#to clarify this isn't hate- I really liked the show it was a good time

[that-dumb-dinosaur]

funniest part of dead boy detectives was the show trying to convince the audience the characters were 16 years old.... ok, if you say so

[bowtiepastabitch]

Heaven's Not Homophobic in Good Omens, and Why That's Important

I need to preface this with, I am not trying to start a fight or argument and won't tolerate any homophobic or bad faith arguments in response to this. Cool? Cool.

This is in large part inspired by this ask from Neil's blog, which sparked some discourse that I don't want to get involved in but that brought up some analytic questions for me.

He goes on to reblog a question asking about Uriel's taunt specifically, clarifying that "boyfriend in the dark glasses" can just as easily be read/translated from angelic as girlfriend or bosom buddy. The idea is that an angel and a demon "fraternizing" is seriously looked down upon, not that heaven is homophobic. And that's super important.

We see homophobia in both the book and show, of course. Aziraphale is very queer-coded, intentionally and explicitly so, and we see the reaction of other humans to that several times. Sergeant Shadwell, for example, and the kid in the book that calls him the f-slur when he's doing magic at Warlock's birthday party. These are, however, individual human reactions to his coding as a gay man.

I am, personally, not a fan of heaven redemption theories for the show; no hate for people who want that it's just not something I'm interested in. I don't believe that heaven is good with bad leadership, or that God Herself remains as a paragon of virtue. To me, that's not in line with the themes and messages of the show. It's important, however, that heaven doesn't reflect human vices. Heaven can be nasty and selfish and apathetic in its own right without ableism, homophobia, transphobia, or racism. This matters for two reasons.

Firstly, we don't need the -isms and -phobias to be evil or at least ethically impure. In a world where we spend so much time fighting against prejudice and bigotry, our impulse is to see that reflected in characters whose motivations we distrust or who we're intended to dislike. While it's true that that's often the big bad evil in our daily lives, it can really cheapen the malice in fictional evil from a storytelling standpoint. A villain motivated by racism or as an allegory for homophobia can be incredibly compelling, but not every bad guy can be the physical representation of an -ism. Art reflects the reality in which it's crafted, but the complexity of human nature and the evil it's capable of can't be simplified to a dni list.

Secondly, and I think more importantly, is that for Good Omens specifically, this places the responsibility for homophobia on humanity. If you're in this fandom, there's like a 98% chance you've been hurt by religion in some way. For a lot of us, that includes religious homophobia and hate, so it makes sense to want to project that onto the 'religious' structure of Good Omens. It's a story that is, in many ways, about religious trauma and abuse. However, if heaven itself held homophobic values, it would canonize in-universe the idea that heaven and religion itself are responsible for all humanity's -isms and -phobias and absolve humans of any responsibility. Much like Crowley emphasizes repeatedly that the wicked cruelty he takes responsibility for is entirely human-made, we have to accept that heaven can't take the blame for this. To make heaven, the religious authority, homophobic would simply justify religious bigotry from humans. By taking the blame for religious extremism and hatred away from heaven and the religious structure, Good Omens makes it clear that the nastiness of humanity is uniquely and specially human and forces the individual to take responsibility rather than the system. Hell isn't responsible for the Spanish Inquisition, which by the way was religiously motivated if you didn't know, and heaven isn't responsible for Ronald Reagan.

This idea is perhaps more strongly and explicitly expressed in the Good Omens novel, in the scene where Aziraphale briefly possesses a televangelist on live TV. It's comedic, yes, but also serves to demonstrate that human concepts of the apocalypse and religious fervor are deeply incorrect (in gomens universe canon) and condemn exploitation of faith practices. Pratchett and Gaiman weave a great deal of complexity into the way religion and religious values are portrayed in the book, especially in the emphasis on heaven and hell being essentially the same. They're interested in the concept of what it means to be uniquely and unabashedly human, the good and the bad, and part of that is forcing each individual person to bear the brunt of responsibility for their own actions rather than passing it off onto a greater religious authority.

Additionally, from a fan perspective, there's something refreshing about a very queer story where homophobia isn't the primary (or even a side) conflict. The primary narrative of Good Omens isn't that these two man-shaped-beings are gay, it's that they're an angel and a demon. The tension in their romantic arc arises entirely from the larger conflict of heaven and hell, and things like gender and sexuality don't really matter at all. Yes, homophobia and transphobia are very real, present issues in our everyday lives, but they don't have to be central to every story we tell. There's something really soothing about Crowley and Aziraphale being so queer-coded and so clearly enamored with each other without constantly being bombarded with homophobia and hate. It's incredible to see a disabled angel whose use of a mobility aid makes no difference in their role and to see angels and demons using they/them pronouns without being questioned or misgendered. It's all accepted and normalized, and that's the kind of representation that we as queer people deserve.

[etoilesbienne]

this isn't negative toward any cc or other fans to preface this i just want to clarify some stuff since it seems like 80% of green teams tag is people watching red team and saying things about green team which is fair but just isn't very good at showing what actually was happening in green perspective yesterday

1. blue team were not unfair in any capacity in green team's eyes. green team knew about elquackity being spawncamped by red team (even if it was a joke bit, it still lowered the green team score and not something forgotten entirely). etoiles clarified multiple times that it was unfair for fans to be mad at badboyhalo for spawncamping when no one was mad for quackity to being the same thing. it is a cheap tactic regardless, but every team was doing it at some point or another. you cannot be mad at one team for it.

2. i had to watch jaiden's pov a bit for it, and she makes it much more clear that she wanted to make an alliance between green and red to quackity with her letting quackity spawncamp her. quackity does not convey the same sentiment to the rest of green team at all. the most everyone else live on green team got was a message from quackity going like "jaidens letting me spawncamp her." green team is not at each others throats like red or blue team are, etoiles at the very least does not approach anyone with the intent to kill every single time. he just also forgets to unmute and doesn't realize no one hears him so people assume he's there to kill him. this is a really funny continued gag atp.

3. that is not green team's base, that is green team's old base now being used as a fakeout after cellbit burnt all their storage. there is no way in hell green team is showing anyone their actual base, nor would they be showing it to members of the team that caused them to move bases? 😭 i know we want love peace and happiness here but that's just not true.

4. that was a random goblin spawn. roier pulled out the goblin he found in front of etoiles when jaiden found that random goblin in old green base. they found like two more by the end of their mining trip. they did not lose their goblin. nor are they even free roaming.

5. the entirety of green team knew about blue team's logging out tactic nearly the entire time. because most of green team was doing the same tactic. quackity logged out with an hour to spare just in case.

I'm an avid green team watcher and like I don't like people using green's loss as a way to hate on blue team? Green and Blue both played fair against each other. Peace and love.

[queenlucythevaliant]

Okay, here we go. Rating literary allusions in Taylor Swift songs:

The Outside: "I tried to take the road less traveled by /but nothing seems to work the first few times/am I right?"--Starting off pretty well! She tried to take the road less traveled by, but it didn't make any difference. 8/10

Love Story: Whole song allusion to Romeo and Juliet-- All those 2008 jokes about Taylor not having read R&J weren't funny then and they aren't funny now. It's a fun, satisfying subversion. However, I am going to dock points for the fact that Romeo and Juliet aren't a prince and princess, just rich. 7/10

Love Story: "You were Romeo/I was a scarlet letter"--Is the Juliet character in "Love Story" being publicly shamed? Did she do something scandalous? There are zero other lines in this song to suggest that she did, and a fair amount of evidence that she didn't. This allusion confuses rather than clarifies and tbh this is the one people should've made fun of in 2008. 2/10

New Romantics: "We show off our different scarlet letters/ trust me, mine is better" --Hooray! She figured out what the book is about! This is a beautifully executed allusion, where "scarlet letters" represents a mark of something shameful which, in a fun subversion, is being shown off with pride. Fits the song really well. Most improved award, 11/10

Getaway Car: "It was the best of times, the worst of crimes" (A Tale of Two Cities) -- Goes in the category of "fun wordplay, but doesn't really mean anything deeper" 5/10

This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things: "Feeling so Gatsby for that whole year" --This is a perfectly serviceable allusion, but not a super interesting one. Sub "Gatsby" out with "nostalgic" and the song wouldn't change at all. She could've done a lot more with the reference, given the subject matter of the song. 6/10

cardigan: "I knew you/tried to change the ending/Peter losing Wendy" -- This works! You get a sense of Betty losing her innocence and choosing to leave James and of it being inevitable somehow. Plus, it imbues the song with a lovely fairy tale quality. 10/10

illicit affairs: "take the road less traveled by/tell yourself you can always stop" -- To take the road less traveled by is to do something risky, unpopular, or unfamiliar, not just to take a route through town where you won't run into people. Not totally egregious, but the regression from Debut is disappointing. 4/10

invisible string: "and isn't it just so pretty to think/ that all along there was some/ invisible string tying you to me."(The Sun Also Rises)--Ugggggh. Okay, so "Isn't it pretty to think so?" is this sad, tired, ironic note in The Sun Also Rises. Brett tells Jake, "We could have had a damned good time together" and Jake says "Isn't it pretty to think so?" because their whole situationship was never going to work. It's not a positive thing; it's pure, bitter Lost Generation irony. Completely out-of-place in a song about how two people we're supposed to believe will actually work as a couple. This one drives me nuts, and I don't even like Hemingway. 0/10

happiness: "I hope she'll be a beautiful fool/ who takes my spot next to you" (Gatsby)--Saying this about an ex's future SO is so... off. Like, the reason why Daisy hopes her daughter will be a beautiful fool is because it's easy. The two situations have nothing to do with one another, and not in an interesting way. 1/10

The Albatross: whole song allusion to "The Rime of the Ancient Mariner," but most notably "She's the albatross/ she is here to destroy you"--The albatross in the Rime is a good omen. The Mariner shoots is for no reason, and the albatross's death is the ostensible source of bad fortune. I wrote a whole separate post on this here. That said, culturally "albatross=bad omen" is common enough, so whatever. 3/10

I Hate It Here: "I will go to secret gardens in my mind/ people need a key to get to/ the only one is mine" -- I like this one a lot. Exactly the right vibe for the song, trying to escape something miserable by going somewhere pleasant. The key is a nice touch. Poor Archibald. 10/10

The Prophecy: "I got cursed like Eve got bitten" --No Taylor, that's not what happened. Famously, Eve was the biter in that situation. 0/10

Cassandra: whole song allusion -- correct me if I'm wrong (I haven't actually read the Illiad), but my understanding is that Cassandra died fairly far into the Trojan war, and not by burning. 4/10

[jaybirdswriting]

tips on what to add to a story after the main characters start dating?

A: Have the rest of the main cast react to their relationship! Even if it's just glancing down at their intertwined hands and sharing a knowing look.

B: Add whether or not the side characters pick up on their relationships. Are they so subtle about it that someone who hasn't spent a ton of time with them wouldn't pick up on it? Or are they so obnoxious that there's no one in the world that couldn't pick up on it?

C: No relationship is perfect. Show a conflict between them now that they have an established relationship! It doesn't have to be a big deal either. It could be something as silly as they both want the last piece of pizza.

D: Put them in a situation where their strengths really work together. (EX: Character A is level headed and Character B is analytical. Maybe they could crack a dangerous puzzle by Character B figuring out the solution and Character A making sure that they don't panic.)

E: Show how it effects the couples day to day lives. Is one person staying over a lot? Are they taking time out of their schedules to make time to see each other? Is one trying to win over the others skittish pet? There are plenty of ways a relationship could change their day to day!

F: So you know the whole "would you still love me as a worm," question? Let your characters ponder something of that sort when one of your characters changes over the course of the story. (Not change into a worm necessarily. But like...how would Character A react if Character B suddenly decided that they wanted to be a warlock after spending most of the story hating magic?)

More Undercut

G: A first date moment! (Even if you don't write the first date, tell the audience what they get up to! Maybe have one of the characters mention that they went to museum with their partner. Or have them mention that they want to get ice cream once everything has calmed down.)

H: Have the characters react to each others pets. What do they think about their partners giant dog that likes to sit in peoples laps? What do they think of their cat that doesn't like new people?

I: If one characters family is a big part of the plot or their life, you could have the other character meet their family or react to them. (EX: Character A sees their brother every other weekend and wants Character B to meet him. Or Character A's sister is famous and Character B has a reaction to learning who she is.)

J: Let them have a first kiss scene if you want one and they haven't had one yet. Even if it's in the final chapter as a final moment for their characters.

K: You could have the characters move in together or discuss moving in together one day. Who would move into who's house? What would they take with them? Would they even want to move into each others house, or would they want to get their own new place together?

L: Do they wish they could change something that happened between them before they started dating? Have them talk out loud about what they could have changed. Or maybe let them daydream about it.

M: If one character holds a secret that they STILL haven't told the other, then that should probably come out at some point.

N: Let them continue having romantic moments! Let Character A bring Character B flowers. Let Character B make a big meal for Character A.

O: Let them have more physical contact. (if the characters like physical contact of course!) That contact could be: Hugging, kissing, hand holding, rubbing their back, etc.)

P: Have them challenge each other. What happens when what Character A needs isn't what Character B wants?

Q: Have them clarify what they want out of their relationship. Are they looking for a good time, or a long term commitment?

R: Have the character react to their partner being in a dangerous situation.

S: Write about the first time they say "I love you."

T: Is this couple the type to give each other pet names? Then give them pet names for each other and let them use them!

U: Let them have moments after a big event. If something huge happens show how it effects their relationship, for better or worse.

V: Let them do something that they've always wanted to do together. Have they always talked about a big trip that they should take together? Let them! (Or if you want to go for soul crushing angst...then don't.)

W: If the couple getting together has been a big focus in your story, it wouldn't hurt to let them have at least one scene that's just them together after their romance starts. It could be a date scene, them talking about the stories events, exploring somewhere, etc.

X: Keep showing what attracts them to each other, even after they're together. Does Character A like how strong Character B is? Then let Character B have a chance to carry them bridal style.

Y: If they're trying to hide their relationship for any reason, put them in some situations where it's hard to hide. Or just have them struggle keeping it to themselves.

Z: If you don't want to write a sequel, and you don't plan on your story having an fast forward epilogue, have the couple mention what they want out of their relationship give the audience some idea of what's next for them. (EX: Maybe they both want to get married. Maybe they want kids. Maybe they want to foster animals. Maybe they want to travel.)

[punkshitposts]

genuine question, sorry if it's stupid or something

I'm all for ACAB truly, I mean that

but genuinely... if let's say someone I know goes missing or gets severely injured, what do I do instead of call the cops?

This ISN'T a stupid question at all actually this is a really common thing that comes up on both sides of the pro vs anti cop debate:

there's no good answer i can currently give you, and any answer i CAN give might not be accurate to where you live. AFAIK, in America, you can't call 911 and specifically request they don't send cops (I guess you can, but the operator doesn't have to abide by your request). In America, at least, our system just isn't set up to minimize cop interactions because cops ARE the center of the system. Telling you that you can absolutely in all circumstances get away with not interacting with cops would be irresponsible of me- you don't have to like it, I definitely don't, but until a better one is put in place we'll occasionally have to use the system to get what we want and need.

any potential 911 alternatives are generally situation specific and regional.

so, what can you do instead:

INJURY: assess. is this person already critical?

YES: you are likely going to have to bite the bullet to call 911, unless you live somewhere you can call the emergency direct to EMS.

NO: Can you move them? Can you or someone else transport them? Will they MAKE it to the hospital using these means of transportate? <- if all of these are YES, take them directly to the Emergency Room yourself and forgoe 911. If any are NO: you are likely going to need to call 911 and interact the cops that show up to save injured person.

MISSING PERSON: I don't think I can in good faith tell you that this would be a situation where you could avoid cops. It could both further any potential danger the missing individual is in, and i believe not filing a report could potentially get you yourself into trouble.

what you may be able to do instead: assess. Where SHOULD the person be? Is there any likely alternative places they could be at? can you or someone else check those places? What reason could they have to not be in the place they should be? Is this out-of-character? How long has it been since they were last seen? Do you believe they could be in danger?

Depending on the answers: First: Assuming that to classify someone as a "Missing Person", several people know their missing and not just you. if that's wrong... you should probably go tell other people. Second: I hate to say it. This is a bite-the-bullet and file a report. Third: Call applicable hotlines. Fourth: Organize search efforts. While official channels have now been used for all legal reasons, Do Not Rely On Them.

YOU ARE IN ACTIVE DANGER: Assess. Do you have the time or ability to call someone else to come help you?

YES: Make contact attempt with this person. With key words being "Active Danger", it is might probably be time to bite-the-bullet again after that. Self-Defense laws vary wildly regionally, even city-to-city, so know what yours are ahead of this. If you have to defend yourself and the offender is injured or killed, the 911 call will in most cases help you PROVE self defense.

NO: See above, minus first sentence. For clarity, I'm NOT using"Active Danger" as ye olde hostile interaction or generalized unsafe situations, but more on the lines of "active home invasion" or "person actively Trying to kill me dead right at this very second"

im not going to tell you that you should absolutely never call 911, that's incredibly irresponsible of me. im not going to tell you to let yourself or someone else die to avoid cops. in an ideal world, we would have a completely different system to use wherein "is it safer to call or to not call emergency services?" isn't a question anyone has to ask, but we don't live in that word right now. And, again and as always please feel free to add your own opinions, stances, takes, ect and to ask me to clarify things that don't make sense. This is an incredibly loaded topic that I make no claims to be an expert on, but I did answer you to the best of my current ability. I apologize for any and all clunky/awkward wordings and phrasings , and this post will probably get edited™ sometime in the future.

[malina-33]

Femme Like You - Chapter 2

Chapter 1

Summary: You are the new tour manager for Arctic Monkeys during The Car era. You are practically the only girl in the team, also younger than the rest (27 y.o.), so your skills are immediately called into question. In particular, by the frontman who is not used to being led by a woman.

Word count: 10,2k

Warnings: swearing, emotional swing (is it even a warning?), kind of voyeurism (slight), age gap

A/N: Dear friends, hi!! I know, I know that I've promised you to update the fic every 3 weeks, and the disappeared for 1.5 months, but I spontaneously found a job, so there was very little time. But the chapter is much longer and with some interesting collaborations ;) I'll hope you enjoy them!

And write down what do you think if I make a description of not only the whole work, but also the chapter before each new part? Or is it better to keep the intrigue till the end?

In any case, I look forward to your feedback, it's soooo much important for me. I won't promise to return before the end of September, but I'll do my best not to delay. I already have an interesting plot for the next chapters, you should like it💔

*guys, English isn't my first language so if I have (and I know I have lol) any grammar/logic mistakes don't hesitate to tell me :)

The first week after meeting with the group flew by unnoticed. You dealt with the documentation, understanding how necessary it is, no matter how much you hated it, phoned the representatives of Ashton Gate stadium, made sure that everything was okay and confirmed the presence of the group and even tried to check the weather since the gig would be held outside. However, it turned out to be a little more difficult with the transport company. Apparently, James forgot to warn them about the temporary removal of his duties, so you had to spend time clarifying the situation and explaining who you are. It seemed that your hands-on approach was excessive, because you were trying to control everything in one time, but only due to the feeling of extra responsibility.

Steven, as promised, sent the contacts of the guys and important people from the technical crew, so now your phone had the names of Jamie Cook, Nick O'Malley, Matthew Helders and Alex "dickhead" Turner among others. 19 years old you would definitely envy yourself. So when you got a message while cooking pasta for dinner on Saturday night, you already knew it was from the drummer and not from an anonymous online scammer.

Matthew Helders: "good evening, Miss Y/S! I hope you aren't busy. We'll wait you on the soundcheck on Monday at 2 pm in Domino, need your advice :)"

You almost overcooked Carbonara bacon rereading the message. "Do they really need my advice?" you whispered, furrowing your brows "About what?". But the only answer was:

You: "Sure! Do I need to take some 12% cider?"

Matthew Helders: "you better not show up without a package lol"

Immediately followed by:

Matthew Helders: "just kidding! We are waiting only for you, but in the company of cider it will be even better)"

You chuckled, surprised at how quickly Matt went from formal Miss at the beginning of the conversation to smiles and lols at the end. To tell the truth, you still didn't fully understand how to behave with them. On the one hand, you are their manager and have a certain influence, as well as subordination. Steven and James don't have it, although they are "higher" in position, but they've been friends for half of a life, and you are a completely new person. On the other hand, in this area there is no place for strict formalities, especially since the guys don't look like those who would comply with them. After all they were big kids no matter how mature and pretentious they could look on stage, and you clearly felt it. Maybe your company will help them to relax even more, so there won't be any awkwardness and you will naturally find an edge where all of you will feel comfortable and which no one will cross.

With those thoughts, Carbonara and Rosé you spent your Saturday night watching your favorite series "La Piovra". You got used to such calm and quiet evenings. The era of parties until the morning has passed in the university years, and it’s not that you don’t go to clubs now, it’s just that the older you become the better you began to appreciate moments of silence. Not to be bored alone with yourself is the most valuable skill that you have acquired in your life. Having lived first with your parents for a long time, then getting married early at the age of 20 and having lived with your husband for 3 years, you were essentially not left alone with yourself. Having discovered over time that you feel absolutely nothing for the person whom you said "yes" to in the registry office, you were horrified and frightened to say at least. You thought that you get married once for a lifetime, but it turned out that happy endings exist only in fairy tales. That period of despondency, depression and eventual deepening into work gave its results. Major labels began to notice you, inviting you to musical projects with famous bands such as Maneskin. You worked with them for 1.5 years, leaving after their heyday at the Eurovision, realizing that you can’t give them more. That was your second decision to leave, but unlike the divorce, it didn't bring you much suffering. You understood that you and the group gave each other a lot, and although the parting was bitter, everyone understood that it was necessary. You still remained friends with the guys and periodically wrote off to meet. You planned to go to their concert, but couldn't find the time. And after your assignment to the Monkeys it became even more harder to shedule.

After the divorce you didn't have a serious relationship, instead you had a dream job, money, a car, a country house and even a corgi Grapes. You weren't afraid of the future, loved the time in seclusion and found inner peace by meditating on the production of cider, which was your unusual but very tasty hobby. Were you fully happy, though? Wouldn't you like to cross the threshold of the house and be met not by a dog's barking, but by a warm kiss on the forehead and a quiet "how was your day"? You probably wanted to, but it was hard to admit, especially considering that the fear of intimacy sat somewhere deep inside, not letting you forget the disappointment that you experienced when you removed the engagement ring from your finger. Although you remained friends who didn't hold evil against each other, the bitterness of your marriage was almost impossible to remove from the memories.

But for now, your head has been occupied by the sudden question of where to put Grapes for the duration of the tour...

Monday morning was sunny and peaceful, you woke up in a surprisingly good mood, put on your make-up, put on your favorite lime flared jeans, loaded a case of apple drink from the basemеnt into the car, patted Grapes and drove off to the studio. The road took about an hour, so during this time you managed to phone your father. You haven't talked much lately due to your workload, and now was almost the only time of the day when you were relatively free. You put the speaker phone mode, listening to the slightly hoarse voice of the man, without being distracted from the road.

"Hello my dear! How are you?"

"Hi daddy, I'm fine, going to work right now"

"My busy bee, James has already told me about your progress" you could hear him chuckle, coughing a little. You could only guess what Ford said to your father, because you spoke to him only once in these 2 weeks, when you recalled him after meeting with the group. And not that your story was very colorful. Therefore, the guys or Steven contacted him, and from this point of view, you couldn't imagine what they possibly come up with towards you.

"He assured me the boys liked you"

"Oh, really?" you said on the exhale, squeezing your hands on the steering wheel tightly.

"Yes, James is pleased with you. Well done, babe!" you melted under his words. It felt like you were a little girl again who drew a family picture that was hung on the refrigerator, even though mom and dad looked like monsters.

"Thank you daddy, I'm very happy to be with them actually"

"Of course, in such a company of men. Should I be jealous? 'Cause I looked through their photos on the Internet" dad said proudly, to which you burst out laughing, stopping at a traffic light.

"Dad, c'mon, no! They're too old for me" you laughed.

"10 years are not a big deal. Anyway, your choice. Just don't forget to eat please, I know how tough you work now. Otherwise you'll get drunk on your cider. God, how did you even manage to get into this alcohol sphere..." the man groaned in prostration. You rolled your eyes, but still smiled without answering. You got used to your father's fast flow of different thoughts.

"And don't roll your eyes, little naughty one! I care about you. So if they hurt you, you know who to call, right?"

"Oi, who will offend whom first" you retorted defiantly.

"Okay okay, I won't interrupt anymore. Kiss Grapes for me. I love you"

"And I love you very much, hello mom"

"I'll pass it on, bye!"

You turned off the call, fully focusing on the road. After talking with your parents, you always felt warm in your soul, so up to the studio you didn't leave a smile when you sang songs from the radio under your breath.

You arrived exactly at 2 o'clock, as agreed with Matt, but when you saw a few more cars in the parking lot in addition to the familiar Cadillac, you realized that the guys had been here for a long time. You must have looked a little ridiculous in a business suit and heels and a wooden box under your arm, but you didn't have other choice. Holding the car key in your mouth and trying to press the button at the same time, you clumsily closed the trunk with your leg. A purse was still dangling somewhere on your shoulder, and sunglasses had slipped from head to the bridge of your nose. "Must be an amazing picture to observe" you thought tiredly "Oh, if only Matt were here".

But before you had time to think about it, you heard a soft laugh behind you. You turned around sharply, noticing the frontman smoking alone near the entrance. You spat the key into the box, finally pressing the right button, and shouted

"And how long do you look?"

"I came exactly at the most interesting moment" man smiled, taking a puff.

You heavily crossed the entire parking lot, approaching him. Turner, having finished smoking a cigarette and throwing it into a nearby trash can, silently took the box from your hands.

"Hi, Y/N" he greeted you wheezing nicotine in the lungs.

"Hi," you frowened a little, but slowly added "Alex".

Calling him by his first name was... Unusual. A week ago the appeal to him was exclusively Mr. Turner, but today he was the first to break this line. "Well, apparently, we will both have problems with the boundaries of what is acceptable" bitterly flashed through your thoughts.

You both entered the building - Alex with a box in front, you behind holding the door. The way was silent. You wanted to say something to break this crystal quietness of his, but by the time you mustered up the courage, you stopped at the door 13A. The vocalist pushed it with his left shoulder, squeezing the alcohol forward, and you trotted along.

As soon as you and Alex entered the sound studio, you were immediately greeted with whistling and loud hooting.

"Look who's here, Miss Y/N"

"Hi, guys! I'm here with gifts as promised" you smiled broadly.

Alex at this time put the box on the table and immediately took one bottle for himself.

You noticed that there were Tyler and Tom in the studio as well, so you mentally praised yourself for taking bottles with a margin. You didn't know them personally yet, but was willing to change it. Turner introduced you to the men, and surprisingly you didn't hear his usual sneer in the voice.

"So, welcome Y/N Y/S, she's our manager for the summer before America starts and James gets back"

"Happy to finally meet you!" you were the first to extend your hand to Tyler, which he shook gently, smiling affably, and then to Tom. But he intercepted your hand, kissing your knuckles and making you laugh.

"Mutually, Miss" Rowley said enchanted.

"And she makes her own awesome cider, get one" Matt ordered businesslike, raising his voice from behind the drum kit.

"Yeah, there is enough for everyone, don't hesitate to take"

Evidently you arrived during the break, and before that they had already rehearsed a bit. You were wondering what kind of advice they need from you. The thought that they just needed cider you pushed back with a grin. But Alex, as if reading your thoughts, leisurely started speaking leaning on the table and holding a drink.

"Well, thanks for the cider, but that's not what we called you for. Since you're such a big fan of My Propeller, we discussed it here and decided that it's possible to put one on the set list for a couple of times. So listen to how it sounds, maybe have some ideas or whatevah" he was trying to sound casual, not attaching importance to his words for you.

"I'll do my best!" you almost jumped from such news.

Jamie chuckled audibly, running his fingers over the guitar. You sat down on the couch as Matt tapped the rhythm with his sticks and the melody began.

Seductive. The first association that came to your mind when you heard the intro of this song. It was your favorite from Humbug for sure and one of the band's all time favorites. Alex never told in any interview what was the secret of the lyrics, and probably that was the reason it attracted you even more. The guys played it selflessly, as if there hadn't been those decades that they hadn't performed it. You liked how they gave themselves to the process, even if it was just a rehearsal. They were in simple t-shirts and Matt was proudly wearing pineapple shorts, but you could swear, a real concert was unfolding right in front of you.

When Alex started singing you tried to hide the goosebumps as best as you could, but it hardly worked out well. His voice flowed melodically, not betraying a hint of wheezing or breaking, which could arise due to the age. He closed his eyes, tightly gripping the microphone stand, and moved his feet to the beat, slightly ridiculous, but at the same time gracefully. Throughout the song, you didn’t take your eyes off the group for a minute, sometimes singing along to the words, pulling the last syllable of

 Coax me out my law

And have a spin of my propeller

When the song ended, you clapped and Nick even made a mock bow.

“I don’t know how objective my assessment will be, because apart from the words of delight I have nothing to add” you honestly admitted. It seemed to you that you heard Alex's quiet "As I said", but Matt was quick to interrupt him asking you "Actually, we have already decided to play it in Bristol, but the question is where to chip in. We'll definitely not start with this one, and the outro is already completed, so..."

You thought a little, trying to understand what motives My Propeller reminds you of, and then the penny dropped.

"Pretty Visitors!" you exclaimed louder than you should have because your words echoed through the silent studio.

"Smooth interlude from Pretty Visitors, yeah, not bad actually" Alex quickly developed your idea, turning to Matt, as if asking "Do you mind?", but the drummer only closed his eyes approvingly. It seemed that they didn't need any words at all, they could understand each other with guitar riffs and drum brakes. Their connection, it was amazing, honed to automatism for past 20 years. They were like scientists in a chemistry lab mixing potions together in an attempt to make a new elixir. It was magic to come true and watching this process was so intimate that you involuntarily felt the heat on your cheeks, as if you were engaged in voyeurism.

***

The hours in the studio flew by. Fortunately for you, the guys decided to surprise fans with the return of Mardy Bum which will be the opener. The exact setlist for Bristol was confirmed at the end of the rehearsal, bringing back Teddy Picker and The View From The Afternoon as well. So looking at the perfect 21 songs, you could only imagine what they would save for London. Originally you were going to visit their concert in your hometown, you bought tickets as soon as sales were announced, but after James's call you easily gave the ticket to a friend, saying that you had won a jackpot.

Tom and Tyler have already left and the five of you are left. You were sitting on a soft chair, moved from the corner of the room, and the guys opposite on the sofas. The boys had laid down their guitars and you were leding a peaceful conversation about life, since the studio rental time ended only in an hour. You told them about your career in the industry, Maneskin and the part time projects you've been working on lately, omitting the details of your divorce because you thought it was too early for them to immerse themselves in such personal aspects of your life.

"By the way, Vic is your big fan and Alex in particular" you giggled, remembering the way drunk Maneskin bassist told you that she would like to sleep with Turner. Those were the carefree times of your youth you warmly remembered.

"Really?" Matt raised his eyebrows as he sipped his seemingly endless bottle of cider "You still have their contacts, right?"

"Yeah, sure, we even text each other occasionally" you quipped.

"And you didn't say you were working with us?" Heldres was surprised.

"Actually, somehow it didn't seem possible" you lowered your gaze, "I mean what would it look like? "Hey guys, look who's here, I now manage the Monkeys btw?" - so what?"

You could tell by the Cheshire smile on Matt's bristly face that this was exactly how he thought.

"Oh no, Matthew, don't you-"

"Oh yes, darling, dial FaceTime, you'll show them our doll" the man neighed, turning to Alex, who had been sitting quietly on the couch until this moment, and fidgeted in place after the suggestion.

"For God's sake, Matt, what a kindergarten behavior" the vocalist howled irritably, rolling his eyes, "I don't even remember their names".

The idea of making fun of Turner a little for the morning case with the box and taking revenge seemed to you unexpectedly delightful. Your hand automatically sank into your pants pocket, deftly pulling it out into the light and finding the right WhatsApp chat.

"Don't worry, you just have to say hi to Vic, I'm sure you'll be fine" you sang sweetly, glancing slyly at Matt, who chuckled approvingly, glad that you supported his idea.

Alex only cursed at this and ran a hand through his hair, smoothing it. Either from nerves, or putting his hair in order before the call.

You moved from your seat to the couch between Alex and Matt, gesturing for Nick and Jamie to join. You put your hand in front of you so only your face was visible in the camera frame, waiting for one of the guys to take the call. It might have been a little ill-advised to call like this without warning on a workday evening, but anyway it was already too late, as the beeps trailed in a string of sounds. You hoped that they didn't have a concert today, in any other case, one of them would definitely pick up the phone from you. And by a happy coincidence, it was Vic who ended up on your screen.

"What the hell, Miss Boogie, are you really occasionally calling after all this time of silence?" despite Victoria de Angelis's accusatory words, she sounded playful. She was a little disheveled and with a bright blush on her face. People were walking randomly with the string interruptions in the background. Apparently, the guys were at the soundcheck at one of the venues, and Vic recently finished playing.

Four pairs of eyes openly stared at you with undisguised interest after hearing the nickname, demanding an answer, but you just mouthed "later".

"Awww, sweetheart, and I'm happy to hear you again too!" you said with an ironic smile.

 "I have a lot of news for you, and I will definitely call you in private soon"

"Are you not alone? Who's with you?" the girl even moved closer to the camera in an attempt to see something.

"Well, I have a little surprise for you. Actually four surprises, but one of them you'll find really special" you said conspiratorially, looking around at the guys who were still out of the picture. Alex sat to your right, trying to portray the most distant look, as if everything that was happening was nothing more than baby talk for him.

"Darling, if you have a group orgy without me, then I will be offended and drop the call" the bassist said threateningly, wiping her forehead with a towel that was hung on her shoulder.

You just burst out laughing "Ok ok, I'm not languishing you anymore. I hope you're ready. Boys, say hi to Vics" and you finally moved the camera further so that Matt, Nick and Jamie, who were sitting to your left, got into the camera frame, Alex's appearance you saved for a dessert.

The musician's reaction exceeded all your expectations. At first she narrowed her eyes, bringing the phone even closer to face, and then she widened them with a loud squeal, jumping up from her seat.

"What the hell, Y/N! What the actual fuck, you're a shitty mutherfucker!!!" she covered her mouth with her hand, chaotically moving the phone in different directions. Apparently, other members of the group came running to her scream, as you heard the voice of Damiano asking what happened.

"What happened?" she repeated "The fucking Arctic Monkeys are sitting next to Y/N!" answering a question off-camera and stabilizing the phone. Now you could clearly see the vocalist leaning over her shoulder, Thomas to the side and Ethan slightly behind.

Finally, the men next to you decided to introduce themselves "Hey, guys, what's new?" Matt said smiling to the camera, Jamie and Nick just waved their hands in a friendly manner.

"Oh my God, what's going on" Vic, still dumbfounded, spoke with a face of complete amazement. Damiano, who quickly figured out the whole situation and realized that Vic was unlikely to be able to communicate normally now, carefully took the phone from her hands.

"Hi, Y/N, long time no see! Hi, boys, how fresh you are" the frontman winked. The words "for your age" were suggested mutely, but David left them behind the scenes. The men next to you just laughed quietly at this remark and saluted the Italian boy.

"Vic, that's not all yet, look who's next to me" wanting to finally finish off your friend, you moved the camera to the side, revealing Alex's presence, who was already sitting with a polite smile on his face, leaning on the sofa armrest.

"Hi, love" Turner murmured hoarsely, turning on his usual charisma. You were surprised how quickly he went from "fuck off everyone" to his stage persona. Indeed, a skill acquired over the years.

De Angelis, after looking at the camera for just a second, squealed even harder than the first time, which you even grimaced a little, because in a quiet studio it sounded deafening.

The camera was still held by Damiano, but the girl in the frame could be seen doubled over, holding back cries of happiness. Her guys just laughed out loud at this, knowing full well what a strong fan of Alex she was.

"Y/N, I'm going to fucking kill you, I'll strap your ass so you can't sit still for another week, what are you doing to me?" Vic didn't let go of expressions, which made the men next to you shamelessly laugh, even Turner smiled predatoryly.

"Holy shit, you're real" the girl muttered in one breath.

Her adoration entertained Alex. Celebrities fangirling celebrities wasn't an unknown story for Alex, so the way Vic behaved didn't annoy him, but brought a feeling of sincere pleasure from what was happening.

"It would be strange if I wasn't, mhm?" the man grunted, changing the position - now he rested elbows on his knees, bringing the face closer to your phone. You could smell his light apple scent from the cider you both drank and the cigarette halo that soaked into all of the frontman's clothes.

Damiano finally decided to take control over the situation by turning the camera completely on himself.

"So, Y/N, if you wanted to surprise Vic, then you succeeded 100%! But we are now at soundcheck, and we don't have much time, and she" nodding towards the bassist "still needs to be brought to her senses. We were extremely happy to hear from you, babe. Call us when you are free and tell us everything in detail. Miss you very much!"

"Guys, me too! Love ya, see you at Glasto!"

"Wait! Take a screenshot!" Vic's desperate exclamation came from Damiano's left side.

He made a focused face, looking for the right buttons, while you and the men simultaneously smiled at the camera.

"Send it to the chat" you asked, ending the call and blowing a virtual kiss. You obviously cut off Vic's "I love you" without being entirely sure it was addressed to you.

The studio immediately froze in deafening silence. You put your phone down on the coffee table, still smiling.

"That was a real buzz, they're cute" Matt said leaning back on the couch. The mood of the guys clearly improved by this little conversation. You were glad that you could somehow diversify their evening after a productive and exhausting day. Even Alex stopped keeping his always compressed lips and frowning eyebrows.

"So, Miss Boogie, right?" Jamie began slyly, reminding you of your infamous nickname.

An approving "ooooo" reverberated around the room, from which you hid behind your palms.

"Damn, I was hoping you'd forget" you muttered from your hiding place.

"C'mon, we're intrigued already" Nick reached out to you through Matt, gently taking your hands away from your face.

Jamie suddenly started chanting your name, encouraging you to reveal this terrible secret, and Matt whistled as if Sheffield FC had just scored a goal.

"God, okay, just shut up please" you gave up.

The four men took more comfortable positions in anticipation of your story.

"In fact, there is nothing special in this story, it's just stupid. When Maneskin was approved for Eurovision, we went to celebrate, how can we not. It was in Milan. We got very drunk in a bar and went for a walk around the city. It was about 3 in the morning, and to entertain ourselves we played Truth or Dare. The most banal thing that could be, but nothing better came to mind. And I chose Dare, 'cause everyone else only cowardly told their secrets. So Vic asked me to dance for a minute on the street to any song that a passerby would name. Well, since at such time you are unlikely to meet any adequate passerby, we only found a beggar in the square. I don’t know how old he was, but the first song that he remembered was Boogie Wonderland" at this point you made a dramatic pause, "so yes, I had to dance to this song at night in front of other poor people who came up to us. Since then they call me Miss Boogie. Everyone is satisfied now, having fun, huh?"

You intentionally crossed your arms in insult, surreptitiously watching the laughing band.

"I bet there's a video" Matt said cheekily.

"Yes, there is, but you'll never see it!" you retorted quickly, glaring at the drummer.

"Your hot cheeks make me want to see this video even more" Nick teased tapping Matt on the shoulder.

"You know what," Alex suddenly announced, "choose any song you want. We play it, and you show the video"

You could swear your jaw was somewhere on the floor.

"Woah, did you decide to go all-in?" Matt asked, also not expecting such a generous offer "Be careful, otherwise you will have to play a Taylor Swift song"

"Ouch, why do you think I like her?"

"Who doesn't like her?"

"Your truth" you nodded approvingly.

"I meant our song. We'll perform it at the concert" Turner interrupted your dialogue, looking at you testily from under his eyelashes.

There was a slight silence, which you broke with a heavy sigh.

"Wow, okay, this is getting interesting" you muttered, leaning back on the couch like Helders had done earlier. The three men to your left looked at each other in surprise, waiting for an answer, while you've been thinking, looking at the frontman.

"Certain Romance," you easily stated, "I want this one"

"Your wish is my command, Miss Boogie," he joked without any hint of smile, standing up "you guys remember how to play it, don't you?"

The guys looked at each other dumbfounded, unable to find words for such a drastic change in the behavior of the vocalist, but after a discordant series of affirmative nods, they received a condescending smile from him.

"Well, that's great, there's still time to rehearse. I propose Sheffield!" Alex said solemnly, thrusting his hands into the pockets.

"Al, ru ok?" Matt raised an eyebrow in disbelief.

"All right, man" Turner said artificially.

"This house is a circus indeed" swirled through your head. Alex's behavior was defiant. Emerging into conflict. Literally a minute ago everything was peace and quiet, and now he, like a proud peacock, was arranging a show for you at the level of a cheap soap opera.

"No, but seriously, let's even organize a lottery, since Y/N has such an influence on the setlist" Alex didn't let up.

"Come on, pipe down, you suggested it yourself" Nick intervened carefully, not wanting to stir up the smoldering coals of the conflict.

"And I think all of you are into this idea, aren't you?" Turner didn't raise his low, heavily accented baritone, but the underlying toxicity in his tone was evident, "oh, even better, let's ask our Italian friends for advice! Let's get their opinion and her video as well".

"Alexander, smoke?" you stood up decisively from the couch, grabbing your purse and phlegmatically glancing at the wooden cider box you'd probably have to leave in the studio. But you couldn’t leave the guys in such an atmosphere, so out of courtesy you promised to return again.

"Y/N, no problem, see you before Bristol! Send the screen to our group, 'cause I'm getting jealous for these Italians" Matt gave you an encouraging wink in the end, and you certainly promised to do it tonight.

"They'll kill each other"

"He doesn't stand a chance"

Jamie and Matt said at the same time as the door closed behind you.

Alex imposingly walked ahead, not hurrying anywhere. He politely said goodbye to the security guard, noting that the rental period had already come to an end. Almost bowing, he opened the door to the street for you, artificially gallantly holding it with his hand, still making a show from every gesture, which for some reason made you feel disgusted. You were counting on working with middle-aged men, accomplished musicians, but it feels like you are talking to teenagers.

Damp cold air from the river hit your red cheeks, which made you wrap yourself in a jacket more tightly. Alex took out a pack of Marlboro, offering you one, but nodding to himself, removed it, remembering your words a week ago practically at the same place.

"Well?" he said with a cigarette in his mouth, lighting the filter.

The sky was overcast with a milky haze of fog, which wasn't uncommon for these places, a weak wind was blowing, but not a single sound from the road was heard, which made you hear sparks from ignited tobacco hiss like champagne bubbles, falling on the asphalt.

Alex exhaled noisily, squinting at you with his eyes. His face was faintly lit by the flame of a cigarette, but even in such low light, it was noticeable that his gaze was completely blank. "Amazingly indifferent and deep eyes at the same time. It's impossible to tell anything from them" you thought. Or maybe he was like this only with unpleasant people to him, who you apparently were. You can’t even imagine the way these eyes changed on stage "Where are you real, Alexander?". But instead of asking this, you just threw your head back, tiredly closing your eyelids, showing with your whole appearance how absurd the situation is.

"Alex," there wasn't any visible point to call him Mr. Turner even though you were annoyed "I thought we made a deal, didn't we?"

"Really? When?" his voice sounded even more affected than in the studio, despite the fact that now the man spoke rather quietly and slowly. Or maybe even a whisper would be loud in this ringing silence.

"I just don't understand what the problem is" you continued, as if you didn't hear his words.

"I don't see it either, Miss Y/S"

You raised your eyebrows high as you asked a silent question, which made Alex smirk slightly. Taking a puff, he began to explain to you with the intonation of a parent teaching a child not to put his fingers in the socket.

"Listen, I won't hide it, you brought some chaos to our tour. This is different from your direct duties though - to solve all the problems on our way. But you're a stranger who stirred up our peace and foundation. I was initially against this idea, but James left me no choice. You are undoubtedly an educated young lady, and probably from a moral point of view, I sound like a scoundrel now-"

"You sound unprofessional, Alex. You only make me feel contempt, and I don't care about any moral side"

The frontman looked at you from under his brows, taking out a second cigarette in a row from the pack, waiting for a further reaction, but inside you was a frozen magma that didn't want to break out, muffled by self-esteem. For now.

His words contradicted his behavior. In the morning he carries your boxes and asks for a song advice, and in the evening he gives out this shit. If women's logic is ridiculed by society, then men do not have it at all.

“You know what, when James offered me this job, I was damn excited and proud that I would be working with a team like yours. I was on a cloud nine. But you, Alex, you're just a spoiled boy in the body of a 37-year-old man who hasn't overplayed his ambitions and thinks that his subtle nature is so fragile to understand that you need to hide behind the facade of an asshole so that normal people with good intentions don't crawl into your soul. You are cowardly and arrogant!"

You were breathing heavily, and the words "fool fool fool" stretched on repeat in a red line behind your eyes.

You didn't even understand how they escaped from your lips, absolutely thoughtlessly. You even instinctively wanted to raise a hand to cover your mouth, but pulled yourself back in time, deciding to play to the end. Show after show.

Alex hadn't raised a cigarette to his face during your tirade, so that the wick was almost dead in his fingers. You intensively looked at each other without stopping, and at some point it seemed to you that fear flashed in his pupils. Fear of the revealed truth. However, they were covered with a thick veil of indifference to what was happening in a second, and he finally took the last puff, throwing the butt right on the road.

"Miss Y/S, it seems that you have to go" the musician said unemotionally.

You took one last burning look at his features and, without saying a word, turned around towards your car. How ironic, a week ago you left each other in roughly the same sequence of activities - studio, cider, parking lot, but under completely different circumstances.

Slamming the door shut, you sharply revved, not bothering to warm up the engine, and drove out of the parking lot with a clang of tires. Burning tears of resentment gushed from your eyes, covering the already foggy road in front, but you didn't pay attention.

Your cooperation has just begun, and you have already swept on an emotional swing. Only in the morning you were driving in a car towards the sun and rejoicing at the warm words of your dad, and in the evening you return home, wiping the salty paths with the back of your hand from your face.

You were never embarrassed by tears, you cried out almost all of them during a divorce, but if they dripped from your eyes today, then there was a reason for that. Your parents taught you that after rain there is always a rainbow, after tears there is always peace of mind, you need to be able to live through any emotions in order to turn them into your power later.

***

You haven't seen the boys since that evening until today's early departure for Bristol. Of course, you communicated on all sorts of organizational issues during this time and there was no visible tension, especially since they didn't hear about your quarrel with Alex. You were more than sure that he would not tell his friends about that incident. This is what infringes on him, and therefore makes him weaker, which he couldn't allow.

All these days you have wondered what was the reason for such a sharp behavior, however you couldn't really delve into yourself. Why exactly you were crying - from resentment, overstrain or just an emotional outburst, it was also difficult to understand. Perhaps all together. Over the past month, from your first conversation with Ford to recent events, your life has changed 180 degrees, so it's no surprise that your psyche gave a little glitch.

You've comforted yourself with routines though — setting Grapes up with a friend until your next visit to London, inviting your parents over for dinner to tell you all the details, packing your suitcase for the tour, checking out all the technical stuff, and almost forgetting what kind of adventure you're packing for.

And now, without any idea of the nearest future, you were sitting in a black Mercedes Sprinter between Marcus and James Kerr, Ben was in the passenger seat in front, Steven was riding with the group in the bus. It was only 8 am, you were sleepy, only at the last moment you didn’t forget to remove eye patches before going out, you didn’t even put on makeup, so you sat in the wide sunglasses, even though the sun wasn't visible through the tinted windows of the car.

It seemed that everyone was relaxed, easily communicated with each other and knew exactly what each would do upon arrival at the venue. Unlike you. The schedule was pretty clear - check-in at the hotel, lunch, departure for the soundcheck and then free time for the management and the band, but very busy time for the technicians. Of all this, the most sensible thing was to drink plenty of wine at dinner and walk around the rest of the day in a relaxed state of mind, but those were only pitiful thoughts of creeping fear. Deep inside you were sure that everything would be fine, it couldn’t be otherwise, because even if you didn’t know how to do this or that task, the guys knew their duties, and they physically couldn’t play the concert badly.

"Hey, Y/N, you kinda took working with us too seriously" Marcus snapped you out of your thoughts with his mocking tone.

"I'm sorry, what?" you asked, turning to him.

He touched the bridge of his nose with his index finger and chuckled. It took you another couple of seconds to figure out what he meant, so he took advantage of your confusion to explain "you now going to wear glasses in the dark as well?"

The reference to Alex was read transparently, so you imperceptibly flinched and pointedly removed them, as if not wanting to be associated with him at all.

"No, no, I just didn't have time to do my make up" you honestly admitted, shrugging your shoulders ingenuously.

"Oh, I'm sorry, we-" the guy looked around at all the passengers, "we don't understand this here"

You laughed slightly, at the same time relaxing, and asked him a question that had been of interest to you for a long time.

"Why don't you have women in the team? I mean at all"

Instead of Marcus, Ben decided to answer from the front seat, apparently as the eldest among you.

“It didn’t happen on purpose, but later it became kind of unspoken rule. We are here like on the fishing, you know? We leave our wives, spend time within our male company, it’s like an alternative branch of your life, you do quality work here, you feel needed, while no one owe you nothing and you feel absolutely free in your actions, understanding thoroughly those who are around you"

"Are you aware that this is how a normal team should work, regardless of gender? It sounds somehow sexist. Am I really embarrassing you in actions?" you smiled slyly, anticipating the denouement.

"Actually, besides you, we have 3 other women in the team.." Marcus embarrassingly chipped in.

"Guys, don't bother yourself with excuses, I knew who I was messing with" you laughed, crossing your legs. Marcus looked at you dumbfounded, but said nothing, and James just chuckled softly at the window.

"Well, if you knew that, then you also should know about our tradition, right, guys?" Ben began in a conspiratorial tone, exchanging glances with the guys.

"Um, about what?" you arched an eyebrow in disbelief.

"The newbie is signed up for the after-party. Tonight is your first concert, and after that we go to the bar, the drinks are off you! We're equal here" Ben imperturbably continued to scan your reaction with a fox-eye, waiting for an answer. It's not that you're greedy or unable to pay, but to buy drinks for the whole team...

And as if ahead of your question, the man added "enough management and the band".

As if it changed the essence. But you couldn't refuse, so you mumbled something affirmative, getting a roar of male hoarse laughter in response, and starting to laugh at yourself. You appreciated in people, especially males, this ability - to make a woman laugh. In a time of constant change and stress, finding someone who will make you forget about it was very important.

The rest of the road was spent in the same good mood, and these conversations did help you to forget about your anxiety due to upcoming events. Upon arrival, all the management team and the band settled in the hotel. As James promise, you've been given a private suite overlooking the most beautiful park in the city center. But due to an unknown coincidence, you lived not on the same floor with the attendants, but through the door from the group.

Matt carried your things to your room and you agreed to meet for lunch in 20 minutes.

Since you were able to miraculously did a make up even in the car, thanks to the sensitive driving, now you decided to change into more presentable clothes in which you will be at the concert.

Without changing the habit of choosing clothes carefully and for a long time, you took off your hot sweatshirt, remaining in only sweatpants and starting to go through the whole suitcase in search of those things that would match your mood. You had a couple of looks planned, but today's unexpectedly warm weather changed your plans a little, so you confidently took out a black leather skirt and a white blouse.

A piece of matter fit all your forms perfectly, so you were satisfied with the choice, spinning in front of the mirror by the bed. The black bodice harmonized perfectly with the skirt, and the crazy idea of ​​staying only in it, without putting on anything, flashed through your head like a bullet, but flew out just as quickly as soon as you heard the muffled thud of heels on the carpet outside the door and a muttered "Jamie?" at your door followed by a knock. You hysterically shouted "No!" exactly at the moment when the door opened without a click.

"Shit, Y/N!" Alex, not having time to properly enter your room, but having clearly noticed you in a compromising way, abruptly recoiled, remaining in the corridor, but not completely closing the door so that he could hear you, but not see.

"God! What a mess" you pleaded, rushing to the door. You stuck out only your head, meeting the eyes of the musician, who was discomposedly staring at you point-blank.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"Why are you naked?"

You asked at the same time, shouting over each other.

"This is my room! And I'm not naked!"

"Where's Jamie? I thought he was at 312" Turner asked, a little bewildered, clearly embarrassed.

"I have no idea where Jamie is. How did you even get in?" you were still half-dressed, hiding most of your body behind a wooden door.

"I knocked, but it turned out that it was not slammed at all"

"What the fuck? Maybe Matt didn't close when he left," you muttered more to yourself. You clearly saw the question “What did Matt do here?” that arose in Alex’s head, but which he never voiced. Clearly realizing that the dialogue could not be continued in this form, you abruptly switched the subject, trying to tear his eyes from your neck.

 "I was changing for dinner anyway, so see you there" you sharply slammed the door in front of him, not wanting to go into details, and tiredly leaned your head against the wooden surface from the inside.

"Crazy" you heard quiet along with receding soft steps.

It was your only meaningful conversation with the singer, since that evening. You understood that it couldn’t go on like this for a long time, but at the moment you didn’t have any ideas how to fix the situation. So you just finally put on the look you chose, after checking that the door was locked, then decided to add a black headband, and being satisfied with your appearance, went downstairs.

After lunch, the whole team went to the stadium, where the technicians had already set up half of the equipment. The guys immediately went to the sound check, and you and Steven went to meet Ashton Gate management. It seemed like there was still plenty of time before the concert, and you thought you would have a few more chances to double-check everything, but in the turmoil that was going on behind the scenes, this turned out to be impossible.

To be honest, you were overwhelmed by what was happening. The soft music, people around, the sun rays moving towards the sunset - this whole scene that was unfolding before you as you unexpectedly stepped onto the empty stage a few minutes before the crowd was let into the stadium looked surreal and incredibly familiar, as if you had been here many times before. The noise and chaos behind you contrasted with the tranquility in front of your eyes. The empty space that was about to be filled with a crowd in just a few minutes brought both excitement and serenity. These were the moments that seemed unreal, but made life worth living.

***

The show was about to start, and you stood next to the dark staircase, where the guys from the dressing room were soon to come up. Leaning on the railing, you nervously twirled a lock of hair around your finger. You went through all the items on the checklist in your head, checking off each one mentally, but something still bothered you.

Alex.

Your unfinished conversations and evasive behavior were weighing on you. You felt guilty, knowing that as his manager, you had behaved tactlessly, driven by emotions. It ate at you from the inside. You decided that you would talk to him today, apologize and put this issue to rest once and for all.

Suddenly you noticed a flickering light from the security, which meant that the group is entering the stage, and you turned sharply, both wanting and fearing to see them. As always, looking luxurious, these four men made their way up to the platform, remaining unnoticed by the audience.

"Good luck, guys! I'm buzzing as hell honestly" you tried to sound confident, but your voice trembled on the last word.

"Miss Y/S, is it just me or are you worried about us?" Nick lightly touched your shoulder in a reassuring gesture.

"Well, it's my first time with you" realizing how ambiguous that sounded, you interrupted yourself with a laugh.

"Oh, you'll love it, babe" Matt mimicked a voice from a cheap adult movie, tossing a stick in the air. It seemed like he could find the right words in any situation, and in the future, you would highly appreciate this skill.

All this time, you were glancing at Alex out of the corner of your eye, trying to read his emotions, but he calmly adjusted the folds on his unchanging dark blue jacket and stretched his neck with turns left and right. Seeing that the guys had moved a little away from you, you looked at your watch, estimating that you had 5 minutes maximum, and whispered to yourself "now or never".

"Alex!" you called him out loudly, trying to outshout the crowd "I wanted to talk, I know it's not the most appropriate time, but-"

"Y/N, forgive me, okay," the man unexpectedly began, barely approaching you. For the first time, you saw genuine excitement in his eyes, here, in the darkness of the backstage area of a 30,000-seat stadium. For some reason, only now you clearly feel the difference in height between you two. He looked down at you patronizingly. Maybe it was because of his heels or the knot of nerves in your stomach that made you feel so small in your attempt to hide from his penetrating gaze.

"I've been a complete jerk and acted childish from the very beginning. You didn't do anything to deserve such treatment. I don't want our tension to affect the group and our work in any way, so I admit my guilt"

You stood in shock, slightly opening your mouth. You absolutely did not expect such a turn of events, so your entire improvised speech evaporated from your mind instantly. He suddenly smiled softly, raising an eyebrow, as if asking 'well, what now?' Still not believing what you heard, you nodded your head almost automatically.

"Y-yes, you were a jerk indeed. But I also didn't behave entirely correctly, my first impression wasn't great either," you sighed in frustration, recalling your memories, "I suggest we start over, huh? Hi, my name is Y/N, I'm your new tour manager, nice to meet you" and to confirm your words, you gracefully extended your hand to him.

"Nice to meet you too, I'm Alex Turner, sort of singing here," he shook your hand with an energetic movement. His palm was dry and steady, causing a pleasant warmth throughout your body, "just business then?"

"Just business indeed. And a little bit of music" you said, more relaxed, smiling with all 32 teeth, still holding onto his hand.

"Deal, Miss Y/S"

For a moment, the roar of fans faded away for you, and you only saw the outlines of his pupils in the semi-darkness and his fingers firmly holding yours. However, your fragile moment was promptly ruined by-

"Al, c'mon!" Jamie impatiently called, and your hand felt the gusts of wind instead of calloused skin of the frontman. You watched him walk away in his waddle manner, as he suddenly turned and shouted, winking "By the way, nice lace".

 It took you a couple of seconds to understand what was said, and when the meaning of his words reached you, you exclaimed in indignation "You, motherfucker!" almost stomping your foot, but your cry was lost in the wild roar of the crowd, as the guys were already on stage.

It was a miraculous sight. Four men made people go into ecstasy just with their appearance - this is the phenomenon of the Beatles, and they were proof that rock and roll is alive. As long as they are alive. Every strum on the guitar strings, every touch of the lips to the microphone, every drumstick strike, every hair flip was special in their performance, they themselves were special.

You were fascinated, to say the least. When the performance came to the last song before the encore, Body Paint, one of your favorite songs from the album, that was definitely made to be played live, you were out of words. The whole song built you up to the climax, to the outro that every time was a pure jamming and improvisation. And you literally exploded in ecstasy when Alex started walking around the stage, unable to stand still from the knocking down energy. He closed his eyes in languor, biting his lips, screaming, throwing out his arms, and you couldn't take your eyes off. You weren't dancing or jumping, you were inseparably watching his every movement, arms folded across your chest. Your mouth was agape against your will, and your eyes eagerly punched a hole in the frontman. This is a unique performance, it's something that is hard to explain without feeling it for yourself. You were made up of his music, you literally felt these waves inside your veins, your brain wasn't able to comprehend what was happening, it was like a catharsis for all of you. And you definitely didn't want to be saved.

Suddenly Alex turned his head to your side, continuing to play some divine riff outlining the Van Gogh fields on the guitar strings. His hair was tousled, shirt unbuttoned, but his jacket fitted perfectly. He rested his eyes on your figure, smiling with one corner of his lips, and you looked at each other for good seven seconds which felt like eternity. You were sure that everything was clear in your eyes, and even if he stood next to you and heard you, you wouldn't be able to utter a word.

What you definitely didn't expect when your eye contact was broken and Alex walked to another side of the stage, that tears would involuntarily flow from your eyes. "What the hell..." you wondered aloud, quickly removing the salty tracks from your cheeks. In fact, you perfectly understood why you were crying. From a sense of greatness. The greatness of music, human synergy and the power of unity. It was too much for you, too strong emotions to bear. It was excellent, it was the taste of life, thanks to which you still were here. "God, if you exist, bless this band, they are saints" although it sounded ridiculous and naive, you seriously were ready to pray for the talent of these guys, for the ability to make other people feel alive. You were in your place, you did everything right, you were cruising the victory. Today he convinced you.

As soon as the last chords of "RU Mine?" were played and the bows to the fans were taken, the men disappeared from the deafening roar behind the dark curtains of backstage. Their hair stuck to their sweat faces, and a distinct masculine smell was coming from their shirts. The guys passed by you with exhausted smiles, unable to utter a word from fatigue, and disappeared into the darkness of the corridors.

You didn't know what to do right now. According to your understanding, your job didn't end with pre-concert organization, there were also post-concert tasks to be done. But you were so lost in emotions that you felt like you were drifting away from an anaphylactic shock.

Unexpectedly, Tyler came to you as he was the last one to come off the stage. He fraternally put a hand on your shoulder, tousling your hair with his heavy palm.

"Well, with the initiation into our hell, sweetheart. How're you?"

"Thrilled, and I want more!" you declared confidently, matching his quick pace that was pulling you further away from the frenzy of the crowd.

"Well, don't doubt that, it's just the beginning" he charmingly smiled, and you couldn't help but mirror his expression.

"Now we're going to celebrate, and you're coming with us" it sounded so authoritative that even if you wanted to object, you immediately closed your mouth, nodding in agreement. "Besides, seems like you need to unwind" you remembered.

You left the stadium only an hour later, apparently, it was a normal time for the guys to "recover". You'd made several jokes about one woman waiting for seven men and received offended and teasing looks in return. You got into the same Mercedes you arrived in that morning, and the driver took you to one of Bristol's typical English pubs that the guys loved so much.

You didn't understand their fondness for these quaint places where the sofa upholstery hadn't changed along with the owner. There were so many modern bars in the city, any of which the band could afford to rent entirely, but they paid tribute to traditions, obviously cherishing memories of their lively youth when they started playing their first concerts in similar places. Such a return to their roots after the thousands-capacity stadiums grounded them well. And the warm nostalgia, slipping across the Guinness glasses every time, was a corner of genuine joy for the guys, the only true luxury they possessed.

And overall, you didn't care where to spend money or on what. After all today's events, which felt like a whole month, you didn't mind anymore. In the morning, you looked at your apple orchard in the early mist of suburban London, then stood half-naked in a five-star hotel room in front of a world-renowned music star, and now, in the evening, you huddled next to him on an old leather couch under a red velvet chandelier, drinking a B-52.

Glasses, shots and colorful bottles flashed in front of your eyes like a kaleidoscope. Your head was spinning from the amount of alcohol, and your cheeks hurt from laughter.

"My dear mates, I propose a toast to Miss Y/S and her first concert with us! I don't know if she understands where she has ended up, but we'll make sure she has a great time with us, right, guys? To Y/N!" Matt solemnly proclaimed, rising from the table, and 8 hands, pouring drinks onto each other, reached towards the center of the table to clink glasses.

"Guys, thank you for this opportunity, thanks to James for his unplanned vacation, thanks to Steven and Marcus-" although the latter wasn't here, you decided to thank him as he had been providing you with all kinds of help during these weeks, "for their support and adaptation, and of course, to you Monkeys, for accepting me. I do like your crazy Monkey house" you joked, but it didn't negate the truth. Despite all the past disagreements with the lead singer, you felt that you were still doing everything right. And even if you hadn't gone on this adventure today, you would still feel grateful to fate for such an opportunity to be at the center of life.

"Glad to hear that," Jamie chuckled ironically, "as they say, welcome aboard"

And with these words, you all whistled, and Tom even shouted like a saloon girl from the Wild West. Your evening, or rather the night, continued until 3 am, fortunately there was no concert the next day, so you could at least sleep in a bit. You looked in horror at the amount you had drunk, trying to estimate how long it would take to recover the contents of your wallet. But you had consumed so much gin and tonic that the only thing that really worried you was how to walk straight for at least 2 meters to the bar to pay for it all.

"Drinks on me!" you declared with a mischievous smile to the group as you headed towards the bar counter.

"What, for everyone?" Matt playfully refined.

"Well, yeah," you didn't have the energy to realize his surprise, but he also didn't have the energy to argue with you, "that's no problem".

And thus, the following events spun in your head like a foggy whirlpool. Here you were finally breathing in the fresh air of the street, tilting your head towards the purple sky, then you were half-lying on someone's shoulder in the black minivan, and finally for no reason you were walking barefoot on a soft hotel carpet, but there were no shoes in your hands as well.

You didn't have any memories of walking into your room either. But in the moment, the feeling of soft snow-white hotel sheets flooded your body with long-awaited bliss. You instantly fell into the arms of Morpheus, only on the verge of consciousness noticing that someone took off the headband from your hair, which had been squeezing your head tightly, and silently closed the door.

You may be too drunk to remember each of your actions clearly, but you definitely wouldn't mistake the familiar scent of cigarettes in the room.

---------------------------------------------------

A/N: Oh, so much has happened in one chapter, and this is just the beginning of the tour... I decided to tell the background of Y/N for a better understanding of her actions. What do you think, maybe you want more of "Italian friends" in the work? Whose line do you want to read in more detail? Share your emotions, it is incredibly valuable to me that someone reads this work actually!

xo🤍

Taglist: @missbabyjay @rentskenobi @findmeincorneliastreet @indierockgirrl here it is!

*if you want to be removed or added to the taglist, feel free to ask me!

[swiftsdelucaa]

Could I please have an imagine where the reader and Meredith Grey have been best friends since childhood. The thing is that they both have had feelings for each other for years but never said anything. When they both start at Seattle Grace Meredith goes out with Derek and the reader starts something with another intern (doesn’t matter who). Both begin to realize that they are jealous and that they want to be together. (Possible conversations between Derek and the other person talking about how obvious it is) (like they give up their relationships for the other to be happy) fluffy and angsty please?

❛ 𝑼𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒍 𝒏𝒐𝒘 ❜

𝙋𝙖𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜: Meredith Grey x f!reader ♡

𝘼/𝙣: I've chosen Jackson, I haven't written much for him yet! So this will be also a minor Jackson Avery x reader, anyway I hope you'll like the rest! <3

In every situation a choice must be made. And most of the time the choice you make should satisfy your need. You can choose whether to wait and keep hoping or go ahead in search of something new. This was your choice. Despite your strong feelings for Meredith, you've decided to let it go so you can change things.

There was this guy, pretty cute, who was in the same internship class as you and he seemed to be hitting on you a lot. When you saw Meredith again you thought it was a sign of destiny and that you might finally come forward, but she didn't seem to show any interest and she even started dating someone else. An attending. Derek Shepherd. Chief of Neurosurgery. At first it hurt you, but then you thought about doing the same and agreeing to go out with Jackson.

It wasn't bad at all, in fact he really made you feel good. He was so nice and kind to you, you almost thought you could fall in love with him and turn this into a serious relationship. But it still bothered you a lot seeing Meredith with someone else and you hated yourself for it.

Sometimes she was in the corridors with Derek, blowing a few kisses while they talked, not caring about the people passing by, but just looking like she wanted to show off, so you did the same with Jackson when you saw her, letting his lips wrap yours as they met passionately. The only result was a few glances between you, nothing more. But neither of them wanted to stop. You also tended to highlight your plans for the evening or the day, which confused the hell out of Jackson and Derek, but despite having a huge effect on both of you.

Derek and Jackson seemed to notice, it was starting to get so weird. As much as Jackson might have displeased him he'd noticed you were somehow jealous of Derek, he'd understood you cared especially for Meredith, but of course you'd never tell him, so the only thing he could do was continue to put up with it all and go after you.

One morning you rushed in together, had coffee together and left before him since you had a surgery scheduled and didn't want to be late. He decided to take it slower.

"Avery" Derek's voice caught his attention, making him stop sipping his coffee in peace.

"Doctor Shepherd" he politely greeted him.

"Okay..." he looked embarrassed. "I'll get right to the point" he stated bringing a rather curious expression to Jackson's face. Was that what he was thinking about?

"I think you've noticed it too, cause it's obvious..." he started.

"Meredith and Y/n?" he asked to have the certainty. He did an expression to confirm.

"I know this isn't professional, but we need to clarify it" Jackson nodded.

"Meredith told me about Y/n, they knew each other since childhood" Jackson raised his eyes.

"Oh... I did n't know..." in his head he had always limited himself to putting the pieces together, but you had never spoken to him about Meredith. And he had never bothered to ask for information.

"And it seems like both will never face it" The two shared the same suspicions.

"That's difficult" Jackson continued.

There was a moment of silence between the two, then when perhaps the situation was finally about to change, Derek was called.

Jackson just strayed there, thinking about it. He had a huge crush on you but apparently he understood this wasn't what you wanted.

Before he could be late too, he entered, with all the thoughts still whirling through his head. In fact they were able to ruin his whole day, and as soon as he had a chance to talk to you, he took you to a call-room to clarify.

Thinking you understood what he wanted to do, you welcomed him with an intense kiss. And although he liked it, he interrupted the situation; he was going to have a serious conversation.

"You okay?" you asked him having noticed something weird.

"Is this what do you want, Y/n?" he asked looking deeply at your eyes. You were confused.

"Jackson, what-"

"You don't want me, I know. You don't want us" his expression as he pronounced those words almost broke you. But deep down you knew what he was referring to and you couldn't say anything against it. He nodded at your silence.

"It's her, Meredith" he continued.

"Jackson, I'm so sorry, I... you're very good..." you tried to get out of it.

"I know, it's okay" he put a hand on your cheek. "I won't be the one who will prevent you to be happy" he gave you a smile, that you knew were forced, and without adding anything else, he left the room.

He did this for you. You almost wanted to cry, even you didn't know the reason. You loved Meredith Grey, and this was ruining your life.

That same evening you went to Joe's bar, hoping it would helped you throw this day in the trash. You sat down and asked the usual drink, tequila.

"Tequila for me too, please" you turned to Meredith when you heard her voice next to you. You weren't in the best mood to face her, so you just ignored it all and continued drinking.

"Shitty day?" she asked you.

"Yeah" she seemed to want to talk. "You?" you asked.

"Derek doesn't talk to me" she said placing the shot glass back on the table. "Because of you" she continued. “And… I think he's right” she admitted. You looked at her, feeling a little pissed.

"Really Meredith?" you crossed your arms after you finished drinking. “Well, you could say that first, you know? You made me feel like a crap about this situation” She raised her eyes.

"Did I do this to you Y/n? You didn't do anything either!" she said irritated and making you feel a little guilty. But it was both's fault. None of you said anything, even the feeling was strong.

You looked into her eyes, before forgetting everything and approaching to kiss her. It was all you needed, knowing that you both felt the same way and that you would do anything to have each other's presence close.

You pull apart for a second to look at each other, can't helping but smiling and kept doing it as you stumble into another kiss.

[daintyshu]

𝐊𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐌𝐘 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄

xiv. bitchless hoon (1.5k written)

"hey, i didn't manage to ask you why you left early on wednesday," sunghoon questions you as he wipes down the counter.

you, him and jennie had just finished the lunch crowd at the cafe that friday and you were finally able to breathe. this is why you hate working opening shifts on friday; the crowds just come in all at once, not even letting you warm up just as you clock in.

"wait, how'd you know?" you question back, smiling at a customer leaving the shop, wishing them a good day and to come back. "i have my ways," he wiggles his eyebrows repeatedly at you as a devious smile grew on his lips.

you cross your arms, giving him a pointed look as you tapped your foot impatiently. that seemed to do the trick and he laughs, ruffling your hair despite it being tied up. "i'm kidding, y/nie. i dropped by for a while that night but jay said you left early,"

you give him a dismissive wave of a hand when he raises an eyebrow at you, as if asking for an explanation. "ahh, it was nothing. was feeling a little down so chaeyoung unnie let me go off early and she took me out,"

"like, on a fun day out?" he jokingly asks and you smack him on the shoulder. "i'm kidding, obviously. saw you went on a date with jay too," he proceeds to nudge your shoulders, wiggling his eyebrows at you teasingly while you only roll your eyes. never a dull shift with sunghoon.

"it was NOT a date," you clarified as you topped up the plastic cups while he looked for something to do to keep his hands busy. "jongseong just wanted to cheer me up, so he brought me out too,"

he frowns at this. "what's with them all trying to cheer you up? what happened? i mean, only if you're okay with telling me,"

you pause, contemplating whether this was something significant enough about you to tell him. then again, donghyuck already knew about it too so there wasn't any reason to not tell sunghoon. after all, you were closer with sunghoon than you were with the older boy. so you told him everything.

"you know what? i'm taking you out after work to cheer you up," sunghoon announces after several empty threats of how it's "on sight" if he ever sees heeseung.

"you really don't have to, hoon. all of you didn't have to, i'm really fine, i just didn't expect to see him again after so long," you told him honestly.

well, half-honestly.

it still bothered you that you and heeseung's relationship ended abruptly without your input. but you're happy with how your life is right now so it doesn't really matter anymore.

"so you don't want to go out with me after work?" sunghoon pouts, pretending to sulk. "it's jay, isn't it? that's why you don't love me anymore?" he jokes, clutching his chest as he pretends to dramatically cry.

jennie chose the wrong moment to come out of the pantry as sunghoon's gaze landed on her. "noona! save me from this heartbreak! y/n doesn't love me anymore!"

"she never did in the first place, hoon-ah. now stop fooling around and help me wipe the lightbulbs above the pantry, you're the only one who can reach it," jennie passes him a cleaning cloth and sanitising spray, opting to stay in the bar with you while she makes sunghoon do some cleaning in the back.

you giggle at his antics. never a dull shift with sunghoon.

you remember the first time you met the boy four months ago.

he had been a regular before he applied to work at odd atelier. the pretty iced vanilla latte boy. it's funny how you remember customers by their regular orders rather than the names they'd give you. you couldn't remember names to save your life.

sunghoon would get his daily iced vanilla latte in the morning to-go but gradually he started dining in more often. after a month, he decided to apply to work there and got accepted.

you were tasked to teach him all he had to know as a part-timer when he first joined the team. he seemed cold and standoffish at first but really, he was just a shy guy.

when you got closer to him, he started showing you his chaotic side which you grew to love. you didn't think such a cold-looking guy would be as goofy as he was. it's funny how every guy you befriend turns out to be some kind of chaotic but you love it. you needed that kind of energy in your mundane life.

you didn't know when it began, but as sunghoon grew more comfortable around you, he started getting more flirty.

you can't tell if it's really a joke or not because the way donghyuck does it really does feel like it is but with sunghoon, it doesn't feel so.

if he were being real, you honestly wouldn't mind it at all. he was a good mix of goofy and serious. he knew when to be playful and when to be understanding of a situation. he's pretty good company, too.

"yah! earth to y/n! why are you zoning out?" you feel a smack on the back of your shoulder, causing you to snap out of your daydreaming. "ah, unnie!" you whined, rubbing the spot jennie hit.

"you were zoned out," she states, shrugging her shoulders. "okay but did you have to hit me?" you counter, still rubbing the stinging spot on your shoulder as you pout at the older woman.

she simply laughs and ruffles your hair playfully. everyone who works here have developed this habit towards you it seems. you didn't mind it though, it's only at work anyway.

"i was telling you to bring out some pastries from the back for the pastry case but you weren't listening. what are you thinking about?" she asks curiously, wiping the glass display case while you make your way to the back to grab some cakes and pastries to top up.

you come back out with your hands full of boxes, jennie offering to grab some to lessen the load. "do you ever wonder why hoonie is single?" you ask her, glancing through the small window on the pantry door to see the mentioned boy working hard cleaning.

glancing over at the older woman because she wasn't replying, you were met with her teasing grin and wiggling eyebrows. "why do you ask, dear y/nie?" you gave her an unamused stare back, crossing your arms. you sigh, knowing you won't be able to close the conversation if she doesn't get the answer she wants.

"just," you look over to the pantry door again, this time making eye contact with the boy who winks at you, laughing when you roll your eyes at him.

"he's very good looking, right? and he's fun to be around, he's very caring and always knows how to cheer people up. plus, have you seen the amount of girls that have come up to him here and asked for his socials? he could've accepted anyone, literally anyone but he, own his own accord, chose to be bitchless. all of the girls i've seen him reject are gorgeous gorgeous girls too,"

jennie simply laughs at your little rant, closing the pastry case after she was done. "aren't you the same? like, you're literally the reason our cafe went viral after someone posted a video of you on one of the acoustic nights," the older mentions matter-of-factly. "how many people have visited just to see you since then? how many guys have asked for your number?"

"but that's different! i don't want any of them," you huff, crossing your arms as you pout at the older. jennie snickers at your response, pinching your cheeks as she coos at you sulking. "there's your answer then,"

"what?"

"you wondered why hoon is single despite being very desirable? same reason you are, y/nie. you don't want any of those guys lined up for you and neither does he with those girls," she explains. "he's probably waiting for the girl he wants. no offence, he doesn't look like the type of guy who would make the first move,"

"that's mean," you tell her, despite giggling at the remark. "but i wonder who it is he's waiting for..." you trail off, imagining what your friend would be like if he had a girlfriend.

would he stop those flirty jokes with you? would he still be willing to cheer you up on days when your energy felt off to him? would you have to cut off your friendship out of respect for his relationship? you wonder.

jennie watches in amusement at your serious thinking face. she finds it so precious how oblivious you could be. she wonders why you're thinking of all this right now.

as sunghoon comes out of the pantry to join you two back in front, she watches endearingly at the way you two interact. she doesn't know how everything will play out but one thing she knows is; she's rooting for sunghoon.

prev | m.list | next

synopsis. in which you work at odd atelier cafe and can only make hearts in your lattes, causing a certain boy to misunderstand your intentions..... then he brings his friends and chaos ensues.

a/n: i can't believe it's been 2 weeks since the last update...i'm slacking fr sorry yall i'm only human 😔 neways this might be a flop update but i'm trynna intro each character and their relation to y/n before any drama!! so bear with me 🫶

taglist (open): @semisemirin1i82 @txtmetonight @ilyjxdz @miniature-tragedy @n1k1mura @t00miee @manooffline @aerivrs @saranghaohoshi @woninluv @moony-mari @nctsshoes2 @sunghoonnsupremacy @mnxnii @lisaswifey @enhy4me2 @en-chantedtomeetyou @enhypenlovre (strikethrough means unable to tag!)

[darklordofthesimp]

Proximity (Din Djarin x Reader)

A self-defense lesson with a Mandalorian was not your idea of fun, especially when he had a habit of toying with you.

Requested By Anon: #70 You're really close right now

A/N: There's always sexual tension during training, isn't there? I really am sorry this is not the best quality. I struggled with inspo and motivation for this one, it was painful to write lol.

Category: Mutual Pining, Sexual Tension

Warnings: Swearing, Violence, Suggestive Themes

"I'm not good at this."

"That's why we're doing it."

"Because I'm not good?"

"So you can get good."

Your heart was racing and you hadn't even begun the session. The tell-tale signs of anxiety were everywhere: the dryness of your mouth, the uneven breathing, and your trembling fingers. It was a strange thing, how the body could anticipate something like that. You hated it.

"Come on," the Mandalorian's voice was low- as if he thought that if he spoke too loud, you'd run off. He was half-right, you were definitely considering it. Who wouldn't?

No one wanted to fight the likes of Din.

Especially not you.

"This isn't my job," you hissed, taking a backward pace towards the ship. "This is yours, actually."

The bounty hunter stared at you for a long moment. You knew why he wanted you to do this, he needed the comfort of mind. Those times when he'd leave you in the ship alone, armed with nothing but a blaster and a farewell nod, it would plague him.

"It's everyone's job to know how to defend themselves," Din rasped, unbuckling the strap on his shoulder. The rifle framing his back sagged and he leaned it against a nearby boulder.

"This isn't fair," you were beginning to panic, now. "You're a big-ass Mandalorian in a shell of impenetrable armor with decades of training."

He nodded dismissively as he removed the jetpack, lowering it gently to sit by his weapon.

"I'm a mechanic," you said simply. "I don't want to get hurt right now, I want to go fix the rust bucket."

Din straightened, finally finishing the offload of his personal arsenal. The sunlight glinted off his visor, temporarily blinding you. Rubbing your eyes with a soft curse, you were startled to find him close when you recovered.

"I'm not going to hurt you," he negotiated softly, "you need this."

"I don't need to get body-slammed," you snapped.

"If you're afraid now, how do you think you'll go when someone is actually trying to kill you?"

He was getting frustrated with your lack of co-operation. You could hear it in the lilt of his voice, the sudden husk of his words. It made you shiver, you didn't want to be riling up someone who was teaching you to fight.

You had always relied on him for your protection just as he had relied on you for your technical abilities. The difference was that he knew enough about your trade to stop his ship from falling out of the sky, whereas, you couldn't fight your way out of a wet paper bag.

"If you punch me," you pointed a shaky finger to his chest, "I will wire the Crest to self-ignite."

"Deal."

With that damning statement, he gripped you by the shoulders.

You blinked at him, nervously sinking into his hold. That was quick, although you weren't sure why you had expected a warning. Was he about to throw you? Headbutt you? Squeeze you to death?

To your surprise, it was none of the above. Rather, the hunter simply stood unmoving. It was as though he was almost... expectant.

"Well?" He jostled you lightly in his grip. "What would you do?"

You stared at him owlishly.

There was a sigh, his fingers dipping into the skin of your shoulders. You were pushing his buttons without trying and for once you were too afraid to take advantage of it.

"If somebody did this to you, how would you handle it?" Mando clarified.

Oh. You bit your lip as your mind raced to answer his question. You knew a little from your days before the bounty hunter, although you weren't sure it would do much against him.

When you opened your mouth to explain, the Mandalorian shook his head.

"Show me," he said.

You did what you remembered: a simple maneuver that had you pushing at the insides of his arms. To your relief, he let go and allowed you to carry out your plans. Reversing the roles, you snatched his hands beneath your biceps, and once he was trapped, you raised your knee in the pretense of a groin kick.

"Good," Mando nodded, fingers resting against your back. You quickly let him go. The training was a lot gentler than you had expected, and although it was a pleasant surprise, your companion had a wicked sense of humor. You rarely got to see it, but when you did, you were generally the butt of the joke.

"The aim is to get away," Din said, casually stepping into your space. "Don't stick around to fight."

You surrendered some ground, inching backward in the face of his approach. You didn't want him too close, purely based on the lack of reaction time you would be given. "Really?" You snarked quietly, "I think I could take you."

There was a surprised chuckle from beneath the helmet, so short you would have missed it had you not been so hyperaware of his presence.

"Yeah?" He teased you softly, walking you backward with slow strides.

"Yeah," you breathed.

"Come here, then." Din tilted his head.

"Nope," you wheezed, "no, I think I'm good."

He said nothing, offering only a small nod. The hunter made a show of looking over your shoulder and you felt a cold sweat trickle down your spine.

You should have been looking behind you, should have been aware of your surroundings. Had you not been so distracted by the man in front of you, you would have noticed that he'd been backing you towards a boulder.

Your breath was knocked from your lungs when your body made contact, the fabric of your clothes snatching against the rough rock. This wasn't a good spot to be in. Whatever was coming next would either be painful or humiliating and you sighed.

A quick glance over your shoulder confirmed that you wouldn't be able to simply walk around it. The obstacle was as wide as it was tall.

You made no attempt to move as the Mandalorian approached, where could you go? You'd concede to this loss and maybe he'd let you return to your actual job. But, instead, you realized he was toying with you, moving with the same torturously slow pace.

"Always be aware of your surroundings," he said with an arrogant shrug.

"You distracted me." You snapped, anxiety crawling from your stomach to your chest. You had no reason to be afraid, he wouldn't hurt you and you knew it. There was just something in the way that he walked, a demeanor you'd never seen before.

You wonder if you had mistaken a very different feeling for fear.

"I seem to do that a lot," the words were honeyed, suspiciously so.

The urge to close your eyes in anticipation was strong when he finally came to a stop in front of you. Settling for a squint, you flinched as he raised his hand to your neck.

"I'm not going to hurt you," he murmured roughly, "but if this was real you'd be dead."

"That's not fair," you huffed, framing the statement with a sardonic laugh. "You haven't even given me a scenario to work with yet."

You'd barely finished your sentence when he moved.

A hard boot kicked the inside of your foot, forcing you to widen your stance. The cold, hard beskar of his thigh pressed against the inside of your legs, pressuring them to remain open.

A sharp gasp fell involuntarily from your lips when his hand raised to rest against the base of your neck. Your eyes squeezed shut, grimacing as you held his wrist instinctively. His grip was soft, almost a caress, but the warning twitch of his fingers indicated that he would squeeze if needed.

The hunter's other hand settled against your waist, fingers digging firmly into the curve of your body. Another silent announcement that he could make it really hurt if he'd wanted to.

"Better?" He asked roughly against your ear. Your eyes shot open, chest heaving as you assessed his position. The inky black of his visor was barely a couple of inches from your face and your nose brushed against the metal of his helmet.

"You're really close right now," you blurted. The proximity made you dizzy, you would have swayed had he not been holding you so tightly. Both your hands gripped his wrist hard as he tightened his fingers fractionally before loosening again. The movement was almost playful and you knew then that he was enjoying this.

"I could be closer, Mesh'la," he murmured. He tugged at the hem of your shirt softly, slipping his touch to your skin. The leather of his gloves was cool against the raging warmth of your body.

You choked at the sensation.

"Are you flirting with me?" You whimpered disbelievingly. When you woke up this morning, nobody could have convinced you that this would be your afternoon.

"I'm trying to make you uncomfortable," he corrected.

"That's not the word I'd use, Din," you breathed.

There was a stunned silence and his fingers twitched against your skin. It was one of his tells, the small movement an easy way to assess his emotional state.

"How-" he cleared his throat, "how would you get out of this?"

"I wouldn't," you said simply.

"Why not?"

"You'd have never let anybody get this close," you rasped, watching him from beneath your lashes. You knew that wasn't what he was asking, not what this training session was for. In your defense, he had thrown that out the second he'd shoved himself in between your legs.

Your core tightened, pooling with a delicious heat that settled low. The pair of you had danced around your feelings for each other for so long, never approaching the topic but acknowledging it silently.

But Din had never been so bold before.

"What if I wasn't there?" He rebutted, tilting his head lightly. Your breath hitched in your throat as his thumb slowly stroked the skin of your side. "What if you were alone?"

"You're always there," you uttered lowly, the promise of a smile playing on the corner of your mouth.

"And what about now?" Din murmured, slowly pulling you to his chest. The hand around your throat lifted, skimming the skin of your neck to settle on your jaw. "How will you handle this?"

"Take me to the Crest and I'll show you."

With a knowing smirk, you hooked a finger into the bottom of his helmet. The digit was lost to the black abyss as you pulled him down.

[kitkatopinions]

Quick note, I don't know the person who made these tweets or what the "THIS is what they do" is referencing, I'm only using this as a jumping off point to talk about what seems to be a pretty regular repeated opinion among people who hate rwby criticism and rwde posters.

First things first, it needs to be clarified that the "don't call it a rewrite or a fix-it fic, only call it a fan AU" is in my opinion very ridiculous and also fundamentally misunderstands the differences between AUs, rewrites, and fix-it fics.

Fix-it fic: These fics are made in an attempt to fix something the writer did not like in the original project. They write things in a way they think is better than the original, or they write a thing that they didn't do in the original but the fic writer thinks is better than what was in the official content. There are pretty high expectations on fix-it fics for good reason, as the writer obviously is setting out to fix things. So for instance if somebody makes a rwby fix-it fic, I kind of expect them to do things like improve queer rep in rwby or improve world building in rwby and so on.

Rewrite: The writer is fundamentally changing things from the original, but a rewrite is not automatically a fix-it fic because people aren't always trying to fix anything. A fix-it is always a rewrite, but a rewrite isn't always a fix-it. Because in a rewrite, the writer could just be doing things that they think are interesting concepts, for fun, and not out of a desire to improve the official content. There are still expectations on rewrites to follow at least some element of story with format and all that, but there's less pressure to *be better than the original* because that's not automatically a part of writing a rewrite.

AU: A term for 'alternate universe,' this just means that the fic is not going to follow canon, there might be alterations as big as all the characters going to a regular high school in our world in modern times, to an AU where Pyrrha lives instead of Jaune. All fix-its and rewrites are technically 'alternate universes,' but AUs are even more relaxed and for fun than rewrites. So they're even less bound by any sort of expectations. There doesn't have to be any sort of formatting or anything for just an AU. If someone writes a romance based AU where Yang gets partnered up with Pyrrha and the two of them start a relationship, there doesn't need to be any fall of beacon, quest for the Relics, Salem doesn't even need to ever come up...

Not properly tagging a fix-it fic as a fix-it fic because some RWBY fans get angry whenever someone they don't know dares to think they can improve on the story of a bunch of other people they don't know... Doesn't actually do anything helpful. The fact that people have this 'you have to show only the upmost respect to the RWBY writers!' Why? Especially when Miles Luna specifically has a history of misogyny, biphobia, and said the n word as a twenty six year old. Why should I or anyone else be required to 'respect' a man who slutshamed the character of Tifa Lockhart by derogatorily calling her a prostitute because of what she was wearing and then lied about it when he got called out? It's a ridiculous expectation that really reads as massive insecurity on the side of anti-rwde posters.

So before even getting into the pieces of advice in the messages here, I just want to say that most of them do not matter in a rewrite or an AU. "This is my AU where Roman lived after the Fall of Beacon" is not immoral or wrong in any way. "This is my RWBY rewrite where I explore the ships I like rather than only the canon ships" like bro, who the hell does that hurt? So on and so forth. AUs and rewrites are just fans exploring fun ideas they like, it doesn't mean they actually wish the thing they're writing actually happened. For instance, I have plans for a fix-it RWBY fic where I try to mostly stick to the choices made in the original content and just do it in a better way (because I don't feel obligated to consider Miles "video games for your girlfriend" Luna better than me and stay in my demure place where I couldn't possibly improve upon a hot mess of a thrown together show.) But I also wrote a long fun non-published AU fic with my sister where we did this whole redeeming Torchwick, Mercury, Emerald, and Neo thing. AUs and rewrites should not be held to strict rules everyone needs to follow about who they are and aren't allowed to like or redeem. That's just killing creativity in fandom spaces.

But, now to get into these rules in practice of writing an actual fix-it fic (which again should actually be called a fix-it fic,) because a lot of these suggestions are actually good ideas... But A. Not all of them are, and B. I would bet good money that even the ones that are phrased well are used to baselessly attack people who aren't even doing the thing, and C. The actual original content of RWBY itself goes against these rules, but the same people that would pick apart a fanfic actively get angry when people dare criticize rwby.

So let's get into it.

Try to focus on the female protagonists

This is great advice for fix-it fics, and something that often puts me off of fix-it fics I've seen when they don't do this. 'Fix-it fics' that make men the protagonists or spend a lot more time focused on the men in RWBY than the women in rwby, it carries the implication that the person writing the fix-it fics thinks the there should be less focus on the women in rwby. However, this will also result in some anti-rwde posters who will see fix-it fics that do put a lot of focus on the female protagonists and have them be the protagonists and expand on their character and role but then also do things like have a chapter focused on fleshing out the character of Oscar and the anti-rwde poster will flip their lid about it. Also, this

Do not have a straight white male shame them for their actions

I'm assuming this part is focused on characters like Ironwood (arguably not white considering he was based in appearance of his Asian voice actor,) Ozpin (because despite the fact that most of the Oz reincarnations aren't white, Ozpin was,) Qrow (granted, very white, but is also one of the most coded as queer main characters,) and probably Adam. However, this ignores a couple of things, which is that if people are keeping to canon characters, Qrow, Ozpin, and Ironwood have all at times been mentors in canon - and also Ooblek and Port. It is generally a good idea to be careful when you DO write the main RWBY characters to mess up and get scolded especially if they're being scolded by white men, but the idea that you can't make the canonical mentors ever tell the RWBY girls they might be wrong is a strange one. Also it's worth noting that if you try to make RWBY more diverse by making some of these 'straight white males' into queer men or people of color, people are probably just gonna be more angry at you and still forbid you from ever having them say anything against the main girls. Also it's worth noting that RWBY canonically specifically had a scene where the white old man Peter Port who sexualized Yang got to tell off Weiss for being spoiled and entitled. So like... Maybe that should be criticized.

Do not make a cis white male have more of a role than them.

This is basically the exact same thing as the first point, which we'll see again. This list of suggestions has a couple different repeats.

No straightwashing

Another actually good suggestion, for the exact same reason as point one. Yang and Blake should stay queer, it's a very good idea to keep Jaune's sisters in mind (and maybe increase their role,) and May Marigold should of course stay a trans woman (and maybe get her role increased too!) However, it's worth noting that a lot of people consider it 'straightwashing' to have the bisexual Blake or the 'has expressed attraction towards men in like episode three' Yang ever be in relationships with men, and that's not straightwashing. It's biphobia to call a wlm bi ship straightwashing.

And NO fanservice

Now, look, "fanservice" to me has certain connotations of objectifying women, so I one hundred percent get this suggestion and think people should be very careful to make very sure they're not drifting into objectifying in their fix-it fics. However, I know how this fandom can get in regards to even young women so much as writing the now currently nineteen year olds to make out, so just to clarify. Even if it might feel like it sometimes, not everything romantic or sexual regarding the rwby main protagonists is inherently objectifying. Again btw, I want to clarify I'm not defending any specific current fix-it fic, just reflecting.

Don't make evil men "morally gray"

And we've come to the 'this is definitely about Ironwood and Adam and possibly Ozpin" thing. Here's the thing: There are problems with how the RWBY writers handled all three of these characters, and it's not immoral for anyone to make a 'fix-it fic' where they explore any of these characters as not evil especially considering that RWBY is meant to be a hopeful story, so making less characters plain straight evil is a perfectly reasonable thing. It's also worth noting that the actual show of RWBY made Hazel get redeemed as if he wasn't evil and treated him as at least partially in the right, while not having him truly apologize for the heinous actions he's done.

Also keep bumbleby canon

For fix it fics, this is a good recommendation because you can fix any problems you have with bumbleby. But also it's fine to not think bumbleby specifically should've been canon (though it's something I think could've actually been done well,) and going with something else. So long as you do include good other queer representation in your fix-it, not going with bumbleby shouldn't be viewed as an automatically horrible thing. You can make a fix-it fic where you put Yang with Weiss and Blake with Ilia or something. It's very silly to act like Blake and Yang being together should be a necessity. Again, there should one hundred percent be other queer main characters in your fix-it fic if you decide not to go with bumbleby.

Don't have Jaune or Adam date anyone in Team RWBY

...This is also something I think is a generally good idea tbh, and I don't have much else to say about it. In fact, adding a romance element to Adam and Blake's relationship actively hurt the show imo. Having Jaune date a member of Team RWBY can be done, but generally speaking I do feel like people should just avoid that, especially if the character is Weiss. But again I should point out that in the actual show of RWBY, they've made Weiss openly attracted to Jaune in season 9 while they had aged Jaune up a good twenty years, so... Yeah.

Ruby is to be idealistic, and it shouldn't be a character flaw

This is an interesting one, because I mostly believe in this. Ruby's being idealistic is something about her character I actually enjoy, and I also think that in a good show her beliefs would be challenged, and she would come out of it stronger, still with her hopefulness and her ideals but also willing to be smarter and more careful. And in a good show, there would be good characters who might have a different outlook that isn't villainized. So while I don't think that Ruby's idealism should be treated like a flaw, I do think her beliefs should be challenged and not treated as the only good and moral thing (and something tells me the people that complain about fix-it fics might consider that the same thing as 'treating it like a flaw.')

Yang is not a party girl, not an alcoholic, and not a slacker

So, the alcoholic thing is so specific that it makes me think this was specifically directed at one fix-it fic. But as for the other two. On the note of 'Yang is not a slacker' I would argue that in the early episodes, she wasn't actually shown to care about her studies much, but that the early episodes kind of rush through 'team RWBY finding their footing,' so in rewrites giving Yang an early character flaw of being a slacker... What's the issue with that? I'm genuinely confused with that one. Is it not in her early character of being an energized, fun loving girl? I don't get it. Now for the party girl thing... I'm also confused about that, because - and correct me if I'm wrong - didn't Monty Oum make 'party girl' like part of Yang's early characterization? When he was concepting her? And there was a whole thing in volume 2 where Yang and Weiss are planning a party and she's like bringing in loudspeakers and wants a fog machine, should we not think that means that she likes to party? Her whole first appearance in the Yellow trailer was specifically set in a club to get across the vibes they wanted for Yang. Yang goes to a club in volume 7 and is specifically talking about dancing at the club and the loud music at the club. Also my sister found this for me from the back of a V1 DVD.

They literally call Yang a party girl themselves! Do people just think there's something immoral about clubs and party girls and therefore don't want Yang to be one? Because that doesn't sound good, it sounds judgmental.

Jaune is a side character

This is advice that is very much not in line with canon. Jaune is at the very least a deuteragonist in canon and is often very much so treated as a main character, sometimes out stripping some of the main girls in terms of lines or screentime in a volume. I do think that fix-it fics ought to either reduce his role or increase the roles of the main characters, again to give more focus to the title characters in Team RWBY. However, it's just ridiculous to me to complain about Jaune's prominence in RWBY fix-it fics because I'm just like... Look at the main show! Complain about how much importance is put on Jaune in the show!

Adam Taurus is irredeemably evil So is Torchwick

I am certain that this is about one specific fix-it fic that some anti-rwdes make it part of their core rwby beliefs to hate, because most people only actually put Torchwick in the same category as characters like Adam and Ironwood in the 'you're not allowed to like and/or redeem them' category when they're talking about one specific fix-it fic. XD But just because other people do not like these two doesn't mean it's ILLEGAL to like and/or redeem them! In my opinion, there is no such thing as a person who is completely irredeemable! And in a hopeful show, wanting to redeem villains - especially villains who have been horrifically branded in racist acts - is not a bad thing??? This is your reminder that these are not real people who actually did bad things in real life, they're fictional characters, they're tools to be used to tell stories. This is basically just the "don't make evil men 'morally gray'" thing again but like, extra specific. Yes, Adam and Torchwick in the canon of RWBY are horrible evil people. But they're fictional people, you shouldn't villainize people for wanting them to be better and writing them to be better in a fix-it fic of a show that's meant to be fundamentally about hope. There's nothing hopeful about 'some people are irredeemable,' but 'even bad people can change and get better' is a really hopeful sentiment.

Once again, none of these expectations should exist for just 'rewrites and AUs' and are only applicable to actual fix-it fics, and some of them are just so pointless. It's literally just enforced fandom rules, and fandom rules kill creativity imo, there shouldn't be characters that people are forbidden from redeeming or just shouldn't ever make morally gray, or ships that are absolutely required that must be done. Even in fix-it fics! One person shouldn't expect everyone else in the fandom to fit with what they or what the writers want. Yes, there are things that I think should generally be done in fix-it fics like focusing on the main girls and keeping to the general outline of what happens in the canon series, but some people act like fix-it fics should really just unquestioningly copy paste the original work and call it good, and that's ridiculous.

Two more things to note:

Sometimes when people are trying to make a fix-it project, it can snowball into more of a rewrite. If they decide to start inserting characters just because they like it, or branch off into random tangents just because they find it interesting, or so on. So even in fix-it fics I think there should be allowances made and people need to understand that not every single thing in even a fix-it fic is something that the writers sincerely think should've happened in the actual canon of RWBY. I can't tell you the amount of times my sister and I have sat down to make a fanfic (we never publish btw) that was supposed to be 'a fix it for volume six onwards' or 'a fix it of volume seven' or something and wound up completely spiraling into a separate thing, and then we wind up being like 'okay but we really should write an actual fix-it sometime.' If you're publishing while you write, or posting your fix-it online as you go, you can't just be like 'guess this sorta became more of a rewrite than a fix it lol' if your fic is already titled as a fix-it. So I'm just saying, it's worth it to expand a little understanding that sometimes people making fan projects for their own enjoyment aren't always going to be hypervigilant to not let a little bit of personal bias and personal enjoyment leak into their choices.

Next thing to note: We should be holding RWBY to a much higher standard than any fan project. RWBY is a product that people are trying to sell us that's making an actual company money, it's the actual product itself, with a team of writers and their job is quite literally to make the story of RWBY good. Fics and fan projects are things people do as a hobby, that they're not getting paid for and therefore aren't selling to anyone. It's wild to me that some people will let RWBY the actual show get away with anything and actively try to stop people from criticizing it and then go around reading fanfictions nobody made them read so they can insult the people that make them over every little perceived injustice. If you're going to get angry at a fanfiction writer for including a little too much Uncle Qrow in their fix-it fic, please ask yourself why Jaune is such a prominent character in RWBY the actual show and why it doesn't bother you then. If you're going to get angry that a fix-it fic writer has Ozpin criticize the main girl protagonists, please go back and rewatch Jaune as a forty-something year old scream in Ruby's face that she's responsible for all bad things while she's crying, and get just as angry at the show writers as you would get at a fan if they did the same thing in their fic.

Anyway, this post was super duper long, but.... I'm done with it now.

[ofinkandpaper]

A Changed World

Yandere!Villian!MHA x Reader

Hello! Finally, after nearly an entire year, I have finally finished chapter two with the gracious help and beta reading of @cupidcreates ❤️ So many things have been going on in my personal life and I really appreciate y'all's patience with this. Also, to clarify why I tag certain characters though they don't appear in a this chapter: they are referenced and are an important character to the story as a whole, so it makes it easier for me to keep track of what tags I should put on each chapter when they're all the same.

Note: The characters are aged up. As the story progresses, I will tag each chapter with respective trigger and content warnings, which may include mentions of murder, assault, cannibalism, stalking, torture, arson, terrorism, and other felonies, Yandere themes, Sexual assault, Mental illness, abuse. I do not own MHA nor do these personalities represent the writers, characters or VAs of the show. This is strictly fiction and for entertainment purposes only.

**Trigger Warnings: Implied Stalking/Being Watched

Word Count: 3,566

Taglist: @lolawassad @letskidaddle @youngbeansprout @bakuhoes-dumbass @cupidcreates

"Okay, so here's what I'm thinking." You glanced up from your computer for a moment, pausing in writing the few reports Tamaki had asked you for to give Kendo the small amount of attention you knew would be needed for her to continue talking.

Her casual drone, when comfortable, made for nice background noise and gave you a sense of peace.

"You could always move in with me! Sure, you may have to deal with Monoma every once in a while, but he's mellowed out a bit since we graduated so he isn't as much of a nuisance as he used to be." The thought made you scoff, but gave you a tiny bit of hope for the blonde man. Even with as much hate as he spewed at your fellow classmates, you had a small soft spot for him. As far as you could recall, you were one of the few that he had actually confided in when it came to his quirk insecurity - whether a copying quirk was a good fit for hero work or not, and not having much support about it in his childhood. Sometimes it made you wonder, a little dejectedly, if he had been making a jab at your own quirk. Sure it wasn't anything fancy like Hawks' was, but you liked it well enough.

"You of all people know I don't actually mind being around him, Itsuka." You huffed a laugh and went back to typing, "Besides, I can tell you right now I'm not a good roommate. Partially due to my quirk and partially due to how much I enjoy being alone sometimes."

"Oh please, if I could handle you in the UA dorms, I can handle you in a regular living situation." You could almost feel the force of her eye roll as you hear her flop back onto your bed. You glance at the clock to check the time before continuing to type, making a silent promise to finish this one report and send what you have done while promising Tamaki you would finish the rest tomorrow.

You wanted at least a few hours with your friend while she was here, you know?

"Honestly, I think you only managed that because of Monoma and Tetsutetsu." You smirk and glance her way again. Again, she scoffed and waved a hand dismissively as she turned her attention to her phone. Once more, back to the paperwork grind, you pushed through the last few sentences before sending them off to their respective destinations.

"Oh. There was one other thing I wanted to ask about." You swivel to face Kendo, frowning as she sat up and gave you the most serious look you've seen on her the entire day.

"What's up?"

"Are you really okay living here? With all the gang activity?"

The sudden weight of her questions caused a slight tension to rise over your body and your expression to fall a touch. You turned away from her as you thought of an answer, staring blankly at your keyboard. You could hear her shifting - uncomfortably, you assumed - as she tried to wait patiently for your response.

It was hard to think of an answer that didn't sound like there was some lie to it. Sure, you were used to the gangs, and appreciated that they didn't make your life as much of hell as they probably could… but that didn't mean you were entirely comfortable with them getting away with strong arming innocent civilians just because they knew the local heroes weren't supported enough to be able to stand up confidently and fully against them.

In all honesty, you had half a mind sometimes to leave Tamaki's agency and join the local one to add some backbone to the force.

"It's alright… it's not exactly what I would really want, but it's what I can afford at the moment.” You pause and give a shrug, “And the gangs haven’t been too bad recently. Just wish the hero agency in this area had a bit more support so they could actually do something about it all.”

Kendo was quiet as she took in your words, and with your attention away from her, her expression neutralized. It would have been easy for you to see the thoughts that swirled behind her eyes; thinking of how she could help and who she could talk to about either easing the situation in your neighborhood or getting you to move elsewhere. Having known you since your schooling days, she knew you were a stubborn one - she could almost put you on par with Midorya and Bakugo, if she were being completely honest.

Maybe a talk with Nejire was in order.

She forced a smile on her lips as she stood and went over, humming as she placed a hand on your shoulder. You looked up at her, finding a soft smile coming easy to you in response to her own.

“Well, while you figure out what you want to really do - don’t lie to me, I can tell you’re thinking about it - remember you have a plethora of people who have your back if you ever wanna move out.”

You sigh and nod, softly mentioning Tamaki’s offer to help you move closer to his agency. There was a sudden, but subtle, stiffness in her hand, though before you could really question it, she relaxed and moved away towards the bedroom door.

“Why haven’t you taken him up on it yet? Oh, and did you want any tea?” She pauses at the door, waiting for your answer. You hum and nod, standing to follow her to the kitchen. This small moment made you glad she still felt comfortable enough with you to know she could make use of your home-space as if it were her own.

“I don’t know… if I’m being honest, I just really don’t want to feel like I’m taking advantage of his kindness. Like, getting me an entire house? That’s a lot - way too much! I could never just casually go ‘oh sure, thanks boss!’ to something like that.” You hoisted yourself up onto the counter, swinging your legs a little as you watch Kendo shuffling around getting the kettle and mugs set up. She raised a brow and glanced your way for a moment as she turned the oven on to start boiling the water.

“A house? I thought his offer was for an apartment.” You make an elongated noise, accompanied by the shrug of your shoulders and one of your hands swaying side to side in a ‘maybe’ gesture.

“House, apartment… he’s offered a few different options, including moving in with him,” Again you shrug, “But, again, it's nothing that I can easily accept from him. Not only do I not wanna  seem like a burden that needs to be protected, but I also don’t want to step on his toes and feel like I’m taking advantage of his kindness.”

She seemed to fall quiet in her thoughts as she watched the kettle, waiting for the whistle to signal that the water was ready. You let yourself relax a little further and rest your head against the edge of the cabinets while surveying the rest of the kitchen casually. Would it really be so bad if you decided to take one of them up on their offer to move in? Well, Tamaki did offer first - but Kendo was, as you felt, a closer friend. Glancing up at the ceiling, you contemplated if there had been anyone else that you could recall offering you a place to stay that wasn’t infested with more gang activity than a single hero could handle; you pull a blank as the kettle begins to whistle. Kendo picks it up and softly asks you to hold the tea bag strings in place as she pours. You were glad to do it; it gave your mind something else to focus on, and your hands something to do.

“I don’t think he would ever consider it as being taken advantage of. He is the one that offered in the first place.” She smiled and set the kettle on a cool stove burner before picking up and handing you one of the mugs. You gave her a soft thanks, accompanied by a roll of your eyes.

“That is true, but he is still my boss. If it isn’t the thought of taking advantage of his kindness, then I could only imagine what the more immature members of the agency would think if they caught wind.” That got a responsive giggle as the red haired girl shook her head almost wildly; you were pretty sure that if she hadn’t had that cup of tea in her hands, pressed against her chest, she would be waving her hands all over the place.

“I don’t even want to think about that! I’ve seen some of the members of your agency - I’m honestly surprised Suneater hasn’t said anything to them about their behaviour yet.” For some reason, her calling Tamaki by his hero name gave you pause to ponder slightly - had you been the only one to call him by his name this entire time? And why did it feel weird to hear him being referred to as anything beyond his name? You shake the thoughts before you could dive too far down that specific rabbit hole.

“I’m not sure, but I do recall him talking to a few at one point. Must’ve been really bad considering how they ended up acting like absolutely perfect angels after their private conversation with him.” You sipped your tea and let your mind wander again for a moment. What had those few done that caused Tamaki to actually reprimand them like he had, and not any of the other kinds of offenders? Kendo shrugged and took a sip of her own tea. However, before she could speak, her phone began to ring from the bedroom. Excusing herself, she set down her mug and darted off to answer it - you hoped you hadn’t kept her for too long. She hadn’t even mentioned if she was on call for hero work today or not before coming over to hang out.

You continued to nurse your tea, carefully leaping down from the counter so as not to knock her mug over in the process or spill any of yours.  You meander  into the living room and ponder if you wanted to either watch TV or grab a book to read. Or, as the thought came, you could go grab your own phone and either mindlessly scroll through social media or read fanfiction of your favorite shows and movies. You had a bit of a guilty pleasure when it came to reader inserts - though you weren’t sure why you called it guilty when it was a perfectly acceptable form of written media for your consumption!

You turned towards the bedroom as Kendo came back out, a pout on her lips as she went to her mug to take a few more quick sips before dumping the rest. Your brows furrowed in silent question when she finally turned towards you.

“Got called in to help with a few rougher captures.” She sighed and shook her head, “Guess the newbies weren’t as well trained in the area as we thought they were.”

“That’s understandable, was anyone hurt?”

“No casualties yet, but if you want I can keep you up to date on the progress?” You nod and she smiled, returning it before striding over to grab her bag. Instead of her usual hug and verbal goodbyes, she gave you a quiet wave as she slipped out the door. You sigh and glance around the room again before sitting down and flicking the TV on to see if there was anything good on at the moment, or if you were going to have to switch over to one of your streaming services.

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The moment the door shut behind her, Kendo sighed and pulled her phone out to redial Nejire-Chan.

Hello~?

“Just left their apartment, everything seems to be fine.” She spoke softly as she moved away from the door, keeping her head down as an unexpectedly deep frown found a home on her lips. She heard Nejire hum from the other end for a moment or two before she spoke again.

I’m glad to hear it! Gotta make sure Suneater’s little star stays safe… though, you seem to be troubled by something? The question almost caused Kendo to laugh, even over the phone no one could keep even a single thought from the woman’s notice.

“Did you know he had offered them to move in with him?” There was a pause on the other end before a playful groan.

Seriously? Talk about a bold move - never would’ve expected something like that from him! There was a giggle But, at the same time, too forward of a question when he doesn’t even know if they like him back or not.

“Well, from the sounds of it, they were really giving it some thought after I offered to let them move in with me.” There was another giggle and the clicking of the lavender headed hero’s tongue.

Now, don’t go around making promises you can’t keep. You have orders to keep an eye on them, not make moves! This got a full laugh instead of the usual giggles as Kendo’s cheeks burned from a flustered embarrassment. She hadn’t thought about it like that when she first offered, but there was a flutter in her chest at the thought of the domestic kind of life she could have with one of her best friends. Did she have a crush on them? She wasn’t sure, and didn’t even know where to begin trying to figure that out. Instead, she cleared her throat and decided to pull the topic in a different direction.

“Have you heard word from Monoma yet about..?”

Not yet, but I’m sure it won’t take long for LeMillion and Deku to show back up on the radar. I’m still curious as to what they were needed for over in America. Kendo could practically hear the pout through the phone call, which brought the smile back to her lips and pulled her mind from her previous thoughts.

She looked around her before walking up to the bus stop and sitting down, wrapping her arms around her bag to keep it close to her chest while she swung her legs. She got an odd fulfilled sensation whenever her feet would scrape against the concrete beneath her.

“I’m sure they’ll tell us all about it when they come home - if it wasn’t too confidential at least.” Nejire-Chan hummed in agreement. As she heard the other hero take a breath to begin speaking again, there was a soft voice on the other end catching her attention. Nejire pardoned herself for a moment and lowered the phone just enough to muffle the conversation, though Kendo could still hear it relatively well. Just as she’d been told before, it was about those villains she had to help get put into the system.

At least she hadn’t needed to tell them a lie when she had to leave, now that she thought about it.

Hey, I need to talk to you later. Let me know when you make it in! As she was hanging up, Nejire’s voice could be heard instructing the sidekick on what they should do in regards to whatever the question was they had asked.

Pulling the phone fully from her ear, she glanced around the bus stop and down both ways of the street for any sign of the bus before looking back down at her phone to scroll through her camera roll on a whim, also because she figured it was better than pulling a book up and getting sucked into the story while she was supposed to be at least somewhat focused on watching for when the bus came.

It felt like so long since any of them were in UA, and she was glad she was able to get so many memories saved into her phone during their time… it also felt a little weird that, now that she was thinking about it, that she managed to still have the same phone that she had all through school. Just that responsible with it, she supposed.

Scrolling through, there were plenty of pictures of Class B - a decent chunk  of which were just evidence  of times when Tetsutetsu and Monoma would steal her phone for impromptu photo sessions with the rest of the class. The memories made her eyes roll with a fond smile on her lips; she hadn’t heard much from Tetsu in a while, but that was to be expected when he was constantly on the job with Kirishima. Meanwhile, it was nearly impossible for her to get away from…

She blinked in surprise, opening one photo she had no recollection of finding before now. It was a selfie of Monoma and Tetsu on either side of… them. All three of them were smiling wide, as though laughing about something, and Monoma actually, genuinely, looked happier than she had ever really seen him before. Her smile came back, fonder than before, and her cheeks flushed a soft pink. For all the trouble he caused them, she really couldn’t imagine not having him as a friend. Any of them, really. She cleared her throat and put her phone down to keep herself from going emotionally overboard from the nostalgia, and just in time for the bus to arrive as well.

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The rush of the air outside the airplane cabin was calming, though his leg continued to jitter as he watched the clouds pass by. He was eager to get home and sleep in his own bed, patrol his own streets… see his friends. Needless to say, he was homesick, but he was on the track back home so it wasn’t too bad anymore. It had been months since they were last in Japan, and as much as he loved being over in America to learn and do some network connecting, he was more than ready to be back. Not to mention he was ready to have authentic Japanese  food again from his favorite restaurants . Maybe he could drop by his mom’s place and get something homemade…

“You’re looking a lot better there, Deku!” The green haired man blinked and looked up at his traveling companion, his smile brighter than the sun - as per usual. Deku returned the smile, though a softer version, and nodded.

“I’m excited to be back home. I wonder how everyone’s doing.” He turned back to the window as Mirio sat across from him and looked out his own window. One of the perks of being a top five pro hero: getting to take a private plane instead of flying commercial - not that there was anything wrong with it! He just… wasn’t comfortable with tight spaces with very little options for maneuverability.

“I’m sure they’re doing just fine, though I’m also sure you knew that.” Mirio chuckled and turned his attention to Deku, “Especially with how you’ve been constantly exchanging emails with almost everyone during our time abroad.” Deku laughed and rubbed the back of his head. It was hard not to constantly be checking for new messages during their away time. Was that clingy of him? He didn’t really think so, and he was pretty sure someone would’ve told him to chill out with the instant replies. Even Bakugo hadn’t told him off about how quick he was to respond, which was a little bit of a surprise.

“Fair. How has Suneater and Nejire-Chan been, by the way? I know you’ve been keeping up with them.” Deku turned from the window and looked at Mirio, who he was surprised to see had a conspiratorial  smile and was raising his eyebrows up and down.

“Nejire told me Tamaki has a crush on one of his sidekicks!” The blonde was moving to pull out his phone to flip through his messages while Deku tried to pick up his jaw from the floor.

“That’s great! Who is it?” Mirio held his phone out to him. On the screen was a picture of Tamaki and a hero dressed in a black and white suit with white owl wings.

“She hasn’t given me their name yet, wanting me to introduce myself to them in person first so I don’t spook them or let on that they were talked about behind their back. Not that talking about a friend’s crush is all that unusual.” Mirio chuckled and shrugged as Deku handed back the phone. He smiled and nodded.

“It would probably be odd if you called them out by name without them having met you before.”

The two continued to talk, from the mystery hero to how the agencies were doing and the crime rates that they’ve been hearing about. Not to mention going over profits from their side hustle and how things were going on that front… though, it was a little hard to focus on the rest of it when the hero Tamiki was pictured with kept slipping into his thoughts.

He would probably have to go with Mirio to greet them when they landed…

[mdhwrites]

The Hate Sink Page For The Owl House is Hilarious

Not for what's on the page, that's... fine (I could go into my issues with calling some of them Hate Sinks) but for the fact that it's both comprehensive and also not? Specifically that it excludes ALL the demons.

That's not even a joke. BOSCHA is missing from a list about HATE SINKS. There's only one actual line in the entire first two seasons that Boscha says that isn't supposed to portray her as a terrible person. That's way more severe than the literal first entry on the page: Matt. You know, the kid who IS given a sympathetic reason to be evil in his first appearance. Hell, if a bad first appearance is all you need, Amity and Hunter should be on this list because they're both gleefully monstrous in their first outings in a way that Matt isn't.

The other REALLY obvious, missing one is Tibbles. You know, the person people would despise more if his episodes where he's a main antagonist weren't almost entirely forgotten, or hated, by the fans? In fact, NONE of the S1 one off demons are here. The publicist, the monster hunters (one of whom literally has always dreamed of murdering kids specifically), the scammer from S2 who tricked Eda and Lilith's mom, etc.

The ONLY demon on the list (unless you count the coven heads which... I have no idea, especially since Darius literally changed his hair to abomination style so I don't think that's enough to classify Terra as one but maybe Dorian?) is Kikimora which... Yeah. You'd have to just be bluntly choosing not to talk about the demons not to bring her up.

This isn't actually meant to be condemnatory of anyone, it's just hilarious to me, especially with how demons were treated in the show. Like this list to me speaks of someone who effectively only rewatches TOH starting at S2 and like... Most people in the fandom are on the side of S2, or at least S1B, being when the show gets really good, when there isn't so much filler, so I guess that's not surprising. It just adds to the silliness of any of them complaining about a lack of plot in S1 of Amphibia when so much of early TOH I feel just gets entirely forgotten by people.

Then again, the writers forgot too so... *evil grin*

======+++++======

Just a silly blog that amused me after someone linked the page in my Discord. Matt is BIZARRE to have on the list honestly and I don't even think the number of them is that bad since most of them are at least effectively one off villains so yeah, they'll commonly come off as hatesinks. The omission of Boscha though while clarifying that Matt is made better over the course of the series is just something I couldn't get out of my head.

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[romeulusroy]

Succession Preference: Having a Partner With Bipolar Disorder

A/N: I have Bipolar II, so I can only write from my own experience and what I do to cope. I wrote a Peaky Blinders request similar to this, too ages ago. Know that I'm not trying to glamorize or romanticize anything. I just have a really hard time seeing myself be in a relationship with anyone because of this disorder and I fear no one will love me or someone like me because of all this 😅 I just want this to be sweet for anyone going through the same things I do! 💜💜💜

Connor has no idea what you're talking about. You seem fine, right? It's only when you finally break down, exhausted from keeping up the facade, do you tell him that you have Bipolar Disorder. He's heard of it of course, but not in the terms you're thinking of. In jokes about his dad being "so bipolar", about the weather being "so bipolar", but not like this. He sits you down, hating that you thought you needed to hide this from him, that you were using every last bit of your energy and focus to keep yourself together. You weren't even doing a very good job, you thought, canceling your last date because you couldn't leave your house. He asks a lot of clarifying questions, needing to understand what it is, why you have it, how long you've had it. It runs in your family, and you've had it for a long time. You're managing things with medications and therapy, but it doesn't stop these episodes from happening, not completely. The next question he asks brings tears to your eyes: how can I help? No one's ever asked that. They dismiss you, saying you don't have it because you're not explaining your entire history, your every thought, to them. Or they shake their heads/roll their eyes, not wanting to hear or care about it, like you should stop talking about it. Connor wants to be there through everything, even the hard parts. He's not giving up on you or your relationship like you feared. He cares about you, every part of you, and nothing will ever change that. He assures you, nothing.

Kendall isn't sure what to say besides okay. He knows you're in therapy, that you take meds at night, but he doesn't really give it a second thought. Not until he finds you standing in the scalding shower, date night clothes on and soaking wet, does he start asking questions. You can't answer, give a coherent one at least. Your skin won't stop crawling and this is the only way to make it better. It's the only way to regulate without doing something self-destructive. You stand there for as long as you need. It's not until a few days later that you tell him you have Bipolar Disorder. Okay. That you're beginning to feel manic. Okay. That you can go through periods of mania and depression. Okay. That the hot water helps. Okay. That you're not a danger to anyone else or yourself. Okay. That you're in therapy, that you're taking your meds, that if he doesn't want to be with you anymore you'd understand. That knocks the wind out of him. What? That's not at all what he wants to do. You know that he's not understanding the full weight of your words, that he's only seen you hypo/manic, the fun, bubbly, lively you. He hasn't seen you depressed, he hasn't seen you crash like you will soon. You ask him to take a break, until you're back to stable. He asks how long that will be. You're not sure. After about a week he shows up at your doorstep, unable to be without you. You still remain careful, explaining everything to him, making sure he knows what he's getting into. You're still not convinced despite the years you've been together. Kendall isn't worried. He'll be with you through it all. Everything.

Shiv I love shiv she's so pretty knows quite a bit about it. She took a psych class in college hoping to diagnose a few family members. She understands the basics, the two ends of the spectrum, but she's never met anyone with it. At least, that she knows of. She finds out about it the first night you sleep over at her house. You think you're being quiet with the pill bottles, but she's quieter, making you jump as she appears out of nowhere. You say they're for sleep, but she knows better. You try to shrug it off like it's nothing, but she wants to talk about it. You can't meet her eyes when you explain everything. The reason she's never been to your place is because you've been depressed lately and it's a mess and it's taking everything out of you just to show up to work. She holds your hand through all this, playing with your fingers, a sign that she's worried. You think you've ruined it all. She must hate you for deceiving you like this. Instead she grabs her bag and walks you to the car. From there you go to your apartment where she starts cleaning. You're so embarrassed at the state of things, but she doesn't seem to mind. She never wants to hear your voice crack like that again, she never wants you to be so full of guilt and shame like that again. You'll figure it out together, you will, she promises you. She'll help you every step of the way.

Roman at first makes a joke about it. You knew he would. He's seen you at your lowest, he's seen your scars, he's heard all the horror stories. You're not trying to scare him away with this, you just need him to know that sometimes things can get very bad and he needs to be prepared for that if he wants to be with you. You've been together a long time before you work up the courage to tell him, though he's suspected something for a while. You couldn't get out of your bed, you weren't eating, you were sleeping and crying and shaking all day. You'd completely shut him out, not answering his calls or texts. He deserved an explanation that wasn't a half-assed apology. It all makes sense now. So, what, now I'm dating two people for the price of one? You're being vulnerable and all he has to say is that? Once he sees the look of hurt on your face, he immediately apologizes, over and over again. Of course he can make jokes about it, you'd prefer if he did instead of never bringing it up again, just not right now when you're trying to have a serious conversation. You tell him that if he wants to call it quits, he can, that you would totally understand. You know it's not easy living with you, dealing with all this, at least he has the chance to leave. That's what he calls you crazy for, for thinking he would leave you over something like this. He's seen you as your worst and he loves you more than life itself. Not despite it, not out of ignorance or because he feels like he should, he just does. Bipolar Disorder won't change that. Nothing will. You're stuck with him.

[starseneyes]

Chenford REWIND- Lucy Chen / Tim Bradford - The Rookie - Season 4 Ep 21 & 22

Here's another pair of episodes that have been requested together a few times, now, so I'd love to answer the call!

SPOILER ALERT: If you hate spoilers, you'll hate this. Run away. Turn around. Scroll on by. If you do choose to enter in, I'm going to write this as though I were seeing the episodes for the first time, but I will be spoiling both these episodes and reference episodes leading up to it.

If you're ready to read, I'm ready to share. Let's dive in!

Mother's Day

"Mm, yeah, that's a hard pass. Look, I'm boycotting Mother's Day, but even if I wasn't, I really don't think this is the right time to meet your parents."

Lucy Chen putting up her walls and keeping the men she dates at arms' length is completely on-brand. We haven't even heard her call a guy she was seeing "boyfriend" to date on this show.

And with everything going on with her mother and her utter lack of support for her daughter, I don't blame her for not making a big deal out of Mother's Day.

Also, Chris, honey. It will never be the right time for Lucy to meet your parents because y'all ain't gonna last. Lucy is meant to be with Tim. You saw it, once, at the world's worst double date, but you've chosen to ignore it. So, you're a moron.

"I figured you'd say that. But they've been hounding me about meeting you for weeks."

Run, Lucy. Run. Because his parents sound as clingy as he is, and you do not need that drama in your life.

Your instinct is right not to want to meet his parents... maybe you don't need to continue knowing Chris, either. Just sayin'.

"Are you really freezing your mom out?" "I mean, I bought her flowers. I'm not an anarchist." "I'm thinking we just lock in the Hyatt. They have a lazy river, what else do you need?"

Oh, look. Tim and his Blonde Bitch and Lucy and her Dead Weight Puffin have run into each other in the station.

Last time the four of them were together, it looked like Chris and Ashley were mighty jealous of Tim and Lucy's connection. I mean, if I were sitting at a semi-romantic dinner next to the love of my life, I'd be distracted, too!

"You think I'd be sick of beaches, at this point, but it's gonna be awesome."

Watch how Lucy looks at her man (and I don't have to clarify which man in the scene, because y'all know how this goes).

She's looking at Tim like he's got a second head. Because there's no way this man is going to be happy going to the beach. He doesn't. like. SAND!!

"I gotta get to work." "Me, too. I'll walk out with you."

Good. You two can take a long walk together, realize you're perfect for one another, and leave Tim and Lucy the hell alone. Everybody wins! (especially us)

"Call me if you change your mind." "I'm not going to."

Love how he touches Lucy and she physically pushes him away. Like, back off, dude. When Lucy's mind is made up, it's made up.

"Change your mind about what?" "He wants me to meet his parents. So, uh, whose idea was Hawaii?" "Mine, I guess, why?" "

Nyla's arrival interrupts the thoughts, but we all know why. Tim Bradford is Tim Bradford-ing, again, and giving too much in a relationship. He hates sand! And he's suggesting they vacation... on an island.

But there's something else needling at her about this vacation...

"Are you proposing to Ashley?"

Look. At. Her. Face. Her face right before she asks. She's building up the courage to ask him this, because big Hawaii vacation is more than he ever did with Rachel, and it screams romance, right?

"What!?"

Cackling laughing at this. This is the furthest thing from his mind, right now. Yes, he's dating this... person... and they're doing dating people things. But, he's not even thinking about marrying her.

"Of course not. We've only been dating a few months."

This suggests that Tim Bradford likes to take things slow, and isn't in a rush when dating someone. But, the "of course not" shows that he thinks it should be obvious to Lucy.

"You might not be aware of some of the signals that you're sending." "What kind of signals?" "The kind that makes her get a manicure because she's assuming she'll be sending pictures of her hand to all her friends."

Tim looks terrified. Look, we all know Ashley is a placeholder girlfriend until Tim and Lucy get their act together. But he doesn't know that.

Tim is visibly shaken. His hand is unsteady on the wheel, he's looking back at Lucy repeatedly while stumbling through answering the call. Because he really never contemplating marrying this woman. Something in him knows she isn't the one.

*hint* The gorgeous, badass gal beside you with the sunshine-y personality and compassionate heart is right there. Might wanna ask her something sometime, eh?

"My abuela taught me the perfect curse to put on him."

I have to put this line in here for context. Yes, Angela is talking about Nyla's ex. But we now know that if you need a curse, Angela's your gal.

"When did hotels get this expensive?" "Oh, that's pretty good." "Seriously?" "Yeah, I mean, it's a nice hotel."

First off, Lucy is doing all the planning for any trips they take once they get their act together. Second, this kinda hurts. It drives home how long it's been since Tim's taken a romantic vacation.

We know that Tim remained faithful to Isabelle while she was missing. We know that they were together for a long time. But when did they stop going on vacation together? How long has it been?

Tim, you deserve to go on more romantic vacations... but not with Baywatch Reject, okay?

"Oh, you're going to Hawaii. Congratulations on your engagement." "Ah, told you." "I'm not getting engaged!" "Does your girlfriend know that?" "Yes. It's not an issue."

Annnnddd... another voice echoing the romantic vibe of Hawaii that lends to the expectation of engagement. I was rolling!

"Looks like you won't be the only one getting married." "What?" "Nothing. Ignore her."

I love the look that Angela and Lucy exchange, here. Much as there have to be bets rolling around about Chenford, I'm sure there are other bets, gossip, and secrets in that station.

Angela knows Tim better than most, but even she knows that Lucy could be onto something she's not. When this all started, Tim and Lucy had to hear about each other through the rest of the Station.

Now, they've got one another on speed dial and are the first to know what's going on with the other. So... maybe Tim is proposing.

"Ashley can't possibly think I'm proposing." "Why not? I mean, you're of a certain age-"

Tim's face on that had me rolling. We can estimate he's about 10-12 years older than Lucy. And that reaction was priceless.

"She is in her prime. I mean, on paper, it's, it's like a no-brainer. Okay, be honest. Can you see yourself married to her?"

He can't. We can see in his face right there that he really can't. And as the wheels are turning, something pops into his mind that sets him on edge. He glances over at Lucy and he nearly gulps.

Now, I can't tell you what he saw. I'm a Meta writer, not the show Writer or the actor. I can postulate all I like, but I don't know the answer here. But my guess? If he thinks of the future and being married again... he sees Lucy.

Because the person for him isn't the person he's dating. I truly believe he started this relationship with Ashley as a way to distance himself from his growing feelings for Lucy. He's burying them deep down, the same way he did his trauma with his father. And like his father, it's going to take an external force to bring it all to a head.

Lucy is trying to get Tim to talk this out, the way that she talks things out. But we can feel the edge to everything, here. She's not yet fully aware of what she feels, but it's there.

It's dripping in her hesitancy at first asking him if he's proposing, in her nervousness at his response to this question. Because if he's that serious about Ashley, there will never be room for them.

And as Lucy waits for her answer, Tim realizes he can't say the truth. So, he lies.

"Yeah. I can."

The cameras purposefully focus on Lucy, here. On her disappointment. On her sadness. Because, she's not ready to admit it, but she's falling for Tim.

Yes, she is with Chris for the same reason Tim is with Ashley. They both think the other isn’t an option (though for different reasons, at this point). They're both deflecting because they can't get hung up on something that'll never happen.

It's admirable, in a way. They're trying to be happy for the other person while hoping they'll pretend themselves into believing they're happy, too.

"I'm not expecting a proposal. I would say no if you asked."

Proving that everyone got into Tim's head, he addresses the issue with Ashley directly. But I don't think he expected this. Tim isn't ready to face his feelings for Lucy, but having this door shut is unexpected.

"I have no interest in every being married or having kids. I'm just not wired that way."

First of all, there is nothing wrong with being this way. Nothing at all. Some of my closest friends never wanted to be married or have kids, and as we near 40, they've stuck to that and are quite happy.

But there is something wrong with Tim being with someone like that. Because he wants the wife and kids.

Tim didn't have the stability of a safe and loving home, and he wants so badly to break the cycle and pass on a different legacy to his own kids.

Tim spots Lucy watching from the window, and he decides to turn the situation on his head. He's been stressed the eff out all day worrying about this. Now that he knows Ashley has zero interest in marriage, he has to have some fun.

Lucy's Heart Breaks

I don't think she knows until this moment just how deep it is, how she feels about Tim. She's known for a while that something was there—something that could never be.

But watching through the glass as he gets engaged to someone else... it hits so hard she can't ignore it. She can't pretend it away. She can't bounce back.

I've seen people say this is the moment for her—the moment she realizes she's falling for Tim. I go back and forth on it. Because she's known for a long time that she has a thing for Tim.

We saw back in 4x01 that she was totally ready to sleep with him. And while Lucy's confident in her sexuality, she doesn't sleep with just anyone. We know she doesn't do one night stands. She has her standards and sticks to them.

Even earlier in this episode, she can't be completely oblivious to how she feels when he says he can see himself marrying Ashley. No, I'd argue that Lucy has known since 4x01 that there was something there.

Is this a point of no return for her in terms of pretending? Yeah, I can go with that. Because in this moment, she can't shake it loose, and she can't move on. Tim is engaged and she's heartbroken, and they were never even really a thing, right?

So, is this the moment she realizes she has feelings for him? No. I think 4x01 sealed that up because she knew she was willing to sleep with him that night. But, is this the point of no return in terms of pretending not to have said feelings? Yeah, I can roll with that.

Chris approaches, and she keeps looking back at the parking lot, because that's where her mind is stuck.

"It's a good thing you didn't come because my mom, she drove me crazy."

Lucy offers a half-laugh. But she's visibly upset. She's so distracted that even Chris, Mr-Hums-THE-Song-And-Can't-Read-A-Room picks up on it.

"What's wrong?" "Nothing. I-"

Her phone goes off to the "GOT YOU!" message and now she's pissed. Because she's now had to deal with a slew of emotions striking her all at once, only to find out it was a joke.

"Could you just wait here. I need to go find Lopez and figure out how to put a curse on someone." "Yeah, right. Oh, you're serious."

"Serious as a heart attack", as they say. Tim screwed with her emotions, and she's pissed.

Day in the Hole

AKA "Finding Your New Favorite Flavor"

"Come on. We gotta get to work." "She'll be here." "Seriously, we gotta go." "She'll be here."

Mom and Dad waiting for their daughter to show up. Come on, you see it, too! Tim's back from his vacation with the Land of Sand, and we've thankfully left Lucy's jump-scare behind us.

Hopefully the curse doesn't work too well because Lucy might want things to not fall off in the future, if you know what I mean.

Lucy is applauding like a proud mother as Tamara nearly kills a couple people. Tim's glaring like a slightly-annoyed father. I love this family.

"My car was your first car." "I mean, if we're including cars I've stolen, this is probably like my fifth." "What?" "Joke!"

Yeah, you can't joke like that around your step-dad. Tim's a bit of a hard-ass, if you hadn't noticed.

"You are gonna take it to the mechanic though, right? You never know what these cars have been through." "Yeah, Tim set me up with his guy." "What, you did?" "Yeah." "Oh, you have a heart after all."

Mom and Dad... you're flirting in front of the kid. Like, Tamara's not the kind to go "ew", but, still. You might want to chill out considering you're still dating other people.

"Relax, ok? It was purely self-interest. You would be a total drag to ride with if she died in a fireball of mangled metal on the 405."

Did you hear how Lucy gave him that motherly "tsk" in the middle of this!? I've heard it a few times since in Season 5, but this is the first time I can remember it really standing out to me in previous seasons.

"Joke!"

Not your best first attempt at a dad joke, Timothy, but since it's you, we'll let it stand.

"Previous owner of your car is Jake Butler."

Can I say I love how Tamara kept picking things up off the desk (like a kid) and Lucy played the mother role by wordlessly taking each thing away all while continuing her work? Lucy is such a natural mom!

"Let's take a look at his mugshot... But." "What? What the what?!"

This next shot is GENIUS. I have no idea who came up with this (writer/director, etc), but it's genius. We go from the two shot of them looking at the monitor to a shot of Tim approaching.

He sees something that stops him in his tracks... and then we get to see it, too.

Half the station's gathered around Lucy's monitor. And each actor is giving an amazing performance, here. I've paused and played a million times to appreciate each one. Do it. You won't be sorry.

"What's going on?"

Cue everyone looking at Tim. Except Lucy. She's about a beat behind everyone else, which draws my eye to her, every time. And the music bumps up to give us an auditory transition.

"It's even more uncanny in real life."

Through a combination of swift transitions, body doubles, and Eric Winter being in two different positions, we get the treat of meeting... Jake Butler. Tim's doppleganger.

Come on, how much fun must this have been for Eric Winter to get to play this kind of character after playing Tim for so long? And my husband especially appreciated Jake's pot belly.

Yes, while he hasn't seen this show, Matthew is fairly well-versed in Chenford and my appreciation for Melissa O'Neil and Eric Winter as performers.

We get a bit of split screen at the end (throwing me back to my Parent Trap obsession as a kid... yes the one with Haley Mills. I'm old). And I'm frankly excited at all the different techniques in use for this episode when one actor has to be two characters simultaneously.

"He really doesn't look that much like me." "The hell he doesn't." "Not the brightest bulb, though." "Oh. Oh my god. It's Tim and Dim."

The ladies get a chuckle out of that, but Tim's nonplussed.

"Yo. This is blowing my mind. It's like we're looking in a fun-house mirror of handsome." "Sit down Dim... Jake."

I died laughing the first time I saw this. Lucy really got into his head on that one. But, knowing how easily Lucy can get into his head these days, it's no surprise.

"Have we met before?" "No. That I'd remember." "Oh, you would."

Even Tim's doppleganger is flirting with his girl! Yes, I've seen the episode and know that Dim should know why Lucy looks familiar. But it's funnier this way and just plays into what a dumbass Dim is.

"You just wanna see me pretend to be Dim." "Duh." "Fine. I'll do it." "Yes! Okay, okay."

Lucy is so excited she puts both hands on Tim to stop him in his tracks as he's walking.

"So, uh, we gotta dirty you up. And then we have to slick back your hair, because, you know, that guy was, like, kinda greasy." "You are enjoying this way too much." "Oh, and tattoos! We gotta get tattoos."

Lucy, Tim Bradford isn't your Ken doll. As much as we all know you'd like to practice dressing (okay... undressing) him.

"Rescue 1 status?" "Rescue 1. We're ready in 60 seconds."

How much do I love that Lucy is heading the team to protect her man? There's no way she's going to let anyone hurt Tim, but it also gives us the chance to see some worried Lucy.

Tim's been worried about Lucy going undercover so many times, but we've not really seen her worried before. The hit man UC before was fairly safe. He wasn't in any real danger.

This is different. This is a criminal on his turf with a long drop and plenty of armed guns standing by. Lucy's worried for her man.

"Get ready to breach." "If anyone lays a hand on our UC, you put them down."

Let's be real. Lucy and Angela are two of the most important people in Tim's life at work and outside of it. And here they are getting to be his guardian angels—his wife and his best friend. I love it.

"So, I had Dim's girlfriend picked up." "Okay. Why are you being weird?" "It's easier to show you."

We need Sava to know who is going to go undercover with Tim, right? As if things weren't weird enough with Tim's doppleganger, now we've got Lucy's.

Tim is inside and already waiting for her reaction. Now he gets some payback for how much she was ragging on him and his doppleganger. Tim's smiling like an idiot.

"Guess we know who's going undercover with Dim." "Yeah, Juicy." "No." "That's Juicy." "I don't like that."

Our babies get to go undercover as a couple! They spend so much bloody time trying to run from how they feel, and now they've gotta cozy up to one another and play boyfriend/girlfriend? Sign me up! I'm so ready to see this.

We know both of them are capable in the field, though Lucy's a little more natural on the fly. But getting to see them together's gonna be fire, right?

"If we're gonna make this work, our backstory's gotta be airtight."

Oh, Lucy, honey. I didn't mean actual fire. You've lit enough candles to send a beacon to all of LA more powerful than the Bat Signal.

Lucy brings Tim a beer. And while they've shared drinks before and he's been in her apartment before, I find this particular combination so very domestic. They're brainstorming on the couch instead of at the counter, and I think all of this ambiance shows how relaxed they are around one another.

But also that Lucy's a tiny bit horny. Look, we know she's in a committed relationship with Curried Goat Boy, but subconsciously Lucy has lit a hundred candles because she wants Tim Bradford.

Now, Lucy's not a cheating person. We know this (and I go into more depth in 5x01 Meta and beyond). But, some part of her is subconsciously excited to have Tim in her home and wants the ambiance to be just right.

"Agreed. So, um, how did Dim and Juicy meet." "At a barbecue." "That's lame."

Also, are there barbecues out in LA? Like, real barbecues where you smoke meat for hours at a time? Or is Tim talking about a cook out? They really are two different things... I'm from the South, so we're kinda weird about that.

Plus, when Tim first said it, I said, "Lame." So, I take a small bit of pride in being on the same page with Lucy on this one!

"Really? You think you can do better." "Watch me! Okay, so, um, you were on the run from the cops. A bank robbery gone wrong. You ended up in my building, frantic, looking for a place to hide. And I opened the door for you. I lied to the cops for you. And, ooh, and it got me so hot that we hooked up while they were still searching the building."

Tim's mouth has fallen so far open that we're halfway to his O face.

He's imagining every bit of that. Because, after all, he remembers better when he listens, right? And Lucy just took him through one heck of a journey that will be burned into his brain for a long time.

He's imagining every bit of it... especially that last part.

It takes a second for him to recover.

"Okay. That's, that's, that's pretty good, actually." "Thank you." "Mmhmm." *giggle*

His brain's moving, now, and he's overthinking. Because, what bad guy will ever say, "Kiss your girlfriend or I'll pop a cap in your ass!"?

Also, I love Lucy's giggle. There's an episode in Season 5 where I discuss it extensively, but I love how it makes an appearance, here, considering where this scene is headed.

"So, look, we, we should, we should probably, you know, talk about the elephant in the room." "Hmm?" "You know, if we're gonna sell that we are, you know, actually boyfriend and girlfriend, then we might have to, uh, you know?"

And Lucy does know. But she's having a lot of fun fucking around with Tim. Come on, the girl is so repressed in her feelings for him that she's never gotten to really poke at him this way. And she is loving it.

"Have to, have to what?" "We might have to, to." "Okay, okay. We might have to PDA?" "You know what, forget it." "No, no! Okay, you're right."

Lucy nearly touches Tim's hand before he moves it. They're still very careful about being physical with one another, partly because of the boundaries of their job, but also the personal boundaries they've set with one another.

Remember what I said in 4x01 about proximity making it harder to deny what they feel. They're sitting as far away from each other on the couch as they can, as it is.

"Yeah, you're right. I mean, if we're gonna, if we're gonna have to kiss it probably shouldn't be for the first time." "That's what I'm saying." "Right, yeah."

Because the baddies need to see you kissing, right? Like, isn't that what everyone does when they're engaged in criminal activity? Stop to make out?

Maybe James Bond does, sure, but actual baddies?

Whatever. I wanna see them kiss as much as the rest of you. So, let's see if they can get through the initial awkwardness to get the job done.

"Should we maybe, uh, should we stand?"

It cracks me up that this is so awkward for them. Just a few months earlier (show time) these two were considering the horizontal mambo in his bed, and now they can't even figure out how to get through one kiss.

When Tim makes the kissy face and she runs away, it cracks me up so much. I mean, nobody really kisses like that, first of all, and I'd probably die laughing, too.

Fishy face Tim is not his best look.

"We're professionals. Let's just get this done with." "Woah. Well that's romantic." "I'm not trying to be romantic." "Well, you're succeeding."

Tim and Lucy. Never change. Y'all are making me die laughing when normally I can't stand awkward scenes. But Tim and Lucy can be this frank with one another because neither thinks the other is an option.

Truly, that's what gives them all this freedom. They think the other person has zero interest. They each think it's all in their head. So, they can treat this little moment as something totally bizarre that they have to do for work.

Tim gives Lucy the most chaste-wouldn't-offend-my-Spanish-Catholic-grandmother kiss in the world. And he looks so damn proud of that tiny peck, too!

Lucy echoes all of our thoughts.

"I'm sorry. Is that it?" "You know what, if you're gonna criticize-"

Tired of talking, Lucy pulls him in with both her hands on his face. Their lips meet, and as soon as they do, Tim's hands instinctively go to her arms.

The kiss deepens as the camera shift around them, both of them leaning into one another as Lucy's right hand falls from Tim's face.

Their lips part briefly, the hint of a smile on Tim's lips as his hand settles on her shoulder. Lucy's left hand falls from his face.

This pause could have been the end of it. The second their lips parted, they had done the assignment. Case closed. Kiss achieved. Move on to the next thing.

But Tim and Lucy don't want to stop. Now that they're finally here, both of them want to keep going. Tim has her in his arms. She has her hands on his chest.

In this moment, they've forgotten the assignment. They've forgotten Chris and Ashley. This is the definition of "getting lost in the moment". Tim and Lucy are the moment.

Tim is a touching-foreheads kisser and a top-lip-lover. He goes for hers just as the door behind them opens.

You've. Been. Caught.

Lucy distances herself from Tim by pushing off of him with her hands. His left hand drops from her am as he literally runs to the wall to put distance between them.

"I should probably go."

I love Tamara. Like, she's not judging them in this moment, and she has absolutely no idea what is happening. But, she has to know that there's something between them just waiting to be unlocked.

"No. This is work. This is work."

Lucy spat it out the first time, but she says it again because, well, it's true. And she needs a way to explain this away. Not just to Tamara, but to herself.

"Yeah, yeah, we're, we're going undercover." "Hey, it's cool. I mean, you don't have to explain yourself. I should probably go." "No!" "No, I, I was just about to leave. You know what? No, I don't have anything."

Cackling. Dying. ROLLING the first time I heard that. Tim Bradford is so flustered he can't even remember if he brought anything in with him. And what would he be looking for, exactly? A file? Paperwork?

"I'll see you tomorrow." "Good work tonight. Ay."

Lucy. Chen. Did you really just say that? Even she can't believe she said that. But Tim is too flustered to call her out on it.

"Great work, as well. Bye."

Tim high-tails it out of there so fast. And Lucy lets him go. But why?

Because they both know what just happened wasn't some fluke. They both wanted it. They both felt it. And neither knows what would have happened if they hadn't been interrupted, but both knows that because they were... it's awkward.

Like, they could barely talk about having to kiss. How are they going to talk about the fact that it felt... real?

"I'm gonna go to my room." "Yeah, me, too."

Lucy can't talk about this. Tamara just walked in on her kissing a man who isn't the man she's dating. Not just thin-lipped kissing. We're talking mouths open, bodies touching, hunger growing kind of kissing. And it was with her boss.

And who is outside reeling? Tim Bradford. I love that the writers/director gave us this space to see how Tim feels. Because it would be so easy to dismiss this as a one-sided thing where the subordinate falls for her boss.

But Tim Bradford's been on his way down for a long time. He's been able to push it down, repeatedly. Even last episode when picturing his wife, he had to push Lucy down. I firmly believe it.

But tonight he kissed Lucy Chen. And she kissed back.

I used to think this was his moment of realization, but the more I've rewatched the episodes, I still think 4x01 was a huge revelatory moment for both of them that they've been pushing down and ignoring ever since. They never discussed it and they're both running from it.

This is the episode that makes it so much harder for Tim to run. He's been completely convinced his feelings were one-sided. But this is a hint to him that, maybe, he's wrong. Maybe, just maybe, she feels it, too.

Because she wasn't kissing him like a platonic coworker. She was breathing into him as much as he was breathing into her.

She didn't want to stop anymore than he did, and when Tamara walked in, they were both flustered. She felt it, too.

Yes, Tim's reeling from how he feels because he was smacked in the face with feels tonight. But he's also reeling from the fact that freaking Lucy Chen kissed him back.

"Hey." "Hey."

He was waiting for her. He's been thinking about this since last night, as has she. And he wants to talk to her before they head in.

"Listen, about-" "We should probably-" "Go ahead." "No, you go first." "You sure?" "Mmhmm." "Uh, okay. I just wanted to say..."

His eyes are so soft, here. Look at him. He's more of a show guy, but he's trying to find his words. And Lucy Chen's looking at him so expectantly.

And he chickens out.

"We need more work on our backstory. Give it more depth. Key moments. You know?" "Yeah, we, uh, we could take the morning, you know, while we're waiting for Hajick to call." "Great." "Great."

Look, obviously it's the Season 4 finale and they needed to drag this out more. But there are also a host of obstacles between Tim and Lucy, and he's not entirely sure of how he feels.

Having the night to think has also lead to time for him to doubt. He's doubting his own memories. Maybe it was the beer. Maybe the adrenaline. Maybe it meant something to him and nothing to her.

So, he chickens out. But Lucy doesn't know that. All she knows is that Tim wanted to talk to her, but it wasn't what she'd hoped to hear... so she shoves her feeling back down.

They're both in a point of mad denial. But, I think this episode was a turning point for them because it marks the end of them being able to pretend with themselves.

Yes, they'll still pretend with one another because they care so much about each other that they want the other to be happy, no matter what.

But, within their hearts both Tim and Lucy know there's something there that cannot be ignored any longer. Tim longs for Lucy. Lucy yearns for Tim. And until they start actually talking about all this, that's where they'll stay.

As always, thank you for reading! Please keep the requests coming! It rained all day, the kids had a rainy-weather fun day indoors, Matt has a cold, and I'm still nursing the back thing. So, writing this was a great distraction.

I really appreciate y'all reading and going on this journey with me. Next one'll likely be for Tuesday night's fresh airing of 5x13. But I'll try to get to more requests on the flipside! Stay safe out there.

[enchantra35]

Reflections on V4 & V5 of RWBY by a first time watcher

(Lengthy post ahead)

Hi, it's be again, back on my bullshit. First of all, I'd like to say that I didn’t expect my first post to get that much attention LOL. I'd like to clarify (again) two points:

First, I agree with most people's explanations. I didn't mean to sound like I was accusing fans for not thinking that bumbleby would become canon. My intention was to point out to some earlier hints, and I realize now that I could have used some better phrasing. As I explained elsewhere, when rwby aired, I was too young to know anything about the state of queer representation in media at the time. Now of course I know better, although I never got to experience that kind of anxiety - at least, not to that extent. My second point is that I was mostly referring towards homophobes and incels who were trying to persuade shippers that bumbleby wasn't happening, and not to fans who couldn't be certain due to the overall circumstances.

With that said, the aim of this post is mainly to discuss some things I've noticed while watching volumes 4 & 5. There wasn't much I wished to comment on after finishing v4 as I found it very transitional, so I decided to do one unified post for both volumes, especially since someone suggested to watch these volumes as one. Let me now get to the main points I'd like to mention.

-Edit: I forgot one of the most important motifs imo; the moon. I noticed how each volume it looks bit by bit more ruined, showing how the world below is also falling it chaos and society as it is known is destroyed. Also, it's eventual (potential) complete destruction will make the nights darker, symbolizing the triumph of evil. I love subtle details like that.

- Ozpin's and Crow's dynamic really reminds me of Dumbledore and Snape. Ozpin in particular reminds me very much of Dumbledore - and I definitely don't mean that as a good thing. Although he clearly has good intentions and he's a "good guy" per se, sometimes it feels like he's using his students as sacrificial lamps for the greater good. Personally, I'm not exactly font of the idea of pushing the fate of the world onto the shoulders of a bunch of teenagers. Oscar is still a KID and all he's ever known is how to be a farmer and suddenly he's sharing a body with one of the smartest and most powerful people to ever walk the earth and their fates are suddenly intertwined. That's so insane. And on top of everything, Ozpin isn't 100% honest with him. I'm glad that Yang confronts him about keeping secrets. I will give it to him however that he's honest enough to admit his mistakes.

-Raven is probably one of the most fascinating characters. Can't say whether I like her or hate her, but there are so many layers to touch upon. It's interesting how she's constantly trying to prove to others - and essentially to the viewers as well - that she's cruel, smart and calculating (and she definitely is all those things) and that she doesn't care about trifle things, but ultimately she fails, as it is evident by the end of volume 5. She does care about Yang (although she has a very strange way of showing it) and her tribe most of all. She's also smart enough to see Ozpin's shortcomings.

- I liked how they explored Yang's trauma from loosing her arm and how she copes with the loss. "A part of me is lost" is such a powerful statement and it points to how everything has changed, but Yang accepts it.

-At the same time, that girl has no chill with that prosthetic arm. She straight up dismantles it off her shoulder just to win the wrestling against Nora (and later on to elude Mercury. I bet that if anyone asked her to give them a hand, she would just toss it on their feet then laugh her ass out. She's so silly, I love her.

-With that said, I wish they could have explored a little bit more of Jaune's trauma, but still I think we see well enough how Pyrrha's death has affected him. But why the FUCK did they have to give him more trauma in order to unlock his semblance? Another of his friends almost dies before his eyes, give that boy a break, good Lord.

- Ren and Nora 👀. I love me some good childhood bestdriends to potential lovers. Their background is so tragic but there's something about then growing up together that makes me feel things. I love their dynamic and I think it's pretty hilarious (collected, quiet guy and loud, silly, powerful girl). It was nice how they gained some catharsis when they finally killed that monster. And the symbolism when they hid under similar building where Nora tried to calm Ren down? Literal tears.

-"I was struck by a lighting and I lived. What a Wednesday" GIRL WHAT, LMAO

- I really enjoyed Blake's and Sun's dynamic, whether someone sees them romantically or platonically (for me personally it's the latter, but that's besides the point). Sun has always been a great friend, and although he can be really annoying sometimes, he is there for Blake and he's able to make her see things clearly and persuade her that isolating herself isn't a good thing. I feel like without him around, things for the Belladonnas would have been very different. He's a bit of a himbo, but I love him.

-The angsty Bees got me really well this season. Yang's anger is definitely justifiable and she has every right to be upset.

-"What if I wanted her to be here for me?" BITCH-

-Weiss pulling the "what's that supposed to mean?" every time the Bees are being angsty will forever be funny to me. The OG Beekeeper.

-That said, I think that she explains Blake's point of view really well and I liked how she reached out to Yang although "they aren't that close" (her words, not mine) and seeks to comfort her.

-Did I say that I hate Weiss's family? (Except maybe Winter, but the rest can go burn in hell). I'm GLAD Weiss realizes that ream RWBY is her true family. You love to see a good found family trope.

-Genuinely CANNOT stand the Bees this season /j. Blake seeing her team again and the only person she calls out for is Yang? And Yang's puppy eyes when she sees Blake again? WHY ARE YOU GAY?

-One of the funniest lines was when Crow was like "How can six children make so many noise while having dinner?", like BUDDY, you just answered your question. Tired uncle Crow for the win.