#thus why she said tht

[quinntamsin]

Kalevala lay in ruins, the Banners of House Kryze and the memories of Satine were erased. Standing there, her body heavy with exhaustion and expended rage, Qwynn removed her helmet. The free air struck her as the harsh brine of the sea filted into the wind.

"Where is Lady Bo-Katan?" she asked.

"We are unsure, " said one of her guards, the black and silver of her armor relaying their direct allegiance. Only the closest vassals could claim direct membership to wear the Clan's colors.

"By the greenglass of Sundari's ruins," Qwynn growled, "We will find our Manda'lor!"

---

The Mandalorian S3E4 | Chapter 20 - The Foundling

*Sighs as her HUD connects to the holonet* We open Chapter 19 with the Creed be reciting by a foundling. With the memries of the Mythosaur and the acceptance of the Scion of a Fallen House.

The massive rugged planet the folk of the Tribe have built is filled with dozens of training warriors. Why do the warriors train so hard, when they aren't building their clans nor are they preparing for war. This makes me wonder if the Tribe has become a sort of ascetic last vestige. As everyone fights Grogu pulls up a little crustacean with a rock.

He then sets down the baby in front of a fucking tween. And the kid decides he's going to get a lesson from Baby Yoda. yup, as the training darts are taken, the small little blaster and Bo decides she's now mom. I like that they aren't judging him for his species, but his size. The bigger kid nails the kid twice in the chest, and decides its time for the force.

Heh.

is this the future of the Mandalorians, a multispecies people. Like they are in the legends.

A massive pterosaur like thing pops out from a cliff and snags the foundling. The older Mando'ade give chase and we get this seriously awesome chase scene. The jumpacks have limited range, and thus they have likely lost many kids to that thing. The Vizla even says "It always gets away."

Luckily, Bo's warship can easily keep pace with the monster so she definitely is changing things up for the tribe. Paz Vizla seems likely he's not really grown up or experienced the Homeworld. I say this because we see that even he heistates on the height of the mountains. Bo counters that she trained in such things, so I think this is another good example of differing backgrounds.

Our Armorer takes Grogu into the forge and shows him as she pours a new ingot of beskar. She explains the cult's viewpoint that through adversity they improve. As the metal she works for a ship pounds we see Grogu frown and scared. He is remembering the attack of the Temple. The clones coming in to execute order 66. Knights and Guardians fall around him as we are pulled further into this PTSD flaskback.

He exits the lift and a jedi greets him and defends against several troopers. As more blaster fire flies our guard jumps on a swoopbike to flee. As we watched the enemy hawk creature fleet and is chased by the Mando'ade the Jedi flies through the canyons of Coruscant's skyways. It seems that season 3 is going to focus a lot of Dichotomy.

We see Pershing and Elia, and now we are learning more and more about Grogu as a person. His fears, and how he has dealt with the trauma of the fall of the Jedi Order. Hell we even get the Jedi swiping pass tht one mountain that Pershing touched in Chapter 18.

"Hold on it's going to be a bumpy landing."

The Jedi hits a floating starport hard, just as he passes a Naboo cruiser. The silvery exterior screams Nabo, and the brave Soldiers defend him further as the Empire's fist approaches. The pounding the harm snaps little Grogu back from the flashback as it's just the Armorer working the metal. He smalls after frowning, has he found a sense of easy.

Turns out that Grogu was getting a present, and he get's a round chest piece with the Mudhorn clan embelm. Fuck that was a great little subplot.

Now, back to Bo and her determination to save the foundling. Momm Bo is ready, she leads her strike-team like any longtime leader. A quick glance at the part reeals another woman with similar armor design and markings. Perhaps a former Nite Owl? The massive mesas and karst that make up this plant definitely portrays something akin to the wild west. Paz being our resident Vizla is here to be a challenger.

"You are the leader of the war-party."

She is left alone as they all recede into the darkness and we see her face clear of the helmet. Her face is riddled with indecision and disquiet. And yes, I like disquiet as a word, so sue me.

They smother their fire and Bo gives out the attack plan. Scaling the cliffface they use their grapples and their own strength to do the rest. I can see how the covert has trained these Mandalorians, but they haven't had Bo's conditioning. She is definitely higher up in the challenge. Well, there is also Din and Paz who are holding both her flanks.

They find the nest and slowly veer off in an inverse v-formation. Paz is the first it seems to reach the top, he is struggling, his heavy gun and armor likely holding himdown. Wht we see is a massive nest filled with Mandalorian helmets. And even more so stolen beskar. Paz rushes in to save the kid who turns out to be his son, as he calls out Ragnar's name the heat signature proves to be hatchlings.

Paz watches in horror as his son is coughed up by our annoying raptor. He saves his kid by literally flying into the creatures mout and wedging it open with his chest piece. The Mando'ade give chase and Paz falls, this leaves the other members of the war-party to take out the beast. So quick words on this thing.

These monsters are not stupid enough I think to understand that the Mando'ade are harmful targets, and ye he keeps eating them. So if you feel bad for the monster and its babys, remember it's been eating Mando kids for a while now. Enough that there were more than one or two helmets there.

They return, the creature dead, and Ragnar in two with his father. Clan Vizla has a new scion and Grogu watches as they all greet the party home. She brings in the hatclings which fits. The Mandlorians use to be beasttamers, and it's good to see the covert accepting her. She gets a new pauldron and she asks for it to be marked by the Mythosaur.

Yes, she will be Mand'alor, and she will revive the Clans! I love that the Armorer greets her and then seemingly tells her that the Mythosaur we all saw was in her head, or was a religious vision.

OKAY!

Gay Canon

Seriously, I am now shipping the Armorer as opposing forces. Yeah, so fucking sue me!

Or maybe Bo, Ahsoka and Barris.

Hottake:

Grogu trying to eat another poor animal reminds us that Grogu is a predator species. Remember those eggs?

Bo got a great arc this story, I like how we are getting more and more hints of how she's likely a form of cultural folk hero.

Paz Vizla being nice to both Din after saving his kid and his respect.

Holy fuck Grogu's escape was definitely a high octane thrill-ride of a nightmare. That kid has some serious PTSD. I am so happy he got a chest piece.

Glad to see that the Mandlorian's are accepting of multi-species Clans.

The Armorer said, "your House", makes me think that there are still elements of House Kryze out there.

Where is Clan Wren though, where IS Sabine?

Ths Mythosaur is going to be a big deal in the finale isn't it.

[paigemathews]

We finished episode seven (Out of Scythe) and thoughts:

my sister and I both think that Mel is fucking stupid. The fact that she doesn't want to be healed to "connect with her mother" is dumb AF and almost all of her decisions are dumb. Just. ugh.

I don't like Maggie that much, because a) I don't like her actress that much b) her sorority plotline bugs me (mostly bc I was really hoping that a show about sisterhood would do something more with the idea of Greek sisterhood instead of the cliche vapid party girl thing they're doing) and c) everything about her kissing Parker and what happened with her and Lucy afterwards (Kappa Spirit didn't fully fix it for me, especially bc I feel like this show has a really weird approach to cheating that I do not like.) My sister, however, actually does like her and I can acknowledge that I'm just biased against her.

We both like Macy. I find her storylines more interesting than the other two, and she doesn't make nearly as many outright stupid choices as the other two do. Despite the emphasis on her being logical and rational, however, I also feel like she's significantly more moral than her sisters, which is a good thing bc I personally feel like the other two aren't very likable.

I'm mostly familiar with Aleyse Shannon from Leverage: Redemption, but I did know tht she was in this first! I have no idea what her deal is, but she's very pretty and I like electrokinesis so I'm on board with this thus far.

I really hope that they're going to have a good reason for why the fuck Marisol didn't ever tell the girls that they were witches. Like the original had a reason, and I imagine that this one will as well, but between the Charmed Ones destiny and the potential that the sisters would've been responsible for their piece of the scythe as a sentinel... Idk, I know that's probably gonna be something revealed later but I am Impatient and also already think everyone in this show is kinda an idiot so.

Mel dropping out feels weird. She was so invested in the WGS department and nothing really built up to her only doing it for her mom, y'know? Especially bc she was a fucking grad student, that's not exactly easy. Also they definitely could've done more with it, man. I'd have to loved to see her show some softer/kinder edges with mentoring or helping undergrad students in her TA job.

Parker is so not Cole Turner, man. I don't even like Cole, but Parker gives off significantly more... what the fuck was that meme called, pathetic catboy vibes? I am so hardcore blanking on the actual phrase, fuck, but like y'all know what I'm talking about, right? Idk. That said, I'm not necessarily gonna be against him. Yet. He didn't kill anyone, which goes a lot farther for a redemption arc but also he doesn't really seem willing so ehhh. Idk, we'll see, I haven't made up my mind yet.

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

If you're still doing the character opinion bingo - Eowyn?

I am *always* doing Character Opinion Bingo

Previously asked: Elrond, Gimli

Ok so.

I love Eowyn, obviously. I have eyes and a brain. Of course I love Eowyn.

However. My opinions on her story arc would be received by most of fandom as akin to hitting a wasps nest with a baseball bat due to:

a) my general dislike of Faramir. Guy can go suck an egg.

a pt II) my general dislike of fandom's tendency to jack off about how UWU Faramir is when he's just a bit of a wet blanket and a tit

b) my view that her ending is sad and sucks and she deserves better because

c) you can have healing and all that nice shit and still be a warrior and ride into battle and bop around on horseback annoying the living shit out of your brother who is now king by giving him 500 aneurisms

This is also why I only half-crossed out "I'm obsessed with their character arc" because I like it but also I'm mad about it because I wanted so much more for her and her ending. She becomes a fucking housewife in Gondor. This is Eowyn "so you're saying my role is in the house while men get glory then I can burn in it once the men don't need it anymore" daughter of Eomund, Shield-maiden of Rohan, child of the House of Eorl. She's not here for your cottagecore fantasies with wetblanket Faramir. (this includes you, too, tolkien)

--

A fandom thing that bugs me is that in the Eowyn tag I'm inevitably dumped into the part of fandom that has internalized western approach to information preservation and share Tolkien's belief that the Rohirrim, due to being an oral based culture, are somehow inferior to Gondor who are a writing based culture. I don't think they're conscious of this fact, but it's there and I dislike it. There's this occasional infantilization of Eowyn where people are like "oh it's so sweet Faramir will teach her how to read and write and all the nice CiViLiZeD things of Gondor and she'll idk I guess teach him something of her people's culture but only so they can write it down" and alksdjhgakghdkjlgdfgj

both are equal! both are equal!

also maybe rohan doesn't want to write down their stories! maybe they have reasons for that!

--

ok also, love that bit when Eowyn tells Aragorn "bitch if you say the word 'duty' to me I will not be held responsible for my actions".

'You are a stern lord and resolute,' she said; 'and thus do men win renown.' She paused. 'Lord,' she said, 'if you must go, then let me ride in your following. For I am weary of skulking in the hills, and wish to face peril and battle.'

'Your duty is with your people,' he [Aragorn] answered.

'Too often have I heard of duty,' she cried. 'But am I not of the House of Eorl, a shieldmaiden and not a dry-nurse? I have waited on faltering feet long enough. Since they falter no longer, it seems, may I not now spend my life as I will?'

'Few may do tht with honour,' he answered. 'But as for you, lady: did you not accept the charge to govern the people until their lord's return? If you had not been chosen, then some marshal or captain would have been set in the same place, and he could not ride away from his charge, were he weary of it or no.'

'Shall I always be chosen?' she said bitterly. 'Shall I always be left behind when the Riders depart, to mind the house while they win renown, and find food and beds when they return?'

'A time may come soon,' said he, 'when none will return. Then there will be need of valour without renown, for none shall remember the deeds that are done in the last defense of your homes. Yet the deeds will not be less valiant because they are unpraised.'

And she answered: 'All your words are but to say: you are a woman, and your part is in the house. But when the men have died in battle and honour, you have leave to be burned in the house, for the men will need it no more. But I am of the House of Eorl and not a serving-woman. I can ride and wield blade, and I do not fear either pain or death.'

'What do you fear, lady?' he asked.

'A cage,' she said. 'To stay behind bars, until use and old age accept them, and all chance of doing great deeds is gone beyond recall or desire.'

then they talk about the paths of the dead. There's no bit where he’s like “I don’t see a cage in your future” like in the move. 

And aside from Aragorn's valid point of "you took this charge on you to rule Edoras in your uncle's sted you can't, exactly, just uh...abandon that" - I just love their entire exchange in this scene. It's so much more complicated and nuanced than what the movies show and also far more true to the world Tolkien was creating.

It also continues to highlight how Grima and Eowyn are foils for each other - aside from the subversion of gender norms (Eowyn is obvious in this, Grima's subversion is more subtle in the book), they both have strong desires and a sense of what they are owed and they go about getting it in ways that run contrary to their culture: oathbreaking.

Grima oathbroke when he took up with Saruman, obviously. Eowyn oathbroke when she left her post as Edoras' ruler and guardian - which she swore to the king she would maintain. They both did it to gain things they wanted. Eowyn just, you know, has morals and a spine. Grima has neither.

--

I just. Love Eowyn. And want more for her than was given in the books, or even in fandom.

I also love Dernhelm and wish we saw hell of a lot more of him. More screen and page time for Eowyn-Dernhelm and Dernhelm-Eowyn! We deserve it!

[figureinthedistance]

i had 2 get a tattoo touched up fr the first time ever a tattoo i got 20 days ago n it was the most painful tattoo experience ive had n i have tattoos on my hips ribcage n collarbones (n this is jst a tattoo on my inner forearm so fatty). its bc apparently my skin isnt finished healing after 20 days which is weird bc they told me if i needed it toucjed up 2 come back in 20 days + i think there was a not much longer limit in terms of how long i cld wait before it wld stop being free but @ the end of this one my artist said if i needed another touch up 2 wait 30 days this time so idk whats up w that. the other reason it was painful was bc they used a bigger needle bc it wld cover more ground but rip the skin less + it was cool bc it made me bleed waaaaay more even now the cling film is flooded w blood which hasnt happened before. . i needed it touched up bc it has a big block of black ink on it + i knew going in fr the initial tattoo tht big areas of black often need to be retouched bc its hard fr the artist 2 do all of it in one go + i had like wo thinking invented an explanation fr that in my head which is unfortunately how minds work sometimes but i was wrong my artist told me this evening why its hard 2 do large areas of black which is tht when skin is getting tattooed it becomes swollen + thus u arent seeing the areas immediately around where u applied the needle bc its swelled up so u cant tell if theyre also inked or not. thats so interesting everything in the world is so interesting

also she was the only artist in the studio so she got 2 choose the music n it was this rlly middle of the road late 20th century american soft rock + i commented on it + she said it was the supernatural soundtrack + she played it bc one day she wanted someone like one of the supernatural guys to come in so they cld fall in love. shes so adorable

[yumenosakiacademy]

ru kept forcing gothy 2 do an impression of a chara she said she'd Planned on doing in the past but isnt doing anymore (thus likely doesnt care or lost the vision 4 it, as her season was Yrs ago n she didnt even get close 2 snatch game then) n gothy is doing poorly at it (bc shes not doing tht guy anymore, so clearly there was reason why she didnt go w her s1 choice. bc she wasnt good at it) n is rly uncomfortable n upon Not Doing Well, ru's like "see thts how its gonna b in this snatch game :/" bro shut the fuck up shes doing a diff chara tht she has more confidence in n will Actually b doing; how abt u lay off her fucking ass w the ozzy shit n ask her abt her CURRENT chara tht she WILL b doing, hm? instead of trying 2 tell her 2 "give it her all" over smth tht ultimately doesnt show what shes capable of bc it was a scrapped idea? fuck off.

[alittlebitofrainbyyourside]

...

Having thoughts about the fact that when I got out of the psyche ward, I tried to visit a friend I made while in there. and they were so confused as how I got through the first layer of security because Guess What You're Not Allowed To Do That! When you go to a psych hospital, they do not let you come back. they do not want you to make friends or form connections. but I was already in the system as a guest- thus me being able to get through the first layer of security. and I remember how confused they looked. how distrustful and I just shrugged and was like 'my dad was in here last Christmas. That's all. We happened to get sent to the same psych hospital.' and I'm thinking about the fact that my dad was a model patient, and I wasn't. I was well behaved, sure, but they kept trying to make me snap. I remember telling them that I was afraid of a specific patient, and they moved my room next to him the next day.

anyway, not the point. point being. Having a lot of thoughts about father and daughter in the psych ward- not even a year apart. About how the doctors told my mom that if she was going to leave him, to leave while he was in the hospital so that he'd have support. How she left him three months later after he tried to kill us. And I have to own that, he tried to kill us. He wanted to set that entire house on fire. How I came back home. How unraveled he was. You see, my dad tried to kill himself that year. That's why he was in the psych hospital. You see, he tried to kill himself. The previous Christmas he spent in the hospital with multiple organ failure. and he would go into a coma. and he would be in and out of the hospital that entire year. and he kept drinking anyway. and we kept fighting. And I moved out. I locked myself in my room to get away from him and then I moved out and as I was settling into where I would stay next- my mother was calling 911 because my father swallowed the medicine cabinet, he swallowed all the pills, he tied zipties around his neck. He went to say goodbye to me and I wasn't there, so he swallowed the medicine cabinet. And he locked the door to his bedroom. And my mother had to break it down, and my mother had to cut his neck to get the zipties off and she had to administer CPR until the EMTs arrived. How they let him stay, how they didn't take him in. My mother took him to the hospital the next day.

I didn't move back in until my mother moved out, couldn't let him be home alone with all his monsters. How she moved out because he tried to kill us. How he threw a propane tank. How he tied a noose and left it on the back porch. and so I moved back in. Until I couldn't be moved back in. I moved back in until he took a swing at me. How I haunted two addresses, working a full time job and running a survivor resource. Staying busy. always so busy. How I broke a key in a filing cabinet and my manager took me home, made me pack my things, and move in with her because I couldn't stop shaking. How my boss wanted to know why I was so sad and twitchy and I explained I had CPTSD and she wanted a paper with a diagnosis on it. and I wasn't getting help, so I couldn't- so I had to call the last psych hospital I'd been in. How I swallowed the medicine cabinet in the console of my car the way my father swallowed the medicine cabinet at home. How I walked back into work and told my manager I needed to go home, how she had me write notes for a meeting first- how I'm not sure how legible they were. My dad picked me up. I told him I'd swallowed a medicine cabinet and he took me home. We went and got my car the next day, I was still too fucked up to drive, took the mirror off the side and how we're so lucky that's the worst tht happened. and how just like him, too long from the incident to get your stomach pumped I was taken to the hospital. having a lot of feelings about a family that said 'I will pull you from the brink of death, but I don't know how to hold your hand in the aftermath' again and again and again and again. I don't know. generational trauma or something

[narwhalwrath]

Let's talk about the KHUX finale as a whole rather than just as the piece we only just got.

So we started off with with Lauriam and Ventus alone in Ventus' room, and Lauriam is conflicted about Ventus because they have no way of knowing whether or not Ventus destroyed Darkness or whether it retreated back within Ventus (I mean we know that this Darkness is Vanitas but they don't), in which case Lauriam seems to contemplate taking out Ventus, only Strelitzia reminds Lauriam that giving into his negative emotions is exactly what Darkness wants - which obviously spooks the hell out of Lauriam and he turns around to find that she's not there. Having had time to think about this, I'd say that what I believe happened to Strelitzia after she was struck down by Darkness was that her Heart took refuge within Lauriam's, much in the same way Kairi's and Ventus's Hearts did with Sora's Heart in KH and KHBBS respectively. You might recall that Sora even saw Kairi at one point while he Heart was still within her Heart.

What does this mean though, well I believe that Strelitzia will return thanks to the Data Luxu pulled of her in Data-Daybreak Town, which is what he sent to the future via the Ark. Think of it as similar to how Roxas and Namine were brought back in KHIII, once Lauriam releases Strelitzia's Heart, it can join with the Data-Strelitzia, which is likely vacant, as the Data versions of the Dandelions were all occupied by their own Hearts presumably when they became Unchained and crossed into Data-Daybreak Town.

Moving on, Elrena is brought into the story to reveal that her Chirithy had seen Luxu and Strelitzia, which leaves hope for the others about Strelitzia, but doesn't do much more than confuse them otherwise and get her to join the party as they make for the Ark. Seriously, Elrena was completely underused in KHUX. I still think it's odd how Lauriam and Elrena act entirely different from Marluxia and Larxene, and I think it is even more odd how Nomura specified tht Lauriam and Marluxia are different characters rather than telling the interviewer who had asked the question what we are meant to believe: that Lauriam is Marluxia's Somebody.

To be clear, I don't think that he's not, simply that 4 years go by between when he, Elrena, Ventus, and Skuld woke up in the future and KHBBS and then nearly another 10 years (presumably) before Marluxia is found by Xigbar and Xaldin and Larxene is found by Xaldin and Lexaeus. We have no idea what happens then, and both had completely lost their memories, making it even more hard to say. However, Lauriam was shown waking in Dwarf Woodlands, while Elrena woke in what I assume to be Enchanted Dominion, both of which were some of the first Worlds to be swallowed by the Darkness when Maleficent began her pursuit of Kingdom Hearts at the end of KHBBS, so maybe that's how they fell to Darkness?

After Luxu sends the True Dandelion forward via the Ark, I noticed that, while Darkness explains its intention, it mentions that it plans to 'accompany the chosen one into the future to lay claim to Worlds not yet created'. This is odd, because later it explains that there are five Darknesses still in Data-Daybreak Town, and since only four of them confront Ephemer, Skuld, and Player, then that all but confirms Lauriam's suspicions. What's more, is that it engages Luxu in battle and then is missing when Brain, Lauriam, Elrena, and Ventus arrive in Daybreak Town to utilize the real Ark.

Where did Darkness go? Not within Ventus, as it would have had no opportunity to do so, and there's already an iteration of Darkness in there. Luxu is the only other candidate. It was revealed in the second part of the finale that the Master raised his apprentices in order to give the seven strongest iterations of Darkness a tangible form so that it could inevitably be struck down. This was the entire reason for the Keyblade War, and why the Foretellers had to be sacrificed. The conversation with Luxu all but confirms that those seven of the original Thirteen Darknesses were already destroyed, as they discuss how, after the Keyblade War, only the six Darkness we've now seen remained and found themselves within Data-Daybreak Town. The Master reveals this to be another part of his scheme, as Daybreak Town and its Data counterpart were constructed to act as a cage for Darkness that would be sprung as soon as the first pod of the Ark it utilized.

This trap is something Darkness knew after watching the Master compose the Book of Prophecies, the Master intentionally excluded Enchanted Dominion from the Worlds realized in the real world, instead trapping Maleficent within the Datascape much in the same way that he had done to Darkness. Darkness then helped Maleficent reach Daybreak Town via the virtual Ark in order to then have her use the real one, thereby triggering the ends of both iterations of Daybreak Town, which would motivate the Dandelions to use the Ark themselves, unknowingly providing Ventus to Darkness after another iteration utilized him to take the place of Strelitzia. While it would travel into the future to lay siege to Worlds not yet in existence, the other Darknesses in the Datascape would spread across the Data-Worlds. However, Darkness didn't concern itself with the parts of the Book of Prophecies which it considered unimportant to itself, which ultimately proved to be its undoing, because it missed out on the true plans of the Master, as Luxu later confirmed.

On the topic of Luxu, let's discuss his meeting with Brain, as well as his appearance in the Keyblade Graveyard. The most important part about these two parts is to know that, even though it appears as though Luxu possessed Brain, he didn't. Brain has just always resembled Luxu for whatever reason. I wonder if this could have something to do with iterations of the same person from two separate Worldlines? Why do I say this, because they made a point of noting the similarities between Skuld and Ava as well, on two separate occasions, and I would guess that with what we've seen in the finale, that it was intentional for this exact reason. Does this mean that all the Foretellers look like the Union leaders? I'd say no, I mean Ventus and Gula appear to bear physical similarities from what we can see (height give-or-take, jaw structure), but for sure Ephemer and Lauriam do not resemble Ira and Aced.

The two seen in the finale are clearly different because Luxu was stated in his Secret Reports of KHIII to have passed on No Name to on of the Union Leaders amid the chaos of the destruction of Data-Daybreak Town. The only one he came into contact with was Brain, so clearly Brain got No Name, thus its a done-deal, both are Brain, right? Wrong - as Brain then awakens generations later in Scala ad Caelum, not by using the Ark but by using Ephemer's memories passed down through the generations all the way to Sigurd, as his Waypoint, while his hat acted as the Medium. I believe that when Luxu claimed that Brain's life had to end, he merely passed on No Name to Brain and taught him how to unlock his Heart - or become Unchained, thereby allowing him to partake in said time travel and see through the destruction of Daybreak Town. I think what we see of "Brain" in the Keyblade Graveyard is like the scene from KHX:BC where Luxu arrives in the Keyblade Graveyard with No Name and the Box, just with his hood down, otherwise it wouldn't make sense for Luxu to have No Name, as he said he didn't have it anymore in the Secret Report.

I wonder if, given Master's Defender belonged to Brain originally and eventually makes its way to Eraqus - Brain's suspected grandson - if that means that Brain recclaims Master's Defender when he gets to Scala ad Caelum? I really felt for Ephemer toward the end because it became evident that when Ephemer and Skuld attempted to escape, Ephemer was caught in the destruction of Daybreak Town and left alone in the past. Although he created Scala ad Caelum from the ruins of Daybreak Town and began a new lineage of Keyblade wielders, it's sad that he died without the friends he had come to know throughout KHUX. I wonder also what Ephemer did with that last copy of the Book of Prophecies that Brain gave him - could it still be hidden somewhere in Scala ad Caelum?

In the end, Player had to fight Ephemer and Skuld in order to convince the 4 iterations of Darkness left in Data-Daybreak Town that he was on their side, as they did not seem to realize that their comrade had left with Ventus. This led to Ephemer sending Player and the Darknesses to Game Central Station, wherein Player trapped them and Data-Daybreak Town came crumbling down, just as the Master intended. This resulted in all the Dandelions falling into a deep Sleep, with their Chirithy's becoming the Dream Eaters we know today in order to protect them - only Player chooses not to Sleep and his Heart becomes a part of Xehanort's when he is born.

What's interesting to me about this is that we see Xehanort's mother, who looks sort of like Skuld, but I theorize is actually Brain's mother, which would thus make Xehanort the brother of Eraqus, but what I want to know is who that cloaked figure could be? Maybe it's Brain, who somehow knew about Player's Heart and took Xehanort away from Scala ad Caelum because Player's attack on Ephemer and Skuld (which I assume Ephemer would leave some note about for Brain, considering that Sigurd makes it sound as though they knew Ephemer was coming). I'm really not sure, but considering that Eraqus' grandfather isn't around anymore, that means he'd have had to have disappeared when Eraqus was young, and if it was because he was off with Xehanort, that could certainly explain it, but who knows.

Anyway I think that's everything I have to say about the finale (I hope it is at least lol) Let me know your thoughts below :) KHUXDR still has to finish later this year, so maybe these questions I have won't go unanswered for long.

[xcherry-popx]

if its not too weird to ask, could you write some posts abt rad + asd (either one or both/abt comorbidity)? cuz i wanna find more info abt them & i saw stuff saying asd/rad cmrbidity was impossible too & think i may have both. i have zero access to mental health help atm and will for a pretty long time so im just doing what i can as i wait, document my symptoms and stuff and try to cope, for now. (btw im saying this 2 clarify tht im not trying to be invasive or out of curiosty. sry its so long)

It's no problem! Honestly, I'm excited to hear about someone like me, with how uncommon it is. No need to worry about it being long, because my answer ended up long as well ^-^;;

I wrote this quicker than I expected, so please forgive any mistakes, and feel free to ask for clarification. 

I’m mostly going to use the term ‘RAD’ (reactive attachment disorder), but a lot of this information applies to DAD (disinhibited attachment disorder) as well. I was diagnosed when they were still grouped together as RAD.

If any information does not apply to both, I’ll specify the differences between them.

First off: there is no reason autism and RAD can’t be comorbid. Now, most psychologist insist that they cannot exist together, but this is outdated. Unfortunatly, because RAD is so uncommon, very little discussion occurs, and thus any progress in understanding the disorder takes a bit of time.

Fortunately, some discussion has begun. This study is one from 2017. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27895198/

As of now, it’s the only scholarly discussion, but hopefully that will change in time.

Essentially, autism is something you’re born with, while Reactive Attachment Disorder is the result of severe neglect or mistreatment.

The study found that several children diagnosed with RAD met the criteria for autism. The difference in children with autism and RAD vs children with only RAD can be distinguished by focusing on traits specific to autism.

That’s actually how I first suspected I had both: I looked through several diagnosis lists and checked whether I had symptoms exclusive to each list.

One of the current diagnostic criteria for RAD  and DAD is that the child cannot also be diagnosed with autism. This is because RAD, and later, DAD, were often used to explain ‘autistic-like behavior’ in children who either did not show signs of autism early on, or who experienced severe mistreatment.

The main reason this is outdated is because it relies on the belief that autistic individuals do not form attachments to caregivers, which many autistic people will tell you is false. That all relates back to the idea that because autistic people show affection differently, they do not feel it the way allistic people do, which is, again, false.

It’s often difficult to get an RAD diagnosis, much less one along with an autism diagnosis. However, it’s not impossible, although for me it involved two different diagnosises that my grandma and I realized made most sense together.

Under the cut, I’m going to talk more generally about RAD and DAD as well as about my experiences.

 You said you don't have much access to mental health help, but I felt I should include this next segment anyways. 

Attachment therapy, one of the most well-known treatments, is harmful. I would suggest avoiding it. It goes against attachment theory, the basis of RAD. I don’t say this to scare you, but it is coercive and has resulted in death in some cases. You can look into it yourself, but it is rather sickening for me, so please take care if you do so.

While most advice involves making sure the child has an emotionally available ‘attachment figure’, usually a caretaker, that assumes you would want someone to connect to that way.

As someone with inhibited type RAD, I always struggled when people asked if I wanted to be closer to my grandma. To me, we were like strangers, maybe coworkers. I didn't want to open up to her, and so I still don’t.

I believe that, while it’s nice to have a friendly relationship with caretakers, it’s not necessary. For me, it’s always been more important to have friends I can open up to.

Don’t feel pressured to form an emotionally intimate relationship if you don’t want to or feel ready for it. I still don’t think I’m close to my grandma, but we feel like acquaintances now, and that’s enough for me. You don’t have to force a relationship, but don’t be afraid if you want to start one.

Of course, you may have different experiences, or be in a different place with your caretakers, but since I've struggled with that aspect I wanted to talk about it.

Most treatment for RAD is under the assumption that the child is young, which I assume you are not. In general, I suggest finding people you can trust, if you don’t have them already. I don’t want to make too many assumptions here, so if you want more specific advice feel free to ask me.

While RAD is the result of mistreatment such as abuse or neglect, it’s rare even among those who have experienced such things. There’s some debate on why it occurs, and I believe many theories suggest disposition can make one susceptible? But I’m not entirely certain on that front. Also, I’d like to clarify one thing. While most criteria says the mistreatment must begun before age five, it’s not necessary. What happened to me was when I was 11, and it changed me enough that I gained a official diagnosis of RAD a few years later. What matters is how it affected you, not when it occurred.

Now, I’ve mentioned there’s a difference between RAD and DAD, but I haven’t specified what it is. I'll explain that, but to do so I need to talk about how they form.

The basis of RAD and DAD is what’s called attachment theory. This states that young children need strong bond with at least one caregiver to develop. The bonds with their caregivers dictate how their attachment style forms. However, RAD and DAD have their own types of attachment, referred to as inhibited attachment and disinhibited attachment.

They used to both be classified as RAD, separated under the categories ‘inhibited type’ and ‘disinhibited type’.

Many people with inhibited or disinhibited type will show signs of both, but can usually be classified as one or the other. I am inhibited type, but when I was younger I showed signs of disinhibited type in places such as school.

Inhibited attachment is what’s known as Reactive Attachment Disorder. It’s more common in mistreated children. This type is when a child avoids or ignores caregivers, often not showing affection unless convinced to.

Disinhibted attachment is what’s now known as Disinhibited Attachment Disorder. This is more common in children in institutions or group homes. This type shows affection to any and all adults. They are quick to trust strangers. When my grandma worked in foster care, she had some children who, after less than a day of meeting her, would cling to her leg and beg her to take them home.

In this case, inhibited types struggle to form attachments, while disinhibited types will form attachments quickly and easily, with no preference towards their caregivers.

I think that’s all for official information, so I'll talk a bit about my experiences with RAD.

Honestly, it’s isolating. It’s often seen as something that happens to children, and no one talked about adults with it. There’s numerous psychologists who’ll misdiagnose it in foster teens for not showing affection to adoptive parents ‘the way theyʻre supposed to’. Many people treat people with RAD or DAD as ‘psychopaths’, and there’s numerous times I’ve seen it listed as ‘terrifying’, even among the social workers that meet kids with it.

It's discouraging. But I want to tell you that you aren’t alone. I’d be happy to talk to you about your experiences, and share my own. I have hope that people will begin to recognize this disorder despite how uncommon it is, and see it for what it is.

In any case, I hope you are able to find the diagnosis you need, even if it doesn’t turn out to be this one. I wish you the best of luck!

[thegoodomensdumpster]

Can't stop thinking about your Crawleigh drawing, its so compelling. I feel sad for him getting rained on all alone...has he been on earth alone all this time? Will you draw him again? Is there a way to learn more about his story?

OOOOOH you have no idea how delighted I am that I received this ask ! You just enabled me to drop all my Crawleigh feelings out in the open. Thank you so much for that. First of all, for those who might have missed it: here the fanart @yeoldehetalian​ is referring to (yes I’m showing it again because I love Crawleigh he’s so baby)

If you are not aware: Crawleigh was the proto version of both Crowley and Aziraphale in Gaiman’s first draft of what was going to become Good Omens, a little piece of writing called William The Antichrist. After he sent it to Pratchett, the latest made the excellent suggestion to split Crawleigh into the two characters we’ve come to know and love. From memory, here is what we learn about Crawleigh in William The Antichrist: -is baby -not very good at being a demon -waited for the plumber a whole day -didn’t do any evil deeds because he was waiting for the plumber to arrive -the plumber never came and Crawleigh was really put out so he said nothing -saves all the neighbourhood cats from trees they get stuck in -can’t be mean to humans because well they are nice to him so ??? -has been tortured in Hell after the whole Atlantis debacle (which implies that he was the reason Atlantis sunk I guess) -drives a Citroën 2CV -doesn’t seem to really have any magical ability ?  Uh maybe there’s something else but I don’t remember. But you get the idea. He’s baby. In the picture below (yay ! new Crawleigh fanart !) you can see Crawleigh and his entourage of cats. I was conflicted on whether the rescued cats would take a liking to him or if they would be scared of his demonic aura, but I couldn’t bring myself to draw the Bad Cat Ending so, there, new headcanon: all the animals Crawleigh rescues take an immediate liking to him and their presence become an every day life nuisance. Kindness contains the seed of its own destruction lmao)

The boy is gonna trip on the stripped cat, I can tell you that much. ANYWAYYYY.... Here comes the fun part where I dump all my Crawleigh thoughts. More below the cut!

So, considering how GO works with binomes and mirrors, I decided to back engineer WTA by removing the duos. Crawleigh is a mix of Crowley and Aziraphale; there are two other characters that are respectively a mix of Anathema and Newt and a mix of Tracy and Shadwell (not entirely sure what that would entail tbh; so far I’m imagining two female characters, and Anewthema is the most fleshed out. She’d be something like the descendant of both a witch and a witchfinder and would be very conflicted about her heritage, having troubles making sense of magic being a thing when she has raised rationnality to a degree that it has become a dogma. Or something like that. Anyway I think that’s a cool base.) Now about William himself, the Them and the mirrors. I thought, by removing the duos and therefore the mirrors, Crawleigh would end up trying to stop Armageddon all by himself. This means that one of the core themes of GO, the fact that people have to work together and every contribution, as little as it is, is never unsignificant, isn’t really applicable anymore. Because the theme has to be shared by all the protagonists. In GO, Adam can refuse to destroy the world because not only does he like the world, but also because he’s got a whole network of support. So I think, if Crawleigh ends up having to try stopping Armageddon on his own, that should be the link at the very least between him and William (I would have said between him and all the other main characters but let’s be honest: a story where none of the main characters interact together is not very appealing). And thus we get a story that isn’t about relying on support of other people but on doing the right thing and gaining self confidence and loving yourself even when all the odds are stacked against you and you don’t have anyone to really rely on. I would imagine Crawleigh beginning the story as an obedient (tho ultimately useless) demon with little backbone and regrets and no self confidence, and through the pressure of Armageddon, discovering a very strong and very good part of himself that would end up with him saying fuck to Hell and repairing his plumbery all by himself.  As for William, well, he would go along the same way. I don’t think he’d have the Them with him. At least not yet. Maybe he’s a little weird, has trouble making friends. Maybe the other kids at school make fun of him. Maybe there is this group of kids that seem cool but he’s too shy to approach them.  And I imagine after a pep talk from someone ( Anewthema probably ? After all Anathema is the one talking to Adam in GO so it’d be fitting ) William would realize that because his life sucks a little it’s not by destroying the world - a world that he actually loves ! he’s built up a fort in Hogback woods all by himself! he loves nature and animals! - tht it’s gonna get better. He won’t be able to make any friends if there is no one around to make friends with. (This adds the non neglectable bonus of making the Horsemen “friendship” offer all the more tempting to a young boy who has never really had any friends and is aching for it).  So ultimately, Crawleigh and William would be like “yes, I am weird. Yes, I am alone. Yes, it makes me suffer. No, I’m not gonna be a bastard because of it. Maybe it’ll get better, maybe it won’t, but I’m gonna do my darn best to take care of myself even if nobody else will”. So, it’s less cotton candy than GO, but I think it’s a great message to pass along. Self love, self discovery, self confidence, staying true to yourself even in dark times. Also the fact that being alone / single is not necessarily a bad thing, can be a choice and something you can live with very well. Crawleigh and / or another one of the main characters would end up like “I am actually fine like this”. And... that’s pretty much it. There, you’ve got all my thoughts and reasonning about, basically, how I would have decided to write the whole William The Antichrist novel lmao. I’m not gonna write it though. But if anyone feels inspired and want to give it a go based on my ideas, by all means. Feel free to borrow or to contact me if you want to brainstorm more ideas / make a collaboration.  Why not. I’ve got too many Crawleigh feels.

[gayspock]

short voyager thoughts

im still unsure how i feel about janeway? </3 which- its very early, so im giving it time and some grace. i am dw. all trek series usually get better after the beginning, or at least thatsbeen the pattern thus far. but i think... and im going to be SO honest. i came into voyager nervous about her!? 3: which is soooo unfair</3 but sigh...

i ts just i have heard one or two disparaging comments. and i think, also, even without those i'd be nervous bc its like. sigh. still, to this DAY, whenever they try to replace a leading male role with a woman in a piece of media, its like -_- .. it almost always sucks... bc they give her no personality other than Woman. like- its always some weird combination of not thinking she needs one, or being too scared to actually DO anything substantial with her, and an overall just "not knowing how to write women" sentiment which. baffling beyond belief. 🤪!

and i was... esp nervous bc. trek has its issues iwth women- or at least it did at this point. dont know squat abt discovery. but i mean- with respect! i do think that ds9 did, at first, have some seriously groundbreaking stuff (like seriously, i'd rank kira and dax ABOVE many women in fiction now!!) but over the course of the show it sort of... ehrm. got a little worse? somehow? not bad, but less spectacular, eek...... and tng was. well tng is tng when it comes to women.... 🤨 (stares). if tht aired as a show rn i'd be like o9

(and also as an aside its like- yes, yes, yes... i am know its like. frome 80s-90s true like. im not triyng to be like "ohhhh,</3 this always sucked😁!" but also i do think tht . SIGH. i think its a little tiresome when ppl do take past media and like... completely put it into some vacuum whenever they talk abt its issues and criticise it. do u know what i mean. like i think its like: for one, its entirely interesting and worthwhile to talk about how consuming it is different, from a modern perspective as opposed to then; and for two its also like... the past isnt a vacuum sealed away from us, even, in the first place so like . ehrmr!! but anyways-<3)

so idk im a little afraid and i dont think theyre going to give her, like, a horrible depiction- but what im sort of anticipating is that shes just going to be.... extremely bland and middling and kinda serviceable bc her main shtick is well shes a woman full stop and im scared for tht fr fr. 😑😣 bc sigh. naurr.... bc she has a LOT of potential- hell this whole set up does!!! and again im giving it the shot, i want to go in optimistic but i keep getting this nagging fear every time im done with an ep and im like "well i have no further comments on janeway, exxcept katie mulgrew is hot which i knew when i was 16 and watching oitnb LOL" , like i just dont want her to just be a serviceable, fill in character but tbe in lurv with her fr frfr<333 soooooooo.................................................

BUT! also also also. i do- i said this last time abt voy, and its sorta why i had it on pause for a bit! like- i again i just. i think in GENERAL they arent taking full advantage of like their whole setup. and its like... its rlly getting me, omg!! bc again: fine, fine, fine. i get it - ds9 was like... a step towards sth grittier and its the outlier, and most ppl dont like it bc of that funnily enough. but thats the thing- like im not asking for that at all, yknow! not for anything super dark. however again i just... WHEN IM WATCHING THIS, IM JUST SORT OF. BEWILDERED BY HOW... NONCHALANT THEY ARE ABT THEIR WHOLE SITUATION. AND ITS LIKE- i think its really just feels weird to me, and i'll give them time to settle in i guess- but its just... i feel like i want more of a reaction. bc theyve given me the set up for some really interesting dynamics and, like, have it all primed to push them into really good narrative spaces to like explore these guys but theyre not? taking any of that opportunity?

and again its like theyre just on some happy jaunt- and thats fine!! hey, i love it. its whats trek will always be about in the end<3 but nonetheless i think... you CAN do that and still have them actually, like, fuckin acknowledge their predicament and be optimistic abt it. like fuck: i think this could rlly lead to such a heartwarming thing, abt the crews coming together, but like... i dont know. i guess it will. but also i dont know how much im gonna care in the end if u dont rlly properly explore the tension thats there in the first place. like you guys just sort of- state it, sometimes? but then the rest of the ep its like. youre just going through the motions of the rest of the script.

and i bring this up again bc im starting this ep (the cloud) and its opening with janeway and im wondering here if we're going to get more of her, but also its just occurred to me that literally.... i feel like shes one of the characters who really could be fucking PUSHED into something sooo good if they just WORKED! with what theyve set up for themselves an the beginning to this ep is rlly making me THINK of tht and im like ahhhhhhhh! ahrghh! AHHRGHHH!!!!

and the doctor also is like a funny example of like . what feels like the only character whos kind of pointing out how horrific this all is but its like hes written off as a joke the whole time and it doesnt even feel self aware and i think. again i think theres also an angle you could go for: go for the characters, here, being the type to just sort of steamroll ahead and power through this sort of sitch but..... EVEN THEN, i think you still need to address the actual sitch narratively in some way bc that still has an effect and consequences and etc etc etc

and i will quiet my mouth now bc i KNOW im jumping the gun too much but i think its just. i think whats ALSO getting to me is like- this is different to the other shows. where its like... with tng there was no overarching plot so if you didnt stick it right at the beginning, it wasnt of such a big consequence. with ds9 there was one, but i think it kind of forgives itself easily and whilst i wouldnt say it makes the show inherently better..... the clumsier start (bc its worth noting, whilst it was rocky i dont think ds9 s1 was THAT bad- at least by comparison to tng) can be appreciated almost! bc i think it works well with the humble beginnings of the show, the characters all sort of coming to ds9 as different people, etc............ but with VOYAGER its like. youve started with a pretty big event. what im assuming is supposed to define, like, the rest of the show from what i hear!? so its like- its like.... it was a BOLD move to do that. and im not saying that, hey! if you dont get it right now, the whole show is shot- nahhh, its not that deep- but i think it just feels... more stark in its mediocrity. and hmmmm. im again unsure. i am of how i think. i am babes i am

[reversecreek]

snickers feverishly at myself for bringing in a 5th... who do i think i am? unstoppable? invincible? suddenly ripples my titanium plated pecs. maybe so. u can find her pinterest here n her playlist here. 

* margaret qualley, cis female + she/her  | you know bradley milligan, right? they’re twenty-four, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, all of their life? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to looking for knives by dyan like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole snow angels trampled through by your father’s footprints, casually reading a newspaper that’s catching flame & stubbing a cigarette against the wing mirror of a parked cop car thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is november 11th, so they’re a scorpio, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( nai, 24, gmt she/her  )

HISTORY:

bradley has this memory of meeting her grandmother for the first time n everything in the room was frozen still. even the air. she didn’t feel like she cld move n she got the impression this is how it’d always been in the milligan lineage. the only thing that was allowed to act of it’s own accord was her grandmother’s eyes as she tracked every slightest flinch of muscle. when her father left the room her grandmother reached out and took bradley’s hand n bradley looked at this like it was smthn she’d never seen before until her grandmother leaned close and all she could stare at was a nicotine stain on one of her front teeth. “he’s cold, isn’t he? he’s always been cold. i don’t think he’s mine.” bradley could tell from how tight she held her hand that he was. she could tell by the way she smiled as she said it, too. the way she felt obliged to smile back.

growing up in a huge white house in aquila drive w pruned hedges sounds idyllic n looks it too. swanky cars w tinted windows in the long driveway. always men filing in and out under the cloak of night wearing expensive suits n smiles worthy of a politician’s billboard. bradley’s mum alyssa thought so too n that’s hw she got into this whole mess tbh. tony milligan is very good at advertising. he cld package a jarred human heart as strawberry jam and convince u to spread it on ur toast if he wanted to. he could make u smile politely as u ate ur own. 

alyssa ws this very pretty blonde kind of mysterious presence in a room. everyone wanted to kno her story or fk her but noone rly treated her like a person more just like a puzzle to solve. john green syndrome alert..... literally manic pixie dream girled bt on turbo charge. there were vague whispers she’d run away from home when she appeared in town out of nowhere bt nothing concrete. tony decided he wanted to crack the case n once he set his mind to something there was no changing it. they wound up embroiled in a whirlwind romance. head over heels. he came at romance hard and fast as a freight train. alyssa knew he was into shady things but not quite the full extent of it n honestly she didn’t care bc she wanted security n a family to call her own n tony promised that. they were married within a year. 

tony came frm money bt he wanted to carve his own path n make his own legacy. destined fr greatness he’d tell her. we’re destined for greatness. it sounds nice doesn’t it! alyssa thought so too.

(drugs mention tw) slowly over the yrs he essentially forged his own crime organisation tht only grew. he opened a strip club down the seedier side of irving called ‘no angels’ n this became the front thru which his gang ran drugs in the back (predominantly coke n they pride themselves fr having a Superior Blend apparently) as well as laundering cash n this also was kind of their home base to hang

(abuse tw) their marriage increasingly lost it’s shine n alyssa came to realise she’d been sold a lie n she didn’t rly know this person or what he was capable of right around the time bradley was born. by then it was kind of like Wow i am rly in this n there is not an exit door huh. i won’t go into details bt things were not good at all. bradley witnessed n experienced a lot of things she shouldn’t have growing up. she didn’t understand why other kids drew home in all these different coloured crayons like they were bright places to be. she didn’t understand why everyone got so excited when the bell rang at the end of the day bc she just felt sick. she rationalised tht this was normal when she was younger bc sometimes kids talked abt the monsters under their beds giving them nightmares n she thought mayb they were talking abt their dads too. as she got older she realised tht actually her world wasn’t the same as anyone else’s n she also realised no-one wld ever be able to tell her why. she started becoming friends with the angry feeling in her chest tht she used to try and swallow around this time. often she’d wander the mall for a while to put off going home. smoke on random park benches. watch trains rattle thru town from the vantage point of a random rooftop. 

(abuse, missing person implied, murder implied & grief tw) when bradley was 12 she woke up and all of her mum’s clothes were gone frm their drawers. no shoes anywhere. a framed photo of them at the beach holding bradley as a baby vanished from over the mantelpiece. when bradley asked her dad what was going on, tony essentially said “it was exhausting her. being here. being your mother. she didn’t want to do it any more, so now she’s gone” n then he hugged her. little details leaked into the mix over the yrs. at one point tony dismissed her as having flown overseas to a foreign country to drink in the sun like she’d always wanted even tho alyssa always told bradley she liked the snow best (once she even walked outside as it fell in a thin lace nightgown when tony was out n when bradley said “mom you’re gonna get cold” she only tugged her down and made her do snow angels until her lips looked blue). the most significant memory bradley can never shake from her head is her mother cupping a yellow tulip at the park n saying she hated them. when bradley asked why she only turned and smiled at her as she stroked the hair from her face n then said “because they look so happy”. after bradley’s mum vanished a long flower bed at the bottom of the garden was suddenly overrun with dozens of freshly planted yellow tulips. whenever bradley looked at them out of her window she got this sickly feeling in the pit of her stomach like she was visiting a cemetery. she suspected what had happened to her mum (especially as rumours circulated within tony’s organisation abt alyssa being unfaithful with someone tht used to work fr him) bt she cld never bring herself to truly accept it. thus she ws stuck in this strange purgatory state of not-quite-anger at her mum for “leaving” and not-quite-grief.

bradley rly started to transgress in school after her mum was gone. alyssa was always kind of a character when she’d pick bradley up (wasn’t doing well n acted kind of ‘eccentric’ i suppose u cld say) so tony managed to spin it all as a child acting out in the wake of an unfit mother uprooting n abandoning. bradley became........ interesting. JKHGFSSKJGHFSGHSKFGHFG. she’d snap n resort to violence very easily. very desensitised to it. students were kind of scared of her tbh. as this progressed into proper high school she got in w the more rowdy popular crowd solely bc she was so fking.... wild for lack of a better word. rly would just do anything fr the thrill. had no sense of ‘i shouldn’t do this bc it’s dangerous’. partied harder than anyone. bit back harder than anyone. no filter. hung w a lot of guys honestly bc they had less morals n either found her scariness cool or wanted to fk <3

(hospitalisation, depression & drugs tw) she’s had. a few stints in psychiatric institutions fr various reasons tbh. missed a small chunk of her senior yr fr this but it wasn’t widely known just kind of rumoured. she showcases a lot of similar symptoms to her mum who struggled w severe depression (which was difficult to cope w when ur husband was often pouring ur prescription down the drain fr kicks) n in order to compensate fr the lows she takes a lot of things to kick them into highs. drinks n snorts too much. bradley i love u bt i’m begging u to seek healthier coping mechanisms......

as the yrs went on (especially once alyssa had gone) tony rly started trying to integrate bradley into the business side of things...... she literally. is named bradley bc he was expecting a boy n he was like well let’s still call her bradley. n had in mind she’d still fulfil the role he wanted her to of being his little protege so to speak.... both sexist n ugly all in one fell swoop...... an example of this is he literally. bought her a mint green switchblade for her 14th birthday n named it tinkerbell bc it would “die without attention” aka using it. tht sounds like a healthy gift to give a child tony congratulations sis <3

in an ideal world bradley wld have gone to uni to study psychology bc she jst wants to know how the fk her dad is literally like that bt she probably stuck around n is now managing no angels along with billy n marco (billy’s in her dad’s gang n is, u guessed it, a cunt, n marco is his sort of right hand man so to speak) bc tony’s in the closest neighbouring city overseeing a second ‘no angels’ opening up there to expand into a franchise n widen their income margins. bradley wld also be sort of used as a honey trap type deal once she got older if they needed to lure ppl places n sometimes still is bt it depends. the guys in the club all know not to mess w bradley bc she’s tony’s daughter n literally kind of scary herself sometimes bt there’s also this certain allure tht comes with being the boss’ daughter n it kind of comes across in how they act or talk abt her. yes i will kill them all n no i won’t feel bad abt it <3

think that’s kind of all u need to kno history wise... blinks one eye out of sync w the other..... runs to personality

PERSONALITY:

a phrase i wld always use to describe bradley in old intros is “like a cup of black coffee with one grain of sugar that u don’t taste until the last sip”. also dark chocolate. lime. liquorice. she’s an acquired taste n i feel like u either love her or u hate her. 

cannot express how unpredictably chaotic she is..... frequently throws a drink in a stranger’s face jst to start something bc she’s bored. loves to hurl cheese slices across the room so they slap onto someone’s face out of nowhere. likes smashing things. stubbing cigarettes out on faces in framed family photographs. will literally pick a lock n then smash the window besides it to defeat the whole purpose just bc she found how neat it was boring. does anything fr the adrenaline n thrill. gets into far too many fights n fights dirty. probably been thrown out of every bar in town at least three times. banned from a bunch too.

she’s witty bt she has a dark sense of humour..... can be quite mean.......... loves to roast ppl for no reason........ honestly has some nathan young frm misfits aspects in that sense like jst seems untouchable emotionally n like she doesn’t take anything seriously n is fking outrageous about it.....

has this quality abt her tht kind of scares herself sometimes. it’s like she recognises parts of her dad in her. she’s very perceptive (bc she’s had to be over the yrs trying to read every micro-expression of her dad’s to predict what’s next) n like emotionally intelligent in a way which is ironic bc her own emotions r just an absolute minefield.... bt. she can read people quite well. gets this eerily calm look abt her sometimes n it’s jst like god what’s. she thinking. what’s she’s gna do. i’m shaking. a cool n controlled kind of rage can often be scarier than the explosive type n bradley does that well. grits my teeth n tugs on my collar....

very strong on the surface. hates being vulnerable. has this ingrained idea that crying is childish or rly any kind of emotional display within herself. 50% not taking things seriously 50% angry. tht’s how she comes across....... internally? whole different story. bt ppl don’t see that.

very cavalier abt some things. will flash her tits n not even think abt it. jst very out there...... one of her closest friends is a homeless man named joe who wears neon purple fishnets on his head n loves to spit on ppl from over an underpass. finds eccentric ppl like this funny n surrounds herself w them. loves to be kept on her toes.

LOVES driving stolen cars down the wrong side of the highway. it’s a lot.

fiercely loyal to a fault to a select few bt if u wrong her personally this can switch pretty quick. quite a force to b reckoned w n will hold a grudge. bt like. if ur a Chosen One she’d bury a body for u no questions asked. 

WANTED CONNECTIONS

deals to u: bradley isn’t like full time into dealing bt she does do it sometimes.... treats it kind of like a hobby bc the lesser ranked can do tht shit as far as she’s concerned bt.. sometimes also jst gets bored n is like. why not. might be chaotic. mayb they’ll try to rob me <3 we love the thrill <3 or like..... if ur friends w her she’ll deal to u n no she will not do a friends discount <3 or if she does there will definitely be some sort of stipulation attached <3

high skl crew: if ur muse is local n ws an absolutely demonic hell spawn in high skl tht went to 1974547254 parties n was outrageously chaotic n rude then. bradley probably was friends w them <3 her friendships tend to be surface level bt they’d definitely go out a bunch bt whether they actually knew a lot abt her life is debatable bt we could explore options fr this

people who work at no angels: no angels is her dad’s strip club in irving that she kind of helps to run now. it’s kind of a shifty environment. the place where ud have an outrageous bachelor party. u go for the first time w a fake id n u get served bt u also get ur wallet stolen n ur convinced someone spat in ur drink n u also kind of think there might b a hit on u now after u made eye contact too long w a broad shouldered man smoking in a back booth. scary environment. testament to her dad as a person. maybe ur muse is a dancer there or works the bar or security or whatever u name it....

ma’am are u ok?: ur muse found bradley passed out across two bus seats one time in smudged dark eyeliner a silver slip dress n the world’s chunkiest combat boots this town hs ever seen. sometimes she winds up in spots like this when she goes too hard n it’s absolutely dangerous n reckless bt that’s jst bradley <3 mayb they forged an unlikely friendship frm this strange meeting or maybe even? dare i say it? a romance? opposite worlds colliding? good influence? let’s go crazy. release ur inhibitions. feel the rain on ur skin.

hook-ups: bradley’s cavalier abt this stuff..... very unemotional typically..... mayb we cld do an unrequited thing that wld be angsty n fun altho i won’t lie i don’t kno if she’d be the one to catch the feelings.... she rarely sleeps over bt once when she woke up in someone’s bed she hiked over to straddle them carefully as possible so they wldn’t wake up n then pressed her knife to their neck as a fun little surprise where she said boo when they opened their eyes.... she’s a lot clearly.

watermelon slugger, hiiii: bradley has this habit where she gets a bunch of watermelons n then goes to a rooftop n throws them over the edge to watch them explode when they hit the pavement.... maybe ur muse almost got hit by one once n were like WTF???????? another quirky meet cute moment like the bus one <3 can’t stop w them <3 maybe she randomly invited ur muse to do it w her when they were like. a stranger of f the street. she was bored. decided to adopt them as a science experiment. we cn elaborate on this probably....

ouch charlie: similar territory bt she also sometimes shoots pedestrians w a bb gun from rooftops. mayb ur muse wld always get hit by one on a certain route they walked n finally one day they saw her head ducking down behind a ledge n then they see her in the street one day n are like HEY IT’S YOU............. WTF? n bradley’s like ya i’m christ risen again it’s a lot to take in i know...

rly jst anything... mutually destructive friends... exes.... in one rp a character tried to get close to bradley so he cld write an expose all book about her n her family which i found so fking funny so i’ll request that again.... people she’s fought.... ppl whose gf/bf she’s fk’d n it’s caused enemy status.... someone whose place she broke into and shaved their eyebrows off in the night only to draw them on again in crudely thin permanent sharpie lines.... roommates cld be fun n sexy i’d love that actually.... jst anything rly. go wild. kisses everyone tenderly on cheeks.

[daisy--sorbet]

heyyy, hope you’re having a good night!! if you have the energy and feel okay answering, what’s up w taz graduation? i haven’t checked it out yet but i was thinking ab it. just asking bc you’re the first person i saw talk ab the show having serious issues, but also feel free to not answer this!! hope you have a good week!

i took a nice hot bath, had a strawberry kiwi capri-sun, and did a nice face mask and i’m feeling pretty good - so, y’know what anon? let’s talk about it. 

for anyone who likes taz grad who sees this post: it’ll be tagged with “taz grad hate” (although i feel hate is definitely a very strong word - it’s for the simplicity of tagging it) - so please block the tag if you don’t want to see this post (especially because i put a readmore on a post before and it didn’t show up on mobile and instead gave the full post). mobile tumblr has a tag blocking system, so please feel free to use it! i don’t mind haha

anyway, so this is... probably going to be a lost post, and i wanna go ahead and preface it: this absolutely isn’t any hate on the mcelroys themselves. i love the brothers and their dad a lot, and while i doubt any of them would ever see this (or have it sent to them, or shown to them, because im pretty sure they try to distance themselves from this sort of thing), i just want to make it clear that criticizing a product is different than bashing a person. which brings me to the point of if i do end up sounding as if im bashing someone - please call me out on it! it’s not my intention to target anyone.

with that said, let’s talk about this campaign.

so my problems are as thus: the railroading, the shipping (a fandom problem, but it’s present in the podcast), the NPCs, and some misc problems others have addressed better than i have.

which. i know. that’s basically the entire podcast. (i promise i’ll bring up some positive points to balance it all out). keep in mind i’ve only personally listened to... what, six episodes? and it was enough for me to drop it. some people dropped it first ep, some dropped it ep four, and others are still forcing themselves to listen.

the railroading

there was a time i could handle travis and his railroading [making sure the story goes exactly the way he has planned], because it was the very beginning of the podcast and that’s what you can kind of expect from a plot-heavy podcast. hell, i wouldn’t mind it if the interactions and goofs weren’t a huge part of why i listen to TAZ in particular (which, by the way, is why amnesty still stuck out to me - even if there was a direction griffin wanted to push them towards, the interactions between the players (or players and npcs) made up for any railroading). it’s kind of hard to not railroad a little when it’s story-heavy and you’re trying to built up a world that you’ve put a lot of thought into. however, a huge part of d&d is the spontaneity. 

it’s kind of why i think balance was so popular. while there was railroading towards the end, there was the presence of improv that made it all good. most mcelroy content is enjoyed because of the goofs. the magic brian moment is memorable. the jenkin’s fight still stands out because it was funny (albeit a result of some bad rolls). the boys teasing angus sticks out because the four would play well off of each other. even without that - griffin had talked about how he had to roll with things (the fact he had planned for a fight atop the train, but ditched the idea for what his family members came up with instead). even in amnesty, a couple moments that stick out to me still are ned with the jetpack taking out a pizza hut sign, and the scene with the water where jake was trapped inside. they aren’t as fun, but they still stand out as “things i didnt expect to really end the way they did.”

with grad, it’s just. one after another. the thundermen want to subpoena a xorn? cool, let’s run with that until actually the xorn gets fed rocks and goes home and who cares about the subpoena now. fitzroy wants to keep his cloak? lets talk about it for a while and you also get no rolls to even try to keep it. fitzroy goes to meet higglemas in his office? oh, why are you here fitzroy? im going to keep asking you until you answer fitzroy? you arent getting out of this scene until you answer me, fitzroy, so just tell me why you’re here already, alright, fitzroy? 

and even later in a episode i read a transcript of: hey argo, remember how you have this whole secret motivation? fuck you, im gonna talk about it here in your dream and reveal it to listeners and remove any tension you had building up, and you dont get a choice to talk about it because this all-knowing villain knows all about it :)

and even NOW in the latest episode, there’s a comment that “we should cap argo’s skills here” instead of just... making the checks higher. rogues are good at certain things and usually arent the best in battles. better hope argo never makes it to level 11, because who knows how people are gonna handle the fact that he gets a skill that’ll make it so certain skills can’t have a roll below 10 (reliable talent). 

(griffin, thankfully, calls travis out for that, but still - travis, why would you even imply that, considering you should be aware of how rogues work considering magnus multiclassed into rogue and you played one on tiny heist?)

and in the newest episode, their Big Bad chaos (which, god, i personally hate that name) straight-out says “dont do this” to the thundermen. travis tries to say, on twitter, “a character saying “dont do this” is different than me saying it” but i need to point out that it’s one thing if you’ve said “no” in character but worked with the PCs doing otherwise, but the railroading says differently.

the shipping

ill try to make this quick, because it’s nothing to do with the fandom (ship however you want, man) - but i really feel the need to draw attention to this.

fitzroy, as confirmed by griffin in a ttazz episode, is asexual. not aroace, but ace nonetheless. and i find it... troublesome that the idea of rainer and fitzroy having a relationship is still pushed nonetheless, despite the fact that fitzroy (to my knowledge) was never once shown to reciprocate any feelings. not to be that person, but i really hope that grad doesnt have any sort of romantic relationships in it (at least - not between NPCs and PCs unless they’re actually like... warranted?). 

i dont know, man. one of my closest friends is ace, and i know she wants a relationship, but i think it would reassure her a lot to see an ace character who isn’t pushed into one in case she ever changes her mind. someone once mentioned that they hope fi/tz/ra/in doesnt happen because theres relationships that have that “oh, you can just date” and it goes upwards there to “oh, you can have sex just to please them <3″  (which, to be honest, is kind of a gross mindset - if someone isnt interested, they arent interested).

also, uh, the TTAZZ where griffin states this, there’s kind of the mention tht the whole sexuality question was posed in relation to the episode “creative thinking” (the dream one i mentioned earlier) - which. uh. i don’t know if anyone caught this, but... rainer straight-up wrote fitzroy a letter in the dream like “are you going to accept my proposal? a girl doesn’t like to be left waiting” which. leaves me with some gross feelings because uh.

if... if the whole thing about fitzroys sexual orientation was addressed here, then why would you push your ship anyway? feels kinda iffy, man.

to which i want to say: fitzroy can date. he’s allowed to date. griffins allowed to do whatever he wants with his character. but when a lot of the flirting is met with nothing, i’m not gonna see the chemistry there. just because travis ships it doesn’t mean it’s canon.

the npcs

ah yes. lets talk about the npcs.

there’s... a lot. a lot a lot. i think travis trimmed down how many were present in a scene, but uh. there’s still a lot. and... uh... i kinda wish there wasn’t?

look, i know im going back to balance/amnesty, but just. hang in there for a moment. chill with me. vibe. 

balance didnt have too many NPCs present at all times in each mini-arc. gerblins had some big names like barry, klarg, gundren, killian, yeemick, and magic brian. rockport limited had angus, jess, graham the juicy wizard jenkins, and all of the tom bodetts mentioned. 

amnestys first arc had mama, barclay, jake, dani, pigeon, kirby, minerva, and that was about it for like. big names? and not all of them were present in each scene. 

in the first episode of grad alone: gary, hernandez, jimson, rolandus, zana, rhodes, buckminster eden, rainer, leon, tomas, hieronymous, higglemas, stuart, jackle, bartholomeus, mulligan, groundsy, germaine/victoria/rattles (the skeleton crew). and those are the ones i wrote down (minus groundsy, who i just. ignores. idk him).

like holy shit, my english prof got onto me for having too many characters in my first chapter and i didnt even have half the amount listed there! 

it’s just a huge cast. does this take place in a school? yes! theres bound to be a lot of students present - but you don’t have to name every single one of them, at least not in the first episode!

the miscellaneous

i don’t know if travis ever actually addressed it, but wheelchair users have actually like... said that rainer’s introduction bothered them, because she was like “please ask me abt my wheelchair :)” when travis saying she was in an ornate chair would have sufficed. 

uh. the colonization vibes people have discussed within the centaur arc. mentioned here, the replies here, and this post (and its replies) here as well.

the overall lack of d&d when the campaign was kind of advertised as a return to d&d if i remember correctly

also no one seems to be taking literally any criticism at all which like. ignoring the petty shit, sure, but people have stopped donating to taz and their listener-ship must have dropped some during this entire time - you’d think that maybe someone could say “we need to find out why people dont like the thing and fix the thing” consider this is. yknow. their livelihood.

anyway uhhh 

tl;dr: travis railroads way too much (even now), the shipping in-game has become pushy and gross (especially bc its shoving a relationship onto an asexual character), theres too many npcs that dont stand out well enough, and no ones taking any criticism about the major issues with grad. 

[nozomijoestar]

Transcribed and formatted for readability the master thesis between me and @wlwclem​ on the nuances to NaraTrish together and as individuals being why we love it and respect it not being CompHet- we spent way too much Big Brain Energy on it to not share 

tw: brief mention of F-Slur when giving an example on toxic masculinity being bullshit, sexuality is briefly discussed in a non sexualizing way and in no graphic detail

*insert IM TRISH KIN BUCCIARATI joke here*

epickinnienaranciaYesterday at 11:45 PM

JDDBSJDBD YES bc ofc she gotta be Reassuring but at the same time his Himboism Knows No Bounds One of the lines in EoH u can give her is “Go get me an Italian Vogue magazine too while you’re at it” and I’m like. Queen

nozomijoestarYesterday at 11:46 PM

JDHDHDF BDE Narancia whipped Narancia stands no chance

epickinnienaranciaYesterday at 11:46 PM

OH FOR REAL one of HIS victory lines is something about getting all the stuff for her lmao And this is like even if she isn’t in the battle, Always Thinking Of His Queen

nozomijoestarYesterday at 11:50 PM

Trish decides to test the limits of this and his ability to recognize them by asking for impossible or nonexistent items/feats and when he continues to try for her without question she realizes she has too much power and must restrain it fjdjjdjfjf Can't turn into Dad

epickinnienaranciaYesterday at 11:51 PM

JDBDBSJS The color palette changes while she has an inner monologue while she watches him try to make her happy

nozomijoestarYesterday at 11:53 PM

"Oh my god Bucciarati was right...he's too loyal for his own good I need to stop even if it's a little fun"   Meanwhile Narancia: growing more and more frustrated with himself for perceived failure to someone he loves

epickinnienaranciaYesterday at 11:55 PM

She stops for the most part but does it every so often bc it’s cute

nozomijoestarYesterday at 11:56 PM

Lucky to have a freak like dat I feel like the only thing that can counter this self defeatism Narancia can get (bc his younger childhood...ofc he's fucked up and anxious and paranoid abt not being enough or abandoned) is Trish having to open her own repressed self up and love the shit out of himLike those reassuring lines she has in EoH and her moments in the anime/manga Bruno fucking does it as his father figure and Narancia admits it gives him strength

December 19, 2019

epickinnienaranciaToday at 12:04 AM

Yes, he feels like he has to prove his worth and like he’s worth having around otherwise he’s useless, i def feel like he would not like talking about the stuff that happened in the past with everyone bc he would feel ashamed and stupid or st, he needs to be told You Are Enough and her to open up too so they can lean on each other

nozomijoestarToday at 12:12 AM

Honestly no jokes for a second I feel like this is also abt breaking toxic masculinity bc it's fucking Italy in the early 00s just out of the 90s...it was RIFE rifer than even now with that shit like in much of the world then too, the idea that a boy becoming a man and men in general need to strictly follow dumbass self harming rules

 especially abt not opening up and only having real priorities for earning money, honoring family, and procreating as much as possible whether it's marriage making a family or "having sexual conquests" in promiscuity, anything outside of this bullshit image can't be tolerated and you might as well be a woman or "a fag" if you don't assert some fictional narrative of trying extremely hard to have power in everything bc that's all that matters is the ridiculous idea of Alpha Males applied to humans 

Narancia being a 80s- 90s kid with the childhood he had did not give him much fighting chance at all in this context and time period  esp just bc he happened to be born with a dick and thus saddled with these harmful expectations society made that could've only further repressed his recognition of not beating himself up and his own emotional needs on top of EVERYONE ever betraying him Where was he supposed to go? He can't go anywhere unless he meets Bruno

epickinnienaranciaToday at 12:18 AM

yes i agree..... like, males being looked down upon for opening up, being societally forced to shoulder the burdens and “man up” and just deal with it and fix everything. And then already having a toxic support system with his “friend” betraying him and his dad Sucking Major Ass, all he’s been taught is deal with it but hasn’t been given the tools to know how, and if Bruno didn’t meet him he honestly would be so stuck, what person (esp in that time period) is going to go out of their way to help an uneducated young male?

nozomijoestarToday at 12:20 AM

Even if it tragically ends with his death in canon I feel like the time he spent with Bruno's bois, Giorno, and Trish was huge in making some of that crack little by littleBc he has moments where you see how sweet he actually is, his "real" personality if you will underneath all the unresolved anger when he's with ppl he sees love him and give him hope When Giorno said No One Is Going To Hurt You Anymore that just made me cry harder

epickinnienaranciaToday at 12:23 AM

Yes! Like, ofc he gets angry, has unrepressed rage and reactions to things, he hasn’t had any type of emotional support in SO long and it’s not like it’s 100% fantastic in that regard with buccigang (which don’t get me wrong they are family but they are still in an aggressive gang and go off and give each other lots of shit)-YEAH AND THE FUCKIGN PLANT GROWING TOO IM

nozomijoestarToday at 12:25 AM

Trish is legit I think the one person aside from Giorno who would treat him without even the gang's aggressiveness Narancia is my fav in VA even if Bruno is the best written VA character bc he's me, this kind of shit in my life is why I developed PTSD undiagnosed since my childhood that only kept getting worse until only this year have I gotten any true help I know exactly how he feels 

Esp when you think your whole life exists to serve others never yourself NaraGio shippers I see y'all argument even if I don't follow it tbh, Gio was again the only one besides Trish to consistently care for Nara in day to day and when he was in danger and esp during the Clash and Talking Heads fight Gio was the one dude present like No Narancia It's Ok Please Tell Me What's Wrong You're Clearly Stressed

epickinnienaranciaToday at 12:31 AM

yeah although i haven’t experienced it i can still empathize and try to understand, i think there’s so many layers of protection and walls that most people never truly look past it to see the root cause or true self YES that fight was so frustrating bc they were all like Narancia stop being an idiot when something was clearly wrong and he was obviously in distress!!

nozomijoestarToday at 12:32 AM

Also Gio was the only one who first asserted that No, Narancia did the right thing in fighting Formaggio

epickinnienaranciaToday at 12:33 AM

Yes and with that whole interaction the gang often uses Narancia as the scapegoat essentially and just give him shit for every little thing without trying to understand his POV

nozomijoestarToday at 12:33 AM

The Clash fight tbh I feel was an ass pull set up to give Narancia his big bad ass loyalty proving moment even if it's a great fight that beginning part is...only the Trish and Gio interactions rly make sense fjdjdjI wish him and Giorno hung out more or I guess more like talked more bc you can't rly hang out when you're getting assassinated every day hfgdg

epickinnienaranciaToday at 12:36 AM

Yeah hdkdb, even with Fugo, even tho he found him and brought him to Bruno, he still calls him a dumbass, stabs him with a fork and shit, and then with Mista even tho I feel like they are Like Bros, he destroys Narancia’s radio for no fucking reason and also has a pattern of taking shit Narancia paid for without paying him backI def agree with that, I feel like Giorno interactions were lacking in that there really weren’t many one on one meaningful things so it’s hard for me to grasp his personal headspace and relationships a lot of the time

nozomijoestarToday at 12:37 AM

However to be a little more fair to the Bucci gang the manga version has Narancia trying a lot lot more to get their attention in logical ways that unfortunately Talking Heads completely ruins, he tried writing to let them know what was happening and TH warped the text into him saying vulgar things bragging abt his dick being a powerful Stand

epickinnienaranciaToday at 12:38 AM

Yeah I was gonna add I wasn’t sure if the manga had other stuff, tbf

nozomijoestarToday at 12:38 AM

I think this is also Shounen Tropes of the 90s at play too the "child" character was often written as the comic relief dumbass Narancia suffers it so it does add a layer of Not Good to his relationships The trope still exists tbh Anime cut out him writing I assume bc it's too sexual It's already pushing it having him whip it out and piss in front of everyone jfhdhd

epickinnienaranciaToday at 12:41 AM

Yeah you right, it’s like the i want it to be that deep meme, like Araki obvi doesn’t have him only as comic relief but if he delved into his character more there would’ve been so much more that could’ve been done and shown YEAH DJDBDJDJF I WAS SURPRISED THT WAS ANIMATED

------------------------[ CUT INTERMISSION ]-----------------------------

nozomijoestarToday at 12:51 AM

Ok but to get back on track with where I was trying to go even opening this all up is how it's critical to NaraTrish in a mutually beneficial way

nozomijoestarToday at 1:01 AM

Nara is no incel he's a King obvs but he is also at heart a confused scared kid uncertain of anything in the world beyond what's closest in his grasp and without someone actively believing in and validating him he can't fully achieve awareness of healthy dynamics and even the problems within the ones he already has with his gang and Bruno- Trish doesn't have to babysit him and be the stereotypical The Woman Only Supports And Gives Up Her Body bc thats never her and couldn't be her and Narancia wouldn't make her that way bc even when he kinda touches on that (giving in a bit to the idea that men are the main protectors of women) when he gets too fixated on wanting what he thinks is for her wellbeing he does snap out and acknowledge he's wrong bc 

Trish by her independent nature and tremendous Will proves those stereotypes are bullshit, not even factoring in their first meeting as already making a huge impression on his beliefs of what girls can do- Trish knowing how to challenge him by staying true to herself yet having the compassion to help someone suffering and with fewer chances from birth than she had would not only win him over but give him something even Bruno can't, self sustaining confidence, bc Trish isn't part of a chain of command, she's just a girl in love with a boy who wants him to be happy and that concept while foreign to him for so long once it kicks in he could actually learn to build himself For himself and For someone who wouldn't use him for some greater schemes or dirty work, 

I love Bruno ok he's one of the best characters in anything ever but his flaw in his ability to help motivate ppl is tied to that fact that he's bringing them into a dangerous strict order of command to Serve not entirely in a place/way that lets them just be themselves and realize organic loving relationships with anyone and themselves SO

epickinnienaranciaToday at 1:05 AM

they’re healing...... being shown love without a position of authority or any obligations is so powerful for his growth

nozomijoestarToday at 1:25 AM

That all being said, Everything Trish does he's paying attention to, she keeps him alive during the Grateful Dead fight not because she needs him to serve for a cause ( a cause might I add even Bruno the near saint he is was ready to let Nara go right then and there for bc death is in the job description) but because she doesn't know him well yet and shit he even swung a knife at her when they first met over who was in the bathroom, but he's a person suffering and in pain and to let him die even if it's Expected Of The Mission is garbage to her even if she respects Bruno down the line as a father compared to fucking evil Diavolo,

 Trish constantly goes out her way to do these things for Nara bc Trish instinctively knows he's the most vulnerable mentally and her sense of compassion and justice (likely something Donatella made sure to instill in her before her death by cherishing Trish and spoiling her even as a single mother) will not stand to not help someone when she could've- and he reciprocates it even if in disbelief bc he can tell This Person Is Safety, This Person Is Like Me Yet Not, A Better Me I Want To Be, by the time he's about to die someone with his fragile mind was actually gaining conviction about taking control for himself on his own terms and he would risk even those chances to defend the person who actually helped him arrive there (along with Gio) in the first place, 

I think by the end of his life he rly did love her or start to, it being romantic or not is up to individual interpretation to which you know I'm in the romance camp, point is he found someone who truly taught him strength without him fully realizing it and did so without belittling him, if anything instead treating him only with love and kindness and patience (not being a door mat for him, but like, not treating him like ass like everyone else has their moments of either), I think anything Trish asks of him, this is all why he's so willing to do it on top of feeling deep  empathy, I've written in my character notes as well that like this goes even further to sex being one of the most intimate things there is, like I kno we jest and jape abt Teens Doing Dumb Shit bc we're clowns 

but the sheer vulnerability you have to have esp in a first love situation to be willing to go through with that for the first time ever takes a lot of trust and courage, aspects I think Trish was able to give him and would solidify in asking something seen as so important for many people from him, the headstrong Trish wants to be vulnerable for him and the slowly confidence boosted Narancia wants to accept that faith and trust and love and exchange it with his own of the same for her, it's not horny teens 100% it's two hurt but hopeful kids on the verge of having to be adults wanting to find another piece of identity in how they are with someone else, obvs it will forever be offscreen bc pedos deserve to be skinned alive 

I just feel that the components that would fuel them to do something teens try to do to feel more adult and bc hormones are a lot more based in growing maturity than pure lust, I think this is what I fully mean by Writing About Teens Exploring Love And Sexuality; Not Fetishizing And Reveling In Showing The Act Itself Especially For Disgusting Titillation, I think this and not explicitly writing the sex are the difference between child porn and creating realistic characters

epickinnienaranciaToday at 1:36 AM

Yeah, it is going to sound like a dumb take but the topic of sex and sexuality itself is not inherently sexual, by which I meant it isn’t the focus — there’s SO much more to it and in this case especially it can be like the ultimate sign of love, trust, intimacy, compassion, trying to make your way as a teen through a harsh world, like I can go on. Nasties Dont Interact but the shying away from the mere mention of it in a non-sexualized context is unrealistic. 

 Yes The Grateful Dead fight i 1000% agree is so important in both his personal growth and the development of their relationship, I think it’s an important parallel that he is dumbfounded about her going to such lengths to keep him alive without the sense of duty/obligation versus Trish’s feelings and outbursts of confusion on why Bucciarati and his gang even cared about her, protecting her to the point of death being on the line.(edited)

epickinnienaranciaToday at 1:44 AM

all these elements of complication and similarities between their characters is why ive gotten so passionate about both them and their relationship (whether romantic or platonic it’s really fucking strong and good), the story of two kids making it through adversity, learning to unshoulder their burdens and lean on others, the Found Family™️, and learning and growing together is just so much more fucking deep and complex than the mainstream bs that exists. 

now im not any type of elitist hipster but esp in male and female relationships portrayed in what feels like basically fucking everything are just like CompHet Bullshit and they’re together bc They Are Just Supposed To Be (not to mention the toxic masculinity culture within that where the women barely have character arcs and are just seen as objects anyways) But what I’m trying to say is that in this the relationship is real and it feels earned in a way that just isn’t there in so much other media out there(edited)

nozomijoestarToday at 1:48 AM

Honestly if we tweak this just a lil more this is basically Guts and Casca One of the greatest and saddest romances ever written

epickinnienaranciaToday at 1:48 AM

i still have berserk bookmarked just haven’t gotten around to reading yet

nozomijoestarToday at 1:48 AM

If VA was a Seinen it's p much Berserk In Italy Also big brain...galaxy brain...everything you said was a fact signed sealed and delivered(edited)

epickinnienaranciaToday at 1:51 AM

Wow we’re actually in sync and using the brain cell to its fullest extent tonight

nozomijoestarToday at 1:51 AM

When I say she's his world and he's hers this is what I mean, not comphet hdhdhfhYEAH HFHDG

epickinnienaranciaToday at 1:52 AM

(also my phone autocorrected “and” to “ANF” bc of twdg..... it also sometimes changes it to “AMD” bc I work in technology. My Phone Knows My Interests Are More Important To Me Than One Of The Main Parts Of Speech. Iconic)YESSSS they’re just SO GOOD there’s so much to articulate!

nozomijoestarToday at 1:55 AM

She was his Queen, and god help anyone who disrespected his Queen

epickinnienaranciaToday at 1:55 AM

JDBDHE SHIT THE FUCK IP DKDBEBDJFBBD

nozomijoestarToday at 1:56 AM

Buy my silence $8000 a month

[finding-the-daylight]

Today has been a very stressful day, so guess wtf time it is? Drunk Breaking Dawn Pt. 1. Here is what I soberly remember of the movie (I have not watched it since BD2 came out): 

1. There’s a wedding.

2. There’s a honeymoon.

3. There’s swimming in the ocean.

4. There’s an accidental pregnancy.

5. The baby almost kills Bella.

6. The canon incident that we all hate happens.

7. The Volturi evilly laugh. 

Same as Eclipse, my drunken narration of the movie will be below the break.

A brief intro statement, I was 100% sober and just beginning to drink at the beginning of the Eclipse post and progressively got more drunk. For BD1, I’m throwing back before I even start watching this shit show.

- I love the effects of the intro. it’s very calming. THe putting away childish things quote is literally a Bible verse. I hate that Stpehen appropriated Quileute culture, Christian culture, and every culture. I know she’s mormon but sitll. THis shit feels real appropriated.

- Idk why rennee is all happy. she never gave a shit before.

- OMG ALICE TEHCING BELLA TO WALK IN HEELS IS THE CUTEST ICRY.

- carlisle carryign the bench is literally the hottest hting i’ve ever seen fck

- lowkey kinda creeprd out because she’s literally sacrificing her humanity to marry this deud she’s known for like a year but everyone other than jacob is super supportive

- damn she’s looking @ this dreamcatcher and it’s making me sad but tbh that shit probably caused half her nightmares because she’s not native so sleep paralysis (if you know you know).

- DAMN EDWAD RELALY JUST ADMITTED HE’S BEEN A VIRGING FOR OVER 100 YEARS WHAT AB RAVE MAN WE STAN

- BUT FOR REAL WHY IS NO ONE FREAKING TF OUT THAT SHE’S LITERALLY BEGGING TO DIE FOR THIUS DUE?

- he just todl her hes killed people and explained it and it didn’t work she’s still down to clown with this vapire emo boi

- HOW HE’S SMILTING @ HR WTF I AM SO ALONEEEE

- i just wama ne im loved amd ne loved in retun plz

- this dream sequence is awful also fck the volturi is til hate that they never overthrew that crabbyass monarchy bullshit they were powerful enough

- i just wanna be like rosalie when i greow up

- charlie knew shit was off when he saw those crapsk 

- why the HELL is renen actin liks she cares? bitch go the fuck back home

- jessica is the only one with any damn common sense in this whole series talking about they’re too fucking young for this shitt bitch true and itm akes sene now why she was the valedictioajrn 

- SLEEPING AT LAST IS THT GROUP IDK IF YALL HAVE HEARD ANY OF HTEIR OTHER STUFF BUT THEY’RE AMAIZNG AND I USED TO CRY MYSELF TO SLEEP # THAT SHIT

- damn id’ be fuckign panicking too your lfie is over hoe 

- stpeheen sto pwiht your racist ass smiling its offensive

- CHARLIE FUCKING DEWEVRE BETTER SOMEONE LOVE HIM PLEASR

- this wedding is gorgoeus though i live for hte fuckj g aestiec 

- OH MY GORD THE PROM SONGGGGGGGG  FCK ME RIGHT IN THE EMO 

- IT JUST HIT ME WHN THEY WRE LOOKI  @ EACH OTHERS EYES THIS BTCH REALLY MARYING AN UNDRSF VAMPIRE HOE this shit is horryighn why was i not scare?

- carlisle is the love of y life

- sth is a lil ray of sunishen 

- i just reaized howd fucked it is that sue and chalrie are starng to catch feelz ut sue knows his daughter is funckugn off with a unded vamp emo iboi

- OMG I FCUKING HATE STEPHENE RACIST ASS I LEGIT MADE AP OST EARLIER SYAING LAURENT WANTED TO DO THE RIGHT THING ANDWOUVLEBE BEND A VEGETATIAN BITCH AND IRENEA CONFIRMED FCK THIS SHIT IM OUT ANG ANGRY

- charlie is gget ing drunk as hell my spiritn animel

- jesica is smart and beautiful she needs t os stop being jealous and petty know ya wotht girlie you got itl

- I SWEAR WHEN IGET MARRIED OSMEDAY IF ANYONE GIVES A SPEECH LIKE THIS I WILL PERSONALLY DRAGT HER ASS OUT.

- edwar lves her so much fck im all alone\

- how haoph hacob is when they hig i hate canonn they were best friends fc,

- jacob stay the fck outta her sex life she;s been wanting this for ad dman year fkc steohe let them jsut befriend

- steh is so swert but e is a chidl fck the is reacist plot bulshit

- CHARLIE DESEVRD BETTR FCK THIS PLOT FOR REAL I HAE CANON

- bela looks os ad she knows it’s goodbye but edward’s family is all smiling because they have her now hwat fthe ckc

- jac0bs cryng my heart brke

- i love bineg dunk 

- the scene isn rio is my faorite isn any of the movies eveyrhting looks warm and happy

- this bich can drive ab oat too damn he can just fod evryhin cant he

- CARLISLE BOUGHT A WHOEL DAMN ISALND FOR HIS WIFE AND I CANT ECVE GET A TEXT BACK? 

- deis this honeymon scene make anuone else unconmfy becuae same

- marying a vampire would be horrying af but also hot af and good af becuase htye oculd love so much and protect you from everythign fck 1-/10 woukd efeel safe

- bwll gaving a panic attakc ism e anyt tinme i try talking to an attractive man

- slepeign at last fckign ti up agin bit ch theis m yshit 

- when he said it was the best night i cred 

- tstoehe added the chess game like this shit is a hoje but i would love to play chess on my honemodn idk how uut  i want a man to each me but not mansplin

- WHY THE FUCJ AR THEY SO CTE ON THIS AMN HONEYMOON?

- i know i sadn it was horryig but i want a hotass vamp emo boi husband plas 

- damn jacob is being too emo she aint really gonan be ded for ever youll see her agianb itch

- ‘CULLENS ARE NOT A DNAGER TO THE TOWN OR TRUBE” BITCH IB EG TO FUCKIN DIFFER THIS SHIT BIOLOGICAL WARDARE RACIST ASS STPEHEN WRITING THIS FUCKING BULLTSIT

- ‘NONE OF THEM BELONG TO THEMSEVLES ANYGMROE” - SOMEONE SAID IT BITCH THSI SHIT IS FUCKRE IP

- i fucking hates these vamp racist bitches but i want a nonracist va,p husband bitch thus hot afck

- how tf does she not know shes rpegr yet eatin this weid ass shit?

- THESE FKERS BEEN AROUND FOR CENTURIES TLAKING BOU IDK IF ITS VEEN POSSIBEL BTICH YU SHOULD FUCKUGN KNO BY NOW

- ROVERT SPOEAKIN G PORTGUEVE IS SO KING ATRACTIV

- poor bella her life chaned so uqick and she[s soc scared fck dcnaon

- POOR CHARLIE I HATE THIS HE DESERVES TO BE LOVED AND TURTH TOLD

- ROSALEI IS THE EST 

- “YOU LOOK TERRBLE’ THIS IS THE FRIENDHSOP WE WANT WHYT THE FCK DOES FOPSTHE RUIN EALL THIS SHIT

- CARLISE IS FUNCIGJ HOT

- LIRALY BITCH I JUST WNAT A PURE FIRENDHSIP WUTH JACOB AND BELLA ITS WHAT THEY DESERVE FJC CAON

 - this montage is turopy a f when youre drunk waht the helc por jake thugh

- im sorry but i;n laughign my ass off at these fuckugn wolf vocie overs lmaoooo this shit hilarious

- SETH HAS SUCH A PURE HEART WHTY TF DID SPTEHEH RUIB HUS FUCJING CHILDHOOD BULTHIST

- WHY IS EVEYRIJE BSUCG AFUCKUGN BUTCG TO LEAH???? SHE DESEVRED THE FUCKING WORLD STPEHEN IS A RACISHT BITCHHHHHH

- calisbe is fos unicngn hot

- i just reaized robert is like the best fuckugn actor like this diolaguge is wha k as fuck btu he’s acitng all emo boi oscar worhty shti

- they realy had her fuckin drink blodo i hate cannjnonnn

- ifelel the same as kaje watchign this 

- but carlisle’s prety face made it all fuckig hetter

- FUCKRT HIS SHTI CHARLIE DESERVED BETTER HE’S THE BEST DAD FCK CANO NFUCK STEPRHNE 

- okay ut id is cute as fkc whe nedward hears the baby 

- esme and calrisle wilougn to risk their lives for bella i cryi

- fkc i really do hate cnaon because jake is acting liek an adult now and trying to do the honrble thig bue he should be a hpaoy chidl 

-  resnemsien is a ficking ridjcils name and we all fuckj nnew

- i ahte this part i’n bot even wathcing this shit rgros me rout 

- WHY THDID FUCK DID THIS BITCH HAVE A FUKCUNG SYRINGE OG VENOM LAYING AORUND? HOE!?!?!

- literlaiy fuick the dynamics of this whole moty hfknfucjg storyline plot bitch

- LEAH AND STHE DESERVERD BETTER

- SO DID JACOB

- SO DID ALL THE WOLFPAKC STPEHEN IS A RACIST AS SHOE

- aw hell here the fucks we hgo with theu ickgn im************** bulshit i ghate cnaojn canon can suck ad ick

- YES BILLY DEFEND YOUR CHIDL 

- rosalie is literally perfect when cnai b ehr 

- im real glad im drunk rin now because ioculd nto sit throguh this shit sober

- imp&******* is the worst plotline fkc]

- bit iamgiben falling alseo lookin gsick and waking up fhot as uck goals

- this sogn making me cry literlalu imcruing ims o alone lmao

- rheye really ended htoe move wirh red eyws lmaoooo

- hodl the fick up a damn minute stpeehebn producre htis cufkcng shit?

- now heres the hoes iv’ve been waiting on burnt the monarch fuckwits i hate thes epompis fuckers

- OVERTURBR THESE FUCKSERS THEY HAVE TIOO MUCH POWR 

CARLISR COULD FUCKING D OI T I HATE CNAON BRING THE VAMPIRE DECONOARCY

- OOHG BRUNNO MARS BRINGNG THE FUCKING SIMPSSHOES ANTHM I NEEDLOVE IT

[jewpacabruhs]

Hi I read your recent post about Liane but I have a question about your post. You said abusers don’t deserve sympathy, even if they were abused themselves....but didn’t Cartman abuse Heidi and multiple others? Why should he be forgiven but not other abusers?

context bruh. i was talking about sexual abuse (csa in particular). that sort of abuse and emotional abuse are wildly wildly different - emotional abuse can be just as damaging, but i don’t think cartman’s actions have impacted anyone severely or ruined any lives (except maybe that therapist who’s wife killed herself, and the shit-eating nanny from tsst ssfdjfkhsd i shouldnt keysmash abt tht but it was played for shock value slash laughs so) - whereas the abuse cartman’s endured has shaped him into the person he is, and will forever impact the way he goes about relationships. 

although actually, i take that back a lil; i think butters has been severely affected by the way cartman’s treated him. all the kids treat him bad, but cartman saw vulnerability and singled him out, which is reminiscent of abuse… but it’s, dare i say, hardly consistent enough to be? i think emotional abuse takes emotional investment, and they’re too young for that. like, i don’t wanna try to say abuse has to fall into a certain box, but… actually, yanno what, i retract that. i’m pulling that out of my ass. in this specific situation, yes, i think cartman’s abused butters. i can’t justify it or defend him. cartman’s consistently cruel to him, butters is consistently hurt by cartman’s behavior, there’s a stark power imbalance; yes, that is abuse. so he should be held accountable for that. but even then i think the primary culprits in who’s fucking butters up most are his parents. his classmates made him feel alienated, unliked, and unwanted, and cartman’s made him feel like a useless door mat, and that’s an awful awful traumatic feeling, too - especially paired with a bad home life. but his parents are the ones doing more severe psychological harm, in my opinion.

butters’ arc is actually reminiscent of cartman’s; naive kid is neglected/abused at home, then picked on for something petty at school, possibly singled out by another child (and then,,, becoming infatuated with that child, holy shit), to the point of taking on an antagonistic stance against the world & becoming hostile, even pushing people away for fear of being hurt, or, in cartman’s case, annoyed or burdened by their needs and wants. (it’s also noticeable that everyone treated cartman bad, but especially kyle, until he became the cartman we know now, and now everyone treats butters bad, but especially cartman, and now he’s become this form of butters. it’s a cycle… always is.) and people hate both cartman and butters for their behavior, and it’s fine to dislike a character, but taking their trauma into account while criticizing them is essential. it’s crazy - that cycle’s already starting among these children, yanno? cartman got broke, then helped start to break butters, and g-d knows what butters could do next. abuse and all the lives it affects is fucked up man, sp removed.

anyway. but heidi? we haven’t seen too much of her, but i think she kept her base personality. she’s not jaded. in fic you could write her as being more seriously affected, but in canon, next to other canon abuse victims, she’s not showing symptoms and there’s no focus on it. that doesn’t invalidate her experiences, but i just,,, don’t think it’s on par. same with kyle, who i’ll reaffirm a hundred times over isn’t abused by cartman; they have a mutually toxic relationship that kyle actually instigated in the early seasons, and none of cartman’s behavior towards kyle is traditional abuse. an unhealthy obsession, sure, and there’s some codependency too, but i don’t think it’s wearing down at kyle’s perceptions, impacting his self esteem, or changing his personality for the worst. in my opinion, the worst thing cartman’s done to kyle is push him to question judaism and be ashamed of that aspect of his identity, but kyle’s done the same thing, by attacking cartman’s weight, intelligence, and his mom’s profession. those things aren’t the same as being teased for being jewish, but cartman looked for an easy target - kyle’s identity and his mom, which are both things he’s extremely defensive of and invested in. it was, frankly, retaliation, and now they’re stuck in an unhealthy loop, but it’s still not abuse. though kyle (and to a lesser extent, stan) in early seasons absolutely abused cartman, and no one holds kyle accountable for that. 

tldr, there’s a stark difference between liane’s grown ass enabling the sexual abuse and exploitation of her child, and that abused child (who’s ten years old) lashing out emotionally towards his friends because he doesn’t know any better, wants to make others suffer like he has, and doesn’t understand the consequences of his actions. cartman could easily turn into an abusive monster, but he has time to change (in fanon, of course), with professional help. but liane’s already fucked him up, she squashed his potential and set him on a bad path, and thus, cartman’s actions are her fault, 100%. dang ol,,,, blood on her hands, man.

[serenagaywaterford]

Here's the thing:

If I wanted to watch something "real" about how bad people never change and that's just how things are, I'd talk to my family, go on Facebook, walk down the street, turn on the news, pick up a history book, log onto tumblr...

Reality is chock full of depressing, awful stories of bad people who never change, never try to do better, never learn anything, and spend their whole lives fucking other people over. Like, I get it. It's everywhere.

The thing is The Handmaids Tale ain't a fucking documentary! It's a fictional TV show that draws from elements of history and current events. That doesn't mean every single character must be "real".

"Well, in real life, someone like Serena wouldn't change."

Yo.

Newsflash.

This is TV.

In reality, June would be DEAD. How about that reality check? She woulda been executed a long time ago. Janine would be dead. Emily would be dead. Rita would be dead. Nick would be dead. Aunt Lydia would be dead. Hell, Serena and Fred would probably be dead too.

In reality, if Emily even survived to 2x13, Nichole would be DEAD. They both would have died in that river.

In reality, Moira and Luke would be fucking miserable in some tent city refugee hellhole, not a beautiful spacious apartment in downtown Toronto. In reality, Canada would be a fucking mess too.

In reality, nothing past S1 would have happened.

In reality, Serena would never have done anything she did in 2x07/2x08, she wouldn’t have been affected by Eden’s death, she wouldn’t have read from the Bible, she wouldn’t have given Nichole away.

In reality, June would never think she could lead a full scale revolution. Are you fucking kidding me?

In reality, not a single Martha would give a fuck what she has to say. And Lawrence sure wouldn't.

In reality, Hannah would live and die in Gilead. So, like, why are any of you hoping she'll make it out? That's not reality!

In reality a system like Gilead would have fallen apart already (cos the world-building kinda sucks, I'm sorry.)

Do we really want to play the "but in reality" game? With a fictional TV show that is already bordering on soap opera?

Look, I am the queen of giving Serena more credit than she deserves. I know that. I'll admit it. (I actually think her motives in 3x05 are deeper than it seems but that's another story.) I also know people like her "in reality" often (usually) stay horrible forever. These are both things that generally are true.

BUT

I do not want to watch a TV show that is "real". We literally don’t need that right now. We have the real world for that. I want to watch a show like this to give me hope. That hope may be hard earned, it make come with frustration, it may even come with some anger along the way... but that's exactly it: it's a journey. There are paths where characters who are given significant prominence and screentime should follow. They should have some sort of movement. Maybe they stumble along the path, maybe they try to run back, maybe they take the long way, maybe they fuck up along the way, but they are meant to be going SOMEWHERE. Somewhere different than where they began.

That is the entire point of storytelling. Am I wrong?

The problem with Serena is precisely that as arguably the second lead character behind June, she hasn't fucking moved in 3 seasons. Main characters should have movement. But nope. None for Serena. Why? Because they keep setting her up along a path, only to fucking tear up the road in front of her for plot twists and shock and oooooh the contrived drama!!!

And yet, all these other characters are doing completely unrealistic things almost constantly (June, darling, I'm looking at you.) and that is just fine. Why is Serena the only character that were supposed to hold to some strange "but in reality!" standard?

I want a show about women that actually DESTROYS harmful stereotypes about women. I don’t want one that upholds the tools that maintain patriarchy. I don’t want the same tired tropes and cliches.

I want hope that even the worst people can change if given the tools.

I want to see women breaking down the systems of oppression that isolate them, including those of their own design. I want to see women of privilege recognizing their role in the oppression of others, understanding that, taking deliberate action to rectify and support those women they kept down. I want then to feel shame and change.

Isn't that the whole point of callout culture? Of protesting? Of education? To change people, even the shitty ones! That's the sort of thing I want in my depressing, dystopian fiction. That's inspiring.

Otherwise, what's the point in anything at all? If people can't and don't change, why not just kill all the people you don't agree with and that's that?

I want angry women, sad women, troubled women, supportive women, difficult women, but ultimately women that face down a system and destroy the motherfucker. Together.

What I don’t need is a reality check, thanks.

I don’t need to be reminded that bad people exist. There are PLENTY of those to choose from on THT. That is what my TV already does. Why can't we have one female character of privilege, one shitty woman who is a MAIN CHARACTER and thus able to be given the screen time, one awful woman go through change for the better?

"That's not real!"

Fuck "real". I'm not saying she has to become a hero. I'm not saying she should ride off into the sunset absolved of all her guilt and crimes. I'm not even saying give her a full redemption arc. I'm not saying she shouldn't suffer intensely.

I'm saying we don't need another story about a rich white woman who is horrible and never fucking changes. In a story where the system itself (and the ideology behind it) is the true villain of the story, where you have a council of men in power keeping it going, what's the issue with using Serena to explore the women that both are victims of it and benefit from it? All that dissonance!!! All the psychological shit that they dipped their toes into before! That's some juicy shit right there. Mmmm. There are more than enough bad guys to choose from.

Right now that conversation has been effectively killed. There's no complexity, there's nothing important being said. It's a cookie-cutter evil lady vs good lady soap opera fairytale. Who the fuck wants that basic shit except children?!

Ugh.

I am just so sick of this show thinking it's so progressive when it just pulls out the same worn out tropes, and sexist ones at that, over and over.

Sorry, THT, you're not saying anything of relevance anymore. You can give June all the cussword-laden voiceovers with Moss' meme-level closeup Anger Face and fade into 80s pop music all you want, but you're not inspiring anyone by not writing actual hope for change into these stories. Because you're not addressing what casual viewers want to see in their fictional TV shows.

"Tee hee! All the stupid viewers thought Serena was actually changing?! WHAT DELUSIONAL LOSERS! Let's just rehash the same shock value tricks we keep doing every season! Yes, we are doing groundbreaking TV, lads!"

And please do not give me that "but in reality!" argument when June Osborne still exists.

Telling us, "Well, people suck. You'll never be able to be allies with other women in power, because nobody every fucking changes. Don't even bother cos look what happens." is not helpful.

Bish, please.

WHAT A FUCKING WASTE OF MY TIME THIS SHOW IS.