#thoughts about stuff

[not-poignant]

I've been catching up on writing Underline the Gold (Anton / Flitmouse), which is featuring pretty hardcore eating disorder recovery, and it's been pretty confrontational.

But it's also good to be writing Flitmouse again, not least because he's such an angry omega, and he's so cynical and jaded with everything, and also he's in this picturesque location and he hates the beach so much. Just...so much.

[alleesaur]

doodling a bunny vs doodling a hare

[yeepof]

I understand that tall men are our POV characters, but surely being like a foot taller than everyone around them would have some occasional consequences

[tonispencerart]

So... A lot has happened!

I'm not even joking, And a lot of it has happened in a really short space of time. Sometimes this is a good thing. At the moment, though, I'm just tired. This week week I started my community art classes. To be honest, I feel like l might have made a mistake with the timing; it's the Easter holidays and lots of people tend to go away for the holidays. It was quiet (due to the aforementioned holidays) and I expected that, but it was a nice chill kind of evening for the first one. Two people turned up but we all had fun playing with ink and drawing with materials you wouldn't normally draw with. It was a little messy but nothing too crazy - which was nice because clean-up was chaotic! I have ADHD (I've mentioned that before. ;) ) so I didn't have much of a strategy when it came to tidying, cleaning, and packing things away. I tried to do multiple things at once... and there were a few moments when I found myself standing in the middle of the room with a random object in my hands and no clue what to do next! This week I have plans to play music during the class and have folk listen and interpret the music with shape and colour... after a spot of colour theory, that is! I'm also hoping a few more people turn up, too. I still expect it to be a little quiet - because it's still the Easter holidays - so I'm keeping everything crossed that things pick up soon. And then on Thursday I performed at the Burlesque student showcase. The theme for this one was called Decades of Decadence - a quick snapshot, if you will, of the history of Burlesque through the decades. My act was based on the 1980s - purely for the music. I chose Kate Bush - 'Babooshka' for my song, and I tied it to the story of Die Fledermaus (The Flitter-mouse, or The Bat) - an operetta by Johann Straus II. The narrative of both Babooshka and Die Fledermaus are quite similar, really. It was an idea I had for last Halloween's show, but at the time I thought it was too niche for my audience. My dance teacher - and my fellow burlesque babes - convinced me to have more conviction and belief in my ideas so I went for it. And it was the best decision ever because this is my new favourite act, and I hope to be bringing it back soon... More on that another time when I have more info, etc. I decided to stay in the city at a nearby hotel for the night. Because I don't live in the city centre (or anywhere that close to it), I've previously left shows carrying a whole heap of stuff, racing it to the train station to try and catch the last train 'home' (and it doesn't even stop at my local station). To get out of the station there's a load of steps off the platform and then a load of steps down to the street... It's usually way past midnight, in the dark (and often cold/wet), and I'm further away from my house. I basically decided I've done that enough times already and it sucks, not to mention I've almost tumbled down those steps too many times for my liking, so I booked a room in a hotel. It turned out to be the best decision because it's a) easier, and b) the bed was huge and very cosy... Until I was rudely awoken at around 4AM with horrible cramps in my legs. That'll teach me to stretch properly after a performance! And I had a most delicious breakfast! I'm definitely doing that again! It's also kind of nice to make a proper 'thing' out of a performance/show day. Makes it extra special, you know? Today, I am 'noodling' in my sketchbooks and planning for the class on Wednesday. I've had two naps today - unplanned, but I obviously needed to sleep a bit more. I'm hoping to be back to my normal self tomorrow. It's been a busy week - but the good kind of busy. I'm sure once things settle and become more of a routine, it'll be less tiring. Here are some photos of some of the wonderful art that was made during the first class.

[littlemut]

[goldensunset]

did you know? if you do your laundry you can get your clothes back

[nothingbizzare]

You have a good heart

[inkskinned]

i hate to say it because i'm neurodivergent and a chronic-pain-haver but like... sometimes stuff is going to be hard and that's okay.

it's okay if you don't understand something the first few times it's explained to you. it's okay if you have to google every word in a sentence. it's okay if you need to spend a few hours learning the context behind a complicated situation. it's okay if you need to read something, think about it, and then come back to re-read it.

i get it. giving up is easier, and we are all broken down and also broke as hell. nobody has the time, nobody has the fucking energy. that is how they win, though. that is why you feel this way. it is so much easier, and that is why you must resist the impetus to shut down. fight through the desire you've been taught to "tl;dr".

embrace when a book is confusing for you. accept not all media will be transparent and glittery and in the genre you love. question why you need everything to be lily-white and soft. i get it. i also sometimes choose the escapism, the fantasy-romance. there's no shame in that. but every day i still try to make myself think about something, to actually process and challenge myself. it is hard, often, because of my neurodivergence. but i fight that urge, because i think it's fucking important.

especially right now. the more they convince you not to think, the easier it will be to feed you misinformation. the more we accept a message without criticism, the more power they will have over that message. the more you choose convenience, the more they will make propaganda convenient to you.

[heavymetallluver]

[chloesimaginationthings]

William Afton winning that “idgaf” award in FNAF

[umblrspectrum]

3 years of this godforsaken show

[hmura-hmara]

Something about Luke being the spitting image of his father

[tonispencerart]

Two weeks to go! This time in just two weeks I'll be packing up and heading home from my first time teaching a community art class.

I'm excited, yes. But I'm also still in a sort of state of panic. I'm in full Planning Mode, too. I even bought the prettiest and most colourful note book for all of my plans for each class. I'm hoping this makes me calmer as the days pass and the classes begin.

Why am I doing it? I have to keep reminding myself why I wanted to teach art in the community. It's because I truly believe that art is for everyone. Everyone. Learning anything creative has been proven over and over again to be good for people - good for their minds, their souls, and their general health and well-being. And because it's fun.

Because I am firmly of the opinion that fun is good for people, too. Fun isn't just for children and pets, it's for everyone. Things are allowed to just be fun.

You are allowed to have fun.

[lopsaii]

Ongoing stepladder debate

[hinamie]

i'm exactly as normal about him as I thought I'd be

[ciderjacks]

dad issues

+

(I think they were all fundamentally affected by what they saw and just collectively decided not to share the upsetting details)