#though i do have a good life update
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they don't know that my fanseason project is basically cancelled
#my rambles#rip to the 2 ppl who were interested in my fanseasons#it's been a wild couple years and i need to focus on other aspects of my life#and also i just dont have the time motivation or energy to tell the story i wanted to tell#though i do have a good life update#ive been taking anti depressants and its been helping tremendously#and ill still make art and fandom content when i feel energetic abt it#but ya
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I need a therapist who I can argue with and who will give me jewish advice
....a rabbi. I need a rabbi
#afakelj#seriously though#i thought my last therapist was good!#and then i tried to change some stuff and do some arguing#and the reaction was... mrrrgh#also idk. i feel like.... i don't want to have to update the therapist about what is happening in my life#which is stupid! of course i should they've got many patients#but i feel like what i just sit there talking about my week? i do that to my friends already#i'd like a situation where they knew me enough to already have a general idea of what was going on#so i could meet with them less frequently. say once a month#and then we could work on a specific problem i'm having and i could get advice on that and see how that's working out#i really think of therapy as brain and emotions doctor and where i'm at now i want...more jewish methods of dealing with life?#does this make any sense#.....a bubbe would also work in a different but similar way. i need one of them too T.T#but you see i pay the rabbi by dues to the synagogue. so i just have to find a synagogue i like (lmao just)#i have to marry someone and start raising grandchildren to pay the bubbe
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procreate on my new ipad is so pixelated it's so annoying
#googled it and i think its a problem with an ios update#that i never updated to on my old ipad#so i can't do much#other than making the canvas bigger/using a larger DPI#and. with how my ipads storage issues was a big downfall for it last time#im not risking making procreate tons bigger in storage than it needs to be by doing that#my life will have to be like a video game i suppose😔#we're balling though im trying hard to beat the stage#all while im still collecting coins#so its all good#pandas.txt#pandas talks
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i slept really good last night :o)
#i conked before 1 am which is such a rarity these days#i wish i felt good today i would be unstoppable#my tummy hurts so bad and idk what i did to it to treat me this way#i woke up at 6 am in pain and then forced myself back asleep hoping itd go away and then woke up 2 hours later with the same pain :o(#im thinking i might actually be allergic to red dye < so im gonna keep a look out but#o7 < me looking out#bc idk what else it could have been i didnt reallt eay much yesterday bc my tummy hurt too#i unno but i hope i can do some drawing today i had to play life catch up yesterday and battle the depression#im gonna list the good stuff from yesterday for myself now while im sitting on my bathroom floor lol#i bought kimchi my supermarket hasnt had in a while which wahoo!#i out clean sheets on my bed#i finished a commission#i cleaned my room#finished a dndads episode#took a nice shower#spoke on the phone with some friends and made plans with coworkers/friends#missing everyone who is far from me terribly which is part of the depression im sure#anyways those are ally my updates i did sleep really good even though i woke up early and thats the good thing#and if u made it this far#i love u an hope u have a good day :3#personal
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hiiii tumblr 💕
#what a week i have had tumblr!!!#you may remember my new dog from last weekend! her name is back to foxy and will remain as such <3#i have been sick this week and very miserable and i become an emotional mess when i am sick so i have been#EXTREMELY overwhelmed with foxy </3#BUT !!!! i finally feel better today and i also feel better with my new fuzzy friend!!!#i have figured out what i need in my day to not be completely overwhelmed and i think i will no longer have any meltdowns about her#foxy is doing well and our other dogs are adjusting well to her presence!! i think she and bear will grow to be great friends#she still has her stitches from being spayed but when they come out next week she'll be able to play more & i think they'll both enjoy that#unfortunately i have gotten literally no reading done since she came to live with us so RIP to my readathon but that is okay!! in good news#i HAVE watched almost all of the good place this week bc it's what i watch when i'm sick & even though i'm not sick anymore i'm Invested#okay life update over it's almost foxy's bedtime so i must go!! anyway ily gay people in my phone <3333#personal post
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it’s finally getting cold enough that i can bring my cardigan collection back into rotation without feeling like i’m gonna melt into a puddle the second i step outside!!!
#Seven.txt#my face#i have rematerialized back out of the void to once again make my once-in-a-blue-moon selfie & life update post#i’m running on 4 hours of restless sleep and the single banana i ate for lunch earlier today. let’s do this#hrrrrg i hate the lighting in my bathroom but i refuse to take pictures in the absolute Mental Illness Disaster Zone™️ that is my bedroom#anyways. got diagnosed with Mystery Pain Syndrome at the dentist today. so now i take ✨steroids✨#the less funny explanation is that my tooth still hurts with pressure nearly a month post-root canal and That’s Not Good#so we’re trying some new medications to see if that fixes it. and if not then who knows. root canal pt.2 the sequel. or extraction. sigh#and so the Dental Saga continues. todays visit went quite well in spite of the unforeseen mystery pain delaying the tooth-shaving plans#we had some time to kill so he managed to fill some of my other tiny cavities while i was there today so that’s good#okay moving on. what else. uhh. OH they finally came out and ran the fiber to the house last week!!! now i’m just waiting on one more-#-guy to come and finish the interior install and the long awaited fast internet will finally be mine eheheheheeeee#now i can feel my hours upon hours of unedited gameplay footage breathing down my neck :)#man i’ve got so much stuff piled up right now. i’m drowning in Tasks and it’s a lil overwhelming but i’ll handle it all! eventually#uhhhhm my current writing project is coming along well! i’ve never put so much time and effort into a oneshot before in my life#its a labor of love though and i think i’m gonna be really proud of myself (and the fic) once it’s complete#even if no one reads it bc it’s so goddamn self indulgent and kinda lowkey throws canon out the window but like. fuck it!#if i want Astarion to write a song on piano and perform it for me while mentally taking me on a trip down memory lane. then so be it#fr though i’ve never written anything quite like this and i rlly want to do it justice. even if its unrealistic i still want it to be Good#in other news i received word that one of the chickens i sponsor at my local Gentle Barn has passed away so i had a lil cry abt that#i feel so bad for his little tiny chicken wife. they obviously loved each other and it’s like. so sad when one half of an old couple dies#like. she pulled him out of his depression after his 1st wife died. now who’s gonna be there to pull Her out…#anyways let’s not get all sad about that again. in happier news my cat who i presumed died/got killed has returned home uninjured!!!#after that huge stray dog chased her into the woods i thought we’d never find or see her again#but then the morning after i started grieving her she showed back up hungry as hell yet completely unharmed like the enigma that she is#so that’s one definite highlight from earlier this month. uhh what else. rapid fire summary of the past few weeks let’s go-#Jersey turned 10! Bullet turned 10! my 6 year Veganniversary happened! i’m approaching 700 days on DuoLingo!#i’ve written more than 20 thousand words! i’ve been facing some fears! fighting my OCD! taking care of myself! (kinda!)#anyways things are far from being all sunshine and roses around here but i’m trying to focus on the good stuff for the most part#for now tho i have a headache and have reached 30 tags so it’s time to go shovel some mashed potatoes into my mouth :)
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#periodical life updates#(<- NUMBER 3!!!) I FINISHED THE ANIMATION AND EVERYTHING FOR THAT PROJECT AND SENT IT OFF! super excited!!#it looks really cute! i tried my best and im mostly satisfied of where i landed <33#it's my little sibling's birthday today!! it's also the first official meeting of lgbt club!! (the other event was a fun lgbt mixer)#my backpack smells bad. like mildew or mold maybe? urgh its awful and gives me a headache. i might need a new one. i dont know. urghhh.#my programming homework is due today!! yike!! but other than that my personal projects with deadlines are all done!#INIQUITY NOW THAT YOU HAVE TIME ARE YOU FINALLY GONNA WORK ON YOUR SELF SHIP BLOG?? YES!! HOPEFULLY!!#truthfully i /have/ been working on it on the side. it looks decent but the colors;;; i have always been pretty sht at color picking?#i can adjust with filters but without that im like. a little not good yet lmao. gotta do some studies sometime perhaps#BUT YAY EXCITED!! ive got some rambles and doodles and a tag system and f/o info which is extremely cumbersome (affectionate)!!#also i have new fandom ocs for the latest dimension 20 campaign and im so delighted heho <33 this campaign is literally so fun.#im watching it with my sibling when its done!! OOH ALSO I FIGURED OUT HOW TO PNGTUBE AND i will likely never use it BUT COOL!!#i dont like. talk. lmao. my art streams are 1) silent 2) rare 3) only shared with my siblings. pngtuber is a little useless. but CUTE!!#i got boba tea yesterday!! sandy bought it :3 <3 and we're having pho and cheesecake later and i might plan out a little excursion today?#like i might get a treatsie. OR i'll just sit on campus as usual and get a mango smoothie and draw for a while (or work on homework.)#(lets be honest its likely the former. i might get a little back into traditional? ooh or maybe i'll practice my asl?) HEY THOUGH.#ive been thinking about making a henrey stickmn (ask)blog to practice asl? like. no plot. just henry teaching ellie and charles asl#really funny considering my Real concept of an askblog for THSC. not ace or eca; but a secret third thing (⛎) ;)#then again since when have i EVER followed through on an askblog lmao?? damb im all over the place today. we're already hitting tag limit#okay!! 3 AM!! if im going early tomorrow i gotta eep! goodnight everyone i love you!! see you tomorrow if i have the energy and time!!
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Song of the Day: March 19
"Let Me Drown" by Orville Peck
#song of the day#oh talk about a big-voice song! I can't quite do it justice but it is damn good to sing#did work on a bunch of not-work things today even though I have a big tricky project I have to give an official update on for Friday#but it's so much more fun to plan my garden and talk to Duncan about setting up a paludarium for the bullfrog he wants to keep#I'm going to have to tell my boss that I /can/ do what she wants but I don't think it'll help with any of the things she wants it for#and aaaahhhh she's not gonna like that. she's not gonna like that at all. I don't want to have that conversation#anyway I'm gonna plant my peas on Thursday! spring coming to save my life#going to the pet store hopefully this weekend to get a filter system so the water in Duncan's tank can start cycling#gonna trim down my spiderwort and see if I can't get some of the cuts to root by the time the tank's ready for live plants#plans! projects! I made palak paneer for dinner tonight and it was good. someday soon I'll sleep! and then Friday I will talk to my boss!#because if I don't do my job then I won't have any money and then I won't be able to afford plants and frog rocks and then we all cry
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i literally cannot stop watching hoarders
#and my 600lb life those shows are so addicting to watch#bf is buying a vpn tonight you guys!! im finally gonna update my game ahhhh!!#and i drank caffeine at an obscenely ridiculous time of night which means i will be watching reality tv and playing ts4 alllllll night ✨#i have TWO MORE ROOMS TO DECORATE IN THE STRAUD HOUSE IM SO CLOSE TO FINISHING THIS BEAST OF A BUILD#im back home btw heyyyyyy#our apartment is only four minutes away from our house which is good. still inconvenient to do laundry there though#hopefully we will get help moving our washing and drying units this weekend :’(#ok bye ily#my wrist hurts owwwwwww#ok bye for real this time ily
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✨️ The long awaited return...! ✨️
*rises from the ashes like a phoenix with a body clock innately attuned to deltarune and deltarune only* hello. I live! ...anyway. 1 week till DR CH2 anniversary how y'all doing?
#it has been a WHILE holy shit have I missed you all#I give you a recent electra sketch as an offering. a little treat. a morsel.#she looks extra girl boss here omg yes girl slay. live rent free in my mind (apparently forever???? because I Cannot Get You Out--)#right! let's do like a quick life update since it isn't really a capri post without paragraphs of tags lmao#short version: I'm doing pretty good despite my country economically falling apart! yay!#I had a bit of a hiccup a few months ago though bc my iron deficiency anemia got so bad I couldn't walk--#from my bedroom to the lounge w/out getting super breathless and ill and. it was bad.#I was worried I was gonna end up having a heart attack it was terrifying. Waiting to recover was anxiety inducing :(#but! I'm doing a lot better now and can go on walks again and it makes me so so happy holy shit#still like... got some unexplainable chronic pain issues that have not been solved. so not perfect. but good enough for now.#apart from that I have some exciting things going on that I'm waiting for confirmation on. will elaborate another time.#I really missed this lovely community 🥺💜 I have SO much art and writings to catch up on!!! I'll be a reblogging machine honestly sdfgjkl#you are all kind and wonderful and so creative and...! just. I'm vv excited to celebrate DR and UT anniversaries with you all 💕💕💕#fingers crossed I might have some time to create celebratory art! let's wait and see 🤞#deltarune oc#electra
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Have you completely abandoned writing?
what happened to... hello? how are you? my name is?
#kidding lmao it's all good#it's cool that people are still interested in my works! I appreciate it very much#but I'm in a very different place in my life and I don't feel as compelled to create fanworks as I once did#sometimes I do feel guilty about leaving series unfinished or abandoning works but#at the end of the day I am a human being#with a very fickle attention span 🤠#I do still want to finish the series (serieses?) I started but at this point it would be for my own creative fulfillment#and not due to having an audience or feeling like it's been 'too long' since updates#if people still find joy from my writing I think that's awesome#I myself have sort of moved on though#cheers!#lari speaks#anon
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hello o7
#chaos.txt#aughhh im so tired. not enough spoons to do private life updates so im just... sending it out to everyone#uhmmm im doing good! have not made as much progress on my neocities as i wanted :/ studying is going well though#still quite stressed but less so because i have Been studying#working on a few new carrds + paintings#would like to do some digital art studies .. clouds and landscapes they are calling me ..#what else. i went to go watch astv again! it felt revolutionary in a different way the second time#but i cannot economically justify going again! excited to have it on streaming because i would LOVE to do some scene redraws#listening to worlds beyond number + very much obsessed. been also squinting at a few commentary ytbers cuz some of the stuff they say is..#not. great. i don't fully like em. hm. also been organising my files etc etc. made a cute notion that im not using! as expected#thinking about writing some fic tbh . had some epic watcher ideas a while ago that i would like to explore#im going to ... schedule this. for tomorrow. not in the headspace to . speak . to people. aa. its fine#i miss u guys. i think. i am so anxious and stressed all the time !! aagh. so dramatic. so dramatic chaos. what a mess. goodbye lads#see uuu all . in maybe 10 days .nods. maybe another life update in 10 days. because my exam is in 20#this exam is so so so important guys. idk. why it feels more important than everything else ive done for the application process but it doe#and it. stresses .me .out. ok gbye forreal now
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just shot my shot and was shot down
#this is only worded like this cause i love how much times i get to say shot#i don’t actually feel like i’ve been ‘‘shot down’’#we are still good friends. romantic and platonic means hardly anything to me i am just a big cushion full of confusion#and i told her that it was okay no matter what and that i just like her a lot and that includes liking her as a friend more than anything#and she said that she likes me so much as a friend. and i’m happy with that i’m just embarrassed. but it’s alright#and we still hungout for a while. so everything is okay i just feel embarrassed#anyways. i hope everyone is doing well. weird life update from me. just feeling a little bit weird#cause one of my friends was telling me that i shouldn’t tell her cause one of their relationships was totally ruined by ‘‘confessing’’#like they were really close friends with someone and then told her that they liked her and then they became freaking archenemies basically#so i was scared. and now i feel weird because we’re just being normal. and everything is good but i feel a little ill#she was the best rejector in the entire world though. ‘‘i like you so much as a friend’’ that is awesome that is exactly what i want to hear#i just feel a little bit weird. plus my band is breaking up. and we’re selling my house. so maybe just a lot of weird stuff going on#but anyway yeah. i hope you all are well!! i’m gonna have dinner and then sleep for a long time#let me know if you need anything as always#me. my post. mine.#delete later#friends only#ask to tag
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every day i'm tempted to go back to Metal Flowers (my knives!Hanakaki kanej fic) and edit the like two lines where the cure condition is described as feelings being reciprocated, into the cure condition being feelings confessed, and change nothing else
#the only reason i havent done it yet i guess is that it feels weird to make what's technically a big plot change on something published?#but like. it would truly be just two lines changed#and its SO much funnier to have kaz coughing up blood in the attic pissed at his own impending dead#and refusing to even acknowledge the one (1) thing he needs to do to safe his own life because it means recognizing his own emotions#like even in that published draft it was never 'gosh im mad i'm gonna die because she'd never love me'#it was 'i cant believe im dying for such a stupid reason and letting inej down and i havent even killed pekka yet'#like truly nothing really changes in this updated concept except kaz's emotional constipation is what almost kills him#AND the flowers arent 'inej loves him back so he's saved' but#'inej has enough emotional intelligence to realize what he was accidentally saying even though HE doesn't even'#im so funny y'all sometimes my brain does a good and this fic was one of them
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errand day success! groceries acquired and laundry washed and waiting for dryer time.
#charlie babbles#love errand day even when it's exhausting because feel accomplished#got friend time and updates on her life and got to be silly with her kids#and now have tasty treats and clean laundry! always so good to have#so excited for eventual plumbing fix though so I don't have to do the laundromat thing anymore bleh
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#reading kim kitsuragi fics about his seolite heritage and. crying. (/positive)#wahhhh. wahhhhh. hes just like me for real.#anyway have been reading a bunch of#disco elly#fics recently and having a good time!! i need to write one immediately hffhh also i ADORE THE SKILLS!! SO MUCH!!#you may think my favorite character is kim. its true. BUT ALSO ITS ACTUALLY THE SKILLS. theyre funny silly :3#i loveee the skills so much and i need to play more of the game and memorize what each of them do so i can write them accurately#also people who rp as the skills on tumblr YOU ARE SO FUNNY AND I LOVE YOU. they are so interesting <33#i love them talking to each other!! i wish i could be a part of that but i think everyone is taken though. alas!#update: nevermind i solved it. i figured it out.#anyway topic at hand. kim brings me such joy. and as a seasian its;;; very poignant sometimes. important to me#born in america. but the asian heritage and all that comes with it stays. people will still assume. make comments.#asian american; a reconciliation with the self :'> stories where kim can have or navigate that are cathartic.#periodical life updates#I GUESS LMAO?#my favorite color is queue
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