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callmebrycelee · 1 year

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9-1-1: LONE STAR REACTION

This reaction is for season 4, sixteenth episode "A House Divided" which originally aired on May 9, 2023. The episode was written by Matt Solik and directed by Tessa Blake. Spoilers ahead!

We begin the episode in the hospital. Thankfully it's not Owen or TK but it is another Strand. Robert Strand (Chad Lowe) has cut his hand while slicing open a bagel. Robert laments the tremor he has in his hand and tells Owen he is running out of excuses for not being able to play catch with his daughter. Robert still hasn't told his daughters about his diagnosis because he doesn't want to blow up their world. Owen admits he kept his lung cancer diagnosis from TK in the beginning. He tells Robert that he thought he was going to die but after several rounds of chemo and surgery he is still alive. Robert says that Huntington's is not cancer. There's no chemo or treatment for it. He describes it as a vicious, unrelenting descent to the end. He then tells Owen he and his wife are already making preparations for what's to come. Robert encourages Owen to check to see if he has the gene.

Title card! Wow! I haven't written that in a while.

Our first emergency of the episode involves a yard sale. Vic (Michael McMilian) and Clara (Ellie Araiza) are a divorced couple who are attempting to sell their things much to the disapproval of their adorable son, Quincy (Lincoln Bodin). We see Quincy talking to a creepy dude and then he is gone. Vic and Clara are freaking out and my first thought was that the creepy dude walked off with him. Clara dials 9-1-1 and Carlos arrives on the scene. Thankfully Quincy is still in the yard, in an old armoire, but due to it being super hot outside, he is unresponsive. Grace coaches Carlos on how to revive Quincy. Carlos goes over to Checkov's lemonade stand and pours a pitcher of ice cold lemonade onto Quincy which wakes him up. Quincy tells his parents he hid in the armoire because he doesn't want to leave.

Owen heads over to TK and Carlos' apartment and tells his son that Robert was diagnosed with Huntington's a month ago. TK says he didn't notice any symptoms when they had dinner together. Owen tells him that Robert hides his tremors and cognitive issues well but they are progressing. TK is confused because Robert drove himself halfway across the country to visit them both in Texas. Owen says he is planning on taking some time off from the firehouse so he can drive Robert back to California. While he is gone, Judd will be in charge of the 126.

TK points out that Huntington's disease is hereditary and asks Owen if Robert knows which of his parents carries the gene. Owen tells TK that the gene was passed down from Owen and Robert's dad - TK's grandfather. TK connects the dots that if Robert has the disease then there's a chance he and Owen may wind up with it. TK is overwhelmed by this news and wonders if he should postpone the wedding. Owen encourages him to keep on living his life. TK tells him there's no way he can marry Carlos with a death sentence hanging over his head. Owen reminds him that everyone has a death sentence hanging over their head. He tells TK that he just got tested and he will have the results in 48 hours. If it turns out he doesn't have the gene then TK will definitely not have it. TK tells Owen he could've waited for a negative result and then never have said anything but Owen says he is done hiding things from him. He tells TK that he needs him just as much as TK needs him.

We head over to the Ryders' residence and see a game of charades already in progress. This reminded me of the scene in season two where Grace and Judd, Tommy and Charles, and Owen and Gwyn were playing charades. This time around we have Grace and Judd, Tommy and Trevor Parks (DB Woodside) and Wyatt (Jackson Pace) and his girlfriend, Leigh Ann (Jessi Case). Trevor asks Wyatt about joining the fire academy and the latter tries to downplay how things are going. Leigh Ann pipes up and tells the room that everything is going well. Judd brags about Wyatt's ladder drill time which is 5 minutes and 29 seconds. He says that when he was in the academy the fastest time was 5 minutes and 50 seconds. Wyatt continues to be modest about his accomplishments but Leigh Ann tells everyone that he's been getting calls from captains in the area trying to recruit him. This scene was so cute because Judd is clearly so proud of Wyatt. Side note: Judd looked hot as hell in the glasses he was wearing. End of side note. Wyatt mentions that when he graduates he's been invited to join the 122 or the 124. Tommy says he should consider working for Captain Ryder at the 126. Judd shrugs off the compliment and says he is only acting captain while Owen is away. Judd admits that every time he is left in charge of the 126, he's always worried things are going to crash and burn. Tommy says the house couldn't be in better hands and reminds him that he's an excellent captain.

Trevor gets a notification on his phone about a table opening up at a really fancy, hard-to-get-into restaurant and asks if he should make a reservation. The others tell him to make a reservation and plans are made to have dinner together the following Thursday. Wyatt and Leigh Ann will babysit Baby Charlie.

Our second emergency of the episode involves a fire at a paper mill. Judd is acting as captain and gives out orders. He sends Marjan, Mateo, and Paul inside the building to search for people. Tommy, Nancy, and TK arrive on the scene and set up triage in the parking lot. A woman comes up to TOmmy and tells her that her friend Jimmy is trapped inside of a machine inside the burning building. Tommy radios Judd to tell her she, Nancy, and TK are heading inside to check on the man and Judd tells her to be careful. Tommy, Nancy and TK locate Jimmy and they see that his arm is trapped. Jimmy's heart is racing and he is barely clinging to consciousness. Tommy radios Judd and tells him Jimmy is bleeding internally and asks for an ETA on when additional help arrives. Judd tells her he is still waiting on the 129. Meanwhile, Marjan hears one of the machines inside the mill making noises and radios to Judd. He tells her that it's probably chemicals and commands her, Mateo, and Paul to exit the building. Judd sends out a may day for everyone to evacuate.

Tommy orders Nancy and TK to evacuate. Judd asks them where Tommy is and TK tells him she's still inside with the patient. Nancy tells him that the patient is stuck in a machine and Tommy needs help with extrication. Judd radios Tommy and tells her he gave the evacuation order and she needs to get out of the building. Tommy says she has a pulse on the patient. Judd places Marjan in charge and heads inside the building. Judd takes an axe and uses it to cut off the man's arm and he carries him out of the building with Tommy on his heels. The mill explodes moments later.

Back at the house, things are pretty frosty between both captains. Judd approaches Tommy and asks if she wants to talk about what happened at the paper mill. Tommy says there's nothing to talk about. Yes she lost someone in the field but it's something that happens. Judd clarifies that he's asking her about her disregard for his direct order to evacuate. Tommy says she heard his order but she chose to not follow it because she was trying to save Jimmy's life. Judd informs her that he has an after action report to fill out and he doesn't know what to document. Tommy encourages him to document what actually happened. Judd tells her he feels uncomfortable documenting what really happened due to their friendship. He then says he doesn't want to pull rank but Tommy reminds him they have the same rank. Tommy reminds him that as fire captain he gets to call the shots on how to best put out a fire and as paramedic captain she gets to decide what is the best way to treat an injured patient. Judd says that sometimes those two things don't always align and on their call he was the incident commander, therefore it was his duty to protect everyone in the paper mill. Tommy says it's her duty to protect her patients and she was not going to leave Jimmy to die. Judd reminds her that Jimmy did die and that it's by the grace of God that they didn't die along with him. Tommy tells Judd that she didn't ask for him to come into the paper mill. She then asks if he would like an apology from her. Judd tells her he ain't looking for an apology. What he is looking for is the assurance that something like that isn't going to happen on a future call. Tommy says she cannot predict the future. Judd flips the script and says that he can't predict the future either, however, he would like the confidence to know that the mother of his goddaughters is going to make it home - especially since they just lost their father. Tommy is clearly rattled by hearing this and tells Judd he doesn't get to use that against her. She tells him she is done with their conversation and gets up and leaves.

Carlos gets home from his shift and finds TK still awake. TK tells him that he can't sleep and when Carlos presses him about it, TK tells him that things are not okay. He tells Carlos about his uncle Robert's Huntington disease diagnosis and how it's hereditary. Carlos points out that Robert and Owen are only half-brothers but TK tells him that it comes from his grandfather's side. Carlos takes in this news and asks if there's a way to test for it. TK tells him that Owen is currently waiting for the results. If Owen doesn't have it, TK is in the clear. Carlos asks about the potential symptoms associated with Huntington's and TK says aside from all of the cognitive issues, there will be struggles with walking, eating, talking, and breathing. Everything starts shutting down. Carlos says it's a LOT to process and TK agrees. TK tells Carlos he has zero expectations and he doesn't want this to be a death sentence for both of them. Carlos asks what he means and TK tells him he doesn't expect Carlos to go through with the wedding. He doesn't want to be a burden on Carlos. Carlos reminds about the whole 'in sickness and in health' part of their marriage vows but TK is unconvinced. He is worried that he'll end up forgetting who Carlos is. Carlos says that he'll just have to remind him every day. Carlos tells TK that they are soulmates which is the first time he has said this out loud. Carlos assures TK that he will not run away.

Asha Fulton (Amanda Payton) arrives at the firehouse and Nancy assumes she is there to see Paul. She is actually there to see Captain Vega. Asha goes to Tommy's office and talks to her about the incident at the paper mill fire. She asks Tommy if she recalls an order being given to evacuate the building and Tommy says she does. While Tommy is questioned, she sees Judd and it is very evident things are not good between these two. Trevor arrives at Tommy's house to pick her up for their double dinner date with Judd and Grace. Tommy is not dressed and tells Trevor they should cancel their dinner plans. Trevor insists they cannot cancel their reservation because it was a miracle he got the reservation in the first place. Tommy tells Trevor she can't break bread with a snitch, the snitch being Judd Ryder. She goes on to explain that Judd called HR on her due to the two of them having a difference of opinion. That's the understatement of the century, haha.

Meanwhile, Judd is having a similar conversation with Grace who is looking absolutely stunning. Grace believes her husband may have overreacted when he reported Tommy but he insists he didn't want to get HR involved. Judd says that since he has been trusted with the responsibility of being captain in the absence of Owen, he wants to make sure he is following the rules. Grace tells Judd he needs to get dressed but like Tommy, he is not in the mood to dine out.

Back at Tommy's place, Trevor is practically begging her to get dressed so they can go out but Tommy is being stubborn. He starts quoting Proverbs to her but Tommy tells him to not get biblical on her. Grace is also quoting scripture to Judd. Neither Grace nor Trevor seem to be getting through to their partners. Eventually Tommy and Judd acquiesce to going to dinner. The scene at the restaurant is one of the funniest scenes of the show. Things between Judd and Tommy get worse when their respective partners try to play mediator. Before long, Grace and Trevor are sniping back and forth at each other while Judd and Tommy watch in horror. Eventually both couples are thrown out of the fancy restaurants and things between our two captains are no better than what they were before they all sat down to break bread together.

The next day at the house, it's the paramedics versus the firefighters. Judd and Tommy's feud has trickled down to their subordinates and now the whole family is at odds. I'd just like to point out that nothing like this has ever happened when Owen Strand was in charge. Just saying. Tommy breaks up the bickering between Nancy, TK, Mateo, Marjan and Paul and reminds them that even though they are two teams, they are one family. Judd goes to talk to Tommy and tells her he appreciates what she said. Tommy tells him that everything she said was true. Judd says that even though there were some things said the night before, the only thing that matters is that they love and respect each other. Tommy tells him that's never changed. Judd asks if he and Tommy are good and she says they've always been good. Tommy tells him she's made arrangements so that her paramedics will work an opposite shift from the firefighters until Owen gets back.

In our final emergency scene of the episode, the 126 paramedics respond to a call where someone has been hit while riding a bicycle. When Tommy, Nancy, and TK arrive at the scene, they discover the victim is Wyatt. Judd arrives at the hospital and asks Tommy where Wyatt is. She tells him that Wyatt is in surgery. She also lets Judd know that Wyatt has some brain swelling and several broken vertebrae but he has the best spinal cord surgeon in Austin working on him. Judd starts to fall apart and Tommy reminds him that Wyatt is alive and that his vitals are strong. Judd asks Tommy to shoot straight with him. He asks her how bad it is and she tells him she doesn't know. She tells him that they will have to wait and see and that she will wait for him.

TK gets a call from his dad who is at the beach with Robert and his family in California. He tells TK that he got the results back from the clinic and he is negative for the Huntington gene which means TK is also in the clear. TK is relieved and Owen tells him he should celebrate. TK tells him he should celebrate as well. Owen tells him that Robert's having a barbecue for him for his last night in California.

In the final scene of the episode, Owen and Robert are sitting on a bench at the beach. Owen notices Robert has a tremor in his left land which means his Huntington's symptoms are getting worse. He asks Robert how long he plans on keeping his diagnosis a secret from his wife and kids and Robert says he will tell him soon. Owen says the problem with soon is that eventually it becomes later. He tells Robert not to do what he did when he kept TK in the dark about his cancer diagnosis. Robert says he will tell them tomorrow after Owen leaves to head back to Texas. He says he promises they will know before TK's wedding. Owen is surprised to hear that Robert is still coming. Robert says he will bring his wife and his daughters because he wants them to meet his family.

Robert says he has a favor to ask of Owen. He says that he plans on staying in Texas after the wedding so he can spend some more time with Owen. Owen says he thinks that will be great but he doesn't think he'll be able to drive him back to California afterwards. Robert says he won't have to drive him back because he doesn't plan on coming back to California. He then asks Owen to help him die. End of episode.

Whoa! This episode was way intense and I enjoyed every moment of it. I love the beef between Judd and Tommy. We've never seen these two be at odds before and it was fun seeing them going toe-to-toe. The interesting part about their disagreement is that I saw both sides. I totally got where Judd was coming from. At the end of the day, he knows what it's like to lose someone on the team and he doesn't want to see that happen to anyone on the 126. However, Tommy's job is to save people, even if it means putting her own life in harm's way. I'm glad these two are back to being friends again. I just hate that it took something bad happening for that to happen.

The plot involving Owen and his brother, Robert, was also well done. It sucks that Owen lost his brother when he was really young and now he's about to lose his other brother. This is all coming so close on the heels of him losing Gwyn. Both Owen and TK have endured so much loss on this show and this seems so unfair but it does make for great storytelling. I truly wonder if Owen is going to be able to help his brother end his life. It's even more messed up when you realize that Owen wasn't able to save his brother Tyler and he won't be able to save his brother Robert and his whole life is dedicated to rescuing people. Ugh! I feel really bad for Owen. Well, I guess we'll have to wait to see what he decides to do. Until next time!

#911 lone star reaction #911 lone star reaction 2023 #tv reaction #tv reaction 2023 #blw reactions #blw reactions 2023 #911 lone star #fox 911 lone star #911 ls 4x16 #911 ls s4 #rob lowe #chad lowe #sierra mcclain #gina torres #jim parrack #jackson pace #db woodside #ronen rubinstein #rafael l silva

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chaotictarlos · 2 years

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So this if from a new fic I started for the angst bingo I got. It kind of follows along with canon and different things happen at the same time and in the same order but it'll take different turns. I don't have a title for this fic yet but I hope you guys like it! Let me know what you think!

↬❦︎☀︎︎❦︎☀︎︎↫

TK steps out of the rehab place, a small bag of his belongings over his shoulder as his eyes scanned the parking lot looking for his fathers truck. When he spots it he makes his way over and gets into the passenger seat, a small nod to his father but no words are exchanged. There was nothing that either of them could say that they hadn’t said before in similar circumstances.

TK buckles his seatbelt and stares out the window, wanting nothing more than to get back to his apartment and hide away from the world for a while. He was sure that news had spread about his relapse and that people would have questions or just things to say and he didn’t want to hear or deal with any of it. He was tired. He needed to grieve the loss of his relationship, the loss of his sobriety, and then work hard to get back on his feet. At least with rehab he was four months sober and had been able to explore some of the things that he was feeling.

He’s so caught up in his thoughts, thinking about what his next steps were after he adjusts to being out of rehab again that he almost misses his father taking a turn that definitely wouldn’t lead them back to his apartment.

“Dad, this isn’t the way to my apartment.” TK says. “You need to go the other way.”

“I’m not taking you to your apartment.” Owen says.

TK turns and looks at him. “What? Then where are you taking me? I’m not staying with you. I did my time in rehab, I’m going to be okay.”

“TK, New York isn’t good for you and I think we need to get away from it,” Owen says. “I accepted a job in Texas rebuilding their fire station and while you were in rehab I did just that. There’s an entire new crew and you were transferred there to join me. You’ll like the 126.”

“Do I even get a say in any of this?” TK asks, crossing his arms and huffing.

“No, you don’t.”

TK rolls his eyes, knowing the move is a bit childish but his dad was treating him like a child that couldn’t make decisions and turns to look out the window.

“You might like this now but the change will be good for you.”

TK let his bag drop to the floor and looked around his new room. Apparently he wasn’t allowed to live by himself in the new city he had been forced to relocate to. It was frustrating and made TK feel like he was a child again. He didn’t like that his entire life was uprooted and relocated while he was in rehab and fighting to get ahold of his mind and stop itching for a fix. While he was struggling, his father was making decisions for his life without including him in them.

Where anyone thought that would be helpful, TK didn’t know. Not letting him be involved in decisions that had to do with his life made him feel out of control and TK didn’t like that. In the past when he felt out of control it would prompt him to want to use, and would send him to find an alley and some Oxy. Now, he was trying to resist that urge and tell himself that it was okay. Everything would be okay.

It was a lot easier to say those words than to believe it.

Nobody has permission to save, translate, repost, upload, or do anything with my fics. My fics are only posted on AO3, if you see them on any other site such as wattpad please let me know. This story was written for an adult audience and is intended for adult consumption. If you are under the age of 18, you should not be reading this story.

#t's wip wednesday #wip wednesday #tarlos #tk strand #carlos reyes

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marjansmarwani · 4 years

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trust that there will be light always waiting behind

8.4k || ao3

TK has gone out of his way to prove to Carlos that being a paramedic is every bit as dangerous as being a firefighter, it seems.

But Carlos will do whatever it takes to find him and bring him home safe, and he always will. Even if it means he needs to face some personal demons on the way. But it's worth it - he refuses to lose TK for anything. ------ A 2x08 speculative fic

All the kudos and thanks to @officereyes for not only convincing me to actually write this but for also brainstorming with me, a lot.

Will it happen like this? Probably not. But we can dream. All I can ask for is some quality Carlos and his dad content, and maybe Owen not being as shitty as he has been lately. But because I don't trust Fox to give us that, I wrote it.

Title from "Six" by Sleeping at Last

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TK wasn’t sure how things had gone from normal to total nightmare in a matter of seconds, but here they were.

In this case “here” meant that the pregnant woman they were meant to be helping was not in fact, pregnant and that he and his team were now being held at gunpoint in an empty parking garage.

So yeah, total nightmare. And the day had started off so well.

He stood quietly, body tense with his hands up wishing he had been paying more attention; that he had noticed them coming from behind before they had gotten the drop on them. That he had noticed before he and his team were in danger. But he hadn’t and here they were: at gunpoint looking at a critically injured patient they were expected to save with only the gear in their medpacks. Which was especially bad, considering it seemed pretty clear that their survival depended on his.

He exchanged a glance with Nancy as he pulled open the bag to start grabbing gear, doing his best to shoot her a reassuring smile. All the while he couldn’t help but think about something Carlos had said when he had discussed becoming a paramedic with him. One of the pros, he had noted wryly as he planted a kiss on the top of TK’s head, was that at least his boyfriend being a paramedic instead of a firefighter would mean he would have to worry less. TK had rolled his eyes at the time but now he could say quite firmly that Carlos was wrong.

After all, he had never been held at gunpoint as a firefighter.

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A surprise party worked best when the person who is supposed to be surprised shows up, Carlos figured.

If it were anyone else, he might have been amused. But it was TK, who was supposed to be at his parent’s house for his surprise party 40 minutes ago. Tommy and Nancy were going to bring him by after shift but instead, none of them had shown up and Carlos couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong.

He could see the unease growing in the eyes of some of the others too as they made the transition from amused to concerned as the time ticked by. Carlos had tried calling TK almost a dozen times now, only to get his voicemail each time. He knew that Tommy and Nancy had gotten calls too, from Judd and Marjan respectively, with the same result. Now, 40 minutes later it had moved from a feeling to a fact: something was wrong. He could see Owen off to the side of the yard now, speaking lowly into his phone as he tried to get an update from dispatch. His expression was grim and when he ended the call Carlos crossed the yard towards him.

“Well?” he asked when he drew close enough, “what did they say?”

Owen shook his head, “They can’t reach the unit, and it hasn’t been in contact for over an hour.”

Carlos could feel the fear solidifying within him even as he asked the next question, “Were they able to tell you where?”

“I’m waiting on that info now.”

Even as he said it his phone dinged with an incoming text and Carlos craned his neck to read the address over Owen’s shoulder.

“That’s not too far,” he said, “if we leave now we should be there within the hour.” At Owen’s surprised look he raised an eyebrow, “What? You thought I was just going to stay here while you go look for them? Not likely.”

Owen nodded and managed a small smile, “Let’s go then. We have a paramedic team to find.”

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It took some negotiating but Tommy had managed to ultimately convince the people with guns that their friend would be better off receiving treatment in the ambulance rather than in the back of a van. As they packed up their supplies and got the patient ready to move to the ambulance TK’s mind was racing through all the implications. This move meant that they were planning on relocating, which meant that they would be leaving their last known location. Once they left this parking garage unless they were somehow able to check-in, dispatch would have no way of knowing where they were and they would be officially labeled as MIA.

Which was less than ideal, but did at least mean that someone would be looking for them. TK pushed the used gauze into a pile, taking care to make sure that his back was turned to their kidnappers as he reached for his neck and pulled at his necklace until the chain came undone. He slid it under the edge of the pile, where it would hopefully be spotted by anyone looking for clues. He looked up to see Nancy and Tommy both giving him curious looks. He met their eyes and mouthed, “Carlos.”

Once they were reported missing there was a zero percent chance that his boyfriend would not be involved in the search, he knew that without a doubt. It was subtle enough that it would hopefully pass their captors’ notice, but Carlos would recognize it instantly. It was something that would tell him that they had been here, and that they were in danger. Carlos would know that TK wouldn’t have parted with the pendant otherwise.

Nancy raised an eyebrow and Tommy shot him a quick smile as they finished their prep and got ready to move the patient. When they entered the ambulance and got the patient settled TK crossed to the cab and pulled himself into the driver’s seat, only to look down and get a sinking feeling. While traveling by ambulance would be ultimately better for the patient (and by extension, them) TK had also been banking on the fact that once in the ambulance there would be more opportunities to call for help.

Which was a hope quickly dashed when he saw that their radio had been ripped out, effectively eliminating the possibility of getting help that way. TK bit his lip and turned his eyes to the road in front of him as the armed man climbed into the cab beside him. “Drive,” he instructed plainly and TK complied, switching on the engine and shifting the vehicle into gear, acutely aware of the gun leveled at his chest the entire time. Getting shot was not an experience he had been looking forward to relieving ever again if he could help it.

“Where to?” he asked.

“Just drive and I direct you.”

TK nodded and slowly pulled forward, keeping his eyes trained on the road.

Maybe, just maybe these people were more reasonable than they seemed and maybe this wouldn’t end in disaster, TK thought to himself as he pulled out of the parking garage and headed to the right as instructed. They just need to keep everything calm until help arrived. Because it would, TK was sure of it.

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The ride there was filled with tense silence, their combined anxiety filling the car to capacity and leaving no room for words. Carlos kept an eye on the phone in his hand, the small blue dot tracing their location and showing their progress as they grew closer and closer to the destination flag. They were almost there. They would have answers soon, one way or another.

He spared a glance at Owen. The fire captain’s eyes were glued to the road and his hands gripped the steering wheel tightly, his knuckles shining white against the black upholstery. His jaw was set and his expression was full of a panic Carlos was sure was reflected in his own face. He wondered if Owen was thinking the same thing: things had been going so well. Possibly too well, and now the universe was looking to even the score. Carlos hated the thought — TK deserved all the good things the world had to offer, in his opinion — but it was one he couldn’t help but wonder. He just hoped that no matter what, TK would be okay. No matter what the universe was trying to throw at them as long as he was safe at the end, Carlos could take it.

Reaching the parking garage had been the easy part, it turned out. He and Owen drove the levels in tense silence, each scanning for any clues, any signs of the missing paramedics. It wasn’t until he saw a black panel van parked haphazardly that Carlos broke the tense silence: “Stop the car!”

Owen did and Carlos was out his door before the car had even lurched to a complete stop. He ran to the van, heart sinking as he noticed the back doors hanging open. He approached with increased trepidation, not sure what he was hoping to find. When he reached the back and got his first look inside the van, he was pretty sure this wasn’t it.

Bloody gauze and other medical scraps littered the ground, along with three broken cell phones, all of which seemed to have been smashed. Carlos could feel dread building in his gut as he surveyed the destruction. He sensed Owen come up behind him, heard the low curse he let out at the scene.

“There’s no saying any of the blood is theirs,” he reminded Carlos as if he could read the frantic thoughts racing through his mind, each possibility worse than the last.

Carlos bit back a retort — there was no good in reminding Owen that there was no saying it wasn’t either — and was about to ask another question when he noticed something silver poking out from under one of the gauze scraps. He leaned forward to grab it, heart sinking when he pulled it out to reveal a very familiar necklace.

“Maybe,” he told Owen as he turned, holding up the necklace while the FDNY pendant glinting in the low light of the parking garage, “but they were definitely here.”

Carlos hadn’t been sure it was possible but he was certain he saw the fear in Owen’s eyes grow as he took the necklace from Carlos, running his thumb over the numbers engraved in the pendant. “He left this as a clue,” he said quietly, and Carlos nodded.

“Which probably means they were taken somewhere else and TK wanted us to know they were here.”

Owen nodded, pulling his gaze up from the necklace to meet Carlos’s eyes, “We need to find them.”

His voice was tinged in desperation, a feeling Carlos knew well. He nodded and reached into his pocket, pulling out his phone as he took another look at the mess in the back of the van. “We will,” he told Owen, “and I think I know someone that can help.”

------

Their destination had turned out to be an abandoned restaurant, shuttered by the pandemic. As workspaces went it wasn’t a bad one, if a little dusty, and they got their patient set up on a prep table in no time, falling into their usual rhythm as they returned to this relative familiarity. TK was currently retrieving supplies from one of their cases and running through the situation in his head, separating it into pros and cons.

Pro: they had come here in an ambulance with their house number clearly painted on it in broad daylight. Once people started looking it shouldn’t be too hard to spot.

Con: they were deep into a neighborhood known for being an entertainment district. While traffic had decreased significantly overall since the start of the pandemic it was nearly non-existent this early in the day. The odds of a casual observer being in the neighborhood were slim to none, which was not a thought that brought much comfort.

The man shouted at him to hurry up and TK quickly added another con to his list as he grabbed the last thing and crossed back to the table: their kidnappers were not reasonable people and every moment that passed seemed to push them just that much closer to the edge. Even as he thought it the woman edged closer to Nancy, causing her to tense as the cold metal of the gun was pressed against her side.

“Hey,” he said firmly, “if you want us to save your friend, you need to let us work. That means you and your guns should be at least 6 feet away. It’s a little hard to focus otherwise.”

The woman glanced at the man, who was studying TK. TK met his gaze steadily, not looking away until the man nodded and turned to his companion, “Go wait by the door, just in case. They’re not going anywhere.”

She nodded and TK could breathe easier as she stepped away from Nancy, who visibly relaxed and shot TK a grateful look. Tommy eyed him quickly before returning her focus to the patient. “I appreciate what you’re doing, Strand, but in the future maybe let’s try to not antagonize the criminals with guns, yeah?”

TK nodded as he worked, “Sorry Cap, I just really don’t like guns. Chalk it up to bad personal experience.”

Nancy grimaced at the reminder and Tommy nodded, “Then let's keep this calm, no one needs to get shot today. I’m not losing another member of my crew, you both got that?”

“Yes Cap,” TK and Nancy chorused, lapsing into silence as they worked. Unfortunately, with their supplies, there was only so much they could do. They had had a busy morning before this call had come in and no time to restock in between. They were running low on pretty much everything, and everything they had would have hardly been enough to repair the damage before them on a good day. But, despite everything, he was still a patient and he was still in need of treatment so they did what they always did: everything they could.

Even as they worked TK made sure to keep one eye on their kidnappers. With each passing minute, they seemed to get more and more restless, and increasingly desperate. The woman even seemed twitchy and TK vaguely wondered if she was going through withdrawal. All the signs were there and if she was that made their situation even worse. TK knew how that felt first hand and knew what it could do to a person’s mental state. The idea that she might be coming down from a high and was currently pointing a gun at them was less than ideal and he mentally added it to his con list.

Surprisingly, she wasn’t the one to crack first. TK was helping Captain Vega to do what they could to clean and secure the entry wound when the man stepped closer, waving the gun around as he shouted, “What is taking so long? We’ve been here too long, we need to get moving!”

“Do you want it done right or do you want it done fast?” Tommy asked evenly, her voice calm and level.

The man scowled at that, but stepped away, “Just, go as fast as you can.”

TK watched him walk away, glancing at the clock above the door and cursing before running his free hand across his face, the hand holding the gun tapping against his leg.

“He’s spiraling Cap,” TK noted softly, “we might need a plan if you want to avoid that whole one of us getting shot thing.”

“And we’ll find one,” Tommy agreed, “but for now we stick with the original one: do our jobs and keep calm.”

TK nodded tersely and continued with the task at hand. It was only a few more moments before his Captain gave a soft curse and he looked over to see her scowling at the bag next to her. “We’re out of saline,” she said in answer to his questioning look, “can you go see if there is any more in that bag by the door?”

TK nodded and crossed the bag laying on the ground next to the door they had entered. As he grew closer he noticed that the bag wasn’t the only thing by the door: a fire alarm, bright red against the white of the walls and shining like a beacon of hope as he drew closer, was situated on the wall just past the bag. If he could reach it and pull it, dispatch would be notified. A fire company and at least one APD unit would be called and the alarm might be enough of a distraction for them to get out of here and get somewhere safe until help arrived. He threw a quick glance over his shoulder to see that the two armed assailants were not watching him and made up his mind. He was going to pull it, and hope for the best. If it doesn’t work it’ll have been his idea and his idea alone — the rest of his team doesn't need to be involved in this. This was a stupid choice he could make for himself and by himself.

He stepped forward, hardly daring to breathe as he drew closer. He was just about to reach out his hand when he heard footsteps behind him, loud and fast. He turned in time to see a hand reaching for him, aiming to strike him with the side of the gun. He ducked, the hand missing his target as he dodged the blow. The man came for him again and TK managed to dodge the next blow as well, and the one after that.

They moved away from the wall and TK had the frantic thought that maybe he could get the gun away from him, maybe he could actually get the upper hand. He reached for it, throwing himself into the man’s space and reaching around for his arm. He leaned closer, so intent on his goal that he didn’t notice the man rummaging on the nearby shelf with his free hand. He didn’t notice his other hand at all until a sharp pain ripped through his side, causing him to release his grip on the other man involuntarily. He stumbled back, hands reaching blindly to the source of the pain coursing through his body. He felt a warm and sticky wetness and was about to lift his hand to examine it when he felt another sharp pain which caused his vision to go white before everything went black and he knew no more.

-----

Carlos hadn’t had to say too much before his dad had agreed to help out. One of the perks of being a Ranger, Gabriel reminded his son, was getting to choose the cases he focused on from time to time. He wasn’t sure if it was the words he had said or the tone of his voice that had done the convincing but within two minutes his dad had taken down the address and was on his way. He had said he was likely 10 minutes out but each one of those minutes seemed to stretch on endlessly.

He and Owen waited in tense silence, neither saying a word since Carlos had hung up the phone with the news that a Texas Ranger was on the case. Owen had raised an eyebrow but after Carlos clarified that it was his dad his expression had shifted to something unreadable and Carlos wondered how much Owen knew about his parental situation in regards to TK.

He didn’t have to wait long to find out, as it happened. About 4 minutes into their wait, after Owen had made a phone call to Gwyn and Carlos had sent out some updates to the team, Owen cleared his throat, turning to Carlos before he spoke.

“I don’t want to pry, Carlos, but TK mentioned something about you and your parents a few months ago and I just want to know where that stands. I don’t want to make things weird for you, but I also don’t want to accidentally reveal any information you’re not okay with.”

Carlos nodded, feeling a rush of appreciation for the older man’s tact as he responded, “They know I’m gay,” he told Owen plainly, “but they don’t know I’m in a relationship. They’ve never known about any of my relationships, we just don’t talk about it. When TK and I ran into them at the farmer’s market I introduced him as a friend and as far as they know that’s the truth.” Carlos turned to see Owen’s reaction, not sure what to expect. Anger maybe? Frustration or upset?

When he did turn he didn’t see any of those. Instead, the older man’s face was neutral as he nodded. “They won’t find out otherwise from me,” Owen promised him, and Carlos nodded his thanks, letting out a breath he hadn’t even realized he was holding. He was surprised, however, when Owen continued talking.

“I know it’s not my place to tell you how to interact with your parents,” he began, “but for what it’s worth, I would never want TK to keep something that was important to him from me because he was worried it might make me upset or uncomfortable. From everything you and TK have said about your parents, I wouldn’t be surprised if they felt the same way.”

Carlos could feel Owen’s gaze on him, steady and reassuring despite everything, and he nodded. He could feel Owen’s words rattling inside his head, but there was no way to process them right now, not when the fear of possibly losing TK and the worry that his danger-prone boyfriend was missing was so soundly occupying the forefront of his thoughts.

He was still trying to parse through it all when he heard the sound of a vehicle approaching. He stood as he recognized his dad’s truck, crossing to meet him as he pulled to a stop. “Thank you,” he told his dad as he stepped out, “I really appreciate this.”

“Anything for you, mijo,” his dad assured him with a smile, “all you have to do is ask. Which you rarely do, which tells me this is pretty important.”

There’s something else there, in his dad’s words and his expression, that tells Carlos that his dad knows there is something Carlos isn’t telling him, but he ignores it. It didn’t matter right now — nothing mattered except for finding TK. “Still,” he says instead before turning to Owen who has been hovering at the back of the van. “This is TK’s dad, Captain Owen Strand of the 126.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Captain,” Gabriel says with a nod, “I wish it were under better circumstances.”

“Likewise,” Owen replies quickly before diving right in. “Were you able to find out anything yet?”

“Actually yes,” Gabriel admitted and Carlos tensed at the expression on his dad’s face. It was the one he used when he tried to break bad news gently. “We think we may have identified the suspects. There was a bank robbery this morning and the suspects fled in a van matching the description Carlos gave me. There were three suspects — two who entered the bank and one getaway driver — and bank security thinks that they hit one of them while exchanging fire as they fled.”

There was so much information trying to squeeze into Carlos’s head now. None of it was good but one fact jumped out amongst the others. The suspects had exchanged fire with the security guards which meant…

“They’re armed,” he said tersely, the dread he had already been feeling threatening to overtake him now, “the suspects are armed.”

“And they needed the paramedics to treat their partner,” his dad agreed grimly.

“Do we know anything about what kind of shape the injured suspect was in?” Owen asked and Carlos could tell that his mind had gone to the same place his own had: if the paramedics were not able to save the injured bank robber, things didn’t look great for them. Their best hope was for a minor injury but judging by the amount of bloody gauze in the back of the van and the fact that it was a gunshot wound the chances for that were slim to non-existent.

Gabriel shook his head, “No, and the security cams in this parking garage are just for show, I already had someone check.”

So TK and his team were being held at gunpoint, being asked to provide medical care that should be done in a trauma room, and there was no way of saying where they had been taken or if they were okay. Carlos could feel his chest tighten in panic as the hopelessness of the situation set in.

“Are there any leads?” he asked, not even bothering to hide the desperation in his voice.

“Well, they did leave in an ambulance, and that’s not exactly subtle,” his dad reminded him bracingly. “We’ve put out a bulletin — every cop, sheriff, and ranger will be looking for it. We’ll find them, mjio.”

Carlos nodded because he didn’t trust himself to speak and because he desperately needed it to be true. They needed to find them, and TK needed to be okay. Nothing short of that would be enough.

----------

TK knew he was somewhere he shouldn’t be, but he couldn’t seem to do anything about it.

There were voices nearby, but TK couldn’t process any of them. Some of them sounded familiar but others were foreign; unknown with a hostile edge. He tried to open his eyes, to try and take stock of his surroundings but all he could see were vague and blurry shapes. He thought that someone called his name but he couldn’t bring himself to answer. The only thing he knew for sure was that he was in pain, and he was in danger.

The pull of the darkness was stronger than any fear or curiosity, however, and it washed back over him without hesitation, pulling him back under.

---------

Riding in his dad’s truck with his dad and Owen Strand would have been awkward on a good day but today, with his mind full of fear for TK and the tension of the secret between them all, it was unbearable. Carlos couldn’t stop his leg from bouncing anxiously against the floor — the exact same nervous tick he teased TK about on an almost daily basis. The irony wasn’t lost on him, or Owen it seemed as the man leaned forward from the back seat to put a steadying hand on his shoulder, empathetic eyes meeting his own in the rearview. Gabriel kept up a steady stream of one-sided chatter, undaunted by the lack of response from his traveling companions. Every once in a while his radio would crackle to life and Carlos could swear that he could feel his heart seize each and every time.

But every time it was the same: no news, no one had spotted the ambulance yet. Crime scene techs had scoured the van and surrounding area, pulling fingerprints and looking for anything else that could give them a lead on who these people were and where they may have gone. Carlos knew all too well that criminals, especially ones involved in crimes that took as much planning as a bank robbery did, were creatures of habit. If they had somewhere they felt was safe and secluded enough, they would go there. It was up to them to find it.

Carlos knew that his anxiety had not gone unnoticed by his father. He sent him surreptitious glances from time to time, in between radio updates and idle chatter. Finally, he asked a question: “You really care about this TK, don’t you?”

The opening was there, Carlos could see it. A part of his mind told him his dad must too, to open the door so plainly. But the fear of what could happen, of what he has convinced himself he stands to lose is too much. There was already so much fear in his heart from this nightmare he was trapped in, he can’t stand any more. So he nodded and simply answered, “Yeah, I do.”

He tried not to notice the disappointment and pity he could feel from all sides as Owen met his eyes again in the mirror. But his boyfriend’s father stayed silent as promised and Carlos looked away, turning his attention to the window instead. He knew he needed to tell them, he had been coming closer to making that decision on his own with each passing day. Now he just had to hope that they both survived this one and that there would still be something to tell at the end of it all.

His pessimistic spiral was interrupted by the familiar crackle of the radio. He listened absently as his dad grabbed it and at the words that came in response. At least he was only listening absently until some of the words processed in his mind: “Ambulance 126 has been spotted in an alley off W. Fourth St.”

His heart was working on beating its way out of his chest now. He sat upright, looking around frantically to get their bearings. They were only a few blocks east of West Fourth, they could be there in minutes. He relayed this to his dad who nodded before flipping on his lightbar and heading in the direction of the address provided. As they drove Carlos sent his desperate hopes out to the universe. Let them all be okay, let them actually be in or at least nearby the ambulance. Above all, let TK be safe.

As they sped through the city that was the thought that Carlos played on a loop in his head. Let TK be safe, and everything else would be fine

----------

TK came to awareness slowly and at first, the only thing he was truly aware of was the feeling of someone repeatedly tapping his cheek.

“Cut it out,” he whined and heard a relieved sigh in response.

“He’s awake,” a voice — Nancy? — declared and TK tried to open his eyes. It took several tries but he managed, painstakingly blinking them open to reveal the worried faces of his Captain and his partner staring down at him.

“Hey guys,” he said as he tried to pull himself into a sitting position, “why the long faces?”

Captain Vega looked unimpressed with his efforts and pushed him back down onto the ground. “Don’t try to play nice with me Strand after you did that. Of all the reckless, foolhardy things. I really thought you had more sense than that.”

TK frowned at her, trying to piece together all the uncategorized shapes and sensations floating through his hazy mind, “What do you…” he began, but broke off when a sharp pain ripped through his side and Nancy pressed gauze down onto his side, “oh.”

It was coming back now.

“Yeah, ‘oh,’” his Captain scoffed, “what were you thinking TK?”

“I was thinking that they were getting more and more unhinged the longer we were here and that if I had been able to pull the fire alarm dispatch would be notified and it would have given us enough of a distraction we could have maybe saved ourselves,” he said defensively, trying hard to sound assertive when even just the dim lights of the kitchen were causing explosions of pain in his head.

“And how did that go for you?”

“Not great,” he admitted. “How long was I out?”

“Not too long,” Nancy told him as she lifted up the gauze to check on his stab wound, “and I’ve got the bleeding slowed but this wound is pretty deep. Not to mention the knife did not look particularly sterile so this needs treatment, soon.” She nodded towards the abandoned blood-covered chef’s knife on the ground that the man must have grabbed during their scuffle, and TK groaned.

“So probable infection,” he muttered, “great.”

“Not to mention with the width of that knife likely some significant damage,” Tomy reminded him, her unimpressed look holding firm.

“It’s not like I had any way of knowing he was going to find a knife, to be fair.”

“To be fair, I would think the guns should have been enough of a deterrent,” Tommy countered. “Wasn’t getting shot once enough for you?”

TK shifted uncomfortably under his Captain’s gaze and was about to fire back a retort when Nancy interrupted, “Can you both knock it off? Yes, that was incredibly stupid TK and if you weren’t already hurt I probably would have hit you myself. But it was also pretty brave, Cap, and he meant well. Either way, arguing about it is not going to change the fact that we’re still being held hostage and TK is still hurt so maybe it would be best if you both stopped, for my sanity if nothing else.”

She gave them both a hard look and TK did his best approximation of a nod with his throbbing head, not eager to be on his partner’s bad side. Tommy nodded as well, though the look she gave TK promised that they would be revisiting this later, assuming there was a later. He cleared his throat and glanced towards the table where their patient was still laid out, “How is he?”

“Stable, for now,” Tommy answered, following his gaze. “He’s going to need more blood than we can give him though: his friends don’t know his blood type and we only have so much O neg on hand.”

TK nodded, reading in between the lines of what his Captain wasn’t saying: he didn’t have much longer and if he didn’t, neither did they. “What are the others up to?”

“Arguing,” Nancy said softly, “about what to do with us.”

TK turned his gaze to them and though he couldn’t hear their words, he had a feeling he knew what they were saying and it wasn’t good. His suspicions were confirmed a few moments later when they approached.

“That’s enough of that,” the man informed them, gesturing roughly to where Nancy was tending to TK’s stab wound, “get away from him.”

“He needs—” Nancy tried to argue, but TK put a hand on her arm and gave her what he hoped was a reassuring smile before holding out a hand for the supplies.

“It’s okay,” he told her, “I can handle it from here.”

She didn’t look impressed or convinced, but a wave of the gun prompted her to hand them over and pull herself up from the floor, stepping in the direction indicated by the woman. The man looked down at TK with disdain, “You’re done causing trouble,” he announced, “Because if you do it again, I will start shooting, but I won’t be aiming at you. Got it?”

TK swallowed and nodded. What else could he really say to that? He wasn’t about to risk his team’s safety for anything.

“Good,” the man declared with a nod, “glad we’re on the same page.” He turned to Nancy and Tommy now, “Is he stable enough to be moved right now?”

“He’s as stable as we can make him with what we have on hand,” Tommy told him calmly.

“Then we’re moving,” he declared, “we have another van stashed nearby. We’re going to move out,” he gestured towards himself and his companion, “and we’re taking our friend and this one with us.”

When all eyes turned to him TK realized “this one” meant him with a start. Which was...less than ideal, but at least he would know that the other two were out of danger and could probably get help.

“Absolutely not,” Tommy said in her firmest tone, “he’s injured, he needs treatment.”

“Which is why I know he’ll be no trouble,” the man countered, “plus he’s a paramedic, isn’t he? He can treat himself. I’ll let you give him some supplies, I’m not unreasonable.”

TK could practically see Tommy’s anger rising from his position on the floor and he spoke up before his Captain could say anymore, “It’s okay Cap,” he said, hoping his voice sounded more sure out loud than it did to his own ears, “I’ll be fine.”

Tommy turned her gaze to him and was more likely than not going to tell him how many ways that was not happening, but any arguments she may have made were abruptly cut off by the sound of the door banging open and a barrage of police officers entering the scene, guns raised.

TK let himself sag against the wall in relief as he saw their two assailants surrounded and even more when he spotted a familiar gaze in the crowd, filled with fear and worry as it grew closer to him.

“Carlos,” he said quietly, managing to pull a small smile to his face.

“Hey Ty,” Carlos said roughly, reaching out to run a hand through his hair even as he surveyed him for damage. His eyes widened and his jaw clenched as he spotted the bloody gauze poking out from underneath his hand just above his hip.

He reached for it, but TK called his name softly before shaking his head ever so slightly, “leave it be, I’ll be fine. I’m just so happy to see you.”

Carlos looked like he wanted to argue but he bit his lip, turning instead to the crowd behind them. TK followed his gaze and froze when he spotted Gabriel Reyes amongst the officers. He pulled away from Carlos ever so slightly, “Your dad…” he began, but Carlos shook his head, gripping TK hands tighter, not letting him pull away.

“That doesn’t matter right now,” he told him, “all that matters is that you’re safe.”

TK had so many questions, but his head was swimming. He wasn’t sure if it was the blood loss or the head injury, but it was getting harder and harder to follow a fluid thought. He opened his mouth to try and ask any of them but was saved from the trouble of doing that by his dad appearing at his side, expression anxious as he kneeled down. He looked him over before calling over his shoulder for a medic and TK tried really hard to follow what was happening but it was becoming so much harder with each passing moment.

He was so disoriented he almost missed the commotion that erupted around them. All he knew was that Carlos’s hand was suddenly gone from his and he blinked several times, forcing himself to focus on what was happening around them. The woman had somehow managed to free herself of the officer cuffing her and had managed to grab her gun again. She was waving it frantically and shouting, but her words were a blur to TK. All he could focus on now was the fact that Carlos was closest to her, and that he was stepping closer to her.

That he was standing firmly between her and TK.

The rest of the world might be a blur of noise and light but this was clear as day. Carlos was stepping towards the woman, hands raised as he tried to speak calmly to her. But TK knew in his heart that he had been right about her state and knew that there would be no reasoning with her. But he also knew that Carlos would try, because that’s what Carlos did. He helped people, no matter what.

The next moment happened in a blink of an eye but TK saw it as if in slow motion. Carlos took a step forward, his soothing voice still speaking to her, still vibrating its way through the air as another sound erupted between them, eclipsing Carlos’s voice.

It was the sound of a gun firing and TK could do nothing but watch in horror as Carlos’s stride faltered before he stumbled. He could do nothing but try to call out his name with whatever breath he still had in his lungs as Carlos went down, and he could do nothing but feel his heart shatter when he didn’t get up.

TK tried to go to him, tried to push himself off the ground. He needed to help, he needed to save Carlos. But his body wouldn’t listen. The pain in his side sliced through him again with a vengeance and the last thing TK saw was Carlos’s unmoving body before his vision faded to black and he knew no more; left with the worst sight he had ever seen in his life as company as he fell into the darkness.

-------

Carlos woke slowly, bits and pieces of his surroundings making themselves known to him and helping to fill in the blanks in his mind: he was in the hospital, he had been hurt, he had been searching for TK…

And that was the thought that brought him back to consciousness. He opened his eyes with a gasp, feeling hands on him instantly. “TK,” he tried to ask, “is he…”

“Relax, mijo,” his dad told him soothingly, “TK is safe. He just woke up from his own surgery a short while ago. His dad assures me that he’s fine, and asking about you.”

Carlos took a deep breath and willed his heartbeat to slow. TK was alive, they had found him. He was hurt, but he was doing okay and Owen was with him. That did answer a lot of his questions, but there were still so many left. Starting with, “What happened?” he asked his dad.

Gabriel settled into the chair at the side of the bed, leaving a hand on Carlos’s arm as he studied him, “What do you remember, Carlos?”

“I remember TK and his team going missing, calling you, and finding them. After that, not much.”

Gabriel nodded and his hand on Carlos’s arm tightened, “One of the kidnappers, the woman, went a little crazy when your colleagues tried to bring her in. She freed herself from the officer’s trying to cuff her and you were closest. Well,” he amended, “you and TK. But you put yourself between them and tried to talk her down. It…” his dad broke off, clearing his throat and continuing with a thick voice, “it didn’t go well. You were shot, Carlos, right in front of me. I was so scared I was going to lose you, mijo. You cannot scare me like that, I am an old man.”

Despite it all, Carlos chuckled, “Please, you are not old dad. There are 20-year-olds older than you.”

His teasing didn’t put a dent into his father’s upset, and Carlos sobered, “I’m sorry,” he said instead, “that can’t have been easy. I know what it’s like to see someone you care about hurt like that. I’m sorry you had to see that, dad.”

Gabriel shook his head, leaning forward again, “You have nothing to apologize for Carlos,” he said firmly, “you only did what you thought was best, what you needed to do to protect the man you love.”

Carlos’s breath caught in his throat and his eyes widened, but his dad held his gaze, a small smile playing on his lips, “You are not subtle, mijo. I had a feeling since this all started, but the moment I saw you with him, I knew.”

“I’m sorry I kept this from you and mom,” Carlos apologized softly, “that I lied to you when we met at the Farmer’s Market.”

“Stop apologizing Carlos,” Gabriel instructed, his tone matching his son’s, “you have nothing to apologize for. If anyone should be apologizing I think it should be me. Clearly, I did something or said something that made you feel like you couldn’t share this and for that I am so, so sorry. I never wanted you to feel like you had to hide anything from us, especially not this. I’m...” he trailed off and Carlos was surprised to see tears in his dad’s eyes, “I’m just sorry,” Gabriel finished, “I need you to know that. That and the fact that both your mother and I love you so much, no matter what.”

“I do know that,” Carlos assured him, “I never doubted that for a second.”

His father smiled at him and Carlos could feel a weight that had been subtly resting on him for nearly 10 years lifted. He met his father’s eyes and returned the smile.

“Dad,” he said clearly, with a confidence that had been so many years coming, “I have a boyfriend. His name is TK Strand, and I love him. He means everything to me.”

“I’m happy for you Carlos,” his father told him, a soft smile covering his face, “you deserve nothing but the most wonderful love the world has to offer, and I hope this boy can give you that.”

“He can,” Carlos assured him, “he does.”

----------

TK was staring moodily at the dark ceiling of his hospital room. Yes, he was beyond grateful to have been rescued and that his teammates were safe. They had just been by actually — both women very clear that they would stab him themselves next time if he ever tried to do something so reckless again — and he had been happy to see them. Just as he had his parents and his friends, all who had stopped by before the doctor informed them all that he needed rest.

That was all wonderful and he was grateful, but the one person he wanted to see more than anyone else �� that he needed to see — was in a room of his own on the other side of the hospital. He had been assured by multiple reliable sources that he was fine: awake and alert and recovering nicely from his gsw (fuck, Carlos had been shot. That was a thought and a memory that was going to haunt him for a while, he knew it). But he had been denied any and all requests of seeing him with his own eyes due to his concussion — hence the dark room as light still wreaked havoc on his head — and the antibiotics slowly dripping their way into his system in an effort to cut off any possible infection from the dirty knife blade before it had a chance to take root. Which, as a paramedic, he recognized was reasonable. If it were anyone else he would have recommended the same. But it wasn’t anyone else. It was him and it was Carlos, and TK needed to see him with his own eyes before he could believe that he was really alright.

Since that was beyond his control, that left him with pouting about it in the dark, which is what he intended to do about it for the foreseeable future.

A soft knock at his door interrupted his plans and when he turned his head in the direction of the door, his breath caught in his throat.

“Carlos,” he breathed, his name emerging from his lips like a prayer as the other man gave him a small, tired smile from his wheelchair in the door. Behind him stood his father, looking at TK with a smile that told him everything he needed to know.

He waited as Gabriel pushed the wheelchair into the room, reaching out for Carlos, taking his hand in his own as soon as they were close enough to touch. He moved to the side of the bed, leaning over and meeting Carlos in a soft, tender kiss that he hoped did something to relay even a portion of the emotions he was feeling. They pulled apart and he met Carlos’s eyes, studying them and him for any signs that he wasn’t okay, but his study was interrupted by the sound of someone clearing their throat. He looked up, startled, to see Carlos’s father watching them with a bemused expression.

“I will leave you both alone,” he promised, “but first I just wanted to take a moment to meet you properly, TK. I am very glad you are okay.”

“Thank you, sir,” TK said warmly, still clutching Carlos’s hand.

Gabriel shook his head, “None of that ‘sir’ business now,” he told him, “as far as I’m concerned we’re family now. Call me Gabriel, please.”

“Well Gabriel, TK said lightly, “I am happy to meet you, officially.”

He grinned at Carlos, he matched his expression without a second thought. Gabriel watched the pair of them, smile growing.

“I would love to talk more with you TK, take some time to get to know you, but I know when I’m not wanted so we’ll take care of that later. Just remember Carlos,” he told his son, voice suddenly firm, “you’re injured too. Don’t overdo it.”

“Yes dad, thanks.”

Gabriel gave them both a smile and with an affectionate squeeze of Carlos’s shoulder, he was gone.

“So,” TK said as he watched the older man walk away, “you told him.”

Carlos scoffed, “I didn’t have to. He spent all day with me, looking for you. He figured it out pretty quickly.” He paused here, swallowing thickly as he looked back at TK, “God Ty, I was so scared. I don’t know what I would have done…”

TK cut him off, pressing a hand against his face, “Hey, none of that. We’re both okay, and that’s what matters.”

But even as he said it, he could feel his voice waver. The last memory he had before blacking out of Carlos collapsing after being shot would be forever ingrained in his memories, a vision he was sure would come back to haunt him for many nights to come. Carlos leaned forward now, placing a hand on top of TK’s and pulling it away from his face so he could twist their fingers together.

“Same goes for you,” he said firmly, as if he knew where TK’s mind had gone. Because of course he did. It was Carlos, and TK knew there was no part of him that was a mystery to the other man.

“Hey, remember when you said being a Paramedic would be less dangerous than being a firefighter?” TK quipped in an attempt to lighten the mood and Carlos rolled his eyes.

“Only you could manage to prove that wrong,” Carlos fired back, his voice a blend of fondness and exasperation. “Maybe you can try not to keep proving that wrong though, for my sake?”

“I guess I could try,” TK said softly, “if only for you. I love you an awful lot, you know.”

Carlos leaned forward and pulled him into a kiss with more heat than before. It was warm and bright and so full of everything TK had been so afraid of losing for good. When they pulled apart, both breathing heavier and both leaning in, resting their foreheads on each other, Carlos responded, “I love you so much, Tyler Kennedy. Don’t you ever get kidnapped on me again.”

“I’ll do my best,” TK promised, “but I know that if I do, you’d come find me.”

“And I always will,” Carlos assured him, squeezing their linked hands, “no matter what.”

#911 lone star #911 lone star fic #tarlos #tarlos fic #911ls season 2 #911ls speculation #my writing #userkimmy #userjilly #userac #usermaximus #tuserpaige #userbones #jazzyjess #hierophvnts #maizsnex #buckybarnesalways #reyeslonestartag #immortalstrand

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annetteblog · 4 years

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Intro & My take on KM

Hi!

I’m new around here so it’s supposed to be (not so short) introduction, since I don’t know how to start a blog heh. I hope to sprinkle my 0.5 cents into the KM conversation and maybe to bring a new perspective from someone, who is not a part of the typical English-speaking West.

Who /the hell/ Am I?

(please, consider it to be said with NJ’s voice from Intro: Persona :D)

I was born in Siberia (it’s in the Asian part of Russia), currently live in the European part of the country while studying at a Uni (European in terms of geography, not in terms of everything else i’m definitely not shading rn lolllll). English is not my first language, I’ve just kind of learnt it to some extent. Due to this it takes me more time to write a post; and I may (and will) make some grammatical & other mistakes. Plus I’m lazy AND busy with Uni, so I won’t even promise to be consistent in posting smth lol. But I thought I need more practice in terms of writing in English, so here I am, actually scribbling something. This feels weird, because I’ve been around stan Tumblr since 2015, but never ever interacted, just read.

How I ended up around Jikook/Kookmin (and BTS) & My (long&messy) take on this matter

Although I had heard of BTS before, I became an Army only in October 2018. I had kinda avoided them, because you know... boybands.... sing songs about romantic love and how they love girls.......... (+I had been around Twitter when 1D been at their peak and I remember a quite toxic community of fans, whom always had scared me). Shortly, hello stereotypes. Obviously, after I got engaged I felt terribly sorry that I had been sleeping on them, but what is done cannot be undone.

Someone I knew back then reposted one of their MVs and I, during my sad hours of procrastination, decided to watch it. Then I saw their live performance with the same song. And I thought “wow these guys can sing and dance and the music is kinda cool, i need to check this out maybe??”

Then a funny thing happened. One of the next videos I watched (the same person had it added to their page) was a 2016 BangtanBomb where JM and JK practiced their Coming of Age dance.

Do you know this moment with Gina from the 1st episode of Brooklyn 9-9:

Well, that was precisely me after I watched it. I don’t even know how to explain this, it was kind of a gut feeling? Whatever you call it, I started to get suspicious and couldn’t even explain to myself why. /actually now a do have questions to this vid and the main one - why does everyone cringe that much? if it’s a girly choreo than they had done some “girly” moves before. why is there such strong reaction??/

I started to get deeper and went to some ru-shipper communities. Shipping culture among Russian speaking fans is... well, weird to some extent, but I maybe address this topic some time later. You need to consider that (as far as you probably know) Russia is quite homophonic country and sadly is not the greatest place for LGBTQ+ community at the moment. The non-frienly influential attitudes hanging in the society + the general shippers’ weirdness = the result is not that nice honestly.

I struggled for some time in order to find more mature people (not just in terms of age but in general sanity), failed, ended up with some EXTREMELY toxic ru-fans of TK, which was/is the most popular pairing here, spent among them like 15 minutes and ran away horrified. After that I didn’t even try to engage with shippers or believers or whatever of any pair and just decided to enjoy the music and the content (which is a great idea, highly recommend!)

After a couple of days I discovered that JK makes videos. I love video, films and visual art so I immediately found them on YT, saw the titles with names of different cities from all over the world and was like “Oh that must be so cool, he’s visited so many outstanding places I’ve never been to, so I really need to watch it! I shall enjoy some beautyyy”. Then I clicked on GCFt.

Well, what can I say. I did enjoy some beauty, but not the type I had initially anticipated. The biggest clickbait in my entire life. JK should be proud of himself.

/as I said - the beauty/

I had already known Troy back then and I known the song’s lyrics so it would not be an underestimation to say - the video just blew my mind. I was like - hold on is this real? seriously?? no really really????? he manage to get away with something THAT obvious?????? dude how

As a person who edited videos AND is not a native English speaker, I don’t buy the explanation “oh he mustve didnt get the lyrics lmao”. You just don’t do that. You don’t. DON’T. You google and translate every shit you don’t understand, every word and idiom you’ve never encountered, because otherwise the possibility of an epic failure is very likely. You wouldn’t want to give your mum a video as a birthday present and then discover that you used a song with WAP-ish lyrics, right? (well maybe that would be okay in your family, I don’t judge, but that’s not the case for people I know). So don’t you dare to degrade JK’s intellectual capacities; such assumption is really offensive. He is a smart boii, he knows exactly what he’s doing in terms of his art.

So I was shocked, but decided to look for the context - maybe I missed some previous events regarding this Tokyo thing (another great idea - always check the context). Well, apparently I didn’t, because the whole narrative with the trip for two, lovely selfies etc. made my poor brain lowkey explode. (I still don’t buy the rings theory thing though)

But I didn’t give up lol! I’m a bit stubborn and it’s very hard to convince me in anything, so I decided to search for more context, more of their interactions, moreeee. Remember, the late October 2018, there were no swan lakes, RB, and even MMA18 hadn’t happened yet.

This time I ended up watching content in more or less consistent way, and when I saw all of these scenes with affectionate JM and a cool badass i-don’t-care-about-anyone-i’m-a-manly-man-with-no-feelings-whatsoever JK, I just hysterically laughed.

Homophobic Russia, remember? I recognized this. Growing up here being LGBT myself, taught me the same type behaviour during my high school days. When a girl I kinda liked but didn’t what to admit it to myself was nice to me or (oh god) flirted with me, I did something similar. It’s like a huge panic mode. Being an introvert doesn’t help either. The funniest thing is that you may not entirely realise what exactly is going on in terms of your own feelings, especially at that age (16-18ish). In my personal case, I thought I liked her but as a friend, only later to realise that well not as a friend oops :DDD The second thing (already not so funny) is that you actually consciously or unconsciously try to avoid the subject as much as possible, as long as possible and pretend that nothing is going on. We’re just bros. Stop doing this stupid gayish thing and don’t look at me like that, you’re annoying. If you ever do this again I (gently) kick you. I’m straighter than a straight line in my math textbook. IDK, but probably that’s your brain is somehow trying to protect you. Again, in my case&position I knew that the consequences for any non-straight person being outed would be bad (TW not to the point of being killed bad, but to the point of being excluded from a big part of society). So for me it was a mixture of the internalized homophobia + lack of self reflection + just being a bit emotionally slow + very! straight community around. Shit happens, I was a teenager and made my share of mistakes, but that experience helps me to recognize the same pattern of behaviour up to this day.

So coming back to KM, because the post is already waaay too long and I just ramble. It’s been 2+ years for me being a part of this fandom, and what can I say... Things become more intense and eventful with every year passing by ;) Funny how I felt that vibe from the 2016 dance practice video. Seeing the Black Swan performance a week ago almost had me choked, no joking. They are amazing.

Pure Art

However, and I would like to emphasize that, I do not incline that KM are 100% romantically involved and/or gay or whatever. I tend to treat people with respect and not to make too much assumptions about their private life. That’s not my business. However, I’m also not a fan of heteronormativity, so I’m just sitting here and observe everything that’s going on putting some distance and not forgetting being generally polite and critical thinking. But if they are just straightest besties please give them an Oscar before Grammy

Anyways, I hope this blog won’t kick the bucket from the very start and I will post something every now and then. You can always ask me questions about some BTS/Jikook related stuff or something about Russia and a Russian view on mass culture topics, since I’m pretty sure some of you have very stereotypical view of what is going on here :) However, do note that I’ve never been to America or Europe, therefore I may not be aware of something verrrry obvious to you or just have a completely different experience.

P.S. And yeah, I’m used to say Jikook, since it’s the name which is used much more frequently in Russian. i like it better and what will u do haha

#jikook #kookmin #what am i even doing here #i'm gonna regret this #long post

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beeexx · 4 years

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Fic: Autumn

4 tattoos on TK’s body, 4 stories set over each of the 4 season. Carlos and TK grow closer.

Read part one here or read the whole thing on ao3, see the end notes there for more of my comments.

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It’s been raining on and off for weeks now, the humidity thick in the air, mixing badly with the chillier temperatures in the mornings and evenings, the sky looking a lot like someone’s taken a paintbrush to it and permanently painted it a depressing colour of grey that’s never going to disappear. Carlos is either constantly overdressed or underdressed and the uncertainty of the days, the constant rain, and the stress he’s been under for a few weeks now has made him extremely tired.

Which is why he and TK’s had a fight. They don’t often do this, Carlos has the patience of a saint, he knows this, Owen’s told him that on numerous occasions when TK’s been a little difficult and Owen’s been struggling to not lose his own temper, even TK’s gratefully expressed that too on a few occasions. So yes, he is very aware of how calm and patient he can be. But today Carlos has had a bad day at work and he’s tired and it’s just his luck that today of all days clashes with one of TK’s bad days, where he is anxious and too wrapped up in his own head to really be able to read signals.

Carlos doesn’t fault TK for this, of course not, but when his boyfriend is being uncooperative and uncommunicative, and not having had the strength to not drink that fourth cup of coffee today, their moods are doomed to clash. And it turns into a fight over something really stupid that causes TK to slam the bedroom door shut and for Carlos to kind of want to cry as it rattles on its hinges, that’s how much he feels that everything is too much right now.

He’s bent over the stove, staring angrily at the uncooked chicken in the pan and wishes he could set it on fire or something, that would maybe make him feel fractionally better. Carlos really doesn’t want to fight, and he really doesn’t want to fight with TK, but even he has bad days where all signals go straight over the other one’s head and the answer ‘I’m fine’ with a foot bouncing unrelentlessly while hanging off the chair with a nose in phone, means that TK is definitely not fine, sometimes that doesn’t always translate for Carlos. Particularly not on a day like this.

He knows most of the signs and tells when TK is anxious, has been through one anxiety attack triggered by a nightmare with him where he might have remained totally collected on the outside while on the inside his heart broke in two because his boyfriend was on the floor telling him he couldn’t breathe and that image is doomed to haunt him for a long time. It was scary, but he’s seen panic before and he recognized the signs immediately and they talked through it afterwards and moved past it, well adjusted to deal with it in the future.

And TK isn’t selfish, he’s pretty good at reading Carlos’ in return, but not on the days where Carlos is strung so tightly he could snap in half due to days full of picking kids up from places where their parents are fighting with fists, bloody from the violence and almost always on something while the kids are hiding, their faces blank without tears because they’ve been through it too many times by then to know it doesn’t help. He doesn’t know what’s worse, that they’ve seen too much of this already, that it’s become so normalised for them they’ve already accepted it, or when they see it for the first time and Carlos is forced to gather them up in his arms, talk to them or sing to distract from the vicious yelling from the other room while child services are being called and the parents are dragged away in handcuffs screaming bloody murder. Yeah, sometimes he hates his job.

So, it’s been a bad day and coming home to a TK that is a nervous ball of tightly strung energy too, is not a good combination.

Carlos exhales, feels absolutely exhausted by now and he’s honestly ready to just go to sleep on the couch and forget about everything. He hears the bedroom door open, prepares himself for some short clipped words from TK informing him that he’s going home to his dad to sleep, instead, and this goes to show how upset and distracted he is, when TK steps in close and wraps his arms around him instead. He freezes for a moment, rendered shocked before he snaps out of it, covering TK’s hands with his own.

He’s about to turn around so he can hug back for real when he feels TK’s arms slip from his, hurt he turns to look at TK, but TK’s already taken his hand in his, tugs on it until Carlos follows him, and walks him over to the couch. Gently he pushes him down on it, and Carlos goes willingly, at first not understanding what TK is doing. He gets the hint that TK wants him to lie down though, and when he does TK wordlessly climbs on top of him, laying down, covering him with his body. Dumbstruck he puts his arms around TK, feels his calming breathing on top of him, and somehow he calms down himself. TK winds his own arms around him too and with the both of them on top of each other like this, it’s a snug fit on the small couch. But it doesn’t matter, having TK near calms him immediately.

“I’m sorry.” TK whispers. “I didn’t mean to be difficult.” Carlos shakes his head.

“No, it’s okay, I’m very sorry too.”

“I know work’s been a lot for you recently and I should have been more considerate, it’s just, it’s hard for me sometimes when I get stuck in my head to see that you’re struggling too.” He admits and Carlos nods, he understands.

“And I’m not leaving, I promise.” It makes Carlos stop for a moment, the words taking him by surprise because while it’s been hanging over them from the beginning that TK’s been scared that Carlos is going to leave him because he’s has got it into his head that he’s going to be too much and have too much baggage for it to be fair to Carlos to have to deal with it too, Carlos cannot help but feel the exact same at times as well. Especially when TK is upset and angry and on the rare occasions that they do fight, that he’ll leave. Not for long, but for a few hours and the thought of that is just too much for him sometimes that it makes him not think clearly, panicked into apathy almost.

“I’m in it for the long run I promise.” Carlos tightens his arms around him, breathes him in, feels the weight of TK ground him into the couch, and he focuses on that feeling of safety, allowing it to embrace him for a moment as he swallows down the tears.

“I know.” He whispers, hears his voice waver slightly. “I know, but it’s nice to hear you say it nonetheless.”

TK sits up, rests his elbow on either side of Carlos and wipes the escaping tear away gently, and kisses his cheek.

“I love you Carlos, I’m not leaving.”

“I know…”

“Are you okay?” He asks, concerned and Carlos shrugs, not totally used to being on the receiving end of TK’s worry. It makes him feel a little odd but he’s also understanding TK’s own hesitancy to opening up to Carlos in the beginning of their relationship, it’s scary.

“Work has not been easy recently. It’s just been a lot of bad stuff involving kids and social services and drugs, it’s making me feel useless. These kids, they deserve better and most of them just want their parents to love them. Separating them like this feels inhumane.” He admits, shakes his head to prevent more tears from escaping.

TK nods but he winces and he has that rare look on his face, one Carlos knows means that he wants to protect him, wishes he could carry some of the burden for Carlos himself. It’s the same look he gets when he’s on call and he has to deal with a particularly difficult rescue, where instincts kick in and he will do everything he can to save the person.

It’s strange but Carlos recognises it’s deeply meaningful to be on the receiving end of it, Carlos can’t imagine there’s many people alive that TK cares this deeply about.

“I’m very very sorry about that.”

“Yeah...me too. But taking it out on you when you’re clearly not feeling your best either is not okay and I’m sorry.”

“I know you didn’t mean to and I wasn’t exactly helping my case along by being inconsiderate.”

“Agreed then that we both made mistakes?” Carlos says, his lip twitching a little and TK nods, smile small.

“Yeah, agreed.” He leans forward and kisses Carlos’ nose, a soft gentle gesture and it lodges something fiercely in his throat for a moment, making him gulp down the tears.

But it makes him feel better too, and the tough and long day has started to diminish slightly by now when he feels warm and loved and comforted by the love of his life.

“Tell me about your day.” He tells TK and he huffs but smiles softly and nods, leans down again and while he talks he keeps placing butterfly light kisses on Carlos’ exposed skin, making his heart flutter in love.

He talks for a bit and Carlos hums and nods and doesn’t say much, starts to feel himself drifting off but feeling too tired to stop it.

…..

He wakes by the cascading sound of water against his windows, sits up confused as to where he is for a moment and why there is a blanket draped over him, the loud noise alerting him to the roaring storm outside. The living room light is off but the kitchen ones are on and there are two steaming plates of food standing on the counter, TK absent. He yawns, stretches and gets up in search of his boyfriend. It doesn’t take long, he comes out of the bathroom, freshly showered and wearing sweatpants and an old t-shirt of Carlos’, a little loose around the arms. He smiles when he spots Carlos is up and comes close, wrapping his arms around him. He looks better Carlos notes, less burdened than when earlier.

“Hi.” He smiles. Carlos can’t help but smile back, loving it when he gets to see TK like this, completely at ease, facade gone, face open and soft looking in clothes that belong to him.

He feels his heart grow in size and he leans down, kisses his boyfriend and hopes it conveys everything he feels that he can’t find the words for at the moment. TK seems to appreciate it and somehow understand it too, he hums, wraps his arms tighter around his neck and gives in to the kiss completely. He could do this forever, but he’s hungry and whatever there is that TK’s made smells lovely, so he breaks the kiss and TK kisses his nose before he steps back, but only a little, still keeping close to Carlos.

“You cooked.” He comments lifting an eyebrow. TK shrugs, a little unsure.

“Yeah, I have no idea what you had planned to make before the fight but you fell asleep and I thought you might appreciate some food when you woke up.” Carlos' heart melts, he loves him so much.

TK looks back and Carlos kisses him again, taking the breath out of him as TK’s surprise becomes evident. Carlos steps back and TK looks dazed, he blinks and Carlos smiles.

“Thank you, I love it.” And a shy little smile breaks across TK’s smile, relief mixing with love.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. And I am starving.”

“Good.” They step apart to sit down and the evening that started out horrendously turns into something soft and beautiful instead, both of them tucked away into a little bubble of light while it rains heavily outside, unbeknownst to them.

After dinner and the dishes have been cleaned away they move to the couch again, Carlos also having changed out of his jeans to fully enjoy the downtime. An episode of Criminal Minds is playing on TV, not Carlos’ favourite thing to watch when he wants to relax, but TK enjoys it and has taken to asking Carlos questions about what they do being realistic or not.

He’s not paying attention to the episode though, his attention is on TK more than anything else right now, his head in Carlos’ lap, eyes attentive on the screen, his hair soft and loose, having been left unstyled after the shower, breathing slow and calm. He’s stroking a hand up and down his arm, making goosebumps erupt on his skin, something he delights a little too much in doing.

The sleeve of the shirt has risen up, and there is one of TK’s many different tattoos. This one is the SOS one, the world as the O and it’s pretty, Carlos actually likes it a lot, can’t help but be curious about it too. He moves his hand over it, fingers gently hovering above it until he has TK’s full attention. It takes a while for him to notice that the stroking has stopped and he moves his head, frowning slightly.

“What is it?” He asks, Carlos smiles, a little cheekily.

“What about this one.” He taps gently at the underside of his upper arm and TK’s eyes move to it. When he gets what Carlos is asking he huffs but he nimbly moves and lies down on his back, meeting Carlos’ eyes. Carlos gets a pillow from behind himself, motions for TK to move and puts it under his head making it more comfortable for him.

“Okay this one really doesn’t have as deep a meaning as the other one, just to warn you.”

“It doesn’t have to be deep.” He reassures. “I just want to know more about you.” TK’s eyes go soft for a moment and he draws in a sharp breath.

“I love you so much.” He whispers and Carlos smiles brilliantly, leans forward and kisses TK.

The angle is all wrong and kissing upside down really isn’t as sexy as they make it out to be in films, not that it matters, the action, softly kissing someone he loves is all that matters.

“I love you too.” He sits back.

“Okay, well this really isn’t that deep. But you know I love the ocean?” Carlos nods.

“Well I went on a trip with some friends to California for a weekend when I was younger and there was this activism group that was protesting and advocating for the protection of our seas so I stopped and talked with one of the guys and he was really passionate about it. I learnt a lot from him and I guess it just kick started my own passion for the sea.”

“Yeah?”

“But the tattoo came after a drunk night out, same trip though, where I flirted with the tattoo artist for long enough to make him agree to do it even though I very obviously wasn’t sober.”

“You little menace.” TK flashes him a cheeky grin, clearly proud of the achievement.

“Well the tattoo turned out nice though.” He strokes his thumb appreciatively over it and TK nods.

“It did.”

“What happened with the dude?”

“I went home with him for the night.” Carlos snorts and rolls his eyes.

“Of course you did.” TK chuckles.

“But yes the tattoo turned out nice, it really did. Not that I am against putting tattoos or piercings or stuff on your body that don’t have any meaning. But I guess it’s nice when some of them do.”

“It’s art, I like it on you, adds another layer to you, as well as making you hot as hell.”

“Yeah?” TK lifts an eyebrow, intrigued now, fishing for details, wanting more. Carlos chuckles but he can’t really resist TK when he looks at him like he does now, biting at his lip, knowing of course exactly what he’s doing to Carlos.

“You are a menace.” TK chuckles, sits up, easily turning around planting himself in Carlos’ lap, kicking away the pillow.

“Yep, but you love it.”

“I do.” He says leaning forward, meeting TK in the middle.

They don’t last too long on the couch because after becoming an actual well adjusted couple both of them prefer having sex in the bedroom, it makes for much more intimacy than a quickie on this small couch do for either of them these days. Not that they are exactly opposed to having sex a bit all over the place at Carlos’, but after the evening they’ve had, the bedroom it defintiely is.

Carlos turns off the TV, carries his boyfriend easily enough to his bedroom and closes the door behind them.

#tarlos #tarlos fic #tattoo fic #911 lone star #911 lone star fic #fanfiction #my writings #tk x carlos #carlos x tk #carlos reyes #tk strand #9-1-1 lone star

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i-am-church-the-cat · 4 years

Text

More Than Best Friends (Mega Best Friends?)

Fandom: 9-1-1, 9-1-1 Lone StarPairing: Evan “Buck” Buckley & TK Strand, Pre-Relationship Evan “Buck” Buckley/Eddie Diaz WC: 2344Summary: “Well, I’m sorry if I was a little preoccupied with the whole suddenly liking guys thing to notice my giant crush on my best friend!”TK just snorted again. “Crush? Buck, I hate to have to tell you your own feelings, but you’re in love with the guy.”“...WHAT?!”Or TK is a good friend and helps Buck figure some things out

Read on AO3 or under the cut

“I didn’t feel like going in alone and making it awkward so I asked Taylor-” “Wait wait, who’s Taylor?” Buck paused from wiping down the kitchen counter at the station. He had his phone tucked between his shoulder and his ear as he went through his chores, TK listening as he explained his week. These weekly calls between the two of them had started about a week after the 118 left Texas - Buck had called TK at midnight freaking out over his delayed bisexual freak out. TK had talked him down and since then, their calls were almost as frequent as Buck’s talks with his therapist. He hadn’t realized how much he needed a friend outside of work until he had been able to talk about his life with someone who hadn’t lived it with him. He had a feeling it was helping TK too, at least, he was still picking up his calls. “Oh right. She’s um... It’s kind of complicated but she’s a news reporter, the 118 saved her on a call and we hooked up a few times, and then I saw her again at the robber on the roof thing.” “Ah,” TK’s voice came back a little delayed. Buck wasn’t surprised, he was also in the middle of a shift. “So you asked an ex-fling to go on a double date with you?” Buck groaned. “Now, you say it like that and it sounds like a bad idea.” “Well was it?” The blond’s silence was telling and a snort came from over the line. “You should’ve called me, dude. I am well-versed in awkward romantic situations.” “Oh, you are aren’t you?” “Yep,” TK popped the ‘p’ and Buck shook his head, mindlessly returning to his cleaning. “I’ll make sure to do that next time. Can I get back to my story now?” TK grunted in refusal. “Just one last thing. Why didn’t you ask Eddie to go with you?” Eddie, Eddie, Eddie. TK always seemed to manage to bring him up in their conversations - Buck refused to think about how much he talked about the man himself - and Buck didn’t get it. “I can’t ask my best friend to go with me to dinner with my roommate and his girlfriend. Besides, he’s dating the vice principal, Ana.” “Her? Haven’t they only gone on like three dates? I’m pretty sure it doesn’t count as dating until the fifth,” his tone was teasing but there was an undercurrent of something Buck doubted he would be able to name until he knew TK better. Still, his words struck something wrong inside of him and he ducked his head. “He um. He introduced her to Christopher.” “Wait really?” TK sounded shocked. Buck was a little too. “How did Christopher take it?” Buck laughed humorlessly. “He used Eddie’s phone to order an Uber to my place.” TK was quiet for so long after that that Buck pulled the phone back to make sure he was still on the line. He pressed it back to his ear and said questioningly, “TK? You there?” “Oh sorry dude, yeah yeah. Just… he went to your place?” “Yeah, crazy right?” Buck was touched Chris trusted him so much but still couldn’t wrap his head around it. “No, actually,” TK replied, to Buck’s surprise. “It makes perfect sense. Think about it, when you’re mad at one person, you go to the other.” “I- what?” Buck blinked in confusion. Was he going crazy or did TK just imply he was Chris’s other parent? “Chris isn’t my kid.” Even though it was the truth, it still hurt. TK made a noise and somehow he could tell the younger man was rolling his eyes, even without seeing him. “Buck, I’ve been talking with you for how many weeks now? You talk about Christopher the same way Tommy talks about her kids. Utterly smitten and protective.” Buck opened and closed his mouth a few times like a gaping fish. He tried to deny it but… a small part of him couldn’t help but ask if he was right. He loved Christopher and he knew the kid loved him back. He knew he was Eddie’s kid and that was never going to change but. Sometimes he felt like Buck’s too. Before Buck could think of someone to reply, there were voices in the background of the call. He heard some shuffling and multiple voices, letting him know he had been put on speaker. “Hey, Buckley,” a voice Buck recognized as Captain Owen Strand’s came through the phone. “You finally accepting my offer to come down here.” “Ah, you know I would love to, but my family’s here in LA,” Buck said, just like every time. It was a running joke with them - though some days it felt less like a joke and more and more like a “We’re there if you need us” from the Strands. “I completely understand. But hey, you’ll say hi to Nash for me won’t ya?” “Of course. Actually, he told me you still owe him from that bet…?” Buck wasn’t completely sure about Owen and Bobby’s relationship. Just that they had met at the academy, lost touch, and then reconnected after the whole wildfire incident. He could hear TK snicker as Owen protested loudly. Buck chuckled when he noticed Bobby himself coming up the stairs, eyebrows raised at Buck’s lack of tidying up. Shit, he forgot what he was supposed to be doing. “Uh, I gotta go, you should talk to him about it. Let’s talk later okay, and TK I’ll send you my pancake recipe.” “Great thank you. We’ll talk later man.” They hung up just as Bobby was approaching Buck. He shoved his phone in his pocket as Bobby’s eyebrow didn’t lower. “Who were you talking to?” His captain asked, sounding too innocuous for the undertone of the question. “Uh, the Strands. Owen says hi, by the way, and that he definitely did not lose that bet,” he gives him what he hopes is an innocent shrug Bobby looks less suspicious and more teasing. He always was where Owen was involved it seemed. “I guess I’ll have to call him myself then. Were he and TK not on shift?” “Nah they were. It was just time for…” Buck trailed off, not sure what to call his weekly talks with TK. Life updates? Staying in touch? One bro helping out another through his sexuality crisis at 29 that turned into a Thing? “TK called me.” He finally settled on since it was the truth. Bobby gave him another look before nodding. “Well, as long as it doesn’t interfere with your work.” He said pointedly. Buck quickly nodded. “Yep, no, no interfering here,” he gave him a grin and went back to cleaning. He could feel Bobby’s amused shake of the head before he turned to head back downstairs. Buck sighed quietly and sent TK his promised pancake recipe before getting back to work. *** It wasn’t until he was back home that the content of his conversation with TK actually hit him. He was getting home, not surprised to see Albert already passed out on the couch. Buck’s shift had ended at 6 am which meant Al had already been back home for two hours. The blond was going to take a shower and follow his lead when all of a sudden it came back to him. TK said Buck was Christopher’s other parent. There was a lot to unpack about that - though he was steadily ignoring the small part of him that felt validated - but the thought that slammed to the front of his brain was ‘What about Eddie?’ Of course, TK never said Chris wasn’t also Eddie’s kid and it was absurd to think otherwise. No, the reason that thought was at the forefront of Buck’s worries was that if they were both Chris’s parents, what did it make them? Do best friends usually raise kids together? What would Buck even know about that? ‘If Chris is my kid, does that make Eddie my partner?’ he thought and woah, he was not prepared for the wave of… something that accompanied it. Eddie had been called his partner before - he was his partner at work, people regularly called them partners in crime - but it felt different. Equal in significance but different in meaning. And what the hell did that mean? It was almost 8 am in Austin and Buck knew TK had a shift at 10 today so he didn’t even think before pulling out his phone and pressing the now familiar number. “Wow, back-to-back days, is this Veronica thing really bugging you or what?” TK asked as soon as he picked up the phone sounding blessedly awake and clearheaded. The same could not be said about Buck, however, as instead of a greeting he blurted out, “Am I in love with Eddie?” There were a few moments of silence before TK lost it and loud laughing could be heard over line. Which, in Buck’s opinion, was not helpful, thanks. He was having a bisexual - or was it gay because Eddie was a guy? No, Buck was a bisexual and he didn’t become less bisexual by freaking out over a guy - freakout over his best friend dammit! It took a while but eventually, TK got control over himself. “You’re just now finding that out? What have we been discussing the past few months?” ‘Months? Wait, was this why TK always let him ramble about Eddie to him? Also if it was so obvious, why didn’t he tell him?!’ Buck voiced his complaints which only seemed to make TK more amused. “Excuse me for thinking that you suddenly realizing you were bisexual at 29 had something to do with your ridiculously hot and tactile best friend whose kid you are half-raising.” Again with the parent comments. TK was going to make BUck cry at this rate. “Well, I’m sorry if I was a little preoccupied with the whole suddenly liking guys thing to notice my giant crush on my best friend!” Oh. Oh. Did he just admit to liking Eddie? His painfully straight best friend Eddie? Well shit. But instead of sounding surprised, TK just snorted again. “Crush? Buck, I hate to have to tell you your own feelings, but you’re in love with the guy.” “...WHAT?!” There was a sound painfully close to a wince from the other side of the line. “I’m going out on a limb here and saying you didn’t know that either.” No. No, Buck certainly hadn’t known that. At least, he doesn’t think he did… “What am I going to do?” He asked, sounding sad and a little hopeless even to his own ears. It was just like him to fall in love with someone so tragically unavailable it wasn’t even funny. TK sobered a bit and let out a sigh. “I don’t know man. Sorry, I wish I did.” Buck slowly sat down on his bed. He doesn’t even remember when he had stood up to pace around the loft. Okay, so a few things to digest here. He was apparently in love with his straight and taken best friend who he was also helping raise a kid with and he was very likely to be the last to know. Seriously. Shit. “Look, if it makes you feel any better,” TK said slowly. Buck sat up a little straighter. “I think he likes you too.” “What?” He blinked at nothing. “But- but he’s not- he has a girlfriend.” “Compulsory heterosexuality is a bitch, I’ll give you that,” Buck knew what that was from their talks, recognized it as something he had likely done in the past, but didn’t really understand it. “But from the way you talk about him, and from what Marjan tells me his Instagram looks like, the only reason you aren’t married is that neither of you bothered to notice you could be.” That… huh. “Are you sure?” “Pretty sure. I will admit my gaydar has been off a little bit as of late, but you two already act, look, and talk like a couple. Now you just need to acknowledge it.” TK made it sound so easy. And he knew, even if Eddie didn’t feel the same, he wouldn’t disregard Buck’s feelings - which was the thing he was most scared of about coming out. It might take them a while for him to understand them but they would be out there in the open. The only thing was- “He’s still dating Ana,” Buck said, voice sounding surer. “He just got Christopher to accept it. I can’t- I won’t take that away from him.” The line was quiet for a bit before TK spoke again. “Hey, no, I get it, man. Just figured you should know.” Buck nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, I appreciate it, TK. Thank you.” “Anytime, it’s what I’m here for.” He could hear the grin in the brunette’s voice. “You’re gay sherpa remember?” Buck laughed, feeling lighter and heavier all at the same time. “Yeah, I remember. Seriously though. Thank you, for everything. It means a lot.” “Whenever you need me,” TK assured. He wasn’t sure how the Strands had picked up on it but they seemed to know Buck didn’t have a lot of people he felt he could rely on, even now. “Hey look, I hate to leave you, but Carlos is getting off shift soon-” “Yeah, go go, it’s fine,” Buck was quick to reassure him. And it was fine even it didn’t feel like it. “Go be with your boyfriend.” “I will. Hey, you be safe alright?” “Yeah, I will. Thanks again.” “No problem. Talk to you later.” “Yeah later,” Buck waited for the line to go dead before pulling his phone away from his ear. It was getting closer to 8 am. Buck could crash out now or he could drive to the Diaz’s in time to take Christopher to school. Buck was out the door a few minutes later, bed unslept in and the apartment still ringing with the conversation from that morning.

#9 1 1 #9 1 1 lone star #9 1 1 fanfiction #buddie #buddie fic #unbetaed #wrote this instead of sleeping #i was in dire need of some buck/tk brotp

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221bsunsettowers · 4 years

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TK/Carlos: Please Don’t Go Where I Can’t Follow

Fandom: 9-1-1 Lone Star

Pairing: TK/Carlos

Prompt: Dissociation

Carlos is missing, kidnapped by a criminal he brought down during an undercover operation, and TK is frantic. When they do find Carlos, they realize he's been shown a faked photograph of a murdered TK, and has completely disassociated.

I promise that everything does end up okay at the end! I always have to have my hurt/comfort angst with a happy ending. I can’t whump these boys permanently.

I did research on dissociation before and while writing this piece, but I can't promise my writing is medically accurate. Please know I tried, and I apologize for any inaccuracies.

CW: dissociation, some blood and bruising, faked photograph of a character having been murdered, one use of the f word

Can also be read on Ao3 here

It had taken three hours and fourteen minutes to find Carlos.

It had taken three hours and fourteen minutes after TK's phone rang, after he was told Carlos had answered what should have been a simple domestic dispute call, and never came back. That the house he had been called to was deserted and had been for years. That the only sign anyone had been there was blood soaked into the rug.

Three hours and fourteen minutes and the scent was fading off of Carlos' hoodie, the one TK had plucked from the closet just that morning, smirking at his boyfriend before Carlos had walked over with a laugh and kissed the smirk right off TK's lips.

Any members of the 126 that were off shift had immediately joined the search, paired up with any police officers that weren't already running down leads. TK had wanted to be everywhere at once, out there finding Carlos, at the police station listening to the tips and reports, at their home in case Carlos managed to make it there.

In the end, it was decided for him, his father and Carlos' captain finding a nearby hallway at the police station where TK could pace up and down its length, ringing Carlos' cell phone over and over, closing his eyes and soaking in the sound of his boyfriend through the words of his voicemail.

TK didn't eat, didn't rest, didn't stop moving, the absence of the love of his life like molten lava under his skin, burning and stinging and bringing tears to his eyes, wearing out his strength and hope with every minute it settled and hardened in his veins. The hood of Carlos' sweatshirt was pulled over TK's head, and when it all got to be too much he would turn his face and breathe in, trying to let the rememnants of his boyfriend's scent bring him any sort of comfort.

When the call finally came, it was an officer reporting that he and his partner had spotted Carlos through the window of an abandoned warehouse. From what they could tell, he was tied to a chair, three guys guarding him. And Carlos had looked limp, unmoving, head hanging low, and there was definitely blood.

Backup was already running out of the station and to their squad cars, but TK had collapsed to the floor, weeping into Owen's shirt, clutching at him with clenched fists. "We know where he is," Owen murmured soothingly into TK's ear, arms wrapped around his son. "And we're going to go to him, and we'll take it from there, okay?"

TK nodded, sniffled, rising from the floor and tucking his trembling hands into the sleeves of Carlos' hoodie. Owen kept an arm around his waist as he led him to the car.

When they reached the warehouse, TK leapt from the car as soon as it had slowed down enough. He had spent the ride running through every world-ending possible scenario in his mind, unable to turn off the terrifying thought that Carlos was dead or dying and their forever had already ended. Owen had had to pull off the road for a moment so TK could fall to his knees in the dirt and retch next to the car, his dad's hand rubbing circles on his back.

Now that he was this close to Carlos, TK couldn't stop himself, body magnetized to his boyfriend's orbit, and he was sprinting through the door and dropping to his knees next to the chair, hands fumbling to grab the wrists an officer had just released from the zip ties.

Feeling a pulse, too slow but still steady, TK gave himself one shaky exhale of relief before forcing his gaze up to sweep the rest of the scene before him. Carlos' face was bruised, his shirt slashed front and back with what were clearly shallow knife strokes, leaving narrow cuts still trickling blood.

But what was most heartstopping was the look in Carlos' eyes.

It was like there was no one there. Like Carlos' body was an empty shell. TK had seen so many expressions in those beautiful eyes, but never a complete lack of anything.

"Carlos, baby, it's me," TK murmured, gingerly cupping Carlos' face between his trembling hands. "Can you answer me, sweetheart? Let me know what's going on?"

Michelle had appeared, but Carlos did not react when she carefully cut off the remaining fabric of his shirt, his arms limp and dropping back to their previous place the minute her hold was released. TK knew Michelle was fighting back tears as she started cleaning and bandaging Carlos' wounds. TK had no power to resist his own sobs, tears streaming down his cheeks as he continued calling to Carlos.

"Please, Carlos, please, please come back to me, please," TK begged through his tears, and at the lack of response again, whipped his head around to the nearest police officer. "What the hell happened? Do you know what's going on?"

"We found him like this," the man responded, expressed pained as he took in the unresponsive form of his fellow officer. "I don't know, but this guy," he jerked his head at the wide-eyed, terrified, and handcuffed teenager next to him, "says he'll tell us what happened if we put in a good word for him at the station."

"Absolutely, anything, please, just tell me what happened, tell me what's going on." TK barely registered he was begging again, this time at a complete and utter stranger.

"My boss knew he'd been involved in an undercover op ," the teenager gestured towards Carlos, "and he wanted to know where exactly in the station his drugs had ended up. The cop wouldn't tell him, even after he beat him up some, got the knife." TK's body flinched involuntarily, tense with anger and heartbreak, and the teen spoke even faster. "Then he showed the cop that photo, and instead of spilling the details he just totally shut down. Then you guys came in."

Bending down, the officer picked up the indicated photo from the ground, and let out an involuntary "Fuck". Eyeing TK uneasily, he sighed, handing over the picture.

"Oh god," TK choked out, the picture shaking violently in his hands. He knew it was a photoshop, a damn good one but still fake, of course he did, he was here alive wasn't he, but Carlos couldn't have known. All Carlos would have seen was TK's dead body, bullet hole in his forehead, bullet hole to the heart, blood soaking through that yellow hoodie they both knew so well (and TK couldn't believe they had gone to that level of detail, didn't want to think about how they had found that out, but of course that was the kind of thing that would have immediately convinced Carlos).

"Ok, ok I know what's going on," Michelle's shaky voice came from over TK's shoulder."He's having a dissociative episode. He couldn't handle what he was seeing and he...he deconnected. Loss of feelings, depersonalisation, derealisation..." She trailed off, and TK turned his gaze on her, eyes pleading.

"How do I fix this, Michelle? How do I get him back?" TK wasn't even sure his words were understandable at this point, he was crying so hard, but Michelle squared her shoulders, biting her lip.

"Ok, you should try engaging his senses. Give him something familar to feel, really ground him with your touch, anything that smells like you, talk to him, but TK, I can't...I can't promise, I don't know..." She choked back a sob.

TK immediately pulled off the hoodie he was wearing, knowing it now smelled like a mixture of him and Carlos, and threaded Carlos' arms through the sleeves, zipping it up to the very top and pulling the hood up around his boyfriend's face.

"Carlos, baby, it's me, it's TK, I'm right here, I love you so much, so so much baby," TK kept up an unending stream of endearments, gaze glued on Carlos' face, and he thought for a second he saw a flash of familarity in his eyes. Grabbing Carlos' hand, TK slid it up under his shirt, pressing his boyfriend's palm skin against skin right over TK's frantically beating heart, then used his other hand to gently cup the back of Carlos' neck, brushing their lips against each other.

For a moment, nothing happened.

Then TK heard a soft "Ty?" breathed against his lips, and he dared to open his eyes. He gasped as he saw Carlos start to cry, eyes full and familiar, and TK caught him as he collapsed off the chair and onto the floor.

"It's me, baby, I promise, it's me, I'm okay, I'm fine, it's all going to be alright," TK chanted into the crook of Carlos' neck, pressing his promises into his boyfriend's sweat-soaked skin. He clutched Carlos to him as their bodies shook and they sobbed, not even registering the warehouse clearing around them, Michelle pressing a hand to her heart as she tearfully moved outside with her kit at the ready.

"That photo," Carlos choked out, and TK shook his head, pulling back just enough so Carlos' could see his face.

"They faked it, I'm not hurt, not a scratch, I've just been a wreck over you, sweetheart," TK assured him, and Carlos shot forward, pressing their lips together hard enough that their teeth clinked together, and TK poured every ounce of love inside him into the bruising kiss. With a oh so grateful gasp, Carlos softened, and the kiss did too, mouths meeting again and again, Carlos seeming to settle more and more into his body as TK gently kissed his way across the bruises scattered across Carlos' face.

"Hey there Tiger," Carlos finally said, voice stronger, and TK laughed in sheer relief, resting their foreheads together.

"Hey there love," TK answered, and he saw a smile begin to turn up the edges of Carlos' lips. "There you are."

@bikingthroughhawkins @officereyes @i-had-bucky, @highqualitykhakis @meloingly

If you want to be added to my Tarlos tag list just let me know!

@badthingshappenbingo

#tarlos #tk x carlos #carlos x tk #tk strand #carlos reyes #bad things happen bingo #emotional whump #emotional hurt/comfort #hurt/comfort #angst with a happy ending #prompt answer #boys in love #fanfic #fanfiction #writing

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homerofthebraves · 4 years

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I’m sorry this is so late, but this is my gift for the @hockeynetwork winter gift exchange! It was a lot more fluff than I originally intended, but I hope you like it @antoineroussel!

“Paaaattttyyy. Pat Patty Patty Pats. Paaaaaaaaaaatts.” Travis drawled from his upside down position on the sofa. His feet were in the air, hanging over the back of the couch, kicking idly, and his head was almost on the floor. It was surprisingly comfortable. They were finally both back in Philly, for the first time in what felt like forever, getting ready for a season. He wondered if this is what the lockout felt like a few years ago. He’d have to ask one of the older guys. He turned his head to look at Nolan, who was sitting on the couch with his legs across TK’s torso, scrolling through his phone absently. Travis could hear the sounds coming from it. Patty was 100% on TikTok like the Gen-Z trash he was.

“What.” His voice was completely flat. He didn’t even bother to look at Travis, just paused the video he was watching. Travis blinked up at him. His hair was long, like really long, to the point where he’d started tying it back with ribbons or those elastic things TK started finding all over the house. It was currently down, pushed back behind his ear. His face looked weird from this angle, and Travis could, like see the inside of his nose. His beard was gone. He complained about masks making it itchy, but Travis just thought he was struggling to grow it out. It always came in patchy anyway. Patty made a noise and nudged his foot into TK’s side impatiently.

“What do you want, asshole?” He muttered. Travis frowned. He’d actually forgotten why he wanted Patty’s attention in the first place.

“I love you.”

“Oh my god you’re the worst.” He turned back to his phone, and Travis could hear the start of that annoying Lady Gaga trend.

Travis pouted, looking up at Nolan. “You love me.”

“Asshole.”

“An asshole you’re in looooveee with.” Travis responded, turning his pout into a smirk.

Nolan pulled his legs back, reached over and shoved Travis off the couch completely, backflipping him onto the floor.

“Motherfucking OW.” Travis complained from where he was now sprawled out on the floor. “If you put me on IR, I will…” Travis trailed off because Nolan started laughing. He was laughing loud and obnoxious and holy shit was that a snort.

“Holy-shit, Teeks- your face.” Nolan got out between huffs of laughter. Travis wanted to glare. He absolutely one hundred, two hundred percent wanted to glare. But he found himself smiling instead. It had been so long since he’d heard his boyfriend laugh like that, all carefree and happy. That’s not to say Nolan hadn’t been happy, but that last year and a half had been tough on him. He waited Nolan out, watching as tears formed in his eyes before could catch his breath. He stretched his legs out and cracked his back before standing back up. “You’re lucky I’m flexible.” He muttered, but the smile on his face completely betrayed any fake anger.

“The luckiest.” Nolan smirked, pleased with himself. Travis sat down on the couch and leaned into Nolan’s side, looking over his shoulder to Nolan’s phone that was playing one of this or that videos.

“We should make one of those.” Travis gestured to the video. Nolan was watching one of his sister’s tiktoks from the summer.

Nolan turned and gave Travis a look that basically said “who are you and what have you done with my boyfriend?” Which like, fair. Travis had been against social media, and was vocal about his low screen time. Which was definitely off-set by the amount of time he spent playing COD with Patty. But he made fun of anything and everything to do with social media.

He shrugged in response to Nolan’s question. “Could be fun? And like, I can totally carry you piggyback.” He laughed. “Nothing serious, all like, hockey stuff? Maybe some hunting?” Travis was definitely not the type to share like, health diagnosis on the internet, but he could say whether he preferred hunting or fishing, top shelf or five hole. That sort of thing.

Nolan nodded, opening the notes app on his phone. “Believe it or not, I did learn how to make these things just from being around them so much. Just like, no dancing.”

“No dancing.” Travis agreed. He could hold his own on a dancefloor, but these tiktok dance trends were way too complicated. He’d had enough of watching Haysie try to learn the WAP dance in the bubble. The images were scarred into his brain.

Nolan was writing out an actual list of this or that for them to choose from. Shoots right or shoots left, mouthguard, yes or no, hunting or fishing. Travis had no idea this much thought had to go into this.

“Blondes or brunettes?” Nolan asked, his voice almost bored.

“Depends on the day.” Nolan rolled his eyes at that. “Cause like,” Travis continued, “sometimes your hair is blond and sometimes it's brown and it’s very confusing.”

“Stupid question. I’m throwing it out.” Nolan decided before Travis could have a full on breakdown over the color of his boyfriend’s hair.

The tiktok took over an hour to film, which Travis was not expecting when he’d suggested the idea. Nolan was determined to finish it though, and it’s not like they had anything better to do with their time. They wouldn’t be heading into training camp until after New Years, and Christmas was over. Travis’ apartment wasn’t particularly decorated, since he’d come back to the States after the holiday. They’d had to clear out some space in the hallway, which had been covered in hockey equipment and various suitcases.

They’d ended up watching more of those videos to get ideas, for their own, and Travis was ready to never hear this stupid song again.

“We should ask to film the last one at the rink.” Nolan suggested, looking at his list. They’d covered hunting, fishing, planes and buses, equipment brands, soda or water, typical stuff.| “What’s the category?” Travis asked. He was currently digging through his gear bag looking for an extra Flyers beanie for baseball caps vs toques.

“Top shelf vs five hole. Maybe it could be fun to get some of the guys involved.”

It was Travis’ turned to raise an eyebrow. “Who are you and what have you done with my boyfriend?”

Nolan rolled his eyes in response and shrugged. “I mean, it could be fun. I haven’t seen them in a while, do something with the team.” His voice was especially mumbly now. It got that way when he was feeling emotional and didn’t want anyone else to know. Travis was tempted to tease him about it, but chirping Nolan about his emotions was like skating on an edge. One movement too far, and you fall flat on your face.

Instead of chirping Nolan about it, he smiled, walked over and kissed his head. “I’ll text the group chat. Tell G to make it mandatory team bonding.” TK lowered his voice into what was honestly a horrible impression of their captain. “Everyone better be in Patty’s tiktok tomorrow or your footing the next team dinner.” But it made Nolan chuckle so that’s all that really mattered.

“You’re an idiot.” He smiled, reaching over to press a kiss to TK’s lips. Travis pressed into it, reaching up to grab at Nolan’s long hair.

“Idea.” Travis said against Nolan’s lips. “We table this tiktok shit for tomorrow and we spend the next hour making out-” he cut off as Nolan but at his lip.

“Why are you so incapable of shutting up.” He muttered, pulling Travis into his lap. And like, yeah Travis was totally on board with this.

“Alright everyone! I have an announcement.” Travis yelled to the locker room as they got dressed for practice the next day. He’d forgotten to text the group chat after getting distracted by Nolan and then his phone was dead and then he figured he’d see everyone at practice anyway.

“Did you finally propose?” Provy shouted back, throwing a roll of tape at TK’s head. Which like, rude.

“Did Patty finally propose?” Haysie countered, laughing as Nolan threw a dirty sock at his face.

“No, no ones getting married. Patty wants everyone to help him make a tiktok because he’s Gen Z trash.”

The locker room exploded in laughter and chirps.

“What’s a tiktok?”

“Will we be expected to dance?”

“I had enough of that WAP shit in the playoffs.”

Travis tuned them all out. Nolan was taking the reins now, explaining to everyone what he needed to make this. It turns out he’d already arranged it with the PR team, which explained why he was all brains, brawn and beauty in this relationship. They would be spending an extra hour after practice filming this, but it was totally worth it in Travis’ opinion. Nolan was back on the ice in Flyers orange, where he belonged. The season wouldn’t be starting for another few weeks, and if goofing around with his teammates is what Nolan needed, then Travis was going to support him. Even if it meant Haysie giving him a piggyback ride on the ice.

#hockey rpf #winter gift exchange #travis konecny #nolan patrick #pattyteeks #philadelphia flyers #my fics #hockey rpf fic #hockey #flyers

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cupidmarwani-archive · 4 years

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Five Times the 126 Noticed Something + One Time They Said Something

Summary: Five times they notice the codependency and one time they speak up. (Also available on AO3 @cupidmarwani)

Warnings: Codependency, neglect(?)

WC: ~3.1k

1. Paul

Paul has made a career out of his instincts. They’re always spot on and he picks up on the things that other people miss at first. He’s learned to trust himself. After all, it’s saved his life and that of his crews countless times. It would be crazy to ignore the nagging feeling in the back of his head when he watches the way TK and Owen interact sometimes.

He can’t exactly put his finger on it at first. It’s not a life or death situation, or anything that would warrant mentioning it, but he can’t help the thought that something is off. They’re close, sure. Closer than a lot of parents and their children. Maybe it’s bordering on too close, however, because his heart does a strange flip inside his chest when he watches the way Owen pulls TK to the side and says something to him in a low voice with a hand on the back of his neck. It’s an affectionate gesture they’re all used to; Owen had done that to Carlos when TK was in a coma, to Judd when he had a meltdown, to Mateo after a rough call- it’s like a pat on the back. But what gets to him is the fact that TK looks seconds from bursting into tears, quietly nodding along to whatever’s being said.

When Paul glances around to find out if anyone else is seeing this, he finds no one. They must all be busy. It’s just him, trying to appear casual as he watches Owen go through whatever speech he has while TK just agrees and eventually starts chewing on his hoodie string. Owen doesn’t stop him, but he doesn’t let go of him either. Paul doesn’t believe Owen would hurt him, now, in the past, or ever, but something isn’t entirely right here.

Once their conversation is finished, the two hug, and Owen retreats to his office while TK wipes his eyes quickly. That’s when he decides to intervene. He walks up to TK and sets a hand on his shoulder to get his attention. The kid’s cheeks are flushed and eyes a little glassy.

“Everything okay?”unusual for him

“Yeah, yeah, I’m just-” TK takes in a shuddering deep breath. “I’m all good. I just don’t like disappointing Cap, you know?”

“Right.”

For today, Paul dismisses it as TK being sensitive to negativity, which isn’t too out of the ordinary, but he still can’t shake the feeling that there’s more to this than meets the eye.

2. Judd

It takes a while for Judd to get used to the new 126. He takes the same route to work, but the firehouse is different, and the people inside even more so. Of course he loves them just as he did his old crew, but there’s still parts of them he’s putting together in his head. While he knows how they all take their coffee, he’s still working on things like what marks their frustration or pain.

Out of them, he thinks he’s gotten the closest to Owen so far. They have shared experiences, if nearly two decades apart. And Owen has this fatherly pride about him that makes Judd feel safer than he’s willing to admit. No matter what happens, he’ll be safe and in good hands. That’s a good thing. They’re all under the guidance and protection of a damn good captain, one Judd wouldn’t trade for anything, and yet, he notices after a while that Owen can be a bit strange at times with his son.

Not in a bad way, it’s just… a lot. Judd kind of brushes it off as them being really close, but sometimes it gets to him. They’re on a call, with another structurally unsound building, and when Owen insists on going in once again, he’s not talking normally on the radio. He’s not updating them on the situation, he just keeps asking about TK over and over. How he’s holding up, if he’s alright, what he’s doing.

“Cap, he’s fine,” Judd eventually says. “Focus up. Where are you in there?”

That mostly gets Owen back on track, but when he comes out of the building with the survivors, the first thing he does it look for TK, who promptly launches himself into Owen’s arms and clings to him, telling him to be careful. Yeah, they’re close, but it’s… Judd can’t put his finger on it. Come to think of it, the two of them live and work together. The only time he’s seen them apart was when TK was shot, and even then, Owen rarely left the house.

“They’re really close, aren’t they?” he mutters to Paul.

Paul nods, but doesn’t say anything. What is there to say? They just watch, and both TK and Owen seem much more at ease and focused now that they’ve had that moment. Judd has never been that close with his own father, even when he was a little kid who idolized him. While he never doubted his father loved him, he’s sure that he wasn’t this invested in Judd’s every move either.

Owen helps the survivors to the paramedics while TK watches him with a careful eye. He’s clearly searching for any injuries or any sign of a toll on Owen’s already weakened lungs. There’s nothing there, but TK still jumps when Judd clears his throat.

“He’s okay.”

“Yeah, I know.”

Judd hesitates for a moment before continuing. “Are you?”

TK doesn’t answer him.

3. Marjan

It’s the middle of the night when Marjan wakes up. She isn’t sure what caused it at first, but a quick survey of the bunks shows that TK and Owen are both out of bed. Curiosity piqued, she gets up and heads into the main area, where the two of them are on the couch with TK asleep, head on Owen’s lap. Owen seems to be headed that way too.

“Everything okay?” she whispers, coming closer. TK’s eyelids flutter, but he doesn’t wake up. It’s good to see him resting, she know he’s had a hard time falling and staying asleep ever since he was shot. Many a night she’s received texts from him at indecent hours. Everyone has. “What happened?”

Owen cracks an eye open to look at her. “He doesn’t sleep by himself anymore. Not when he’s had a nightmare. I’ll be honest, it helps me sleep better too.”

Instead of commenting on the fact that TK is 26, and Owen is his father, Marjan goes to the kitchen to make herself some tea. While she boils the water, there’s rustling and a distressed sound, followed by Owen’s voice, too soft for her to make out words, but loud enough to hear the soothing tone no doubt intended for TK. It must really be a rough night. She pulls two more mugs out of the pantry and digs out their favorite blends of tea to hopefully help with the struggle. While she’s never been shot, she has her fair share of trauma she’s struggled through, and is no stranger to nights like these.

Upon her return with the tea, TK is curled up with his knees to his chest, resting his head on Owen’s shoulder and staring off into the distance. She presses tea into both of their hands and takes a seat across from them.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

TK shakes his head and Owen shrugs. He wraps one of his arms around his son as they share their tea, and the three of them spend the night out there together. Marjan falls asleep last, and notices how they sleep much easier on the couch together than they do in their bunks, as though TK is still a young child who needs comfort through the night. Maybe he is. It’s none of her business, though, since it’s not like it’s hurting anybody, and she simply files away the information to deal with later. Whatever makes them happy, she supposes.

4. Mateo

TK has the day off. He’s out with Carlos, headed to some flower thing or whatever to look at all the spring blossoms and have a date like they rarely get. Mateo’s happy for the two of them. It’s the kind of thing they deserve. And yet, the entire day, Owen is completely off his game. He’s distracted and on his phone more often than he’s not, to the point that even Judd seems to have noticed, and Judd isn’t usually the first to pick up on those cues.

It’s not really a big deal until they’re on a call, and Owen won’t get off his cell phone long enough to pay attention to the fact that Marjan and Paul are trying to get his attention on the radio from the rescue inside the burning building. Seeing someone in charge of their safety so completely distracted is scary. What if something happens to them because the captain is distracted?

In a moment of (stupid) bravery, Mateo grabs Owen’s phone right out of his hand and shoves it into his own pocket, where it clicks against his much cheaper flip phone. Now he has his attention, and also his frustration. Just as he opens his mouth to chastise him, Mateo points at his lit up radio.

“Marjan and Paul have been trying to get to you for a while,” he says. “You should answer them.”

As Owen responds to them, he doesn’t take his eyes off Mateo’s pocket, as if the world is ending and the only way to save it is to once again have his phone in his possession. Mateo holds his ground, no matter how scary it is, until the call is over and everyone is safe again. Marjan and Paul ask what happened, now that they’re in the clear. Mateo doesn’t have it in him to tell them, and Owen just says that something was going on with TK.

Mateo returns his phone and Owen is on a call right away, stepping away from all of them and talking rapidly into it for what feels like forever. It’s weird. If Tk is actually in trouble, they’d all be on their way to help, and he would have at the very least sent a message to one of them as well. This silence isn’t like him. And it’s not normal for Owen to be this worked up, even after he hangs up and says that everything is alright with TK. If it’s fine, why was he so upset?

Something isn’t really adding up, but it’s not Mateo’s place to get involved, he doesn’t think. It probably won’t happen again, and no one got hurt. Still, what if it does happen again, and this time someone actually gets in trouble because Owen is too busy on his phone to take care of his team? Mateo doesn’t want to die, and he definitely doesn’t want any of his crew to die either. He looks to Marjan, because she always knows what to do, but she’s staring at the back of Owen’s head with an unreadable expression he isn’t necessarily eager to decipher. It can’t be good if she’s that upset. Paul and Judd seem just as put off. Mateo decides to bring it up later, in private, and find out what’s going on.

5. Michelle

It’s not even a bad injury. Owen tripped over his own feet in the firehouse and managed to land on his wrist wrong. Michelle’s 99% sure it’s just a mild sprain, but she’s taking him to the hospital either way just to be safe, given the job. He’s going to be fine, and he’s calm and composed as ever. Most of the team is, too.

Key word being most.

TK is borderline hysterical, asking Owen over and over again if he’s alright, how bad it hurts. He’s pulled Michelle aside three times to ask if she’s sure that it’s nothing major. He questions if Owen fell because of his cancer, if he could have injured himself more than what’s obvious, if she’s sure his vitals are okay. It’s not just worry over his dad, it’s a whole new level of complete panic that’s so unlike him given the work they all do for a living. She now has a second patient to deal with, as though Owen isn’t a handful in of himself when she recommends he get checked out at the ER.

She leaves Owen in Tim and Nancy’s care while she gets TK to sit down and take deep breaths because he’s started hyperventilating. She can’t figure out why he’s so upset, but for now, the most important thing is calming him down before he hurts himself. The last time she watched him struggle this hard to breathe, he had been shot. This is something completely different. Something that sets off more than a few red flags.

“TK, honey, can you hear me?”

He nods jerkily.

“Okay. I need you take deep breaths for me, alright. In, hold it, out. C’mon, just like me.”

After a moment, it becomes clear he’s trying, but it just isn’t enough. None of the other members of the 126 are stepping in, so they don’t seem to know what to do either. Maybe Owen would if he wasn’t already loaded into the back of the ambulance with the other two paramedics.

“Your dad’s okay,” she tries. His whole body is shaking with the force of his panic. “He’s just fine, I promise. Trust me. He just hurt his arm a little, and we’re only sending him to the hospital as a precaution. He’s okay. You’re okay.”

And yet, the only way she manages to calm him is bringing him to the ambulance and letting him ride along. He grabs onto Owen’s uninjured hand and just sits beside him quietly, looking up at his father’s face every so often as though looking for signs that he’s hurt worse than he initially let on. Michelle can’t help wondering why he would react so strongly.

Owen and TK are both off shift for the day because Owen has chemo when they all bring it up. It’s been a couple weeks since the falling incident, and as they all eat dinner, Judd blurts out, “Anyone else think something’s kinda weird with Cap and TK?”

Instantly, every fork on the table stills. They’ve all seen something at this point, sometimes more than once. Marjan takes a sip of her water and tells them that she saw them sleeping on the couch one night, and Owen told her they can’t sleep without each other anymore. Nothing else helps Tk’s nightmares, and Owen just feels better knowing his son is safe and sound. From there, they’re each sharing moments they’ve seen that just don’t feel right. The way TK cried at an expression of disapproval, Owen forgetting to look after his team because he was worried about TK not answering his phone. All the little things they’ve seen over the course of their time at the 126. The two live together. Owen broke into TK’s apartment back in New York because he wasn’t answering his phone. Every shift, they come in and leave together. They’re so worried about each other it surpasses the normal, healthy familial bond.

“You don’t think…” Mateo starts, trailing off and looking at Michelle.

“God, no, absolutely not,” she says immediately. “Not even a little bit. No. But they are really really codependent.”

Paul nods. “Yeah, I mean, I get they’ve been through some shit, but this isn’t healthy.”

“And it’s a danger to the team,” Marjan adds, clearly remembering when Owen was too distracted by TK to respond to her and Paul’s distress call.

For a moment, they return to their dinner, no one sure how to go forward with addressing this. There isn’t a right way to tell your captain and crewmate that they’re codependent and should probably see someone about it. Michelle finally speaks again after a few bites of salad.

“I think we should talk to TK first. Owen’s stubborn, even if it comes from a place of love.”

“Or we could talk to them both at once,” Judd suggests. “That way no one feels alienated.”

“Five hundred dollar word from the cowboy.”

“Shut it, Marwani.”

Marjan flicks some mashed potatoes at him, which he narrowly avoids. Luckily Paul has the good sense to stop him from retaliating, otherwise everyone would be scrubbing food off every surface in the dining area for hours, which is very much not the point of any of this. Once things calm down, they decide to talk to Owen and TK on the next shift, even if it’s awkward, because they have to protect each other, and that includes their captain and TK.

When TK and Owen come in the next morning, the whole crew are standing around in the truck bay, like this is an intervention. It kind of is. Before they can ask what’s happening, Paul asks them to have a seat, and they all gather up in a lopsided circle.

“Is everything okay?” Owen asks.

Michelle is the designated speaker, for the most part. Everyone figured she’d seem the least confrontational. “We’ve just all noticed some things that we’d like to talk about,” she says. TK looks to Owen and lifts his hoodie string to his mouth in a nervous habit they’ve all watched him indulge. “Obviously you guys are close, and it’s good that you are.”

TK looks up at her. “But?”

“But we’re worried that maybe you two are a little bit… too dependent on each other. Not being able to sleep separately, is-- TK, you’re 26. You should be able to sleep on your own. Owen, you should be able to sleep without knowing exactly where your son is. I get that you’ve both been through things, but this isn’t normal.”

“I don’t see why any of you should have an opinion this, when-”

Paul interrupts him. “It put our lives at risk, Cap. You were busy texting TK when he was out with Carlos, and Marjan and I could have died because you weren’t paying attention. And it puts your lives at risk, too. Having a panic attack because your dad fell isn’t healthy.”

“I just hope that maybe,” Michelle says, cutting back into the conversation, “bringing what we see to your attention might mean you guys can talk about having better boundaries in place. Maybe see a professional about it so you can function without each other.”

TK and Owen share another one of those looks, and the 126 can only hope they’ve gotten through to them.

#911 lone star #911ls #owen strand #tk strand #mine #fic

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marjansmarwani · 4 years

Text

tender-hearted sadness pulls me through the day

7.9k || ao3

Carlos is hurt, badly, and TK is faced both with the awful possibility of losing him and the fact that his parents still don't know about them. He promised Carlos he could tell them in his own time though, and he doesn't intend to break that promise for anything. Even if it means he can't be there, even if it means he has to hope from a distance. He would do anything for Carlos, after all.

aka that Carlos’s parent’s fic I’ve been working on for what feels like forever. It’s finally done and since @officereyes was the one who insisted I write it in the first place and it is her birthday, it feels only right to offer it as a part 2/on the actual correct day gift (surprise). I hope you enjoy it Jamie!

This idea was also requested by @noxsoulmate after I had already started writing it so I also hope you enjoy, and that it was worth the wait! This was started around the same time that 2x04 aired so it is definitely no longer canon compliant, though I did tweak a few things as the season progressed. Thanks to @justaswampdemon for reading through it last night to tell me if any of it actually made sense or not because I wasn’t sure after working on it for so long!

--------------------

TK couldn’t stop staring at his hands.

They were shaking and though he had nearly scrubbed them raw he could still feel the memory of the blood that had coated them only a half-hour before. It was Carlos’s blood and the reminder sent his hands trembling all over again. The sight of the accident was still so fresh in his mind. It was everywhere, trapped in all of his senses — the fear of realizing just who it was trapped in the crushed vehicle, the overwhelming scent of the blood stuck in his head, the sound of the heart monitor flatlining and his own desperate pleas for Carlos to stay with them, the helplessness of Carlos’s life leaking away under his fingers — he couldn't shake it. He knew he wasn’t likely to until he saw Carlos, until he had proof that he was okay.

But he was also a medic and he knew that the alternative, the thing he was trying so hard not to think about, to not put any energy into, was just as likely an outcome as any.

His anxiety spiral is interrupted by the sound of frantic footsteps that pause as they grow closer to his seat.

“TJ?”

He sat bolt upright at the sight of Carlos’s parents, expressions tense and eyes full of fear, before him.

“Mr. and Mrs. Reyes,” he stammered, standing up and shoving his shaking hands into the pockets of his pants, “hi. Uh, have they told you anything yet?”

“No,” Mrs. Reyes said fearfully, “we just got here.”

TK nodded, anxiously twisting at the interior of his pockets, “I’m sure someone will be by soon,” he assured her, “he’s only been here for about an hour.”

“And how long have you been here?” Carlos’s father asked him, studying him with a piercing gaze.

“About an hour,” TK repeated, “I was on shift, we responded to the accident. I rode in on the ambulance with him and since it was the end of my shift anyways and my Captain knows Carlos and I are...close, she told me just to stay.”

He met Mr. Reyes’s gaze, refusing to look away and hoping desperately that he hadn’t noticed his falter. It wasn’t a lie, but the omission weighed on him. Never once since their start had he denied his feelings for Carlos. He had made that mistake once, in the very beginning, and it had nearly prevented what they had become. But he had no other choice; he had made Carlos a promise. And he wouldn’t break it, not for anything.

The other man’s father nodded, eyes zeroing in on the paramedic badge on his shirt. “I thought you said you were a firefighter?”

“I was, the paramedic thing is pretty new. We lost one at our station, during the volcano, and I was already dual certified from New York so…” he trailed off with a shrug, his gaze drifting from the parents before him to the doors of the trauma wing Carlos had been wheeled into upon their arrival.

“You treated him?”

TK snapped his gaze back to find Mrs. Reyes looking at him with wide eyes. He swallowed, and nodded, “I did, ma’am,” he confirmed, voice soft with repressed emotion.

“And?” she asked him desperately, eyes shining with unshed tears, “How is he? How is my boy?”

How did he tell them? How did you tell your boyfriend’s parents that not even an hour ago you had been scared out of your mind that he was going to die in your arms even as you and your team worked desperately to save him? How did you do all of that without showing the emotion, how did you do that when they don’t know — when they can’t know — that his presence is what allows you to sleep soundly each night, that his smile is the thing you most look forward to seeing each and every day?

They were both looking at him as if he held all the answers and to be fair, he did. In terms of what had happened, at least. He was just as clueless as anyone else as to what would come next.

“He was involved in a very serious accident,” he settled on. “He lost a lot of blood but we managed to get him stabilized in the field. That’s all I know though. If I knew more…”

He trailed off but Carlos’s mother shook her head, reaching out to place a warm and trembling hand on his arm, “Thank you,” she told him, “for telling us, and for saving him. Carlitos is so lucky to have such a wonderful friend.”

“Of course,” he said without hesitation, even though her well-intentioned words stung, even though he had to swallow what would have come next: he would do anything for Carlos.

------------

It’s another few hours before his dad and the rest of the 126 show up. He may have been exaggerating when he had told Mrs. Reyes that his shift was ending when they arrived at the hospital. The reality was that Tommy had told him to stay. She had said that she and Nancy could handle the last few hours without him and that he would be too distracted to focus for the remainder of the shift so he may as well just stay. She had been right, but that meant there had still been a shift to be finished before anyone else was available to join his vigil.

A doctor had come by, a short while ago to give them an update. The surgery had gone well and while they had repaired the damage, they cautioned them that he was not out of danger yet, that the next several hours would be key. The knowledge had settled like a lead weight in TK’s stomach, the dread seeping through his veins. He saw his own fear clearly reflected in the eyes of Carlos’s parents and knows that they are all connected by it, even if they don’t know it.

When the doctor told them that Carlos was being moved to a recovery room where he would be closely monitored and that a nurse would be by when he was settled to let them know, TK realized a whole other layer to this nightmare. He won’t be able to be there. There is no way he can justify sitting by Carlos’s bedside to his parents as a “friend from work.” In order to be there for Carlos, he would have to tell them the truth, and he can’t do that. Not when he made Carlos a promise.

That’s how his team finds him: alone in the waiting room, leg anxiously bouncing against the floor as he stares in the direction of the recovery rooms, wanting nothing more than to be able to be beside Carlos, to have concrete evidence that he hadn’t lost him.

He allowed himself to be pulled into hugs and subjected to comforting pats before anyone asks the question he’s been dreading. It’s Marjan that does, her unwavering and empathetic gaze studying him as she speaks the words: “Is he still in surgery?”

“No, he’s in recovery now.” TK assured them, allowing them a moment to take a breath of relief before he continued, “The doctors said that the next few hours will be crucial, that those will be what really makes the difference. So we’re just...hoping for the best.”

They all nodded, but Paul’s piercing gaze studied him, “If he’s in recovery, why are you out here and not in there?”

TK bit his lip, turning his gaze downwards. He and Carlos hadn’t exactly shared their conflict about his parents with their friends. If TK was being honest, he had been hoping they wouldn’t ever have to, that they would cross that bridge before it ever became an issue. Clearly, the universe had other plans.

“His parents are in there,” he replied, hoping that maybe they wouldn’t push, that maybe they could just leave it there.

But these were their friends, and they wouldn't be so easily satisfied.

“Is he not out to them?” Marjan asked gently, taking the seat beside him.

“No, he’s out to them it’s just...complicated.”

“How complicated can it be?” Judd asked as he settled into a seat across from them, “he’s out and you two are solid. Seems pretty uncomplicated to me.”

TK didn’t know how to explain it, exactly. “They don’t know he’s in a relationship,” he settled on, “and he’s not ready to tell them. We...talked about it a few months ago, and I told him that was fine. That we could move at his pace. I mean,” he broke off here with a shrug, meeting the eyes of his teammates, “it’s the least I can do for him, right? Extend him the same understanding he gave me?”

The others exchanged glances that TK couldn’t read. Judd looked in the direction of the recovery rooms, “This ain’t right kid,” he said softly, “Carlos would want you there. You should be there.”

TK shook his head firmly, “I promised him he could tell them on his own terms, Judd. I told him I would wait as long as he needed. I can’t make that choice for him, and I won’t. I made him a promise.”

There was silence in the wake of his words. The others exchanged glances and TK looked away, not wanting to see their pity. He knew he was making the right choice, but that didn’t make the reality of it any easier to face. Carlos had nearly died in his arms just a few hours ago. The cold fear of losing him was still fresh in his mind, he still hadn’t been able to shake the chill from his bones. And now he was in a room just down the hall and TK couldn’t be there. Of all the challenges they had faced, this might just be the worst one yet.

Paul let out a low breath and shook his head, “I hear you man, and it’s admirable. I get you wanting to respect Carlos’s wishes, but you’ve got to think about yourself too. Maybe it would be easier for you to not be here? Sitting here and not being able to be with him has to be hard. You could go home, wait there instead. We’ll let you know if there are any updates.”

TK gave him a tight smile, “I appreciate it, but no. Even though I can’t be with him, I can’t imagine not being as close to him as possible. I’m not going anywhere.”

------------

His friends come and go, but TK simply waits. He assures them that he’s fine when asked, but otherwise, he is not great company. All he can manage to do is sit quietly and wait. And hope. He takes a turn around the waiting room, he bounces his leg anxiously at his seat, he fiddles with his necklace. He does everything he can to keep his body busy while his mind is fully occupied.

He knows that right down the hall his boyfriend, the person who he might just love more than anyone else on this planet, is in a medically induced coma. He knows that he can’t be there, and he knows why.

That doesn’t mean he hates it any less.

That also doesn’t mean that the last image he has of Carlos — bloody and crashing on a gurney being rushed to a trauma room — is going to leave his mind any time soon. He needs to see him. He needs visual confirmation to cancel out the nightmare image running through his head. He knows that he can’t, not right now, but he won’t leave until he can.

The waiting room empties and fills again several times during his vigil. The daylight he had entered in had faded long ago and the dark night sky was visible each time the hospital doors slid open. It was still a few hours before he saw Mr. and Mrs. Reyes leave from his corner of the waiting room. They stepped through the hospital doors hand in hand, Mr. Reyes rubbing comforting circles on his wife’s back as they headed back to their car, presumably to go home and get a few hours of sleep.

TK, who had been coming close to dozing off in his seat, was suddenly wide awake. Carlos’s parents were gone, he could go see him. He was out of his seat in an instant, his feet carrying him towards the door he had been staring at all day before his head could properly catch up. It wasn’t until he neared the door that he slowed, that he processed.

It felt almost wrong to be sneaking in. He felt almost guilty for waiting for Carlos’s parents to leave, for jumping on the opportunity the moment it presented itself. But he needed to see Carlos. He knew that he wouldn’t be able to settle until he did. He could not have the last image of him in his mind be what he had looked like when they exited the ambulance. He may have gotten the same updates from the doctor but that did nothing to ease his fear. He had nearly felt Carlos die under his hands all those hours ago. He needed to feel him breathing too.

He stepped in quietly, though he knew there was no danger of waking him. He had barely made it over the threshold before he froze, nearly toppled by the wrongness of seeing Carlos so still. To the casual observer, he probably looked like he was sleeping. But TK knew Carlos Reyes. The man was an energetic sleeper. He moved constantly in the night, always shifting and reaching out to pull TK closer when he felt he had strayed too far away. Always striving to press his body against his, always keeping them close; even in sleep. But it was more than that. His face was all wrong. Carlos’s face was expressive, even in sleep. Whatever he was thinking or feeling or dreaming was always laid out in full display for TK to read but now his face was blank. That more than anything struck TK as so foreign, so unusual.

He took a deep, wavering breath as he crossed the room, running his eyes over him as he drew closer. From the outside, he didn’t look too badly injured, but TK knew with a cold certainty that most of the damage was hidden by bandages under the blankets. He knew that there was so much more to this than met the eye, that as wrong as Carlos looked in this bed it was a far sight better than the alternative — than what he had feared from the moment they arrived on the scene.

“Hey babe,” he said softly as he reached the side of the bed, reaching out to run a hand through Carlos’s curls, “you look better than you did earlier. I hope you’re feeling better too.”

He paused here, taking another moment to study him up close now. He bit his lip against the tears that wanted to come. He didn’t know how much time he would have here, he wasn’t going to waste any of it crying.

“I know it’s going to take some time,” he said instead when he managed to steady his voice, “and I want you to know you should take all the time you need. We’ll be fine until you’re ready. I’ll be fine. I just,” he broke off, took a steadying breath, and started again, “I just want you to know that I probably won’t be here a lot, just in case you ever wonder why you can’t hear me, if you can hear any of us. I need you to know it’s not because I don’t want to be here or that I don’t love you. Because I do, so much. And there is nowhere I would rather be than right here with you at all times. But I made you a promise, and I intend to keep it. It’s…” he trailed off, taking another breath as he leaned forward, taking Carlos’s hand in his own, “it’s the least I can do,” he finished softly.

He lapsed into silence then, savoring in the sight of his chest lightly rising and falling with each breath. Not so long ago he thought he might never see that again. He had never realized just how much he had taken the concept for granted. He vowed that he never would again.

He leaned forward now, resting his head on the arm not intertwined with Carlos’s. “I just need you to come back to us,” he said quietly. “I need you to come back to me. I don’t want to face life without you. Don’t make me, please.”

Even though he knew there would be no reaction, even though he knew the other man was heavily sedated, he studied his face for any hint of recognition, any glimmer of hope he could sustain himself with. There was none and it was that truth and the weight of Carlos’s hand in his that saw him off into a fitful sleep.

------------

The sound of footsteps woke TK, causing him to sit bolt upright and glance around frantically, heart thudding in his chest.

“Relax,” an unfamiliar voice instructed, “we definitely don’t need a cardiac patient on our hands, on top of everything else.”

It took several tries to blink the sleep out his eyes before he could make out the scene in front of him. He was in Carlos’s room. He must have fallen asleep here. He pulled himself fully upright, stretching and rubbing at the back of his neck with a grimace as he studied the nurse checking Carlos’s vitals. She glanced over at him with a raised eyebrow, “Good morning.”

“What time is it?” he croaked out.

“Just past 6, so I’d imagine if anyone were to come back after going home to sleep for the night they’d likely be back soon.”

“How’d you…”

She shrugged as she checked Carlos’s IV, “Call it an educated guess. I mean, I know you paramedics are pretty dedicated but I have yet to see any of you spend an entire day in the waiting room for a patient. Figured there had to be a bit more to it than meets the eye. That, or I have to call security on you.”

“He’s my boyfriend,” TK said softly, reaching out to take Carlos’s limp hand in his own, tenderly rubbing his thumb across it, “but his parents don’t really know. It’s...complicated.”

The nurse’s eyes softened as she studied him, “You probably have almost an hour before anyone else shows up, visiting hours don’t officially start until 7 anyways. After that, you should try to get some sleep. You’re starting to look like you should have a bed of your own.”

TK shook his head, “I’m fine, thanks.”

“Uh-huh,” she said, sounding wholly unconvinced. “Well if you are around later and want an update feel free to ask for me at the nurses’ station. My name’s Becky.”

“Thank you, Becky,” he said with a small smile, “you have no idea how much I appreciate that.”

She waved off his thanks as she headed towards the door. She paused on the threshold, turning back to study him again, “Hey, Paramedic?”

“TK,” he provided.

“TK, then. If I find out you’re lying to me and that I should have called security…”

He gave her a grin and a tired laugh, “Then you know where I work,” he reminded her, gesturing towards his uniform, “pretty sure you’ll be able to track me down.”

“Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that. I hope everything works out for you two and for what it’s worth, he’s doing okay.”

“Thanks, Becky,” he said softly, turning his gaze back to Carlos’s still form before Becky smiled at them from the doorway and stepped quietly out of the room, shutting the door behind her.

--------------------

“This is an intervention,” Paul announced.

TK looked up sharply to see his team gathered around him several hours later. He had slipped back into the waiting room around 6:30, heedful of Becky’s warning. It was now just past 10 and he was currently being stared down by his team. He furrowed his brow in confusion and was just about to ask exactly what the hell Paul meant by that when Marjan continued.

“You’ve been here for over 24 hours now, TK. You’re still wearing yesterday’s uniform, you haven’t eaten and I doubt you’ve slept much.”

“I got a few hours!” he interjected but faltered when he was met with 4 equally unimpressed looks.

“And while I’m sure that was adequate sleep,” she continued in a tone that made it clear she did not in fact believe that, “you need more than that. Preferably in a bed. Preferably in your own bed.”

TK looked down and Judd continued, voice gentle, “You need to take care of yourself, kid. You can’t be there for him if you keel over. Let us help you out.”

TK bit at his lip. He knew they were right, logically. There was only so long he could keep this up. Soon enough his body would start protesting. He could already feel the effects of little sleep and no food in his sluggish thoughts. Realistically he knew they were right, but he couldn’t stand the thought of leaving Carlos. He wasn’t out of the woods yet. The thought that something might happen when he wasn’t there was enough to keep him rooted to his spot in the waiting room, consequences be damned. “I can’t leave him,” he choked out, “if something were to happen…”

He trailed off, but Paul simply shook his head, “Nope, you’re coming with us. Judd and I are going to take you home. You’re going to shower, change, eat something and get at least 4 hours of sleep. Then - and only then - we’ll bring you back. Marjan and Mateo will stay here and let us know if anything changes. If it does we’ll bring you right back, promise.”

TK scanned the faces of his friends. They wore matching looks of determination, and he knew that this was not an argument he was going to win. He nodded, pulling himself out of his seat and throwing another glance in the direction of Carlos’s room. He felt a hand on his arm and looked over to see Marjan giving him a sad smile, “Don’t worry, we won’t let you miss anything.”

“Yeah dude, we’ve got this!” Mateo assured him as he plopped into an empty seat.

TK gave them both a grateful smile. He wished he could have offered more, but he couldn’t find the words. Nothing his mind produced seemed adequate enough to express the level of gratitude he felt for each and every one of them. He hoped they knew.

He allowed himself to be led to Judd’s truck and as they pulled away from the hospital, his mind began to wander. Logically, he knew Carlos was in good hands, that leaving the hospital did nothing to hurt his chances. But not being there just felt wrong, as if he was tempting fate. As if his desperate hope could only have an effect from within the same building.

TK was so lost in his thoughts he didn’t notice how close they were to their destination until the truck came to a halt outside of the condo. He froze as he looked at it, the thought of stepping foot inside their shared home without Carlos washing over him. He knew he was being too quiet, he knew that the other two had noticed that something was wrong. Judd eyed him in the rearview mirror.

“Is this okay?” he asked. “I can bring you to your dad’s if you’d rather, but I figured all your stuff is here so…”

“No,” TK said, voice too soft. “No,” he tried again, voice a little more sure this time, “you’re right Judd, all my stuff is here. It’s fine, really. Thanks for driving me.”

“Yeah, we’re not just going to leave you,” Paul told him, pushing open the passenger side door and climbing out, “we’re staying with you to make sure you actually do the things covered in our bargain. Plus,” he added in a gentler tone as he opened TK’s door and met his eyes, “you don’t need to be alone right now.”

TK swallowed and nodded. He slid out of the truck without a word, crossing to the front door and pulling his keys out of his pocket. He inserted his key into the door with trembling hands and pushed it open, holding it open behind him for Judd and Paul. Once they were all inside he shut it behind them, the sound of the lock clicking into place the only sound. They stood in silence as TK looked around, trying to take in the once familiar surroundings that now felt so foreign. The clutter of day to day life was scattered throughout the living space, left waiting for them to return home and resume their lives. It was a cruel reminder of just how sudden this had been; of how much they stood to lose.

Paul gave him a gentle shove towards the stairs, interrupting his reverie, “Go and get showered and changed, we’ll work on the food. Come back down when you’re ready.”

TK nodded and ascended the stairs without a word. He entered their bedroom without really looking at anything, making a beeline for the dresser so as to avoid the sight of the haphazardly made bed; left rumpled when they had both decided on a late start the previous morning, abandoning their usual morning routine in favor of other pursuits. He grabbed the first pants and hoodie he found, pulling them out and heading to the bathroom without even a glance at the garments in his hand.

Several minutes later he was forced to admit that the hot water felt good. It revived him in a way the restless sleep at Carlos’s bedside hadn’t, and it allowed him to peel back the layers of everything to find some of the positives. Namely that Carlos had survived surgery, that while he wasn’t out of the woods there had been no changes for the worst (or for the better, but a hot shower was a place for optimism.)

He stepped out feeling renewed. As he reached for his towel he reminded himself that it hadn’t even been 36 hours. In the grand scheme of things, that was practically nothing. For injuries like those, it was perfectly normal. There was no reason to expect the worst, not yet.

He pulled on the clothes he had grabbed, soft joggers and one of Carlos’s APD hoodies that he had claimed as his own months ago and tried to keep focusing on the positives, but his optimism faded along with the lingering warmth of the shower. Maybe the worst hadn’t happened and he was certainly grateful for that, but where they were was a world away from “good.”

He made his way down the stairs, turning the corner to find Judd and Paul in quiet conversation in the kitchen. They looked up when he appeared, Judd answering the question on his lips before he could even ask it: “No, no updates from the other two. Seems like all’s quiet there.”

TK nodded gratefully and slid into the seat across from them. Judd slid a bowl of something that TK knew objectively should smell amazing in front of him, but all he could do was stare at it.

“Thank you, but…”

“No,” Judd cut him off firmly, “you need to eat. Unless you want to be the one to tell my wife that you wouldn’t eat the food she sent over for you?”

TK sighed and picked up the fork pointedly taking a bite, and Judd huffed out a laugh, “Smart choice.”

The other two returned to their own bowls and they ate in companionable silence. TK appreciated their understanding. He was beyond grateful to his friends for everything, but even the thought of any conversation right in this moment felt like torture. The only thoughts he could manage right now were of Carlos, and the checklist of tasks required by his team before he would be allowed to return.

He finished his food in silence, getting up and crossing to the sink to rinse it out and place it in the dishwasher. He had just reached the sink when a hand stopped him, taking the bowl from his grasp.

“I’ve got this,” Judd told him, “you need sleep.”

“4 hours,” Paul reminded him from the counter, “in a bed.”

“If there are any updates…”

“We’ll let you know,” Paul assured him.

TK swallowed and nodded, turning and heading back upstairs with a soft thanks. He entered their bedroom again, this time unable to ignore the queen-sized elephant in the room. He lowered himself onto his side of the bed, muscle memory guiding him to lay on his left side, giving him a full view of Carlos’s empty pillow.

The sight of him hit him harder than anything else and suddenly he felt as if walls were closing in around him. All the feelings he had been pushing back, holding at bay so he didn’t fall apart at the wrong moment breached his tenuous barriers. The catalyst grew harder to see as his vision was clouded with tears. He rolled over, turning his back to the reminder as his body shook with sobs too long repressed. He let 36 hours of pain and fear and panic out as he lay in their bed, hoping desperately that the aching emptiness beside him did not become his new reality.

Eventually, he drifted off into a fitful sleep; head resting on his tear-soaked pillow and clinging to the desperate hope that when he woke up, things would look better.

————-

Things didn’t look much better when he woke up, but his head did feel a little clearer.

He woke with a jolt at the sensation of someone lightly shaking him. He sat up quickly to find Paul standing next to him, hands raised in a placating manner, “Easy man, it’s just me.”

TK could feel fear creeping through his mind. If Paul was waking him up then…

“What happened?” he choked out. He knew he shouldn’t have left. He should have fought them more, he should have insisted on staying, no matter what.

“Nothing,” Paul assured him, voice even and soothing, “everything’s fine. It’s just been a bit over 4 hours and while personally, I would love to let you sleep longer I figured it was only fair to wake you up and let you decide. There are no new updates and no one is going to judge you for taking the time to get a little more sleep.”

TK took a shuddering breath, willing his heart rate to go back to normal. He shook his head and pulled himself out of the bed, “No, I should be getting back. Thank you though,” he added to Paul, “for waking me up, for everything, really.”

“Of course man. We meant what we said: we’re here for you. I can’t imagine how hard this is, especially given everything, but you’re not alone in this. Don’t forget that. We all care about Carlos too, and we care about you.”

TK looked down, not sure quite how to respond to that. Thankfully, Paul knew him well. His friend put a hand on his shoulder and gave it a firm squeeze. TK looked up and gave him a smile that Paul returned, “Take some time to get ready, Judd and I will be ready to leave when you are.”

He nodded again and watched as Paul stepped out of the bedroom, closing the door behind him. He then took a breath to steady himself before he surveyed the room, actually thinking about what he might need this time around. He grabbed his phone charger and shoved it into his pocket but couldn’t think of anything else he might need. All he could think about was getting back to the hospital as soon as possible. He met the other two downstairs and at his nod they head out without a word, TK only pausing on the threshold for a moment as he glanced back at the empty condo. Soon he would be coming back here, with Carlos. He was sure of it; no other option was acceptable.

He shut the door behind him, turning his key in the lock until he heard the telltale click, and climbed into Judd’s truck for a silent ride to the hospital. When they arrived, he went to climb out but was stopped by Judd’s voice as the older man turned to look at him from the driver’s seat.

“I know you’re worried about him brother,” he said softly. “I can’t even imagine what it must feel like and what a mess I would be if it were Grace, but you still need to take care of yourself, remember that.”

TK swallowed down the emotions that rose up as he met Judd’s eyes.There was so much understanding in them and he knew that the other man knew what he was going through more than most. He gave him a nod, and a promise: “I’ll try.”

Judd nodded in satisfaction and TK climbed the rest of the way out of the backseat, giving his two friends a wave before he stepped out and headed back inside. He immediately headed to the nurses’ station and was about to ask for Becky when a familiar voice sounded behind him.

“TJ? What are you doing back here.”

TK froze at the sound of Mrs. Reyes’s voice. “Hi, Mrs. Reyes,” he began, “I was just checking in to see how Carlos was doing.”

The older woman’s expression softened and she reached out a hand to lay on his arm, “You are such a good person, my son is so lucky to have you as a friend.”

TK swallowed down the bile at the word, at the reminder of why he couldn’t be in there with Carlos. “How is he?” he managed to ask in a normal tone, “Has there been any change?”

Mrs. Reyes shook her head sadly, “No, but the doctors say that is to be expected right now. They say that if things remain as they are they will likely start weaning him off the sedation soon, so I guess that’s a good sign.”

“It is, he assured her, because despite everything she looked worried and he didn’t want her to suffer. “It’s a very good sign. Normal means that nothing is wrong, that things are healing. Paramedic,” he reminded her with a shrug when she shot him a curious glance, “I’m no doctor but I do know a decent amount about traumatic injuries.”

She smiled at him and squeezed his arm, “And I am so glad my Carlitos had someone like you working on him. I know it couldn’t have been easy to see someone you care about hurt like that but you helped to give him a fighting chance. I’ll never be able to thank you enough for that.”

“No thanks needed,” he told her softly, “it’s my job.”

“Still,” she insisted, pulling him into a hug. “I am so glad you are my son’s friend. He deserves wonderful people like you in his life.”

TK stiffened in the hug, her words hitting wounds she didn’t even know existed. He cleared his throat as he gently pulled away. “Thank you for the update,” he told her, “I appreciate it.”

She nodded, “Would you like to come sit with him for a bit? We don’t mind, there is plenty of room.”

The thought of being so close to Carlos but not being able to hold him, of having to stay distant so as not to blow their secret in front of his parents was too much. He was certain he wasn’t strong enough for that.

“Thank you,” he told her, “but I should get going. I don’t want to intrude and I just wanted to see how he was doing.”

“Of course,” she told him warmly, “but if you change your mind, feel free to stop by.”

He nodded and with one last hug she let him go and he stepped away, heading towards the doors. He didn’t know where he was going, there was nowhere else for him to go. He needed to be here, but he couldn’t be in there with them. He couldn’t be so close without revealing their relationship and he refused to do that to Carlos.

He stepped outside into the late afternoon sunlight, trying to decide what to do next. Trying to tamp down on the tears threatening to rise. It was too much. He had thought he was strong enough to handle this but he wasn’t. He couldn’t do this.

“TK?”

His name, said like a question from a familiar voice, caused him to turn to see Marjan heading towards him, a tray of coffees in her hand and a frown on her face.

“Hey Marj,” he said, hoping his voice sounded normal. Judging by the look on her face, he failed.

“What happened? Paul said you just got back. Is there any news? Mateo and I have been keeping an eye out but we didn’t see…”

“No,” he assured her, “no, you didn’t miss anything. Things are still fine. I just…” he trailed off, took a breath and started again. “I just ran into Carlos’s mother. She was very pleasant; offered to let me sit in the room with them. Told me what a good friend I was to her son.”

Marjan’s face dropped, “TK,” she said softly, but any response he could have given was swallowed by the tears he couldn’t stop. He thought he had gotten them all out a few hours ago as he lay in their bed, but clearly he was wrong. There were still plenty more. He felt arms wrap around him as Marjan pulled him into a hug, simply holding him as he cried.

--------------

TK was thumbing through the book Paul left him when Becky approached him. His heart was immediately in his throat and he was about to ask her what was wrong when he noticed that she was grinning.

“He’s awake,” she informed him, “has been for a little bit now. The doctors are running some tests right now so his parents have stepped out, but they should be done shortly, if you want to go see him.”

“Yes,” TK said immediately, “of course. Thank you.”

Becky gave him a warm smile, “It’s the least I could do. I do love a happy ending, after all. Give it about 5 minutes and then the doctors should be done.”

TK nodded, hardly daring to believe that this was real. Carlos was awake. He was okay. “Thank you,” he called out to Becky again as she walked away, “really.”

She gave him another smile before she disappeared around the corner and he was left to wait. He pulled out his phone to send a quick update in the group chat: Carlos was awake and he’d give them more details when he had them. There was a flurry of enthusiastic responses and well wishes before TK realized the 5 minutes were almost up and pulled himself out of his seat, heading towards Carlos.

He crossed to the door almost hesitantly, not quite able to shake the fear that maybe Becky had been wrong, that maybe he was somehow imagining this whole thing. But when he stepped inside and was met with a warm, exhausted gaze from familiar brown eyes, he almost staggered in relief.

“Carlos,” TK breathed and the weak, tired smile he received in return was without a doubt the best sight he had seen in days.

“What are you doing way over there?” Carlos asked him and TK was across the room in an instant, skidding to a halt at Carlos’s beside and placing a tender kiss to the top of his head. He blinked away the tears threatening to fall as he studied Carlos. There was so much he wanted to say to him, so much he needed to say. He just wasn’t sure where to start.

“Hi,” he settled on, and winced. As bedside greetings after a traumatic injury went, it wasn’t a good one.

Thankfully, Carlos chuckled, “Hi to you too. How are you doing?”

“Me?” TK asked incredulously, “Carlos, I’m not the one who nearly died.”

“No,” Carlos agreed, voice growing more serious as he studied him, “but my mom spent some time going on about how my friend ‘TJ’ saved my life. If that had been me and it had been you, I don’t think I would be okay.”

TK shook his head, “Can’t you just worry about yourself for once like a normal person,” he gripped, but there was no heat in his words. Carlos raised an eyebrow at him before he sighed. “It’s been rough,” he admitted, “it wasn’t easy and definitely not an experience I am ever looking to relive, but if it meant saving you I would do it a thousand more times.” He held Carlos’s gaze for several long moments in the wake of his words, making sure that his boyfriend understood just how much he meant it. Any amount of pain or suffering on his own part was acceptable long as Carlos was alive and well at the end of it all.

“But you’re awake now and you’re going to be okay,” he concluded after some time, “nothing else matters.”

“From what I’ve heard, there might be one more thing that matters.” At TK’s questioning look he explained, “My parents. They referred to you as my friend. Did you…?”

He trailed off but TK shook his head vigorously, “No,” he said firmly, “of course not. I promised you you could tell them on your own terms, that I was fine with being the friend as long as it took. I meant that.”

“Ty,” Carlos said softly, squeezing their linked hands and giving him a sad look, “babe. You could have said something. I wouldn’t have been mad. Thinking about you going through this by yourself is worse than any possibility of my parents’ reaction.”

“I wasn’t by myself,” he reminded Carlos, “I had my team. Our friends. I was never alone in this.”

“Remind me to thank them.”

“Oh don’t worry,” TK quipped lightly, leaning into this new topic in an effort to leave talk of his parents and the endless waiting behind, “I am sure they will be here the moment you are allowed more visitors.”

Carlos laughed lightly until he broke off with a grimace of pain. TK leaned forward anxiously, “Are you okay? Does it hurt too badly? Should I get a nurse? Do you--”

“Ty,” Carlos said firmly, “it’s okay. I’m okay. I just jostled things a bit, stop worrying.”

“I don’t think you are ever going to make that possible, Carlos Reyes.”

“Look who’s talking.”

TK opened his mouth to fire a response back but any retort he may have made was interrupted by the arrival of Andrea and Gabriel Reyes in the doorway. TK froze and went to pull his hand out of Carlos’s grasp, but Carlos held tight.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

“Uh, out of here?” TK answered, though it came out more like a question, “To give you some time with your parents?”

Carlos shook his head, “You’re not going anywhere. You belong here.” He turned to his parents, who were watching with curious gazes from the doorway, “Mom, Dad, there’s something I need to tell you.”

TK leaned in closer, voice low in Carlos’s ear, “Maybe waking up from a medically induced coma is not the time for major life decisions, babe. You don’t have to do this now.”

Carlos turned his head to meet TK’s dubious expression with his own, “If not now, when? You said it yourself: nothing ever stays the same.”

“Are you sure?”

Carlos smiled at him and squeezed their still intertwined hands, “Yeah, I am.”

He turned his gaze back to his parents, who were watching the proceedings curiously, “I know you’ve already met TK,” he told them, “and I told you he was a friend from work. But I lied to you, he is so much more than that. I’d like you to formally meet my boyfriend, TK Strand.”

TK anxiously watched their reactions only to see that while there were many emotions playing out on the Reyes’ faces, surprise was not amongst them.

“You knew,” he blurts out, unable to help himself.

Gabriel Reyes shrugged, “We were pretty sure after we met y’all at the market, but when you didn’t say anything when we got here we weren’t so sure and we didn’t want to press,” he began. “But seeing how worried you were, and how often you were here, I figured there was something we didn’t know. Plus, you’re wearing his shirt.”

TK looked down at the old APD sweatshirt he barely remembered grabbing on his trip home sheepishly and he could feel Carlos laughing light beside him.

“Why didn’t you say something?” Andrea asked him, eyes wide with sympathy, “All that time you spent waiting by yourself…”

“I made Carlos a promise,” he said simply, squeezing his boyfriend’s hand even as he spoke to his parents. “I promised him he could tell you on his own terms in his own time, and I would never break a promise I made to him for anything.”

The next thing he knew Andrea’s arms were around him again, squeezing him in a bone crushing hug. He nearly staggered back from the force of it, shooting a bewildered look over her shoulder to Carlos, who is smiling fondly at them.

“I was hoping we were right,” she told him softly, “all that time you were, how deeply you cared for him. I am so glad we were, and so happy that my son has someone to love him as much as you do.”

She pulled away to give him a teary smile that he returned. Gabriel stepped forward to wrap an arm around his wife’s shoulder and lean forward to offer TK an outstretched hand.

“It’s a pleasure to properly meet you, TK,” he said warmly. TK smiled at him before taking the offered hand.

“Likewise, sir.”

They ended the handshake and TK looked back to Carlos to see him beaming at him. He shifted over in his bed to make room for TK to perch on the edge beside him. TK did, happily, readjusting the grip of their joined hands so they could rest comfortably in Carlos’s lap.

“I always knew they would like you,” Carlos told him with a grin, raising an eyebrow at his parents, “but I didn’t know what detectives they were.”

“I am a Texas Ranger son,” Gabriel deadpanned, “in case you have forgotten.”

Carlos rolled his eyes at his father, earning him a lackluster admonishment from his mother and TK let the warmth of this moment settle around him. He could tell Carlos’s parents still had questions, he knew there would be some hard conversations to be had in the coming days. But for now they were all here together, and Carlos was okay. Their secret was out and TK didn’t have to hide the love he felt for this man for anyone ever again. He leaned over to press a soft kiss to the top of Carlos’s head, savoring the ability to do so and the way Carlos leaned into him in turn.

Things weren’t perfect but at this moment they were pretty close, and that was more than enough.

#911 lone star #911 lone star fic #tarlos #tarlos fic #my writing #userkimmy #userjilly #userac #usermaximus #userbones #tuserpaige #laeipoo #maizsnex #buckybarnesalways #immortalstrand #reyeslonestartag #hierophvnts

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