#to build out my understanding of the world

[oddinary4bts]

Chasing Cars | ch 4.5 (jjk)

☆summary: when your brother goes to study on a semester abroad, your life collides with his best friend Jeon Jungkook, who's coincidentally your roommate. Will you survive the collision, or will you crumble into dust?

☆pairings: brother's best friend!Jungkook x younger sister!female reader

☆rating: 18+ (minors DNI, some chapters contain mature content)

☆genre: forbidden love?au, college!au, slice of life!au, smut, angst (as usual a lot of it), fluff

☆warnings: explicit content: mentions of jerking off and of fingering/cum play

☆word count: 852

☆a/n: please enjoyyyy this one made me v soft

☆join the discord server here!

☆series masterpost

☆☆☆☆☆

If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Chasing Cars, Snow Patrol

☆☆☆☆☆

Campus is encased in ice, frozen on the spot in a magical way. Jungkook has been admiring it as you walk together, and he wonders where the magic of the moment truly lies. Is it in the ice coating everything, or in your presence next to him?

He pushes the thought away, trying to focus on what you’re saying.

“And then I was sick the whole night,” you say, retelling him a story of the first - and last - time you drank vodka.

He laughs. “You’re not supposed to drink a whole bottle to yourself, you know that?”

You glare at him, your eyes narrowed. “No way,” you let out. “I would have never guessed that.”

He grins at your sass, teasingly nudging you with his elbow. You shriek, almost slipping on a patch of ice, but he’s quick to grab your arm, steadying you. You look up, startled, your eyes going wide as you meet Jungkook’s gaze.

His heart picks up in his chest as blush creeps on your cheeks, and he’s struck thinking you truly are the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen. He can hardly believe last night happened - you’re too pure to have partaken in the action that unfolded in your bedroom, like maybe he stained you. And he wouldn’t be surprised if he did. His heart clenches in his chest at the thought, and he lets go of you.

“You okay?” he asks, gulping.

You nod, taking a deep breath as you look away from him. “Yeah. You?”

Jungkook chuckles. “How could I not be, when I’ve got you by my side?”

He immediately cringes at the words, at the truth they hold, and his thoughts slide to Taehyung. What would Taehyung say if he heard what Jungkook said? If he knew the kind of things Jungkook thinks about you?

You roll your eyes, looking up to the sky as if searching for salvation. “You’re annoying, you know that, right?”

“You love it, peach,” Jungkook teases, trying to ignore the way his heart warms in his chest.

It’s been doing that on and off since yesterday, since he kissed you like you were the last two people on Earth. He hates it, hates the roller coasters that it’s been taking him on. It makes him feel vulnerable, and it’s not a feeling he enjoys at all.

Not when it brings back a share of insecurity he thought he’d gotten rid of when he started college.

You make a noncommittal sound, and then lead Jungkook towards the library building, though you both have no intention to go in. Jungkook follows you, listening to you as you start talking about a class you hate - biochemistry? - and he laughs when you tell him how the professor barely speaks English to begin with.

“I have a professor like that in econ too,” he admits. “I’m sure she is incredibly intelligent, but it’s so hard to actually understand what she’s saying that I feel like we’re never talking about the same thing.”

“Right!” you exclaim. “It’s annoying. Like we’re a good college, they could at least make sure the professors speak decent English.”

Jungkook agrees, but he doesn’t say anything. Indeed, his attention is elsewhere. He notices your friend in the distance, the shy one, and his lungs freeze for a second before he grabs your arm, pulling you in the other direction.

“What are you doing?” you let out, sounding slightly offended.

“I’m hungry,” Jungkook states, offering you a lopsided grin that he hopes serves as a good enough distraction. “Want to go home and grab something to eat?”

You frown for a few seconds, looking up at the sky. The clouds have been slowly dispersing, and blue peeks from behind them, revealing that the sun has started its descent towards the horizon.

“You’re always hungry,” you reply, letting out an annoyed huff.

“And what about it?”

You laugh at his words, and Jungkook grins, his heart skipping a beat in his chest yet again.

Taehyung, he reminds himself. 

He desperately needs to get a grip of himself before things get out of hand. Though, he reckons they’ve gotten out of hand already. They’ve gotten out of hand when he jerked off under your watchful gaze yesterday night, fingering you with his cum after. They got out of hand even before that, when he decided to kiss you and pull you on his lap until all the thoughts he’d been trying to ignore since the beginning of the semester last year came forth, screaming in his head until he couldn’t ignore their existence anymore.

He sighs, burying his hands in the pockets of his pants as you walk, if only so that he doesn’t reach to grab your hand. He’s like a kid next to you, like a dumb teenager who’s never seen a girl before. 

He hates it, almost as much as he loves the excitement that it brings. It’s all too confusing, but he figures that, as long as the power outage is still going strong, he can pretend that it doesn’t matter.

Reality is bound to hit again soon anyway.

Read chapter four here!

☆☆☆☆☆

hope you guys enjoyeddd!! jungkook is such a mess lmao :') let me know what you think!

All rights reserved to @/oddinary4bts, 2024. Do not copy, repost or translate.

[queensunshinee]

Time Of Our Lives || Part 9

warnings: SMUT! 18+!, dirty talk, p in v sex, oral sex, fingering, praise.

Part 9

"What did I miss?" Liana asked as she sat down, seeing the boys exchange looks. Sometimes they spoke without words. She always envied that connection. She didn’t have anyone who could understand her with just a nod or a blink or, in this case, a stare.

"Hello, Earth to Art and Patrick?" she tried to join in, but something about the current situation didn’t feel right. "It's my turn to go inside. I need to drink some water. You two catch up, it's been a while since you’ve seen each other," Art said without looking at her, causing Liana to frown as he walked away. "That was weird, right?" she asked Patrick, who responded with a half-smile. "When is Art not weird?" he said. "How are you?" he asked, turning his gaze back to her and seeing her give the widest smile she could offer anyone. "Do you forgive me?" she asked, moving to sit next to him, placing her head on his shoulder. "What do I have to forgive you for, Amanda?" he chuckled, tracing shapes on her shoulder while taking another sip of champagne. "I was terrible. The exams made me crazy," she tried to justify her behavior over the past month. "Do you know if you're leaving yet?" he asked. "I’ll know when we get back from vacation. I’m terrified," she murmured. On one hand, Liana desperately wanted that year in Oxford. She wanted to see Europe. The architecture. The atmosphere. The culture. She wanted to see something other than the American suburb she had lived in her whole life, with the same people and the same opinions and the same tennis. On the other hand, she didn’t want to break her parents’ hearts. Her parents who had always talked about Stanford and how she’d join the family business after she finished school, and her parents who were the best people she knew but whose dreams for her flew past them as if they were never there. And now there was Art too. Art, who in the past two days had made her feel things she had never felt before. Art, who in the months at Stanford had become an inseparable part of her life. Art, who made her stomach ache at the thought of not seeing him for a year. Art, who still didn’t know she was considering leaving. "You’ll pass that test, we both know you will," Patrick said calmly. "And then you'll conquer Europe, building by building." He chuckled, but his voice faded with each word. "And we'll stay here, missing you," he said, and she straightened up, looking at him. "I’m not going to die, you know," Liana rolled her eyes, trying to lighten the conversation. "No, you're just going to meet people much better than us, and I'm enough of a bastard to be worried about that," he said honestly. "I don’t think there are many people in the world better than you, Patrick," she concluded. The next day Art left. He texted her that a spot opened up in some tennis group he could join, and he didn’t want to miss the opportunity. That he’d see her at Stanford. When Liana tried to call, he didn’t answer. So they kept missing each other throughout the vacation, she trying to call just as he was going into practice or the shower or falling asleep, and him sending messages that he was okay, just busy. On the last day of the vacation, she received a message that her exam results had come in. She had been accepted. Liana cried. Which wasn’t anything special because objectively Liana cried a lot, but this time she cried out of excitement. All the effort she put in had paid off, and now she could prepare for the student exchange. She could make her dream come true, start being a real person in the world. The conversation with her parents was horrible. There were shouts and accusations, and her mother said they wouldn’t pay for this, which Liana had suspected might happen. Her father seemed more conciliatory but didn’t say much. "Do you think Mom will be mad at me for long?" she asked him on the way to the airport. If there was one thing Liana hated, it was that it was always obvious she had been crying. Her pale face would turn red, and her eyes would swell, sometimes for days. This was one of those cases. It could be said with confidence that Liana looked like she had been run over by a bus yesterday.

"I know it doesn’t look like it, but we’re proud of you. Mom will come around, don’t worry," her father hugged her as they got out of the car. "I want this so much, Dad," she sighed.

"I know, honey," he said, kissing the top of her head. He hated seeing the emotional turmoil his daughter was in. His daughter, who above all feared disappointing people. "I’ll come back to Stanford after that," she mumbled, feeling the lump in her throat take over again. "I don’t want her to hate me," she looked at him with teary eyes.

"She doesn’t hate you. Li, look at me." Her father tried to wipe her tears. "Your mother is a stubborn woman, and you’ll see that a month after you’re there, she’ll come visit you." He smiled, and she nodded, not sure she believed what he said. "Besides, you have another semester at Stanford. Make the most of it, maybe you’ll love the place as much as we did." He shrugged, seeing her take a deep breath, trying to calm down. "I love you, Dad," she hugged him again and started to walk away, hoping everything would calm down and her mother would eventually look at her like she did before she told her she was planning to leave. Art opened the door after five knocks, looking at her with a puzzled expression. "Did we have plans?" he asked. "Hey Arthur, I missed you too," she rolled her eyes and gave him a small kiss on the lips, seeing him close his eyes and deepen the kiss within seconds as he closed the door. "Hey," he smiled at her and moved her hair out of her face. "Have you been crying?" he asked after examining her. Art couldn’t stop himself from asking. It was like an instinct; seeing what he could do to make her feel better. But he was so mad at her that he didn’t really want to talk to her or know how she felt right now; after all, she didn’t care how he felt. He did want to fuck her. He wanted to feel like she was his. He was afraid he was a little addicted to the feeling of looking at her and feeling like she was entirely his. He was afraid that if she left, he wouldn’t feel that way again. He was afraid of losing.

"Did you know?" his mother asked on the phone. Her voice worried. "What?" he returned the question, panting after practice. "That Liana is planning to leave for Oxford? Did you know that?" she demanded the truth. And the truth was that he knew she was leaving. But he didn’t know where or when and he didn’t know it was official. His heart pounded faster. "Yes, I knew," he mumbled, not wanting to reveal how far he felt from Liana in reality. Not wanting to reveal how stupid he felt that of all people, Patrick knew before him. "How could you not say anything, Art, she's our Liana. How will she manage in England alone? She barely manages to find her way in the supermarket without getting lost," his mother sighed. And she was right. He knew she was right. And she wasn’t even their Liana; she was his Liana. And she was his Liana for exactly two days. What an idiot he is. "She’s a big girl. She can navigate the supermarket in England without getting lost. I have to go," he mumbled, angry at himself for still feeling the need to protect her. "Just tired from the flight," she smiled at him a tired smile and felt his lips leaving small kisses on her neck, causing her to close her eyes. "Can I help?" his voice was teasing as he took off her shirt without much resistance. Examining her for a second, as if trying to remember how she looked. "You're already helping," she smiled a genuine smile, and his lips were on her again, hungrier than she had felt him so far. "I want you so much, Li," he groaned into her mouth. His tongue intertwining with hers as if he had wandered for years in the desert and she was his source of water. "Do you want this?" he asked, as they moved to his bed and she nodded. In complete haze, at this point, she decided that Art Donaldson could do whatever he wanted with her. And it was a liberating decision. Knowing she was safe in his hands and he decided how good she could feel now. "Words, Liana," he demanded as he started taking off her jeans. She didn’t even notice she was already half-naked in front of him. "You're wearing too many clothes," she mumbled incoherently as his hand brushed over her panties. "You're already wet, Li?" his voice was amused as he took off his shirt. "Already ready for me, and I haven’t even touched you yet," he whispered in her ear and heard her moan, which caused him to release a groan of his own. "Do you want this?" he asked again. This time his hand applied more pressure over her panties. "Art." Her voice was desperate. "Please," she whispered, and he bit his lip. Stopping himself from all the things he wanted to do with her. "Please, what?" he asked, his mouth close to hers, teasing, barely touching. He kissed her right cheek and then her left

"Touch me. Please," she almost cried out of frustration and desperation, exactly the way he wanted her. His. His again. And he felt desperate too, so her panties came off in a flash and he gave her exactly what she wanted. He heard her moan beneath him as his fingers moved inside her rhythmically. He felt how tight she was. He tried not to imagine his dick inside her, thinking he might not last. She was a virgin. He knew that. She had told him. He was going to be the first inside her. "So good for me, Li," he murmured and smiled, never taking his eyes off her. He didn't think anyone could look better than Liana did now, beneath him, eyes closed, desperate sounds escaping her, moaning his name. He was sure the student in the room next door was jerking off to the sound of her. He was sure no one in the world could resist Liana Levy when she looked like that beneath him. He was no different from anyone else. Almost captivated. Almost helpless. Just wanting to deliver. Just wanting her to always be like that for him. His lips roamed over her body until they reached her clit, while his hand sped up.

"You take me so well, Li," he said as the room filled with the sound of her fluids and moans.

"I'm going to-" she mumbled, her voice breaking, making him look up at her. He had to see her come. He had to remember this moment.

"Come for me, Li, come on. I want to see you," he demanded in the most authoritative voice he could muster, even though he felt himself melting under her influence.

"Art," she moaned again.

And he was right, her face in that moment was truly the most beautiful thing he'd seen in his 20 years of existence. Her half-open mouth, her eyes closed, slightly teary, her hand on her breast. It was a magnificent sight and he knew only he had seen her like this.

Her body shook and he gave one last kiss on her sensitive clit, then stood before her.

"Open your eyes, Li," he said, and she did exactly as he commanded. "Kiss me. Taste yourself." Another half-command with a smile and scheming eyes. Within seconds, her lips were on his, her tongue mingling with his intensely, just wanting more.

"I want to be inside you," he murmured, and she nodded. "Can I?" he asked. He had to ask. He knew she could say no and he would have to accept it, and if he were less greedy, he might even be satisfied with that anyway.

But he was so angry with her. He wanted her to know. He wanted her to know that just as he was hers, she was his. That she couldn't just ignore him like that. Dismiss him as if he didn't matter.

"Yes," she murmured into his mouth, feeling him smile against her.

"Yes, what?" he asked, teasing.

"Fuck me," she whispered, and it came out vulgar and blunt, uncharacteristic of the girl in front of him. She was even surprised by the words that left her mouth, her eyes widening for a moment before remembering it was Art and relaxing. She was safe with Art. He wouldn't use her words against her. It was okay for her to need him.

"I didn't hear you," he murmured, removing the rest of his clothes and moving to his desk to grab a condom. "I'm on this side of the room, Liana. You need to speak louder." He leaned against the wall as he put the condom on, taking a breath. He had to steady his breathing if he wanted to last inside her for more than three seconds.

"Please, Art. I want to feel you inside me," she said louder, more confidently, more desperately. He moved toward her. "Please fuck me," she looked him in the eyes and bit her lip, feeling almost small but also kind of powerful. He looked almost as desperate as she did as his hand traced her face and then her chest, stopping at her sensitive nipple, making her moan.

"That much, huh?" he asked, positioning the tip of his dick at her entrance and hearing her sigh in response. "Don't worry, I've got you. Are you going to be good for me, Li?" he asked, watching her nod in response. "Are you going to take me like you were made for me?" he asked again.

"Yes, please. Art." She was almost crying with frustration. Liana didn't know what to do to make him enter her already. To feel him. For him to fill her with himself. For him to be close to her. Part of her. She didn't know when she started feeling all these emotions for Art Donaldson, but now was not the time to figure it out. He began to slide into her.

"Oh, Art," she bit his shoulder, making him groan.

"Fuck, Liana. So tight. Fuck. Hang in there, baby, are you okay?" he asked, studying her.

"More," she mumbled. The pain didn't matter. She just wanted him. She wanted all of him. He did move more. A bit more each time. Another moan and another sigh each time until he was fully inside her. Their lips merged in their most sloppy kiss yet. They were one for a moment.

"You can move," she managed to say after a few seconds.

"Are you sure?" he asked, seeing her nod. "Fuck, Li. I won't last long like this," he murmured, his movements gentle. He was careful with her.

When he felt he was close and knew she wouldn't come from the first time someone inside her, he added a finger to play with her clit.

"Fuck, Art," she moaned his name for the umpteenth time.

"I know. You're doing such a good job, Li, taking care of me so well," he said, feeling her tighten around him, bringing him to the edge almost with her.

After a few seconds, he gently pulled out of her, seeing her panting and feeling just as spent. He took off the condom and walked it to the trash, finding his boxers on the way and putting them on. He saw the girl in front of him, completely naked. Completely his.

"When were you planning to tell me?" he asked, looking at her from a distance.

Liana was still in euphoria, her eyes half-closed, confused by the question. "What are you talking about?" she sounded amused, looking at him with a smile as he put on a shirt. For a moment, she felt fragile, not understanding how she was still completely naked while he was fully dressed in front of her.

"About leaving Stanford. About Oxford? I don't know. Maybe there are more things you'd like to tell me." His gaze was cold, making Liana freeze too. She felt her nakedness now. She understood why he was dressed and she wasn't. She was vulnerable right now.

"How long have you known?" she asked quietly, swallowing and searching for her clothes.

"My mom asked me about it yesterday," he said, never taking his eyes off her. "Do you know how stupid I felt when I lied and told her I knew?" he asked. His voice didn't rise, but the frustration was clear.

"Art, I found out two days ago," her eyes glistened and she breathed quickly, feeling everything slipping away from her. He was slipping away from her.

"You're lying," he stated with an eye roll, sitting down on the bed.

"Art," she knelt in front of him, studying his face. He showed no emotion, only coldness.

"It's okay, Liana. We both know what this is," he said, instinctively moving her hair out of her face.

"What is it?" she swallowed. She knew Art. She knew he was about to say something he'd regret, and yet she still pushed him to say it.

"It's me passing time until Tashi realizes she wants me," he said, seeing her expression change to one he'd never seen on her before. She moved his hand from her face quickly and scooted back on the floor as fast as he didn't know she was capable of, as if afraid of his touch.

"Wow." She swallowed, looking at him, feeling the tears welling up in her eyes. "I'm sorry if I hurt you," she tried to salvage the situation, and he chuckled.

"Come on, Liana." He rolled his eyes and lay down on the bed, no longer looking at her.

"You just fucked me, Art." She felt sick. It was the first time she had slept with someone. He knew that. She felt so humiliated.

"I know. I was there, and if I remember correctly, you asked for it. More precisely, you begged-"

"Shut up. Just shut up." She cut him off and stood up. She couldn't hide her tears anymore.

"Why did you do it? We could have just continued meeting at family dinners. Seeing each other in the hallway and occasionally saying hello. Why did you do it?" It came as a sob. She had never felt so humiliated. It was like a truck had run over her.

"I was bored, and you were cute, and let's be honest, a little desperate," her hand found its way to his cheek with a force neither of them knew she possessed. She wanted to apologize automatically because she wasn't violent, but it didn't come out.

"I hate you so much. I will never forgive you. You are the worst person I know." She mumbled and moved toward the door.

"At least I beat Patrick to it," he found himself saying. He had to have the last word in every argument.

"No, Art. You lost to Patrick. Even in twenty years, you won't have half the character and heart that Patrick has already. You're a complete loser compared to him, and I hope you never forget that." She said without stuttering while he didn't take his eyes off her, swallowing hard, finally hearing the door slam.

The moment Liana reached her room, after passing a considerable number of people who looked at her with worried expressions, some even trying to ask if she was okay, she collapsed on the floor and let out the loudest cry that had probably ever escaped her. She felt dirty. Almost used. She had trusted the wrong person.

She picked up the phone to call the only person she thought could understand her.

"Liana, are you okay?" Patrick sounded concerned and confused, probably because of the late hour.

"He really hurt me and I didn't know who else to call," she managed to say through her tears, hearing Patrick sigh, as if silently saying he knew. He knew this would happen.

Writing this part kinda broke me. I know Art was being cruel, but well, he was acting out without thinking about the consequences. Got your requests and maybe on the weekend we'll give Liana/Patrick/Art some more layers. Keep sending me questions and such. I LOVE it. Hope you're still enjoying and again, if you wanna join the taglist, say the word ❤️

taglist: @swetearss @ganana @yoitsme-04 @igotmajordaddyissues @jackierose902109 @imbabycowboy @do-it-for-kicks @izzywags478 @4deline08 @serenadingtigers

[aryaqua-reh2o]

Blitzø's Eyes in The Full Moon

Overanalysing the last 5 minutes of The Full Moon, Blitzø edition.

We know that Blitzø has massive issues and he mainly deals with them by putting on a facade and keeping his walls up. During the interaction with Stolas in the end there are a few moments where his eyes speak volumes because as hard as he tries, he can’t completely hide his true self and how he feels. 

Whenever he is sincere his eyes glow, and when he is scared he shows a little line near his pupils. 

The first moment of sincerity is when Stolas takes the book away:

B: Please Stolas, I need this book, please!

He is honest here, I’d say he is worried but… I’ve seen many people saying he is scared of losing his access to the human world and the ability to provide for himself, Loona and M&M, but he actually never mentions his business, he just repeats he needs this book. Twice. So of course the book is crucial for his business survival, but is it all? I don’t think Blitzø here is talking about his job. I think he’s already scared of being rejected by Stolas. For as much as it has been pointed out that he cares deeply for his daughter and employees, I can’t help but notice that he doesn’t mention them or his business here, and also now the man is back on good terms with his friend Fizz and also Asmodeus himself, would it be that hard to get a crystal from them directly? The book is just an excuse IMO.

- Stares in awe - His reaction here is disbelief. He can’t hide how deeply touched he is by Stolas’ gesture.

S: You no longer need my Grimoire

B: Whaaaat?

Then, even if not eye-related, we have the clear tail twitch that betrays his insecurity

B: Because I can always… I can always do better!

Then Stolas reassures him and… he basically confesses his love to Blitzø

S: Blitzø, I’m giving you this because I care very deeply for you, and I have for some time. 

Finally fear appears for the first time in Blitzø’s eyes and it’s at this exact moment. The deal is broken and Blitzø can’t use it anymore to hide behind it.

S: You don’t have to stay here with me

Finally, just a few seconds from the disaster, we see, if only just for a moment, Blitzø’s eyes glowing and a thin line near his pupil.

S: Only if you want to

He understands, he knows what Stolas is saying, he knows he is honest and Blitzø is scared of it so he tries to run away, to build his walls back up and the only way he knows is through sex and faking. (let's not talk about what happens next...)

S: …Even if only for a little while.

Blitzø realises he screwed up bad and Stolas shut down completely. 

From here he loses his eye glow, but we see fear two more times, here:

B: Wait… what? You were serious??

And here, but I’d say it looks more like terror to me:

S: Goodbye Blitzø.

I have no idea what the point of this extra-long post is, I just needed to do it. 

[a-court-of-fics-and-errors]

Keep Moving Forwards, Part 21

Azriel x Reader Fic

Summary: After finally deciding to leave your abusive and manipulative mate for good, you find unexpected companionship with Azriel, the Shadowsinger of the Night Court. As you navigate the aftermath of your traumatic relationship, you struggle to understand where the mating bond went wrong and contemplate your path forward, vowing never to return to the past.

Find other parts here: Master List

To follow this fic, follow tag "Keep Moving Forwards Fic" or comment to be tagged in future parts.

Content Warning: This story contains depictions of extreme emotional manipulation and abuse, detailed descriptions of direct physical abuse, and scenes of men hunting women with implied sexual assault. Please read at your own risk.

Word Count: 3.7K

Author's Note: This is a multi-part series. Unlike my previous works, this fanfiction delves deeper than just fluff, exploring complex emotional landscapes. As I navigate this new writing journey, I kindly ask for gentle feedback. The topics addressed are profoundly impactful, touching many lives with diverse experiences. Please be gentle with yourselves and others. Healing is a journey, and everyone processes it differently. Be kind to yourself. Take what resonates, and leave what doesn’t.

Please continue reading, being aware of the above content warnings, ensuring you are in a healthy headspace. Give yourself time to process and be gentle with yourself.

Caelum stood before you, leaning casually on the corner of a stone building. You took him in, and he seemed almost larger than the last time you had seen him. His shoulders, under that wool hunting jacket, seemed broader, his legs longer, and his hands larger. His blond hair, which you used to trim back to keep tight to his scalp, was now much longer, the tips of it barely brushing over his shoulders. His beard, usually kept in stubble, had now grown in more fully, but those green eyes were still the same, filled with the same hatred and lust that they always had been.

You pushed yourself back so your back hit the side of the barn as he just looked at you, his eyes tracing you up and down as he took you in. “You look good,” he continued, pushing off the wall and taking a few steps forward.

Your eyes widened as he closed the gap between you two, the overwhelming scent of spruce and sage filling your nose as he stood a mere arm's length away. He gazed down at you again, “You’ve put on some weight,” he commented nonchalantly as your heartbeat pounded in your ears.

You swallowed hard, trying to steady your breath, your voice barely above a whisper, “Please, Caelum, just leave me alone.” 

He smirked, his eyes narrowing as he leaned in closer, “Oh, love, you know I can’t do that. You’re my mate. Sacred and forever.” You pressed harder against the barn, feeling the rough wood digging into your back. “Two parts of one whole creature,” he said, placing his hand firmly beside your head while his other hand traced the side of your cheek. He smiled, a catlike grin as you flinched away from his touch. Your entire view was consumed by his body as you whimpered. “Forever destined to roam the world in search of the other.” He placed his other hand to the opposite side of your head, closing you in. “So many others spend lifetimes searching for their mate, and now that we found each other, you would want to throw that all away? And over what?”

You hardened your gaze on him, “Over you beating me, and screaming at me, and making me wish for death.”

Caelum merely rolled his eyes, “You were always one for drama, my love, you always did love little stories.”

You pushed your hands against his chest, though he didn’t move. “You beat me!” you screamed.

“I never hurt you more than you could handle.”

“You broke my nose and jaw!”

Caelum raised his eyebrow, his fingers drumming the wood, “I seem to recall you fell backward and hit your face on the counter.”

You shook your head as you stammered out, “You put me on the kitchen floor and kicked me.”

His mouth turned down as he seemed to search through memories, “I can’t seem to recall that. You sure you weren’t just dreaming?”

You just shook your head again as you said, “No, no, I know that all happened.”

Caelum let out a sigh, letting one hand drop to his side, the other still firmly planted next to you. “Y/N, I know that I had problems—”

You shot out, “You’re a psychopath.”

Caelum’s face fell flat as he continued, “With drinking. But,” his face lifted, “I’ve stopped drinking altogether.” You scoffed out a laugh as his face became more serious, “Honestly, Y/N, I haven’t had a single drink since you left.”

You tried to steady your breathing, “Good for you.”

“For us,” he corrected, taking your hand in his. You recoiled at his touch, but his grasp was tight enough that you couldn’t pull away. He pulled your hand to his chest, placing it over his heart. “I know I’ve done things that I regret, and I know that I’ve hurt you. But things are better now. I promise.”

You looked at his eyes, seemingly innocent but also void of any emotion other than greed. “You can’t change who you are.”

“You have to give me a chance.”

You screamed back, “I gave you over a century's worth of chances!”

“We have a lifetime, my love.”

“A lifetime of brutality and rage?” you spat at him.

His face turned harder, “Of love and adoration.”

“Two feelings you are incapable of having.”

A flash of anger ran across his face as he stared down at you, his chest nearly pressing into yours as he leaned in closer. Your heart caught in your throat as he gently moved the braid from your neck, leaning into it and breathing in deeply as he went to place a small kiss on the soft flesh behind your ear. But he paused, breathing in again. He pulled back, a smirk on his face as you caught his eye. “So you’ve been whoring yourself out?”

You furrowed your brow, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

He merely scoffed, nodding his head as he bit down on his lower lip, his head tilting slightly, “I know my mate’s scent. And I know that that stench on your neck isn’t yours. And unless someone isn’t almost on top of you, you won’t hold that scent this long.”

“Caelum—” you warned, trying to wiggle your way to the side and away from him, but he planted his hand firmly on the opposite side of you. “Caelum, stop it. You’re being idiotic.”

“Is he charming?” he taunted. “Is he so kind, and sweet, and gentle?”

“Stop it,” you hissed.

“Does he know that if he runs his fingers on the small of your back that it will make your toes curl and you’ll melt?”

“Caelum—”

“Does he fuck you softly?” Caelum moved in close to your face, merely a whisper, “Does he know that you like your hair pulled?”

“Please—” you pleaded.

Caelum traced his tongue up the side of your throat, “Mm, I can almost taste him,” he whispered. “Was he in you this morning? You little slut.”

Your body shook with terror and revulsion. You tried to push him away, but he was immovable. Your breath came in ragged gasps, your vision blurring with tears. “Caelum, please, just go.”

He laughed softly, a chilling sound that made your blood run cold. “I’m not leaving without you.”

You pulled back slightly as he leaned against you again, “Just let me go.”

Caelum pressed a kiss into your neck which made you whimper in fear and disgust, “You are mine. You bonded yourself to me and promised that you would always be mine, and I would always be yours.” He pressed in another kiss as you gulped down the rock that had formed in your throat. 

“I am not your property.” You hissed. 

Caelum gripped your chin, pulling you to look at him as he hardened his gaze, “You didn’t get to decide that, love. The bond was formed. It’s unbreakable. You are mine, and I will always come for what is mine.” Caelum leaned in close, pressing his lips hard against yours as you struggled against him. Your mouth twisted into a scowl as you shoved him back, but his strength and large frame kept him planted in place.

You shouted out, “Caelum, stop!”

Your mate grabbed you around your waist, holding you in place, continuing to force himself onto you as you struggled, crying out for him to stop.

“Hey!” you heard from behind him. Caelum did not immediately turn. Instead, he took a deep inhale, grinning like a predator.

He turned slowly as your chest heaved, your eyes wide. “So you're the one who’s been keeping my mate warm and limber,” he said.

“Kai,” you called out, reaching your hand forward, but Caelum threw his own back.

“Not now, my love. The males are talking.” Caelum took a few steps forward, casual as Kai met him with a hard gaze. While tall, Kai had nothing on Caelum, who towered over him, and for as muscular as Kai was, your mate had at least forty pounds on him.

When Caelum approached, Kai merely stared up at him. “She doesn’t want you here.”

Caelum scoffed. “How can you know what she wants?”

“You don’t have the right to come and force her back with you.”

“Oh, but I have all the right. She’s my mate. She bound herself to me.”

“She doesn’t have to stick by that choice.”

Caelum smiled, a light laugh pushing from his nose. “See now, maybe you don’t understand because you don’t have a mate, but when you bond with someone, they enter your mind, your soul, so to speak.” Caelum turned around, wrapping his arm around Kai’s shoulders as he pulled away and pointed at you. “And the lovely female before us decided almost a century and a half ago, give or take a decade, that she would devote her life to me. And I to her.” Caelum turned his attention back to Kai. “So by reasonable understanding, I would say that she made her choice, and as adults, we stand by our choices.”

Kai’s gaze hardened. “Your sick interpretation of the mating bond means nothing to me.”

Caelum’s lips dropped, and he shrugged his shoulders, taking a few steps back towards you. “It doesn’t have to mean anything to you. You’re not involved. And even if she somehow, in a world that doesn’t exist, decided to continue running from me and deny the bond that so rightfully was agreed upon, I would still live forever in her mind, for every little moment.” Caelum pressed his finger to his temple. “Because even while she can be so incessantly frustrating, closing down the bond, or trying to shove me back, she can’t do it all the time.” Caelum turned back to you. “In those little moments, when you’re asleep, when you’re in pain, or even when you’re in ecstasy, the moments where you forget to shut me out, I feel you.” Caelum took a few strides towards you. “And I’ve been so patient. Feeling your ribs crack and break, listening to your screams, feeling the terror coursing through you while you watch your friend be slaughtered in front of you, or the rush of arousal when you touch someone else. All those moments, I sat by and watched, waiting for you to beg me to come get you and come home.” Your eyes widened, suddenly aware of everything that he might have seen in the months since you had been gone. Caelum closed the gap between the two of you, his breath hot in your face as you stared at him. “You, my love, so strong, and yet also incredibly weak. Sorry to hear about your mother, by the way. Perhaps you are more like her than you thought.”

From behind, you heard Kai, “What? What is he talking about?”

Caelum’s eyes widened, his smile lengthening as he raised his brow. “Oh, so you haven’t shared that little detail with him?” You gulped. “Well, let me fill you in on the details, Kai.” Your mate turned to him, Kai’s name in his voice filled you with venom. “You see, while you were out with your friends last night, my mate went on some soul-searching journey back home.” Kai looked to you as you tried to plead with him through your gaze not to listen. “And she learned that mommy dearest had been raising her in a pleasure house and had a rather nasty habit of using drugs to get through her day.” Caelum turned to you. “Isn’t that right?” You said nothing, the lump in your throat seeming to constrict any words from leaving you. “And who knows what all my mate witnessed,” his eyes flicked to you, “or felt.” He turned back to Kai, who looked only at you. “And it turns out that all those memories my sweet mate has of her mother aren’t really real, are they? No, her cute little head as a child just thought mommy was that caring and generous when really she was whoring herself out around the city for drugs.”

You whipped your head to your mate. “Shut up,” you hissed.

“But it’s true, isn’t it?” he asked back. “All of it? And then your mother took you into the woods and raised you there until she left you. She left you to go back and get high again.”

“Stop it,” you warned.

“And then, when you were so, so sad, you went out to find her.” Caelum flashed his gaze to Kai. “Does he know this part? It really is my favorite.” Caelum rested his arm against the barn. “I found her lying in the dirt and the cold, almost dead, and I brought her into my home. And she begged me to let her stay. She told me about her poor mother and how she was lost in the woods. And all it took was me giving her a place to sleep and some food to eat, and she wrapped herself around my finger.” You gulped down as tears began to fall. “And then she told me this long story about mates, and about how before the fae lived, the gods split creatures into two forever cursed to wander the world looking for their other half.” Caelum looked at Kai, smiling, and then turned back to you. “So you’ve shared your little bedtime story then?” he asked. “And then, just like her mother, she threw herself at me, begging me to let her stay, all because I smiled at her and fed her.” He smiled at Kai. “She really is so easy, isn’t she?” You felt the tears burn hot trails down your face as you glared at him, your gaze cast away from Kai. Caelum continued, “And then, the very first time we slept together, the bond snapped, and I’ve never seen so much relief on someone’s face. She started insisting, ‘We have to be mated,’ and ‘we can’t be apart.’” Caelum placed his hand on your shoulder. “And I couldn’t let you down, not after I took you in out of the kindness of my heart, and I fed you, clothed you. Loved you. So we accepted the bond that she so desperately wanted.” Caelum turned back to Kai, his head tilting slightly. “Now, my love, am I forgetting anything?” You gulped down your tears. “Oh yes, that’s right. What about when you begged me to build you that cabin in the woods so we could move away from my family and into a place of our own? And how I spent months up there, hauling trees, and slaving away to build you that home?” Caelum leaned into your cheek, pressing a kiss into it. “But it was all worth it because I was going to spend my time with you. My mate. My whole life. You promised me that.” Caelum turned back to Kai, “She sure does love telling her sad little stories, doesn’t she? And she performs them so well, with her puppy dog eyes and her quivering lip.” Caelum faced you, his voice dropping. “So why don’t we just go home, back to the life we know, and we can pick up where we left off?”

As he turned away from Kai, he slowly pulled back his jacket, revealing two large knives strapped to the inside. Your gasp caught in your throat. “It doesn’t have to end badly,” he whispered. “You can decide how this goes.” You looked between the knives and his face, feeling your heartbeat thumping in your ears. Caelum was a skilled hunter; you had seen him take down prey by hand much larger than Kai. You’d also seen him fight with his hunting party, and even though that was mostly for fun, the fights were brutal and often left the others bloodied and bruised. Caelum would have Kai bleeding on the ground before Kai could even know what happened. You swallowed and nodded lightly. “Good choice,” Caelum whispered.

He let his coat fall back into place, shielding the knives from view before reaching his hand out to you. Your breath quivered as you slid your hand into his, his grin purely primal and sadistic. Caelum turned back to Kai. “Seems we’ve reached a conclusion.” Kai’s mouth dropped when he saw you hand in hand with your mate, his head shaking lightly.

“Y/N,” Kai started, “You don’t have to do this.”

Caelum brought his hand to his pocket, right over where you knew the knife was, and he squeezed your hand. “No, Kai,” you said, your voice shaking lightly. “No, it’s okay.”

Kai’s face scanned yours in utter confusion as Caelum smirked. “She’s come to her senses,” he called. “Seems she finally remembered her promise to me.”

Kai made to take a few steps forward, but you lightly shook your head at him, your eyes widening. As you glanced toward Caelum’s hips, Kai’s eyes followed your own. In a moment of understanding, Kai stopped and looked at your face, still shaking a subtle no.

“We’ve got quite the journey home, so we’ll be on our way,” Caelum said, smiling at Kai, whose gaze never broke from yours.

Caelum gripped your hand tighter as he stepped away from the barn, pulling you alongside him toward the large iron gates. Your heart pounded in your chest, your head swimming with the reality that you were being taken back, and that no one here knew for sure where you were going. Not to mention that since you fought back, there would be a certainty of pain when you got back to the cabin that you hadn’t known in a long time. You took a few weary steps, your legs shaking as Caelum pulled you alongside him, wrapping his arm around your shoulders and pressing a kiss to the crown of your head.

Without much warning, you heard a few fast-paced steps from behind, followed by a grunt as Kai leapt onto Caelum’s back, his arms sliding around his neck in a chokehold. Caelum stumbled backward, throwing his head back and meeting Kai’s nose with a blood-curdling crack. Kai released his hold and fell to the ground as Caelum steadied himself, reaching into his jacket pocket and silently pulling out a large, serrated hunting knife.

You turned to find Kai on the ground, propped on his forearms with his hand to his nose, gushing dark red blood. He scurried back as Caelum let out a low growl and started walking towards him, gripping the knife in his hand.

“Stop!” you called out, running after your mate, who was determined to gut Kai. You knew the look in Caelum’s eyes too well—when red had shadowed over his vision and reason no longer existed. You grabbed his shoulder, pleading for him to stop. “Caelum, please, let’s just leave. I’ll go home without a problem, I’ll never leave again.” But he didn’t respond, continuing to trudge forward as he shook you off towards Kai, who had stumbled back onto his feet.

“Please, Caelum,” you screamed, trying to grab at the knife. You gripped his hand in your own as he turned, his face curled in angry rage. “Please, my love, let’s just go.” You heard Kai groan a few feet from you as he backed into the wall, his face reddened with blood.

You ran your hands up the length of Caelum’s arms as he looked at you, and for a second, the world seemed to stop turning. Your eyes pleaded with his, searching for a sense of pity or empathy. But there was none to be found. In a moment, Caelum raised his hand and slapped you hard across the cheek, causing your whole body to fly sideways as you let out a screech and gasp.

In the same instant, Kai rushed forward, knocking his shoulder into Caelum. Caelum raised the knife, poised to stab down into Kai’s back, but Kai raised his own arm to stop the blow. Kai struggled under Caelum’s pressure as the knife slowly inched down towards his face. Regaining your bearings, you jumped fully onto Caelum’s back, gripping his arm in your hands and trying to pull the knife back. The three of you grunted in determination until you finally brought your teeth down into the soft flesh of your mate’s wrist, tasting his blood as he cried out in pain.

Caelum brought his other hand up to try and pull you off, calling you every name he could think of. He gripped you by your hair, yanking you back and throwing you to the ground. Your body hit the wet cobblestone with a thump and splash. In that moment of distraction, Caelum drove the knife right down beneath Kai’s left shoulder blade, all the way to the hilt.

Kai roared out in agony, leaning forward into Caelum, who twisted the knife in the flesh, causing a sickening squelch as blood poured from the wound. You cried out for Kai as Caelum tugged the knife free, now dripping with blood, and sheathed it. Kai fell to the ground in a heap.

“No, no, no!” you screamed, crawling over to Kai, who lay wheezing.

Caelum twisted his head, as if trying to work out a spasm, his hand coated in blood as he wiped the knife on his pants and sheathed it. You pressed into the wound on Kai’s back as he groaned in pain. “Just stay with me,” you ordered, looking around as Caelum seemed to reorient himself. “Help!” you screeched, “Someone please help me!”

As your cries echoed, the sound of heavy footsteps came down the street. Caelum stepped forward, wrapping his bloodied hand around your mouth to stop your screams and hauling you upwards. Behind you, the gates of the city shut as Caelum hissed out a curse, his hand still pressed over your mouth as he considered his options. You still looked down at Kai, who was turning pale as the blood drained from his wound, wheezing out. Tears clouded your vision as you fought against your mate’s hold, but his grip was too tight.

As the footsteps pounded closer, Caelum took off with you in his arms down the side street. As he turned the corner, taking you out of sight of the stables, you saw Kai’s face, clenched in pain, one hand extending out to you.

....Sorry: @thatacotargirl @mcuamerica @lilah-asteria @florabelll @fightmedraco @marvelbros-oneshots @mariahoedt @quinzzelx @romantasyreader28 @minnieoo @mysteriouslydeafeningwerewolf @annabethgranger123 @krowiathemythologynerd @scatteredstardustt @romantacyreader28 @caroline-books @slytherintaco @sevikas-whore @sidthedollface2 @405rry @sleepylunarwolf @acourtofbatboydreams @quiettuba @julesofvolterra @skylarkalchemist @darling006 @rhysandorian

[bleucaesura]

WTF - Part 4

Blitzø wanted to curl into a ball and die. He felt so fucking small and weak and pathetic. His deepest insecurity, his biggest hurdle with Stolas, was finally laid bare at the Prince’s feet. And he was fucking TERRIFIED. All Stolas had to do was breathe and he could blow Blitzø away completely. Topple the walls Blitzø had spent his life building. Destroy him entirely. Wreck him forever for anyone else… HA! Who was he fucking kidding? There’d never be anyone else…

The empty space and silence between them began to grow like a chasm. Every second it felt to the two of them that they were drifting further apart. Soon the depth of silence and the distance between them would become too great. Too far to ever reach across again.

“Blitz!” Stolas choked in anguish. He fell to his knees, startling Blitzø. Blitzø looked at him in shock, tears streaming down his face.

“Please!” Stolas buried his face in his hands and cried. “What can I do to make you see?… How much you mean to me…” His words came in ragged gasps.

Blitzø was crumbling. He had nothing left to protect him anymore. His walls were gone. And there he stood: raw and naked, bawling like a fucking baby in front of the man he loved, the man he didn’t deserve. What the fuck was he supposed to say?

Try and ruin it. OBVIOUSLY… fuck me…

“What could I possibly mean to anyone?” He muttered, hugging himself tightly. “Especially you?… I’m a worthless nobody.”

Stolas lashed out and grabbed Blitzø tightly by the shoulders and shook him. HARD.

Blitzø’s head snapped forward and back once like the crack of a whip; his teeth gnashed so hard they felt like they might crack

“How DARE YOU!” Stolas yelled at him in between tears. “After ALL this TIME!” His hands gripped tighter, making Blitzø wince.

Stolas was angry. Really fucking angry. But also frantic and confused.

“After ALL the time we SPENT together! How DARE you say you don’t mean anything to me!!” His pupils danced in his glowing ruby eyes.

Blitzø was transfixed, caught in their glare.

“You’re worth EVERYTHING to me, Blitz! You and Octavia are my WORLD!” Stolas shook him again, but his anger was waning. His grip was loosening. His bottom lip quivered.

Blitzø didn’t stamp out his thoughts anymore… He DESPERATELY wanted to kiss those lips.

“I went to the human world for you! Risked exposure! Risked EVERYTHING for you!” Stolas’s grip loosened and his hands began to slip away. “And you didn’t even… You left…” His voice shook. He sniffled back tears. “You didn’t even care enough to visit me in the hospital!”

Blitzø’s heart dropped.

NO!

His hands snapped up and caught Stolas’s before he could pull them away completely.

“I DO CARE!” Blitzø cried desperately. “I care SO FUCKING MUCH, Stolas!”

Stolas jolted in shock. He stared wide-eyed and unblinking back at Blitzø. His heart raced and threatened to beat out of his chest.

Blitzø actually cared for him? He felt his beak flapping open and closed like a fish gasping for breath - speechless and dumbstruck.

Stolas.exe has ceased to function. Please reboot.

Blitzø clasped Stolas’s hands tightly between his and stared into his eyes pleadingly. Desperate for him to understand. For him to not reject him. For him to stay.

“I’ve ripped myself apart EVERY. SINGLE. DAY since Striker took you! Since I saw you wheeled into that hospital!” Blitzø’s voice cracked.

Stolas finally felt himself coming back online. He shook his head to clear the mess, and pointedly made eye contact with Blitzø. He looked so desperate. So broken.

I want to hold him so much…

Stolas leaned in, returning the hold of Blitzø’s hands; lacing their fingers together.

Blitzø shivered and averted his gaze, but gripped tighter to Stolas’s hands.

“It was MY fucking FAULT you got hurt, Stolas.” Blitzø choked out. “I didn’t DESERVE to be around you. I didn’t DESERVE to feel relief. I made my fucking bed when I left you high and dry and I had to fucking LAY IN IT!”

Blitzø spat the words out with such hatred and venom his body shook.

It pained Stolas so badly to hear Blitzø speak this way.

“Blitz…” Stolas whispered sadly. He rubbed his thumbs back and forth over Blitzø’s. He hoped it would be a welcome and calming show of affection.

He had never seen Blitzø like this before. So open. So vulnerable. He knew he was being given a gift. Something very precious. And that’s why he was so terrified to say the wrong thing. Afraid to say something that would have Blitzø slamming the door in his face, never to see this side of him again.

Stolas watched as Blitzø’s measured breaths became slower and less frantic. He continued to rub his thumbs over Blitzø’s. And he definitely wasn’t thinking about how beautiful this man was. How much he loved these hands, and what they could do to-

AHEM…

“But… Your colleagues. Moxxie and Mildred? They came…” Stolas said cautiously. “Was that not your doing?”

Blitzø startled and whipped back to look at Stolas. He searched those ruby eyes for… What? What was he looking for?

Stolas looked down at Blitzø imploringly. Head tilted slightly at the question, eyes soft, and the faintest smile at the corner of his mouth. Blitzø felt a heat pool in his stomach and his legs jelly.

“I…” He blinked a few times trying to remember what the fuck he was supposed to be saying.

Fuck, he’s gorgeous…

Stolas squeezed his hands reassuringly.

“Fuck… Yes?…” Blitzø heaved a heavy sigh and threw his head back to look at the ceiling. He couldn’t focus when he was looking at Stolas.

“I mean… I wasn’t sure what I was gonna do, but then Millie, like, offered?… And Mox was all eager and shit… And… FUCK…” Blitzø started to hyperventilate. He didn’t want to live this over again. He dropped Stolas’s hands without realizing it and backed away. He grabbed his head trying to drown out the deafening blood pounding in his ears and paced.

Stolas watched on in anguish. The man he loved was tearing himself apart because he didn’t think HE was enough for HIM. Not the other way around. It was so stupid a thing that Stolas would have laughed if it hadn’t caused them so much pain.

Stolas took off his hat and clutched it tightly in his hands. He glared at the crown on its brim. He wanted to crush it, destroy all it stood for. Instead, he tossed it aside.

Fuck it. Fuck it ALL!

“Loona NEEDED that shot… She NEEDED IT…” Blitzø couldn’t breathe. He felt like he was drowning. He stopped and turned to Stolas. And there he was. The light at the end of the tunnel. The surface. All he had to do was reach it.

Blitzø stumbled over himself to get back to Stolas. To reach the surface.

He tripped. Stolas caught him. They clutched each other’s forearms, hands at their elbows. When he looked up, their faces were so close.

“I didn’t…” He swallowed, shuttering the desperate thoughts of kissing him. “I couldn’t fucking CHOOSE.”

Blitzø broke.

“I COULDN’T CHOOSE!” The tears gushed and he shook.

“Dearest…”

Stolas yanked Blitzø and held him in a tight hug against him.

Blitzø froze for only a moment and then he was crying, grasping desperately to Stolas and burying his face into his chest feathers, breathing in his scent.

Stolas cooed soothing words over and over “It’s alright. I understand. You did nothing wrong.” And stroked Blitzø’s back. He rested his chin on the top of his head and relished the feeling of holding him in his arms.

Blitzø knew Stolas was trying to make him feel better, but he knew didn’t deserve it.

He tried to wriggle free.

Stolas loosened his hold on Blitzø when he felt him struggling in his arms. He looked down to see him trying to push away from him. His heart dropped.

“Blitz…” His voice cracked. “What are you doing?”

Blitzø shoved him away, his chest caving in with the effort, his world crumbling down around him. He couldn’t take Stolas down with him. He could at least spare him this.

“I fucking HATE myself Stolas!” He cried.” I break everything I touch!…”

Stolas reached out to him pleadingly, his eyes filled with tears.

“Blitz! Please…” He managed to brush the back of his hand and they looked at each other. Just looked at each other.

Lust and longing and anguish and anger and desperation and despair and friendship and flirations and laughter and love… and love… love… love…

Blitzø staggered back like he’d be shoved.

FUCK!

“I love you too much to break you too!” He cried.

Blitzø fell to his knees. He grabbed his horns and fell forward into a ball, forehead and horns pressed to the floor. He curled as close to his knees as he could.

***

[runawaymun]

so.. reading and looking at your fics and art kinda makes me wanna try my hand at some stuff too (they are just so beautiful and elicit so many feels), but. you seem so knowledgeable and familiar with tolkien/elves lore (and so does everyone else i've started reading in this community of elf-lovers on tumblr haha) and i'm most assuredly not. i don't get so many of the world-building allusions authors make about the history/culture/magic, which is easy enough to deal with when reading, but do you think i'd be able to write anything good with such limited understanding of the world i'm writing in? i'm not even confident enough for modern au's because idek that much about the character's relationships/connections with each other, y'know? but what do you think? would the holes i have or straight up inaccuracies rly weaken the story and interrupt the reader's connection to the world/character's, or could i still get by? tolkien's worldbuilding is so intimidating lol

Oh my goodness, this is such a sweet ask.

I'm really glad that you love my art and writing so much, and I consider it SUCH a huge compliment that it inspires you to make your own! That's what it's all about, honestly.

So first off I just want to address the anxiety around the lore-knowledge and the Tolkien fandom because listen listen listen, there are people of every level of knowledge creating art and fics here. Let me just say that when I first published And the Stars Shine the Same three years ago, I was mostly working off of film knowledge and some vague book knowledge, and I was petrified to post it because of how intimidating the Tolkien fandom seemed. I was so worried about getting this wrong and making mistakes -- so know that you're not alone in that, and it is a very common anxiety in this fandom. The thing is, when I posted that fic I found that people loved it, and that everyone was so nice, and really I have not had anybody (save maybe...one person off the top of my head) get very nitpicky about the lore/language/etc. Everybody else was very nice, loved the fic, and super receptive and friendly.

I promise you that there are so many lovely people in this fandom and that, while they're extremely knowledgeable they're also so friendly. Nearly everybody I know would be delighted if you came into their inbox and asked them a question about their specific area of interest with regards to the Silm and LOTR. There are amazing resources in this fandom, and everybody is very happy to help when asked. When I was getting started I mostly talked to friends, looked at other fanart (because honestly there is a LOT of information packed into how people portray characters in fanart for this fandom), and when I wasn't sure on something I just checked the wikis. I believe Tolkien Gateway is one of the best resources, though I also use The One Wiki to Rule Them All, and this is one of the best resources I've found for just a quick look at common Sindarin phrases, and for everything else I use Parf Edhellen which is an incredibly comprehensive dictionary for Tolkien's various elvish languages. And if you're not sure on something, just send a call out into the void because there are dozens of besties on Tumblr who are happy to offer suggestions for names or phrase translations. There's also so much information on Youtube.

I didn't even get around to reading the Silm and rereading LOTR until I felt like it. Honest to god I looked at the wikis and asked friends for most of the stuff I needed.

And I know how intimidating it can be to build your own story within Tolkien's world, but for me what I liked so much about his work is that--- while he is specific on some things, he's also very vague on others. There is a lot of room for interpretation and your own headcannons and worldbuilding. That was part of why I chose the historical spot I did for Stars and Boundless Sky, because it was sort of "dead space" so to speak with regards to Tolkien's own worldbuilding, and so I was able to play around and do my own thing without worrying too much about stepping all over lore.

But okay, all of that to say: yes you can write good stories without being super knowledgeable. Please believe me you can. You can write whatever you want, so long as you love it, and it is yours. If you have a story you want to tell in Tolkien's little legendarium then please, please do. Tolkien's legendarium is a mythology, and mythologies are meant to be retold and reinterpreted. Tolkien's canon is incredibly loosy-goosey. There are parts of unfinished tales where Christopher Tolkien wrote: "I really couldn't make sense of my dad's notes, so here's everything. Knock yourself out ig" (notably, "Of Galadriel and Celeborn").

And Peter Jackson was fairly faithful when it comes to the og trilogy. Like there are things that I take issue with that are pet peeves of mine, and I know that's the same for a lot of people as well. Everybody has their things they take umbrage with and things they like, but generally if that's your base for knowledge you're going to be just fine to start writing fic. If you decide you want to research more, then that's up to you and the story you are trying to tell! If you're working off of the Hobbit films, that's a little different, but in general the Hobbit fandom is pretty chill when it comes to that. I would suggest reading the book if you can find the time to. It's an easy read and short, and it is very, very different to the films.

With the LOTR books...I know a lot of people are book purists and that's okay, and a lot of people go "oh you really SHOULD read the books", but tbqh as a lover of both, I think the films do a good job of telling you the heart of the story (barring a few characters like...uh. Elrond, whom PJ absolutely butchers, but I digress sorry sorry). The books do add a lot and deepen the meaning for a lot of things, and flesh a lot of characters out (and they're just fun to read), but again... yes you can write good stories without being super knowledgeable. I will say that over and over again nonnie I am grabbing you by the shoulders and looking you dead in the eye: please write your story if you want to. Please do not be afraid to just give it a stab. If you find that your lack of knowledge is holding you back for some reason, just ask! So many people will be happy to answer your questions.

Fanfiction is for everybody. Tolkien is for everybody. You do not have to be the most incredible skilled writer or know the lore really well to be able to write it. Please believe me as a person who was scared to write for the Tolkien fandom and then fell in love: people really do not gatekeep much, and if they do they're assholes. I have met so many lovely, friendly, genuine people by creating stuff for this fandom. You will be okay.

So...ough this got long, sorry. But TLDR: Yes. You can write a good story. If you are worried about holes/the story/characterization getting weakened, try to find a beta reader. They're absolute life-savers. Barring that, start posting, find a friend who as insane about your blorbos as you are, and then share snippets and plot ideas with them and within that kind of community you can get a feel for what's working in your story and what isn't. All of my best friends I have made on here are people who read my fics and have been so helpful in offering suggestions.

There are many resources, everybody is friendly, it is not as scary as it looks. The most important thing is that you have fun. Write what you want to write. It doesn't have to be good. All that matters is that you enjoy it.

[roonyxx]

Healing Love: Part 2

Summary: You have a normal life as a nurse, and you are content with it. But then a storm called Dean Winchester rolls into it and you get swept away by his charms. But secrets linger and threaten to drown you both.

Pairing: Dean x Witch!nurse!reader

Word count: 2455

Chapter warnings: angst, wounds and medical stuff (i am no professional and have no idea what the real treatments are), fluff.

support me :)

Healing Love Masterlist

My Masterlist

Deviders made by @firefly-graphics, give her some love!

The day at work seemed to last forever but eventually your shift ended and you hurried home, you jumped in the shower to shave, scrub, wax, all of it.

By the time you fed Quinn and are all dressed up it is seven.

You check your phone, no news. Which is not abnormal, he might be driving.

You sit on your porch while waiting for Dean to show up.

Seven thirty rolls around and no news.

You dare to send him a little text.

“Hey, it was seven at my place, right?” you send to him.

No answer. It’s not even read.

Quinn can feel your sadness at being stood up and lays his furry head on your lap.

“Perhaps he’s just late.” You tell him while stroking his ears.

Or he stood you up…

Around eight you go back inside and take off your heels. You really thought he liked yesterday’s kiss…

Was it a bad kiss? To you it was the best kiss ever. But maybe not to him? Is that why he ghosted you?

A smile blooms on your face when you hear your phone ringing, but as soon as it came it fades at the unfamiliar number.

“Damn spammers.” You mutter while hanging up.

Was it a little high hopes on your side that Dean wanted to go out on a date with you? Maybe… he is extremely beautiful. But he was the one who suggested it. It made no sense.

The number pops up on your screen again and you grunt while you hang up. Only for the number to pop up again.

“Jeez this one is motivated.” You sigh.

You stare at the number, maybe it’s work?

Not like you have plans for tonight anyway. You pick up.

“Hello?”

“Is this Y/N?” A strange voice asks you, but there is something similar about it.

“Yeah? Who is asking?” You frown.

“My name is Sam, I’m Dean’s brother, we need your help.” He sounds in a hurry, or worried even.

“My help?” That couldn’t be good…”Where is Dean?”

“He got hurt, badly… I know you don’t know me but- but he needs you. I will send you coordinates, could you come to us?”

“If he’s hurt badly he needs to go to a hospital.” You say, hurt again? Yesterday the cut, today this…

What are they involved in?

“That’s not an option, please Y/n, I- I don’t think he will get through the night without you.” He sounds so desperate.

Rubbing your face you grab your big bag for emergencies. “Send me the address, I will come.”

“Thank you” he sighs with relief “I sent the text, you text me when you’re here. Hurry please, Y/n.” And then he hangs up.

Walking with your big bag to your car you check the coordinates.

Who uses coordinates? You put them in your gps and see it’s just on the edge of town. You speed down the roads to get there within thirty minutes.

You get out of your car and frown, there is nothing but an old factory and woods here.

You send your text to Sam, telling him you’re here.

The big metal door of the factory opens with a loud creak.

“Y/n! Hurry, he’s in here.” Sam says from the opening.

You hurry down the little steps and follow Sam inside and look over the railing with wide eyes.

This isn’t an old factory…

The magic inside you immediately reacts to the sigils that are hidden in the walls. This whole building is magical, powerful. Your magic eases against the sigils with a soft hand, reassuring them you are not a threat. Once they are soothed they stop oppressing you like an intruder.

Inside is a very big room with many lights and machines you don’t understand. A big world map table lighting up in the middle.

And on that table is an unconscious Dean, bleeding heavily from his stomach and his face is covered in blood from a cut you can’t see.

“Oh god…” You run down the few stairs and get to the table.

“What happened!” You scream at Sam while you get to work.

Ripping open your bag you get out your stethoscope and listen for his heartbeat. It’s there but weak…

Bloodpressure is too low, he lost a lot of blood…

“What is his blood type?” You ask while cutting open his shirt.

His stomach… It’s shredded, this needs a surgeon, not a nurse.

“His b-bloodtype uhm” I can see Sam shaking in the corner of my eye, “we’re both O.” He eventually says.

“Sam…”

“I can’t explain what happened, he got c-cut open. Please… do something.”

“I’m not a surgeon.” You pant, the panic and magic rising within you.

He needs my magic but…

But the way he gets hurt every day, no hospital, the magic of this place...

Your eyes water while looking at his unconscious face, of course he has to be a damn hunter…

Hunters murdered your friend ten years ago. You swore to her to never get near a hunter again, it was the last thing she asked of you.

You have plenty of catheters and bags to make a blood transfusion. It’s not at all like the protocol in the hospital but it will have to do.

You can’t let him die.

“Sam, you need to get me some tape, water, a bowl, a lighter, and all the bandages you have. Go now.”

Sam nods and runs out of the room.

Giving you the chance to be alone with Dean.

You put on your gloves and start cleaning his stomach as much as possible to see the damage.

Definitely werewolf claws…

You grunt, “I can’t stitch this much shredded skin…”

You look over your shoulder to make sure Sam isn’t here and take off your gloves to start rubbing your hands together.

They heat up and start glowing with a golden light, you make your hands hover over his wound.

It is impossible to heal it all, your magic untrained and rarely used. But you will do what is possible.

You know that with training you would be able to heal a lot of things, but using it is very dangerous and it drains you. A lot.

You focus on healing the cells of his intestines, healing every precious organ that is inside, then you focus on the peritoneum, the bag that seals the intestines.

Sweat is forming on your brow and you wipe it away with your sleeve to prevent it from falling inside his wound.

Dizziness is creeping in and you push your magic to knit his stomach muscles back together and heal the edges of his wound, you can stitch them when they are less shredded.

You are panting heavily by the time your magic runs out. But you check his wound and are satisfied to see his muscles are perfectly closed.

You thread your needle, black spots are creeping into your vision but you push through.

Sam comes running in with everything you asked for.

“Tell me what to do.” He says.

“Check his head, find the cut and tell me if it’s deep, clean up as much as you can.”

He nods and does exactly that while you stitch his layers of skin back together.

“It’s not deep but bleeding hard, it’s just on the edge of his hairline.”

“Keep pressure on it and use butterfly bandage to put it back together. It should hold.”

I finish with my stitches and put a big bandage over his stomach, then wrapping a compression bandage around his entire waist to keep it all in place.

You move next to Sam to check Dean’s head, it is indeed not very deep and what Sam did will be sufficient.

You go to Dean’s arm and put in a catheter, you give him some antibiotics to fight of any bacteria that got in his open wound and a shit ton of pain killers, then you move to Sam.

“Sam, sit, he needs blood.”

You grab his arm and start drawing blood to make a transfusion.

After Sam donated the maximum he can, you make shift a pole to hook the blood bag so it can slowly enter Dean.

“You’re both very lucky to have O.” You sigh, exhaustion is starting to claim you but Dean can’t stay on the table, he needs to be comfy. You give Sam just a little time and hand him a cookie to get his sugars up.

“Can you carry him?” You ask Sam.

He nods “I can. W-will he be okay?”

“He can’t stay on the table. I don’t know yet, I gave him a lot of pain meds, he should wake up in a few hours, or his heart can stop from the trauma.” I say as my eyes stay on his chest, that’s slowly moving up with each breath he takes.

Alive. He’s alive.

Sam carefully picks Dean up. You stay close, making sure the blood bag stays above Dean’s head.

Sam walks him through the enormous building and reaches what you presume is Dean’s bedroom and puts him in the bed.

You arrange his pillow and cover him so he doesn’t get cold, then grab a chair and sit next to his bed.

You take off your smart watch, turn on the sound and wrap it around Dean’s wrist, a faint beeping noise sounding that follows the rhythm of his heart.

“Get some rest Sam, I will be here, if his heart stops, my watch will make an alarm noise, I will stay here, making sure he’s okay.”

“I want to stay here.” He argues.

“I can’t have you in the room when he crashes, which is a chance. Go to bed, try to rest. You will need your strength when he wakes up.”

If he wakes up…

Sam gives a little nod and reluctantly leaves.

You slump in the chair and watch Dean breathe. The exhaustion will claim you soon, so you learn forward and touch his chest, putting your very last magic into his heart. The weak rhythm of his heart starts to pick up,  with your magic it became stronger.

With the reassurement that he won’t die, you stop fighting the exhaustion and pass out.

“Y/n?” you hear your name being faintly said, but your eyes won’t open just yet. Your body feels as if it is submerged in deep dark waters, every movement feels heavy and hard.

“Y/n?” your name is repeated, and you can feel yourself rising up to the surface of consciousness.

Your eyes peel themselves open and made contact with two spring forest green eyes.

Dean.

Dean!

Your eyes jump open and you reach his side.

“You’re awake.” You gasp, you check the watch around his wrist and see three hours have passed, his heartbeat and blood pressure are not perfect yet but they are good enough.

“How do you feel?” You ask him while taking off the now empty blood bag from his catheter.

“Not great.” He winces with a small smile, “But seeing you definitely helps.”

He still looks very pale.

“Pain?” You ask him while getting some more painkiller in a needle and putting it in his catheter.

He nods.

“This will help.”

He carefully lifts the covers to see his stomach, all wrapped up. “The last time I looked here I saw inside myself… I thought-“ he swallows hard and looks at you, “I missed our date.”

You can’t help but chuckle, “You almost died and you’re thinking about our date?”

“I was looking forward to it.” He defends.

“Me too.” You softly whisper.

“This isn’t what I had in mind as a date.” He lowers the cover again, “How did you get here?”

“Sam called me urgently, saying he needed my help and let me in. Good he did, I managed to help you, the next weeks will be hard, Dean. We will see each other a lot more. You talked about me to Sam?”

The smile he gives you is far from weak, “To see you a lot more doesn’t sound bad at all. I did… I was excited to tell him about you.”

You give him a smile back, blushing at how he wanted to tell his brother about you.

How you ever doubted for a second to not use your magic to heal him.

You would risk it all just to see him smile.

“What was your idea of a date?” You ask him to keep his mind, and perhaps your own, off how close he came to dying.

“Something cheesy, like a picknick in a field with a pretty sunset. Dropping you back at your place after we had a great time and then, then I would kiss you again.” He says.

You smile, “So you’re a romantic guy, huh?”

“Very.” He grins and tries to lean towards you, only resulting in him hissing.

“Careful!” You say and help him adjust his position by putting your arms around his naked shoulders and tugging gently on his pillow.

“That’s the second time you ripped of my clothes, you know if you want to see me naked sweetheart, all you have to do is ask.”

“You’re such a flirt.” You smile at him and realize how close your faces are together, you glance down at his lips.

“I regret not kissing you tonight.” He whispers against your lips.

“Tonight isn’t over yet.” You whisper back.

He smiles and closes the gap between you two. Kissing you deeply.

You carefully cup his face, kissing him back.

He moans when your tongue brushes against the seam of his lips, asking for entrance, which he grants.

His hand comes up to brush your cheek. He tilts his head to the side and deepens the kiss, more moans spilling out from his mouth.

You’re panting against him, your hands slipping in his hair as you get lost in him.

A harsh hiss breaks you apart and you see that he tried to pull you closer, resulting in hurting himself. You slowly peel yourself away from Dean.

“You need to rest,” you pant, your lips swollen and wet from his kiss, “No excessive moving for you for at least two weeks.”

“The idea of taking a nurse on a date is much sexier than in real life.” He grunts as lays back down more comfortably, “No excessive moving, so no kissing?” he gives you the biggest puppy eyes, almost as cute as Quinn’s.

You blush and say “Only kissing is okay. Calm kissing.”

“I can survive with calm kissing,” he smiles then winks, “For now.”

You blush even harder and smile.

“Rest Dean, you need it. I will be here.”

Forever Tags 2024: @jay-and-dean @flamencodiva @snowlovespie @awkward-and-indecisive @hobby27

Dean tags 2024: @akshi8278 @pink-sparkly-witch @verytoadpapersoul @eevvvaa @muhahaha303 @alwaystiredandconfused @deansimpalababy @globetrotter28

Healing Love tags: @deans-spinster-witch @kr804573 @suckitands33 @bitchykittenconnoisseur @brightlilith @snowayumi

send me an ask if you want to be on any of my tag lists! (or if you want to be removed)

[fvckwluv]

how has writing been going ? any spencer snippets you are willing my lord🙌🏻👑

hello!! lol. writing has been so fun!! i'm always writing honestly, but never fiction so much anymore. so being inspired by all the other spencer writers has been so fun! it's a really silly and easy way to stretch out that muscle.

it doesss take me time to write lol. i am a notorious over writer. i try my best to cut stuff down, but that's just truly not how i operate.

plus i have been superrrrrr busy lately lol. so im sorry to everyone i've been holding out on!

i do have two spencer requests im currently working on:

spencer spending the night for the first time

spencer asking reader to move in

those are a bittttt harder for me, just 'cause i'm not super used to writing things where the relationship is pre-existing. my fave fics to read and write are confessions/build up hahaha. but i still do very much love these, just not the best at it! so ill probably keep those shorter.

as well as one of my own ideas that is gonna be longerrrr one:

smosh is going to florida for playlist live and the company is booking everyone's flights. after they all deny your pleads to do a road trip instead, you confess to everyone your fear of flying. so spencer makes a pact to help you out and be your travel partner.

here is a snippet from that one! (i've literally never been on an airplane so if this doesn't make sense i am asking you to suspend your disbelief for a second, thank you!)

Your brave facade immediately crumbled. A panic set through you and you felt your face go numb. Not only were you now being forced to face your fear of flying for the very first time- you'd have to do it all alone.

"How is that possible? All of our tickets were booked together." You usually were overly nice to any employee at any place you went, but it was clear your terror was coming out as irritation.

"I understand. Unfortunately there's nothing I can do. But I can get you a seat on the next flight in six hours."

Spencer noticed the color leave your face and your eyes wander off into a world far from this one. He was taken aback. He'd never seen you like this. Your usual upbeat persona was all he'd ever known. Seeing you so scared sent a twinge through his chest.

"Can they just take my ticket?" He was speaking to the woman at the desk, but his eyes were still locked on a, miles-away-from-here, you.

"I'm sorry, but that's not how it works."

Spencer noticed your breathing get heavier and faster, tears were forming in your eyes. His eyebrows furrowed and his eyes were darting rapidly all over you. Spencer felt an insurmountable urge from his gut to do whatever he could in that moment to help you.

"Well, what if..." He looked back to the woman. "What if you move me on that flight too?"

He noticed that snapped you back into reality.

"Well, it looks like there is another seat available, but I wouldn't be able to just move you on that flight. You'd have to purchase a whole new ticket."

"That's fine. Go ahead and book it." Spencer responds without hesitation, immediately reaching for his wallet.

"Spence." You place a hand over his card. "No, don't do that."

He looks over at you with a seriousness in his eyes you haven't seen from him before. "You can't be alone, y/n."

You knew he was right. You knew he could feel your hand tremble over his. But him going through all that trouble and paying hundreds of dollars made you feel so guilty.

You couldn't even respond. You were just looking up at him, with wide eyes. Usually, he loves looking into them, but in this moment- his heart ached. Your tears. Your concerned brows. Your trembling lips. He could see your guilt and your fear. He couldn't take it.

"Y/n." He tilted his head at you with a pleading, sympathetic look. "Just let me look after you. For my own sake. Please?"

Suddenly, a warmth ran through your cold nerves. And you were finally able to let out a breath you've been holding. You took your hand away from his.

"Thank you." Your voice cracked.

"I'm doing this for myself," Spencer attempted to lighten the mood. "I don't wanna lose my seat buddy. Who knows what rando they'd sit me next to?"

He was able to pull a weak smile out of you.

That wasn't enough.

"Seriously." He leaned over to whisper in your ear. "There's no one else I'd rather be with right now, okay?"

[browneyedartist01]

My thoughts during the final hour of acomaf:

(Bare in mind that I notched up the speed to 1.5 then 1.75, and these thoughts are not in order)

-"You don't need proof that it works, I'm proof that it works-"

Weren't you made by high lords?

-"I will destroy your court."

And I will hate you. More so than I already do

-"He held out his hand like I was some pet."

"Come home."

My thoughts:

"Come home with me."

"Who are you?"

"The man whose gonna marry you, I'm Orpheus."

"Who am I?"

"Eurydice, *laughs* the girl who makes me wanna sing, the women I'm marrying."

-Why dose the evil man sounds like a radio announcer?

-Lucian really setting the bar higher already in how to care for your mate, as expected. (Go little Rock star)

-He broke through the bounds that a high lord couldn't break through just to go to her?!?!

-And he gave her his coat to cover her??

-"There were different kinds of torture I realized, there was ones I went through, what Rhys went through and then this."

Yeah, now you know how Tamlin felt utm.

- Did Nesta just give the evil king the middle finger? Ew, sarah cringe stop it.

-Cassian just keep dying sweetie, don't touch Nesta.

-Nesta be nice to your future brother in law.

- Freye unlocked a new power, somehow.

-Cheesy, this is all so cheesy.

- "his green eyes met mine, the sorrow and tenderness in them was the most hideous thing I've ever seen."

Wow, ok...

-Tamlin acting like Ryhsand though with Tamlin it's justified/understandable

- *me counting down the final 22 minutes while freye is dying*

-"I nerely gagged on his scent."

Freye darling, I get your upset about his deal with evil king. But he literally tried to save your sisters, stop being so dramatic.

- "my family."

It's been 3 months girly.

- "Tamlin ignored Lucian, so I did too."

Sums up Freye and Lucain's friendship

-Of course all the queens' want is eternal youth,

- Lucian naturally being the smartest one in the room.

-Noooo, not Ryhsand pov. 😭 this better not be the last 17 minutes.

-Holy crap, I just realized how similar this ending is to season 2 of lore olympus ending.

-Don't worry, the bat boys plot armor is thick. Sarah loves you monsters too much.

-Mor don't rip out the arrow it will only make it worse.

-Ryhsand please think, do you really think Tamlin would actually partner with evil king? He didn't even trust evil fae women when she first appeared, what makes you think he would actually help him beyond getting freye back?

-"she is my mate, my wife, the high lady of the night court."

BANG, CRASH A LIGHTING BLAST! (no joke there was thunder after he said this in the dramatized version)

I have 2 thoughts on this one:

1. There was a fan theory during the court trial in lore olympus (persephone was on trail for mass murder, long story) where hades and persephone got married before the trail started because at one point he called her his wife. This wasn't the case because she was 20 and he was in his 2000 (aka 40's) Idk if Rachel was a fan of acotar and wanted to steal from it (since acomaf was released in 2016 and the trial was released in 2020) but because people guessed it she dropped it. Idk that's just a my own theory.

2. How can she be the high lady when the mother is the one to give out titles? Do you realize what you just start Ryhsand? This could lead to more war against the more religious courts, this could lead to the end of the night court if the mother finds out... oh wait, this is acotar. Not real high fantasy, there's no real religious world building.

-"I've forgotten how quiet it was here, how small, how empty"

You do this every time freye, anytime your some where "better" you always just stick your noise up at your old home.

-Freye acting high and mighty towards Tamlin as if she wouldn't had praised Ryhsand for doing the same thing.

- Lucian, you are truly the best character.

-"My sister mate, the mother did indeed seem to have a sense of humor."

What do you mean? He would be a great mate. But then again you're suffering because of it...which makes it so much better.

- "as if he could do that to anyone."

But- but he did freye. And tbh I think he would have done worse to you if he deemed it necessary.

-Freye is really giving evil queen vibes. I wish I could enjoy it, but I know sarah is going to make her the "hero"

And that's it, Thank Saints.

[sparxaf]

Tried S9 or whatever

I didn't want to play. I just wanted to see what the MC options were because it's fun to build an MC. So I built this one with kind of stupid space bun hair because all the hair is stupid and looks wrong, like the volume of the hair is too small for the size of the head and the head looks too small for the width of the shoulders. And oh my god why did the locs look so bad? Fusebox has done locs successfully before, so I know they know how! What even is this? Every season it gets worse and worse with them paywalling all the protective hair options, and then having the audacity to give so little fucks about making them look decent (I will admit, I liked the mermaid braids last season though). As a woman of color it's just infuriating. But yeah, after building an MC that I liked, it was 92 gems. 92. If you buy the 140 gem package in the US for $9.99, that means it would cost $6.56 before the game even started. What? Just to be pied off by characters I never liked to start with? I shut the game down without buying a single thing or even making it past the creation process. I can spend less on an overpriced tea latte from Starbucks that will give me much more joy.

I know I say I'm done every season and then I get sucked in because my fandom friends beg me to play, but I really do think I might be done with this one. I'm just beyond uninterested. Their bait and switch "All-Stars" BS already set my teeth on edge, and I hate the "stars" they've brought back. I've seen the possible list of returning characters and there isn't a single one I care enough about to entice me to play. I love Marshall but if he comes back as a host, I don't care. It won't be canon to me. And if he comes back as a returning islander, I don't care because it won't be canon to me. There is such a fundamental disconnect in Fusebox's understanding of what people want. I'm just fucking tired. The seasons are coming so fast and furious that the fandom can't even get on its feet and enjoy what happened. I keep having to go back to the fandom wiki to even remember what happened in the previous seasons because they're just blurring together in my mind. There's no time to discuss it or theorize or come up with fun fanon. To make mood boards and character boards dedicated to what kind of house they'd live in. There's no time to craft a long fic for the season that just ended unless you start it at the beginning of the season before events even happen. It's just sucked out all the joy. Which maybe, might be the point? Throw them at us so fast, we play hard, and don't have time to think about it or criticize it or come up with ways to make it better. Consume it like a rice cake. Flavorless and forgettable. And I say this as someone who actually rather enjoyed last season, until it got stupid repetitive, with what felt like zero branching.

I dunno. I'm just not having fun. For those who are having a good time, or at least enjoying the chaos and train wreckage, I'm so glad. I look forward to hearing about it because I know I will 😆 For me, I'm gonna be focusing more on finishing TSIME and then working on some original fiction. And maybe some Romance Club fanfic, if the mood strikes me. Because the world building, branching, storytelling, and sexy love interests (even when I hate them) are delicious and immersive. NGL it's expensive, but RC is more generous with their gem rushes and tea parties and whatnot so I don't feel ripped off.

I mean look at this man. If I have to spend my hard earned money on something other than tea lattes from Starbucks, I'm spending it on him.

[bywandandsword]

So I was just told something interesting

You know how a lot of these big Victorian houses have seemingly useless railings around windows that are clearly not balconies? Come to find out these sorts of houses were built so that you could close off parts of the house from each other, like if you had guests or were hosting a party or something. But staff still needed to be able to get around so these windows would be large enough that staff could go out one window from one closed off section of the house to the other. It also gave the effect that guests rarely actually saw staff moving around doing day-to-day tasks. And apparently, a lot of these windows had hidden panels that swung out and make it look like the window wasn't there from inside the room When I heard that, I immediately thought about a lot of modern criticism of older novels books that feature wealthier protagonists, who talk about their isolation and loneliness. I've heard people discussing these protagonists say things like "How can you be lonely when you're surrounded by staff? It must be their sense of class that prevents them from seeing the staff as people who they can socialize with". That is absolutely at play, don't get me wrong. But with the windows in mind and the knowledge that one of the marks of a good staff at the time was to be as unseen as possible, I think it's completely possible that these protagonists, and the real people they represented, really DID feel that they were completely alone in their houses. Not only were all these social structures in place to keep them separate from everyone else in the house, but also these physical structures that further limited interaction. Because we no longer build houses like this and a lot of older surviving houses no longer have this feature, it's a bit of context that modern readers aren't aware of

I think it's really interesting, cause it gives a whole new context to these stories and social life in the period, and also makes me wonder about what other context that we're not aware of when looking at history or fiction from previous time periods that would re-frame our understandings of the event of those times

[lunarharp]

warming back up..with silliness.. watching shrek 2 again & Dreams . cause i have a lot of dreams that are weird

[puppyeared]

Atla live action 😐

[itspileofgoodthings]

I was teaching Ophelia’s death scene this week and one of my classes spontaneously giggled when she died (because they are 16 years old and emotionally immature) and I said, in a shocked voice, “it is NOT funny” and they all insisted that it was and so I let it go but then the next day I showed them some Ophelia art, made them think about how sinister it was that her death happens offstage but is still described in such detail for the viewer, which tells us she was WATCHED but not HELPED as she died, and then played a clip from Branagh’s Hamlet of Kate Winslet singing a mourning song for her father and when I tell you how satisfying it was to hear a total and complete hush fall over the room

[19871997]

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[0fps]

really loving wuwa so far, it still lags a bit here and there but it kinda feels like it just has to marinate for a while? first 10 minutes are painful but after it seems like it has its assets cached or something and it isn't as much a problem anymore. it also looks like kuro games has been working overtime putting in patch fixes asfdjlkadfsj god speed to the devs fr