the vines away from my family, rouse them, and heal whatever damage had been done. I barely understood how they were injured, I just willed them better, and I overpowered him as I did so. This caused him to panic a bit and flee, but not before my family’s own powers came into play. My adult sister (who had blonde hair and colourful leggings with a tank top) kicked him in the face from meters away. I think my dad had super strength, and I don’t know what my mom or brother had (yes, it was very reminiscent of The Incredibles - I watched a trailer for the new one recently so that probably inspired this part of the dream XD).

This asshole still managed to get away, despite the fight and effort we all put into it. Instead of chase him down though, my dad said we ought to come up with a plan and find some help.

So that’s what we did. Next thing I know we’re sitting around a table with a map of town, with a bunch of big, burly men. It turns out, these guys from the video game from earlier are also real in this dream, apparently? I definitely felt awestruck that they not only existed, but came to help me with hunting down this monster. The first thing we discovered was that the catalogue of masks that we saw at his apartment, were actually disguise masks that could change your whole appearance if you wear them. He had ordered quite a number of them through this catalogue, and even had one custom-made to look like himself, which was what the poor guy in jail had been stuck with wearing. This created a new problem though, in that the very people who came to help us couldn’t be trusted, because he could literally look like any of them anytime he wanted. Yeah. Great way to start things off.

These guys were very supportive of me though - they dwarfed me in size with their military gear and broad chests, and they were all holding my shoulder, clapping me on the back or hugging me. It felt nice to have that positive attention from a man, after everything I’d gone through in the past, and I felt warm and safe amoung them, in spite of the whole mask issue.

The characters in the game that I remembered were listed alphabetically I remember, with the first guy being caucasian with blue eyes and brown hair just long enough to have waves in it. He had a headset with a small blue screen suspended in front of one eye, and red and white body armour. His codename was Atllas I think. The next guy down on the list had a surname that started with B I believe, who was dark-skinned and looked fairly similar to TF2′s Demoman, except with both eyes, more wrinkles in his face, big broad chest, and no Scottish accent. He actually remarked at one point in the meeting that he thought the game was ridiculous, and he didn’t understand why anyone ever played it. I said “Well, here I was about to tell you that you were my favourite character to play,” and he looked abashed while Atllas had a good laugh.

The meeting left off on a rather positive note despite everything else that happened in the dream, and after that we started searching for that asshole, but after some brief confrontations that I barely recall and him switching masks a whole bunch, my memory of the dream itself gets quite fuzzy, and I don’t know whether we actually managed to catch him in the end.

#dream journal #lucid dream #tw: child molestation #not for real though #just implied #it's never happened to me #in here I try and help protect a girl from the memories of it #wow my mind goes dark places sometimes #almost as much as it gets weird #this dream was a horror film in the making

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palliddata · 7 years

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Design Theory: Gachapon

Good evening everyone. Allow me to introduce myself: My name is Tiger Louck, and I’ll be covering videogame industry and design related topics during my time here. I should have some pretty interesting stuff lined up here, so let’s begin.

What’s the point of the majority of games? Fun. What’s the other point of games? To make a developer money. You wanna know what’s Fun and Makes People Money? Gambling. But of course, in a similar fashion to cigarettes and alcohol, the dangers of gambling are well-documented and the industry is heavily regulated. But gambling is only considered gambling if you put real money in and get real money out, at least legally speaking. But speaking in terms of actual design, the Gachapon system, which recently appeared in a litany of high-profile games accross the industry, is absolutely gambling. If you’re not familiar with the system, or haven’t given it much thought when you’ve encountered it, this will come as a surprise, so allow me clue you in on this dumpster fire of an industry trend.

Gambling is, as I mentioned, supposedly fun. Fun as a concept is more nuanced than most people will ever think about, which in most cases is fine, there’s better things to waste your time on, but there’s a good number of cases where uncertainty in the one’s personal understanding of fun can be exploited. Gambling is one of these, because gambling isn’t actually that fun. How interesting is it, really, to determine success or failure using a device which gives you a random, evenly distributed number between one and six? What about using the contents of a deck? The fall of a ball into a spinning wheel? Exempting sleight of hand and card counting (which casinos will throw you out for, anyway) there is literally no way to control these outcomes. Success or failure does not reflect upon the player in any way: failure is not your fault, but neither is victory, so both feel hollow.

And yet people play.

Part of the reason why is pretty reasonable stuff: casinos have atmosphere, and people, and lots of fun entertainers and alcohol. All perfectly reasonable things to find fun. Gambling always tries to be a party, or, in less commercial contexts, a hangout at bare minimum. But there’s other psychological phenomena at work here; have you ever been asked to kiss or blow on a pair of dice? Why is it traditional to shake them around in your cupped hands before throwing them on the table? Humans are aggressive pattern finders, and it is at this juncture that this finally bites us in the ass. Victory is not expected in gambling, but it is possible, so when it happens, the player becomes very happy, and tries to find out what caused the victory in the first place. If this were spear hunting, there’d be enough information in the course of the event that the hunter would be able to construct an accurate-enough picture of why the hunt was successful, and that picture would be mostly truthful to the reality of the situation. But that information was never present in gambling, since the bare act of throwing dice is simply not complicated enough to have things with understandable cause and effect. Because the player can’t reliably attain success, the natural instinct is to experiment, and the moment a thing you do coincides with a successful outcome of the dice (or cards, or marble on that stupid spinning thing) the player latches onto that event. A man at a craps table asks the woman at his left to kiss the dice, like he sees people do in the movies all the time, and it just so happens that the cascade of unknown variables says “YOU WIN” this time, and so he does it again and again and again, every loss ignored because he only cares about the victories, and the victories say the kiss works.

“Yeah, I had some losses this time, but there’s hope, because I know my method works, so I’m gonna come back.” He says, walking out of the casino with empty pockets

Then the operant conditioning starts to kick in. He keeps going to the casino because going to the casino is where the success, and the rewards, and the happiness is. His bank account says one thing but he’s more inclined to trust his brain, which is saying another, and by god he swears by his methods. They call this fun, but I have my doubts

So what, then, is Gachapon, and why is it gambling?

The roots of the phenomenon are old, at least compared to most videogame trends. It started in japan, in the 90s at the latest, and rapidly spread throughout the world. It’s those small vending machines that you put quarters into and get a small capsule with a toy or figurine in it. The name is also spelled Gashapon, and it’s actually a romanization of a japanese onomatopoeia for the sound of the crank and plop of the mechanism and capsule. The idea was that players would try to collect every figurine in the collection, and as they neared a complete collection, they’d get duplicates instead of what they wanted, prompting them to purchase again, or resort to trading if they could.

The gambling psychology at play here has to do with the unexpected victory when the player is at the point where they get lots of duplicates. Players don’t remember getting duplicates, but they do expect them, so when they do get a capsule that they actually wanted, they get just enough motivation to continue, and forget the fact that they’re getting duplicates. The naive user feels justified in their purchase, as they’re basing their judgement on how they feel, as opposed to the math of the situation, which says they just spent ten dollars to get a small plastic figurine.

It turns out this system works really well in videogame monetization. It’s already been present for years in games like World of Warcraft and rogue/roguelike RPGs in the way the loot that drops from enemies is randomized, forcing players to redo boss fights to get the gear they want, but it was unexamined as a mechanic; accepted, but not scrutinized. Until recently, the most effective use of this system was by the very same World of Warcraft, which had a business model based around getting a player invested and then stretching the amount of time it takes them to do things (thus standardizing the exponential experience curve in RPGs in favor of a linear one).

It was an effective way of forcing the reuse of content. Then Team Fortress 2 went free to play.

If I remember correctly, the game’s revenue something like quadrupled near-instantly. The core of the monetisation wasn’t something anyone else was considering monetizable: appearances. Turns out people will pay real money to look good in a virtual environ, who knew? In terms of gachapon systems, TF2 is actually the least straightforward and, frankly, a bad example of the system when you compare it to something like Overwatch, because while TF2 introduced the system, Overwatch didn’t so much perfect it as they did corporatize it (see the next article for more on that).

Overwatch has a wide variety of ways to customize the look of its many heros. All told, there are skins, emotes, voice lines, sprays, victory poses, and highlight intros, plus player icons independant of the character being played. Putting aside the issues i have with not letting players make their own player icon and spray, the system has a large possibility space for personal expression. All of these cosmetics are acquired through a randomized “loot box” system. Instead of creating duplicates when trying to fill a set, the overwatch gachapon system floods the pool of available items with items the player is likely to not want, like boring sprays and generic voice lines. The “bad outcome” is different than normal Gachapon, but the effect and principle is the same. The only thing it’s possible to buy on the Overwatch store is the lootboxes. While the boxes do give players in-game currency which can be used to buy skins, this money is doled out in very small amounts, and so if a player wants a lot of items, or a very valuable one, the best they can expect is to get it via the boxes. This, combined with the usual sales and events, means that a player attempting to get an item worth a dollar or so on its own may spend $40 on loot boxes attempting to improve their chance of getting it, and then rationalize the expenditure through all the other items they got (which even discounting the truly undesired items will be a fair few). In this way a player will spend more money attempting to get an item than they would have if the item was simply available to purchase directly.

The moment players realize what’s happening, the system becomes deeply depressing, and pretty soon most players are gonna realize they aren’t gambling men, and don’t enjoy the sensation of a tidal wave of crapulent cosmetics and unpredictable barriers between them and looking good.

#tiger louck #Gachapon #lootbox #overwatch #game design #palliddata #Original

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rootbeergoddess · 7 years

Text

Funbags

It’s finished! First of all, thank you to @lastqueenofmars and @industrialmoosecat for beta reading. I also got some help from my buddy over on my TF2 account, @kaminari-kitt Lastly, both @maddybeck01 and @multi-villain-imagines (who inspired this) asked to be tagged in this! Who's ready for some sexy space fun with everyone’s favorite pirate? A03 link.

If you like this story, please reblog it or buy me a coffee as a tip!

Frowning at yourself in the mirror, you came to a conclusion. Your breast had definitely gotten bigger. Great, this was exactly what you needed! Bigger boobs and not a single bra shop in the whole galaxy! You could possibly ask Quill if he could somehow buy you some. But then, you realized that if you asked him to buy you bras, he would never let live it down. Sighing, you tried to think. What could you possibly do? For now, you decided to maybe just wear a sweater. Now, where on did you put that stupid sweater?

You heard the door open. Shit, Yondu was back! Quickly, you grabbed a shirt and put it on.

“Ah, there you are. What are you still doing in here?” He asked.

“Nothing, just---thinking maybe redecorating!”

That was the best lie you could think of? Yeah, Yondu was going to know you were lying. He stared at for a second and then he crossed his arms. While Yondu wasn’t the smartest man in the galaxy, he knew you well enough since the two of you had been together for three years. Lying to him never worked so you never did it but right now, you didn’t want him to look at you. Not until you found a way to fix your problem.

“What’s wrong?” He asked.

“Nothing, everything is fine!” You smiled.

“You’re doing that thing that you do when you lie.”

“Smiling?”

“Fake smiling.”

Fuck. You shouldn’t have tried to smile. Whenever you lied and you tried smiling, it looked weird.

“No, I’m fine. I promise. I just have to find my sweater.”

“It’s hotter than Drax’s nipples in this ship! You don’t need no goddamn sweater!”

Okay, this wasn’t working. Yondu knew you too well. He had already caught you lying and he probably noticed you wearing an old shirt. It was the only thing you could find. It was a T-shirt from Earth with the Beatles on it and you only wore it when you slept since it had a hole in it.

“What is wrong?” He asked again.

“For the last time, nothing!” You said. “I just need my sweater.”

“No you don’t,” Yondu placed his hands his hips. “Take off that shirt.”

So at this point, you decided to just walk past him. Sadly, this didn’t work and you also forgot that Yondu was much stronger than you. Before you know it, Yondu was trying to wrestle with you. First, you tried pushing him away but he wrapped his arms around you. Then, you tried biting him which only made him bite you. Then you managed to slip out of his grasp. It was only for a second because he grabbed you again. But instead of grabbing you by the arm, he grabbed the shirt. Since it was old and had holes, that was all it took for the shirt to rip. So you were left in an ill-fitting bra.

“Don’t look!” You cried as you turned around.

“Did someone hit you? You got a scar? Why ain’t you looking at me?” Yondu came up behind you. “Come on, turn around.”

Yondu turned you around but your arms were covering your breasts.

“Move your arms.”

“No,” You shook your head. “You’re going to freak out.”

“Is this some weird human thing? Move your arms.”

“If I move them, you have to promise not to freak out.”

“Fine, I won’t.”

With a sigh, you moved your arms. There was an awkward silence.

“Okay, I’m lookin at your tits. I’m not complaining but why?”

“Yondu, they got bigger! Look!” You pointed at them. “They’re massive now.”

“And this is a problem?”

“Oh my god, my bra doesn’t even fit!” You whimpered slightly. “The last one broke so this is the only one I have! I can’t walk around without a bra! This also means I gained weight! Oh my god, I must be getting fat! Fuck, I’ll have to go on a diet and work out and---”

“Hey, hey, hey,” Yondu took your hand. “Calm down.”

“I can’t! I worked so hard to maintain my weight and now I'm getting fat again!” A tear rolled your cheek.

“Alright, that’s enough,” Yondu pulled you closer. “Now I don’t know that much about humans so I might be wrong here but don’t humans gain weight? They're supposed to do that.”

“No one wants a fat girlfriend.” You pushed him away.

“Guess my name is no one,” Yondu pulled you back. “So what if you’re fat? I don’t give a fuck. I mean you’re dating an ugly bastard like me right? Why would I care about how you look?”

“You are not ugly, you’re ruggedly handsome.” You replied.

“I’m blue with jagged teeth. You have a weird definition of handsome,” He said with a smirk. “Bottom line, big tits aren’t the end of the world. Same if you end up getting fat.”

“Yeah but I still need bras. I can’t walk around braless.”

“I vote for walking around braless.”

You just stared at him and he gave you a sheepish grin. It was at that moment you bra finally snapped. The clasp came undone. Rolling your eyes, you removed the useless garment.

“Great, now what am I going to do?” You ask with a sigh. “There is no way I’m asking Quill to buy me a new one and---Yondu?”

Since Yondu was blue, his cheeks turned a strange shade of purple when he blushed. It was rare to see him blush. Some people don’t believe you when you tell them that Yondu can and has blushed. Confused, you looked at his eyes and followed his gaze. Oh, that was why he was blushing. With a small smile, you dropped your broken bra and then squeezed your breasts together. Yondu’s blush grew. Alright, maybe having bigger tits wasn’t so bad.

“See something you like?” You asked.

“I see something that I’d like to motorboat.” He replied.

“Pervert.”

“Sexy.”

Smiling, you wrapped your arms around him and kissed him. Against your lips, you felt that familiar cocky smirk form as he returned your passion. Pulling you closer, he kissed you deeply while his hands went to your breasts. You pulled back to look down. The more you thought about it, the more you liked these big old sacks of fat. Yondu’s thumbs rubbed over your nipples repeatedly, making them hard. The familiar heat rose from your core as he continued.

He stopped and you were about to ask why when he suddenly slung you over his shoulder. He walked to the bed and threw you onto to it before getting on top of you. His red eyes roamed over your body, taking in the sight of you. Being exposed before him made you blush slightly, wondering how you looked to him. He removed his jacket and took off his shirt before kissing you intensely. While your lips were locked, his hands unzipped your pants and he pulled them down roughly.

Yondu continued to kiss you, trailing down your neck. He’d nip at your skin, making you shudder and your toes curl. Down he went, Yondu’s lips lavishing your skin until he came to your breasts. Your eyes went wide once you felt his rough tongue against your nipple. A moan escaped your lips. Getting the desired effect, Yondu continued to lick. The heat within your core began to flow through your legs and up into your chest. Breathlessly, you moaned his name and that spurred him on.

“Damn, these are big,” He said, looking at you. “And the best part? I don’t have to share ‘em.”

“Last time I checked, these were attached to me.”

“C’mon darling, you know they’re mine,” Yondu grinned. “All mine.”

Yondu captured your nipple between his teeth, making you gasp. Once more you closed your eyes as you began to moan. Desperately, your hand reached down towards your already soaked panties but Yondu batted you away.

“Baby, please!” You whimper.

“Not yet, I wanna enjoy my new toys.”

Yondu grabbed your breasts and squished them together. He waggled his eyebrows before sucking on both your nipples. Another moan comes from you as he sucked. You could feel your nipples pushing together in his mouth. It felt tight and slick and utterly amazing. It was driving you crazy, the overwhelming hotness of it all. Panting, you tried pushing him away. Yondu didn’t budge.

“Yondu, please!” You said between moans. “It’s too tight!”

“But I like seeing you squirm,” He finally released your breasts. “I don’t know how you could hate this rack of yours.”

Yondu grabbed your breasts, squeezing the soft flesh and then rubbing your nipples again. Your moan was muffled as he kissed you again. His thumbs teased your nipples. Yondu continued to kiss you as rubbed, tugged and flicked the harden nipples. God, the teasing was driving you mad! All you could do was hungrily kiss him back and rub your crotch against his. Yondu knew what you wanted but he was having fun teasing you. But two could play at this game. While he continued to play with your breasts, you let knee nudge his bulge. Instantly, Yondu tensed up and you smiled.

“I have a feeling you want something.” Yondu grinned.

“Yes, can you guess what it is?”

Yondu’s smile grew. Finally, he removed those goddamn pants. When he pulled down his boxers, his alien dick was revealed. It almost looked like a human dick despite being blue. But on the sides, it had some strange type of tendrils. They looked sharp but didn’t hurt. Either way, you loved it. Big, thick and all yours. Quickly, you slipped off your panties. Yondu ran a hand over your leg, looking at with a proud look. You couldn’t help but smile. Who cared if your breasts were big? Yondu didn’t. In fact, he liked them. If he liked, maybe you could.

Opening up your legs a bit more, Yondu wrapped his arm around your waist before pushing in. You brought a finger up to your mouth and bit down on it. Your other hand grasped the bed sheets as he began to thrust forward. While he did, your massive breasts wobbled. Yondu licked his lips as he stared at your chest. In the back of your head, you were thinking of ways to use these to your advantage. It would be very easy to get your way now.

“Play with them.” He commanded.

Grabbing your breasts, you pressed them together. Yondu’s grin grew as you fondled yourself. You lick the top of your breasts, biting at your flesh and grabbing your nipples. Yondu shivered but he didn’t stop. All this just made him more eager. You moaned loudly as he fucked you vigorously but you didn’t stop playing with your tits. Smiling, you got an idea. It took a bit of maneuvering but you managed to stick your own nipple into your mouth.

“Fuck, that is hot.” Yondu breathed.

Keeping your eyes on him, you licked your nipple and Yondu whimpered. He probably wanted to play with them. No, it was your turn now. With your eyes still on him, you encircled your nipple with your tongue. He whimpered again and picked up speed. His breathing becomes quick as he grips your shoulder. He slammed into you, hitting your g-spot. Letting out a moan of pleasure, you orgasm. Yondu thrust a bit more until you feel his release. Panting, he collapsed on top of you.

“I love you.” He managed.

“Are you talking to me or the tits?”

“Can it be both?” Yondu asked with a toothy grin. “So are you gonna keep them?”

“Depends. Will a certain, sexy space pirate of mine buy me a new bra?”

“What if I buy you one hundred new bras, some new shirts and one of those fangled new iPod things if you let me play with your tits all day?”

Yeah, you were going to enjoy your big tits.

#Rootbeer Writes #Guardians of the Galaxy #Yondu #Yondu Undonta #Yondu x Reader

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ladytitanium · 7 years

Note

1,2,7 to 17, 19 to 23, 25 to 70

OKAY SO this got suuuuper long and I’m gonna answer it under a readmore but thank you so much for asking!

1. First game you played obsessively?

Definitely Minecraft. I got it around 2012 and played it whenever I could, although shortly afterwards I moved on to playing a lot of TF2 with some online friends.

2. A game that has influenced you creatively? Writing, drawing, etc.

TF2 and Portal 2 were the first things I ever wrote fanfic for, so I’d say those two are big and important for sure. More recently, though, Transistor and Pyre have been inspiring me to pursue more art and music.

7. Any games you have multiple copies of?

I have Portal 2 for xbox 360 and PC.

8. Rarest/Most expensive game in your collection?

I had a copy of Link to the Past in great condition, but my ex stole that and my entire SNES so :/

9. Most regrettable purchase?

No Man’s Sky is the obvious answer but I think I have some steam games lying around that I bought and played once, or just never touched. Not sure which ones, though. Usually if I’m going to spend actual money on something, I try to make sure it’s good first.

10. Ever go to a midnight game release or stand in line for hours?

No, but I’d like to someday.

11. Have you ever made new friends from playing video games?

Not in the sense of meeting people in an mmo or anything, but I’ve definitely bonded with people I’ve met over a mutual love of games.

12. Ever get picked on for liking games?

Nah, not really. I’ve been picked on more for not having played enough games, honestly.

13. A game you’ve never played that everyone else has?

I’ve never played Overwatch or most online competitive games, or any MMOs aside from like 5 hours of gw2.

14. Favorite game music?

Anything Darren Korb, the composer for Supergiant Games, has made. Bastion, Transistor, and Pyre OSTs will always have a special place in my heart. Honorable mention goes to the Portal 2 soundtrack.

15. If it was a requirement to get a game related tattoo, what would you pick?

I……. have a triforce tattoo…….. on my left wrist……………

16. Favorite game to play with your friends IRL?

I tend to like watching people play games rather than doing competitive or couch coop type things, so it’s hard to say. I used to hang out with my friends while we all did playthroughs of the Mass Effect trilogy, though, which was wonderful.

17. Ever lose a friend over a game?

Nah. Had some arguments over the Souls games, though.

19. Favorite handheld console?

3DS, definitely, although I do have some nostalgia for the good ol’ GBA.

20. Game that you know like the back of your hand?

Portal 2, although it’s been a few years since I’ve played so I might not be as familiar with it as I once was. Barring that, Stardew Valley.

21. Game that you didn’t like or understand as a kid but love now?

I can’t think of any, honestly, since I almost never played anything as a kid.

22. Do you wear game related clothing/accessories?

The occasional Zelda t-shirt, and my old Aperture Science tanktop. I’d wear more if I owned more.

23. The game that you’ve logged the most hours into?

TF2, I think? I used to play for hours every evening.

25. Were you ever an arcade game player?

Sadly, no. My mother thought arcades were giant wastes of time and money and would corrupt me and make me stupid.

26. Ever form any gaming rivalries?

No, I don’t get competitive much.

27. Game that makes you rage?

Any kind of roguelike makes me angry just thinking about it. I hate losing progress. Really difficult platformers make me frustrated and angry too.

28. Ever play in a tournament?

Dear god no.

29. What is your gaming set up?

Currently, none. I have a shitty, half-broken laptop.

30. How many consoles do you own?

I own a Switch and a 3DS. I have access to an XBONE though.

31. Does the 3DS and/or Virtual Boy hurt your eyes or give you headaches?

I’ve never tried a Virtual Boy, but leaving the 3D on high on my 3DS is something I’ve only done once due to the nasty headache it gave me.

32. Did you ever play a game based on your favorite show/cartoon/movie/comic?

I don’t think so, no.

33. Did you ever have any bootleg games or plug-n-play games?

I had a Sonic handheld game from a happy meal, does that count?

34. Do either of your parents play video games?

My dad does, a lot. Mostly MMOs. I think my mother did too, but mostly Civ, some ancient Egypt themed MMO, and Guild Wars, from what I can recall.

35. Ever work in a game store? Or do you have a favorite game shop?

I worked in a game store for about six months late last year/early this year. It’s the best job I’ve ever had.

36. Have you ever shed actual blood, sweat or tears over a game?

Oh, tears, absolutely. Plenty of games have made me cry. FFXV, Persona 5, Transistor, Portal 2, the list goes on.

37. Have you played E.T. for the Atari 2600? Do you think that’s the worst game ever, or do you have another nomination?

I actually have played it! Perks of working at a game store that sells Ataris. I was utterly baffled by it, so I think “worst game ever made” is a fair title.

38. A game you’re ashamed to admit that you like?

I really enjoy all the walking simulators/art games I’ve played. I know a lot of people say they aren’t real games or whatever but I think most of the ones I’ve played are genuinely enjoyable experiences.

39. A sequel that you would die for them to make?

...Portal 3, but with the same writers+VAs+team in general. I know that’ll never happen now but I need it like I need air.

40. What to you think of virtual reality headsets or motion controls?

Motion controls can be hit or miss. I think they need to be integrated well and very functional to be enjoyable. Like, wii sports and stuff? I loved it. Those tilt puzzles in the shrines in BOTW? Absolutely horrendous. As for VR, I really want to try it someday. I think it’s neat.

41. A genre that you just can’t get into?

Roguelikes, Souls-like (where the only purpose of the game is to be as difficult as possible so people who master it can be snobs about it), and any realistic online-only FPS things like Call of Duty are the three main things I will never, ever touch.

42. Maybe it wasn’t your first game, but what was the game that started you on your path to nerdiness?

Pokemon Ruby, absolutely.

43. Ever play games when you really should have been concentrating on something else?

All through the second half of high school, tbh.

44. Arcade machine that has consumed the most of your quarters?

I’ve never actually gotten to play arcade games much.

45. How are you at Mario Kart?

I’m only decent at Mario Kart Wii, because I played it a lot.

46. Do you like relaxing games like Animal Crossing or Harvest Moon?

Absolutely! Animal Crossing New Leaf and City Folk are games I love dearly and have spent a LOT of time on over the years.

47. Do you like competitive games?

Almost never. I only ever played TF2 with friends, and that pretty much extends to any competitive game I might play. Only with friends, and only sometimes.

48. How long does it take your to customize your player character?

So. Long.

49. In games where you can pick your class, do you always tend to go for the same type of character?

Yeah, mages are kind of my thing. I get jumpy when I have to do a bunch of melee so I tend to prefer to stand back a little. I always went full biotic in Mass Effect for that reason.

50. If you were a game designer, what masterpiece would you create?

That’s a tough one. I’ve had a few concepts over the years, but none that have really stuck with me.

51. Have you ever played a game for so long that you forgot to eat or sleep?

Yeah, definitely. I lose track of time really easily if I’m absorbed in something.

52. A game that you begged your parents for as a kid?

All Pokemon games from gen 4+5.

53. What’s your opinion on DLC these days?

Any DLC that adds characters or plot necessary for the full enjoyment of the game should be free imo. Skins/weapons/maps/non-essential quests and missions can be behind a paywall. Like, ME3′s From Ashes DLC should have been free, and I go back and forth between whether it was cool to have Citadel and Omega DLCs behind paywalls, but all the weapons/armor/alternate appearance packs I’m totally fine with being paid DLC.

54. Do you give in to Steam sales?

Only when I have money.

55. Did you ever make someone you hated in the Sims and did mean stuff to them?

I never played any Sims games.

56. Did you ever play Roller Coaster Tycoon and kill off your guests?

Never played Roller Coaster Tycoon either.

57. Did you ever play a game to 100% or get all of the achievements?

Minish Cap, I think? I tried to 100% Super Mario Galaxy but I couldn’t ever quite do it.

58. If you can only play 3 games for the rest of your life, which ones do you pick?

Oh, shit. Uh. Animal Crossing New Leaf, Pokemon Sun (or Moon), and... I can’t pick a third one. Probably something with multiplayer.

59. Do you play any cell phone games?

Yeah, but most of them are just little time-wasting puzzle games.

60. Do you know the Konami Code?

Yes!

61. Do you trade in your games or keep them forever?

I’ve never traded in a game but I might if I bought a physical copy of something I didn’t like.

62. Ever buy a console specifically to play one game?

Does the Switch count, since till Splatoon 2 came out I only had BOTW on it? I’ve considered getting a PS4 just for P5 and Horizon Zero Dawn.

63. Ever go to a gaming convention or tournament?

I went to GenCon a few times when I was really young but I barely remember it, and I’ve tagged along to a handful of Warhammer 40k tournaments with my dad, but that was also like 10 years ago. So no, not really.

64. Ever make a TV or monitor purchase based on what would be best for gaming?

I’ve never bought a TV or monitor myself.

65. Ever have a Game Genie, Game Shark or Action Replay? Did it ever mess up your game’s save file?

I had an Action Replay for shinies in X and Y.

66. Did you ever have have an old Nokia with Snake on it?

No, my first phone was a Windows phone when I was 14 because my mother hated technology and wanted to control me so a phone was way too much freedom and entirely out of the question :/

67. Do you have a happy gaming-related childhood memory you want to share?

I remember the first time I beat Portal 2, sitting on the floor in front of the TV and crying tears of joy. That was pretty great.

68. Ever save up a ton of tickets in an arcade to get something cool?

I wanted to, but didn’t go to arcades enough.

69. In your opinion, best game ever made?

Transistor. Can’t think of a single bad thing about it, honestly. Persona 5 and Horizon Zero Dawn are near-flawless too.

70. Very first game you ever beat?

The first game I beat was Pokemon Ruby, but idk if that counts since I shared with my brother, and I think my dad had to help us beat the Elite 4 because we were young and didn’t grind enough. I took turns with Portal 2, too. Portal 1, maybe?

#anonymous #goodsola shh

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