#to me ac was about moving far away for the first time and accepting life as it comes and everyone being free to live however

[myrfing]

aw man other than jumping into rf5 for realsies after i get my horis i want to fish in animal crossing again. i do want to redo my town but coughing blood and whatnot

[3cremepie3]

Airhead pt. 1

Synopsis - Riddle Rosehearts x fem reader. Y/n is an idiot and needs help with studying from Riddle! She wants to pay back his kindness in the only way she know how.

Warnings - innocent riddle, lose of innocence, graphic mentions of head lol, premarital sex, cursing, spit, roughness, slutty y/n, bimbo y/n

A/n - I was supposed to start this series so long ago but I got caught up in request. I found this so fun to write and I will be continuing it!

“Hey riddle,” you exclaimed. You pulled him in for a big hug he deserved it for being so generous. He was helping you study for free! “There’s no need for that.” His words were harsh but his smile said otherwise. Whatever you let him go and plopped down on his bed.

“Wow, it’s so soft I can lay here forever.” You will not now up at once,” he demanded. “In order to get optimal study results students sit at desks. I have a perfectly organized one here.” You sighed getting up to sit at his desk. The chair was cool against your ass cheeks that hung out your dress.

It was uncomfortable and for some reason forced you to sit up. “Now let us begin I have tea time to attend to and I’ll leave you for independent study time then.” Okay,” you accepted. The session didn’t even start yet and you were bored. "Yawning already? Did you not get a good night's rest?"

"No, I stayed up all night waiting on a flash sale." Well, that was idiotic,' He claimed. "When your dorm has no AC you make do with what you can get, look isn't it cute."

"My god," Riddle gasped. "Isn't that lingerie women wear that for their husbands and as far as I know you aren't married." You erupted into a fit of giggles. God, he was over dramatic! “Riddle you're too innocent for your own good," you laughed. "I'm just wearing it to bed what's the harm in that?"

"You're right." He cleared his throat and stepped away to grab a hefty text book. "Hand me your phone there must be no distractions." You were hesitant but handed it over. Riddle grabbed a chair and scooted over towards you. Your body moved closer to his wanting to marinate in his scent. "Wow, you smell so nice Riddle like roses."

"Well thank you I make sure to use rosemary oil and- what are you doing get back to reading at once!" He pointed to the paragraph your eyes finished scanning. "I already finished," you pouted. "Fine then let's get started on this written response."

"The teacher wants you to write this in a formal format so no personal perspective." He continued to yap on and on about something that you couldn't bother to hear as you were distracted by the flamingos running across the yard. "Get him." You cheered leaning out the window to watch the mayhem between students and flamingos concur.

In an instant, you flashed him the short dress that you wore hiked up your back. “You mustn’t lean over like everything is showing,” Riddle yelled. He covered his eyes wanting to keep your privacy. “Ace he went that way,” you pointed. You felt the air on your ass and quickly realized what Riddle had been yelling about.

“Oops my ass was out,” you giggled. “It’s not funny Y/n!” Come on Riddle you act like you’ve never seen anyone’s panties before.” He stared at you blankly. “Wait you genuinely haven’t?” His face became rosy red at your question. “Well, not in real life of course.”

“Christ how is anyone this pure,” you wondered. “My mother kept me very sheltered from a lot of things.” So you’ve never watched porn?” He held his head low not meeting your bright eyes. “ How is that your first thought no I have not.” We’ll have you ever had a girlfriend or a side hoe or a hookup?”

“No I don’t have time for any of that,” he admitted. “I guess remaining top student comes with its downfalls.” You frowned for Riddle. You couldn’t imagine not getting laid. Just then you thought of something. “Well, Riddle since you gave me your time helping me study I’ll give you mine in bed?” You watched him awaiting his answer. “But mother says only married couples do that.”

You slapped your forehead out of frustration. “Mother means married couples stick it in. No one said we have to do all of that.” I suppose there’s no harm since it’ll be a fair exchange and as long as it’s done before tea time.”

“Yup just the perfect pace,” you gleamed. Now why don’t we get on the bed,” you suggested. “Alright.” Oh wow Riddle I’m surprised you’re agreeing to this.” Well, you only live once they say.” He propped himself up on his elbows wanting to face you.

“This process is for relaxation you can lay fully down.” He laid back sinking into his many pillows. “Good boy now take off your clothes.” You heard his breath hitch at the thought but his hands were eager to make them come undone. He stopped at his underwear, however. “Need help or something.” Your hand graced over his bulge and then to the band of his boxers.

“I think that would be best,” he admitted. You couldn’t help but notice his hands shaking. “Aww Riddle don’t be nervous. You sat up to give him some kisses on his burning torso. “It’s just a little dick-sucking,” you reminded. “I know but I’ve never done anything like this before.”

“Well, then I’ll take things slower if you need it.” You began to kiss him softly he was a beginner after all. The first few were awkward teeth colliding but cute as you shared drool. The next ones were better since you took control catching his tongue in yours. You broke apart letting him catch his breath.

His hands tangled themselves in your hair pulling you back in. You balanced yourself on the bed before pulling your hips over his. Now you straddled his lap and could feel his heat against you. Riddle pulled up your dress which caused a gasp to come from your lips.

“Are you eager now?” Yes.” You looked up to see a riddles face flushed in a shade of scarlet. “Fine then I’m gonna go back down here. You crawled back to his legs making sure to land in an arch. Riddle thought he would lose his mind seeing the peak of your ass on full display. You pulled down his boxers to clearly see his mental state.

“Aww look at you dripping,” you coddled. "You can touch it i see you staring." Oh okay," he hesitated. You felt a hand collide with your ass cheek. He rubbed the flesh gently afterwards although it was an apology. You were gonna let out a protest but his focused face was too cute to pass up. You let a glob of spit coat his tip. You scanned his reaction as it slid down to his base.

His breath hitched at the warmness. Soon your mouth would follow the direction of the spit swallowing him down until you gagged. You exited with a pop making his toes curl. "So how's your first time getting head feel?" Good now continue," he demanded. His hand pushed you down onto his waiting dick.

You felt it twitch in your mouth as your tongue followed every curve every vein its entire being. "Oh my god," Riddle huffed. "Your cocks so cute look at it shake for me." You let it rest and spasm on your cheek. Your face had become wet with spit and his pre but you didn't mind. "Taste so good baby," you mumbled. Riddle could only bite his thumb down in response to holding his moans.

Your hand left his thigh to assist you in pumping him. Your grip was strong bringing his balls to tingle. Your lips noticed as you licked against the masses. And it intensified as you juggled them both in your mouth. He looked down on you astonished at your sinful actions.

Your dress was soaked but you were only just getting started. "Change of plans I want you to throat fuck me." Riddle looked at you like a lost puppy. "What does that mean." After quickly giving him a rundown he got into position. "So like this." He asked while pushing himself into your pulsing throat. Your hand linked themselves on his hips bringing him to push himself even deeper.

Riddle let out a grunt at the sensation of you squeezing around him. "Fuck it's like you're sucking me in." You chuckled you'd never think you'd get to hear Riddle RoseHearts curse. His hips buckled back and forth drilling themselves into you. But you still felt as though he was going to be soft on you.

"Riddle here's your chance to ruin me, to take all anger and stress out on me, to manhandle me. You're a man right then prove it to me." You spoke while scattering cock kisses. Riddle scoffed he was tired of everyone second-guessing him because he was small. "While since you give me permission I shall do my best job at it."

His smile twisted into a cruel smirk. You could tell in his head he had felt as though he was back in charge of the monarchy. While really you were still the dominant you just loved getting throat fucked. His hands raced to grab your neck forcing you to collide with the end of his shaft. You felt his hair tickle your nose while you gagged heavenly.

Riddle couldn't get enough of the vibrations against his core and forced you to stay until he watched your eyes roll back. You coughed greatly after being freed but stars were in your excited eyes as the same fate occurred. You watched Riddle lose himself in the contractions of your throat.

He moaned loudly as he pumped you like a fleshlight. They became whimper and he let out mewls that sounded as though he was crying. It was music to your ears especially when his voice that was sure to go raw yelled "Y/n" a dozen times. If he kept this up your throat would organize his shape forever.

And you wouldn't mind as long as you heard his whimper audio. "So good I think I'm gonna." He tried to give you a warning but it was too late. His cum poured down your throat leaving you to swallow the best you could in the short amount of time you had. The excess liquid spilled down your face and his now empty balls. He finally let go of his grip which allowed you to move away from the monster that was his cock.

You had 100% slayed that beast as he softened in front of your eyes. You pulled the bottom of your dress down ignoring the wet patch your essence had left on his bed. "Now we both held our fair end of the exchange." You spoke your voice raspy while removing your dress and stealing one of Riddle's shirts.

"Yes if you ever need help again be sure to let me know," he exclaimed. "Mhmm I'd love to push things even further. What your mother knows doesn't hurt her Riddle. It's not sin if its secret!”

[writeforfandoms]

Waking Lions 25

Find the series masterlist

Well. Here we are, folks. The last chapter. The end of the fic. To anyone who's come along on this journey with me, thank you. Every comment has been squirreled away into a corner of my heart. This is my longest CoD fic, both in terms of length and time I've worked on it.

Whew. Okay. I'm gonna drop this and go have a beer.

Warnings: Swearing, kissing, allusions to sex, mentions of canon typical violence, morally gray characters, honestly if you've made it this far this is far from the worst chapter.

Word count: 1.2k

You pounded on the door in front of you, heart racing, unwilling to wait longer than you needed to. It had already taken hours longer than you liked just to get here, hours spent in airports and on planes. 

You'd run out of patience somewhere over the ocean. 

You banged on the door again, two heavy knocks, before you shifted your weight from foot to foot. 

The door yanked open, revealing a slightly disheveled and grumpy looking John. That look swiftly turned to surprise at seeing you. 

“Ace?”

You didn't let him ask, just surged forward, hands cupping his jaw as you kissed him. The two of you stumbled over the threshold, and you freed one hand to shut the door behind you. You gasped into John's mouth as he promptly pushed your back into the door, hands grasping your hips. 

“Not that I'm not happy to see you,” John started, voice already lower and raspy with want, “what are you doing here, love?” 

“You killed him.” You breathed the words into the scant space between the two of you, one hand smoothing down his neck to his chest, heart strong and steady under your fingers. 

John froze, looking at you, obviously inspecting you to see how you were taking the news. You gave him a moment or two to look before you kissed him again, fingers twisting into his shirt to keep him where you wanted him. The soft noise he made against your lips was just a bonus. 

After a kiss (or two or three, they all blended together), John pulled back, one hand on your shoulder to keep you from following. He licked his lips, still shiny and red from kissing, and swallowed. 

“Slow down, love. Need to talk about this first.” 

You thought about protesting, about worming your way closer to kiss him again, about distracting him. But you gave in to him, nodding. “Alright.” 

John breathed in slowly, wrestling his control back. He released you and stepped back, giving you room to finally look around, even as he moved down the short hallway to a living room. You noted and dismissed the signs of life - pairs of running shoes that weren't John's, extra jackets. 

You already knew the rest of the team was here. Somewhere. 

John sat, and you followed suit, although you resisted the temptation to sit in his lap. Instead you chose a perch in another chair near his. 

“You killed him,” you repeated, watching John more closely this time. 

“I did.” John tipped his head, watching you right back. 

You smiled. “For me.”

“For a lot of reasons.” John paused a moment. “But, yes. For you. Knew you'd know.”

“As soon as Kate told me how.” You shrugged. “Hopped on the first flight I could.” 

“To see me.” 

“Yes.” You leaned back in your chair, unashamed. 

John nodded once, letting the silence settle between you. As much as you wanted to move, to sit in his lap and continue kissing him, you knew he still had more on his mind. Otherwise he wouldn't have insisted on this distance. 

“Where does this leave us?” 

The question took you by surprise, and you blinked at him. He sat, still and steady but for the clenching of his jaw. 

“I suppose that depends,” you answered slowly, feeling through the words as you spoke. “You're still working, and unless you're looking at retiring any time soon…”

“Not yet,” John answered, softly but with conviction. “Still too much to do.” 

You nodded, accepting that easily. “So, settling down isn't in the cards yet. You'll keep working. I can figure out what my work is going to look like now.” You paused for a moment to breathe in, steadying your nerves. You weren't used to being this open. With anyone. 

But for John, you'd learn. You'd deal with the discomfort. 

“Obviously I won't be able to go everywhere with you. But I'll follow where I can. We'll figure it out as we go.” 

John was silent for long enough that you worried he was going to back out, push you away. Then he stood, stalking slowly towards you, every moment intentional. 

Rather than make you afraid, this excited you. You tipped your head back to look up at him, swallowing. 

“No more running,” he rasped, stopping in front of you. Big hands landed on the armrests of your chair as he leaned over you, boxing you in.

“No more running,” you agreed in a murmur, thighs clenching together. “No throwing myself in unnecessary danger.” 

John leaned in close enough that you could feel his breath on your lips. “If you agree, if you want this, you're mine.” 

You smiled slowly, showing teeth. “I'm already yours,” you told him easily. “And I will be whether you want me or not.” 

John kissed you, a low groan rumbling from his chest to yours. This one felt different. Like belonging. 

The warmth in your chest hadn't faded, even when you followed John down to breakfast the next morning. Gaz didn't even blink at you, while Soap did a quick double take. 

But none of them said a word, not after John glowered at them. You grinned. 

You stayed there with them for a few more days, until they had to move on. You couldn't follow this time, so you went back to California to figure out your own work. 

It wasn't easy, exactly. But you had enough contacts still to begin rebuilding. You carefully skirted some things, dropped a few people entirely, and ended up running more information. 

This time, you played mostly Kate's side. Having no loyalties hadn't worked for you last time, so, this time would be different. 

Besides, you wouldn't knowingly put out any information that could hurt John. 

You ran across Gaz in Austria and seamlessly stepped in to help him. Really, that just meant flirting with a couple people, drinking, and helping to loosen lips. Not a hard assignment. 

By the way Gaz restrained his laughter, you could tell John was not pleased. 

But the two of you got what you needed, and Gaz gallantly offered you his arm when it was time to go. 

You didn't resist, just tucking your hand into his arm for the walk. 

“How'd you know?” Gaz asked, seemingly in no huge hurry. 

“I didn't,” you answered honestly. “Spotted you in the bar. It was just coincidence.” 

Gaz huffed soft laughter. “You have a way of making the world feel small,” he murmured. “Should see about keeping you around for info.” 

You laughed quietly. “I wouldn't be surprised if they talk about it,” you agreed. “I'm not opposed.”

Gaz hummed softly. After a moment, he fiddled with something at his lower back. Ignoring your curious look, he turned down a street, taking a quick look around. 

“I'll clear out for the night once we've debriefed,” he told you quietly with a wink. “Let you two have some time.” 

You just laughed, shaking your head. “You're a good man, Gaz.” 

He just smiled and pulled open the door to the safehouse for you, ushering you in first. 

This wasn't how you'd expected things to go. This night, this week. The rest of your life. 

But you wouldn't trade it for anything, now. 

You stepped into the safehouse, buoyant with excitement and joy, not even a little bit afraid of what John would say. 

No, you rather thought you'd just found your newest hobby.

[spidey-bie]

Ansi & Hobie

–Part 3

Birdie probably created this to be something happy and cute while I'm sitting here like:

I love giving my OC more trau- I mean lore. This is going so well and nobody's even that depressed. Lalalalala 😊. Anywho.

TW: Suicidal Tendencies, Self Harm, Sex Mention

Scenarios:

Have they ever seen Hobie hurt? What was that like?

Just small injuries so far. Nothing life threatening. Even then Ansi has to remind herself that no matter how prepared you aresometimes things just happen. She has to repeat this to herself or else she'll obsess over Hobie's injuries too much and fall into past compulsions.

There was that one time when we were kids that I caught him with a razor blade. I had to patch him up myself because he begged me not to tell my parents. I wonder if he still remembers that.

(He does)

Has Hobie ever seen them hurt? What was that like?

Rarely is Ansi not in pain. It's just the nature of having a chronic pain disorder and he's grown accustomed to it. It's the days when he's having flare ups or really bad pain days that it shows on his face.

The first time Hobie came over to find them lying on the floor, (Ansi thought he had the strength to get down and grab something off the floor. She never got back up), he was really worried. Ansi assured him that everything was fine but Hobie still insisted on helping in any way if he could.

So now if Ansi is having a high pain day where she's unable to move she just beeps for Hobie to come over.

Have they ever seen Hobie cry? What happened?

When they were kids he was very emotional. He still is but it doesn't show up as much unless he's with people that he trusts.

Has Hobie ever seen them cry? What happened?

Ansi rarely cries. After being punished for so much as frowning he learned how to repress his emotions. (Unless they're using them to manipulate people.)

The most recent time was when they were catching up back at Ansi's house after reuniting. Going over everything that happened in both of their lives led to them both bawling their eyes out.

Has one of them ever made the other cry? How did they make it okay?

Probably. They've both made each other cry for a number of reasons both happy and sad. But I can't pinpoint an exact memory.

What's their highest moment?

When Ansi comes to Hobie's world for the first time.

Swinging through Hobie's universe while watching the shifting colors and structures around you is an absolutely beautiful thing to see. Hobie's crew was so warm and accepting. These are people who have to fight for their lives everyday and yet they don't let that take away their joy.

What's their lowest moment?

I don't know. Probably when they both realized how corrupted their worlds were.

How do they feel about Hobie's blue laces?

He could care less.

How do they feel about Hobie killing President Osborn?

Hobie doesn't like talking about it a lot. Ansi still really doesn't care because he doesn't have enough information to gather an opinion on it.

(Even when she does get all the facts she doesn't care. It's not something that affects her so why does it matter.)

What was their first kiss like?

Ansi wiped her lips immediately after and was like never again.

The kiss itself was fine it's just the sharing of saliva grossed me out.

What was their first time like?

They've never had sex. I've changed my mind.

Terrible.

For Ansi a lot was happening at the time. Her grandfather and her mother had gone into hiding after evidence of their crimes at Alchemax had surfaced. While his father had been accused of being the mole and forced into a coma. For Hobie it was the anniversary of the death of the officer in his dimension. (Going off of @cqcophobiq's theory) They were both depressed and drunk and they didn't want to feel anything in that moment. They both regret it and have no plans on ever doing it again.

(They both thought that maybe they were demisexual but spoiler they're both still incredibly Ace.)

Do they have a favorite moment together?

There isn't a big moment. It's a bunch of small moments that they've shared together that they cherish the most. The day Ansi first sang in front of Hobie. The first time Hobie read for Ansi when she was stuck in bed. The first time Ansi cooked and Hobie was the first to try it. And he ate it all despite her mixing up a few of the spices.

What was their weirdest date/moment?

There's never a normal moment between these two. They have gone on outings in some really strange dimensions tho.

What was the moment they were most angry at each other?

It takes a lot to make either of them angry. It's very rare for them to get into arguments because they're angry. Most of the time their arguments are just because they have differing opinions but they're rarely actually upset with one another.

(I tried I really did but they're both so chill. I can see them angry but just not angry with each other. Like one of them making the other angry would require something that went against their character.)

When was the moment they were the most terrified for the other?

Ansi is worried about Hobie everyday. She knows that he's capable of taking care of himself and that he has a crew to support him but unexpected things do happen.

Hobie is worried about Ansi because he's alone in his world. Ansi doesn't have a support system aside from the Spider Society and it makes Hobie anxious.

What incorrect quote embodies their vibe?

Ansi: Why does everyone keep assuming we’re a couple?

Hobie: [sitting in Ansi's lap] Beats me.

Also a more sentimental one

Hobie: I knew you'd come through for me. You always do.

Ansi: Well, you said, Trust me.

Hobie: And you did.

But if we're being honest it's moreso like this:

Hobie: What, is the truth?

Ansi: Nothing. Matters.

Hobie: No Ansi. You don't believe that.

Ansi: Feels nice doesn't it. If nothing matters, then all the pain and guilt that you feel from making nothing of your life, goes away.

One wants to give the other a surprise (sexy or otherwise -) what do they do?

Hobie prepares a bunch of Molotov cocktails to throw at government or abandoned buildings for Ansi whenever she visits.

Ansi will occasionally tape himself singing speaking, or reading when he or Hobie has a mission that'll require them to be apart for long periods of time.

One wants to annoy the other, what do they do?

Whenever Ansi is lecturing Hobie over something (mostly about personal safety since Hobie won't ever wear proper equipment) and Hobie doesn't feel like listening to the whole spiel about how he'll lose a finger he'll lift Ansi in the air throw him over his shoulders and run. Sometimes it works and other times he gets an even longer lecture.

Ansi will just lecture Hobie for fun sometimes even if he hasn't done anything wrong.

One HAS to sacrifice themselves for the other. Who is likely to take the plunge? How does the other react?

Please don't.

Siiiigh.

Now they're fighting over who's gonna die since they're both so willing to throw their lives away 🤦🏾‍♀️. They're both suicidal. They both will willingly sacrifice themselves.

Whether through pregnancy or spontaneous adoption, your OC and Hobie now have a baby on hand - what are they doing?

Y'know the dynamic of a stoic character who gets a child and now has a soft spot for said child. That's Ansi. He looks like he's chill and cool about it but on the inside Ansi is stressing.

WDYM you found a child. WDYM we're raising a child now? Of course I love them and am going to protect them from the world and teach them to be a good person. But still like a heads-up next time would be nice.

He's glaring over in their general direction all the time. But that's only because she's planning out what toys she's going to crochet for this kid. She's going to give this kid all the love and support that she wanted as a child.

If it's a baby or a toddler she's already trying to reschedule her entire life to see how her she'll balance her spider work with child rearing. He's also redesigning his suit to fit in a baby carrier.

An older child like a preteen to teen tho? That's a younger sibling now. Ansi is barely out of her teens herself she cannot see herself as this child's parent. But he'll still love support and care for them. The only difference here is their dynamic.

(She's gonna have so many doubts and anxieties no matter how old the child is. He's always going to wonder if he's good enough to raise a kid. Thankfully Hobie's there and she doesn't have to do this on her own.)

Hobie is INSISTING your OC give him a piercing. He's adamant that they can totally do it. How do they react? Do they do it? How does it go?

Ansi did most of his own piercings. Excluding the lobe piercings her mother got her as a baby and her septum piercing that her Aunt did. (He's got 15 as of right now but he does them spur of the moment.) So doing one of Hobie's isn't gonna phase him. Aunt May ran a tattoo and piercing shop so Ansi has all the tools she needs already. Everything goes just fine.

Personality:

How do they like Hobie's music? Do they listen to punk music or go to his shows?

She goes to his shows but she's not a huge fan of punk rock. He agrees with the message but the music isn't quite his vibe.

What music does your OC like? Does Hobie like it?

Grunge. Hobie also likes the message of most songs but hates how dreary and nihilistic the lyrics of can be for others.

Does your OC make music too? Do they make music with Hobie?

Ansi likes to sing but she'll only do it in private. He'll help Hobie with coming up with songs but it's gonna take some time before you get him on stage. He'd rather not be in the limelight again after what happened in his childhood.

Any exes on either side?

Nope.

What's their political ideology? Do they agree with Hobie?

Ansi's main ideologies are anti-consumerism and anticapitalism. Her main goal is dismantling corrupt corporations in her world, starting with Alchemax.

What's one thing your OC and Hobie disagree on?

Their methods of protest. Ansi's is more silent and discreet. He's been a public figure before and he doesn't wish to ever be in that position ever again. On the other hand Hobie's acts of protest are loud and well known.

Do they ever argue? What's that like?

It always starts out fine it's the moment when Hobie's voice raises that everything goes downhill. Now arguing with Ansi is like arguing with a wall. Nothing is getting through to her and she's standing there absolutely silent. He's absolutely fine until there's yelling involved. Which is difficult since Hobie gets heated over things that he's passionate about. Ansi's lack of a response frustrates Hobie even more which leads to him either yelling even louder or just walking away.

How do they get over disagreements.

They'll wait until they're both calmer and talk things out. They don't always compromise but they will respect the other's opinion and choice.

Favorite personality trait about the other?

Hobie's hopeful outlook on life. It's one of the things that motivates Ansi.

Ansi's careful nature and her ability to assess and adapt to unexpected situations.

Least favorite personality trait of the other?

Hobie hates how pessimistic Ansi can get at times. He's working on it but sometimes old habits die hard.

Ansi hates how reckless Hobie can be. Some of his antics make him anxious.

How do they make each other laugh?

Stupid stuff. Just plain stupid stuff. They're so.....irritating. Mostly they do small things to inconvenience Miguel. The last thing that they did was reprogram everyone's watches so every time Miguel entered the room Hobie's rendition of Fight The Power played.

(If Hobie wants to make Ansi laugh when they're alone he'll just start dancing. It gets her every time.)

(A/N: I ain't proofread this yet lol. I'll be back.)

(A/N #2: I'm back. My work here is done. It took me so long to come together with this 😭. I skipped some more bits and pieces of Ansiniya's backstory into this one.)

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[thevioletcaptain]

Tarot Time II: The Reckoning

Or; My Nice and Accurate SPNWin Tarot Shenanigans

So if you were following me last September, you might remember the day that I was overcome with a sudden urge to do a tarot reading for season one of The Winchesters. Given that I think it's always a good idea to listen to random bolts of inspiration, no matter how far out of left field they've come, I immediately shuffled my cards and got to work.

I pulled fourteen cards in total — one for each episode, and one for the season as a whole — and made an attempt at predicting the story direction and details based on what I saw. While my more specific interpretations weren't all winners, the baseline meaning of each card has turned out to be shockingly accurate and relevant.

My original post and the follow ups can be found here and here, but you can find a breakdown under the cut, followed by the new three card spread I did tonight... this got long.

First, here are all the cards I turned over for that initial spread, along with their base meanings, and how each card ultimately connected with the episode it was pulled for.

1.01 Pilot — Ace of Swords The pursuit of truth and the action of taking control. Both of these things describe Dean's role as narrator and the active role he's taken in his own story by delivering the letter, as well as John and Mary actively seeking answers. 1.02 Teach Your Children Well — The Hermit Striking out alone, stepping away to find a clearer perspective without outside influence, and seeking or gaining independence. The major theme of this episode as laid out by Dean's narration is the importance of breaking free from your parents expectations and living your life on your own terms, while still taking on the lessons they taught you. 1.03 You're Lost Little Girl — The World (reversed) Being stuck in place, being unable to move forward until you’re ready to take responsibility and free yourself from what binds you. This describes (quite literally) Mary's encounter with the Bori Baba, & turned out to be the key to freeing herself from the trap. 1.04 Masters of War — Six of Swords Moving on after a loss, picking up the pieces and accepting support, and trusting the onward journey. This episode was largely centered around John's PTSD and his feelings of guilt and grief relating to his friend who was killed in action, and a major aspect of this was all of his friends and family (and the staff at the hospital) trying to offer him support. 1.05 Legend of a Mind — Two of Cups Healing damaged relationships, forming deeper bonds. The heart of this episode was all about repairing the broken relationship between Ada and her son Tony. 1.06 Art of Dying — Three of Cups Reunions, friendship and support when it’s most needed, the harvest, things coming to fruition. We saw Mary reunite with Tracy, Tracy reunite (unhappily) with Mac, John struggling and being offered support from all of his friends, and Tracy having to reap what was sown through a past betrayal. 1.07 Reflections — Nine of Pentacles Unfulfilling abundance, dissatisfaction, the certainty that something is missing despite appearances. This episode sees the core four get a lot of things they've been searching for — Henry, power for the Ostium, more information on the Akrida. But none of it is enough. Henry disappears after a few minutes & John doesn't get the time he needed. The Ostium doesn't have enough power to absorb all the Akrida. They find out they're missing information about the queen. 1.08 Hang on to Your Life — Seven of Cups Uncertainty when presented with seemingly clear choices, looking for flaws before moving forward. Samuel catching the flaws in Loki's tricks. Carlos finding the loophole in the deal. 1.09 Cast Your Fate to the Wind — Eight of Pentacles Acknowledging the desire to move forward, exponential emotional and spiritual growth, working through issues, being proactive. This describes John and Mary deciding to be together after dancing around it in the previous episode, Carlos and Anton planning another date, as well as John's attempt to avoid the fate he'd been shown by being proactive about his "death." 1.10 Suspicious Minds — Temperance Testing the waters and moving toward healing, finding peace and balance. Carlos taking things slow with Anton, Dean's narration in this episode talks about how rare happy endings for are hunters. 1.11 You've Got a Friend — Eight of Cups Letting go of old constraints, looking to the future. This episode had a strong focus on the way Lata's past was hurting her and holding her back. 1.12 The Tears of a Clown — The Tower Breaking free, total upheaval of the status quo, letting go of the fear of change. Honestly... how much do I even have to say for this one? People were trapped in a pocket dimension by a clown named Limbo, and broke free by facing things head-on. 1.13 Hey, That's No Way To Say Goodbye — The Devil (reversed) Total release and liberation. We'll see in a few days!!! Season One Overall — The Moon (reversed) Seeing the light, anxieties being put to rest. Ditto!

As you can see, this ended up being a lot more accurate than I could have hoped as someone who had really been neglecting their tarot practice.

So even though I already pulled a card for the season finale back before the show had started airing, I thought I'd do a simple three card reading for 1.13 tonight, now that we're almost at the end.

The photo at the top of this post shows the cards I pulled for this reading, and these are the three cards, left to right:

Page of Swords (reversed) This card means trouble, generally in the form of a young person who stirs things up on purpose, tells white lies, or arrives bearing news of large-scale change that will result in challenges for those concerned. Ten of Swords (reversed) This card means that the worst is over. Forgiveness and letting go of hurt. Healing of physical, emotional, and spiritual wounds. It can also signify a refusal to accept an ending, and holding on even if something is over. Three of Wands This card means new adventures are ahead. Exploration, excitement, and looking ahead toward a world of possibilities.

The first card was drawn to represent where things will kick off at the beginning of the episode, the second to represent the core of the episode, and the third to represent where things ultimately land at the end of the season.

With what little information we have from the episode promo, I'm inclined to think that the "young person" represented by the Page of Swords is actually Dean.

Sure, he's technically older than his parents right now thanks to the Jeremy Bearimy of it all, but chronologically speaking he's younger. And we know he'll appear in the episode at least once because we saw that little flash of his arm in the promo as he handed the letter to John back before The Winchesters timeline began. Maybe the episode will open with that flashback, and give us some more information about what Dean is up to?

Dean certainly did come bearing information that resulted in major challenges for the main cast, and presumably did so while knowing that he could potentially cause problems by messing with the past. And he told a white lie of omission by not being honest with John about who he is or why he was there.

(I will add that when I saw the Page of Swords I also thought of Jack, so I want to jot that thought down just in case. The idea that he might make an appearance is honestly just wild speculation that has been floating around in my head for a little while based on nothing but a combination of vibes, themes, and intense over-analysis of a handful of AlCal's social media interactions, so while I don't think it's super likely, it's still pinging my brain enough that I wanted to mention it just in case. As I see it, Jack's departure on SPN was just vague enough that even though he said he was going to float off and turn into a sunbeam after fixing Heaven, there's absolutely enough wiggle room for him to still have a physical form if that's what this story wants to do. Mostly just noting all of that down here on the one in a million chance that he shows up.)

The Ten of Swords really threw me for a minute, because initially I'd been thinking of the episode's core in terms of, essentially, the bulk of the story. But this card makes me think that the answer I got has more to do with the core of the episode in terms of the heart, the root, the foundation, the focus.

Because the finale is what the season has been building toward, and back before the pilot aired Robbie said that episode thirteen* would turn over all the cards (yes, I'm having a sensible chuckle about that right now) and spoke about it in such a way that it feels like whatever happens in this episode, it's the whole reason for the rest of the show existing.

With that in mind, I can't help but think that this card has more to do with us than the characters. Holding on. Healing. Forgiving. These are certainly things we all see Dean doing through his narration and music choices, but it also feels a lot like what fandom (and frankly, Jensen) has been getting out of this, too.

Finally, the three of wands. I think this one is pretty self explanatory, and I don't think I could have pulled a better card for the end of the season. This puts me in mind of the Buffy finale, to be honest. The battle is won. There's a whole world of possibility. It's time to look ahead.

I'm still keeping all of my fingers and toes crossed for a season two pickup, but if things don't work out on that front, an ending that has this kind of energy is one that I think I'll be happy with.

[*Edit for typo: I'd inexplicably written episode three here instead of episode thirteen. It has now been changed to reflect the correct episode number.]

[ladylilah]

halloween jump scares featuring @dogmovesout location: halloween ball

It only took one moment. A singular second where she just happened to turn her head in the right direction for all of her delusions to shatter as she caught sight of the man that she would recognize absolutely anywhere, regardless if he was wearing any kind of mask. The way he held himself, the glass of alcohol in his hand, and every other feature about him screamed the Tristan Tramp that she knew. He was back. And though she had already accepted that as the truth, having heard both her brother and daughter’s stories of interacting with him, Lilah had still held out the smallest sliver of hope that perhaps it was all wrong - that he wasn’t really back and torturing her through all the people that she loved. But in one simple second all of that hope was gone.

Instead all she felt was rage. An anger far deeper than anything she’d ever felt before and without thinking, she was making her way over towards him. “What are you doing here?” The question came flying out of her mouth as she grabbed hold of his arm and bodily dragged him away from the populated area he had been standing in and over towards a more secluded corner of the ballroom. It wasn’t a smart idea - but Lilah wasn’t thinking at all, she was simply acting. And Tristan let her, following along with a smirk as everything he had hoped would happen by attending this event played out right in front of him.

“Oh come on. Don’t tell me that’s how you’re going to greet me after all this time? I came back from the dead for you and I don’t get any appreciation,” he responds, not actually answering the question at all. It wasn’t something he planned to discuss with his ex-wife, not when there was so much more he could be doing instead. “Tell me, how has your brother been?” It’s a shot he knows he will hit right at heart, no need for smaller digs when he had an ace right in his back pocket to use off the get go. He knew this interaction was likely going to be short lived, so he had to make the most of what he was given.

And just like he had hoped, his inquiry had Lilah practically shaking from the anger that was running hot through her veins like a burning fire. “You’re a fucking bastard,” she all but snarls, the words far fiercer than anything she’s ever said before. Though she had no clue what it was that was spurring her on so much, it felt freeing. It felt good to let herself actually feel the anger and hatred that she had been forced to bury down so deep for years. “I’ll kill you. I’ll fucking kill you again if you come near him or anyone else ever again.” It was a threat that she didn’t really have any way of following up on, but one she truly meant at her core. The logistics of how it would be done could all be figured out later - all she knew in the moment was that if he hurt one more person she loved, she was going to put him back in the ground. And ensure he stayed there this time. There wasn’t anything else to say after that and there were already a few eyes on them, watching and trying to eavesdrop from afar - and the last thing Lilah wanted was the truth of the night Tristan had died coming out, so for the first time since she had spotted him, she put rational thought first and turned to walk away.

For as freeing as the anger was for Lilah, she controlled it far better than Tristan did his. And as he saw the rage firing in her eyes and listened to her so easily talk about killing him again, as if she had no qualms or guilt over the last time she had done that, his own, far more volatile fury spiked. In the back of his head he knew he wasn’t supposed to do this - knew that his next move would potentially put his entire new life at risk. But he hardly cared in the moment, ignoring that little voice that tried to remind him of the deal he had made as he reached out and grabbed at her arm to stop her from walking away. His hold was tight and his nails dug into her arm for a moment, deep and hard enough to draw a small amount of blood, before it all backfired. It had only been a second, nothing longer than that, but it had been enough to officially go against the rules that had been placed upon his resurrection. And there would be punishment for breaking the rules. A searing white light pain shot off in his brain, causing him to drop Lilah’s arm immediately as his hands came up to grab at his head. A groan of pain escaped his lips as he bent over and closed his eyes. Whatever was happening, Lilah had no clue, but a glance around showed that they were gaining even more attention than they already had moments before. With the opening of Tristan distracted, she took that as her chance to leave and with her hand clung tightly to her arm to hide the blood and nail marks, she rushed away, leaving her ex-husband behind in agony.

[lost-onpurpose]

I was 11 when you came into my life. You were a tiny little baby with the sweetest face and most expressive eyes. You had been dumped at the vet clinic with your siblings, there were 9 of you total, but you stood out to me. You were hiding as far back behind a table as you could get, while your brothers and sisters were tripping over each other to get attention and love from anyone they could.

I fell in love with you with one look at your scared face, and I begged my dad to let me take you home. We were there with one of the horses and already had a couple dogs at home. Dad said no at first but he took one look at you and changed his mind.

The vet and my dad had to drag this heavy table away from the wall so I could crawl in and grab you. You were whining and whimpering and trying to run away but once I had you out from being the table and held you against me, you calmed down and starting licking my hands.

The vet had already given you all the required vaccines and we got you registered in the clinic under the name of Candy. You had scars on your legs from getting tangled up in a barbed wire fence but you were so sweet and loving but so skittish about new people and animals.

We had you for a few weeks before you slipped your lead and ran away. We searched for you all day and I cried all night because I was so scared that you were going to get hurt or run over. You never came home and I accepted that you were dead.

Then when I turned 21 and started volunteering at a local no kill shelter and not looking for a dog at the time because I was getting ready to move into an apartment. You were going crazy at the gate to your kennel and the staff I was working with was confused because "she just doesn't act like that." I offered to take you on a walk and play with you since you had energy, despite being one of the oldest residents of the shelter.

I was playing with you and you rolled over, and I saw the scars on your legs and suddenly I was 11 years old again, staring at your big brown eyes in the shadow of a desk. I recognized you and you had clearly recognized me ten years later. I asked the staff to pull your file and tell me what had happened to you.

Here's what I learned:

You showed up in an older lady's yard and she took you in. She had you for approximately 5 years and her kids brought you, some puppies, and two cats to be shelter when she went to a nursing home.

For the next 5 years you were at the shelter. You were adopted and brought back because they fed you with their other dogs on the first night and a fight broke out. You were labeled dog aggressive. You were adopted and brought back again because you wouldn't bark when people came in the yard. You were labeled too quiet to be a guard dog. No one else even looked at you.

You had been renamed Cleo but the lady who took you in. So Cleo you stayed.

I brought you home as soon as I could and you settled right in to the backyard.

We had some work done on the roof and the roofers left the gate opened. You were scared of them and ran away again. I stayed up all night crying and listening for you. I put your food out and left the gate open so you could get back in. You didn't show up again. I called Animal Control and left a voicemail describing you and leaving my number.

I went to work the next day and tried to hold it together. I got a call at 10:30 am from AC letting me know they had you. You had gotten in a small fight with another dog but you were okay. I told my boss I would be back and said I was bringing you with me. I was working at a vet clinic and they had told me I could bring you before but I didn't want to stress you out with it.

The roofers were there that day and admitted to the AC officer that they had left the gate open. They received a fine and you were given back to me. I got you a cheeseburger and went back to work. You went with me every day after that.

I moved into an apartment with you and Burrough, the FIV positive cat. I took you to the dog park and let you loose when there were no other dogs but gathered you up and left when someone else showed up.

I got Sulu later and you weren't thrilled with having another dog around but you warmed up to him pretty quickly. I couldn't take you somewhere without taking Sulu or he would whine and bark and whimper until we got back.

I eventually moved back to the family land and you slept under my house. You hated being brought in in bad weather so you had to spend bad weather in a crate, while giving your best ASPCA commercial audition.

Today, dad came in while I was baking cookies and told me you had died. I turned off the oven and hugged my dad as tight as I could and cried into his shoulder for what felt like twenty minutes, and easily could have been 10-15 minutes.

Dad buried you in the pasture shortly after that. I'm going to miss you so much Cleo. You were one of the best dogs I ever had. And I'm so glad you ended up at a no kill shelter and were able to come home after so long.

You were 17 years old, and I'm so glad that you were able to spend the last of them here with me, at your home.

[magicsunwheel]

Why You're F#cking Amazing

Pick-a-Card

How to play: pick one of the photos below using your intuition. You can close your eyes and meditate for a bit or just take a few grounding breaths while thinking of the topic. Feeling drawn to more than one is fine! You might have messages in more than one pile

Pile 1 (x) Pile 2 (x) Pile 3 (x)

My pile numbers always go from left to right, then down to the text row (if applicable)

Pile 1

Cards: The High Priestess, Five of Swords, Seven of Pentacles, The Moon Rx, Five of Rods, Ace of Pentacles

You are so intuitive! You're either very in touch with your divine feminine or are working your way there right now. Something about you is severe in the most beautiful way. You can take things seriously when they need to and the way you command a room with just your presence is unmatched. Maybe you're also a tarot reader or involved in spirituality/divination in some way. Maybe you really like Pick-a-Cards.

Something beautiful about you is that you never give up on a fight, especially when you know the end is worth it. Your ambition is strong and you will fight for what you love and what you want. You are not weak-willed by any means.

This also makes you so unique! You work so hard and put so much labor into your love even if you know it will take a long time to come to fruition. The times that you feel discouraged by a lack of results are few and far between. If for some reason you do find yourself wistfully hoping for faster results or an easier path, you can easily remind yourself of why you started in the first place.

You might have moments where you think of yourself as sneaky or like you're hiding a part of yourself from others, like your true self would be too much for them. I'm here to tell you that your intensity is exactly what make you such a beautiful person! You thrive in competition and in adversity. It gives you a chance to show off your quick thinking and survival skills. Others look at you with envy of how you can make an opportunity out of seemingly nothing!

If you need help improving your self-love, Spirit says to stop comparing yourself to others! You are amazing and beautiful and unique all on your own! Throwing yourself into the fray to compete against others who are nothing like you will only fim your inner shine. And you really do shine! When I asked for a card about why you are beautiful, nearly half the damn deck flew out!

Sprit loves you and I love you so please take care of yourself and keep making those amazing opportunities to improve your physical surroundings. (I feel like you have a very clean room/home)

Pile 2

Cards: Nine of Rods, the World, King of Cups, Three of Rods, Ace of Rods, Two of Cups

Ahh the Loona pile!

Similar to Pile 1, but much more fiery! You are resilient! Taking time to collect yourself before pushing forward with a renewed sense of energy and purpose is such an amazing and useful trait. You maybe aren't as commanding of a presence but you have such an inner strength that no one can deny.

You got the World for the reason why you're beautiful! Maybe it's related to physically being very beautiful and possibly exotic-looking. You might have very specific features associated with a certain area of the world that stand out where you live. You also have such a wonderful understanding of the world and where it's currently at. Things can seem negative or like hope is lost but you still seek out the beauty and share it with others. You see opportunity where others do not and feel a sense of peace and connectedness with all of humanity. Wow!

Your uniqueness shines in your emotionality and compassion. You might be a natural born leader who makes sure to understand all under your rule. You lead with kindness and, most importantly, by example. You don't have any desire to use you position for ill-gotten gains. Power to you does not corrupt, it solely provides a tool for you to do good in the world and really make a difference in the lives of others, whether it's on a large or small scale. You are probably the kind of person who makes sure to give money to those who need it when you pass a begging mother and her children, or buying a homeless man a bottle of water on a hot day.

Your card for why you think you are not perfect actually came out quite positive. Maybe you don't have a very low self esteem, but I can see a few possible scenarios here. You might be constantly planning in your head, waiting and watching for the next move to take but never actually getting to the action part. Maybe you're planning for your future and have so much planned out that you're excited for, but haven't made the practical plans on how to actually get there. This could make you feel bad about yourself especially on days where you're reminded of others moving ahead in their lives while you're still planning. Visualisation is very important in manifesting your desired reality! If you are moving slower than others around you, remember that it is okay to not be where "everyone else" is. Life is not a race or a competition. Taking your time to get to where you need to be when you need to be there reminds me of the story of the tortoise and the hare. Quick does not necessarily mean better.

You can improve your self-love by creating! Using your creativity and passion to make something! Create art, whether it's physical/digital art, music, writing, inventing, anything that uses those creative muscles of yours. It doesn't have to be good! Just creating something will help burn up that excess energy you have that's trying to rush you somewhere. Self-expression this way can be a wonderful hobby even if you don't consider yourself as a creative person.

Your kindness really shines through. You care so deeply about the people around you and your spiritual team cares just as deeply about you. You are loved and watched over and protected by Spirit. Others around you also see your sparkle and appreciate and admire you, even if they don't show it. Know you are beautiful and amazing and bringing a light into this world that needs to be here.

Pile 3

Cards: Six of Rods, the Hierophant, Four of Rods, Six of Cups, Ten of Swords, the Hermit Rx

Damn, who are y'all!? You've got some mighty power and pull in this world. Maybe you're a public figure or have some kind of platform, like a social media with many followers. You could also be well-recognized within your field of study/work. Whoever you are, people see you and look up to you. They celebrate you and how amazing you are! Spirit loves this about you and you really shine in the spotlight. Your achievements deserve all this pomp and celebration!

You are naturally authoritative. People listen when you speak and take your words to heart. You might also be a religious person or someone who enjoys organization and the comfort of hierarchy. People will willingly follow you wherever you lead them because they trust you with all their hearts. "A merciful ruler" (lol) You hold your position with grace and dignity befitting a king or queen.

You are unique in ways the public recognizes, but we knew that already! You might be someone who likes to entertain and you throw the greatest parties and get-togethers. Maybe you've planned a wedding and everyone had such an amazing time! You know how to relax and have fun when the time for celebrating arrives. You can out down your guard and bit and let loose. Not many people with such responsibility can let go of the reigns like that, but you don't seem to hold on to control too tightly.

Your past might be a source of anxiety for you. Maybe you're worried that what you've done when you were younger will catch up to you and ruin what you've got going on now, but it's important to remember that the past is the past. It cannot be undone or wished away. Taking time to accept what happened and recognizing that you've moved on to bigger and better things is important here. Whatever happened, take time to heal your childhood wounds and forgive past actions.

Ending this cycle will bring much more self-love to your life. Old habits and patterns being out to rest is the way forward. It might be a painful ending and something you don't necessarily look forward to, but it is something that needs to happen to clear out old energy and welcome in everything new. You can't expect to move on if you're still repeating old actions or ways of thinking. It's time to set these things to rest and evolve. Leave behind what no longer serves you.

Your understanding of yourself knows no bounds. You've taken the time to inquisit yourself and learn all of the shadows that lie there. Self-reflection might be a favored pastime for you. Through this knowledge of yourself you are able to see truths that many struggle to see all their lives. Your light can cut through the fog if bullshit and see the true source of something. Use this knowledge of yourself to become the best version of yourself that you can be! I know you're already on your way there and it's amazing to see! Spirit is so proud of you and loves you so much!

[roger-that-cap]

wildest dreams

witch!wanda x reincarnated!reader 

summary: wanda had walked around the earth for centuries with no magic and hardly any soul left after losing her soulmate. she thought that her lover would never return and that the only reunion they would have would be in the afterlife, but a run-in with bucky changes everything after he insists that he met the long gone y/n at a fountain in the park. 

yet another au by me... 

word count: around 6.5k?

imma tag one person bc she gets upset when she isn’t tagged- and idk if anyone else would actually be interested?

@teenwonder

also this picture is not mine, and the dividers are by @firefly-graphics !!

without further ado, it’s almost 6 in the morning but i give you this!!

She held you tight, fingers digging into your skin as she trembled above you. The rose bushes were rustling in the wind next to you both, the sweet smell of the flowers contrasting with the moment. You were halfway gone already, eyes far off but trying to swim back to the surface, wanting to look at her one last time before the inevitable happened. 

  “S…” you tried to say, but she hushed you immediately, tears falling down on your face and mixing with your own. You shook her head at her as hard as you could, begging for her to let you continue. “Say you’ll remember me,” you ground out, fingers tightening around her hand. 

  “What?” Wanda asked, voice already thick with grief as she tried to decide whether or not it was better to keep the knife lodged between your ribs inside of you.

“When I come back-” you cut yourself off by coughing up blood, and Wanda didn’t even wince when it splattered on her cheek. “Back for you, promise that you’ll remember me.” 

 “Darling,” Wanda whispered back, her voice cracking as she bent over and rested her head on your stomach for a moment, hiding her sob. She could feel her magic tingling inside of her; under her skin, in her bones, dancing on her fingertips. “I wish I knew- I wish I just knew how-”

  “Please.” You said, a desperate look in your eyes as you halted her words, already knowing what Wanda wanted. But natural magic was nothing to mess with. She sobbed again with her lips pressed together, no sound escaping her. You squeezed her hand tighter as the sun started on its routine descent, basking the two of you in an orange glow that you would have stopped to admire in any other moment in time. But Wanda would grow to hate that shade of orange with every breath in her. “Please.” It would always remind her of the sound of your begging, voice reaching for something that she couldn’t see. 

Maybe it was the desperation in your voice, or the way that she just knew that you were well within your last moments, because she looked up at you one last time. “Of course I’ll remember you, darling. I couldn’t even dream of forgetting you.” There was a wheezing sound that came from your chest as you cracked a bloody smile, and then you gave one last squeeze before you looked away from her, your soul settling in the afterlife. 

  Wanda Maximoff would never forget it. Suddenly, her previously  irrational fear of losing her magic became real, but that feeling didn’t even come close to the one she got when you grew lifeless in her arms. 

Ever since you knew what a normal person was supposed to be like, you had identified that you, in fact, were not the normal person that you were probably supposed to be. Normal people didn’t daydream to the point where it felt like their bodies weren’t in the present anymore. Normal people didn’t have birthmarks under their ribs that aced and burned. Normal people didn’t feel out of touch with their world, like they weren’t even meant to be in the century they were in. Normal people didn’t feel like they were searching for something tirelessly, something just under their noses. And normal people surely didn’t dream of the same set of hands, same pair of eyes, or the same voice over and over again, a new setting every time, but always the same, faceless person. You either drew the same faceless person or rose bushes, and every sketch book you ever had was full of them. 

At first, you were sure that you were going insane. Every time you closed your eyes, you would see a flash of reddish brown hair, or the same set of eyes, or the same pair of pale hands. You kept seeing this person without ever seeing a face for nights at a time before you went to see a therapist, who just ended up telling you that worrying about it was only going to make it worse, whatever it even was. But eventually, you learned to get used to it. 

Acceptance turned into expectancy. You went to sleep knowing that there was going to be a pair of hands accompanied by the same slender fingers as always before you, sometimes intertwined with your own. You knew that there was going to be a set of eyes on you, watching you intently with no ace to go with them. You knew that you would hear whispers of the same voice, speaking so clearly in a language you didn’t even come close to understanding, and soon, you were craving to see and hear those things. And wanting to see them led to something that you never told your therapist; drawings. 

You drew nearly every day under the sky, trying to find different park benches to see the sun rise and set at different angles for inspiration. You loved the sky, moon and stars alike, but there was something special about sunrises and sunsets. Sunrises and sets both meant new beginnings to you, out with the old and in with the new, and each rise and fall filled you with a strange feeling of nostalgia. You were watching the sunset on a park bench by yourself, a sketchbook sitting on your lap as you held an idle pencil, still thinking about the way you wanted to draw the hands. The birthmark between your ribs started to tingle, letting you know that it was about to burn again. That damn birthmark. You dropped the pencil and scratched at it, trying to beat the annoying feeling at its own game. You cursed the mark, but your eyes didn’t leave the sky, and you noticed your heart swelling in your chest, faint despair in the pits of it, churning around like the middle of the deep sea. 

 You shook your head and put your pencil in your hand again, brain not even having to work hard at all to see the features of the faceless person who was in your every dream. 

Even before she ever met you, Wanda didn’t sleep well. She would toss and turn for at least an hour before she finally found some temporary, flimsy form of peace. Her sleep was always light and she hardly ever had dreams, which was customary for a woman like her at the time- an un-blossomed witch. 

It was hard for her to remember the time where she didn’t have magic, but that time certainly existed. It lasted nearly thirty years. She never aged a day past twenty one, time moving past her without a care in the world. She was stuck right there, no magic except for the little bit in her bones that was keeping her young. And then she met you. 

You were the person that kicked her magic into gear. You were her kindred soul, her other half and the power to her magic. Meeting you had flung her right into the world of magic and spells, things that she only watched others do, but even as she was introduced to an entirely different world, she could remember only really wanting you. Her heart and soul called to you far louder and stronger than spells called to her eager mind. When she met you, it all fell into place. It was an easy love, one that was never going to be disputed or questioned, and loved it. She was prepared to move heaven, earth, and the gods for you, if she had to. Your arrival into her life had caused her to finally blossom. 

But now, she had bloomed and flourished and wilted all the same, and she was just waiting to decompose. 

“Have hope,” was all that Bucky, a warlock who had been tortured enough in his own way, would tell her. “Have hope that something good will come to you, and it will.” 

She never had the heart to tell him that good things hardly came to those who waited. He himself was a product of waiting, and it had served him well. Before he met his other half, he was taken by a rival clan and experimented on with spells that were so far past illegal that they made the casual witch shudder. Eventually, he was broken out and the rival clan was defeated, but he returned to them as an empty shell of a man. But then, Steve came, and then the man was nothing but a ball of light. His magic grew to be strong and so did Steve’s, and together they became known as some of the strongest practitioners of magic in the world. 

 But what did Wanda have to hope for when you were gone? What did she have to wake up for and smile at when she knew that she had buried you hundreds of years ago? It wasn’t even about the magic. She couldn’t care less about the way she felt the energy leave her- and it was dramatic- leaving in a singular burst of light the second you left. She only knew that you were gone, and that was the only thing that mattered, and it seemed to be the only thing that she even really felt. 

Well, she did feel one other thing. Exhaustion. Exhaustion caused by the lack of you by her side. And exhaustion was exactly why she assumed that she was hallucinating when she felt a small tug at her heart, in a part of her brain that had been dormant for years and years. She shook her head and tried to take her thoughts away from you and the nagging feeling in her gut. 

“Oh, no…” you exclaimed, voice tapering out into a whine as you watched the ruined paper sink deeper and deeper into the fountain, a fist clenching at your side in disappointment when you realized how many hours were lost, just like that, and then even tighter when you realized that part of you wasn’t even truly upset about the time spent on the ruined art. You were mostly upset that you lost the only vision of the hands that you had during the daytime. 

You were on your knees, sleeves still all the way down as you reached into the water frantically, causing the paper to move even further away. You weren’t even worried about your sketchbook that had fallen open onto the pavement, more focused on the rapidly deteriorating piece of paper. You hardly even noticed the man who knocked into you talking, trying his hardest to make the situation better. “Oh, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, is there anything I can do?” 

“I mean,” you breathed out, taking the nearly disintegrated paper from the water and grimacing. When you realized that the man was fumbling to say something from behind you, celery apprehensive over the fact that you were upset, you took a short breath and turned around, giving him a small smile. He had dark brown hair that was cut short and crystal blue eyes that were striking, but you knew that they held thousands of stories by looking just once.  He was holding your sketchbook, and by the way he was gripping it tightly, you could tell that he had flipped through it for a second. “It’s just a drawing. I guess I can make another one.” 

  His eyes widened. You saw his jaw slacken and his neck stretch out, as if he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. He blinked three times, and his parted lips trembled for a second before he slammed them shut. You cocked a brow at him, your sadness about losing the drawing being replaced by a weak feeling of uneasiness. “Sir?” 

  “Knew it.” His face was clear from any type of emotion as he watched yours, and when you opened your mouth to ask him if he was okay, a grin spread across his face. “I’m Bucky, what’s your name?” You furrowed your brows at him, asking what the hell had just occurred without saying a single word. “I’m sorry, you just looked really familiar.” 

 Just like that, you smiled. You knew that feeling, you felt like you got deja vu far too often to be normal. You hated when people made you feel strange for it, you always had, so you tried your best to ignore it with him. “You’re fine, don’t worry. I’m Y/N.” You extended your dry hand for him to shake it. He stared at it for a moment, and then with an eagerness that made you smile, he shook your hand. 

“‘I’m Bucky.” 

  For a moment, you could have sworn that you had done more tha just seen him before. Could have sworn that you had shaken his hand, met him before, been at the receiving end of his blinding yet somewhat shy smile. It flashed through you warm and bright, and you cleared your throat before pulling your hand away and realizing you had held it for too long. You cleared it again when you saw something flash in his eyes, a weak smile lifting on your lips.

“It’s not her.” 

Wanda was furious. She was insulted more than anything, really, angry that Bucky could even mistake the light of you for someone else. She knew that you would never grace the earth with your presence again, and she was so used to the fact that she was going to have to die before seeing you again. And for one of her closest friends to try to convince her that you were back? 

 “She would have already found me.” And Wanda believed that with her whole heart. You had asked her so long ago that you remember her, like she could ever forget. Your scent was so flowery that whenever she walked past a growing garden that she smelled you, your smile was so bright that she saw it in the way the rays of sun came down on the earth. She heard your laugh in the chirping of the birds every morning, and she saw your playfulness in the running waters of the stream by the cabin. She could never forget you, because everything was traced back to you. And you would never return without finding her. 

“I don’t think she even knows it yet, but she is looking for you.” Bucky insisted, stepping forward and receiving Wanda’s burning glare while Steve stepped to the side and let it happen. “I bumped into her and she dropped her sketchbook. I saw her drawings- she drew your eyes.” 

  Wanda’s heart skipped a beat. “What?” 

“She dropped the drawing of hands in the water, but I saw she had drawn eyes that looked just like yours, hair the same shade as yours, even drawn the necklace you used to wear. She draws roses, too. I swear to everything above, it’s her.” 

She could feel herself getting warm, the sort of emotions stirring inside of her that had the potential to turn into a singular weapon. The thought of a rose bush made her sick to her stomach. “It’s not her.” 

“You forget that I knew her, too,” Bucky stated, and Wanda’s desolation was replaced by some ancient feeling of possessiveness. “I could never forget her face, and that was it right there. That was her face, without a shadow of a doubt, And her voice-” 

Wanda’s face curled into a snarl. “Stop talking about her.”  

“Hey, Wanda, take a deep breath,” Steve cut in, ever the mediator, but Bucky was hardheaded. If he thought something needed to happen, he was the one to push for it to happen, and he needed her to see. 

 “She looks the same as she did the day she left.” Wanda let out a choked noise. For a second, all she could picture was her lover dying by the blooming rose bushes in the sunset, ruining two of the most beautiful things in life at once. The third (but first) was you, but not even your horrible death could taint Wanda’s memory of you. You would forever be the brightest and most beautiful thing to grace the earth. “I got her number, we’re meeting at a coffee shop a few blocks away.” 

“Leave her alone.” Wanda said through gritted teeth, tears welling up in her eyes. When she saw the brunet’s eyes widen and his mouth drop open, she spoke before he could get a word in. “Just stay away from her, Bucky.” 

All she could think about was your death. The way you choked on your own blood. The way you cried and looked up at her, but still managed to smile. And as she was consumed by rage and memories, the only other thought in her mind was that she was yours and you were here, and that she couldn’t save you then. But she was surely going to preserve your memory from Bucky’s mouth. 

  “I know you feel it coming back. You haven’t felt it in so long, but it’s warm, right? It’s powerful. You always were the strongest, and you’re not dormant any longer. Stop lying to yourself and depriving yourself of love, Wanda. You know Y/N-”

  She saw red. Red as red as the fires that burned in the magma underneath the ground, as red as embers in a fire. “You don’t get to say her name.” She saw so much red, so much hot anger that hardly covered her sadness, that she didn’t even see the way that she had her hand out red coming from her palm as she lifted Bucky right off of the wooden floor of their shared home. “You don’t get to talk about her.” There was a warbling noise in her ears, whispers that sounded like her name, getting louder and louder until she finally realized it was Steve trying to get her attention. 

  “Wanda.” 

Instantly, she dropped her arm and watched Bucky fall to the ground, landing in a crouched position. She watched him catch his breath on the ground. She opened her mouth to apologize, to say that she felt terrible and that she had no idea what happened, what took over her, but she was stopped by the brilliant smile that came onto Bucky’s face. 

  “You used magic.” He said, slowly and steadily, not a hint of hesitance or animosity in his eyes or voice. Instead, he seemed more proud than anything. “You can’t deny this now, Wanda.” 

She was hyperventilating, the pain in her chest intensifying as she tried without any results to get the right amount of air in her lungs. She felt her knees hit the ground before she knew that she did, her hands covering her face as she sobbed into herself. Her heart ached, tugging in so many different directions as her brain fought to rationalize what everything meant. She had used magic,  and that meant that you were back, in one way or another. She was in disbelief. She was in despair. She was in shock. 

“I know you do, I know you do,” It was Steve’s arms around her, and Steve’s voice in her ear, and she realized that she had been saying I miss her, I miss her, over and over again until the words jumbled. “We know you do, Wanda. We miss her too.” 

But he didn’t understand. He hadn’t lost Bucky since he had found him. He hadn’t walked the earth for centuries after losing the only thing that mattered to him as an empty shell of the person he used to be. He would never understand, but that wasn’t his fault. In fact, she prayed that he would never understand. 

“I’m sorry I approached you like that,” Bucky said, crouching down and hugging her just as Steve was, enclosing her into a hugging circle. They were coven, related by magic, and just being around them made her tears subside. “But you know that I would have never said anything like that unless I was one thousand percent sure. I would never do anything to hurt you, Wanda. All I want is for you to be happy. And I know that I found her.” 

And how could he want anything but the best for her? He knew her just as much as Steve did. Just as much as she probably knew herself. He and Steve were the ones who stormed the coven that took you from her by her side, and they were the ones that helped her send them to their graves. They supported her through thick and thin, through revenge and peace, and mostly, they loved you almost as much as she did. Why would Bucky lie? 

Wanda blinked, staring down at her hands in fear and wonder as her heart beat started to get away from her. Steve’s warm hand landed on her shoulder, and she flinched from the sudden touch after such a rush of power. 

“I think you should go with him, Wanda.” Her heavy breathing was all that filled the air for a moment. “Just take a look at her from outside so you can leave if he was wrong without anyone knowing, but you should at least try. I think Buck’s right.” 

Wanda’s breaths were still labored. Her hands trembled as she moved hair from her eyes, and her lip quivered before she found the strength to mutter a few words. “Will she- will she remember?” 

“I think she will,” Steve said softly. “But she’s probably just a human. It may take more than just seeing you for her to remember everything.” 

 Her eyes were wet with tears, and her heart was so big with warmth and need that she was scared that it would burst open at the seams. But she was even more terrified to lose the idea of you. Slowly and shakily, she nodded, her head bobbing up and down as she sealed her own fate. “I’ll go.” She saw Steve give her his fatherly and supportive smile, small yet full. “I’ll see her.” 

You didn’t know how you were gently swindled into giving Bucky your number. You knew that it was nothing but friendly, but he was so charming that you felt like you could never not know him. In fact, it felt like you already did know him. He said something about maybe commissioning an artwork of yours, and of course that excited you. You were going to meet him at a coffee shop, in a public place even though you weren’t the slightest bit afraid of him. But something felt different. 

 It started once you got into your car. You were driving to get to the shop when tingles came down your spine, and bumps raised on your arms, like someone was whispering against your skin. You started to feel warmth come and go in waves, brushing against your mind and then retreating again. You shook off all of the strong feelings as you turned your car off, parked in front of the coffee shop while the music from your speakers filled the silence, soft piano music that was perfect for the weather. 

  It was drizzling, the kind of weather that you liked to call a “lover’s drizzle” because of how often it was seen in romantic scenes. Scenes of confession, of reunion, of desperation between two lovers- more often than not, they had the mild rain to stand in. You turned the music down before shutting your car off and then stepping out, closing the door and locking it immediately before walking briskly to the entrance of the coffee shop with your recent drawings in hand. 

 Bucky wasn’t there when you arrived. In fact, hardly anyone was there besides the few employees, who smiled at you when you entered but otherwise fell back into conversation amongst themselves, which was fine with you. There was one beefy blonde man who was sitting with a laptop and a ball cap on. He glanced up for a moment and then took a double take, blinking hard at you with a star struck look on his face, and then he shot his gaze back down and went back to typing.

You sat down at a table for two, the only type of table that was there besides the long, awkward study tables that they had set up in the center of the room. You would much rather take the intimate setting of a two-seater than to sit in the middle of the shop, so you did just that. You flipped through your work, looking at it closely now that you had the time. He had mentioned something about possible portrait work for a friend of his, so you naturally brought most of the drawings that you had done with hands, arms, eyes, hair, nearly everything that was the closest to your heart. You rested your palm on top of them and watched your fingers trace the slender ones that you had drawn in what felt like by memory at the time, like you were just remembering the way an old friend’s hands used to look. You peeled that one back and looked into the eyes, the strangest and prettiest light green color that made your heart pound every time you looked at it. You took a deep breath in.

  “That’s gorgeous.” You jumped in your seat as the chair in front of you pulled out from under the table, and there was the charming brunet that you had met by the fountain, giving you the same welcoming smile that he first granted you. You smiled back without hesitation, your heart warming at the sight. “You sure can draw.” 

  “I try,” you joked, your grin nearly splitting your face. “Do you drink coffee?” 

“Nah,” he said, shrugging his shoulders. “But I like tea, though.” You gave him a thoughtful look. 

“Are you into herbal healing?” 

You could have sworn that there was some sort of excitement in his eyes, but you weren’t sure enough by the time he opened his mouth again. “Yes, actually! What, does it look like I’m into it?” 

“No,” you answered, and it was true. Bucky was huge. He had the kind of build that intimidated other guys at the gym, the kind that made athletes jealous. He looked like the typical meathead, but he was sweeter than you could have imagined. But he looked nothing like a man who would be into herbal healing. “Just a guess.” 

“Pretty good guess,” he mused, and you grinned back. Your head was in the clouds of some strange deja vu when he asked you if you wanted something, and the entire exchange of whether or not you were going to pay was on the back burner as you sifted through your thoughts. By the time he came back, you noticed that you must have told him that you liked hot chocolate, and that he must have paid. You scolded him before he sat back down, waving you off. It was silent for a few moments as you looked out of the window, the rain still steadily working through the atmosphere. The cup was comfortingly warm. 

“Can I ask you something?” 

  With any other man, you would have immediately told him no, or at least have your guard up. But there was just something deep down, so buried that it was faint, but it was there, that told you that he was nowhere even close to being a threat. “Yes.”

 He nodded, taking a sip of his tea and then putting his cup down gently before giving you an intense look. “Who’s the girl?”  

You frowned. “What girl?” 

He raised a singular brow. “The one you draw.” 

Your breath hitched in your throat. You blinked twice, and then tilted your head to the side. “I don’t draw just one person,” you said slowly, the lie dragging its way out of your mouth and through your teeth. “They’re different people.” 

“Oh,” he said, but the smirk on his face told you that he knew you were lying to him and to yourself. You sipped your drink and something tugged at you, telling you to look out of the window and into the rain again, just one more time before you spilled your guts about seeing things- and then something caught your eye. A flash of a familiar reddish-brown. You turned your full body to look that way, and once you did, you nearly dropped your cup. 

  There was a woman staring back at you, eyes wide and full of so much emotion that the artist in you wanted to rush to make an unworthy attempt at capturing it. Her lips were parted in pure shock, but you were watching them tremble even from far away. She was getting slightly damp in the rain, but she stood there like it didn’t even matter, just locking eyes with you and sending your heart rate through the roof. When your eyes finally came back to hers after looking at her for what felt like the quickest eternity, you gasped. You knew those eyes. 

  If you weren’t so deep into gazing at the woman stuck behind the glass, you would have noticed the pleased and content look on Bucky’s face, and the look that he gave the big blond sitting with a ball cap on all by himself. You would have noticed the way that the blond man was turning his body towards your table, watching with the same amount of anticipation as Bucky was. You tried to understand why she looked so familiar, why she was scratching the part of your brain that always tried to convince you that you were much older than twenty something- and then it hit you. 

  You had been drawing this woman. And you had been thinking about her ever since you knew how to think. It was just the first time you were ever seeing the full picture. “I-” you muttered, eyes stuck on her and the way she looked like she was about to topple over from emotions. The words got stuck in your own throat as you weakly tried to get your mind to take you back to the conversation. “I- excuse me. I have to- I’ll be back- excuse me.” Your chair made a loud noise as you stood from the table in a haste, pushing the door open and walking towards the woman who was still standing on the sidewalk, dumbstruck. 

Before you even knew you were outside and into the rain, you were standing not even four steps away from the woman, who was now looking at you with an incomprehensible look on her face. You couldn’t even feel the rain on you. All you could feel was her gaze and the warmth that was settling in your stomach and chest, and the same intense familiarity that was hitting you when you looked at Bucky. But it was so much stronger. 

“I-” you frowned, taking a step closer and resisting the urge to reach out and touch her. “Do I know you? Have we met?” You had to have met. You had seen her in your sleep, in your daydreams, in your sketchbook. And still, you never could have imagined how beautiful she was. 

She was silent. 

“I know this is random and that I just bum rushed you, but, did we go to school together or something?” You were embarrassed. You had never begged someone to remember you before, but this woman was different. She hadn’t said a word to you, and you didn’t even know her name, but you were enraptured. You swore you knew her. You swore you saw her eyes glaze over for a second. 

“You really don’t remember, do you?” Her voice struck something familiar in your chest, something warm and comforting. It was so familiar, so far back in your memory that it felt like home. Her accent, her inflection, the way she spoke slowly yet deliberately. It was all there in your mind, but you just couldn’t figure out how you knew it so well. “You don’t remember who I am?” 

 That had you closing your mouth. You tilted your head to the side at what could have been a hostile question, but her tone made it sad. Did you forget a high school friend? “Oh, um, I know you from somewhere, but I can’t really-” 

 “Think.” The desperation in her voice made your knees shake. If she were anyone else, you would have told her to go away, but you couldn’t. You didn’t want her to go away. But you couldn’t quite place her either, even though your own heart was screaming at you to remember. 

  “I’m sorry,” you said, a hurt expression on your face. You braved yourself to leave, taking a deep breath and giving her a weak smile that embarrassed you even further. “This was weird of me. I’ll just-” 

 She was reaching for you. Time started to run slower as her pale arm extended towards you, long fingers that you had committed to memory and to paper a thousand times outstretched. Your mouth dropped open ever so slightly as you stood in place for a second, body still until you subconsciously leaned forward, your nerves buzzing under your skin. 

  For a second, the only thing you could do was look at the point where her skin touched yours. 

  You had seen magic before. You had seen it in movies and at theme parks and when miracles happened, but nothing ever like when her skin touched yours. You swore that the warmth that your body had been feeling kicked in even stronger, surrounding you in comfort. Her hand was wrapped around your arm, gentle yet begging, firm yet wishing all the same for something you couldn’t quite see yet. You looked up and into her eyes, the eyes you had drawn and seen so many times, and then you saw it. 

   You saw it in more than flashes. They were coming in at the speed of light, but somehow you were able to catch every moment and every feeling that came along. You heard her voice as clear as day, ringing with laughter. You saw the two of you attempting to skip stones. You saw her enchanting your stones behind your back to make you think you had actually done it. You saw her mouth brushing over your cheeks, your mouth, your forehead. You could feel her hands on you, holding you, protecting you, cherishing you all the same. You could remember the way that you felt when you saw her standing in traditional witch’s clothing, being inducted into her coven as a blossomed witch. You saw everything and nothing, and you remembered it all. 

Wanda. 

A strangled sound escaped your body, so feral that it scared you, but you didn’t care. You pulled her forward, your head clashing against her chest. You could feel her shaking, like she wanted nothing more than to hold you just as tightly, but she was hesitating. “Wanda,” you called out, hugging her tighter, and then, like something in the universe stretched too far and then snapped right back into place, she was returning the embrace. 

  “I thought I had lost you forever,” she said, her voice hollow yet so full, so expressive. “I lost you, darling.” 

  The memories were all there, like all it took was a touch, but you were still coping with the knowledge. You had been murdered. Murdered by witch hunters, way back when witches were known and feared. That had to have been hundreds of years ago, you knew it. But still, your focus was on Wanda. It always would be on Wanda, forever and always. Just like hers was on you. 

“You didn’t,” you managed to say, your own voice thick with emotion as you buried your face into her neck, finally feeling the texture of the hair that you tried so hard to get right. “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere ever again.” 

“I’m sorry,” she said, suddenly sobbing in your arms. You had no idea how you weren’t being interrupted in the crowded streets, but when you took a look back inside of the cafe to see the men who you so clearly remembered as Steve and Bucky, you knew it had something to do with them and their fulfilled smiles. “I wasn’t able to save you. I let you die, and I’m so sorry, darling. I’m so sorry.” 

  Her words brought you back to the present. “Wanda, no. No, no, no.” You wanted to pull away and look at her face, but the second you started to, she held onto you even tighter. You leaned your head back onto her chest. “It wasn’t your fault. There was no way any of us could have known, and no way that you could have saved me. It was beyond us.” 

  “Nothing should have ever been beyond us.” She argued softly. “I’m so sorry.” 

“But it was,” you said. “And now it’s behind us. Don’t apologize, Wanda.” You wiggled around and got free enough to look up at her teary face. “I may not have recognized you, but now that I do, I can’t believe that I ever forgot you.”

   “A new life will do that to you.” 

“Is it really a new life if I remember everything?” You said softly, the rain long gone as you stood with each other, bodies nearly molded together with how close you were. 

  She pulled away to look down at you, her eyes and overall expression tense, and then there was a look that you recognized from a long time ago. It was a look of sweet desire. You closed the cap between the two of you, pressing your lips to hers in a way that proved that you were both two lost souls who had wandered their way back to their other halves. 

“It can be whatever you want it to be, darling.” Her lips brushed your again, soft and tender and eager for more touch. “As long as you let me be in it.” 

[writemyaceattorneys]

hi! ohh could i request for some yandere miles headcanons

Of course you can anon! One set of Yandere Miles Headcanons coming right up for you! I hope that you enjoy them, I know I sure will and I’m the one writing them! 🤣🤣🤣🤣. Also feel free to ID yourself and give your preferred pronouns if you want to and I’ll add you to my anon list :)

I do apologise that these are a bit all over the place, I really just talk about things as and when they come to mind so I hope that these aren’t too confusing.

Spoilers: Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Trilogy, ‘The Dark Age of the Law’

TW: Obsessive and Possessive Behaviours, Controlling Behaviours, Abuse of Power

♟Miles Edgeworth♟

♟ Just like what I said in my normal Miles Edgeworth headcanons, Miles Edgeworth is absolutely inexperienced when it comes to romance and would probably find it very hard to deal with these sudden and very intense feelings that are caused by being around S/O for long periods of time.

♟ It would be very much within Miles’ nature to try and avoid S/O as much as he can, keeping them at arm’s length in order to try and limit these feelings so that they do not further develop. He already feels deeply ashamed of himself for feeling so intensely about one person and after spending the entirety of his adolescence and a good amount of his adult life wanting to impress his mentor, he isn’t the best equipped to try and work on these feelings.

♟ His feelings would probably be made more intense if S/O refuses to take his distance as a hint that he wants to stay away from them. S/O might see their persistence as necessary to get Miles to open up to new people, but these good intentions will only cause him to fall more and more in love with them over a period of several months,

♟ Miles is definitely the type of person to try and interfere in his S/O’s life as unobtrusively as possible. It wouldn’t be his intention to completely smother S/O, although he would see it as his duty to make sure that they are looked after and protected from any form of threat. If S/O was in a position where they were financially insecure, he’d send them money anonymously and offer them a job at the Prosecutor’s office to stay afloat.

♟ As S/O becomes a lot closer to him, he might start pushing the boundaries a bit in terms of his involvement in their personal life. Performing his own background checks on their friends and family and secretly interfering in their romantic pursuits if their choice in partners doesn’t meet his very high standards. S/O wouldn’t be surprised to see an order for them to work some overtime on the night that they are going on a date.

♟ If S/O were to ever confront Miles about his strange behaviours and actions in the last few months, he’d be quick to shut them down. It’s his job to argue his point in court and he’d be very quick to dismiss their ‘evidence’ of his meddling as ridiculous. He would rationalise his actions as necessary in keeping those that are considered close to him safe.

♕ “There are people out there who are looking for any excuse to get to me by using those that I closely associate with, I am only looking to keep those people away from you.”

♟ Miles would only ever kidnap S/O as the last resort. He knows that he would be causing more damage than anything by forcing S/O to stay trapped within his home. He would be more likely to kidnap his S/O during the Dark Age of the Law, as he would be in the front seats as California’s Legal system seemed to break down before his own eyes and that’s only because he wouldn’t want anything to happen to them, lest some corrupt defence attorney or prosecutor get involved with their case.

♟ If anyone were to actually threaten S/O or someone made an attempt on their life, Miles would absolutely strike down on them with the full force of the law. His desire to get a guilty verdict above anything else would absolutely make a return. He would use every weapon in his arsenal to ensure that the person who tried to put his S/O at risk would be sent down for a very long time.

♟ Once the criminal got the guilty verdict that they deserved, he’d do something very uncharacteristic of himself and swoop S/O into a tight hold. His fear of losing them for good disperses slightly as he feels them wrapped in his arms.

♟ If Miles did end up kidnapping S/O, he’d be fully aware that they’d probably be less than agreeable at first, thankfully he’s a very tough nut to crack so S/O hurling insults at him probably wouldn’t get them very far, or at least, he wouldn’t show S/O if their words were affecting him.

♕ “You are acting irrationally, my dear. I’m doing this for your own safety and I understand that it’ll take you a while to realise this but please don’t think that I am doing this out of any kind of spite.”

♟ Of course, Miles would be very hurt if S/O never truly accepted his love for them, it would only go to prove that his mentor had been right about the fact that love was a weakness. He would do everything within his power to try and gain their favour over time to avoid this happening, he’d try to provide S/O with as much normality as he can.

♕ Walking out in his garden with the dog would be a big thing for him, he doesn’t want S/O to go stir crazy by just staying inside all of the time, plus the exercise is beneficial.

♟ In terms of punishments, he would never lay a hand on S/O. People who love each other don’t do that and despite Miles’ lack of love experience he at least knows that much. He’d probably be delusional enough to think that S/O was acting unreasonably and would just keep them in their room until they had calmed down enough to have a proper conversation.

♟ If S/O came to eventually accept and reciprocate Miles’ feelings, he’d absolutely be over the moon! S/O would still be the one to initiate a lot of the more outward displays of affection, however, Miles would be a lot quicker to reciprocate and initiate his own affections onto S/O, so expect him to pull S/O into his arms after a long day of work just to feel their presence by him.

♟ Once he sees that S/O is happy with him and willing to stay, he would definitely slack on some of his rules about them leaving the house. He would absolutely still monitor their every move but as long as they don’t try to escape, he would allow them to readjust back into society and start going out more.

[mattsvn]

CHANCE BALL LOVE!

Pairing: Ushijima Wakatoshi x gn!reader

Genre: Meet ugly! strangers to lovers! Getting hit in the head with a volleyball!

Warnings: Blood, head injury, concussion, did I mention getting hit in the head with a volleyball? Food hehe, that's all.

WC: 2.4K

Summary: After being hit with a volleyball by the ace and U19 athlete, Ushijima Wakatoshi, you find yourself laying in the nurse's office, with a bag of ice on your head and a boy apologizing every two minutes for that terrible accident. As the times goes by, you realize that not only you were hit by a ball, but by destiny, and more important, love.

A/N: I'm so excited for this piece! This is a collab for HQHQ (now Anilysium!) The masterlist is here! I hope you like this piece! Reblogs are appreciated!

Life is made up of 90% causality and 10% coincidence.

That was what your mother used to say, with her hands covered with flour up to her elbows, while she prepared one of those delicious desserts. Possibly as a result of all her years perfecting her technique as a pastry chef, but, as in that, she considered that everything had to be planned, measured, and calculated.

On the other hand, your father was always talking about how fate made everything line up perfectly for things in his life to come in abundance, he would happily tell about the coincidences in his life, although the answer was always the same, a debate between the two of them as to what was the truth.

A skeptical pastry chef and a dreamy lawyer, a match made in heaven.

Whatever it had been, causality or causality, you never thought a hit of luck would be so...literal.

It was unusual for you to be in Shiratorizawa's volleyball gymnasium, if you had managed to get into such a prestigious high school it was because of the impeccable grades you always had, sports were not a priority.

You weren't afraid of balls, but, the way everyone was spiking the ball was about to cause you a headache, especially Ushijima Wakatoshi, the school's ace, one of the best athletes in the country.

"Why are we here, again?" you asked, your gaze wandering between the various players and the sound of balls hitting everywhere making the conversation feel distorted.

"Because they" one pointed out, to the rest of the girls looking around the court excitedly "want to see Semi Eita, the pretty boy with the grey hair" she gestured to the boy in the corner, slamming the ball to the ground unaware that they were watching.

"Ah" you replied, somewhat bored, grabbing your backpack and standing up. "Good luck with that, I have to get home early" you said, waving goodbye to everyone.

To leave, or at least, to do it in a faster way, the door that led out of the building, and through which you had to go through the court, was the best option, as it took longer to take the way inside the corridors. The only option as you made your way down the bleachers.

The only thing you heard, with your eyes glued to the ground, trying to go completely unnoticed was a "WATCH OUT!" that made you look up before you saw nothing but darkness.

"I don't know, Wakatoshi-kun, looks like you did kill her" a voice was heard in the distance, the light irritating your eyes if you tried to open them. Still, only because of your stubbornness, you tried to get up without anyone else's help.

"I don't think it's best if you stand up now" you heard a deeper voice, but you didn't know exactly where it was coming from.

"I'm fine" you whispered, placing a hand on where you assumed you had been hit with the volleyball, feeling a warm liquid staining it. It wasn't possible that a spike had cracked your forehead open, right?

Right?

"I'm fine, I have to go" as you stood up, opening your eyes, everything was spinning. An arm went around your shoulders, stopping you from falling back to the ground, firm, but at the same time gentle.

"You need to go to the infirmary, you're bleeding" the voice now seemed to be closer, a little more stable, but, no way did you feel you could even move without throwing up or passing out again, what the fuck had that hit been? Could someone hit someone that hard just with a serve?

The answer was yes, and the name, Ushijima Wakatoshi.

You barely felt it when, just like that, he lifted you off the ground, although it seemed that your body felt it. A piece of something, probably cloth or gauze stopped the bleeding. You kept repeating that at least they let you walk, that you were okay, even though, clearly, you had the symptoms of a concussion.

"Are you all right, can you tell me where you are?" questioned Ushijima, entering a room. You had finally managed to open your eyes and recover from the dizziness.

"I'm fine, we're at the high school" you whispered, looking at Ushijima for the first time.

Even if you had gone to games before, you had never seen that look on Wakatoshi's face, a mixture of fear and worry, accompanied by his pale face and a barely noticeable bloodstain on his shirt.

"You can wait outside, dear boy," said the nurse, slightly terrified by what had happened.

A couple of hours passed before they managed to let you go, after calling your parents and making sure you didn't leave the building unless you were accompanied. You didn't need stitches, and that was a huge plus, but still, you left the infirmary with a gauze pad on your forehead, some candy, and a chance to take the rest of the week off to rest, which wasn't such a bad outcome.

You closed the door behind you, looking sideways at Wakatoshi on the floor, who got up almost immediately, still looking scared, even his gaze lingered for a few seconds on the patch on your forehead, which reminded him of the fact that he had accidentally hit you with a volleyball while practicing his serves.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, looking disheveled, and as if he had done nothing more than wait in the hallway until everything was in order.

"Oh, don't worry, Ushijima-san, I'm fine" you assured, but it didn't seem to be enough for him.

"I'm so sorry, let me take you home to be sure you arrive safely" he asked, with his hands behind his back and his head slightly bent down, like a child discovered stealing the candy from the counter.

"My parents are here to take me home, don't worry" you assured, glancing sideways at the door, somewhat far away. "You can walk me to the car, if you like."

"Of course" he nodded, walking beside you. Up close he looked even taller than he was, his expression calm and his gaze fixed straight ahead, though, he seemed to have a doubt that would leave his lips at any moment "Would you allow me to walk you to school tomorrow?"

You looked at him with raised eyebrows, somehow, the sound of just both of your footsteps in the hallway was comforting, soothing. It wasn't awkward, or uncomfortable. Ushijma didn't believe in awkward silences, because to him actions said more than words, and, that a question shouldn't be answered right away. So, the way to the entrance was nothing more than waiting for an honest, and safe, answer.

"I got permission to miss classes for the rest of the week, in case the concussion gets complicated, because I have to rest" you began, letting again the calm silence take center stage for a couple of seconds. "Then I won't be back until Monday, but maybe you can come for dinner tomorrow?"

"If you accept that as my apology for hurting you, then by all means" he took the door, allowing you to leave before him, there was still a bit of a walk to the main entrance. "Although, I would like to cook"

"Oh, I didn't know you cooked," you smiled, looking up at him. Ushijima looked down, and, you could swear he was smiling too. "If that's what you prefer, I'd love to."

The rest of the walk was quiet, and calm. Ushijima said goodbye to you after introducing himself to your parents, and apologizing again. In the rearview mirror you saw him standing there, waiting until he didn't see the car to go home.

He was really worried, and it would probably take him a few days to stop being scared about what had just happened. He was even willing to be scolded by the coach for missing two days of practice, just to make sure everything was in order.

Likewise, even if it would be a whole day before you saw Ushijima, he decided to call you just before he went to bed. And at lunchtime, because doing it earlier would surely have woken you up. He didn't talk too much, he let you talk about how annoying the doctors at the hospital had been when you went to check that everything was okay, and all the boring time you spent there.

He called back as soon as he got out of school, to make sure the details of the dinner were ready, he would bring the food, and some dessert, and, you would bring the drinks. You had to convince him though, otherwise he would have bought everything, he would have even brought plates and silverware from his own house.

Wakatoshi took the job of bringing the food seriously, as much as he could buy anything on the way home, he decided to make something himself. The menu was simple, yakisoba, yukari rice balls with an egg on top of each dish. As for dessert, he decided not to risk it, and preferred to buy those box cakes that had been quite popular lately, and, some condensed milk truffles that Tendou gave him as a gift as, he assured, you would love them.

Your parents could be quite reluctant to invite a boy to the house, but, after proposing the idea that you could clean up the picnic table you had in the backyard, where there was a space convenient enough for them to peek in just a little to feel safe, they agreed almost immediately.

During the afternoon, the question you wanted to ignore came out of nowhere, could that be considered a date, and should you dress for the occasion? It didn't seem like anything would match a forehead injury, or that anything would hide it. The result ended up being something you would wear if you were going out with friends, simple, and appropriate for the sunny day out.

Ushijima arrived exactly at the appointed time, and, reluctantly from your parents, you opened the door without them intruding. Looking at him, you failed to understand the nervous feeling that traveled from your heart to the tips of your fingers, making them tremble. Standing with a bag in his left hand, his hair slightly tousled and a bouquet of flowers in the other. Yet another gesture of apology, right?

"Hi, I brought some flowers" he pointed out, extending them. Your hand gently brushing his as you took them, white roses with green accents that made the bouquet look incredibly elegant.

"I already told you that you didn't have to keep apologizing, Ushijima" you mentioned, taking the flowers. "We'll eat outside then you don't need to take off your shoes, but let me go get a vase."

"You look good today" he spoke out of nowhere, making you look at him even though you were already halfway down the aisle. "You look good in those clothes" he seemed to be trying to smile, but you weren't sure. You smiled anyway, grateful for the compliment.

You returned with the bouquet, which would now serve as a decoration for the picnic. You could feel the intense gaze of your parents even if they tried to hide when they peeked, or, according to them, "watched" that everything was in order.

"Are you feeling better then?" he asked, looking at how simply decorated the picnic table was but somehow looked incredibly cozy, with perfect tree shade.

As was now usual, Wakatoshi didn't talk more than usual, at least not at first, he wanted to hear about how you were feeling, and how many days you would be out of school, although you assured him that you would be back to your activities by next Monday, and that, your friends would take care of sending you the homework you needed. Then the questions about him began.

You learned a lot, how he learned to play volleyball at a young age, his interest in cooking but his almost zero ability to make desserts. My mother could make some, you laughed, drinking some cranberry juice in a wine glass, your father's idea. He told you about his new interest in plants, and his father's work out of the country. Even some good anecdotes about the volleyball team.

Dessert was something completely different, by that time, she started to excitedly explain his last game, and what it was like to be in the Olympics. Although it wasn't as noticeable, you could tell in the way his lips curved into a slight smile as he tried to find the right words to define how he felt.

Reluctantly, and after offering to do the dishes, you said no, keeping the bento boxes with the promise that you would bring lunch on Monday for both of you, and now a wide smile on his face, even when he had to go home.

The following Monday came terribly slow, with the only thing that made it better being that Ushijima had not stopped her constant calls, the day possibly delayed by dark clouds heralding torrential rain.

"You don't have to keep apologizing anymore, look, even the wound has healed" you said, to Ushijima who was standing at the entrance, now with a box of the truffles you had liked so much, and which he had now made.

"I know. But I'd really like to walk with you at school" he smiled. "If you'll let me.

"I'd love to."

Life is made up of 80% causality and 20% chance, and, although you wouldn't want to repeat the literal hit of luck you received, you hadn't wanted it any other way.

Going to the gym because your friends wanted to see a cute boy on the volleyball team, having to leave early because you had things to do at home, leaving through the door you had to walk through on the court, getting hit in the head with a volleyball, only to end up walking to school with him, fingers barely brushing, a tender kiss on the cheek before he left.

Eating now inside the house, holding hands, a kiss on the corner of the lips. Waiting in the bleachers for practice to end, a number one jacket covering you from the rain.

The worst way to get to know each other, and, somehow, it seemed you were made for one another.

[floofs-headcanons]

Happy Birthday; Scenario

Character; Law

Word Count; 1,248

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY DEARLY BELOVED !! Modern AU because there are ONLY good vibes here !! i’m writing this without hamfie’s permission pls don’t kill me ty ily

There was something incredibly lonely about waking up in the mornings alone.

When the rays from the sun peeks through the curtains, and the chirping of birds sound more like nails scraping against chalkboard than a daylight tune, Law finds it hard to get out of bed. It wasn’t the first time, and it surely wouldn’t be the last. Still, he manages.

The scent of freshly brewed coffee and the sound of Bepo’s pattering is enough to wake him up in the mornings, most days. He’s thankful that today is one of those days.

It’s 8:42 in the morning when he receives a text.

It’s from the group chat he has with Shachi and Penguin- it’s unusual for them to be up this early. They’re wishing him a ‘Happy Birthday,’ and it’s only then does he remember what day today is. Scrolling up, it seems this was the second birthday text. The first was sent exactly at midnight.

Why did you send it twice, he wonders sipping on his coffee and sending back a ‘Thank you,’ message. They respond moments later, saying how he’s too formal, and that they’ll be telling him happy birthday for the rest of the day- something he very quickly shoots down. Unfortunately for him, he knows his friends don’t take 'No,’ for an answer.

He doesn’t tell them how he’s secretly grateful that they were so hard-headed.

The weather is good today.

There’s a slight breeze, only strong enough to sway a few hairs, and the sun is playing hide-and-seek, popping out every couple minutes to greet passerby's before going back behind the clouds.

This is the time he takes the harness off of Bepo and allows him to run and play with the other dogs. Despite being so big, Law would argue that he’s never met a bigger baby.

“Don’t run too far,” he ruffles his fur, earning a happy bark in return before the white mass scampers off.

He could still remember the first time Bepo had ran off and gotten lost. It wasn’t too far away from home, not even a ten minute walk, but the poor thing was frightened, shaking near some bushes. Thankfully, every since then, he’s always stuck within view.

“TORAOOOO!”

There goes my morning, is the only thought that passes as he’s tackles to the ground.

“Shishishi!” Law would swear up and down that Luffy needed a leash way more than an actual dog. “Happy Birthday!”

“Thanks,” he groans, trying, and failing, to push the younger male off of him. Where does he get all this strength from? Eventually, he gives, and falls back on the ground. There was no use in trying to get him to let go, and he surely wasn’t going to do it voluntarily any time soon, so what was the point?

“Need help there, Traffy?” The snickers of Luffy’s two brothers ring prominently in his ears. Of course they were enjoying this- if you hadn’t told him that the three of them were actually adopted brothers Law would accept that they were all blood related.

“Get him off,” he seethes, watching as Sabo casually lifts his younger brother up by the collar like a cat. He only barely manages to regain his balance when Ace comes next to him and roughly slaps his back, grin wider than ever, as if he didn’t just give someone a seven-inch bruise.

“Happy birthday, dude!” Thankfully, Sabo’s a little nicer.

“Any special plans today?” The blonde asks, still holding onto his brother who’s desperately trying to flee from his vice grip to no avail.

“None,” he answers. His friends have enough energy for today that he feels like there wasn’t a need to expend his own. “I’ll take Bepo on a walk, visit family, then go back home.”

Despite his rough tone, they don’t seem to mind. “Well then,” Ace makes his way to join Sabo. “I hope you have a good day then, we should get going. It’s was nice seeing you.”

He rubs his back, half-heartedly agreeing with that statement before walking back to the bench. For some reason he felt like today was going to be a long one.

The door opens with so much force Law swears that the hinges would need to be replaced later.

“Big brother!”

He smiles, as he always does around her. “Morning, Lami.”

“Don’t ‘Morning, Lami,’ me! You didn’t respond to my text message this morning!” She huffs, puffing out her cheeks and settling both hands on her lips. “But who cares about that,” her frown is replaced as quickly as it came with her signature smile. Her hands reach out to grab his and drag him inside the house, Bepo and all. “Mom and Dad have been waiting for you! Cora-san is here, too!”

“Cora-san?” He repeats. It wasn’t that he wasn’t happy to see him, quite the opposite, but given the clumsy nature of the man Law had to wonder how, and if, did he get here unscathed.

“Yeah! Uncle Doffy drove him over.” Ah, he cringes, that explains it.

Stepping into the room felt stifling. Not in a bad way, of course, but the amount of love that fluttered through the air and glided right towards him felt surreal. This happens every year, but he could never get used to it.

“Law!” His mother and Rosinante both stand up from their seats at the same time. Lami dodges out of the way, moving to sit next to Doflamingo- how she could stand that man was beyond him. “You’ve grown so much since I last saw you!” The older male ruffles his hair.

“You saw me last month, Cora-san.” He moves out of the way from his uncle only to get trapped in the arms of his mother.

Her words are as gentle as her touch, and he doesn’t mind admitting that he likes being held by her. “Happy birthday, Law.” He gives her a gentle squeeze back.

Their hug doesn’t last long, only a couple seconds, but there were other people in the room, restless to congratulate the celebrity of the day. “Why don’t you come sit down?”

He would like that.

It’s late night when he finally arrives home again.

It’s been a long day, just as he had thought it would be. From visiting family to friends tackling him on the street, to getting dragged out to celebrate at the Baratie for lunch- there was no denying that he was grateful to have such supportive people in his life, but perhaps they were just a bit too supportive.

He barely manages to fish the keys out of his pocket when the door opens.

“Law!” A flood of calm washes over him. “Welcome home!”

He doesn’t say anything as he steps inside and takes off his shoes, finally releasing Bepo from his harness. You don’t say anything either, content with simply standing to the side and waiting for him to finish his tasks.

There was something so fulfilling about coming home to someone waiting for you. How they’ll greet you back every time with a big smile and open arms, urging you to come closer.

“I’m home.” He mutters, burying his face in your neck.

“Tiring day?”

“Yeah,” he appreciates the strokes to his hair.

“I’ve made dinner.”

“Do you mind if we take a bath first?”

“The food will get cold.”

“That’s fine.”

You chuckle, “alright.”

He hums, but doesn’t let go. Just a bit longer.

“And, Law?”

“Yeah?”

“Happy Birthday.”

[ddosie]

# 2 and soobin for the prompt please!

you wouldn't say you were the sentimental type.

things came and went. kids grew into adults. that was just how life was. people grew apart, sometimes closer, and it was all expected.

you just never thought you would have to face it yourself.

it was a problem that you had only read about in story books. the handmaiden watches the price she fell in love with get married. she moves on. the king lets go of the memories of his favorite knight. he moves on. the queen loses her son, her only son. she moved on.

they all moved on. so why couldn't you?

"class! class! let's start this school year by introducing ourselves! i'll go first. my name is ms. hilton, and i'm your english teacher for this year! i've worked at this school for a long time now, and i can't wait to teach all of you kids!

okay, now that i've done my introduction, shall we go along the classroom and introduce ourselves? starting from you sir, yes you with the white and black sneakers. please start by telling us your name and a fun fact about yourself."

you watched as the said boy stood up, pushing his hair back with his hand.

"uh... hi everyone, i'm soobin, and one fun fact about me is i went to Europe this year."

as the next person got up to introduce themselves, you found yourself staring at him.

jeez, he was tall for a middle schooler.

the sun is filtering through the blinds in your room, and rays of light are being painted across the walls. everything is a golden color, from the desk to the bedside.

"so... what topic are we choosing for this project?" you watched through the lens of your glasses as soobin furrowed his brow.

"do you think, maybe aristotle?" you nodded your head eagerly, so soobin stood up and walked over to the teachers desk. a second later he sent you a thumbs up.

"aristotle it is."

you twirled your pen in your fingers as soobin took a seat. "hey do you want to work on the project with me over the weekend? i know a really good café...?"

there was a small smile on your face, and you nodded.

"yeah sure, what time?"

you got up from your chair, grabbing a camera. in this lighting, the room was just too pretty to not take a picture of.

"y/n, for someone of that height, there is no reason you should be walking that fast."

you sent a small smile to the long-legged boy trying to catch up with you in the hallway.

"if you don't want to be late to class bin, you're going to have to put those legs to work."

you let soobin catch up with you, and you slowed down your pace from thereon so the two of you could walk side by side. soobin pointed at the trophy shelf.

"do you think we'll win this year too? i hope we do, yeonjun promised a party at his house if we get placed first."

you gave soobin a reassuring pat on his arm.

"you'll be finneee... if you win, i'll take you out to icecream after."

the boy turned to look at you, a smile creeping into his eyes.

"really?"

"really."

fiddling around with the camera, you brushed the light dust that had collected on the top off. you watched as the particles were swept away, dancing in the dying sunlight.

"we should do this every year."

you turned to look at soobin lying next to you, ice-cream sandwhich in one hand, while the other was tucked behind him, supporting his head. he was looking above, admiring the night sky.

"you mean climb some random apartment stairs to get to rooftops? and risk our lives every season game to see a different view of the city at night?"

soobin let out a small laugh. "yeah, well when you put it that way, it does sound bad." you smiled, lying down with your own ice-cream sandwich, propping an arm under your head.

"...i meant the icecream tradition. you'll be there for my next season game, right?"

now it was your turn to admire the night sky.

"of course. i wouldn't miss it for the world"

grabbing a tissue, you went to work at the camera, cleaning dust from all crevices and corners of the lenses. you were surprised. when was the last time you had even taken a photo on this thing?

"hey bin, what's up?"

grabbing your phone and placing it on your desk, you made yourself comfortable, ready for any facetime tea he would spill.

"ah, y/n..." you watched as he ran a hand through his hair from the other side of the screen. "i don't think... i don't think i'll be able to make it to your birthday this year."

there was a quiet silence. you felt like you'd been punched in the gut.

"if i can ask, um, why?" you fiddled with the hem of your hoodie, waiting for an answer.

"the schedules for the basketball game lineups just came out, and the final season game is happening on your birthday. i just wanted to tell you in case we do win that far and i won't be able to come."

you decided to smile at the way soobin had said just in case they win. the two of you were in your sophomore year, and he hadn't lost a game since middle school.

"yeah, don't worry about it soob. we can still get icecream after."

you felt a turn in your stomach when the boy gave you a relived smile, running a hand through his hair again.

"that's all i wanted to say, i've got to go now"

"hm? why?"

"chem tutoring. these freshman are horrible at science."

adjusting the camera, you zoomed in on random objects in your room. the bookshelf. your water bottle. the lamp. click. click. click.

“did you hear? that senior yeonjun will be throwing a bigger party than last year! are you going y/n?”

you shrugged. “when is it?”

“I think it‘ll be this saturday.”

"can’t. I’ll be out of town”

"for what?

“college. I sent an early application, and one of them reached out and wants me to tour the campus. if i go, I’ll have a guaranteed spot next year, and I probably won’t have to apply to any others.”

your friend let out a low whistle and patted your head.

"well when you put it like that, I guess you really can’t go… but maybe we could get something after the game? i heard the ice cream place was still open”

just like that, a mere sentence felt like a silent punch to the gut.

you looked away from your friends face, scanning the cafeteria unknowingly. you were met with the view of a senior tussling soobin's hair, an arm slung across his neck. you could hear their loud conversation even from where you were sitting.

"you coming to my house after the game? me and the guys we're planning to get some icecream and stay over at my house for the night."

you thought you saw something flash in soobins eye's before he smiled, nodding in agreement.

abruptly standing up, you tossed an apology to your friend about how you wouldn't be able to make it and you had just remembered you had some important emails to send. you didn't want to be around when the words of confirmation came out of his mouth itself.

so much for a flash. the last time you had icecream with him was two years ago.

adjusting the lens once more, you caught your eye on a ticket stuck between two books on your desk. you slowly pulled it out. it was blue and grey, your school colors. there was a hole punched on the bottom, indicating it was used.

"and it's the last two minutes of the game, and hybe high is in the lead! if they can make this basket, it will guarantee a regional win for the school. oh! there goes hyunjin... passing to donghyuck who... also just passed to eric who, jeez, passed to soobin...! look at that! look at that!! we are in the last minute everyone, and if captain of hybe high makes this basket, like i said they will be the regional winners!!"

you let the sound of the announcer wash over you, leaning forward in your seat to watch the game.

for some reason you kept coming back. to this gym. to the basketball games.

to soobin.

it had been over a year since the two of you had really talked, the last icecream run being well over three years ago (a promise to go before your birthday was conveniently broken), and the last facetime was to ask for calculus answers.

you knew that you had faded out of the life of the star basketball player.

you just couldn't accept it.

"and soobin gets closer to the rim... oh! it looks like taehyun from bighit acadmy is a pretty good blocker... anyways look at him go! we have twenty second left, and even if he doesn't score hybe is still in for a win... okay, okAY?? WAIT WHAT!! WHAT!!"

there's a loud screech of the intercom that mixes with the cheers of the crowd. you found yourself on your feet, fists pumping in the air in celebration alongside the students in the bleachers despite yourself.

"AND CHOI SOOBIN SECURES THE PLACE OF HYBE HIGH IN DISTRICT REGIONALS!! ONCE AGAIN THE ACE HAS TOPPED EVERYONE AND BRANG HIS TEAM TO VICTORY!!"

you held the ticket tenderly. on the backside was stamped senior, a marker that counted as a discount for the upperclassmen that wanted to watch the game. flipping it over again, you felt a wave of something hit your stomach as you took in the grey and blue.

"hey y/n, wait up!"

you whipped around at the sound of an all too familiar voice.

there, stood soobin, in all his six foot and one inch glory.

"you.." he panted, hands on his knees as if he had run a million miles. "you walk too fast. what's the rush? you were cheering for me so loudly."

there was that feeling again. of being punched in the gut. by that invisible hand that seemed to favor your stomach whenever soobin was around.

"ah, you know... just getting home."

you tried not to stare too long. soobin had grown, matured. the baby face he donned as a middle schooler was gone, only his dimples a reminder of the childhood smiles you shared together.

"you're not... going anywhere? going straight home?"

you gave him a small smile. "...yeah. i'm going soon, so i really need to pack. good game though! you really did good this time around."

"going soon... to where y/n? are you taking a road trip without me?" you sensed a wary tone under his teasing words. three years apart, and this was the news you would have to tell him. curse the fates.

"yup! im, ah... moving cross country. i got accepted a while back."

you could already see the question in his eyes. how far? which major? on campus or near?

why didn't you tell me?

there was a moment of silence while you rocked back and forth on your heels. soobin pushed his hair back, looking into your eyes.

the heaviness of a thousand unanswered questions weighed in the air.

"so... want to catch up over icecream?"

as you held the basketball ticket from senior year, you realized three things.

one: you were the sentimental type. you clung onto old memories and good times like they were life jackets, keeping you afloat in the mundanity of your new life.

two: you didn't really like the idea of always moving on. it seemed so easy in the story books, that after a couple years the queen goes back to her ordinary life, the king appoints a new knight, and the princess finds someone she truly loved. but was there a time where you would just stop caring? was there a day you would wake up and didn’t think about what could have happened, the if only’s and what if’s?

three: you couldn't move on. you prided yourself on being able to move faster, walking a pace before everyone else. life was a journey, and you were going places. quite literally. you were floating when everyone was sinking.

but you were only floating because you had your life jacket.

...

things came and went. kids grew into adults. that was just how life was. people grew apart, sometimes closer, and it was all expected.

you clutched the ticket in your hand, the end slightly wrinkled by your fingers.

you just never thought you would have to face it yourself.

[hxt1b]

Let’s Just Let it Go

Doyoung x Reader 

Genre: Angst, some fluff (it’s there I swear) CollegeAU (HockeyPlayer!Doyoung) 

Warning: MATURE CONTENT/DARK THEMES, drinking (drink responsibly please), SMUT, swearing, TW sexual assault. 

WC: 11k 

Song Rec: when the party’s over by Billie Eilish 

Accompanying Stories: As Long As I’m Here, Isn’t It Lovely All Alone. 

Masterlist 

Hockey AU Masterlist 

A/N: You do not have to read all the stories to read this one. You can read this as a standalone, however reading the other two will give a better understanding of the backgrounds of the characters so if you do read all I’d suggest reading the other two first. However, by all means this can be read independently you will still understand the plot and everything without reading the other two. Lastly, please excuse the grammar, I read it over but still some things may have slipped through.

“You keep condoms in your wallet?” You asked looking up at him. Doyoung’s head was swimming, but then again that much alcohol would do that to you. 

“Would you rather I didn’t have one right now?” he asked his words slurring. You shook your head. Doyoung smirked returning his attention to opening the packet and putting the condom on. He pushed you into the wall again, grabbing you from the back of your thighs forcing you to wrap your legs around his waist as he pushed into you. 

“Fuck,” He grunted as he began to move in you. To be honest, Doyoung didn’t remember your name, he had asked, but he couldn’t recall. You’d met a couple of hours ago in the packed club, Doyoung was seeing double of everyone by the time his eyes landed on you, keeping his steps stable was a feat as he made his way over to where you were dancing, drawing you in however wasn’t that hard. You were just as drunk as him. 

Your arms looped around his neck as you filled his ears with breathy moans. Doyoung was so far gone, his mind was empty as you tightened around him. A few more thrusts and he came, letting his head fall into your shoulder as he did. You stilled against him; he didn’t really know if you finished. But he was too drunk to care. After getting his breathing to even out slightly he pulled out of you. 

“Well,” He said as he carefully took off the condom, “Thank you I guess.” He looked around the bathroom locating the garbage can and tossed the used condom into it. With that, he left the bathroom not looking back at you. He was still stumbling seeing two of everyone one that passed by him. 

He laughed to himself as he ran into a chair. But it was better this way, he didn’t remember anything this way. Kim Doyoung could successfully say that he had just wrapped up the most unmemorable summer of his life. Unmemorable because he was drunk throughout the entire thing, but it was okay because not once this summer did Doyoung think about the girl that cheated on him. Not once did he think about Yuta, the man that he looked up to. The one that slept with his girlfriend. Nope, they didn’t even cross his mind. 

But they did. 

Every damn day. 

---

“Get up.” The voice pounded in Doyoung’s head and a hand reached out and shook him. He grumbled. Slowly opening his eyes, he glared up at Kun. He watched as his friend rolled his eyes at him. 

“We have practice.” Doyoung pulled his blanket over his head, he shouldn’t have drank last night. “Come on.” 

What a new kind of hell he’d entered. He’d told himself that once the hockey practice started, he’d be fine. He wouldn’t drink, Yuta had managed to graduate, he’d avoid his ex, the campus was big enough. He could still avoid his ex, she wasn’t even on campus yet. Only the athletes were here a month before everyone. But the not drinking once hockey started, that didn’t happen, so he told himself when the semester started, and today after practice the semester started, he would have to stop drinking and his ex would be back. 

He groaned again throwing his covers off of himself and getting up. His head ached with each step he took towards the shared bathroom. They had moved, this house was bigger but they still needed to share a bathroom, well at least Ten, Jaehyun, Jungwoo and himself did. Kun upon stepping into the master room with the huge en-suite pulled his new captain status on them and took the damn room. 

“You’re just waking up?” Jaehyun asked him, as he passed the younger boy in the hallway. Doyoung didn’t respond just walked past him keeping his head down.  

Getting into the bathroom he looked at himself, taking in his appearance, he had a huge hickey on the side of his neck, how he got it was a slight blur to him. He remembered flashes of the night only. His hair was sticking out into a million directions he looked awful, he looked sick. Looking away from himself he grabbed his toothbrush and got ready for practice, he was gonna need a gallon of coffee. 

Hockey was an escape, he could be as brutal as he wanted on the ice, he was itching for a proper game so that he wouldn’t have to hold himself back he couldn’t bang up his teammates. He needed a game. 

Well, it was an escape until the new guy opened his mouth. 

“Hungover again Kim, why am I not shocked?” Doyoung sneered at the man lacing up his skates as he walked into the change room. His hands clenching into fists at his side, but he didn’t reply, because he was hungover, and this guy was the only one that called him out on it. Because he was the only one that didn’t know. Yet, it didn’t make Doyoung hate him any less. 

What kind of a nickname was Winwin anyway?

Rolling his eyes Doyoung dumped his stuff into his cubby taking his gear out and getting ready for practice. 

“Ignore him,” Kun said from his left. 

“I am,” Doyoung replied. 

On the ice, Doyoung couldn’t deny the new kid was an ace, why he transferred to their school he couldn’t say. He used to play for the team that they lost to last year, one step away from the cup. But that school had a killer roaster, this kid being one of the beasts on it, but here he was. Skating towards Doyoung with the puck. Their coach was ending this practice with a scrimmage, the hockey season would be starting in a few days and the coach claimed that this would re-charge everyone’s competitive sides because this was their season. 

He let him get close before he began his chase, letting Winwin come to him before blocking his path he hit him into the boards. It wasn’t a hard hit, but it was a hit. They both lost the puck as Winwin bounded off the plexiglass and slammed his hands into Doyoung’s chest. 

“What the fuck man?!” He asked. Doyoung shrugged, their coach was yelling as he skated over. Kun already there grabbing Winwin as he glared at Doyoung. 

“What on earth are you doing kid?” The coach barked at Doyoung. 

“Sorry I just got into it.” He said not feeling sorry at all. Maybe he wasn’t doing the best job of ignoring him. 

“Apologize to him.” He mentally scowled, he didn’t appreciate being treated like he was a toddler. 

“Sorry.” 

“Okay get off the ice, shower. Practice is over!” 

“Dude you gotta relax.” Ten said skating next to Doyoung. 

“Why the fuck do they even call him Winwin?” Doyoung’s irritation was evident “I fucking hate the guy.

“It’s because he fucking Wins, they use to call him their lucky charm ‘Winwin.’” 

--- 

Loneliness was a part of life that you accepted long ago, it was something that just came with your life. Your parents were rich, and they shouldn't have had kids, because they couldn’t give two shits about the two children they had. So, loneliness wasn’t an issue for you not until the reality settled in that this wasn’t loneliness it was abandonment and that was a hard pill to swallow. Looking around your dorm you took in your roommate's side it was decorated in whites, it kind of hurt your eyes but you weren’t going to say anything. It was better than being stuck in an apartment with your brother. You felt bad when you left him alone in the huge penthouse seeing as you were the reason that the two of you were here. But you couldn’t take it there anymore everything reminded you of the fact that your parents didn’t care about you. 

Your phone rang pulling you away from the anger that was bubbling up inside of you at the thought of your parents. Being replaced by a growing laugh as you looked at the caller ID. Your brother. 

“Hello.” You answered. 

“Want to move back yet?” He teased. 

“No, I do not I actually like it here.” You replied getting off your bed and beginning to pace your room. He laughed, the sound making you smile. 

“I was just teasing. I called to ask if you wanted to get lunch together today?” He asked. You frowned. 

“Sicheng, you aren’t eating with your teammates yet?” Your tone not hiding your disappointment. 

“No,” he replied curtly. 

“Be nice to them, be friends with them.” 

He ignored you, “So are you going to eat with me or not?” 

“No, I’ll be eating with my roommate.” You answered as she came into the room, she smiled at you having heard what you said, and you smiled back. Despite her obsession with white, you actually really liked her. “Speaking of whom, I gotta go now.” 

“Fine.” 

--- 

By lunch, Doyoung was starving, having not had time to eat after he showered in the change room. His stomach was grumbling loudly when he took his seat next to Kun at their table in the cafeteria. 

“You know I’m shocked by how good the cafeteria food is here.” Mark, a first-year rookie, said drawing the attention of the table. 

“Yo same, people complain a lot about cafeteria food I was actually stressed.” Hendery another rookie agreed.  

Doyoung nodded, “We lucked out.” 

“Yo Winwin, come sit here!” Kun yelled from next to Doyoung making him turn his head in the direction Kun was yelling in. Winwin stopped in his tracks and looked over at the table. Doyoung glared at the side of Kun’s head, but Kun ignored him. 

“Be nice,” Kun muttered to him as Winwin sat down across from him at the only empty seat on the table. Doyoung did his best not to scowl. Doyoung retreated into his own brain as the table continued to chat. He focused on the broccoli on his plate. He didn’t dare look around the cafeteria. 

Fuck looking at the insufferable cocky bastard in front of him, he was afraid he would see his ex. Ever since practice ended in the morning he was on edge; he didn’t want to run into her in a hallway again he was afraid because he didn’t know how he’d react. He wanted to say he wouldn’t care that he’d just walk by her and maybe he would, but he felt like he wouldn’t the risk was too high. 

“So, the party is at our place on Friday to kick off the year, that way we can celebrate the four rookies joining our team, along with Winwin coming to us this year and our boy Jungwoo finally hitting the ice in a game,” Jaehyun said, as Doyoung finally tuned back into the boy's conversation. 

“So, you’ll come Winwin?” Ten asked. Doyoung looked up at him frowning, the younger boy played with the fries on his plate as he nodded. 

“Yeah, I’ll come by.” 

“Cool bring friends if you want to.” Ten said smiling at him. 

--- 

Doyoung made it to Friday without a drink, and then he thought about how he promised himself he wouldn’t drink when the semester started. He then re-evaluated his choice and edited his promise, he wouldn’t drink without cause this semester, and a start of the year party was cause. Was it not? The boy in the mirror smiled back at him as he held his cup up to his reflection in a cheers before downing it. 

It was most definitely cause. 

Leaving his room his body already buzzing he skipped down the stairs, straight into a girl. You.  Doyoung looked you up and down, taking in the tight jeans you had on. He liked the way they made your ass look. He also really liked the baby pink top you had on. It was clinging to you like a second skin showing off your assets. Doyoung smirked down at you, for some reason you looked familiar. 

“I’m sorry about that.” He said and you scoffed. 

“Whatever.” 

Doyoung stared at your back as you walked away confused at the reaction he gleaned. He’d never been bad with chicks or at least he thought he wasn’t. He looked over at your friend who shrugged at him before following you. 

His house was full of people he didn’t know, and some he did. But he was at ease, this was one place he knew that his ex wouldn’t show up. So, with a quiet laugh to himself, he followed you into the living room. You were standing beside Winwin. He leaned against the wall and watched you interact with his teammate; the interaction was friendly. From the way you reacted to him it was easy to see that the two of you were close. 

“What are you looking at?” Xiaojun, another first-year rookie, asked coming up next to him. 

Doyoung replied by nodding his head in the direction of the pair, and Xiaojun nodded. 

“His sister is hot, isn’t she?” Doyoung froze as the words left the youngers mouth. Sister.

And then it came to him, the image of you pressed against a bathroom wall, with your dress pushed up as he moved inside you. Doyoung mentally facepalmed as he remembered how he left you. Turning away Xiaojun, Doyoung moved out of the living room and into the kitchen. He went straight to the cabinet where Jaehyun kept his good liquor. Pulling out a large bottle of tequila Doyoung looked around for a shot glass. He turned around and straight into Jaehyun himself. Jaehyun looked at him with a ‘what are you doing’ expression on his face. 

“I will buy you more.” Doyoung simply said finally locating the object he was looking for. Bringing the small glass over to his spot he poured some for himself. Jaehyun watched him as he tipped his head back downing the alcohol not even flinching at the burn. 

“Whoa,” Jaehyun said as Doyoung went to pour himself another one. “Aren’t you trying to like drink less or something?” 

“I slept with Winwin’s sister.” He quickly replied taking the next shot. 

“Just now?” Jaehyun asked taking the shot glass from Doyoung after poured himself another shot. 

“No. Last week.” 

“Dude what the fuck.” 

“Dude what the fuck indeed.” Your voice cut into their conversation making them both snap their head towards you. Leaning forward you took the full shot glass from Jaehyun’s hand and drank it. 

“I didn’t even get to finish.” You said after the burn in your throat subsided. Doyoung flushed as the memory of how he left you in the bathroom flooded his mind. Jaehyun looked at him a shocked expression on his face before he broke into a smile. Doyoung could tell he was trying not to laugh at him. 

He scowled in your direction taking the shot glass from you before pouring himself another shot. Jaehyun took it before he could drink it. 

“Slow down,” Jaehyun said the previous laughter gone. Doyoung rolled his eyes and moved to walk away from you and Jaehyun. 

“You know,” You said moving into his space. The two shots he’d just taken hadn’t quite hit him full force yet. “up until you ran away from me, I was actually having a good time.” Your chest brushed his as you leaned further into him. Doyoung narrowed his eyes but didn’t back away from you. 

“Too bad you don’t actually know how to make a girl cum.” You pulled away from him taking the shot glass again. Doyoung glared at the side of your head as you poured yourself another shot. He looked past you meeting Jaehyun eyes again, the boy flat out laughing this time. 

“I do, in fact, know how to make a girl cum.” He said. You scoffed. 

“I wouldn’t know.” You replied and threw your head back taking the shot. You shot him a wink before walking away from him. Jaehyun only laughed harder when Doyoung looked at him again. Sneering at the younger boy he reached for the shot glass again. 

“No,” Jaehyun said grabbing it before he did. “Pace yourself, Kun will slaughter you. You promised.” He regretted speaking to the new captain sometimes, he regretted telling Kun so much, but he did need help keeping himself in check. Doyoung rolled his eyes at Jaehyun before walking away. 

For the rest of the party, he couldn’t get his mind off of you. You stuck to your brother and your friend for the majority of the party and Doyoung didn’t like to interact with him more than he already needed to. Taking his eyes off you as you laughed at something your friend said Doyoung looked around the living room, Kun and Jaehyun weren’t anywhere in sight. He could only spot the rookies as they played beer pong in the corner of the room. Getting up from his spot on the couch he made his way into the kitchen again not seeing any of his roommates. Taking his chance, he made his way to the cabinet pulling it open and grabbing Jaehyun’s Tequila again. Your words pounding in his head as he took a shot straight from the bottle. 

“Getting shit-faced as usual,” Winwin said coming into the kitchen. Doyoung didn’t look at him as he took another swing. 

“How about you mind your own business,” Doyoung said and brushed past him back into the living room taking the bottle with him. His eyes narrowed in on you as you swayed to the music. Doyoung wasn’t in the mood of arguing with Winwin but if he had been he would have claimed that this was nothing compared to how his drinking usually went. He hadn’t had more than a couple of sips of Kun’s drink after the shots he took in the kitchen until now. Walking up to you he caught your attention, your eyes landing on the bottle he held in his hand. 

He let you take it from him as he leaned into the wall. He watched you take a drink some of the alcohol flowing out the corner of your mouth. 

“Where did your friend go?” He asked as you wiped at your mouth. 

“Home. She’s not really into parties.” You replied. Doyoung watched as you licked your lips passing him the bottle back. But he didn’t want the alcohol. His mind running as he took you in, his mind flashing to the night last week. 

“That’s a shame.” He replied. Your eyes darkened as he reached out and pulled you to him. “So, you're just here all by yourself now. Hanging out with your brother.” His hand moving to the side of your neck as he looked down at you. You let him, biting your lip as you looked up at him. 

“There’s nothing wrong with hanging out with my brother.” You replied. 

“No there isn’t except that you aren’t hanging out with him right now, are you?” You frowned up at him and then looked around the room. Doyoung followed your gaze, Winwin was still in the kitchen. Doyoung smiled to himself as you turned your eyes back to him. 

“It’s a good thing I came when I did.” You snickered at his words. 

“Is it though?” He rolled his eyes at you. That was it, he could not go down in history with this shit on his name. 

---  

You crashed into his door, your back stinging from the impact but you ignored it as his lips returned to yours. His lips were rough, moving against yours at a bruising rate, you loved it. His hands were roaming your body pulling at your clothes. 

“Bed.” You breathed against his mouth. He chuckled at you as he grabbed your hands holding them above your head as he continued to kiss you. 

“You don’t get to call any shots babe.” He said, his mouth moving from your lips to your jaw, leaving a start mark on your skin. You moaned tilting your head to give him more space, he took the chance to leave soft kisses down your neck towards your chest. His hands letting yours go as he lowered himself down your body. 

He looked up at you as he got on his knees, his fingers grabbing at the buttons of your jeans before undoing them. You watched as he undressed you, leaving you naked from the bottom half as you stepped out of your jeans. Doyoung licked his lips as he grabbed your leg draping it over his shoulder. 

He pressed a wet kiss to the inside of your thigh, your breath hitched as you watched him. Your hand moving to his hair. He moaned softly when you tugged on the strands pulling him towards your wet heat. He pressed a kiss to your clit, using his fingers to separate your folds, relieving some of the tension that was boiling up in your body. You moaned when he darted his tongue out, a short lick. Before retreating again and looking up at you. Your eyes glassed over as you pulled at his hair again. 

He obliged again, licking up your slit slowly, dragging his tongue through your wet folds. He groaned into you, the vibrations causing you to shiver. Your head fell back against the door and he took your clit into his mouth, sucking slowly. His tongue ghosting over it. You moved your hips against his mouth wanting him to add his fingers. But your words were lost on you, only nonsense flowing past your lips as he picked up his pace. Your moans grew louder as you drew closer, your eyes closed shut as you chased your climax. 

His name rolled off your tongue as your back arched off the door. The muscles in your body tightened, as you clambered for a better grip on him. You felt his teeth gently nip at your hard nub and you crashed over the edge, your orgasm taking over your body as you pulled at his hair. He continued his ministrations, working you through your orgasm. Your body was in overdrive as you came down, a lot more sensitive than you previously were. You pulled at his hair again pulling away from you, he scowled up at you as you finally looked down at him. His lips were red and wet. He grabbed your hands as he got up. Pulling you to the bed. 

He let you lay down, as he rounded the bed going to his nightstand. He pulled out silver handcuffs. Your breathing shallowed as you took in the steel in his hands.  

“No more touching me.” He said as he placed a knee onto the bed leaning over you. He grabbed your hands bringing them up to his headboard. He closed one handcuff around your wrist the cold metal making you hiss as it came in contact with your skin. He looped the handcuffs around one of the metal rungs on his bed before bringing the other one to your other hand locking you in. 

He took a second to look down at you, before leaning down and kissing your swollen lips. You moaned into him, his tongue brushing against yours, you could taste yourself on him and it was driving you crazy. Your thighs already moving against each other as your body reacted to him, more moisture pooling in between your legs. 

“I probably should have taken this off first,” Doyoung said pulling away from your lips. His hands moving under your shirt pushing it up off you leaving it around your hands, he did the same with your bra. 

“But then again, you’re not the most attentive to details, are you?” You teased, he narrowed his eyes at you pinching your nipple, earning a soft cry from you. 

“I wouldn’t be saying shit like that right now.” He threatened, lowering his mouth to your breast. You gasped as he took your pointed nub into his hot mouth, swirling his tongue around your nipple before letting it go. He glanced up at you before trailing wet kisses over to your other breast and doing the same thing there. You squirmed underneath him, clenching your thighs tightly as you got worked up again. He pulled back from your chest looking down at your closed legs, a chuckle leaving him as he looked back up at you. His eyes dark, his pupils blown. 

Adjusting so that he was between your legs he hovered over you, leaving marks on your collarbone. You hissed moving against him, you could feel his erection through his jeans. You rolled your hips into him savouring the small amount of friction you were getting until he grabbed your hips and pushed them down into his bed. You groaned against his mouth as he pressed his mouth onto yours, his tongue pushing against yours. 

Finally, his fingers connected with your core, he slid a finger into you using his thumb to rub your already abused and sensitive clit. A loud moan left you again as your wrists pulled against the handcuffs, the metal biting into your skin. 

“Faster please.” You whined trying to move against his hand but not being able to, his hand holding your hip only tightened. You’d most definitely have a bruise there tomorrow. He picked up the pace. He kissed you harder as he added another finger, his tongue mirroring the actions of his hand as he propelled you towards another orgasm, your body seized up again, muscles tightening as you arched up into him. Your orgasm came faster this time, having already been worked up from the previous one. You panted against him as he pulled his fingers out of you, you watched biting your lower lip as he took his fingers into his mouth, sucking them clean. 

“I’d say you’d agree, I’m actually great at making women cum.” 

--- 

You walked into the cafeteria the next day for lunch, the hockey team as per usual was in their typical spot. Your brother sitting in the middle talking. You smiled as you neared the table coming up behind Doyoung. Kun smiled at you as you looped your arms around Doyoung’s neck. He stiffened for a second before turning his head to look at you, only relaxing when he realized it was you. 

“Your dear brother is right there.” He said to you quietly. 

“My brother doesn’t dictate who I fuck.” You replied pressing a kiss to his lips. Doyoung narrowed his eyes at you as you took the empty seat next to him. For some reason, you were really bold around this man, something you hadn’t been in a long time. You looked across the table feeling your brothers’ eyes on you. You smiled at him before turning back to Doyoung, but Doyoung was looking past you. Trying to get his attention but failing you followed his gaze, seeing a girl who was also staring back. You recognized the girl as your neighbour. 

“Do you know her?” You asked finally getting Doyoung’s attention. He didn’t reply just pulled your chair closer before snaking his hand around the back of your head and pulling your lips to his. You kissed him back with the same desperation he displayed only pulling away when you needed to breathe. Kun whistled as you wiped at your lips, when you looked at Doyoung he was looking past you again. You threw a quick glance over your shoulder to see the girl gone. 

“Doyoung?” 

“My ex.” He answered you as he turned to his food. 

---  

Sitting in your room as Sena, your roommate and you waited for your next class you replayed the way Doyoung had reacted in the cafeteria.

“Sena,” you started looking over at her, “you said you stayed in this dorm last year too?” Sena nodded turning her attention to you. “Did you have the same neighbour?” 

“Yeah, why?” She asked, now putting her pen down and turning her full attention to you. 

“Her and Doyoung used to date, right?” Sena sighed her eyes moving around the room as she realized what you were asking. 

“Yeah, they did. She cheated on him though. I would hear them sometimes, mostly Doyoung, but it was painful to hear. One night. He begged her to let him in for hours and she just left him out in the hall. It was all over campus too, she slept with his teammate. Yuta.” 

You bit your lip as Sena turned back to her book, you didn’t know how to react. Being cheated on was a horrible thing but to have it happen with someone as close as your teammate. 

“Fuck a teammate that doesn’t know the first thing about being a decent human.”  

Your brothers’ words floated into your head. You were confused about how people could just so easily trample over others. You thought about Doyoung’s face at lunch, how quickly he shut off after seeing his ex. Your mind floating to the dark places you tried very hard to hide from as you remembered the last party you’d gone to at your old university.  

“Crap Y/N we have ten minutes until class let’s get going,” Sena said as she scrambled to get her stuff together. 

---

You saw Doyoung again after class, he was walking across the parking lot to his car. He hadn’t seen you yet but you smiled as you decided to make your way over to him, it was weird that you enjoyed his company only because besides fooling around nothing else had really happened. You made it to his car before he did. So, you took the extra free time to stare at him, you took in the way he scrunched his eyes against the autumn sun, the way the breeze blew through his hair. 

“Doyoung!” You blinked your eyes away from him and moved your eyes in the direction of the call. You saw your neighbour again, you quickly looked back at Doyoung as he froze, stopping in his steps. You watched as his hands tightened into fists at his side and his chest rose and fell with deep breaths. He ignored her and continued in your directions towards the car. 

“Hey,” You said softly catching his attention. His head snapped to yours as he unlocked his car. He didn’t smile at you just nodded. “You going home?” he nodded again taking his bottom lip between his teeth in a manner that showed he wasn’t happy. 

“Get in.” He said as he yanked open his door. You obliged, pulling open the passenger door. You threw a glance over your shoulder. She was still standing there; you couldn’t help but sneer as you ducked into his car. 

He was silent as he pulled out the parking lot, his hands holding the steering wheel tightly causing his knuckles to turn white. You leaned forward and looked at the side of his face, you stared, because he wasn’t even turning on the radio. 

“Uh, you're being weird.” He said as you tilted your head more and moved closer to his side. 

“Am I?” You asked, he furrowed his eyebrows and pushed you back taking one hand off the wheel. 

“Tell me about it.” You said settling back into your seat, “Just say what’s bothering you it’ll help and I swear I won’t judge you.”  

He stayed silent and you sighed. 

“It can’t be worse than not knowing how to make a girl cum.” You joked. He scoffed as he glanced over at you again his face fighting a smile. 

“You know that’s not true.” He replied. 

“So, tell me.” You insisted again, “I mean I do know that she cheated on you.” You added bluntly. His barely-there smile disappearing again pushing him back into his silence. 

“She doesn’t deserve this much from you, you know that?” you said as he pulled into his driveway. “This much energy, and time.” He parked the car, but he didn’t move, both of you stayed in your seats not even unbuckling your seat belts. 

“She didn’t apologize, not once.” He was looking down at his hands. “Everyone tells me that she doesn’t deserve my time. She once told me that I didn’t deserve this, but you get what you deserve right? People always say that, what the fuck did I ever do to deserve this?” You shook your head as he spoke. Unbuckling your seat belt, you reached for him. Letting your hands guide his head so that he was looking at you, his eyes were watery and red filled with angry unshed tears. 

“The world does not give you what you deserve Doyoung, the world is unfair, and people are cruel. You did not deserve to be cheated on.” He stared at you, his hands shaking. He blinked his eyes forcing the moisture away before he moved, grabbing your chin and pulling your lips to his. You let him, getting caught up in the way his lips moved against yours, he stole your air. Greedily moving his hands to your hair and you let yours slip to his shirt, holding him close to you. 

He pulled away; his breathing uneven as he looked at you again. 

“Why are you here?” He asked, and you smiled at him. 

“Because babe, contrary to my jokes you can make a girl cum.” 

--- 

Doyoung enjoyed your company, he liked your weird bluntness, your lack of fear of the world but most of all he liked the sex. He liked that you looked at him like you wanted to eat him. He like that he didn’t feel lonely around you. He just liked you. 

“So we're basically friends with benefits then huh?” You asked pulling him out of his thoughts. He looked over at you, taking in the fact that you were still naked on his bed even though you two had fucked over an hour ago. 

“I mean because like if we are I just wanna know if we're the kind that don’t fuck other people or if we’re the kind that do.” He was perplexed by your rambling not expecting you to say this, and he wasn’t sure how to respond not that he got the chance because you continued. 

“I mean I’m not the type to sleep with more than one person like that, not that there’s anything wrong with people who do, I just would like to know if you’re, like you know, sleeping with people other than me that’s all.” 

He smiled at you as your cheeks turned a dark shade of red as you let words pour out of your mouth. 

“I’m not sleeping with anyone else.” He said cutting you off. You bit your lip, trying to hide the painfully obvious smile that was stretching across your face. Doyoung’s own smile only grew as he got up from his desk chair and moved to his bed climbing on top of you. He pressed his lips against yours lightly. 

“Want to go out somewhere today?” he asked looking down at you. 

“Like where?” 

--- 

“An indoor theme park?” You asked your eyes widening as you took in the rides and attractions. “You know in the month that I’ve known you Kim Doyoung, I did not take you for the theme park type.” He smiled at you as you continued to look around your hand reaching for his the more excited you got. 

“Come we have to start with this.” You said and began to pull him in the direction of the roller coaster. “No, wait,” You paused and pulled him in the other direction, “That’s gotta be last.” Doyoung laughed behind you letting you pull him. 

“Doyoung!” You exclaimed in amusement stopping in your tracks as you got excited again. “Look how big that bear is.” Your eyes moved to Doyoung’s face a huge smile taking over your facial expression. He looked down at you, his eyebrow cocked up as he looked down at you. 

“What?” You asked, getting slightly self-conscious as he looked at you. 

“I haven’t said a single word, yet you know that?” He teased leaning towards you. You rolled your eyes and pushed at his chest. 

“Get me the bear, Kim.” 

He didn’t get you the bear, turned out Doyoung sucked at these kinds of games because he tried five times and each time won nothing. You had to drag him away from the stall because if you didn’t, he would have stayed there the entire time. Hours passed as you went on ride after ride and played a couple more games where you did win a small bear, you’d passed it to Doyoung with a teasing remark that had him glaring at you. 

Exhausted you settled into the bench as you waited for Doyoung to come back with something to eat. You smiled at him when he looked over at you as he stood in the line for mini donuts, he winked back at you. A warm feeling settled into your stomach, you didn’t have time to think about it though as your phone began to ring. 

“Hello, brother.” You said happily. 

“Mom and dad called,” he said getting straight to the point, “They instructed that we have to go back for a dinner.” Your heart rate picked up as you processed what your brother had just said to you. You were beginning to feel warm as anger bubbled up inside you. 

“After they kicked us out?” You asked. Your anger coming out in your tone. Winwin didn’t respond. “Fuck them I’m not going.” 

“We have to Y/N, you know we have to.” He said and you hung up on him. Fuck them all. Who did they think they were? Winwin called again and you ignored the call turning your phone off. You didn’t want to deal with this right now. First, they kick you and your brother out over a business deal and now, now they were threatening money. You knew that you and your brother didn’t have incomes you knew that at the end of the day you still needed them. But you hated it. 

You tucked your phone away, looking up at Doyoung as he walked over to you and sat down, you took a mini donut shoving it into your mouth, your mouth burning with how hot it was. You swore as you opened your mouth and took in air to cool it down. Doyoung laughed at you, and just like that the anger from earlier dissipated and the warm feeling you had from before came back. You watched Doyoung as you chewed and he laughed at you, you couldn’t get enough of his laugh. He laughed around you a lot, and to be honest, you lived for it. 

“You’re so dumb.” He said still calming down from his laughing fit. His hand reached out rubbing at the corner of your mouth, wiping away sugar, and you swore your stomach felt like you were on the rollercoaster all over again. 

---

His hands were everywhere, grabbing at everything. Loud breaths filled your ears as he panted around you, your heart was beating a mile a minute in the worst kind of way. You opened your mouth to scream but you couldn’t as he pushed his tongue down your mouth. You couldn’t push him away he was everywhere.  

You woke up with a startle, your body drenched in a cold sweat. You shivered as your mind went into overdrive, your pulse drumming loudly as you turned over in your bed. You took in large breaths to try and calm yourself, to distract yourself from the memory. But every time you closed your eyes that night would come back. 

“No.” You said as Dae swarmed you, backing you into a corner. He was drunk insanely drunk, you pushed at his chest as his hands began to wander up to your thigh. 

He shushed you, his mouth coming down to yours. You shoved at him again turning your head to the side. 

“Why are you being this difficult?” he asked, his hand shooting out and grabbing your wrists. Your mind went blank as his mouth pushed back against yours his tongue pushing into your mouth. His knee came up between your legs. You screamed, and before you knew it, he was ripped off you. Your brother over him, fists were flying everywhere but you couldn’t hear anything over your own hysteria. Your hands were shaking as you pushed out the room and out the house, gasping for air as you tried to calm your breathing. 

 More hands were around you, pulling you towards them but you pushed them away. 

“Hey, hey.” It was Winwin, “I’m here. Let’s go home.” He said. You looked at him, your vision blurry. His lip was cut and from the way, his cheekbone was swelling you knew it would bruise tomorrow. 

You cried harder. 

You opened your eyes again, reaching for your phone. You thought that was gonna be the worst day of your life, but the next day was worse. 

Hitting the call button, you held the phone up to your ear. 

“Hello?” His voice was groggy, you realized that you’d woken him. 

“Doyoung.” You said quietly, “Can you come get me?” 

--- 

You weren’t shocked when he came, but that shocked you. The fact that you weren’t shocked. You could tell he was tired when he pulled up to your building. 

“Sorry,” You said as you got into the car. He shook his head slightly shivering as he looked over at you. 

“Are you okay?” You looked at your hands. You knew you could tell him, you knew you trusted him. You also knew that if you said you didn’t want to talk about it he’d just take you to his house and you’d sleep, but you needed to talk about it. You wanted to tell him. 

“My parents called my brother today.” You started, “They want us to go see them for dinner.” You looked over at Doyoung taking in his reaction, he looked confused, but he didn’t say anything he just listened and waited for you to continue. 

“My parents are complicated,” You continued, “they, well they kicked Winwin and I out at the end of the last school year…” 

Your father was furious the next morning, you’d never seen him this mad. Your hands were trembling in your lap as you listened to him yell at your brother. Your anger rising. 

“My deal fell through because you can’t keep your anger in check!” Your brother stayed silent as well, “Do you understand how much money we just lost, we’re all over the news our family name is ruined. They’re calling you a thug, what the fuck is wrong with you?” 

“He was coming on to me.” You finally said having enough, “H-he was trying to do things when I was saying no!” You yelled getting up. Your father turned his glare towards you. His eyes didn’t soften the way you expected them to. 

“He’s your boyfriend, isn’t he?” He asked his voice cold. Shock ran through your body at your fathers’ words. A business deal really meant more to him? You looked up at your mother who looked away from you. You blinked back tears as the rage in you rose again, you looked over at your brother who looked equally as shocked. His anger on his face. 

“You two need to get out of my house. I have to show the world that I don’t support your stupid behaviour and there will be consequences. You both are going to a different school and I will send you a fixed fund and pay for your tuition, but you will not stay at my house. I do not want to see your faces.” 

Doyoung listened intently as you told him everything, your hands fisting into your sweats as your anger rose inside you as you spoke. You couldn’t look at him though, you looked out the window. 

“And now you have to go see him because if you don’t, he threatens to not pay for anything?” Doyoung asked. You nodded still not looking at him. His hand reached out and grabbed your arm, but you flinched. His hand instantly shot away from you. 

“Baby, look at me.” He said keeping his hands to himself. You slowly turned your head to him; his face was angry. “That motherfucker that did that to you can rot in hell and your dad’s a greedy bastard. I’d say fuck it and don’t go but I understand why you have to.” He hesitantly reached for you again, this time you leaned into his reach taking his hand and pulling him towards you. “I – I can go with you if that would make you feel better.” He said. 

You’d done a lot of things to help you get over the incident, one of those things was trying to find a guy at the bar and fuck him, to prove to yourself that you had control over your own body that what happened with Dae, and your dad did not need to take over your whole life. That you did what you wanted, and you had control over what you wanted, you didn’t regret it either because somehow it got you to him. You pressed your lips to his kissing him slowly. You didn’t understand what you felt for him, but you knew that there was something because when you were around him you felt warm and safe, and free. 

---

You didn’t take Doyoung with you, but he told you that he’d have his phone on the entire time and that you could call him whenever. Getting out of your brothers’ car you both looked up at the huge house that you both use to call home. 

“I fucking hate him.” You mumbled to yourself and you both made your way up the few steps to the front door. Winwin pressed the doorbell and you both waited only a few seconds before your mother pulled the door open for you two. 

“Hello,” She said a tight smile on her face. “Please behave today, your father has put a lot of effort into making sure this day would come to be.” You were confused, you looked over at Winwin who mirrored your reaction. Effort into getting the two of you here? 

Your confusion vanished when you followed your mother into the sitting from and saw him. He sat there with a smirk, his body relaxed as he leaned back in a high back chair. His father sitting on a couch beside his mother. You looked around the room for your father, he was already looking at you with a fake smile on his face. 

“Welcome home kids.” 

--- 

You followed your father into his office, Winwin at your heels, he’d ushered the two of you to follow him as a deafening silence filled the sitting room for ten minutes as you all stared at each other. Your hands were sweating so much that you had to wipe them on your dress every few minutes. You were glad the dress was black. 

Your mother had finally ended the silence by announcing that the dinner was ready. Your father had ushered you after him the moment everyone had gotten up. 

As Winwin closed the door of the office you glared at your father. 

“What is th-”

He cut you off, “You will apologize to them after dinner, both of you. They agreed that the deal could be back on if you apologize.” You both balked at him. He didn’t allow either of you to speak before ushering you out of the room again. Both of you were too shocked to move still processing what your father had just said to you. When neither of you moved, he did, swinging open the door and walking out. You stared at your brother as he glared at the spot his father was standing in. 

“Fuck that.” He said and stormed after your father, you scrambled after him. 

“I don’t know what you thought was going to happen at this dinner, but the last thing we’re going to do is apologize to that fucking rat,” Winwin said stopping at the head of the long table as your father turned around and glared at him. The room was silent everyone staring at Winwin with wide eyes, even you were shocked. 

“And your inheritance? Your funds? Don’t forget your place kid. You will apologize.” Your father replied calmly. Your brother was fuming, taking a step forward until he was standing right in front of your father. 

“Fuck you and fuck your money.” 

Your father snorted. 

“How do you think your gonna afford your life boy?” 

“We’ll figure it out, we don’t need you.” You finally said taking your brother's hand and pulling him with you. You both left the large dining room, taking hurried steps towards the front door, both itching to be out the house. You pushed the front door open and walked out. 

“Go to the car,” Winwin said unlocking his car for you, “I have to grab something.” You nodded not questioning him and made your way to the car. 

You opened the door and got in, but someone caught the door as you pulled it. Dae leaned down into your space grabbing your face in his hand. His mouth a fraction away from yours, your nose was assaulted with the strong cologne he overused. 

“You think that you won?” he asked, “You didn’t, now you’re a broke bitch with nothing to your name. You’re a nobody.” You shoved him off of you kicking his shin as you did. He swore and let go of you backing up. He chuckled. “I heard about your new toy. I heard you suck his dick like a real whore would. So, it’s just me huh? It’s only a little bit before he gets bored of you. You aren’t enough and you never will be.” 

He slammed the door shut as Winwin bound out the house. You watched your brother as anger took over his features again as saw Dae

“See you on the ice motherfucker,” Dae said slamming into Winwin's shoulder as he passed him. 

“What did he say to you?” Winwin asked as he got into the car. You shook your head and looked away from him. 

“Let’s just go.” 

--- 

Three days and Doyoung hadn’t heard from you he’d called and texted only to be ignored. His head was spinning, he was feeling crazy. You weren’t his girlfriend, but he was losing it. His head ached as he stared at your contact. He felt lonely again his mind drifting to every place it shouldn’t go, every insecurity he’d developed lapping at him as he sat at the kitchen table. What happened? Did he do something wrong? Was it a mistake to tell you that he’d go with you? You hadn’t taken him after all, you hadn’t called him after and when he had called you, you’d ignored him. That awful feeling of abandonment hit him hard, his heart hurt and he couldn’t explain why. 

He got up stalking over to the cabinet and pulling out Jaehyun’s alcohol again. He didn’t need a shot glass he just opened the bottle and took a swing, the liquor burned as it made its way down his throat. He didn’t give himself time to think before he drank more. 

He wasn’t going to go see you, one because he couldn’t do that to himself this time not again, he couldn’t beg like he had with his ex. He also realized that he didn’t have a single clue where your dorm was. That realization also hurt because he’d let you into his life every inch of it, and the moment he found out something dark about you, you shut him out. He closed his eyes as he took another swing, no rational thought entering his mind as he did so. 

“Why do they ruin all my good places?” He muttered to himself as he grabbed his keys from the key holder, stumbling towards the door. 

“Hey what the fuck, Doyoung are you drunk?” Ten’s voice caught his attention as he opened the front door, cold hair hitting him as he did. 

“I mean I don’t know.” He replied, his words kind of slurring. Ten furrowed his eyes brows at him rushing to him as he did. 

“Were you going to drive?” He asked. 

“I mean maybe. I don’t know.” He replied. 

Ten narrowed his eyes at him and took his keys. Doyoung rolled his eyes and glared down at the boy. 

“Well fine then you gotta drive me, okay?” he said and grabbed Ten's arm pulling him out the house towards his car. 

“Why are you drunk on a Wednesday Doyoung, I thought you stopped this.” Ten said, Doyoung could sense the judgement in his friends’ words. But he’d expected it. His vision blurred as he leaned back into his seat, his head spinning from the alcohol. He closed his eyes and laughed. 

“Ten my man, it’s because I’m a fucking loser and everyone leaves me.” His head fell to the side as Ten started the car. 

“Take me to the indoor theme park.” He said and then laughed, “because I’m a sucker for a bad time.” 

A couple of minutes later Ten was parked in the parking lot, but the theme park was closed. Doyoung just nodded his head as Ten told him leaning his head into the window. 

“Did you really like her?” Ten asked, his voice soft. Doyoung shrugged. 

“Not that it matters now.” But he did, the answer was yes. He liked you around him, he liked your laugh, your smile, the ease you gave him. He liked that you spoke too much practically all the time and never really thought about what you were about to say. He liked how you made him feel, he liked that you didn’t make him want to drink. He liked you. 

Ten frowned, staring at Doyoung. 

“I’m not back to drinking like before,” Doyoung said quietly, he wasn’t able to look at Ten. “I just – I’m not back to drinking okay?” 

“Okay.” 

“Give me a couple of minutes and then we can go.” Ten nodded at Doyoung’s words and turned up the music. 

--- 

Doyoung was pissed, it had been a week and honestly, he didn’t give a fuck anymore, or at least he liked to tell himself that. He kept his word and didn’t drink, but that just meant that he was always angry, especially angry whenever he looked at Winwin. 

“We’re playing against your old school huh?” Doyoung heard Jaehyun ask Winwin. The other boy only nodded as he got into his gear. Doyoung ground his teeth and continued to get dressed. He wanted to be out on the ice bad, his blood was pumping, he needed to let the anger out one way or another. 

Halfway through the game, Doyoung was drenched in sweat, but his anger was coming down as he let himself be taken away by the sport. Adrenaline pumped through him as the whistle blew starting the third period. The other team got possession and Doyoung focused on defence. He kept his mind blank as he played only thinking about the game, Jungwoo checked the player with the puck, the puck going astray. Doyoung took his opening and claimed the puck, skating as he looked around for an open teammate to pass to. Seeing Winwin open he sent the puck down the ice in the same second he was slammed into the plexiglass. His ribs ached from the hit he slipped onto the ice and looked up at the guy who’d hit him, for some reason he was hovering over him still. 

“How are my sloppy seconds?” He asked, “The prude give you blue balls yet?” Doyoung’s head spun as he slowly got up, he was used to hits so his usual recovery time wasn’t this slow but, then again, he never was hit this hard. “But then again I heard that she sucks your dick like a prostitute.” But he wasn’t slow to understand what this fuck was saying. Taking his gloves off as he got up, Doyoung swung at the other man. His hands shoving him hard in the chest, before skating after him and grabbing his jersey. Doyoung didn’t think he just began to punch him, he was shoved back his helmet coming off as the other boy took his own helmet off. 

“Fuck you.” Doyoung spat, as the boy charged him, he got one good hit in. Straight to Doyoung’s jaw, before the refs were on them. Winwin was in front of him in seconds grabbing him from the ref. 

“Relax.” The younger boy said as the ref ejected both Doyoung and the other guy. 

“Let me go.” He said and shook Winwin off of him as he skated off the ice and went straight to the change room. 

--- 

He was under the spray of the shower when you walked into the locker room. The steam was filling the locker room, making the air hot as you quietly walked in his direction. He saw you before you spoke his eyes darkening as you leaned against the wall. 

“Doyoung.” You said his name softly, earning a glare from him. You deserved it; you’d let Dae’s words get to you. But now looking at him, taking the way he winced under the hot water the darkening bruise on his ribcage, the cut on his lip. You frowned. 

Dae was wrong. You looked at Doyoung, you knew whatever happened on the ice was because of you, and he’d done that even when you’d ignored him. 

“I’m sorry,” you said and took a step towards him. 

“For what? Ignoring me?  Or fucking with my head?” You didn’t reply just walked towards him, slowly getting under the water and letting your hands trace over his ribcage, your fingers skimming over the growing bruise. 

“For everything.” You said, letting your hand move up to his wet hair. The water soaked into your clothes as you pulled him into you, he let you. His arms looping around your waist. You looked up at him watching his face soften as he took you in. 

“Why’d you ignore me?” he asked. His breath fanning across your face. 

“Someone told me I wasn’t enough for you and I believed them.” Doyoung’s hands tightened, you closed your eyes and pressed your forehead against his. “I let my head get carried away with every insecurity I’ve ever had.” 

“I’m glad you came to your senses.” He said, his hand moving your shirt up so that his fingers could trace your skin. He pressed his lips to yours kissing you slowly as he moved your wet shirt up your torso. 

“Don’t ignore me next time.” He said moving his lips to your jaw, “Come talk to me instead.” You nodded and pulled out of his hold. Pushing him to the wall you ripped your shirt off over your head and quickly took off your pants. 

“Promise.” You said, “but we don’t have that long until the game ends.” looking up at him through hooded eyes, you pressed yourself against him again, you kissed his jaw, before moving down to his collar bone, taking the skin onto your mouth you gently bit it before running your tongue over it as he hissed. You kissed down his chest to the side of his ribcage pressing hot kisses down his wet skin. Until you got to his erection, he was hard and ready for you. You squatted down taking him in your hand as you looked up at him, he looked at you through half-lidded eyes as you slowly moved your hand up and down his length before pressing a soft kiss to the head. He groaned before letting his head fall back as he tangled his hand into your wet hair. 

“Babe,” He moaned as you took this tip into your mouth swirling your tongue around before moving him further into your mouth. Your hand working the rest of his cock as you continued to slowly move down on him. 

You stopped when Doyoung removed his hand from your hair and grabbed your wrist, you looked up at him again. His chest was heaving, and he looked at you like he was ready to devour you. 

“I love it when you give me head, but we really don’t have time for that.” He said moving himself out of your mouth. He pulled you up to him, his mouth joining yours again and his fingers trailed to your core. 

“So wet.” He said dragging a finger through your fold. Pulling his hand away from you he turned you around before turning around himself, your front against the cold wall, you moaned at the contrast. 

“Don’t take too long.” He said and lined himself up at your entrance. You moaned when he sank in his hands grabbing roughly at your ass before he started to thrust into you. You arched your back as you clenched around him, his cock twitching in you. 

“You’re so tight.” He moaned, his hand grabbing at your shoulder as his thrusts became harsher. You heard the buzzer of the game, indicating that the game was over. Your moans grew louder as the idea of the entire hockey team rushing in hit you. 

“Fuck,” Doyoung groaned his thrusts growing harsher, as you neared your climax. “You gotta cum now, pretty girl.” He said his arm winding around you so that his fingers could rub your clit. The added pressure pushed you along until your orgasm smashed into you. You moaned loudly as Doyoung continued to thrust into you, your muscles twitching around him pushing him to his climax. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” He panicked as he pulled out of you, using his hand to reach his orgasm. “We forgot a condom.” You turned around pushing his hand away and working him with your own until he came. You pushed your lips against him, both of you breathing erratically as you kissed. 

“What am I going to wear to get out.” You asked him pulling away from him. You both looked at your wet clothes. 

“I have an extra hoodie here, and I can look in Ten’s cubby he’s probably got sweats that will fit you.” 

He didn’t finish his sentence as the boys crashed into the locker room. Your eyes widened mirroring Doyoung’s. He quickly yanked you pulling you towards the line of toilet stalls. He shoved you in as the boys barked at each other not noticing the two of you yet. 

“Sorry stay here.” He said shoving his towel at your chest. 

“Dude why are you walking around naked?” You heard Mark ask as you wrapped the towel around yourself. 

“Because I can.” You hear Doyoung mumble back, his tone irritated. 

--- 

“You guys take forever in the change room.” You complained as Doyoung walked with you to the dorms. 

“My coach would have killed us.” He stated as he pulled you into him. “I’m sorry though that’s the only thing I could think of.” 

“Whatever it’s okay.” 

“So, I finally get to go up to your dorm huh?” He asked, and you nodded. 

“I would have brought you sooner, but I have a roommate who never leaves our room. I love her but damn is she anti-social. Getting her to that start of the year party was hard.” You explained as the two of you climbed the stairs. Doyoung looked at your ass as you walked up in front of him. It was hard not to. He was glad to hear that the reason for not seeing your dorm was because of something simple and not what he’d actually made it into in his head. You rounded out the stairwell pushing the door open into the hall of your floor. Doyoung froze as he realized what floor you lived on. A floor he’d been to many, many times last semester. 

“Doyoung?” He heard her voice before he saw, and dread set into him again. He snapped his head towards her direction as your hand slipped into his. His ex was staring at him, her eyes slightly wide as she took in his profile. The cut lip, the slightly swelling jaw. He frowned at her. 

“What?” He asked his voice cold. 

“Uh, what happened to you?” She asked. 

“None of your business.” He replied. She nodded. He watched her as she swallowed and hesitated again. He tightened his hand around yours again. 

“Uh yeah. D-do you think I could talk to you in private for a second?” she asked glancing over at you. 

“Whatever you have to say you can say in front of Y/N.” 

“Yeah, okay sure, you know I – I realized I never apologized to you.” She finally said. Doyoung was shocked, he was silent for a few seconds. He wasn’t sure if he heard that right. He was only snapped out of his daze when you tugged on his hand lightly taking his attention from his ex to you. You looked up at him with a soft expression on your face, you looked so wholly his. The way you were looking at him his heart clenched as he looked back at his ex. Somewhere along the way, he realized that he didn’t care about his ex anymore, he didn’t miss her or want her back. He was hurt sure but that was fading too. He knew he wanted to hear this and here it was, and it felt like he was being freed. 

“I forgive you.” She nodded her eyes filling with water. Doyoung turned away from her taking you into his arms. 

“Now show me where your room is baby.” He said smiling down at you. You smiled up at him and nodded pulling him with you towards your room. 

“It’s nothing special.” You said as you pushed the room door open. He didn’t look around as he closed the door behind him. Just pushed you onto your bed, kissing you. 

He wasn’t gonna let you get away from him. 

Not that you were planning on going anywhere.

A/N: Thank you so much for reading this, I really hope you guy enjoyed it! Please let me know what you guys thought, any opinions or comments you have on the story are very much welcome I love to hear from you guys so please don’t hesitate to let me know what you think. Additionally if you have any constructive criticism don’t  be afraid to let me know, I always want to get better so its welcome and appreciated. 

The next part to this AU will be Winwin so please look forward to that! and once again thank your for reading I really hope you liked it! 

[isfjmel-phleg]

I’m about to give my thoughts on this week’s reading of Howl’s Moving Castle from the standpoint of having read it before many times, so beware of spoilers.

HMC is a book about self-fulfilling prophecies (among many other things, but that’s what I’m going to focus on).

Sophie’s family’s defiance of fairy-tale expectations is demonstrated from the beginning (e.g. Fanny is stated not to be a wicked stepmother and doesn’t play favorites). Sophie is not actually trapped in the conventions of the role she thinks she plays, but she can’t see it.

“He was an utterly cold-blooded and heartless wizard”!!! Well...one out of two?

Sophie attributes Fanny’s plans for the girls to wise choices in light of their fairy-tale expectations--and because she’s so resigned to this fate, she can’t read between the lines for a possible alternate motive.

Sophie’s finding that it’s always too difficult to go and see her sister, even if she wants to--what’s the cause of that? Well... “But when she at last put a gray shawl over her gray dress and went out into the street, Sophie did not feel excited. She felt overwhelmed. There were too many people rushing past, laughing and shouting, far too much noise and jostling. Sophie felt as if the past months of sitting and sewing had turned her into an old women or a semi-invalid.” Sophie’s ability to make what she tells herself happen is at play here. She’s accepted that she’s trapped in a limited role with no chance at life, and it’s as if she’s become the sort of person who fits that role.

“What made me think I wanted life to be interesting? [...] I’d be far too scared. It comes of being the eldest of three.” Ineffective self-talk but A MOOD.

Sophie’s first impression of Howl is that he’s “a dashing specimen.” She can see that his offer to go with her is kindly meant, and she concludes that he’s “a courtly person.” She’s seeing the best in Howl at the start, not knowing who he is or having any preconceptions about him, just as he is seeing the best in the “little gray mouse.”

Sophie is resigned to her eldest-daughter fate, but the younger sisters take matters into their own hands so that they can follow the paths they personally want. There’s also no judgment for what they choose! Martha wants to get married and have ten children, and this is perfectly fine; it suits her and it’s what she wants. Lettie wants to study magic, and that’s also fine; it’s the best use of her talents and ambition. The path one takes in life should be not a rigid, one-size-fits-all role but the one that’s the best job for the individual (as Sayers argues in last week’s reading).

“Mother knows you don’t have to be unkind to someone in order to exploit them. She knows how dutiful you are. She knows you have this thing about failure because you’re only the eldest. She’s managed you perfectly and got you slaving away for her.” Fanny may be not a fairy-tale wicked stepmother, but she does mistreat Sophie in a way that’s all too grounded in real life--taking advantage of eldest-daughter dutifulness.

“And she was within an ace of leaving the house and setting out to seek her fortune, until she remembered she was the eldest and there was no point. She took up the hat again, sighing.” Only convention is holding her back. Being the eldest only gets in her way because she expects it to ensure her failure and thus is too discouraged to even try--so her technically unfounded expectations prove themselves, and the cycle continues.

“The rule was: Lose your temper, lose a customer. She had just proven that rule. It troubled her to realize how very enjoyable it had been.” As resigned and dutiful as Sophie is, she is also fundamentally angry and frustrated and has no outlet for it--until this moment.

When the Witch of the Waste is rejecting Sophie’s hats, she’s actually seeing the magic that Sophie is unwittingly connecting to them.

Nearly the first thing Sophie does when seeing her transformed form is to verbally tell herself that a) she shouldn’t worry, b) she seems healthy, and c) this form suits her better. She’s inadvertently reinforcing the spell.

Sophie to the scarecrow: “Now if I wasn’t doomed to failure because of my position in the family, [...] you could come to life and and offer me help in making my fortune. But I wish you luck anyway.” Even as she dismisses her chances, she is speaking life into the scarecrow and setting an important plot point in motion!

Sophie regarding her fear of dogs: “The way I am now, it’s scarcely worth worrying about.” This summarizes her attitude toward a lot of things post-spell. Being an old woman turns out to be freeing for Sophie. It frees her from certain expectations and roles (no more need to be a dutiful daughter, no need to worry about failing at seeking her fortune at her age), she believes she has nothing more to fear from Howl’s alleged victimization of young women, and she’s finally free to express her pent-up anger now that she’s no longer in a subservient role.

The castle resembles coal because it’s run by Calcifer!

“Don’t you want your heart eaten?” As Howl and the Witch of the Waste have done. Calcifer assumes Sophie is a witch seeking more power.

Calcifer detects two layers of Sophie’s spell: what the Witch of the Waste has done plus the power of Sophie’s reinforcement.

“Howl’s quite heartless, you know.” Calcifer is again assuming that Sophie must be familiar with this process--or clueing her in.

Sophie agrees to help Calcifer because she empathizes with his feeling exploited. She also identifies with his apparent sense of duty. She’s already connecting with the creature who survives through Howl’s heart--and how much of it is like her own?

Calcifer’s saucepan song is real! “Sosban Fach” (Little Saucepan) is a Welsh folk song which has come to have rugby associations. Clearly something Calcifer picked up from Howl! You can hear a recording here.

Sophie’s calmness spell has worn off by the next morning and she is angry!

When Howl reappears, Sophie now perceives him as a child, an “overdressed boy,” and “wicked” now that she knows who he is.

“Who says you are?” “I do.” Sophie speaks her new job into existence.

“I’ve reached that stage in my career when I need to impress everyone with my power and wickedness.” Howl’s not bound to fairy-tale expectations like Sophie is, but he’s all about image management and thus in a way as trapped as she is/was by needing to hide from his true self. Being a decent person is dangerously vulnerable, better to insist that he is wicked when Michael exposes him as not. 

“He hates being pinned down to anything.” The castle is a sort of manifestation of Howl himself--always moving, never settled, grand outside but messy inside, flipping through locations and identities. It’s technically a home but lacks the stability that should come with such a place.

Sophie telling a customer that she’s a witch is actually true, in a way, unbeknownst to her. 

“It was odd. As a girl, Sophie would have shriveled with embarrassment at the way she was behaving. As an old woman, she did not mind what she did or said. She found that a great relief”!

If the castle is a manifestation of Howl, Sophie’s aggressively cleaning it is bothersome to him because she’s metaphorically exposing his flaws and vulnerabilities.

The bathroom is also a manifestation of Howl, specifically his vanity and image management, as evinced by all those mirrors and potions and cosmetics and dyes. It’s inherently a place of privacy that allows him to transform into who he is in public.

“By now it was clear that Calcifer did all the strong magic in the castle and Michael did all the hackwork, while Howl gadded off catching girls and exploiting the other two just as Fanny had exploited her. Sophie had never found Howl particularly frightening. Now she felt nothing but contempt.” Sophie is still frustrated about her own past, and applying her situation to Howl and his associates is perhaps less painful than dealing directly with her anger toward her stepmother.

Sophie’s assumptions about Howl eating hearts color her perception of him past the point of reason--there’s no evidence visible in his room, but it still must be there, just hidden!

“I can’t help what I am,” Sophie tells Howl. “Yes you can,” he insists. Despite the fact that they’re arguing, he’s getting to the root of her issues and assuring her of her own agency.

“I hate quarreling with people.” “I hate getting angry.” Meanwhile, Howl refuses to deal with unpleasantness, and Sophie gets right to the root of his issues of slithering out of everything. Lots of mutual insight going on here.

Howl’s glass-like eyes keep coming up--a sign that something’s a bit off about him.

“How you must love servitude!” In other words, Sophie is so committed to her preconceptions about herself and her (lack of) potential that she can’t perceive her own power to free herself, so it really does look like she enjoys the drudgery she’s trapped in.

[cipheress-to-k-pop]

Wally West with an Earth Bending S/O

emmacata said: Could you write some hcs for dating Wally West (YJ) as "earthbender-like powered meta" please?

Anonymous said: Hello. I hope you are doing well. I don’t know if you are accepting requests right now (I’m also slow so please do tell me if my dumb self missed it in your bio or something). I wanted to request something for Wally (dude I miss him. Writers bring him back!!). Do you have a favorite from YJ? Enjoy your day/night!

You met the Young Justice team at Mount Justice

You had sensed something wrong with the Mountain using your powers

So, one day you used your Earth Bending to create a path into their HQ

When you came inside

It was shocking

And you wanted to go inside and check the place out

But your gut told you to run and pretend this never happened

You immediately pulled your hood up and hid your face in case security cams were on

And you ran out

Just as you made it out of the passage way

You were about to close it but someone super sped right past you

You saw his face and you knew he saw yours

And even though you immediately tried to forget what he looked like

His face was flashing before your eyelids

Right when he was about to grab you, you shifted the ground to sink his feet into the sand

And taking off as fast as you could

When you got home you immediately hid underneath your covers

Trying to calm your racing heart

You didn’t know who that boy was

All you knew was that he had super powers and was a speedster

And that you were at a place you weren’t supposed to

You wondered whether he was a super hero

But there was also a chance he was a villain

In which case, he saw your face, he knows you saw their HQ and could possibly track you back to your house and kill you

Which is honestly kind of scary

So, you just try and lay low for the next few days

Not going to school and pretending to be sick

And so far, it seems like nothing is going to happen

So, you feel kind of relieved

Until one day you go out for pizza with your family

And lo and behold there is the exact same boy you saw at Mount Justice

Red hair and green eyes

Along with a few others

In the back of your head, you’re like just remain unnoticed

But just as you’re about to turn your head

He makes eye contact with you

And your heart drops

You look away anyway and pretend that you didn’t see him

But oh ho ho

He definitely saw you

And you’re like sinking in your seat tryna pretend you’re not here

And something in you expects him to just pick you up out of your seat while threatening you with a gun

But he just comes up to your table

“Hey, babe!”

Totally unexpected

Downright lunacy if you have ever seen it

“(Y/N) who is this?”

“Babe, I’m kinda offended you haven’t told your parents about your boyfriend.”

“(Y/N) (L/N), you have a boyfriend?”

And you’re just in shock

Like wtf is happening?

And you’re going to open your mouth and say he’s just a crazy

But before you can he speaks again

“Nice to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. (L/N), I’m (Y/N)’s boyfriend.”

And you finally just get your voice back

“No, he isn’t! I’ve never met him in my entire life!”

“Well that obviously isn’t true, babe.”

And you’re just like sweating

Your parents are honestly concerned like “Everything okay?”

And this red-headed kid over there is just having a shit eating grin

You’ve just about had enough

So, you wipe the grin off his face and grab his ear

Pulling him out of the pizza place

Because you’re sure he can only super speed so your powers can put him in his place

Unless he’s gotten reinforcements

But something about him tells you that he hasn’t really thought this through

“What the hell was that?!”

His face turns dark and then out steps a few other teenagers

You assume must be on his side

Feeling a little threatened, you raise your hands to fight

“Who are you?”

“Shouldn’t I be the one asking that?”

“Well since you already snuck into our base, I would assume that you already know.”

“Well, sorry to disappoint but I really don’t.”

“We don’t particularly believe you.”

You scoffed

“Well, if you’re gonna kill me anyway, what difference does it make?”

And that kinda shocks him for a second

“Woah, kill you? We’re not gonna kill you, we’re the good guys.”

“Eh?”

And now all of you are confused

Fast forward to them explaining everything

You tell them that you didn’t mean to trespass

And about your powers

So, everything is good and well you think they’re gonna let you go

Just as you’re about to leave, Robin stops you

“We can’t just let her go; she knows the location of our HQ.”

“Look, birdboy, I have a curfew. My parents probably think I’m making out with said “boyfriend” in an alley somewhere.”

Wally blushes but still makes a flirtatious comment about doing what your parents say

“And I would like to save myself the experience of getting ‘the talk’ on the car ride back home. So, I bid you adieu.”

And walk away like a boss

You manage to convince your parents that you’re not dating him

You don’t know why you ever thought that you could get away with it

Because the next day in school

Guess who’s sitting in the desk beside yours

Yep, Wally Fucking West

“You’ve resorted to stalking me now?”

“I’m trying to make sure you don’t kiss and tell, babe.”

Ever met a headache in person?

That was exactly how you’d describe Wally

But he’s kind of lovable?

Which is honestly more irritating

But between Wally’s flirting and infuriating behaviour

You start to see a genuine and kind side to him

The way he always gives you a hand when you’re getting on the bus when it stops far away from the pavement

The way he always opens the doors for you

The way he stays back in school so he can walk you home

Sure, he could’ve been doing it to keep an eye on you

But you believed that he didn’t

You told yourself that one day if Wally sincerely asked you out

Then you would say yes

And you kinda just waited like a fool for him to genuinely ask instead of just implying it while flirting

But finally, you realized that you would do the job

Cuz clearly wally is also a coward

So, you technically ask him out first

Even though he tells everybody that he made the first move

Still flirts with you

Even though you’re dating

You’re not an official member of the group

But you still help out when you can

Worrying when Wally is on a mission

Bear hugs when he gets back because you were worried as hell

His holding you tight and telling you that he isn’t going anywhere

Robin third wheeling and suddenly feeling single af

Wally likes randomly grabbing you in his hands and running to wherever

Giving him leg massages cuz he’s sore

Him repaying the favour

He’s extremely warm

So, when you cuddle, you turn the AC way up and then just melt in his arms

Damn I’m getting sleepy writing this

He always steals your food

Showing up to your parents’ house with you and introducing himself to your parents

Again

Your parents just being like

“We knew it.”

Sneaking into your bedroom in the middle of the night after a mission because he just wants to hold you

Sneaking out of your bedroom in the morning because your parents would literally kill you

Inviting you over to Mount Justice sometimes

The others don’t like it but oh well you can bend through earth so shut up

You like to walk barefoot most of the times

So, Wally always brings you to the beach

Him eventually retiring from being Kid Flash so you could live peaceful lives together

NOT dying on the mission in Antarctica

Actually, living a long and happy life with him

Forever Taglist: @simonsbluee​

DC Taglist: @emmacata​